#does it make a lotta sense? No! But the concept will not leave my mind so I had to just spit it out SOMEWHERE

[scatterbrainedart]

🎵 As the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn 🎶

It makes sense if you squint ok trust me

[trashcanfanfics]

how would blitz react if striker tried to kill him and reader got caught in the crossfire taking the hit for him?

What a concept!!! Fics galore!!

You were rushing down the hall, desperately trying to reach the room where you heard the sounds of fighting. It was the middle of the night and you were sleeping on Blitz's couch after a movie marathon when you were woken to the sounds of a struggle. The voices grew louder as you finally got to the door. You threw open the door to see Blitz being held at gun point by Striker, the imp who tried to kill Stolas.

"What's this?" The rattle of his tail weirded you out slightly. "You're lover?" You warily watched as he continued to hold his gun at Blitz. While his eyes were trained on you, Blitz quickly pulled out a gun from his pajama shirt. Does he sleep with it there? Makes sense.

"Leave them out of this!" Blitz started shooting and kicked over his love seat to use as cover while Striker used the bed, pushed back from the wall. You dove behind the love seat next to Blitz. You noticed a gun strapped to one of the wooden bones of the couch and grabbed it to help shoot.

"So, Striker's back..." You fired more shots from the side of the couch and hear Blitz's snort.

"Yeah, he just couldn't stay away from this hot piece of ass." He smacked his ass for emphasis, making you laugh a little. You looked out from the side to shoot more at the offending imp, only to find he's not there, he's crouching on the tipped over couch, pointing his gun at Blitz.

Everything seem to happen so fast, you dove over and threw yourself over Blitz, barely registering the pain erupting from your back. They both looked on for a mminute in shock before Blitz let out a loud growl and raised his gun. He shot Striker in the arm then kicked him off the couch, holding you all the while. Your vision was fading inand out, you were going to pass out from the pain. There was shouting and then a window breaking before gentle touches and panicked murmurs.

"Hang on, Y/n, I called Moxxie, he'll help you, just-just stay awake!" Those were the last words you heard before you couldn't fight it any longer, and succumbed to the darkness.

~*~

Blitz saw Y/n's eyes close and their face relax, their body limp. Panic increased his heart reate and breathing. He gently picked them up, and took them to the livingroom. Their small groan of pain made him relax slightly. They were still breathing, they'll be okay. That last part was a hope that he had to hold onto.

"Dammit Y/n, we still have to go horseback riding together, you promised..." He felt useless as he laid them on the couch, on their stomach to make sure the wound wouldn't be affected, not knowing what to do. He wished Moxxie would hurry the FUCK up. "You can't just leave me alone like this, there are so many things we were gonna do together." He put his forehead against their's.

"Okay! I have everything needed! Where-?!" Moxxie burst into the apartment and laid eyes on Blitz and Y/n. "Oh, crumbs!" He rushed to the pair and set all the supplies down next to the couch. Blitz moved out of the way and anxiously watched as Moxxie lifted Y/n's shirt to assess the damage.

"Can you fix them?" Blitz hated how small and desperate his voice sounded, but he was scared. Terrified at the idea of losing them. They were his best friend, his partner in crime. His...He realized then that he was in love with you and cursed that he didn't realize sooner. It wouldn't have made a difference, though, he had thought. You would still be on his couch, bleeding out, clinging to whatever the fuck kind of existance you called this, while he stood there, crushed.

Moxxie didn't answer, too busy cleaning up the blood and stopping the bleeding. That was fine, Blitz wanted him to pour all of his attention into fixing you up.

~*~

You woke up on your stomach to a sharp pain in your back and let out a small cry of pain. The memories of what happened came rushing back fast enough to make your head spin. You didn't even try to get up. Fast footsteps made their way to you from somewhere else before a ragged Blitz came into view. He saw your eyes open and rushed over to you.

"Y/n! You're awake! How do you feel? Do you need anything?" He was in your face, his breath smelled horrible and there were bags under his eyes. When was the last time he slept?

"Water," you rasped out, your throat felt like a desert. How long have you been out for? Blitz was gone and back in a flash, bringing back a glass with a straw in it so you wouldn't have to sit up, how thoughtful.

"Here you are!" He held it for you as you drank and took it back when you were finished. You lifted your arms and try to lift yourself up before Blitz walked back in to see you. He rushed over and gently helped you.

"Fuck," you hissed out in pain. He helped you sit up,m making sure not to touch the exact spot on your back that was shot.

"Maybe when you're feeling better." His response made you stare at his smirk in confusion for a second until it registered. You laughed slightly, making his smile wider.

"Ha ha, Blitz." You rolled your eyes. "I might keep you to that, though." You grunted in pain as another wave of it crashed over your back. Blitz handed you painkillers and a cup of water that you didn't notice he brought back from the kitchen. You gladly took it and downed the water, pill in mouth.

"Hey, Y/n?" Blitz looked at you with slight nervousness, picking at his sleeve, a habit he had picked up from you. "I..." Your eyes met and there was a sort of hesitant softness to his gaze. It was rare that Blitz looked so vulnerable, so small. He took a breath in then out.

"Y/n, when you were shot, I-I didn't know what to do. All my mind could think of is that you'd be dying in my apartment because of the business I'm in, on my couch while I stood there, watching it happen. I realized that I don't want to lose you, that I love you so much." You blinked at his words. That was a lot of mush that Blitz normally hates and he just said it to you. You had never seen him so honest.

"Blitz that was a whole lotta cheese," you saw him deflate a little, "But I love you too." He was quick to kiss you after that. You giggled, ignoring the pain in your back and kissed him back.

[i-did]

HELLO 👋 I WAS SENT HERE BY PALMETT-HOES. What are your thoughts on the foxes + tattoos?? Originally it was Neil + tattoos but if you have thoughts of the other foxes too I'd love to hear them if you want to share 🥺

Okay, so I actually might try to become a tattoo artist and love tattoo culture. I also have already about 30 tattoos, some the size of my whole hand and some the size of a quarter, a lot of mixed and matched stuff. I also always try to think of the foxes in their timeline, so 2006-2007 era, and when I think said foxes would get tattoos in their life and why. 

NEIL

First off: I personally HC Neil has keloid scarring and a lot of scarring so tattooing is hard on his skin. I have a friend who has more scars than I've ever seen on anyone else IRL before and we both love tattoos but even with him trying to prep the artist, unless they were a scar micropigmentation expert, they usually underestimated how hard it was going to be to tattoo on his skin. It's uneven and dense and doesn’t hold ink well. His non-scarred skin faired a lot better but his skin was something artists just weren't prepared for. I might get some micropigmentation on some skin grafts I got to even out the coloring and make it look more “natural” but I’m waiting to see if the pigment will settle and heal more first. 

I personally don't see Neil ever getting a tattoo, and this bums a lot of people out lmao. I think his scars are too thick and too raised and it's too cosmetic and aesthetic centric for it to be something on his radar. On his skin that isn't touched by scars I think he would want to leave as be mostly out of neutrality. I don't see Neil as the type of sentimental tattooer, I see him thinking “well if it matters to me I remember it” sort of and him wanting to keep the really deep stuff personal just for himself and even another person putting it on him is someone else there. I think if he were ever to get a tattoo, he would be like… idk it would be the kind that says “yes I got shot, stop asking” over a bullet hole scar or like that one guy whos missing his leg and above it there's a tattoo that says “one foot in the grave” that's the only type of tattoo I can see Neil doing and even still I'm not convinced he would do it. 

ANDREW

I don't ever see Andrew covering up his scars with tattoos either. I think he likes how the armbands can come on and off and be fully covered to not at all. He's not ashamed of them but he's private, and I think the tattoos could seem like he's trying to hide them when he's not-it's just nobody's business. I think if he were to get anything it would be American-traditional, it ages well, its classic, and doesn't really go out of style. Before the…. Let's say 80s, there weren't the different tattoo “styles” like there are today. It was just… tattoos in America. There was Japanese-style tattooing and then American-style tattooing, and since tattooing started curating its underground culture in the ’50s in America… those circles did not blend. They do now, but they sure as hell didn't then. So I could see Andrew with American-traditional because it's classic and I could see it appealing to him, but I could also see Russian prison tattoo style black-work something that appeals to him too. Get him some gulag tats. However if he had those, and since I currently HC him as white and with a buzzed or grown-out messy buzzed head, he would deadass look like a fuckin skinhead so... yeah lmao. Overall I don't see Andrew getting tattoos really, but if he would, American-traditional seems fitting. 

KEVIN

Okay, so Kevin out here looking like a MF SoundCloud rapper with his single face tat and nothing else going on. I know it might be OOC but since his mom is Irish and I HC his dad as Maori (even tho in the canon Wymack likely has 90s new age tribalism, which is a complicated issue but instead I choose culturally significant tattoos over the tattoo trend that was largely popularized by a movie lmao anyways-).

So I think Kevin is the only one who dives into tattoo culture and bonds over it with his dad. If he just has the chess piece, it still feels like a branding, like a mark so distinct against the rest of him, but one full sleeve of Celtic knots and symbols and the other arm full of Maori's distinct tattoos of swirls and symbols could be a cool way for him to reclaim his own skin and have it not be something he did just to cover something up, but make tattooing something connecting him to his cultures and family. 

NICKY

Nicky is the guy who got like, fierce, or pride, or something like that tattooed if he got a tattoo. I see Nicky getting a pride tattoo of some kind maybe and it being calligraphy or like if Nicky/Erik is a bear then he gets a bear paw. I could also see him getting his and Erik’s wedding date tattooed somewhere. I also don't see him as the type who didn't know how much research and shit goes into finding the artist for you, and kinda assumes you can go to just anyone and just walk in and then was like “wait what” when he couldn’t (or couldn't if he wanted to get exactly what he had in mind) so he probably got/gets tattooed by some non-homophobic apprentice, maybe even that apprentices first tattoo, and also since Nicky is Mexican and darker-skinned I doubt he thinks to put on sunscreen and the sun makes his ink lines bleed and so it doesn't age the best (it be like that). 

ALLISON

Got a trendy tramp stamp to like, really stick it to her parents. Right on her lower back I bet it's the classic 2000s swirls and a butterfly and some of those stars, idk what they're called. If she was a young 20-year-old now tho she totally would have gotten a fine line tattoo, like not a tight three, a real 1 needle tattoo. They were seen as really nice back then and “so Cali” and like I could see /maybe/ her getting it done before she's 30 but they were not that common yet and like micro-realism is so new we still kinda don't know how it's going to age at all since tattoos before it have been designed they way they have for aging. Again if she got a micro-realism/single needle tattoo tho it would be something kinda basic like a butterfly or like a lion. I swear I've seen the same google image lion tattooed on a lotta people and like IDC it's your skin. But yeah, she gets the classic 2000s swirl butterfly and stars tattoo above her crack one night, maybe after a really bad phone call with her parents and she got drunk and pissed off. Maybe someone said she couldn't take the pain. (which btw, tattoos don’t hurt as much as they make them out to be in shows and shit, they can hurt tho)

DAN

I HC Dan as very dark-skinned, she's 75% black and 25% Sioux and grew up in a very very white area when outside her home on the res. Tattoo culture is still really sexist and really colorist, and at this point in history I think if she ever did want a tattoo, she maybe asked vaguely about it and they flat out said “I don't know how to tattoo on black skin” or “it doesn't go with my art” which… are shithole excuses and I think she thought, “well fuck u too” and never thought about it much since then. 

RENEE

I HC as Renee as darker-skinned than Dan, and like the only places she could possibly get tattooed are maybe her palms, the bottoms of her feet, or her inner mouth probably. Some people genuinely are so dark that tattooing is hard, because it's based on the concept of black ink on a lighter surface, which is why scarification catches on in cultures where the skin is too dark to pigment with ink effectively. However, the idea of fuckin, 15-year-old Renee who is still Natalie with “PU$$Y” tattooed in her mouth kinda sends me. I think lil kid Renee thought she was gangster, and tbh she was, and I could see her getting some “fuck you/in your face” tattoo, especially if she was a lesbian in such a homophobic world, getting that tattooed is even better. We also know she got her back tatted in the EC with angel wings that look almost closer to dragon wings, so I imagine they show up as almost raised dark lines like scars from the untrained tattoo artist going way too deep, making it a cross between a tattoo and scarification, even if accidental. (also white ink really wasn't a thing yet and even now is still kinda hard to tell how it will heal, so that's why I don't think she gets any white ink tats)

MATT

He's a rich boy from NYC, he could really get like… whatever he wants. Once he's famous he can afford it that's for sure, but even before then he could with his allowance similar to Allison (even if on a completely different level). However, I doubt he gets anything lol. He's not particularly religious in my HC and doesn't have the same sense of being lost like I feel Kevin does with his own parents (I mean Kevin was raised like an orphan, kinda so it makes sense). I need to develop Matt’s background further on what it means to him personally to be a Filipino-American. I have several ideas about how his parents met in the Philippines and then came here but I would need to flesh out locations and then local cultures and then his parents said opinions on tattoos and then how matt would react to said opinions. I could see him possibly getting something for dan or his kids tattooed on. Which really makes me want to have him get his first kid's name tattooed really big or intricate somewhere like on his chest over his heart and then his kid comes out as trans and he's like “...fuck” lmao and gets it removed maybe and then redone or something. I see him viewing tattoos are personal and symbolic, and if he would get something it would probably be family-oriented, possibly Dan's portrait or like his baby's footprint which I've seen before. 

AARON & SETH

Stick and pokes were not nearly as common then as they are now, and I feel like people kinda have to remember how taboo tattooing was then and still is now in a lot of cultures. My family is Not happy lmaoo. But it is what it is. Stick and Pokes were not a thing bored white middle-class teens did like I see them doing now. It was seen as super sketchy and I know someone who was 16 getting tattooed in a garage by someone who was both drunk and just out of prison for the first time, and that was seen as sketchy as stick and pokes at the time. I could imagine either Seth or Aaron having a failed and fucked up stick and poke tattoo, and out of the two of them, Seth seems like the drunk tat guy. Maybe once he got drunk and mad as fuck after Allison and him broke up and she said he didn't seem serious enough so he got her name drunkenly tattooed on his arm or something and then she was even more pissed because it was spelled wrong “YOU FORGOT THE SECOND L OMFG SETH.” (I can also imagine his future girlfriends don't love it lmao). I also love the idea of Seth just having Marvin the Martian or the Tasmanian Devil tattooed on his ass.

Anyways sorry for the lack of pictures but I didn't want to do that... so I didn't. I didn't go into niche tattoo culture and history like I was expecting myself to but this also got fuckin long. Might not be what you were hoping for at all but it is my current opinion on the foxes and tattoos. (This is also surprisingly free of my own personal aesthetic opinions on tattoos and that I'm kinda proud of ngl, since my preference is none of these, but also I grew up in a very different tattoo time than them)

[theonceoverthinker]

Staff of Creation Theory Thoughts and Companion Theory

So, like most people in the Fair Game community, I’ve taken notice of the Staff of Creation Theory created by @fairgame-is-canon. To be honest, it took me a while to really believe in the theory -- no offense to fairgame-is-canon, he did a wonderful job creating it, and it’s got some serious backing by all sorts of great fairy tale meta. However, given how much of a blow 7X12 was to my confidence in the writing of RWBY, the new brand of pessimism it birthed in me felt that while the theory itself was good, it was also a stretch. But with more information being DISCORD-vered (Because puns) every day in the group page, I re-evaluated my feelings and started to think what I felt like a Clover resurrection would be like if this theory were true.

And as I thought on it, I found myself differing with the consensus as to some of the circumstances of the resurrection, namely Ironwood’s motivation for using it, how he would get the staff with the new Maiden, and the sacrificed being that would allow for it to happen. Again, I say this not as a slight to fairgame-is-canon, quite the contrary -- he’s one of the leading figures in the #CloverDeservedBetter movement, and I respect the hell out of him as well as consider him a friend -- but just as a fun ‘it could also go like this’ companion theory, so to speak. This one also won’t reference a lot of the meta aspects that back up this theory since that was all done by people far more apt to take it on than myself, but it will instead be focused on the story and character directions that would ultimately inform and follow this decision, in universe.

Now, with all of that said, let’s get to it!

The biggest point of difference between my version of the theory and fairgame-is-canon’s is Ironwood’s motivation for bringing back Clover in the first place. While I think it does make a lot of sense, I personally don’t fully subscribe to the theory that James will give his life to get Clover back. And to be fair, I think his thoughts on why Ironwood would bring him back are super well thought out -- I’m just coming out of V7 with a less than optimistic viewpoint over whether Ironwood can be redeemed at this point. I’m simply not really convinced he can be.

I can guess what you’re probably thinking: If I don’t believe James can be redeemed, then how will Clover be able to come back?

Well, I have a...darker opinion about how that’s going to happen.

To understate things, James is in a BAD spot right now. He lost control over the Winter Maiden, he no longer has access to the Staff of Creation (More on that problem in a minute), he’s all alone, his resources are exhausted, Grimm are destroying Mantle, and oh yeah -- SALEM IS ON HIS DOORSTEP WITH A FREAKIN’ GRIMM WHALE OF DOOM! So now, even his plan of retreating with the staff is utterly moot since Salem is -- again -- RIGHT THERE!

James needs a little bit of help, and a WHOLE LOTTA luck.

Say, wasn’t there someone who used to provide that for him?

So James hears that Qrow and Robyn were brought in, and goes to find out where Clover is, unaware that Clover’s dead.

But Qrow is fast to let him know that.

He SCREAMS at James for Clover’s death, swearing revenge in a rage. James doesn’t even know how to take all of this. Clover’s dead...he truly is doomed.

But during Qrow’s outburst, James notices something -- Clover’s pin in Qrow’s hand.

And then he gets an idea.

James confiscates the pin, and ignoring Qrow’s loud protests and promises of revenge, takes a walk over to the hospital wing.

He walks past Clover’s bed, oddly and notably offhandedly, and instead goes a few doors down...to where Winter’s hospital bed is.

Winter is apologetic for losing control of the Winter Maiden, but James is surprisingly not furious. Instead, he simply and stoically asks who the Winter Maiden is.

And whether intentionally or not, Winter reveals the answer to him.

It’s Penny.

With that revelation, the last piece of James’ plan falls into place, and far easier than he expected it to be at its conception.

Now, Penny may be the Winter Maiden, and emotionally, she’s a real girl first, but she’s also a robot, and a robot James has assured others in the past is under his control.

What if that wasn’t just fluff, said to comfort the already apprehensive council?

And what if, just like he did team RWBYJNROQ’s scrolls, James can take control over Penny whenever he wants?

From the safety of the airship, Penny is unintentionally propelled away from her friends and through the sky back to Atlas Academy. It’s absolutely HORRIFYING to watch, and tragic as even after receiving the ultimate moment of validation that she IS a real girl, Penny is reminded that real girl or not, she’s a robot at the end of the day and just as subject to a certain level of powerlessness as ever. Ruby stretches out her arm as much as she can to try and grab her -- she might even go into Petal Burst mode...but she fails.

James forces her to open the vault, grabs the staff, sacrifices a random minion of his (Or maybe Watts, and that’s why he kept Watts alive), and brings Clover back.

And the episode ends with James holding the staff, and a blinding blue light taking over.

The next one begins at the hospital. The flatline that is next to Clover’s body slowly springs back to life.

Clover wakes up in the same hospital bed that he was in in the previous episode, gasping as he recalls the last moments of his life. Instinctively, he looks to his stomach, which is now whole once more (Pun intended), maybe with a neat blue scar to match the staff’s color.

The nurses and doctors are astounded, and so is he but before they can say anything, Clover runs out of bed.

He's alive, and he needs Qrow to know that.

He RUNS to the jail and DEMANDS to see Qrow, pushing past the guards and running directly into the line of cells.

Qrow and Robyn are sitting in a cell towards the back when suddenly, Qrow hears his name called by an impossible person.

"QROW!"

Qrow and Robyn barely have a moment to register who is calling his name before Clover shows up on the other side of the cell.

It’s all Qrow can do to not lose his balance, and Robyn (Who is also more than a bit happy herself) helps him stay on his feet as he approaches Clover. You can see in Qrow’s eyes that he’s wondering if this is a dream, or if he’s truly gone insane.

But no...something gets through to him that this is the real Clover Ebi.

Through the bars, forgetting everything and everyone else just for this moment, they hug, unashamed of everything that they mean to each other. Qrow might tear up a bit.

Clover is about to call over a guard to release them, but then remembers...Qrow was put under arrest for more than just his murder.

That’s when both of them (Plus Robyn) ask how this is even possible.

And then, James comes in.

He tells Clover that he brought him back because he is his most loyal aide, and then directs him out of the jail cell. Clover really doesn't want to leave -- not without Qrow -- but James refuses. Reluctantly, Clover complies with James’ wishes, but before that happens, once James has left the cell, he promises Qrow and Robyn he'll figure this out and convince James to free them.

Throughout the volume, Clover comes to realize how fucked up James' priorities are, but still thinks his mind can be changed. During this time, he also visits the prison once or twice to confer with Qrow and Robyn. It's during those visits that we learn just why Clover trusts James so much. My theory is that James never made Clover feel like he was just his semblance, and was useful for his skills and kind heart.

But then, he inadvertently finds out that James indeed did only revive Clover for his semblance. James is stoic once this truth comes to light, and alongside the doubts that had already been overwhelming Clover over James’ priorities, this convinces Clover to finally leave James’ company.

It's exciting, non?

AND there's more

@whipped4qrow helped me out with this one

Clover then goes to the jail to finally free Qrow and Robyn...but they aren't there (Think Zuko trying to rescue Iroh in “The Day of Black Sun” in ATLA).

That's right! The Happy Huntresses freed them!

But Clover knows where they're going, and this time, he’s staying on Qrow’s side until the bitter end.

We catch up with Qrow an episode later, and after leaving the Happy Huntresses to pursue another Grimm, Tyrian finds him, and the two are set up for another fight. 

However, Qrow's all alone, and after fighting a bunch of Grimm (Probably not even using Harbinger), Tyrian is FAR more equipped to take him on than vice versa. He has Qrow on the ropes, but suddenly, Tyrian is propelled backwards by his tail, screaming as he flies through the air.

Qrow is on the floor, and panics because snow dust covers his vision. He’s unsure of what will happen next. 

But then, he sees a hand through the dust, and takes it.

And as the dust clears, he sees Clover standing there, holding his hand, and smiling.

“Need some help?”

Qrow smiles back. 

“You bet I do.”

And together, they beat the SHIT outta Tyrian!

I don’t have any real predictions beyond that, but I think this companion theory gives way to complete Clover, James, Tyrian, and Qrow’s character arcs.

...That’s all, folks.

[nevillelongsbottom]

the loop pairing: newt scamander/credence barebone word count: 1849 for the @hogwartsonline february quidditch

This is Newt’s fiftieth February 14; as he gets up, he wonders if he could count it as an anniversary. But it still doesn’t feel like something to celebrate, trapped in one Valentine’s Day for an interminable period of time.

He has bunked off school for the past twenty, so supposes he might as well attend today, even though he knows all of his lessons by heart now. He considers sneaking into other lessons, or spending his day in the library. He sighs.

He hopes he doesn’t die today. He doesn’t always, but he choked yesterday and he can still feel the ghost of it in his throat.

Maybe, he thinks as he scoops his cat Pippa from his bed so that he can make it, he should celebrate Valentine’s Day for his fiftieth day. He gave up a while ago, after eating too many chocolate caramel hearts. Nobody at school has bought himself anything for the chocolate exchange. It disappoints him a little every day, and he can’t tell if it’s because he’s half-jealous of Jacob and Queenie being such sweethearts or if he’s feeling a little lonely. He hums, kissing Pippa’s head.

He borrows his mum’s iPod before he leaves the house. As in almost every repeat of the day, he almost misses the bus: no matter what time he leaves the house, he seems eternally fated to have to run down the street, sitting at the back of the forty-two in a cloud of sweat. Today, he’s listening to Kurt Vile and Courtney Barnett’s Lotta Sea Lice. He knows the words off by heart now; the first week or two of his loop, he mostly listened to David Bowie and Buddy Holly, but ever since he’s been jumping around his and his mother’s music tastes. He wonders if he’ll hate these songs if he leaves the loop, if they’ll remind him of the claustrophobia of being stuck.

But as of right now, he still loves Kurt Vile, loves the blues riff that hangs over his repeated day.

In the foyer, Seraphina and Abernathy are manning the Valentine’s chocolate stall. This is one of the only things that isn’t stagnant throughout his loops: the people in charge of the stall fluctuate with no discernible pattern, and Newt has never actually seen this particular pairing of student council members in charge of the stall before. Abernathy isn’t a fan of Valentine’s Day.

“Can I tempt you to buy someone some chocolates, Newt?” Seraphina asks, smiling wirily at him, knowing he’s more likely to say no. “They’re caramel hearts. They’re delicious. Everybody loves chocolate. Even Abernathy is sending some.”

“Hey,” Abernathy sniffs.

“To Gellert?” Newt asks. Abernathy sighs. His unrequited love for the student council vice president has never been particularly subtle. Newt smiles sympathetically. “I suppose I’ll send some.” He hands over a two-pound coin he’s spent on everything from sweets to a terrific bright red sale bowler from Primark.

“Who are you sending them to?” she asks, and with it, the implication of platonic or romantic?

“Credence Barebone,” Newt answers. Seraphina raises an eyebrow. Newt fixedly says nothing in return.

“And would you like to send a note?” she asks, proffering a piece of red card cut into the shape of a heart. “You can write it yourself. I don’t have to listen to your sweet nothings. But maybe refrain from any animal similes.”

“I’m not very romantic,” Newt admits, taking the Sharpie and musing for a few moments before writing carry on, my dear. fondly from Newt. Abernathy peers at it, but Seraphina is professional and turns it over, marking it with Credence’s name. “I hope he likes it.”

“Everybody likes chocolate,” Abernathy says. “Even Gellert.”

Newt has never told Credence that he liked him before. He’s not even sure that my dear and fondly count. But he’s done this day fifty times, watched Credence sit on his own at lunch time eating a pathetic excuse for a lunch, watched him shrink away when the Valentine’s chocolates get delivered.

And Newt can’t watch anymore, not even when he knows that this day will probably pass.

He doesn’t get to see his chocolates delivered - there are deliveries in the classes he shares with Credence, one in maths that the recipient shares around so they eat theirs together over rearranging equations. Credence understands this more than Newt does, still, even though he’s explained it repeatedly. Newt only gets a little better. He smiles at Credence as they eat. Perhaps he’ll never really get the intricacies of it all, or understand why certain things have to be done in maths, or get why he has to be given such stupidly difficult questions, but Credence will always be here to try and explain it through different paradigms.

“Do you wanna stop for a minute?” Credence asks softly, sensing Newt’s acute frustrations over a particularly vexing x. Newt nods, and they take the moment to eat.

“Thank you,” Newt says. “For helping me with maths. I know I’m not very good at it.”

Credence flushes. “That’s okay,” he says, and looks at Newt as if he wants to say something else, but doesn’t. He just finishes eating, turns back to the textbook, and asks if Newt has figured out what to do yet.

Newt’s last class of the day is a double of art, and he is currently occupied with carrying out a series of paintings of animals inspired by the style of John J. Audubon’s Birds of America. The one bonus of the loop, he thinks, is that he’s had time to improve his art, and learn from his mistakes. He’s starting to get adept at this particular painting of a cockatiel, knows exactly the best colours to mix and the best brushes to use.

What’s never happened before, assumedly because Newt has never sent chocolate before, is the arrival of Credence. The art department is relaxed, with students working all across the rooms with a variety of equipment, and so there isn’t a teacher to question his arrival: it’s just Newt, his Bluetooth speakers, and Horchata by Vampire Weekend.

“Hello,” he says, noticing Credence and setting down his brush.

“Hi,” says Credence. “Thank you for the chocolates. That was very nice - they were very nice.” Credence pauses for a moment, and Newt waits, lets his mind turn. “I kept some. I thought you could have some, too.”

“Oh, thank you very much.” Newt gestures to a nearby stool (art departments, of course, do not seem to understand the concept of chairs), which Credence pulls up. “I’m sorry. I know those chocolates were awfully forward.”

“No, I - I know I’m not supposed to like you like that, that it’s not right, but I…” Credence flushes. “I do.”

Newt raises his eyebrows. “Well, ah… that’s good.” He laughs. “I wasn’t expecting that. I’m sorry. Listen, do you want to talk about this more another time? Maybe over coffee? There’s that nice one across the street, the Blind Pig…”

Credence nods. “I would - like that.”

Newt beams. “Okay. Uhm, tomorrow’s Friday, so we could always go after school then, if you aren’t busy?”

“Ma expects me home in good time to go flyering,” Credence says, his voice quieting for a moment, “but I’m sure I can - maybe an hour.” He glances at the canvas. “I told my teacher I was sick, so can I… watch you paint, maybe? Or - or I don’t have to, if that’ll put you off.”

Newt smiles, popping a chocolate in his mouth and picking up his brush. He didn’t expect this day to go so well: what an anniversary, he thinks. The thing that saddens him is the idea that tomorrow isn’t going to come, that he’s never going to make it to that coffee date with Credence in the artisanal coffee shop opposite their school campus. He’s glad that Credence likes him back, that he isn’t completely overwhelmed by his heavily conservative Christian upbringing, that he’s willing to try it and risk it - for Newt.

Newt just has to enjoy the rest of the day as best he can. And tomorrow - the next February 14th - he’ll miss it.

The incredibly loud start to Harry Nilsson’s Gotta Get Up playing on Newt’s speakers jolts him awake, and he jolts out of bed, just catching himself before he topples to the floor. He groans. “God, Mum-”

“Do I look that much like her?” Theseus demands, and Newt looks up, rather surprised to see the tall figure of his brother standing in his doorframe. Nobody told him that Theseus was coming to visit from Durham, and furthermore - this hasn’t happened before. Theseus has never been here. Newt’s heart glimmers with hope.

“Well, when you had that long hair, you certainly did,” Newt answers, climbing out of bed and into Theseus’s obligatory bear hug, which he also uses as a chance to ruffle Newt’s already bedraggled hair. “When did you get here? Mum didn’t say you were coming.”

“I thought I would surprise you,” Theseus says. “Though mostly I’m here for the free lunches. My bank account looks like I’ve been through an economic crisis.”

“Stop buying fancy clothes and that’ll change.”

“I’m not going to be one of those students who shows up to their lectures in tracksuits. I’m here to learn. Seriously. And get drunk. Seriously. And also, I made breakfast, so get the fuck downstairs before it all goes cold and you better appreciate it. I haven’t used more than a microwave in about three months and I almost set fire to the house.”

Newt laughs, hurrying downstairs and sorting his hair as he goes; and as he does, he checks the clock in the living room, the one that has the date.

He’s scared to look, but he has to. Today already feels new.

Friday, February 15th.  

It always rains when Credence wakes up. He always wakes up early, has to make breakfast for himself and a good deal of the area’s children, and the thing that seems to characterise five in the morning is that there’s always a drizzle outside. He sighs, smoothing his hair down and quickly dressing: it isn’t as if he has much variety in outfits, only having a few pieces from thrift shops.

That loop went so well. It disappoints him that it’s over, and that Newt is probably going to go back to never giving him flowers again. It’s just going to be February 14, and Newt will either be there or he won’t, and nothing will change.

He wedges open his window, ignoring the rain.

“Here we go again,” he murmurs to himself, and, as he passes by it, checks his calendar out of habit. At the end of each day, he crosses the day off: it keeps him on top of things, lets him know what he has coming up, reduces his focus on the past. And he’s been doing it every day, every February 14th, just in case he ever makes it to the next day.

His breath hitches.

There’s a cross in the February 14 box.

[mook-pooltable]

Uncle Sam AU

Rosie: Okay, the first idea I had is a crossover idea that could result in something similar to my HatID story that partially inspired by an idea I saw on Ao3.

Harry, while still in school, goes to Gringotts and asks for a hereditary test to find out if he has any other living family besides the Dursleys (cause let's face it, he's *desperate* to get away from them). He finds out he had someone who's still around on his mother's side of the family, a cousin of his grandfather, Harold Evans.

The man's name is "Sammy Lawrence". The test shows if the other members are alive, cast out of the family, or other such statuses by showing their names in different colors, and *his* name is written in an unusual color. The color in question means “Alive but Incapacitated” (Or something along those lines)

Mango: OOOOO yes i like this

Rosie: (Maybe "Entrapped" would be better?)

Mango: (ye, that would probably work better)

Rosie: Harry, being desperate for *any chance* of a family member that doesn't hate his existence, decided he wanted to find his Great Uncle Sammy. The goblins say they can run an investigation for him, while he goes through the proper channels to get to the states while underage. (Which also includes finding a place to stay, getting a passport, etcetera.)

Mango: i'd love to read this fanfic.

Rosie: The things get a little, weird.

Mango: no doubt

Poe: question: is sammy mom or dad's side of the family, i’m thinking dad but...

Rosie: Sammy Lawrence had gone missing years ago, along with most of the employees at the Cartoon Studio where he worked. But there was never an investigation by MACUSA since the Grindlewald War was still going on and had finally reached American shores. Sammy was the cousin of Harry's grandfather on his mother's side of the family.

Poe: gotcha gotcha

Rosie: Harry, still wanting to know more, decides he's going to go overseas anyway and maybe find and look around the Studio himself. But the goblins are smart enough (and not willing to lose such a valued customer) to set up a "Back Up" time frame for him. Meaning when he goes, if he doesn't contact them after a certain period of time, they will send people to go looking for him.

Mango: smart

Rosie: This, in turn, keeps Harry from being absolutely terrified while in the studio. He knows help is coming, he just needs to keep calm and safe until they arrive.

Mango: poor naive boy

Rosie: Overall, it's good logic. He needs to keep himself safe, and he needs to not fall into a mindless panic.

Mango: true

Rosie: But then he meets Sammy. Sammy is a lot of things (including crazy), but he knows that his "Lord" was born from a children's cartoon character, and probably wouldn't be happy with him if he tried to sacrifice a child.

Mango: ohhh boy

Rosie: So he tries to catch Harry, and move him to a "safer" place.

Mango: awww

Rosie: But he doesn't know about Harry's fight reflexes. The ones the wizarding world trained into him.  Sammy gets a stunner to the face for his efforts.

Mango: oof then he reverts to true salt briefly "listen, kid, i'm trying to keep you safe!"

Rosie: "I'm sorry! You startled me!" Sammy; What are you even doing here? Harry; I-I'm looking for someone.

Mango: "tell me their name, i might know of them"

Rosie: "Sammy, Sammy Lawrence. He-He was my Mum's Uncle. I wanted to find him." Cue silent shock.

Mango: sammy freezes up at that

Lili: I LOVE THIS

Rosie: 'I had a niece?' I think Sammy is going to be an older cousin of Harry's grand-dad. Like, a much older cousin.

Mango: "well, you found me, kid, now what?"

Rosie: (well hello awkward silence, how nice of you to join us.)

Mango: (XD)

Rosie: I dunno what would happen then, but I think it would "end" with the Goblins sending a full rescue team of Curse Breakers after the first few arrive and sense the sheer *volume* of dark magic from the studio, and then Sammy is living a mostly sane ink man with his great-nephew while being treated by the local magical hospital. And all wizards that show up at their door get the full brunt of Sammy Salt.

Mango: i want sammy getting salty at hogwarts

Rosie: I envision lots of shorts that would basically be "The Life and Times of a Wizard and an Ink Man".

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: Harry is very interested in Curse Breaking and Medical Magic now. Sammy is pissed that Hogwarts doesn't offer proper Music and Drama programs. "What do you *mean* you never had a music class there?!"

Mango: he has half a mind to storm up to the school and DEMAND an arts program

Rosie: "Get me an instrument, no one in my family is *not* going to know how to play *something* musical." Hell, he'd probably teach the kids *himself* with how offended he'd be at the concept. "I don't care if it's a bloody *recorder* Harry, you are going to learn to play music."

Trash Ma: he did have that flute hagrid made him in first year

Rosie: Oh, that's perfect!

Trash Ma: The one that sounded like an owl That Harry used to get past fluffy

Rosie: Yes. "My, that's actually quite nice. Now you'll need to hold it like this..." Sammy turns out to be pretty good with kids. Or, at least, he's good with Harry. I like this new idea. "Good Dad" Sammy. It has a nice ring to it.

Mango: sammy? a dad? yes please

Rosie: Or at least "Good Uncle" Sammy. I want to see wizards trying to handle Angry Ink Man Sammy acting in defense of his nephew.

Mango: y e s also, the Dursleys getting tried for child abuse

Rosie: Harder to pull with Sammy still being and ink man. He can't exactly stand up in court. Unless it was a Magical Court. Now then, back to Uncle Sam.

Mango: UNCLE SAM everyone at hogwarts being a little confused about harry's inky american uncle

Rosie: How about after finding out was his great-nephew, he gets super protective of him in the Studio.

Mango: y e s

Rosie: "Oh no, 'My Lord' can go *fuck* himself, I'm not letting him lay a *single finger* on you."

Trash Ma: So is sammu related to lily or james

Mango: and i am 1000000% behind uncle sammy protecting harry in the studio

Rosie: Lily.

Mango: sammy's the cousin of lily's grandpa, right?

Rosie: Lily's dad, Harry's grandpa. He's the older cousin of Lily's dad.

Mango: ah makes sense

Trash Ma: Harry's grandpa's name was also Harry  i mean not canonically but i like that

Rosie: I wrote it as Harold. He was named "Harry" in honor of him.

Trash Ma: yaaaaass

Mango: i like this

Rosie: Sammy is now also dead set on getting Harry out of the Studio safely. Even when the Salt is mostly replaced by Crazy, he still wants Harry out of there Safely. He ditches the Bendy mask at some point too.

Mango: he's not letting harry see that

Rosie: As the Curse Breakers extract more people/toons from the studio, they end up being placed under the care of House Potter, since Harry is letting the Goblins fund the clean out with money from the Potter vaults. Since his search was what started it all. So Harry's ending up with a big, messed up, traumatized, and mentally wounded family living under his roof.

Mango: LOTTA TOONS

Rosie: And Sammy ending up the "Boss" of the house since he's the "oldest member" of Harry's family (and is now his guardian thanks to the Goblins) What if Uncle Sam was one of those border-line Hover Parents? He doesn't hover Harry's shoulder, but he *does* repeatedly stuck his head in the room and go "Everything alright in here?" Also, someone starts laughing really hard the first time Sammy gets called "Uncle Sam". Then they start confusing people by quoting the recruiting posters. "Uncle Sam wants YOU!" "Oh, shut up, would you?" Harry is so confused.

Poe: Pfft

Rosie: I want Sammy to start having one of his "Prophet"- Episodes while Dumbledore is trying to talk him into sending Harry back to Dursleys. "No, it's not going to happen. I will not allow it. He WiLl nOt be gOinG BaCk to TheM!" "Uncle Sammy, please calm down! Professor, I think you should leave for now." Dumbledore; "Now Harry, I'm sure we can talk this-" Harry; "No sir, Uncle Sammy has some issues he's still recovering from. I need to stay because I'm the only one that's safe when it kicks in. You should *really* leave Professor." Sammy; "LeAVe uS, Old GOaT. Or YoU'lL be An OfFerEd sHeEP." *Sammy starts singing the Sheep song from the game*

Lili: :D But also D: I love it But poor everyone

Rosie: *Harry pulls Sammy away and shoves Dumbles out the door* And yet the Goblins still had proof that Sammy (even with his Schizophrenia) was a better guardian for Harry than the Dursleys. The Prophet is obsessively protective of Harry. And still does a good job caring for him. Lots of food, hugs- he's actually kind of dotting, to be honest. He just talks crazy while doing it. Harry has gotten very good at cleaning spells. They have this weird balance for who's the Kid and who's the Adult. When Sammy's head is clear, he's the stable adult that makes sure Harry is happy and healthy and doing well with the school stuff he has.

Poe: Oh my god that's so cute and also sad I love it

Lili: PERFECT MIX OF FLUFF AND ANGST

Rosie: When the Prophet is out, Harry is the one keeping track of things and making sure Sammy doesn't hurt himself or others, but still letting him dot. But the ended up being very good at it. And they both end up helping each other heal. Harry with getting Sammy stable mentally and recovering from the damage of being trapped in the studio for so long, and Sammy getting to be more comfortable with himself and with actually having family that cared about him.

Poe: Aww,,

Lili: :')

Rosie: And the Salty Ink Man ends up becoming an honorary Goblin

Poe: I love recovery stories so much okay This is my j a m

Lili: Recovery stories are great

Poe: Like my favorite part about angst and trauma is the recovery it's so good

Rosie: He finds out about the people profiting from the disaster that befell the Potter family, and his nephew. He gets them to put up libel fines for that Boy-Who-Lived crap, and fines for anyone that had taken stuff from the Godric Hollow house after it had fallen. (You *know* there were souvenir hunters that broke in for stuff) Harry is shocked that there are laws about that kind of stuff and why no one told him about them before.

Mango: i love the entire uncle sammy arc

Rosie: I think this would have started before Harry's third year of school. It's the only one I can think of where Harry could have had the time for the test and to gather the stuff for going overseas. I'm gonna say the stuff that leads to Harry going to Diagon happened earlier, so he had more time decided to to go the states instead of waiting until the end of the next school year. Since he did that, he ends up staying in the states of the first half of his third year. So ho doesn't know about Sirius be connected to the Potters until Sammy tries to get a look at the wills of Harry's parents, finds out they were sealed, and that Harry's Godfather had never gotten a trial.

Mango: tRIAL FOR SIRIUS, WOO HOO  i just really like sirius, doggone it

Rosie: Abso-freaking-lutely!

Mango: how well would sammy and sirius get along?

Rosie: And Dumbledore getting himself into trouble. Yes, once they got over the initial bumps in the road.

Mango: now i want sammy in prophet mode to call sirius a sheepdog

Rosie: Sammy would be mad at him for putting his need for revenge over his responsibility to care for Harry in his best friend's place.

Mango: rip

Rosie: But he feels like the 12 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit are enough of a punishment. So now he just has to *make it up* to Harry.

Mango: wait, who thinks that, sammy?

Rosie: Sammy thinks that about Sirius.

Mango: ah, okay "i suffered for over tHiRty YeArS in that damned studio before Harry came looking for me"

Rosie: As for Dumbledore, he's in a lot of hot water for sealing the will of an old pure-blood family,  and claiming it was to keep Harry's location a secret. And unintentionally blocking the path of justice while he was at it.

Mango: ffs dumbles

Rosie: What was the rest of Sammy's sentence? Was there more after what you wrote?

Mango: i just don't like periods but i was thinking that he’d say something like, "so don’t even SPEAK to me about imprisonment"

Rosie: Oh, it just sounded like he was going to say more. (Well, I don't think Dumbledore was a witness for the will, so he wouldn't have known what was in it. But with his firm belief in second chances, he could have thought that Petunia would have been listed as a safe person for Harry to be left with. I don't like a purely evil Dumbledore, I like him as a misguided person better)

Mango: that makes sense he still gets in trouble tho sammy and sirius head that train

Rosie: "Don't talk to me about imprisonment with me, just work to *make up* for not being there."

Mango: and then sirius DOES

Rosie: Yes.

Mango: and the prankster dad and the salty drama dad become friends

Lili: YES

Rosie: YES

Lili: ALL OF THIS

Rosie: Sirius also gets a good look at angry Prophet Sammy at some point, probably when the Minister ends up sticking his foot in his mouth.

Mango: hoo boy that’s gotta be scary

Poe: Ooo

Rosie: He also sees how well Harry is handling at handling his schizophrenic Uncle's episodes.

Mango: they're all one big happy family :D

Rosie: Yes, flawed families do the best job of filling in each other's gaps.

Mango: i want henry there too but i like henry too much

Rosie: At some point, Harry is dragged back to England because that's where his school is. But Sammy comes with him since they just *can't* leave him unattended. And I mean Sammy. Henry could be there. He and Harry could arrive at the same time.

Mango: :D

Rosie: Henry let's Harry come with him instead of letting the kid wander off on his own.

Mango: yesssss

Rosie: They get separated in the music department which is when Sammy tries to catch Harry, only to find out he was a great uncle and had never known.

Mango: henry finds harry again

Rosie: With Uncle Sam! And Hen is shocked by the state Sammy is in.

Mango: Sammy kind of guards harry from hen, almost not recognizing him

Rosie: And Harry is caught between wanting to tell them help would be coming for them and trying to keep magic a secret. He has to explain that Henry is a friend and not someone he needs to be protected from.

Mango: plot twist: henry's a small time wandmaker and knows about magic

Rosie: (To be honest, I like focusing on the Sammy-Harry relationship better)

Mango: (that’s fine, it’s your au. i just have a weird fixation)

Rosie: (is fine. I can understand it) Second half of Third year is Harry and Sammy continuing to fill in personal holes, fix legal stuff, and get used to their very weird lives. Oh, and Harry is working to catch up with all his missed work in school. He was spending his time in the states filling in the gaps in his general magical knowledge. And he's missing a *lot* of "common" knowledge. He never knew how much he didn't know until people were trying to talk to him about it. (Also, mango,  if you want to talk about how Hen would fit in, I don't mind. But I'll be focusing on Sammy shaking things up in the magical world.)

Mango: (maybe later, i don’t really have any ideas atm)

Rosie: I think that Harry ends up with a house (or something) in/near Hogsmead, so that Sammy won't be in the Castle as often as he would be if they were actually staying in the castle. Cause, you know, he's a schizophrenic with homicidal/volatile/violent tendencies Or at least somewhere close enough that Harry could hop on the train to get to school. Since there's no way that train *only* goes to Hogwarts and King's Cross.

Mango: no way in hell

Rosie: Harry kind of likes the new schedule, since he now sits in a small breakfast with his small family, then goes to the station to ride to school, has his school day (with lunch there), rides home, and has dinner with his family. Rinse and repeat. He doesn't have to deal with the fame games and student issues 24/7 anymore. And he loves it.

Poe: Aww How is his relationship with his classmates?

Rosie: I think the place they're all staying in is an old Potter family house, that was in a town that had a Hogwarts Express station. But it didn't see a lot of traffic since so few magicals lived near there. It was getting used again since Harry had sent a request for them to stop there for him to get too and from School. This is also re-implanting the idea of using the express for more than just getting to and from school during the holidays.  More students are taking weekend trips on the train to find out where else it goes. People organize train trips to plot out the routes the train travels (they had never thought about it before) Other parents meet ink man Sammy, and while weirded out by his appearance, they approve of his ideas about the school and caring for a magical kid. And dealing with magic in general.

Mango: imagine sammy becoming more famous than lockhart sAMMY WRITING A PARENTING BOOK FOR MAGICALS

Rosie: Sammy, though salty, is actually pretty likable and has lots of good ideas that magical parents like and muggle parents agree with. Yes. Henry is the co-author.

Mango: yesss i think sammy would hate snape tbh

Rosie: Sammy; "They need proper music and arts programs, how do you expect children to learn about those things if you don't teach them?" MugParent; "Exactly! How can they learn about what interests them if you don't expose them to it?" Oh heck yeah. Sammy may be salty, but Snape is just plain *cruel* to his students.

Mango: sammy goes full prophet on his ass

Rosie: Snape would do better dealing with older students who *honestly interested* in the subject than kids who are only there because it was required.

Mango: oh definitely

Rosie: Harry has to jump on his Uncle to keep the Prophet from stabbing Snape with an ingredient knife.

Mango: o o f

Rosie: After Snape was taking pot shots at Harry and Neville.

Mango: Understandable

Rosie: It was a protective rage. From that point on everyone works to keep Sammy and Snape separated.  Later on, Sammy makes the statement about Snape not being fit for teaching younger students when Harry tells him more about the man. And he makes it to someone on the Board of Governors.

Mango: oh damn.

Rosie: They agree with him.

Mango: that’s impressive

Rosie: He didn't know the person he was part of the Board. He was just making conversation with someone during a parent weekend.

Mango: ah now i’m just imagining him rant to like 20 different people at different times about snape

Rosie: Of course! He's too salty to keep to himself.

Mango: he’s also ranting about how hogwarts needs an arts and music course

Rosie: Yes. Harry's friends are unsure of ink Uncle.

Mango: sammy is good at ranting

Rosie: Hermione is horrified that Harry would skip out on half a school year to find a relative he'd never met, but Sammy talking about improving the school is lifting her opinion. Ron is amazed by the adventure Harry went on without meaning to, but Sammy scares him a bit.

Poe: This is so beautiful

Mango: ikr

Rosie: I wonder how Mr. Weasley would react to Sammy? Mrs. Weasley would probably not be happy about Harry living with him. She wouldn't think he was a good guardian because of his mental health issues.

Mango: coughablistcough

Rosie: I was working from the idea that she didn't think Sammy made a good guardian because Harry kept having to care for *him* instead of the other way around. Parents were supposed to be caring for their kids, not the other way around.  And, you know, she's stifling and kind-of controlling for anyone she thinks of as one of "Her" kids. (I think the reason her oldest sons all picked up jobs that took them away from home was so they could escape her coddling.) But Harry is more capable than she's giving him credit for, and even when being crazy it's clear he cares about Harry.  And Sammy doesn't treat Harry like he isn't able to tie his own shoes without help. Also, should there be actual toons in this AU? Or should they all be people that were used/altered by Joey?

Mango: i want to say actual toons

Rosie: It's a bit of a coin toss for me. Hence why I'm asking. Actual toons would be interesting and leaves room for recreating an alternate/new studio, but then I'd have to take time to explain how they could exist. With the people as toons, I can use stuff about Transfiguration how it was possible.

Mango: i vote option 2 then

Rosie: But the possibilities for both are fun too. *I need more than one person voting on this!*

Poe: I go with transfigured people because it functions better in the story and considering the magical world's problems with recognizing anything but wizards and witches as capable beings with rights unless you want to deal with that

Rosie: Okay, thank you. That is good reasoning. They will be transfigured people, and all receiving medical help thanks to Harry and Henry. Now I need to figure who's who in this. "Monster" Characters are: 'Bendy', The Prophet, Boris, Alice, Charley, Barley, Edgar, and the Projectionist.  Which Alice theory should I use? Alice = Susie, Alice = Allison, or Alice = Susie Mixed with Allison? And which characters should be the Butchers? (Boris is gonna be Wally, I think. Though it might be fun to use Shawn!Boris...) Bah, I’ll focus more on that later.  Harry asks to shuffle around his electives. Because now he's more interested in Curse Breaking and Healing magic than just getting easy grades.  Divination is dropped for Arithmancy, Care is kept (because Hagrid is the teacher and he wants to support him) and he adds Ancient Runes as a subject. Henry shares that the best way to show how well you understand something is to try and explain it to someone else. So when Harry gets home he explains what he's learned to Sammy (if he's okay), or Boris. (Harry also got tutors from the Goblins while he was in the states, so he's not that far behind in Testing levels.) (The Goblins don't mention that it's the *international* testing levels.) (Harry is confused when he finds he's *ahead* of his classmates when he gets back to Hogwarts) (Sammy is even more offended by the school standards then)

Poe: Aww Cute thiings

Rosie: Should the people from the studio be able to see the Thestrals, or no? Also, since Joey is 'Bendy', should he be salvageable? Or is he gonna be 6ft under?  You know, the more I think about it, the worse I realize the Hogwarts curriculum was. There were no math classes, no language classes, no writing classes, no art classes. Most parents would be frothing at the mouth over how unprepared those kids would be once they got out into the world. *I see so much Sammy Rage in the future of this AU.*

Mango: ***It shall be glorious**

Rosie: ***And we haven't even gotten to the chaos of fourth year yet.** ***Sammy is gonna hecking KILL the Minister if he gets his hands on him.**

Mango: HOO BOY

Rosie: Well, can you blame him?  Fudge has shot himself in the foot more times than I dare to count.

Teir: If I can voice my opinion, I think Joey should be salvaged :P. I don't really have a justification, just that he's an interesting character to have around

Poe: I think having him discover functional magic could be interesting,

Rosie: That could work.

Trash Ma: Mom says actual toons

Rosie: So that's 2 for People changed into Toons, and 1 for Actual Toons.

[captainshyguy]

listen the one things super paper mario failed on was giving the other pixls screentime, distinct personalities and like....actually addressing that they all knew each other back in the pixl war (minus tippi and tiptron ofc) so im fixing that lmao 

here’s the personalities i see them having, some is based on canon (the first interaction with them, and what tippi says when you tattle them), some isnt!!! i have more on some pixls but hey

this is long so here’s a cut

thoreau:

bit of a fancy pants

not afraid to get right in with battling though 

a little obnoxious

practical, a little impatient (”details do bore me!”) 

probably likes classical music

think ludwig von koopa if he was good, thats the kinda characterisation i imagine 

boomer:

REALLY likes loud noises and explosions

a bit excitable 

imaginative, curious (”does anyone give presents TO santa claus?”) 

best buds with slim (bit of a mischievous duo there) 

is a bit more rational than slim though

stims a lot 

slim:

not the brightest 

incredibly loyal

reckless, bit of a thrillseeker

no concept of personal space 

loves the sun/light

his hearts in the right place but...he doesnt know when to stop pushing someone, this leads to arguments, especially with dashell, barry and thoreau

thudley:

second oldest

workaholic

generally serious 

gives everything girth points though, sometimes out loud, sometimes not (”wow look at that mug.....50 girth points” then there’s just carrie in the background like “oh my god”) 

perceptive 

team dad kinda vibe

carrie:

is the best pixl and she knows it 

has a really unfeminine but VERY INFECTIOUS laugh (lotta snorting it’s great) and it’s paired with a cheeky/naughty sense of humour

very diplomatic and smart

a little brash/brazen 

loves to fly

thinks bowser is fucking hilarious 

fleep: 

like thoreau, a bit of a fancy pants 

more soft spoken though 

loves to sing!

incredible patient (dude waited in a bathroom for 100 years for toilet paper im?) 

because of that i feel he’s a little anxious asdfg 

good at finding lost things 

cudge: 

resident social butterfly and chatterbox

loves to talk AND listen (can be a little loud sometimes)

pretty close to all of them because of this

likes reading, would write if he had hands 

most emotionally perceptive of the group 

affectionate, generally a huge sweetheart 

dottie:

oldest, essentially reluctant team mum  

loves nature/the weather

a little apathetic from watching a lotta pixls die in the war 

very calm, likes meditating 

cudge may be a good listener but she objectively gives the best advice 

would drink coffee if she could pick up a mug lmao 

barry:

cynical

easily embarrassed

good at scouting areas/spotting enemy weaknesses  

1st member of the resting bitchface squad lmao 

his motto is probably ‘shit happens’ 

i wouldnt say he’s necessarily a coward but he certainly wont jump into fights he dont think he can win

he’s....pretty volatile with everyone except dashell for very sympathetic reasons (other pixls kinda remind him of everythin he’s lost)

dashell:

2nd member of the resting bitchface squad asdfgh

skittish

probably one of the smartest 

not usually competitive but EASILY provoked (usually by slim) 

talks strategy with barry a lot 

fitness nut (shares this trait with thudley) 

piccolo:

youngest

very passionate and dedicated 

naturally, loves music!! 

was a little self conscious because she thought she had no combat abilities, but comes into her own, hidden potential! 

loves information and learning 

was best friends with the pixl who gave their life back in the war, still misses them

also here’s some extra stuff

thoreau, fleep and piccolo all love music in some way, and get along very well (they definitely form a band/group)

slim likes to provoke dashell into races, dashell naturally wins everytime 

boomer has tried to stop slim from doing this in the past (dude you’re not gonna win??) but now he just watches bc it’s funny and he knows he cant stop him

dottie and thudley hang out a lot because dottie likes people who dont talk too much, it’s calming (mario is her favourite hero because of this) 

pair cudge’s love to talk and carries’ love to laugh and you have a VERY LOUD DUO (he tells her stupid stories, she knows half of them are fake but they’re funny as shit, she doesnt care) 

cudge is a little....loud for some of the pixls (dottie, barry, thudley, etc) but he has a good heart so they dont mind 

thudley works out with dashell sometimes 

barry rarely smiles, only dashell and dottie have seen him do so 

boomer cudge and slim have an ongoing contest to see which one can make him smile first 

thoreau is INCREDIBLY SMUG when he’s the next one to achieve it 

alternatively, boomer is the only one who’s seen slim sad 

thoreau’s favourite hero is peach because she’s well spoken and badass and their skills work well together!

cudge and thudley are the only ones who remember life before being a pixl, (cudge remembers bts and pieces, and is learning more everyday, thudley remembers everything) they’ve had a few somber talks about this 

they all take tippi in (piccolo especially) and they tell her about their past adventures, they’re sad when they have to say goodbye

dottie organises mandatory meditation sessions every week bc some of them really need to chill 

fleep likes luigi the best and they speak in italian a lot with each other! 

i mentioned barry is volatile and tbh its bc he’s incredibly bitter about the ancients taking his soul from the overthere, leaving him with no memories of his past life, and being used as a ‘tool’, dealing with the war then told to wait for the heroes for 1500 years so tbh he’s incredibly justified (like they’re all dealing with it, but he’s the one struggling with the trauma the most, like it doesnt....excuse him from snapping at the others, but its understandable ya feel) 

[iphoenixrising]

Window Seat

My soulmate @satire-please deserves all the love, so a bit more little Timmy with the Bats from here.

 **

The house is always quiet. Even when his mom and dad were home or Mrs. Mac was in the kitchen when he got home from school, the upstairs is always silent, like the museums where his parents donate what they find on digs. He thinks it’s always been like that.

No one ever goes to the upstairs attic, though. The dust is thick and settled, its’ own niche in Drake Manor. There’s one window to look out the back yard and off into the sea (and if you looked really, really hard, you could almost see Wayne Manor up on the bluffs, a dark silhouette in the dawn). The nights he didn’t go out into Gotham with his camera, he usually wound up here, squeezed into the non-existent seat to watch for the headlights of the large, black car that was unmistakable even in full dark.

And tonight, a few days after Robin saved him from a bad fall, and the extraordinary turn of events that put him in their direct path rather than an outsider that just knew their secret, he’s still waiting. At the time, he grudgingly turned over the box of photographs when Robin (Jason) and Nightwing (Dick) brought him home. They were working a hard case and would be gone for a few days, so he did what he was probably expected to do: promised to go to school and stay out of trouble.

He hasn’t gone out into Gotham, and hasn’t heard or bothered them since.  Which…is okay. It’s not a problem for him. He’s used to these kinds of things. Promises from grownups that never come to fruition. Coming home for his birthday. Taking him with them during Christmas break. Being there for the Science Fair.

Sometimes expectations fail. Sometimes you need another plan. Sometimes other things have to take precedent. All the real world truths.

So, it’s really okay. He gets it.

The vigilantes didn’t expect a kid to figure them out, not when they’ve got the whole world fooled. It makes sense they would want to give him something to look forward to, a “reward” for keeping quiet about their secret identities. (And it isn’t like he doesn’t realize how dangerous it is to know, how many of Batman’s enemies would come looking for him just to get the secret, how dangerous he is to them now just because he was too smart for his own good. He’s…he’s a liability.)

By the second night with no word, he’s convinced himself the whole thing is going to amount to checking in on him quarterly to make sure he keeps out of trouble, doesn’t call any attention to himself or them. It’s the adult thing to do. So, he’s going to give it a few weeks, wait until they’ve all but forgotten, and go back to his old haunts. He’ll have to be more careful they don’t catch him so he can’t slip up and accidentally almost kill himself again.

It’ll be fine. He’s got darker clothes to stay closer to the shadows and has been tinkering around with a shooting grapple gun like Robin used. He thinks he might have figured it out, but testing is really going to be the problem.

And…and it is fine (it’s disappointing but inevitable). They didn’t need some kid hanging around when they had criminals to stop and a city to save.

He’s sleepily convinced himself it was all for the best, he already had the one chance to live the life and shouldn’t be too greedy because the reality is nothing but trouble could come from stepping into their world. He could get hurt or die, he could get them hurt if he got caught and they had to come save him. Or they would finally get tired of dealing with him, his endless questions and terrible hand/eye coordination, his fanboy awe and clumsy stumbles, the odd moments when he can fit in the most awkward spaces to hide (like right now).

Eventually…it be the same as with his mom and dad. They’d just start leaving.

Tim sighs and forces himself to be reasonable because of course it’s better this way. Nothing would change (it’s okay, it could be worse). Besides, it was better than never coming back.

Right?

When the rumbling goes by the house, goes further, deeper into the woods, toward the only other home, he can let his eyes slide closed, glad they made it back from another night, and let himself drift off a little. No school tomorrow, no Mrs. Mac, no reason to get up early and make an appearance.

He’d probably read more on the coding manual he’d picked up from the library, ride his bike into the city for pizza and to hang out with Ives, then come back home before his curfew. He would wait it out a few weeks and then jump back to old habits, keeping out of their way, and staying in the shadows. Life would just—

Go on.

The world gets fuzzy and soft and dark, and even with the minor ache in his neck and back from the odd angle, even in the quiet upstairs, even though he knows it’s too cold to be sleeping up here, the dream starts out anyway…

“—glad we found him, Big Wing.” That’s…that’s Jason, isn’t it? (Jason, here? Nah)

“I wonder how long he’s been up here all alone?”

(It has to be a dream because they came looking for him…)

“Musta been a while. He’s freezin’.” The dream hand is warm on his forehead, so nice, not enough to make him want to come to reality, so he just snuffles against his arm and hums, not trying to swim to the surface of awake, not yet.

“Okay, okay. Not leaving Timmy by himself at night anymore. Check.” Dick sighs, his breath a puff in the cold, and cranes his neck to eye the configuration the kid squeezed through to get to the wide window ledge.

“B’s gonna talk ta his folks when they make it back ta town anyhow.” And Jason shakes his head, burrowing a little deeper in his jacket with bare face (doms keep the eyes warm, you feel him?). “Kid his age shouldn’t be left alone anyhow.”

“Nope, just circus brats and street kids, right Little Wing?” Dick glances over at his replacement with a wide grin (and if B is serious about keeping Timmy now that the business with Two-Face is over, he’s going to have to come around more to help corral two younger brothers).

“Yeah, some a’ us can take care of business, Dick. This kid? He don’t need ta be in a house alone like this. Ain’t right.” The current Robin just frowns at the small silhouette, eyebrows drawing together.

“Alfred has his room ready, so at least he’ll have somewhere warm with a window. How did he even get in there?” And Dick? Is an acrobat and this configuration is making him flinch.

But Jay just smirks back, “Wiry little shit, apparently. Already fittin’ in.”

“Apparently. Let’s get him out of there, shall we Robin?”

And he huffs drowsily, swimming in and out of consciousness, the lack of sleep in the last few days making him sink further down where the voices are muffled, muted.

He might make some grunting sound when dream hands lift his heavy limbs, weightlessness like this a foreign concept, but it’s not like dreams where you step down abruptly and jar awake. It’s warm and smells like leather, Kevlar, and musk. And his brain gives him what he wants in the dream, soft cotton to fist his hands into without having to do anything more than sigh.

“Poor little guy is tuckered out. We shouldn’t have left him so long. It doesn’t look like he’s been sleeping.”

The transition is down, steps, his blurry mind supplies.

“He chases us through Gotham, yeah? Sleep probably ain’t even in his vocabulary.”

“He’s so small, Little Wing. He needs to sleep.”

“He needs goddamned parents, Dickie.”

“It’s okay,” is breathed against his hair, “he has us now.”

“Sure, sure. Lotta grown ass men what dress up in tights n’ masks. Normal as they come.”

“Hey! It’s not a bad life, you know. I turned out just fine, thank-you very much.”

A grunt in reply and something warm tucked around him before the air shifts and it’s cold, making his small body tighten again, start to swim a little closer to consciousness. But he’s snuggled higher, closer to strength and warmth.

(All the good things)

“Ah. I see you two have managed to ferret out the missing Master then?”

“Shoulda seen ‘im, Alf. Alla way up in the attic window.”

“You have a similar propensity for small spaces, Master Jason. Master Dick as well if memory serves. Very high, small spaces to be precise.”

“Not my fault there’s so many in the Manor, Alfred. Those are the perfect places to explore.”

“Hm,” the car doors close as Alfred Pennyworth shuts his young charges in (three now, not including you, Master Bruce. He is not getting any younger, you understand?) and moves to the driver’s side through the chill.

Master Jason and Master Dick continue a quiet conversation while the child sleeps on and the dark forests pass them by. Alfred inputs when necessary with the usual plans on the next few nights of patrol ahead of them sans the Batman, and it does the butler’s heart good to see them finally getting along. Just as he told the worrywart that is his eldest charge, the two needed time to find their own way. Time and exposure, more appropriately.

As Alfred is well aware, the life his family leads, one of the night, one of pain and bruises and burns, one of trauma after trauma with only the strength of will and people in need to drive them, it required a certain amount of humanity to maintain. The strength of their bonds, to lean on one another in times of need, had been the hardest lesson for Master Bruce to learn as the Batman,, and one he would daresay he failed to pass it down to his sons. Fortunately, when a certain little robin that lost something so precious so young, the lesson for Master Bruce had begun and would continue for a second so in need, he would take on any fight just to survive, and would, of course, extend to the small one they are carrying up the staircase of Wayne Manor as he sleeps the sleep of the innocent.

Alfred and Master Dick take his shoes off and manage pajama bottoms, tucking the little boy in with care.

Only once did he wake up slightly, blinking fuzzily without move his heavy head from the pillow.

“This is such a nice dream, Mr. Alfred.”

A gentle hand to his head, smoothing down his too long hair, “go back to sleep, Young Sir. We shall be here when you wake in the morning.”

And Timmy hums again, smiling, snuggling down into the comfortable mattress and pillow. He’s fine sleeping until morning, to keep the dream for as long as he can (and maybe….maybe it would be okay to just not have to wake up).

[uclaradio]

UCLA Radio’s Best of 2017 - Music and Genre Directors

This year, UCLA Radio’s music director and genre directors compiled a list of their favorite releases this past year. Take a peek and explore some of our favorite albums of this past year. 

Alison Chi - Music Director

1. SZA - Ctrl

I don’t know a single person who doesn’t like SZA’s sophomore album Ctrl. There are so few albums that can capture people’s attention these days - it’s all about the singles and never the album as a whole but something about Ctrl is cohesive from start to finish. The way each song weaves into each other is seamless and you’ll truly be rewarded if you sit down and listen to the album straight through. Is there even a single bad song on this album? 

2. Giraffage - Too Real 3. Slowdive - Slowdive 4. Turnover - Good Nature 5. Land of Talk - Life After Youth 6. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 7. Julien Baker - Turn Out the Lights 8. Valerie June - The Order of Time 9. Slow Dancer - In A Mood 10. Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked at Me

Megan Hullander - Rock Genre Director

1. King Gizzard & The Flying Wizard - Flying Microtonal Banana

King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s Flying Microtonal Banana was the first in a series of five albums promised to be released in 2017 (one of which has still yet to come) including a concept album ridden with the drama of human and non-human emotions, a jazzy collaboration with Mild High Club, and an album given as a gift to fans - the rights of which are “owned” by all. Flying Microtonal Banana is unique in that the band customized their instruments in effort to find spaces between existing tones, or “microtones.” The album is named for one of these instruments which does, in fact, look quite similar to a banana. 

2. Thee Oh Sees - Orc 3. The Brian Jonestown Massacre - Open Minds Now Close 4. Alex Cameron - Forced Witness 5. Ron Gallo - Temporary Slave 6. Ariel Pink - Dedicated to Bobby Jameson 7. Ty Segall - Sentimental Goblin 8. ORB - Naturality 9. Kikagaku Moyo - Stone Garden 10. Courtney Barnett & Kurt Vile - Lotta Sea Lice

Gabe Cortina - Rock Genre Director

1. Limp Wrist - Facades

Featuring Martin from Los Crudos on vocals as well as members of Hail Mary, Devoid of Faith, By the Throat, and Kill the Man Who Questions, the versatility of Limp Wrist sound has never been more apparent. Identifying as queercore, the band has a fast hardcore sound and lyrical themes concerning gay identity politics. The mixing of album is something which also stood out to me, it’s able to polished without sounding over produced. Martin’s vocal style perfectly matches the killer riffs and speedy drums in both intensity and aggression. Halfway through this album, the band’s sound switches to a disco-ey almost dark-wave- techno sound which they pull of with perfection. This album is solid and I highly recommend it to both longtime fans of punk and people who are looking for an introduction to punk music alike.

2. Despise You / Coke Bust - Split LP 3. Gay Kiss - Rounded Down 4. Exit Unit - St 2017 5. Glue - S/T MLP 6. Lumpy and the Dumpers - Those Pickled Fuckers 7. Goolagoon / ACxDC - Split 8. Burnout - West Coast Tour 2017 CS 9. Sex Prisoner / Harm Done - Split 10. Meth Leppard - Discography 2015-2017

Gabe Punk Genre Director Top 10 Albums of 2017 from anon-10212970514769336 on 8tracks Radio

Alana Enriquez - Pop Genre Director

1. Beach House - B-Sides and Rarities

This compilation happened to be release on a day where I had only gotten around an hour of sleep the night before, and I cried within one minute of the first track. It’s Beach House at their most dreamy, their most blaring, their most haunting. Old tracks with new renditions and fresh ones meld into something spellbinding that doesn’t require the logistical unity of a formal album. B-Sides and Rarities has been on a weekly rotation for me for the entire second half of 2017, and probably for the entirety of 2018, unless they release something else for me to cry to during my morning routine. 

2. Florist - If Blue Could Be Happiness 3. High Bloom - Implied Sun 4. Alvvays - Antisocialites 5. The Drums - Abysmal Thoughts 6. Slowdive - Slowdive 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. You’ll Never Get to Heaven - Images 9. Pedro Infante - Cien años... pensando en ti 10. Big Thief - Capacity

Alana Myers - Pop Genre Director

1. Wolf Alice - Visions Of A Life

Looking back at this past September, I remember sitting in my apartment late at night, counting down until midnight when Wolf Alice’s second record Visions of a Life would be released. I haven’t ever heard anything quite like Visions of a Life before, and I think the reason it resonates so much with me is the way it perfectly encompasses the feelings that come with the uncertainty of young adulthood, and the feelings of life in general - love, anger, sadness, extreme joy, and everything in between. The album digs itself into darkness, but at its core, lies a piece of work that is ambitious, honest, and a solid listen from start to finish.

2. MUNA - About U 3. Tei Shi - Crawl Space 4. Declan McKenna - What Do You Think About the Car? 5. Stormzy - Gang Signs & Prayer 6. Will Joseph Cook - Sweet Dreamer 7. HAIM - Something to Tell You 8. Lorde - Melodrama 9. Paramore - After Laughter 10. Circa Waves - Different Creatures

Alex Saakyan - Pop Genre Director

1. Lana Del Rey - Lust For Life

With an album cover that graces a smile, cheek to cheek of Lana Del Rey, it is no surprise as to why this record has been nicknamed as Del Rey’s first ‘happy album.’ Retiring from the ‘sad girl’ aesthetic of her previous records, Del Rey delivers an optimistic and authentic approach to her music. With tracks like ‘When the World Was at War’ and ‘God Bless America’ we see Del Rey take a more honest approach from her Americana aesthetic as she speaks of the hard times people in this country face. With tracks like ‘Get Free’ she delivers her mission statement: “Finally, I’m crossing the threshold/From the ordinary world/To the reveal of my heart,” She’s honest, she’s free, with a much optimism and a lust for life. 

2. Kendrick Lamar - DAMN. 3. Lorde - Melodrama 4. Kelela - Take Me Apart 5. Majid Jordan - The Space Between 6. Harry Styles - Harry Styles 7. Calvin Harris - Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 8. Tyler, the Creator - Flower Boy 9. Dua Lipa - Blow Your Mind 10. Kesha - Rainbow

Christian Wright - World Genre Director

1. Jay Som - Everybody Works

Melina Duterte’s sophomore album is a bedroom production jewel. Every song, incredibly cohesive as a whole, traverses the beautifully lush sonic worlds her mind seemingly conjures up. That’s not to say the ten tracks that span Everybody Works are simple happenstances that fall together nicely; they definitely sound like labors of love. Rather her voice, certain of itself, transmits to the listener so powerfully, making sense out of all the disorder that comes with self-doubt and personal struggle. “Won’t forget to climb,” she sings on E.W’s. final track, “For Light,” beautifully steering the qualms of trying to make it in this world.

2. Nikolas Escudero - Synthesis 3. Haley Heynderickx - Unpeeled (Live) 4. Fleet Foxes - Crack-Up 5. Bedouine - Beduoine 6. Japanese Breakfast - Soft Sounds from Another Planet 7. Lomelda - Thx 8. Hand Habits - Wildly Idle (Humble Before the void) 9. Kevin Morby - City Music 10. Wednesday Campanella - Superman

Ethan Lee - Jazz Genre Director

1. Nick Hakim - Green Twins

Nick Hakim blurs the line between psychedelic, soul, funk, rock, and jazz with his debut album, Green Twins. With lush melodies to command his songs and a spacey approach to recording production, Hakim creates his own unique sound and challenges the notions and implications of a music genre.  With a brand of sound that emulates Unknown Mortal Orchestra, Hakim's soundscape fills in colorful textures with his diverse instrumentation on top of steady, pulse-like rhythms.  From spacey, reflective post-R&B rock songs like "Bet She Looks Like You" to jazzy, rhythmic pulses in "Miss Chew" and slow, soulful ballads like "Needy Bees," Green Twins has just about everything you need in a debut album from an artist as complex as Nick Hakim.

2. Tyler the Creator - Flower Boy 3. Kamasi Washington - Harmony of Difference 4. Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess 5. Christian Scott aTunde Adjuah - Diaspora 6. Moses Sumney - Aromanticism 7. Steve Lacy - Steve Lacy’s Demo 8. Brockhampton - Saturation II 9. Smino - blkswn 10. Antonio Sanchez - Bad Hombre

Mark Edmonds - Electronic Genre Director

1. Moon Boots - First Landing

First Landing is Moon Boots' debut album. Moon Boots manages a deep overtone with techy-melodies. 'Never Get to You' is a standout track that will light up any dance floor or pool party. 

2. Rezz - Mass Manipulation 3. Oliver - Full Circle 4. Various Artists - Anjunadeep Vol. 9 5. Illenium - Awake 6. Giraffage - Too Real 7. Four Tet - New Energy 8. Odesza - A Moment Apart 9. Cosmic Gate - Materia Chapter.Two 10. Bicep - Bicep

Beliz Urkmez - Electronic Genre Director

1. Lorde - Melodrama

For me, Lorde's music means emotion in its purest, most honest form. Her sophomore album, Melodrama, captures her youth, her growth, her path to becoming a woman of her own and loving herself and all the ephemeral experiences in between. Mastering her craft, Lorde finds a cohesion between her atmospheric synths, harmonies, beats and the bittersweet wisdom in her lyrics. Especially in "Liability," a beautiful piano-ballad where she sings, "I understand, I'm a liability/ Get you wild, make you leave/ I'm a little much for everyone." Lorde is truly one of a kind and Melodrama proves she is one of the best artists today.

2. Gorillaz - Humanz 3. London Grammar - Truth Is a Beautiful Thing 4. HAIM - Something to Tell You 5. Alexandra Savior - Belladonna of Sadness 6. Temples - Volcano 7. Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds - Who Built the Moon? 8. Wolf Alice - Visions of a Life 9. Cigarettes After Sex - Cigarettes After Sex 10. Mura Masa - Mura Masa

Alex Ivanova - Folk/Singer-Songwriter Genre Director

1. Kiran Leonard - Derevaun Seraun

This is probably the most sonically beautiful album I’ve listened to in years. 22-year-old Kiran Leonard blends voice, piano, and string trio into an album with each movement representing a different piece of literature, seeing as the album was written to celebrate the re-opening of Manchester’s Central Library. The album is intensely personal, and raw, as Leonard’s voice is in the spotlight, accompanied by mournful accompaniment. I recommend this album endlessly.

2. The Spirit of the Beehive - pleasure suck 3. Jay Som - Everybody Works 4. Joan of Arc - He’s Got the Whole This Land Is Your Land in His Hands 5. Kindling - Hush 6. Синекдоха Монток - MMXVII (Parts 1 & 2) 7. Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps 8. Sidney Gish - Ed Buys Houses 9. Tagubu & Klimperei - I Don't Remember The First Time  10. Nnamdi Ogbonnaya - DROOL

[franklyshipping]

Not Standard Protocol ~ A Markiplier Ego Fanfic

I feel like there ain’t a lotta love for our blue boi google so imma give him some fluff cuz i feel like he’s a lil underappreciated (plez just roll with, this is just blue boi btw so i guess it’s pre-update) AND HAVE MORE DOC IPLIER CUZ I LOVE HIS SARKY ASS

You may not think that a robotic being in human form and a traditional man in the medical profession would get on, due to how someone like Google exists you might assume that someone like Dr. Iplier would be repelled by him. Oh contraire. Iplier would often request for Google to come down to the surgery when he was on a break because he was ceaselessly in awe of the AI-like being.

Not that Google minded. Google actually enjoyed these visits because he benefitted from the doctor’s intel on the human body and its functions. Despite him having access to the whole internet, he sometimes preferred hearing of Iplier’s experiences and personal knowledge. Google also relished the attention Iplier gave him, not that he’d ever admit it. Today was one of those times.

Google was sat patiently in a, surprisingly comfortable, plastic chair as Iplier sat in his own leather one; eyes glittering with curiosity as always.

‘So there’s something I have been meaning to discuss with you…’

Google rolled his eyes with a light smirk, it always started off the same and he always found Iplier’s childish curiosity amusing.

‘Ask away Doctor.’

He watched patiently as Iplier looked up from his clipboard, lips pursing as they always did when he was unsure.

‘I am curious about your nervous system, you’ve told me before that you can feel pain and are able to ‘feel’ physical things-’

‘Your question being?’

Google interrupted, he smirked a little wider at Iplier’s slight indignation. Iplier leant forward with hands steepled atop his thighs.

‘What does your nervous system consist of? Is it biological matter that’s been implanted or some weird, new technical advancement that I won’t understand?’

Google chuckled lightly, leaning back a little and crossing his legs and arms simultaneously. He grinned widely at Iplier who also had a light smile in place, they both enjoyed these interactions.

‘I myself am unsure, most likely the latter.’

‘Hmm…’

Iplier furrowed his eyebrows, he seemed conflicted with what to say but eventually got to his next query.

‘So…theoretically, you feel all things that regular humans do?’

Google furrowed his own brows, Iplier’s previous confusion had dimmed and his tone had changed. It was smoother, and the man’s eyes had narrowed minimally.

‘Theoretically…yes.’

Google watched the doctor like a hawk as the man rose from his seat and came over to him, there was a glint in his eyes and Google found himself fidgeting in his seat; he was uneasy. However he stayed put even as Iplier stood directly beside him, smirking lightly but for what reason Google had been unable to decipher.

‘So theoretically, with that train of thinking…that could lead to the possibility of you being…’

Google couldn’t stop a strangled, and glitched, yelp flying from him when two hands squeezed at his lower ribs and withdrew speedily. His circuits were working for answers, why would he elicit such a noise? Searches in seconds drew up results in milliseconds, sensitive nerves, his reaction…oh no.

’…ticklish…?’

Google looked up at Iplier who was grinning as he trailed off, and Google now identified the glint in his eyes as a glint of mischievousness; however his identification had come too late. Oh dear. This was not good. Google straightened his posture and went to stand, and he did, but Iplier stood in front him to prevent him from walking anywhere.

‘Doctor I can assure you that there is no logical reason for you to do what you are thinking of doing.’

The medical man raised an eyebrow as Google spoke smoothly…mostly, for a few cracks found their way to his voice. Iplier’s grin widened.

'Who said anything about logic?’

Iplier’s hands latched onto his ribs once again and wiggled quickly, Google’s eyes widened and he let out a choked gasp before a stream of chuckling followed in its wake. He began to twist his body about.

'Th-ehere ihihis no p-pohoint toho thihihihis!!’

Google was angered at the pitiful tone of his voice as he tried to squirm away away from Iplier’s eager fingers, which were deftly squeezing at the former’s ribs and sides. Iplier’s eyes were alight with curiosity as well as mischief.

'Oh I beheg to differ! This is remarkable, I need to investigate this furthur…’

'Nohohohohoho!!!’

Iplier, to Google’s dismay, ignored his pleading and wrapped his arms round the droid so he could probe his stomach. Google snorted but only giggled at this particular spot, he still squirmed in earnest and was bent double to escape the sensations. Google could feel him losing the slight control of his limbs since his focus was…occupied elsewhere. As you can imagine.

'You seem a bit fidgety there G, you ok-’

'Fahahahaked ihihinsolehehence ihihis unnecehehehessary!!’

Iplier failed to fight back a gleeful grin at the droid’s demeanour, and was taken aback when said droid’s knees buckled causing them both to fall gently to the laminate floor. However, Iplier was quick and decided to take advantage by sitting atop Google’s thighs, the owner of which was lying face down on the floor. Google wondered how he ever came to this, no results came up.

'Here I am trying to ask after your well-being and you just disregard my kindness! That wasn’t very nice!’

The good doctor decided to knead Google’s sides carefully with both hands, making Google buck and cackle. Iplier tweaked and basically tortured the sensitive synthetic flesh.

'Dehehehehesihihihihist thihihihihihis stuhuhuhupihihihidihihity!!!’

Iplier smirked with raised eyebrows as he dug in harder, wiggling and digging making his victim yelp and shake, all control of his own limbs lost because of his diminished focus; he was utterly helpless.

'I don’t think someone as sensitive as you is in a position to make demands.’

Iplier cackled when a deep growl of frustration worked it’s way from Google’s throat.

'Shuhuhuhut uhuhuhup yohou lihihihittl-AHAHAHA NOHOHOHO!!!’

Iplier had taken a chance had absently run a finger down Google’s spine, and his reaction was not akin to a spasm at the simple, yet effective touch. The Doctor smirked as he hurriedly spidered all ten finger’s over the ticklish site.

'NAHAHAHAHAHAHA IHIHIHIPLIHIHI!!!’

Iplier was in awe at the wildness and volume of the laughter that the, normally stoic droid, elicited. His voice cracked amidst yelps and squeals and he banged his fists against the floor. His body shook with the sensations , almost like he was actually being electrocuted; throughout this, Iplier was of course being gracious and sympathetic.

’-kind of makes sense when you think about it, the spine being the primary part of the CNS, and with your construction adhering to that-’

'STAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!’

Google’s screams cut him off as Iplier scratched over and between his shoulder blades as well as administering scribbles to the droid’s scrunching neck; the owner of which could only shake, and let his voice take centre stage.

'PLEHEHEHEHEHEHEehehehease…’

Google’s screams echoed and diminished to a deep, hoarse stream of giggling as Iplier went back to pinching his ribs; in all honesty, he felt slightly guilty. Google’s glasses were askew and partially on the floor as the owner tried to maintain his oxygen levels and mental capacity.

'Dohohohoctohohor plehehehease…’

Google mumbled, embarrassed…more embarrassed than he’d ever been, mainly because he’d never been embarrassed before. Iplier saw this, and took a moment to relish in it before withdrawing his torturous fingertips and then himself. He sat on the floor, observing the droid as he sat up.

Google straightened his glasses and rubbed his t-shirt to force away the wrinkles, and remaining ghostly tingles. He did it wordlessly and stoically, Iplier was a little worried that he’d taken it too far, and didn’t bother hiding it.

'G…I uh, I’m sorry-’

'It’s quite alright doctor.’

Google interrupted as he cleared his throat, there was a moment of silence as the droid recovered and ran the experience over in his mental cortex. He looked at Iplier, and could see the guilt in the man’s face…and felt an urge in response. Google, still on the floor, shuffled towards Iplier and placed a hand on his shoulder. It was tentative, since Google was not well accustomed with the concept of comfort.

'It is fine, it was for experimental purposes…’

Iplier grinned lightly, with a hint of bashful mischief as he rubbed the back of his neck.

'Well…’

Google narrowed his eyes, he tried to fix a somewhat annoyed expression but found himself unable to. He stood and held a hand out to Iplier who took it and let himself be pulled up, he smoothed down his creased white coat. Google straightened his posture and fixed Iplier with a hard stare.

'I hope you understand that what has occured in this room does not LEAVE this room…’

Google stepped forward and placed his hand back on the doctor’s shoulder, but his thumb was pressed against Iplier’s collar bone and the grip was…firm. Iplier gulped a little at the hard stare and light smile Google wore, his own cheeky expression gone like it had never existed. Contrasting in the most terrifying perfection.

'Yes, n-no of course. Without question.’

Iplier swallowed heavily and sighed when Google clasped his hands behind his back, relieved that the contact had disappeared as Google paced to the doorway. Until he paused, and out of the doctor’s sight grinned with a hint of malevolence.

'Oh and doctor?

He swivelled and looked at Iplier again who was leant on his desk lightly, Google’s eyes shone with a light burst of mischief as he spoke.

'If you deviate from this agreement, I may come and perform a medical examination of my own.’

Google relished in Iplier’s widened eyes and light flush, he would never admit the satisfaction he felt making people react thus.

'And rest assured…I will be most thorough. Till the next time Doctor.’

He bowed his head before stealing from the room, a grin in place and a light of triumph and intense pride in his eyes, gleeful that despite the events…he’d maintained the upper hand. Iplier however, was scowling lightly and cursing his weakness and embarrassment. That scowl soon morphed into a sneer of determination as he flicked his eyes to the corner of the ceiling, where a mandatory security camera was sitting. Patiently. Iplier smirked, his next actions were clear as he stood atop a chair and took it down. His eyes glittered as he thought:

'Damn the consequences.’

okay WOWZAH that took me a lil while will there be revenge? hmmmmmnYES I THINK SO but will it only be the two of them? who knows, tell me if ya enjoy and stuff and yup….LUV YOUS xx 😁