#dont rb ill kill you

[hotxolotl]

Not to be dysphoric on main or anything but I really wish I was born male sometimes.. I mean, not even just from a dysphoric or social standpoint, but also one of curiosity. Like, I really wonder what life would be like, or would've been. How much would be different, physically, socially, mentally.

[destructionsys]

cant wait to front next & see all my posts on here will have been deleted 😁 persecutor things!!!

[renjaminnifer]

in late 2019/early 2020, i figured out i was a trans man.

i didn't know what gay people even were until i was 11 years old, finally informed by a little news show one of my teachers showed us daily. upon just the mention of gays, the boy i had a crush on at the time, plus several other kids including my friends, all cringed. they went "ew", they made faces, they exchanged jokes.

i didn't understand what any of it meant, but i leaned over to the boy i liked and went "adam and eve, not adam and steve right?" it was a joke i had heard a friend say, though i didn't fully get the meaning.

my guardians never explained any of this to me, though looking back i feel like their responses wouldn't have been nice. my grandpa was old fashioned, and had a picture of Robert E. Lee on our wall.

my grandpa is long gone, and so is my old self. she still exists in old photos and a couple fond memories, but they might as well both be buried.

i'm a man. that's it, really. a pansexual transman to be exact. what would my grandpa or even that old crush think of me now? i like to think they would try to understand, but deep down i know better.

regardless of what they or even else ever says, i'm still a man. and i'm happier than that poor girl ever was.

[caruliaa]

bad decision maker (me)

[radiotorn]

like i neeeeeeeddd to draw freaky art but i cannot draw. i think i am burnt out and DYING!!!!!!!!!!! (brother is dissociated big time)

[end-of--the-line]

boys, we are faggin it out in the discord dms tonight

[ratvich]

[77ngiez-archive]

i wonder what pafl tumblr would be like

1 note

🍑 upto30meters

i think beautiful bpd boys should be allowed to do nefarious things sometimes. dont ask me abt my weekend plans

#sanyechkaa if ur reading this tell ur brother to go fuck himself #txt #hall of fame

23,719 notes

👁 eagleeyed1

this prison food is passé

#why am i in prison? don't worry about it

7 notes

📙 false-epitaphs

i am so sick of my friend vagueposting about his illegal plans

#and as if thats not enough the post BLEW UP TOO #if he gets arrested i blame this website #thats a joke hes stupid so itll be all his fault #dont rb btw #epitaphs: textpost

5 notes

👿 anger-management-official

#poll #small musician #music #polls #HAHA I FOUND THIS IN DRAFTS I THINK ARTHUR MEANT TO POST IT YESTERDAY #I EDITED SOME OF THE OPTIONS FOR HIM LMAOO

14 notes

🍜 kt003-415-deactivated-20150831

ill be deactivaing this acount soon, i dont get a phone were im going '). love u guys!! dont come lookig for me!!

🍑 upto30meters

KATYA IM COMING

#I DIDNT KNOW SHE HAD A TUMBLR???? SANYA WAS THIS UR DOING????? #WHAT WAS SHE DOING ON TUMBLR SHE COULDNT EVEN SPELL

2 notes

🐱 itzanya14

FORCING MY BOYFRIEND TO READ WARRIOR CATS WISH US LUCK

#talking tag #boyfriend tag #weve been really stressed out lately (family drama basically) so were gonna unwind with some wc uwu

4 notes

🚗 ilovemyjesusandfightingandmygf

@yanikastudy HOW DO I POST

📚 yanikastudy

you just did dear))

#not academia #❤️: vanya

3 notes

🌀 spasticlightsky

My girlfriend (<3) is making me read a very confusing book. I don't believe cats are this intelligent.

0 notes

🏞 srgkzrn

I fucking hate kids

#Never should have let this idiot get near my sister #Vent

0 notes

🔥 ifthiswasthemanagement

im gonna kill my brother

#DOES HE KNOW WHAT PROFESSIONALISM IS #whatever whatever its just a dumbass poll #but its pissing me off #why would he remove the see results button????? #NOT TO MENTION I WAS KEEPING IT IN DRAFTS FOR A REASON #goddd #delete later

5 notes

⚗️ zonefucker69

I'm ashamed at the board's lack of scientific taste(((

0 notes

🕶 cassettephones-deactivated-20110418

me and my brother are going to haunt the narrative so hard someday, rb if u agree

37 notes

[catinasink]

greetings from the sink

am i in post limit jail? nope :3

posting less due to school 👍

most recent edit: 9/21/24

im the one and only cat btw. if you even care.

also im the ultimate faggot btw

im not a vampire im notttt im notttttttt

main shit

minor. (my birthday is november 8 :3c )

i go by cat and nico and pluto and neptune and siffrin and calypso mainly and you can call me any of those (more about that here)

it/any/ask :3c

my labels arent any of your business blast. polyam + aspec + queer if you really need to know

dont call me your friend + no /p tonetag (im aplatonic :] )

no chain asks + no tag games + no donation asks please.

uhh no real dni? just no porn blogs follow me pls im a minor 👍

more

what youll find here: reblogging. og posts. gayposts. ventposts (tagged #neptune is complaining again or #delete later). lyricposts. fandom posts.

i spam reblog a lot. like a lot. do keep this in mind

i have two cats, kim and shego (or floorshitter); a sister (she/her); and the irls (in real life people i know; i tend to use irl as a term to describe the people i am close to irl) i mention most are pb / pissboy (he/him), cherry (they/any), and eve (she/her)

pst timezone (usually)

scorpio sun saggitarius moon scorpio rising . ok yeah thats a fucking Lie the constellations have shifted but i cba to check again lol

i speak english + russian, learning german + hebrew + ukranian

couple sideblogs, including @nymph-of-the-sea (rp blog for calypso from pjo) (no i never use it); @catinabath (for when im on post limit); two gimmick blogs; i definitely dont own @totallynotcatinasink; as well as @forehead-kiss-mutual-kill-polls :] a few others but ill keep those secret 💥

matching descs w @shrimpysstuff (shrimpy !!!) and banners w @homoashell (starr !!!)

i have four very lovely qpps mwah mwah <3 also a very dear spouse <3

i have an ao3 if that matters :]

discord server link :3 preferably join if youre around the age of a minor so everyone feels comfortable

literally just a cat in a sink btw

fandoms im in / rb from

warrior cats. i love em

will wood. hes so silly . is this a fandom idk

genshin impact. grhghrhgr

pjo. whoag

isat. save me isat

object shows. i like object shows

danganronpa. uhmmm yeah haha dont look at me

tags

most of my og posts: #cat's rambles

asks: #cat's asks

schoolposting: #cat's schoolposting

ventposting: #neptune is complaining again

lyricposting: #cat's lyricposting

art: #cat's art

music i write: #cat's lyrics

polls i make: #cat's polls

pics of my cat: #cat's cat

yearning sighhhh: #nico catinasink is yearning

queued or scheduled posts: #queue you

posts i write in my notes app: #drafts

submissions: #eris' submissions

the penis saga: #the penis saga

pissboy mentions: #my lovely pissboy

lightning anon: #lightning anon

blender anon: #cat's blender anon

rizzler anon: #rizzler anon

brain anon: #🧠 anon

pineapple anon: #pineapple anon

sparkle anon: #sparkle anon

mcchicken anon: #mcchicken anon

sink lore: #happenings of the sink

dreamscape nexus: #dreamscape nexus

posts i want to look at later: #fave

posts of mine that are more popular than others or i want to find em later: #save

i tend to only tag the following tws: sui, sh, ed / eating issues, and emetophobia pls lmk if i should tag anything else !!!

have a good day

[dear-ao3]

3 questions:

1. Who are your favourite drivers from the junior series? (F2 and F1A in particular, but feel free to name whoever comes to mind^^)

2. Your predictions for the rest of silly season?

3. If you had to choose between only reading fanfics or "properly published" books for a year, what would it be?

mmmmmmmmm ok

dont watch too much of the junior series? i love tina hausmans's (sp??) commitment to the hairstyle bit tho she seems incredible :) and i dont remember her name aaa but the girl who drives for williams in academy awhile ago i saw some video of her and logan doing press and i was oh i vibe with you and i like ollie he seems perpetually confused but considering i dont know much about many of them i cant give a proper answer here

ho BOY lets see. my predictions v what i WANT to happen are wildly different so ill give both:

predictions:

red bull: max and daniel mclaren: oscar and lando ferrari: lewis and charles merc: george and mmmm probably unfortunately kimi aston: fernando and lance alpine: pierre and carlos haas: ollie and esteban stake: nico and tbh i have no freaking idea could see an f2 driver tho or mick or maybe even kevin williams: alex and valtteri rb: yuki and liam

what i WANT: red bull: max and daniel mclaren: oscar and lando ferrari: lewis and charles merc: george and valtteri (ah remember when these two nearly killed eachother on track? i want it back) aston: fernando and lance alpine: pierre and jack haas: ollie and logan stake: nico and mick williams: alex and esteban rb: yuki and liam

i haven't read properly published books in years cause i am lazy so fanfic

[walnutcookie]

sir i humbly request rambles about misfortune and more cappuccino hcs

perhaps some body horror doodles as well if you feel comfortable

i adore this au please spill your guts to me and i will feed on the titbits i find

also may i make fanart of this misfortune au thing (sorry not sure what to call it)

misfortune moment PART THREE!!!! ramble under cut :]

part one here

part two here

rbs ok!

misfortune knows exactly how to inflict the most amount of misery in someone.

heres the thing. if it just kept beating its host while theyre down, the host would eventually grow a tolerance to the pain and simply become numb. that means that it cant get any more misery out of its host and it would have to find another one.

So! it allows the host some joy. In cappuccinos case, it primarily involves his vacations :]c before she actually knows what causes all of the bad things in his life she just knew that Everything was always bad and miserable unless she was relaxing. while she was working, things would constantly injure her, nothing would stay organized, and bad things just kept happening one after another, but on vacation everything seemed to be just fine!! Great even! shes just able to surf or relax or nap and just ENJOY things instead of being hit by falling lights and bookshelves. even though every car shes ever been in has crashed hes always been safe on planes. of course its not all sunshine and rainbows because she can hardly even enjoy the break when he cant stop thinking about how AWFUL its going to be to go back to work

BUT!! the point is that her days off are like the ONLY times that he finds peace. Which is partially why hes so eager to catch another break!!! misfortune lets her have these lovely days but also uses it as an opportunity to make bad things happen during/right before her breaks so that theyre cancelled or cut short and shes filled with disappointment<3

this is also why it let langue into cappuccinos life ! of course it could EASILY just kill them but cappuccino was already getting a little too miserable and was far too adjusted to all of the bad luck in his life already so langue was the perfect solution to that problem. And also created misery all on their own like the longing cappuccino feels before they actually get together. And now that cappuccino has langue in her life and theyre someone who makes her so happy misfortune is able to cause harm to them/mess with cappuccino's plans of meeting them and just cause more distress :]c

of course that plan backfired when langue managed to weaken it and make cappuccino's life decent enough to the point it was forced to leave OOPS!!!!

but yeah ,,, i dont know i just love messing with this thang. too much misfortune is bad because then the host will adapt so it has to be a little lenient so the person doesnt feel completely and utterly hopeless >:] and in the event that the host does become useless to it then it simply posesses them to commit crimes and just cause misery to other people than the host before exiting the body and leaving it to bleed out and die

OKAY WHOOPEEE thats all i have to talk about right now i hope this is at least somewhat cohesive im kindof tired right now . BUT WOO RAVEN TIME!!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK IT WAS SO SO FUN TO DRAW ANS ANSWER /GEN AGHH hope you enjoy the drawings as much as i enjoyed making them X] ill likely put them in a seperate post since im really proud of the first one and i kind of want it to be in a post of its own agahsbfkhf

ALSO IVE ALREADY ANSWERED THIS BUT YESS ABSOLUTELY !!! I WOJLD ABSPLUTELY LOVE TO SEE FANART AUAGHHFF <333 YOU ARE SO SWEET !!!

if anyone has any further questions/comments feel free to shoot me an ask ! X]

[dailymidori]

HI GUYS IM OTSU YOU PROBABLY KNOW ME HAHA VERY FAMOUS BLOGGER YES THATS ME WELCOME TO MY BLOG WHERE ILL POST MIDORI ART HOPEFULLY EVERY DAY BUT IT MIGHT BE MORE LIKE EVERY WEEK

FACTS ABT ME

IM OTSU OR OAT OR WHATEVER IDGAF

PRNS ARE HE/HIM I AM A MAN

IVE BEEN A MIDORI ENJOYER SINCE LIKE 2021 I THINK…… JEEZ TIME RLLY FLIES

IM NOT A FAN OF SUICIDE JOKES CUZ THEYRE BAD FOR U BUT IF YOU LIKE MY ART AND DONT RB IT I MIGHT ACTUALLY HANG MYSELF

Q+A WHO IS MIDORI?? midori (also named sou hiyori) is a character from the game your turn to die (also called kimi ga shine) hes the main antagonist of chapter 3A and my GOD i want him to antagonize me WHAT DO YOU SHIP [INSERT MIDORI SHIP HERE]?? THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY NO BUT ILL STILL DRAW IT ANYWAY IF U WANT DO YOU TAKE REQUESTS?? sure!! give me some ideas folks ARE YOU A MIDORI APOLOGIST? YEAH SORRY I THINK ITS REALLY HOT WHEN HE KILLS AND TORTURES AND MANIPULATES PEOPLE DONT CANCEL ME

[intertexts]

OKAY. HI HI HI HI HI. THOUGHTS ON NHW MAL POWERS

i am going 2 leave the actual classification up to you because i dont have the innate sense of them yet like i do for classpects and such and i know im banned from the wiki rn so ill just talk about. base level What I Think He Can Do.

FIRST OF ALL. THE BIG THING. GHOUL. so. technically if i remember correctly. mal isnt a planeswalker like william is so ghoul is technically a separate being? ghoul is his guide, which is what allows him to go between the real world and the spirit world. HOWEVER. ghoul is nothing to me so in nhw world i think he should just be like. a separate form. mal turns into ghoul and its the same consciousness u know? hes the same guy hes just a freak now. worm comparison i am thinking is like. what rachel does to her dogs except hes doing it to himself. with the gross muscles and bones and big mouth and shit.

OTHER THAN THAT i thinkkkkkk. ok. hear me out. i am going 2 base this on a tweet bizly made forever ago (that im SO MAD i cant find a picture of rn) but the basics was like. u remember that nightmare dakota had back in season 1 where he saw william and vyncent kill summer . that was a nightmare that mal gave him in order to split the three of them up. SO WHAT IF. nhw mal has some sort of dream/mind manipulation abilities or something. hes had so many moments where he just like. appears out of the shadows in order to get them to do what he wants im just imagining the horror of that from an outside perspective just seeing one of the heroes mid battle just Fall Asleep for a while. but to them its like nothing happens and they dont realize it until he leaves and theyre waking up. do you see my vision here.

either that or i think his powers should be like. kind of countered to wibby? i know in pd his powers are similar to williams bc hes a ghost and everything but. im thinking we dont do that in nhw. INSTEAD. maybe in ghoul form or whatever he has heightened senses/abilities that allow him to see through things like invisibility and touch things that are intangible. (thinking abt this strategy-wise, it would be their goal to take him down as mal BEFORE he transforms bc then he becomes almost impossible for william to fight) . maybe this seems too targeted against william specifically but im jsut thinking like. ghoul in general just makes him more powerful and those are just a couple specific advantages he gets? uh oh im running out of words in my brain help

MAYBE THIS IS. TOO MUCH IN TOO MANY DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS. so he doesnt have to have all of these at once. i am really just throwing spaghetti noodles at your inbox and seeing what sticks to the wall or whatever the phrase is. hi it took me like an hour to type all of this bc i kept getting distracted and forgetting words!!!!!!!!!!!

YEAHHHH YAYUAYAY THIS IS ALL GOOD SPAGHETTI!!!!!!! too much in too many directions is so fun dude i fucking love being the rubber ducky for shit like this!!

i REALLY ENJOY fucked up body horror changer shit... ough. (thats what him physically changing like rachels dogs would b, as opposed 2 breakers who-- oh god it's too late for this. umm. physical change different than energy form etc.)... he should get 2 be a weird terrifying freak thing. with bone & blood n stuff. & there's precedent for changing in a way that alters ur senses & powers etc..... maybe he choose what and how he transforms to respond in a certain way or target a certain scenario. i dont wanna go fishing rn but remind me tmrw n i'll rb this with some screenshots from ward of the guy im thinking of who this reminds me of!!

that being said the idea of him having big mind manipulation stuff is also SO compelling. god. being able to like... create illusions & scenarios that are completely fake. delude people or put them to sleep or mess with their cognition in ways they dont even notice... alter perception of reality.... especially if he has a wide range of effect?? that goes hard!!! how long would it last... how would u snap out of it... could he make u feel stuff that's not real??? ok ok ok getting off track. anyway. i love the idea of a fight with him being timed because he's transforming.... maybe a form that's just. very good at Seeing Things? mal/ghouls original job was like, as a cleaner for clarence, right? making sure everything in the afterlife's in order? so many choices...

[jackienautism]

I just saw that post about your thoughts on the counselors and I'm curious, have there been any major changes since then?

i just skimmed the post youre talking abt (i write a lot huh) but honestly? i haven't had TOO many major changes since. JUST REALIZED ITS COMING UP TO AYEAR SINCE I POSTED IT IN MAY? THATS SO CRAZY TO ME WTF but anyway

nvm ill read through exactly what i said. the post is here btw

dylan: still pretty much the same opinion as back then LMAO i did have a more recent convo abt dylan (which def changed some thoughts abt him. esp related to his potential adhd and lack of a filter) but i stilll don't like him, sorry

nick: same thoughts as before honestly. i still think he doesn't deserve abi in the slightest. and his involvement w/ emma's dare still makes me very upset, ESP when the fanbase refuses to acknowledge his involvement in it lol. i dont doubt that racism comes into play w/ nick and his whole lack of a story and such, but i jut. i cant stand him

jacob: i take back the flip flop thing btw. i lowkey cant stand him. but to be honest:? ive gotten WAAAY less tolerant of male characters in general lately. and jacob is not exempt from this lol. i have yet to play TQ again (it's been quite a bit) but! maybe after we play tonight things will change. ill prob rb again if things do

ryan: HOWEVER. DO YOU KNOW /IS/ EXEMPT FROM MY "I HATE ALL MALE CHARACTERS" MINDSET? RYAN ERZAHLER. 100%. i love him lots and ppl r very mean to him fo r no reason. i talked abt this briefly in my angourie!cady post but just. when characters show certain autistic traits that YOU ALL cant deal w/ or understand, suddenly theyre a shitty person? they don't care abt their friends? theyre boring? KILLS YOU

max: he also is a pretty respectable guy to me i love you max. but as i said originally. i dont rly think abt him much

emma: she def had the biggest shift for me while playing the game for the first time!!!!! but in terms of like. if anything changed from when i wrote the original note? i dont rly think so tbh. reread waht i wrot eback then it rly makes it seem like i hate her 😭😭😭😭😭 I PROMISE I DONT..... I ACTUALLY LOVE HER SO MUCH...... SHE MEANS A LOT TO ME....... i just cant stand how she acts towards abi sometimes. def my biggest criticism of her. but at the same time. i understand WHY she acts the way she does. she means sooo muchto me. and esp seeing all your talk abt autistic emma? i just think that makes sooo much sense fo rher.and i LOVE it so much

kaitlyn: i dont even feel lik e going throuhg it all but. i feel like she may have gotten a little lower since i wrote that post? just bc i tjhink toooo many ppl think shes better than she actually is bc of her association w/ dylan? it pisses me off sooooo bad. and ive made posts abt this before but like. her character in general still aggravates me 😭 and i DO still stand by what i said in that og post. theres jsut... shes not that complex sorry guys. esp compared to EMILY? lLIKE. i know its unfair to compare the 2 but its pretty damn obvious that thye were going for another emily in kaitlyn lmao and they FAILED. MISERABLY

abi: oh.. abi oh abi i love you. i still hold her so close to me. she is so me for real (beats anyone up who says tjhat she's Them) i mean who said that

laura: LOVE U LAURA!!!!!!!!! i still dont have like TOO many in depth thouhgts abt her but just. know ever since i began roleplaying as her shes become THAT much more beloved and :] i love you girl

THAJK YOU FOR SENIDNG THIS IN!!!! AND SORRY FOR TAKING A BIT TO ANSWER

[camzverse]

What do you think of the ending of "Disassembled Vanny"?

As for me, this is the most interesting ending in the game and I would like to you opinion.

hmm. to be frank, i havent really thought about the ending very much before but hey alright sure ill say some stuff ab it

i think its extremely tragic. ESPECIALLY tragic for vanessa. she essentially acts as a sacrificial lamb here. yeah, sure, you stop vanny, but you sacrifice an innocent person. vanessa dies having never been freed. she never wanted any of this. in fact, considering vanessas past, its almost like she dies having never really experienced freedom. between her shitty father and getting glitchtrapped in her early 20s, its like she didnt have much time to just. be herself?. to be her own person. to live a life where she doesnt have to follow anyones orders, and she can just do what she wants. she dies never really having gotten that. and she dies alone. throughout all this time, who did she have that she could trust or could be there for her? she had nobody. the closest thing she had to a friend was luis, but well yk.. ehhhh. its like she was doomed from the start. and the only person that could have finally saved her just.. didnt. and thats just. it. thats how her story ends. like that.

there wont be any more disappearances, but at what cost? they stopped vanny, but vanessas dead. also freddy is broken. gregory wouldnt be able to fix freddy would he? what does greg do then? theyre gone. hes completely alone now. its just fucked up, none of them get a real happy ending there. and actually, even then i think glitchtrap isnt really stopped. killing vanny wouldnt like. destroy the program. glitchtrap still exists. it seems entirely possible that after some time it would just start all over again, and it wouldve all been for nothing. something something killing the symptom not the disease idk

the ending also raises a lot of questions for me in terms of gregorys like.. reasoning? thought process? during this. did he know vanny was vanessa? i think he definitely knew there was a person under there, hence how he winced and tries not to look (and seemingly had no similar reaction when the animatronics were disassembled). so was he aware of the reality of the choice he was making? that he was killing another person? had he played the princess quest games? was he going to play princess quest 3, but backed out at the last second? was he scared, did he not think he had enough time to finish the game before vanny could catch him? was he just doing it because freddy said to? i mean i dont think so, gregory generally listens to freddy but throughout security breach we see him make his own choices many times and greg doesnt really do anything that he doesnt think is a right choice. unless he was just kind of out of character there, this was gregorys choice. i really wonder what the circumstances wouldve been in that ending, and what thought process led him to make that choice.

i think it might just straight up be the worst ending idk. like outcome-wise. its also honestly just really unsatisfying to me but its not even real and it didnt happen so whateverrr its fineeeeee. anyyway thats everything i have to say about it rn. if i think of anything else id like to add ill rb with more but i think thats all folks

[skybristle]

more sparks please. girl what happened to you and do i have to kill anyone

rbs > likes

These two. dw shes already fucking them up. hashtag feminism! [they are also both women]

these two n what they do to her [i wont go fully into it but just elaborae since i already summarized it here in my post abt maw but]. yeah. When she was constructed she was a very ambitious iterator and very. jittery and eager to help her kind and very very radiant. probably the perfect iterator!

of course.... as ive probably heavily alluded to ash is a POS ! as her senior, and the only one in their group at the time, she looks to him for guidance and feels so terrible finding out how fucked up he is with his own colony and how he is struggling to bear it [he IS depressed and chronically ill however also just. has zero accoutnability or responsibility whatsoever and refuses to recongize his mistakes ever or consider his actions beyond what he receives from them] so of course as they fall for eachther and she helps him shoulder his burden he simply takes it for granted and does little to return the favor. its soo unbalanced and unhealthy but sparks is just trying and trying because god !! she wants to be good !! she wants to help people !!! so fucking bad!!!

but shes left bleeding alone, in an overextended structure as they operate on her while shes awake, overclocking her systems and sendinf electricity like lightning down her puppet, he basically messages maw Once to try and get her to knock it off before falling back into his patter nof laziness like welp! did what i can do ! and has the audacity to whine to sparks about feeling inadequate. and she really has no choice but to get back up and dust herself off and live with this reality, which persists quite literally forever, even if its less stressful when her colony eventually leaves. and she stays stuck in this delusion that ash couldnt have done any more and that it was just unfortunate and.. he still needs her help she cant leave him in the dust [what did he do to her again?].

especially as their local group slowly grows and he kind of refuses to accept the responsibility so sparks is also shouldering mentorship and taking care of them and etc. the only exception really is whispers who isnt allowed to speak to sparks because their colony is an asshole so they grow close to their designated senior and ash actually does take the kid kinda under his wing as much as he sucks, mainly at sparks concerns initially.

shes also. super badly traumatized by maw and a lot of that fear and paranoia echo especially later on when maw *actually hurts another iterator*. shes well aware how much maw resents her and maw is the only thing to really scare her. over time sparks loses her whimsy and just becomes very calcualted and dilligent. takes little pleasure in it anymore but if shes not working shes nothing, even as she makes her issues and overextension worse she hasnt rested in ages.

once mass ascension happens and ash bascialyl goes 'welp im done. see ya'll' now that nobody is literally there to make him do his job and goes into sleepmode completely disregarding all the work sparks has done for their group and for *him* not just to appease his colony on his behalf thats when she finally breaks this delusion she has and fucking snaps. she still is kidn of in the position where now shes FORCED To hold authority because hes gone but doesnt bother to try with those who dont answer to her. shes just so angry and frustrated and just workaholics it all away but its really. its not helpful long term and this anger is just building as things in their group get worse and worse as he sleeps in the distance none the wiser.

and, finally, when whisper's emergency broadcast rings true and all hell breaks loose- and he wakes up and the first thing he does is crawl back to sparks to make her do his shit again without even acknowledging his abandonment for many many kilocycles she just completely fucking loses it on him. dedicates herself to- rather than try to put ehr group back together and aid whispers, she just charges headfirst into hurting everyone whos ever hurt her. im still trying to figure out what goes on with maw but as for ash. she creates the brainiac to steal his seniority but also just hijack his structure in an incredibly painful manner. just so she can feel her pain. oh, and just like her, she wont have anyone to crawl to for sympathy [being needlessly cruel and ignoring others suffering? sounds a lot like maw. disregarding the needs of your group to chase a selfish goal as someone lay dying? sounds a lot like ash. lol. lmao even].

after she gets the seniority crown she starts having a guilt crisis. then whispers. uhm. Well. Escapes starlight's can and jumps in the void sea [ive been alluding to it this whole time but nobodies said anything so. ill just lay that here and let u guys react] she finally realizes how badly she fucked up [thats what makes her better than maw and ash] and what shes done and how much shes kind of fucked over her bridges with the people who actually cared about her [chimes and ochre especially] and. yeah. i need to piece out what happens after this still but i mean starlight and maw r still kicking around and sparks now has the responsibiltiy to do SOMETHING which would probably resul in violent retallion from at least maw and kick this bs and sparks hurt and anger up all over again. lol. lmao even.