#dont ever retrace my steps to this

[thewokemachine]

Not explaining further @dogrwo @pawzmo

Originally made by zeemmy99

[iluvloganhowlett]

I HATE YOU .𖥔 ݁ ˖

in which logan leaves for a mission unexpectedly for almost a year and still expects to be welcomed home upon return

warnings: angst, no happy ending (oops!), a little violence, mutant!reader, that’s it fr

reader has same powers as logan bc they were both experiments at the same time

i also switched up the timeline slightly so pretend logan isn’t a grumpy old man and is more so how he was in x-men (2000)

i also saw some other story that was kinda like this one but i couldn’t remember who’s it was so if anyb knows drop it so i can credit

part 2

“why are we here again?” wade questioned, stuffing a handful of cheetos he stole from a vending machine a while back.

logan only glared at him, “because. i left her for 9 months, the least i can do is come home and show her that im alive.”

wade shrugs, “who even is this ‘she?’ is she hot?”

in seconds, wade finds himself pinned against the wall of the hallway, logan’s claws only centimeters from his neck. “she’s my girl, you don’t get to talk about her being hot,” logan growls, retracting his claws and releasing wade.

“well damn wolvie! don’t get your panties in a bunch, im not stealing your girl! unless the charm is just too much for her then-“

“do you ever stop fucking talking outta your ass?”

wade only sighed, halting to a stop as logan did the same. “137,” logan muttered, looking up at the 137 sitting next to your door.

as logan rose his hand to knock, the door was swung open. logan’s eyes widened. he thought he’d gotten himself back into the right headspace to see you again, clearly he’d been mistaken.

the way your low-set brows rose up at the corners in anger, your long lashes drawing his eyes straight to your deep brown ones. your plush lips curled in slightly and your hair flowed down your back smoother than water.

wade whistled, “hey hot stuff-“ before he was cut of with a punch to the nose, dragging him down to the floor.

logan still had yet to say anything, admiring all the parts of you he’d missed.

however he was cut off with a groan, looking down at your claws that had made their way through his abdomen and back out, retracing back into your forearms.

“what the hell are you doing back here? and who’s the red sex-toy lookin’ thing that i j punched?”

as much as logan wanted to laugh at your dig at wade, he knew how to read the room. and frankly, he was still to stunned. “y/n? baby?”

“don’t call me that,” logan’s eyes widened, “you don’t get to call me that after disappearing for 9 months without notice, lo!”

logan couldn’t help but admire your use of his nickname you created even though you’re pissed at him.

“listen. i know, okay? i know and im sorry but if you let me in,” logan stepped closer, “i can expl- ah fuck!”

you’d stabbed him again in the same spot, pushing his body against the hall with your claws. “no you listen to me, logan. and you listen to me good. i’m not letting you come into my- our house after going awol for fucking forever and coming back with some random gay in a red suit,” you pulled your claws out of him but didn’t put them away this time.

your face softens, eyes moving rapidly between logan’s. he knew you better than anyone, he could see the way your eyes shifted from angry to vulnerable and the way your eyebrows lifted; you were a mini him, despite you being the same age.

“i thought you died, lo. i spent the past months thinking the only person i had and loved was fucking dead,” your eyes welled up as you backed away from logan, putting your claws away alas.

“i’m sorry, doll. im so sorry you have no idea,” logan’s calloused hands grazed your forearms, thumbs tracing the spot where your claws rested.

you sighed, holding back the urge to give in and hold onto him as long as you could.

“but you dont understand-“ you looked away, only for logan to lift a hand and cup your face in it, forcing your glossy eyes to meet his.

“you’re right, james! i don’t understand! so jesus fucking christ enlighten me.”

logan was taken back at your use of his real name, lip parting slightly. his heart ached more and more every time he watched your bottom lip quiver. he knew you were trying to keep up your strong facade, but were beginning to fail.

“i had a mission to go on. i had to save the world, baby!” your brows curled back into anger, and logan knew you thought he was bullshitting. “cmon, angel, stay with me. the asshat over there in the red, he dragged me into this. so if you’re gonna kill anyone for this, have it be him. i just- i need you to let me in.”

you shook your head. “lo- just-“ you stuttered, scavenging for words. “but why didn’t you say anything? you couldn’t have called? sent a letter? hell, baby i would’ve been happy with a fucking pigeon!”

“i didn’t have access to that shit.”

“for 9 months?”

he took a deep sigh, “yes, for nine months.” his tone grew louder. “because if i hadn’t left you for those 9 months there would be no more you for me to come back home to!”

“get out of my damn building, logan.”

“what?”

“leave! i want you and that goddamn red thing to get as far away from me as you fucking can and stay there.”

“y/n-“

“bye logan!”

you slammed the door in his face, leaving him standing there in utter disbelief.

logan’s claws retracted, “FUCK!” he screamed through the hall, leaving a giant claw park across your door.

he looked down at wade, who was watching from a safe distance on the floor. he put his claws away, grabbing wade by the fabric of his suit and dragging him onto his feet.

“get up, you heard the girl; let’s get the fuck away from her.”

logan was breathing heavy, more than ever before. it was like his heart couldn’t catch up to everything he was feeling in the moment. the last thing he wanted to be doing right now was walking out of your apartment building and leaving you, but he was weighed down by so much anger and hurt that he wasn’t exactly in control of himself at the moment.

“well,” wade started, “you handled that well.”

and before he knew it, wade was stabbed into a wall. “ow?”

logan growled, “i’m coming back for her.”

wade only let out a long laugh, stopping logan in his tracks.

“what the fuck are you laughing at? you should’ve heard the joke she made about you! she said you look like a sex toy-“

“i’m not laughing at that, you ape. i’m laughing at the fact that you’re coming back to her! look how it turned out the last time you ‘came back.’ “

“you don’t know what you’re talking about, kid. i’m coming back, whether she likes it or not. i’m not losing the love of my life after all i did to make sure i wouldn’t lose her.”

“i-“ “and next time im here, you won’t be.”

so! should i make a part 2 WITH a happy ending when he does come back??? 🫣🫣

♯ taglist! ∿

@spazwayy @oatmilkriver @sseleniaa @mei-simp @wittyjasontodd @wolverinesangel @realsimpbitchshit @pickuptruck01 @keigohawks @thereallchristine @velvrei

[drinkpisser]

MY HESITANT ALIEN FIC, HOW IT CAME TO BE CHAPTER 4! :p 🛸

This one shall be quite interesting for sure, dearest readers 😈🙏

Enjoy and thank you sm if you do check it out!!!<3

PREVIOUS CHAPTER/S:

begin reading chapter 4 beneath the cut!

----------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 4: DRUGSTORE PERFUME

Ray had been awaiting Gerard's return for a full week now. A week without his best friend, just as glum as you can imagine it. Actually having to take part in a routine, listening in on other people's conversations because you can't have your own, waiting for each day to end so you can be even lonelier at night. He had company, sure, but what's company if you've never felt so isolated?

Desperate to retrace his vacant steps, Ray decided to walk the paths Gerard mentioned he would cycle. This resulted in nothing more than some wheel tracks, yet anything is a clue at this point. He followed, careful to not tamper with the traces left. To his detriment, the woods seemed to be identical with each corner he turned.

Just a mundane old forest, what did Gerard see in it?

Ray pauses. A bike is leant against the stump of a tree, one wheel deflated and the other poorly attempting to keep its balance. He was here. Transfixed on the plethora of predatory situations he could have been in, Ray loses focus on his main objective- to gather clues. Does he go back and tell someone he could be in danger? Would they even believe him? The staff questioned him harshly enough already, accusing him of assisting Gerard in running away and covering his back so he wouldn't get in trouble. He feels like nothing but a nervous wreck, struggling to keep up with the rushing turmoil in his head.

"Ray?" an unsuspecting voice asks.

His heart palpitates, startled. His neck recoils so quickly that it could have snapped off his body. It was only a rugged, exhausted Gerard stood in front of him, sporting a clueless expression on his face and scratching his head like nothing ever happened.

"What're you doing here? It's super early, right?" he repeats.

"You-" Ray struggles to find an adequate response in disbelief, "You've been gone for fucking days, dude!"

"I was just getting a pump for the tyres, they busted on me whilst I was biking. I couldnt have been too long- maybe a half hour?" he responds, dismissing the claim. To Gerard's dismay, he wasn't fully aware that the passage of time is extremely warped in different realities. A few harmless hours to him was more than likely a week and a half for Ray.

"You're serious- you're serious! You don't know how long you've been!?" Ray disputes. Gerard was blank as a sheet, giving in to a defeated shrug.

Nope, he doesn't know. Idiot.

"You dont even have- where were you, Gee? At least answer me that. My bare ass has been on the stove for you over here. And you look like shit!"

...

"I- I don't know." Growing more disoriented, he finds it increasingly difficult to come up with a realistic answer. It had already been a confusing time for Gerard, and all these questions weren't helping his case even if they were reasonable enough.

Ray sighs, "I can't stay mad at you. Just take me with you next time, at least. Wherever you were it couldn't have been that fun on your own."

Gerard resorts to a hug in order to comfort Ray's visually apparent distress. He wishes he could tell him the truth with his entire soul, but he couldn't bare to see what could happen if he did. More than anything, he was afraid. That's why he needed to start creating art as soon as possible, to save everyone.

"If you need to talk about anything- you know I'm here, yeah?" Ray adds.

"Yeah." Gerard smiles mildly.

Ray pats his back, and they get to walking back to the main area of camp, almost clinging onto eachother. As Gerard reconciles with familiar faces, Ray awkwardly clenches his teeth in a feeble attempt to smile. Spotting Frank, they head in the direction of the bench he's sat on.

Frank raises an eyebrow, dropping the nachos he was just snacking on, a baffled "That's Gerard?" exiting his mouth.

"Sorry, I don't recognise you-" Gerard discloses.

"This is Frank," Ray chirps once again, "he bought me cookies and now we're pals. He likes Iron Maiden and plays guitar too!"

Affectionately, Ray slaps Frank on the back of his shoulders, causing him to eject a sheepish "owch!".

"Awh, cool! Nice to meetchya Frankie." Gerard grins, awkwardly shaking his dorito dusted hand.

"Gerard Arthur Way! There you are!" a disciplinary voice hollers.

"Well shit." Gerard mutters, the boys snickering slightly at his remark. Almost dragged by the hood, Gerard is indefinitely sent off to a questioning of some sort.

The staff member escorts him to an important looking room, featuring an even more important looking name tag on the desk: 'Principal'. Surrounding it, there are small, framed photographs of staff members and past campers, who seem tremendously happier than anybody here currently.

Just gotta survive this interrogation without giving everything away, he monologues in his doomed brain. So doomed... So fucked.

A stern looking woman clicks her heels as she enters the secluded room, taking a seat as she glares intensely into Gerard's entire existence.

"Where were you? Is everything okay? Were you hurt?" Just as he'd anticipated, the questions came flooding insufferably in.

"Hey, listen..." Gerard pinches the bridge of his nose as if he's in excruciatingly dire pain, "I just got back and i ain't feelin' well. I fell over and busted my lip, see? Can I please go to the nurse instead?" He believes that reverse psychology is effective, and that his injuries from over a week ago look fresh. Oh, dear. Maybe save the big ideas for when you turn 25 next time.

She grumbles, shaking her head.

"Not yet. You can afterwards, however."

She begins jotting down notes. Following this, she looks at Gerard expectingly, despite his nervous silence.

"So?" she suggests, tapping her pen against the clipboard she's writing on.

"So, what?" Gerard backchats, crossing his arms and deciding to play smartass.

"So, what were you doing outside campus, unauthorised for a fortnight?" she demands the question.

He tuts, rolling his eyes. A surpisingly bold move for him, but a typical one. He grows cockier, due to the hindrance and his heightening feelings of annoyance towards having to answer for himself.

"I like, ran off for a week, 'cause I'm bored shitless of this place..." he smirks, "In other words, I skipped. What're you gonna do about it, kick me out? I already left once."

The principal lets out a diabolical gasp.

Gerard knew from that alone, he was not going to get away from this any easier than before he opened his mouth.

"What I can do is expel you, young man! That won't be a laugh to explain to your parents, will it?" she exclaims at the top of her lungs.

"Do it! I don't fuckin' care. I'm worth more than this place anyways, and so is Ray. If you're gonna kick me out, at least do the same for him. Leaving him alone in this dump was the mistake i made, not skipping." he rants.

"You're really about to do this?" she lowers her voice in concern.

Gerard glances around in hesitation before doubling down on his claim, his eyes lighting up slightly.

"Yeah."

That felt like a strangely refreshing moment for Gerard, as though being argumentative with higherups was the epitome of being punk and an absolutely rock solid act on his behalf.

"Alright, we'll call your parents to pick you up. And Ray can go with you, he's in deep trouble because of you now. I hope you understand that." she lectures.

"Aight," he scoffs, getting up out of the chair he'd slumped in.

"I'm out."

He storms out of the office desperately searching for Ray and Frank, not realising they had snook off and waited outside right next to him.

"Hm, I heard yelling." Frank observes, pursing his lips.

Gerard turns to each of them almost instantly.

"Oh, thank god-" Gerard clutches onto both Ray and Frank's arms with an underlying agression.

"We gotta go, like, now! I am so serious!" he blurts out obsessively.

"Dude, wh-" Ray begins, interrupted by the snatch of Gerard's run. He drags them behind a bush, heavily encouraging them to be silent with a desperate "shh!".

Several staff members rush past the glorified pile of leaves shielding the three.

"Can someone please tell me what is going on?!" Ray hisses through a whisper.

"Okay, okay! I will. I spewed bullshit to the principal lady. Told 'er I skipped on purpose. She threatened to expel me so I humoured 'er and said you shouldn't be left here alone and-"

"Sorry, the fuck do I have to do with this?" Frank interrupts.

"Just sit and look pretty or somethin' whilst I explain the goddamned situation! You're involved 'cause you are. I wasn't about to just leave ya." Gerard groans.

Frank huffs.

"So... You sold me out and lied?" Ray disputes in confusion, a slight look of upset on his face.

"No- I just thought if I said that as a bluff I could get us out of here quicker. You want to leave, right?" Gerard defends.

Ray remains silent for a few seconds, considering it.

"Screw it." Ray beams.

A feeling of relief washes over Gerard's sweaty face, glad that his stupidity didn't get taken the wrong way.

Two staff members park themselves not too far away, beginning to discuss.

"Ray is now gone, they must have been planning some kind of rebellion from the beginning." One starts.

Frank raises an eyebrow.

"Hey, seeing as I'm the pretty one I could go ask what they're gonna do to ya."

He rolls his eyes with a pinch of salt, getting up on his own accord. Gerard knew it was best to not crush Frank's withering dignity any further, so he let him get on with it. Ray watched closely in slight suspense. Frank hunches over, approaching the two staff members all whilst kicking some gravel and looking down inside of himself.

"Mcscuse me, what's goin on?" he asks with innocent eyes.

"Do you have any idea where your accomplices are? Ray Toro and Gerard Way?" the staff's dialect felt restrictive.

"Can't say I do. Why's the matter?" Frank asks further, intentionally using poor phrasing for cool effect.

"They are to be arrested, and cannot leave the premises under any circumstance."

Gerard chokes. Ray's jaw is almost touching the grass. Frank elongates a whistle. He pauses, before then intelligently throwing a right hook towards the man's face.

"WE NEED TO GO!" He screams at the top of his lungs to the once concealed duo, snatching a plank of wood lying around and hoisting it underneath his greasy armpit.

Ray and Gerard chase behind him in desperation, quickly noticing the upcoming dead end. It would be futile to look back now, they're already being ambushed!

"Oh, Frank! What the fuck were you thinking runnin' this way?!" Gerard cusses.

Frank briefly catches his breath, before screeching at the barbed wire fence.

"There's a reason I stole a plank of wood, jackass! We're gonna use it to cross the old river behind this fence!" Frank begins climbing with a hint of pain from the spiky material separating the boys from freedom.

Gerard gulps in realisation. He can't swim, and his phobia of drowning doesn't make the idea of a flimsy bridge any better.

"Huh, now that's a funny joke, Frank-Anthony." he crosses his arms sarcastically.

"Does it look like he's joking!?" Ray complains, already up and over the fence. They're getting closer as Gerard grows in hesitation. In a fit of panic, Gerard snatches the plank of wood through a gap in the wall. The two teens shriek in annoyance.

"What the fuck!" Ray exclaims.

"Make your own way, I'll catch up!" Gerard blurts out. He'd honestly would rather them stay, he was consumed by fear. Ray denies before getting dragged away by an eager Frank, turning back in instant regret.

By now, Gerard had no coherent thoughts. The only energy coursing through his body was the adrenaline of facing danger head-on. He takes a swing at the current enemies, whacking the woodplank in half off of the now hostile janitor's head. Once his only weapon had shattered into shambles, he looted an unconscious park officer for any useful self defence. He manages to find a sharply ended hammer. Ooh, goody! A hammer! This will certainly end well.

Gerard suddenly feels a strange sensation of electricity within his weaponised palms. Visions of the mothership come lurking into his mind, clouding his perception of reality. Almost as though he was possessed, his scleras glow an iridescent white. All that was visible to his half-naked eyes we're the similar enhanced surroundings he'd witnessed before finding Lola. Nothing seemed quite right, not even the concept of nothing. His actions didn't feel like his own, as though the control room in his brain hit autopilot.

The rest of the committee come dashing in, and, as promised, Gerard begins bashing in, gushing the brains of old acquaintances onto the forest floor. He couldn't stop himself, no matter how hard he tried. Decrepit thoughts invade his mind- the deformed extraterrestrials, the secrecy, the defenselessness. The yearning to escape is too much for him; he can't take the strangeness anymore, and whatever can't make it stop in the moment should be destroyed. Or, maybe, was it that anything obstructing Gerard from the prophecised future was to be eliminated by an external force?

The hammer pierced the skin of its victim, critically damaging whatever it hit. As the bodies fell more and more, the static inflicting pain up Gerard's psyche faded.

Akin to the flicker of a light switch, he drops the bloodstained hammer in disbelief. As his pupils dilate, Gerard runs his red smothered fingers through his hair in distress and backs away from the remains he'd just bludgeoned. He can feel every erratic beat in his heart, one after the other, aching in dismal harmony.

Meanwhile, the others had crossed the unanticipatedly wide abandoned river using a derelict canoe. Still sailing, Ray's worries were still with Gerard.

"Don't you think staying with him would have been a better idea? I mean, I know him and he's not really a violent person. What if something's wrong?" he suggests.

"Try to relax. You're rambling," Frank comments, "He'll be okay, I promise. He surely must be if he didn't wanna go with us." he adds, troubled.

"Are- are you mad at him or something?" Ray enquires, perking his head up.

"No, just confused. I could've sworn he was acting off. There was this look in his face when he told us to run, and I'll be honest, it scared me." Frank speculates.

"Oh..." Ray frowns,

"I really do regret leaving him, though..." his words trail off in apprehension as he slowly taps Frank's shoulder to look in the same direction as him.

"Is that?-" Frank questions in a mildly bewildered state.

Gerard sat slumped on the grass awaiting the pair on the successful side of the river, his head askew in fatigue and his eyes swelled up with dainty tears.

"How did he get there so fast?" Frank asks in pure disdain.

Upon noticing the pair, Gerard gets up once again, debating on running away- only in fear of hurting who he cares about the most. He doesn't know how he even did that to those adults, he doesn't want to know. He wants to forget it. He wants to forget all of it. Even from afar, his shaking became exceedingly evident.

"Gee, it's gonna be fine! Just stay there, alright?" Ray attempts to comfort, shouting as softly as possible.

Gerard glances around himself once more, itching with a sense of paranoia. The two eventually head over to him, seeing through the bloodily drenched killer and envisioning a vunerable friend, allowing time for a group embrace. Gerard softens up, losing tension, and begins to sob like never before- he'd never felt fear like this before. It was a classic sense of dehumanisation, as though his pacifism had been violated.

After all, he wanted to save lives, not take them.

The miserable moon grows in exhaustion from lighting up the night, and gingerly begins to set. As the sun rose curiously, dawn declared a new muse for the trio. The feeling of comfort needed after a rough night, even if it was by their own hand. But they're merely teenagers, incapable of living those years entirely scuff free. Mistakes were bound to be made, even gorefilled ones. It just took a group hug for Gerard to realise it.

The trio begin to drift further away from the campsite, utilising the apricity shielding the cool morning breeze as a blanket of safety, following the light. They were about to go home, or maybe they'd already found it within eachother. Regardless, it was irrelevant how bad it was where they stayed anymore because, at the very least,

they were free from dreary old summer camp.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

Hello, this is so random but I was listening to a Spotify playlist of mine and the shuffle threw on Silhouette by Owl City and i can't even explain it but that song made me think of your depiction of Sabo and i started crying in my car. (Like right after he got his memories back.)

I adore your art and your ability to story tell and think you are brilliant okay have a wonderful day/night.

You dont know what youve done to me, how dare you. This song is so

Like yes exactly that is it. That’s my sabo.

Its just,, like its past the point of the fire and the flames of the grief, its just.. he’s just the husk. He’s trying not to fall into an emotionless depression but its hard.

The lines

Im sick of the past i cant erase

A jumble of footprints and hasty steps i cant retrace

The mountain of things that i still regret

is a vile reminder that I’d rather just forget

Hits particularly hard.

Like i have to wonder if he’s ever thought that he would rather just have amnesia for the rest of his life.

It makes me think like… he didnt completely not know who he once was. He was found in the Goa Kingdom by dragon within the city, so they all knew where he came from. At any time, he could’ve went back there and try to regain his memories.

But he didnt.

And now its too late.

I cant fucking imagine the guilt and the regret that would come from that.

He doesnt want those feelings anymore though. He’s tired of it, he just wants it to over. Why wont it just end? Why does he still feel this way? Why is the world committed to torturing him?

Also, it doesnt hurt to your claim that Genius says that the first couple lines may be referencing the songwriter’s childhood insomnia, so theres that.

But yeah, like i love Owl City. Thanks for this suggestion, but also never talk to me again how dare you put me through this.

Thanks for the ask!

[apple-pecan]

Dragon Quest (1986)

it is the mid 80's. in japan, rpgs were a super unpopular niche genre and were only played by weirdos. the most popular console at the time, the famicom, had a player base that mostly favored platformers, shmups and other kinds of action games. but a man named yuji horii wanted to shake things up. his goal was to make an rpg for the famicom with the same accessibility and appeal as something like mario. and with the help of world famous artist akira toriyama, and war crime denialist composer koichi sugiyama, the "big three" managed to do just that. and thus, the JRPG was born, alongside one of the best series of it's ilk: dragon warrior. i mean quest.

to make it so even little kids can know what they're doing, horii's design philosophy was an exercise in extreme minimalism: there's only one party member, you can only fight one enemy at a time, only one type of healing and offensive magic, there's only a handful of towns and dungeons, and there's only one save point (?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!). the story is as basic as it gets too: some asshole dragonlord is destroying the world with monsters, and also a princess has been kidnapped. guess what you have to do.

you start the game essentially naked: you dont have any weapons or armor and only a handful of gold. so what do you do? thats right: punch a bunch of slimes in the face until you have enough to buy stuff, and level up in the process. yeah, this is what's either gonna make or break the game for you: grinding is absolutely mandatory. the gameplay loop is simple; bonk enemies outside of town to get gold, use gold to buy weapons and armor, then your strong enough to reach the next town where the process repeats. thankfully once you have better equipment grinding only gets faster, and unlike a lot of RPGs leveling up makes drastic changes to your character. not only do you learn spells, but your stats go up A LOT. one time i leveled up and my strength went up by a staggering 13 points. holy fluff. the level cap is only 30 in this game, so every level counts.

there's also a couple of dungeons, where you learn that dragon quest 1 is secretly a horror game in disguise. dungeons are all pitch black, with your only source of sight being torches (and a spell you will learn later). you can only see so far ahead of you, which can cause some serious problems as your wander around dungeons not knowing where the hell to go. and when a strong enemy corners you and wipes the floor with you, you die and go right back to the save point with half your gold permanently gone. this makes the game more accessible, of course: instead of booting you right back to the title screen like final fantasy or megami tensei, you keep all the experience you've gotten at the cost of your money. it's a risk reward kinda thing.

okay this review's been too positive let's bitch about stuff. ONLY ONE FUCKING SAVE POINT ARE YOU KIDDING ME. if you are unlucky enough to, say, get killed during the final dungeon, you must retrace your steps from the starting castle all the way to where you were, and this can take a WHILE. there's holy waters and the Repel spell that can remove weak enemy encounters to make it faster, but they only last a hundred or so steps and they don't work in dungeons and caves for some ungodly reason. and if you try using it in said dungeon, your MP is wasted and nelson will come up to you and say "HAHA!"

another aspect that both works and doesn't work is talking to NPCs. the villagers have vital information to assist you in your quest. except when they don't. it's important to talk to as many people as possible, where they can give you clues you wouldn't otherwise be able to figure out on your own... but then there's some shit no one ever actually tells you. take the infamous sunstones for instance; an npc tells you they are hidden in the starting castle, but you look forever and cant find the damn thing. turns out you have to walk around the castle (but NOT far enough that it spits you into the world map) and in one of the corners there's a stray set of stairs that lead to the stones. hope you have nintendo power magazine, kid.

sure, there's some stuff in this game that obviously wouldn't fly today, but for 1986 this was one of the most novel and fun games you could get for the nes/famicom. it's simple yet addicting, and it's easy to see why it started a genre that's still going strong to this day. it's the first dragon quest game as well as the first JRPG as we know them today, so obviously there's gonna be some issues considering this was the first of it's kind, but thankfully they kept making dragon quest games and they're all solid and fun. and unlike it's rival series final fantasy, which hasn't had a universally beloved game since final fantasy 9 24 years ago, dragon quest still hasn't peaked yet, with it's most recent entry, 11, often considered the best game in the series. (it helps that the "big three" have been involved with every game in the series so the quality has remained consistent.)

so, even if the first dragon quest is a bit too old for you (and for most people let's face it, it's going to be), there's still a ton of great dragon quest games that all have something to offer. want a really emotional storyline intertwined with similar monster recruiting mechanics as pokemon mystery dungeon? try 5. want a gameplay focused rpg with blank slate party members that you can customize any way you want? try 3 or 9. want a really charming story with great graphics, lovable, developed characters, and a world map larger than MY BUTT? try 8 or 11. want really sadistic and bullshit gameplay that'll make you cry and throw your nes out the window? try 2. sure, it's likely that final fantasy and pokemon will never be as good as it once was ever again, but over here in dragon land, it's never been better. play these games already dammit!!!! do you want me to beg!!!!!?????? DO YOU?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?! anyways i love dragon quest it's peak thank you bye.

8/10

NOTE:

............................................ final fantasy sucks

[romanwrote]

Fucken heartbreak

i got dumped exactly a week ago by the person i thought i could possibly share my life with. the most poetically lovely individual who would make my day my just breathing. funniest most whimsical person i have ever encountered on this fucken planet. kindest soul, warmest light, the sun of my life who i wanted to share every waking moment with. they changed the way i view and handle loving someone. 

this fucken sucks. 

the last time i experienced heartbreak was when i was fucken 16. of fucken course i dont know how to handle myself. my last relationship two years ago i was in i was engaged and i got over that relationship within a few days. there was no crying or moping around. no fucken moments where all i feel is fucken weight anchoring me to the ground from my chest. no absolute loss of strength when im doing the most mundane tasks. i cant even fucken go on a walk without retracing steps we’ve taken together. 

this is the most fucken dragging experience ive ever had. i dont know how to cope, i dont know what to do with myself. i dont know how to move on or let go? i wish i could hate them but i cant. i try to remember the hard days but all that ever comes to mind is our long days together. sleeping and feeling their breaths slow down. slow dancing in their room. the, yelling any where anytime that they loved me. long ass discussions of our life together. sharing everything, having our closet, our sweater, our pen, our water, our everything. how do i move on when everything in recent memory has them included. 

i lost and i dont know how to recover. i dont even know if i want to let go. i can feel myself clinging onto hope of a potential eventual reunion but i dont see it happening. i can try to lie to myself as much as i want but they made it clear they want no future with me anymore.

[trequartistacreates]

‘if i ever instigated, im sorry’ – Kanye West, The Life Of Pablo [2016]

A pandemonium that somehow seems to stick together.

His raison d’etre, throughout the length of the album, keeps varying. Yeezus, to some, was a concept album, with Kanye trying to come to terms with the fact, that he isn’t infallible, finally accepting ‘I know he the most high, but I am a close high’. Yet, he proceeds to rap ‘I am a God’, painting a vividly detailed idea of the podium he places himself on. David Hammons was an influential Black artist, who went on to berate the world and the audience that had celebrated him, calling them out as ‘overly sophisticated’. To Kanye, he was nothing short of an inspiration. Yeezus was no more a mortal man, he wasn’t creating art to please his mortal audience. Even though he was a Man of God, he was nothing short of the latter, himself.

Yeezus has to descend from the throne he sits on, to be a father. A husband. A speaker for his community. The throne was too far up to be heard from. Yeezus walks down the platform, glancing at his past aura – would he be able to retrace his steps back from his life of excess, women, recklessness – would he be able to survive, and more importantly, not die?

The moment the steps end & the podium evades his mindscape, Yeezus transcends into Pablo. He is no more a God, a mortal man, surrounded by mortal men.

The album art clearly depicts a dichotomy. An agonizing difference between his new world and the habits that he often finds himself embedded in. Pablo, after all, isn’t all that different from Yeezus. Moreover, what differentiates him from the latter, is his desire to turn into Pablo. Regardless, he fails to. This idea of swinging from one persona of his to the other, fledges over the record. It’s a begrimed scenario for our protagonist – one who doesn’t know who he is.

As the continuous dizzying dilemma folds out, he seems to accept Pablo the way he is. ‘Saint Pablo’ is not without his flaws. However, from this juxtaposition, Pablo can’t help but reach one obnoxious conclusion, which he brings on Abel to declare: ‘cant let them get to me, and even though I always fuck my life up, only I can mention me’, and on the same track, he cries out 'dont stop the loving, they dont wanna see me love you'.

[dumbbitchfrommars]

im feeling quite a darkness and heaviness at the moment.

lowkey feel like i need to find a psych again, cause im probably gonna spiral soon.

this was supposed to be an exciting time but instead i feel like crap.

everything is always stress stress stress. i always wonder if this is gonna affect my long term health and mental health - constantly being afraid and anxious and stressed.

i am in debt, that should be my biggest concern right now but its not. i dont care at all. which is a huge thing to say considering my capricorn moon.

nothing really feels worth it, nothing is good enough. nothing is ever good enough. when has it ever? i try so hard to appreciate the little things but its like im always masking this underlying lack of appreciation for everything. life is hard. life has let me down so often... i have let myself down so often.

what did life do to deserve these words? lets be honest for once. no one and nothing has done me dirty. its all in my favour and to help me grow. im the one whos resisting and refusing to change.

i have a list of bad habits and thought processes that are limiting me. its a wonder people have the patience and forgiveness for me. i feel like im not really worth it. i guess when it comes to my family theyre just forced to - theyre my family. we live together. of course they will tolerate me.

somehow feeding into my negativity is not helping. i still feel wrong. like its all wrong and im not allowed to feel this way. ive done the wrong thing and im handling it all wrong. what do i do to fix it?

the tarot told me to reach out to others during this time. to communicate. the one thing i suck most at. yet i dont either at the same exact time. ive learnt how to talk about the things that matter. work. work and... fun. but life isnt all about work and fun. theres ugly stuff too. like my inner world and how underdeveloped and unprepared she is for the real world.

im angry and insecure, yes, we already established that. what's deeper? i dont know how to take care of myself. i want to be taken care of. i am scared of being forced to take care of myself. i am hurt because nobody wants to take care of me. i feel abandoned. i feel neglected. my inner child is feeling neglected. my inner child wants so desperately to be looked after.

i went into a black hole and had no one on the outside to look after me. but thats not true, is it? i had someone to look after me. i was lucky enough to have someone who cares about me to look after me. and i wasnt grateful, because i was upset. i felt id received evil eye. i was suspicious and angry and resentful because somehow it all meant that i was less worthy, less pretty, less wanted, less important, less enough. less pretty less thick less curvy less attractive less magnetic less feminine less desired. its so fucking stupid. its so so so fucking stupid. its all stupid. its all a stupid fucking game made by men who want us against each other and want them to be the prize. i am the prize. ive convinced myself im not but i am the fucking prize.

how did i let it get to this? how come it has come to this? when and how and why did it? when i retrace my steps, can i see how i fell into the trap of negative thinking time and time again until the point of no return? i thought i'd be fine as soon as i had time to myself. but the damage has been done and its gonna take a while for me to return to where i was before. i should be feeling on top of the world. i should be feeling magnificent. and proud. and happy. but i feel like absolute shit. i feel so low. and i feel like i cant focus on anything but the worst experiences from the last few months. nothing good only bad. im being frustrating and stubborn and completely negative and childish.

im so angry at myself right now. i dont know how to fix it. i dont know how to get back to normal in time. theres no time. life doesnt wait for me or anyone. but i still need time. how can i show my face to all my friends and put on a smile when nothing is fine inside? i want to say "no, i cant make it" and take the time to recover. but will i even recover? it just becomes another thing to add to the list of things im disappointed in myself over. im a mess. im chaos. im a child throwing tantrums everything her fuse has run out. because im not able to regulate my emotions until they blow over and all of the sudden im reacting and lashing out and doing things i always come to regret.

i hate feeling like im being treated like a child and yet i act like one.

i want someone to look after me and take care of me and parent me and love me.

but can i do any of those things for myself? for another person? i say how badly i want children but look at me. id be a terrible mother. i can barely take care of myself.

knowing all these things does nothing for me. i need to change. i want to change. but i dont want to either. im afraid of how much work its gonna take. all of the sudden im 18 again and completely overwhelmed and cant handle the pressure of all the responsibility life and adulthood brings. im still grieving the old me. im still grieving the childhood i missed out on... im still grieving the childhood i never appreciated.

my life lesson will be to appreciate it.

and still my ears ring and still my head throbs and i cant cry because i am still disconnected from her. i am her. but i cant reach her. shes taken the reigns and is bulldozing everything i thought i once knew.

theres so much to unpack. i want to learn i want to change i want to grow. fuck its so overwhelming. i feel like shit. i feel like a failure. i feel so weak and immature because i just cant do it. i feel so ashamed because i dont want to be this way. i dont want to be treated like a child i just want your respect.. i just want to be respected. i just want to be heard. listen to me! i deserve to be heard. i deserve to speak up. why cant i just fucking SPEAK UP? why wont you give me the space to SPEAK UP? listen to me! listen to me! listen to me! i might be a child but i am still fucking important! listen to me! how could you make me feel this way? this small? this unimportant? this silenced? my anger is valid but its being channeled in the wrong way. its spilling out because i dont know what to do with and i dont know how to integrate it and i dont know how to share it in a healthy way.

okay. i need to sit with this for one fucking second . its all ive been wanting and asking and waiting for for weeks. so let me do that. okay!? give me a fucking break. fuck.

[actually-2000-mice]

we just fucking love unexpected expenses that wouldn’t fucking exist if my memory wasn’t so fucking bad

[doebt]

im big screwed u guys lol

[losersclublol]

kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!

stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie

they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”

they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???

stupid. fucking. tiktoks.

so many

richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good

a few of them blew up

cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness

ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg

sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”

stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy

they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)

they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down

“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”

they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)

the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg

one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet

she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it

their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other

no other losers can see them

stozier eyes only

they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12

omg musically

they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made

HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE

“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something

stan has glasses

reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones

omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before

like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever

she just can’t see them (how?? idk)

they share clothes

obviously

but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there

shared wardrobe

y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit

sorry back on topic

i hate to be the one to say it but

they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t

it’s up to you how it happens but it did

stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)

she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked

she horror screams every time

THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF

no no no fuck this no no

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO

kms

i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure

anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight

they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there

they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt

have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count

they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)

they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets

like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it

(stan got the bacon one)

they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates

whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like

stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos

soup making omg

they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN

i’m sorry but it’s funny

it was unintentional at first tho

richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS

they’ve definitely ugly cried together

well of course

but it still had to be said

and like cuddles awwwwww

also they genuinely love eachother

whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me

well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends

okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here

also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies

oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!

[sokkas-honour]

dream boy: part 3 - sokka x reader

pairing: sokka x fem!reader

request: part 3 was requested by @missmorosis

wc: 2.7k

notes: i’m terribly sorry if it may seemed a bit rushed or not exactly consistent but i personally liked the way it ended. also this is the final part, i might make an epilogue if i actually finish everything i need to do.

part one | part one 1/2 | part two

sokka wasn’t able to see you until monday, purposefully ignoring all the texts from yours friends, not wanting to know if sokka actually told them what had happened or if he had decided to keep it to himself, either way, you were better off just staying off your phone until school started. you only unlocked your phone to text zuko back and even then you didn't always have the courage to do so.

you had made sure to wake up early in order to not cross paths with the watertribe boy, his sibling or just any of your friends until you absolutely had to, preferring to simply distance yourself from the others. of course you couldn't avoid them forever, you had over half of your classes with at least one of them, two of those being with sokka, the guy who you especially didn't want to see, history and gym. gym would be easy to avoid him in, you had become acquaintances with this lovely girl called jin, whom you also shared your math class with, you could just spend the whole period with her and avoid him. your real problem was going to be history. your teacher, mister kuzon, had informed the class that there would be a group project on any cultural aspect from the water tribe, and he had chosen the groups. the chance of you actually being paired with sokka was miniscule but the universe hadn’t seemed to be going easy on you lately.

and much to your dismay, the universe was in fact against you. when your history teacher’s voice had posted the groups, your heart had started racing as you approached the board to see the pairs, your heart was racing in fear and it dropped when you saw the name y/n next to sokka.

after being asked to sit next to your partner to get started, you stayed silent as you plopped down on the chair next to the boy who you were still trying to avoid, staying silent and keeping your eyes in front of you.

“are you going to work with me or is it going to be a silent treatment the whole time.” he questioned, turning to face you, arm hooked around the back of his chair as he looked at you desperately for any sign of you acknowledging his presence.

“i was thinking we could talk about the differences in the cuisine in the north and south.” you mumbled, chin on your hand as you kept your gaze on the board in front of you, ignoring the boy who was still searching for an answer.

“yeah, sounds good.” sokka sighed, giving up on receiving a straight answer from you. he turned back in his seat, disappointment radiating off of him, making you bite your lip in guilt. you shot him a glance from the corner of your eye as you saw him discreetly take his phone out to open the notes app but before you could see what he was typing he turned to face you, catching you right in the act.

“uh, saturday at your place?” seemed like the only logical way out of the embarrassing situation you had just walked into, still not breaking the staring between the two of you. you felt your heart speed up a bit at the extended eye contact, not having looked into his blue eyes in awhile, the last time being before you stormed out of his house after your confession.

“sounds good.” he offered you a small smile, happy to see that your attempt at a cold shoulder was somewhat backfiring, knowing that you couldn't avoid him forever. he let the stare linger a bit before turning his attention back to his phone and you quickly snapped back to your notes taken during the class. thanking yourself for not letting the stupid smile heat your cheeks up, now all you had to do was finish the class with a not so uncomfortable silence between the two of you.

the bell didn't take too long to ring before you had to move onto your next class which was the one you detested the most, science. courage surged through you as you waved goodbye to sokka, earning a bright smile back from the boy before you dashed out of the class. to anyone, that might have seemed rather pointless that you felt as proud as you did, a wave goodbye was considered an act of politeness, but that had been the first time you had really addressed sokka in any way since the unplanned confession. he had probably realised that as well, giving a reason for the sudden bright smile on his features.

you practically sprinted towards your science classroom, holding your books tightly to your chest to not let them fly out of your grip. you hoped zuko was already there, knowing he’d want to hear the rather big step you’d just taken in repairing your friendship with your childhood friend. you were surprised that the thought of slowly getting over him in order to just be friends had slipped your mind, remembering that this morning you didn't want anything to have to do with him for the rest of your life, wanting to just stay away from him to not ignite anything in you, but you were slowly realising it was ridiculous to throw away the friendship for your unrequited crush. you two may not be as close as before but you could still stay friends, you could still hangout with him without feeling like your heart was shattering every moment you’d meet his beautiful ocean eyes.

“zuko!” you called for him as soon as you spotted the back of his black haired head, whipping his head around to greet you with a grin, happy that you weren't ignoring him like he thought you might, considering your answers to his texts were rather sporadic and vague.

“happy to see you’re alive y/n.” he joked as soon as you caught up with him, both of you walking at the same height as you entered the room, taking a seat next to each other as you always did, even when the two of you werent as close as you were now.

“i think i’m ready to fully start moving on.” you announced, taking a deep breath before letting him know of your future plans, determination in yours eyes and tone as you felt set to move on from your crush.

“really? i'm surprised it didn't take longer.” his eyes grew a bit at your proclamation, not expecting to hear you say those words this early, thinking he’d have to see you distance yourself from everyone for weeks but it only took a day or two, making him slightly septic at how long you would actually last with your new resolution but nonetheless he was proud of you.

“yeah well i’m kind of stuck with sokka for a history project and i figured might as well start moving on from him. i still want to be friends with him.” you explained, taking your science homework out so you were prepared whenever the teacher would come on in.

“i’m proud of you y/n, its very mature of you.” he placed his hand on your shoulder, sincerity in his tone lifting your spirits up at the thought of repairing whatever damage you might’ve caused and the thought of the damage you were avoiding by taking action now instead of later.

saturday rolled around and you had managed to have some sort of small talk with sokka during your classes, still deciding to spend your lunch period with jin instead of your usual friends but it was a start to where you thought you would be saturday after you left. you had stopped eating with your friends a little over a week ago, opting to spend time with the lovely girl from your math class. you had had trouble sleeping friday night, scared of going to sokka’s house and falling back to where you started, back to square one, back in love with a friend who was already taken by a lovely girl.

your feet felt rather heavy as you walked down the familiar path to his house, bag with a your notebook and history course around your shoulder as you retraced the steps you had followed almost everyday during that particular summer, always going to sokka’s house to entertain yourself while school was out.

you first lingered in the air above the door for a couple of seconds, taking a deeo breath in to calm your nerves before you finally knocked. it didnt take long before it was opened, sokka with an eager smile on his lips was who greeted you behind the door.

“finally, you shouldve been here an hour ago!” he lamented jokingly as he moved out of the way to let you in, causing you to roll your eyes at how dramatic your friend was.

“sokka, im five minutes late.” you deadpanned, hastily taking your shoes off, leaning against a nearby wall for support.

“exactly!” he exclaimed, his voice cracking slightly and suddenly you felt as though nothing ever happened, as if your feelings had never come to make you want to change whatever relationship you had with him, simply feeling as though the two of you were just friends.

“really sokka? dont you reme,ber when i waited an hour for you outside in the freezing cold in the woods so we could make a campfire together? or that time where we were late in eight grade because someone accidentally put on ripped pants? or-”

“alright i get it.” he held his hands up in defeat at your inquisitive look, knowing you were only joking around with him to make him feel slightly guilty for all the times he had been late.

“my dad made seaweed noodles for us to eat while we work, hope thats okay.” shoving his hands in his pockets, waiting to see you reaction at the mention of one of your favorite dishes that he’d always insist his father to make you whenever you’d come by.

“no way!” you dashed into the kitchen, leaving sokka by himself at the entrance, surprised at how fast the two of you had seemed to ease back into things and some part of it seemed to good to be true but he was happy to have you back.

“wait for me!” he called for you, spending slightly to join you. a reminiscent smile on his lips as he watched you excitedly poor yourself a bowl, knowing where everything in the hous ewas from it practically being a second home for you during all those years.

“you’ll have to say thank you to hakoda.” you told him as you eyed the noodles, your stomach rumbling as you brought it to the table, it had been too long since you had eaten his father’s cooking.

“y/n, you havent even eaten it yet, how do you know its good?” he laughed as he watched you carefully bring the bowl to the dinner table, trying to get to it as fast as you could but still making sure to not let any of the broth spill out.

“because your dad’s seaweed noodles are the best!” you defended your previous statements, taking a seat as you waited for sokka to make his own bowl and bring chopsticks for the both of you. the watertribe boy nodded, slightly mocking you in his own playful way. while you waited for him to rejoin you, you took out the notebook you used for your history notes and grabbed a pen that was sitting on the table.

you scribbled down the title of your project and tapped your pen, impatient waiting to be able to dig into your steaming hot dish.

“have any ideas for the presentation?” sokka startled you slightly, coming from behind you to lean over your shoulde to see if you had written anything but he was met with a blank page.

“no, now get me my chopsticks idioy.” you shoved his head away, earning a protestful ‘hey’ from him as your brought your hand back to wram themselvbes on the bowl.

“here.” he placed the chopsticks next to the bowl before making his way around the table to sit in front of you, slowly blowing on his soup to cool it down.

“took you long enough.” you teased before you grabbed them to pick up some of the noodles, cooling them off with your breath before shoving some of it into your mouth. sokka started laughing at how quickly you engulfed the noodles that his father had spent the morning making.

you flipped him off, not caring at how ‘unlady like’ you might’ve looked but it had been forever since you had tasted his father’s seaweed noodles, during winter it was a staple food for whenever you would spend the night but since the weather had gotten warmer and you had grown more distant, it had been a hot minute since you had a traditional dish of the southern water tribe, something you’d most definitely use in your comparison of the different cuisines.

“before we start, i wanted to talk to you about something.” sokka brought his hand down, deciding not to eat just yet but rather address the elephant in the room.

“yeah?” you knew where this was going so you finished chewing what was in your mouth and swallowed, keeping your eyes on the food as you wiated for sokka’s question.

“so where do we stand, us? i mean two days ago you stormed off, after weeks of us not actually talking and now it feels like everything is fine. i just want to make sure that you’re okay.” you took a deep breath in, knowing this was coming, knowing you had to confront your feelings upfront now and not just push whatever you were feeling down, hoping it didnt blow over one day.

“if im being honest sokka, i like you, still, but i want us to be friends. im happy to see that suki makes you happy, but it might take some time for me to get over you so we might not ever be as close as before for my own sake but im willing to try my hardest to fix anything i mightve broken in the last couple of weeks. because i love having you as a friend and no matter how much it wouldve hurt to be with you before, i still missed my best friend.” you slowly lifted your head up, pouring out what was your mind without any filter, letting him know where you stood, sincerity written on your features as you wiated to see sokka’s reaction.

“that sounds good, whatever works for you. just happy i dont have to lose my oldest friend” he finally answered after silence settled between the two of you, letting your words settle and let him process your new confession.

you smiled back and then the two of you turned your attention back to the noodles, the two of you practically inhaling the food as the only sound was the muching of the seaweed and the slurping of the soup. a nice moment shared between two friends.

“you know, theres still girl that i just know you’d like.” sokka was the first to speak up, a small tease in his tone as he tried to set you up right after you told him you were trying to move on from him.

“sokka.” you threatened, not wanting him to go down whatever road he was about go down to, you finding it to be the wrong moment to bring this up.

“i’m just saying i have yue’s number if you want it!” he recoiled on his claim, but made sure to name drop the girl he supposedly thought was perfect for you. blood rushed to your cheeks at the mention of his ex girlfriend from middle school, rmebering how beautiful you thought the white haired girl was and how you had a small crush on her while they were dating.

the boy in front of you simply laughed, feeling content at where he now stood with his friend since kindergarten. he was your dream boy, but maybe not in the way you first thought. he was the boy of your dreams but not all dreams need to be romantic.

general taglist: @draqondance @biqherosix @sunnypluto @butterfly-skinnylegend @staygoldsquatchling02 @yuesallura

atla taglist: @welovediaaxx @ilovespideyyy @missmorosis

sokka taglist: @firelady-jay

[takoyakitenchou]

drivers license

reflections on the divine, set 2 days post grad

The second she graduated, it came to Nakiri Erina’s attention that she probably had to stop relying on her chauffeur to bring a limo whenever she needed a ride. Thus she used her family name to outsource driver’s ed and promptly applied for driving lessons and an expedited license application process.

Erina had always believed that it would be Yukihira Souma sitting beside her the first time she took her Audi R8 and her new license out for a spin. And yet here she was, sitting with the heavy burden of an empty passenger seat weighing down on her. 

She was driving alone through the suburbs, a few minutes out from Yukihira Diner in the outskirts of Tokyo. Other than a vague awareness of her surroundings necessitated by her position, she couldn’t seem to focus on anything other than the deafening silence in the car.

Even the radio was silent.

Erina parked a block down from Sumiredori and began walking, retracing familiar steps to the building with a cheerful red awning. The last time she’d come here, she’d been clinging to his waist (and her dear life) as he zoomed at suicidal speeds on that damn scooter. If only she’d appreciated the thrill when she had the chance. The windshield of her car did, in fact, shield wind. There was no such thing as her hair whipping in her face when she was sitting in her R8.

Her feet took her to the front steps of the restaurant; she tilted her head and read the kanji on the wooden sign to the right of the door. Yukihira Diner.

“I miss you a lot,” she said, and for some inexplicable reason, she knew he heard her from halfway across the world.

“Erina-chan?” 

Erina turned around and came face to face with the grandmother figure in Souma’s life.

Kiyo-san was appraising her with a smile that deepened the wrinkles around her eyes and mouth. “Erina-chan, how are you?”

Maybe it was the loving warmth with which the grandmother addressed her, she had no idea, but before Erina knew it she was crying and Kiyo-san was patting her back gently as she tried to get a hold of herself.

“I know we weren’t perfect,” Erina said quietly once their combined efforts had worked the sobs out of her body. “But I’ve never felt this way. For no one.”

“I’m sure he feels the same way about you, Erina-chan. I haven’t seen him smile in the same way he does around you since Tamako passed, and I watched that boy grow up.”

Erina sighed and pushed her bangs off her forehead. “I messed up, Kiyo-san. I let go of his hand.”

“But did you really?” Kiyo-san asked gently.

Erina was silent for a long moment. “No... I guess not. How could I ever love someone else?”

Kiyo-san smiled like she’d been expecting Erina’s answer. “Honey, I think that’s what’s important. Just... give it time.”

With a grateful embrace, Erina replied, “I will. Thank you, Kiyo-san.”

The grandmother bobbed her head pleasantly and made to go, but Erina took her hand. “Wait, would you like me to cook something for you before you go? I... I know it won’t be true Yukihira cooking, but I don’t know how else to thank you properly.”

Kiyo-san smiled. “If it means something to you, then yes, I’d love to taste your cooking again.”

Erina quickly took the spare key from the obscure crevice in the shirokashi wall panels and unlocked the gate. She ushered the old lady in and helped her sit at a table close to the bar, then headed to the backroom to check on her ingredient options.

Within moments she had two fires blazing and she was making the only dish she knew how to make—transforming furikake. 

And as she did, she imagined it was Yukihira Souma waiting for her in the house.

my mental health is rapidly deteriorating but fuck it welcome to simp!rei hours i guess. hiatus who? dont know her :}

[senseitiddy]

Hush || Chapter One

Note: Lets see how this series goes, if you like it please reblog and leave your comments! I appreciate and love all of you Rai lost her clan due to some sound ninjas, she seeks out on an adventure for the Akatsuki, in the process she is taken by them. The little fierce women makes something in Tobi feel for her, as much as he did for Rin.

The blood ran down the side of her forehead, flesh tender and swollen. She was starting to stir awake. Rai went to rub her eyes but couldn't. “What the f-goddamn it!” She hissed. Her arms were tied down by ropes. Looking around herself, she realized that she was in a dark room. It smelt of water, like the smell of a rainy day. The walls were a dark color, like stone. There was a small light above her head and that was the only object in there other than the chair she was sitting in.

“W-what happened?” Rai whispered looking down at her body. ‘Thank GOD my clothes are still on’ she thought. She was surprisingly really calm during this time, but why is she here? Where exactly was Rai?

In the meantime of trying to retrace her steps, the door in the corner swung open revealing a cloaked man and women. The man had orange hair and the women had purple hair with a little rose in it. “Shes finally awake.”

“Who the fuck are you?” Rai snapped looking at the two. She took in their looks, trying to remember if they had anything to do with her being here. “Why am I here?”

“What were you doing following around our members?” The woman spoke up and Rai glared at her.

“What members? Last thing I remember is that I was walking and then blacked the fuck out, so why dont YOU tell me where the fuck I am you ginger emo.” Rai snapped. As you can see, shes got quite a mouth on her.

“You will not disrespect me.” The man snapped. “Answer my question.” He grabbed her by the face.

“Like I said, I was walking down a path and was knocked out.” She glared at him, “I was on a mission to find a group, I dont work for anyone.”

“A group?” The women asked softly

“Yes cant you people hear?” Rai scoffed and pulled her face out of the mans grip. “Who are you?”

“I am Pain, leader of the Akatsuki. My members you were following brought you back here, they took it into their action. They couldn't have someone following them.” Pain spoke and Rais face lit up.

“Wait, the Akatsuki! You were the group I was trying to find!” She exclaimed

“…Our group?” The girl said hesitantly.

“Konan, kill her-”

“No wait! I am not a danger I swear!” Rai cut off the ginger. “I was looking for you guys because I want to join.”

“Join?”

“Yes- do you need hearing aids or something?” She rolled her eyes. “I want to join. I heard about you guys a long time ago. I  too am a rogue ninja.”

“What may your name be?” Konan glanced at Pain and then back at the small girl.

“Rai Zuki, the last one standing in the Zuki clan.” Pain looked back at Konan impressed with Rai’s answer.

“Ah so you possess the third eye?” He questioned and she nodded. “Your family was demolished correct?”

“Yes, I lost everyone I had to the sound ninjas. I am set out on to find who they are and get my revenge.”

“And you want to join the Akatsuki for…?”

“I want to bring peace to the people who have lost their families to these people too.” Rai spoke, starting to get quiet at the end. “I want to show no mercy.”

Pain crossed his arms and looked down at Rai. His thoughts were racing. To have a Zuki in the Akatsuki? That was as powerful as having the Uchiha in the group. The powers that she held was enough to accept her request spot on. “You have two days to show us your worth.”  He cut the ropes off of her arms. “No funny business what so ever, because I will not hesitate to kill you.”

“Yes sir.” Rai stood up and rubbed her wrists. “You will not regret this.”

“I better not.” He shook his head and walked out of the room. ‘He is one scary man.’ Rai thought to herself and then looked at Konan. “How many more people are in this group?” She asked quietly and Konan smiled softly. ‘woah wait whys she smiling? she looked so intimidating!’ “Theres a few, you can come meet them.” Konan smiled, “I’m sure youre going to be staying here, youre a Zuki. Everyone will know you shouldnt be taken lightly.” “Well that is very nice to know, thank you.” Rai chuckled nodding and followed the beautiful woman out of the dark room. She took note of the way the hideout looked. It was still dark, but much cleaner than the room she was in. “If I may ask, what’s up your friends ass and why’s he got so many piercings?”

“I wouldn’t reccomend saying stuff like that around him but yeh he’s pretty uptight. The piercings are probably just him liking pain. It fits his name. ” Konan laughed shaking her head “right down this hall is everyone waiting for you”

“Oh they know about me?”

“Yeah they have been waiting for you to wake up since you got here. Some of them are very excited” Konan laughed

“Oh that’s good!” Rai smiled wider. She had dreamed of this day forever. She craved the feeling of getting revenge for her family. She didn’t ever want anyone to feel what she felt. The Zuki clan may have been a small clan but they meant everything to Rai.

Maybe. Just maybe she’ll finally have a new start.

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Obi Wan x Padawan Reader Never Lie to Me

Pairing: Sith Obi Wan Kenobi x padawan reader

Summary : Reader misplaces something important and tries to find it before her Master can find out.

Warnings: language, sexual themes, *slight smut*

***************************************************

Hello my loves! Ok so I absolutely love Sith obi wan but for some reason I struggle to write him. I tried something and hopefully it's not complete trash like I think it is lol anywaaaaaaays enjoy😚

18+ readers only!

*************************************************

Oh this was bad...this was very very bad....

Okay y/n don't freak out, you can hide this! You can totally hide this!!

Fuck no you couldn't

You groaned sliding down the wall of your chambers. How could you be so stupid?! Losing your lightsaber like that?! Did you have a death wish?!

You could only imagine how enraged your master would be.. you shook your head violently dissipating the horrible thoughts.

No no no, it would not come to that becasue you would find it. It probably fell somewhere by your speeder. Yeah it's there for sure.....probably.....

Sighing you stood up and grabbed a cloak to cover your hip and the usual missing weapon spot that hung there.

You couldn't help but imagine all the horrible scenarios that ran through your mind if Master kenobi found out.

One included merciless unending training, not letting you rest for even a moment.

Another image had you bent over his knee whilst he.... ughhh you could already feel the sting.

Your master and you had a...unique relationship to say the least... he was your master in the ways of the dark side, so you had a strict student master dynamic during training.

He took your training very seriously, leaving little room for error. But as some point his punishments got more....creative..

You couldn't help but feel your face heat up remembering that time you screwed up a mission and he saw to your reprimanding. From then on your relationship became more....personal.

He didnt give you any special treatment, and didnt allow any distractions during training. But the times after training...when he would call you to his chambers and.....

You couldn't help but feel your heart skip a beat, or two, or twenty, and you couldn't help but to recall those moments..

That scent...

Those whispers..

His fingers.....

"What are you thinking about?" A smooth voice cut through your indecent thoughts like butter. You whipped around startled that the man in question was now standing right behind you.

Quickly you made sure your shields were up, something you had made sure to refine. You didnt want him hearing all your dirty thoughts during training...

"I-I was just thinking about the mission.." you took a step back trying to regain your composure. Why did you always manage to act like a floundering idiot when he was around?!

"Hmm, is it really the mission that has you so flustered?" He mused stepping closer.

"Or something else?"he smirked knowingly.

Bastard, he must've read my thoughts before I realized he was here...

"It's-" you attempted to change the subject before he cut you off.

"And I know you know better than to lie to me don't you?" He said slightly more serious. A familiar dark edge to his voice.

You gulped, "Yes master..."

"I was thinking of other things..." you trail off averting your gaze hoping he wouldnt make you say it out loud.

Although he'd technically seen you naked quite a few times now, you still felt so embarrassed regarding anything or your "intimate moments". This was due mostly to the many embarrassing things he made you do....well ok to be fair you didnt REALLY try to stop him...but the second those moments were over you could barely look him in the eyes.

You felt those familiar warm finger gently lift your chin. You met his deep gaze,

"Speaking of other things...you did rather well on the mission, we were able to conquer the planet thanks to your efforts, so I suppose a reward is in order...dont you agree darling?" He whispered the last part in your ear making you shiver slightly.

Oh how you enjoyed those rewards of his...quite possibly the only time he would treat you gently. Well there were those times he wasnt so gentle either...actually maybe you liked those more...

AH WAIT WHAT AM I DOING, I NEED TO FIND MY SABER!!

You place you hands on his chest and gently push.

"A-actually master I wondered if I might have your permission to leave the ship I..wanted too...look around a bit more before we have to leave!" You hurriedly came up with an excuse.

He stepped back, eyeing you for a moment before nodding his approval, "Alright, be back before nightfall" he warned and continued walking down the hall.

As soon as he was out of sight you let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully he bought that story. You quickly made your way to the ship's exit and onto the lush planet known as Misano.

Normally you would've liked a chance to explore and maybe even sneak some souvenirs back. But you had no time for that now. If you didnt find that saber soon you were toast. And it didnt help that Misano turned from a tropical paradise to a frozen tundra trap by nightfall. It was truly a unique planet.

But you could admire it another time, preferably when your life wasn't on the line...

************************************

You looked up at the setting sky as dread washed over you. You had scoured and searched for your blasted saber for hours but it was no use. You had retraced your steps multiple times and even question some of the citizens to see if they knew anything.

You didnt want to even humor the idea but now it was the most likely truth. Some lowlife had probably picked it up and would soon be rolling in credits.

You pulled your cloak tighter around you as the wind started to pick up. You knew you should start to head back before it got too cold but honestly freezing to death sounded better than whatever punishment you master would enforce...

************************************

You were now full on shivering as you made your way back to the ship. The sun had set long ago and you now knew why everyone kept warning you to get inside. Your boots the only reason you could trudge through the many layers of snow.

You must've questioned every suspicious looking citizen however no luck. Your saber was probably gone forever and on top of that punishment you were sure your master was going to be angry that you disobeyed and stayed out later than he permissed.

Ughh I should just let myself freeze over...

Another half an hour later you finally made it back to the ship. Immediately you dragged yourself through the halls to your room and ordered your droid servant to run a hot bath. You were extremely lucky that master kenobi hadn't spotted you yet.

You could barely feel anything and felt horribly tired. Even the steam rising from afar felt like heaven as it reached your frost bitten skin.

You removed your practically stiff cloak but had no energy for the rest so you plopped fully clothed into the steaming water, immediately sighing in relief as you slowly felt feeling returning to all parts of your body.

You rested your head back and took a deep breath, inhaling the warm air.

*achoo* fuck...

you could already feel your nose becoming stuffed and there was a slight scratch in your throat. Perfect, getting sick was just what you needed.

After you were fully warmed up, you drained the water and lazily wrapped a fluffy towel around you. You felt the exhaustion of the mission plus everything afterwards tenfold as soon as your body hit the mattress.

You spread out lazily letting the cool sheets relax your now warmed body, covers discarded on the floor.

Your eyes drooped slowly closed once, focused on the space by the end of your bed, you tried to fight off sleep but it was proving difficult,

You opened them but slowly they drooped closed again,

The third time however you saw a blurry outline of a man.

"M-master!" Like a rocket you sat up, heart beating out of your chest. You quickly pulled up the towel over your chest.

"Y-you scared me..." You placed a hand over your beating chest trying to catch your breath. You had been too tired to even sense him coming.

He stood with his arms crossed, an unreadable expression on his face. "I distinctly remember telling you to be back before dark did I not?" He stepped closer until he was right at the end of the bed.

Oh Crap hes mad.... you sat up a little straighter trying to ignore the fact you were practically naked in front of him.

"I'm sorry master, the time got away from me..." your mouth feeling unnaturally dry as the lie left your lips.

You hated lying to him. Well you hated what usually happened when you lied to him and he found out....

He eyed you silently before leaning over the bed intimidatingly close. He leaned next to your ear before speaking,

"You're lying" a dangerous edge to his voice now

You felt your heart stop and a rush of panic fill you. Fuck fuck fuck.

Slowly he came back into view.

His eyes were a threatning color now. A silent deadly warning to choose your next words carefully. You had just broken his one rule. And he knew...

You felt a million emotions running through you. Fear, for getting caught breaking his most important rule. Shame for being stupid enough to lose something so important. And Guilt for lying to the one person you never ever wanted to lie too...

"Ah I-I'm Sorry!!" You blurted out suddenly. "I-I didn't mean too! But so much was going on with the mission!! A-and I must've been distracted and I swear I tried master I really did! B-but no one knew anything and then it started getting dark and cold a-and I didnt know what to do so I came back, but I didnt want you to be disappointed or mad so I didnt tell you the truth and I'm so so so sorry!!" You bowed your head breathing heavily, hardly realizing that your explanation made no sense. Your eyes shut tightly shielding you from his whatever horrible expression he surely had on his face.

A few moments of dreadful silence passed before you felt him shift.

"Look at me" you barely felt the ghostly touch of his fingers guide your chin up.

You sucked in a nervous breathe when you realized you were only inches from his face. His eyes were dark and penetrating. Whenever he looked at you like this you felt completely exposed. Like he could see right through your soul.

"Now calm down and tell me the truth little one" he said dangerously calm. Sometimes that was even scarier then when he yelled...

Taking a deep breathe you gathered your wits and with a deeply ashamed tone you confessed, "I lost my lightsaber.." you could feel burning at the corner of your eyes but you continued through it, "I looked for it everywhere but..." you looked down again dejectedly. What a dumb apprentice I am.. hes probably so disappointed in me.. "I'm sorry Master.."

You waited for what felt like hours until he spoke, "I know" he said in an even tone.

Your eyes shot open in surprise, "w-what?"

"How many times must I remind you nothing happens without me knowing about it."

"So then..." he knew you were lying all along...

"Yes my apprentice" he grasped your chin slightly harder now but still somehow gentle, "When will you learn..." he slowly ran his thumb over your bottom lip, dragging it down, "that you can't hide anything from me.." he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I know..I'm sorry, I was just afrai-" he cut you off with a sharp slap to your thigh.

"What have I told you about lying to me?" he caressed your bare thigh making it harder for you to focus.

"That-that I am never to lie to you...no matter what..." your breath hitched as his hand inched closer across your thigh and to your most sensitive area. However just when he was inches away he abruptly removed all contact.

You immediately felt sad at the loss.

"Exactly, and yet you did exactly that" he nodded his head, "I'm disappointed little one, especially since if you had told the truth..." he reached behind him grabbing something and bringing it forward, "you could've saved yourself alot of trouble"

You let out a gasp, "My saber!!" He let you take it from his grasp, you beamed finally feeling whole again.

"But how did you..?" You asked confused where and how he had found it.

"It fell when you jumped on your speeder during the battle" he explained nodding slightly in exasperation.

So this whole time he had it?! And that means he knew all day that you.....

"I shouldnt have lied" you apologized sincerely. "I just didn't want to disappoint you..especially since I did so well on the mission..." you mustered the best regretful expression you could. "Are you angry with me...?" You couldn't help but ask.

After a moment he smiled slightly, resting his rough palm on your cheek, "No..well not anymore, I was more upset that you risked your health by staying out too long, however I do sense your deep regret, so this time I'll let it slide"

Whoa did I hear that correctly, hes going to let it slide?? My master?? Had he hit his head during battle??

"Thank you Master, I promise it won't happen again" you meant it this time.

"Oh I know it wont pet" you shivered at the pet name he called you. He suddenly force pulled you closer until you were basically straddling him. You let out a shriek.

"Because this time.." he placed a firm hand on the back of your neck pulling you in for a possessive kiss.

He pulled away slightly and you felt his hot breathe by your ear, "I'll make sure you remember what happens when you don't." Suddenly you were on you back, towel thrown across the room.

"Whaa what?! I thought you said I was off the hook?!" You blushed fiercely as he force held your hands and legs to each corner and stood back to admire your helpless form.

He smirked wickedly, "I said you were off the hook for staying out too late.. however..." you gasped as you felt invisible fingers begin to tease your most sensitive area.

"For lying to me.." he eyed you with a gaze now hooded with lust and a dangerous glint, "You will be punished until I am certain you've learned your lesson my darling..."

***************************************************Thanks for reading!! I had alot of trouble writing sith obi wan but I tried my best. Let me know if you guys liked this enough and want to see similar Sith obi wan x apprentice fics. Alsoooo 👀if enough people want a mini 18+ continuation of the *cough* punishment.....lemme know🙈

[teenitinygod]

I’m not too good at thinking of ideas but maybe a hc of Chuuya (he’s my fave asdghf) with s/o whose ability is to detect/manipulate emotions? Or maybe a fluff scenario where Aku’s s/o secretly tries to kiss him when he’s asleep! Ooo ooo or one where Dazai keeps trying to get s/o to leave him bc he believes he’s bad for her but she’s not falling for any of it? These are just suggestions you don’t have to do it if you don’t wanna, PLS DONT KILL ME T_T ps ily you one of my fave tumblrs 🌼

I love you more bby- I did the Dazai one!

———————————————————————————————————- Dazai pushing his s/o away!

   Dazai wasn’t one to get attached, that wasn’t his thing, he laughed at falling in love, and scoffed at the thought of getting in a relationship. The deep sorrow that constantly filled his soul was unwavering and no matter what he did, no matter how many people he saved, it wouldn’t go away. The endless depression that came with being so empty inside became tiresome to deal with, so Dazai resorted to distractions. Those distractions varied and came in different forms. His new distraction was you. You were pretty, straightforward, not one to beat around the bush and bullshit anyone. That’s probably the main reason you caught his eye. You were fun, someone to laugh with, open minded and didn’t mind his 3am calls to come over. You were easy to keep a mask around, you didn’t pry, didn’t question, didn’t press at the unknown, his bandages, his past. The way you smiled and blindly followed his lead was almost endearing, he realized that being near you made days just a bit easier. He liked what you both had built, your unlabeled relationship made life a tad more bearable, simple, dare he say normal. Like he had a shot at happiness. And then came night.   

  One night. One night was all it took for what he had built to come crumbling down. He cursed himself for not being hyper aware of his actions, not being able to detect the way your eyes shined with deeper emotions when he was around, the little things you did to be closer to him. It didn’t hit him until in the afterglow of intimacy you muttered words he never thought he would’ve ever had to hear from you. In that instant his brain raced, wondering if leaving or not was the best option. You cut his thoughts off with a voice of understanding, pressing your face against his shirt, telling him that he didn’t have to say it back. Against his better judgement, he pulled you closer, drifting off into a night's rest. Yet Dazai lay awake, retracing his steps, grinding his teeth at the fact that he had done something he'd sworn not to do. Even if it was just a bit, he’d become blindsided by the distraction he created, addicted to the temporary relief you gave him of the metaphorical pillow that pressed against his head.       

That night was the start of many nights that started with intimacy and ended with a cold bed. Your once contempt attitude about the undefined nature of your relationship dissolved, succumbing to the angsty title of demanding partner. You didn’t want to be that way, but you couldn’t help the feelings of dread and chipping of your pride as Dazai fucked you in the night and left before the sun rose. His lunch date requests came to an end, the talks about any and everything stopped as your regret for muttering your feelings grew. You weren’t stupid, you could see that there was something going on with Dazai, and maybe that fact made you regret confessing to him. You were dazed, in a faux-reality where Dazai would wrap you into his arms, whispering that he returned your feelings. Maybe you were too naive, too shortsighted, too narrow minded. 

That longing look in his eyes wasn’t something you can pick up easily, it takes being with him for a while, watching him, and you did. That subconscious part of you knew you were his distraction, something to take his mind of whatever he had been going through, that’s why you didn’t press. You didn’t question the bandages, don't question the suicide, welcome him into your arms, home, and bed in the late of each night. Deciding that you’d had enough of pitying your past mistake, you decided that you would go to the agency and talk to him face to face. Five weeks had gone by since that night, not long enough to clear the awkward tension that squeezed your lungs as you both walked the calm streets of Yokohama.The sun was setting, the soft tones of the sky blended outwards as the day transitioned to night. Neither of you dared to speak first, not that you were scared, but what were you going to say? How were you going to say it? You paused, watching as Dazai took notice and turned towards you, an expectant look on his face.

“I know, I know that whatever we are was never meant to be something more to you, it was never meant to go any further than mindless sex and shallow talks. I’m not stupid and neither are you. I can see that look in your eyes, that desire for something you clearly feel that you don’t deserve. I’m not going to sit here and pretend like i’m the answer to your past, some miracle person that sets you free from the pain and trauma from what was before me. But I won’t apologize for my feelings, I stand by what I said, and I don’t want to let you go,” You confessed, voice unwavering as your toes dug into the soles of your shoes. Dazai’s face held a stoic expression, brown eyes that bore into yours, like he was trying to figure out your motives, like he was staring at your soul from the inside out, and it gave you chills. 

“I think it’s best that we go our separate ways,” Dazai responds, hands forcing their way into the bottom seams of his coat pockets. Your eyebrows furrowed, fist clenching harshly as you denied his words.“I don’t want that and I don’t think you do either. I want to figure this out, frankly I don’t give a shit if you don’t think it will matter. If you decide you don’t want to be with me after, fine. But don’t take me lightly, don’t brush me off because I know my worth. I’m willing to put up with whatever you're looking for,” Your words are sharp as you take a step towards him. The stinging of your nails pressing into your palms are somehow soothing. His expression doesn’t change and you sigh.

“I can’t make you want better for yourself, I can’t make you see yourself the way I see you, nor can I make you want to try to make this work. But I do know this, I do have feelings for you Dazai, I’m willing to do this, make this work, I’m willing to see this through,” Dazai shifts on his heels, feeling the breeze of the spring evening comb through his hair. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. You were supposed to be a distraction. Nothing more, nothing less. Yet, here he was, standing on the sidewalk as you poured out your emotions to someone you knew nothing about. It was laughable, but he knew you wouldn’t do it if you didn’t mean it. So with a tiny smile he pulled you into his arms, taking in the scent of your hair and the warmth of your body, now realizing how much he truly missed you. You both stood there for a while, knowing this was only the beginning of something, neither bad nor good at least he wouldn’t have to be alone. And underneath the setting sun as he held you close he felt a little more whole.