#does not mean he would tolerate ur fucking asses for a second get out

[ahalliance]

wishing certain qsmp fans a very Stop Being Fucking Misogynists

[bingoboingobongo]

omg i am in love with your writing ab ghost... would you ever do a fluff ab clingy drunk ghost where he starts off insisting that he can't get drunk and then he just escalates to being all over you ghejirb

alright so honestly i don't see ghost as being the kind of guy to drink enough to get him drunk when he's by himself, but when he's with soap? yeah, completely different story. it's not that he's more comfortable around soap or anything, it's just that he gets a rise out of beating soap in competitions.

here's how i see it. you guys have just completed a long ass mission, weeks of stress and labor are finally over so of course, you guys get drinks to celebrate. now i see soap as the kind of drunk who only wants to get more drunk, so once he's had a few drinks he starts going around trying to challenge everyone else to drinking competitions. pretty much everyone says no because the thing about soap is that he's so competitive he'll drink until he drops dead. you say no bc u don't feel like blacking out and because it's ur turn to be designated driver (lord knows that even sober ghost drives like he's drunk), so soap goes to the only person who 1. is more competitive than him and 2. has a shot at out drinking him: ghost.

now, years of working with soap have enlightened ghost to his usual idiocy, so ghost is quick to shut him down, telling him that he "would be fighting a losing battle."

but tipsy soap is persistent as hell, so he keeps bugging and bugging and bugging him. and at this point, ghost is pretty tired and is just waiting to go home, so to get soap to shut up he agrees. and of course, drinking ensues.

the first few rounds are easy, ghost doesn't even flinch as he downs the drinks like they're water. at this point, soap is starting to get intimidated, so he demands that ghost have a few extra drinks to get them on even ground, considering soap was already tipsy when they started. you and the rest of the team watch with awe (and horror) as ghost swallows down the drinks like they're nothing, and if you're being honest, you're really excited to see how this turns out. i mean, for one, when ghost drinks he flips up the bottom of his balaclava, exposing his chin and his lips. it's always exciting to watch ghost take off his mask, even if it's just part of his face, and secondly, the way he shoots you a glance as he drinks, his eyes dark and enticing, his adam's apple bobbing with each swallow, the smallest drop of lost alcohol that drips down his chin -- which he's quick to wipe away -- it sends a swarm of butterflies into your stomach. plus, you've never actually seen ghost drink this much, usually the most he'll have is a couple of beers or a few glasses of bourbon, so you're curious to see just how much of a tolerance he has.

the answer? a crazy high one. the two are at it for what feels like hours, and there's no clear effect on ghost. meanwhile, soap can barely walk straight and is on the verge of puking at any given moment. at this point everyone is trying to get soap to give up. price tried telling soap that there was no shame in tapping out, and when that failed, he tried threatening soap with extra chores. of course this does nothing, and soap only tells price to "fuck off" because he's not his dad. at one point, gaz tried physically pulling soap away, to which soap promptly tried (and failed) to hit him in the face. even you tried to get soap to stop, although you'll admit you didn't try very hard, like i said, you're very excited to see how this plays out.

after a certain point, soap's pretty much blackout drunk. he's barely hanging on but his pride won't let him let go, much to the annoyance of ghost and the others. and so, in a final finishing move, ghost asks the bartender for a bottle of whiskey, which -- to soap's despair and the rest of the team's horror -- he finishes in seconds.

for a while, everyone is silent, and then soap just busts into tears. he knows it's over, ghost knows it's over, everyone else knows it's over. i mean, you guys just watched ghost down the equivalent of sixteen shots of whiskey like it was nothing. by now, you're starting to wonder if you need to get 911 on speed dial because there's no way ghost doesn't die from alcohol poisoning.

but to your disbelief, ghost's fine. or so you thought. after his defeat of soap, ghost made his way over to your seat for a chat. not that you were complaining, you were curious to see just how incomprehensible ghost's speech would be, but to your surprise he's speaking great. his speech is clear and you suspect the alcohol's loosened him up a little, because he's talking and cracking jokes a lot more. if you're being honest, you really like this new, laid-back ghost who's not so worried about maintaining his stony exterior; this new ghost that's wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you into him, even though he never would have showed that kind of public affection to you in front of the team when he was sober. and it's not that he doesn't like you or he isn't proud of you, it's the complete opposite. he's absolutely bursting with pride that you decided to date him, but he's just always been wary about displaying his love for you in public. after all, you never know what kind of shady people are lurking around in bars, looking for ways to hurt him, or even worse, you.

but when his brain is muddled with alcohol, all that paranoia goes away and ghost is more than happy to be all over you. first it's just one hand around your waist, but then when you get up to order another iced water for soap he's tugging at your shirt and holding your wrists so you can't leave him, and when you tell him that you'll be back in less than a minute, he's standing up and chasing after you and wrapping his arms around you in a hug as you talk to the bartender. he's burying his face in the crook of your neck and telling you it's because all the alcohol is giving him a headache when really he just wants to smell you; he's running his hands up and down your legs when the rest of the team is looking the other direction; he's trying to mouth at your neck through his balaclava and whining when it doesn't work, causing you to grin and roll your eyes at him as you lift his mask just above his lips to help him. he's trying to whisper sweet nothings against your ear but they don't make sense because the way you smell is so intoxicating he feels like he's getting drunk all over again, but this time he's drunk on you.

and after a while, ghost finally passes out. he's essentially laying on top of you, his head resting on your chest as his back rises and falls with every breath. his arms are wrapped around you, essentially caging you into your seat and he's so heavy you need to call price over to help you pull him off so you can drive everyone home. and when you all arrive back at the base, you slowly nudge ghost awake, taking special note at the way his eyes flutter open slowly. and then he immediately closes his eyes again, digging his head into your chest because this time he actually does have a headache, and so it's up to you to bring him to his room. and the entire time he never ever lets go of his bear hug on you, leaving you to have to awkwardly waddle all the way to his room with him essentially draped over you. and then when he falls onto the bed he drags you down with him, and you try to pull away just for a second so you can change and wash your face, but ghost's got an iron grip on you and so you're stuck in his arms, not that you mind.

[slttygeto]

oh my goodness congrats on 900!!!!!!!!! u deserve all of it bc ur writing is godly 😭🙏🙏 i’d love to know ur thoughts on the jjk boys as college heartthrobs/players!

thank you so much pls!!!! you're so nice :((

and omg the way the whole college heartthrob/player thingy fits them so well? i mean satosugu are the perfect example of a college heartthrob tbh but i will go over them one by one.

nsfw warning!!

gojo satoru

do i even have to say anything

he's got the looks, the playful persona and a good way with his words

the only difference between him and geto is that gojo actually does a lot of one night stands. he's also very much okay with the idea of threesomes and sneaking to a room in the middle of a party with someone to makeout or fuck

of course condoms are always present, between him and suguru he's the one who carries them around with him all the time lol (joey moment)

always has a drink in hand

is always next to suguru

literally like a pair of shoes

geto suguru

love of my life

he's the chill one obviously but he's definitely a big flirt too

it's not that people dont pay attention to him but hes definitely more reserved which explains why gojo is more popular in parties

like i said in gojo's part, he doesn't do one night stands

he does them from time to time, probably when he's stressed or is just extremely bored but other than that, he wants a friends with benefits or someone that he knows will be ready to fuck when he goes over to their house

will definitely makeout with someone or go down on them in parties, doesn't ask for much in return. just winks at them and asks them to keep it a secret. their dirty little secret

gojo and geto's charms are both very different.

gojo feels like a disco ball at a party, very bright and likes to make everyone dance and have fun

geto is like that first smoke after a stressful day

toji fushiguro

oh definitely the one who girls beg for his attention even for one second lol

honestly he's definitely into one night stands and i feel like he even almost knocked up a few women here and there because they begged him to cum inside 😭

hes always given off dilf vibes and that's why he attracts the ones with daddy issues wheeeew self call out

toji would be that one guy in the party who's gulping down whisky like it's water and a girl is suddenly on his lap just making out with him cause she thought it was so hot

though i definitely see him as that one dude who cannot tolerate bullshit at a party. if he sees a guy being mildly disturbing to a couple of girls there, he will kick his ass

definitely started a fight before. i said what i said

nanami kento

only shows up to these parties because gojo begged him to come

another guy who's on the lowkey, he does have sex but he's not obsessed with it

no one around college sees him because he's always in the library reading something

he is very much aware of the fact that people swoon over him but he doesn't really get the hype

shouldn't you focus on getting yourself an actual partner instead of going for someone who's not emotionally available? ouch that hurt 😭

oh oh he definitely drinks. the only time he destresses is when he drinks.

he doesn't like hookups but he will definitely fuck your brains out over the sink if he's in the mood

god i love this man so much

[morgana-ren]

SUBMISSION: How about a nasty sweaty incel shiggy waiting everyday for his dad to go to work so that he could have his relief with stepmom? 

Excellent submission! Love that. Love that a lot! I find it only fair to warn you, however, that I won’t be doing mommy kink for it. Mommy kink is one of my squicks, and one of the very, very few I have. I’ll do the closest thing to it though: Daddy kink. Also I find the irony of him making his little stepmom call him daddy to be absolutely hilarious.

Also this one is a great concept and I love it but it’s going to have to be a multi-parter cause it got a little bit long. Lemme know if you like the concept and I’ll continue it. Also this posted under anonymous for some reason so cheers to tumblr and its endless fucking glitches that it never fixes or seems to make any better.

Warnings: Noncon, dubcon, sexism, really gross incel behavior, nsfl things, masturbation, violent sexual fantasies, nefarious planning, horrible suggestions from even more horrible friends, absolute LOATHING of family, and entitled bastard.

There is only one thing on this planet that Tomura hates more than his father.

Only one thing can even compare to the level of abject disgust he has for his dad. Everything about the man is abhorrent and degenerate, only tolerated because Tomura is, admittedly, a NEET, and had no where else to go after graduation. But if anything- anything- could hold a candle, it would be his taste in women.

All women are trashy on some level, but his dad really manages to find ones that pretend so hard that they aren’t. Vipers behind the veneer of smiling faces clad in red lipstick and smart skirts. Always “kind”, always “thoughtful”, and always fleeting. Fickle, stupid bimbos charmed by his dads surface level charisma to quickly realize just how shallow the pool became.

Even his own mom was like that: She fucked off once she realized staying with him meant staying with his dad, and that was a sacrifice she wasn’t willing to make. So she left him to rot in this cesspit with his worthless father and no other way out.

He figures he can’t hold it against her, not as much as he’d like. A few weeks with his shriveled up paternal figure and most women quickly figure out they can do so much better. It’s in their nature to seek out the best, and that certainly isn’t Kotaro; A bumbling idiot with nothing to offer on the best of days. They don’t know any better, so they never last long after being brought home to meet his son, and those are the ones that even make it that far.

So when he starts yammering on about meeting yet another skank and how ‘in love’ he already is, Tomura’s eyes roll so far back in his head that he swears his retinas will detach. He makes a point to be around as little as possible, but somehow still manages to catch an earful about his latest fling and how excited he is for Tomura to meet her.

Great.

True to his word, Kotaro brings you home one evening, eager to impress his son with his latest catch.

His father had a lot of nerve dragging him from his room to meet you- his latest glorified slut. Adding insult to injury, you had the unmitigated gall to talk down to him like you were an adult and he wasn’t. Even though you had to crane your neck to look up and greet him, you still talked at him like he was some child. So different from you even though you were so much smaller than he was- barely even a few years older than he is, if even that. 

So polite, introducing yourself and gently shaking his reluctant hand, making a point to smile at him and telling him how happy were to finally meet him and that you’d heard so much about him. Your hands were so soft, so little in comparison to his own. He dwarfs his pathetic father, practically towers over you, yet you still talk to him like you’re the adult in the equation.

So young, so pretty, though. Far better than anything his father had a right to pull. They weren’t exactly swimming in cash, the house was nothing in particular to gloat about, and he’d done enough eavesdropping around late at night to know his father suffered a particular… ailment, so it certainly wasn’t sexual satisfaction keeping you around. What was it then? 

Probably nothing. You’d probably run off in a few weeks like they all do.

Kotaro is a worthless sack of drooping skin and aging bones; A ghost of a man not worthy of the phantoms he’s seen pass in his years. No longer the dominant male even in his own home: not with a stronger, more virile son coming into his prime under the roof as well. A beta male at best, withering away while his own son eclipses him in strength and intellect and physique. Tomura is in his mid twenties and blooming- His father… who even knows. He doesn’t care- he doesn’t bother to keep track. 

So, maybe you really are just a dumb little whore. It would make sense. Father dearest always had been a dirty old man; A raging pervert with wandering hands and lingering eyes. Always sets his predatory sights on some cute thing too good for him. 

Then again, the poisoned apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, now does it?

You’re cute enough you could have gotten some alpha at your beck and call, yet you’ve attached yourself to his worthless father who, in turn, parades you around like his most beloved trophy. Taking you to dinners he can’t afford despite your ‘insistence’ that you be allowed to pay, buying you things you claim you don’t need. Oh, how the moron dotes on his whores as if it’s enough to keep them anchored to him.

Strangely though, you don’t run off.

If anything, you sink your claws in even further, getting more and more comfortable and showing up more and more. Every time Tomura leaves his fucking room- which isn’t often- you’re there around the corner, smiling dumb and pretty and greeting him politely.

Fuck, he hates you. Hates your stupid voice, your shitty dresses, hates hearing his father happy for once.

It’s no surprise- but unwelcome no less- that he’d move you in sooner rather than later. Terrified to let you out of his sight for even a second lest you come to what little senses you have in your tiny brain and dump him. Of course, he’s quick to take on all of your burdens as his own, even if it means working overtime to support you. He’s always wanted another little housewife, and now he’s so close.

Tomura listens in on the whole conversation feeling sick to his gut.

You beg him not to- offering to pay your own way just like a good girl, but of course his dumbass dad will hear none of it. He’s more than happy to spend a couple of extra hours at work. His dad is so idiotic, so fucking blind. He’s playing right into it. He’s willing to be your workhorse if it means keeping you all to himself.

He’ll hear none of it. None of the fussing or the questions. You’re welcome in his home, he wants you there. It’s no imposition at all, he knows the house will be better with you around.

Except he forgets one crucial detail-

The son he leaves home alone with you every single day when he leaves. 

You’re nothing but a nuisance, something infringing on his private space. The time he used to get home alone to spend to his own devices is now split with you flittering around the house doing whatever it is bimbos like you do. Cleaning, cooking, pretending to read, whatever. He doesn’t have to see you if he doesn’t want, sure, but he still knows you’re there and that’s more than enough to annoy him.

It’s almost like you catch on to his animosity after a while. The way he won’t greet you back, the way he utterly ignores your existence. It bugs you, and as far as he’s concerned, good.

You try to slip him up, try to get close to him and make him like you. You always set a place for him at the table even after Kotaro repeatedly insists- truthfully- that he’ll never join for dinner. Even then, you always bring the plate to his door. He never bothers to answer- not after the first few times when he only opened it a sliver to see your stupid smiling face. After that, he didn’t bother answering. He’ll eat it of course- won’t pass up free food he doesn’t have to leave his room for- and then leave the dirty dish back outside where you left it. You brought it, after all. You can clean it up. 

All your efforts only get you mocked, and boy do you try so hard to get his affection. He even overhears you whining to his dad once or twice, not understanding why he doesn’t like you.

It makes him smile.

His friends- online of course, but still friends or comrades or kindred spirits or whatever- have more opportunistic ideas about it. His first post to the forum complaining about the new living situation was met with envy and awe- not necessarily the response he was expecting, though looking back on it, he supposes they were right. 

lmpwrst: Why u bitchin’? Ur living with a girl ur not related to and that’s closer than any of us have gotten u ungrateful ass

KingKockRool: Go jerk off on her pillow.

Stacystabber91: take a video hold her down and fuck her then idiot

KingKockRool: No wait till she’s sleeping and jerk it on her face

st8lker: Bet she’s ugly tho if she’s dating your dad lol

Oddly enough, he doesn’t agree. That’s one thing he understands about you, loathe as he is to admit it. His new ‘stepmom’, for all her annoyances, is pretty easy on the eyes. The kinda girl that would have caught his eye in an unrelated situation and earned a permanent spot in his spank bank. Thinking about it, the whole ‘dating his dad’ situation maybe threw off his judgement more than he realized.

He’ll let the jury decide: He finds a photo on your social media, crops everyone else out of it, and hits enter. Easy peasy. He saves it to his hard drive for later too. Might as well.

‘Here, you decide then.’

Thus the shitstorm begins. 

st8lker: Oh fuckkk fuck me mommy lmao

lmpwrst: Opportunity is wasted on u

Stacystabber91: you pussy punk bitch, i stand by what I said earlier. dont be a bitch and fuck the little cunt already

VolceliSwear: Whos the bitch

lmpwrst: Scratchy’s new stepmommy lol 

VolceliSwear: Nice. Hit it yet?

Stacystabber91: he hasn’t cause he’s a gigantic fuckin pussy like i told you all

VolceliSwear: Come on dude you actually have that gash sleeping in your house and you haven’t made a move? 

Stacystabber91: it’s not like she could say no cause you’re a big lanky bastard aren’t you? that’s one thing we got over the shortcels and you’re bigger and stronger than her so take what’s yours idiot or I will 

lmpwrst: I agree with SS lol U complain all the time about not having a hole to fuck and now u do

VolceliSwear: ^^ Isn’t your dad a limp-dicked prick who can’t get it up? Someone’s gotta do it so it might as well be you. Hit the bitch so hard and fast she doesn’t know what way is up

Stacystabber91: and send pics moron I want to see tits or I’m coming over there to do it myself

It’s an… intriguing thought. To be honest, he’s never actually considered fucking you before. Had the passive thought like he does with most girls he sees, but never stopped to think on actually doing it. For some reason, there was a mental wall between him and his father’s girlfriends. But why should there be?

Depraved little bastard that he is, he’s not above cornering a girl and forcing himself on her but he’s not keen on going to jail, so he’s never escalated past creepy photos and following the occasional broad a little too closely. Maybe a couple gropes in passing… okay, maybe a lot. But he’s never gotten caught- maybe the girls don’t report it or just couldn’t find him afterward. Either way, it’s all worked out so far because he doesn’t cross certain boundaries.

Most girls are repulsed by him and his repugnant behavior, so they stay far, far away. It’s like he’s a giant blaring warning sign that they tend to heed instinctively.

But you don’t. 

This is different. You live here, so close to him, so within reach. Just how close you are. How easy it would be for him to force you down and make you take it. Just how much time alone he really has with you since his father leaves and returns like clockwork. He’s got the entire day once his father leaves for work. And all night once he takes his sleeping medication. An easy, pretty little catch already wiggling in his web.

 ‘Maybe I will.’ 

That’s how it starts. 

Snowball into snowstorm.

With an idea and a lot of goading from his online buddies, a monster is born and weaned on his own depravity and escalates into something very real, and very dangerous.

Tomura is achingly familiar with the scene- he’s seen enough porn to give him ample ideas. But he’s got all the time in the world. It’s hard not to rush things considering how eager he is, but it’s safer to test the waters first. Get you nice and scared so you’ll keep your pretty mouth shut unless he tells you to open it for him. See how far he can get, how much he can toy with you before you finally catch on.

Who knows? Maybe you’ll fuck him willingly. You are a stupid little slut, after all. Most of you females are deep down beneath that holier-than-thou, stuck up bitchiness you hide behind.

So he starts with a time honored tradition. He steals your panties. 

The bathroom is cluttered with your shit. Your fruity shampoos and conditioners, your makeup, your perfumes. Tomura has a toothbrush and a comb he doesn’t use, a bottle of 3-1 for when he forces himself into a shower, and a singular gray towel, but the rest is between you and his father. Your body washes, your scrubs, your clothes in the hamper. 

It’s easy enough to fish out a fresh pair- only a couple of hours old. Some lacy contraption you must’ve been wearing beneath your clothes and carelessly left in the bin when you showered. It’s easy to pocket them before you hear him rummaging around, and maybe you’ll miss them, but that’s not his problem. Washer eats things all the time, doesn’t it?

He’s hidden back in his room, safely dodging you before he allows himself to indulge- Bringing them to his nose and inhaling the doubled fabric of the crotch so hard that it catches on the edge of his nostrils. 

Fuck, your cunt smell good- tangy and sweet but the tiniest hint of bitter. A couple of whiffs is enough to get his cock twitching, inflating into a painful hardness as he hears you walking around outside in the hallway. Shit, you’re so fuckin’ airheaded, walking around so oblivious as he tongues at the cloth that was nestled right up against your pussy until a few hours ago. He can taste you, sucking your left over essence through his teeth and he swears he’s going to cream all over the inside of his jeans if he doesn’t jerk off right now. 

He’s quick to drop his sweats and sprawl on his bed, thumbing the tip of his prick and licking gratuitous stripes up the slim of your discarded panties with his tongue. You’d look so good sucking his cock; On your bruised knees, face a slathered mess of cum and saliva and running makeup. Bulge in your throat from taking him so deep and trying so hard to please him like you always do- or maybe avoid a painful punishment because he isn’t above using his hands on you and you learned that the hard way.

The thought of your ruddy, soppy face makes him throb- fucking your wet little throat until you’re suffocating, pulling out to let you breathe only to cum on your face. Yanking you up to bend you over the stove and force you to make his worthless father’s dinner with his spend tacking across your face and his cock lodged deep in your cunt. Worthless fucking sack of shit that his father is, he’d spit in it too and make you serve it to him with a smile while your actual daddy watches you do it and rewards you later with his dick fucking you between your tits.

Fuck yes, that’s what he’ll make you do. He’ll make you call him daddy when he creampies you- the opportunity is too perfect to pass. He’ll fuck his father’s pretty whore as she screams and moans for daddy’s cock while his father is away at work to pay all her frivolous bills like the beta-cuck he is. None of the work and all of the reward- as it should be.

It’s not like Kotaro can fuck you, and his friends are right. Someone should. So why not him? Why not spread your legs for your boyfriend’s younger, more powerful son? Oh, sorry, did he give you the illusion that you had a choice? He’ll take what is rightfully his and there’s not a fucking thing you or his pathetic fucking father can ever do about it.

He plucks your panties from his face, moving them instead to work over his cock. It would feel so much better if you were wearing them- grinding your sweet little cunt against his dick, begging him not to fuck you but getting so wet all the same. The silky fabric feels so good against his hypersensitive skin, coupled with the clenched pumping of his fist as he daydreams about railing you into his filthy mattress until you’re too weak to even move on your own, his cum dripping from every one of your used holes. Limp, useless little whore too fucked out to even fight him as he fucks her in the ass again-

Fantasies swirl in his head, flashes of scenarios that tease him and work him into a frenzy. He’s going to cum hard to the thought filling you, your agonized face as the tip of him knocks against the opening of your womb, buried so deep in your cute pussy that he can feel the wall that keeps him firmly locked out of your guts. So close, so tight, so warm. He’s going to pump you full to the brim like the skank you are, fill you nice and thick full of his seed and then use you again and again and again-

He feels it in his spine, waves of pleasure furling at the base and congealing together impossibly tight, so ready to burst. His thighs flex, muscles in his stomach tightening and breath staggering. Searing white behind dry, clenched eyes and his cock twitches in his palm, knot bursting deep between his legs as his hand stills momentarily. His hands twitch, cock throbbing as thick ropes of cum spill over the slats of his fingers, splattering his stomach and the waist of his sweatpants and all over your adorable little panties. 

“Shit-” 

Shallow, shaky breaths, still seeing stars popping behind his eyelids. Fuck, he hasn’t cum that hard in- well, a very long time. Is it the thought of having something tangible soon? His very own cunt to abuse? Grinning, he looks down at the absolutely drenched pair in his hand, sticky with fresh seed.

He thinks so.

Instinctively, he wipes the excess off his fingers and onto his dirty, rumpled black sheets, swiping across his shirt and his skin. Just another ‘mystery spot’ among the rest, soon to become a crusty, flaked white stain on the fabric among all the preexisting ones.

With some effort on his part, he sits up, still trying to catch his breath. He thought post orgasm clarity might deter him from this path, but if anything, he’s even more determined now. Why should he sit and touch himself in a dark room when there’s a perfectly good set of holes to fuck wandering around freely outside?

Oh yeah, this should work out just fine.

There’s a knock on the door while he’s still wading through his gross thoughts, softly at first but then slightly more insistent. It jolts him alert, irritating him that he’s being bothered when he’s scheming. He’s already finished the dirty dead, all ready to put himself away for now but it’s still jarring none the less when someone comes around so closely to him wanking. A quick dash at the clock tells him it’s not dinner time yet, so what gives? Why are you bothering him now? Nothing is ready yet.

He tucks himself away and quickly buries your soiled underwear in the pocket of his sweats. Quickly wiping any remnants on the knees of his pants before swinging his door open, agitation palpable as he greets your stupid, sunny face.

Speak of the she-devil.

“Hi, Tomura! Just wondering if you have any laundry or anything you want me to take!” “N-”  He’s about to slam the door. About to. But you know what? You want his laundry? Sure. He’s got some for you.  “Yeah- yeah, sure.” 

He steps back from behind the door, letting it creak open a little as he rips off his freshly re-soiled sheets.

“Oh, good! Yeah, I’m throwing in my own so I’ll take your load too-“

Yeah you will.

Balling it up, he chucks it at you as you curiously peek your head in. You’ve never seen the inside of his room, but soon you’ll see plenty. He doesn’t know if you can feel the fresh cum on the sheets, but he’s willing to bet you can probably smell it. To your credit, you barely falter, even with the sheet cradled in your bare arms.

You’re probably having a moment of “understanding.” ‘He’s a young man with no girlfriend and no other outlet. Of course he’s going to wack off’ and all that. It’s cute, the way you pretend not to notice. That’s okay, he’ll give you something you can’t ignore.

He steps up to the door again, yanking his black shirt over his head and dropping it in your arms with a shit eating grin.

“Oh- okay, yeah-“

Your sentence halts completely as he starts to strip off his pants and you’re left staring in slight horror as your stepson strips down to his boxers in front of you before placing his sweats on the top of the pile you’re carrying- right by your face.

“I’ve got some more dirty boxers if you think you can handle anymore.” He’s grinning like a fiend, reveling in your poorly concealed discomfort as he leans against the doorframe, swinging out towards you. You’re backing away from him, desperately trying to keep your eyes up and away from his very exposed body, and especially the half hard cock tenting the front of his boxers. Your face is turning a viciously dark shade, stifling your breathing because he just knows what you’re refusing to see, you can almost certainly smell.

“Um- nope! This should be a full one! I’ll get them back to you soon!”

“Oh, take your time. No rush.” 

You scurry off down the hall much quicker than your usual casual walk, probably to scrub your arms clean with iron wool. Poor little thing, just trying to be nice and this is what it gets you.

He cackles something fierce as he shuts his door again, going to look for your ruined panties to post a pic but remembering they’re still in the pocket of his sweatpants, covered in his cum and saliva. A fun little surprise for you to find when you go through pockets to ensure nothing gets stuck in the washer.

And he notices, in the coming days, you stop leaving your clothes in the hamper- or even being able to meet his eyes.

Oh, this should be fun.

[mandoowhorian]

My Mandalorian/Din Djarin Headcanons (S2 Spoilers!)

I haven’t really seen any that weren’t about relationships (reader) or nsfw stuff so here are some of mine :)

Din doesn’t actually have abs. Yeah abs are hot and whatever but since he doesn’t necessarily work that part of his body out, no abs. INSTEAD HE HAS A GORGEOUS LIL STUMMY

This man is vitamin D deficient (hehe)!!! Due to wearing armor constantly, the sun never really hits his skin meaning it can affect his mood quite often, and not only does fighting and hunting cause him physical pain, this man’s bones and joints are week! Drink some milk mando!!!

Absolute tree trunks for thighs that could crush the head of any bounty he came across (and me too)

Din is actually severely near (idk the terms but work with me) sighted but since the helmet adjusts his vision for him it doesn’t bother him much. But as soon as he takes it off he’s shuffling around the crest trying to find stuff

STRONK ass arms

Actually goes by he/they pronouns (before someone says I’m making it gay in mando’a there is so gender so being addressed with they pronouns feels normal to him)

Suppressed the urge to say “Re'turcye mhi Ad'ika” (goodbye little one) to Grogu when Luke took him away because 1. He was hella choked up 2. It’s something he felt was too personal to say in front of everyone

One of Din’s biggest fears is that should the kid be able to stay and live with him, is that Grogu will outlive him and be left with no one to take care of him

He cuts himself shaving... like a lot. No one really taught him how so every time it gets too long he stand in the mirror frustrated with the blade and does his best to carve out a lil moustache without carving too much of his face along with it

He only started growing a moustache cause he saw another bounty Hunter sport one and thought it looked cool

He is literally a space Mormon. That man has never seen tiddies before, and if he had by accident, he’d spin around so fast your head would spin

This one is obviously well known but this mf is so damn trusting of other people and never learns his lesson. HOWEVER, it stems for giving people the benefit of the doubt and a second chance. He was saved by a group that could’ve left him to die like his parents and his people, but instead was given the opportunity to live by the mandalorians believing in him. Although it’s not a mando code, it’s part of Din’s values.

Likes showing off how well he can maneuver his jet pack but would never say it

Has loads of scars and permanent bruises from his work and does his best to take care of his wounds but at this point he’s given up and cauterizes what he can then doesn’t care about the rest

Appreciates a good cup of soup. Not broth, but a good fucking soup. I know my man fucks with a good soup. Stew too. He’s sexy like that.

Still thinks about Omera (the hot milf from the planet Sorgan from episode 4) and can you blame him?

When he’s drifting through hyperspace and Grogu falls asleep in the pod, Din will lift his helmet just above his chin so the baby can hear his unmodulated voice and sings him softer versions of songs he heard as a child in Mando’a. He does it to help remember what words of the ancient language he was taught. He even made up a short “remix” if you will of one song and added the words “clan of two” in it

This man’s lips are CHAPPED as hell. Sahara desert kind of dry.

He does use lotion when he remembers to.

He showers whenever he can because he doesn’t know how long he’ll be out on a mission. He likes to make the water as hot as he can to ease his back and uses bar soap that he bought from a market on Naboo. (Scent is up to interpretation but I like to think it’s something a bit musky/pine related

He tolerates taking care of himself but only really does it because it’d be embarrassing to be a feared bounty hunter and then smell like shit

Likes walking around the razor crest in his socks when he can

Played peekaboo and tag with Grogu

All I can think of tonight, but if you use any of these in FICS, FANART, WHIPS, adding onto any, please tag me!! I wanna see/read them! I might make one about his views on relationships but we will see if people like this first. Also comment or send ur own if you want! My goal is to eventually make just one huge mando headcanon post

[ghostparents]

queer beetlejuice the musical headcanons bc it’s pride and i love to overthink about everything :’)

(also mentions of shitty parents & queerphobia keep yallselves safe okay)

adam is bi, obvs (and maybe demiromantic?). he’s had a few boyfriends & girlfriends before he met barb, but none of them were like Serious relationships. he didn’t have like super accepting parents but they slowly became more tolerant (a part of him thinks that’s because he eventually married a woman tho but he like tries not to think about it). he’s always been very upfront about his sexuality with barbara and she might’ve have had to like reexamine some internal biases on her own time but she has NEVER let adam see any of that and has never been less than proud & loving of every part of him ;-; she’s also maybe punched a few people who were being biphobic to him (he would never want anyone to hurt anyone but also barb has fists and she WILL throw them if need be). adam very casually came out to the deetzes bc honestly he’s been around people who Know that he’d kinda forgotten that it could be like? a thing? obviously no one cares (luckily, bc barb would’ve killed them) but beej is upset for like 10 seconds bc HE wanted to be the one who made adam realise he liked dudes >:(

lydia: this isn’t about you

beej: ??? everything is about me

lydia’s an ace lesbian, and she takes a while to come out. not because she doesn’t think she’ll be accepted, but because she’s just like really upset that she never got to come out to her mother?? emily deetz was very openly bi, and lydia’s upset that she never got to like share that with her. also she’s kinda worried about beej’s reaction (she’s not super sure he’d get asexuality). but eventually she does come out and everyone is really psyched for her and of course delia bakes her a rainbow cake (it’s really really awful. lydia loves it) and beej DOES need some explaining (it turns out that he does understand asexuality he’d just never heard that actual word before!!) and he wears an ‘i love my ace sister’ shirt for like 2 weeks straight (until charles p much threatens not to let him into the house unless he puts on a clean shirt).

barbara had parents that were uh,,kinda a lil more disapproving than adam’s (& adam never came out to them because of it) but she’s been dismantling all the biases she grew up with. and then lydia comes out. and obviously barbara is very happy and proud and supporting!!!! but then like later when it’s just her & her husband she’s like ‘ok but how can she know she’s gay if she hasn’t had a gf tho’ and adam’s like ‘,,,,,,,,,you don’t have to have had a relationship to know you’re gay? it’s like how i knew i was bi even though i’d only dated guys at that point? if you know then like you know & you don’t need proof??’ and barb is like ‘,,,,,,,,,,,understandable. on an unrelated note i need to go have an existential crisis’. she’d been thinking of herself as straight because even though she DID like girls she never dated one, and she just figured that it didn’t count. it’s taking her a while to work through all her internalised biphobia but she is getting there!! she’s a lil annoyed that she didn’t figure this out while she was alive though

beej: i mean if you’re upset you missed out on lady loving then you can join me in staring at delia’s ass while she’s doing yoga

barbara: isn’t she like your mom??

beej: well fuck you now you’ve made it weird for me

beetlejuice is pan and agender!! lydia went through loads of terms with him because a lot of them didn’t exist last time he was in the living world, and those are the two he likes the best. juno didn’t give a shit about who he dated (except to make some shitty remarks about ‘no one will ever love u they’re just using u bc they know ur needy & pathetic’ but it’s fine it’s fine he’s fine he’s working through it) but she DID give a shit about how he dressed, and pretty much pressured him into always wearing super masculine clothes. he likes his suit he does but he also would love to wear some feminine things sometimes? one of his first lil rebellions against juno was painting his nails, and now delia does his makeup with him :’)  (except for lipstick bc he just eats it). lydia bought him his first ever dress and he loves it so much okay. he gets overwhelmed in shops a lot but he still tags along on shopping trips sometimes w delia & lydia and they love picking out things for him that he never thought he’d be ‘allowed’ to wear. he’s ending up sticking with he/him bc he likes it and doesn’t mind as long as everyone understands that he is not a man tyvm. also he doesn’t mind being called mister bc it’s still the funniest thing ever when charles calls him mr juice (delia called him ms juice once and beej was like :O!!!!! so now they all mix a lot with titles & terms. beej loves it)

delia is pan!!! she doesn’t talk about it unless she knows she’s with ppl who don’t care (she’d be the first person to punch a bigot if they said something about someone else but also like she wouldn’t stand up to her ‘friends’ or partners if they said smth bc she’d kinda think she deserved it?? but she’s unlearning that shit don’t worry). now that she knows that the deetzes & maitlands are Good People she is VERY open and happy about who she is!! also obviously no one was surprised bc like that woman RADIATES gay energy. lydia & beej had actually had a bet on how long it was gonna take for her to come out to them. lydia won :). her and beej especially bond over being pan (& also they get high and commiserate over shitty parents who don’t accept them bc yeah that woman has never had a good parental figure in her life lbr).

after delia comes out beej is like [divebombs charles] TOKEN HET and he’s like mr juice. i am bi. and that’s that tbh

[katsukikitten]

Steak out

A/N ANOTHER ONE enjoy this thirst text theme I've got going on. Probs the last one for awhile BBs. Hope yall enjoy this one. Somehow I involved my husband again...

Deku sits hunched over his notes muttering in the confined space of the car.

A slam on the dashboard has his sole leaving his body.

"Would you shut the FUCK UP?!" Bakugou yells, steam rising from the palm that struck the cheap dashboard. Scarlet burns hot, hot enough to cut into emerald.

After a long moment Bakugou readjusts himself, slumping further in the driver's seat but still having a good view of the building ahead.

"It's bad enough the director wants me to steak this shit out let alone with your mumbling ass." Bakugou snarls, hating that he is stuck in this claustrophobic space that only gets heavier with every uttered whisper. The car sits in a shadowed alley facing what seems to be an abandoned warehouse.

Even in broad day light the broken glass and tattered boards gave Izuku the creeps. He sighs, staring at his partner before going back to his notes.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he pulls it out.

*"The pictures I asked for are late, little Prince."*

Deku swallows thickly, he had been in the car all night and half the day. There was no way he was going to be able to get them to you.

*"I'm still on a job."*

He sweats before frantic fingers dash across the screen to add

*"My Mistress."*

But he believes he sent it too late, three dots in a bubble disappear and reappear several times before a message comes through.

*"I don't tolerate excuses or attitude little Prince. Send the pictures now or expect punishment."*

*"Mistress please!"*

*"Now!"*

Izuku's palms sweat, he clearly cannot afford to piss you off anymore. You had given a specific deadline and with plenty of notice.

But he thought he could get away with not sending them, it's not as if the two of you were dating.

More like fooling around, testing boundaries.

Plus he had just been avoiding it, not liking the way he has been looking lately, which is exactly why you assigned it. Izuku squirms in his seat earning a glare from his partner.

"If you've got to fucking piss use the alley damn it!" Bakugou shoves him into the door and for once Izuku is glad for the roughness.

Bakugou gave him a good idea.

"I'll..I'll be right back."

"It'd be okay if you weren't..."

Izuku takes his phone with shaking hands down the alley way just enough to be out of sight.

He lifts his shirt just a tad sending you a picture of himself showing off only the bottom two abs, sure to have his pants up over his light V.

He frowns, wishing he hadn't sent it before a message from you pops up.

*"Good first step but I want more."*

He leaves it on read for a moment before another comes in with a picture attached.

Izuku instantly blushes, cheeks burning with embarrassment and hot desire.

You're sitting on the edge your couch, skirt pulled up past your thick thighs and nice ass, tights ripped open, showcasing your fingers stroking your heavenly form.

*"Come on little Prince. Mistress isn't going to use her imagination to cum."*

*"You want to be a good boy and help me cum right?"*

He palms himself at the thought, hardly ever getting to touch you except when you decide to use his face as your throne.

He tries another picture only pulling his shirt up a bit more still avoid his V or showing his face.

*"I know you can do better...Don't my pictures make you want to cream your pants wishing it were me?"*

This time a selfie of your own fingers in your mouth, clearly tasting yourself for him.

He can taste it now, the sweetness on his tongue does have precum forming.

"Nnngghh." He groans, frustrating himself trying to get any good picture, angling his phone this way and that.

Only for you to encourage that you want more.

You send another dirty photo of you, two fingers spreading yourself.

*"Only good boys get to taste this. Very good boys get to fuck it. Now where is your confidence prince?"*

He has half a mind to be disobedient, ignoring your last order to not cum without you present, whether it be video chat or in person.

He has half a mind to just ignore your text messages and ease the ache in his pants. He palms himself again.

"OI!" The shout behind him causes him to jump, enough that he tosses his *unlocked* phone.

The very same phone that lands unharmed at the feet of a hot head.

Oh

Fuck

"Bakugou wow, so funny seeing you here with my phone! I'llbeneedingitbacknowthanks!" He strings the last part together rushing to snatch it but its too late.

Bakugou must have seen what you've sent, especially since his mouth is twisted up in a deadly smile.

"Fucking around with Y/LN huh?" He asks before noticing something.

"Do..do you not know how to send a nude or semi nude?" He scoffs and when Izuku turns beet red Bakugou comes up with an idea.

"Why don't we show your *mistress* how good of a boy you are okay Prince?" Bakugou asks, cornering Deku against the wall.

The nick name coming from his friends lips is doing something odd to his chest.

The same feeling he got when you first called him that.

"Ah Kaachan what are you?"

"Trust me." He says lifting his shirt all the way before putting it into his mouth, biting it while angling his head up slightly.

His scarlet eyes look into the camera and the gaze he is giving it even has butterflies in Izuku's stomach. He watches Bakugou hit send.

You open your phone to see a sinful picture of Bakugou.

Your core melts further as your eyes flutter over the image. The hard V points to mouth watering sin, a faint ash blonde happy trail further guiding you before your eyes finally travel up.

Slowly over each perfectly sculpted ab, one nipple is covered while the other is exposed thanks to the hot head securing the fabric between snarled teeth, eyes leaded heavy with lust.

Your heat clenches on it's own, you've always had a desire for Bakugou as well.

A message comes in.

*"Are you playing with another Dom, little one?"*

Bakugou smirks wildly as the idea forms. He had played with you before and he loved the idea of you painted with jealousy. Whether it be from his hands touching another or because his hands were touching your current toy.

He blasts the wall across from the two of them, removing a brick to hold Izuku's phone perfectly before pulling his shirt over the top of his head.

"Ka..kaachan." Izuku stammers and damn did he look cute. Flustered and stuttering Bakugou's nickname, his smirk becomes deadlier.

Two birds with one stone.

"Hush, *prince*." Bakugou snarls, ripping open Izuku's shirt right down the middle. Pulling it slightly off his shoulders, a deadly hand popping with anticipation before smoothing it over abs, feathering over Izuku's soft V before letting his fingers settle just beneath the band of his boxers.

The timer should go off any second and Bakuou needed Deku to make the perfect face.

Bakugou drags his capable tongue up the side of Izuku's cheek, sure to keep his eyes trained over his shoulder at the camera.

He can feel Deku's rapid pulse before removing his hands from such warm smooth skin, grabbing onto the phone more than happy with the shot.

He sends it with a Kingly caption.

*"Yes this little Prince is my toy now, Brat."*

"Ka..kaachan you're going to make Mistress upset. You need to address her appropriatly." Izuku defends your honor only to be seized by the throat and shoved agaisnt rough brick.

Katuski applies just enough pressure to Izuku's rapid pulse, careful to avoid his fragile larynx.

The same thing Bakugou used to do to you. Izuku's eyes flutter and the blonde can tell that he is close to sub space.

A text rings out on Izuku's phone that is still in Bakugou's hand.

"I'm her master so that makes me *your* master. You'll address me as King just as that brat should." He squeezes before letting go, "Don't let that little kitten corrupt you, prince. We have a mission to finish."

Izuku watches a broad back with mixed emotions, he trails slowly behind.

"K...king Katuski. What do you mean you're mistress's master? She said she was single."

Katsuki sighs before opening the door for Deku, make sure that when he steps into the car he does not bump his emerald head. The blond leans into the car, close to Deku's face.

"Fuck..." He hisses as he studies Izuku, "You're like fucking truth serum. She technically is single but she's my bratty ass Kitten. She can be your mistress too."

Bakugou shuts the door glancing down at the bright glass in his hand, a smile returning to his lips before he settles in the car.

*"Guess who just came without your permission King. I should be rewarded though I found us another play mate."* 👅😜

You pant, not believing your luck. The last picture sending you over the edge in seconds with blurred vision of black stars.

God damn he was too good.

Teasing you with your own toy, you slam your head agaisnt the head of the couch. Hating that you have a need to be a brat and a need to dominate/ help build the confidence of another.

You bite your lip in anticipation for a reply.

Your phone chimes and you unlock it at super human speed.

"Guess you'll have to see whether you'll get rewarded or punished tonight. Be on time. I'll have our little Prince waiting, Kitten."

[moonlight-ghoulette]

prompt: rhett walks in on link in a compromising position (aka butt stuff) and can't stop thinking about it

Here ya go, Anon! Some good ol college rhink :)

[[MORE]]

Rhett swiped his key card into his residence hall and made his way back to his dorm, happy to be free from the grips of history, calculus and structural dynamics-- at least for the day. And there was a family-sized bag of pepperoni pizza rolls in his dorm mini fridge calling his name, which made things just a little more tolerable.

With a quick turn of the key, Rhett pushed his way into the room only to be shocked out of his pizza-flavored daze by a shrill "Rhett! Wait!" echoing off the painted bricks of their dorm, a flash of bare skin, then a comforter, and finally wood grain directly in front of his own face after he pulled the door back shut in a panic.

What. The fuck. Was that.

Rhett's legs took him right back down the hallway he came from on their own accord as his mind desperately tried to catch up to what he just saw. 

Link. Buck naked. Hands and knees on the bed, backing onto a bright blue thing attached to the wall like his life depended on it.

In my bunk. 

Link. Fucking himself. Right? With a sex toy? With something. So he's gay? No, he doesn't have to be. He's doing it on my bed. He's doing it on my freaking bed.

Rhett walked briskly towards the library. He needed someplace quiet and free of distractions so he could process everything. Renting a study room for an hour seemed like it would do. 

Rhett dropped his backpack to the ground and folded himself down onto the soft chair, his face in his hands. How was he supposed to go back to his dorm now? Can he? Link has to be mortified.

Wouldn't be surprised if he's filing for different housing arrangements this very moment. 

They've seen each other naked in locker rooms. They've requested privacy for some self-care. There have even been a few nights where Rhett would wake up to the top bunk gently shaking with, no doubt, the movement of Link's hand moving over his dick. But this was a whole different beast. This wasn't just catching your best friend jacking off. 

Or was it? If this is how Link prefers to get his rocks off, is it really that different? Just because he's riding a wall-mounted rubber dick in--in my bed. Shit. Why? Why is that the one thing I can't get past?

Rhett let wishful thinking get in the way of logic. But he couldn't let the thought slide.

Maybe it's because he wishes it were me.

Rhett peered over as his backpack buzzed once, then again seconds later. It had to be Link. He dug through the pockets until he found his phone, complete with several new messages flashing on his screen. 

Link:

Please don't think im

some degenerate

or pervert

Link:

We can talk about

this, I can explain.

theres alot I need to 

explain

Link:

Just come back soon

idk what you're doing and

I'm freaking out and

I don't wanna lose you

over a stupid choice I made

Link:

Rhett?

Link:

If ur mad I get it. I'd

be mad too. Be furious, 

I deserve it. But please

bo I don't wanna screw us up

Link:

Just come back home

Link:

Rhett…

Rhett had to read through the messages three times before giving up, realizing he couldn't get the mental image out of his head no matter how much he tried. He owed Link a response, that much was sure. 

But the way Link was riding that thing was replaying over and over in his head, taking up all the mental facilities he had to spare. His shaggy black hair falling over his eyes. His thighs spread wide, back arched, hands digging into the comforter, desperate for something to hold on to. Jaw slack, eyes shut, moans breaking through his ragged breaths, absolutely railing himself with the toy.

Or maybe his mind was supplementing all those extra details for him. 

Shit.

Rhett tried to ignore the growing tension in his abdomen as he picked his phone back up.

Rhett:

It's ok. We're fine 

I promise. Be home in 15

Rhett didn't want Link to panic, but he needed just a little more time. At least his life-long best friend wasn't packing his bags, never to be heard from again. But now there were more issues right behind that, and the main one sitting in his lap begged to be attended to as soon as possible.

Rhett had fucked his hand to the thought of Link before; He was no stranger to it. Hearing Link shudder and choke back moans late at night when he thought he wouldn't be heard had spurred on many a hard climax for Rhett. If he were not so emotionally invested in this friendship, this would be the ultimate fodder for his bank of mental jack-off material, neatly filed under L for Link which sat locked tight away from the sections of his brain meant for reality. But aside from his fantasies, this was his best friend. His platonic life partner. And this was about to become a lengthy conversation, an unearthing of dusty skeletons hidden in their closets. And possibly a reevaluation of their friendship and where they now stand. 

Turns out Link wasn't the only one who had things to get off their chest. 

Rhett checked the time and glanced over at the small window of the heavy steel door. He had only a few short minutes to sort out his own issue so he could face Link with a clear mind. 

Propping his backpack onto the arm of the chair beside him to block the view of any curious passerbys, Rhett shoved down the front waist of his sweatpants and pulled his already hard cock out, wasting no time in giving himself a few firm strokes from base to tip. He let his head fall back and rest on the wall as he worked himself over, twisting his wrist on every pull as images of Link flashed back to his mind even more vivid than before. 

This time, Link was in front of him. Resting on his hands and knees, his perfect little ass poised and ready. He looks back over his shoulder, his expression of need so strong, it looks as if he could cry.

"Please," Link pants out, barely a whisper. "Please Rhett. I need you. Been wanting this for so long. Fuck me. C'mon, please."

Rhett let out a soft moan as his hand sped up, giving himself completely over to the fantasy. 

"I got you, baby. Don't worry. I'm gonna fuck you real good." Rhett whispered to the ceiling, rolling his hips as he worked his hand even faster. 

"That little toy of yours can't fuck you back like I can, huh? That what you were doing in my bunk? Thinkin' of me? Wishing it were me fillin' you up like this?" Rhett moaned to the quiet room, his hand almost a blur on his cock as he chased his orgasm, his toes curling hard in his shoes. 

Rhett came hard with a whisper of Links name on his lips, his free hand pooling the ropes of come pulsing out of his cock as he thrust his hips to ride out the last waves of pleasure his body had to offer. 

For once, Rhett was thankful of the dirty gym clothes he had stuffed in the bottom of his backpack, using the shirt to wipe off his hands and half-hard cock before stuffing himself back into his sweatpants. 

He checked his phone. 6 minutes left. Just in time for him to make it back to his dorm as promised. 

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

I KNOW, I know. I'm leaving y'all on a cliffhanger. But maybe that means there will be a part 2? 🤔

Hope you enjoyed this, Anon! And I hope everyone else does as well! :)

[dovechim]

instant gratification 2.5 (m)

➾ 10.6k 

➾warnings: smut, pregnancy mention (as applies to IG2)

➾jk’s POV of IG2 as heavily requested!

instant gratification 01 | 02 | 2.5 | 03

This party sucks. 

His phone screen is dark and it mocks him even as he pastes on a smile for the girl currently cuddling into his side. What was her name again? Ye Eun? Eunha? 

Fuck if he knows.

All he knows is that you’re not replying to his texts, and he needs to get drunk asap before he does something stupid like call you. The girl he currently has his arm around beckons to her friend from a distance away, and Jeongguk tries his best to keep his eyes off her tits in her low cut tube dress as she approaches with a giggle.

“Jeongguk, right?” Girl number 2 sidles up to his unoccupied side and he immediately feels her breasts against his arm. They’re firm to the touch, which either means that they’re entirely fake, or that there’s enough padding in her bra for it to be a bulletproof vest.

Either way, yours feel a million times better.

Jeongguk is so absorbed in thinking about your tits that he misses the name of the second girl, and he curses himself internally. Fucking get it together, Kook. He wraps an arm around the new girl to make up for it, feeling the curve of her waist under his arm.

There was a time where having two girls flanking him like this would make him feel like he was on top of the world, but today there seems to be something missing. All around him there are guys shooting him envious looks as they eye up the two girls beside him, and girls are pining over him with tops pulled down as low as possible and skirts hiked up to see who can show more skin.

Ye Eun or Eun Ha— fuck, he really should pay more attention next time— turns to his neck, pushing her cleavage into his face as she reaches to play with his hair. “Kookie baby, is it okay if Solbin joins us tonight?”

Solbin. He almost sags in relief, and she takes it as an affirmative, dragging his hands from her waist up to her chest not so subtly. It feels almost the exact same as Solbin’s, hard to the touch and all he can feel is the padding of her bra cups, so it elicits almost no reaction from him as he continues to feel her up absently. She moans into his ear, a high pitched, whiny sound that sets his nerves on edge, and Jeongguk decides that he has to be a lot less sober for this to work.

“Shhh babe let me get a drink okay?” He murmurs into her ear in what he hopes is a sensual manner, and it seems to work because she presses a kiss to his cheek. He attempts to detach his arms from their waists in order to escape to the kitchen, but the two girls immediately clutch both his arms and insist to accompany him.

The burn of his first two shots die down a little too quickly, and for the first time Jeongguk resents his alcohol tolerance. It’s not till his fifth shot that things around him start to get a little blurry, and he recognises it as a good sign, so he finishes off with one more shot for good measure.

The two girls coo over how many shots he’s taken, praising him and simultaneously trying to push their bodies up against him in not so friendly competition. The alcohol has loosened him up now, and beginning to feel a tad more like his usual self, he shoots them a charming little smile while pulling them both into his broad chest.

“There’s no need to fight, ladies, there’s plenty of me to go around.” Turns out he didn’t need to know their names in the first place, because he’s more than capable of making things up as he goes. 

Jeongguk pauses at the entryway of the kitchen to take a second glance at Solbin’s tits, and they seem to have softened up a little, maybe they don’t feel so bad after all. Just as he’s reaching to cop another feel, he realises belatedly that the three of them are taking up the entire entryway of the kitchen, blocking the path off completely when there’s someone trying to leave the kitchen.

An apology is on the tip of his tongue when he realises it’s you, dressed in an oversized pink sweatshirt and carrying a heaping plate of food.

“Having a good time, sweetheart?” Jeongguk doesn’t know where that term of endearment came from; he’s never called anyone that in his entire life. Usually he just sticks to babe and it works well enough with most girls to let him into their bed. You look cosy in your sweatshirt, your hair is a little messy in your bun, and it looks like you tumbled straight out of bed to come here. Jeongguk tries to remember if he’s ever seen you look so casual before, your smooth skin looking so soft without makeup, but he’s distracted by the two girls as they giggle at each other.

He suddenly realises that he’s been staring at you for a little too long when he already has two girls by his side, so he turns to one of them and presses a kiss into her cleavage.

“Wonderful, if you’ll just excuse me,” you deadpan as you step to the side.

Solbin whines as she thrusts her chest into his face, demanding the same treatment. At the sight of her pushed up cleavage, Jeongguk’s eyes can’t help but dart towards your chest instead, concealed by your sweater and wish that he could bury his face between your breasts instead. They’re infinitely softer and feel so much better, not to mention how they bounce freely when he fucks up into that amazing pussy of yours—

He pulls Solbin into his chest the same time she pushes his head down into her breasts, and Jeongguk feels as if his forehead just hit a brick wall. Buried in her cleavage, he’s vaguely aware that you’re leaving the kitchen.

“Don’t eat too much, _____, I don’t want you throwing up all over me when I pound that cute ass later,” Jeongguk is struggling for breath against Solbin’s chest, but luckily he manages to get the words out before you get out of earshot.

*

There’s no substitute for real tits, Jeongguk realises as he grips Solbin’s hips. Eunha/ Ye Eun is helping Solbin to grind on his thigh, and while this is usually one of his favourite positions, it’s not as satisfying this time because Solbin’s fake tits don’t bounce up and down like yours do and he shifts his eyes from her chest in disinterest.

His cock is painfully hard and Solbin throws her head back to stick her chest out as she comes on his tensed thigh muscles with a scream. She immediately climbs off his thighs to bend over and try to palm him through his jeans, but he dodges her by tweaking her nipple in his fingers instead.

“Oppa, don’t you want me to suck you off?” Solbin whines from her position on the floor in front of him. “Or does Oppa want to fuck my tits instead?” She pushes her breasts together enticingly, but the thought of sliding his dick between those two hard globes almost makes him lose his erection.

“Maybe later, Oppa has something to take care of, so I’ll call you later okay?” He shoots his signature grin at both girls, and they nearly melt while failing to realise that he’s actually getting rid of them.

Jeongguk leaves the two girls still in the room while heading towards the top of the stairway, using it as a vantage point as he scans the room for you, praying and hoping that you didn’t leave the party yet. You’re easy to spot since he knows what you’re wearing, and he soon sees you at the edge of the living room, against the walls with what looks like a very drunk Park Jimin. 

Maybe it’s because all the blood in his brain is currently busy being somewhere else, but his gut churns and he reaches for his phone in his back pocket without a second thought.

11.00pm [jungcock]: stop babysitting and come upstairs 11.04pm [you]: idk im not really into foursomes 11.05pm [jungcock]: that’s an idea for another time 11.05pm [jungcock]: but seriously, come up babe 11.06pm [jungcock]: I’ll make it worth ur while ;) 11.08pm [you]: I seriously doubt it 11.10pm [jungcock]: try me 11.11pm [jungcock]: come on u were my 11:11 wish

His pickup line is lame, but it must have worked because he sees you coming up the stairs towards him and he immediately breaks out into a grin.

“Got rid of pussy boy so easily?” Jeongguk reaches to grab your hand, feeling satisfied when it fits in his perfectly.

“Got rid of those bitches so easily?” There’s a small frown on your face, and Jeongguk thinks it’s actually pretty cute.

“Someone’s feisty tonight, is it that time of the month?” He can’t help but try to rile you up further, eyes fixed on the way your brows are furrowed a little.

“Let’s just say I am, so I can just suck your dick and go home okay?”

Jeongguk drops your hand in reflex, then immediately regrets it. He’s never actually thought about you having your period before, of other substances coming out of your vagina that he so loves. Of course she fucking has periods Kook, don’t be an idiot. He wonders if you have cramps or backaches during your periods, and if there’s anyone to bring you chocolates or give you massages during that time. He sees the annoyed expression on your face and curses himself for his immaturity, but he has go through with it now, taking your hand back would only be lame. “Are you really?” 

“No, I’m not, but I am running out of patience. Didn’t know you were this much of a squeamish manchild. Hurry up and get your dick out so I can go back to sleep.” You shove him onto the bed while tucking your hair behind your ear. “And hand over those pictures.”

Oh. Those pictures. No way in hell would he ever hand them over, because then he’d lose another way to get you to see him. Not that Jeongguk isn’t confident in his abilities to get pussy without blackmail, just that your pussy in particular, seems to require a bit more effort than he’s used to. So Jeongguk tries to change the subject the best way he knows how to, “Aww c’mon babe, I was only joking. And that’s the first time someone’s ever talked about my dick and sleep in the same sentence.” 

“Cut the crap Jeongguk, what do you want?”

Jeongguk grabs your hand to pull you down onto the bed beside him. “Let me eat you out baby, I’ve missed that pussy so much.”

His hands find purchase on the swell of your hips that fit so perfectly into his hands, and he swears his mouth is watering as he reaches for the zip on your jeans and undoes it, pushing your pants down to reveal your light blue panties. 

“W-what about those other girls? I’m sure they would have been more than glad to let you eat them out.”

Fuck. He feels a little lightheaded at the sight of your simple blue cotton panties, and the scent of your pussy hits him immediately. He pauses to stare at your panties, thinking about how much he loves this pair on you as he licks and suckles at your inner thighs. “Why would I want other pussy when yours tastes the best? Fuck, no one smells as good as this pussy does.”

Jeongguk gives in and licks the seam of your underwear, almost moaning when they turn transparent and he can see your pussy lips through them. “What a pretty pussy, but I’d like to see it without these panties. Hips up baby.”

You oblige and raise your butt, allowing him to slide your panties down along with your jeans to your calves. With your knees liberated, he coaxes you to lay your thighs flat on the bed so that your inner lips are completely spread and not touching each other. Jeongguk has to take a deep breath to keep himself from grinding against the bed at the sight of your exposed cunt, all spread out and dripping for him.

“That’s it, spread your legs wide and show me that pussy, don’t be shy… I love eating this pussy, you like getting your cunt licked don’t you?” Jeongguk can’t help himself as he watches your arousal slowly trickle out of your slit, and he itches to lick every inch of your pussy. You inch your hips into his face, moving your dripping core closer to his mouth. He rewards you with a lick and noisy suckles as he laps up your juices that are leaking out of you. Your arousal smears all over his lips and even the tip of his nose, but Jeongguk doesn’t mind, in fact it turns him on to be as messy as possible.

He concentrates his efforts on your slit, dipping his tongue in a few times teasingly and avoiding your clit altogether.

“Jeongguk, please, please…”

“Please what baby? What do you want me to do to you?” He allows his mouth to slurp and smack against your lips. 

“Clit please, I want you to suck my clit.”

Jeongguk loves dirty talk, especially when you do it. The first few times he had to coax you into letting loose, and he still remembers the cute little blush on your cheeks the first time you asked to suck his cock, but over time you got more and more comfortable with it. “Good girl.” He makes sure to reward you by using two fingers to spread your lips further and expose your throbbing clit to him before latching on and suckling with increasing pressure. 

He knows you love your clit suckled like this, so he concentrates the tip of his tongue on your nub while letting your pussy lips hug the sides of his mouth, feeling as if he could spend forever eating you out like this. Jeongguk runs his fingers along your folds as he continues to suck, gently sliding one finger inside you.

“Shit, you got even tighter because I didn’t fuck you for so long, is that right baby?” You tighten around his finger immediately, and Jeongguk can’t help but groan as he remembers how tight you always feel on his cock the first time he enters you. The last time he was inside you was a few weeks ago, a few weeks too long of going without the feeling of your pussy engulfing his cock completely.

He pulls out while letting your juices accumulate on his tongue before spitting them onto two fingers and easing them back in. Jeongguk thinks of the last time where he got to cum inside you, and he remembers the way your pussy looked all covered and stained with his semen dripping from your lips and even from inside you. He longs to cover you with his cum again, but then you moan from your position above him.

“Jeongguk- ohhh fuck I’m so wet, I’m gonna come.”

“That’s it baby, let me hear how good I’m eating this pussy,” he draws away to lick his lips, eyes still fixated on his fingers buried in your cunt. “Are you gonna come all over my fingers like a dirty girl? You’re so wet already, if you come you’re gonna wet the bed.”

“Yes, Kook, right there, my clit please,” you beg for his lips back on your clit. “Wanna come with my clit in your mouth.” He does as you ask and uses his other hand to spread your lips obscenely again, sucking your clit straight into his mouth.

You push his head further into your pussy, and Jeongguk moans with his lips around your clit at how your scent surrounds him and your juices soak his chin and cheeks as you come around him. He thrusts a few more times to help you ride out your orgasm, watching the way you close your eyes and gasp, chest heaving. Jeongguk wishes he had taken your top off earlier so he can stare at your tits, real ones that are soft and bounce up and down when he fucks you.

“You look so good when you come, especially when I’m the one doing it,” he smirks as he pulls his fingers out of your clenching core, licking and sucking the rest of the juices clean. He’s kneeling on the bed facing you now, and the tent in his pants is painfully obvious.

Still panting and out of breath, you regain some semblance of consciousness and close your legs modestly, pushing yourself to sit up. As you reach down to adjust your jeans and underwear, something uncomfortable digs into your butt and you pull it out, only to realise that it’s your phone, lit up with messages and missed phone calls.

Jeongguk watches as you check your messages with increasing dismay on your face.

“Fuck, I have to go.”

Jeongguk adjusts his uncomfortably hard erection in his pants as he watches you zip up and stand. “Wait babe, seriously? What the fuck could be more important than this monster dick right now? It’s so hard for you, why don’t you come and suck me off like a good girl hmm?” He glances down at the bulge with a self-satisfied appraisal of his own size, and you roll your eyes in disgust.

“I’m not going anywhere near that dick until your ego deflates.” Jeongguk springs up off the bed to follow you out as you head down the stairs, and he lunges forward to grab your hand while still on the stairs. He follows your line of sight till it lands on Park Jimin, fucking cockblock Park Jimin, who’s about to do a kegstand in the middle of the living room.  “_____, let’s go back okay? Jimin’s a big boy, he can take care of himself, what I need is for you to take care of me—”

You shove him away violently, causing him to nearly topple on the stairs, and he blames the amount of blood currently not in his brain as he watches you walk away.

*

This girl has way too much spit. 

Usually Jeongguk likes to be as messy as possible during sex, but this is overdoing it. Solbin is gagging and choking on his cock when he isn’t even going that deep, and Jeongguk sighs mentally. His mind wanders to how you manage to deepthroat him with the most delicious sounds coming from your throat, a far cry from the dying gasps he hears now. You always let him fuck your throat no matter how much of a dick he is to you, and your lips always feel so soft around him.

The thought of your lips makes him moan aloud, and Solbin mistakes it for a good sign as she attempts to choke more of his dick down.

Jeongguk fists a hand in her hair to control her movements as his eyes stray to his phone beside him on the bed. He’s still half fuming at how you left him to suffer with blue balls just to go after that fucking dickhead Park Jimin, so without thinking he grabs his phone to open the camera and snap a picture. He’s careful to cut out half of Solbin’s face, making his dick the main focus of the picture.

“Oppa, w—hat areh yu duing?” She chokes around his cock, and Jeongguk tugs at her hair a little to silence her.

“Shhh, oppa just likes your mouth so much that he has to take a picture,” he winks at her while opening up his conversation with you and typing a caption to go along with the image. 

“W—why don’t yu thake a vi—videoh inshead?” She moans around his dick, and Jeongguk has to admit that it’s not a terrible idea.

“You’d let me do that babe?” He grins at her. “Mhhm, oppa will jerk off to this so many times, you have no idea,” Jeongguk is lying, he plans on deleting the video the second it fulfils its intended purpose. “Make sure to gag nice and loud for me.” 

He aims the camera at a similar angle, trying not to wince as Solbin exaggerates her choking and gagging on his dick, causing a trail of spit to form on her chin. He fakes a moan for the video, fisting a hand in her hair to push her down further as he fucks into her throat.

Jeongguk hurriedly presses send on the video before tossing his phone aside, closing his eyes and licking his lips as if to remind himself of how he had your pussy in his face just moments ago... It’s how he manages to cum as he shoves deep in Solbin’s throat, groaning as he empties his load into her mouth.

He pulls out wearily, petting her cheek briefly in thanks as he zips himself back up. 

“Wait, oppa,” she struggles to swallow his load, wincing at the bitter taste and Jeongguk can see that she’s a little disappointed that he came in her mouth. “Wanna go another round? I want you to cum inside me, wanna feel oppa’s cum in my slutty pussy.” 

Jeongguk remembers the first time he managed to get you to say that to him, he nutted so hard that he almost blacked out on top of you. He loves leaving his cum on every single inch of your body, but nothing compares to being inside you when he comes, letting his cum paint your walls without the barrier of a condom. As he looks down at Solbin’s tear stained cheeks, he suddenly feels filthy and disgusted with himself, wondering why you would even trust him so much to let him fuck you without a condom and cum inside you. 

“Another time,” he says dismissively as he picks up his phone and starts to leave the room, feeling the stirrings of another erection at the thought of his cum dripping from your pussy lips. 

Then his phone buzzes in his palm, and it’s a notification from you. His heart races as he sees that you’ve sent an image, and the irrational part of him is hoping for a nude, like that fantastic upskirt shot of your cum filled pussy you sent him that one time.

But it turns out to be an unfamiliar pair of lips on your neck, and the jealousy that stirs in his chest completely quenches his erection immediately.

*

Jeongguk is in his element when he’s playing basketball; it makes him feel unbeatable. Mingyu is dribbling the ball for way too long, so he swoops in to steal it from right under his nose, letting out a loud whoop as he fools around with the ball. Jeongguk would be lying if he said he wasn’t showing off for the many prospective freshmen girls who are milling around and probably drooling over his biceps.

And also, for you sitting at your booth right across him.

He spins the ball on his index finger effortlessly, something which has taken him countless practices in the privacy of his room to get down perfectly. Jeongguk can’t help but occasionally glance over to the cheerleading booth every now and then to check if you’re watching him, since he’s never really been any good at being ignored. Ever since the mini jealousy game he initiated over text that day, he’s tried to play things off like it never happened, asking you to meet him at the lockers or the quad, but you always leave him on read. Which has never happened before, and to be honest he’s kind of impressed with your willpower, because his own is starting to wear down, and fast.

Jeongguk watches from the corner of his eye as Sejong is talking to you, whilst trying to keep up with the impromptu 2 on 2 game that Mingyu started. Actually, half of his concentration is spent on watching you— looking a little pale and remaining seated at your booth— and the other half is scanning the vicinity for Park Jimin, praying and hoping that he doesn’t show up due to some kind of illness, the more violent the better. He only has his excellent basketball skills to thank, since he manages to nail a steal even while distracted.

But then a pink head comes running in from the opposite side of the field, and it’s the bane of Jeongguk’s existence. Park Jimin heads over to your side almost immediately, and you greet him with a smile that makes Jeongguk’s stomach turn over on itself. If only he could just walk up to you like that and be greeted with a smile that sweet. Park Jimin says something to you, and you nod before placing your hands around one of your knees and lifting them up in a stretch, and then—

No. No fucking way.

You’re placing your leg on that pink fuckhead’s shoulder, in the exact same position that Jeongguk loves fucking you in. Jeongguk doesn’t even throw the ball back at Mingyu anymore, just keeps it tucked under his arm as his stare burns into sodding Park Jimin’s back. The look on your face as Jimin helps you to stretch reminds him of how you always wince and moan when he pounds his cock into you for the first time, pussy so tight and stretching to accommodate him, and-

Fuck, he’s gonna get a boner if he continues like this.

He has to watch, seething in jealousy when you hug Jimin in thanks, and that fucker’s hands are on your bare waist. Jeongguk would like to cut his hands off just for touching your bare skin like that, or come to think of it, just jump straight to slicing off Park Jimin’s dick. He’s itching to know if you did anything with Park Jimin that night, let him touch you all over, hands and mouth on your sweet little pussy, wants to know if you let his cock inside you and if you let him cum in your cunt.

But asking outright would mean that he’s jealous, when really; he has no ownership over you and you are free to fuck whoever you like. And besides, Jeongguk really hates losing.

It’s time for your cheer team to perform, and Jeongguk fights his way to the front of the crowd, but it’s really no mean feat because everyone just gives way to him after a glance of his handsome face. With an almost pay-per-view position, Jeongguk lets his eyes rest entirely on you, admiring how the stage is raised slightly so that he can admire your legs in that cute little pleated cheer skirt of yours.

You look a little nervous, every muscle in your body tense as you position yourself in front of Jimin, and Jeongguk rolls his eyes when he remembers that the two of you are stunt partners. He bets he could probably lift you higher than that weakling ever could, and it’s not like he’s never tried it before during wall sex. His endurance is second to none, and Jeongguk knows it.

The music starts and Jimin immediately lifts you up into position, and the nervousness vanishes from your face and is replaced with a genuinely excited smile. Jeongguk takes a second to admire your confidence that’s just so sexy, something about your entire demeanour that changes when you perform a routine gets him so attracted to you. The way you smile and grin at the audience as you contort your body into these fucking amazing positions, the enticing sway of your hips as you nail the dance routine with practiced ease and that overwhelming charisma that he only gets to see during performances has him so incredibly in love with you. 

Jeongguk loves watching you perform and dance in your element just like this. 

The performance ends way too soon, and he can’t take his eyes off you as you perch on Jimin’s shoulders, waving to the crowd with your cute little ribboned ponytail bouncing happily. Jeongguk starts to head over to the cheerleading booth along with hordes of other interested visitors, fully intent on pulling you aside to show you who you really belong to, but you’re already busy being lifted and thrown in the air. There are people dressed in casual home clothes on the mat trying out cheerleading stunts, so Jeongguk figures that this must be some kind of hands on exhibition thing.

Perfect. 

He changes course to head towards the locker rooms, brushing off Mingyu with the excuse of a stomach ache. When he reaches his locker, he immediately sheds his basketball jersey and shorts, changing into the spare outfit of a polo tee and jeans that he keeps in his locker before making his way out again, in a beeline for the cheerleading booth. 

Park Jimin is currently monitoring a freshman as he flips you over into the air, and catches you in his arms before setting your feet down onto the ground. You grin at the freshman to thank him, and that’s when Jeongguk makes his move.

“Um, excuse me, but can I try one of those stunts that you did on stage just now?” Jeongguk puts on his best doe eyed expression and grins at you with a little scrunch of his nose.

You start to smile and turn around. “Of course, just step right this way—” 

A look of shock manifests itself on your face, and Jeongguk is drawn to your red lips as your mouth drops open, taking in his appearance. 

“You guys were awesome on stage; I just really want to become like you!!” He adds just for good measure, and he doesn’t have to fake this enthusiasm.

“Cut the crap Jeon Jeongguk, what the fuck do you want?” Jimin steps protectively in front of you.

“I just want to help in a… basket toss, is that what it’s called?” Jeongguk pretends to hesitate as he places a finger on his chin thoughtfully. Fuck, he really deserves an Oscar for his acting right now, or at least a Nobel Prize for not punching Park Jimin right in his face.   

“How about no, and you just fuck right off—” Jimin starts up, but you interrupt him. 

“Of course, just head over here and we’ll show you!” You hurriedly clap a hand over Jimin’s mouth just as your coach strolls past the three of you, pausing in front of your group with his scrutinising eyes and unforgiving stance.

Jeongguk cheers internally at the impeccable timing, and grins as you beckon another one of the team’s bases over. He’s positioned right behind you as you step into the open palms of Jimin and the other base, and Jeongguk lets his eyes admire the tiny slope of your waist, exposed by your cheer top, and the pleats of your skirt as they skim down over your ass. Your coach takes his hands and places them on your thighs, right below the hem of your skirt, and Jeongguk immediately feels a part of him perk up with interest.

If this is what cheerleading consists of, he’s in the wrong damn club, alright.

Your coach is mumbling something into his ear, but he doesn’t really pay attention because all he can feel is the silky softness of your thighs beneath his hands, the slight quivering of your muscles as you maintain your position. “It’s okay to touch her, don’t worry kid. It’s to make sure she’s safe.”

Well then, if that’s the case… 

Jeongguk takes the opportunity to slide his hands up your thighs when your coach takes a step back to explain some other things that he’s not really interested in, but he does make an effort to listen, at least a little bit, while feeling you up so that he doesn’t make a mistake and accidentally hurt you. He lets his hands wander up to your ass and even massage it a little, smirking when you tense up under his touch. It’s a pity he can’t feel your underwear, all he’s touching are the spandex of your safety shorts, and this immediately makes him think back to the time where he confiscated these and made you go to cheer without them.

Good times.

Your coach is counting down already, so Jeongguk forces himself to focus and try to forget about how your thighs and the curve of your ass feel under his hands as the two bases toss you up, and tries to contribute a little too. He watches in admiration as you’re thrown straight up into the air, parting your legs in a split before coming back down, and he wonders how the fuck you can do something like that in such a short amount of time.

You land back in the arms of Jimin and the other base safely, and Jeongguk breaks out into a round of applause, genuinely impressed by how flexible you are. He thanks the coach for the opportunity, and once he leaves, Park Jimin takes a threatening step closer.

Or as threatening as possible, given that he’s almost a full head shorter.

“Can you leave now? You got what you were looking for right?” Jimin says immediately once Coach is out of earshot. 

“Huh? What are you talking about? I came over to learn some stunts!” Jeongguk feigns a hurt expression.

“That tent in your pants says otherwise, you fucking pervert,” Jimin shoots back as he turns to you to make sure that you’re okay. But your eyes are drawn to the front of his pants, and you gasp in mortification, embarrassment heating up your cheeks as you glance around to see if anyone else has noticed.

Jeongguk glances down at the front of his jeans, and Park Jimin is right. He’s a little taken aback by his erection, not even realising it until Park Jimin decides to be a fucker and expose him, but he’s not ashamed of it one bit. He catches you looking at the tent in his pants with an adorable blush on your cheeks, and Jeongguk is amused, considering that you’ve already seen his dick a million times, held it, sucked it, and fucked it too.

He makes sure to maintain eye contact with you with a smirk. “It’s not my fault the girls on this team are so smoking hot,” he grins and winks at you. “Nice ass, by the way.”

*

The lobby of your building is too damn hot— Jeongguk’s been waiting here ever since the showcase ended just so he can catch you alone. His erection is painfully persistent; and considering that he doesn’t really want to have to jerk one off himself like he’s been doing for the past few weeks, he has to settle on tucking it out of sight.

He catches a glimpse of your slightly sweaty, deep in thought face as you walk towards the lobby.

“Got rid of it so fast?” You say with a pointed look at his crotch.

“No, I tucked it under my waistband, it’s such a neat trick— wanna see?” He shoots you a cocky little smirk, lifting his polo shirt just a tad to reveal the hint of tanned abdomen, but you roll your eyes and turn your head the other way. “C’mon baby, are you mad at me?”

Jeongguk doesn’t really do this pet name thing, but clearly he can’t control himself around you. It just doesn’t feel right to call you something as impersonal as babe, and he likes the way baby sounds. He takes it upon himself to invade your personal space by sliding both arms around your waist, burying his nose into the crook of your neck, secretly elated when you don’t push him away. You smell nice, and the feeling of your bare skin under his hands makes him want to hold you like this forever.

“No.”

“Babe, I know girls well enough to know that’s a complete lie.”

“I’m sure you do.” You shoot back at him with a glare, slapping his hands away when the lift arrives. Jeongguk knows he has to up his game if he wants to cum inside you today, but more than that he just can’t stand the feeling of not touching you and having his hands on you when you’re this close to him. You look a little tired and worn out, and he absently wonders if you’ve been sleeping well lately. 

He steps in after you and dives to press the button for your floor before you can do it yourself. The feel of your ass has him thirsting for more than just hasty groping, but Jeongguk’s just in a good mood because he’s managed to one up Park Jimin today, and he sidles up close in a backhug that allows him to encircle your waist with both hands. Fuck, he loves touching you like this, hands around your petite waist and he wants to help you bounce up and down his cock just like this. “Are you mad at me about today? Or is it the video?”

“Why would I be mad about the video? It’s not like we’re exclusive or anything, get over yourself Jeon.” You step out of the lift and rummage in your bag for your keys, but he follows a step behind you even as you unlock your door and drop your bag on the floor. Your voice is the perfect blend of apathy and indifference, and Jeongguk has to admit that it’s dampening his spirits a little. “Can you get out? I’m about to strip out of this fucking uniform and I don’t think I can wait a second longer.”

“For what it counts, no one sucks dick like you do,” Jeongguk meant to reassure you that Solbin has nothing on you, but it comes out wrong and he nearly wants to punch himself, so he makes up for it by changing the subject to you instead. “Besides, it’s not like you didn’t do anything with Park either. Fucking in a taxi— now there’s somewhere even I haven’t gone.” He forces a chuckle to hide the fact that he’s actually brimming with jealousy at the thought of Park Jimin laying those disgusting little hands on you.

“For once, I win,” you smirk half-heartedly at him, and Jeongguk’s heart nearly stops. Did you fuck him? The thought of it makes him want to bend you over the nearest surface and pound his cock into you repeatedly, cumming as many times as humanly possible inside to coat your pussy with him, and then pull out and cum on every single place on your body where Park Jimin has touched you.

He watches you cross the room to grab some spare clothes before heading to the attached bathroom and shutting the door behind you. Jeongguk’s cock throbs at the idea of marking you with his cum. “I’m coming in.”

It’s a statement, not a question, and luckily heaven seems to be on his side since the bathroom door doesn’t have a lock. Jeongguk steps inside and rids his clothes, tossing them on the floor to join yours, and then pushes back the curtain to see your wet and naked body.

You look fucking delicious, and he has to consciously stop himself from palming his cock as he watches how the water dribbles over your tits, tits that he’s missed after fucking around with so many fake ones, only to skim over your soft belly and over the hidden apex of your thighs that he so desperately wants to taste on his tongue again. 

“I didn’t say you could join.” 

“Let me make it up to you babe,” is all he says as he reaches for some shampoo and starts to lather your hair. This feels so domestic and platonic, and Jeongguk would never be caught dead in such a scene like this, but all he can think of now is how soft your hair feels between his fingers as he moves slowly to give you a scalp massage. He can feel your body relax against him as he makes sure to get every last strand, piling it atop your head before reaching for the showerhead to wash the shampoo off. How the fuck do girls wash their hair every day when there’s so much of it?

Once your hair is clean, Jeongguk reaches for the body soap, and once it hits his palm, he recognises it as the fruity, tangy scent that he gets whenever he kisses your neck or buries his face into your skin. “So this is what you use to smell so damn good every time,” he comments as he massages the soap into your soft skin, skimming over your shoulders and down your back. You lean into his touch, and he chuckles softly at how adorable you look with your eyes scrunched closed like this, and you turn around to crash your lips onto his.

Jeongguk cheers internally when you give in first, then allows his hands to wander to your waist and pull you in closer. He slides his mouth to your neck to suck a few bruises into your skin to mark you as his, not in his most preferred way, but it will do for now. His hands cup your breasts and massage the soap into your skin, and fuck, he’s missed the way real tits feel.

He can’t help but crouch down to suckle on your nipple, laving his tongue over the hard peak as he tweaks the other one hard to satisfy his hunger for your breasts after having been deprived for so long. Jeongguk swears you have the best tits, he doesn’t need huge C or D cups as long as he has yours that bounce so fucking deliciously, and fit so perfectly in his hands and in his mouth, and—

A painful whine escapes from your lips, and Jeongguk freezes, pausing with his teeth marks still on your nipple. 

“J—just, they’re a little sore,” you murmur under the warm spray of the shower head, and Jeongguk feels a little guilty for being over enthusiastic, so he kisses an apology onto each breast tenderly and moves on to your shoulder instead.

The shock of the cold water on his erection threatens to dampen it, so he pulls away and grabs a towel to dry you off, concentrating on getting you dry so that you don’t catch a cold. When he reaches your breasts, he takes care to pat gently so that he doesn’t hurt you, even though he’s really dying to take a nipple into his mouth and just suck.

When you’re all dry again, Jeongguk gives himself a mental pat on the back and just about stops himself from doing something stupid like kissing you on the forehead. You reach out for his cock to stroke him, thumb sliding over his slick precum covered head, and the feeling of your small hand on his length nearly makes him lose his load right there. Jeongguk grabs you around the waist- his favourite part to hold you by because it makes him feel so manly and strong- and carries you to the bed, placing you down gently. His eyes trail over every inch of your smooth skin as he kisses his way down your torso, regrettably skipping over your tender breasts- next time, Kook- until he’s at the juncture of your thighs. Jeongguk is beyond delighted to see that you’re already dripping for him, and he just wants to bury his face in your pussy to lick every inch of you.

“Jeongguk-ah, not today, just hurry.” He’s almost regretful when you stop him from eating your pussy like he wants to, but then you reach for his dick and stroke him roughly, and fuck, Jeongguk has to bite down on his lip to keep from cumming all over your hand. Your touch feels so much better than his own, and he shifts himself to face you as you move back on the bed. He places his hands on your knees to spread them, to reveal the prize he’s been waiting for all this time, and Jeongguk nearly groans at the sight of your pussy, creaming and wet for him.

He’s a little worried that he might lose his load after the first stroke as he places a hand on his base to guide himself to your slit, eyes on the prize. But then you stop him with a hand on his chest, and he nearly has a heart attack, thinking that you’re asking him to stop and get the fuck out.

“D-do you have a condom by any chance?”

Your question eases his anxiety a little, and he strokes his twitching cock while still staring at your wet pussy. You’re the only girl that he doesn’t use a condom with, and the thought of not being able to feel your bare walls around him has him more than a little disappointed. “Why? Do we need one? I thought—”

“J-just in case.” He brings his eyes up to meet yours, searching your face intently. “In case that girl gave you something.” Jeongguk doesn’t know why you’re so uneasy, but it’s obvious in the way that your voice is trembling a little.

 “It’s not because you fucked Park Jimin right?” He asks jokingly, but his eyes are serious and he doesn’t give you a chance to look away. You shake your head and a load is eased off his chest, although later when he recalls the way he worded his question, he realises that it’s not clear if you meant: no, you didn’t fuck Park Jimin, or no, you didn’t fuck Park Jimin without a condom. “You’re still on the pill right?”

“Yeah, but… I just felt… weird for a bit. I’m sorry, I know you hate wearing one but-” 

“It’s okay, baby,” Jeongguk smiles, and then he really does kiss your forehead, but he blames the lack of blood in his brain for that stupid, stupid impulse. It’s true, he likes to feel you bare around his cock, you wet and sliding on him is the best feeling in the world, but he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable either. But contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t carry condoms around nowadays because the feeling of your bare pussy on him has him ruined for any other girls. “I’ll wear one if you want me to, but the problem is… I don’t have one right now.” 

Your eyes dart over to Sejong’s side of the room. “I-I think Sejong has some. Just in that drawer by the bed over there.”

Jeongguk’s heart leaps in his chest with a renewed hope, and he doesn’t hesitate as he crosses the room in long strides and retrieves a foil wrapped package that he tears it open with his teeth even before he reaches the bed. “I haven’t worn one of these in ages,” he comments as he slips it on, and the rubbery material almost feels foreign on his length as he gives himself a few practice strokes before lining himself up at your entrance.

On hindsight, Jeongguk is thankful that you made him wear a condom, because the reduced friction is actually on his side this time, and he doesn’t blow his load on his first stroke. He has to control his breathing as he feels your walls close in around him, and the feeling of bottoming out in you nearly has his eyes rolling back in his head because of how warm you feel, and how you’re squeezing around his length. 

“Fuck, you’re tighter than usual,” he says as he draws his hips back to give a few experimental thrusts, and your walls cling on tight to his length, making it hard for him to move. Jeongguk places a thumb on your clit to rub in circles because he knows that penetration doesn’t really do anything for you as it does for him, and you respond by wrapping your legs around his waist and drawing him in closer. 

Jeongguk takes it as a sign to go harder, and he lets himself pound his hips into you, letting out satisfying slaps of skin. Your nails against his back only urge him on to go harder, and he relishes every single moan that comes from your lips.

“Jeongguk, ah fuck, that feels so good, you’re so good,” you can only breathlessly moan as he slides his hands under your knees to bring them together so that you fit even tighter around his cock. He loves the way you look, so submissive and small under him as his hands wrap around each thigh to press them into your body.

“Fuck, I love hearing you whine when I’m pounding that pussy,” Jeongguk grunts when your walls close in around him. “So wet, so tight, so- fucking- good.” He punctuates each word with a thrust that bathes your nerves in an ocean of ecstasy, and you actually sob and gasp for air.

“Harder, Jeongguk, fuck me harder,” you plead with him to quench that aching desire in your core. He obliges by hooking both legs over his shoulder and leaning his weight onto his palms, taking advantage of your hyper flexibility as a cheerleader to nearly fold you in half as he continues to pound his cock in and out. He changes the motion of his hips from thrusting to just simply rutting inside you, unwilling to let his cock leave your pussy for even a second longer than necessary. 

By now you’re incoherent and reduced to sobs and whines, which are music to his ears as your walls pulse around him, and once more Jeongguk is thankful for the condom because your walls seem intent on milking him dry. You’re thrashing and almost sobbing with how intense your orgasm is, and he slows his movements to deep, hard thrusts to help prolong your pleasure. He pushes your legs from his shoulder, planting a kiss on your dainty ankle as he continues to slide his length in and out, going for depth rather than speed now. Jeongguk’s almost certain that he can feel your cervix as he bottoms out, and all he wants to do is hold the tip of his cock to your cervix and just paint it white with his cum.

You place your small fingers on the edge of his abdomen to stop him. “Wait, Jeongguk, ouch, not so hard. Let me top.” He obliges and pulls out to sit on the edge of the bed with his legs spread wide, and you slide off the bed to stand between them. Reaching back to stroke his cock a few times, you bend down to wrap your lips around him, condom and all, and fuck, that’s hot. You turn around and Jeongguk can’t help but palm your ass as you sit down on his cock, and the aftershocks of your orgasm has you even tighter than usual.

You control the speed with your hands on his thighs as you sink down onto his length slowly, and Jeongguk has his hands on your waist to push you down further because he just wants to feel your pussy around him again. But you resist with your arms tensed against his thighs, teasing him, and he wishes he could just pound you into the bed instead. When you do reach the base of his cock, Jeongguk has to distract himself with his mouth on your collarbone, because he might actually blow his load now, even with the damn condom.

Pushing against his thighs, you start to move up and down his cock ever so slowly, making sure to clench your walls against him tightly every time you go down. After a while Jeongguk gets tired of letting you set the pace, so he grips your waist tightly and moves you up and down his cock a little faster, while giving small thrusts with his hips that are still pinned under your weight.

“Jeongguk, ah-, you’re so big,” you pant as he drills into you slowly, and Jeongguk feels like his ego inflates a million times with your praise. His length is swollen inside you from having been aroused for so long, and his thickness elicits continuous gasps from your lips as he continues to bounce you up and down.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come soon, but I want you to come one more time baby,” he whispers into your neck. He increases his speed slightly, but doesn’t pull out as much so that he can remain within your warm walls for as long as possible. 

“I-I don’t think I can.” You’re quivering in his arms, and Jeongguk tightens his grip around your waist to keep you anchored down onto his lap even as he thrusts deep. “Jeongguk, oh, I can’t again-”

“You can, baby just relax and let me do it,” he reaches for your clit and twists it between slender fingers, and you nearly buck your hips off his lap in response. “That’s it, you like it when I fuck you like this right?” 

“Yes, please more,” you gasp when his fingers pause over your clit.

“Will you promise to be a good girl and not let other men touch what’s mine?” Jeongguk gives a particularly hard thrust that hits a little too deep, and you whine in pain. He promises himself that the next time you let him inside you without a condom, this is where he’ll be when he cums inside you, as deep as possible to erase any other man that came before him.

“Y-yes, I’m yours, just yours,” you grasp his thigh to push yourself off his length slightly as he smirks into your skin with satisfaction at your answer. “Not so deep, Jeongguk, ow.” 

“I know you can take it baby, are you close?” Jeongguk refuses to let his length leave that spot, but he soothes you with increased efforts on your clit. He loves the mess you’re making all over his thighs and even onto your sheets underneath. “Looks like someone’s ready to cum, hmm? She’s dripping all over my cock, what a nasty girl you are.”

And that’s all it takes for you to tighten around him and your second orgasm, thighs trembling as you whimper in his arms. Your walls close in around him, and Jeongguk allows himself the guilty pleasure of imagining that he’s fucking you bare as he cums, the thought of cumming inside you eliciting a moan from him. His length is pulsing inside you, and the heady pleasure of finally reaching his orgasm nearly makes him black out for as second, and he has to inhale the scent of your hair to try and regain his strength for a moment.

He collapses into your pillow with his arms still tight around you, holding you close as you both come down from your high. A little guilty for going so hard on you, he presses his lips behind your ear in apology. “You’re more sensitive today than usual, you okay?”

“Mhm.” Jeongguk’s worry is eased, and he starts to close his eyes, content to just doze off with the comfort of still being inside you.

“Kook, condom,” you whine, and he gets the hint, pulling out of your sore pussy and carefully taking off the condom.

It feels awkward to be striding across your room naked whilst tying off the used condom, and all he wants to do is get back into bed surrounded by your warmth again. He stops short in his tracks when he sees that you’ve drawn the covers over yourself on the bed.

“Um, not to be rude but Sejong will be back soon and…” Jeongguk reaches to scratch his neck awkwardly, wanting nothing more than to hide in mortification. Right, you and him don’t do after sex cuddles, it’s his own fucking rule that he implemented at the very start of this... thing. He feels exposed and vulnerable, and not just in the physical sense, as he stands in front of your bed awkwardly, but he finally turns away in resignation to get his clothes from the bathroom.

He misses your warmth already. 

*

Visual communications is the only class that you share with him, and it is also his only incentive to show up every week. Without you there’s no one to keep him awake and even though it pains him to admit it, you’re pretty much the highlight of his day.

The lecturer is moving painfully slowly through her 100 slide powerpoint, and Jeongguk can already feel a yawn creeping up on him even though he made sure to get coffee that morning. The sole reason why he even took this class in the first place was because of you; fought so hard to get the last damn slot just so he can see your face every single week without having to make up some lame excuse that you always don’t buy.

10.58am [jungcock]: wru?? y r u not in class 11.01am [jungcock]: prof asked about her fave student like twice already 11.03am [jungcock]: hello?? 11.03am [jungcock]: did u die 11.04am [jungcock]: did i go too hard on u that last time 11.05am [jungcock]: jk but r u ok??

Your favourite matcha latte is getting cold next to his own Americano, and Jeongguk can’t stop wondering if something happened to you, since you never miss classes unless it’s something really serious. Just his luck really, his first time getting you a drink and you don’t show up for class. Jeongguk has a whole excuse planned out too— the barista messed up his order, and thought he was really good looking so his drink was on the house-]— complete with side profile smirk that makes girls swoon and drop their panties.

He notices with an uncomfortable lump in his throat that he just double texted- wait, multiple texted- you, and resists the urge to send something to diffuse the tension, like a dick pic maybe. It’s only thanks to the divine intervention of the lecturer clearing her throat at his blatant inattention that he doesn’t.

11.10am [you]: m fine just stomach flu

Your brief reply somehow manages to both set him at ease and on edge at the same time, and Jeongguk wonders if he should go and visit you, but after the last time when you practically chased him out after sex— that’s his thing— his confidence is at an all-time low. 

Maybe he can pull out an excuse from his ass and just thick skin his way through it. With a sigh, he dumps your matcha latte in the trash as the lecturer dismisses the crowd.

*

The rest of the day passes in a blur— why the fuck did he think it was a good idea to put two three hour lectures back to back— and before long Jeongguk finds himself standing in front of a florist shop scratching his neck awkwardly.

Would it be too much to get you flowers? It’s not like you’re in the hospital or anything; fuck, did he just curse you? Touch wood, but there’s no fucking wood around— 

Get it together Kook.

The shop assistant spares him a glance like she’s about to ask him what the occasion is, and that’s when Jeon Jeongguk chickens the fuck out and runs away. It’s his most embarrassing moment in life, second to the moment where he wanted to fucking cuddle with you, but thank goodness there were no third party witnesses to that. 

After beating himself up over what to get you, he creeps back to the florist’s with shame adorned on his cheeks and worrying his bottom lip hesitantly. Contrary to popular belief, Jeongguk does have some common sense and he figures getting you food would be risky since you might just throw up all over him.

The same shop assistant recognises him with an all-knowing smile, like she’s witnessed this scene all too many times before. Jeongguk resists the urge to run out of the shop again, instead crossing his arms over his middle. 

“D-do you have anything that says: ‘I’m sorry you’re sick and I hope you get better soon but I’m definitely not here because I was worried about you’?” He blurts out so fast that he’s worried that the assistant didn’t hear him and he’d have do something horrible like repeat himself.

But thankfully the assistant only shoots him a wry grin and looks around the shop thoughtfully. She heads over to a small shelf of potted plants and selects one of the succulents, a tiny little cactus no bigger than his palm that’s adorned with a bright yellow flower on top.

“This is a cactus succulent, it’s a representation of endurance and warmth even while going through hard times. It’s like a sign of encouragement from the giver to the receiver.” She brings the small pot to the counter as she explains, and smiles reassuringly at Jeongguk’s raised eyebrow. “Don’t worry, it’s completely platonic, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Thank fuck.

“I’ll take it,” Jeongguk reaches for his wallet in his back pocket to pay. “C-could you wrap it up please? It’s a gift,” he murmurs while busying himself with the suddenly arduous task of counting out the right amount of money.

* 

Jeon Jeongguk is shaking. 

He’d never figure he’d be such a fucking coward, and over nothing too. He’ll just drop by to make sure you’re not dead, put the plant casually on your desk and leave. No funny stuff, no sappy words or anything.

He’s even got his whole speech planned out. 

“What are you doing here?” You’d ask with a confused look on your face.

“Just wanted to make sure you’re not dead, or else I’d lose a fucking great fuck buddy,” he would say in reply, running his fingers through his hair oh-so-casually.

Maybe not that last part.

Anyway, the assistant had done a great job at wrapping the pot up in transparent gift wrap, and Jeongguk has to admit that the tiny cactus is pretty darn cute. He’s never even fucking set foot in a florist’s before— flowers aren’t his thing, too romantic and they die on you anyway, so what’s the point?

Once more he wonders why he’s going to such lengths just for you. 

He reaches your unit and pauses outside with a deep breath to steel himself as he pauses to knock, but then decides against it. If you were sick he didn’t want to make you get out of bed to get the door, so he prays that the door is somehow unlocked as he reaches for the doorknob and twists it.

Only to see a pink fuckhead situated on your bed, thankfully not with you in it.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Jeongguk grits out, his grip tightening on the plant before he has to remind himself not to crush it. 

The sight of Park Jimin on your bed ignites a slick burn of rage within his chest, sitting on that bed where he’d fucked you not a week ago, looking as if he belonged there, that fucking asshole. Did he come over to cuddle with you since you were sick? And did you actually let him, judging by how crumpled the sheets look? Actually, where the fuck are you?

The bathroom door opens suddenly, and you emerge from its depths with tearstained cheeks and messy hair, sweatpants hastily tied at your waist and—

A piercing pain cuts through him— shards of the broken cacti pot cutting into his palm— as he spots the pregnancy test in your hand.

a/n: please check my updates page regarding ig3! thank you for reading <3

[kilnkin]

@nickatnightwalker 

aud asks what nicks issue is, gets a very thorough and well cited answer

kilnkin that was really only one time whats your issue lol

nickatnightwalker you were obnoxious about wynn, then tried to fight me, and are generally unpleasant to be around i dont appreciate being blamed for other peoples dead love lives

kilnkin that was one time like months ago though?? like nice to know im still on ur radar but its weird that you keep bringing it up lmao

nickatnightwalker i dont see how thats weird it was annoying and youre still annoying thats all there is to it

kilnkin uh ok i guess

nickatnightwalker it didnt stop being annoying just because time passed and besides that it obviously showed youre the kinda person who's gonna get their ass in a twist at anyone who lands anyone youre even vaguely interested in and given my track record vs what i can see of yours im sure we'll be at that impasse again

kilnkin uhh

nickatnightwalker you asked just remember that you asked

kilnkin yeahh just uh. wasnt aware you had all this in the front of your mind every time you saw my url apparently

nickatnightwalker not true usually i dont think about it at all

kilnkin i mean work on your poker face then bc you seem to have a lot more feelings about this than me haha do you still like think about her or whatever cause shes gone so thats kinda weird

nickatnightwalker i mean actually i dont forget about people the moment theyre not in front of me because i have object permanence

kilnkin thats not what i meant but thanks for the hostility

nickatnightwalker np ifyoure asking if im hung up on her may i remind you she ditched me like 15 minutes in for damian

kilnkin i know thats why i dont get it

kilnkin like why you give so much of a shit about one stupid conversation lol

nickatnightwalker it was annoying youre like all the broni friendzonis who got pissed i talked to the girls they stalked

kilnkin lots of things are annoying? even my skins not that thin ummm ok so its a personal issue got it

nickatnightwalker no i agree lots of things are annoying i feel as strongly about you as i do that one chair in the back of the herbology level 1 class room that tilts from side to side

kilnkin thats what i mean why do you bring it up if you dont care

nickatnightwalker let he who does not bitch about annoying shit cast the first stone

kilnkin like youre just trying to embarrass me on the dash and wont let me have a fun conversation like would you pull this with some dude who chews his gum too loud what???

nickatnightwalker im not tryin to embarrass you on the dash im encouraging you to have your fun conversations elsewhere

kilnkin see thats so WEIRD what the fuck

nickatnightwalker i really dont see how it's weird that i dont particularly want to interact with you considering the only times we ever have it's been a pain in the ass and there's a real solid chance it'll continue to be

kilnkin if you keep shutting it down then yeah no duh

kilnkin i was making a joke with that fun hater thing people make jokes..just ignore it instead of being a buzzkill

nickatnightwalker and i should have known that was a joke because....youve always been so charming to meto me.

kilnkin ok this isnt going anywhere can you just

nickatnightwalker as opposed to me thinking that you just got a new hate on for me because idk maybe i talked to a girl you like in the dining hall

kilnkin stop that im not a possessive weirdo ok i didnt even like her that much and i dont like anyone else and i dont need you speculating on it leave me alone and try not to bring up what a weird pathetic person i am in public maybe if you can manage that?

nickatnightwalker yeah sure just dont get freaky at me for having decent social skills

kilnkin ohh is projecting your personal shit onto strangers considered decent social skills?? see this is the shit they dont teach you in the woods thanks (:

nickatnightwalker i could tell, seeing as you projected your failure to land a girl right onto me

nickatnightwalker tell you what hit me up when you can honestly in your heart of hearts tell me that if wynn were still here and i was still seeing her you wouldnt hate me for it look into your fedora'd, broni friendzoni'd soul and tell me you could act like a decent person to me if i was dating wynn then we can talk

kilnkin jesus hit me up when you stop being a freak

nickatnightwalker maybe i am a freak but at least i dont get possessive over people who arent mine

kilnkin oook. she flirted with plenty of people and i never said shit to them you know that right? i asked if you wanted to fight bc everyone was doing it why not and it was dumb but i dont care that much sorry to burst your bubble

kilnkin if she came back from i dunno, expulsion or soul searching or whatever the fuck shes doing and still wanted to go on the date she asked me for, ok if not eh? is that good enough for you to stop hounding me

nickatnightwalker you did try to drag me at the dance

kilnkin you were making an idiot out of yourself no way im the only one who said something and you were being a shit date so thats on you

nickatnightwalker i just felt myself physically care less how was i a shit date for letting her go dance with someone else you know what would be shitty

nickatnightwalker finding damian later and giving him crap about her because thats annoying, you see

kilnkin umm i didnt do that

kilnkin dont act like you dont give a shit if youre still hung up on this btw

nickatnightwalker oh my god i only give a shit when you get annoying it's possible to have feelings that arent at the forefront of your mind 24/7 because most of us have extra storage space up top for that kind of thing what you did do is start bitching at me for being a shitty date for letting her do what she wanted to do, which, dont kid yourself, didnt come from concern for her, it was just about you being jealous and weird not to mention you didnt go find damian and ride his dick about it later, which really adds a nice element of cowardice to the whole thing, only ragging on the short guy and not the 6f t fitness model

kilnkin ive gotten in his face for other shit lmao

nickatnightwalker eh thats fair

kilnkin listen do you want me to be a freak about her or not im getting mixed messages

nickatnightwalker no generally speaking id say no but as far as being a freak goes if you could at least be consistent then you could pretend it was some weird chivalry thing and not just you taking out your frustrations on the guy who COULDNT drain your blood

kilnkin ok seriously i have literally taken out my frustrations on him in the middle of the woods at night mere seconds after he sucked his fangs back into his gums you can ask

nickatnightwalker i have questions about almost every part of that sentence

kilnkin ask him then point is im not scared of him im not a coward and im not a jealous freak i was just being dumb one time months ago called mistakes ever heard of them

nickatnightwalker no for papa would beat us lest we become tolerant of our imperfections

kilnkin that joke is definitely funnier the second  time congrats (:

nickatnightwalker you cant blame me for not pulling my heart and soul into this conversation it's just kind of tiring on all fronts

kilnkin i gave you so many outs dude dont pull that

nickatnightwalker yeah those outs would require me pretending i can now suddenly tolerate you

kilnkin or just leaving when i said something dismissive. im not that into this tbh a lot of people dont like me i guess i can deal

nickatnightwalker oh see yeah about that i dont like being dismissed like youre my pre-k teacher, it's kinda grating

kilnkin talking to me..is grating. leaving is. also grating. sucks to be you i guess i made my point i guess so im not gonna reply again you can have the last word if you want it, sorry ive so grievously offended you. bye

[ravenvsfox]

Can you make a couples post about Kevin and thea please make it up as you go along if you have to, please. I love your writing and ideas.

thank you lovely, i’ll try my best bc they’re so good

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

I think kevin is an ~idiot and he’d probably say something thoughtless about Thea’s form 

I also think that he canonically abandoned her without a single fucking word when he left the ravens and that a lot of her anger after that comes from hurt

I think they’re both pretty damaged and susceptible to hurt tbh, but kevin doesn’t seem to understand when he’s hurting people

who is emotionally stronger?

proooooobs thea I mean. she braved the nest and came out the other side with her head on straight. she did not for a second let kevin fuckin day get to her. she’s still soft on the inside, and exy’s become kind of a coping mechanism in a lot of ways, but she’s less obviously fucked up by the moriyamas then kevin is (simply bc she was less important to them yikes)

who is physically stronger?

THEA BOYYYYY this isn’t even up for debate!!!!! neil describes her as being built like a tank, she’s an unstoppable fucking powerhouse on the court, we’re talking serena williams’ body type, just like.. immovable and gorgeous. kevin is so shaken he’s in love w her muscles..... he wants to be knocked to the fucking floor by her....... she fires a ball into his helmet so hard that it cracks and he pops a boner

who is more likely to break a bone? 

hilarious im gonna say the boy w the infamously broken hand 

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

good question I have no fucking clue they can both be dicks if the situation calls for it

I’m going to say that thea knows what to say to give kevin mad cold shoulder and she can smoke him out in a SECOND if he’s being a dick like she knows when to ignore him and when to back him into a corner

but kevin tends to be unnecessarily rude more often. he’s mean bc he knows that it gets results. thea does not tolerate him bringing this attitude home w him

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

neither? bitch?? if both of them believe they’re right there are gonna be exactly zero (0) sorry’s

I do think they’re probably softer w each other when they’re one on one and I’d be willing to bet that their arguments end with kevin explaining things to death and thea listening and narrowing her eyes a lot and holding the front of his shirt bc she’s mad but she still wants contact and they kiss and make up w out actually ever saying the words

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

I think in the nest you’ve gotta take care of each other, so they both learn to sit the other down and hold gentle hands to the injured person’s sternum to keep them down, and they sit and wrap gauze. it’s v intimate. they probably did it for the first time when thea was playing for the ravens and kevin had yet to debut on the raven line, and there was enough of an age difference between them that it was pretty innocent. thea was overworked and hit for her trouble and kevin came up bc he was terribly impressed by her and a little bit in love and he dabbed at her cuts like the clumsy 17 year old that he was

who is in constant need of comfort? 

it’s mutual bc their pasts are mutual, but I’m willing to bet that it’s kevin who wakes up sweating and crying, & thea knows how to give enough distance and turn on the lights so he remembers where he’s not. He was in shackles for longer. he still kinda hates himself sometimes. thea strokes the chess piece on his cheek and tells him that he checked riko straight to hell

who gets more jealous? 

shit man idk?? neither of them really have room for anything in their lives other than exy and each other (and reluctant connection w teammates/family) so there’s not a lot of jealousy fodder. and they’re never gonna be jealous of the other person caring more about exy than them bc like. that’s understood. if I had to guess I might say thea’s jealous of the world falling all over themselves to get a glimpse at Kevin Day you know

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

I hate to say either bc they’re a really good match and I feel like they’d bounce back really easily, but it’s possible that they fade away from each other when they’re getting their footing on their respective teams. thea can feel herself getting distracted and she pulls out. kevin shows up like???? >:( and they make up on the spot

who will propose? 

probably kevin bc he does the math and realizes that thea is the best thing that’s ever happened to him in his LIFE. he’s probably 10 shots of vodka deep and he looks up suddenly like :O wait a second she’s perfect??? how do I keep her? and nicky has to be like dude.. have u heard of marriage..... it’s nifty and it’s been legal for you straight people for a bajillion years

who has the most difficult parents?

i know literally nothing about thea’s parents but considering jean’s family was a shitty mess that got caught up in the moriyamas I’m assuming most or all of the ravens are in similar situations?? they play for.... the mafia.....

so unless they’re saints, they’re definitely not better than david wymack can I get an amen

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

im trying to picture them holding hands........ I think they would in a like... come here! hurry ur ass up! kind of way like thea spends all her time dragging kevin’s oblivious ass around

who comes up for the other all the time? 

considering neither of them mentioned each other or their relationship for like two books........ idk

i bet you in an easier world it would be kevin though. (my gf is beautiful and strong. she could obliterate u w one swing of her racquet. she wears pretty pastels on her face. i want to kiss her)

who hogs the blankets? 

don’t tell but kevin’s obsessed w feeling coddled and warm and I’m willing to bet that he hogs both the blankets and the woman until thea is also bundled up. i hope they learn to cuddle. I bet they’re rlly bad at it at first but it gets easier and more constant over time

who gets more sad? 

again like. I know v little about thea’s background but if she’s in the nest she’s in deep shit. the both of them were assets that had their lives manipulated out of their own hands. kevin’s wound is open and thea’s is poorly sewn up and neither of them are doctors tbh it takes time and professional help until thea can take her old jersey number off of her necklace and replace it with a chess piece pendant (3 guesses which one)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

they’re reeeally bad at this tbh both of them are like ‘uhhhh... don’t cry.. please..rlly.. stop’ spoilers it’s bc they’ve never been properly comforted themselves :))))

BUT as time goes on kevin starts clumsily recreating things the foxes have said to him and it’s really sweet, and thea can be v mellow when they’re alone together, so she’ll take his bad hand and massage the tension out of it, and smooth his hair back and tell him what an idiot he’s being but like.. fondly

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

nope

who is more streetwise?

I still know nothing about thea but I’m willing to bet that it’s her bc she’s been out in the world for longer?? idk where she was before evermore but she’s already building a life for herself after it when we meet her. kevin’s fresh out of it. he’s messed up but he was messed up indoors under lock and key. all he has now is a little experience from columbia and from watching andrew

who is more wise?

tough to say? I get the feeling that thea knows better than kevin? idky she just..... knows

he’s oblivious at best tbh he knows obscure facts and exy exy exy. thea does too but she also has that practicality and survival baked into her. she seems sharp to me

who’s the shyest? 

not really shy so much as unwilling to show mmmmm anything about themselves until they’re in deep. Thea comes in and orders neil out of the room the first time she meets him ! like she has every right to be pissed but she doesn’t seem stressed that she’ll be disobeyed or come across as rude. I think she’s familiar with being listened to. kev has that sickly media personality and a seven layer cake of repression underneath that so..

pick ur poison. they’re both mostly bravado anyway

who boasts about the other more? 

again, in a perfect world, kevin’s bragging about thea

but as is thea gets all these questions about kevin in interviews and she’s like “hi we’re here to talk about me” but if they ask the right question she’ll get this sly smile and drop them some subliminal messaging type hints about their relationship and move on

kevin’s more sputtery and obvious about thea. she’s his weakness

who sits on who’s lap?

I bet it’s both bc kevin’s obsessed w thea’s thighs on either side of his lap & her weight on top of him and thea likes how pliant and focused kevin gets when he’s looking down at her

[spiritcc]

221B Baker Street

The second series on my marathon list starts now, the motherfuckin Sherlock Holmes from 2013, hoho yeah. 

If you didn’t know, I’m kinda one from the team that has subtitled the entire show, yeah, hi. So yeah, this is kinda big for me, like watching my child perform in a school play. Hell ya ur doin great son. See, dat my boi in the third row screeching on his violin. I’m a proud mama.  

Since a lot of peeps, apparently, are still watching, I have to warn everybody that these posts of mine are going to be really spoiler infested, not just in the context of an episode alone, but for the entire show. As you know, pretty much everything in this series is connected, foreshadowed, referenced and so forth, and I’m still looking for all the details. 

So hell yeah, let’s see what you have, the first episode

For me personally, this is my second to last favorite episode, so I’m not exactly thrilled about this one. If you want to know, so far this is my top:

Halifax

Rock paper scissors

Baskerville Hound

Musgrave Ritual

Mistresses of Lord Maulbrey

Clowns 

221b Baker Street

Holmes’ Last Case

Let’s see how that’s going or not going to change after this marathon, since after all, believe it or not, I haven’t seen the series since somewhere 2014 when we finished subbing it. 

So yeah, during my very first watch, things were kinda messy. Nobody knew what the show was even about back then, nobody knew what to expect, everything was very weird and different and confusing, so I wasn’t particularly excited, but I couldn’t really claim it was as bad as originally thought. Today, things are a bit better, but then again, I’m still not quite thrilled. 

The vibe that get from this episode now is that everything was basically a lot of accidents and coincidences happening together. Here’s Holmes that just happened to be one the same street as Watson when the faithful murder occurred.

Here’s Moriarty (told ya you have to take my spoiler warning seriously), and from what I’ve finally gathered about this case, he had literally nothing to do with it. 

He works as a cabman, that’s fair, he’s setting up stuff for the second episode, but what about this entire case? One dude blackmailing his bae, another dude steals the idea from him. The victim sends a thief after another dude, the original dude sends a hitman after the thief dude. In the end, the thief was victim’s, the hitman was the original dude’s, the original dude had his own thing to do. Where does Moriarty come in here? He doesn’t. The entire brawl was nothing but a personal war between different people, and as a scheme, too small for Moriarty to orchestrate. Logically, it means that this is the only episode where Moriarty was literally minding his own innocent business when he just happened to give a lift to some murderous asshole that landed him in some fucky mess, thanks Holmes for clearing it up. Fucking literally, his presence doesn’t add up to anything, the man was honestly doing nothing wrong and then he got his ass jailed. That is so fucking hilarious if that’s how it went. The fact that Moriarty had to go through a lot even without that is pretty funny by itself, but in the second episode, that was intentional. Here, some ape ass just loaded him into an unexpected fucktruck of shit and escaped. Jesus christ.

That was another, quite unfortunate, coincidence, as now Moriarty got to know Holmes and Watson in their full glory before the show goes down. He proposed Watson his “wife” as a servant - a throwaway courtesy or something more suspicious? No idea.

I was a bit annoyed with Holmes at first, today I notice him the most

Petrenko and Panin have about an equal match of tumblr appreciation between themselves, so I’ve got nothing to complain about, they’re both great and reprise their roles fantastically. If you’re appalled by Holmes, then Watson will win your heart. If you, for some weird reason, do not notice Watson, you’ll surely notice Holmes. Great tandem. 

Lestrade was yet to show himself, but hey, here’s Gregson in the background. And jeez, that’s a cup of tea waiting for Lestrade. It wasn’t just the sixth episode when that came in place, he was always there doing the same embarrassing job. 

These are kinda the little details I’m hunting for. 

Holmes  👌👀👌👀 

Like honestly, you do notice Watson there more at first, but then, after getting to know Petrenko and Holmes more, he’s really giving everything he has. They’re honestly such good actors

The casual feel of this pic is bone chilling 

Foreshadowing details part 2, Watson’s pipes that will become Sherlock’s pipes when he sets up his museum in the last episode 

The plot so far is a bit sporadic, that’s the general mood of the show as it never bothers to elaborate on everything, but I honestly never minded that at all. I don’t know about everyone else, but I always tend to make my own conclusions and move on, since I believe the show leaves enough to let the audience think of things for themselves. Am I wrong? Is it just its laziness? I never thought so. The series never ever drew your attention to the fact that Moriarty’s been there all along - not a single mention of his cabman persona will ever appear. If you don’t rewatch the episodes and pay attention, nobody will for you. And I love it. You know, I think of it as a some kind of elaborate thing. You don’t need exposition, the show assumes you’re not stupid. The show expects you to follow the same path as the heroes, and you don’t get any special treatment since you’re the almighty viewer. All the clues, all the foreshadowing, exposition and the details - it’s all been left in the show already, it’s up to you to notice it all, gather it together and make your own conclusions. Do your own little deductions. 

That’s how I personally think of it and I love it to death. No matter the opinion, the rewatchability goes up to eleven with this approach. 

The show already establishes things about the characters, like Watson’s injuries. As it’s the first episode, nobody so far expects them to stay and everyone will be wrong. But so far, his concussion kicked in and it will not cease till the end of the show.

Like yeah, duh, he’s a soldier and has injuries. Imagine this, they don’t magically vanish after the initial exposition. That kind of shit stays and affects your life. 

Again, Kavun has noticed a very interesting thing about the original stories: ACD’s characters literally do not change throughout the entire journey. They are static, and 27 years old Holmes in the very first story is exactly the same as 60 something Holmes in the very last story. ACD never gave a fuck and that’s no rocket science, but Kavun noticed this anyway, and approached his characters from Dostroevky’s point of view. And that’s so fucking great and you can already see it there - the simple reality the characters are facing with their original backgrounds. 

Weirdo 

Again, foreshadowing part whatever, Mycroft’s face was barely a secret: the pic had identical dudes on it, Watson literally did the face gesture when he saw it. 

I started asking myself the question of why exactly would Watson be interested in Holmes. I thought that it was explained in his journals, so I thought I had this one solved, since you know, considering their constant brawls, it’s kinda surprising he’s still tolerating this shit. But I see it even clearer now, the man is indeed fascinating. He’s very weird, very quirky, piss poor and lives like a pig, but whatever goes in his head is absolutely amazing. Of course that captures Watson’s interests. Of course his adventures draw Watson in. Let’s see what happens next and why everything would escalate to the title of “My Friend Sherlock Holmes”. 

Nerd

Panin did know boxing, so even the real life contrast was obvious: the professional and the man who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing

That was like the first genuinely enjoyable scene, Holmes learning the art of being a punchbag. You’ve no idea how useful it will be across the series. Somebody protect this man.

Literally not surviving this. The rest of the show was just his dying fantasy as his pitiful soul left his pathetic body into the shadow realm. rip in peace basil rathbone

This scene

I keep telling this and I’m going to repeat myself again, this lady came into SH world way back in My Dearly Beloved Detective and there she is now again. Welcome back or something.   

Fanservice time 

Now, this buff Putin guy’s got some real smooth voice, and I think only because he was actually voiced over. But the dude’s quite enjoyable

Now, Holmes recreating the murder scene is the moment where the episode redeems itself, in my opinion - it was the part where I realised that huh, I can’t really keep accusing it of being bad anymore. Black Peter is apparently a case that many love, but not many adapt on the screen, so that’s nice. The fight was staged very well, Holmes being so into it is incredibly enjoyable to watch, and his narration is just icing on the cake. Plus the music, of course. Followed by a double “no thnx”.  

Watson’s faces go through the roof when they play this entire show out with Roger, the man had just experienced every human emotion in a span of a minute and survived. 

I kinda enjoy that Roger guy because he’s so ugly and ridiculous. And everyone keeps calling him handsome. I could get it in that warning letter because it was Roger blowing his fucking self there, but Holmes? I guess well, his plank is quite low after whatever he sees in the mirror. 

A little tribute to the Soviet series, of course

The style of the frame plus the fireplace glass, the latter was taken straight from the original props of the Soviet series, no joke. 

Of course it’s only a tribute, so the style breaks pretty quickly. As one reviewer said, the Soviet series create a sense of intimacy with those backs-to-the-audience shots, as if we’re listening to a private conversation we were not supposed to peek on. The new series switches to their faces fast, it’s not this type of show. 

I like Holmes’ comment at the end, indeed, when things become personal, nobody cares about social reprimand. Please give the lady her necklace back tho, you ain’t gon wear it anyway. 

Mrs. Hudson, finally.

Her style is on point. I want to see the reaction of people who had no idea she is that young in this series, because for us it’s been no secret ever since the show was announced. If you’d seen the trailer, not even Watson’s proposal was a spoiler anymore, so yeah, for me here, her personality was the only new thing to discover from this scene. Not a bad thing per se, but you know, sometimes I wish I knew nothing about everything so I’d be properly surprised. 

So yeah, the first episode, nothing to comment on, really. I’ve talked a lot about misc stuff, almost nothing about the actual episode, because yeah, not much. The first episodes do tend to be quite expendable because they feature exposition that usually fades as soon as it’s introduced, like Watson’s background and so forth. This is not the case here, of course, but so far, nobody would’ve known. But everything is already here and all the main players have made an appearance one way or the other, so here we go.

The new series. 

[dyke-yoonji]

i have written more fanfic in this month than i have in like half of january. Is Salma coming back to fanfic writing? stay tuned you might never know what hit you. Also this post is inspired by this post and this one and  @quitemagicalbane  and @bisexualmbane love for this brot3… actually for the entire heterophobicmalec squad.

set in an timeline in which victor forgot to go catch jace bcause he was too busy admiring himself for being the best good looking clave representitive the Clave ever sent shoutout to the Clave

“I am so glad you are awake, Alec.” said Izzy, the moment Jace let go of his parabatai. She wrapped her arms around her brother for a few seconds, burying her face in his neck. “You scared me to death.”

Alec smiled at her. “I thought you said you were going to kill me.” He reminded her.

“I am working up the anger, you asshole.” Answered his sister, still not letting go of him.

“Well, I have the anger right here.” Stepped in Jace, shaking his head. “What in the hell possessed you to trust Jocelyn? After all she did-” he spared a look at Clary, who was still holding Magnus’ face and not meeting his eyes. “I mean…”

The red haired shrugged, finally looking up. “It’s fine. I am perfectly aware of how much my mother fucked up. I get it.”

“She did what she thought was right.” Told her Magnus, although he didn’t seem particular confident in his words or in favour of Jocelyn in any way himself. “And on that front, I owe Raj an apology.”

Izzy was making faces at him from behind Alec, shaking her head repeatedly, but it was too late. And Magnus had no clue of what she was doing. Alec frowned at him. “Why? What happened to Raj?”

Now, even Jace was making abort mission signs with his hands, but Magnus had honestly no clue of what was going on. “Oh, me and Izzy knocked him unconscious earlier and-”

“YOU DID WHAT.” Ah, here was the Alec they all loved and missed. He was staring at the entire room like it was filled with complete idiots. “What do you mean, you knocked Raj unconscious.”

Magnus frowned. “He threatened to-”

Alec shook his head, interrupting him. “Raj is all talk. You know that Izzy! He would have never done anything he said he was going to do.”

Izzy crossed her arms over her chest. “He was being rude to Magnus! That was uncalled for.”

Alec sniffed. “Raj has been nothing but supportive of me and Magnus since the beginning. He adores you almost more than he tolerates me. Everyday he’s like ‘Did you know Magnus did this? And he did that? I can’t believe you got to kiss him, you have all the luck’.” He rolled his eyes. “And Aline is even worse.”

Jace looked at him in surprise, while Clary stared in confusion. “Aline? Penhallow? You still talk to her?”

Izzy smirked. “Of course he does. Honestly, I’m surprised she didn’t fly over here the day of the wedding.” She glanced at her brother half apologetically. “I heard the phone call.”

Jace turned to explain to Clary. “Alec was best friends with Aline and Raj back when we were in Idris at the Academy. Shadowhunters Academy.”

“Alec had friends?”

The boy glared at her, picking up his phone. “So funny, Fray.” He took a look at his phone and grimaced. “Oh god. Raj told Aline on the groupchat.”

Jace arched his eyesbrows at the words groupchat, but Izzy was quick to snatch the phone away from her brother. “Izzy!” he called, but the girl was on the opposite side of the room, hiding behind Magnus with the phone in her hands.

“Heterophobicmalecfans changed their name to Alec you got some explaining to do.” She looked at her brother. “Heterophobic?”

“Heterophobia is real and alive. Straight people are dangerous.” He gave Clary a look, and the girl rolled her eyes.

“I’m a lesbian.”

Izzy smiled at her. “Nice.” Then she scrolled back to the texts.

GF Raj: Can you believe the High Warlock of Brooklyn spent the entire day in Alec’s room.

GF Aline: wtf raj, he’s unconscious

GF Raj: that doesn’t make him any less good looking. I think its love

GF Aline: I thought aldetree was ur man

GF Raj: I do have my eye on him

GF Aline: how u gon say u love him then

GF Raj: bicc I got two eyes

GF Aline: then admire this,,,, young aldertree

GF Raj: how do you straight

GF Aline: @alec wouldn’t know

GF Raj: @alec wake up ur boyfriend knocked me out and I wanna say thank you

GF Aline: if he dies I’ll kill him. He still hasn’t signed my copy of the #MalecKissVideo

GF Raj: wtf how did you get it maryse had them all deleted????

GF Aline: Izzy is cool like that, we should add her to the chat

GF Raj: you remember the Jace Dissertation? And the Lucian Graymark Discourse? The Dildo Argument??? Do you think Alec Lightwood, Salt Mine and dick enthusiast would ever let his sister read that

Izzy gave Alec a look. “The Dildo Argument?”

Jace pointed at himself. “You had a dissertation about me?”

“A discourse on my dad?” asked Clary, horrified.

Alec hid his face in his hands, blushing. “Aline found the video Luuke did before becoming a cop? The videos for Old Spice? There was a lot of things we had to discuss about that. Can I have my phone- DON’T YOU DARE SCROLL UP!”

GF Raj: I’d lick whipped cream out of Magnus’ butthole tbh

GF Alec: wtf Raj, that’s my boyfriend

GF Raj: uhm, have you defined the relationship yet? Didn’t think so

GF Alec: I called dibs first

GF Aline: @raj same

GF Alec: if anyone is going to lick cream out of Magnus’ butthole ITS GOING TO BE ME

GF Raj: jfc Alec y u so nasty

GF Aline: always thinking about buttholes and whipped cream

GF Raj: so gay

GF Alec: yall so homophobic

GF Aline: how

GF Alec: cause im gay and youre being rude to me

GF Aline: he kissed Magnus Bane once

GF Raj: and he became gay

GF Raj: WOW Magnus Bane tru icon

GF Alec: remember when aldertree and raj kissed and it broke the shadow world news network- oh wait

GF Aline: lmao drag his ass

GF Raj: remember when Lydia Branwell doesn’t even kno your name tho @aline

GF Aline: this is bullying

GF Alec: not even joking but if on my first date with m I try to-

Izzy dropped the phone so fast Magnus thought it had burned her. Magnus picked it up and read the last sentence before giving him back the phone, to an horrified Alec who was hiding. “If you did what you wrote, let’s just say I would not object.”

Clary was just staring at them mildly interested. “How do you apply to become a member of the chat?”