#dont succeed well enough

[radiantaerynsvn]

someone kick my ass into finishing the final touches on my aeryn sun art because it's been taking me too long and enough is Enough

[kaocat-tatatat]

Just read the comic Arkham Asylum: A Serious House On A Serious Earth recently and I am surprised how little fanfiction I can find around the idea of Bruce being trapped in Arkham, there's so much you could do with it (and stories focusing on a decent into madness/breakdown of a characters psyche are very interesting to me).

if anyone has any fanfic relating to this idea they can recommend, please do!

[theloveinc]

i wish i liked ethel cain as much as i like nicole....... cuz i really think she could outdo the doer if she tried but in my mind... just isnt? for some reason?

[cassielsunstone]

Man, I wish I had a Zora group space or something to be a part of. To make friends and work on our own domains together and whatnot. Admire the stories and art everyone has, and other zelda things on the side.

[svbhuman]

GOT ME GIGGLING AND KICKING MY FEET

[quaranmine]

Quara why are you doing this to yourself. ArcGISonline is a pain on a good day when you know how they do things.

- 🐘

i have severely underestimated how godawful this web program is. send help. i have been attempting to created my own layers for....a few hours now. why is it so unintuitive!!!!!!

as for the why. i want pretty map to stick in a report i'll probably have to give :(

the secondary why is that i dont really have any other things that i have to today, so this is keeping me occupied. my workload sort of changes depending on the time of year and this is the Slow Season for sure

[noxtivagus]

i'll succeed with everything. definitely.

[urwonnly]

— ꩜ ENHYPEN BF HCS !

# hyung line ver.

# genre : fluff

# format : bulletpoint

# warnings : none :3

# note : i'll be posting maknaes soon! there may also be a nsfw ver. for legal line... (these r my opinions, they are not meant to be an accurate portrayal of any of them. this is me being delusional lmao)

# tags : @hoonigiris @kimsohn bc i would not have finished this without them <3 thank u for helping me with this

⟢ HEESEUNG

loves seeing you get along with his friends. like it genuinely makes him feel like you can fit right into his life so perfectly 

wants something long term, looks to be with someone he can spend a long time with

casual intimacy; holding your hand in a crowd, hand around your waist when you stand next to each other, resting his head on your head. just likes to feel close to you :( 

likes taking you places, like you tell him you wanna try this new food spot and he says hes picking you up in ten minutes 

uses cheesy one liners just to see your face scrunch up before you laugh, thinks your laugh is the most beautiful thing 

rarely uses your name, he is always calling you some sort of pet name (and when he wants to be silly he calls you shit like “beautiful sweetie muffin cake”) 

he will pout if you dont use a term of endearment back

is also super supportive and encouraging; you mention slight interest in a new hobby and he’s immediately sending you videos of things you’d need and asking if you want him to get it for you

he loves seeing you succeed in whatever you put your mind to and loves to know that he can be a motivation behind those achievements 

you call him your muse one time and he almost cries 

hates to see you down, is the type to immediately try and cheer you up. but if you tell him you need space he will respect that (but he’ll still stay near you and fidget nervously because he doesn’t like not knowing what to do) 

⟢ JAY

the most supportive™︎, like you just know he's always there for you whenever you need him

wants to feel needed; he just wants to know that he's taking care of you well, i imagine him constantly checking up on you and asking if you’ve eaten or drank water etc

more of a quiet lover; his love language speaks through actions more than words 

loveslovesloves dinner dates, likes to see the both of you dressed nice and looking good and loves to take pics of you eating good food

i dont see him doing matching couple outfits but he Does do coordinated couple outfits; his tie is gonna match the color of your dress, matches his accessories to yours 

i dont think he frequently uses pet names but he says your name so gently, your name is a term of endearment in itself 

loves to buy you things!! especially stuff you can wear or use everyday. he spends so much money on you and wont bat an eyelash abt it

likes to take pics of you, has an entire album on his phone full of pics of you and keeps a polaroid of you in his wallet 🙂‍↕️

you Never have to ask to wear his things, he literally doesn’t care. he won’t even ask for them back, he wants you to keep it. you asked one time to wear a hoodie and he’s like “of course babe, whatever you want.” and then tells you you don’t need to ask ever

⟢ JAKE

he becomes head over heels so fast, just absolutely enamored 

he had a crush on you for soooo long, like all the other members were painfully aware of it way before he was and it lasted so long, u ended up realizing before he ever confessed

i think if he was a bit intimidated by you, you may have had to be the one to ask him out first

he loves going out just as much as he loves staying in but when you two do go out, he likes to be doing something fun 

also big on casual intimacy; wants to be holding you in some way at all times. he rests his head on you, has his pinky intertwined with yours, plays with your fingers while you're talking, keeps an arm around your waist or shoulders

wants to show you all the things he’s interested in; soon enough you start sharing interests just bc of how much he talks about them 

the most caring, is always willing to listen to you vent if you’ve had a rough day or celebrate with you if you’ve had a good day 

he will absolutely go on long-winded rants about some niche subject only he's well-knowledgeable in and you sit there listening to him with hearts in your eyes bc he gets so animated abt whatever it is (...even if you have no clue what he's talking about)

even after dating, he still acts like he has a crush on you; getting flustered when you call him baby, blushing when you catch him staring, etc

also loves to have pictures of you, any pic you’ve sent him is immediately saved in his camera roll and added to his collection; you’re probably his wallpaper on All his devices 

in a non idol au he would most definitely flood his insta story and feed with all the pics he takes of you

talks about you all. the. time. (save jayhoon atp) 

he swears he falls more in love with you every day. like if he looks at you for too long he starts having heart palpitations (real). every time he sees you smile he feels like he has a crush all over again and he can’t help but follow you around with hearts in his eyes.

⟢ SUNGHOON

takes his time; you two have probably established you like each other for some time now but he doesn’t want to rush into things

also wants something long term; has no patience for games lmao 

i think he’s cautious about his heart, he wants to fully know he’s ready before he dives into anything

once you do make it official, he brags about you to anyone who will listen any chance he gets 

so supportive and knows how to push you when you start to lose motivation, will always want the best and more for you 

wants you to confide in him, even about the little things; tell him what you did today or who got on your nerves at work he lives for it 

he is a listener; feels like he can never know enough about you so he’s constantly keeping you talking 

also likes when you show interest in him and his passions; he gets shy about it but underneath that he loves it

the pictures he takes of you are almost always you being silly or cute; you wear one of his hoodies for the first time and he cannot keep the smile off his face because he thinks you’re adorable 

power couple vibes; likes when people gawk at the two of you in public (he likes to show you off) 

is possessive but not in a “you're mine.” way….. like he thinks he's subtle about it and he's definitely not. he leaves his hoodies at your house in hopes you'll wear it one day or he keeps an extra jacket in the car for you in case you forget yours. and when the day comes and you complain about being cold he's like “you can wear my jacket… you know if you want to..” and of course you know he's been waiting for this but you think it's funny to see him try and play it cool. 

[myalvmss]

⎯⎯ DATING HEADCANONS WITH AQUAMARINE HOSHINO❞

CHARACTERS. aquamarine hoshino, ruby hoshino, ai hoshino, akane kurokawa mention

MISSION. headcanons ; adventure mission, silent yet shining

WARNINGS. mentions of pregnancy & sex? this is mostly just me digging into aqua's character more and more, ANGST will most definitely be in this, but dont worry!

BUTTERFLY'S NOTE. special thanks to my friend named Ryu I guess LMAOAOAOAO. THIS IS SHORT??

⌗O1: when I tell you, this man makes me frustrated every two seconds of reading the manga, I have a love and hate relationship with this man that not even scaramouche can compete with, BECAUSE RIGHT OFF THE BAT, HE'S A RED FLAG. BAHAHAHAH 😭

⌗O2: when you two first meet, he barely does effort in the so called friendship, or what he thinks of acquaintance.

UNLESS you are of use to his plan, so he'll probably use you, sorry bitch </3

⌗O3: this mf's ideal type is just someone like ai hoshino (imo NO ONE can replace her, not even akane sorry not sorry) and what makes you think you can pull off an ai?

i suggest you CHANGE him, not change yourself for him honey

⌗O4: this depends on your personality, but the relationship might be a sunshine reader while aqua's the grumpy one LMFAOAOAOAO

⌗O5: aqua doesn't engage in social media much, unlike his twin sister ruby. in other words, he's a boomer yet I'm not surprised so it's mostly you who takes pictures and videos of u both

⌗O6: you and aqua often go on dates at the cafe, park, or mostly private places where you two can get alone time with no interruptions

⌗O7: he's SO OVERPROTECTIVE ABOUT YOU. imagine yandere aqua omfg, he even makes sure that you're safe and doing well everyday

A caring boyfriend but a red flag 🚩

⌗O8: In the song, "MEPHISTO" I think there's a lyric where "I'll bet my life, I'll give it to you" would imply that to the people he cares about, aqua WILL risk his life for you. THOUGH this song probably directs to ai, or ruby? but either way, he still cares about you if you were actually his girlfriend. not just for his revenge plan, but purely his own love for you.

yet sometimes I think, "would aqua even bother asking you to be his girlfriend at a time crisis like this?"

It's a possibility he wants to keep you safe and unharmed from danger, so he'll probably lock up his feelings from you and keep it a secret so no danger will come for you, but it's not guaranteed </3

⌗O9: in an au where ai is alive, I wouldn't say that ai would straight away approve of your relationship with aqua. she's a mother, yes but not those kinds who don't give a fuck abt relationships ykwim?

when she first met you, she's a bit suspicious of you, especially if you're someone who's young, but your mind is well beyond your age.

It took a while, but she got used to you around with aqua and genuinely loves you

“you two aren't getting a kid, right?” just a few reassurances that YOU BOTH AREN'T GOING THE SAME ROUTE AS WHAT SHE DID.. “mama! don't ask questions out of the blue like that!” ruby come rescue us both PLS

“mama.. cut it out please,” insert a little bit of a flushed red aqua PLSS

⌗10: honestly, taking back the topic where you change aqua actually would work, because this man is wanting revenge and is willing to kill his father.

you can't be the one who helps him, that will end up ugly if he does succeed, because let's not forget how aqua can get arrested despite being a minor, yet he's 17 (currently in manga) and he might turn 18 soon enough

so you have to BE THE SAVIOR who changes aqua to be a better person and set aside this revenge

honestly. it's not worth it, I KNOW this is about ai hoshino getting her justice, but would she wanna see her kids in danger like this??

DON'T go off like "aqua this isn't like you 🥺🥺" NO LMAO. you knew aqua when he was 16, that's a super high possibility on who you met him, and the person he is now is just the same aquamarine hoshino you him at sixteen

just imo, you need to convince aqua that his revenge path won't do anything better for anyone's lives, because correctly he's ruining everything — the man probably doesn't care but you gotta make him care and move on for the better like how ai would want for him and ruby

ENOUGH WITH THE DARK SHIT LMFAO PLS AHAHAHAHAH

⌗11: if you're smaller than aqua, then he'll probably use you as a head rest

lay his head on your shoulder

rest his head on your lap

place his head ontop of yours

⌗12: SURPRISE BACK HUGS >>>>>

⌗13: whenever aqua is jealous, he always keeps it a secret from you so that you won't tease him about it

think of a scenario where you're talking to some guy on the street, a fan or an old friend;

aqua would slowly wrap his arm around your waist and pull you towards him WHILE giving the guy a very overprotective look

⌗14: he can't help it but aqua always compliments you in his mind, like how cute or gorgeous you are

⌗15: i like to think you both started getting together after his so-called revenge plan for his father

⌗16: aqua's careful around you, by that I mean when it comes to sex. he doesn't wanna end up being a replica of his father.

by that I mean, he'd ask for consent first for sex ( aqua's not entirely that kind of person who doesn't ask for consent )

and also would not have sex during his teenage years, as he prefers to have it at adult years ykyk

⌗17: you're a pain in the ass for him, gotta say that BAHAHAHHAHAH

⌗18: since in aqua's past life, he was a doctor ( bro's a DOCTOR. ) that took medical education, it's a high chance that he still remembers a few things

probably trauma from learning all that pain of a education lmao

⌗18: so whenever you get hurt, aqua's always the one who bandages you :))

⌗19: since aqua dislikes bell peppers, you probably shove those in aqua's mouth for shits and giggles AHAHAHA

⌗20: he acts like 'himself' (or the past him) when you're around, and you're the only person who could do that

“i noticed that he's like how he used to be when he's around y/n..” ruby spoke to herself, watching aqua and y/n from afar as a small smile appeared on her face. “I'm happy for them both.”

[ellabsweet]

FAVORITE WORKS!

[ just a lil compilation constantly updated of my favorite works by writers on here to give them a little love and help my own navigation in no particular order whatsoever ok? ok i love these ]

(.1) 𝐒𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐋 by @cherriesxinthespring

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: the alcohol just wasn't enough to numb out your nervous feeling of starting your residency at seattle grace hospital. but a new, blonde, muscular distraction approached you at the bar, turning out to not only be the greatest fuck of your life... but something else.

(.2) 𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐄 by @s-4pphics

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: they dont have a summary but ellie is your sister’s best friend and you’re in love with her and it’s beautiful and you will cry both out of your eyes and puss-

(.3) 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 by @totheblood

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you've never been on a date, hell, you've never even kissed anyone. ellie decides to be a good best friend and teach you how! wow.. so kind of her..

(.4) 𝐈 𝐖𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐑 by @hazelnutsforellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you and ellie are best friends, first year college roommates that never separated. when a friend asks for your help in making her ex jealous, you succeed... and seem to smash not one, but two hearts with one singular kiss.

(.5) 𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐒 by @cinnnamongrl

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie williams has never been the 'sorority type'. but when she meets you, she realises maybe spending college as a part of eta alpha rho isn't so bad.

(.6) 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓 by @cowgirlcherrie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: california; while known for its heat, legal marijuana, and hardcore skate culture, is the center of all disasters, especially for a local town skater who falls in love with her ex’s sweetheart roommate. the two teaming up to keep the past in the past and let the skater get the girl of her dreams.

(.7) 𝐖𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐍𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐒 by @spaceshipellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: modern au, ellie and reader are in their mid twenties. ellie and reader have been friends for years. their friendship has always been a little bit flirty but nothing has ever happened between them, not like that. well, not yet anyway…

(.8) 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 by @hope-drunk

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: a year ago, abby left you suddenly after a month long love affair. now she's back to convince you she's changed.

(.9) 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 by @spaceshipellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: in the midst of the apocalypse, you and ellie find each other after you’ve both lost everything. what started out as a mere safety in numbers pairing, turns into something imperishable. however, after some time you get separated, leaving you both to believe the other is dead. four years later you find a commune in wyoming.

(.10) 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐑𝐄 by @abbysvictim

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you decide to travel back to your hometown to rekindle an old relationship and meet a mysterious stranger on your journey.

(.11) 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐌𝐄 by @elliessknife

pairing: ellabs x reader

summary: where abby is reader’s ex and ellie tries to get with her

(.12) 𝐍𝐎𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 by @elliesbelle

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: you’re in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

(.13) 𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐄𝐃 by @solaceocean

pairing: ellabs x reader

summary: ellie was just some random girl that walked into your work. you didn’t expect to be in a two month long relationship with her even when she hasn’t met your five year old son or didn’t even know you had a kid.

(.14) 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 by @elliespeach

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: ellie owns her own vinyl store and the day you wander in changes both of your lives forever. she quickly becomes infatuated with you, desperate for your love that she believes is meant to be. when things in your life begin to spiral, ellie is there to catch you, but you'd never suspect she was the reason you fell in the first place.

(.15) 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 by @phantombriide

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: after a messy and brutal breakup with your long term girlfriend, ellie williams, you were quickly chased off of the internet and away from your life as a social media influencer. with your friends and the majority of your fan base wanting nothing to do with you, your attempt to put yourself back out there seems more difficult than you originally expected, especially with the continuing backlash and an unknown person who is determined to make your life hell.

(.16) 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 by @seattlesellie

pairing: ellie williams x reader

summary: it’s ellie’s birthday, and you have three gifts for her. a moonflower bouquet, the latest savage starlight, and a pin from joel. maybe, you even have a fourth one.

(.17) 𝐎𝐁𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 by @bxtchycaprisun

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you’re a new medic in the WLF base. you’re young, hardworking, and the thing that abby anderson hated the most, stubborn.

(.18) 𝐘𝐄𝐒 𝐌𝐒.𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 by @abbysvictim

pairing: abby anderson x reader

summary: you’re failing, and you’re fucked if you’re failing so you enlist the help of your favorite teacher to raise those grades — and your heart rate.

[jjsmaybank20]

Hiiiii, I was wondering if you could write a Barca femini x teen reader fic where she is under an immense amount of pressure from the media and more specifically her father and believes she has to do it all, she has to be perfect, she has to make her father proud. So she balances the weight of school, Barca training and matches, and the extra training she does (she legit runs herself into the ground in an attempt to forgot about all the pressure she is under, however this only causes her to feel even more stressed). The team specifically the captains, More so Alexia start to notice. They ask her if she is doing well and she denies anything is wrong saying she is fine with no further Answer. Reader decides she doesn’t have time for sleep and has to get as much school work done, so she has more time to do extra trainings. So she starts getting like 5 hours of sleep per night or less which is definitely not enough for a pro athlete to function. She keeps this up for a few weeks or days idk. When Alexia and the other decide enough is enough and they intervene. Reader tries to deny it and get up and leave but Alexia isn’t having it and just hugs reader tightly and then they all end up comforting her. They all tell her she needs more sleep and it’s okay to take a day off so she can take care of herself.

You def dont have to write this i jus though i would ask🫶

Feel Good

Barcelona Femení x Fem!Teen!Reader Alexia Putellas x Fem!Teen!Reader

Summary: R is under immense pressure to succeed, but it doesn't take long for it to become too much.

Warnings: R passing out, R doesn't have a good relationship with her father

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I changed a few small things, but not too dramatically. Hope you like it!

navigation  woso masterlist

---

From a young age, you always strove to be the best you could possibly be. You worked hard, constantly pushing yourself to be better. When watching you study, train, and play in matches, people would describe you as a perfectionist. You didn’t disagree with that description, but you did believe that you needed to be perfect in order to gain the approval of your team, the fans, and especially your father. 

Y/F/N had always been a cold and tough man. Never generous with his praise, and almost overwhelming with his need for perfection, he ruled your life and your career with an iron fist since the day you showed an exceptional talent for football. You made your way through the youth teams with impressive speed, finding yourself on the Barça B team at the age of 15 and finally being promoted to the first team at the young age of 16. 

Being one of the youngest on the team, the senior players took you under their wing. Lucy and Mapi would joke around with you, while Alexia and Irene would take care of you and keep you on the right track to the point that you saw them as your motherly figures. For a long time, it had just been you and your dad, your mother never really in the picture. You grew up thinking that the only way for someone to love you was if you were practically flawless in every aspect of life, so naturally you assumed it would be the same with the team. 

---

For a while, you were able to balance everything. There was a delicate routine that needed to be followed that guaranteed you would complete your schoolwork on time while also performing the best you possibly could in matches and practices. You were strict with yourself, keeping up a rigorous schedule that impressed even the senior players. 

Slowly, though, your rigid daily life starts to slip through your fingers. It begins when your father starts to comment more and more on a slip in your performance that you don’t even notice. You don’t argue back with him, though. Instead, you decide to add extra practice every day to your regimen. Those added hours of practice means you have to push your schoolwork further into the night, telling yourself that it needs to get done, no matter how late it is. 

Your nights get continuously later, and it begins to take a toll on your performance at practice. At first, your teammates think you're having an off day, and then an off week. When your performance doesn’t improve after that first week, the girls start to get worried. Watching you idly kick a ball around from the sidelines, Alexia murmurs, “I’m worried about la pequeña. She’s been so quiet lately.” Mapi hums in agreement. “She won’t joke around with me anymore. Says that she needs to focus.” The Zaragozan looks at you just as you miss the ball you were juggling. You let out a deep sigh before picking it up and starting again. Mapi’s chest fills with concern at the sight. “She looks so tired.”

You continue to practice, not noticing the two senior player’s eyes on you. After completing the exercise you were working on, you pack the balls up and head inside to the gym. Placing your earbuds in, you don’t notice how Patri and Pina watch you with shock in their eyes as you slip past them on their way out of the gym. 

They flag down Alexia and Mapi as they pass the duo, hoping that they would be able to give some insight as to why you were working out after practice was over. Instead of reassuring them, their captain and Mapi share a glance full of concern. They quickly walk towards the gym, hoping to get some sort of explanation out of you as to why you were pushing yourself so hard. 

As you side step with a resistance band around your legs, you begin to feel light headed. Instead of stopping, you decide that you can just push through and that it will pass with time. Just as Alexia and Mapi reach the gym, your body finally gives up out of exhaustion and your eyes roll back into your head as you crumple to the ground. 

Alexia rushes to your side, pulling your head into her lap. “Get the trainers, now!” Mapi rushes out of the room, following the order immediately. As she anxiously waits, Alexia runs her hands through your hair. Up close, she can now see the dark bags under your eyes from a lack of sleep. “Oh, cariño. What is going on with you?” 

---

As you come to, you are met with the semi-harsh fluorescent lights of the recovery room. Everything seems blurry at first, causing you to blink your eyes to clear away the fog. You groan as you try to sit up, realizing with a start that your head is absolutely throbbing. Even through the pain, you still feel more rested than you have in weeks. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes, trying to block out the bright light. Someone lightly touches your back, startling you. 

“Hey, hey! Calm down, cariño. It’s just me.” You settle slightly at the soothing tone of Alexia’s voice. When you finally glance around the room, you are met with quite a few pairs of worried eyes belonging to your teammates. 

Finally, you look at Alexia. Her eyes are filled with such deep concern that you can’t help but turn away again. She softly speaks up from beside you, asking, “What is going on with you? You look like you haven’t slept in weeks, you seem constantly stressed out, and you haven’t taken a day off in months. I mean, you literally passed out from exhaustion, por dios!” 

You stare at your lap, knowing that as soon as you look up, you’re going to break down. “I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” Alexia can’t help but get a tiny bit frustrated with you. Your stubbornness has always been there, and she admires your refusal to quit. In this case, though, she just wishes you would let her help. “Cariño, passing out like that isn’t something normal or fine. Please, tell me what’s happening.”

When Alexia leans down to try to look at your face, she can see the tears forming in your eyes. You glance up slightly, and when you are met with one of the kindest and most caring looks you have ever received in your life, the dam breaks. “I can’t take it anymore! It never ends. It’s always something. One day it’s my footwork, the next it's my shooting. There’s always something to pick apart. And when I’ve finally satisfied him with my football, it’s ‘your grades are dropping’ or ‘your not focusing on school enough’. There's no end to it. I can’t ever stop, and it’s. just. too. much!” You punctuate your last couple words by smacking the medical bed underneath you. 

Your teammates sit in stunned silence for a second, watching as hot tears stream down your face. Finally, Alexia springs forward and pulls you into her arms. Everyone else follows suit, and you finally let yourself let out your anger and frustration in the arms of the people you trust. As you cry, Alexia murmurs into your hair, “It’s okay, cariño. Let it all out. It’s okay. You can rest now. It’s always okay to take a break. Needing to take a break just means that you're human.”

Even when you finally tire yourself out and drift asleep, Alexia holds you tightly. Subconsciously, you burrow further into her arms, the stress crease between your eyebrows that has become a permanent fixture on your face finally relaxing. As she watches you, the captain knows what she needs to do. “I’m getting you out of that house. You’re going to come live with me, and we are going to figure this out. Together.”

---

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[lokh]

what do you think toshiro's version of laios would've been like if he was still with the group during the shapeshifter shenanigans

there have been a few speculations in the tag and among the fans and they are all very good SO i am going to take this opportunity to insert a bit of my shipping bias as i like in my interpretation LMAO agdsfgdfgv

i noted that in actuality shuro seems to have a very good grasp on laios' character??? this is most obvious in the manga later on but even seeing how he criticises laios in their fight... iirc nothing he says is actually untrue or wildly exaggerated, and while he does express frustration over something he feels like laios Should have control over (noticing his cues), he is also aware that laios isnt being malicious and that hes Just Like That. what i mean to say is that while i think his version of laios may seem more pushy and in-your-face, i dont think it will be overwhelmingly so. if its post-fight, i think the idea of laios (and marcille) being willing to do anything to get falin back made a big impression on him, as well as the idea that they need to eat and rest in order to succeed in their goals, so those aspects would be prominent in his version. he seems pretty observant, so i think for the most part the physical traits would line up, but i think there would be specific things that stand out to him that would appear strangely striking on his version of laios (like. idk something about his eye colour or the subtle contrast of his armour and chainmail. he seems to have a weird sense of aesthetics if extras are anything to go by lmao). if hed actually been paying attention all those times laios had gone on about what the hell ever, then it might be even MORE hard to tell apart his version since he would also have a good grasp on what laios should know. so either his version of laios is pretty difficult to pick out, OR despite the character being accurate his appearance is too. stylised lmao (exaggerated features or something) OR!! they just get him to pull out his monster gourmet guide thing and are able to tell from there. iirc everyone was surprised at its appearance so its possible toshiro had also never seen it before

IN MY IMAGINARY SHIPPING SCENARIO............ lets say that his laios isnt able to be picked out immediately and that the monster guide thing also doesnt immediately occur to anyone. what the real laios Specifically notices is how close this other laios keeps getting to shuro. and hes like. ??? why is he getting so close to him, theres no way i get that close to him??? but no one else seems to be picking up on it as weird, so hes having a small crisis like do i REALLY get that close to him???? and now that hes on the outside he notices shuro subtly leaning away and he feels both a wave of shame and..... protectiveness??? (JEALOUSY??????) and he immediately steps in and grabs him like Hey!!! cant you see hes uncomfortable???? weve been through this already!!! and like. ok i cant believe im doing this again but i need to separate this into different endings

a) the whump route: i dont think shuro ever envisioned Actually Telling laios about his frustrations outside of being basically cornered into it. has he ever spoken up against what was expected of him?? has he ever been confrontational???? i think part of what held him back from expressing his frustrations, along with the cultural norms, could be fear of what the reaction would be. if he had done the same in any other aspect of his life (his family, his inheritance), i think he would expect disappointment, disapproval, more proof that he doesnt add up to expectation. to be honest i dont think he Truly believes that laios is the type of person to react like this. but it was strong enough to prevent him from acting and i think would be projected onto his image of laios. maybe fake!laios says something dismissive like Well if it really bothered him hed say something right? what, he cant even stand up for himself? cmon, shuro, prove that you cant handle it just like everything else. and thats pretty much the fastest giveaway that it isnt really laios. of course this would be a HUGE tonal departure from what the actual episode/chapter was, so:

b) the dumbass route: both laioses break into fisticuffs, and, yes.... barking. and so they speedrun the entire encounter as the shapeshifters true form appears and, after laios points out that thinking too hard about others versions of you can tear apart groups and peace of mind, they pointedly do not speak of it again. they think about it though. a LOT

c) the normal route: both laioses argue normal like and the group ends up being able to tell them apart because the fake laios goes on a little too long about how theyre all here for falin and everyones like ok its not like he DOESNT love his sister but.......... the rest of the scenario probably goes like canon, though then i would want to see what everyone Else thought of shuro

[slavonicrhapsody]

ok I think I’ve played enough of the dlc where I feel like I can talk about it now and lift my spoilers embargo… overall I had SO much fun!! there’s so much to love about it and only a few things I didn’t like! more detailed thoughts under the cut:

Gameplay-wise, I thought almost every single boss was fun and rewarding to fight… my faves were Divine Beast Dancing Lion (best ost in the entire game by miles), Rellana, and Messmer. I also really loved the exploration?? My favorite kind of games are the ones where you have to sniff out every corner of the map in order to find hidden paths forward… the fact that you have to really poke around to find huge areas of the map, and how the traversal is so layered and non-linear, was THRILLING to me!! so much more interesting than the base game!!

Story-wise, what spoke to me the most was everything about the Hornsent… Belurat was my first legacy dungeon, and I was so wowed by the gorgeous unique architecture and the sheer desolation of the place that it really stayed with me. Both the environment and the Hornsent NPCs do such a great job of conveying the pain and tragedy of what happened to them, while at the same time, not simplifying them into some kind of faultless utopia… their society was proud and harsh and cruel (not just to others, but to their own people), but it was also bursting with art and culture, and it was home to everyday people who made delicious stew for their loved ones:

“Scorpion simmered in a black soup. Traditional meal of the hornsent. Once made with love by a certain elderly woman for the family table. Having long gone cold, this soup gives off a rank, sour smell.”

Some of my very favorite NPCS were the Hornsent Grandam and Hornsent (the guy); I thought their quests told such poignant stories about loss and the meaning of justice and revenge (I especially think Hornsent’s quest complements Marika’s story so well!!). The way they portrayed this civilization’s downfall was so beautiful and tragic!

Also the fact that the NPCs talk during combat is SO GOOD??? At first I was kind of annoyed that I had to summon Hornsent for Messmer’s boss fight to do his quest, but in the end I was so glad I did because his dialogue during and after the fight is incredible!! plus the NPCs talking to EACH OTHER during the Leda invasions?? and need I mention IGON… this is the real best new addition they made to the game

Now for the one big fat thing I didn’t like….

so I had actually heard about the leaks before playing the game and was like ok. if this is true theyre gonna have to really justify this to me because my initial impression is uhhh. lol??? And now that I can confidently say that I’ve combed the game top to bottom for pieces of this story, I really dont think the game succeeds at justifying Radahn’s appearance?

What I mean by “justify” is that, in my opinion, if you’re gonna bring back a fan-favorite character who was previously dead, and not have it come off as cheap fanservice, it needs to feel like this character’s presence matters — that they have the necessary buildup, that their appearance has a significant weight to it, and that their screentime fleshes them out as a person in a meaningful way. I don’t think the dlc achieves this at all with Radahn. Yes, his appearance is directly foreshadowed if you do Freyja and Ansbach’s quests, but it isn’t enough to just state in advance that he’ll show up… my problem is that, even with these NPCs’ dialogue, Radahn feels like a total non-person. We hear almost nothing about what his thoughts or feelings about this situation might’ve been (just Freyja’s assertion that he would have approved of “endless war, to invigorate the soul”). We get plenty of insight into Miquella’s character because there’s so much material about him, but there just isn’t the same investment into Radahn’s character, which makes his triumphant return fall really flat for me.

I think for me what would’ve appropriately justified Radahn returning is if Freyja gave us more details about who Radahn was as a commander during the Shattering… like, some jumping-off point to really get a sense of what his motivations might’ve been… OR, they could’ve even added another Redmane NPC with views on Radahn that conflict with Freyja’s (there is literally a minor boss, the Red Bear, who was stated to have been a Redmane!!!)… what’s still a mystery is why Malenia tried to kill Radahn, and why he resisted, and the DLC doesn’t give us any concrete information about Radahn’s actions or goals during the Shattering that would have caused this. They don’t have to spell it out for us!! I just needed SOME attempt to engage with Radahn’s character in the DLC material if they’re literally gonna bring him back from the dead!! Because as it stands, he shows up and fights us without a word or even an expression, like a glorified action figure!!! it’s LAME!!!!!

totally loved the DLC except for that part. anyway stan Elder Inquisitor Jori

[dealingdreams]

Qimir's motivations might be a little uncertain. Like all we really know for sure is what he's told us. He wants freedom, freedom to be allowed to practice his power as he sees fit, he wants an acolyte, and he wants the power of two. That said, here just my thoughts.

I think when Mae was asking Qimir about his master aka him, he was actually answering her with some truths about his actual master Plagueis. "He collects people...i owe him" etc...best lies have some truths. Which i have concerns cause we know Palps ends up being Plagie's apprentice and later murderer. Plags did go thru some folks before he found the perfect fit for his world domination plan.

Qimir just doesn't really strike me as someone who is power hungry tbh. i know we techically dont know him well enough yet...but i mean the dude really only attacks when he's threatend. he seems more wounded animal than sith mastermind. so why the power of two...why an acolyte? i think his speech about an acolyte killing the dream...is in relation to how the Jedi at this point in time are the authority on teaching younglings how the force works. they say how and if that power can be used, even going so far as to say that without their teachings, your connection to the force weakens. so having someone showing force capabilites without being a Jedi is kinda a slap in the face to that teaching. Especially if that person can kill a Jedi without the use of a weapon. Like damn..the Jedi aren't that powerful after all yaknow. I think it's just a big fuck you to the Jedi tbh.

He's just wants to be a hot philosophy professor guys

As for the power of two, that is basically the Sith end all be all. He's not a Sith Lord yet...he hasn't taken/been given a name. I really think the only reason he would want the power of two is for his safetly...again he reads as wounded and lost to me...not power hungry. A lot of his choices seem to be made with whatever happened with Vernestra in mind. His shoto blade, which is similar to a saber Luke had in the comics(?) i think...was built to block lightsaber whips. His helmet blocks a Jedi's ability to read his mind or sense him fully. Add in the genuine fear on his face when he sensed Vern...something happened there and it left him so wrecked it's still effecting him all these years later.

Now here is where i think he's fucked.

I do think that he cared about Mae. In fact i think he wanted Mae to succeed and had she not betrayed him I do think he would have continued to train with her. I do also think that he was interested in Osha from the jump, but i dont think at any point he would have tossed Mae to the side for Osha. I think this for the same reason I dont think Qimir was trying to replace Mae with Osha. I think he sees the twins as very different people and has a very different dynamic with them. I think he seized the opportunity with maybe pulling Osha to his side...weither he would have done that had Mae remained his pupil who knows.

Qimir and Mae's dynamic is basically In-Laws lol.

I joke but no i think there was a distance between Qimir and Mae. There was a power imbalance between them. Simply master and pupil. Why he never showed her his face we could only guess. Personally I think it was a combination of him not trusting Mae fully and in case she got caught and a Jedi like Sol or Vernestra went into her Mind. He was simply protecting himself once again. Still he created the persona of Qimir to be a companion to Mae. He still taught her, still assisted her, but did it in an unitimitating way. So yeah I think he cares about Mae. Also just fyi, no I don't think he would have killed her when he found her and Osha at the tree in the aftermath of Sol's death.

So back tho to how he's fucked...Osha...hopefully literally fucked by Osha in the future but also like...he's fucked lol. He never had the choice with showing Osha his face, but he did have a choice on how vulnerable he was with her. We know from literally everyone confirming it that he wasn't manipulating her. He felt a connection to her, felt like she would understand him and he could understand her. That they were the same. I dont for one second see a power imbalance playing out between them. I think many of his actions prove that he views her as his equal. So thats one of the many ways he's fucked. the rule of two doesnt like that very much so i think Plagie might have some issues with that.

I think i could see them like playing master and pupil cause it's safer that way...but honestly they are fucked truly.

anyways ending the rant kinda abruptly lol :P

[ravengards-rogue]

[ cage training | astarion ancunin ]

✧ tags : muzzles, bdsm, sub!astarion, gender neutral + dom!reader, reader is strong (offers to carry him), dirty talk, orgasm control, feeding (?), cutting (for blood), anal (m!recieving), service dom reader, petnames (my star for astarion) a lot of alluding to hunger, more erotica than smut but 18+

✧ wc : 4.8k (what if all just kill ourselves)

✧ a/n : i dont even like this guy like this im just mentally ill about submissive men. also this is a very "read whats on the tin and make good choices" sort of fic.. i know this kind of play might be controversial for beloved white boy but they have a very loving dynamic Okay. Alright. its about Love.

ALSO. this is ASTARION FOCUSED. so reader doesn't cum (though astarion makes up for it as implied)

this is a fluke fic i cannot recommend following me for this guy!!!written mostly for a friend. had a lot of fun with this though!!!

✧ synopsis : astarion relearns manners and discipline. he's rewarded for his valiant efforts.

He comes to you wounded. Save from the scar on the curve of his spine, it's not a physical wound.

Astarion approached you like a caged lion, a circus animal - a predator paraded like a house cat who has only just remembered his teeth. That's why your empathy extended to his greed even when it caused him to wear the worst of himself. You don't think Astarion has ever understood the fact that he's hungry. He's always hungry.

He inhabits a body pushed to failure. His hunger cues are almost as ruined as he.

Like an animal in captivity, every choice he might've had to make slipped between his fingers for many years. How to live, how to hunt. Hunger is the hardest to remember, though it leaves the longest impression. It's a condition of a wounded mind. He had long since forgotten a body that knows a need stronger than staying alive.

He always waited for the violent gnawing to set in, the kind that can be ignored until it can't.

And so, his hunger became his ruin, became his new captor. Astarion met you in the midst of that delirium the first time

Once you let a captive predator free, you've damned it. A caged lion cannot become uncaged. Survival instinct has all but degraded to nothing, leaving only a wounded animal in its place.

You must nurse it to health. Care for it as it renavigates the world.

Curb its hunger when it threatens to wreak havoc.

Sanctuary. Regiment. Retraining.

It's easy enough to discern what he needs. All tender with wounds that need to be licked.

The muzzle is fitted. A gesture of glimmering gold adoration among the steely black of whips and chains.

Astarion is beautiful. Tenfold on his knees.

The leather straps pull back slight against his skin, three in total clipped together at the back of his skull. The thickest strap flattens sweet white curls, thinner ones curved around his ears and jaw.

The structured leather cage, reinforced with metal, rests over his nose and mouth. It fits better than you could've hoped. There's a collar around his neck to match it, with a weighted chain in your hand. He's looking up at you with a softened gaze, ruby red and lidded. Needy.

The velvet of the loveseat dips comfortably under your weight as you sit. Astarion stays where he is. He's as pleasant as he's capable of being, hopeful as he scoots in closer to you.

He succeeds in acting cute, naturally talented in the art of being appealing. He scoots himself close to your legs and positions himself to rest his chin on the edge of your knee.

You meet his eyes amused. You let your hand brush along the pointed shell of his ear. Little goosebumps form in the wake of your touch.

"You should know better by now that those sorts of tricks don't work on me, hm?"

He huffs. "Well that's not true. They usually do work on you. Rather well, I would say."

You pause, taken aback, before relenting with a laugh His pout endears you. You let your eyes narrow a bit in knowing.

"Not like this though. You know that very well."

His frown deepens. You really do adore him. He taps his forehead against your leg as you bite back a smile, his muzzle making the touch briefer than he'd prefer.

"Gods. Of course I know but this, this is torture, darling."

Pleasant and noncommittal, your hand cups his nape. You pet him wherever you can reach, his head before slipping along his shoulder and against your lap. You settle at his back, tracing over raised scars.

A sorrowful hum leaves your lips. Neither of you believe it.

"Torture? Perhaps I've gotten too soft if this is torture."

"Oh you're so awful," He huffs, biting his tongue and choosing to rest against your leg in frustration for a while longer. "Sure, fine - torture is too perfunctory. But it's been terribly difficult! Where is your sympathy."

"What's difficult, Astarion?"

You're being cheeky asking him. After all your rules have been clear and reinforced well for the two tendays that have passed. You've been working hard on reteaching him patience. He used to be so patient, back when you were exploring and unsettled but you've let him take too much and now he'll interrupt you at any moment just to get what he needs.

(Astarion leans on you for guidance. Of course, he has himself - has his freedom that he took with bloodied hands and a broken heart. There’s many choices that he’s able to make for himself, some of them he can’t explain even to you. Whatever they are, they’re his to make and yours to support. 

It’s different though. Not having a choice, and someone making choices for him out of something inscrutable. You don’t bed Astarion until you fulfill the promise of killing his master. More accurately, you don’t lay so much as a hand on him. Only intimate, sparse touches. Only love. Only patience.

You’re disinterested in only having his body. His heart, and his mind, and his very soul - all of it. You want to grasp them so firmly and never let go. The chains and leashing and discipline are testament to what you want most of Astarion - and that’s all of him. You want to enrich him in every conceivable way.  Astarion deserves the granular finery of thoughtful guidance more than anyone. He's brighter when he feels special, after all. 

You’ve broken down the walls between you with a closed fist for this purpose - a not so quiet ask to love him by opening your hand. He’s given you the honor to let you think and act for him so he doesn’t have too. Duty binds you to reteaching him virtue.

It's a privilege to think for him. To wipe his bloodied mouth and care for his appearance prim and his mind sharp. No longer a matted beast but a loved, loved little vampire in the crook of your arms 

You’re not strict to no end. You'd rip the Astral Planes apart in search of what he desires, should he ask it of you, after all. 

Only the best for your immortal love. )

His neediness makes him more misbehaving. He’s been scaring away anyone who looks at you too long for business and otherwise, unable to keep his hand away from between your legs or his head in your lap. 

"Not letting me drink your blood for two tendays is unreasonable enough but on top of that," He's exasperated just explaining the dilemma to you. His muzzle is cool against your pant leg. "On top of that I'm not even allowed any relief. Despite all of your cruelty, you wicked thing. I never took you for such a sadist."

He scoffs. There's poorly masked lust in the last sentence. You stop yourself from smiling.

"Sadist? Really? I don't see it that way. Seeing you act so desperately all this time and keeping my hands neat at my sides... I'm a paragon of patience." You pull on the leash in your hand but don't pull him forward - though you tighten your grip. "It's…good to lead by example."

Excitement flashes over his face in a short burst. It's so brilliant you swear his eyes look white instead of red.

"You cheeky little—" He huffs at you. You smile warmly as he starts to curl in on himself. He already knows how to get himself what he wants. 

He gives up on pretenses. Briefly, just to beg, a monumentally hard thing. "Please. I can't take a minute more of this."

There's a croak to his voice. He has a hard time covering its tracks, even with his propensity for theatrics.

His throat is so thick with want. Something ripping at the seams of him and begging to be released.

"You've done well if it helps, but" You praise. He preens. Instantly. He squirms and wiggles around but doesn't move much more than that. "You act like I don't feed you."

"It is not the same, my love. You're well aware."

You ignore him.

"I even bring you human blood, don't I?" You tease, and his frustration darkens him. "I brought a beautiful and fresh body to drain just yesterday."

"Yes but," His hands turn to tight fists. He isn't sure what he wants to do with himself. You pet him a little more. "It's not the same, damn it. I want yours. Just yours. Just you,"

He adds the last bit quieter than the rest. Your expression is unchanged and cool though your heart might give you away with how hard it pounds.

"Just mine?" You tease. tugging at this leash a little. He makes a face like he's infuriated, a poor mask for embarrassment that endears you even more."Is that flattery?"

You're being a little mean this time. You'll make it up to him. He almost panics before he realizes just that.

"Gods you're insufferable," He complains with no bite. He's hoping for mercy you truly have no desire to give him. "You know that it's not."

"You speak so beautifully it sounds like it. Such sweet little noises you can make."

You let the heel of your boot press along Astarion's crotch. He makes one for you, involuntary - skin pink and sinful.

"See? How pretty."

Astarion is easy to bring to ruin as is. His own snark and disobedience is a poor disguise for that truth. A little tenderness and honesty makes him fall apart. Flirting back with Astarion goads him, though. Fuels his desire to win one over you. If you meet his cheekiness with more cheekiness, he won't relent at all.

Normally that kind of response would make him nip at you. It speaks to his desperation that it doesn't. That instead of making his own snarky remark, he tenses. A deep, shaky little breath. You could tip him over the edge through his clothes at this rate.

You're not so cruel. Not for today, at least.

"Sit up straight."

He does so without protest. You place a hand on his shoulder, the other one tight around the chain of his leash. Carefully, you drag your sharp nails down the front of his chest - leaving light pinkish marks on the pale skin. Over and over and over in light drags. His chest raises under the gesture, your nails scratching soft against his nipples.

"Hng," His voice is feather light. He's trembling at the slightest touch. His spine arches like he's trying to get more friction. "Don't you think you've proven your point?"

You let your palm drag down the smooth plane of his stomach, stopping at his pants. His cock twitches hard against the seam of his pants. You let a finger pull into the waistband, but don't go any farther.

"Not sure," You let the leash drop into your lap. You threaten to pull them down, but don't. Expression blank, you tilt your head to one side. "Have you learned your lesson?"

"My lesson," He repeats sarcastically. You feign innocence as you nod. "Really, darling?"

"I'm not so much of a tyrant," You let go, letting your hand cup the outline of his hard cock. "To torture you without reason, right? So what have we practiced?"

He stares. It must really be getting to him. "Patience."

"Yes. I ask you to be patient. Never kind, but patient. Because I'll give you anything you ask for if you wait. Things are better when you wait for them, right?"

He frowns in annoyance and disbelief. He's exasperated, rightfully - because you are messing with him. Just a little. "Right."

You squeeze his cock tighter. He hisses immediately, grinding into the touch. You blow hot air against his ticklish skin, leaning in to whisper in his ear.

"So, have you learned your lesson?"

Your grip goes tight. Astarion craves the touch so badly. You doubt he's ever gone so long without anything at all - if the desperation he's rutting his hips with is anything to go by. His head drops heavy from his shoulders, his hands on the edge of the couch gripping for his life. Manicured nails digging into the cushion like it will save him. His voice is weary.

"Y-," He shudders but you don't let go. "Yes, I'm very sure I have."

"Oh, you're sure."

You enjoy bullying him. At a certain point, it bares itself out against all your own evading. Astarion knows it well enough, though normally it's through less truly intolerable means. Keeping him inside you soft or scraping orgasms one after another until he's too stupid too talk are favored between you.

Astarion likes being given a hard time, in general though. You're made for each other.

"Pretty little thing aren't you, my love?" You tell him, suddenly warmed. You miss the tadpole sometimes. If you could touch his mind right now, you would. Violate his thoughts with your own wants. You settle for a long stare. "So sweet,"

The anticipation makes his breath hitch. He goes completely limp in your grasp, weak and desperate. The weight of it all cracks and he looks up. His eyes glass over.

He shatters under his own need. "For the love of—please. I c-cant, I need to-"

"Shh." You quell him with a tender pet to his head. "You're looking at me so pitifully. Is it starting to be too much?"

He just nods. Your smile widens.

"You've been very patient for these two tendays, haven't you?" You lay it on thick. This is the part you like. You watch as Astarion goes boneless, the words reaching so deep into him he can do little more than collapse himself into your lap. You release all grips of him and let him hold against you soothingly, cling to your legs. "A very, very good boy for all this time. You're quite capable of it when you need to be, aren't you?"

He doesn't reply, but you can feel him melt into you further. For a minute you think you've broken him until you hear him mutter the softest yes you've ever heard.

(Astarion is not so easy to break, of course. And not so keen on opening up the softened wells of his heart to any stranger.

But he does break for you, and gods haven't you worked hard for that? It's a testament to all you've poured into him. Like you know all the right buttons to split him open tenderly.

And he lets you look. Touch and feel and cover your fingers with blood. He trusts you to stitch him closed.)

"Yes, that's right. You've learned your lesson now, and you're going to be proper and well-behaved because that's what good boys do. And Astarion is a very good boy. My very, very good boy."

He picks his head to look at you properly. He's darling. His face is flush, mouth turned into a soft pout and utterly, utterly desperate. His mouth is bitten, indented holes in soft lips.

"Yes, I'm. Please. I want you to touch me."

You aren't sure what you want to start with. He's being needy and you could almost feel guilty.

You pick up something from your side. A dagger from your days of travel. You unsheath it quickly, and let the blade cut along the tip of your middle finger. The blood comes quickly after, ruby red and thick. 

Astarion goes wide eyed. He’s hungry, so hungry - like he always is. But there’s something defeated in the ways he hesitates that make you relish. You push your finger through the cage of his muzzle and tilt your head. There’s mirth in your eyes.

“Go on,” You say, tease, mock maybe. “Eat.” 

He abandons restraint. All of it. You don’t make him work more for it. You push your finger down close enough for his mouth to lick at your wound and let your hand rest on the cage. He can’t get what he’s craving like this. The bone deep sensation starts to claw at him, a soft whimper tucked in the back of his throat.  

More. He wants more. Of course he wants more. 

“You look drunk.” You say, and there’s sharpness to your words. The ways in which Astarion is erotic have nothing to do with his theatrics. He is appealing when he’s giving up on everything but what he wants, always has been. “Have you missed it that much?” 

“Yes.” He supplements, letting his tongue run over “More.” 

You pull your hand away. “Take your clothes off.” 

You watch Astarion scramble to stand. You bring your dagger with you then reach over to the table beside you. Scented oils roll around in the drawer. You’re careful with the blade as you fish out a bottle of it, taking it in your hands. Astarion stands naked, the heavy chain of his leash brushing against his skin. 

“Kneel and lean on the couch, my love.” 

Astarion is the picture of obedience. He leans on his elbows on the couch seats, with his legs spread apart, leash in a pool next to him as he folds his arms and tucks his face. You stand on your knees behind him, admiring his back in the lowlights. 

Your hands rest on his thighs as you kiss up his spine. Small, short kisses all the way until you’ve reached the back of his neck. Your lips brush his nape, nose nudging against the metal of his muzzle. 

Something overwhelms you. Addicting, euphoric as your clothed body drapes around Astarion, free hand on his waist - moving up his stomach to toy with his nipples. It thrums through you, listening to the ragged anticipation and distraught way he moves. Against you, against everything. Aching for touch. 

You feel it overwhelmingly as you close in on his ear. Astarion huffs, long panting breaths. He needs this.

“Look at how naturally you yield to me now,” You all be coo. Astarion groans. Shuddering, your hand slides around his narrow waist and wraps a fist around his cock. He gasps. “You’ve become so pliable, so needy. But you know my star, I quite like when you’re needy.”

He hiccups and shivers and whines. “You’re the prettiest when you behave like the sweet little thing you can be, like I know you are. When you listen and yield and let me adore you in all the right ways. Such a sweet boy you can be, if only you let yourself.” 

“Darling,” His voice cracks. There’s a helpless quality to it. A little more, that’s all you need. “I — you —” 

You pull back and straighten your voice out, taking off Astarions muzzle after the valiant efforts he’s been making to wear it. It falls onto the couch unceremoniously. 

“I’m saying, well done Astarion. I’ll reward you for all that effort. I’ll slash another scar in my hand for you to drink from and then again in the evening when I’ve recovered,” You lean back on your legs as you make promises on your own words. “I’ll bleed for you until you’ve sated yourself and let you get drunk on it. Then, when you’re malleable, I’ll fuck you. Again and again and again until you’ve all but forgotten yourself. All but forgotten who exactly you behave for.” 

You open the oil and let it drip onto his back, watching mesmerized as it slips against every curve and crevice. When there’s enough to make opening him up easy, you stop and reach for your dagger.

The weapon  slashes over the same wound. You’ve done this tens of times now. You don’t let the scars heal with a potion or some kind of spell. Astarion is far from the comfort of romance, but it is its own promise. Your scar is his.

 The pain is brief, but it’s enough to feel it. You don’t flinch, though. When the blood finally seeps from it, you find yourself over Astarions back once again. 

You let your bleeding palms clamp over his mouth. It’s as close to sacred as you can forge between you. Astarion moans. It is shameless. Pitchy, high with want and utterly broken. He laps at the blood like a dog, his tongue sharp against the familiar wound. You can feel his body twitch beneath you, the muffled sounds of his voice.

There is no performance in that kind of pleasure, but the amount of arousal that spikes Astarion’s whole body never fails to surprise you. 

When he’s feeding from you, you busy your other hand with fucking him open on your fingers. Your dominant hand slips down the smooth curve of his spine, oiled skin soft and cool under your palms. He’s built like a dancer, beautiful curves. He’s a little softer now that he eats well. It looks good on him. 

You let your middle finger brush over his hole, relishing in the soft gasp he lets out as you do. Astarion’s aroused enough to accommodate you as you circle it. The tight ring of muscle is familiar, and welcoming to your touch. You don’t need to teach Astarion to breathe, don’t need to remind him of it. You can feel his whole body push along your hands as if urging you towards him. You’re too delicate about the matter for his time. 

Astarion is warmer inside than he is out. It fascinates you, makes your own stomach churn with want as your middle finger curves slowly. You pump in short motions until the resistance is all but gone. When you’ve made it as far as the knuckle of your middle finger, you start to search. You curl and press yourself against soft insides, search and search for what you’re looking for. 

Astarion lurches forward when you find it. The most pitiful little moan you’ve ever heard squeaks out from his lips, against your hand.

“That’s it, isn’t it? Right there?” 

Astarion makes noncommittal noises as you repeat the process again. Another finger, your ringer - spreading him open. Tight hole giving into your touch, filling him. Your mouth kisses the skin that you can reach. You peck and bite along the curve of his shoulders and all over his back as your ring finger penetrates him. His insides soften as you find your pace. 

You see his hands start to fidget, but you chide him before he can do it. 

“Not yet. You can touch yourself when I tell you too. Not before.” 

 Astarion needs more than this. You’ll give it to him, but patience is the virtue here. 

You don’t know how long that’s going to stick though. The way Astarion is shaking underneath doesn’t give you confidence he’s going to hold out long enough for you to take him apart like you want. You’ll give him something proper later, when he’s not so pent you think the slight brush of skin could make him cum. 

You do, desperately, want to see Astarion cum. But it has to be done the right way, or everything would go to waste in a single moment. You fuck him open on your fingers with a pinpoint pressure and accuracy, gauging his every move with the little gestures of his body. You know perfectly, know every inch of him inside and out like a book you’ve read page to page with the corners turned. The way he sways, lays intimately on the edge of cumming but never quite pushing himself over the finish line, speaks to that.

That, and the way he licks the blood from your palm like it’s the only thing he’s ever wanted in his life. You can feel it, how messy it is - lapping at the split wound. Sharp unruly teeth digging into your skin, the soft breath of his nose tickling your hand as you cup his mouth. He licks so fervently, like it’s mouthwatering enough to die for. 

It doesn’t help the arousal between your legs. It’d be damning for him to know how affected you are by this. By him. 

“My beautiful boy,” Your voice is thick with desire. You can’t help yourself, the low possession laced it in. “Fucking perfect,” 

“My love,” The words muffle against your palm. You move your hand away to let him speak and his face moves instinctually to bury himself back in it. “P-please. Let me touch myself, it aches,” 

You weigh it for a minute, watching his body lurch forward as you fingerfuck him. You make a noise in the back of your throat, dropping your forehead against his spine - adrenaline making sweat drip down the crown of your head. 

“Poor thing. Aches does it? Touch yourself for me, Astarion. I want to see you make a mess.” 

He groans, hands moving immediately to fist his cock. You can hear it, the sound of him fucking his own fist like a wet, welcoming hole - cock wet and dripping with prespend. Astarions whole body starts to fall limp. His face pushed into the seat, little wet sobs spilling from his lips as he swears over and over. 

It doesn’t take any time for his body to give into the feeling of being pleasured from all angles. You feel his face nudge against your hand for blood as his muscles start to go tighter and tighter. 

“Shit,” He huffs, pushing himself back into your hands. “I’m going to cum.” 

You keep your other hand in place, pace steady. 

“Cum for me, baby. That’s it, easy does it.”

It happens so quickly you’re not sure if you should be impressed or if you should laugh affectionately. You can feel it, the way his hips stutter to a stop, his whole body grinding against you and holding tight to whatever he can cling to for purchase. His body weakens under the weight of your own, going completely tight like a bowstring before falling utterly helpless. Astarion moans loud when he cums, thick white ropes of it dressing the upholstery of the couch and falling to the floor. It’s an impressive amount. Save for what lands on the velvet, it pools thick and heavy. There’s so much, it’s like he can’t stop cumming. At least a minute passes before the twitching ceases. 

He lays there, ragged and weightless and limp. You take your hand away from his mouth and slowly ease yourself out of him as he stays and catches his breath. You press soft, warm pecks up his spine. 

You move away from him to give him some space to breathe, sitting back criss-cross on the ground. Astarion has no intention of getting up on his own, though. Before you can make sense of it, he crawls over to you. He must be worn out, given how willingly he’s coming into your arms in pure exhaustion. His cock is spent, soft against his belly and pink. He’s still naked and leashed. 

Still needy, but the lust has subsided if only a little. Astarion seats himself between your open legs. You laugh lightly, letting him rest in your side - face in the crook of your neck in utter exhaustion. 

“Hero of Baldurs Gate this, savior of the city that. I know evil when I see it, darling. Just outright cruel.” 

You break out into a laugh at the change in behavior as he pulls away to look at you. His eyes are remarkably watery. 

“That claim is undermined by that mess you’ve made on the floor there. Did you enjoy yourself?” 

He almost looks embarrassed by it, a pinkish tint turning the tips of his ears bright. 

“You’ve given me two terrible choices. I say yes and you think it’s a clever idea to do it again or I say no and I never experience whatever that was again in my life. A lose-lose situation.” 

“So you did enjoy it,” You say warmly. Astarion scoffs but doesn’t protest. “I’m glad. You’re very attractive when you’re pitiful.” 

“What despicable taste. I’m beautiful irregardless.” 

You let your head bump against his, and Astarion half-heartedly returns the gesture. “That’s true. A sight for sore eyes as they say.” 

“If you’re true to your word then I’ve earned a little more than just one,” Astarion purrs. Before that, he examines your (still bleeding hand) and picks your palm up to kiss. You grin wildy at his tongue lapping over the wound. “And you’re properly pent up, aren’t you? Let's get this cleaned up and let the real fun begin.” 

“Aren’t you insatiable today? As you wish, my prince. We can move upstairs.” 

He bemoans this. “You’ll have to drag my undead body up there if you’re asking me to get on my own two feet.” 

“Or I could carry you like a bride.” 

“A bride? How ostentatious. I’ll allow it.” Astarion says, then adds more quietly. “But we can stay… here a little longer first.” 

You hum against his skin, peppering his face with soft kisses; he doesn't turn you away from the skinship, which you’re pleased by.  “Of course my love,” 

He lays in your arms quietly and the thought reaffirms itself. You’d do anything for him.

✧ a/n : no one is more upset by the length of this than me. trust and believe this. also sorry for the yapping i just... posting this is so foreboding. it feels like that picture of spongebob who puts his hands up so a car doesn't fall on him. i am Afraid.

maybe ill write a part two of him eating box or something. we'll see. anyway thanks for reading </3. please do rb if you enjoyed. so scared to be in the tags for this.

[pixlpxie]

question... who in ateez do you think from least to most would survive no nut november? explanations needed too if you can >:)) <3

In my opinion almost all of them would survive it but heres a possible ranking

Least

Mingi - He wouldn't survive but he'd give it a go

Yeosang - Dont trust the pretty cute boy, I'm sure he has a high libido that he can't really go against

Seonghwa - Another cute yet horny man just bc he plays with lego doesn't mean hes chill

Jongho - If you were to dare him, he would do it. But be wouldn't give a shit so if he wants to nut he will nut nobody can stop him

Yunho - So, as always, this man confuses me because I'm sure he's horny af but he's also quite composed and determined (i had to swap him with jongho bc of this). Meaning if he were to do this challenge he would succeed, considering that he's used to the religious customs he'd do well BUT I also think his high libido would prevent him from doing that so I'm not sure

San - He gives off the vibe that he doesn't even jerk off (despite his leo placements yes) so imo he'd have one night stands instead of jerking off but i mean if we are involving sex in this then he can be placed a bit higher, i can't really explain its just the vibes 💕💕

Wooyoung - Yall don't give enough credit for this man's strict and composed nature. Remember the most goofy ones will always be the most determined and serious ones so I'm sure he'd easily survive this challenge no matter how horny he gets

Hongjoong - His self control seems amazing imo no matter how horny he is he will easily stop himself from doing anything

Most