#does this imply megatron is baby...

[velvetwyrme]

W-would that make the cons the Deceptipillars?

Most flying bugs have a kinda caterpillar or worm state before getting to their wing stage of life.

theres a joke to be made here about caterpillar treads...

[raileurta]

Predadad

You know the common trope of dragons stealing away princesses; It got me thinking about what if we apply that to Predaking? It's already implied in tfp canon that predacons inspired dragon mythos so why not take it a step further? Why would Predaking want to take a "princess" you might ask? It's quite simple actually, he wants a sparkling. In my au all predacons are born as femmes with most transitioning into mechs. So when a predocon couldn't have a sparkling they would just take a human girl to baby. The reason it's usually a princess is because they're much more high profile and covered in pretty objects like gold or vibrant fabrics.

Predaking who is very lonely wants a family, more specifically a sparkling. The only femmes he knows are that one blue autobot who's way too old and that human girl. He could kidnap a random human but he really doesn't feel like explaining anything plus she seems pretty interesting. He likes her spunk and fearlessness.

So one day while the Autobots and the human are looking for some energon Predaking shows up in his dragon glory. He flies at them and instead of attacking them he (gently) scoops up Miko in his claws and flies away. Everybody is freaking out because omg Miko was just kidnapped. What does Megatron want with Miko???

Let it be clear that the overlord had no idea Predaking was planning this and only found out about the human when he walked on Miko showering. Which promptly got him an optic full of shampoo.

Anyways Predaking took her to hi- their nest. Miko was scared/angry for a minute but she soon realized he ment her no harm. She quickly then didn't care anymore about being kidnapped anymore because holy ao3 she's interacting with a Cybertronian dragon.

Predaking did his research and got all the human essentials so Miko is good for a while. The girl can't really escape with Predaking constantly following her and she can't use her phone to contact the bots. So guess she's stuck here for now, so in the meantime she'll hangout with her new dad, do some recon, and of course mess the decipticons as much as possible.

[mrmeepsmadmind]

Please i would love to hear all of the headcannons on Soundblaster i beg we need more of this silly guy

PUTTING U IN MY POCKET AND CHERISHING U FOREVER FOR ASKING ME THIS. i LOOOVEEE YAPPPP!!!!!!!

MY SOUNDBLASTER HEADCANONS / GEN THOUGHTS AND STUFF !!!!!! Warning for dark, mature topics like g*re mention / h*micide ‼️‼️. Not rlly explored but mentioned. No s*xual stuff tho. Still tho, disclaimer, he's an awful cold mech ... who tortures u and twerks to stuck in the middle with you while doing it

best way i can describe how i view Soundblaster is an orca born & raised at SeaWorId who ended up accidentally kiIIing a trainer while playing as a baby and was then separated from his mother, pod, home, everything he once knew.. & luckily released as untrainable into the wild,

but he wishes he was kiIIed instead

he yearns for family, deep down, but can't. have one .

he views his old family as weak & miserable, stuck behind glass to perform for others until they die, & he hates them for not at least trying to fight for him when they took him away. The fact that they couldn't do anything but didn't at least Try just to Attempt . . makes it even worse.

at least he is free to swim the entire ocean as his exercise. But his past follows him everywhere. he is excluded from pods for his nature being even too unorthodox for them, his fin forever drooped. other animals naturally fear him. & he misses his mom ( soundwave ), even though he hates her. He hates her because he misses her .

In my headcanon, SB was made to be a bot with No sentimental attachments, specifically to cassettes, created by Shockwave at the order of megatron. He was made with the purpose of being a bot who could send soldiers off to die without a blink. He was made to be ruthless for the decepticon cause, no one else.

Soundwave Hates SB. The mere idea of SB implies there to be a flaw within Soundwave that caused Shockwave, a mech whose intelligence is renowned, to decide such a severe action as cloning was necessary to fix that. Out of the big three decepticons, soundwave is the bot who deals with empathy the most, although that bar is VERYYYY low considering his comparisons are shockwave and starscream (who is a much better contender than shock in the empathy battle, but star is more involved with his self than outward empathy for others at this point in the war ). Soundwave deals with mentality and communication. Despite his monotone, he does feel. He tunes it out for the cause but thats because he values the cause over the value of others' thoughts, he has to, that's his Job. But tuning out his cassettes' thoughts .... it's. That's when it gets difficult. Soundwave values shockwave for his contributions for the cause with his intellectual gifts and curses. Shockwave making Soundblaster is like if your husband made The Perfect Robot Wife right in front of you and expected you to be perfectly fine with it because thats how you've HAD to be your whole life. If it's better for the cause, than it's better for everyone and everything, ultimately. So just do what you're Assigned to do, soundwave, and simply tune it Out.

SB didn't hate soundwave at the beginning.

i think the whole FAILED clone experiment should be more explored in SB. not just as a 'lol look at sb! Soundwave would NEVER do that! That's so funny!!' like that's cute of course but.. we can also go even further to 'oh my Primus. Soundwave would Never go as FAR to do this . 'and soundblaster just grins with his visor and says ' that's why i'm the Upgrade . ' he's the opposite in some extensions, but similar in some, and that's what makes others so wary, and it's not just from similar appearances, bcs i think that's something soundblaster can try to do something about and has

I think of Soundblaster as WaveWave's fucked up child who fucking hates them, can't stop being compared to them, and can't stop missing them no matter how hard he tries. He's discarded and pretends like he doesn't care, but he's so. Empty. No matter how things he forces into his new cassettes, hobbies he switches to, careers, accents, teams, bodies and parts he keeps in his tapedeck, he's just. Empty in the end.

He's programmed to be ultimately unfeeling. Everything he builds is necessary for his own entertainment, and everything he burns down is necessary for his apathetic functioning, while still desperately trying to wring out at least SOME joy out of it, but always ultimately being unable thanks to shockwave.

SB is intelligent, not to shockwave's capabilities, but he tries. He has shockwave's ability to push and abuse boundaries for the sake of expanding his interest in knowledge, and he has soundwave's observations. He collects information and then He capitalizes on it. HE capitalizes. HE is the cause here, though, not decepticons or autobots, shanix, not even to rule something because it might Seem fun at first .. but then that nagging restlessness tugs him again and he needs to make another cruel move simply for the sake of Moving, of thinking he Can feel. If others, populations, companies, markets, etc, just so happen to be lucky enough to momentarily benefit off that or unlucky enough to be tortured from it, then so be it. He doesn't care. And he's not even saying that to seem stronger to everyone because he Doesn't care (look out for, wonder, worry, valuing feelings, etc. He doesn't view anyone as anything but slight distractions to keep his processor jumping instead of just running) for Anyone, No matter how hard he tries, he always ends up abandoning everyone in the end because abandonment is all he knows. Shockwave and soundwave differ only bcs they tie with his creation. Shockwave is akin to Primus to him, only because SB doesn't care for Primus, but he Does find himself pondering Shockwave, HIS creator because Shockwave made HIM, ties to HIM, tethered to HIM. soundwave is similar. SB hates that, he hates being tethered to anything or anybot. It's just not his programming. He needs distractions so he doesn't have to think about his programming being permanent for at least a few seconds, but it always reminds him it's Never leaving in the end, and part of him doesn't want it to because if he doesn't feel nothing then he'll feel Scared, and he can't tell which is worse

Personal attributes

His voice is booming, dominating, and emphatic because he's learned how to mimic the right inflections, personality, pathology, etc to act alive just so he can remind you he's not in the end because it'll make the pain hit harder for you, & that's Much more Fun in his eyes. He can mimic accents fluently, and sometimes just changes them rapid fire for some shake up. He'll go from a cowboy to Italian in a split for no rhyme or reason, he simply Wanted to. When he Speaks, you Listen.

He views jobs as the same throwaway thing, as he views everything. He goes from a mercenary with a band of bots who admire him for his confident callousness until he burns it all to the ground to explore a new avenue, while success sometimes happens to follow bcs people can't help but worship how indifferently strong he is. Mercenary, pirate, black market, thief, torturer, executioner, decepticon brief ally, autobot brief ally, energon disperser, he wants to do it all because he needs to because it's Different and he Needs differences, not to be quirky for others, but to fool himself into thinking that just for one moment.. he could change

But he never does ! He's stuck in a programmed cycle of apathy and he's dragging others down with him to distract him from the constant spiral

Like how skybound soundwave loves sealife and whales, SB loves dolphins. He loved orcas for their color scheme, but then he researched and further fell in love, trying to model himself into something separate from soundwave without even knowing he's still stuck being eerily similar but still eerily different, not enough to be lovingly regaled the same, nor stand out as a bot truly Different and his own.

Orcas and soundblaster are very similar in many ways. Orcas can even mimic humans.

Soundblaster has STRONG mental abilities. Hypnosis is his favorite. Unlike soundwave, he doesn't care who he hurts with it, he revels in it. Until he's bored. Soundblaster loves to lure unsuspecting bots of all factions by using others' voices and their thoughts to fool everyone, like a siren, but unlike a siren, he's not trying to feed on drunken sailors for survival, he just felt like playing that day . He loves displaying graphic images on his visor or any screen, whether that be a victim's loved one dying from footage he's saved of him torturing them, or just showing them some of his favorite g*re footage because he felt like sharing that day, he just thinks it'll be a neat trick for him to do. His screens often display disturbing, uncomfortable images, with horrifying sounds to match as well

However, SB has weaker sound abilities than soundwave, either from improper training, care, or maybe even an inability to fully replicate what the original can do. His speakers are distorted and sometimes slowed or skipping. Dancing queen slowed reverb YouTube song lol. Happy music is usually not as affected by his radio quality, aside from the occasional audial splitting sparks, so he likes listening to that while torturing.

Back to the sound, his soundwave are weaker. At close distances they're stronger, but far away they echo out and surround instead of always focusing. To help him out, he has an orca-like tail that can extend from his spinal strut to help direct the waves better. But hypnosis is just so much more fun.

SB loves earth, he thinks there's just so many opportunities to have some joy before getting bored! Mimicking a mother calling for her child to lure it away for dissection. Mimicking a baby crying for its mother. Mimicking a puppy and displaying footage of a poor puppy trapped in his car with the windows up and the heat outside is excruciating so a good Samaritan can try breaking the window only to be pulled right in. So much fun!!! Sometimes, he'll even steal a singer's skin and pretend to be them so his hypnosis can easily reach bigger crowds with less effort on his part. Think the movie smile with how he invades them and their effects.

I like to think his human skin disguise's fc looks like st chroma. Just for fun.

Soundwave being able to turn others into his new cassettes is something soundblaster loves to do, and most of the time he forgets he even did it. He loves melding machine and man. He has a dog mech instead of a cat mech, with a human face melted on it. A mix of human teeth and fangs. It used to be a - eh, he doesn't remember. Maybe it was a little girl, at one point. He thinks he got the inspiration from an anime he watched. He likes anime.

His tapedeck is fucking abhorrent. He keeps his skinsuits in there. His cassettes strain and shake, but he always hypnotizes them obedient .

He has a mouth, but the mask doesn't cover directly on it. The mouth is where his chin would be, and from a direct angle, can't be seen until he tilts his helm high up and can even snap it back so the face is dangling on the other side. The mouth has various teeth of various kinds (human, monster, mech, alien, etc) inside, and eyes are everywhere, blinking gums, bloodshot cavern, even on the teeth themselves, since his helm is snapped so far behind him. They don't blink, which is why the tongue is so long, helping to coat them with moisture

Unknown if he has an actual face behind his mask or not.

I think he should have a mini friendship / pls don't kill me sb with bee like he did in the Netflix tf bcs bee is someone whose thoughts DO NOT and cannot match his actual actions bcs theyre selfish and kinda rude and bee cannot allow himself to be Imperfect or the autobot cause and optimus's reputation would be ruined. HES supposed to be their shining light, their hope. If their hope is awful, then what does that say about the cause. I think soundwave and bee are very interesting together in general, but that's another talk another day. But yeah, i think bee feels terrible for sb but also is terrified of him, but bee can't just abandon him . Not like everyone else. Bee CANT be like everyone else, he HAS to better. ...don't tell anyone he thinks that tho- he just wants it implied a little- he just has to be perfect not bcs hes secretly selfish and mean but um! U guys just kinda suck! OOPS, UM. HE MEANS. he'll just distract them by being cute or smthing... & meanwhile soundblaster is watching like 'you're mentally ill. ...I Like That. '

This is how soundblaster talks and views bee, LOL. He just keeps him alive bcs hes entertained by his trauma that bee pretends he doesn't have, which makes it all the more entertaining. I just think the dynamic would be rlly funny, not even in a shipping sense, but a I just think they would be funny sense.

Bee: i mean .. i can't help but feel bad for shockwave.. he used to be a senator.. a Good senator.. he was so kind.. empurata- it's really awful.. he looks so different now.. it must have been so painfu-

SB: WOMP WOMP :P !

Bee:

Bumblebee: ...did you just say Womp Womp to Empurata-

LIKE. i think soundblaster is so fucked up and can be even more fucked up if they just explored him more to really distinguish him but also keep that soundwave association haunting him bcs that mech is Never getting rid of it. I think even if he gets damaged and tries getting repairs, his spark turns down any parts that Don't resemble soundwave's, hence why he has skinsuits to slither into to make himself feel like he can finally relieve himself of soundwave's shadow. Hypnosis doesnt work on him, not even his own. All the mirrors are immediately broken wherever he goes. He's an ill cretin who is also very funny to me. He loves to dance and sing while torturing and is very good at it! But he's also. Awful.

He can't feel, but he can feel some sort of peculiar tie to his cassettes, mainly so he can know their location Wherever they go. He likes to purposefully dispatch his army into losing battles with terrible odds so he can feel their cries shudder from within his spark and that low hidden mouth Grins. And if they end up somehow surviving and winning, then he guesses that's good too, or whatever :/

Bumblebee would be the perfect we have to do good straight man to soundblaster with how compassionate he is.. and soundblaster would be perfect in demonstrating bee's desperation to be liked when bee mistakes soundblaster's tolerance of bee being a good distraction for fondness.. like. Tf could do so much more with sb than just a clone.. bee would be a good big character to help get others familiar with SB !!! LIKE! UGH! THERES JUST SO MUCH POTENTIAL WITH SOUNDBLASTER!!!!! but also transformers is trying to appeal to a younger audience to get new tf fans and keep it alive so i don't think we'll get the soundblaster depth i dream of... if we get more of him at all.. but still.. a m&m can Dream ..

if the name Mr. Blonde from reservoir dogs rings any bells, that's who i associate with Soundblaster as well as orcas to help understand his personality better, to conclude my yap !!!

ANYWAYS!!!! THANK YOU FOR LISTENING!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS WEIRD THING SM!!! SILLY GUY!!!! MY EMO WIFE!!!! WE NEED SO MUCH MORE OF THIS SILLY GUYYY URGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! URE SO RIGHT! PLS ANON I LOVE U FOR ASKING ME THIS! SRRY THIS IS SO LONG! I THINK IMIGHTVE FORGOTTEN SOME THINGS BUT YEA HERES MY YAP FOR NOW !!!

[ao3feed-skystar]

Life Always Finds A Way (It's That Way Or The Highway)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fN2wgjI by cactuswitharaygun It has been a long time since they had newbuilds from a Vector - so, when the Aerialbots and the Stunticons arrive, most Mechs fail to realize that they have the Cybertronian equivalent of parental controls enabled. This - and the Decepticons' creative approach to problem-solving - leads to unexpected consequences such as mandatory interface education, shocking relationship reveals, long-awaited relationship upgrades, a sparkling baby boom, and the end of the Cybertronian civil war. That is, if Ratchet does not snap and glues EVERYONE to a medical berth first. Words: 4316, Chapters: 1/20, Language: English Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Autobots (Transformers), Decepticons (Transformers), Stunticons (Transformers), Aerialbots (Transformers), Dinobots (Transformers), Protectobots (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Jazz (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Megatron (Transformers), Soundwave (Transformers), Starscream (Transformers), Thundercracker (Transformers), Skywarp (Transformers) Relationships: Jetfire | Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers), Megatron/Soundwave (Transformers), Jazz/Prowl (Transformers), Elita One/Optimus Prime, Astrotrain/Blitzwing (Transformers), Hound/Mirage (Transformers), Skywarp & Starscream & Thundercracker (Transformers) Additional Tags: Implied Sexual Content, Secret Children, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Canon Compliant, Relationship Reveal, Sex Education, Cybertronian Biology (Transformers), Parenthood, Misunderstandings, Tags Are Hard, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Second Chances, Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, POV Multiple, POV Alternating read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/fN2wgjI

[numberonetribble]

Hello hello, just over here falling in love with Piston

https://www.tumblr.com/numberonetribble/773772000761118720/child-of-divorce-moment-bonus

This one gives me questions. How does Piston “fit into the timeline?”

Hello! I'm so glad you like Piston!!! 💖💖💖💖

Piston comes from my Last Mile Marker AU so with Earthspark I bend canon just a little bit! Piston is sparked somewhere near the end of season 1.

The Child of Divorce comic is actually set up for Part Two of my Earthspark comic seen here!

In this comic, it's somewhere after season 1 but before Prowl shows up. (Aftermath doesn't exist here) Bumblebee and Breakdown are living their domestic bliss life with their giant baby but it's not perfect. Breakdown is very open about going back to Cybertron, promising Piston they get to go back with him but Bumblebee doesn't want to leave. Piston won't leave without Bee, Breakdown won't leave without Piston.

Piston wants to be just like Breakdown and doesn't understand why Bee won't leave. They hear the arguments and the solution is very clear to them. Someone has to do something. But what? That's for Part 2!

Part 2 is almost done! It just made me really sad while I was working on it so I paused to do other things 🙃 Here is a teaser as proof!

(oh lordy he's RUNNING!!!!)

If you would like to read more about Bumblebee and Breakdown's relationship along with Piston's birth, I just updated my fic !

It Really Does Come At You Fast (16550 words) by birbwithbagpipes Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Transformers - All Media Types Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Breakdown/Bumblebee (Transformers) Characters: Bumblebee (Transformers), Breakdown (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Ambulon (Transformers), Megatron (Transformers), Optimus Prime Additional Tags: Established Relationship, Consensual Kink, Sticky Sexual Interfacing (Transformers), Sexual Roleplay, Explicit Sexual Content, Explicit Consent, Consensual Non-Consent, Safe Sane and Consensual, Domestic Bliss, Mech Preg (Transformers), Cowboy Hats, Transformer Sparklings, Mating Cycles/In Heat, fretting, Pregnancy, Valve Oral (Transformers), Valve Play (Transformers), Valve Fingering (Transformers), Valve Plugs (Transformers), Valve Dom (Transformers), Implied Potential Child Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mpreg | Male Pregnancy Summary: Bumblebee's pregnancy journey resulting in Piston.

[hallucinateonpaperspines]

This question is not important AT ALL but it’s going to keep me awake tonight fr. Do you think Starscream was serving cunt the MOMENT he was born with those killer ass heels he got, or did something stupid to his body when he was like equivalent of a teenager? OR are they just heels that he can take off?? Personally I just think it’s so funny to imagine a baby with stilettos waddle around but I wanna know your opinion fr fr. Anyways I hope you’re doing well!!!

-🍄

I love this question.

Based on some throwaway dialogue in RID (which does not exist in this Ba Sing Se because that show makes me cry in wasted opportunities) Bumblebee comments on Starscream's new bulkier design as something along the lines of "going back to his old frame-type" which implies that snatched waist and lanky limbed con originally would have looked similar to Skyquake and Dreadwing with actual armor and a lot more color/adornments.

Personally, I see two reasons for his changes;

A more aerodynamic design and a lighter frame could have helped with his flying prowess. Faster, more mobility, etc. Just further cementing himself as the elite flyer he's known for.

It was a way to seem less threatening to Megatron or maybe wiggle into King Con's more favorable side. Megatron, despite being heavily armored, is almost completely lacking in a paint job or any ornamentation other than the shoulder spikes. Perhaps Starscream, who from my understanding originates from a higher caste traditionally, sought to ender himself by mimicking the "fashion" statement. Removing anything superfluous from his frame in order to integrate to the traditionally low caste background Decepticons. And later, it might have been a way to make himself seem like a more frail physical threat to catch others off guard...

Ehem, background rambles aside, one thing I did notice was, that between the implied original frame and the one we see in Prime, both have the heels.

SO in my *not-really* professional opinion. The pencil-thin waist was the body argumentation, the heels came with him from the Allspark.

So baby Starscream waddling on heels is 100% canon to me (>▽<)

[melishade]

The angst never ends 🥲. To be perfectly honest I never imagined Optimus would survive the rumbling ever since that time when he made Megatron promise that he would look after Survey Corps in the event that he didn't make it out alive in the end. It was a very touching scene and the moment I read that part I went "Yep, he is going die stalling the rumbling as long as he can until his Autobot family arrives to save the day and I am going to cry like a fucking baby." I was very surprised to see him survive the chapter after all the red flags of death surrounding him lmao. I still cried like a baby while reading the endgame though, but at least it wasn't to the image of Hanji crying over Optimus' corpse.

There are still some chapters left, please don't make me eat my words, I beg. I feel like I dodged a bullet of angst aimed at my heart.

Despite all the red flags that I had towards Optimus' death, I had no real intentions of killing Optimus off. Optimus has died in almost every iteration of Transformers to the point where it's a cliche. Not to mention, Primus asking Armin and Mikasa to deliver a message to Optimus does imply that Optimus is going to survive. Eren just saw one of many infinite possibilities. And when he got control of the Founder from Primus, he basically decided to screw himself over and send those memories back in time. (I'll write that out in full another time. I just didn't have the room to fit it in any of the chapters.)

Besides that, that doesn't mean there isn't going to be angst. Optimus does survive, but he's going to have to live with the fact that he had to kill Eren in order to save the world, and he also has to live with the fact that half of humanity is dead! (Spoilers: the kill count is 50% of all humanity instead of 80%.) So there will still be ANGST!

[brandwhorestarscream]

In cyberverse jettwins au you mentioned that both megatron and slipstream can be the sires of the twins.

How do you imagine their relationship with these two?

I assume you're referring the singular post from the judge jettwins au, yeah?

Um. Well. Given that they weren't born until Starscream has already become The Judge and are half-quintesson abominations like their carrier... I honestly don't knowm it's very possible they'd also be hyper-destructive and bent on burning Cybertron to the ground right alongside their carrier.

But, let's say for arguments sake, that they aren't. That they're more or less normal babies, and something-something-progression-plot-yada-yada happens, and they manage to talk Starscream down and berid of the quintessons. At this point in time Slipstream is super dead, but lets just say she's not. Idk. Bludgeon didn't kill her. Whatever

If she's the sire, uh. Shell shock to the absolute MAX. She probably only slept with her commanding officer cuz he was in heat and she got her name drawn (lucky glitch). His trine were unavailable for one reason or another, so she got to spend like a decacycle fucking Starscream into next year and it was awesome, but it's not like they kept personal contact or anything. Their relationship was strictly professional. She's honestly completely frozen when it comes out that she sired those two little tentacle monster bitties.

She strikes me as the type to maybe have wanted to be a sire before the war, but that was a dream that was permanently tucked away on the backburner when it became clear that the combat wasn't going to end anytime soon. Now... Primus. She has such a weird mixture of feelings about it. The shock, obviously, but... weird excitement? Terror? Dread? An odd desire to be near them and peotect them but also kinda repulsed by them because they're half-alien quintesson abominations. Even she has no idea what feeling is most dominant, she's just so lost.

And Megatron... god. Cyberverse Megatron was so one dimensional. I loved him, don't get me wrong, he was a dramatic ass bitch, seeing him go from gladiator to revolutionary was cool, and his gay af dying-in-OP's-arms will ALWAYS be iconic, but... damn. I don't know what to do with him here. I don't even know if he and Starscream would have ever had a concensual sexual relationship. I hate throwing that out there, and I don't make that statement lightly. But like... all of Starscream's memories of Megatron, primsrily shown right before his major mental breakdown in season 2, were extremely negative. Full of pain and belittlement. Megatron didn't hesitate to literally beat Starscream to death after (what was implied to be) the first assassination attempt. If he's the sire, they very well could have been rape babies. And if that's the case... Megatron might be disgusted by their existence.

He probably never wanted children of his own, and having them with Starscream never would've been something he planned for (unless it was a plot to control his SIC, and we could entertain that possibility if you want). Seeing the two monstrous baby eldritch horrors suddenly just mitosis their way out of Judge Starscream's body is pretty gross, and he likely wouldn't even acknowledge or claim them as his own. He may even wanna put them down like he does their carrier 🤔

Anyway, I'm done spitballing. Those are my first thoughts

[blueikeproductions]

Yeah this sums up a lot of my problems with TFONE, even trying to go back to watch it recently I couldn’t finish it because I was becoming more put off by it.

TFONE is a movie made for hardcore fans that already get it, but also is toned down enough that casuals can get the general gist, but despite comments that some casuals did like it, the failed box office and poor streaming views suggests only hard core fans were getting the most out of it and were way too small to carry the film into a massive box office.

The original dumb fun insanity of the Bay films and the smash success of the similarly dumb fun Minecraft Movie, another aimed franchise that’s far more relevant at the moment than Transformers is, suggests audiences mostly seem to prefer cool/cute dumb fun movies when given the choice.

It’s why animation Stans can’t figure out why audiences preferred going to the Sing movies over what trendy animation thing was what THEY wanted to succeed at the time.

TF fans tend to overestimate how popular Transformers actually is. The series has always fluctuated with its most popular/successful non 80’s era being Beast Wars, the Unicron Trilogy (Armada specifically), the Bay trilogy, Animated, Prime (popular with fans, but not successful in ratings or sales, with production drama ultimately killing it), Rescue Bots (very popular with little kids) & RiD15 (popular with children, the intended audience, but somewhat reviled by Prime fans wanting more Prime) and now Skybound.

TFONE is an amalgamation of ideas in the largely unpopular with casuals IDW era and aspects of Aligned that are unpopular with fans. It focused too much on trying to make it believable Megatron and Optimus used to be friends, and while it’s the only modern thing that succeeds in this, it also feels somewhat to its detriment. If you’re having the football player named Megatron calling out your bull skrud backstory and how Prime and Megs don’t need to be friends in an ad for the film, you have completely failed in selling the film. (And I get in context it’s a gag but drawing attention to the unusual to casual fans idea Prime and Mega were bros would be a confusing turn off.)

A lot of the confusing world building can only be solved by individual personal headcanons, and if you have to fill in so many of the gaps yourself, then the story didn’t do a good job.

The Quintessons are a fairly obscure antagonistic faction from the 80’s cartoon, that Hasbro has sought to revive in the modern era but has yet to make them work. All of their appearances in modern material and toy sales are poorly received either due to changing the Quints too much or not doing anything interesting with them. The movie manages to do both, by making them too far removed from the 80’s designs, but not fully elaborating WHY the Quintessons are here at all. The Quints are only here for old head ‘member berries, and you could replace them with the cutesy Beanie Baby aliens from The Fairly Oddparents and nothing would change, the alien invaders attacking Cybertron are that interchangeable.

Skybound so far has succeeded by properly building up the Quintessons as a larger threat, something nothing else has been able to do for whatever reason.

The world building is pry what breaks this movie for me, along with Bumblebee being a partially insane chatterbox from solitary confinement. At no point does it make any sense why the Transformers live underground, with it implied it’s partly due to mining Energon but also implied the surface is too dangerous. Why is the surface dangerous? You’d think it’s because of the Quintessons, but the story doesn’t feel like it supports this very well. You’d kinda think there would be some sort of problem, like radiation that would short out Transformers in Robot Mode ala Beast Wars, because a thriving herd of deerbots and Starscream’s group surviving just fine rubs me the wrong way story wise. I get the point is Sentinel being a lying liar and to not over bloat the story, but surely there could’ve been some truth why they had to leave the surface. It’s clearly not the Quintessons, which the film implies they periodically come and go from Cybertron, to the point a Quint could just be beamed into Sentinel’s office to speak privately or they have it as a big scam where it looks like they’re trading junk with the Junkions but it’s secretly the Quintessons using a Junkion ship and a poorly disguised Sharkticon as a representative. That last part is from a TF fan perspective but my point stands.

I think tf one is a lot worse than the fandom is willing to admit and it makes me feel disappointed that people can't criticise it without being attacked .

I don't think it's a bad movie to introduce new people to the fandom or that it's the worst piece of media Hasbro has released. But it has many weak points that few talk about and the rest are blinded by the fact that we're getting new Transformers content.

Aside from the graphics (which is one of its redeeming qualities), it lacks depth in world-building. (Everything happens in Iacon (not counting the surface). What's 50 cycles in this continuity? How are transformers born that makes it so easy for Sentinel to take their cogs?? There's more examples, but these are the ones at the top of my head).

The characters are hardly fleshed out. Especially for Orion, it's weird that we don't really get a good explanation as to why he's the way he is or how his motivations came to be. And why is he so different to everyone else?? Surely not everyone is just happy to play along with the system?? We never got to know why Bee was in the sublevel 50 or how long he was down there. Elita could've been a much more appealing character if she was allowed to break from the angry and strong woman persona for longer than a few seconds. I have less complaints with D-16, but that's still a few things that bother me about his character. (This is more about personal taste, but I think the name "Megatron" has a lot less impact when Dee was more of a fanboy of Megatronus rather than someone who respected and aimed to be more like the old Prime. Imagine you kill the president and become the leader of an army and the first thing you do is change your name to one inspired by your celebrity crush. How can I take you seriously???)

The pacing was not the worst, but it could've been better. Thing after thing after thing— basically no breaks for you to process everything that happened. More quiet moments, pauses and suspense would've been nice.

The villain trope for Sentinel was a bit too cartoony for my taste. Evil guy whose motivation is power but is also a pathetic coward who bends his will to those stronger than him, and is defeated by the hero after his evil monologue exposing all his crimes gets recorded and forecasted for the whole world to see.

Not exactly what I would call an engaging and intimidating villain.

And speaking of Sentinel, how did he defeat the thirteen Primes that are supposed to be strong and almighty?? Sure, he was aided by the Quintessons, but surely it would've taken more than that?? It's like a case of telling instead of showing except they're showing without telling you how any of that is possible.

The movie was full of conveniences, too. Orion being known by the guards in the Hall of Records yet he was never arrested by them. They literally know how he looks and what his designation is??? Elita happens to be in the right place at the right time. What a coincidence. Bee knows a way out of sublevel 50 yet only could go out after all this time when Orion and Dee arrived? Why not. Gotta wait for the mc's. Bee has a recording from Alpha Trion that we have no idea how it even got there in the first place?? Alpha Trion somehow survived but not the rest of his siblings? The Royal Guard decides to help Orion because Elita is "scary"? That was one of my least favourite scenes because they could've come up with a much better reasoning. How remarkably good all these cogless bots happen to be at fighting? I'll take Orion's agility for his escapades. I'll take the strength for the long hours of work in a harsh environment with heavy compartment to carry. But you're telling me they actually know real combat moves when there's no reason for them to?? Unless Cybertronians come programmed with it (or their borrowed cogs provide them with those skills), I'm not buying it.

This and many more things could be said if we weren't afraid of admitting this film wasn't perfect. I really liked it because of the concept and the new ideas it brought with it, but that's why I'm sad the fandom doesn't do more than just settle for what we have.

I won't claim all my criticism is objective or that it's all correct (I haven't rewatched it recently to assure that I remember all the details), but that's why I invite to be more open to different opinions (even if they're negative), so we can expand on this idea the movie offers.

(I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors. I wrote this in a rush and I have no time to edit it)

*

[transfemstarscream]

you know what's really confusing? people that act like wasp in tfa is an innocent baby that did nothing wrong at all. dude was a fucking asshole, treated everyone like shit, and was willing to let bumblebee rot in a violently abusive jail while mocking him the whole time. I MEAN, OBVIOUSLY! obviously he didn't deserve anything that happened to him of course just for being a jackass, but how come he gets a pass but blackarachnia is irredeemable?

it's another case of "nuance doesn't exist in fandom"; wasp is either characterized as a completely harmless, whimpering "baby" or a full on abusive jackass on par with the decepticons because apparently his canon self—a massive bully who was horrifically tortured into insanity—isn't comprehendible to fans. he's unable to be sympathetic to people unless he's watered down to be more palpable, and people are unable to recognize that bad people are still people and bad people are still capable of being emotional, weak, and sympathetic.

i will say in a bit of defense for him: i don't think him being a bully is on par enough to call him a villain like blackarachnia is. is he still pathetic for bullying bumblebee? yes. he was an asshole and one with questionable actions on that point. but his main actions of "villainy" after he gets out of prison are mainly a root of his psychosis and "broken" mindset. both him and blackarachnia are similar—traumatized as a result of the circumstances that left them to be abandoned—but in wasp's case it's more relied on implied trauma and subtext but much more graphic psychologically than blackarachnia who suffered more physically (and emotionally, though she has much more..."of a grip" than wasp?). what he does in the show as a means to get back at bumblebee are bad, but then again the whole show sort of hammers in the fact that both bumblebee and wasp are not only victims of manipulation but are also both at fault. it's not a very easy and/or black-and-white situation. and that's good.

i agree with you on blackarachnia and double standards that deem her irredeemable in the eyes of misogynists weirdos, but i don't really think wasp and blackarachnia are all that comparable. wasp is something much more personal to a lot of people—a bully—and i am not a big fan of him myself. i think he's unpleasant for most of his duration and isn't likable just because he's sympathetic. but in blackarachnia's case, it's more so how unfairly she is judged and treated as irredeemable by the fandom, especially by the same people who in the same sentence voice their opinions on why shockwave, blitzwing, or even megatron are in anyway better than her. she gets a lot of nonsensical and outright misogynistic "criticism" ("she broke grimlock's heart"? come on) that a lot of female villains endure because the idea of a woman who cannot be perceived with the madonna-whore complex lens is inherently bad to fandom.

[elindae-writes]

During a fight, a beanie baby is accidentally destroyed and megatron has a full on funeral with all the effects for it and forces everyone, and i mean EVERYONE, to come pay mandatory respects.

"mandatory respects"

r.i.p.

this is a sequel to cheep: the sequel's debut in battle

PROXIMITY ALERT, PROXIMITY ALERT

All of the Autobots lift their helms at the sound of a robotic voice shouting the proximity alarm. Ratchet runs to his desk and frantically opens up the outside security cameras.

"Whaddya see?" Bulkhead asks. "Is it another jackrabbit?"

"Oh, hopefully not another one of those organic pests," Ratchet scoffs. He zooms in on a nearby mesa. "Wait. Wait. Oh, Primus. It is a pest."

The distant silhouettes of Megatron and the other Decepticons are clearly visibly gathered together not too far away on the other mesa.

"Autobots," Optimus rumbles, "I knew a day would come when our secret hideaway would be discovered and attacked. We will defend our base and Jasper to the best of our ability. We stood strong during many battles before--"

"He's Facebook livestreaming!" Bumblebee gasps.

Ratchet frowns and minimizes his Solitaire in order to reveal the stream on his computer. The Autobots all blink at the sight that greets them.

All, and I mean all, of the Decepticons are gathered around in a circle. The chat is spamming "F." They are all looking down at something out of frame on the ground below.

The camera is being held in the talons of Starscream. Everybody can tell it's him holding it because the tip of a blurry talon is in the camera corner.

Megatron steps forward. He is painted entirely in black. "my decepticons. today we grieve for this lost soldier of the Decepticon cause."

A tiny printed picture of a Beanie Baby is laid out on a pyre of logs, flowers, energon cubes, and bird seeds. Other Beanie Babies are ringed around it.

"Oh, Christ," Bumblebee beeps.

"cheep, my second-in-command, did not die in vain," Megatron sighs.

Ratchet throws his arms into the air. "What? What?! I thought Starscream was second-in-command?"

Arcee's jaw drops. "Screamer got replaced by a plush bird."

"No, no no, I saw this live." Bumblebee steps in. "The first Cheep was lost over Ohio, the one Starscream held at gunpoint."

Arcee sighs. "So they're grieving that Cheep?"

"This is Cheep: The Sequel we're grieving."

"Wha--"

Somber music begins playing. Breakdown is holding a speaker playing a sad song. He leans over and whispers to Knock Out.

"Babe. Who the hell is this funeral for?"

Knock Out shrugs. "Megatron's chick."

Megatron chokes back a sob. "she was so callously murdered by the cruel and vicious bird-hating optimus prime!"

All of the Autobots look behind themselves at Optimus. He holds both his servos up palms-out. "I did not lay a finger upon that plush bird."

Ratchet spins around. "Optimus," he scowls, "Be honest. Did you or did you not murder that Beanie Baby?"

"I have committed no such sin, old friend."

"Then why does Megatron think you did?!"

"I do not know. He thinks many things."

Bulkhead shuffles up. "Did you really kidnap Cheep?"

"I have kidnapped no Beanie Babies, Bulkhead," Optimus's voice rumbles.

Arcee pats Optimus down. "Whew. He's clear."

Ratchet slams both his fists agains the desk. "Damnit! Who took Megatron's creepy bird-pet-thing?! Someone did!"

Everybody looks at the floor.

"...Ratchet," Optimus says softly. "It is okay if you wanted the bird."

Ratchet gasps and stumbles back. The desk's contents fall everywhere. "To think that after all we've been through?! You dare a-accuse me of wanting in on Megatron's birdie play-pretend?"

"I just get the sense that you would appreciate an avian source of companionship--"

"It's not even a real fucking bird!"

"It is okay to admit that you like to imagine that it's real--"

"To think that I paused my Solitaire for this!" Ratchet rumbles. "Bumblebee?" Ratchet asks softly. "Did you--"

"I am innocent! I have an alibi!"

"Ohhhh?" Ratchet raises an orbital ridge. "And what is your alibi?"

"I was playing Solitaire against you! You think I want his stupid bird? He probably, I don't know, uh, sleeps with it or something!"

Bulkhead raises his servo. "He actually does. I saw him do so. Creepy as hell."

Broken sobs echo out of the computers as Megatron fires his fusion cannon at the pyre in his grief. "CHEEEEEEEEEEP"

Bulkhead clears his intake and then mumbles into the crook of his elbow. "Arcee looks kinda shifty."

She gasps. "'Shifty?!' Why would I want to kidnap Megatron's stupid bird in the first place?!"

Ratchet rolls his optics. "Jealousy. Pride--

"--what--"

"--envy, perhaps? Hmm."

"You think I'm envious of Megatron for having a Beanie Baby that I don't have?"

"Well, I dunno," Bulkhead shrugs. "I never said you were jealous of him for having a Beanie Baby that you don't. You said all that. Just now, in fact."

"Oh!" Arcee says. "You implied it!"

"Oh, sureeee, mhmm-hmmm," Bulkhead hums as he sips on his energon.

She scowls and points at Bulkhead's smug faceplate. "I did not kidnap that Beanie Baby! But I wish I did!"

Megatron's wavering voice echoes through the computer. "she lived! she died! now she shall be laid to rest!" Silence falls and the wind blows. Megatron then abruptly shatters the silence by suddenly lifting his voice in song. He begins gyrating.

Somebody on the mezzanine clears his throat. Fowler, June, and the children step into view.

Ratchet gasps. "Fowler! Does the U.S. government have Cheep?!"

He pinches the bridge of his nose. "No. Just. No."

"Do you have Cheep?!"

"No!"

"Damnit! I am sick of this stream, I am sick of Beanie Babies, and I am sick to my gut all because of Cheep!"

More crying echoes over the stream. "CHEEEEEEEEEEP"

"I don't have the bird," Fowler grits out.

"birddd thiefff" Bulkhead whispers.

Ratchet rolls his shoulders back. "Remove the children, June Darby. This is getting too intense. Wait. Jack, did you take Cheep?"

Jack stares blankly.

"Jack, Megatron might attack a small nation again if he does not find that bird!"

Jack smacks his lips and considers the situation. "what's a bird"

"Gah! Your son is guilty of bird thievery, June!"

June moves in front of Jack. "What?! He hasn't stolen any birds in so long now! It wasn't him! Jack, that's right, isn't it?"

His eyes glaze over.

Megatron's voice cries out again."CHEEPCHEEPCHEEPCHEEP"

"birddd thiefff" Bulkhead whispers again.

Optimus puts both his arms out. "Calm yourselves, Autobots. We have endured many troubles and trials and will survive this. We survived the death of Cybertron, Megatron's attempted undead invasion, the loss of Cliffjumper, the synth-en crisis, and we will. Survive. Cheep."

Megatron shakes his fist at the sky. "i know you are listening, prime! i bet you're cackling over seizing the life of a fine avian soldier! i will make you suffer for the loss of cheep! it is the only explanation as to why she vanished after i took her into battle with me. she was with me. then after our duel: she was gone"

Ratchet begins cackling.

Bulkhead clears his throat. "Uh. Does... does he not know that we're nearby?"

"Oh my Primus," Arcee gasps. "He's got no clue."

Ratchet snorts and closes out of his Solitaire. "Oh, this is getting good."

Bumblebee gasps. "Someone just died! Show some respects!"

"Wha--Bumblebee, it's a plushie!"

Megatron sighs. "i shall grieve for you, oh cheep--wait."

Something falls out of his armor.

It's Cheep.

"oh my god. holy shit." Megatron gasps. He clutches his chestplates. "i just lost you in my armor! cheep lives! cheep lives! everybody say it with me! cheep lives!"

A fake smile spreads across Starscream's faceplate. "Welcome back, Commander."

The new Cheep stares blankly.

All of the Decepticons minus Soundwave sing in unison as Megatron picks Cheep up and lifts her up high and proud above all their helms.

The faint chants of cheep lives! cheep lives! cheep lives! echoes through the thick walls of the Autobot base.

Ratchet begins screaming.

Optimus walks down a hall and slips into a side-room.

He sighs.

And then pulls the real Cheep out of his windshield.

"Thank Primus he has multiple Cheep plushies. This eighteen-wheeler will keep you safe."

Cheep stares blankly.

[woolydemon]

Tfa Megatron or Optimus? UwU

TFA Megatron thoughts

First impression

Idk actually. I think it was like :|.

i almost never pay attention to the main bad guy in anything ever tbh

Impression now

..Its complicated

its just?? Its very frustrating how he goes on about how the decepticons are oppressed but they never explain this in the show (I know the Allspark Almanac is there but. The show should be able to stand by itself) and just. The implications

a inarguably violent revolutionary leader of a cause that doesn't have tangible reasons??? makes certain things look bad

Despite this though, he might be my favorite megatron (though thats not saying much tbh)

I'd like to think there probably was good intentions in what he was doing but man. Things got rlly outta hand

Favorite moment

uhhhhhhh.. the... um... sorry i got nothing

i guess i like the one sentence in the Allspark Almanac where he says "optimus and prowl, and blurr and bumblebee" bc it implies that even he sees that blurr and bee have smth going on there

Idea for a story

the only idea i rlly have for him is just how he conditioned shockwave into the gifted student™ that he is

like,,, just being the only figure in shockwave's life growing up that gave him any sense of worth and he uses that to his advantage as he shapes shockwave into the "perfect" decepticon officer

Unpopular opinion

all of this is an unpopular opinion

Favorite relationship

I guess megatron/sumdac is kinda neat

like... There's only one way to explain Sari and it's those 2 so gay rights I suppose

Favorite headcanon

god other ppl have such better hcs about him than i do tbh but hmm...... i guess i like the hc that he likes poetry as a hobby

TFA Optimus Prime thoughts

First impression

i liked that he came from more humble beginnings and is somewhat flawed, it rlly sets him apart from the impression i got of optimus prime as a franchise bcharacter

Impression now

look. i like him!! I rlly do, hes one of the ops im genuinely interested in (normally i just simply do not care much for optimus)

but i see now that his flaws go beyond just being less experienced/not quite knowing how to lead to actually being dismissive to how other people feel at times and also leaning a little too far into the "cog in the great big autobot machine" mentality

if it were up to me i ignore canon optimus in favor for the optimus in my brain that makes sure everybody is emotionally ok and brings the team together as a found family and not a part of a machine

Favorite moment

i replay optimus calling masterson a "n00b" all the time in my head <3

Idea for a story

optimus taking the time to have a one-on-one talk to bumblebee about being a dropout of their respective educations + the trauma of being somewhat responsible for innocent ppl getting turned into techno-organics please and thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Either that or ratchet shutting down optimus's bullshit and knocking some sense into him like "HEY, THE WAY UR TREATING PPL LIKE BEE IS NOT OK" then he actually GROWS from his mistakes and becomes a better person for it!!!!

Unpopular opinion

ive already kinda discussed this but man ppl tend to skim over optimus's jerk moments and baby him like "uwu potat babie <33" but dude!!! he does shit like comfort SENTINEL over bumblebee after the waspinator situation when bee definitely was tramatized by that whole ordeal and simplifies blackarachnia's problems to just how she looks like.

he!! is flawed!!!! he is not an innocent sweet boy or whatever, and he should be properly confronted for it so he can improve!!

Favorite relationship

i think the only ship that has caught my eye is jazzop!! i think jazz's chill vibes could do him a lotta good!

Favorite headcanon

maybe whenever he retires he becomes a historian! he already is shown to have an interest in it from the first episode, so I think it would be neat if way down the road he ends up preserving the history he himself has gone through

[blueikeproductions]

I’m not sure what I expected, but this exceeded it. I couldn’t articulate what it reminds me of, but @horror-lady00 said it reminded her of the 3D He-Man cartoon and yeah that’s a pretty apt comparison! Taking the base material started from Aligned and going its own direction with it which is so much better than Cyberverse and WFC having near identical backstories on the origins of the war and loss of the Allspark. So very dull & uninspired. This on the other hand is superior in every way.

For starters the main conflict appears to be the invasion of the Quintessons.

This dude about to choke slam Sentinel has serious G2 Liege Maximo vibes and I want MORE. Also I like that Sentinel is blue, has a chin and isn’t orange. I wonder if the TFWiki’s Trump jokes on IDW G1 Sentinel made Hasbro go “Eeeh, let’s go with the TFA Sentinel for this one just to be safe.” Aligned also featured its Sentinel (Zeta) as being inspired by TFA Sentinel, so they may be just relying more on Aligned for some ideas, than the relatively boring orange Optimus design he had in IDW.

I think most of us just expected the film to be Megatron’s rise to power, and while a scene later on shows Megatron as he typically is with a Decepticon badge, the inclusion of the Quintessons throws a wrench in things. If it does well, another movie or cartoon series will probably go more in depth on Megatron’s rise to power, because I don’t see the movie handling Quintessons AND Megatron’s baby steps at the same time well.

One thing that sticks out the most is how Cybertron on its surface is depicted.

While I was fine with it back in Beast Machines & Galaxy Force, I’ve always been a little iffy on making Cybertron (partly) organic outside of that. It’s way too easy just to make Cybertron into Earth but Robots!, and it’s something Cyberverse in particular did very lazily. These at least look visually interesting. The still mostly metal surface having (mechanical?) plant life stubbornly growing on it. It certainly implies either way this version of Cybertron may have had organic origins like in Beast Machines, which I find interesting. The scenery is also well done even though I feel like these environments make more sense of them being on Earth and navigating it with Spike, Chip & Carly.

Also we get a look at what appears to be Airachnid, Starscream & The Waves.

And they look magnificent. No idea what role Airachnid has to play, but it’s nice to see she’s included.

Also these guys crop up a lot. Cybertron security I presume. They heavily resemble the silver Vehicons from Prime mixed with the Badgeless from IDW. I assume they Transform into jets because of the wings.

One thing that comes to mind is the base concept of lowly workerbots fighting to get to the surface. It’s surprisingly reminiscent of the original Bomberman storyline, though Orion and Megs have a far better go at it than Shirobom did.

This is shaping up to be a very fun film, but my main gripe is I don’t like this Bumblebee.

They’re trying WAAAAY too hard to make him funny, and he’s irritating, not endearing in the trailer. If this take on Bee fails to resonate, it’d be funny if this forces him to retire for awhile vs Bayformers bringing Bee back on the map. It also doesn’t really work having Bumblebee be the same age as Orion, as his whole schtick is being the plucky son/kid brother of the Autobots. It would actually make far more sense if this was Dion. If RotB managed to make Mirage popular and likable, this could be the case for Dion too, but he makes a heroic sacrifice, dies, and his Cog recovered and passed on to a young bot in B-127 Optimus rescues for the sequels.

I think the only deterrent here besides it being a cartoon movie, as adult fans expected an adult animated movie on par with IDW’s political bents and the WFC game duology, it’s pretty clear this is 110% made with children in mind. Transformers has struggled somewhat in getting kids to resonate with it after Rescue Bots & Robots in Disguise 2015. They largely were uninterested in Cyberverse & EarthSpark, they did show up for Bumblebee but I’m not sure on Rise of the Beasts, but I imagine they were more interested in it than EarthSpark.

This is the last shot for many reasons. Skybound won back the audiences IDW lost, and this has to be the thing that wins back kids and teens. It also has to be a win for a dying Paramount because Turtles & Sonic, like IDW, is the best they got, and they know it. This is Transformers’ Mutant Mayhem if all goes well, lest it joins EarthSpark as being the Rise of the TMNT of the brand (and I say that being a fan of Rise).

Hey everybody, it's the Transformers: One trailer! Basically a massive screen test to see who will replace numerous voices in the franchise, and an origin story that involves two miner buddies named Orion Pax and D-17 journeying to the surface to launch a rebellion against the Quintessons. The film hits theaters on September 20th.

[ao3feed-skystar]

Life Always Finds A Way (It's That Way Or The Highway)

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JK6cGiQ by cactuswitharaygun It has been a long time since they had newbuilds from a Vector - so, when the Aerialbots and the Stunticons arrive, most Mechs fail to realize that they have the Cybertronian equivalent of parental controls enabled. This - and the Decepticons' creative approach to problem-solving - leads to unexpected consequences such as mandatory interface education, shocking relationship reveals, long-awaited relationship upgrades, a sparkling baby boom, and the end of the Cybertronian civil war. That is, if Ratchet does not snap and glue EVERYONE to a medical berth first. Words: 9027, Chapters: 2/20, Language: English Fandoms: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Generation One Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, M/M, Multi Characters: Autobots (Transformers), Decepticons (Transformers), Stunticons (Transformers), Aerialbots (Transformers), Dinobots (Transformers), Protectobots (Transformers), Ratchet (Transformers), Jazz (Transformers), Prowl (Transformers), Optimus Prime, Megatron (Transformers), Soundwave (Transformers), Starscream (Transformers), Thundercracker (Transformers), Skywarp (Transformers) Relationships: Jetfire | Skyfire/Starscream (Transformers), Megatron/Soundwave (Transformers), Jazz/Prowl (Transformers), Elita One/Optimus Prime, Astrotrain/Blitzwing (Transformers), Hound/Mirage (Transformers), Skywarp & Starscream & Thundercracker (Transformers) Additional Tags: Implied Sexual Content, Secret Children, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Not Canon Compliant, Relationship Reveal, Sex Education, Cybertronian Biology (Transformers), Parenthood, Misunderstandings, Tags Are Hard, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Happy Ending, Second Chances, Implied/Referenced Harm to Children, POV Multiple, POV Alternating read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/JK6cGiQ

[shikai-the-storyteller]

WFC: Siege watch!

Part 1: Episodes 1, 2, and 3

[Part 2] (Linking because Tumblr isn’t even showing the post on my blog or on my dash 🙄)

As a side note: every single person in this fandom is horrible at tagging their spoilers, you guys really need to do a better job at that because I’ve got a bunch of blockers on and I was STILL almost spoiled multiple times. Come on you guys...it literally came out today, be better about this.

Alright going to try and keep expectations low because I feel like the target audience for this is G1 dudebros who take a series about transforming cars way too seriously, but I’m still cautiously optimistic because a friend vetted for the dudes working on this show so WE”LL SEE

Episode 1

Aw man there’s only 6 episodes??? Bummer, I wonder if they’re already working on Season 2 or if they’re going to see how this does and let it die in the water if it’s not popular enough.

Things I know going in: Skyfire / Jetfire is in this, Megatron has big lips, and Elita is in it. That’s literally it, I’ve managed to avoid spoilers thusfar (though a few of the promo images implied Skyfire’s a Decepticon, so you KNOW that’s gonna break bad eventually)

WHEELJACK Wednesday THURSDAY

OH MYG OSH IS THAT SKYWARP??? EXPECTATIONS ARE NOW SKY-HIGH

The transformation sequences look so reminiscent of those stop-motion videos people do of their Transformer toys transforming. This isn’t a dig at the animation style, I think that’s rather charming and I wonder if it’s intentional.

Wow Bumblebee sounds like a jerk. I’m instantly on-edge, please don’t make all the characters ~hyper-masculine mean guys who don’t know how to have fun or talk about their emotions~

“The Autobots aint paying you for attitude” YOU TELL HIM WHEELJACK

Yooo Velocitron exists!

Ahh so Bumblebee IS just a mercenary, not an Autobot

OHOHO HERE”S JETFIRE

Wow Jetfire you’re really going the bad dude route huh

Ayyyyyy there’s Starscream

YOOO THERE”S THUNDERCRACKER

Thundercracker I appreciate that you’re using fancy tech to identify wheeljack but his Autobot badge is literally Right There

WTF

WELL THAT DIDN”T LAST LONG HUH...that’s a bit disappointing

OH NVM THAT WASN”T A HEEL-TURN THAT WAS JUST A STRAIGHT UP “I”M THE BOSS” MOVE

huh so they’re making Skyfire the target of Starscream’s desire for power. hmm

WHY ARE YOU GUYS RUNNING JUST TRANSFORM INTO CARS unless they’re too low on energon to do it??

There he is...Mr. Big Lips

Well that’s a surprising take Megatron

Isn’t that Cybertron and Luna 1 in the sky though?? Are they on Cybertron rn or not??

Megatron’s voice is really throwing me off, if it weren’t for his helmet and color I’d really think that was Overlord

ITS TRUCK DAD

OHOHO HE SAID THE THING!!!!

Why does bumblebee have lips too

“What do you know of slavery?” Alright that line did make me go “OHHHH”

“Alpha Trion would be ashamed!” “Of us both, I think” ouch, but nice to see Alpha “Grandpa” Trion back in a series

Megatron PLEASE don’t say “I’m enjoying this, Prime” in that voice while I can hear Optimus groaning in the background

AYYY ELITAAAAAA

Why are the Seekers chasing these guys, who are running on foot, ON FOOT??? CHANGE INTO YOUR DANG ALT MODE

WHEELJACK SWORE

man I’m only like a few minutes in and I’m already bored. I’m going to watch the whole thing, but I feel like this is really lacking soul or personality so far. It very much feels like the script was written by people who aren’t familiar with these characters, so they’re writing them how they EXPECT them to sound, not writing them as they actually are. It’s more than a little disappointing, but this is only the first episode, so I’ll keep going and see if this is consistent throughout the series.

Oh man, just listening to Elita you can tell she was written by a dude. Oof.

There’s the Ark!

Dang everyone’s running low

Jeez Optimus and Elita wouldn’t just walk by all these injured Autobots!

And Optimus wouldn’t brush off his officers!! Agh!!!

YO Ultra Magnus!

Chromia!!!!!

oh my gosh is THAT Red Alert??

Hey where’s Ratchet though

Gosh the writing is so STIFF!!!! I can’t stand this, if I wasn’t a die-hard Transformers fan I would’ve bounced a few minutes ago

 It might also be the way the VAs pause between words, please speak normally, these constant pauses between words are frustrating

Ok but where the frick is Soundwave

“His arrogance I actually like” pfft

Annnnd here comes Ultra Magnus to accept the treaty on Prime’s behalf, where he’ll get held hostage and probably wind up beefing it.

Episode 2

SOUNDWAVE!!!! BABY

And Shockwave!!! 

YO SKYWARP ACTUALLY GOT A SPEAKING LINE

I want to know where Megatron got all this fabric for those stupid flags and where Ultra magnus got that cloak

Is. Is that Prowl with a weird paint job

Wow bad aim dude

Ultra Magnus you dummy....

Ok but if it was a battle then who were they fighting against???

Wow you’re really just gonna stand there and take that Magnus?

I know they’re on a time-crunch because they only have 6 episodes, but they have to do more to make me care about the characters. I’m inclined to care about them already because I’m familiar with the series and because as a stand-alone, even I’m like “Ok. So?” whenever new problems come up for them. I’m not invested!

Not to compare the two, because I feel like this entire liveblog will turn into a comparative essay, but Cyberverse got me invested in characters within the first episode! They were on an even TIGHTER time-crunch because their episodes were only 10 minutes, and yet they did a great job weaving a tight narrative and making good use of their time to tell a story and have characters charm the audience.

Optimus: Til All Are One Rodimus, coming out of nowhere: TIL ALL ARE ONE

WELL THAT”S NOT THE VOICE I WAS EXPECTING FOR SHOCKWAVE he sounds a bit reminiscent of his TFA version

What does de-rez mean

Ok but that’s assuming that this thing will automatically reprogram them?? Reformatting doesn’t automatically mean someone will turn into a Decepticon!

You know, there’s a lot of talking in the show but the dialogue doesn’t actually say a lot. It doesn’t reveal much about the characters or tell me who they are.

YOOO THERE”S SOUNDWAVE

AUDIO BOOB

It really annoys me that characters always pause after saying “I”. It’s always “I.........[long pause] rest of their sentence.”

what do you mean “Teams” Optimus there’s like 5 of you guys

I love you Soundwave!!!

Whoa wait was that Impactor in the background?

ughHHHHHH I HATE THAT MY BIGGEST PET PEEVE IS “what have you done?” SAID UTTERLY MONOTONE WHEN IT’S NOT EVEN A BIG DEAL!!! YOU CAN”T FLIP THAT LINE OUT WITHOUT ACTUALLY PUTTING IN THE FOOTWORK TO EARN IT!!! AGH!!!

Again, it feels very much like the writers read the wikipedia page for Transformers and maybe the first sentence of each character’s bio page and then wrote the entire script from there. It’s frustrating. I hate being so severe in my reviews because I hate dunking on my fellow writers because they don’t always have final say in what happens, but this is astonishingly poor writing.

Like, I can see what they’re TRYING to accomplish, but it feels like they whiff so badly.

YO IT IS IMPACTOR

oh thats Barricade that’s why I thought that was Prowl

Chromia!!!! My darling!!!! I can’t believe there’s only two girls in this show so far

Oh that’s Cog, I wasn’t sure if that was Beachcomber or what

Nice one Chromia

Oh is that Mirage?

Ugh ANOTHER WRITING PET PEEVE: Constantly having characters start to say something but then then their dialogue gets cut off. It’s fine if it’s once in a while but over and over it’s annoying

I also feel like a lot of the VAs lack...emotion. They don’t emphasize the lines. Like, “Get him into the repair bay” is one example. Depending on how you emphasize certain words in that sentence, you can infer a lot! Emotion, the state of mind of the character, etc. But when it’s delivered in such a bland way, it’s a bit like “ok whatever”, which is how I’m starting to feel about this whole show. This doesn’t go for all the VAs or all lines, but it’s consistent enough that my mind’s wandering.

RAVAGE??? RAVAGE???? RAVAGE?!?!?!??!?!

It was probably Bumblebee.

Not to be nitpicky but it should be “Neither we nor the Autobots”

The idea of reformatting is so stupid!!! It implies that Autobots and Decepticons are inherently different, which is stupid!! It’s so dumb WHY DO YOU GOTTA GO THAT ROUTE IT”S SO STUPID (ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY”RE TACKLING THE TOPIC OF OPPRESSION??? THEY”RE SAYING THEY”RE LITERALLY DIFFERENT SPECIES AND USING IT AS A PLATFORM TO SAY ONE GROUP IS INHERENTLY BETTER THAN THE OTHER. THAT SUCKS)

Episode 3

RATCHET!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lmao love your lipgloss Megatron

Ohh is Ratchet going to fix Impactor??

PROWL??? HE”S SO SHORT

Gosh please, please don’t have humans in this show

lmao Skyfire called Starscream a tool

RATCHET!!! :D

I’d like to see who was on the writing team of this show

Isn’t that Mirage?

YEAH THAT IS MIRAGE

Again with the sentences consistently being cut off....

Is that Sunstorm?

Points to Chromia and Mirage for showing the first bitof personality in this show.

Yooo Ratchet! Oof he’s not chummy with Prime huh

YOO CAMINUS EXISTS TOO

LMAO FEISTY GRANDPA

Oh Mirage come on

Actually no, don’t shut Impactor up he’s right

“I didn’t patch you up just so you could blow a valve here” *snorts*

Wouldn’t it be frickin hilarious if Magnus just popped open a panel and Minimus came out and just dipped outta there

lmao nice lightsaber Jetfire

LMAO “PULL THE TRIGGER MAGNUS”

JEEZ JUST PUNCH HIM RIGHT IN THE FACE WHY DON”T YOU 

Ratchet is the ONLY character they’ve given personality in this show so far.

Jeez Mirage cool your jets

Oh for frick’s sake Optimus be cool

Megatron please stop torturing your ex boyfriend

Ok but who did they rise against??? Were there Quintessons in this universe too?

oh come on you guys

Oh boy something tells me Skywarp isn’t going to survive the rest of this episode

Oh jk, Skyfire just let him go. Well alrighty then

I’m not sure how they found the Autobot base, they implied that it was because of Impactor but that doesn’t make sense

This post is getting long so I’m going to spit it between two posts

[afterspark-podcast]

G1 Episode 30: Transcript

Episode Show Notes

[This can also be found on AO3!]

[Stinger]

S: Black, like it’s-

O: Yes, it's completely black. Like straight fucking coffee. It is the sludge from hell.

[Intro Music]

O: Hello, welcome to the Afterspark Podcast, an episode by episode recap of the Generation 1 Transformers cartoon.  I'm Owls!

S: And I'm Specs.

O: And today we're gonna be talking about episode number 30: Day of the Machines! Let's talk about giant robots today, shall we?

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter] We start with, of course: Midnight, Quantum Laboratories, home of America's most  secret  inventions.

S: A security guard finds some um, “misplaced” items- ah, some very familiar misplaced items. [Laughter] Oh-

O: Hi, Soundwave! So the guard picks up- a picks up Soundwave along with a box and a guitar case and takes them to the Lost and Found.

S: It looked like it was in someone's office. Sooooo, why does the security guard uh, take it to Lost and Found? Why does he even do that? I mean, he says something about the absent-minded professor being at it again. Um, does this mean he just does this with anything that's left in people's offices? 

O: He is like the most passive-aggressive security guard ever. [Laughter] (Or whatever he is.) Because, like, oh that would be super annoying every time you come in it's like, where- where's my office plant? I guess, you know, Roger took it back to the lost and found cuz Roger is a jerk.

S: Yeah.

O: [Laughter]

S: Laserbeak and Soundwave transform and uh, Soundwave tosses a key to Laserbeak, telling him to release Megatron.

O: And, oh my god, Megatron’s in the frickin’ guitar case. Why didn't he just transform instead of them unlocking it? Why do they care about the structural integrity of this random guitar case?

S: Maybe it would be uncomfortable to transform and burst out of it? It’s- I don't know. 

O: Okay, so Megatron doesn't like being uncomfortable. Is that why he was in a plush guitar case?

S: Obviously. 

O: [Laughter] He’s gotta ride in comfort!

S: Once Megatron's free Soundwave grabs the box and Megatron blasts the Lost and Found, uh, door?-

O: Gate.

S: Gate-

O: They were like in a kind of gated, like, a clear fence area if that makes sense.

S: Yeah. 

O: Chain-link fence, that’s the word I’m looking for, sorry.

S: Yeah- Megatron blasts the a- chain-link entrance to the Lost and Found with his fusion cannon.

O: And yet the guitar case will survive this! It just gets left behind.

S: That's a lot of attention to detail for something that does not matter at all.

O: [Laughter] Right?! Megatron and Soundwave then subvert some tanks by flying over them undetected.

S: You know, in the gentle glow of the moonlight.

O: I'm sorry, I'm still stuck on the whole “Megatron being somewhat subtle” here thing.

S: It's Megatron, what can you do? 

O: [Snicker] 

S: So Megatron, uh, blasts a hole in the roof of the building that they land on. 

O: Well, okay, subtle for  him. [Laughter] We are then introduced to the most powerful computer on earth, TORQ III.

S: This implies the existence of TORQs I and II, so what happened to them? For that matter, why is it Decepticon-scaled?

O: No one knows, although I do love the image of TORQ I and II being shoved into, like, a broom closet somewhere. Probably rather glad they're in that broom closet, considering what happens to TORQ III after this.

S: Yeah. 

O: So, Megatron then... reprograms TORQ III to serve only  him  by using this really phallic looking thing that comes out of his helm. 

S: It's a literal mind fuck, guys. 

O: Literally! That looks like that is what is happening! 

S: Yes! 

O: Very, very much! [Laughter]

S: Yes, like you weren’t watching that bit when we scripted this and then I threw it out and then when we rewatched it and you were like, “Eeeaaaurgh!” 

O: Yeah, I was like, “Okay sure, mind fuck,” cuz I'm like looking down and typing and then I look up, when I had to rewind for some reason and I was like, “Oh my god!” [Laughter] And she’s like, “Yeah, that’s why I said it!” I’m like, I wasn’t looking. [Laughter] Well, that image will never leave my head. Great! 

S: And now it's in yours! 

O: [Laughter] Or it will be! We have screenshots. Anyway, TORQ begins blaring, “Illegal access! Illegal access!” 

S: Oh, that brings to mind so many bad things.

O: Yeah, it does! Yikes!

S: “It certainly is,” Megatron replies.

O: It's amazing. I love it.  [dissolves into laughter]

S: Oh god, the computers’ screen-face-thing is purple, so what were these people thinking? This is like Decepticon catnip. Did they hear it was purple and decided they needed to have it, in addition to it being the most powerful computer?

O: No,  Megatron  heard it was purple and decided they needed- needed to have it. [Laughter]

S: He would. So, Megatron, being himself, procedes to program it with his personality because what could be better? More of him! 

O: Okay, bu- but why does sticking his head-dick into the computer make it into a copy of him? I have so many questions right now, the first of which is, why would this be a good idea?! Did Megatron just forget he's a complete total bastard who doesn't like authority? 

S: Obviously, there's no one better than him so…

O: That's fine and dandy until the thing tries to rebel against you and, I'm like, it’s you, of course it's going to. 

S: It's a blind spot he has.

O: Obviously. Soundwave and Megatron, then open the box they had brought in with them, and put the microchips inside onto these really strange looking robots around the lab TORQ is in. 

S: Yeah, yeah, I mean what possible applications these robots have? How do they function? One’s got noodly arms that don't even- that they don't nearly seem like they should be able to lift anything. And they're all just sort of scattered around the lab higgledy-piggledy. 

O: Yeah.

S: In a line?  Or something, I don’t know.

O: It's weird. 

S: Once the microchips, apparently called ‘circuit linkers’, touch the other robots TORQ can control them.

O: He then uses Soundwave for target practice. Another lovely character for my shit list, apparently.

S: Owls is developing quite a shit list.

O: I am! I've got my hit list. The funny thing is there will be several that will die. Foreshadowing for the movie.

S: [Laughter]

Unfortunately, characters I actually like will die so I don't really think that gets me, you know, anything, honestly.

S: [Laughter] There's no net gains there.

O: There’s no net gains here.

S: And so, elsewhere, two scientists are working super late, wondering if they made TORQ- TORQ III even though it's not specified here- you know, too smart.

O: And TORQ could control the whole world, uh, whatever would we do if the wrong person got ahold of him, uh, you know, so, you mean, like right now, this very second! 

S: Ah, one of the scientists notices that it's, you know, fucking after midnight and says they should go home and get some sleep.

O: He says “we.” Are the scientists  lovers? 

S: It's possible. Maybe they're married? 

O: It’s getting spicy tonight, baby. Welcome to Dr. Love’s laboratory! And so as he turns to leave- or as one of the scientists turns to leave, the robot controlled door closes and locks them in. When they go to call maintenance, TORQ tells them that maintenance can't help them. 

S: This is why robot doors are bad, guys. 

O: Or, not having a secondary method in which to exit, at least, is very bad.

S: Yeah, the other scientist um, starts for rebuild- rebuilding his, ah, little TV phone into something that can call long distance in order to call for help because, I guess, TORQ does not control the phone lines. 

O: Or won't, if he rebuilds it? 

S: I guess? I don’t know. Elsewhere, by dawn's morning light, Megatron, Rumble, and Frenzy are flying around, putting more of the control chips onto some oil tankers because that's how that works, I guess?

O: Di- did you know oil tankers come in fleets, Specs? 

S: It seems like so much wasted effort went into the shot. They clearly drew all of these ships individually. 

O: Ah, the days before digital animation and coloring, I think.

S: But they could have just Xeroxed one of them and been done-

O: [Laughter] Or even traced! Maybe, I guess.

S: I mean, look at 101 Dalmatians, they did fuckin Xerox-

O: That’s true-

S: So many Xeroxed dalmatians-

O: Shit, that's right, there are a ton of Xeroxed dogs. [Laughter] Elsewhere, at the Ark, Teletraan warns Optimus that there's skullduggery afoot!

S: A bunch of oil tankers are converging near the Decepticon base which- is in the middle of the ocean? 

O: In the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, according to this map. To which I have to ask, how the hell did Carly get in there a few episodes back? 

S: She chartered a plane, a train, and an automobile, and then teeny-weeny little boat.

O: Well, while I do certainly think Carly is capable of that, considering she's badass. I refuse to believe this map is accurate and they have to be in the Pacific Ocean. It just seems too close to the Autobot base in other episodes not to be. If, regardless, if they drove all the way to Washington DC no problem in that one episode. Either that or the platform isn't built on top of their base as the dialogue seems to imply and it's just, you know, one of their bases of the week. 

S: Which they do seem to have so many of those.

O: They do have a lot of those. 

S: Yeah and so, well, Optimus smells a rat named Megatron.

O: I mean, he's not wrong.

S: He really isn't and, uh, so Quantum Labs is finally able to get a hold of Optimus, I think, through Teletraan. I don't remember. 

O: Yeah, I mean, Teletraan 1 basically operates as their phone so-

S: Yeah.

O: -Yes.

S: Yeah. So, the scientists at Quantum Labs warns them about TORQ's sudden case of the evils.

O: And Optimus is ready to head towards the Lab. Hound offers to investigate the oil tankers all converging in the middle of the goddamn Atlantic Ocean.

S: You're not a boat, Hound. You're really not. 

O: It's ok, Skyfire’s gonna come. Skyfire and Spike. [Laughter] You know, the dream team! 

S: Optimus transforms and, um, Wheeljack, Prowl, Sideswipe, and Ironhide are suddenly right there! Right there! Where the hell did those guys come from? 

O: Through the power of camera angles they were there the whole time. 

S: Prime's group arrives at the Labs and Optimus rips the crossing barrier off so they can enter before, you know, being shot at by, you know, the robots. Or tanks?

O: They are attacked by all the tanks from before, that apparently don't have any humans controlling them.

S: Oh, oh so that's why they were so useless earlier.

O: Oh, yeah, probably. 

S: The Autobots are surrounded by this plethora of vehicles as Optimus channels Charlie Brown, “Good grief!”

O: Or Jotaro from JoJo's Strange Adv- Bizarre Adventure.

S: Yeah, Being cars themselves, they got the brilliant idea to, um, shoot out the tires on the attacking vehicles.

O: This only gets them so far, so Optimus Prime speed dials the Dinobots by pressing his abs.

S: Ah, ab cell-phone service. 

O: I mean, it was the 80’s. I mean, why not make the cell phone your entire ab if it's got to be huge? Might as well, right? I mean, at least, you save a little space, but that being said you would think it’s in his helmet considering the little antenna a few episodes back. But continuity? What's that?

S: And I’m just imagining someone going up and knocking on your grill while in truck mode.

O: [Laughter] “Optimus Prime call Dinobots! Dinobots smash gas station!” [Laughter] “Wait, no!”

S: So Peter Cullen talks to himself for a few lines and the Dinobots arrived with Grimlock in the lead.

O: Good thing Peter Cullen only does Prime and Ironhide because if we had to say that- if we said that joke for every time Welker talked to himself it would be absurd.

S: We'd be here all day.

O: We would be here all day! 

S: Optimus orders the Dinobots to smash here-

O: Which, obviously, being Dinobots they comply, there is much mayhem and explosions.

S: Yep. So, apparently, the doors are controlled by a computer but not the windows because the two scientists are able to shout to the Autobots from their open window.

O: I also am laughing because a lot of like ah, multi-story buildings that are, like, work places you can't even open the windows.

S: Especially now. You might have been able to in the ‘80’s.

O: Yeah. 

S: But, uh- but, uh-

O: Definitely be a question because probably not every place had AC either. 

S: Yeah.

O: So I imagine it would have been more common. Sludge gives Optimus a lift to the window and he helps the two scientists escape.

S: Optimus asks a question and then um, answers it himself with, you know, the answer, of course, being Megatron.

O: He's basically, like, a machine rebellion!

S: The scientists are confused as TORQ shouldn't be able to control things that aren't, you know, specifically designed for it. Then Sparkplug shows up to explain about the chips the Decepticons have been using them. Um.

O: Where did he come from? Why are characters poofing into existence so much in this episode? 

S: The power of convenience. 

O: The power of convenience. Optimus then takes the chip from Sparkplug and sticks it into his arm. 

S: Optimus, why would you do that? It's controlled everything else it's touched just by touching it.

O: But not him, apparently. The Autobots are led to TORQ’s hangar but the door is locked.

S: To quote Optimus, “Thankfully, I have a delicate lock-picking technique.”

O: That technique is blasting the door- [Laughter] 

S: And- 

O: Let it never be said that Optimus doesn't have a sense of humor.

S: Oh, oh god, he definitely has a sense of humor. 

O: It's just dad humor. 

S: Yeah, and so the Autobots are attacked by those funky looking machines that we saw earlier before we jet on over to Skyfire and company.

O: Apparently the Decepticons plan is to collect all the oil from the tankers and pump it down to their base but, oh no, the oil platform is protected by an unbreakable shield.

S: We've seen that one before. 

O: How the heck didn’t the Autobots see the Cons building this giant freaking platform in the middle of the fucking ocean!

S: They're just not paying attention to the goddamn oceans, I don't know.

O: The Sky Spy, you have Sky Spies! 

S: Yep, they land on one of the tankers. Hound and Spike exiting from Skyfire’s crotch hatch.

O: Of course.

S: They ask the captain to hide them so they can get, you know, through the shield and surprise the Decepticons. 

O: Hide him how? Skyfire is  huge!  How are they going to hide him? 

S: Mass-shifting? I don't know, somehow it works.

O: And at the boat docks, Megatron's supervising personally, for some reason, along with an incorrectly coloured Hook.

S: As the ship approaches, Hound and Skyfire jump out of a conveniently sized hole that was just on the ship's deck. I guess it's um, a hold or something? I don't know.

O: Yeah, but it was really large. Like, large enough for Skyfire to get into. I have no idea how realistic that is. And then a fight breaks out! Soundwave and some of his cassettes joining the fray as well and our dead-weight- I mean, Spike, is captured by Laserbeak pretty much immediately.

S: Yep. Megatron tells them to surrender or he'll have Laserbeak drop- drop Spike. 

O: [Sarcasm] Oh no.

S: Soundwave is standing off in the background like the strong, independent tape deck he is.

O: And, back at the lab, more of those crazy machines come out of the hole Prime blasted and attack.

S: Again, what were these made for? They seem, um, perfect for hunting Autobots. Optimus, were your friends planning on doing bad things to you?

O: Quite possibly. About those bad things, Optimus is captured by the kink machine- I mean, the bondage machine- oh, I mean, the one with the tentacles. [Laughter]

S: [Laughter] 

O: I’m serious, what else is that thing supposed to be for? Like, maybe that's what they were doing? Were they making a giant bondage machine for the Autobots? [Laughter] 

S: [Silent laughter]

O: I broke Specs, yay! [Laughter] I’m sorry!

S: Prowl can lift as he struggles to hold one of the robot’s mouths open, so it doesn't, like, crush him.

O: But then Ironhide just walks up to his opponent, plugs a hole with his finger and then it explodes. Welcome to the Looney Tunes, starring the Autobots. 

S: [Laughter] Sideswipe just makes his clap and that kills it.

O: [Laughter] Of course. So after, you know, um, all of that, they finally enter the hangar to find a maze.

S: Who designed this place?

O: I think TORQ’s done some redecorating overnight. He has had an army of, like, robo slaves at his disposal.

S: The funky-ass robots.

O: [Laughter] Kinkmatron. 

S: [Laughter] 

O: That’s it’s name now, no one can stop me! Optimus enters alone, uh, before we cut back to Skyfire, Hound, and Spike, who are in the Decepticon brig. 

S: When the Decepticons catch naughty Autobots, they go in the naughty Autobot hole. 

O: Dare I ask what that means for Spike? [Laughter]

S: [Laughter] God, there is a really terrible pun there. 

O: [Laughter] Yeah, there probably is!

S: God, I am not going into that. 

O: [Laughter] Nope, nope, we’ve talked about kink machines multiple times, I don’t want to get into anything else tonight!

S: Spike and his compatriots are trapped and waiting for rescue but, don't worry, Spike has a plan!

O: I feel like it's only fair, they're stuck there because of Spike in the first place. He should have a plan. 

S: Well, considering what his plan is, he was the only damn one who can carry out.

O: True. 

S: TORQ- Well, back with Optimus, TORQ continues to bait Optimus as, you know, our dad-bot makes his way through the maze and evil robots.

O: Optimus gets another circuit breaker- that wasn’t what it was called. 

S: Circuit linker-

O: -Circuit linker put on him and this controls him. [Laughter] You know, “controls him.”

S: I guess we should assume Sparkplug or Wheeljack disabled the other one, um…?

O: That makes sense. Although I- hmmm. So through this entire section, right, I was comparing TORQ’s dialogue to Megatron. You know, since Megs programmed his personality into this computer. You know, everything seems spot-on, I can hear Megatron saying all of this but then when TORQ captures Optimus he says, “Come to me, my pet,” and I have to admit it sounds like what Megatron would say in this situation, and I basically fucking lost it while we were watching it. But to make this even better! He says, “You're mine now,” two seconds later. Apparently, Megatron's thirst for Optimus transferred over, too! 

S: Yeah. Surprise! Optimus has been pretending to be controlled the entire time.

O: Of course! 

S: And that broken- broken circuit linker he had earlier was, in fact, there for a reason. He swapped it with the active one.

O: How he managed to do that without touching the live one is debatable but alright.

S: I don't have the time or energy to debate it so-

O: [Laughter] Fair.

S: Let's not. TORQ orders his robots to destroy Optimus but one well-placed punch by, you know, the Dad-bot makes TORQ explode.

O: Ding-dong, the TORQ is dead. 

S: TORQ I and II are probably very grateful.

O: [Laughter] I mean, TORQ III seems like a bastard. Certainly was a bastard there at the end.  Soundwave warns Megatron that TORQ is no longer in control of the tankers but Megs’ will control them with his radio transmitter he's conveniently holding.

S: Does it come with a funky hat?

O: We could only hope but, sadly, no.

S: Yeah. The scientists send Optimus and company off on, like, a super-fast boat. I think it's a hydrofoil, I don't know, as they head towards the Decepticons location. So, apparently, they were close to the coast.

O: Apparently. With Sparkplug driving, by the way. 

S: Oh, Sparkplug, most interesting man in the world. He knows how to do everything! He's been a ruby miner, an oil driller, a mechanic, boat captain, everything! 

O: Autobot liaison?

S: Yeah.

O: And back into the brig, uh, Spike has conveniently found an electromagnet just lying around.

S: I'm starting to think this isn't so much their brig, as it is their trash-pile room. 

O: Not to mention what the fuck they were using an electromagnet for or how.

S: I don't know. God, ygm Spike uses the electromagnet to magnetize the cassettes standing by the door to the walls- magnetize their guards.

O: Yes, essentially.  With the cassettes incapacitated, Skyfire burst the door down- bust the door down. I know what I'm saying. 

S: And through a five-second interlude we are told the Autobots in the boat are within sight, as Soundwave spots them.

O: But Megatron's not worried, they'll never get that shield, right? 

S: Jetfire, Hound, and Spike find the shield generator uh, so helpfully being guarded by Frenzy. 

O: Skyfire lures Frenzy away as Hound shoots the generator with one of his missiles. 

S: How did Hound get his ammo back? Because I'm pretty sure they were disarmed.

O: Shhh! They don't want you to think about it, they didn't, either. 

S: Well, that's true. The shield goes down just as the other Autobots arrive and, ah, you'll never guess how they do! The boat yeets itself out of the water and onto the platform and it’s horrifyingly entertaining cuz I keep imagining that the boat is gonna break.

O: Right? Another fight breaks out with Starscream, Laserbeak, and Frenzy joining Megatron and Soundwave.

S: And Megatron runs away and Optimus follows to destroy the radio transmitter.

O: Once destroyed, Optimus tells the tankers they're free to go. 

S: Megatron, you know, being a sore loser sets the whole platform to explode. 

O: The other Bots make it back to the boat but Prime runs to go find Skyfire and the others who who they presumably know are on there, for some reason? 

S: I mean, I think-

O: I mean, it's not the worst assumption to make but, I'm like, did they see them? I don't think they did.

S: I mean, they talked to one of the tanker captains? I don't know. 

O: I don’t know if they… They wouldn’t have had time. I- I'm gonna go with maybe they've all got GPS on them or something and roll with that, probably.

S: Yeah. So they all make it out on Skyfire once he's able to get, you know, out of the platform. 

O: And take off.

S: Yeah.

O: One of the scientists thanks the bots for their help and makes a rather unfortunate comment about unreliable machines.

S: [Sigh] 

O: You know, eating that entire foot.

S: Yeah, and he attempts to make a recovery but it's not really successful.

O: It isn’t very good.

S: And that's it! That's the end of the episode. Oh, but they brought the boat back to where it was from originally.

O: I mean, good for them for not exploding the boat, that was helpfully lent into them, I suppose. 

S: Yeah.

O: But join us next time for everyone's favorite holiday: Autobot Day! Wait... wait... no? Do we mean: Decepticon Day?

S: [Sigh] Parades.

O: [Laughter]

S: There are parades. 

O: Parades and I think this is a multi-parter, if I’m remembering properly?

S: Yep.

O: Cause, I think it's like Megatron’s Master Plan?

S: Yeah, I’m pretty sure that's what it is. 

O: It's a multi-parts-

S: It’s two parts, I’m pretty sure. And we have fanfiction recommendations. Due to the fact that I've been swamped, I didn't come up with any so Owls has supplied our fanfiction recommendations for today.

O: Wild-card fics yet again. These had nothing to do with the episode. All right, um, so I have picked two for today. The first one is “Cuck Rung” by… I think this is said, Evedawalrus.

S: Yeah, I think that’s what it is.

O: I think that’s accurate. I can’t remember what her username is on Tumblr but, um, it is IDW continuity, it is rated T. It's technically slash but let me tell you all the slash is relatively background, for the most part, and where it's really not the main focus but it has, um, Minimus Ambus/Megatron and uh, Drift/Ratchet. Our main characters, there are more than this that have popped up since, but our main characters are Rodimus, Ultra Magnus, Drift, Ratchet, Swerve, Megatron, and Ravage. 

O: Our description is: Rodimus creates a shipwide group chat. This proves to be a horrible decision. It is ongoing, it's not complete, it is multi-chapter and, let me tell you, it is hilarious. I laugh my ass off every time I read this. Um, because it is literally just a group chat with all of these characters and think of it very much like a discord where you have certain people who can, like, rename others and all this other shit. It's amazing, I highly recommend it. [Laughter]

And our second one is a “Shimmer of Hope” by NiCad? [Pronounced ny-cad]

S: Ny-cad? Nee-cad?

O: One of those.

S: The pronunciation’s debatable. 

O: Thank you, Internet! It is IDW, it's rated T, it’s Gen, uh, there are no pairings, and our characters are Verity and Springer. The summary is, “What did Verity write in that thank you card to Springer, anyway?” It's a one shot. I believe this is after- it's the last of the Wreckers trilogy from the IDW comics.

S: Requiem for the Wreckers, maybe?

O: I think that one. Uh, this is right after that. It's pretty short but, um, I really like Verity so I'm like Verity needs to be in more things, so those are our recommendations for today.

S:  And that just about wraps it up for us today, remember to check us out on Tumblr or Pillowfort as Afterspark-Podcast for any additional information, show notes, or links, we may have mentioned.  You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word).  And various other locations by searching for Afterspark…. Podcast- [Laughter]

O: [Laughter]

S: You can also find us on Facebook and Twitter at AftersparkPod (all one word).  And various other locations by searching for Afterspark Podcast, such as AO3, iTunes, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and Youtube, just to name a few.  

O: Ah, feel free to send us questions on Tumblr, too. We actually, you know, have to do a mic check before we do any recording so, ah, it’s helpful for us. I have a list of questions but we're gonna run out eventually and I don't think I should be left to think of questions by myself. If you have a question about Transformers or whatever, feel free to send it to us on Tumblr and we'll probably use it for a warm-up and I'll try to answer it on Tumblr, too. 

S: Yeah or, I guess, in the comments on AO3, Youtube.

O: Yep, that also works comments on AO3, Youtube  Basically anywhere we respond back to which is mostly Youtube and AO3.

S: Yeah, uh, so till next time, guys! I'm Specs!

O: And I’m Owls!

S: Toodles!

 [Outro Music]