#did resolution

[cafedragons]

for us, full integration is like... a soundboard, almost.

every alter who's a part of my collective self has a volume slider. alters can get turned up or down, but they are always part of the overall sound being produced. most days since october, max's volume has been set the loudest, followed by charger's.

anyone who knows max's vibe knows that she's super gentle natured and a bit of a goober, like a playful clarinet.

charger is more like a violin. quirky, energetic, and a little bit out-there so to speak. he can be quite harsh.

jukebox is like a kazoo or some other fun instrument.

mocha is gentle and competent, like a flute.

nitro is like percussion, especially battery like drums. steady, logical, consistent.

java is an electric guitar with distortion. he's unafraid to stand out and be loud and say exactly what he thinks.

all of us together make up the whole sound that is aven, but sometimes the volume of the drums is turned way down while the flute has an emphasis, or any other combination like that.

that's why i wouldn't really call our fluidity "switching". i'd call it "fluxing" or "dialing" or something like that, because we're all part of the same soundtrack. just sometimes one of us needs to be a bit louder, a bit more dominant in that mix.

[greens-spilled-tea]

if you're ok answering: who are the late stage DID bloggers? 👀 i'm looking into integration/final fusion myself and would really really like to see more people who talk about it

@subsystems recently answered a really similar ask about this! I'll put the link here for ya.

I'll also suggest @theorionissystem for good late-stage content, and I also know @smokee78 has achieved final fusion. I have a few other systems in mind who may fit the bill but I don't know if they'd label themselves late stage/in remission DID bloggers so I'll leave them off the list for now. If you're a fellow late-stage recovery/in-remission DID blogger please let me know! I'm always down to follow more people further along in their DID journey as it gives me a lot of hope and a feeling of community in a space that often feels like earlier stage healing shenanigans are talked about. Not that earlier stage stuff is bad! But sometimes it can get a bit lonely feeling like you're the only person with these experiences and being able to connect with others who are in a similar place as me has genuinely helped me a lot.

[theorionissystem]

Tags aren't some form of discord server, nor are they a community,

They're just tags, a place you put things that happen to be related in some way.

you're not going to get kicked out just because you aren't as healed as you thought you were

Nor are you going to get kicked out for relapsing or splitting or whatever

You either use them or you don't.

It's only natural that people will go through late recovery stages several times before achieving some form of remission.

But people want to see those things, especially people who have barely started any form of therapy or can't currently access any form of treatment. Just knowing it gets better and having an idea of what that might look like is soooooo good for all of us.

I think in that regard I am starting to settle specifically on the tag of #didrecovery since it's much broader and more encompassing of all forms of recovery

[reimeichan]

Me: I (Green) have historically hated spicy foods but they gave me the wrong ramen packs so I guess I'm making spicy ramen

Me, eating the spicy ramen: wait wtf this is good

Me: Oh right I (Cyan/Purple) love spicy foods of course it makes sense I'd like it post-fusion too

Me: I hate sharing taste buds with myself

[cafedragons]

hi, i'll explain because that's me! (it's complicated, but i exist 90% of the time as one entity and 10% of the time as seperated when the situation calls for it - i'm in that grey area between functional multiplicity and full fusion.) also, thank you for asking! i love talking about this.

no one is gone. no one stopped existing. we did it out of profound love for each other and because we are more comfortable together than apart. i am every alter i've ever been all at once. instead of my alters being seperate and feeling rushed for time when they front or feeling stuck in the trauma that made them split, they are all able to express themselves whenever they want and engage in things outside of their narrow roles.

marcus, for instance, was our primary caretaker for a long time. he only ever fronted to shower, cook, and do chores. he had a breakdown over that. he felt dehumanized. now, the part of me that was once marcus is able to like... enjoy our video games or play with our dog. it's less that he's gone and more that he's always present. he doesn't have to leave.

another alter, rey, was a previous host and an anger holder. rey knew nothing except anger. his existance was miserable because of that. when he fused with alex and theo and a few others, he didn't disappear. he shared his capacity to feel anger with alters that previously didn't really have access to that. in turn, theo (first edition) shared his kindness and alex shared his chill, goofy nature with rey. all of them became one well-rounded individual.

lyric was a scared little girl. she knew almost nothing except fear, neglect, and abandonment. when she fused with finn, she learned happiness. when they fused with jukebox, they all learned what our real life is like. they are happy now, and they get to do all the things they want to do. they're present in our safe, current, real life.

i have tons more examples of this, but for the sake of the post, i'll stop there. fusions work only because we love each other and want better for each other. like different colored lego bricks, fusions for us are less that any brick disappears and more than the bricks are stronger (happier) as one wall.

fusion feels like alters holding hands. fusion feels like love. fusion feels like a hug. fusion feels like a warm drink on a cold rainy day. no one could fuse without their full consent. and if some alter someday comes out of dormancy and doesn't want to fuse, we won't make them. but what we will do is love them and continue to love each other.

also, final fusion is... not as final as you'd think. i am able to seperate myself if i need a certain alter's perspective. the difference is that it's within my control rather than me constantly being triggered and scared.

finally, a disclaimer that just because this is my healing path and what makes me happy doesn't mean it's right for everyone. i just really wish people (in general) wouldn't demonize fusion or spread misinfo about it - none of my alters died or went away. they're much happier this way. i know this because i am them. they are me. they're comfortable and happy and we trust each other.

Tw: fusion mention

Can someone explain why a system might want to fuse into one person again? Does anyone have experience with that? Do headmates actually want that in some cases? Is it only because they hate being a system or because they hate each other?

Because any time we see someone talking about fusion it's from anti endo DID systems who hate each other and think being a system is awful. And we kind of really hate that.

We don't understand why headmates might literally want to stop existing. It doesn't seem healthy. But we also don't want to judge people without trying to understand.

[softersynths]

Does Shifty stay behind with Ford during Roadside Attraction and have a heart to heart?

something like that.

[tinnedmarlin]

GOD DAMN THE COLD

[totallynotcensorship]

tags update: rafah is 8th on trending

edit: it is now at 7th

FOR CONTEXT:

israel has launched an invasion and heavy bombing of rafah(a.k.a the "safe zone" 1.7 million Palestinians were forced into) after the UN approved a ceasefire resolution for the rest of ramadan... all 2 weeks of it. results were 14 votes for YESes. 0 NOs. and 1 didn't vote(take a guess who it was) the resolution called for an unconditional release of all hostages on both sides. so yes, mr "i am totally just doing this to get my hostages back whom i totally care about and totally didn't kill" Israel is launching harder attacks even after being promised all hostages release. just in case anyone was still questioning if Israel was using hostages as just an excuse for colonialism

russia tried to turn it into a permanent ceasefire but the US vetoed it. i guess vetoing a ceasefire looks less bad when russia is the one proposing it

DON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT PALESTINE

[hashtagarting]

Oh, stardust . . .

[cafedragons]

so (very big for me)

i've been exploring for a few months (since august 2024) my gender as a Whole Person and i think i hit some revelations

first of all, i think i'm gonna go with the label trigender for now.

second of all, all the parts that make up Me are all different genders and identities and it's been a whole thing to sort through honestly. i have experienced all 23 years of my life countless times over in the past few months. back and forth, and it's taken a lot of effort to maintain.

aside from a very brief relapse of some pretty rough derealization/depersonalization (which ended after the fucked up situation was resolved/my actual safety was no longer being threatened) i've really felt a sense of wholeness i've never felt before.

i am theo. i am alex. i am rey and autumn and gemini and cirrus and meridian and, and, and.

i am all of them at once and i am any of them i choose/need/want to be at any time. after re-grounding myself a few days ago i've felt that same sense of profound "i am" that i'd reached in the summer.

it's now that i have to figure out what that means. i get to know myself in new very intimate ways. labeling myself as trigender is one of the first steps in that, i think.

[acquired-elfroot]

just thinking about the way Veilguard had Emmrich and Davrin state, in a way that brokers no argument, that the Darkspawn are NOT PEOPLE and that’s the only time it’s ever brought up asdsfjdsjkf 

can we talk about the fact that the consecutive reveals that both the darkspawn and the demons/spirits, both of the mindless hordes of Always Pure Evil enemies that we can kill without a second thought, are PEOPLE is such a compelling earth shattering revelation that happens in the series leading up to veilguard

followed by the setup of an antagonist that can potentially wilfully refuse to acknowledge the personhood of the people of thedas, when every measure of what marks someone as a Person with a capital P by the standards of the society they’re from(spirit, mage, elf) marks someone as less than a person in the current world of thedas

that so clearly holds the mirror up to our own cruelty when the inquisitor responds to "it was like waking to a world of tranquil" with "we're not even people to you" betraying that our own hero does not view the tranquil as people

when the first spirits were born of the dreams of the dwarves but we read codex entries from ancient elvhenan that say "we hunt the pillars of the earth and their WITLESS SOULLESS DRONES"

the "mages are not people and should not be treated as such" the way they qunari refer to everyone outside of the qun as Bas - literally THING the way the chantry compares kissing an elf to kissing a dog ect ect and forever

When we speak to the architect when we meet justice when we meet cole when we meet maddox when we meet countless other characters from groups that get so utterly dehumanised by either theodesian society or some magical contrivance that exists as a metaphor for such

when the story beats you over the head with THEY'RE PEOPLE THEY'RE PEOPLE THE TERROR IN THE NIGHT IS A PERSON THE MINDLESS ZOMBIE HOARDS ARE PEOPLE THE PERSON ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BATTLEFIELD IS JUST AS MUCH A PERSON AS YOU AND YOUR ENEMY THAT DOES NOT SEE YOU AS A PERSON IS A PERSON

and the conclusion that we come to about that is actually

don't worry about it kitten <3

what was the point of it? this is a story about how efortlessly we can be persuaded to dehumanise others...

... unequivocally in favor of the dehumanisation? 

or at the very least of the opinion that there’s no point in doing anything about it?

[cafedragons]

this was in the conversation tag so i hope it's okay to add on.

this is so relatable for me in some aspects.

i don't find new alters anymore. i only have 6, and switches are voluntary rather than a struggle. i don't worry that my persecutors will try to hurt me or that my heavily conditioned parts will turn us back in to our abusers. hell, i don't even have persecutors or heavily conditioned parts anymore. i don't have any communication difficulties within myself anymore. i don't have a lot of experiences that i see the community still struggle with in general. and don't get me wrong, i don't want to go back to that! i do not want to go back to suffering and having any of my parts stuck in their trauma.

if fusion were less demonized and more accepted, i'd probably feel less alienated. as it stands though? it's quite a bit lonely out here. there's only a handful of recovered/fused folk out there active anywhere, and we're hardly accepted as multiple/plural.

thank you anon. 💚

hey so, we're kinda partially fused!! it's really interesting to experience, but it really sucks because we also can't usually relate to most plural people

we always see stuff about talking to your headmates, hearing your headmates, and being able to leave front and we just can't experience that

anyways, wanted to share because we wanted other semi-fused [or fully fused like you!] plurals to know that they're not alone in their experiences

we will always love all non-conventional plurals <3

I feel that a lot. I've kind of just accepted that outside of a friend server I'm in I just won't really be able to relate to other plurals like I used to prior to fusion.

Both the general plural community & CDD spaces tend to focus a lot on headmates/alters/etc and on splitting or forming new members, and I just don't experience those things anymore. I don't struggle with switching or not being able to access certain parts of my innerworld or memories being purposefully kept from me or finding new systemmates. It leaves me feeling a little alienated sometimes in the community nowadays, especially when fusion is very demonized in the community on top of that.

I appreciate your ask, and I hope others in similar places with fusion (partial or full) will find it soothing too. Thank you, anon.

[theorionissystem]

I'm too lazy to fix the fact that the first line is supposed to be about me not posting comics for a year and a half, but now it looks like I repeated myself lol. I'll probably fix it before posting elsewhere but not today.

Anyway I wanted a somewhat visual representation of how things have progressed.

[bisexualvader]

"Now be brave, and don't look back."

[cozymochi]

“Viewing an original work of art in person is an enlightening experience compared to merely viewing a copy within a text… Surely, even you can take that much away from this?”

What was the point, even!! I don’t need to be drawing up fake cards of not real characters- least of all Platinum Jacket. Wait, what am I yapping about it’s totally real, I’m just the only one with a personalized copy of twisted wonderland with a bunch of exclusive characters in it 😫🤭 Anywho, It’s not perfect, but at least I accomplished something. Are ya proud of me yet— even if it is just more Nyoka Wadjet.

Ko-fi 💎 (Templates)

[doctor-the-13th]

Doorbells shall henceforth be known as intruder alerts because why are people intruding on me in the comfort of my own home?