#doesn't erase his progress

[doodlboy]

Turning the obey me men into my ocs they don't belong to solmare anymore

[underthebluerain]

just encountered a ‘s*ra is b.b.s kairi’ theory and wow! I never want to see that bullshit again! :)))

[luveline]

WOULD LOOOVE to see badass reader get jealous over someone flirting with spencer

ty for requesting ♡ —spencer reassures you when he catches the eye of a receptionist at the ocean city precinct. fem!reader, 1.3k

Hotch lives on coffee lately. Any type from any source, he doesn't care what it tastes like so long as it keeps him awake. You're similar, in that even if you hated it, you'd keep it to yourself. 

But you're frowning in disgust at your cup. Eyebrows wrinkled, lips in a fierce line. Hotch sighs and puts his hand on the back of your chair. "Are you alright?" he asks. 

You've never told him otherwise. "Fine. Thank you." 

"There's water in my bag," he offers. You won't meet his eyes. You probably have a headache. "And aspirin." 

For as long as he's known you and worked with you, you've been as you are now, quiet, stern, with little sense of humour at work and not much more outside of it. The only evidence of your soft heart is how you work like a dog, and how you treat your coworker, Spencer. He's your achilles heel, your tender spot in all the tough scarring. Hotch knows there's nothing anyone can do to make you feel better if they aren't him. 

Hotch turns on the spot to look for him. The case you're working on here in Maryland has hit a lul, and exhausted faces peek out from behind their desks at Hotch's looking. He searches for the short mop of brown hair that's required and finds it in an unusual place. 

Spencer has been waylaid by a receptionist. Glimmering eyes, shiny silver fingernails that tap the desk in front of her as she speaks, the receptionist clearly has Spencer hanging on. He takes a step back and she doubles down, her storytelling audible from across the room. 

"You'll have to see it for yourself, Dr. Reid, it's a sight!" 

Hotch looks at you from the corner of his eye. "I see." 

"Don't know what you're talking about," you mutter. You stand and tip your coffee into the bin, letting the cup fall in after it morosely. 

"Why don't you go and help Reid?" Hotch asks. 

"Help Reid what?" you ask. Your tone betrays you —jealousy, sure, that slight crisp to your words that must hurt on the way out, but worse is the weakness as your sentence ends. You're jealous, and it's upsetting you. "I don't think I want to help him with that." 

Derek swings into the sequestered space you've been using to operate and beams at you like he knows exactly what you're thinking. 

"Isn't it surprising how quiet he can be? Years of catching bad guys and he can't say no to a pretty woman," Derek says, giving you a knowing look.

You and Derek have a half-hearted rivalry in that he loves to flirt and you disapprove. Your soft spot extends solely to Spencer no matter how hard Derek tries to sway you, though as you and Spencer have gotten closer, you've softened.

Hotch thinks that Derek's teasing might erase any progress that's been made. 

"Morgan," he says reproachfully. 

Derek makes a who, me? face but quickly gives in. "Why don't you go save him?" he asks you. 

"He doesn't need saving. Spencer is a grown man who can make his own choices," you say quietly. 

Hotch bites his tongue. Thankfully, Derek speaks up, without any teasing. "Spencer's been expected to  know how to do things without any help since he was a kid. I really think he just doesn't know how to walk away." 

You look down at your hands. Hotch has been doing his job for a long time, and he can guess what you're thinking from a misaligned finger. You don't feel like you measure up to the woman at reception. You're insecure about Spencer's affection for you, because you can't understand why he likes you so much to begin with. Hotch has thought it about Haley, Derek of Savannah. It's a very human doubt.

"Spencer tends to stand straight," Hotch says, bringing the lip of his paper cup up. "Right now, he's leaning away." 

It's in as simple terms as he can put it without outright telling you that he really, truly believes that Spencer wouldn't bother with anyone who isn't you. That Spencer loves you in the young, all encompassing way, even though neither of you seems to have realised the depth of it yet. 

Confident, no air of the girl frowning down at her hands, you leave the nook to approach Spencer from behind. 

"Hi," Hotch hears you say, "you okay?" 

Spencer visibly relaxes. "Hey, I'm fine. Uh, Y/N, this is Anabelle. Annabelle, this is my partner, Y/N." 

"Partner?" Derek asks. 

It's news to Hotch. Perhaps news to you, if the way you take his hand is any hint. It's like you've never held it before, and Hotch knows you have, he's seen you linking pinkies under tables. 

You strangle his fingers with yours. Spencer doesn't move an inch.

"She was just telling me about the sightseeing you can do here. Have you ever seen the world's longest worm on a string?" he asks you. 

"Hi, Annabelle," you say, turning to Spencer with poorly masked whiplash. "We're gonna try narrowing the search radius." 

"Oh, right." Spencer lets go of your hand in favour of putting a hand behind your shoulder, saying his thank yous and goodbyes to Annabelle before guiding you back to the makeshift BAU base camp. "What took you so long?" 

"What took me so long?" you ask.

"I thought you liked me!" Spencer says, teasing, his voice pitching higher. "I didn't know how to tell her I've already read the pamphlet she was quoting. She seemed nice though, right?" 

"She seemed nice, Spence," you agree, a little wobbly still but a thousand times less sullen than before. "I– of course I like you, you know I like you. Right?" 

Hotch is proud of Spencer for how remarkably he responds. Spencer puts his body between you and Hotch and Derek where they're standing to offer you the privacy you prefer, dropping his voice to match your tentativeness. "Yeah, I know. I was kidding. I think they'd have to reassess my position on this team if I didn't know that." He grabs your arm, thumb pressing into the crook of your elbow. "Are you okay?"

"I thought maybe she was flirting with you." 

Spencer shrugs uneasily. "Maybe. It wouldn't make a difference to me. Do you know that?" 

Your head dips down. Hotch can't hear what you say, honestly, he doesn't want to know. Eavesdropping on the people he cares about in their unhappy moments isn't something he makes a habit of, but it's hard not to hear Spencer's response. "Don't say that," he murmurs. "That's not true… We'll talk about it later, okay?"

You clear your throat. "Yeah. Whatever you want."

Derek doesn't hide that he's been listening very well, pulling a crime scene document up to his eye line as you and Spencer pull apart. Your eyebrows furrow into a glare, but it's Spencer who says, "What?" 

Hotch bites back a smile. Derek grins and holds his hands up in surrender. 

"Just nice to see you taking care of my favourite girl," he smarms.

"Stop. You're extremely unprofessional," Spencer says, helping you into your seat unnecessarily.

"And you're not?" Derek asks, gesturing to his hand where it lingers behind your shoulders. 

You finally chip in, apparently back to your regular self. "Only one of us was responsible for a unit wide HR mandate about inappropriate behaviour." 

"You cannot keep bringing that up." 

"Why not?" 

Hotch takes a sip of his tepid coffee. He'd rather not get involved. 

[yawnderu]

Lorelei — Simon "Ghost" Riley x Reader | Part V

1 2 3 4

Synopsis: Aware of the way his lifestyle doesn't align with your dream life and unwilling to quit his life as a soldier, Simon breaks things off with you. It isn't until a year later that he sees you again, a tiny carbon copy of him held in your arms.

This chapter can be read as a one-shot without having to read the whole story! :)

"Are you staying for Christmas?" You ask casually, decorating the cookies you baked with Simon's help. Your daughter is sleeping peacefully in her crib, a small Santa Claus onesie on her, preparing her for the celebration even when there's still a few hours left.

"You want me to?" He asks with a raised eyebrow, brown eyes fully focused on decorating the head of one of the cookie figures, steady hand drawing a skull pattern with ease.

"It's her first Christmas, I think she'd like having her father around." I want you around as well. He's lucky you're focused on decorating your cookies, missing the way his face lights up with a proud smile. It's a lot of progress.

''Right. I got you both some presents in the car.'' He washes his hands on the sink, giving his daughter one last look before leaving the house, trying to gather as many of the gifts he bought as possible. ''Some presents'' was clearly an understatement— he has been building a pile of gifts for months, his car full of boxes and bags for both you and your little girl.

''Jesus Christ.'' You wash your hands and go help him as you see him struggling to carry the pile, taking some from him and putting them under the Christmas tree.

''There's more in the car.'' He seems almost sheepish as he confesses, giving him a small pat on the arm as you go outside to help him. You almost laugh as you look inside, the entire backseat full of presents. It's almost ridiculous, yet so charming how much he wants to make both of you happy, knowing how much it the holidays mean to you, especially now that you have a daughter.

''Isn't this... a bit overkill?'' You joke, earning you a playful pat on the ass now that your arms are busy. You miss the kick thrown his way, jogging after him with a smile when he playfully gets on the other side of the couch to avoid you getting revenge.

''I still got one more present coming, but that's for later.'' He walks back to the kitchen once he made sure you weren't going to kill him for patting your ass.

''I swear to God, Simon, if it's another d—'' He interrupts you by smearing frosting on your cheek, shooting you a cheeky smile that gets erased the moment you do it back— smearing way more than you should have all over his cheek.

''Bastard.''

Your baby was up by the time it was midnight, excited to see her mum and dad opening up presents and even joining in, tiny hands clearly struggling with the wrapping paper, yet somehow managing without help.

''Strong girl, like her mum.'' You smile softly at his words, looking at the way your daughter stares curiously at one of her last presents; a cactus activated by sound.

''Say 'hello'.'' Simon says, getting closer to the toy until it activates, dancing around and lighting up. Astrid looks confused as she looks at it, brown eyes looking up at you before looking back at the toy.

''Hello.'' He repeats, a warm smile on his lips when the toy starts dancing again, much to your daughter's confusion. She babbles at it, tiny hands reaching out to touch it once it starts moving and playing back her sounds, giggles escaping her lips as the toy imitates her laugh.

Simon's phone vibrates in his pocket, getting up from the couch before looking down at his phone with twinkling eyes.

''My mate's here, I'll be right back.'' He doesn't wait for you to reply, already out of the house before you can even say anything. Your focus is back to your daughter, happy that she enjoys playing with the toy rather than being scared of it like you've seen in videos online. Brave girl she is, not a single lick of fear in her.

Simon comes back a minute later, holding a big German Shepherd that can definitely walk on its own. You give him a questioning look as he sets it on the floor, holding his collar just in case.

''Absolutely not.'' You try to protest, yet your gaze softens when you see Astrid crawl to the dog.

''Wa-wa!'' She points out, tiny hands reaching up to pet the dog the same way you've taught her, gentle. The dog doesn't react much besides laying down on the floor for your daughter to pet it, making it much easier for her.

''His name's Riley, he's a retired K-9. Look, I'll pay for his food and even for someone to come take care of him when I'm not here, I just... want you to be safe.'' There's hints of pleading on his tone, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he looks at you.

''... I'll take care of him.'' You say with a small sigh, knowing Simon wants nothing else than for both of his girls to be safe, especially when he's deployed.

''We gave him extra training to deal with kids and emergencies. Big geezer's patient and good.'' He keeps trying to sell it as if you didn't say yes already, a small giggle escaping your lips before giving him a reassuring smile.

''We'll keep him, don't worry.'' You crouch down to pet the dog, who is clearly enjoying the attention from your daughter, allowing her to rest on his side while petting his head.

There's a smile on his face as he looks down at his family, hands fumbling with the small box in his pocket.

[PREVIOUS]

taglist: @skulfan1 @survivalshxt @ghostslittlegf @yaebaal @thecubanator2 @juliediets @shescabob @kenz-ee @lothiriel9 @dragonstoneshortcake @lunamoonbby @alfie2401 @perfectus-in-morte @mxtokko @cloufie @killergoddess97 @imaracoon @thepurpleaccount @silas-222 @actuallyhiswife @havoc973 @catkatchuck @preeyansha

[somerandomdudelmao]

there's something so potent about mikey's spirit protecting leo and i'm going to try to put it into words here but forgive me if i don't accurately get my point across

by all accounts - mikey should have shattered along with his body. and you can see the evidence of that because his spirit is cracked and fraying and glitching just like when he was alive and pushing himself too far. and yet against all fucking odds he's holding himself together and ripping through the veil almost the same way casey is just so he can stand over his big brother and return the favor leo's been doing for years - saying 'don't touch him'

leo's been acting as a shield, but even shields wear down and crack and break because they're meant to take hits, to protect the person on the other side, but nothing in this world is indestructible - not forever.

recently i learned more about radiation therapy, the way it can target certain areas in the body with the right settings, but also the way it progressively wears you down because as much as it can help you, it's also hurting you. it feels very similar to the way leo stands directly in the path of the krang's power because 'i don't have magic, it can't hurt me' but it can because the magic was there once and nothing is ever fully erased from existence. it doesn't feel like it's hurting him, but it is. and like a wilting plant trying to sprout new growth, repeatedly exposed to blistering sunlight but never being watered because 'it's already wilting and dying, there's no point' - but there's always something beneath the soil, some remnant that toils ever upward to keep growing and living. leo's never really given himself a chance, has he? because he's been so focused on keeping mikey out of harm's way that he never stopped to dig down a little further and find those roots, still trying to take hold.

there's no way of knowing at this point in the story if leo is ever supposed to find his magic/ninpo again, but wouldn't that be something? anything can grow, given the right environment and attention. take what's left from the ruined timeline and plant him in new soil, free of warfare, safe with his brothers, and who knows what could grow.

and if mikey is there? if his family is there? you can be damn well sure they're going to water anything that looks like new growth - why wouldn't they? it's time to return the favor, after all.

Yes yep mhm uh huh YES T H I S

[riaki]

sick days ! gojo x reader ‧˚ - take a soda break…!

the rain outside your window is incessant.

it slides down the foggy glass panes in small rivulets that merge together and break apart, like the people outside on different paths of life. a sea of umbrellas moves like liquid in the streets below; a school of fish in a rainy city, under those fluorescent neons that shine like vibrant coral in the puddles of rain on the concrete.

there’s beauty even in the humid showers of tokyo, reflected in the broken lights and flickering signs; those food stalls full of warm life and fancy clothing stores that you always go in just to not buy anything, and best of all— the vending machines that dot the map.

watching raindrops race was one of your favorite hobbies as a kid. even now, you find yourself absentmindedly tracking the movements; the erratic nature of the blurry droplets as they slide down the glass makes you wonder if there’s hidden ridges on the panels that guide those watery paths.

your train of thought is rudely interrupted by another bout of coughing; that dry, itching feeling in your throat that you just can’t get rid of. drinking water to quell the cough has the same effect as telling your study buddy to stay focused for longer than five minutes. gojo is playing something on his phone again; a rhythm game, by the way he curses under his breath every time his fingers stutter and miss a beat.

you cover your mouth with your elbow, trying to expel the ghost dust that makes your breath hitch every time you try to speak, and he glances up at you, shifting in his seat. his lanky legs are cramped beneath the desktop; his frame doesn’t fit in your room. he has to duck when he enters, lest he hit his head like the first time he came over. like you, he has his head resting in his elbows. unlike you, he isn't ill with a fever so hot it burns cold and the stuffiness in your voice, and he also isn't studying.

"you sure you still wanna be reviewing? this exam doesn't really matter, y'know." gojo remarks, peering up at you from his arm pillow. "you should probably take a break, ’cus you look like shit."

he grins cheekily, pushing a pile of his papers and notes to the edge of the desk, where eraser shavings and broken bits of lead from when he couldn't solve a math problem are crammed. there's scratches and ink stains on the desk, a reminder of how you'd accidentally scribbled past the page’s edge in a sickness induced delirium. it’ll leave permanent marks; at this point you’re convinced you’re writing yourself a secret letter to the future. have you confessed to gojo yet? that’s what it’ll say. right now, it just says something unintelligible.

hopefully you’re still literate in the future, but you’re half-convinced you’re getting dumber every moment you spend caged in with this dunce of a genius.

you lean back in your chair, pulling your knee up to your chest. your pencil falls to the desk with a faint clack, soft yellow lamplight washing your faces warm as gojo scoots closer and peers over your shoulder at your progress. he has a pandora’s box of knowledge in that blue-tinted brain of his; he just refuses to apply it. it’s cocky, spoiled ego in the finest. you should hate him for it.

he snickers. "you're dumb."

"you missed forty-three notes." you countered, shooting him a glare as you point at the disappointed looking character next to a review of the stats from the song he was playing on his phone. gojo grimaces, pulling back like a sad little dog, floppy white hair covering his eyes.

"i was playing with my thumbs."

you ignore him, leaning against the wooden desk before hiding your face in your elbows again and letting out a long sigh. your hot breath curls up in the confines of your body, making you recoil slightly; uncomfortably. heat is the last thing you need with the fever you’re pretty sure you’re running.

"i hate being sick. and i hate studying. can we please give up?" you complained, glancing up at him out of the corner of your eye. your hair obscures your vision, so you can only see a faint glint of amusement in his azure irises as he studies you for a moment before scooting his chair back and standing up. without another word, he leaves the room.

wow. okay.

a moment of silence passes as you sit there, lamenting over your runny nose and the way you sound like you're about to cough a lung up every time you breathe, until you hear the soft sounds of his feet padding on the floorboards coupled with what you presume is ice clinking against glass, signaling his return. you lift your head, blinking blearily. each time you breathe in through your nose, your nostrils burn like dry ice pressed against your skin, only adding to your misery. the dreary weather outside isn't helping much, either.

the cold glass leaves a dark stain on the table, an uneven circle of condensation that soothes the aching in your fingers when your sick skin makes contact. gojo pops the can open, and you watch as he picks the glass up, tilting it to the side to pour the soda in.

“why are you holding it like that?” you asked curiously, a small yawn escaping your lips as you lean against the table. he glances down at you, a cheeky, tiny smile gracing his lips. the sound of bubbles fizzling and popping fills the cozy, cramped room; that cool, sweet liquid seems like the only thing that’ll cure your nasty cough.

“pouring it like this prevents the bubbles from escaping. you like it fizzy, don’t you?” he grins.

condensation clings to his fingers like morning dew upon flower petals as he sets the glass down. you watch the ice cubes bobble about in the soda, clinking against the cup like a mini wind chime. you’re sore from sitting in the same place with terrible posture for three hours, and there’s an ache between your fingers from gripping your pencil tight while you write.

you take a sip from the glass, letting out a contented sigh as the refreshing liquid drains down your scratchy throat. it’s not lemon honey tea for a cold, but it certainly helps. next to you, gojo takes his seat again, grabbing the throw blanket on your bed and tossing it over his legs before he grabs his pencil again. he’s using one of those short pencils, shaved down to a stub from months of use. you always offer him a mechanical pencil, but he refuses.

you sit there, waiting for him to get back to work before you realize he’s staring at you, legs crossed beneath the fuzzy blanket.

you frowned, shifting to face him as you lean against the desk. “what?”

“you’ll take care of me if i get sick too, right?” he tilts his head, like a curious bird.

“why would you get sick?”

you’re too relate to react when he makes a mad grab for your glass of soda, holding it out of your reach. a few droplets spill out and spatter onto your notebook, forcing a sigh from your lips.

“gojo…” you groaned, rubbing your temple with your fingers and praying for strength.

he just smirks, taking a lengthy sip. you watch his adam’s apple bob as a bit of condensation builds on his chin and trickles down his throat.

“you know what? i dont feel like studying either.” he announces, setting the glass back down on the wooden table with a loud thunk.

“so? what do you wanna do?” you huffed petulantly.

“download project sekai, and we can do a co-op live.”

“…you’re kidding.”

[emeryleewho]

Hi Tumblr,

Help me out a bit? I'm seeing a huge uptick in people saying that "trans romcoms" and "happy trans books" don't exist, and like... I published one two years ago and the paperback is still readily available at bookstores, so this is just not true?

My battle to get Meet Cute Diary recognized as a romcom is literally still ongoing. People keep arguing it MUST be an issue book just because the characters are PoC and trans, but it's literally a comedy, it doesn't "educate" on trans issues, and his being trans is NOT the plot of the story.

Anyway, I don't need anyone to buy the book or read the book or like the book. I just want people to acknowledge that it exists so I can stop 1. having to explain to people that it's not an issue book. The fact that it doesn't deal in trans suffering is actually the highlight, yes. and 2. dealing with people blatantly erasing the fight and progress I made within the industry just to get this book published.

Anyway, this is the cover. If you could just share it around and let people know that we *are* allowed to write trans romcoms and one already exists and has had bookshelf space in stores across the U.S. and ALSO in several other countries, that would be great, thanks!

[fug0th]

Pst! You know what time it is? New cosplay time! I decided to remake one of if not my favorite cosplays in my collection, Naven Nuknuk from Epithet Erased

This has been by far my most time consuming build (as well as expensive). this cosplay took a total of 279 hours over the span of roughly 8 months to make. That time doesn't include redoing sections or details that didn't make it into the final look.

And now for a detailed look at this whole outfit because dang, I put so many tiny details in.

Starting off with the earring and beads, I used a tequnic called lampwork to make them. The best way I can explain lampworking is like miniature glassblowing

Lampwork uses glass rods heated in a flame to create generally small pieces like beads or buttons. Lampworking can be incredibly detailed. While I'm still fairly beginner at all of this I was able to learn a tequnic called implosion to make the flowers look more 3 dimensional. I also used lampworking to make the buttons on the undershirt!

I did all the 3d modeling for parts like the glasses and the belt buckle. (Stealing pictures from my Instagram because the progress tracker i use corrupted my images)

While I don't usually focus on the 3d modeling in my builds it's a huge passion of mine. After making a model of the belt buckle I put my 3d print into casting clay. After carefully removing it I poured tin in to make the final belt buckle.

I also taught myself basic leather working and tooling to add some apple blossom inspired designs onto the belt and painted it.

Next thing I think I should talk about is the embroidery. I wanted to incorporate more details about naven into his outfit. After asking jello some questions we came to the conclusion that the embroidery should be lillies and carnations. Because of my constant insanity I hand embroidered everything. I also did some embroidery on the pants and used an embroidery floss that changes colors in the sun for fun.

Before I get any questions about materials I'll add in, the white shirt and embroidery are both silk. I struggle to embroider with cotton dye to the sound and feeling it makes, and I felt like being fancy so silk shirt too. The pants are a cotton twill (pretty much jean fabric without the indigo) and the green strips are silk. A perfect Segway into the tatting and knitting!

For those who don't know tatting is a traditional form of lace making found in many different places around the world. There are 2 main forms of tatting, needle tatting and shuttle tatting, I tend to use shuttle tatting due to how nice and portable it is. I thought tatting would be fitting to add to navens outfit due to it's other name, farmers lace.

And now for the big beast of this outfit, the knitting. Like with everything else in this outfit I dyed the yarn myself. It's 80 percent wool to 20 percent silk blend.

Huge thanks to jello for suggesting so many ideas, this outfit wouldn't be nearly as cool as it is otherwise.

Anyways I hope all y'all like the outfit! I had so much fun making this insanity

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Sydney's search for connection.

The more I rewatch The Bear I can't tell if I'm overthinking or if this show is so layered it's near perfection.

I love the themes of mothers, nourishment, generational trauma, loss, showing up for people, caring for people, mental health. I could carry on...

But I love this small moment in 2x03 Sundae and its theme surrounding mothers, loss, and needing others. We're told that Syd wants to make up for a failed business throughout the show but beneath that is another longing.

This scene tells me about Syd's need for connection. But being with people requires vulnerability which is one of Syd's struggles.

Based on what the show tells us, Syd doesn't have the best experience being vulnerable with others. There are always awkward but funny moments when Syd connects with people.

Since she's experienced loss at such a young age, it's almost foreign to her to sympathize, not that she can't sympathize she just doesn't express it properly. The first moment in 1x02 when she awkwardly apologizes to Richie about Mikey's death. The second moment in 2x02 Pasta is when she says to Marcus, "It was just a hat?"

A third moment dismisses Carmy's empathy for her mother's passing. Syd's lesson is that being surrounded by people is sharing a loss together. I'm sure in season 3 with Marcus' mom's passing, this is her chance to be there for someone.

We won't always have the most rewarding experience with people but we have to keep trying.

We can't blame Syd for such awkwardness. She's an only child and alone is a safety net. The opposite of having a psychopath behind her yelling, pushing, screaming...

But the safety of being alone fails and she's back to working with people again. This time she works for Carmy. It's a risk but she has ambition and urgency. To erase a past failure. To change the pattern. Because being surrounded by people can make her successful- it fills a void.

What I love about Sydney is that there's more of an awareness. She's aware she has to change a pattern, and be part of a team. Sydney tells her dad in 2x02 that she's at a different place, not alone, in his house. She has a partner. Sydney has a chance to be vulnerable with Carmy and, despite its challenges, she is willing to do so.

But like Carmy, her mental health isn't the best. As the show progresses and what 2x10 gave us I hope we dive deeper into Sydney's head.

[lunar-years]

Okay. Let's talk Jamie and Roy getting beers and being idiots.

I know we are all still processing that whirlwind of a finale. I'm understanding that a lot of people hate the Roy & Jamie scene because it is 1) backslide-y (true) 2) they treat Keeley like a prize to be won (true) and 3) it's OOC (I actually disagree with this one, but I can understand why it's complicated). I want to start off by saying I completely see where this opinion is coming from and I respect everyone who just hates the scene because it shows normally kind characters being very unkind to each other etc. This is less me arguing against that as it is me trying to articulate (at great length, sorry) why it not only worked for me, but I genuinely liked it.

I like to think I strike a balance between loving everything the show has done and hating overwhelmingly on a show I claim to enjoy, but sure, you could definitely argue that I'm just giving my favorite characters the benefit of the doubt, or making excuses for them, because they're my favorite characters. I'll admit I'm historically very forgiving of all the main characters' many fuck-ups on Ted Lasso, but that's because I think the show works best when it emphasizes how kindness, forgiveness, friendship and love can still operate between imperfect, flawed people. I like seeing them make realistic mistakes much more than I like everyone handling everything perfectly, I'll bite.

So, back to Jamie and Roy. I enjoyed their finale plot because despite them making a world of mistakes, the regression felt very, very human. I don't agree at all with the take that this somehow erased all the progress they've made this season or the friendship the show has lovingly crafted between them. In fact, I think this actively reiterated it! (Note: I am operating with my ot3 goggles on at all times, so I'm going to write this with that at least partially in mind, but I think the gist of it works even if you ignore the bits that get a little shippy.)

For both Jamie and Roy, Keeley and their love for her is a major beacon guiding them. I think that is the crisp, clear thing in both of their heads this episode: Keeley is the love of my life. And they both believe that wholeheartedly, and they both want to be with her. (and it's goofy to pretend this came out of nowhere for Jamie/since when is Jamie still in love with her/etc. because he literally told her and us this last season and nothing that has happened since has indicated otherwise, btw.) But there's also something else now, which is their relationship with each other, battling with their Keeley thoughts. It's like, in Roy's head, for instance, I imagine there are two wolves: on the one hand he loves Keeley, and wants to be with her, and plans to win back her heart. On the other hand, there's his love and care for Jamie Tartt, which is much less defined and inarticulate and maybe still a little repressed, but just as overpowering. His love for Keeley feels so simple and clear in comparison, while his love for Jamie is something complicated and unsure, and in this episode, he's leaning hard into the first to avoid unpacking the second.

So Roy starts off strong. He sees Jamie with Keeley in the hallway and he doesn't flip out!! Instead, he approaches Jamie calmly, and invites him out for beers. Think about how different this is from his reaction to Jamie's love confession to Keeley in season 2. This is Roy's growth in action, and it's a resounding sign of just how important Jamie is to Roy now. Even when he is feeling jealous of the woman he loves potentially leaving him behind for a man he loves (a completely natural reaction, let's be so real, if not a "good" one), he also knows that for as much as he wants to be with Keeley, he doesn't want to lose his friendship with Jamie.

As for Jamie, I know some people took his reaction and subsequent response to Nate's question as like, shock at the realization that he and Roy are actually friends now, which I agree is something that had to have come earlier in the timeline (what was Mom City if not that) and would seem very out of place at this point. What I saw it as instead was Jamie's brain more just. sort of short-circuiting? Because: holy shit isn't this the best day ever? First Keeley agreed to go to Brazil with me and now Roy is asking me on a date for beers? this is so sound. This invite is out of place behavior from Roy even within the parameters of their friendship, because they still have a match to win and Roy has banned Jamie from beers as part of his training and despite them being close now I find it hard to believe that Roy often comes up to him right there in dressing room to ask him to grab a beer with no pretense.

Therefore, they're already walking into that bar in completely different head-spaces. Jamie isn't planning to discuss Keeley, and for Roy that is his major intention behind the evening. Jamie is nervous and downing his beer, and Roy is internally panicking, I'm imagining, over when and how to bring Keeley up. I think Roy is thinking: Well, I don't intend to stop pursuing Keeley, I genuinely don't want Jamie's feelings to be hurt when I get back together with her (and yes, it is a huge presumption for him to assume Keeley's going to eventually take him back. But I think it's also an understandable one), so I've got to tell Jamie I care about him, and that I'm going to keep going after Keeley, and he needs to be okay with that so that this won't get in the way of our friendship, which I also desperately need and am unwilling to give up. In his mind, Jamie is of course going to accept all of this, because Roy and Keeley are soulmates, which Jamie will clearly recognize deep down because it is so obvious and right and anyway, Jamie always does what Roy tells him to do (again, this is all misguided thinking. But we can see how Roy's anxious little brain that's bad at processing feelings and holding space for emotions could get himself here, can't we?).

So again, we start off strong with Roy saying he's proud of Jamie and them both thanking one another. But then Roy's blurting out nonsense about how Jamie just needs to pull himself out of the running and just let Roy be with Keeley. Which is obviously not on. And Jamie responds, simply, with No. I'd argue this is also a huge step for Jamie. Jamie really doesn't tell Roy no anymore, he doesn't tell anyone no. Jamie has spent so much of his time since coming back to Richmond working to be the person everyone around him wants and expects him to be. This is him fighting for something he wants for once, doing what is best for him. It was a fabulous progression to see. In the moment, boy does it work Roy up, because why is Jamie not agreeing with me, Jamie always agrees with me? but obviously at this point, Jamie is in the right. His relationship with Keeley was no less meaningful than Roy's just because Roy says it was, Roy doesn't have any claim on her, and there's no real reason Jamie should not try and shoot his shot with Keeley if Roy is going to do the same.

Here's where things start to spiral. Established flaws we know about Roy: he's competitive. He's bad at voicing his feelings productively. And he is territorial about the people he loves, a category that safely includes both Jamie and Keeley at this point in time, for better and sometimes worse. Yes, his next actions are grossly possessive over Keeley, yes Roy has made a lot of effort over the past year to do and be better than that, to break free of that cycle. But look, it's not a linear process. He's going to still mess up, and he does here. In fact he's downright mean, weaponizing Keeley against Jamie and throwing having sex with Keeley a month ago into Jamie's face, bragging about it, boasting. Same old cycle, same old patterns of ego-driven, prideful mistakes.

Which promptly prompts Jamie to also fuck up by bringing up the leak. It's a concentrated response intended to get a suitable rise out of Roy, because Roy has really, genuinely hurt him here, and Jamie knows bringing up that video is the one thing that will hurt Roy just as much in turn. It's not the right thing to do, obviously, but again, it's such a human thing to do. Hurt the person who's hurt you right back, even if you're hurting someone else (Keeley) by extension. Mind you, Jamie came here expecting a hangout (/date) with Roy over a rare beer, and instead he got Roy being a complete asshole and lecturing nonsense at him out of seemingly nowhere. He reacts to this change-up, well, not greatly. There is something so messy and emotionally complicated happening here and it hinges on how very much Jamie and Roy care about each other, not negates it.

Keeley, queen that she is, rejects them both out of hand and kicks them out not the curb immediately because they're both being complete idiots, acting like they're so gracious in giving her the honor and privilege of choosing between them. Not to mention they've clearly got something going on between them they haven't worked through and that sure as shit isn't her problem, is it? Keeley (presumably, and I wish we had seen this) calls them out their shit and tosses them right back out the door.

Which leaves Jamie and Roy to lament how they've let their egos get away from them, they've been idiots (which they acknowledge immediately) and decide that now they should go for kebabs, presumably to actually hangout this time, not to interrupt themselves with inflated talk about who "deserves" Keeley more. They both screwed up, they acknowledge it, and all they can do is try again tomorrow, and in the meantime, go on that kebab date.

I guess....I can just see where both of them are coming from? it's not mature behavior, obviously, it's maybe not what we would have liked to have seen from them in the finale episode of the show. But it was regression that I didn't feel impeded their overall progress. Roy in particular was being a complete dick about it, but that's why the very next morning he's finally knocking on the Diamond Dogs' door. And honestly, that conversation was heartbreaking. When Roy admitted he'd expected, after a year of putting in the work, to be a whole new person...god. This is a man who still completely hates himself, to the point where he can't quite grasp that he can be better where he's at now, that he doesn't have to transform magically into someone new in order to do right by himself and others. And so he has to consciously determine, once again, to do better, be better.

The message is: change isn't linear, you're going to fuck-up, and fall back into old patterns. What matters is trying every day to do better together, and be better for one another, than you were the day before. That is the meeting point all three sides of the royjamiekeeley triangle were heading towards by the end of the episode.

So yes, it was rushed, because no one gets much screen time in a finale (and the overarching issue with this season anyway is god awful pacing. The last three episodes could've easily been the second half of the season, while the first half of the season was stretched out and largely extraneous). And yes, I would've liked a more thoughtful follow-up conversation between Roy and Keeley or all three of them. My biggest issue was that we didn't get to hear Keeley's voice hardly at all. I would at the very least have liked to have seen her setting them straight at her kitchen table, because turning both of them down signifies very important growth in her, too, and I would've liked exploring that more explicitly. So it wasn't perfect. But I still liked it, I really did.

[blue-grama]

Aof Noppharnach, carelessness & living with yourself after the worst has happened

I'm doing a late-to-the-party catchup on Aof Noppharnach's work after falling in love with Moonlight Chicken, and this isn't a unique observation or anything, but I'm really in love with his preoccupation with how people pick up the pieces and move forward after the worst thing happens.

The conversation between Day and his dad about Night's guilt over putting Day in the position to get into his accident is in the same territory of what Tian is going through in A Tale of 1000 Stars. Neither Tian nor Night were directly responsible for what happened -- Aof doesn't seem to go in for cut-and-dried villians -- but they both feel culpable. And, most interestingly, both were simply careless. Neither meant for harm to come to anyone. If they'd been a little luckier, none would have. But they weren't and now they have to grapple with how to come back from that moment. For Jim, it's a little different. Jim wasn't careless, but he let Beam get on that ferry in the midst of a fight. Later, he regrets that choice, because if he'd insisted Beam stay and fight it out, Beam wouldn't have died -- another unfixable choice that, with better luck and more time, might have been fixed. (And another choice that lives in a gray area, because it wasn't fully Jim's choice. But in Beam's absence, who else can he blame?) Even Bad Buddy is about this in some ways - what Ming did to Pran's mom is the original wound that echoes down the generations. In that case, Ming doesn't make any attempt at amends, Dissaya can't let go, and the two families get stuck in a permanent feud. It takes a new generation to untwist that particular snarl.

And then there's the other theme that's pretty prominant in what I've seen of Aof's work so far, which is "I thought I had more time." Last Twilight's been deep into that theme, between Rung's suicide and Day's progressive loss of vision. It shows up in ATOTS with Tian granted new life after he stopped planning for the future, and it shows up in Moonlight Chicken's multiple stories of loss. In many ways, they're the same theme in different flavors. How do you move forward when something's unfixable? When the worst has happened and you can't erase it? When time is up? Ming and Dissaya dig in. Tian tries to live someone else's life. Jim walls himself off, becoming the person everyone leans on, but never becoming vulnerable to someone else. Day locks himself in his room. Night tries to be the big brother he should have been.

But life and Aof Nopparnach have a way of challenging those coping mechanisms. Tian has to make his own choices and find his own way forward. Jim has to open himself up to the possibility of happiness again because he can't actually be there for everyone without intimacy (see how Wen helps him understand Li Ming). Day has to come to terms with his new reality. As for Night, we'll see. Day is interpreting his efforts in the worst possible light, but that conversation with their Dad may have put a crack in the armor. Would getting Day's forgiveness help Night forgive himself? Can he forgive himself if Day never does?

It's never clear-cut and the struggle is always in both repairing connections to the community and reparing your own self-perception. In Aof's works, you've got to do the work to change, yes, but self-sacrifice isn't ever enough, nor is it effective: You've got to see yourself as forgivable, too.

[danmeibrainrot]

❗SAEZURU CH 55 SPOILERS❗

Doumeki returning to confiscate Yashiro's cigarette while admitting he doesn't 'like it' marks a significant progression. From the previous panels it seems evident that Doumeki has realized Yashiro's emotional vulnerability, realizing that Yashiro is only emotionally intimate with him. Despite previously attributing his presence to orders, the latest chapter shows a shift. With Tsunakawa's directive to stop observing Yashiro, Doumeki lacks that excuse.

After the time skip, Doumeki's connection with Yashiro seemed tethered to a sense of duty (or so he purposely made everyone around him including Yashiro believe), as he often cited orders as the reason for maintaining proximity. However, when Tsunakawa intervenes in this chapter and instructs Doumeki to discontinue his surveillance of Yashiro, it erases the impersonal justification he once clung to. In the absence of external directives, the logical course for post time skip Doumeki would have been to withdraw, and silently figure out another excuse to stay either by his side or 'observe' him from a distance without Yashiro knowing (like he has all these years gathering current information about him from informers).

Surprisingly, Doumeki doesn't follow the expected path after Tsunakawa's directive. He does leave after informing Yashiro, but then he comes back without the usual excuse of orders or duty, opening the door for a more personal understanding. His comment about disliking Yashiro's cigarette habit adds to this, especially when it comes to Yashiro who is prone to taking things at face value (especially now that he is sure that Doumeki holds no love for him), would perceive Doumeki's return and candid comment as genuine. The shift from a duty-bound presence to a more personal and emotionally invested one challenges Yashiro's understanding of their dynamic, introducing a layer of complexity and depth to their evolving relationship.

But then again, just like Yashiro took Doumeki's comment about him not liking Yashiro having sex with anyone else as a way of Doumeki disliking him and his sexual promiscuity, so he might take this as something Doumeki dislikes about him as well.

This is still a huge step for both time skip Doumeki and their relationship and I cannot wait to see how this unfolds in ch 56!

Ahh the cliffhanger 😭

[syrena-del-mar]

Echoes of Guilt: Exploring the Thin Line Between Tee's Redemption and Salvation in Dead Friend Forever, Episode 11

This week, I'm really enjoying what DFF is trying to say about the humanity in making shitty choices and having to live with the outcome. The framing of Tee's journey, about how in trying to survive the hell he's in with his father, he inadvertently causes Non's death, gives a reason to why he makes the decisions that he does, rather than excusing them. Arguably, this was never supposed to be Tee's redemption arc, rather it's the story of his salvation and reformation.

Non isn't meant to be an ingénue in this story. He's flawed and he makes some bad decisions, but he's still a victim. Yes, Non has, to a degree, had his own autonomy digging himself further into the shithole, but in the end, his actions were all reactions to an already existing shithole that he was forced into. While the bullying may have not started with Tee, man, did the kid know exactly how to lay a trap and let others burn in it. He was calculating, so much more than his peers, likely because he has been dealing with shitty adults in his own personal life. Before White, Tee was turning into the terrible adults that he was surrounded by. This episode is explicitly showing the journey of Tee's realization of the consequences of his actions and his attempt to change while still dealing with a dirty past.

The misdirection of the Redemption Arc in Tee's story

First things first, the redemption arc deals with the characterization of a deep internal struggle within the character. A character undergoing a redemption arc deals with personal guilt, remorse and the desire for atonement. The redemption journey is usually initiated by the character themselves after being confronted with their flaws or wrongdoings. Broken down into steps, a redemption arc typically involve: (1) a flaw, (2) acknowledgement of the effect of their actions, (3) seeking atonement, (4) struggles with guilt or remorse, (5) significant growth because of their struggles, (6) tangible manifestations of their acts of redemption, (7) seeking forgiveness. A redemption arc typically resolves when the character achieves some form of personal redemption, whether it be through forgiveness, closure, or inner peace. Redemption arcs emphasize personal responsibility and the inner journey of the character.

The reality is that Tee doesn't redeem himself. He never has the opportunity to because Non dies two weeks after Tee delivered him to Uncle Joe. Non's dead (as far as Tee and we, as an audience,know so far). Sure, Tee was working towards redemption, with his several attempts to save Non from his Uncle's grasp, but he'll never reach redemption because Non is gone. He doesn't even get the chance to seek forgiveness, nor I'm sure that he needs any forgiveness from Non. The guilt that is consuming him, the realization and acceptance of how much pain he has caused a fellow human being is not redemption, it's remorse. And you first have to have remorse to find the road to redemption. So while episode 11 might have shown that Tee was starting on his redemption arc, by the end of the episode, he's still not redeemed. In comparison to all the pain that he has caused, working a second job to help Non get out of the debt he caused doesn't erase the extent of harassments and suffering he subjected Non to. Here, the story was never truly centered on Tee's journey to atone for the pain he caused Non but rather it seems to make it a point to show his guilt. That's not redemption.

Also just from a writing stand point, Non's confrontation, and ultimately, Tee's decision to attempt to get Non out of being his Uncle's slave is part of Tee's progression, but is not the climax of his story. Even if you consider Tee's emerging guilt after realizing that his uncle was planning to sell Non for body parts, it's only serves as a catalyst for Tee to realize and confront the pain he has caused. The true change that we see in Tee comes the moment he meets White. White's presence is the turning point in Tee's life, that makes him want to change.

The initiation of Tee's Salvation Arc

The Salvation arc of a character focuses more on the development on the relationship between the "savior" and the one in need of salvation. Particularly, this arc highlights the external forces that shape a character's transformation, leading to a new direction or purpose in life. The resolution often involves the one in need of salvation finding a sense of change, sometimes without ever fully achieving complete redemption. Both arcs deal with the change and growth in a character, yet while the redemption arc often leads to a cathartic resolution where the character finds peace or closer, the salvation arc focuses more on external influences and the power of compassion. This arc doesn't particularly signify that that the character will fully find true redemption. Instead the character may become reformed having changed into a better person and acknowledged their wrongdoing, but not particularly working to make amends for their past mistakes.

No person exists in isolation and Tee's change is interconnected with White's appearance. Tee frames it himself. "Since I met White, I started knowing what happiness is. I started having my goal. Wanting to start over. I wanted to become a better person." That very moment is the climax in Tee's story, the moment where Tee needed to make a critical choice of who he wanted to be. Every moment that he had to witness Non's suffering and ultimately come to the realization that he is in large part the reason for Non's death is a lesson that he's learned of has shown him who he no longer wants to be. Non is the journey, but it's only assists in Tee's growth, making him ready to be a better person for the moment that he meets White.

Tee was going to stew in the regret and remorse he felt for Non's death, but Tee wasn't making amends FOR him. He was stagnant. He accepted his culpability and thought that being unhappy would be the proper punishment that he deserved. Yet, he didn't seek to right the wrongs, he didn't reach out to Non's family to let them know their baby boy had died in obscurity. That is a far cry from atonement and redemption. Instead, White gave him new purpose and direction in life. Humans are always capable of change, it's just depends on an individual's want or need to do so. Dead Friend Forever seems to be making a message about how even though Tee has the capacity for growth, change, and healing, Tee still has to respond for the pain and hurt he caused beyond Non.

Final Thoughts

While a redemption arc holds many similarities with that of a salvation arc, the exploration of the complexities of human nature are done through two distinct lenses. I don't think Dead Friend Forever is trying to focus on Tee's personal responsibility and inner struggles while ignoring the damage that he did to Non, but rather seems to be making a stand on the effect of external influence and finding personal salvation from connections with others. The very thing that Non had always been denied by Tee and the others, human connections.

Salvation arcs don't automatically make a character likeable, which DFF seems to be aware of, so I don't think it's an attempt to make him another version of a hero for Non. Rather it lays a foundation to Tee, showing his own struggles with his family, his own flaws, and his own attempt at change. It explains Tee's incentives behind his actions, but doesn't create an excuse for them. It not a redemption story, because he doesn't redeem himself. Non's dead and he can't ask for forgiveness from a ghost. His salvation doesn't even come after Non dies, because his inaction after Non's death was still an action. He still takes part in denying Non proper rest, even in death. His change came after where he learned from his wrongs and chooses to no longer do any more harm because of White. Even so, he still played a role in the complete devastation that he caused Non's family. Tee's actions caused a domino effect, where he eventually had a hand in creating New's pain, thirst and revenge.

As Tee has undergone his salvation arc, it highlights the irreversible consequences of his actions and the cycle of violence and retribution. Tee was a victim of his circumstance. Yet, victims can still create more victims. Despite Tee's efforts to change, it's a change that occurred far too late. Tee's death at New's hands would be an end to a cycle of violence and retribution that Tee inadvertently set in motion. If Tee dies in an attempt to save White, his willingness to sacrifice himself for White will represent a departure from the violence that defined his past. Ultimately, I think it underscores the harsh reality that, despite efforts to seek forgiveness or become a changed man, some sins cannot be undone.

(tagging @slayerkitty for DFF's meta roundup)

[bird-inacage]

Only Friends: Why Ray's reaction speaks volumes about his feelings for Sand, rather than his feelings for Mew

It's natural to think Ray reacted so strongly in the fight with Boston because of his residual feelings and loyalty to Mew. But let's be clear, this revelation doesn't adversely affect Mew in any immediate way if you read this as Ray being upset on Mew's behalf.

Boston's bombshell is instead targeted to hurt Ray specifically. An attempt to make Ray look like a villain and Sand to feel like a victim of Ray's 'deception'. Sand being the unwarranted collateral of this fight.

Why is Ray angry?

So let's break down all the reasons Ray is angry in the first place.

This wasn't Boston's story to tell. He saw and recorded the kiss without their knowledge or consent. He frames it like a 'dirty secret' that Ray intentionally hid from Sand. But it's Ray's right to choose when and if he felt it necessary to share this with Sand, depending on the progression of their relationship.

What Boston is claiming is only partly true. Yes they did kiss. But no, Ray did not 'take Mew's virginity'. Nothing further happened and Boston is embellishing, which implies more gravitas to a 'history' which doesn't exist.

Sand is being fed this information without full context. He doesn't have the benefit of understanding Ray's past (namely his breakdown), the nature of his friendship with Mew. Without it, Ray is going to look categorically bad, especially through the lens of his affectionate behaviour with Sand that day.

The revelation could ruin what potential future there may have been between Ray and Sand, if Sand is driven away. Ray's newfound happiness dashed in an instant.

The initial part of his Ray's reaction is defensive - the shock, the betrayal regarding such an invasion of privacy. Ray's first punch is thrown after "keep track?" The audacity and complete lack of justification felt as to why Boston would even do such a thing. Ray's second attempt to enact violence is when Boston says, "are you going to be two-timing?" I saw the following through his response: 'It's one thing to hurt me. I'm your friend. I know what you're like. But why on earth are you dragging Sand into this? How dare you.'

Attacking Ray's Weak Spot

We can't change our pasts. Whether it was one kiss or years of unrequited feelings - ultimately, nothing became of it. Ray can't erase the fact he did once love Mew (and probably always will in some capacity because of what Mew did for him). But if Ray were to eventually fall in love with Sand, then his romantic feelings for Mew would become past tense. So whatever he felt then would have no bearing on his here and now. Ray shouldn't be made to feel ashamed.

The progress Ray made with Sand this episode has essentially been unravelled through this one act. It's been hugely difficult for Ray to even consider loving anyone other than Mew. He only just started to display inklings of welcoming the idea. We should all be afforded the opportunity to move on. For Boston to use Mew (someone who means so much to Ray symbolically) as ammunition to hurt Sand (someone new he's grown to care about), is pitting his past and future against each other. And it's not fair to do so. Your past doesn't negate what you may do in future. Similarly the future doesn't discredit the past. Both are important for different reasons.

Ray has every right to value both Mew and Sand, because his feelings for each of them will be entirely different in their own right. But what Boston has tried to spin here is a comparison game. 'Ray loves Mew. He's always loved Mew.' The further insinuation being: 'Ray will never find you as important Sand. You're lesser than. You'll never compare in Ray's eyes'. It's simply not Boston's place to say that. How would he know? It's possible that one day Sand could match Ray's love for Mew, surpass it even. But Ray isn't to know that yet.

There's also a palpable air of derision in how Boston delivers this. He makes Ray's feelings out to be a slightly pathetic, sad little obsession, by wording it as "Ray's whole ass is owned by Mew". Reducing Ray's incredibly complex feelings for someone who saved his life to a more superficial pining. The nuances of which Sand won't be aware of.

Hurting Ray by hurting Sand

Not only is Boston trying to tarnish Ray's character by accusing him of misleading and lying to Sand - but in doing so he's humiliating Sand for not being aware of this. If he can tell that Sand has feelings for Ray, he knew this information would hurt an innocent third party. All 'disguised' under a feat of righteousness.

I'm sure Ray is more than aware of how Sand treats him. Sand has been nothing but kind and accommodating where he's concerned. Willing to bend to his will and soften to his demands. Sand absolutely does not deserve to be dragged into any unnecessary drama, (drama which involves a notable part of Ray's history). So Ray is forced to feel somewhat responsible, based purely on the fact that this very 'drama' concerns him.

It's because Ray cares about Sand's feelings, cares about Sand's opinion of him, cares about what Sand feels towards him, and is also concerned by Sand being caught in this crossfire - that Ray is so clearly flustered. No matter what he's done, Sand shouldn't have to suffer along by association. That's not fair on Sand. It's his past in question. It's his best friend doing the damage. And it's because of him that Sand is now getting hurt too.

He can't outright deny it, because part of what Boston is saying is true. (Trying to vehemently defend yourself can sometimes come across even more as an admission of guilt). He can't apologise to Sand, because he hasn't figured out who Sand is to him yet. (If Ray doesn't deem him as a boyfriend at present, then he can't be sorry for liking someone else). The kiss with Mew also relates closely to an absolute rock bottom period of his life, which he probably wasn't ready to share with Sand just yet.

Ray has been made out to be a liar and a cheat and he's just praying that Sand can give him the benefit of the doubt. There's absolutely no way he can possibly explain all the intricacies to Sand in such an instant, but he's allowing Sand to ask him should he wish to. It's the least he can do. But Sand is going through his own internal battle now, and both need time to process what this has led them to realise about how they feel about each other.

[celabi]

Winky face ☆彡 1.8k

This is part of my scummy men thing, but idk when I’ll post that so I’ll just post this early 🤷‍♀️ that probably would have been out if I didn’t get carried away with this 👽 they were supposed to be like 200 words each MAX 🤡

Heizou is not ashamed to try and exploit his high rank in the 'important person' list to try and get what he wants— and being a member of the student council team means that he can get away with almost just about anything. He grins to himself, and raises up his fist to knock on the door. His fingers are twitching in excitement, and the wait for approval is almost antagonising to him, to say the least. So when he's granted access by the professor to enter with a loud 'Come in!', he nearly skips in his step to rush open the door, and walk inside. Many curious eyes turn to him, but he likes the attention, so he doesn't stop, and excitedly strides over to the teachers desk. "Hello ma'am! I'm afraid [name] will need to miss out on this lecture... she's needed in the council office. As soon as possible, preferably." A lie, but of course, nobody here needs to know that. He turns his head, and hardly needs to scan around the room because it's almost instant that his mischievous eyes lock onto your tired ones. He winks, and uses his finger to motion you to come over when the professor agrees to his request with no questions asked, just what he wanted.

When you sigh in defeat, and get up from your seat and start to gather all of your belongings, he just stands there and stares, stares at your delicate hands as they move around to grab your things, stares at your soft legs when you bend down to pick up that eraser you just accidentally dropped, stares at your pretty little face when you walk over to the door and reach for the handle— he draws a deep breath, bids your teacher and class goodbye with a careless looking wave, and quickly jogs over to follow you. "What's the rush?" You're already half way down the hallway when he turns around after shutting the door, so he hurries up on his feet to catch up, only slowing down when he's finally matched your pace. "We have all the time in the world right now." He happily grins, reaches for your book bag before you can detest, and hoists it over his shoulder.

"You might, but I have stuff to do...like trying to continue my education and progress in life." You don't bother to turn your head when his hand finds place on the lower part of your back, but you do however, start to speed up your steps when he slowly begins to lower it down and closer to your butt. Heizou ever so slightly pouts in disappointment when his advancement is brushed off by you so easily, but he quickly covers it up with his usual cheeky grin, and doesn't bother to comment on his loss. You turn the corner, and he takes the chance to step try and get close— but it's either that you had failed to notice that how his body is closer to yours then it probably should have been, or that you just didn't care, he's just happy it's working. "Ouch, like an arrow straight through my poor little heart." He clutches his shirt to add onto his playful act, and he swears that if he squints his eyelids hard enough, he can see a ghost of a smile on your soft looking lips. 'Got her...'

"So..." you clear your throat, and quickly gaze at him from the corner of your eyes, which he is already staring back at. "Where are we really going?" You ask, and Heizou blinks, before tilting his head to the side like a confused puppy— and if he wasn't already so high up in his pride, you almost want to call him cute. "Oh? Whatever do you mean, my dear?" He places a finger on his chin and taps it in thought, and can almost feel himself swooning when you look away and playfully roll your eyes at him.

"Well... if i am correct, which i know that i most certainly am, the councillors office is—" you abruptly stop walking, and he does too, watching with an amused smirk as you turn around and point your index finger in the direction that you had both just walked through. "—that way, meaning we are going the completely wrong way— and considering that you haven't said a single thing about that..." you trail off, and he would applaud you for your observation skills, if not for his hands gripping onto the hem of his shirt out of excitement. 'A women after my own heart... how sexy.' He tries to quell the fast beating of his chest but good god, you really were just perfect, a perfect women, everything that he's ever needed and more... he's really not sure how much longer of a wait he can endure before it finally gets too much for him to handle. He can already feel his patience running thin with each tick of the clock it's that antagonising. He gulps, and tried to rid of the lump that formed in his throat. "...you perhaps have some... ulterior motives?" you finish off, and he hums in delight.

"Ah, like always, you're right on the money! That's why i like you so much." He snaps his fingers, and nods to himself, the vibrant maroon strands of his hair fall down over his eyes, which he quickly dismisses with his hand. "Oh! And would you look at that, it seems we have already reached our destination." His chromatic eyes, full of nothing but mischief, look somewhat unsettling as they almost bore into your own, and makes you debate with yourself wether you should really turn around to where he's pointing or not. But of course, it's like Heizou can sense your hesitation, so he ushers you to do so with the offer of that charming smile. He knows he's got you, as he watches as you sigh in defeat, and give in. It's a storage closet, one with an old looking sign that says 'Authorised personal only' plastered right on the door no less. You blink cautiously, and quickly turn around to question his motives, but he's quicker, and is already reaching for the handle and pushing open the door, grabbing your wrist and pulling you in with him. "Hey—!"

It kind of smells, probably from everything crowding the room and stopping the vents from allowing clean air to pass through, it's also very dusty, like it hasn't had a proper clean in maybe years— and over the sounds of you hacking away at your lungs after you accidentally inhaled some of the dust particles that spread around from your sudden movements, you can faintly hear how the creaky door closes shut behind you, fantastic, now it's dark too. It's quiet for a moment, too quiet that you wonder if Heizou is still even here with you— but as you're about to call out for him to confirm, something is suddenly grabbing ahold of your waist, and pulling in. You squeal in surprise, but that quickly turns into a grunt when your back comes in contact with something firm. "It's pitch black in here... we should stay close together." His tone of voice... your body trembles as little shivers crawl up your spine, it's so... unnerving, in a way. He follows his own advice of being close, and presses his chest more firmly against you— the buttons to his shirt almost dig into your skin, but right now, being too nervous to say anything, you just bear the slight discomfort it brings you. His hands, even though small and slim, make you feel almost tiny in his grasp as they wander over the flesh of your hips and around your body— until his arms are caging you in tightly, so tight that to even think about trying to slither out is almost an embarrassing thought. Because to put it simply— he has you trapped.

"Heizou... stop playing around already. Did you really pull me out of class to just mess with me? Let me go so i can do something productive with my time." It sounds mean, but you're on edge, and he knows that— probably by the slight quiver in your voice, one which you're not sure formed from either the tense and eerie atmosphere that has suddenly clouded over the room— or the way Heizou's warm breath skims over the skin of your neck from just how close he is. Either way, goosebumps start to arise on your arms and legs. "S-seriously... I have to study. Exams are coming up soon and— and I can't afford to be wasting my time right now..." he doesn't respond, but the way the side of his head drops onto your tense shoulder is almost a wordless answer enough. You listen anxiously as he takes in a drawn breath, and if it weren't for your current situation— you'd probably crack a joke about how it seems like he's sniffing you because of the way his nose presses up against your skin.

"...are you aware of just how aromatic you smell?" Ah... so he was sniffing you. You shift around uncomfortably at the thought, but he keeps you in place. His chest is starting to rise and fall faster then it probably should be, but so is yours— and you're one hundred and ten percent sure that he can hear the pulsating beat of your heart increasing with each passing second from the place which he stands (which is not very far away, whatsoever). Your aroma is so sweet, he thinks, and shamelessly stuffs his nose back into your neck, where he's able to breathe in your scent again at a more close up level. So sweet that, he swears his hips are moving on their own, as they softly jerk forward and grind against your ass. So sweet that he blames the little moans he lets fall past his lips, on you, and your intoxicating smell, that has his hands running down your stomach and towards your crotch out of his control. Really, he can't help it... honest. You can feel how his cock starts to erect in his pants, and press up against you— making you whine in embarrassment. "Ah— come on, Heizou, s-seriously. I'm telling you, you need to let me go before someone hears us..."

"Well, my—" he grunts, and teasingly trails his hand down further, until his fingers are met with the elastic band on your pants, which he wastes no time slipping past and gliding his hand lower, where he finally, after what felt like decades, acquires what he has been looking forward to this entire time... your pussy. "—my intuition is telling me that... you're all i'll ever need, baby." You had him waiting for so long... surely you wouldn't mind if he just, pushed aside your panties and... took what he wanted? Right?

[bikenesmith]

# wednesday spoilers

posting this for the cherik lot who don't read comics because i think its very funny whenever there's just randomly a cherik fix-it premise in canon

context: this is from jean grey (2023) #1, which just came out (aug 23). jean's recently died again (i guess? you know how it is), and this mini series is about her floating between life and death, psychically exploring her past and trying to see where things went "wrong" (both for herself and for mutantkind). What If...?: Jean Grey, or: Jean Writes AU Fanfiction About Herself. it slaps so far!

in this issue she wonders what would've happened if her younger self hadn't erased her own and the other original x-men's memories of their journey into the future, and if she'd kept the expanded abilities she gained during it

that thought experiment doesn't go great! jean basically lobotomizes erik, aiming to ensure that he is no longer a threat to mutantkind's chances of survival. charles "hits the roof" over this + assumedly either kicks the o5 out or makes so much of an issue that the o5 feel the need to cut ties. things progressively go more and more off the rails as jean tries to use mind control and memory wiping to fix every problem.

at one point, the o5 abduct some children they met as adults in the future (kitty pryde, danielle moonstar, and sam guthrie) "for their safety". they go back to the mansion to give them to charles to take care of....who is with erik!! bc he took him back to the mansion!! + put his mind back together as best he could!! 😭 erik is physically disabled from the attack + uses a wheelchair like charles'.

also lets take a moment to zero in on this painting of erik on the wall.

how much time has passed? when did charles get this commissioned? could charles have painted it???? or is it a self portrait that erik painted while recovering????? SO many questions