#doing these is fun. i keep getting the urge to start writing them at 4am when i should be asleep. i have problems

[waffliesinyoface]

continuing the trend of nonsensical narutoposting, i'm going to share my headcanons for how self-reflective and/or emotionally health all of the akatsuki are. 

itachi: this man has no self reflection skills at all. he thinks he is Fine. if you really pressed him, he might admit to having some "slightly" "controlling tendencies". But other people are wrong anyways, so really, he's just being polite. This is a massive understatement, and is only one of the many, many things wrong with him. (“I’m a pacifist :(,” says Itachi, "Violence is wrong,” he says, genjutsu-ing a man into being mentally eaten by crows until he dies, “I wonder how itouto is doing,” he wonders, casually setting a man on fire.)

kisame: above average self-reflection skills. he has correctly deduced that he is depressed and a little paranoid. however he is also resigned to it, because that's the default state for most ninjas, especially ones from Mist. Probably does not realize that some of his issues are giant red berserk buttons.

deidara: mentally stable? ehhh *vague hand gesture*. honest with himself? he knows exactly what he's about. him bitching about his job and coworkers constantly is probably very grating, but emotionally healthy for him. good for him.

sasori: he knows himself well enough that he knew he would prefer to literally embody his art. however, he is great at convincing himself he doesnt have emotions when in fact he does have quite a few.

hidan: somehow, the most emotionally healthy akatsuki member?? he knows what he wants, what he likes, what he's passionate about, etc. other people might wish he was a bit more conflicted about things but thats Their Problem, not his. However this is not  because he’s better at this than anyone else, this is because unlike everyone else in the group, he has no trauma. Trauma is what happens to other people when they meet him. 

kakuzu: on some level, probably realizes he has Issues™. Does not connect his constant frothing rage to these issues. That’s clearly just his default, he's been like that for ages. (no!!!)

pein: so hilariously bad at this whole emotional/self-reflection thing that naruto’s special talk-no-jutsu caused him to die

konan: she knows that she is, on some level, fucked up, but she has buried that under layers of professionalism and murder and also paper. Deals with things better than pein but like. They were both super codependent on each other and i really wish we could’ve seen what she was like after pein’s death. Because i feel like it could’ve been the stepping stone to her being more unhinged in new and interesting ways. However, she was immediately murdered by obito as part of madara’s plot to get new special eyes. fuck you, kishimoto!!!!!

tobi: this man is somehow, even worse than pein. if the naruto universe was interested in things like “higher education” and “things that dont involve new and creative methods of murder”, there would be so many psychology majors dying to study him like a bug. why are you like this, obito. Your tragic backstory about getting crushed in a cave-in and being manipulated taught by your weird grampa and seeing rin die and everything does not adequately explain anything about you. Not only does he have the self-reflection skills of a mushroom, but I don’t think he even knows why he does the things he does in the first place.

zetsu: disqualified due to being a plant/vessel for an evil alien/guy who got chewed up and spat out by said alien. Asking if he’s emotionally healthy is like asking what the color blue smells like. Curious about the very concept in the same way that he is curious about the Experience of Having To Poop. 

[mambalae-s]

hi hi mamba, i want to start this off with a congrats and a thank you so much for putting in the work and the energy to do this event. i really appreciate it so much and i'm so so proud of you. you're doing wonderful, darling !

for your event, i actually can't decide myself so i'm going to give you the choice to pick for me between toji and satoru from jjk - (i really really hope you're not indecisive and are able to work well under pressure ! but you can let me know if you need me to choose one);

this might need a bit of a trigger warning, but something i'm still learning to love about myself is my weight and my body. i kinda struggle with my eating habits a little bit sometimes and i won't go into detail but it's something that i'm working on :)

as far as my personality goes, i would describe myself as someone who speaks her mind and usually doesn't hold back from doing so (mostly bc i think honesty is the best policy in any kind of relationship). and um this might be kind of contradicting, but at the same time i also isolate myself from loved ones when i'm feeling down or pressured and keep everything to myself bc i don't like arguing/conflict. my friends describe me as having a sarcastic sense of humour and say that i roll my eyes a lot but they also think i'm very very sweet because i flirt with them often just for fun hehe. i'm mostly an introvert because i need to have my alone time but when i'm feeling charged then i'm able to make friends very very quickly. and my dad says it's because i'm empathetic and always know what to say when it comes to ppl hehe. (ahh this is getting too long... i just love talking about myself. i'll try wrapping it up quickly!) some other things you should know about me: i'm a hopeless romantic, don't like horror, am a total daydreamer, i write romance, fanfiction, and poetry, pink is my favourite colour, i'm a lipgloss/lipstick addict (and collect them for fun even when i don't need them), spring is my favourite season, my love language is physical touch, i'm an infp, and if it's important for the moodboard i'm south asian!

let's keep this sfw for ease, so i'll end it by describing my dream date with both men. you can then choose which one you'll do!

1. i know satoru's really really tall, but i just picture toji being taller and bigger in my head so i have this headcanon that i'm like half his size (for reference, i'm 5'3-ish) and in my head we are just grumpy x sunshine couple all the way. dream date with toji would be us going to the amusement park (my fav place on earth) and just being kids tbh. i'd force him to wear cutesy animal headbands and ride the rollercoaster and the ferris wheel with me and we'd stand in long long lines just talking and he would probably whine and complain about everything but he'd put up with it for me (also i'd probably manipulate him with my big eyes and my own bratty attitude ^^)

2. with satoru, i feel like since he's pretty childish in a relationship, i'd definitely act more bossy/mature with him as a result. (he'd look so pretty taking orders, wouldn't he?) dream date with satoru would just be a stay at home date. we'd start off by cooking dinner and dessert together, then have a spa night, and end it by doing a disney movie marathon together. he's so money i just have the urge to show him that we can do things without spending so much or going out to fancy restaurants and stuff.

anyway, i'm sorry for making this so long. as you can tell, i'm a talker. i'll leave the choice up to you for which boy to pick, but i just want to say thank you in advance. i love u sm mamba. congrats again baby doll <33

my beloved safi!! my dearest angel!! i’m so so soooo excited to do your request!! genuinely kicked my feet and did a little dancy dance when i saw your ask and i started searching for your pics as early as 4am before work! as soon as you mentioned sunshine x grumpy, you’d gotten me on team toji! im gonna make the prettiest, cutest, sweetest boards and scenarios for you, because you truly are as bright as the sun and you deserve the world! hugging you sooooo warmly!

also please don’t feel bad for telling me as much as you did!’ it makes me happy to learn about you all during these little events!

╰┈➤ cherry blossom lips — safi x toji

╰┈➤ song — pov by ariana grande

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 one of the first things that really drew toji to you was your smile. he finds the way your eyes light up and crinkle ever so slightly ever so enchanting. he’s so entirely enraptured, you have no idea just how much!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i’ve said this for others as well, but toji’s also the kind of lover who is very attentive to you and your likes. i also think that he spoils you quite a bit! he’ll take note of your collection of lipglosses and lipsticks and whenever he’s out, he always keeps his eyes open for ones that he thinks you’ll like.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 if you only ask him once, he’ll help you pick out a lovely combination for your days and contemplates very intensely on what look he thinks would work well! he’s very involved surprisingly and loves to see the way you switch things up every now and then, and finds it really cute when you keep returning to favourites time and time again.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 i also think he’d be very playful and loves to kiss your glossy lips, if only to taste the sweet flavours as he licks the tint from his own lips, keeping his eyes locked on yours with your chin between his fingers as he tells you how sweet you taste.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’s very perceptive to you and your feelings and always looks out for you as best as he can. he knows just how much you care for others around him, and him especially, always making sure that he’s alright, asking him about his day and of anything that he may have on his mind.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he might not be very vocal about it, but his way of reassuring you is at first to pull you in for a long hug. he rests his chin on top of your head and just holds you close to him, hands stroking your back and waist and taking slow, deep breaths so that you’ll follow his lead. especially during moments when he notices you quietly hurting, he’ll always mutter loving reassurances that he’s here for you, and that you don’t have to push yourself to talk to him until you’re ready — just know that he’s there for you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he also knows how much you try to show yourself love, especially when it comes to your body. toji can tell whenever you’re having a hard time showing yourself the love he feels for you, and his way of reminding you of that love is by initiating physical contact in very intimate ways!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 not intimate as in sexual, but he’ll lay down with you and shower your entire body with kisses, reaching beneath your clothes with his fingers and taking his time to let each kiss linger, with little whispers of everything he loves, every part of you that you’re still learning to love on yourself. like i said, he’s extremely intentional, so know that all of those kisses and light touches are overflowing with love he feels deep inside his heart, because he’ll be there to love you until — and even after — you’ve fully grown to love yourself the way he does

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when you ask him one day to visit an amusement park with you, he doesn’t think twice about saying yes! sure, he might act like he has zero interest in wearing those cute headbands with you, but he’d do anything just to make you happy!

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 sure, he’ll say that it won’t look good on him and that it’ll make him look silly, but how can he say no to those pleading eyes and pouty lips of yours? in the end, he’ll let you stuff his mouth full of cotton candy and grumble as you set cute mickey mouse ears atop his head — and don’t tell anyone, but he melts like putty at the way you light up and boop his nose, a little red faced as you tell him how cute he looks

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he’ll even match with you to wear pink themed outfits! if it’s a colder time of the year when you both go, he’ll buy you both pink lilo onesies ahead of time so that you can wear them together! absolutely loves the pictures you both take and sets them as your contact photo, his wallpaper, all so that he can see the way you smile at the camera while his soft gaze is trained on you

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 now this is a secret, but toji gets a little squeamish in high places, so he’s a little nervous at first about going on the roller coasters and ferris wheels, but it’s all so worth it as he gets to hear your joyful squeals and laughter, watching your eyes crinkle as you belt out all these happy noises. the fact that you’re enjoying yourself makes him all the more pleased and he takes his own enjoyment purely from you.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 he knows how you love the romantic things in life, so he takes you to the biggest ferris wheel in the park at night when all the lights shine like colourful stars. he wraps his arm around you and admires you admiring the scene around you, leaning into his embrace and just taking in the moment. he can’t stop himself from thinking just how precious you are to him, how much he loves you, and would absolutely tear the world apart to keep you safe.

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪 when your cart reaches the highest point of the ride, he lets himself go and pulls you in for a sweet kiss, letting it last for seconds that feel like years and mere moments to him as he drinks you in for all that you are, pouring into you every poem he’s secretly written in his heart for you. he whispers to you how much you love him, “until the end of time, safi… i’ll always love you, even after then.”

mamba celebrates 100 followers — jjk and haikyuu selfship event!

[non-un-topo]

💔👀🦅🎶🎢🥺 !!!

Apple, thank you love! <333

💔 Is there a fic of yours that broke your heart?

Oh boy, well I did a number with Dahlia back in the day. Haven't written angst quite like that in a while and I still feel the urge to write a happy kid fic as an apology. My brother spits blood. hurt in a different way, with all the Booker & Nicky brotherly feelings.

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

Ohhh okie. I have greatly missed writing weird mysterious horror-themed fics but I get shy, so I've tried not to pull my punches this time and just have fun. I can tell you that it will take place in Iceland, in the early 17th century and will address a significant point in the lives of the guard---rather, who is left of it. It will be Nicky's pov (for reasons I cannot yet say other than it having something to do with centrality and steadfastness in the group dynamic---okay I just explained it lol), and I'm hoping to put more horror elements into this one too (Nicky + horror is my special tea). For this fic I'm really exploring liminal space, daylight horror (w the midnight sun), renewal, the sense of being adrift and the urge to keep everything and everyone together. So, uhh. Angst. I'll say one more thing just because: There is an inciting incident that occurs before the plot begins. It's what ends up convincing them to take a break from their search for Quynh and settle on solid ground. It's also why I'm writing it in Nicky's pov and why he has this pervasive sense of losing his footing, or being sent adrift. 👀👀

🦅 Do you outline fics or fly by the seat of your pants?

I outline like a beast. Usually I prefer to have the entire plot from start to finish outlined in bullet points before I start properly writing.

For my current wip I have three different documents and then the fic itself. Are the three documents comprehensible? Do they make sense? Are they more than just random philosophical thoughts and ideas and scattered research notes? Nah. But they get more organized with each new document lol. Sometimes, though, when the writing bug hits I just write a whole oneshot without planning too much.

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I do!! I have very specific songs for very specific moods. Sometimes soundtracks, sometimes opera or classical music, sometimes like... weird medieval music. For my current wip I've been listening to three main songs that encapsulate the whole vibe of the fic: Your Bones by OMAM, Familiar by Agnes Obel, and Caesar by The Oh Hellos.

I tend to listen to the same artists over and over, or sort of atmospheric instrumental stuff. I found this yesterday and it's really gotten me in the writing spirit!

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Honestly, Dying of the Light was a pretty insane experience, both in terms of writing and just its plot. I had thousands of words written, then scrapped almost all of it and re-wrote almost the whole thing in one sitting. I was up at 4am when I wrote the goat scene and I think I finished around 6. All its wild trippy moments come from the fact that I was literally losing my mind a bit at the time lol. Bad life circumstances, but it ended up being one of the fics I'm most proud of.

But in terms of plot only, I think Tangerine and Roc was kind of wild. It has a lot going on thematically and plot-wise, and has a longer word count.

🥺 Is there a certain type of moment or common interaction between your characters that never fails to put you in your feels?

I don't have a knack for fluff, but I think I might have a soft spot for that sort of casual, close and familiar family dynamic? Like I hadn't realized how many moments I'd written in which one of the queer quartet members is doing another one's hair until I read them all back lol.

Casual intimacy and platonic touches really get me in my feels. Specifically Andy's affection for any of the other characters (back of the neck touch my beloved). Dancing makes me feel insane, I love it and need to write more of it. Same with platonic cuddles. I definitely have a soft spot for pals sitting around a fire and drinking/dancing/laughing. Makes me feel alive <3 Like: Yes, that's family.

[127princesskorra]

If Only

— Korra x Fem!Reader x Asami

— genre: mainly angst, minor fluff

— Warnings: mentions of Death, describing blood, injuries and gore(in a way)

*comments: heyy so i’m sorry i’m posting this before any of the requests i got😭 but i had the urge to write this so forgive me but they’ll be out!! also if i missed any warnings in this please let me know i apologize if this bothered anyone or anything. One more thing if i could get some feedback please! and sorry if this is cringe too bc it’s 4am when i wrote this but i hope you all enjoy anyways!!!💙💙**

— Sumarry: When a Spirit that took human form recently has been taking humans and trapping them in a cycle of sadness of their life, into their own mind with no breaking from it. Even though Avatar Korra was saddened of not being able to save the rest of the poor people that got caught in this. Loosing Y/n wasn’t worth it either

“Oh? you’re here for this one, and that one?” The ‘and’ being dragged as the human-form of a Spirit pointed at Asami with their right hand, and harshly tilting Y/n’s head up with their left. “Let go of my friends, what did you do to them?” Korra yelled.

She was the only one in the room from her separated team on the other side of this maze of a house. Thankfully she had reached this room without any harm done to Asami and Y/n.

But the look on both of her friends face’s clenched at Korra’s heart. For she feared what the Spirit had done to them. All these people could think of right now is sadness the Spirit displayed for them.

Korra tried to run to them and check on them but was stopped

“Uh uh uh... Avatar” the Spirit grew a small wall of thorny stems, very similar to that of what holds a Rose.

“Don’t you know it’s rude to just barge in with out any announcement?” the Spirit pouted as they sat on what could be their “throne”. When Korra wanted to fire back verbally the Spirt had raised their hand and continued “listen, before you started.” “i know what you want.” the Spirit said.

Korra slightly raising an eyebrow, confused as to what the Spirit had in mind.

“But here’s the deal.” the Spirit stood back up. “You can have back these children of mine, but only... one.” the Spirit suggested and it only built Korra’s anger. “What do you mean one?” “These people aren’t yours to keep!” the Spirit let out a laugh and repeated

“Oh Avatar, i said you can only take one” the Spirit said and leaning their upper body forward with their hands on their hips. “W-what are you on about?!” Korra spit out. “i’m taking my friends and the rest of these people back to the physical world. where they belong” Korra continued as she whiped her arm around to show the Spirit, she meant all the people within the room

The Spirit sighed and faked a sad express. “You’re no fun Avatar.” they said as they turned only half way until they looked back to Korra “Fine! you can have both of girls” and swiftly the Spirit turned around and slowly went back to their chair but not sitting.

Korra being in the valid confusion she was, after what she had just saw. She took the opportunity to run to Asami to help her first, And she succeeded. But when she pull Asami into her arms to carry her, she suddenly heard a gushying sound and the world became all slow paced at what had just happened

The Spirit has clearly seen who Korra had chosen by who she went to first. That’s when the Spirit roated it’s fore arm into a quick circle and pointed their wrist upwards to show the back of their palm. The Garden Tentacles grew out quickly like thick hair, with the ends curlying, right before it stuck it’s target

but it was too late. the damage had already been one. When Korra looked back with fear spilling over her face, only yo see thorn tentacles that had already pierced Y/n and, in result letting her body slight tilt back from the pressure and impact of the stab. They were thick and most likely were going to leave lots... and lots of damage

“I told you.” The Spirit setting the arm down next to it’s side, and turning to the Avatar with their girlfriend in their arms tightly. “You only can take one.” Was the last thing Korra heard fromthe Spirit during the unbelievable moment she’s witnessing.

Y/n let out gasps of small cries as she could use only much of what is left of her life to look down her wound.

“Y/N!!!” Korra screamed, while holding her girlfriend close in her arms.

By the time, the tentacles had ripped back out of her, rocking her body the opposite way. It felt slow but painful, the fall backwards as she hit the cold dirt ground.

The spirit laughs, taking pleasure in seeing the Avatar’s face at the scene across from her. Korra takes Asami into her arms closer and picks her up with her other arm under her bent knees and, carries her to where Y/n is. Setting Asami next to her side. Korra picks now a Y/n that had blood all over her, the crimson color only kept growing and falling.

Holding Y/n close. “k-.. rra” the last syllable quickly turned into a gasp, and Y/n not being able to use anything within her to hold a complete sound.

As Korra clearly sees Y/n being in between the gates of the living and afterlife, she whimpers in her chest hoping to feel a stronger rise coming from it. Holding her even tighter to her. “I’m sorry”..the first becoming a whisper ”i-i’m so sorry”.

Y/n’s eyes almost the entire time weren’t always open but she could feel and hear everything around her still. Unknowingly to Korra, she smiles because she knows she may lose her life but at least it’s in the arms of who she loves. Y/n tries one last time. She tries, and she leans her head up along with her arm to reach for Korra.

“Korra...” a gentle voice let Korra’s head spring up to look at Y/n. “Yes.. what is it”, She says as she holds the hand that Y/n reached for. “...i’m here” Korra says, showing she’s in full attention with Y/n and holds her hand close to her heart.

Y/n and Korra had still only recently meet during the fight against the Northern invaders. Y/n was strong and didn’t allow for any wrong to be justified. Even if she was from the North herself. Y/n witnessed a lot of traditions with in the North that she could never just abide by.

She looked beautiful to Korra for how brave she was and didn’t mind getting her hands dirty, if it meant setting things straight. Y/n was smart and could quickly come up with a plan. For the way she was quick and clever, bending the element of Air was perfect for her.

Ever since then they’ve become close friends, and Y/n being add to Team Avatar, it all just felt whole and calming, like everything was okay.

And it could’ve been okay...if only Y/n wasn’t slowing slipping away.

The Spirt’s buisness here was clearly done. They needed to see some suffering from her “Children” but who knew one would die. With a giggle, in a foggy gas-like blob, it took the Spirit and the rest of the people it traped and got away, along with any trace about them. Korra looked up to witness them leaving and not being able to do anything about it. Her anger was all over the place, she didn’t know where to start.

Y/n had attempted to reach for Korra’s face but struggled, untill Korra’s attention was brought back to Y/n and helped her, held it close to her cheek. Y/n’s intented to wipe the water droplets coming from her glossy blue eyes. She didn’t want to see her like this for the last time.

Korra wanted to sob and cry and scream at the heart-warming gesture, but the whole moment went in silence. Asami still being unconscious from the Spirit’s spell.

Y/n knew it was either now, or literally never. So the young waterbender closed her eyes has tears slowly streamed down her cheeks. Took a deep breathe and let the whole world know.

“I love you...Korra.” was all Y/n could achieve to say, before slowly her head falling back and, being completely titled to the other side and closing her eyes for the last time.

Korra went into shock the whole time. Her eyes only widening even more as she watched in horror. From the confession to the sudden lifeless body she’s holding. Slowly it all came back to her and she cracked from one chocked sob to another.

Untill it all spilled out of her. Really soon the rest of the team including, Mako, Bolin, Tenzin, Lin and Opal and more. They all slowly take their own position as they watch the whole scene infront of them.

Mako and Bolin walk closer. One squating to be of comfort to Korra while the others expression was similar to Korra.

Korra’s cries only got louder with regret for not being able to save you.

[simpsiren]

about the roommate

park seonghwa x reader

main masterlist

description. you talk about your weird relationship with the roommate you’ve been with for so long yet still dont know much about

genre. roommates au, fluff, seonghwa hinting at reader that they like them

warnings. nonee

a/n. hihii so i wanted to try writing for ateez since ive been doing a lot of nct ff already. its my first time so i doubt that it’ll be accurate but i got the idea from this post by @darling-akaashi so i hope it will be decent. i never thought that it would be this long but oh well HAHA enjoyy :D

how did you even become roommates with someone like him? you dont even know. all you knew was that you were finding someone to share the apartment rent with and it just so happens that your friend at college, wooyoung, has a friend who was looking for an apartment.

and now here you are. a year and a half of sharing an apartment with seonghwa yet the two of you are in your separate rooms. the only interaction you ever made today was at breakfast where seonghwa cooked for you scrambled eggs and toasted bread.

there’s wasn’t much you knew about him at first. but as you slowly but surely try to accomplish your mission of getting to know seonghwa (since you didn’t like being awkward with people all the time), you start to learn a thing or two about him.

you were glad that after a year and a half of staying with him, you got to know more about him, despite the fact that the interaction between the two of you still needed some work.

[ONE] : he’s a clean freak.

you were feeling tired from a long day of school and all you thought of doing while walking home was to sit on the couch and resume your anime marathon.

you unlock your door to find seonghwa mopping the floor. you nod your head slowly as you close the door and take off your shoes before taking any step further.

“didnt you mop the floor yesterday?” you ask, placing your keys on the kitchen counter along with your bag on the chair of the dining table.

“yeah.” was all you heard from seonghwa as you pour yourself a glass of grape juice. “you dont have to mop again-“

“its a habit.” seonghwa replies simply. with your cup in hand, you make your way to the living room, where seonghwa is currently mopping. you take a seat on the couch and grab the controller to turn on the tv. “hey wanna watch attack on titans with me?” seonghwa was mopping the floor in between the couch you’re sitting on and the coffee table and stops in front of you, raising an eyebrow.

“i dont watch anime?” you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “come on its fun! stop your cleaning and at least watch one episode.” you grab seonghwa’s arm and pull him down to sit next to you, making him flinch a little and quickly placing the mop beside the couch.

“how am i suppose to watch when i dont know what happened before?” you roll your eyes.

“if you find this episode good then you can watch it from the start in your free time.”

seonghwa sighs and and stands up, walking away to keep the mop before taking a seat beside you again and getting comfortable. “this better be worth it. im suppose to clean the toilet right now.”

“that can wait.” you nudge your arm into his chest, making him let out another long sigh before watching the show silently.

[ONE.2]

it was a saturday morning as you went to sleep at 4am. hence, making you wake up at 11am in the morning. however, you have always been laying around in your bed for about an hour or so before getting out of your room. when the clock striked 12, you thought that it would be a good idea to get out of your room and have lunch. gathering up all your energy, you brought yourself out of bed and lazily walk out of your room.

as you walked down the hallway, the first thing you saw was seonghwa cleaning the counter top of the kitchen. you clicked your tongue and walked over to where seonghwa was.

“did you make lunch yet?”

seonghwa looks up at you and shakes his head. “its a saturday so im spring cleaning the house.” you rolled your eyes and shake your head.

“you do that every single day!” you whine. seonghwa raises his eyebrow. “i like to keep the house neat unlike you.” you let out a soft ‘tsk’.

you have to admit, you were not a clean person at all. the only reason why the apartment is clean is because of seonghwa’s habit of being well organised and meticulous. basically everything in the apartment but your room is squeaky clean. although you see seonghwa staring at your room and looked like he’s holding back the strong urge to clean it for you, he doesn’t really do anything about the fact that you are the complete opposite of him. you dont know why but you only shrug it off.

“ill help you today, alright? then you can quickly cook something up for us. im hella hungry right now.”

seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and scoffs with a slight smile. you furrow your eyebrows and frown. “what’s that face for, huh?”

“this is the first time you offered to help. id say thank you but i know you’re only doing it because we both know im the only one that can cook.” seonghwa says confidently. you purse your lips and nodded your head.

“you’re right. but i’ll still help. so, what should i do?” seonghwa tosses the cloth that he was using to clean the kitchen counter. you took a step back as you quickly got a hold of it.

“wash it and wipe the bookshelf.” you let out a long sigh before flashing him a bright smile and headed over to the bookshelf. while you were wiping the sides of the bookshelf, you could have sworn that you saw seonghwa looking at you with a smile and a light blush of pink on his cheeks. you pretended not to notice though, and shrug it off.

[TWO] : he’s a great cook.

you still remember the first day you came to the apartment. the first thing you see your new roommate doing was cleaning. like intense cleaning. it was late at night and you didn’t bother to even greet the stranger since you felt awkward and wanted to rest for the night.

however, at about two in the morning, you were laying down in your room when you felt the need to have a night snack. you stepped out of your room and went to the kitchen. the whole apartment was dark except for the dimly lit lamp at the kitchen. you jumped a little when you hear seonghwa’s voice coming from the living room.

“y/n?” you turn around to see seonghwa chilling on the couch with his phone. the living room was completely dark and you could only see his face from the light illuminating from his phone.

“i was just getting a snack to eat.” you said as you opened the fridge to look for something to eat. unfortunately, there wasnt anything that looked like it would fill your midnight appetite. you hear seonghwa standing up from the couch at the back and walking towards you. you tilted your head to the back and see seonghwa standing behinf you. you tale a step back.

“i can cook something if you want.”

“no no its fine i just need a simple snack.” seonghwa kept quiet for a moment as you went back to the fridge to look for food again, as if something might magically pop up. but of course nothing did.

“well i didnt think of getting any snacks when i moved in. ill make something.” seonghwa walks over to the fridge and nudges your arm, making you move to the kitcen counter and leaning your hip against it as you watch seonghwa get to work.

you were looking through your phone, distracted when you heard the noise of two bowls being olaced on the table. you lift your head up and noticed that seonghwa made yoghurt with cherries and raspberries. it wasnt your idea of a midnight snack but at this point, anything could go in your stomach.

“thanks.” you whisper softly as you drag the bowl near to you. seonghwa only hums in response as the two of you take a bite at the same time. your mouth gapes open as your head slowly tilts up from your bowl to look at seonghwa. he was casually eating when his raises an eyebrow at your weird expression.

“how.. how does this taste so good? what did you do it? did you poison it?!” seonghwa blinks at you a few times and shakes his head slowly. your forehead creases as you look at him suspiciously. “i never really liked yoghurt but holy shit.” you quickly take another bite.

“i think you’re just hungry. it tastes fine to me.” seonghwa says in a monotoned lazy manner and grabs the bowl and taking a seat at the dining table. you purse your lips into a straight line and grab your bowl as well and walking down the hallway to your room. before you open your door to go in, you quickly turn your head to the dining table.

“thanks for the yoghurt! ill wash the bowl later.” seonghwa doesnt react, keeping his eyes on his phone. you gave a weird look before heading inside. you sigh.

he’s going to be hard to talk to.

[TWO.2]

“its your birthday, right?” your jumped in your seat when seonghwa suddenly appeared beside you on the couch. “uhuh.. how’d you know?” you say softly, nodding your head.

“wooyoung told me. lll make you a cake or something. anything you want to eat?” you blink at him a few times, your mouth still gaping open as you were shocked about a few things. 1. he talking to you in a more open matter and 2. he actually want to make you something for your birthday.

“make me mac and cheese, please! i love the way you cook it!” you smiled brightly. seonghwa smiled back and coughed, only to return to his monotoned face. you laugh softly. you found it cute somehow.

“i wouldn’t have allowed it since its unhealthy but since its your birthday-”

“thank you!” you leaned in to hug seonghwa. the didnt hug you back, so you quickly pulled away. you noticed him blushing again, this time it was more obvious. you shook it off, despite knowing you felt butterflies in your stomach. “ill go out to get groceries then.” seonghwa stands up from the couch and heads inside his room to get ready.

you smiled to yourself constantly as you waited for seonghwa to finish making the mac and cheese. you sigh in satisfaction as the smell of the delicious food fills the air in the apartment. you tapped your feet excitedly as you had your eyes glued onto seonghwa with the pan in his hands. your face lit up the moment the starts walking towards you. you clap your hands as he places it down on the dining table.

“fuck it smells and looks to good.” you moan out. seonghwa lets out a soft laugh, making you blush just from hearing him do that. “if i made this any other day, i would’ve asked you to pay for the groceries.” you roll your eyes.

“come on dont be rude to me.” you grab a fork and spoon, bringing your plate near the pan and cutting out a slice for yourself. “thanks for the mac and cheese.” seonghwa only nods his head and took a slice for himself before the two of you ate together slowly, indulging the savoury and amazing taste of one of seonghwa’s best dishes he has ever made dor you.

you appreciated times like thae with seonghwa. alrhough not much interaction was made during meal times, you really felt that he cared for you. making meals you like on special occasions, and he’s always asking you what you want to eat, despite the fact that he might not be comfortable with the idea, he doesn’t fail to whip up a great meal. you liked that about seonghwa.

[THREE] : he’s a great listener.

you basically the worse day that day. for some reason, everything just had to go wrong. the only thing you felt the whole day were anger and sadness, more so towards anger. it was late at night yet you were still fuming in anger, only wanting to let it all out the moment you stepped into the apartment.

you unlocked the door and dropped your bag beside you and slammed the door shut. of course the piercing sound of the door made seonghwa lift his head up in an instant. you notice him laying down on the couch with his phone and usual.

stomping over to the kitchen, you pour yourself a glass of cold water. you chugged the whole cup of water fast and forcefully place the cup on the counter. you clearly felt seonghwa’s eyes on you. you look up from your cup and notice him looking shocked, his mouth gaping open slightly.

“what?” you said, running your hand through your hair in frustration.

“you okay...?” you hear seonghwa ask. “does it look like im okay? today felt as if i entered a shit hole.” you huff. you made your way over to the couch, leaving your empty cup on the counter.

“move your ass.” you hiss at seonghwa. he raises an eyebrow and gets up from his laying position, proceeding to sit up and let you take a seat beside him.

you sit down and let your body sink into the couch, laying your head back as you sigh to calm yourself down. “what happened?” seonghwa whispers, putting away his phone and turning his attention to you.

you purse your lips into a thin line and slowly looked up at him. his eyes were filled with concern and his voice was gentle too. he hasn’t been this concerned about you before.

“apparently i got my best friend to dress up all cute and fancy so that she can have a date with my boyfriend behind my back.” you scoff in disbelief, shaking your head. you see seonghwa licking his lips nervously as he nodded his head.

“a shit show if you ask me. i saw him waiting for her in front of the shop i was working at.” you grab the pillow behind you and hug it close to your chest with you digging your face into it. “just how cruel can people get?” your voice was muffled but you knew seonghwa heard you loud and clear. you felt his hand resting on your back, patting it gently.

“its fine. rant all you want.” you took a deep breath and slammed the pillow onto your lap. you felt that it made seonghwa jump a little but he never fails to keep his composure in check. you could never be like him.

the night, all you did was talk, cried and screamed your heart out. and seonghwa was there to just listen to you. he didn’t react much, but he did nod a few times hear and there to let you know that he understood what you were saying. he wasnt so affectionate that he would hug you when you cried, but it felt good to just have him sit there with you while you let out all your anger and frustration. you figured that having him as your listener was his way of showing comfort for you.

[THREE.2]

it was 4am. you and seonghwa have been drinking since 2am. why? you had a bad day and you felt rhe need to destress with some alcohol. seonghwa wouldn’t have allowed you to get drunk but he was apparently having a bad day too and felt like he wanted to get a little drunk to forget everything that day.

“dont you know how fucking stupid that is? it only happens to me. why?!” you groan as you take down another shot. seonghwa fills up your cup again.

“just forget them. they’re being idiots.” seonghwa whispers. you gap your mouth open and roll your eyes. “how can i forgot something like that?!” you shout angrily, slamming your hand on the table. seonghwa laughs in a lazy manner.

“you’re cute when you’re mad.”

“excuse me?” you tilt your head to the side, wondering if you heard seonghwa’s words clearly.

“nothing.” you shrug it off and shake your head.

“by the way..” you started off. seonghwa lifts his head up from the table and lets out a ‘hm?’

“why arent you telling me why you’re drinking? you don’t normally do this. you dont even let me drink unless its a special occasion. i rarely see you drunk.”

seonghwa raises both his eyebrows and sigh. “i had a bad day. but yours sounds worse so ill let you do all the ranting.” seonghwa starts playing with his shot glass, circling his index finger around its rim.

you clicked your tongue. “but its always been about me. you cook me my favourite meals, you do all the cleaning and you’re always here for me when im pissed. i feel bad about it..” you quickly glance at seonghwa. its the blushing again. you started to accept the fact that you had an effect on him, instead of avoiding the fact that he might have feelings for you.

“i guess im always doing those things because...” he leans forward over the table, getting close to your face. you start to grow nervous and your heart started beating quickly. you held a fist to your chest, breathing slowly to calm you down, but it failed. its the first time you’ve seem seonghwa like this. he looked... hot?

“do you know the answer?” seonghwa asks, tilting his head to the side as you watch his eyes glaze over you whole face as if he’s admiring every inch of it.

“no?” your breathing stopped for a moment when seonghwa gets even closer. this time, your noses were touching. seonghwa chuckles lowly. why did that sound so good all of a sudden?

“i know that you know. i wonder why you’re shying away.” seonghwa’s lips immediately connected with yours. you blinked your eyes rapidly as you tried to process the situation. you couldn’t hold back. his lips felt great against yours. its like all the worries that have been piling up in you have been washed away from a simple kiss.

who knew you’d get this close to your mysterious roommate? its a drastic start to a good relationship nonetheless.

[adultswim2021]

Space Ghost Coast to Coast #82: “Baffler Meal” | January 1, 2003 - 12:00 AM | S08E01

An all-time classic, wonderful episode. Ending 2002 on a high note (technically this is the first episode of 2003 being that it aired at midnight, but I’m delaying my EPHEMERA CORNER post for as long as I can).

The origins of Aqua Teen Hunger Force are laid bare for all to see with Baffler Meal. Aqua Teen Hunger Force was famously based on a rejected Space Ghost script. Well, this is that script, re-imagining the Aqua Teens based on old designs and concepts from that unproduced episode. The desired effect is to approximate what that episode would have been like had it been produced in 1999 before the Aqua Teen Hunger Force series proper was developed. It’s supposed to be confusing; to the point where in the DVD commentary track they even question weather or not they should make it clear within the commentary that that’s what’s going on here (they do).

I will now take this opportunity to quote one of my favorite synopses of a TV show ever, originally taken from tvtome (remember tvtome? god, what a great site):

Space Ghost is forced into a raw deal with the deadly Colonial Man, forever altering the future of classic rock - again. Willie Nelson and a MOCKERY of the Aqua Teen Hunger Force star in this episode. This episode mocks a great comedy show. It doesn't feel funny in the least.

Here you can see the lack of understanding for what the episode really is. Despite the fact that the ostensible Space Ghost fan (tvtome was run by volunteer submissions for it’s episode data) should one-thousand percent understand the Space Ghost connection, clearly recognize Dave Willis’ voice (he still voices Meatwad in a very similar manner), etc. The degree of confusion this episode caused can not be understated.

Nuggets from the DVD commentary:

Frylock is a guy in a costume in this. Okay, that wasn’t specifically from the DVD commentary, but it’s the first time I caught that detail, ever, and I don’t want to start a separate bullet-point list for stray observations.

Shake’s read of “blahd” instead of “blade” was inspired by a real typo in the script, just like “Branford the Branford” before it.

Todd Hanson of The Onion helped write this episode and kept pitching a character named Napkin Lad. I believe Napkin Lad actually comes to be later in the Aqua Teen series.

And another thing I love: The cool song at the end. The part where Dave is like “OH BABY, YEAH BABY” etc. towards the very end of the episode? That part gets stuck in my head like, VERY FREQUENTLY, and for years I thought it was Bob Odenkirk singing in either a Mr. Show or Ben Stiller Show sketch and have been trying to place it forever. Turns out it wasn’t Bob, but David, and I ain’t talkin’ Cross, do I sound cross to you? Do you even appreciate wordplay??

NEXT is my end-of-the-year roundup of second-run premieres, shorts, commercials, bumpers, etc. That’s right, EPHEMERA CORNER is back! But it’s gonna be a long one so I might break it up over the course of a few days, maybe a week, even.

MAIL BAG

I think these were all anonymous, please forgive me if I have, as the French say, “fucked up” by failing to name the conspirator.

2002 is almost over! What do you think brak's position on the iraq war was? Carl's? Hesh's? Junior addleburg's?

Brak: against, but respects the office of the presidency and urges using civil methods to protest. Carl: pro, he is a white supremacist and is supportive of any and all mass destruction committed on non-white nations. Hesh: HESH WANTS SOME SEX! lol. Junior Addleburg: has not been told about the war.

Do you think you are being overtly charitable to Brak this time around? Surely the best Brak show episode isnt even half as good as the worst Home Movies episode. Right?

I do tend to react to “better” Brak episodes the same way you encourage a problem student when they squeak out a B minus. There absolutely was a time when I loved The Brak Show and was all-in on it. That time was SEPTEMBER 2nd-8th, 2001. Hippo was certainly a factor. 9/11 may have also contributed.

I don’t think I’ve said this yet, but I’ve been keeping a running episode ranking of Adult Swim shows as I’ve been doing this. It’ll probably get revised at some point, so I’m not exactly ready to share it. In my ranking I tended to group Home Movies episodes very close to each other, and I would sometimes talk myself into ranking things a little higher or lower than I normally would just to break up a long streak of Home Movies. So I can actually say with impunity, yes, there are strong episodes of Brak Show that I've ranked over weaker episodes of Home Movies. But I might have to have a little chat with the man in the mirror about that.

Are you only doing animated shows or are you going to do live animated shows to. I feel like most people agree Tim and Eric bringing live-action to the block ruined it permanently even if you think those guys are funny in a vacuum. I'm just wondering because I know you did animation only for your Simpsons Night B-sodes so I feel you are a "tooned-in" guy.

Live-action is getting reviewed too! I can’t WAIT to revisit Saul of the Molemen. Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not sure where to draw the line on the internet stuff, though. If it aired on Adult Swim I’m very likely to cover it, but I don’t see myself covering the FishCenter repeats that aired at 4AM. Anime is generally getting the shaft. Sorry. I think it’d be cool if somebody started a blog that covered Adult Swim Action. But yes, you are right, I’m a pretty tooned-in guy. Lots of people have said this about me.

If you had to dress like any of the Adult Swim First Era characters for Halloween who would you dress as and who would you LIKE to dress as if difficulty of pulling it off wasn't an issue.

There was a Space Ghost muscle suit at one of those Halloween Stores one year and I very nearly bought it even though I had no intention of wearing it for Halloween. I did a very low-effort season 4 Hank Venture because by happenstance my hair looked like his at the time, and I found what looked like Brock’s jacket at a thrift store.

Putting on a blue Sealab uniform and only traveling in a chair with wheels would be real fun. I could probably pull of an effective Carl. As far a difficult costume I’d be the poolside announcer during the O.G. bumpers, because I imagine that he’s very muscular and his dick is real long and it’s constantly flopping out of the pantleg of his swim trunks and that it’s getting sucked off all the time by them old ladies and most of the time he’s like “no no, we mustn’t do that, for I am a professional” but every now and again he’s like “well alright” and this would reflect my experiences at whatever Halloween party I’m at except it would be a 20 year old woman dressed like an old lady because it’s Halloween. Thanks for the question.

Do you have a girlfriend? What does she think of Adult Swim or does she hate cartoons like mine.

I’m not done with the last thing. I would also have a bullhorn and I’d be using it while getting sucked off, even though that’s a discreet affair. Like, we’d find a bedroom that was empty and lock the door and I’d be like “Oh yeah baby suck my peenie, yes you are doing so good at sucking that.” in hushed tones, but into the bullhorn. I’d also use it to yell at children for wearing racist or appropriative costumes, which, as we all know, leads to more getting-your-dick-sucked. Anyway, I got a wife and we literally met at an Adult Swim event during Comic-Con! It was Tim & Eric Awesome-con 2007! I’M NOT LYING

Would you rather take one big bite out of meatwad or drink the entirety of Master Shake.

I wonder if Master Shake is warm. Anyway, I’d go with that, biting Meatwad seems like CERTAIN DEATH.

[beneaththetangles]

Review: Call of the Night, Vol. 1

Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight? No? Well, have you ever had your veins violated by a vampire in the Tokyo star light?

YOFUKASHI NO UTA © 2019 KOTOYAMA/SHOGAKUKAN

Hey guys, Josh here! Now typically when it comes to reviews, I tend to stay on the anime side of the Beneath the Tangles street. The reason being is that I don’t tend to read or collect a lot of manga. I can pretty much count on one hand how many manga series I actively follow or have followed.  It has to be a special kind of series for me to keep up for volumes upon volumes at a time and hold my attention as, admittedly, I have the attention span of a spaniel. But, as we are in springtime, the season of change and new beginnings, I figured I would stretch my legs a bit and check out more manga for review. So when Twwk offered up this manga for us to review, and I had the chance to read through it, I figured, “Yeah, this could be a good way to expand my writing prowess.” So, with all that being said, I’m Josh, the Cajun Samurai, and this is my review of Call of the Night, Vol. 1.

Our story starts with our main protagonist, a fourteen-year-old boy named Ko Yamori, who like many junior high boys his age, doesn’t quite know how to deal with girls, finding the stress of dealing with them so overwhelming to the point that he skips school everyday. Dude, I was awkward around girls all through middle school…and high school…but I never had the idea, or the outright boldness to completely SKIP school! I just hung out with the other nerds and kept it moving. But I digress. With no place to focus his energy, no one he can trust or confide in, and with no real ambitions in life, Ko ends up developing insomnia and spends night after night sneaking out the house and wondering around the streets of Tokyo, enjoying the whole new world that comes out when the sun goes down.

YOFUKASHI NO UTA © 2019 KOTOYAMA/SHOGAKUKAN

During one of these night walks, he encounters a girl named Nazuna Nanakusa, a very flirty, very lewd girl who also enjoys the simple pleasures of the night. After a bit of conversation, she reveals that she is in the business of helping people who can’t sleep and fixes whatever problems they may have. She convinces our bro Ko to come back to her place with the promise that she can help him with his insomnia. How does she do this? Simple really; she gets him to lay down and drift off to sleep, and then, when she thinks he’s out, she bites his neck and drink his blood. Now, I’m no doctor, but I’m 99.999% certain that the FDA does not approve of this method of curing insomnia. However, Ko was faking the sleepy funk and wakes up startled; brother man did not think that losing a couple CC’s of blood would be in the treatment plan. It’s then when Nazuna admits that she is, in fact, a vampire.

Later that night, Ko and Nazuna discuss the intricacies of being a vampire in this modern day. Contrary to popular opinion, vampires don’t just suck blood just to make more vampires; sometimes they just want to have a good meal. Hey, I don’t judge. However, if a human falls in love with one, that’s a different story as a human can only become a vampire if they fall in love with the one sucking their blood. Upon hearing this, Ko think that this sounds really prodigious and makes the rather drastic request that Nazuna drink his blood and turn him into a vampire as he has nothing going for him in life right now. However, Nazuna declines, stating that she only likes to drink blood and not make more vampires. She’s about that r/VampireChildFree lifestyle, yo. Nonetheless, she does offer him a compromise; in exchange for letting her drink his blood, Nazuna will let Ko hang out with her and have some fun in the night. Ko accepts this and the two begin hanging out every night, learning about each other and learning about what love is, and what is entailed in it as they explore the tantalizing world of Japan when the sun goes down.

Later in the volume, we meet one of Ko’s classmates, a girl named Akira. She tends to get up REALLY early in the morning to head off to school like the responsible student she is. And I mean REALLY early in the morning. When she meets up with Ko, it’s four in the freaking morning. I’m sorry, but I once had a job that required I be awake for 4AM, and THAT got old really freaking fast. Never again. Anyway, Akira encounters Ko one morning and the two have a conversation. It seems that Akira might in fact have some feelings for our little nightwalker in potentia, much to the chagrin of Nazuna, who seems to act a little weird when she encounters the two talking about him coming back to school. Could this be…jealousy? I guess we’ll find out in volume two.

YOFUKASHI NO UTA © 2019 KOTOYAMA/SHOGAKUKAN

I have to admit, this is a pretty intriguing first volume. It sets up everything pretty well, and leaves just enough questions that you want to come back and get answers for. Where are Ko’s parents in all this? What was the breaking point for him not wanting to go to school? Where did Nazuna come from? Does she really just like drinking Ko’s blood, or are there deeper, more complex feelings buried underneath the big talk and lewd snark? Why exactly is Akira so insistent that Ko come back to school? Does she have a crush on him? And the most important question of all: What in the world would this young boy willing to throw his past daytime life away and MAKE himself fall in love with a vampire to become one and live in the night? There’s just so much here to dive into, and this first volume does a great job of using it all to draw us in.

I also love that this manga takes the time to celebrate nighttime in Japan, and I feel the creator really captures the feelings of wonder and giddy delight of being out on your own during this time—the feeling of being in a whole new world so different than the one in the day. Thankfully the creator does not dwell on more social aspects of nightlife like bars and clubs, but instead focuses on the simplicity of everyday things like glowing vending machines, the lack of kids and families, the random salarymen who may have had one too many to drink and now sleeping it off on a park bench. All this is done expertly through the eyes of a middle school kid who is just trying to figure everything out.

Years back, I took a road trip by myself to Texas, one of my first ever long-distance road trips. I made it to my hotel in Houston, got some dinner, took a shower, and checked in with my mom, letting her know that I was all locked up for the night like a good boy. However, around midnight, I got the urge to get up and drive around for a little bit. I wanted to see Houston at night, and how often was I going to have the opportunity to drive alone by myself with nobody to answer to? So I grabbed my keys, jumped in my little rental Kia Soul, and set out in the night towards downtown Houston. It was such a thrill being one of the only cars out and about, zipping down the empty road, the streetlights illuminating the bare blacktop and empty sidewalks, my little 4 cylinder hamster-mobile revving up and down through gear ratios as I flew down the road, feeling the thrill of being out on the town by myself. That rush, that thrill, that feeling of being all by yourself in a new world at night is something you just have to experience, and thankfully this manga does a great job of capturing that feeling. And for those of you wondering, no, I didn’t just go out all night cruising. In fact, I didn’t really stay out all that late. Adult Swim was on and I wanted to get back. Don’t judge me.

I do have to note that this first volume reminds me a lot of Kotoyama’s earlier work, Dagashi Kashi; a young male lead with a conflict about what he wants to do with his life and a propensity to wear baggy clothes meets up with a loud, eccentric female who turns his entire life upside down and makes him reevaluate everything, including his own feelings regarding love. Meanwhile, the childhood friend, who may or may not have a crush on him, watches as the male lead gets swept up in the excitement and confusion this new girl brings to their quiet world, all the while coming to grips with her possible feelings towards him. In fact, one could argue that Call of the Night is just a retelling of Dagashi Kashi told at nighttime without snacks. Well, unless you count drinking blood a snack, in which case EVALUATE YOUR LIFE DECISIONS IMMEDIATELY. Ahem. But I digress.

YOFUKASHI NO UTA © 2019 KOTOYAMA/SHOGAKUKAN

All that being said, where does that leave us? Simple. Call of the Night Volume one is a nice setup for what looks to be a very interesting story. While it could be argued that this is a rehash of Dagashi Kashi, I think this story will develop its own narrative with each subsequent volume to separate it from its snack laden predecessor. I look forward to seeing how this manga will tackle the questions about what love really means, and seeing who falls in love first…under the light of the moon. Have a good one guys!

=====

Call of the Night Vol. 1 is available for purchase through Viz Media.

[sparklebitch]

4am conversations (klance)

Summary: Sometimes 4am conversations lead to pleasing results.

A/N: I wrote the majority of this at like 5 am the other day uhhhh hope you like it lmao. Leave a comment to feed my fanfiction-writing addiction pls

Trigger warnings: none

~   ~   ~

“I bet I’ve kissed more girls than you” The question seemingly came out of nowhere, but then again most questions at 4am were, at their very core, strange.

“Okay” Keith shrugged, as best as he could in his reclined position. He was lying on his back in bed with his butt against the wall and his legs straight up in the air. Lance was in a similar position next to him. They had been up for hours.

Lance twisted and propped himself up on his elbow so he could get a better look at Keith’s face. “You’re not even going to try and convince me that I’m wrong?” Keith shrugged again. He was past tired at this point. His eyes burned as he tried to keep them open and fixed on the ceiling. Lance got more competitive in the middle of the night. Keith found it best to just take Lance’s word for things.

Lance scoffed and laid back down. “You’re no fun at night” Keith let out a breath and shook his head.

“I’m sure I’ve kissed more people than you.” he said, taking the bait, purely for Lance’s sake. He would never willingly admit it but he enjoyed spending time with Lance and he didn’t want him to leave, though his body was screaming at him to get some sleep. “I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before but I’m kind of a slut” he deadpanned, knowing that it would get a rise out of Lance.

As predicted, Lance shot up straight, knocking his knee into Keith’s face as he did. “Wh- What!?” he asked in a shrill tone, his face pinched in an emotion that Keith didn’t recognize. He quickly gained control of his emotions, however, and receded back into his cool facade. “Pft. No way, Mullet. I don’t believe you. No girl would want to kiss you with that greasy thing on your head” he said, flicking a piece of Keith’s hair out of his face. His movement was far gentler than his tone would imply.

“You’re right” Keith said passively.

“See?” Lance grinned triumphantly, jabbing a finger into Keith’s side. “I’m the reigning make-out champ—“

“You’re right” Keith repeated. “No girl would want to make out with me” Lance’s mouth hung open, his hand midair as he processed what Keith was saying.

“N… Huh?” Keith closed his eyes and smirked. He loved making Lance so flustered.

“Sure, you’ve probably kissed more girls than me. But I’ve kissed more guys. And overall I’ve definitely got you beat” Lance melted at Keith’s boldness.

Keith swiftly rolled over so he was on his stomach, facing Lance. He peered up at him through his eyelashes and smiled. “Like I said, I’m kind of a slut” Lance blushed deeply as he stared at Keith, wide eyed. “How many people have you kissed, exactly?”

It took Lance several seconds to be able to form a coherent sentence. “Ah- I- Uh, I’m… T- twelve” He was used to being the blatant one, the one to make others sputter and blush. He wasn’t sure how he felt about being on the receiving end of it.

Keith quirked his eyebrow and made a humming noise before lowering his head. Lance waited for him to respond with his number, but Keith stayed quiet.

“W- Well!?” Keith lifted his chin and frowned slightly.

“‘Well’ what?” He asked teasingly. Lance’s blush deepened.

“H- Wh—“ The fucker was really going to make him ask. “How many- How many... people have you kissed?” he asked through grit teeth.

“Thirteen” he smirked. “Eleven guys, two girls, but the girls were when I was like eight so I don’t know if they really count” he shrugged. Lance crossed his arms across his chest defensively. He wanted to say they didn’t count so that he would win, but three of his were also when he was eight.

“It counts” he said bitterly. Keith looked up smugly.

“So I guess that means I win then, huh?” Lance’s face turned ten shades darker as he sputtered.

“Sh- Shut up!” he said loudly. “You only beat me by one! I can still easily win!” He argued. Keith grinned and sat up, mirroring Lance’s cross-legged position.

“Really?” he asked dangerously, leaning in close. “And how exactly are you going to beat me?” he teased. Lance studied Keith’s face intensely, trying to come up with the answer. Keith had never returned Lance’s teasings before. He really wasn’t sure how he was supposed to act. He found himself wondering if this is how Keith felt all the time.

“I—“ Suddenly his heart started thumping wildly in his chest as a thought popped into his mind. He tried to dismiss it as crazy but… was it so crazy? I mean, Keith had been spending more and more time with him lately, and he’d admitted he’d kissed numerous boys. Plus he’d been teasing (flirting with?) him the whole night.

Lance’s face twitched and his body jerked forward seemingly on its own. He froze mere inches away from Keith’s nose. A breath caught in his throat. Keith’s face went blank.

They sat there together, neither moving nor breathing for what felt like a lifetime before Keith lifted his chin, rubbing his nose slightly against Lance’s.

“Not so confident now, huh?” Keith breathed. Lance made a noise of annoyance as Keith pulled away slightly. Lance splayed his hand on the nape of Keith’s neck and pulled him closer. Their breaths intermingled as they stared into each other’s eyes. Keith’s eyelashes fluttered shut and before Lance could stop himself he pressed a quick kiss to Keith’s mouth. It was barely more than a brush of the lips, but still, it happened.

Lance’s eyes widened when he realized what he had done, then he slowly relaxed and smiled. A blush crept up his neck yet again. He shyly leaned forward, until they were a hair-width away and exhaled. “Can- Can I kiss you? Like, a real kiss?” he asked breathlessly. Keith nodded. Lance testingly brushed his lips against Keith’s a second time, and then cocked his head slightly so that they fit together more comfortably. He slowly began to work his mouth against Keith’s, and hummed in appreciation when Keith sloppily returned the gesture. The two moved together in unison, licking into each others mouths. The only sound was the creak of the bed and the occasional panting of breath when they broke apart.

“Not to like… ruin the moment” Lance said in between desperate kisses. “But, since I kissed you, that means we’re tied, right?” Keith stalled his kisses, much to Lance’s dismay. He squinted his eyes to see if Lance was joking or not and then snorted when he realized that Lance was seriously.

“Yeah, sure, whatever” Keith grunted before pulling Lance’s mouth back down to his. He ran his fingers through Lance’s silky hair and smiled. He didn’t care if Lance wanted to think that he was the king of the world at that moment. He just needed Lance to kiss him again.

“WAIT!” Lance gasped pulling away. “Shit, we kissed each other so we both went up one. You’re still winning” Keith resisted the urge to groan.

“You’re so fucking stupid” And just like that, they were at it again. “Why am I always attracted to complete idiots?” he grumbled when they stopped for a moment to get some air.

Lance wiggled his eyebrows as a shit-eating grin appeared on his face. “So you admit that you’re into me?” Keith scoffed and pushed Lance’s shoulder in annoyance.

“We’re literally making out right now. Do you have to ask?” The tips of his ears turned red from embarrassment.

“Uh, with you? Absolutely. You’re the most vague and confusing person that I’ve ever met” he said. “Which I totally dig about you! It makes you sexy and mysterious” he added quickly. Keith buried his face in his hands.

“Jesus, yes, I like you, okay? Now can you shut up and kiss me some more” he whined. Lance obliged.

They made out until the morning lights in the castle turned on. They were both delirious and out of breath. With flushed faces and drooping eyelids they decided to try and get a few minutes of sleep before they had to get up.

Lance laid down on the pillow, Keith slotting in between his legs with ease. They fit together so perfectly. Lance put a hand on the small of Keith’s back and smiled.

Sometimes 4am questions led to very pleasing results.

~   ~   ~

| Other fics | Ko-fi |

[iamanartichoke]

It’s almost 4am, I can’t sleep because of Reasons, and my brain isn’t functioning enough to be productive, so I’m just gonna fill out this writing meme. So, yeah, if you’re interested in some very long, self-indulgent writing babble, keep reading, and if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry the cut doesn’t work. 

1. What are your favourite genres and/or styles to write in?

Contemporary lit has always been my thing. I was never really into reading or writing much action/adventure or fantasy, which is weird because I was very into shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and LOST - but, I was mostly into those shows for the very rich character dynamics and developments, so. Anyway, Sanctuary is the first thing I’ve written in my life that isn’t in the contemporary, real-world genre and I’m doing okay with it, but I do sometimes get a little paranoid that it’s too character focused with not enough action/comic-genre stuff going on. This is really stepping outside of the box for me, to be honest. 

(I just remembered that I did write some Batman fanfic when I was maybe 16  or so, but I’m not sure it counts bc it was terrible and I pretty much just wrote  a Buffy-esque character to be Batman’s sappy love interest. God, how embarrassing.) 

2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?

Okay, so, when I was finishing grad school, I had to complete a “publishable” thesis project and mine is/was this collection of linked short stories that I spent probably a good year and a half (including my thesis semester) working on. Technically, I did finish it enough that it passed the graduation requirements, and I have been chipping away at it on and off since then, but after I graduated, I just ... stopped writing, in general. Depression and real life are a shitty combination for writers with very little internal motivation. But, despite that, this collection holds a very dear place in my heart. There are seven stories total, all young adult, coming-of-age themed, and they’re linked by character in that they all take place in a small town and the characters from each story sort of know each other in passing, as happens in a small town. There’s room for ten stories, because it’s a nice, even number. I love all of the characters and I think it could be something really great and could be published successfully - just, it needs a lot more work to get to that point. Eventually it will. Anyway, yes, that’s my last “finished” writing project and I do feel a modicum of success toward it, for what it’s worth. 

3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?

I am actually 85% pleased with how Sanctuary is going. I started writing the fic without any real idea of what I wanted to do with it or where it would go - I was just having a lot of Loki feels during a difficult time in my life. Prior to this, I would handle my Character Feels by indulging in a lot of watches and re-watches and occasionally making music videos and sometimes fan art (graphics, I can’t draw for shit), but these methods just weren’t cutting it this time ... and hence, fic was born. 

It’s not a perfect story, of course - there are some inconsistencies and errors and the writing can always be more polished, but I’m just happy that I’ve stuck with it for this long and allowed it to develop the way that it has. I’m able to flex my writing muscles and get back into the practice of it while having fun at the same time. The story is four chapters away from completion, but I have plans for a sequel and also a couple of one-shots from Thor’s POV that I want to play around with. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with where I am in my little fic-verse right now. 

When it comes to original fiction, aside from the aforementioned short story collection, I am in the plotting stages of a novel involving reincarnation, because I am tropey trash, but it has potential. So, there’s that. 

4. What are your favourite places to write?

I actually feel like I write more productively when I am away from my apartment, which is a conundrum because I pretty much only leave my apartment to go to work or, like, the grocery store. I have a job that allows me to be at a computer for most of the day, so when I’m not busy, I like to write at work. I weirdly feel more productive and clear-headed at desktop computers, but I don’t have one of my own, so when I’m not at work or at the library, I write on my laptop in places like Barnes and Noble or laying in bed like a lazy bum. I do have a desk at home, but it is woefully neglected, I’m sad to say. 

5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?

9 times out of 10, I type. However, when I am struggling particularly hard with writer’s block, I’ll write long hand because, for whatever reason, switching methods jolts my brain a little bit and gets the juices flowing again. I wrote the entirety of the Kree battle and Val/Loki in the infirmary (I forget what chapter that was) long hand, among other scenes. 

6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?

My childhood is filled to the brim with embarrassing fiction. I don’t remember my first character, to be honest - I remember being in fourth grade and writing some kind of story for Young Author’s Day at school, and that’s the first thing I remember even writing, but I couldn’t tell you what the story was or who the characters were to save my life. When I was in sixth grade, I discovered S.E. Hinton’s books, and from that point on, I spiraled down into the genre of coming-of-age, tortured, sad protagonists (God, Ponyboy Curtis was my first spirit animal, talk about tragic) and I’ve never quite looked back. 

7. Where do you get your inspiration?

Where don’t I get my inspiration, would be a better question. Music is a big inspiration - sometimes I’ll hear a lyric that I want to put to a story, or a song will have a storyline that I like and that’ll get the creative juices flowing. I do get some inspiration from real life, but I shy away from writing anything too closely related to my own life - things that I pull from my life are incredibly fictionalized, but the roots are sometimes there, if that makes sense. Movies and TV shows, of course, especially with character types that I’m drawn to. Other people’s literature is a big inspiration, too. Idk, I think inspiration just comes from everywhere. Everyone and everything has a story that can be told. 

8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?

I’m kind of 75/25 on this - 75% lives in my head and 25% is outlined, but the outline is always kind of a loose guideline that may end up completely changing by the time the words are actually on the page. I mostly use outlines to put things down tangibly when they get too cluttered in my head and I start confusing myself. I also use outlines to keep track of plot threads, to try to keep things consistent. For Sanctuary, my outline is a mixture of what I want to accomplish in each chapter and an extensive notes section on various canon I’m using, so that I can keep things straight. 

9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?

Writing long-hand is a thing I already talked about. Other things I find helpful: going for a long drive to just sort of let myself zone out and think about the story without the pressure of sitting at the computer, listening to music ... sometimes I just put the story away completely and let it sit while I do/focus on other things, and I come back to it refreshed and ready to try again. 

10. What got you starting writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)

I don’t know - writing has just always been a part of who I am. The urge to write was something that came very naturally to me. I’m sure being a voracious reader was part of it, too - I grew up reading books like there was no tomorrow, and I was a very introverted, shy child, so I read more than I talked to people, and that just sort of naturally translated into writing stories of my own. I’ve never been a people-person in that I don’t like interacting with people much (in real life, anyway) but I like to examine and think about how people work, and it’s a strange thing but so it goes. But yeah - there’s no real “origin story” with me, just a long history of being a reclusive nerd. 

I guess this is a tagging meme but I wasn’t tagged, so if anyone out there wants to do it, feel free, I’d love to read other people’s responses if you feel like sharing them. :) 

[ladydlite]

Backstage Romance, a BTS Jin fanfic.

Hello again, I've written another BTS fanfic. This one is centered on Jin. I hope you like it. BACKSTAGE ROMANCE I'm so lucky, I know ARMY would probably kill to be me, hey they might even kill me if they thought they could have my job. I'm a PD with BTS. I've worked with them pretty much since their debut, well on and off at least. I see them in a way that only a PD would know. I see them sleepy, with no makeup or contacts in the mornings. I see them on tour. When they're sick and unhappy. I see them when they've performed on stage and they're still pumped from the adrenaline. I see them just before they go on and the nerves are mounting. I think I'm the luckiest girl in the world. I, of course, am a fan. Don't tell my bosses though, if they knew I was ARMY and that I have a huge crush on Jin, who is my bias, I'd most likely get the sack. I work really hard not to let them or the guys know that every time I get to spend with them I'm trying not to A) faint, B) blush, C) ask for their autographs or D) take sneaky photos of them. It's in my contract if you're curious. Also I have a huge respect for them and I don't want them to feel uncomfortable with me, so I don't do any of those things though inside I'm a screaming fangirl! Seokjin is my ultimate bias and I like to pretend every kiss he blows is really for me. Lame, huh? I could gush for hours about him but I won't because that's not really why I'm here. I guess it kind of started a while back, I was on backstage camera, I bet you've seen them on the BTS channel. I have to ask them questions, I do all the guys, and I'm one of a group, there's quite a few of us who get to talk to them. Seokjin and Taehyung tend to play act with the cameras, we have like a basic home video type cameras, so we walk around with our hands out stretched and Seokjin and Taehyung have this game where they "fight" for the camera's attention/love like it was a heroine in a drama. Every time i'm on the camera's when they do it, I'm blushing and thankfully it's low light backstage and the light on the front of the camera obscures my face. I'd die if Seokjin caught me blushing as he flirts with the camera. And yes, before you ask, I watch it on their channel and then save it on my list so I can pretend for just a few moments that he really does love me and that we really are together. This time, some of the footage had to be cut, I fell backwards. The guys were playing acting like always and I was trying to keep them in frame as they fake "fought" over whose girlfriend the camera was I stumbled backwards and landed with a bump. The second I went down both Taehyung and Seokijin were at my side picking me up and dusting me off, making sure I was okay. I, obviously, was dying of embarrassment and blushing like a strawberry!! I couldn't look at Jin at all, and tried desperately to laugh it off. Taehyung sort of looked at me weird, as if he'd figured out something and pulled away from me as Seokjin held on to my elbow and tried to look into my face, as I looked down at my shoes, his shoes and the floor. I didn't sleep that night, between Taehyung's look which made me nervous I'd get into trouble, because I was convinced he'd realized my huge crush on Seokjin and the sensation of Jin's hand on my arm which I swear I could still feel even at 4am. I was nervously fangirl-ing into the early hours. Anyway, after that I did my best to keep control of myself but I swear that Seokjin paid me more attention. He is so kind, so sweet, so gentle, and like some kind of hero in a romance novel. It wasn't like he suddenly was super attentive, I'm still working after all, but he'd look over at me if I was with them more than he had before. It's like he could recognize me out of the other PD's, I wasn't just another female PD, I was the girl who fell backwards. They sort of know our names, I mean there's so many of us, but we're introduced when we start working with them, only the super regular PD's or the makeup crew and dressers are really well known by the guys, but I noticed he tried to remember my name. When he called me by my name one time, I swear I thought my knees were going to fail me and I was going to drop to the floor! Later I got called to my supervisor's office and told I'd be on regular group rotation. Hang on, you guys have no clue what I'm talking about. Okay, so like I said before there are ALOT of us female PD's, like hundreds, we not only help BTS but other bands under the BigHit banner, so often we get moved around and only a very few are regulars, we call them Super Regulars to differentiate them from the rest of us. Super Regulars are on one rotation, they are with one group and one group only, they work in 14 day rotations, so for 14 days they are work with the group and then they get 10 days on administration, usually helping with office work. It's sort of boring but it means that they group likes you if you get put on as a Super Regular, it's hardly ever the group that asks for you, but their handlers and it's more better paid than just regular PD's. So I guess it was about a month after my fall when I got put on as one of the Super Regulars for BTS, my supervisor was looking at me appraisingly, "You must have made an impression!" She said, "It's not often one of the group members requests a Super Regular!" I must have looked puzzled, because the next thing she said was, "You must have worked hard to have Kim Seokjin ask for you particularly." I bowed and thanked her for the opportunity, and then she dismissed me, I went out the office and then ran to the ladies to scream into my sweater, I checked it was empty in there first. Then I stood at the mirror and took some deep breaths. I had to control myself, I couldn't work with the amazing, cool, sexy, sweet, gentle, beautiful and generous Jin if I couldn't control my inner fangirl. After that I got to help them get food, make sure they had everything before each show, I would make sure the makeup artists and dressers had the guys personal items before every shoot and basically for 14 days every other 10 days I was in ARMY heaven. Every time I was with the guys Seokjin would talk to me and use my name, soon the other guys knew my name too and I'd get called for specifically. I mean, I worked really hard, I kind of felt like I needed to earn my right to be there so I did everything I could and everything the crew would ask me. I really wanted to thank Seokjin, for basically getting me a promotion but there was never an appropriate moment, until I decided it would be better for me just to write him a note and leave it on his makeup table. So the day of their next concert I put a letter for him in an envelope on his table, I'd spent the night worrying over it, how to write it without gushing or sounding like a crazed fangirl. Both of which you know I am, but it's not something i wanted him to know. I wanted to sound professional and serious, so he'd know I meant what I said and that my thank you was sincere. I made sure not to be there when he read it, that would have been too embarrassing!! Anyway, I worked hard as usual and then was lucky enough to get on the camera's team backstage. I made sure I didn't fall over this time and giggled when Taehyung and Seokjin played up to the camera and once more "fought" over the cameras love. It was fun, as usual. When the camera's team was done and all the guys had answered the questions, I took the back camera to the technicians and made my way backstage to leave, when Seokjin called me, not many people were around and I was feeling kind of nervous as he stood in front of me. "I just wanted to tell you that you didn't have to thank me," he said, "I wanted to see you more often, that why I asked for you. Thanks for the letter though." Then I swear I must have passed out and was dreaming because the next second he was placing a sweet kiss on my cheek. He slowly took his face away from mine, but as his face was inches from mine I looked into his beautiful eyes and my breathing grew shallow. He looked at me with such an intensity I thought I might die, I could feel as my face burned with the inevitable blush. Then I did something I never ever thought I'd do, I took his shirt in my hands and pulled him into a deep and passionate kiss. I don't know what came over me, I just couldn't resist the urge, the temptation of that intense look in his eye, a kind of realization and I knew I just had to kiss him and miracles of miracles he kissed me back, pretty soon I'd maneuvered him to the back wall and our kiss was full of desire, hot lustful desire raging through us and our lips. That's when my sanity returned and I pulled away from him, I looked at him, my breath shallow and ragged from the kisses we'd shared and I was speechless, I realized what I'd done and I turned and ran. I grabbed my stuff from the staff cloak room and ran home, not looking back once. I spent the night pacing my flat, one half of me was exhilarated and on cloud 9 having shared a kiss, kisses with the amazingly beautiful Seokjin that he'd responded to and the other half was kicking myself for being so stupid and willful. I mean in one fell swoop I'd ruined my career, and left Seokjin open to a huge sensational scandal, which would destroy BTS, the one group that I loved more than my own life. I couldn't think what to do, but then about 4am I realized I could only do one thing, I'd have to resign at least as Super Regular for BTS, and possibly from my job with BigHit all together. I would sign a confidentiality agreement and never breath a word of what had happened and I'd leave, because I would never be able to look at Seokjin or the rest of the guys again without feeling like a creeping slut who took advantage of gentlemen. That's how I ended up in my supervisors office at 9am, softly explaining what I'd done and handing her a letter of resignation. She was shocked, I could tell, and when I asked her to arrange a non-disclosure agreement she dumbly nodded and called the legal department. Soon it was over, I'd signed the agreement, even after the legal rep told me it wasn't necessary since I'd already signed one at acceptance of the job offer, I shook my head and signed another one anyway, I wanted to make quite sure that BigHit knew I wasn't about to go around spreading things. I cried as I left, having emptied my locker and desk, I couldn't help feeling like my life was over. I spent the next 10 days or so hiding in my apartment, heartbroken and anti social, when the doorbell rang. I answered but only because I thought it was my take out delivery, I buzzed up the person at the main door and opened my apartment door. It was then that I think I nearly had a heart attack, within a few moments Seokjin was standing at my front door. "What are you doing here?" I asked shocked. "Can I come in? I... I have to talk to you! Please, I don't want to do this on the doorstep but I will if I have to!" He said his eyes soft, like a puppy. I let him in, I didn't want the neighbors to see him and thereby causing him a scandal after I'd sacrificed everything to avoid one. "I'm sorry I didn't come earlier but I didn't realize you'd quit until yesterday when you weren't helping us," he said as he stood in my living room. "I should have asked them to let you know," I mumbled nervously. "Why did you quit? I... I was desperate to see you again after we kissed," he said searching my face for answers. His face was so concerned I started to cry, I was trying so hard to control myself but his worry was too much for me. He came up to me then and put his hands on my arms, "I.. I'm sorry, i should have never kissed you like that," i spluttered between sobs as I struggled to regain my control. "But... it was the best kiss I've ever had! Please don't apologize like it was something bad, I've relived that kiss over and over, desperately waiting to see you again," he said tilting my chin to look up at him. "I jeopardized your career, the group, I shouldn't have just..." I started to cry again, I'd spent days, nights hating myself for putting him in a position like that. It just all spilled out. "How? You did what I was just about to do, when i kissed your cheek and saw your beautiful face, it made me realize how much I'd been wanting to kiss you since you fell over with that stupid camera!" I laughed then through my tears, he sounded so happy, I couldn't help but feel happier. Here he was holding me, telling me he felt the same way as I did, it was like a movie or a novel or something, it didn't feel real. "So, I didn't need to quit then, you don't think I'm a heartless gold digger?" I said swallowing my tears. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you fell over and then you kissed me and I wanted you so badly so I kissed you back, you're no heartless anything, you're like my own Disney Princess!" He said as he looked at my face. "I might have asked to quit but only so that you could be my girlfriend." I started to giggle again then, I was so happy, I couldn't stop. So he made me, he kissed me again then, deeply and passionately and was falling deeper into him. I pulled away from him for a moment to catch my breath. "How did you end up here?" I asked a sudden wave of curiosity crashing over me. "When I finally found out that you'd quit I went to your ex- supervisor and demanded she give me your address, which she did. Then i rushed over here, I had to see you and tell you how I feel!" He said still looking all over my face like he was committing it to memory. That's all I'm going to tell you, we spent the rest of the day there, sharing take out and sitting on my sofa, me in my pajamas and him holding me like he wouldn't ever let me go. I hope he never ever does!