arwynnesmg9

[recallback-art]

Decided I wanna try doing Inktober, but to make it easy I'm tryna only do a small doodle every day! Nothing more than I want to do to avoid burn-out, y'know? Finding a good list was hard, but I'm using @bweirdart's OC-Tober list!

Day 1 was Fave OC, and that's a very sought after title but Hikaru is so old and has been in every single fandom I have been in so he's gotta be a fave.... my scrunkly old dog <3

[factual-fantasy]

28 asks! Thanks ya'll!! :}} 🕸️

Thanks to you anon I finally found a way to make the Mega evolution work! Which inspired me to make this post!

And an Enchantment Seed to induce mega evolution.. that's genius!!

AW. I hadn't realized that each mega has a stone unique to their species! That adds an extra layer of difficulty 😔

Ah? :0 My name is not Jana..

Also I'm going through a reaaaly hard season in my life rn 🫠🫠I'm hoping with all my heart that its over soon.. thank you for asking! <:D

@candyglumboy

Sorry, I don't take drawing requests! <:D

That'd genius XDD Now to find the right stock images.. 🤔

You make a good argument ngl XDD

@scg4

Bonnie probably has some dialogue lined up in the event he encounters a crying child. All relating to his own role as a Bowling coach no doubt.

He might try to comfort him with things along the lines of "You did great." "Don't worry, you'll get it next time champ." "Don't give up, you can do it!"

But if those phrases don't relate to what Gregory is upset about.. Bonnie might not know what to say. He's not intended to be the chatty type.. He might give Gregory a gentle pat on the shoulder. Maybe a "Its gonna be okay, kiddo.." Probably just subtle things like that until Freddy or Foxy show up to better help comfort him. :'(

Indeed he is! I had my heart set on a Sylveon but I wasn't about to spend hours looking for a 12% spawn chance on a female Eevee <XDD

Plus drawing Sylveon to look more masculine is fun! And having his story be that he loved his friends so much that he evolved for them and they accepted him the way he was?? It makes the male Sylveon thing work for me XDD

@i-v-y67

Thank you so much!! And aww!! She's adorable!!! :DDD

SKNF BINGO REAL XDD

I'm feeling better than I did yesterday, but still not great.. 🫠Thank you for asking though! :)) I hope you are well!

I'm not familiar with any of the book animatronics.. though I'd like to imagine that Fazbear Entertainment was wise about the designs of the other glamrocks. It would make sense that each different location would have different themes. You know, to keep them from being same-y same-y.

What I mean by this- is while the Pizzaplex is very futuristic and space themes.. maybe other locations that have the Twisted wolf or Ella would be Ocean or Fantasy themed..?

Maybe the ocean themed place would be blue and have a lot of mermaids, pirates, boats, treasure, sea creatures, etc. The animatronics would be glittery and have long flowy designs perhaps?

@nootking

Thank you! I don't have a Patreon or anything.. but I have considered making one i the past.. 🤔

-- Also NOnononono, absolutely not- I don't draw NSFW 💀

@littlelightfish

XDD Tuna just be standing over you like "..Is.. is it dead? Oh crap its dead isn't it- I gotta get Louis to help me dispose of this body-"

Indeed he is! XDD

@flutehammer

ah? :DD You're welcome! (?) :00

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! :DDD That means a lot to me!! :}}] 💞💞

Now I'm taking a break from Octonauts atm- but I do have a headcannon I can share about the Vegimals at least! :00

So typically in Octonauts, we see only 5 vegimals total. These being, (from left to right) Barrot, Codish, Grouber, Tomminow and Tunip.

But in this screenshot from.. I forget the episode, we see 3 extra vegimals. A blue one, (Halibeet) another big purple one, (Sharchini) and a little green one (Pikato)

We almost NEVER see these vegimals. So I headcannoned that the main 5 Vegimals are all chefs and rather extroverted. While the missing 3 are rather shy and are the gardeners of the group. While you can go into the kitchen and easily find and talk to the 5 vegimals.. of you go into the garden pod you'll find the missing 3 all shyly humming together and gardening. :}

Its gotta be this one here <XDD

(Also good on you for steppin out! Proud of you for that :}}} 💪💪✨)

@skatermusic

Huh? Oh nono I don't ever delete or purge my artwork- it must be a Tumblr problem not showing my posts..? <:00

Also my pronouns are they/them for anonymity XDD so you're totally fine!

@longlivethedragons

WAAAAAHG THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! 😭😭💞💞💖💞

@emmetest

AWE!! :DD YOU'RE COOL!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! :}}}}

While he's in there can he eat all the insulation? I'm trynna let that cold rainy air, IN

@tallchest13-blog

Oh to have a Gengar in this summer heat indeed.. 😔

@chickenheadguy (Image is from this post)

The dude just loves his fwiends so much.. 🥺💞💞

@smithanonsworld

I have been laughing at this image for 25 minutes

@minnesotamedic186

Fr?? That's sick!! After a quick Google search-

"Inside Rayquaza's body lies an organ that contains the same power as a Mega Stone. A Devon Corporation scientist named this organ the mikado organ (Japanese: ミカド器官). By consuming meteoroids as it flies through the stratosphere, the organ will be filled with enough energy to enable Rayquaza's Mega Evolution."

Turns out he's a hungry boi XDD

@stupid-thatsme

Well Grimace isn't warm- Gengars steal the heat from their surroundings <XD But I'm sure he wouldn't mind a hug! :))

I'd like to think he encountered an Espeon at some point, Mostly because that's the only eeveeloution I remember encountering in game--

But considering Espeon's whole friendship evolution thing... maybe a Leafeon or Vaporeon encounter would be more likely? I wonder how that would make him feel.. seeing what he could have been.. you just gave me a drawing idea! 👀👀

[regretisstoredintheme]

Indulgent thoughts? Indulgent thoughts. 

I was told that if I ever had indulgent thoughts (about Leo specifically???? What 😭😭😭) I had to share them, so… *sighhhhh*

YOU TWO. (@soradragon and @milks-thoughts) ASKED FOR IT.

Disclaimer that most of this was improv.

For context: I had this really bad interaction with Celina’s Yan!Leo ai, (I had tried to correct it but I ended up having to just delete the convo.) Anyways, after I had recovered from it, it got me thinking abt a post the aforementioned mutual, @pianocat939 made. I realize how much of a bad idea it is to @ her, but I’m already exposing myself, so WHY NOT 😀 

HI CELINA 👋👋 IM ON TV!! IM BEING A BRAVE BOY 😀😀😀 

Anyway

—

The idea is that you— or I guess me?? Ehh I’ll put it in a ‘Y/n’ format so it makes more sense. (Tw for Yandere behavior) 

Y/n had been held captive by a version of Yandere Leo that was a lot more— physical, ig?? and who felt completely content with making them feel like the scum of the earth. He had violent mood swings, and picked— no, more like dug at any insecurity of theirs he could find. (The Ai made it clear he was like a wolf in sheep’s clothing 😒 a wolf on the hunt. and by “made it clear” I mean it literally could not stop mentioning it lmAOHDJAHAHA—) 

This is where my au comes in. 

So what does Y/n do? They start being reckless. Looking for any way to escape. There weren’t many times the brothers left on missions, so when they finally did, they had a plan to investigate around. They walked up to Donnie’s lab, and started poking around at things. They figured the purple-clad turtle would have something they could use. Something dangerous, perhaps? 

Unfortunately, (or fortunately..?) they found one of his prototypes. 

This prototype was meant to bend reality, it was an experimental design since it was his first attempt at mixing tech with mystic. but since they poked around at it’s draft, it couldn’t help but act unexpectedly. 

And sent them into another dimension entirely. 

The canon dimension. 

With no Yanderes, no captivity, and none of that fear they were so used to. 

They were .. free..? 

They looked around the streets cautiously, looking for any signs that it was a hallucination or illusion. Were they really back in the streets of NYC? After having been in that godforsaken lair for years? How many years they had no idea, their guess was 2, but they couldn’t be sure.

They sat in waiting, cautious. They couldn’t go to the police, but they knew they had to stay out of sight. The prototype of Donnie’s creation had come with them, flashing every few seconds.  They didn’t know how to turn it off, only how to hide. And they did it pretty well, holding a home base for a few days. 

Everything tipped them off, but they were beginning to calm down, that was before they realized Donnie’s invention was probably still on. After finally finding the switch, they flipped it, the light finally powering down. They sighed, eyebrows furrowing in relief— but it wasn’t over yet. 

Hearing a sound, they flipped around in surprise, running to hide before lifting their arms up, a feeble attempt to guard from whatever was walking out of the alleyway.

From the shadows, the only slightly familiar face of Foot Lieutenant, his mouth curved into a dark smile. Y/n had only seen him once, when they had attacked the turtles, but they seemed— different somehow..  “I do believe that was a tech signal from a certain purple, mutated turtle..” he turned to Brute with a sinister chuckle, gazing down at a jagged piece of equipment. “We’ve got them now..” 

Y/n could hardly breathe, but they kept a hand over their mouth, determined to be as quiet as possible. From their many failed escape attempts, they knew Donnie had a tracer on his tech. Anyone who used it without authorization would have his ‘tag’ on them for quite a while. It was easily traceable. So if these people could trace that signal..

“Wait, I’m picking up something else!” Lieutenant looked back at the equipment, “it’s.. some sort of residue..” he hummed, then turned in Y/n’s direction. 

They felt their heart stop, eyes wide as they went to check around the corner. Was there a way out of this? Were they gonna leave one captor only to walk into the hands of another? 

Just as they began to spiral, a bright light illuminated from below them, encasing their cheeks gently in its blue hue. They didn’t have any time to react, the ground opening from below them as they fell into the abyss of neon. 

They felt the world spin around them as arms circled their back and legs, bridal style, as if their ‘savior’ had twirled flamboyantly once he caught them. 

Their eyes opened gently, before a gasp left their throat. The blood drained from their face, looking upon none other than Leo.

Normally they knew at least a few things to expect from him when they tried to escape, but they had never made it away for more than an hour before… 

They had no idea what he was gonna do. 

To their surprise, he was chuckling, not like he usually did— not with that — edge of maliciousness that reminded you why you couldn’t trust him. It was genuine, and weirder yet, he smiled at them. 

“Hey, need a hand?” He cheesed, quirking a brow. 

Y/n felt their bones nearly crack just at the sound of his voice, and found themself kicking at his plastron scrambling to put distance between them. Whatever manipulation tactic he was trying this time, it wouldn’t work on them. 

They gave him a terrified look, their eyes narrowing slightly as they braced for whatever he had planned. “Get away from me!” They yelled, baring their teeth. They had no way to fight back, and yet couldn’t stop the angry tears that piled in their eyes. 

“Woah— woah..” Leo seemed to shrink, making himself smaller as he showed his empty hands, keeping them where you could see them. “I know I look a little different but I assure you I have no intention to harm you..!” He gave a small laugh, as if he’d never seen this visceral of a reaction before. 

“That’s what you said last time!!” Y/n practically shrieked, hands up in defense to cover their face, that cold blooded liar would have to kill them before they allowed him to take them back to the lair. 

“Last time..?” Leo’s hands sunk a little, brows furrowing in curiosity. He’d never met this person before… 

Right..? 

—

THATS IT THERE YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED 😔😔😔😔😔😔 

Bonus: 

the art I made on a whim that inspired this

anyways.. Tell me if you want more of this silly lil au or something 😒😒

[lazerv4]

Thoughts on Dragon Age: Inquisition [REPLAY]

Just my raw thoughts not a review or anything

Coming back to Inquisition after 10 years now, is like seeing an old friend that you truly didn’t realize how much they really cared until now that they’ve been gone for a while.

I loved my time revisiting the third entry in Dragon Age especially after last year’s Baldur's Gate 3 and the release this year of Dragon Age: The Veilguard in a few months.

Besides a few issues with the ambition of the story not quite being able to be realized at the time the game is incredibly fun, charming, epic, funny and honestly kind of ahead of it’s time like it’s series tends to be.

First speaking for the gameplay I played a rogue who specialized in assassination, which was incredibly fun a had an entertaining loop once I got my build finalized because man it took a bit to get to the good stuff and I’m not sure if I would have the patience if I already didn’t love the game which is a big slight issue that while the game eventually solved took way too long. The open worlds are all nice, fun and expansive if you remember that not all of them are gigantic and the hinterlands is a go back to every so often kind of place instead of staying there forever like many did. The combat flows well with the level design for the most part having areas that are open and easy to maneuver through however the prowess of the engine holds back some scenes trying to create a large scale that can’t be fully realized since the engine can’t hold that many enemies on screen even with a ludicrously over specs PC like most gaming PCs would be today. However even when the game itself can’t realize the massive world and scale of everything going on the story pulls through and does the heavy lifting. The main plot itself is rather simple, it follow your created character becoming the Inquisitor and expanding your influence to slowly figure out who killed the Divine and created a rift in the sky which eventually turns out to be a returning Corypheus from Dragon Age 2 and then you uncover a lot more things about him, the nature of dark spawn and the mysteries of Thedas as you work to beat Corypheus once and for all. The 3 DLC are 2 main story expansion and an epilogue, the first being Jaws of Hakkon which expands the world into previously uncharted lands further making the world of Thedas feel alive and well thought out as you interact with the Avvar people who basically share nothing besides their species and language with the rest of Thedas as well as uncovering the secrets of the first inquisition in what feels like a fantasy Indiana Jones jungle adventure at times just being incredibly satisfying. Next was The Descent which expands even further into Dwarves and the Deep Roads finally making them feel as cool as the series has always wanted you to think they were, the plot is a simple go down and explore what is causing sudden earthquakes and the resolution to it while leaving you with a bunch of new questions expands on dwarves in fascinating ways that I hope The Veilguard explores more through Harding. Finally you get to quite possibly one of the greatest pieces of DLC ever made with Tresspacer, the third and final story expansion set 2 years after the events of the campaign where an Exalted Council is held by your current Divine to see the future of the Inquisition post Breach and political pressure from both Orlais and Ferelden as a Qunari invasion starts within Eluvia Mirrors (teleporters to a different dimension) as you slowly uncover the mystery old the olden elven gods and why Solas left after the defeat of Corypheus then learning that he is in fact the Dread Wolf, the legendary trickster god who defied the gods and imprisoned or killed them as your mark which turns out to be his doing starts to slowly kill you. Trespasser alone is worth getting into Inquisition with how fantastic it’s quality is, I cannot stress enough how cool of an epilogue plot it is and how it’s unlikely anyone will quite be able to do it like they did.

Inquisition as a whole package is incredible with how it weaves a story spanning the entire continent through it’s side quest and DLC and a pretty fun fantasy story in it’s main plot as you live and breath along with everything in Thedas in a medium that is inherently the best at making worlds feel lived in. Few do it like Dragon Age and none do it better, Skyrim gets a lot of props for being “immersive” but that is only true superficially, if you truly wanna see what a believable world is then go ahead and give not only Inquisition a chance but also the entire series including material outside the games, it’s all great and you get to visit so many places that you basically come to know Thedas as if it was a place you’ve actually lived in. I wish I could write more about how great this game and experience was but I feel like The Veilguard will cover some territory that I want to mention here so I will save it all for that.

[quibbs126]

This is the other kid I wanted to do today, her name is Wild Pepper Cookie

So originally, her name was Dark Pepper, in reference to black pepper, which is what’s used in pepper shakers, and that’s what Werewolf has in his dough (this was before Peppercorn came out), and of course, the Dark part is there because Dark Choco. But at some point I changed it to Wild Pepper, though I don’t remember why, and I guess it just stuck or sounded better (though now that I think about it, Dark Pepper could still work fine)

I’ll just show black pepper:

Anyways, so I had always planned on making her hair short and black but putting the little pepper bits in, and that’s what I did. I also wanted to give her a big fluffy cape, like Werewolf and Dark Cacao, but I don’t think I made it fluffy enough

As for the purple eyes, to be honest I just didn’t want to make her eyes red, since I feel like I do that too often with my Dark Choco fankids. But giving her blue eyes would make her look too much like Werewolf, so I made them purple, though not the same dark purple as Dark Cacao

I’ll be honest, other than the dark parts of the colors, I just sort of slapped something together with her outfit. I asked my friend for advice on the colors, but she’s halfway around the world right now and it’ll be a while before she responds, and I thought the colors looked fine enough, so I just decided to post as is. Though if she gives me better ideas I’ll edit this with new colors

And honestly, same goes for the outfit outside of the cape, I just sort of threw something together

I swear, that’s my biggest problem with these guys, I never know what to make them wear, and I usually come up with something I don’t find that great

Anyways, so why don’t we just talk about Wild Pepper?

So she’s a little girl living with her dads. I imagine they’re living around the woods or something, as they just want a quiet life. She loves to explore the woods and find bugs, as shown in the sketch, often watching them and playing with little animals she finds. She usually comes home a mess from her explorations, but it’s all good. She’s a very friendly and energetic child, and she’d probably ask a lot of questions to random strangers she meets. She’ll also help out around the house if need be. Her parents love her very much

Anyways, so I’m sure you can see in one of the sketches, she has a wolf form as well, however it’s more of a shadow than a normal wolf. I basically was trying to mix together Werewolf’s wolf form and Berserk Dark Cacao. When she first did this, it definitely scared her parents, as they weren’t sure what would happen. Though fortunately, she’s relatively harmless like this, just a big shadow pupper. I think she turns like this when she sneezes, but I might change that. I was also considering the idea she can teleport short distances in the form, but I’m not sure why or if I’ll keep that. But I want her to have shadow-y powers

Also as you can see, I don’t know how to design werewolves. Her design will probably change

But also, speaking of her wolf form, I had the idea that while it’s harmless now, as she grows older, the form only grows stronger, gaining lightning powers as well over time (also, her shadow eyes eventually shift to red instead of white). Not only that, but the form grows huge, much bigger than Werewolf’s ever got. And over time, as it grows stronger, she has less control over it until one day she loses control and basically goes berserk. Though if I’m being honest, I’m not sure I want to keep it. I like the idea in principle, but also I feel like the culmination is just too similar to Werewolf’s whole backstory, and she’ll just be another him

But yeah, I think that’s all I got for her, I hope you like her!

[alovelyburn]

Rambles about the Millenium Falcon Arc Part 5

...long time no see. 

I actually did start writing this a month ago, but it took a bit to get my brain back in the right place after so long away. BUT I’M BACK hi.

Rambles about the Millenium Falcon Arc Part 5

Even though I do think Isidro is meant to evoke Guts he’s obviously not a 1-to-1 comparison, like he’s much more of a chaos imp than Guts ever was. Also he’s scrawny – I do wonder if he should focus more on ranged combat given how good he is with missile attacks. This doesn’t matter at all, but I’m warming up, lmao.

One of the things Miura talked about when he discussed the reason for the reaction for whatever such and such a character was this idea of designing characters to bring out different shades of Guts in order to make him a more multidimensional character. I think this is something he really excelled at – it’s interesting to see his more mentorly side coming out, not to mention the difference between the way Guts treats Isidro and, say, the way Gambino treated him does highlight Guts’ generally better... nature. 

And that’s interesting because I’ve talked a lot before about how post-Eclipse (and pre-meeting Griffith) Guts had taken on a lot of Gambino’s traits and attitudes... which is arguably not the best way to navigate the world. But that’s a side of him that comes out mostly when he’s alone and frustrated – when he’s a kid on the road, for example, or after the Eclipse but before meeting Puck. Which is to say, it’s a self-defense mechanism for when he feels lost or angry and lonely without a lot of outlet. When he has people around he chills out considerably, which makes his attempts at being a lone wolf feel a little self-destructive. 

I just love how Guts is completely disinterested unless there’s some kind of fight involved. More than that, though, as a pretty straightforward person I suppose he doesn’t have a lot of interest in interacting with people who are wearing a civil mask and carrying ulterior motives.

As for Serpico, it must be odd watching her change so quickly and so completely. This is the beginning of a longer subplot with him watching being weirded out by it and I guess kind of jealous and kind of saddened that Guts and their companions were able to change Farnese in ways he was unable to and thus make her a much healthier and less troubled person.

Okay so as a sidenote, I do really get tired of this. I understand that Casca and Farnese are the most helpless in the group, but the thing where they are constantly the ones targeted for danger is a little meh. You could argue that in the case of trolls it makes sense – given what we later learn about their actions and breeding habits – but it’s still repetitive because they end up being swept up and pulled into troll haven or whatever together again in the future, so like maybe a different plot point? Like the trolls’ presence could have been announced with a battle scene and then Casca and Farnese could have been separated from the group later without eliciting a kind of “oh this again?” type of response, I’m just saying. 

Anyway, you know the deal, me and fight scenes are like, eh.

The introduction of magic definitely changed the tone of Berserk. Miura did mention that he made it difficult to manage and slow to start up for balance reasons, and I do think the balance has been largely maintained but it obviously did change the scale of the series and the battles – same with the Berserker armor, for example. This isn’t actually a problem for me in theory but I think the one thing I wish he had done is... I guess better foreshadow the existence of all these things, right? 

Like I don’t expect him to have witches in the BSM arc for example – he hadn’t even thought of it yet, he didn’t even know what the main conflict of the story would be until volume 3. But it would have been cool to have more of a buildup leading into Flora and Schierke’s introduction. 

Anyway it doesn’t bother me that much, it’s more like the existence of the Hawk prophecies – a missed opportunity that was probably missed just because he hadn’t thought of it yet.

I wonder if Ivalera is going to like, make more of an impact on me during this readthrough. Because honestly, this is volume 24 right? She’s been with them for almost 20 volumes, and I never remember that she exists.

Ah, Schierke. It’s almost fitting that the kind of lighter/less grim tone came in with her because the anime vibes kind of did, too – green hair and all that. I should clarify that I don’t actually mind the lighter tone or the magic or anything, I just think it’s interesting how quickly Berserk went from like grim gritty low fantasy that borders on horror to like epic fantasy adventures. This arc is kind of a transitional point since the trolls are very old Berserk, but obviously the introduction of Schierke and Ivalera really bridge into new Berserk.

Okay this is a little bit of a tangent, but it’s something I was just thinking about today. 

So Casca is, for me, uhh... so many a series has a character in it that’s like a major part of the story but you just can’t warm to them and kinda wish they weren’t there because they feel kind of like baggage. That’s how I feel about Post-Eclipse Casca. Like during the Golden Age she served a narrative purpose right, she’s a foil for Guts and then his love interest and then one of his greatest losses. Cool. 

Post-Eclipse though I’m just not sure. Don’t get me wrong, I know she’s involved in the story, like half the story is about getting her to Elfhelm. But – and im not sure whether I can articulate this properly but I’m trying – I feel like even though the story revolves around her, she is nonetheless an extra appendage to the plot. She’s a MacGuffin. Her existence causes people to run around trying to do things but she herself is not involved in those things or even really important to them and there’s no purpose she serves in the story that couldn’t be served by something else without much of a change to the core of the plot. 

Guts could get to Conviction any way – he could just go there because of the revelation from Griffith, he could get dragged there by Farnese and then escape, he could just be led there by fate – there’s nothing inherent to the Conviction arc that requires him to be chasing Casca. You could say her biggest contribution to the plot post-Eclipse is as a Griffith-obsession-meter, like if he doesn’t care about her, then he’s in full Griffith-fixation mode, and if he’s focused on protecting her, his Griffith obsession is waning. 

I don’t know. There is a large part of the fanbase (most of it in the English speaker quarter, in fact) that perceives her as the third protagonist and really puts a narrative weight on her but I honestly think it’s mostly headcanon and cope, lmao. She’s a MacGuffin. 

Anyway the reason this section kinda set me off on it is because Casca gets kidnapped or spirited off to Trollhaven twice in this one arc, and she was sexually assaulted twice since Conviction, and she was sexually assaulted and pushed around and used as a MacGuffin for most of Conviction and while this is somewhat true of Farnese as well at this point (the troll thing anyway)... Farnese then becomes a much more formidable person under her own power whereas Casca languishes, gets her memory back, has multiple unconsciousness-inducing flashbacks and then gets kidnapped. 

Hmm, I guess the gist of this rant is just “Casca is a character Miura randomly decided to hook up with Guts for drama and then kept around so that Guts would stay mad, and it shows.” 

And of course it helps that Casca ends up spending more time with Farnese than Guts so that relationship isn’t’ really emphasized very much outside of a “what is she to you? Oooohh I think I know....” comment every like 8 real world years. 

Anyway if she turns out to be crucial in a way that is unique to her later, I’ll be relieved but for now I’m eh.

/rant mode off

So one of the things I really enjoy about Berserk is this feeling that Griffith’s presence, or even the promise of his arrival, inherently changes the world. Before the Eclipse, apostles became more active, and after it they were obviously more present than they had bene before. And after Griffith’s reincarnation, the barrier between the physical and the astral planes start to blur a bit, bringing the monsters out and strengthening the magical gifts of people like Sonia. His presence is such that he changes the world simply by being there... in various ways. Obviously things like bringing the trolls into the world aren’t great, lmao.

And, of course, Guts understands what’s going on even if no one else does yet.

Establishment shot! I’m sort of fascinated by Flora’s mansion if only because it doesn’t actually exist in the physical world.

Now that I’ve gone into that whole rant about Casca, I will take a moment to say it’d be cool if there turned out to be a reason she randomly went digging in the golem – an instinct through her connection to the Moonkid/Griffith, maybe, or just an instinct in general. It’s not something I expect to come up, to be clear – she’s probably just being a curious child since she’s mentally a toddler. But you know, wishful thinking.

This image really sent me off on a death spiral into one of my more obscure theories, which I’m not going to talk about because I hate being wrong about things I’m not ready to be wrong about. But anyway I did look a bit into the meaning of the pentagram which told me... first of all that the use of the pentagram seems to precede any of the meanings we know to ascribe to it, which make sense. But also, that the points of the pentagram represent either the wounds of Christ, the senses, or five elements.

This sent me into a rabbit hole of reading up on elements as understood in different cultures. What I found interesting was like, it seems most places (most) have the same four elements we still talk about today at least to some degree (like it might be wind instead of air, but you know), but there’s sometimes a fifth thing – spirit or heart, for example, in the case of neoplatonic elements, or void/emptiness for Japanese philosophy. 

And then I thought about the way Miura liked to combine the philosophies and religious tenants from different cultures instead of trying to fully replicate a specific perspective in his work. Rather the cosmology of Berserk is a little bit of everything, you know? Which made me think... considering the fifth element in Berserk’s world to be Spirit or Emptiness works very well with the way Berserk is set up but it also tends to imply that there’s a fifth elemental lord, unless the joke is that the element is emptiness so the spot for the lord is empty. I’ll probably yada yada more about this when I get to Schierke’s spell in the village because she does say something interesting that I think bears commentary. 

But the way Miura repeatedly put the pentagram in a prominent position  - even having a whole panel that was nothing but the pentagram, strikes me as interesting and significant.

But one of the things is this: I believe that all religions in Berserk are faces for the same underlying powers – IoE and the Godhand (and perhaps some other servants who fulfill different functions but we don’t know about that). It explains why the old Godhand look like ancient gods, and it explains why Flora triggers Guts’ brand, which is supposed to react to demonic power. Because in the end, she’s still drawing from the same well but in a different way.

Guts being polite as usual, lmao.

It’s interesting that Flora seems to know she’s going to die soon. I know that you could interpret it as her knowing that she is just getting too old and weak, but considering she tells Schierke that they’ll meet again, which refers to the Casca’s Mindscape sequence 30+ volumes later, I assume she has some kind of plug into the future, albeit in a limited way. Skull Knight seems to be similar.

After this Guts says, “It’ll protect against that” with the image of his beast self raping/killing Casca. Which makes me think this scene fuels people’s assertion that he was possessed when he did that, which he wasn’t. But I do think the possessions prior kind of kicked him in that direction and he was unable to extricate himself from it until he was made violently aware of his own dark side and how dangerous it was. 

Okay so now we’re going to talk worldbuilding, its my favorite thing.

Bringing this back.

 Okay so, I’m just going to break this down into a form I can better reference, rofl.

The Astral plane is, as Griffith would say, where they become one – the afterlife, and also the home of supernatural forces and beings. When someone senses/believes in something that is technically part of the astral world hard enough the thing becomes visible in the physical world, which is why elves have become recognized in the physical world. Later we’ll find out that the astral world’s... stuff used to be a much greater part of the physical world but started disappearing from the physical realm as people drifted from the perspectives that allowed them to be perceived, which continues right up until Griffith brings them back together. 

Then the Realm of Idea (the graphic misnames it) is... it kind of reminds me of the concept of the Root in the Fate franchise (and also several actual world religions nevermind that though). The origin of all existence, the blueprint of reality. 

And subrealms: 

Physical Realm – where people usually are. 

Interstice – a shallow level of the Astral Plane that mostly just looks like the physical realm. This is where Guts and Casca are because of the brand. Also where things like ghosts come from when they haven’t realized or accepted their deaths and headed back to the Vortex. 

Nexus – a deeper part of the Astral and the space opened by the Behelit/location of the Sacrifice ceremonies. This is interesting to me because Miura once said that in order to injure an astral body, the person trying to injure them has to be in the astral plane as well. Which brings to mind the arguments over whether the Godhand can actually be hurt – people say they must be mortal to some degree because they protect their bodies – e.g Void deflects Skull Knight’s blow and the only time Femto ever defends himself vs Guts is during the BSM arc when the Slug Count uses the behelit to bring the Godhand out.  But it makes sense that they defend themselves during Eclipses or Sacrifice ceremonies because during those moments, the entire area is sucked into the Nexus, which means they can be injured in ways they cant be if they’re just walking around on the physical world. Thus, for example, the impossibility of injuring Griffith in the physical world. 

The Vortex – A deeper level of the Astral Plane where the megapowers are, e.g. the Godhand, the Element Kings etc. The sea god from the pirate arc, like that. 

The Abyss – where the Idea of Evil hangs out.

This page is often cited as proof that there is a heaven and hell, but Flora really is just engaging in conjecture. That said, it does seem like there are places that are more or less pleasant within the astral plane, at least on lower levels like the Interstice, so I suppose its possible that they exist in the Vortex as well. This is one of the areas where I’m the most conflicted because there’s a pretty strong indication that post-death humans lose their sense of self and join the sea of souls where no one has any individuality or identity, but there’s also this comment about karma and such. Plus we do know that some humans do not just melt into the  vortex because Flora herself instead became a Daimon although we don’t find that out for a long time. 

Right now, I’m sort of operating with the idea that post-death a person retains a sense of self for a certain period of time, during which their experience is dictated by their karma, before they eventually break apart and join the sea. But that’s just a fan wank it’s really an unknown at this time.

This comment is interesting because it brings to mind Schierke’s later comment that the four elemental kings are the same beings that are named in scripture as the four cardinal angels of God. As I said earlier, all religions are one religion.

What did I say the other day? Even witches refer to Griffith as an angel. This kind of burns my bum because people focus on the demon thing very strongly and tend to either ignore the other side of them or suggest that they’re not really angels but are pretending to be – I think Guts even suggests that at one point. But Guts is biased and Flora would know better than he does.

Not for nothing but Guts is being stupid here. Not too surprising, but like what is he going to do, summon them and launch himself at them? They’d crush him like a bug without moving. Come on, man. 

But in all seriousness, Guts’ absolute faith in his ability to find a way to win is one of my favorite things about him, but it’s also what leads to him having a mental breakdown when he cant hit Griffith later. I don’t think he’s ever considered the possibility that there’s something he can’t fight his way through. 

This also confirms, btw, that Guts hasn’t given up on revenge just put it on hold until he can get Casca to Elfhelm. Otherwise why would he still be trying to figure out how to get at the Godhand? It’s also the best indication that he isn’t only angry at Griffith but at the entire group of them. I assume it’s not dissimilar to the way Skull Knight runs straight at Void if he’s there, but he wont turn down an opportunity to throw a blow at any of them.

So, one of the things that fuels speculation that Casca might be destined to use that Behelit is that... when it comes out, and they’re talking about it, she seems to be drawn to it for no real reason, right, like she just comes walking toward them making interested noises and Farnese has to pull her away. 

The obvious counter would be that she comes out because Flora is about to talk about her and Guts’ mission to protect her, but she didn’t really need to be there for that – people talk about Casca and Guts’ relationship or his intentions with regards to her without her being there all the time. 

It’s interesting. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything, but given Miura’s ways it wouldn’t surprise me if it did.

He didn’t listen when Godot told him this before, no way he’s listening now. 

But really she doesn’t seem to be trying to tell him to give it up, which doesn’t surprise me – she’s a friend of Skull Knight’s, so I’m sure she understands how pointless arguing with someone in this situation can be.

“The fate associated with it rests in the hands of its master who sent it.” I assume that’s IoE but it does highlight the fact that Slan seemed to be able to affect its reaction/availability to Guts.

When I try to figure out who the behelit might belong to, though, I admit I have a kind of difficult time imagining who it could be aside from Casca or Guts. If it’s Guts, then I would expect it’s there for him to ultimately resist, thus finally breaking the chains of fate that he’s been fighting but accidentally getting further caught in for years. If it’s Casca, on the other hand, I think that ends badly for her. There’s a small chance that such an option could appear for her to give her the chance to turn it down as well, but I’m not sure I believe that she has it in her. 

I also can’t think of anyone else that the behelit would really fit in a way that advances the story/moves toward the fulfillment of the narrative promise, really. So I still think the best bet is Casca, though that doesn’t guarantee it obviously. If it’s Guts, on the other hand... well, I guess he’s craving his power right now, isn’t he? I mean in current chapters.

I feel you, Guts.

But no, I gather she means that they’re the servants of the Idea of Evil (unnamed but still), and that they’re mysteries because humans can’t go to where they are, even in astral form, thus they remain mysterious.

Okay translation rant. I wanted to make sure that “If he is the Hawk of Darkness, then he is dreadful” was actually accurate, which it is KIND OF? 

What Schierke is saying is 

あの者が黙示録に記された五番目の御使いが受肉した姿。。。闇の鷹なのだとしたら者恐るべきことです。

That person is the [incarnated form] of the fifth angel written down in the [Book of Revelation]. If (he’s) the Hawk of Darkness he is.... [dreadful] 

So a couple of things. I’m showing dictionary definitions because it’s good to show receipts, lmao. 

-The word translated as incarnation is specifically the incarnation of Christ.

-The word used for revelation is specifically the Book of Revelation, though it also means Apocalypse – Utena fans may remember it:

-Finally, the phrase translated here as “dreadful”,

So it does mean dreadful but also fearsome, formidable, like a dangerous or difficult adversary. 

So okay one thing I notice about Miura is that he liked to use ambiguous phrasing – the phrase translated as “you’re the only one who made me forget my dream” for example, also means “you’re the only one who let me forget my dream.” Similarly, the word translated as “evil” in a lot of places in Berserk also means “magic” or a supernatural force of some kind, and sometimes it makes more sense that they’d mean magic but the translation still says evil. 

I’ll be honest, I think he did it on purpose. Because for example a sentence that means both “let me forget” and “made me forget” reflects the conflict within Griffith himself about Guts’ impact on him and how it affected his goals, which were both burdensome and meant to be his most important thing. So in the discussion of which way it was intended to be read, my main thought is “both.” 

How this relates to this sentence is just this: It’s translated as dreadful which isn’t inaccurate but in the context of the discussion Schierke and Flora are having, Schierke isn’t talking about how awful and deplorable the fifth angel is, she’s talking about how Guts has to be crazy to go against him because he’s absurdly powerful. But that doesn’t mean I don’t think her statement is meant to evoke how terrifying he is, either. But even so, and this isn’t the translator’s fault because English doesn’t work the same way Japanese does, but... I can’t help thinking that just saying “dreadful” makes it sound like she’s just saying “he’s awful and deplorable” rather than that he’s a frightening opponent or person. And that doesn’t make sense because Schierke was previously shown to be sort of unsure about whether he would be the savior or (something) else. 

It’s also interesting that he doesn’t name some random prophecy but rather the biblical Book of Revelation. And that he didn’t have Schierke refer to Griffith with a normal “incarnation” or “bodied form” or whatever – because there are words for that – but rather as specifically the incarnation of Christ. It does make it very clear (VERY clear) that Griffith here is envisioned as the Berserk equivalent of a Christ-figure as predicted by the Berserk equivalent of the Bible. The fact that he’s served by, you know, apostles should also be a clue about this, but I know people like to suggest he’s an antichrist instead, but I mean... 

He’s both isn’t he? I mean I know I’ve talked about this enough but it does make sense that in a world where God is the Idea of Evil, the Christ-equivalent would be a more complicated figure as well. 

I just think it’s interesting like... Miura uses a lot of Catholic concepts and imagery in Berserk, but they don’t always mean the same thing as they do in the real-world religion. People often try to read Berserk with I guess real world Christianity in mind, and I get it because of the very obvious parallels, but I do think it’s a bit of a trap.

The thing I wonder a lot – although I guess it’s more like I think about it a lot than that I wonder about it – is the relationship between Skull Knight and Flora. Later I’ll ponder on it in greater depth but it’s interesting to me that even after seeing what happened to Gaiseric she still has this belief that fate can be countered. It’s very different than, say, Skull Knight who kind of lets slip during the death of Elfhelm that fate often cannot be overcome, but that people fight anyway because it’s just the nature of humanity to fight fate (and lose). 

Flora’s view echoes Guts’ though, from the Conviction arc when he said he doesn’t believe in causality because he and Casca were meant to die but didn’t. On the other hand... is that really true? Like, Zodd said death would come for him – a death he cannot escape. But Skull Knight was the one who implied to him (right after he left the Hawks) that he could survive it. And if you think about it, given that the demon child/moonkid became Griffith’s vessel there’s a good argument that Casca was always meant to survive, too. 

So. I know a lot of people take Flora’s word as gospel, but a lot of characters say things that contradict so they can’t all be right. Though I do think there’s a decent argument that she’s the least biased and her view possibly reflects the attitude that Miura himself brought to the table since he did say he wanted there to be hope in the story, as well.

This has nothing to do with anything but the sylph thing kind of freaks me out. I don’t think I could wear clothing that’s coated in little “living” things, eep.

And honestly, wtf is wrong with Puck? HOW DOES HE NOT KNOW THIS, HE’S FROM ELFHELM.

I have such conflicted feelings about how Farnese and Casca just got some silver shirts (and a silver knife). Because the thing is, I understand that Casca uh probably can’t trusted with a weapon right now, and that Farnese isn’t a fighter at all. But I still feel like some kind of, say, elementally empowered weapon would be helpful for Farnese at least, considering how often these two get kidnapped or spirited away or trapped in dangerous situations.

I wonder what the axe did.

This lead in to the thing where his sword is kind of magical from fighting magical things is pretty interesting to me because... for years the theory was that his sword could hurt Griffith because of that. And it seemed like a decent theory but of course is proven completely wrong on every level. Misdirection! That is, unless the “he cut a hair off of Griffith’s head” theory turns out to be true but that seems increasingly unlikely since it hasn’t come up at all.

By having the brand, Guts and Casca are basically just walking around in the afterlife all the time – at least the edges of it, so I guess they ended up in tune with the dead even though they themselves didn’t literally die. It seems the Apostles also kind of walk that line, which makes sense given their connection to “hell” or whatever. It’s kind of wild to think about the house they’re hanging around in not technically existing in a physical sense.

I mean in fairness he only left her behind once, it was just a really long time. 

Anyway, this just reminds me of the time I got that Ask from someone kind of ranting about how Guts has to be with Casca because she’s the only reason he’s still human, which was kind of stupid. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize that protecting her is a strong motivating factor for him, but obviously he was already fighting to remain human for the entire series and I also think... the path he has chosen as a defender and as someone who no longer throws his connections away is as much a part of his continued humanity as Casca herself, specifically – that’s why the Beast always tells him to ditch the whole crew not just Casca. 

Also, as I recall, Flora had some knowledge that she was going to be killed soon which... I imagine made it somewhat relieving for her to not have to explain why Casca couldn’t stay there. Also... 

It lends this bit a poignancy.

Okay so... I often wonder about the specifics of Flora and Skull Knight’s relationship... and to be more specific whether her role in his life was similar to Schierke’s role in Guts’ life. Was she his spiritual anchor before he got eaten by the darkness? If so then you could say she failed, which Schierke is also in danger of doing in current canon since Guts is losing his shit. 

There are so many things that make me sad about Miura’s passing. There’s the obvious human element in itself, but there’s also things like how he talked about doing an arc of the Skull Knight’s history, and how on the DVD for the memorial edition ova, a note came up saying things he says may no longer be applicable. I mean for obvious reasons. But does that mean we’ll never know the deal? I hope not. I want to know what Flora did that got her exiled from Elfhelm and what Skull Knight’s goal really is... I mean this is whiny because everyone has the same concerns and thoughts, but you know, just thinking.

And there it is – bringing to question whether Guts is actually acting in free will or not. Because what I get from this is that Flora asks him why he’s trying to get Guts to do certain things or go certain places, and whether it’s because he feels sympathetic or for some selfish reason, and Skull Knight is basically like, even if I didn’t personally lead him around, he may well be led by causality anyway. 

It reminds me of the guidebook noting that Skull Knight seemed to be trying to lead Guts in a certain direction.

I think Skull Knight is ultimately meant to be a cautionary tale for Guts, like... this is what he becomes if he doesn’t let go of his anger and choose his connections and humanity instead... which is not what Gaiseric did back in the day. This does kind of make me wonder to what degree I just talk myself around thinking Guts primarily relies on Casca for humanity though, because one major difference between them seems to be that Casca didn’t die but Skull Knight’s wife or whoever that was did. 

Although I guess that’s odd too because Dannan seems to be his ex in some way that isn’t wholly literal.

And this is a really interesting bit for me, because it’s Flora continuing/finishing her comment earlier about God giving them fate – the fate called encounters. So when she tells Schierke God gives us fate and we humans choose it, you can suppose that she isn’t so much talking about Schierke being destined to do such and such but rather she’s talking about Schierke having the option to accept the opportunity to know and involve herself in this story or not. 

Also, a final little thought-break – the way the witches here talk about God is interesting to me because it does seem like they buy into the “religion” of the world in a way you wouldn’t necessarily expect, right, like Flora directly references fate being sent by God. They also refer to the God Hand as angels, and later Schierke will explain that the element kings are basically biblical archangels by another name. 

And that goes back to all religions are one religion – the same elements with different names and viewed through different prisms but nonetheless the same beings. I kind of think of the different religions within Berserk’s world as... looking at something from one angle vs another angle. Like if you stand in front of something it looks one way and you can only see the front and part of the sides, whereas if you stand to the side you see its side and only part of its front and back, etc. Point being, it’s still the same thing, it’s just that different perspectives or belief systems “see” and name different parts of it. 

That thought leads me down some interesting rabbit holes with Berserk though. 

Anyway, next up, trolls.

[fanficonly]

Wenclair- Mine - Chapter 6

Day 4 of posting a chapter a day of this fanfic ...Hope y'all enjoy

Why couldn't she look away?

She was captivated by Enid's stare, consumed in her own thoughts, replaying every moment up until now in her head like she had just hit fast forward on her memories and let the scenes glide past her eyes easily.

How did she get here?

Severely injured, her saviour her roommate, every dark feeling she's ever had dissipating with a look. No. But she couldn't break away from her trance. It was exactly like being imprisoned by her visions... But worse because everything around her was actually happening and she would have to revisit this feeling later.

Why was she letting this happen?

The blonde girl was holding her tightly to keep her from slipping and meeting the callous ground beneath them and yet the disagreeable raven haired girl couldn't help but let it happen.

Why couldn't Wednesday stop looking at Enid?

Examining her features closely, noticing the small freckle by her eye, the red liquid now dried leaving a beautiful trail down her cheeks, the glint in the werewolves eyes as she stared down at her ... Almost lovingly? It should have made Wednesday sick to her stomach.

From her position she was looking up at the girl and could clearly see the tears glistening in her bright blue eyes. As much as Wednesday should have been mad and should have pushed Enid off of her and should have hated their current positioning ... She didn't. And she couldn't stop staring, willing her tears to go away.

As Enid beamed down at Wednesday, proud of herself for catching the smaller girl, eventually tears threatened to escape her eyes. She could see how much pain Wednesday was in and it caused her just as much to see her like that. Not only this but the fact that she could never tell Wednesday her true feelings towards her cause a numb ache in the back of her heart that throbbed as her eyes burned with acidic tears.

The moment she shifted and touched Wednesday changed everything for Enid. She knew how she felt about Wednesday but given the Seers emotional imbalance she knew that nothing could ever happen. So she pushed those thoughts away. She settled for friendship. And she was comfortable being Wednesday's bestfriend. But now...

God why did she have to be her mate! They're roommates. ROOMMATES. NOT LIFE MATES. And as all these thoughts swirled in Enid's brain, Wednesday finally snapped out of it, quickly pushing herself forward,a straight back, up and turned to look at Enid clearing her throat.

She didn't say anything though. She just corrected herself then faced away from her.

Thing, who had just been watching the 2 girls from the floor where he had also fallen off the shoulder he was so comfortable on, looked at them knowingly. If he could facepalm right now that's exactly what he'd be doing.

"Right" Enid followed suit awkwardly mimicking Wednesdays throat clearing and wiping her eyes frantically removing any evidence of tears.

Enid moved again to pick up Wednesday which cause the girl to scold

"Enid. Don't even-" she began to protest but before Wednesday could argue Enid had picked her up bridal style and continued on to there dorm saying "Listen I respect your wishes to never allow me physical contact in everyday life but these are extraneous circumstances Wednesday" she explained to her as she walked. Thing jumped onto the back of Enid and crawled back to his designated spot on her shoulder.

'Wow' Wednesday thought to herself 'I didn't realise her vocabulary exceeded LOL and Supes Cool' unfortunately she didn't have enough energy to make the sarcastic remark so instead she conceded.

Wednesday huffed with an irritating sigh but ultimately submitted to the wolfs wishes considering her last attempt at walking brought about some really REALLY questionable emotions in her cold black heart, she could deal with it for now.

Enid smiled looking down at her girl as- her bestfriend BESTFRIEND! She yelled in her head watching as Wednesday closed her eyes and sunk deeply into her chest, letting her eyes flutter shut.

She felt safe with Enid.

She didn't like it.

But she did.

"Tell anyone about this and you'll no longer have a tail" she mumbled into the blonde girl's chest, unaware that this threat did not faze Enid one bit, in fact it just made her smile even more. She continued forwarded attempting to settle her own breathing at the sight of Wednesday in her arms.

....

"Wednesday you gotta stay awake" Enid shook her lightly as she started walking faster through the corridors. After no movement from the dark haired girl she looked down

"Addams open your eyes!" She whisper yelled so as not to alert anyone of their current situation earning a groan from her.

Enid kicked open the door with the heel of her foot and backed into the room still holding Wednesday securely. She hastily paced towards her bed and placed the injured girl down watching as her raven hair draped across her face slightly.

She then rushed to get her first aid kit. When she returned she saw Wednesday trying to get up once again.

"Woah wooooah" Enid rushed towards her, gauze in hand and a hot water bucket in the other. She placed them on the floor before grabbing Wednesdays shoulders.

"I suggest if you want to keep your claws Enid you let go of me" she threatened but what should have been a harsh spit came out as more of a slurred sentence.

"Wow this is the appreciation I get from saving your life" Enid raised her hands in defeat rather annoyed that Wednesday even had enough energy to be so...so... So Wednesday right now. She just carried her across the entirety of the school and up many flights of stairs for this.

Seeing things were about to get out of hand, Thing left to give the girls some privacy, confident in Enids abilities to take care of his family.

Now without a talkative witness like Thing around Wednesday had to admit she wasn't showing enough gratitude but she had lost a lot of blood so everything was fuzzy, her head felt dizzy and then she just ...

"I'm sorry you're right" she apologised. Enid was taken aback. A minute ago she was ready to yell at the dying girl in front of her but she just received an apology from her. A heartfelt, meaningful apology from WEDNESDAY ADDAMS.

"Wait a minute." She let out a breathy laugh to herself " An apology from Miss Wednesday Addams well I nev-"

Enids dramatic acting was cut short of course by a sharp " Don't push it." Coming abruptly from Wednesday herself.

"Right. Sorry" Enid looked down like a child being scolded by thier teacher.

"I was only trying to move because you have placed me on the incorrect bed Enid" She spoke assertively this time trying to sit up further.

"No I haven't. Your side of the room still creeps me out and if I'm going to nurse you back to health I need to be in my safe space" she gestured across her side of the room.

"You're going to what?" Wednesdays eyes widen but it was becoming increasingly more difficult to keep up her apathetic personna

"You heard me" she picked up her supplies " Now" she spoke " Take your top off" she spoke,weirdly unfazed by what she had just said

"Excuse me?" Wednesday raise her eyebrows and tilted her head down to glare at the werewolf girl

Enids eyes went wide " I -I - err -I just mean" she stammered over her words the sheer panic flooding her body. " I need to- we" she hadn't even realised what she had said. She just needed to clean and bandage Wednesday wounds and she got into nurse mode. But this.... There's no going back "urgh!" She became frustrated with herself "Sorry don't-"

"Relax Enid" Wednesday spoke softly which was rather out of character. "As much as I hate to admit it" she repositioned herself and groaned once again from the stinging sensation that expanded from her open wound.

"I am extremely injured at this present moment" she gestured to herself and promptly put back on her expressionless face "And if I have to remove my clothing for you to help then I will do as instructed but please do not make a big deal out of this Enid " she finished and began taking off her blazer. "And sound less like you're speaking to a child, I am far too advanced to be spoken to in that tone" she added forcefully.

At first Enid was bewildered once more but after hearing a low grunt come from Wednesday she stood quickly to help pull her arm out of the jacket.

"I'm not a child" Wednesday complained.

"No but like you said you're injured" Enid said " So stop complaining" she told her. When Wednesday glared up at her she giggled nervously " Please?" She changed her tone, gritting her teeth.

She took Wednesday looking away and staying silent as a reluctant okay and removed the jacket, then she began to unbutton her shirt and Wednesday flinched in pain from the fabric brushing across her clawed hip.

"Fuck" she groaned laying back on the bed "If you didn't already I'm going to execute that creature" she stated angrily moving to quickly removed the shirt before she could feel the sting again.

Enid felt rather flustered at this point. Hearing Wednesday curse and having her currently laid down on her bed in nothing but a skirt and bra. She could hear her Mother's disdainful words in her own head.

Push away the deviant thoughts, close your eyes, she's hurt, she's in pain, she needs me Enid repeated to herself.

The wolf inside her jumped with excitement but Enid just shook her head disapprovingly "perv" she mumbled under her breath before grabbing the cloth and rinsing the warm water out, ready to clean Wednesday up.

[broken-clover]

ooooh you've awakened my Steven Moffat DW pet peeve. usually he's fine but my major annoyance with his episodes, and MUCH WORSE in Sherlock where he had more creative control, is his obsession with having EVERYTHING fit into the overarching plot. Everything. Nothing is random nothing is natural its all part of the Big Plan That Will Surely Pay Off Amazingly. it's just so exhausting and takes the kick out of individual episodes because you can't focus on the actual stories there because Stevey is too busy drawing your attention to his ever growing cork board of a plot. like, jesus man WHY would Moriarty give half a wet shit about some random murdering taxi cab driver. Where does that fit in Steve. Bad Wolf worked ONCE Steve. Once.

Hoo boy. The short-form format of that post didn't let me go into detail but coming back to this series a lot of his episodes are so much worse than I remember them being.

And I'm glad you said that! Because it fits into another issue I didn't even bring up. Why is there such a weird fixation on who exactly is 'most important' to the doctor? Because it feels like that comes up so much in the Moffat era. The Ponds are important by being in-laws. River is important because of the weird timeline fuckery and them getting married once. Later Clara is treated as the most important person in his life because of more timeline fuckery. There's a point where it gets dull going 'but then *this* bond with *this* woman was even more deep and complex and unshakable than the last one, really!' multiple times. Characters can't just 'be,' they have to connect to him on a deeper level somehow. It's never just happening to bump into someone, there's always some time and space fate bullshit that pops up.

(And see, while 'The Doctor's Wife' was absolutely full of that as well, that's the one example where it *does* work, because it centers around the one character that's literally been at his side for the entire goddamn series)

One of the things that was fun about the RTD seasons, especially about the companions and recurring characters, was that there was nothing fundamentally special about most of them. Any specialness came from traveling and growing as as person and then doing something courageous based on that growth. Characters came and went and it was sad, but the doctor was a temporary part of their life in the same way that he was to theirs, not the main focal fixture of their existence that made it meaningful. The act of interacting with others added to the richness and sense of understand in one's own life. It feels weird to say in such silly phrasing but it felt like a lot of the first four seasons were simply about the power of friendship on a massive, cosmic scale

Yeesh and yep that's not even getting into the man's complexity addiction. Having an overarching narrative isn't inherently bad but I felt like hopping from season 4 to season 5 was like going from a show where most of the episodes could be watched as desired with a bit of seasonwide narrative to literally having to watch every episode in the designated order without fail unless you wanted to be completely lost. The plot-heavy episodes can be fun but when that's most of the season it becomes a bit harder to digest. It just feels a bit like it's taking itself too seriously

Also. Did I mention the horny? Can't remember if I mentioned the horny.

[b3ndy]

How I feel about batim characters - A big, long post

Welcome !! This is just a huge rant about how I feel about certain characters from my source, being Bendy himself.

DISCLAIMERS- If the character isn't here I either forgot or have no opinion. I'm a psychological fictionkin with no memories but I do get general feelings, such as how I view them or feelings of "I feel like you did or are this". For the "other" section - All "hate" is a very kin exclussive feeling and I as a person don't really feel hateful towards them. It's more goofy and lighthearted if anything. If you are a sourcemate, hello !! These are all feelings towards the official and canon (or book) versions of these characters characters and not attacks against you or any fictionfolk you may know. Thank you for reading !!

Toons

Boris - One of my best friends !! He makes me feel happy whenever I see or think about him. By golly would I hug and pet this wolf so much, we'd do a lot together and go on adventures so often.

Alice - My other best friend !! She also makes me feel happy. She's definitely the smarts of the trio, less hugging and more shaking me by the shoulders when I goof up (it wouldn't hurt and it's out of platonic love). Think of how she is in the comics with me !!

The Butcher gang - They see me as enemies but I don't really !! I don't feel much towards them. I'd just love being so nice and kind to them despite how much Barely and Charley want me pummeled pffh.

Other toon/comic folk - Not much feelings towards most. It would be nice to share a pie with Ruby Goldberg though, and maybe mess and steal from the rich Boswell Lotsabucks a bit !! I don't remember most the guys honestly but those two are fun to interact with.

People

Joey Drew - My father,,, seeing and thinking of him makes me feel comfortable and safe. I'm aware of how he treats me in canon but it's hard to feel negatively about him, I tend to sympathise and empathise with him a lot. I usually imagine his memory-self as that's the man I feel I knew, and I know this version of him is truly benign. Felt really heavy when I first saw his grave in game,,,

Henry Stein - My other fatherr,,, created my toon form. I feel less strongly with him but he still does feel comfortable and I feel we'd get along really well,,, I do imagine his cycle clone usually but both him and his original self are equal to me, even if seperate people.

Sammy Lawrence - Honestly ? I think I've come to realise he's a bit of a "blorbo" to me. I feel like,,, almost giddy about this guy in that sense pffh. I want to treat him like a cat toy (bite, scratch, gnaw and sleep curled up with him) but I also wanna pet him on the head and be like hheheh you're silly,,, silly man,,, and he'd probably like both. Even before his ink-mania I still feel similarly

Wilson Arch - Cruel terrible abusive dictator. I may not feel that strongly about him but what I do feel is like. Not good generally. I often find humour in making fun of him in so many ways and I feel like it would be On Sight if I ever saw him for what he did.

Nathan Arch - He feels like a goofy nice uncle. Thinking and seeing him makes me feel like a kid being handed a dollar from his grandpa pffh. I kinda see it as like. He adopted me after Joey's passing and provides for me instead now. The red bowtie he gave me signifies that change but I still usually wear the other,,, in rememberance and connection to what came before archgate. I imagine I'd wear the red one only in archgate produced shorts.

Not quite people

Keepers - Abusive, terrible excuses for scientists. As soon as I first heard them in that elevator I knew they were dangerous and felt fear. I may not literally be the BATDR design and his toon but I do connect to the traumas described in their logs. I often get like. Feelings of them. I fear them in the dark, clothes register as potential keepers and I've had odder experiences such as feeling like they followed me home when no one did and even. A shower head registering as one ?? Incredibly odd creatures. I don't always feel strongly but when I do it is Not fun.

The Projectionist - We are cats and he is not welcome in my territory. Very much a guy I scrapfight with. I love him and his design but like,,, man,,, Fade to Black and the scene in BATIM where I suckerpunch his head. This is more of a lighthearted feeling of "I wanna tear him to shreds" if that makes sense, similar to Sammy but less domestic and more absolutely feral pfffhhh.

The BATDR ink demon and his toon form - They're a part of me, but they aren't me and I ain't them. Used to be triggered by them but less so now. I can't imagine myself interacting with them else my brain struggles to comprehend the fact I was technically replaced, plus the fact they're connected to me. Occasionally do get various types of cameos of the two though !!

Other non-batim characters ?!?? (All but cuphead feel like coworkers almost)

Mickey Mouse - Don't know why but I hate his guts. Maybe it's because everyone boils down my existence to "evil disney" ?? Be it saying it out right, comparisons or giving me his voice ??? But either way I don like the guy,,, side-eyein him.

Cuphead - He threw a ROCK at my HEAD and I ain't forgiving him for that. Next question

Others (Such as betty boop, oswald, felix the cat) - I like these guys. I feel like I'd be aquainted to them more than anything.

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic villain tier list?

From top to bottom:

Eggman: Duh.

Hard-Boiled Heavies: All five of them had more personality in a game without dialogue than Sage did with it.

Chaos: The original monster, and still the best, with clever designs for each of his forms, and an interesting backstory. My only regret is that he started The Trend.

Erazor: The best villain that's not Eggman, made by Eggman, or associated with Eggman. He's everything Mephiles wasn't, and he brought out a lot in Sonic through his antagonism and his cruel relationship with Shahra.

Metal Sonic: His robot status and identity crisis give him an edge over other dark rival characters. His design is iconic, and he works not only as Sonic's equal, but also as an extension of Eggman's evil. (OVA Metal is the best, of course.)

Captain Whisker: He's a more compelling Eggman Nega than the actual Eggman Nega. And his boss music is peak 60's Spider-Man.

Infinite: Not sure why everyone likes to single this guy out as one-note when this franchise is utterly stacked with one-note villains, some of whom are praised for it. Infinite may be simple, but at least he's fun.

Gerald: His recorded video was certainly ominous, and he does work as a tragic character, but there's a lot of questions surrounding his story that take me out a bit, and while Chaos may have started The Trend, Gerald - by using Shadow as his posthumous proxy - was the one who established it as a trend.

Black Doom: Not actually a good villain (very controversial, I know), but everything about him is hilarious, and he never gained a disproportionate fandom like certain other villains, so I can't help but enjoy him ironically.

Merlina: She could have been great in practice, but she suffers from Disney Twist VIllain Syndrome, in that once you get past the fanfare involving the twist, there's actually not a lot to her beyond that, and we don't get enough of a feel for her as her true villainous self. There may have been some mild foreshadowing, and we may have gotten a look into her sympathetic motives, but all in all, it was very undercooked, and a major reason why I don't think Black Knight's story is that amazing.

Deadly Six: I defended them for so long, and I'll still defend their original outing (at least Zavok, Zor and Zazz), but ever since IDW turned them into yet another Better Villains Than Eggman... I'm not as dedicated in doing so as I used to.

Void: He exists.

Ix: He also exists.

Eggman Nega: Either he's a redundant presence since there's nothing he does with Eggman that the doctor couldn't do on his own (Rush duology), or he's another usurper and exists only to pose as a so-called better version of the main villain of the franchise (Rivals duology). Take your pick.

Mephiles: Complete dumbass that does not live up to the suave mastermind archetype that the writers intended him to be, and what fans pretend he is. "Eggman makes mistakes too!" Yeah, but never to this level.

The End: He brought back The Trend in the games. And he boasted about being better than all the other threats Sonic has faced, like a textbook bad fancharacter. And he never shuts the fuck up. And he failed to live up to his big talk. And his fight was Perfect Dark Gaia-tier. And he's a purple bollock. I really can't think of anything redeeming about this guy (as much as I hate Mephiles, at least he had Dan Green going for him). As far as personifications of death go, I'll stick with the Dreamworks Wolf.

I didn't bother adding non-game villains since most of them would have fallen into the same "shite, lol" category. Same for the post-Chaos giant monsters.

[theharrowing]

Sun Seeker 🌞 3: We should make a habit of this

Namjoon does not do impulsive. He doesn’t understand the fuss about body modifications, and he has never considered getting one. That is, until he meets Yoongi—the prettiest man he’s ever seen, who happens to be a tattoo artist—and he can’t stop thinking about going under Yoongi’s needle to have an equally pretty design tattooed onto his skin.

🌻 Namjoon x Yoongi 🌻 word count: 16.3k 🌻 strangers to lovers, tattoo shop au, smut, fluff, slash, nsfw, 18+ 🌻  warnings: namjoon in his entirety fit with the lace and mesh shirts, smut! (dirty talk, semi-public oral sex, ass to mouth, anal fingering, frotting, teasing, anal sex, dick piercings, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, safewords, praising, pain kink exploration, semi-public anal sex), fluff! (flirting, confessions), a smidgen of angst (anxiety), getting ears pierced (brief description of needle & piercing). side taekook. 🌻 written for the Namgi World Tour Fest! 🌻 thanks to @neoneunnajimin for beta reading! 🌻 posted jan. 2023 | read on ao3

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For their third date, Namjoon wants to wear something nice—something to really knock Yoongi's socks off and make his jaw drop. It is for this reason that Namjoon has been standing in his closet with his hands in his hair, stressing the fuck out. He needs to call in reinforcements.

Namjoon Are you busy?

Namjoon is an appreciator of art, and he likes to think he knows which colors go well with others, and which do not. But putting an outfit together—color, form, material—it eludes him. He wishes he had the same eye as Taehyung. 

Tae Tae 🎁 You literally just saw me three hours ago. Obsessed, much???

Namjoon Some best friend you are.

Tae Tae 🎁 Fine, you win! What is needed of me, best friend?

Namjoon I'm stressing out about what to wear. 

Tae Tae 🎁 To the club? Wear anything.

Namjoon "Anything" to me is not the same as "anything" to you. You could wear a sheet with a belt wrapped around it, and you would look put together.

Tae Tae 🎁 That's not a bad idea...🤔

Namjoon Tae, I'm serious.

Tae Tae 🎁 Me too. I have a floral sheet that might look great with my knockoff Gucci belt.

Namjoon You're impossible.

Tae Tae 🎁 Hush, now. I'll save you. Give us 20. 

Namjoon Us?

Tae Tae 🎁 Yes, us. Jeongguk and I are a package deal now. 

Namjoon Fine. See you in 20.

"This is too much," Namjoon whines as he stares at his reflection. He looks good—damn good, if he is being honest. But he has never dressed in anything like this before, and it makes him feel nervous. 

"Nonsense!" Taehyung exclaims as he holds various silver necklaces up to Namjoon's neck and cocks his head side to side, trying to choose one. "You look fucking hot. Yoongi is going to die."

"Killing Yoongi is not the goal," Namjoon grumbles as he nibbles the inside of his lip. 

Taehyung waves Namjoon off and shakes his head, then holds the whole bunch of necklaces up as if deciding that he wants Namjoon to wear all of them. Which, Namjoon thinks, is ridiculous. Except, Taehyung drapes all of them over Namjoon's wrist—which he has taken the liberty of grabbing and positioning where he wants it—and unclasps them one by one to wrap around Namjoon's neck.

As soon as Taehyung takes a step back and studies his hard work, Namjoon has the overwhelming urge to tear at the clothing and jewelry and start over. He feels like a fraud staring at his reflection, and he hovers his palms over the yellow lace long-sleeve button-up shirt that Taehyung has left halfway unbuttoned and tucked into black jeans, which have been distressed with bleach, he assumes, leaving horizontal tan streaks down the length. But the real kicker is the white mesh shirt underneath, covered in silver sequins, which shows—in all of its somewhat sculpted glory—Namjoon's chest.

Namjoon had already felt self-conscious about the shirt upon first trying it on, and Taehyung wolf-whistling while exclaiming, "Mesh on top of big, beefy tits, what a gift," certainly did not help.

"This...isn't me," Namjoon mutters, feeling more apprehensive the longer he stares at himself.

"Nonsense," Taehyung insists, reaching around with both hands from behind Namjoon to delicately part his bangs over his forehead. Namjoon is used to Taehyung being in his personal space and fucking with his hair, and he does not flinch.

"I'm sure Jeongguk is outfitting Yoongi in just as devastating of an ensemble as we speak."

Evidently, when Taehyung informed Jeongguk that they were going to play dress-up with Namjoon, Jeongguk had the brilliant idea to dress Yoongi, claiming he also seemed pretty nervous about their date. Namjoon finds the notion of Yoongi being nervous both hard to believe and incredibly endearing. He likes the idea of Yoongi fussing over his hair and clothes, and he blushes at the thought of him getting flustered and grumbly when Jeongguk recommends something too outlandish, presuming he and Taehyung have similar ideas.

Namjoon opens his mouth to ask when they are going to finally leave for the club when a loud ping comes from Taehyung's phone, which is sitting on his bed. A smile creeps over Taehyung's lips, but he finishes what he is doing—using his pinkies to place the hairs over Namjoon's forehead just so.

"You look stunning," Taehyung beams as his hands fall to Namjoon's shoulders. "I have a jacket you can throw over this, too, so you don't walk into the club feeling instantly self-conscious."

"That's a relief," Namjoon responds, looking at his friend in the reflection, who rests his chin on the hand that sits on Namjoon's shoulder.

Taehyung is somewhat dressed down for his style, in a plain white tee tucked into mustard slacks with a thick leather belt around his waist. Draped over the edge of the bed is a black blazer covered in lilies that resemble a watercolor painting in bright reds, deep blues, and inviting greens, which he plans to wear to bring the look together. 

Namjoon puts on a black bomber jacket, but he knows that if he zips it up, Taehyung will give him hell. Still, it is pretty obvious that he is wearing two layers of see-through material, and he hopes that whatever Jeongguk has dressed Yoongi in is somehow more over the top than what Taehyung has put him in, just to ease his mind. 

His hopes are thwarted, however, when they show up to the club, only to find that Yoongi's outfit is pretty standard. 

"Great work, Gguk, but...a white tee? Really?" Taehyung mutters loud enough for everyone to hear. 

Jeongguk—dressed predictably in a black tank top tucked into black slacks that are accessorized with a chunky black leather belt—blushes as he slings a black jacket over his shoulder and gives Taehyung a forlorn expression. "He threatened to cut my mesh shirt into strips if I brought it near him."

"Hyung!" Taehyung scowls, turning his focus on Yoongi, who Namjoon realizes is staring at him with his mouth hanging open.

Yoongi blinks as if he has just been pulled from another dimension, and turns his attention to Taehyung long enough to mutter, "S-sorry, did you say something?" before returning his gaze to Namjoon, and Taehyung laughs it off, clearly giving up on complaining. 

And it is not as if Jeongguk didn't do a good job. Sure, Yoongi is in a plain white tee, but it hugs him perfectly, showing hints of the muscle beneath it, and it is tucked into the tightest black jeans Namjoon has ever seen. The ends of the jeans disappear under tall black boots, making Yoongi's already slender legs appear longer and thinner, and he wears a blue bomber jacket and a cute, black beret. 

If someone were to ask Namjoon before how he felt about the beret as a fashion accessory, he would probably have shrugged and said he had no opinion. But seeing Yoongi donning one with his pretty, overgrown dark brown hair pulled away from his face, showing off his forehead, piercings, and neck tattoo in all of their glory, Namjoon thinks that perhaps the humble beret is his favorite invention to date. 

Both Namjoon and Yoongi stare at one another while the overwhelming sights and sounds of the club blare brightly and loudly around them. Fingers snapping in Namjoon's face pull his attention to his very impatient best friend, who gives him an incredulous glare.

"Drinks?" Taehyung asks.

"Yes," Namjoon responds, incapable of thinking about anything beyond the general idea of having a drink.

"Preference?" Taehyung asks a bit more sharply.

Namjoon shakes his head. "N-no. I don't know. Just...whatever you guys have."

With a scoff, Taehyung mutters, "I'll bring you whatever Jeongguk orders for Yoongi," as he makes his way from the table to the bar. Jeongguk follows behind, leaving Namjoon and Yoongi alone, and Namjoon finally finds the ability to move his limbs in order to approach Yoongi and pull him into a hug. Woody musk and a hint of citrus fill Namjoon's nose, and he inhales deeply.

"Taehyung put you in lace," Yoongi mutters slowly as if caught in a trance. "And mesh."

Namjoon chuckles, feeling his apprehension somewhat melt away from the attention Yoongi is giving him. He responds, "I'm disappointed I don't get to see you in mesh," earning a scoff from Yoongi.

They pull out of the hug and take two seats on one side of the table, rotating their bodies to face one another. Their knees bump, and both men chuckle until they get lost in each other's eyes, and the laughter dies. 

Yoongi has a light dusting of black eye shadow outlining his eyes, and silver hoops in his ears, and Namjoon blurts out, "You are so fucking pretty," as his eyes struggle to decide where to look.

"I'm pretty?" Yoongi asks as he pushes Namjoon's jacket open to expose more lace and mesh. "You're...I mean...seriously, Joon. I feel like it's my birthday."

"Stop," Namjoon mutters, feeling self-conscious as his cheeks warm.

"I can't believe I get you all to myself later, and you come dressed like this."

"Hyung," Namjoon whines, but the thought of Yoongi running his hands over his mesh-covered pecs does excite him quite a bit. 

Yoongi raises an eyebrow and smirks. "If I didn't want our first time to be so special I would drag you into the bathroom right now."

The sound of a glass being set on the table makes both men flinch, and Namjoon turns to find Taehyung looking at them with a surprised expression, and Jeongguk pursing his lips together while he looks anywhere but at the two men seated in front of them. 

"And they say romance is dead," Taehyung chides as he sits down and slides two glasses of what appears to be whiskey to Namjoon and Yoongi. "There's quite a bit to unpack, hyung. Where to begin, where to begin?"

"Thanks for the drink, Tae," Namjoon shouts as he grabs his glass, sniffs to confirm it is whiskey, and takes a gulp. The caramel color liquid burns slightly as it coats his tongue, and he can't help but cringe as he adjusts to the flavor. 

"The bathrooms here are surprisingly clean," Taehyung continues as he sits across from Namjoon. "And the ones upstairs are individual rooms, in case you want some privacy."

"Alright, Taehyungah," Yoongi says in an annoyed grumble, despite the look of amusement that tugs at his lips. 

Jeongguk settles at the table across from Yoongi, and everyone drinks. In an attempt to change the topic, Namjoon asks Yoongi how long he has been tattooing, and Yoongi blushes as he mutters, "Since I was 15," taking him by surprise.

"It started as little stick-and-pokes, and occasionally one of my cousins would let me tattoo oranges with his equipment. When I got older, I bought a machine and apprenticed under the same cousin, and the rest was history."

"He was piercing, too," Jeongguk adds, "before I came along and freed up his schedule so he could only tattoo."

"Is that so?" Namjoon asks with a raise of his eyebrow, and Yoongi nods. 

Namjoon's eyes flit between Yoongi's eyebrow, ears and lip. "How many piercings do you have, hyung?"

Yoongi's eyes widen, and he nibbles on his lip, looking away from Namjoon. If Namjoon is not mistaken, Yoongi seems embarrassed by the question, which has Namjoon's mind absolutely racing. 

"Hyung?" Namjoon presses, nudging Yoongi with his elbow.

Yoongi picks up his drink, holds it to his lips, and mutters something under his breath before taking a drink. Unsure what he said, Namjoon leans in close, looking between a shy Yoongi, an amused Jeongguk, and a confused Taehyung. 

"What was that, hyung? I missed it."

With a loud clearing of his throat, Yoongi turns toward Namjoon, eyes looking down at the drink in his hands, and says, "Twelve."

"Twelve?" Namjoon repeats, counting the piercings he can see—two in each ear, one in his eyebrow, and one in his lip—then begins to imagine where else a piercing could be. "Interesting, because I only count six."

The dim lighting of the club paired with rainbow lights flitting all over makes it hard for Namjoon to see the blush that he imagines is turning Yoongi's cheeks a pretty shade. He curses the unfortunate circumstance, determined to tease Yoongi into spilling the beans, anyway. 

Yoongi chugs back the rest of his whiskey and stands in a rush, asking, "Anyone else need another drink?"

"Now, now," Namjoon says, reaching for Yoongi's hand and holding it tightly. "This conversation is still in full swing."

With an incredulous glare, Yoongi stares down at Namjoon. Then, with a huff, he sits. "My nipples and my belly button are pierced," he blurts out, avoiding eye contact with Namjoon, who chuckles.

"And you have two rings in each, I presume?" Namjoon asks with a smirk.

Yoongi shakes his head—small, quick movements—biting back a smile. "You presume incorrectly."

"I can't believe hyung is too shy to tell his new boyfriend that he has his dick pierced," Jeongguk blurts, making Taehyung gasp.

At this piece of information, the world comes to a screeching halt. Namjoon's mouth falls agape—brain absolutely empty of thought—and he stares at Yoongi, who shifts around in his seat, glaring at Jeongguk with a deadly look. 

Jeongguk giggles into his drink while Taehyung mutters, "Whoa, for real?"

When Namjoon continues to stare at Yoongi in a daze, Yoongi reaches over and smacks Namjoon on the arm, whining, "It's perfectly normal to have a dick piercing!"

"Is it?" Namjoon asks through a chuckle.

This time, Yoongi's mouth falls open, and he stares at Namjoon as he shifts around in his chair with a huff. "Don't shame me!"

"I'm not shaming you, hyung," Namjoon defends, "I've just never seen a dick piercing before."

"Well," Jeongguk chimes in—helpful as ever, "Technically two dick piercings and one on his balls."

"Your b—" Namjoon begins, struggling to finish the sentence. 

Yoongi's expression darkens, and he smirks playfully, asking, "Wanna see?"

Of all the things that might count as moving too quickly and possibly technically breaking the three-date rule, grabbing Yoongi by the hand and asking Taehyung exactly where the upstairs bathrooms with locking doors are located is probably high on that list. Namjoon, however, does want to see these piercings, and he takes his eyes off Yoongi only long enough to slam back his whiskey.

"Tae, where are those bathrooms?" Namjoon asks, turning back to Yoongi, whose expression is a priceless wide-eyed mix of shock and excitement. 

"Up the stairs, to the left, all the way back," Taehyung supplies.

Namjoon takes Yoongi's hand and stands, tugging Yoongi to his feet as he snakes past clubgoers who mingle near the bar. As they scale the steps, Namjoon's heart pounds heavily, aided by the thud of the bass booming too loudly in his ears. 

The upstairs bar is crowded, but to Namjoon's delight, there seems to be nobody waiting for either of the gender neutral bathrooms, and he taps the door to the nearest one open with his foot, turning on the light and pulling Yoongi inside. 

Yoongi appears out of breath as he enters the room, leaning into the door to close it behind him. As soon as Namjoon locks the door, Yoongi reaches to his neck and pulls him close, licking over his lips and groaning when Namjoon gives him access. Kissing Yoongi ignites something in Namjoon, and he crowds his space, grabbing his face gently as their tongues glide over one another. Namjoon nibbles on the metal hoop in Yoongi's lip until he whines, and when they pull out of the kiss, Namjoon lets his hands fall to Yoongi's shoulders, with his eyes on his pretty spit-slick lips. 

"Are you sure?" Yoongi asks, rubbing his hands over Namjoon's shoulders and chest.

Namjoon gently takes the collar of Yoongi's jacket in both hands and opens it just enough to reveal his pecs. Sure enough, under the white shirt, Namjoon can spot two bumps where each nipple is, indicating barbells through each one. 

"You're full of surprises," Namjoon groans, feeling dizzy from this revelation. "How did I never notice?"

"I had silicon retainers in before, so they didn't show through my clothing, and you probably wouldn't have felt them." Yoongi responds with a sly smile.

"So you put these in tonight, for me to discover?" Namjoon asks, and Yoongi grins, nodding his head. 

One of Namjoon's hands falls, and with his index finger, he rubs over Yoongi's belly until he lands on another set of metal balls. Yoongi gathers his shirt in both hands, untucking it in the front, and lifts the fabric enough for Namjoon to see a simple silver bar in his bellybutton. Namjoon swoons. 

Suddenly, the realization that Namjoon dragged Yoongi into a public bathroom to look at his dick settles over him, and he begins to feel a little foolish. He swallows a lump and studies Yoongi, who seems to pick up on his anxiety and cocks his head.

"I just pulled you into the bathroom to see your piercings without considering how nerve-wracking it might be to show them to me," Namjoon admits.

"I offered," Yoongi responds with a smirk.

"But were you serious?" Namjoon asks.

Yoongi chuckles, nibbles on his lip, then begins to slowly unbuckle his belt. "It's not like I wasn't planning on letting you see them tonight, anyway."

Suddenly, the fluorescent lighting is too bright, and the smell of cleaning products is too strong. But Namjoon does not want to be anywhere but in this small, disorienting room with Yoongi.

"Are you sure you wanna see?" Yoongi asks one more time, and Namjoon takes a deep breath as he nods and mutters, "Yes. Please."

Yoongi's belt falls open, and his mesmerizing hands go to work undoing his fly. Once his pants are undone, Namjoon sees a hint of tight, dark blue briefs, and his mouth begins to water as his stomach swoops. He is really going to see Yoongi's dick, right here in this bathroom, and he cannot come to terms with it.

"You look scared," Yoongi says as he reaches into his briefs.

Namjoon looks up at Yoongi's face, then down at his crotch, and shakes his head. "Just struggling to comprehend reality, but I am very much not scared," he mumbles. 

Yoongi chuckles, then pulls his briefs down, and Namjoon sees two of the piercings—a circular ring right where the base of his dick and his scrotum meet, and a barbell on the underside of Yoongi's length. Then, Yoongi moves his hand down, gripping his shaft loosely, and Namjoon sees the final piercing. A thick, metal ring sticks through the head of Yoongi's cock—in through the hole and out just below the crown. 

"Wow," is all Namjoon can say, not only because he has never seen pierced genitals before, but because Yoongi's cock is out in the open, slowly enlarging with blood. 

Without thinking, Namjoon drops to his knees and stares up at Yoongi, whose eyes widen as big as saucers as they follow his movement.

"Y-Yoongi-hyung," Namjoon mutters as his pulse echoes loudly in his ears. 

"Yes, Joon?"

"May I—I mean—I really want—" Namjoon swallows a lump and Yoongi chuckles. 

"What is it?"

Namjoon looks up a Yoongi through his eyelashes as he asks, "May I suck your dick?"

Yoongi huffs out a heavy breath and nods as he begins slowly stroking his length, but Namjoon reaches up and gently takes Yoongi by the wrist, stopping the movement. 

"I want to feel you get hard in my mouth," he says, smiling with delight as Yoongi lets out a quiet gasp.

Namjoon sits high on his knees and rubs his hands up and down Yoongi's thighs, feeling the slightly scratchy denim under his fingertips. Yoongi watches with a somewhat dazed expression as Namjoon with his mouth close, waiting for Yoongi to consent one more time.

"Please don't make me beg," Yoongi breathes.

Namjoon grins, then leans forward and licks a strip from the scrotal piercing, over the bar in his shaft, up to the ring in the head, gently teasing the cold, hard steel with the tip of his tongue. A deep moan leaves Yoongi's lips, and Namjoon has to hold back making a sound of his own—feeling arousal flutter from just his voice alone. 

"So after we get out of here, and you take me back to your place to fuck me," Namjoon says between flicks of his tongue over the large metal ring, "will I be able to feel these?"

"Yes," Yoongi moans.

The feeling that washes over Namjoon is intoxicating—warmth covers him from head to toe, tingling. Arousal courses through him like oxygen, and he very desperately wants Yoongi to bend him over and show him precisely how these piercings feel inside him. 

Without another word, Namjoon opens his mouth and swallows Yoongi's semi-hard length. Yoongi gasps and groans, hips trembling and jerking forward, and Namjoon breathes through the urge to gag, feeling a bit rusty after not having a cock between his lips for longer than he would care to admit—not to mention the intrusive feeling of having a metal ring hit his throat adding to the sensation. It does not take long for him to adjust, and he begins slurping and sucking, letting drool fall past his lips and make a big fucking mess as Yoongi hardens—thick and heavy on his tongue. 

"Your mouth feels incredible," Yoongi groans, gripping Namjoon by the hair and gently thrusting his hips. 

Namjoon moans as he sucks Yoongi eagerly, unconcerned about Yoongi's hips pressing him in just a little too deep. The metal barbell in Yoongi’s shaft tugs occasionally on Namjoon’s bottom lip. It doesn’t hurt, but it does feel strange enough to make him want to giggle, which he does his best to hold in. 

Outside, someone knocks on the door, and Yoongi moans, "Occupied," as his fingers tug harder on Namjoon's hair.

"You're gonna make me cum," Yoongi mutters softly, and Namjoon slowly sucks Yoongi all the way to the tip, releasing his lips long enough to say, "Good," before sinking back down.

Yoongi trembles and softly moans as he gets closer, and Namjoon sucks in his cheeks, feeling impatient and wanting to taste his release. Luckily, Namjoon's desire is granted quickly, and Yoongi grips onto his hair and gasps shaky breaths, muttering, "I'm cuming," moments before thick, salty liquid hits Namjoon's tongue and slides down his throat.

"Holy fuck," Yoongi groans as Namjoon continues to gently suck, milking him of every drop. The tugging on his hair gets harder as Yoongi whimpers, "Joon you're gonna fucking kill me,"

As Namjoon clearly stated earlier, killing Yoongi is not the goal, so he releases Yoongi's cock, sitting back on his heels while he licks his lips. Yoongi bends, takes Namjoon's cheeks in his hands and kisses him deeply, groaning as his tongue strokes over Namjoon's.

"You're insane," Yoongi mutters, letting go of Namjoon's face to tuck himself back into his pants.

"Insanely attracted to you," Namjoon responds with a grin, knowing precisely how cheesy he sounds.

"Your lips are pink and swollen, Joonie. You look like you've been sucking dick."

Namjoon chuckles and begins to stand, groaning as his legs protest after being bent against hard tile. "I can't imagine why I would look like that."

Yoongi advances, pushing Namjoon by the hips until his ass hits the sink, and their bodies are pressed together. Namjoon was too distracted by pleasuring Yoongi to worry about the erection in his jeans, but with Yoongi standing flush against his body, it is all he can think about.

"We should get out of his bathroom," Yoongi mutters, and Namjoon nods in agreement. "But your dick is hard."

Namjoon shrugs. "It's fine. I'll walk it off."

"How soon until we can get out of here so I can repay the favor?" Yoongi asks, mouth dragging across Namjoon's lips.

Namjoon hums and attempts to give it some serious thought, but his brain feels short-circuited. "One more drink?" he suggests after a moment.

"Perfect," Yoongi groans, sucking Namjoon's bottom lip gently between his teeth until Namjoon whimpers into his mouth, releasing with a deadly smile. 

People are waiting in the hallway when they exit, and Namjoon ducks his head down, avoiding eye contact as a smile tugs on his lips. He has never been with someone who would initiate, much less agree to semi-public sex, and he wonders what other exciting, experimental things he and pretty, spontaneous Yoongi might do together. 

Yoongi holds Namjoon's hand as they approach the upstairs bar and order two more glasses of whiskey, then they continue to hold hands all the way downstairs, to where their friends are waiting. Taehyung takes one look at Namjoon and gasps, and Jeongguk grins, asking, "Have fun?"

Namjoon hums and nods, and Yoongi shrugs, muttering, "I don't know what you're talking about," causing everyone, including himself, to laugh.

"How was the bathroom?" Taehyung asks.

"Clean," Namjoon says, and Yoongi hums in agreement. 

"Well, the floor was clean,” Namjoon continues. “I didn't really see anything else."

Yoongi smacks Namjoon on the arm as Taehyung and Jeongguk share a knowing glance, and Namjoon lifts his drink to his lips and smiles.

"We're gonna head out after this drink," Yoongi announces. 

Namjoon half expects Taehyung to whine about them leaving so soon, but instead, he says, "I'm surprised you came back at all. I was expecting a good night text to come through any minute."

“Wow, you really thought I would bail on you?” Namjoon teases, feigning being hurt as he takes a seat, hand still held tight by Yoongi. 

“Well, you got a tattoo, which is something I never thought you would do,” Taehyung responds incredulously. “And you…examined the bathroom floor…whatever that—I don’t want—“

Jeongguk waves Taehyung off, shushing him, and Namjoon can’t help but chuckle. He has been stepping far out of his comfort zone lately, and it feels good. 

“So,” Jeongguk says with a grin that Namjoon recognizes as pure mischief, “what do you think of hyung’s piercings?”

Taehyung flails, attempting to shush Jeongguk by holding a hand over his mouth, but the youngest is undeterred. 

“What?” Jeongguk half-shouts. “Those are my handiwork! I want to know if Namjoon-hyung thinks I did a good job!”

At this, Namjoon laughs hard, squeezing Yoongi’s hand and holding tightly to his drink so that it doesn’t spill. Tears threaten his eye line, and his chest rocks. What Jeongguk said was not even that funny, but Namjoon just feels so elated, anything might set him off. 

“You did very well, Jeonggukah,” Namjoon finally says, sneaking a glance at a very amused Yoongi. “Excellent craftsmanship.”

“Alright,” Yoongi grumbles, clearly done with the conversation as he tugs on Namjoon’s hand. 

Namjoon continues to chuckle but manages to drink some of his whiskey. The music in the club is loud, overproduced, and technically not very interesting, but the beat continues to boom in time with Namjoon’s pulse, and he is glad to be right where he is, with all three menaces in his presence. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk finish their drinks and get up to get another round. As soon as they turn to the bar, Yoongi leans close, pressing his lips to Namjoon’s neck. 

“I still can’t believe you did that,” he grumbles against Namjoon’s skin. 

“I honestly can’t either,” Namjoon responds with a smile, turning to stare into sharp but soft eyes. “You make me want to be impulsive.”

Yoongi stares at Namjoon, cracking a soft smile. “Does that worry you?” 

Truth be told, it does worry Namjoon a little. But not because he does not trust himself to make good choices. All that worries him is that he might be too swept up in a whirlwind of Yoongi, only to crash back to earth harder than he could possibly imagine. But, all of these concerns have already been aired, and Namjoon does not want to drudge them back up at a time like this, so he smiles and says, “Only a little.”

“We can take it slow—“ Yoongi begins.

Namjoon squeezes Yoongi’s hand and shakes his head. “I don’t want to take it slow with you. I want all of you, as soon as possible.”

Yoongi’s eyes flash, and he lifts his drink, gulping half of it down. Namjoon drinks some of his, as well, feeling the warmth of the liquor settle in his chest as excitement begins to gently but insistently quake through him. 

“What you said in the bathroom,” Yoongi says, leaning so close, Namjoon can only see a Yoongi-tone blur from the corner of his eye. “You want me to fuck you?”

Namjoon nods and turns his head so he can look into Yoongi’s eyes. “If that works for you.”

“That does work for me,” Yoongi responds with a grin. 

Namjoon takes two big gulps of his whiskey, finishing it. His mouth and throat feel thick and heavy, with a bitter taste, and he exhales through it as he sets his glass down. Yoongi finishes his drink and places his glass beside Namjoon’s, and they glance around for their friends, finding them still at the bar. 

Without a word spoken between them, Namjoon stands and pulls Yoongi toward the boys. They squeeze through a small crowd and pull Taehyung and Jeongguk into a hug once they finish placing their order with the bartenders. 

“Have fun but be safe,” Jeongguk says with a stern look. 

“Text us when you get home,” Taehyung adds. 

“Yes, dad,” Namjoon and Yoongi grumble at once—Namjoon finding it hard to keep a grin off his face. 

Taehyung and Jeongguk collect their drinks and walk toward the dance floor, trailing Namjoon and Yoongi, who have to pass that area to get to the exit. With one more wave goodbye near the edge of the writhing throng of bodies, Taehyung places a hand on his heart and shouts, “They grow so fast.”

Jeongguk sighs, mimicking Taehyung, shouting, “I’m so proud of our boys.”

Yoongi stands so close to Namjoon that the bounce of his shoulders can be felt, and Namjoon laughs, tugging Yoongi outside.  

“Those little shits,” Yoongi grumbles once they are out on the sidewalk. 

Namjoon lets go of Yoongi's hand and wraps his arm around his waist, pulling him close, humming in agreement. Yoongi snakes an arm around Namjoon’s waist, and Namjoon could swear the spot under his large, warm hand tingles from the touch. The club is close enough to their neighborhood that they fall into step toward Yoongi’s place; nobody bothered to drive. 

“I wonder what other firsts I can get you to do,” Yoongi muses, turning his pretty smile to Namjoon.

With a hum, Namjoon shrugs. “I guess we’ll find out.”

“I’m still a certified piercer,” Yoongi suggests with wide eyes, swimming with mirth. 

Namjoon glances between Yoongi and the sidewalk ahead, and scoffs. “I don’t think I need a piercing, hyung.”

“Not even your ears? You’d look good with some silver hoops.”

Warmth blooms over Namjoon, covering him like a hug. Even if he is not sold on the idea of piercings in his own ears, he likes Yoongi telling him he would look good. 

“Already trying to get us to match, hyung?” Namjoon teases. 

Yoongi chuckles and squeezes Namjoon’s side. “I guess that’s something only couples do.”

Unsure what to say, Namjoon hums and keeps his eyes ahead. With his tendency to jump too fast and fall too hard, he hesitates to comment on a timeline for them to become a couple. 

They stop at a corner and wait for the walk sign to grant them permission to cross the street, and Yoongi leans and smacks a kiss against Namjoon’s cheek, making Namjoon flinch and turn to find him smiling brightly. 

“We’ll get there,” Yoongi says. “And when we do, we’ll be the cutest in our couples outfits.”

Namjoon can’t help but grin. “Is that so?”

With a lift of his eyebrows, Yoongi nods. Namjoon resists the urge to kiss him silly—to say fuck it and ask him right in this moment if he would like to make it official. 

But the light changes and Yoongi takes his hand once more and tugs him across the street. It takes Namjoon a few steps to pick his feet up properly, and he stumbles as he traverses, doing his best to keep up. It could be the whiskey, but it is more likely Yoongi who is intoxicating him, and he does his best to get his balance. 

"Drunk, Joon?" Yoongi teases, glancing back when their feet hit the curb. 

Namjoon feels winded, like he has just run a marathon, and he tugs Yoongi close, pulling a low grunt from him. "You make me dizzy, hyung."

Yoongi sucks his lips between his teeth before releasing them with a shy smile. "Pretty sure that's from the whiskey."

With an adamant shake of his head, Namjoon lets his gaze trail from Yoongi's eyes, down to his lips, and back. "It's you."

Yoongi falters—hesitates as if he has something to say or do—but then he squeezes Namjoon's hand and continues to yank him along. They are already so close to Yoongi's apartment, Namjoon is starting to feel nervous. Nervous, but also more excited than he has been for anything before. 

As Yoongi's apartment comes into view just over a block away, Namjoon's hand starts to sweat. The night air is just chilly enough to make him shiver, but where Yoongi's palm rests snugly against his, the skin tingles with warmth. If Yoongi notices, he does not seem to mind, just holds Namjoon tightly, rubbing his thumb gently over his skin. Namjoon wonders if he is just as nervous. 

"I think it's nice how we paired off," Yoongi says softly. 

Namjoon glances at him, finding Yoongi looking ahead with a small smile on his lips. Yoongi turns briefly to lock eyes with Namjoon, and his smile widens.

"What do you mean?"

"Taehyung and Jeongguk. They're both younger and are very similar in personality. Eccentric. But sometimes, they're like the sun and the moon. Taehyung is bright and sweet, and Jeongguk is dark and moody."

Namjoon hums, smile tugging at his lips as he watches the sidewalk before him. 

"And then there's us," Yoongi continues, making Namjoon turn to look at him again. "I'm the Jeongguk and you're the Taehyung."

Namjoon chuckles and squeezes Yoongi's hand. "I was going to say the opposite."

"Really?" Yoongi asks through a chuckle.

"Remember how emo I was on date two? I feel like I'm the dark and brooding moon and you're the bright sun."

After a pause, Yoongi says softly, "So I'm the sun you seek."

This stops Namjoon in his tracks, turning to Yoongi as his heart pounds wildly in his chest. The thought has crossed his mind before, but it is such a large, profound thing to voice aloud that it takes Namjoon's mind a moment to catch up. 

"I suppose you are," Namjoon responds, voice breathier than usual.

Yoongi crowds Namjoon's space, gently taking him by the cheek and slotting their lips together. It is less of a kiss and more an exchange of oxygen, warm whiskey-sweet breath passing from one to another. 

"I hope I can continue to shine for you, then," Yoongi mutters against Namjoon's lips. 

Namjoon grins, eyes open and watching Yoongi's pretty lips. "I will need at least six hours of direct sunlight a day in order to thrive."

At this, Yoongi smiles widely in return, rubbing his blunt fingernails gently along the column of Namjoon's neck. "Only six?"

With a gentle peck to Yoongi's lips, Namjoon continues their trek, tugging him across the vacant street and to the steps of their destination. Yoongi takes the lead, unlocking the front door and tugging him along, toward the elevator. Once the silver doors slide closed, Yoongi steps in front of Namjoon and gently, firmly, shoves him into the corner, standing with his smirking lips only an inch away.

"Are you ready, Joon?"

Namjoon's pulse quickens, and he stares into Yoongi's eyes, doing his best to breathe. "I am," he responds through a shaky breath.

"Are you sure?"

The elevator dings, but Yoongi does not move, so Namjoon leans in, and captures Yoongi's bottom lip between his teeth, gently sucking until the older whines. "I was the one who dropped to my knees earlier, remember?"

"I remember," Yoongi groans. 

The elevator doors begin to close and Namjoon steps forward, pushing Yoongi backward, so he can reach for the button to reopen them, crowding Yoongi's space. "Shall we?" 

Yoongi leans forward and smacks a loud kiss to Namjoon's lips before spinning and pulling him toward the apartment, causing Namjoon to stumble forward once again, simultaneously light and heavy on his feet as excitement vibrates from limb to limb. The familiar smell of citrus and cedar hits Namjoon's nose the moment Yoongi's door opens, and he takes in a deep breath as he crosses the threshold. 

Namjoon enters the apartment, steps from his shoes, and gently places them near the small pile of Yoongi's sneakers. Yoongi's tall boots have zippers up the side, and he wastes no time stepping out of them and tossing them aside. 

With a deep oof, Namjoon's back is pressed against the door, which closes loudly behind them, reminiscent of the first time he entered this apartment. Yoongi advances quickly, hands on Namjoon's neck and chest, pushing at skin and tugging at fabric as he kisses sloppy and eager. Namjoon melts against the door, slowly pushing at the collar of Yoongi's bomber jacket until the older helps him remove it—hands leaving Namjoon's chest only long enough for the garment to hit the floor. 

"I want you so badly," Yoongi whines into Namjoon's mouth, and Namjoon grins. 

"Really? I couldn't tell."

Yoongi yanks Namjoon away from the door from the collar of his jacket, forcing him to take a step forward just enough for him to shrug it away and let it hit the floor. He groans, "Shut up," against Namjoon's lips, making him chuckle. 

"So feisty," Namjoon teases, rubbing his palms over Yoongi's chest, feeling the metal bars under fabric. 

Yoongi hisses and hums from the touch, sparking Namjoon to rub his thumbs in circles over the hardened buds. More deep, dulcet sounds pour into Namjoon's mouth, and he has to fight the urge to turn into a puddle right there. 

"Is my hyung this sensitive?"

"F-feels good," Yoongi whines. 

Namjoon drops his hands to where Yoongi's shirt is tucked into his jeans, and he begins to tug. Yoongi complies, lifting his hands to allow Namjoon to yank the white fabric away, taking the beret with it. As the fabric falls to the floor and Yoongi's arms return to his sides, Namjoon takes in the sight of him. 

Pretty pale skin covered in flowers, snakes, and bones; taut, toned muscle; shiny metal accents. Yoongi is breathtaking. 

Namjoon grabs Yoongi by the belt loops and tugs him close, then bends and flicks his tongue over one of the nipple piercings. The deep, needy moan that falls from Yoongi's mouth is sinful, and Namjoon licks firmer, slower, warming the cold metal with his spit. 

Fingers brush through Namjoon's hair and grip, tugging gently at the strands, urging him not to stop. Namjoon drags his lips along the expanse of Yoongi's chest, leaving lazy wet kisses in his wake before his tongue finds the other nipple, flicking and teasing while Yoongi whimpers and groans. There is a faint, heady sweetness to Yoongi's skin, and Namjoon finds it addicting. 

"Let's go to my room, Namjoonah," Yoongi whines.

Namjoon teases Yoongi just a bit more, then straightens out. "What's the matter? Am I making you weak in the knees, hyung?"

Yoongi's pupils are blown, and there is a hunger in his eyes that sends a shiver through Namjoon. "Maybe you are."

Namjoon bends and wraps his arms around Yoongi's thighs, lifting him with ease, and Yoongi gasps and wraps his arms around Namjoon's neck. Carefully and slowly, Namjoon makes his way through the dark apartment with only the golden glow of streetlights filtering in from outside to guide him.

"Tell me the way, hyung."

Yoongi chuckles and nuzzles his face in Namjoon's neck. "Turn left, last door."

As Namjoon reaches a small entryway just past the living room, he notices a door to the right, a bathroom straight ahead, and, just to the left, a door at the end of the short hallway, on the right-hand side. 

Yoongi presses slow, wet kisses to Namjoon's neck as he approaches, tapping the door open gently with his toe, then Yoongi reaches for a switch on the wall as they enter, turning the light on just enough that they can see. The room is tidy, with more artwork on the walls like pieces in the living room. In the far corner is a bed covered in blood red and burgundy fabrics, and Namjoon carries Yoongi over, bends to set him down, and cages him in with his arms, hovering close. 

"You're wearing too much," Yoongi whines. 

Namjoon's heart flutters and his eyes drift down to Yoongi's pants and back up. "As are you, hyung."

With a somewhat petulant groan, Yoongi responds, "Do something about it."

Feeling playful, Namjoon stands and slowly begins unbuttoning the yellow lace shirt, watching as Yoongi gradually loses his composure and patience. With a huff, Yoongi sits up and reaches his long, tattoo-covered arms out, hooking his fingers in Namjoon's belt loops and yanking him closer.

Namjoon chuckles as Yoongi untucks the yellow lace shirt, shrugging it away and letting it hit the floor. Yoongi sits up tall, running his palms over Namjoon's stomach and pecs with a look of awe. The mesh shirt is tight, hugging Namjoon's curves in a way that made him incredibly shy earlier, when he was putting it on. Wearing it now, while Yoongi swoons openly, sparks excitement in Namjoon.

"Like what you see, pretty?"

Yoongi sighs, nibbling on his bottom lip. "You know I do."

"Want me to leave it on or take it off?"

Another sigh, "God, I don't know."

Namjoon can't help but laugh softly as he stares down at Yoongi with affection. It is too soon to be feeling strong feelings, and yet, all he wants is to take Yoongi gently by the face and shower him with words of love and adoration. Love. Namjoon feels his stomach swoop, making him a bit queasy, and he clears his throat and attempts to focus on how horny he is, instead. 

Luckily, Yoongi helps him get out of his head by rubbing against the rough mesh material, over Namjoon's nipples, sending a wave of pleasure through him that makes him gasp. 

"Fuck it," Yoongi grumbles, gathering the material of the flimsy shirt and pushing at it, "I want this off."

Namjoon aids Yoongi in his somewhat frantic attempt, grabbing the bottom hem of the shirt and slowly peeling it off, worrying for the sake of the fabric in his clumsy hands. He even struggles to get the tight material past his shoulders and elbows, and has to wiggle a bit until it is finally over his head, jingling the many chains that Taehyung had draped over his neck. When he is free of the garment, Yoongi paws at him, hands touching and groping his chest and abs. 

"Damn, Joon," Yoongi says softly. "You are so fucking hot."

"Pretty Yoongi has a thing for muscles?" Namjoon teases. 

Yoongi grips Namjoon by the hips, giving him a firm shove backward, and Namjoon stumbles a few steps back as Yoongi stands, so close he can feel the heat of his body. As Namjoon gets his bearings—suddenly tipped off his axis by Yoongi's proximity—Yoongi's hands fall to Namjoon's jeans, and he begins to undo the button.

"Pretty Yoongi has a thing for you," Yoongi responds, leaning so close Namjoon could easily press their lips together, if only he weren't so stunned where he stands.

"Is that so?" Namjoon asks in an attempt to be playful, though his voice cracks under the sudden pressure of being undressed by the man of his dreams. 

Yoongi smirks and hums, then begins to slowly push at the waistline of Namjoon's borrowed jeans. "May I?"

"You may," Namjoon all but whimpers.

As the pants slide past Namjoon's thighs, then fall the rest of the way to the floor, Yoongi wraps his arms over Namjoon's shoulders and begins to leave warm, slow kisses against his neck. 

"I want to repay the favor from earlier," Yoongi groans, voice deep and raspy. "And then I want to prep you nice and slow. Can you handle being overstimulated, Joon?"

Namjoon has absolutely no idea, and his exhale comes out shaky as he says, "I don't know. Maybe."

With a hum and a grin, Yoongi sinks back into a seated position on the bed and says, "Shall we find out?"

Suddenly, with Yoongi at crotch level, Namjoon feels anxious. He reminds himself that he has nothing to worry about—that he has already seen and sucked Yoongi's dick—but his head still swims with the possibility of his own dick being on display. 

Yoongi rubs his hands over Namjoon's thighs, then brushes a thumb over his growing bulge, and Namjoon whimpers softly as arousal sends blood flooding to that spot. With a satisfied hum, Yoongi leans forward and rubs his lips over Namjoon's growing erection, breathing warmth through the soft, tight fabric and sending a shiver up his spine. 

"I bet you get nice and big, don't you Joon?" Yoongi asks, dragging his lips against him.

"Yeah," Namjoon responds on a breathy exhale. "I get pretty big."

Yoongi nudges him gently with his nose. "Do you always bottom?" 

The light touches and warm breath have Namjoon practically panting, desperate for more. He shakes his head quickly, blinking heavily as he mutters, "No. I would do anything for you; you know that."

"Good." Yoongi smirks as he slides a hand up to Namjoon's dick, giving it a gentle squeeze that has Namjoon moaning.

Yoongi takes the waistband of Namjoon's briefs gently in his fingers and tugs down, letting Namjoon's heavy, hard cock spring out. With a gasp, Yoongi quickly abandons his task of undressing Namjoon and takes his cock in both hands, gently stroking his length while squeezing the head. Every nerve on Namjoon's body is alight with heat as arousal tingles in his core. Yoongi's large, pretty hands are warm and engulfing, delicate yet firm. 

"I bet you'll make my jaw sore really fast," Yoongi teases as he continues to gently stroke. "I can't wait."

Yoongi sits up straight, licking from Namjoon's balls up to the crown, and back down, teasing the tip of his tongue in tight circles. Namjoon lets out a gasp that becomes a groan and intently watches Yoongi, gaze traveling between his mouth and his eyes, which stare up at Namjoon. He practically breaks eye contact when Yoongi dips the very tip of his tongue into his slit, stretching him just enough to send a wave of pleasure breaking abruptly, making his eyelids flutter. 

"You're such a tease," Namjoon groans, reaching down to gently push his fingers into Yoongi's hair. 

With another devious smile, Yoongi mutters, "Sorry, Joonie. I'll be good to you, now," and takes Namjoon into his mouth, sucking him down until the tip of Namjoon's cock brushes against Yoongi's throat. 

Yoongi's mouth is warm and wet, with a hint of cold steel, and Namjoon tightens his fist around Yoongi's hair, not enough to tug too hard, but enough to make Yoongi groan. The vibration of Yoongi's voice along Namjoon's length makes him tremble and inadvertently rut deeper into Yoongi's mouth. Yoongi seems unbothered and does not gag, then he slowly draws his head back, eyes still watching Namjoon, as he pulls out completely.

"I don't think I can take it all," Yoongi pouts with spit-slick lips. 

"That's okay," is all Namjoon's horny, caveman brain can think of to say in response. 

"Did you masturbate today?"

This question catches Namjoon off guard, and he takes a moment before answering, "N-no."

"So you'll probably cum pretty fast?" Yoongi grins.

Namjoon nods. "Probably."

"And you might even give me a nice big load to swallow."

All Namjoon can do is swallow all the drool that has pooled in his mouth and stare down at Yoongi, who once again takes Namjoon's cock into his mouth as far as he can before the tip is brushing against the soft, tight flesh of his throat. The feeling is incredible, sending a tremble throughout Namjoon's body as his pleasure continues to build. 

Yoongi sucks in his cheeks and swallows, tightening around Namjoon before he slowly drags his lips back to the tip, only to suck him down again, nice and deep, and Namjoon legitimately fears that he may cum in absolutely no time at all. 

"Fuck, hyung," Namjoon whimpers, squeezing his eyes shut before opening them back up. "Feels so good."

Yoongi groans and hums as he continues to suck, building Namjoon's arousal to dangerous heights at a breakneck speed. If this is how good Yoongi's mouth feels, he can only begin to imagine how he will feel topping him. The prospect is nerve-wracking and sends a shiver quaking through him. Yoongi must interpret the shiver as Namjoon getting close, and he wraps a hand around the length that he cannot get into his mouth, using his drool as lubricant to gently twist. 

The wave of pleasure that bursts through Namjoon makes him whimper, and his entire body trembles. With his briefs tight around his thighs, Namjoon feels unstable on his feet and reaches down behind him with his free hand to shove at the fabric until it falls to the floor so he can widen his stance. 

Yoongi continues to suck his cheeks in and swallow hard around Namjoon, letting drool fall from between his lips. His eyes are closed as he focuses on his task, but when Namjoon takes a step with his right foot to the side, Yoongi opens his eyes and stares up at him through teary lashes. The sight is so sinful—so absolutely perfect—that Namjoon begins to plummet toward orgasm. 

With both hands, Namjoon takes Yoongi gently by the hair. He has to resist the urge to rock his hips, not wanting to push Yoongi too hard when he has established a perfect rhythm. But his hips do tremble with each deep suck, and Namjoon feels himself press into Yoongi's tight, velvety throat as his high builds. 

"You're gonna make me cum, hyung," Namjoon whimpers.

Yoongi hums and moans with each swallow and stroke of Namjoon's length, and the sound is all it takes to send him reeling. 

"Fuck, that's it," Namjoon groans. His entire body shudders and quakes at Yoongi's whim. "I'm so close. I'm s—"

Namjoon's head lolls back as he cums, spraying his release straight into Yoongi's throat while he continues to swallow around the tip. Orgasm quickly becomes overstimulation, and Namjoon begins to see stars as Yoongi milks him of his release.

"Hyung," Namjoon gasps, feeling the way Yoongi must have felt in the bathroom earlier, while tugging gently on Yoongi's hair, "you're gonna make me faint if you don't stop."

Yoongi chuckles as he pulls his head back and lets Namjoon's spent cock slip from between his pretty, sticky-slick lips. Tears have smudged the black makeup around Yoongi's eyes, and he smiles up at Namjoon looking very pleased with himself. 

"You did give me a nice big load to swallow," Yoongi says as he leans forward and flicks his tongue over the tip of Namjoon's dick, making him gasp and whine. Then, he licks his lips and rasps, "Such a good boy for me."

The bulge in Yoongi's jeans is noticeable, and Namjoon drops to his knees, wobbling a bit in the process, and rubs his hands up Yoongi's thighs. "You're still wearing too much clothing," he pouts as Yoongi leans back to let him undo his fly.

Namjoon makes sure to rub over Yoongi's erection as he unzips his pants, and Yoongi groans from each touch, watching with blown pupils and a sharp smile. Although he already went down on Yoongi less than an hour ago, there is a part of him that wants to do it again, and he licks his lips at the thought. Yoongi, however, has other plans, and he sits up, gently taking Namjoon by the wrists and stopping him from doing any more. 

"I assume you got bottom ready for me, baby?" Yoongi asks.

Namjoon raises his eyebrows, feeling a surge of arousal go straight to his cock from the new nickname. "I did," he responds, tugging his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Good," Yoongi responds, then he releases Namjoon's hands and pats the bed beside him. "On your hands and knees, please."

Yoongi scoots to the side, giving Namjoon room, and Namjoon does as he is told, planting his hands on the mattress and climbing up onto his knees. He gets into place in the center of the bed, draping his arms over a pillow with his ass in the air, feeling extremely vulnerable but excited, and Yoongi stands then pushes his jeans to the floor, showing off a pretty black dragon tattoo that snakes down his hip and thigh. 

"God, you're a vision," Yoongi says as he steps out of the denim and kicks it aside. He gets onto his knees on the bed and grabs a handful of Namjoon's ass. "Just look at you."

Feeling playful, Namjoon wiggles his butt back and forth while Yoongi settles beside him, earning him a light spank, which makes him gasp and chuckle. 

"Taking a pierced cock can be quite painful for some," Yoongi says, looking Namjoon in the eye with a serious expression as he leans and grabs a bottle of lube from atop the bedside table. "I'm going to stretch you as much as I can before we start, and if you decide you can't handle the feeling, I can let my erection go down and change the metal jewelry out for softer silicone. Or, you can fuck me. Whichever you prefer."

Namjoon takes in all of the information, doing his best not to feel nervous about the possibility of it hurting. He did admit to enjoying a little pain, but clearly, this might be more than what he has bargained for.

"I want us to use the stoplight safe word system. Do you know that one?"

"Yes," Namjoon responds, voice sounding shakier than he expected. He takes a deep breath to steady himself. "I say green to tell you that I am good, and red if I need to stop."

Yoongi reaches and places a hand on Namjoon's back, filling Namjoon with warmth as he rubs from his ribs to his shoulder and down to his hip. "And if you need me to stop for just a moment, you can say yellow."

Namjoon swallows a lump of nervousness. "Sounds good, hyung."

And with that, Yoongi gets onto the bed behind Namjoon, kicking Namjoon's heart into full swing, as the bed dips and two large, warm hands spread his ass. He hears Yoongi breathe—or maybe hum—before squeezing him, and his mouth falls open gently with a soft gasp.

"I've been waiting for this moment and now I feel lost in awe," Yoongi admits with a chuckle. 

Although the attention feels nice, Namjoon wonders if he might shrivel up and die from embarrassment if Yoongi continues to stare at his spread ass for too long. Never has someone wanted to sit and marvel at him before, and he feels incredibly exposed. But then he feels warm breath ghost over his taint, and he lets in a sharp inhale as his eyes flutter closed. 

Gently, softly, Yoongi swirls his tongue over Namjoon's rim. The sensation is so featherlight but warm, sending a shiver up Namjoon's spine that escapes him as a relaxing exhale. Namjoon allows his shoulders to droop and relaxes into the blood red pillow that is clutched beneath him as he waits in anticipation for what may come next. 

"Heaven," Yoongi groans, biting gently into the soft flesh of Namjoon's cheek and sucking the skin between his lips with a pop. "You fucking taste like heaven."

All Namjoon can do is whimper in response, finding it hard to wrap his head around Yoongi's voice or his words before his tongue is dragging over his hole slowly and firmly, making Namjoon tremble and moan. Suddenly, his insecurities fade, and all he is left with is the warm, wet drag of Yoongi's perfect tongue making him come undone. 

The feeling intensifies as the muscle dips inside, stretching Namjoon gently around it. Namjoon lets his lips drag over the soft, deep red pillowcase that smells like Yoongi's musk. He cannot believe he almost made himself wait to feel this pleasure for the sake of an arbitrary rule he had set for himself. Yoongi has barely gotten started, and already, Namjoon is on cloud nine.

A fingertip joins Yoongi's tongue and gently presses inside, giving Namjoon a firmer stretch. Namjoon moans and lets out a deep exhale, gripping onto the pillowcase tightly. Yoongi is slow as he pushes his finger in deep and pulls it back, allowing Namjoon to set a steady breathing pace. Bless the length of his fingers and those thick, knobby knuckles as Yoongi steadily fills him. 

"How do you feel, Joon?" Yoongi asks sweetly before lapping over Namjoon's stretched rim. 

"So good," Namjoon whimpers.

"Ready for another finger?"

"Yes, please."

The first finger exits, leaving Namjoon feeling dreadfully empty, and he hears the cap of the lube bottle pop open. Yoongi licks over his rim hungrily, taking Namjoon by surprise as his lips and tongue make a sloppy fucking mess of him. Pleasure builds, and Namjoon groans into the feeling, sinking further into relaxed bliss. Then, the sting of two fingers entering him replaces the warm tongue, and Namjoon squeezes the pillow as he is stretched further. 

"F-fuck," he whimpers, feeling a shiver rock through him. "S-so good."

A deep, pretty groan vibrates against Namjoon's skin as Yoongi drags his lips over his buttcheek, slowly prodding his fingers in and out a little further each time. 

"You are so good for me, Joonie."

Joy and affection burst and bloom in Namjoon's chest. All he wants in the present moment is to be so, so good for Yoongi.

Yoongi is unhurried and careful as he stretches Namjoon on two fingers, and then three. By the time Namjoon is adjusted around three, he is panting and sobbing with sweat pooling on his forehead. It has been a while since the last time someone fucked him, and everything little sensation is intense. 

As Yoongi begins to press a fourth finger in, Namjoon bites onto the pillow and cries out, practically screaming that he is green when his hyung asks so gently and calmly what color he is. 

Namjoon is easily overwhelmed by pleasure—feels like he might burst at the seams and explode—and Yoongi is so patient as he drags more and more from him with each pass and prod of his fingers. Yoongi's lips and teeth suck and nip at his skin, undoubtedly marking his ass like an animal print, and Namjoon whimpers and hisses from each feeling—everything feels like so much.

By the time Namjoon is adjusted to four of Yoongi's fingers, his cock is desperately hard against his tummy and dribbling streaks of precum. With a deep, devious giggle, Yoongi brushes his fingertip over Namjoon's prostate, and the jolt of white-hot sensation that sparks through him makes Namjoon speak in tongues, feeling far too close to cum and not wanting to just yet. 

"So pliant and good for me," Yoongi praises, littering his backside with kisses. "So tight and eager to be filled."

Namjoon has absolutely no idea what he fuck to say in response, so all he does is whimper and nod despite knowing Yoongi probably cannot see him. He is pliant and good and tight and eager to be filled. So, so eager. All for Yoongi.

As Yoongi slides his fingers from Namjoon's stretched hole, Namjoon lets out a large puff of air, able to breathe again but feeling so empty. Already, he longs for stimulation, missing the way Yoongi feels. The sound of the lube bottle popping open once more fills Namjoon with excitement, and he wonders if, finally, he will get to feel Yoongi's pretty, pierced cock.

Yoongi gives Namjoon's ass a playful smack. "Up, Joonie. I want you to ride me so you can be in control."

The very thought of being in any amount of control of his body weight and limbs feels overwhelming as Namjoon lifts himself onto his knees, feeling slightly embarrassed for the large drool spot that he has left on Yoongi's pillow. 

Yoongi crawls to the center of the bed, moving the pillows out of the way as he takes a seat against the wall. He strokes his hard length in one hand while giving Namjoon "come here" fingers with the other, and Namjoon notices the slickness of his fingers, feeling a swirl of arousal at the thought of those fingers being buried inside him. 

"You already look so fucked out," Yoongi teases as Namjoon crawls to him, straddling his legs. He feels fucked out already, and can only imagine the state of his hair. 

"Felt good," Namjoon grumbles almost petulantly, suddenly a bit shy about being teased by someone so dreadfully sexy.

Namjoon wants to stop and admire all the designs on Yoongi's skin, but he knows that this is not the time. He does, however, flick his tongue over one of Yoongi's nipples, smiling as Yoongi whimpers so sweetly. Spurred on to hear more pretty sounds, Namjoon gently sucks his pierced nipple between his lips, playing with the cold steel with his tongue. A shutter rocks though Yoongi, who gently takes Namjoon by the chin and pulls him away from his task.

"Joon, baby, I love the way your tongue feels," Yoongi grumbles with a knitted brow, "but I need you to sit on this cock before I go insane."

"Baby, hmm?" Namjoon asks as he lifts his head to slot Yoongi's lips between his.

Yoongi groans and lets his mouth fall open for Namjoon to explore. A faint, heady taste accentuated by the sweet flavor of lube can be detected, and Namjoon licks it up eagerly. He thinks he likes the way it sounds when Yoongi calls him baby. But, then again, Yoongi could call him anything and it would send the butterflies in his tummy into a frenzy. 

"I like it when you whine," Namjoon teases as he trails his lips down Yoongi's chin and neck, feeling some of his energy return. "Might have to make you beg some more."

Yoongi's hand wraps around Namjoon's cock, and he ruts into the feeling, unable to control the jerk of his hips. He feels Yoongi's pierced, lube-slick length thrust against his, and he whimpers as his forehead falls to Yoongi's shoulder. Slowly, Yoongi jerks the two of them, rolling his hips upward to rub their dicks in a dizzying motion. 

"Fuck," Namjoon groans into the junction of Yoongi's neck and shoulder. 

"What was that, baby?" Yoongi teases, voice breathy but controlled. "Were you saying something?"

"Not fair," Namjoon whimpers as he lifts his arms and drapes them over Yoongi's shoulders. 

"What's not fair?"

The slide of their cocks in Yoongi's hand makes Namjoon shiver. "Everything you do feels incredible."

Namjoon manages to sit up on Yoongi's lap and lets his eyes trail down his pierced and tattooed chest and stomach, to their dicks in his hand, both swelled and leaking with precum, and one with a big metal ring sticking from it. A finger taps the underside of Namjoon's chin, making him look up. 

"Come find out what else I can do, then," Yoongi says with a smile.

Yoongi releases their cocks and grabs the lube to slick himself back up as Namjoon plants his palms against the wall above Yoongi's head and sits high, hovering his ass until Yoongi is ready. With his fingertips, Yoongi smears lube over Namjoon's hole, making Namjoon groan, then he nods. 

"Ready when you are, Joon."

Namjoon reaches below him and takes Yoongi's cock at the base, gives it a little squeeze, then begins to lower himself. The feeling of the metal hoop through Yoongi's tip makes Namjoon shudder, and he jerks his hips upward before settling back down. 

"Cold," he mutters with a chuckle, glancing down to see Yoongi has his head tilted up and is watching his face. Namjoon smiles and mutters, "Hey."

"Hi there," Yoongi responds, nibbling on his lip ring. 

Slowly, Namjoon puts a little more weight down, gasping from the stretch that Yoongi's fingers did a decent job preparing him for. Namjoon lifts his hips slightly, then pushes a little further, feeling the drag of the hoop inside him. It's...strange. But also pretty good. 

But then, Namjoon feels the bar on the underside of Yoongi's cock tug at his rim, pulling almost uncomfortably, and he hisses, lifting his hips. Yoongi uses both hands to grab Namjoon's ass and spread him wide, and Namjoon lowers himself once more, determined to get past the jewelry.

"Careful," Yoongi gasps as Namjoon gently rocks his hips up and back downward. 

Namjoon tries again, but the tug is too much, and he lifts his hips once more, nearly boiling over with frustration. He wants to take Yoongi's cock so badly it makes his head spin. 

Yoongi sits forward slightly, reaching with his fingers to Namjoon's hole, and slowly begins to slide a finger inside, beside his cock head. Namjoon sobs from the feeling and does his best to keep still while Yoongi gently stretches him further, rocking his hips ever so gently, eager to be filled. Yoongi slips another fingertip in, sending stars bursting before Namjoon's eyes, then he gently thrusts until the piercing is past the rim and nestled inside Namjoon, using his fingertips as a shield from the steel balls. 

With the head of Yoongi's dick buried inside him, Namjoon relaxes into the feeling and begins to sink further. Both cold metal rings tug along his walls, and the feeling is just intense enough to make him nearly gasp with each movement. There is not much pain, but it is a bit uncomfortable, causing alarms to ring in his head despite his need to feel it deeper. 

"Take it slow, baby," Yoongi urges through grunts.

Namjoon had been completely spaced out, staring at the wall, but he blinks and makes eye contact with Yoongi, bringing his pretty, blushed face into view and feeling his heart soar. 

"I'm good, hyung. It feels—" Namjoon moans, sinking further down, "—feels kinda weird but also s-so good."

Silence falls between them as Yoongi stares up at Namjoon, who does his best to settle on his lap and allow himself to properly adjust. Namjoon begins to feel shy under his unwavering gaze—feels blush creep to his cheeks as he softly asks, "What?"

Something gentle and sweet flashes in Yoongi's eyes, and he blinks as his pretty lips tug into a smile. "You're just incredible," he says like it is nothing, and Namjoon feels his tummy do a backflip. 

The only thing he can do in this moment to keep himself from professing deep, intense feelings way too soon, is kiss Yoongi on the forehead, lift his hips, and slam them down. The drag of the metal on Yoongi's thick, perfect dick makes Namjoon tremble. Somehow, the intensity of the sensation feels like he is being crushed under some kind of weight, and he falls forward with his head on Yoongi's shoulder to catch his breath.

"Okay, wow," Namjoon mutters. "Why does it feel like so much?"

Yoongi chuckles and leaves a kiss on Namjoon's neck that makes him shiver. "Want some help, Joon?"

Namjoon nods his head, muttering, "Please," as he lifts his hips enough to give Yoongi some room to move. Yoongi cradles Namjoon's ass in his palms as he slowly begins to thrust up into him, not as deep as he could, but enough to make Namjoon whimper and curse and groan, eager for more despite it feeling like a lot, all the while Yoongi sucks and kisses at his shoulder and neck.

"How is that, baby?"

Namjoon's words come out breathy and weak. "F-feels amazing."

"Want me to keep doing this, or do you want me to fuck you?"

And, in this moment, Namjoon thinks he has never been so sure of anything in his life as he perks his ass out just a little more and says, "Fuck me, hyung."

Yoongi slams his hips upward, causing Namjoon to practically scream. The sound that leaves his mouth is pitchy and lewd, and it would make him feel embarrassed if Yoongi did not continue to piston his cock upward, hitting every spot inside him that makes him absolutely unravel. 

Instantly, Namjoon sees stars. He leans forward, nuzzling into Yoongi's neck while the top of his head bumps into the wall, and he drools and sobs. Yoongi fills him so perfectly, and the piercings send him over the edge while his own cock slaps against his stomach, leaving a small splatter of precum in its wake. Namjoon thinks he could cum just like this, with his hands gripping onto Yoongi's hair and his body being used like a doll.

But Yoongi has other plans. With one hand, Yoongi reaches between them and strokes Namjoon's cock, sending a wave of pleasure so intense—so white-hot—Namjoon loses track of his senses, suddenly unsure whether sound and space truly exist. Namjoon sucks against pink peonies on Yoongi's neck while doing his best to lift and drop his ass in perfect rhythm of his thrusts, terrified to already come undone when he feels like Yoongi is only getting started. 

"Want you overstimulated," Yoongi groans, voice broken on the edges from pleasure. "Sound good, baby?"

"Y-yes, hyung."

"Good," Yoongi says as he squeezes Namjoon's dick, sending him plummeting over the edge. 

Namjoon's back arches, and he changes posture to sit straight and let his head fall back. In this position, Yoongi leans forward and clamps his lips on one of Namjoon's nipples, causing another jolt of pleasure to join the electrical current running through his limbs. He is mere moments from falling apart completely. 

"Gonna cum, hyung," Namjoon whimpers as he lifts and slams his hips to match Yoongi's rhythm and chase his high. 

Yoongi's hips somehow piston even harder, and it takes no time at all for Namjoon to spray his release on Yoongi's fist, which continues to stroke and squeeze. Namjoon shudders through his orgasm, moaning and sobbing as his high begins to dissipate and he enters the realm of overstimulation. He practically begs for mercy when Yoongi slows his hips and wraps his arms around his waist. 

"Sit up baby, but don't pull out." 

Namjoon does as he is told, whimpering as he sits high on his knees so Yoongi can shift below him, going from a fully seated position to also on his knees, one leg at a time. 

"So good for me," Yoongi grumbles as he lazily drags his lips over Namjoon's chest while he readjusts. "I want you on your back. Can you do that for me, Joon?"

Namjoon nods and waits for Yoongi to begin to move, then drops his arms behind him and slowly begins to lower himself to the mattress with Yoongi's cock buried inside him. The feeling is strange and overwhelming, and Yoongi cradles him until his back hits the soft red comforter. 

It almost feels humiliating the way Yoongi grabs his thighs and spreads them, draping his legs over his shoulders and towering over him with a look of pure lust in his eyes. Namjoon considers asking for a break, but as Yoongi slowly pulls his hips back and rolls them forward, the drag is incredible, sending blood rushing back to his cock with a wave of overwhelming pleasure that makes him whimper.

"Too much, baby?" Yoongi asks in almost a mocking tone. 

Namjoon nods and whines, "Uh-huh."

"Color?"

With a sigh, Namjoon responds, "Green," because he truly does want more. 

Yoongi pulls his hips back and snaps them forward, slapping the metal ring that hangs below his cock against Namjoon's taint, which he finds surprisingly satisfying. Namjoon feels so full and so completely at Yoongi's mercy as he stretches his arms above his head and allows himself to sink into the feeling. Several more powerful thrusts have tears forming in his eyes, and when Yoongi leans forward, Namjoon feels so full it punches the air from his lungs. 

It takes no time at all for Namjoon's cock to be hard and leaking, slapping against his tummy, and Yoongi grabs onto it and rolls his hand over the leaking tip, making Namjoon sob. It also takes no time at all for him to cum a third time, and when he does, it hits so hard, his cries are silent, punctuated by sobs as he gasps to catch his breath, clawing at the blanket beneath him.

"Color, baby? Can you handle one more?"

Namjoon is absolutely certain that if he tries to cum again, he might actually die, but the feeling is so good, he wants nothing more than to be perfect for his hyung. 

"Green," he mutters, feeling his heart flutter when Yoongi smiles down at him so pretty. 

Yoongi slows his hips to a gentle roll and reaches for the bedside table, first for a hair tie to get the hair out of his face—tying it into a half top-knot that makes Namjoon swoon and want to cry—and then, for more lube, which he dribbles directly onto Namjoon's stretch hole, grinning as the cold liquid makes Namjoon thrash and squeal.

"How do you have so much fucking stamina?" Namjoon whines as Yoongi slowly drops Namjoon's legs to the side and leans forward to suck on his bottom lip as he begins to slowly pick up his pace. 

"You made me cum earlier, remember?" Yoongi groans against his lips.

Oh, Namjoon remembers. How could he possibly forget his first time dropping to his knees in a public bathroom?

Yoongi takes his time getting Namjoon hard and fucking him through his fourth orgasm. As soon as Namjoon begins to cum, Yoongi kisses him deeply, sucking the sounds from his mouth while whimpering that he is close. The cadence of Yoongi's voice when it becomes pitchy and desperate is music to Namjoon's ears, and he wraps his arms around him to hold him close, feeling Yoongi tremble in his arms as he fills him with his release. 

They stay like this for a while, with Yoongi nestled deep inside him, twitching from time to time as Namjoon squeezes around him, eager to milk him of every drop. Namjoon feels fucked out, sore, and exhausted, and he holds Yoongi close planting soft, lazy kisses all over him while Yoongi smiles and grumbles and tells him how perfect he is. 

"I've never been fucked that good in my life," Namjoon praises softly, and he means it; in this moment, he cannot remember anyone making him feel half as good. 

Yoongi chuckles and holds him close. "Good. I want to make you feel amazing."

"You do. I love—" Namjoon hesitates, feeling heat rise to his cheeks, "—uh, l-loved it."

He curses himself for using the word love and squeezes his eyes closed, but Yoongi just nuzzles impossibly closer and hums a deep, happy sound. 

"Good," Yoongi responds, slowly sitting up with a smile. "Let's clean off and then go to bed."

As consciousness slowly creeps into the hazy confines of what is leftover from sleep, the first thing Namjoon feels is disoriented. The second thing he feels is a bit sore. 

Namjoon cracks an eye open and looks around, remembering the room he is in. Next, he remembers the red comforter he fell asleep tucked under, and then the man he held tight as he drifted to calm darkness. With a smile, Namjoon rolls from his back to the right, lifting an arm gently with the intention of wrapping it back around his hyung. However, when he rotates, he is greeted by only an unoccupied pillow.

With a sigh, Namjoon returns to his back and stretches his arms over his head, knocking his knuckles against the cold wall while he yawns widely. As he begins to feel more awake, the smell of coffee wafts into the room, and if he listens closely, he can hear small sounds coming from the other room. Namjoon considers getting up and joining Yoongi in the kitchen when he remembers the attire he had worn last night. He does not exactly want to get dressed in Taehyung's clothing again.

But the promise of coffee—and of seeing Yoongi—is too enticing, so Namjoon gets out of bed, shivering as the air greets his skin, and finds his briefs. Perhaps the sight of him in nothing but his tight underwear will be a welcome sight for Yoongi. 

Namjoon finds the garment on the floor and grabs it, putting it on, one leg after the other and squatting to get everything in the right spot. Then, he makes his way down the short hallway, walking slowly and quietly with the hope of catching the sight of Yoongi dancing around the kitchen while he gets his morning started. Instead, when he turns the corner, he finds Yoongi leaning against the counter, anchored on his elbows, with his hands threaded through his hair. His posture screams stress or exhaustion, and anxiety drops to Namjoon's guts like a brick. 

Suddenly, Namjoon wishes he had not just come tip-toeing out in his undies. What if this is not the sight that Yoongi wants to see? He even considers backing up and retreating to the bedroom, but Yoongi must sense his presence, and he looks up. At first, Yoongi looks surprised, but then a smile spreads, and his gaze softens. He wears a large white tee, and he holds his hand out, beckoning Namjoon closer.

"You're naked," Yoongi grumbles, voice raspier than usual.

"Didn't want to put Tae's clothes back on," Namjoon responds as he approaches and joins Yoongi in the kitchen.

"Well, I'm not complaining," Yoongi says as he straightens out and rounds the counter. His shirt goes down to his thighs, and he has no pants underneath. Namjoon wonders if he has anything underneath at all.

"Was I interrupting something?" Namjoon asks hesitantly, trying to cover his nerves.

Yoongi shakes his head. "I wanted to give you some space in case you needed it."

With Yoongi close enough to reach out and grab, Namjoon does just that. "Don't want space," he mutters as he leans to place a kiss against Yoongi's temple. 

"You sure?" Yoongi asks. 

Namjoon detects a hint of uncertainty and wraps his arms around Yoongi's waist, hugging him close. "I'm sure."

With a deep, heavy sigh, Yoongi pulls Namjoon into a hug and litters kisses against his throat and neck, making Namjoon chuckle quietly. It tickles and it feels really nice. 

"I have to work in a few hours," Yoongi mutters against his skin. "Got a couple of appointments."

"Wow," Namjoon teases, "just gonna fuck me and kick me out." He pulls Yoongi impossibly closer, burying his face in thick, soft, dark hair as he grumbles, "You men are all the same."

Yoongi shakes from laughter and nips at Namjoon's neck until he jumps and attempts to pull from the hug. Held in place with Yoongi's arms, Namjoon has no choice but to wiggle around as Yoongi nips at his skin. 

He likes this. Standing in Yoongi's kitchen in the quiet of the morning, still a bit delirious from sleep and from a night of the best sex of his life. He likes being practically naked, wrapped in the warmth of Yoongi's arms, comfortable in his skin. This is something Namjoon thinks he could get used to. And this is even something he anticipates craving the moment he finds himself back in his own home, alone.

"If you aren't sick of me, maybe we could meet after?" Yoongi suggests. He continues to hold Namjoon tight, tickling his neck with his lips, which drag with every syllable. The vibration of Yoongi's voice against his chest is comforting. 

Namjoon smiles. "Imagine being sick of you."

"Yeah? You want to see me again?"

"See you again?" Namjoon asks incredulously, pulling back just enough to look Yoongi in the eye. "I want to recreate last night as much as possible. I have never been taken care of so well in my life."

Yoongi's eyes fall from Namjoon's gaze and trail around the room, and Namjoon swoons over his sudden shyness. "Please, Joon. I'm sure it wasn't that life changing."

Although he knows Yoongi is just being modest, Namjoon feels somewhat offended that he would brush his skills off so easily. It really was top-tier, in terms of how he has been fucked in the past. But he chuckles and lets it go. Perhaps Yoongi is too grumpy in the morning to be reasoned with, so he concedes to allowing him to lie to himself about his performance. There will always be future fucks to gush about, he hopes.

The rest of the morning is slow and easy. He sips coffee with Yoongi before putting on a tee and some sweatpants that Yoongi claims he drowns in, which are still a bit too small for Namjoon. Namjoon kisses Yoongi goodbye and strolls leisurely back to his apartment, feeling a pep in his step despite the slight limp. Then, he gets back to his place, showers, tends to work emails for several hours, before making plans to see Yoongi again later. 

Namjoon Hey, JK! Do you happen to know what time Yoongi should be off tonight?

Jeonggukie 🐰 His last appointment is at 3, so he will probably close up around 6. 

Namjoon Are you in tonight? 

Jeonggukie 🐰 Yes, and yes, I can stall him until you get here, but don't be late! He'll suspect something is up. Come between 5:30 and 5:45.

Namjoon Thanks, Gguk!

Jeonggukie 🐰 You have my hyung smiling like an idiot this afternoon. I take it you had a good night?

Namjoon We did. Hyung also has me smiling like an idiot today.

Jeonggukie 🐰 Good. I really like you two together. I haven't seen him this happy in a long time. 

Namjoon gets to the tattoo shop around 5:45 PM holding a bag of sweets from the café he and Taehyung stopped at several days ago before he came for a tattoo. As the door chimes, signifying his entry, he watches Yoongi twist with a scowl and shout, "We're closing!" before realizing it is him. 

"Sure you don't have time to pencil me in?" Namjoon teases as he makes his way through the lobby of the shop and leans against the counter. 

Jeongguk stands from the chair at his workstation, and waves at Namjoon with a wide, welcoming smile. He is dressed in his standard all black everything with his hair flopping around in large curls at the end, and he looks adorable as he prances over and mutters, "Perfect timing," before announcing that he is done for the night and heading out. 

Yoongi waves Jeongguk off, telling him to lock up, and Jeongguk closes the blinds and does as he is told while Yoongi continues organizing something at his station, all the while Namjoon watches him work. He wears a black hoodie and looks so cozy, Namjoon wants to wrap his arms around him and hold him tight. 

"I was wondering why he wouldn't just leave," Yoongi finally says, glancing up with a grin. Then, he lifts a hand and beckons Namjoon closer. "Get over here."

Namjoon leaves the bag of sweets behind and rounds the desk, approaching Yoongi's workspace, and when Yoongi pats the leather exam table, Namjoon has a seat. Without a word, Yoongi rolls up the denim leg of Namjoon's pants to have a look at his tattoo, then puts on a black latex glove and grabs a small jar of crème.

"Looks good," Yoongi says with a soft smile as he dips a finger into the crème and begins to rub it over his sunflower. 

It is cold against Namjoon's skin, and it feels really nice. Already, some of the ink is beginning to scab, which has become a little itchy, and the crème instantly soothes it.

"So," Yoongi says as he pulls the glove off with a snap. "Did you come in so I could finally pierce your ears? Or were you hoping I would bend you over this table and fuck you?"

Arousal floods Namjoon, making him feel shy, and he lets out a soft chuckle as Yoongi stands before him and crowds his space, pushing his legs spread so he can lean in for a kiss. 

"I was j-just coming in to say hi," Namjoon mutters against Yoongi's soft, pretty lips. 

Yoongi hums, sucks on Namjoon's lip, and asks, "Are you sure? You brought something with you, what is it?"

"Just some sweets from the café."

Another hum from Yoongi's pretty mouth as he says, "You're the only sweet treat I need, silly. Sure you didn't come in looking for another spur of the moment modification?"

To his own surprise, Namjoon wonders if, perhaps, getting his ears pierced would be nice. He is curious about the way a needle might feel, and he has been on quite an impulsive streak, lately. Not to mention, Yoongi told him some piercings would look good.

"Maybe I should let you pierce me, hyung," Namjoon responds, watching as excitement widens Yoongi's eyes and smile. 

Yoongi taps the tip of his nose against Namjoon's and stands back far enough to glance at his ears. "I bet the boys would agree that you'd be stunning."

"Yeah? Should we ask them?"

Namjoon pulls out his phone and begins to text Taehyung, then Jeongguk, despite assuming that they are already with each other. Taehyung mentioned earlier that he would be waiting for Jeongguk to get off work, and even threatened Namjoon's life if he showed up to the shop late, delaying Jeongguk's arrival. Although Namjoon laughed off Taehyung's dramatics at the time, he totally gets it; he was incredibly eager to see Yoongi again from the moment he left his apartment this morning. 

Yoongi leans in to see what the guys are saying and cocks his head to the side. "Why does Taehyung have a present emoji next to his name?"

Namjoon laughs. "Oh, this. Uh, yeah that's actually a tradition Taehyung started. He claimed that each message from me was a gift, and insisted I never change it. And then, from there, I began to save people's names with an emoji that signifies my impression of them. Jeongguk has a bunny, because of his cute front teeth."

"Do I have one?" Yoongi asks softly, and Namjoon thumbs out of his chat with Taehyung to find his chat with Yoongi. 

"You do," Namjoon admits with a shy smile. "But I was actually thinking about changing it. 

"Oh?"

Namjoon opens their chat and lets Yoongi see his name with a sunflower next to it, and Yoongi smiles softly but then looks confused. "Why would you change it?"

As Namjoon opens the edit page and deletes the sunflower, he thumbs through the list of emoji, looking for the more appropriate one, saying "Because I'm the sun seeker, remember?" And then he selects the new emoji and hits save, turning it to Yoongi so that he can see the new name at the top of the screen, which reads "Yoongi 🌞"

Before Yoongi can swoon too hard, Namjoon receives emphatic texts from both boys, urging him to get his ears pierced. And so, it is settled. Namjoon is once again going to do something he never thought he would, and allow Yoongi to modify him a second time. 

Yoongi wastes no time setting up a small station, and marking Namjoon's ears. He even puts paper padding down on the table for Namjoon to sit on, joking that it is there just in case the pain from the piercing turns him on too much and he needs to be taken care of, making Namjoon chuckle.

Although Namjoon agrees to the placement of the dots, he is too tingly with adrenaline and trusting that Yoongi will do the right thing, so he says yes and allows Yoongi to continue without any fuss. They decide on some silver hoops that will hang just a bit below Namjoon's lobe, and then Namjoon hugs the cloth-wrapped pillow tightly as Yoongi begins to line up the needle on the first lobe.

"Take a deep breath," Yoongi says softly, and Namjoon does as he is told. "And breathe out."

As Namjoon exhales, Yoongi punctures his ear with the needle, sending a wave of adrenaline through him—the pain is intense for a very split moment, and then it settles into warmth. The sight and smell of Yoongi's presence does not help the sudden bubbling of desire from the pain, and Namjoon grips onto the edge of the paper-covered leather table with one hand as he squeezes his eyes closed and hisses. He thought Yoongi might be joking when he made the comment about this being a turn on, and now he thinks he might just be onto something. 

"One more pinch," Yoongi informs. "Gonna slide the needle out and put the jewelry into place."

The feeling of the metal sliding through his lobe nearly makes Namjoon shiver, and he bites his lip as Yoongi hums and gently pushes the ring through and adjusts it. 

"How do you feel, Joon?" Yoongi asks, and Namjoon opens his eyes to find him smiling. 

Namjoon's lips are parted as he catches his breath, and he knows that there is an expression of desire painted across his face, judging by the way Yoongi studies him.

"That good, huh?" Yoongi teases, and Namjoon nods. "You look great, baby." 

Yoongi moves in for a kiss, careful not to touch him with his gloved hands but still making Namjoon whimper. He may have been somewhat entertaining the idea of allowing Yoongi to fuck him in his shop, but now he wants it more than anything. 

"Onto number two," Yoongi says as he straightens out and grabs his needle from its spot on a paper towel that has been laid out on the small metal supply table. 

Namjoon attempts to ignore the flow of blood to his dick as Yoongi lines up the second needle and tells him to inhale, but as soon as it pierces Namjoon's ear, sending a rush of pain through him, Namjoon groans, trembling from the feeling. 

"That was borderline pornographic, baby," Yoongi teases. "You do like a little pain, hmm?"

"Yes, hyung," Namjoon gasps as Yoongi pulls the needle through, threading the jewelry into his ear and putting it into place. As soon as Yoongi is finished, Namjoon grabs his gloved hand and presses it over his growing erection, whining, "I like it a lot."

Yoongi wastes no time ripping his gloves off and tugging at Namjoon's jeans to get him to stand. Before he can get his bearings, his fly is open and Yoongi is spinning him around, shoving him into the exam table. Namjoon falls forward against the protective paper that covers the leather as Yoongi yanks his jeans and briefs down, and spreads him wide. 

"This what you need, Joonie?" Yoongi teases as he licks a stripe over Namjoon's hole, making him fall forward and tremble through a moan. Yoongi's tongue is divine as he laps over Namjoon, devouring him.

"Y-yes, god yes," Namjoon moans, bent and eager for Yoongi to do absolutely anything he pleases. It takes a lot of effort on Namjoon's part to pull his long-sleeve t-shirt over his head, and he drapes himself over the table as soon as he does, feeling the cool air of the shop hit his skin and give him goosebumps.

Yoongi stretches Namjoon open quickly, producing a bottle of lube from his desk that he jokes he bought on the way to work this afternoon, anticipating Namjoon coming in begging to be fucked one of these days. And this is just another item on the list of impulsive acts that Namjoon cannot believe he is doing as Yoongi rubs lube-slick fingers over his hole, making him practically scream out into the empty tattoo shop. It takes no time at all for Namjoon to be stretched and begging for his cock. 

This time, when Yoongi slowly pushes his cock inside, he spreads Namjoon nice and wide and eases the metal jewelry past Namjoon's rim without too much discomfort. In fact, Namjoon is still high from the adrenaline of his own piercings, and the additional hint of pain sends him hurtling toward pleasure and he welcomes the hint of discomfort. His cock is pressed between his tummy and the exam table, and when Yoongi thrusts in deep, filling Namjoon just the way he likes, Namjoon melts into the feeling with a sob. 

"Stand for me, baby," Yoongi commands, and Namjoon scrambles to anchor himself up onto his hands and get into a standing position. Yoongi wraps an arm around Namjoon's chest and grabs onto his throat, holding him in place. "Now I can show you what these piercings in my dick are really for."

When Yoongi pulls back and thrusts forward, both metal rings graze over Namjoon's prostate, sending a dizzying, intense wave of arousal crashing through him. He whimpers, "Oh, fuck," as Yoongi thrusts again and again, picking up a pace that has Namjoon's head spinning and his arms dangling at his sides. 

It takes no time at all for Namjoon to hurtle toward orgasm. He claws at the paper on the exam table, falling forward in Yoongi's arms and speaking in tongues with desperate, incoherent sounds bursting through his lungs and lips. Yoongi gently eases Namjoon down and spreads his ass wide as he picks up a brutal pace, moaning his own string of pitchy, whiny noises as his hips begin to lose rhythm.

"Shit, baby, I won't last," Yoongi groans, digging his fingers into Namjoon's ass. "You feel so good squeezing me."

A blessing, truly, because Namjoon is certain he will fucking die if Yoongi makes him cum more than once today. Yoongi thrusts harder and faster, making Namjoon sob as his cock grinds into the table below him. Trembles quake through him as he cums, and Yoongi follows behind quickly, pulling out and spraying the cleft of Namjoon's ass with his release. 

As Namjoon lies against the table with his own release turning sticky and cold against his chest and belly, Yoongi slides out, pulling another shockwave and moan from him. He stays put as Yoongi cleans himself up, attempting to catch his breath, and Yoongi returns with a warm, wet paper towel and carefully wipes his mess from Namjoon, then Namjoon stands and takes the towel so he can clean his own mess from his abs.

Before he can bend and pull his pants up, Yoongi captures his face between both hands, humming into a kiss. "Did that feel good baby?" he has the audacity to ask, making Namjoon blush.

"You know it did," he mutters against Yoongi's lips, smacking a nice loud kiss against his lips before bending to dress himself. 

"We should make a habit of this," Yoongi says as he begins to strip the protective paper covering off the leather table and cover the surface with cleaning spray.

"Yeah?" Namjoon asks, feeling flowers burst and bloom behind his ribs, stretching tall and thriving under the warmth of Yoongi's sun. 

"Yeah," Yoongi says, setting down his spray bottle and approaching Namjoon for another kiss. "Let me take you out. You can stay at my place. We'll have the sweets you brought for breakfast in the morning. And then, we can do it over and over again. Sound good?"

Namjoon wraps his arms around Yoongi's waist, nuzzling the tips of their noses together. "Is this your way of asking me to be your boyfriend, hyung?"

Yoongi grins, cheeks turning a pretty hint of pink. "Will you? I know it's still really soon, but—"

"Of course I will," Namjoon says, cutting Yoongi off and punctuating with a kiss.

Yoongi smiles as they slot their lips together and groans into his mouth. He wraps his arms tightly around Namjoon's neck, and they kiss nice and slow as Namjoon savors Yoongi the way he deserves.  

"Good," Yoongi mutters as their lips part just enough to allow them to breathe in each other's air. "I'm already beginning to fall for you. I can't get enough."

With a deep, happy sigh, Namjoon pulls Yoongi tighter and nuzzles against his neck, inhaling his sweet musk and littering soft kisses against tattooed skin. 

"The feeling is mutual, hyung," he admits with his eyes closed and his heart so warm and full of affection. 

Namjoon never used to do impulsive. He was measured and intentional. Being impulsive felt terrifying. 

But standing in Yoongi's arms, accepting a proposition to jump into something new so quickly, Namjoon thinks he can find new ways of being measured and intentional without holding back. Impulsivity no longer feels terrifying in Yoongi's arms. It feels freeing. 

you have no idea how much i have missed these two, and how good it feels to finally get to wrap up this story. apologies for taking so long! the tail end of 2022 was a whirlwind.

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Sun Seeker is copyright 2022 theharrowing, all rights reserved.

[pdaliceliveblogs]

So.

That was a hell of a thing.

I’m honestly impressed by how many times that managed to punch me in the heart, in different ways— with love, with fear, with fury, with achy mourning.

This wrap-up post is super belated, and some of it was written right after I first watched the ep, and some a good two months later, so I apologize if it’s a little scattered. What an episode, though.

There are definitely places where you can feel the pain of the compression. Both montages felt like they could have filled whole episodes on their own, and the map in a box under the floorboards is weirdly convenient— I’d love to know why it’s there, who put it there, why it’s encoded as a rebus, why there are apparently a bunch of rebuses in Old Gravesfield, and I know that stuff is all going to be left up to speculation. Speculation is fun, and I don’t think everything ever needs an explicit explanation— in fact, it’s a pet peeve of mine when people treat “wasn’t spelled out explicitly” as equivalent to “plot hole”— but this does feel like something they could have gone into more deeply if they’d had time.

That said, damn it was good. They didn’t just make the best of what they had, they made something genuinely fantastic. The kids settling in— everything from Amity’s awkward tea attempt to Willow becoming a Polaroid nerd (hey, didn’t I have in my headcanons/designs post that she’d keep a meticulous journal to show her dads when they got back?) was fantastic, Gus’s conflicting joy at seeing the realm he’d been so curious about and achy sadness missing his dad, there’s so much rich loam there for both wacky shenanigans and angsty character exploration and they managed to hit on both at least a little in the time, which, damn. Kudos.

Luz is such a good protagonist, such a good character, I really love her. Her depression throughout this episode hurt in a really accurate way; she was spiraling and hating herself while at the same time loving her family and her friends, she was struggling to work up the energy to be excited about a couples’ cosplay that would have had her bouncing off the walls a couple months before, she was trying to do what she thought was right even though that was dramatically warped by where her brain was at that point. It would have helped no one for her to stay in the Human Realm. If she was thinking clearly, she’d have known that, and she was very obviously not thinking clearly. It’s, uh, relatable. Not to put too fine a point on it, but the belief that the ones you love will be better off without you is one that’s really hard to shake.

The whole possession thing with Hunter… god. It’s such a visceral horror, being taken over from the inside out, dragged forcibly back into the old you even after you worked so hard to become someone better, someone you like to be. That Little Blond Puritan Clone Boy Cannot Catch a Break, except that he did, for most of the episode, and it was really wonderful to watch him being happy. Let the boy nerd out and cosplay and wear a homemade three wolf moon tee and and cherish the fuck out of his pet bird and fuck around at a thrift store wearing a goofy cardinal kigurumi and pick up a hobby. He’s a seventeen year old kid, he’s spent most of his life as a child soldier for his abusive uncle, and he got to flourish, for a bit. He got to thrive. He got friends, and a family, and a break.

Gus was awesome with him all episode, by the way. Repeatedly dropping hints that he already knows about the Grimwalker thing, not pushing him to explain, just being there for him and encouraging him. What a good friend.

(Side note, I love it when characters who have spent a lot of time together have similar speech patterns, so even though it’s painful as hell when that’s not a healthy relationship it was kind of amazing to hear Hunter go “up-bup-bup-bup spoileeeers!!” and think about Belos doing the dismissive “up-bup-bup” back in YB,OS)

The possession itself (ha, I got off track, sorry) was so well handled to build the slow dread, the pierced finger, the eyes, the creep up the back of his jaw, the layering of the voice. I mentioned it as I was blogging, but the fact that Hunter’s voice remained present the whole time was a fantastically terrifying choice. The whole battle was so gorgeously done, not just the sequence with the incredible animation (though that was definitely a highlight) but the way Belos gloated, his skill at saying exactly the right thing at the right time to fuck with his opponents, and Hunter’s desperate push to tell him exactly what he wanted and try to get rid of him, his own safety notwithstanding.

Honestly, Camila was the MVP of the episode. I loved the deeper dive into her character, the fact that she’s so much more like her daughter than we thought, the issues she had in school and how they were used to manipulate her with her desire to give Luz a better life… but more than her backstory, what made her so wonderful is the woman she is now. Her immediate acceptance of the witchlings, her steady research to try and figure out how to best care for them and for her queer daughter, putting in the work, the coupons, oh ow the coupons, her blasé willingness to find some blood if that’s what they need, her fierce protectiveness, her strong will. It was honestly a delight to get to know her better, and I’m so glad she’ll be there for what comes next.

I think that’s all I have to say right now— one of the side effects of it taking me so dang long to write a proper wrap-up is that I’ve made posts (and written fic) about several of the other things I was thinking about, ha.

I was holding out on checking with my screener about asks until I made myself write this up, so I’ll do that now; if y’all sent me any, I’ll answer them soon <3

[princeescaluswords]

Alternative Belief Systems

With my own eyes, I just had to read a comment on this post that "[Deaton] withheld information that could've helped so he could keep Scott close."

What information was that? The person who left the comment doesn't go into it. People who believe this fanon nonsense never do, because they haven't actually spent any time thinking critically about it. They're looking for a scapegoat for why Scott told the Hales to go get stuffed after they insisted Scott submit to them, and the narrative, surprisingly to them, didn't act like it was a mistake.

You can tell by the phrase "he could keep Scott close." It's pretty obvious what they're implying, because why did Deaton have to fear that Scott wasn't going to be close to him anymore? Did Scott ever express a desire to quit his job? They are trying to blame Deaton for Scott taking a look at Peter "Only the Responsible Ones" Hale and Derek "I Can't Let Her Live!" Hale and deciding to take his own path rather than place his life in the hands of these damaged fuck-ups.

While I think that's their motivation, it still doesn't explain what information that Deaton withheld from Scott. The approach of the Alpha Pack? Derek withheld that as well, so that's not it. The Hale fire? Scott knew about it. The fact that wolves are stronger in packs? Scott knew about it. I feel that they're implying that Deaton should have told Scott to submit and join the pack for his own safety, but that's not information -- that's an opinion.

And, of course, this statement hints at the Sinister Veterinarian theory, the idea that Deaton had his own agenda for which his benevolent relationship with every single character on the show (except Peter and Gerard) acted as a cover. Of course, the people who believe this theory can never say what this agenda could be, as there was never any evidence of an ulterior agenda in the show. The closest it ever got was when Deaton explained in Unleashed (3x04): "The Celtic druids were close to nature. They believed they kept it in balance. They were philosophers and scholars. They weren't serial killers."

Deaton always explained why he did what he did; there was no hidden agenda and thus no reason to withhold information to keep Scott close. Scott listened to Deaton because he agreed with Deaton. I know it's surprising to some fans that characters of color can have their own personal codes of behavior rather that simply do what they're told, but well-designed characters of color actually possess all the capabilities of white characters. It's not actually that radical an idea to believe in helping people grow in order to make a better world instead of executing anyone who could be a threat. That parts of the Teen Wolf fandom can't bend their heads around the idea that there's an alternative to Peter's and Derek's standard tactic of Kill Them Before They Kill You doesn't conjure a subtext out of thin air.

[keepthisholykiss]

Last night I saw Into the Woods for my very first time! I knew basically nothing going in except that it was fairy tales so I was really excited to see if it would be something I like: reader, I very much did. Here’s my breakdown of my thoughts on this production which was inspired by Over the Garden Wall (something i also saw for the first time last year) and was, I hear from my wife, a really good approach to the whole thing. Onto the review (ish idk it’s just my ThotsTM)

Here you can see some of the set pieces and costuming from the theatre’s social media! In the space between the trees to the left there were sets of glowing eyes that would pop up. Once during the Wolf’s song and then another, very big, set of eyes for when the Giant would speak!

I also took the above during intermission. I only took photos during this time (duh) but I really wanted to share how they incorporated Over the Garden Wall. There was a specific whimsy and overall really fun design to all their props and costumes.

The sides of the set had a vine pattern with glow in the dark paint that made it feel both dark and cute! I constantly felt like I really was in Over the Garden Wall while seeing each character’s story, even in the second act. I kept expecting Jack to put a teapot on his head or something!

This theme played super well into their Witch who, before her transformation, was a puppet costume. She looked very similar to Auntie Whispers but more like an owl. She had green or foliage like rags on her and the face was basically a more human looking owl but it was still a puppet, her voice was garbled and there were feathers by her bird talon hands. It was a really cool design and if they ever post photos of it I will be sure to share them!

Everyone had an amazing voice and onstage vibe. There was also a live orchestra (which I’ve never been to before for a musical!) and I feel like it really elevated the experience. I have decided Milky White is the best cow ever and now I want to go down a rabbit hole looking at different versions of her. In the end my favorite characters were the Witch, the Baker’s Wife, the Narrator, and Little Red Riding Hood. Overall I had a really good time!!

[matfinishfuckstheworld]

haven't done enough 'self care' today been just zoomin zoomin zoomin doing chores most of the day (and socialising which is Good but tiring). so. entire meme time.

s/i meme :D

give us a quick run down of your s/i!!

mat finish is basically just my Ideal Self. they are a sadomasochistic hedonist, they are shameless, they are an assassin. all of these are somehow intrinsic to my identity because i've always loved hitmen and to me violence and sex have always been the same thing.

post a meme that describes your s/i.

where does your s/i live? do they aspire to move or are they content with where they are?

mat tends to travel the world and occupy wherever they need to. sometimes they will settle and be a cool city assassin who is tied to a specific mob or similar.

but often they struggle with commitment, just like me, and the natural ebb and flow of attention on their activities leads them to drift around more. it's a necessity more than a choice.

often it's the f/o that makes them want to settle down anywhere.

what's a song that describes your s/i? even better if you have a playlist!

okay here is a random one from their playlist.

leather by tori amos is so good because it is so sexy and so tragic.

i think that sense of seeking sensation in a dizzying way but ultimately falling victim to wanting to be loved tender. it's the thing that is 'missing' for them (not for everyone! just for them).

thats their inherent contradiction.

what is your s/i's profession?

mat is an assassin, but as stated, it tends to be fairly random as to how and what subset. i put them everywhere because most of my fandoms are crime-themed or crime-adjacent, so it is easy to stick them just about anywhere.

what does your s/i have most in common with you? what's different about them?

we both want to fuck the same people lol. we are both desperate for affection.

as for differences... i do not murder people!!! but i am i would say a work in progress who is trying to learn to be less hurtful to the people in my life, and i feel a great amount of guilt for the way i have been in the past. perhaps thats why ive always had an affinity for villainous characters and why i take such a sick pleasure in punishing mat for their extreme and unambiguous crimes.

mat has a higher pain tolerance (and pain/arousal threshold) than i ever could. i'm the kind of person who it takes a few tries to get what i need done at the doctors and thats if i manage at all. i want tattoos someday but i am nervous about wasting my deposit if it's too much for me. so mat is wish fulfilment in that aspect. they are resilient in such a twisted way and i would much prefer that to what i am now. i am soooo drawn to violence and to the idea of having my mind and body made into a canvas for someone elses designs and abuse. but i can't actually do that. :(

as psychological masochists we are about equal, but there's only so much that mp3s can do to my addled brain whereas mat gets real horrible people who want to get inside their mind and do horrible and irreversible things to break them down.

if your s/i was an animal, what would they be?

tricky to say. i think they are dog-coded. this is counter to me as i think i'm pretty cat-coded lol. but call them a good boy and you can see the wagging tail in their eyes!!!

maybe they could be a wolf. (i think so too.) stereotyped as an independent and brutal predator, but actually dependent on the protection of those around them.

how did you get the idea for your s/i's backstory?

mat was originally a vbros oc because i wanted a venturesona who could fuck rusty and brock lol. and there are such sexually charged assassins in the vbros universe. so it was a natural fit for my interests. i decided that because herr trigger was just such a fun design and concept (he literally fucks his guns and i am SUCH a gunfucker.), he was an ideal mentor for them, but generally outside of vbros canon they have a similar figure - a dangerous mentor they are raised by and who is responsible for the death of their parents, someone who is unerringly confident, sexually perverted but without involving them ('daddy needs his alone time with his ak-47 ok why don't you go outside and play with the ice machine'), someone they are all mixed up about - they look up to them, they want to be with them, they want to be them.

mat was intended to be that kind of deconstructive, 'where are they now' look at a specific child hero subtype the way that rusty is that for johnny qu3st. specifically, they are the trained killer girl who is all grown up and had so much transmasc swag that they weren't a girl actually and has a MULTITUDE of intimacy problems that they try to pave over with sensation and sick thrills.

give us an example s/i outfit (or describe it).

mat's signature look is all black. turtleneck + bondage harness that serves no actual purpose except to signal their perversion. big coat that they look a little too small for only further emphasised by the skintight rest of their ensemble. boots! boots.

what are some of your s/i's major skills?

well you see. they are very good at killing people. also masochism-as-superpower allowing them to withstand torture. very silly. but sexy.

what is your s/i afraid of?

their few extreme sources of pleasure becoming dulled over time until the only thing left is to fucking die.

they envy their marks, a lot.

if you had to compare your s/i to an already existing fictional character, who would it be?

well, given their first name and backstory, obviously mat is strongly inspired by math1lda lando. i have... difficult feelings about the film she originates from. i watched it constantly as a child while daydreaming about escaping my own abusive situation some similar way. being swept off my feet by a killer with a heart of gold and granted the power to execute my own revenge against everyone who ever wronged me. and falling in love with my killer mentor too even though they will never love me back.

then i found out about the backstory of why besson wrote that film, and what happened to portman during/after filming, and also i mean i only ever watched the european cut, and it all left such a disgusting taste in my mouth. i felt lied to even though all of the subtext was right there, but i was a kid! i didn't know better! so i guess i was eager to reclaim the feelings i had for the movie as a kid and rewrite them in a way that didn't have a genuinely harmful context.

the roles portman has done as an adult contributed to mat too, at least unconsciously. bl4ck swan is queer psychosexual fodder and it doomed me. and i mean, lé0n is not her only intimate fucked up mentor-mentee movie. v 4 vendetta is too. regardless of how you feel about the changes from the comic, that movie was sooooo much for me as a kid. the mindgames, the transformation through torture, the violent subversion, trans energy of becoming v (even though it was actually the comic that followed through on that properly) it was so formative to everything i value today.

this is the first time i have actually addressed their original inspiration publicly. it's a can of worms i was hesitant to open. in the same sense that vbros played with the kid hero archetypes and made them all fucked up adults with weird proclivities, mat is an expression of just another kid archetype in media, grown up and fucked up. so, in the same sense that rusty is so much more than just grown-up johnny quest, i would ask that mat is not seen as literally mathilda, because... they're not, and i think if they were, that would only be perpetuating the harm of the movie.

mat takes some cues from mathilda, but she wasn't their only inspiration. mat is ultimately just... me. they are the me that looked upon dizzying adolescence (spending most of it as a 'teenage girl') and suddenly being seen as a sex object with decreasingly safe clothing and behaviour options and the victim blaming terror of sexual assault and pregnancy being drummed into me and having nothing but abusive relationships as a model for romance. as an adult, i tried to carve out my own sexuality and vulnerability in a way that wasn't so fucking uncomfortable. i wanted to accept objectification and assault but in a degendered form, in a form that could also be tough-guy masculinity as much as it could also be the penetrability we inexplicably (well, explicably but we would be here all night) read as feminine. mat is the culmination of all of that work and psychodrama and i am rather pleased with how they have turned out and transcended their initial inspiration.

has your s/i's story changed since you created them or has it stayed relatively the same?

the basic premise has stayed the same, but they have different versions for different universes. so, of course vbros has canon characters to take the roles of people in their backstory, and i've been building up their dc version, manikin, solely to selfship with hugo, and then there's their psychon4uts version in the grulovian mob, at odds with the titular organisation.

[the-heart-of-leo]

AO3 First Lines

Rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics posted to ao3. if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics.

(I dislike tagging people but if you want to do this, go ahead! Also, I might end up using the first paragraph rather than the first lines as I tend to start my writing simple. I’ve also listed warnings pertaining to the fic)

1 - The Improbability of a Long Life -  Stranger Things/The Old Guard crossover

Eddie knew he thought about death more than the average teenager. Not in a goth ‘life is misery and death is the only escape’ kind of way but in the ‘if the party dies, what’s a good plot point to let them come back’ or, if he’s feeling bit evil, ‘how cool of a player death can I come up with’.

2 - The Stars in Their Eyes - The Sequel to ‘For Want of a Home’. The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky, Omegaverse Crusaders Era Fic, Non-graphic/implied rape and non-grapic/implied forced breeding toward the end of the fic

Al-Quds was burning.

Even now, with the sky as bloody red as the bloody sand beneath his feet, he could see the smoke rising up behind what was left of the walls.

Al-Quds was lost.

Yusuf sat on his knees and stared up at the smoke, the dark stain of it cutting into the sky as the city glowed in its fiery death. The air stank with the smell of blood, of smoke, of burning flesh…

3 - What is Lost and What Can Be Found -  The Old Guard/Diabolik fic that I probably should update sooner rather than later... as such, I can’t give any real warnings at the moment

Nicky hated interrogation rooms.

They were always cramped, cold, and incredibly boring, no doubt in the hope that when the security officer finally came around to ask their questions, their suspect would be eager to talk if only to break the silence.

Airport interrogation rooms were somehow worse. Smaller, duller, and made all the worse by the inconvenience.

4 - Before the Fall -  Waves/Wolf/Diabolik Kenzarelli crossover - Majid/Gabriele

Getting stabbed was one of the worse experiences Majid had ever had and that was saying something.

The wad of bandages pressed to his stomach and taped in place were doing a decent enough job of keeping his blood in his body but it did nothing for the pain.

"Your dad's a fucking psycho," he hissed at Gabriele. He pressed a hand over the wound to try and keep the bandage tight against his body, to staunch the blood more. "Who the hell just fucking stabs someone! He didn't even say anything!"

5 - For Want of a Home - The Old Guard, Joe/Nicky omegaverse Crusaders Era fic

The fabric was a deep burgundy, stuffed, quilted, and lined with beaded gold edging with tassels at the corners. It was a work of art and far more expensive than anything Nicolò could ever afford. Still, he gently ran a finger over the stitch work, following the line as it crossed over stitches until they formed a diamond in the fabric.

It was so soft…

It could be used as the floor of a nest or maybe even the ceiling if he found a way to hang it up so that it acted as a tent... but that would be so wasteful, not to feel the soft fabric, not to wrap it around them to keep the safe and warm and...

6 - The Sun and the Rose -  Lawrence of Arabia, Soul mark AU, has a graphic rape scene in later chapters

His soulmark was fairly small, only as big as the length of his thumb, but he always thought it beautiful in its simplicity. Gracefully arching lines wrapping around an empty center that made him think of blooming flowers — roses to be specific. Something beautiful and fragile that Ali never tired of seeing.

It was a shock to see the familiar design, pale on his dark skin, reflected in contrast on the sleeping man’s chest. The dark lines against skin still pale thanks to the unflattering uniform, so different from the pale pink, almost scar-like lines marking his own breast.

Lawrence was a confusing creature. Passionate, kind, and foolish in his determination and will. A creature the desert both loves and loathes…

And the one the desert has decided his soul belongs with.

7 - Of Truth and Blood - Lawrence of Arabia, Mild Ali/Lawrence, Character Injury, Past rape, trauma concerning everything really

The blood was spreading.

Ali was sure of it now.

It was on his side, easily hidden by his bisht, by the table, and now by the dim candlelight as the power had finally gone out. The dried blood on the filthy white thawb did a good job of covering most of it and, he was sure, no one else noticed it but him.

Aurens certainly gave no indication of being injured.

He never did.

8 - Persistence of Memory - Power Rangers: Dino Charge/Shattered Grid, Implied Koda/Phillip, Character Death, Character’s unhealthy coping habits

Once something is broken, it can never be put back together exactly as it was.

That was the warning they had all been given when the multiverse was reinstated and when those who had been lost had found a way to return. Those whose power was stolen were given their second chance as well as something close enough to home to return to. The Solar Rangers, their purpose complete for now, had disbanded and joined their first families where they belonged.

For the most part.

9 - Propriety, Modesty, and the Lack Thereof - Power Rangers: Dino Charge, Koda/Phillip, Short fluff, play fighting turned fade to black times.

Prince Phillip had been taught many things growing up as a royal: proper etiquette, modesty, propriety, manners – whatever you wanted to call it, it was how he was raised. Always be well-dressed in flattering but neutral colors, always been well-groomed, to never raise one's voice, always present one's self as being in control: someone trustworthy and regal.

Princes did not rough-house. They did not allow themselves to be manhandled, carried, dragged, pushed, pinned, or any other thing that would insult the dignity of his station.

Which only made the embarrassed flush of arousal worse.

10 - Flowers Bloom in the Scars Left Behind - Detroit: Become Human, Simarkus, Kinda slowburn romance, a year in the life kind of deal, too many pairings to name, drug addiction, etc

It had been a little over two years since Simon had last celebrated a Christmas. His former owner, Amy, had loved Christmas and Halloween and any other holiday that required decorating the house. As soon as it became socially acceptable (and sometimes not), she would start setting things up.

To be honest, Simon had enjoyed it too.

At Jericho, there was no reason for celebrations, nothing to decorate or to decorate with. The holidays were a melancholy time for them all, bringing with them memories that were a mix of good and bad, depending on their previous lives.