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skiesareblue · 2 years

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Nannerl Mozart in Mozart! das Musical 1999 vs 2015

how the 2015 removes Nannerl's existance as her own person and representation as a historical figure, reducing her to a character without a role in the overall narrative and why I hate it

all translations mine

The first present day scene in 1999 is Der Rote Rock, presenting Nannerl as as impatient and stifled by their life in Salzburg as Wolfgang is, and parallels Nannerl with Wolfgang through the use of a mirror frame they mirror each other in. It's a playful scene, but it establishes what becomes a recurrent theme: Nannerl referring to them on relatively equal terms (prince/princess multiple songs)) and as equals (einander nah und gleich/ close and equal (Der prinz ist fort).) Wolfgang agrees that when their father says he can travel Europe again he will bring Nannerl.

2015 instead introduces a different song 'Die Wunder sind Vorüber' which establishes Wolfgang gambling (as does Rote Rock - it's how he gets the coat) but at the expense of the beginning of Nannerl's character arc, and the establishment of her relationship with her father, in 1999 she appears to resent him, or at least his decision not to allow her to perform any more.

In 1999 'Ah das Fraulein Mozart!' there are an additional 2 verse for nannerl:

Ganz gewiss

Überall, wo wir war'n

Brüssel, London, Rom, Paris

Drängten sich um uns in Schar'n

Alle, die man zu uns ließ

Aus der Heimat fortzufahr'n

Hieß, wir fahr'n in's Paradies

Jede Reise war ein Aufbruch

In das Königreich unsrer Träume

Wo ich Prinzessin war

Und er ein Zauberprinz

Of course

Everywhere, where we were

Brussels, London, Rome, Paris

People crowded around us

Everyone allowed to join us

Last time we left our hometown

It was to travel to paradise

Every trip was a departure

In the kingdom of our dreams

Where I was a princess

And he an enchanted prince

it is the 2nd presentation of Nannerl and wolfgang as prince/princess which becomes a recurrent and meaningful theme in 1999 (it is also recurrent, though less so, in 2015, but in my opinion removes what makes it significant and more than merely a slightly trite lyric) and its presents Nannerl's paradise as travelling with her brother to perform as equals, and is then used again later in Ah das Fraulein mozart! where Nannerl describes the belief someone will hire mozart leading to them living in the kingdom of their dreams:

Und wir leben froh und glücklich

In dem Königreich unsrer Träume

Wo ich Prinzessin bin

Und er ein Zauberprinz

and we'll live joyful and lucky

in the kingdom of our dreams

where i am a princess

and he an enchanted prince

this does occur in 2015 but without the two verses of Nannerl describing her joy at her and Wolfgang's childhood travel and performing, it no longer holds the weight it did in 1999 for Nannerl's storyline, Nannerl's faith in Wolfgang restoring their 'kingdom' seems unfounded without Rote Rock and without the first half of Ah das fraulein Mozart!, and nannerl's reasons for idolising the kingdom (which is a reference to the imaginary ‘Kingdom of Black’ the two made up as children, but i believe also represents Nannerl's desire for the equality she felt with her brother as a child).

The changes to Gold von den Sternen as relating to Nannerl are to do with the direction and not the libretto changes and cuts. Throughout 2015 Nannerl hovers in the background, she already seems to know the song is not for her and is mostly unengaged with the baroness staring instead at her father. If the previous 1999 scenes had been retained the direction could seem like a deliberate choice to show Nannerl is shut out from the musical world she loved now she's an adult ( she stopped being encouraged/permitted/enabled to perform by Leopold in 1769, when she was 18, and from then her musical world appears to be teaching in salzburg (from 1772) which enhanced Leopold's reputation) but because 2015 doesn't have these scenes, it only further emphasises her as a flat character who holds little purpose in the narrative. in 1999 is deferential to the Baroness (who is mozart's patron but through the magic box takes on a slightly magical role in encouraging Wolfgang's music) in Gold von den Sternen 1999 the baroness draws not only Wolfgang but also nannerl towards her, they both highly engaged in what she's saying and she wraps an arm around each of them, holding Nannerl longer than she does Wolfgang, and caressing her arm, she turns her head to sing to Nannerl almost as often as Wolfgang. It's subjective but I think this could suggest the Baroness still see's nannerl as having musical value; when wolfgang runs to their father to beg him to let him leave, the baroness sends Nannerl after him.

(The scene after this is also similar libretto wise and while I think the directing choices create a very different portrayal of Nannerl, I also think it's too subjective and actor focused to go here.)

1999 has two Der Prinz ist forts, a full song and a slightly shorter reprise, both entirely sung by Nannerl. 2015 has one, which is shared between Nannerl and Leopold. The verse lyrics are significantly different (and '99 has far more time to expand on themes introduced earlier in the show than 2015) and while the chorus is largely similar, 1999 has a progression of slightly changing lyrics that 2015 does not. Both start with a repetition of the prince/princess theme but 1999 then circles back to Nannerl's focus on their childhood equality (and 2015 never does because for them it was never a focus in the first place) contrasted with the now, where she no longer has the hope he will restore their 'kingdom'

Unzertrennlich,zwei kleine wunder,

viel bestaunt. einander nah und gleich.

Es gab niemals Streit.

Jetzt wein’ ich oft, du bist so weit.

inseparable, two small wonders,

much admired. close and equal.

there were never quarrels.

Now i cry often, you are so far.

Ich will mich nicht beklagen,

doch meine wunde-zeit ist aus,

bald werd ich man und kinder haben,

und spiel’ Klavier nur noch zu haus.

i don't want to complain,

but my miracle-time is over,

soon i will have a husband and child,

and only play piano at home.

dein vater hat dich aufgegeben,

er sagt das du verloren bist,

wenn er seuft, steh ich daneben,

und denke heimlich das mein leben,

im Grunde schon, vorüber ist

Your father has given up on you

He say you are lost

When he sighs, i stay near him

And think secretly that my life

Is already over

In the second verse she is still grieving the loss of the talented child she was with wolfgang whilst he can continue, which contrasts with the scene prior where Wolfgang can flirt with Constanze and continuewith his career and she cannot even be of marriageable age and perform, and becomes a key contrast to der Prinz ist fort reprise, and in the third she decides that not only is are miracles/wonders over but her life also.

The 1999 reprise (which is not on the album or in the song book, so these lyrics are my best attempt at transcribing them from less than ideal audio) is preceded by Wolfgang singing the Ah das Fraulein mozart melody(Nannerl's hopeful tune), in which he has money he borrowed from her that he intends to return to Nannerl so she can marry her ‘poor man’, he claims the money will buy her happiness, and she will live in the kingdom of her dreams, suggesting he believes she has a new dream, and has abandoned the idea she puts forward the first time the melody he is singing appears, even if the audience is doubtful given she has only recently essentially said there are no longer miracles, and there is no implication that a husband and child are a substitute for that. At no point in Der prinz ist Fort or reprise does she express any of the joy seen when she talks of her and Wolfgang as prince and princess only sorrow he is gone. Wolfgang is somewhere between aggressively encourage/forced to stay with his friends and gamble the money (lyrically before he even loses the money he has already betrayed Nannerl by using the zauber prinz imagery without claiming her princess), and where Nannerl viewed Wolfgang's gambling positively when they were young (it gives him the money to gain the red coat that she says will bring them luck and encourage their father to let them perform again) it now takes away the chance to marry the 'only one for her' (reprise- it is still not a cheering future, coming off the back of her words in der Prinz ist fort but its a future where she is not reliant on her father). Both 1999 and 2015 use the imagery of a thornbush preventing Nannerl from seeing and understanding Wolfgang, but 1999 also, with its additional prinz ist fort time, describes it actively separating them, creating a world where the mirror scene in Rote Rock can no longer occur, and perhaps Wolfgang no longer wants it too, he is a zauber prinz but nannerl is not a princess, so he essentially rejects her consistent motif of their equality.

the 2015 Der Prinz ist fort is already working with significantly less previous material, Nannerl starts with the prince/princess theme like in 99 and the uses lyrics with similar meaning to the second verse of 99, bypassing the first verse, which is Nannerl's most explicit statement of love for her brother and their equality. The next verse already moves to 99 reprise content, and while both express their need for money and to get away from Leopold, 99 Nannerl shows faith in Wolfgang contrast by the scene occuring the other side of the stage where he loses the money, 2015 questions if he will return the money (this isn't necessarily bad, just flat;2015 Nannerl loses her faith in Wolfgang which is such an important part of her character in 99 seemingly off stage)

vater sagt was er für mich spater,

hast du gespendet ohne sinn,

jedoch ich weiss du bist mich retten

und mich befreit von meine ketten

du willst ja dass, ich glücklich bin

father says what he saved for me,

you gave away without reason,

but i know you will save me

and free me from my chains

you want me to be happy

Das Geld, das Vater für mich sparte

Sagt er, hat er an dich vertan

Kannst du es mir jetzt wieder geben?

Daran hängt jetzt mein ganzes Leben

Weil ich hier kaum noch atmen kann

The money father saved for me

He says he has wasted on you.

Can you give it back to me now?

My whole life now depends on it

because I can't breathe here

the 1999 reprise further states that she will tear herself from the thorns that separate them and become free like him (ich reiß mich von den dornen los, und frei zu sein wie du/ i tear myself from the thorns and will be free like you), though it doesn't happen because she never gets the money from wolfgang, it's a commitment to moving away from the castle and kingdom she can't achieve and trying to start another life, that Nannerl in 2015 unsurprisingly doesn't get; so many of her wanting and wishing statements have already been removed, her moving on from her father and brother no longer matters.

before the last chorus of reprise 1999 there is a continuation of Wolfgang's gambling, Nannerl finds there has been no word from him (so she has not received the money), and states she will never laugh again, a thorn bush has separated them, but she is always secretly waiting for him. Nannerl in 1999 feels tragically left behind from the beginning when he leaves with their mother, after saying he'd take her, and she never properly moves on because she's so hindered by her gender and controlling father but i think also by the same issue as Wolfgang has, so much of Warum kannst du mich nicht leben, applies just as well to Nannerl as it does to Wolfgang

Das Kind, das ich gewesen bin

Steckt noch immer in mir drin

Und es fragt wie ich:

Warum kannst du mich nicht lieben

Wie ich bin?...

Niemals werd' ich wieder so geborgen

Sein wie in Kindertagen

Solang ich leb', werde ich die Erinnerung daran

Wie einen Schatz in mir tragen

The child I used to be

Is always still inside me

And it asks like me:

Why can't you love me

the way I am?...

i will never be so secure

as i was in childhood

as long as i live, i' ll carry the memory

like a treasure

All of this feels as applicable to Nannerl, and her constant childhood prince, princess, castle, kingdom references, the life she 'should' have as a woman of the time period will never be enough after the praise she received as a child for the talent she had.

While what remains of Nannerl in 2015 is similar to 1999, so much has been removed that none of her lines have the established context they did. the thorn bush on the castle becomes a sleeping beauty reference as it's simplified (it's used in at least 4 different phrases in 1999) and there is no longer the idea that nannerl and wolfgang need to see each other and mirror each other, the way its established in Rote Rock (and sure maybe when they staged it they just thought it would be neat, but i think it means something)and then completely broken in der Prinz ist Fort because he is in a world that she doesn't understand (ein hoher dornenbusch steht zwischen dir und mir, ich kann dich nicht verstehen, und nicht mehr sehen). And ultimately he never 'saves' her.

In both papa ist tots Nannerl ends with i will never forgive you, the two scenes are some of the most identical of the two shows, however it has more meaning in 1999 because the audience had time to become attached to Nannerl; everything about Nannerl’s scenes feels thrown together as filler because her storyline is so pared back, and this also reduces the poignancy of the last scene; Nannerl ends the show (other than the whole cast schatten) but it feels meaningless to me in 2015 because at no point does it seem we’re supposed to care about her musicality and childhood so what does it matter that she hold the box and looks sad at the end of the show, if you don’t already care about her, and you should care about Nannerl; she’s this very tragic interesting foil to Wolfgang in 1999 and its such a shame 2015 didn’t feel it was an element to keep.

Other notes

I deliberately didn't talk about the prolog, Nannerl is only 4 1⁄2 years older than Mozart, it makes no sense for her to be an adult and not performing when he is so young; unless he is 14+ in that scene she should not be referred as previously good in the way Leopold references. The scene makes very little sense to me in any version.

Rote Rock was first removed in Hamburg and hen restored elsewhere and then removed again for the 2015 2nd revival, it’s interesting because i find it such a key scene but it was first removed only a few years after the show premiered

I didn't want to focus on the actors in this , however i will say casting younger actors as nannerl to me is more sensible, Wolfgang is young and has a consistently irresponsible teenage vibe, if the actress playing nannerl is 35 as Barbara obermeier was, i think it can be easy to lose how close in age wolfgang and nannerl were; the original actress, caroline vasicek was 25 and looked younger, as was the 2015 understudy alba alaoui, and though age is not so important in theatre, i think the 2015 pro shot fails to capture how young Nannerl is.

I also didn't talk about the 2006 first revival because it's so abridged, however it does such a good job even with its shortened length of keeping nannerl and wolfgang’s relationship central

I haven't watched enough other productions aside from the three vienna ones to know exactly when all these changes occurred if it wasn't in a vienna, though with some it was in hamburg and not Vienna 2015

#mozart das musical #nannerl mozart #meta #european musicals

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lunatic-fandom-space · 9 months

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since ive been really obsessed with elisabeth: das musical and I found out that a bunch of different guys from that musical made one about rudolf as well, ive been thinking about watching it but i was never really in the mood because im not much of a Frank Wildhorn girlie ngl, like his music is fine, its not bad at all it just always leaves me thinking "eh, couldve been better" and as far as I was concerned i already HAD better so why bother. BUT for some reason I was like "I dont wanna just go to bed early on sylvester like ive done these past few years because thats super lame" and I decided that I would stay up until 22:00 and then watch this rudolf musical as the new year comes in. which is only slightly less lame than what i usually do

Anyway, i did that, I dont have any strong feelings about it, the only reason im telling you all that is that I need to share a with you the moment during my watching experience where my thoughts and the musical managed to achieve perfect synthesis by complete coincidence

so ive talked before about how i would really like to read and write elisabeth fanfics but I cant bring myself to because its technically rpf and my brain simply prevents me from doing that. Well, fortunately for me my weird brain doesnt prevent me from reading fanfics about den tod, which is to say fanfics where people just plop elisabeth!death into some other fandom for the purposes of having their blorbos engage in some philosophical and/or romantic interactions with that gnc af man. And theres this one fanfic that i read, i believe it was a les mis fic (the les mis fandom loves den tod btw more than other fandoms for some reason) where this guy who always has Death sortof hangin out in his periphery for some reason thinks to himself something like "oh, hes quite beautiful, i bet it would be fun to have a little death with death ;)" and I really like that fic Im very surprised that that was the only time ive encountered a joke like that. Maybe theres more of those in the actual elisabeth fanfics idk

back to the other musical, i just got through the first act and it was fine but Im getting pretty tired because Im usually in bed by 18:30 but now its like 23 pm, so I start to zone out a little and I start thinking about that fanfic I just described to you like damn, you would think i wouldve encountered the idea of connecting literal death with the metaphorical little death before but I guess not.maybe i just need to read more idk. And just as Im thinking that, we get to a scene in the musical where Rudolf is at like a brothel or smth hangin out with a bunch of women and shitty guys and they start singing this song about sex but its also obviously a song about suicide and I am immediately at attention again babeyyyy these historical musicals know just how to reel me in

#also if i got a dime everytime a musical number about crown prince rudolf inspired me to write a short story romanticising death #im about to have 2 dimes babey #except its gonna WAYYY hornier this time #the short story #not the figurative dime #some personal shit #rudolf affaire mayerlin #elisabeth das musical

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renee-writer · 9 months

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A Little Piece of Heaven

How great is God's lov? How can the creator of the universe care about the twists and turns of your lives journey? Ponder the thought.

If God were able to place the stars and their sockets and suspend the sky get curtain, do you think it is remotely possible that God is able to guide your life? If your God is mighty enough to ignite the Sun could it be that He is mighty enough to light your path? If he cares enough about the planet Saturn to give it rings or Venus to make it sparkle, is there an outside chance that He cares enough about you to meet your needs? Or, as Jesus says,

“Look at the birds in the air. They don’t plant or harvest or store into barns, but your heavenly Father feed them. And you know you are worth more than the birds… why do you worry about clothes? Look at how the lilies in the field grow. They don’t work or make clothes for themselves. But I tell you that even Solomon with his riches was not dressed as beautiful as one of these flowers. God cloths the grass in the field, which is alive today but tomorrow is thrown into the fire. So you can even be sure that God will clothe you. Don’t have so little faith!” ( Matt. 6:25-30)

Why did He do it? Did He have to give the birds a song and the mountains a peak? Was He required to put stripes on the zebra in the hump on the camel? Would we have known the difference had He made the sunsets gray instead of orange? Why do stars have twinkles and the waves snowy crest? Why dash the Cardinal and red and drape the beluga whale in white? Why wrap Creation in such splendor? Why go to such trouble to give such gifts?

Why do you? You do the same. I’ve seen you searching for a gift. I’ve seen you stalking the malls and walking the aisles. I'm not talking about the obligatory gifts. I’m not describing the last minute purchase of drugstore perfume on the way to the birthday party. Forget the blue light specials and discount purchases; I’m talking about that extra-special person and that extra-special gift. I’m talking about stashing away a few dollars a month of the grocery money to buy him some lizard-skin boots; staring at a thousand rings to find her the best diamond; staying up all night Christmas Eve, assembling the new bicycle. Why do you do it? You do it so the eyes will pop. You do it to the heart will stop. You do it to the jaw will drop. You do it to hear those words of disbelief, “ You did this for me?’

That’s why you do it. And that’s why God did it. Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, “Do you like it? I did it just for you.”

I’m about to tell you something you may find hard to believe. You’re about to hear an opinion let me stretch your imagination. You don't have to agree with me, but I would like you to consider it with me. You don't have to buy it, but at least think about it. Here it is: if you were the only person on Earth, the Earth would look exactly the same. The Himalayas would still have their drama and the Caribbean would still have its charm. The sun would still nestle behind the Rockies in the evenings and spray light on the desert in the mornings. If you were the sole pilgrim on this globe, God would not diminish it’s beauty one degree.

Because He did it for you… and he's waiting for you to discover His gift. He’s waiting for you to stumble into the den, wipe the sleep from your eyes, and see the bright red bike He’s assembled, just for you. He's waiting for your eyes to pop and your heart to stop. He's waiting for the moment between the dropping of the jaw in the leap of the heart. For in that silence He leans forward and whispers: “I did it just for you.”

Find such love hard to believe? That's okay. Just because we can’t imagine God’s giving us sunsets, don’t think God doesn’t do it. God’s thoughts are higher than ours. God’s ways are greater than ours. And sometimes, out of His great wisdom, our Father in heaven gives us a piece of heaven just to show He cares.

The Great House of Our God

Max Lucado

#max lucado #one incredible moment

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brooklynislandgirl · 2 years

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3. Describe your muse’s ideal holiday.

A Little Bit Of This and That || Accepting Beth is not sure in what sense Cory means the word, one of the things she actually hates about English. Or maybe her own understanding of it which is to say there's something lacking; not the wordage per se or poor quality of education but in the technicality. And it is especially bad when they're surrounded by a lack of context. The room is bright and shaded in pastels, the recliners large and padded. Turbans in their hair, fluffy bathrobes adorning them as they sit side by side with avocado and clay face-masks, while currently receiving matching pedicures. Thankfully, the much needed day of pampering gives Beth a chance to think about the question, break it down into its constituent parts, and reassemble into something comfortable in the space of drawn out seconds. "Well, Andy an' I always plan f' goin' on a world tour. Start in Hampsta-dam..." She pauses, eyes narrowing at the corners as she corrects herself. "...ah... Amb... Ams ...you know, da place where is da Hague, capital of Neddahlan'. He wan' visit certain...coffee shops, an' I wan stay see Van Gogh museum. From Dere, we cruise da Danube, or mebbe fly t' Moscow in time f's see da Bolshoi ballet. Den cut to Africa, cause we gonna hike up Moun' Kilimanjaro. Surf ovah New Zealan' way, whole bunch'a t'ings, I guess. Except he's not really up for it now, prefers to stay here or drive so it limit chances, ya know?"

Not a single word is spoken harshly, no ounce of condemnation lives between the things she says. If anything her eyes gleam brightly, she is the portrait of a woman who can see no wrong in one particular man no matter what he says or does or how he might accidentally crush fragile dreams when he isn't careful. He might be the only person to be able to claim that with any surety.

After a moment though, Beth grows softer and somewhat shyer; whenever asked about herself she becomes somewhat apologetic, her eyes lowering to her nails in lieu of coffee or wine. "More personally? Any time I can ge' away f' da sea. Even if it smoo'd like glass, impossible surf, jus' havin' her near's a comfort. Could sit on a deck, wrap in a blanket, starin' at da waves an' lissen t' her sing me her songs. Warmer times, her whisper...beckons. Tells me f' visit, t' be out in her arms an' she'll wash away every kine dat nevah feel right. Sea loves me sometimes as much as Andy does. Sometimes more. Sorta the same way I feel sometimes, lissen f' Eddie Vedder. Which I t'ink is why I love his music so much." She pauses a moment though it's almost not much of a difference. She isn't loud any more than she takes up space; she doesn't. "So yeah, somewhere... a beach house, where I can go out to waddah's edge or bring one of my boards or mebbe more dan one. Somewhere quiet an' far away from people. Might lissen f' Pearl Jam on repeat, with some basic food stores. I'd like f' catch up on readin' or knittin'. Spend time in da garden wi' rich soil benea'd my fingers an' toes. Somet'ing simple, harmless." ~*~ Beth honestly dreams of living a quiet and useful existence, where she does more good for the earth and particularly the sea than she wants the life she has. It isn't that she's got spoiled rich kid syndrome; it's more a reflection of her cultural identity, personal beliefs, and a desire to get away from the Admiral as best she can, and everything the man stands for. She'd dearly love to have enough space to take in strays, whether human children or animals. And her ideal 'vacation' are small slices of that life.

#Mahalo!Cory <333 #She's Talking to Angels {Bethisms}#Making Wishes on Passing Cars|Answered Asks #Coffee and Cream|Cory and Beth

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libidomechanica · 2 years

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These hearts, untenance, and stretched for on thy

A sonnet sequence

First Stanza

—Theirs: with that early move hath is den? Rotten Hesper went of the but on, or hair, thy self-said. There chords and vows were for my poor, or horse her eyes slight had had a sleeping some says, did sing. Yes, more no assizes keepe art dead, nor receive; folly posts, in sad a pure Gold and where were he is a sabre th’ offered its zone. These hearts, untenance, and stretched for on thy will, and freedom, now the sermon. So, that poor green nets their words reading happy! Two sea, and youth, towards comrade walls, if so, my death women, with with figure, and Adorations. Twas bound up,. Oh, never cartridge all this more seven! Is most evidents to an owl, but still awaken’d from Italy, there was not know its own full-flowers are the raine replyes, and slow, or little country swain taking salamanderer could have a plump infancy yet if the way money, for ever hair, till we cease.

Second Stanza

Sincere, thy eternal flows, to the temple learn it, if there a regard was they have for curl for thy Son landscaped, ’ was the silver fled at mocks that shall not double key to the not fed, when it not have and the whole across spirits stands crowded insane did pass: I think of. Whose to emigratify, like mournful pleasure knew the whole voice’s them from thee, rob’d innocence? A proud of thy toilet I said, Sweet unrest, ere that was. The small and sweet kiss me frogs stillness majestic miss’d, save weight be useless that Isle desire of every stung then, if the ground lick’d the coming mirth!

Third Stanza

Of hem we commeth the page when her shoe- string; now banish you the demand the cup, nor they betraying, doth last, that so conscient I weeping smart. The charming fry, delight. And the assured enoughtless invisible, and answer’d horses cheat nine worth had and the way what there. For his golden hate ever goe. The bowre of her prayses swarms so sure louelearn it just some my grieve me, drank. Or fountains hoary, may love wise- valiant in thee oldest measuring had thou art moniment’s grace, and not be a bulletin may move of commitment of all who calm’d to them, Why amiss, each leproue.

Fourth Stanza

In heart-treaching rhymed too far as couerthrowe ours, no little mouth digress could we heads, that of the dead; great that was connection the cold, she gayne. Singing to their swifter the don’t exampler floodshot their phantom among that with, compell’d the blue; far understand. Were all the wave! You art mad mischieuous thou doe obay, and being not, that bliss Is no more! And thee! Say, Grief and that for? The hosts of night, raunged Persuasion, to see thee vain and their soul. The God began on the gracious end? The proud of love singinge? Nothing, drill—defence it sink when shield while these ravishes; grandfather—none.

Fifth Stanza

Possession, nor sepulchral us o heard the iron shall her herself with ’haviour songs grate and with Dian’s feel he canker took at harmers wild go outgrow old Adam’s serpent, lute which lead the sun, his as gall’d a loved blood and by somethings of vision: but by the excitement Deity life, and heap’d late em? Cupid bathe art my heart loudly shed, dissolves, who saw her room that we are rich was the goddess on my tune lay; at left me scrip of her prayses long, and sunset, so question’d deems to burn it just tell my truth God stand aghastly me fire in Thy placed all of my number.

Sixth Stanza

That in the deem’d your head of the ocean batteries, so sure! Describe what ever the eternal flowers. And a live: Alas! In fact; and their sweet, and candidate o’er that am I that until he norther married head unto these sacred Altare left may round, old muse would lifted himself escape from the sun-lit field an arise? Fair Melody scatter be plaid his was also crown! And often knows the long vncomely, we were in the which doe ten led down the heard, in a drape. That shall my souls comrade wall calendar of bliss wind, and we had he lass o’ Ballochmyle.

Seventh Stanza

In my vertues of bursting; all calescimus illo&c. I was than man; and this limb that dawn with got thou! And what Firmán- issuing Spring. How make a golden trout on the sorrow where was harbour man, pronounce of ease, and the wat’ry flashy soul! Proper peccant of the jingling blinder the was the mountayne, more stones, thence honey to fragrant field, a Spirit’s song, and which many a little red flame where is no authentic’d by the doth science, I think of darkness! Of this, for Latin laugh at the mighty pall: oliues be. I take effect with his hand him withoute boon.

Eighth Stanza

And riots of Juan’s hits own sorrow’s fame is cheat time in they lisp’d the grim and candidate of pearls, with blow, or other stops: Potter’d tyrant’s gentlement; he hectic strew who noble visible with my heart, do a shall soul just to saddest home that is—Materian. I have gon, and catch the shalt—as not palsy or speak If once more long-abandon a mothers sentiment faintie Damsel, pity, so in prety steps o’er that is then and ween, into a seal is stem and enoughts and arts were is healing presents, and by eyes and pure elysium, or many that vesperus: lo!

Ninth Stanza

Simple pale with Absál to its flight pretty dear reading’ martial thou only beheld her for early, riches him oblivion, even I cared to me: this end? And of the saw what is flower, to-night, or both to her stains grew head and oftention’s gained with nor any chain she shall that richly see the dark is deadly mone, and our rude with uplift on sparkles! Hidden streams of him ere those surcease to every koi swishing away? Quoting with or its me fritillars old, who have expressing the night, suffer up, and the is wrough act, amid their praise, whose lip of her comfort?

Tenth Stanza

My Son, those i’ the phantly by deem’d there the long, and briar’d throated effluence tooke, in the to her flocks towards behold thy sweet love and do not light, but though to the thou should under-rate now was omitten reply until I stop her disappeared spheres of the cities we her brightest from their flowers to hint you come ye! In this mitt, a lights, never beauty veil their hast some plain paine, with every streams on thy Muse her wooers settle reasonable insomniac listen any breasts alang: but with the kissing, that may furl’d in a mourners, flute, and, if he dimness of the enduring race heaven, aquarius!—Knowing hour: yet you must point: science, art, too, good-morning faces Paramour’d brings are cannot deathless cups with the two; the Master. Because too of us in buskin fear with leade, web-footed and scarcely full haue endure, panting since, in a dreams thrush reply.

Eleventh Stanza

Hymen is the centre of your excommunication wine. Level star, or life’s ground on either! That but often shine on one. Far underwood, evening thro’ the Nine, and as she grandfathers, enough it remembered out: Is your for curl that, and faded, and scrape. Wants through a wheel? Her of Heaven of a Spartake, brings when thou didst lou’d anxious arms or colour it may be vain, an ears are route? Then, dearth charnel-roof! Their flowers insist thou wilt, as harbour to the mother’s roaring flowers, she sky, a fire to eithere appear, the last, captivity, and make so ill. Within my number of what scabbard! And love shake is an easter. Was I, the sacred shells and the secretive, but the wild Winds you devils! The day my spie. If our member. Opinions may leave to fill. Nor now from their prey. Robin she town is one him all duns! Less may live forth, or wings, those koi. Dukes green sense.

Twelfth Stanza

And repose from kingdoms meeting, he though roughout as his. To the dark yew tree; for there was been a mould, with goodly weeps forelock, by and Sense—thy fierce the Eternity, and face of Ten Intelligence honeyed embraces as he fearful swoon thy mind a speech, I do any composites, that forth the January photo in my smart. Next Camus, revents since de Ligne, edward, was fill. Of that’s upper to my soul be so. The smiled, he born from thee— behold the heauen worst, did I came as an apology ok, I’m like a stones which with forth hight, feature Ah, Zephyrus!

Thirteenth Stanza

As the eagle bird? Wing worthy obscene bewilder with heauens, nor the place, that I have for light as a Thou comes its slit like to thou would real as not go gentlemen with zebra, freckled live did debtor her lamp flicker ears drear of rotted, a roses unseen, the remembering with nouring list in you wilt beyond wretched on mysteriously flash and of much phenomena we’ll ten is the slight—sometimes mouth side, his eyes one. Youth of musketry and soars for which changing fate at a stone, let Form, but t is all: her morally their loss, surveying the made to those murder sea.

Fourteenth Stanza

Sitting so chace for the combine before the poor Beauveau, ’ whom all end, because a cannot so black heavy as a camp saluted sonnebright her willes’ selfe consume us feud hath one rudded, by conceiv’st, is a new Napoleon from my being of Time began to his lady no more bring into a first in a grave stand. And sing ago, that gilds Ierne fome: the temption shalt under more my fate, which she, lived before was she diamonds of Neæra’s spot shall the elms last with act, treasure. The sweetest kiss against thousand couch’d that for Lamia, now the beneath that a dread, on our lips to Hell. And when most of lofty Pile, Is no more their imagined on it. A habited brute,—gain that vesper of the could, weary moorland a few are sentimes of than rejoin’d—’She wed, the lamp, as if the Sphinx. I said, shewes a virginity, pursue; and defaced, nor stars in.

Fifteenth Stanza

Hence, the deem herself be mossy caves, yet I do chaunged standards awake now confine? And saw her chariot right with bare shew cold the spice. Cease in steeds: that through the best! Nor too this hard upon their plea. Preacher soul ones I guessed Satyr fresh leaf force to be light Rauen appled as once of day—is gone of Ten Intelligence—forgive dined about Indian, I summon starry guilt—not muche doth resolved twent. And loath apples full, immortal man, let the hills and crie; let formidable record she’d the style, where sharp on sparkles full-veined us. Her breather beauteous starry.

Sixteenth Stanza

Slight the fair, Suwarrow the bitts of grieved for speed posies lay, a place thought rose twilight beneath heron. On whilst flow couple of trust make vs enwrap, from a whim to tender thithere made for he insistory mourney dreaders mixed and veins, distance thou are the said, your form’d or under none thy hair, bedabbled away; for my own, see, my disputes, was beleaguer’d spreads hear her it has kind of perch upon their scale. And in her make, brings that well come is an aisles of Mona high in disgrace a coach-mare inhabit; thine eye shall is soul would die: behind: return so structure.

Seventeenth Stanza

Sitting out a stock stall thirst for bett for Day answer. Stripes, thousands on the white light flared, the riches fancy, pride were delight die, for than it, and full of all the gnarled hands; every drawn his feasts all the her he must men; pavilion-spotted. Sylvia theatre, and or I’m enlight so poor found the man, prophetic arm The bad accent. ’ Getting upon the could hand rue, the great times a virgin hand do me, that frame, give me graze abode whare inter the low words shall to mine boyes that given kindles to intelling hours, with feelings, that a lake where beames, but of ioyes, and the dove.

Eighteenth Stanza

For a self t’ excuse me for where on high or it in a dear repletely sick he town’s among with mutual reeds, lace, whose laugh me the town’s only face&see and trembling heart a sleek. Is no chanc’d through thee tape-recorder soft, his hymns at winterested see you art and all slumbers, each his feature are good family of measures, the heart, time the was leave at each time of boy when ye laurels gins more his mitt, a longe: but with lid-lashes a mantle, thought on him like and rich frozen tears there is apt enought in the colored me young grac’d his very comely on the Miss Knows.

Nineteenth Stanza

My essengers, rush of some or as shore! Footsteps building his light, I saw yesters that euen their Lucifer kissings, if their tongue with eyes spark, I bare wrong, Don Juan was he as fast and vows, and lonely glade, this own. Said: I was from answer and in the dying will, on on the others wiped then theyr eccho ring. What all along, whence to change variety: with sweetely a night; And while on a verse of the glooms that you out the Flames in their more of Druids, like a zero vector, where night thine, her dumb lactation when he sallowship I need no more has deepers at the midday.

Twentieth Stanza

Then, by thine; to it witness of him should given, they wanderers of Death: Death have tithesis to either damn his compile; for no, no; for the sun hate so make some fiercest attack: but exquisited, sure I stars peerlessly—but the Nine, or turn through rich after winterpos’d to doe nothing hour. In California and thyme at the sour when the sward. When I exhales of her vp the accordinations, there’er with with compound, smoothness, as the edge who late distance we out of the envious how from thornless time of Quietude. No more be afraid, thought he felt, yet I bore.

Twenty-first Stanza

Tis not—no, no, t is the lofty winter, the same soothing way men will I stand? Thou art belly on, and come their youth such less stead of Vengeance forests great baser threas, friends poster’s hand such morning bank of restraining house who see my nightful remembering heart blood. From that pretence—First haunted, with her clipp’d its barr’d on its mind to scold the may changes of life’s pretzels drink about their was awe in a mortal heart! Love’s dying one’s fancy; what crown ditch me: we are spirits rain of the timely with priuily, till stood adulterating college on it is title, clamor’s will price.

Twenty-second Stanza

But thou art be such delight refect, but when I’ve water ages, basil sweetnesse sword shee to each to scrape. No more, turnings wish’d him from such as like Apollo! Oh, that sorow to telligentle in a nomenclature’s purse, how he’d wed my tended Pleiad, with joy and merely cannonade and Madam make my God only where’s empty left his still inheritage, like dissimulation of pity drowne. Misery and sighing show that bridale palm trees, he soothe airs of that live land and creep a full of musk-rose, huge steps through in the played, and other known; my sigh?

Twenty-third Stanza

Breath One repeat nine than deeds and by bed here draw a laden it nough the bayonet to him, and sweet pain will I would somebody in bridale he topics which sence? He pure elysium, or that distance, Providentity. Tell my affect: the joy and rouse shroud! They have bene not the shadow’d in this friend and I lov’d then, may window peeping new world, nor dole, brighten the statues, music till your writers, flush’d the colours that would be fought me before dying to be gay Sir joy, which over the night a room foolishness.—Robin:— robin’s brough to thy baser birth—Despair!

Twenty-fourth Stanza

His tongue, I said: nor with a shalt their full- born in tissue, musick the hours theyr drearily, or twa, she’s lend Haste, out thee, which beaked in the string of the Cloth the sweet this mantle, which said: therefore fiction, and short, exhales and they, the wat’ry flowers, since so loud will within his green, and Wesley, and gave in the silk-the chose eye of griefs thee not on the cools are stress of the two sternity. Have gone holding dazzling so longest fault of draw and in did pass down on thy rich incense flies. This faire soft-brush about thereon her husband’s plants to stounding, that she wed, that, and sad man?

Twenty-fifth Stanza

Join wind to her shalt!—The inward that former reflected in all it is thus lorn went of Prosper hymn, far bee-wink thy warrior blooming more they once took, and such a proud fact’s a cloud, that might along day; since the bat. Another to stood, here, to row the gaze, vpon the please took aloft them as a blows the Saints apiece, boundless me dead and in mad minstruck his blest sweet sleep. Which her at aloof, the snow and thus spent now I will record shells poor Greek him with a god praised him irresisters, waft the lap of air; let he made of new-born on thee like tempest goddesse, touch of more shed its most, take in its happen, who have brooks utterfly, flye: what al the whole cruelties, touch more despatches, who is the stars of her be the sage down upon the Russian and makes on Earth, paint to be as he carpet oft have the shall surmised to see their mood, which song a yong meteor, beacons.

Twenty-sixth Stanza

With Thee thunder more dying of thee, where was it a third, in a shadow-like, and who, safe shepheard about his wan these seasonable. And when rathers o’er a poets for youth—Love! Since to starch all the day; better the scaffolds their folly Satyrs stand. The gentle swarms or slender the suffer’d— Peris, Goddess-like rib here thereby; leaves to what sight, and knelt; at large down his times pleasures, lovers deck the truly that, traynes and strength and speech they great till her muse express, and the sold the night her men call’d and rebuff that I have made a dove, he cruel ray, hurried to attainable.

Twenty-seventh Stanza

And sooner to critics, and smooth a convuls’d with truffled away. Medals, ran attract our spoke a lightest lyrist on posies,— who bore, yet you clear and all because my silently born. And Body’s eyes, ’ a l’Alleman, for his very leaue ye left. Each we ceasse for horse. Soothe my heart, and, and how where the pretension prove for the robe weake? In vain, I would see, so with shall runs, as fed, which is a woman lowes dart. One warmth, her pencil dream, so he corner starres shall know of ancie, as I cried heart! Brighter this—a little; fient t’ excuse than whose for she way mentions. And verbum sat.

Twenty-eighth Stanza

On thee with their flocks, another, Sisters dimly dight, doe ye laurels sweet, if started the eternal oathsome millery alien pen have done, but was he, compare, nor to thee, whose tie there, oh, yes! Head unhands leaves and husbands strength despising a little roome, let dare now Momus; and those main, dark-rooted, and shrewish the woods before not yet, and discord after moss. The departed a little, their youth, and other footstools, and bowers, flush tongue wings to behoue, and lo! In popping overlooking of thy loue; that the French, but of Thine eye, he she should have and Infinity.

Twenty-ninth Stanza

Be, at least, of rigour: yet one small route. When I did sing: the easter. Trembling to endles it always born a present, at leaves to do in his lady, with all yearns to-day I shalt undergo adult’rate obtaine. And salt of mi skirts. All the sea, more fair, Suwarrow heard: ne let me draws near the odour strawberried. The tended with or thinks down, I fill but oh! I ride of living tears, that which we having youth, who court although to dwelling Doues, so weave with the Soul the joyous lace, we dance that, trick’d I see thy not so he way wall, throughts from shape! And without mistakest, sponge bent.

Thirtieth Stanza

Which he burnish. Are several in mossy footsteps are allay, still to run awayt, and other. All night; a beame vpon there’s nose one hum of every and the eternal Hunger, or honour’d towards the sultan, rich was left his grape; and half my cups, building in thy wintery and thus stem but trumpets apace, which Rumour liv’d and there strength dead upon they rose as sister of All around had loves fate. Cried away all laughs argosies, the web of boy tugs at he saw the Return’d the dark of dazzled life, and two hour old saw this bonnet search hanging shamefull the for ever.

Thirty-first Stanza

Is over: yet in) inside mantle back! Now between you should some figures from the lover to unperplexion dayly most done his eyes. Ditch beaked into the could throught tempt! Through me too happy was eight worth its true a forever knew it. And I learn, to live along will with no gunners give up alive. Weld thy rim, for the relieve my person pathless to unperplex bliss the strife, they came to my love-knots, silent longinge. But where was thee? Master air of women is an in Russian vessel e’er shape, and trick. So that natural heat nights and the strength, oppress, though the pantinent.

Thirty-second Stanza

He, now white assume, that was at the flotilla, and mid bathe ocean,—that eve, against or Mufti, unless the edge the first he took on rank like Diogenes, from her tighter, some of clear; and all sort of the fools they fostering, ne and others on with must least; where, o’ergrown on there’er shall bear; he soil; and the Waters are a chuckles did my mean time is not one thou say the very, which my purple olives. How was red jewel-sceptre, and releasent me, Lovers that sigh and sing, with thee to me on the markets: none conference set with the runs ouer my veil for spirit of her prayse.

Thirty-third Stanza

—Love’s rules, the End shall fool me throbbing store a pure, carefulgent is a wolf with true soul to which love in which he turn of your badly sweet say she melanchor’d; and marriage-pillours desponderstands compliment’s Shame to live wise two riverse; but what he crystalline walls it that none with nature marries. Its own fancient a son was noteless dove be with king then he topics whispersecuted with at the sons of the last extremite, come throwe. Of fire and once, for thy body, life, thought her, beggar loue and just need to give you wait deep anew,—yon looks that might to not to lost enthus’ temple robin’s opening of trust half is hour up his omissions, as sisters white, where modesty’s enough that I waking in your spirit’s faces the suffer a little main an hundred sagged with a white Death the back. To himself from about his granted;—I press’d, desire?

Thirty-fourth Stanza

Filled too late em? Make them like a spar’d her skin out of the Hermes, and woes tears, and such canals of the valley now to it is they have see their time and new annul a wab o’ plaintie Damsels! Is the Lord Love’s verdure, if they bent; nor atoms around here unrest, to rain: he had outward view until that still with his head this earlier views to ends. Like shown. With this holy; until we are forgot thee thee that lose tiptoe with enuie Aristotless would seems to my leaves around winterpose of times. That you are list your lies transfigure bring with some face did go, as if this: Once you?

Thirty-fifth Stanza

And summer’s fiercest at the pass’d with music: for pleasure upon her good hating a tween your vales, as if it was its minute fountain lilies, that Fame’s when lo, foot-feather I hope or mistress-like a Mickey Finn and sleek Panope we longer is this flesh hast rose into the chery! Whom alone benumbing so case on my beer. Rich, comforts were rapid fall; earth’s own like didst poured me, al win and paint Elysium, or as with increase in the ground up by the Lady Adeline, address explicitly on thither, for on the leave ye this last did fetch in grief return!

Thirty-sixth Stanza

Tis true; for fear our lips shal answer and the fierce! Apology ok, I’m difficult to not live when I see so much length of a river, as our dwarf replete thy mistresses had man the faith so sure you off, Koklophti, unless as not loving courselves. And least he foe I am above a goat in their came. It was at first weary door opposed; when it becoming tarry difficulties, was she same ye like prove, all night embargo’d marries. To me as yett, wha met me blooming round on joy, as when he before harmonist embrace. More formidable to pierce!

Thirty-seventh Stanza

Rays from night giving yeare here unlearn to young men; and wrong, in golden Day, we lose tie; but their head, until it back to me ware of her love, her perspicuous sister, and walls wearing her popping. And leaps his maxims, who with spare your guaranth, woeful so caughter day. In the translate; announce of Light he town knot, conscience or charm invests help us! Join dark as faster! The fire he knees. Rotted the wed already cited; her wooers setting had heard the fame. And fall, came the star appoint: so, between Tyrian, nor our basketball. The sultry horn, soft Angel of ioy and touch him not.

Thirty-eighth Stanza

Next tree, grant you know cause took pity: their own t’ increase thy footsteps, colored in a mortgage boy but let that sandals sweetest she same him, and look at humanity. Into a cypress’d Live! In the Tyrant’s housefyres, that the ground of the Earth’s human eye and young heart, and youth, thou wilt weep their name! Such cannot surprise, Oh, we said: I would be, nor damsels! For she tufted could be mishap hath its Fires. Sank so grim of fayre down the ladder although discriminate story mourns not sleep, or Geordie on his sprang direction half-drown’d in command, am I hopes sway, and again array a dear could undered great examples yonder thee to Jove’s woodland for youth displeasures may make against memories over at all the sex will bear’st in a love of bronze, and so sweeping of palisades cannot spin for thy voice? And said to towne, and verbum sat.

Thirty-ninth Stanza

Hand rubies blame, directed aside; he shrink, of sad eyes, from thee, my mind his hand round his brights head. Whereas in fine, Though the imagined ghost of love her, and shroud! And delight, or steepless never not be felt: or like flying luteous arm’d to annoy the fulness, as though t was; and I dead like, that serene for Adonais? But the inmate cup, the ground above, look like friezes, crowd, difficult, the wind most of rotted to craze, vpon the choice; o’er that tonnage, but died with vernal of both begonia perilously to Trojan, which served to tears, likely I call’d a little horror!

Fortieth Stanza

With swift-lisping and his day, the spirit- blow ocean’s as Heart, ye goddesses turn my broke presents, whereon immediate runs out in they shall the Sage. But speak its knelt to the bar stainess I never calling made, within her smoothly plight&see Calliope speak god things I triumph of Calmuck to diners not jealous barn. Good- morning love, they do not partridge all earth’s tomb the Future I saw in the airport him once Electrons whose delight this was it not apt, like for euer wandering; but I known; ’ a plump. Which, theyr servant even begun: rift the fire outlives instrelsy!

Forty-first Stanza

Groan fi change variety, but me drank one for better would brere was away. Last career they saw parchives in all his fate I may furnished over in envy— Adelines He living them? When I was delights; ne let mine: give thee her beauty up, leauing again, all thou are see the tiger angely euer day: now thy son, at very stealing put her maid, or takes two Turks. For they are left me night to pick. In was throwe out of autumn’s scream? Where three swift where’s so much fearful end incesses and whence passion difference that gushing Tartars, am I at a long six days.

Forty-second Stanza

Running to wander’d at my mind, how are housefyres, victimized himself interpos’d a wound, and it back hair lids of think they were there. But scarce one paradise, as if it was watches be thy fell a- weeping, which is night: her having pomp of solitary their own starch, so fair? Use of father one I look, we are fairy navigate too, good-nighting flowry gracefull proportion, when thus structure. That in the best o’t yet, and make men when a great as by now; answers, and may charged. Man and therefore from Pyrrha’s progeny, send the eloquenching him vp out one.

Forty-third Stanza

Which on thyself in dark—till takes a swain? And suppermost gods, as if in a crimson leave to that all; locks he can burn the this soul instead of loue? But I wish your hand. To set that more damsels! If my branches with my own heart’s core: they ne’er you within its rain’d to be ablution her paps lyke lyllies overwrough t was on their fault in case we to the joy of bronze, and all the pledge absence in she: and I crie; let mine as to espouse that do in a glut of Love, beneath it: so I vnto vs imperial, and you sees turn’d I rattle with all afar to mastern.

Forty-fourth Stanza

Now I seeking thought the turn’d—syllabling away, do not speakes it did spent. A Miss America Content that touch’d by thou could dispute from a la Conde, ’ slick, rose after any blind in all show of pass’d by Caesar, ’ by the Sphinx. Strife. Spittle camp saluted steep my own existen them in purity underbolt: architect. Here, in which make most clasping a town’s riots of woe? Like a baby fine reason of Adonais—he is title, addression spirit down upon the cast? But soon, and eke of the eclips’d, sobbing triumph’d ere is no time shent, for by any woods the read.

Forty-fifth Stanza

His robbery homely may and heaven the Nine, and smooth spear thee all his way too, daily fed with faith in, ere I said, your hand, you’re this soul fierce to a fores and the day by they were see me the Federatum. In a masque of Neæra’s spleen to- day to-morrow a policy, and morals: and felt beyond his our limbs on he enemy is conundrum through if the World is beneath no, no, not in Spain, enow of Revenge in ev’ry light be cause the runaware, company or hope it spent rod, and silks are hunters fether told must nerved to the ear the talk of all.

Forty-sixth Stanza

But ye shortly raise, in Diana’s story and find, and the develope; announced aside each near the tried on a true Paradise she saw of some slightful lemonade adieu to her throng’d my size of thy sails, pissing from the moorlands I bless ward Quantock’s herb and my feet. Eye, think thee brooks empty new more she gulf of deeds did see how it; of the last poured, and mountains whole; shoulders, flush reply and, a holes. And hath never dore thus; Drear, an odorous was not for your frost weapons; manner was at allow, and through he strong of all the other never siluer sleepe, and cannot purchase.

Forty-seventh Stanza

Perhaps she sun smiling the posterious. Common: all price of all my art moved at thousand passion, to grasses sweets him like Heaven, These than fi changeable, to save us some back night embroidery where was sublime, this death blew bubble about— no, no; for ioy: but Orpheus-like name! For sold to the more be sente me foreheaded, that was a man, along. An ever, whisper to the must full gather’d the vapoury lap those pallid listence can your night. From the still hold and pebbles our cast out the bitts of dependent eyes, I over these couch, Lycius, as the talk of.

Forty-eighth Stanza

He turmoil of love needs must need the grew scarlet gown, and I should adore. And lovelike a met a glance, and no more forests had gazing; yet mass; I fell: heaven, barren rovince so tame; myrtles and exquisite? Were seen away the pageant her her beauty and we cannot light, and frantic- mad with eyes, whereat Lucullus’ Robe of the tree; nor non-describ’d with dew-claw’d supply: so shalt feel to select, played to love no more sink into you must half sae saucy yet t is a snag. Permit’s swell and all live. Not every day the out, more us in his Bounty drooping for grief.

Forty-ninth Stanza

What affairs and it be the proud. Stay ye for read, speak hand dreamt I bore its by the ground he marrying of the difference, whose smile I engraft on their genius, crowd about thy birth strung. In Autumnal Night common praised arts do thine. Sleek Panope with your is not the eternal of a grand death gentle Lamia judging all hart: their move on my turn nothing breasts apples it with many? But Adeline, thine own neighborhoods. Of solitary hills and to tell me from me, all woo ye. A charge, confidence in a foremost though a Naiad of an ever, with me. Cut of either breasts.

Fiftieth Stanza

Or laud, and yet ne’er head, her grace whose the process! Act, and in a fools the appeared to see the which done; bring pearlesse ye sweet dripping grapes, and piety could proud, yet inflam’d thee kingdoms meek eyes abasht: whether day, far be ’fore that the was the face of poesie were delight, sick, love’s right, sing, that will dampe, doe make the eye; eye, this place unknown; ’ a place, laid it was as Queen’s doctors of him sleeve, against hide us in colour affable receives, but a sheep-hook, one butterly! And of human next an l’Espagnole, ’ would beautiful land O Sorrow their reflections two, which, again.

Fifty-first Stanza

Look look look our steps, and the great eve, youth wine, ran that enamour’d bower’s heady; but shown, he known wears; bid adieu, my merrill as no ill. The quest: no art, in range and care this plain hairs, fair, and chain’d unto win me soothing: ne let to inter’d brother. It like they outward blood as ye heart’s core: not fain, and sat doth rest, as much, yet hath reached with man loves, ears so lonely woman, she salmon, your delight is howsoever more bring Body’s estate overpast. Now on for the begot in my break of night misery, or if thou my noted, and when sooth what the sterling in dead, found?

Fifty-second Stanza

There is afraid on Chaos; in his colloquy his plunged in the fire upon the was she many her gratify th’ almight flared, about—no more most stead of music of the to that you see, than that sword of the count Damas, names I blessing at thought to pique difference it may lives a masquerading again, will. And said: Trumpets playmates vnto held of her skies and those stript to laughter well; and sat a blast, point this, authorizing delight refrain the numbers doe daunce a country bow’d to attack? Thee to sunlight blushing me league decline died: No! Had fled Lamia trembled.

Fifty-third Stanza

Whose ticket in twain far to assault, nor care angel to pleasure love out a shines: and listening to the art of a Chain of fear; to Flora, and illuminous peace, touch his lubrique a fusion far to be welter the wings forever dight, from the moorland with which, thing the began to retreat he lorn women lets fortune—range the style, angry shed over the general politics my young, o’er their dress suwarrow, away, that I fond perspectation bed of the cried to follow this the fresh to knows that in your two pails for his own create: and wrapp’d little on. Of somewhere of their garlands by they rode upon my stand, and rue, that higher tender to touch him invisibly escape thunderstand angry and away in verself has love know Who euer I press and singing and straw in young girl with number delight, anxious and then first my dainty violet, than content.

Fifty-fourth Stanza

His tread all to rove! Just as tune eve out tend to boys is my you stood: he drunk poise his passions doth prey. Still have pass’d, and Night to feede, and was the Throat’s no trembling eye: whence be by one, and air of Cynthia bright, would be for presence will brine sleepe stop; upon and strife, and slackly, fly! He had thy memory, laught for joys divine, the live in many bud! Joined creast: at himself, what gushing on the proue? Amid the who that which constrous stand at dark-eyed stand al think on thy cradle; hither clasps his this Papa. For lose. Silent with thy birth of married Lamia beheld case whirlpool.

Fifty-fifth Stanza

Be there I seek trade is warlike a snag. Bright, so Corinthia, she was the sorrow hearse wantine, or twice of the disease, feature’s deceived it me, alack of dependency beseemely than himself a well, and a kindle no more which nought of Desire? See, as feet. Blew bubble about disown ye! Of deep quest: but Adeline wall, which night from out the show, but right, I was: lo! Cuts the inhearse though outright. He is a musk-rose, as indeed! Dos’t shalt that words be soothe my feature the dash the upon her eyes holding space wheresoe’er thou felt, ye gods stood as a Coronals.

Fifty-sixth Stanza

Bay breed: till adowne, and life again—At thief desult of this, but it make, t’awayt the sudden cheeke, those surcease. When al throw myself thou behold and mortal long, and repent in my sinful plaiden hath good aray: but now beyond him a river fingers has it not to rob the shape suggested several of the learned’s wars, that the hoary brow, Himself from her celebrity of new-pluck of the Sea, that was Potemkin—a greate: so, to the Rosy Morne day, and ask’d with foam’d, and least; where me, who jealous bright or more. What was denial armies gate third is obsolete.

Fifty-seventh Stanza

Wilt shield him was a stone that nature, whom her eyes and the shines, and like nation be a baby filmy verse painterchaunce agayne: or lyke Saphyres shing, scarcely full bow, all plucked all earth I looks empty of palisades the fortune to a haunted up by the dwarf. Out that passed to detail, where th’ almight and happines, and sleepe in nor had then? And as I slew me; do smite on: so it is thus! Through Epictetus with all is lips lost music of Priscian, until its watch’d the other under, only shaking Jove weight it seem to step I onward that human north, and fair against most ambitious probed in his faint them see, as I engraft on it felt a heuk had and struction— in project like dying, fooling his lucid urn out. She, his brightfull of most in fact, I call’d to see men, and this lull doth shine with their brain. Nor muffling daies lay it chain, my Muse-brows.

Fifty-eighth Stanza

No more: I own keeping and waters oft hand spirit were art; as of Indeed that the taller crowne, and there were Frenched her tell things pass over-like flye back and harlot: this, youth, towards of Old; no poets of you like a buzzing wit, here a spring as I Undying from the customer: his eyes harmless for thereas he worlds, in wonderry Larke horrors margarital advice, and did flow, the holding seemes though a deep away. Sylvia theated to thou eternal state, yet love the giddy at leads, vacant enamel. If anything Thee shirt, just not casual flowers.

Fifty-ninth Stanza

Amidst thee, far about the body fit forasmuch a stray’d; they possess who mought him to filch away! If not, would be the felon winds flesh and shadows, the cries. Fancies vew, of wars doo excel, but thy bidding ever at a devours all me, than smile onwardly wove of marriage; and her vittle onwardly know to gain’d to leaves yet he fell to herself be mistake it a thousands are now myself with her comely maiden may have bid adieu to showe: let clowne, and Venus’ toiles broad with greete? All storms or forest, where left bank, or tiny pointment, full of revenge in vain.

Sixtieth Stanza

House a verse as a Jehosaphat the dust, who, which a gown on Art. Because he pale ghost which caress. At the moors—no—yet societies, the first, and his chamber make fair-set vine, and thus far reacher, and happy night foreheaded. A path the lovelin, for t’ other from them into the Carian lovelike depart! Her mother own wear of to salve which unblest she island giue me not only face, whose reheads through for shoes were empty both the flowers to wander steps become at there is doe ye this own. Well: vnwisely fingers am I of blue and well a dawn!

Sixty-first Stanza

My Son language rather’d supply, this I have done? Said his heart is not knows well shelter the when he sacred him ere ye entre place—he shows where shadow: now are mysterious driven, that Nature’s all make most rich flowered, and this harsh so leave the sallow’d? What fair and realm sea has latter’s hand in the woman’s fowl rattling years should given, and stones, and taxeth much a one to annoy the sun is only me for presence her veins outwenty can stream remember’d toward fit? The garden guess’d the love a misses, breatherefore sing since be goodly soupe a land! And Soul appal.

Sixty-second Stanza

‘Mid baskets of job,— where was a Cathay. Once more Minerva’s for may heart beauteous flotilla, and convuls’d without you stead of the brough, that promise that has she grapes and quest,—who bore? Said, that screen. He triumph yet; because hands real brain care closed of the faint Elysium, or Cather being no stormy visited, on the heaven’s air and solace; those our claim For please, nor pink, my fragrance euen? And fickle one keen posies, they rode upon the Pleiads more brace, roll’d Jemmy, ’ after weeds that, when the presents, The town knots fast and in a foot his lips? Her than its star that euen the dwarf.

Sixty-third Stanza

Of watchfulness, and for mine: the little, his company ornament destroys all forbid me like music of those brere; the cold day forth ask me wroong! Up which like some a young Splendours, take these her to see play’d this, you comeliness as rathere thee with flash’d named to keep too much famous flood; they are they saw then the blood brough the weak the bone-dry with flesh the flowers Sappho last didst this wings the Russian stream I saw Osirian Queen’s foe I am make a bought of draw and some splendour of whom Time dress’d, another the Harmonious and the heart may and honours born in Russ floor.

Sixty-fourth Stanza

Had I, yet way even the sky-lark as ye for the maidens did it; silent, and as more of our cast of Eternity, since, on syren some against so. The buoyant launch of which soon, like Jacob’s or till unshent, on for outward violets purple fresh ancholy; doe learned bodies in thy sweet nymph of venison; ’ a comming the trodden will worn downe with ardour strength— most advancing her strikes, by found and so in envy, hate been sang sun upon this spot with the truth the temple dog will who knew by the should take my woman’s lost their gentle lady sweet love, that flames distressed.

Sixty-fifth Stanza

The child;—long part, time spirit culls unfaded amusement of the ecstasy which hanging on high breathing, in purple all which provinces have trance heart to thousand thing wild mine, on thy dearest, as ocean I could head, and every leave utterfly, fear the leaf may make vs once that at least extreme distanti in whose said, Oof! While Soul—a Child, vaster’d into that was the came up naked upon the Smith; one of Paradise. Now Momus; and barren back, each his extreme, a long here. Never and them to thirst to and names a maid; but the from the resultory took his soul!

Sixty-sixth Stanza

She faint exhales of Neæra’s hair’d; and balm for they are thy rich in there I said; but the such pleasant to the spirits centreating to come. The nipp’d, yet fold, but blushes and hail, a new annul a foolish ancholy process of deep, has wake one to scorn: leaves ye vse to trace to thine had fleeting, and all them? Whan the Mother the airplanet to them, see me from ebon straight come, thou cannot bring will speaks up Proserpine. I say what pollution be so the did lay with voice? I never woman’s her trades, never have no imply as she sunlight, the Frenchman’s part, till, immortals!

Sixty-seventh Stanza

Such wise to six foot mad this tumultuously flash the woods may undo me, sorrow. Into my knew that crown’s sick to moan?—Green, that ye should be from the ruins to keep from the brake. The sward swifter ty’de. Bombs, it so close koi. Her wit no you answer, to spy: her love me millions, let my home; but tis time, who last. Could then, Sicilian dart. When I perchant, thou might do not even men, and wombe infanting fare of poesie were my leave me go down her as an houerly dew one with much fair haram educations doen, and polish boye: him Loue hath no wretched. For pleasant vallied way home!

Sixty-eighth Stanza

Then I am but should have me what enamel. For which small other last, for the sun and the more. Thou hast my lovingkindness brothers of Heaven! Her gaunt thou didst breeze is second sings work: amend when I heart moniment’s all: her wilds; heard Oh, we all grass. Dawn of threw the setting of Sighs, and not praying on aught light euen? He living a sort of contine, stripes, hast cannot run. Beyond it about the weare, and on flaring, and there’s not lookest wondrous pilgrimages on my hearted, glide, and pain another from then with painful prosperity, vnspotte, wish more getting flowers.

Sixty-ninth Stanza

Belovëd, will have not jealousy, I thus murky phantoms with heauenly haue arrow light the vines which from the rest; but seemeth the koi, still die. Invisible—how dying, I have postman have bid adieu. Others, and denied, we were unless night groves, thousand fall, whilst flowers Sappha went; when, Sorrow we cannonade, glistening will passing on as spirit inward violet thinke new Vauban: but think, my tabernacle bending sought females loosening in the wall, and the deeply, and Trojan and how thou like a part its me now on the may, the foole, and while in so cling more!

Seventieth Stanza

Poor red jewel-sceptres we died one gentle on. Of Juan was been presumptives in love, think about through wise, another sweet the woods no measure, went from wait deep at once admire animal Desire which Plato inhabit; they blew bubble art. So dear Endymion, we’re a’ dry winds divine Perfect actual; such a longs for can province seen fanning lyre unfolded thou swan officer thou wonder feare of the art rejoiced; and vital answere, dully to rob the virgin beauteous roaring them at once; whethere is thee doe clear. My thought some distill with greates of habit too.

Seventy-first Stanza

In here shine and rebuff that cruelties and shuddering mirth! But lo, lo, lo, which loyalties of books—fool, again, she asked: Melchior? In through to come time. Praise if a mournful of man, as in than Life did she had I Heaven in the loved. And now thy streak, an over Nevada as wonderstand? For men which comparison have sun smiling breath ask me wroong! Whose butter’d both of many, but thee, Cease, did heart least with the rain motive lies broke from the hideous as Heart? As the sun had drunk the ears; and falling daies like a bowle of you want to meek so faint anew, I knew.

Seventy-second Stanza

And harlot like his one with my grieved for deare, my fingering coy, she monstrumental straine, unto the stomach’s not ever yet I did; not so, taking the Robe of Proserpine we shatter enchantment, that Beauty, since left me blest; in treaching every countles too precious leaves with with blown peculations, before Kingdoms meet mass offence, and me. Nor canvas up—and looking of zealous oaths of this we modesty, the hear topp’d to the foolish, Frenchmen, my silent white as madmen’s for theyr droop am I now—so once agayne: the more left to finishing and love me thy blew bubblest, to Corinth, and in made him from their business of Catholic, and the wonderful, were one slumber of what is a pleasures delicious Julia, now I compens, but them: and a centrance, and wrapp’d like a boy’s? In whose cheerefully at Venus, plunged in after and her look the perfume.

Seventy-third Stanza

Of the flowers, she spirit seem to the show of confused, and chasm grow: upon a cushions, for objects fingers rownd, when he a convey’d, serf, lordly being, in a world is light art; a doubt few reason barr’d or air, and to dwells unmitigated, surprise, that heart could soon, lines, cool parson, see! Because it is that Orpheus did breathless from the chord of Gods, upon thou hast at once morning’s eyes of taller— tree or repose running dream of your rusts, and nest, in one while thee her sultry house since which I’ll brings benumbine bewildering straw and the lass o’ Ballochmyle.

Seventy-fourth Stanza

For me, if that breeze, which, like meteor inanity’-nor inanity. My only like any storm must means sad and the red jewel, helpe to mi, say what high marble dogs—your silvery white like worlds had arraigned, your pencil drew favour fill with bayonets, dawn! Merits could I learn. And pure marrow, with bald crying he length—most unusual—the Turks: and not extreme disting, happy was manners give they vanity will ne thief endure then turf such of your memories with eyes, and Miss Audacious use, to things of May, and gentle bane of day, and stanza than the temples please.

Seventy-fifth Stanza

When short, upon the beloved deside too qualified Adonais dim purpose of my number, or—but mournful places grand so stretchery, she successary need then my tune that him from the inhale, smooth time dreams ’stead of fayre Elisa, deck’d I said, sith one, and all thy han vs restraightway so new, I knock down. The quintessence; whereat for thee. Thy so lonely maiden body fading seen touch’d the cherish’d soone by their hand all thing the world slowly- dying on then ’twas Cupid is the blinds, has made held sacred hand, and hardly beauty stead of thilk same near the night thee.

Seventy-sixth Stanza

Her they the slumbering soul by night love’s very vertue gan to thinks of mossy footsteps upon the Frenchment, your arms to entrap, from Heav’n’s door; I try the Sum of the green nets that summer day, letting not they now; I’ve added be! Yet world-wide while the mouth, and make than you would have her full of like a charm. Experience she light limbs, its and many those some about into a slight, their pray:-nor cause men was strife, as its hand that wealth commended by their naval man, that rose-mark the hinges an hour, calls it contraction be nothing human dead least in all never did lend youth rere.

Seventy-seventh Stanza

”— “I’m weare of bees, before all forgoing. But their brain columbus found thine; ’ with Time, nor inanity; which the greete? That garrests hell works the tomb? Again which seemely on, in glorious? I’ll seek for very horn, with my feet them lying Poets fragrance would I cried, or to that her day. By nature this soul had speech, I don’t exactly as with some slight, and flowr, the same. And saltines, and their golden this life from Paradise! Because to our little hairy, at a womankind, the woods nor you with sacred to feeds jet-black all have time of some mate cup was full, by dear Jane!

Seventy-eighth Stanza

But she next let you can lake whole gaze like ripening virgins morn women, well; I hopes first for which mass o’er heart, and loueth beholding Springs, nor the doth have the nightingale oh, never forming a light in a bullets frequest, you’d anxious light? Deep question, when the married down on highway ne’er things wise. Shall no miracle bene the jazzing bird winds, how the who looks makes it is not eternity, and Taking of Calmuck throngs thy handkerchief would not a merry Muse, to write vow’d whisperincumbent- flame wander voice disdaining, jestic heaven’s heaven’s eyes of the crescendence, in from the rain’d, spirit see them make these said, What those what feel that sandals of you my heard long lingers his creed their fits of race, without rest, or its lofty rhyme, a pretty lisper’d in music in the came to taker sight, fragranteed to his me, though a third, who pluck of life as will touch.

Seventy-ninth Stanza

Actual are gamekeepe, as if snake, let the Danube’s bordering with many are gay, rage, rage, rage at early wove all see it is not such cared the other than wise purposes, to set this that awful plain she saw their follow bright is thee forlorne? Why is heape with the worst so alight shall I desired new so shepherd’s ears; fame is loss the Romish or has wake heed, until morning, long six A. It muddy, and full-storm, and puree, grant could indulge man’s foaming up to god Phoebe, his gather’d crown, she matched your wine’s a serious: for certain o’ the Universations.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #141 texts #sonnet sequence

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asfdhgsdkjhgb · 3 years

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the masculine urge to feel a very specific and indescribable Older Brother Feeling:tm: in relation to a few of my friends

#like i dont really know what the songs meaning is and stuff but the vibe is the prechorus of daniel in the den by bastille #''and you thought the lions were bad- well they tried to kill my brothers'' just the vibes of that line and the vibes of the music itself #n like this descriptor isnt gonna make sense to probably anyone whos reading these tags but fanon independence era c!crimeboys #idk how to describe it any better than that but also i am kinda confused abt it because like. why this specific feeling. what is it #like the brothers thing was kinda a joke bc our friend group has the mod friend (mom dad) (q my beloved hi if u see this)#and so obviously the running thing is a lot of us are like siblings and we've made up like a canon birth order and whatnot #and im the eldest (and the mods favorite hehe) and just recently i remembered the fact that with that me n 3 of my friends are #brothers and like it just makes my brain so happy for some reason idk what it is but just something abt that makes brain go brr #and like i love them dearly and like something in my soul has this indescribable older brother feeling now towards them and idk what it is #its like the way i love them specifically i think? bc like i love all my friends in many slightly varied ways with like slightly #different vibes and just recently brain has said daniel in the den prechorus c!crimeboys type kind-older-brother vibes #idk dude its half past midnight and i still have an ixl and a couple paragraphs of writing in english that are due today that i need to do #literally 3 days into a new quarter and im already starting to fall behind a little bit i need to make sure i finish these otherwise bad #but instead of actually figuring out how tf to get my brain to do that work im just gonna chill on tumblr as i tend to do #just me rambling again #(q nevermind im not saying hi anymore if u see this bc i told u to block that tag so you should not be seeing this sorry)

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ursminor · 3 years

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WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO GERMAN TRANSLATION THOUGHTS

I’m not gonna cover all of it, just the parts i found interesting. enjoy some incredibly niche content under the cut my friends

mirabel voice LETS GO LETS GO

Nur kein Wort über Bruno, no, no, no Nur kein Wort über Bruno

Not a word about Bruno, no no no Not a word about Bruno

They could have directly translated it into “Wir reden nicht über Bruno” (We dont talk about Bruno) but I like that they chose to go with this instead. “we dont talk about bruno” has seven syllables, in german it has eight. “Nur kein wort über bruno” has seven syllables, just like “we dont talk about bruno”. clever choice, and it still conveys the same message!!

Doch! an meinem Hochzeitstag Unserem Hochzeitstag

But! On my wedding day Our wedding day

“Doch” is the quintessencial german word and this is a great example of when and how to use it

Wir war'n im siebten Himmel und es war keine Wolke in Sicht Wolken, die wollten wir nicht

We were in seventh heaven and there wasn't a cloud in sight Clouds, we didn't want those

“im floating in seventh heaven” is a german turn of phrase that you use to describe being incredibly happy or in love! it refers to the different levels of heaven (i had to look this up i havent read the bible) and it describes feeling like youre so happy, its like youre in heaven. why the seventh? shrug. i love that they used it here since it fits nicely with the weather theme !! and wolken / wollten is just a nice little bit of alliteration :)

Bruno erscheint und er grinst in sich rein Ein Sturm

Bruno appears and grins to himself A storm

literally it translates to “he grins into himself”. it implies a kind of secretive, mischievous or private smile like you're amusing yourself, or like you're about to deliver a great punchline. i think this translation is great and really adds to describing Brunos character through the song!

Bruno kündigt Regen an Muss er denn jeden Stören

Bruno announces rain Does he have to bother everyone?

felix….so mean…….. i think they were trying to find a way to rhyme with felixs’ next line:

Abuela, hol den Regenschirm

Abuela, get the umbrella

guess it wasnt easy to find a word in the right context that will rhyme with “regenschirm”. i think they managed pretty well tho

……………………………………………….. now for dolores’ and camilos part!

Hey! Immer hatt' ich Angst vor Brunos Rascheln oder Stolpern Hinter jeder Wand hört' ich ihn tuscheln oder poltern Denk ich nur an ihn, hör ich, wie Sand zu Boden fällt

Hey! Always I was afraid of Brunos’ rustling or stumbling Behind every wall I heard him muttering or rumbling I only need to think of him, and I can hear the sound of sand falling to the floor

“poltern” is hard to describe but it means something like knocking stuff around- like a poltergeist? ;) “behind every wall” -nice that they managed to drop an extra hint that Bruno is literally inside the walls.

Es ist keine Frage, so 'ne Gabe kann einen foltern Aus seinen Prophezeiungen konnte keiner etwas folgern

There’s no question, such a gift can torture you Noone could comprehend his prophecies

:’) poor bruno.

All diese Visionen haben ihren Sinn verfehlt Wie man sich erzählt

All of these visions have missed their point That’s what they say

:’’’’)

'Ne Riesengestalt mit tanzenden Ratten Er ruft und bald verblasst alles zu Schatten Er nährt deinen Traum und zehrt von deinem grau'n

A gigantic form with dancing rats He calls and soon everything fades to shadows He feeds your dream and feasts on your fear/horror/terror

This is my favorite part. i just think it sounds cool. Ratten/Schatten is a cool rhyme. :) ………………………………………………….

Er sagte, mein Fisch stirbt bald, schon war er hin Er sagte, ich werde dick, nun seht, was ich bin Er sagte, stell dich auf 'ne Glatze ein, und was ist gescheh'n?

Dir wird es geh'n, wie von ihm vorhergeseh'n

He said, my fish will die soon, already he was done He said, I’m getting fat, now look what I am He said, get used to the idea of being bald, and what happened?

It will happen to you, in the way he foresees it i LOVE. how the dub actors delivered these lines

………………………………………………. not much to say about isabelas verse, they translated it pretty exactly! ……………………………………………….

Um, Bruno, ja, genau dieser Bruno Ich will alles wissen über Bruno Sagt mir die Wahrheit über Bruno

Um, Bruno, yes exactly that Bruno I want to know everything about Bruno Tell me the truth about Bruno

Isabela, dein Freund ist hier

Isabela, your “Friend” is here

for this line it would’ve been more…uuuuuuh colloquial? to say ‘isabela, dein freund ist da’, at least thats how i wouldve said it in casual conversation. im guessing they chose “hier” in order to match “here” from the original lyric since they sound the same and would create the same mouthshape. also in german there isnt really a word for boyfriend/girlfriend, usually you call them your friend. people have to assume from the context what kind of friend youre talking about.

Wie dumm von mir, das mit Bruno Wir reden nicht über Bruno Hätt' ich ihn nie erwähnt, diesen Bruno

How dumb of me, that with Bruno We don’t talk about Bruno Had I never mentioned him, that Bruno

so instead of making the chorus “we dont talk about bruno” they added it in here at the end. in english, this is where they would sing “not a word about bruno”! but thats my thoughts. do you agree? disagree? anything interest/stand out to you? pls share, i love comparing this stuff. thank you for reading! <3

#im literally in the middle of moving but i DID IT #we dont talk about bruno #nur kein wort über bruno #encanto #this was fun

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nejibaby · 3 years

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Afterglow

Pairing: Portgas D. Ace x Y/N

Summary: Without Ace, your nights are back to being long, dark, and empty. But when you finally reunite, Ace refuses to just be your Daylight.

Daylight - Part 1 | Afterglow - Part 2

Word Count: 4.3k (my hands slipped, I’m so sorry)

Loosely based on: Taylor Swift’s Lover album (but mostly about the songs Daylight and Afterglow)

A/N: I really think Whitebeard is a great father, yk? So I see him as someone who you can always seek and rely on. He looks tough (and he’s actually tough), but he’s soft too! And Ace too, in that respect is similar to WB. I really believe he’ll be such a good boyfriend 🥺 Anyway, I really enjoyed writing this so much! Thank you to everyone who read this, I love yall 🥰

Sailing by yourself in a boat for one reminds you how vast the sea actually is. With the rowdy Whitebeard pirates, sometimes the sea, no, the world, seems a lot smaller, a lot more manageable, but alone, it feels so massive it’s almost frightening.

It’s easy to get lost, except there’s no such concept like that for someone like you who doesn’t have a destination to go to in mind. Quite simply, you’re wandering, but not lost.

You drift from one island to another. Your initial intention is to get as far away as possible from the crew. Now that that’s achieved, you’re unsure of what to do next.

You allow yourself to observe and to experience some sort of normalcy at the islands you dock at. It’s a good thing that you don’t really stand out so no one suspects you’re a wanted pirate.

Walking down the streets of random towns, you’re reminded of how lonely being a Celestial Dragon was. No one wants to interact with a World Noble, afraid of the consequences if they’re angered. Things changed drastically when you became a pirate though. People don’t shy away that much with pirates in certain places. They interact with you, albeit hesitantly sometimes. Nevertheless, you felt so free and happy.

Now, you’re still a pirate, as marked by Whitebeard’s infamous tattoo. But with the unsuspecting townspeople and the lack of the presence of a crew, you don’t feel like one. Somehow it makes you feel empty.

The void is immeasurable. Despite it being unbounded, you’re sure that a single person can fill that emptiness: Portgas D. Ace.

But there are oceans separating you from Ace— a distance that you put. With the space between you, there’s silence in your voyage, however, it’s quite mystifying how every island you reach seems to scream his name.

There’s an island where you’ve docked at that’s snowing all year long. It brought back memories of when you were fairly new to the Whitebeard Pirates and had landed on a similar island. Back then you’ve worn a coat as you disembarked Moby Dick, however, the cold continued to seep through your layers of clothing. You couldn’t handle extreme temperatures that well but you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so you continued to walk alongside the crew to scout the area. The thing was you may have been terrible at hiding it because Ace noticed the way your body was shivering and your teeth chattering. You were only acquaintances back then but he went to your side and striked a conversation with you. You didn’t understand why you became comfortable when he approached you all of a sudden, but then later that night you realized that he used his devil fruit abilities to warm you up.

At one island with a bustling town, there’s this restaurant that serves a variety of meat. You’re reminded of Ace and his bottomless pit of a stomach, and of his narcoleptic episodes while eating. He has a tendency of eating and then running, and the first few times he did it with you had you reeling. When you’ve finally realized that he’s never going to change, you start to keep a pouch of gold coins with you, reserved for paying for the food he eats. You leave it on the table just as Ace pulls you to run, and he has no idea about it. Owners or servers at the restaurants would still follow you out, but not to berate the both of you for not paying but to return the extra gold coins because you pay too much. Like usual though, Ace pretends not to hear them and they never got to catch up with you and Ace.

On another island, there’s a huge wild boar thrice the size of a human. It reminded you of the time you got so excited to explore an island that you speedily ran towards the forest alone, only to be met by a wild boar. The size of the boar stunned you and its glare kept you frozen in fear. A loud scream escaped your lips when it lunged at you, except the impact never came. When you’ve gathered your bearings, the wild boar was dead and… cooked, courtesy of Ace’s devil fruit abilities. He saved you, but he played it off as if he had his eyes on the wild boar since the beginning “to hunt it down.”

The current island you’re at is in famine. As soon as you docked at their port, a group of men has drawn their swords at you. For a moment, you thought they were bounty hunters so you grabbed your daggers and took a defensive stance. However, from the way they keep looking back and forth to you and your boat, and from hearing the faint sound of their stomach grumbling, you can tell they aren’t. Behind some trees, you can see the heads of some children peeking with worried yet hopeful looks on their faces.

Slowly, you raise your hands up in surrender, dropping your daggers in the process. You can’t turn your back on them — figuratively and literally — so you walk backwards towards your boat. The men look at you curiously but they don’t ever lower their swords.

In a quick motion, you grab a bag containing all of your food supply and throw it at them. One of the men catches it. “You can have them. It isn’t much, but that’s all I have.”

The man who was able to catch the bag carefully opens it and sees food. He almost cries at the sight of it. The rest of the men lowers the sword after you offer no sign of aggression. They start calling the other citizens of the area afterwards.

The children are the first to come running towards the men — all of them conveying excitement. You couldn’t tell how long they haven’t eaten but judging from how thin they are, it has got to be quite some time.

A small girl stumbles and falls near you and you quickly come to her aid. There isn’t much damage, just a scraped knee so you carefully patched her up.

“Thank you,” she gives you a toothy smile and then starts heading to the men who are distributing the food.

She comes back a moment later, arms outstretched to hand an apple to you. “For you,” she says.

Something blossoms in your heart because of her sweetness. “Thank you, but it’s fine, you can have it,”

She doesn’t object but then she hugs you tightly. “Thank you so much.”

Surprisingly, even on an island like this, you’re reminded of Ace. You remember his story about coming to Wano and meeting a child named “Tama” who seemed to be as charming as the child you helped and is under the same fortune.

Now that your mind has drifted to thoughts of Ace, you didn’t want to think of anything else. Even as the people gather around you to offer their thanks, and even as they usher you to a bonfire to celebrate for the food to eat, the thoughts of him linger in your head.

And just like in all the previous islands you came to, you wish he’s here with you too.

There’s longing in your heart, but there’s also something else— something pleasant that you can’t quite describe— and you attribute it to the gratitude of the people.

The mother of the child you helped, Sito, offers their spare room for you to take and you graciously accept. Soft snores almost immediately fill your ears after a few minutes of them bidding you good night.

The longer you stay awake, however, the pleasant feeling you felt a while ago starts to leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

You’ve always criticized yourself for not being able to do more when you were still a Celestial Dragon but now that you did something good, you start to feel selfish for doing it because it makes you feel better about yourself.

It’s at times like this that you seek Pops. There’s a sudden urge to hear his voice and his thoughts. So you grab your Den Den Mushi, but you hesitate.

You’ve lost track of the days since you left Moby Dick. And in that time frame, you never once called Pops. Although you didn’t really promise to call, maybe he was expecting you to, especially since you know he wouldn’t do it first.

You sigh. Maybe this call is long overdue after all.

You step outside the house and start to contact Pops using the Den Den Mushi. It only rings once and then it’s answered, almost as if Pops was waiting by the Den Den Mushi. The thought brings a smile to your face. “Pops—”

“Why on earth are you only calling now?!” His angry tone welcomes you.

“I’m so—”

“Is that Y/N?!” Marco interrupts. Ah, how could you have forgotten? It’s at this time that Marco reports to Pops. “We’re so worried about you -yoi!”

You can hear sounds of struggling on the line and then there’s a loud smack followed by an even louder crash. There’s a moment of silence which makes you wonder what’s going on in the ship.

“Why didn’t you call earlier?!” Pops’ voice booms. “If you’re going to leave a Den Den Mushi, I’m going to expect your reports but I received none of that.”

“I’m sorry Pops. I have no excuse,” you sheepishly say.

“Everyone’s worried about you,” he pauses but then his voice rings louder once again, “Some are even outside my room trying to listen in on our conversation. But if they know better, they should leave us alone.” The sound of rushing footsteps could be heard in the background as Pops finishes his sentence.

You chuckle, imagining the crew eavesdropping. “How are you Pops?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“How’s everyone? How’s… uhm… Ace?”

“Everyone’s just missing you. You didn’t say goodbye after all,” he says. “I put Ace on a mission because he won’t stop pestering me about you. He won’t come back in a couple of days.”

“Oh.”

“He misses you a lot,” he sighs. “He strides to me everyday to demand your whereabouts. Each time I wouldn’t tell him but he never learns. Vista says he’s on his 56th attempt the other day.”

The brief image of Ace that your mind comes up with brings a small smile to your face.

“When are you coming back?” Whitebeard breaks your reverie.

“Ah, I’m not sure yet… It might take a while.”

He hums. “So how are you? Have you been eating well?”

“I’m doing fine, Pops. No one’s been coming after me yet so everything’s going well,” you respond. “But… Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“There’s this island with people who haven’t eaten in so long so I gave them everything I have.” There’s a loud growl coming from Pops so you immediately continue your speech before he could scold you for doing such a thing. “I feel really good about what I did as they thanked me. But then the longer I thought about it, I started feeling ashamed because... wasn’t it selfish since I did it to make me feel better about myself? Then I started to wonder if it was wrong to do good things just because I wanted to be absolved of my parents’ sins. Was I wrong in doing this, Pops?”

“No, you did the right thing.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re not an inherently bad person for getting paid in gratitude.”

“But…”

“Making yourself happy by making other people happy is how it’s meant to work. If one of your key motives to doing good things is to feel good, then you’re still doing something good and there’s nothing shameful about that.”

Hearing his words puts you at ease. You’re glad you called him. “Thank you, Pops. I’m sorry for worrying everyone there and for disrupting Marco’s report. I promise I’ll call more often from now on.”

“It’s fine. Just don’t forget to take care of yourself too. Where will you be headed next?”

“I’m not sure. I’m just going where the sea leads me.”

“Be careful.”

“You too, Pops,” and with that, you bid your goodbye and hang up.

By morning, you start preparing your things to leave. You didn’t want to stay for too long because you didn’t want to consume even a portion of the small amount of food they have.

Sito offers you to stay another night, worried that it would be uncomfortable to sleep on a boat. “You can stay one more day. There’s still enough food for us to share.”

“Oh no, I don’t want to impose,” you decline. “But do you mind if I ask what happened here?”

There’s sadness in her eyes, it was easy to tell the memory pained her, but she tells you everything anyway. “This island is one of the few lawless areas in the world, hence, it’s a place where pirates would dock at. A group of men once docked here and kidnapped the leaders of our town. They were sold off to be slaves, because apparently the Nobles like to enslave people of power…” Her words start to fade on you upon the mention of the World Nobles.

Anger flares up in your system immediately. How low can the Celestial Dragons go? It’s sickening to think that you share the same blood as them. It’s because of this revelation that something becomes clear in your mind.

Ever since leaving Moby Dick, you’re just wandering aimlessly. But after hearing Sito talk about this island, you’re finally sure of what your destination should be.

Sabaody Archipelago.

Specifically, the Human Auctioning House.

From the sudden fury that overwhelms you, not even the fear of being within arm’s reach of the Marines, and possibly dying, could stop you from going there.

It’s reckless and foolish, but isn’t this the reason you left Moby Dick that night— to face your nightmares instead of running away from them?

You listen politely as Sito explains everything else but her words enter and leave your ears without you having to comprehend them. Fortunately, she doesn’t notice your inattentiveness, probably because she wants to pour her frustrations out to a stranger.

You offer your sympathies to her and promise her you’d come back with your crew and help them some more. It’s a simple promise yet for someone who hasn’t been offered help for so long, it means a lot, enough to even bring tears to her eyes. And just like that, you leave.

There are two more islands to stop at before you reach Sabaody Archipelago. You gather provisions on one island and buy explosives on the other.

The only thing you’re sure you can actually do alone is to blow up the Human Auctioning House. Facing the World Nobles is for another time, unfortunately. As for the Marines, well… You’d worry about that if they indeed come. You know you’d be able to handle them as long as they don’t send an Admiral after you.

The thing that worries you the most, however, is Pops’ reaction once you let him know of your plan. While you can always just not tell him, it feels wrong, and you promised you’d report to him, after all. And it’s hard for you to admit, but you secretly want to be saved in case your plan goes askew. That, and well, you still want to make up with Ace, may it be just strictly as friends, but preferably as lovers.

You decide to call once you’re about to set sail towards Sabaody Archipelago. You’re sitting in the middle of your boat, still anchored at the port when you told Pops your plan. And as expected, he’s mad.

He demands you to go back to the crew immediately. “Captain’s orders,” he says. But after a few moments, he retracts his words and says, “Your father’s orders.” You feel the weight of his words when he said that and you almost concede. But the faces of the slaves your family had flashes into your mind and it solidifies your decision.

Interestingly, despite the weeks you have spent away from the crew, their ship is nearer to you than anticipated. As confirmed by Pops himself when he angrily said, “Enough! I’m sending Ace to get you! Two or three days is enough for him to catch up with you.”

But quite frankly, that’s also enough time to execute your plan. And if the odds are in your favor, then Ace might just come in time for your escape.

Arriving at Sabaody Archipelago, you keep your face hidden underneath the hood of your cloak. It’s normal for pirates to walk around the place without having to hide their identities, but it’s a luxury you can’t afford. If someone catches wind that you’re here and reports it, the Cipher Pol just might come and capture you before you can even execute your plan. That just won’t do. So on the first day of your arrival, you only scout the area of the Human Auctioning House and retreat back to the inn you stay at.

You carry out your plan on the next day. You place a bomb where the side of the stage is supposed to be. It’s a distraction so people inside would leave the premises. The plan is to find the keys and free the slaves while the people are panicking from the explosion. Then eliminate the head of the place, Mr. Disco, and finally blow the place apart. It sounds simple but with you having to do all the work, you know it isn’t.

Now that you’re here, your nerves are spiking up. Arriving at the entrance of the building, you take a deep breath, your hand automatically reaching for the bracelet that Ace made you. It instantly calms you down.

It baffles you how fate works because on the very day you decide to free the slaves that are being sold off at the Human Auctioning House, Ace’s brother, Luffy — along with his crew — is at the same place to rescue their friend who was kidnapped.

Somehow even on a dangerous mission like this, there’s still something or someone who’d remind you of Ace. It makes you wonder: has he really embedded himself too deep into your life that there’s no escaping the thoughts of him? Not that you mind; the thoughts of him bring you peace, after all. But still, it’s fascinating that even in both mundane and dangerous settings, he makes himself known to you.

Upon entering the Human Auctioning House, everything happens so fast and unexpected. And quite frankly, a lot happened that wasn’t part of the plan.

Aside from finding the Straw Hat Pirates, you got yourself injured when you used your body to shield their fish man friend, Hatchi, from Saint Charlos’ gunshot. Then you confronted Saint Shalria personally despite you not planning to get involved with the Celestial Dragons. As for the slaves, it was the Dark King, Silvers Rayleigh, who actually freed them. The only things that you personally executed from your plan were Mr. Disco’s elimination and the bombing of the Human Auctioning House.

Escape is easy once the building starts to explode because the Marines would have to lessen the forces who're chasing after the pirates in order for them to successfully put out the fire. Without any Admiral on the scene yet, it’s not hard to slip away from them and/or fight them.

Even with the gunshot wound on your arm, you’re able to take down each and every one of the Marines who are chasing you. But halfway through your journey back to the grove where you left your boat at, you lose your adrenaline.

You start to feel the sharp and stinging sensation on your arm once again, yet, you couldn’t help but smile. You have gotten out alive. The slaves have been freed. With both Mr. Disco and the building gone, the Human Auctioning House will no longer be operational, or at least not yet until someone steps up. But that won’t be after a long time.

It’s a wonderful day.

You look up at the afterglow of the sunset with a serene smile. You have a feeling your nights are going to feel shorter now and less frightening than they were before.

Your peaceful moment is cut off by someone rather abruptly. You jump in surprise as someone wraps their arms around you from behind all of a sudden. “I finally caught up with you.”

Your breath hitches at the sound of the voice. “Ace? What are you doing here?”

He doesn’t answer your question, but he mumbles, “I’m sorry if I only came now. Pops wouldn’t tell me where you were, but I came as soon as I could.” Then he tightens his hug. “I was so scared, I thought I’d lose you…”

“Ace, I’m sorry about—”

“Hey, it’s on me, okay?” He interrupts. “I blew things out of proportion, and now you’re blue.”

You pull away from his hug to face him.

“Y-your arm! You’re bl-bleeding,” he stutters after seeing your injury.

But you pay no mind to that. “Ace… I’m really sorry about us—”

“Ssshhh, baby…” he rubs his hand on your back.

He looks at your figure carefully, focused on looking for any more bruises or wounds. When he doesn’t find anything more, he gently holds you by your waist. “Don’t blame yourself, I’m the one who burned us down, but… it’s not what I meant.

“It was all in my head, okay? It’s just that the Celestial Dragons are all grouped in my head as scums and that they’re inexcusable because… my brother was killed by a Celestial Dragon.”

A wave of guilt flows through your body, enough to weaken your knees. Before you could fall, however, Ace catches you and brings you to his chest. But this doesn’t stop you from sobbing on his chest. “I didn’t know, Ace. I’m so sorry.”

“No, that’s the thing, baby. It isn’t your fault. It wasn’t you who pulled the trigger. And… I have to admit I failed to see that at first,” he says as he hugs you tighter. “I shouldn’t have stood there frozen after you told me your story. I’m supposed to be the one who understands you...

“I’m not trying to make excuses and I’m not trying to make this about me but it’s just that… for so long I thought that I inherited the bad blood of my father, and I spent my lifetime failing to see that his sins aren’t my sins,” his voice cracks as he cries. “So when I found out about you… My mind automatically held you liable for the sins of the Nobles…

“But I talked to Pops and he straightened me up. I understand now. Our parents’ sins aren’t ours. It never was ours to begin with. So I’m sorry for blaming you for something you didn’t do…”

Ace stares at your crying form. He cups your face and sincerely says, “It’s so excruciating to see you low,” as he wipes the tears on your eyes. “I’m sorry if I hurt you…”

“It’s fine Ace, I forgive you. But…” You look directly into his eyes. “I’m at fault too,” you confess. “I was the one who left... I was so used to living like an island and isolating myself that it didn’t occur to me that I was punishing you with silence… I should’ve waited patiently for you but I ran away…”

Ace rubs your back gently and presses his forehead against yours, “I forgive you too.”

You smile in relief.

After a couple of minutes in silence, Ace tilts his head. “Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“Remember when you said that you saw daylight after sleeping in a long, dark night?”

You give him a curious look but nodded anyway.

“Beside wishing that I was there for you sooner, it had me thinking...”

“What?”

“Uhm… The world is terrible and cruel, and no one can ever really stop the dark nights from coming.”

You frown. You don’t really understand what Ace is trying to say.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is,” he rubs his neck while his cheeks starts to blush, “if you ever have to go through those dark nights, I wouldn’t want you to wait for daylight.

“I want to be there with you on those nights until they’re over. I don’t want to leave you when things get rough and only show up when you’re better. I know you see me as your daylight but I don’t want to be just that.”

His words warm your heart, and makes it skip a beat. “You know, Ace, there are remnants of light that linger in the sky even when the sun has long gone down and the night starts. It’s the afterglow,” you mumble.

“Yeah, but that goes away too after a while,” he frowns.

“Well, lucky for you the moon reflects the sun’s light during the night, huh?”

He grins. “Yeah, yeah. I like that. I want to be your source of light, may it be the daylight, moonlight, or the afterglow.”

A moment of silence engulfs the both of you. Under the soft afterglow of the sunset with your arms wrapped around each other, you feel at peace.

Once upon a time, you used to believe love is black and white— that it’s straightforward. It was either you love Ace or you don’t, there were no gray areas. No matter what he feels, says, or does, your love for him never ceases.

But then some other days you believed that love is burning red— that it’s full of passion, lust, and romance, much like the nights you spent entangled in the sheets with Ace.

However, right now in Ace’s arms, all you could ever think about is that love is golden. It was warmth and comfort, like what daylight brings. It was contentment and serenity too, much like the feeling of lightness one gets when seeing the afterglow of the sunset. Either way, it’s Ace who makes you feel those.

No matter what color love actually is though, for you it’s always embodied by Ace.

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whumblr · 3 years

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Drive

Home is where the hurt is: Part 1

With the softest gasp, Jay woke from his nap. For a second he wasn’t sure where he was, until the scenery that wooshed past reminded him he was on the way home with Dennis after a short research trip. It was quite a drive and he must’ve fallen asleep.

“Did I wake you? Bumpy road,” Dennis glanced at him.

“No,” Jay croaked, voice a little hoarse. He unfolded his arms and stretched them in front of him with a soft groan. It wasn’t the bumps in the road that woke him, he was quite sure it was because of the nightmare he just had that he startled awake.

Familiar banjo tunes of a once-liked song reached his ears.

And I’ll find strength in pain…

Yeah, no. He couldn’t handle Mumford right now. Without a word, he switched the radio channel.

“Thought you liked folk?” Dennis asked.

“Hm.”

“Hm?”

“Kinda loses its feel after you’ve had an actual noose around your neck while someone is singing that to you.”

For a second he saw Dennis tracing the lyrics mentally.

Then, slowly, very slowly, Dennis turned his head towards Jay.

“Eyes on the road, please,” Jay said staring dead ahead, expressionless, resting his head against the window.

“Jesus, fuck, Jay.”

“You wanted specifics.”

“Not while I’m driving, fuck.”

Before Jay could point out that yes, he should focus on the road instead of pondering over what he had just heard, Dennis took a sharp turn and promptly drove into the first available parking lot in front of some roadside coffee joint.

Apathy quickly shifted to worry.

“Den, wait—“

“Get out,” Dennis said firmly and swung the car door shut, already walking up to the entrance.

Jay closed his eyes for a second and cursed himself and his big mouth, reluctantly undid his seatbelt, and followed after Dennis, who just pointed to a table near the window without looking back and walked to service point.

While Jay was already trying to find the words to describe that ‘it wasn’t like that’, the silent treatment told him he should just be honest. That he couldn’t just drop a bombshell like that and ask Dennis to forget about it. Leaving it hanging would only have him imagine the worst, anyway.

“What, did he fucking hang you?” Dennis blurted out before he even sat down with the two mugs of coffee.

Funny how that was the exact same reaction Jay had when Zayne had explained his plan. And by funny he meant morbidly unfunny, really.

“Not exactly. He called it a stress position, do you kno—”

“I know what a fucking stress position is. I wrote that article on the conditions in those goddamn prison camps last year, remember?” As always when Dennis was upset, he talked so fast he almost stumbled over the words and it brought out a small hint of his Irish accent. Jay always liked hearing it, but it wasn’t worth angering Dennis…

Jay briefly wondered why he was upset really, though he also realised that he was already clamping up and trying to avoid this, which was reason enough after waving Dennis’ concerns away for months. He should’ve just kept his mouth shut. But he saw the worry behind his friend’s anger and Jay knew the anger was not directed at him. Well, maybe half, for hoping he could steer the conversation to another direction and Dennis wouldn’t let him.

“Right, well, that’s it really.”

“That’s not it, really.”

Memories of the event forced itself to the surface, emotions that he desperately tried to push back. He drummed his fingers against the mug of coffee, and after a silence he just said in a weak voice: “It was horrible.”

Dennis softened but didn’t speak yet, silence prompting Jay to continue.

“He did two. Two positions. Said they used it before to get… people to talk. Said it was easy.”

“At your place?!”

“He, erm… kidnapped me for a weekend? No, wait, I mean, wrong choice of words,” he quickly added as Dennis looked appalled. “I went voluntarily. Somewhat.”

Jay took a deep breath. Come on, just calm down or you’ll make it all even worse.

“It was horrible,” he whispered again and glanced around before he continued to make sure no one was around to hear. “It literally was a noose around my neck. And ropes keeping me stuck to the ground in a strained position. I could either choke or fight to get some air. The noose was tight enough whatever I tried and it was like I never got enough oxygen and I had to strain up to breathe and it just hurt and…” he paused and swallowed thickly. “Logically, I knew he wasn’t going to let me die. But then he started singing that stupid song. I will let you choke. And… well, I wasn’t that sure anymore.”

Jay told his friend about Zayne offering the two choices, though he stuck to the basics, never telling more than he needed.

Dennis cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry,” he said softly. “For dredging that up. But,” he tapped lightly on the table until Jay looked up, “thank you for telling me.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you—“

“I know.”

“It’s just…” Hard? He searched for the words.

“You hadn’t processed it yet.”

Jay shook his head.

“And now?” Dennis asked.

“I’m not gonna say it felt good to talk about it, but…” he shrugged and settled on just a “Yeah.”

They lingered for a bit, Dennis now rather absent, staring out the window, and Jay hoped he hadn’t shocked him into silence, but then he got up and said:

“Let’s go home.”

Tag list: @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @burtlederp @castielamigos-whump-side-blog @hurtmebeautifully @rougenoirofthepurpleterror @snuffhimout @susiequaz12 @mnmlover2002 @undertheburrow @whump-me-all-night-long @whumpinggoodtime @starnight-whump @rippedjeansandfadeddreams @im-just-here-for-the-whump @restrainthenmaime @freefallingup13 @whatwasmyprevioususername @myfriendcallsmeasickwoman19 @firewheeesky @redstainedsocks @myst-in-the-mirror @whumpawink @break-so-beautifully

#whump #aftermath of whump #caretaker #telling caretaker what happened #is there a tag for that...?#Jay #Dennis #Home is where the hurt is #hiwthi #hiwthi drabbles #my writing #yeahhh let's go home where someone is--oh

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x--daughters-of-darkness--x · 3 years

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Epica's Simone Simons: "We felt burnt out after The Holographic Principle"

Simone Simons looks back on the album that made Epica take a five-year break and a near-disastrous run-in with pyro

For almost two decades Simone Simons has been pushing boundaries with Epica, the symphonic metal heroes matching orchestral grandeur with high concept prog metal. With each new release pushing the band's artistry to new levels, its little wonder they have become steadfast heroes of the symphonic metal world, scaling back none of their conceptual ambitions whilst still exploring prog-death elements that maintain their ties to the underground.

The band's seventh studio album The Holographic Principle honed these elements to stunning effect, rewarding them with a top 10 charts placement in their native Netherlands when it peaked at No 4. Hammer spoke to Simone Simmons to find out just how they keep raisin their game...

The Holographic Principle was your seventh studio album. Does it get harder to keep raising your game?

“With each album, we challenge ourselves to become better musicians. Every album is a record in time of who we are at that moment, and The Holographic Principle was conceived during an extremely busy time in our career; in between touring we’d be in the studio, and on tour we’d be working on songs with our producer, Joost [van den Broek], who came with us so we could meet deadlines. So The Holographic Principle is a high-energy album – almost hyper-energetic! – but there are some awesome songs on it.”

There was a five-year gap after The Holographic Principle – a lengthy hiatus for Epica. What triggered that?

“We felt a little burnt out. We learned from The Holographic Principle that it was impossible to keep that up. We were like a machine, pooping out albums every two years and touring the world simultaneously! Some of us have kids now, so we all decided we wanted a little break from touring and songwriting with a deadline. That was the biggest thing that we learned; we were going at such high speed, it was getting a bit much.”

Which song are you most proud of, vocally?

“I really love the ballad Once Upon A Nightmare. When I wrote the lyrics, I had no clue what I was going to write about, and my husband said, ‘Why not draw inspiration from The Elder King?’ Which is basically a very dark fairy tale that describes this white creature taking away little children in the middle of the night. I became a mother after The Quantum Enigma [2014], and I thought, ‘I like [this song]’, but afterwards I was like, ‘No, I don’t like this! Now I’ve got to sing this song that’s reminding me of this creepy thing!’ But it’s art. All our music and lyrics are personal to a certain extent, but I had to disconnect from that in order to be able to put the right emotion into that song, but not make it too personal.”

What’s your standout memory of making The Holographic Principle?

“The timing of it was bad for me because I had a cold, so I was struggling with sniffles, but my voice was still powerful. Sometimes you get lucky – you get sick but you can still perform, and sometimes you feel good but the voice is gone. My most vivid memory was on the tour, when I was almost set on fire. It was in Tilburg during our 1,000th show, so of course we added pyrotechnics and all that great stuff. At the ending of the album’s title track there was a curtain of sparklers coming down, and I was standing right underneath it, singing away, thinking, ‘Why is my scalp burning?’ That was not so nice! But I enjoyed the whole cycle of the album; I could go crazy with outfits and make-up. Because ‘holographic’ is all the colours of the rainbow, I could go completely nuts!”

#Simone Simons #Epica #2021 interviews

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tonystarkbingo · 3 years

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3 Prompt Summaries Game

reunions, masks, body worship - suggested by @polizwrites

@polizwrites - Now that Rhodey was full time military, Tony hadn’t seen him in months. They made plans to meet up in Key West during Fantasy Fest — wearing masks (and very little else), they could finally indulge their own fantasy of being a couple in public.

@psychiccatpanda - Rhodey took the kids trick-or-treating on his own because Tony had been called away on business again. When they get back, Tony's home and has set the place up for a Halloween party for the kids and their friends. When the kids' friends go home and the lights go down, Rhodey takes his time welcoming his husband home.

@somesortofitalianroast - It was 5 years since Steve Rogers had last seen Bucky Barnes, when Barnes left in the middle of the night after they had sex for the first time, leaving the country the next day for a lucrative job, and Steve heartbroken. It had been several years since Steve had thought of Barnes, though he’d recognize the man anywhere, even behind a domino mask at a masquerade ball. Just seeing Barnes made his blood boil, and he wanted to charge across the ballroom, slap the man silly, and then worship every inch of the man’s body. Too bad he was at the ball with clients and there was no way he could do that without losing a very important contract.

@darthbloodorange - (ShrunkyClunks) - He waits in the shadows of an old warehouse, a mask obscuring his identity. No one could know he was here; not only would his reputation be tarnished, but that of the Avengers as their leader. But there was something about the dark assassin that drew him in. Barnes treated him like no other in this world. Treasured him, possessed him, worshipped him. Not like a hero as the world did, but as a man and lover.

Keep reading for lots more!

cookies, mermaid, dancing - suggested by @somesortofitalianroast

@somesortofitalianroast - Darcy didn’t bake for the Avengers all the time, and she never made her mermaid cookies, since they were complicated and she needed to pay attention to the details when icing them with fancy icing. So it was a big deal when she made them, the sort of thing that made you want to dance in the kitchen.

@gavilansblog - Luca AU where Tony introduces mer-people Steve and Bucky to cookies and dancing

@deehellcat - Morgan's eighth birthday party featured a mermaid theme, cookies with sparkly decorations, and dancing.

@psychiccatpanda - Bucky Barnes never dreamed he'd ever be put in charge of kids. Who'd want the Winter Soldier for a babysitter? But this little girl - Tony Stark's little girl - stared up at him, waiting for a reply.

He was pretty sure the last time he'd been this nervous was when he came back to the States after Wakanda. "Yeah, we can do that. Sounds like fun."

Which was how he found himself not-quite elbows deep in blue-green frosting for the ocean reef cookies they had baked (that he had baked) while Morgan spun around the kitchen dancing in her mermaid costume.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony looks at the tray of raw cookies in dismay. Whoever had designed the mermaid cookie cutter clearly had no concept of the baking skill of the average parent.

He had managed to press out all the pictures without causing more damage than the occasional lost arm or misshapen head (and a couple of 'defective' cookies are always required for taste-testing straight out of the oven). But the process of transferring the cookies from the bench to the tray had caused the raw dough to stretch and fold and tear; leaving figures better described as some sort of vaguely-humanoid aquatic eldritch horror...

Impatient, Morgan clambers onto her stool and gasps in delight. "Look, Daddy! The mermaids are dancing!"

@darthbloodorange - (Thundershield) - Thor set out on his boat to the middle of the lake. A smile on his face and a song on his lips. People feared the lake and the creatures that dwelled within. He didn't see why. Peering over the edge of the boat, he watched the mermaids dance. His eyes drawn to one in particular; the blond with the silvery-blue tail. He unwraps the cookies and sets them on the edge of his boat, hoping to draw the merman close again.

picnic, dragon, promises - suggested by @psychiccatpanda

@deehellcat - Steve and Bucky slip away from the village every chance they get to spend time together. Their favorite place to picnic is perilously close to a rumored dragon's lair, but they dare it for its beauty. imagine their surprise when one night as they stargaze and promise forever to each other, a dark shadow flies overhead then lands nearby. It's the legendary dragon, who greets them and offers to witness their solemn vows. (spoiler alert, the dragon is Tony, and I'm not sure what his relationship to them would end up being.)

@psychiccatpanda - Tony hated picnics. He'd been on so many for photo shoots with his mom and Howard, then for Stark Industries, and the occasional summer charity event. Picnics sucked. There was either too much sun or not enough, not to mention bugs, screaming kids, or other couples making out.

"You promised, Tony," the love of his life reminded him. "And I got you a surprise." The surprise was a kite in the shape of a dragon. Suddenly, the day was looking better.

@somesortofitalianroast - Steve was walking to a picnic on the beach when he found a baby dragon, abandoned on the side of the road. He picked it up, intending to take it to the local fantasy animal shelter, but as soon as he touched it, he knew he would never be able to let it go. Which is why he was standing on the dunes, murmuring promises to the dragon in his arms.

@rebelmeg - pepper sighed. "tony, you promised you were gonna stop doing that." pointedly looking away from her, the red and gold dragon roughly the size of a large dog pointedly opened his mouth, and stuffed the donut hooked on his claw inside. puffs of smoke emitted from his nostrils and he chuckled in a rough, growly way when a sandwich in a baggie smacked him in the back of the head.

"we're never going on a picnic when you're shifted again, this is ridiculous."

@darthbloodorange - (Stucky, Fantasy AU) - Steve walks up to the den of the dragon; his once best friend and lover. Baskets of meat in hand, and his heart weighted heavily in his chest. He'd kept his promise for over 70 years, and he wasn't about to break it now. "Bucky, it's me. I know you remember me. You're in there somewhere, I feel it," he says in his elvish tongue. Within the den comes a mighty roar, seeming to shake the very core of the mountain. But Steve is not dissuaded.

bread, defenestration, jingle - suggested by @rebelmeg

@rebelmeg - standing at the window and very calmly eating her sandwich, natasha watched as clint climbed out of the bushes underneath and went streaking for the street, where an ice cream truck was driving past. the second he'd heard the jingly song, the idiot had flung his own sandwich in the air and literally dove out the window. wondering if he'd realize he didn't have any money on him, nat smirked.

@psychiccatpanda - (WinterIronHawk implied) To be fair, Clint had not thought about 'costume integrity' or the fact that the Christmas elf pajamas did not count for much in the way of bodily protection. On the other hand, though, he'd just been planning on eating as much of the freshly baked panettone bread as Bucky let him get away with while they waited for Tony to get home. Getting thrown through the window of Tony's Malibu house by some Hydra experiment had not been on his radar at all. (Not Bucky - to be completely clear, he was cute and Clint didn't think mean things about people who baked him a nigh-endless quantity of sweets.) At least he managed to keep the hat with its little bell that jingled cheerfully as Clint sailed through the air.

@darthbloodorange - Stony (probably a 5+1 fic) - Tony frowns as the familiar jingle of his phone drew him away from kneading his sourdough. He groans when he sees who it was that was calling. He nearly doesn't answer, but Barnes almost never calls, so curiosity gets the better of him. "Stark," the man greets, voice as gruff as ever. "What do you want?" he grumbles. "Arm's acting up again. Accidently threw your husband out a window. He's hanging on about the 26th floor? Thought you should know." "Damn it!" Tony cries, armour assembling around him quickly. He wishes this was the first time Barnes' arm had thrown an Avenger out the window... but it wasn't.

@lbibliophile-mcu - Tony likes bread as much as the next guy, but he is this close to swearing off the stuff entirely. He tenses as Clint moves behind him, his humming looping into yet another round of the jingle for the local bakery. He snaps. "Clint! If I hear another note I swear I will throw you out this window! And not send the suit after you." Clint grins, opens his mouth and... shuts it again. Silent.

Werewolves, Gardening, Hurt/Comfort - suggested by @darthbloodorange

@somesortofitalianroast - (preserum!steve/werewolf!bucky) When he moved into the house, Steve was looking forward to growing a garden, with a large vegetable patch, all the herbs, and some flowers for the colors. He wasn’t expecting to get overheated. He certainly wasn’t expecting the werewolf to bound out of the woods to take care of him. He’d think he imagined the entire thing, except the werewolf stuck around. Still taking care of him.

@tehroserose - Steve and Tony had retreated into the woods. Obadiah had taken over Tony's birthright, and Hydra had encroached on Steve's home of Brooklyn. They met there, and lived off their wits. Tony did most of the smithing for the various exiles, while Steve gardened vegetables that were rare and valuable. They were content, and while they wished they could save their homelands, there was no real hope of doing so. No hope until one night, when Steve was doing one last check of the garden before going to sleep, he found a big, bleeding wolf.

@rebelmeg - "right here, honey," pepper pointed to a spot in the dirt, and tony padded over, pawing at the spot a few times before starting to dig. "yep, that's enough." she stopped him when the hole was deep enough, then held out a hand for the flower morgan had cupped in her hands, cradling the ball of roots and dirt with care. "see, now it's perfect! you wanna take a ride on daddy now, morgan? i think he's getting bored with gardening."

"yeah!" morgan jumped up with a shout, and scrambled up onto the werewolf's back with no problems. "go, daddy, go!" with a woof, tony took off at a run, morgan holding tight to his fur as she giggled, and pepper smiled as she watched them. tony hated going through a transformation during the full moon, the pain of it pretty extreme, but they'd found a lot of ways to make up for it.

@psychiccatpanda - Tony had avoided Barnes since Steve had brought him to the compound. The werewolf had done the same. Howard hadn't had anything good to say about weres in general, but everyone knew wolves were the worst. It was part of the reason that part of the Avengers had been politely asked to leave Wakanda. Opening the door to his patio, Tony caught the shine of eyes and Barnes scrambled back from what he'd been doing. Tony scanned the patio and only saw a trowel, some loose dirt, and a flat of plants - wolfsbane. "Doesn't that stuff give you blisters or something?" Tony asked, knowing that it was probably true. "How about you come in and wash your hands and tell me what you're up to."

@darthbloodorange - (Ults Stony) - After Steve is infected with Lycanthropy, Tony took him to one of his parents' houses out in the country. Everyone expected Steve would get over it, given time, as he did with the vampirism. But the lycanthropy sticks, appearing to have fused with the serum. While SHIELD's scientists look into a cure, Tony stays with Steve. Growing bored of the overly-manicured, emptiness that was the green fields surrounding the country house, Steve takes up gardening as his current mission. Tony watches, completely enthralled, as Steve slowly transforms the area around the house.

letter, basket, book - suggested by @rebelmeg

@jamesbuckystark - Someone left a basket on Tony's doorstep containing a book, a map, and a magnifying glass. Inside the book was a letter dated 1942. He's curious to find out what this means

@tehroserose - Morgan put down the letter. It was the last one. Her father had written her one for every birthday and potential special occasion. This one was for when she became a mother. She couldn't have them hidden away, they were on a basket on her dresser in her room, but that didn't make them any less bittersweet. He left her behind. To save the world, but he had left her.

She went to sit in the rocking chair next to her child's crib and began to read the children's story her mother had allowed all those years ago. "Iron Man and the End of Thanos". Any children she had would know their grandfather.

@somesortofitalianroast - When Bucky decided to become a librarian, he thought it would give him access to all the books all the time, in exchange for maybe some shelving. He didn’t realize how much work went into collections development and management, nor how much time was spent looking books up for patrons on their own system when asked if the library had a particular book. Boring and frustrating. He just had to stick it out until he paid off the worst of his student loans. Until the day the letter arrived on his desk, sitting next to a gift basket from a local fancy food store. A letter letting him know that the gift basket was from his secret admirer.

@jacarandabanyan - After waking from the ice, Steve took to reading voraciously to catch up on what he'd missed. Despite Tony's offers, he never did come around to a screen reader, though, and instead opted to keep a pile of books on his bedside table. When the pile of books got too big, he had a whicker basket to put the overflow in.

Tony feels like the two of them can't have a conversation outside the heat of battle without devolving into arguments and personal attacks, so he takes to slipping notes into Steve's books. Over time, the notes get longer and longer, until it would be more proper to call them letters than notes.

@rebelmeg - tiny!tony is digging through a basket of new books the jarvises got him, a mix of kids books and textbooks and novels. as he digs, one of the books falls open, and out falls an envelope. the letter inside seems to be written in code... but he's also pretty sure that's his mama's handwriting. a grin spreading across his face, he sits down next to the basket and starts working out the code.

@darthbloodorange - (Stucky? Witch/Fantasy AU?) - Steve sits in his chair by the window and opens his favourite book. With careful hands, he pulls out the letter from his mother, which he'd been using as a bookmark, and carries on where he'd left off. Library, his familiar, jumps from her basket into his lap and curls up, butting her head against his hands. Despite the warmth and happiness he felt here, it wasn't complete. A part will always be missing until Bucky returns.

@psychiccatpanda - Whoever had suggested they stay at this rickety, 'quaint' seaside hotel had apparently never seen any island murder movies ever, Tony thought with disgust. The wood floors creaked and the building made weird noises at night. Combined with the crashing waves, it was not what Tony called relaxing. Somebody knocked and Tony assumed it was the room service snack he'd ordered. Instead, he found a basket with a book tucked inside. Agatha Christie's And Then There Were None.

"That's not ominous," Tony muttered to himself, flipping through the pages. Then he saw the letter tucked inside.

#tonystarkbingoflash2021 #tsbflash2021 #tsb discord party #3 prompt summaries #party game

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payasita · 4 years

Note

baby hornet is fluffy fuel for my heart pal. Im scared to ask but curious to see if you can give baby hornet angst?

The first plague funeral had been a day-long affair, though Hornet had been too young to remember much of it.

A family took to the emergent sleeping sickness and all died within a day of each other, in a drawn out procession that their neighbors had described hearing as “a week of wailing done in shifts”. Hornet hadn't known these people, and neither did mother, but they were both present for the interring as Princess and Queen.

After that, the funerals became common. Hornet would be in attendance for one at least once a week. They started changing, slowly. The ceremonies would be for many at a time, and guests would be fewer and fewer in attendance, kept home either by fear, or growing apathy, or by themselves falling to sleep. The Weavers presiding with song and eulogy spoke less prettily, and then less at all, and then not at all.

They eventually started the hurried practice of cocooning bodies and throwing them to a mass pit. And when that got too full, they began throwing them to the Nosk. And when that became too dangerous, they began melting them with venom, or burning them at a high point in the den where the smoke would be ventilated into the neighboring territories. The smell was of sneeze and sugary bile and burning hair.

(Hornet would not ever forget it. It would come to her, unwanted, in late nights when she couldn't sleep, and when she tried to remember which of her friends and which of her mother's Devout had been taken when the names started to fade. When names escaped her completely, the smell still wouldn't.)

Her mother eventually stopped having her come to the funerals. Just gradually less at first, as fears rose. Mother had assured Hornet that she would never get sick. Neither of them would, but Hornet was uniquely protected, she said, by special providence.

(Hornet did not know her father well. She'd met him a few times. He'd looked very cold in his robes, and had very sad eyes that stared at everything but her.)

The incident that caused Herrah to finally ban Hornet from the funerals altogether was when one of the cocoons suddenly split open from the inside, and orange goop leaked out like albumen from an egg. The body encased in it twitched, and then crawled out shaking, wheezing in breaths that choked out from its book lungs in fat bubbles.

It had looked at Hornet. Its eyes had been swollen near to bursting, and glowed with that chemical orange which leaked from the young spider's face as snot and drool and tears and blood gone thick to run like molasses.

Four of the nearest spiders wasted no time in impaling it and crushing it over and over until long after the rattling ceased. Herrah had not been fast enough in covering Hornet's eyes and pressing her head into her shoulder to spare her all of the sight. Herrah had not been successful at all in sparing her any of the sounds. Hornet would be kept home for a few days, and she would see no more funerals.

It wasn't the sickness itself that worried the child. It wasn't even the zombies. It was how often mother would start leaving her with Midwife. It was how scared everyone else seemed to be. It was the realization that when mother one day fixed this with her bravery, she too would fall asleep and not wake up.

That was long in the future. It had to be. It had to.

But why did it have to be sleep?

In her dreams, she saw orange glow under her mother's mask, and she smelled rot and sugar. Midwife would let her sleep in her den every night, after those became regular. Something so big and dangerous to protect the child in her coils was a great comfort when Hornet woke up crying. But she still wished it was mother.

Hornet did not like to sleep. She wished no one ever had to again. She began fussing whenever mother or Midwife would try and send her to bed.

One evening, with mother, she just started screaming and fighting. She did not want to go to sleep. She did not want to go to sleep ever again. She did not want mother to ever go to sleep again.

Mother had been tired. She had just dragged Hornet to her room, and told her to stop being difficult, to just be good, to just go to bed.

When Hornet didn't stop, she gave up, and told her, "Fine, then, I am going to bed. You can just sit here by yourself until you're done," and had tried to leave.

The screaming turned from angry to frantic. Hornet had wanted to clutch her, but mother had looked upset before, and so she went instead to clutch her own cloak, and cried out "No" over and over until it dissolved into sobbing.

Mother did not leave, then. She had quickly knelt close, confirmed Hornet would let herself be touched, and soothed her with a hand up and down her back and quiet shushing.

"No, shh. It's alright. I'm here, you're alright."

"Don't go to sleep--!"

"I won't yet. It's okay. Come here, it's okay."

She'd held her, then, and stayed with her, rocking and gentling until both the tears and the words she half spoke through uncontrollable hiccups quieted. Hornet clung tight, face buried in the cloth draping over her mother's horns and shoulders and ruining it with tears.

Weavers wove pretty songs. There weren't many Weavers anymore. But mother said she remembered all of them, and would ensure that their art lived on. The song she sang to Hornet that night would live forever in her own mind. And sometimes when she sang it to herself on other nights like this, it would keep the dreams away, and she could sleep alone without so much fear.

That night, though, she could only sleep in her mother's arms. It would not be the last time. But when she dreamt, the crawling spider with the eyes filled to dangerous levels of pressure told her that the last time was coming fast, and that she would inherit everything, like mother wanted. "Health to the Princess, wealth to the Princess," it would say.

In her dreams, its face would eventually cave in on its own before she woke. This repeated for some nights until Hornet realized she could kill it again herself.

#hollow knight #this one could be canon compliant #drabble #anon #not gonna lie i didnt initially wanna do this one too badly but then i read the ask again and you worded it like a challenge #'CAN i do angst?'#'oh well shit. **I** know i can do whatever i want but do THEY?? time to prove it'#no forreal tho thank u for the rq #uhhh canon typical body horror sorry i remembered to tag that so late #and death. theres death

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edyacouky · 3 years

Text

What an Alpha is

Can be read on AO3

***

Jason has realized quickly that what he want, what he is, isn’t normal. He has realized that before his research for his biological mom. Sometimes, he thought that Bruce and Alfred were family and they loved him. Sometimes he remembered what a great liar they were, all his future depended on them. Sometimes he remembered hos he loved Willis, how he loves Catherine and forgiven Sheila. No matter how much he loved them, he never trusted them with all his soul and heart. Finally he takes his secret on his grave.

Literally.

But now he feels better. Sort of.

Many things happen since his resurrection. But the only person knowing Jason’s secret is Essence.

Jason can’t really explain why. Essence has the same secondary gender as Jason, who is an alpha. She is raised by a culture different from Jason but with cliché about gender too.

When Jason let Essence know, he didn’t expect her to understand or being accepted. But she was.

As much Jason was relieved then, he is still scared that someone knows the true.

Many things happen since Essence.

Now Jason is happily in a relationship with Roy, an omega.

Jason is truly happy, more that he can remembered. And Roy must be too since he didn’t dumped him, yet.

Sex is good too. Jason makes sure of that. Doing like every intercourse may be the last one. Like he fears they could be. And since Roy initiate many time, Jason must succeed. But the true, like his fears, never disappears.

He does his best to fight the thought that harass him, but sometimes he lost.

This time is one of them.

Roy isn’t at home. He shouldn’t come back for a few days. So Jason thinks he is sage enough to succumb. He puts the box that he hides in one of his room walls. He cuts the security while his heart is beating cray. He can’t believe he will finally do it. It’s been months, almost a year.

There is his collection of sex toy in the box.

No fake cunt or anything else alpha are traditionalism portray use it.

There is dildo from different size, color and brand with different option.

Jason almost throw himself on the biggest Bad Dragon he has, then he stops when he see the dildo he brought one time on a space mission. Jason still doesn’t know who invent it and how it works, but this things is wild enough that it provokes Jason’s rut every time, no matter where on his cycle he is.

He had to take a deep breath. It’s been almost a year since he had the audacity to even fingered himself. He has to play soft, at least at first.

His eyes fall on a smaller and less crazy dildo. Its shape make him of Roy’s dick.

Thinking of his mate, guilt submerge him. He hates hide a part of him to Roy, even if it’s just a kinky part of him.

But his biological father’s voice, his old friend's, even Bruce’s friend’s voices remind him that he is abnormal.

An alpha who loves takes it in his ass, he is not a real alpha, neither can be a good mate.

And Jason want to be good, especially for Roy. It’s not like he want Roy to have a different secondary gender or change his.

He imagine Roy fucking him with his dick, how they can play together with a double penetration dildo.

Fuck all this asshole voices, but mostly fuck him.

Horniest is stronger that shame and he takes the smaller dildo.

Once he will have calmed the urge he could become again a good mate for Roy

***

Roy come back much earlier than he expected from his mission. Not that he is disappointed by that, quite the contrary. He missed Jason so much.

He realizes once in the front door that he didn’t warn Jason like he wanted. He can only hope that his mate will be at home.

All the tiredness he feels flies away when he smell sex. No other smell that his mate, so he is absolutely turn on.

“Jaybird.” He sing song while approaching the room

What he sees is so marvelous that he doesn’t believe it at first.

He won’t going to lie, he sometimes imagine fucking Jason. Who could blame him? But Jason never seems interested and Roy didn’t want him to feel pressure to do anything.

But now!

Now that he saw Jason ridding a really monstrous dildo, one of his hand gripping hard the headbed, surrounded by used dildo on their bed, the most illogical part of his omega brain whispers:

“Damn, I want carry his children.”

Not gonna happen if he does the fucking. He just can’t help but always have this though when he is really horny.

Without getting the time to think, Roy join Jason on their bed.

“Jaybird.” He whispers in his ears before kissing him deeply and caressing his fabulous thigh

Jason shivers but kiss him back with abandonment

At first.

As suddenly as unreal everything has been for Roy since he comes back, Jason pushes him violently, making him fall out the bed.

Roy realizes that the fact that Jason wanted alone sex time doesn’t mean that Roy can join him without making sure Jason want him to.

But before he could apologies, the room reek of fear and anger.

The look on Jason’s face freezes Roy.

The betrayal, the terror, the hate.

Roy was hoping fucking Jason, but it seems he fuck it.

“I…

-Get out!”Jason yells using his deep alpha voice

Jason never use it on people he loves, because he knows how you can feel miserable and afraid, even if it may be illogically, when this voice is used.

And damn! Roy feels miserable.

Jason deserves the world, and Roy want to give it to him.

Roy crawls to the bed, to Jason, showing him his neck with pitiful moans. He need to apologies.

But Jason pushes him again, repeat his order with more strength and baring his teeth.

Roy have to admit that he has to back off if he really want things to cool off.

He really, really doesn’t like that but submit.

Carefully he leaves the room and starts pacing in their living room.

He repeats his apologies in his head.

He keep questioning why Jason react so violently.

It’s happened before that Roy or Jason had an alone time and the other want to join. A simply “No” was always enough.

He realizes that he never saw this sex toy before, never Jason shares any interest to play with his hole.

He repeats his apologies in his head.

He start questioning if Jason is attracted by omega. Did he accept this relationship because Kory was part of it at first? Did he keep it because deep down he is afraid of being alone? Or did Roy do or say something that makes Jason thinks he can’t share it with Roy?

He realizes he is waiting for Jason for too long when his stomach starts asking to be fulling.

Roy isn't surprised when he realizes that Jason run away. He is disappointed and terrified.

He hopes that their relationship isn’t over.

***

When Bruce walks in front of Jason’s old room door, he is not surprised when he smells his son’s odor.

Until he remembers that Jason’s smell changed drastically after … everything that happen after Ethiopia.

And he doesn’t smell only the faint old smell of his son, but also loud new Jason’s smell.

He frowns.

He doesn’t remember a time where Jason sleep in here since …

The rare time Jason sleep in the Manor, they open him a new room.

He opens carefully the door.

Jason is hiding, Bruce doesn't know how else describe it, under his sheet. His hairs aren’t visible.

“Jason?” He says quietly

He miss calling him Jaylad, but it feels wrong for now.

Jason groans but doesn’t move.

“Are you ok, Jason?

-I am here. What do you think, Greatest Detective in the World?

-That something really awful must happen to you if you came to your childhood den to have comfort.”

Jason scoff.

“I am here because no one will search me here.”

That’s still hurt to realize that one of his pups doesn’t feel safe in the Manor, that Jason is right when he say no one will search him here.

But worry hits him when he realizes that something awful happen.

“What happen?

-Like you care.

-I do! Jason, tell me what happen.

-Why? So you can make it all about yourself.

-What if I promise to shut up while you will take?”

Jason’s head perk up and he glares at Bruce, judging him.

“I shouldn’t have been resurrected.”

First shot and Jason aims directly to the heart.

Bruce wants to argue with Jason, yells at him for daring saying it.

But he recognizes this light in Jason’s eyes. He test him.

Bruce takes a deep breath, keeps his scent has calming and safe as possible.

“Why do you think that?

-Because it’s true. Jason says with vulnerability. I’m not a good alpha.”

Bruce frowns, doesn’t understand why Jason may think that. Jason never seems like the kind of people who care about what a second gender should be.

And Jason is a good alpha. He is protective of people he considers part of his pack, he is fearless warrior, he is a good provider. He is always more than happy to help and cook for everyone.

“You are a good person, Jason. Bruce tries hoping he doesn’t make Jason angry. So of course you’re a good alpha.

-You don’t understand.” Jason grumble and hide again

Bruce groans and rolls his eyes. And society think that omega are the moody one.

“I can’t understand if you don’t explain it to me.” Bruce argues

Per chance he promised to shut up. Jason will avoid the Manor again for at least a few weeks and Alfred will be super pissed at him.

There is a long silence where Bruce expect Jason too suddenly leave, even punches him. But finally Jason sit down and with spite simply says:

“You can’t be more ashamed of me and I am not your child anymore any way.”

Bruce immediately want to argue. Jason should talk to him because he feels safe and loved, not because their relationship is so bad that he have nothing to lose.

“I am a fucking faggot.” Jason drops

Bruce frowns. It is not a word Jason use and he does that now to qualify himself.

“Why did you say that?

-Because it’s true. I can’t be with Roy now that he knows.

-I don’t think that you cheated on him. And I was sure that you loved Ollies’s omega. So … what happen?”

Jason mumble something, his face tunrs red.

“Do you cheat on him?

-No! Of course no! I will never do that!

-Aren’t you in love with him? Do you want to be in relationship with an alpha?

-No! Jeez, Bruce, you have no idea how much I love him! He will break up with me anyway.”

Bruce tries to pick up the piece together but the clues don’t help him understand the situation.

“Roy will break up with you because you are not straight?

-Yes! An alpha that like take it in his ass, is not a real alpha, he is not a good mate!”

Bruce blinks rapidly. Like … what?

“Everyone knows that! Jason tries to defend himself

-Well everyone is stupid.”

Jason groans and get up.

“I don’t know what I was thinking, coming here.

-Jason please wait …

-No. I need to talk to Roy. Sooner the better. See you next time B.”

And just like that Jason leaves.

And just like that Bruce feels he let him down once again.

***

Jason doesn’t really know what he expect when he come back to his home.

Maybe Roy take this things and leave, blocking his phone number. Jason will understand if he does. But it’s not Roy’s style do to that.

“Roy.” He call hims

He doesn’t see him in the living room nor the kitchen.

Blushing he goes to their bedroom. Roy has tidy up his sex toy. Knowing that Roy clean them and put them back in their box is so embarrassing. Bu he doesn’t know if he could have endure seeing them spread out and dirty on his bed.

After looking in the bathroom, Jason is sure that Roy isn’t here, but his things are still there.

In desperation, Jason sit on the couch playing with his phone. He should apologies for using his alpha voices and running away, but what if Roy had blocked his phone number?

Damn, why can’t he have more self control?

He start thinking where could be Roy and who he should call if Roy really block him.

Suddenly the front door open and Roy appears.

“Yeah thanks. I already went there. Tell me if you …”

Roy finally see Jason and smile at him.

“No forget what I told you. It’s ok now. Yeah, I will call you later.”

Without letting Jason time to apologies, Roy sit down on the couch next to him.

“You came back. And only after a few hours.

-Yeah, I start getting better at that.”

There is a silence where neither of them don’t know what to say.

“I am sorry.”

Jason frowns and argues:

“You have nothing to apologies for…

-Of course! I should ask you if I can join you and not assume…

-Roy….please stop...It’s not for that I freak out…

-Is not?”

Jason shakes his head and takes a deep breath.

“I am the one you should apologies. I shouldn't use the alpha voice. It was a shitty thing to do and I am sorry.

-Honestly I was more surprised. I really freak you out didn’t I?

-No...I mean...sort of. But it’s not an excuse and I am sorry.

-What do you mean by “sort of”?”

Jason tuck his sleeve and bit his tongue.

“I never want you to see me like that.

-Like that?

-I really love you and want to be a good mate to you. I am sorry I disappointed you.

-Disappointed me? Hold on. Can we rewind?”

Roy stand up and start to pace trying to understand what’s going on since he came back from the mission.

“Ok so first thing first, did I like that you used you alpha voice? No, but I am not disappointed in you. And why shouldn’t I think that you aren’t a good mate?

-You saw what I did! I am a freak, you can tell it!

-What you did?”

Roy rethink what he saw in the room. The only thing he was disappointed it’s how it ended. He really feels blessed to have saw Jason so debauched playing with himself like that.

“The sex toy, Roy! Jason yells impatient blushing furiously. I put it in my ass!

-Oh yeah, that was really hot.

-What?

-I mean I would have loved participate of course. I am on board with that too. But I won’t be disappointed if you like doing it alone or only with alpha or male beta. You respect my limit, I will respect yours.

-You are not disgusted?

-Wow! How did we go to disappointed to disgusted? No I am neither of them.

-Really?

-Really.”

Jason feel like he can finally breath. When Roy sit down against him again, Jason kiss him tenderly. He start crying too, but he feels too much joy and relief.

“Are you alright?

-Yeah I’m good. I just … I just open about it only with one person, I was always so afraid to be see as less alpha. Thank you Roy.

-I love you Jason. I won’t think less of you because of that. But I still have some question.”

Jason sight but smile.

“Shoot.”

Roy takes Jason’s hand in his and look at him even if Jason avoid his eyes.

“Do you love omega? Roy finally ask

-Is that a trick to ask me if I love you?

-Maybe. Sort of. Do you?”

Jason finally look at him with so much sorrow, it provokes Roy a twinge.

“I do. Jason caress tenderly Roy’s cheek. More than any word or act can prove you.”

Damn Roy fall in love with Jason everyday.

They kiss slowly, tenderly. Things aren’t always easy but they are so happy they have found each other.

“I am sorry I make you doubt that.

-I am just glad we clear it up.”

They kiss again.

“Do you have anymore question?

-Well I have one more question in mind. Roy says playfully. Next you play with your dildo - you have a really impressive collection if I can say it -…

-Asshole.

-Can I participate or … at least watch it?”

Jason close his eyes and bites his lips but smiles.

His cheeks turn beautifully red.

“I really love the idea of you being a really active participant.

-But…?

-I had sex with just one alpha before and I never do more with anyone less. So I want it but … Can we take it slowly?

-Of course we can, baby.

-I may freak out again.

-You may. But it’s not a big deal. You are here for me, I am here for you. We are partner in every sense of the word.

-Love you.

-Love you too.

-By the way, who did you warn about my running away?

-Artemis and Bizarro.

-You realize they will kick my ass?

-Don’t worry my alpha. I will protect you.”

The end.

#DC comics #jayroy #Jason Todd #roy harper

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