#don't fuck with me what the hell i will defeat all evil

[calpicowater]

Week 48/52: November 28th - December 4th 2022 | Back in Vancouver... 🍗

Day two of road trip went well too. A long day in the end because of unloading and shit afterwards. My first time back in main studio in like 2 months lmao. Had performance review meetings the day after and then the bullshit started.......... At least I got to eat Nene Chicken with bf. Hot spicy chicken is sooooo good. I love them. 

[spiritseeeker]

This singular frame was all it took to undo my very extreme hatred of Adam, Vivienne Medrano how dare you make me feel sympathy for this man-

Like, Adam before this scene? A blatant misogynist and a hypocrite who unabashedly revels in sinners' suffering. A guy who has no regard for anyone else, and who pisses pretty much every viewer off with patronizing jabs like "sorry sweetie" and "try to chillax, babe." Ugh, disgusting.

As the first man, it seems like he got an easy pass into Heaven. Maybe the angels were just saving face, given that their core pair of humans both took the fruit of knowledge of good and evil willingly, ordaining Adam on the technicality that "Eve did it first." But I think we can all agree that it was not on the merit of Adam's virtue.

And then Charlie draws blood during their fight in Episode 8, and, for the first time, Adam genuinely realizes he can be hurt. Like, for the first time in the duration of the show, in his entire fucking existence, someone shows him that he is not, in fact, an all-powerful symbol of power and superiority. He's just a guy with privilege who is just as vulnerable, just as flawed, just as human as the rest of them.

But once the mask is shattered, revealing the rather unexceptional man underneath, does Adam back down? Of course not—he doubles down. There's nothing worse than a narcissist who is virtually incapable of seeing the error of their ways, even when they're clearly backed into a corner. Bruised and bloody, he bellows that he's THE man; everybody should worship him.

For me, that pretty much hit the nail in the coffin. There was no redeeming a character like Adam (ironic, since he's one of the few characters in the show not in need of redemption).

So isn't it fitting, then, that his death didn't happen in some grand display requiring all of Lucifer or Charlie's might? Isn't it fitting that Adam falls to Niffty—not Lucifer, not an overlord, but a common sinner, who sees him as nothing more than a foot soldier that needs to be eliminated, a pest as easily squashed as a roach? For someone as self-aggrandizing as Adam, this has to be one of the most humiliating ways to die. The perfect end for an insufferable antagonist.

But nooo, Vivziepop didn't end it there.

Because INSTEAD, we hear Lute's heart-wrenching screams as she realizes that Adam has just been defeated; we see the look on her tear-streaked face when it registers just how badly he's been injured. The fear in her eyes at the prospect of living in a world without the angel she idolizes, the man she serves.

She's not concerned that she's just lost her arm, or that Vaggie is standing right there. In that moment, the only person in Hell is Adam, and all she wants is for him to stay with her.

Adam could have easily dismissed her feelings entirely. He could have spent his last breath hurling one last insult at Lucifer, getting the satisfaction of having the last word before his death. He could have thrown himself a pity party and cursed his fate.

Instead, this greedy, selfish, murderous fiend has the audacity to see Lute in his field of vision and flash her one last, tender smile.

We don't know for sure what Adam was thinking in this shot, but personally, I think it was something along the lines of I lost. Proud of you, Lute. I'll miss you. Goodbye.

Whatever his final thoughts are, we can surmise from his expression alone that he's accepted his fate, and that he's grateful his last seconds alive are locking eyes with someone who's important to him. Someone he cares about.

And THAT—that was enough to crack through that thick shell of hatred I'd developed for Adam and shatter it like the mask he wore for seven and a half episodes of the show. THAT 8-second moment was enough to make me reconsider my stance on Adam as an irredeemable villain.

(CURSE YOU, VIVIENNE!!!)

Does this scene cancel out all the heinous things Adam does throughout Season 1? All the lives he destroys, all the pain he causes to thousands upon thousands of souls? Absolutely not. But it does change my perception of Adam from "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness" to "obnoxious egomaniac with no self-awareness that is a product of the flawed system he perpetuates."

And, I gotta wonder, what would Adam have been like if Heaven had been different?

[sometimesraven]

Unpopular writing opinion:

We need more absolutely vile, unlikeable villains. There’s a place for villains you can "babygirl" but I’m bored of it. Give me the most nasty disgusting villains that will make me cringe into the earth you cowards.

There's this entire thing that's cropped up around 'likeable' or 'relatable' villains where, instead of being a cautionary tale about how we can all end up there or how people who seem lovely can actually be vile, it's become "uwu babygirl isn't evil after all"

And like there's a place for it! I like my fair share of babygirl villains! Hell I was there all the way back when Thor was released and Loki kicked off the popularisation of this trend!

I'm just,,, bored of it now. Especially when I'm seeing people do the whole babygirlification process on real-ass human beings???? It's gone too far.

Give me vile.

Give me the eugenicist who wants to eradicate 'imperfections' because he thinks he's an agent of God

Give me an abusive horrible parent but don't tell me they're trying just show me from their kid's eyes the catharsis of getting them the fuck out of their life

Give me the fuckin westboro baptist church for elves or someshit i don't care, just give me something I can hate with my entire being so that I can feel the rush of vindication when they inevitably get defeated.

There's too many irredeemable, vile people in real life. Especially as a trans person right now, it's easy to fall into despair when I see how untouchable those people seem to be, and how many people will defend them based on their motivations or some other "relatable" bullshit.

Give me a story that shows they're not as untouchable as they seem. Give me a story that shows there's always hope for the downtrodden; that the vile, horrible people trying to destroy us are just that, and they don't deserve a single tear. Stop trying to humanise our abusers, because we know they're humans but they don't care that we are too.

Just once, give me someone I can sink my teeth into and tear apart without the slightest touch of empathy. Give me what I can't have in real life.

[willowthewiisp]

Lore points in the dlc that piss me off and make no sense

The greater will going AWOL after sending the elden beast breaks so many lore points I'm inclined to just straight up disregard it altogether because it makes no sense. The beasts were given intelligence presumably by the greater will. The elden ring existed during the time of the beasts we know that because of farum azula and the elden ring depiction there. The greater will not being around during that time makes no sense. It would make much more sense that the greater will left during the beginning stages of marikas rule and most certainly cutting ties when the elden ring was broken. But to straight up say god wasn't there from day one is so...? Bad??? I can accept the mother of fingers making shit up after the greater will cut her off but there are things that only a god like the greater will can do. what about the eternal cities being banished underground by the greater will??? If GW wasn't around for that time who did it then? What could possibly have that kind of power. It just makes no sense?????

Also the outer god of rot being written out is so bad too because what the fuck did the blind swordsman seal under the lake of rot then??? Was that just bullshit? Malenia wasn't a candidate anymore because she was an empyrean being used as the vessel for the god of rot because it wanted to imprint its age of rot on the elden ring. It literally makes no sense if Romina is the creator of rot if she's not an outer god.

and another thing, if all the numens in the shaman village were supposedly killed off by the hornsent or maybe even sacrificed by Marika (who knows) who were the black knife assassins and how were they numens associated with Marika if supposedly they were gone.

Why is rellana in the land of shadow have I missed something.

Why is there one crucible knight here.

If Marika was so traumatized by the saint jars why did she fucking allow living jars and why did she allow the jars in general to feed the erdtree. I don't believe this whole narrative that Marika is a tragic baby hurt by the evil hornsent for a second. Her entire backstory and foundation reeks of white colonizer to the point I bet those fuckin numens came here and tried to start shit. Anyways.

I know this horse has been beaten to death already but why on earth would radahn agree to be a consort to a god who wants an age of peace if "war suited him". He held the stars in place to probably protect ranni (and sellia) but also to help the golden order because we know the golden order wasn't a big fan of reading the stars and shit. He was a huge fan of Godfrey, and saw his father as a hero and wore his red hair with honor ( in contrast to radagon who hated it). Look I have no idea if radahn is just as fucked up as miquella or not but you cannot deny him being this consort is bizarre and left field. I would have genuinely accepted godwyn of all people over radahn. Godwyn was a powerful warrior he defeated the dragons but he was also kind and compassionate because he befriended fortissax to the point that dragon bro was ride or die and allowed himself to be eaten alive by deathblight. Also hello miquella literally calls him lord brother. Godwyn being revived was literally miquellas big plan other than curing malenia. So why the fuck was radahn chosen??? It's not like godwyn was dead when miquella was born and shit???? Also?? If mohg had to be used it would make kind of sense that he was used for godwyn since they share the same mother and father rather than radahn who didn't share either Godfrey or Marika (yes I know radagon is Marika). It would have probably been easier for godwyn to sink into mohgs body since they shared actual blood.

If marika was so very traumatized and hated everything having to do with the crucible and the hornsent why the hell would she allow Godfrey to have crucible knights as well as other crucible vestiges.

There's more but I'm just flabbergasted by the lore direction in general. It's almost like two different writing teams are at work.

[demontruth]

Prison Time for Trump is needed and this Why...

Y'all, I just did the math (if I did it correctly), I just realized something Trump could get 136 years in prison!! Because each of 34 counts comes with a maximum of 4 years if the Judge decided that Trump should do them separatly boom 134 years! Which fingers crossed. I know that highly unlikely but still the thought makes me so incredibly happy!! However I do think the Judge should give 'No Longer Teflon Don' some prison time.

Here's my thoughts on that. Because no matter the amount of time it's gonna fuck with Trump's head psychologically, as I see it. He's gonna be put in handcuffs taken out of the court room, hopefully. Put on a prison bus, once again hopefully. He's gonna be taken to a prison, maybe it be white collar or please let be federal prison. They're still gonna take all this clothes from him and anything that he has like his expensive ass watch and everything else he has on his person. Then they're going to strip searching him, which I feel extremely bad for whatever prison guard that may end up having do that. Give that man bonus, no joke. That's gonna have to do that. But still just that experience is going to be humiliating and demoralizing which I'm sorry he deserves in my opinion. Maybe but doubtful it will teach him some humility. Then they're going to make him get into whatever color jumpsuit, may it be orange, oh please Jesus let it be orange! Then those he going have to put on those lovely prison shoes. Then they're gonna take his ass to a cell where he's gonna have a celly no doubt. Hopefully its someone that fucking dislike him strongly and not one of his MAGA asshole. And then they're going to close the cell door. That sound alone I would imagine would have a profound effect on him mentally. Because he's the arrogant, a narcissist, egotistical, sociopathic. In that prison he's just like everybody else. He's can't stand up there thinking he's the big man having all his loyal MAGA cult followers screaming and cheeringfor him. That's going to mess with him like nothing else. And put him on a level with what he considers common people is going to mess with him in a way that nothing else ever could. Because he won't get special treatment, the prison guards aren'tgoing to treat him better then the other prisoners shit they might treat him worse if he acts up. Ithink it's so important that it happens to this motherfucker. It's time he brought down to the level he deserves. The level he's been running from forever. Because has anyone seen him now? I have no by choice, just watching the news and of course he's all over the news. He looks so defeated, pathetic, sad, old, beaten, tried, as he would say zero energy. As evil as this may sound and I really don't care... I fucking love it!! Give more of it!!

Now we just HAVE TO DEFEAT him in the Presidential election!! Biden may not be what we want either but it better then a man that's going be hell bent on revenge on everyone that disagrees with him, but on trial, who still want to but him on trial. Remember he still has at least 2 more trials coming and if gets back in the White House he'll do everything in his power to squash them. He'll go after the FBI, the DOJ and every other agency that investigated him. He will literally go on a witch hunt! Don't be mistaken and don't be stupid enough to believe he will not go full Dictator if he gets back into the white house. Trump likes/loves power far too much either far actual prison time with more criminal trials down the road he'll use that power to make sure that don't happen. See the whole I want to President again is just a Red Herring, to distract everyone from his criminal trials and a way to make them go away.

Once again I'm saying something I've been saying since before Trump became President the first time omg I'm tried. But anyway. Trump doesn't give a flying monkey shit about anyone but himself! Not the us the American people, not our Foreign policy, not climate crisis, not gun control, not education... nothing!! The only reason his sides with the Conservatives is because they kiss his ass. I completely understand why us on the left will not. But it does put us in the position of Trump not doing that we need him to do. So as much as I hate this we should pick somebody on the left that would be willing to kiss his ass so hopefully he would start doing what we want him to do. And you have no idea how much that pains me to actually write that!

But we on the left need to start fighting like we did in the last Presidential election! Grass root efforts, hitting the streets, online, fucking everywhere, especially with swing voters! We have get Biden re-elected no matter what because this another election of our life times that will matter in more then just 4 year from now!!

[proxylynn]

My theory of Hazbin Hotel's main plot.

[This may just be a hot take or me whimsically spitballing headcanon, but I have thought about this and, while I don't have all the puzzle's pieces, I think I have enough to make out a decent picture. So bear with me as I unload the insanity that has been in my head since entering the Hellaverse.]

Starting things off, I think the main villain/antagonist of HH's plot is the obvious elephant in the room...Roo aka The Root of ALL Evil.

According to Vivziepop, Roo is a "looming threat in the distance", possibly hinting toward her being a future antagonist and she mentioned that there is no character that she is more excited to get into than Roo, but, she also mentioned that it's "gonna be a long time". So likely we won't see her properly till season three but get hints throughout season two and teased at the end. I will make no claim that "defeating" Roo solves everything in the universe because that's nonsense. There is no good without evil. So you can't just off Roo who's been there since the beginning. And I mean THE beginning. I'm talking the creation of EVERYTHING.

"Angels that worshiped good and shielded all from evil."

Evil exists at the start before Lucifer does anything, this is a fact. So where am I going with this? Let's continue down the line. To the one driving my train of thought...Lilith.

For someone who didn't eat the fruit of the knowledge of good and evil, Lilith was very aware of certain things and had independent free will. But humanity didn't get this autonomy till after the fruit fiasco, so what happened? Why did Lilith have magic main character self-awareness? Well, let's think about this...Why was there such a tree in Eden in the first place? The Angels are making this a paradise and keeping evil out of Earth. So why place a tree in there that would fuck it all up? This was why they didn't want Lucifer making shit because they were worried his ideas would be too risky and bad could happen. So again, why was this tree here? What if...The Angels didn't make it.

I propose, as her name so implies, that Roo sprouted the tree up without the Angels knowing in the hopes the fruit would be eaten and allow evil to taint the world. Lilith might have gotten a hint of what the tree granted and what simple veil that clouded her eyes was lifted enough to make her reject Adam and flee the garden. It's even said that "together" she and Lucifer share the gift of free will with Eve, but Lilith seems to take this stand back and watch approach when Lucifer gives her the fruit, almost like she's uncertain what eating it will do so she keeps her distance. This again, also hints that Lilith has had free will from the start and didn't eat the fruit because it was only when Eve ate the fruit did evil finally break the seal to enter Earth.

"As punishment for their reckless act, Heaven cast Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created."

Now here's where it gets a bit more headcanony because this line could mean nothing or everything. Lucifer and Lilith are banished to the newly made Hell. I repeat...Heaven cast Lucifer and Lilith into Hell. Nowhere does it say she died. So...We have the first human woman who didn't eat the fruit and never died. By technically, Lilith still has her immortality. She's the oldest human alive. It's also stated Lucifer shares his power with her (and Charlie), which makes sense if she's just some dull human. So, now imbued with this mix of angel/demon rizz, Lilith becomes even more OP and Hell's mary sue Queen that dominates like the bad boss bitch she is.

"Lilith thrived, empowering demonkind with her voice and her songs. And as the numbers of Hell grew, so did its power."

Lilith as a character has a surprisingly decent amount of info to work with considering we only saw her for the smallest moment. So here's some goodies I've collected from the wiki that are of note.

{According to Vivziepop, Lilith is the "big, slowburn mystery" of the show, adding that we are going to slowly start getting answers over the course of the "next couple seasons", and that season two gives some more pieces to it.}

{When asked about what Lilith was like, Faustisse described Lilith as graceful, regal, and politically charged. Lilith is someone who is exceptionally equanimous. This was implied in "Overture" as in the "Story of Hell" book she is depicted helping Hell thrive over the years using her voice and her songs.}

{When asked about Lilith and Lucifer's dynamic, Faustisse believed their relationship could be summed up with the phrase, "Behind every man is a greater woman", and that they love each other very much. They describe Lilith and Lucifer as "passionate, cheesy lovers". They are of the opinion that Lilith "wears the pants" in her family, but they think both Lilith and Lucifer are switches within their intimate life.}

{When asked about Lilith's powers, Faustisse declined to answer, citing possible spoilers for the main series. They did, however, state that they did not think Lilith had wings like Charlie and Lucifer, although saw no reason why she wouldn't be able to manifest them if she wished. According to Faustisse, Lilith can change the shape of her horns, but it's unlikely this will be shown in practice in the series as it would apparently be difficult to show that kind of constant change over consecutive scenes.}

{When asked if the Eden family have some connection to the royal family as well, Vivziepop declined to answer one way or the other.}

{Due to her origins as a former human, it is likewise unclear if Lilith is connected to the Sinners, who are deceased humans and became demons after death; as Lilith was alive when she was banished to Hell, her transition between human and demon is ambiguous.}

{Faustisse has suggested that she is somewhat good with children}

{Lilith disappeared seven years prior to the series for reasons unknown, never responding to any of her daughter's attempts to call her. Curiously, she was missing the same amount of years as Alastor. Lilith was later revealed to be in Heaven in "The Show Must Go On". Although the exact reasons remain unknown, it was heavily alluded to that she had made a deal with Adam at some point.}

You might look at all this and be like "Lynn, you dummy, we know all this. This is just random stuff". Oh, I think not. Because in just these bits we get so much. Let's begin with the character setup for diving into my main theory.

I think Lilith does love her family. She has a loving and amazing husband in Lucifer and in Charlotte (aka Charlie) the most adorable and kindhearted daughter any mother could ask for. As Queen, she took charge and made Hell less of a pit to wallow and suffer in, and more like a new home to begin anew. So then...What happened? Why would she suddenly leave and cut all communications? Here is where we dig into the meat of it all. My theory of why Lilith left.

Remember how I said Lilith didn't eat the fruit and still had free will then pounded that over and over into you? Well, going on what I said about her getting "a hint of what the tree granted", Roo could've infected Lilith and gifted her awareness while in Eden. Now in Hell where Roo is arguably stronger due to all the sin and sickness that permeates the realm, her influence on Lilith would increase. Lilith, being the big brain that she is, probably felt something was amiss when she got pregnant. Nine months is a long time to plan things out, and maybe doing a few concerts to warn others of impending danger subtlety might've worked...but only for so long. She needed something. A safety. And that safety was her family. Lucifer likely could've been useful but his depression was beginning to take hold with each failure and the worsening sinners as years passed. So...plan B...Charlie. She would instill in her daughter everything she knew and give her a "destiny".

"But Lilith's hope remained. And her dream passed down to their precious daughter, the Princess of Hell."

With Charlie, Lilith instilled that the people were important. But never explained in what way. As she continued to prepare her daughter, Lilith would come to understand this reason. Power. Roo thrives on the tainted evil that seeps from the sinners. So just as she finishes schooling Charlie, she sets up another backup plan to still Roo's intake long enough for her daughter to figure out a way of her own...And this is where Adam comes in.

"Adam is dead. Your deal is done and I'm in charge now. Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven. And if you want to stay here, you're going down there, and stopping that bitch. You understand me…Lilith?"

Feeling Roo's corruptive influence getting worse because sinners just keep coming, Lilith contacts Adam. Now Adam is still salty but hears his first wife out as she caters to his ego. But Adam is wiser after millennia and knows she's not being innocent here. He bluntly gets her to just spill the beans to which she does, she needs out of Hell. Adam grabs this opportunity and says he can sneak her into Heaven but it'll cost her. He knows how much her precious people mean to her so, vindictively, he says he'll take her in if he can go into Hell and kill demons. Little does he know he's playing into her trap. She "reluctantly" agrees so long as no Hellborn are harmed, only sinners. Adam is all for it, even makes a cover story to tell Sera later how killing sinners in Hell will keep Heaven safe, and Lilith then goes about doing the hardest thing she's ever done. She tells Lucifer of some details of this new Heavenly Extermination thing and that she'll have to go away for a long time, promising to return but unsure when. Heartbroken, Lucifer watches as his love leaves him, their daughter, and their kingdom.

"Hey, mom. I know I keep calling and you must be busy... Really busy... But, um, the interview didn't go well, and... I don't know if I'm ever going to make a difference. I don't know what I'm doing. I could really use some advice, mom. I... I think dad was right about me... Ahah, oof. Eh, anyway... I'll stop talking before this gets long. Love you, bye..."

"Don't worry, Mom. I'll make you proud."

Vaggie: Did you hear from your mom?

*Charlie shakes her head in dismay.*

Vaggie: Oof… how long has it been now?

Charlie: Not that long, only…seven….years, off doing something important, I'm sure! But, this kingdom was something she really cared about. Something I care about.

This is what I think it's all been leading to. Lilith having made Charlie into someone for the people and wanting to save souls in a, as funny as it is, maintaining the very balance that got fucked up way back in the garden sort of redeeming way. Restoring order by allowing the good to go where it should've gone in the first place and keeping Roo weak. Maybe Lilith can even get her own redemption, being partially responsible for allowing Roo into our world in the first place. The only added weight I have left to give to my silly little "infected Lilith" idea is how she looks at season one's ending.

She looks pissed and upset, which we can say for a few reasons like how Lute just straight-up calls Charlie a bitch to her face. Like, dude, dick move. But, with Adam dead and seemingly no progress from Charlie (that she knows of), Lute is forcing her to go back to Hell where Roo's influence can grip her once more. I'm not entirely sure just what that could mean but for the sake of the Alastor/Lilith theory fans, let's say when Roo is strong she can puppet Lilith into infecting others via demonic deals. She might have done this countless times with mixed results, only to have full success in Alastor. But Mr deer is a bit too successful a test subject and thus gets his powers leashed. Now we have Alastor trying to force his way out of this mixed-up double-power deal by roping in Charlie, the one kink in this chain that could cause everything to break if forced too much.

It would explain his latching onto Charlie and seeking a deal since the very first time they met. She's a means to an end. The key to unlocking his proverbial collar. It even explains his out-of-nowhere instant disdain for Lucifer. Of course he'd be hostel to the husband of the bitch that metaphorically screwed him and poses a threat to his current plan of using his daughter for his own means.

Well, this was a long as fuck rambling. I hope even a shred of this made sense. Now to sit back and wait for season two to come along and either be like "I got something right" or "Wow I was dead wrong on so many levels". I wonder how long that will take?

"In an interview posted on February 2, 2024, Vivziepop thought that the production of season two might take about one-and-a-half to two years, roughly the same production time season one had."

Oh...um...Looks like we have some time. So, we can expect the new episodes to land in late 2025 at the earliest. *sets up chair* I can wait.

[tyrantisterror]

I'm still thinking about that fucking poor excuse of a villain song from Wish, and, like... ok so I'm thinking of two similar villain songs that feel like they're essentially doing the same thing but land a lot better with me and trying to reason out why that is, but it's almost midnight after an exhausting day at work and I don't know how well I can do that, but what the hell let's try anyway.

Ok, so, looking at The Cursed Object first, I think what it's trying to do is a humorous juxtaposition of an upbeat pop song with dark lyrics, to show the villain thinks of himself as a lovable hero while he's actually a piece of shit. We're supposed to see how the villain is a vain, self-centered monster who's willing to sacrifice anyone and everyone necessary to keep and/or increase his power, all while painting himself as a hero for doing so. I don't think it succeeds in this aim, but that's what it's trying to do, right?

When trying to think of songs that were similar, my first thought was "No One But You" from Galavant, where Magdalena, a damsel-in-distress who slowly turns into an evil queen over the course of the first season, has a bunch of conversations with her own ego via reflections of herself in mirrors, just like King Chris Pine up there. Magdalena also posits herself as the hero of her story, a woman who's faced a great deal of stress and discomfort and ultimately can't rely on anyone to save her except herself - No One But Her can solve the problems she faces. She genuinely views herself as the hero, as much as she can view anyone as a hero anyway, and the world as an enemy to be defeated, suppressed, and destroyed if necessary. And I think it works because, despite the jokes the scene is filled with, it's very clear Magdalena is a genuine threat. She's taken seriously by the scene in a way that King Chris Pine isn't - there's genuine menace here.

But perhaps I'm getting this wrong - I haven't seen Wish, and maybe King Chris Pine isn't meant to be a serious villain, but rather a comic one. His number definitely seems to rely on comedy way more, so maybe I need another angle.

Let's look at a different Galavant villain and a different villain song to go with him - "She'll Be Mine" by King Richard. King Richard is explicitly a humorous villain, a bumbling oaf who's only deadly because the feudal system decided to give him a ludicrous amount of power over people's lives by dint of his birth. He's an incompetent idiot with so much vaguely medieval fantasy land firepower at his disposal that he's actually more dangerous for it, because ultimately far more people pay for his incompetence than he ever does (in the first season, anyway). He's goofy and silly and not threatening on his own, but rather as a result of how his petulant whims will be carried out immediately and with excessive force, no matter how stupid they are.

All of that could apply to King Chris Pine from what I've gleaned from his villain song... but again, I feel it's done much more effectively with Richard's song here. It's a happy, upbeat song with wicked lyrics, just like "This Is the Thanks I Get," but the lyrics benefit from being, well... firstly, just better in general (the rhyme of "Job" and "Prob" in the Wish number causes me intense abdominal pain), but specifically by heightening the contrast of the evilness of the villain with the joyfulness of the song to a much more potent degree. The hilarious tonal disconnect between the words "I want to skewer him with swords and slowly twist them!" and the peppy way in which they're song is just delicious.

But I also think that, like with Magdalena's song, the real difference is that this song takes Richard's feelings and motivations seriously. Richard feels genuinely hurt by Galavant's very existence and how Magdalena holds Galavant in much higher esteem than him, and the song is focused on that thread. When Richard does describe his evil wishes, there's almost an innocence to it - "I'll get back to all my hobbies, like raising taxes and tormenting the poor!" - and then he switfly refocuses to his grievance with Galavant, as if he doesn't actually want to think about how his petty whims are cruel (because, as the story shows, once Richard actually thinks about his actions, he realizes they're awful and feels shame for them). He's always running away from self reflection to dwell in his grudge, and that's how he's able to stick to his villainous course while still viewing himself as in the right.

Meanwhile King Chris Pine's lyrics, in addition to just being bad ("I let you live here for free and don't even charge you rent" cool beans dude you just said the same thing twice), is so damn focused on his obvious character faults in a way that makes it clear the writers know he's a bad guy and want to relate that to the audience, but don't know how to do it without just having him say, "Yeah I'm an evil hypocrite." I don't feel I get a sense of his nuance, of how he justifies this to himself, from this song, not the way I do with Magdalena and Richard.

Though maybe I'm wrong! Maybe the difference is that I've watched Galavant several times, and can see how its songs relate to the inner workings of its characters because I have the rest of the series to point me in the right direction when analyzing them, whereas I'm just watching King Chris Pine's song in isolation without the context of the rest of the movie. Maybe to give it a truly fair shake I need to watch the whole movie.

I mean, I won't. It looks boring. But if I cared about making a good analysis, I probably would.

I don't though.

These are the posts you make when it's midnight and you're very sleep deprived.

[wisttwist]

jester's privilege

(past) nebu (nathaniel) & reader, morningstar (ithaqua) & reader cliche scene where the hero enters the defeated kings bedroom and all the concubines are crawling all over him but instead of a dozen concubines trying to seduce him it's a single crusty manservant making middle school tier jokes warnings: mentions of canon typical war crimes etc

...

There was a small, breathtakingly ugly cushion in the corner of the room, bright primary colours clashing with the creams and golds of the late Tower Lord's interior design (which was also ugly, Helel would like to append).

A similarly small and breathtakingly ugly servant (?) sits on this cushion, presently engaged in thrilling (mind numbing) icebreakers (he would like to break some ice over your head, yes) with the Sun Eater as he idly turned over Nebuchadnezzar's royal paraphernalia.

"So he doesn't bed you and you aren't politically valuable. Then why are you in here, and not out there?" He gestures to the smoke from the mines, visible from the tower window.

"He doesn't send me to the quarries because I'm special. I'm his special boy."

"He calls you that?"

"No."

Helel made the temporary generalization that conversation with you was a waste of oxygen and stalks off to continue his inspection of the room, deaf to your remarks.

A voice comes from right behind his shoulder. "What do I call you?" Somehow, you'd soundlessly traversed the cluttered floor to stand uncomfortably close.

He scowls. So much for ignoring you. "Don't you know who I am?"

"I do live in a cell." You mumble, picking your nose and wiping the snot on your pants.

For a second, the Eclipse considers retelling the story of his conquest for the nth time but honestly, he wasn't sure how much more gloating he could wring out of it, especially with this audience. "It doesn't matter who I am. Just know that I'm the new king."

"Your voice is very familiar."

"No it's not."

"Very well. It's not." You fidget on the spot, bell-studded clothes jingling. "Do I call you sire? Or are you more formal?"

"Do as you wish."

Satisfied with his vague and minimalist answers, he returns to his prior task of sorting through the Sun King's old shit; mentally categorizing them for later: keep, trash, take to the thrift store, incinerate. Surveying the shelves, he sighs. This would be a lengthy task.

…

"Do you want a tour?" Breathing on the back of his neck, again. Uncomfortably close, again.

Helel gives you a firm push back. "No."

"Are you still wondering what my purpose was?" You chirp, undeterred as ever.

"If I recall correctly, the Sun King already had a clown in his court. I freed him way back when." Maybe if Helel paid more attention to that event, he'd note that the Encroached did mention an irritating bell-wearing obstacle between him and his master. Not that you can prepare for this brand of mild but persistent evil. "But considering this room is full of useless junk, it's not hard to guess why you're here."

Ignoring his jab, you sidle close once more, plotting another invasion attempt on his personal space. "Jesters and clowns are two different things."

Yeah, you were different. The other guy was less annoying. Mercifully, he elects to give a noncommittal grunt instead of mentioning this detail, hoping that you'll lose interest in trying to continue your conversation.

The Sun Eater lifts up a decanter of mystery fluid (pale and golden like everything else). He's about to lean in to give it a smell test when you stop him. "That's not wine, sire."

Owlishly, his head swivels around to face you.

You close your eyes sagely and pause for dramatic effect, wasting more of Helel's time on waiting for you to elaborate. "It's pee."

The decanter shatters on the floor. You watch him frantically wipe his hands off on the expensive curtains. "What the fuck?"

A good poker face is a crucial survival skill for your occupation, but given your employer is currently burning in hell, you are very much off the clock right now. You double over with laughter. "Oh heavens, sire. You're too gullible, oh stars and suns, oh- Oh!"

Helel's clawed hand yanks you up by the hair. "Are you five years old. Greater men have died for lesser-"

"Let me down, please, sire!" The twinge of stifled laughter slurring your pleas for your life don't help your case. "I'm sorry! Please!"

You're dropped in a crumpled, jingling heap on the floor. Briefly, the Morning Star considers sending you to the gallows, but is it really worth the effort? Your transgressions, frequent as they were, weren't significant enough for that. Besides, on a smaller level he won't admit, his pride refuses to let you get to him. "I'll take you up on the tour offer." He declares with finality, crossing his arms. "You touch everything before I do."

"Yes, sire!" You jump up to attention, back ramrod straight in a mockery of military obedience. "Does that make me the royal toucher? Or king's toucher? That's like being a king's taster but instead of tasting-"

Your voice trails off as you feel Helel's glare burning through his mask and into your skull.

"Ahem. On the left, we have war spoils from the southeastern peninsula…"

… 

Truly, the home renovation aspect of overthrowing corrupt tyrants is underestimated. The remainder of the afternoon was spent sorting doohickeys into piles in the middle of the floor for future storage. Or rather, Helel did the majority of the heavy lifting while you (un)helpfully stood in the corner, regaling him with tales of the previous regime and the exact happenings of court life. He wants to tell you to stop talking for 5 minutes and do something useful but you would probably cite the importance of 'moral support' and try to weasel your way out of it. Besides, even if you were trying to do something of substance, it probably involved inventing new ways to fuck up moving furniture, fiddling with his temper even further. You were like a mosquito, he decides. Too little to do real damage, too much to be ignored.

"There was this one time I was doing a bit about his virility and he said he could prove me wrong right there if I wanted." You were presently cross legged on an intricate rug (tribute from the Sun King's unfortunate allies), juggling a series of crystal balls (priceless artifacts, stained with blood by the 'divine' conqueror). "So I said 'You should know that I'm a eunuch', and he went, 'It doesn't matter.' We were hilarious."

The Usurper scratches his chin, half listening. It didn't sound hilarious, just weird. "You're sure he didn't bed you?"

"A joke is just a joke, you know."

"Okay. Just checking." Helel paused. "Then are you really a eunuch?"

"Are you gonna check that too?"

"No." You were really getting your money's worth from that previous temporary generalization.

…

After the walls and shelves were bare, and the loot was bundled up in leather bags, the Eclipse sank into one of the plush chairs, kicking his feet onto the table and massaging his temples. With any luck, you were as tired as he was, and he could slip away while you rested.

You yawned. "Ahh. That's enough for one day, I think." Helel watched as you plopped back down on your hideous cushion, procuring a lit pipe from thin air and taking a hefty drag. "Will you be looking for new furnishings?"

"Probably. This stuff is way too tacky."

A wisp of smoke drifts past, and the Morning Star feels that tell-tale foreboding feeling behind his shoulder again. "Will you be looking for new castle staff?" You bat your eyelashes.

He meets your expectant gaze with the exhaustion of someone who just fought another war and lost. "You're staying?"

Deliberately misinterpreting his question as a statement, you perk up, grinning from ear to ear. "Well, I can't refuse a direct order such as that! Especially not from his most esteemed, illustrious (and if I may add, very handsome) Majesty!" Bowing at the waist with a bell-bedecked flourish, you shoot back to eye level with hands clasped, nearly butting him in the head with your stupid hat. "When do I start work?"

...

(jump cut to jester being tossed out of tower window) this is too long to be funny but idc anymore. next time i'll write romance but i needed to fulfill my desire to annoy him

[ilikekidsshows]

Sorry for jumpin your ask box like this. Marinette stans are... a pest to say the least and I wanna rant here because this seems to be like a save space. When I say it here my frustration can't cause trouble for me or anyone else.

I don't care anymore if people say I'm just a stupid salter who hates Marinette, I don't think this show will ever be able to undo the absolute fucking hypocrisy that is Marinette de-transforming and trusting an as good as defeated Gabriel like an absolute damn MORON

When 6 episodes earlier Adrien had to apologize in shame for 'having caused Marinette's disadvantage' against Lila in the class when HE literally still doesn't even know about what happened in the damn bathroom, but Marinette for damn sure KNOWS that Gabriel is an insane and sadistic abuser and terrorist!

And of course Marinette fans are bending over BACKWARDS to talk their way outta acknowledging any kinda truth one could be upset about. Saying that it's not the same cause Marinette is 14 (like Adrien and everyone else, too??!) and is, like, the purest and most wonderful but horrifically abused and misunderstood person who ever existed and that Gabriel not having taken Marinette's generous (empty) offer was totally just Gabriel betraying her pure and angelic heart that tried to do the right thing like the hero she is because 'she's so pure that she was able to see the good in him and wanted to give him another chance 😌'

When, what the hell?? Adrien was and IS being ripped to SHREDS for so much less cause of Chameleon! Just because Marinette couldn't ever confront Lila in a way that goes beyond "point finger and scream and then get upset when that doesn't work for 5 seasons straight"! There is NOTHING anyone can claim that makes the hypocrisy here make sense. Nothing. Didn't she just 'lovingly' patronize Adrien by saying that "sometimes the good we see in other people is only a reflection of our own goodness" and he had to act grateful that she's still able to love him despite his naivety and wrongness?? That was 6 episodes ago! Marinette, where did that energy go now that it's YOU?

Adrien had to 'learn his lesson' in shame and be reprimanded for a good moral advice he couldn't possibly know would backfire because he unknowingly said it about the show's most evil psychopath apparently

But Marinette can seemingly be the most gullible, hypocritical, and illogical moron on the planet, detransforming for no god damn reason in front of the not entirely disarmed and dying mass terrorist, abuser, and magical enslaver who's about to fail and loose everything he ever loved and fought for

But SURE, she totally didn't do Adrien's 'offense' from season 3 just 1000x WORSE, cause, didn't you know? It's ✨Marinette!✨

Her flaws don't matter. In fact, anyone who says she is capable of REAL flaws apparently just mindlessly hates her and strong female characters like her. She can do everything everyone else gets dragged to hell for cuz fuck everyone and everything I guess! Mademoiselle center of the universe might be sad if morality applies to her.

At least if they'd SAY IT that they are okay with pathetic double standards and hypocrisy, but no. Everyone is acting like they're on the moral high-horse by just ignoring everythin that doesn't make Marinette look like the greatest person ever, because it's ✨Marinette✨and we're just mean haters who "don't get it". I sure get that Marinette's fans' and especially STANS' words have lost as good as all validity in my eyes starting with the retooling season 4 because of how incapable of basic self-reflection they seem to be!

btw, I didn't talk to them in this tone. I just wanted to have a conversation with people who say that they think the Marinette and Adrien situations are different and I get nothin but unfiltered hypocrisy and excuses upon excuses! It's just "Adrien was WRONG because Marinette was RIGHT!" with "Marinette was RIGHT but Gabriel was such an awful person to HER that he unfairly punished her pure heart of justice™! 🥺"

Like, get the hell out man. How is any discours supposed to ever exist again after all this??

I apologize again for intruding, I needed to get this off my chest. I still wish you a great day and thanks for providing a place for group therapy 😅

---

Marinette stans love to claim that any consequences for her actions is Marinette being “punished”. They’ve been crying and throwing up about “Marinette getting punished for things that aren't her fault” ever since the original pre-retool series. Even when there's no character to point an accusing finger at, they claim that the writers are punishing her whenever she doesn't get away with something scot free or gets minorly inconvenienced by anything. The idea that Marinette having anything less than a perfect day with every character worshiping her is the same as her getting “punished” has been the basic toxic Marinette stan’s creed for years.

I'm also just going to be really mean: all of Marinette’s good traits that the stans repeat are wildly exaggerated from traits every non-villainous character has. Because, if we take their claims literally, I certainly don't see this “pure heart of justice” and “always helping others” the stans claim she does, because she's too busy moping about or chasing Adrien whenever she's on screen to have the time to help people as much as her stans claim she does. She sometimes helps her friends and family and she saves Akuma victims cause that's her job, but so much more of her life is taken up by worrying about herself.

She's also not strong, physically or mentally. She is not secretly jacked and she has never gotten out of a stressful situation victorious without someone else there to prop her up first. In terms of these things, Marinette is average, “just a normal girl with a normal life”. Marinette isn't weak exactly, but any other “good” member of the cast is the same. She’s not exceptional in these things, but the stans love to claim she’s the greatest, purest, goodest thing that was ever spawned into existence in the world of Miraculous. I know the phrase “strong female character” lost any meaning long ago, but it’s kinda laughable we’re at the point where explicit failures like the season 5 finale are being touted around as signs of strength.

I also agree that the Miraculous fandom just can't handle discourse anymore. Some time ago I saw a post that had someone wondering why there weren't many new analysis posts in the fandom post-season 5 and the reason for that is that the fandom doesn't have space for that kind of analytical thinking anymore. The analysts saw what SentiAdrien would do to the series and, when the fandom exploded into the expected abuse apologia, they left. In addition to that the series can no longer withstand any kind of analytical viewing so the remaining, highly defensive fandom is against questioning what they're watching. You can't enjoy this show if you employ any kind of critical thinking, because the morals the writers elevate are rancid.

Marinette stans have always been like this. I've never been harrassed by Chloé stans and I used to post some very spicy stuff about Chloé. Every time I've been harrassed in this fandom, it was done by Marinette stans. The more toxic Marinette stans have always been the worst part of this fandom and now that the writers are pandering to them, they're really bold about pushing everyone else around.

[pluckyredhead]

Is the ideal superhero story/setting one that you would read even without villains?

I guess by definition yes, because it would be ideal?

I think this depends a lot on what you mean by "villains." I don't necessarily need supervillains in a story, but are we also talking about street crime, organized crime, corrupt cops and politicians, etc? Because I do think you need conflict, and natural disasters only go so far.

I'm not a person who cares all that much about villains, and I think modern superhero comics are way overinvested in supervillains and constantly upping the ante in showing how badass they are and endless pages of nonsense about "look at us, our destinies are intertwined, clowns are the natural enemy of bats" like SHUT UP. If I never read another story with the goddamn Joker in it again it will be too soon. There's also that old chestnut of "superheroes create supervillains" which I find fucking exhausting and contrived as hell. Like just because you dress up as a bat to stop a mugger, it's your fault someone else decides to murder people with riddles? What??? "Don't help anyone, you'll create monsters!" SHUT UP!!!

Street level heroes do particularly well in stories where they're fighting organized crime and corruption; some of the most beloved stories and eras for Batman, Green Arrow, and Daredevil focus on this. (Green Arrow should probably almost never fight supervillains. His villains are so dumb.)

Even Superman - one of my favorite Superman eras ever is the Golden Age, where there were almost no supervillains and the ones he fought were often relatively harmless and it was more about exposing their cons than fighting them (Prankster, Toyman, my beloved J. Wilbur Wolfingham). These stories, again, often focused more on corruption and exploitation - which, crucially, means that Clark Kent has as big of a role to play in the story as Superman. I'm not saying get rid of Lex Luthor and Brainiac (although I think Lex also works best as a corrupt businessman instead of a guy in green and purple armor), but I do think there are many stories that can be told about Superman that don't require supervillains. And I think that requires refocusing on the idea that Superman is not here to fight bad people, he's here to help ordinary people.

But on the other hand...I don't know what the hell you would do with the Flash without supervillains. I just don't see how anything else would challenge him. "The Flash exposes a corrupt politician" just doesn't work for me unless said corrupt politician has hired Captain Cold for protection or something, I don't know why.

So I'm not saying get rid of supervillains, because they have their place. But I think the current emphasis on them is unnecessary, and overemphasizes the importance of, like, punitive and retributive justice and heavily militarized policing. There are not bogeymen in our streets in wacky costumes murdering dozens with freeze guns or whatever, but there is widespread and systemic corruption and abuse in business, politics, and law enforcement, so if we're going to have inspirational stories about defeating evil, I know where I think the emphasis should be. Superhero comics don't always have to be drawn from life and I enjoy a silly story where the Flash fights the Rainbow Raider as much as anyone else, but I think every so often it would be helpful for writers to take a step back and think "Hmm, what is this hero actually fighting and why?"

[gravidwithlore]

A human in their early 20's, raised from birth to be a Hero, sets out on their first journey, tasked with putting together his first adventuring party. His family has high hopes for him, but he's never wanted to be a hero. Free from his families constant pressure and able to make his own choices for the first time in his life, all he wants to do is spread his legs and sleep around every city, town, and village he wanders through. He quickly begins to collect admirers and lovers across the land, as he has the time of his life being the carefree little slut he knows in his heart he was always meant to be.

Until, one day he gets kidnapped and held prisoner by the BBEG because of a new prophecy that states our young "hero" would end their evil reign. Once he meets the young man, the curve of his belly is unmistakable. The BBEG assumes the prophecy means that the child growing in his belly will grow to defeat him, and plans to keep the "hero" hostage until he gives birth, then raise the child as his own evil heir to try and prevent the prophecy coming true.

Little do they know an adventuring party made up of our slutty little "hero's" baby daddies are on their way to kick their ass and set him free.

I was gonna put this in the tags but then decided to just put it under a read more:

-The guys name is Hiro because that'd be so fucking funny bc despite his entire life revolving around becoming a true (traditional) hero, he is absolutely NOT that at all

-He's not even mad about the kidnapping, I dont think he even realizes he's been kidnapped. He's like 'oh you wanna adopt my baby? Thats cool I don't think I'm ready to be a parent yet anyway. Oh, AND I get to stay in your sick-ass mansion the entire time??? Hell yeah dude you're the best!" And the BBEG is like 'what the hell kind of mind game is this?????'

-Hiro keeps trying to seduce the BBEG bc his libido was crazy before, but with the pregnancy hormones it's off the charts. But, the BBEG thinks the seduction is a ploy to trick him into letting his guard down so he can betray them later. Despite how much his body wants to give in he always rebuffs Hiro, but its getting harder and harder to resist his advances. Hiro barely notices the BBEG white knuckling his way through yet another attempt at seduction, then shrugs and tries to seduce one of the BBEGs minions. But word spreads quickly and soon all of them are fighting every nerve in their body to resist Hiro's advances bc theyre so scared of their boss and how he might react if they found out.

-The adventuring party is on a grueling fantasy quest to save him, but Hiro is living out his Beauty and the Beast fantasy except instead of a woman who reads and a man cursed to live as a beast, its a slutty knocked up himbo and an evil murderous tyrant. The more the BBEG rebuffs his advances the more intrigued by him Hiro becomes, and the time they spend with Hiro they find themselves wanting to be a better person for the sake of this sweet horny himbo.

- They are so far off from being on the same wavelength, the BBEG is living out an epic romance novel about the hero's love and affection transforming them into something redeemable, possibly, someday, bordering on good. Meanwhile Hiro's like 'why doesn't this guy wanna fuck me? Huh, what an interesting person, I sort of wanna know more about him other than just how good they can lay that pipe, if ya know what I'm saying, although, if they're ever down I am always down to clown.' All the BBEG minions are watching the romantic tension develop and thicken, their collective blood pressure has never been so high.

-And I haven't even mentioned how gently and reverently the BBEG carasses Hiro's baby bump. The first time the baby kicks, Hiro runs to find the BBEG so he can bring their hand to feel, and the Big Bad evildoer almost bursts into tears.

- At first the plan to steal the baby and raise it as their own (to be evil of course, every true hero's worst nightmare!) was just out of desperation to avoid the prophecy, but they begin to find themselves really warming up to the idea of being a parent, of maybe even having a family. With Hiro? No, of course not what a silly little daydream, the hero never falls for the villain! How could they ever think Hiro of all people could love someone like them!

- Around this time Hiro really discovers that being pregnant? Sorta hot actually. Sorta really hot actually. He didn't plan on having kids really, but then again he hadn't known before how good being so full and round with life would feel. He knows that this kind rich guy offered to adopt his baby then go their separate ways, but they're really cool actually and nice to be around, and Hiro wants to stick around. Maybe eventually they would want some siblings for the first kid? Hiro wouldn't mind being asked to give them. He definitely wouldn't mind being asked over and over again. And if the kind man asked if he wanted to stay to help raise their kids and watch them grow up, then Hiro probably wouldn't say no. The more he thinks about it, the more he'd be likely to say yes, actually. Yes, please. Yes, please, ask him to stay! Ask him to stay forever and ever!

- Eventually they confess to each other. Hiro never seems to realize that the BBEG ever had evil intentions, even when explicitly told that was the case, but the BBEG eventually catches on to Hiro's wavelength and it makes them love the adorable idiot even more. All the minions are relieved the romantic tension is gone, but now they're stressed about the drastically increased possibility of running into Hiro and their boss fucking like rabbits no matter where they go in the giant labyrinth of a castle they work (and live) in. Nowhere is safe, but at least their boss is happy???

- Eventually the adventuring party of baby daddies shows up. Hiro is like 'oh geez, my past one night stands/exes are here, thats so awkward, oh shit what if one of them is the bio dad to this baby???' And BBEG is like 'omg, I've changed, im changing, i swear ill do better, he's free to do as he pleases and I'm in love with him, I guess the prophecy came true bc I fell head over heels for him, and all my evil plans are ruined bc all i want is to make him happy, I'm a new person on a new path, please don't fight me, I swear it's true!' And the party is exhausted and worn down and just so very confused (they also may not have known Hiro was even pregnant and that they're all potential fathers, they just all cared about Hiro's safety).

-Cue a shaky truce between the now morally gray BBEG and the rest of the world, while Hiro is living his own happily ever after with his hot rich bf who keeps him (and his kids) well taken care of and as knocked up as he could ever want.

[shuttershocky]

have you thought about final fantasy 7 rebirth since you finished it?

Oh yeah I certainly have!

Huge turnaround from 7Remake where I finished it and went "Alrighty it wasn't great but it was still FF7" and then I got more and more sore about it and realized I really didn't like what I played, to the point where I had no interest in 7Rebirth until the demo came out and I saw how improved it felt.

7Remake kept actively introducing new bullshit that sucked like a fairly hefty loading screen every 5 minutes of walking (that's why you had to keep squeezing yourself through narrow gaps) or getting pinballed around by 20 tiny guys attacking you from behind while you all move like glaciers.

On the other hand, most of the annoying flaws of 7Rebirth come from it actually being more like FF7. Tons of minigames that keep breaking the flow of the main game, a new character every ten minutes, being stuck inside the Gold Saucer forever, all stuff I made peace with years ago.

That distinction between the kinds of flaws they have is important to me, because I thought 7Remake was at its strongest when it was physically being the experience of FF7 that existed in your imagination/memories.

The Shinra building is a great example. You take the stairs again in 7Remake because it's funny, and you see Tifa easily jogging up the steps while Barret and even Cloud start fucking dying. She has to encourage the guys to keep pace with her, Cloud is silently wondering how the hell is she fitter than a SOLDIER, and Barret almost loses hope when they're two floors away. It's just like how you remembered it as a kid, which is good AND slightly different from what the original actually was, because in the original FF7 Tifa calls Barret a slur when she tells him to shut up and climb.

7Rebirth is a game that realizes that particular strength of 7Remake, where you don't have to be faithful to the original's events, but to its spirit. Yuffie for example was encountered outside of Junon and was missable, so she didn't have too much of a character beyond getting motion sickness and stealing materia. Her role AND character is greatly expounded on in 7Rebirth, where she encounters Avalanche repeatedly after Junon and instead begs to join them after realizing they're the best chance Wutai has at defeating Shinra, while becoming something of a bratty little sister to Cloud and even like a (very annoying) second daughter to Barret, since she's the only one in the group as hardcore anti-Shinra as Barret is.

It doesn't feel like they're being mixing things up for the sake of being new, but rather "this is how much more we could have done with Yuffie". She'll do the same spinning victory animation as the original, still vomits within 5 minutes of getting into any kind of vehicle, but now she loudly argues with Aerith "Shinra are not the real enemy!" Gainsborough, saying the same things Barret tells Tifa in 7Remake about the problem of good people working under evil masters, in her own, less mature and less eloquent Yuffie way.

They do this with everybody in the cast (barring Sephiroth, as it's becoming more clear after 7Remake that Sephiroth is in some time loop shenanigans where he's already been through FF7 once and thus he's real different) where 7Rebirth rethinks and rebuilds the cast's quirks, traits, and relationships with each other and with the world in ways that just make sense. Cid's not the same tough grouch when you meet him that he was in the original, but why would he be? You don't go to Rocket town yet in 7Rebirth, you meet Cid when he's still pulling his best customer service face! But when Barret mentions how their group aren't friends with anybody that works with Shinra (Chadley's a double agent it doesn't count), Cid easily, verbally, pushes him back in a way that lets you know Cid the leader from the original is still in there.

7Rebirth's just great, I liked it very much. Probably the best title the PS5 has got to offer, and I'm counting all the PS4 games ported to the PS5 in there just so it's got to deal with actual competition. The locations and characters are so alive and vivid, and even the most mind-numbing chores in the game are just so different from each other (there's a fucking minigame for picking mushrooms rather than just letting you press A to snatch some) that you really can't say Square didn't give their 110% in making Gaia an interactive place, even if the only minigame I really enjoyed was Queen's Blood.

Oh and the combat kicks so much ass. The best, maybe the only truly great ARPG battle system Square has made since Kingdom Hearts. That's a very important factor in considering how much I loved 7Rebirth compared to 7Remake, but I've talked too much about it already.

[atthebell]

the problem with trying to fix the why of the eggs disappearing is that no one knew the answer to that until they came up with the dumbass solution that they did in canon so there's like literally nothing to go off of. and i think them fleeing from something makes like no sense because adding another big bad muddies the waters so bad.

we already have the federation and then the codes, and clearly defeating the federation and escaping the island is the big goal for the very end of the entire series/server. so it doesn't really work for them to get a complete victory over that villain anytime soon within this timeline.

and the codes kind of wore out their welcome as villains, both because they kept pissing people off (me) and because the players were just too determined to prevent them from hurting the eggs. so i guess your solution there is the one they went with-- the codes decide to ally themselves with the islanders. except the level of their sentience and intelligence is kind of unknown, and frankly the way the whole code alliance resistance thing turned out sucked really bad (the order already existed!!! why not have the codes find out about it instead of acting like they're the only organized force fighting the federation on the island). idk how i would fix this aside from the islanders finding whatever network the codes were built on/running on and destroying it. which would be cool i feel like they (especially max) didn't get to do enough computer stuff. maybe max realizing that to shut down the codes he would also have to shut down sofia, and him making that sacrifice for the eggs that are still alive despite how much he love sofia as his child. idfk let max have more shit going on instead of fucking him over.

but anyway back to the issue of "why the hell are the eggs gone" i think you could introduce a small villain a la a season villain/level boss but it would have to be very clear what that villain's motivations were. maybe bring elq back for that but then kill him off for the love of gd sorry elq enjoyers he's just so lame. but anyway the federation fired him after the elections and he's gone off on his own to be a little evil bastard and he's holding a grudge about everything so he kidnaps the eggs (in a way that's actually believable, perhaps with a competent ally) and then they all have to go and find him and get the kids back. and he can do all his freak monologuing like he did at purgatory but it's less lame this time because it makes more sense.

or you can do like whatever if someone else wants to play a villain they can show up and play a villain or it can be some nebulous new entity but still not powerful enough that the islanders can't beat it within a short-ish timespan (thinking less than two weeks, and they get to see the eggs during this time, it's just that they're not quite safe yet). and you can do it in some new location if you want BUT NOT FUCKING PURGATORY and anything like purgatory (as in competitive event) should be optional and NOT FUCKING TIED TO LORE HOLY SHIT

anyway all this to say i don't actually have a solution for this i just wish it had not gone the way that it did

[bthump]

hey there!! just wanted to kinda ask more about your take on the haters of griffith's entire reasoning is because of what he did to casca. do you think that is really a valid reason to completely fucking hate him lol? i personally love griffith and i do understand why he did it (i'm NOT justifying SA) due to his complete hatred of guts post defeat & capture. i do also definitely think he is evil as well but would love to hear your take on it a little more.

To be perfectly honest I think just about any reason to hate a fictional character is valid lol so yeah. If people hated him for, idk, wearing a colour they don't like in an official promo I'd consider that valid. And yeah I think raping another character is a fair enough reason for someone to hate a fictional dude.

What I think is less valid is the way a lot of fans express that hate (eg homophobic remarks, harassment towards other fans who don't hate Griffith), or try to justify it further through bad "analysis" of the story, such as asserting that Griffith was always evil and never loved anyone and only wanted to control Guts and Casca etc etc. Like it's okay to hate a fictional character but I wish people could be chill about it lol, and like, recognize that it's fiction and they're getting mad at a drawing.

Anyway, that said, my take on Griffith probably differs a little from yours. eg I don't think he completely hated Guts after Guts defeated him and he was tortured for a year, and in fact I think Griffith sacrificed Guts because he didn't hate him, because even after all that he still loved him and that love had fucked up his life and his dream and ruined everything. So he felt he had to cut Griffith out of him, essentially.

Though as Femto it seems that the negative feelings were given power and by far outweighed the positive feelings. That seems to be part of what makes apostles and godhands monsters in this story. So yeah I definitely think that's at least part of the motivation for the rape scene.

I've been asked a lot about why Griffith/Femto raped Casca so I'll link you to this collection of posts I've written about it, if you're interested!

As for Griffith being evil, you can definitely make a case for Femto, since he's a demon, and NeoGriffith is a wildcard right now, but human Griffith is, imo, probably the most "moral" person in the story, which is a big part of what makes his arc and the sacrifice climax so effective imo. I have a few posts about that if you're interested, here's a link to one that has links to a couple others as well. To me it's vital to the themes of the story that Griffith is not evil as a human, and that his goals and motivations are sympathetic and even admirable. He's a perfect example of the duality of humanity that Berserk loves to delve into, and it's a great "the road to hell is paved with good intentions" style narrative imo.

Thanks for the ask!

[risingshards]

Sting's final match was so so SO perfect. For the guy who'd always lose when asked and got booked to be such a goober over his career and got such a shitshow wwe run...to see that guy get such a triumphant good defeats evil close to his career, to see him get an undefeated streak in aew....ugh. It's wondeful.

Sting is a wrestler that's really important to me. I didn't watch in like peak 90s wrestling times, but I remember when my brother made a CAW of Sting in HCTP that my 10 year old self was like "that is the coolest wrestler ever." and it took until TNA in january 2006 when he debuted on final resolution, the first wrestling ppv I ever convinced my family to order teaming with my all time #1 wrestler Christian Cage (ty to christian for being genuinely such a nice person to me) for me to be like "oh my god stings fucking awesome?!?!"

In 2014 I had a really shitty life situation. and it fucked me up and I was rocked completely and lost. And I retreated to my partner's house at the time and wrapped myself up in blankets and put on survivor series and sting showed up in wwe. and in all the maelstrom of my life i got to escape for a second and be like. "ok. sting is here. things will be okay. justice will be served." and that was incredibly comforting to me. sting's wwe run endied up being fucking terrible and like my thirtieth "oh god wwe sucks and is horrific for my mental wellbeing" thing. but that debut pulled me away from the bad times.

flash forward to 2020. and the shitty life situation repeated itself like shot for shot. i was lost again. and wouldn't you know it, sting debuts in aew like a day after it happened. and i got to escape again. justice would be served. the good guys win in the end. thankfully, sting's aew run would be so much better than the wwe one and was so so perfect.

so today's very emotional for me. a maybe childish (?) part of me is like "if that thing happens again what do we do if sting doesnt show up and make it feel alright?" but the way sting got to defeat the bad guys one more time, to fight against evil (against the young bucks who were deliciously perfect villains for sting and darby) and to WIN, to not go out like old yeller like every other wrestler retirement angle, is so important to me. sting go to be a fucking real life superhero fighting against evil in the wacky unreal world of wrestling, and helped me through the bullshit, and makes me want to keep fighting in spite of everything. wrestling is silly and weird and seen as fucking stupid bullshit to many who don't watch, but fucking hell I dunno if i'd be here without it, and without people like sting being those kinds of heroes who make the fight worth it. so thank you sting, for everything.

[little-laurance]

I NEED an au where Gene ends up cast out by Shad somewhere in the nether, and Laurance (very reluctantly) takes him in for whatever reason, and they fucking hate each other and Gene tries to go back to Shad a millions times and it never works so he resolves to be on his own and he has this flirtatious relationship with Laurance but they still hate each other but they end up helping each more times than they should and shit maybe they don't hate each other and Laurance starts getting all weird around Gene and Gene tries to ignore it but smth is going on and maybe there's smth else going on here and they kiss and omg Gene wasn't supposed to do that he's a shadow knight he doesn't feel anything he can't have these emotions and fuck fuck why what is happening and Laurance is like omg wtf is wrong with me that's Dante's evil older brother but also Laurance is evil at this point (in his head) so to hell with it whatever and they continue their weird not-romance thing and defeat Shad or whatever and maybe they're happy or smth