#don’t even get me started about that awful wig

[silver-wildfyre]

No no no why is Yennefer’s halter top monstrosity giving Maddie from Euphoria vibes????

What have you DONE Netflix??!??

[notakugelblitz]

DELORES PART 1 • Five Hargreeves x Fem!Reader

something sweet to soothe your anger dearest brellies 🥰 takes place during season 4 episode 1, no warning all safe. enjoy !

Y/N had worked with Five at the Commission. She was with him on the day of JFK's assassination, and when he mentioned the possibility of escaping the company, she thought, why not? The Handler still hadn't given her the promotion she'd been promised 15 years ago, and the health insurance was worthless by then ...

Y/N followed Five through three apocalypses, becoming a teenager again. At least she no longer had the beginnings of arthritis, which she was more grateful for than her colleague. The Hargreeves quickly took Y/N under their wing, appreciating her a lot, especially since she had the gift of shutting Five up.

Y/N and Five became very good friends. Once the umbrella Academy lost their powers in this new timeline, Y/N chose to open a bookstore, while Five became a CIA agent. They met from time to time, enjoying each other's company over a black coffee on a terrace. In six years, nothing ambiguous had happened between them. Y/N wasn't sure if she wanted it to or not—it was a strange feeling. But now, with her new life started, she had time. If Five was interested, he would make a move; if not, so be it. But this was the calm before the storm...

Five entered the secret meeting set in an apartment with a classy, dimly lit atmosphere. The place was spacious, hosting about thirty people. Five smoothed his mustache, grabbed a glass of champagne from the buffet, and scanned the room. Just as he thought he recognized Lila, another young woman caught his attention. She was leaning against the balcony, her face hidden as she stood with her back to him. She had long, straight auburn hair, styled with a yellow beret. She was wearing a white shirt with black polka dots, neatly tucked into her pencil skirt.

Five felt a drop of sweat trickle down his temple and took a deep breath before joining her. He also leaned on the balcony, just like she did, barely daring to look at her.

"Beautiful night, isn’t it?" Y/N murmured, a simple smile on her lips.

She didn’t meet his gaze either, which slightly irritated Five. He finally turned his head and recognized Y/N.

"What the hell are you doing ..."

The words escaped his mouth when he noticed the name on her nametag : Delores. Five almost choked on his champagne.

"Yeah, the champagne is disgusting, I agree. But the hors d'oeuvres are delicious though. You should try them!" "What are you doing here? Don’t tell me you’re part of this ridiculous support group ..."

Y/N burst into laughter, shaking her head.

"Oh no, no ... I came with "Nancy" so Diego wouldn’t ask too many questions. But this wig is seriously itching. It's awful." Y/N explained, amused, scratching her scalp.

She then turned her attention to Five and looked at his nametag.

"Jerome? That doesn’t suit you very well. I wonder where you got that name..." "It wasn’t my choice. And where did you get yours?" he retorted, frowning.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, surprised by his sudden cold and somewhat aggressive tone.

"I like that name." Y/N simply said. "And that shirt—do you like it too? It’s hideous." "I found it in a thrift shop—it seemed nice... hey! What’s gotten into you?" Y/N finally exclaimed. "Bullshit." "Five what the hell!"

Y/N seemed sincere. She had no idea what her cover name meant to him. After all these years, he had never told her about Delores. Instead of apologizing, he downed his glass of champagne.

"So, those hors d'oeuvres?" Five asked.

Y/N laughed lightly, understanding it was his awkward way of apologizing. Just as she was about to praise the treats, Jean and Gene appeared, announcing the start of the meeting.

What followed was a very eventful evening. The Umbrella Effect, interacting with Jean and Gene, dining with Lila and Five, Viktor's kidnapping... it felt like the old days! And throughout it all, Five kept giving Y/N odd looks. Why had fate embedded the love of his life so clearly in his friend and colleague? Five didn’t believe in coincidences; he never had.

Y/N had noticed those supposedly discreet glances, which intrigued her a lot. Especially since she could feel her cheeks flush like a 16-year-old girl.

Despite everything, the Hargreeves ended their evening at an Asian restaurant to debrief. Having retrieved the Marigold thanks to Sy, most of them decided not to take it. This surprised Y/N a lot. Powers... that was the dream, wasn’t it?

While Ben was in the bathroom, Y/N leaned toward Five.

"Imagine what you could do for the CIA with your teleportation..." she whispered. "Shut up, Y/N." Five murmured. "No, but seriously! I don’t know what I’d give to be special like you guys were! If it were up to me, I’d drink that jar dry!"

Five chuckled sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"If you think this is one of those stupid Marvel movies, think again. Having powers comes with great responsibilities, sure—the responsibility to control them and not cause an apocalypse." "Killjoy..." Y/N sighed. "And for your information..." Five hesitated before continuing in a lower voice, leaning a bit closer to her. "You don’t need that to be... special."

Coming from his mouth, it sounded weird. Reaching her ears, it sounded weird. Y/N sat up straight and silently thanked some higher force when Ben arrived with a tray of eight shots. While everyone found an excuse to leave, Ben convinced them to drink. "For old time's sake," he said.

Everyone gave in, and when Y/N realized she didn’t have a glass, she felt disheartened.

"Can’t I celebrate our reunion?" she asked. "You're not part of the family." Ben snapped. "Wow, Ben, that’s rude!" Luther exclaimed. "Y/N is more family than you ever were." Five groaned, pointing a threatening finger at him. "No, it's fine, let it go, Five." Y/N sighed, though Five’s words had touched her.

She stepped aside, letting them toast. Just as everyone raised their glasses to their lips, Klaus nudged Y/N and handed her his glass.

"OnJanuary 15th, it'll be 3 years that I am sober. Tonight’s not the night I’ll mess that up, and certainly not for old time's sake." Klaus whispered. "I can’t accept that ..." Y/N politely refused. "Oh, come on, down it or I’ll tell everyone you slept with Five at Luther’s wedding."

Y/N gasped, grabbed the glass, drank it down in record time, and handed it back to Klaus. No one seemed to notice the trick, and that was just as well.

Y/N still had that awful taste in her mouth. Maybe she shouldn’t have drunk that glass. After all, Klaus was lying. Wasn’t he? It was true she had a total blackout that night, but... her and Five? No... right?

Once outside, everyone said their goodbyes. As Y/N tried to figure out where Klaus had gone so she could question him, a car pulled up next to her. The passenger window rolled down, and she bent down to see the driver. It was Five.

"I’ll give you a ride." "No, it’s okay, I’m not far..." "That wasn’t a question," Five said, leaning over to open the passenger door.

Y/N sighed but couldn’t help smiling. She got in, buckled up, and Five started the car.

"Be honest with me, Y/N." he said seriously, focusing on the road. "Mmh?" "Why Delores? And why that damn polka dot shirt?"

Y/N widened her eyes.

"You're still hung up on that!" she exclaimed. "I’ve changed since then..." "Stop it right now, Y/N. This isn’t funny," he growled. "Look, Five, I don’t understand! You’re completely crazy!" "Why Delores?" "I don’t know, okay?" she yelled back. "I don’t know."

She repeated the sentence silently to herself.

"The name just came to me, and the shirt was the cheapest... I swear, Five, I’ve never been more honest with you..."

Five finally looked at her and realized she was telling the truth. When they arrived at the bookstore, he parked on the side of the road.

"I’m sorry, Y/N... it’s just that... I knew a Delores a long time ago, and... she looked just like you."

Y/N, surprised, met his gaze and tilted her head to the side.

"I never thought the famous Five Hargreeves had a romance," she breathed.

Five nodded , locking eyes with her sparkling ones. He had always loved that color, though he would never admit it. He looked away, eyes fixed on the steering-wheel. Fortunately Y/N didn't know Delores was a mannequin. Five kept silent, thinking about this damn coincidence and its probable meaning.

Y/N didn’t know what to say so she got out of the car, feeling unsettled. As she headed towards the bookstore, she suddenly stopped, turned around, and walked back to the car, leaning against the window on Five’s side.

“Be honest with me, Five.” she said seriously.

Five chuckled softly, amused by this ongoing joke, and nodded, signaling her to continue.

“What happened at Luther’s wedding?” she asked suddenly.

Five frowned. Why was she asking about that now?

“They got married,” he said simply. “Haha, very funny. No, seriously, between us... did something happen?”

Five discreetly swallowed and started the car.

“You should go home, it’s getting late.”

Y/N groaned and walked around the front of the car again so that he couldn't leave, suddenly opening the passenger door and sitting down.

“What are you doing…?” “You agreed to be honest with me. And you’re not. So I won’t move until…” “Fine.” "Oh, that was quick."

Five immediately started driving and continued in silence.

“Aren’t you going to say something?” “No.” “So, is this a kidnapping?” “Call it whatever you want. You learned how to jump out of a moving car at the Commission, so if your ass is still in that seat, it means you don’t really want to leave.”

Point for him. The silence was fine at the beginning, but it grew heavier and heavier minutes after minutes. Y/N was relieved when she recognized the streets as they were arriving at the parking lot of Five's apartment. He turned off the car and slumped further into his seat. Y/N could tell he was hiding something.

“So. Did we sleep together that night?” she asked bluntly.

Five’s eyes widened.

“What! Who told you that nonsense?” he exclaimed with an amused tone. “Klaus… he…” “You know Klaus always exaggerates, Y/N…”

Y/N lowered her eyes, embarrassed for having believed it so easily. Five noticed her distress and sighed. He rummaged through an inner pocket of his jacket, hesitating before pulling out a Polaroid photo. He handed it to Y/N nonchalantly. She looked at him, then at the photo, which she took with apprehension. It was taken at Luther’s wedding. Y/N and Five were on stage. A microphone stand separated them, only a few centimeters from each other's face. They looked completely drunk, which explained why they were singing so close and why Y/N had no memory of it.

“Just imagine eyes like moon rise, a voice like music, lips like wine.” Five muttered, glancing at her from the corner of his eye.

Y/N looked up at him. Those were the lyrics to a love song by Frank Sinatra, yet it sounded oddly different coming from his mouth.

“Please, tell me…” she whispered.

Five sighed, knowing full well he had reached a point of no return.

“We overdid it on the alcohol that night. And with the apocalypse looming... it makes you do things you wouldn’t normally be capable of.”

He paused, but Y/N smiled, encouraging him to continue.

“You seemed different that night. You had no filter. You never had one when it came to annoying me, but for saying nice things, well... and you were really beautiful. And without thinking, I grabbed that mic and sang that stupid Sinatra song. And you looked at me with those eyes. They sparkled like… like the Kugelblitz. Almost more. And you joined me, and we made quite the duo, I must say. I can't fucking remember the name of the song as we were only babbling incomprehensible lyrics.”

Y/N was speechless.

“So…” “No sex. Pure fluff, even though it’s a disgusting word to say.”

Y/N chuckled.

“And you kissed me,” Five finally said, emotionless.

Everything seemed so unreal, yet he looked sincere.

“Why didn’t you tell me for six years?” she asked, shocked. “I… I chickened out. You didn’t remember, so it gave you the chance to start fresh.”

Suddenly, Y/N slapped him across the face, the sound of the slap echoing through Dallas. Five didn't blink, feeling like it was deserved somehow.

“You’re such an idiot.” “I know.”

They remained silent for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes. If any member of the Umbrella Academy had the power to read minds, they would’ve run away, given the turmoil that stirred within them.

Y/N thought back to all those moments spent with Five, and of course, they had a different flavor than those shared with an actual colleague. Despite their constant teasing, Five had always been there for Y/N, and vice versa. They understood each other, given their age and experience. Everything suddenly became clear.

And then, in perfect synchronization, they kissed passionately, Y/N placing her hands on Five’s cheeks while he firmly gripped her waist. It was a fiery kiss, making up for all the lost time due to misplaced pride. Out of breath, Y/N pulled back slightly to look at him, a smirk on her lips.

“What? Don’t make me regret what just happened…” Five chuckled. “Firsy things first, secretly keeping a picture of me is weird. Secondly, the song by Sinatra ... It is named Dolores. Just saying…” Y/N laughed, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear that had fallen over his bright eyes.

"Shut it." he groaned, pecking your lips to make you silent. But then , he approaches his lips to your ear, whispering.

“It seems that no matter the timeline, I’m destined to have a Delores getting in my way.”

Y/N burst out laughing, and Five couldn’t help but smile sincerely. It felt good to come out of his shell, especially for Y/N. Five invited Y/N to spend the night at his place. This sudden happiness seemed surreal, yet it was very real. The idea of a normal life together seemed so pleasant. If only they knew ...

here it is, i really hope you liked it ! sorry if you spotted some mistakes, English isn’t my first language.

would you be interested in a part 2 now that Y/N swallowed up a shot of marigold ? just sayin’ … 😏

[annes-andromeda]

Season 2 of HOTD is almost here and oml, every single goddamn thing I’ve seen regarding not just Team Green, but the plot in general, sounds awful.

We got:

Alicent still trying to make peace with Rha*nyra despite the latter not giving two flying fucks about her and Rha*nyra allowing B&C to happen and not punishing Da*mon. And don’t even get me started on the rumors of that supposed peace treaty in the finale🙄

Aemond calling his own mother a fool and addressing her by her FIRST NAME. It was literally established that these two have a strong bond but suddenly it’s thrown down the drain. Granted we green fans expected Aemond and Alicent to drift apart after L*ke’s death but not like this bro. Book!Aemond was cruel and awful, but he would never disrespect his mother like that. I honestly pray we get a scene of Criston defending her.

Everything about Helaena. Just. Everything. Her caught in the made-up King’s Landing riot with Alicent that didn’t happen in the book despite the fact that both her and her mother were stated as being beloved by the people. Supposedly rumors of Helaena having a nightmare about Da*mon having s*x with her (ugh just let it be Aegon pls I’m not a shipper but at least it would make sense). And apparently there may even be another riot during Jaehaerys’s funeral. Which again, DID NOT FUCKING HAPPEN.

Rha*nyra wielding a goddamn sword and still being portrayed as Mother Mary herself and being so dutiful and amazing and good🙄. Like, book!Rha*nyra was an awful person, but at least she was entertaining and had an actual personality.

Rumors of Rhaena apparently claiming a dragon that may be Sheepstealer, which means they might give Nettles’s storyline to Rhaena which I hate. Granted it’s just a rumor, but I would actually scream if they erased not just Nettles, but Morning as well.

I’m pretty sure there’s more but those are the main ones I can think of rn

Everything about the new season sounds so bad and I’m honestly thinking of not watching it at this point. Season 1 was bad enough with the villainizing of Team Green and the whitewashing of Team Black, but now they’re just going all out and continuing to climb the ladder of absurdity.

At this point I just feel bad for both Teams tbh. There’s no nuisance, no balanced focus on both sides, no effort to make both sides enjoyable. It’s very obvious that HBO has already chosen a side, and yet they’re still pushing the whole choosing teams agenda.

Only things that look promising are the upgraded wigs and costumes and Da*myra in their breakup era.

[star-dust-stuf]

Arthur Fleck x fem!reader

title: baby, think you’re bad?

warnings: violence, harassment

a/n: I wanted to write this because I think I’d be flattered if someone killed for me tbh, sorry for any typos, as always enjoy!

-

it was the last place I wanted to be, about nine at night on an empty bus- I wish it was empty all there was where three men sitting across me laughing like they where drunk and a man dressed as a clown a little farther from me but he didn’t seem to bother me as much as the drunk men across me. All the man in the clown suit did was mind his business, didn’t even look at me half the ride but he did when the men started to bother me and he saw it.

“Hey?” One of the men said, waving his hand to get my attention. I didn’t look up from my lap that my purse was sitting beside me and I was gripping on edge.

“Hello?!” He was getting angry I could tell by his voice, didn’t look.

“He’s trying to be nice, hey?” The other one day next to him, I saw by his shoes.

I turned my head slowly to the clown, a tear formed in my eye from fear and he saw this. He glanced at me and the men, again and again before on of the men threw a piece of rolled up paper at me that he grabbed from his pocket. I mad wit clear I was crying and they began to mock me.

“Aw, don’t cry!” They mocked, one of them touched my shoulder and slid next to me, he touched my thigh.

I tried to get up but he grabbed my wrist and sat me back down. “Let go of me!” I didn’t sound scared as much as I was.

All the sudden my attention was drawn to the man far from me, he began to laugh uncontrollably it seemed he couldn’t help it. “Something funny?” The man sat up and got towards him.

He still laughed and covered his mouth, they mocked him, laughing along and on of them even sat beside him, talk his wig off showing his brown hair that gleamed in the dim light as it flickered.

“I- have a- c- condition!” He laughed as he reached for his bag.

“This your friend?” The man said looking at me.

I didn’t say no or yes, I was too busy with the man next to me, he took it upon himself to put his hand on the back of my head, when my tears grew stronger he pulled my hair hard enough for me to yell out in pain.

Laughing, the man got up after the others knocked the bag from his hand, he heard me cry and felt to do something. I saw him reach in his back pocket but the man knocked him to the floor. The two men kicked him, the clown stayed down, not fighting, he was building the courage I saw on his face he was.

Holding himself he got fed up. A loud shot echoed and a yell escaped on of the men who slammed his body on the wall of the train, leaving a blood trail that stained. The other two men jumped, this time the clown had the gun pointed at the man next to me. He got up, hands in the air and he didn’t hesitate to shoot him down.

I screamed aloud and got to the floor, dragging myself to the door and putting my knees to my chest, my head faced down. One last man ended up making to the other part of the train and of course the clown followed, I heard the shots far from me.

Crying as the tears stained the floor under me, it was silent and all I could do was stay still, I had no choice but to pray to myself. Rocking back and forth I felt a gloved hand on my bare knee. I jumped.

“It’s ok..” I heard the clown say, he breathed heavily, his gun lied beside him as he was on his knees. His makeup was ruined, sweat drowned his makeup the blue was on his chin and the red stained his neck.

I looked at his gun, my tears swelled. “No- it’s ok I won’t hurt you!” He pushed his gun behind him.

He softly put my knees down, then putting my dress down over them to make me more comfortable, he was polite, and kind. He looked at me with his eyes, his so soft eyes. He was scared for himself, he’s never killed anyone and I saw that in his face.

“T- thank you.” I whispered to him.

He glanced at me, he was overall shocked. “What?”

I chocked, “thank you…”

He tilted his head, “why?”

“You helped me.”

“But I killed them.”

I shrugged, wiping the tears from my cheeks, “and?” He smiled, “is that really a- a condition?” I sniffed.

He tripped on his words. “Yeah.”

I nodded, “are you ok?”

He noticed I saw him being beaten on the ground. “Yeah…”

“Can I walk you home?”

“I killed three men, and you want to walk me home?”

I nodded, I wasn’t even thinking about what he did only why he did it, why did he do it? As we walked up the steps and I to a long tunnel to the city I wanted to know. He was tripping over his oversized shoes and I couldn’t help but smile.

“Why did you- do that?” I held my arms in the cold.

“They wouldn’t leave you alone, I guess I did it for myself too.” He saw me shivering.

Reaching into his bag he grabbed his oversized coat as well, matching his overall outfit. He put it over my shoulders and his sweet smile shined through his makeup. “Thanks.”

“Why aren’t you scared?” He questioned me.

I shrugged, “I guess I’m just grateful someone was there or it could’ve been worse.” He looked down at the wet pavement and smiled to his large shoes.

[daughter-of-prospero]

Jonah Rant

Someone on Youtube reminded me that I rage-typed an essay-length tirade about Jonah Magnus and his status as a certified Bastard Man right after the finale. They asked if there was a chance they could see it, which was a good question because did I even still have it? Turns out: Yes! It’s evidently been chilling in Onedrive for ~2 years. So for those who wish, my thoughts regarding that awful little man are below.

Spoilers for The Magnus Archives.

I went into the finale fully ready to not hear from Jonah again. I thought ‘oh, cosmic horror, as important as he thinks he is, he’s inconsequential and John just zaps him with eye lasers or something’. I didn’t want it per se, but I thought it was plausible.

But no. Oh no. Jonah Magnus speaks again, and he hasn’t been around for all of season 5. We heard him on a recording and we heard him chanting in the background and also all distorted in a job interview flashback, but there has been no actual uncompelled words being spoken by Jonah Magnus in real time since 159.

Yes he wrote the incantation but, rather crucially, he did not read it.

I binged TMA right as it got up to the season 4 finale. I got through season 1 in one day, and season 2 the next, and then got through three and four in the days after that. I caught up just in time for 160 to drop.

So I, foolish, naïve baby that I was, had over a year to forget what this character actually sounded like, and just how much of a slimy, insufferable fucker Jonah Magnus is. Was. Bitch.

I’ve gone into this elsewhere so I won’t belabor it but one of the reasons I’m so viscerally miffed by him is because of every human character in this podcast, he is the only one that is never shown sympathetically. I’m not counting Nikola Orsinov, or NotThems, or other manifestations of the Entities. I mean of the human, or avatar-human characters he is the least grey. Morality in this show is complex and tough to think about in my brain and one of the great ways it does this is through having really layered characters with motivations that are, at least a little, understandable. Jude Perry was a violent, sadistic lady...she was also devoted to Agnes and in some ways I think you could argue they were each other’s only links to humanity until what’s-his-name came along. Coffee shop Himbo guy. Peter Lukas is a misanthrope to the max who will send people into a nether realm if they so much as look at him wrong – which is to say, look at him at all. He was also raised to know nothing but loneliness, and pursuing it was kind of the only way he ever got some sort of approval. Which also manifested as more distance.

We get these little nuggets of what brought a villain where they are now, and we certainly don’t have to excuse them, but we have some context. We have some understanding that there is humanity in there, and that understanding makes them all the more unsettling.

Not fuckin’ Jonah.

What do we know about him? He’s a couple centuries old. Great. He found out about the powers, was drawn to the eye, and decided to start body-hopping to cheat death. He’s been doing this for ages. He tried a ritual and it failed. He took his time then, plotting and planning, and being smug, and finally arriving at a hypothesis that had a lot of credence to it. Everything fell into place, he was right, its all or nothing with the entities but the Eye rules because it opened the door (or WHATEVER).

So his big motivator is he doesn’t want to die.

And you know what, this is super understandable. We don’t know what his childhood was like (Jesus, can you imagine him in a little powder wig, climbing a tree to get a high vantage point to spy on people and get blackmail on them?), but fear of death is almost universal.

And of all the billions of people on this planet, I cannot help but notice that we are not thwarting narcissistic necromancers every fifteen minutes. Because the world would have fucking exploded a long, long time ago if we had more Jonahs in it. i.e. the people who would make aggressive selfishness a full-time occupation.

There’s a sort of cocktail of shit that makes him a memorable baddie not the least of which is that he never even attempts to justify his abhorrent actions. He’s not lying to himself, or anyone else, he’s not serving a cult, or a bunch of worms. He’s in it for himself, and if he has to stack the corpses of every living thing on the planet to reach immortality he’ll fucking do it without hesitation. Couple that with his manipulations, his merciless psychological torture, and a low, smooth voice that is always so infuriatingly composed and you have a Hell of a villain.

(I maintain that one of the reasons he’s so effective is that he enunciates so carefully. He doesn’t run words together, or mumble, he never really raises his voice, he is always in control, and everything is a flex right down to the articulation. I feel like we associate crisp, clear speech with formality, presidential addresses, or theater, things like that. Where you know what you are going to say and so the recitation is more confident. We hear this happen in statements, to a certain extent, but there’s still a lot of emotional range. For 199 episodes we never heard Jonah lose this pointed, smarmy tone. People don’t talk so formally in life, or when they’re talking on the podcast. There is something unsettling and intimidating about hearing such clear and confident speech all the time. It sounds like he knows exactly what to say in any situation. It sounds like he is utterly confident in every word that leaves his mouth. It sounds like he’s in a scene and no one else got the script but him. Because that is kinda what’s going on. At the very least, he thinks that’s what’s going on)

When he drops from wherever he’s suspended in the panopticon, he, you know, sort of makes a noise because that’s gotta be jarring. And we for once, for once, for fucking ONCE hear him even vaguely uncertain. And stupido io, I thought he was finally brought low and we might get a tantrum or something.

But no. Jonah Magnus has a lot of lost time to make up for, it’s been 20 eps since he’s been able to serenade everyone with his unique brand of horny arrogance. This motherfucker has exactly a millisecond of confusion and grogginess before “I was having the most...wonderful dream”. You can hear him edging.

And he’s kiiiiind of surprised to see John by himself with a knife, but still, so blasé, so, ‘oh, is that all?’ He’s a liiiiitle regretful to hear it’s over, but immediately heads into waxing rhapsodic about seeing a thousand lifetimes and the rapture of infinite sight and suffering and other Hellraiser shit when John speaks for all of us and tells him to shut up. Yet another reason to respect him.

And John has a lovely little catharsis where he gets to tell this orchestrator of his despair that Jonah has failed because the Things that Jonah is so devoted to will die a slow death. How long has he been waiting to say that, do you think? I mean at this point there’s nothing that could do what he’s probably feeling justice but he says it himself he gets some satisfaction from “knowing that I’ll be leaving these things that you serve trapped and starving in their own private hell.”

And all Jonah has to say is: “That we serve.” To the bitter, bitter end he is determined to just...okay I was gonna say twist the knife but that seems a bit tasteless now...determined to cause even more hurt. He cannot resist, it’s kind of all he knows. He is at the edge of a cliff and taunting the person that’s about to push him off of it.

And if you ever need a posterchild for ‘hubris’ just pull up a sound clip of Jonah Magnus. He tries to play the old ‘alright, playtime’s over,’ card, brushing the dust and what-the-fuck-ever else off his suit and manipulate John again. He has the...not even audacity, he’s looped back around from being semi-omniscient, to being so confident in that omniscience he thinks he knows everything and therefore acts way more stupidly than someone without that surety. He is enough of a dipshit to try and say to John “we both know you don’t have it in you”.

Motherfucker, what have you been doing for this entire season? What have you been doing this entire show? You have purposefully created someone who has withstood the brunt of every entity and come out more or less intact. You purposefully guided him into honing his powers, and put him in a position where he has nothing to lose. Well, Martin, but Jonah can’t do anything about that. Not anymore. Because the one person who can protect Martin is coincidentally the same person who can, will, and reeeeeally wants to Kill Jonah.

“King of a ruined world and I shall never die” my ass. King? Really? You were a placeholder, my dude. The Eye didn’t give a fuck that you were at the top of the panopticon and it didn’t give a fuck when John pulled you out of it. You said it yourself, dipshit. You might have started the archives, but John IS the archives. He is the only person more powerful than Jonah and Jonah, of all people, should know this. Especially considering you could presumably see John cutting through the domains, dishing out biblical vengeance, on a warpath for your tower.

So of course, he decides to antagonize John even more if that is even possible by telling him they both know he can’t do it.

And John fucking punches him and it’s great. Extended sounds of brutal ass whooping, please and thank you.

And then we get one of two lines that sums up Jonah Magnus for me.

“P-please John, I don’t want to die”.

This guy. Who dedicated his several lives to ruling the world and feeding on everyone else’s pain. Who has committed atrocities that numerous to count and too horrible to name. Who is being confronted by the direct target of his machinations and who, I think it’s safe to say, hates him more than anyone or anything else in existence. Has the absolute fucking nerve to go “but I’m scared :(”

When he went ‘I don’t want to die’ I actually said to literally no one because I was alone in my room “HA, Fuck you.”

John puts it a bit more eloquently. “Neither did they”. Beautiful. And then he’s gutted like the repulsive little fish he is.

The second line that sums up this insufferable megalomaniac is a little earlier. It’s casual, neither of them makes a point of it. Maybe because it’s a little redundant. “Empathy only holds you back in the end”.

I don’t want to die, and Empathy only holds you back in the end.

I mean, that’s the thesis statement of the shit-eating essay that is Jonah Magnus.

He’s so far beyond regret, or anything that isn’t 100% self-motivated he cannot perceive that perhaps John will have maybe, I don’t know, changed a bit. Gotten used to horror. Killed. He cannot fathom anything outside the tower as more than a food source. He is so used to seeing people as pawns he dies not actually understanding why John killed him. “Good luck” are his last lines.

First of all, the direction is ‘wetly’ and on the one hand I know what that means, but on the other, I cannot think of a more fitting adjective to end on with this guy.

Second of all, the ambiguity of how sincere he is or isn’t being is enraging, and so classic and I hate him, which is to say fucking excellent job of writing and acting both.

He goes to his grave thinking John’s making a power grab. He cannot conceive of any other reason for John doing what he’s doing. They’re opposite ends of the spectrum. One who can think of no one but himself, and one who will sacrifice himself because he’s thinking of everyone else. You know how matter can’t be created or destroyed? I think guilt might be the same way. And Jonah found a handy receptacle for all the guilt he doesn’t have time for and that receptacle is named Jonathan Sims head Archivist of The Magnus Institute.

What a good villain. What an infuriatingly mellifluous bitch. The thinks he’s King of the World, he thinks he’s going to get such special treatment, he thinks consequences apply to everyone but him, he thinks this is a game he can win when he doesn’t even know what the fuck he’s playing.

As much as he looked at John and went “perfect, an insecure idiot”, the Web looked at him and went “perfect, a pompous ass”. He wanted to live forever, but now he’s dead. And he doesn’t even get to live on in memory. No one knew he was up there. No one remembered Elias, let alone Jonah. You think Georgie, Melanie, Rosie, and Basira are going to tell the world about him? What would be the point?

Congratulations, Jonah. You tried to ensure your immortality and ended up ensuring that you died both literally and figuratively. Before it got yeeted into another dimension The End must have had a fucking Field Day the second his heart stopped beating.

What a bastard. What an unfathomable bastard. Like he really thought this would all work out for him, that he was the most Important Thing in the world when, at best, at best he was a glorified fucking contact lens.

Ass.

[supi-wupi]

Agents (pt 1.)

[pairing] Gojo Satoru x reader

[trope] Spies and Secret Agents

[a/n] next chapter will prob be all smut

[cw] mentions of sex, alot of swearing, mentions of blood and dead body, eventual smut (very small amount), first person

Fucking hell. What a way to start my weekend. This hotel room is annoyingly boring with white everywhere. What's even worse is the person im sharing the room with, Gojo fucking Satoru.

Hey I wouldn't call just anyone as self centred as me, but Gojo? He's a whole level of self centred. He can go on and on about himself for hours at a time if he wants, and he has. Listening to Gojo rant about his newest topic; his fucking sex life. Honestly, I feel like shooting a bullet in his head, and then mine, but that would cause a commotion.

“Its been really boring lately, with all these missions and stuff. I barely have time to let my sex frustrations out” Gojo blabbers as he swings his legs onto the bed, placing his arms behind his head and leaning to the headboard.

“Way to much fucking info Gojo, I don’t need to know shit about your sex life. Who the fuck rants about how they get no pussy to a co-worker?”

“Awe, but thats no fun now is it?” Gojo says as a smirk paints his face.

“Whatever, talk about anything else BUT your fucking sex life Okashi.“

“Fine then Kitsune, honestly a low blow when you call me by code name” He says… pouting?

“I literally have to call you by code name during missions, and right now? I think we are on a mission.” I shoot back with a glare before turning away and glancing at the tablet with all necessary info.

Kawata Yasushi

Male, 28 years old, has no family, works at a store in Tokyo, and most importantly, owes a fuck ton of money.

“We should get leaving, his shift ends in 10.” I say turning to Gojo, whos already getting up and grabbing his gear. I turn back to the tablet for one last checkover before turning it off and grabbing my own gear. The mental checklist in my mind ticking off items one by one as I scan items on my body and the messenger bag i carry at all times, carrying first aid equipment and the tablet.

“Let head out!” Gojo says as he grabs a soda from the mini fridge and chugging it as we head down the hallway, the destination an alleyway.

As we head out the building thought the back entrance, we slip on our face masks and fix up our disguises. My wig kinda itches but it should hold for a few hours anyway. My outfit is a casual baggy shirt with cargo pants, my messenger bag finishing off the natural look. Gojo looks kinda funky, his wig looks natural but it doesn’t suit him. His clothes consist of a button up shirt and long pants, it looks good on him, although I’d never say that out loud. 

The alleyway is the one our target goes to smoke after every shift he takes, honestly he might die from lung cancer before we even reach him at the fucking speed we are walking. Whatever, his smoke breaks are like 30 minutes consisting of smoking exactly 6 cigarettes each time. 

This mission is simple, I don’t know why theres two of us on this one. It’s just a hit and hide job, easy money. The plan tho? Its me baiting this fucker to let me join him for a smoke, and when hes distracted by me, Gojo has to slice his throat while placing a rag over his mouth. This is really the go to plan we have whenever we are assigned a hit and kill mission together. This should be over in around 30 minutes.

As we are at the last turn to the alley way, I motion Gojo to stop walking while I continue to walk, turning the corner into the alley. Bingo. As soon as I turn the corner, I spot him smoking in the corner, on his second cig. I stride on over to him, ensuring to act as drunk as possible. Once I reach a reasonable distance from him, I stare at him for a while. He looks so confused, but after a few seconds he looks me over.

“Mind if i smoke with you as I sober up?” I say in my most promising drunk voice.

“Uh, yeah no worries.” He replies as he pulls out a box of cigarettes and motions it towards me. I grab one out and he pushes the box back into his jacket and pulling out a lighter as replacement. As he lights my cigarette for me, Gojo silently come up behind him and covers his mouth with a rag, pushing the cig he just had between his lips down his throat. The knife comes next as his body slowly becomes unconscious, slitting his throat enough to puncture the artery. I produce another rag from my bag to place over the cut so blood doesn’t go everywhere or anywhere as evidence.

“Your cleaning up this time, Okashi.” I say quickly before he drags me in duties I hate doing.

“Whatever, why can’t i just dump it in that trash bin right there?”

“Because thats the most obvious place police will look at?”

“Blah blah blah”

—

As soon as we got back to the hotel room I can say I collapsed into the bed. Wait a fucking second. Theres only one fucking bed. Fuck me. Fucking hell!

“Hey get off the bed, your dirty!” Gojo shouted at me before heading to the bathroom, probably to shower. I groan I sit up, and go to sit on the chair at the desk. 

“You better not take long you fuck!” I shout back at him, sinking into the chair.

Around 2 minutes later, I swear to fuck I hear moaning and groaning from the bathroom. What the fuck? Why does he… sound kinda hot. Wait what am I thinking, I can’t possibly; another moan goes through the door, and straight to my pussy. Oh. my. fucking. god. After sitting there for another minute of Gojo’s hot moaning, I don’t think I can help the way I slide my pants off to desperately rub my clit for any simulation.

I don’t think I heard the shower getting turned off and the door opening because I am way to fucking close to my orgasm to stop myself.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” I hear Gojo cooing.

Fuck.

I will make another part on this soon ;p

[dearmailman]

hii i love you blog and i was wondering if could you do some headcanons or a fic about julie and frank taking care of a little reader who gets easily overstimulated together? TYYYYY

Hello neighbor! I hope you enjoy this short fic, your neighbors are always there to comfort you.

It’s your birthday, and you should be having fun. The entire neighborhood is over, and there’s been nonstop music and fun for hours! For better or worse, considering where you are now.

You’ve hidden under a table in the hallway, all the way across the home from the living room where everyone is wafting sounds of happiness your way. You wipe your face and try not to cry. It’s your birthday! You should be in there too! But as much as you love your neighbors, they can get very noisy and rambunctious. You can feel yourself regressing slightly already because of how overstimulating the party is. You’re overwhelmed, to be frank.

Speaking of being frank, you hear the distinct sounds of dress shoes on the wood floor and quite a bit of grumpy grumbling moving towards you.

“I’ve told them to quiet down four times, Julie! Four!”

“Aw, Frank come on, it’s a party! They can have a good time!”

“Julie, if I’m overwhelmed, then I just know Reader is too. I can’t- can’t find them though! Ah, I’m such a putz.”

You scoot toward the table cloth hiding you as you hear Frank’s overstimulation also boil over - his arm waving is practically audible. You reach for the cloth, only to flinch back as a loud thud sounds, and Barnaby and Howdy both begin laughing heartily in the distance.

“Frank, it’ll be alright, I’m sure they’re not in any trouble,” Julie soothes, joyful voice calm and even for Frank’s sake. “Would they have gone to their bedroom, maybe?”

“No, no they usually go somewhere small and close quarters when they get overwhelmed.”

You peek just an eye out from under the tablecloth, staring at them. Frank looks very miffed, tapping his shoe and staring at the ground very hard, like it will tell him where you are if he’s intimidating enough. You only think on it for a moment before swallowing the lump in your throat and calling out to them.

“Frank, Julie,” it comes out a stage whisper, but they both whip around, moving in unison like only twins or best friends can do. They spot you though, and come rushing over, crouching down to look at you.

“Reader, I have your earplugs if you need them, and your… you know,” he seems slightly embarrassed, but he hands you your ear plugs and your pacifier, even with Julie watching. He sits and scoots towards you, face worried. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine…” You start what would have been a great lie, probably, but instead your voice breaks and you feel yourself tear up slightly. Frank pulls you out from under the table and into a hug almost instantly. Julie joins in, of course, petting at your hair softly.

“There, there - poor Reader. Snap, I’m sorry everything got so crazy, you know everybody gets so loud when we have fun.” Julie frowns sympathetically. “Do I need to kick them out of your pad?”

You shake your head, hidden against Frank’s sweater.

“Do me a solid and go tell them to quiet down at least,” Franks sighs exasperatedly.

“‘Kay!” Julie skips off to the living room and Frank turns back to you.

“You can use your binkie if you need it, friend. You know I’m always okay taking care of you.”

Frank - and sometimes Eddie too - have been your caretakers for a few months now, and they know you tend to go small when stress arises. Your posture slumps slightly, letting some of the weight go as the other room quiets to normal chatting. Frank helps you put your pacifier in and rubs a friendly hand on your back to comfort you.

“They really were wigging out!” Julie calls as she meets you two back in the hall. “Barnaby says ‘sorry about your flower vase.’” Julie glances curiously at your pacifier, humming. “What are you up to, neighbors?”

“Ah, it’s a comfort thing I’ve been helping them with. I do hope you don’t find it… weird.”

Julie laughs. “Weird? Well if anything I’m jealous! When do I get to cuddle up to my best friend and play baby,” she teases. Frank rolls his eyes at her, but you can see his smile. You giggle quietly and set your hand on Julie’s shoulder.

Julie smiles brightly, and plops herself into the cuddle pile, wrapping her arms around both you and Frank. “Big or baby, we’re all always here to comfort you Reader.”

“Even when it gets overwhelming, you know I always carry ear plugs and toys for you, so never be afraid to ask to be small.”

“Hey, sunshine, don’t you have a TV in your bedroom?” Julie smiles.

You nod to her, expression lightening by the second.

“Good idea, Julie. Let’s go watch cartoons. In the quiet. I’m sure those goofs will realize the party’s over eventually.”

“Far out,” Julie laughs, and the two help you upstairs for a cuddle session.

You get so lost in cartoons and comfort that you hardly notice the quieting of everyone heading home for the night. Julie decides, without prompt, that you three are officially having a sleep over, and you can’t help but giggle and go along.

sfw interaction only

[ridiasfangirlings]

fushimi going undercover for something minor and having to wear the most awful, most obvious wig with no glasses as a last resort and even though everyone else can immediately know who it is yata has no idea

(inspired by drew_talbert on tiktok creator of bistro huddy<3 )

Yata being like huh who is this strange man and it takes every ounce of Fushimi’s self control not to blow his cover and berate Yata for being an idiot. Imagine Fushimi has to go undercover to like spy on this Strain who always has business meetings at a fancy restaurant. This is intended to be an intelligence mission, not combat, Fushimi will bug the attendees of the meeting and then sit at his table and listen in. Of course since he’s a known member of S4 he needs to be undercover for this, unfortunately S4 happens to be a little low on disguises (Fushimi ruined all the dresses after the last mission) so the best they can manage is the absolute worst blond wig in existence and some ugly color contacts that are vaguely close to his prescription, along with like a very conspicuous trench coat. Imagine Fushimi looking at himself in the mirror after being dressed up, looking like he has a dead cat on his head, and being like this is the stupidest thing you idiots have ever asked me to do. 

He’s sent to infiltrate the restaurant and imagine on his way in he sees Doumyouji, who was running an errand in the same area, and who’s immediately like oh hi Fushimi-san even though he was told nothing at all about this mission. Fushimi irritably shushes him and Doumyouji wonders why the wig, like oh did you want to try coloring your hair. Fushimi grumbles that he’s undercover and is like not one word about the wig, Doumyouji senses murder in the air and is like right yes sir. Fushimi gets into the restaurant, getting very weird looks from a confused front of the house guy as he’s led to his table, and manages to get the bug in place as well. He settles down to listen in when a waiter shows up and asks him what he’d like to drink.

Fushimi looks up and finds himself face to face with Yata, who’s working part time as a waiter at the restaurant. Normally this would be a good thing for Fushimi but he has work to do so he scowls and is like don’t you say a word, Yata’s like uh excuse me sir because he just asked if the guy wanted drinks. Fushimi gives him a flat look like you’re going to ruin everything you idiot and Yata’s like hey don’t call me an idiot before quickly shutting his mouth and coughing all uh I mean don’t call me an idiot ‘sir,’ I’m just a waiter. Fushimi looks at him blankly like you….really don’t know who I am and Yata’s like wait are you a celebrity. Fushimi internally facepalms and orders a water.

Fushimi tries to continue the mission and imagine him so torn between completing his mission properly and trying to get Yata to realize who he is. Like he knows it’s best for his mission that Misaki is an idiot but also how dare Misaki not know it’s him, Fushimi’s a traitor and Yata should be thinking of him all the time and hating him and recognizing him in stupid costumes. Imagine he keeps doing things that should tip Yata off to his identity, like after he finishes his water he starts ordering meat dishes plain with no sauce or dishes with lots of vegetables and demanding all the veggies taken out, he orders some milk and drinks the entire glass while Yata is just standing there staring. Eventually I imagine as soon as his target finishes their meeting and leaves Fushimi gives this heavy sigh and immediately orders another dish all ‘and be quick this time, Misaki.’ Yata’s all wait how do you know my name and then suddenly he finally figures it out and is like ‘Saruhiko!’. Fushimi throws off the wig with a wide grin and goads Yata into going outside for a fight, Yata can’t believe that Fushimi stalked him here in disguise and Fushimi’s like it’s your fault for being so stupid you couldn’t figure it out. (Later he returns to the office with his wig destroyed, contacts missing and clothes all messed up and everyone’s wondering how he managed to get so roughed up on a non-combat mission.)

[jgroffdaily]

Willkommen and bienvenue to another round of anonymous Tony voters debating the merits of this year’s nominations, with Stereophonic and Hell’s Kitchen leading the marquees with 13 nominations each. Despite all the mothers, rock-and-roll doyens, and Waystar Royco employees trying to lure us to the Theater District, our two veteran Tony voters aren’t overly enthralled by the season. They think it’s one of the strongest years for plays in recent memory. But for musicals? Eh, maybe some shouldn’t have made the transfer from across the pond. And while Stereophonic and Merrily We Roll Along are destined for further greatness, the voters don’t think being a Hollywood star guarantees an acting trophy. Ahead of the June 16 ceremony at Lincoln Center, they weighed in on where they stand and why.

Best Performance by a Leading Actor in a Musical

Brody Grant — The Outsiders Jonathan Groff — Merrily We Roll Along Dorian Harewood — The Notebook Brian d’Arcy James — Days of Wine and Roses Eddie Redmayne — Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club

Voter 1: There are three exceptional performances in this category. Brody and Brian are extraordinary, but my vote is going to Jonathan. His performance is the best of the year in any category, actually. He manages to make, on paper, a character who might be very unlikable and turn him into a complex human being who makes some pretty awful choices, and yet we understand the humanity behind those choices. It’s a staggering achievement.

Voter 2: My winner is Jonathan. That character is a total jerk the way it’s written, but he makes him completely sympathetic and it’s a beautiful performance. But I do want to say it’s an interesting list of names. I would’ve put money on Brian because that was an amazing performance. I probably would’ve predicted Eddie, even though it was a very divisive performance. I thought it was very stylized. I thought, Okay, you know what? That’s a choice. He was just sort of there for me, but I suspected he would get nominated because it’s one of “those” roles. Brody is saddled with two of the worst wigs on Broadway — he overcame them. The one glaring omission here is the star of Tommy, Ali Louis Bourzgui. That kid is a star. He’s so magnetic. I was enraptured from start to finish and I don’t understand why he’s not included.

Best Revival of a Musical

Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club Gutenberg! The Musical Merrily We Roll Along The Who’s Tommy

Voter 1: Merrily, Merrily, Merrily. I do think it’s disappointing that the one specifically BIPOC musical, The Wiz, was excluded. I’ll say that. I’m disappointed that it was snubbed. But for me, it’s Merrily in a walk. I really liked it downtown and I fucking loved it uptown.

Voter 2: Merrily. It’s always been my favorite. I know it’s the Stephen Sondheim black sheep show, but this is the best production I’ve ever seen and I think it’s the best production you will ever see. It finally works. There’s a lot of good you can say about these four shows, but Merrily is without question the one for me.

Best Performance by a Featured Actor in a Musical

Roger Bart — Back to the Future Joshua Boone — The Outsiders Brandon Victor Dixon — Hell’s Kitchen Sky Lakota-Lynch — The Outsiders Daniel Radcliffe — Merrily We Roll Along Steven Skybell — Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club

Voter 1: This is another great category. I loved Steven and really loved Brandon. I thought both of the guys from The Outsiders were wonderful, but I’m all about Daniel. His delivery of “Franklin Shepard, Inc.” is award-worthy just for that song. Watching him grow as a stage actor has been a privilege. He’s one of the biggest stars in the world and he keeps coming back to the stage. In this production, he just takes it all to another level. It’s spectacular.

Voter 2: I’ll end up going with Daniel, but Steven, oh my God. I’m thinking about his performance and I’m almost crying again. Ron Rifkin won for that role in the last Cabaret revival. It’s definitely one of those roles that gets you noticed. But Tony nominators have had a habit of ignoring Daniel, so I was so happy they nominated him. He’s a fantastic stage actor. This isn’t a brag, but I’ve seen everything he’s done in New York on and off Broadway, and he gets better every time. His “Franklin Shepard, Inc.”? He’s singing the 11 o’clock number at 8:30. Come on. That’s a pretty tall order. Oh, I totally forgot about Back to the Future. I’m surprised Roger got in there.

Best Performance by a Featured Actress in a Musical

Shoshana Bean — Hell’s Kitchen Amber Iman — Lempicka Nikki M. James — Suffs Leslie Rodriguez Kritzer — Monty Python’s Spamalot Kecia Lewis — Hell’s Kitchen Lindsay Mendez — Merrily We Roll Along Bebe Neuwirth — Cabaret at the Kit Kat Club

Voter 1: You won’t be surprised given all my Merrily love, but it’s Lindsay. She recently got married — Jonathan was the officiant and Daniel was the ring bearer. That’s how close they’ve become as friends, and that chemistry and love they have for one another is so evident onstage. Lindsay is really funny and sour; she oozes sarcasm, and yet she allows us to see the pain behind all the armor. In the final Merrily scene, we witness her innocence and her hopefulness in a way that I don’t think anyone sees coming. It’s acting at the highest level.

Voter 2: Even though I love Merrily and Lindsay here, I’m inclined to vote for Kecia for Hell’s Kitchen. I didn’t love the show, but she was one of the reasons I liked it. Oh my gosh, her voice. She anchors the show in a lot of ways. She’s also one of those actors who’s always been around and doing fantastic work. She made her Broadway debut at age 18 in Dreamgirls, playing Effie. This show is just another reminder of her talents. It’s not like we should give Tonys for longevity or lifetime achievement, but I feel like this is just another reminder of, Yes, Kecia is fantastic. That might put me over the top for her.

[awakefor48hours]

Aren't you a fan of Belos yourself? Or is liking him/ enjoying his character different from being a fan? Do you not like how others like him?

You know anon, you bring up a good question and because this is something I actually think about a lot, I’m gonna make this a proper post.

The quick answer to this is no. I’m not a fan of Belos like other people. I don’t call him a cringy old gay he/they man, I call him a fascist colonizer and that makes (certain) Belos fans mad for some reason.

Now onto the longer explanation.

As of late (if I had to guess, I’d say the past 6ish years), I feel like there’s been a HUGE change in how fandoms interact with characters who are just bad. I couldn’t put my finger on it until recently when I started stalking the My Hero fandom (yep, bringing My Hero into this but bare with me).

I’m not as involved in the My Hero fandom anymore, I’m so behind on the show and haven’t been in the fandom in years so I don’t know if things have changed but back when I used to live in the My Hero fandom, there were so many Bakugou fans would say that the real reason why he was angry all the time is that he actually had an anxiety disorder and lived in an abusive household. This caused him to be mean to people, especially mean Deku.

That is not true in the slightest.

Bakugou is just a teenage boy with the powers of destruction at his fingertips, that’s it. I’d say that if given the ability to make explosions like Bakugou, a solid 70% of my old high school classmates would be just as bad, if not worse, than Bakugou because teenage boy are awful.

He doesn’t have an abusive household, his mom isn’t toxic, once again, Bakugou is just a teenage boy and teenage boys are just the worst. (No offense to any teenage boys reading this. It’s not you it’s the fact that you have a very underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that’s responsible for making decisions, and live in a society that actively encourages boys and men to be violent).

Now, why am I bringing up a completely different character from a completely different show into this? It’s because I feel what’s happening in fandoms is that people don’t want to accept and/or admit that they like morally bad characters. The need to find a way to weave a victim complex into a character’s narrative as a way to find the deeper meaning to their shitty behavior is getting to be pretty popular and I don’t like it.

I’ve seen people defend Belos because “he’s actually just battling internalized homophobia” and I hate this because not only does The Owl House demonize this exact type of behavior (and it’s demonized in the scene that Belos is killed) but it’s not an actual excuse to be a bad person. It just feels like the people who say“I can’t be homophobic, I’m a lesbian” wearing a wig. Additionally, Belos being anything but a cishet, white man defeats the purpose of his character. He’s the Christopher Columbus of the show.

If you like bad characters, just say it. Stop hiding a behind the excuse that they’re actually good but we don’t get to see it because they’re traumatized or battling some internalized homophobia, especially when it’s not even canon. It reflects poorly on your understanding of how the characters are written and how mental health works.

[love2write2626]

The Producer This story is from my one-shot collection which is a spin off of the “I Wouldn’t be Complete Without You” 4 part series, you can find that series along with the one shots, and all my other TC stories on my Masterlist hope you enjoy

Y/N’s P.O.V

I walked around set looking for Tom, since he is a producer now they always have him all over set discussing things and sometimes he can be very hard to track down. As I was walking I bumped into someone and dropped my phone, and binder

“Oh, shit I’m so sorry” the man said

“No, it’s ok I’m a klutz by nature it was probably my fault” I said, as I picked up my stuff and stood up I made eye contact with the man, and was in awe at how good looking he is.

“Hey, you’re Tom’s assistant right?” It took me a minute to gather words… so pathetic

“Um, yes. Sorry I have a million things on my mind. Yes I am Tom’s assistant, My name is Y/N”

“Nice to meet you Y/N, my name is Chris Hall”

“Oh! Mr. Hall” I said. Chris isn’t a producer on the film but he works for the production company. The company is giving a huge amount of money towards this film. “I’ve heard Tom talk about you…”

“Yes, I work for the division of the company which deals with statistics and all that boring stuff” he said with a chuckle

“Well, I wouldn’t say boring. I mean you help the big wigs decide if a movie is worth producing” he stared at each other for a few seconds and then his phone rang

“Oh, sorry. I have to take this. It was very nice meeting you Y/N” he said walking off

“Well, well do my eyes deceive me… or did Y/N meet a man she likes” Katie said walking over to me with a bright smile

“Katie, don’t start” I said

“Y/N, you are a funny, smart, beautiful woman who deserves to be an a loving relationship. He is a good-looking guy” she said “I think he likes you”

“How can he like me, Katie? We just met two minutes ago” I sighed “plus I’m way to busy to date anyone”

“No, no that’s not true, and you know it! You should ask him out” she said

“What?!” Absolutely not!” I exclaimed

“Hey ladies” I heard Tom’s voice, he walked over and kissed Katie “What are you talking about… and why is Y/N as red as a tomato?”

“She likes Chris” Katie said with a smirk

“I do not! I haven’t even said more than two sentences to the guy” I said “Look, Katie I appreciate you trying to help me… but I just I’m not interested… not right now anyway” I looked over at Tom “C’mon I have to talk to you about a million things” I said pulling him away

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A few hours later, I am sitting in my room taking my shoes off when my door swings open. Katie walks in, and closes it quickly and practically throws a box at me.

“Katie, what the hell?”

“Get, showered and put that on! You’re going on a date with Chris tonight”

“What!?” I asked

“Before you accuse me of setting you up… he came over and talked to me. Asked if you were seeing anyone.”

“Katie” I sighed

“Y/N, you are always there to help everyone else. It’s your turn to go and have fun. Chris likes you… and maybe I shouldn’t have done the whole blind date thing… but you wouldn’t have gone for it if I didn’t”

“I know you’re trying to help”

“Y/N, you are my friend! You are completely over worked go out with him! What’s the worse that happens? You don’t like him, and don’t go another date?”

“Usually your logic would make sense… but he is still going to be on set everyday, if I don’t like him it will be super weird”

“It’s only weird if you make It weird” she said “Please, go and have fun”

“He is really good looking” she smiled brightly

“That’s it girl, get ready” she said running out of the room.

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I walked into the restaurant looking for Chris and I found him quickly, he was looking at the menu, and drinking some wine. He looked up and when we locked eyes he looked at me like nothing else existed.

“Hey” He said when I walked over, he got up and pulled my chair out for me before pushing me back in

“Hi, thank you” I said

“You look beautiful” he said, I know I’m blushing like an idiot

“Thank you. You look very handsome” I said

“Oh, I ordered some wine… I hope you like red”

“Red is my favorite” I said taking a sip “I’ve never been here before”

“Really? You’re going to love it. I like to come here often… and well most of the time it’s take out I’m always too busy to sit down and eat.” He smirked “but I had to make time for you”

“Ok, you really have to stop. I haven’t even been here 10 minutes and I’ve blushed way too many times” I giggled

“I can’t help it. I think you’re beautiful… and if we’re being honest… I may have bumped into you on purpose” I looked at him confused “This going to sound creepy… but its in a non-creepy way… I’ve been watching you” I raised an eyebrow “I said it was going to sound creepy… but I thought you were absolutely beautiful the moment I saw you” I tried to hide my blush and looked at the menu

“So Chris what’s good here?” I asked

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“You were right the food was amazing” I said giggling

“Not, as amazing as the company” he said

“Yeah, I have to admit your company was pretty great too” I said “This is me” I said when we walked over to my car

“Good enough for a second date?” he asked

“Yeah, I think I would like that” I said, he smiled brightly and I stood on my tippy toes to give him a hug and when we pulled apart we stared at each other

“I really want to kiss you” he mumbled, I decided to be bold for once

“What’s stopping you?” I asked, he smiled and leaned down for a kiss. The kiss is really nice… that’s a lie it was better than nice. This man really knows what he is doing. When we broke apart I said “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow” he said

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When I walked inside the house I was bombarded by Katie and Tom

“Why are you both still awake?” I asked

“Mr. Grumpy pants here refused to sleep until you got back… and well I had to know how I went” she asked

“It went great” I said, she smiled brightly

“Really?” she asked

“Yeah, we kissed”

“He, kissed you?” Tom asked shocked

“Yeah”

“That’s ridiculous you went out on one date… hell you only spoke for the first time today! He’s kissing you?”

“Zip it” Katie said “How was it?”

“Really good” she walked over and hugged me

“Thank you Katie”

“I’m so excited… now I am exhausted and going to bed” she said turning around and I couldn’t help but laugh. I looked over at Tom

“Are you mad?” I asked, his eyes softened

“Of course not. I just worry about you. I don’t want anyone to hurt you ever” I walked over and hugged him

“I know you won’t let anyone hurt me Tommy” I said and he groaned

“I hope you know, you’re the only one who gets away with calling me that” I rolled my eyes

“Good night” I said

“Night” he mumbled

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One date turned to two which quickly turned to 5 and then I lost count. Chris is an amazing guy, super smart, funny, and handsome. We were always together on set, and I could tell it was irritating Tom

“Y/N, I hate to be an asshole…”

“No you don’t” I giggled

“But you are here as my assistant you talk to your boyfriend later” I sighed knowing he is right

“See you later Chris” I said

“My place tonight?” he asked

“I’ll be there” I said

“So you guys are getting serious?” Tom asked

“I wouldn’t say serious yet… but I think its headed in that direction” I said biting my lip

“Look, I know you’re tired of hearing me say be careful… but be careful. There’s something about him that seems a little off” I rolled my eyes “Promise me, you’ll be careful… and if he treats you with the slightest disrespect you’ll drop him on his ass” I giggled

“Ok, Tom” I leaned up and kissed his cheek “Oh shit, I forgot to as Chris what to bring for dinner tonight… I’ll be right back” I ran back over and I saw Chris was already looking at me “Hey…”

“You kiss him?” he asked, I looked at him confused

“I always kiss him on the cheek, and he kisses me on the cheek. We’ve been doing that for years. I told you we’ve known each other since High School”

“His wife doesn’t mind?” he asked

“No, because she knows theres nothing going on between us”

“Interesting” he mumbled, and I smiled brightly

“Are you jealous?” I asked

“Maybe…” I leaned up and kissed his lips

“You have no reason to be, there never has been and never will be anything between Tom and I”

“Ok” he smiled

“What do you want me to bring tonight?” I asked

“Just your gorgeous self, and I’m going to make dinner for you”

“Ok, see you tonight”

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Even though he told me not to bring anything, I still bought some cookies… just because I felt weird coming over empty handed. I headed towards the elevators, and saw the doors about to close so I ran

“Wait hold the door” I said, I made it just before it closed and part of me wished I hadn’t. In the elevator I saw Chris making out with some blonde “I guess I got here too early, huh?” I said throwing the cookies in the trash can next to the elevators and started walking away

“Y/N, Wait!” he yelled as I walked out of the building. Fuck, I feel like such an idiot. “Y/N wait a damn second”

“What?” I asked angrily

“Look, I didn’t kiss her she kissed me… she’s my ex and she wanted to get back together but I told her I was seeing someone”

“You really seemed to want her to stop” I said angrily

“You’re being such a hypocritical”

“What?”

“You’re allowed to kiss Tom but I can’t…”

“Woah slow your roll. I kiss Tom on the cheek. I don’t make out with him” I sighed “look, I was blinded by how good looking you are. You’re just like every other guy… and I’m glad it didn’t get too serious… because I can’t stand getting my heart broken” I started to walk away but he grabbed me and tugged me hard

“You get back here”

“Ow, Chris you’re hurting me”

“You are a hot piece of ass, and dating you means I have Tom in my back pocket. Tom would do anything for you” I wanted to cry

“So that’s why you asked me out?” I tried to tug away, but then he slapped me across the face and I gasped in shock

“You asshole. I’m leaving”

“No, you’re not! You are not allowed to leave this relationship till I say it’s over”

“You can’t force me to stay with you” I said

“Oh, yes I can. If you break it off, or tell anyone I hit you I’ll have the production company pull their funds”

“That’s an empty threat, you cant make the CEO just pull funds. You have no controlling interest” he smirked

“Oh, but I do, I’m the one they go to every month to make sure this is still a good project to be apart of.” I went wide eyed “Yeah, you know I’m right” he said, he let go of me. “Go, back to his house for the night, and don’t say a damn word” he said walking away

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When I got home, I walked in slouching a little

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Tom asked

“Nothing… Chis and I got into a small argument and I just… I’m tired I’m going to bed” I mumbled

“Are you sure you’re ok” he asked

“Tom thank you for worrying about me… but I promise I’m fine”

“Ok, sweetie. Good night” I feel horrible lying to him, I know all he wants to do is protect me

“Good night”

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5 months it’s been 5 months since I started dating Chris, and 5 months since I lost every ounce of happiness in me. Chris has taken all of it. I have to constantly hide bruises, with makeup so Katie and Tom don’t suspect anything. Chris is treating me like a rag doll, I refuse to have sex with him and when I do he hits me harder… but surprisingly never forces me to have sex

I walk into his apartment after a very long day on set, and he’s sitting on the couch watching some TV

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“On, set. You know that Tom works much longer hours than you do and…” he walked over and smacked me across the face

“Watch you’re tone with me” I looked at the ground

“Sorry” he smirked

“That’s better now… what do you say we go to the bedroom and”

“No!”

“I told you I’m not ready” he smacked me again “I’m not stupid I know you’ve been having sex with your ex… just go date her and leave me alone” he grabbed me and yanked into the bedroom, throwing me on the bed. As he tried to crawl on me I kicked him hard and tried to run away but he grabbed my leg causing me to trip

“You thought you were so smart, huh” he picked me up like a rag doll and then punched me square in the eye, I screamed in pain

“That hurt, huh?” he said with a smirk, the sick bastard is enjoying this

“Next time you say no to me remember that” he said before walking away

It took me 10 minutes to find the strength to walk again, and I walked over to the mirror and gasped, my lip has a nasty gash in it and there is already a bruise forming around my eye. Fuck how am I going to hide this.

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The next morning I stayed in bed. I knew there was no way in hiding this forever… but I can delay it.

“Y/N?” Tom said walking in I quickly pulled the covers over my head “Hey, sleepy head are you feeling ok?” I wanted to throw myself in his arms and tell him everything. I can’t this movie is too big… I can’t ruin it for him. I let out a fake cough

“I’m sick” I said

“Do you have a fever?” he tried to touch my head

“Yes” I said quickly “If it’s ok with you… I’m going to stay home today” I mumbled

“Of course sweetie… if you ever need a break just let me know… I’m sorry if I overworked you”

“No, no Tommy” I said trying not to cry “Never, I just have a cold that’s all… I’ll be as good as new tomorrow”

“Ok, sweetie you get some rest” he said before walking out

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Not even 10 minutes later there was a knock on my door, and I heard Katie walk in

“Hey, Y/N? How are you feeling?” she asked

“Sick” I lied quickly, she sighed

“Tom, knows you’re lying. We’re actors we know a fake cough when we hear it… He sent me to check on you. I’ve been delaying it… but he’s noticing something has changed about. You’re not as happy anymore…”

“What am I supposed to do Katie? Show him this?” I asked sitting up and she gasped

“Y/N, what happened?” she asked “did Chris do this” I didn’t say anything “How long?” she asked

“Not even a few weeks after we started dating”

“Why, the fuck didn’t you leave him?” She asked

“He threatened to make sure that…”

“Hey, Y/N I know you’re not feeling well but do you know where my…” Tom walked in and when he made eye contact with me I saw pure rage enter his face “What happened?” he asked “Did that bastard hurt you?” I again said nothing “That, fucker.” Tom stormed out of the room and I quickly followed

“Tom… please don’t do something stupid”

“I’m firing that bastard ASAP”

“Tom, you can’t he told me if I told you he would make sure that he gave fake statistics to the board so they would pull their funds from the movie”

“Is that why you stayed with him?” he asked, I didn’t say anything I just started crying and slid down the wall I was leaning against

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” I said, Tom got on his knees in front of me and pulled me gently into his arms

“This is not your fault, he is a bastard and he is going to pay for this”

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Tom’s P.O.V

Pure rage is running through my veins, but at the current moment the only thing I feel is stupidity. I knew there was something wrong with her, the light in her eyes had faded but Y/N made me believe she was happy… and that’s all I wanted for her. I kissed the top of her head a couple of times. I looked up at Katie who has tears in her eyes

“Will you take her upstairs and see if she can get some sleep?” Katie nodded

“C’mon honey” Katie said helping her up

“Tom please be careful” she mumbled, before letting Katie walk her upstairs.

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It didn’t take long to get to the production company, I stormed in walking past security and straight into the CEO’s office. Not caring if he was in a meeting or not. He is on the phone and he looks up at me shocked

“Mr. Cruise?” he asked confused

“We need to talk now!” I said

“Of course, come in” he walked over and closed the door “What seems to be the…”

“You need to fire Chris Hall right now” I said, and he chuckled

“He’s one of our best employees I can’t fire him without cause” I pulled my phone and out and showed him the pictures I had Katie send me of Y/N

“He is a women beater”

“You’re sure he did this?” he asked

“He has been dating my assistant for the last 5 months… I have known Y/N for a very, very long time. I knew that something had changed, but I didn’t know what, and this morning I see this… he has been beating her and the reason she said nothing was because he threatened to show you and the board fake statistics so you would pull funds from my movie” He looked horrified

“Holly, call Mr. Hall into my office right now” he said on the speaker “Tom, I have to apologize I had no idea…”

“I’m not blaming you… and please don’t blame me for what happens when that bastard walks into this office”

“I want you to know we see so much potential in this film even without his statistics… we would have never pulled funds” I sighed if only Y/N had known that

“Hey, you wanted to see me?” Chris said when he walked in, I turned around and gave him a fake smile

“Actually it’s me who wanted to see you” I said walking over to him

“What can I do for you…” he asked

“I just wanted to give you something”

“What?” he asked confused

“Nothing much just this” I said before punching square in the face

“WHAT THE FUCK?” he asked

“How do you like it, you fucker. I should do so much worse… you are a sick bastard and I hope you rot in hell for what you did to Y/N”

“I didn’t…”

“Save it! I showed him the proof already and I told him everything…”

“That fucking bitch” he said, and I lost my cool again, and punched him square in the nose “You bastard I’m going sue you for everything you own”

“I’d like to see you try” I said

“I have a witness, and camara’s int his office show you attacking me”

“Mr. Hall, I know 3 things in this moment” The CEO said “One I have 3 daughters and the thought of anybody doing this to them is sickening… so you could say I saw nothing. Two wouldn’t you know it… it’s a shame the camara’s aren’t in service right now… and three You’re fired”

“You’re going to regret this Cruise” he said before walking out

“Thank you” I said to the CEO before I also walked out

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When I walked inside I saw Y/N sitting on the couch watching TV, I walked over and sat next to her and let her snuggle into me

“I’m sorry” she mumbled

“You have nothing to apologize for”

“I should have told you… I just know how important this project is”

“Y/N, look at me. If you had told me, I would have dealt with it… and if they had pulled their funds I would use every dollar of my own money to keep the movie afloat… you should know I would rather go broke then let anything ever happen to you” she smiled, but still had tears in her eyes

“So you got him fired?” she asked

“After I punched him in the eye and broke his nose” she giggled “I also made sure he will never get another job again” she snuggled back into me

“Thank you for protecting me” she mumbled

“Always, I’ll always be here to protect you” it didn’t take long for her to fall asleep, I picked her up and took her upstairs to her room, gently put her under the covers and kissed her head. “I love you, always have and always will” I said before walking out wishing I could say that to her when she is awake… but that will never happen.

[samandmaxfreelancesimps]

Nightmares…at NIGHT:

Requested by: No one

Story Type: Headcanons

Reader’s Pronouns: None used

Relationship Status: Dating

Warnings: Sad, but fluffy

When you have a nightmare:

If you guys actually make it to the bed instead of crashing on the couch, Sam tends to sleep with you in one arm and Max in the other.

So he KNOWS whenever there’s a problem going on.

Once your body starts shaking and you start whimpering, Sam immediately wakes up.

He’ll be tired, but he does his best to address what’s going on.

After he wakes himself up, Sam instantly starts comforting you.

“Y/N…you’re ok. It’s ok. Whatever you’re dreaming about is as fake as the wig on Granny’s head.”

If you’re not awake and still shaking, Sam will hum a little tune.

This is normally when Max wakes up.

Max takes a different approach…

Max will automatically know what’s going on since this wouldn’t be the first time.

So what does he do?

He shuffles past Sam and holds onto your face gently.

“Alright, N/N. It looks like you’re having one h*ll of a nightmare. You know what to do; let me talk to whatever is scaring you…”

Sam only watches as Max grins darkly “If you don’t leave Y/N alone, I’ll rip out your bones and throw your skin in the shedder.”

And if all else fails, Max will just smack you across the face.

Leaving you very jumpy and confused.

But in Max’s words “Better than being trapped in a nightmare”

Works every time :D

When Max has a nightmare:

You and Sam have never figured out what Max’s nightmares are like…

But no matter what they are, Max wakes up screaming

Remember how I said Sam knows when you and Max are having nightmares?

Well, Max makes sure the whole neighborhood knows when he’s suffering in the dream world.

The second Max feels any legit discomfort or fear-

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

Max always leaps into conciseness, jumping out of Sam’s arms and landing on his knees

For Max, you have to comfort him instantly.

There’s no time to figure out what’s going on.

You have to shut him up before you start getting (MORE) complaints.

Usually it’s Sam trying to comfort and you trying to shut him up calm him down.

“It’s ok, Little Pal! You’re back in the real world!” “AAAAAAH-THAT’S EVEN WORSE-AAAAAAAAAHHHH.”

You normally will just slap a pillow over his face and hold it there until he goes quiet.

“Remember…we don’t want to kill him.” “We don’t?”

It takes like 10 minutes for Max to stop scream.

Then he’s just a big baby who wants attention (which he always gets cuz he’s spoiled-)

When Sam has a nightmare:

It’s rare, but still happens.

Get ready for a sad sad dog man.

Sam’s shaking when he gets nightmares.

His nightmares are usually based around his insecurities

So you and Max always wake up to him whimpering and talking in his sleep

“N-no…don’t go. I can…lose the weight. M-Max…Y/N…don’t go….please.”

Meanwhile you and Max are just heartbroken

You’re instantly trying to comfort Sam.

While Max is just: I failed my husband… I F A I L E D H I M!

Sam wakes up a broken mess, he feels even worse when he sees that you and Max are awake

“Heh, morning…little pals. Did I wake you both up? Heh-sorry…don’t worry about me, you two. I’m as fine as a fat kid in a candy store-”

At that point, to both Sam’s and your surprise, Max hugged Sam tightly.

Max was affectionate, yes…but he preferred to slap people across the face or aggressively hug them too tight.

So the fact the he was softly hugging Sam was a little bit of a shocker.

Sam is more willing to be open about what his nightmares are

He just needs time to gather himself.

And he’ll never tell the full story. Don’t expect him to.

Afterwards, you and Max are all over the sad dog-man.

“Sam, we could never leave you. Have you seen what happens when you leave the two of us alone.” “We’ve killed people.” “We have.”

Yeah…Sam’s gonna have to have a talk with you two in the morning.

But right now, he’s to busy being smothered.

“Aw…you guys got me feeling as fuzzy as a bee that’s under the influence.”

You and Max basically compliment and cuddle Sam for the rest of the night.

Sad dog man is now happy dog man

After a few hours of that, you guys end up falling asleep again

A/N: Sorry it's been so long, life's been icky lately. I kinda fell out of the Sam and Max Fandom. I'm back now, but I'm mostly just posting all the stuff that's been in my drafts.

[stranger-rants]

Last night I had a wild ass dream where apart from being forced into killing 7 people out of self defense I also had to sit down and watch ST5 which literally sucked doodoo ass and the last fuckibg episode woulf come out a full year later. I had to sit there thinking “Oh my god this is literally ass how the fuck did they make this” and then some weird ass religious shit with Dustin started playing and I think Dustin was a blood messiah or whatever and my sister said “Awe shit last episode coming next year.” I remember thinking “The fuck do you mean I have to wait a full year for dogshit” and then turns out the real trial would not be the waiting but the 7 killers in one day and I DIGRESS

In the dream show Billy was back somehow and Munson too- I think he was already just casually starting off alive like don’t even worry about it. Anyways Billy was back but he wasn’t an antagonist or villain or anything thank god but he definitely was apeshit. He was running around the manor or strange-dream-mansion and laughing maniacally and causing bloodbaths and I think Steve was constantly having to save his ass from dying. Billy was like “Oh dear I almost passed away in my rampage” and then kept doing it. By the end the 3 of these motherfuckers were all so angry at each other and I really don’t remember what was going on with the other characters, I just remember Dustin strangely missing and these 3 having a lot of focus and being terribly written. It was like fucking Doom:Eternal these characters were constantly fighting and shit. I think after that I walked out of a school(?) (dormitory? Had a whole arc about realizing I didn’t have any of my showering gear mid-showering) (I didn’t get to wash off my body soap and just stood there uncomfortably for hours) But anyways I walked out the school and at some point I noticed that there was a tall man with a weird tan that clearly cutoff on where the sunglasses rested on his face and a terrible black wig and then the guy turned around to look at me and said “There aren’t enough black people causing shootings so the government hired me to up the percentage” and then the whole “Kill 7 assassins sent after you with their own guns” thing happened. Apologies for the rambling text I just woke up and remembered being pissed from the Stranger Things dream and not the whole “being thirteen and gradually having to take down an army” thing

[hornedadvance]

Horned Advance

Chapter 7 - Oasis

They’d finally made it; the oasis town, Muvazani. Relief washed over Palo, knowing that she wouldn’t die out in the expanse of the desert, at least not today. With the relief though, came the exhaustion that her adrenaline had been putting off. With a parched throat, hazy vision and shaky legs, Palo’s knees gave out mere steps from the front gate of Muvazani.

Palo gasped for air, her head pounding as she realised she’d passed out. She glanced around, taking a moment to get her bearings, only to find that she’d somehow made her way back to the forest that she’d spent so many years of her life in. She knew exactly where she was, she’d seen the set of trees around her a thousand times over… This was where she met Quinn. A mischievous little brat with a heart of gold, heading into the forbidden forest all on her own purely out of curiosity. Palo cut her reminiscing off quickly though, trying to grasp her situation. 

The girl looked down at her hands, to realise she wasn’t wearing the new leather garments she’d commissioned just days ago… And that her hands were much smaller than they were last time she checked. The girl felt confused for a moment, until a familiar voice called for her just across from her beneath the canopies. “Palo! Come on now… We have leftovers at my house. If you don’t hurry they’ll go cold!” Called a small Quinn. “Awright, I’m coming, Quinn” Responded Palo before she could even think. She made her way over to Quinn, careful not to disturb the complex fauna of the forest as she did, taking the girl’s hand as they started to walk.

“... -y… -ey……. hey……. HEY!” A sharp sound rang through Palo’s head as she opened her eyes to a blinding incandescent light overhead. “Hey… You back with us?” Said an unfamiliar face. A man with black messy hair, a gangly fellow in a long white coat. “We found you outsid’a town, face in the sand. Her too.” The man said, pointing his thumb back as Palo followed his gesture to see Quinn laying in another bed just across from them. “Good thing, too. The town guards would’a had your head if they saw you lookin’ like that.” The man continued nonchalantly, nodding towards Palo’s head. The girl finally got her wits about her again, jumping up from the bed she’d been laid out on until now. “W-Who are you?! Where are we!?” The girl shouted, flung into a panic, backing up to the wall. “Calm it, missy. Lady over there isn’t in as good’a shape as you. All kinds of fucked up, she is. How does someone even get burns that bad…” The man trailed off, seeming to talk to himself more than to Palo.

 “Regardless, we don’t need the noise in here. That an’ well, if we wanted to do anything to you, it’d have been done by now.” The man prattled on. “ ‘Spose you’re right…” Palo admitted, lowering her guard a little. “The name’s Brooke.” The man said, standing up to reveal his hulking stature. He towered over Palo, to the point that she had to crane her neck to meet his gaze, yet the man didn’t seem threatening at all. He was thin and long, spindly even as if he were some sort of human insect. “I’m what some might call a shady doctor y’see. We don’t get an awful lot of business here, so I thought you two might appreciate being emergency clients, if ya catch my drift…” He spoke as if he was just offering, but Palo could tell from his tone that he had already had his way with their knapsack of shards. “I won’t sell ya’ out to the big wigs in town, just cause I’m a good doctor of sorts. Patient confidentiality an’ allat.” He continued, waving his hand around as he did. “A devil child here in Muvazani though… Who’da thought.” He said casually, Palo staring daggers at him as he called her such a thing. “What do you want from me, then?” Asked Palo bluntly. “Nothin’ at all! I’m just happy to help people.” The man said, clearly lying through his teeth. “Your friend… She’s in bad condition y’know. If the two’ve ya’d been out there a half hour longer give or take, she’d have passed onto the next life.” Palo tried to hide the guilt that hearing it made her feel but her sombre expression betrayed her intentions. “I-”

"We’ll look after her… For now.” The man interrupted, sparing her an explanation. “I would wager the two of ya don’t have a second choice here… So it’s my duty as a doctor to nurse her back to health. She’ll be good to go in a couple days, just hold out here until then.” Palo wanted to refuse the shady man, but they both knew that there was no alternative, the girl gritting her teeth and conceding. “Okay… But if I find one hair on her head missing by the time we leave… You’ll rue the day.” She spoke back to the man. “Sheesh, scary little lady, you are. A deal it is, then.” Said the man, offering his hand out for a shake. Palo simply looked at him until he got the message, lowering his hand after being hung out to dry.

“Where’s my stuff?” The girl asked, looking more closely at her environment, a dingy sandstone room with medical supplies of all kinds and unusual herbs strung around between coarse hay beds.  “I’ll have my lovely assistant bring it over.” The man responded. “Millie! Bring her stuff out.” He shouted, with a squeak of acknowledgement coming from the other room. Soon after, a tiny woman, at least 5 inches shorter than Palo hobbled into the room, carrying Palo’s big bag of shards and the other stuff Palo had been hauling about thus far. “Here ya’ go little lady.” She said in a shrill voice, audibly grunting as she passed Palo the relatively light set of objects. “Uhh… Thanks.” Palo responded, a rare expression of gratitude from a confused girl. She peeked into her money sack to see half of the shards gone, giving Brooke an immediate look of pure malice before realising that she was in no place to negotiate. The slimy man gave her a smug grin, before showing her to the door, ushering her out as she pulled her hood up. She could never feel good about leaving Quinn with someone she’d never met before but the man was right; he’d had every opportunity to sell them out or kill them if that was his intent, and Quinn DID need medical attention, Palo knew this with what little experience she had with treatments. At least this meant that Quinn wouldn’t slow Palo down as she browsed Muvazani’s wares, though. 

For the first order, Palo went and found herself an Inn to stay at on the border of town, just in case she needed to make a quick escape. It cost her about a third of her remaining shards for a two night stay, and she hoped that Brooke would be done fixing up Quinn by then. After that though, the girl hit the streets of Muvazani, intending to see what made this town ‘such a majesty’ as she’d always heard. As she escaped the backstreets into the centre of town, the washed out sandstone structures transformed into beautiful bespoke stores adorned in red velvet banners and golden ornaments, polished to a dazzling gleam. She spied the oasis the town was built upon, a beautiful lake surrounded by natural palm trees, lined by small stalls selling the most novel and useless of goods. Plenty of well dressed people strolled the streets of Muvazani as sunset approached, nobility from all over and rich traders around to see the latest wares the town had to offer.

The girl pulled her hood tighter over her head, and gripped her bags a little tighter before heading up to a stall displaying a bunch of technological thingamabobs she’d never seen before. “You have anything that helps with… Hearing?...” She asked nervously. “Hearing?... No? Don’t think I do, missy.” Said a visibly confused merchant standing across from her. “You’ve got ear problems, I take it? My wife dabbles in oils good for cleaning…” He continued, rubbing his hands together. “I… think I’m alright actually.” Said Palo, before moving on from the stall. She visited several more stalls with various gizmos laid about, all to about the same response. She passed a fruit stand at one point, selling all sorts of exotic, juicy looking produce, tempting Palo on a deep soul level as she realised she’d only been eating dried, salty preserved food for the past week. She salivated over the idea of a juicy fruit, but she knew she didn’t have the money to spend on extravagant treats when Quinn needed her.

She continued to browse until it was dark, the soft orange lamps hung from each building and stall lighting the city centre up warmly. As Palo grew frustrated, tired and hopeless she passed a stand with a pretty, ornamental looking brown-green hunting bow presented alone on the counter. It was etched with an intricate floral pattern, evoking a strong image of the forest Palo had just recently left. The girl felt compelled to buy it, cracking open her bag of money with the reasoning that it’d be good for hunting for the rest of the trip. “This one’s my masterpiece, my passion project even. Issue with it is, the rich don’t care for a hunting bow and the poor don’t care for novelty. Just a stealing risk for them, can’t blame em.” The craftslady said as she handed the bow over to Palo, the leather quiver included. “Take good care of it for me.” She said with the sadness of separation in her voice. Palo said she would and left the stall, bumping into a small passerby carrying a huge backpack as she did. “Ahh, sorry!” The person said as they rushed by, waving apologetically. Palo thought nothing of it and kept walking. It was a busy city afterall, surely things like this were commonplace in such bustling streets. The girl was right, too, things like this were commonplace, though Palo felt a surge of rage when she noticed her bag of money she’d clutched so closely was entirely absent from her waistband. 

She’d been robbed.

Next Chapter

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[pikidotexe-ask]

Dear English fans,

Utatane Piko and SF-A2 Miki are NOT siblings!

Here’s what I mean:

(I just discovered this misinformation spread because of an old talkloid shitpost on YouTube and I’m responding to this from the perspective of the Japanese fandom. These two are not well known overseas but on Nico Nico Douga, 9 times out of 10, they’re often shipped together. Gobou-P and Mahiruno-P are great examples. While there’s nothing inherently wrong with it; it’s a cute headcannon for them to be brother and sister, but it’s typically unusual. Allow me to explain for the sake of my talkloid series and in general.)

Yes, Utatane Piko and SF-A2 Miki were owned initially by the same company called HEARTFAST back in 2008-2009. This company went bankrupt and the site no longer exists. That much is true.

Miku and Luka are siblings in the sense that they’re both from Crypton and were also originally meant to be counterparts, but those two are completely different and are not “blood related”.

Miki’s quality took a hit from the lack of funding hence her infamous pitching (ta, wa, etc.) and volume issues (soft a, i, loud o, e), even though at the time she had a wider range than Miku and was among one of the most realistic banks. I think Miki tuners should take pride; because if you can tune her, then it’s very worth it and it makes using newer banks feel like cakewalk.

Piko got luckier with quality but he also suffers some phoneme clipping issues, like the N\ squeak or his dampened “da” and “ga”.

It was an awful shame they got split up and overshadowed by other releases. I don’t know if we could petition AHS to purchase Piko from Sony today but we could try. His provider is still active and well, and survived a kidney transplant thanks to his mother.

The Voice Providers:

Miki Furukawa from the band Supercar and later LAMA is from Hachinohe in Aomori Prefecture. (That’s in northern Japan just under the shores of Hokkaido.) She was born February 19th, 1979. Her signature bass guitar is the rare Yamaha SBV-800MF (SB-5a/7a and SBV-550) in blue.

Piko, on the other hand, is from Kobe, in the Kansai region just south of Tokyo (yes, he has the accent!). He was born March 11th, 1988. His start to fame was covering classic vocaloid songs since supecell’s “Love is War” on Nico Nico Douga and the amazing fact that he could sing as both genders with his best friend Sekihan (who has his own band). He’s physically very attractive and is still mistaken for a girl in short glimpses (to his amusement), but he has made it clear he is not gay and likes women (in fact, he’s very quick to remove a heavy wig). If he does “drag” then I’ve noticed it’s usually in a funny trolling sense or as a talent.

I’ve been listening these two practically my whole life along with Yuri Masada and Fukase from Sekai no Owari, because I’m a music junky, and they’re absolutely worth looking into.

Piko and Miki are almost a decade and half a nation apart, they were only under the same music label Ki/oon Records for a while. They’ve most likely never even met.

If they have met, I’ve rarely if ever heard Piko speak of his bank, let alone Miki. I know he has a copy of his own bank, and he's made music with Miku, Gumi, Rin and Len before (Chuutoro-P). Piko is still doing music work, streams, and YouTube now. Miki’s getting her SynthV release in December 2024 and she is doing quiet live shows and fashion work.

(In my series I decided to make them 1 year apart similar to their release dates.)

Their Designs:

While they are counterparts, no part of them is essentially “blood related”.

Piko’s iconic hair is the same as his mother’s to honour her, Utatane’s cowlick is just to differentiate.

Vocaloid Miki was about to have the similar short hair as in real life. I know this because I bought her artbook with KYMG’s concept designs. Supercar made a lot of laid back rock and almost meditative, space-like/romantic songs you could groove out/fall asleep to, hence her space theme. Furukawa has a cover of Saihate so you could tell she enjoyed Miku’s kz/Livetune era with songs like “Light Song” and “Packaged” (2008).

Piko’s entire design is specifically based on the discontinued (sigh) Yamaha RGX-A2 electric guitar in aircraft grey (other colours red, black, and dark blue), the aux jack to usb tail on the hem of his outfit falls with the computer instrument metaphor. It makes sense the two would be guitar and bass, since Miki is primarily a bassist who can sing and use a keyboard.

These two also have the same robotic joint markings, Piko’s are just harder to see because of his black sleeves and because his legs are covered, but people forget the elbow areas on the sleeves are actually transparent.

In conclusion:

Yamaha (I believe) wanted to launch an “Artist Edition” series at the time based on real musicians. The voices were Miki (Furukawa), Piko, Gakupo Kamui (Gakt), and Lily (Yuri Masada). If there were others, I don’t remember, but the “development code” thing was likely Heartfast’s idea pertaining to this theme by giving the two prototype sci-fi joints.

If the western fandom’s definition of “siblings” is by same company umbrella, then I accept that. Otherwise, I personally ship them very hard here because they’re totally unrelated and my goal is to give them the love they deserved and spread the word.

I hope this rant was educational.

Cheers!

[majesticbirdonascooter]

thoughts on hell breaks loose

ok y’all i KNOWWW i’m like a month late but honestly this was a strugglebus for me to read, despite being so short. and normally i whizz through SP books in a day or two, but this was just painful to read. 

tagging @facelessxchurch as i promised to be a massive hater (i hope that’s ok!! :’) and that this lived up to your expectations lolol)

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT !!!

starting out with the positives of HBL so i dont look like a COMPLETE hater!! so what i liked:  

the usual SP humour was in there and it’ll never fail to make me laugh

ghastly lore!! finding out about ghastly’s past relationships and his parents!!! 

mev and serpine canonly wearing wigs (& serpine’s wig being snatched) because they may be complete villains but GOD DAMMIT, THEY’RE VILLAINS THAT HAVE AN ✨ AESTHETIC ✨

rima being the best blink-and-you’ll-miss-it new character since phase 1

the saracen vs delicat fight (was hilarious if you look past the chivalry bullshit convo)

seeing mr bliss and meritorious again!!! and just the elders in gen!! they were fucking cool!!

seeing hopeless & him interacting with everyone (we have no choice but to stan) 

dexter vex being dexter vex

now we’re going hater mode and here are all the things i had problems with: 

literally everything else. ok bye

jk 

firstly. where the hell was china/the diablerie???? anyone??? okay now i’ve got that out the way...

terrible writing

Landy’s writing has always been simple but this story is like… simpler than simple. The sentences are also oddly structured and it SEEMS like he tried to give the characters’ speech an old timey vibe but it just comes off as... really awkward sounding.

the battles for this story were unreadable for me, i found myself skipping past them because there was just no substance/detail there, or if there was detail it was just filler (looking at the last fight with the dead men vs mevolent’s gang) 

i just got bored. and i never get bored with an SP book, but 3 chapters in and i left the book for a month before i could read it again, because there seemed to be no plot until the very end.

lack of characterisation

what are the personality traits of ghastly’s mother in this? i couldn’t tell ya. hell, what were the traits of ANY character in this story? what was the point of introducing ghastly’s mum after hyping her up for so many years if you won’t utilise her?

adding onto this, all the characters just read as samey for me, if we took away the names of the characters for dialogue etc i literally would NOT be able to tell who said what, because they all had the same personality.

which brings me to the stone sisters. they had so much potential but they were just SO boring. rapture had 0 personality and i didnt care that ghastly fell in love with her. i don’t even know how he did.

also found it wild that landy is trying to push a (forced) romance between ghastly and rapture. obviously ghastly would have other people he’s interested in before tanith but is it really necessary for a story this short? Like the anselm backstory + his parent’s lore would’ve been enough, the romance didn’t add anything to this shitty story.

valkyrie fuckin’ cain

dear landy, valkyrie cain doesnt have to be in every single story. the plot does not have to revolve around her. this has been a public announcement.

why oh WHY did this bitch rock up out of nowhere halfway through the story? 

in the end it’s not like she even does much. plus if it’s a story ABOUT THE DEAD MEN, keep it about THEM, not her. 

at one part she brags about all of her stupid powers and it’s at this point that i start drinking to forget how awful this story is

most of her conversations are just ripped from the pages of when she spoke to meritorious in the OTHER parallel dimension. what was the point??? 

oh pee pee poo poo angry birds!!!11 

fuck valkyrie cain she should’ve stayed tf out of HBL

other moments from when i live-reacted to this god damn story but can’t be bothered to write about fully:

Already like one page into the book and I feel like the writing is off…? Idk I’ve been reading phase one again recently so mb its just that I forgot what phase 2 writing is like (if HBL is similar writing wise to phase 2?)

Literally two pages in and theres already typos. Someone get this man’s editor an editor.

I dunno I feel like this book is trying too hard but simultaneously not trying AT ALL

Im getting a fucking drink. Maybe that’ll make this bearable.

Im in so much pain reading this book now. And I cant stop cringing. Someone tell me when its over pLEASE

Everyone’s dyng what the fuck

Landy really is obsessed with the “ooo it was all a dream” trope shit and “ooo the timeline that never happened” bullshit huh

And for my final thought:

if the hidden god bullshit is a set up for phase 3 I don’t even WANNA know