#diary in the tags!! questions still stands though how is everyone!!

[fastasyoucan1999]

at the end of every day it’s like… well i could have been a little kinder. and then tomorrow i try to be a little kinder and by the end of the day it’s like. well i could have been a little kinder and it goes on and on forever

[minor-solemnity]

To Be a Seer pt.5

Tag List: @jinxqsu @naps-and-lemons @riddles-wifey @mainlynonsense @cakesarecute @crumpets-are-better-with-jam @empath-bunny

You’re not naive enough to believe that Tom doesn’t have his own motivations, that he isn’t pulling the strings of public opinion for his own ends, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re interested. The mystery he presents, the truth of who and what he is… And maybe this is naive of you, but everything you’ve Seen has related to him and you refuse to believe that that doesn’t matter. Your finely honed instincts for self-preservation have well and truly flown out of the window when it comes to Tom.

He is, quite literally, your dream boy. Of course, you’re going to throw caution to the wind

There have been no new petrifications in the three weeks since you ran into Riddle outside the Prefects’ bathroom. You would have hoped that the lack of new attacks would do something to calm the student populace down a little, but it seems the opposite is true. The atmosphere in the corridors and the Great Hall is tense and uncomfortable. It’s as though everyone is waiting on tenterhooks for something to happen. Even the professors, who are all trying to put on a brave facade, are concerned. Your Heads of Houses have taken to sitting in on prefect meetings, reminding you all that it’s your job to make sure the rest of the students are safe. Despite the vastness of the castle and grounds, Hogwarts feels claustrophobic.

It’s at one of these meetings, on an otherwise nondescript Monday evening, that Dumbledore asks you to stay behind. You can’t quite hide the mix of surprise and reluctance that crosses your face at his request, though Dumbledore just continues to smile in that slightly unsettling way of his. You think of the way he’s looked at you in the past, as though he can see through all your defences and knows that you’re hiding something. He looks at you as though he doesn’t trust you. You’ve never liked being looked at like that, especially by someone for who you’ve never given any reason to doubt your integrity.

Next to you, Riddle stiffens slightly in his chair and you don’t like that either. Because this is real. Everything up until this point, you could minimise and justify. You’ve been tricking yourself into complacency for weeks, months even, why both telling the professors your suspicions about Tom when you don’t have proof?

You nod mutely and stay behind whilst everyone else files out of the room. Once you’re alone, Dumbledore smiles. “Please, take a seat, I wouldn’t want you to get sore feet, heaven knows that is an ailment that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.” You sit down and he stays standing, and, whilst his posture is casual, hands clasped in front of him, the height difference makes you feel anxious, like a small child about to be chastised. “Now, I imagine you’re wondering why I wanted to talk with you?” You nod and he smiles, “An easy question to answer, I’m glad to say. I’m wondering how you’ve been since the day we found poor Miss Wheatley. I apologise for not checking in on you sooner, though I daresay, young Mr Riddle has been making his shoulder available to cry on, should you need it.” You don’t miss the way his gaze sharpens at the mention of Riddle’s name.

Whatever he might say, you’re certain that Dumbledore doesn’t care about how you’re holding up. He suspects something, and his mention of Riddle makes you worry that he suspects that the two of you are in cahoots. The thought would be laughable except… Well, you’ve been keeping his secret for him, haven’t you? You could have gone to Dumbledore at any point and told him what you know. He’d believe you. He’s probably the only member of staff that isn’t fooled by the act that Riddle puts on.

This is your chance. Your chance to come clean and stop all this madness.

“Tom’s been very helpful,” Is what you end up saying. You don’t meet his gaze but your voice doesn’t waver either. “He’s, ahh, really made me feel quite looked after.” And the thing is, you’re not lying. Even if his motivations are suspicious, he has looked after you and made you feel oddly safe. You’re not sure what to think of it. Judging by the darkness that flashes ever so briefly across Dumbledore’s expression, he isn’t either.

There’s something about the way that he watches you - congenial and sympathetic - that you neither like nor trust. “Trust is a wonderful and strange thing - it can help build even the most difficult of bridges. You two have grown quite close, haven’t you?” You frown at the question and have half a mind to tell him that it is entirely inappropriate to ask about one’s students’ dating habits. More than that, it feels like he’s speaking in innuendo, every word out of his mouth has a double meaning and whilst you can’t figure out what he’s trying to tell you, you’re fairly certain that it’s nothing good.

“I guess you could say that, Professor.” You try to keep your answer as vague as possible because you know what people are saying, you know that the rumour mill has gone into overdrive regarding you and Riddle. There are plenty of girls in Hogwarts who would try anything to snag a date with him but until now, Riddle has shown little interest in anyone. The fact that he is displaying such outward devotion to you speaks volumes to anyone paying attention. You’d be lying if you said that it didn’t make your pulse quicken, didn’t send a fission of fire - too fierce and feral to be considered innocent, down your spine. You’d be lying if you said that there isn’t a part of you that enjoys the attention, enjoys the way he looks at you like he doesn’t quite understand you but wants to.

You’re not naive enough to believe that Tom doesn’t have his own motivations, that he isn’t pulling the strings of public opinion for his own ends, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re interested. The mystery he presents, the truth of who and what he is… And maybe this is naive of you, but everything you’ve Seen has related to him and you refuse to believe that that doesn’t matter. Your finely honed instincts for self-preservation have well and truly flown out of the window when it comes to Tom.

He is, quite literally, your dream boy. Of course, you’re going to throw caution to the wind.

Your brevity doesn’t seem to bother him and you’re unsure if that’s a good thing or not. You don’t have time to overthink the issue though, because Dumbledore asks, “Before I bid you goodnight, is there anything else you wish to talk with me about?” He lowers his head slightly as he talks like he’s trying to catch your gaze, and you’re not sure why but you feel goosebumps prick your skin and the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. You keep your eyes averted, directed just beyond his left shoulder, counting the cracks in the stone walls as you attempt to keep your nerves in check.

You push yourself up from your chair and turn to walk towards the door. “No, Professor. Like I said, I’ve been doing alright and Tom is just looking out for me.” It feels foreign and strange, though not necessarily unwelcome, to refer to him by his first name. It feels like another one of your carefully erected barriers, designed to keep you safe, is in the process of being demolished with all the grace of a mountain troll on a rampage.

You’re half expecting Tom to be waiting for you, but he’s isn’t and relief wells in your chest. You have some soul-searching to do and you’re not sure if you’d be able to face him right now. It’s only once you’re back in the safety of your dorm that you finally allow yourself to fully comprehend what has just happened. Students are being attacked and you’re fairly certain you’ve just aligned yourself with their attacker.

***

Three days later, at seven o’clock in the evening, you enter the entrance hall in a hurry. You’d been caught up in a lengthy conversation with Lucas about whether or not he should ask Deliah Bowers on a date and now you’re running slightly late for your prefect rounds. As you skid into the entrance hall, you see that Tom is already waiting for you. He’s sitting on one of the benches by the entrance to the dungeons, head bowed over a small book which he’s writing in, his legs are stretched out in front of him, crossed at the ankles and you take a moment to admire the lean line of his body, the elegant curve of his neck, the way he taps the end of his fountain pen in thought when he pauses in his writing. You’re reminded of why he has the reputation that he does; sitting there he looks like the embodiment of a perfect student: smart, quiet and, dedicated.

If only they all knew.

He looks up sharply at the sound of your approaching footsteps and snaps the book shut. “Evening,” You say and promptly flush at the way your voice comes out a little higher than usual, a little uncertain. It’s ridiculous, Tom has treated you the same since your impromptu meeting with Dumbledore, hasn’t asked you about it at all, but you still feel nervous around him, as though you’ve given him a reason to distrust you, as though you’ve let him down somehow. You offer him a small smile, your gaze sliding to his hands and his slender fingers which are capping his pen with deft precision. It’s really quite unfair that he can make even the most mundane of actions look so refined. “What were you writing?” His expression shifts slightly, becomes perfectly clear and smooth and you wonder if you’ve overstepped a boundary when he shakes his head and raises the book to the light.

It’s a small, thin diary, bound in black leather with his name monogrammed on the cover. It looks well-used but cared for, much like the rest of his belongings you realise. Now that you think of it, his robes and textbooks all share the same tell-tale traits of hand-me-downs, but he hasn’t any siblings. For the first time since you’ve known him, you begin to wonder who Tom is exactly, who his parents are, what his history is. You’ve been so focused on uncovering his future that you’ve quite forgotten to pay attention to his past.

The diary looks fairly expensive though and you wonder if it was a gift or if he had saved up to buy himself something he could be proud of owning. “My diary,” He says at last, his voice shaking you from your train of thought. “I bought it over the summer and have grown rather fond of it.” He pauses and then adds, “I suppose you could say it’s the only thing I’ve ever bared my soul to.”

Something in the way he smiles suggests he’s thought of something rather amusing, but you’re stuck on his choice of words. Without knowing why dread coils tight in your stomach. You shake the feeling off as the pair of you begin patrolling the corridors. For twenty minutes or so, you make idle chit-chat, discussing the lessons you share and the finer points on an ongoing debate between two Ancient Runes academics.

“Why the fountain pen?” You’re honestly surprised to see him use one. Quills are standard practice in the wizarding world, and whilst you have your own thoughts on their practicality, you’re shocked that Tom might feel the same way. Given his feelings towards muggleborns, you’re a little confused that he would willingly use something so muggle.

He hums in response to the question and casts you a sideways glance, amusement writ clear on his features. You get the distinct impression that he knows what you’re thinking and finds the whole thing rather droll. “Do you take issue with my using one?”

“What? No, of course not. I’m just surprised.”

“That I would prefer to use an instrument far more practical than a quill simply because the person who invented it was a muggle? I wouldn’t have taken you for a blood purist.” You bristle at his words and he raises an eyebrow, evidently having fun toying with you.

“I’m not.” You snap, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. Honestly, the nerve of him to accuse you of being a blood purist when he’s the one attacking muggle-borns. (You carefully don’t think about the fact that you are essentially condoning his behaviour by not stepping in when you have been given every opportunity to do so.) “I’m surprised that you’d see it that way because you’re the one who’s—”

“The one who has been what?” He cuts you off, and though his tone remains friendly, there’s a sharpness in his gaze and a tightness around the corners of his mouth that immediately puts you on edge. You swallow roughly, and the sudden desire to run away is almost overwhelming. When you don’t say anything, he stops walking and turns to face you fully. In the dim light, shadows dance along the dagger’s edge of his jawline. He is beautiful and terrifying and you can see the cracks in his visage where the boy becomes a man and the man becomes a monster. It probably says something about you that in this light, you find him all the more alluring.

He takes a single step towards you, graceful and predacious and you find yourself tensing as some primordial instinct overtakes you. Fight or flight except for the part of you that wants to run is diminishing by the second and the reckless desire to hook your fingers into the hollows of his collarbones and crack him open until you can see every part of him grows.

One thing is for certain: Tom is bad for your health.

“Don’t you think it’s time we stop this charade?” You lift your head to meet his impossibly dark eyes. You’re afraid but you’re past caring. “We both know what you’ve been up to. Why pretend that we don’t?” Something twists in his eyes, heat and anger and maybe a little bit of fear, but there’s also something else… Something bright and curious and pleased. You find that the most unsettling thing of all.

“You haven’t told Dumbledore.” It’s not a question, just a statement of fact and one that he obviously enjoys saying out loud. He stares down at you, smiling in a way that is not at all friendly. You’re reminded of the way Dumbledore had tried so hard to catch your gaze, though unlike with your transfiguration professor, you don’t look away from Tom. “Why is that I wonder? And, more importantly, how did you figure it out?” He’s so close that you can feel the warmth of breath fan across your cheeks, sending a bright spark of… something down your spine.

You don’t particularly want to answer either of his questions, but you know that he won’t let it go. He’s been being patient with you, you realise, waiting until a moment like this, when you’re alone and unguarded to interrogate you. The question is why? Actually, the question is how do you avoid answering him? It’s a little hard to think clearly with him so close to you and, judging by the small smirk that plays on his lips, you’re fairly certain he knows it too. “I didn’t like the way he was looking at me.” Which is the truth. It’s just not the whole truth. “As for your other question, well, I guess you’re not as difficult to read as you think you are.” Again, it’s not technically a lie, though how likely Tom is to agree with you is up for debate.

Tom’s stance grows stiff, a long line of barely contained anger and his eyes narrow. You wonder if it’s because you won’t tell him everything, or if it’s because the thought of being known and seen scares him. Maybe it’s both. Maybe it’s neither. Regardless, you feel as though you’re breathing water with how thick and heavy the air has grown around the two of you. “You don’t know anything,” He whispers, his voice is soft and low and you might describe it as sensuous if it weren’t for the way that he’s looking at you. Anger and fear coalescing and colliding in the dark pits of his pupils.

Something inside of you breaks. Tom is bad for your health. He makes you reckless and brave and that is sure to spell disaster. You laugh, and it’s not friendly. You’re not happy. You laugh and the sound is a bell toll, a chime of hysteria and disbelief. “Trust me, I wish I didn’t know anything.” And that… That is a lie. The more you find out about Tom the more you want to uncover. It’s a feral kind of hunger that overtakes and consumes you without you wanting it to. Just as he had ten minutes earlier, you take a step towards him and you’re so close that you can practically feel the tension that is rolling off of him. Your eyes trace the taught tendons in his neck, and clench of his fists, the pinched line of his lips. Something that could be glee flares deep inside you when his expression cracks, just a little, just enough for you to see surprise flit through his eyes.

He takes a step back. It feels like a victory. He looks wrong-footed, as though he is entirely unprepared for you to turn aggressor in this situation and you realise that Tom is probably aware of the effect that he has on people, has probably learnt how to wield his beauty and his intimidating personality in equal measure to get what he wants. You’re pretty sure that no one has ever called him on his bluff before. Because he was bluffing, you’re certain of that now. You can see the way nervousness plays in the barely-there shifting of his weight and in the way he’s leaning back ever so slightly. It makes you feel powerful. It makes you want to reach out and take and hold until you’re imprinted on his skin.

You don’t do any of those things. You let the tension simmer and you smile, something bitter and cynical and maybe a little taunting and then you push past him. You still have half a castle to patrol but you’re not sure you can stand to be near him right now, not until you’ve calmed down enough to sort your thoughts out. “I’ll meet you at the library,” You call over your shoulder and you’re only a little disappointed when he doesn’t follow.

***

Outside, the night air is cool against your flushed skin and you feel calmer before you’ve even lit your cigarette. You sit at the top of the steps that lead up to the castle and thumb your lighter impatiently, breathing in tobacco and nicotine and smoke. You’re not expecting to See anything in the smoke tonight - the inner eye doesn’t do well with an agitated mind and you’re too worked up to meditate. Which is why it’s all the more surprising when the smoke hangs in the air, unnaturally thick and still.

Tom is bad for your health. But you already knew that.

The phantom boy emerges from the smoke and this time, he’s clearer, more defined, a smokey apparition of bad omens to come. You watch in a trancelike state as the familiar scene plays out and the boy grows gaunt and haunted, breaking into seven until all that remains is a shade of a man, more ghoul than human. Each of the seven splinters begins to shake and you imagine that if smoke could make noise you’d hear screaming.

You’re startled from your reverie by Tom, who sits down next to you. The smoke collapses and you blink yourself back into reality. When you finally drag your gaze towards him you’re unsurprised to find that the full weight of his attention is focussed on you. He watches you with an intensity that makes the back of your neck prickle and your stomach drop to your knees. You see the instant that he puts it all together, you have a feeling he’s suspected for a while. And isn’t that a funny thing? You’ve been so focused on Seeing him, that you didn’t notice that he’s been seeing you the whole time too.

When he touches you though, his hands are tentative, like he’s unsure if he should, if he can, if he’s allowed. His fingers barely graze your skin, skittish and hesitant. But his touch is warm and human and you want him like this always. Whatever his future might be, you want him warm and human and whole.

“What did you See?”

(part1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)

[landonmikaelson]

5 shows

rules: Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. don’t cheat. tag 10 (or however many) peeps.

Thank you so much @geekinthefuschiahair for tagging me!! ❤️

my shows:

1. The Vampire Diaries

2. Legacies

3. The Originals

4. Stranger Things

5. Lost in Space

questions:

1. who is your favorite character in 2?

Landon Kirby! (Obviously, since I’ve got a whole side blog dedicated to him haha.) He’s one of my top favorite characters ever (okay, not just one of, he is probably my very favorite).

2. who is your least favorite character in 1?

Oh idk... least favorite of the mains throughout the show would probably be Damon. I don’t hate him (well... sometimes I do haha, but I like him at times as well) I just like him least compared to everyone else. Though if I’m choosing someone who’s not one of the mains, I couldn’t stand the heretics in season 7, along with Julian. Yeah... maybe I’ll say Julian is my least favorite.

3. what is your favorite episode of 4?

That’s hard, but I’m gonna say either 1x08 or 2x09 but don’t think I can choose between the two.

4. what is your favorite season of 5?

Hmm I really love every season, but overall, I think I will say season 1 is my favorite.

5. who is your favorite couple in 3?

It’s a tie between Klamille and Haylijah. I think if I had to choose I would maybe say Klamille? But they’re very close.

6. who is your favorite couple in 2?

Handon of course! No question. (Also the only couple in that show that I care about.)

7. what is your favorite season of 1?

Season 2 (but season 1 is a close second), there was just a ton of great content in that season. It’s my favorite season for Stelena, I also loved all the Forwood stuff, I liked Beremy as well. We got vampire Caroline, the start of Steroline’s friendship. We got Katherine as the villain along with Elijah and Klaus. And I loved the dynamics between the characters and the storylines. Plus the early seasons of TVD are just the best as well imo.

8. what is your favorite episode of 5?

Idk if I have a favorite, but I really like 2x05 with all the John and Judy stuff, that always gets me. And 3x06, the ending was a lot but it was good. But I also really love 3x08 and how the whole thing ends. So yeah, those 3 are some of my tops but I don’t think I can choose just one.

9. what is your favorite episode of 2?

There’s a lot of episodes I like for certain scenes but my favorite episode as a whole is 1x13. Just the writing, editing, acting, music, it was all so well done and also the most emotional episode of the show imo. And I love how it was all solely focused on the characters, like on a mental and emotional level. Plus of course the Landon phoenix reveal at the end. (I’ll also add that 1x01, 1x08, and 2x12 are some of my top favorites as well.)

10. how long have you watched 1?

I watched the pilot when it aired back in 2009 and just never stopped watching. And will still rewatch it even though it ended years ago.

11. how did you become interested in 3?

Since it was a TVD spinoff and the backdoor pilot was a TVD episode, I naturally started watching it once it began and obviously to see the Mikaelsons’ story continue.

12. who is your favorite actor in 4?

Probably Millie Bobby Brown, but also Noah Schnapp, he was amazing in season 2 and deserves more credit for that.

13. which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

1, TVD is my very favorite show.

14. which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3?

1, since TVD has more episodes than TO.

15. if you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

I mean, I really wouldn’t wanna be any of them because they’re always going through terrible stuff. Having Eleven’s powers would be awesome, but I wouldn’t ever wanna be her with all she’s gone through and keeps going through. Idk maybe... Erica? Just because she gets to be part of the group but she’s also not been as in the thick of things the way the other characters have... yet anyway.

16. would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

I don’t see how that would work or make any sense at all, especially when they take place like 30 years apart. Unless Eleven ended up being a witch or something? That’s the only kind of connection I can think of them having haha.

17. pair two characters in 1 that would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple

Idk, most everyone was kind of with everyone at some point. 😂 Maybe... Stefan and Bonnie? 🤷‍♀️🤔 I always wish we had gotten to see more of a friendship between them but I don’t think them as a couple would’ve been horrible either (Bonnie did think Stefan was hot in the pilot 😂) though I’ve honestly never thought of that before.

18. overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Definitely Lost in Space. Legacies started out good, but uh... yeah, anyways... 😬

19. which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Stranger Things for sure, that theme music is pretty iconic. (Legacies doesn’t have much of a theme anyway, plus I’m not a fan of some of the score either so...)

20. what is your favorite episode of 3?

Again, I can’t choose just one, but a few favorites that come to mind are 2x09, 2x22, 3x09 (except the ending), 3x22, 5x12... too many to choose from.

Tagging: @hopekirby @smolpandakirbyson @addys-beth @goodbecauseiloveyou @winnie-the-monster @charismascarpenter and anyone else who would like to do it!

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Rafe Cameron x reader

Requested by anon//Summary: After you catch your boyfriend, JJ cheating with Kie and find out the rest of the pogues knew it was happening, you decide their friendship wasn’t what you thought it was and find an unforeseen solace with the biggest kook of all, Rafe Cameron. 

A/N: I don’t condone cheating at all, it’s wrong and you hurt the person more than you think. This is purely fiction and I don’t mind writing about it. Anon who requested-- I hope you enjoy and thank you for requesting!  xx 

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: {OPEN} CLOSED

I am currently taking requests for:

The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Elijah Mikaelson

Damon Salvatore

Criminal Minds:

Spencer Reid

Derek Morgan

Supernatural (I’m only up to season 2, so please don’t request something with spoilers)**

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Outer Banks (Netflix):

John B Routledge

JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

You had been trying to contact JJ the entire day, but no answer. The two of you were supposed to go out on a date tonight but it was now two hours after your agreed date time and he still was a no show. Since it wasn’t a far walk from your house you walked to JJ’s only to find his bike was not there. Okay, so he wasn’t at his house, what’s new? You trekked on and headed for the Chateau. You knew he’d either be there or possibly at the beach surfing.

~

When you arrived at the Chateau you were surprised to find all the pogues cars in the driveway, including JJ’s bike. You didn’t know everyone was hanging out today, no one had contacted you. Frowning you headed through the yard to find all of them surrounded by one of the trees, laughing and what looked like drinking beer. There was a faint smell of weed in the air.

John B and Pope were seated in some chairs and… in the hammock were Kie… and JJ. You thought your heart was going to fall out of your chest. The two of them had always been flirty with each other, but JJ always reassured you that it was nothing but friends being flirty. However, this was not flirty. They were cuddled up in the hammock just like you and JJ had done numerous nights. Their legs were tangled up and Kie’s head was on his chest. His fingers were running through her hair.

“What the fuck?”

The pogues all looked at you, surprise written all over their face. Kie and JJ both scrambled off the hammock, “Y/n, what are you doing here?” JJ asked, clearing his throat and starting toward you.

You shook your head, “What am I doing here?! I haven’t heard from you all day. We had a date tonight, JJ!”

“Shit.” He whispers, “Baby-”

“don’t baby me, maybank! I can’t believe you.”

“Look it wasn’t what it looked like… we were just hanging out.” He pleads.

“Not what it looked like?” You laughed bitterly, “It is exactly what it looked like. My boyfriend screwing my best friend. Oh, and that the rest of my best friends knew about it.” You then turn your attention to Pope and John B who don’t meet your eyes.

“y/n, nothing happened-” Kie started but you quickly interrupted her.

“I don’t want to fucking hear it. That’s such a bullshit excuse. I’ve seen the way you two flirt and JJ always reassured me it was nothing, but I was an idiot to believe him or believe you people were my friends.” You turned away from the group and headed back through the yard, tears flowing down your cheeks.

JJ hurried after you and grabbed your arm, “Y/n.. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

You yanked your arm from his grip, “You’re not sorry JJ, you’re sorry you got caught!” You look at the pogues and back at JJ, “I never want to speak to any of you again. You four are no better than the asshole kooks.” You spit before walking away from JJ.

As soon as you made it to the concrete street, you broke into a run. How could JJ do this to you? And how could the people you called your best friends keep something like this from you? You couldn’t see through the tears as you ran down the street and tripped right over a rock, your body hitting the concrete. Pain shot through your knees and your hands. You slowly sat up, still sobbing. Your hands and knees were covered in blood and small pebbles. You begin brushing the small pebbles off your knees and hands.

He’d watched you trip right over the rock and winced as he saw you hit the road. Ouch. He quickly pulled his truck to a stop on the side of the road and got out, rushing to you, “Hey, are you okay?”

You looked up at him and went back to your knees, brushing them off, “I’m fine, Rafe.”

He crouched down in front of you, “You don’t look fine.” He could see the tears steadily falling from your cheeks.

“Yeah well you wouldn’t look fine either if you found your boyfriend cheating on you with your best friend and the rest of your friends knew about it.” You wipe your cheek with the back of your hand.

He looked up back at his truck and around the road before looking back down at you. He wasn’t supposed to be on this side of town, but he needed his drug fix and was on his way to get more when he saw you fall. “Why don’t you let me take you home? You’re not in the shape to be walking home alone..”

You look up at him, “Yeah and what will I need to give you in return?” You huff and begin getting up, wincing, the cuts on your knees being a problem.

He’s quick to help you up, holding onto your arms, “Nothing. You won’t owe me anything.”

He watched as you limped when you took a step, “y/n, come on. Let me drive you home, there’s no way you can walk home.”

You sigh in defeat and look up at him, nodding, “Fine..”

His arm wrapped around your waist to support you but after a few steps, “I’m going to pick you up.” He looked at you for permission first and then with ease, picked you up bridal style, holding you against his chest as he walked you back to his truck.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you couldn’t help but blush at how close you were to him.  

~

When you arrived at your house, he carried you inside and to your bathroom. “Do you have a first aid kit?” He asked as he set you on the side of the tub.

You nodded, pointing to the sink, “yeah, there’s one under the sink.”

He pulled the first aid kit out and wet a washcloth. Ringing it out he turned back to you, “Hold out your hands.”

You obliged and held your hands out to him. His touch was soft as he wiped the blood off your hands. “Why are you being nice to me?”

He glances up at you, “I’m not always an asshole. I can be nice.”

“What were you even doing on my side of town?”

He ignored your question, “So JJ and Kie huh?”

You frowned, “Don’t ignore my question and change the subject.”

He sighs and stops wiping your hands, “Just some work for my dad. I had to drop something off for him.” He didn’t want to tell you he was actually on his way to get drugs. He put some antibiotic cream on your hands and laid a piece of gauze on it before wrapping it, “JJ Maybank’s an idiot.” He still had your hands in his hands when he met your eyes, “He’s an idiot for thinking someone was better than you.”

~

It was a couple days later when your doorbell rang the last person you expected to see was Rafe Cameron standing at your door with a bag of food in his hand. You invited him inside and the two of you sat at your table for what felt like hours eating and talking and laughing. He kept you laughing and for the first time you didn’t think about JJ Maybank.

~

“They’re going to love you y/n. Please just come with me?”

Rafe had asked you to come out to dinner with him, Topper, Kelce and a few other kooks, but you denied the offer. You were a pogue and you knew they hated pogues.

“Rafe, I’m a pogue. They aren’t going to love me.”

“They will. I promise. Just come out to dinner and if you want to leave then we’ll leave?” He begs.

You sigh before agreeing. When the two of you arrived, you had expected for Rafe to let go of your hand when he saw his friends, but he didn’t, he only held onto your hand tighter. The group cheered a little when they saw Rafe.

“Rafe!”

“What’s up man?” Rafe and the boys did their little bro hugs/handshakes and then Rafe was back to your side, his arm around your waist.

“You guys remember y/n, right?” Rafe had asked with a smile. He’d talked to them beforehand about the two of you. They were quick to judge because you were a pogue but after they heard what happened with JJ and how he treated you and the look on Rafe’s face when he talked about you, their mindset changed, willing to give you a chance.  

Topper nodded, “I think we can all agree JJ Maybank is an asshole.”

“Never liked that guy.” Kelce commented.

From then on, you felt more comfortable with the kooks than you ever did with the pogues. They were welcoming and accepted you, even if you were a pogue. You didn’t feel like an outsider to them. You were late to the friend’s group with the pogues and you never felt like you belonged, even when you started dating JJ.

~

You squealed as Rafe threw you over his shoulder and headed for the water, “Rafe Cameron, you better not!” But it was too late, he was already in the water with you.

He laughed as the two of you resurfaced, “I’m sorry sweetheart, you just looked like you needed to cool off.”

You splashed him a little before jumping into his arms, “You’re a mess.”

He nods, smiling, “I’m your mess though.”

After a little while in the water, the two of you headed back to the kooks. You all were enjoying a relaxing day at the beach when you saw the pogues heading your way.

“I see you went full kook.” JJ commented as he walked up, “Didn’t take you long to find another.” This was the first time in weeks that you had even seen or heard from him. He hadn’t even bothered to call you.

“Fuck off, Maybank.” Rafe commented, handing you a towel.

“Oh fuck you, Cameron. This doesn’t concern you.” JJ’s eyes met yours, “Can we talk?”

“It does concern me since you’re wanting to talk with my girl.” Rafe stood at your side, half of his body in front of you, as if protecting you.

“Your girl?” JJ laughed, “Didn’t take you long to find my replacement, huh? And the biggest kook of him all? You’ve reached an all time low, y/n.”

Your eyes brimmed with tears. Topper was at your other side, “Come on Maybank, just walk away.”

“JJ, just leave, please. We’re over. You cheated on me and you don’t get to come over here, judging me for my choices.”

“Walk away, Maybank, before I make you walk away.” Rafe warns. You put your arm on his, signaling him to calm down.

“Whatever. y/n don’t come crawling back to me when this kook realizes you’re just a dirty pogue and decides you’re not good enough for him.” He points an accusing finger at you before starting to walk off.

Rafe starts to lunge after him, but you stop him and push passed Rafe, “Hey JJ?”

He turns around half expecting you to forgive him and leave Rafe, “Realize you made a mistake?”

You sigh, putting your hands on his shoulders and giving a sweet smile, you bring your knee up to his crotch, “Fuck you.” You spit as he groans, falling to his knees in pain, cupping his crotch.

Behind you can hear the Kook’s gasping, “oooo” “Oh shit!” “You go girl!”

Rafe is laughing as he comes up to you, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you to him, “My girl.”

Obx taglist:  @emmalvei-blog​ , @tregua-oca​ , @weirdbiwitch​ , @losers-club6​​ , @treestarrrrrrrr​​ , @omgwhattheeven​​ , @normatural​​ , @lreincarnationl​​

[c-c-cherry]

What's the most embarrassing thing each of the Bucci gang has done/has had happen to them?

Ok I took WAY too long on this but I loved this question so much and it was so fun coming up with these. Special thanks to my girl @jjadegreen for helping me!!

**This isn’t NSFW but I’d say its teen and up just because of some of the stuff talked about hehe**

______________________

Mista

-Pre-canon Mista was a bit sick one night so Bruno made him stay home while they all went on this one mission

-So naturally he’s like “HELL YEAH HOME ALONE”

-Bruno forgets his wallet and had to come back a little while later to get it and walks in on him wearing the following:

One of Abbacchio’s signature goth dress robe thing

Like 12 of Bruno’s barrettes all sticking to the top of his head

Fugo’s tie

Narancia’s bandana

All while BLASTING K-Pop at full volume in the living room. And our man is INTO IT. This isn’t just some radio coincidence shit, he was SCREAMING the lyrics. He owns the CDs.

-Bucciarati LOSES IT. Mista has never been so mortified in his life and Bruno has never laughed so hard in his life.

-He promises not to tell the rest of the gang but tells him it’s officially blackmail material

-They never speak of it again but at Christmas Mista opens Bruno’s gift and it's a brand new K-pop CD and everyone thinks its just a gag gift but like

-He definitely listens to it later alone in his room

Bucciarati

Bruno Bucciarati does not get drunk for two main reasons:

He blacks out every time

He’s an absolute lightweight

-The last time Bruno got absolutely piss drunk, he was with Abbacchio and it wasn’t even funny. It was just surreal because Bucciarati never lets himself go to such an extent

-For whatever reason Bruno is like “hey I never drink we should go to the bar or something” after a successful mission

-Even though the legal age of drinking is technically 16 in Italy they leave “the kids” home to watch mean girls or some shit

-Mista tags along too because he’s worried Bruno will get drunk and spill about the unfortunate “K-pop incident”

-My man Bruno drank like two beers and was immediately GONE like he got up and got lost in the bar after way too many drinks and ran into a drag Queen with Abbacchio’s hair

-Said drag queen became Bruno Bucciarati’s new drinking buddy

-He stumbles over to the karaoke contest and gets onstage and grabs the shitty bar mic and screams “THIS GOES OUT TO LEONE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWUA TWO YEARS HONEY~” and Mista is just like 👁👄👁

-Because uhhh they have literally been together for two years but everyone in the gang just thinks its a weird on/off thing because they never talk about it

-He sings dancing queen because its by ABBA and both Leone and Mista are fucking screaming with laughter and Abbacchio is filming the entire goddamn thing

-He buys the entire bar drinks they all love him so much

-Afterwards Leone tries to get them home so he leaves them outside while he takes a piss and when he walks back out THEY ARE GONE.

-Mista thought it would be a perfect time for them to get tattoos because his fucking capo is drunk off his ass and there is no better time

-Mista gets these two giant smoking guns on his back and his ass is in SO MUCH PAIN afterward that he leaves Bruno alone while he’s picking out his tattoo to get ice cream

-When he comes back Bruno has a tattoo ON HIS LEFT FOOT THAT SAYS “Never don’t give up.” The tattoo people tried to correct him but he insisted

-Abba finds them and is just like “jesus god” and takes them all to a hotel because there is no way in hell he’s taking them back home like this

-The next morning Bruno remembers absolutely NOTHING and as the gang admires Mista’s giant tattoo they ask if Bruno got one too and he’s like “god no I’m not that irresponsible”

-As soon as they’re alone Abba’s like “you got one on the bottom of your foot” and you can just see the moment Bucciarati’s soul leaves his body

Fugo

-Ok so if y’all didn’t know Fugo literally canonically wears a thong

-This isn’t sexualizing him (also I am indeed a minor don’t harass me) it's just a fact of life. You do you Fugo.

-So he sneaks out of the house once in a while and goes shopping for them cause our man’s gotta live, you know?

-He pops in the underwear store one day and you wanna know who he fucking passes by in the lingerie section?

-Bruno fucking Bucciarati.

-Which isn’t exactly a surprise considering he’s wearing visible lingerie in his tiddy window outfit but like

-That’s like running into your dad at femboy hooters

-Much to his dismay, the man spots him immediately and there’s just this...awkward silence as Fugo is holding this shopping basket of underwear and Bruno is holding the raunchiest piece of clothing he’s ever seen in his life

-They never talk about it again. Fugo finds a different store.

Abbacchio

-The most mortifying moment Abbacchio can live to remember is the first time he told Bucciarati that he loved him

-Pre-canon, our man is NOT having a vibing time

-He gets absolutely wasted with while Bruno’s at his apartment

-He’s the most miserable drunk, so he’s just fucking sobbing and Bucci is sitting there trying to console him and Abbacchio just looks up at him with tears streaking down his face and says “I’m in love with you” and the look on Bruno’s face just makes him feel even more miserable

-The entire night he keeps blubbering about how much he loves him and how much he means to him and how beautiful he is and the entire time Bruno is doing that thing where he tries to cover his face with his hand because our man is mega FLUSTERED up in here

-When he wakes up he remembers EVERYTHING and he wished he didn’t because then maybe he would be able to say that he didn’t mean it

-Bruno is surprisingly just like “Did you really mean it?” and he can’t lie so he just tells the truth and he’s just nonchalantly like “me too”

-Bruno thinks it’ll be a nice wedding story and Abbacchio no longer wants to live on this planet

Narancia

-Mista and Narancia are vibing in the living room one night and Nara tells Mista to grab his gameboy from upstairs

-He says its under his pillow (or else Bruno will take it away every night hehe)

-But you wanna know what else is under Narancia’s pillow? His Diary. No, it’s not a journal or just a blank book, Mista finds a book titled DIARY.

-And the shit in there is priceless.

“Bucciarati is sooo cool. I tried cutting my hair like his, but it didn’t really work. I think I gotta wear this hat for the next couple weeks. Shit. Fuck. If someone takes it off, I’m so fucked.”

“I clogged up the toilet yesterday and was too scared to tell Abba, so I just flushed it again but then the water wouldn’t stop flooding everywhere so I used Aerosmith to explode the toilet and told Abba that it was a stand attack. He believed me. If ANYONE ever finds out, I’m dead.”

“HOLY SHIT. I swallowed a tide pod yesterday and freaked out so I made Giorno turn it into a grape in my stomach with his stand. I almost DIED. But I didn’t so I’m over it. If Giorno ever tells anyone, I’ll kill him.”

-Narancia realizes about ten minutes after Mista left that HOLY SHIT HIS DIARY

-he finds Mista three quarters way through it and gives him $50 not to tell anyone about it.

-The shame never leaves, though

Trish

-Jade gave me a cute headcanon that Trish’s mom was still only teaching her how to properly put on makeup before she died (it's not like there was youtube or anything to teach her either) so our girl Trish only knows the basics

-She puts on lip gloss and blush and mascara and stuff but she’s never even TOUCHED eyeliner and rarely puts on eyeshadow. She doesn’t even wear concealer most of the time (she honestly doesn’t even need to, her skin is baby soft smooth)

-So long story short she kind of misses her mom and remembers how her mom was going to teach her a smokey eye before she died and is determined to teach it to herself now

-So she pulls a little heist and snatches some of Abbacchio’s makeup while they’re all out doing stuff

-She was not prepared for how heavy this shit was. She was used to the lighter, more natural stuff but Abba’s makeup is EXTREME.

-All of his stuff is waterproof so it doesn’t wash off while he’s crying at 3am and it’s just this—dark, heavy stuff.

-She actually hasn’t used a thick, real tube of lipstick before, only those little gloss tubes with the stick because she has smaller lips so when she crouches over with a small makeup mirror in fear of anyone somehow walking in on her and smears Abbacchio’s thick, dark purple lipstick on her lips, she knew she was absolutely fucked. She has no idea how to do this shit, especially not with dark, heavy goth makeup

-The smokey eye does not work. It’s just smeared eyeshadow EVERYWHERE, it looks like she has two giant, awful, black eyes and her first attempt at eyeliner was just—unspeakably horrible

-She has no idea where to start so she just puts on way too much of absolutely everything and immediately regrets it the moment she looks at herself in the bathroom mirror

-Abba comes home early and immediately realizes that some of his makeup is gone and he knows it has to be Trish

-He walks upstairs to confront her but just hears loud, ugly sobbing coming from her room and bursts in only to find her desperately trying to wipe off layers of caked-on water-proof makeup and absolutely failing

-The two of them spend all night taking it off all while Trish is still crying teary apologies to him

-To add in some wholesome Dadbacchio, he teaches her how to properly put everything on the next day <3

Giorno

-Some people forget that as a 15 year old, Giorno sometimes has absolutely no impulse control

-So when Polnareff tells him that he’s the spitting image of his evil, murderous, vampire dad he’s immediately like “haha well I’m gonna go dye my hair now”

-Everyone had something to do that day/night so Giorno waltzes over to the nearest drug store and grabs one of those at-home dying kits (he got dark green cause he thought it would look cool with his new outfit)

-He gets home and has absolutely no idea what he’s doing so he just thinks it’ll work out somehow

-Soooo yeah he does NOT put it in properly at all, he just kind of takes the shit and slathers it all over his hair and doesn’t do his roots and doesn’t put it up and leaves it dripping down his back and stuff and his stupid ass FALLS ASLEEP with the hair dye in

-He wakes up and the sheets are this really awful light green colour but he doesn’t pay any mind to it

-He looks in the mirror and from the front it actually looks good and he gets all excited and decides to wash it out

-When he gets out of the shower it’s this awful disgusting light light ugly green and he almost cries. Almost.

-It looks like someone dunked him in that Nickelodeon slime and he looks at the package and it says the dye will stay in for at least 3 weeks and there aRE TEARY EYES

-He spends the next hour in the shower trying to wash it out. It does not wash out.

-Utterly defeated with his hair matted and donuts practically falling apart, he stumbles over to his room and tries to wash the sheets covered in slime-coloured hair dye which *surprise!!!* doesn’t wash out either!

-He must dispose of the evidence, but of COURSE they’re out of garbage bags so he shoves all the dye kit stuff and the sheets into a mafia body bag and chucks it by the garbage can outside without a single thought

-Which he SHOULD have had a single thought about it, because when they get home and Narancia spots the body bag he’s like “holy shit guys I think Giorno killed someone while we were out”

-So they all panically pop into the house and cautiously try to find Giorno. Fugo finally finds him pacing around his room in the dark and when he flicks on the lights HO-LY SHIT.

-Fugo obviously bursts out into laughter and Bruno books it up the stairs and also starts cackling and Narancia is like “OH MY GOD YOU KILLED SOMEONE LOOKING LIKE THAT?!” and Giorno has to explain to them that the body bag is filled with stained bedsheets (much to his embarrassment)

-Abbacchio takes so many pictures and Giorno is having a nervous breakdown because he cannot live with his hair looking like this

-Bruno makes Abba fix it the next morning and he loves every second of Giorno’s mortification

-The pictures Abbacchio took of that night are framed next to the pictures of Bruno’s wasted karaoke night in his room

______________________

Thank you for the ask, anon!! I’m absolutely exhausted now haha so I’ll scroll through the rest of the asks when I wake up!!

[cowboyshit]

twenty questions

tagged by: @dustofinsanity (thank you so much my dear!!!!!!)

what do you prefer to be called name-wise? honestly I’ll probably answer to most things as long as they aren’t mean. but ash, ashley, doe, those seem to be the solid three I’m known by around here when is your birthday? november 30th!  where do you live? in a tiny, backwoods cow-town smack dab in the middle of california three things you are doing right now? filling this questionnaire out, eating dinner I just finished cooking, and petting sadie with my foot since she’s curled up at my feet after she finished her dinner four fandoms that have peaked your interest. I guess I can go with four I’ve been heavily involved with, even though there’s plenty more than that since I’m a little fangirl at heart, but wrestling (obviously), black sails, the night shift, and pirates of the caribbean how has the pandemic been treating you? uh, I mean, it hasn’t been great and I’ve had to deal with some pretty bad shit as all of us have, and probably some of my worst mental health battles I’ve had to face in about a year or so, but honestly? I just kind of count my blessings these days. lucky to still be employed, even if my pay got a little cut it was nothing that keeps me from paying my bills. all I had to do was take away a few luxury things to make ends meet, and that’s a lot, LOT less than other people have had to do. so yeah, it’s been pretty shitty, this year has been bad news after bad news both personally and globally, but whatever. it could be worse. a song you can’t stop listening to right now? it is no-joke like a four-way tie. a bunch of good songs were in my discover weekly and I’ve been playing four of them on non-stop repeat one after the other. oh! and one my best friend showed to me. this baby don’t cry by k. flay, rock bottom by grandson, ok ok by hoko, and insurgents by the poolside by denny recommend a movie. i’ve jumped into holiday mood early af because tbh I need the holiday cheer, so keeping in that theme, I suggest the holiday with jude law because DUH how old are you? thirty! school, university, occupation, other? had some college, been working in my current career for the past ten years. hoping to pursue a promotion finally since my supervisors have been telling me for the past eight years that I need to promote do you prefer heat or cold? cold pleeeaaaase! I’m a radiator and put off heat like nobody’s business. I’m always warm. name one fact others may not know about you. this is hard because I just constantly blab everything about me, and I have two people who literally know EVERYTHING about me lmfao uhhh I guess... something people may not know... uhhh... on my dad’s side of the family one half was ashkenazi jewish who had to flee germany to avoid the holocaust, where they went to live in italy, while the other half were nazi’s committing some pretty bad stuff that my family won’t talk about, even to this day. funny how two descendants eventually met in america and fell in love, huh? and when they DID fall in love one of them was half italian and in the mafia! so I always joke that my bubbly cheerful self is a descendent of some pretty evil shit, and it feels like a nice little stab at those shitty ancestors of mine. are you shy? uhhh yeah and no??? like. I think I’m shy, since all interaction terrifies me and exhausts me, but everyone tells me I’m a social butterfly? and I’ve noticed in places I’m comfortable and confident, I do tend to be less shy and more involved and interactive? but I think I can be shy. a lot of waiting for other people to initiate because I’m too afraid to, struggling to talk or carry a conversation at times... I don’t know I think I’m overcomplicating this answer LOL preferred pronouns? she/her!  biggest pet peeves? gatekeeping, to be perfectly honest. I stopped following wrestling back in 2014 because when I first tried to get into the fandom, someone was trying to gatekeep a wrestler I also liked and had started making content for and they made me feel like shit for liking them, and I absolutely hated it. that’s why it took me an entire two years of quietly lurking in the wrestling fandom before I finally got brave enough to come out of the woodwork, and I’m grateful I’ve been so well received this time around. but now I’m hyper-sensitive to gatekeeping and I fucking hate it. no joke. and since it’s a pet peeve and I’m irked just remembering all that bs I went through, ima say I’m only a part of fandom to share my love of whatever that thing is with other people who love it too. I can’t stand anyone who thinks they have some sort of “claim” over a celebrity or a show or anything. get a different identity that isn’t wrapped up in that thing and stop seeing it as a threat when other people like it. be happy someone else is as passionate about that thing as you are and make a friend. damn. what is your favorite “dere” type? I’m pretty sure this is something with anime or that originated from anime, right? unfortunately I don’t know what they are so I can’t say LOL I don’t even know if I’m right about it coming from anime tbh rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be. 4, 5, but I’m putting in the foundation now and working to make it a 6, 7, or possibly 8 by a year or two from now. what’s your main blog? funnily enough? this one. my OTHER blog that was my main blog since I joined tumblr in 2009 got shoved to the side for this one last year LOL I assumed I’d log onto this blog once in awhile, but now it took over my whole damn life so here I am I guess list your side blogs and what they’re used for. I’m going to be fair and ONLY list my active ones because I have a few side blogs from when I role-played on tumblr that I haven’t touched in over a year. @doedreamss is my non-wrestling blog that WAS my main blog before this one, @cowboysht is my archive where I am ONLY putting my original gifsets/analysis/fanfiction so that one day I can offer people a blog of just my original work and no other posts (the queue is very slowly catching up I think I’ve queued posts up until june this year), @illfatedandstarcrossed is just a non-frequently used outlet for me to mope and dump emotions when I get sad about my relationship things (like a diary! but... public? and not my original thoughts? LOL), and then I have one more blog but it’s locked and private and it’s LITERALLY my diary where I can just vent when I got shit I wanna get off my chest but don’t necessarily want people to see it. Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends? I probably won’t talk to you daily, tbh. I may not even talk to you weekly. socializing takes a lot out of me, on top of an already energy draining day-to-day in my personal life. I have a handful of people I connect with who I talk with frequently, but unfortunately as much as I’d love for it to be endless, I have to keep that list short for my own sanity. my infrequent conversations mean absolutely nothing about my lack of interest in you or how much I care about you. my granny once said I would be the perfect friend for someone you only want to talk to twice a month and she thought she was insulting me, but deadass I just said “YEAH! EXACTLY!!”

tagging: I really like this one so I WANT to tag people, but I feel braindead and also just want to post it cause I feel like I am definitely gonna forget to tag someone tbh aaaaahh okay okay I’m just gonna throw some names out there but please don’t feel pressured to do this (it is TWENTY questions) @kennyhoemega, @champbucks, @superkickparty, @adampage, @hintsofsunshine, @audreyhrnes, @sheslikealostflower, @lancearchers, @champnick, @janelanutella, @edgecution, @superrezzy00, @wardl0w, @writinglionqueen, @orangechuckiet, @hungmanhorsecarriage, @icouldbesus, @thatnerdwriter, @rampagewriting, @snarkandsarcasmftw, @tetsuyainthesky AND I DUNNO JUST ANYONE WHO WANTS TO OK I LOVE YOU ALL BYE

[unintentionalgenius]

ok @ongreenergrasses tagged me to do this and that's how I know we're made for each other bc tagging me in things is my love language

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 20, but 13 of those shouldn't count because they're Sherlock and I am not that person anymore

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? ok I had hopes that there was some way to do this besides doing, you know, math. but. it's 169,674

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  shockingly, #1 is Death and John Watson; or, Five Times John Watson Met Death and the One Time He Died at 615 kudos. If you'd asked me what was going to top this list I never in a million years would have said this one. I might have to re-read this now.

What I would have said actually comes in at #2, the (almost complete, dear g-d I'm so close) Come then, and be broken at 376 kudos.

#3 my beloved, my eldest daughter of a fic, Put Away Childish Things at 223.

#4 is astoundingly another Sherlock fic, this one creatively titled Five Times John Woke Up to Sherlock and One Time He Didn't (it's not bullying if it's past me I'm making fun of, right?).

#5 is a tie, with 60 kudos each, but they're part of the same series: A Great Man and Something Like Beginning, from my Sherlock kidfic (and incidentally how i met Hayls in the first place!).

I'm really committed to preserving my ~journey~ as a writer, but the outsized prevalence of Sherlock fic on my profile is making me question that decision. I feel like it's false advertising for who I am as a person now. 😅

4. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to! It might not be in a timely fashion, and honestly sometimes I feel weird about it, but I do go through and answer a few at a time when I have a few minutes.

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? I refuse to re-read the Sherlock fic just to confirm, but I think Childish Things wins by a landslide anyway. Fic where John or Sherlock died was a dime a dozen back in the day whereas "[a genderswapped] stiles helps peter kill her best friend" is still a very particular, unique twist of the knife.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? this is probably going to be that Sherlock kidfic verse!

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written? I absolutely do not write crossovers. No offense to anyone who does, but I simply do not understand the appeal.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic? It was less about the fic and more about the fact that I pointed out 911 has some copaganda elements via a fic's tags, but yes.

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind? I now, as of literally the most recent chapter of the most recent work I posted, have to admit that I do technically write smut. It's super cerebral, feely smut, but you do read two people having sex, so like. guilty.

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I don't think I have written any fics worth stealing but if it's happened I don't know about it

11. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before? nope! I have co-written things in Real Life and I honestly don't think I have anyone that I would want to write fic with like that. HOWEVER I do have a beloved sounding board in @ragequilt

13. What’s your all time favorite ship? i literally cannot answer this, there is no way I can say decisively

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I had this fic from when the first of the new star wars movies came out where everyone thinks poe is dead, so finn has to become a person on his own, essentially, rather than being taught/hand-held by poe which I felt like I was seeing a lot in fic. The whole thing was epistolary, a diary that finn's therapist had him start keeping, which he then started writing to Poe. That's pretty firmly abandoned at this point, but it still haunts me and I wish I had finished it.

15. What are your writing strengths? Hayls once told me I'm really good at dialogue, and I actually think that's true. I'm also pretty good at atmosphere, I think, though no one has ever said exactly that. I do think I'm good at characterization, and that for me is really tied to how I do dialogue. I would honestly accept any commentary anyone wants to offer on the subject, though

16. What are your writing weaknesses? PLOT. not like, emotional arcs or a character's journey or whatever but. the ticky little nuts and bolts of how we get from a to z, especially when it requires a tight plot of external action. I always think about myself as (to quote @ragequilt here) someone who writes hurt/comfort, not casefic, and this is why. I'm rarely interested in writing the finer details of a mystery or an extravagant plot full of courtly intrigue. I'm probably bad at other things, too, but this is the one that stands out like a glaring neon sign to me.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I think in almost every case it's not necessary UNLESS it's being done for effect - that is, if I intentionally want the reader not to know what's said. Otherwise, I'm just going to put the switch to french/spanish/hebrew/arabic/mandarin in the narration. One exception to this for me, which is really just a sub-clause under the "only for effect" rule, is when I'm writing canonically bilingual characters who would employ words or phrases in both their languages in the same sentence. Some of this is characterization - Eddie Diaz speaks Spanish or Spanglish around his family; someone writing me wouldn't be writing me properly if they didn't write the Hebrew/Yiddish/English patois that I speak in Jewish spaces. I don't want my writing to read like the over-translated subtitles you sometimes see where loan words are translated, thereby rendering the subtitles actually less intelligible. It's a delicate balance and I wouldn't guarantee I get it write all the time, especially when it comes to not othering a character I'm writing. (also @ hayls I am one of those people who always/almost always says Hashem instead of g-d 😂 for me it's a way of making sure people don't think I'm talking about Christian God™️) You will notice, though, that I do have a tipping point implicitly delineated here - if someone is speaking another language for whole sentences, I'm just going to put that in the narration; single words or phrases will be written as spoken.

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for? Sherlock (womp womp)

19. What’s a fandom/ship you haven’t written for yet but want to? I've never written Destiel fic, and while at this point you might be wondering what on earth there is left to say via fic about that pairing, I have a lil thing bubbling around in my brain about bodily autonomy vs. trauma vs. helping someone not suffer from their trauma while violating whatever the brain equivalent is of bodily autonomy.

20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? whyyyy would you ask someone this, it's like asking someone to pick a favorite child. the answer will change tomorrow, but right now I think it's the still-WIP sequel to Childish Things, A Twisted Thing Cannot Be Made Straight. It's got fun witchy!Stiles, buckets of angst but also lots of fun pack shenanigans in flashbacks, lots of me working out my own feelings about childbirth and raising children, ambiguous relationships, belated grappling with trauma, and also a satisfyingly bloody climax. There are some scenes there that still give me chills to read, and I wrote them.

@ragequilt I want to see yours!

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Member: *in small* mingi (but the energy isn’t very small in this one i promise you)

Genre: bad boy/gangster/protective boyfriend mingi (film diary feels), high school break up? LIGHT smut (i’ll try)

Word Count: 2.9k

A/N: i did NOT expect myself to use mingi for my first smut post and i’m not entirely BIG on writing explicit, overwhelming stuff so bear with me ;_;

"yah-- i think you need to come see this." yunho runs into the classroom, catching you at your desk that was right next to the door. students outside were starting to create a fuss, and you could hear hurried foot steps rush down the halls.

"there's a fight in 4-A!"

"palli palli!"

“if this is about him, i don’t want shit to do with it--”

“please.”

you frown at yunho's urgent expression, before he clasps his hands together and begs you with his eyes. you roll your eyes with frustration, nearly slamming your palms on the table to push yourself off your seat and follow behind yunho's large steps.

before you could even reach the classroom, there were already a bunch of students crowded outside. yunho's yelling at them to get out of the way only brought attention to you, and you couldn't help but to feel everybody's eyes shift between you and the commotion inside.

yunho shoves his way through the crowd, creating a path for you to move through as well. yunho rushes into the classroom, hurriedly intercepting the commotion while you look on with horror.

"hajima!" yunho stops mingi before he gives another blow to the other student rolling on the floor in pain. seonghwa and hongjoong rush to the one on the floor, while it takes san, wooyoung, yeosang and yunho to stop mingi from lunging forward.

you look around the classroom for jongho, the only one who's probably physically strong enough to hold mingi back, but the boy was missing, probably ran off to look for a teacher or something.

"look at her one more time and i'll kill you!" mingi's deep voice booms through the classroom, his volume high enough for it to ring through the hallways and attract more unwarranted attention. four boys were barely enough, because mingi was still trying to break free from yunho's hold. san and wooyoung were busy trying to push him backwards and yeosang was the only thing blocking mingi's view of the guy on the floor.

one of mingi's arms break free from yunho's grasp and he was so quick that he was already in yeosang's face. amongst all the yelling, shoving and pushing, you stormed up and stood right in front of yeosang, adding onto the human barrier.

mingi stops dead in his tracks like a deer in headlights, allowing yunho to grab his arms again while san and wooyoung keep their hold on his torso and shoulder. he looks down at you, allowing you to take notice of the almost-bleeding bruise on his right cheekbone.

"what are you doing?"

the side of mingi's nose twitches at your question. it was the authorial tone that made him realise that he had caused a fuss.

"song mingi, i asked you a question."

he looks away angrily, chest huffing from the brawl. he purses his lips tightly, violently shaking himself free from yunho's grasp and pushing both wooyoung and san's hands off him. they reluctantly back off a little, knowing that mingi wouldn't move a muscle if you were here.

seonghwa and hongjoong finally get the other boy off the floor, and jongho returns not with a teacher, but a first aid kit.

mingi's eyes were locked on the boy who lost to him in a fight, and you could see his arms trembling from the urge to lunge at him again. mingi takes one small shift in the boy's direction, and it cues you to mirror his movements.

"stop it," you shove his left shoulder with force. mingi looks down at you again, the muscles in the back of his jaw visibly tightening. "you've got nothing to prove by beating him up."

"he had your photos in his phone--"

"he could've gotten it off instagram--"

"he saved them into his phone, you think i would've seen him scrolling through your instagram page but i didn't!"

"even if he did, why do you care? it's none of your damn business anymore!"

mingi's eyes dull at your last statement. it had been easily two months since you and mingi broke up. he still wasn’t used to the way his full name spewed out through your lips instead of what you used to call him. he wasn’t used to the way you avoided a second glance at him. now, all you were to him was a stop button that his friends needed to keep him in check. 

what was the reason you broke up? the same reason why he was involved in this fight. the way mingi's need to protect you turned him into some violent mercenary was scaring you. to the point where he became over protective and even when you were simply talking to yunho, your classmate, mingi never looked at the situation brightly.

everyone at the scene fell silent, some students had their phone cameras facing the situation in the classroom. seonghwa was busy dressing the boy's wounds, hongjoong and jongho rushing through the crowd and warning them to stop filming.

"what good does this do, mingi? you want to protect me but you do it at the expense of my feelings and your safety. just because you're tall doesn't mean you're fucking invincible."

you look straight at his chest, noticing his name tag wasn't straight anymore and the pin was pulling on the material. you turn and look at the boy who was mercilessly beaten up by mingi, and you felt disgusted. this boy had been following you around school after your face appeared on the school's banner outside because you won an award for a written piece of work that was published in some news platform. it didn't help that you were dating mingi at the time and the relationship was slowly being dubbed as the school's prettiest couple.

you got a new stalker nearly a day after news of your break up hit school grounds. 

you hear someone walk up to you from behind, and you saw mingi's eyes shoot daggers at whoever it was who landed his hand on your shoulder.

"you should get him out of here before the teachers come. we'll explain that mingi didn't start it. we'll tell them about your photos in his phone and that he's been following you."

you nod at hongjoong's words, mingi's nostrils flaring up at the reminder that you were the reason your own stalker wasn't in an ambulance now.

"mingi, let's go," you try to hold his hand, but he shifts away at the contact. your head was calm, the anger slowly seeping away, but it broke your heart to see mingi so kept to himself, so angry. he was always happy when he was with you or his friends until someone showed any pinch of interest in you. "mingi, stop being an ass and let's go. we'll have a serious conversation about this, alright?"

mingi hears the sincerity and the small pang of plead in your voice, earning you his attention. mingi looks around him, at the tables and chairs that were messily strewn about the classroom now. he looks at his friends, eyes filled with guilt that he's created such a mess and his friends had to clean it up for him.

"mingi."

you voice visibly slams him back down into this moment.

"let's go. we'll talk about this."

you were lucky the fight was at the end of the day. you wanted to stay in school to study, but after this commotion, there was no way you or mingi could stay on compound without being hunted down by teachers or paparazzi-ed by other students. 

in the year you were with mingi, walking around school like the both of you owned it, mingi never misbehaved when he was with you. besides his friends and you, he wasn’t particularly favoured by teachers or other students. he was a delinquent being taken under your wing, a student whom the school deems as a role model. so, seeing mingi so well behaved when he usually wasn’t came as a surprise to many teachers and students alike. the bigger surprise was when news about you being his girlfriend surfaced.

the dynamics hasn’t changed much though, because you were trailing behind mingi and making sure he was walking in the direction back home. his home. you were worried that he was going to take off all of a sudden, knowing that his long limbs would take him twice the distance your legs would, even with more effort. but never did he once flinch, never did he once look back at you. you don’t think he even had that thought in his head.

all you knew was that he was still angry and upset with your stalker. mingi would’ve killed him back there had nobody stopped him. his balled fists that were stuffed in his pocket gave it all away.

you reach the familiar two-storied bungalow, the exterior of the building reminding you of mingi’s brightest smiles when he was with you. nobody would’ve guessed mingi lived here unless they were close enough to know that he was truly a child at heart. 

you watch as mingi hurls his bag across the edge of his living room, the large glass panels allowing the reflection off the pool water to blanket the surface of the marble floor. he pulls off his uniform blazer and dumps himself on the sofa, looking up at you with stone cold eyes. 

you sigh with a frown cemented into your forehead, placing your bag nicely against the side of the sofa. how am i going to knock sense into him if he’s still this angry?

“mingi, i--”

“i only have one question to ask and you only need to answer it honestly,” mingi’s low voice rumbles through your head. you felt your brow twitch and your hands start to sweat. you folded your arms across your chest, tightening the school blazer around your shoulders. 

“was that one year nothing to you?”

you glared at him with a mix of emotions. how shallow of him to think that it was easy to break up with him... but you couldn’t give in. he’ll never change.

“you’re right. it was nothing.” your frown disappears and you tilt your head to the side. you hated to say it, because you don’t mean it. but you could tell that it crushed mingi. the way his eyes flashed when you said it didn’t mean anything gave his feelings away. 

“really?” mingi stands up. “so all that talk about me becoming a better person and you helping me with that... it was for nothing?” 

you felt your brow twitch again, your chest suddenly starting to feel tight. mingi was well aware you hated the height difference between the two of you, because it was the only thing that reminded you that he was the one who gave in to you. he chose to let you have control over him, otherwise, you would’ve always been on the losing end. 

you gulp as you watched mingi take small, slow steps toward you, his hands in his pockets. there was a mess of thread around the material on his chest where the name tag was supposed to be. his white uniform was supposed to be buttons up all the way to the top with a tie, but since the break up, he’s never worn his tie once. 

he was now looking straight into your soul, almost like looking for a hint that you were lying. you were great at it, because you needed it to prevent mingi from breaking out into any angry phases, so you were sure it was going to take mingi a lot besides staring at you to tell if you were lying. 

you sucked in a deep breath so hard that your nostrils turned sour at the cool air in the bungalow. mingi was now barely a metre away from you, the height difference getting more painfully obvious, the ache from the angle your neck needed to tilt backwards becoming difficult to ignore. 

“was it?” mingi raised his arm and landed his palm on the wall next to your head, forcing you to shift back toward it and finally break eye contact at the lack of space. you just lost a fight you never had a chance of winning. 

you felt a chill run down your spine upon the contact with the wall, mingi’s tall physique fully covering yours. anybody standing behind mingi wouldn’t be able to see you at all. you turn away, looking at the corner where the wall joins with the large front door. you could feel mingi’s breathing getting heavier on your left ear, the sensation telling you that he was leaning forward. 

“i think you should know that you can’t lie when you’re panicking.”

you shut your eyes tightly, begging your heart to stop throbbing like crazy in your chest and the sweat to stop forming on your forehead. you felt the space before your face open up, only to feel mingi’s head press against your chest, right below the knot of your tie. 

you wince softly, at the physical contact, knowing that he was only doing this to soften you and dig you out of your cold exterior. you knew he would never hurt you, but it was this side of him that he never showed in school when he was with you. you were the one with authority in everybody’s eyes, but it was only because mingi allows it.

“oh, my girl...” you could already imagine the smirk that formed on his face when he heard your heart rate skyrocketing. “stop panicking. you can’t lie when you panic.”

you gritted your teeth and turn your head to look up at the ceiling. mingi pulls away and stands up straight, watching you turn your head to the side again. desperation was written all over your face and your stiff posture did not do anything to help your case. he already knew you lost and had given up keeping up your emotionless facade. 

“no,” he shakes his head and pulls your chin back towards him. “look at me.”

you saw your own reflection in his eyes as he studied your face, a small smirk creeping up on the side of his lips, knowing that his simple but bold gestures had ridden you of any will to fight with him, psychologically. 

“an honest answer,” mingi’s eyes traveled from your lips to your eyes, both his arms that caged you never faltering. “so i’ll ask again.”

“was that one year for nothing?”

you breathed like you were about to cry and reluctantly, you shook your head. mingi’s eyes softened the moment he picked up on your movements. a few moments of tense and awkward atmosphere hung in the air between the two of you, before he crashed his lips onto yours, hungrily taking in the sweet taste of you that he had missed in the last two months. 

your head was capable of convincing yourself the hardest things to believe, but your heart won this time round. you were still in love with mingi, and the true reason why you chose to broke up with him was because you couldn’t bear to see him hurt himself by getting into fights with other people. 

mingi pulls away from your face, grabbing your arms and wrapping them around his shoulders while he lowered himself to make it easier for you. “then why leave me?” 

“i didn’t want you to get hurt over me--” your breath hitched in your throat as he dips his nose into your neck, feeling his lips press into your soft, sensitive skin. 

“i’m listening.” 

you roll your eyes and shut them tightly, feeling mingi shift all around you but never actually seeing it happen. you felt your blazer loosening as the buttons came undone, and before you knew it, you felt mingi’s fingers play a game of push and pull with the knot of your tie around your collar. 

“i know how you get protective over me... but i couldn’t bear to see you get hurt because of some douchebag who doesn’t know who he should be looking at--” mingi gets the top few buttons of your white button down uniform undone, and the skin of your chest get exposed to the heat between the two of you.

“mingi--”

“do you still love me?”

you open your eyes at the question, looking at his face which belonged to the mingi you recognised. his strong features now displaying the soft, kind mingi he was only when he was with you or his friends. 

“i only asked you if the last one year meant anything. but it doesn’t mean you still love me if you said it meant something...” mingi rests a palm on the wall again, the other hand tracing the edge of your jaw while his thumb brushes over your lower lip. “so if you don’t love me anymore, then i respect it. but if you do, then it’ll be nice if i knew.”

you knew you couldn’t say it, because it just wasn’t your thing. so instinctively, you wrap your arms tighter around his shoulders to pull him in. you could only hope that he managed to decode the answer in the way you kissed him like you’ve never done before. 

[waywardfangirl]

Both @captain-aralias and @palimpsessed ​did really nice posts to share their fics from this year as well as their thoughts on what they wrote, and I enjoyed reading their posts (and their fics!) so much that I thought I would take them up on their open invitation to do one too! I’m a big believer in keeping lists of your accomplishments to look at on days when self-doubt creeps in, so I encourage anyone else who might be interested to do this too! (All the questions are copied from @captain-aralias)

List of Completed Fics this year:

I wrote ten fics this year, as well as starting a ton of WIPs, which is amazing to me, considering I have only written fic once before in my life!

Slow - General, 3k

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore - Teen, 28k

Promises - General, 3k

A Privilege to Love You - Teen, 7k

Early Riser - General, >1k

Write This Down - General, 3k

As You Wish - Teen, 13k

The View from the Veranda - General, 4k

Down By The Sea - General, 2k

Just Want You to Know Who I Am - General, 1k (written in 2020, posted in 2021)

Total: 10 fics, 67k words, 100% Snowbaz

Pretty good for what is truly the first year that I have been an active participant in fandom!

Questions answered below the cut.

Best/worst title?

A Privilege to Love You is my favorite title, because I think the line is just so sweet, and it makes my heart melt.

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore is definitely my worst title, because that was just the placeholder name I gave the WIP, but then I got so used to it I forgot to change it to something better before posting. I still cringe a bit at that one.

Best/worst summary?

l am horrifically indecisive, so I have a few summaries that I like. Just Want You To Know Who I Am is short and sweet, and I think it conveys exactly what I want it to:

Baz is fine. He's fine. Everything is fine. (It just isn't.)

~A fic about being loved in all the little ways~

But I also really liked the quotes I pulled for The View from the Veranda, As You Wish, and A Privilege to Love You.

Early Riser also has a summary that I let break my heart:

Baz wakes up early now, even though Simon doesn’t.

I does very little to convey what the fic is about, but after reading the fic it hurts like I wanted it to, sooo.....

I think that Promises has the worst summary though:

Inspired by the song "Promises" from the musical Hadestown.

Simon and Baz have spent the last three years working on themselves and on their relationship. Now it's time for their next step together.

Best/worst first line?

Baz says it best to open The View from the Veranda:

I am not a man accustomed to enduring want.

However, Simon deserves an honorable mention for starting us off right in As You Wish:

Baz is such a prick.

As for worst opening lines, I don’t really think I have any. I have some that stand better as an opening paragraph than an opening line, but I place a lot of importance on the first line of a story, so I like to make sure all mine are strong.

Best/worst last line?

I am not going to spoil any last lines for anyone (I cover up the last page of books when I read to reveal it slowly, word by word, so I take last lines seriously!), but I will say that As You Wish has an adorably predictable last line that I love.

For worst last line, I have to say Slow. I liked the line itself when I wrote it, but then I learned later that people were interpreting it in a more steamy way than what I had intended, and because I feel like Slow is such an innocent fic and really highlights how important it is for Simon to not be rushed into every decision he makes, I don’t like that it sounds like he and Baz rushed into something else. (I just meant that they talked and maybe kissed a bit! That’s it!)

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

On December 31st, 2019, I was pet sitting when I came across a prompt for a Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement Snowbaz AU. I impulsively started to write, even though I had only written one other fic in my life (Check, Please!), and I had never written Snowbaz before. I kind of thought that maybe I would write one fic and that would be all, and that maybe one fic is all I would ever write, but I am so happy to have been wrong about that! I wrote way more than I could have predicted, and I even did NaNoWriMo! (I failed NaNoWriMo too, and I’m okay with that, because I want writing to be something I do for fun, not something that stresses me out.)

As a fun side note, Carry On is a fandom that I have returned to many times in my life, and it seems to have a special place on New Year’s Eve/New Year’s Day for me. I was given Fangirl as a Christmas present, and started reading it on New Year’s Eve, only to finish it and realize that the new year had arrived while I was engrossed in the book. I have spent multiple New Year’s Eves since engrossed in a reread of the book, or reading fic, and so it feels really fitting that I got into properly writing fic for Carry On as the year turned over.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

Literally all of this was unexpected, as I never planned on writing any more fic, but I think I am most surprised to have written multiple songfics. I never read many songfics, and didn’t often care for them, but I wrote Promises off of the song from Hadestown, Write This Down off of George Strait’s song, and then Just Want You to Know Who I Am because Caity got the Goo Goo Dolls stuck in my head.

What’s your favourite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

My favorite might actually be my most popular, so I’ll go with my close second favorites (it’s a tie)

A Privilege to Love You is a soulmate au, and those are my favorite things ever. I also received some of the best feedback on this one, and I feel like I did a lot of things that worked really well in this fic.

The View from the Veranda is just so wonderful for me though, it combines my love of history with absolute silliness for a friend (I love you Liz!!!), @krisrix did some INCREDIBLE art for it, and I just had so much fun writing it.

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

As You Wish was the most popular, hands down, with more hits, kudos, comments, and bookmarks than any other fic I wrote. It’s also the fic of mine that I reread the most, because it makes me so happy and I love all the silly moments.

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

We’re Not in Genovia Anymore is probably the answer here. This isn’t entirely backed up by metrics, since it does have more hits and kudos than some of my other fics, but for how long it is and the work that went into it, I think it only got a portion of the attention I was hoping it would. That’s mostly my fault though! It was the first fic I wrote for this fandom, and so I have definitely grown as a write since! Additionally, while I feel like it has a lot of great moments and fantastic lines, I have some lackluster bits too, and it really suffered from not having a beta (I was too shy to ask anyone back then). It’s also an AU of a movie that isn’t as widely viewed as I previously thought, so that didn’t help either, and as I already said, this fic could have a much better title.

All that aside though, the people who have read and talked to me about this fic have really seemed to like it, so I’m glad that I did right by my fellow Princess Diaries 2 fans! (and all of the wonderful people who read it and commented nice things having never seen the movie, y’all rock!)

Story that could have been better?

Everything I wrote before asking someone to beta. I just talked about what I would improve in We’re Not In Genovia Anymore, but Promises could use some work too. Having a few wonderful friends help me edit my fics has really improved what I post!

Sexiest story?

Oh gosh, I am not someone who writes sexy things.

Having said that, The View from the Veranda was written in the style of a bodice ripper, so I think that makes it the sexiest story by default. Kris’s art also enhances its sex appeal by at least 200% (I laughed out loud when I was making the list at the start of this post, because I had entirely forgotten that fic is rated G - honestly, that tells you everything you need to know about me, my romance novel fic can be read by children haha) (I might give it a T rating at some point, just because I feel like it should have that)

**I just remembered the bonus chapter for As You Wish.... that might be the sexiest thing I’ve written haha 🤣

Saddest story?

Early Riser - I am a big believer in giving everyone who deserves it a happy ending, but this one is just an interlude of sadness and depression without any resolution in sight.

(If you read it though, please know that in my head they do get therapy and things do get better! Snowbaz always has a happy ending in my fics, even if I don’t write it out fully)

Most fun?

As You Wish - this one to me feels like the happy chaos of running and sliding around a big house in stocking feet, and I don’t have a better way to describe it than that. There’s a tiny bit of angst from Baz, and a little bit of panic from Simon, but I was smiling and having so much fun while writing this fic, and I really think it comes across.

Story with single sweetest moment?

A Privilege to Love You - I’ll let you decide which of the many sweet moments is actually the sweetest ❤

Hardest story to write?

Promises, no question about it. I had written two fics by that point, and people had been so nice, and some of you lovely folks had even started tagging me in WIP Wednesday posts and in Six Sentence Sunday posts, but I felt like I had no inspiration left and I kept worrying that I wouldn’t be able to write again. So, I forced myself to write something, and it felt like pulling teeth (and it honestly wasn’t very good), but I gifted it to the person who had been my biggest cheerleader and who had tagged me a million times, and that’s how @foolofabookwyrm and I became friends. Writing the fic sucked, but her friendship is worth it, a million times over 💜💜💜

Easiest/most fun story to write?

The View from the Veranda. I’m a historian, and I work a lot with primary sources and spend time speaking with others in 18th century language, so once I got into my “work mindset” the words just flowed. This was also a silly, happy story for me, because I included a lot of jokes for Liz, and there are a ton of details that are just hilarious if you work at the same place I do (sorry that none of you do, but let me just tell you, the descriptions of Simon are all based off of my most attractive colleague, and at least 15% of this fic is silly quotes from work). I think this was only supposed to be about a thousand words long, and I messaged Kris multiple times while writing just to tell him that it was getting out of control and I couldn’t stop writing 😂

Did any stories shift your perceptions of the characters?

Writing for Agatha in We’re Not in Genovia Anymore really made realize how much some of her (canon) story resounded with me, and I liked the deeper character study I ended up doing for her. I’m still always going to be the most in love with Baz, but I have a deeper connection to Agatha now too.

Most overdue story?

It’s still overdue. I have so many WIPs, at least seven of which are soulmate AUs, and I just keep starting more. In terms of actual planned release date though? I started writing a The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue AU for NaNoWriMo, with the intention of publishing it in January. It’s already the longest fic I’ve ever written, and I don’t think I’m even a quarter of the way done with it. I wasn’t happy writing for NaNo, because I don’t do well with creativity on a deadline, and I chose to pause work on that fic so I can actually enjoy writing it and end up with something I like once I finally return to it. Apologies to those who are anxiously awaiting the fic, I do hope to finish it this year, and I won’t post until it’s all done, so you’ll get a very rapid update schedule when it does come out!

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

I signed up for my first fandom event! I participated in the Secret Snowflake event, and wrote Down By The Sea for the wonderful @fight-surrender (and ended up with ideas for some other new fics too)! Even though I was actively failing NaNoWriMo when I signed up, I did manage to complete my fic on time, and I learned that it wasn’t quite as daunting as I was expecting it to be. (My biggest problem was my laptop breaking and having to do almost everything on my phone - I also learned once again just how amazing Liz is, as she helped me format and post to ao3, since I couldn’t do that properly without a computer)

I struggle with being creative on a deadline, but wanting to write a little over 1k in a month was much more achievable than feeling stressed about writing 50k in a month!

This year’s theme and the story that demonstrates it most:

I like the idea of the inevitability of love. I adore soulmate AUs, because I love the idea of a universe where not only does someone have a perfectly matched other person, but that there is a surefire way to find them. Even though I only published one soulmate AU this year, I feel like every time I write Snowbaz I am writing about a couple where love will, inevitably, win. In my mind they are always going to have a happy ending somewhere down the line where they are just purely in love. Even though love doesn’t magically fix everything, it’s still incredibly powerful, and I only want to create stories where Simon and Baz truly love each other.

Of course, with that as the theme, A Privilege to Love You has to be the fic that best demonstrates the idea of inevitable love - it’s a soulmate AU and a universe where Simon exercises his free will.

What are your fic writing goals for next year this year?

Finish and publish my Gentleman’s Guide AU

Finish and publish more soulmate AUs (I have so many WIPs you guys)

Plan more before writing

Work on improving dynamic scenes and the overall flow of my fics - I sometimes feel like I have too many lulls, and I want to write in a more engaging way

Promote my own work more! I am partially doing this post because there are multiple fics that I never shared on here! I plan to make banners for all of the fics I write this year, and to post them on tumblr at the same time I upload them to ao3.

The last few years have been a time of tremendous personal growth for me, and I really feel like I’m starting to understand who I am as a person, settle into myself, and like who I am. I’m thrilled to discover that fandom is still part of who I am and what I enjoy, and that I have more creative outlets in my life now than I ever expected to. My biggest goal is just to keep building on all of that, to use fic to explore who I am, to reflect what I like, make myself happy with my writing, and to hopefully make at least a few of you happy with my stories too!

[thatkidwhodreams]

Alone

I have written absolute shit so forgive me as I haven’t written in over a year. When I write in 3rd person its usually sad so brace yourselves. The best way to summarise this is the song Stay Over-Happy so you might want to listen to that or Chord Overstreet-Hold On whilst reading this.

Masterlist

Warnings: Talks of depression, a lot of crying and some missing commas and there is a huge rant

She felt alone. It was strange as she appeared to have a lot of friends who cared about her and wanted her to succeed in life. But that wasn’t enough for her as she had always had this void inside her which made her feel unlike herself. She felt like there was always something wrong with her when she felt sad and depressed as if no one would come to save her. 

The only thing that made her smile was her boyfriend Shawn whom she had been with for about 3 years. He always managed to make her smile with his music and songs dedicated just to her and no one else. The world would assume he was talking about a mystery woman but deep down she knew it was about her. She wasn’t ready to become exposed to social media like her boyfriend was as she knew she wouldn’t be able to stand the hate that would come with it and although she knew she was strong and a badass bitch but there would always be something in her tugging her strings and making her feel low-spirited.

It was 9pm and she had just gotten off a call with her closest friends. They called her every day and that she was very grateful for but there was something wrong again. Shawn had just walked into the apartment from a long day at the studio and immediately he knew something was up as the aura and mood in the room had become dull and not like the carefree, joyful and positive one he would always come home to. 

“Babe! I’m getting depressing vibes in this house again! What’s wrong?” He yelled as he walked into their mini bedroom, their getaway place.

“Nothing is wrong.” She replied. “I’m fine. How was work?”

“I’m not answering your question until you answer mine first. Now tell me, what’s gotten my baby upset?”

She tried to open her mouth but all that came out was a small whimper and before she knew it she burst into tears. The waterfall that exceeded from her eyes was enough to break Shawn’s heart as he could not stand the thought of his girlfriend crying and being unable to do anything about it. So instead he grabbed her waist, hugged her and rubbed her back up and down as she cried into his shoulder. 

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I get depressed sometimes and I don’t know exactly why. I have everything I need to be happy which many people don’t have and I feel like I don’t have a right to be upset.” She cried taking short breaths in between.

Shawn could only listen as she ranted about how she had been feeling for the past few weeks but bottled it up and still managed to emit positivity into everyone around her.

“Sometimes I feel ignored and I think people don’t care about my feelings or what I have to say but I have to pretend I don’t care but deep down I do. It’s hard having to pretend to be happy all the time and making sure you don’t cry in front of people because I hate looking weak and I don’t want to dump a whole load of my problems on someone else because they most likely do not give a fuck.”

“I absolutely love making friends and socialising with people even though you usually catch me at home.” She chuckled a little. “But I get to a very dark place and I get jealous at other people’s happy lives and friendships with others even though I have my own. I haven’t felt this way in a while but seeing everyone so happy whilst you’re not really hurts and constantly logging out of my accounts so I can take a break and fix myself is also very painful.”

“Constantly having to tell yourself to ’shut up’ because you’re annoying people even though they don’t tell you but you just have a feeling that they don’t like you and don’t want to tell you or telling yourself ‘you’re crazy’ or ‘you’re mad’ because you’ve just said or done the dumbest thing to someone who doesn’t even know you and even though they may not think I’m annoying or dumb I always feel it. 

As she was coming to the end of her rant, Shawn shed a few tears as he had no idea that she felt this way. She explained to him that nobody did, but as her boyfriend Shawn still felt extremely guilty for not spotting it sooner. 

“It’s not your fault.” She reassured him. “If anything I’m happy that you’re the person I can talk to and I appreciate that you’re always around even with your schedule.” 

Shawn smiled a little bit. However, the sadness in that smile gave the fact that he felt responsible away. “It’s okay to be upset and sad. You have every right to feel this way okay?” She nodded sniffing a little. “Even those with the most company and friends feel downhearted and dejected. If you ever feel this way again remember your friends, family and I are always here if you need someone to talk to.”

“I don’t want to feel like a burden to you or anyone else.” She replied

“I guarantee you you won’t, I’d rather listen to your problems than let you become even more depressed.” 

She smiled as he consoled her but tears still ran down her face. After a while she began to feel tired and sleepy. She let out a little yawn and Shawn could tell she was tired from crying and it took a toll on her. 

He laid her on the bed and cuddled next to her as her eyes became heavier and heavier. She took a long deep breath as she fell into deep sleep but not without hearing the final words from her favourite person.

“Go to sleep baby, I promise to give you the world when you wake up.”

If you didn’t realise that girl is me. Yes I was ranting about myself through a fictional character. I usually write my feelings in a diary on my phone and keep it in but I decided to express myself through my writing this time. I’m sure a lot of people feel like this too and if you do feel please feel free to talk to me, sometimes it’s nice to talk to someone who knows exactly what you are going through. If I made you cry I’m sorry.❤️

Tag list: @lostinshawnsmemory​ @littlekidsteve​ @fallinfortom​ @begginyouformendes​ @abcdefanfics​ @shawnscxlvins​ @2018shawn​ @lavenderhoneymndes​ @wildflower-lu​ @littlemissbaksi​

[marshmallow-phd]

Midnight Hours

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Summary: For you, being a good witch was easier said than done. Something dark was lurking inside of you and the others knew it. When you’re forced to tag along with Soomi and help a local wolfpack face a coming evil, you’re sent on a path that breaks into a crossroads. While you struggle with your inner demons, could the wolf Sehun be the key to your ultimate fate?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I 11 I 12 I 13 I 14 I 15 I 16 I 17 I Final

**

“No, no, no, no, no, no!”

This was your fault. All your fault. All because of your stupidity. Now you might be losing one of the most important people in your life. Sehun was limp in your arms but he was still breathing. You didn’t know whether to have hope or to begin mourning from that motion.  

“(y/n)?”

Through your blurred vision, you looked up to find Junmyeon kneeling in front of you in his human form. His hands were held cautiously out in front of him as if he were trying to communicate with a wild animal. And maybe that’s what you were. They may be the ones who could transform into dogs, but you were the barbaric one. Look at what your decisions had done.

“I did this to him,” you whispered, lowering your eyes back to the man who hadn’t given up on you.

“No, you didn’t,” Junmyeon reassured you. His hands laid over yours. Though they were warm like Sehun’s, they didn’t give the comfort you were needing. But you didn’t fight him as he removed your grip and took Sehun in his own arms. A new pair of hands landed on your shoulders, making you jump.

Soomi smiled down at you. Relief and love shined through her brown eyes absent of all the judgement you surely deserved. “Let’s go, (y/n).”

Instead of standing up and following the alpha, however, you broke down. You sobbed as Soomi wrapped her love-filled arms around you. She let you crumble into her chest. There was nothing but her love for you, no anger, no hatred for what you’d done. Despite what you’d seen, you should have known that she was not Tatia. Down to the very last moment, she was only Soomi, who truly cared.

Sehun was right. You were loved. More than you’d ever known.

**

The chair was not comfortable. The wooden seat made your back ache and there was a numbing sensation buzzing through your legs, but you still didn’t move. You stayed there by Sehun’s side, hands firmly wrapped tight around his own.

He was still asleep, wrapped up with bandages that covered the concoction Soomi had created to help the burns heal.

Apparently, the fire that came from Molia’s hands was structurally different than regular fire, enhanced and altered by magic - hence why the vampire didn’t turn herself into ash whenever she used it. Somehow, though, the fire also kept the wolf’s accelerated healing ability from working as well.

All night and well into the afternoon of the next day, you’d stayed by his side, not letting go of him for a second, except for the one time you went to the restroom. You’d even managed to eat the one meal you’d accepted from Lottie with one hand. Down in the basement, you knew Evie was in the same position.

That woman was a saint. She had to be. Even as you apologized and groveled for her forgiveness for Kris getting hurt, she never shouted or grew upset, giving you the blame you so deserved. She’d told you it would be alright and disappeared to be with her husband.

Not everyone was as forgiving or understanding. A few of the wolves - Tao and Baekhyun in particular - gave you narrow-eyed looks. That was the other - although extremely small - part of the reason you stayed up in Sehun’s room. You wanted to avoid the other people you’d put in danger. At least until Sehun was up and you were able to cower behind him.

Another person you hadn’t expected to be so kind towards you was Mother Willow. At first she hadn’t come back to the farmhouse with the rest of you, taking the coven with her. Your initial guess was that she was giving you time before the scolding and lecturing and consequences began. But no. Instead, she’d gone to find out more about Molia. You’d given Soomi the information you knew, who’d then passed it onto Mother Willow.

Now that Molia was dead, all her protective magic was gone too, making it easy for the coven to find her hideout. Apparently, she’d been in town an extended peroid, staying in a nice hotel room while putting together her malicious plot. Her diaries were even found. The insight discovered within those pages… it only increased your guilt.

“She wasn’t always so full of hate,” Mother Willow told you. When she’d entered in the early morning hours, you’d let her have your chair while you sat on the bed next to Sehun. Your eyes stayed on him while your ears took in the newest information discovered.

“Was it her coven?” you asked fearfully.

“Partially,” Mother Willow confirmed. “But it was also that vampire. She met him one night while gathering Evening Primrose. Witches and vampires were more sociable with each other back then, so they struck up a friendship. At night, she would meet him by the caves near her village and he would tell her of the world he’d seen. He fed into her fears of her coven turning against her.”

Closing her eyes, Mother Willow took a deep breath and let it out. A moment or so went by before she opened them again.

“I suspect that he might be the one truly behind the accident.”

That was the comment that made you peel your eyes away from Sehun. “The accident?” Molia’s screams from the memory of her “death” bombarded your ears. “What accident?”

Telling you all of this seemed to be taking its toll on her, though she continued anyway. “According Molia’s diary, she was by the river, arguing with Tatia. Her emotions surged, causing the water to rise and crash down on the banks. Tatia’s niece was playing nearby… she drowned. But she hadn’t been anywhere near the river. Molia had written in later entries that perhaps the vampire had come in and killed her, throwing her in the river to make it look like she drowned in the waves.”

“Th-that’s why the elders tried to bind her powers?”

Mother Willow nodded. “It would seem so.” With wrinkly fingers, she reached out and grasped one of your hands. “Though the details were never recorded, we knew the reason Molia had lost control was because she was given free reign of her powers. The mothers back then kept a watchful eye, but no one knew how to teach her, so they let her teach herself. We thought we could learn from their mistake by doing the opposite.”

You gently squeezed the brittle limb that held on tightly to you as if you’d run away again at the first chance. “Maybe there is no right or wrong way. Maybe we all have to find out who we are and how to manage that on our own.”

“But a little guidance along the way could help,” she smiled. It was a small one, barely visible among the folds in her face. You never really knew how old Mother Willow was – she always seemed like this perfectly preserved grandmother, never changing, never giving away the secret of her origins.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t return the smile she shared with you. “I still don’t understand, though.”

“Understand?”

“Yes. I don’t understand how she could choose the route she took to get here, even if she was manipulated by the vampire all those years ago.” While you knew the reasons Molia had given you – with her sweet words of a world where you didn’t have to be afraid of yourself – you didn’t believe that was her true motivation.

Mother Willow sighed. “We can never know for sure. But she was full of hatred – hatred for her own kind, hatred for herself. I believe that she was simply out for blood. She wanted control over the people who tried to control her.”

“But why wait four hundred years to try it?” you asked. “Why not go after them when she first woke up as a vampire?”

“Waking up to an immortal life is not as simple as waking up for the day. She had many things she had to learn, such as control over her thirst and how to balance her old and new powers. And you saw for yourself – she couldn’t control everybody, even at the height of her power under the blood moon. She needed help. She needed you.”

You scoffed. “And she knew I would come along?”

“Eventually,” Mother Willow nodded. “She knew eventually someone like her would come along and face the same fear and suspicion that she did. And she would use that to her advantage.”

She certainly did.

You fell for it all; small moments of doubt had crept in, but you ignored them in favor of being accepted and exploring your powers. Now… now you would be lying if you said you weren’t afraid of them yourself. No, you could never go back to hiding or suppressing them, but you feared that they could someday take over again.

“You are very lucky, you know.”

You blinked, looking up at Mother Willow as she let go of your hand and stood from her seat. “How is that?”

Her eyes fell from you to the sleeping wolf. “While we’re very much alike – wolves and witches – the dark history can never be forgotten. Not entirely. It might be because of that history that a mate bond being formed between the two is rare, almost as rare as your gifts. But Mother Fate – she knew what she was doing, tying the two of you together. He never gave up on you. His faith… it’s stronger than any spell. Soomi said that he searched the woods for you for three days, from the moment you disappeared. He is the greatest gift of all.”

You were stunned into silence, watching Mother Willow exit the bedroom. Even after the door was shut and her footsteps had faded away, you kept staring after her. Could what she said be true? Could he really have searched for you all that time, forgetting all about the argument that had taken place just before?

As if answering your question, a heavy sigh escaped Sehun’s lips, pulling your attention back to him.

“Please, wake up,” you whispered. There was so much you needed to say and you needed him to be able to understand, to actually hear the words that would leave your mouth.

Hours passed by. You’d shifted back into the wooden seat to hold Sehun’s hand at a more comfortable angle.

All throughout the time he was asleep, his brothers and their mates came to check up on him. Disappointment and worry decorated their faces whenever you informed them that there still was no change, no sign of him waking up. Kris had apparently already started to heal and was up walking around. That bit of news had given you hope, but you couldn’t drown out the tiny voice of doubt in your head. It constantly told you that this was your fault and that you were probably never going to be able to see those brown eyes again, the ones that soften after a single glance in your direction or that sparkled with mischief when he was too quiet.

Afternoon was slowly drifting into evening. You could feel your eyelids growing heavy, begging for a small amount of relief. You hadn’t slept in almost two days and it was taking its toll. Perhaps… just a quick nap. You weren’t leaving or letting go of his hand. You would… still… be here….

It felt like no sooner had you closed your eyes and rested your head on the edge of the bed that you felt like you were being shaken awake.

“(y/n)? (y/n)?”

Groaning, you lifted your head in a sloth-like motion, eyes blinking away the sleep to find out who’d awaken you.

Smirking at you as he sat up in bed was Sehun. His dark eyes shimmered through the blurriness of your own.

“Oh, my god!”

You threw yourself onto him, not thinking nor really caring about his wounds in the moment. He was awake. He was finally awake and that was all that mattered. You heard him hold back and “oomph” as you landed on him, but it was quickly drowned out by your sobs.

“I’m sorry,” you choked out as you buried your face in his chest. “I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I’m sorry.”

He softly “shhed” in your ear as the tears rolled down your cheeks. In a soothing motion, he swayed you back and forth, even reaching behind you to bring your legs up on the bed so you were lying beside him.

Over and over, you cried out your apologies, each individual sorry for one action or another. There were other things you wanted to say, but none of them would come to surface.

“Stop apologizing,” Sehun said in that even voice of his. Usually you would have been annoyed as his lack of emotion, but right now you’d take each miracle as they came to you without complaint.

Pushing yourself up so you could look at him full, you wiped away the tears. “Why? It’s my fault you got hurt and-”

He kissed you. “I’d let myself get hurt over again if it meant you came home.”

Home. A simple word yet one with such a heavy meaning. You’d never felt as if you had one, but now? Now you held it in your very hands. Because Sehun was your home. And you’d come back to him every time.

Overwhelmed with emotion, you sought to release it the only way you knew how.

With Sehun’s warm cheeks in your palms, you leapt forward and crashed your lips into his. Control of the kiss was not yours for long. Sehun flipped you over so he was now hovering above you. One hand rested on your hip while the other caressed your face. Your tears had dried up and the cracks that you’d created in your own heart were beginning to heal. The scars would still be there forever, but if this was the medicine needed to ease the pain, you’d spend a lifetime taking it in.

Looping one arm under your back, Sehun scooped you up and brought you to a sitting position. You hooked your legs around his hips, clinging to him in desperation. His wounds didn’t seem to be bother him at all as he barely broke the kiss to expertly slip your long-sleeved shirt over your head. The cold air of the room nipped at your bare shoulders.

Sehun huffed at the camisole you’d been wearing underneath, but as his fingers played with the hem, you dived back in for another kiss, unable to go too long without one. Subconsciously, you must have heard the rumble of the floor, but you were too preoccupied to interpret what it might have been.

Slam!

The thundering herd suddenly came to a stop in the doorway as you jumped from the intrusion.

“Oh thank god you’re awake,” Chanyeol sighed with relief.

“I’d say he’s a little more than awake,” Jongdae snickered. Sehun growled at the comment, pulling you in tight to his chest with both arms wrapped around your waist.

“Sehun!”

Junmyeon pushed and shoved his way through the crowd of wolves to get to the front where he could see the proof for himself. Not even thinking, he ran forward and squeezed in between the two of you, practically choking the youngest wolf in the tightest of hugs.

“I’m alright, Junmyeon,” Sehun grumbled. His eyes flickered to you in a desperate attempt to get you to help him escape from the embrace, but there was no way you were going to save him from the alpha.

Eventually, Junmyeon let go, stepping back with a sigh. “That’s it. No more witches, no more rival packs, no more hunters. From now on, we are a normal pack with no troubles whatsoever.”

“Um, Junmyeon?” Jongin spoke up. “You do realize that’s impossible for us, right? I mean, at least with the ‘no witches or hunters’ part.”

Junmyeon looked at you with a tiny bit of shame. “Oh. Right. Not including you or Harper, of course.”

You waved a hand. “No offense taking. I think we could all use a bit of normalcy now.”

“Definitely not possible with this crowd,” Kris chuckled as he leaned against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. He gave you a slight nod as if fully accepting you into the pack with that simple gesture. “It’ll be nice to have some quiet around here, though.”

“I don’t think it’s going to be quiet anytime soon,” said Baekhyun. “Especially with Harper being pregnant and I’m sure soon there’ll be more on the way.”

Your jaw dropped. “Wait! You guys know? Since when?”

Sehun’s eyes went wide in your direction. “Since when have you known?”

Oh. Oops. “N-not too long.”

“We’ve only known for a day or so,” Minseok explained. “Only after hearing the two of them talk about it… very loudly.”

Your curiosity was rising as to how that whole scenario went down, but you decided you’d talk to Harper about it later – at a more appropriate time.

“So, now that you all know that I’m awake and fine, can you leave now?” Sehun may have phrased it like a question, but there was no actual asking behind the tone.

“Are you sure you’re in good enough health for that?” Tao teased.

“Are you sure you’re in good enough health for that?” Sehun mocked before throwing a pillow at the other wolf. It was easily dodged, but they got the idea and scattered, Junmyeon being the last to leave and closing the door behind him. Sighing, Sehun turned back to you. “Now, where were we?”

You pursed your lips. You weren’t entirely on board with what you were about to say, but you felt like it needed to be done. “As much as I hate to agree with Tao, I think I should. You still need to heal up after what Molia did to you.”

“I’m fine,” he insisted. Hooking a finger through one of the belt loops on your jeans, he pulled you in closer. “Besides, if I remember correctly, the last time we really talked was when we argued. That means we have a lot of making up to do.”

You couldn’t help but giggle as his cheesy lines. “Down boy.”

He shook his head. “Not this time.”

**

You didn’t think you were ready for this. It was an inevitability, unavoidable and an absolute. But even though you’d walked yourself through it several times over the last few days, you still weren’t ready for it. So you were hiding on the front porch steps while everyone else was inside.

Soomi and Mother Willow’s cottage had been your two constants in life. You were more than prepared to leave behind the cottage and move into the farmhouse with Sehun permanently, but saying goodbye to Soomi? That was another ordeal entirely.

Sure, there had been times where she’d gone on short research trips or visited other covens, but you knew she was coming back and she was only gone for a week, maybe two at the most. This time, though, she would leave and you didn’t know when you would see her again. Your life was moving on in a way you’d never imagined nor expected and it hurt more than you’d ever thought possible.

You tried to suppress the sniff that came with the single tear, but the sound came out anyway. You didn’t want to think about the suitcase place conspicuously beside the door just inside the parlor. She couldn’t stay, you knew that. That didn’t mean your feelings suddenly went away as well.

Sehun was healed to the point that it was as if the injuries never happened in the first place. The blood moon was here and gone and you weren’t having any more visions of possible evils to come. Life was calm again which meant it had to go on. Soomi was no longer needed here – by the pack, at least. You would always need her. Part of you considered asking Junmyeon if she could stay, but that wasn’t fair to anyone involved besides yourself. And you’d been selfish enough.

“You’re breaking my heart, being like this.”

You tried to hurriedly wipe away the evidence of your sadness. It was useless, though, as Soomi sat down beside you on the steps, an arm draped around your back.

“I’m going to miss you,” you confessed without prompt.

“And I’ll miss you,” she replied. “But you’re not alone. And I’m only a call away, if you really need me.”

You rolled your eyes, more at yourself and the sappiness coming out of you rather than Soomi’s promise. “I’ll always need you.”

“For that, I’m thankful.” She wrapped her other arm around your front and pulled you in for a hug. You held on tightly, still not entirely ready to let her go.

“Soomi, are you read- oh, sorry.” Junmyeon turned to go back inside, but Soomi jumped up to her feet. Her own eyes were starting to water. This goodbye was hard on you both.

“No, it’s fine. I should get going before it gets too late in the day.”

Nodding, Junmyeon reached inside and rolled out the suitcase. He handed it over without a word.

“Thank you,” Soomi smiled at him. It getting easier for her, you could tell. Her smiles to him were now friendlier, not so sad.

“Of course,” he said. “If you need anything, just call. Thank you again, for coming.”

“We’re always happy to help.”

Clearing his throat and nodding one last time, Junmyeon patted your back before heading back inside. You followed Soomi down the steps and to her waiting car. You helped her put her suitcase in the trunk and even walked all the way to the driver’s side door. You really didn’t want this to be it.

As if sensing your hesitation, Soomi hugged you once again. “I love you. You know that right.”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “I definitely do. And I love you, too.”

She held on for a few seconds longer before letting go. “Okay. I have to go now before I’m tempted to stay.”

You laughed, knowing it was true. So, you took a step back to give her room. The engine roared under the hood, vibrating the small compact vehicle. With one final wave, Soomi started down the long drive towards the main road.

A warm arm suddenly appeared around your waist. You smiled sadly up at Sehun, who brushed it away with a kiss to your forehead.

“You’ll see her again,” he said. You nodded silently before looking back at the car just before it disappeared among the trees.

No, it wasn’t goodbye forever, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

[nekoannie-chan]

So close…

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Mutant! Reader

Word count: 1080 words.

Summary: Y/N keeps thinking about all the times that had a near-death experience

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death of characters, thoughts about death and life.

A/N: The text in italics are thoughts that the reader writes in a notebook, the first one I wrote it a long time ago in a notebook.

“Mutie” is a derogatory way to call the mutants that some people use in The Gifted.

This is my entry to the @jennmurawski13​ ‘s 1000 Follower/Birthday Challenge with the prompt:

“Near-death experience.”

Also my entry to the @angrybirdcr​ ‘s  200 Challenge with the angst prompt #4 and the scenario #78:

“How do we fix this?”

“Near-death experience.”

My native language is Spanish so I wanna improve my writing skills in English if you notice any mistake please let me know and I will correct it.

I don’t give any kind of permission that my fics be posted in other platforms or languages (I translate myself my work) or the use of my graphics (my dividers are included in this), I did them exclusively for my fics, please respect my work and don’t steal it. There are some people here who make dividers that anyone can use, mine is not this type, please look for the other’s people. The only exception is the ones I gifted ‘cuz now belong to someone else. If you find any of my works on a different platform and is not one of my accounts, please let me know. Reblogs and comments are always welcome.

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own Marvel’s characters (unfortunately), except for the original characters and the story.

My other media where I publish: Wattpad, Ao3, ffnet.

If you like it please vote, comment, and give me feedback to improve my skills and reblog. 

Tags: @navybrat817​ @saiyanprincessswanie​

Sometimes I wonder if people have any idea how many times they've been close to death, for years we see the exact date of our death on the calendar. How many times do people think about this? How many times have you experienced it? How many times have they thought about how close they almost dying?

 You closed the notebook after you wrote that then you kept it in the drawer with a key, you didn't like that anyone saw what you were writing, it wasn't exactly a diary, but just where you captured your thoughts and occurrences, even though you thought that if someone else read it... they wouldn’t understand what had happened because they had been on the other side during those events.  

For a few days you couldn't stop thinking about it, not to mention that you had a strange feeling.  

Despite having powers, sometimes you wished you could have visions and thus know and prevent future events

You stand up, you went to the kitchen and you made yourself a tea, a noise in the window made you look up, it had started to rain very hard and the drops were hitting the window.  

You sighed, a lot of people found the nights like this charming; however, it only brought you memories... bad memories.  

"What are you doing?”

You were startled when you heard Steve's voice, and you left the cup on the kitchen table.  

"I’m drinking a tea and think a little," you replied, trying to sound calm.  

"What were you thinking? Is there anything you're worried about? You know you can trust me,' Steve said.  

"I know... have you ever had any near-death experiences? I mean, you were going to die and something happened and you managed to survive," you questioned.  

Steve stared at you, he hadn't talked to anyone about all those times either; though they didn't seem to interest others.  

"I think I need a cup of tea too," he replied while serving the hot water in the cup.

"That doesn't answer my question," you complained. 

Steve sat next to you with the cup in his hand, took air before he started talking.  

“Before the serum... many times, I was too sick, doctors told my mom that if I reached the thirties it would be a miracle, after the serum... I came to think that he was invincible until the day Bucky fell the train... I realized how fragile life is," he recounted.  

"Wow... that sounds intense," you said.  

"Also during the Triskelion’s attack, I had many injuries from the fight against Buck, I was practically unconscious, and I remember falling from Hellicarier to Potomac... As I fell I couldn't stop thinking I was going to die...” 

"You thought it was the price you had to pay for what had happened to Bucky," you finished his sentence.  

Steve nodded.  

"And what about you? Steve asked.

"Pretty much my whole life, I stopped counting after the fifth occasion, I don't think any normal person can understand what mutants face and the danger it posed when the Sentinel program was active.

 2004

 No one expected the storm that day came unexpectedly, several lives were lost that day.  

Your classmates had locked you in the school service room minutes before the storm started. No one could go home, all roads were flooded, the water level was starting to rise, and everyone was panicking.  

The water was starting to accumulate in the little room you were in, you couldn't stop thinking it was your end, and you were going to die, would you find your body? How could your parents take the news? 

Until a miracle happened, your mutant powers were activated and they were the ones who managed to keep you safe, somehow you managed to create a portal that took you to a place away from the flood.

The problem was when the survivors found out what you did, they thought it unfair that you had survived, and that you hadn't gone to save the others, they didn't even care that you didn't know how to use your powers.  

They even called the Sentinel Services to catch your family, people didn't want "muties" living near them. It was when they had to go to another country, however, the dangers were still there, it seemed that there was no safe place.

 2018

 The Outriders were attacking them, even if you opened portals to send them back outside they seemed endless.  

Everyone was too busy with the enemy, you weren't even sure how this would end.  

You didn't see when one of the Outriders was near you and he threw you. It was too strong for you, you had no idea how to get it off your back.  

‘I'm going to die,’ you thought at the time.  

You were trapped, you couldn't open a portal in the position you were in, and fortunately, Okoye came to the rescue and took you off the Outrider.  

"Maybe you should send him outside," the woman suggested.

That's what you did. You were beginning to feel exhausted, you've never used your powers for so long.

You couldn't stop Thanos, you were in the bushes, you tried several times to open a portal, as if you want to somehow return the time to prevent what happened, obviously it didn't work.  

Steve started looking for you, he was afraid it would have happened to you or that you'd run with the same fate as Bucky, he couldn't bear to lose them both.He was relieved when he found you, rushed the pace, he was afraid that at any moment you would disappear.  

"Doll, what are you doing?” His voice sounded trembling.  

He looked confused about what you were doing, were you going to escape?

“How do we fix this?”

You looked at his beautiful blue eyes, whenever you had any questions or fears, he had the answer, he opened his mouth, but no noise came out, he didn't know what to do or how they were going to solve it, he still didn't understand what had happened.  

"I... I don't know,” he finally said

 I still can't process what happened, I don't think anyone has been able to understand. People have cried, they have not stopped doing it, no one knows what will happen in the future, nor how we will solve it, even if there is some form, although now they finally start to wonder and realize how fragile life is. 

[waiting4inspiration]

Just Try XXXI (Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader)

Summary: The team show that they’re there to help you and Bucky whenever you need them

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff, !!!!, (fair warning for the next part, there’s going to be a time jump)

Just Try Masterlist II Marvel Masterlist

Though you started to fall back into your habits of spending most hours of the day in your lab, it was different this time because of the pups poking at you - literally and figuratively. They would always try and steal as much time for you as they could and you couldn’t deny the attention they sort out. When you were hungry, you couldn’t just eat whatever. It was always specific cravings that left you unsatisfied if you didn’t hunt down what you wanted. 

As they grew bigger and started to use your organs as punching bags, they specifically targeted your bladder. And when you gotta go, you gotta go. Things were getting a bit crowded too. You knew this because whenever you would walk wherever you wanted to be, you’d end up breathing as if you had been running or training with Nat. 

Nevermind the fact that sleeping became a bit of a pain now. The growing bump protruding out your stomach started to get in the way as the weeks went by. Not to mention that since the day the pups made their first appearance with their movements and kicks, it was as if they wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t forget about them. Especially at night. Thankfully, they calmed down when they feel the cool metal of Bucky’s hand. 

One night when neither you nor Bucky could sleep, you could smell slight anxiety in his scent. Running your hand through his hair making his eyes flutter shut at your touch and taking in a deep breath of you calming scent. “What are you nervous about?” you whisper, shifting closer to him as he snakes an arm around your waist. 

“About being a father, I guess,” he mutters, his forehead touching yours as he sighs out. “I’ve done a lot of things in my life and a few of them made me nervous,” he says, a short chuckle following as he shakes his head. “But this tops them all.”

Moving your hand away from his hair, you caress the side of his face. “Nothing compares to starting a pack, Bucky. It is a nerve-wracking thing,” you say, nuzzling his nose lightly. “Trust me, I’m nervous as hell,” you giggle, a smile playing on Bucky’s face as he pulls you closer to him. “And I freak out a little more every time we come to bed because I know that when I wake up the next day, I’m one step closer to my due date.”

Breathing deeply with you, he presses his nose against yours and licks his lips. “How much farther?” he barely whispers out as his hand gently kneads your hip. 

“Well, considering that full term for twins is about 37 weeks,” you start, pausing to quickly calculate the answer only to sigh loudly. “About 12 weeks left.” The answer not only shocks both of you but fills the room with smells of anxiety in your scents. “Hey, it will be fine,” you reassure as Bucky shifts in front of you when the words register in his mine. “Remember, the team will always be there to help us if we need it.”

He shakes his head as his eyes lift back up. As he stares at you, his head starts to nod lightly and you move your face to place your nose in the crook of his neck. “Have you been thinking about names?” he questions, pressing his head against yours as you kiss over the mark on his neck. 

Sighing out, you pull your head away to look at those eyes that make you feel like you’re floating every time. “I’ve always believed that you’ll know what to name them when you look at them for the first time after they’re born,” you explain, smiling down at him when he smiles and chuckles at you. “Why? Do you have something in mind?”

“No, but Nat gave a suggestion this morning for our little girl,” he hums, placing his hand on the side of your stomach. 

Raising an eyebrow at him, you smirk knowing exactly what Nat might have told him. “And did you tell her that she can have the second name?” you question, Bucky chuckling at you and shrugging his shoulder. 

“I told her I’d run it by you first,” he says making you smile before resting your head against his chest. He kisses the top of your head as you shift to snuggle close to him.

The next day while decoding your mother’s notebook, Clint walks into your lab but barely pulls you out of your concentration. He can see that you’re deep in it and knows better than anyone to try and pull you out of it. Instead, he decided to sit and just wait for you, watching you work and frown at the pages in front of you. 

As he does this, his eyes linger on your swollen belly and he thinks of his own mate, Laura. He remembers when she was pregnant with his pups and he can’t help but wonder how he didn’t see the signs of your pregnancy before you told the team. Maybe it was the mission everyone was focusing on that time or maybe it was because he didn’t expect you and Bucky to be so far and so close in your relationship that having pups was on the table. But hey, every relationship and bonded pair is different.

You sigh loudly, dropping your pencil to the table and run a hand through your hair. “Could you stop thinking so loudly, Clint?” you question, turning your head to the alpha sitting a few feet away from you. “I can smell that you’re so deep in thought and it’s distracting.”

He shrugs his shoulders and crosses his arms. “Well, maybe you should give me attention then I’ll leave you alone,” he says, earing a cold glare from you and a few inaudible words as your turn on your chair to face him. “You figure out what your mom was working on yet?”

Biting your lower lip, you glance over at the page briefly before looking back at him. “Yeah, I did. But some things are still a bit hazy,” you explain, pushing yourself up. When Clint tries to rush to help you up, you hold up your hand and give him a thankful smile. “You remember Project Insight from a few years ago?” you question, walking to the blueprints across the room. 

“I only know what Nat told me, but yeah. What about it?” Clint replies, watching you walk across the room. 

You lift your head back up at him. “Well, these plans are like that but about ten times bigger,” you state, tracing your finger over the edge of the blueprints. “With this, HYDRA can wipe out countries in the blink of an eye from any distance,” you explain, glancing over the design on the paper for a second before looking back up at Clint. “That’s why she coded everything. So that they wouldn’t be able to use these plans unless they had her.”

“Or her daughter?” he questions, nodding towards you and making you smile. “HYDRA thought that you could crack her codes and you did. And you didn’t even know her.”

You shrug, folding your arms as you walk back to him. “She gave me enough to figure everything out,” you say, looking at the open notebook on the table. “And a way for me to get to know her. It was her personal journal before she started on these plans. A diary for her pregnancy with me.”

Clint smiles at you when you glance up at him. “Come with me,” he orders, holding out his hand for you. Frowning, you place your hand on his and follow him as he leads you out the lab. “You need to get out of this lab, (Y/n),” he says when you whine in protest as he leads you down the passage. “Gotta start thinking about your pups now.”

Rolling your eyes at him, you fake annoyance but know fully that he’s right. When he reaches his destination, you see Bucky leaning against the wall beside a closed door with a bright smile on his face. This only made your confusion greater as Bucky thanks Clint for getting you here. “What’s going on?” you question, looking between the alpha. 

“Luckily we’ve got the team to help us out when we need the help,” Bucky says, repeating your words from the previous night as he reaches to open the closed door. 

Peering into the room, your hand shoots up to your mouth in shock as you slowly step past the door. Tears flood your vision at the sight of the two cribs against the wall and you run your fingers over the rim of the one containing a light blue blanket. Glancing around the room, you notice a few things you’d like to change in the nursery but most of the things are perfect. 

Looking back at the door, you see the whole team standing with looks of utter pride on each of their faces. “When did this happen?” you question, glancing around the room again as you rest your hands above your chest, feeling your heart beat against your chest. 

“While you were spending so much time in your lab, we were up here,” Bruce states as they filter into the room. “And because it’s directly next to yours and Bucky’s room, we had him on the look-out for you.”

Your head snaps up at the alpha that has now stepped beside you. “You knew about this and didn’t tell me?” you giggle.

He shrugs his shoulders and gently kisses the top of your head. “I thought it would be a nice surprise for you,” he says, glancing the room himself and smiling to him. 

“It was supposed to be a surprise for the both of you,” Steve mentions, folding his arms over his chest and glaring lightly at Bucky. 

“But you can’t sneak around a former Soviet spy,” Tony says, pushing past everyone so that he stands in front of the group. “Now, I think you should know how much everyone did so that you can see how really deserves to be godparents and who doesn’t,” he explains, glancing over at Thor whose eyes just wander around the room in awe. 

You laugh at him and shake your head, hold up your hand as your eyes land on the cribs again. “How did you guys know what to get? I mean, I couldn’t have done a better job myself. Everything is just so…”

“Nest-y?” Wanda questions, stepping forward with her hands folded in front of her. “I just had to imagine what it would be like if I was carrying pups,” she explains nonchalantly with a shrug in her shoulder. “Plus, I may have gotten a glimpse in your mind before setting out.”

Tags: @rororo06 @tephi101 @chameerah @flokidottir-imagines-br @mad4oak @momc95 @lucille-lovely @marvelmenappreciation @ben-wyxtt @spaghettirogers @bookwormmads @veganfangirl5 @wonderlandsdecay @kissakatterna @thewinterwolf @captainamericasbeard @kulteule @collette04 @satellitespidey @marvelgirl7 @bxxbxy @summernykole @ek823 @buckaro0 @gracethegeek9902 @oldspirit @classyunknownlover @sasunarushiita @thelostallycat @animegirlgeeky @brokensunflowersworld @mishameadows @hennessy0274-blog @kxttykatmichael @artemis629 @buckaroobarnes28 @redhairedfeistynerd @mrsalh32611 @3dsaunt @benegrido @lokilover-39 @kat-the-oddity @rainbowkisses31 @amis123love @only-good-sensation @lemondropirwin @crookedslimecreatorpasta @dontneedbiologytoadopt @what-is-a-name-blog @pattys-got-cakes

[elejahfanfic]

Hello Love

Hello Love

Fanfiction

Part 1

Pairing: Miguel Galindo x Elena Gilbert

a tvd crossover AU story

a/n: well, here is another fluffy fanfiction crossover story. This time all human. Since I am a huge fan of the vampire diaries - kind of always do crossovers with them.

As of recent I really started to like the character of Nick Amaro from Law&Order_svu, played by Danny Pino. I also love him as Miguel Galindo in Mayans MC... and so, in this story - paired with Elena Gilbert, of course, my favourite female character.

I hope you like it. Thanks for reading. xoxo

tag @miguelsbrat​

♤♡◇♧

"The conversation ended really bad," Elena said to Caroline, "I can't breathe- I have this pain here"

The brunette put her hand on her chest.

"Elena-now you are exaggerating. You said the same thing when you broke up with Matt." Caroline was blunt with her oldest friend.

"This is different. I thought he was the one." Elena tried to make her point why she was so upset.

"Guys sleep around,you know that. Maybe not all, but -  Damon is such a guy-ok-where is your bag, your keys? Come on we need drinks. Lots of Martinis! "Caroline helped her friend put her jacket on. Elena wiped her tears off.

"Come on, get into the car" The blonde huffed a bit.

Elena could not say no to her and she didn't want to. She needed her friends beside her and she knew that, even though they could not make the heartache magically go away, they will do everything to make her feel a bit better.

They drove off to a place called Liberty Park. Elena put her sunglasses on, to hide her puffed up eyes. She felt a throbbing headache now set in.

"A walk in the park and some air will help", Caroline chatted away, "so tell me- you went to his place and she opened the door"

"Yes - and he was  like - oops, sorry - this  here - Krystal being there - it just a mistake- I love you like crazy, yadda, yadda, yadda-URGH-sure he loves me like crazy- and then sleeps with her?!" Elena inhaled sharply now and Caroline could notice that anger was taking over. It was good. Anger was the first step of starting to deal with the situation. Or maybe not. But, at least she was not crying anymore.

"Anger is good. Let it all out." Caroline said in a supportive kind of a tone, continuing, of course with questions, "And so what did you tell him? Why did you get into the fight in the first place?"

"Well, about her! Whenever she calls, he just goes over to her place. I know that they have a kid,-and now I will sound like a bitch- and I love the boy! You know me. I love kids. I want to have at least three-huh"

"Maybe, she staged everything?!" Caroline then said.

"No, he actually admitted sleeping with her!" Elena said.

"Really?" Elena nodded, "Stefan said they broke up because she wanted time off to herself. She kicked Damon out, right?!"

"I think that he has never really stopped loving her. And they have a five- year old kid - and what was I thinking?!"

"Stop that. You fell for him. And it's not the end of the world. Come on now, you need a Maritni. I know I do!" Caroline now urged her to go to their favourite bar that was not far from the park.

To give Elena much needed girly support, Caroline now called their other three friends to join them. Dialling Rebekah Mikaelson's number first.

"Rebekah?! Yes, if you can-of course we are- will call Bonnie-can you call Yemaya?-Good-Yep-See ya."

"I want pizza and and a big load of Martinis, so I can forget everything!" Elena said as they sat down at a table.

Caroline now told the waiter to keep the Martinis coming.

Elena was a sensitive creature, full of dreams, pure emotion, a sweet soul. Caroline was a very pragmatic one, strong, very opinionated, but with a heart of gold. And she would do anything for her bffs, but also for all those who suffered in any way. No wonder she got a law degree.

"Why me? I loved him" Elena now ventured into the self pity zone.

"You just fall in love- and put all heart out there!" Caroline stated, "and  usually with the wrong guys- just like me! But you will be cured. Bonnie will get the pizza. I'll give her a call."

Whenever there was a heartbreak, problems at work or family problems, the five would meet no matter what it was, they made a pact to be there for one another. But they also found time to get together to have a good time as well.

"Breathe now, Elena!" Rebekah said as she arrived a bit later, hugging her friend. "You will forget him! I promise you! Tomorrow it will be- Damon, who!?"

The waiter now served them another round of cocktails.

"Cocktails and pizza, seriously?" Bonnie said as she finally arrived.

"Elena wanted pizza?!" Caroline explained.

"Nevermind. What did you get?" Rebekah now said and  opened the pizza box.

"Extra cheese and pepperoni" Bonnie replied.

"Perfect! Caroline said taking a slice.

"It's kareoke night!" Bonnie looked at the board near the bar, adding, "Yemaya will be late. She has to finish her  article!"

"I don't know why she won't come and work for me-but I guess she likes to be a serious journalist and not write about fashion." Rebekah remarked taking a sip of her drink.

Rebekah was the editor of a fashion magazine in her family's newspaper empire. She and Caroline met in college and struck a friendship immediately. Bonnie became friends with Elena and Caroline in senior high as she moved from a small town from the north. Yemaya was Bonnie's cousin on her father's side.

The only one of them that had a steady relationship was Bonnie, dating Rebekah's brother Kol. The other women had loads of heartbreaks behind them and knew exactly how Elena felt.

A crazy fun night was starting as finally Yemaya arrived at the bar.

Rebekah, Elena and Caroline entertained everyone with their kareoke night. Letting go was just what everyone needed. Noone cared  about how they actually would feel in the  morning. But who cared about the hangover on a working day, once in a while everything needed to be let loose.

Caroline made sure Elena got home safe and sound, tucking her into bed litterally.

"You are my best bestie" Elena muttered with a drunken cheerful smile.

"Sweet dreams!" Caroline smirked at her friend before she switched off the light.

She exited Elena's tiny apartment.

The morning arrived, or better said, lunch hour was already on for most people, when she woke up and checked at her phone. There  were several missing calls with Damon's name on the display. She tossed the phone away and now tried to get up. Her head still felt woozy and she slightly regretted having way too many Martinis. She walked to the bathroom very slowly. A long shower would help as always.

Rebekah and Caroline already had met for brunch. Unlike Elena, they eased up with their drinks but were revisiting some of the scenes of the previous night.

"You could have chosen singing career. I never understood why you got into Law School." Rebekah remarked.

"My mum and dad - you she is the dective and he is the lawyer. It's good that I can let some steam out once in a while."

"Do you think she will take Damon back?! You know, Elena-she will get soft when he starts talking sweet to her"

"I don't know," Caroline said, "I really didn't get that she got into Damon. I have always thought that it would be his brother Stefan. They could talk, he was always helping her with stuff. After the break up with Matt."

"Wasn't she also going out with Tyler? He was really something.  Can I guy be so full of himself?!" Rebekah said.

"Ah, don't mention Tyler. So  wrong for her"

"Is there any right guy out there?!" Rebekah wondered, as she had a string of unhappy relationships and loads of one-night stands that she wanted to forget.

"Bonnie is the lucky one. I thought that Kol had already proposed. They are now four years together." Caroline changed the subject.

"I think that he is going to ask her to move in together. Well, they practically live together. One weekend they are inhis apartment, the next weekend in hers. Oh, I got news. Big news. Klaus is coming home. He is done building houses in Eastern Europe. Mother is preparing a great welcome party on Saturday. You guys are all invited." Rebekah said.

"Klaus is coming home?! His been like away-what-forever?!" Caroline remarked.

"Ten years. And so is Miguel. My adoptive brother. I guess they both had enough of being away from the family. Actually, Miguel has been back for a month now. Buy he is no party person, you know. His son Cristobal is so amazing."

"Cristobal?" Caroline asked.

“Yeah. I am so glad he is back. He is so much fun. Loves photography. He is so like his mother. And he definitely not going to be a surgeon."

"Oh, yeah -Miguel is a surgeon, right?"

"Yes. He is a cardiologist. Oh, when he and Kol get together, there is always talk of scientific research. Boring if you ask me"

"That Kol is an orthopedic surgeon, kind of still is so totally strange," Caroline stated,"you never talked about Miguel!? How come he went to live in Mexico?"

"It's a long story." Rebekah said with a sad huff.

"You said once that his wife died?"

"Yes. And he- kind of shut down. Thank God he had Cris." Rebekah now told her friend a little bit more about Miguel and how he was adopted by her father and mother when he was five years old.

❤️❤️❤️

Elsewhere

Elena called her shop just to let her staff know that she would be arriving late that day. Her assistant Nora told her that everything was under control and that she can take the day off.

Her phone rang again and now she swiped her call open.

"Stop calling me, Damon! I so don't want to know-I am done!!! We are done!!!!" Elena pressed the red button on the phone to click the call off.

Inhaling sharply she turned to the mirror as she was about to open the door.

"Looking good girl. You are so going to rip him out of your heart!"  She put the sunglasses on and took her bag, slamming the door shut behind her. 

She had no particular idea where she wanted to go. She just wanted to walk. And so she walked. Shopping was always a good option, hoping the hangover would slowly clear up.

Her phone rang and said, "Hey. I am fine, Bonnie. Just taking a walk. Maybe I will get to the shop later. Need to revise some recipes. Yes, he called. But I slammed the phone down on him. I don't really care. I am done crying. I am done with him. I am done dating. Yeah-ok-I will talk to you later"

She now  put the phone in her bag and being still hangover didn't look where she was going, and as she wanted to open the door to a cafe she nearly bumped into a man who was about to do the same.

"Sorry." Elena apologized immediately. 

"Oh-it's my fault- I - just-my thoughts were somewhere else. Please" the man in his forties then opened the door and let Elena get in first.

"I am usually not so distracted”

"It's fine. " the man said. 

They looked at one another as if time had stopped for a moment, and they didn't know what to do next.

"Where are my manners," he then said, "Can I offer you of coffee as an apology?"

"Yes" Elena muttered. "Shall we?"

"Yeah" Elena slipped and they found a nice available table at the window. "They have great smoothies here"

"They do? You know this place very well, then?"

"Pretty much. It's like my breakfast/lunch place- strawberry is the best" Elena recommended.

"Right. I will have a smoothie then- and coffee with skimmed milk" the dapper looking man said to the shop assistant.

Elena ordered nearly the same, adding blueberry pancakes to the order.

This was something he had not done for ages, namely, inviting a woman for a drink so casually, even if it was just a harmless cup of coffee. It was as if someone or something nudged him to do it, or maybe because he saw  certain saddnes in her eyes, or maybe it was just Cupid doing his job of getting two people together.

"I was at a party last night - and kind of had one too many-and need all this to wake up." Elena explained all the food that arrived.

"It must have been some party" the man he said politely.

"I am not usually doing this in the middle of the week- but-it was something out of the ordinary."

"You don't have to explain."

"No, I know. So-what is it that you do?" Elena now took notice that he was wearing a very expensive business suit and his whole aura gave out that he was a very professional man.

"I am a cardiologist. I work at the University hospital."

"Oh, right. I’m a pastry chef." Elena said.

"Ah, so you are very well versed in the sugar department" the man nooded watching at the brunette in a sweet way.

"Yes. I own a shop called Lena's Cookies in the the Linden street."

They chatted some more about her work until a phone call interupted them. He apologized saying that he had to take a call. But soon, Elena's phone went as well. It was Caroline. Elena now told her friend where she was, but nothing about who she was with.

"I am so sorry." the man  said as he returned to the table. "This was my son. I will have to leave now, but it was very nice meeting you-?" In all that initial confusion they had not introduced themselves to one another.

"Elena!"the brunette said.

"Mike! Nice to meet you, Elena." Miguel said with a little smile, excusing himself.

"Mike." Elena muttered to herself as she sat down at the table again and dreamily sipped down her coffee.

[skyerana]

tagged by @ashipwreckcoast​ for a question thinger. I’m bored out of my skull and I like these questions so here you go. You should do it. Yes, you. Why? Because? I don’t have real reazons.

Putting this under a cut because its long and I don’t want to clog up your dash.\

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? Black, specifically Pilot G2 pens. But really? I like a good dark dark green. My dog ate my favorite pen and I haven’t been able to find one in that color since.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I’ve sort of done both. I love living in a city, with all the vibrancy and life that it entails. There’s public transit, arts and culture, so many kinds of food, interesting people and always something going on. But for the last few years, I’ve been wanting to get back to something like where I went to school, where I lived for 7 months on a lake and the next closest people (besides us 9) were 5 miles away (the road up to the field station was 2 miles by itself and we got snowed in and flooded in on more than one occasion). I miss being close to deep nature and the peace that comes from being alone.

So which do I prefer? I don’t really know. I’ve been living back in a city for the past eight years but I’m feeling like its time for a change. I don’t think I’ll leave cities forever though. I like people and diversity too much.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? For fun, I’d want to pick up leatherworking, blacksmithing, and/or woodworking. I’m currently not set up well to do any of them though. For practicality though, I’d want to learn general house maintenance.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Depends on the tea, but often yes. Coffee gets an obscene amount of hazelnut creamer because I hate coffee but I love caffeine.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? The Hobbit. My dad and step-dad both read it to me at different points of my childhood and my dad gave me his copy (The Hobbit or There and Back Again, 1977 Illustrated edition)

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. Baths are well and good if you have a big enough one (which I don’t) and you don’t stay in so long it gets cold (I don’t).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Upon reading this question, every single mythical creature that I’d ever read about immediately vanished from my memory. I’m going to have to come back to this one.

I came back to this one and I still don’t know. I like the idea of flying. But I don’t really want to be hunted out to extinction.

8. Paper or electronic books? I love paper books, but I read much better via ebook. I still haven’t read Gideon the Ninths because the pages are so soft I just sit and pet them instead of read.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? BOXERS! Or rather, boxer-briefs. I know this sounds weird but bear with me. For some reason, when I started transitioning, it did not occur to me to buy mens underwear. When I finally did, It Was Amazing. I looked great. I felt great. I finally understood why so many people had “fun” underwear that they liked. Before, I had like one or two that had patterns/stuff on them. Now? I’ve got Star Wars and Captain Marvel and Deadpool and mountains and mushrooms and one with boxers that makes me laugh because there’s boxers on boxers!! And I can wear them whenever the fuck I want! So I always have something fun on, even (especially) if other folks can’t see it. Switching to boxers was such a weirdly affirming thing for my gender and I love it.

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? This is complicated. I like my legal name, sure, but its not me, not really. I did get the spelling updated on it legally when I was 16 so I could actually get my driver’s license. I haven’t had a chance to change my legal name since transitioning (between the election and COVID, I don’t know that I’d get through all of the legal rigmarole in time to vote in November), but I really like my chosen name and an altered version of my legal name will be my new middle name.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I’ve had so many over the years. I learn so much from people, but I had so many great mentors when I worked at the museum. Timshel stands out. If I can be half the mentor she is to someone, I’ll have put some real solid good into the world. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? No. Not in the everyone knows you sense. That’s not my jam. I wouldn’t mind having fame more in the sense of within a tiny field, being well known and respected.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Yes... to the point where I’m seeing a sleep specialist in a month to sort it out.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? Very much so. But there’s so many different ways to be romantic.

15. Which element best represents you? I hate these questions. I see bits of myself in all of the elements. People often associate me with air or water though.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? Distance wise, my family in California. I come from a bunch of very close knit families and so having folks on the other side of the country that I’m super close with is ihard.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? “Everyone. Being solitary by choice as opposed to demand is a big difference.” I’m just going to leave @ashipwreckcoast​‘s response here because it fits. I’m very lucky that I am still working in a (relatively) safe environment, but we’re all missing out on things like throwing a housewarming party for one of my closest friends/coworkers. Even though we see each other almost daily, we’re still missing out on a lot that we’d normally do. That’s even worse for folks I’m not seeing at all because of COVID.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I legit thought I was a wolf and would howl at the neighbors when mom packed me into the wagon to go do laundry at the laundromat. The neighbors, being good people, howled back.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? There have been a few times where I wasn’t sure what I was eating. One was at a wedding with 10 or 12 courses (I lost count) and some of them were foods I’d never seen before. I know jellyfish was on that list but there was a bunch of other stuff that I don’t know what it was. The few times I’ve been out of the country, I ate stuff I couldn’t identify (often due to language barriers). The seafood soup at the one place was just whatever they caught that day and it had a lot in it. I remember being disappointed in my fellow grad students when some of them turned it down. You don’t turn down food when you’re a guest unless you have a medical reason for doing so. But the thing is, none of these are strange, except by the US standards. So if that’s true, then the deep fried dragonfly should also be on this list. 

20. What are you most thankful for? Most? That’s so hard to quantify. If I really think about it, it’s things like having a loving partner and a home and food and the ability to pay my bills, I guess.

21. Do you like spicy food? I do not like capsaisin related spices but I love horseradish type spices. I do liked well spiced, but not necessarily spicy, foods.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? A few times. Sometimes at the museum (worked with some of them). Sometimes at special events, like attending lectures.

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? Generally no. I do sometimes get the urge to write and reflect on stuff, so I’ll do that when the mood strikes.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? I’ve been trained to use pens for everything (I work in a chem lab). Pencils are fine, but you need the right kind for the satisfying scratchiness. I cannot abide scratchiness in my pens.

25. What is your star sign? Cancer. Why is this important?

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Not super soggy but not straight out of the box crunchy. Does that make sense?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I  want my legacy to be built on kindness and helping others. I know that’s cheesy and cliche, but I have so much privilege that I want to use to benefit others.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I love reading. I’m on book 30 for the year. The last one I finished was Starsight by Brandon Sanderson, which is book 2 of 3 of the Skyward series and HE HASN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET!! I read Skyward and Starsight in four days total.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I often cook for them.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Only for certain things. I don’t mind drinking most drinks at room temperature and ice waters stuff down. It’s good for iced tea though, but only if you need to cool it.

31. What are you afraid of? This isn’t a fair question. I’m afraid of being abandoned or fucking things up. I’m also afraid of spiders and the milk in my fridge expiring. I’m afraid of filling out forms (forms are really hard and make me extremely anxious). I’m afraid of phone calls, but I’m good at them. I’m afraid of public speaking, but you’d never know it unless I told you. I’m afraid of losing the people I love, of dying without having put some good into the world. I’m afraid for my neighbors, for my brothers and sister, for my niece. The world is overwhelmingly scary right now.

32. What is your favourite scent? Campfires, the smell of a fresh spring rain, leather, the weird musky scent of my kitten, of garlic and onions cooking low and slow. There’s too many.

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? Depends on who and in what context I know them.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I’d travel a lot more. I’d donate to a lot of things. Museums, arts, individuals. I’d love to just go on to gofundme and just straight up fund folks to their goals plus a bit extra. And then go figure out where the systematic failures were that lead to them not being able to afford it in the first place.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? Ocean. Absolutely. But this is also lake and river erasure.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? I guess exchange it for USD.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah. They’re magical every time.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? Be kind. To yourself and others.

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I’ve got several I want. I was supposed to get an anchor with an octopus chilling on it on my inner forearm for my one year anniversary on testosterone but then COVID hit and well... who know when I‘ll get it.

40. What can you hear now? Mostly just the AC and the tack of the keys on the keyboard. Occasionally a particularly loud vehicle makes itself known.

41. Where do you feel the safest? Curled up with my partner and dog.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Probs my anxiety.

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? 

44. What is your most used emoji? The crying laughing one. I survive on sending stupid memes and shit back and forth with too many people. After that, the heart.

45. Describe yourself using one word. Oof

46. What do you regret the most? Not trusting myself when I figured out I was trans back in undergrad. That whole decade of burying it all and internalizing a lot of transphobia really did a number on myself.

47. Last movie you saw? I think it was Birds of Prey and the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn

48. Last tv show you watched? Rewatching Avatar with my partner right now. We just finished She-Ra.

49. Invent a word and its meaning. I just... I don’t know. I’m a Webster. I just compile what other people say in a book.

[parrishh]

Dig a little deeper

tagged by @gcralts​ thank u libby ily

i’m putting this under the cut because it’s long!

1. do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? blue!

2. would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? oh i’m definitely a city gal (to be totally honest, i’m actually a suburban homebody, but i couldn’t live in the country)

3. if you could learn a new skill, what would it be? i have owned a guitar for...five years? and have never learned how to play it so that would be good

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? tea sometimes, coffee always

5. what was your favorite book as a child? oh gosh i had so many...ella enchanted by gail carson levine (still my favorite book), the children of noisy village by astrid lindgren (but in polish, the english version is missing too much of the story), & stargirl by jerry spinelli come to mind first

6. do you prefer baths or showers? showers, definitely

7. if you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? i just want to be a witch/wizard, that’s all

8. paper or electronic books? oh, god, paper, no question

9. what is your favorite item of clothing? i have this oversized forest green sweatshirt from the park my family goes camping in every year and it’s my favorite thing ever

10. do you like your name? would you like to change it? i...really don’t love it, but i don’t think i would change it at this point in my life

11. who is a mentor to you? i mean, to take this question very literally, since i was a new teacher this past year i was assigned a mentor teacher at the school i work at and she’s so wonderful! i text her with so many questions all of the time and she never loses patience with me

12. would you like to be famous? if so, what for? it’s my dream to publish a book one day and of course i’d want it to do well, so, yes, i’d like to be famous for that

13. are you a restless sleeper? i mean, kind of? i’m a light sleeper but i don’t think i move around that much in my sleep

14. do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? very much so, yes

15. which element best represents you? earth earth earth

16. who do you want to be closer to? this is probably not what this question is asking for but i wish my good friends on here lived closer to me (or at least on the same continent) so i could see them irl

17. do you miss someone at the moment? of course! covid has kept me away from so many of my loved ones

18. tell us about an early childhood memory. i remember standing in my grandparents’ living room back in poland when i was probably around two. my grandma gave me a bag of clothespins and i was throwing them out the window for my grandpa to catch and i thought it was so fun! they’ve both passed since then so it’s a memory i cherish

19. what is the strangest thing you have eaten? i ate an entire post-it note once? just because someone told me i wouldn’t

20. what are you most thankful for? i was in a dark place in my life for...a long time, so i’m incredibly grateful for the wonderful people i have in my life now who help keep me away from that place

21. do you like spicy food? yes but my tolerance isn’t as high as i’d like to think it is

22. have you ever met someone famous? literally the most random people. wesley stromberg from emblem3, kaylin white from kaylin and miles, & alli simpson (???) come to mind. also, one time, at a concert in, like, 2013, i met a bunch of youtube beauty gurus i used to watch back then. i don’t even remember who they all were, but one of them was claudia sulewski and i still adore her. i’ve met the members of my favorite band (the maine) multiple times, as well as cameron leahy from the downtown fiction (that was many, many years ago) and the members of the griswolds. ooh, and i met the 1975 at an album signing! 

23. do you keep a diary or journal? i used to! i had one of those “one line a day” journals and i wrote in it every day for five years, but i finished it last year and since then i haven’t journaled at all

24. do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pen

25. what is your star sign? taurus

26. do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? um, soggy cereal can stay far away from me

27. what would you want your legacy to be? i just want to inspire my students and my future children, if i have any, to make the world a more equitable place

28. do you like reading? what was the last book you read? do i ever! i just finished crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

29. how do you show someone you love them? if i love someone, i want to share pieces of my life with them, so i’ll reach out about things i’ve read or watched or thought about with them on a regular basis! also, when it comes to being in person, i’m very touchy-feely with people i love

30. do you like ice in your drinks? sure, but it’s not a must for me

31. what are you afraid of? something happening to my younger brother (i have nightmares about it all the time, for no good reason), never finding someone i want to spend my life with, finding out that people i care about are only pretending to like me

32. what is your favorite scent? everyone always comes for me for this but warm milk

33. do you address older people by their name or surname? surname, i guess, but i just try to avoid addressing them by name if i’m unsure lol

34. if money was not a factor, how would you live your life? jeez, i don’t know...i’d travel! a lot!

35. do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools! now if you asked me pools vs. lakes, that would be a different story

36. what would you do if you found $50 in the ground? i’d probably just keep it but it depends on the likelihood of determining where it came from

37. have you ever seen a shooting star? did you make a wish? yes and probably

38. what is one thing you would want to teach your children? how not to be an asshole

39. if you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i already have two! i do want more, though! the next one i have planned is something related to my favorite band (the maine), and i want it on my ribs

40. what can you hear now? air conditioning, and someone rummaging through a bag in the kitchen

41. where do you feel the safest? i’m not sure, but the first thought that came into my head was in the backseat of the car, at night, while my dad is driving

42. what is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? i’ve been telling myself that i should go see a therapist for the past, i don’t know, ten years, so i want to actually overcome my fear of taking that leap and just go

43. if you could travel back to any era, what would it be? i’m as content as i can be in this era, things used to be even more messed up than they are now. if i had to time travel, i suppose i’d like to experience being a young adult in the 70′s or 80′s (the music scene UGH)

44. what is your most used emoji? 😊 or 🙃 or 🥺

45. describe yourself using one word. persevering

46. what do you regret the most? something i’m not ready to share

47. last movie you saw? the hate u give! 

48. last tv show you watched? love, victor!!!!! it was so good!!!!!!

49. invent a word and its meaning i’m lame but i literally can’t think of anything

tagging: @hathawaywrites @gcndalf @remusjlvpins @phantomness @louvegoods @kazbrekkerrs (only if you want to, no pressure!)