#do they count as 'old ocs' if you still plan to use them someday?

[tejoxys]

old OCs never die... a post just drew my attention to the fact that yesterday was June 18th, and I went "aww, I missed Alto's birthday"

[drabbles-mc]

Someday When It's Over

Horacio Carrillo x OFC

For Day 11 of @narcosfandomdiscord's July Smut Challenge: knock up

Warnings: 18+, smut, language, hurt/comfort, light angst, talks of pregnancy

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Me? Digging out an old OC that I used once and never planned to write more for and giving her the whole gamut of human emotion and experience? It's more likely than you think! real talk though i love these two now i will be staring at the wall thinking about them Special thank you to Ashling for giving me a slew of great brainstorming ideas that led me to this. I owe you my life 😌

Narcos Taglist: @garbinge @thesandbeneathmytoes @winchestershiresauce @sizzlingcloudmentality @panagiasikelia @616wilsons @hauntedforsst @mirabee @buckybarneshairpullingkink @boomclapxox @nessamc @southotheborder @supersanelyromantic @padbrookcottage @mysun-n-stars @raincoffeeandfandoms @justreblogginfics @ashlingnarcos @proceduralpassion @artemiseamoon @narcolini @hausofmamadas @cositapreciosa (If you want to be added to any of my taglists, please let me know!)

When Carrillo got home and found all of the lights in the house off already, he knew that something wasn't right. Even on the nights when Lina went to bed before he got home, she always left the light on that was just inside the door, a little extra guidance for when he arrived and she wasn’t there to greet him.

He easily maneuvered his way through the pitch-black. He’d memorized the layout of his house a long time ago. Sure, it changed a little bit when Lina moved in and brought her whole life with her, but she didn’t change it so much that it was unrecognizable. He still didn’t have to turn the lights on.

By the time he reached their bedroom, his eyes had adjusted to the darkness. He could make out the shape of her on the bed, sheets pulled up over her. She was lying on her side, facing away from the bedroom door. He stepped into the room, shutting the bedroom door behind him even though it was just the two of them in the house. If she was awake and heard it click shut, she didn’t say anything, didn’t move.

Carrillo stripped down out of his fatigues, leaving them draped over his dresser. His footsteps were almost silent on the hardwood floor as he quietly stepped over to the bed. Sliding under the covers on his side of the bed, he slowly made his way closer to the center of the mattress. She still hadn’t moved, and that was how he knew she was still awake. She could sleep through plenty, but not through him getting in and out of bed in the middle of the night. It would always wake her up, cause her to roll and turn so that she was facing him. She’d always grumble at him in a sleepy haze, words that she wouldn’t remember in the morning after she fell back to sleep.

Slowly reaching out, he carefully rested his hand on her hip, thumb tracing lightly over the thin fabric of the bedsheet that was draped over her. Before he tried to pull her back to him, or move in closer to her, he gave her a moment to react, to say something.

Then he heard the shift in her breathing, the way she tried to stifle the unsteadiness of it. A frown pulled at his lips as he gave her hip a reassuring squeeze. “Qué pasó?” he finally said, the words sounding so loud in the room even though he’d whispered them.

Lina sniffled, followed by a deep breath that still shook as she took it in. She didn’t turn to face him, fingers curling tighter into the bedsheet, the only barrier keeping her nails from breaking the skin of her palm. Her voice was hoarse as she spoke, devoid of the warm, smooth tone she always had. “Nada.”

Carrillo brought his hand up to her shoulder instead. He didn’t try to pull her, turn her to get her to face him. He just rested his hand there, skin to skin. He kept his voice quiet as he said, “Lina, querida, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry,” her voice cracked as she said it.

He ran his hand up and down her arm. “For what?”

“What if I,” she sniffled, wiping at the tears on her face, “what if I can’t do this?”

Bringing his arm underneath the covers, he slipped it around her waist, finally pulling himself closer to her. “Do what?”

“What if, after everything,” she tried to take a deep breath but couldn’t quite manage it, “what if I can’t…” her voice trailed off, but Carrillo felt the way that her hand grazed over his, the way that her hand rested lightly on her stomach.

He felt the ache starting to spread through his chest as he realized what she was saying. He pressed a soft kiss to her shoulder before hooking his chin over it. “You can,” he told her gently.

“Is it even fair?”

“Fair?” he repeated back, confused.

“With everything that’s been going on, you know, I don’t…I don’t think it’d be fair. To them.” She paused for a beat. “To us.”

Carrillo took a deep breath as he felt the weight of what she was saying. Wrapping his arms tighter around her, he tried to reassure her. “It won’t be like this forever.”

She leaned into it for a few moments, the feeling of his strong arms wrapping her up and keeping her pulled close against his chest. She closed her eyes, tried to focus just on the sensation of it, the warmth radiating off of him and seeping into her through the thin silk of her nightgown. She could feel each breath that he took and she tried to match it.

“Feels a little endless some days though, doesn’t it?”

He kissed her shoulder again, not wanting to give her the honest answer to that question. It wasn’t anything that she didn’t already know. She watched him, day in and day out, trying to put a stop to everything that was unraveling around them. If there was anyone who understood the way it all felt futile, never-ending, it was him. He had learned how to navigate that, how to push through it. What he wasn’t used to, was hearing her sound that way. He thought he’d seen every color on her, but hopeless was a new one.

He wasn’t good at lying to her. Never had been, something about her brutal honesty, the unwavering softness that always lingered beneath it. It didn’t feel right to try and tell her anything besides the truth. “Some days,” he said, nodding just slightly. “Others?”

“Others…” she trailed off, not sure how she wanted to finish the sentence. After a few moments, she shifted, turning around so that his arms were still around her but now she was facing him, her nose brushing against his as she got comfortable again. “Others I think about,” she reached and rested her palm against his cheek, “what it will be like when it’s finally done.”

“And?” he asked, acutely aware of the way her fingertips felt against his face. “What will it be like, hm?” He ran his hand up and down her back. “Qué piensas?”

A smile was trying to pull at the edges of her mouth, but it wasn’t quite successful. “Horacio.”

“Dime. Quiero saber.” He kissed her on the lips, light and fleeting. “What do you think it will be like?”

“It’ll be quiet,” she said after a few moments. “Good quiet. Easy.” She traced her thumb against his cheekbone. “You’ll be home.” The pad of her finger trailed below his eye, just below the dark circles that seemed permanent there now. “You’ll sleep.”

Carrillo chuckled quietly at that. “I don’t know about that.”

There was a hint of a lift to the edges of her mouth. “Maybe not, hm?”

“What else?” he asked, relief already settling over him as he watched her mood slowly start to shift.

“What else?” she parroted back.

He nodded, forehead grazing hers as he did. “When it’s over, what else? What,” he pulled her a little closer, fingers spreading across her back, “do you want when it’s over?”

She finally smiled, small and soft, but it was honest. She knew exactly where he was going with it. “I know, Horacio,” she said, sliding her hand down so that it was resting against his chest, heartbeat thrumming against her palm.

“Still?” he asked, just to be sure.

She nodded. “Still.”

He kissed her again. “It won’t always be like this. I promise you, one day it will all be over, the mess, the violence. And until then,” another kiss, “I’ll be here, protecting you, and her.”

She let out a quiet laugh at that. Not the sentiment, but the prediction of it all. “Her?”

“Sí.”

She shook her head. “We haven’t even gotten started, Horacio, and you’re already sure she’s going to be a girl?”

He laughed too, low and quiet but still warm. “Si dios quiera.”

She looped her arms around him, bringing her hands to the back of his neck. He felt her run her fingers through his hair, nails raking lightly through the short locks at the nape of his neck. “I love you,” she said, pulling him in for a kiss. When she pulled her lips off his she could see the way he was about to say something, and she beat him to the punch, “And I’m sorry.”

He shook his head at her as he took a deep breath in. “Don’t be sorry. Lo entiendo.”

Her entire body relaxed at that, relief flooding over her. It felt a little insane at times, trying to hold onto the idea of what life could be like later when it was what it was in that moment. Most days she handled it just fine, but other days, when the news played from the television just a little too loud, when the gunshots echoed just a little too close, it got heavy. There was no shame in feeling the weight of it, the conflict of wanting to hope and plan and pray but unsure of how much to do any of it. It felt good to hear someone else understand it, better still that it was the man whose legs were tangled up with hers.

Her face was close enough to his that when she spoke, their lips brushed. “Thank you.”

He kissed her, letting his lips linger for a moment before saying, “I love you.”

She smiled against his lips, knowing he’d been waiting patiently to say it. She kissed him again, not pulling away this time. Carrillo’s lips moved in tandem with hers, one hand staying on the small of her back, keeping her pulled close even though she had no intention of pulling away. The other slid down over her hip and onto her thigh. He grabbed her gently, just enough to pull her leg and hook it over him. Anything just to have her a little closer.

She felt the way that his fingers grazed over her legs, the hem of her nightgown sliding up in the process. Her hand cradled the back of his head as she slowly started to kiss him with a little more intensity. Each time he brought his lips back to hers, she felt a little more hopeful, a little more certain. He had always been a never-ending supply of fire, and she loved him for it in moments like that. Down the road the winds would shift, the way they always did, and she’d remind him how to use that same fire to stay warm, to keep safe, that it was good for more than just burning the world down to start over again. But for now, in that moment as his tongue skimmed the inside of her lip, Lina felt like a fresh start wouldn’t be the worst thing.

Keeping her close, Carrillo quickly rolled them so that she was lying on her back underneath him. She let out a short gasp at the sudden shift, and he could feel her breath against his neck. He caressed the side of her face with one hand, the other pressing into the pillow beside her head to keep him propped up, allow him to be able to look at her the best he could in the darkness of their bedroom. Even if it was too dark to see the details, it was a sight he’d committed to memory by now—the way the long dark waves of her hair cascaded over the pillowcase beneath her, the way that she always had that soft look in her eyes even when the thoughts in her head were anything but.

She loosely hooked her legs around his waist, using them to give herself just enough leverage to push him into a kiss. His hand grazed up her thigh as he kissed her, feeling the way that their switch in position had caused her nightgown to slide up, the lift of her legs making it fall above her hips. He trailed his hand up, fingers carefully tracing over the waistband of her panties.

His lips drifted down to her neck, leaving a trail of kisses along the column of her throat. He hooked his fingers over the waistband of her underwear, tugging them down until she had to unhook her legs from around him in order for him to pull them off the rest of the way.

He moved slowly, his hand coming back up her leg. Despite the rough feeling of his palm, his touch was extremely soft, careful. His fingers crept until the hit the juncture of where her thigh met her hip, and he could feel the tension building in her body, the slight shifting to try and get something more. He kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder as he lightly grazed his fingertips along her slit, feeling how wet she already was.

When he slid his fingers into her, it was hard for him to think about anything else except the way that she sighed out his name. He felt the way that her body relaxed at the same time that she tried to pull him closer. He kept his rhythm as he pressed kisses against her exposed collarbone, against her chest even though it was still covered by her nightgown. She leaned into his touch every time, always willing to take more if he was willing to give it.

He felt her hands as they rested on his waist for a moment. She waited for him to bring his lips back up to hers before starting to push the waistband of his underwear down past his hips. He didn’t try to stop her, kicking them off the rest of the way once she’d slid them down enough.

He moaned into her mouth as he pushed into her, and she swallowed the sound readily as she kissed him. He raked his fingers along the side of her head until her tangled them into her hair, pulling her into a heated kiss. Intense, but not rough—a fine line he’d learned to walk in the time that he’d been with her.

Lina looped her arms underneath his, fingers splaying across his the expanse of his back. Despite the fact that they were as close as two people could possibly hope to be, she still tried to pull him closer. Carrillo let it wash over him, the fact that no matter what happened, what each day held, they would always try to hold each other closer.

He heard the shift in her breathing as she got closer and closer to the edge, the way each inhale would make it halfway down her throat in a gasp. As his hips moved to keep connecting with hers, he knew that he wasn’t far behind. She cupped the side of his face, the tips of her fingers just grazing the side of his neck as she kissed him, pulling air from him like it was the only way she could breathe as she unraveled beneath him. He matched her energy, forehead pressed firmly against hers as he thrust into her a new more times until he spilled inside of her, hips pinned to hips.

Carrillo kept himself carefully braced over her, enough to stay close, but not leaning so heavily into her that it would hurt. His eyes drifted shut as he focused on the sensation of her gently brushing her fingertips along his cheeks, grazing along his jawline. He felt the rise and fall of her chest as she did so, drastic in contrast to the soft way she was touching him.

“Lina?” he said, voice hardly a whisper as he pressed a featherlight kiss to her lips.

“Mm?”

He rested his forehead against hers. “Te amo.”

She smiled, bringing her hands to his shoulders. “Te amo.”

They carefully shifted back into their former position, each of them lying on their sides facing each other. Carrillo’s hand was still slipped up underneath her nightgown, resting comfortably on her hip while she had one hand against his chest, one hand against the side of his neck.

Lina could feel her eyes starting to grow heavy, a different, much better kind of exhaustion starting to settle over her. Carrillo kissed her forehead, and then her cheek before saying, “It won’t be quiet, you know.”

Her eyes were still closed as she said, “Qué?”

“Even when it’s over, it won’t be quiet. Good, yes, but not quiet.” He pressed a brief kiss to her lips. “Not when it’s all of us here.”

He could feel the way her lips curled into a smile as she rested her face in the space below his shoulder. Something about his certainty when it was coupled with hopefulness made everything else seem to fade away. “I’d give up quiet for that.”

[nightofnyx8]

Thank you so much to @lantur, @roseofbattles, @megthemighty, @fullmetalscullyy, and @lastwagontrainhopper for the tag! Love you all! <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 16 😊 12 are from Fullmetal Alchemist, and 4 are from the Batman/Teen Titans category.

What's your total AO3 word count?

86845

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Someone to Watch Over Me—This one is very dear to me, because it was my first time creating an OC and I just fell in love with Dr. Kallen. I love outside perspectives so much because I get to explore Royai through different eyes and I find it very insightful. It was also fun to research a bunch of medical procedures and the 1900s hospital environment in general!

In My Tender Embrace—This one has my heart, as it took so much empathy and love to write, and it also really helped me explore Riza’s character in relation to motherhood what that meant after Ishval. It was so very very hard to write about her miscarriages and the toll it took on her and Roy, but it was also beautiful to me to help them both heal and strengthen each other with my favorite hurt/comfort.

The Moments to Remember—This is the first Royai fic I wrote (and also my least favorite haha). I mostly wrote it because my family was stressing me out about planning my own wedding, and some of that frustration leaked into the fic haha. I’d probably change a couple things if I went back to it, but it has some nice domestic Royai towards the end.

Hold Me Close—Ahhh this one is such a guilty pleasure! I loved writing these one-bed prompts so much, and it’s also some good practice for me to write some more intimate scenes. I haven’t written full on smut yet, but that might change in the last chapter oooooppppps.

The First Thing He Checked—This was one of my favorite pieces to write! I got to explore Berthold’s character a bit, and of course Roy just gets to save the day at the very end. I’m such a sucker for “Are you hurt?” tropes and this one was such a lovely character comparison piece to write.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? Yes! It means the world to me that someone took the time to read through something I’ve written, and even more so that they would leave their thoughts on it, and it’s a way I can express my gratitude for that! Plus, I sometimes learn something from other people’s perceptions of the piece and can sometimes inspire new scenes or ideas.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Most definitely The Distance Between Us. Not only because both Roy and Riza are, well, dead—but also because that whole fic was just a heartbreak and a half to write.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Probably “I’m Only Me When I’m With You,” because not only were Roy and Riza free of the usual war criminal trauma, but it was also like the most satisfying ending to write ever with that slow burn college dorks in love (ahh look, it’s an AU, go figure).

Do you write crossovers? If so, what's the craziest one you've ever written? I don’t think I will since I like overanalyzing too much. Like my current WIP is all about unfolding the events towards the Promised Day, and Arakawa’s making me read between the lines to figure out what in the actual heck was Roy’s master plan. Adding another fandom into that would probably just make my brain explode.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? I believe I received one comment on my old fanfiction account once back in the day.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I’ve never written full-on smut, I tend to either write it non-explicatively or imply it somehow. I’m trying to decide which way to go on the last chapter of Hold Me Close, and depending on what I decide the rating will have to change. Favorite guilty smut to read: drunken confessions, dom/sub (hi @lantur), basically anytime Roy and Riza go undercover and things…happen, and secret relationships.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I have not, thankfully 😊

Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but @klainelynch did a podfic of “Endgame” that I still haven’t quite recovered from.

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, but I’d love to! It sounds fun!

What’s your all-time favourite ship? Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye—Such a wonderful dynamic and I don’t see myself stopping anytime soon.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I might finish I’d Still Choose You someday, but it’s a fandom that I don’t write for anymore unless someone requests it, and I just don’t have the same fervor for it as I used to.

What are your writing strengths? Hmm, I think that I do well conveying emotions in a real and grounded way. Some of my fics deal with some hard topics, and I always want the emotions felt by the reader to be well earned and rich instead of empty or fake. I like my writing style as well, and I feel like I learn something new with each fic I write.

What are your writing weaknesses? Random spelling and tense errors that slip past the editing stage, and it’s something I’m continually working on. I also feel like my prose and flow of the piece can feel a bit mechanical at times.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I've included words in different languages in some of my fics, but I don’t think I’d be comfortable writing full dialogue unless it was Spanish, the only other language I’m fluent in.

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Percy Jackson, back when I was 13!

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? I’d have to say Heartbeat, because those two pieces required a lot of empathy and research and love. And though it broke my heart to write that story for Roy and Riza, I put a lot of heart into it and it helped me to grow as a writer. That’s also the fic where the comments have humbled me the most, because it gets into some real-world issues that can bring up some hard emotions that I wanted to treat with the utmost respect.

Tagging @bringingglory @musing-and-music @nightglider124 @lightdusk96 and anyone else who wants to haha :)

[general-kenobi357]

Someday Soon-Chapter 5

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Fem!OC

Summary: John B creates a plan to get the Pogues back together to find the gold. At Midsummers Iz takes a leap of faith that she might regret.

Note: Can anyone tell me why I struggle to much to write a two sentence summary that makes sense, meanwhile I can plan out and write a book in a week. The math is not lining up. Also on an unrelated note, I wrote in that Iz is wearing JJ's Mom's dress they found, since I figured that we haven't seen JJ's Mom so she could be the same size as whoever you imagine Iz to be :)

Word Count: 4k

🔅🔆🔅

All morning I had been pacing around my room, I hadn’t slept all night. John B was MIA, JJ had been arrested and I had no idea how to help either of them.

Suddenly a sharp knock on my window dragged me out of my thoughts, as I practically jumped out of my own skin. Realizing it was JJ and John B, I made my way over to the window.

“Jesus, you two. You scared me half to death.” I told the pair as I opened my window.

“Sorry, Sweetheart.” JJ apologized with a smile on his face, as I got closer to him I noticed the fresh bruises on his face that he hadn’t had yesterday. I didn’t have to ask where they were from as my stomach turned just thinking about Luke Maybank. “We’re getting outta here, you coming?”

“Uh yeah.” I replied, grabbing my bag before climbing out my window. No one else was home but I knew that the cops who were staking out John B’s house were probably also watching the front of mine.

“John, Iz, hurry up. Come on, come on, come on.” JJ rushed us as we all wadded through the water to reach the HMS Pogue.

Once we had all climbed in, John B turned the key, starting the engine and we were off. I sat catching my breath as we watched the Château fade into the distance.

🔅🔆🔅

“First, I almost get strangled to death by Kooks, and now I'm on the hook for 30 grand.” JJ explained bringing John B up to speed on everything he had missed. “We should just dip.”

“Okay, where do you wanna go?” I asked half on board, other than my Mom and Emmy I wouldn’t be leaving behind much.

“Yucatan.” He answered confidently.

“Yucatan? Seriously?” I asked, slightly less on board now that I realized how serious he was.

“No, I'm dead serious right now. Surf all day, and then we can just live off lobsters we catch with our bare hands.” JJ reasoned.

“You just wanna leave 'cause you got your ass beat?” John B spoke up.

“You didn't see the photos.” JJ shuddered.

“Think about it. They're willing to kill for the gold, then it's gotta be out there.” John B said, still holding out hope.

“Have you lost your mind?” I asked, I couldn’t believe he still thought we could find it.

“One hundred years, man. One hundred years, people have been tryin' to find this Royal Merchant, and no one succeeded. And you think you are gonna be the one that actually finds it? When will you get it in your thick skull? If you keep goin' down this road, you're gonna end up just like your dad!” JJ demanded, his voice getting louder as he moved closer to John B.

“I can't give up, you guys!” John B explained, his face full of guilt at the mention of his father.

“What happened to your dad wasn’t your fault.” I spoke softly, resting a hand on John B’s shoulder. We all knew about the argument John B had had with his father before he disappeared, hell I had heard it from my house.

“It doesn't matter whose fault it is! Do you not understand that? I can't give up on the hunt, you guys. I don't care who's out there, who's gonna try to kill us. Do you understand that?” John B told him. “Look, I've got a plan. You comin' or what?” he asked looking between us. “Four hundred million, JJ. How much do you owe in restitution?”

JJ looked back at me before following John B back to the Pogue where he began explaining his plan.

🔅🔆🔅

‘This is an awful plan’ was all I could think as I rang the doorbell at Kie’s house. John B had explained to me that I would go to Midsummers with Kie and make sure JJ got in fine, so that he could deliver a note to Sarah Cameron. I had asked why I couldn’t just deliver it if I was already there to which John B explained I would have to distract Kie so that she wouldn’t find out Sarah was involved. I was about to ring the doorbell again when Kie’s mother opened the door.

“Oh, Isabella.” She said, the smile dropping slightly from her face. “How are you?”

“I’m good thank you. Um Kie invited me to join her at Midsummers tonight, so I’m here to get ready.” I explained holding up the old dress we had found in JJ’s attic, I assumed it had been his mother’s.

“Oh really?” She asked, pasting a clearly fake smile on her face. “She didn’t warn me.”

“Well, she asked me weeks ago, maybe she forgot to tell you?”

“Of course, come in. Kiara’s in her room.” She said opening the door wider.

I walked through the huge house and towards Kie’s room, I wasn’t over here much but it always reminded me of the house my parents used to have which was just down the street from here.

“That’s not a party face.” I teased as I walked into Kie’s bedroom where she was sitting at the end of her bed. She looked up with a scowl before realizing it was me.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, pulling me into a hug. “Here to break me out?”

“Unfortunately I’m here to break in.” I responded.

“Kiara, you didn’t tell me that you had invited Isabella to join us.” Kie’s mom said as she walked into the room. “Here, we ordered a couple extra hair pieces, I’m assuming you just brought the dress.”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t know those were a requirement.” I answered with an awkward laugh.

“Well, we're leaving in 30 minutes.” She said leaving the room again.

“Hair pieces?” I asked, I couldn’t help but smile as I turned to Kie who was laughing at my question.

🔅🔆🔅

As much as I didn’t want to be there, I was amazed at everything I saw as we entered the club. I couldn’t believe that the Kook’s were spending their nights dancing without a single worry meanwhile my house still had no power or hot water going to it.

“Oh there’s Pope.” I pointed out to Kie as we made our way outside.

“Excuse me, sir. Do we have to shuck these ourselves?” Kie asked in a terrible English accent. “'Cause it might mess up my costume.”

“We wouldn't want that now, would we?” Pope responded, playing along once he realized it was us. “That accent was bad.”

“It was.” She agreed as we all laughed.

“You ever seen this many Kooks in one place?” I asked, looking around the crowded club.

“Yeah. Last year.” Pope informed us. “We're in the lion's den.” He stated, he was still pretty shook up from his last visit to Figure Eight. “Hey, have you two heard from JJ?”

“Uh yeah, he should be joining us shortly.” I told them cryptically. “I’m gonna do a lap.” I said before I left to give the two some space.

I made my way over to the bar hoping that they would be willing to serve a minor.

🔅🔆🔅

The bartender that the Kook’s had hired didn’t seem to care who she served and had poured me a rum and cola without a second thought. I had already downed one and was now taking a second drink with me as I walked closer to the dance floor to watch all the Kook’s. As I finished my drink I noticed someone walk up beside me.

“You know somethin’ tells me you aren’t 21.” I heard JJ accuse as I set down my now empty glass.

“What?” I laughed while he took my hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor. “They would never serve a minor, that might tarnish the clubs perfect reputation.”

“You look beautiful, Sweetheart.” JJ complimented as he spun me around before pulling me back to him.

“Yeah you clean up alright.” I teased him. “What is this a clip on bow tie?”

“Yeah John B made me wear it.” He explained looking down at his feet.

“I’m just teasing you, it’s nice.” I smiled. “I wasn’t sure how long I’d survive without you here.”

“Eh, you woulda been fine. I’m sure the Kook instincts that you’ve suppressed, would kick in eventually.” He told me, I couldn’t stop laughing at everything he said but I figured that was because of the two drinks I had just downed.

“I’m so happy to see you, I could kiss you.” I confessed boldly, after we danced in silence for a minute.

“Why don’t you?” He asked, a smile playing on his lips.

So I did, before I could think about the repercussions or about what would change. I closed the gap between us as our lips met. For that one perfect moment everything seemed alright as I melted into the kiss.

But as I pulled back it all shattered, JJ’s face had a look of shock written over it as his arms dropped from around me.

“I have to go, find Sarah.” He explained turning to go search the rest of the dance floor, while I stood watching him go. Immediately I regretted what I had done, I wondered if I had just lost my best friend as I watched him disappear into the crowd.

After snapping myself out of the trance I was in, I pushed my way through the crowd looking for Kie, hot tears threatening to spill over onto my cheek. I had just kissed JJ, something I had wanted to do for years and yet it felt like the biggest mistake I’d ever made. I found Kie after a minute talking to some Kook I didn’t recognize.

“You’re gonna have to excuse us.” I apologized as I pulled Kie away and towards the edge of the party.

“What’s up.” She asked once we had stopped, the smile dropping from her face once she finally looked at me.

“I kissed JJ.” I answered, my voice quiet.

“What.” Kie blurted out, shocked.

“He showed up and we were dancing and he was complimenting me and I had just been drinking and so then I told him that I was so happy I could kiss him and he said <why don’t you> so then I did and then he ran away.” I rambled.

“Oh honey.” Kie muttered, pulling me into a hug as the tears finally left my eyes, trailing down my cheeks and onto her shoulder. “JJ is dumb, okay and I’m sure he has no idea what he did. You said John B had a plan so he probably just had to do that, right?”

“Yeah.” I answered unsure. “But what if this messes up everything?”

“It won’t. I promise.” Kie reassured me as she wiped away my tears. “Come on let’s go get something to eat.”

Kie led me back through the crowd, her hand never leaving mine as we went back to the table her parents were sitting at.

🔅🔆🔅

Sitting next to Kie, I was eating some kind of fancy food that I had forgotten how to pronounce when we heard shouting from behind us. Turning to see who it was, we saw JJ being escorted out.

“Look... look, man, I can walk myself.” JJ tried to explain. “I got legs. Can you see that, brother? Come on. I really appreciate what you did back there. Let me just walk out by myself.”

“What the Hell?” I heard Kie’s Dad mutter from behind us as JJ was pushed past our table.

“It's okay, everybody! Do not panic.” JJ addressed the crowd. “Leave it to the men and women in uniform. Let's hear it for them. Rose! You look like Lady Liberty.”

“Let go of him! You can't boot him! I invited him here. I'm a member of this club.” Kie told the guard as we both stood up. But the guard continued to lead JJ through the crowd away from where we stood.

“Hey, mandatory power hour at Rixon's, Kie, Iz.” JJ pointed to us. “Pope, you as well, all right?”

Kie looked at me with a smile before grabbing my hand.

“No. Kiara! Hey, Kiara!” Kie’s parents yelled as we ran off to join the boys.

With all of us ditching the party, the Pogues were reunited.

🔅🔆🔅

“Hey, guys. So, like, my dad's already gonna kill me.” Pope told us as we gathered around the fire John B had made. “So what's this mandatory meeting about?”

“Might as well tell him, man, before we're gaffed.” JJ said to John B.

“You ready for this?” John B asked looking at us all. “So, the gold never went down with the Royal Merchant.”

“Oh, my God. Here we go again with this.” Kie rolled her eyes from her spot beside me.

“No. All right, wait. Hear him out, okay?” I said, hoping John B would get on with his explanation.

“It's been here the whole time.” John B told us. “It's on the island.”

“I'd like to voice my skepticism.” Pope spoke up.

“I'm sure you would, Pope, but can I please present you with my evidence, sir?”

“Proceed.”

🔅🔆🔅

“Okay, so, guys.” Pope began after John B explained everything he had learned. “What's the plan?”

“Good question.” John B answered. “Sarah Cameron's coming tonight. She'll bring an original survey map…”

“Hold on.” Kie stopped him, I could feel her tense up beside me. “Sarah? Wh-why Sarah?”

“Um…” John B started, stumbling over his words.

“This is gonna be good.” I muttered.

“Sarah, um, she... she got me into the archives in Chapel Hill yesterday, and that's where I got the letter.”

“You were in Chapel Hill with Sarah Cameron?” Kie asked, shocked.

“He was mackin' on her.” JJ told us.

“I wasn't macking. I wasn't macking on her, okay? I was using her for access. I was trying to get into the archives.” John B attempted to explain.

“There was access all right.” JJ muttered.

“Is that a yes?” Kie demanded. “You let a Kook in on our secret? What about Pogue Lyfe?”

“I was just using her for information.”

“Why don't I believe you?”

“I'm trying to make us filthy rich here. Okay, so that we can pay off a boat, or... or, uh... send you to autopsy school to study dead bodies, or move to Hawaii. Look, you guys know me. Do I look like the type of person to fall for Sarah Cameron?”

“Uh... Do you want us to answer that, or…” I asked him.

“Look, you don't know her yet. I do!” Kie explained. “You can't trust her.”

“What did she do to you, exactly?” John B finally asked, we all were curious, she had only told me pieces of the story before.

“She's like a... like a spitting cobra. First, she... she blinds you, and then…” She stopped as Pope poked holes in her analogy. “Listen to me! Whatever we get, she's gonna try to take.”

🔅🔆🔅

The lights of the van turned on as we stopped at the Hawks nest, waking me up again, it felt like days since I had last slept well making it easy to doze off.

“All right.” John B said, turning off the van. “So, uh, I think I'm gonna do this one by myself... tonight.”

“Really?” Kie asked, shocked.

“What?” John B asked as if he had done nothing wrong. “I don't want to spook Sarah with the peanut gallery.”

“I just don't understand why we're involving her at all.”

“Kie, we're not involving her, okay?”

“Promise me nothing's happening between you.”

“Nothing is happening, Kie.”

“That was really believable.” I spoke up sarcastically from the back of the van as John B climbed out.

“A hundred percent believable.” Pope said, backing me up.

“Anyways, um... I'm gonna take care of business.” John B concluded before closing the door.

“We'll just sit here…” Pope started.

“...in the hot-ass car.” JJ added.

“Kiara, holding onto your grudge is like drinking poison and thinking Sarah will die.” Pope informed Kie after a few minutes.

“Exactly.” JJ added backing him up. “You alright back there?” He asked me.

“She’s great JJ. Really doing awesome thanks to you.” Kie responded for me, which brought a smile to my face as I drifted off to sleep again.

🔅🔆🔅

I woke up again when the rest of the Pogues started to scramble out of the van, which is when I heard Sarah Cameron screaming for help. I got up with my friends and we all went running to go see what had happened.

Everything was a blur when we finally found them.

John B was lying on the ground as Sarah cried over him. He was moving but barely as Pope rushed back to get the van and get him to a hospital. After we got John B to the hospital a nurse told us to go home and that he would be fine. After some convincing we all finally left. Pope drove us all to our houses, the ride was silent.

🔅🔆🔅

When I entered my house it was dark and everyone else had probably been asleep for hours, I went straight to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As I walked back into my room from the bathroom, I heard a knock on my window. But from inside my dark room I couldn’t see anything, I figured it was just the wind until another unmistakably human knock shook the window. Grabbing the flashlight which was my only light source I crept closer to the window, worried about who might be knocking.

Once I got to the window though, JJ’s golden hair lit up on the other side of the glass. I pushed open the window before taking a step back so he could climb through.

“What are you…” I started to ask before he interrupted me.

“I um, I wasn’t sure where to go. I’d rather not be at home right now.” He explained, looking anywhere but my face.

“Oh, yeah. You can stay here.” I knew he didn’t want my pity but I couldn’t help the sad expression my face held.

“Listen, Iz. I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have run off after we kissed. I just-I wasn’t sure what to do.” JJ began rambling, this time it was my turn to interrupt him.

“Can we not tonight? We can talk about it later.” I was too exhausted to have a serious conversation. “I just want to go to bed.”

“Oh okay.” He responded, I walked across the room to my bed before I watched him take one of the blankets off the bed and begin laying it out on the floor.

“JJ, what are you doing?” I asked, rubbing my eyes.

“You said you wanted to go to bed. I’m making myself a bed.” He explained confused.

“You’ve been beaten up how many times this week?” I asked. “I’m not making you sleep on the floor when there is more than enough room in my bed.”

Without another word he stood back up and made his way to the other side of the bed. Once he was under the blanket I turned off the lamp before turning so I was facing him. I could barely make out his features, the only light coming from the bright moon outside, but I knew he was there.

“Can you tell me a story?” He asked, I smiled, his question reminded of when I would help put Emmy to bed.

“About what?”

“Hawaii, tell me about what it’s going to be like.”

“What are you moving with me?” I joked.

“Well, if you’ll have me.”

“Of course I will.” I stated before pausing to think about what our life would be like if we could move to Hawaii. “We could buy a big piece of land, with a waterfall and a path that leads right to the beach, and we could build a little house right beside the waterfall.”

“You mean I could build us a house.” He interrupted, trying to be realistic even as I told him a story about our imaginary future.

“Hey I’m the one telling the story.” I complained. “And besides I’ve been getting good at holding tools, I could probably identify upwards of five different tools.”

“Okay, proceed.” He stated, impatiently waiting for me to continue.

“We could spend all day surfing and get a hammock, the best that money can buy.” I continued, adding random details.

“Do you think our friends will visit?” I heard him ask sleepily.

“Yeah, we’ll have a little guest house on the other side of the waterfall for them. John B can bring Sarah, I’m sure they’ll get married as soon as they possibly can.” I said, imagining all our friends grown up.

“Oh definitely, he’s already in love with her.” JJ added.

“And I’m sure that they’ll have a herd of children that follow them around everywhere they go like little ducklings. And Kie and Pope will be together.”

“That is if Pope ever works up the courage to ask her out.”

“That or Kie will just give up waiting and ask him out.” I joked before going back to my story. “I don’t know if they’ll have kids though, I think that they’ll just be the really cool uncle and aunt for awhile.”

“What about us? Are we gonna get married and have kids?” JJ asked after a minute.

“Well that depends if you ever propose.” I pointed out thinking about our future.

“Maybe I’m waiting for you to propose to me. Ever think about that?”

“No I hadn’t.” I paused for a minute before I kept talking. “JJ Maybank will you…”

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m only sixteen, at least take me out on a date first.” He interrupted my question.

“How do you know that I was proposing you didn’t let me finish.” I explained before asking the question again. “JJ Maybank will you, pass me some more of the blanket, you’re really hogging it and I’m getting cold.”

“Oh that was just cruel.” He pouted, as I laughed at my dumb question.

“What you didn’t even want to be proposed to yet.”

“Well I wasn’t going to say yes but I would have liked you to ask.”

“Oh my gosh.” I shook my head at him before I continued to talk about our family. “I think we’d have three kids and they would all look exactly like you. A girl, who is ridiculously smart and kind and helpful. And twins, boys, who are absolute terrors.” I paused looking at JJ whose eyes were beginning to close. “But every night, just as they fall asleep. They look so peaceful and you remember why you love them so much.”

Once I had finished talking I turned so that my back was facing JJ before I finally started to drift off to sleep. As I closed my eyes I felt a warm arm snake around my waist and pull me closer while JJ nuzzled his face into the back of my neck.

“Jade, Jesse and Jacob.” He mumbled, his breath fanning across my neck. It took me a minute to realize he was naming the kids that I had just described.

“Of course you would want all of their names to start with J.” I smiled, on the brink of falling asleep.

“It’s the best letter of the alphabet, Sweetheart.” He responded just before I fell fast asleep.

🔅🔆🔅

[yslkook]

#customer centric (4)

#corporate masterlist summary: you arrive in tokyo and spend a few days catching up and reminiscing. jin comes as well, with a few old friends that you haven’t seen in years. Or, you wander around the city visiting familiar places and go to a club with people you haven’t called friends in years. word count: 8656 warnings: cursing, parental death, discussion of mental health, lots of alcohol a/n: this is part 1/2 of being in tokyo!! this is the top i envisioned for oc lol

You missed Tokyo, and Tokyo missed you. The city itself brings bittersweet memories to you, memories of your childhood with your dead father and grandmother passing through your mind as if you’re watching a movie.

Your dad had brought you to Tokyo every summer when you were young, until you were about seventeen or eighteen. Tokyo had become more of a second home than a vacation place for you.  You haven’t been here since college, about two years before your dad passed away. But despite that, it feels like home.

You can read, write, and speak Japanese fluently, which is part of the reason why you’ve been such an integral part of the team so far. The company’s sister branch is in Tokyo, and it’s not your first time visiting the branch, or interacting with your team members based in Tokyo.

You’ve wondered often, quite bitterly, if your fluency in Japanese is the only reason you’re even still on the team. Your boss and his boss at least trust you enough to be the responsible party for your team- there’s only one other member of your team here, Sana. But she’s relatively new, so the responsibility has fallen onto you.

That’s alright. You operate well under pressure.

You’re joined by your small knit team, Sana, Namjoon and Jungkook. Namjoon had managed to finagle with the budget enough that you could arrive a day early, on Friday, and spend the weekend in Tokyo before the workshops began on Monday.

And Seokjin would be flying in on Saturday morning with some of his friends. You’re grateful that at least Jin was coming. Whenever Jin makes these spontaneous types of trips, they’re bound to be eventful. 

Monday and Tuesday will be filled with workshops, proposals and pitch meetings. You made Jin promise that he’d spend time with you during the weekend, so that you could show him some of the treasures you remembered from the city. Despite your many years of friendship, you had never been to Tokyo with Jin and you want to show him some of the places Appa used to take you to.

You’re excited. Even if Jungkook, with his big, sparkling eyes and his natural curiosity is coming along. Seeing him, even though it’s been well over three months that he joined the company, sends you down a dangerous path that isn’t fair to him or to you.

You have to constantly remind yourself that it’s not his fault and you shouldn’t be mean to him. It’s not his fault that your boss and his boss are out for your blood and refuse to give you recognition. But you can’t help but feel like he’s part of the problem that has faced you for the last three years. Part of the same awful old school, conservative mindset that so many of your peers were part of as well.

The leadership at your company needed a drastic overhaul, but you would be the last person to voice those thoughts out loud. Unless it was to Jin. 

You know Jungkook doesn’t deserve your unspoken rage. You can admit that, but you’re not saint enough to channel it somewhere else. You’ve mellowed out considerably from the initial few months, but you could stand to be a little warmer to him.

After all, the way his bunny smile takes up half of his face when he offers it up to someone so worthy… that means nothing to you.

You arrive in Tokyo with your team at around eleven AM, and you check into your hotel rooms about an hour later. Jungkook and Sana had planned the logistics of the trip, from the hotel to the taxi service to lunch, dinner, and the company sponsored happy hour on Monday and Tuesday. 

Because you were in Tokyo for work, you fully planned on using your company card to the fullest for the next few days. This company could kiss your ass, and you would be more than willing to spend as much as you needed to as a subtle ‘fuck you’. It was your version of flipping off your boss, for when he would have to approve your expense report sheet. 

Namjoon had given you Friday to yourselves, to get acquainted with the hotel room and the area itself. Sana and Jungkook had done a good job with choosing the hotel- it has a wonderful view of the city from the rooftop, and being inside the sophisticated hotel with it’s hues of black and white and pops of color and elegance. This regal building screams opulence and you’re bathing in the luxurious feel of it all.

The diamonds of the chandeliers hanging high above you glint in the dim light of the lobby, bouncing off of the sleek, black piano and adding to the romantic air. Was this a love hotel? You scoff to yourself, keeping your head down as you exit the hotel and head in the direction of your favorite park, the Happo-en Garden. 

When you had told your therapist that you’d be coming to Tokyo for the first time since your father’s death, she had immediately picked up on your hesitation-

“It feels weird to be there without him. Almost like the place doesn’t exist if he doesn’t,” You scoff, wringing your hands together.

“It certainly exists without him. And you do, too,” She says kindly, “Maybe you’ll feel close to him when you go there.”

And she was right, as she usually is. You sit alone at a freshly painted red bench with a box of street snacks, including some of Appa’s favorites. The sunshine glimmers against the still lake in front of you, hues of green fading to orange and red reflecting in the murky water. 

This park was a favorite of Appa’s-

“We’re still in Tokyo, but it feels like we’re so far away. Right, sweetheart?” He asks, dark eyes shining. Appa’s hand tightens around yours and you nod excitedly.

“Yeah! Like we’re close to the princess’s castle!” You gasp.

“That’s right, but the only princess I see here is you,” Appa smiles and you beam at him, all smiles and sunshine.

The memory is from when you were maybe seven or eight years old. Everytime you came to Tokyo with Appa, you always came to this park. Specifically to this area, where Appa claimed that the sun shined on the leaves and the water in a specific way that made everything feel like magic.

You had always scoffed at him, especially as you grew older and the lines around his eyes grew deeper. But you still entertained him. You never saw that magic that Appa claimed to see, but now, you wonder how you could ever not see it.

A breeze ruffles through the trees, whistling as it threads through your hair and running over the water. The clouds part for a moment, allows a burst of sunbeams to spread over the water and you gasp at the sudden golden filter over the surroundings in front of you.

Another breeze, one from your left side, presses against your shoulder and your cheek. Almost like it’s whispering to you. You whip your head to the side, only to find nothing next to you. You feel like you’re floating, with the gentle caress of the wind to keep you company.

You eat your snacks in silence, embracing the way that it feels like the wind is Appa’s caress against your skin.

By the time you return to the hotel, the sun is beginning to go down and a bittersweet sort of happiness settles in your heart. You feel closer to your dad than you have in a long time- this city was bound to feel like home with its welcoming arms curling around you warmly. You had spent the better part of the day visiting old sights and places that you had frequented to with Appa. 

It was peaceful, like a walk down memory lane. You could almost see your younger self bursting at the seams with joy at all of the new places. You could almost see her so eager to learn and demanding that Appa teach you Japanese immediately.

You wonder where that girl went. She’s lost, buried beneath layers and layers and maybe someday you’ll find her again.

Stopping by one of your favorite restaurants, you order all of your favorites times three. For your colleagues to have something to feast on when you returned from your day trip. You hadn’t been on your phone for most of the day, choosing to mute the group chat with your colleagues so you could truly be alone. 

Once you approach the familiar blue neon sign of the restaurant, you send them a text:

you: evening all. dont worry about dinner, Im bringing lots of food back sana: look who woke up from her coma namjoon: did you put it on your card? you: of course i did. you dont have to remind me joon ;)  you: want to have dinner together? jungkook: ya where should we eat Namjoon: come to my room, it’s room 1804 you: ok, be there in about thirty min

With your heart feeling full, brimming with fondness for your teammates, you pay for the heavy bags of food and make your way back to the hotel. You can’t help but smile as you walk with a little pep in your step.

“You should have asked one of us to help you,” Jungkook says reproachfully, taking half the bags from you.

Your arms ache, not that you’ll admit your stubbornness. You only smile sheepishly, “It was only a fifteen minute walk.”

“And this is a lot of food,” Jungkook muses, peeking inside as his doe eyes sparkle in anticipation.

“It’s our first team dinner in Tokyo. We deserve it,” You shrug.

“I also bought a few bottles of wine,” Sana chirps, dangling two bottles of red in her hands, “We deserve it.”

You laugh and she winks at you. Namjoon is already setting up the many boxes of food on the mahogany wooden desk in the corner of the room. The curtains are pulled back, affording you of a breathtaking view of the city lights and the now hanging moon high in the sky.

“The boss has the best view, huh?” You tease, nudging his shoulder.

“Jungkook picked it,” Namjoon shrugs, “I just wanted to share the view with you all.”

“How sweet of you,” You say sincerely, “Dinner with a view. That’s pretty romantic. And Jungkook has good taste.”

Jungkook’s ears flush at your praise and he covers his ears for a second. Not that you notice. You sit on the floor, across from Jungkook and offer to scoop food onto everyone’s plates for them. You ignore their protests and do it anyway, quietly asking how much of each they want. Sana fills up plastic cups with wine and labels everyone’s cup with a black marker so you can all keep track of them.

“How classy of us,” Namjoon snorts but says thank you to Sana.

“Did you bring wine glasses in your luggage?” Sana shoots at Namjoon, “I didn’t think so.”

You stifle your laugh behind your hand and shake your head. “Feels like college, if only those cups were red,” You joke.

“My roommate still uses red cups sometimes, for casual purposes,” Jungkook says softly, “It drives me up the wall. Like, can you drink out of a normal cup or what? I get flashbacks to beer pong almost every morning.”

You laugh a little harder at that, and the sound is sweet in Jungkook’s ears. He wants to see if he can get you to laugh like that a little more.

“I mean, we’re grown now. I can’t believe Taehyung sometimes, having his morning orange juice in a red solo cup. It’s heinous.”

Your eyes are overflowing with mirth, the sound of your genuine happiness echoing in Jungkook’s ears and he can’t help but smile in return.

“Morning orange juice,” You mutter, “That’s adorable. Taehyung? That’s the name of your roommate?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook replies, “We did undergrad together and he’s an aspiring art gallery curator. He’s actually coming here tomorrow-”

“Wait, hang on,” You say after chewing through a mouthful of noodles, “Is this Taehyung, as in Kim Taehyung who you snuck into that bar with and he ended up getting absolutely hammered and stealing three bottles of alcohol? Before getting kicked out and Jin and I took you both home? That Taehyung?”

The fondness with which you speak of Taehyung unnerves Jungkook. 

“Yeah,” Jungkook nods, “That Taehyung.”

“Sounds like a real class act,” Sana says dryly.

“Wow, I haven’t seen him in years,” You exhale, “I think Jin’s bringing some friends from college tomorrow, too.”

“Yeah, he mentioned a Jimin and a Hoseok,” Namjoon adds.

“Damn, Sana, maybe we should’ve brought our friends, too,” You murmur, teasing but honestly, you don’t really have anyone you would’ve asked to bring, “Can’t wait to see what this boys weekend brings.”

You fully anticipate that Seokjin will rope you into whatever shenanigans they have planned, and you don’t even feel bad about crashing. You make a mental note to let Sana know of whatever plans they invited you to, so that she wouldn’t feel left out.

They don’t ask where you were all day, and for that you’re grateful. The lines of professionalism are beginning to blur for you, and you don’t want to burden them with your feelings and problems. You don’t want them to think differently of you for trying to catch a glimpse of Appa in your memories. 

Jin would say you were being silly, but you can’t help it. Maybe someday, but not today.

But Jungkook does wonder. Where were you all day? When the group chat was going off, you were silent. It was none of his business, but he’s curious. And he’s curious about you. You hadn’t changed out of your day clothes or taken your makeup off. He can see the nearly gone darkened stain of your gloss on your lips and the curl of your lashes. Jungkook keeps his eyes above your neck, knowing that if his eyes begin to wander he would be even more of a goner than he already was.

It’s September in Tokyo, meaning that it was warm during the day and somewhat chilly in the evenings. Your dark green long sleeved shirt is tucked into your shorts, complete with a black belt, leaving your tanned thighs on display. Jungkook thinks he catches a glimpse of a tattoo peeking from your shorts, but he thinks he imagines it. 

Until your shorts ride up just a little and he sees an array of colors and the fleeting sight of a flower on your upper thigh. Jungkook swallows nervously and stuffs his face full of udon noodles without hesitation. If his mouth is stuffed with food, then nobody will look twice at him and he can keep his thoughts to himself and ogle at you in peace. 

The logic makes sense in his head.

Your voice carries over to Namjoon, telling him that you’ll be picking Seokjin, Jimin and Hoseok up in the morning with the rental car.

“Hey, if Taehyung is arriving at the same time, do you want me to pick him up?” You ask, turning your gaze to Jungkook.

“Huh?” Jungkook asks. You roll your eyes.

“Taehyung. If he arrives at the same time as Jin, Jimin and Hoseok, do you want me to pick him up?”

“Er,” Jungkook says eloquently, “He’s actually been here for the last week. Thanks, though.”

You want to say that Jin would cause a scene and whine at you if you didn’t pick him up from the airport, the prince that he is. But you keep it to yourself- after all, he’s somewhat of a boss to Jungkook and Sana. 

You nod in understanding and shove more noodles and meat into your mouth. You stretch your legs out in front of you and Jungkook doesn’t look away, instead allowing his eyes to rake over you shamelessly. Nevermind that Namjoon and Sana are right next to him, probably wondering why he’s staring you down so intensely.

The four of you spend the rest of the evening discussing your plans for the weekend, avoiding the topic of work altogether. It’s nice, you can almost believe that you’re all just four friends making a weekend getaway without the confines of work looming over your heads.

Namjoon offers to split the remaining food amongst the four of you and puts equal amounts of everything into each container for all of you to take back to your rooms.

And then Sana pours more wine for each of you and you feel yourself beginning to get more and more relaxed with each sip you take. You want to open your stitched together lips, tell them how it’s been so long since you’ve had alcohol with anyone who wasn’t Jin. You want to tell them that you like red wine more than white wine, but nothing beats soju-

“What’s your favorite kind of wine,” Jungkook asks. He comes to sit next to you on the floor, stretching his legs out. His shoulder brushes against yours and you feel something like electricity at the soft touch.

“Um… I like reds over white wine. But I haven’t had that many reds to say which kind is my favorite,” You muse.

“Guess we’ll have to try some more red wine, huh?” Jungkook says, his eyes sparkling and bunny smile on display. 

Your heart warms and sputters at the same time.

“Yeah,” You nod breathlessly, “What about you? What do you like?”

“I’m not picky. I don’t really like cabernet,” Jungkook scrunches his nose, “Too bitter for me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” You giggle, unable to believe that such a noise is coming out of your mouth. Despite Sana and Namjoon having their own conversation on the other side of the room, it feels like it’s just you and Jungkook for a minute in your own bubble.

“I like a good chardonnay, too. Nice ‘n crisp.”

“Me too, I love that crisp taste of a good white wine,” You reply, unable to keep your eyes off of him for longer than a second. His cheeks and the tips of his ears are a pretty pink and you wonder if his cheeks are as warm as yours are.

“Thought you didn’t like white wine?” Jungkook murmurs, head tilting inquisitively. 

“I prefer red, but if there’s white wine in front of me, I mean,” You shrug, “It’s not like ‘m gonna say no.”

“Oh? We’ll have to test that out, too,” Jungkook smiles, “I like soju the best. Nothin’ beats soju.”

“Yeah, peach and green grape,” You say knowingly, “The only flavors with rights.”

“Exactly. You get me,” Jungkook nods with wide eyes. He asks you about Tokyo, if you come here often. You answer him somewhat vaguely, but tell him that you grew up reading, writing and speaking Japanese. He looks impressed by that and the fondness in the lines of his lips startles you.

You chalk it up to the romance of this city making you soft and pliant to his doe eyes and the warmth of his smile. He’s so easy to get lost in- you find yourself leaning closer to him to hear what he has to say about his own travel dreams. He wants to go to New York City and Bangkok and Athens- the way his eyes light up constricts around your heart.

Every part of him radiates warmth and you want to be draped by it. He says something that makes you smile and laugh, and you swat at his shoulder reflexively. Jungkook only looks at you in that way. The way that makes you feel like you’re the only person in the world. He’s good at that.

He has hearts and stars in his eyes for you and it makes you choke.

Maybe you had imagined it all because you remember where you are. You’re in your boss’s hotel room and he’s standing right there. Jungkook sees the spark in your eyes disappear immediately and you pull away just as quickly, as if the moment had never happened.

He won’t deny the sting, but you’re so easy to get lost in. The fog in his mind clears, and while it’s only been a few minutes that you’ve been alone. It feels like much longer. But Namjoon and Sana are still deep in conversation, his dimples on display and her smile bright.

You pull away but your dark eyes are still wide and focused on him, stars swirling in your irises and Jungkook thinks he might fall into this wonderfully brown abyss held in your pretty face. Finally, you move away from him on the floor, almost immediately missing his warmth. You look back at him as you move to get some water, the same curious look on your face.

Your face is burning, and you’re surprised you’re able to keep this cool for this long. The urge to bolt from Namjoon’s hotel room and back to your own is one that you have to fight. But instead, you stay planted where you are. Jungkook confuses you, you hardly even know him and you had let him get so close to you. It’s not something you usually do, but what unnerves you is how nice it felt. The closeness of him, his eyes on you and only you. Are you bothered by it? 

No, you realize. No. You quite liked it. You’re supposed to hate him- he represents everything you hate. A young kid, a boy, raising quickly through the ranks of your corporate world, while you grasp at straws. 

Does he? Does he represent everything you hate? What a load of bullshit.

You swallow again. You need to leave.

“Hey, Joon,” You say softly, touching his elbow, “I’m going to head out. It’s getting late and I’ve gotta head out early tomorrow.”

Jungkook’s heart drops. He’d made you so uncomfortable that you were abruptly cutting your night short. Because of him. He needs to make this right.

“I’ll walk with you,” The words tumble out of Jungkook’s mouth before he can stop them. His heart is pounding in his ears- he needs to apologize before you hate him even more.

“Okay,” You reply with a smile, “Here are your leftovers.”

“I’ll walk with you both,” Sana says, taking her bag.

With that, you say your goodbyes and leave Namjoon’s room to the elevators. Your head feels like static, a wave of thoughts congealing into something impenetrable. The doors ding shut, all three of you standing on opposite ends of the elevator. You can’t look at Jungkook, you can’t see his doe eyes. Not right now.

Sana calls your name, “Thanks for the food.”

“No problem, Sana,” You murmur, “See you tomorrow.”

And then it’s just you and Jungkook in the elevator. 

“I’m sorry,” Jungkook says immediately, “I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry. If you don’t wanna talk to me outside of work, I get it-”

“What?” You ask, finally looking at him. You take a step forward, close enough to him that you’re in his orbit. “You didn’t… You didn’t make me uncomfortable, Jungkook. I would have told you if you did. You just… confuse me.”

The last bit comes out as a vulnerable whisper and all Jungkook can do is nod. 

“Goodnight, Jungkook,” You say clearly, casting him a look over your shoulder as you exit the elevator. Your eyes are guarded once more, as if the night hadn’t happened. As if he hadn’t fallen for you even further. You wash him away from your bloodstream quickly and Jungkook feels his heart aching once more.

By the time you pick up Jin, Jimin, and Hoseok from the airport and arrive at the hotel, it’s nearly noon. The car ride back was fun, dare you say it. It amazed you how Jin still remained close in contact with people you went to college with. It felt natural, talking to Jimin and Hoseok. As if years hadn’t gone by.

They were hot, and that was your first assessment when you had met them at the airport. Jimin and Hoseok had both embraced you in tight hugs, without any regard for whether you wanted one or not. You found that you didn’t really mind.

You didn’t know how you were going to survive this weekend surrounded by these many attractive people. 

“We should celebrate. For this reunion,” Hoseok says.

“Jungkook is here, too,” You reply, “A great big university reunion right here in Tokyo, huh?”

“Oh, yeah. I keep forgetting you guys work together now,” Jimin says.

“Wait, you guys are friends still?” You ask.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Jimin says, genuine confusion in the handsome planes of his face.

You suppose everyone else is better at making and maintaining friendships than you are. It stings a little, having so many people from university in the same place. In the city that already holds so many memories for you. But you’ll embrace it, because that’s what you’ve been working on. Embracing change.

And of course, what was a boys weekend without a night out at the club? Jin had all but demanded that you come, in true dramatic fashion- I can’t go out without you, you know. I can’t believe you’re considering leaving me like this. I’ll die there without you.

It didn’t take much from you to roll your eyes but agree and tell him that you were inviting Sana.

“Go pregame and get ready with your boys,” You had urged him, “It’s so rare you all are together like this. I’ll catch up with you later.”

“Are you sure?” Jin asked with uncertainty and you had only smiled warmly at him. 

“Yes, Seokjin. I’m sure. I’ll be crashing the party soon, don’t worry,” You reassured him and he left your hotel room. He promised to text you when to come and you just nodded, shooing him away.

That had been nearly two hours ago, and you’re putting the finishing touches on your makeup with Sana getting ready in the bathroom. Music is playing through your phone and once you’re done with your lip gloss, you make drinks and prepare shots for you and Sana.

“You’ve gotta tell me how you’re friends with so many hot men,” Sana says, taking a seat on the bed.

You scoff, “I’m really only friends with Jin. The rest of them come with Jin, we’re hardly friends.”

“Oh?” Sana asks with a skeptical raise of her eyebrow, “You all went to school together, right?”

“Yeah… Something like that,” You say lightly, “Jin kept in touch with all of them. I didn’t.”

You leave it at that and Sana knows not to press further.

“They’re all nice guys. I always had fun with them,” You say fondly, “You will, too.”

“Cheers to that,” Sana grins, “We look hot. Let’s take a picture.”

“Should we send it to our boss,” You roll your eyes.

“Yeah, that would send him off the deep end. He’d be here in five seconds, dragging us out by our ears,” Sana rolls her eyes as well with a laugh.

You try your best to make Sana feel as comfortable as she can with you. At least so that she’s comfortable when you go meet up with the guys later. You know it can be intimidating being around people who are so close, but they’ve always been welcoming.

It begs the question- why did you let them all go?

You don’t have time to unpack all of that. By the time Jin texts you, telling you to come to his suite on the eighteenth floor, you and Sana are three drinks and two shots in.

You’ve drank more in the last two days than you have in the last year alone. At least that’s what it feels like. 

You make sure to take your hotel card, phone and wallet and ensure that Sana does as well. Giggles erupt from the both of you when you enter the elevator, and excitement thrums in your veins. The liquid courage bouncing around in your veins makes you feel relaxed and you tug Sana’s hand out of the elevator once the steel doors open.

You text Jin from outside his door, you can already hear the loud peals of laughter and the beat of music through the walls. You wonder if they’ve gotten any noise complaints yet, but probably not- his room is the only one on this side of the hotel. He probably did this on purpose.

When he doesn’t answer your text, you decide to knock obnoxiously and Sana giggles at your impatience. On your fifth knock, the door swings open and you see Jin’s tipsy face complete with reddened cheeks and his broad smile. 

He hugs you like he hasn’t seen you in years, he even lifts you off of the ground a little bit. Your heart flutters with affection for him as you whine for him to put you down.

“Jin!” You shriek, “At least go inside, dummy- stop embarrassing me-”

He finally puts you down and holds you by the shoulders to take you in. His eyes are sharp and he says nothing as he assesses your outfit, apparently deeming you as acceptable as he waves you inside. He says hello to Sana, who returns his mellowed out hug graciously.

Jin hands you both full cups, and you trust Jin enough to know it’s a yummy but strong drink. You grip your cup tighter and allow Sana to go in front of you. The last thing you want is for her to feel left out, so you want the guys to be introduced to her first.

Besides, they all already knew you.

Jin does the introductions quickly, the guys all warming up to Sana and bringing her in for hugs as well. Her cheeks are flushed, and you knew she’d feel flustered. They’re intense in their friendliness and it would make anyone feel flustered and warm.

And then their eyes land on you and you wish you could melt into the floor. Six pairs of eyes stare back at you- apparently Yoongi had also decided to come as well. 

College reunion indeed.

You stay close to Jin, offering them a weak wave of your fingers and a smile. 

“Hello boys,” You say dramatically,  “Long time no see.”

“Jin’s been hiding you all to himself, hasn’t he?” Jimin says, not bothering to hide the way he’s looking at you. And you don’t mind, not really- you know you look good.

“I just saw you this morning. When I picked your sorry ass up from the airport,” You reply and Jimin pouts at you as everyone around you laughs at his expense. 

“Still so mean,” Jimin murmurs and you roll your eyes.

And with that, alcohol continues to flow as the chatter continues on.

You cast another glance to Sana, making sure she’s not by herself. You relax when you see her talking to Yoongi and Hoseok, smiling to yourself at how quickly she takes to them.

“Hey pretty,” Jimin says, seeing you near the alcohol and joining you.

“Hey you,” You parrot back and he smiles at you in that sweet, disarming way, “Want a drink?”

“You always made the best drinks,” Jimin says, handing his cup over to you. You ignore the way your chest tightens at his use of past tense.

“Maybe you just never knew how to make drinks,” You murmur, “Probably still don’t, huh?”

Jimin laughs lightly at that as a silence falls between you both. “You look good,” Jimin exhales, “You doin’ alright?”

You never know what to say to that. “Yeah. You look good, Jimin. You doin’ alright?” 

“Yeah. I’m still in Seoul at the dance school. Don’t be such a stranger,” Jimin murmurs and before you can protest, he pokes your forehead affectionately. 

“You’ll ruin my makeup,” You complain but give him a small smile, “Jimin. ‘M glad to see you. All of you.”

Jimin looks like he wants to say something more. But he bites his tongue. This isn’t the place to pick a petty fight, so he lets it go. Jungkook approaches you both, resting his arm on Jimin’s shoulder. Jimin groans dramatically and Jungkook only offers him a smile and a giggle.

“Cup’s empty,” Jungkook says, wiggling his cup to both of you, “Stop hoggin’ the alcohol.”

“Blame Jimin. Everything’s his fault,” You tease and Jimin rolls his eyes at you both.

“It is, isn’t it?” Jungkook grins and Jimin slips out from under Jungkook with another roll of his eyes. “Hey, you met Taehyung yet? My roommate? You ‘member him?”

His eyes are slick with alcohol, and yet they still sparkle at you like you hold all of the answers to the universe in them. He has this way of making you feel like you’re the only person in the world. It unnerves you, like many things about him do.

“No, where is he?”

Jungkook shouts for Taehyung to join him and you wince. All of a sudden his sandy haired roommate pops up from the direction of the living area and joins you at the drinks table. He looks a far cry from the boy you had driven home that night many years ago.

You knew being in the presence of so many attractive people was going to kill all of your brain cells by the end of the night.

Taehyung calls your name and nerves seize you inexplicably. 

“You remember me?” The words escape your lips before your brain has a chance to stop them.

“Course I do? The pretty girl who saved Kook and I at that one bar that I’m still banned from?” Taehyung grins, his eyes sweet and sincere.

“Jin was with me too, don’t forget him,” You say dryly, “Nice to see you again after all this time. And you’re Jungkook’s roommate?”

“Unfortunately,” Jungkook chimes in, earning him a laugh from you.

Taehyung is magnetic when he speaks to you, honey dripping from his tongue as he tells you about his journey as an aspiring art museum curator. Passion lights up his dark irises, his smile matching the intensity of it and you’re certain he has this effect on everyone he speaks to. They’re both so close to you, in your bubble and the scent of their cologne wafts into your nose. 

You drink more. You don’t know how to cope with all of this. So you drink.

Jungkook tells you that they’ve been roommates all through graduate school and they had recently moved into a new, bigger place. Now that they were both making a little more money. You find yourself benignly jealous of the life they live- two close friends living together and living for these kinds of nights with their other close friends. The bond they built and strengthened over the years is obvious in the way Taehyung holds Jungkook close, the way Hoseok lights up the entire room and makes everyone smile just because he’s smiling, the way Yoongi and Jimin bicker like an old married couple… Namjoon has already slotted himself within the group. Jin probably introduced him to them a while back, you realize.

Jungkook excuses himself to use the bathroom, leaving his cup next to Taehyung on the table. Taehyung’s gaze makes you nervous- the shift in his eyes is apparent as he lazily rakes his eyes over you.

“Kook told me he was workin’ with you again,” Taehyung murmurs, “What he didn’t tell me was how pretty you are.”

“What a line,” You say flatly and roll your eyes. To your surprise, he laughs, his smile making you smile as well.

“Just bein’ honest,” Taehyung shrugs, “‘Snot everyday you see our hot grad school girl after five years.”

“You’re full of it,” You roll your eyes, shoving his shoulder playfully, “‘Our?’”

“Jungkook was-” Taehyung starts but he’s interrupted by the man himself. Jungkook was what?

“You talkin’ about me?” Jungkook says, elbowing Taehyung. Taehyung only shakes his head and hands him his cup, before excusing himself. He throws you another charming smile and if you weren’t so on edge, your knees might have buckled.

“He’s…” 

“A pain in the ass?” Jungkook supplies, “Yeah.”

“No, I was gonna say he’s interesting,” You laugh. A short silence settles between you both, giving you a moment to really take him in. You itch your chin nervously before pushing your lips to the rim of your cup and watching him.

You’ve always known that Jungkook was somehow handsome, sexy and cute all at the same time- wide, doe eyes, pinchable cheeks, pretty smile, and then his body… His thighs strain against the tight material of his pants and you’re certain it’s deliberate. His button up shirt is loose but still molds to his muscles in that way where it leaves you wanting more. His shirt is buttoned at the elbow, giving you a peek to the smattering of tattoos on his forearm. His dark hair is parted in the middle, all soft and shiny, and a little long. It settles over his forehead, almost in his eyes, effortlessly. Two hoops in each ear glint in your direction and you swallow nervously.

Jungkook catches you looking at his tattoos- how ironic, considering he’s doing the same of you. The satin black top you’re wearing has a plunging neckline, giving him a view of the tattoos stemming from your upper arm to your clavicle.

It also offers him a teasing hint of your bare chest where if you turn to the side just a little, he catches a glimpse of even more. It makes him swallow, just as nervous as you. The top itself is loose, only cinched a little at the waist but your pants are tight, your strappy heels adding even more dimension to your legs.

You nervously twist the layering of gold necklaces around your neck. Jungkook has always thought you were beautiful, but he’s never seen you like this. Not even when he knew you years ago.

“Your cup’s empty again,” You laugh nervously, offering to make him another drink. You don’t know what to do with your hands, wanting to keep busy.

“Oh,” Jungkook breathes, “Yeah.”

He tries to keep his eyes on your hands, really he does. But you bend forward just a little and his eyes immediately flit to your plentiful chest. 

Jungkook thinks he might die, and what a way to go.

You pull away from the table, handing him his drink and he thanks you quietly. Jungkook ignores the way your eyes shine curiously at him, and he buries himself in the confusion fuzzing up his mind.

Jin, to your relief, pulls you away from Jungkook before you can do something incredibly stupid. Like let him burst through your carefully structured walls even further than he already has.

Typically, clubs are not your favorite place to be. The intense crowd, the neon lights, the smoke… It’s all over the top. Usually, you can’t even hear yourself think over the music. Though, you don’t mind the sense of anonymity in such a crowded place. Besides, you’ve heard great things about IBEX, so you’re curious about it.

It’s a huge place, easy for everyone to split up, but still small enough that you can easily find your group. You urge Sana to go have fun with the guys as you order a round of drinks for everyone. As one of the oldest of your friends, you felt that sense of responsibility for them. Even if you hadn’t called them friends in years.

You signal them over once the drinks are ready, catching Namjoon’s eye and beckoning him over. They slowly begin to surround you, shouting thank you’s over the music. Jimin slings his arm around your shoulders as if it’s nothing. As if he’s known you for all this time.

It makes you feel warm. He gazes at you with crescent eyes and a full smile. It makes your heart thump heavily in your chest.

“Cheers,” Jimin says, tearing his eyes away from you and towards the group. His toast elicits a sequence of ‘cheers’ from everyone. You scan across all of them before your eyes inevitably land on Jungkook. He’s looking at you with a smile, the kind of smile that makes you wonder if it’s a smile only for your eyes.

Your smile matches his in intensity, neither of you pulling your gazes away. Until Jin pulls you away from Jimin, exclaiming that he needs to dance with you. His best friend.

The moment passes, and you make sure Sana is okay. She’s conversing with Yoongi now, and he’s laughing at something she’s saying. It makes you feel warm. Again.

You allow the music to pump through your veins as laughter bubbles from your lips freely at Jin’s antics. You entertain him, copying his coordinated movements with his same enthusiasm. You can tell he’s drunk, from the fiery flush in his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He abruptly pulls you close to him for a tight hug and holds your face in his hands.

“Jin,” You giggle, “What you doin’?”

“I love you,” Jin giggles, “Y’r my best friend, ‘n I love you.” He always got like this when you were drunk, so affectionate. You wonder how he knows exactly what you need to hear, when you need to hear it.

“Can’t wait for you t’meet Yuna when we get home,” Jin slurs.

“I’m excited, too-”

“She’s nervous y’know,” Jin continues as if you hadn’t said anything, “Knows y’r my best friend.”

“Jin,” You exhale, “Even if she doesn’t like me, you clearly like her. I shouldn’t matter-”

“No,” Jin says sharply, “Why d’you think you don’t matter? You matter to me.”

“Jin-”

“Stop it,” He silences you and you comply with a sigh. 

“She doesn’t have to be nervous around me,” You finally say.

“You can be a little scary when you want to be,” He teases.

“That’s exactly how I want to be known,” You scoff and Jin laughs, swaying with you offbeat to the music. You stand with Jin like that for a few minutes, sipping on your drink and giggling at his antics.

“Seokjin,” You murmur, voice a little shaky, “I never say it but… I-I love you. So much. You’re my best friend and my rock. I don’t know who I’d be without you-”

“You’d be you,” Jin says without missing a beat, “You’d be scary, intense, kind, genuine, petty, funny and beautiful with or without me, sweetheart.”

Jin sees wetness in your eyes and pulls you in for another hug. “None of that,” Jin murmurs, “Hey, let’s take a picture ‘n send it to Grandma. She’ll get a kick out of that.”

You stand in Jin’s arms, in the crowd of people surrounding you and not paying attention to you. Despite the throng of people around you, it feels like it’s just you and Jin, and your friends in the club.

“Let’s get back to our friends,” You say, “They probably think we’re making out-”

“You would be so lucky,” Jin scoffs, “Only Yuna gets this handsome face.” You pinch his cheeks affectionately and coo at him.

“Hey, by the way,” Jin says, “Not to be totally unprofessional here. But I’m pretty sure Jeon Jungkook has the hots for you. Kid won’t stop lookin’ at you. Not that I can blame him, I mean look at your tits.”

With that statement, Jin walks away from you, leaving you confused and curious- two words becoming increasingly common with your thoughts of Jeon Jungkook.

“Hey pretty,” comes a sweet voice to your right side. You already know it’s Jimin before you meet his sincere eyes.

“Hey you,” You reply, “Wanna dance? We used to always be in sync.”

If Jimin is surprised he doesn’t show it. He only takes your drink and finishes it, placing it on a high table near you. He walks behind you, a hand on the small of your back as you weave through the crowd easily. Bodies push back into you but you only dance along with them to move past. Jimin pulls you closer to him once he finds a spot, pulling you into his side. He turns you so that you’re facing him, the lights of the club illuminating the sheen of his lips and the shine in his eyes. You push a stray strand of his silver hair back behind his ear.

“I meant it you know,” Jimin murmurs, for your ears only, “You look good.” You lean into him at his praise, a hand on his chest. Your nails press into the soft material of his dress shirt and he tightens his grip around your waist, thumbs rubbing circles. 

“You do, too,” You reply easily, “You always did.”

Jimin scoffs but you look at him earnestly. “I mean it,” You say with a smirk, mimicking his words. He says nothing, only holds you and rolls his hips into yours to the beat of the music. He watches you carefully, trying to gauge your reaction. You snake a hand to the base of his neck and lightly scratch as he presses his nose to your neck. You’re lucky he’s holding you tight- you’re certain you’re knees would buckle if it weren’t for him.

It’s been years since anyone danced with you like this. You let out a soft sound into his skin and Jimin groans, pressing his hips into yours even more slowly if possible.

“Why’d you leave,” Jimin breathes into your skin, “Missed you. Missed my friend.”

“I was a mess,” You mutter, “I’m still a mess.”

“You’re here now?” He asks, looking at you with big eyes. Jimin cups your face tenderly, and you’re not sure how many of these kind touches you can take for one night.

“Yeah,” You say faintly, “I just… couldn’t. I still can’t.”

You won’t apologize for mending your own cracks the way you needed to. And Jimin knows that. “Don’t be a stranger,” Jimin says and pulls you in for a hug.

“Jimin,” You mumble, “I missed you, too.”

Barely stifling a yawn, you look around for your group. They’re all within eyesight of you- Sana and Yoongi were still engrossed in conversation with each other, Namjoon with Jin, Hoseok and Jimin and Taehyung with Jungkook. Taehyung casts a look over to you and immediately whispers to Jungkook. It shouldn’t surprise you that they both saunter over to you, standing on either side of you. Taehyung wraps an arm around your shoulders and leans against you as if you’re old friends. At this angle, you can see the expanse of his tanned, golden skin since the top few buttons of his shirt are popped.

“See somethin’ you like?” Taehyung asks coyly with a wink.

“No, just wondering why you’re wearing tinted aviators inside,” You mutter, pointing at him, “You look like an asshole.”

Taehyung laughs, throwing his head back good-naturedly, “You clearly don’t know fashion. You must think you’re hilarious.”

Before you can retort, a yawn overtakes you. “Are we boring you?” Jungkook teases.

“No, ‘m just tired,” You blink to force yourself to stop yawning, “Hey, you guys wanna get ice cream?”

“Yes,” Jungkook says instantly.

Taehyung nearly snorts but agrees. By the time you and Jungkook say your goodbyes, and you ask for the tenth time if Sana wants to come with you (she declines, opting to stay with Yoongi), Taehyung is nowhere to be found. Jungkook rolls his eyes, his phone vibrating with a text from him-

taehyung: you’re welcome 

“Tae’s not coming,” Jungkook says slowly, wondering if you might change your mind if it’s just you two getting ice cream.

You shrug, “His loss. I know a great place.”

Taking Jungkook to one of your favorite ice cream places that you used to come with Appa to feels intimate. But it feels right and you’re not bothered by it. Once you buy your respective cones (you pay for both before Jungkook can even fumble for his card), you head back outside for a short walk towards the hotel.

The ice cream place itself was close to the hotel, though you had to Uber here from the club. It’s a nice night for a walk, a little chilly but not uncomfortably so. You and Jungkook fall into an easy conversation, talking about the silliness of your shared friends.

He looks nice under the moonlight, you decide. A light breeze lifts his hair up briefly before it flawlessly settles over his forehead.

“I can’t keep up with you,” Jungkook whispers, his words carrying into the night air.

“What do you mean?” Your heart picks up immediately at the anguish in his tone. The air between both of you shifts immediately. What was easy becomes hardened, the space between suffocating you. You can physically see him pulling away from you. Months, or maybe years, of frustration seems to be coming to a head right here. Right near your favorite ice cream shop.

“One sec you hate me. The next, you’re asking me to get ice cream with you,” Jungkook says, something familiar and icy curling in his brown irises. It always looks so off-putting, the callousness in his eyes. It seems to be directed at you so often these days.

“I don’t hate you-”

“You avoided me for 2 and a half months. You’re only talking to me now because you have to!”

“That’s not true-”

“Oh, really? You telling me that you the last two and a half months was all in my head?”

You stay quiet, because he’s not wrong.

“That’s what I thought,” Jungkook says to himself, tearing his eyes from you. The cold look in his eyes has returned and it makes your heart ache. He can’t look at you like that, you can hardly bear it.

“I’m fucked up, I get it. Don’t think I don’t get it-”

“You left. Without a goodbye and now fuckin’ five years later- my dream girl’s my colleague and she hates me.”

A sudden, chilling epiphany douses you- he has no idea why you left. You know him well enough to know that he’ll feel awful once you tell him. Apparently none of his friends had told him. Maybe they thought it was your story to tell. It’s not much of a story, not really. It’s the story of a heartbroken girl with commitment issues.

Your face drops. Maybe he’s hurting you the same way you hurt him. But it changes nothing.

“You can’t even look at me now!”

“You listen to me, Jungkook,” You hiss, “I’m not your dream girl. I’m nobody’s dream girl, so let’s get that straight. I’m awful a-and terrible and mean- and… 

“My dad died,” You finally whisper, “Appa died and I couldn’t handle grad school so I dropped out. Dropped off the face of the earth. Got the first job I could, for Grandma and me. 

“I fuckin’ dropped out, my daddy died and I can’t look at you sometimes because it fuckin’ reminds me of when I was happy and I can’t chase that feeling because I don’t know what it feels like anymore!”

Jungkook’s eyes are wide, pretty pink lips parted in speechlessness. Fuck. You’ve ruined any chance at friendship with him, you know that. So you bury the dagger even further in whatever this is and you turn on your heel and run. Because that’s all you’re good at. Running. Your eyes are blurry with freely falling tears and the sound of your own heaving sobs are loud in your ears. 

You leave your heart out on the streets of Tokyo, near your favorite ice cream shop but you don’t even hear the sound of Jungkook chasing after you.

[cry-stars]

Fic Questionnaire

Tagged by @dazais-guardian-angel! Thank you so much, Dana! This is ridiculously long, so I’m putting it under a read-more, but first, I’m tagging @shocotate, @gemstoneslesbian, @theo-sev, @101flavoursofweird, @asa-liz, @teaofdestiny, and @ms-enmystic if any of you would like to do this as well! If anyone else would like to, please feel free, I mean it! I only tagged people that I know have an Ao3/write fics, but if you would like to, please go for it.

How many works do you have on AO3? 41

What's your total AO3 word count? 152999

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? 

Professor Layton, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Lord of the Rings are the ones I’ve written the most for. I’ve also written a few stories for Rune Factory, Ace Attorney, Astro Boy, Ouran High School Host Club, Marvel, and Sonic the Hedgehog.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 

The Open Jar, Golden Child, Ambivalence, The Duality of Homunculi, and Responsibilities. They’re all FMA stories; I’m kind of sad that none of the PL stories are on top, since I think I improved a lot since writing the FMA ones, but it all comes down to fandom size, I think.

Do you respond to comments, why or why not? 

These days, I always do, even if it’s just a short “Thanks so much for reading, I’m so glad you liked it!” I’m just really grateful that somebody would take the time to read the story and bother to say something. It takes a lot of energy to leave a comment sometimes, even a short one, and saying thank you for that is the least that I can do. I had pretty bad depression about two and a half years ago and took a big social media break for about six months; I didn’t respond to any comments during that time. I feel pretty bad about it now, and sometimes I think about responding, but it was so long ago that I feel awkward replying now.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? 

Maybe that OHSHC fic “Funeral” I wrote years ago where Tamaki gets… shot and dies??? Why did I write that…??? I intended to write a follow-up where he didn’t actually die and recovers, but I never did, so the fic seems to end with him dying. That’s one of the cringe fics that I kind of want to delete now :’) Second-closest (and one that I actually like/don’t find too cringey) is my recent Clora fic “Almost Lost,” which ends with a lot of crying, but it isn’t a tragedy and their crisis is averted.

Have you ever received hate on a fic? 

Not exactly. I did get a couple of comments with criticisms on FF.net years ago, but nothing horrible. Sometimes people vaguepost about how Clora is Bad after I post something, haha, but that’s pretty much the extent of it thankfully... I’d probably cry if I actually got a hate comment adsjhkdsaf... :’) 

Do you write smut? If so what kind? 

Asdfhjkadfasdlfaf no. I get so embarrassed even writing about kissing. I’d someday like to write something that actually deserves the T rating that I give to a lot of my ship fics, but I don’t think that I could write anything higher-rated than that, and it’ll probably take me a long time to work up to that.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? 

I don’t think so!

Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No, not to my knowledge. If someone wanted to, though, that would be neat!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

A long time ago, my friend and I wrote a very silly LOTR fic where we would alternate writing chapters, with no planning whatsoever. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard from her in years; I wish we could have finished the fic, even if it was garbage adskjhdsf… I miss her. More recently, my friend and I have been co-writing (or at least brainstorming) a Clora story (costarring a cherished OC) set twenty years after UF. Even if the fic takes forever to actually come together, we’ve come up with so many great ideas and it’s been loads of fun.

What's your all time favorite ship? 

Clora’s definitely my all-time favourite. There have been a few others that are really special to me, but honestly, Clora has everything I want in a ship. They have so much potential for fluff and angst, and they can get SO much character development together. (and I really relate to/adore both characters sdjkhsadf…) The ship does get hate and that does discourage me at times, but they feel really rewarding to write about; I feel like I’m solving a puzzle whenever I get one step closer to having them get a happy ending together. Nobody had written about them since like… 2016 until I started last year, so I’m really glad that a few other people who also liked the ship have something to read again now.

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? 

Some of my old FMA WIPs… I’m not really into FMA or the characters/ship I used to write for anymore, and I kind of feel like I won’t ever get that kind of passion for the series again, although I still have some good memories of it. Every so often, though, I get a really nice comment on one of them and wish that I could finish them for those peoples’ sake. 

What are your writing strengths? 

Once I’ve found what emotion I’m going for, I think that I’m fairly good at keeping it consistent throughout a whole fic. I think that I’m also okay at being sympathetic to most characters, even ones that I don’t really like; it feels awful when somebody spitefully writes about my favourite characters, and I don’t want anyone to feel that way when reading my stuff. I think that I’m good at writing about… longing or yearning too, haha… not so good at writing established relationship stuff adshjksfd but I’m getting better.

What are your writing weaknesses? 

So much… The biggest thing is getting myself to write at all. I just get so easily overwhelmed, distracted, or discouraged and give up. It takes me forever to write just a oneshot, let alone multichapter stories. I’m also quite bad at planning ahead… I plan major moments in a story, but often, the in-between bits are surprises to me. I do enjoy how my characters kind of take me on a ride and surprise me, but sometimes I find myself written into a corner. I also overexplain. So many of my chapters wind up so long because I feel like I have to explain every little detail. 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? 

I’ve never done much of that when writing about real-life languages, but I used to throw in the random Sindarin word in my LotR fics, such as calling someone’s father “Ada,” since that was common in LotR fics back then. If I was to do it now, though, I’d probably only include dialogue in another language if it was immediately translated to English afterwards, like someone explaining what a sentence meant, but I wouldn’t throw in random words unless it was a character’s normal habit to mix languages.

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for? 

The Lorax, but it was super cringe, and I deleted the fic… Funnily enough, it wasn’t even about the onceler, it was about my OC dad for him.

My official first fandom in my mind is Lord of the Rings/Tolkien in general. I was a very awkward and excitable teenager, new to the internet, and met a lot of kids on FF.net who were as awkward as me by commenting on their very silly fics/writing very silly fics similar to theirs to try to impress them. I had so much fun and made a lot of friends that way, although I’ve lost touch with almost all of them, sadly… I really miss them. The fics are all on my FF.net profile still, but I don’t recommend most of them aJSDKsdf… Those were the days before I was an angst addict and everything I wrote was ridiculous. Most things I wrote before 2019 aren’t very good to me... 

What's your favorite fic you've ever written? 

Right now, probably Bright Saffron Dreams… I put so much love and energy into that one, and it has so many tropes that I like in it. If I’d been brave enough to make it slightly more overtly romantic, it would have been exactly what I wanted in a Clora fic, haha...

[chyouxart]

Tagged by @northelypark (thanks hun~) I don’t know who to tag so any followers are welcome to do this if you want~

How many works do you have on AO3?

One? I think? I honestly haven’t been on Ao3 for a while so I can’t quite remember how it works but if we’re counting chapters then I have 8. All of those are part of my one series: P3301. They’re all really old chapters and gross so please don’t look them up LOL I’m currently revamping the story, which is why I haven’t been on Ao3 for a while or uploaded anything else. I intend to write short stories branching off from P3301 once I finish the main series, but it’s going to be a while. Maybe I’ll upload some of my old Clive short stories for the hell of it in the meantime.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

98,021

How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

On Ao3 I’ve only written for Professor Layton, but back in the day (wAY back in the day) I made Sonic OCs and wrote an entire trilogy for that (kind of) as well as a MapleStory fanfic that was also pretty ambitions, about 300 pages? And then I planned a sequel that never happened due to uni and life getting in the way.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

P3301 Prologue (17)

Chapter 1 (7)

Chapter 4, 6 and 7 tied (5)

Chapter 2, 3, 5 and 8 tied (4)

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I did when I was more active on there and I will again when I finally start uploading my chapters again (shouldn’t be too long now, I’m working out the events of Part 3 out of the 6 parts. So, prooogreeess??)

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhh... I guess all of them are kind of angsty since it’s a murder-mystery and the murders are ongoing, but maybe the most emotional for Clive, my main protag, is Justine fainting in chapter 7 (I think it was chapter 7?? Things have been moved around and changed so I don’t really remember haha)

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Nah, but you can send me some if you really want haha

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Yup ;3 Again, haven’t really uploaded anything on Ao3 but maybe in time. Currently writing a little something something in my spare time and when I feel like it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Better not happen either cuz I worked my ass off on P3301 omg

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I’m learning Japanese so it would be cool to translate my own fic sometime (in like a million years)

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, probably won’t either. I really enjoy fleshing out my own ideas and it would be pretty hard to work with someone else, especially if it doesn’t turn out exactly how I want (which is why just writing P3301 on my own is hard enough. I can’t even agree with myself on some things LOL)

What’s your all time favorite ship?

Welp, @northelypark got me into Clive/Amelia and I kinda just fell into it especially since it really helped us figure out our own relationship haha. Wasn’t originally going to have it, but I’ve now added a few chapters with her and Clive (won’t spoil what those are about yet). Before that I had just kind of imagined him being a single dad forever, and I’m really not a fan of romance usually, but, like I said, Clive/Amelia is pretty special to me so it’s easier to write about now.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

A long time ago there was a writing prompt I’d randomly found asking to write something with ‘dust and faded roses’ and I’d started a really angsty short story going through Clive’s life and ending each segment on the phrase of the prompt. I’ll probably never finish it, but I think it was still pretty interesting.

What are your writing strengths?

I myself think and have heard from others in the past that I’m pretty good with emotional writing. It helps when I’m really connected with a character, like Clive, but this, unfortunately for him, means he gets tortured a lot LOL

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Maybe someday in Japanese. Justine herself is Japanese and I hc that she wasn’t able to learn much of the language due to losing her parents so soon so I may have a few chapters where it’s sprinkled in here and there where she’s learning it, most likely through an app or something so she’s got her nose even more in her phone to annoy Clive even more haha

What was the first fandom you ever wrote for?

Sonic LOL

What’s your favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Definitely P3301. It’s been really challanging with everything else going on in my life (and just in reality with the pandemic and the whole world falling apart rn...) but it’s really pushed me to be the most creative in a story I’ve ever been and also helped me tackle heavy topics, which is fun for me for some reason lolol

[blackbutterfliescal]

Your Rainbow Will Coming Smiling Through

A Michael Clifford One Shot

Pairing: Single Dad!Michael Clifford & OC Zoey Clifford

Word count: 4.8K

Rating: Mostly fluff with a side of angst

Requested by: Absolutely not a goddamn soul. I’m just here to be soft n emo, I guess.

Content: 3rd person POV, OC Zoey as Michael’s daughter, major character death (main character’s spouse is dead), side of Malum because I couldn’t help myself

A/N: This is based on Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Cinderella” and it’s lived in my head for a long time. The title is based on lyrics from “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes” from Disney’s Cinderella. I don’t normally engage with a lot of dad!sos content for personal reasons, but this idea has lived in my head rent free for far too long so I hope you like it! Big big thank you to @devilatmydoor and @spicycal for encouraging me to get this one done!! It’s only taken me a month lmao

✨ Masterlist ✨

Let me know if you want to be added to or removed from my taglist 🌺

AO3 Link

Feedback is always appreciated! 😊

———

Dinner had been an event. It seemed like it was always an event these days. Pasta noodles and vegetables hung from the walls in the small eat-in kitchen, reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock. Michael let out a deep sigh and ran a hand across his tired face. He’d been so sure that the new recipe would be a hit, but his headstrong three year old had dashed that hope almost immediately. Since quarantine began a few weeks ago, she’d grown bored of staying home and had begun to take her frustrations out on the only other person around. Each day in the modest apartment brought a new challenge but the theme this week was picky eating habits. Michael had tried old favorites, trendy recipes from mommy bloggers, and he’d even let Zoey pick what he bought at the grocery. Honestly, he’d tried anything and everything if he thought it meant she wouldn’t fight him at every meal.

Michael picked up the plates from the table, scraping the few bites that weren’t subjected to his daughter’s wrath into the trashcan by the door. As the dishes landed in the small sink and Michael turned on the tap, he bent forward to rest his forearms on the counter. One glance around the warzone kitchen had tears stinging his eyes. He fought to keep them from falling to no avail, eyes blurring as the droplets got lost in the flowing water and spiraled down the drain.

“It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be this hard. We were supposed to be in this together,” Michael’s voice was barely more than a whisper as his thoughts raced and he struggled to compose himself. His voice came out coarse as his frustrated cries hung in the air until it became too thick to breathe in. “It’s been nearly ten months and I’m still no good without you. Zoey’s just like you and I need you here.” He’d hoped setting his thoughts free might ease his mind, but it only made the words weigh heavier on his slumped shoulders. Michael’s pleas were desperate through the sobs. “I wish you were here. You’d know exactly what to do. You always did.” He was barely thirty when he’d been made a widower, carrying the constant grief of a life unlived, seeing a shadow where there should have been a spouse.

He’d been told repeatedly that things would get easier with time but he didn’t think there’d ever be a day where he didn’t need her, didn’t see her in their baby girl. He pulled himself upright with a deep inhale, using the back of his hand to wipe tear stains from his cheeks. Michael couldn’t stop the incessant sniffling brought on by the tears while he continued to take steady breaths through his mouth. He pulled all his focus to wash the few dishes still left from the night and placed them in the drying rack before shutting off the tap. He wrung out the dish towel and began using it to scrub down the mess on the walls. Their dogs seemed to have made quick work of cleaning up the peas that got sprayed across the tiled floor while Michael cleaned up Zoey in the bath and he assumed they’d already made their way to her room.

Through a few small, shaky inhales, he heard a familiar tune playing from the other end of the hallway. After tossing the bits of dinner that he’d pulled off the wall into the bin, he closed the lid and hung the dish towel across the faucet to dry. He quietly made his way to Zoey’s room as the music grew louder, sparing a quick glance in the hall mirror so his disheveled state didn’t alarm Zoey.

He had forgotten that he’d placed an old CD player in her room with several of his old favorites in a small case. Every now and then she liked to listen to his CDs while she played. She usually needed her dad to help her turn it on but it seemed she’d found the play button on her own and begun the same tunes they’d danced to earlier that week. Her curls, still mildly damp from her bath after the messy dinner, bounced around her round face as she spun in circles and giggles fell from her mouth freely. She’d slipped a sparkly dress-up outfit over her pajamas and the matching tiara had almost completely slipped free from her hair. Michael noticed both dogs intently watched from the bed and he let a bittersweet smile tug at his lips while she twirled around the room. Zoey reminded him most of her late mother when she smiled and it made his heart swell, reminding him that she wasn’t completely gone.

When Zoey looked up and noticed him in the doorway, a delighted squeal came from her mouth. “Daddy!! C’mon, I need you! There’s a ball at the castle and I’ve been invited and I need to practice my dancing. Please! Daddy, please!” She wrapped both of her hands around Michael’s fingers and tugged him to the middle of the carpet as if they didn’t have a care in the world. Once she was satisfied with where he stood, she steadied herself and placed her bare feet on top of his shoes, reaching out to grab his other hand. His grip on her was secure as he moved the two of them around merrily, careful not to let her slip from her place on top of his feet. Since losing Zoey’s mom, he’d promised himself that he wouldn’t let the little moments pass him by. He knew that someday, much sooner than he’d like, someone would steal his little girl’s heart away from him but he wanted to cherish every moment until then. Even if it did include meal-time tantrums.

The upbeat track faded out, replaced by soft guitar chords and a sweetly crooning melody. In one smooth motion, Michael lifted Zoey into his arms and began to sway with her. Her petite hand landed against his warm cheek as she met his green eyes. She studied him for a beat before he rested his forehead against hers and let his eyes fall shut. As Michael began to sing along softly, Zoey pulled away from his face and adjusted herself down to rest against his chest. He nuzzled her close and smiled at the memory that her mother had always found a calmness in the way his voice vibrated through his chest as well.

“Love me tender, love me sweet, never let me go. You have made my life complete and I love you so. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For, my darling, I love you and I always will.”

It had been an exhausting evening and it didn’t take long for familiar snores to fill the air from where Zoey rested beneath his chin. He smiled and silently thanked the universe that the last song on the album had been a ballad. Careful not to wake her, he kept a gentle rock in his measured steps as he clicked off the lights through the apartment. Making his way back into her room, he lifted the light blue covers on her small bed while the dogs shifted toward the far end. When he tried to slide her onto the pillow, Zoey’s grip on his shirt tightened and she let out a sleepy groan. Michael shushed her sweetly with a lighthearted laugh and pulled her back into him. He reached down again to pull the covers back further, causing both dogs to move to the floor with a huff, before slipping between them and letting her rest on top of his chest as he stared up at the ceiling. He covered them both and began to hum the sweet melody once more, letting the combination of his voice and heartbeat lull his daughter to sleep again. It wasn’t long before they both drifted off to a much-needed night of rest.

———

With a contented sigh, Zoey placed her new boots on the floor, lining them up to sit below the dress hanging on a singular coat hook on the wall to the right of her closet.

She’d spent nearly every weekend for the past month piled into her dad’s car with her friends, scouring every dress shop in the city. In typical Zoey fashion, she wasn’t interested in an oversized dress with heels that she’d ultimately kick off after the first song played. Somewhere around the fourth store - or maybe fifth? - her friend had shoved her into a fitting room with an understated black a-line they’d picked for her. Though she wasn’t typically a fan of lace or tulle, she knew it was the one she’d spent her time looking for. She knew the lace appliques delicately placed across the neckline would soften up the leather boots and jacket she was already planning to wear.

She pulled one bare foot underneath her and plopped down on her bed, queuing up a lowkey playlist and admiring the outfit she’d put together. She could admit that it was nice to check the prom dress off her to-do list but the centerpiece of the outfit was her mom’s vintage leather jacket. Her dad had gifted it to her years ago, telling her about how excited her mother had been to save up for a real leather jacket and how she’d shopped through every store in the city to find the right one. Not unlike the way he’d seen Zoey searching for the right prom dress.

Of course, Zoey didn’t have many memories of her mom, except for the stories Michael had told her over the years. Somehow, things like her mother’s old leather jacket, still in great condition, made her feel connected to the woman she barely remembered. Zoey often wondered how she could miss someone she couldn’t remember on her own. Maybe some of it was secondhand grief from years of watching her father. Either way, she always felt too nervous to actually wear her mom’s jacket, afraid she’d do something to ruin it, wrecking the already thin tie she had to her. While Michael had always done his best to fill both parental roles, some problems were bigger than he could handle alone. On difficult nights when she needed a mom, Zoey dug the jacket out of the closet and just held it close, hoping to find some guidance from whatever cosmic forces were out there. Now, she’d decided, prom was as good an occasion as any to actually wear it out. It was a big night and she wanted to feel both of her parents there.

As she picked up her laptop to tackle the last few assignments of senior year, Michael’s knuckles rapped on the open door that led to her room. The sound pulled her from her reverie and she glanced up to see her dad in the doorway. Michael, mid-40s, donned large wide-rimmed glasses and his hair was cut short around his face. His natural shade had lightened quite a bit over the years while the ever-present scruff on his chin had taken on shining grey tones. He smiled fondly, taking in the outfit Zoey had put together as it hung on the wall before turning to meet her expectant gaze. Her smile beamed as she questioned, “Do you like it? Do you think Allison will like it? Her dress is baby pink so we’re going to be the least coordinated couple there. But I guess that’s fitting.” A small laugh fell from her mouth as she looked back at the all black ensemble. Michael still heard Zoey’s mom in that laugh and felt a pull in his chest seeing that jacket again. He nodded in response before pointing to the quilted leather. “She’d be so proud of you, you know?” His voice held a tinge of sadness amidst the pride he held for his baby girl.

“No!! No, no no. Don’t cry. You know that only ends with both of us crying!” Zoey slid the laptop to the side and made her way to the man occupying her door frame. He let out a sniffing laugh and shaky breath as she wrapped her arms around him while burying her head in his broad chest. Michael rested his head on top of hers before placing a small kiss on top of her hair. He’d always made sure that she felt safe with him. No matter what was going on elsewhere, it was the two of them versus the world. But damn it all if he didn’t wish that she had her mom here to see the amazing young woman she’d become.

Zoey’s playlist continued quietly and Michael began to rock back and forth as she relaxed into his arms. He knew moments like this would only get harder to come by in a few short weeks. She’d grown up in the blink of an eye, right in front of him. He wanted to keep her close as long as he could. It didn’t matter that dinner was downstairs, getting colder by the minute. Slowly, “Moon River” crept through the speakers and Zoey pulled her head back. “Wait a minute. This is the song we have to dance to,” she whispered. The smile on her face shifted from sweet to teasing and Michael braced for whatever quick-witted remark she had for him. “We gotta work on your moves, old man!” Michael rolled his eyes in response and let out a sarcastic laugh at her words. “Dad, the prom is just one week away and we need to practice our dancing. Please, daddy, please.”

It was custom that each senior waltzed with a parent, or some other guardian, at the very beginning of the prom. Families were only allowed in during this dance and would be ushered out after every group of seniors had taken their turn. Michael and Zoey had been at every after school rehearsal for the past 6 weeks, trying desperately to learn the choreographed steps. Zoey had mastered the box steps with ease. The turning box took a few more tries, but she got it eventually. Michael had taken even more practice though, and she was determined they would perfect the steps before they were in front of all her friends. He didn’t object, not wanting to embarrass her. Letting out an exasperated sigh, Michael stepped further into his daughter’s room, helping her push a few things out of the way as she started the song over and stood tall in her ballroom posture. Michael took small steps but still managed to run into a few things as Zoey coached him through the routine. They made it through to the end of the song unscathed and upright, counting that as a victory.

As Zoey let her rigid posture drop, Michael placed both of his hands on each side of her head, pulling her close again to place another kiss on top of her head. “We’ve got this, Z,” he reassured her. She snaked her arms around to his back as the next song on her playlist began. They stood still in the silence as a familiar voice began to croon through the air. “Do you remember that I used to sing this to you to get you to sleep? It always did the trick after a rough day,” Michael mused as his hands brushed over her hair, reminiscing on days gone by. She leaned back to look up at her dad’s face before answering. “Of course I do! Why do you think I listen to it so often?”

The greying scruff on Michael’s chin made her giggle as it tickled her forehead where he left a kiss. “My sweet girl,” he mused as they began to sway again. She hummed along with the melody before Michael joined in, smooth voice lilting over the recording.

“Love me tender, love me long, take me to your heart. For it’s there that I belong and will never part. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For my darling, I love you and I always will.”

In true Clifford fashion, Zoey’s stomach rumbled through the otherwise quiet bedroom as the next verse began. It sent both of them into a fit of laughter, reminding Michael of the reason he came up to her room in the first place - the dinner waiting downstairs. Zoey stopped her playlist before they made their way to the kitchen, voicing their concerns that the cats had jumped up on the counter to help themselves.

———

Zoey couldn’t help the smile stretched across her full cheeks as she parked her car in front of her father’s home. As she reached for the door handle, her free hand lifted the back of her fiancée’s palm to her cherry chapstick-covered smile and she placed a series of small kisses. Allison’s warm eyes met Zoey’s gaze with a blissful smile of her own before she spoke hesitantly. “The last planning session before everything is in motion. Ready for all the questions from Mr. Wedding Planner in there?” Zoey’s eyebrows quirked up and she reached behind the seats to pull out her planning binder. “Ready if you are!” They stepped out of the car and laughter followed them through the front door to announce their arrival.

The butterflies in Zoey’s stomach hadn’t diminished even slightly since the moment Allison got down on one knee during family game night. Though if Zoey honestly thought about it, the butterflies had been there since she worked up the nerve to ask Allison to prom as her girlfriend. She hoped she’d have the flutter in the pit of her stomach as long as she had air in her lungs. 

The proposal had been intimate and thoughtful and sweet and perfectly them. Allison had enlisted Michael’s help, along with his long-term partner Calum, to spell out “marry me” on the game board during Scrabble. The three of them had needed to work together and it had taken a couple rounds of play for the right letters to show up. Zoey was so engrossed in the game that it took her a few beats to piece it together, even as Allison dropped to the floor in front of her while Michael tried to keep the happy tears from falling. Since then, the days had been speeding by at a dizzying pace and she felt like the big day would sneak up on her if she blinked too slowly.

They made their way through the home, cast in an amber glow from the autumn sunset, and found Michael and Calum putting the finishing touches on their typical Tuesday night dinner. Michael had always been a good cook but he’d thrown himself into more complex recipes with the extra time he had in his early retirement. The delicious aroma wafted through the open air to greet the brides-to-be as they exchanged familiar greetings with the gracefully greying men, arms held open expectantly. 

“I see someone came prepared,” Calum teased, pointing in the direction of Zoey’s wedding planning binder. “I learned from the best,” she winked in return. Calum had earned his living as an event planner before retiring to spend his days with Michael and he’d been all too eager to help out. Sometimes he was a little overzealous, especially when it came to flowers, but neither bride worried over it. He had thirty-something years of experience and they would put his expertise to good use as long as he wanted to help.

“Well? What are you waiting for? You know better than to be shy around here - dig in!” Michael’s cheerful lilt brought out a chorus of laughter as the four of them began to pile their plates high with his savory creations.

Dinner together was never dull; someone always had a story to tell. Allison was gunning for a big promotion at work while Zoey worked hard to manage the small business she started last year. Michael told of all the highs and lows in his cooking adventures that week and how he’d befriended a neighborhood cat that had appeared on their porch. Calum had warned him not to feed it but eventually found the bowl under the front steps that he’d been sneaking scraps into. In the years they’d lived together, Calum made the local farmer’s market a habit and that week Michael had finally gone with him. He should have known Calum would have everyone wrapped around his finger. He couldn’t help his amazement at the way Calum charmed all the vendors into some sort of special sale for his produce, flowers, or baked goods. He noticed that Calum was the only one who seemed to be privy to these discounts. Michael couldn’t even be upset though because Calum had gotten a beautiful sunflower bouquet just for him. Calum would never admit that he just wanted to know he still had it - whatever it was.

With four sets of hands, clean up happened quickly before the wedding binder was sprawled across the table. They spent the next few hours pouring over choices for every imaginable detail. Calum had helped them create a checklist and prioritize important items and extremely time sensitive details. They managed to cross off a few more items on the checklist before Michael decided it was time to bring out dessert - apple pie with the tart apples from the “Apple of My Pie” stall that Calum had recommended at the farmer’s market.

When she was sure Michael was out of earshot, Zoey leaned across the table to whisper to Calum. “So when are we doing this for you two?” she asked as she threw a glance at her dad’s back. Allison did her best to control her laughter at the obvious prying. Calum simply waved her off with a smile, “We’ve been together, what, twelve years? Just after you started college? I think he’s stuck with me at this point, ring or no ring.” Zoey’s inquisitive stare didn’t falter at Calum’s light humor so he continued to entertain her question with a more serious tone. “You know… we’ve talked about it but he always said he couldn’t remarry after losing your mom. I always thought I wanted a wedding, even just a small one for friends and family, but it’s one thing I won’t push him about.” Calum’s eyes were filled with adoration as they settled on Michael’s back where he stood carefully slicing the pie. “He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’ll take this in whatever way makes him comfortable, in whatever way he’ll have me.”

When he turned back to face her, to see if his answer satisfied her curiosity, her eyes were brimming with emotion and concern immediately painted his features before she spoke. “I always thought maybe he didn’t remarry because of me, because he didn’t want me to feel left behind or something. And maybe that’s selfish or strange. But I couldn’t be more thankful that he has someone as caring and thoughtful as you, Cal.” Her voice had a slight rasp to it as she swallowed down her overwhelming joy. She punctuated her sentiment by placing her hands over one of his on the table. As he sandwiched her hands between his, he told her how lucky he felt to get to spend the rest of life loving Michael and that he didn’t need a marriage certificate to do that. Allison placed a grounding hand across Zoey’s back as they all inconspicuously sat back into their seats just in time for Michael to return with apple pie and vanilla bean ice cream. If he suspected anything about the conversation between his daughter and his partner, he didn’t let on as they continued to make their way down the wedding checklist between delighted mouthfuls of pie.

The hours passed as they sat around the kitchen table picking out scripts for the invites, flowers for the ceremony, centerpieces for the reception, and favors for the wedding party. Allison stretched her arms over her head, soliciting several put off responses at the loud cracking noise her spine made. “Ew, yourself,” she joked as she rose from her spot at the table. As she moved toward the living room, she turned over her shoulder to suggest that they all take a break from hunching over the pages of options laid out in the binder. Everyone else seemed reluctant, not wanting to lose the momentum they’d already built up. Allison turned her back to them and made her way to the record player next to the couch. She carefully pulled a sleeve from the shelf and let it begin spinning before making her way back to the table where the others still sat. 

As she passed through the doorway, the beats of “Heartbreak Hotel” sounded through the room and she swung her hips wide with the best Elvis impression she could manage. The overstated moves earned a laugh from her fiancée and wolf whistles from the two men seated across from her. Allison pulled Zoey from her seat and shimmied them back into the living room for a dance break, despite Zoey’s protests that they still had several items to work through. Allison assured her that’s why she needed a dance break and that they’d get back to it as soon as the record needed to be flipped over. To Allison’s complete delight, Zoey caved and danced with her until the bluesy tune faded into a familiar ballad.

Zoey turned toward the dining room to find that Calum and Michael had followed to watch them from the safety of the door. The two men stood as if they were made to fit together. Michael’s head rested perfectly on Calum’s shoulder and his hands splayed softly across Calum’s stomach under Calum’s hands. Even so, Zoey knew she still had her dad wrapped around her finger after all these years. She put on the biggest puppy dog eyes she could manage and stretched out her arms before pleading with him, “The wedding’s still six months away, but I need to practice my dancing. Please, daddy, please.” His sheepish smile was bright in the low lamp light as he maneuvered around Calum. Michael placed a kiss to Calum’s smiling cheek as he squeezed through the door frame beside him. “You know I’ll never turn down a dance with my best girl,” he remarked as he took her in his arms. Calum, in turn, made a large sweeping motion as he bowed to Allison. “May I please have this dance?” Always a drama queen in every group. Allison laughed and took his hand, letting him lead her across the small room in an effort not to intrude on Zoey and Michael’s sweet moment.

Michael hummed along to the melody and his voice vibrated through his chest under Zoey’s head, sweeping a sense of nostalgia over her. “Dad?” she questioned as she lifted her head to look into his pale green eyes. They’d become even more pronounced over the years as the color faded from his hair, though he tried to hide behind the wide-rimmed glasses that stopped just above his full cheeks when he smiled. His eyes were slow to open and he only offered a hum in response. “What if we made this our father-daughter dance at the reception? I know it’s not a typical choice, but it would just mean a lot to me and -” Michael’s lips landed soft against Zoey’s forehead with a smile, immediately soothing her rambling mind. “I would love that, Z.”

Not trusting her mind and voice to work with her, Zoey simply nodded and nuzzled her head back into Michael’s chest, hugging him as close as possible. Michael’s smile grew as he tossed a glance across the room to where Allison and Calum swayed casually, lost in some giddy conversation if their expressions were any indication. With a contented sigh, he placed another kiss on top of Zoey’s curls. His voice was soft at first, only loud enough for Zoey to hear, but then it grew just enough to be heard over the record player as he sang.

“Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine. I'll be yours through all the years, ‘til the end of time. Love me tender, love me true, all my dreams fulfill. For, my darling, I love you and I always will.”

He couldn’t help watching Allison and Calum as they looked over fondly. Michael thought of all the times it was just him and Zoey against the world. Everything had changed so much since he lost her mom. He couldn’t believe how their little family had grown over the years and he was so proud of the life they’d made and the love they all shared. Michael tried not to let his emotions get the best of him, but he couldn’t help the crack in his voice as the last lines closed out.

———

taglist: @easierlftv @haikucal @mashlums @youngblood199456 @calumbroutledge @alltimesos @another-lonely-heart @castaway-cashton @itsjen223 @bloodyoathcal @vapor5sos​ @myloverboyash​ @justhereforcalum​ @karajaynetoday​ @spicycal​ @devilatmydoor​

[scorpio-skies]

OC as a Companion Meme!

NAME: Nora Hart

FOUND: Near Sunshine Tidings Co-Op, fighting raiders at the church. 

COMPANION PERK: The Bear Necessities - Acquire Honey the yao guai as an extra companion.  

ROMANCEABLE:  Yes 

(I was tagged for this a very long time ago, but always wanted to do it! Tagging: @eluvisen​ @mrninjapineapple​ @ariejul​ @sociallyacceptablemadness​ @lothrilzul​ @slothssassin​ @mars-colony​ @lookbluesoup​ @tarberrymentats​ @leporidaefluff​ @charomiami​ @beckiboos​ and anybody who’d like to do it! If you’ve done it before feel free to rb your original unless you wanna make another for a diff OC >:3c but no pressure at all!)

 WEAPON OF CHOICE: 

Lucky (.357 magnum revolver from FNV ;p)

Combat rifle

 I THINK WE SHOULD TRAVEL TOGETHER:

“Then let’s hit the road!” 

“Time for another adventure? Count me in!”

“You can count on me, boss!” 

“Let’s get going, then!”

“The road’s a-calling.” 

“Sounds like fun!” 

(Romanced) “Good! I was hoping for some quality time with you.”

(Romanced) “I’d follow you anywhere, love. Lead on.”

 USE MELEE:

“This is too close for comfort!” 

“Let’s hit ‘em hard and fast!” 

“Just go down already!” 

“It’s about to get messy!”

 USE RANGED:

“I’ve got your back!” 

“They won’t get past me.” 

“Nothing like a long-distance relationship!” 

“Got it!”

 OPEN INVENTORY:

“That’ll be twenty-caps. Just kidding!” 

“What do you need?” 

“Here’s what I’ve got!” 

“Sure thing -- just don’t mess up my pack.”

(Romanced) “Oh? Did you get me something nice?”

 IF OVERENCUMBERED:

“See, this is why caravans have carts and brahmin.” 

“Shame Honey isn’t here to carry that for us… / Why don’t you see if Honey’ll carry it for ya?” 

“I mean, I love junk as much as the next gal but... don’t you think you’re overdoing it?” 

“Let me carry some of that for you.” 

“You’re gonna hurt your back like that!” 

“Your pack’s gonna pop…”

 STAY CLOSE:

“I’m with you.” 

“Right beside you.” 

“I’m here.”

 KEEP DISTANCE:

“Gotcha.” 

“You got it.”

"Sure."

STEALTH:

"The sneaky way, huh?" 

"Like shadows." 

"Alright, let's go quietly." 

"They won't know what hit em." 

 BACKUP:

“Oh! Sorry."

"I'll give you some space." 

“Sorry -- don’t mean to be stepping on your toes!”

BE PASSIVE:

“Always worth negotiating!” 

“I definitely prefer talking to violence.” 

“Sounds good to me, boss. I’d prefer not to shoot if I don’t have to.” 

“Turn on the charm!” 

“You’re quite the people person.” 

“You’re a real charmer, ain’t ya?” 

(Romanced) “That’s my hero!”

 BE AGGRESSIVE:

“Just say the word, boss.” 

“I’m ready.” 

“Guess it’s too late to ask them nicely?” 

“Alright. Let’s bring the mayhem.”

“Well, if we can’t talk them down…”

 USE STIMPAK:

“Ow… thanks, boss.” 

“Ugh, needles… remind me not to get shot again.” 

“Phew that’s better.” 

“Thanks -- I’m good.”

“Back to it!”

WAIT HERE:

“Don’t go too far, okay?” 

“Alright. Hurry back before I get too bored though, yeah?” 

“Okay, I’ll be here.”

FOLLOW ME:

“Welcome back, boss!” 

“Alright, let’s get back to it!” 

“Lead on, boss. I’m with you.” 

“Glad to have you back.”

LOVER’S EMBRACE: 

“That was a good roll in the hay…” 

“Jackpot!” 

“Now that’s what I call a rodeo...”

“Morning beautiful/handsome!” 

“Could stay all day in bed with you…” 

“I love you. I want you to know that.” 

 DISMISSED:

“Well, you know where I’ll be.” 

“Alright then. Take care of yourself, boss. You know where to find me.” 

“Okay then. I’ll tell Kammie and Honey you said hi.” 

“Alright -- you be careful, though. You hear me?” 

“Time to head home then -- come and see us soon, yeah?” 

(Romanced) “If that’s what you want, just… come home safe to me, alright? I’ll be waiting for you.”

 ENEMIES (LONG RANGE)

“Today is not your lucky day!”

“You’re gonna regret this!” 

“Shouldn’t pick fights ya can’t finish!”

“Hope you’ve made your peace!”

(Raiders) “You’re not gotta loot us!”

(Raiders) “You’re not hurting anybody else!” 

(Raiders) “Time to answer for your crimes!” 

(Gunners) “Let’s teach these thugs how to shoot!” 

(Gunners) “I ain’t losing to the likes of you!” 

(Gunners) “Hope those caps were worth your life!”

(Insects) “Ugh. These things creep me out!”

(Insects) “Buzz off!” 

(Synths/Robots) “I’m gonna sell you for scrap!”

(Synths/Robots) “Time to shut you down permanently!”

(Super mutants) “Why are they always so big and angry?”

(Super mutants) “We’re not on the menu!” 

(Super mutants) “I’m not going in some meat bag!”

(Behemoth/Mirelurk Queen) “Holy shit!” 

(Behemoth/Mirelurk Queen) “The bigger they are, the harder they’ll fall!”

(Feral ghouls) “These things creep me out.”

(Feral ghouls) “Boss! Ferals!” 

(Deathclaw) “Deathclaw! Run!” 

(Deathclaw) “Deathclaw! Look out!” 

(Yao Guai) “Don’t tell Honey!” 

(Yao Guai) “I’m sorry bear!” 

(Dogs/Radstags/Brahmiluff) “God I hate having to do that.” 

(Dogs/Radstags/Brahmiluff/mole rats) “I’m sorry -- you left me no choice.”

(Critical Kill) “WOO! Nice shot!”

(Critical Kill) “Lucky hit!”

ENEMIES (CLOSE RANGE)

“Bring it!” 

“Let’s dance!” 

“Look out!” 

“They’re on us!”

(Insects) “Ugh -- I hate these things!”

(Insects) “Disgusting!” 

(Insects) “You’re really starting to bug me!”

(Synths/Robots) “Where’s the off switch?”

(Children of Atom) “Hope you said your prayers!”

(Super mutants) “Wow, you’re a big fella.” 

(Super mutants) “What do these guys eat? No -- don’t answer that.”

(Super mutants) “I am not a snack!”

(Feral ghouls) “Get away from me!” 

(Feral ghouls) “Shit!”

(Feral ghouls) “Way too close!”

(Mirelurks) “These guys sure are crabby!”

 WHEN ENTERING:

GOODNEIGHBOR

“Well, this looks like a good place to get mugged.” 

“Ah, Goodneighbor. Crime capital of the Commonwealth -- watch your back here, boss.” 

“Yeah, Goodneighbor has walls but it’s got plenty of cut-throats within them. We’ll need to watch our backs. Also our caps.” 

“Oh, boss. You always take me to the ‘nicest’ places.” 

“Is everyone’s staring at us, or is that just me?”

 DIAMOND CITY

“So, this is the great green jewel of the Commonwealth… I’ll have to get Kammie a souvenir.”

“Hey -- mind if we stop by the market? I wanna see if I can wrangle us some deals.”

“Noodles? Served by a robot? Kammie is not gonna believe this...”

“Do you think these people ever get tired of looking at the walls?” 

“So this is the infamous Dugout… You hear a lot about this place in the caravans. Home of Bobrov’s Best! Fancy getting a bottle?”

 BUNKER HILL

“These guys are miserly, even by trader standards. If you need anything, let me do the haggling, yeah?” 

“Bunker Hill’s a popular stop for caravans. Me and Kammie were planning on stopping here, but I’m not sure they’d let Honey through the gate…”

“I’ve been here before, you know. But it was a long time ago.”

 BOSTON AIRPORT

“Do you really think those wrecks could fly? I can’t even imagine what that’d be like…” 

“If we could still fly like that… think of all of the places we could see.”

(After Reveille has triggered) “Wow… Just look at that airship!”

(After Reveille has triggered) “Looks like the Brotherhood mean business. Maybe we should move on?”

(After Reveille has triggered) “I don’t really wanna tangle with the Brotherhood, boss. They’re bad for business.”

 THE PRYDWEN

“Wow -- just look at that view!”

“This ship is amazing -- and look at all the power armour!”

“Hey, do you think they’ll sell me a suit if I ask nicely?”

 THE CASTLE

“The Castle must have been a sight to see when the Minutemen were in charge. Shame about the current tenants...”

(After Castle is restored) “It’s great to see the Castle back in Minutemen hands!”

(After Castle is restored) “The Minutemen have done a great job fixing the Castle up again!.”

(After Castle is restored) “I bet the sunrise is something to see from those walls...” 

(After Castle is restored) “Me and Kammie were talking about whether we should join the Minutemen or not… do you think they accept bears?”

 QUINCY

(Before clearing Quincy) “I heard about what the Gunners did to Quincy… nothing but a bunch of murderers.” 

(Before clearing Quincy) “Look at what they did here… The Gunners are no better than raiders.”

(After clearing Quincy) “I really hope Quincy can rebuild and recover someday.” 

 THE GLOWING SEA

“So… which of us will turn ghoul first?” 

“Is there a way to turn the Geiger counter off? It keeps reminding me we’re dying and I don’t like it.” 

“This place… it’s like we’re in a nightmare.” 

“I keep seeing things moving in the fog…” 

“Do you think they really knew what they were doing when they dropped the bombs?”

“We’ll have to drink a few pints of radaway after this…”

 CONCORD

“That vertibird makes an interesting installation...”

 LEXINGTON

“I heard Lexington is overrun with ferals… are you sure we can’t go around?” 

“I feel like there’s something around every corner...”

“Why can’t the ferals just eat the raiders?”

 SALEM

“This place belongs in a horror comic.”

(Devil’s Due) “I don’t like the sound of that...” 

(Return egg to the deathclaw) “I’m proud of you, boss. Those deathclaws deserved better… now, let’s back away nice and slow and leave them to it, yeah?”

 LYNN WOODS

“Those claw marks on the rock… Deathclaw territory. Stay alert.”

“Try not to make too much noise. If a deathclaw comes after us, I don’t know if we can stop it.”

 NAHANT

“Keep an eye out. There’s a floating raider fortress nearby.”

“Caravans have disappeared around here, and the survivor stories...? They’re not good.” 

“I don’t think we’ll find anything other than crabs and scrap around here.”

“I hope there’s no big mirelurks around…” 

“What kind of maniac wants to live out by the sea, anyway? You don’t know what’s out there!”

 CAMBRIDGE

“That police station’s well fortified -- here’s hoping they’re friendly.” 

“Why is this place so quiet…? I don’t like it.” 

“I thought raiders had taken over the place… not that I’m complaining.” 

“Oh. Ghouls. God I wish it was raiders.”

 SANCTUARY

“So this is your old home, huh?” 

“We should set up a supply line between here and Sunshine! We can help each other out.” 

“This is quite a nice place!” 

 SUNSHINE TIDING’S CO-OP 

“Home sweet home!” 

“You think we can stop by for some of Kamal’s lasagne?” 

“I’ll check in on the animals while we’re here.” 

(when greeted by Honey) “Hey there, Honey bear! How’re you today?” 

“I’m gonna go check on Kammie.”

“Home is where you keep your bear!”

 AGGRESSION: not aggressive/aggressive/very aggressive/frenzied

CONFIDENCE: cowardly/cautious/average/brave/foolhardy

ASSISTANCE: helps nobody/helps allies/helps friends and allies

 LOSE AS COMPANION PERMANENTLY:

Too many dislikes

Siding with the Institute 

Choosing Institute option in personal quest 

Destroying the Railroad

Selling Billy to slavers in Kid in a Fridge

Killing Kent Connolly in The Silver Shroud

Siding with Covenant

Destroying Acadia 

Destroying Far Harbor 

Siding with the Nuka-World raiders

Raiding the Commonwealth for Nuka-World 

Bringing X6-88 near (will turn Nora, Honey and Kamal hostile) 

Attacking Honey or Kamal 

Killing Phyllis Daily 

Killing Paladin Danse in Blind Betrayal

Killing Jules in the random synth encounter

 PERSONAL MISSION: Override 

Nora can be found fighting raiders at the church near Sunshine Tidings Co-op with Kamal and Honey. After the player helps them dispatch the raiders, they introduce themselves as traders seeking a safe place to set up their business. If the player has unlocked Sunshine as a settlement, they can send them there. This unlocks Nora as a companion, and Kamal as a trader. Honey operates as a guard-bear. 

After the player unlocks the Institute for the first time, they return to Sunshine to find the settlement under attack by coursers. 

Once the coursers are dispatched, Nora and Kamal have a panicked discussion where Nora worries that the Institute is on to her. Nora and Kamal lead the player to a quiet area of Sunshine and Nora tells Kamal that she trusts the player. 

She then confesses that she’s an escaped synth, and that the coursers were after her. She doesn’t know much about her past other than her time with the caravans, but over the years has been the victim of attempted reclamation by coursers. She and Kamal returned to the Commonwealth to try and learn how to stop it. 

If the player has not taken Nora to the Railroad or discovered them, Nora and Kamal mention that they’ve heard of the Railroad and were hoping they could help them. The player can then offer to find out more. 

If the player has taken Nora to the Railroad before, she will ask the player if they can convince the Railroad to help her. 

If the player goes to the Railroad, Tinker Tom provides a holotape. If the player uses it in the Synth Retention Bureau, it wipes Nora’s record from the system as well as some other escaped synths. 

After the player wipes Nora from the Institute’s records they can assure her that she’s safe and doesn’t have to run anymore. Nora and Kamal are overjoyed that they don’t have to keep running, and they agree that they want to set up a ranch at Sunshine. 

Nora will mention that Honey’s overjoyed too and has taken a liking to the player. The player has then unlocked Nora’s perk, The Bear Necessities, and Honey shall accompany Nora when the player character recruits her. 

Honey can be ordered much the same as Dogmeat, but she has a greater carry capacity, health and damage. She can be told to stay at Sunshine. 

The player can, however, choose to instead inform Ayo of Nora’s location. 

When the player next returns to Sunshine, they’ll find Kamal waiting for them with Honey. He’s injured and frantic, informing the player that coursers took Nora. If the player admits they handed Nora over, both Kamal and Honey will turn hostile.

 If the player feigns innocence, Kamal will insist he knows something’s not right. 

If the player tries to convince Kamal Nora’s gone forever, he’ll swear to keep looking for her no matter what it takes. 

When the player returns to the Institute, Nora can be found but renamed with her synth designation, C9-42. She reacts to the player character with the same deference as other synths, but knows them only as Father’s parent. Although she has the same bland smile as other synths when talking to the player, outside of conversation she will have a sad expression.

[jtrbluv]

tag game !

tagged by the lovely linh @latetaektalk ,, thank u soso much! this was so fun omg

tagging: @allurain @koushiningg @dreamystuffers @jinpanman @dulce-pjm @suhdays @pjmsdior @bangtans-peaceful-piegon @sugacouture

1. what fandoms have you written for (but do not currently)?

um i didn't rly write for any fandoms when i was younger, but i knew my 12yo self was probably conjuring harry potter headcanons in my head D:

2. what fandoms are you currently writing for?

for now, and for a long time, i've been writing for bts. i've like always been a multi from the moment i got into kpop but i've never actually fleshed out any of the wips i had for any other groups LMFAO. honorable mentions are got7, skz, haikyuu yup

3. how long have you been writing?

a longggg time, i think. i enjoyed writing fiction as a kid a lot. most of it would be like off-brand spy kids/harry potter/hunger games type beat stuff. and it was awful. but i was literally like 9 so cut me some slackLKSDFJSLKDjf

4. on which platforms do you post your stories?

primarily tumblr and i only recently made an ao3 acc. the only fic i have on there is a tae drabble that's already posted on here LOL. i think it's 'resolutely, yours.' but i don't even remember bye. i remember i drafted drivers license on there but i literally forgot to post it so it's probably gone HAHA.

5. what is your favourite genre to write?

e2l even though i have no e2l fics on this blog i think

6. are you a pantser or a planner?

i used to never plan my fics, like at all. but then i was so unsatisfied with the flow of things and like idk lack of clarity. drivers license was the first time i actually sat down and planned out an entire fic as i was writing it. it rly does make things easier when u have an idea of what u want. and then just having the idea can help you possibly expand on it and get even better ideas off of it. the events of drivers license and the order it was all written in changed like 20394803 times. but yeah, does that make sense... LMFAO

7. one shot or multi-chapter?

one shots because i can never fucking get myself to finish a series. i love reading them tho

8. what is the perfect chapter length in your opinion?

no clue. i love long stories and slow burn tho, it's just so satisfying and $wag when it's well-written and the characters are well-written too.

9. what is your longest published story? is it complete?

the fic i'm about to post is nearing 20k, and it might even surpass that which will end up being the longest story on this blog. insane! drivers license is around 10k i think, and then if u combine the wnrs couple's fics it's like 15k? im too lazy to look tbh SRy

10. which story did you enjoy working on the most?

oh drivers license for sure! i don't think i've ever immersed myself and put so much effort into a story before. it was truly an amazing experience, and i just know that i'll probably never be able to write anything like that fic ever again. it's rly one of a kind for me.

11. favourite request you've have written and why (if any?)

most of the requests i had on this blog got taken down bc they were so bad. i'm not sure if the yoongi superhero!au is still up on here, but i'd choose that one since i really had to branch out of my writing style for it. regardless of it being like barely 2k.

12. are there reoccurring themes in your stories?

miscommunication, so much banter, i used to see this a lot but i would take it out but... head bonking ??LSKDFJHAHA, my side characters being dumbasses and then my main characters being even bigger dumbasses (oc probably being the biggest dumbass)

13. current number of wips?

during the course of writing the current fic i plan on posting this week, i created like 5 wips and they all hit 5k, and then i straight up abandoned them. and then the endless idea bank google doc. so if i count the wips i for sure want to finish by like this year or summer... like 3 or 4.

14. three things you have noticed about your own writing?

i feel like i repeat stuff a lot throughout all my stories LOL,, it irks me so bad. i think i relate to all my ocs in at least one way or another.

15. a quote you like from a published story

alrighty this is a lil snippet from 'drivers license':

this is from the second letter oc wrote to jk:

"The same delusional daydreamer hopes that one day we can talk and laugh like old pals. Like nothing ever changed between us. I hope you achieve your dreams that you always thought seem too far-fetched, yet in the back of my mind I always knew you could easily grasp. I hope someday you can live a life of lesser worries and insecurities, because you rarely had any to start off with. I always hoped the world for you, because you deserve it. And despite everything, I still believe you do."

this paragraph seems pretty simple but i think it did the best job of like describing oc's emotions and realization of things,, its kinda cliche tew yas love that

16. a quote from an unpublished story

alr this is from the e2l jimin series that is going to take me forever to write bc the outline for it is SO LONG

“Would it kill you to at least show up with a shirt on?“ You sneer, patting your forehead with the back of your hand due to the sweltering sun. The event hasn’t even started yet and you can already feel your hair sticking to the back of your neck.

Crossing his arms, he scoffs, his biceps bulging out as his arms bend. Not like you were staring at them. “Sorry couldn’t hear you, too busy boosting the school’s morale.”

17. space for you to say something to your readers

i feel like i don't show enough appreciation to my readers and mutual on this blog. i have met so many lovely people and have gotten so much support, i hope u all know that it does NOT go unnoticed. i always tend to go back and reread all the comments and asks that i get on my stories bc it rly does make my heart soar. it makes my day!!! thank u all for sticking with me thru all my 3am shitposts and inconsistent writing schedule LOL,, you all have my whole heart and some more <3

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

She is forever - Part 1

Series Masterlist - Stucky Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OC, Bucky Barnes x OC (Ophelia Wright)

Summary: When Steve and Bucky went to the army there was a girl they went to school with who wasn’t allowed to go. She was left alone and never thought about again, until Steve sees a carbon copy of her on the streets outside Stark tower and she seems to know them just a little too well to be a stranger.

Word count: 2076

Meanwhile, outside, Ophelia walks with a pace closer to running than walking. Her coat isn’t even closed yet and her scarf is on the verge of blowing off her shoulders. She is in a hurry, getting herself together and calling someone. ‘Hey, we need to talk. I think they know.‘

‘Get inside.‘ ‘Thank you.‘ Ophelia throws off her jacket and scarf, throwing them over a chair at the kitchen table. She went to the one place where she knows she’s safe. This place is Mary and Josh’s house. They are like her. They have seen the world grow, watched wars go by, and seen lovers come and go. They know how important it is to have someone you trust, even if you only get to have them for a little bit. They know how excited Ophelia was when she learned that both Steve and Bucky were still alive and understood that she wanted to be close to them even if she wasn’t able to talk to them for her own safety. Mary and Josh are a nice couple to be around and quite fun to look at. Mary grew up in the Netherlands, aka the tallest country in the world, while Josh grew up in America. Mary is over 1,80m tall while Josh barely reaches 1,75m. And on top of that, Mary likes to wear high heels as part of her “modern“ 50s aesthetic. When the fashion of that time made its break, Mary got obsessed and decided that that was the thing for her. They still live in a house that is heavily inspired by the 50s and Mary still exclusively wears clothes that she sews from patterns made in the 50s while Josh is a suits all day, sweats all night kind of man. They fit each other well. ‘Tell me,‘ Mary speaks as the kettle starts whistling. She goes to make tea for the both of them while Ophelia gets comfortable on top of the dinner table. You have floor people, you have couch people, and then you have table people. People who prefer sitting on a table over anything else. Ophelia is such a person. It frustrates Mary, but she doesn’t bother telling her to get off the table because she won’t. She never does. ‘I made a mistake,‘ Ophelia mutters, head hanging, staring straight at the floor, ‘I saw someone drop something and went to hand it back and it was Steve. I didn’t realize, but I saw in his eyes that he just... he knew.‘ ‘This can’t just be about that,‘ Mary hums, pouring the tea for both her and Ophelia, ‘you wouldn’t be this upset if it was just that.‘ She hands Ophelia the tea and finally meets her eyes. They are red and swollen, like she has been crying. ‘They know where I work now,‘ Ophelia stammers. ‘Wait, they?‘ ‘Tony Stark buys a lot of art from me and because I’m too stupid to change my name every once in a while, he knew who I was when Steve used my name and now both Steve and Bucky know.‘ A tear rolls onto her cheek as her chest starts to shudder. ‘I don’t want to disappear.‘ ‘Oh honey.‘ Mary puts her tea down on the table and wraps her arms around Ophelia to let her cry out. It had been a long time since Mary saw Ophelia cry like this. The last time had been when she first lost Bucky and Steve during the war. She had met Mary in the Dutch army and cried to her when she got the letter that confirmed their deaths. The thought of losing them again is too much for her. Ophelia knows that she has to let them go someday, when they get old. But she heard their stories. They’re not much older than they were before and they could still live a long time. She wanted to watch them life their lives and then she could say goodbye. That’s all she wanted. A proper goodbye. The front door slams closed, a loud thud is heard, and then the sound of shoes being thrown away. ‘I’m home,‘ Josh calls through the house, but his cheery attitude changes as soon as he sees Mary and Ophelia at the kitchen table. He rushes over and puts his hand on Ophelia’s shoulder. ‘What’s wrong honey? Why are you crying?‘ Mary lets Ophelia go and wipes the makeup from under her eyes while Ophelia tries to talk through sobs, but no words come out so she looks at Mary. ‘Bucky and Steve saw and recognized her,‘ Mary explains to her husband. ‘Oh, that’s not good,‘ Josh says without realizing it and hears another fit of sobs come from Ophelia. His eyes shoot back at her as he grabs both her shoulders, leaning down a little so he can look her in the eyes. ‘Hey, hey, hey, look at me sweetheart, look at me. We’ll make it work. We always do. We know how special those men are to you. We’ll figure something out. All of us together.‘

In the common room of the Stark tower, Bucky and Steve sit in front of the coffee table staring at the business card Ophelia gave them. Both of their minds are running. Should they call? Would she know? Are they giving themselve hope? Suddenly, Bucky gets up and walks away leaving Steve to struggle with his thoughts alone. He couldn’t take it anymore. The thought of meeting the Ophelia they grew up with is too painful. Especially because this isn’t her. What if she isn’t exactly like Ophelia? He would only get frustrated at the difference between them because she isn’t going to be how he hoped her to be. It’s unfair to the both of them. Steve has a different ethical situation playing in his mind. Is he obligated to grand a granddaughter stories of her grandmother if her grandmother never told her? Would their Ophelia mind that? She never wanted to be in pictures, what if she just wanted to be forgotten after she died? He’d be better of not telling her, but the granddaughter’s curiosity might change his mind. “This is Ophelia Wright speaking.“ She sounds upset, but Steve won’t mention it. He isn’t in a friendly place with her anyway, so what could he do about it. ‘Ophelia, hi, this is Steve. Steve Rogers.‘ “Oh, hi Steve. What can I do for you?“ ‘I wanted to ask you if we could get some coffee together? I am quite curious about your grandmother’s life.‘

And so Ophelia ends up in a café twiddling her thumbs and waiting for Steve. She didn’t think she’d be this nervous, but to be fair, she’s going to have to perform a whole story that isn’t true. She has to pretend she isn’t herself. Truth be told she has done it a million times, but it’s different when it’s Steve she’s talking to. ‘Ophelia?‘ She looks to her side. ‘Oh, hey Steve, how are you doing?‘ He sits down at the table with her, dressed in a T-shirt and cap, something he would’ve never been seen in back in the day. To be fair, T-shirts weren’t really in style back then. She had opted for a long sleeved, fitted blouse dress with a belt around her waist like she used to wear back then. The emerald one she decided to wear might even be from back then. She didn’t check. She should’ve checked. What if he recognizes it? ‘I’ve been doing fine,‘ he answers with a friendly smile, ‘how about you?‘ ‘I’m good. A bit tired,‘ she admits, ‘I decided to dig through some photo albums for you to see if I could find a picture of my grandmother.‘ She grabs her bag and takes out an envelope. ‘They’re not much, but I found these. I copied them, so you can keep these if you’d like. Maybe James would like to see them as well.‘ Steve takes out the pictures. The first one makes his heart drop. It’s Bucky, Ophelia, and Steve just a day before Bucky was leaving for war. In the picture, Ophelia had made Bucky lift her on top of his car and told the two of them to pose in front of her. When the picture was taken she had taken Steve’s hand to help her off and they had fallen on the ground together, after which she helped him up. All he gained from that day was a kiss on his cheek. ‘Wow, thank you so much. This is amazing,‘ Steve smiles brightly. Ophelia reads the nostalgic look in his face like a book. She knows exactly what he thinks. Those moments were the best they had ever had. The only moments that she had considered taking a picture, even if it would put her in danger. ‘You two look so much alike,‘ he says with tears in his eyes. Ophelia grabs the picture for a second and pretends to study it. ‘Honestly, I don’t see it,‘ she jokes. But her grabbing the top picture reveals the picture below it to Steve. He recognizes it right away. Bucky had taken it when Ophelia had convinced them to go skinny dipping one drunken night. In the picture, she’s on Steve’s back with her arms wrapped around his neck, completely naked. ‘Oh, shoot,‘ Steve mutters and Ophelia sees a blush appear on his cheeks as he quickly flips to the next picture. The picture is even worse and Steve recognizes it right away. It’s the picture Ophelia gave Bucky “to masturbate to“ when he was stuck with other soldiers. Steve had stood right next to them when she gave it to Bucky. He swallows heavily while Ophelia giggles. ‘My grandma was a handful, wasn’t she?‘ ‘I’m sorry, but why would you give me these?‘ ‘Because all of them were in an envelope that had your name on it,‘ Ophelia tells him, ‘I’m guessing she wanted you to have them, but never got around to giving them to you.‘ ‘But what about this one,‘ he shows the last photo to Ophelia, ‘she gave this one to Bucky.‘ ‘Not exactly,‘ Ophelia smiles and pulls the originals out of her bag, ‘I knew you’d ask because of the writing on the back. So this one was for Bucky and this one was for you.‘ She gives him both the pictures to read the writing on the back, pretending like she didn’t write the raunchy text on the back herself. She knows why she did it. She was planning to disappear when Steve and Bucky deployed. She stayed because Steve didn’t get in. If he hadn’t, she would’ve given him his picture and leave to another country that next day. ‘Can I take pictures of the writing?‘

“Dearest Bucky. When the nights get cold and the boys start looking attractive, see this as a tool to keep your sanity and think of home. I’ll still be there when you get back. I promise, Ophelia.“ Bucky reads the text of his old photo of Ophelia out loud to Steve. ‘So what does yours say?‘ “Dearest Steve. I know tenderness is your trademark, but when you give into your vices I hope you’ll think of me. See this as a little push to your corruption. Love, Ophelia.“ Bucky smiles, looking through the pictures Steve had taken with him. ‘You know what strikes me as strange,‘ Bucky says, ‘from the way you talk about this girl, it seems like she knows us better than we know ourselves.‘ ‘She said her parents used to call her an old soul,‘ Steve says as rebuttal. ‘Old soul is one thing, knowing someone you never met is another.‘ ‘What are you suggesting?‘ Steve leans back on the couch looking awfully aware of the delusional suggestion Bucky is about to give, knowing that it will hurt the both of them if they get it in their head. ‘What if she’s like us,‘ he says. ‘What?‘ ‘What if she was frozen too? She used to hang out with us all the time, we know how agile she is and that she has a good set of brains,‘ Bucky rambles, ‘what if they thought they could preserve her for a project as well and just threw her out after messing with her head like they did to me?‘ ‘Bucky, I-‘ ‘But what if.‘ Steve shakes his head. He thought he was getting emotional, but he hasn’t seen Bucky this fired up in years. Ophelia was a great friend to them, but he never imagined she meant this much to Bucky. ‘You’re going to get hurt if you keep thinking like that.‘ ‘I know, but sometimes the world is prettier in my head.‘

[discoveringenterprise]

“RYAN WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO?!” and other shit you might wonder

First off: I am so sorry for disappearing off of the face of the earth oh my god

Second off: I’m going on an indefinite hiatus as of Sundayish. Yes, you read that right, an indefinite hiatus. All the content on the blog will stay for our enjoyment, and I fully authorize use of my gifs anywhere and everywehre

Third off: if you’re struggling rn, shit gets better, PLEASE trust me on this.

TLDR of this post; I got better, so can you, and I’m heading out.

ENT GC: let me know if you want admin. Do what you want with the blog, and if you wanna make a new group chat, please do so since I won’t be around to add people.

How can I contact you/get your contact info before you go? Dallyn and Daphne have my contact info so if you ever need to reach me and I’m gone... yeah. Like I said, I’ll be heading out Sundayish, so I’ll periodically log in here if you wanna talk to me/get my info before I go.

What’s your actual name? That... that’s a long story, too. LMAO. Especially if you know me. DM me for the story if you know me.

Why are you leaving? So, as you guys know, I started college, which is completely and utterly whack. Everything is changed, everything is different and I have friends now? Like, WTF. I’ve been so wrapped up in work it took me forever to get on here after Dallyn texted me “your account got hacked” so... oops. I let everyone into the ent gc (oh my GOD i look back at that and have a love/hate relationship with it!) and let me know if you figure out a way to make admins on it??? I’m confused AF.

I’m going to be focusing off college and staying off Tumblr for a while. It was 2 am technically today and I was reading all my old posts like “jfc I was so depressed???” and now I’m just... not. I made friends, real friends, over the summer. People who understand and get it (and yes some of them are ent stans.)

Why did you disappear in May and why are you leaving again? Shortly put, and I don’t mean to sound mean, I made real friends. Real as in I will physically interact with them in real life (aka college friends). I kind of weaned off Tumblr slowly, and only kept going back for the ent gc (I LOVE YOU GUYS THOUGH!!!). And it kinda became a drag.

When I came back to Tumblr, it was like late January and early February. I’d just got out of the Instagram rping world and was so tempted to start one here, but I was scared and intimidated, and I’m glad I didn’t. Breaking off rp was the best thing I’d ever done for myself, and the best thing that this toxic girl ever did for me. My shitty mental health had been kinda dependent on this rp, it’s hard to explain, but I was being a jerk and kinda had been since freshman year with projecting my feelings onto my character’s and blurring the lines far too much between me and her. She was (and is!) still hella overpowered, hella perfect, and something that would absolutely never happen in canon.

Honestly, this whole situation was basically the lyrics to the song Clarity ft. Foxes by Zedd. I love that song, go give it a listen.

Point being, I got myself off of that once I realized. The problem had started in January 2017, ran through October 2017, and then took a hiatus until junior year but only started to really manifest itself in February 2019. And honestly, mainly when school started back, in September/October 2019 and lasted until January 4 when she and I had our last fight. (She messaged me again, later- here- and since making that post, we’ve ended things on neutral terms.)

So I came here. Tumblr. I’d been here in 2017 right after the OTHER rp ended, and I think Tumblr became my new outlet then, too. I was a baby in the middle of my freshman year then. And then there I was, coming full circle. As a senior in high school. I read all of my old posts about how I’d never make it, and there I was. I’d made it. The end of HS was in sight.

I straight up vibed through all of May. Now, I was slowly making friends in college already, but it only really took off in April and May, which is when I left. I focused more on those, building those connections. I loved you guys on Tumblr, I still do, but I was definitely going to meet these college friends. And as I pulled my head out of Tumblr, I got a job, an actual paying job , in June- and I was already gone.

As I looked back on my posts last night/this morning I was thinking “oh my GOD what the fuck” because jfc, Tumblr had turned into the place where I vented. And then as I got through the months, I became happier. The pandemic was around, duh, and I didn’t have as much school stressing me out, there wasn’t as much craziness around. I was free, I didn’t have people from high school to deal with, and I got better on my own.

YEAH, I was talking to a college guy. And yeah, that was nice, but it was more of a side thing. He was my friend, and he played me, but I learned to be myself. Learned to love Enterprise wildly and give absolutely no fucks.

And it is oh so nice to give zero fucks. It’s an amazing feeling. I hope everyone gets there someday. And yeah, I’ve had moments where people don’t like me, and moments where I’ve felt down, depressed. That’s not saying life is always perfect 100% of the time.

But what I’m trying to say is: it gets better. And to me, Tumblr was like a crutch. Sometimes you need it to help you stand, but when you think you always need it, and can stand on your own, that’s where the problem is. In May, I became confident enough to let the crutch go. And I’m thankful that I did that.

I still love you guys, everyone reading this post, the people that know me and are going to miss me. It’s not that I hate this website or anything- I just stopped using it as a crutch, you know?

Where can I read this crazy fanfic? DM me, haha. It’s the classic “self-insert but NOT a self-insert” fanfiction originating form a fifth grade idea, reformatted by my depressed fourteen-year-old self. And I wouldn’t change it for the world. Yes, it’s Star Trek.

I also have one for the girl’s relative, too, which IMO is much better. She’s less overpowered, more of a real human being.

So why mention the fanfic and RP? It’s weird; I’ve come full circle. I wanted to be this perfect girl, and then I planned how she’d finish her story (and I’m finishing it. I am, I promise, because she’s a part of me that I wouldn’t trade for anything). As I’ve taken a break from the E/AP-verse (my public nickname for it haha, someone found out here) I’ve realized again, I came full circle.

All I wanted back then was to be happy and I thought a guy would do it. Popularity, a bunch of friends, a “hot body” (btw FUCK BODY SHAMING and you’re all perfect) and all that BS that the media tells you. What really gives you happiness (or at least me)? Confidence. The fact that I know I have friends I can count on here. Yeah, a relationship is nice, but complete yourself before you get into one.

And when I planned my OC’s ending back in February, that’s what she got. She’s married in my head now, to her (and my!) perfect guy, but the important part is that she’s happy, and she’s herself before she got married. Before she got in her relationship.

So, yeah. I think that covers it. In all honesty, if you have more questions, send them to the ask box and I’ll tag them and all this as “ry’s goodbye” and update my nav page. It’s 12:39 AM so please excuse any typos!

Bye, guys. For now, at least.

I love you.

[twistedsinews]

Questions for an Author

Tagged by @chyrstis and @guileandgall

Tagging... @corpsebrigadier, @gatticus,  @faejilly, @ anyone who wants to do the thing!  <3

Name: FireEye

Top 5 Fandoms Written: I'm sitting here not knowing the answer to this question, so.  *shrug?*  All of them.  By numbers I have no idea (my fics are scattered across the internet, and my personal are behind in updating), by word count even more difficult for me to determine, by how much fun I've had?  *hands!*  Saints Row is probably up there, Cyberpunk is ticking up, can I count the Final Fantasy metafandom as one or is that too much?  :P

Top 5 Fandoms You Want To Write For/More: Moon Hunters, Ultima, Final Fantasy V, Trials of Mana, and what else am I gonna do with all of these Cyberpunk feels?

Stories You Wish More People Knew About: So I just took a glance at my AO3 stats, and... a lot of my stories are doing as well as could be expected, particularly for how many tiny, tiny fandoms I write in?  Granted, some of them have been there for a good long while.  But...

1. I remain stupidly proud of Thalassophobia

2. I still love the adventurous theme of Frightful Tides of Smoke and Ash.

3. To Catch a Thief got plenty of love, but I am still amazed at how it turned out and yet fuck that tense in particular, omfg.

Ship(s) Written The Most: No actual clue.  AO3 gives me Faris/Butz, but I think I've surpassed that with V/Jackie alone in the past month, so.  *sideeyes*

Character(s) Written The Most: See above, re: clue.  Per AO3, Butz, Faris, and Gat are tied for 15 each.  XD

How Many OCs Do You Have: At least 24 I can count off memory, some more developed than others, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some and there've been some I've misplaced over the years. (Tabletop characters, etc.)  Not counting random characters I develop solely for the sake of plot, or characters from original works.

How Many Series Do You Have: ehhh.  On AO3?  One, properly.  It has the prologue of an old WiP in it that was supposed to be 1 of 4, and nothing else.  I could probably gather quite a few of my oneshots into series, but I’d have to sort them out.  Other than that, I have two series in progress (sort of), one being the one on AO3 as already mentioned that I plan to revisit and finally write out in its entirety and one being my Ultima thing.

What Do You Do With Fics You’re No Longer Interested In? It's less I'm not longer interested and more I get easily distracted by bright shiny objects.  Anything I haven't finished stays in my WiP folder, under the completely reasonable assumption that I'll finish them all eventually someday.  :P

Coming Soon: uh... cheesy confessions, Nomad!V's living in an apartment hijinks, T-Bug~♥, Kidnappings (plural apparently), The Quest of the Avatar (I've been saying for years), and a (one (1)) metric fucktonne of fix-it fic.

Not yet started? All of the above, and then some.  Keep in mind: I write most things in one sitting.  (Which is part of why I don't have that many longer fics to my name).

...actually, that's not the entire truth - I've had small snippets of my Ultima saga on paper for a decade or more and have bits of dialogue and "[premise]" stuff thrown into files for later.  It's just... not really started more than what's in my head, you know?

Line From A WIP: “Hath no one ever shown you compassion before?”

Do You Accept Prompts? ...yes?  I don't think I've ever gotten any when I wasn't explicitly asking for them or reblogging a prompt list, but *shrug?*  I will happily take prompts.  XD

How Do You Feel About Kudos? I do not in fact think Kudos are single-handedly responsible for the decline of comments on fanfics or comment culture in general, and I think they are a perfectly fine way of saying 'I liked the thing!' if you have nothing more of which to comment.  I have seen people talk about kudos that make me second guess, and I get a little irrationally worried when I get comments without kudos, but ultimately I try to trust that it's basically a like button and I am fine with that.  In short: I like them.

Do You Read Fic As Well?  Yes, although not as much as I used to.  Like, back when I'd go through pretty much anything that looked as though it would fit my fancy in any fandom I happened to enjoy so extensively that I'd not have anything left to read.  Recently, I've been reading mostly fic I get in exchanges or that I've prompted on Tumblr and not really that much else.  It's something of a dumb egotistical anxiety thing, though: I read other people's stuff and get self conscious about my own writing, feel super uncreative, my capacity to actually sit down and write feels inhibited, and/or I feel like I'm going to plagiarize something by accident (which I don't think is as far fetched as it sounds, how awkward - my creative brain gets stuck on weirdly specific things at random and doesn't always keep in mind where it got them from) or someone will think I got the idea from [already known fic].  It makes me sad I've fallen so far away from it, because reading fic is something I enjoy deeply, but... that's why I'm trying to make an effort to get back to it.

[songtoyou]

Chapter Two: Never Enough

Would You Call That Love

Pairing: Chris Evans x Raina Morrison (OC) 

Rating: PG to PG-13 (Might be 18+ for some chapters)

Description: There was always one person Chris Evans tended to turn to when he was not in a committed relationship, Raina Morrison. He could confide in her about things going on in his life that he did not feel comfortable talking to his family or close friends about. Chris and Raina were able to establish a way to communicate with one another openly but also being respectful of the other’s time and needs. It was the only constant “relationship” he had, but without all the nonsense of trying to build a life together. A “friends with benefits” situation. However, what happens when Chris starts rethinking his “relationship” with Raina and if either is willing to pursue something more?

Chapter Rating: PG with mild swearing

Warnings: None

Word Count: 3,630

Author’s Note: I hoped those who ‘liked’ the previous chapter enjoys this one as well. I went back and made one little change in the first chapter. No longer is Raina a fan of the Seattle Mariners or Seattle Seahawks, but a Mets/Giants fan. Instead of having Raina grow up in Washington State, she grew up in New York on Long Island. It just made more sense location-wise for her to “closer” to Chris. I also changed something that happened during the summer of 2016 that involved another MCU actor. Let me know what you think. Feedback is always welcomed.

Sadly, I do not know Chris Evans or anyone in his family, and this is just a fictional take on his life. I do not permit this fic to be reposted on other platforms. 

Thank you to @southerngracela​ for your support! :)

*Updated for grammar edits.

July 2019

"Christopher Robert Evans! Come here!" yelled his mother, Lisa Evans.

"What, Ma?" Chris asked when he entered her kitchen and replied, "Whatever happened? I assure you that it was Scott who did it."

"Would you stop? You aren't in trouble. Sit down for a sec." Lisa told her oldest son. 

Taking a seat at the kitchen table next to his mother, Chris asked, "Why are you on the laptop? You hate using the computer."

"I do, but you need to send Raina some flowers to celebrate her big opening night on Broadway. You were planning on getting her something, right?" inquired Lisa as she turned the laptop over to Chris for him to look through different flower arrangements. 

"Uh…I don't know, Ma. I am sure you will pick out something great."

Lisa gave Chris a knowing look and said, "Chris, you spend more time with Raina than the rest of us. You know her likes and dislikes. Now come on, look at the arrangements and pick which one she would like best."

Chris groaned and turned away from his mother to roll his eyes. His mother's behavior was not unusual to always insinuate that Raina was more than a friend to Chris. Well, she was, but that did not mean his mother had to know all of the dirty details. Despite what people might think of the confessed mama's boy, Chris did not always share everything with Lisa.  

"Don't get her flowers…" Chris began, but Lisa cut him off.

"Chris! Why not?"

"It would be better to get Raina chocolate, cookies, or brownies. Something edible. Just not cupcakes because she doesn't like them. Call them overrated. Trust me. She'd prefer to have food over flowers," informed Chris.

"Great. You choose something for Raina while I give Carly a call. Choose something good," Lisa ordered as she got up from the table and exited the kitchen. 

As Chris perused the website's items, he knew what to get Raina when he saw the object: a personalized gigantic caramel toffee fortune cookie. It was perfect. Not only was it giant, but it was dipped in decadent caramel with fatty toffee bits sprinkled on top and drizzled with dark chocolate. Raina would love it. 

"Ma! Come here and look at this! What do you think?"

Lisa entered the kitchen once again. She was still talking on the phone with Carly.

"Chris, whatever you get, Raina, it will be great."

"What should I put on the card since it is from all of us?" asked Chris with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

"No. Just have it be from you. Scott and I already picked out a nice flower arrangement from the two of us for Raina," Lisa informed Chris nonchalantly and added, "Carly is wondering if you could watch the kids this weekend?"

Chris was amazed at his mother's crafty scheme. She had that way about her. 

"I'll text her that it isn't a problem, and I know what you are doing."

Lisa feigned an innocent look. "What are you talking about?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out an exasperated sigh, Chris said, "Ma, it isn't like that with Raina, okay. We are just friends. Nothing more. We can't be anything more. It would ruin what we have already. Plus, we both don't necessarily want the same things. She has shared with me that she doesn't see herself having kids. I want kids, someday." 

Lisa put her hands up in mock defeat. She was not going to press Chris press about his hidden feelings for Raina. He was an adult, after all. However, as a mother, it was hard not to step in and help her children no matter what they were dealing with at the time. 

"Just be sure to write something heartfelt and sweet in the gift message," ordered Lisa and got up once again left the kitchen.

Now alone, Chris looked over the textbox space to put his message for Raina's gift. He typed and retyped what to write to her. Taking a deep breath, Chris let his inhibitions go and proceeded to write honestly about how he felt.

Raina,

You bring so much joy and love to my existence. I know it would not be the same If I did not have you in my life. You help keep me centered in this crazy world of ours, and I always know I can count on you if I need anything. I am so proud of you. Your determination, hard work, and motivation in achieving your dreams have always inspired me. Sometimes I wished you could see yourself through my eyes because then you would realize how special you are to me. I hope you know much. I appreciate and love you so much.

Love,

Chris

With the gift now ordered and soon to be on its way, there was no going back. 

"1, 2, 3, and 4! Turn! Kick leg up! Cross and dip!" shouted the choreographer and added, "Let's do it again from the top!"

Trying to catch her breath, Raina got back into position next to her co-star, Aaron Tveit. The two have been working on this project for the past three years. It amazed them both how everything started at a workshop lab, to a small theater production in Boston, to debut the show on Broadway. It was a dream come true for everyone involved. 

For Raina, it was a check-off on her list of career accomplishments. While Raina had been offered different roles for Broadway productions in the past, she never accepted the offers. She was either too busy promoting and touring for her albums. Or the parts offered merely did not appeal to her. Raina was cautious about particular projects and took her time in making decisions on which to pursue or decline. That would often lead to arguments with people at her record company or management as one or the other would tell Raina that she was not reaching her full potential as a star. But the Long Island native never wanted to be "famous for being famous." She was not the type to freely give out information about her private life to maintain relevancy with the press or fans. She wanted her work to speak for itself.  

A child prodigy gifted in music, Raina has set her sights on impacting the world through song. Her parents, George and Marie, often worried about the precocious little girl when she would hold herself up in her room for hours and hours a day practicing on her guitar or keyboard while jotting down lyrics.

When Raina was 14 years old, she was discovered by her first manager, Jerry Sullivan, at the annual New York State Fair. Jerry was taken aback by the young girl's mature voice as she sang Reba McEntire's classic hits, "Why Haven't I Heard from You" and "Fancy." He immediately introduced himself to Raina and her parents.

Although skeptical, both George and Marie agreed to a formal meeting with Jerry to discuss their daughter's future. After all, they did not want their only child to get screwed over by some conman. Thankfully, Jerry turned out to be legit and had been in the music industry for 20 years as an artists and repertoire (A&R) personnel at Columbia Records.

"Not many talented singers I have seen in all my years in the music have what Raina has. She has 'it' and could go far," said Jerry.

"Oh, I don't want to be famous," little Raina spoke up and continued, "I just want to make music."

Jerry just beamed with happiness, "That is a great answer, little one. You have your priorities. That is important in this industry. You don't ever want to lose sight of why you started in the first place."

"Trust me, I won't," replied Raina with a toothy smile.

Unfortunately, it was hard to remain authentic in the music industry. Too many times, someone would try to mold Raina into who they thought she should be. She never wanted to be placed in a box or confined to one style of music. All Raina ever wanted to be was Raina.

"1, 2, 3, and 4! Turn! Kick leg up! Cross and dip!" repeated the choreographer, "Great job, everyone. Let us take a ten-minute break. Raina and Aaron, they need another costume fitting."

"I swear, I am at a point where I could do the choreography in my sleep," Aaron joked as he walked with Raina to the fitting area.

Raina let out a chuckle, "Isn't that the truth."

With rehearsals finally coming to an end for the day, Raina gathered her belongings, said her goodbyes, and headed home. Thankfully, her Tribeca apartment was only 15 minutes away from the Al Hirschfeld Theatre. Frank, Raina's driver, greeted her as he opened the black Cadillac Escalade's back door.

"How were rehearsals today, Miss Raina?" 

"Not too bad," Raina shared with her driver, "I think once the show is finally open to the public, everything will be…a lot easier to handle."

"You're going to be great. The previews of the show went very well, as you mentioned," Frank reminded Raina and asked, "Who you got coming to see you on opening night? I'm taking my wife and youngest daughter to see it before she heads off to school in late August."

It was not uncommon for Frank and Raina to have an easy rapport with one another. Frank was a talker, while Raina was quieter and preferred to listen to his stories about growing up in Queens or his family that consisted of a loving wife and three daughters. Despite enjoying Frank's company, Raina knew that she still had to keep herself wary and not allow herself to be caught off guard. Sadly, her past experiences when allowing others into her world, both private and public, left her feeling burned. Raina learned how to be a master at changing the subject from herself to the other person prying into her personal life. 

"Aw! That is wonderful. Where is Alisha headed off to again? Cornell?" asked Raina while thinking, 'Hook line and sinker.'

"Brown University in Providence. Got a full academic scholarship."

"That's wonderful. At least your daughter won't be too far from home. I kind of wish I went to college but never had the time with everything else going on."

"Oh, come on now. I'd say you turned out well. Not everyone needs to go to college to be successful. With Alisha, she always had her sights on pursuing a career in archaeology. By attending Brown, she will have access to the best research and educators the country has to offer."

"Well, if she is anything like her father, then she's got the charms to take the world by storm."

When Frank finally reached the building of Raina's apartment, he proceeded to step out to open her door, but she stopped him and said, "I got it, Frank."

"You sure?" he questioned. 

"Yeah. Tell your wife and daughter I said 'hello.' Bye, Frank. See you tomorrow."

"Okay. Have a nice night, Raina."

Upon entering the apartment building, Raina was greeted by the concierge, Winston.

"Hi, Winston. How are you?" asked Raina to make polite conversation as she strode into the lobby.

"Very well, ma'am. Thank you for asking."

Raina cringed at being referred to as "ma'am" despite being two-decades younger than Winston; however, she knew he was only polite and professional. Stopping by to check her mail at the cluster of mailboxes, there was only advertisements and bills. Closing the mailbox with a loud sigh, Raina walked towards the elevator to head up to her penthouse apartment. 

The Tribeca apartment was such a great find as the penthouse had its own intimate and homey feel. The condo's main floor greeted guests with an open space kitchen-living room area with a fireplace and powder room. Floor-to-ceiling arched windows dominated the living room, allowing natural light to seep through in the morning and afternoon. Overall, it was ample space for when Raina wanted to entertain her close friends. She was able to accommodate overnight guest stays with two sky-lighted bedrooms with one main bathroom. One floor up was where the master suite was located with floor-to-ceiling French doors that led to a landscaped terrace that included a hot tub, outdoor kitchen, along with fantastic sunset and nighttime views of the Tribeca skyline. 

It was a place where Raina felt at home and safe from the prying eyes of the paparazzi or overzealous admirers. Thankfully, the majority of Raina's fans respected her privacy and knew the importance of boundaries.

Unfortunately, only Raina's name was associated with fellow celebrities that things could get out of hand and overrun with speculations. For instance, in the early years of her friendship with Chris, both fandoms speculated if they were more than friends. Whereas with the media, they were relentless in their prying for more information about the two stars. Luckily, it was a dilemma that the two friends worked hard to overcome. The bond that grew between Chris and Raina was not something either experienced with other people. It was unique in how relatively normal both felt around each other. There were no pretenses the friends had to follow or any egos getting in the way. 

Sad that the same could not have been applied to Raina's last relationship. The media scrutiny and the online abuse/harassment from the actor's fanbase became too much for Raina to handle that she eventually had to end the relationship prematurely. It was not something that she wanted to do as she cared for the man very much. He was sweet, charming, handsome, and treated Raina with respect. He became someone Raina could confide in outside of her inner circle. She was lucky to have met him at President Barack Obama's final White House Correspondents' Dinner back in April 2016. 

'What might have been? Where would my life be if I had stayed with Tom?' Raina often thought.

After taking a quick shower, Raina changed into baggy sweats and a fitted tank top. Stretching out on the couch, she searched through Netflix and selected season five of Schitt's Creek to watch. It was her go-to show that she liked to watch at the end of the day. The crazy antics of the Rose family always helped her relax and ease her anxious mind. 

"Oh, David Rose, you are a precious little bean, wrapped in uncertainty and apprehension about the world, aren't you? I connect with you on a spiritual level," Raina commented to herself.  

Chris was a bag of nerves ever since he ordered Raina that gift. It was not so much the gift that was causing him to have anxiety, but the message inside the present. 

He let it all out in that gift message and was mostly worried about what Raina would make of his words. For instance, would she read them and express the same sentiment, revealing that Chris's feelings were more profound than mere friends. However, what if Chris's words caused her to be upset and that she would not be able to return his feelings in fear of losing their friendship. 

'Or she just doesn't love you the way you might want her to,' thought Chris apprehensively.  

Now, Chris was beginning to worry that he might have overstepped his boundaries with Raina. 'Why did you have to go and develop deeper feelings for her. I knew our whole friends with benefits wasn't a good idea. 

Nothing good ever comes from that arrangement,' he scolded himself while taking Dodger out for a walk on his property. Chris hoped that the cool night air would help relieve the tension and worry he was feeling. It was either a walk or a cigarette, and he promised both his mother and Raina that he would no longer partake in the nasty habit. 

The dynamic of Chris and Raina's friendship was a unique one. She was one of the very few that Chris allowed in his world. Over the years, Raina had become acquainted with his close friends from Massachusetts and individual family members outside of his mother, father, brother, and sisters. It was not unusual for Raina to attend one of his Uncle Mike's campaign rallies. That always got the fans on social media talking and wondering if there was something more than friendship between the two. 

Chris and Raina's responses were always the same, "We are just friends." It was their go-to answer for years.

It was not until mid-2014 when they decided to add a new element to their friendship: sex. 

What started as a fun hookup turned into a full-fledged agreement. For Chris, it was liberating to be with someone sexually with no strings attached. For Raina, she felt safe and comfortable with Chris. There was genuine respect and trust the two had for one another that when sex added to the mix, it did not cause a lot of complications, surprisingly. They took the time to set guidelines and go over expectations that both could abide by and not ruin the aspect of their friendship. 

Their guidelines included:

Be transparent with one another as possible. Be open to compromises.

Be open to communicating with your partner.

Never be judgmental.

Be open about what is off-limits and what is acceptable. 

Conversations or decisions cannot be one-sided.

Make sure each partner is on the same page.

Check-in with one another. Ask each other about how things are going and how the individual is feeling about the arrangement.

Develop a PR strategy for when friends or family members ask questions about the status of your relationship.

Ground rules: staying over is optional, breakfast in the morning is acceptable, no booty calls as it demeans the overall friendship, and friend-dates are suitable.

Even when Chris was in a serious relationship with Minka or Jenny, he could revert to his non-sexual friendship with Raina. Chris never quite understood how Raina could adapt so quickly whenever he had a new romantic partner. He honestly would not know how he would react if Raina showed up one day with a boyfriend on her arm. 

'Liar! You'd flip your shit!' Chris thought, which he did when Raina was rumored to be dating fellow MCU actor Tom Hiddleston back in 2016. Both had been photographed together numerous times during outings and events.

'Six-months of Hell,' Chris bitterly referred that time. 

The crazy thing about that time is that Raina did not share anything with him about her relationship with Tom. She kept it all to herself even after they broke up. 

"Why does she keep that part of her life secret from me?" Chris asked himself as he walked up the steps on his front porch with Dodger following suit.

"Because it is none of your business how Raina's relationships go down," a voice spoke up, startling Chris.

"Holy shit, Scott! What the fuck are you doing out here?" yelled Chris as he stood in front of his little brother. 

Scott replied with a shit-eating grin on his face, "Just getting some fresh air and enjoying the sunset. What have you been up to?"

"Don't change the subject. Why do you automatically assume I am talking about Raina? For all you know, I could have been referring to Shanna," Chris retorted back defiantly as he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the porch railing. 

However, Scott was not falling for what his brother was trying to sell. "Don't bullshit a bullshitter, Chris," Scott reprimanded and continued, "I know you and Raina have had a friend with benefits situation going on for the last five years. Of course, only when neither of you was in relationships with other people, that is."

"How the fuck did you know about that?" questioned Chris. His eyes looked like they were about to pop out of his head.

"Well, I had my speculations, but your reaction just now confirmed everything. What the fuck were thinking. Nothing good comes out of a friend with benefits relationship. Hell, I could have told you that while also saving you the eventual heartbreak that will eventually happen. So again, I ask, what the fuck were you thinking?" 

Letting out a huge sigh, Chris moved to sit next to Scott on the porch swing. "I was thinking…that this is someone who I love and care about, you know. At first, the arrangement was, I don't want to say that it was just for fun. With Raina, it felt like a natural progression for our friendship. I don't know. I guess maybe…"

"You hoped that it could turn into something more down the road," Scott finished for his brother. 

"Yeah. I felt we were getting to that point, but Raina kept pulling back, you know. Like, she was too scared to move in that direction with me,' Chris confessed as he leaned back on the porch swing. 

Scott continued to stare at Chris as he contemplated what to say next. He felt terrible for his older brother and realized Chris's dilemma.

"I wish I could give you some sage advice, but honestly, I am at a loss on what you should do. Raina is special to you. To all of us. But, no one can deny that she has always had a little hold on your heart. The sad thing is that I don't think the poor thing fully understands the effect she has on you. All I can say is to tread carefully. Don't do anything rash," advised Scott and got up to go into the house.

'Too late.' Chris thought to himself. 

"Fuck it! I need a cigarette." 

[peterman-spideyparker]

Writing Challenge!!

Hello, everyone!! I know people usually do writing challenges when they hit certain follower counts as celebrations, but I figured that since I always seem to hit milestones at inconvenient times and can never really celebrate them with you guys, I might as well do one to kick off the new year!! I’ve been wanting to do one of these for a long time, and it feels great to finally put one together!

The Rules:

-You don’t have to be following me, but it’d be cool if you did (yay new friends!!)

-It would be great for you to reblog this post to signal boost it so this doesn’t totally flop!

-Send me an ask with the prompt you want and who you plan on doing it with. Right now, I’d only like one prompt per person to be taken so there’s enough for other people to choose from. If I need to add more, I will, and if there are ones left over and no one takes then, snatch them up!

-Please, only take what you can do!

-Write for whichever MCU character your heart desires! Please no RPFs (real person fictions), no Thor x Loki, Tony x Peter, etc.

-OFCs welcome! But if you want to do character x reader, go for it!

-Go for any genre you like, just give proper warning and tag appropriately.

-NO UNDERAGE SMUT/INCEST/PREDATORY/NON-CON/DUB-CON

-It can be a one shot, series, whatever. If it’s over 300 words, I ask that you use the reed more insert, please.

-Please make it known when you post what your prompt was. It can be a mention with an author’s note or in bold italics in the fic.

-Tag @peterman-spideyparker and use #peterman-spideyparker2020 and #kristen2020 when you post please!

-I don’t really want to set a deadline cuz I know things can happen and throw people off, but if all the prompts that get taken could be posted by June 13, that’d be nice. (Yes I picked June 13 on purpose, whether I did it for Chris Evans’ birthday or my half birthday, that’s for you to decide).

-HAVE FUN!!!!!

Prompts:

“No, I’m not letting you go. It’s too early to get out of bed.” @lovesmesomehiddles​ w/ Loki x OFC

“C’mere, you can sit in my lap until I’m done working.”

“Shh, you’re safe. I won’t let you go.” @agentdaisyj​ w/ Karolina x Nico (Runaways)

“Old age seems to get the better of us.”

“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.” @wordynerdygurl​ w/ Loki x Reader

“I’m not going to leave you. You’re never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise.”

“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone.” @he-is-chaotic-she-is-psychotic​ w/ Clint Barton x Reader

“If I could, I would kiss away all of your scars.” @catsladen w/ Stephen Strange x Reader

“I think I might be falling in love with you.” @brekkingthebedwithbuckybarnes​ w/ Bucky Barnes x OC

“Everyone deserves a second chance.”

“You can’t keep it all inside, you know? Bottling it up won’t do any good.” @randomparanoid​ w/ Bucky Barnes x Reader

“Hey, I know you’re hurting . . . but, you’re not alone, okay?” @nekoannie-chan​ w/ Brock Rumlow

“I hate you! I’m sorry it took me so damn long to realize that.”

“You lost your chance.”

“You can’t just lose your temper like this every time you get a bit upset!”

“Don’t look at me like that.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I hope someday you get a taste of your own medicine.”

“Go on then, tell me. Tell me you don’t love me.” @from-hel-i-with-love​ w/ Tony Stark

"I wish I could forget I ever met you.”

“I think you’ll be happy to know that I’m not wearing any underwear.”

“Oh don’t mind me. Just enjoying the view.” @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ w/ Bucky x Reader

“It’s like you want to ruin men/women for me.” @justkending​ W Bucky x Reader

“Did you just . . . finish?”

“I don’t like being told what to do unless I’m naked.”

“Damn. You clean up good.”

“Did I just say that out loud?” @just-the-hiddles​ w/ Loki x Reader

“Did I stutter?”

“Did you enjoy yourself last night?”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“Who said we were pretending?” @hopelessromanticspoonie​ w/ Loki

“Did you just . . . moan?”

“I suggest you wipe that grin off your face.”

“Get over yourself, you’re not that great.”

Tagging some people who might be interested: @just-the-hiddles​ @vodka-and-some-sass​ @captnrogers​ @connerkennt​ @sociallyawkwardbeanwhowrites​ @omg-imagine​ @majesticavenger​ @blacksuitofdoom​ @stuckonjbbarnes​ @lady-loki-ren​ @scottishaccentsareawesome​ @captain-rogers-beard​

Just because I tagged you doesn't mean you have to participate! If you can, please spread the word!

[angelbabylu]

Something Wicked // LH

pairing: witch!oc x vampire!luke

word count: 5k

warnings: smut, fluff, magical stuff 

notes: this is the most self indulgent thing i’ve ever done. it is comprised of a few different elements: first i got the idea for this from this book series about a witch falling in love with a vampire. on top of that, i’ve always been obsessed with higher education for supernatural creatures (like hogwarts but as a university) and i decided to add some of that element to this fic as well. next, there are a few allusions to Macbeth and Les Miserables in this because i really enjoyed how they fit with the story line. and finally, Luke is french in this?? bec i thought it would be hot & also i loved the idea of him being made a vampire during the french revolution. this fic ended up being mostly character and world building and then smut lol but i may revisit this universe again with some actual plot at a later date. 

title: from Macbeth 

:: ::

It was almost 9 pm when the wind began to pick up outside Margo’s half-opened window. It usually wouldn’t have bothered her–she loved the ominous rustle of the trees and the way the wind’s magic made her feel as if she could fly. But tonight, it was whipping jet black hair into a frenzy in front of her face, making it almost impossible to read the book of potion ingredients that sat in front of her. At first, she had tried tucking the offending strands behind one ear, then another. When the hair tie she used to secure it into a curly knot atop her head broke, she groaned in frustration, her head slamming on the desk with a dull thud.

“Alright you fucking mop,” Margo growled to her curls. “I’ll close the window.”

She was surprised to find the rest of her room dark when she moved away from the incandescent lamp that lived on her desk. The enchanted item had slowly increased in brightness as the sun had given way to its rival, assuring that Margo’s studies weren’t bothered by such trivialities as not having enough light to read.

It took only five long strides for Margo to cross her room, but in that time her mind had moved from the conveniences of being a modern witch back to the potions test she was going to take the next day. Mutely, she recited the four fundamental potion bases and what effects they could help achieve. She was on the third when a bright flash of lightning pulled her from her thoughts and stilled her hand on the window sill.

That explained the way her hair was behaving, at least. There was a thunderstorm brewing, and her hair’s natural propensity to disobey increased whenever electricity stirred in the air. She closed the window and went back to her desk; she had more important things to worry about. By the time the deep roll of thunder disturbed the air, she was tucked back in her chair, nose buried in her book.  

Margo didn’t look up again until her senses drove her to do so. There was a slight tingling in her thumb–a witches sixth sense that told her another being was coming her way. Eventually, she didn’t need any of her preternatural senses–the loud clacking of heels against old wood floors announced the arrival easily enough.

Mildly annoyed, Margo sat back. It was too much to ask for more than a few hours to herself–especially when her sisters were involved. She had barely taken a full breath before the door to her room was slammed opened revealing Serena, dressed in what had to be her most revealing outfit all year. The leopard print skirt was tight and short, struggling to fully cover the entirety of her ass. The top–well Margo wasn’t sure if she could call it a top. It was more a flimsy piece of mesh and two strips of fabric to cover her breasts. But if anyone could pull it off, it was Serena. It was not just her amazon like appearance that made this possible, but also the obvious confidence that rolled of her and the way she commanded attention as soon as she entered a room.

Much like she did now.

But Margo had known Serena too long to be intimidated by her.

Raising an eyebrow tauntingly, Margo asked, “Trying to catch an incubus?”

The sharp sound of Serena’s heels was the only response as Serena moved deeper into the room to sit on Margo’s bed. The bed was raised to allow space for storage underneath. Often times, Margo found herself leaping just to get on to it, but Serena was tall enough that she could sit down without a struggle.

Finally, Serena met her eyes again. “Not everyone has a hot vampire boyfriend drooling over them, Mar. I definitely wouldn’t mind an incubus.”

And there it was. The reason why Margo had thrown herself so wholeheartedly into her studies that night.

A warmth started to spread on her cheeks and to the tips of her hair as she blushed. “Shut up,” she grumbled, hating the way just the mention of his name sent her pulse skyrocketing.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Serena said as she played with one of the many earrings up and down her lobe. “Maybe you should invite him to the party tonight.”

Margo rolled her eyes and ignored the girl on her bed in favor of her text. “I’m not going to the party tonight, Serena. I already told you that.”

“Oh for Circe’s sake, Margo.” Serena’s voice was colored with annoyance. “Just come to the party. Live a little.”

Margo kept her eyes focused on the page in front of her. Under Fire Potions, she began reading the uses – poison, hallucinogens, mind-alterations, etc. Serena got increasingly agitated behind her, but Margo continued to ignore her.

When Serena grumbled, “Margo?” Margo finally gave her the response she had been looking for.

“I said I am not coming.” Margo gestured wildly to the mess of notebooks, sticky notes, and highlighters strewn across her desk–though this was not the only reason she would be missing out on the festivities.

Margo had other plans come the witching hour. She tried not to let her face betray that fact, knowing that Serena would not take lightly to her ditching her party for a boy.

“You’ve been studying all night. Take a break and come celebrate with us.”

Margo had argued with Serena enough to know that a simple no might not suffice. Instead, she uncapped a highlighter and grumbled, “Serena, if you don’t leave me alone I’m going to hex you green for the next 24 hours. Then, neither of us will be able to enjoy the party.”

Such use of magic on school grounds was, of course, strictly forbidden. But Margo would happily risk probation for the few minutes of blissful quiet it would bring. Luckily, no one had to hex anyone. Serena accepted her defeat and left Margo’s room, muttering, “Your loss.”

Margo and Serena were both students at the University of the Arcana. They were the world’s worst kept secret. The things that mortal beings feared most were real and living among them, though not with as much horrific tendency towards the cruel as mortals liked to believe. Or, at least, no more so than the mortals themselves. Witches, vampires, demons, shapeshifters–they were human just like everyone else, just a different subclass of humans.

Part of the human experience, unfortunately, was going to a university and getting a degree. Here, Margo studied horticultural magic. It was a degree with which, as her mom liked to remind her, she could go on to become a pharmacist. That was not her plan. She wanted to own a greenhouse someday–maybe do some rudimental medicinal remedies for people in her community. She often dreamed of this simple life on a countryside somewhere.

For now, she was forced to live on a campus large enough to be a country of its own. Not only that but the sorority Gamma Nu with which she had pledged required her to live with twenty-nine other student witches. As much as she hated it–it was a campus requirement. No student witch was allowed on campus without pledging to a coven. That, unfortunately, meant that her sorority sisters never gave her a moment of peace.

Serena had only left Margo’s room for twenty minutes before the heavy bass of some modern hip-hop song began shaking her room.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Margo yelled to no one in particular. The tips of her fingers began to spark blue as she itched to hex someone. It seemed that her sisters couldn’t be bothered to cast a privacy spell on their party, thus subjecting Margo to the loud, rhythmic thumping that would make studying impossible.  

Regretfully, she was terrible at noise redirection spells. Any attempts to soundproof her room would end in disaster. Her plans for the night, to study and retain all that she could before he came, we’re steadily being foiled by distractions at every turn.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to steer her mind to a different route. She just needed to change locations. If she trudged around disgruntled enough, the house would recognize her need, and provide her with a solution. The house was sentient, as all witch abodes were. Something about the excess magic in the air caused them to develop a mind of their own. Sometimes, it was more harm than good, as the house had been known to get rid of entire rooms when it was in a mood. But, just as often, it had been known to give a witch exactly what she was looking for.

Holding out hope, Margo packed up her belongings and slipped out of her room.

“Okay house,” she said pleadingly, hoping it could hear her over the thundering of the music and the storm outside. “Show me someplace quiet I can study.”

For a minute, the only thing she saw was a little black ball of fur that dashed past her feet, following the music downstairs. Witches didn’t have familiars per se, but that never stopped her sisters from ironically adopting every black cat they came across.

“House?” she asked impatiently. A door banged open down the hall.

“Thank you,” She whispered, making her way to the door. It led to the library, which was one story down on the eastern wing, but the laws of physical space did not much apply there.

She couldn’t bring herself to fully step inside, however. This was obviously one of the house’s jokes.

The library was soundproof, that much Margo did know. But it was also haunted by two loud, gossipy ghosts.

“Oh dear,” a larger woman said from her position knitting by the library’s fireplace. If not from the way she was tinted silver and slightly translucent, one might not have known she was undead. “Elizabeth, come see! The studious one did not get invited to the party.”

From somewhere on the banister of the second floor came a tinny laugh. “Well, that’s no surprise to me!” Elizabeth responded. “Look at the way she dressed.”

Margo resisted the urge to pull at her old sweatpants and the UA sweatshirt she wore. “Shut up,” she grumbled. Before shutting the door, she added, “I was invited by the way! I didn’t want to go.”

She ignored Elizabeth’s pointed, “What kind of girl doesn’t want to go to a party?” The sound of which lingered until much after Margo had closed the door.

The house rumbled underneath her, making it clear it was laughing.

“House!” she snapped, annoyed at his antics. Another door appeared in front of her in that instant. This time, she did step inside it. It was the abandoned potions laboratory she hadn’t known existed. A quick survey of the place revealed it was in the basement. Which, happily, seemed to be enchanted, for all the noise of the party disappeared as soon as she closed the door.

It was perfect.

Margo toiled over the cauldron in the laboratory for hours, using whatever preserved ingredients she could find to build practice potions. Having always been a tactical learner, this made the art of potion making so much more accessible to her. The fire underneath the cauldron burned hot, causing her to shed her sweater for the loose grey tank underneath. Eventually, she piled her hair up and away from her face, to avoid the way the steam had caused it to stick to her cheeks and the back of her neck. The ingredients were old school–more animal than plant-based, as she preferred to work with. But Margo made it work nonetheless. 

                    Eye of newt.

                    Toe of frog.

                    Wool of Bat.

                    Tongue of Dog.

Round and round the boiling pot she went, throwing in the ancient ingredients and murmuring incantations, learning the form way better than any text could teach her. She was so lost in the art of it all, she was sure nothing could pull her out.

Then the witching hour came, and a sharp prickling sensation in Margo’s thumbs told her that someone was looking for her. Or something. It was much bigger and much more powerful than Serena–it sent her witch’s sense haywire. She knew just who was it was. She had been waiting for him all night. For a moment, she debated going up to the party, finding him, and dragging him back down to the basement. But, there was a spell she knew, old and powerful, that would bring any creature to her in an instant. Of course, with ancient magicks, there was always a chance of attracting unwanted, much more dangerous attention.

Sighing, she lifted up a quick prayer to Hecate, then said, “Fuck it.”

Turning away from the cauldron, she recited the old but powerful spell.

By the pricking of my thumb, Something wicked this way comes. Open, locks, Whoever knocks.

She closed her eyes for a breath, and when she opened it, he appeared in front of her like an apparition. At first, he was nothing more than a blur of black and silver. He had entered the room at full vampiric speed, and her eyes had to take a moment to adjust, to register what she was seeing.

Her heart began pounding in her chest, not unlike the rhythmic thumping of the bass she had heard earlier. Run, her instincts told her, recognizing that there was a predator, much larger and much deadlier than her in the room. She tried to calm the pounding she could now feel in her throat, with a breath. It came out shuddering.

Now that her eyes were fully adjusted, she could see the way his pupils dilated, no doubt at the sound of the rush of blood through her veins. As he advanced on her, she took a few steps back. Eventually, she was stopped by the edge of the table next to where the cauldron still bubbled over.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

Vampires were at the top of the human food chain. Because of that, everything about them was designed to draw prey in. Luke was no different. The way he talked was an aphrodisiac, the smallest hint of an old French accent rolling off his tongue lasciviously, drawing a longing from her core. She felt the moment her body realized that she was in no immediate danger, and her heart started hammering for an entirely different reason.

“I know,” she responded, trying to sound cavalier. It was why she had thrown herself so wholeheartedly into her studies that night. At some point in the afternoon, she had received a text. It was just five words, yet it had made her toes curl with desire. Witching hour. I’ll find you. The modern monster’s equivalent of a booty call. Margo, not one to betray her studies for a man, had spent all afternoon with her nose buried in a book. Now that he was right in front of her, she was confident enough in what she had learned that she had no trouble stepping away from the cauldron for the night.

Instead of getting closer to her as her whole body ached for, Luke moved to survey in the room. In turn, she surveyed him. His movements were cat-like, each motion deliberate and graceful. The white, silk shirt he wore was unbuttoned halfway down and tucked into a pair of black leather pants. A peek at the smooth expanse of his chest made Margo yearn to reach out and touch, but she stayed backed up against the table, allowing him to walk the layout of the lab.

“Pilar said you were somewhere studying,” He referenced her housemate easily as he walked around the room almost aimlessly, first glancing into the still bubbling cauldron, then the ingredients that lined the shelf. Ungraciously, she felt jealousy rise to the surface, sending pinpricks of magic down her spine. Margo was well aware of Luke and Pilar’s brief tryst a few months before, and in moments like these, when her senses were bridled by lust, she couldn’t help the primal instincts of possessiveness.

“Potions test.” She responded. Then, because she couldn’t quite put the thought out of her mind, she added, “Pilar needs to mind her own business.”

She was proud of herself when the words didn’t come out sounding shaky or hoarse.

“She’s worried about you, ma chérie. All you do is study.”

Margo tramped down her envy and reminded herself that she hadn’t spent all day studying just so she and Luke could fight about his over-friendliness with his ex. Instead, she tried to focus on nudging Luke’s eyes back to her with a suggestive comment. “I’m not studying right now.”

At her goading, Luke finally gave her the attention she craved. He turned to look at her, his smirk dangerous and promising.

“I prove to be an adequate distraction, no?”

She didn’t see him move. Rather, one moment, he was across the room with a jar of dragon scales in his hand, and somehow, in that same instant, the jar was back on the shelf, and he was next to her, tucking an escaped curl behind her ear.

Immediately, she heaved her chest up to him.

The way he tutted was almost regretful as he traced the line of a barely visible scar, one that he had left on her chest less than 24 hours before. “Oh, ma chérie. You’re already addicted to my touch. I can hear how your blood sings for me.”

Bowing his head, he gently brought his lips to the scar that rested just above the swell of her bosom. “Are you ever,” he paused slightly as if choosing his next word carefully. “Scared of this?”

Scared of this. Scared of them. Historically, witches and vampires did not come together for anything more than sex and political alliances. But, there was something deeper between Luke and Margo. The memory of how indignant she had felt when Serena mentioned her hot vampire boyfriend rose to the surface. Even now she had a hard time with the state of their relationship-how quickly she had come to fall in love with her predator. He often reminded her of the power that he held over her and how her sense of self-preservation became nonexistent whenever he was around.

Luke nipped at her skin lightly, not enough to draw blood. It wrenched her from her thoughts and into that moment with him. When her heart stuttered, he stared up at her, a wolfish grin playing on his face. In moments like these, they both regressed to their animalistic impulses, running on deep, primal instincts left over from their ancestors.

“You forget, Hemmings, that I’m powerful too,” Margo muttered a quick incantation, and this time, the speed with which Luke moved was not due to his vampiric abilities, but rather the invisible bands of wind that twisted around him, pulling him off her, and restraining his wrist. His attempts to burst free of his magical binding was futile. He pulled at his invisible restraints and bared his teeth in warning to her.

The animal inside him did not like to be tied up.

She ignored the way her blood roared in her ears, focusing only on the fact that if it sounded loud to her, it would be deafening for Luke.

Reaching out to the potions table, Margo grabbed a knife she had been using earlier, wiping any traces of ingredients from it with a quick, cleansing water spell. Then, she held it up to her breast. Both her and Luke tracked the way the cool blade as it came to rest against her skin. The grey tank top, as unattractive as Elizabeth’s ghost would find it, did the job of sparking Luke’s interest. She wore no bra underneath, so it hung low on her ample bosom and was thin enough that her nipples all but poked through.

She pierced the skin right where Luke had scarred her before. In response, Luke’s pupils dilated further until his blue eyes were almost completely black, and his breath began to get ragged. Now, it was her turn to smirk.

“I might be addicted to your touch,” she purred. “But you’re addicted to my taste.”

Luke impossibly broke free of her binds and had his hands gripping at her sides in a second. He buried his face in her neck, not going for her blood until he got express permission to do so.

“Can I?” His voice was rough and riddled with want. She nodded once, and Luke dropped his mouth to her heart vein and started to drink deeply.

Nothing that Margo had experienced in her 21 years of life was as erotic as a vampire drinking from her chest. In popular culture, vampires drank from their lover’s neck. That was too impersonal of an action, Luke had informed her. Vampires drank from a mortal’s necks when they planned to drain them and leave them for dead. There was something much more sacred about their relationship, something that made the idea of taking blood from that public place repugnant to him.

As he sucked deeper on Margo’s chest, a shiver of lust set inside her aflame. She could feel herself grow wet from the pull of blood out of her and into him. It was an aphrodisiac, and she was powerless against the feeling it brought. From the way Luke flexed his fingers at her side, she could tell he was just as affected by it as she was. He pulled away to thrust his erection against her.

“Wanna drink while I’m inside you,” he begged.

She didn’t trust her voice not to come out in a ragged plea, so she nodded mutely, already reaching for the hem of her shirt to pull it over her head. Luke hoisted her up unto the table she had barely noticed digging into her back. Instead of returning to the wound on her chest, already closed from the healing properties in his saliva, Luke went for her nipples, sucking on one as he rolled the other between his forefinger and thumb.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered almost reverentially.

He started on a path downwards, kissing her stomach, licking into the dip of her belly button. “You know,” he began as he knelt in front of her, fingers already poised to remove her sweatpants. “Since the change, I’ve questioned my belief in a higher power. But when I do this with you, I know He’s real. Nothing else but an omnipotent deity could have created an angel as beautiful as you.”

Margo bit her lip. Having spent some time with the romantic era poets of the mid-1800s, Luke was prone to outbursts like these in the midst of sex. Margo liked to tease him about it.

“I’m no angel,” she retorted a slight quirk of her lips. “I’ll be right there in hell with you, Luke Hemmings. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

Luke took a moment to respond, choosing instead to remove her sweatpants and panties. Then, he placed a few chaste kisses to the inside of either thigh, letting his scruff rub lightly against her teasingly. Margo’s hand shot out, running through his hair a few times, before trying to lead him to her folds.

Instead, he chose that moment to respond to her earlier comment. It was always like this with them. Push and pull. Two opposing tides of want, dragging their sex in different directions. “You are too intoxicating. The devil will try to steal you from me.”

Luke brought his mouth back to her stomach, lapping at the salt of her skin. He nibbled slightly, causing her to release a shuddering breath.

“The devil can’t have me,” she cried between gasps. “I belong to you.”

That was just the motivation the vampire needed. “And I to you,” he growled. It was a guttural sound coming from deep within. In the next moment, he brought his tongue to her, pressing it against her clit.

He spent his time worshiping her folds, before adding one finger inside her. Margo’s legs fell open wider in response, inviting more.

“How does every inch of you taste so good?” He asked in another bought of reverence. Margo’s only response was a cry of euphoria as Luke’s fingers scissored in and out of her, drawing immeasurable pleasure. For a few moments, she basked in the sensation of a lover taking his time to reduce her to cries and shudders. When she came the first time, she was so lost in this sensation, she wasn’t cognizant of the little sparks of magic flittering off her, falling to the tables and the floor.

It was not until Luke muttered, “Shit,” that she opened her eyes to see smoke rising from a hole burnt into the hardwood floor.

“Fuck,” she cursed, still panting. “My bad.”

They glanced at each other for a brief moment, taken by the heat of each other. Then, they devolved into laughter. This wasn’t the first time Margo had burnt something in the midst of their passion, and it wouldn’t be her last.

Luke stood and picked her up amid their laughter. In response, she wrapped her legs around his waist and peppered her face with kisses. “Take us back to your room,” he begged. He raised one foot in the basement of the old house as Margo whispered her incantation, and when he put it down, they were back in her second-floor room.

“God, I love magic,” He breathed, depositing her on her bed.

“Me too,” she responded, and with a wink, all his clothes disappeared. Luke was unconcerned with their dematerialization, knowing from experience he would find them neatly folded at the foot of her bed the next morning.

Crawling on top of her, he slotted their mouths together in a motion they had done so often it became ritual. They spent a few blissful moments, rubbing unbidden against each other. But Luke was impatient. Soon, he was pinning both her wrists above her head with one large hand and entering her slowly.

At first, his thrusts were slow, deliberate, as he got used to the feeling of being inside her. Then, when his movements started to become more erratic, Margo bared her chest to him, knowing exactly what he wanted. His teeth pierced the scarred flesh easily, and he moaned at the first drop of blood that made contacts with his lips.

He released his hold on her hands then, so his were available to wrap his hand around her throat, grip at her side and play with her clit or nipple as he saw fit. The animal in both of them moved about in unrestrained movements as they devolved into hands, teeth, and hips. He drank until it felt like the open wound in her chest was somehow connected to her pussy, each deep suck causing her walls to contract.

She groaned, one hand in his hair, the other in the sheets. It was heaven for her, but for him, it was even better. Curious, Margo had once asked what it felt like to make love to her and feed from her at the same time. He said it felt like being burned alive in the best way possible. Passion consumed every inch of him, setting him aflame.

When he pulled back from her chest, they were both seconds away from climaxing. Immediately, he brought one finger to her clit, playing with it as he thrust inside her. She came, and he followed. This time, a soft glow of light radiated off her in pulses, matching the pulses of her orgasm. Her magical reactions to him were getting stronger.

She turned her attention to the man now draped atop of her, breathing in deeply, taking in the heady scent of the room.

“Smell something you like?” she teased, knowing he liked the smell of them tangled together in the room. Luke loved being unable to smell where he ended and she began.

“Yeah,” he breathed in response, still visibly affected by Margo’s blood. Margo laid there a few minutes running her hand through his hair, waiting for him to come down from the high she had caused.

When Luke was back to himself again, he flipped them, so she was lying atop him. With a quick incantation, Margo brought the blanket gently over their shoulders. Peacefully, they settled in for the night.

“I love you, mon cœur,” Luke uttered the sentiment first.

Margo repeated it.

“Wake me up at 8?” She wanted to get some last minutes revisions done before her test at 10 and one of the best things about having a vampire boyfriend? He didn’t need sleep, so she had a personal alarm. Margo thought the kiss he placed atop her head was an affirmative and a goodnight all in one. He had one more thing to say.

“Le suprême bonheur de la vie, c'est la conviction qu'on est aimé; aimé pour soi-même, disons mieux, aimé malgré soi-même.”

The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather in spite of ourselves.

It was a quote from his late friend, Victor Hugo. In moments of reminiscing, Luke thought back to the time he’d spent with the author and poet. He had told her once that he never believed he would find the happiness Hugo spoke about. But he found it with her.

She squeezed his side gently, a silent admittance that she loved him as well. 

:: ::

Part 2: Man or Beast

end notes: shout out to anyone who recognizes the names margo, serena & pilar who are elle’s sorority sisters from legally blonde the musical lmao. let me know what you think! love yall!

tag list: @5sosnsfw / @bloodmoonashton / @lukescaboose / @5sex-of-summa / @deviantnines / @halcyonnhood / @gh0st-0f-y0u-95 / @aspiringwildfire / @cal-pal-cuddles / @hotmessmichael / @hereforlukescruff/ @softforcal / @ohhmuke / @fratcalum / @calumamongmen / @ashtonandcalslefthand / @asht0ns-world / @colorful-queen-of-the-roses / @heavenlydrarry / @slowlyelectronictragedy / @myemptywallets / @pagesuponstpages / @fallfrxmgrace / @thefireisgone / @michaelorwhat / @dammitbands / @sugarcoated-pain / @sublimehood / @cal-puddies / @singt0mecalum / @irwinkitten / @myloverboyash