#do you guys think he smells like crab or mushrooms

[deikyrio]

Girl dinner

[raviosrupees]

Super Specific Linked Universe Headcanons Pt 1.

All of the Links are autistic but they all have wildly different ways of presenting it. Ask me about their special interests, please. Please.

Warriors is in his 20s. He is an Aquarius. I'm right.

Sky is the ultimate straight cis ally, but he has bi wife energy. He is best friends with Legend, and they're kind of inseparable.

Twilight is a taurus, he's cis and bisexual, but leans towards women and fem ppl (and too hung up to think about anyone but one woman)

Wild is taller than yall think, 17 or 117 whatever is more convenient for him, zelda told him his birthday is november 7th (scorpio, ofc) and he just accepts that.

Hyrule is pansexual (mostly cis but might be genderfluid, he likes to wear feminine clothes and makeup)

Four is like? 3'8, and he's 20 yo but most people don't believe him. He's a trans boy, and most of the colors are too besides vio, who I think is either genderfluid or pangender, uses all pronouns. Four is bisexual but leans towards guys, though he loves his Zelda.

Legend is 4'10, 17 yo, born december 14th at midnight. he is trans, any pronouns, and bisexual.

Ravio is same height and age as Legend, and they're both born on the same day but ravio was born at noon. This really bothers Legend, he wants his own birthday. Ravi loves it.

also ravio is gay, asian/latino, chubby and has the best smile <3

war is cis and bisexual but he leans towards women, I think he's aromantic but probably could be romantically involved with someone.

Times eyes are more gray than blue

Sky 9 times out of 10 has no clue whats going on. Stupid and confused, and its perfect.

Twilight always knows where all of them are, and I don't even know if it's just smell. He has mom instincts "where are my kids, what are they doing"

Wild got mad anger issues pls calm down babe. Kind of scary. He lets hyrule braid his hair sometimes.

Hyrules eyes are more green than blue, and he has freckles all over his face and body (jokes he ought to get a kiss for every freckle)

Whenever Wind gets mail from his little sister, he reads it to the group. He's very proud of her, and she's very proud of him. She has a bunch of big brothers now.

Four + the colors are white-asian mixed (or looks like it yk, bc he's hylian) his eyes are dark brown.

Legend goes non verbal a lot, esp when they're stressed, but when she talks, she talks. I mean, hand gestures, ranting, cussing, pointing, "and you a bitch, and you a bitch." favorite curse word is cunt.

warriors ruffle everyone's hair, and they all hate it (esp four and legend, who claims he's going to choke him with his own scarf)

Sky likes to sing and dance, and wishes more of them would dance with him.

Twilight has slept as a wolf so often that it's practically natural for him, he really prefers it. Also, he takes all of his nightwatch shifts as a wolf.

Wild will teach literally anyone about edible flora and mushrooms and such, and foraging around hyrule, if only they would listen. Sometimes talks random animals ears off about his favorite flavor combos. Sky loves to listen and ask questions.

Hyrule will hand his favorite people random stuff as "gifts" like feathers, flowers, rocks, dead bugs (he's obsessed with bugs, he loves them so so much and they're all his friends) his favorite animal is a bumblebee

i know we all agree wind swears likek a bloody sailor, bc thats what he is, but how about him using random shit for swears like, "crabs cankles," "bilge-sucking" or calling the others landlubbers. also feel like he'd be the type to say "bite me" when someone disagrees with him.

Four keeps a bunch of books in his bag, and if their reading is disturbed they all have different reactions. Blue pinches or glares, Vio ignores you unless she deems what youre saying important, red gets physically distressed, and green will actually tell you to be quiet. (blue pinches a lot actually)

Legend is a very picky eater, especially with textures, this pisses wild off (wdym you dont like it YOU HAVENT EVEN TRIED IT)

Sky's Zelda is a bisexual virgo, and she knows everything.

Malon makes very good bread. I want to shove that shit in my face ong. Also she insists on giving each of the boys big hugs when shes sees them.

[futanariwriter]

The GunShip

Sand-Punk Survivor Ch.2

January 04, 2023

Ch.2 Assembling the Crew 

The first member recruited was Araneas best friend Crab Guy a Xixo a species which communicates through smells and these smells trigger intense emotions. CrabGuy was always there thick and thin through it all for Aranea more importantly though he cared for bastions ongoing fight for freedom in Rayuba and was willing to defend it at all cost. Upon walking Rainbow Road they found Snail Dude slowly chugging along. He was quicker than you would think though, especially with a blade. 

    Next on the list was Mantis man, a middle aged monk about 7 ft. tall and part XiXo. Mantis Man had razor sharp claws which were very intimidating and his alien eyes had a way of looking deep into your soul. We met at the Sea Shrine located a few miles west of the dragon sharks house. 

"So we need to plan how this raid on the factory is going to go down! "There are only three of us and about one hundred of the small demons who worked at these forges which supplied the pyre with weapons so we are all probably going to die unless we do this right." said Aranea the electro dragon. "let's take a step back. I've got this strong shell" said snail gu. "but snail guy what do you mean?" said Aranea quizzically at Crabguy. "i'll put the bombs in my shell and you two just cover me!" "I don't know if we can let you do that said CrabGuy". WHat could we do though if snail guy was going to sacrifice himself who were we to judge as many families had been torn apart already in the short time this conflict had been happening. Still something deep within our souls ached as we helped strap the bombs to him the following morning. 

The Following day they met at the west end of the factory loading dock. "are you sure you want to do this it's not too late to back out?!" said Aranea to snail-dude "Yeah lets do this!" Their troop had gone largely UN-noticed until they broke through the window and a janitor saw them and rang the alarm. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C4fjGwVpbm0

"Time to get in your shell and start the charge" said the electro dragon 

Ok DONE!

Just then, a group of Lizardmen broke through the front door of the factory with crossbow and spear ablaze "ragh & Gronk!" they said with a ferocious hissing tone! 

    "Eat plasma bolts bitch!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7rOeSCw41A

They said this and started summersaulting across the floor  in a  flurry of heightened awareness after eating amanita mushrooms. "I'm gonna fuck you all in the ass!" they said as the lizard-men violently turned into bloody sacks of hamburger. "well, I'm all out of plasma bolts now it's time to bring out the plasma spear." They thought as CrabGuy covered them with his large claws which cut the lizard troopers dismembering the. The plasma spear which contained a large ruby from the nearby ocean shrine to Aesma godess of the ocean around these parts. It glowed a rainbow iridescent color like that of Pearl Abalone.  It was technically a trident since it has six tips which glowed even brighter and surrounded the Ruby held within the of the wooden staff which had an iron maiden carved upon it.

Then a laser shot out of the Ruby causing the last lizaard to completly vaporize into a ash pile with some melted armor around it. "Come on snail dude we can still make it out of this place. you don't have to do this!" "it's too late for me, go on without me." he said in a melancholy tone.  "Snail Dude noooooo!" cried Aranea who then reached out their arm for Snail Dude as CrabGuy held them back and carried them to safety. They could see the pyramidal-steel factory exploding in the distance.

After stocking up on plasma bolts and changing the batteries in the spear. Aranea and CrabGuy decided that they needed a bigger rew, mantis Man concurred as well. However it was hard to assemble a crew in these desperate and violent times. So their party continued to head East to the legendary Beast Jungle where they would meet Hanuman. He lived in a temple in a very deep part of Beast Jungle however inside his house were many other animals who had sentience and wanted to fight for their freedom against the Demonic Hordes that the nation of Pyre commanded.  "There are even Mummified Aliens of the lost Arken civilization in these ancient ruins, holding onto their ancient swords, pistols, maces, you name it" said Hanuman. After doing a little grave-robbing some type of detonation was triggered by one of the sarcophagi and sirens began blaring through cracks in the stone pyramid . They quickly ran out of the temple following the monkey, about two minutes before it exploded. Thankfully nobody was hurt, because almost all the animals that live in were hunting for food this morning out in Beast Jungle. "what a way nature has...we are just like a flame in the wind ready to be blown out" thought Aranea peacefully for a moment. "I'm really sorry about your house!" she said to Hanuman "it's ok, these things happen" said the monkey sitting there in utter disbelief.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4Hd-2OYgH0&list=PL67cMGyeB5sHbGW664C4Kol14cweVKyO8&index=6

[twisted-imagines]

Hello! I know someone has done a similar request to this on another blog but I was curious on your interpretation: how do you think the Leech brothers and Azul would react to having a crush or a SO that REALLY likes seafood, maybe even a particular fondness to eel or octopus dishes? (My personal favorite is squid n salmon 🐙🐟) Feel free to do whatever format you think would work best for this request!

I personally don't eat seafood much so it may be inaccurate, but I had fun with this one~ Scenario part is about eating their animal counterpart🤭 My attempt at comedy. Why did it turn to horror with Floyd though?

Maybe someday I will stop to just randomly go MIA. Maybe.

Octavinelle and a s/o who loves seafood

Jade Leech 🐬

"I promised you the sight, here it is, [Y/n]."

You pant heavily, supporting yourself with hands on your knees, for a minute all you can think about is calming down your breath, but a burning pain in your throat severely hinders your attempts to. Somehow a guy who was born in the sea and never left it before a few years ago can climb higher and faster than you, and you've lived your whole life with your legs. You feel like your skull is squeezing down on you, putting an immense pressure on your brain.

"My my, someone really needs to exercise more. How about joining the Mountain Appreciation Club, [Y/n]? We could do mountaineering more often and build up your stamina?"

You are about to tell him that he'd better kill you now than make you suffer another climb, but once you lift up your head up words die in your throat. Jade sure kept his promise, the sight before you is majestic.

He told you there is a lake somewhere behind that hill and that flora and fauna there is diverse and rich, but what he didn't mention is just how beautiful it is. Untouched, lush greenery, flowers of all colors of rainbow scattered across all the glade that sway to the wind, strive to reach the sun. The horizon is just a straight green line, with mighty trees towering over a pristine blue lake in the middle of this small haven. You can't look at the water for too long, bright sun rays it reflects blind you immediately.

You notice that your head no longer hurts and you can freely breathe in the fresh air, clear of foul smells that people bring when they flock together. But here it's just you, Jade and wild inhabitants of this sanctuary.

"It's beautiful."

"I expected you to enjoy this place. I'm glad my prediction was right. Feel free to explore it, I've made sure that there're no creatures that might hurt you. Before the sun starts to set, enjoy yourself."

You leave your gear and backpack behind and stride forward, having half a mind to take off your shoes and feel for yourself spangled with dew, glistening under the sun bright green grass. You briefly turn to Jade who is still standing behind, seemingly not turned his gaze away from you. He sends a small smile your ways and nods his head encouragingly as if knowing what thought visited your head. You are positive you've never felt so close to nature and to Jade too.

You can't possibly notice, you're already way ahead, touching the water with your leg, retreating when you realize it's too cold for you, keep trying anyway, but the smile does not leave Jade's lips, it grows wider the more he observes you. He can't tell you yet, but the feelings he harbors for you make his heart sing, they are not like anything he's felt before. Oh, how he wishes he could go out with you like this, spend time together without any care in the world, see you smile and look only at him. But things like confessions and relationships need careful planning, he can't possibly let himself be sloppy when it comes to you. Jade is patient, he can wait until that time comes.

"[Y/n], there are lots of different plants and fungi, unique to this area. I go search for them, can I leave setting a camp to you?"

"No problem, go do what you need to do, Mushroom Boy.”

He can't even be mad at you, what a lucky human.

When a noise of someone's footsteps adds to the singing of birds, with cicadas whining and creaking of a bonfire near you mixed in, you know that's it's your companion who's finally returned. Although you stay focused on your task, heat from the fire makes it tempting to turn away,but you just raise your voice to greet him.

"Took you long enough, Jade! I've had time to set camp and to fish! Look, I caught all of these myself!"

Jade approaches you from behind, ready to apologize for his absence, but before he can the sight in his peripheral vision takes away his speech. The fish you have caught and skewered to put above the fire is certainly not what he expected to see. Not what he has ever wanted to see you do.

"[Y/n], I humbly request you to put this poor thing aside or go eat it somewhere a few meters away from me or I might not forgive you for slaying technically one of my kind."

You force yourself to stay in place before you can possibly turn and face himself. You're not ready to look death in the eyes. And the day was just starting to look great, how miserable.

• If his brother at least has a bigger pet peeve than cooked eels, Jade hates seeing eels being prepared as food the most. Like always, you can't tell from looking at his face, but he's furious on the inside. He can't police what you eat and it's not like few humans consume eels. Still, he doesn't want his s/o eating his animal equivalent, even though it can't possibly have the same self-awareness or intelligence that he possesses as a merman. If you insist and don't try to at least hide it from him, expect some petty Jade in the days following. You don't want to comply and listen to his wishes? Then neither does he, he will find a way to annoy you while staying as classy as ever.

• But when it does not concern eels or their distant relatives Jade is all about you exploring sea cuisine, he himself will never miss a chance to partake in some seafood as well. He smirks when he learns that you also share a common love for octopuses. You understand, right? Not only they are tasty-looking while alive, but cooked and seasoned they're just the best. Cue a distressed Azul hiding from both of you in his VIP room.

• When Monstro Lounge was still new Azul really needed someone both skilled and trusted on the kitchen, Jade became both. He will gladly cook something for you and his cooking is amazing. His dishes and how they taste is everything you've ever wanted from your dinner. Can he also cook for you in the morning and in the evening? Jade says that he should have a very important reason to stay with you for the whole day and to live with you... If your fixation with seafood, sea creatures, and the way he prepares them makes you think about becoming more serious about your relationships, particularly starting them or bringing them to a new stage if you two are not quite there yet, Jade won't mind. He always reminds you he's there for you whenever you may need him.

• If Monstro Lounge menu is to undergo a change you're one of the first to taste any new seasonal dish, made by either of brothers, however, Jade usually prefers to take care of you himself, no matter if you're at the cafe as his friend, quote-unquote crush, of just as a customer. If he has to appeal to your taste buds first for you to consider him a suitable mate Jade will try his best for sure.

Floyd Leech🦈

"Thank you, Rook, I really appreciate it!"

"Don't mention it, Trickster! My humble persona is always ready to help you and hunting just happens to be my specialty. Until later!"

Capricious male from Pomefiore runs away faster than you can question whether fishing and hunting are the same, but at least he helped you out. Your boyfriend doesn't get along with him at all, but to your thought Rook is not a bad man. Or maybe you just have a thing for flamboyant people.

You reminisce about how you recently commented on the college's cafeteria lack of fish dishes you loved so much, only for the male to overhear it and offer you a whole basket of different sea dwellers today. You aren't sure if some of them can be even found in locations of NRC or near it, not to mention actually having it be caught and delivered to you. And for a small price of "remembering his good deed". Shady deals are pretty much a part of your life at this point, but you are sure this particular one won't sit right with Floyd. Well, not like he should know about it anyway.

You get to the task at hand, it is preparing all the goodies that you got. Clams and oysters, crabs and lobsters, mackerel, salmon, squids, and several other creatures, some that you don't recognize at all. You know you will be having a blast both preparing all of this and then eating! Your evening promises to be amazing.

"Oh, it smells so good! [Y/n], is there any tuna? Say there is!"

"I believe I see some! We're having a feast today, Grim!"

With an excited mewl following you to the kitchen you place the basket on the countertop with a small thud. It's cold to touch and permits no smell that fish usually gives off. You're as unfamiliar with magic as one can get in this world and Rook knows about it just as well as the next Heartslabyul student. Pretty considerate of him to cast some cooling spell on it. But you will be doing everything with your own hands from this point, just like you always do. Apron in place, sleeves of your shirt rolled up. When fleeting Ramshackle dorm somebody left the knives too, you take the one that you sharpened prior. Time to get started!

"[Y/n]! It's the best! My lovely, tasty tuna! Let's dig in!"

Salmon's pale orange meat easily pierced by a fork, an alluring aroma of spices surrounds you, you place it in your mouth and it basically melts there, leaving a unique aftertaste. You've missed it. You are no chef, but your skills are enough to cook the dishes you've eaten countless times already. It's due to thank Rook for the amazing evening. Nothing can make it better at this point.

"Shrimpy, I'm home! Did you miss me? I missed you~ What a tasty smell-"

Faster than you can take another bite, Floyd bursts into the dorm, making a beeline straight to the kitchen, lead by the scent of your cooking. You've forgotten, haven't you? Elated about the perspective of finally partaking into your favorite dishes once again after the long while, you forgot about inviting your boyfriend altogether. Caught red-handed; or more like open-mouthed. Floyd stops right before the dining table, watches intently first your dinner, then you. You slowly put the food back on the plate, your nervous chuckle fills the awkward pause, before your unexpected guest stars to talk again.

"Whatcha doing here Shrimpy? Eating? Why not come to Monstro Lounge? Why not welcome me?"

Hit with the string of questions, put under the pressure by the deadpan gaze he is giving you while still upholding that carefree smile of his, you hurry to the cupboard to bring Floyd a plate. The male has already leisurely taken his place behind the table. Back turned to him, you don't feel like you can be rescued from this situation, or at least pardoned from giving him some sort of answer. You know pretty well how badly Floyd handles separation and boredom, since entering these relationships you've become his first and most welcome relief from both of those feelings. Being excluded from your life is rather upsetting for him.

By the time you sit back the grey cat, your only other companion in the dorm is nowhere to be seen.

"I was just about to call you. It's been a long time I have eaten any of these, got a little carried away. Sadly, Monstro Lounge has little of things I like, and I already tasted everything I could."

Listening to your rambling with a placid smile, Floyd hasn't said a thing, only hummed twice, commenting on how he is usually the one preparing you all the dishes at the cafe and now it is his turn to taste your cooking. You hope that the sigh you let out is not visible, the stress instilled by the awkwardness of the situation you got into is slowly draining from your body, making your movements lighter, calmer. A hard contrast to Floyd, who seemingly didn't move one inch in his seat, continuing to observe you.

"And where did you even get all of these tasty creatures from, Shrimpy?"

You hurriedly bring some piece of meat from the variety of dishes you prepared to your mouth to and bite into it, your words muffled and hurried. You did nothing wrong so why does it feel like an interrogation?

"O-oh, my friends gave me this basket, I'm very grateful to them-"

You don't manage to finish your sentence.

"Ah, Shrimpy~ Lying to me, not welcoming me to dinner and now eating one of my kind...

You really want to get at me for something, don't you?"

• Perceives you eating eel dishes as a personal attack, Floyd will make you stop at any cost if he sees you eating one. He's peeved at the sight and starts to think back to things he could have done to you that made you angry with him, or reasons for you to trying to start a fight, you're basically eating him! He doesn't fear a Shrimp like you, but the sight is unnerving him.

• But Floyd does share your fondness for seafood, it's the only food he has eaten for most of his life after all! Monstro Lounge has a wide variety of fish dishes and he will gladly prepare anything to you as long as it's in their stock. And he's a pretty great cook too! And utterly the worst to eat with, he'll annoy you so by taking away your utensils and feeding you himself until you'll eventually either lose a nerve or burst from embarrassment. While Floyd generally loves eating what you prepare, he especially looks forward to you cooking sea creatures, not only for the taste but also to see how a land dweller usually eats them, what kind of recipes you have.

• Will cook some squid or octopus at Monstro Lounge, just before the closing, a time during Azul always goes out of the VIP room to supervise the cafe, and then share it with you, praising the taste and smell all the while, looking at his friend straight into the eyes, searching for a reaction. Encourages you to do so too. It will not end without furious Azul chastising laughing Floyd, and depending on if you like to join your boyfriend in his pranks, then you too.

• If you did something to upset him, but not enough for him to argue with you, expect to see Floyd order a handful of shrimps and eat them in a simultaneously gross and intimidating way. Does he want to threaten you? You don't know if you should be scared that he's eating "you", angry that he wastes food instead of talking with you or amused by his childishness.

• If you happen to be somewhere near the lake or sea, where there are sure lots of fish, Floyd will hunt some for you. Two birds with one stone: he gets to see you happy and hear you thank and praise him, and he can spend some time in the water, trading human legs for his dear tail and fins. Fishermen hate him, he catches what he needs, but all other fish swims away, scared.

Azul Ashengrotto🐙

"It sure is busy during this time of the year."

You have to grab your boyfriend's hand tighter, afraid to lose him in the raucous crowd that is so hell-bent on pushing you from side to side. Merchants touting passers-by to look at their stands, food stalls and crowds that get drawn to them, why would you want to get a picture with this monkey, no, children happy to ditch their parents and go run amok and you don't want to get started on the unbearable heat, today is unusually hot. Most of your vacation with Azul has been calm and relaxed, you greatly enjoyed yourself, resting under the shadows, once or twice nearly lulled into sleep by the tranquil sound of waves hitting the shore. The most action you got was when you showed off your new swimwear to Azul and when you had to catch the sandal that almost got taken by the sea, so this commotion is tiring you exceedingly fast. The only upside is that Azul is still by your side, his company definitely the best part of this small getaway you have.

"It is, yes... But it is to be expected, especially from the main street. Wavecrest Neptunalia is one of the few holidays that merfolk and humans share and come together to celebrate, each on their own land. It's a festival dedicated to praising the sea so there bound to be a lot of "sea gifts" for you to eat too."

He goes on a little rant about the origin, customs, traditions, and so on. You only know just how stunning he looks. You get little chance in the college to see him wear less fabric or express himself so freely, you don't even have that much time to be with him at all, damned be responsibilities of dorm leaders, extra curriculum and other crap. Doesn't Azul not handle hot weather well himself? He's a bit red in the face, and a few loose silver strands have stuck to his forehead, but otherwise, he seems very upbeat. You like that look on him.

When he expectantly turns in your direction you do not show you've been preoccupied with looking at him, rather than listening, although some parts did get through to you.

"You sure did your homework, Azul."

"I always do my homework- Ah... Yes, it's our first trip and you would have no way knowing about it, I wanted to give you the insight."

Isn't he the most adorable and loving man in the whole Twisted Wonderland? To you he is. He may have his own hang-ups, but you love him whole, you can't not to. You smile warmly at him and squeeze his hand, he may overheat if you try to do more while in public, you can deduce as much from the way his face reddens profusely at such small gestures.

"I appreciate it, thank you."

To turn back your head to the street, just in time to notice the sign of some rather intriguing looking restaurant. Perfect, you get to hide from both people and less than nice weather and also eat!

"Well then, you mentioned "sea gifts" - I want to try them, let's find someplace to eat! This one looks interesting."

The interior is styled with a lot of sea motives, the main attraction, a huge barracuda skeleton, hanging from the ceiling. You notice Azul looking around, in the end being pretty unimpressed, humans design and decoration abilities did not meet his expectations. Despite that both you and he find yourself shocked by the diversity the menu is offering. You make a mental note to make sure you walk out of this place on your two, and not rolled out by Azul in a form of a happy, big ball.

"Dear, you know what to order, I must excuse myself. Don't get bored."

He sends you a smirk, before disappearing into the general direction of the restroom. But look at this menu, they even have a separate page for every creature, crazy...

By the time Azul returned you have already made an order, waiting time passes unnoticed, you're too engrossed into your chat, discussing with Azul nothing in particular, you believe you could enjoy being silent with him. You don't mind it when your boyfriend goes quiet when your first dish is served to you.

"Octopus carpaccio, huh, [Y/n]."

You look shocked, like a guilty puppy. Only a sigh follows suit from him. He did forget octopus was nearly the first in the list of your most favorite seafood. You sure do love his kind, no matter the form they come in, he's the prime example. Azul catches himself on the thought that all people dear to him are either octopuses or love to eat them, no in-between. He wonders whether there's some kind of odd curse cast upon him. His businessman smile takes place on his face.

"How about a deal? You won't notice me eating this fried chicken later and I'll pretend this one never happened too?"

• Azul is unfortunately used to be the butt of jokes about eating his animal form, all credits to Leech twins, he's also well aware of how popular octopus dishes are in general among people, mer or not. He's rather chill with you liking to eat something made of his animal counterpart, but no matter how distanced he feels from his merman form he gets nervous at the sight of you eating those dishes, of anyone really eating them before him, and he gets more agitated if you taunt him with it. His hands are full with two eels, he doesn't need you teasing him too, no matter how lighthearted it is.

• Is it deep-fried? Yes? Then Azul loves it. No? He won't see the allure, even if you try to convince him otherwise. He eats his vegetables, but not without a feeling of disgust, he would rather have something less "grass-like", so he understands when you express how much you love seafood, and he's happy as long as it's healthy for you. For that reason he will either feed you at Monstro Lounge or in a really trustworthy place, goes in hand with his little quirk of going out with you to different restaurants and cafes.

• Please, don't tell him that his merman form looks tasty, he will get scared, it's not a joke. If he finds a pot to hide inside first you'll have to persuade him to leave it and then make it up by paying him countless compliments, apologizing is a must too. No, you can't take a bite! Maybe from his human body, but not this one. You don't like human flesh? Oh, mighty sea, help him.

[skaterboyfriend]

stardew villagers - my farmer hc thoughts on them !! :)

i just failed my final exam so lets depression-eat and post shitty headcanons. will be writing as if its my opinion because my farmer is the cooler version of me (smarter, prettier, stronger, and bolder. i am none of those things!!)

abigail: kinda like that feeling like... aw sweetie you made it to level 4 in the mines <3 congrats!! you’re so epic babe anyway where should i stash this 8lb of monster guts

alex: jock... with no brain... and thinks hes the shit until you discover all his inflated ego is a coverup for his insecurities and youre like aww himbo :)

caroline: i feel like she deserves something other than being a housewife with some businessman who seems to care a bit more about the competition than her. i see her more alike to abigail when she was young, and wonder if she ever will embrace her wild side again...

clint: oh. the goatee guy... personally i think hes ok until he talks about other women and then im like *knife emoji (im on pc)*

demetrius: ok listen... tomatoes are... veggies. like those are its vibes so please take it as such. i also don’t like how hes pressuring maru into being the best of the best and how he seems to disregard his OTHER kid sebastian... like bro. please stop looking at the mushrooms please tell your stepson he’s doing great

elliott: the theater kid? with the long hair and the crab in his shirt pocket? smells of the salty oceanic breeze and wears birks? and youre asking me what i think of him??

emily: she is so neat... like a ltitle bundle of joy in blue hair... she always says the nicest things and is super positive!!! i love her :)

evelyn: aww i always find cookies in her trash so thats a plus! she’s neat :)

george: i mean, hes cranky and old but once i got close to him, hes so caring and kind in his weird way of making sure youre bundled up during the winter and youre eating enough food and youre careful in the mines. cute!

gus: he is so sweet with giving linus free food and being on everyone’s good side and sells me recipes and beer which i buy with a smile :)

haley: ok i know im ugly and smell, thanks for telling me like the millionth time. are ugly and smelly farmers your type by any chance?

harvey: ok harvey youre so timid and awkward and bashful and sweet in person but when i pass out and need an emergency surgery, then its all “you shouldnt push yourself” “you have to be careful young lady” “the bill comes out to 1000000000 gold”

jas: the sweetest... i LOVED when she started seeing me as a friend and giving me smiles and telling me about her toys and favorite things <3

jodi: MILF

kent: DILF

linus: he’s the first person i befriended, he’s really sweet and doesn’t deserve all the bad things that happened to him

leah: shes a neat artist! and i love that she likes drift wood so i dont just have to throw it away!

lewis: lewis is scared of me. he is threatened by me. i can dismantle his whole town: take role as governor, make everything sway to my will, force the villagers to adore me. i make 70k a day, i have a self-functioning farm that churns out starfruit jelly out the hooha while i make plans to thwart his reputation. i can and will make the whole town in my overalls’ pocket. he is terrified of me.

marnie: marnie sweetie you deserve better than lewis xx i will set you up with someone else... marlon and gil, by any chance??? 

maru: she’s cool i guess, i don’t really see her unless im heading in the clinic to buy tonics

pam: i dont really like her solely because of how she scares penny. i know what its like to have parents that scare you because of how they never seem to put down the bottle so i feel real bad for penny. i know alcoholism is not just something they choose to have a habit of, but its still :/

penny: like ^^ above, i really do feel bad for her and wish i can help her but her problems are way out of anyone’s hands

pierre: i dont like this guy. i don’t like how he sells people my things i sell to him, but claims its from him? anyone else get that message from the villagers?? 

robin: she’s super neat and i wish she’d dump demetrius for me

sam: KING!!!!!!!! <3 FAVORITE SKATER BOYFRIEND

sandy: she is sooo gorgeous and sweet and why cant i romance her?

sebastian: um. ok. he’s there i guess. like ya, i wish people respected him more via his work as a programmer and that he does deserve affection from his parents but like. im actually not a fan of him

shane: grrr i love him and i want whats best for him and he has the saddest heart events and deserves the world and is only mean because it reflects his own self hatred and </3

vincent: so valid... idk if its my expanded dialogue mod or in general but when he calls me auntie and calls me his favorite adult (don’t tell mom!) i literally... go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!

wizard: how about you stop looking thru that crystal ball and look at me <3

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues for @thesweetkeenlife

1x1

Red: Evidently someone with the authority to make decisions has arrived. I think I smell the stench of your cologne, Agent Cooper. Smells like hubris.

Red: You got rid of your highlights. You look much less Baltimore.

1x3

Red: So you went with the gray?

1x4

Red: That’s a pretty blouse.

1x7

Red: Agent Keen, I have a tip. You’re a winter, not an autumn. Stop wearing olive.

Red: You’d look positively radiant in a Guayabera dress. I know a little shop in Reston. We could stop before our flight.

Red: I brought you a souvenir. What’s your feeling about guava? Liz: Anxiety. Red: Oh, you’re in for a treat.

1x8

Red: I don’t know how you do it. I had that done once. I couldn’t bear the tickling.

Maltz: Ray, look at you. You look great. I mean, the elasticity is amazing. You been juicing? Red: Beets, mostly. Some celery, carrots, a lot of ginger. The kale makes me dyspeptic.

Red: I find it so reassuring - the movie stars, the pop singers. They really are just like the rest of us.

1x9

Red: Donald, never let it be said that I valued a Zegna Venticinque tie over a human life, even yours.

1x11

Red: Janice, my sincerest apologies. I’ll take a rain check on the Stroganoff. It smells delicious.

1x12

Red: We brought a little something for Julian - a care package. It’s a Tibetan singing bowl. What do we have here? Some jackfruit, vitamin D, kola nuts. But we’ve got to get him to eat more protein. He looks like hell. He isn’t vegan, is he? Anyway, I’ve also included a couple of my favorite Richard Pryor records. I want to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings. I mean, Julian looks so crabby all the time. House arrest can be grueling. Borakove: Didn’t you spend, like, four months - in Phonthong? Red: Seven. Borakove: How did you survive? Red: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.

Red: If I tell you, you have to promise me you’ll try the fertilized duck eggs. It’s a daring and unique dining experience. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to hell.

1x14

Red: Who decided on this paneling?

Red: You smell nice. Something new?

Red: Wow! And I like your clutch.

1x17

Red: This piroshki is delicious.

1x18

Red: I come bearing gifts - pimento cheese sandwiches, toasted with the crusts cut off. Eartha Kitt’s recipe. It’s a fantastic story.

2x1

Red: It looks so soft. Shea butter?

2x2

Red: Lizzy! I’d like to introduce you to my manicurist, Rosa Heredia. She’s the one I was telling you about, who was dating that nine-fingered bullfighter from Juarez. This woman is an artist, trained at the Latin-American school of medicine in Havana.

2x11

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. She’s gonna miss the most tantalizingly delicious khorem baklava.

2x12

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. Dendrobium? Ruth: My own hybrid. I call them “Snows of Everest.” Red: Lovely.

2x14

Red: You've changed your hair.

Red: Come on. I got to be worth as much as that fake Xuande Ming vessel was. Yaabari: 18. Red: Sorry, Santos, but those cat’s eye Chrysoberyls are brown, not green. An expensive forgery, but a forgery nonetheless. 20!

3x1

Red: I must say, your hair, the way it frames your face is very becoming.

3x2

Red: You have no idea what I’ve offered Chui to divulge the secret of this recipe. He won’t say. I suspect it has something to do with how he beats his eggs.

3x6

Red: I love mauve, but a soft creamy yellow will just open up the entire room.

3x8

Red: You didn’t find anything. Jilly found it ’cause you’re too dense to even look for it. No wonder Cash doesn’t trust you with anything more important than babysitting. T-bone: That’s big talk coming from a g-guy who’s -

3x12

Red: Yeah. Oh, I should probably mention, I booked a pregnancy massage for you. She’ll be here at 9:00. Her name’s Edwina, she’s a registered nurse, and she smells absolutely divine. I hope it goes with the rest of your stuff. I’m told it pulls out.

3x13

Red: I se your new home is a work in progress. What colors are you considering?

3x17

Red: Came together rather nicely. They went with ruby fringe tulips and pink peonies.

3x20

Red: I was just imagining young Katarina covered in glitter. As an adult, it’s easy to dismiss this stuff as girlish frivolity. You forget the wonder it creates, the light captured, secret wishes evoked. It renders even the darkest days sparkly. Never underestimate the power of glitter.

3x21

Red: They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness, while presenting just one means bad luck is on the horizon.

4x7

Red: You looked absolutely ravishing the other night. What do you do to stay in such incredible shape? Calisthenics? Or Jazzercise? Maybe we should be workout partners. I’ll see you in dance class, Samar.

4x18

Red: So I get a babysitter now? I haven’t had a babysitter since Brenda Gilroy. My God, pot pies, Lawrence Welk, bath time with Brenda. Still my perfect Saturday night.

5x1

Smokey: Sorry it took so long. Once I knew Humberto had your African friend and his chums in transpo, I stopped for some Bengay ointment. Think I overdid it with my back. Red: I use Epsom salt baths.

5x2

Red: Oh, my goodness. Look at those Guan vases. And that flatware. Did you know Nancy Reagan - She could dress a table specifically for that night’s guest at a moment’s notice. Russian Silver for a tea with Gorbachev, Italian silver stag-head stirrup cups for a last-minute supper with Sinatra. Can you imagine?

Liz: What color is that, pumpkin? It looks like a pumpkin. Red: His wife says it’s Tuscan Sunset.

5x10

Red: Paris, I’d like you to meet Elizabeth. Paris and I first met when he was a saucier at La Bernadin. Liz: Pleasure to meet you. Paris: Shall I set a third place for lunch? Liz: No, thank you. Red: You may want to think twice. He’s making a turbot with a matsutake mushroom broth.

5x12

Red: What makes her happy? Does she like a good foot massage?

5x15

Red: Maybe a massage parlor. The athletes would love it!

5x16

Red: Mr. Garvey, might I suggest you enjoy what little time you have left - crab cakes, scalp massages, perhaps a double feature of “The 400 Blows” and “Jules and Jim” - whatever floats your boat. Do it now, because I will find those bones, and when I do, I’m gonna kill you.

5x17

Red: I hope you have indigestion. Liz: No. But if it makes you feel better, I’m in a bad mood. Red: Excellent! Dembe: He’s making fenugreek porridge. My ancestors learned that it can cure a troubled stomach and soothe aches and pains. Red: Medicinal South Sudanese cuisine. Liz: Cooking it up in their embassy’s kitchen. Aren’t you living large?

5x19

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

Red: What’s that smell? Is that lavender?  And mint. Is that your head? What kind of products do you use? I’m dying of curiosity. Garvey: Wouldn’t that be nice. Red: You smell that? Dembe: Yes. It’s lovely. Red: I’ll say. Absolutely lovely. Whatever it is, you and I need to get some.

5x22

Red: Oh. A lightweight merino. Super 120, natural stretch. I swear by it.

Waters: So, what do you think of this one? Red: Oh, John, yes. I like that. But go with the Snowy River Collection in the Glen Urquhart plaid. It worked for the Duke of Windsor. And, just my opinion, consider a vest. Waters: You think? Are vests in again? Red: Vests have never been out.

6x4

Vega: Yeah. I also got the blade that’s gonna carve you like a pumpkin. Red: Jack-o’-lantern. Vega: Huh? Red: A pumpkin is a gourd. A jack-o’-lantern is the carved pumpkin. Either way, it doesn’t matter. I knew what you meant.

6x5

Baldwin: One. I arrested that man there, in the navy-blue suit. Sima: May the record reflect the witness has identified the defendant. Red: Uh, o-objection. Judge Wilkins: Grounds? Red: The suit is actually a prunelle weave blue with a subtle overlay of red. So in the right light, it goes quite plum.

[fedine]

Hey answer all of those

I told you guys it would happen! I’m putting it all under a cut.

moon: what is your astrological sign?

Virgo!

gingerbread: your moral alignment

I struggle with whether or not I’m ‘chaotic’ or ‘lawful’ a lot, so I usually just settle for ‘Neutral Good’

birdseed: family or friends?

Hmm, this is a tough one always, because I love both a lot, but sometimes when it comes down to it one group is going to be healthier than the other for me to be around at certain times.

sheets: your sexual orientation

Bisexual! I am polyamorous too, but I’m in a very very happy monogamous relationship, and I plan to keep it that way.

warm milk: when do you usually fall asleep?

Usually after 12 AM, and normally before 6 AM, but it depends on what the boyfriend and I watch on Netflix that night, since we’re doing that now, or how long we decide to role play for.

pot of honey: your gender identity

Oof, this is a really hard one for me, because I’ve been questioning stuff again. I normally fall into that “feminine” category, because that’s how I present, but I am really unsure of how I actually feel on that matter on a deeper level, you know?

snow: what is your favorite time of year and why?

Autumn-Winter... It’s not even Summer yet right now, and it was 100 degrees Fahrenheit outside today. That time of year just has my favorite days/holidays too! I’d say starting in September (mine and my boyfriend’s anniversary and my birthday) until probably February (Valentine’s Day)? I think that’s when all the fun stuff is!

yarn: what are your most enjoyable hobbies?

I love repainting/customizing dolls, and I would love to get back into it! I had plans to start a little Etsy shop and a YouTube channel for it, but things haven’t gone well for that lately, so I just play a lot of World of Warcraft! Currently, I have a goal to start dual/multiboxing two Mistweaver Monks, AND raid on them (without wiping the raid). It’s gonna be tough, I know, especially in a raiding environment, but I figure if someone can 20+ box a team of Paladins in Emerald Nightmare successfully, I can handle two healers.

bicycle: what are you talented at?

I’m pretty alright at art! I used to be a great jazz bassist, but I haven’t played in years at this point.

folktale: what stories remind you of your childhood?

I don’t really have many that do, if any at all, because I don’t remember a lot of my childhood.

woods: where do you feel at peace?

I feel really at peace in... Skyrim, of all games. Usually just wandering around, exploring out in the wilderness. It really is a beautiful game, landscape wise. I also really like this one spot in the Grizzly Hills/Howling Fjord in World of Warcraft, this tiny clearing in the mountains with a tree and a couple of shrubs where my boyfriend and I go to RP a couple of my personal favorite characters. It’s where they set up camp! I like it a lot! There’s a few other places like that in WoW that have huge sentimental value to me, but if I went over every single one I’d have a massive post here!

chicken feet: what is your emotional “flaw”?

Probably my hyper focusing tendencies that cause me to fixate so hard on one goal that I MUST see it through to the point of almost self destruction, or even worse, when I hyperfixate on too many things at once and it causes me to do that but faster.

red cheeks: what makes you nervous?

Oh jeez, asking stuff from my parents, or confronting them about stuff.

sunflower: what do you love and cherish?

Okay, this is going to sound so cheesy, but... Every single moment I spend with my boyfriend. We’ve spoken for well over 12 hours a day for almost every single say we’ve known each other, since we met formally in July of last year, but I have loved every single second. I really love my boyfriend, okay? Everyone knows.......

bells: what sounds are your favorite or calm you the most?

Oh, well, it’s in the title of this question! Brass and bronze bells are my favorite, especially the big ones!

turnip: what is a food you could eat everyday?

Spaghetti with meat in the sauce, be it meat balls or part of the sauce itself.

spit: do you get jealous easily?

Not really! I used to get more jealous about stuff, but I can’t really see myself in that position anymore, at least with like relationships.

mushroom: list unique things you like about yourself

Hmm, I gave this one some thought, but I really don’t think I have any individual traits that are “unique” because there are so many people in the world that probably display the exact same stuff like: ‘can draw well,’ or ‘can play bass nicely.’ It’s not individual unique traits that make someone unique because there really aren’t unique traits. It’s the combination of them that makes someone unique! Like bricks in a house! All of the bricks are the same, but the house isn’t.

cupboard: a good childhood memory

I remember fondly a time where I once spun a teacup ride on a carousel so fast once my younger sibling got sick. Wasn’t funny at the time but now that we’re like twelve or so years older it’s hilarious now.

eyebags: what do you think makes a person attractive?

U h... Well, I really like long, messy hair, and facial hair. Blue eyes, really tall... Accent....... Really sweet, kind of shy but gets louder and sillier when you get to know him.............

fallen log: something you’ve gotten over that you never thought you would

I honestly never thought I would get over this one relationship I had in 10th grade, but... I got over it... Boy did I get over it... And away from it... Thank Goodness....

dagger: your worst fear

Meeting someone specific from my past, probably.

whisper: do you have any secrets?

Just one really big one, really, but I’m slowly coming to terms with it.

wild boar: which person do you feel closest to?

My boyfriend! Though I also have two best friends, one of ten years, the other of two, and then my sibling is pretty close to me as well!

sweet: what candies or cakes are you fond of?

I love sour candies a lot, and vanilla cakes are my favorite! Ice cream cakes are amazing also.

footprints: do you remember your past lives?

I think I used to, if it’s a real thing that is. I’m still trying to figure that out about myself.

fur: name an animal you feel connected to

Oh man, there’s really so many, but I love dogs and cats, ravens and cockatoos, bees... The list continues.

vodka: do you drink?

Not at the moment, but I’m turning 21 in like 5 months.

sour cherry: an obscure tradition from your family?

We eat king crab around Christmas/New Years. Specifically king crab.

pine needles: what is your favorite scent?

For Valentine’s day, my boyfriend sent me his favorite jacket to wear, and I didn’t take it off for a while because it smelled like him, and I wanted to feel like he was there with me as much as I could. Gosh, I can’t wait to steal another jacket from him meet him for the first time.

heart-shaped: do you believe in love? are you in love?

YEAH, I REALLY DO, AND YEAH, I REALLY AM.

home: where do you dream of living?

Somewhere in California still, with guess-who living with me. I’d love it if my best friends could live nearby as well, but that’s unlikely. Still, it is a dream.

spice: list your favorite herbs

Oregano and Thyme, because I use them in my meatball recipe.

mud: something you’re insecure about but trying to love

My weight. Usually when I imagine what I look like to other people I don’t really imagine anything flattering or kind to myself, but I am trying to work through it. It’s something I kind of have to live with too, no matter what, since I haven’t been able to lose weight for a few years.

tobacco: do you have any addictions?

I play World of Warcraft non-stop for several hours on end every single day. I have been for over two years, which is the longest time in my life I have since I picked the game up ten years ago.

sock: how would you describe your clothing taste?

Expensive, and usually made for much thinner people. I really like the sweet lolita fashion style, but there are a few other styles I like. All still expensive though. Except for flannel + T-shirts. Those always look good together, and are pretty nice and casual enough for me.

cuckoo clock: are you a morning, a noon, or an evening person?

Evening! I usually wake up past noon, and it’s not until around three or four I get to talk to my boyfriend.

wooden fence: a favorite memory

When my boyfriend asked me out!!!! Gosh, I remember it so well. We were role playing together on those two particular characters probably for the... third? Fourth time ever? Well, he asked RIGHT before we were going to start, and all of the week before I kept getting nervous around him. I had decided I wasn’t going to pursue him (because... not going to lie, I thought he was gay for a while there) but every single time he addressed me in voice chat, ESPECIALLY when we were alone, I would tense up and ask myself, “Is he going to ask me out right now?” I had rehearsed what I wanted to say to him in the situation so that if/when it happened, I would be prepared, but I forgot how to talk when it actually happened! I even thought it wasn’t going to right then; it was the one time I thought he wasn’t going to ask. Well, I went silent a couple of seconds, hitting my push to talk button a few times while my mouth hung open. I did say yes though! Both times, because he asked again after I said yes the first time! 

[isakthedragon]

A Dragon Sized Adventure Chapter 36

Chapter 36: Whether Rain or Snow

*The next terrarium on the list is the Forest Terrarium. This place has more than just forests though. It also has rivers and even a few mountains.*

Knuckles: "Hmm... a forest. I wonder where we are."

Crash: "I think this terrarium is representing the forest on our home island."

Coco: "Yeah, it looks like it."

Spyro: "So we get to explore your home. Nice."

-----

Level 51: Forest Fumble

*Cortex appears.*

Cortex: "Well, you guys are lucky that I have somewhat of a conscious of taking Nina away. But don't think I will be so generous next time." *He disappears.*

Crates: 147

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:25.00

Gold: 1:20.00

Platinum: 1:15.00

Spikes to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Amy

Badniks: Army-dillo: They are mostly just pests walking around and taking up space. Some wear armor to protect them that needs to be broken before they can be destroyed. Sawtle / Spiketle: Cybernetic turtles that have saws on their backs to prevent them from being hit from the top or spikes on their sides to prevent a touch from the side. Vulture: They look normal, but are actually cybernetic underneath. They swoop down and attack anything that approaches.

Beasts: Turtles: *Waddle Waddle* Crabs: *SNAP!* Venus Fly Traps: Already determined to be dangerous enough to not need a badnik flair. It will eat anything that comes by, even Crash.

Mutants: The Ratnicians: Lab Rat minions that have gone ravenous on the island since Cortex left them there. They are unstable to be around and can attack without warning. Spike: Was a Porcupine + Crab hybrid, but is now a Porcupine + Hedgehog + Echidna Hybrid. Eggman decided it needed hedgehog and echidna DNA so that it would make fun of Sonic (And the other hedgehogs) and Knuckles. Other than still raising spikes from the ground and having better claws, they are dangerous to touch in the air since they roll into a ball.

Ah, Crash's home, sweet, home. But there is no time to reminisce and enjoy the scenery, we have got work to do. It's a nice and simple walk trough the forest under a heavy rain. The only dangerous obstacles to note are the rolling rock traps that you have to time to avoid and the pits of Ratnicians. If you fall in, you have to kill them all to get a mushroom to escape. The level ends in front of a large, wooden-pole wall.

Achievement Unlocked: Soaked Bandicoot

-----

Level 52: Papu Papu's Village

Crates: 138

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:35.00

Gold: 1:30.00

Platinum: 1:25.00

Spikes to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Big

Beasts?: Natives: Papu Papu's tribesmen seem to be very hungry for anything that comes by, so you may want to avoid them at all costs or hurt them.

Looks like have made ourselves to Papu Papu's domain and it doesn't look particularly pleasing in here. The natives have plenty of traps about to try and catch anything that comes by. Then you'll be making your way through their huts, avoiding the natives' spears and other sharp things. Unfortunately, we find ourselves ending up in Papu Papu's hut, and he isn't happy to see us.

Mini-boss: Papu Papu

His fight shouldn't be too tough. All he does is try to trip you with his staff until he tires of doing it and tries to whack you with the staff. If he misses, that is your time to hit him back. Do this 3 times to win. (Note: If you go super, he will go down quick.)

Afterwards you can leave his hut and head to the river just a little bit ahead.

Achievement Unlocked: *Witch Doctor Noises*

-----

Level 53: Waterfallin'

Crates: 153

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:30.00

Gold: 1:25.00

Platinum: 1:20.00

Spikes to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Vector

Beasts: Piranha: They are hungry for bandicoot.

Our trek now has us climbing up these rivers and waterfalls to get distance away from the village and to get close to the mountain. There is good news that you can't drown in the river, you're just pushed back down the river. Still, it's probably better to keep on the stones, bridges. and stuff that are on the river. The level ends near the mountain on a path you can get off to.

Achievement Unlocked: Don't Go Chasing 'Em

-----

Level 54: Bee Wary

Crates: 178

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:45.00

Gold: 1:40.00

Platinum: 1:35.00

Spikes to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Knuckles

Badniks: Lumberjack Lab Assistant Pawns: They mostly walk around trying to hammer you. Why do they look like Eustace Baag? Hunter Lab Assistant Pawns: Dressed in Safari clothes, they are hunting for 'wabbits'*. *Wabbits = you 

Beasts: Bees: *BUZZ, BUZZ!* Venus Fly Traps: The ones here on the mountain spit grenades at you.

Now you find yourself on the base of the mountain, and it's time to start climbing it. It would be easy if it weren't for those beehives spread out among the trees on the path. They send out bees off and on to try and sting you. If they feel a little overwhelming, you can dig into the ground to escape bees as they will leave soon after.

Achievement Unlocked: A Buzzing Concern

-----

Level 55: Into Crash Air

Crates: 184

Time Trial

Sapphire: 1:50.00

Gold: 1:45.00

Platinum: 1:40.00

Spikes to Save: 5

Helping Partner: Rouge

You continue on from the halfway point of the mountain, but soon the paths run out. They only way to get higher is to ride on top of those Cortex hot air balloons that are floating about. They are quite bouncy to jump on, but don't get too unfocused as you might miss them and fall to your death. About hallway through is a death route path of floating balloons to get to the 2nd gem in this level, the Green gem. At the end of this path is a platform to take you back to the original path so you can move on. The level ends on the huge balloon above the mountain top, which is shown to be a water-filled caldera.

Achievement Unlocked: 99 Crash Mugs

-----

*Crash and Rouge find themselves inside the water-filled caldera in the terrarium on a large platform..*

Rouge: "Hmm? Why did we warp here, Crash?"

Crash: "Probably whoever Cortex has sent next after us."

Ripper Roo reveals himself behind his desk on a nearby stone.  "Why, Crash, do you see as such a simple henchman?"

Crash: "Well, Ripper Roo, it's not like you are very smart. You go crazy with explosives, quite literally."

Ripper Roo: "Perhaps so, but Cortex loves that unpredictability." *He grabs his cane.*

Rouge: "I'm confused. What does he do?"

Crash: "He tries to blow me up with Nitro and TNT crates."

Ripper Roo: "I just love the smell of nitroglycerin. Besides, I'm not crazy anymore. See, no straightjacket." *He shows his free arms.*

Crash screams as he notices something falling from the air.

Ripper Roo: "What?" *A TNT counting down falls in his hands. 3... 2... 1... BOOM!*

Rouge: "Oh, my! Is he okay?"

Crash: "He's had worse, but watch out. He's dangerous."

Ripper Roo starts losing his posh accent as he goes crazy. "Oh, dangerous does not begin to describe me!" *He does his demented laugh as he bounces on his cane to the main platform.*

Boss: Ripper Roo

Ripper Roo seems to regress to his old tricks by hopping around on his cane, setting TNTs behind him that count down from 9. Try to find the area he misses as they explode. When it hits him, it will throw off his protective clothes, showing his yellow hair. Then he will go crazy with his cane, setting Nitros everywhere. Find the avoid spot before he blows them up with a jump. This will stun him, letting you attack him and take out some health. Do this 2 more times to defeat him.

Achievement Unlocked: ♪ He Bounces Like Crazy! ♫

*Ripper Roo collapses and is transported away. Rouge flies Crash out to their friends below. They leave the terrarium.*

Death Head's / Space Egg's Bridge

Eggman: "Why did you make Ripper Roo do that? I know it makes him crazy, but still!"

Cortex: "Eh, I was quickening the inevitable. To be honest, Ripper Roo isn't my best henchman.

Eggman mutters: "I'm starting to regret this."

*Just then, Pinstripe comes in from the elevator.*

Pinstripe: "Yo, Cortex, is it-a my time yet? My gun is itching for-a shootin'."

Cortex: "Yes, Pinstripe, it's your turn. Transport! Take him away."

Pinstripe: "I shall do my best to make them Swiss cheese!" *He is transported to the next Terrarium.*

Next Time: "I won't say nuthen about the 1930's Terrarium-" *Is shot.*

[easybakeaigis]

I was tagged to do this Q&A thing by Caneton (idk why but it won’t let me @ you).

1: Are you named after someone? No, but at least one of the names my parents considered was after an ancestor. I think it was Kurt?

2: When was the last time you cried? Oh boy it was at least six weeks ago. After working for several months with my cousin cleaning pools together, I was eventually promoted to driving my own van. One day I was cleaning a pool alone and I just got this random nostalgic feeling about the conversations my cousin and I would have on the job and I missed him and teared up a bit it was dumb

3: Do you like your handwriting? I’ve described my method of writing as “broken-handed” since I write nearly all of my letters from bottom-to-top instead of top-to-bottom. If I rush writing it’s really bad, but if I take my time it’s neat enough.

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? Black forest ham.

5: Do you have kids?                                                                                             No.

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yeah, but I’d imagine being just as annoyed with myself as I already am on frequent occasion.

7: Do you use sarcasm? I used to be really sarcastic in middle school, but it backfired because I would be too deadpan in my delivery. This created problems since people didn’t know whether or not to take me seriously, even when I wanted to be. So I decided to stop.

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yeah. The only surgeries I’ve had were to remove my wisdom teeth (I only had three) and to remove a toothpick from my foot (kicked my sister in the face while fighting over a piece of chocolate we found in our mom’s purse).

9: Would you bungee jump? Bungee jumping is too sketchy since they never really know the right length of cord to use. I would skydive if given the chance.

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? In general I enjoy bland cereals like Rice Crispies or Chex/Crispix. Other than that, I really like the S’mores cereal and Count Chocula. I don’t get cereal often because combined with buying milk, it’s a big commitment for me to eat it all before either one goes bad.

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Whenever I get a new pair of shoes I try to make it a habit to take them off by untying them, but I eventually just start kicking them off after a while.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? I think the only reason I’ve never been “jumped” in middle or high school was because I was like a foot taller than everyone else. Physically strong, yeah sure. Mentally and spiritually strong depends on my level of spite towards the opposing force.

13: What is your favourite ice cream? Ever, ever? I’m a boring chocolate custard guy.

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? Hair. It’s a point of ridicule amongst my friends and I that I somewhat melt in the presence of a cute girl with a pixie cut.

15: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Cosmetically, I would like to be more toned. Practically, I wish my eyes didn’t have a degenerative disorder in the form of keratoconus.

16: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? I’m wearing a blue and white checkered pair of shorts I usually wear for work. No shoes currently.

17: What are you listening to right now? Silence, but I have the Star Trek Voyager theme stuck in my head even though I haven’t even watched the series yet.

18: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I was obsessed with gold and treasure when I was like five so Golden Rod used to be my favorite. Now would probably just be green.

19: Favorite smell? Apple cinnamon, fresh baguettes, old books

20: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My cousin. I was asking him if he had noticed a customer’s pool pump was dead last week and he said no.

21: Favorite sport to watch? Baseball and football

22: Hair color?                                                                                                        Brown

23: Eye color? Brown

24: Do you wear contacts? The nature of my current job always has chemicals and water splashing into my face, so I only wear them on the weekends. I wear a soft one in my right eye and a hard one in my left since it’s the one most affected by keratoconus.

25: Favorite food to eat? I can eat a slice of pizza from Mellow Mushroom any time, any day of the week. Cheese burgers, crab legs, fried shrimp, boneless honey bbq wings. There’s a Chinese restaurant less than two miles from my home that has my all-time favorite General Tso.

26: Scary movies or comedy?                                                                             Scary movies ARE comedy.

27: Last movie you watched? Last movie I watched completely was Hidden Figures about a month ago. More recently, I tried to watch the Ralph Bakshi animated Lord of the Rings and was bored after 90 minutes.

28: What color of shirt are you wearing? A navy blue blood donation shirt I use for work, stained and bleached from chlorine.

29: Summer or winter? Winter has better options for fashion, and I like being warm and bundled up against the cold. However, having to work outside in winter has made me dislike it as of late.

30: Hugs or kisses? I enjoy kissing more if it’s someone I’m intimate with.

31: What book are you currently reading? pffffffffft I’ve technically started like four different books, one of which I’ve already read before. The one I’ve made the most progress in is I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream by Harlan Ellison. I most recently completed Squirrel Girl Beats Up the Marvel Universe, if that counts.

33: What is on your mouse pad? This is 2017. I have an optical mouse.

34: What is the last TV program you watched? I’m watching through Star Trek: The Next Generation on Netflix. Discounting that, it was The Grand Tour.

35: What is the best sound?                                                                                 Thunderstorms, specifically sporadic rain splashing against the window of my room back home in Florida.

36: Rolling stones or The Beatles? My love for The Beatles is the most honkey thing about me.

37: What is the furthest you have ever travelled? I’ve been to Belize on a cruise when I was about 14 or 15, so that’s the furthest out of country. In-country was to Connecticut.

38: Do you have a special talent? I can fold a dollar bill into a ring!

39: Where were you born? Florida

I tag everyone idk DO IT

[aigoootome]

Stardew faves - a list

[earlier post - tumblr was giving me trouble creating it] When I started the game, I missed harvest moon. I didn’t think i’d come to enjoy Stardew as much as I have. The game really does really well on the breadth of things to do, the quests, the tasks and upgrades and of course planning and designing the farm along with trying a few different farm maps and overall feeling of wamth and community. There are a few characters I’m glad to have come to love. 

 This is really just a list of characters and in-game forageable or grown etc items that i like. I’ve made it because I felt like it, because it’s part of my process of enjoying the game. I might edit it later to add or remove some things. The list is accompanied by screenshots that might be a little spoilerific.  

[Favourite characters ]

Harvey. is my most favourite. I adore him and that’s that, Without him, i feel like I might have been FAR less keen on this game. His heart events are golden and have everything about them that I like. Harvey is a wise and warm guy and I really love his lines. 

Demetrius - modded by Haywrites, it brought out the character’s personality btter but I loved him in vanilla too. 

Linus - modded by Haywrites

Jas

Shane - I also use some mods for him but in vanilla there was something that made me relate to him and think warmly about him too.  

Kent

Penny

Grandpa

Eliott - also modded / dialogue - expansion mods

Gus

Willy - modded by...Haywrites. I sincerely enjoy that modder’s efforts. 

Evelyn and George - I really adore them! 

wizard - Haywrites mod. Thanks to Haywrites, he has some really interesting tales to tell. 

Jumino

Dwarf -haywriites mod. Dwarf puts the farmer through trial of rejection first, an interesting idea, thoug i don’t always like his new lines but the overall feel is...haywrites made him more interesting. 

Krobus

There is potential in some others: Pierre sounds like he has stories to tell. Apprently he also practices opera singing - is he any good? Again, this character has a potential for a mod rewrite to give him more stories to tell. 

Shop keepers

ancient mariner

Travelling cart

Gunther

[Favourite season]

Spring and Fall, especially with Starblue Valley mod – the colours are so much better than in vanilla.

This is ali’s foraging map mod - for the forest farm. The area  which normally would have been a cliff felt empty so I planted some trees and felt happy to make Harvey a nice little corner to read like this so in the end decided to keep the mod. 

[Favourite items - chest of treasures]

Mermaid’s pendant

Bouquet

hardwood

fiddlehern

rainbow shell

nautilius shell and fossil

coral

hazlenut

Crystal Fruit

Snow yam

fairy rose

Ancient fruit

Sweet gem berry

Starfruit 

Stardrop - max energy increase, permanent.

cave carrot

winter root

blue jazz

dandelion

strawberry

sunflower 

duck feather 

rabbit’s foot

pomengranate (tree) 

cherry tree - in spring

purple mushroom

morel

amaranth  

iridium ore / bar 

quartz

prismatic shard

omni geode

frozen tear 

emerald

jade

aquamarine

diamond 

solar esence

fairy stone

ocean stone

star shards

golden pumpkin

pearl

lost books 

Dwarf Scroll 

Ancient seed 

Ancient drum

dried starfish

bone flute

ornamental fan

golden mask 

Pets / animals

dog – different fun mods available that transform a boring dog sprite into somethng more custom. I am currently using  Dawn’s Shiba Inu-   because they also took care to modify the icons. Such detail. 

blue chicken 

dinosaur  

rabbit 

goat - with deer mod! 

cow 

pig  - esp. With better pig mod – the pig becomes much prettier

horse – with mods, i currently use better horses and it gives an option to confgure which horse you want. I love that. prettier, much prettier horses. 

[tools / decor ] 

lightning rod 

auto grabber + deluxe auto grabber mod [for coop and/or greenhouse-helps a lot] 

Crystalarium 

keg

Stone of perfection 

Stone of fortune

iridium sprinkler 

chest / dark craftables – Eemi’s mod

recycle bin

singing stone

stardew hero trophy 

all rarecrows

stone owl

seasonal decor

stone jumino

[buildings] 

Wizard’s warp totems 

Golden clock

[furniture]

Standing Geode,

dried sunflowers 

jade hills 

a night on eco hill 

dresser the one for kisekae mod

bonsai tree

1000 years from now

stump seat

sun / moon table 

puzzle table

mahogany tea table

china cabinet

artist book case / luxury book case / modern book case

gold pillar

manicured pine

globe

model ship

world map

small crstal

house plants

mahogany end table

grandkother end table

tree of the winter star

any of the lamps

red rug

needlepoint flower

little photos

house calenda

nautical rug

tree column

iridium fireplace

crystal chair

starlit wallapaper and flooring

[accessories and hand tools ]

glow ring

return scepter

pan for panning

iridium band

magnet ring 

space boots 

galaxy sword 

warp totems

dressed spinner / treasure hunter

tiara

delicate bow

butterfdly bow

santa hat

lucky bow

[Favourite fish]

legend 

sppok fish

squid  

midnght squid

rainbow trout

woodskip

sturgeon

ice pip

salmon

ghostfish

catfish

crisomfish

albacore

[Favourite dishes ]

mostly the ones with perks :)

Complete Breakfast 

lucky lunch

fried mushroom

fish taco

sashimi

pepper poppers

bean hotpot

pancakes

Tom kha soup

pumpkin soup

maki roll

red plate

eggplant parmesan

Autumn’s bounty

pumpkin soup

super meal

cranberry sauce

stuffing

farmer’s lunch

survival burger

dish o the sea

miner’s treat

roots platter

stir fry

pumpkin pie

fruit salad

coleslaw

fddlehead risotto

lobster bisque

escargot

fish strew

maple bar

crab cakes

[Favourite Areas] 

Secret  woods

Harvey’s room above the clinic

Mountains

Community Center

deep fishing area during night market

fishing levels in the mines 

Ice levels 

three pillars in the desert

Shore  

shore during night market

Grenhouse at the farm

cellar at the farm

Farm

Favourite farm map

Standard – for lots of customization 

Hilltop – for the ores 

Forest - foraging fun

Favourite music

Many. The OST is very nicely done and matches the game / seasons / events https://concernedape.bandcamp.com/album/stardew-valley-ost

. Featured fave track - Grapefruit sky  (Harvey’s theme)

Stardew Valley Overture 

Fall – Raven’s descent] 

Fall – Ghost Synth 

Fall -the smell of mushrooms 

Dance of the moonlight jellies 

Shane’s theme 

Music box song 

pleasant memry 

in the deep woods 

flower dance 

buttercup melody

Echos

spring – the valley comes alive  / wild horseradish jam /it;s a big world outside

a stillness in the rain / duet

a golden star is born

submarine

mermaid

night market

winter (ancient) / the wind can be still / nocturne of ice

a sad story

a dark corner of the past

settling in

Favurite events

Harvey’s heart events

Grandpa’s evaluation

a bear’s wisdom 

Birthday mod 

getting mail from villagers

getting random money from Lewis

Moonlight jellies 

Flower dance 

Wedding 

Night market in winter

Feast of the Star 

Favourite Quests 

Community Center 

Secret Notes 

Lost Books

Artifacts

daily quests

[whiterabbitpeak]

Langkawi.

A postcard perfect island paradise

Captains Log Day 7 - 30/12/16 6:32pm. AirAsia Flight AK6321.

Escaping Pagoda life after several delays, gate changes and frantic bowel movements we were able to keep the innards of the captain’s stomach confined. We arrived at the island of Langkawi late and exhausted. Wikipedia break – Langkawi is officially known as Jewel of Kedah, is an archipelago of 104 islands in the Andaman Sea, some 30km off the mainland coast of northwestern Malaysia.

After some initial hotel drama and a few phone calls to the Expedia pirates we were able to check in to our hotel. The clock had already stuck 10 and our options for food and intoxication were limited. In the spirt of adventure and despite the exhaustion, the Admiral and Captain went on a scout mission to explore the newfound land. The Captains 48-hour food poisoned fast was concluded with a mushroom soup and small personal pan pizza at Pizza hut. The first observation of the island was that of the reappearance of indoor kitchens and the concept of refrigeration of perishable goods. Feeling the energy slowly re-enter his body, his stomach was getting reacquainted with it role in breaking down food matter.

The first day on the island started once again with skipping breakfast, we were soon planning our adventures for the next few days. This Island had a LOT to do and explore. So without wasting any time on food, or any other necessities we were off and first up was the mighty Langkawi Cable car complex. The cable car takes you to a view point that is 708m above sea-level and is about 5 °C cooler than the lowlands. The total length is 2.2 km - The gradient or the slope between the Base Station and the Middle Station is said to be the second steepest in the world at 42°, right after Israel's Rosh HaNikra cable car. Here the views were special. Just breath-taking. #nowords (you might get this hashtag a few times in this log), photos, selfies and everything touristy later, we headed down and explored the remainder of the complex. First up was a Sky Dome which was a half dome like ceiling cinema – here we were shown a random film of us on a rollercoaster on mars – the graphics resembled rollercoaster tycoon 2 (a game released in 2002). Keeping the kids entertained we got into it and started putting our arms in the air and yelling as if we were in a normal rollercoaster. I don’t think the Adults in the show understood. Next up was the Sky Rex. A 3D ride which might be a law suit waiting to happen if the Jurassic park franchise find out. A train that’s taken to a 360-degree cinema in which we watch 3d movie Dinosaur park malfunction with T-Rex attacking our little car as it moved about on the spot. Once again the Adults did not appreciate the Admiral and Captain yelling about like the children. The last attraction to visit was the 3d art gallery. Known as Art in Paradise, this is the largest 3D art museum in Malaysia and the second largest in the world. Despite the Captain’s constant cringing at the tourist poses amongst the artwork, the Admiral managed to get in the mood and take a few engulfing art photographs. Finishing up a day’s worth of activities we left the complex only to see a road sign pointing to the Seven Wells waterfalls. Despite the heat and the 600 steps we had to endure the Admiral and Captain were hiking up to the waterfalls, here the Admiral took a quick dip as the Captain lulled around exhausted in the shade. Just when you thought that the day was packed enough, we were on-board a taxi to Cenang Beach, the tourist hub of Langkawi. This place was a girl’s best friend, shopping left right and centre, the next few hours was dedicated to grabbing gifts and pushing the haggling to the limit. Although there was an instance when the Admiral requested the shop keeper to lower the price to MYR10 when the item was only MYR5 #nowords. The day finished up with some Indian food at a restaurant which had rats, getting overcharged and a 50% surcharge on the cab ride home due to the late night fees.

Day 2 of Island life started early, this time we snuck in a running breakfast as our pickup arrived to take us away to the MegaSports jet ski tour. The jet ski tour consisted of 12 participants and 2 instructors. The tour involved you to pilot your own jet ski for 5 hours, as you hit the open ocean to visit 8 islands around Langkawi. This has to be one of my favourite experiences of my life, I cannot explain how fun it was #nowords. Open Ocean. Personal Jet ski. Top speed: 70 KM per hour. Recommended speed: 60kmph. Choppy ocean waters. Summer Sun. Most beautiful water. Picturesque surroundings. The Captain and Admiral were in heaven. Born to pirate, the next 5 hours involved almost capsizing 6 times, multiple instances of the jet ski feeling like it’s going to break, large portions of airtime and constant yelling at the top of our lungs. At some point the Captain, despite warnings from the tour operators discovered how to change the jet ski into sports mode, what ensued was a lot more airtime and a significant more amount of yelling from the Admiral. We were able to swim in a freshwater lake, swim in the ocean, see a random monkey fight break out and take some open water selfies. This is a MUST do for any visitor to Langkawi. Despite the instructor warning us to keep re-applying sunscreen the Admiral disembarked the jet ski looking like a lobster. Her legs looking like the Harvey Dent of Langkawi - half burnt to a crisp and the other half, white like a line of the Colombia’s finest. Up next was SkyTrex – a Jungle obstacle course. Unfortunately for the Admiral the words beginner or amateur does not exist in the Captain’s vocabulary, Intermediate course was selected (l33t >  Noob). Challenging, physically exhausting, arms weak, palms are sweaty and if we continued even for 5 minutes more there would be vomit on his sweater already – mom’s spaghetti. The next 90 minutes were spent, climbing on ladders to the top of trees, crawling through nets, balancing over Highwire and Ziplining across treetops. All done 22 meters above ground, with safety clips that needed to be attached and detached to metal wires as you proceeded. This was tough. At times the Captain’s arms gave up and he just wanted to fall. Sweat reached points of his body he did not know it could venture. Yet both Admiral and Captain continued – completing the course in above average time. Completing the course felt like body pump, CrossFit and boot camp session combined and completed in 33 degrees blaring sun. Drenched, limp but not defeated the Captain and Admiral headed back to the hotel. The sheer adrenaline still pumping through us, we decided to walk up to the famous Langkawi eagle. Departing the hotel with a 25-minute walk timeframe in mind, the walk took an exhausting 70 minutes. Unimpressed by the giant statue of the eagle, we convinced the staff at Papa Rich to feed us and we headed back for a much-needed rest.

Breakfast was a miss again as we slept to give the body some time to heal. The Admiral had entered Lobster life, her legs resembling the local rambutans, the Captain’s shoulders had also been cooked but, unlike the admiral the pain was non-existent. Without wasting any time, we left to visit the secluded and beautiful beach of Tanjung Rhu. The sun in full form was bleaching the beach with its heat, we decided to find some shade and sit. Here the captain decided to change into his bathers without taking off his shorts, the challenge was great and the result was a commando style Captain.  it was not long before the the heat became uncomfortable, we went to the local ghetto food store (making sure they had electricity and a fridge), here both the Admiral and Captain managed to stomach some of the food presented. Post our semi eaten meals, the Captain heard the calling of water vessels – following his instinct both the Admiral and Captain ended up at the jetty and were able to convince a local sailor to show them around the famous Langkawi mangroves. We boarded the speedboat and were off, the feeling of the air hitting your face as you criuse the most beautiful landscape is incredible and not able to be captured by camera #nowords. We sailed around, being taken to see the sea eagles and the Langkawi eagles feasting on chicken skin, then off to see some monkeys as they boarded, and possibly overran another tourist vessel. Next up was the Crocodile cave - nope I was not able to feed the Admiral to crocodiles, as there were none or ever were any. Followed by a bat cave, no not ‘THE’ bat cave (disappointment on the Captain’s face was evident) where we saw some hanging rocks (stalactites) and bats!. There were bats just doing the bat thing (no not fighting crime). As we left the caves, the Captain heard something move in the water under him only to see a GIANT (3 meters long at least) lizard as it ran into the cave. Thinking this could be Marvel and DC crossover, he left it and the tour continued. Last up on the tour was the Fish farm. Here some crazy fish farm guy took us around as he picked up and held crabs, sharks, giant squids and the infamous pufferfish. Personally, the Captain thought the guy was going to die. The Admiral on the other hand, feeling adventurous, held the crab and proceeded to pat a Sting Ray (we may have a new Steve Irwin on our hands).  The slimy and sandpaper texture of the Stingray failed to impress the Admiral and the Captain grossed out, refused to touch her ever in his life. The tour done and dusted the crew headed back to base, a quick dip in a cold pool, some room service club sandwich later they were on their way to Cenang beach to indulge in the party life. Going first to the local night markets, which were a sea of colour for all senses. The smells indescribable, it was looking like pagoda life was sneaking back in. We then headed back to Cenang, here disaster lifted its ugly head – when the captain went to withdraw money, the ATM processed the withdrawal but didn’t give any cash out. A stressful time ensued contacting banks and raising disputes. Stay tuned to see how this pans out. Breaking away from the mood spoiling experience we ventured to the beach where we were jet skiing a few days ago, we found a very buzzing night life, with beach bars and shisha cafes littered across the landscape. The Admiral pointed out a bar which had beanbags – fascinated we took a seat and asked for the menu, 5 minutes later, the admiral was sipping on a mojito and holding the shisha pipe, whilst the captain had in his had a GIANT bucket of Vodka and lemonade. I have to take time out to explain how big this bucket was – it was DOUBLE the size of the ones in Thailand with 450 ml of Vodka. The next 4 hours consisted of shisha and bucket sipping. Finally getting up heavily intoxicated and stumbling out onto the Cenang strip, most places shutting for the night we decided to pay homage to our roots and do a drunk maccas run. Tip: when in Aisa do not order the Prosperity burger at McDonalds unless you are looking for Pepper in the middle of 2 burger buns. The night was over for both of us when we boarded the cab and struggled into our room collapsing on our beds and passing out.

Hung over from the Captains bucket idea and dedicated to not missing breakfast on our last day, we entered the dining halls of our hotel 15 minutes before the breakfast was over. Still tasting last night’s Mcdonalds burgers, we sipped on our coffees and hoped the chatter in the room would just cease. With 12 hours remaining before our flight we packed up and left our bags and ventured to visit the unimpressive eagle once again, hanging in the mall to avoid the sun. The Admiral found a park and we lay in the gazebo surrounded by geckos (5) that were planning a civil uprising (tensions were high when we left). Here we rested before grabbing some kababs for lunch and moving to Starbucks for some WiFi and dirty chai latte like the Captain has never had before (a chai teabag dipped in milk and 2 shots of coffee). With nothing exceptional to report from the last few hours of the Langkawi adventure we departed for the airport, knowing that the closing hours of 2016 were inching closer.  

[kiss-my-freckle]

Dialogues

A collection for you, @moreryanandjames

1x1

Red: You got rid of your highlights. You look much less … Baltimore.

1x3

Red: So, you went with the gray?

1x4

Red: That’s a pretty blouse.

1x7

Red: Agent Keen, I have a tip. You’re a winter, not an autumn. Stop wearing olive.

1x7

Red: You’d look positively radiant in a Guayabera dress. I know a little shop in Reston. We could stop before our flight.

1x7

Red: I brought you a souvenir. What’s your feeling about guava? Liz: Anxiety. Red: Oh, you’re in for a treat.

1x8

Red: I find it so reassuring the movie stars, the pop singers they really are just like the rest of us.

1x8

Red: I don’t know how you do it. I had that done once. I couldn’t bear the tickling.

1x8

Maltz: Yeah, sure. Give us a minute, please? Ray, look at you. You look great. I mean, the elasticity is amazing. You been juicing? Red: Beets, mostly. Some celery, carrots, a lot of ginger. The kale makes me dyspeptic.

1x9

Red: Donald, never let it be said that I valued a Zegna Venticinque tie over a human life, even yours.

1x9

Red: Donald! Donald! Feeling any wittier yet? Any strange cravings for Beluga caviar or Marcel Proust?

1x12

Red: If I tell you, you have to promise me you’ll try the fertilized duck eggs. It’s a daring and unique dining experience. You’ll think you’ve died and gone to hell.

1x12

Red: We brought a little something for Julian – a care package. It’s a Tibetan singing bowl. What do we have here? Some jackfruit, vitamin D, kola nuts. But we’ve got to get him to eat more protein. He looks like hell. He isn’t vegan, is he? Anyway, I’ve also --included a couple of my favorite Richard Pryor records. I want to try and inject a little levity into the proceedings. I mean, Julian looks so crabby all the time. House arrest can be grueling. Borakove: Didn’t you spend, like, four months - in Phonthong? Red: Seven. Borakove: How did you survive? Red: Naps. Occasional calisthenics.

1x14

Red: Wow! And I like your clutch.

1x14

Red: Who decided on this paneling?

1x14

Red: You smell nice. Something new?

1x18

Red: I come bearing gifts - pimento cheese sandwiches, toasted with the crusts cut off. Eartha Kitt’s recipe. It’s a fantastic story.

2x1

Red: Hello, Harold. Please apologize to Charlene, your side gate may need a new lock. A get-well present. It looks so soft. Shea butter?

2x2

Red: Lizzy! I’d like to introduce you to my manicurist, Rosa Heredia.

2x12

Red: Oh, that’s a shame. Dendrobium? Ruth: My own hybrid. I call them “Snows of Everest.” Red: Lovely.

2x14

Red: You’ve changed your hair.

2x14

Red: Come on. I got to be worth as much as that fake Xuande Ming vessel was. Sorry, Santos, but those cat’s eye Chrysoberyls are brown, not green. An expensive forgery, but a forgery nonetheless.

3x1

Red: I must say, your hair, the way it frames your face is very becoming.

3x6

Red: I love mauve, but a soft creamy yellow will just open up the entire room. We also need to land on cabinet options and millwork today.

3x12

Liz: I’m pregnant. Red: Yes. I’ve known for some time. Liz: How? Red: Everything. Your body, your skin, a look in your eyes, different tastes for different foods, nausea, distracted, moody.

3x12

Red: Oh, I should probably mention, I booked a pregnancy massage for you. She’ll be here at 9:00. Her name’s Edwina, she’s a registered nurse, and she smells absolutely divine.

3x14

Red: I see your new home is a work in progress. What colors are you considering?

3x14

Lady: Who the hell are you? Red: Her fairy godmother. I hear it’s her birthday. We’ve come to celebrate.

3x17

Red: They went with ruby fringe tulips and pink peonies. You’d be impressed.

3x20

Red: As an adult, it’s easy to dismiss this stuff as girlish frivolity. You forget the wonder it creates, the light captured, secret wishes evoked. It renders even the darkest days sparkly.

3x20

Red: I’d imagine it to be a challenge, playing Rachmaninoff’s C-sharp minor “Prelude” without the benefit of C-sharp.

3x21

Red: What a garden. I love daffodils. They say gifting a bouquet of daffodils ensures happiness, while presenting just one means bad luck is on the horizon.

4x7

Red: What do you do to stay in such incredible shape? Calisthenics? Or Jazzercise?

4x7

Red: Maybe we should be workout partners.

4x7

Red: I’ll see you in dance class, Samar.

4x18

Red: Ah! Springtime in Vienna. The market’s are a bit crowded, but the flowers - oh, my gosh. A simple walk to the U-Bahn is full of glory.

5x1

Hawkins: Who are you? Red: Your Fairy Godmother.

5x2

Red: Oh, my goodness. Look at those Guan vases. And that flatware. Did you know Nancy Reagan - She could dress a table specifically for that night’s guest at a moment’s notice. Russian Silver for a tea with Gorbachev, Italian silver stag-head stirrup cups for a last-minute supper with Sinatra. Can you imagine?

5x2 Liz: What color is that, pumpkin? It looks like a pumpkin. Red: His wife says it’s Tuscan Sunset.

5x3

5x3 Red: Shh. You hear that? There it is again. A piping plover. Their breeding grounds are along coastal beaches and alkali marshes, so to hear that bell-like call from a shorebird this far inland - my gosh, poor little fella must be lost.

Red: I use Epsom salt baths.

5x4  

Red: We were camping in the altogether under the most delightful autumn moon in the Forest of Dean when a wild pig came out of nowhere and gored my left flank, so to speak. And Melissa here not only slew the beast and salved my wound with a honey of - Dr. Lomay: Yarrow. Red: -yarrow compress, but also made the most scrumptious pork pie in the monarchy.

5x10

Paris: Shall I set a third place for lunch? Liz: No, thank you. Red: You may want to think twice. He’s making a turbot with a matsutake mushroom broth.

5x12

Red: I feel terrible, Mariko. I know it’s a small consolation, but I’ve made arrangements for you and Tadashi to stay in the hotel. A two-bedroom suite is yours until it’s safe for you to go back to your home. Room service, 24-hour spa, tickets to any of the shows in town. I hear there’s a revival of “The Music Man” that’s supposed to be marvelous.

5x12

Red: What makes her happy? Does she like a good foot massage?

5x15

Red: If only there were something you could do to help me think of a constructive way to develop the property. Any good ideas? Headmaster: No. Red: Really? Headmaster: Absolutely not. Red: Maybe a massage parlor. The athletes would love it!

5x16

Red: Mr. Garvey, might I suggest you enjoy what little time you have left - crab cakes, scalp massages, perhaps a double feature of “The 400 Blows” and “Jules and Jim” - whatever floats your boat.

5x18

Red: Excellent. I’ll be at the Louvre. When you’re done dotting your I’s and crossing your t’s, you can find me gazing in erotic wonder at the beauty and power of the Winged Victory of Samothrace.

5x19

Red: This apartment. Right here. Oh. My God. To have been the proverbial fly on Clyde Tolson’s duvet. Liz: Clyde Tolson lived here? J. Edgar Hoover’s lover? Red: This was their secret hideaway. Imagine the conversations. Cooing over JFK’s lovers. Slandering Dr. King. What peignoir to wear to bed. When I saw the apartment was for sale, I couldn’t resist. Liz: You own the apartment where the homophobic head of the FBI carried on his affair with his boyfriend? Red: Allegedly. I wouldn’t admit this in mixed company, but J. Edgar and I have a surprising amount in common. For instance, we both always get our man.

5x19

Waters: You look awfully comfy. What kind of fabric is that? Red: Oh. A lightweight merino. Super 120, natural stretch. I swear by it. Waters: Marty, do you think you can do that same multi-colored puppy tooth in that collection?

5x19

Waters: So, what do you think of this one? Red: Oh, John, yes. I like that. But go with the Snowy River Collection in the Glen Urquhart plaid. It worked for the Duke of Windsor. And, just my opinion, consider a vest. Waters: You think? Are vests in again? Red: Vests have never been out.

5x19

Red: What’s that smell? Is that lavender? And mint. Is that your head?  What kind of products do you use? I’m dying of curiosity. Garvey: Wouldn’t that be nice. Red: You smell that? Dembe: Yes. It’s lovely. Red: I’ll say.  Absolutely lovely. Whatever it is, you and I need to get some.

6x1

Red: I’ve turned over a new leaf. Spinach. Steamed. No butter, no oil, no salt.And very, very little taste.

6x2

Liz: Have you lost weight? Red: Five pounds. Seven pounds when it’s in the morning.

6x1

Red: I recommend Cairo. Beautiful, historic. And thanks to a combination of the Muslim Brotherhood and international Islamophobia, completely abandoned by Western tourists. You and Picasso will have the pyramids to yourselves.

6x1

Red: I prefer to keep my nips and tucks to myself.

6x5

Red: The suit is actually a prunelle weave blue with a subtle overlay of red. So in the right light, it goes quite plum.

6x5

Red: A bulge at my waistline? I’d prefer that the witness leave my bulges out of this entirely. I want that struck from the record. It’s embarrassing.

6x7

Red: Okay, I will not be judged by anyone who likes Schumann. I refuse to be sent to my death by Philistines. Judge Wilkins: I love Schumann. “Fantasie in C Major” was played at my mother’s funeral this past summer. Red: I’m sorry for your loss.

6x6

Red: For the love of - please tell me that’s not a Vermilion Flycatcher. Nurse: What are you talking about? Red: That little fella right there. What the hell are you people doing with a Flycatcher in your aviary? They’re endangered. That little guy should be in an open habitat or desert scrub, at the very least. Nurse: Look, I don’t know nothing about birds and desert scrub and all that. Red: You know what? Never mind. I am absolutely dead wrong. That is a Red Factor Canary. Probably domestically bred. He’s perfectly fine.