#distributing to bookstores is so confusing

[em-dashes]

btw, fellow canadians, SUDDENCE is apparently technically on canadian amazon, but it's "temporarily out of stock." also, it's about 50 cents more expensive than i have it listed, which leads me to believe it was just converted from the american price.

what i'm trying to do is to get it on indigo. i'll have to email them about it, but if you want to, you can try requesting the book and see if it works! and report back to me bc i want to know if it works too lol

[deadeyezine]

Frequently Asked Questions

What is DEADEYE: A Wild West Life Zine?

DEADEYE is a small-scale fanzine featuring the Traffic/Life series through the themes of a classic American Wild West setting. The project will feature a dual-theme of High Noon and Moonrise:

DEADEYE will be featuring a dual theme across the contributor works: High Noon and Moonrise.

High Noon is evocative of heat: of dry, sweaty deserts. Red clay, the sun’s hot gaze on the sand. The silence of the endless sands and the loud bang of gunpowder. Sepia and warm toned color palettes. 

Moonrise is reminiscent of ghosts: gothic horror, Romance, just a little bit spooky. Searching the shadows for things that don’t quite belong. Cool and silver-toned color palettes. 

Why did the name change from Cemetery Sarsaparilla?

During the project planning, we continued evolving the ideas of this zine and found a new way to reflect its shiny western heart. We apologize for any confusion and have made sure all socials reflect this unexpected change!

Will collabs be allowed?

Yes! They’re not required, but will certainly be welcome. There is no greater world-building/story to this zine outside the loose confines of the Traffic series and the dual themes: you’re welcome to explore these however you’d like.

What will be allowed in DEADEYE?

Submissions must be related to characters, interactions, alliances, or settings from any of the Traffic Series. This can be interpreted loosely and doesn’t need to adhere strictly to canon; it’s up to individual contributors to decide. We’re looking for pitches that are grounded in western themes and tropes, but pieces do not necessarily need to be realistic to the time period. Have a little fun with it, and if you go too far, the mods will lasso you back in! :)  

The M-rating for this project includes romantic encounters (shipping is welcome in your pitches!), depictions of guns/weapons, blood and mild gore. More content warnings will be made available leading up to and included in the final release for your consideration. Explicit sexual content and graphic gore will not be included.

What is a zine?

The name “zine” comes from magazines. Ultimately, zines are a genre of small-form, self-distributed booklets, illustrations, recipes, poems or stories: whatever you really want them to be! You can find them shared in online spaces, small shops, or pinned to cork boards at your local coffee shop, bookstore, or art retail store.

Fanzines carry many of the same elements as your standard zine: instead, the contributors are working together under a common fandom, character, etc. The Life Series fandom has a stunning, expansive array of fanzines and collectives. For DEADEYE, we’re eager to embrace the authentic, rugged charm of hand-made zines and the beauty of the wild, wild west.

What is the timeline of this project?

This is a highly-sought question! We’ve made some changes to the timeline to add more time for creation and to accommodate the size of the modteam.

Moderator Applications: Feb 21 , 2025 - March 7, 2025

Contributor Applications: Mar 31, 2025 - April 14, 2025

Application Responses Sent out: April 23, 2025

Creation Period: May 7, 2025 - August 20, 2025

Tentative Release Date: September 22, 2025

We’ll be posting announcements around some of these key deadlines, so make sure to follow @deadeyezine on whatever platforms you use if you’d like to stay close for the ride.

What are the qualifications to apply?

Applicants must be 18 or older at the time of filling out their application to be accepted to work on DEADEYE. We understand this is a change from the previous direction and we appreciate your understanding.

Additionally, we’re asking all of our contributors to either already have or make a Discord account, because Discord is the primary platform that we'll be using to collaborate and communicate. 

Will this zine have a physical product / merchandise?

At this time we are not planning on printing any copies of the zine, or creating physical merchandise. The final zine will be a digital product available for download.

Thank you so much for all of your great questions and for your interest in this project! If you have more, please let us know. Until then, we’ll see you at the rodeo!

[literaticat]

I realize this may be a tough question to answer but when pubs buy a book for world rights, do they typically distribute in many places? I am an author with a big 5 UK pub for world rights who lives in the UK temporarily but I’ll be back in the US by the time my book comes out. Of course I’d love to see my book in the US.

OK soooo I am going to try and explain this simply, but it might get confusing, apologies in advance!

If your UK publisher has World Rights, that means they can:

1) distribute their version of the book (English language, UK cover, etc) anywhere in the world, AND,

2) license the book to other publishers to create versions of the book for that other territory. ie, a German Language version from a German publisher, etc. (This can include a license to a US publisher to create a US version!)

I bolded the word "can" above, because "can" is not the same as "will." They WILL likely distribute widely in the UK and UK-commonwealth countries, and try to license the North American/US rights to a US publisher, who would then distribute THEIR version widely in the US/North America.

It would be the same going the other direction, by the way -- and this actually totally makes sense. US publishers have a robust sales, marketing, distribution system already in place -- they have accounts with every bookstore in this country, etc etc. UK publishers have that for the UK... but of course they don't have it for the US, or vice versa!

So that's the ideal scenario -- UK publisher deals with the UK, and either their US arm or a different US publisher makes a US version to sell directly to the US market. Bing bang boom.

If that DOESN'T happen for whatever reason -- like all the viable US publishers pass -- the UK version CAN be sold in the US. So US readers will be able to get the book on Kindle or Audible, or order physical copies. But it probably won't be stocked in a lot of bookstores the same way a US book might be unless the stores happen to have a relationship with YOU and order it specifically to stock -- simply because that UK publisher (probably) doesn't have US sales reps and whatnot to tell them about it and encourage them to order it!

Sidebar: You didn't ask this, but I think it must be said: If you had sold UK/Commonwealth rights ONLY to your UK publisher, that would mean they could NOT sell the book in the US. It would be on you/your agent to find that US publisher -- and if one could not be found, US customers would be unable to buy the book on Kindle, etc. They could still order a book from a UK bookstore -- but it would not be available in a regular way in the US at all. Likewise, if a US publisher only has North American rights -- they CAN'T sell it in the UK.

(That isn't to say you should always sell World or World English Rights! There are very good reasons to go for North American or UK only -- you just have to be aware that the rights/territory thing means something!)

[ctrlzirl]

Fires of Passion, Ashes of Hate III

Previous part Next part

Summary: Lovers (mentioned) to enemies.

Warnings: Hate (?), blood, injuries, and cursing.

notes: Kaz’s pov. Flashbacks are in italics (and separated so it’s not as confusing!) This is also not my fave, but definitely not the end. I think I will add two more parts.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

He was taken aback upon returning to his office. He anticipated she would clean up, but the speed at which she did it surprised him, especially considering her current condition.

He hoped she suffered while cleaning.

The room greeted him with a transformed aura, and the absence of his bedsheets caught his attention first. Emitting a frustrated groan, he headed to the bathroom, half-expecting to find the missing sheets adrift in the sink.

The diluted acrid aroma, a blend of faint metallic and medicinal notes intermingled with the scent of blood, assaulted him. It teased his nostrils, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake—a unique freshness saturated with chemical nuances.

He didn't have to play the guessing game; that unmistakable scent was her customary "solution" for banishing bloodstains from fabric or similar items.

She had given him the recipe- if you could even call it that, for this solution a few years ago.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

They had been on a job, interrogating a member of an emerging gang that took pleasure in causing havoc for The Dregs, and it had gotten ugly very quickly.

Upon returning to Kaz's room, he swiftly approached the sink, eager to salvage his dress shirt from the stubborn stains of dried blood.

Futile attempts at scrubbing failed to free the shirt from the stubborn bloodstains. Turning to him, she asked if he had any hydrogen peroxide in his office.

She quickly retrieved the bottle from where he directed her, “Got it!” she said as she returned to the bathroom. Once back to his side, she outstretched her arm, wordlessly requesting his blood-stained shirt.

She poured a small amount over the stains on the shirt, and they both observed the peroxide fizz as it reacted with the blood.

As they waited for the blood to vanish, she explained that hydrogen peroxide is effective in removing bloodstains from clothes because it breaks down the proteins in the blood upon contact, aiding in lifting the stain.

Ever since that day, he made sure to always have a bottle in his office.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

The realization struck him like a lightning bolt. He always had a bottle tucked away in his office, especifically, in his desk. He hastily released the bedsheets he had been holding, allowing them to sink back into the solution. He walked out of the bathroom and headed straight for his desk, the loud thumping of his heart echoing in his ears.

“Fuck.” He didn’t have to reach his desk to spot the portrait and the note that now rested on it.

In her gracefully hurried, all caps handwriting that he had grown accustomed to, the note conveyed a simple message: ‘Thought you hated this.’ The letters maintaining their characteristic slight tilt to the right.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“You can’t know that just from my handwriting, Kaz.”

“But I can, love.”

Kaz constantly sought new methods to read people better. Recently, he had come across a book dedicated to deciphering a person's personality through their handwriting in a bookstore.

Initially, he dismissed the idea, but considering the contracts he dealt with—agreements on distribution, territory allocation, sales, ownership of buildings, quit claims, and more—he decided to delve into the book. To his surprise, the insights proved to be quite valuable.

"Alright then, Kaz, what secrets does my handwriting unveil?"

His gaze lowered to the note in his grasp, scrutinizing each nuance of her penmanship with thoughtful precision.

"Your handwriting slants to the right, suggesting you're friendly, social, and impulsive."

He pointed at the note, feeling her body shift closer to him. Her warmth and scent enveloped him as she peeked over to try and see her own handwriting.

He cleared his throat before continuing, "Block letters can indicate that you repress your feelings, often due to a sense of suspicion or defensiveness."

His eyes lifted to meet hers, and for a moment, he found himself captivated. She focused on the note, her hair cascading down, framing her face, while a few strands on the other side were gently tucked behind her ear. Her brows furrowed in concentration, and her tongue peeked out to wet her lips as she rested her chin on one hand, absorbed in studying her own handwriting.

Her lips moved, but he paid them no mind. He felt like he was seeing her again for the first time, his gaze lingering on the details that had become familiar yet felt new in that moment.

“Kaz?”

“Yes?”

Her laughter resonated like a sweet melody, drowning out the surrounding noise and captivating his senses in its enchanting rhythm.

“Go on. Tell me more about my handwriting.”

“Right.” he mumbled, before returning his gaze to the note. He pointed to a particular word, noticing her I’s adorned with dots snugly placed near the stem. “Dotting your I’s closer to the stem means that you are organized and methodical.”

They had spent the majority of the afternoon delving into the intricacies of her handwriting, dissecting each detail he could uncover and telling her the meanings behind them.

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

He had loved her handwriting as much as he loved her, but seeing it now, mocking him, only intensified his resentment towards it.

With a grunt, he leaned forward, his hand snatching the letter from his table, and then crumpling it. "Ungrateful brat," he muttered.

He then looked down at the portrait, and a softness crept into his eyes.

The portrait was meant to be erased from existence. He thought about setting it on fire, ripping it to shreds, throwing it in the trash—anything to obliterate it. Yet, he hadn't been able to take any of those drastic measures. Instead, he found himself spending countless hours gazing at it, tracing her features repeatedly until he believed he had them memorized.

Just like he was doing now.

Her face bore fading bruises from previous days, with her hair elegantly braided, allowing a few loose strands to frame her features. The colors of her clothes harmonized flawlessly with the hues of her eyes. She looked lovely and he… well, he looked in love.

The artist had assured them not to worry about staying still, so they hadn’t. They had been chatting and whatever it was that he had said, had made her laugh, a moment perfectly frozen in time by the artist.

With a sigh, he turned the paper around. On the back, the worn-out handwriting, identical to the note’s, said: "My boy and I." The heart she had drawn next to the message now half-covered by a coffee stain.

He slowly tore his eyes away from it, gently folding the picture he hated so much and putting it back in its rightful place—hidden away from everyone, hidden away from him.

It had been a couple of weeks since he last saw her. Usually, he would spot her down by the market, trying on whatever items she liked, laughing with people. Sometimes, he'd catch a glimpse of her at the café closest to the harbor, looking out the window and sipping on whatever drink she craved that day. But the absence of her familiar presence began to stir a concern in him, raising questions about the uncertainty of her well-being.

The hasty patch-up he attempted on her wounds was far from ideal, and the risk of infections lingered in his thoughts, and if she had caught one, he doubted she had survived it.

Or maybe, she hadn’t faced an infection but encountered the person who initially injured her.

These lingering fears were the reason why he was hiding in the shadows of her home.

"Came here to return my portrait, Brekker?"

He emerged from the shadows, the rhythmic tapping of his cane against the floor marking each deliberate step as he approached her.

“I burnt it.”

The smirk on her face gradually faded, the subtle shift in her expression nearly escaping his notice.

As he studied her face, he couldn’t help but compare it to the mental image of the portrait he had in his mind.

He noticed the changes in her face, the presence of dark circles beneath her eyes, and the new scars- a horizontal one on her left cheekbone, another by her temple, and one near her lower lip.

Still, she was breathtakingly beautiful.

“Then, what are you doing here, Brekker?”

What was he doing here? It was a valid question, one he held the answer to but was unwilling to reveal. After all, what could he possibly say? "I just wanted to make sure you were alright"? Truthfully, he wasn't concerned about her well-being; he simply needed to figure out whether he should revel in her demise or begrudge the fact that she was still breathing.

At least, that's what he told himself.

Her laughter echoed, surprising him with the sound, and their eyes locked once more. "I'm alright." Fuck, was he that easy to read?

"And you think I care because…?"

"Why else would you be lurking around?"

With a resigned exhale, he cast his gaze downward, surrendering to the persistence of her smirk. His thoughts raced, attempting to conjure a more convincing alibi, almost expecting the effort to result in visible steam rising from his head.

“You owe me new bedsheets.”

She didn't. The blood had vanished flawlessly, leaving the sheets looking as pristine as they always had.

She hummed, playfully tapping her chin with her index finger, deep in thought. After seconds of silence, she finally asked, “Is green still your favorite color?”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Why does it matter?” Kaz asked, a solid hour ticking away as he tossed out every color he could think of. “It matters because it’s my favorite, handsome.” Y/N playfully responded, a teasing glint in her eye.

“It’s just a color!” Kaz insisted, his tone growing louder and sharper—a shift not lost on Y/N. Yet, her composure remained unscathed. Others might’ve balked, made a swift exit, but not her.

But then again, no one would be asking Kaz Brekker to guess their favorite color.

“How can you say you love me-“ Her hands. Saints, her hands speak louder than her words, Kaz thought as he observed their rapid movement. “-when you can’t even tackle the basics about me?”

That had hit a nerve. Not too long ago, he had mustered the courage to tell her that he loved her, and now, she was making assumptions based on color preference.

“Alright. What is my favorite color then?” asked Kaz. As y/n paused for a second, Kaz wished she would let it go, recognizing that she, much like him, didn’t know his favorite— “Forest green.”

Oh. Kaz wanted nothing more than to erase that smirk from her lips. "Impressed?" she taunted, her tone rubbing salt in the wound.

For a moment, Kaz entertained a barrage of biting retorts, but the truth lingered in her ever-growing smile, making any counterattack futile. Instead, he drew a deep breath, revisiting their conversation from months ago— which’s point had been to know the answers to these simple questions. “I didn’t think of you as someone who could be left speechless, Brekker” she remarked, her words hanging in the air. “I must say-“

“Burgundy.” and just like that, her smirk was replaced by a softer smile. “It compliments your eyes.” He added as he looked up to meet her face. “That’s your favorite color.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

“Not just any green-“

“I know, I know. Forest green.”

She then motioned with her head for him to follow her. Reluctantly, he complied, feeling trapped in the situation he had created for himself.

They strolled through the market for a while, his pace frequently interrupted as she got distracted by various trinkets along the way. He sighed, the repetitive interruptions making it feel like the hundredth time, until they finally reached their destination and entered.

“Oh me, oh my.”

“Hello, Lenire.”

Y/n offered a greeting as they entered the store. Kaz recognized both the shop and its annoying owner, having frequented it with her about a thousand times to purchase various pieces of furniture. Kaz struggled to recall why he had deemed the owner annoying at some point in his life.

That is, until she started making foolish comments, “Now, this is a surprise I wasn’t expecting.”

With a resigned sigh, he asked, "What is?" only to regret it as soon as she provided her answer.

“I never expected to see this-“Lenire rapidly pointed from him to her and back to him, “- couple back.”

Rolling his eyes at the store owner's foolish assumption, Kaz heard y/n let out a humorless laugh before assuring her they weren't back together.

The more time they spent in the store browsing for new bedsheets, the more annoyed Kaz got by Lenire. It reached a point where he quickly scanned the section they were in, pointed at a random bed set, and said, "That one."

“Then get it.”

They approached the cashier, Kaz holding the bed set and placing it on the counter, waiting for the owner to announce the price.

Kaz had fought back a laugh as Lenire exaggerated the quality of the bed set, claiming it was one of their finest, before telling them the price, which made him turn to y/n with a smirk, ready for the anticipated flush of embarrassment as she realized she lacked the funds. However, to his surprise, no such reaction occurred. Instead, she nodded calmly, effortlessly retrieving the required cash from her bag to settle the payment.

The only reaction he received from her, after the owner concluded the transaction, was a cheeky wink as she turned to face him.

"Thanks, Lenire," she said with a nod before turning around and exiting the store, leaving him and the bed sheets behind.

"Where did you get the money?" he asked as he approached her outside the store.

She remained silent for a moment as she began to walk, her steps deliberate and measured, leaving him to catch up as he trailed behind her, waiting for her to say something “Lehos’s house.”

And just as he had started to catch up to her, he stopped in his tracks, watching her move further away.

Her ability to infiltrate the house undetected, especially while injured, left him stunned, questioning how she managed such a feat, let alone pilfer from the premises without notice. That is, of course, unless she had done it before getting injured.

He harbored no doubt in her ability to accomplish such thing if she were so inclined. After all, they had spent numerous years engaging in similar activities, repeatedly slipping in and out unnoticed, whether for jobs or merely for amusement, without ever facing repercussions.

But without him?

He couldn't shake the notion that she had likely executed similar jobs in the past. In fact, he had been driven by the urgent need to infiltrate Lehos' house under the assumption that she might beat him to it if he didn't act swiftly enough. Yet, the undeniable confirmation of her solo endeavor left him with a lingering sensation in his chest. Was it betrayal? Or perhaps a tinge of hurt?

“Is that how you got hurt?”

As if she had just realized his absence from her side, she too came to a halt, her feet firmly planted in place. Her gaze fixed straight ahead, as her shoulder dropped, “Does it matter?”

“Yes.”

She turned to face him, her gaze piercing as one eyebrow arched inquisitively. “Why?”

“Because if it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t be here.”

"I'd consider it a win-win. I survive, and you end up with new bedsheets."

He despised her habit of responding with unrelated quips, deflecting from the original question. It was one of the few things about her that had always bothered him —a trait he’d detested from the start.

“Well?”

“Well what, Kaz?”

“How did you get hurt?”

He watched her as she rolled her eyes and slightly shook her head, ignoring his question once again and turning around to resume her walking.

Before she could move away, he seized her forearm, yanking her forcefully towards him, letting the bedsheets fall as he pinned her against the wall with a swift, aggressive motion.

“I should’ve let you die.” He leaned in close, his breath hot against her skin as he spat out his words.

Her own bruised face inched closer to him, her eyes lifting to meet his, “Why didn’t you?”

“Your demise will be at my hand.”

He staggered backward as she pushed him away, her teeth gritted in pain as she clutched her side. With a low hiss, she countered, "We'll see about that."

“You are just as broken as the day I left you.”

“Last time I checked, you were just as messed up as me.”

* ੈ✩‧₊˚

taglist!: @moonstruck-poet @the-dumpster-fire-of-life @littleshadow17 @izzyisstuff @amybonehouse @justvibbinghere @circus-of-thoughts @anonymous-creep hope you guys enjoyed it! <3

[vague-humanoid]

Since the Smithsonian Asian Pacific American Center’s abrupt cancellation of the annual Asian American Literature Festival last month, organizers and community supporters have sought to hold APAC and the Smithsonian at large accountable for its unilateral decision to cancel the festival, which caused tens of thousands of dollars in financial losses for partner organizations and invitees. 

Beyond monetary loss, Asian-American writers involved in this year’s festival programming are also dealing with the emotional toll the situation has wrought. Some organizers have voiced suspicion that specific portions of this year’s programming—most notably a Trans and Nonbinary Reading Room—could be part of why the festival was canceled. 

On July 5, an email from APAC’s Acting Director Yao-Fen You notified organizers that the festival would no longer continue due to “unforeseen circumstances.” According to The Washington Post, You sent the email after staffers submitted a report flagging “potentially sensitive” issues in the festival’s programming. The report, which Festival Director Lawrence-Minh Bùi Davis submitted at You’s request, cited a handful of events, including the Trans and Nonbinary Reading Room. That event was described as “potentially the most sensitive of the festival’s offerings” due to the growing book bans targeting transgender and nonbinary authors. You sent out the email formally canceling the festival hours after Davis submitted the report.

Ching-In Chen, the Trans and Nonbinary Reading Room’s curator, was among the curators who learned about the cancellation from other community partners after the email’s distribution, which did not reach Chen directly. 

“I think everyone was confused,” said Chen. “I was upset because I’d spent a lot of time making the [reading] list, talking to the bookstore, talking to River [Ying Dandelion], talking to everyone else who was going to be at the festival.” Chen lost more than $2,000 in curation fees and travel and accommodation expenses covered by APAC as a result of the festival’s cancellation. Another $500 that was committed to purchasing works from the trans and nonbinary writers featured in the reading room was lost too. 

Transgender poet Yanyi, a regular festival contributor and a curator for this year’s programming, said the cancellation felt “out of the blue” since he was still in regular contact with other coordinators and APAC staff as of late June. Like other attendees, Yanyi planned his August schedule around the AALF with a separate trip to connect with his publishing team in New York. He lost his honorarium for curating the event, but more importantly, Yanyi said, he lost a chance to commune with his literary peers.

“[During the pandemic] I did writing sessions for Asian diaspora writers; I ran a poetry manuscript workshop,” Yanyi said. “You can imagine the wonder of how much an entire group of us can create for our community. And to have that taken away from the public really so suddenly is, it’s just the worst.” (The Smithsonian is the festival’s largest sponsor but does not own the rights to the events.)

After an initial backlash, the Smithsonian released a statement saying that the festival was postponed to a later date and that it was due to logistical shortcomings which “did not meet Smithsonian expectations for hosting a successful in-person event.” Those claims have been disputed by organizers involved in the festival’s coordination. 

“I think it’s a complete abuse of power for [APAC’s] acting director to have unilaterally suddenly canceled the Asian American Literature Festival in this manner,” said Cathy Linh Che, the executive director of the literary nonprofit Kundiman, a longtime festival partner. “To claim A/V issues when we had run this twice before, including once at the Eaton hotel, and the Eaton had already been long booked, is also outrageous.” 

Since its dismantling, festival partners like Kundiman have launched an accountability campaign against APAC and the Smithsonian under the AALF Collective. The collective’s open letter addressed to APAC and the Smithsonian leadership has gathered more than 2,300 signatories so far. It features a list of demands to repair the working relationship between the institutions and festival partners, among them calls for the Smithsonian to pay organizers and performers the full funding that was agreed upon and demands for You’s resignation. (You did not respond to a request for comment from Prism.)

[kats-spblog]

Hi-

Not new the sp fandom BUT i finally caved in and made ocs

——————————————————

Korey Jackson 🎨

Korey Jackson [She/Her] is a 16 year old teenager that moved from Atlanta, Georgia to South Park, Colorado (worst mistake known to man)

Here’s some facts:

- She is Neourdivergent! AuDHD (Autism & ADHD) She is very hyperfixated on painting and collecting crystals. Korey loves watching Bob Ross and loves to paint while watching him.

- She is also Selectively Mute. Of course she has a voice but she doesn’t like speaking up front. That’s why she prefers to communicate using ASL (American Sign Language)

- Korey works at a Bookstore with her best friend (Who I will get into in a moment). This bookstore is a pretty cool hangout for the two of them since rarely anyone comes in. They sit there and get money by the hour. Korey also paints at work.

- Korey has a little sister (Who I will also get into in a bit) that she takes care of. Since their parents are not in the picture, Korey has taken responsibility of raising her sister. Korey doesn’t not fuck around about her little sister.

- Korey is a pothead and likes to skip class or not go to class at all. Academic standing, she’s alright. Good enough to pass to the next grade but pretty mediocre at best.

- Korey knows everything about Painting and the Arts. From art history to what type of brushes you can use to make certain strokes on the canvas.

- Korey likes Soda. Fruity sodas are her favorite.

- Korey is Bisexual and has no love interest at the moment.

- Korey loves comic books. If she’s not painting, she’s reading the next issue of some superhero.

- Korey’s comfort foods are mac n cheese and fries. She’s extremely picky because of sensory issues.

——————————————————

Skater Kid 🛹

Skater Kid, real name Alexis [They/Them], is a 17 year old teenager in South Park, Coloraldo. They are Korey’s (super) best friend and coworkers at the bookstore.

Here’s some facts:

- Skater Kid got their nickname because they are known for skating on a skateboard around South Park. Everyone calls them that, but only Korey calls them “Alexis”.

- They LOVE music. They are always seen with headphones on or in their hand. They have vinyls and a record player in their room as well.

- Skater is Nonbinary. People do confused them as being a boy or a girl.

- Skater is Aromatic Asexual. They have no intentions or interests of being in a relationship.

- Skater is the only person that Korey talks to vocally. If a customer comes in, Skater does the talking mostly. They also learned ASL for their best friend.

- Their hair is dyed blonde. Their hair is naturally black.

- Skater has snake bite piercings under their lip. They got them at a young age.

- They loves cats. Cats love them. Cat distribution

- Skater likes to draw. They aren’t as obsessed with as Korey but they do like to draw traditionally.

- Skater likes to wear eyeliner. People call them emo but they are way from it. They also like to do Korey’s makeup as well.

——————————————————

Yasmin Jackson 🎮

Yasmin Jackson is a 10 year old 4th grade girl that goes to South Park Elementary. She is the younger sister of Korey Jackson and also moved from Atlanta, Georgia to South Park, Colorado (once again, worst mistake known to man)

Here’s some facts:

- Yasmin is a Tomboy. She likes to hang out with the girls and the boys (only if they let her). She doesn’t have a distane for girly things, it’s just that she’s not really into them.

- Yasmin knows ASL because of Korey. It is te only way they are able to talk to each other. Yasmin respects Korey’s of not wanting to talk.

- Yasmin is a YAPPER. She talks so much and is very extroverted. She loves making friends.

- Unlike Korey, Yasmin is Neourtypical and Allistic. She knows when to give her older sister some space and when the boundaries have been set between them.

- Yasmin also has a best friend as well. They get into mischief around town.

- Yasmin spends most of her afternoons after school with her best friend or at the bookstore when Korey picks her up. She loves getting to read horror novels.

- Yasmin likes to play basketball. She’s a baller on the court frfr. She also likes to play video games. They have to be fighting video games though. Yasmin annilates at fighting games.

- Yasmin is very enthusiastic and energetic about things that she likes. She will argue with you if you dislike something she likes. Goes to war for it even.

- Yasmin does not play about Korey. She hates it when people make fun of her. Though Korey can handle bullies by herself, Yasmin will threaten someone if they talk shit about her older sister.

- Yasmin is learning how to use a skaterbaord by Skater Kid. Yasmin thinks that Skater is cool and possibly like the older sibling she never had. They play fighting games together when Korey isn’t available.

———————————————————

Extra Stuff:

Close up of Korey and Skater Kid

���—————————————————

Aesthetic Moodboards

——————————————————

Yasmin and Izabel [Her Bestie]

[sobercentre]

Every so often we’re in the pursuit of relaxation and luxurious bathing experiences. Bath salts deliver both – a therapeutic soothing experience that is not only believed to have exfoliating properties but also alleviates stress and anxiety. However, the term ‘bath salts’ does not only apply to these aromatherapy blissful crystals added to bath water. It’s not the form of bath salts we’ll talk about today. The bath salts referred to in this article are the synthetic form also known as synthetic cathinone, a designer drug created to mimic the effects of traditional narcotics. Well, of course excluding the legal restrictions. This article will delve into the shadows of the newly trending bath salts drugs often confused with the traditional bath crystals, shedding light on bath salts effects on the body. What are bath salts? They are a class of lab-made stimulants whose chemical composition is similar to that of the Khat plant, only more powerful and dangerous. Bath salts are engineered in East Asia and distributed worldwide where they are sold in convenience stores, gas stations, head shops, smoke shops, bookstores, and on the Internet. They are white or brown crystals often packed in foil or plastic packages. Bath salts are ingested as illicit synthetic cathinone which is always cheaper and more accessible compared to other hard drugs. It can also be ingested unintentionally as contaminants of other drugs or medication. For instance, bupropion is a synthetic cathinone approved for treating some conditions, including substance use disorders. Other common street names for bath salts are Vanilla Sky, white lightning, bloom, Cloud Nine, Scarface, or Flakka. What is in bath salts? The composition of bath salts can be ambiguous to fit the intended use and effect of the drug, hence their classification as ‘designer’ drugs. Their composition is constantly evolving making it difficult to know the chemicals present in any given batch definitively. Nonetheless, the commonly reported substance in its constituents is methylenedioxypyrovalerone (MDPV), a psychoactive component responsible for dopamine overstimulation bath salts effects on the body. Research shows MDPV has the potential to elevate extracellular dopamine levels an hour after administration. This puts the drug at high risk of abuse. Over the years, manufacturers have consistently altered the molecular structure of synthetic cathinone to override the legal restrictions on its primary components. There exists a lack of a standardized chemical composition and quality control of bath salts drugs. For this reason, consumers ingest unpredictable concoctions of chemicals, which heightens their exposure to harmful bath salts effects on the body. Additionally, the substances are marketed under pseudonyms such as ‘research chemicals’, ‘plant food’, and ‘glass cleaner’, and often labeled ‘not for human consumption’ to conceal their true purpose and elude the law’s scrutiny. How are bath salts drugs ingested? 1. Oral ingestion Synthetic cathinones are often swallowed when in pill or capsule form, absorbing the drug into the digestive system. This method of ingestion posits a gradual onset of bath salts effects on the body. 2. Snorting Nasal insufflation is also a popular method of ingestion. The crystals are typically ground into powder form and snorted through the nose. Snorting delivers a quicker onset of the effects of the drugs as they are directly absorbed into the nasal mucosa. 3. Smoking Some users prefer heating the bath salt crystals into vapor and inhaling the vapor. This happens when the user wants an immediate high since the drug is delivered directly into the bloodstream. 4. Injection Intravenous injections deliver the fastest onset of bath salts effects on the body. the method involves dissolving the crystals in water and injecting the solution directly into the bloodstream. While it may seem effective to the user, it poses significant health risks such as vein damage and infection routes.

Side effects of bath salts drugs Immediate bath salts effects on the body Since the structural composition of MDPV is similar to that of methylenedioxymethamphetamine (MDMA), a hallucinogenic substance, their immediate effects are quite similar – a quick short-lived “rush” lasting about 3 to 4 hours, and thereafter, a hard “crash”. This “rush” or “high” is experienced as: Euphoria Increased libido Increased wakefulness/alertness Empathy Talkativeness On the flip side, the high also causes: Elevated heart rate Excessive sweating Vessel constriction Low appetite Muscle spasms Seizures High blood pressure Hyperthermia Chest pains Pupil dilation Although the “rush” from bath salts is short-lived, the above immediate side effects may take up to 2 days to clear up. when taken in higher doses, bath salts effects on the body can last upwards of 8 hours. Long-term bath salts effects on the body With the high amounts of dopamine released from bath salts, the body quickly creates a dependence on the chemical. Higher dosages and regular use of bath salts can lead to extreme side effects. Among them are: 1. Cardiovascular diseases Prolonged use has been associated with elevated risk of heart attacks and strokes. 2. Kidney damage Kidneys play a significant role in excreting toxins from the body. Synthetic cathinone metabolites can put a strain on the organ, leading to kidney dysfunction or failure. 3. Psychiatric disorders Prolonged use of synthetic cathinone has been linked to psychiatric disorders such as anxiety, depression, and paranoia. Regular users become delusional and experience hallucinations. Due to the unpredictable nature of bath salts, they not only trigger new mental disorders but can exacerbate pre-existing ones. 4. Dental problems Bath salt compounds may have the potential to cause teeth grinding, jaw clenching, and elevated risk of tooth decay. 5. Tolerance Continued use of these designer drugs prompts the body to develop tolerance, meaning larger amounts will be required to achieve the desired high. 6. Dependency and addiction With tolerance comes increased dosages and frequency of use. This leads to the body adapting to the presence of the drug to function normally.At this stage, the user has developed a physical and psychological dependency on bath salts. Cravings are more prominent and it becomes significantly difficult to control their drug use. As dependence deepens and negative bath salts effects on the body become more prevalent, life becomes unmanageable without the drug. The intention of use has now shifted from recreational to sustaining normalcy and avoiding withdrawal symptoms. This is a full-blown addiction. What is bath salts withdrawal like? Bath salts withdrawal symptoms are characterized by physical and psychological transitions whose severity and duration depend on the frequency of drug use, duration of use, and the overall health of the user. Due to the ambiguous nature of synthetic cathinones, withdrawal experiences may differ depending on the composition of this designer drug. However, common withdrawal symptoms associated with bath salts include: Intense cravings that may lead the individual to relapse when left untreated. Depression and mood swings. The abrupt cut-off from the drug affects the brain’s neurotransmitter levels, causing mood disturbances. Anxiety, restlessness, and irritability. Fatigue and lethargy as the body adjusts to functioning without the bath salts effects on the body. Disrupted sleep patterns are common during withdrawal. Cognitive impairment. As the brain adjusts to the absence of bath salts, the user experiences memory problems, cognitive fog, and difficulty concentrating. Psychomotor agitation is also a symptom of bath salts withdrawal. This manifests through restlessness and difficulty in sitting still. Managing these withdrawal symptoms requires a comprehensive and individualized approach from healthcare providers and addiction specialists, specifically due to the unpredictable nature of synthetic cathinones.

Detox and treatment for bath salts withdrawal Detoxification involves flashing harmful toxins from the body and managing the withdrawal symptoms. The detox process is just the initial phase of addiction treatment. A lot of support and ongoing therapy is paramount to sustain the recovery process. Such kind of support can be provided to the recovering addict through: 1. Medical assessments and supervised detox Consistent medical assessment is crucial for the development of an individualized treatment plan. A healthcare professional would evaluate the user’s overall health, the extent of substance use, and the presence of pre-existing mental or physical health conditions. Medical supervision is then accorded to help manage withdrawal symptoms during detox. Medications may be used to alleviate bath salts withdrawal symptoms and keep the individual comfortable. 2. Therapy Mental health professionals provide support through the emotional challenges of detox. Counselors and behavioral therapists may be involved in addressing the underlying issues contributing to substance abuse. Other supportive therapeutic modalities include cognitive-behavioral therapies (CBT) and contingency management that assist recovering addicts develop coping mechanisms and prevent relapse. 3. Inpatient and outpatient treatment Depending on the severity of the addiction, the recovering addict may require different levels of care. Inpatient treatment offers 24/7 support for individuals battling severe addiction and co-occurring disorders. Outpatient treatment allows for more flexibility as the individual can attend therapy sessions while living at home. 4. Holistic approaches Practices such as yoga, mindfulness meditation, nutritional counseling, wellness sports, and other outdoor programs may be integrated into the treatment plan to address the physical, mental, and emotional well-being of an individual. 5. Support groups Peer support is intended to provide a sense of community and shared experiences to the recovering addict. Support groups including group therapies and 12-step programs, are often incorporated to sustain long-term recovery. Bath salts overdose Overdosing posits life-threatening bath salts effects on the body. The effects of an overdose can be as unpredictable as withdrawal symptoms due to the inconsistencies in the formulations of synthetic cathinones. Each formulation may present a different set of harmful symptoms upon an overdose. Nonetheless, common symptoms of bath salts overdose include: Cardiovascular disord ers including high blood pressure, rapid heart rate, and high risk of cardiac arrest. Aggression, agitation, and restlessness. The user may become a danger to themselves and others. Psychotic symptoms such as hallucination, delusions, and paranoia. Hyperthermia (increased body temperature), leading to a heat stroke or organ damage. Seizures. It is crucial to seek emergency medical attention as soon as you suspect a bath salts overdose. Prompt medical attention is essential to manage the potentially dangerous symptoms and more so, in determining the formulation of synthetic cathinones ingested for specialized care. Take away As the popularity of these designer drugs increases, it is more crucial to educate the public about the potentially harmful bath salts effects on the body, mitigating unintentional misuse. By fostering awareness and commitment to well-being, we can work towards a safer and healthier community.

[jtq1844]

What's the difference?

I read somewhere recently -- although I have no interest in vetting the information -- that about 800 new titles are released every weekday. I met a guy named Steve today who works in publishing. He corrected me. According to Steve, with the combination of traditional, self/indie, and the nebulously defined hybrid publishing paradigms, the number is now more like 4000 every day! (Indies don't have to keep bankers' hour like trads do. "Bankers' hours" -- now there's a rapidly aging phrase.)

So, in an effort to get it straight in my head, I'll just keep writing things down here until someone finds this and corrects me. It's a win-win situation: I'll get some clarity, and you'll get to feel superior for a good 5 minutes.

Traditional publishing -- It's funny that it's called "traditional" because it really only began in the 1860s or so (which doesn't seem that long ago in terms of traditions and all). Before that, the writer, like other artists, depended upon patronage to foot the bills. Once in a while, there might have been a little crowd-sourcing, but basically, it was self-publishing tied to the apron-strings of someone with deep pockets and their own overriding opinions.

Publishing houses developed as a way to facilitate book publishing without the writer being imprisoned or abandoned by the patron's whims. In exchange for the rights to the book, a publishing house foots the bill for the preparation, design, printing, marketing, and distribution of the book. The writer gets royalties AFTER the publisher recoups the costs of preparation, design, printing, marketing, and distribution ... and if the book does well, the costs of reprinting and redistributing, etc. When all is said and done, the writer gets about 10% of the price of the book when it is sold (for the first time). If the publisher gave the writer an advance, that too is made up before those royalty checks start flowin'. The publisher gets to make subsequent decisions about the book because the publisher owns the rights to it. With small presses, it behooves both the publisher and the writer to build and keep a relationship for the sake of future endeavors and profits. With larger presses, there is another layer between them -- the Literary Agent; however, that, my friends, is another post for another day (mainly because I'm just learning about them).

Self-publishing -- is just that. The writer is handles everything -- the preparation (editing mostly), design, printing, marketing and distribution. They get to keep absolute control over these processes. Whether they are any good at them is another story. They may hire people with expertise to help them of course. Mind you, once one pays all those bills and/or calculates the costs of DIY -- after all "time is money" as they say -- the author of the average self-published book makes about 10% on each book sold (the first time, and nothing after it goes to a used bookstore (in case you were confused)). E-books and print-on-demand help with that a lot, but I haven't bothered to look up any stats on that.

Hybrid-publishing -- When a group of people get frustrated with the traditional publishing paradigm and gain some understanding of each step of the self-publishing process, they do some very special machinations to create a bundle of services to offer the writer. This baby is then advertised to writers. The writer gets to keep the rights to their book but pays the hybrid publishing company for each part of this beautiful mysterious journey. Lots of aspects of this relationship can vary widely. Expertise in each step -- editing, designing, printing, marketing, distribution -- needs to be assessed somehow. On one end of the spectrum, it could be wonderfully frank, supportive, and professional -- laying out a realistic plan ... that the writer pays for. On the other end of the spectrum are the "vanity presses." No vanity press will call itself a vanity press. Yes, they offer services. Yes, the writer pays for them. The general business model is the same.

How does one tell the difference? Here are a few red flags that signal a vanity press.

They will print "anything."

They heap praise on you and your writing from Day 1 ... whether they've had time to read your book or not.

They pressure you to sign contracts quickly.

Their pricing structure is vague or full of hidden add-ons. (This is often impossible to assess early enough in the process.)

They avoid officially stating that they adhere to the standards set out by the Independent Book Publishers Association (IBPA), because they aren't concerned about that.

Once one subtracts the cost of the packaged or ala carte services from hybrid publisher from the substantially larger chunk of the sales price the writer receives, it comes down to about ... I dunno. It varies widely depending on the scamminess of the company involved.

Finding a reputable guide though this process takes detective work and research. Thank goodness bloggers about writing and publishing are always so trustworthy and accurate in their posts!

[mollyringle]

Trad pub and indie pub and small presses: different, but not.

I saw someone say they’ll always leave 5-star reviews for indie authors, but will be more picky about ratings for traditionally published authors. This has been bothering me. I shall discuss. This isn’t pro-trad or pro-indie, just a plea for understanding the nuanced reality. Disclosure: yes, I’m trad pubbed - if you count small presses - so I’m sure I’m biased. Still, this reviewer's attitude assumes all trad pub is some place of ginormous advantage, and, furthermore, that all trad pub has the *same amount and level* of advantages. This is very much not the case. Further disclosure: I’ve never been Big 5 published (i.e., published by one of the Big 5 publishers: Penguin Random House, Hachette, HarperCollins, MacMillan, and Simon & Schuster). My publishers so far have all been small presses. From my own experience, and from other authors' words, I can safely say a) small presses are nowhere near Big 5 in terms of money, marketing, and distribution, and b) there’s gigantic variety among small presses. Let us compare some of the details: Editing: yes, you generally get an editor, free, when you get trad pubbed. Keep in mind you’re giving up a large chunk of royalties for that service (among other services the publisher provides). Editing quality, though, varies from one editor to another. We’re only human. (I’m an editor as well as a writer.) We have our preferences and styles. In some dreadful cases, editors can meddle too much and sow doubt in the author and lead them to change things that were better left unchanged. (This has happened to me as a writer, in the past.) In other cases, the author refuses to listen to wise advice no matter how good the editor, and you get Big 5 books with weird-ass punctuation. (I have read more than a few...) Also, do you really want to suggest that because someone’s indie-published, we should forgive a book riddled with typos and confusing grammar and give it 5 stars anyway? Does that help the good reputation of indie? Something to ponder. $$: small presses don’t give advances. Or at least, I’ve never gotten one in my fifteen years of being published by small presses, except in one case of selling audio rights, and it was only three digits. We get only royalties, same as indie authors. We even get a lesser portion of the royalties than indies do, given the nature of contracts; but we don’t pay for cover art or editing, so that might even out. Marketing: varies SO MUCH among small presses. I’ve seen ones who do as much Big-5-style marketing behavior as they can afford (but keep in mind they can't afford as much), ones who only do email list and online ads, and plenty in between. Trad pub does NOT mean “you will by default get a table devoted to your books in every B&N in the country.” Distribution: in fact, you’re lucky if you GET your books into B&N, if you’re not with the Big 5. As with marketing, this varies hugely, but general rule is small pub can’t afford giant distribution. I make a lot more on ebooks than print, and few bookstores carry my books. Cover art: this, too, can be very good or not so good. Trad contracts often state that you can’t argue your cover, or only can argue it to a point, so you likely have less say in it than an indie does. On the plus side, you might get a publisher who rocks the graphic design, which you benefit from as part of your contract. So look carefully at a press’s covers before submitting, is one tip I’d give.

There are indie books that have done phenomenally well and made the authors rich or at least comfortable, and ones that never blip the radar. THE EXACT SAME IS TRUE FOR TRADITIONALLY PUBLISHED BOOKS. The vast majority of trad published authors, just like the vast majority of indie authors, are making only meager amounts of money on royalties. Those who can afford to buy castles thanks to their royalties are a well-known but very short list.

The advantages can be on either side, depending on who you’re fortunate enough to work with. And how awesome your book is, of course. And your cover art. Seriously, the cover art matters; don’t skimp on that. I’ll stop there. Enjoy reading, and be kind to ALL authors who are doing their best out there!

[nanowrimo]

A Comprehensive Guide to Self Publishing Your Book

Publishing a book is every author’s dream, but the path there can be rocky and blocked by a huge wall of information that you need to know. Today, Deborah Dixon has written a comprehensive guide to self-publishing discussing editing printing, distribution, ISBNs, and marketing.

Publishing a book is a rewarding experience, but it can also be confusing or demanding as well. Here is a very brief look at the steps an author can take towards being published.

Traditional vs. Self-Publishing

First ask yourself if you would prefer to be traditionally published or self-published. Both routes are viable and respectable, but they are very different. Traditional publishing involves finding an agent through the process of querying. Authors submit documents like synopses, query letters, and first chapters in hopes that the agents they submit to are interested enough in their manuscript to represent them. Once accepted, the agent finds a suitable publishing house for the author, and all parties coordinate to publish the book from there.

Self-publishing involves much more direct author participation. The author will generally handle editing, marketing, printing, and distributing the book, often with assistance from third parties. There is no need to query agents, but an author should still be prepared to explain their book from a sales standpoint. In self-publishing, the author is their book’s best advocate.

Editing

Usually, the first step in self-publishing is having the manuscript professionally edited. This is a crucial step that should be taken even if the author is an excellent self-editor. Even the best editors can overlook common mistakes in their manuscripts! The Editorial Freelancers Association is a wonderful resource for finding an editor.

Printing & Distribution

If you’re planning to print your book, you’ll want to decide whether you want to print a run of books upfront or set up print-on-demand. Book printers like Gorham can print many copies of your book and ship them to you for placement in bookstores and the like. Alternatively, though, you can use print-on-demand (POD) services like IngramSpark or Lulu. KDP Print is a great option for authors who are mostly looking to sell print books on Amazon. POD is often considered the cheapest option because you don’t have to invest as much upfront. Rather, POD vendors will take a (pretty big) cut of every book you sell, but you get the added bonus of not dealing with printing, distributing, or shipping. 

If you elect to pursue distribution through your own means, you’ll have to purchase your own ISBNs. Think of an ISBN as the ID card of your book. Every book needs one, and they will need a different one in every format. If you want to publish your book as an ebook, hardcover, and paperback, you’ll need 3 ISBNs. Therefore, it might be more economical to buy them in bulk. If you’re in the US, you can buy your ISBNs from Bowker, and they never expire, so you can use them for future projects. If you go with KDP Print, Amazon will provide you with a free ISBN, but bear in mind that it's not truly free. Since KDP “owns” your book, it will be difficult to get into brick and mortar bookstores, Barnes and Nobles, and other distributors that could get your book more reach. On the other hand, if you purchase your own ISBNs, you can distribute them anywhere.

Once you have your books in print, you’ll want to reach out to your local bookstores to place your books there as well. Many book stores will sell your books on a consignment arrangement with you, meaning that you receive your portion of the sale when the book is bought. Building relationships with your local booksellers is also a part of marketing, as booksellers make great advocates for books they like!

You may also want to consider distributing your work as an ebook. For this, you’ll want to create accounts at Apple iBooks, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and Amazon if you so choose. These all generally take a portion of your sales as payment, and so are free to set up initially.

Marketing

Another important step in self-publishing is marketing. It is a good idea to have a marketing plan set up in advance of selling the book. Marketing covers many facets, like book design, book promotion, and publicity. It is its own discipline, and many authors might not have the time or know-how to develop a solid marketing plan. For those authors, services like Reedsy, Scribe, and BooksGoSocial can be of great help.

Through all of these steps and going forward, you want to be marketing your book. Consider going to book fairs and other book events, whether in-person or virtual, and reach out to your local and national news outlets. It never hurts to tell people about your book—and the more who know about it, the more who will read it!

With this baseline information, I hope you feel ready to embark on  your self-publishing journey!

Deborah Dixon is a writer and author advocate with Shalamar. She is also an editor for Radon Journal and a student of George Washington University's Publishing program. She lives with her partner and their dog, Spirit.

Photo by Stephen Phillips - Hostreviews.co.uk on Unsplash  

[altschmerzes]

book club with gav! book 2: reputation

reputation by sarah vaughan

i picked this one up from the bookstore because i recognized the author, having watched and..... decently enjoyed the netflix limited series 'anatomy of a scandal' which was adapted out of another of her books. i didn't want to just read anatomy of a scandal because i'd watched the series, and i wanted to enjoy a New Story. i liked the look of it, it seemed to be dealing with some elements that i find really compelling - courtroom drama, political drama, social and journalism media, etc. reputation on the whole is something i'm a little obsessed with. thought all that sounded cool.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: gang it is not good. this is not a good book. the writing style was in DESPERATE need of an editor, with details that seemed irrelevant peppered all over, overstuffed bloated sentences that confused what was being described and why, etc. it also had a habit of utilizing a narrative trick that i think can be very fun if it's used effectively and sparingly. (i've used it myself actually, and i try to apply the same approach - use it sparingly, and make sure that it works enough to justify it.) it's this sort of like- there's probably an actual literary term for this, but it's like. retrospective narrative commentary on what's happening, 'i.e. i wouldn't know until later how bad of an idea that was, it was naive of me to trust him, at the time i believed him, this would come back to bite me when, etc'. this book used this so fucking often that it didn't just foreshadow future events including twists, it just. flat out told you what they were all going to be, leaving you able to predict beat for beat what was going on like 75% of the time. the povs were ineffectively deployed, and half of them didn't need to exist. the timeline jumping was fun for me but i can see that it would be hard to track if you weren't specifically watching it like i was. i didn't like the characters. any of them. the protagonist was infuriating and not in a fun way. and the overall promised thing that was the most compelling about the dust jacket - the way it stated the protagonist "is a liar" played out in the most boring way possible. the most interesting information came at the very, very end in the last, extremely short portion of the book that was effectively an epilogue, and it wasn't set up well.

now. in order to contextualize my thoughts about this book it is necessary to like..... go into a plot synopsis. it’s an EXTENDED plot synopsis. so that and my thoughts will be below the cut. general cw for this book that it's a murder mystery, so there's that, and this discussion of it will include brief and nondescriptive references to a mentioned suicide (we don't even know the character, he's related to a very small side character), revenge porn and nonconsensual nude pictures that are nonconsensually distributed, and some discussion of sexual assault/predatory relationships.

plot summary! so the plot of the book can be summarized this way: protagonist, emma webster, is a member of british parliament. she's a labour mp. she's an advocate for women's rights and feminist issues specifically, and has a current agenda about an anti-revenge porn bill. because of her advocacy, she sees a LOT of online harassment and threats of a truly vile nature, and some twitter threads and social media posts are included in the book. i love this sort of thing (the media threads), but i wish they'd done more with it. she is divorced and has a 14 year old daughter. her ex-husband is remarried to a former friend of hers from when she was a teacher. she is working with a specific journalist on this revenge porn bill. she lives part time in a home in her constituency, and part time in a home she shares with two other female mps close to parliament in london. events go down as follows, though i'm not 100% clear on the timeline, because this book had 45 plots. - protagonist is getting threats, she thinks her daughter is unaware of them, is mostly brushing them off while also being super intensely freaked out about them - daughter is having trouble at school: she's being bullied by an ex-friend who among other things has an instagram making fun of her - protagonist has a particularly angry and frightening interaction with a scary man from her constituency who's mostly mad he thinks she doesn't care about veterans issues because she doesn't talk about or campaign on them - threats she's receiving amp up, she starts to get texts direct to her mobile - she is freaking out constantly about her security and whether she’s safe at home. thinks every man she sees is going to throw acid in her face, which is both reasonable as a fear (genuine heightened threat to female politicians) and unreasonable as a fear (white women who consume too much true crime and think every single person in the universe is personally trying to serial kill them specifically complex). - she fucks the journalist and then immediately is like hm i should not have fucked that journalist, immediately ends the relationship and basically ghosts him, they don't even work together professionally after that. - the morning after she fucks the journalist she finds out daughter has taken secret nudie pics of her ex friend in order to teach that ex friend a lesson about...... being a bully and also too proud of her body? i guess???? and sent it to the boy her ex friend likes. the police are involved. it could be a child porn charge bc both girls are 14. the boy is 16. - this is gonna be really fucking bad for the protag and for daughter if it gets out to the news, especially given protag is campaigning against revenge porn and uh... well... this is similar enough it's gonna be hugely bad. - protagonist is obsessed and anxious to pieces about the possibility of this leaking - the daughter isn't actually charged, she just sort of gets suspended from school and then sent to another unit in the school for problem studentsTM. literally this is all of the consequences the daughter sees for her behaviour. that’s the whole thing. - threatening texts are persisting, protagonist thinks Angry Man Constituent is stalking her, bc he is, we see this in... his pov for some fucking reason - journalist lets protagonist know that he's been tipped off about a story involving the daughter that they can't print for legal reasons but if she works with them, they can spin it well - protagonist flips shit - she then concludes journalist is also stalking her. his paper posts pictures of her taking the trash out and is like She Seems Stressed! she takes this as an indication that he personally and specifically is stalking her and hates her and wants to take her down and ruin her daughter’s life, thinks there is a coded message in the article about her daughter. - journalist turns up dead (he's badly hurt in her home, dies in hospital) - protagonist goes on trial for his death - she initially tells the cops and her friends and Everyone that she came home and found him at the bottom of the stairs. turns out this was a lie. she pushed him. trial is basically on whether it was murder or self defense. - trial occurs, she is acquitted, important detail we learn is that the journalist got a message from a FB account he thought was her inviting him to the house. big part of the trial was that he was just There when she got home and she thought he was there to like. attack her or smth. - things we learn after the trial in the last like, 40-ish pages of the book: - the angry man constituent comes to the trial and yells at her when she's acquitted that his son (a vet) has died by suicide, and is then arrested and given a non-contact order - the threatening texts were not coming from him, they were coming from her daughter's ex-friend now-bully's mom? i guess? - her daughter is the one who sent the message inviting the journalist to the house in her mom's name. she wanted to talk to him, convince him not to run the story because she figured it was on her to handle the situation for some reason. - journalist got "x-rated" photos from a former university lecture section tutor of protagonist from when she was like 19 and in a sexual relationship with him (a pretty predatory one it seems) that will destroy the former tutor now-professor and political pundit's reputation (which would be a good thing, he sucks). this will also be devastating for protagonist (bad, yikes, bro, no). he wants to offer to protagonist that if she will work with them on that story, which will also prop up the point they're making together about her anti revenge porn bill, he will bury the thing with the daughter entirely. - this is what he was coming to talk to her about that day, and this is why she pushed him down the stairs. because she did. it's made clear in the last bit that she very much did Panic And Murder Him. - the reason the daughter didn't get there in time to be there first, why the protagonist got there first and this all happened, and there was so much confusion over who invited him there and why and all that, is that her train was delayed bc of. the constituent's son's suicide. whoof. - the step-mom knows what the daughter did. - none of this....... ever comes out i guess? it all kind of fizzles. that's it that's the book.

oKAY. now for: my thoughts.

fuck this book sucked so bad.

it was so distracted. it could not decide what it wanted the plot to be, or what it wanted the twists to be, or what they wanted to focus on, and it made all of its contents so much more muddled because of that. i was so thrown by the angry man constituent because literally the only relevance he actually ended up having to the story was as a direct case representation of the way the protagonist was being harassed and stalked and that his son's suicide was what delayed the daughter from getting there before the protagonist got home and found the journalist there. WE GOT HIM AS A POV CHARACTER. WHY? WHY DID WE NEED THAT???? all the stuff with the daughter was so unclear too? everyone here is an unreliable narrator which is fine but the way that they were unreliable was so like....... confused and muddled and nonspecific. did the daughter and the protagonist drop the ex-bff when protag got elected and ice her out? did ex-bff stop talking to the daughter for no reason and then get mean to her For No Reason? i have genuinely, honestly, really no fucking idea. and it's all like this. two characters will have wildly different perceptions of an event or a string of events, and there is NO clarity on which of them is right. which like, i'm struggling to articulate my issue with this, because that's a narrative choice you can make, but i think it does a disservice when we just... all of them are like this? they're all the same amount of unreliable, which makes it completely impossible to tell who actually IS unreliable, and there's just no way to know what actually fucking happened in this fucking book. i like an unreliable narrator. i don't like not knowing what the hell happened in a book like. On The Whole. there's no follow-through. there's no contextualization. there's no way to anchor any of it to reality. it made me nuts.

the protagonist was self-centred, sanctimonious, boring, and non-committal. there was nothing likable about her, either as a person or as a protagonist. she took so little action in her own life, and there was like... the lying that i was promised in the dust jacket didn't pan out in any kind of interesting way. she lied about finding the journalist at the bottom of the stairs when really she pushed him, but this is revealed so fast it barely matters, and the rest of the book has two small instances of what seems to be her misremembering minor interactions with other characters and saying something didn't happen when it did, and then being Seen As A Liar because she. lied about the initial finding the journalist. and then i guess not disclosing the things with the pics of her and her ex-tutor but... it just. didn't pan out in a way that was at all interesting. everyone else also sucked but it was never clear how much? the daughter's step-mom was like everyone thinks of me as the Other Woman and it's not fair 😠 and the journalist was doing some shitty journalism things though nowhere near as much as protagonist thought and the daughter did some shitty things too and never had any kind of sympathetic impression to me.

there was what i referred to often as like, milquetoast girlboss feminism all over this book. it was STEEPED in it. the whole thing was like, a thesis on how dangerous it is to be a female politician, which, yes! this is SO true! but it had nothing to say about that reality except that it exists, and there was also like... idk it felt very like, this is a perspective and landscaped shaped by White Girl True Crime in a lot of ways? she was obsessed with her own risk and this was never examined in any way. a lot of it was legitimate and real and a lot of it wasn't. she thinks every single person she interacts with is out to get her- specifically every man, which okay, i can get that. but also like... it caused her to lash out at everyone she knows, freak her daughter out, be unreasonable and cruel to her roommates. she had a simultaneous need to think she was two seconds from being murdered at all times and also to act to everyone around her like everything was fine, while also expecting them to take every concern she had immediately seriously at defcon 1. this was never unpacked. she wore a well behaved women rarely make history shirt in the second paragraph, talked about The Trolls all the time, and the book quoted harry potter in the daughter's section. it made weird and uncomfortable choices with race, when it engaged with race at all. just. overall hm.

here is an example of the way that race is dealt with here, in a section where the protagonist is about to be cross-examined by the crown prosecutor.

lot going on HERE huh! and it is all completely unexamined. yikes!

and then there’s this - the only other time when a character is identified as a person of colour. it’s a very uncomfortable thread where the like. it girl, most popular kid in school who the protagonist's daughter's friend abandoned her to suck up to is the only other identified character of colour in this book aside from this prosecutor and the daughter is repeatedly - REPEATEDLY - referred to as, and i’m directly quoting here, “an english rose.” she’s just so pale and thin you see. that’s why she’s so bullied, you see. because she’s so so so white. and so so so sooooooo thin. qualities well known to cause bullying in high school students- anyways. here’s the description of the most popular girl in school. who the daughter’s friends abandoned her for.

once again! YIKES! LOT going ON here! let’s unpack some of it shall we! (putting aside some of the... cringeworthy attempts at a grownass woman trying to emulate the slang of current day 14 year olds. i know it’s been eleven years since i was 14 but “bae-girl” is Nothing and im embarrassed for her just reading it. a lot of her Teen Talk has sounded good and natural but this is NOT it and her texting slang was atrocious.)

anyways. so. idk how it plays off to have your protagonist’s redheaded extremely pale skinned “english rose” daughter set up to be the target of social ostracism and bullying because her friends all chose trying to get close to the school’s super popular It Girl, who is described Like That. i think Not Good! not that there are never school hierarchies that fall down these lines but way these descriptions are presented and the language around them plus the whole “you an author are making up the social landscape here and are making some questionable choices villainizing a “confident, mean, hard” brown girl in contrast to the sensitive and delicate extremely pale white girl”” thing is like……. there are choices being made and i don’t like them.

and then there’s the ex best friend herself. who the daughter took the creepshot of and sent it to the boy the exbff likes. who is described like this (content warning for some SURPRISE! fatphobia as well!)

Flora hated her for this. She hated her for being so comfortable with her body. Despite her rounded tummy and the fat bulging over her bra, she liked herself enough to parade around the changing room, her double-Ds shoved up, her head tilted to one side.

i would like to remind the court at this time that this is the same ex-bff who is apparently basing a large part of her bullying campaign on how So So So THIN this girl is. because you know. the fat girl bullying the thin girl for how thin she is - another famously common high school social dynamic. you know how fat girls rule the school and thin girls are just so- sorry i can’t even stick the landing on that sarcastically lmao. again. not that things never shake out this way but 1. this is an author making choices and doing zero critical engagement with them, 2. this is playing into some bad shit and i hate it.

there are so many other things i could get into here. i have so many examples of sentences that were written so, so badly. i have so many specific moments that sucked ass. but i would keep going forever if i didn’t stop, i just want to leave on one last note: it’s not that the protagonist was a shitty person. it’s not that bad things happened and no one saw proper consequences. it’s that like- it’s that none of it was intentional. she sucked and i don’t think she was supposed to, at least not that much. i was promised a protagonist who was a liar. that was not what i got. i got ONE lie and two instances where she seemed to either mildly misrepresent or misremember a specific conversation she had. i got Poor Protagonist, She Told One Little Panic Lie And Now EVERYONE Thinks She’s A LIAR! Poor Baby! i got milquetoast girlboss white girl feminism that was completely uncritically presented. i got ‘everyone is out to get me all the time’ and this was given as a perfectly reasonable thing to believe and act on not ‘the real danger she faces has warped her worldview and she either needs some serious help or to find another career, as it is causing her excessive amounts of distress and she is lashing out at everyone in her life without consideration for their feelings or experiences or fears. ugh.

anyways. forthcoming are the two (2) shining lights from this book aka moments that were so fucking ludicrous they made me laugh hysterically. but that’s a separate post that i’ll make in a moment.

[ttlmt]

do it bee

alright.

there’s a few things i kept seeing confusion about, so i’ll try to clear it up the best i can with my amateur enthusiast knowledge. 

disclaimer: all of this could be completely wrong. this is just what i’ve learned from working as a bookseller in the past and taking a few classes on publishing and just generally doing a lot of personal research into it both as a reader and with interest in joining the industry. i do not know dan’s individual situation, nor am an expert by any means. i am also coming at this as a canadian, so the innerworkings of uk/us publishing are just from what ive learned here.

you will get through this book: 

bee’s possibly incorrect far too long guide to the publishing industry and how international editions and signed copies might work for daniel howell’s new book ‘you will get through this night’ available for preorder now

follow @daysuntilthisnight​​ for a countdown #shamelessselfpromo

1) the uk vs us edition

the uk cover is the one without dan’s face on it. the us cover is the one with dan’s face on it. its not uncommon to have multiple covers and putting someones face on the cover is a very american publisher thing to do, personally i really like both. the cover you get is dependent on where you/your country order the book from.

if you ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell, you will be getting the uk cover, as it is a uk business. if you ordered from the us store right when the book was announced and before the signed copies sold out, it will probably be the uk cover (more on that in the bit about signed books). after that, i’m not sure because i do not know how irlmerch’s distribution works. 

one thing to note is all books have an ISBN number which is like a universal barcode for the book at all stores and it comes from the publisher. the beginning of the isbn dictates the publisher/language/product type/etc and the end identifies the particular book. the uk edition and the us edition have different isbn numbers, as will the ebook, audiobook, etc. this is a good way to figure out which edition you are buying from your local bookstore, and you can cross reference with the isbn in uk or us stores. its usually listed at the bottom of the product page online.

if you live in a country besides the us or the uk, it depends whether the book is being distributed or published in your country. distribution is often more cost effective, and is usually the way it works. as far as i know, dan’s book is being distributed (not published) to the countries on this list with the exception of the us where it is being published (not distributed). if a book is being published in a country, it will have a different isbn and sometimes a different cover. if a book is being distributed it will have the same isbn and cover as the country it is distributed from (usually the closest publishing hub, so london or new york in this case).

to know what edition is in your country, you can compare the isbn numbers and/or the covers. you can also take a look at your other books to see whats normal in your country to get sort of an idea. im assuming europe will get the uk edition but im not sure about other countries.

here in canada for example, our books are usually distributed from the US meaning you will be getting the us cover if you order the book from a canadian store. i ordered from irlmerch when dan’s book was announced though, so i think im getting the uk edition.

1.5) covers and book design

most of the time, especially with new authors, the author has very little say in the final decisions re: book cover and book design. they usually get input, and the publisher gets final say. book design is also a very different thing then general graphic design and professionals genuinely go to school for this. thats not to say there arent bad book designs or that regular people can’t do it too, it’s just something to keep in mind. 

2) signed books vs signed editions

there are a few different ways that signed books can work. primarily, there are signed editions and signed books. both are physically signed by the author, the difference is when in the process these books are signed.

signed books is the ‘old-fashioned’ way, where the author will sit at a table and sign copies of their book. the author usually signs on the title page and for a long time, this was the only way to do it. they have already been printed by the publisher so they will have the same isbn as unsigned books. signed books are usually more limited, often they can be personalized, and if you have ever gone to a proper book signing where the author signed the book in front of you, you have a signed book. signed books are also sometimes made available at the authors local bookstore because they are able to sign them in person. as far as i know, the books that were ordered from danandphilshop or shop.danielhowell during the initial signed run will be signed books. i also believe there are/were limited signed books from uk retailers, i think those are/were signed books (not editions) where the isbn matches the normal first edition of the book. 

signed editions are a fairly new thing, and have made signed books so much more accessible which is awesome! signed editions have a different isbn then their normal edition and signed book counterparts. they are technically two different books and are listed as a separate book in stores. that is because signed editions have one (1) extra page. this allows the author to be sent boxes of pages, not books, to sign BEFORE the books are bound. the pages are then sent back to the publisher to be included in the final printed copy of the book.

signed editions help authors to sign even more copies which allows for things like signing hundreds of thousands of copies of a book in some cases. if you are familiar with john green’s books (and hank’s too), he is a large part of the reason signed editions increased in popularity. for example, his book turtles all the way down had a signed edition and a normal edition, they were the same price but the signed edition included the one more page that john had signed. this also allows authors to do fully signed first edition runs, such as john’s new book the anthropocene reviewed (which comes out the same day as dan’s book lol), where every single copy of the first edition is signed (so there is no such thing as an unsigned american first edition, this is becoming more popular for some authors to do especially if the first edition print is not very a large quantity).

if you saw dan’s ig story from today (which was almost definitely a delayed post lmao), he was signing the signed edition papers that will be bound in the signed edition copies of the book in the us. as far as i know, it is only the us publisher that has this option. as you can see on the us store books-a-million, there is a signed edition and a normal edition. they are listed seperately and there are different isbns. the signed edition will be bound with the one extra page that dan has signed. 

both types of signed books have been actually signed by dan and are so cool to have if that’s something you want and are able to get. if not, you’re not missing much.

3) book piracy and pricing

i’m not here to tell you what to do, so i won’t. i know being able to buy books is a privilege and dan is a millionaire. full stop. he doesn’t need the money and you probably do.

books are expensive. the difference between cost and price of a book can vary drastically. does your calc textbook actually cost the publisher $300? probably not, but it does cost more per copy to print less copies of something (like a textbook) then it does to print millions of copies of a nyt bestseller. does a $24 book cost that much to develop/print/distribute? maybe. 

but most of that money goes to the publisher. the fact of the matter is authors get very little from the actual sale of the book (usually only a couple dollars), which okay, not exactly convincing you against piracy but hear me out. the actual number of sales a book has lets a publisher know how successful a book is, which helps to decide how many more prints/editions are made and often dictates future opportunities for authors.

a series of books that i love is very popular on tumblr, but there was a serious problem a few years ago where copies of the book were being pirated so much, sales were down so drastically, that the publisher almost didn't continue to publish the series. in the case of smaller authors or your favourite ongoing series, buying your copy of the book could be the difference between the existence of the next book or not.  in dan’s case, i don’t know what his future plans are, idk if he plans to write more in the future, but i do know that publishers look at previous sales to decide if they are going to publish a book in the future.

ebooks are usually cheaper and more accessible if money is an issue. used books, while not helping with sales, are also a great option if you’re willing to wait and look around. you can often request your local library buy a book and read it that way, or they might even already have it. there probably even audiobooks and ebooks at your local library. stores like am*zon are usually cheaper as well. online stores of large chains like b&n and indigo will often have the books cheaper to match amazon. however if you can, support your local bookstore.

of course if the author is a horrible person do whatever tf you want. also fuck the textbook industry. 

tldr: dan worked really hard on his book with professionals to make it the best it could possibly be. i think it looks beautiful, and it will help a lot of people. the publishing industry is a mess but really cool. check the isbn of the copy you ordered if you want clarification or you can just wait for the surprise. 

[literaticat]

I saw you comment on a blog called My Cautionary Tale In Book Publishing that got posted on FB Kidlit 411. This has been going on for over 8 years. Writers have tried to get it on Writers Beware so others can be warned to no avail. What else can writers and illustrators do so others don't have their dreams smashed?

KidLit411 is a Facebook group; for those who aren't members, this was the blog post that the asker is referring to: My Cautionary Tale in Book Publishing. I did google the "publisher" but have no special knowledge about them, I've never heard of them or submitted to them or seen their books.

Let me be clear: I'm not naming the publisher here because I don't particularly relish getting sued for talking shit about people I don't know on behalf of a stranger. And it's not my story to tell. I linked to the blog post by this author because they were comfortable sharing this much of their story publicly, and the publisher name is easy to google (I found it in 30 seconds!). Please don't hound this author for more details, and of course, don't harrass other people who are published with this company or even the person/people who run this company. The authors may already feel betrayed or confused -- OR, maybe their experiences have been very different! But regardless, going off on strangers isn't the move here, in my opinion. The people directly affected have every right to be upset, and can tell their stories publicly if they feel comfortable doing so, but it's not cool to dogpile on them or try to force them to be public about it if they aren't comfortable. And if THEY want to name names, presumably they have the receipts to back those claims up!

Here's the thing: There are a TON of bad publishers out there. Some are outright scammers, straight up bamboozling authors. Some are run by well-meaning folks who just don't know what they are doing. Some of those will figure it out with a lot of bumps along the road, and are eventually OK (but you probably don't wanna be on that ride while they are figuring it out!) -- some will just go bust and disappear. And probably there's every kind of permutation in between!

There are also plenty of smaller publishers that are terrific, who make lovely books that get distribution, whose authors are happy, etc etc. SMALL does not in any way automatically mean BAD.

SO, it is VERY IMPORTANT that authors and illustrators get educated about how to spot a scammer or otherwise not-so-effective publisher. Before you submit to a small publisher or accept a contract from a small publisher, PLEASE do your due diligence!

Here are some red flags:

-- Go to their website. Does it look professional? Scammers can make good websites, so a polished website is no guarantee of anything; great publishers might have so-so websites, so a so-so website is not an auto-scammer -- but basically, if it is terrible, rife with errors, etc... that'd be a red flag for me.

-- Are the books... ugly? OK that's subjective -- but do they look well-designed or "home-made"? Have you heard of any of the books or authors, or ever seen any of the books in a bricks-and-mortar bookstore? If not, that'd be a red flag for me.

-- Do they have distribution? They should SAY on their website what company distributes their books, and when you go to that distributor's website, that publisher should be listed as a distribution client. If a publisher doesn't have distribution, those books will be highly unlikely to ever be in regular bookstores.

>>> Here's a great post about some other ways to do research and how to check if a publisher has distribution <<<

Here's an example of a small publisher who is doing everything right: Tachyon. When you go to their website, it looks legit. They have books that look like real books, from authors you might have heard of. They have a history of publishing, which can be verified; they have won legitimate awards, which can be verified; their books get reviews and blurbs, which can be verified. Their distributor is on their website (and a quick check of that distrubutor's website does indeed show that they are a distribution client -- verified!). When you look their books up on Edelweiss, they are listed, with tons of information on the page. When you look the books up on WorldCat, the books are available in libraries.

Can the same be said about the small publisher in question in the blog post above? Well. You tell me! (No.) When I go to their website, it's confusing. I've not heard of the books or authors or seen them in stores; some of them are cute but not all of them look professional. They claim things like "featured on Good Morning America and NPR" -- but there are no links, nor can those mentions be found. (I'm not saying they don't exist -- just, if they do... you'd think they would LINK to them???) Some of the books have GoodReads reviews, but that's about it. They are not listed on Edelweiss, a couple of them are on WorldCat with a handful of libraries, but not all of them. When you look for how to request review copies, or customer service, etc, the link inexplicably goes to Sourcebooks (a legitimate large publisher) -- but there's no indication of any of these books on the Sourcebooks website, nor any way to verify that this publisher actually has anything to do with Sourcebooks. In another place, they say that they are distributed by Ingram (a legitimate distributor/wholesaler) -- but when I look their books up on Ingram, they are listed but all say UNAVAILABLE FROM INGRAM. When I googled an ISBN, I found that it seems to have been printed by Lulu, a print-on-demand self-publishing platform.

So look -- I'm not rendering judgement here, I'm just sayin... that's a lot of red flags, yeah?

[hatake-no-sharingan]

A Well Loved Copy (PART 3: Darkness swallows us)

Kakashi x Reader

Story Summary: Your cozy life as a bookseller is disturbed when a box of the worst books you could ever imagine arrives at your store, and with them a certain silver haired ninja to whom you are definitely not attracted.  

PART 1   PART 2

Chapter summary: Kakashi goes on a mission, but things don't go as planned. Injured, and with his chakra almost gone, he has a strange dream that might change something in him.

Relationship: Kakashi x Reader

Warnings: Mentions blood and injuries

A/N: Hi guys! I know I'd promised to update this story every week or two weeks, but I've had a few things on my hands lately. I might take longer to update, but rest assure, I will finish the story (I have everything plotted already :) <3 This chapter was a bit hard to write, but it's necessary for the development. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll try to update again as soon as I can. Enjoy and let me know your thoughts.

P.S. This chapter is parallel to Part 2, it's just from Kakashi's POV so you know what's going on while Y/N is waiting for him at the bookstore.

Special thanks to my amazing editor @seventh-line Thanks to her hard work, this thing is readable. <3 I hope you enjoy it.

IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST: CLICK HERE

Darkness swallows us

There was blood. So much blood. He was supposed to be used to it. He thought he was. Before him was a sea of red, adorned with a few colorful spots sporadically distributed across the landscape. Were those in his mind?

He certainly felt lightheaded, and perhaps a bit cold. There was a dull ache somewhere in his body, but he couldn’t pinpoint the spot.

As he tried to raise his left arm, a sharp pain in his shoulder let him know the blood belonged to him. Maybe he was even injured in other places he wasn’t yet aware of, the blood was far too much for a simple gash on his shoulder.

He tried to get past the pain, gaining more awareness of his body trying to sense the usual buzz of chakra. It was almost gone too, he felt it slipping just like his consciousness.  

He didn’t panic, however. His encounters with death had been one too many, he could almost say they were part of the job. He and pain, were now old friends.

Instead, he shut his eyes gently and let his head roll back, crashing with the soft grass.

He stood in front of the bookstore, the one he’d visited a while ago, in the search of the new edition of Icha Icha. Sunlight struck his eye violently. It took a few moments to adjust to the brightness

He looked inside the store, looking for her amongst the piles of “New arrivals” “Hottest summer reads” and “All time favorites”. She was there, arranging another pile. A gentle frowning on her face, forehead creased in concentration. She was so careful with each copy, placing them in a beautiful pyramid shape, akin to the others. He couldn’t see the title of the books she was arranging, but they were surely ones she cared for, based on the way she delicately handled them.

He observed her quietly, enjoying her calm movements. It must have been hot inside, because her cheeks started flushing, despite that, Kakashi felt cold.

A sudden urge to go inside hit him. He reached for the door handle, but his hand slipped right through. He tried again, but it seemed as if he was made of nothing. Just thin air.

From the inside, she lifted her gaze towards him, with a look of recognition, and he felt a wave of relief.

He made a move to open the door, however his hand passed right through the handle once more.

Then her expression changed abruptly, as she stared beyond Kakashi, as though he wasn’t there. Her eyes widened, fear written all over her delicate features.

Heart pounding, Kakashi turned around to see what had scared her, but saw nothing, just the plain old buildings.

She made panicked gestures towards Kakashi from the inside, and mouthed some words he couldn’t hear. It seemed like something important. there was a desperation in every move she made.

Confused, he tried again, only to watch his fingers slip through the handle for a second time.

She urged him to come in, her hands waving rapidly in front of him.

Now he was getting desperate. His head felt odd, almost as if he had stopped breathing seconds ago, and was  experiencing a lack of oxygen.

The bookseller’s face contorted with pain, and Kakashi saw that ribbons of darkness were wrapping around her body, consuming her.

He tried to call out, scream her name, but there was nothing there.

Seconds later, darkness had swallowed them both.

He awakened with a jolt.

His heart was beating so fast, like it was trying to escape his chest. He took a gulp of air and was satisfied to feel the way it filled his lungs. He studied his surroundings and it seemed he was alone, in the middle of a forest. His body felt drained, and his head still felt cloudy, so he closed his eyes again.

“Kakashi Sensei?” Said a familiar voice.

“Is he awake?” a deeper voice asked

“I don’t know, I thought I saw him move”

“I don’t think he’s awake”

“Kakashi Sensei, can you hear us?”

Kakashi nodded slightly, eyes still closed due to the sickness, though he know recognized the voices as Kurenai’s three students.

“Try not to move much, Sensei. I’ll go fetch Sakura, Hinata stay here with him. Make sure he’s okay.”

"Yes, of course"

Hinata sat next to him and kept quiet. Her silence was very much appreciated by the tired jonin.

He must’ve fallen asleep again, because when he regained consciousness, Sakura and the Godaime were staring down at him.

“Oh good. You’re awake. I’ve cleaned most of your serious wounds and given you medicine. All that you need to do now is rest so you can restore your chakra.”

The hospital’s cold atmosphere gave him a strange sense of serenity. He didn’t know how he got here, hopefully he hadn’t been too much of a burden on the team.

“Now that we know he’ll survive, tell me, Sakura. What went wrong?” Asked Tsunade as she finished wrapping one last bandage around Kakashi’s arm wound.

The mission was supposed to be simple. Locate and report. He’d done it so many times, and this time, he had a really good team with him. Team 8 and Sakura had come to help him find one of Orochimaru’s rumored hideouts.  With their talents as trackers, they managed to find the location quickly, however, they weren’t expecting to be met with a dozen of Orochimaru’s experiments, led by none other than Kabuto.

The kids were good fighters, but the odds weren’t in their favor with the enemy doubling their own numbers. Kakashi’s instincts had kicked in, so he put himself between the young shinobi and Orochimaru’s men, if one could even call them human. Kakashi took them all out, though it had come at a great cost.

His chakra reserves were almost emptied, and his wounds had caused him to lose too much blood. That’s how he ended up here.

Kakashi was deemed unfit to fill out the mission report, due to his injuries, a silver lining in this mess. Sakura  meticulously explained everything to the Godaime, turning in a beautifully written, and extremely detailed report, unlike the one he would’ve done.

His time in the hospital went by excruciatingly slow. He had a few visits, none very interesting since they all lasted at the most 5 minutes. Everyone was busier, and not even Gai had had the time to entertain him as usual. Kakashi had been desperate to get out of there.

The only thing that seemed to occupy his mind, was the image of the bookseller, as he flipped through the pages of his book. However, that too left him uneasy, as he recalled the images he had seen in his delirium. Whenever he pictured her, a deep fear gripped his heart, as he was reminded of the darkness he’d seen swallow her. Nightmare or not, he needed to get out and see her.

———-

Kakashi was discharged from the hospital two weeks later, just in time or he would’ve attempted an escape.

He now stood in front of the bookstore again. His hand shook as he grasped the handle, but immediate relief hit him when he made contact with the warm metal. He sighed, and pushed the door open, eager to see the face that had haunted his dreams.

"Hello, welcome to Red Leaf Bookshop. Can I help you with anything?" Called out a petite woman from behind the counter. His stomach sank when he realized, it wasn’t whom he’d been looking for.

Taglist: @incorrect-titans-quotes @iwanttobesomeone @galaxydefenderjulia@artlovingloser @sachi-sims @savemefromthispayne @maimori @alexanderlightwoodii @mazakiackerman @tshuuls @aubraella @kleklerosa @theunknownrandom

[justablobfish]

Finding a present for that person that is impossible to find a present for

Day 13 of my Advent Calender. A new drabble or oneshot everyday until Christmas, following the Continent’s favourite found family and what they’re up to in the winter season. Based on this prompt list

Read on AO3

Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

______

It's going to be Jaskier’s second time visiting Kaer Morhen. 

Two years ago, Geralt had asked him only a few days before they were scheduled to separate for the winter. It had all been rather sudden and the whole season had passed in a blur of anxiety and excitement.

He hadn't even met the whole family then, Geralt's little brother Lambert hadn't made it to the keep that year. Then, the year after, Jaskier got delayed by his family until he couldn't make it to the keep anymore; the path had already snowed over. 

This year though - this year Jaskier is determined to make the most of his time at Kaer Morhen and charm his way into the hearts of Geralt's family until they can't imagine winter without him anymore. 

Step one is to make a good first impression after the Wolves haven't seen him in so long. And the easiest way to do that is to get the perfect welcome gift for everyone scheduled to be there. 

He comes across the first gift mere weeks after the snow of the previous winter has melted. After the tedious experience with his parents he decides to spend some time in Oxenfurt to recuperate. 

In his favorite dingy little bookstore he finds the perfect present for Eskel. 

Yes, yes, a steamy romance novel might not necessarily be the best way to prove himself to his lover's family, but the cover of the book shows your usual handsome warrior with very revealing clothing clutching a swooning damsel in distress in his overly muscular arms. Except this protagonist is drawn with an enormous scar covering the left side of his face. 

He's extremely handsome. So is Eskel, of course, but whenever Jaskier tells him as much he just dismisses the compliment. With this book though, Eskel will have to believe him that scars are seen as attractive by quite a number of people. Why else would they draw the cover like this? 

His second gift he also finds in a bookstore, though this place couldn't possibly be more different than where he found the book for Eskel. 

The "Ye Olde Books" in Toussaint sells only the most esteemed antiquities to rich noblemen who never intend to read them and only display them to prove their supposedly good taste and to exaggerate their riches. 

Jaskier quickly determines the oldest book the store has on offer. It's still younger than the recipient of the gift, of course, but the fairy tale stories it holds should still be similar enough to the stories that must have been popular when Vesemir was a child. 

After the events of the last winter Jaskier at least managed to guilt trip his parents enough that he has no trouble paying for the delicate tome. 

As for Lambert, Jaskier didn't meet him the one year he spent at Kaer Morhen, but he and Geralt ran into the younger Witcher on the Path once. It was a brief encounter and Lambert didn't seem to particularly like Jaskier. 

Geralt reassured him afterwards that it's nothing personal and that Lambert doesn't like anyone. 

Even though they couldn't possibly be more different, Lambert somewhat reminded Jaskier of himself. Jaskier is happy with his place in the world now, but he had to carve it out for himself, which hadn't always been easy. He remembers a time when he, too, felt trapped in the life he was born into, never good enough to satisfy his parents or to become a person in his own right, not just the heir to a legacy he wanted nothing to do with. 

So the bitterness Lambert carries around with him feels very familiar. 

His third gift, therefore, is just as expensive as Vesemir's and on top of that requires a large amount of convincing to work out. Luckily, Jaskier has practice annoying someone enough until they agree to anything. He spent most of his life perfecting the skill with the involuntary help of his lover.

By the time winter comes around again, the specially commissioned Gwent card will have started distribution. Though of course Jaskier will carry a copy of the new Lambert hero card with him as well and present it to Geralt's younger brother. He's made sure it would be stronger than the White Wolf card that became popular in recent years. 

Ciri's gift is easy enough. Jaskier simply buys the biggest, fluffiest teddy bear he can find. Ciri is going to roll her eyes at him and claim that she isn't a kid anymore, but that's exactly what makes it the perfect present. With all that destiny business, the kid forgets far too often to allow herself to be a child sometimes. 

How to get this monstrous thing, which is nearly as tall as Jaskier, back to Kaer Morhen is an entirely different story, though… 

The gift for Yennefer isn't hard to find either once he meets up with Geralt and travels with him again. In a run-down little general store in a village in the middle of nowhere, in the furthest corner of the shop, hidden under a fishing net and a set of gardening tools, lies the most atrocious knitted sweater Jaskier has ever seen. There's no reason to abandon old traditions, even if he and Yennefer don’t meet up at Oxenfurt anymore. And in case Yennefer doesn't attend Kaer Morhen this winter, he'll simply keep it around until the next time they meet. The knitwear is so incredibly ugly, it would be a shame to waste it. 

Geralt informs him one day that Lambert will bring a plus one. Not a boyfriend or close friend or anything, just a superficial acquaintance. The fact that Lambert risked his own hide to save the man's life is - apparently - entirely coincidental and without meaning. It's just that this other Witcher of the Cat school has no other place to spend the winter. Nothing more. 

Geralt calls his little brother an emotionally constipated idiot and Jaskier can't help but burst out laughing at the hypocrisy. 

Jaskier isn't sure whether to get this Aiden a gift as well since he never met the man, but as so often in his life, fate takes matters into its own hands. 

He's perusing his favorite clothes store in Vizima when he finds the most beautiful scarf. It's big and woolen and perfectly flashy. Every handspan or so the pattern and colours change completely. All in all it shows every colour of the rainbow. 

That is not the gift for Aiden, of course. But it's going to look great on Jaskier, especially since Geralt still insists he wears that old grey winter cloak. Granted, the cloak is warm, but oh so boring looking. The scarf will be just the right accessory to add a bit of color to his winter wardrobe. 

The gift for Aiden he comes across as he leaves the store. A little boy, who must be the owner's son, sits at the side of the road and busies himself with thread and needle. 

Curious, Jaskier steps closer and finds that the boy is attaching pieces of felt to a simple hairband. 

Once the kid is done he puts the headband on and the felt pieces stand up in such a way that it appears like the boy has kitten ears growing out of his head. 

Jaskier considers for a moment but then decides that if this Aiden is voluntarily hanging out with Lambert, he must have a good sense of humor. He buys the headband off the boy and heads back to his and Geralt's inn room. 

Maybe it's because he's traveling with Geralt and can't really go looking for a gift for the White Wolf, but by the time their departure for Kaer Morhen rolls around, Jaskier has a little something for everyone, except Geralt. He doesn't even have an idea what he could gift to the man. Anything practical like a new whetstone, better armor or a fancy dagger is something that Geralt is far better equipped to pick out himself. Jaskier has little knowledge about such things. 

And while Jaskier has spent the last twenty years of his life convincing the big oaf that he deserves pretty things every once in a while, too, Jaskier can't think of anything that wouldn't just be in the way when they eventually set out on the Path again. 

The end of autumn creeps closer and closer and Jaskier’s head stubbornly remains empty. It shouldn't be this hard to think of something that Geralt would enjoy. After all, Jaskier has known him for over two decades now. But it seems like everything he could get his favorite Witcher he has already gotten him at some point during their travels. 

He still has no idea when they pass the last village on the way to the Witchers’ keep. 

Or when they start making their way up the mountain path. 

Maybe there's a pretty rock he can pick up? 

What? No, that's a dumb idea. He's not just gonna pick up a random rock just because he's desperate. At this point he'll just have to accept the fact that he has no gift for Geralt.

They reach the keep after two days of tedious climbing - not something Jaskier missed from his last visit - and are greeted at the gates by the other Witchers. Geralt's family members each welcome Geralt with a short hug and a pat on the back, while another man, who must be Lambert's tagalong, awkwardly stands to the side. Vesemir and Eskel nod at Jaskier courtly, Lambert only grunts at him. 

Jaskier makes eye contact with Aiden who rolls his eyes at him apologetically over Lambert's behaviour. 

Then Geralt brings Roach to the stables and they all quickly make their way inside. 

In the large dining hall they meet Yennefer and Ciri. Apparently they only came here a day earlier via portal, making Jaskier and Geralt the last to arrive. 

"I have welcoming gifts!" Jaskier addresses everyone. 

Eskel reacts to his present with eyes narrowed in confusion. Then they grow wide with realisation and wonder. 

Lambert scoffs when Jaskier hands him his parcel. He doesn't scoff again after he unpacks it. 

Aiden grins at him widely and immediately puts his gift on. 

Vesemir simply hums appreciatively. It reminds Jaskier far too much of Geralt. He supposes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. 

Ciri, as expected, reacts with a pout and the declaration that she's not a child anymore. Still, she clutches the plushy to her chest and refuses to let it go when Aiden says he'll take it if she doesn't like it. 

Yennefer snarls at her sweater and quickly turns away from the group to hide it, but just like Ciri does with the teddy bear, she clutches it to her chest protectively. 

Which only leaves Geralt. 

"I, uh…, " Jaskier stutters and stares at his empty hands. 

"Hmm," Geralt hums. "Saving the best for last?" 

He grabs Jaskier by the shoulder, turns him around so that he's facing the room. He hugs Jaskier from behind and places his chin on Jaskier’s shoulder. 

"Seems like you got me the best gift of all," Geralt hums. "Look!" 

Confused, Jaskier glances about the room. Vesemir and Eskel are sitting in a corner, flipping through their respective books. Lambert is chasing Aiden through the room, who has stolen his Gwent card and is waving it around tauntingly. Ciri holds the teddy out to Yennefer, who's holding her sweater to the bear's chest to see if it would fit him. There's nothing out of the ordinary that Jaskier can spot. 

"I don't under-" he begins. 

"Everyone's here," Geralt explains. "My whole family in one place for the very first time. I couldn't possibly ask for more." 

[aye-write]

So I'm thinking of self-publishing through Amazon and I'm a bit confused as to why most people don't. Is it better to write a query letter and submit it to the agents or Amazon?

Hi Nonnie! I’m not intimately familiar myself with self publishing as I’ve only ever dabbled in trad publishing, but I don’t think there’s a “better” option as it’s very much down to each person’s circumstances and personal views. I’ve compiled here a list of benefits for each kind of publishing that some friends have discussed with me, so I do think it’s a good idea to read them over (as well as the disadvantages of them both) to help you make up your mind!

Benefits of Trad Publishing 

Payment (advance) upfront

More support in the industry rather than doing everything yourself 

Working with professionals who have more experience in the industry 

Experienced editor provided 

Experienced marketing team and cover designers, who know the market distribution - getting into bookstores all over the country, that type of thing - which you also don’t have to pay for.

Opportunities provided by the publisher, such as events, booths, various and sundry

Confirms you meet a quality metric - you’re “good enough” to be in shops

Agent to lobby for you in case you and the publisher/editor/cover design/whatever disagree

Agent to negotiate contracts and deal with all the legal stuff

Agent to figure out translation deals and other rights, so you don't have to

Also they have better connections and are more likely to get those deals

Benefits of Self Publishing

Complete creative control - while the publisher has final say over the blurb, cover, etc. in trad pub, self pubbing means YOU make all those decisions

Higher royalty rates. You’ll keep nearly 100% of your profits while self-pubbing, whereas trad means the agent and publishing house get a fair cut of any royalties

No deadline stress! 

You can choose everyone who will be involved in your book’s creation - usually in trad, you’re assigned folks and don’t get a say in who works with you

Quicker publishing times - Trad pubbing can take YEARS for a book to hit the shelves from the moment it’s accepted whereas self pub can have a quick timeline from writing to publishing 

More frequent paydays

You keep all your rights, protecting you from potential things like publishing houses folding, loss of contract from poor sales, agents losing their jobs etc.

More opportunity for “niche” publishing - you’re not held hostage by the market or by your word count being longer than the market average, or even your genre. You can put up literally anything you want!

No rejections! 

So a lot of this really depends on what you want, what you are willing to do, and what will work for you in the long run. Self-pubbing means you will have to do a LOT more, and things like marketing and gaining reviews (which are important to both kinds of publishing) are even more important for self pubbers. There are also a lot of upfront costs in self pubbing - from cover art to editing to proofreading services, etc., and that can put a lot of folks off should you choose to use them.

I was given some great advice from a friend that works in publishing in that your debut makes you a valuable commodity in the publishing world, so self-pubbing anything, and then maybe deciding to move to traditional publishing may negatively hinder you as you’re no longer a debut. People get around this by using pennames etc., but I know it’s negatively impacted a friend of mine who rushed to self publish her book on Amazon then had a change of heart two years later as she didn’t believe it was representative of her best work anymore. She cannot remove that book from Goodreads or anything like that, even though she can remove it from Amazon, so she’s lost any chance of traditionally publishing under her preferred name. 

I think the important thing is to take it slow, figure out what you want, and don’t rush! There is no right answer as to what you should do. If you want to upload your book to Amazon, then do plenty of research, maybe network with some people who have gone through the process, and make sure you’re aware of all the expectations and potential pitfalls. And perhaps if you want to pursue the whole “write a query letter and send to publishers”, that’s okay too! It’s all about what suits you. 

Good luck, nonny!