i don’t recognize my reflection like i used to.
the mirage of me has always been difficult to grasp. i touch my cheek, she touches hers; i say my name, olivia, olivia, she mouths it back, chapped lips, calloused hands, the crease in my brow deepening each day.
maybe it’s something we were never meant to understand. mankind first recognized itself in water, the murky mirror cupped from hand to mouth. but glass is different, clear. a portal to something— to someone— forever in reach but unattainable all the same.
i huff a chuckle through my nose at a joke that isn’t funny. there’s something i recognize, at least: fragments and pieces scattered from one universe to another of me, of peter, of all we know. a part of me wishes i didn’t; another is glad i do. neither thought is comforting.
the knock of wood against tile breaks me from my stupor, the door swinging open so the warmth of the bar drifts in. my hand is clammy against the bathroom sink; i sniff, shaking out my palm before running it under the faucet, pressing my cool fingertips to my neck with a shifted smile towards the other. i try to ignore my reflection turning from the corner of my eye.
❝ sorry, i-i’m fine, it’s just— it’s a little hot out there, don’t y’ think? ❞ a laugh more resembling a warble slips by; it’s one they’ll recognize if i’m not careful. i stifle it back with a clear of my throat, chin dipping down, my arms folding into one another as i shift on a hip. ❝ i just needed a second to… clear my head, come down from everything. ❞
open.
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Rosary
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— v. raison d'être
It was never going to last.
They knew it from the beginning, all of them. Their time in the First was temporary, fleeting. For some, that would have been enough to give pause, to keep distance. For them, it made these moments all the more precious—even when it was difficult, even when it was unfair.
Ryne knows they are both proud of her. That will never change, even when they live in separate worlds. It is a bittersweet thing to say goodbye, to close one chapter and begin the next. But change is necessary, a fundamental aspect of life. There is no sense in clinging to the past when the future—with all its countless possibilities—lies ahead.
There is no looking back. Only forwards.
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