#dont expect that to be a consistent tag i just really like some while im posting them and i go OMG and yeah

[f2ucharacters]

[reorientation]

okay nothing in this world has ever made me flood with need the way seeing my asks linked and tagged as 'respect anon' did. little update - ive been getting railed so often (11 times total now since mid november) that i have a bruised cervix. it hurts in such a delicious way, makes me hyperaware of what i am, almost feels reminiscent of cramps.

my original hookup ive now seen six times, and he wants to see me once a week minimum. the way he murmurs "good girl" so encouragingly to me, his strength, and the insanely erotic feeling of him breeding me, have all bewitched me. the texture of semen exploding into a wet cunt is so unique and im obsessed, its a different consistency from my own wetness, so i can always feel the exact moment hes fucking his sperm into my fertile body, even when i dont feel him throbbing through it (which i usually can).

other than him, ive fucked four other guys in the last month. each and every one of them came in me bare. i hoped a few times would sate me but if anything its fanning the flames. on my neediest day i had three guys come over one after another to fill me, the first was my original guy, and the other two were completely random, and they all treated me so perfectly honestly.

the third one in particular fulfilled my need to have a real man coax me into admitting my real name, he fucked me hard and fast and used his filthy tongue to slip into my subconscious mind and loosen my inhibitions until he got it out of me. then he used it over and over again while he fucked a baby into me, slapped my well-bred pussy till i begged him to stop, then held me so tightly. i felt so dazed and safe and feminine in his arms.

it feels so good to have a man respect me enough to give me what i really need, especially when im being brave enough to ask for something i was so afraid to even acknowledge about myself. and it especially feels good when he looks right into my eyes while pounding me and reminding me of the truth.

fuck sorry for multiple asks i literally just cannot stop thinking about being dubbed 'respect anon' its driving me crazy. i can feel my pulse everywhere, but it seems to pool in the places that make me a woman: my clit, my pussy lips, my aching dripping vagina, and my breasts. i can feel my pulse in my fucking nipples. and also usually my temples but thats off theme.

i cant get over how good it feels to be fucked. i never in a million years expected how endlessly perfect it would be, ive found partners that emanate joy together with me and its so much fun and so erotic. the original guy in particular, just takes so much joy in fixing me and in enjoying my cunt, i often end up watching the filthy reactions on his face as he watches my pussy clench around him. he watches us join together as one, my cunt singing with pleasure, i always ask him if theres anything else i can do for him and he almost always says "lay back and take it." like, yes sir!

once i was riding him and his hands were clenching my hips tight, i love riding because it makes my breasts bounce and heave so deliciously. he was staring at them, i was moaning like a bitch in heat feeling him stretch me out in an angle we dont normally do, and suddenly he looked me in the eye and said "you have a womans body." swear if id been on my back i would have orgasmed right then and there. he sometimes goes back and forth in what gendered terms he uses and it keeps my mind spinning with confusion and desperation. we are both bi and im pretty sure our current dynamic is heaven for us both.

there are so many filthy details i want to share with you. feels like i could babble all day about the things that have happened, but it all boils down to this: im a woman, obsessed with taking cock, finally letting herself enjoy some wonderful company, and it wont be long until im the sluttiest pregnant girl grindr has ever seen, hahahah.

respect anon back with one last thought because ive been obsessively rereading your two responses to me so far. when i begged him to refeminize me, "it doesn't even sound like he was surprised." nope! in fact he laughed at me, he laughed and said "fuuck yes." in that moment, i knew that he had already known, and was waiting to see if id admit it. with him, i have this manic energy where i come off completely insane over text, and his steady energy only serves to wind me up more. i think he knew id cave and beg to be detransitioned, my pics are all pretty high femme and lets just say im not ever subtle about my femininity.

the weird thing is, i only have that manic energy with him. i dont know if its because hes genuinely the hottest guy ive ever met, or because he took my virginity, or because he succeeded in breaking my mind. but the other guys ive slept with, while they blow my mind and show me what im for, i dont make such a fool of myself to them.

genuinely with him i have lost all semblance of self-respect and it proves right everything he has ever whispered into my ear.

(Previously)

All that fun you've been having, going from being a virgin to getting inseminated by five different men within a couple months - and nothing ever made you flood like my tagging system? I'm very flattered, Anon! A bit bemused, but flattered.

So much to speak to here, but one part I truly love is that your new life as a woman started with the first man to use your pussy laughing at you. Like your whole identity as a man had been one long joke you were telling, and you'd finally gotten to the punchline.

That's what real respect looks like for you, isn't it, Anon? A man who'll wait for you to finish telling the joke before he laughs.

And the man who made you tell him your real name while he fucked you full of cum... There's a pleasing symmetry to that. He got something out of you and put something into you. He learned what they called you when you were born, and maybe gave you a baby to call your own.

Which is what you're made for, after all. Your body never stops reminding you of that, whether it's with the pain of a bruised cervix or your blood pulsing in your swollen nipples or the unstoppable pleasure of taking a man's cum in your womb. It's little wonder that you've come so far since getting fucked for the first time, little lady: your body was just waiting for the chance to start.

[shojislady]

2. SO SCANDALOUS

"-ess.. princess. wake up, we need to get ready. kacchans making pancakes right now."

grumbling, she turns over to look at her clock. it's 10:15am, izuku let her sleep in a bit. today, the class was going out to the mall then the arcade to have class bonding time. with everything that's gone on, from the USJ incident and the tension from the sports festival, to the fight with stain (where endeavor unfairly took credit, causing the girl to have a "slight" hatred for him), and even the final exams, having to go against All Might with Bakugo and Midoriya, it was just a lot to handle. they're just kids, and kids need breaks.

walking into the bathroom, the girl began her daily morning routine.

"damn.. i look ROUGH..!" she said as she looked in the mirror. her bonnet looked as if it was trying to run away, her tank top was all twisted up, right boob was up in russia while the left one stayed home in america. she had eye boogers all around and her angel bite piercings were no where to be found.

she slept good.

"you know what... let me just wash my face right now and i'll do everything else after i eat."

her face care routine consists of ; black african soap, witch hazel, hydration drops, and a bit of coco butter.

finishing up and putting away her stray boobs, she found one of bakugos stolen hoodies and made her way downstairs.

(i would just like to add that she sleeps in boxers so yk that ass lookin fat 😋)

"good morning guys!" she greeted everyone, with a slight smile and wave. almost everyone was up, with the exception of a few people.

"hii y/n!"

"mornin bestie!!"

"Good Morning, Y/n! Glad to see you awake!"

and so on and so forth

"mornin angel.. im making your pancakes right now, but there's bacon on the tiny burner and i made u a tiny omelette. those burner thingies really come in handy, you know?"

"its a heating tray, katsu. and yes, that's why i bought them." she bought them for holidays like christmas and american thanksgiving, but since there's 21 kids living in one dorm, it's used more than expected.

"is that my fucking hood?? i've been looking for that for weeks!" bakugo exclaimed, turning around to give the girl a plate so that she could fix her food. "when the hell did you even- whatever.. as long as i get it back."

(Spoiler Alert, he doesn't)

"erm.. anyways..! so guys, what time are we supposed to be leaving??" asked y/n, going to take a seat next to shoji.

"Well, we're trying to leave for the mall around 12:45 since it isn't far, then leave the mall no later than 4:30-5." yaomomo began to explain. "I was able to rent the arcade from 6:15 to 10:30, food and drinks included, along with lazer tag , and we get the option of going in the bounce area, so when we get there just let me know."

"damn yaomomo... i knew you was stacked but DAMN!!"

"ong, bro's LOADED.."

"i'm calling you if i need to bailed out of jail."

"honestly guys it's not much, i just want us to have fun and relax as a class while being safe!" yaomomo said with a small smile on her face. she was literally loaded, like pockets so deep they could fit 3 gallons of milk each, pockets so swole they need an ice pack, pockets so fat they need they own TLC show type rich. but even so, she didn't like to flaunt her wealth. she'd rather use her money to pay for gifts and events for her friends, rather than to flex some diamond earrings or a gold necklace. She's still a teen girl though, so she still loves to go shopping. The girl is really just happy that she's found friends that actually love her for her, and not for her money.

"you're so cute yaomomo! i love you!"

"well thank you y-"

"if anyone, i mean ANYONE fucks with you, call me. these hands are rated E for Everyone. my fists are activists. i dont care if they're old, young, tall, short, fine, ugly, gay, straight. I believe in equality, and with equality comes equally distributed ass whoopings jus-"

"OK, n/n! i think momo gets how much you love her! since you're done eating can u help me?" midoriya interrupted the girls small rant.

"you gotta face the consequences of last night huh? you should've listened to me, but yeah i'll help!"

"you dont have to rub salt on the wound!" he whined. "i'll get stuff and meet in your room again?"

"sounds like a plan, izuku!" she replied, getting up to grab her plate and bring to the kitchen.

"OoOh y/n~" jirou began to tease. "last night? your room AGAIN? what scandalous activities have you been up to?"

"chill kyo, its not like that! he messed up his hair on his own and we always hang in my room bc its more.. welcoming.. then his."

"i know, y/n! im jus messin' with ya."

with her plate in hand, y/n walked into the kitchen where bakugo resided. he was cleaning the and putting away the dirty plates before he started to soak the pans.

"so, the nerd fell asleep in your room again huh?" he asked, washing a plate.

"yeah, he started to doze off a little while after you left, so he slept with me."

"i dont know why you guys dont just ask eachother out yet. you two are basically in love with eachother."

"katsuki, you know how i feel, and you know how zuku is. im pretty sure if he would act the same way with the rest of the class as he acts with us if he just trusted them more." she informed, getting ready to wash her plate before bakugo snatched it.

"don't even try it." ever since they could crawl, they've never let the girl lift a finger. hungry? chef katsuki at your service! scraped your knee? Dr.deku to the rescue! and yes, they know that she's the perfectly capable and well off to do these things on her own, but why should she when she has two men to do it for her?

"anyways. we've all known eachother since literally birth. i see things, i observe things. you two are literally inseparable. im pretty sure y'all first words were eachothers names. you know how you act around him, you see with your own two (or four) eyes the way he acts with you, and im pretty sure he peeps it too. just ask eachother out already and stop being pussies for fucks sake!"

"oh my gosh?? shut the fuck up?? you're so damn loud??" she said, slapping him in the back of his neck.

"aye. try me again and we gotta tussle. i'm not deku. i'll will beat the black off you. i strike so much fear into your melanin pigmentation that it will come to me."

"whatever katsuki, u can run me my ones later, i gotta go help zuku now."

"ight then angel, u better be ready. see ya later."

with that, she finally left the kitchen and headed towards her dorm to meet izuku.

.*•

"finally.." the boy sighed. it's now 11:45 am, and they (she) just finished detangling, moisturizing, and somewhat styling his hair. at this point, her fingers and wrists were tired, her back was aching, her feet were sore, and she had the very violent urge to go back to her black roots and pop this nigga with the comb.

"I know damn well YOU not heavy breathing like you did some work. all yo lazy ass did was sit there and watch Netflix. YOU COULDN"T EVEN HOLD THE DAMN SPRAY..."

"I'm sorry, ma. thank you so much, I should've listened to you last night. now do you already have clothes ready? or do you need to pick something out?" he asked, pulling her into a hug and rubbing her back.

".. you better be so lucky i love you. but yes, i need to pick. have u chosen?"

" yup, right before I came to wake you up. so i'll help you if you want?"

"yes please"

taglist: @ast4rg1rl

I FINALLY DID IT YALL..

and i already started the next chapter🙏🏾

well i split this chapter up into 2 to make things easier on me and y'all!!

so if its not out by next week then i'll post something embarrassing 🙏🏾

BUT ILL BE IN DUBAI FOR A WHILE SO JULY 13th IS MY DEADLINE

anywho

when i show outfits and stuff they're just there for ppl like me who can't visualize that well <3

WELL

UNTILL NEXT TIMEE

[ryantryinx]

Tag Game Wednesday! ( OMFG AND ITS STILL WEDNESDAY ) Tagged by @mickeysgaymom and @juliakayyy - You both are the best, I've been so AFK i'm surprised people remember I exist. Holidays got me stressed and depressed -

which character from any media would you like to have as a father?: Joel Miller from The Last Of Us. That man would burn the world to the ground to see you safe.

if money, laws, time, and effort were no object, what animal would you want to have?: A duck, I've wanted a house duck for a long time. Once I actually have a house to keep it in. I will have.

what is your Chinese takeout order?: BBQ short ribs, Crab rangoons

what's your favourite emoji?: Ugh.....I dont use them often, probably <3

would you rather have a library, greenhouse, or home theater in your house?: GREENHOUSE, literally is my only home goal is I must have room for a greenhouse. I am plant dad.

what childhood tv show do you think of the most fondly?: Blues Clues, I may or may not have Mr.Salt, Mrs.Pepper, and Paprika shakers on my oven......and yes Im almost 30. Fuck you don't judge me.

what was your tumblr like when you first joined?: Honestly the same as it is now? Tumblr hasn't really changed. People always been pretty chill.

what clothing style do you love but don't feel compelled to replicate yourself?: Lolita, I've always been fascinated with how cute it is. Just not on me......

if you were plopped into a fictional world, which one would you know the layout of the best?: Middle Earth and the MCU.

what is your favourite piece of art?: Um....Probably this lord of the rings poster my friend made me for my birthday that has a misspelling in it. 6 people looked at it before printing and no one caught it. I love it 1000% more because now its funny as well. it says ' Breafast ' instead of breakfast

do you have a water bottle? what does it look like?: Um....kinda? Do I have a bottle I carry around daily? YES. Is there ever water in it? Fuck no. Usually some sort of tea or energy drink.

what fanfic trope is a quiet fav?: God this one is hard.... Probably enemies to lovers. Mostly anything ' taboo '

do you carry a daily bag? what does it look like? what's the weirdest thing in it?: I carry a sage green canvas bag. It has a trans/pride pin and my pronoun pin on the outside. The weirdest thing in it atm? Probably a half eaten bag of beef jerky? I'm a teacher and I keep a snack in my bag at all times. ATM its jerky. Just incase lunch sucks one day.

If you had to ship Mickey with another Gallagher, who would it be?: Um.....no. The real answer is Mickey wouldn't be with any other Gallagher. Only Ian. The end

what is a fanfic trope you didn't expect to like and then very much did?: Fluff, its the cute cringe sometimes. Like thats not fucking realistic, but some do it right.

Do you think s11 Mickey can still carry s11 Ian?: Absolutely, Mick may be short but have you seen his arms? Man's bustin'. While Ian would pitch a fit about being ' too heavy ' and wouldn't let Mickey do it unless it was needed. Mickey knows he can easily.

who got custody of the killing bat when they sold the house?: Carl; totally takes it to the ' new alibi ' and threatens people with it. I want my answer to be Mickey. Though let's be honest our boy don't need a bat. He's got a glock in the drawer. Tagging anyone who is interested? I haven't been consistently on tumblr lately that I wanna bug people by tagging them randomly. But if you see this and you want to please do!~

[goldentlme]

WELCOME TO PART 2 : THE ULTIMATE SLEEP AWAKE TALENTSWAP ! BEFORE YOURE EYES NOW !!!!! i have . SO much to say about this its mostly me ranting about colours . be WARE !

EDIT I FORGOT TO TAG VENUS @chihirolovebot​ HEYY LOL

typical yelling below ! and Lots of it ! open at your own risk

brought to you by : my mikuification project ! ive spent so much fucking time on that Please . please . ill upload sdr2 when i finish thh and im almost done with it PLEASE !!

OKAY . this took a while . not nearly as long as i expected it to THANK GOD but still a bit . hands downt he most DIFFICULT part of this project was the colour choice .

first of all : these are ordered by the danganronpa v3 wiki character page , which is in alphabetical order by first name except for akamatsu who is at the top .

SECOND OF ALL : the red . physicists colour palette consists of the primay colours of white and olive green , with the secondary colour being black and the accent being gold . fine , right ? WELL its fine for a simple design like the regular physicist , where a 3rd dominant colour isnt needed . Howver most of the rest of thse designs GREATLY needed that 3rd , and i had a bitch of a time trying to figure out what exactly to make it . it took 10 minutes and a colour palette randomizer to give me the most Obvious solution of RED . Their eyes are literally red . How did i not think of that .

anyways youll also see a little but ofyellow in there too - my friend actually suggested that . the yellow on the artist look was already there when i showed this to it and its feedback was that the yellow seeme a little jarring compared to the rest and to add a little more and i said Wowie okay ! the yellow isnt as prevalent as i wanted but its fine as is i think ! other than that i tried to keep the dominant colours to green , black  and red while preserving the general Colour blocking fromthe og . aka white shirt , green bottoms , black shoes . it didnt always work that way but it did most of the time !

OH and i also changed the colours here and there depending on what looked best in the moment . mainly astronauts purple graphic shirt and anthropologists brown shorts . originally astronauts socks were purple but that friend from earlier said it clashed so i switched it over [: the main colour on any one design depends entirely on what i thought looked best when i was colouring .

OK NO MORE COLOUR TALK . my favs are absolutely magician , detective , maid and anthropologist . Theyre so skrunkly .

idk if its obvious but i was kinda running out of steam while designing the last 2 , aka the aikido master and cosplayer . the way i did this was doing the lineart first all in one go and Then colouring them all soi dont get too hung up on one specific part , and designing those last 2 was So hard . some of these talents Were nightmares trying to design for , because the whole point behind this was 1: to make sleep awake fanart and 2: to practice outfit design while keeping the characters personality , tastes and colour palette . some talents dont really fit the reader , like maid , assassin or leader ( supreme leader is so weird of a talent name btw ) and i had to alter their persoality a bit to make it work . where others were just , kind of . not very tangible ? or have no specific visual references to go off of like entomologist , anthropologist or adventurer . so i got a little creative i guess .

THE DETAIL NOTES MY BELOVED !

- if it isnt obvious I have a very clear idea of what readers fashion sense would be . aka Minimal layering , SHORTS !!!! , gloves when possible , tall socks <3 and comfort above all else .

- most designs have a clearly visible pocket or pouch where their notepad is . usually the notepad is visible ! AND everyone DOES have the ring . the only 3 places i put them were necklace , finger and as an earring

- THE PLAID !!! designing the leader was already hard enough bc itsone of those non tangible talents . So i said What if ouma and reader had matching freak outfits and used oumas beta designs as reference ! the plaid is supposed to be readers checker print , and its onlyused in this and the adventurer . also i just really love berets

- MAGICIAN HAS A CARD EARRING AND IM OBSESSED WITH IT . its also onthe gay ear SMILE !

- maid .... was hard . i actually had 2 different versions of that fit and had to have my friends choose for me </3 heres the alt version sketch

FOR NOW ? i think thats all . my brain is running on empty rn bc im writing this the day before posting like idk half an hour after typing up the sprites post . i might come back and add more later if i feel like it but for now im done .

as always , thank you for reading ! ( u can really see where i got my physicist music taste headcanon from )

[bixxelated]

WIP Meme: List the titles/filenames/descriptions of your WIPs and tell us a little bit about them/wail about them/beg for inspiration/whatever you want! Then tag some people for a no-obligation mutual wailing/cheering/complaining session!

when i got tagged by @marypsue i thought oh! this should be a short and easy list! i dont got a lot of wips im working on rn but... turns out... i am drowing in a sea of plot bunnies and there is no land in sight

all these acts of violence epilogue: stranger things s3 fic exploring an alternative scenario where mike and not el is the one to get bitten by the mindflayer, and the ripple effect that has on the finale. not to toot my own horn but i am really proud of this fic! and i am working on the last chapter! i promise! endings are just hard to write thats all!

wavelength: also known as the [redacted] au, this originally started as a 'for-want-of-a-nail' stranger things s1 fic but soon started to spin wildly out of control because i have no patience to rewrite everything as was in canon and am now running wild trying to think of new and interesting ways to subvert the story

*insert placeholder fic name here*: side story to acts of violence exploring the rest of the gang's reactions after the aftermath of starcourt and chapter 13 specifically.

*insert placeholder fic name no. 2 here*: st oneshot taking place 4 years before s1, wherein a broken hopper comes to hawkins to take over the retiring chief of police's post, and joyce byers finds herself with her hands full trying to help her old friend while also desperately trying to keep afloat her deteriorating marriage.

alebrijes: also known as That One Story From Childhood That Everyone's Trying To Bring To Life. takes place in a fictional country full of myths and magic (inspired by mexican culture eyyy), where a girl who goes on a quest to find her missing father finds out about a sinister plot targeting the magic and magical creatures of the land, and discovers that her family may be more tied to this plot than she realizes. this is meant to be a long-running comic that im hoping to (fingers crossed) f i n a l l y start on this year but i still have a lot of outlining and tweaking to do for the story

boundaries: an original story that rn consists mostly of vague ideas and LOTS of nonsensical sketches. takes place in a post-apocalyptic world where society is starting to recover from total environmental collapse, but class divide means that life outside of the prospering cities is full of hardship and a mishmash of cyberpunk tech advances cobbled together from the remains of the society of before. featuring pretty overgrown ruins full of body-horror monsters! hoverboard technology and holograms! motorcycles and punk scavengers and a soundtrack of rock music and what not! imma be honest not sure what sort of medium to make with this? maybe a faux video game trailer or something

*insert placeholder fic name no. ???*: short coming-of-age story about a soon-to-be-15-year-old teenage girl in mexico city trying to cope with the expectations society has about her womanhood, and the new all-female werewolf pack she accidentally finds herself running with in the urban metropolis

i have more ideas but these are ones that have really taken my brain over asjdghklskdhksj. uh i tag @mysterygreentea @sakurablossomcreamlatte @alzheimersparrotroute @khattikeri @variakura @sappyart to talk about your own projects if you like!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)

-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/

-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules

-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.

-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO

-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3

-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.

-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.

-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x

-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son

-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.

-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised

-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?

-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.

-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.

-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!

-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???

-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)

-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!

-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.

-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?

-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.

-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)

-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh

-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.

-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3

-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.

-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.

-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao

-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.

-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.

-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)

-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...

-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)

-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously

-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.

-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤

[jcfoxington]

@sambambucky​ : “pls... Pastels, Peaches and Pain??? among us first draft??? marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts (it’s not an au!?!??!)

hi jo !!! Pastels, Peaches, and Pain is one of those sambucky wips i have mostly fully fleshed out in my head because of one (1) extreme moment of clarity after a rogue ‘what if’ tangent thought but havent written anything of yet out of restraint / knowing i need to finish at least one of my current sambucky wips before i start it or none of them will get done

this was the rogue tangent thought: “what if Sam is haunted by Figaro’s ghost and has been since he was a kid?”. i’ve changed the ghost cat to not be Figaro but that’s the premise !

i refer to the fic as the cat fic ‘cause the whole plot is based around sam’s ghost cat companion insisting he adopts nat’s cat Liho after endgame and then Figaro later and then [insert redacted because plot spoilers but just know it relates to Alpine]. no im not projecting my feelings about cats idk what youre talking about 

here’s some note snippets just for you:

the cat, inexplicably, takes a liking to bucky, which is really annoying bc sam doesnt know how to explain to him that all the oddly soft gusts of wind are actually sam's dead cat insisting on getting pats

bucky getting shade thrown at him by said ghost cat during all of tfatws + them making up (and not out. yet)

starts when sam's a kid & follows him as he grows up w/ a ghost kitty as a companion only he can see & interact with + angst with an undertone of comedy + getting together

he whispers to ghost kitty, who simply mmrrs happily

for the among us first draft thing, what basically happened is i saw this tweet and this video and my brain latched onto these dynamics so hard i had to write about them. 

here’s a sketch of my two main imposters, Black (left) and Cyan (right):

and here’s a snippet:

The thing having Cyan pause and stare out at the asteroid field is how the colors stretch to family. When they and Black came aboard, they had thought every crewmember was an adult working on the planet-change project. That the patch of off-white with a black something-pattern-or-shape signified status. In a way, Cyan supposes it does, but just not the way they expected. They had expected it to show what rank an individual held within the hierarchy of the crew, from deckhand to division leader to captain, not to show that you're family of the crew and not actually part of the crew itself. 

There are innocents on this ship. Children. It was not something any of them had anticipated, and not something Cyan had been prepared to deal with. They and Black boarded this horrible place to eradicate a threat, believing each and single one of the humans were accomplishes and dedicated to the goal of destroying Cyan and Black's species, and their planet. But, now?

marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts... doesn’t have a wip title or seperate document for itself yet cause it’s been stuck in my ‘story ideas’ document since its creation. so ‘marvel meets warframe meets a bunch of tumblr posts’ is literally just me describing the vibe of an original world gjkerfkds

the world came to be for two reasons. firstly, i want to do make take on a superhero universe because the plot and complete lack of communication in both the dcu and mcu piss me the fuck off. secondly, needed a place to dump ocs with elaborate backstories or fantasy / sci-fi abilities that dont fit into any of my existing worlds

which sounds super competent but trust me, it isn’t. it didn’t gain any solidity at all until i decided to do a personal ‘how different can i make spn castiel look & still retain the same vibe?’ challenge. i have my own cas now

however, the reason i said ‘marvel meets...’ is because i’ve snagged a couple of different things from the mcu, most notably: enemies to reluctant coworkers to lovers, yes our best friend have the same name. no they’re not the same person, secret evil org is controlling the government, and the assassin that tried to kill you several times is now your best friend

warframe was added to the world because i got attached to my Volt build, gave them a name, and have some headcanons idk what to do with because i refuse to interact with that fandom. also because the friend i made through discussing warframe lore + plot dicked me over so it feels Bad to create for

the glue to this whole mess is that one “in every friend group there’s a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, a she/they, a he/they, a himbo, an astrology bitch, a short king, and a token straight” tumblr post. my main group of superheroes ala the avengers consist of these people. the token straight is the only one i havent figured out who is yet

ever since i figured that out ive been throwing story / character ideas and weirdly specific aesthetics from popular tumblr posts into this world’s notes. here’s some examples:

sword grandmas

that trope where someone’s really nice and acts super well-adjusted to society but then they do something super whack and dangerous and you realize ‘oh they’re secretly a little bit insane, actually’

anti-gay group’s leader’s wife leaves him for another woman

superhero who swore to be the best hero [city / planet / solar system / continent / ????] has ever seen ever since he lost his wife. not because she’s dead but divorce just sucks & the hero-to-be is terrible at coping

dishevelled swamp witch

that one person who runs around with an amulet all the time & isn’t aware it’s cursed

an exasperated, tired superhuman assassin running after their husband and their husband's best friend. their husband and said husband's best friend both have wings. chaos ensues (yes, this one is a sambucky post)

ask me about my WIPs!

BONUS:

@sambambucky​​ : #i want to have a coffee and listen to synopses of all of these.... #i miss the discord wow #WRITING TAG #waitttt time jumping dream movie? lmao I'VE READ THIS LIST FORTY TIMES and every time i rediscover something i wanna know about #outfit doodlesss ugh i need to go

couldnt not respond to your tags because they make me go ghrkjfnerknf but in the good way. we miss you too jo !!

the time jumping dream movie was one of the first vivid dreams i had and the whole thing was so stupidly coherent and whacky i had to write it down. it grew plot, a queer love dynamic, weird sci-fi apocalypse elements, anti-military propaganda, questionable science, and a sequel while i wasnt looking and now i just. have to make it a real movie or i’ll combust

outfit djoodlles.png is only on there because my best friend sent me a ‘draw this outfit’ meme and space kitty, my current character brainrot, stole all the outfits for himself. otherwise, that file just sits there until im feeling like designing an outfit or wanna see how a stupid thing looks on my oc patrick

here’s one of the two poses-to-doodle-outfits-on of space kitty ive made so far:

and here’s one of those stupid things on patrick (that then turned into an actual outfit of his because i have no self control):

[frillshark-fr]

How do you get people to always buy your dragons? Genuine question

i was gonna say something like “haha i have no fucking clue” but that would be a lie i think about this a lot actually so i might have some insights i’ve been breeding dragons as my primary activity on FR since i started playing FR (in 2014...) and people have only started actually buying dragons from me consistently like, 5-6 months ago, despite 2-3 attempts at running a genuine hatchery onsite that always died due to lack of interest & not really being worth the effort. 

so ive thought a lot about what the hell is happening now and why my dragons are suddenly consistently selling and I think ive come down to these being the main points of advice i can give: 1. make friends! be friendly! don’t be weird! be a cool and fun person to interact with! 2. post consistently. post your dragons consistently. post about other stuff consistently. just be an active member of the community 3. POST YOUR SHIT IN THE “#FLIGHT RISING” TAG. THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TRUELY HELPFUL THING I SAY IN THIS POST 4. make pairs that are sexy as hell and be openly proud of them. make dragons and pairs that you like, not what you think will necessarily sell. people can tell when you like stuff and being genuinely passionate about something, whatever the fuck it is, will get other people passionate as well longer versions/explanations under the cut because man this got a mile long. i wasn’t kidding when i said i think about this a lot and i am so sorry if you wanted something concise and useful

1. to be a little glib. i am mutuals/friends with more clout in the FR community than I do kjdshfdsfdhjhkfdf shoutout to everyone who draws their dragons really good on a regular basis because i am riding on your coattails to sell my dragons. i love you this was never my intent, obviously! DO NOT BEFRIEND PEOPLE BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU WILL GET STUFF FROM THEM IT’S JUST A REALLY BAD THING TO DO TO PEOPLE!!! i wouldn’t be friends w/ people if i didn’t genuinely like and get along with them! no amount of pixel cash is worth putting up with people you dont like or abusing people you admire!  but i’d also somehow feel wrong to just... neglect mentioning this factor. idk it’s probably a self-esteem thing sjdkgfhdsf i just Don’t feel like my #success has been totally out of my own effort because its not like im #hustling or whatever i just posted dragons and stuff happened

-----

2. being consistent! just. posting consistently! posting Every Hatchling I Have and Talking About Them On Tumblr!  Once I had a couple nests just sell super fast likely due to aforementioned clout, i was emboldened to just post more of my nests more often and I swear this has more effect than anything else. i just needed the self-esteem boost to Start Doing That posting consistently makes ppl follow u for ur content which gets even more people to look at your dragons which gets more people to buy your dragons.

-

2a. Also just post a lot in general, even if you aren’t necessarily posting about your dragons for sale. it definitely helps! just be friendly and active and people will come

-----

3. post your shit in the tag. not in “#dragon-sales” or “#fr-dragon-sales” or anything weird like that because I don’t know if anyone actually looks at those, but people definitely browse “#flight rising”. no matter how many followers you have, more people will see your content if you post it in #flight rising than if you just chuck it into the void. 

-

3a. however! do not put links into the post if you want it to actually show up in the tag. tumblr is cool in that it doesn’t actually matter that much when you post something, the same way it really matters on twitter bc twitter has algorithms that decide for you what it thinks you want to be seeing whereas tumblr just shows you everything in chronological order. if you post something into the tag at 1am... it will still be there at 2pm when people log on and start scrolling.

the only thing tumblr seems to consistently hide from a tag (and possibly a dashboard, but idk) are posts with links in them, as a half-assed attempt to limit spam. instead of linking to your sales tab/to the dragons directly in the post, reblog it with the links instead. to reduce latency between a post going up and the links being available, i type out the links in the initial post, cut them, post the thing into the tag, then very quickly reblog, paste the links, and post the reblog jdhfsdf. i don’t know if that benefits anything really? but it can sometimes take me a while to type links, so if i posted, pressed reblog, typed up all the links, then posted, it’d be like ~15 minutes where someone may see the post, think “oh i would like to buy those dragons”, then can’t find the link, think “oh well, i will just find it later”, scroll on, and just... completely forget about it. so uh. go quick?

-

3b. the armchair sociologist in me also thinks self-reblogging has the added benefit of like... you know how people are more likely to tip a barista when a dollar is already in the tip jar? or how people are more likely to take one of those little tabs on a flyer if one of them is already missing? i think that works with notes, too. i don’t know why i think that or why it happens i just swear once a post gets 1 note, suddenly it gets Even More Notes, and if it doesn’t get any notes for a while it will sit at 0 notes until the end of time. so giving yourself 1 obligatory note makes people more likely to interact. i think

-----

4. all of these are hard to quantify but this one is especially so: have cool and unique dragons. make your pairs sexy as hell. don’t put all your eggs (hah) into the one basket of selling dragons that are technically “popular”. we have all seen triple white/triple obsidian/triple orca/triple any other popular colors and cherub/pere/stained or wasp/bee/glim pthahlos or whatever. they’re pretty! we get it! but everyone has had one and everyone has had those pairs and market for dragons like that can be super oversaturated. try to break free from that and sell dragons that people can only get from you. I can’t tell you what to do though bc that rly depends on you. make pairs that you find exciting or interesting and people will feel that. i have a very specific theme and aesthetic that i don’t feel like is especially common on FR and i am genuinely very enthusiastic about it. marine shit is my Thing:tm: both on and off FR and dragons are one of my many ways of expressing that   if you have a Thing:tm:, either some fr-centric aesthetic (like being super into plague or earth or light or something) or something more general (such as any of the -punks or -cores)... just fuckin roll with it honestly. if you’re goth? make got h dragons. like scene stuff that looks straight out of a middle school in 2010? rock that hot-topic lair. outdoorsey type? make dragons that look like you’d meet them on a hike in the woods. it really works with anything!  people can tell when you really love something and i know that seeing someone really love something, even if it’s not necessarily MY thing, makes me really excited too!! 

-

4a. never show fear. people can smell fear. never be like “well this one isn’t that good” because suddenly now you’ve planted the idea that it’s ugly in other people’s heads when they may have really liked it had you not accidentally suggested to them that it’s an ugly dragon. people are EXTREMELY suggestible to even VERY minor cues so be always a little bit bolder than you think you should be you’d be surprised at how many times ive been like “eh, this one’s kind of a dud, i’ll probably have to exalt this one when the auction expires” and then that hatchling is the first to sell. never ever ever ever decide what other people like for them. always act like your dragons are the hottest shit in all the land and Believe It. this is what people mean when they say “fake it till you make it”

- 4b. also, idk if it’s true of everyone but it’s really off-putting to see someone having serious pity-parties for themselves, on sales posts or otherwise. ive had bad experiences with people who are uncomfortably quick to self-depreciate (because they were using their genuine self-hatred to manipulate me or my friends), so i might be a little more trigger-happy about avoiding this behavior than others, but don’t weaponize your sadness to guilt people into doing what you want. it’s really not cool.

-----

okay i think that’s my entire manifesto on how i do dragon selling. anon i am so sorry im sure you were expecting like “believe in yourself :)” and here i am dissecting dragon selling like it’s a frog in a science class

edit: AFTER ALL THAT I STILL THOUGHT OF ONE MORE THING. It’s not really a Point, just a Reminder:

i don’t post about all the times i have to exalt dragons that don’t sell. you are seeing me being very selective about what i post. you dont sit and stare at my lair or click through offspring lists or check old sales posts. there are a lot of times where someone just doesn’t sell. even now when i’m selling stuff pretty consistently i will still sometimes have dragons that don’t sell for seemingly no reason. even dragons I think are sure to sell will sometimes just... not. and that’s ok! you gotta just be.. ok with that. it’s par for the course. i typically list dragons for 7 days on the AH, give them a couple more days after their auction expires (partially because i forget, partially to give them a grace period for people to pm/ask me about them), and then exalt them after that point. w/ some dragons that i don’t think got a fair shake for one reason or another (such as the sales post not showing up in the tag or something) i do a little clearance (like the halloween dragons i recently posted) but for the most part if they don’t sell, i just exalt them. 90% of the time i don’t even bother to level them up i just press the exalt button and call it a day. it’s fine

[mspainttaz]

Sell me on TMA i have all the time in the world rn by my executive dysfunction refuses to start things without help.

first off i really feel the struggle youre having here starting new things is. awful. i just cant tbh

okay: why to listen to TMA, under a cut because why not.

tldr? its good quality, low emotional investment is demanded of you to start due to the simple nature of its algorithm and the gradual story/world building, the writing is interesting and the episodes are short with good atmosphere. if spooky gets to you too badly, dont worry because theres a trigger warning list somewhere on the internet, and the writing is respectful.

tma selling points:

its good and consistent quality from the beginning. its a simple answer but honestly the hardest part of getting into new stuff FOR ME is the first few episodes where im Put Off by trying to understand this new tone, all while the creators are still figuring out what theyre doing which... makes for a rough start sometimes.

tma has a very simple algorithm. dude named jonathan sims is working at a place that collects peoples accounts of “possibly supernatural encounters”, he’s recording himself reading off the story, (or its a recording direct from the person), he tells you what research they’ve done on the subject, the end. here and there you get to hear about the stuff thats going on at the place jon works at, building a second layer of storytelling to the whole thing. its fun, its easy to listen to, and 

you dont have to get super invested right away. just turn on this podcast where they, in like idk twenty minutes?? tell you about something Scary that happened to Someone Else and that has no effect on you or your life but still has all the chilling atmosphere and Very good writing that makes it an enjoyable time. i mean YEAH it gets scarier and more personal later but by then youre ready for it.

this one is a personal note but, like, i get it. its intimidating seeing the fandom being So Passionate because it gives the message that you too!! have to gear up to get super into this wonderful fantastic compelling emotional heartbreaking story uwu. nothing wrong with fandom being passionate thats....... what its there for...... but that specifically has made it hard for me to get into new things before.

just let yourself enjoy it at your own pace tbh. i really enjoyed it before i got overwhelmed by fandom stuff and took a very long break but like. block all the tma tags, hit play,and have fun. thats my advice.

you get to hear someone try to sound spooky while reading off the required licencing info at the end of the podcast and its pretty funny but endearing

the writing is good. the voice acting is good. jonny sims knows his stuff and he really enjoys what he does and it comes out in what he creates.

if you dont like one or more of the stories/statements? look up the triggers list for the episodes to get mostly spoiler free warnings. or skip the statement part of the episodes you dont Vibe With and just listen to the bits at the end where you get to hear about jonathan sims and friends wacky adventures. yes the creator is named jon sims and the person he voices in this podcast is also named jon sims. sorry.

others have said this but i will too: its respectful horror. 

no sexual assault, misogyny, racism, able-ism, homophobia, etc is used as a punchline or as the shock factor. aka the main reason i dont care about the comedy or horror or... lots of other movie genres. its just not funny. literally the first statement that even mentions sex is this guy going “yeah we were both totally on board but she seemed to be going through some personal stuff and so i kept checking she was cool with it, i wanted to be respectful” and then cutaway to afterwards.

or like. theres a statement with a characters with a skin picking disorder WHICH is like. hm. a triggering topic for a lot of people but also my favorite statement there is. as someone with a skin picking disorder, i was Not Expecting to have to confront This Subject and so was a little taken aback at first like. no one talks about this stuff yanno. but i personally didnt find it disrespectful, or misinformed, or too triggering. which. idk man good for jonny for making that Work.

executive dysfunction hates starting new things like oil and water so if you dont listen to it because your brain simply is Not ready to lease space to a new podcast yet? thats cool too. if you do though i hope you enjoy it because its a good podcast and it makes you think which like, right now? i think we could all use more stuff in our lives that keeps our brains active and thinking. 

[katierosefun]

hi how are u : )

quick writing q, how did you come up with original characters? are they star wars characters or just like general?

i feel like i have ideas but like. struggle to make them into people. if that makes sense.

hiya!!! i’m good, hope you’re doing well!!! (and thank you for asking this question because,,,you should know i geeked out temporarily because someone’s asking me about original characters??? whooo boy!!!) 

also...things got lengthy (again), so i added all this under the cut!

okay, so i have like one (1) star wars original character named eiko, who i introduced in time, wondrous time. introducing eiko took a while and it was a lot of me being super anxious and kind of lowkey scared because...star wars fans tend to be a little protective, and sometimes original characters aren’t that well-liked, especially because of that fear of “mary sue”-ness and etc. 

so in the case of a star wars original character and to avoid the problems specific to and inherent to all the problems we run into with original characters in fanfic writing, i just kind of. make sure that she’s actually got some traits that! people can mostly relate to! 

so for instance, eiko’s just a very anxious kid who wants to be a good padawan, but: 

how do you be a good padawan anyways when there were already so many amazing jedi who walked the path  before you?

how do you handle those expectations? 

are you harder on yourself because of it? probably. 

do you glow when given compliments? absolutely.

and i guess when making a star wars original character, or an original character in any pre-established fandom, then you really want to make sure that if they’re connected to a canon character in some way, the canon character gets a storyline of their own. 

the canon character and the original character can rely on each other from time to time, but i think it would be kinda boring if the original character just followed around canon characters and never figured things out for themselves. 

basically: we want your original character to have some independence away from the canon characters.

how do they act when they’re alone? 

what do they do in their free time? those are things to think about when you’re trying to better grasp an original character in a pre-existing fandom.

but in terms of writing original original characters, i have this thing where like. i just take a singular personality trait that (usually) i have and dial it up to 100000. because, as one of my own friends likes to say, we contain multitudes. there are so many lives and so many different facets of you that are sometimes fighting for the spotlight--and sometimes, i like to give those different facets a little bit more of a voice in original characters. 

because really, chances are, those little bits of you that are still hiding around the corners? those traits are sometimes more exemplified in other people. so, like, if that was confusing (which i know it was), a quick example: 

i will be the first to admit that sometimes, i can be an incredibly rude person. (idk how much of a surprise that is to people. i hope it’s a bit of a surprise, because i don’t like to be rude.) 

and of course, there are tons of very, very, very rude people in real life. the reason why i’m not rude 24/7 is because there’s a part of me that dials it down a quick notch. but there are people out there who don’t have that dial, and they’re able to exist relatively freely just being the rude people they are. 

so that’s kinda where i start in making my characters feel a little more real/also a little more diverse in character! 

because as one of my creative writing instructors once told me, writers tend to be a quiet bunch. and i think anything we write--including characters--tend to reflect huge parts of ourselves, so imagine if we just had a cast of quiet characters who twiddled their thumbs all the time. that’s not a good story, and those aren’t always very dynamic characters. so have fun! take one singular trait that you find intriguing about yourself or in in others and say to yourself, “okay, but what if i dialed it up?” see where it gets you!

but i guess if we want to talk more about how to make characters feel like more real people, then i guess it goes down to the age-old question all writers need to ask when looking at their characters: 

what does your character want?

think about it. anything your character wants is what is ultimately going to drive them forward to do what they’re going to do. act the way they’re going to act, say what they’re going to say. 

there’s a story that i wrote a while back about a girl who’s the daughter of an assassin. she wants to be a lawyer, while her mom wants her to follow the family business and become an assassin as well. 

so how does the mom act? the mom does everything in her power to get her daughter to be excited about being an assassin--lets her in on interrogation rooms, takes her to a shooting range, gets increasingly frustrated and turns up the denial denial denial mode every time her daughter talks about the possibility of law school. 

the daughter? the daughter does everything in her power to make sure her mom knows that she doesn’t want to be an assassin. she deliberately lounges around during the interrogation, she misses all the targets on the shooting range on purpose, etc. 

so, in essence: your characters have to want something first. as soon as they want something, the rest will slowly come to place. even if you’ve never been an assassin or the relative of one, you still probably relate to at least the feeling of wanting something badly, and all people know that feeling too! it’s real, and it’s human to want something. 

combine that want with, idk, the type of background you have for your characters (and there’s a ton of different resources on developing that specifically), and soon, you’ll find yourself writing/communicating/tearing your hair out with a much more fleshed-out character.

and, if you’ve done all these and you still want to know a little more about your character, another thing to flesh out original characters/stories: 

1. write fanfic of them. no, seriously, do it. sometimes you can’t really write your big story/novel/whatever right away, but you have a very specific scene or you want to reimagine them in a different setting and just play around with them. that’s okay! what are they like in a modern day high school au? in a coffeeshop au? play around with it, and see what’s consistent (do they meet the same people in the same manner over and over again? do they like to listen to one specific kind of music? do they still talk funny? do they still wear x?) 

2. make playlists! like...music is personally one of my big inspirations, so this is where i usually throw in some good old playlists. more times than not, i’m able to write with my original characters with my original character’s specific playlist playing in the background. (and it’s wonderful! i have one character playlist that’s almost solely musical/disney music because she’s a very innocent kind of gal, while another playlist is very heavy punk/rock because that’s Just How She Is.)

3. write incorrect quotes! you know the ones i’m talking about--there are so many incorrect quote blogs on tumblr. i have a separate, private sideblog here on tumblr that’s completely dedicated to writing incorrect quotes of my original characters. i sometimes post screenshots of them here too, although i haven’t done that in a while. but incorrect quotes are fun, and they might give you a good idea of the kind of characters/archetypes you want them to fit into! 

(and, because i can’t resist, here’s an example from my own original characters:) 

galen: andrea, i need you to swear to me--

andrea: shit

galen: 

galen: i meant swear like promise, andrea //

rosalind: crushes are the worst 

dae: yeah, whenever i’m near one, i just start acting nervous 

rosalind: you’re always nervous 

dae: ...don’t think too hard 

myung, tired: bold of you to assume rosalind thinks

4. alternatively, make a whole private side blog dedicated to your original characters and reblog/tag the posts that remind you of them. like, you know the “[x] characters as tumblr posts”? yeah. i do that a lot. so, just because i really can’t resist, some more examples: 

“Bro, We Are Rivals . Its Ok To Pin ME Up Against A Wall . Im Ur Nemesis . I Hate You . ... Bro, We Are Kissing Now . . No Dont Stop Bro .. Bro ... // @gayarsonist 

oh so you’re just going to wear a black turtleneck?? like some kind of slut?? // @allergic-alien 

and sometimes, i’ll use that blog to also reblog poetry that resonates with my original characters/gifsets of actors/actresses that i would fancast as my original characters. (like,,,did i look at ewan mcgregor in mortdecai and gratuitously tag him as a villain character in one of my wips? yeah. yeah, i did. it’s fun writing that villain character now, though. :)) 

and those are all the tips that i have!!! i hope that helps!!! have fun writing, friend!!

[selfcareparker]

(lovely anon) ok so this may sound so dramatic but; let me paint you a picture: i’m responding to your latest message, sitting on the edge of the sofa. i type in “lovely anon” into the search and see this longgg post come up and i’m like uhhh... i scroll down and see the people you tagged and literally. when i saw @ lovely anon. i . cried . like full on tears. my brother goes “what are you doing” “she tagged meeeee” and he continued what he was doing and didn’t care LMAOO but i was so emotional? i love and appreciate you too and aAH IM CRYING!! you’re just really sweet and i didn’t expect it at all and it was really lovely to be a part of something :’)

the kermit pic sent meee but yes yes yes!! when you start uni let me know, lol i’m so excited for you!! let me know how it goes cuz i’m literally hype hahah & yes we will be in our sad corners of the world, missing england but you’re right it’ll be sooooo worth it in the end!!! and oH i’m glad you talk to them lol i truly thought you like haven’t seen them/haven’t spoken to them this whole time😭 that would’ve been awful!

also i totallyyy get what your saying about the english speaking thing. and idk why you’re insecure (well i *knowww* bc it’s not your first language and you’re studying it in college so yuh) but your english is great :)))

lol yeah that makes sense.. my mom took french in college and she remembers NOTHING HDJSHSJ (the fact that you wanna learn MORE languages i- ahh i so admire you.. you literally know so many languages🥺) yea i mean you know a bunch of languages bc you know the base of words lol, but i wonder if because you know latin it’ll be easier for you to learn french? oh- oh wait you said it’ll be easier HAHHAHA

THERES SO MUCH EXCITING STUFF TO TALK ABOUT HDGSJSJSL it’s so wild to me that you can’t watch chaos walking :( i’m a professional hacker tho so i’ll try and find a way for you LMAO (by professional hacker i mean i literally have gotten multiple free trials and i’m pretty sure the hulu police are after me bUT ITS THEIR FAULT BC WHY IS IT SO EXPENSIVE???) i mean the movie was good? and cute? and funny? but yea don’t think it’s gonna be the most fantastic thing haha AND THE DOGGO AWWW (i saw it again today- or my today lol, saturday, aND THESE OLD PEOPLE CAME AND SAT IN FRONT OF ME AND MY FRIEND LIKE ITS A LONG STORY LMK IF YOU WANNA HEAR IT)

SHARK FILMS?!?!! PLEASE READING THIS I HAD NO IDEA YOU WOULD LIKE SHARK MOVIES TOO FHSKSHSHDJDJGAJAYSJS ok so i haven’t seen any of the classics (i’m working on it) but i would probably watch jaws to laugh at it? not like that lmao but like comparing it. OKAY BUT HONESTLY I BARELY KNOW ANYONE WHO LIKES SHARK FILMS AHHH OKAY im adding “the shallows” to my watchlist bc it sounds super good AND SAME AHSJD ANY BODY OF WATER IN A MOVIE I JUST KNOW ITS COMING LMAO watch me not go in the water anymore after seeing that picture HHDJSJ

WHEN I READ THIS I JUST GOT DONE TALKING TO MY MOM ABOUT THE MEG AND THAT SCENE WHERE THE SHARKKK JUMPEDDDD AND ATE THE OTHER ONEEEE AND THEN JONAS HAD TO DO- bro i cannot (i think that one is my favorite because i love me a bit of romance and the subtle romance hAD ME) 47 meters down PHEW could you imagine?? i try not to think too hard about it i’m like “don’t be dumb catherine, don’t put yourself in a dumb situation” (not autocorrect having “dumb bitch” ready i am not lying) and i literally understand... there is no other way to explain 47 meters down

i CANNOT watch horror movies, can’t can’t can’t, i literally hate them i cannot do it!!! the thrill is tempting and it’s cool in the moment but i cant lmao. i don’t have nightmares about scary things (for the majority of the time) but going to sleep i’m like oooohhhhhh shit 🥲 literally what you explained

music !!!! music !!!! music !!!! (u ever write a word and now it looks weird lmao) MY BROTHER DOESNT LIKE MUSIC AND ITS SHIT IM LIKE WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU- anyway, my music taste is all over the place i mean......... it’s crazy. earlier today i was listening to meghan trainor’s album “title” oUT OF NOWHERE, but just a few minutes ago i was listening to fall in love with me by earth wind and fire soooo lol .. megan is *chefs kiss*, i’m not familiar with stormzy🙈, harry styles.... IM SORRY IM THAT PERSON but i don’t listen to his solo music EEK i only listen to adore you... and not that frequently... the music video freaked me out... i like niall’s solo music a lot more, which i listen to a lot more. now. one direction. favorite. please & thank you. i have a playlist called “boy bands” and it consists of one direction and the vamps (obsessed with cherry blossom btw) but as you can see my taste is all over the place!! fr fr if i sent you what apple music has as my “favorites” it went from ariana grande to carrie underwood to glee (OBSESSED DONT LET ME TALK ABOUT IT) i mean please if you let me i will nonstop (hamilton HDJSH) talk about music all day😩 & NOOO UR MUSIC IS GREAT HAHSK IM NOT A BIG RAP PERSON BUT DOJA CAT IS MY FAVORITE!!

okay good, i’m glad :) i was just nervous that you did feel that way <3 and GOT IT HAHAJ healthy pressure is always good :’) my friend got me these pens cuz i love stationary and school supplies lol and was like “now you have to write something” soooo yea i feel that! and i saw you posted the ficcccccc literally so proud of you 🥺🥺 i’m trying to decide if i read it tomorrow or tonight..... sleep or a literal beautiful creation made by the sweetest person and is v v nice smut and college!peter and 4.7k...... sleep aint really calling no more.

GIRL ALL OF MY SENTENCES ARE TOO LONG HAHAHAH IN FACT THIS IS TOO LONG SOOO (also why am i 3 days late..😑) anywho it’s 1 in the morning so <33 lovely anon

🥰

oh my god the fact that you cried nearly made me cry too😭😭🥺🥺 (also, your brother LMAO), i wasn‘t even sure if you‘d see it but i immediately thought of you so of COURSE i included you <333

the hulu police lsjsjaiaik, girl i was ready to get a hulu membership when i wanted to watch big time adolescence and i couldn‘t find it anywhereee, and when i got to the payment it said i need a bank account that‘s based in the US or whatever. like bro i was about to pay you!! but i was forced to find it somewhere (and i did, on levidia,— not that i‘ve ever used it because it‘s illegal 😤 i would never!!! i‘d rather support billion dollar companies and spend my money on watching films that i can find for free 🥰🥰🥰 not

i‘ve found chaos walking online so i‘ll watch it som time this week!! also YES TELL ME THE STORY

okay so idk if you watched/are planning on watching falcon and winter soldier but i watched the first episode the other day and they were speaking french (just a few seconds) and I UNDERSTOOD SOME WORDS DLDJDJ and i was so proud of myself. i‘ve only ever learned french with duolingo lol (i only do like 5 mins a day and that‘s why i was so surprised that i understood some of it!!). and yeah apart from latin i feel like italian, german, french and english are all similar in a sense.. i mean obviously they‘re completely different languages but for example there are some grammatical constructions in french that i think i wouldn‘t understand if i only spoke english? so when i translate those things into english you can‘t directly translate them bc you say things differently, but when i translate them into german then it makes more sense to me. idk that‘s something i noticed so i feel like if you already know multiple languages it‘s easier to learn another language compared to if you only know one language and are trying to learn a second one. even if the languages aren‘t similar then i think you get the hang of it easier.

ikd slsjsjs also i don‘t want you to think that i‘m a linguistic genius or anything lmfao, like i‘m only fluent in english and german and i‘m just a wannabe (ew that word) polyglot sksj (yes i had to google polyglot— i do think learning ancient greek would be super cool tho? like imagine studying latin AND ancient greek, whew). and honestly i don‘t think i‘ll ever be fluent in another language bc i don‘t plan on living anywhere other than germany or possibly england and i‘m not dedicated enough to properly learn any other languages esp if i don‘t have anyone to speak the language with. but i still try my best and i just love language/languages as a whole so yeah i‘m happy & just learning as much as i can dkdjh🥰

(I guess language/linguistics are/is my passion (which sounds sooo lame lmaoooo) and the word passion comes from the latin word pati (i think💀) which means to suffer, and in german passion is called Leidenschaft which basically means suffering too, idk why i‘m telling you this maybe you know it already. but ok dumb fun fact, in german you can make compound words with as many words as you like, and the longest official german word is Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz which is a law for the monitoring of labels on beef... this is such a dumb fact but i think about that word like once a day idk why dodjsjsj so... 👁👄👁)

but i‘ll stop boring you with my linguistics talk because truly i don‘t know much about languages but i am interested omg i‘m gonna shut up now.

now water + sharks. (so in non-covid times i always go to croatia with my dad during the summer, and even before ever watching a shark film i was always kind of scared in water.. but after watching so many shark films wldjdj HELP Like you know when you go deeper into the ocean and you can‘t see or feel the ground/floor? anymore.. then i just start imagining sharks. like i can‘t help it i just imagine a shark sneaking up on me or feeling something graze my foot ABD I JUST START FREAKING OUT SSKJSHSJ. idk. anyway kdkdh i do love the ocean/swimming though but the older i get the more i realise how fucking scary the ocean is ( even if we’re gonna disregard sharks)

your brother... what‘s wrong with him? HOw CAN YOU NOT LIKE MUSIC LIKE WHAT THE FAWK

OKAY BUT SAME ABOUT THE ADORE YOU MUSIC VIDEO DLDKDJSJSKSLSLKSKSJSHSH and yeah i have to say harry’s style (styles lol) as a solo artist isn‘t reaaally my cup of tea, and i only like the popular songs from his second album and the first album is only good when i‘m in the right mood (haven‘t actually listened to it in a while though, but kiwi is one of my all time favourites along with only angel but i hate the start, like it takes 40 seconds to actually begin properly). i like mgk and because of him i watched the dirt which is a film about motley crue, and now one of my favourite songs ever is same ol situation and i‘m into rock now lol. +++ justin bieber. I had a justin bieber cardboard cutout thingy😭 i was the biggest Belieber on earth when i was 13-16, but i didn‘t like his last album and tbh he‘s become a bit weird lately, BUT OH MY GOD. i Listened to his new album yesterday and i‘m in LOVE with the song hold on

i really like niall‘s music toooo!!!! And doja cat 😌😌😌😌 And THE VAMPS OG MY GOD. i got to see them live bc they were the opening/support act for little mix and ajdsjskslslsjsjsj. (Also i love concerts, some of the best memories of my life are concerts, i‘ve seen nicki minaj live 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and justin twice and my heart fills every time i think about how excited i was, it was my first concert ever (16th of September 2016 😌) and i was the happiest person alive seeing justin drew fucking bieber (even if i‘m not tooo sure about justin nowadays)

i have a confession? Idk what hamilton is. I mean I‘ve heard about it and i keep googling it but i‘ve never watched it (is it even a film???? or like a proper musical? also pls tell me you grew up with high school musical. i have a few friends who didn‘t and it makes me so sad 😭😭😭 hsm is the best thing to happen to my childhood , the sooooongs— i still listen to some of them every week or month lool they make me so happy)

(Okay wait i was about to recommend some stormzy songs but you said you‘re not that into rap so i won‘t dksksjl)

What you said about my fic AHSLSLSJB (i wasn‘t sure if you sent an ask about it earlier? idk that might have been someone else, so if it was (and you‘ve read it already) i hope you liked it sksjsj i was...... unsure about it. and i have this reeaaallly long peter fic that i started writing in december and that‘s the only peter thing i currently want to write but also i can‘t because idk how to continue kddjj.) but I’m definitely getting back into writing i have a few blurbs that i want to write so 🥰🥰🥰

Oh and pls as soon as you read this let me know: violet or yellow? (it‘s just a tiny thing for my new theme slsksj)

[mememan93]

too 10 zelda games and why?

an ask? sick!! ok top 10 zelda games with reason coming up! (why cant i tag asks??)

1: skyward sword (duh)- Everything about this game is amazing, the soundtrack, the Npcs that feel like people, the puzzles, the controls, just everything! The storyline was linear, but really worth it! This might seem unpopular, but i also loved fi, from her aesthetic to her theme, hell i didnt mind her tips, no matter how many times i play through the game! People say they dont like having to fight the imprisoned/ghirahim 3 times. I loved the ghirahim fights and didnt mind doing it 3 times. And while the imprisoned was annoying, it was there because of plot consistency. The old woman says that too much power will draw it out, and if that didnt happen every time yall would be complaining about plot consistency. Skyward sword also had some of my favorite characters: Ghirahim and this version of Zelda!

2: Spirit tracks (wii u virtual console): this was my first Zelda game, I used to play it at family events with my cousin on his ds because social anxiety. You might think that i have it so high for nostalgia, and while that was the case for a while, i recently got the virtual console version, and played though it twice (you know when you do something recently it loses its nostalgia?) the soundtrack was great, i loved anjean, and zelda in that game was incredible. Taking the form of a phantom to help you, literally all of zeldas and links interactions were adorable. People said hey didnt like the touch controls and while they did take some getting used to, i adjusted kinda quickly, and when i played phantom hourglass afterwards, i kept dying cause the rolls were different.

3: Ocarina of time (3D): yes i didnt have an N64, fight me. Oot is a fan favorite, and for good reasons. It basically invented the zelda formula (if i have my release dates straight?) not counting alltp. Shiek is one of my favorite characters in anything ever, and admittedly, i did get a little sad when navi left. The soundtrack is good, but short when compared to other zelda games (that and it keeps getting taken off of youtube gdi!) again, ive never had an n64, so idk what the water temple was like back then, (i know about the iron boots gear screen) but from some of my cousins reactions, it seems to be a LOT better in the 3ds version

4: A link Between worlds: This is a really solid entry in the zelda series. Its got just enough difficulty that i dont remember literally everything, but easy enough that i can listen to something like TAZ while playing and understand whats happening in both. Ravio is a good character, though i wish you could steal for him. The items system was really cool, but i like that feeling of “whatre ya gonna get in this temple” that most zelda games have.

5. Minish cap (virtual console wii u): the minish cap is an all around pretty game. The graphics are just beautiful, the soundtrack is amazing, specially minish woods! And its got another of my fave characters, Vaati! Ezlo was also a great character, and sure the kinstones are annoying if youre tyring to 100% the game as are the figures, so this is why we dont 100% things! /s

6. Majoras Mask (3D): Disclaimer: i havent finished this, i was in ikana when my sister lost our copy of the game. But i know the story. MM is a game with only 4 dungeons, so it would seem short right? No, because of the 3 day system it takes longer than expected and wants you to plan out what youre doing. It had a lot of memorable sidequests and the masks were really fun as well. The soundtrack takes those OOT sounds and creates a whole new feel and its a heckin good time!

7. Twilight princess (wii): another game i havent finished! This time because spider scary, and im worried about encountering another one. Midna is super awesome, as is the wolf form and twilight sections, but on the wii, the controls are… awful. Anyone who complains about skyward swords motion controls has obviously never played this version of the game. Zant was cool, but then he was immediately overshadowed by ganondorf with little explanation. At least in Skyward sword ghirahim makes it clear that all he wants is demises resurrection. 

8. Wind waker (HD): for a lot of people this is their favorite, but idk it just never really clicked with me. Maybe its because i saved in the wind temple and Makar vanished so i had to reset my game? The soundtrack was good, but not really my fave, and i didnt like the king of red lions all that much. But other than that, it was a pretty solid game, just not one of my faves.

9. Phantom hourglass (wii u virtual console): after i beat spirit tracks i just HAD to play phantom hourglass, and i gotta say, i was pretty disappointed… the temple of the ocean king was like the tower of spirits, but the time limit. Oh the time limit. Also they fucking nerfed tetra in this game cmon! Ceilia made navi nosies, which i found funny for some reason. Honestly, the only saving grace is linebeck. his theme is amazing, he did grow on me, and the final boss fight against him was *chefs kiss*

10: Botw (both wii u and switch): yeah i just dont really like botw all that much. Half of the soundtrack is pretty decent, but the other half is * 5 piano notes* “what you want MORE???” I didn’t like botw Zelda. At all. At best she was quirky and kinda annoying, and at worst she made me wanna slam my head into the wall. I also didnt care about the champions, no matter how much the game wanted me to. The divine beasts were pretty bad, and the shrines were just kinda tiresome. The graphics were pretty cool (THANK GOD THERE WERE NO SPIDERS) i mean its a cool game, just not a cool zelda game, ya know? Also this is the only game thats made my wii u crash. And it wasnt just one time. Do with that what you will

[hansols-yoda-boxers]

Somewhere In Translation

@sneaky-ash: Im not sure if youre taking requests but im not fussed about when/if you write this; its just youre one of the best smut writers ive found in a while and lowkey a seungkwan enthusiast. Anyway ive been thinking about bumping into svt whilst theyre like, filming a surprise or smth in your local area. They ask you for directions and you end up hanging out with them and SK get flirtier the more time you spend with them. Eventually you guys end up getting together in his room all the while he’s tryna communicate in english as much as he can, and you try your best with extremely limited korean. Idk i feel like the language thing is something thats really ignored in fics and i kinda wanna see smth more realistic. Anyway!! Ive droned on a bit but if you find this ask kinda boring then dont mention it :(: but i wanted to get this out there since i thought youd be the best write for this. If you cant tell, i love your work! Im not extremely active but ill support you x 

Seungkwan x Female Reader

Word Count: 2553

Contents: fingering, oral (female receiving), some nipple play, unprotected sex

Note: I can’t seem to tag you. Also as expected this took a while but it’s here now. I’m back from my mini hiatus and I love u all.

You had to do a double, then a triple take to process what you were seeing. You really thought you might be going crazy. There was no way that actual members of an actual kpop group were in your town. It was a big enough city to warrant them visiting but you hadn’t heard about any concerts.

And what were the odds that they would stop by your favourite café?

You were almost thankful that Seventeen wasn’t your favourite group or you might be screaming right now. You liked their music and knew them well enough to know their names and faces and a little bit about each of them but you didn’t know every single detail about them and you had failed miserably when you tried their name chants. You looked between Seungkwan, Seokmin, Soonyoung, and Hansol thinking that they were much taller than you expected, until one of them caught your eye.

You would have felt silly that Seungkwan caught you staring at him, but they had people staring at them all the time. It couldn’t be that much of a surprise, could it? You smiled at him warmly and confidently despite feeling a little shaky. You swore he checked you out quickly before returning the smile. You took your drink and made your way to a table, catching him each time he threw glances at you. Hansol caught the two of you looking at each other and chuckled before saying something to Seungkwan that you were too far away to hear. He blushed and looked between you and Hansol before his drink was ready. He took it and Hansol nudged him and motioned to you.

You’d decided that you were going to go with this. Maybe it was all a crazy dream but either way you were going to enjoy it while it lasted. Seungkwan made his way across the café to you while throwing glances back at the others nervously. He stopped behind the chair across from you.

“Hi,” he said awkwardly.

“Hello,” you hummed, grinning. “Did you want to sit down?”

“Ah, yes,” he blushed and took a seat. You waited as he thought through what he wanted to say. “You’re… very pretty.”

You couldn’t help he blush that spread across your face. You’d decided this had to be a dream. There was no way this could be real. On the slight chance it was though, and you weren’t about to wake up, you had to enjoy it.

“Thank you, you’re very handsome, but you probably already know that,” you said. You watched as he processed what you were saying and a shy smile spread across his face. “What are you all doing here anyway?” you asked, motioning to the other three who were sitting a little ways away, sipping their drinks, and chatting while shooting glances at the two of you.

“We have… um, schedule. We are…” he looked back at the others who all looks down at their drinks, chuckling. “lost.”

“I know the area really well if you need a hand,” you smiled.

He blushed and nodded, throwing his friends what almost looked like a dirty look before getting up. You followed him to their table where the other three greeted you warmly. Hansol told you where they were looking to go and you smiled, assuring them it was nearby and that you could take them there yourself to make sure they didn’t get lost.

You did your best to talk to all of them as you walked but it was easiest to hold a conversation with Hansol. Soonyoung and Seokmin walked behind you and chatted with each other while Seungkwan tried to keep up with you and Hansol. You did your best not to speak too quickly and you noticed Hansol giving him lots of chances to talk.

You led them to the nearby arcade they were heading to. It very much seemed to be the right place as there was a camera crew there and someone who might have been their manager who looked relieved to see them. You watched as they made their way into the arcade and turned to leave but someone grabbed your hand. You turned back to see Seungkwan smiling nervously.

“Will you, uh… wait until we are done?”

You smiled and nodded. He sighed happily before going to join the other members. You watched from the corner of the arcade as they filmed. They all seemed to turn on their energy and turn up their smile for the camera. Still them, but like turning up a dimmer switch, they were a brighter, more glamourous version of themselves. Whenever the camera was pointed elsewhere Seungkwan shot you a smile. It was the same smile he used on stage, it was dazzling and took your breath away and seemed like such a stark contrast to his shy grin from earlier.

You realized why he had asked you to stick around when they wrapped up filming sooner than you expected. You leaned against the wall and watched as the four of them approached you.

“You’re done so soon,” you said brightly.

They all nodded and Soonyoung pushed Seungkwan closer.

“We are going, uh,” he gave Hansol a panicked look. Hansol whispered something to him. “to the mall. Do you want… to, come?”

You grinned. “Yeah sure, do you know the way from here?”

“Ye-” he started but Soonyoung shoved him. “Uh, no.”

You offered your hand. “Let me show you then.” Seungkwan blushed as he took your hand and walked with you. The others chuckled and followed along behind.

“It was fun watching you film,” you said. “You’re so interesting, and I think the video will turn out well.”

You swore you saw a smirk cross his face and he followed along the crowded sidewalk of the market. “You seemed… happy?” he thought for a second. “…interested?” He spoke quickly to Hansol who laughed.

“He wants to say you seemed very charmed by him.”

You felt the blush creep up your cheeks and he chuckled and squeezed your hand. “Ah, you’re so cute.”

You wandered through the mall with them. Eventually Soonyoung and Seokmin wandered off to look at something, pulling Hansol with him to translate. You felt more nervous being alone with Seungkwan but as you were finding out he understood English well. Speaking was another matter but considering your Korean consisted of phrases that you had picked up from kpop you thought he was doing pretty well. You wandered through a few clothing stores where he insisted you try on a few things and almost made off to pay for them before you caught him and pulled out your own card. He did buy you a tea which you sipped on as you wandered back to the front of the mall. You had a feeling your day with him might be coming to an end.

He seemed nervous as he considered his words carefully. “Do you want to… hang out?”

You smiled, way too happy that this was happening. “Of course!”

He grinned at you as he ushered you towards a car. You got in with him and tried to take in the conversation between him and their driver that was ultimately lost on you. The driver took a sigh and drove and you noticed the way Seungkwan kept glancing at you. His hand found yours but after checking to see that the driver wasn’t watching he slid it over further to rest his hand on your thigh. He rubbed his thumb in slow circles on your thigh before you leaned over.

“What did you mean exactly by ‘hang out’?” you asked, not being able to help the way a grin tugged at your lips.

In response he kissed you, quickly but passionately, his hand squeezing your thigh.

He pulled away and chuckled at the slightly dazed look on your face. “Something like that.”

“Okay,” your said breathily, now very aware of his hand which had moved a little higher on your thigh.

He pretty quickly pulled you out of the car once you got to what you assumed was their hotel. He moved quickly through the lobby and to the elevator. You noticed the way he was biting his lip while he glanced at you and it made you wish there was no one else in the elevator. He pulled you out just as quickly and down the hall to his room. The second he had the door closed behind him his hands were on your waist and his lips found yours. He kissed you deeply and backed you into the wall as you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer. When he broke away from the kiss you were breathless and dazed.

“I have… wanted to do that all day,” he said.

“God I’m so glad you did,” you replied as your eyes focused on his plush lips before you pulled him back in for another kiss. You let your hands wander down his shoulders to his arms as he pressed closer to you and rocked his hips against yours. He let out a soft sigh into your kiss and said something quietly in Korean that you didn’t understand.

“Hmm?” you hummed against his lips.

He pulled back enough to look at you and blushed. “Don’t worry about it,” he blushed. You opened your mouth to protest but a small whine came out instead as his lips started to suck on your neck. His hands slid down your body and he grabbed your ass, pressing you closer. You could feel his bulge through his pants and it only served to turn you on more. He rolled his hips against yours moaning against your skin. He painted your neck in purple before kissing you deeply again as you started to pull him towards the bed.

You back against the bed and barely laid down before he crawled on top of you, ridding himself of his shirt before kissing you again. He pulled your shirt off between kisses and started to kiss down your body. He kissed the tops of your breasts and lifted you enough to get you out of your bra. He mumbled something against your skin before he sucked one of your nipples between his plush lips and you blushed as your ears registered the Korean word for beautiful. His hands slid down to waist and started to undo your belt. He helped you out of your jeans before settling between your legs. His hands trailed up your torso and he let his fingers trail over your nipples while he kissed further down your body. He peeked up at you as he went and took in the way you were arching into his touch.

He kissed along your inner thighs until you were squirming and giving him a pleading look.

“Seungkwan, please,” you whined.

He grinned up at you as he pulled your panties down slowly. He kissed slowly along your inner thighs until he was kissing right next to your core. You tried to roll your hips against him but he just chuckled and pulled away.

“Patience,” he hummed and you whined as he went back to teasing you, bringing a finger to tease your entrance. You let out a small whimper and tried to hold still, need him to move on from his teasing. You gave him the sweetest, most desperate look you could muster and he let out a whine before finally bringing his lips where you needed them. You let out a loud moan and bucked your hips his face and he held them down as he traced your clit with his tongue and pushed one finger into you.

He pumped his finger slowly, and soon added another as he moved his tongue too slow. You moaned for him to go faster and searched your memory to see if you knew the right word in Korean but one look at his smug grin and you realized he was doing it on purpose. You groaned and threw your head back, gripping the sheets as he slowly picked up the pace with his fingers. You cried out when he passed over a particularly good spot and he started to rub back and forth over it faster before sucking your clit between his lips.

You moaned out his name as you came on his fingers, bucking your hips against his hand and face. You whimpered as he pulled his fingers put slowly and moved to lap up your release until you were pulling away. He mumbled something against you and you hmm.

He looked up at you a blushed. “You, taste good,” he hummed, blushing slightly.

You smiled as you pulled him up towards you. You kissed him deeply and started to fumble with his belt. As soon as it was undone you helped him push down his pants and he kicked them off, still kissing you passionately.

He let out a loud moan as you took his cock into your hand and started to stroke him. He quickly stopped your hand and broke away from the kiss, scrambling for the words.

“I… if you… I might… um,” he was blushing deeply and grinned as you took in what he was saying.

“You might cum too fast?” you asked, pumping his cock again.

“Y-Yes,” he gasped up, trying to stop your hand again. “I want to…” he trailed off unsure of the words.

You kissed him sweetly before pulling him closer to you. “Me too.”

He started to grind his cock against you and you both let out moans at the feeling. You helped him to align himself with you before he slowly pushed in. He let his head fall into the crook of your neck and moaned as you gripped him tightly. He stayed still for a few moments as you both adjusted until you started to whine and move your hips. He pulled back and thrust into you slow and deep.

He worked up his pace slowly, leaving more kisses and love bites along your neck and collarbone. Your toes curled at the feeling as you moved your hips in time with him and started to moan out his name.

You could feel your second orgasm building and from the sound of his moans he was getting close too. “Fuck, Seungkwan, c-can you, your hand-”

You felt his grin against your skin as his fingers found your clit and started to rub it in quick, even circles.

You cried out as you came on his cock, holding him close through your orgasm. His thrusts grew sloppier and the way you were clenching around him had him cumming quickly after. You pulled him in to kiss you as he roll his hips into, riding out his own orgasm.

You were both panting as he rolled off of you and you started to come down from your highs.

“That was fantastic,” you breathed.

He smiled at you. “Yeah.” He tugged you  little closer and you cuddled up to him. You had no idea if this would lead somewhere or if this meant anything at all but you could at least enjoy the cuddles while they lasted.

You decided that if that was a dream, it was the best dream you’d ever had.

[syekick-powers]

rambling about emotions and self-control

i think one of the things that pisses me off the most when family members criticize me is when they say that i’m “bad at controlling my emotions”. first of all, I have ADHD and bipolar simultaneously, my emotions are a hundred times fucking stronger than yours. secondly, i am actually excellent at controlling my emotions. i am the kind of person where if i am having a panic attack, you might not have any fucking clue that i’m even having anxiety unless i state directly that im having a panic attack. ive had PAs so bad where i legit thought i was about to die and not a single shred of that world-ending panic touched my external affect for a second. part of my fucking trauma revolves around having to hide my distress to avoid freaking out other people, which means that i learned to develop a diamond fucking grip on my external signs of distress. it’s deeply maladaptive in some situations, but in other situations it’s equally as useful. and yet because i am very animated and exaggerated in my persona, people assume that i just let my emotions fountain everywhere uncontrollably and that i’m just a waterfall of feelings.

incorrect. every bit of exaggeration in my affect is deliberate. i am not acting like a clown because i can’t control myself, i am purposefully choosing to exaggerate to convey my feelings more effectively. if i don’t want you to know what i’m feeling, you will never ever ever find out. there are some people i interact with on a regular basis whomst i fucking loathe deeply, and yet any time i interact with them i am completely personable and friendly. when im streaming video games on a high difficulty and get frustrated from having to do the same part over and over and over again, i never get tilted on stream. i dont yell or rage, and in fact the more frustrated i become the more blank and expressionless my affect turns. when i was playing dead space 2 on zealot difficulty on stream recently, all of my viewers were complimenting the fact that i spent at least two collective hours on trying to beat the final boss and yet still did not get visibly upset or pissed off once.

yes, my emotions are strong. i have two separate disorders that both have “emotional dysregulation” as some of their biggest negative side effects. my bad moods feel like a fucking firestorm most of the time and strong emotions are very difficult to handle and control. sometimes, my emotions get the better of me and i snap or get irritable. but the only time i’m irritable is when i feel physically and emotionally like utter dogshit and the bad mood impacts my ability to hold back my emotions. the truth is that in my day to day life there are dozens of fucking things that irritate the living hell out of me and i choose to discard my frustration rather than stay mad about something trivial--either that, or i feel the frustration intensely, but bite it back and don’t say anything because i’m not in the mood to pick a fight. if i’m being pissy with you, it’s because i’m completely fuck-out of all mental and physical energy that i would otherwise use to hold back my irritation. there is nothing left to burn. there aren’t even fumes in the tank. this bitch empty, so prepare for the yeet.

the problem that i run into with my family members is that this internal struggle to contain my emotions is completely invisible to any external viewers. they’re not me, of course they can’t see what’s going on in my head. what makes that an issue is that they don’t see the twenty fucking times i got irritated and managed to control my temper through the frustration, they only see the five or so times i lose control. my efforts are invisible to everyone around me, so when i finally do get fed up and make a snippy comment or complain, it seems like i just let my emotions get the better of me all the time.

to be fuckening honest, if the people who criticized me lived one fucking day in my shoes, the extremity of my emotions would exhaust them within hours. the thing is, i’m 25 fucking years old, which means i’ve lived with this shit for over two fucking decades. i have learned to control myself to an extent, and, being honest with yall? it fucking exhausts the living shit out of me all the goddamn time. it’s like my brain expends all my mental fuel reserves on overclocking my emotions as hard as possible while leaving no fuel left over for activities in the day that i actually need to do. it’s part of the reason i’m so fuckdamn tired all the fuckdamn time. but i’m not bad at controlling my emotions when i actually have the energy to do so. in fact, i’m so good at suppressing them that half the time, people don’t know i’m upset at all. to a certain extent, i’ve gotten used to how extreme my emotions are, and have started learning to predict what sets me off so i can make an effort to avoid the negative stimulus and save myself the frustration. i’m just really fucking tired of people accusing me of not controlling my emotions well enough when god fucking damnit you have no idea how hard i’m actually fucking trying!!! it feels like i’ve gotten so good at hiding my distress in my day-to-day life that now people have no fucking idea how shitty i actually feel until they poke me one too many times and i fucking bite their finger off, and then assume that i just randomly blew up on them with no reason or justification. that i’m just behaving like this to spite them personally.

i promise you im not fucking behaving randomly. in fact, my frustration triggers are actually pretty fucking consistent. the same bullshit behaviors will always piss me off; what changes on a day-to-day basis is how well i control the extremity of my reaction. if i’m having a good day, i have enough fuel stores to go “meh, whatever” and brush it off without being too bothered for very long. if i feel like shit, my ability to control my response is hampered and it becomes much harder to bite back a snippy comment. i’m not lashing out to be malicious or spiteful. i’m lashing out because you’ve been doing this shit every day for the past two fucking weeks and today i’m just too tired to deal with this fucking bullshit anymore. my reaction is not a sudden unprovoked blowing up of a bomb. it’s “you poked the caged animal one too many times and now it’s going to fucking bite you to make you stop because it has no other way to express its frustration”.

i try to be clear and concise with my boundaries, and frankly i don’t think they’re all that unreasonable. i like to be able to decide when and how i do a task on my own time rather than being pushed and pulled and jabbed and pressured every step of the way. i like to be able to have my own space where people have to get my permission before entering suddenly so that i feel like i have a safe place to hide when i’m overstimulated. i like to decide when and where i want to engage in socialization, and for how long. i like being able to decide when i’m ready to do a task, rather than having a task suddenly shoved on me with no warning or being pressured to do it before i’m ready. i do not like being gifted objects i did not request (and often actively requested not to get) and then being expected to be grateful for something i didnt even want in the first place. i don’t like gifts coming with invisible price tags and obligations that can change whenever the gifter decides they want more out of me. and i absolutely cannot. fucking. stand. passive aggression. all of these things do not really seem all that unreasonable to me, yet time and time again people treat me like i’m just asking for so much more than they can possibly give. and you know what? 75% of the fucking time when someone crosses one of these boundaries all i do is Make A Note Of It and go along with the boundary violator’s wishes anyway, because i actively decided that making a big deal out of them crossing my boundaries is not worth the effort of asking them to change their behavior, because throughout my entire fucking life i’ve been constantly treated as the irrational, unrealistic, crazy bitch for trying to set those boundaries. i’ve been taught time and time and fucking time again that defining my boundaries is too much to fucking ask. so when someone does violate my boundaries, there’s a little “Sye will remember that“ popup and absolutely zero expression or reaction. which means that yes. when i finally get tired and can’t bite back my frustration any longer, it’s because you’ve done the exact same thing to me two hundred fucking times previous and i don’t have the fucking patience to suck it up and deal with it anymore. im done with your shit.

so yeah. i’m a little bit fucking sick of people telling me that i have poor self-control. the fact that you think i have no self-control is an indicator of how good it actually is, because i’m so fucking good at hiding my distress that you don’t even have any idea how absolutely like a fetid mound of horse shit i feel like until my fuse finally burns all the way up. i can contain a 10-out-of-10 ‘i’m imminently about to die’ panic attack so well that not a scrap of that panic shows up in my external affect for even a second. i can suppress my pain on stream when it’s at a 7 out of 10 intensity or higher and be fucking on stream playing video games and commentating and show almost no sign of discomfort except for an intense concentrating face. don’t you fucking ever tell me that i’m bad at controlling myself. i’m a goddamn adult. i’ve learned how to control 90% of my fucking emotions so well that i could be holding a conversation with you imagining myself breaking your fucking nose and show absolutely zero sign of external hostility. i am good at controlling my fucking emotions. the problem is that my emotions are so world-endingly, apocalyptically intense that sometimes i just get too fucking tired to hold back, and then that’s when i bite. i’ m not just lashing out randomly with no provocation. i’ve been tread on a million fucking times and took it with a smile and you had no fucking idea. just because i bit you doesn’t mean i did it because i have no self-control. self-control? self-control???? don’t you fucking talk to me about self-control you headass bitch. i have a fucking supernova coming out of my brain and you’re telling me im weak for not being able to bite it back when your emotions have about as much intensity as a bowl of lukewarm porridge. don’t ever fucking criticize me for not being able to control myself when you’re playing life on easy mode and i’ve been stuck on expert all my fucking life. self-control. don’t you fucking talk to me about self-control ever again. you have no idea what the fuck you’re even talking about. fuck off.

[su-angelvicioso]

So I wrote another fic:

This is a peice I wrote (literally lol) while sitting in this hospital bed all drugged up on meds to reduce this horrendous pain lmao. I didn’t have my phone at the time and I didn’t have much to do so of course my mind was racing and I came up with this, I didn’t want to lose it so I ended up writing it down. This fic is really close to me and I found myself kind of writing from a place of a certain emotion deep inside me. I just typed it all up on my phone and I was originally going to just keep it to myself thinking that it wasn’t long enough or good enough to release it to the public but I just decided to post it as a way to signify that I am really back and I have not deactivated and as an apology for all this confusion and mess. Again, i’m really sorry, but I truly hope you guys like this anyway if you manage to read.

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I’m Not Okay

Pairing: Jasper/María

Warnings: ptsd, mental illness, triggers? (im so sorry i rly dont know what to tag this as)

Word count: ???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She didn’t know why she was here, this isn’t her usual scene. Hasn’t been for years.. The night was young, the moon shone brightly above the area, not a cloud in sight, the weather seemed perfect. There were people bustling around, talking, catching up, meeting others. People dancing, bodies swinging, feet swaying. Some are off to the side, further away, standing alone watching everything else, probably too shy or bored to participate in any of the festivities. Some are seated, eating, drinking, things she could no longer enjoy. Thus bringing her back to why she was even present at this little event. She wasn’t very good at meeting new people. The only conclusion she could come up with, was that she did not want to disappoint the person who had so graciously invited her.

He’d contacted her out of the blue, she wasn’t expecting it, as they hadn’t spoken in a little while. Their contact wasn’t as consistent as it should be. She always waits for the days where she never hears from him ever again, and just when she thinks it’s that time, he surprises her. His words seemed unsure, almost wary of asking her if she would like to attend the party they were having. “Figured it’d be a nice break away from your responsibilities.” He’d told her. She agreed, and so she accepted, not really sure if she’d actually go through with it or not. It shocked her something serious that he’d even ask her to be a guest, at first she thought he’d been joking but that thought was debunked immediately by him. He’d voiced his thoughts that it’d be nice to see her again, under much better circumstances, and what better circumstances than a bright and fun social gathering?

So there she was, standing around, staring at nothing, her mind a million miles away in her head. Always in her head, it’s not that her head was a fun place to be, because it wasn’t, her head housed tons of pain, struggles, suffering... trauma, though she’d never admit it. She thinks admitting to those things would make her weak, and so she pretends it doesn’t exist, that it doesn’t bother her. She was in her head simply because it was the only place of familiarity at the moment. She didn’t know anyone around her except for her inviter and his coven. However, they were off doing their own things, and she was only really comfortable with a few of them. The thought of leaving did cross her mind, but she quickly dismissed it due to the fact that she’d actually missed her friend; but that’s something she’d rather not be known.

“You were never this idle when we went to those dance parties down south.”

She turned at the familiar sound of his deep voice. He’d startled her. Last time she’d seen him, he was far off talking to someone she didn’t recognize. He seemed busy so she definitely wasn’t expecting his presence any time soon, especially not now.

“I was a lot more comfortable then, I knew some of the people there, and the music was.. more to my tastes..” She responded, turning to face him completely. There he stood, tall and lean, a slight smile etched on his face. He was just the same as the last time they were face to face. Never breaking his calm, cordial demeanor. She’d always had a soft spot for the blond, appreciative of his strong but gentle nature, grateful for his kindness to her. There was a small moment of silence before she spoke again.

“Besides... I am really only here for you. Which I haven’t seen much of through the night.” She tacked on for clarification, squinting her eyes in a patronizing manner, causing him to laugh and raise his hands in surrender.

“Alright, you got me there. It probably wasn’t the brightest idea to leave you alone around so many strangers in a place you aren’t familiar with. I’m sorry.” He apologized with a genuine lighthearted tone. She smiled then, his laugh had always been very contagious to her. He didn’t smile or laugh much, but when he did, it brought a soft feeling to her inside.

“It’s quite alright, querido amigo. You seemed busy anyway.”

She shrugged, looking away, her eyes scanning the area. Searching for nothing in particular, it’s simply a habit that she’d adopted over the years as a way to remind herself to be aware. Only turning her attention back to him when she heard his reply, his southern twang thick in his voice.

“Well I ain’t busy anymore, so why don’t we take some time to catch up with each other? We haven’t seen each other in a while.” He propositioned, a hopeful look in his eyes. She didn’t have to think much about her answer, she’d wanted to catch up with him just as much as he did. He was right, they hadn’t seen each other in a very long time, and there’s only so much you can do with other means of contact, but there’s nothing like being face to face. She simply gave a quick nod before turning and walking away, seeking a place for them to chat, only to stop when she did not feel his presence following behind nor did she hear any footsteps apart from hers. She turned around, a questioning look on her face as to why he did not follow. He just stood there, that same smile still smoothed over his face.

“I meant as we dance...”

He extended his hand, that inviting smile accentuating his friendly gesture. She stood there and watched him for a minute. The man seemed full of surprises lately. She stared at his hand, contemplating if she should take it and dance tonight before she quickly conceded and stepped forward, taking his hand. His smile grew as she placed her delicate hand in his and he began to lead her to the floor. She just watched him.

“Why do we have to dance?” She asked, curiously thinking of what dancing had to do with them talking and catching up, or why he would want to dance with her in the first place. He looked down at her.

“I figured that if I invited you to a party, we should probably dance at least once. I also know that dancing loosens you up, which is something you definitely need right now.”

His hand took to her waist as they made it to the rest of the dancing partygoers. He slowly guided her along to the music, watching as she tried to catch along to his rhythm. Her eyes were glued to her feet. She was not familiar with the style of dancing that he was currently leading and so she watched extra carefully over her feet to make sure she was moving correctly as to not trip over his or her own steps.

“You seem to know me pretty well I see.. but what about you? What have you been up to in the past couple decades?” She asked casually, her eyes still trained downward. Jasper watched her, laughing to himself at how overly careful she was before he hooked his arm around her waist lifting her tiny form off the ground causing her eyes to snap towards his in shock. He lowered her onto his own feet, now moving for the both of them so as to ease the worry he felt radiating from her. His arm never left her waist.

“Anyone tell you it’s impolite to not look someone in the eyes as you speak to them?” He asked jokingly. 

Her face morphed from that of shock into a glare before she replied. 

“Anyone ever tell you it’s impolite to unexpectedly lift someone off their feet?”

He laughed out loud then, his bright smile never faltering as he began to sway them to the music. His movement a lot more pronounced now that he knew she was secured to him and would follow along with his every step.

“Thought you could use a little help there seeing as you seemed a little too worried about your two left feet.” His retort brought forth a small laugh from her lips, she lightly hit his broad chest.

“I look silly.” She said, embarrassed.

“You look fine.” He assured.

“Easy for you to say, seeing as you aren’t the one being carried around the dance floor on someone else’s feet.” She pressed her left foot on his right to add emphasis to her point. He could only laugh even more in return.

“I’m sure it would look even more silly if you’d lifted me onto your feet considering I am twice your size. There’s also the fact that you are unfamiliar with this dance.”

Her eyes narrowed.

“You did this on purpose.” she accused.

His lips took on a sly smirk. 

“Guilty as charged.” He admitted.

She rolled her eyes in a mocking manner before bringing her attention back to their previous conversation. “You never answered my question.” She mentioned. He nodded, already knowing what she was referring to, and answering immediately. 

“I haven’t really done much besides go to school, learned some things, earned some degrees, working amongst humans. Just recently had to square off against a couple of nomads for the safety of a human. That’s the most action I’ve seen in a long time, I have to admit, it was pretty exciting.” When he finished she spoke quickly, she just had to address the first part of his response. 

“Hold on, you mean you actually went to school?” She asked incredulously.

He grinned, “sí, querida amgia. Both high school and college. I have earned degrees in Philosophy and History, it’s not the most exciting thing, and I much prefer college over high school, but I must say some of the material is interesting, and college is definitely.. an experience.” He elucidated, his grin growing the more shocked her face became. “You should try it some time.” He added. Her expression then went from stunned to impish.

“I don’t imagine they’d have let you in if they knew your real age geezer.” She teased. “Also, I don’t think I’d really fit in an educational scene.”

He simpered. “I once thought the same thing, but look at me now, I already have two degrees. If I can do it then I know for sure you can.” She smiled, “It’s nice to know you believe in me. Perhaps I could try it, never hurts to do something new...”

Before she could continue, a thunderous bang sounded from nowhere. She jumped, gasping as her head snapped to the left, her eyes searching. Bang!

Her head swung in the opposite direction, another sharp intake of air, and she was gone...

There she was, in the middle of her dying village, some of the homes were ablaze in flames, others were being overtaken by what she could only assume to be soldiers considering the uniforms they sported and the large rifles they carried. There was chaos all around her. Bang! She jolted forward, the fear in her chest rising. She could hear the sound of a heart thumping, but it couldn’t have been hers.. right? She no longer possessed a beating heart.

A hand reached at her, roughly snatching her forward, away from the destruction. She looked up to see her papa. His face was strained and he seemed to be yelling at her through the noise, but she could not make out a word he spoke. She looked past him to see her abuela and mama further away, they looked frightened, worried. They were near the entrance to the forrest, seeming to have found a way to escape the madness that had ensued around her. She struggled to keep up with papa, her tiny legs moving as fast as they could until they stopped abruptly. Her eyes went up to her father wondering what had been the cause for their sudden break in movement until she saw a tall white man with a rifle pointed right at her papa’s chest, his fingers twitching at the trigger. The beating of the heart that seemed to be hers, grew to a crescendo of rapid thumps. Before she could react, the deafening bang sounded again. A bright light flashed from the rifle. She clenched her eyes tight. Her hand squeezing what she thought was her papas hand, but it felt different.. it felt soft, smooth, like fabric, like.. cotton?

“Papa!” She sobbed.

Another sharp breath, and she was gone.

Everything was black at first, she held onto herself tightly, when nothing happened, she relaxed her eyes and opened them. She was in the middle of a battlefield, running, not away, but towards something. She looked to her left and saw a group of people running beside her. No, they were vampires.. newborns. Some of them she recognized, others she could not place in her head. She began to slow down until someone shouted an order at her to speed up. She looked to her right to see a face she never thought she’d see again. Her creator, her leader, the last man who would ever ‘own’ her, ran at her right side, shouting at her to keep going. They came to a clearing in the desert, dust flying everywhere, there was a low rumbling sound. She looked ahead and saw a band of newborns coming at them from across the way. She stopped completely, the others ran ahead. She watched them merge, sounding off yet another ear-splitting bang as their hard bodies clashed into each other. She flinched. It was as if two huge boulders were clashing into each other over and over again. The fighting was always the worst during the beginning to middle of battle. In only a few short minutes there was fighting all around her... again. She didn’t know who was who or where to run to. Everything seemed to blend together. Each booming crash sent shivers down her spine. Until she heard loud, clamorous footsteps approaching from behind her. She turned around to see a very huge male barreling towards her. She froze, trembling. Just before he reached her, she shut her eyes tightly. Boom! She didn’t feel the impact, in fact, she felt nothing at all. 

Another breath and she was gone.

Everything went black, again. She waited a few minutes before opening her eyes; but when she opened them, she immediately regretted it.

“No!” she screamed.

There she stood, in front of her home, on her territory, watching as it was being taken from her, as her family were being taken from her... again. There were screams and shouts all around, orders being commanded left and right. Then she heard it. That sound. That damned sound that never failed to make her shudder. Her head whipped toward the source as she saw debris flying all over, and that’s when she remembered. The bombs. It’s how the invaders gained leverage. They blew the bodies of the immortals she knew -and some she cared for- far back as the enemies closed in on the area.                 

“María!”

“María!!”

“María!!!” 

Someone was calling her name. They sounded frantic, but distanced. She turned around, her eyes scattering in all directions looking for her immortal family, her mate, assuming they had been the ones calling for her; but she could not find them. She ran around, the more she didn’t see them, the more desperate she became. She ran faster, her eyes searching, her ears listening, her nose smelling, her mind racing.

She found them out by the battlefront, wondering how they even got there. She had not seen them there before, but she definitely knew what was coming next. She’s replayed it in her head over and over again a thousand times before. Every single time she never made it, but still, she ran.

“María!”                                                   

“María!!”                                                 

“María!!!” 

The distressed calling of her name did not sound any closer. This worried her. With every scream of her name, her body quaked more, but she didn’t let that stop her, she trucked on, running as fast as possible; but she couldn’t seem to get any closer, this frustrated her.                         

“Please!” She cried, hoping someone would save her from this, save them from their impending doom. She couldn’t bear to watch that again. She finally started to close in on them, she was almost there. She reached her hand out, almost there.. Boom!.. 

All black, all over again. There was a ringing in her ear. She heard her name, but it still sounded so very far away.

“María!” It called once. Everything sounded distorted, her body felt strained as if she was holding onto something for dear life. Her hands were balled into tight fists, in them, she felt that strange fabric, cotton feeling again, was she clutching a piece of clothing? A shirt? 

“María!!” It called again. The voice sounded more clear, much closer than the last but still a bit distorted. She groaned, her body shaken to the core at what she’d just witnessed... again. Her eyes were shut tight, she released them from their tight hold, but did not open them before she heard her name again.

“María!!!” It called for the third and final time. She heard it clear as day. It was extremely close now, loud, almost as if it were directly above her. She recognized that voice. That deep voice with that southern accent. Jasper. 

She inhaled sharply, slowly opened her eyes, and looked around. Her face was pressed against his chest. The first thing she saw were her hands balled up into fists entangled in fabric. She loosened her hands from their entanglement, correct in her earlier assumption that she had been clutching a shirt, his shirt. She stared at the wrinkles in the shirt her hand left behind before she looked up only to see Jasper’s concerned face staring back down at her. When he saw that she’d come to, he heaved a sigh of relief.

“María! María look at me!” He shouted, trying to gain her attention as he cupped her face between his large hands. Her eyes were looking toward him, but they were not focused on him. He lightly shook her again.                           

“Look at me María.” He demanded, sounding a little less distraught. Her eyes began to focus on him, she could see the intense panic and worry in his eyes. She blinked before he spoke again.

“Take a deep breath for me on three okay?” He counted to three, and she drew in a huge breath. “Hold it.” He commanded. She complied, holding it in. 5 more seconds passed before he told her to release.

“Try it again, slower this time okay? On three..” He counted to three and again, she inhaled, holding it when he instructed, and releasing after 5 seconds. She never broke eye contact with him as she went through the process. She felt her body begin to relax. The knots in her midsection loosened and all the tension in her muscles released.

“Last time.” He counted the final three before she breathed profoundly, holding her breath for the 5 last seconds and exhaling smoothly. She was much more stable now. He gently pulled her close, his hand coming to rest at her back, lightly stroking. She laid her head against his chest, continuing her deep measured breathing to keep herself lucid. They were silent for a moment before he opened his mouth.

“You scared the hell out of me you know that?” His voice sounded a bit shaky, but he continued. “I had to drag you from the backyard into the house, you were really jumpy the whole time, but then you suddenly jerked really hard and whimpered, mumbling about your ‘papa’, before you let go of my arm and ran away. I found you in the middle of the living room trembling with your eyes shut, your arms were wrapped around yourself and you seemed as if you didn’t know where you were. You were still so jumpy. I came up behind you and grabbed you. You flinched really hard when I touched you and then your legs gave out. I carried you upstairs to this room. When I sat us both down, you suddenly screamed the word ‘no’. I didn’t know what to do at that point so I began to shake you, screaming at you to wake up. To come out of whatever state of being you were in. I didn’t know if you could hear me but I had to try something. I called your name six times before you spoke again, but all you said was ‘please’. I didn’t know what was happening to you nor what you were talking about, and then you stretched out your hand before quickly recoiling back into your huddled position, you were shaking hard. I called your name three more times before you woke up.” finishing his recall of the events that had just unfolded, he sighed. “I didn’t know fireworks did that to you...”

She said nothing, just moaned, slowly leaning her head further into his chest. He placed his chin atop her head and breathed.                       

“I won’t ask you exactly what it was that you saw, I’m sure you’re in no condition to recount those things, some of it I kind of already pieced together based on stories you’ve told me in the past. I’m deeply sorry mí leona, if I’d known it would do this to you, I would never hav-“

“No, it isn’t your fault.” She cut him off, her voice barely raising above a whisper. “I never really spoke about it.” She admitted. Jasper huffed, “Well how could you? It’s not something one just mentions randomly,” he sighed again, “but it is something that is very serious María. I know that firsthand simply from experience, and I can help you if you would accept it.” He suggested.

She shifted. “Okay..” was her only answer. She didn’t know exactly what agreeing to that entailed or what was to come, but she knew that it was better to accept help from someone she knew and trusted than to continue living with this. “Just one thing..” She uttered, a little warily.

“What is it?” He asked, looking down at her, curious as to what she might say. She wracked through her mind for the right words to use before speaking.   

“Can we just.. stay here.. for a little while longer?” She asked, a bit nervous. She always hated asking people for anything. His arms tightened around her.

“As long as you need.”