#do I think other people are wrong for enjoying those things?

[tarot-by-e11e]

PAC: What do you need to learn to love about yourself?

Never forget to only take what resonates and leave what doesn't. This is a general PAC reading, so if the first pile you chose doesn't resonate with you, then maybe you're meant to read another pile.

(this is for entertainment purposes only)

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Pile 1: Ace of Swords, 4 of Coins, 9 of Cups

You may feel like an outcast, Pile 1. You don’t think like other people. You might have also been scrutinized for being able to “work smart”, being told, “Why do we have to do it a new way when the old way still works?”. My dear Pile 1, you must learn to love your inner visionary. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve the current system of things. You sought to evolve and you hope by sharing your ideas, others can grow and move forward with you. You’re also able to see through the mess and create clarity for yourself. Embrace the parts of you that can naturally find ways of life more efficiently and cost-effectively.

Another great thing about you that deserves a whole lot of love is your practical approach towards financial literacy. Others might have called you stingy but they didn’t know you might have grown up in a place of lack. So you had promised yourself to work smart so that you won’t have to worry about how you’re going to afford to put food on the table, a roof over your head, and clothes on your back.

There’s nothing to be ashamed about knowing how to make money work for you. You have this natural ability to be wise and practical about your resources. Be proud that you know how to also be secure internally as well. Establishing healthy boundaries is a skill we all need yet not everyone learns. People call you guarded, I say you know that not everyone deserves to have access to you.

Finally, never shame yourself for being able to achieve your goals and dreams in life, pile 1. You should allow yourself to enjoy the fruits of your labor unapologetically. This is a rather hard pill to swallow for those with survivor’s guilt. Being able to become the person you’ve always wanted to be means those people you loved who didn’t evolve with you might get left behind. This makes it difficult for you to allow yourself to savor your success when you have loved ones who haven’t achieved their dreams yet.

As much as you want to be happy for them, you can’t make them achieve their success for them. They chose their way of life as you did yours. If your success bothers them, it’s not your responsibility to coddle and make yourself small for their comfort. So, if you feel you deserve to go on a solo vacation for your hard work, then go for it. If you want to move into your own apartment, go right ahead.

You have every right to use your money to whoever you see fit. You’ve worked hard to earn that, so treat yourself right with the fruits of your labor. Don’t apologize for that promotion. Never apologize for your happiness. You just need to remember one thing: you can’t control how others react to your success.

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Pile 2: Moon, 9 of Swords, 4 of Swords

First of all pile 2, one thing you should learn to love about yourself is your intuition and your ability to easily see through the BS. Yup, I said it loud and clear. You see through the BS in people. They can’t lie to you, even to save their lives. Your intuition is a gift that helps you in any way that can help lead you into your highest good. Though it seems that pile 2 feels bad that you see through the superficial two-faced niceties among your peers. You might have experienced moments where you muttered under your breath, “I hope I’m wrong” only to be proven right yet again. Don’t you think it’s high time you should stop lying to yourself and embrace this amazing gift?

Another thing you should learn to love about yourself is knowing your limits and being able to give yourself the space to honor and validate your fears and anxiety. Don’t beat yourself up for being aware of what you can or cannot do because knowing your limitations means you can utilize whatever skills you have at hand that are to your advantage.

Also, not everyone is resilient enough to be able to hold space for their fears, anxiety, and insecurities without letting the aforementioned swallow them whole. You know yourself well enough that you need to be able to safely allow your feelings to be seen and validated for your and everyone’s good. You know what it’s like to be at the bottom, so you know that with your acquired knowledge backed by personal experience, you can help someone else ease through their own fears and anxiety.

Finally Pile 2, you need to stop feeling guilty about prioritizing your self-care and rest. You know what your body requires to be able to do your tasks every day. There’s nothing wrong with being able to listen to what your body needs intuitively. When you know you’re about to rest, you know yourself well enough that you need to pause, reassess, and re-strategize your approach moving forward.

You should also be proud of knowing how to protect your peace. Some people who call you selfish for putting yourself, down don’t like the fact that they can’t manipulate and abuse you to their advantage. The issue is with them, never with you. Knowing how to protect and defend yourself is something you should be proud of. You know your worth and you also know what you won’t tolerate. So, you shouldn’t fault and cave into to toxic societal norm of conforming to unrealistic and unethical double standards. Embrace your self-worth. Never feel bad about putting yourself first.

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Pile 3: 5 of Swords, 10 of Coins, Justice

Hi Pile 3, what you need to learn to love about yourself is your conflict resolution skills. This pile feels like my eloquent speakers pile. Could also be my bookworm pile. With an extensive vocabulary and unfortunately growing up in a hostile environment, for the sake of your survival, you grew up having no choice but to be good at conflict resolution. I know it’s an odd thing to love about yourself but another great thing that you should learn to love about yourself is you know when to stand firm and fight, if necessary.

Like, if diplomacy is useless, you’re ready to take the offensive approach. But this has always been your last resort. Knowing what it’s like to grow up in a chaotic environment if you had a choice, you would avoid recreating that childhood chaos in your current adult life. You’d exhaust all diplomatic approaches before you’re forced to take the offensive stance. That’s one of the many things about you that deserves to be loved and appreciated.

What you need to learn to love about yourself is your legacy/roots/ancestry, pile 3. This could also be my POC / mixed race / immigrant pile. It sort of makes sense why you’re a bit iffy about your lineage, especially if you’re mixed race because you might have been bullied when you were younger. So, it’s a bit tricky to love a part of you that your immediate environment teased/bullied/ostracized you for.

You must have dealt with a whole plethora of traumatic stories because you don’t look like most people around you. There’s nothing wrong with being different. There’s nothing wrong with being an immigrant. There’s nothing wrong about being of mixed race. You are beautiful/handsome/lovable just the way you are. The issues is never with you so never shame yourself for your lineage. You deserve love, respect, and happiness for simply existing.

Finally, don’t feel bad about being honest and holding others accountable. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when you are upholding your integrity. You should learn to love the parts of yourself that cannot stand injustice. You have this natural instinct to defend the powerless and speak for the silenced. Not everyone is brave enough to fight for their beliefs and the rights of others. Your need for truth is quite remarkable. So never feel bad about not being a good liar. It just means you don’t see the point of lying to someone.

In this age where manipulation and mental games are being praised as “owning your power”, people, like you pile 3, are rarer than black opals in a Pacific ocean full of diamonds. So never let anyone bully you into conforming to this mental gymnastics just to be accepted/in a relationship. People who are meant to be in your life don’t have to be lied to in order for them to want to be with you. You can only keep someone that wants to be kept.

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Pile 4: 10 of Cups, Page of Wands, King of Cups

From what I can pick up for you pile 4 is that you should be proud that you came from a loving home. I know, it kind of sounds like too much of a flex. To have been able to grow up in a loving environment while your peers grew up in chaotic and traumatic environments tends to leave a heavy guilt in your heart. A part of you feels bad that you can’t relate to having a crappy childhood because your parents actually did the work and healed together so that you can have a happy childhood.

So… whenever your friends or peers open up about how they feel unloved and unappreciated at home then they ask you about your childhood, you must have lied to avoid putting salt in their wounds. I understand the need for camaraderie but you shouldn’t feel bad about having come from a loving family. If your friends are okay with this suggestion, why not invite them over? Ask your family if they can be more understanding and considerate towards your friends. To be an example that not all adults are bad.

Another interpretation of this card is to be proud of your happiness. Don’t feel bad that you actually have a loving partner while your friends are still single. Don’t be ashamed of being seen with your significant other. It’s not like you’re intentionally making your single friends jealous whenever you answer their questions about your love life.

You should be unapologetically proud of your happiness, especially when you know you did nothing wrong. Why apologize for your happiness when everyone wants to be happy, in some shape or form? Also, consider this as a word of caution, if someone around you isn’t happy for your happiness, best to cut ties with them. It’s not wise to be around someone who doesn’t know how to be happy for the happiness of others. This doesn’t just involve relationships, this can also be applied to promotions, achievements, and awards.

Something about yourself that deserves more love pile 3 is your cheerful disposition and adventurous spirit. It’s not shameful to be able to see the silver lining. It’s not bad to be able to see the good in people. With how our world is in constant chaos and peril, we need people like you who haven’t lost hope for a better and brighter future.

So never feel bad about being perceived as naïve when you’re simply not projecting your bad experiences to the new people you meet in your life. What’s so bad about still being able to be excited about the glimmers in life? There’s nothing to feel bad about being able to cater and nurture your inner child. So never let the world shame you for never giving up hope.

Finally Pile 4, you should learn to love your natural inclination for diplomacy. Knowing when to listen to your heart or when to lead with your head is such a life-changing and valuable ability that majority of us are constantly learning to master day by day. You might have been told that you’re so mature and wiser than your age, which might have been internalized as this insatiable need to always be reliable and dependable. At times, it might feel like such a burden at times; to always be the person everyone relies on.

So… since you are aware of the weight of the responsibility of being the reliable person for everyone, you should use your ability of discernment to decide a schedule on when will you entertain request for counsel for those who need you. You know what your needs are, and you also know that you need to be able to live a balanced life to be of service to others. So, learn to be okay with putting yourself first so that you can help others better in a later date.

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Please do let me know how you resonate with your pile in the comment section below.

Thank you so much for looking through my PAC.

Tagging my personal account: @e11e27 as a reminder.

[smoooothoperator]

What Was I Made For?

03: Look What You Made Me Do

Charles Leclerc x driver!OC (Dafne Morelli)

childhood enemies, forced proximity, accidental pregnancy, enemies to lovers

Warnings: the day after, some misogyny:)

a/n: Hello hello!! This time is short one, I think... But is a very important one :) I had a rellay rough weekend because I'm sick and I still had to do some rehearsals (believe me, is not funny having a cold and singing at the same time) I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!!

Masterlist

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If you want to be tagged don't forget to message me!

Every way of feedback is very welcomed

Something heavy was wrapping my waist. And the duvet is not that heavy.

And it feels warm… So warm… My whole body feels warm.

I groaned, opening my eyes slowly and groaning when the daylight blinded me.

“Fuck…” I groan, feeling an instant headache, probably the hangover from last night.

I looked down at that arm. Those rings… I know those rings. White and blue crystals. And a bracelet.

It can't be.

“What the fuck?!” I scream, turning around and finding him laying next to me. “Get out of my bed!”

“Fuck, Melanie… What the hell…”

Melanie?

I jumped out of bed and immediately noticed I was naked. Just like him.

“No…. No, no, no, no” I mumble, grabbing the first thing I found to cover my body. “Get out of here!”

He groaned, turning around and finally opening his eyes. The shock in his face probably was higher than the hangover, making him fall from the bed to the floor. He was naked. Completely naked. No shirt, no pants. No boxers. Nothing. Bare, completely bare.

“Get out of my fucking room” I said seriously, my blood boiling slowly. 

“You are in my room” he frowned, covering his dick with his hand. “Get out. Where is Melanie?”

“Are you stupid?! This is my room! My things are here, look!”

He frowned, rubbing his eyes with his free hand and looking around. My suitcase was there. My backpack, my makeup bag, my book. 

“Fuck” he whispered.

I clenched my jaw and looked at him. There's no way… There's no way we did it. Why? Why the hell did he come here after what he did last night?

“Get out” I groan. “Did you use a condom at least?”

“I would rather be dead than fuck with you, keep dreaming” he scoffed, grabbing his clothes and getting dressed immediately. “I'm not one of those you can fuck”

“Fucking asshole” I groan. “You know what? You were right! I fucked with Mick! Go on, go tell everyone I did! Oh no, wait. You already did last night”

“See? You don't deserve the seat” he scoffed. “You do exactly what people thought women would do to get in this sport. Fuck your way into a seat. You are a…”

I frown looking at him and then at the shoe that was on the floor next to me. I clenched my jaw and grabbed it, pointing at him with it, threatening him.

“Come on, say it if you dare to. I am a what?” I scoffed. “Get out of here before I call the security of the hotel. Get the fuck out of here before I kill you!”

“You won’t do that” he laughed, collecting his clothes. “You are too soft, you even apologize when you take someone off track. See? You shouldn’t be he-”

The heel of my hand flew to the other side of the bed, hitting him right on the chest. He looked at me with a mix of surprise and anger, rubbing the spot where the heel hit him.

“The next one goes to your eye, you hear me?” I groaned, grabbing the other heel. 

“You are crazy!” he groaned, grabbing all his clothes and running out of the room before I did what I promised.

“You don’t know a shit about me” I groaned right when he slammed the door.

When he closed the door I was still standing in the middle of the room, feeling shivers all over my body, making me run to the bathroom and throw up.

I feel gross, so gross. I barely remember what happened last night, only that he humiliated me in front of all the people that attended the party, then someone dragged me out of the club and brought me to my room. Then hard knocks… And his lips pressed on mine.

Why didn't I stop him? What the hell is wrong with me? Why did I let him do whatever he wanted?

“You are better than this” I said, looking at myself through the mirror, pointing at the reflection. “This is just a bump in the way, a small obstacle to avoid. He won’t get on your nerves, you are better than him. Yesterday you showed it. It is time to show him who you are”

I took a deep breath and smiled at the reflection, nodding. I am better than him.

I grabbed clean clothes and headed to the shower, taking a long time to get ready and relax, washing my body over and over again, needing to erase every mark of his fingerprints on my skin, needing to erase every bit of him.

He will regret every word or thing he did to me. Not only what he said yesterday. I’ll make him regret everything he did to me.

Driving out of the hotel was as tedious as I thought it was going to be. Maybe even more.

My family probably left to go home early this morning, so I was now on my own, with sunglasses to hide the dark circles under my eyes, music to entertain me, and a long way to my home.My phone was burning with messages and notifications, but since my manager was the one that took care of my social media, I just ignored it.

Until I received a call. 

Fred.

Fuck.

“Hey, Fred… Everything okay?” I sighed, answering the call.

“Is it possible for you to come to the factory? It's important”

“Eh… Sure, I guess?” I frown.

“Good. It's urgent, so make sure to arrive as soon as possible”

“Alright” I sighed as he ended the call.

Urgent? What can be urgent to not wait some days to let us rest after the race? They normally let us have a free day before doing meetings and interviews.

Now the joy of winning a race is slowly slipping through my fingers, afraid of receiving a warning because I didn't work as a team. 

But why would they give me a warning? I did everything they asked for, I obeyed and listened to my engineer. I was respectful with them and even with the cars around me, trying to make a perfect race without mistakes. 

Before I knew it I was already driving through the Marinello streets, watching their people waving at me and walking towards my car as I approached the entry of the factory.

There was no one there, not as always. And somehow, that surprised me. They knew our cars, they were always waiting for one of us. But the entry was empty.

I parked my car and frowned when Charles' car wasn't there, and somehow that turned on the alarm in my brain.

They are not happy because I won? That's it?

“Hey, Fred” I smile nervously, closing the door of his office behind me. “So… I'm here. What was that important thing you wanted to talk about?”

“I heard that yesterday, during the party, things happened” he said. “That Charles started it”

“Oh… Yeah, that” I sighed, sitting on the chair after he pointed at it with his hand. “It's okay, I want to forget it. He was clearly drunk”

“We are aware of that” he nodded. “You’ll see… We are aware that being a woman in this sport is hard, that the way here wasn't as smooth as a man can have. And we are so proud to have you in the team…”

“But?” I sighed. “There's a but there, right?”

“But…” he nodded, smiling weakly. “Well, I want to know that whatever he said is not true”

“What?” I frowned. Is he really asking that? 

“It's for your own good” he said quickly, raising his hands. “We want the best for the team, and we want to have a good image of our drivers…”

“You want me to tell you that I didn't get my success because I sucked someone's dick” I scoffed. “Right. Well, let me ask you something? You've got this position because you bribed the owner?”

“That's out of context” he frowned.

“No it's not. It's exactly the same” I frowned, standing up. “I succeeded because I never gave up, no matter how many people thought the same as you about me. I gave nothing but blood, sweat and tears for this dream. None of you have an idea of what it is to be a woman in this sport. So please, don't you ever assume I sucked someone's dick to have a seat because it's never and will never be true”

I saw his jaw clenching a few times, looking at me with serious eyes. My breathing was heavy, somehow altered with all the anger I have been feeling for the last hours. 

“I'll make Charles apologize in public” he said. 

“And one last thing” I said, swallowing thickly. “Never make me record things or be in the same room as him to act like friends. What happened last night was enough to test my limits, and he clearly didn't respect them at all. He never did, anyway. Don't make me be friendly with him ever again”

“Sure” he nodded. “He will be punished for his behavior”

“Thank you” I sighed, taking a deep breath and walking out of the office.

What the fuck is wrong with this world?

Going home was a thing I wanted more than anything. I wanted to lay on my couch, watch my favorite series and cuddle my cat.

“Hey Athena” I smiled, looking at the blue eyed Ragdoll that came towards me, purring and rubbing her head against my legs.

I left my suitcase and bags in my room, throwing myself into my bead and groaning. My cat came, purring and rubbing her head against my cheek, laying next to my head.

“Oh, Thena…” I sighed, kissing her little head. “Men are so stupid… We don't need them, right? They think they can be better than us, stronger than us… But a world only dominated by men would end like something similar to the Wall-E movie. Or even in another war. Uhg… Stupid men”

Athena blinked slowly, purring loudly and licking my cheek softly, making me smile and sigh. 

Life is better when you have a cat. Fuck men.

I sigh and sit on the bed, picking up the white and brown cat in my arms, smiling when she climbed up to my shoulder to sit there. I smiled, rubbing her head softly, and walking towards the kitchen.

“Oh, Nina came to feed you, hm?” I smiled softly. “You were a good girl so she gave you wet food, huh?”

I smile, feeling ber head bumping against mine as I talked with her softly.

My home is my safe space. I can be myself, free of hate and the competition. Free of people that want more and more of me. Here I'm only Dafne, nothing else.

“See? Even fictional characters are idiots sometimes” I sighed, looking at the TV and pointing at Sebastian Stan while rubbing Athena's head. “Look at him, he acts nice at the start and then he ends being in the mafia”

Athena looked up at me, purring and somehow killing me with her eyes.

“Right, we love Sebastian Stan” I nodded, chuckling when I heard my cat's soft meow. 

When the movie ended I sighed, grabbing the plate of my lunch and putting it in the dishwasher. 

I should plan things for this week, choosing outfits for the interviews and events, reserve hotel rooms near the events. I have to do so many things…

The ringtone of my phone made me flinch, sighing softly when I saw Fred's name on the screen.

“Hey” I sighed. “L-look, what I said earlier..”

“Charles refuses to apologize” he interrupted me. 

“As I imagined” I scoffed. “And that punishment? He won't race in the next race? Will you fire him?”

“We will put the updates on your car on the next race” he said. “And we'll prioritize you over him”

“What?” I frown. “Are you for real? Only that?”

“There's anything else we can do, Dafne…” he sighed.

“There is! Is not fair, Fred! He questioned my whole career!” I exclaimed, madly. 

“And we will have a heavy talk with him about this” be frowned. “Is the middle of the season, I can't fire him”

“Right” I scoffed. “Well, I guess this is something that needs a lawyer”

“Dafne, don't do anything stupid” he said. 

“Stupid? Stupid is what you call a punishment! He refuses to apologize? No worries! I'm sure a demand will make him change his mind” I scoffed.

“L-look… If you want I can give you a free week… so you can calm down and disconnect-”

“Calm down?! Oh, believe me, Vasseur. I'm really calm right now” I frown. “I thought that we were on a year where the equality was something real, but I guess that's only for the publicity and to have more followers, right?”

“You are taking this too far, Dafne…” he sighed.

“No I'm not” I said. “You talk about women in this sport but none of you respect us! What do I have to do to gain everyone's respect? Put a warning too? Because it seems that winning a race is not enough”

“No” he sighed. “No, I'm sorry, okay? I'll make everything to make sure he understands that what he said is wrong”

“Don't worry. I'll do that my way” I said. “I think it's about damn time for him to know that I'm not one of those girls he can play with”

“Just…” he sighed, taking some deep breaths before talking again. “Don't fight. Not physically, not verbally. Things are already messy”

“Sure” I sighed, ending the call and clenching my jaw.

Athena walked towards me, jumping on top of the table and looking at me with her big blue eyes. Of course she knows something is wrong.

“It's time to show him what he have done, Thena” I said, rubbing her head. “He said I am a bitch? Then I'll be a bitch. A really bad one”

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[nonbinarylocalcryptid]

Astyanax procrastinates a little that thing about going to save his baba in the same very way I'm procrastinating my thesis a little

Enjoy the snippet

Astyanax was afraid.

He was just a boy after all, so he postponed his departure from Troy a few hours. Enough time to eat something, gather his belongings and clear his head.

He cooked whatever fish he had left, sit at the beach, looking at where the city once stand, lost in thought.

"Would you be so kind to share some food with these old man?"

The boy jumped and coughed, as the bite he was chewing almost shock him.

"I didn't mean to scare you." Said the gray haired man.

"And somehow I believe you". Answered Astyanax. "Please sit with me and suit yourself, if not, it would go to waste."

"That would be tragic."

"Indeed."

The stranger took a site at the other side of the little fire, yet Astyanax didn't pay much mind, distracted as he was. That didn't mean he wasn't ready to run away at the very first sign of danger from the old man, but sharing a fish wasn't much of an effort.

The Trojan ruins stood tall in the distance, making Astyanax sad for something he couldn't quiet place. Can you be sad for something you don't remember? Is there such thing as homesickness for a place that was never home? And yet he had spent a week alone wandering in his homeland, and he had known peace there.

"Did you know that those walls were built by Poseidon and Apollo themselves?" The old man's voice brought him back.

"I can't say I have heard that story," replied Astyanax with amusement, "would you tell me more?"

"Would you accept it as payment for the meal?"

"The meal was given freely, but you can pay with your story if that's your wish." Assured the kid.

The old man had a soft expression when he looked at the walls, Astyanax dared to think that he saw something similar to pride in his eyes.

"For irrelevant reasons to this story", started the man, "the two gods were punished by Zeus to live as mortals for a year, and looked for work here, at Troy. The king at that moment wasn't a fair man, and ignorant to the fact he was treating with gods, he only hired the two of them to build the walls."

"That's definitely some shitty behaviour right there."

"Language."

"Right, sorry. Please keep going."

"The king gave them a year to complete the work, but they did not relent. Poseidon was skilled in the ways of the rock, and Apollo was a diligent work partner. Together, they make the walls grow more and more everyday. The year passed and there was only a thin gap in the wall that could have been done in an hour, but the king said the work wasn't completed in time so there was no payment. And the gods left."

"Let me guess," said Astyanax, with a mischievious smile, "because Zeus' sentence was over, they have regained their power, and make the king face the consequences of his actions."

"You're correct, more or less." The old man confirmed. "I remember when Troy was in its full glory, what a beautiful place it was."

"I don't know, maybe." Melancholy was back in Astyanax's face.

"What's wrong? You are young, but your eyes are old, my boy."

"I...I guess that's a good way to put it. I was born at the war", confessed Astyanax, "but I'm too young to remember Troy, or anything related."

"And yet, here you are."

"Not by choice." Muttered the kid to himself, the old man heard him, but didn't say anything. "Did Apollo came back to Troy?"

"He did," answered the old man, "he sided with the Trojans. The Acheans had disrespect him, and Zeus was telling him to do so." When he said that, Astyanax snorted. "What's so funny about it?

"It's just...the gods, they are gods, yes, but they are also... people, emotional people. I'm sure he even cursed the Achean Camp, just to because he could."

"Something like that."

"See? People."

"Maybe you're right."

"Talking about people, were you there? At the war?"

"I was," the answer was concise, "why?"

"Did you ever meet Hector of Troy?"

There was a silence.

"You could say that, why the question?"

"Could you tell me what was he like?"

"Wise," the answer came quickly, "he was wise, and honourable. He was trying to do the right thing in a time no one was listening." The old man stood up, having finished his food. "I'll leave you to it, thanks for the company, and the meal."

"Thanks you for the stories." Replied Astyanax.

Despite his own words, the old man made no move to leave.

"Your bow, did you make it?"

"Yes, I did, why?"

"It's a good bow, I'm sure every arrow you shoot with it will land right in its target."

"Thank you, that's so kind..." Astyanax stopped talking, because somehow, while he was looking at his bow, the old man had disappeared. " Of you."

He shook his head, trying to calm himself. He was sure he didn't imagine the encounter, the fishbones the stranger had taken out of his food were still there, in a little neat pile. Even the sand where he were was disrupted.

Whatever, he was no threat and meant no harm. Astyanax finished his meal and stood up to put out the fire.

He had spent enough time among ghosts, time to go looking for the living.

[panlight]

hi! i’ve been really enjoying hearing your thoughts on the whole “olympic coven” thing (tbh it wasn’t something i had really thought about a lot before — i always just thought of them as “the cullens” lmao so i’m learning lots of new things)

but omg let me just say re: your possible alternative names post — “st. carlisle and his disciples” is canon!!!!!!! to me!!!!!!!!

i feel like to a lot of the other vamps the cullens do seem kinda cult-y, and even to the ones who know/like carlisle, it does kinda feel like there’s a little bit of an eyeroll and a “yeah my weird friend carlisle who likes helping humans — strange but charming i suppose”

i guess maybe it wouldn’t be like an “official name” but i absolutely 10000000% can see other vamps calling them that casually, or maybe it’s one of those things that was a joke one time and then it stuck

anyway, i just wanted to say that reading “st. carlisle and his disciples” sent me into absolute hysterics and then i was like “oh shit that’s so good tho like that’s literally them”

i hope you have a lovely day!! 🥰🥰

I'm sure I'm not the first person who has used some variant of that, but I find it so funny too and it seems like human nature--or, well, vampire nature--that Carlisle's whole deal would rub some vampires the wrong way, or they'd be inclined to tease him.

I sort of imagine it really started in Volterra, with its proximity to Rome/the Vatican and the seat of the Catholic power. Carlisle's not Catholic, but I'm sure to ancient vampires who pre-date Christianity, that distinction is hardly important. "The Vatican's that way, Your Holiness," etc.

I also suspect that early on Carlisle was probably a bit more "preachy" in the sense that he was 'young' and native and idealistic and the first few times he met another vampire he had probably assumed they'd be THRILLED to learn the Good News that animal blood was enough and they didn't have to kill people. And he'd give them this pitch that probably sounded like the vampire equivalent of someone knocking on your door and trying to convert you to their religion.

There's also this thing people do where they get kind of . . . defensive, in a weird way, when they meet someone who opts out of doing something that 'everyone' else does. For example, I don't drink alcohol. Not for religious or moral reasons, but more about family history, mental health and a genuine lack of interest. But some people get SO WEIRD when this comes up, like they think I am judging them for drinking or think I think I'm better than them for not drinking. And I imagine Carlisle gets this from other vampires, too that even if he's not proselytizing, other vampires still get this defensive reaction and respond with "okay St. Carlisle we get it, you're pure and holy and we're soulless demons."

But yeah, pre-BD I wouldn't have guessed he has as many friends as he does; I had kind of gotten the impression that only the Denali coven and Aro liked him and everyone else found him kind of annoying, the Ned Flanders of vampires. BD paints a different picture of vampires who like him, would risk dying for him, but I imagine there's still an element of teasing there, especially with the likes of Siobhan and Garrett. Maybe less the off-putting religious zealot who tries to convert you and more like the weird hippie vegan friend who lives on a commune. Nice guy, means well, but super weird.

[seetangus]

Aghhh i would love a reader x azula with the song "i dont smoke" by mitski inspired fic. Especially the line "So if you need to be mean, Be mean to me." PLEASEEE IF U HAVE TIME ERNKEKEJA IM BEGGIN U!! Like imagine azula snapping and being mean to her soldiers or smth

I Don’t Smoke - Azula x reader

[masterlist]

Azula x gn reader based on the song “I Don’t smoke” by Mitski. warnings: angst, verbal and physical violence, burning

534 + 282 words

Please enjoy

“Azula, don’t do this! They did their best, they don’t deserve this!” You rushed to Azula, desperate to keep her from inflicting mass punishment on her soldiers.

If you need to be mean

“The failed me. And they will suffer.” “But…” “Stop defending them! I am their princess and if they do not live up to my expectations they will have to endure the consequences!” “Azula, if you would just listen to…”

Be mean to me

“Are you trying to question my decisions, y/n?” Azula stared at you, her face distorted with anger. You had been in this situation before. Azula did love you, but in moments like this she was not herself. Still, you were determined to keep her from hurting her soldiers.

I can take it and put it inside of me

Even if it meant you would get hurt instead.

“Yes Azula, I am.” Your voice trembled. “It is not justifiable to punish all those people only because they cannot meet your unreachable standards.”

If your hands need to break

More than trinkets in your room

Azula came closer to you. “Do you realise what you just said, y/n?”

You can lean on my arm

Azula caressed your cheek. Her hand was boiling hot. “You know I love you, y/n”, Azula purred. Her touch burned. “And you are lucky that I do.” Her hand heated up even more. Tears began running over your face, evaporating when meeting her hand. “I would not hold back if it was someone else.”

As you break my heart

The pain was too much. You knocked her arm away and wiped your tears with your sleeve. But your skin wasn’t the only thing that burned; your heart felt like there was nothing but ashes left. You looked down at the floor, unable to meet Azula’s gaze.

Just don't leave me alone

“Azula, why are you doing this?” You tried to suppress your sobbing.

Wondering where you are

“I am doing this because I am right, why can’t you accept that! The soldiers failed me so they need to be punished, there is no other righteous way! And you cannot keep me from doing what I want.”

I am stronger than you give me

Credit for

You swallowed. “If you truly loved me, Azula, you wouldn’t hurt those people. You know punishing innocents is wrong. You know how much it hurts me to see you do it! I know you are better than this!”

If your hands need to break

More than trinkets in your room

You could not imagine what Azula was thinking now. You did not want to. You could practically sense her pent up anger and feel the masses of pure fire she was able to unleash now in the air.

You can lean on my arm

As you break my heart

You had done what was right. You had stood up against the unjust princess.

Against the cruel Azula.

Against the person you loved more than everything.

You knew she would make you pay. You swallowed the pieces that were left of your broken heart and closed your eyes, expecting your loved one’s rage.

< • ◇ • >

Hello. I hope you liked this! I tried my best; this was my first time writing something based on a song. I really liked this!

I couldn’t let it end like this though, so I searched up the english translation of two Bach pieces I really like and put together a somewhat happy ending, even if it’s not fully in character for Azula.

Enjoy.

< • ◇ • >

If the tears on my cheeks

can do nothing,

o then take my heart as well!

You waited but nothing happened. “Don’t hesitate, Azula. If my voice is not loud enough to reach your ears, hurt me. If it stops you from hurting the soldiers, hurt me.” Tears streamed down your face.

Yet let it be, in the flow,

as the wounds gently bleed,

the offering-bowl as well.

Your voice was nothing but a trembling whisper now. “Just please, I beg you, remember that I love you.” You kept your eyes closed, waiting for the inevitable.

But still, nothing happened. Instead, when you looked up again, Azula looked back at you with terror and guilt written all over her face.

O great love, o love beyond measure,

that brought You to this path of martyrdom!

When your eyes met hers, she rushed towards you and embraced you, her guilt becoming unbearable when she felt you flinching away at her touch. Her voice was unsteady and worried “I… I already hurt you, y/n…” You tried to escape her embrace but she clinged to you and buried her head in your neck like a child that awoke from a bad dream. “I am so sorry, y/n.”

I lived with the world in delight and joy,

and You had to suffer.

Her voice trembled with guilt: “My anger was too much. I did not see your suffering. Please forgive me. Please tell me you are alright! Please, y/n!”

You were not alright. Healing would take time, as would completely forgiving her. So you chose to speak truth:

“I love you, Azula.”

“I love you too, y/n.”

< • ◇ • >

[original text]

Können Tränen meiner Wangen // Nichts erlangen, // O so nehmt mein Herz hinein! // Aber laßt es bei den Fluten, // Wenn die Wunden milde bluten, // Auch die Opferschale sein.

[BWV 244, Part II, No. 52]

O große Lieb, o Lieb ohn alle Maße, // Die dich gebracht auf diese Marterstraße! // Ich lebte mit der Welt in Lust und Freuden, // Und du mußt leiden.

[BWV 245, Part I, No. 3]

[scarlettohairdye]

Out of curiosity, what does make a ship annoying to you? Like, the actual canon portrayal? How the fandom is about them? You just don’t like the look of them? The fact that they’re everywhere? I don’t have any ships blocked (just tons of other stuff) and I’m wondering what would make me block one.

Usually an absolutely visceral "yuck" reaction that has nothing to do with the content of the ship and everything to do with me. I don't generally mention which ships I have blocked because I don't want to be an ass about it to the people who like those ships, but it's like... Some ships are pickles to me. Fine for people who like pickles, but when I order a sandwich and find a pickle spear on my plate getting its gross pickle juice all over my beautiful grilled cheese, I have been BETRAYED by Big Pickle and I want to never have to deal with it again.

[samarecharm]

Random question about the “they should make persona for people who like good games” post. Do people think the persona series is that bad? I know they aren’t perfect but I wouldn’t call them bad games.

I had a wholeass essay written out before i realized im too tired to make it sound coherent. AND my only experience is p 4 and 5, so my opinion on it means jack shit. All i can say is that the most recent titles suffer from bad writing. (And repetitive gameplay, but thats a different issue). Be it poorly written characters and dialogue, or poorly written interactions and plot, it is hard to take some of the stuff in the more recent games at face value. One could argue that that just means the game is subpar, not necessarily bad, but thats subjective; bad means different things to different people. And i say this as someone who thinks this game is Not the best but still found it incredibly engaging and entertaining.

[annalrk]

as much as i enjoy playing fashion dreamer from time to time, i wish it were like idk better? or had a better gameplay loop, bc i wanna play but a lot of it i find is fomo for the events which.... isn't great.

[mariathechosen1]

Was Anyone But You a good Much Ado About Nothing adaptation? No, not at all, but fuck it was fun!

[fabcreature]

in my post about the muppet christmas carol and kermit and piggy's hypothetical kids and interspecies muppet reproduction, i am acting quite serious and really dramatic, because it's funny you know. it's the muppets and we're discussing something meaningless on the internet - of course i'm being dramatic for the laughs

but the amount of people in the notes interpreting the conversation as people (me and others commenting) actually being angry or serious.

they're making me go apeshit.

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[astralazuli]

So there's that D&D class quiz going around, & I took it & was so deeply offended I got Paladin.

& so I have had conversations with both Bestie & Birdfriend about this grave insult & they both were like, "Well... They have a point?" & informed me that my desire to absorb hits meant for others & deep drive to help whenever I actually can & strong convictions make me a bit Paladin-coded.

& I am just so... Idk. It's just interesting to get glimpses of yourself from other people's POVs. To be told that my defining characteristics are protecting & healing others & being incredibly fighty about the things I care about... Especially as someone whose brain specifically fixates on whether I care enough, do enough, give enough... Yeah. It's just kinda wild.

Anyway, I'm now adjusting my self-perception to include the fact that if I were a D&D character, I would be an Oath of the Ancients Paladin & not a wizard & that actually that's okay.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[seventh-district]

wow!!! nothing better than watching your AO3 subscribers stat go down every time you post a new chapter of your current fic!!!

[girlscience]

having some thoughts today about sexuality and for the first time in a long fucking time they are positive. had an experience last night and i won't go into detail, but afterwards i was thinking "that was for me and i don't want to and would not want to ever share that with anyone else". and now i'm having thoughts today about maybe my sexuality is for me and it's not about other people. it's about what i enjoy and what feels good to me and maybe i would invite someone else into that someday, but my sexuality would exist for me even if i never had a sexual partner in my whole life. i shouldn't worry about or struggle with or try to label myself for that potential partner or my family or my friends or random people online or strangers on the street. it's just about me and what i enjoy. what makes me feel good. and for some reason that's not something i ever really realized before. my sexuality isn't a nutrition label on a can of soup, it isn't some political opinion or experience, it isn't alienating to others, and it certainly isn't a moral stance. it is an internal experience for me to enjoy first and foremost and that has nothing to do with other people.

[ducktracy]

Idk how influential you are on the LT fandom on a Whole but you definitely inspired me to check out the originals, and especially appreciate Porky/Daffies more. It helps that my favorite short for years was Yankee Doodle Daffy!

AWWWWWWWWW THIS IS SO SWEET THAT IS 100% MY GOAL THANK YOU!! you don’t know HOW much this means to me!

i tend to stay away from fandom spaces/don’t consider myself a part of the fandom, so quite honestly your guess is as good as mine—i HOPE people think of me or associate me with these cartoons HAHAHAHA but 100%, my goal is to spread the joy of the originals and shed a light onto the people who made them and how their experiences and input inform the cartoons as a whole, and maybe how our perceptions of these shorts and characters have changed as time has gone on…

there’s no right or wrong way to enjoy the franchise, but i really do think it is a more fulfilling experience to Experience The Originals for yourself. i really enjoy talking about cartoons that are given less love from a mainstream angle and that 100% includes the Porkies and Daffies (and is also why i’m so adamant about spreading The Porky Gospel; he gets such a bad rap and is so underappreciated and every person i’ve spread my gospel about him to seems to really like or appreciate himself after HAHAHA. Daffy will always be my #1 favorite but he doesn’t really suffer from this, though i absolutely think his ‘40s persona gets a lot of misunderstanding as well)

THIS REALLY MEANS A LOT TO ME GENUINELY. making the plunge and checking out the cartoons is the best decision i’ve ever made. there’s a lot of rightful hesitancy to be had since there are SO many cartoons and it’s hard to find a starting point (and not to mention the many, many, many, many aspects that have aged poorly and/or were poor to begin with), but i can’t begin to tell you how fulfilling this experience has been.

so, if anyone who’s following me is cautious about making the plunge, i encourage you to give the originals a chance, ESPECIALLY if you’re into more modern LT media to familiarize yourself with the source material. you absolutely do not have to be a nut like me and watch every single in chronological order, but these cartoons are so ingrained and formative in the animation landscape today that i think anyone with an interest in animation should definitely give them a chance. and, if you’re a bit of a history nut like me, it’s very fun to see the evolution of culture as a whole as the years go on… radios evolve into TVs, the rambunctious attitudes of the shorts during the war years take a more domestic turn after the war, celebrity references depend on the decade, even the stylings of music, and of course the art styles of the shorts themselves… it’s so fascinating from a multitude of reasons. i really can’t tell you how happy i am to hear this (and Yankee Doodle Daffy is a GREAT favorite to have!)