#disclaimer: my disability is not mobility related!!

[embers--and--ashes]

(Disclaimer - I'm talking about the characters and representation, not the creators in this post)

I am having so many emotions over the fandom's representation of disability because I see so many well done representations of chronic pain and mobility struggles. I see people just casually writing Scar using his wheelchair, writing Scar using a cane, or braces, or magic as a mobility aid in addition to other mobility aids, I see the oxygen tubes. I see people writing in detail, projecting their pain and feeling seen in turn as others relate.

This is one of the only times I casually see mobility aid rep in fanart, fanfiction, and animatics and it's done well. I see people talking about worldbuilding in fanfictions, how the logistics work and whether a sports chair would have worked for the lifegames and how redstone could be used to power mobility aids. I see people talking about how facets of the world could be used for accessibility, technically that riding the donkey *would* be easier than walking, and the use of elyctra as a way to stay off one's feet. I also see magic, when used to supplement mobility aids and as a support, often following spoon theory, which I love.

I'm just giddy at all the representation and feel seen. Not all of the experiences are my own, and it's set in a fantasy world, but bits and pieces I relate to and that is rare and beautiful. Maybe I wouldn't be getting so emotional over this if it wasn't 2:30 am but I am.

[howdoyouwhiskit]

*deep breath* so I’ve been meaning to make a big post about House re:mobility aids and chronic pain treatment for a LONG time so here we go this is gonna be a long ride that probably won’t make a lot of sense in regards to a linear narrative so buckle up motherfuckers

Disclaimer: I am disabled, have chronic pain, and am an ambulatory mobility aid user. I have experience using a cane, forearm crutches, a rollator, and a walker. I understand everyone’s experiences are different. I am writing this from my personal experience with mobility aids which may influence some interpretations of things

Let’s start with the obvious one, House uses his cane wrong. They recognize this in canon. It isn’t simply a case of “oh the show writers were lazy and it’s never mentioned.” What I haven’t seen people discuss is that using a cane the way House does (in my experience anyways) fucking hurts. It isn’t comfortable at all. It feels awkward and clunky and at least personally within a few minutes of using a cane in that fashion my *entire body* hurts. Plus, it doesn’t even really help take the pressure off of my leg pain.

Given the all of him there’s two conclusions that I’d like to make about this (and remember this isn’t canon, just simply my interpretation as a disabled person):

It’s very obvious that House has Feelings about mobility aids. Society can often make people think that using mobility aids is a weakness. Admitting something is wrong. House very clearly doesn’t like to do either of those things. I personally have incredibly complicated feelings about mobility aids that I can’t even begin to put into words. I see myself in House in this regard.

I can’t help but think that him using his cane incorrectly is some fucked up form of self punishment. It’s been brought up in canon that House has a tendency to self harm in various ways. I don’t think that people realizing that him using a cane incorrectly could be related. For those who are unfamiliar, using any mobility aid (even a cane) incorrectly can cause damage. I do not claim to be a doctor but I imagine that House would be dealing with back and shoulder issues at minimum from using his cane the way he does.

The next thought I have is something I think about a lot. It’s clear House’s pain fluctuates, as it does for a lot of chronic pain patients. What I don’t see a lot of people talking about is realistically he could fluctuate mobility aids with the fluctuations of his pain. Yes, I understand there are limitations within his career as a doctor, but this is House MD were talking about there isn’t exactly always exact medical realism is there? I just can’t help but wonder, what would House’s life look like, if he let himself use something other than a cane?

I know there’s an episode where House does use a wheelchair for access to an accessible parking space, and I really really wish they expanded upon this more in canon. Personally, I think House needing to be (but not necessarily acting on it) a part time ambulatory wheelchair user makes sense.

I’ve read some fic/headcanons about House needing a wheelchair (Berber it be due to an advancement in disability or as an acceptance of his current disability) yet everyone talks about him using a shitty hospital grade chair. He’s a doctor who probably has great insurance plus a lofty department head paycheck. If House were in a position to have a wheelchair, he could very very easily access a top of the line custom made chair.

I understand the representation of the standard hospital chair often comes from a place of ignorance about custom wheelchairs, I really do. I just think that the concept of using a hospital chair permanently can cloud the judgement of if it’s truly a “bad thing” or not. Hospital wheelchairs are fucking uncomfortable and not easy to use. A custom chair, when built right, is none of these things.

Just, I’d love more House fanwork that embraces the idea of mobility aids. No, I don’t mean make House randomly decide “oh I’m gonna accept help now” and make him OOC. No, I mean let’s actually dive into House’s feelings about mobility aids, create some fanworks where maybe he works through some of his internalized ableism and self hatred and lets himself be accommodated. I hate seeing fic after fic that makes it seem like it’s some tragedy that House needs crutches or a walker or wheelchair. I want it to be normalized. Disability can be progressive and that’s just life. Yes, it’s upsetting. Yes, it can be sad to those involved. No, it doesn’t mean the end of the world.

Now I think it’s time to talk in regards to the treatment of his chronic pain, outside of the way he accommodates his mobility. I think that, while this is probably related to the writers wanting to stick to the “addicted to Vicodin” plot line, House’s pain management in the series, sucks, to put it lightly. I’ve been to multiple pain management programs (both at formal PM clinics and informal PM done by other specialists) and any doctor worth their salt would have had him on some sort of nerve pain medication and probably some form of muscle relaxer from the very beginning. While, yes, one could argue that House is on these medications and it’s just not mentioned, I really really don’t think that’s the case. You could also argue that he may have been offered these things, and simply refused them. This could very well be the case. However, that doesn’t erase the fact that these things could be helpful.

When House is off Vicodin, they have him substantiating off of exclusively ibuprofen. I’ve had chronic pain bad enough to need opioids treated with high doses of ibuprofen and in my personal experience, it doesn’t do shit. It just upsets your stomach and risks kidney issues and doesn’t actually help with the pain. The fact that just because he deals with addiction he doesn’t get proper pain management is BONKERS to me.

I understand that they were, within the shows canon, attempting to claim that at least some of the pain was psychological. Just because someone’s pain is psychological doesn’t mean you do not treat it. There are plenty of ways to treat psychological pain. Again, one could argue that House simply refused. Again, I’d say that you might be right.

You notice that I say that House very realistically could’ve refused various treatments that could make his life better. Just like how it is with his cane, I believe this is an effort at self punishment. If these efforts at self punishment are conscious or not is genuinely up to you. I personally view it as unconscious, but again, as I said in the beginning, I’m interpreting this the way I see things.

Anyways, just needed to get my thoughts out there, as a crippled person who’s been obsessed with House since before they realized that their chronic pain wasn’t normal. Since before they realized that the word disabled was something that could be applied to them.

Feel free to reply to this with thoughts or questions and y'all are more than welcome to DM me to pick my brain about this!

[lavend-ler]

tips on how to write cane user Neuvillette from a crutch user

Neuvillette uses a cane - and that's amazing! but increasingly I got worried that the portrayal of him being a cane user could be based on harmful stereotypes. hence I wanted to make a list on tips I can give as an irl crutch user

DISCLAIMER - this is in no way exhaustive list and I am no end all be all authority on this. I'm just a disabled person in fandom who is tired of ableism. of course this list can be used for other disabled characters but I esp wanna focus on Neuvillette (cause I love him)

Neuvillette is an occasional cane user (just like me) and that's totally fine. he doesn't have to use it all the time to be "disabled enough". he probably uses it during the days he feels worse

he holds cane in his right hand - that means it's his left leg which needs support (again, just like mine!)

a lot of disabled ppl are prone to the changes in the weather. I think it'd be interesting to keep in mind esp in Neuvillette's case

as long as we don't have the canon confirmation on what is Neuvillette's disability, all hcs are fair game. personally bc I relate to him I hc him with my own disability - arthritis

don't be afraid to portray him using his cane in combat. mobility aids are often used by disabled ppl not only as a support in walking but also in every day things. for example, he could be pushing buttons with it or helping himself while walking the stairs

bend the ableist stereotypes - make him use his cane and be badass with it. esp since he proudly uses it during his burst

canes make ppl more visible. don't fall into ableism and make characters only care abt Neuvillette when they notice him using the cane. if u choose to do so, make Neuvillette remark back, noticing how ppl treat him differently and unfairly

do not make jokes abt his cane. I have already seen ppl make jokes that he's an old man who needs to use the cane. it's disrespectful and unnecessary. don't bring up him being a cane user only when u talk how he's old

canes are very personal. even if others offer help or to hold it, Neuvillette would be against it

on that note DO NOT MAKE OTHERS CHARACTERS TAKE HIS CANE esp if u want to treat this as silly fun or even worse, romantic. Neuvillette's cane is his business and any character taking his cane from him would be extremally disrespectful

Neuvillette might have to take breaks between longer strolls to sit down and regenerate. again, sth that happens to me a lot

tho every character in Genshin has to be quite active, remember to portray Neuvillette to be relaxing too! he can be badass, active and strong and that won't make him any less when he's relaxing. I absolutely suggest u portray how he relaxes after the day and how he takes care of himself. maybe a calming tea or some ice packs - those are definitely great options for chief justice to relax and ease his aches after an eventful day

HERE is another post that focuses on more on experiences of mobility aid users. I find it very relatable and useful, it's a fantastic further read

hope these will be helpful for u! ablebodies please don't derail. other mobility aid users, feel free to add more things to the list <3

[hyperesthesias]

Can you actually write something smutty for Viktor? Or just a guide on how to? I really want to write some Viktor smut, but I'm worried I won't do his disability justice as I'm able bodied and a dumbass

Of my twelve years on this webbed site, this has got to be the best ask I have ever received lmao

I would be happy to help, friend. I'll answer this in two parts.

Yes, I am planning on writing Viktor smut for Viktor x Anya. I had a lot happen in the year since I made the post you're referencing, but I've finally been able to get back into fandom stuff. I wanted to lay some backstory with them first though, as I am apparently a PWP kind of person lmao. It's coming soon! (No pun intended).

You've taken the first great step in recognizing that your experience and knowledge may not be congruent with potential portrayal, and therefore asking for advice. I don't mean to sound patronizing at all. I am an author and I have seen many professional authors that don't do this, so you're already ahead of the game! I wouldn't consider that dumbassery in any way, shape, or form.

I'll put the rest under a cut due to the nature of this post.

*Disclaimer to this is, of course, I don't speak for every disabled person, this list isn't extensive, and these are my opinions.

I, personally, operate under the assumption that Viktor has Post Polio Syndrome. Looking at photographs (x, x, x) it's pretty clear the animators used PPS as a framework for Viktor's movements and posture, as well as his mobility and assistive devices. People with PPS often develop need for braces, canes or crutches, and treatment for scoliosis -- all of which Viktor has. You are more than welcome to headcanon something different, as I don't believe the writers or animators have ever confirmed or denied PPS, but based on my own experience and research, I would bet money on it.

That being said -- regardless of PPS, or otherwise -- the first thing to consider when writing smut for any disabled character is fatigue. It may not be the obvious thing, as mobility devices often are the first thing to catch an observer's eye. But there is so much that goes on beneath mobility devices. Fatigue is a big one.

Consider the worst flu you've ever had -- all the time, every day, even in your sleep. It can be maddening, like you can't get any relief -- even if you take pain reliever or use other analgesics. Most people with a severe flu aren't exactly in the mood to be frisky, especially spontaneously. Many physically disabled people rely on preplanning. Having a date night where they can plan for extra pain reliever, or where they can schedule the rest of their day or week to conserve energy for a special night. The psychological energy that people need to conserve alone can take a lot of effort. Being disabled is also mentally exhausting, especially when you have a partner and their needs to consider. Giving a disabled person time to prepare for sex (or other tasks) is essential.

Related to that, is the fact the energy levels aren't always consistent. A disabled person and their lover could be going at it like rabbits for a while and then suddenly the disabled partner may need to stop because their "battery" (their physical energy levels) has run out. They may need a break for a few minutes, or they may just need to end the sexual encounter altogether.

The worst thing you (or your character) could do is take this personally. It has nothing to do with their partner, it's their body that is (frustratingly [on many levels]) not cooperating.

Something to toy with (no pun intended) when writing characters with energy level deficits is vibrators. Twice the work with half the effort. Don't be afraid to write smut with toys and vibrators -- it doesn't even have to be kinky. Toys and vibrators are normal and vanilla, all things considered. The only reason they haven't been normalized is because of patriarchal standards as to what sex is and is supposed to be.

The second thing to consider is physical limitations of positions and potential discomfort. I've seen several fanfic writers describe situations and positions that Viktor simply would never be able to do (e.g. lifting his partner onto a table or desk).

Viktor doesn't have a lot of strength. That's not to say he can't be rough or that all smut has to be vanilla. But realistically, it's absurd to think that he can lift someone else or manhandle them with any force, or thrust at the speed of light (💀). He also doesn't have any balance whatsoever post Act I. During Act I, he's able to hobble somewhat without his cane, as long as he has something to hold onto, as seen in episode three. But in Acts II and III, his balance issues combined with scoliosis would make any positions where he has to stand much more difficult.

Therefore, if you're wanting to write a scene somewhere outside of a bedroom (e.g. the lab, his office, etc.), he'd need something to balance himself. Seated sex is a great concept to play with -- very disability friendly and offers many options for all sorts of scenes. Desk/table sex is also realistic, as long as your character lifts themself onto the desk or table, and he's able to lean on it.

Scenes that take place in the bedroom also have their own limitations. He has zero use of his right leg, which means he'd need more time to get in and out of different positions. Missionary would take a toll on his back, I'd imagine, from being hunched over -- not that he couldn't do it at all, but that was more of a sidenote. Having your character straddle him, while his back was supported, is probably the most comfortable position I can imagine. Or spooning. Or maybe doggy, though I think his back and hips might get tired. But I'm just spit balling at this point. Utilizing objects from the setting is important -- pillows, having your character bent over the back of a couch, etc. This is where creativity comes in -- it's just important to keep in mind where his limitations are located on his body: his back and his leg/hip.

There are also adaptive devices for sex and disabilities.

One final thing I want to say is: don't overcorrect. This is common. It's one thing to keep a character's disability in mind, but it's another to make a disability the entire character. Just because Viktor is disabled doesn't mean he can't have the filthiest, most disgusting, raw, life changing, I-should-visit-a-confessional type of sex. However you headcanon him to be in bed is exactly how he can be. If you see him as a cruel Dom, he absolutely can slap the shit out of whoever has the pleasure of being beneath him, while he makes them beg for his mercy -- with his back and leg supported. If you see him as a bratty sub, he can be that, too -- while he lies there with a back pillow to relieve pressure off his spine. If he's the plainest, blander-than-vanilla type of lover, that's exactly what he is -- while he takes a few extra minutes to move from one position to the next. If he's any combination of those things, more power to you.

The point of writing a scene, is the point you're trying to make. Meaning: a lot of writers worry about conveying ideas and settings perfectly and with detail, while losing sight of the main point of their story. Rarely will you ever have to add paragraphs to a piece of writing in order to convey something, especially if it's not the main point. Often, it only takes one or two sentences. Keep the main point of the scene in mind. If you're writing a fic where Viktor and your character are secretly getting it on in the lab, then the point and the idea of that scene is the forbidden sex they are having. Not necessarily his limitations. You can easily acknowledge Viktor's disability by saying something like: 'Viktor sat on a chair at the far end of the lab, away from the door's line of sight. He leaned his back against the seat, allowing his spine to settle, before he coaxed his lover onto his lap. His lover straddled his legs, reaching to kiss his neck, while his hand trailed up their thighs...' You've successfully conveyed the limitations he has in two sentences, while maintaining the focus of your scene, and without reducing Viktor to a caricature of his disability. Less is more throughout your fic.

As a side note, which is completely my headcanon -- and something I've vaguely alluded to in my Viktor x Anya fics -- is that Viktor also has erectile dysfunction as a result of the PPS. Polio is a neurological virus, meaning is attacks the nerve cells, the main cause of the atrophy in PPS. It isn't common, but it's not uncommon for males with PPS to struggle with ED. As such, in my own personal stories, I have mentioned that Viktor takes medication to help with it. Sildenafil (the generic for Viagra) is a medication that specifically targets nerves.

That's my own person interpretation, though, and has no bearing on what we seen in Arcane lol.

To close this off for now, I want to reassure you that your efforts count and they matter. No one will write any depiction of disability 'perfectly'. Disability is unique to every person, and one person's spinal disability will look different to another's. Even people with the exact same diagnosis and prognosis will differ in how they experience it. You're not a dumbass. You're very intelligent to recognize the need for external resources. Enjoy yourself, enjoy the work you write, and keep asking questions.

If and when you decide to write your Viktor smut piece, I would love to read it. And likewise, if you'd like to read what I write I'd be happy to send it to you! If you're comfortable coming off anon, you can message me privately and we can talk more!

[krtart]

Writing Blind & Visually Impaired Characters

A while back, someone asked me if I could share some of the resources I use. I figured maybe other people might find it useful as well! ^_^ Due to computer switches I could only trawl through the last ~5 years of research, but it’s still a fair collection.

(Obligatory disclaimer: I am not visually impaired! I just try to listen to people who are. The vast majority of these are written by and/or for people with visual impairments.)

.

Vocab

American Printing House key definitions — Wayback machine

.

Blogs, posts, essays, and speeches by folk with visual impairments

General sites:

Mimzy Writing Online (masterpost for writing blind characters) — Wayback machine

Where’s Your Dog — Wayback machine

Albinism Up Close — Wayback machine

Specific posts:

Why blindfolding yourself is misleading:

NFB member John Pere’s video & transcript — Wayback machine

Graduate researcher Arielle Silverman’s video & transcript — Wayback machine

Blind physician — Wayback machine

Missing eye / monocular vision — Wayback machine

Driving with albinism — Wayback machine (chronological series of posts, next post link is at the bottom)

.

Posts of unknown/mixed authorship

Writing blind characters (tumblr thread) — Wayback machine

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Sighted guidance

How to Be a Sighted Guide by Vision Loss Resources — Wayback machine

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Long cane use

Care and Feeding of the White Cane: Instructions in Cane Travel for Blind People by Thomas Bickford, hosted on the NFB website — Wayback machine

.

Orientation and Mobility

This is the term for specific training around navigating the world with a visual impairment. It will be a useful search term for you.

Additionally, I have purchased the O&M training course Step By Step that was published by the American Printing House. The actual video training modules are incredibly clunky to navigate through, and personally I’ve never had the patience. I’m also not comfortable redistributing their whole product like that.

But… the pdf study guides from the program are useful on their own, and those I will share! (Especially since they used to be available for free on the APH website. >_>;)

These are from the second edition.

O&M Training study guides (Internet Archive access)

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Careers

American Printing House career connect — Wayback machine

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Cooking

NFB: Suggestions for the Blind Cook — Wayback machine

APH: Safe Cooking Techniques — Wayback machine

BBC: Article about a blind Master Chef contestant — Wayback machine

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Visualization tools

For remnant sight and color blindness.

Visual acuity simulator — Wayback machine (icons at the top switch between vision charts & illustrative photos, bar at the bottom adjusts acuity)

Color blindness simulator — Wayback machine

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Thinking about disability

These aren’t specifically about visual impairment, and include other physical disabilities as well as autism.

But they’re important voices to hear, and can be useful for framing your understanding and general approach.

"Don't Mourn For Us" by Jim Sinclair — Wayback machine

“Confessions of a Bitter Cripple" by Elizabeth Barnes — Wayback machine

"If you can do X, why can't you do Y?" by Mel Baggs — Wayback machine

People can adapt to and accommodate for more than you might think (tumblr thread) — Wayback machine

.

And finally, some related tags on my personal blog: Disability | Disability rights | Writing resources: disability | Accessibility

[theyre-free-therapy]

Having a Higher Needs Day So...

If you’re an autistic or otherwise disabled selfshipper, this one’s for you. Disclaimer that these are self-indulgent and things I need, but you can turn these around if your F/O is autistic / otherwise disabled (just don’t be weird about it if you aren’t).

❀ Imagine your F/O helping you communicate on days when it’s hard to speak. ❀ Imagine your F/O punching ableist pigs. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you cook your safe foods because some days you don’t trust your coordination skills near a stove. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you remember important things because you feel like you can’t take in another word. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you decorate your mobility aid. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you seam rip the tags out of your clothing. ❀ Imagine infodumping to or with your F/O. ❀ Imagine your F/O giving you space when people get overwhelming. ❀ Imagine your F/O punching ableist pigs again. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you through a meltdown, whatever that means for you (I like soft music and space to stim and pace). ❀ Imagine your F/O reminding you to take care of yourself when the executive dysfunction hits. ❀ Imagine your F/O helping you pick out aids/stim toys. ❀ Imagine your F/O understanding you and your needs, even if they seem childish (I have a Blue’s Clues board books with pops because it’s good for stimming and Blue’s Clues is a SpIn). ❀ Imagine your F/O giving you the repetitive housework, like dishes or laundry (if that helps you). ❀ Imagine your F/O aiding you without trying to mitigate your experiences. ❀ Imagine telling your F/O how they can help you in hard moments (great for when you don’t know what you need, since F/Os can be really calming and help you think). ❀ Imagine your F/O biting ableist pigs, for good measure.

Feel free to add on, these are from my personal experience (and relate mostly to the tism because I’m having a day). I might add more myself but words look like mush right now.

[fansplaining]

dear both, thank you so much for your recent disability and fandom episodes, it’s so much appreciated. but the amount of times elizabeth said “not to center myself/my experiences…” only to then do exactly that was a bit frustrating. i know it’s probably to relate to the guests and their lived experience, but why not just say so. anyway, this does not take away from my gratefulness that you two tackled this important topic and centered disabled perspectives.

Hi anon! Elizabeth here. Thanks so much for your kind words about the episodes—we're very glad to hear that they're appreciated. <3

As I was editing the audio, I did notice that I was using that phrase repeatedly, and yeah, I do regret not just...saying the directly relevant thing that connected our participants to my own lived experiences (as Flourish does at one point in part 2 without disclaimers). And I was thinking about why I felt so compelled to couch it that way—I'm still not wholly sure, but I do wonder if it's about a reluctance to claim any part of a "disability" framing when it comes to myself. For the physical difficulties that I share with some of our participants, I always think of them as "this post-concussive shit I have to live with," even when that shit is debilitating or bars me from certain social (and even professional!) situations. For my struggles with mental illness—and especially for my experience in a mental hospital—it's not something I like to talk about, period. Just mentioning it on the podcast, even without a scrap of detail beyond "this happened"...was distressing. Writing about it here is distressing. But Rebecca was describing something directly relevant to my life, so I used that to frame my question, and her answers were very valuable to me personally.

I think there's a delicate balance in these kinds of episodes—Flourish and I do have to situate ourselves to some degree (throughout the race and fandom episodes, we're always popping in with "as white people," which I think is pretty important for a white-person-hosted convo about race) but we also don't want to take up too much space. I don't think we always get it right, but we do always try. And I think this repeated phrase reflected my uneasiness about my positionality—throughout the episodes we discuss not knowing what it's like to use mobility aids, for example, which is also bringing ourselves into the discussion? So why did I feel the need to slap up a big disclaimer when describing something that could actually be framed as a disability? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Idk idk.

ANYWAY, SORRY TO NAVEL GAZE, but you did hit on something that I struggled with putting these episodes together, and I wanted to offer a bit of what I've been mulling over. Thank you again for writing in, and I hope what I write here makes sense.

[lesbianchemicalplant]

I tried writing a post to organize my impressions after watching The Fly (1986) a little while ago, but it became unwieldy and is now buried somewhere in my drafts. this has also become unwieldy but I'm posting it this time

overall it was great, one of the better horror films I've seen personally. I was more upset by it than I thought I would be (because of it's strength, not because it was bad.) (also I know I know, what did I expect, but....)

contains personal tangents, CW body horror, ableism

so for a lot of the time while watching, the film made me think of disability

I don't talk about it on here much, it's relatively minor, but I have chronic physical issues with my shoulder/arm (it's complicated, stuff pulls on other stuff, also worse some days than others, stretches and exercises are helpful for it). and I think there are broad allusions to disability and ableism, not just (or even mostly) things that specifically apply to me. but I also personally saw myself in Brundlefly more than I expected along those lines

in no particular order (sorry for the very literal superficial tvtropes style listing)—

an accident, an injury, a progressive condition

social shame and isolation

adjustment and recognition of new and changing physical limits. looking in the mirror, trying things out. (the Brundlefly Museum....)

mobility and accessibility aids: the gloves, (iirc) at one point using two canes as a sort of walker....later adapting to walk on all fours, on the ceiling

adjusting to new ways of taking food, basic needs of life, but apologizing for it to Ronnie (“it's disgusting”)

explicit comparison to cancer (“No. I won't be just another tumorous bore, talking endlessly about his hair falling out and his lost lymph nodes. I know what that's all about and I won't go through it”)

how they talk about Seth to people who aren't in the know, or are only partly in the know. Stathis initially fears he could be contagious (“typhoid mary”); later, speaking with the doctor, Stathis and Ronnie refer to Seth as “deformed”, that the fetus could also be deformed

fear of being [seen as] less human

as a disclaimer, I had some pause about the last one when viewing the film this way, since Brundlefly is referred to as literally less human, by Percentage, by “genetics”—especially since Seth himself warns that he is less human and likely to be dangerous and violent because of this (“insects don't have politics”)

but I don't think that's borne out or what the film actually does. Seth doesn't actually seem to be less human on an essential eugenicist level—because of those anxieties, Seth is desperate to be human the entire time, all the more so as his body continues to change. his violence is not mindless or asocial. even his violation of Ronnie's bodily autonomy, preventing her abortion and kidnapping her to physically fuse with her body, is heinous specifically along social, misogynistic lines. none of the concerns of contagion or eugenicist danger from essential monstrosity are substantiated, only social violence

(and imo, Seth's later actions are not so surprising from what we know about him from earlier on? like, the entire time, he is perhaps a little self-centered or selfish (I mean this gently, in the sense I can also be selfish, and a lot of which is just from him not being around other people much)....which is innocuous and even relatable to me at first, but dangerous as he becomes more desperate)

anyhow not confident in any of this but just wanted to get this out somewhere. I vaguely know ableism looms over horror and especially Body Horror, but I haven't done even the basic film crit readings (part of why this is non-rebloggable. if anyone has any reccs please let me know!!)

(also: as well as disability, a lot of specific things reminded me of or in some cases seemed to intentionally allude to addiction, e.g. the mania and sugar cravings? and there are similar/overlapping anxieties around social contagion etc. there as well, but I think that's much less thematic and more in passing than the disability/ableism. I've never done stimulants other than cocaine though fwiw)

[crippleprophet]

homegrown health literacy part 0: mac is Just Some Guy, i swear

hello and welcome to my Just Some Guy disclaimer! if you’re seeing this on your dash / my blog / etc organically, the context is i will be delving into more posts on health literacy soon, and want to be transparent about my qualifications and lack thereof, positionality, goals, etc, so i’m creating this post to link back to.

most importantly, i am not trying to misrepresent myself as an authority on healthcare, disability, medical research, or your experiences. rather, i am trying to disrupt the positioning of healthcare professionals as authorities. i absolutely understand that i’m not capable of meeting everyone’s access needs (although please let me know about other people & organizations’ work that i can promote!) but i want to do what i can to empower people to understand their own healthcare in order to better self-advocate or have others advocate for them.

so! as i often say, i am Just Some Guy on the internet - i’m not a healthcare professional and have not been one in the past, i don’t know everything, and i especially don’t know all of the particulars of your situation. i don’t want people to be forced to take their doctors at their word because of inaccessible healthcare information and societal ableism; this doesn’t mean i think every word out of your doctor’s mouth is necessarily a lie.

it’s also important to note that i support & affirm people’s decisions not to learn more about their healthcare, question their doctor’s statements and decisions, etc. rather, i want us to live in a society where such decisions are made from a place of informed consent & genuine desire to limit engagement in one’s healthcare, not from social pressure to defer to medical “authorities” which makes doing otherwise unfathomable.

with all of that being said, if you’re interested in my experience with these topics, i’ll list the info i feel is relevant without doxxing myself lol. i’d like to note that i deeply respect independent researchers and self-taught (or often more accurately, community-taught) community advocates; just because my experience is within academia doesn’t mean that’s the only or the best way to learn these skills, and it often if not always instills biases against disabled people (among many other issues).

bachelor’s of science in biomedical engineering including courses on biomechanics, biomaterials, and other healthcare topics taught by a former medical school professor

half of a master’s degree in biomedical engineering (15/30 credits or 5 classes) before having to drop out for health reasons, including a course on rehabilitation engineering taught by a former medical school professor

research focus on low-cost mobility aids, including for my undergraduate senior project. i received a national undergraduate research award and multiple grants from my university for research projects

National Science Foundation Research Experience for Undergraduates (NSF REU) participant; i was paid for ten weeks of full-time research on a project related to healthcare and mobility. my boss was a licensed physical therapist and physical therapy professor with a doctorate in neuroscience

master’s degree in disability studies; i conducted individual interviews and focus groups with disabled people for my thesis

my girlfriend of 6 years who i live with is a third-year medical student (as of february 2023) and we regularly discuss (and critique) her course material, in addition to me asking her to review information i’m unsure about

8 years & counting of lived experience with chronic pain, chronic illness, & medical neglect. i’ve spent about 5 ½ years in disability spaces and learning from other disabled people in person & virtually, and my gf & i have dedicated significant time to researching my symptoms and test results for almost two years (in addition to retroactively researching previous procedures & diagnoses while unable to access care for a few years)

you’re welcome to dm me or send an ask if you have any questions! some information that would super indicate my identity i’m not comfortable sharing, but questions about learning particular research skills etc i’m happy to answer

[divinatorydoll]

chronic illness, disability + astrology: 📝

here's a thread i wrote two years ago on twitter about the different ways chronic illness + disability can show up in astrology !!

DISCLAIMER:

i have fibromyalgia, hashimoto’s, and epilepsy. i will be speaking more towards the issues i have personal experience with

this info should be used for self-exploration, not diagnostically. if you think something’s going on with your body, go to a doctor !!

if you’re able-bodied, please take the back seat in this conversation and listen to the disabled dolls

to my chronically ill and disabled babes: i’m not gonna be able to cover everything in this thread, please don’t hesitate to add on your personal thoughts + experiences !!

now without further ado 🧿 let’s start off with locating disabilities in the chart and what disability is characterized by

CHRONIC ILLNESS:

when it comes to anything chronic, saturn (♄) is the primary contender. saturn governs chronic illness, restrictions to the physical condition, and disabilities in general !!

as a result, it’s position in the chart is often very informative of the “big issues” you may deal with in regards to your specific chronic condition(s)

in the chart, saturn is the nexus for hindrances to bodily function and vitality. saturn is related to any problems with weight, poor circulation, any form of deficiency, fatigue, and physiological impediments

EXAMPLES:

i have a 10H gemini saturn — i use my cane to help with walking due to my fibro pain and my weight fluctuates a lot !! the mobility (♊︎) in my legs (10H) is limited (♄) because of a neurological issue (♊︎) that causes widespread pain (ruler in ♓︎)

i also have a 12H mars in my saturn dasha chart, so it makes sense i dealt with so many hidden (12H) diseases (♂) that wouldn’t come to light until i was older (saturn dasha)

MOBILITY + SENSATION:

mercury, the 3H, and wherever gemini is located in the chart are the main focuses here !! mercury (☿) deals with the general nervous system, neurological disorders, gross + fine motor function, and what we do with our hands.

your relationship with sensory stimulus can also be shown by mercury !! if you struggle with sensory processing issues or overstimulation, look at the relationship your mercury makes with neptune (♆) and the 12H — including objects in the 12H too !!

EXAMPLES:

my 7H mercury is in pisces — in regards to my walking + coordination (☿), my balance (7H) is unstable (♓︎). on top of that, my 3H starts in libra !! signifying that balance (♎︎) is an important focus for me mobility-wise

my 7H pisces mercury inconjuncts my 12H leo moon — i most often become overstimulated (♓︎) in social situations (7H) that are too noisy (☿) !! aspecting my 12H leo moon, this adds onto the fact that i‘m very sensitive (12H) to loud noises (♌︎) in public spaces (☽)

PAIN:

now pain is a more layered experience, because there are several different types of it !! we have a few places in the chart to look at:

mars

saturn

the 12H

mars governs sharp, disruptive pains — especially any pains that result in redness or swelling !! mars is going to be the center for anything inflammatory or autoimmune in the chart. from headaches to rheumatological diseases, that’s mars !!

while mars represents pain that has a “come and go” nature, saturn presides over dull, heavy + chronic pains. any pains that are particularly resistant to treatment or just plain difficult to manage are within saturn’s realm of influence !! saturn rules persistence for a reason

that being said, i imagine that mars - saturn aspects would be especially indicative of having a long-term autoinflammatory disease — especially those related to the head and bones !!

now with the 12H, it doesn’t just represent physical pains that are uncontrollable, hidden + widespread — the 12H has much to do with the collective emotional pain we have to deal with as disabled people.

when you’re disabled and/or chronically ill, it can feel like you‘ve been taken hostage by your own body. the 12H governs imprisonment, being physically restrained; feelings of sorrow + isolation. this is often why the disabled experience feels so isolated

WELLBEING:

aside from disability specifically, the 6H is always a great place to start whenever you’re interested in evaluating your corporeal health + preferred treatment options !! the 6H governs hygienic routines, general health, illnesses, disease, and medical care

EXAMPLE:

i have a 6H neptune at 10° aquarius — literally nothing works for my joint pain (10°) except for warm baths, smoking weed, and tea (♆).

a 6H neptune is a great marker of efficacy in holistic + water-related treatments. if you have this placement, you should try to stay very hydrated !!

KEYWORDS:

mercury: sensation, speech, coordination, motor function, nervous system

mars: sharp, inflammation, autoimmune, fevers, headaches

saturn: chronic, disability, weight, treatment-resistant

neptune: despair, overstimulation, sensitivity, isolation

my linktree

book a reading !!

[the-fandom-crossroads]

I know Disability Pride Month is almost over but I decided I wanted to share some of my Disabled OCs. Specifically the one's with physical disabilities as all of them have some sort of mental disability. AKA I have ADHD and physically can't write characters with a normal brain cause i still don't understand how those work.

Disclaimer! I am not personally an amputee and I don't currently require mobility aids. So if my descriptions of scifi versions of these aids are missing something you think a scifi version Must have. I apologize.

Feel free to share your Own disabled OCs in the reblogs!

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Deaf Ship Maintenance Tech (They/Them)

Universe: Star Wars

Born in the Clone Wars Era this kid grew up under the thumb of the Empire. They've always wanted to fly ships but settles for working in a ship yard. The Empire nor the Rebellion want them. The Droid binary to text screens are deemed to be to slow of a way to translate comm chatter between ships in the middle of an emergency. And fellow crew members would literally need all hands to navigate those situations and wouldn't have time to pause to sign orders.

I like to think they eventually join a civilian crew and become it's solo repair tech. The ship gets it's lights upgraded to RGB so instead of just changing colors for a red alert they have other alerts too. A civilian ship is rarely getting into dog fights (unless it's secretly a rebel ship) and the Techs job would be to focus on any damage the ships computer reads out and determine what needs to be fixed then and there.

Communication wise they know BSL Basic Sign Language and the 1's and 0's of binary even if they can't hear the beeps of it, and can speak basic but rarely do. Working in a ship yard it is assumed there are loud noises around that would drown out their voice. Their work goggles have a prototype version of the ship lights alerts installed. They light up and then dim when a message is coming through the comms. This gives them enough time to look at their wrist comm to text screen as the message comes through. The Yard Manager has a custom color to warn them the message is urgent.

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Double Amputee Black Market Android Doctor (She/Her)

Universe: Detroit become human, but it also fits cyberpunk 2077 just fine

She was working her way up to being a legit Android medical professional up until an accident in college cost her, her legs. On her way to getting her cybernetic replacements she learns how corrupt the system truly is and decides to go without the replacements. She finishes college but instead of working for one of the big companies she goes off the grid. She instead repairs deviant androids in the city and is the only Doctor any of them trust.

She's sort of a Doctor meets Hacker since the companies go the John Deer approach to right to repair. Making it impossible to fix any code related virus' without knocking down a few firewalls.

She has two chairs. A smaller one for use in her apartment that's more like a computer chair with a roomba for legs aka omniwheels that just needs a remote control joystick to move through the apartment in all 4 directions. And a larger more traditional one for leaving her apartment. This one is the super scifi tricked out one that basically has an entire computer strapped to the back of the chair to allow for on location hacking. can switch from self propelled to motorized with steering attached to each arm rest like some mowers.

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Last one is a Mute Druid Cleric (They/them, He/Him)

Universe: Fantasy, but the ttrpg side of fantasy

This one isn't as well fleshed out, but think Little Mermaid meets Sandman from Rise of the Guardians. In making a packed with his god for more magic he gave up his voice. Druids are known to be able to entrance people when they speak so losing their voice is cutting them off from half of their spells. But the deal does double his magical reserves for other spells and he develops simple image illusions like Sandman for easier communication. Allowing the party to communicate with NPCs that don't speak common and none of them know the language of. Also allowed for silent party communication during stealth missions.

They cast spells based on hand signs and ancient runes. He also had a telepathic link with his patron deity so he could call upon it for boosts to his current spell casting.

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Like I said these aren't All of my disabled OCs. just the ones that stuck out off the top of my head. For example I was in a Sci-Fi table top campaign and I slipped a prosthetic leg into her character sheet design. But the campaign didn't go passed 2 sessions and so it wasn't brought up. The character also just sounds like a mesh of the first two and I didn't want it to seem like a rehash.

But what do you guys think of these guys? If there's anything I got wrong in my wording or is an unhelpful stereotype. Please kindly leave a correction in the comments. I love to learn about this stuff and I never want to speak over someone who has actual experience with these disabilities.

But please feel free to describe your own disabled OCs! I feel like Disabled OCs should be discussed just like canon disabled rep is discussed during this month. That normalizing disabled OCs can be just as helpful at making fandom spaces inclusive.

[disawakenings]

Rules & General Guide (mobile)

      this may be updated as needed; excluding when i just nitpick the wording/fix typos etc, i will announce the changes. thank you for reading through.

NOTE:

THE MUN AND THE MUSE ARE BOTH OVER THE AGE OF 21, AND REQUIRE THAT ONLY MUNS OF THE SAME MINIMUM AGE INTERACT. This rp blog will heavily pertain to darker themes, and may not be for the squeamish.

The Basics

Canons from fandoms and OCs are both welcome. I will be selective in following back, especially with highly active multimuse blogs. If I don’t follow back you’re more than free to send asks and respond to opens IC. I might continue our threads, but mutuals will be prioritized and threads with non-mutuals will be shorter.

Feel free to post starters or IC banter at me, toss something in my askbox, etc. whenever you like. Inform me if you do so just in case I miss it; and yes, by all means plot OOC with me! No need to ask permission or apologise to drop in my IMs, the door is open my friend.

I don’t expect people to match my post length. It can range from a sentence or two to a novella. If you’ve a preference in length, be it short or long, do let me know.

Courtesy, OOC Conflict, Etc.

If I decline something you suggest to me (such as a plot or a meme you send in, a relationship dynamic) and you nag me to change my mind or anything similar, I will not appreciate you for it. If you worry I’ve forgotten or lost interest in a thread, be kind and ask me. If it’s not fault of memory it is likely a simple lack of muse, or motivation.

Don’t godmod, don’t metagame, blah blah blah. Common courtesy and all that shit. No hostility or passive aggression, no drama. Be straightforward with me. If I’ve done something to upset you or you have genuine criticisms, I want to hear them crystal clear.

I will avoid engaging in callouts though will observe the situation for my own. I do not condone purity culture and consider it extremist. If you have any grievance with me, please just communicate with me. Be straightforward and actually talk with me through the problem. I’m tired.

Romance, N.S.F.W. Content

I am open to shipping, but I ask we discuss it OOC beforehand and write out the development IC. And know ahead of time that Revelation is not in a state of mind or circumstance to be a good/healthy partner. It will be a drag if you’re here for instant cuddles and steamy times. I like writing relationships that are complicated if not outright toxic, but I’m also soft for warm and fluffy romance as well. Variety is what makes the soup taste good. And patience.

Intimate relations will be awkward on Revelation’s end. Do not expect my explicit writing to be highly graphic, or to solely focus on said graphic content. I will still focus highly on the behaviour, psychology, and chemistry of/between muses.

Mun Activity, Disclaimers, Etc.

I will not always be active, due to IRL matters, chronic disabilities, and sometimes I’m just not in the mood for a certain muse or even rping in general. Feel free to remind me about our threads etc. but again please don’t pester or guilt me. It will not spark the muse back alight.

 I welcome constructive criticism and advice, and am more than happy to offer my own if asked. To learn and to teach is a wonderful thing. Let’s tend one another’s creative gardens.

I am comfortable writing most any kind of serious/heavy concepts, any and all of which I try to approach with tact. I understand that you may have different limits and boundaries in this matter.

Note that any scenarios, and character mindset/beliefs/actions/etc. are meant (if meant for anything significant) to inquire and speculate the nature of humanity and the universe as a whole. I explore this far more deeply in my personal writing than roleplay because it is easier that way to be avoided by those who do not want to consume such stories. It may be delved into to some degree here of course, so again I warn that this muse may not be for hearts that feel the hurt strongly.

That’s a lot of serious blather, I swear on my LIFE that I love love love lighthearted scenarios and comedy as well! In fact I kind of thrive on blanketing all the doom and gloom with hilarity. Revelation might not be aware it’s comedy though.

Common Tags for TS ( will be “#[word] tw” i.e. “#bunnies tw”):

If you need anything not listed above tagged, please let me know. The list will be added to as needed. Bolded are topics that will be delved heavily into regardless of how often, italics mean it will/may be frequent. Both means Beware! Look Out, Oh Shit It’s Everywhere!!

Anonymous Asks

As with my feelings on conflict between muns please be courteous. If you are upset, angry, or hurt by anything I have done or said, I want to meet on equal ground, no weapons of the word needed from either party.

I do not want to turn off anon. I understand the fear of backlash without that privacy. If it is repeatedly proven that it cannot be used in a reasonable and peaceful manner, I will revoke that privilege. Please, I implore all, be communicative, not combative. We can be better at building than breaking.

     If you have any questions, want to establish a plot or IC connections, my askbox and messages are open. 💙

I don’t require you send me like a cryptically-specific message to prove you read the rules, I trust you to locate and read through either the desktop or mobile version of this.

                                              But you Should send me spiders.

                                                                                                      For good luck.

[convexers]

on goodtimeswithscar and wheelchair/disability representation in fanart / fics

goodtimeswithscar is disabled and i feel that sometimes as a fandom we just collectively choose to ignore that, which can be very yucky and uncool of us. we should acknowledge the fact that, yeah! he's disabled and adding that representation into character designs can be super beneficial to not only the disabled community but also people who arent disabled! having that representation in fanart and fics can educate people who only know very little about scar's particular condition, granted the fancreator had to have done their research and done it well.

hcs!!

i made some headcanons to inspire and encourage some of y'all to make your own or maybe even use these (if you do use these please @ me and link the post, i would absolutely love to see what y'all create)

i have not included headcanons about scar's feeding tube just because i don't know enough about feeding tubes and what i've read hasn't been all that helpful ._.

- last life / 3rd life

he goes between a proper wheelchair and a horse (yellow snow) or a llama (pizza) when on an animal he has a saddle / chair thingy that supports his back and has the strap like his irl chair has (couldn't find if there's a proper name for the strap)

yes i know it's practically impossible to get onto an animal when you are a full-time wheelchair user, but in 3rd life scar had grian to help and in last life scar is a wizard so maybe he uses one of his crystals/a levitation potion to get up on a horse.

life is very hard for him on last life because there's no 'easy' way to be a wheelchair user especially when alliances are always changing and theres not one set person to help him with the Daily Struggle of being disabled combined with the constant need to run around.

prev hc is also a great reason for his absence in session 7! he was so drained from the toll of losing all his lives and chaos that he hunkered down somewhere real hidden and took that day to rest and gain his bearings emotionally and physically.

scar's oxygen tank in 3rd life is a compact oxygen tank, he often had trouble with it on pizza because it may be compact but it's still clunky. in the sand castle there was a designated room for the oxygen tanks when they were used up and where they waited until they were refilled. he had about three or four in the room. scars wheelchair had room for two tanks so he'd take that around the desert instead of pizza cause she did not like having more than one tank.

in 3rd life scar's oxygen tank is a crystal (much more compact than an actual tank, but holds the same amount- almost like magic!!) which floats next to him and connects to the cannula just like a tank.

- hermitcraft season 8

he has a wheelchair-like mini swaggon!! maybe the boatem hole helped scar out and made the swaggonchair (trademarked term now lmao) easier to use and enderpearl & elytra (no idea how the elytra would work with the swaggonchair) compatible! that's why he dies to the void so much because everything comes at a cost :)

he uses his swaggonchair to transport his mini swaggons to other hermits (that with a combination of the llama)

scar loves his company car, he likes collecting modes of transportation and eventually he'd like to make them all enderpearl and elytra compatible but he doesnt know the toll it'll take on him to do that because the boatem hole already saps a lot of his energy, but the deal of an upgraded chair was too good to pass up.

scar's oxygen tank is very similar to his oxygen tank in 3rd life, he just has a lot more because he travels much further.

medical storage / hospital swaggon perhaps?? maybe all his villagers are disabled too :) he wanted people like him. i'm calling it, one of the villagers will have ONH (optic nerve hypoplasia) because i want my representation lmao.

-

please reblog 🥰 much love!!

-

EDIT: looking back on this post it has a LOT of issues but i dont have enough spoons to go thru it and pick it apart so look at this with the intent of learning some new things while also considering i was harboring some ableist views that i hadn't realized were there at the time

[humbletumblecrudi]

Hi, this is my first time ever requesting something so I'm sorry if I don't give enough detail. I'm disabled in real life, so finding fics to read that accurately represent my experience are hard to come by. I'm a wheelchair user, however I can stand. I'm also visually impaired, so I have special glasses to read and really get around with. I'm just going to get to the point and ask if you could do head canons with a non binary reader on how azul, silver, and leona would kinda help them get around the school? Maybe how they would deal with people who tease them as well? Please and thank you ❤️ (apologies for any grammatical errors or anything, I'm half asleep)

- 🫧 (idk i like this emoji)

🫧 Anon, this spoke to me on a personal level and also sang to me. It means so much I am one of the first you trusted with such a request, and I hope I did you justice! ⊂(・﹏・⊂) I have impaired vision as well, but I'm not as severe that regular glasses with high specs can't help it... I also made all levels of motor and optical disabilities able to read this work, just choose which one feels closer to your experience!

Synopsis: Azul, Leona, and Silver show how they would help their partner across the school, and how they handle their bully!

Ships: Azul × GN!Reader, Leona × GN!Reader, and Silver × GN!Reader

Disclaimer: Reader has impaired physical mobility and eyesight, and I included multiple layers for different levels of severity (read the part that aligns with you the most)! Reader is also not adverse to touch, they just have to get permission. (I am no expert on having to need a wheelchair and such, so I'm happy to say that I was able to embody people learning to help their significant other)

🍵 Azul Ashengrotto

○ Azul greets you merrily each time he sees you, in or out of your chair! You can usually hear him if you enter the Monstro Lounge, him entertaining the customers of course, but he's always the most soft for you.

○ The Monstro Lounge does have short elevations of level to separate the bar area and the main floor of the cafe, and if you need any help up, he'll gladly lend an arm. 

○ If you do not wish/cannot get up to the next level, he will join you upon the main floor and greet you affectionately in your chair. If you're even willing to stay a while, he'll pull up a chair and sit at one of his tables with you to talk, he's not going to force you to stare up the whole time.

○ Always asks you if you'd like any help wheeling across campus, as this college can be large and quite spacious. If you're walking next to him with/without a cane, simply for a short distance, he will not hover and will allow you freedom; he trusts you to know his limits, and you must trust him to know yours!

○ Depending on your visual impairment, he may be a bit more concerned for you. But rest assured, he knows properly how to deal with blind to visually impaired persons, as the sea is full of all kinds of life that he and his mother worked with that had similar situations.

○ If your vision is blind or near blind, he can be slow and expressive quite easily: he has heels that click, he has a suit and scarf that flap and rustle, he has a voice of a performer and stage-host! He is also always asking as best he can for your permission to do anything, and can still slip up sometimes; but he's much more prepared than you think.

○ If you're not blind but a part of the large stigmatism group, he can easily relate to your struggles. His kind has naturally bad vision, and he might need glasses on land forever, but he will not compare your situations. He has more common sense than that. 

○ In private, he's already gotten the motions down for helping you if need be, he's just a bit more emotional if you two are in private.

○ He's not perfect, but I will say he's very prepared and was brought up by a very supportive mother!

○ And a bully or rather rude individual? He's already handled it, if you tell him.

○ Azul had a change of heart after his Overblot situation, and is proactive in some anti-bullying practices at school. Anti-bullying, meaning sicking the twins on them and perhaps even spreading a rumor or two about them! You see; breaking your glasses as a joke, and stopping your chair from moving by holding the bars…

○ That's not behavior befitting of anyone near his dear partner, and he'll make sure it doesn't happen again. You now have glasses from a more comfortable frame, and you now have an upgraded walking cane just in case… knees need breaking.

○ But in the end, his forehead kisses goodbye are saccharine and genuine for you…

🍹 Leona Kingscholar

○ I'm so sorry about this; Savanaclaw is probably the worst dorm to be in sometimes, and it's not the most wheelchair friendly… if at all friendly to begin with. If was practical made for the abled bodied and active people here, it's… gonna be rough

○ Well, if you didn't have the support of Leona (and Ruggie, and Jack) around here. If you are truly unable to move your legs, there are very few elevators around Savanaclaw and they are all in the central building. If you're able to walk, it might not be so bad… but dragging around your chair over every rock output will suck.

○ So, you might get Leona walking around you and asking, with a sigh, if you want his help getting around. He's not upset with helping you, he's just silently regretting taking you here for a nap…

○ Of course, if you allow him to carry you, it's literally no issue at all for him. He's strong and has great balance as an athlete (if you need his help), and your chair is safely levitated with magic behind him like it's nothing! Don't worry, it'll be fine herbivore, drop your concern…

○ Leona is the rash type, but he's not stupid. If you vision is blind to near blindness: he always announces his presence upon entering your space, but might touch you by accident with a hand on your shoulder or with his tail. Sorry about that… he'll fix that, he really does care. He has no problem at all with helping any other astigmatism type, he might find glasses cute on you if anything…

○ Leona sometimes wishes to meet in places without the stone ledges, the wooden open-gap stairs, and the rope bridges. It's a hassle for the both of you, no matter the severity of your disability, and can often sometimes lead to him feeling bad for taking you there…

○ So he's going to stick with taking you to the botanical garden or even just the main campus' yard, it'll save both of you the finicky work of trying to levitate your chair over the bridges and into the rooms without hitting the door (Ruggie and Jack always volunteer to help carry, and that's up to you, but sometimes Leona is all there is on hand). 

○ Leona likes to nap and be stationary, so you don't have to worry about him moving away from you too much. If at all. He'd more likely curl into you if you lay down with him.

○ He'd take laying with you over walking anywhere, anyways. So he'll lay just about anywhere you want to stop and rest: the courtyard grass, the bushes in the botanical garden, or against a tree.

○ Now, he's got good hearing… and if his ears catch a Savanaclaw student insult throwing at you two while on one of his naps, he'll be upset. His pride is being tested, and taking a partner in you is not something he regrets or will take shit about. Because you're his, and he yours.

○ On a regular day, Leona isn't around at all times so you might wonder why he is late for your short, few hours together… and then he strolls up, forty minutes late, with magic practical radiating off of him like a firecracker. But he says he's just fine, got out of Spelldrive practice early.

○ But his smile is genuine, and Savanaclaw members giving you a respectable berth of space is nice (but if only you knew).

☕ Silver

○ Contrary to popular belief, the Briar Valley is very forward for supporting individuals and their needs. Just not if it's in need of anything technical or electrical based. And Silver is very respectful, if not a tad bit too eager to ask questions.

○ But asking questions can never be too bad if it's to make you comfortable, he thinks. He asks about your sight distance (if you're not fully blind), he asks how strong your legs are and how far they can carry you (if you haven't explained you're fully paralyzed), and much more.

○ Silver has seen generals with missing legs, ex-commanders blinded by magic, and possibly just common disabilities all around the Valley, but everyone has strong magic at home. Levitating for those unable to walk, magic fields to read who or what is nearby, and limbs made of pure magic and some sort of metal or wooden limb…

○ (If you're a normal human) He knows magic can not fix all your problems and pledges to be a part of your life positively and without strain to you both.

○ If you're blind or near blind, he's very quiet… you might have to ask him to announce himself sometimes. But he wears nearly all leather and marches like a soldier, you know someones there, you just can't tell if it's him or Sebek. If your astigmatism is not on that level, he doesn't react to your glasses much. But will make note that Sebek's father wears glasses too, and fa–Lilia wears them to read sometimes.

○ Silver is weary of having to carry you, for obvious reasons. He doesn't know if carrying you (if need be) will end up with him falling asleep so he tries really hard to avoid it if you two are alone. You two might need to talk about his and your worries, and you might have to be comforting him about this. He just… doesn't want to fail you…

○ Your first test is probably to have Silver help you set-up your chair and gear, and to help you in and out of it (just in case of emergencies). 

○ You found ways for this to be successful, so you test his escorting skills: Silver only carries or helps you down stairs if it's those large ass Diasomnia stairs that curve. If you can walk, it's just Silver helping you down stairs without rails. If you can't, it's Silver carrying you up a bit and back down to train how to carry you.

○ Ultimately, he enjoys the help. He always was a more hands-on learner and he thanks you, with that stoic face of his, from the bottom of his heart for the experience. And for allowing yourself to be in such perilous hands such as his (be careful Silver, you sound like Sebek)... !

○ Tell him it was nothing, you trusted him and he did well. He might want to hug and just rest his head on you for a bit… and that leads to him falling asleep on you, even if just for a second. You make him feel so whole inside.

○ Bullying… that's a hard topic for Silver. Silver is very bull-headed and one-track minded, and believes a lot at face value (look at Leona's Ceremonial Robes card). He might not even get why you're upset at first unless you say the obvious words for bullying, such as: harassing, heckling, shoving, grabbing, et cetera.

○ Don't judge him too harshly (he was lied to by Leona so obviously, and he still fell for it)... He will do everything in his power to stop these bullies of yours, and protect your person as well.

○ As a Diasomnia student, his reputation precedes him, and within a day it seems like nothing had happened and the people were silenced. Silver is pushing you through the halls for you to relax in his room, when Malleus passed you both. And you could have sworn you saw a flash of a pleased smile across his face as you wave to him. 

[thatreallyminecraftsmygender]

Fuck it, Docm chronic pain

what up we don’t talk about disabled hermits enough and I have some headcanons for yous

Disclaimer, I don’t use prosthetics or cybernetics and my primary pain is not nerve pain, so this post won’t focus on the specifics of that, it instead talks about a more general chronic pain over view!

Arm and Leg

An overview of the pain

Okay so doc’s chronic pain stems from the way his cybernetics connect with his nerves. If he over exerts them or over uses them or doesn't care for them properly, they hurt because they the nerves are almost overloaded and over worked.

And sometimes thy just hurt for no reason, they just hurt because they hurt.

It doesn’t take much for them to start aching, by the end of the day they’re usually pretty sore. There is a progression of pain, first the area surrounding the cybernetics gets really sore and often tender and hyper-sensitive to touch. Then if he has a day where he does’t do anything to manage the pain, he starts getting shooting pains up his arm and leg. If he pushes through, become all across his body and the pain can result in muscle cramps from tensing. If it gets to this stage multiple days in a row it can result in muscle soreness and muscle exhaustion.

Like he will get the Worst knots in his back from cramping due to pain, heat is his go to for that.

Eye

So it’s similar to the arm and leg regarding shooting pains and face cramps if overworked, but I think the overworking would come from lots of changing in focus points and light levels. So working on something that requires him to fly up for an overview and read small instructions is fatiguing, and going into lots of different light levels is also taxing on it.

Really dramatic and sudden light changes mean the eye can’t keep up and the So sometimes it doesn't adjust properly and can make things really painfully bright. Like look at the sun bright, which can be inescapable if the eye Malfunctions. He’s had bad experiences with it in the past so now he’s pretty damn protective of it

Living with it!

Pain cycles

An effect of being in pain a lot put also being very focused and (maybe overly) goal oriented and focused on efficiency means he doesn’t always Listen to his body. A lot of the time he doesn’t notice the extent of the pain until he takes a break an assess his body,,,, which has the unfortunate side effect of making him reluctant to take breaks when he’s very focused on a project - because if he acknowledges his bodies protests it means he’d probably have to stop work for the day. But pushing through the pain makes lowers the bar for pain the next day, which can result in a cycle of pain and pushing through. Where he overworks one day, and then the next day the threshold for overworking is lower.

He used to have this problem a lot more but know he recognizes them and actually takes care of his cybernetics a lot more. But he can fall back into Bad habit if he’s stressed

Function

 this is where i fudge things about cybernetics  So i think he has to do calibration exercises and limit tests semi often. When he’s trying to break a pain cycle it can be a way to test how he’s recovering.

He sometimes finds it extremely frustrating because it’s motions that other people, like touching his fingers to his thumb and some days he just can't.

Its the thing he find most frustrating. The pain is bad but the worst thing about when he over uses his body for the day is at some point it just stops working well enough to be usable, his hands won't respond properly, or it'll start shaking so much he can’t work.

He also struggles with water related activities. He can get them damp can for a bit but if he’s on a high pain day and the water is saline, it can exacerbate and mobility difficulties, and if it gets inside the cybernetics? That can be Rough.

Other Hermits

He doesn't talk about it much, because he 1) its just part of his daily life and simply a part of his existence, a fact for life and 2) he doesn’t like other people feeling like they need to baby him. Not that they would, but it’s more for his own mind. He prefers holding the cards close to his chest in terms of expressing pain.

But the people close to him know to check in relatively regularly just so they know where he's up to.

I’ll go into more about the other hermit and some more day-to-day things, like grumpy doc and Doc’s tell for when he’s in pain, stuff about other hermits helping with maintance as well. Feel free to ask me or suggest ideas!

Also, if you have more experience with nerve pain specifically or have prosthetic feel free to correct me or add specifics!

[storybookprincess]

Hello, I hope all is well! I wanted to ask for your opinion on something. Recently, I watched Canvas on Netflix, which is a short animated film (9 minutes) that has a wheelchair user as it's protagonist. In one scene, where the protagonist was looking back to a person they loved and thinking of them happily, he stood up from his chair in his mind (you may just wanna watch it yourself because I'm probably explaining it bad). I wanted to support this film for it's black representation, but (1/2)

worried that it may be promoting harmful ideas against disabilities. May I ask for your take on it? (2/2)

i’m really glad you reached out with this question!!!!  it’s def something worth considering & i think just the fact that you’re asking it is a v good thing!!  i want to start with the obligatory disclaimer that i am not the official designated voice for all disabled people and/or mobility aid users.  i am just one person & my opinions do not reflect those of everyone in the disability community.  also i haven’t seen this short film, so i’m not speaking from a place of real authority on the text itself, either.

all that being said, yeah, i think the implication that mobility aid users have a secret mental fantasy in which they don’t use use their aids, or that they wish they didn’t use their aids in the context of a relationship, or that the power of love somehow “heals” a disability is a little questionable.  i think for many of us, our disabilities are parts of our identities that we embrace, and i know that i personally don’t spend any time whatsoever fantasizing about what life would be like if i were able bodied.  i often use mobility aids or experience symptoms of my chronic illness in my actual dreams, if that gives you an indication of the extent to which i’ve assimilated my disability into my sense of self.  so yes, i do think that the implication that we envision ourselves as able bodied as some sort of ideal is questionable at best.

however, i don’t think that necessarily means we have to throw the whole short film out.  no piece of media is ever going to be 100% ideologically pure & i think it’s possible to enjoy & appreciate works of fiction that have occasional problematic elements.  i’ve noticed this trend over the past 4-5 years in which people expect their stories to have perfect representation across the board, and if they don’t, that story & anyone who likes it is cancelled.  i just don’t think that’s a particularly healthy or productive way to engage with fiction.  if you enjoy the short film as a whole, i think it’s perfectly fine to continue enjoying it even with an awareness of the occasional harmful trope.

we all draw the line about what’s acceptable at different places with media--it’s a very personal choice whether you continue to enjoy & support a work despite disagreeing with aspects of it.  it’s ultimately up to your judgment, but i don’t think you have to throw this whole film out because of a brief sequence you disagree with.  speaking for myself, it doesn’t escape my notice that all three of the main antagonists in heavens arena (excluding hisoka) are physically disabled & that their physical disabilities are their weapons (one uses a nen powered wheelchair, and the other have abilities related to limb amputations).  do i love that aspect of that arc?  no, not really.  it doesn’t sit right with me.  but i can acknowledge that problem & still love hxh and enjoy the heaven’s arena arc.

this answer is getting a bit long so to wrap things up, yeah, that trope sounds a little problematic, but you can acknowledge the flaws of a piece of media & still enjoy it.  if you enjoyed the short film as a whole, you don’t need to cancel it over a brief sequence you disagreed with.  we can hold in our minds an awareness of a work’s flaws & an enjoyment of the story & that is 100% a-okay.