#doctor for intestinal issues

[gimedicalservices]

Discover top-notch care for your digestive health with our GI Medical Services skilled team of Gastrointestinal specialists in Staten Island. From diagnosing and treating digestive disorders to providing personalized solutions, our experienced doctors are dedicated to your well-being. Health specialist doctor digestive Staten Island Experience relief and improved digestive wellness with cutting-edge treatments tailored to your unique needs. Trust us for compassionate and effective care. To schedule an appointment, please feel free to contact Us: 718-605-5000

[anachronistic-falsehood]

grabbing my kidney in both hands and looking it dead in the eyes. if your infection comes back it is so over for you this is a threat

[tinyspringtrap]

ough im getting symptoms and problems again why me man why can't I just live my life

[evadingreallife]

I feel like ive single handedly invented a new type of AITA mental crisis cause i (temporarily living alone and generally trying to mind what i eat bc of kinda-health reasons) just got super angry at my parents cause they just. keep. pushing food on me. And by that i mean for example that tonight they were having pizza and asked me if i wanted to go and take some too and i said no i dont but when we met mom gave me this whole package which i now see its appetizers+a couple of pizza slices, of which i had asked for NONE and they know fully well im trying not to eat fried/super oily foods cause SEVERE ACNE (and other stuff) and also if i have food i like in front of me i am totally unable to not eat it or not finish it. Its in MY DNA. I really cannot. AND I DIDNT WANT IT OR NEED IT. IM NOT STARVING. IM NOT EVEN WITHOUT FOOD HERE. I GOT GROCERIES FOR FUCKS SAKE. I AM JUST ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HEALTHY/OVERWEIGHT AND DAD HAS DIABETES I DO NOT WANT THIS FOR ME. WHY. DO. THEY. KEEP. PUSHING FOOD. ON ME.

Sincerely,

An exhausted daughter

Edit: the first person coming @ me saying "just accept your body something something" will get shot with extreme prejudice. This is so not about that it's not even funny

[reinemichele]

Well. I think I'll talk about my kidney cysts another day, I'm still really frustrated with my insurance but I'm trying to be patient and not catastrophize about what all could be wrong since it could be just a week or 2 before my doctor/insurance works out a way to get the CT scan authorized

Anyway, I have my labs tomorrow, and I really don't feel well (pain + exhaustion + nausea) but I don't want to reschedule them again, both because I know I'll just also not feel well next week, and because maybe the lab results would help provide more justification for the CT scan to be authorized, but

You know?

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[rebirthgarments]

TW: Chemical w-rfare, Ab-rtion

Urgent Ask to evacuate Nara, a 🍉 disabled woman with MS who also has pancreatic cancer due to chemical w-rfare.

Support by financially contributing to her @FedUp4Palestine vetted funhnd-raizer (that I personally vetted): givebutter.com/NaraMedicalAid

+ resharing/ reposting this post!

I, Sky Cubacub- a Fed up 4 Palestine team member, have been in direct contact with Nara to get to know her and her story more over the past few days. We have become fast friends due to so many overlapping symptoms of our disabilities. Nara’s story caught my eye because I have post-viral ME/CFS which many times is a precursor to MS. I really want my disability community to show up for her to get this campaign funded that is so close to my heart so that she can continue medical treatment.

We have chatted extensively! During our chats, I found out from Nara that she had not previously had health issues until she was exposed in the white phosphorus attack in 2008. The long lasting damage and effects of phosphorus continue to compound and become more and more disabling to this day, even after 16 years.

Here is her story in her own words (edited for clarity):

“Hi I'm Nara,

I'm a cancer and multiple sclerosis patient. I need treatment, examinations, and follow-up on a regular basis, but the hospitals in which I used to follow up were bombed and the other one was turned into military barracks. All I need now is to leave Gaza for treatment, preserve my life, and live with my family in peace.

We're a family of 4, including my 12 and 7 year old children.

I had been diagnosed with a tumor in the pancreas as a result of inhaling phosphorus in a previous war. A couple years after being exposed to phosphorus, I became pregnant, and the fetus was pressing on the tumor, which drew the doctor’s attention to the cancer. My fetus was emergency aborted, and the spleen, 80% of the pancreas, and part of the small intestine were removed. I complained every now and then of a lot of pain as a result of the removal of part of the pancreas. I was having follow up care in the Turkish Friendship Hospital for hematology and tumors. But since the beginning of October, I have not been able to follow up because the hospital has turned into a military barracks.

The remaining part is talking about multiple sclerosis:

In 2018, I was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. I had many complications, such as inflammation of the seventh nerve in the eye, the inability to walk with balance, movement with difficulty, and many symptoms. I was then required to take 12 injections every month and many medications and vitamins. I was following up at the Nasser Medical Complex in Khan Yunis, but unfortunately the hospital was out of service due to the war. So for a long time I have not received any injections. MS is truly difficult and it controls my life completely, and the attacks occur in many and varied ways.”

A note about her breathing apparatus:

Because people in displacement have to wait in long queues and pay to use the bathroom, Nara had started to restrict her water intake because of a UTI she never has been able to heal from. This has created a problem with raised levels of potassium, so doctors have placed her on oxygen for fear of the potassium affecting her heart.

Goals

she needs at least $15,000 to evacuate

2 adults at $5,000 each

2 children at $2,500 each

this price is subject to increase due to the cost of registration for evacuation continuing to go up

The other money will go to the cost of treatment and living costs.

Nara chooses to stay anonymous because she has had to mask her disabilities so much that only her family knows about her MS and Cancer, so we have not linked her instagram, but we are in direct contact with her and can verify that she is who she says she is! Because of this, she cannot promote her own fundraiser, so it is our job to collectively do it for her!

[Image Description: a digital illustration by @k8deciccio of Nara, a Pal-eh-stienian woman wearing a black hijab/outfit with purple highlights. She has a breathing apparatus that is bulbous that goes in her nose. Text Reads: Help Narawith Cancer and MS Treatment, She Must Evacuate with her family of 4. $30k goal givebutter.com/NaraMedicalAid . There is a QR code in the bottom right corner that goes to her support link. The @FedUp4Palestine logo is in the top left corner.]

[grahamkennedy]

TMI as fuck in tags.

[wosoamazing]

Lost Part 2

Part 1

Warnings: Mentions of premature birth, feeding tubes

Notes: This is based off this request & also this one. It's only short again but hopefully you all like it. Also let me know if you have anything else you want to see of this child!R 686 words

“Mummy, I go show Steph my bear?” you asked as you heard the timer go off, meaning you were allowed to do more ‘strenuous’ activity. Leah wanted to say yes, she knew how much you loved to see the team especially after your appointments but she was in the middle of rehab and her knee was currently wrapped up and she was icing it with the game ready. 

“I-” “Le, sorry for interrupting, but um, I can’t for the life of me remember how to get to the cafeteria,” Alessia said as she arrived at the entrance to the physio room.

“Bubba, why don’t you take Less with you, and you can show her where the cafeteria is, and you can show Steph your bear,” you nodded eagerly and stood up, quickly grabbing your bear before taking Alessia’s outstretched hand.

-

“Stephy,” you squealed as you noticed her, sitting across the room, you immediately run up to her and she picked you up, placing you in her lap.

“How is my little bestie?”

“Good, I got a bear, and we went to the big hospital so I got to see Cooper and we got to play with him, because we had to wait for ages, but that’s because they had to help someone who was very sick. Well that’s what Mummy said,”

“Hospital?” Stina asked.

“Mm-hmm, I go for check ups, they test my blood, and sometimes I have to stay super still for the scanner, and I get to have fun with the nurses while we wait for the doctor and then usually we get to go for brunch, but we didn’t today, because it took super long, but Wally came with us today, so it was good,” you explained to one of the newest team members who just nodded her head.

A week later it was team bonding night and it was happening at Beth and Viv’s majority of the ACL squad already lived there so it was deemed easiest. Alessia was coming over to your house first so Mummy could drive her there.

“Bubba, you ready? Lessi will be here soon,” Leah called out wondering where you had disappeared too.

“Yep,” you said, reappearing from your room.

“What do you have there?”

“It’s a picture for Lessi,” you said as you held it out, showing Leah.

“I think Lessi is going to love that Bubba, why don’t you go get your shoes and I’ll help you put them on,”

-

“No Beth,” you whined as Beth tried to pick you up, “not Mummy, want Mummy,” you said as you lightly stomped your foot.

“Why don’t we go through to the living room and go find Mummy,” Alessia offered, you having been slightly grumpy for the past 15 minutes and you nodded, you felt slightly funny and you wanted Mummy, she always knew how to make you feel better.

“Hey bubba,” Leah said softly as you entered the living room, Alessia carrying you. Placing you down on the couch next to Leah, you immediately climbed onto her lap, resting your head against her chest. 

“Is she okay?” Leah asked, concerned about why you were suddenly extremely clingy.

“I think,” Alessia shrugged, “Beth tried to pick her up for a hug and she got upset and said she wanted you,” the older blonde nodded.

“Love you baby bear,” Leah said as she wrapped her arms around you, keeping you secure, you wiggled slightly in her arms, before she felt your breaths even out.

“Sorry if it’s overstepping but why does she have the feeding tube?” Stina asked Leah

“She was born early and due to that there were complications but she also developed NEC and so they had to remove the first part of her small intestine which causes some issues with digestion, so it goes into her small intestine and means she can get food in a way that her body can effectively digest it and get the nutrients from it, but she can still eat and majority of her nutrition does come from food,” Leah said before kissing the top of your head and resting her chin there.

[macgyvermedical]

Building Your Home Pharmacy

So you're in the OTC med section of the pharmacy. You've got 100 bucks burning a hole in your pocket (or maybe like $15 cause you're just starting). You're a new adult who wants to build yourself a tidy home pharmacy.

Well first you've got to know some stuff about over the counter (OTC) meds. This is the post to help you do it.

What are OTC meds? They are medications you can buy from a pharmacy or grocery store without needing a prescription. They have been deemed relatively safe and relatively easy to dose without a doctor's intervention. This does not mean they can't be dangerous, just that the general public can generally be trusted not to accidentally kill themselves with them on the regular. Keep that in your mind for later.

Note that all the medications discussed below are given in their generic names. In order to find these names, look below the brand name on a medication bottle:

Pain Medications:

Acetaminophen/Paracetamol: This is a non-NSAID pain reliever and fever reducer, so it's great for people who can't take NSAIDs due to stomach or kidney issues. Works best for headaches and fevers, but works on other types of pain as well. Technically works best as a suppository, but still works some orally. No increased risk of bleeding. Don't take more than directed. Seriously. This one can kill you or seriously damage your liver.

Ibuprofen: NSAID. Works against pain, inflammation, and fever. Take on a full stomach or you could get ulcers. Don't take if you have kidney problems. You can take this with acetaminophen.

Naproxen: NSAID. Probably the most effective for pain, but works against inflammation and fever as well. Lasts 12 hours. Don't take high doses continuously or you will get kidney problems. You can take this with acetaminophen.

Aspirin: NSAID. This was the first NSAID and it's definitely here to give you stomach ulcers if you don't take it on a full stomach. Technically it works for pain, inflammation, and fever. Most people today take it as a blood thinner. You can take this with acetaminophen.

Allergy/Cold/Congestion Medications:

Diphenhydramine/Doxalamine: First Generation Antihistamines. These are great for nighttime allergies, coughs, insomnia, nausea, and itching. Most people get drowsy from these, but some people get really hyper, especially kids.

Cetirazine/Loratadine/Fexofenadine: Second Generation Antihistamines. These work for allergies and itching and don't cause as much drowsiness.

Phenylephrine/Pseudoephedrine: Decongestants. These work by mimicking epinephrine, making the blood vessels in the nose and sinuses smaller. This makes the nose and sinuses less stuffy, but it raises blood pressure (so don't take if that's a problem for you). Pseudoephedrine is also restricted- you must be an adult to purchase and you can only buy so much. You have to talk to a pharmacist to get it because it can be used to make methamphetamine.

Triamcinolone/budesonide/fluticasone Nasal Spray: These are steroid sprays. They work similarly to the decongestants but only in the nose, and generally don't travel to the rest of the body.

Guifenesin: This is an expectorant, not a decongestant. It works by thinning the mucous in the lungs and airway. This makes it easier for you to cough it up. You have to drink a lot of water with this for it to work, though.

Dextromethorphan: This is a cough suppressant. It works by blocking signals in the brain that tell you to cough. Pretty much everything interacts with this one so if you take any medications talk to your doctor first. Depending on where you live you may have to talk to a pharmacist to get this one due to the potential for abuse.

Digestive Medications

Loperamide: This is an antidiarrheal. It works by decreasing the amount of squishing around your intestines are doing, which helps you hold your diarrhea and lets you continue to function. It is an opioid, but is not absorbed from your digestive tract so it doesn't make you high.

Bismuth Subsalicylate: This works for diarrhea as well, but also nausea, heartburn, and the prevention of traveler's diarrhea. Don't take if you're allergic to salicylates or aspirin. Taking this for an extended period of time can also cause bismuth toxicity.

Calcium Carbonate: This is an antacid. It is very basic pH wise, so can help change the pH of stomach contents pretty quickly. This is usually used for heartburn. If you take any other medications, this can prevent you from absorbing them if you take them within two hours. Using for long periods can cause rebound heartburn when you stop taking it.

Cemetidine/Famotidine/Ranitadine: These are gastric acid reducers, and they work by blocking the type of histamine that is necessary for the production of stomach acid. They are usually used for heartburn and ulcers.

Omeprezole/Esomeprezole: These are also gastric acid reducers, but they work by blocking a different part of the very complicated way our stomachs make acid. After years and years of taking these you might get some bone density problems.

Bisocodyl/Senna: These are laxatives. They work by increasing the movement of the intestines. It's important not to take these consistently unless you can't poop at all without them, or you seriously will not be able to poop without them.

Docusate/Propylene Glycol: These are stool softeners. They work by increasing the amount of water in the intestines. These are pretty safe to take all the time if you need to.

Simethicone: This is a surfactant. It works by accumulating all the gas bubbles in the intestines so they can be expelled. It's usually used for painful gas.

Topical Medications:

Clotrimezole/Miconazole: These are antifungal preparations. They treat yeast infections, athletes foot, jock itch, and ringworm.

Triple Antibiotic Ointment: This is a cream that contains antibiotics. Ostensibly you're supposed to put this on small cuts to decrease risk of infection. IRL just clean it with soap and water and then put some vasaline on it. Studies have shown it works just as well.

Hydrocortisone: This is a steroid cream. You put it on itchy things (bug bites, poison ivy, etc...) and it makes them not itch as much. This one actually works and is generally better than diphenhydramine creams that can't be used on poison ivy.

Permethrin: This is an insecticide. It will help get rid of head and body lice.

Zinc Oxide: This is a skin protectant. It helps prevent diaper rash and chafing. It also makes things feel better once you've already chafed. Technically it is also a sunblock, but it will make you look like a ghost while you're wearing it.

Family Planning:

Levonorgestrel: This is known as the morning after pill. It works by blocking ovulation, so that a sperm and egg cannot meet, preventing pregnancy. It can be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex, though it works better the sooner it is taken.

Devices:

Blood Sugar Meter/Strips/Lancets: These help measure the amount of sugar in your blood. They are usually used by people with diabetes.

Blood Pressure Cuff: This measures blood pressure automatically with a cuff around the upper arm or wrist. It is usually used by people with high blood pressure.

Ketogenic Test Strips: This measures the amount of ketones in the urine. Ketones are a byproduct of fat breakdown, usually found when the body cannot breakdown carbohydrates for energy and begins to break down fat instead. Usually people who are on a ketogenic diet or people with diabetes use these.

Peak Flow Meter: This measures the amount of air that can be used by the lungs. They are usually used by people with asthma or COPD.

Great, Which Ones Do I Need?

I'd recommend look over the list and see which ones would be most useful for you, and start with those. Over time, collect ones that would be most embarrassing to not have, and then the ones that you're pretty sure you'll never use.

Note that in a dry, unopened package (including inside blister packs), drugs last well beyond their expiration dates. So if you don't use a certain med all that often, get a smaller package of it.

Great, Which Ones Can I Take at the Same Time?

Good question. I'm going to say that if you take any prescription medications, you always want to check with your doctor before taking anything OTC. However, I recommend you use an interaction checker like this one if you want to take more than one OTC med at the same time. One can be found here.

Note:

Loperamide CANNOT be taken with cimetidine/ranitidine/famotidine. This causes bad heart rhythms.

Don't take two meds from the same category together (like cimetadine with ranitidine, or ibuprofen with naproxen, or diphenhydramine and fexofenadine unless a doctor tells you to).

Most antacids (calcium carbonate, sodium bicarbonate) will prevent the absorption of other medications, so take them two hours apart from anything else you take.

Don't drink alcohol with loperamide, detromethophan, acetaminophen, or any antihistamines.

[sevenrenny]

Recently a relative asked me why I'm 'suddenly' always sick and that I was so healthy as a kid.

I was never a healthy kid. I was always in pain, but nobody believed me. I complained I had moments of dizziness, momentary visual blurriness and blindness, moments where I couldn't balance myself, and intense migraines so bad I fantasized popping a hole in my skull hoping that would get whatever was hurting me out of my head. I had days where it was just brain fog, but I was too young to know the word 'brain fog'. I'd have days where I was in so much pain I'd vomit.

But I got scolded for 'faking it' for attention or to get out of school. I got punished for 'being lazy'. So little by little, I learned complaining about constant pain that made me suicidal would make things worse for me. People punished me for telling them I was hurting, so I shut up.

Even when I became quiet about it, there were things I couldn't hide and my family rug-swept them: I passed out at school a few times from intense pain. I had multiple intestinal issues my family told me were normal, that 'it happens to everyone', telling me that 'Your dad had that happen so many times' while chuckling like it was funny. Every time, they waited for me to 'stop being dramatic' until I started screaming and writhing on the floor and they finally got me to the ER, scolding me the whole time for 'not saying anything sooner'.

During one of those visits, a doctor found a large tumor I was choking on. He found it by accident when he was putting a tube down my throat. I'd been having trouble breathing, but my family accused me of lying, and I'd started to think I was imagining it. Upon discovering the tumor, my mom's reaction was to scold me for giving myself a tumor.

After the tumor removal, the doctor had told her something seemed odd, and he talked with my mom for a bit but I can't remember what they said. We never went back to this doctor. When I asked my mom about it later, she told me the doctor was stupid and he had no idea what he was doing. (It was in my 20s when I went to check on my intestinal issue that the doctor told me he suspected I had gastroparesis, which he later confirmed it was.)

I struggled with classes because of the combination of undiagnosed medical issues, undiagnosed ADHD, undiagnosed dyscalculia, and having panic attacks (later got diagnosed with c-PTSD). My mom threatened to marry me off or kick me out of the house for almost failing math. I was sworn at, told horrific things that still stick with me (and the rest of the family blamed me for 'being lazy' and making her angry with me). I was a kid and couldn't understand why existing hurt, why, if it was so 'normal' to be in consent agony, everyone else seemed to not be struggling like me. I couldn't wrap my head around why everything that seemed so easy for everyone else was almost impossible for me.

It wasn't until an online friend asked me if I had some sort of disease because I was constantly in the hospital. I told her, "No, not really. What's the average number of times someone's in the hospital?" She said, "Renny, I've never once been to the ER." She was older than me. It was then that it clicked for me. I'd been so convinced that all of this was normal, that I was behind everyone else in life because I must be just a weak person because I was so behind even when I gave it my hardest.

I wasn't behind because I was weak. I was behind because I was never given the assistance I needed.

As soon as I became an adult and financially independent, I started seeking medical help. Got diagnosed with severe chronic migraines and other illnesses typically comorbid with chronic migraines and gastroparesis. (There are some issues I can't get medical help for in my country, so those will have to wait). I'm on medications now. Because of gastroparesis, pills didn't work for me too well, so a friend taught me how to use autoinjectors. I have friends who actually help me, give me advice, drive me to my appointments, and just be there for me emotionally.

Being medicated has made being alive so much more bearable. I can actually live my life now. Yes, I still have days where I'm in pain (not just migraines, but my other conditions, most of which don't have any treatments to manage them) but it's such a massive improvement from where I was before. I'm happier. I go to therapy. I found people I can talk about my pains and conditions freely to without being told I'm faking it or lazy. I don't work myself to the bone anymore; I shouldn't be giving my 100% to a job that refuses me accommodations when I'd need most of that to manage my health.

I'm back to complaining about pain because, before my family trained me to shut up about it, I was doing it right from the beginning. I'm supposed to complain about pain. Just because I can talk about it freely now, doesn't mean I was never sick before. Just because I'm on medications now, doesn't mean I didn't need them years ago.

I'm happier now as an adult. You just don't like that I'm visible about my illnesses now. It makes you uncomfortable that I self-administer injections, that I talk about my health the way that I want to. The thought of chronic illness makes you uncomfortable; you liked it better when I was quiet. You'd rather I don't find diagnoses for my illnesses, because, in your logic, if I don't go get the diagnosis then I'm not sick.

I was never a healthy kid. You just don't want to admit you went along with the rest of the family to abuse a disabled kid for being disabled.

[gimedicalservices]

Gi Medical Doctors on Staten Island is committed to serving our community by offering the most advanced services for diagnosing digestive care hospital Staten Island, NY  and treating a wide range of conditions.

Our growing teams of internists and specialists use medical technology records to offer seamless care for each patient at all locations. As part of the Gastrostatenisland Health System, we offer ready access to the latest advances in research and treatment provided by internationally recognized experts at the American Board of Internal Medicine and certified to practice Gastroenterology of Medicine at Gastrostatenisland.

Services We Provide

Gi Medical Services Doctors on Staten Island, New York is home to a range of specialists, who rely on the research and resources of the Gi Medical Services Health System to provide highly skilled care in the following areas:

Primary Care & Colonoscopy: Our compassionate team of family doctors provides annual checkups, disease prevention, treatments for chronic and acute illness, and preoperative consultations.

Schedule your appointment with GI Medical Service today

[genderqueerdykes]

i FINALLY got my appointments for a gastric emptying study, abdominal CT scan and an endo/colonoscopy. I have been waiting for a year for this to happen. it's taken 2 years of being in constant GI pain and having horrendous symptoms to finally see who I'm supposed to see. it sounds ridiculous but i cannot wait for that gastric emptying study, i desperately want to know what's going on with my stomach.

this didn't come without struggle, though. the person who referred me to all of these tests was a nurse practitioner, not a gastroenterologist, and she told me to start taking mirilax daily to alleviate my symptoms. it is known that I have IBS, which involves going to the bathroom way too much already. i am in the bathroom more of the day than i am not, and i am not about to potentially kill myself via dehydration. she latched on to the fact that i said i'm constipated sometimes and told me to get an OTC laxative. when i already go to the bathroom too much. unreal

every little bit of research on the matter states that using laxatives long term can make IBS symptoms worse:

im excited to see an actual GI specialist, not someone who thinks that IBS can be solved by putting more water into my intestines than is already in there, which is what i have issues with. i'm hoping i get some answers from the GES. apparently they did a biopsy on my intestines which showed something that could either "be normal or a problem". i just pray that the doctors i see for these procedures aren't as stupid as the nurse who saw me yesterday.

[gendiebrainrotreceipts]

This is a text version of a now deleted post on the mtf subreddit I copied yesterday so I can send it on anonymous.

u/ThatTransUnicornPuff

"Horrible cramps, what do I do? Went to emergency room, bad experience Trigger Warning"

l've been on estrogen nine years. l've never experienced cramps until the last few months. They come every 24-31 days and feel like a deep throbbing pain in my pelvis. I get moody, constipated, intense cravings, and somewhat suicidal. I know we can experience periods without the blood, but the cramps weren't letting up. I went to the emergency room and told them I was having extreme cramps and it was bad. I didn't want to tell them I'm trans because I live stealth. So, when they asked to take a look at my vagina (thankfully, I'm post op) so I decided I'd let them look. Immediately, the doctor takes one look at my puss and asks what happened. I tell him I don't know what he's talking about. He asks if something happened to me down there? I told him nothing. He says he's going to attempt an ultrasound to look at my ovaries. I tell him I don't have any and, unhappily, explain that l'm trans. He says, but you're here for cramps. I say that I'm having a period. The doctor leaves and in comes a nurse who discharges me. On my paper it says I need to consult a gi doctor for intestinal issues because that's where the cramps are coming from. Anyway, the cramps are still hurting and l've been crying all day over what the stupid doctor said, asking me what happened to my vagina. What do you mean, my vagina is like everyone elses. I don't even want to get out of bed

Jesus Christ

[antlerkitty]

My doctor:

“You have hypermobility and unstable joints causing chronic pain. You also have mild skin hyperextendabiliy. In the past I would’ve tested you for EDS but we’re just going to skip that and go to PT.”

“I know your heart rate rises way more than it should when you stand, walking up stairs is hard, and you have blood pooling, but we’re not going to test for POTS or orthostatic hypotension since it could just be dehydration. (Even though you say you drink a lot of water and need large amounts of salt to function)”

“I know you need a cane, and I fully support that, but I’m not going to try and figure out why you need it at such a young age.”

“This may all be because you’re female.”

“I think your chronic and very painful GI issues that make you feel like your intestines are on fire are actually just stress.”

[hisunshiine]

—i must be favored to know ya [5/7]

Part 5 of 7 of the Seven Days Series ↣ series masterlist

🗓️ pairing: nurse!jungkook x teacher!reader 🗓️ au/genre: non-idol au, brother’s friend au, fwb, age-gap(reader is older), f2l, fluff, angst, smut, 🗓️ rating: M 🗓️ wc: 5,665 🗓️ warnings: emotionally constipated pairing, again Kim Seokjin MEDDLING, drunk feelings in a good way, nudes, misinterpretation of messages, drunk feelings in a bad way, arguing, saying hurtful things  explicit sexual content: making out in the club, potential exhibitionism/voyeurism, shower sex  🗓️ an: Sorry if this one is angsty y’all! We’ve been slowly building to it, and it had to come to a head at some point, right? Plus, we only have the weekend left! Hospital Vocab: 🏥 A MICU is a medical intensive care unit that deals with less critical conditions such as pneumonia, infections or other problems that require intensive monitoring but don't necessarily require emergency. 🏥 The NICU is a nursery in a hospital that provides around-the-clock care to sick or preterm babies.  🏥 Gastric refers to the unit of Gastroenterology, which cares for issues with the esophagus, stomach, small intestine, colon and rectum, pancreas, gallbladder, bile ducts and liver. 🗓️ summary: “I must be favored to know ya.” Having Jungkook in your life is so much sweeter than you ever thought. It would be great if you could just tell him, but showing him is as good as it gets for now…until you slip up and let the cat out of the bag. But it turns out, you aren’t the only one who has feelings for him, and you definitely aren’t the only one who wants to ride him. When your biggest fears come to light, knowing Jungkook the way that you do might become a thing of the past. 

Taglist: @sizzlingfestpeach @mochminnie @jungkooksmytype @kookslastbutton @taebangtanbabe @bbtsficrecs @jk97bam it's not letting me tag you (if joining the taglist, please think about reblogging with tags/leaving feedback!)

“Doctor Cho to room 324, Doctor Cho to room 324.” A nurse's tired voice plays over the loudspeaker as Jungkook follows Jimin into the staff locker room at the end of their shift.

“Bro, why was today so tiring?” Jimin drops effortlessly into the chair across from his locker, as if all of his bones and joints have given out.

Jungkook reaches behind his neck to fist at his scrub top, pulling the polyester material over his head. “It was tiring because we had to change Mr. Lee’s sheets four times today. Why are we working in the MICU again?”

“Because we wanted to take time off next week after the wedding, so we picked up this shift instead of enjoying our usual Friday off,” Jimin reminds as he toes off his sneakers. 

“Next time, tell me to check who I’m covering for. I forgot Sara works the gastric rounds, and while I don’t mind a little incontinence, Mr. Lee is not a small man and four times is more than a little, you know?”

Jimin nods as he finally begins to remove his own scrubs before heading to the showers in the back of the locker room with his small shower pouch in tow. Jungkook follows his lead, towel thrown over his shoulder, his own pouch in hand.

“You know what?” Jimin asks as he steps into one of the small shower stalls. “I think we should go out tonight. Octagon or CakeShop—you know they have the best music and drinks.”

“Mmm, I don’t know…I’m still covering Sara’s shift tomorrow, and if Mr. Lee is still having bowel issues,” Jungkook steps into the privacy of his own stall to step out of his boxer briefs and into the water, enjoying the heat as it envelops his body, “I might not be at my best if I go out tonight.”

“C’mon, man! We should go out because of Mr. Lee! We can invite the teachers, it’s summer break for them anyways, and the four of us always turn up on Fridays. We can invite the whole crew.”

Jungkook makes sure to scrub his hands extra before washing the rest of his body with his green Italy Towel to exfoliate his skin. “I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I ask for, man.” 

The two continue their shower routine, meeting again in the locker room to change into clothes to go home in.

Jimin grabs his phone as soon as he’s dressed. Jungkook follows Jimin’s movements as he paces back and forth with the phone on speaker, dialtone echoing through the room. 

“Hey, Jimin,” Taehyung answers the phone, sounding as if he just took a bite of food.

“You’re on speaker. Tae, we’re going out tonight. Octagon or CakeShop?”

There’s a pause before he answers; Jungkook assumes Taehyung is swallowing his food. “Let’s do CakeShop, it’s a bit more cozy. You’re on speaker too, Hoseok and I are grabbing a late lunch.”

“Hey, Jimin!” Hoseok’s voice filters through the mobile.

“Sounds good. Ready at 11?”

“Yeah. I’ll text Woo Shik, see if he can reserve a table. See you later, I’m eating right now.”

Taehyung’s annoyance at his meal being disturbed rings loud and clear as the phone clicks, and Jimin throws the phone into his open backpack. “Can you call your girl? Let her know we’re going at 11?”

Jungkook’s movements stutter as he rolls deodorant on, raised arm freezing in the air. “My girl?” He eyes Jimin from his peripherals, trying to read his face.

“Yeah, she’s like, your best friend. Joined at the hip all the time, sometimes I wonder whether you or Yoongi is her actual brother.”

“Oh, haha, yeah, I’ll—yeah, I’ll call her once we get out of here.”

“Cool, so let’s go, see if we can catch the hyungs before they leave.” Jimin closes his backpack, lifting it over his shoulder. Jungkook follows suit, carrying his bag by the small handle at the top instead as they leave the room. 

“Hyung!” Jimin spots Seokjin as he leaves one of the rooms across from the nurses’ station. The jovial man smiles as he passes a clipboard off to the Resident shadowing him.

“Hey, you guys off for the day?” Seokjin asks as he checks his watch.

“Yeah, we’re headed out to CakeShop tonight at 11 if you and Joon want to come with?”

“I don’t think I can swing it. Joon’s covering the NICU the rest of the week, so I doubt he’ll be down to go.”

“No worries, just wanted to extend the offer.”

“I appreciate it. We’ll have fun Sunday, right? Open bar at the reception and all.”

“Definitely.” Jimin wraps an arm around Jungkook’s neck and begins to tug him down the hallway. “See ya!”

Seokjin just shakes his head, watching as the two men head out.

“What’s got Jungkook so happy?” SoHee appears at Seokjin’s elbow, holding a binder to her chest.

“Oh, he’s probably off to go see his—uh, probably hanging with one of our friends.”

“One of your friends? He must be a pretty cool guy if Jungkook is that excited to go hang out.” SoHee says, a smile on her face as she watches both men bounce happily around the corner, her eyes focused mostly on the tattooed, floppy haired one until they’re finally out of sight. 

“Yeah…she’s pretty cool. They’re like best friends—spend every waking moment together when not working.” Seokjin glances at SoHee, searching for a reaction. He’s not doing it to be mean—in his mind, it’s more mean to string someone along when your heart belongs to someone else.

“Oh. I didn’t realize the person was a ‘she’. Do you, uh, think that they like each other? As more than friends?”

Seokjin makes eye contact with SoHee, trying to express more with his eyes than his response gives. “If you hope to date JK, you have some pretty fierce competition, and she isn’t afraid of using her feminine wiles.” 

—————

The lights in CakePop glow a harsh red as the fluorescent, buzzing tubes shine across Jungkook’s face. You admire the slope of his nose, the angles of his jaw and the way his hair frames his face as he orders a round of drinks from the bar. He chose to wear jeans you’ve never seen him in before: baggy as hell with large cuts horizontally going up the back of them. With a white sleeveless tank and white, tiger-print long sleeve covering his tattoos, his look is complete with a new chain earring he’s showing off. 

Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok dressed up as well, each one showcasing their different style but just as handsome. They sit at the table reserved for your group, chatting as their heads bob to the music. He’s busy paying for the tab when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

You look over your shoulder at the man who’s sidled up close to you while your attention is elsewhere.

“No, but thank you,” you reply as loud as you can over the music without drawing too much attention to the rejection. You watch as the man’s eyes bounce from you to Jungkook as you take a step closer to him.

“Oh, this you?” he asks, understanding morphing through his pupils. You don’t know how to respond, since it’s very much so complicated, but Jungkook saves you the trouble.

“Yeah, she’s with me.” Jungkook’s arm wraps itself heavily around your waist, fingers on the meat of your hip as he tucks you into his side. He eyes the man, who is slightly taller than him, but seems to deem him as not a threat. “C’mon, babe,” he says into your ear, “our drinks are ready.” 

You smile up at him, moving to grab your drink as he takes the small platter that holds the other four drinks over to the table. His hand never leaves your skin, transferring from holding your hip to holding your hand as he navigates through the dancing bodies and back to your group of friends.

“Finally! Let’s down these and get on the dance floor!” Hoseok says. As the P.E. Teacher at the school you work at, he’s really fit. You know he also works at a dance studio in the evenings and during the summer, so as far as this scene goes, Hoseok was ready to show off his moves. The others agree, so you throw your drink back before excusing yourself to the bathroom. Best to pee now, instead of breaking the seal later. 

“We aren’t waiting for you!” Taehyung teases as he adjusts his thin, silky red shirt, the opening around his neck unbuttoned and angled to show off delicate collarbones and a thin gold chain, but you know that it would be easy enough to find the four of them in the crowd; eyes often gravitate to watch them when they’re together as a group. Especially with Jimin in his all-black outfit, baggy jeans and combat boots put together with a leather jacket, and Hoseok in ripped jeans, jean jacket, black tee and sunglasses? There was no way you could miss them. Jungkook might be the one you’re fucking night after night, but the rest of the guys are also great to look at. Being the only girl out with them tonight will be fun. 

In the bathroom, you see a few texts from your brother, on your lock screen, but you ignore him, because it doesn’t matter. Jungkook is going home with you tonight, so there’s no need to make it weird. You know he’s only looking out for you, in the way that Yoongi does, but tonight you just want to shut your brain off for a while.     

Washing your hands, you check yourself out in the mirror, loving how your jeans fit your ass and your shirt shows just the right amount of cleavage. If you’re already getting hit on so boldly at the bar, you can only imagine how the rest of the night is going to go, and your self-confidence excites you. It’s twisted, but you feel good knowing other guys are showing their interest in you, in front of Jungkook. It’s like…showing Jungkook that you’re a good catch, if others also want you. Plus, having Jungkook step in and turn them away, saying you’re with him is a huge turn-on and confidence boost for you. In a way, you feel like Yoongi’s concerns shouldn’t matter too much because Jungkook already claimed you once tonight to someone else. Do you really need to do more? Your thoughts go quiet as more women filter into the bathroom, talking loudly. 

“But did you see the one in all black? He’s so hot.”

“Okay, but the one with dance moves? In ripped jeans? Even hotter.”

You laugh to yourself as you fix your hair before heading to the door.

“I’m set on the one in white. I’m taking him home if it’s the last thing I do.”

If they had been paying attention to you, they would have seen the stutter in your step and the way you almost miss the handle to the door, but as luck would have it, no one notices the almost stumble as you head back into the dark of the club. 

As you expect, finding the group is easy, but pushing through the onlookers is slightly difficult, as some of the women do not want to move to let you through, thinking you’re simply another fan of the men dancing to the grooving house music. Once you find a break between bodies however, Jungkook spots you and reaches his hands out to you, pulling you through in time to the rhythm. He’s face to face with you, hips moving with each beat that thumps through the speakers as you settle into the space created by the disappointment of the gravitating spectators.

He drops one of his hands, allowing him to spin you around with the one still holding onto you after a few moments and then stepping into your space so you’re able to meld your body into his and face the other guys in the group. You wind your hips back into his pelvis and Jungkook catches every beat, hands resting on your hips as you work him. You want to see his face, see if he’s watching you or not, but when you feel his fingers tighten almost imperceptibly in response to a rather suggestive body roll, you guess you know he’s paying attention to you more than anything else. 

Typically, when the songs change, you also change partners, liking to spread the wealth that is your dancing among the others, but tonight, Jungkook doesn’t let go, and you don’t try to leave him. The others don’t seem to mind, spending their time choosing random people from the crowd to dance with or weaving back and forth to get drinks from the bar. Eventually, the group of girls from the bathroom comes near, you turn to face Jungkook, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I’m staying with you tonight, right?” you ask on tippy toes, mouth ghosting the shell of his ear tipsily to ask something you already know the answer to, but wanting to lay your claim. Your teeth nip lightly at the earlobe without the new chain earring, and you leave a soft kiss where the lobe meets his neck just so the other girl can see. 

He responds in kind after a shiver races down his spine, pulling you closer as the heat from his mouth spreads lower through your body. “You better be—I’ll kidnap you if I have to.” He bites your neck playfully, causing you to squirm in his hold but he doesn’t loosen his grip on you, just apologizes for the bite with a tongue-wetted kiss that promises so much more to come when you get home. Turning back around in his hold, you watch as Taehyung looks between you and his friend, and can only smile knowingly to yourself when it dawns on him what must be going on. Now that Yoongi knows, you don’t really care if the others find out or not. 

Jimin returns to the group with drinks for you and Jungkook fisted in his hands, and you thank him before drinking half of it in one gulp. “Slow down, baby, we have plans for tonight, so we shouldn’t drink too much more, okay?” Jungkook’s eyes are wide and pleading when you look over your shoulder at him, and it’s almost heart-stopping how good he looks, tongue swiping his bottom lip and messing with his lip piercings. It should be illegal for him to ask for anything from you while giving you that look.

“Yeah, this is my last one,” you promise, and he smiles as he finishes the beer Jimin gave him. 

“I’ll get you some water, okay? Can’t have my baby with a hangover tomorrow.” 

Your mixed drinks are more potent than his beers, and it’s cute that he’s thinking of taking care of you. You feel warmth in your chest at his consideration and actions, not to mention his use of the claiming endearment leaving you all hot and bothered as he heads off the dancefloor towards the bar. 

“What time are we staying ‘til?” you ask Hoseok, who eyes his watch.

“Probably not much longer, it’s almost one. Thirty minutes sound good?”

“Yeah, I think I can do another thirty to forty-five minutes.”

Hoseok nods, but his smile then turns mischievous. “You and Jungkook sharing a taxi tonight?” He takes both of your hands, swinging them as if going to draw you in to dance with him, and a part of you wants to pull away; as if you can’t dance with Hoseok because you have a boyfr—or because you have plans to fuck someone in an hour or so and it would be disrespectful. Right?

“We always share a taxi, Hobi,” you answer coyly, evading his question and not stepping closer to him, politely declining to dance. 

Hoseok just grins wider, hips swaying to the beat as he steps away from you, dropping your hands. “She’s all yours,” he says over your head, and a moment later you feel the heat of Jungkook as he envelops you back into his body. 

“Here, make sure to drink all of it,” Jungkook places the bottle of water into your hand as he turns you to face him, the lid already twisted off for you. His voice drops, in volume and in tone, as he adds, “Only good girls get what they want tonight.”

You have to hold yourself back from responding with a “Yes, Daddy,”—the alcohol making you much more submissive to the younger man—so you bring the bottle to your lips instead, making sure you hold his eye contact as you wrap your pout around the rim and swallow the first gulp. The water is so quenching, you close your eyes as you take subsequent swallows, a little bit leaking from the corners of your mouth to run down your cheeks, neck, and disappear between your breasts.

“Woah, careful baby, I want you wet, but this water is for drinking,” he says as he pulls the water bottle back slightly from your mouth to slow the flow down, and you’re grateful, but also now horny as your eyes take in the way he’s looking at you. “Fuck it,” he intones mostly to himself, before dipping his face down into your chest. His tongue traces the path of the water back up to your neck where he keeps his mouth to suckle at your sensitive skin.

Neither of you cares that you’re in a packed club, that people are watching, that your friends—who didn’t know until tonight that there was anything more between the two of you—are watching and are also close enough to hear the sound you let out, the cross between a whimper and a moan as you cling to Jungkook’s shirt, hands fisted near his waist wanting him closer.

“Maybe we should get those taxis now?” Hoseok says aloud, mostly to Jimin and Taehyung in an attempt to pull their eyes away from the sight in front of them. The two just nod, and Hoseok pulls out his phone and opens his app. He can’t help but look up every few seconds though, not when you’re pressing your chest into Jungkook’s as he kisses you openly, his tattooed hand grabbing at your ass as he grinds into you in time to the music. 

The sounds Hoseok can hear from you between the music pounding out of the speakers have his dick jumping—as if straight out of his favorite porn flicks—but you’re Yoongi’s older sister, and apparently have been fucking the youngest in the group and Hoseok is now putting three and four together to realize the friend with benefits who he’s been fucking seven nights a week (per his text messages) is you.  

The crowd surrounding their group is beginning to stare now too, and Hoseok feels mildly uncomfortable—not because you have your tongue in Jungkook’s mouth (no, the sight is quite hot)—because the women who were circling like vultures all night are staring daggers at your head. Despite you two dry-humping on beat, Hoseok can see the annoyed looks on some of the other dancers' faces, so he’s more than happy to unceremoniously pull your mobile device from your back pocket (the one without Jungkook’s hand all over it) so he can order your taxi to keep you and Jungkook from getting arrested for indecent exposure.

He hates being the person to interrupt the two of you when the taxis are about to arrive, but the shine in your eyes is full of gratitude as he leads your group outside. He suspects it’s because you were probably in need of oxygen, and a small part of him assumes it’s because you were just caught acting like a couple of young teenagers. Hoseok hands you your cell phone back as you all stand at the curb, and you smile sheepishly at Hoseok, Jimin, and Taehyung, as if to say ‘Surprise! It’s me!’.

Jungkook still has his arms wrapped around you, lips kissing your neck and exposed shoulder—any place his mouth can reach from his spot behind you—and when the first taxi pulls up, Jimin has to pull Taehyung along to go with him and Hoseok. 

“But, can I go with them? I wanna watch some more,” Taehyung doesn’t sound like he’s joking at all, and only decides to climb into his taxi when Jungkook shoots him a glare that you can’t see.

“Be safe, text me when you all get home!” you say as they settle in the backseat. They all give you skeptical looks, knowing you’ll probably be too busy to even see the messages, but they’ll do it anyway. Your phone alerts you that your taxi is also there, so you wave as you lead a seemingly lovesick, doe-eyed, muscle bunny to another car pulling up behind the first. 

Climbing into the vehicle, you’re practically sitting on Jungkook’s lap the entire ride home, where he’s quietly feeling you up the whole way to his apartment. His hand is between your thighs, pressing into you in a way that makes the seam of your jeans press against your clit. He feels the way you roll your hips as he leaves wet pecks on your neck and whispers dirty things into your ear.

“Wanna fill you up when we get home,” he murmurs, “can’t wait to feel you wrap around me.”

Your breathing is shaky, and the taxi driver asks if you’re okay as he speeds down the road.

Your back is against the cold shower wall, Jungkook’s strong arms hold your legs at the knees as he thrusts inside of you. His body pins you in place, your hands clawing at his back as you try to find purchase against his slick skin. You bounce on his hardened cock as he drills it deeper inside of you, hips rutting for friction against his pelvis, your swollen clit aching for more.

“Fuck, baby, you’re perfect.” Jungkook’s mouth moves against your collarbones as he speaks, switching between biting and kissing from the pleasure your walls give him. The pain as he marks you only makes you wetter, makes you crave him more. 

“Jungkook, feels so good,” you whine out, tangling your fingers into the wet hair curling at the nape of his neck. “Love it,” you chant out, repeating the phrase several times. “Fuck me, baby, don’t stop, love how you feel.”

Jungkook’s brain can barely handle the way you’re sending all of his senses into overdrive. The feel of you sliding up and down, so slick and warm on his cock as you tug at his hair, your words flowing through his mind, that you love it, love it, love it, so close to saying you love more than just the way he fucks you, maybe you could even love…him?

“Fuck, baby, keep saying it, don’t stop, you ride me so good, fucking love your pussy.”

“Love your cock, fuck Jungkook, love how you fuck me, need more, need you deeper.”

Jungkook lets your legs down one by one so he can turn you to face the glass of the shower, allowing both of you to feel the hot water streaming onto your bodies as he enters you from behind. Your hands lay flat on the glass as he begins to pound into you, the clapping of his thighs into your ass echoing off the walls of the bathroom, mixing with your breathy moans as he reaches that spot inside of you. 

“Tell me you love it, tell me how good my cock feels, splitting your pussy open like this,” Jungkook’s voice is whiny as he begs for your praise, secretly seeking more than he asks for. When he wraps his tattooed hand around your waist, fingers dipping between your legs in search of your clit, you give everything he’s hoping to hear and more as you climax. 

“Oh, fuck, right there, Jungkook, fuck, fuck, I love you, don’t stop, please don’t stop, you feel so good, Jungkook, fucking love you, you make me feel so good.”

His head—the one currently buried deep inside you—loses all senses as his other head processes your words, and he’s losing himself as he empties inside of you. Your legs shake, wanting to give out if not for his strong arms holding you up. 

“You’re so perfect, baby,” Jungkook whispers as he kisses the back of your head. “My perfect baby.”

Drying off, you shiver slightly as Jungkook walks out of the bathroom to grab some clothes for you both and leaves the door ajar. Your phone sits on the sink counter, a little foggy from the steam, but you can still see messages waiting for you. You click through them each one by one, not bothering to respond since it’s much later than the time they were sent, and all of the senders are probably deep in an alcohol-induced sleep. You glance at the time, noting it's now almost 2:30 AM. 

You’re glad the three men made it safely, but kind of hate the way Hoseok refers to you and Jungkook as teenagers. Were your actions at the club tonight…immature? What did he mean by that? Did he think you weren’t smart enough to make sure to use protection? Jungkook’s young, but he’s not that young! Plenty of people under twenty-six have children. Would it be so bad if you and Jungkook were to become pregnant, based solely on your ages?

Then there’s Taehyung, pointing out yet again how ‘young’ Jungkook is—and why is he sending you thirst traps? You know it’s harmless, he’s just drunk and wants your attention, but it still makes you upset that he feels that your choice was wrong because of age. 

Are you some old crone or hag that can’t fuck with someone younger than you? What makes this age gap so bad? You just want someone to make sense of what they’re saying to you, because the way you’re interpreting it, they think you and Jungkook are too different in age to be together. Your biggest fears come to light in the messages across your screen, from your own friends no less, just when you’re coming to terms with the one fact that should be the only one that matters: You want to be with Jungkook. You want to date him—want him to be yours, for real.  

Jungkook returns with a large black shirt for you, his own lower body covered with a clean pair of red Calvin Klein boxer briefs. You pull the shirt over your head, and in the dark, you hear his phone chime with a text message. 

“Who’s even up at this time?” he mutters, and you have to agree, It’s late, but you assume it’s a message from one of the guys; he probably texted them each back and one wasn’t asleep just yet. Your head and arms are pushed hurriedly through the holes, and you see Jungkook barely get a chance to glance at his phone before he’s setting it down next to yours and instead grabbing your towel to finish drying your hair.  

The action is sweet, warming your heart and you know that this is the moment. It’s time to tell Jungkook exactly how you feel, regardless of the post-sex high and in spite of being still tipsy on alcohol—you’re sure what you want to say will come out how you intend. How hard can it be to tell someone you like them? But his phone chimes again and you can’t help but to glance down at it. The sight makes your blood run cold. SoHee, clearly shirtless, sending a booty call text at 2:33 AM. 

To YOUR Jungkook. To the same Jungkook who you just professed your love to while taking raw backshots in his shower; the same Jungkook who just finished emptying his cum inside of you. 

Your thoughts run wild; did he send nudes to her too? Did he take one when he left the bathroom to get clothes for you both? You want to scroll through the thread, see for yourself that he isn’t sending nudes to someone else, when he’s been fucking you every night, calling you his baby, his princess…No. Your eyes prick with tears at the thought, the alcohol still running through your veins making your ability to think logically about this situation a bit cloudy.

“Seriously, Jungkook? Fucking me and texting other bitches back to back? While I’m still here?” you scoff, shaking your head as you step away from him. 

“What?” he glances down at his phone, seeing the screen lit up with the message from SoHee. His eyes take in the picture and the message, growing wide in fear. “No, baby, it’s not what you think—” He picks up the phone, wants to show you the truth but you don’t let him speak.

“Jungkook, do I look stupid to you? I can literally see the messages and can still feel the ache between my thighs from you. This might work on girls your age, but please, do not insult my intelligence.”

“Girls my age? What are you talking about?”

“You! I’m talking about you pulling a stunt like this!” 

“Baby, c’mon. You’re just drunk, I promise you, this is nothing.”

His words only add to your ire. He’s downplaying what happened, but you know what you saw. It was right there in front of your eyes, but he’s trying to placate you and you can’t stand to feel like this. Like you can easily fall for some bullshit just because a hot, younger guy is showing interest in you. It’s exactly what people expect, right? That older women put up with shit because they’re afraid no one will want them, that they’re past their expiration date for romance.

“Don’t ‘you’re just drunk’ me! I literally just told you how I feel about you, to then see that picture and message! I honestly should’ve expected something like this from you, I chose to fuck the youngest in the group, what did I expect?” You say this last part more to yourself than to Jungkook, but he hears you just the same. 

“Hold on. What are you even fucking saying right now? You chose to fuck the youngest in the group? What, would you have decided to fuck someone else, like Jin or Namjoon? Because they’re older than me?”

“They probably wouldn’t be sending nudes to other bitches at 2 AM after fucking me in their shower and inviting me to stay the night. Maybe my coworker was right about you.”

“That’s not what the fuck even happened! God, you know, you’re so stupid sometimes, I swear. I’ve always wanted you, but you’re the one acting immature, like you’re so great because you’re older than me? Age doesn’t fucking matter, our age gap isn’t even that big! But you’re acting like you know more because you’re older than me?”

“Jungkook,” you sigh out, bringing your finger to your temples, “you don’t fucking get it, you’re too young to—”

“Don’t you even finish that fucking sentence.”

“Seriously, Jungkook. You can’t possibly feel—”

“Are you actually trying to tell me how I feel!? You’re certifiably insane.” Jungkook laughs, but there is no humor in his tone. He paces out of the bathroom, fingers raking through his hair as he tries to make sense of what’s happening. “You know what? You’re the only one who has ever worried about our age difference. Because of what other people say, right? Because I’ve never said anything about it. Not negatively, at least. I’ve…” Jungkook’s voice cracks as he tries to express how he feels to you, but he’s so disappointed that he can’t look at you. “You know I’ve literally been here for you, for anything you fucking needed. My age never mattered when it benefitted you. Your coworker doesn’t know shit about me and you. But apparently her opinion matters more than hearing me out.”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying—”

“Actually, I can’t deal with this right now,” he says, adding your name to the end of his sentence like a finality. He turns towards your discarded jeans and shoes. You can see him opening his phone, KakaoTaxi open on the screen. “I have to get up early for my shift, and I really think I should sleep alone tonight.”

“Jungkook, wait,” you start to speak, to try and take back what you’ve said, but for Jungkook, it’s literally and figuratively too late. He walks you back into the bathroom, passing you your jeans from where he’s picked them up off of the floor.

“Your taxi will be here in less than five minutes. Text me when you get home safely.”

Jungkook drops the phone back on the counter and disappears out of the bathroom, and you don’t bother trying to follow him. His phone lies abandoned next to yours, and you can’t help yourself. You swipe sideways to his messages and scroll up through the thread with SoHee quickly, but there’s nothing in it from Jungkook showing he’s sent nudes, barely any messages sent from him at all. 

You blink away the tears that are forming, step into your jeans and grab your phone. His phone chimes from the Taxi notification, and you don’t bother to say goodbye, since you don’t see him on your way through his apartment to his front door. You linger, closing the door slowly but he never appears, and you’re hit with a sobering moment of reality of what your future could look like without him in it. The way home is quiet and lonely at this hour, the roads a sea of black, white, and grey, and you aren’t sure if Jungkook will ever color your doorstep—or your life—again.

stay tuned for “i kiss your waist and ease your mind” coming 8-?-2023!

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