#did any of my mutuals get a birdy

[thislittlekumquat]

in case anyone is wondering where my head's been at lately

[lisired]

change your mind yet?

pairing: haechan x (f) reader

genre/warnings: smut, enemies to lovers-esque, choking, spit kink, haechan’s lowkey a cocky piece of shit, he calls you a bitch Lol

summary: You’re going to kill him. You swear, You’re going to kill him. how did Liu Yangyang accidentally tell Lee Donghyuck—your greatest enemy—that you think he’s hot and that you’ve been in a dry spell recently? Now you have to avoid the inevitable confrontation, and worst of all, deal with the most stubborn person alive (who ironically thinks that you’re the most stubborn person alive).

word count: 4.6k

a/n: very much an oldie… not so sure about a goodie but i do love the ending. i had written this for a friend lol

You love him to bits, but Liu Yangyang is not your favorite friend right now.

Fairly, you one-hundred percent blame him for the predicament you’re currently in. You know he can be a blabbermouth at times and wouldn’t do it on purpose, but there’s no way you’d let him get away with quote-unquote accidentally telling your mortal enemy that you think he’s hot, and that you’ve been having trouble getting off.

It was yesterday evening that you were on FaceTime with your best friend, simply conversating as per usual. You were ranting comfortably to Yangyang about your troubles and how sexually frustrated you are, and he suggested you getting laid. That’s how the topic of Lee Donghyuck came. He was suggesting people, and when he asked you if you thought Donghyuck was hot, you replied yeah, but I wouldn’t touch his dick with laboratory safety gloves.

Fast-forward some hours later, he’s consentfully telling your mutual friend Renjun about your conversation, in hopes of playing matchmaker and finding someone for you to fuck. The problem? Donghyuck was around, and somehow overheard everything except the part about you saying that you’d never touch his egotistical dick.

So now you’re on campus, avoiding your egotistic mortal enemy like the plague.

Why do you dislike Donghyuck? The answer’s simple, he’s one of those guys. The ones that think they own the world, and that it revolves around them. The ones that think they can have any and every person they want, and treat people’s hearts like dirt. In short, you don’t think he’s a good person, no matter how hot he is.

When your final class rolls around, you think you might’ve successfully dodged him. You had another class with him today, but for some reason he was a no-show. Not that you care, his lack of presence was relieving. Then, you see him stroll into your Language Arts class, and the bright red cherry on top? He’s quick to snatch the seat directly next to yours. Oh, brother.

“Hey,” Donghyuck whispers. “Let’s talk.”

Your heart is racing, but you think you manage to conceal it. “In the middle of class?”

He shrugs, “Afterwards.”

You’re running out of here the second your professor dismisses you.

So, Donghyuck cornered you.

There’s no going anywhere as long as he has you like this, backed up against a wall, his hands on either side of you, and his gaze practically rooting you in place. You feel like you’re being stared down by Medusa, still as stone as you look into his eyes.

“So, let’s talk,” he grins, tilting his head. “A little birdie tells me you think I’m hot, you’re under a dry spell, and that you’ve been having trouble making yourself cum lately.”

“Did you hear the part where I said I wouldn’t touch your egotistical dick with laboratory safety gloves?”

“Then it’s a good thing that I don’t need my dick to have your thighs shaking, huh,” you’re blushing, actually blushing, cheeks aflame and your skin all hot. To make matters worse, Donghyuck’s hands move from beside you to sitting pretty on your waist, not moving lower or higher, cool texture of his rings pressing gently into your skin. The contact has you in an internal frenzy, but you chalk it up to you simply being touch-starved. “Don’t you see these lips, baby?”

Alas, you do see them. With his face as close as it is to yours, you can’t help but see them. They’re pretty and plush, kissable, and kind of do look like they could eat—no, no, no, no. You’ve been with your share of guys like Donghyuck, ones that like to talk about how good they are, yet are severely disappointing in reality. For you to even be considering sleeping with him just goes to show that you’ve struck rock bottom.

“D-don’t call me that,” you curse yourself for stammering, because he only finds it amusing.

“Why not? I think you like it, baby,” Donghyuck teases, “is that the problem? You like me, but you don’t want to like me? You don’t like that you know I could make you feel good?”

You loosen your gaze, unable to bare eye contact with him any longer, “Fuck you, Donghyuck.”

“Fuck me your fucking self,” he grabs your chin, making you look at him. If you can see anything in his eyes, it’s the unmistakable gleam of lust, so dark yet so tempting. “You want it, don’t you?”

God dammit, you do want it. But you refuse to have your name crossed out on his checklist, to be another notch in his belt. You know it would only boost his ego to have seduced the most stubborn person alive into fucking him, and you absolutely refuse to let that happen.

“No.”

Donghyuck raises his eyebrow, “No?”

“No,” you repeat.

You don’t know how you expected him to react, but he takes it coolly, dropping his hands and stepping away. Aw no, did you hurt his ego? The thought almost makes you laugh.

“Okay, but you know where to find me when you change your mind,” He smirks, and you hate how confident he sounds. Not if, but when. When you change your mind.

He strolls away, and you let him. You have bigger fish to fry, and you refuse to let some grade A fuckboy get in your head.

Unfortunately, you are not as in control of your thoughts as you’d like. This is bad, really fucking bad, you think. Last night, you actually successfully managed to cum on your own. That should be a good thing, but the reason you came is absolutely humiliating. An embarrassing, taking-it-with-me-to-the-grave secret.

You may or not may not have came to the thought of Donghyuck. How his fluffy hair would look clamped to his forehead, or how his forehead would look dripping with sweat. Imagining his fingers replacing your own, fingering you with his rings on, the coolness of them against your skin. But what really did it was probably the image of him between your thighs that was planted in your brain the second he offered himself to you. You thought of what good his lips could do, and how they’d look dripping all wet.

This is fucking terrible. You haven’t came in god knows how long, and the one time you do after forever, it’s because of the man you’ve sworn to hate until the day you die. Usually this is something you’d rant to your best friend about, but after what happened the last time you told him about your sexual frustrations, you decide you’re going to keep this one to yourself. If Donghyuck ever heard you came to the thought of him eating you out, he’d literally never in a million years ever let you live it down.

Today’s a new day, but you haven’t been able to shake off the shame, particularly because tonight’s Renjun’s party, and being one of his best friend’s, Donghyuck will undoubtedly be there. He’s posted it on his story and everything, not that you were checking. You overheard Yangyang talking about it. But either way, you don’t know if you’ll be able look him in the eye again.

“It’s a good thing you’re going out again,” Yangyang assures, walking next to you as you two stroll into the party, “maybe you’ll meet someone else to help you get out of your dry spell.”

He’s right. This is your chance to get laid, get over whatever that was with Donghyuck, and move on. You’re like, ninety-nine point nine percent convinced you’re only attracted to him out of sheer desperation. The measly zero point one percent comes from you being aware that you’ve thought he was attractive long before yesterday happened, but whatever. Forget it.

So you nod in agreement. Soon enough, you’ve settled with the party atmosphere. You’ve had a drink but you’re not drunk, and you’ve tried socializing but everyone seems so not your style, which is insane, because Donghyuck isn’t your style either. You don’t think. No, he’s not.

This is worse than you initially suspected. You can’t find anyone, and Donghyuck’s still running through your mind, being a complete and utter distraction and he’s not even here—

Speaking of the devil himself, “Hey.”

You spoke too soon.

“Ohmygod, if you’re here to try and seduce me again, I’m not interested,” you groan, hoping he gets the message and leaves you the fuck alone. At the same time you really don’t, but you definitely think you should.

Donghyuck raises his hands, “But I’m egotistical. I just came here to invite you to a game of truth of dare with the gang, lighten up a lil, won’t ya?”

You sigh. “Where?”

He leads you to the room where everyone is, and you make sure to scoot next to Ningning and Jennie, refusing to sit anywhere besides Donghyuck. All you hope now is that the bottle doesn’t land on you after him.

A couple of rounds fly by, and you’re still safe. You’re having fun, and the thought of him escapes your mind with ease. Even when the bottle does land on you, he doesn’t dare you to do anything crazy that you thought he would.

After Yangyang’s turn, the bottle lands on you. You’re not worried, because Yangyang’s your best friend, he wouldn’t dare you to do anything stupid.

Then he does exactly that.

“Seven minutes in heaven with Donghyuck!”

You’re going to kill him. You’re mentally plotting his murder right now. How you’re going to do it, when, and where you’ll hide his body. If he suspiciously winds up missing, you’re more than likely the reason why.

“Pucker up, buttercup,” Yangyang blows you a kiss.

You spit back, “Shut up, bubble guts.”

You hear him gasp in offense, but whatever he says is cut off by Donghyuck.

“Come on, babes. I can hear your lips calling my name,” he teases, and you groan, clutching your fist. You guess there’s no way out of this. Well, technically there is, but Renjun let Yangyang choose the punishment and he decided to make anyone who refused to do a dare eat a spoonful of sour cream. Mind you, sour cream by itself is disgusting, and this is probably why he and his stomach are frequently at war, so your safest option is getting in that room with Donghyuck for seven minutes. You don’t even have to kiss, you can just let everyone think you did.

So you follow him into the bathroom connected to Renjun’s room, and the second the door shuts, he has you backed into yet another wall. He grins, “Change your mind yet?”

You stand your ground. “No.”

“That’s fine, we can make out in the meantime and then see how you feel after seven minutes.” he replies nonchalantly.

Even though you’ve been thinking about it, you grimace. “Gross.”

“What? It’s not my dick, why do you act like you hate me anyways? Not that I’m really complaining, I like when things are hard.”

“Bet you do,” you grumble. “And if I’m acting, then I must be Viola Davis.”

“Eh, I’d give you Keanu Reeves.”

You glare. “On second thought, I’m almost willing to kiss you if it means you’ll keep quiet.”

“Well you’re in luck,” Donghyuck grins, “because that and giving head are the only ways to silence me.”

You cave in soon later, letting him pin you to the wall, your hands above your head as he kisses you hungrily. It kills you to learn that he’s a great kisser, because that means he’s actually good at something other than running his mouth and being the bane of your existence twenty-four seven. Though you don’t know how that’s possible, he’s gentle yet rough. Caring in his movement, though passionate in them too. The way he’s kissing you, you’d think he loved you.

In spite of your obvious attempts to try and touch him, to maybe run your fingers through his hair or hold his cheeks in your hands, Donghyuck doesn’t let you move. You can feel the teasing grin bloom from his lips, and conclude that it’s intentional.

Never in a million years did you think you’d be french kissing Lee Donghyuck of all people, yet here you are. You can’t say you don’t like it, though. That would be lying. While you’d never admit anything like it, the roughness in the way he kisses you has you throbbing.

Donghyuck’s lips are like a drug. You stop for a moment to inhale, and then you’re lips are latched back onto each other. Exhale again, then you take another drag, and the cycle repeats. You could do this for fucking ever.

Then, the timer chimes.

“Time’s up!” Chenle yells from outside the bathroom, and Donghyuck pulls always almost instantly, surprisingly readier than you are.

He looks hot as he pants, chest rising and falling then rising again. He smirks, “Change your mind?”

God fucking damn it. Time went by a little too fast for your liking. Your lips are swollen, but you want more of him, to feel him, to touch him, especially because he didn’t let you. You’re finally admitting to yourself that you want him, and you can’t ignore your cravings anymore.

“Donghyuck,” you whimper, not caring in this moment who hears you, “w-want you.”

He smirks. “I know, baby. You wanna prove to me how much?”

You nod. It’s pathetic, truly, but you need this at this point. So you let Donghyuck lead you out of the bathroom, and essentially the bedroom, ignoring the curious sounds coming from your friends. He leads you down the hall into a different, emptier room, closing and locking the door behind the two of you.

“On the bed,” he instructs.

You comply, the desperation that accompanies having not slept with someone in months and orgasming in weeks making you leap into action in an instant. Then there’s this raw part of you that has lusted after him before you fully came to terms with your desire, making you feel the way blood courses through your veins.

Donghyuck walks up and kisses you again, this time allowing both of your pairs of hands to roam freely as you strip one another almost bare. In an eager motion, you peel away his shirt and jeans, and he matches your yearn, leaving you naked. He pulls away from your lips to eye your body in awe.

“You’re a bitch,” he says, “but a beautiful one.”

“Really turned me on,” you deadpan.

He laughs yet pushes your back flat against the mattress, wasting no time in hovering above your body. The proximity has your heart racing a little quicker, a little faster than it was out of something like anticipation. Donghyuck dips his head but doesn’t kiss you like you anticipate him to, at least not on the lips. His lips scout your neck, soft and sweet against your flesh. He sucks at your skin, and your mouth gapes a little, sounding the most sweet gasp before he digs his teeth in suit. It makes you whimper aloud his name, which he clearly enjoys from the way he smiles.

Donghyuck repeats a course of similar actions as he mouth scoots lower, kissing and sucking and biting at your collarbone. Then he proceeds after some time, traveling lower and taking your breast into his mouth or his tongue swirling over your nipples. He trails kisses at your sternum, your stomach, all the while your breath getting caught up in your throat the more his mouth falls down your body. He’s so obviously teasing you, you know that much. He has a destination yet no rush to get there, taking his sweet, precious time as though he’s rich of it. And maybe he is, but your patience is running thin, and there’s only so much more of this you can take. “Hyuck,” you cry out of sheer desperation, “hurry up.”

“For someone who claimed not to want me up until ten minutes again, you really are desperate for me,” Donghyuck replies, drawing his mouth away, and hence all contact there was.

Refusing to simply take that, you retaliate, “For someone who claimed they could make me feel good, you’re doing a whole lot of nothing right now.”

“Keep running that sharp mouth and I’ll have to put it to better use,” Donghyuck answers. It isn’t like you’re against giving head, and it wouldn’t sound so bad if you weren’t so painfully deprived of the same satisfaction Donghyuck’s offered to give you. Sure, the speed—or lack of the—heightens the anticipation, but you need him to quit teasing or you’ll actually go insane.

“You keep acting like you hate me,” Donghyuck moves between your legs, and you aren’t prepared for what he does next. Something about the way he slowly smooths his single finger through your folds and draws it into his mouth for a taste is hot to you, thus making you wish he’d finally get on with it. “But your cunt is telling me that you love me. Love this.”

Well it isn’t like he’s wrong. You haven’t been this wet in ages, the dry spell you’ve been under being extreme and severe. Touching yourself has gone absolutely no where up until last night, when you somehow managed to cum harder than you have in a minute. You’re starting to think that having Donghyuck as your muse changes things.

Rolling your eyes, you sigh. You’d love this more if he stopped making you wait, but you don’t say that aloud, starting to suspect that the more you complain the longer he silently decides he’s going to test your patience. After what feels like an eternity of touching you everywhere but where you desperately need him to most, Donghyuck’s tongue draws a line between your thighs. Then another, and another. It progresses into more with no particular rush, despite the inevitable whines you can’t prevent from falling out. “Hyuck,” you cry again, wishing he’d stop playing games.

Donghyuck teases, “What’s the magic word?”

“Please,” you beg, “Please, please. I-I want, fuck no, I need this. Please, fuck—”

Your pleas are cut short the moment Donghyuck gives in, lapping at you with an unquenchable thirst and insatiable hunger. It’s so sudden that it gives you whiplash, and he has to grip your thighs to keep them spread a safe distance apart. He’s unstopping once he begins, tongue maneuvering as it pleases, roaming around freely though expertly. Had you known Donghyuck was as much bite as he was bark, you may have gave in to this much sooner than you did. Not only is he making you feel good, but he’s making you feel great. If you could taste heaven, it would be this.

Some moments pass, and the humiliating part is that it isn’t a lot of moments. Your thighs are trembling more with every lick, resulting in Donghyuck’s grip around your thighs to tighten out of consideration that you might successfully slip out of his grasp. You stomach turns, flips, and you’re vision is being clouded white, so close to an orgasm that it hurts. Donghyuck senses it, you know that he can, you can feel the arrogant smirk spreading across his lips once more. Just as you’re getting so close, as your orgasm is right there in arms reach, being dangled in front of you by a string, he snatches it away.

There’s yet another whine from you, but he answers your question before you even get the chance to ask, “Want you to cum when I fuck you, baby.”

Donghyuck removed his boxers, leaving them on the ground to be cared about later. His erection springs flat against his stomach in a way that makes you so suddenly inhale a breath, and you clench around absolutely nothing at all. You’re gawking at him as though you want to eat hm, and in a sense you do, but you can’t be blamed. It looks better than you could’ve ever imagined, decent length, decent girth. The real brag-worthy factor, however, is if he knows what to do with what god has blessed him with.

His dick nudges your slit. “Ready?”

Without wasting an eighth of second you give him the go-ahead, nodding your head at instance so fast it almost hurts your neck. He reacts equally as fast, prodding his dick between your folds and eventually your walls. It stretches you out perfectly, and the moment he’s in you Donghyuck’s moaning about how tight and wet you are. He takes a moment for himself before he starts to move, gliding in and out of you in an effortless motion.

So far, Donghyuck has lived up perfectly to your imagination and expectations, much better, even. You never would’ve thought he’d actually have the right to brag about how good he is in bed, but you see it now. He’s a god even, not that you’d ever tell him that to his face.

“So pretty, wish I could have gotten to you sooner. Always telling me that you hate me yet letting me fuck you like this. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’ve always wanted this,” Donghyuck says into your ear, and pecks your neck. “Are you always this needy? So desperate that you’ll let even me fuck you?”

“G-god, yes,” you don’t care about overpriding him anymore, just saying things because you aren’t in the right mind to care about anything other than his dick right now.

“Yeah?” He smirks. “Tell me how it feels, baby.”

You’re almost too fucked out to speak, just moaning and whimpering in a way you never thought you would for him, “Feels good, so… so good. Love it.”

If you were in the right mind to have shame, you’d be embarrassed by the way your number-one enemy is making you moan, and not just because of the volume, but because it’s his name your moaning so pathetically. Choruses of “Hyuck” sounding from you in plethoras, calling his name with no actual reason. You’re breathing in little shallow, quick breaths, too, mouth agape as your whimpers tumble into the air. It helps that Donghyuck’s also surprisingly vocal, calling your name back. To say the least, the way he moans your name is hot and gets you off a little more, in spite of you not needing the help. He has it all on his own, fucking into you deep and hard.

Donghyuck gropes your body too, heightening your pleasure by fumbling with your breasts or rubbing your clit with one of his free hands. He doesn’t focus on one particular part of you, showering your figure with pleasure and attention that makes the sex a billion times better.

“Can I choke you?” He asks, and the question catches you a little off-guard, but once you shake off the surprise, you give him permission.

Donghyuck’s hands slither around your neck, and he presses into your jaw with just enough force to make you look at him, and silently communicate that he wants you to keep your eyes him and his actions. His fingers press onto the sides of your throat, and you’re not sure what is a bigger turn on, the fact that he knows how to properly do it or the action itself. You think it’s a bit of both, you enjoy the thrill as you look defeated by your inability breathing, and the dark look in his eyes tells you that he enjoys it too, staring straight into your soul, watching you fail to take a breath.

He doesn’t loosen his grip on your throat as he commands, “Open your mouth.”

You aren’t in the mind to question anything, simply following instructions. His mouth hovers above yours, lips parting to spit in your mouth. The action takes you by surprise yet again, but you swallow almost instinctively, never looking away from him as you do.

He backs away once satisfied, smiling. “So good for me, baby.”

That makes you clench around him, which also brings Donghyuck the satisfaction of a moan or two. He loves the way you clench around him when he says things to you, a telltale sign that you’re enjoying this more than he knows you’d probably like to admit. This whole thing between you and him, him and you is that you’re too stubborn to admit your desire. It prides him that he finally managed to make you confess it, to admit that you’re no different from anybody else. That he can still get under your skin, and does a fairly good job at that. Not only does it make him feel good about himself, but it makes him feel good right now. Your reactions, all your moans and your fucked out face, the whimpering and the begging, it all gets him off more.

That knot in your stomach is forming again, and he has you clenching around him regularly soon afterwards, and he can tell that this time, it’s not because of his words. It’s because you’re about to orgasm. “I’m close,” you announce, once again feeling all the flips and turns twisting about in your gut. It’s a good thing Donghyuck’s close too, being obvious from the way his thrusts aren’t as smooth as they initially were.

“Me, too. C’mon baby, give it to me,” he urges you on, and you let him drive you to the edge.

He makes you see white again, vision fogging the color and your voice a high-pitched moan of his name as you climax, grinding your hips into his as you intend to ride out your orgasm. In some high, trance-like state, you’re not sure when he cums, but you know that it wasn’t that much longer after you did, and then he slid out, flopping beside you on the mattress. You lie there in near-silence that consists of nothing but heavy breathing, wondering to yourself if this actually happened. You don’t regret it, not now anyways, and it was definitely a satisfying way to break your dry spell, but now you’re starting to question if it was a bad decision. He hasn’t even asked if—

“Are you okay?” Donghyuck asks, seemingly needing a moment to catch his breath before he could gather words.

His words cut through your thoughts, leaving you to accept that maybe he’s not that much of an asshole. It’s the bare minimum, so he’s still an asshole, but not that much of an asshole. “Yeah,” you nod. “I’m good.”

“Good,” he grins. “So, you wanna ditch this party and go get some Chinese food? I’m starving.”

“You want to go get food with me?” you say, sounding wholly and utterly surprised and unconvinced. This man spends every other day of his life bothering you, and now he wants to pick up some food with you?

“I mean, if you don’t want free Chinese food that I’m paying for with my money, then fine, suit yourself, I’ll just get it by my—”

“No!” You interject, sitting up immediately as you scan the room for your clothes. “I’m down. Kinda hungry, too.”

“Good,” Donghyuck says. “Chop, chop. We don’t have all night, they close in like less than an hour from now.”

Standing out of bed to put your clothes on, you consider to yourself that maybe you’ve assumed a lot about him without getting to know him. He’s definitely got an ego on him, that a blind man can tell, but he’s not really an asshole.

“Yo, I just realized something.”

“What?”

Donghyuck smiles bashfully, “I don’t have my wallet on me.”

Nevermind. He’s one-hundred percent definitely an asshole.

[apclyptc]

DUMB— chris sturniolo x reader

synopsis: reader is smart and top of her class in college. chris however, is not too interested in her intelligence.

warnings: full on smut, swearing and also drinking/smoking, use of the pet name baby, use of the word slut, dumbification, oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex

“hit her from the back she can’t do nothing but yell,

and she smart as fuck i got this bitch straight out of yale”

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

Ever since you were younger, you seemed to have a gift for memorising and holding information. Because of this, people assumed you studied constantly.

Obviously, you did study. But it wasn’t like you didn’t have a social life. You enjoyed college parties like any other person would.

So when a guy in your class invited you to his frat house for a party, of course you didn’t refuse.

The only thing was, this guy just happened to be Chris.

He was in your social studies class, usually sat at the very back with a couple of his friends in the lecture. You knew of each other, having shared mutual friends from other classes. You’d never really spoken to him one-to-one, mainly because he was always socialising with pretty much everyone, and while you weren’t shy, you also weren’t a huge fan of jumping into conversations with people who all knew each other prior.

It also didn’t help that Chris was the most attractive man you had seen in college, or maybe in your life.

You were good at hiding it, but he made you nervous. Of course, when he invited you to his fraternity house, you faked an air of confidence so you didn’t weird him out.

“Hey, it’s Y/N, right?” Chris began, and when you affirmed with a nod he continued, “I’m throwing a party tonight, you should come.” He threw a smile in your direction, and you pushed down the immediate feeling of giddiness before answering.

“Yeah sure, sounds good. When does it start?” You asked nonchalantly as you could.

“Around 10. You can come whenever, it will be on way into the morning anyway.”

“Great. Am I good to bring a couple friends?” You replied, not wanting to walk into a party alone.

“Yeah that’s fine with me. Ask your friend Lola, my buddy Nate has a thing for her. Just don’t tell him I told you that.” He smirked at you.

That smirk. You wished you could see that smirk while he was hovering over you as he sla—

“Lola, yeah! I’ll bring her along with me.” You snapped out of your less than decent reverie and gave Chris a response.

“Perfect. I’ll see you there, Y/N.” He gave a quick glance up and down your body before turning and walking away from you.

It was then you realised, you had absolutely nothing to wear. Plus, since Chris just personally asked you, you decided you may as well dress as hot as possible.

Y/N: hey lola, frat party tonight?

Lola: do u even have to ask??? usually it’s me dragging u to these things

Y/N: true lmao. i’m gonna need to borrow something from ur closet

Lola: ooooh why, do u need smth slutty?

Y/N: maybe

maybe i was personally invited by the party thrower

Lola: who

Y/N: chris 😇

Lola: GIRL-

ok ok i’ll give u the sluttiest thing i can find

come over later and we can pick something out for u

A couple of hours later once you were finished at college, you headed to your best friend Lola’s dorm.

You two had spent what seemed like hours choosing each other’s outfits.

“By the way, a little birdie told me that Nate has a thing for you.” You eyed Lola up, knowing she had a soft spot for him.

“Oh, really? That’s interesting. Totally unrelated but would you still happen to have that box of condoms I gave you for secret santa last year?” Lola gave you a suggestive look, raising her eyebrows.

“Of course. Already put two in my bag.” You both laughed.

You arrived at the party at 11:27, mainly because no one turns up to a party on time, but also because Lola took a ridiculous amount of time to get ready.

You met up with a couple of girls from the dorms opposite Lola, seeing as they were also invited.

As soon as you arrived, you were immediately shown to the kitchen where an array of bottles were displayed.

Vodka, whiskey, rum, tequila and practically any spirit you could think of, were decorated around the kitchen.

You grabbed two cups, one for you and Lola, and filled it with vodka and soda.

“Hey, I think I see Nate and Chris over there.” Lola points behind you through to the games room, where lo and behold, Nate and Chris were playing what looked like an intense game of beer pong.

The two of you walked over to them, Nate noticing you first.

“Hey! Come help me win the game, Lola.” He gestured for her to play with him.

Chris had then turned around to see you, that smirk appearing yet again.

“You gonna help me?”

You took a quick swig of the contents in your cup before joining Chris at the table.

“Atta girl. Nice of you to bring Lola for my bro.” He spoke in a low voice so that only you could hear.

“Chris, stop flirting and throw the damn ball.” Nate teased, and you felt your cheeks grow red.

Chris threw the ball into the cup closest to him, the object landing into the beer and making a splash.

“Drink up, fool.” he glanced at you to make sure you were watching.

After a while, you had enough to drink to give you a confidence boost, and were now invested in the game of beer pong.

It was down to one cup each, and you had to make the final shot.

“Come on, Y/N,” Chris spoke from behind you, “you got it.”

It was too hard to concentrate with his voice so close to your ear, and his body so close to yours. You threw the ball, but it narrowly missed the cup.

“Yes! Chris you’re a loser!” Nate laughed at his best friend across from the table, throwing his arm around Lola who had locked eyes with you as he did this.

‘Don’t forget the condom’, you mouthed to her playfully, and she winked, pointing to her pocket.

Nate and Lola had then disappeared together, leaving you alone with Chris.

“Sorry I missed the cup.” You joked.

“Apology accepted. You wanna smoke with me?” He pulled out a perfectly rolled joint from his pocket.

You weren’t a huge smoker, only joining with Lola occasionally when you felt like unwinding.

Nevertheless you agreed, deciding you may as well since you were at a party.

Chris lead you upstairs into his room. Your eyes immediately glanced around the room, taking in its appearance.

Chris sat on the edge of his bed, and you followed.

“Could you get my lighter, it’s in the top drawer over there.” He pointed to the bedside table at the wall, and you grabbed the device, passing it to him which he thanked you for.

“Lola and Nate seem to hit it off.” You spoke.

Chris held the joint between his lips, lighting it before replying, “he’s down bad for her. Has been for a while.”

You giggled to yourself, knowing Lola felt the same about him. It was a good feeling for you, because you knew Nate was a nice guy.

“They’re a good match. Nate’s a good guy for her." You responded, watching Chris take the first hit of weed and exhaling the thick smoke.

“Yeah? Is that what you’re into? Nice guys?” He asked you, taking another hit before passing it to you.

You took the joint from his hand and inhaled.

“I guess. I think I prefer someone more… unpredictable.” You had Chris in mind as you answered. You had yet to figure out why he invited you here himself, since you didn’t know each other that well.

“In what way?”

“I don’t know, someone I can’t figure out. I like to be kept on my feet, someone like Nate is easy to understand because he’s straightforward. Which is great for Lola, she deserves someone who is like that.” You thought about all the past few guys Lola had a thing with. They weren’t that nice.

You passed the joint back to Chris who had his eyes trained on you as you spoke.

“So you like the tension, not knowing when or if someone wants you.” He tried to understand.

“Yeah. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice when it’s easy. But..” You trailed off.

“It’s more fun not to know.” Chris finished your trail of thought as if he knew the feeling.

“Exactly.”

A comfortable silence sat between you, passing the joint back and forth until it was gone.

“I have a question.” You asked, breaking the silence.

Chris tapped the joint out on his bedside table, and brought his attention back to you, “Go ahead.”

“Why did you invite me here? I mean, it’s not that I didn’t want to come, it’s just that we haven’t really talked much.” You asked, needing to know.

Chris chuckled.

“I thought it was more fun not to know?” He smirked, using your own logic against you.

“Come on! Tell me.” You persisted.

Chris leaned in closer to you, and you could swear your heart was beating out of your chest.

“I always see you in class,” He began to explain, continuing to close the gap between you, “sitting close to the front, answering all the questions. You’re pretty smart, aren’t you?”

The tension was palpable, and you felt yourself grow wetter as his low voice penetrated your ears.

“I want an answer.” He demanded.

“I- I guess so.” Your voice wavered, all of a sudden finding it hard to speak.

“I’ve always wanted to see how long it takes until I can make you speechless.”

And it surely didn’t take long, because in moments his lips were on yours.

It was as if every guy you had dated never existed, the feeling of Chris kissing you overrode any experience you had thus far.

His left hand rested on the back of your neck while his other hand took the opportunity to roam around your body, from your thighs to your chest, until it landed on your waist.

Your hands swiftly made their way to his arm and hair, while deepening the kiss he had started.

In a quick movement he lifted you onto his lap, letting both his hands find purchase on your waist.

With your arms wrapped around his neck, you slowly moved your hips rhythmically, earning a soft grunt from him.

Pulling away, he spoke, “You want to do this?”

You nodded, before asking the same of him.

“Do you?”

That same smirk that sent you reeling reappeared again.

“Does this answer your question?” He grinded his hips upwards into you, allowing you to feel his growing hard-on.

A whine escaped from your lips.

“No more talking.”

You reconnected your lips to his, the energy of the room turning into heated passion.

Chris’ hands slowly dragged down to your ass, kneading them with roughness.

You whined again, unable to stop any sounds from leaving your mouth.

The sound of the ongoing party downstairs could be faintly heard from inside the room, but you paid it no mind. You couldn’t, not while Chris had all his attention on you.

He briefly paused to take off the top you were wearing, and then resumed with his skilled tongue, sliding against yours. He took you off his lap, not separating from you for a moment as he laid you down on your back.

“Such a smart girl in class,” he pulled his shirt over his head and threw it behind him, “Does anyone know that you’re really just a little slut?” He kissed your neck, then your jaw.

“I need an answer.” Chris demanded again, and you rubbed your thighs together in want.

“No.” You breathed.

“No, what?” His hand glided up your thigh, separating them.

“I’m not a slut.” You managed to find words.

“So if I reach in between your legs, right now, you won’t be dripping for me?”

You knew you were.

A hand snaked through your skirt, pulling aside your underwear, and he slowly dragged a finger down your pussy.

“I’ve barely touched you. Do you want me to? Want me to touch you right here?” His finger, coated in your slickness, inched its way inside, just enough for you to feel it, but not enough to satisfy you.

You bucked your hips up, trying to feel something, anything.

But Chris pulled his hand away, causing you to whine in frustration.

Luckily for you, he wanted to feel you so badly, he couldn’t tease you for long. He grabbed the hem of your skirt, pulling it down your legs and threw it in the same direction as his shirt.

“I want to hear you. You love opening that mouth when we’re in class.” And with that, he pulled your underwear aside and attached his mouth straight to your throbbing clit.

All you could do was moan and writhe in his bed as he delved into your wet cunt, licking up all the arousal like a starved man.

Your hands flew to his hair, tugging on it desperately. The vibrations from the groan that left his mouth sent waves of pleasure tearing through your body.

Chris’ hands dug into the flesh of your thighs as they instinctively tried to close around his head.

“Fuck, right there!” You moaned loudly as his tongue dove inside your hole.

One of his hands left your thigh and drew circles on your clit, causing you to arch your back at the white-hot pleasure you felt from his ministrations.

Chris could feel his dick pulsate through his pants at the sounds you were making. He needed to feel you.

“You want me to fuck you, huh? Fill you up good?” He asked, and you knew by now he wanted an answer.

“Please, please, please.” Were the only words you could muster, too high on the feeling Chris had given you with his mouth.

He wasted no time on giving you what you were begging for, quickly discarding his pants and boxers, along with your bra and soaked panties.

Lining himself up with your entrance, he slid his dick over the slick of your pussy and pushed the tip in.

Your eyes had shut in anticipation, but when he made no attempt to move you opened your eyes to look at him.

He had waited until you made eye contact with him before pushing his entire dick inside you.

You both moaned at the full feeling, your walls contracting around him.

After a few seconds, Chris began to move.

Thrusting in and out at a slow pace as if to torture you, he shuddered, revelling in the feeling of your tight cunt.

“Fuck, feels so good baby.” You whined at the pet name, bringing his face down so you could kiss him again.

He started picking up the pace after this, your tongues smashing together in absolute need.

“Faster, faster.” You babbled, drunk off the sensation of his cock piston in and out of you.

“Yeah? You want me to fuck you dumb?” He grunted, loving how you could barely string full sentences together.

“Yes, yes, please. Need you deeper.”

The dirty words spilling from your mouth caused him to moan, and he flipped you onto all fours.

“Wanna see that pretty little ass bounce while I fuck you.” He muttered as he entered you yet again.

His pace was relentless, his balls slapping against you from the way he was pounding deep inside you.

You were just making sounds as you tried to say “Harder, faster, more,” but the words couldn’t form properly.

“The slut wants more? Can’t even speak but you’re begging for more?” He taunted you from behind.

You felt a sharp slap on your ass, followed by a soothing rub directly after. You practically yelled as Chris’ hand came down, your cunt convulsing.

“Knew you’d like that,” he slapped your cheek again, “Can feel you squeezing around me.”

You could feel the knot in your stomach unraveling, and you knew you wouldn’t last longer.

“Chris, gonna cum.” You managed to speak between moans.

“Come on baby, need you to cum while I’m inside you.” He groaned, trying to hold his own release off.

His words guided you right to your orgasm, shaking and crying while you came.

“Fuck, you want my cum inside you? Want me to stuff you full?” His pace was losing rhythm, chasing his orgasm while simultaneously overstimulating you.

“Mm, cum inside me. Want to feel it.” You cried, thrusting into him so you could feel more of him.

“So good, feels so good. Oh, I’m gonna cum inside of you,” Chris rambled, “Gonna fill you up with it.”

His moans were uncontrollable, spilling out of him as he relished in the warm feeling of your pussy.

“Cumming.” He grunted, as ropes of his cum spurted out, coating your insides until there was nothing left.

You both took the time to catch your breath, as Chris pulled out of you with a shaky sigh.

“Let me get you a towel.”

You turned onto your back once more, trying to comprehend the mind blowing sex you just had while dozens of people were partying downstairs.

Chris came back with a towel, cleaning the both of you up and passing you your underwear back.

“Hey.” You finally spoke, tired from all the stamina you had just burned.

“Hey.” He replied back to you.

“That was… amazing.” You sighed.

“Yeah, it was fun.”

You weren’t sure if he wanted you to leave now, or if you were supposed to stay, so you opted to do nothing.

“Let me take you on a date.” He announced, and you laughed.

“Don’t you think we’ve done this all a little backwards?”

Chris smiled and brought your head to his shoulder.

“I guess I’m just unpredictable.”

You then remembered you didn’t even use the condom you brought with you. You’d have to make your first date with Chris a trip to the pharmacy.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

a/n haha…. always wear a condom, kids!

hope you enjoyed my first oneshot.

send me any requests you want me to write! i think i’m gonna do an nsfw alphabet next, for chris and matt too

[netherfeildren]

Did the loneliness die that night?

A Fear of God story : Series Masterlist

Pairing: Joel Miller x OFC

Summary: Birdie and Joel's first time.

Content Warnings: Unprotected sex; Creampie; Rough sex; Oral sex; Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Descriptions of medical procedures; Size difference; Size kink; Mutual pining; Emotionally constipated idiots

A/N: Title is from Pablo Neruda's Love Sonnet XVII

Rating: Explicit 18+

Word Count: 7.3K

Read on AO3

“You should head home now, honey. No point staying so late. I think we’re done for today.”

“I will, Connie – soon. Just gonna read for a bit.” He pauses the tidying up of his papers to turn and look at you with those milky, discerning eyes of his. He’s been complaining recently that his vision is getting worse – his eyes tired and weak earlier and earlier in the day. You know he’s getting ready to call it quits soon, leave you with the gargantuan responsibility of running the clinic and caring for the people of Jackson all on your own. Your mentor, your friend, your champion – ready to ditch you.

You don’t think you’re ready. You don’t think you’ll ever be ready. You also know it’s not fair to categorize it as that. He’s tired. He deserves to rest. 

You also don’t think he’s going to give you much of a choice in the matter pretty soon. 

“You felt alright today?” He likes to check in on your confidence levels every now and then, knows you like to second guess yourself behind his back.

“Yeah… good. The surgery went well – I thought.”

“Yes, you were excellent. I have no doubt that our patient will recover beautifully.” He winks at you, slips his coat over his frail shoulders. You let a small smile unfold across your face, excellent, yeah, okay. If you could count on anything it was Connie as your number one hype man. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, my dear. I might be in a little later in the afternoon,” he warns, and you roll your eyes into your book where he can’t catch you. 

“Sure thing.” 

You sort of lose track of time into the night. Mainly because a large part of you is loath to go back to your quiet and lonely house. 

Sometimes it feels a little as if you’d spat out your heart in the woods where your sister was killed before you found Jackson, pieces of your memories. And this continuation of whatever it is that you’re doing now, building a life, living, going on, fucking bullshit, is a play act you’re putting on for yourself, for the people you take care of now, Connie who counts on you and relies on you and has been planting the seeds of his future and that of his patients in the soil of your mind. Too many responsibilities for a half girl living a half life. 

What was in that framework of a carved out house, that carcass of that fake life you pretend at when the sun’s high in the sky? Archeological remnants of a person you aren’t anymore, bones of a girl that, in too many ways, had died out there with her sister. 

Too morose. Too morose. Unnecessarily dramatic. 

You have a good thing here, this you know. A second chance, a place to do good. Those things are important. But what else? Nothing but stagnation and the waiting shoes of a great man who expects the world of you, and who you’re more afraid of than anything that you’ll be able to do nothing more than disappoint. Connie expects much from you. His past repeated in bright, shining colors in a world gone to rot. An impossible feat. How to make the most intelligent, most amazing person you’ve ever known, that expects the world of you, understand that all you have to give is little more than nothing?

But besides all that? Besides the crushing weight of expectation and inevitable failure and the certainty that you’ll never be able to be good enough for a world categorized in the before – what else is there for you here?

You stare blindly out the warped glass pane of the window. The house the clinic’s been accommodated to is old. Old, sturdy bones. Reliable. Like the house could weather any sort of storm. Remain standing and provide refuge to any of those who’d seek shelter here. This is what you need to make yourself into. 

But what else is there for you besides this? 

The question rings screaming in your mind. That terribly fraught, agonizingly selfish, humiliatingly ungrateful thought – when yes, you already have so much, but wait, there’s still something, something missing – that whispers that you still want one more thing, something else to fill that hollow ache inside of you. 

You wish someone would just tell you – set the answer before you, feed it to you by hand. Tell me, tell me how to fill the ache, and I’ll do it. You’ve always been good at following orders, doing what you’re told. You like to be told. You like the comfort and security of it. 

And then the bell above the front door chimes – it’s late – and there he is, stepping through your office door. 

“Joel–”

“Went by your house – what’re you still doin’ here? It’s late.” Sometimes it’s like he can read minds. Strange, mercurial wonder of a man. 

You take him in. “Your hand–”

He lifts up his bloody palm, dried rivulets of rust snake up his forearm and down his fingers. “Yeah… got caught on an old nail.” He shakes his head, looks back at you with a grumpy frown, “It’s late, sweetheart. You should be home.”

“I got distracted reading,” you say offhandedly, already up and moving around to collect the supplies you’ll need to patch him up. He really focuses on the most inconsequential details at the most inopportune times. “Come here–” you start dragging a chair over from Connie’s desk towards your own, a murmured, let me, from him, trying to pull the thing from your grasp. You shoo him away, “Sit,” you order, settling the chair in front of your own and pulling your desk lamp to the edge. Stubborn man. 

He falls heavily into the chair, an exhausted sigh following in his wake. “Always getting yourself into messes you shouldn’t be,” you say with a small smile, shaking your head at him. He only grunts. 

“You alright?” he asks gently.

“Yep, I’m okay. You too? Well…besides this.”

“Yeah, I’m alright, sweetheart.” You can’t stand it when he calls you sweetheart, it makes you all soft and desperate and wet. He’s quiet for a beat, and then, as if he can’t help himself, he asks, “Seen Ellie recently?” She doesn’t speak to him, and you don’t know why or what the extent of their relationship is, but you know something isn’t right, that there’s history, and that it hurts him. You know he worries for her because he always asks how she’s doing since you and she had become friends. 

“She came in this afternoon – she’s good,” you say quickly, seeing him sit up slightly at hearing she’d been in the clinic, “She just dropped by to say hi… she’s fine, don’t worry.”

He settles back in the chair. “Ain’t worryin’” he grumbles, another grumpy frown. He’s quiet for another long moment while he watches you set your needle in your forcep, gather the antibacterial to sterilize the wound. “Nancy in?” 

The old nurse who helped you and Connie out with the clinic and lived upstairs was a true wild child at heart. “She’s out with her girlfriend.”

“It’s almost midnight… isn’t she like seventy?”

“Seventy-four, but she has a young spirit, and love has no age,” you give him a pointed look. 

“Jesus,” he sighs. You grip the thick bones of his wrist in a firm grasp, drag the tips of your fingers over his palm, down the lengths of his fingers so that he’ll uncurl them. You think you hear what might be the resonance of something deep and rumbling coming from his chest that has your insides going hot and wet and soft. You want to tell him to not make sounds like that when you’re trying to focus, but you hold your tongue and begin to clean out the gash in slow, methodical strokes.  

 He tilts his head back when you start to drag the needle through his skin with a murmured, here goes. His neck is so thick, strong, the muscles and tendons popping starkly with his exhale, and okay, focus, focus, it’s time to focus now. You start to close the wide gash in his palm with a neat percutaneous closure, a simple interrupted suture with your safely guarded and jealously hoarded Vicryl – Connie has a contact that re-supplies you every few months. 

“Your hands are cold.” 

You pause your sewing to peek up at him. “Sorry.”

A shake of his head, “Should get the heat workin’ better in here.”

“It’s fine,” the drag of the suture through his flesh.

“S’not if you’re cold.”

“I’m fine, Joel.” He hums a displeased sound. 

You can feel his gaze searing into the skin of your face. Your cheeks are burning hot, the backs of your knees sweating. You hate it when he looks at you like this, have caught him several times, more and more frequently, and it fills you with a belly full of fizz and nerves, head dizzy and light. You’re certain that if he were to keep his eyes on you long enough you might get so lightheaded you’d do something really dramatic like faint or throw yourself at him and tell him he’s the hottest man you’ve ever seen in your entire life. 

“Got the longest lashes I’ve ever seen,” he says after a beat, so softly, and you feel your blush burn fever bright and self-respect-meltingly hot. A spearing twist of embarrassment and lust and the deepest sort of yearning you’ve ever experienced in your life boils through you so intensely that you even feel your eyes smart at his words. A tick starts up in your left eyelid from how nervous he makes you. All your anxiety and adrenaline being channeled to that one tiny, singular nerve to keep your hands steady while you sew his skin closed.

“Th– thank you,” you stutter, stupid, you should say something more, something better. What you’d really like to tell him is that he’s beautiful – rough and rugged and beautiful and that you see it, despite how hard he tries to hide it behind his eternal frown. You see him. He hums, and you register the tilt of his head out of your periphery as he settles in to inspect you. You’ve got both your knees tucked between his parted thighs, and as he settles in his chair deeper, he spreads them even wider, pushing his hips forward to slouch low, and fuck, you know you shouldn’t be looking, but you can even make out the thick weight of his cock beneath his jeans. So inappropriate, you chastise yourself, you’re the man’s physician, you’re tending to his wounds, he’s come to you in a vulnerable state, you shouldn’t be ogling and objectifying him. But on the back end of that thought is the whisper that there is absolutely fuck all about this man that is even the slightest bit vulnerable. For Christ’s sake, just look at him, so fucking thick and broad and strong and handsome, with the cockiest air of slight menace you’ve ever come across. You think that there is very little that could make a creature such as this vulnerable. You press your thighs together, pressing one foot on top of the other to squeeze yourself as small and tight as you can, cunt a twisting, wet ache. 

You’d wanted him from the first moment you’d laid eyes on him. It had been something almost intrinsic, instinctual. You’d seen him and all your brain and your body had been able to scream at you was that one, that one, we want that one. So perhaps you do have an answer for that screaming question that wants for more. Sometimes it feels like the two of you have been circling each other like blood in the water all this time. Like you both know, even if you can’t admit it just yet, that it’s just a matter of time until this strange, tense dance the two of you’ve been caught in comes to a head; cracks and splinters like a fault line and swallows you whole.

“When was the last time you had a tetanus shot?”

“Twenty years ago.”

You roll your eyes. “We’ll get you one of those then.”

A soft, uncaring grunt. “What were ya readin’?” Really, the most inconsequential things…

“Boring stuff.”

“Tell me.”

You pause again to look up at him, his gaze entirely sincere and demanding. “Foye’s Principles of Medicinal Chemistry, it’s the two thousand and two edition. Last one that came out before…” you shrug, “It’s a text Connie values highly. I’ve probably read it a dozen times front to back at this point,” you laugh as you work slowly. One of the things you admire most about the way Connie practices medicine is how precise and methodical he is in all his movements and decisions. He works with intention and care and a measuredness that’s something you’ve tried very hard to emulate as best as you can. 

“Hell, sweetheart… you do really’ve got a mind that amazes me.” And his voice is so soft, so contemplative as he says it. As if he too possesses that great depth of ability to be as methodical and patient and precise as you’d like to be. The cadence of him is so profound, almost vibrational, as if the words are carried on a frequency that only he exists on. You pause your sewing once again to glance up at him, and the way he’s looking at you… distracting. You are a weak girl, never one for much bravery or outlandishness, content to always follow the path laid out before you by other more exacting hands, but the way he looks at you, the fire in that gaze, you feel like you could do anything, be anything, and he’d take it in stride, be able to handle it. His gaze makes you want to be brave and reckless. 

You turn your eyes back to his hand, almost done now. “Ah, well… not so amazing, I don’t think. I was always just well suited to books and studying, and in a world like this… wasn’t so useful, I suppose. My father wanted me to do this, he was a physician – a real one–”

He cuts you off, “Hey, you’re a real doctor too. Don’t diminish what you do here, it’s fuckin’ amazing.” He knocks his knee into yours.

“Don’t jostle me, or I’ll stick you,” you scrunch your nose at him. 

-

You’re fucking flirting with him, provoking him, that little scrunch of your nose that always makes him feel like he’s two paces away from death, the lilt of your words ending in an upwards flutter like you’re singing at him, beguiling him. He feels utterly beguiled in this moment. He wasn’t lying when he’d said you’ve got the longest lashes he’s ever seen in his whole life. Long and thick and fanned out so that they cast shadows across the planes of your skin. You look like you’ve got the softest skin ever spun together, weaved on a loom just to come here and bring him to heel, and he wants to taste you so fucking badly, to sink his teeth into the back of your neck like prey and force you to your knees – utterly deranged thoughts that you seem to force out of him with those eyes and those lips and that voice. Your hair is long and shinning and he can smell you, sweet and soft like the evening after a summer rain. It makes him hard. 

The first time he’d laid eyes on you, he’d been shocked into stillness, speechlessness, thoughtlessness. So pretty and soft and then when he’d spoken to you, your mind, you’re so fucking smart, the sound of your voice, the pure, utter goodness you constantly exude. He wants to be let inside. He wants to be allowed to feel all that goodness and sweetness from the inside out. 

He’d forced himself to turn away from you then, to run the other way like a goddamn coward with his hair on fire. That was how much his initial reaction to you had scared the living hell out of him. 

He watches you work slowly now, that plush lip pulled between the edges of your teeth. The feel of the needle sliding through his skin is almost erotic, and he knows that he’ll remember this only as a gift afterwards. The slight sting of the laceration secondary to the blissful agony it is to have your hands on his skin. He wants to kiss you. He wonders if you’d let him. He wants to own you, even if for a moment, to feel like you belong to him, like you’re his. To hold something as beautiful and good as you in his hands. You should be in his arms right now, impaled on his cock. Christ, he can feel himself thickening in his jeans. He feels even hungrier now than before he got here. Seeking you out, going to your house to ask you for help even though he knew he shouldn’t. He’s been so clumsy lately, uncharacteristically so. He wonders if it hasn’t been his subconscious’s way of getting him into situations where he’d need mending, just as an excuse to get himself close to you. He thinks this must surely be the case, entirely transparent and desperate and pathetic. 

You finish the sutures in his palm, and he can’t even feel the hurt at this point, so hypnotized is he by the look of you deep in concentration, trying to mend him. You obviously can’t see that there’s no mending a man like him – not in any real way. But there’s a tiny voice at the back of his mind that whispers that if anyone could, it’d be you. 

You tie off the line of stitches in a tiny little square knot, and reach for a roll of Curlex to wrap his hand in. You’re so small compared to his brutish size, your knees tucked between his spread legs. You’re not wearing shoes, just some thick knit socks pulled over your feet, slouchy and scrunched around your ankles. The size of your thigh compared to his has his mouth going dry. Delicate and built so finely – like a little bird. He wonders if your bones might be hollow like a sparrow’s too, if you’d fly away from him if he dared touch you, and at that thought, that dazed thought, he can’t help himself. He is a weak man, after all, when faced with something so fine, and as you wrap his hand in the bandage he sets two of his fingers over the curve of your knee, rests them there. You jolt slightly, and he stares, hypnotized, at the point of contact. He feels you pause your wrapping for one second, the burn of your gaze on his face, and then you resume your work. No comment, no admonishment. No… he doesn’t think you’d let anything distract you from your work, from what you’ve set your mind to. You seem like the type of person who once your mind has been fixed on something, you see it through to the end, no matter what. He admires that about you.

You reach for a vial of something, a syringe, a softly murmured, undo your shirt, but Joel is shocked frozen. His eyes glued to the place where he’s making contact with you. He hears the soft exhalation of your breath through your nostrils, and then you’re reaching forward to undo the top few buttons of his shirt. He looks up at you then, eyes focused on your task, brow scrunched, you drag your fingers over the skin of his chest, through the hair there, along his collarbone and over the thick hill of his shoulder as you push the fabric covering him back. You do not look up at him, but he thinks he might be able to feel the heat of your blood thrumming beneath your skin. He sits there and lets you do with him what you will. 

When you bring the syringe to the hard muscle of his upper arm, a murmured, small poke, he does not feel it. The needle sinking into his flesh is secondary to the texture of your knee beneath his two fingers. With only his index finger and thumb he circles the joint of your knee, sliding slowly over your soft leggings. You’re so warm here, it feels like the heat of you is singing the tips of his fingers. Good, you should always be warm, always be comfortable. Perhaps the heat in the house isn’t so bad after all. He thinks, for one fleeting moment, that perhaps he should take the burn as a flare of warning, do not touch, something this good and beautiful, is not for the likes of you. But if he’s honest, he couldn’t give a fuck. After all, Joel’s never been very good. He’s always been a little on this side of too violent, too angry, too fractured, too hungry. And now that he’s got his hands on you he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop. The thought of that, the truth he can feel in it, makes his bones hurt, but he is hypnotized. He grips you more firmly in his hand, squeezes gently to feel the soft give of you. You finish with your stabbing of him, fuss with the bandage some more, and he flexes his injured hand once, still watching the place where he’s touching you, feels the tightness of the stitching, but nothing hurts right now. It couldn’t. It feels like his very bones are on fire, flaming within the confines of his skin, but it still doesn’t hurt. You bring your hands to rest in your lap when you’re finally finished. It’s his turn now, and he slides his hand further up your thigh, squeezing gently as he goes until he reaches your arm and grips the bend of your elbow, mumbles your name softly, cups the sharp angle of it in his palm, slides down the underside of your forearm to your wrist where he drags his thumb over the lacework of blue-hued veins there, beneath the fragile membrane keeping you held together. He thinks that the inside of your wrist might just be the softest thing he’s ever felt in his whole life. 

He can sense the cadence of your breathing ricochet up to a hitched, nervous little stutter, and he finally looks up at you, his thumb still strumming that gentle stroke over the staccato of your pulse. He can feel the beat of your heart in your wrist and he wants to feel it against his tongue, wants to feel you pulse around his cock. Your gaze is fevered, manic, full of fire and a shout that sings, finally, finally, finally, you’re touching me, I’ve wanted this just as long as you have. He can see it in your gaze, and an understanding filled with a juxtaposing poignancy he can’t quite comprehend washes over him suddenly. He thinks he might’ve always understood you, from that first moment, that first sighting. There was something in you that called to him, and he’d tried to resist, as of yet, but he is about to fail spectacularly, to fall into you gloriously.

He wraps his other hand around your opposite knee and brings it up and over the wide expanse of his thigh, and then pulls you bodily into his lap. You let out a soft, perfect little gasp, and then you’re there, straddling him. Both of you pause for a second, taking each other in. Your eyes are so wide, a little wet, he thinks you might be a little overwhelmed by him, hopefully as overwhelmed as he is by you. The feel of your lush ass sitting over his cock has him going almost lightheaded for a second. It’s been a long time since he’s touched a woman, and for him to now make his return to physical intimacy with you, he needs to tread very, very carefully. 

You bring one soft, small palm up to his face and cup his cheek, and he thinks he says your name again, but he isn’t entirely sure. His mind’s gone away from him a little bit. He can see each individual, ridiculously long lash up close like this, the strange amalgamation of colors in your eyes, deep and swimming with wanting him – fucking Christ – he might unman himself right here and now, at that look in your eyes, the peeling, dryness of your soft, plush lips where you’ve chewed on the flesh in concentration. You cup his jaw, drag your short nails gently over the stubble on his cheek and through the thick of his beard. He listens to the soft thwick, thwick of your nails catching on his whiskers, and the both of you shudder at the feel in tandem. You have a way of shaking yourself, as if to loosen your muscles, and he thinks, yes, yes, he wants to be let in, this is his chance. He brings his hand up to cup your own jaw, the hollow architecture of the fine bones, his other hand slides down the slope of your spine to curve over the softness of your ass. “Open up, little thing. Let me kiss you,” he says, his voice is almost unrecognizable to himself, low and gravely. He’s sure you can hear the want in it. 

You give a short, wide-eyed nod, and he presses his mouth to yours – watches the flutter of those long lashes shut, he can feel them ghost against his cheeks as he kisses you. Like a bird’s wings. 

He takes your mouth in long, slow, wet sweeps; licks his tongue into you and tastes the sweet inside of your mouth, runs his tongue over the surface of yours.

I’m inside, I’m inside, I’m inside. 

His hand on your jaw slides to tangle in the hair at the nape of your neck, tugs your head back to open you to him, to deepen the kiss, to take you and taste you as deeply as possible, and you moan, drawn out and whining and for him. Your moans, like your words, end on a little lilt that sing to him, and at that sound he loses himself. He thinks you take him away from himself because he is suddenly made ravenous and of only tenuous control. He groans low in his own chest, his hand on your ass pressing you more firmly into his hard cock, grinds the searing heat between your legs into himself. “W– wanted this for so – for so long,” he presses wet kisses into the corner of your mouth, your jaw, the slope of your neck, pulls the neck of your flannel to the side to lick into the dip of your clavicle. He undoes the first two buttons of your shirt, the tops of your breasts, the flawless skin, the soft contours of you – “Too beautiful for your own damn good,” he growls, pulls you tighter against himself, you’re not going fucking anywhere. 

He wants to keep you. 

He lifts to his feet then, suddenly, taking you with him, gripping you beneath your thighs to wrap you around his waist, and with one brash hand, he sweeps the papers and books off your desk, hears the clatter of your instruments hit the ground, and plants your ass down on the edge of your desk, grips your jaw to hunch over you and eat at your mouth. Your fingers tug at his hair and beard and open shirt, trying to pull him closer to you, your knees hiking up on either side of his waist to press the heels of your socked feet into the base of his spine. 

“Me too, Joel. Me too. Thought it’d never– never happen,” you pant into his mouth, claw harder at him. 

And fuck, to hear that you’ve been waiting for this, waiting for him to come and take you for himself. If he was not already a thing made of thrumming, uncontrolled energy, then he most certainly is now. You pause to look up at him then, a momentary respite of your frantic clawing, and you give him the sweetest curve of a small smile, the moment so private, so acutely intimate, it makes his knees shake.

You move to reach for his belt, but he holds you at bay, taking both your wrists in his grasp and pressing your hands back to the desk, forcing you to lean backwards so that he can kiss at your neck, taste your skin, he nudges his nose beneath the collar of your shirt to get at your clavicle, bites the strap of your bra between his teeth to drag it over your shoulder. “Baby, if you touch me now, this’ll be over before it’s even began.” He bites into the thin muscles of your neck, and you keen for him, sucks a mark into your skin he hopes you’ll wear for days. He wants you marked and branded by him. Your knees hitch higher at his sides and you press your heels into the small of his back, grinding yourself against the line of his cock. You let out a breathy, urgent sort of noise, rolling your little cunt as best as you can against him with your hands restrained as he’s got you. “You want that?” he grunts, giving you more pressure with his hips. Please, please, please, you’re full of the most delicious sort of supplications, and you’re so pretty and so desperate for his cock, and he must handle you with care. 

“M’gonna eat your cunt, sweet girl.” You whine low. He pulls back to take you in, glassy eyes and a deep flush starting at your chest and sneaking up the column of your throat. He tucks his fingers into the cups of your bra and scoops your breasts out. Fuckin’ gorgeous, bends his head to suck one perfect nipple into his mouth and pulls hard on it, enjoys the song of your mewling. He nips gently at the sensitive bud, gives the other one the same adoring attention, and then drops to his haunches before you. The look in your eyes is slightly manic, maybe a little apprehensive. “It’s alright, don’t be scared. Gotta get you ready for me.” All you do is nod. He hooks his fingers under your waist band and starts to slowly drag your leggings and panties down your legs, pulling one foot out, not bothering with the other. One of his hands slides slowly up the back of your calf, the other pulling your leg over his shoulder and spreads you wide by the bend of your knee. Exposing you to him completely. He groans low in his throat, “Knew you’d be beautiful, but I didn’t expect this.” He looks up at you.

“Joel–”

“Yeah…” He leans forward and presses his tongue into your slit, dragging slowly up towards your clit. He thinks he must growl like some sort of animal because you let out a breathy little hiccup, nervous and stuttered and try and press your knee in his grip closed. Nuh uh, he mumbles into your skin, grips you more tightly. He focuses on your clit, kissing and petting at it with his tongue, brings his other hand up to press gently at your entrance. You’re fucking small here, he begins to push a single finger inside and you start to really unravel at that, fucking tight too. He can’t wait to shove his cock into this tight, wet heat. He gives you his entire finger to the knuckle, drinking down your slick, holds there for a moment, and then begins to add a second finger, pumping them slowly, making room for himself inside of you. He scissors his fingers, twisting his wrist slightly from side to side, stretching you in new ways with each careful thrust. Slow and methodical and precise, ever aware that he is handling a delicate thing right now. He watches your face, your eyes flutter closed, your hips tilting to welcome his hand as he fucks you open. All the while he continues to lick and kiss your clit. His fingers find that spongy, sensitive spot inside of you, and you keen as he starts to pet at it, hooking his fingers and beckoning your orgasm forth. He feels your muscles begin to quicken, your head falling back on your neck as your flushed tits heave, trussed up as they are in your bra, and you're so slick, you’re melting down his fingers and into his palm, sweet and salty and musky. And you start to come for him, whining low and needy, your knee hitching up by his ear to press your little foot into the meat of his shoulder, trying to push him away and sit on his face at the same time. You tilt your hips further and roll your pulsing cunt onto his face. Goddamn, you’re fucking beautiful. He is mesmerized. His eyes never leaving your face as your gush all over his face and open mouth. He drinks it all up, licking and sucking and kissing, all while his fingers continue to work you through the contractions of your orgasm. 

Joel, Joel, Joel, you sing his name for him like a little bird. 

When the throbbing pulses have finally gentled he surges to his feet, licking his palm clean of your slick before he presses his mouth to yours and lets you taste yourself on his tongue. He undoes his belt and frees himself. Thick, brutish cock, the swollen head is an angry shade of red verging on purple, precum leaking from the slit. The fat head of it compared to your tiny, fluttering hole is obscene. The threads of his control snap in slow motion, one by one by one, and when you look down to take him in, the size of him, your eyes go big and round and that little foot is back, toeing at him to futilely press yourself away from him. He circles his fist around the thick length as he presses the head to your swollen clit, starts to slide the underside slowly through your wet cleft. 

“No, no, no, no, Joel. That– it isn’t going to fit. No– it’s too big.”

“It’ll fit. I’ll be gentle, don’t worry.” He presses the head into your clit again, hard, and you whimper. “Have you done this before, sweet girl?” Your blush flames even brighter if possible, and he watches the fluttering of those long lashes as you say quietly, “Once,” looking down at where the two of you make contact. One of your small hands has snaked up to grip at his shirt and anchor yourself to him. 

He slides one hand under your thigh to lift you while he lines himself up with the other, and then slowly starts to press inside. And fuck, so, so tight, your walls still slightly fluttering and trembling from your orgasm, hot as sin– “Jesus Christ–” he grits. He holds for one second, only halfway in, but no, no, it’s too much. “Shit, baby. This– This isn’t going to last very long, I’m sorry,” and then grips your ass and shoves all the way inside, hard, almost brutally, all the way to the end of you. You keen high and breathless, clawing at his shirt and skin as he feels you pulse and struggle around him, your muscles working to accommodate his size inside of you. He feels his tip bump your cervix, and he grinds there for a moment. Fucking Christ. 

“It’s too much, it’s too much, please, Joel – I can’t.” There are tears in your eyes. His cock makes you fucking cry, and he likes it, and he wants more. 

“You’re alright, you can take it,” he soothes, pulls out and then shoves back in. You’re impossibly wet, the slick, sucking sound of your pussy trying to keep him inside resounds in the quiet office. He starts to fuck you hard, in even measured strokes. You have to come on his cock. You have to, he has to feel it. “Easy now, settle. Yeah… just like that. Good girl.” Your wet eyes glisten with tears and your mouth hangs open, panting. You’re trembling, the much smaller body trying to force itself to take something so much bigger and remain intact, but he bends his knees and angles his thrusts up to fuck into your g-spot, and he starts to feel the fluttering of your overwhelmed muscles begin to quicken for him again. 

“Christ, you’re huge,” you squeeze your eyes shut, head falling back on your neck, and a single tear rolls down the smooth slope of your cheek. He bends forward to lick it up, fucking animal, and then licks into your mouth, tasting all that glorious desperation. When he pulls back he watches the fat base of his cock stretching you, red cunt, swollen and split down the middle obscenely. He’s sure your little hole is gonna gape for him once he’s done with it. The sight is so fucking pornographic he begins to feel his heavy balls tighten, a searing heat pooling at the base of his spine. 

“You’ve gotta fuckin’ come for me.” He bends to bite the swinging weight of your tit, sucks hard at your nipple as he starts to thrum at your engorged clit. Your hand twists in his hair, the other supporting your weight behind you. You start to roll into his thrusts, and he can’t hold it anymore, he can’t. He wraps a hand around your throat, stiffens and shoves hard and deep, an animal sound ripping from his throat as he feels you clamp down on him, his fist coming down hard on the desk beside you as he growls the start of your name between clenched teeth that turns into a guttural wordless snarl. He doesn’t even try to stop himself when he feels his balls pull up, almost painfully, and he starts to fill the wet heat of your cunt with his come, marking you as his. Fucking his. 

Your contracting muscles pull his spend deep into your womb, and you sing breathy, little sighs of gratitude right into the shell of his ear, heaving tits pressed up against his chest. He dips his chin to lick at the soft mounds and pulls out to spurt the last thick stream of come over your swollen folds. He rubs the spend into your clit with his thumb, pushes the little white trickle into your fluttering hole – he was right, it is gaping for him. His head feels trapped underwater and there’s a rushing noise in his ears. And then a terrible sort of bliss ruining realization settles over him, fuck, how careless can he be, filling you up like this. 

-

His limbs seem to snap with horrified realization. “Shit,” he spits, pulls away from your grasping fingers so quickly you’re forced to catch yourself on the edge of the desk without his support. “I– I’m sorry– I shoulda asked before. I shoulda pulled out, I’m sorry.” He turns slightly to tuck his wet cock back into his jeans, do up the buttons of his open shirt, and you slide off the edge of the desk onto shaky legs, bracing yourself on your chair to keep upright. Your knees knock together pathetically. 

“It’s– it’s okay. My period’s in a few days. We’re okay.” We. You flinch slightly at the word. There is no we in this situation between the two of you. The look on his face is making that painfully obvious. There’s a light in his eye that gleams peculiarly of anger – of fury. That seems to demand: how dare you make me feel like this, how dare you tempt me like this, how dare this thing we’ve both wanted for so long feel so good. Because it had, it had felt so, so good. 

The awareness of the emptiness he’s left in his wake at his withdrawal is almost painful. You feel stretched thin and filled to the brim at the same time. He’d filled you impossibly full, ramming up against your cervix, and then somehow seemingly pressing even deeper. You’re going to be sore for days. Your flannel is long, reaches mid thigh, hiding the vulnerable sight of your used sex from his eyes, but you can feel his come start to slowly seep out of you. 

He runs his hand through his unruly curls, over his mouth and beard. He’s facing slightly away from you, as if he can’t bear to look at you, and the sight of him like this, fucking coward, almost regretful or embarrassed makes a small pinch of hurt and anger curdle in your gut.

“Are you– was that okay?” he asks softly. You push your leggings and panties off your ankle with your other foot, wrap your arms around yourself. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” you say quietly. You think you almost see him flinch at the sound of your words. 

“Alright… okay–” he swallows. “Okay. That– that was the only time. Alright? That– that can’t happen again. I can’t – I’m not lookin’ to start anything up.”

“Okay.” What else is there to say? You can lie to yourself and say that once will be enough. That you can survive on only one time. You’ve always been very good at lying to yourself. 

He nods once. He’s so uncomfortable, and it makes you angry, nods again, “Alright. Good. I’m sorry again… and thank you,” he lifts up his wrapped hand. 

“Sure, Joel.” He turns and stalks towards the door, but pauses when he reaches it, seems to shuffle back and forth, weighing his options – the risk – and then turns, stalks back to you and takes you in hand. He wraps one large palm around your face, from your cheek to cup the curve of your jaw. The tip of his index finger presses into the outer curve of your orbital bone, his thumb on the edge of your mandible to angle your face up towards him, the other at the small of your back to press you up and into him, “Lemme just… I just want to–” he mumbles and takes your mouth with is. He licks into you, a soft groan of appreciation, of hunger, rumbling out of him. He likes the taste of you, he likes the feel of you, you know he does, even if he wants to pretend at recalcitrance. 

He is a thrumming effigy under your hands. There is something immensely sad and vital simmering just underneath the surface of his skin, and you think: he is so important. You know it now, right now, perhaps, since the first moment you’d set eyes on him. It feels like he owns you – already, in this instant – like he always has, and he’s just been biding his time, an apex predator toying with its food before he decides to gorge himself. You moan into his kiss, let yourself go soft and pliant, sceding all control, all of your will to him. He pulls back, tucks his thumb beneath the cleft of your chin to tilt your head back and peer into your eyes. 

“Sure…” he murmurs. He goes after that, out into the dark night. You stand at your window and watch the span of his broad back as he walks away, the wet feel of him sliding down the insides of your thighs, and you think that you might become quite a monstrous thing under the guiding hand of this desperate want, this terrifying loneliness that seems to abate only in his presence. 

-

He’s on your front porch two nights later, that was the only time, yeah, sure, urging you backwards as soon as you’ve got the door open, his hands in your hair and his tongue in your mouth with a rumbled, just one more time. Taking you for himself, once again. 

Netherfeildren's Masterlist

[midnightlizard]

Andy h x reader

I loveeeee the fics that are like the 5 times so and so ALMOST kissed And the time they did plzzzz something like that but if not. If you refuseeeeee I would loveee for a fic with like the station trying to set them up during Christmas with like mistletoe and stuff orrr just setting them up period with no Christmas teehee kinda a bit of a rant…

😘

-🖇

Took us long enough

Andy Herrera x gn! reader

Summary: four times you and Andy almost kiss, and the one time you actually do

A/N: hello and tysm for the request!! I love these types of fics too (I'm actually writing one with another character) so this was super fun to make. I also tried to mix the two ideas together, hope you like it!

Warnings: alcohol intake, mutual pining, sex innuendos

Word count: 6326

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1

"oh captain my captain" your boots echoed into the kitchen as you made your presence known, leaning with your hands on the counter.

"I'm not your captain (Y/L/N), you know that" Andy replied, not raising her head from the toast she was preparing.

"but you're my favorite captain" you shrugged your shoulders, then quickly turned to look at the door "don't tell Sullivan I said that"

Her focus was still on your previous words, so she could only mindlessly laugh at that.

Andy was used to your flattery, this was definitely nothing new, but it never failed to make her blush.

"why are you here all alone by the way?" you asked, stealing her food.

"Hughes, Bishop and Miller are on a call, the others are doing chores. And that-" she slammed her hand on the counter "-is my breakfast"

You reached for the bowl in the middle of the marble top, grabbing an apple and handing it to the brunette

"here's your breakfast, no need to thank me"

Andy raised her eyebrows at your smirk, shifting her gaze from your eyes to the fruit next to your face.

"how's your butt? Birdie told me you fell down the stairs on the last call"

The last call you were on had a big case of termites, and no one living there ever bothered to do anything about it.

So, when you were called because they heard the floor squeaking and you tried to get the old lady out, the wooden stairs failed on you.

Thankfully no one got hurt, except your butt.

"oh my butt's just fine. I don't know if I can say the same about yours"

She tilted her head to the side, silently questioning you. Her lips curled into an amused smile.

"birdie told me," and you both knew you were referring to the same birdie

"you got lucky last night, some 'handsome hair guy' gave you his number" you took another bite of her, your, food.

"well, not that it's any of your business" Andy started and crossed her arms, drawing a step closer to you.

You two were nothing, you two have never been anything but friends. Close friends even, yea sure, but not even between best friends there's usually this...tension.

A touch of a hand or a brush of a shoulder, or the look of encouragement shared before going inside of burning building; all of this was definitely not just friendly, and you could both feel it.

But none of you ever acted on it, for whatever reason.

So, even though it was none of your business, Andy wanted to made sure you knew the truth.

"his number was all I got, I didn't call him"

"ohw, are you scared to go on a date Herrera?" you challenged, lowering your head so your faces were even closer. "is it been that long since your last kiss?"

In a way, you weren't wrong. In the last few months, whenever Andy tried to get with someone, let it be a one night stand or a coffee date, it never felt right.

And she never wanted to admit to herself why it felt wrong, so she just put the dating scene aside, avoiding casual hook ups and flirting with strangers.

But you weren't a stranger.

And to say the tension was a secret would be a great lie. Everyone with working eyeballs could see it, and they all had things to say about it too.

But they don't always notice when they're interrupting a moment,

like Travis right now, barging into the room with his loud voice.

"what's for breakfast? I'm so hun- oh"

he stopped in his tracks, after seeing the position you two were in, making you take a step back from each other.

"did I interrupt something, cause I can go back and we can pretend I was never here"

"no nothing happ-, don't worry about it Travis" you waved your toast in the air, dismissing his entertained expression.

Andy brought her hands on her hips, still trying to wrap her head about what could have happened.

"and there's nothing for breakfast, it was Miller's turn but he's on a call"

The woman then turned to you, and leaned over you to grab the apple you offered her moments ago.

"you're lucky if you can make yourself a toast"

It was meant for Travis, but she never took her eyes off you, watching you take the last bite of her food, smirk on your lips.

2

Vic's posture was slouched and her lips were slightly moving as she counted the money in her hands.

You entered the break room and took a seat on the sofa across from her.

"are you handing out free cash?"

She didn't take her eyes off the bills, afraid she might lose count.

"I'm handling a bet actually, don't distract me"

At that, you let out a sound of surprise, clearly exited

"who are we betting on? I want in"

"I don't you can, since we're betting on you" Vic counted the money again, then put it in her back pocket.

"when are you going to man up and ask Andy out?"

You groaned at her words, throwing your head back onto the backrest of the couch.

"why are you even betting on that? I'm not going to, we're just friends"

It took Vic all her strength not to burst out laughing at you. And you don't think you would have blamed her either.

"alright. Who says I will?"

"oh everyone actually" she shrugged her shoulders, plainly amused by your reaction, "we're just betting on when it's going to happen"

"you're impossible" you replied, knowing damn well you would have loved this bet if it were about anyone else.

"and you're in love with Andy" she accused, slapping your shoulder.

And while you were having this conversation, Andy's day was not going very differently.

"I'm not in love with (Y/N), Maya"

Andy and Maya were assigned with cleaning the lockers room and the blonde tried to make it not so boring with some light conversation, except it wasn't all that fun to the other woman.

"oh come on everyone can see that"

"then everyone is blind" she stopped removing dust from one of the helmets to look at her best friend.

"why are you so persistent on denying it Andy?" the task at hand was long gone by now, and the two were just talking

"You used to tell me everything about Gibson or Tanner or anyone, why won't you tell me about them?"

"because-" the brunette raised her arms in the air, one of her hands still holding the rag she was using to clean the gear

"there's nothing to talk about, we're just friends"

Maya wanted to scoff, or laugh at her face, but much like Vic did, she kept to herself, returning her attention to her assignment.

"besides, why are you so sure they're into me?" she asked after a second of silence, keeping her eyes on the dirty lockers.

If you were into her, she wanted to know. Just out of curiosity, nothing more.

The other firefighter raised an eyebrow, then proceeded to shrug, before answering.

"the way they look at you, the way they talk to you, the way they look at your-" she was stopped just in time by the shirt Andy threw at her face.

"that's just...flirting" Andy tried to justify your behavior, but for some reason she didn't believe it, didn't want to

"they're flirty, I'm flirty, it's just a way to keep things interesting around here. Sorry you're too uptight to understand that"

"oh I'm too uptight?" Maya pointed a finger at herself, laughing in disbelief.

"okay so you're telling me," she put the false accusation aside

"that if you let your hair down, undid a couple of buttons, and swayed your hips, they wouldn't try to sleep with you? not even try to kiss you?" she challenged, pointing with her fingers at every part of her body she was talking about.

Maya enjoyed the hesitation on Andy's face.

"no, they wouldn't." she settled on.

"okay. Let's test it out"

"what?"

"let's test it out" the blonde repeated "and if they really don't try anything, I'll stop insisting"

Andy bit the inside of her cheeks, pondering her answer. She really wanted to get Maya off her back, but she didn't know if she was ready to face the truth.

"(Y/L/N), lieutenant Herrera wants to see you, in the lockers room" Maya's head appeared into the break room, making Vic raise her eyebrows and voice her thoughts in a teasing tone.

"wonder what the lieutenant wants in the room where everyone goes to get naked"

"you're insufferable" you glared at the woman, getting up from the couch. You would have said something else, but by Maya's choise of words it was probably something important, so you let her go.

"thanks Bishop" you nodded your head, exiting the room.

Unbeknownst to you, as soon as they were left alone, the two women instantly started gossiping about their recent conversations.

"lieutenant, Bishop said you wanted to see me?" you asked as you appeared into the room.

"lieutenant? so I'm not your captain anymore, (Y/L/N)?"

You were left with your mouth agape for a couple of seconds, you only called her that way when the situation wasn't serious.

"you..needed my help, as my lieutenant?"

"I needed your advice actually, on something not really work related" she explained, and you relaxed a bit.

"sure, ask away" you shrugged, leaning your back on one of the lockers.

"you think this is appropriate, for a date?" she opened her arms to better show her outfit, which was just her uniform. The only thing that really changed was her wavy hair, now free from the ponytail she always had at work.

You blinked a few times, before nodding

"uh I guess? perfect for an after shift day"

"do I know them?" she saw you fiddle with one of the hanging coats, but she didn't mention it, "another firefighter? someone you met at the bar, or-"

you turned to look at her, "mister 'handsome hair guy', you finally called him?"

"are you jealous, (Y/L/N)?" Andy squinted her eyes, and made a show of crossing her arms, making you follow the movement.

That was a big mistake, because now you were hyper aware of the few buttons missing from her shirt.

She took a step closer.

"why would I?" you licked your lips, and mimicked her action. Neither of you noticed, but those two steps were enough to get the two of you face to face.

"do you want me, to be jealous?" you lowered your voice, two of your fingers slipping into the loop of her pants, pulling her towards you.

"I-" her breath seemed to get stuck in her throat and her arms threatened to fall to her sides.

"(Y/N).." she whispered, and you could feel the word on your lips.

"Aid car 19. Medical response requested" the loud voice echoed into the silent locker room, but it didn't interrupt your staring contest.

"I'm on aid car today" you explained, and you knew you could get an earful from captain Sullivan if you didn't run to the truck right that instant, but you couldn't get your legs to move.

And Andy wasn't helping at all.

"I know"

"Aid car 19. Medical response requested"

"(Y/L/N), you ready?" you heard another voice yell from the other room.

This time, you took a step back.

"coming Warren" you yelled back, making sure he heard you.

"I have to go" you said, with more urgency then before, and all you got back was a distant nod.

"you'd look great in anything, by the way" you added once you had one foot out of the door, then shut it quickly behind you, missing the blush that covered Andy's cheeks at your comment.

3

The sound of the big door opening and the motor of the engine shutting off made your ears perk up, and you turned to see half the team getting out of the truck.

The captain instantly went to his office, but that's where he always was when he wasn't on a call, so that didn't surprise you.

What surprised you was that a certain brunette didn't even spare you a glance, going up the stairs.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her behavior, but you couldn't catch her attention as the man on the phone was still talking your ear off, and you were trying really hard not to be rude.

"and I'm sorry that happened, sir, but you can't call the fire department for something like this" you pinched the bridge of your nose, hoping to end this as soon as possible.

When he repeated the same problem for the third time you restrained a groan, leaning back on the chair, making someone laugh behind you.

You craned your neck to look at her, then motioned for her to come closer with your hand.

"there's nothing we can do sir, if someone stole your car you need to call the police, not us"

Maya laughed again at your words, leaning on the counter beside the phone.

"yes, yes, hope you can get it back, yes, goodbye" your tone grew more impatient with every word, until you finally ended the call, slamming the phone back on the table.

"desk duty is so fun right?" she mocked you, and she was less then effected by your glare.

"yea sure, that's what I dreamed about when I applied to be a firefighter" sarcasm laced your answer.

"hey uhm" you stalled for a second, Maya was acting normally, but it was very weird for Andy to ignore you, unless she wasn't in the mood to interact with anyone

"did anything happen on the last call?"

You saw her shake her head, almost confused by the question.

"I don't know, Andy seemed weird. But, she probably didn't see me" you tried to reason, but Maya nodding her head made you rethink what you said.

"nothing happened, but you should go talk to her"

Even though her words did nothing but fuel your confusion, you briefly thanked her, then went up the stairs.

You mindlessly played with your fingers as you paced back and forth in the hallway; despite Maya's words, you still didn't know if bothering Andy would be a great idea.

Maybe she wanted her space, that's why she ran straight to her room, or maybe she didn't have the courage to ask for the help she needed.

While your head was busy thinking about different scenarios, your feet made the decision for you, stopping you in your tracks, and your knuckles tapped two times on the wooden door.

Andy heard you calling out her name, and much like you did moments ago, debated whether or not to let you in.

A whole minute has passed with her biting her lip in thought, and keeping her eyes everywhere but on the door itself.

And when she finally made her decision, she was afraid it was now too late.

"come in"

To her surprise, you had been standing there the whole time, turning the handle at her words, and stepping slowly into the room.

She moved to one side of the bed, to make room for you. And you mimicked her position, leaning your back on the wall.

Since you didn't know what she needed just yet, you meant to stay silent, but she was the first one to break the silence.

"she would have died"

She kept her gaze ahead, even when your head turned to look at her.

"if the team followed my lead, she would have died."

"what are you saying Andy?" you whispered, noticing how she took her time to form words; and when she did, her words were hardly coherent.

"on the call, Sullivan asked me if I had a plan, and I had one. But we ended up doing as he said" she paused, her gaze falling to the hands on her lap "and thank god we did, because if we waited like i suggested she would have died. And it would have been my fault"

"but she didn't"

"yea because I'm not a captain, (Y/N)" for the first time she looked back at you, with furrowed eyebrows and a pleading look in her eyes.

"I've been so fixated on thinking I should be the captain because my dad was, that maybe- maybe I don't deserve it" she concluded, lightly shaking her head.

It was no secret that having Sullivan as a captain has been hard on everyone. You could handle a strict leadership, sure, you were used to hostile situations anyway, but this team has always felt like a home, and someone suddenly entered the family, altering its balance.

And it was definetly no secret that the one who has suffered the most from it was Andy. She had to see her father step down, and the station she grew up in being commanded by someone else, someone who knew nothing about any member of the team.

She tried not to let it show, always claiming she accepted the change, and just wanted to make a good impression on the new captain.

But you could see how it was eating her alive.

You reached for her hand, linking your fingers together. You didin't say anything, waiting for her to look at you, and she did.

"we don't know what could have happened" you whispered "maybe you would have changed your mind halfway through, or you would have taken your teammate idea and changed the plan. You would have saved her, I'm sure of it"

Judging by her silence, you thought she was considering your words, until you heard her take a sharp breath in, and her hand in yours briefly loosened it's grip.

She was finding it harder and harder to keep eye contact, she felt the corners of her eyes burning, and if it were anyone else right now she would have just asked them to leave.

But you weren't anyone else, and she found herself hanging onto your every word, your tone showing a warmth only the touch of your hand could recreate, and with the way you were looking at her, she has never felt more naked, more vulnerable.

"you don't know that" she breathed out, sounding almost defeated.

"no I don't" you admitted, because you didn't. "but I know that you would have done anything in your power to save everyone, like you always do, as a captain or a lieutenant or as a person. I would follow you into a building on the verge of collapsing if you told me to do so, which could happen tomorrow" she lightly chucked, knowing this was a very plausible scenario.

Your tone became serious again, "because I know you pondered every other possibility, and I trust you to make the right choice." your tongue came out to swipe against your lips, and Andy couldn't help but follow the action with her eyes

"I mean it when I say you're the best captain this station could ever have"

"(Y/N)..." she didn't know why she called your name, you were right there, but you were the only thing on her mind at this point.

You were so close to her, she just head to tilt her head and she would feel the lips that uttered such comforting words on hers.

But when she scooted closer, or maybe it was your doing, you blinked rapidly, almost as if you just realized what was about to happen, then cleared your throat.

"you should get some sleep"

You almost regretted your words as you took in the hurt expression on her face. You would have wanted nothing more than to allow her to zero the distance, to finally give clarity to this weird relationship between you two, but you didn't want to take advantage of her vulnerable state, and confuse the need of comfort with love.

"I'll see you after my shift?" you forced yourself to ask as you got up from her bed when she made no move to talk.

"yea" she only noticed you getting to her door when her hand started to get cold again.

"thank you"

"anytime" you replied softly, then closed the door behind you.

4

You took another sip from your cold beer, while you leaned your back on the wall.

You stopped interacting with the others a little while ago, just content with listening to them talk.

To be honest you weren't really following what they were saying, all became a blur to you after the second, or the third beer, but you could recognize their light tones and careless laughs, making you feel at ease.

You could make out Travis and Jack's voice, with some interventions from Dean here and there, probably warning them not to get their feet on his coffee table.

You could also make out the sound of the water by the deck slowly moving with the wind.

The one sound that came crystal clear to your ears was a certain brunette's laugh as she talked with her friend a few feet away from you.

Even if Andy, and Vic for that matter, caught you looking in their direction multiple times, you could just say that you were looking at the water behind them, not that they would believe you. Vic definitely wouldn't.

As you raised the bottle to your lips you found your mouth empty, and a little frown took over your face.

You didn't bother warning the others, it's not like you were participating in the conversation, and headed inside.

And once you were back in the house the lack of the wind running through your hair made your cheeks feel really warm, making you realize they were probably red on the outside.

You actually went inside to get another beer or something to eat, but once your eyes landed on it, you couldn't resist the couch in the middle of the room.

"careful with your head like that, you might throw up"

it was only a few seconds of you sitting on the couch with your head leaned back in the air over the headrest until you heard her soft voice, and her heels coming closer to you.

"and you followed me to make sure I wouldn't?" you changed position, guided by her hand on the back of your neck, and saw her sitting next you.

"it was more so you wouldn't get another beer" she chuckled, turning so her middle was facing you.

"I wasn't going to get another beer" you lied.

She began speaking again, about what you didn't know, you weren't even sure she was talking; you could just see the way her lips moved, lips that had much more lipstick earlier this evening, she must have removed it by accident with a napkin after eating.

Her makeup was still on point though, you saw her subtly checking it with her phone before, but you were too far away to tell her it was perfect.

You were used to her wearing make up, she did that for a night out or, in this case, when you had little parties at Dean's house.

But there was one thing you didn't see often.

"what are thinking about?" her words finally entered your brain, making you blink rapidly.

Your voice came out slightly unsteady, but Andy was the only one to notice

"your hair"

"my hair?" she raised her eyebrows, cackling.

Between the alcohol turning your gears and her laugh stopping them, you struggled to find your next words "yea it's-" you scooter closer, one hand reaching to twirl a lock of her hair between your fingers "-different, I like it on you"

She got out a small "thank you" as she saw you playing with the ends of her curly hair, and she could feel your breath on her collarbone from the way you were leaning into her.

"sorry, I don't want to ruin it" you apologized, letting your hand fall next to her thigh.

When you raised your head to look at her you found her really close to your face, lips mere inches away from each other.

"it's okay" she reassured in a whisper, but she had a feeling your head was somewhere else.

In a bold act, probably guided by the alcohol, you propped yourself up on the couch to get even closer to the brunette, and closed your eyes.

You opened them again when you felt a hand on your chest, Andy's fingers gently grabbing the fabric of your shirt.

Her mouth was still agape, trying to grasp the right words.

"you're drunk" she whispered, but it felt more like an inconvenience rather than a statement.

She didn't give you time to reply and just got up from the couch, excusing herself as she went back outside.

Even after you were left alone, your eyes were still on the same spot were Andy was seated, trying to translate abstract thoughts.

Then, letting out a big sigh, you resumed your position on the couch.

And suddenly, the alcohol in your system wasn't nearly enough to stop you from realizing what you just did.

And how Andy reacted.

You felt the couch dip beside you, and it was only then you reopened your eyes, finding Maya next to you.

You two sat silently for a while, she didn't drink as much as you did, but you could see the light redness on her cheeks and her relaxed eyebrows.

She probably came in here to get away from the voices that seemed to get louder every second; as some of them tended to get loud when drunk.

You cleared your throat, but your voice still came out in a whisper.

"I almost kissed her"

And if you weren't so distracted you would have slapper her for the surprised laugh she let out

"you what?"

"I almost kissed her" you repeated, this time louder "and she pulled away"

While you were looking at the ceiling you missed the way the blonde fully turned her body towards you, adjusting one leg under the other. She squinted her eyes, almost hoping you were so drunk it was all just incoherent blabbing

"what do you mean she pulled away?"

"she pulled away, she rejected me, she refused me, she turned me down- is it clear now?" you asked sarcastically, placing the empty bottle that was still in your hand on the coffee table in front of you.

The blonde furrowed her eyebrows, deeply confused with this turn of events.

"...Andy?"

"yes Maya, Andy. Who do you think I'm in love with?" normally you would have never let something so big slip, especially when she was in the other room, but you were too drunk and confused and hurt and tired to care about filtering your words.

Thankfully she didn't make it a big deal, and tried her best to comfort you. Truth was, Maya herself didn't know how to help you, she was so sure Andy had feelings for you that she couldn't think of any reason why she did what she did.

So, when they all got back inside to end the night and Andy saw you sleeping on her shoulder, and offered to drive you home, Maya tightened the hold on your shirt, stating you didn't need it, and you could just sleep at Dean's for the night.

You made sure to thank Maya the morning after at the station, while feeling a pair of eyes on the back of your back.

5

After the "accident" at Dean's house, you expected Andy to treat you differently, or even to avoid you, but to your surprise she acted normally around you.

Or at least she tried to.

While you tried to pretend nothing ever happened that night, for Andy's sake, Andy couldn't stop thinking about it.

It was not the first time you almost kissed, so it shouldn't bother her this much; but it was the first time she pulled away.

This time there was no call, no one entering the room, no one interrupting them but herself.

She tried telling herself that you didn't really want it, that you were too drunk to actually realize what you tried to do, but it was all just an excuse not to blame herself.

Every time you looked at her she couldn't get the image of your eyes closed and your red cheeks out of her head, every time you talked to her, Andy couldn't stop thinking about how you so softly complimented her hair, and it was becoming harder and harder not to confront you.

But thankfully, with your line of work, she was able to put personal business aside and just treat you like a coworker.

"(Y/L/N), Bishop, what's the situation?" your lieutenant asked through the radio.

She was assigned by the captain to the hoses outside the condo with Montgomery and Hughes, while you and Maya had to go inside the building to check where the smoke was coming from.

"we're on the fifth floor for now, there's still no fire but I'm starting to smell the smoke" the blonde replied, before shutting down the communication.

"you know what I was thinking about" she started, casting you a quick look and seeing your raised eyebrow through the mask before continuing "Andy's been acting weird around you"

"yea I wonder why" you sarcastically remarked, ignoring her laugh.

"no I mean, good weird. She looks at you more from across the room, she always seats beside you during breakfast, she asks you how you are during a call" she finished, referring to what she did a few seconds ago.

"she asked us" you clarified "and she is not acting any different, you're seeing things"

Not that Maya told you, but after that night Andy came to her to confide in her best friend, and finally told her the truth.

"I think you should tell her how you feel, maybe she just needs to hear you say it" she encouraged you, now that she knew both sides she couldn't help but try to push you in the right direction and end this endless pining.

Without stopping, you answered "oh you want me to be direct? Sure" you mimicked her action, shrugging your shoulders "do you remember when I tried to kiss you and you pulled away? yea well, I wanted to tell you that I really like you, in case you wanted to turn me down a second time."

You scoffed at your own words and turned a corner, but when you saw her stopping in her tracks you also stopped, confused.

"there's the smoke" she announced, making you look at the apartment at the end of the hallway, and while she ran towards the door, you opened your radio.

"captain, we found the source, east side of the building. We're going in"

Turns out the apartment belonged to a single mother and while she was distracted by her kids the stove she was cooking breakfast on caught on fire, and the flames instantly engulfed the door, forcing her to hide in the other room with her two boys.

While Maya helped the woman and the kids evacuate the building, you stayed behind to extinguish what was left of the fire.

After receiving confirmation that there wasn't anyone else left in the apartment, you got out of the building to finally get some fresh air.

You sat at the back of the engine, with the oxygen mask covering half of your face. You were looking in front of you at the smoke slowly disappearing when suddenly someone blocked the sun from hitting the side of your face, making you look up at her.

"you're using our vics' masks" Andy leaned on the door of truck, but made no move to grab the device.

"oh I didn't know-" you went to take it off your face, but her hand on your wirst and her laugh stopped you.

"I'm kidding, they used it while you were inside." she explained with a smile. But then it seemed to falter for a second "are you okay? Maya said it shouldn't have taken you that long to extinguish the fire. I could have sent someone up to help you."

You closed one eye and furrowed your eyebrows when her new position exposed you to the sun once again, but you kept on looking at her with the other eye.

You found it cute how she offered you help without realizing she couldn't have made that decision by herself anyway.

"don't worry about it captain, I was just checking for any gas leaks" the fake title rolling off your tongue as sweetly as the last time you used it a couple of weeks ago.

She saw you putting the oxygen mask behind you and let her gaze fall to the ground. When she finally told Maya how she feels about you, the blonde never revealed what she knew about your own feelings, and only told her to "go for it", which didn't help. at all.

"what's up with you?" your fingers reached for her belt loops and brought her closer. Andy widened her eyes slightly in surprise but when she noticed your relazed eyebrows, she realized you just moved her to block the sun.

"what do you mean? I'm fine" she knew it was useless with you, but she still tried to play dumb.

"I know you Andy, I can see when you're lost in your thoughts"

You gave her time to answer but she took it to look at your features.

The full face mask you wore before made your hair messier that they normally were, and your uniform had now dust and ash traces. Since her body covered the sun from hitting your face she couldn't see the brightness she was used to admire in your eyes, but they still held the same softness they always held while you were looking at her.

What she couldn't really take her eyes off where your cheeks. Being close to the fire made your body temperature grow, and gave your cheeks the same hue they had the night at Dean's house.

And that made Andy think.

Maybe your action weren't completely controlled by the alcohol.

In a spur of confidence, Andy grabbed your rosy cheeks, bringing you closer to her. And suddenly, much to your surprise, her lips where on yours.

You put one hand behind you so you wouldn't fall on your back with the force she was using, while your other hand went to reach behind her neck.

Andy could almost taste the smoke you inhaled minutes before, but the fact that you were kissing her back was enough to make up for it.

When she pulled away and straightened her back from the uncomfortable arch it was in, you slowly reopened your eyes and you honestly couldn't tell who looked more surprised.

"I thought-" the hand on your cheeck was making it just that bit harder for you to think "when I tried to kiss you-"

"you were drunk" she replied "I wasn't sure you really wanted it and I didn't want to finally kiss you when you wouldn't be able to remember the next day"

You kept looking between her eyes during the explanation, your hand going back to her waist mid speech.

"I will definitely remember now" you remarked, before pulling her in a second kiss.

Before you could detach yourself from her lips, you heard someone's footsteps coming towards you, then a loud cheer sounded from behind Andy.

"I see you two finally did it"

"and now I don't have to keep your secrets anymore" Maya added, following Vic.

"wait you knew? why didn't you tell me, Andy?" Vic looked between the two women,

"because you suck at keeping secrets Vic" the woman next to you answered, crossing her arms. She shifted her weight, slightly leaning into you hand still resting on her side.

"you really do, Vi" you chuckled, backing Andy up.

"yea whatever you know what?" she pointed at the both of you "I still won the bet, so thank you anyway, love birds" Vic proudly announced, but before getting in the back of the engine, she turned to the blonde once again

"and you're not getting anything, since you already knew"

At that, Maya groaned, following her "oh come on, that's not fair"

Their argument got lost on you as you turned back to look at Andy, who looked both amused and confused. She probably wasn't aware of the bet.

You got up and kissed her cheek to bring her attention back to you.

"do you want to drive?" she asked after a second, knowing that with her as lieutenant you'd sit next to her.

"yea, I'd like that. And,"

you took a step forward, your lips hovering hers "we can talk about this later?"

She nodded with a smile, but when she tried to close the distance, Travis honking from the aid car startled her.

He was a few meters away, so he wasn't able to see what was happening, or he would have never interrupted.

But Andy decided right this moment that she didn't want to get interrupted by anyone anymore, so she put her arms around your neck, and leaned in to kiss you again.

"let's go back, before we get another call" she spoke up once she separated from you, then walked past you to get into the passenger's seat.

And as soon as you started the engine, you heard Andy's incredulous voice, making you laugh out loud

"why did no one tell me about the bet?"

Andy Herrera Masterlist

Station 19 Masterlist - General Masterlist

[in1-nutshell]

Bot Buddy crushing on another Autobot and their friend Jazz finds it out

SFW, platonic, romantic, Cybertronian/ Bot reader

Oh boy.

Listen, Jazz is probably the best bot to find out Buddy has a crush. Especially if the bot in question is in his circle of friends. Once he gets a whiff that Buddy might have feelings for someone in the Autobot ranks, he wants to know everything.

“Buddy, my bot, a little birdie told me you have optics on a mutual friend of ours.”--Jazz

“…What do you mean?”--Buddy

“Buddy we both know what it means.”--Jazz

He won’t push Buddy in saying who their crush is. He is respectful of their boundaries. If Buddy wants to tell him, he knows they will come to him. Jokingly tells Buddy that he will sic Prowl on the crush if the bot is a douchebag. If Buddy is good friends with Jazz, there’s a good chance they work with Prowl and becoming his friend despite him calling them coworkers.

“Jazz I don’t think Prowl would be interested in finding out who my crush is, not that I have one of course!”--Buddy

“They’re right I don’t want any part of this plan Jazz.”--Prowl

“Uh huh. Okay keep telling yourself that Prowl. I know you want to do some digging in this crush.”--Jazz

“…no?..”--Prowl

“Prowl!?”--Buddy

Prowl would 100% go over and interrogate the poor bot if he gets the chance. And if Buddy is really good friends with him, it’s going to be sooner rather than later.

There is a good chance that Jazz has met the bot before or at least heard of them. He gets around fast and gets along with a lot of people.

“So, who are the suspects?”--Jazz

“I have a full file on potential ‘crushes’ Buddy might like. None seems suitable for them though.”--Prowl

“Aww. You care Prowl.”--Jazz

“… Anyways I have a board with the top 5 potential bots on a rating of—”--Prowl

“Prowl? Jazz? What are you guys—”--Buddy

“We’ve been discovered! Hide the evidence!”—Jazz

“Ten steps ahead of you already!”--Prowl

“What did I walk into?”--Buddy

Let’s say that the bot in question fall in Jazz’s Good Guy book. Jazz would 110% be Buddy’s wingman. He would help come up with romantic scenery and ideas if Buddy doesn’t know what to do.

“Jazz, I don’t know about this. Maybe I should wait a little longer.”--Buddy

“Listen, there’s a full moon is overhead and several Madona songs are going to be on the radio when you’re with them on patrol. Its perfect timing, now go and get ‘em tiger!”--Jazz

If he ever came across the bot in question, he would definitely put in a good word about Buddy so casually no one notices.

“Hey man, you know who is perfect for this job? Buddy. Buddy has to be one of the best in the business. Hold on I’ll go get them.”--Jazz

“You know Buddy could definitely tell you what’s going on with this. Really, they can tell you so fast and save you the extra paperwork.”--Jazz

However, he will be honest with Buddy if the bot doesn’t seem worth it. Which brings the question to what would happen if the bot was in Jazz’s Bad Guys book.  Not many end up on his book but if they are there it means that they are definitely not worth it.

Would be serious about sicing Prowl on them if Buddy gets hurt.

“Buddy, I’m telling you. They are no good. They aren’t worth it.”--Jazz

“But Jazz—”--Buddy

“I have a whole file on their history and things they have done.”--Prowl

“Prowl!”—Buddy

Overall, would be happy if Buddy found someone who could potentially become their significant other.

But will not stray away from violence if the need arrives.

[vivalas-vega]

move on / part three

the next part is here !!!! as always pls lmk what you think!

move on / jake ‘hangman’ seresin x reader / part three

add yourself to my taglist

word count: 3.4k

warnings: angst, language, that's abt it 

“Will you stop being such a baby?” you asked, trying to stifle your giggles as you turned your head to look at Rooster in all his pouty glory. You’d just beaten him for the third time at pool before he decided to call it quits and give his battered and bruised ego a break to sulk in one of the booths. You’d followed behind shortly after, not wanting to get involved as Coyote and Phoenix went head-to-head, their insults still clearly heard even a dozen feet away. Rooster slung his arm over the back of the booth and shot you a look of disdain.

“I’m not being a baby, I’m just saying you have an unfair advantage.”

“The fact that I’ve been playing pool longer than you have is not an unfair advantage, it’s just a fact of life,” you shrugged, enjoying his misery and the free drink the skills you’ve been honing for years earned you. 

“Regardless, I’m never playing you again.”

“Scared, Chicken?” you teased, nudging his knee with yours and you felt a pair of eyes on you but you were trying to ignore it the best you could. 

“Me? Scared? In your dreams,” he replied and you just shook your head and laughed. Things had been going a lot better than you had anticipated they would, you were terrified Jake’s sudden return would completely unravel all the progress you had made over the last few months but it didn’t. All of Rooster’s help, advice and support had stuck with you and kept you strong, and you were committed to coexisting as colleagues. You hadn’t yet plucked up the courage to ask Jake why he had left, as with most things recently Rooster had been right when he said you wouldn’t feel settled until you knew the reason but you just weren’t ready to go there yet and reopen the wound when it was still so fresh. 

“Keep telling yourself that, Chicken,” you chuckled, resting a hand on his knee and keeping it there, “how did that date go last night?”

He shrugged, “don’t think she’s the one but she’s fun to hang out with, don’t think either one of us are looking for anything serious.”

You hummed, “sounds like a promising mutually beneficial not-relationship,” you joked. 

“Could be, no immediate red flags which is a good sign,” he replied.

“Any yellow flags?” you asked and he laughed.

“She reached for the check even though I’m the one that asked her out.”

“Classic move, reach for the check even though you know your date is paying. It’s just considerate, I’d say a very light green flag.” Phoenix made eye contact with you as she set her pool cue to the side and you squeezed Rooster’s knee before getting up to join her in the restroom.

“How are you doing?” she asked, attempting to be nonchalant but she was about as subtle as a hand grenade.

“I’m good, Phe, surprisingly good.” She nodded at this, leaning over the sink to tame some hairs that had escaped her bun. How she didn’t immediately pull it out after changing into her civvies was beyond you as you fussed with your own hair before heading back out into the noisy bar where you approached the pool table and caught a conversation you knew you weren’t supposed to.

“Come on man, dick move asking me that, you know I don’t want to be involved.” 

“It’s just a question, Coyote.” 

“A loaded question. You weren’t here man, shit got really dark there for a minute and we were all scared. Rooster stepped up, shifted his life around to be there for her day and night and got her to open up when no one else could. You don’t get to ask questions about Rooster and Birdy, and you don’t get to have an opinion.” Coyote said with a sigh and your brows furrowed in confusion.

“They seem really close is all I’m saying, I didn’t mean anything by it.” Jake said and you pieced together what he must have asked… something along the lines of you and Rooster being an item. You weren’t sure what you were feeling at first, not sure how you should react to him asking such a question as Phoenix cleared her throat next to you and guilt quickly passed over Jake’s features as he noticed the two of you.

“Birdy-” you just held a hand up to silence him before deciding to walk outside, desperate for a breath of fresh air. 

“Are you shitting me, Bagman?” You could hear Phoenix chastising as the door swung shut behind you and as you took those first few steps out into the sand you felt anger start to bubble, pushing to the surface and welling your eyes with tears. You inhaled deeply, trying to remember one of those breathing exercises Rooster had taught you but it wasn’t doing much to help at this moment. You felt the atmosphere change around you and this only made you angrier, the fact that your body was still so in tune with him that you needed no visual or auditory confirmation of the fact that he was there… you just knew. 

“Birdy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” he started but was cut off as you turned around to face him.

“Didn’t mean what? You didn’t mean to ask Coyote if Rooster and I were dating? As if that’s any of your business? It was an accident and it just slipped out of your mouth?” you asked, everything you’d been telling yourself about keeping calm and cordial in his presence flying out the window.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I just… wanted to make sure I wasn’t missing some crucial piece of information.” he replied, and you felt sick to your stomach looking at him. He looked guilty, remorseful even and you hated it. The first time you saw him on base after his return you had a brief conversation with him about boundaries, about keeping any interactions related to work and letting him know you hoped he got invited to team hangouts because he was apart of the team but that you wanted to keep your distance in social settings and he’d respected that. The last few weeks he’d stayed out of your way and been mindful of each and every boundary you’d set and it was beginning to infuriate you. You knew this was irrational, knew if he hadn’t respected those boundaries you’d be just as furious and Rooster’s words rang in your ears. You can’t be around him without getting to the bottom of it. 

“Crucial information? Nothing about my personal life is crucial to you anymore, Jake.” you shot back and he just nodded his head solemnly.

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and you thought he looked truly pathetic right now, something that was such a foreign look for him. Usually so cocky and arrogant now looking like a kicked puppy. 

“God, stop saying that!” you shouted, letting yourself feel the anger and not sparing him any of it. “Stop fucking apologizing, I am so tired of it, I don’t care that you’re sorry.” 

He nodded again, “Birdy, I didn’t mean to upset you, I want us to be able to be around each other without this happening.”

“Then tell me why.” you said, willing the tears threatening to spill over to stay right where they were. “I can’t be around you and not know, and it’s not fair that I don’t know.” 

“It won’t… it won’t change anything-”

“I deserve to know. I deserve to know why you carried me home, fucked me, and told me you loved me only to leave in the middle of the night with no warning. Because people don’t do that, Jake! They don’t move in with someone, they don’t talk about white picket fences and engagement rings and golden retrievers to disappear like it all meant nothing. I need to know.” You couldn’t fight the emotion any longer, letting the tears flow freely down your face and Jake’s natural instinct was to close the distance between you and wipe them away but he wasn’t allowed to do that anymore and he grimaced at that realization.

“I loved you too much.”

“Excuse me?” You swore you felt your heart stop in your chest before lurching into a dead sprint, hammering against your ribcage, pulsing through every limb of your body.

“I got scared. I-I loved you too much, too deeply and it scared the hell out of me, Birdy. All the talk of white picket fences and engagement rings and golden retrievers, it… it hit me all at once, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me and I wasn’t ready for that realization.”

“Are you kidding me? All of this, all the heartbreak and the confusion because you got scared? What the fuck is wrong with you?” you shouted, and you winced at your own voice, trying to keep your reactions measured but it was no use. 

“I know, it was wrong, I handled everything wrong. Laying there that night with you sleeping so peacefully in my arms it all hit me and I got overwhelmed. I thought if I left it wouldn’t hurt either one of us as badly as it would when I inevitably fucked it up some other way.”

“So, ruin something on the off-chance you might have ruined it later? That makes a hell of a lot of sense, Jake,” you scoffed and wiped at the ever-falling tears on your cheeks.

“I did everything wrong, I fucked up, Birdy and I’m so sorry. If I could change everything I would, you have no idea how many times I go back to that night and wish I could have chosen any other option.” He wiped at his own falling tears now and the sight broke your heart but you refused to let yourself acknowledge that.

“I do know, Jake, because I did the same goddamn thing, only in my version it wasn’t wishing I could change my decision, it was wondering what the hell I did to make you leave. God, I have spent the last year of my life wracked with guilt and grief trying to figure out where it all went wrong, what I did or said that made you run away only to find out it was fear? Cowardice? Over something that is normal in relationships? It’s not supposed to be easy deciding to spend your life with someone but you talk about it, Jake, you don’t pack a bag and disappear.” 

“I know that now, I made a mistake.”

“A mistake is a parking ticket. You know what, Jake, you don’t get to make decisions for me! You don’t get to decide what is the easier heartbreak for me to deal with, and you don’t get to decide to abandon me in the middle of the night because you’re afraid.” 

“I’m sorry, Birdy. I wish I could take it all back, I wish I had just talked to you about it because then maybe we’d be back in the bar right now kicking Coyote and Phoenix's asses and maybe you’d have a rock on your finger and maybe we’d be telling everyone we need to get going so we can take the dog for a walk, you have no idea how badly I want all of that. I don’t know why I was scared in the first place because there is nothing that could ever be better than a life with you,” he pleaded and it sent a new wave of tears cascading down your face. You wanted all of that too, more than anything but how could you have it now? How could you take that monumental step backwards after everything that has happened in the last year? You couldn’t.

“I wanted that too, Jake, but what am I supposed to think? I hate even giving you this much credit but you ruined me. I couldn’t eat, sleep, or think straight. Rooster was the one who pulled me out, if it wasn’t for him I’d still be in that dark place so while we’re at it maybe lose some of the jealousy towards him and replace it with gratitude. I’m finally okay, finally somewhat happy again and now what? You told me you’re sorry and you wish you hadn’t done it and we’re supposed to pick up where we left off?”

“I meant what I said the night I came back, I’m under no impression you’d ever get back together with me.” he said, his features laced with pain and guilt.

“So why tell me you still want that? As if I don’t? I want nothing more than that rock on my finger and to be planning a stupid wedding with you and arguing with your nosy sisters about dresses and flower arrangements, and asking Mav to walk me down the aisle. That was my dream. You by my side on the ground and in the air, but that dream disappeared the day you did.” He took a step forward as you said this, closing the distance between you and you let him. Every fiber of your being was telling you to take a step back, telling you that tripping and falling into the waves was better than allowing his warmth to radiate throughout your body and pull you in the way it always did.

“Do you still love me?” he asked, his voice low as one of his hands caught your own and your eyes fell shut at the feeling, the first contact you’d shared since that fateful night all those months ago.

“Jake…” you whispered and his forehead rested against your own.

“Just… I know it’s unfair and wrong of me to be asking but just tell me that much.”

“It doesn’t change anything. I can’t go back and you can’t undo what you did.” You shook your head slightly and he raised his hands to cup your face.

“Do you still love me?” You didn’t trust your words, looking up into those green eyes, usually so bright and clear now stormy and filled with worry, so you just nodded, sighing and leaning into his touch as he stroked your tears away with his thumbs. “So let me fix this, let me try, Birdy, please.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jake.” 

“So what’s the harm in letting me try?” he asked and you just stared up at him. 

“Always so stubborn,” you softly laughed.

“Birdy, you’re it for me. I was an idiot and I did everything wrong, I messed up the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I know that… just, please let me try to fix this? Let me prove to you that I’m here for the long haul.” 

“I guess I can’t really stop you,” you sighed and the ghost of a smile tugged at his lips.

“I’ll take it.” He dropped his hands and moved with you as you began walking back towards the bar, somehow feeling lighter than you had in months but still plagued with the same heartbreak and uncertainty.

“This doesn’t change anything, Jake. Knowing your reason doesn’t change how I feel and it doesn’t change our dynamic,” you said as you approached the door and he just nodded as he opened it for you.

“I know, but I’m going to do my damndest to change your mind.” Walking in you ignored everyone’s curious looks and grabbed your coat and purse from behind the bar where Penny always let you stash it.

“That looked intense out there,” she commented, handing you a glass of water.

“Always is with him,” you sighed and your eyes widened as you saw Jake approaching Rooster, “oh for the love of god.” you muttered, but Penny put a hand on your shoulder to stop you from intervening.

“Just wait,” she said and you both listened in.

“Look man, I’m sorry for what I insinuated earlier, it wasn’t cool. I wasn’t in the loop on what went down when I was gone, I didn’t realize what you did for her… even if it was more than that it’s not my business. I just wanted to say thank you.”

“Didn’t do it for you.” Rooster replied and you smiled softly at the interaction before rounding the bar to approach.

“I know… I just wanted you to know I’m grateful for what you did, and uh… just get her home safe, yeah?” He brought a hand up to the back of his neck, clearly growing uncomfortable with the amount of vulnerability he’d expressed in the last half hour and Rooster just nodded.

“Always do,” he grabbed your jacket from your hands and gave you a once over, “you ready?” 

“Thanks for not hitting him,” you said as soon as you stepped back into the cool night air.

“Really wanted to, Birdy,” he sighed and you laughed.

“I know, thank you for fighting the urge.”

“What the hell happened? Because that man has literally almost killed me on several occasions and that was the first time he’s ever been that humble.” And so you told him, filled him in on every detail on the car ride over and continued as you got ready for bed, and he listened, taking in every word.

“I just, I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do with any of it. Of course I understand his reason but it doesn’t really justify the actions. If he’d disappeared for like, three days maybe but a whole year?”

“I don’t really think you’re supposed to do anything, Birdy. You said your piece and he said his, the question is do you want him to follow through on fixing it?” he asked as you settled into bed.

“I don’t know. I mean, what would that even look like?” you asked, turning on your side to look at him. “And… just go with me for a second here, if he does fix it and miraculously everything goes back to normal then what? We just get back together like it never happened? Isn’t that just a huge step backwards for me?” 

“Depends on how you look at it. If you feel he truly has changed and made up for his past mistakes then maybe it’s a step forward, do you feel like you could ever trust him again?”

“That’s the thing. No matter what he does to try and fix this I don’t know if the trust will ever be there again, he left once when things were fine, who’s to say what he would do when things get hard?”

“The fact that we’re even having this conversation in this depth leads me to believe you do want him to fix it.” he pointed out.

You sighed, “I don’t know what I want.”

“And that’s fine, you don’t need to know right now, you don’t even need to know a month from now. Just don’t let him reel you back in, not yet at least. He was right about one thing he said tonight, there is nothing that could ever be better than a life with you. If he wants it he has to earn it, and once you feel like he has then you can make a decision.” 

“Hey, when all our aviation careers are over you should look into being a relationship therapist, it suits you.” you teased and he just rolled his eyes.

“I’m only like this when I’m in bed with you, it would be highly unethical to conduct all my therapy sessions that way.” he laughed.

“Find me any straight woman that would be upset at the fact that she gets to spend an hour in bed with you.”

“Speaking of, I didn’t even ask if you wanted me to stay tonight.” he said, suddenly looking down at the way he was completely tucked into your bed and you giggled.

“I don’t even really need you to stay tonight.” you said, giving him a deadpan look before the two of you were sent into another fit of laughter. 

“I went into autopilot,” he said through his laughs before making a move to get up.

“I didn’t say you had to leave,” you said, tugging him back down and he just shook his head as he pulled you in.

“The oh-so-tough Birdy, what would people say if they knew you were just the biggest cuddle bug?”

“That is between you, me, and this bed. If you ever tell anyone I will shoot you out of the sky and you know I can.” you all but mumbled as you sank into his warmth and let sleep tug at the corners of your mind.

“Mmhm, sure.”

[chimcess]

Birdie Shoppe || pjm (I)

Pairing: Jimin x Reader Other tags: Werewolf!Jimin, Witch!Reader, Shifter!Reader, Shifter!Jimin, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha!Jimin Genre: Supernatural!AU, Werewolf!AU, Angst, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Smut, Word Count: 11k+ Synopsis: Within the four realms of Lustra lay the Bangtan forest home to the Foxglove pack of the north and known as the “land of magic.” It is also home to the Birdie, a powerful witch from a cursed bloodline who is one of the sacred guardians of the forest. Y/N is the 123rd Birdie, a young girl who was given her position too early and asked by the goddess herself to fulfil a task none had ever done before, become the Grand Witch of the Foxglove pack. Now a woman, Y/N is revered as the most loved and powerful Birdie of all time, but hiding under the surface is a woman who has to battle between her duty and her heart. Warnings: Long-hair Jimin (yes, this is a warning), Cursing, Violence, Mentions of blood, Descriptions of blood, Descriptions of gore, Main Character Near Death, Main Character Badly Injured, Slow burn romance, Talks Mating Ritual, Talks of Heats and Heat Suppressants, Did I say long-hair Jimin? (think The Witcher), Penetration, Oral (f receiving), Marking, Knotting, Spiting, Cuddling, Big Dick Jimin, Face licking, nuzzling, Soft sex, Soft Jimin, Impregnation kink, Breeding kink A/N: Hi there! So this was originally meant to be a one-shot but it was beginning to get far too long, so I’m splitting it up into parts. I’m not sure just how many there will be but so far there’s at least another part coming. This is my first time writing a/b/o so please forgive any mistakes there might be. I tried to add in lore and foreshadowing but more will come later. There’s no smut in this part, but it will come, so the warnings above are for future chapters. I decided to put them upfront for anyone who’s interested in reading further. I really hope you like it and my inbox and asks are always open.

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Another howl echoed through the forest. Just a few more minutes. I felt the familiar itch at my ankle and quickly scratched at it before beginning to pace once more. I had to make it. They said they would wait for me. They had to. I was the only person who could bless the children of the moon. It was my sworn duty to Lilith. I nibbled on my nails and checked the windows again. Pulling back the curtains, I could see the sun was almost completely gone. I began pacing once more. The others would have to meet me at the clearing.

For the last thousand years, my family had given their allegiance to the moon goddess, Lilith. Though it had started as a peace treaty for them to live in the Bangtan forest, home to the wolf pack of the Foxgrove, it had slowly evolved to what it is now. Each generation had to pick a sacrifice, a child who would replace the old, and the next member would come along when the time was right. We were called Birdie’s, the forest witch of the grove who kept the pack healthy. I was the chosen one for my family and Lilith had bestowed upon me the highest honor one could imagine.

After the grand witch of Foxgrove passed the pack had been left with no one to initiate the change within their young. It was a ceremonial occasion where they partied and danced after a long, tiring incantation process where the boys would become men. The pack was lost, and Lilith came to me. Auntie had only been dead for six months. I was 13 when she appointed me, 3 years too soon, and I had blessed the wolves every year since. It was the only time I was allowed out of my cottage as a human.

Tonight, was the celebration of Kim Taehyung’s birthday and the marking of his change. It took 18 years for a wolf to present confidently. I had a strong feeling the Kim child would be the youngest alpha in the pack. Yoongi, the kitchen witch who lived in a lifted home on the pond, thought he was a beta. However, I had far more contact with the pack than he did or any other witch in the forest. I was the only outsider permitted on pack land. I continued to pace. I could not be late.

Finally, I felt it. The thin, indestructible chain that kept me inside during my day began to chime. A faint, iridescent glow began to encase the silver and I felt a wave of pleasure flow through me. It was a cool sensation, and my ankle was caressed by an invisible hand. The chain broke and I stepped out. It stayed open and would until I made my return at dawn. I snatched my lantern off the hook beside the door, put on my pack of magical items, slipped on my shoes, and whispered a spell to make my cottage stop doing magic. It was too draining to keep the house going while I was far away, and I would need all my mana to get through the night. It was why I had decided against a summoning spell and opted for Meteor Powder.

I heard the birds in the trees talk with one another. My friend Patto, a yellow-crowned night heron, was perched on the bird bath the pack had gifted me when I was appointed. I knew he would know if I blew him off and did not want to upset my friend. I would keep it brief and then use the powder to get to the pack quickly. I missed my wings. Patto sang a little song when he noticed me approaching.

“Human tonight?” He asked, jumping.

“It’s a man’s coming of age ceremony,” I clarified, wrapping my shawl around my head.

The winter air was crisp and nipped at my ears.

“I won’t keep you then, Y/N,” Patto took flight.

He quickly came closer, nuzzled into my cheek, and flew off into the night. He was on the hunt for prey no doubt. Patto was a spunky fellow and a wonderful hunting partner though we were often after different things. He was quite good at finding my favorite bugs.

Remembering time was of the essence, I pulled out my bag of Meteor Powder. It was a chalky, lavender-colored powder that was used for teleportation. While it was less effective than an incantation or door charm, it was my best option for pack duties. I had to draw a detailed picture of where I wanted to go, something I had been working on all day in preparation along with my magic bag, and then throw the powder onto the sheet. I took out the paper with the ritual site drawn on it and placed it on the ground, took five steps back, and threw a large handful of the powder on it. Instantly, the page was light up into a bright purple flame. I said, clearly and with conviction, the name of the place I wanted to go for good measure and hopped onto the flame.

When I opened my eyes, I was in the middle of the ritual cave. I thanked Lilith for allowing my magic to work and started to set up the cave for the ceremony. Men and women were very similar as far as what candles were needed as well as the items I needed to collect on my nightly adventures, but there were key differences. This also changed once their wolf began to speak to me. Most in the pack presented beta. For this rank, the process was straightforward except for the colors of paint I had to mark them with. If they presented omega, a traditionally feminine wolf would require the witch to finely grind pearls and mix them with the paints. Male omegas needed sage to burn while I painted them. I knew that when I helped the only male omega in the last 100 years, Jeon Jungkook. Then there were alphas.

In the Foxgrove pack, there were currently 3 alphas. Kim Namjoon was the voice of the people and kept their village prosperous. Jung Hoseok was the pack member I spoke with the most. He was a kind, gentle spirit who kept up with trading and pack affairs. Picking up all the pack’s goods was a part of that. And finally, there was Park Jimin. He was the alpha I had the least amount of contact with. I knew he oversaw war and treaties as well as pack runs, but other than that he was a mystery to me. He was the prettiest pack member and the only unmated alpha left. Hoseok had told me he was shocked he had not found his mate yet. As was I, Lilith was known to be the most loving towards her alphas and often gifted them a mate. The thought put a sour taste in my mouth

I had sworn in all three of the alphas and was honored to do so even if the supplies needed for them are much harder to find. Unlike the other two, alphas not only required special paint but incantation as well. The Birdie and the pack alphas were the most connected as our spirits were the closest to the moon goddess herself. The only woman who outranked me was the Luna, Cho Sol. During the ceremony, it would begin the same, but I would know very quickly if the wolf was an alpha as we would become spiritually connected as the ceremony continued. The spell changed dramatically as I needed to ensure that the connection was severed once the change was complete. I needed to ensure my safety as a wolf can get confused and mistake me for its mate. It would be catastrophic. The paint needed to be mixed with both my blood and the blood of the alpha for the shift to complete. Alphas and omegas always fully shifted during their ceremonies.

After finishing my alter, I pricked my finger with my bone knife and began to draw a circle. A wolf was made to stand in the middle before I sealed it off with salt and peonies. It was a trap and stopped them from escaping. The old grand witch used to chain them to the rocks, but I found that to be cruel. Once I was satisfied with the circle, I knew it was time for me to paint myself. As the pack’s grand witch, I was made to follow the same customs as they did. Women were to crop their hair short if they were not human and wore specific ceremonial fabrics and colors. Sol always left a fresh bralette and skirt, the same their warrior women wore, and I slipped them on easily.

Using magic, I chopped my hair into a short pixie cut. I could grow it back tomorrow and I never wanted to disrespect the elders. Then it was time for the paints. The women who could shift all wore similar face paints, however, each family had different colors and symbols that represented their house. Similarly, I adopted my version of the face painting. My colors were blue, red, and black representing the raven, but it changed with every Birdie. I painted my entire face navy blue before fading the black color down my forehead. After drawing the thick black mask around my eyes and a long white line down my neck, I began to fill in my chain with red.

I hummed while I did this, imitating my bird calls, and swaying my body. I needed to begin the relaxation processes and think like my bird. Getting in tune with my animal side helped the ceremony move along much quicker than it had in the past. I placed ruby red and orange jewels strategically across my face. I formed Aquila over my entire face. After putting on my ceremonial jewels, I started to cleanse the cave with herbs and spells I mumbled under my breath.

I heard people approaching the cave and quickly blew out the herbs I had been burning. I had to wait for Taehyung to be sealed in the circle before I could light the candles, so I let the cave stay shrouded in darkness. None of the wolves would mind and humans were forbidden from watching the coming-of-age ceremony. It was pack law. Luna Sol was the first person to enter the cage and I kneeled on my hands and knees where I sat. I could faintly smell wolf scents since I was connected to the forest in many ways, however, they were not strong since I was not in the pack. I just knew they were wolves. I always chose to stay bowed until asked to stand. It was better this way.

More and more wolves flooded the cave polluting the air with their scent. My prey instincts wanted me to run, my hands lightly shaking from the spikes of fear that rippled through me, but I stood my ground. For Lilith, I could do anything, and nothing scared me. Not even predators. Finally, it had gone silent. It was starting now.

“Bless this child, Birdie,” I recognized the voice as Elder An.

He was a great, big white wolf when he could still shift, but now he was a small, frail-looking man with a large beard and fluffy eyebrows.

I stood slowly, careful to not make eye contact with Taehyung. He was breathing heavily with anticipation. He was going to be an alpha. I could feel it. I made quick work of sealing off the circle before finally lifting my head and lighting all the candles with a simple lift of my hand. An orange glow illuminated everyone, and Taehyung was on his knees in the circle. At the coming-of-age ceremony, the men and women were to strip naked so painting the symbols would be easier. I did not pay attention to his genitals and instead focused on his eyes. I began the chant.

Being a forest witch was one thing but being the Birdie was another. I had never met my birth parents and was raised by my grandmother’s sister who never met her family either. The gift could skip a generation or two if the spirits did not see what they were after. All of us were born with the mark, a blue jewel in our forehead that would fall out once we were appointed. That would become the chain that tied us to the cottage and stripped us of our real name. Only the birds and animals were allowed to use it as it was seen as dishonorable to refer to us as anything but Birdie. We also chanted differently than other witches. We did not speak. We sang.

Taehyung’s wolf stirred, and I knew I would know soon. I was aware of the anxiety in the room. Everyone was hopeful that he would be the fourth alpha for the pack. It would place them at the top of the hierarchy in the area. A surplus of alphas or omegas meant status in the wolf world. Even I was hopeful for his present. Then it came all at once.

The husky, woodsy scent of an alpha hit me like a truck. Though I had done this three times already it never got easier. However, Jungkook had been the last wolf I guided through the change, and the sickeningly sweet omega pheromones he admitted made Taehyung’s feel like a gentle breeze. I could hear small celebrations happening around us. The real party would be when this was over. The incantation changed flawlessly.

I grabbed the bowl of white paint I had prepared and the bone knife. Silver was strictly forbidden to enter the village under any circumstance. I continued to sing and sliced the palm of my hand and dripped my blood into the bowl. I walked over to Taehyung and bravely snatched his hand. This was why I used the circle. I was able to get his hand out of the circle and when he went to attack me, he was unable to break the seal. I sliced his hand and placed the bowl under his wound. Taehyung howled in anger. He was in too high of a state to be in pain. His wolf snarled at me, and my bird chastised him while I began to bless the paint.

I got a new paint bush and made my way back to Taehyung. I used magic to force him on all fours. It did not break my concentration. I drew the pack’s symbol on his back, two large trapezoids that ran parallel to one another, and then created the Aquila constellation on the back of his neck. I felt my hands heating up and chanted for Lilith to bless the wolf through me before touching him. Taehyung screamed in pain while his wolf growled at me. I was branding him with the symbols forever. They became black instantaneously and the ceremony was coming to an end. I removed my hands and lifted my hands to blow out the yellow candles and lit up the blue ones. I walked back to the altar and kneeled before it. Raising my arms side to side, I chanted and felt my back begin to burn. My chanting did not waver even as the black wings ripped through my back, and I was in unimaginable pain. I could not stop singing.

Two large, metallic black wings sprouted around me as blood pooled around my calf. I reached, with shaking hands, and plucked a single black feather from them. Placing it on the alter, I cupped the feather with my hands and continued to chant. It began to lift itself from the alter and spin. I moved my hands and lifted my arms straight up. The feather followed and began to glow the same way my chain did. My head felt like I was splitting in half as a blue jewel grew from my forehead and fell. I did not allow it to hit the ground and lifted it onto the altar where it joined the feather. As I said the final words of the incantation the jewel disappeared. I felt my wings start to retreat into my back and the feather floated down. Then it was over and silent.

It only took seconds before the cave erupted in cheers. I felt a tired smile tug at my lips, and I leaned onto the rock in front of me. I was exhausted but I still had one more thing I had to do before I was permitted to leave. I used the rocks to support myself and stood up before grabbing the feather. It was tradition for the wolf to keep the feather of the sacrifice. It used to be a bird that was killed at the alter but I used my own body as the sacrifice. Slowly I walked towards the circle where Taehyung lay in his wolf form. He was massive and a rust color. He was proud of himself. He had made his pack proud. I forced myself to stand up straighter and walk over completely ignoring the aching in my back and the blood that spilled from my wounds

“Kim Taehyung,” I spoke, “The goddess has blessed you with this gift.”

I kneeled and used magic to blow the salt away. I placed the feather out in front of me and Taehyung hesitantly reached forward. To be given a gift from Lilith herself was a big deal. I had been given many gifts, something that I never took for granted, and I knew this would not be Taehyung’s final gift. He was true-hearted and courageous, two traits the goddess looked upon fondly. He finally took the feather in his teeth and I smiled at him. Waving my hand, I made quick work of changing him back into a human and clothed the young man with the robes Sol had laid out beside mine. The elders would award him his alpha sash. Taehyung smiled at me, and I marveled at the innocent, boxy grin he had.

“Thank you,” He was sincere.

“Thank Lilith do not thank me,” I replied, nodding at him, and going to stand up.

“Are you staying for the ceremony?” Taehyung stood up much quicker than I could presently.

I would be lucky if I could clean the cave and go home let alone celebrate with wolves.

I shook my head, “Sadly, my time is limited, and I must be going. Congratulations Alpha Taehyung.”

I finally stood up and bowed to the alpha before using magic to make quick work of the alter and tools. Wolves, like witches, were not embarrassed by nakedness so I did not feel uncomfortable undressing. The bloody clothes stuck to me uncomfortably and I was thankful to be out of the blood-stained outfit. Unlike wolves, I got cold very easily and usually never left my cottage in the winter except for ceremonies. I used the last of my mana to change myself quickly. After calling out to Luna Sol if it was alright that I packed my candles and getting the okay, I packed those as well. I was ready to go and prepared more Meteor Powder and another drawing. This time it was of my home.

The few wolves left in the cave were the other three alphas. I paid them no mind. It was best to stay out of wolf affairs when possible. Even as a close and trusted ally, I was still an outsider and not welcome without permission. I stayed updated through the forest. I could find out everything about everyone on my trips and I enjoyed staying informed. Morla, a tortoise who lives just outside of the village, was a great source of information. She knew just about everything. I looked away from the alphas and untied my bag of powder.

“Excuse me, Birdie?” I would know Hoseok from anywhere.

I stopped what I was doing and look back at the alphas. I had all their attention. I fought with myself not to steal glances at Jimin. He was so rarely seen that it felt wrong not to. However, I had self-control and would not disrespect Hoseok. You are always required to maintain eye contact with any alpha who addresses you directly. Hoseok was smiling at me.

“Alpha Hoseok, “I greeted, bowing, “Can I help you with something?”

“Both Namjoon and Jimin have lists of potions they require.” He clarified.

Now that he brought the other alphas up, I was to meet both of their gazes and bow. I started with Namjoon since he was far more inviting. He had a mono-lid, which usually made a wolf more intimidating, but he held a gentle warmth in his gaze that calmed me.

“Alpha Namjoon,” I bowed.

I rose again and finally looked at Jimin’s. His eyes had a feline quality to them and were sharp. I knew his eyes were a warm brown in the sun but within the darkness of the cave, they were pitch black. Despite the moon being the only thing illuminating the cave his skin glowed. He was the palest member of his village, and his silver wolf matched his hair which was waist-length and perfectly straight. He, like all the other warriors, kept their hair long to show their place in society. My heart danced at the sight of him and I forced my eyes away.

“Alpha Jimin.”

Hoseok clapped.

“So,” He began again, “Here are the lists. I’m picking up the usual.”

“Would you like extra heat suppressants again? As far as I am aware your mate is still in her homeland visiting family.” I briefly glanced at the lists.

“You are all seeing,” He joked. “Yes, I will need some again this month. I have already factored that into the number written down.”

I nodded and placed the papers into my sack.

“I will need at least four days to prepare everything. I will be useless tomorrow and possibly the day after.”

“Of course, Birdie.” He replied.

Namjoon hummed and chimed in.

“Our pack is forever indebted to you and your servitude. Please rest.”

“Thank you, alpha, I will rest easy now.”

After bowing again and saying my farewells, I went back to my drawing and again got my powder. I said that I wanted to go to my cottage for extra measure again and threw the powder. I hopped into the flames and ended up across the clearing from my cottage. Groaning, I threw the powder into my bag and said a small spell to get me to my front door. I glanced at the sky and realized still had two hours of freedom and decided to use it.

Going inside, I took off my shoes and put all my ceremonial gear on the small shelf by the book. I realized I left my lantern inside of the cave and quickly penned a letter to the pack to ask Hoseok to return it upon his next pick-up. I called out to Shiloh to send the letter off. She was a barn owl who lived in the tree next to my kitchen window and had become my familiar. She delivered in exchange for treats and if I told her where mice burrows were. Normally, a nice bowl of crickets sufficed. I quickly put the kettle on before going to change into something more comfortable and wash off. This was the only time I was able to change without magic and I savored the feeling every time.

As I tugged my shirt down, the kettle began to whistle, and I made my way back to the kitchen. I took it off the flame and fetched a cup from my cupboard. It was not often that I had this much time left after a ceremony. Taehyung’s wolf did not resist me at all aside from the uncomfortable parts. That was a normal reaction, however, all three of the alphas took until dusk was just on the horizon. Lilith had allowed me to finish the ceremony, but my wings never went back in, and I felt my skin ripping open from feathers pushing their way through. That was my blessing.

All shifters had been blessed by the goddess. While to many we were seen as slaves, I knew they were the gifts bestowed upon us. The wolves were cursed to change into the beasts of the forest, sworn to protect the land from all who dared enter it, and in return, Lilith kept their village plentiful, and their people blessed. This included extended life spans. Similarly, the role of the Birdie was a sacred gift. We were hand-picked by the Goddess herself, much like a pack’s Luna, and would be at her service for all our days. In return, she gave us the gift of flight and the ability to speak with animals. Lilith kept me well fed and feared as the most powerful witch in all the realms. The cottage would be here long after I was gone and the generations after me would still be here. I would be transformed into a bird and live forever as a spirit of the forest. This was my purpose.

I placed dandelions and a large tea bag into my cup before going outside to enjoy the air. I was never allowed outside during the day. The chain kept me from leaving my small home at all. When I was a child, I could remember frolicking in the clearing and playing with the rabbits in their burrows. Those were the years I was still Y/N and the forest was my home away from home. Auntie allowed me to play more than any other Birdie had before, but she knew my love for magic was strong. I remember her telling me that I was special and that my deep connection would serve me greatly in the future. Lilith would bless me for my love. She was right. I had done something no Birdie had done in the centuries we served the forest. I had been appointed as the pack’s grand witch and allowed freedom as a human. It kept me hopeful for my future student though I was unaware of how long it would take for them to arrive.

The forest came alive at night, and I submerged myself in all its glory. The sounds of crickets chirping relaxed me and I took a deep breath. It felt nice to get all the blood and paint off my body. I realized that Hoseok and the Luna had been the only members of the pack to see me without the ceremonial gear on. No one else ever came by and the inability to wonder the forest outside of my bird form made it nearly impossible for anyone else to see my true form. This was the life of the Birdie. A quiet one filled with solitude and being one of the forest guardians. A lonely honor only the best received. I took a large gulp of tea and sighed at the warmth it provided.

A rustle in the bushes pulled me out of my thoughts. It had come from my left and I saw two large white dots glowing in the darkness. I smiled and placed my cup down. It was a wolf, probably a younger pup who was curious about me. Many of the children were and Hoseok often spoke about the wonderous ways they described me in the town. I slowly stood up and reached my hand out.

The wolf hesitated before stepping into the light. It was hard to tell its coloring in the dark but I knew it was light-colored. In its mouth was my lantern. I gasped before making my way toward the large animal. This was an older wolf, it was far too large to be a child, but it was not possible to know who it was for sure. I did not see the wolves often enough to tell them apart; they all smelled the same after the change. Its fur glowed in the moonlight.

“Thank you,” I said, taking the lantern.

The wolf touched its nose to my hand. It meant that they understood and were most welcome for the good deed. I pat its nose gently and laughed when it nuzzled further into my touch. I recognized the patch of missing fur on its side and realized that this was not the first time we had seen one another. The wolf had been injured and I healed it. They had refused to shift.

“I’m surprised they allowed you to leave during such a joyous occasion.”

The wolf looked at the grass and I laughed in disbelief.

“You snuck away, didn’t you? Bad wolf. What would your alphas think?” I joked.

The wolf made a chirp-like sound and I realized it was laughing. Shocked, my jaw dropped, and I simply stared at the wolf. This made it laugh harder, flop onto the ground, and roll onto its back.

“Alpha Jimin would be very displeased with you, pup,” I mocked, bending down to rub at the fur on its chest.

The wolf hummed in satisfaction.

“That’s not very fair of me,” I mumbled, “I hardly know the man. He’s just intimidating is all.”

The wolf was staring at me, and I snapped out of my trance. Wanting to forget about my outburst, I let another large grin take over my face and began scratching the wolf’s chest. The wolf wiggled happily, and its large tongue flapped out of its mouth. When I scratched at its ribs, its leg began to kick.

“Aren’t you the cutest thing?” I laughed. “I hope you’re feeling better now. That’s a nasty scar.”

I heard Shiloh call out to me from the tree. The sun was going to be up soon. I sighed unhappily before looking at the wolf. They seemed upset that I had stopped giving them attention. I gently scratched behind their ear and smiled softly.

“I have to go inside now,” I said.

The wolf whimpered and quickly paced its head into my lap.

“It is a part of my duty, little wolf,” I stressed.

It finally moved. Wolves knew the importance of duty. Their entire village ran off the duty of the pack, its members, and their devotion to Lilith. I gave the wolf another pat before standing up and making my way back to my cottage. The wolf followed and we walked in silence as the door was only a few yards away. The wolf stood a good six inches above me when it stood on all fours. I picked up my teacup and used magic to open my door. I put the lantern on its hook and charmed my cup to go to the sink on its own. The little thing began to hop in the air.

“It’s time for you to go, friend,” I said, placing my hands on my hips.

The wolf came close and nuzzled its large head into my chest. I rubbed its neck and scratched behind his ear. An indescribable sadness overtook me at the thought of it leaving. I felt myself tearing up and laughed at my melodramatics. This wolf was not my friend, was a stranger, and only came here to bring me my lantern in return for me saving its life all those months ago. I should not allow myself to grow fond of it or cry about it leaving. I was not that lonely, I told myself.

“Go on now,” I pushed its head away lightly. “Before the pack realizes you’re gone. Alpha Jimin begins his rounds soon.”

The wolf nosed my hand once more before running off. As I closed the door, the chain on the floor began to move towards me. I walked towards it, and it wrapped itself around my ankle once more. The cooling sensation went through my body again. I quickly did my alter ritual before heading to my room to sleep. I knew I would not be available until tomorrow and gave Shiloh the go-ahead to set my sign to closed. Sleep came easy and filled with dreams of brown eyes and fur glowing under the stars.

My shop was filled with bottles, sacks, and labels. When Hoseok said that they needed more than normal he had never said it would be this much. I was unsure if I would be able to fit much more in the room let alone if he was going to be able to carry this back to the village alone. I quickly labeled all the male heat suppressants and move on to the female ones. Omegas had their supplies just as alphas did but that would not take long to complete. There were only 4 alphas and 7 omegas in Foxglove and the colors were striking for each respective wolf. It was the painstaking process of making enough suppressants for all 187 betas for the month that made orders time-consuming. Shiloh had flown to Yoongi’s house to gather extra supplies for me as I was running low.

Namjoon needed new medicines for the children and elderly. They had finally gone through their three-month supply I had sent off many moons ago and I was having to restock their entire inventory. I enjoyed mixing medicine since it was so easy. It was what Jimin had asked for that I needed to seek help for. I wrote to Hyun-Jin, a young witch who lived with his mother in the swamps to the south. They would have the toads I needed. With Shiloh being out I relied on another friend of mine, Delinah. She was a doe who used me for protection from mountain lions.

What made Jimin’s order so difficult to complete was the fact that many of the supplies necessary to make it were not in my domain. He was looking for a healing potion that wolves could take without needing to shift, portable heat suppressants, and a camouflaging potion. The only healing potion that would work without a witch being there was one of the most difficult and time-consuming recipes a witch could make, and I had all my resources searching every nook and cranny of Bangtan. The heat suppressants would have to be in tablet form, something else that would take a while for all 15 wolves in Jimin’s party, and the camouflage was something I had never made before. For the first time in years, I was having to reference Auntie’s Grimoire and adjust it accordingly for my purposes.

Shiloh sang and I rushed to her window to take the sack of supplies Yoongi had sent back. Yoongi wrote me a letter as well to explain why some things were missing. The sea witch coven had been taking a lot of his supplies for their month of ceremonial rituals. Shiloh would have to get the rest from someone else.

“Alright girl,” I started, running my hand through my hair.

“What now?” She deadpanned.

“You need to make a trip to Seokjin’s for the remaining supplies on the list.”

“The solar witch?”

“Yes, Shiloh.”

I began preparing another sack along with a new list. Yoongi had given me plenty, but Jimin’s order was still incomplete. Delinah was due back any minute with the toads and I could begin the fifteenth, and hopefully last, trial of the camouflage potion.

“Why must you send me there?” She whined, flapping her wings in agitation.

“Because he always has a surplus of herbs and flowers and I need them to make my order for the pack,” I replied, securing the pouch around her neck.

“He’s going to demand I sun-bathe with him or better yet, he’s going to insist his bees play with me and I’ll have to deal with the most insufferable creatures in the. Or maybe the mangey mutt this time? I swear, his animals are the only ones I know who are just as pig-headed as their owner.”

“Shiloh,” I scolded, putting the letter inside the bag. “Seokjin is one of the most brilliant witches in the world and is a master at shadow work. So yes, you will go to him and play with his bees if he asks. If not, you can forget about the mice I was going to give you.”

The owl did not respond before flying away. I went back to the kitchen and started up the flame to my cauldron again. Using magic, I charmed all the potions I had completed and packaged to sort themselves and get into their bags before beginning to brew the camouflaging potion. The toads would be the last to go in this time, so I was not worried. I knew Delinah was close as the forest around me let me know. After adding only half of the amount of worm wort as I had been, the deer let herself inside through the open door and placed the jar on my countertop.

“Stir this, please,” I asked.

The doe nodded, walked over, and began to stir the wooden spoon with her teeth. I quickly put on a pair of gardening gloves and braced myself for the task to come. While there were many substitutions, for this potion, I was required to use three whole toads. I had tried to get around it with other alternatives however it had ended up not working, wearing off in seconds, or I needed to physically use a spell to make their form come back. I was hopeful that using the correct ingredient would help stabilize the recipe.

I quickly placed the frogs to sleep with a short spell and took three out of the jar. They were all fat, angry-looking things but their coloring was perfect. Hyun-Jin followed my instructions perfectly. After making a small prayer to Lilith and thanking the forest for its sacrifice, I threw the three frogs into the potion. Delinah and I traded places and I saw the potion turn grass green. I began to chant and soon enough, as was intended, the potion turned clear like water. I cheered, jumping up and down in excitement, and threw my arms around the deer beside me. She nuzzled into my neck and gave me a good lick.

“Good job, Y/N,” She said.

“Thank you, Dee,” I went to my cupboard and got out a large sack filled with cabbage heads. “I’ll have apples next time.”

Delinah happily took the sack and made her way outside. I started to bottle the potion. I knew I had gotten it right this time since it had done everything it was supposed to do in the cauldron, unlike all my other trails. I did not want to put my familiar through another potion crisis again. Shiloh loathed testing potions for me. I went to the already packaged boxes of heat suppressants and curled the ribbons with my favorite bone knife. Like many forest witches, I collected both bones and knives. During my nights I foraged and brought back things I thought were useful. My favorite thing to do was make sure my packages looked neat and professional.

Auntie did not care so much for these things but when I began to decorate boxes and bring home skulls and bones, she never stopped me. It had gotten to a point where I would sit for hours and make packaging boxes and pretty bows and stickers. However, now that I oversaw it all, I only made cardboard packing boxes lined with thin tissues of varying colors and charmed the objects to do all the work for me. I normally matched the potions within and placed a card explaining what it was for and how to use them. Then, I would toss in a magical card that would take anyone to my shop immediately in case of emergency except for the hours I was unavailable, and then it would automatically send them to Yoongi’s instead. On the outside, a stamper would stamp the box with a large bird, a brush would paint the Aquila constellation along both sides of it, and a matching-colored ribbon would wrap itself around the entire thing. However, I knew I would opt out of the decorations for Jimin’s packages. They would need to be as discreet as possible as requested but I would still place the constellation on the sides.

As I continued to place the finishing touches on all the completed orders, I heard the bell above my door ring and large, booming footsteps right after. That would be Hoseok and he had someone else here if the second pair of footsteps was anything to go by. I quickly abandoned my ribbons and dusted off my apron before going to greet the alpha.

“Good afternoon, Alpha,” I greeted, not paying much attention to him in favor of charming the camouflage potion to begin packing.

“My apologies for the orders not being ready. The things Alpha Jimin was requesting are very time-consuming and challenging to make. However, once my familiar returns with some herbs I need then it’ll all be ready to go.”

I was a whirlwind in my cottage. One second, I was curling ribbons and in another, I was writing out cards for boxes. Hoseok was used to the informal way I addressed him while in my home and I was certain whomever he brought along with him was well informed of my rudeness. I was far too busy to care if some wolf believed I was not a good host.

“I apologize for the strain I have caused you,” A sweet, melodic voice spoke up.

My body froze for a moment, as did everything else in the room before it started up again. I quickly turned to the two men and bowed deeply. My heart was racing like a hummingbird’s wings.

“I am so, deeply sorry for disrespecting you, alpha,” My voice shook. “I had not realized it was you.”

Hoseok laughed and clapped his hands together. He always enjoyed seeing me get flustered and would have a field day talking to Namjoon about this later. It seemed like Jimin was the only pack alpha who paid me little to no mind. I forced myself to look up at the man.

He was dressed casually, more casually than I had ever seen, and his silver hair was tied back into a ponytail. His small frame still towered over me and that menacing aura that always seemed to surround him was intact. Even in the daylight, Park Jimin was untouchable. And yet, a familiar longing found its way into my heart, and I knew I needed to distract myself again.

“How much longer will your owl be, Birdie?” Hoseok asked, completely unbothered.

“Excuse me for a moment,” I mumbled before closing my eyes.

All Birdies have been blessed with gifts, the first of us was the spirit responsible for selecting what the ability would be, and the Goddess making sure our powers could grow and stretch with our talents. Auntie was unable to speak with other animals aside from other owls but was gifted with such skilled defensive magic she was considered the phoenix of the north. Normally, Birdies do not need to learn defensive magic but her affinity for it made it hard for her to stop the craft and we dueled often. That is how I learned I was unable to perform any high-ranking spells since it depleted too much of my energy. However, my gift was much more in line with what I needed.

Animal scrying is the ability to see any animal’s point of view. Of course, depending on the animal the senses that they use are vastly different and it can limit my ability to see. I relaxed my entire body and slowly felt myself floating off the ground. My body was at its most fragile right now, but I trusted both men to not harm me. The same could not be said for others. Slowly, the room began to fade, and I could hear birds chirping all around me. Opening my eyes, I could see the tops of the trees and in the far-off distance was my cottage. Shiloh could not smell but her sense of hearing was impeccable. I was certain she would be here in a few moments and left her little mind by closing my eyes once more.

When I opened them, I was back on my feet and inside the cottage. Both Hoseok and Jimin were staring at me as if I had grown a third head and I stifled a laugh. Oh, I loved when that happened. Scrying was a strange gift and not many were used to seeing it.

“Shiloh will only be two minutes,” I finally replied.

“That was freaky,” Hoseok commented, walking around, and touching every single box of herbs I owned.

The cottage had not always looked the way it was. Auntie had kept it neat and organized. She never had too much or too little and kept it cozy enough for the both of us to lay by the fire together in the winter. However, not that I was alone I found it impossible to keep the same structure. Where we used to lay was now a large table with herbs and flowers of all kinds, huge crystals, and jars upon jars of specimens that were needed for potions. Beside it was the bookshelf filled with Auntie’s spell books. The rest of the Birdie Grimoires were in the cellar as there were too many to keep in the main room. My little kitchen and potion mixing station were overrun by bottles, boxes, and decorations including more magical items. My bone collection sat in a display case beside the front door and my knives hung over the mantle of the fireplace.

“And that was rude,” Jimin scolded Hoseok.

I had to force myself to keep moving as though nothing had happened. However, the ruse did not stop my body from lighting on fire at the implication. Park Jimin defending me? I was unsure how much of that I could take.

“It’s alright,” I whispered, “I left my physical being so I’m sure it looked very odd. Though I can’t say I’ve seen it myself.”

“What happened anyway?” Hoseok got to the bookshelf of grimoires, grimaced, and then went back to digging through the boxes.

“Scrying,” Jimin answered before I could.

Shiloh returned then, angrily shouting about the “stupid dog” and his “even dumber owner.” I quickly went to tend to my familiar. She looked disheveled and scowled when she saw me. The center of her face, normally a perfect cream, was caked in dirt. I gasped and rushed towards her, scooping her up in my arms just the way she liked it, and put on the most pitiful voice I could.

“Oh, darling,” I wailed, “Whatever happened to you?”

And just like any other time this happened, Shiloh dramatically went limp in my arms and closed her eyes in mock fatigue. She was on fire with anger and wanted to rip out the eyes of whoever harmed her. For me, though, she was just trying to get extra mice.

“The witch, Jean-” She began.

“Jin,” I corrected, softly.

“Jin. Oh, that monster!” She placed her wing across her forehead. “He let his godforsaken, loudmouth, drooling like a bumbling idiot mutt out on me!”

“Max?” I gasped, placing a hand over my heart.

“Indeed,” She cried, “He told him to play with me while he got your things ready, and the dog decided to use me as a toy!”

“Oh, Shiloh, I am so very sorry,” I faked, bringing her closer to me.

“The horror! The shame!”

I took the pouch off her neck and placed it on the counter before carrying her into my bedroom. The owl continued her fake crying all the way there. I had to give it to her, she was an excellent actress. However, she was also an owl and my familiar so running off to the theatre was not an option she had.

“And then the bees, I was forced into a position to ask them for them. Me! Shiloh, the Birdie’s one and only familiar, asking those mongrels for help. Never send me back there again, Y/N I beg of you!”

I rolled my eyes and helped her squeeze her way into the small opening of her nesting box. While she usually slept in her large, cone-shaped nest outside, when she stayed awake during the day to help me, I allowed her to sleep in my room. I had built it as a child. I gathered the wood and my auntie helped with cutting, screwing, and dangerous things that a four-year-old could not do herself. It was a nice size, 4x4, and solid wood with a hole large enough for her to squeeze through in the upper right-hand corner. The inside was filled with dirt and sticks just as the owl liked as well as a stuffed animal, I had given her when we became connected. I heard the owl sigh and she rushed to the dark side of the nest.

Chuckling, I went back into the kitchen and called out to Delinah from the window. She was still eating the cabbage I had given her. The fawn looked at me.

“Whenever you’re finished would you mind asking Irene, she’s one of the sea witches, if she could spare a vole or two? Shiloh is being dramatic again.”

Delinah laughed. All animals do it but not many are easily detected. I had known the deer since she was a small fawn, so I knew the sounds from anywhere. Behind me, I heard Hoseok’s loud footsteps and remembered who I had in my house.

“Of course,” She responded.

“Great!”

I quickly spun back around and began to fix my hair. I had yet to grow it back, but the nervous tick was still in full force. Hoseok was still looking around completely unbothered while Jimin was rooted in the same spot he had been in since coming inside. I was worried had angered him with my antics. While Hoseok was both used to and fond of the shenanigans that went on in my home the other alpha was not. He was known to be quick-tempered and easily annoyed by any sort of nonsense, but his stoic expression gave nothing away. I twirled a strand around my finger.

“Sorry, again,” I awkwardly laughed. “My familiar is a bit of a drama queen.”

“How is Shiloh?” Hoseok wondered, finally breaking himself away from the hundreds of items around him.

I returned to the counter and started pulling out the items Jin had spared me. Just as I thought, there was what I had asked for and more within the back including a note.

Birdie, How splendid of you to drop by. Of course, I am aware that Shiloh had come in your absence, but I will be expecting you over tonight in return. I’ll brew your favorite tea. I’ll have the ingredients below but feel free to write any revisions you may find. I have packed everything you asked for: 2 sunflower stems 12 sunflower seeds 3 baby’s breath bundles A small comb of honey 10 sprigs of vervain I have also added some other goodies in return for all of the wonderful gardening tools you made me this year. I know you use a lot of mint and sage so expect plenty of it. I’ve also started to grow lavender to balance out the sea coven’s needs for Yoongi. Tea: 2-3 cups honeysuckle flowers (whole) 2 cups water Wild honey to taste Much love, Seokjin

I quickly put my cauldron on the flame and began to write back the witch. Unlike Yoongi, Jin was a great pen pal and wonder to have tea with. He, like myself, could speak with animals so we were able to talk while I was a bird. However, he was usually asleep when the sun went down as it was his prime energy source. Without the sun, Jin was just a man.

Jin, Thank you very much for the supplies. The mint is lovely and so glad to hear about the lavender. Remember full-sun and well-drained soil are best for it. If you need any other pointers Yoongi would be the better man to ask. Everything I know from him and my inability to go out in the sun does not bode well for my gardening career. Also, neutral to alkaline soil. I’m positive they will be lovely. You’re too kind to me. The tools were a gift for being such a wonderful person and a greater friend to me over the years. Pass my thanks on to Max. Shiloh came home with her dramatics again. Haven’t I told you to stop picking on her? The dog aspect already bothers her, and the bees, but cuddling is far from her preferred activity. Tea sounds lovely but I prefer the honeysuckle crushed. May Lilith bring you joy, Birdie

“As dramatic as always,” I finally responded, folding the paper, and stamping it with a wax seal. “Auferetur,” I commanded, and the paper incinerated into a fire and was gone.

“Sometimes I forget she’s not a person,” He joked, coming to the counter to watch me work.

The alpha enjoyed seeing the process of potion making even if he did not pay much attention to the details. I used to attempt to explain what I was doing until I realized he just thought the cauldron was cool. I used to be the same when as a child, but things change very quickly in this life.

“Well, she’s technically a spirit, but yes she is an owl,” I threw in the vervain sprigs.

Tablet heat suppressants were difficult to make due to timing. As soon as they were done, they were to be taken off the heat and placed into mold immediately. They solidified within 3 minutes and were ready to go in 10 once the moisture was gone.  Next was the baby’s breath.

“Is everything in your world a spirit?” Hoseok cocked an eyebrow.

“Hyung,” Jimin warned.

He did it again. Of course, I did not need Jimin to save me from the other alpha. They were both at my mercy while inside and it was impossible to imagine Hoseok ever attempting to harm me. He reminded me more of Max than any wolf and his heart-shaped smile and dimples only added to his puppy-like nature. Still, I was touched by the gesture. I was reminded of the poor way I had spoken of him last night and felt ashamed of myself. I did hardly know the silver-haired man.

“Just about,” I used my magic to make the molds appear on the counter and enchanted them to line up in a single file line all around the cottage.

“Isn’t it hard to do all of that at once?”

“Hoseok,” I slipped, forgetting my manners, “I’m the Birdie. Do you truly believe that little of me?”

“Well, no,” He laughed, “I’ve just never seen any other witch do it before.”

“Do you see other witches often?” I enjoyed the small talk.

He was wonderful at it. Jung Hoseok was a master charmer and one of the politest gentlemen in Lustra. His mate, a woman I did not know very well and only saw in passing, was a beta. It was a rarity for any alpha to mate with any other preset besides omega, however, they had grown up together and fell in love young. Their wolves had always gravitated toward one another, but the feelings were not known until after they had both gone through the change. I was proud to have been the one to bring them together and help them through the bonding process thereafter. She would have come to help Hoseok today, but I knew she was taking care of her ill mother back in her hometown Viridi Gramine. They both were kind and Hoseok was a joy to have around.

“Only the grumpy man who lives close to the pond.” I snorted.

“Yoongi the kitchen witch?” I confirmed, amused.

Min Yoongi was another close friend of mine. While not as personable as Seokjin or the sea witch coven, he was reliable and ready to help at the drop of a dime. Of course, he complained more than anyone else I knew and loathed uninvited guests, but I knew it was because he had not had proper time to make them a meal. He became reserved so he would not let on how much he enjoyed company since it was so rare on his edge of the forest. It made me happy to know that Hoseok’s visits were not limited to me and the kitchen witch would feed off his great energy.

“He’s a kitchen witch? Could’ve fooled me.”

“He’s unorthodox, that’s for sure,” The potion was finally complete, and I quickly began lifting portions and filling the molds. “However, he is not a very sought-after host so he can be clueless about manners or formalities. I’m afraid you’ll have to pardon him on my behalf.”

The molds would fly off and onto the counter once I filled them. The entire house smelled of vervain and I knew I would never hear the end of it. Shiloh was very particular, but I had grown used to her babbling. She hardly ever listened to any of my warnings until I reminded her that her reincarnation as a moral relied on her being a good familiar. And yet, she would always find a way to make my life harder. Still, I could not deny that the owl was my best friend. Or that I would be devastated if she did not get her to wish granted. I wanted more than anything for her to become the beautiful blonde she had always dreamed of. Even if she liked to fly in like a bat out of hell and moan about bees attempting to make friends with her.

“What makes him a kitchen witch?” It was Jimin who asked the question this time.

It was a common question for non-magical people. While I would never consider a pack member a mortal, I knew better than to lump them in with us. Guardians but all of their mysticism came from their shifting abilities, and since most wolves thought that they were untouchable, they never did learn about magic regarding others. Witches, however, were expected to know everything there was to know about it. At least, that was my job.

“Well, all witches have the same base knowledge, but we can also have specialties,” I explained.

“And his is cooking?” Jimin’s eyebrows knitted together.

I shook my head.

“Something like that. It’s how he goes about cooking. Yoongi keeps a small altar in his kitchen, cooks with special herbs, and even stirs his food in a particular way depending on the magic he is attempting to pull from it. He keeps a special cookbook that is completely different from his book of shadows. There’s a fine art to kitchen witchery.”

Jimin hummed in acknowledgment This was the longest we had ever spoken, and I found it much easier when I did not have to look at him. I could not remember when these feelings began but it had to have been years ago at this point. I could recall the warmth surrounding me during his presenting ceremony and how his wolf went frantic to get close to me. Of course, that was normal, and I paid it no mind, but I still allowed myself to wonder. My infatuation has only grown since then, a fact he had to be aware of, and I was grateful he never commented on it. Even the custos of Bangtan was a gentleman. Another wave of shame overcame me.

“What kind of witch are you?”

“I’m a Lunar witch,” I replied curtly, making sure to keep my eyes away from Jimin.

“Can you explain that one as well?”

Once all the molds were filled and, on the counter, I made a large gust of wind come inside to speed up the curing process. While I may be enjoying this, I knew they were busy men and I had already taken a large portion of their day. Hoseok, I knew would not care but Jimin had important duties to always attend to.

“Well,” I started, “Lunar witchcraft is just the opposite of solar. We get our power from the moon, prey to it, and perform all our rituals and ceremonies based on the phases. I’m strongest during the night which is why I’m able to help with the shifts the same way your grand witch had.”

“Are all Birdies moon witches?” It was Hoseok who asked.

While I was pleasantly surprised he had been listening, I did not let it show. He would most likely close his ears the second he grew bored.

“No, usually they’re forest or green witches. I’m the first lunar witch.”

“Why?” Jimin asked.

Just as I had thought, Hoseok was back to touching things and wondering out loud. I never minded. He was unusually quiet today and I guessed that Jimin had something to do with that. He always said the younger man was far too serious and concerned about unimportant things. However, now talking to him, I found that hard to believe. If he were so strict, he would have demanded I move quickly and would not be asking me pointless questions about the magic he would never have to worry about.

“After the previous Birdie’s death, things were strange for me for a time. I was not ready and began to prey tirelessly for Lilith to bring her back. Once I began to do moon ceremonies in her honor is when she approached me to become a grand witch and to be a true grand witch I had to convert to lunar witchery. It’s not that complicated.”

The suppressants were set and powdery. For good luck, I took one out of its mold and smashed it between my fingers. The tablet gave away quickly and turned to sand. I checked the color of my fingertips. If I was successful, the tips would be clean. If something had gone wrong, it would be stained purple as it would be impossible for it to dry properly. They were clean and I began to package the tablets.

The enchanted items made quick work of the boxing and I took my time to write the note card. Since these suppressants worked differently than the liquid version I needed to be highly detailed in my instructions. Unlike liquid suppressants that acted immediately and for long hours, the tablets had to be taken two days in advance every four hours. Once the heat was on, the blood should have enough of the medicine in it to be able to take them twice a day without any worries. Even if I had made them before the young wolves always found a way to mess the schedule up.

“Alpha Jimin,” I called out feeling uncomfortable.

“Yes?”

“I made plenty just in case,” I shuffled back and forth, “But Luna informed me that all alphas who are unmated get an omega of their choosing to spend their heat with.”

A lull happened and I felt my breath picking up. My blinking became far more rapid, and I knew I was sending out waves of anxiety. As a shifter, I had my scent though I was nose blind to it, and no one had ever commented on it besides my auntie. She had said it was like vanilla and lavender, but that was long ago. I could only imagine the signals I was sending out to the two men and when Hoseok froze up, I unintentionally sent out a huge gush of my scent.

Jimin’s eyes were almost black when I looked up at him and it sent terror through me. The prey within me trembled and it caused the shaking to overcome me as well. I shrank away from him, my fight or flight response on high alert, and I knew Shiloh would wake up soon if I did not calm down. I became smaller, closing in on myself, and pulling my head back. My hearing was sharper and the colors around me began to warp. Instead of seeing 3 colors, my vision changed, and the UV waves became visible to me. Jimin flinched and in my current state, I began to shake my neck and a loud, menacing hiss came out of my throat.

That snapped me out of my panic. I had never done that before, and it seemed to have frightened the two men. When I looked this time, Jimin’s eyes were normal. I collected myself before relaxing. The waves were gone, and my ears stopped ringing. Neither one of the werewolves made a move.

“I’m out of it today,” I finally said, breathless.

“Are you alright?” Hoseok asked, his face showing his concern.

I nodded and took another deep breath.

“Anxiety is not good for a prey animal,” I explained.

“I’m sorry I frightened you,” Jimin spoke, and I turned my attention to him.

I nodded and closed my eyes. In the other room, I heard Shiloh asking if I was alright. I quickly let her know that I was fine. I had not had a response that violent in a long time. His eyes… Fear shot through me once more, but I forced myself to calm down. This was Jimin, not the black wolf from my nightmares. Another deep breath.

“No, no,” I slurred my speech. I was so tired. “Your eyes...”

I faintly hear Delinah come inside but I felt like I was underwater. Everything became hazy and my knees buckled. I hit the ground, but I hardly felt the impact. My breath slowed and the voices in the room were far away. Shiloh’s voice began to fill the room, but no one could understand her. Briefly, I felt a warmth envelop my hand and I moved closer to it. I felt cold, so cold, and soon was unable to move. The warmth spread to my face, and I let out a breath at the contact. My eyes closed and even though the voice beside me asked me not to, I fell asleep.

© chimcess, 2022. Do not copy or repost without permission

[tinydappledleaf]

Title: Stay

Chapter: 5/6

Pairing: Ezra x f!Reader, Ezra x you (Reader is addressed by 'you' or nickname)

Rating: 18+, smut in chapter 6

Content: Situationship to romance, soft Ezra, intimacy, loss of limb (non-explicit), canon compliant

Summary: When you've almost given up waiting for him, a certain prospector returns to the Pug to call in a favor...

Ao3: complete fic

《 chaper 4 chapter 6 》

Chapter V

You won’t say it out loud, never are one to boast, but as the last screw seals the sleek outer case of Ezra's prosthesis seamlessly you feel awfully satisfied.

So is Cee, as she throws open the entrance door with a huge smile, a somewhat breathless Ezra in tow.

“I did it!” She exclaims and you nearly drop the whole arm in fright at the abrupt intrusion to your quiet moment. Gingerly disposing of it on your desktop, safe, you turn to face her. By now Cee stands amid the room, openly overjoyed with something you have not yet grasped, while Ezra drops onto the couch to catch his breath. The brisk walk home draws a cough from his battered lungs, but it doesn’t diminish the joy that twists the corners of his mouth upwards in a smirk.

Arm lazily thrown across the back of the couch, his grin rivals Cee's, despite the remaining rattle of each drawn breath. There’s something about his expression, that makes your heart skip a beat. A parental sort of proudness, revelling in his fosterling’s achievement. And Cee wastes no tick to let you in on what exactly the ruckus is about.

“I made it into the academy! They picked me for a scholarship for two whole seasons!”

“Never expected anything else, Birdie,” praises Ezra and winks at you from behind her back.

It doesn’t take more to infect you with their mutual excitement and you jump from your spot to spread your arms wide and envelop her in a big hug.

“Congratulations!” you cheer as you retreat a step, still trying to make heads or tails of the sudden but stunning information.

“How? I mean- They just do that? Give out scholarships?”

Puggart Bench’s academic complex is careful to pick they best they get. It might have nothing on all the luxuries the Ephrate offers, but education around here isn’t low-cost either. Most youths around do not receive any education whatsoever, learn solely what’s necessary to survive out in the Frontiers. Your own education consist merely of your own experience and whatever you'd picked up from the mechanics' proficieny when you'd helped out in repairshops as a teen.

But Cee is different. She deserves to thrive.

You know the academy does not throw out scholarships at random. They're sponsored by the Pug's big fish, seeking to pilfer the pool of graduates for the most promising alumni. The entry exams are tough, focused on fluid intelligence rather than factual knowledge, the base for quick and efficient tuition.

Her receiving scholarship means she has proven herself to the academy's Argus-eyed examiners.

But, even though you're very aware, you want the spotlight on her, want her to tell you herself about her success.

Eagerly she shakes her head 'no' to your question and fishes a signed letter from her bag. It’s a bit crooked and folded askew, but it is her proof. Her acquired treasure.

“I took a test, a few cycles ago, when I was out with Ez,” she hurriedly explains. The nickname makes you smile even wider. Tiny proof of the trust she's gained towards him and vice versa.

“I didn’t even think I could make it, that’s why I didn’t tell you, but they said I was in! I’m a bit late, so I need to catch up on a few things, but I can start as soon as I’ve packed my stuff!”

You take the letter she holds out to you and briefly study the summary of her result and, Kevva, are you impressed. You knew she was smart, never doubted her success from the tick she set foot into your life, but this is damn remarkable. And it grants her entrance to a life never available to most forlorn fringeborn kids.

“So, I take it you’re gonna leave soon?”

You hand the letter back to her and she nods fervently, as she shoves it into her satchel.

“Tomorrow morning,” she confirms and it makes you grow immediately wistful. Cee can be a handful, like each youth and some, but through cycles spent under one roof and around the same 'table', you’ve come to care more about her than you had initially expected. She reminds you of your kid sister, fierce and sharp, but just as kind, and never ever capitulating to whatever life throws at her feet. She’ll get far. And you dearly hope, you’ll be allowed to witness it.

“I guess I’m gonna go and... well, pack my stuff now,” says Cee, as the adrenalin of her glee slowly dwindles to a steady nervous bubble. Thumbing in your bedroom’s direction, she takes a few steps towards it. “Thank you… for letting me stay.”

You brush it off with a flick of your hand.

“You’re always welcome to visit.”

Which she will, you hope, on the occasional break of her studies.

Nodding gratefully, she retreats into what has become her room and you already feel the pull of her absence.

Settling one hand on your hip, you watch the door close until a soft clap prompts you to turn.

Ezra pats the cushion beside him and you gladly accept his invitation. You flop down and melt into his side until your cheek rests on his shoulder.

“You’re gonna miss her so dreadfully,” you mutter and Ezra gives a noncommittal hum. But you can feel the sigh he breathes in the rustle of your hair, the way he deflates beside you as he drops his head onto the backrest.

Closing your eyes, you enjoy the silence, the solidness of his body against your own. Just for a second, you'll allow yourself to enjoy his presence.

Until you remember your own little surprise.

Well, not much of a surprise since he's almost constantly been lurking around your space. But he does not yet know that you're finished.

Ezra grumbles as you sit up a little straighter, but doesn’t complain as you flip yourself over to face him. Both legs pulled up beneath yourself and tucked into tailor-fashion, you grin at him.

“I got somehting for you as well.”

“You do?” He quips and tilts his head to eye you, tired but smirking. You realize he's probably already noticed when you'd nearly dropped the prosthetic arm as Cee breezed in. Nonetheless you’re not inclined to cancel the revelation of your hard work.

Untangling your legs, you get up and retrieve the finished piece from your workbench. There’s no need for fancy wrapping or a box. He’s curiously observed you working on it for cycles on end. Seeing the finished thing is different, however, and it shows on his face.

Emotions flitter across his features as you settle back beside him like before, the prosthetic arm now displayed on your lap for him to see. There’s gratitude in his smile, wistfulness in the knitting of his brow and a hint of caution in the way his fingers gently trace its sturdy frame. You’ve built it to last and aid him in whatever future challenges life is about to set on his trail. Soft rubber fingertips and palm allow gentleness as much as a secure grip and, if he chooses to, a rudimentary sense of touch.

You watch him patiently as he places his flat hand against the one you created, each finger lining up against its artificial counterpart to near perfection. The sight mists your eyes and you need to blink a few times to clear your vision as Ezra speaks.

“You’ve outdone yourself, Patches," he starts haltingly. He looks almost torn. Unprepared to flip open this new chapter of his future and yet thrilled to.

"I couldn't possibly clothe my gratitude for this in words and I vow that I'll do my damnest to provide some compensation-"

He falls utterly silent as your hands raise to gently grasp his jaw and raise his head to face you. You feel him swallow harshly as you lean in, eyes closed, and touch your forehead to his, mute and soft, but all the same conveying that its okay. That he doesn't need to compensate for anything.

Its a bold move, but you can't help it. Cee's departure is a mere cycle away and if you aren't completely mistaken, he won't stick around much longer. Even with her scholarship, two seasons from now he'll have to fork out a hefty sum if he wants her to continue. And he does, you're certain of that.

He won't spent his time dawdling about with you if there's still a fortune to make, somewhere out there.

Ezra's your alley cat, after all.

He might return and stay a bit if you feed him. But other than that, he does whatever tickles his fancy.

Its nice, though, somehow. His skittish visits, the little feline presents he keeps dropping on your figurative doormat. A pretty rock. A beautiful flower. Or a forlorn little birdie.

But if he disappears on you again...

If he disappears on you again, you need him to know that you'll be waiting. That you'll patch him up each and every time he drags himself home to you.

"Promise me one thing?"

He hums his question, prompting you to go on, as you scooch closer and wrap your arms around his neck. Nose buried against his shoulder, you fumble for words that suddenly feel inappropriate. No strings attached, you remind yourself. As much as you yearn for one to tug on gently, signal him that you need him, wait for him to do the same.

"Nevermind," you mumble, but his low chuckle tells you he's long caught on anyway. His arm pulls you closer as he mirrors your affection and he's warm and close and its all so fucking unfair.

"I hereby vow," he begins solemnly and murmurs his promise right into your ear, "that I'll take more caution on any future endeavor. You hear me, Patches? I'll be careful and I'll be back home before you even notice me gone."

The latter is a blunt lie. As if his absence could ever go unnoticed. Nothing rings louder than the silence he leaves. Nonetheless, you grasp the sentiment. No detours, no gratuitous risk. Only then you fully comprehend his words.

Home. He considers this, you, home.

Ezra, wanderlust personified, the incorrigible scoundrel scouring the Frontiers for riches, thinks of you as his home. You've been his friend, his safe haven. But never before home. It constricts your throat, makes you curl into him. You've let yourself feel too much, as of late. You'll regret it when he sets out again, but at this moment, yu can't help it.

"Thank you," you mutter and sense him smile against your skin, his returning stubble a pleasant prickle.

Reluctantly you let go of him, slowly resume your initial position and rub the treacherous moisture from your eyes. If he does observe it, he doesn't comment on the brief crumble of your resilient facade.

"So," You clear your throat and he listens, patiently, "You wanna try it?"

"Why, yes." He says with such severity, it lures something between a chortle and a sniffle from you as he pulls his shirt over his head and discards it haphazardly somewhere on the couch behind.

"Ain't gonna let that work of yours go to waste. Show me what it's got."

Refusing to let yourself be distracted by his bareness, again, you slip into professionalism and carefully inspect his stump before you proceed. He shivers under your gentle touch, but keeps his mouth shut for once while you evaluate what you see. You've checked his wounds on a regular basis, satisfied with watching him heal under your care. The stitches in his abdomen have dissolved enough by now to be nearly gone and the remainder of his arm is free of infection, the laceration fully closed.

"If gets too uncomfortable or hurts, tell me right away," you instruct him.

"The area is most likely still tender, even though its healed pretty well. You're sure lucky Cee did manage such a clean cut, otherwise this might have gotten really ugly for you."

From the corner of your eye you see him pull a face that tells you its been nasty enough as is and you feel for him. But its the truth and you know he's truly more than grateful for her help, for granting him the chance to live and escape the purgatory that is the Green. Glum memories are swiftly wiped away when his attention shifts back to your doing.

Step by step you show him the process of attaching his artificial limb, patiently help him to adjust the gapped liner to ensure all electrodes sit in proper contact to his skin. It takes time and some frustration on his side until his stump sits snugly inside his brand-new limb. When it does, he watches almost reverently as you show him how to safely seal it through the press of a button. A quiet hiss of the remaining air being expelled securely attaches the artificial appendage to his remaining arm.

"All good? Nothing pinches?"

"Nope," he says, eyes still glued to his arm. "Snug as a bug in a rug."

Shaking your head at his antics, you inch a bit back to allow him some space.

"Go ahead, try it."

Your gentle encouragement relieves his momentary rigor and you observe him lift his arm from his lap, still held horizontal and otherwise unmoving. He halts, concentrated. Testing its weight maybe? You aim to keep it realistic, not too light, not too heavy. Still, it differs from what he's experienced ever since loosing the arm he was born with. You've often heard that it feels foreign or unpleasant, even. It takes some getting used to.

Before you can say anything, however, he seems to have arranged himself with it for the time being and your smile widens as he slowly unbends it at the elbow, then twists the wrist to point its palm downwards. Fingers jerkily curl, form a fist and uncurl with a little more grace.

A few practicing repeats of the motion smooth out the initial stutter.

You hear his held breath rush out in a soundless, incredulous laugh when he touches the rubbery pads of his fingers against his thumb, visibly stunned that he feels it. Its by far not like the real thing - more a general feedback of touch that grows with rising pressure. But its something. And suddenly its him who blinks back the mist in his eyes and it makes you want to hold him all over again.

The sound of your name interrupts your thoughts, albeit registers a little belated for the reason that it is your actual name instead of his beloved moniker for you.

You tear your eyes away from his arm to face him.

And two simple words, rough around the edges with raw emotion, carry more meaning than all of his impressive vocabulary ever could.

"Thank you."

[jaybird-redhood]

chapter one ☆ a mutual hatred of sorts

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Jason Todd is a dick, and that’s putting it nicely.

See the thing is it’s impossible not to fall into the Wayne orbit when you’ve gotten as close as you have. They have a way of just pulling you in and not letting go.

In your case a chemistry project, knack for Mario Kart, and apartment perfectly placed in the middle of a certain red and yellow moron’s patrol route led to your spot in the bat’s clan. (And the subsequent need to clear out your closet for the obscene amount of first aid supplies that kept showing up in odd places.)

So, an accidental acquisition of the secret identity of one birdy (which really wasn’t Tim’s fault, sleep deprivation and a worried friend work wonders for uncovering secrets), led to the identities of all the bats, and soon you have the honor of getting fitted with top-of-the-line security in your apartment courtesy of Mr. Batman himself.

However, with the introduction of some of the bats came the introduction of all of them.

Including Jason.

A literal piece of shit.

“You know, he’s actually not that bad when you get to know him,” says Tim, head on the arm of your sofa.

“Yeah, one time I thought he was going to punch me,” Steph chimes in, “but then he like swerved at the last minute and knocked out the dude behind me.”

An almost comical look of contemplation crosses over her face before you can see an even more comical frown.

“He did let me get stabbed by that other dude though,” she says.

“So what, he feels complete indifference? Like that’s really any better?” you ask them. “He’s an asshole to you guys and you let him be because of nostalgia or some shit.”

“He’s actually pretty nice I swear you just have to give him a chance to prove it to you.”

You sit up from where your head was on Steph’s lap to glare at Tim.

“He broke into my apartment last week at like 6 in the morning to steal my last donut that I was saving and flipped me off when I nearly had a heart attack and threw a book at him.”

“His nearest safehouse is like half an hour away and he has 8am classes in the opposite direction on Wednesdays,” Tim tries to justify.

“And to be fair,” Steph throws in, “flipping you off may have been because of the book not because of the throwing.”

“Yeah, if had been like a lamp or something you probably would’ve been in the clear.”

“Ok fine,” you say, “what about the time that you twisted your ankle and he filmed you hobbling back to my apartment in pain instead of helping you.”

Tim rolls his eyes at you.

“It was a twisted ankle! That’s not even that bad I was fine.”

You give him your best glare, though your view is slightly obscured thanks to Steph’s arm on your face.

It seems to pay off though when Tim whines, “Shut up I really was!”

Steph snorts at that comment.

“You texted me saying you were dying.”

“Seriously Timmy? God you’re dramatic,” you chide. “That’s not even the point though, he sent me the video he took of it happening the next day with the caption- and I quote- ‘lol’”

You can hear a chuckle from his end of the couch.

“No! Not funny! He let you suffer and then laughed about it!” you groan, throwing the pillow next to you at him.

“That was the same week that you came to the manor and took the bookmark out of the book he was reading,” Steph points out.

You sit up to face her, blurting, “That was a minor inconvenience at best, and that was revenge for the-”

“And the day after you stole the bookmark you got a hold of his laptop and renamed all his case files to romcom movie titles,” Tim cuts you off.

This time you smack him, and he has the decency to not look offended as he rubs his arm.

“Only because the night before he came into my place and doused my couch in blood!” you shout, arms flailing. “When I woke up I thought someone had been murdered in there! You try cleaning that much blood out of green linen!”

Steph starts stroking your hair, and as patronizing as it is you can’t help but lean slightly into it.

Stupid comforting best friend.

“You know what,” she says, “you’re right. Jason is such an awful person and you’ve been through so much you poor, poor, thing.”

“Shut up with the fucking baby voice I’m too old for this shit,” you moan, slinking down onto the cool floor.

Steph lets out an offended squeal.

“You’re not even that much older than us!”

Tim follows that up with a cough that sounds suspiciously like, “mentally two years younger.”

You take that as your cue, getting up from off the floor to walk to your door and open it.

“All right that’s it out of my apartment jerks,” you say, before being hit with a brutal chorus of ‘we-haven’t-finished-the-movie-yets’.

You’ve learned by now to ignore them, but the way Tim is looking at you like you’ve just murdered his dog is making it hard.

“You’re rich enough that you don’t need to watch it on my Netflix account,” you protest, “go buy the film studio or some shit.”

They stop whining, but with the silence comes a barrage of puppy-dog eyes on Steph’s part.

You sigh, looking up at the ceiling for a considerable moment before pointing at the door. They both begrudgingly stand and pick up their bags, dragging their feet towards the door.

“Highly trained vigilantes my ass,” you say under your breath.

When they are both standing outside your apartment you feel a touch worse about kicking them out.

“You guys know I love hanging out with you,” you say apologetically.

They both frown.

“I have an essay to write that will not get written with the both of you here.”

Then Tim smiles?

He steps back in and says, “What I’m hearing is that one of us can stay! Bye Steph!” and with an unapologetic grin shuts the door in Steph’s face.

You glower at him, opening the door back up again, pushing him out with “Bye Tim”, and closing the door in his face this time.

“I hate you,” comes a muffled shout.

“Hate you more,” you reply.

You stand head against the door until you can no longer hear them clamoring down the stairs.

One last deep breath, you think, before trying to deal with your paper.

When you turn around your eyes widen. You barely have time to register the vaguely familiar figure before your instincts kick in.

And you punch him directly in the face.

Shit.

“Jesus you fuckhead!” Jason yelps, holding his face in one of his hands. “Your first reaction is to nail me in the jaw instead of, I don’t know, screaming or some normal shit!”

A quick once over determines he isn’t injured enough to warrant a scolding from Tim if you’re a little mean. Just a few knife wounds that look pretty shallow.

“Just be glad it was your pretty little jaw,” you smile sweetly. “It’ll be your dick next time you sneaky little bastard.”

He drops his hand from its place on his jaw, pacing scarily close to your couch, and only taking a few steps back towards the kitchen table when you make eye contact.

“You think I’m pretty?” he asks coyly, turning around to face you.

Even a silent reminder to breathe can’t stop you from cursing at him under your breath.

“Of course that’s what you take away from this conversation,” you snark, “not the direct threat.”

“I’m too pretty for threats,” he quips with the worse grin you’ve ever seen.

You scowl at him, picking your laptop off the table and bringing it to the couch to get comfortable.

“The med supplies are where they always are,” you tell him flatly. “Tim brought more by a week ago. Take what you need and leave.”

He flashes you a mock salute and spins around.

“If I see any blood anywhere other than the trashcan,” you shout to him, “I will not hesitate to make that threat reality.”

“I am going to fucking kill you,” he shouts back.

Unfortunately for you armor and several guns strapped to a body readily increases one’s intimidation factor.

You listen for a while at the rustling of fabric and crinkling of sterile bandage wrappers.

It isn’t until you hear his boots clanking and the metallic sound of a grappling hook that you realize he’s on the ledge of your window about to leave.

He’s not wearing his helmet, just a domino, his torso wrapped in white.

Your gaze catches his eyes.

You’re surprised to find them on you.

Tilting your head to the side, you give him a forced smile, and blow a mock kiss at him.

He grimaces immediately, mirrors your fake little smile and catches your kiss, flipping you off in the process.

‘Asshole,’ you think, and watch him swing out your window before opening your file back up.

☆ next chapter ☆

[prpfs]

hi ! 🩷 my name is birdy and i'm 21 + they/them !! i'm currently looking for a casual descriptive rp for a couple fandoms (on discord [oc x canon doubles and oc x oc]). i range from a semi descriptive to very (i don't know what newer terms mean because i. am a little out of touch with the broader rpc). i also tend to give replies once or twice a week depending on motivation and how work is going. i do often need to take breaks and have some memory issues </3. i did also lose my job a while back and . have not been doing so well but i am trying to be more active!

most of this is copy and pasted so if some stuff doesn't line up. well ‼️

but, all those warnings aside, i have been writing for almost ten years now and love to plot and chat ooc !! i love making moodboards and playlists and using pinterest !! i love getting mutually excited about each other's ocs and when i'm doing well i love to create things that add to the universe! i have no real hard limits (+ i love dark content) and i am willing to write most characters unless i feel i really cannot do them justice. if i accidentally did not respond to your last like or have ghosted you feel free to poke me or send me a reminder text !! i got a little overwhelmed a while back so i am sifting through things.

-stranger things (mike wheeler x my oc for my side, would love to play hopper, billy, alexei, joyce, nancy, will, or jonathan)

-original (i said fandoms but i would love some small town horror or southern gothic! 2000s youtube type horror as well)

-the ballad of songbirds and snakes (would love love to play sej or lucy gray)

-the boys (jordan li x my oc + i would love love to play sam!)

-game of thrones/house of the dragon (would love love aegon ii/undecided x my oc or to play rhaenyra or even aemond. tbh any of the women <3)

-the secret history (lovelovelove camilla x fem oc)

-older anime esp shoujo (think brothers conflict, ouran highschool host club) or others (diabolik lovers, soul eater, naruto, black butler, etc)

-i also write characters from various novels and am willing to read one (or watch a movie if you'd like a muse from a niche fandom, i have some of my own)

-sally face (sal fisher x my OC <3 i love playing larry)

Generally just feeling nostalgic fandoms rn!

like if you're interested and op will reach out

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Trish x Reader

You had recently been going out with a friend of a mutual friend. Her name was Trish and you found out that she lived a lavish lifestyle that she sustained while working as a dominatrix. You had no issues with that and only wondered why she chose to date someone as lame as you. Tonight was special because she was going to introduce you to her infant son. You always wanted to have a family so you were ecstatic and couldn't wait to meet the young boy.

"All right, we're here. I'll be back in a minute." she said as she winked. You were waiting outside of the local day care while sitting inside her luxury car. You weren't sure how you got so lucky but you only hoped it would stay like this. You saw you girlfriend return only to be greeted with a strange man.

"Hey babe, this is my son I told you about. He's two days old but he has a bit of a growth problem so he looks a lot older than he really is. The doctors aren't sure why he's going through puberty so young but I love him just as he is. His name is Vergil but he particularly likes it when you call him V." She introduced you and you stared dumbfounded while she ruffled his hair and placed her son in the booster seat (you swore she must be a witch because there was no way you could get a lanky drifter into a children's car seat.

"How was daycare sweetheart?" The man's face grew uncomfortable and his eyes shifted downward. "Did you make any new friends?" He cringed in disgust. "I don't need friends momma, I have Shadow, Griffon and Nightmare." For someone that was supposedly a baby he could speak remarkably well for his age. "Honey, it's fine to have imaginary friends but you should try to make real ones too." Her son got defensive. "THEY ARE REAL MOMMA, I SAW THEM!"

"Alright..., is there anything you would like for dinner?" V crossed his arms. "Fried chicken." She drove the three of you to her home which happened to be a large mansion. You weren't sure if this or seeing her son was more shocking. Trish ordered takeout and you grabbed some crayons and watched V draw. "This is Griffon, he's a birdie. That's Shadow, she's a kitty cat and that's Nightmare. I don't know what he is but he visits me in my dreams and I wake up screaming every night." You were mortified. "Why don't we go watch a movie instead?"

The boy quickly popped in ones if his favorites, mumbling something about it being a classic. A Clockwork Orange. You had never seen this movie but you were desperate to get away from those drawings. Only a few minutes into the movie and you had shut it off. Your face was pale. "Does your mother really let you watch such things...?" V proudly lifted his head. "Of course! Mommy says I'm very mature for my age." Before you could protest Trish had finally came by with the food.

You were now in the dining hall. You noticed that V had taken his napkin and had fastened it to his neck in an attempt to make a bib perhaps? Maybe an ascot? Either way it was ridiculous. You were talking with Trish when you heard glass shatter. "V what did I tell you?" You know noticed that the boy had replaced his knife with a large sword. "I'm sorry momma. I was just trying to make smaller bites." Trish sighed. "Its alright little one. You know the rules though, no using Force Edge at the table." She went to the kitchen and returned with a samurai sword. "Use this. It will be much easier on your wrists."

You were now helping with the dishes while V ran outside to play. You went to join him only to stumble once you realized the boy was trying to hit you with a wooden sword. "V, what did I tell you about playing with our guests!" He started to stomp his foot. "I CRAVE VIOLENCE MOTHER!" You took a few steps back only to bump into Trish. "I'm so sorry about this. He tends to be cranky when he hasn't had his nap."

Trish picked up her son and said "I think it's time for bed huh?" V gave no protest and went limp in her arms. "Good boy. You need to save your strength. How about I read to you?" He nodded. You were now in the upstairs bedroom. V had just finished brushing his teeth and putting his pajamas on. His mother helped apply lotion for his badly cracked, dry skin and then tucked him under the covers. It was now time to read. You expected a simple children's story or fairy tail such as sleeping beauty or the very hungry catapillar but to your horror she pulled out a large tome. The compete works of William Blake. This wasn't going to end anytime soon would it?

Several hours later and Trish began to nudge you awake. To be fair you always thought poetry was boring. She drove you back home and kissed you on the cheek. "I had a wonderful time. And I think my son is really enjoying your company. I'll see you soon." Trish drove off. You immediately took your phone out and changed your number and just to be safe, moved several countries away. You knew it was to good to be true.

[gxbbyhoneybadger]

This is my first Oneshot.

This is a long blog tho, lots of storytelling here folks! 🥹

Hometown Sweethearts

Pairing: Joel Miller x !F!Reader

Summary: Joel and you have known each other before the apocalypse had broken out, old neighbors, and both single parents. Both talk more on how Y/n became a parent at such a young age as well as Joel. Possibly kindling a new passion between the two of you.

Trigger Warnings: Dark fic, Language, angst, graphic depictions of SA, violence, threats, teen pregnancy, mutual pining, pre-outbreak (Sarah is still alive), neighbors/friends to lovers, sexual tension, fluff, child death, somewhat sad ending?

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7 (Finale)

I am also using Videogame Joel Miller in this

Minors DNI 🔞 18+ below the cut!

—

May 9th, Friday, 2013, 7 o'clock in the afternoon.

Y/n remained sitting on her couch while reading a book as her son did his homework by the kitchen table. His foot tapping on the floor as he nibbled the end of his pencil while trying to figure out a math problem.

"Hey, mom?" He asked as he scratched the corner of his jaw.

"What is it, Noah?" Y/n answered while turning a page in her book.

"What's three square plus four square?" He muttered, Y/n grinned at the question before turning her head to look at her very focused son.

"You tell me." She chuckled.

"I'm asking you so you can tell me!" He groaned—letting his head fall on the table.

"You're learning the Pythagorean theorem already?" She questioned—standing up and walking over to the table to sit beside him. He nodded his head helplessly as she scooted closer to his side.

"Why is math even important!?" He shrieked in the table, Y/n lifted his head and took the pencil in her own hand.

"Three square is basically asking: what's three times three is?" She explained, "And the answer is what?"

"Nine?" Noah muttered as he looked at her.

"Uh huh," She wrote down nine on his paper before moving to the next number, "What four times four?"

"sixteen?"

"Yep. Now what's nine plus sixteen?" Y/n questioned him.

". . . Twenty-five."

"Yes, or five squared. You're just timing the squared numbers to themselves before adding the two answers together. Simple math."

"Oh, Mr. Birdy sucks at explaining this crap."

"Hey, it's not crap. It's knowledge, girls like smart boys. And I'm going to have a chat with Mr. Birdy to pick up his slack." Y/n stood and kissed Noah's soft hair before strolling back to the couch to pick up her book.

"It's Friday, isn't it? Why do you even have homework?" She asked him, "For extra credit, I want to hurry and just get done with this extra stuff while get something out of it too."

"That's my boy." She smiled, she picked up a few plates from the coffee table and brought it to the kitchen where she started to wash the dishes. Just as doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Noah said before scurrying towards the door—checking the peephole before opening, "Oh mom~" He called in a singsong voice, "It's Mr. Miller—Oh crap! And Sarah!" He yelped before unlocking the door quickly and opening it.

Y/n just giggled at his attitude switch before drying her hands, hearing Joel greet her son and Sarah squeezing the life out of him with a bear crushing hug. She put the plate away and walked to the main room where Joel was standing.

"Evenin' Ms. L/n." Joel hummed as he hooked his right thumb on his jean pocket.

"Evenin' Mr. Miller." She said with a little mockery of his southern accent; Noah led Sarah out to the backyard where his treehouse remained.

"Don't forget to finish your homework, young man." She reminded him.

"I will! We're gonna be in the treehouse!!" He yelled as he ran out with Sarah.

Joel chuckled as he scratched the side of his beard. "Oh, you can take a seat, Joel." She offered him, "I'm gonna get some coffee. Would you like any?"

"I'd never pass up a good cup of your coffee." He grinned.

Y/n led him to her kitchen and let him take a seat by the table where Noah somewhat neatly put away his homework.

"How've you been doin' lately?" Joel questioned as he watched Y/n start the coffee machine.

"Same old same old, being a mom and a teacher at the same time. You?" She asked.

"The same, I suppose. Sarah is gonna have another game soon."

"Really? Perhaps me and Noah can show up. He likes yelling at her to run faster anyway." Y/n walked back and set the warm mug on the table beside Joel.

"Yeah, she calls him her own personal cheerleader." He chuckled, "Thank you."

"No problem." She sat down and had her own coffee as she crossed her legs, "So what're you doing here? Just wanted some free coffee?"

"Well, yes, but I wanted to uh—I wanted to ask you something, if that's alright." He inquired.

"Sure, go ahead. You do all sorts of favors for me all the time." She smiled—taking a sip of her drink before setting it down.

"Me, Tommy and Sarah were planning on going on a camping trip later next weekend, and Sarah wouldn't stop bothering me about bringing your son along—"

"You're a terrible liar, dad!!" Sarah yelled from the backdoor window.

"You better get lost!" Joel called back, making Y/n laugh. Noah was heard laughing from the back as well before Sarah ran off to chase him up the treehouse.

"You're inviting my son to a camping trip?" She chuckled out. "If that's okay with you, I'd also like to. . . bring you along, so you're close with your son, that is." He added; Y/n nodded her head and answered.

"I wouldn't mind going along with you and your family, Joel. It sounds fun. I never gone camping before."

"Really? I thought you and Noah had to have gone camping, what about his father, he take him anywhere outside of town?" Joel asked, Y/n shook her head.

"His father's been absent since day one." Y/n replied, taking Joel by surprise as he glanced at Noah's homework folder.

"I didn't know that, I thought he had visitation at least."

"Nope. Never even tried to reach out to his son. It pains me to watch him go through father's day without a father next to him." Y/n sighed while letting her the tip of her middle finger trace the rim of her mug. But she grew a small smile when she looked at Joel, "This might sound a little strange, but Noah sees you as his father figure, told me himself before when he was eleven."

Joel smiled at the confession and started to chuckle, "That's funny, Sarah said the same 'bout you when she was ten. She thought of you as the best mom when you showed up for that mother's day thing at her school."

Y/n blushed and drank her coffee while letting her foot bounce on the floor, similar like her son.

"She's adorable. . . Whoever her mother is sure missed out on a great girl." She commented, which made Joel pause as he thought of Sarah's mother. He sighed and set his cup on the table.

"We never really spoke about our pasts', have we?" He questioned, Y/n shook her head as she remained quiet. Her eyes finding Joel's hazel irises as he sat in silence.

"Let's talk on the couch, it's more comfortable than the chairs." She said as she walked to the living room; Noah and Sarah were busy playing Poker in the treehouse, betting candy and small toys to one another.

Both happily enjoying their time together as the adults enjoyed their moment alone.

"Boom! Three of a kind!" Sarah laughed as she raised her fists up in the air, Noah sighed and dramatically held his hair.

"Oh no! I. . . Won!" He triumphantly roared as he threw his cards down, revealing a straight flush.

"What!?" Sarah gasped, "You cheated!"

"Nope, I just had a poker face was all. I'll be taking these, thank you." He chuckled mischievously as he grabbed the pile of candy.

". . . Do you think our parents will get mad if they catch us gambling?" Sarah asked.

"Just as long as it's candy, then we're totally fine. . . Unless you wanna start using real money." Noah snickered, "Now. . . Wanna watch a scary movie?"

"Yes!" Sarah giggled.

Joel sat on the couch as Y/n sat not too far away from him, she sat back and fixed her loose shirt. Her hair was down and covering her shoulders, her shorts up to her thighs as she wore socks that slid up to her calves.

"Ain't you cold, sweetheart?" Joel chuckled.

"Nah, not with this coffee, I ain't." She smirked, "So, how did you. . . React when you found out you were going to be a dad?"

Joel let out a long exhale as he rested his arm on the arm of the couch, lightly biting the inside of his cheek before he answered, "Petrified the right word?"

"I bet. You're what? Thirty-one now?"

"Going on thirty-two in a few months."

"Damn, Joel, you were twenty when you had Sarah?"

"Yup. Me and her mother were young and we fooled around, we weren't careful and one thing led to another and she was pregnant." He said.

"Was she around your age?" Y/n asked.

"Yeah, she only stuck around for a year before leaving me alone with Sarah." Joel answered, he turned his head and looked at Y/n.

"What about you? You're younger than me, ain't you?"

"I am, I'm twenty-eight."

". . . How old is Noah?" Joel asked.

". . . He's thirteen. . ."

Joel watched Y/n's face as he did his math problem in his head—his eyes widening when he realized just how young she was to become a mother. His mouth slightly agape as Y/n jokingly arched her brow.

"Got your answer, cowboy?" She chuckled.

"You were fifteen!" He said. Y/n nodded her head and laughed as his tone.

"Yeah, unfortunate for me, huh?" She whispered, "Let's just say his father wasn't the type of guy to take no for an answer."

"Christ, Y/n. . . I'm sorry." Joel said to her as he sat closer and held her hand.

"Don't be. It's a very tragic thing, yes, but. . . If it didn't happen, then he wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have met you or your amazing daughter. My mother always told me that things happen for a reason, like a domino effect." Y/n smiled lowly as she looked at Joel's hand, clasping his palm and intertwining her fingers with his.

"If I had a chance to go back and decide whether it should have happened or not, I wouldn't change one thing." She said as she turned her head to look at a picture of Noah at a basketball game he won with his team.

"He's the best thing I've ever had, a little brat sometimes but it's definitely worth it. Wouldn't you say the same about Sarah?" She asked Joel, he nodded and agreed with her question.

"I wouldn't know what it could've been like without her." He muttered.

"I know how you feel. . . My father was strict, especially with me. My brothers and I had a party for my fifteenth birthday in the barn at night, my father was asleep. The only people invited were my brothers friends across our farm, the neighbors oldest son. . . He was the one who didn't take no for an answer."

"Y/n."

"It's okay, I need to get it off my chest anyway. . ." She grinned as she squeezed his hand, "His name was Malcolm, and he was eighteen at the time. . . He was drunk, and so was I. I never was interested in the whole dating thing, or getting rid of my virginity like my brothers. . . I didn't like him one bit and neither did my younger brother, Matthew. But. . . When I tried to leave the barn, he caught up with me and made me kiss him at first."

She sighed and continued on, "He started to touch me and tried to pull my dress off; I fought back, but I froze up. My fear got to me, and he did what he wanted. . . I don't remember how I managed to get back into my bed, my knees and legs were sore. Everything stung and I remember crying, feeling disgusted. . . I didn't tell anyone, but after a few weeks, I found out I was pregnant."

She shut her eyes and sighed while letting her head fall back on the back of the couch.

"I told my brothers what happened and about my pregnancy, they were pissed. Then eventually, I told my father. I expected him to blame me, shout at me and even hit me for being promiscuous or something but. . . He did the complete opposite. He got his shotgun and marched out of the house, me and brothers followed so he wouldn't actually kill anyone. . ."

Joel watched her as she withdrew her hand from him and instead scooted closer to rest her head on his shoulder.

". . . This okay?" She muttered.

"Yeah, it's alright." He whispered softly.

". . . He kicked the neighbors door down and held the shotgun at Malcolm's dad, raging at him for raising his son to be a rapist. His parents were confused and shaken by the accusations, but when Malcolm saw my dad's pure fury. . . Ha! I'll never forget his face, his soul left his body when my father punched him in the face before letting my brothers gang up on him while he made his parents watch." Y/n felt Joel's arm gently wrap around her side and pull her closer to his side for comfort.

"My father made sure that Malcolm would step up and pay him money every single week for support. He threatened Malcolm's parents that if he doesn't pay up, he'll blow out their son's guts. They didn't even dare to call the police since even they feared my father, he was a retired marine and a retired officer. Highly respected and highly feared by everyone in my town. And I was his only daughter out of his twelve sons."

Joel listened to every word as she cuddled closer into his embrace without even thinking, his warmth and broad body snuggled close to hers perfectly like a jigsaw piece.

"Can I ask. . . Why you decided to keep him?" Joel murmured beside her ear, his breath gusting over her skin and making her face redden.

"When I was younger, maybe eleven or twelve myself, I was told by the doctors and my mother that I wouldn't be able to have children. There was something wrong with my productive system, my grandmother had it and was lucky to bore one daughter, my mother didn't. . . It skips a generation, I suppose. I was around two months pregnant when I told my father I wanted to keep the baby and raise it. But he wasn't having it. He yelled at me for even going to the party and said that I couldn't handle the responsibility of raising a baby. . . He said once my baby was born, he was going to put it up for adoption and continue life as if nothing happened."

"Then. . . why'd he even get the money out of that bastard anyway?" Joel questioned.

"For his own gain, he was a gambler and an alcoholic during that time. . . I broke down to my older brothers, saying that I didn't want to give away possibly my one and only child that I'll ever have in my life. . . They felt betrayed by our dad, they really wanted to be uncles. . . So we thought of the next best thing: we move away. . . Our oldest brother, Adam was well in his twenties, he was going to leave soon and he decided to take me with him. My brothers didn't want to be left behind so he took them too, eventually after that, we got settled down and moved here to Austin. I gave birth and raised Noah with my brothers, I started to work on my school and graduate, got a job and got this house next to yours. I was twenty-four when I moved in. Noah was nine and Sarah was eight when I met. . . You. . ." She sighed.

Joel let his hand gently touch Y/n's jaw and turn her head to look up at him, her eyes locked on his as they stare in silence. Her eyes glancing at his lips before his again, Joel's irises lingered on her mouth as she leaned into his touch.

"Joel." She muttered out, her hand touched his chest as she leaned towards him. Joel didn't move any further, waiting for her to choose what she wanted herself. And she did, she pressed her lips against his and didn't stop.

Joel whispered something against her lips, she hugged his shoulders and added more to the kiss. His beard perfectly scratching over her skin and adding more to the euphoria as she accepted his tongue. She hugged his shoulders and crawled on his lap, straddling Joel as his hands held the sides of her thighs. Both groaning and moaning as their bodies rocked against one another.

Only for Y/n to open her eyes to a rotted ceiling above her. Groggily sighing and sitting up—she stood and grabbed her gun before heading towards the door.

Remembering everything that happened before. It only lasted for a bitter moment. It was just one month of them being together, and on Joel's birthday during midnight. . . Everything flipped.

And not only did Y/n and Noah accidentally separate from Joel and Sarah. But Noah didn't make it. He was bitten by an infected person and turned, Y/n was the one who mournfully put him to rest.

She was forced to move on or die, no matter how badly she wanted to die. Right there beside her only son; a few months later, she reunited with her brother. Finding out the half of her brothers didn't make it, that her friends were killed, she was shattered. Before she found Joel again, it was five years later and they were both heartbroken still.

They got into an argument, straining the already high tension. It was bad. So much so, Y/n couldn't stand looking at Joel, and he couldn't stand her. Joel and Y/n turned into hunters and their younger siblings beside them.

Closed off and more hostile, Tommy and Mateo both tried to get the two to warm up but both were still mourning and in pain. Y/n knew she was dragging everyone down, so she left herself to be alone.

It had been fifteen years since and she was still on her own. She's had ups and downs, still closed off and never interacting with anyone but herself. She became like someone she always feared.

Her own father.

[justlydiasworld]

AVOID ME

Pairing: Robin Buckley x F!Reader

Summary: An ex-best friend of yours-Robin Buckley, tries her best to avoid you at all cost. You don’t know the reason behind all of this,but you’ve been playing along. Not until you had no other choice but to share a queen sized bed with her. Will secrets be shared? Who knows? Let’s dive in.

Warning(s): angst, hurt reader/robin, bit of fluff,etc. (if I miss anything, please don’t hesitate to tell me.)

part 2 -

please let me know if you would want to be tagged on the next part!

Authors note: This idea randomly came when I was talking to a mutual of mine @crow-the-birdie . We were talking about the enemies to lovers dynamic and then the bed trope. I immediately thought of Robin and f!reader because it fits perfectly. Or that’s what I think. My inbox/messages are still open. If you need any ideas or request rules, press the link down below. 👇

Links: angst prompt list | fluff prompt list | requesting rules | nsfw prompt list | date idea prompt list

“And that is it for this class, you guys may be dismissed.” Mr.Marley neatly stacked the homework sheets and sat them on his wooden desk. Pushing back his glasses Mr.Marley notices the field trip forms in the corner.He widens his eyes for a seconds and clears his throat.

—-

You were packing your things swiftly,and ready to head out of this class. A sudden swoosh breezes pass your exposed skin. Leaving chills down your spine. It was Robin. It seems like she always tends to leave this class earlier than most students- maybe because you’re in her classes. You let out a huge sigh and roll your eyes. Ever since last years prom- she never tries to approach you again. Robin often glances time to time but she never tried to shoot a conversation. You’ve convinced yourself she hates you. Robin excludes you out of group projects, leaves you to each lunch alone, talks over you whenever you get the chance to answer questions- so on and so forth.

As Robin tries to leave the class- she was stopped by Mr.Marley. “Uh uh uh, not so fast ms.buckley.” He took his hand and placed it in front of Robin, almost leaning forward. “u-uh, did I do something wrong Mr.Marley? I know I alway leave your class super super early- but I swear I have a good reason. Or-or that’s what I would like to say but-“ Mr.Marley raises an eyebrow,giving Robin a look. “You aren’t in any trouble ms.buckely. I just have to make an announcement before anybody gets the chance to leave today.”

He grabs the field trip form and holds it up in the air. “Everybody listen up.” You turned your head to see the brown haired teacher holding up a form. “We will be having a fun field trip for this year,and I would like you to have this signed and turned in by tomorrow morning. We’ll be checking out museums, stores , and sleeping in a hotel.” Your mouth opens slightly- this was so sudden. You raised your hand in the air in curiosity. His eyes roaming around in the room-finally noticing your hand being raised.

“Yes.Question?“ he points at you with a blank face. “You mentioned sleeping in a hotel right?” Your arms now flung down onto the side. “Yes,yes I have.” His arms now crossed and held close. “I’m sure all of these students won’t have a singular room for themselves- are we sharing a bed?a room? Are their two beds? Could you explain please?” You grabbed your book bag that was sitting on your chair, brows furrowed- you can see Robin avoiding eye contact. She’s playing with her rings, a nervous wreck. That’s what she was.

“Good question,Ms. y/n/l.” A small grin tugs his mouth in the corner. Robin takes a seat near the door and slowly swings her back pack onto the desk. “We will be sharing a room. Two girls in one room. Two guys in one room. And unfortunately there’s one room with only one bed. You may have to sleep with the other person or either you or them can sleep on the floor. It’s up to the person who gets the room.” He eyes at Robin and it seems like he was pulling something. Silence filled the class and you were pretty satisfied with the answer- convinced that you might share a room or even a bed with other students besides Robin. Or hopefully not Robin.

After all, you did tell Mr.Marley about the whole situation many many times. Surprisingly-Robin didn’t interrupt you this once. Which was a bit shocking but you didn’t give it much of a thought. “Get those signed.” He handed each students a form- now leaving the room one by one. Now it was you and Robin left in the room. Why didn’t she leave like always? As you took the slip from his hands- you gave him a nod and left class. It was just Robin left behind.

“M-Mr. Marley?” Robin twisted her rings and gave an awkward smile. “Yes Robin?” He raised his brows once again and noticed the nervous brunette. “Am I sharing a bed with..uhm-“ she turns her head, making sure you aren’t there to listen to the conversation. “-y/n?” Mr.Marley grinned at the brunettes flushed face. “Not that I care. I definitely don’t like her. Yeah. Not a bit. She’s a butt. Mhm. A pain in the a-“ as she was about to finish, Robin saw the soft head shake that the teacher made. “Yeah sorry..” she muttered underneath her breath. “Robin, I think it’s time to talk it out with her. It’s now or never.” He took a seat on his swivel. She lets out a sigh and her head down low. “I made this field trip specifically for this situation.” He stapled some sheets together and does the same thing to the other sheets that were now laid perfectly down flat. “Oh w-wow,uhm, you would go that far for us Mr.Marley? I mean of course you would. We’re you’re students. And it would be stupid if you didn’t care for us because you’re our teacher so if you didn’t-” She tilted her head and gave a toothy smile. “I’m doing it again,arent I?”

He looked at the brunette and looked at her and said,” Robin,if there’s one thing you should know about me.” He stopped and continued to staple more sheets of papers. “I don’t put in effort into something meaningless. Trust me. I know how much you love that girl.” He chuckled and pushed back his glasses with his index finger. “Lo-Love? No,I hate her. I absolutely despise her. I cannot stand her.” She stomped her feet softly on the ground, trying her hardest to convince her teacher that she totally did not love you.

He sighed and got up from his chair and leaned on one of the desks. Robins eyes following his every step. “You have to tell her the truth. The reason why you pushed yourself away from her,Robin. That’s all I can say. I’m merely you’re teacher, this field trip is my part of helping you out. Do your part,will ya’?” He crossed his arms and stared at the freckled brunette. Robin on the other hand knows that you deserve the truth, but there’s no point in telling you now. You practically hate her. Or so that’s what Robin thinks.

—- NEXT DAY —-

“Thank you for turning the forms in on time.” Mr.Marley says as each students walk in his class with the signed form. Robin nervously taps on the desk and waits patiently. A few seconds later, you ran in the door and apologized for being late. You handed him the form and you can see Robin just examining your face. It’s like she never got to actually see your face. You rolled your eyes,expecting the brunette to say something stupid and put you down again. “ I don’t like your smile. “ or “ what is that smell? “ and she turns to stare at you and says “ oh it’s just you.” As you broke the small moment of eye contact, Robin’s body froze up. That eye roll and pissed face, she didn’t like that at all. Her body felt so heavy, her heart filling with guilt and regret.

—-IN THE BUS —-

You couldn’t believe what Mr.Marley said. “We have specific seats on the bus?” One student called out, sitting on the rubber cushion. “Yes,we do.” He grabs the sheet of paper and fixes his glasses to call the names out and point out where they’re seating and who they will be sitting with. A groan left all of the students lips and yours too. You couldn’t believe it.

—

You couldn’t believe this at all. You were paired up with buckely. Robin buckley. You thought it was a mistake but now you couldn’t say a thing because all of the other students were happy with their seating arrangements and the bus took off.What’s worse is that Mr.Marley already went and took a seat on the front row. You were in the back.

You sigh and look down on the floor. Your thighs almost touching robins. She nervously watches as your sorrowful eyes meet the cold flooring. It struck Robin that she made you feel this way. She did this to you. Robin was near the window and she tried her best to avoid your soft gaze. It seemed quieter for the both of you when the bus were filled with other students,yelling and laughing at jokes that weren’t funny and laughable.

- 11:00 pm (still heading to the hotel.) -

“so, why’d you avoid me for 3 years.” You had no clue where you had this sudden confidence burst from,but you were dazed, closing and shutting your eyes slowly.But she couldn’t see that because you turned your head away from hers, avoiding to make eye contact to the person who left you with no explanation.Robins eyes widened and turned to see your trembled hand. Trembling. “ I’m so sorry (y/n). It’s such a childish reasoning but I hope you’ll forgive me. Please.” Robin wants to take your soft hands and hold them tenderly, and with care. She never intended to hurt you, but she did. She thought maybe if she acted cold towards you, maybe the feelings she had for you, would also turn cold. And that logic didn’t work. It only broke robins poor heart to see you in this kind of state, what’s even worse is that she did this to you. She caused this all. As soon Robin opened her mouth. Your head gently falls on her shoulder. A slight weight on Robin. She froze up once again and smiled. Hesitantly but now kissing the top of your head and gently placed her head on top of yours.

- 2:00 am ( still on the bus ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )-

Soon enough,all you can hear was the rain pouring outside of the school bus. Hitting gently on the glass windows. Like rushing waters that had a slight soothing sound that came with every drop. You opened your eyes roughly, waking up to the sound of thunder. Making you jump a bit, clinging onto robins arm. “I’m- im so sorry.” You looked up and you weren’t expecting the both of you being so close to each other’s faces. Hearing the heart beats bouncing off the bus. Silence roaming around but the soft breathing that Robin made, only you and her being able to hear. Another lightning appeared outside, but this time you could see how the light was shown on robins freckled face. Nose to nose, breath to breath,body on body.

[aqqleshiqqing-archive]

Hi, Jil!! Just popping in because of your tags on my fic asdfghjkl

I did write "this one is for my Pokémon mutuals" with the thought "specifically Jil" in parentheses in my head--you're like ... my main Pokémon mutual. Gotta share some breadcrumbs of Aria/Eusine with THE Pokémon mutual, of course.

Also Eusine is a fairly arrogant character--he's very proud of his knowledge of myths (oh no ... a man who likes history ... and me having a history degree ... how could I resist ... /lh) and does tend to dismiss others when they try to correct him. He's not as dismissive of Aria or Morty, though, because ... *childhood friends beam.* Also maybe he likes Aria that way, so he's a bit easier on her, who knows--

Anyway, I had the misfortune of seeing the only (?) Johto anime episode with him as a kid, and little 9-year-old Sarah really though, "Man. This guy's a jerk." Little did she know she'd fall for that jerk years later. We don't talk about that--

The loss of the shiny Pidgey exists because I was training Ollie (my Chikorita/Bayleef/Meganium) in HG the other day, encountered a shiny Pidgey, and realized I didn't have any more Poké Balls--massive loss. But also a win because ship lore. And also the second time I've run into a shiny Pidgey while playing a Johto game ... maybe someday I'll actually catch the thing.

ANYWAY. I always felt Suicune would prefer Aria over Eusine (similar to the way the plot unfolds in the games, with Eusine eventually ceding the right to catch Suicune to the player), and while she would like to catch it, she's not as ... let's say ... passionate about it as Eusine is. Hence why Suicune tends to respond to her.

... she does think him chasing after Suicune all the time cute, though. It's very subtle, but she would've been mega embarrassed to fail that Pidgey in front of him--because, while it's not stated directly, she's imagining a scene where she failed at her life goal in front of her crush. It's not like Eusine doesn't do that on a regular basis, but that only makes it worse for Aria asdfghjkl

I also liked writing the subtle “… you were talking to Suicune about me?” followed by Aria immediately changing the subject--and then her adjusting his bow tie later. Subtle things get me all the time--

Anyway, uh--Morty, huh? 👀 /lh

(And sorry for the essay--I just. Have a lot to say and like to respond to tags through asks, sometimes asdfghjkl)

~ heart-of-aspiration 📖

HI SARAHH!! - oh man the fact you had me in particular to share the aria/eusine ship makes me SO honored ("THE pokemon mutual", that made me audibly giggle) and i'm honestly here for it, and you can tell i can definitely like - have the capacity to take batch after batch of hardcore pokemon ship/self insert lore (and be equally as talkative and lengthy about it...) so naturally i'd immediately gravitate here, and it's characters belonging to gen 2 which i'm incredibly biased to.... AHFJSHFGAS

i should've expected this from eusine - it would seem that he doesn't seem too dissimilar to his manga counterpart (which is radiating the same vibes as how you written him, he's definitely arrogant but kind enough to help) i actually should share some panels of him maybe! i'll admit that he was really hilarious for being lowkey petty due to a certain circumstance in the manga, but moving on!

i respect that his attitude is toned down towards aria and morty, they're totally good friends and morty doesn't seem like someone who'd engage in fights quickly - he's super relaxed and wise...

the whole pidgey story got me WAHUSHASHDAF THAT'S SUCH A MISSED OPPORTUNITYYY but that moment was enough to be a realistic incident for aria and i LOVE it. i hope you can actually catch that shiny birdie!!

i can totally imagine a scenario where she notices eusine on his failed attempts to catch suicune and he probably curses to himself (assuming he's alone) and aria would just quietly laugh, reminding herself how much she adores him and how cute he is for that - i swear i know a dynamic where they had a similar vibe to this but i can't seem to point out who or what -- but my point is, i love that dynamic so much. it doesn't feel TOO much like a rivalry but it's enough to at least poke fun at each other's professions + their little romance heheh ITS JUSTTT. YEAHHH!!!

let's not talk about morty /lh /pos the headband makes him look so cute combined with his relaxed personality and i'm on a hunt for a misdreavus and to name it after him as we speak WAHUSDHAUFS (IT'S NOT SUCCESSFUL HOWEVER BUT I'M GETTING THERE) let's just say he's one of the early crushes i have - not too active but i... would like to hold his hand HWAJHSDJAHJFDSAF. if he ever resurfaces im running to you immediately /pos /lh

[sam-glade]

Find the Words Tag

Tagged by @oh-no-another-idea here and @toribookworm22 here. Thank you both💜

And passing it onto: @squarebracket-trick @writernopal @canadjester @winterandwords. Your words are: know, knock, knight, keen.

This time I'm looking in all the files with outtakes, old drafts, and self-indulgent fluff.

From @oh-no-another-idea: sun, cloud, break, wave, and swim

SUN

“It was a mutual agreement.”

“Gullin, please. Don’t embellish.” Ianim sighed. “I wasn’t expecting to be named the First Prince’s Successor. Light-of-my-Sun my Grandfather is a cosmic constant; he wasn’t supposed to step down. I wasn’t prepared. I realised that between family obligations and joining different divisions upon graduation, we wouldn’t be able to give each other enough time and attention, and it would be hard on both of us. So, I broke it off.”

CLOUD

The leaves on the trees glistened from the wetness, orange and yellow. The grass had lost its lustre, but other than that, the area looked so much better maintained. The manor was freshly plastered, and the utility buildings painted white to match. The roof was cleared off moss and smoke was rising steadily above it. It didn't look large, not with edges of it hidden behind large bushes, and the heavy clouds providing a backdrop.

BREAK (From a kulig Gullin was invited to. I should turn it into a short story)

The sun set soon, and the sleighs were lit up by shaking lanterns. At some point Gullin found himself in a completely different sleigh, with people he didn't know, but with enough tincture to break the ice.

WAVE

“A little birdie told me that you need someone to cheer you up,” Catnip said as a greeting.

“I’m pretty sure it was a squirrel,” he retorted, shaking her wrist.

She waved at him to follow her back to the city. He did. Yes, he was probably wasting precious time, but on the other hand, he was flying around the Five Princedoms, looking for dragons, and it didn’t look like he was getting any closer to finding them. Maybe, just maybe, clearing his head for one evening would help.

SWIM

“Master Claren,” Lissan interrupted him. “I can’t swim.” Claren looked at him in disbelief. “The only body of water near the house back in Aritia was a river which barely reached past my knees, and who would have taught me anyway?” Lissan explained, amused by the man’s expression.

From @toribookworm22: subdue, fate, told, believe.

SUBDUE

“What ‘other threats’ do you mean? We mustn't be involved in law enforcement.”

“Natural disasters. Fires, floods, this sort of things. Either a Sword wielding the Element may be able to subdue it, or someone with protective powers can get the people to safety.”

FATE (Gullin speaking first)

"I love you."

"I know." He was pleased. And amused. He was trying not to laugh, Gullin knew that expression all too well, the lit up eyes, the corners of his mouth twitching. Gullin glared with indignation. He wasn't supposed to laugh at a statement like this. "I'm sorry, I'm just… really happy to hear it when you're conscious."

"When I'm–"

If the Fate had a shred of mercy, she'd turn him to ash on the spot.

TOLD (also from the kulig)

And then there was another party, and he vaguely recalled Lissan sitting on a table when an irate noble attempted to flip it. Sabres were drawn, and he was about to step in, but Lissan wrapped an arm around his shoulders and told him to watch. 

"They're drunk!" Gullin objected. He marvelled at how most of these people were still upright, given the amount of strong alcohol they'd consumed.

"Yes. And also not new at this."

BELIEVE

"You still coming to the shooting ranges on Wednesday?"

"I can come," Gullin said with a shrug. "If you really don't believe my word that no, I definitely cannot intercept bullets in the air."

"I have a bet with Ritenya that you can." Nikols's tone was more guarded. Gullin frowned. Why did the name ring a bell? "What?"

"Remind me, is it your girlfriend or your buddy from the shooting competition?"

"Artillery's Second Brigadier." 

Gullin's mouth turned into a wry smile.

"Not yet the former then."