#donna Berzatto is ceres

[unladyboss]

No ACCIDENT

It's no accident that this shot looks so ghostly

[coachbeards]

thinking about how natalie most likely would’ve gone into the restaurant business with mikey and carmy if she had been properly nurtured and welcome into the kitchen :(((

[whenmemorydies]

I’m thinking about Richie’s apology to Nat in 2x09 Bolognese when he says,

I think for a long time, I didn’t really know where I fit, you know, and I would shove myself into, like, places and things where I definitely did not fit. And I think that that probably, definitely, made things worse. And I’m sorry if I took anything out on you and if I treated you like shit.

In the same episode, Richie and Sydney acknowledge that they’re both only children and Sydney tells Richie that it’s nice he had Carmy and Nat. Richie tells Syd that now she does too. It’s a sweet moment between them and reminded me how belonging has driven so much of Richie’s actions in this show.

Just a theory but I think Richie and Natalie dated, probably briefly and probably when they were much younger. It didn’t end well and that’s contributed to Natalie’s long-running anger at him for most of the first two seasons of the show. (Nat’s also probably angry at him cos Richie is Richie: what I imagine happens when a proto-incel, QAnon, 4chan, Snyder-cut motherfucker somehow manages to be in romantic relationships despite his personality lol.)

It would also explain Richie’s (and maybe Mikey’s and Carmy’s) antagonism towards Pete. I can’t understand why those guys hate on that angel of a man so much otherwise. I reckon Richie resents Pete because he couldn’t be more different to Richie and the men in the Berzatto house, but also because Natalie chose him. It probably felt like a rejection not just of Richie as her ex but of her family too. Confirmation of a truth sitting under the surface they don’t want to excavate: that the Berzatto home often feels like a trap and that their codependence is toxic. And that Natalie got out but they’re still stuck, quicksand gripping their calves and keeping them in place.

I can see a young Richie crushing on his best friend’s sister cos she’s straightforwardly pretty and he’s not complicated in that department…Sugar talks back to Mikey and he loves seeing her eyes flash when she does. Sometimes he teases her just to have some of it directed at him. He name drops Denis Savard at her, lets her know that he got that Ceres pamphlet from behind the bar, cos he has connections like that. He’s also seen her recoil when Donna’s on one and laying into her and it makes him feel a type of way, wanting to protect her maybe. But mostly, if he can be with Sug, he’d become a Berzatto. He’d stop being Cousin cos he’d be Brother instead.

[eroticwound]

I love your thoughts on The Bear. Particularly the Berzatto siblings. I was wondering if you could talk about Mikey. And possibly his relationship with Richie. Outside of the internet when I talk to peers about the show people are quick to demonize or dislike Mikey. They cite his behavior with Lee and his taking part in ganging up on Carmy with Donna as reasons why. Also, how Richie was so desperate to get away from the beef.

I would love to hear your opinion about how this could be someone’s impression of Mikey. And how you would describe Mikey to someone who maybe isn’t seeing the whole picture? Or just how you would describe Mikey as a person in general.

And do you think his relationship with Richie was very one sided? Do you think it was always Mikey in the lead? I’ve read some fic that truly makes Mikey terrible to Richie.

Hi anon. Thanks for this incredibly thought out ask. Cannot emphasize enough how much I enjoy getting questions like this :)

Michael Berzatto is a complicated guy and he’s a guy we don’t get a lot of screen time with. That’s by design. He’s the character haunting this narrative. Mikey is the Laura Palmer of The Bear (I have that disease where I see everything through the prism of Twin Peaks), and as such we get to know him mostly through people’s grief. Through their imperfect memories. We’re left missing him just as much as any other character. And while I would love a feature length movie showing Mikey’s last days a la Fire Walk with Me, I very much doubt we will get that. So we’re left to figure out this complicated character with scraps.

For these reasons, I do get why people don't understand Mikey. As you mention, they are literally not given anything close to a whole picture. In fact the screen time we have most with him is during Fishes, when he is quite literally at his worst. If people only saw scenes where Carmen was yelling at people in the kitchen or where Richie was being sexist to Syd, I'm sure they'd have a poor opinion of them as well (in fact, being in this fandom after the first season, I can confirm that most of tumblr disliked Richie).

The healthiest we see Michael is in the Ceres flashback in season 1. He’s exactly how everyone describes him: loud, brash, funny. Both Carmy and Richie are just having the best time, completely immersed in the story he's telling. Even Nat’s having a great time, though both brothers stop her from adding raisins, which is Donna’s recipe for the dish they're making (side note, I find it so interesting that Nat is the one trying to follow their mom’s recipe. She's still trying to please Donna, to garner favor, whereas the boys, who Donna relies on in the kitchen and emotionally, feel fine deviating from Donna’s recipe). Even beyond the Ceres flashback, we do get flashes of what makes Mikey great in Fishes: the opening is him checking in on Natalie, he's really sweet and engaging with Carmen in the pantry, and even though Carmy doesn't take Mikey and Richie trying to set him up with Claire well, it's still proof that Mikey cares.

The thing is Mikey is mentally ill, like Donna and like Carmen. He’s dealing with some sort of chemical imbalance (depression or bipolar) on top of the severe parentification he got from Donna. I talk about it at length in my unfinished series delving into the partentification of the Berzatto siblings. As I point out in those posts, Mikey is actually the sibling getting the worst of the parentification, which is a form of abuse where there is a role-reversal between parent and child. Nat can't morph herself easily to accommodate Donna's dysfunction (she un-normalizes it), so she gets Donna's ire instead. Carmen was also parentified, especially when Mikey was out of the house growing up (they have such an age gap), but Mikey was the oldest. He has high EQ and can morph himself to accommodate Donna's dysfunction. It has in fact shaped him into the person he is. Which is someone who is trying to avoid all of the bad: bad outbursts from Donna, bad feelings from his siblings, bad reactions from outsiders to their family dynamic. He's also trying very hard to avoid the bad emotions he's feeling. Michael is looking to avoid all of this through any means necessary, which includes using alcohol and drugs. As I mention in that parentification meta series, using substances is quite literally the only way he's managing his distress.

I want to talk about each point you mention people citing as to why they don't like Michael. But first, I want to preface it by pointing out that Michael has been forced to move back in with Donna. His failed business ventures and poor mental health have forced him back into this scenario that is NOT GOOD FOR HIM. That scene where Cousin Michelle says to Carm that it's not good for him to be in this environment? Well, it's not good for any of the Berzatto siblings. And throughout the episode, you can tell how exhausted Mikey is by it. By having to fulfill his role as Donna's pseudo-partner.

So let's start with Michael and Donna ganging up on Carmen in the kitchen. When Donna and Mikey do this they are functioning as a parental unit. This is the perfect example of Mikey's parentification at work, of Michael acting as Donna's partner. It's what he's been trained to do to maintain the delicate ecosystem of that house. Donna's emotional state is given top priority. Everyone else's emotions fall to the wayside in light of what she's feeling, otherwise you get fallout like her crashing her car into the house. Mikey talks to Nat about this at the start of the episode:

What do you think she's at right now? A 4? A 5? She's not at a 6.

The siblings literally have a rating system for Donna's moods. They're all trying to avoid escalation above all else. Michael in particular. So in that scene with Carm in the kitchen, Mikey is trying to keep things from escalating. This is something Carmen knows too—hell, it's the first thing Carmen asks Mikey to do in Fishes:

Hey Mikey can you come inside and be you for a little bit, I don't know how to deal with these people.

Carmy needs Michael to come fill his role of buffer between guests and their family. Carmy, notably, gets Donna duty—a role I'm sure Mikey filled before Carmen came along. I say this based on Donna calling Carmen "Michael" when he's trying to coax her to the dinner table at the end of the episode. She's implying talking to her like this is what Michael does. When the people you know irl cite this moment, unfortunately this is the rebuttal: this is Mikey's role. Donna needs his emotional support. Otherwise she'd be more abusive towards Nat and Carm. Michael is doing it for the greater good.

As for Lee, that's another great example of soooo much being implied. Lee, along with Cicero, were best friends with their father, and it is heavily implied that Lee and Donna had a fling or two after their dad fucks off (whether Mr. Berzatto is dead or a deadbeat, who’s to say?). When Lee is helping Donna clean shit off the floor, Mikey grabs a beer from the fridge and asks if they are "doing this again." Basically, Lee and Donna have been romantic before. This means Lee would have been around erratically growing up. And it's clear Michael and Lee have a historic antagonism because of this. Lee's first interaction with Michael in the episode has him threatening to "lay [Michael] out." This screams to me that Lee stepped into the man of the house role, and that Mikey and him had altercations that got physically violent. That's why Mikey says at the dinner table, "I can throw forks cuz this is my father's house." That feels very much like something a kid would say to a man who is trying to replace a missing father. And it's especially heated, because it is Michael who has had to consistently step into the man of the house role for Donna and for his siblings! Michael couldn't leave like Lee when Donna and him broke up. Living with Donna and keeping his siblings ok is daily life for Michael.

So all through the episode, Lee is poking a bear (Mikey Bear to be exact). Lee calls him out about telling the same old stories, embarrasses him in front of everyone by revealing he's borrowed money from Cicero and had to move back in with Donna. Lee has been explicitly disrespecting him. And maybe if Mikey was in a better place, he would have been able to roll with it, but as I mentioned before, Mikey is not in a good place. He's depressed, he's been drinking and taking something (pain pills?) to manage the stress he's under. Him throwing forks is not a lucid reaction. Frankly, if people don't also blame Lee for that outburst, then they really weren't paying attention during the episode.

Finally, onto the Richie portion of your question. Richie’s family is something I would *love* to get more canon info about. All we know is that he's not Italian but Polish, his home life wasn’t great, his dad sucked, and Donna allowed him over so often that he’s practically her fourth child.

Richie and Michael grew up together. They're best friends, practically family. It's why Richie is "cousin." Michael's relationship with Richie is his closest relationship. Everyone says Mikey was their best friend, but Mikey's actual best friend was Richie. Period. And there's some complicated jealousy between Carmen and Richie because of what each is to Michael: Carmy's jealous of Richie and Michael's genuine closeness, and Richie is jealous that Mikey has special regard for Carmen as his actual brother. You see this jealousy in the very first episode of the show during that first walk-in fight: Richie was there for Mikey, buried Mikey and took care of Donna, and yet Mikey left the restaurant to Carmen. Left the money in cans for Carmen, so he could fulfill their dream restaurant together. There's honestly some great fic out there that goes into this jealousy. I'll come back to link it if I can find it.

Bottom line is that Richie was the closest person in Mikey's life. They have the same humor, the same life experiences. They had each other's backs. So when you ask if Richie and Michael's relationship was one-sided, I'm going to answer with a resounding no. They're literally besties. It's just by Fishes, Michael has deteriorated. His depression and drug abuse and failures have shrunk his life. Just compare where they're both at: Michael's moved back in with his mom, is single, and is telling the same old stories from their youth. Richie, on the other hand, might have anxiety (the xanax from Dogs <3), but he's in a stable and loving relationship and has a child on the way. That's why Richie asks Cicero for a job—not to get away from Mikey, but to make more money for his expanding family. And yes, he wants to amount to something more than working at a sandwich shop, but hell, so does Mikey. Neither of them want that for the rest of their lives. It's why Michael tried other business ventures. They fail, so he's stuck at The Beef. But it's a weight around his neck bringing him down. He says as much to Carmen when they're in the pantry:

Yeah but the place is no good, Carmy. It's a fucking nightmare. Like trust me I'm doing you a favor.

He even tries to set it on fire for the insurance money! Only Carmen sees the potential.

As for whether it was always Mikey taking the lead, I do think there's some merit to that. Mikey is talked about as more charming than Richie. You see it in Ceres when the edit compares Mikey telling the Bill Murray story to Richie telling the Bill Murray story to his date. Mikey is loud and funny and can "dial a room." Richie can too, but I think Mikey has more finesse. Still, they rely on each other. They back each other up. Michael would hook people with the stories, and Richie would embellish and inject at the right points or reel Mikey in when needed. They supported each other and worked together. I think any fic you might be reading that's demonizing Michael isn't accurate to his character and is actually falling into a pretty common fic trope: if the focus is Character A, then a fic author will cast Character B as the villain in order to serve whatever they're writing, twisting and embellishing the traits of Character B until they’re barely recognizable. Could Mikey be dismissive and hard to contain? Sure, but I don't think that means he didn't love Richie, or was undemonstrative with his affections. Even when Michael was out of it on drugs, they still had a very close relationship—Richie says so. In fact, everything Richie says about Michael supports this. I see zero support in canon for their relationship being one-sided. I'll say it again, they loved each other.

So this is how I would describe Mikey: loud, funny, obnoxious. He could dial a room. He cared deeply for his family, friends, and employees. He suffered parentification and has some sort of chemical imbalance. In fact, because he was charming and loud and funny, people could ignore his deterioration. Even Richie says, "he was Mikey Bear! I thought he'd come out of it," because he was able to come out of it up to that point. But after decades of not treating the problem, the only solution Michael could see was killing himself. He's a complicated character. He's a tragic character. He's the Laura Palmer of The Bear.

[november-rising]

The Bear: Season One, Episode Six - Ceres (opening scene)

Last Train Home continues to play on repeat in my mind. It's worth it as it's led me to an episode I didn't pay much attention to outside of this opening scene.

It all begins with Mikey, Ritchie, Nat, and Carm cooking. Mikey is executing the Berzatto Sunday recipe with such ease. It's lovely watching the Berzattos (+ one Jerimovich) packed together, calm, listening and taking time to be with one another.

Mikey is telling such a tale that winds and weaves. With all of my observations. With all of my notes and what I will share. No matter what- it should be noted that his ability to story tell is captivating.

I remember watching this the first time and being enthralled. There's no other term for it. As he speaks, I thought that he can remind anyone that there are simpler times all the while coloring life just enough for it to seem fanciful if you just try - just reach a little more for it. Mikey is providing amusement, entertainment and fun. Mickey knows how to tell without saying anything.

Michael Berzatto was the bond that made the family stay together.

He is doing his thing, talking, laughing, engaging everyone. And he brings up the Ceres statue. The mythos of Ceres is briefly recapped by Mikey. Who Ceres was isn’t important. What’s key is Mikey sharing a moment in his life that is without strife and hardship (Yes, I know he was high but it sounds like a "happy" high story as opposed to some horrors I'm sure the family doesn't mention ever again). He's connecting the history of their hometown with his life. Truly, that in and of itself, is otherworldly.

I believe that anything his shares tends to be cherished with these folks. I say this because, even though everyone knows he uses, Mikey holds many secrets. He probably doesn’t show too much of himself for a plethora of reasons which I could write about endlessly for days. (And I may one day...)

So, during this Sunday dinner prep, Mickey is being Mickey. He’s attentive and as bright as they know him to be before addiction took hold of him. Everyone is savoring this moment. Because, who knows when he’ll be this lucid or sober again?

*Side note: It’s interesting that Mickey knows the bars “traders” (Wall Street traders I assume) frequent. I wonder how that played out in his life. The company created and connected to the tomato cans, perhaps...?*

Someone who tends to be pushed to the side is Nat. I noticed her, particularly when she responds to Mikey with:

“You and your fucking stories."

She sees. She knows. She also feels left out.

She’s stuck at the sink while the older men are reminiscing about some bullshit and Carmy is drinking it all in.

Mickey taunts Nat, saying she could have come with (Mikey and Richie to wherever) to which she says she wouldn’t. I believe her. She’s been the one to keep Donna at bay. She’s been the caretaker. She is the quintessential parentified child. Sugar knows better than to spend time with Mikey and Richie. 

This is the family:

Mikey setting up adventures.

Ritchie co-signing, hanging out on the sidelines.

Sugar cleaning the mess everyone is making.

And Carmy, looking in awe at his big brother - his savior. Carmen is shown waiting to be utilized and jumps that the chance when told. 

Michael: "Hey Carmy, do some parm."

Carmen: "Yeah, I got you. I got you."

To bring this back to the Ceres statue story, it's about something built in the name of being the pinnacle of design based in the classics. That statue was commissioned to be a landmark and a wonderment. But, as time marches on, life evolves and grows. The city around it grew and achieved taller architectural designs/building.

Ceres is stone carved with no face. It has no lasting identity other than history. Same as Ceres. She’s history. 

Same as Mikey.

Everyone around him grew. His façade was exposed to be blank, nothing, masking such history, pain, strife and togetherness just like Ceres.

Mikey only has the past.

And then there's the final puzzle piece from a different box that is Richie. The overall understanding within me, as I watch Richie share that his outgoing VM message as Goddess of Agriculture, is that he’s the historian of the family/friend group. That was his purpose before it all went to hell with Bear on that bridge.

All-in-all, we see Natalie and Carmen smiling, making the kitchen home. Michael and Richard providing the accents and anecdotal purpose. 

An absolutely beautiful moment.

[unladyboss]

CARMY'S TATTOO 773 OR 223: DREAMS AGAIN

Mikey's Death Notice : DANIEL 2:26 OR 6:22

I always thought that Carmy's tattoo said 223, using upsidedown 2, or mirror image 2s.

Untill everyone said it was 773, which I know is the area code, but there's a reason theyake the numbers look so weird

Then when I saw Mikeys announcement brochure I realized the numbers could look distorted so I looked up Daniel 2:23 and it said

"I thank and praise you, God of my ancestors: You have given me wisdom and power, you have made known to me what we asked of you, you have made known to us the dream of the king.”

It all refers to a DREAM.

Just like the numbers next to the announcement 2:26 when I looked up Daniel 2:26 it said

The king asked Daniel (also called Belteshazzar), “Are you able to tell me what I saw in my dream and interpret it?”

In a dream numbers get turned around and distorted.

Things seem strange and out of place

Things disappear and memories come back in unexpected flashes

It just keeps confirming that the Bear scenarios are happening in someone's mind.

I just don't know for sure who that person is.

Here's another recent DREAM POST

[unladyboss]

ONE OF THE BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS OF THE FISHES EPISODE

During the fork throwing scene after Donna storms off, everyone is shouting

Mikey gave a massive throw which I love him for

But listen to Mikey all the way through. Just focus on his voice

Slow the audio down.

Or if you can, just run it through a voice isolating app.

If I really heard what I think I heard him say about Lee, it's horrific AF.

And I think Richie heard and probably knew from before

I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think so

[unladyboss]

DONNA BERZATTO AND NATALIE BERZATTO AT SKOKIE HOSPITAL

The way Donna ran up to Nat stressed me out

First of all where is Pete?

Did she call Donna?

Is this season 4?

Can Donna relax for once?!!!!

Ma'am please!!!!

[unladyboss]

PERCEPTION AND MEMORIES IN THE BEAR

Just a small hunch that everything and everyone in the show is strongly connected.

That perceptions and memories may be skewed

It's entirely possible that Carmy's mom crashing through the house, Mikey screaming, 'Ma what did you do? and Sydney showing up with the MOM car tattoo are all related

Crash

Chevrolet Caprice Station wagon

I'm waiting to see what it all may mean

Christopher Storer doesn't put elements into his story that he doesn't intend to use

[unladyboss]

YOU GOOD DONNA?

How come Donna freaks out when Natalie asks if she's good

But when Carmy asks if she's good (and I think he did it to get a reaction out of her, because we she just called him Michael)

All he gets is 'I'm good'

That is really bizarre to me

There's something about Nat...

[unladyboss]

DONNA BERZATTO TRIES TO LOOK OUT FOR THE KIDS: Hear me out

There were three instances I noticed that Donna was Cognizant of her kids in distress and tries to help them. As far as an alcoholic woman who has been drinking can, she did intervene

I dunno what kind of background Donna is coming from, but some of these women who have a revolving door of weirdos coming into their house, subject their kids to all sorts of abuse at the hands of strangers (see that disgusting uncle Lee).

The women who do that usually don't have a lot of boundaries for themselves and don't oftentimes know HOW to protect their kids in a determined way.

So here's Donna's attempt. Distraction

She throws the spoon at Steve to break up a stressful conversation for Carmy.

Although the conversation went on so long that the damage was already done

She comes out to the dining room to stop Lee from tormenting Mikey by saying he is nothing.

Although the conversation went on so long that the damage was already done

She rams the car into the house to protect Mikey from Lee, when the fight starts.

I'm thinking she was gonna drive somewhere after she got done with yelling at Nat,or even sit in the garage, but she heard the chaos and drove the car through the house

At least she tried. I THINK she was trying to help. It's ALWAYS too little too late but it shows there may be hope. OR I COULD BE LOOKING FOR A GLIMMER OF HOPE.

[unladyboss]

WELL. WELL. WELL.: CARMY IS DONNA BERZATTO

Remember when Richie told Carmy that he was his mom Donna and Carmy was so upset about that he just about blew a gasket?

Well we have SOME proof he just like Donna

Donna told Pete she loves her kids but she doesn't know how to show it (That's kinda like Carmy)

Donna told Pete she doesn't know how to say sorry ( well Carmy's out here using sign language for sorry)

Donna said she doesn't deserve to see how good the restaurant is ( you got Carmy in a fridge talking about he's a psycho who doesn't deserve fun)

Donna freaks out at Carmy (Carmy freaks out at Sydney)

FREE MY GOOD SIS SYD!

Normalize therapy for Carmy

If I think about this too closely Carmy has me all the way messed up for Syd's sake.

I have a theory that he drinks as well secretly

I'm not gonna think about it

[unladyboss]

IN WHAT WORLD?

When is it ever okay to throw someone's tuna casserole out on the front porch?

Why did anyone have to even say anything?

Or if the mom made a fuss, the tension was high anyway, so why not tell her, I'm gonna eat casserole and that's how it's gonna be?

They're better than me because I'm not gonna placate behavior that results in me not enjoying something that's supposed to be enjoyable.

[unladyboss]

SO WHAT NOW?

We've established a few things

1. This scenario is going on in someone's mind

2. The person whose mind it's happening in, is an addict of some sort. I'm thinking alcoholic

2 b. The person whose mind it's happening in may be unconscious or have locked in syndrome. Since they watch tv, they may have constructed these characters from images they see around then, if they are locked in

3. The storyline being played out is a mix of Greek and Egyptian mythology under the guise of normality of a restaurant

4. The story, whatever out is, is in a time loop. A groundhog Day if you will

5. The story gets reset if the protagonist is not successful in whatever scenario is happening (restaurant etc

6. The resetting will stop once the protagonist is successful.

Success may be defined (within the context of the story) as possibly Carmy admitting he is an addict to everyone, and gaining sobriety.

Or since the story seems to be associated with death, if the main person on the outside dies or his/death is made meaningful

What we don't know is WHOSE mind we are dealing with and what their life is like on the outside of it.

Season 3 for that

[unladyboss]

DO WE HAVE A PROBLEM?: ADMITTING IT IS THE FIRST STEP IN RECOVERY

I think someone should say YES.

YES a big problem.

Because coddling a problem just perpetuates it

She's gonna act out anyway so may as well show her that everyone is aware

It's not be a popular or fun thing and of course there will be backlash, but someone needs to say something

[unladyboss]

TODAY'S MOOD