#double incision

[transmascissues]

just had my 3 week post-op and i’m officially done with the bandages! i’m so glad i can really enjoy my chest now and not have it covered up 99% of the time. i still can’t believe how good it already looks, shoutout to my surgeon for doing a fucking incredible job.

[disabledandsogay]

Almost 48hrs post op! Got a nipple sparing double incision with Dr. Armstrong in ON. Not feeling too bad all things considered, definitely more comfy during my binder breaks though

[transqu33r]

Speepy

[noahmars]

FTM top surgery

Hello tumblr community!

I was wondering if anyone would be sweet enough to even take a look at my gofundme for surgery costs for my FTM top surgery.

Even a small contribution will be greatly appreciated :) There is no pressure to do so, though. At all.

I shared my story on gofundme a little but I'll say a little bit here if you don't want to press ahy links :)

Surgery costs in uk are expensive and as an 18 year old paying bills and rent, i cannot afford this at all so I've had to let all parties know that my surgery cannot commence untill i get money saved.

My family was massively transphobic, which is why i had chosen to leave home, totally unprepared for the cost of living, i have had all the referalls but can't get surgery untill i get momey which is where you amazing people would be able to help, if you wanted to :)

(it has my dead name as it was on my id, please do not call me by that or the deadname nickname which is "chris", my name is Noah :))

[nicejewishsoyboy]

Pretending I can afford this shirt

[ixiblitz]

Hello!! If you, or someone you know, had top surgery with over a F cup could you send me reference pictures please?? I have a G cup and I’m a bit on the chubbier side and I cannot for the life of me find any reference or before and after pictures of my body type. I need these by my appointment on Friday so it would be epic if you could help!! Tyyyyyyy

(Lots of tags for a better reach)

[vividrogue]

Life Updates~

Unrelated to most things here but I have news: I just came back from my first consultation for top surgery!

I'll probably need a double incision, which I figured anyway, but I'm glad to find out that my scars can be separate! The surgeon was very clear on setting up expectations for results and what I'm looking to tailor to my own body. I'm aiming for a very masculine cut/presentation and as flat as realistically possible with little visible scar tissue; I agree that scars are beautiful and show a person's journey, however, I know that I want little visibility for myself personally.

One thing that I wasn't aware of was apparently there is an additional surgical procedure that you can get to help hook up your nerve endings for the nipple grafts. I, of course, expect sensation to be altered by top surgery (especially double incision) but I do want to preserve sensation in the nips as much as possible!! I'll have to go to a separate consultation with a second surgeon but they'll both work on me the same day.

I lastly had some concerns with what pain medications I'll be prescribed; my family has a large, ugly history with opioid addiction and I desperately do not want to be apart of it. The surgeon was grateful that I brought it up and assured me that this procedure is very low risk for folks with these concerns, even for folks who are afraid of relapsing themselves are extremely low risk for this surgery. With that being said, he also made a note to have me on something that isn't as intensive (he said some medication that started with a T, but I can't quite remember the rest), it was comforting for me to have that concern recognized as this is something that literally keeps me up at night.

Now I wait! Literally can't do anything until the surgeon center and insurance people finish exchanging information on me, so I wait 1-2 weeks until my NEXT appointment where they'll draw on me or whatever (incision cuts). Really really REALLY hoping and praying that I can get on the slab before the end of the year!! I'll try give updates, if my anxiety doesn't convince me out of it.

I started this at the end of March this year so I'm glad all the waiting is finally paying off, I've been so fucking stressed out about it, it's not even funny. I'm so happy to finally be this close :,]

[topsurgerystuff]

Now, I will expound upon the scary things. These are things that happened after top surgery that spooked me.

All of these things ended up being harmless, I just wasn’t told they would happen and couldn’t find any info about them so they scared me shitless. My intention here is to save others from similar needless panic. This is not medical advice, just a description of my experience. Well some of it is advice, but keep in mind that I’m fucking stupid and I don’t know shit. Also, Never for one second have I regretted this surgery. The only thing I miss about my tits is being able to grope them whenever I wanted.

Okay so first of all there was the bruises. Blood from the surgery had pooled in my love handles and all over my thighs under my skin and made these HUGE bruises, right, and they didn’t hurt but they were large and had funky colors and I thought “What if the blood rots under my skin”. I googled it, I asked all my friends, I tried to reach my doctors but it was the weekend so they didn’t answer so I went to urgent care and the doctor there was like “I dont know…. That’s scary….” So I was freaking out and decided I would simply wait for death to claim me. It was fine. When I finally got ahold of the doctor she said she’s never seen it before but to just watch it and tell her if it gets bigger. My body slurped that shit back up in a couple weeks, totally harmlessly. Why haven’t surgeons ever seen shit like that before? Probably because nobody’s ever freaked out about it enough to mention it to them. Either way, it was fine.

Secondly, when I had those drains in me, that was spooky because I thought “What if they get yanked out and tear up my shit” and I couldn’t take off the bandage too see or nothing but when I did eventually take them off, I saw that there are stitches around the pipes but not like holding them in you, just there to make sure the holes they put in you stay the same size they are. So if they get pulled out you don’t get seriously damaged, you just call them up and say yo can you put this shit back in me pls. There will also be little meat chunks coming through your tubes with your soup and the soup will be mildly funky smelling. That’s normal. I was told to tell them if there was like CRAZY amounts of meat or if the soup smelled absolutely nasty. Also the bolster things they put on your nips are attached directly to your nips and nothing else, so if you feel shit sliding around under your bandage, that’s the bandage sliding, not the bolsters. They didn’t tell me that so I thought I was gonna wake up with one on my back or something and not be able to put it back where it was. And they make it so it’ll be nice and slippery in there the whole time so don’t worry about the bolsters getting ripped off, there’s not enough friction in there to do that.

There was also the hydrocodone they gave me. For me, the incisions didn’t hardly hurt at all even immediately after surgery but they prescribed me hydrocodone so I took it, and I assumed I wasn’t hurting because of the drugs and that if I stopped taking them I would hurt a LOT. So here I am taking opioids and I’m so fucking dizzy and I’m violently throwing up for two days. I texted my doctor and begged to stop taking it because I thought I would get in trouble or something if I stopped without asking and she’s like “Yeah, you didn’t have to take it if you didn’t want to, its just there if you need something stronger” ohhhhhhhh well fuck me I guess. So I stopped taking it and it turns out I didn’t need pain meds at all because it barely hurts, it just feels like a really long paper cut.

Some other things, I popped a stitch in my armpit because when you first come home and your shits still all numbed up, you can’t feel it when you overstretch your arm so if you forget you’re not supposed to do that, you can pop a stitch. It got infected, I put some antibiotic on it, it took a long time to heal and it made the scar a little uglier but it didn’t cause anything crazy. I will say that my incisions go up into my armpits really far and it was real hard to keep them clean on account of all the sweat. My nipple grafts also had many tiny, shallow stitches and I thought “What if they fall out because they’re so shallow”. That’s normal. My dad said that’s how you do stitches for sensitive areas so they look pretty, and they do look pretty, and also they are supposed to fall out after a couple weeks, that is also normal. Just make sure they don’t fall out too soon I guess. Pretend you’re made of glass for the first 4 weeks, honestly.

Also, your nip has the little oil glands in it, right, and when you’re nip scabs over as it is supposed to, it will scab inside these oil pores and you’ll lose the whole rest of the scab and have these little leftover scraps, and you Must. Not. Pick them. Those pores in my nips are little craters now because I picked the scabs out of them. Every scab you pull off, even the ones that are thin and tiny and already hanging halfway off, is going to make your nip even uglier. You wont die but you will say “Ugh why did it do that”.

Also, my nip hole collects nasty shit in it that I have to clean out all the time and since I can’t feel anything in there I have the be VERY careful. Skin is actually very easy to puncture. And there’s like little caverns in there that also get stuff in them a lot so I still put antibiotic on my nips after I shower just in case? Not really sure if its infection or like dead skin… its been getting better over time at least. Sorry if that’s TMI but listen, somebody’s gotta talk about it.

Sometimes my scars, the main incisions, will get these little blackheads right in the middle of them or little pockets of infection, and I always pick at them and the scar tissue isn’t very strong so when you pick at things on your scar, you will break open all the blood vessels around it and have a big red spot and the scar tissue is such that you will not get the blackhead out anyway so just dont do that. Put some antibiotic on it. Honestly just put antibiotic on anything that looks sus. Antibiotic can solve anything.

Okay idk what else to say so end post goodbye.

[maxpoorly]

First day back to school tomorrow without boobs yall 🫶🏼

[virensere]

CW: operation incisions

Top surgery: done!!!!

I'm so happy aaaaggh!

[transmascissues]

12 weeks post-top surgery thoughts

most importantly, i’m absolutely fucking in love with how things look! it’s still not set in stone yet, my surgeon said i won’t really see the final result until up to a year after, but I’m so happy with it already.

my surgeon’s default timeline would’ve had me starting scar tape at 4 weeks, but i still haven’t started yet because some little scabs are still hanging around even though most of my scars are completely healed. my surgeon didn’t seem concerned about it taking longer than expected, she just said everyone’s body is different. given that i have a connective tissue disorder and skin that just hates being messed with at all, i’m not surprised that it’s been slow going and i’m just happy that the rest is healing so well. i just had another post-op today and was cleared to start using scar tape because the scabbing is so minimal at this point, so i can finally move on to the next stage of healing.

i can (mostly) lift my arms now! they still can’t quite go all the way up, but i have enough of my mobility back that the only things i really struggle with are super high shelves like the ones above my fridge, and things like the washer and dryer that i have to reach really far to get into. technically, i was supposed to wait six months before raising them because that’s what my surgeon usually recommends for aesthetic purposes, but i have to be able to raise them to do my job anyway so i’m not limiting myself beyond the natural limits of discomfort at this point.

my chest muscles are mostly back to normal too, but they’re still very sensitive. when i flex them, it doesn’t hurt or feel uncomfortable but i am a lot more aware of the feeling than i was before. they also still tire out more easily than they used to — i’m back at work now, and i’ve learned the hard way that i tend to favor one arm over the other for certain tasks because when i do any of them for too long, i start to feel it in that side of my chest. it’s not anything too bad, but i’m still making sure my shifts are spread out because i don’t want to risk overdoing it.

i’m getting used to touching my own chest, but being touched by other people still feels super weird and honestly uncomfortable at times, particularly when it’s my bare chest and not over my shirt. i’ve been touching it a lot to try to desensitize it since around week 3 or 4, and it seems to be working as far as my own touch, but other people is a whole other story — when my boyfriend is touching my bare chest and their hand touches the scars, it doesn’t actually hurt but i react to it like it does. i suspect it’s more of a mental thing than anything, that since i’m still instinctively protective of it and not quite used to how it feels, touches that i’m not in control of just automatically set off alarm bells. it’s also just a generally foreign feeling even without the weirdness of healing because my boyfriend never really touched my chest before surgery since i was dysphoric about it, so it seems to require desensitization on multiple levels. i’ve given them permission to keep touching it even when i flinch (unless i explicitly ask them to stop) because i want to make sure i start getting used to the feeling.

i’m also still very sensitive to pressure against my chest, especially the front of it. it’s getting easier to lie down on my side now but i’m still using my body pillow to take some pressure off of the scars under my armpits, because if i don’t i usually can only stay in that position for a little while. my boyfriend can mostly lay their head on my chest for short periods of time now, but the position matters because if the weight isn’t distributed evenly enough or if it’s on the wrong part of my chest, it hurts. that being said, less intense pressure on the front like a hug or holding something to my chest is pretty much fine, i’m just still more sensitive to it (as with everything). i’ve been able to lay face down on top of my boyfriend a couple times without discomfort too, but i’m still erring on the side of caution and not laying on my chest too much yet.

when i was around a month in and thought i would be starting scar care soon, i was really nervous about it — particularly about the scar massage — because of the state my chest was in. i still didn’t feel like i could press on it or move the skin around or pick it up with my fingers at all, and the scar tissue underneath was still really thick and firm. i assumed that all of that would stay the same until i did the massages to break down the scar tissue and loosen things up, but i can now confirm after another month and a half of doing nothing while things healed, my skin is naturally a lot more mobile and a lot of that really thick scar tissue has already broken down. obviously i’m still going to start massaging now because i want to give myself the best possible chance of healing well, but i wish i had known how much my chest would be able to bounce back on its own. in hindsight, i’m glad i ended up having to wait to start the massage instead of doing it back when my chest was much less healed, because i’m much more comfortable manipulating it now.

every once in a while, i’ll get sharp pains in my chest. they aren’t horribly painful, mostly just unpleasant. they feel a lot like the nerve zaps i was getting earlier in recovery so it might be another round of nerves reconnecting, but it also happens more often when i’m working so it’s hard to say if it’s nerves or over-exertion. either way, i always make sure to take it easy when i start to feel that, just in case it is a sign of me doing too much.

i typically almost never eat meat, but i chose to reintroduce it into my diet after surgery to get more protein, because i wanted to make sure my body had everything it needs to heal and protein is a huge part of that. now that i’m pretty much all healed skin-wise and just waiting for everything to settle, i’ve decided it’s time to go back to my usual diet of not-fully-vegetarian-but-pretty-damn-close. i’m sure the diet change wasn’t strictly necessary but i don’t regret doing it, though i am glad to be switching back now.

putting on shirts still hasn’t gotten old. seeing how they look over a flat chest honestly feels surreal, but in the best way. hugging people and being able to press all the way into it js also still such a great feeling. i’m far enough in now that i can do all of that stuff without worrying about it, but still early enough that it all feels really new and special, and i’ve been thoroughly enjoying that.

wearing a more genderfucky outfit out in public for the first time post-op was a fucking blast. my boyfriend and i went to a new year’s eve party, and getting to show off my chest through a sheer lace top and my facial hair alongside makeup was so much fun. it was the first time i’ve been able to go all out without the lingering feeling in the back of my mind that dressing up means inevitably being seen as a woman. i definitely didn’t look like a cis man to any of the people who saw me, but they could clearly tell i wasn’t a cis woman at the very least, and knowing that made me so much more confident.

i’m far enough away now from being in the trenches of early recovery that the reality of the fact that i got such a big surgery has started to fade. when i really think about the fact that my body went through all of that and about how hard early recovery was, it doesn’t quite feel real anymore. i’m starting to reach the point one of my friends told me about, where my chest being like this feels so normal that it’s just like “yeah, of course, it’s always been like this, right?” it’s wild, really, the difference a couple months can make — it wasn’t that long ago that i was exhausted and arguably depressed from the early recovery process, and now it all feels so normal that i have to remind myself it took all of that to get here. i never really doubted that it would be worth it in the end, but i’m still more sure of that now than i ever have been.

the last couple months have been a long road, but somehow they’ve also flown by. it’s given me so much appreciation for my body — its potential to transform and what it’s been able to withstand. i wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.

[phosmic]

its been officially 8 weeks post-op :]

[transqu33r]

2 months post op 🥰

[nookr]

i finally (after waiting for two and a half years) had top surgery, a couple days ago

and when i came out of surgery i was just indifferent, which didn't surprise me bc i read alot about other people's experiences with it. my chest was flat now, yeah but i didn't get to see it yet and so it was just a thought that i didn't spend much time on when trying to sleep off the after effects of anesthesia

the first night after surgery i had to be rushed into emergency surgery bc there was severe secondary bleeding in the right side of my chest and they had to get the blood out quickly. my chest was so swollen it looked like they just left half the boob in there but it was all blood that pooled there and the drains couldn't handle the amount

i woke up groggy and in pain and just felt horrible after that. for the next two days i thought about why i was doing this to myself and how i got myself in this situation and if it was actually worth it

this morning they changed my bandages and i got to see my, not swollen, chest for the first time. the joy i felt when i saw how flat it was and how good the incisions looked and how well i was healing, despite the emergency surgery, was so great, that the pain i felt just a couple nights ago was forgotten. my doctor saw me grinning from ear to ear and just told me it looks really good

it's not perfect yet, obviously, i'm only 4 days post-op. but even though it's still bruised and crusty, it feels so much like home in a way that my old chest didn't

and i'm glad

[happyrecoveringslime]

I passed 6 months post op a while back so lemme post an update!

The scars look amazing, you can see one is starting to flatten at some spots.

I actually did run into one small issue, i think maybe around the 3 month mark? I had some pretty painful tension lines. If you get these dont worry, they go away pretty soon!

Mine stuck around for about 2-4 weeks. Bc my rib sticks out, the skin was tensed even if my arm wasnt raised. It was a bit painful constantly during it, but faded really fast. I think it happened because i was starting to have lots of movement again pretty suddenly (had a job where i had to lift stuff over my head multiple times a day) so my skin was adjusting to the sudden increased stretching.

Generally it was all ok!!!

Cant stress how happy this has made me, i heart my tits <3

[my-cat-is-not-ok]

I've never felt so happy and confident before in my life. The difference in my body image is just so drastic already, like, I expected to feel good, but I thought it would take some time.

CW for post-op photos below, 2 days after my surgery in these photos, no blood, but tape and nip bolsters are attached :>