#dramatic fruity man

[mochipong]

Oh, starboy

[tacagen]

quentin 'fruity hands' beck from the first mysterio-featuring issues you will always be remembered

[hauntedwoman]

anyways with that being said

[kitten4sannie]

ᴄʀᴀᴢʏ ꜰᴏʀᴍ | ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏɴᴇ

pairing: dilf! san x boytoy! wooyoung x fem! reader

genre: smut <3

summary: you search for a rebound at your local club after a break up. the club owner and his favorite boyfriend are there to satisfy your needs.

w.c: 3.3k

warnings: daddy dom kinda switch! san (almost chewed my fingers off writing him like this trust), dom! wooyoung (he’s kinda passively there when it comes to reader but i promise he’ll be more prominent in part two~), subby good girl! reader, woosan, alcohol use, reader is not drunk but sufficiently tipsy, daddy kink, dirty talk, pet names (angel, princess, pretty girl, etc), teasing, possessiveness, praise, voyeurism/exhibitionism, body worship, grinding, kissing, marking, fingering, double? blowjob? idk (san gets head while giving it too oop-) , deep-throating, slight hair pulling, snowballing

a/n: hii guess who’s back from the dead just in time for the cb? <3 and i brought a present ~ a naughty one hehe :3 the inspo came from those pics above bc they look so expensive and cunty and so yummy ugh and THEN san decided to strip at the mama awards and now i’m ILL and ready to howl at the moon anyways !!this is out of pocket like usual and i put my whole kitty into it okayyy so i hope you enjoy and pls lemme know if you’re excited for part two >< <33

song rec: incubator by ph-1, gun by doja cat, wine pon you also by doja cat feat. konshens (every time i hear the last part it reminds me of san’s dance cover hnnnnhgg)

“Girl, you better slow down on that drink,” the woman sitting beside you at the bar warned, resting her forearms down on the cool surface of the sleek marble countertop, continuing to watch you slurp down a long island iced tea. “I’m not about to hold your hair up for you later.”

“Can you leave me alone? I’m grieving over here, god,” you whined to her with your straw still in between your pouting, quivering lips, your eyes brimming with tears. “And for the record, he broke up with me over text. Text.”

She shook her head. “You are not about to cry over a man right now.”

You pushed your empty glass away, before dramatically pointing a finger into your chest, causing the strap of your dress to droop down your shoulder a bit. “You’re right, but I can still be a mess if I want to, thank you very much.”

“Well, you’re certainly achieving that,” she stated, idly sipping on her own drink, looking you up and down until you felt like you had to prove something to her.

“Okay, fuck this,” you muttered, pushing yourself off of the barstool and pulling your dress down where it was beginning to rise up near your ass, sniffling a bit.

“Where are you going?”

Pulling out a small tube from the v-neck of your dress to apply a fresh coat of lip gloss, you smacked your lips together and motioned your hand to the vast amounts of sweaty, drunk people grinding on each other on the opposite side of the club. “I’m gonna get some rebound dick. Don’t wait up.”

The woman smiled to herself as she watched you disappear into the sea of people, still just sipping on her drink. Little did you know, someone else was already waiting for you in that crowd. And they came as a package deal.

-

“I want her, Sannie,” Wooyoung chimed to the older man that was sitting beside him on the comfy VIP couch, the man’s arm wrapped protectively around his waist. The younger man took a finger off of his fruity drink to point at the woman that was feeling herself up with her body pressed to an unnamed man on the dance floor across from them, charmed by the unbothered, almost melancholic expression imprinted on her flushed face, like she was just waiting for someone like them to take care of her, to make her pretty face flush for a different reason.

San followed Wooyoung’s manicured nail until it led to the sight of you, a few wrinkles etched into his skin near his lips and where his eyes creased with amusement. “Mmm. Shall I leave you to your own devices then? Daddy can watch you seduce that pretty girl from here, can’t he?” His smile deepened when Wooyoung shifted beside him, his thigh pressing into San’s larger one, knowing his plaything was already getting hot under the collar. San held Wooyoung’s chin between his ringed fingers, leaning in to murmur, “And you’ll be a good boy and bring her to me once you get her nice and wet, won’t you?”

“Yes, Daddy,” Wooyoung replied breathily, barely getting his words out when the man pulled him in for a heated kiss.

Just when Wooyoung began to lean into him, his hands resting on San’s leather-bound chest, the older man broke the kiss, wiping the other’s saliva from his mouth. “Get going, naughty boy.”

Despite being dizzy with need, Wooyoung nodded, obediently nodding as he stood up from the couch. He fixed his hair and checked his makeup, before heading into the sea of sweaty, lust-drunk people to find you.

You were almost too busy rolling your body along to the hypnotic flow of the house track that was bumping through the speakers around you to notice the warmth of someone else pulling you near him, his hand sliding onto the small of your back and his lips against your ear, goosebumps forming across your skin.

“Can I steal you away?” Wooyoung whispered in a low voice, smiling at your slow nod, your eyes practically dilating at the sight of him. You didn’t know angels frequented night clubs. That was news to you. The both of you silently watched as his veiny hands slowly slid onto your hips, his fingers squeezing into them just enough to make you shiver.

He brought you back against him with a gentleness that made you a little weak in the knees, moving his hips against yours, guiding you against his body to the pulsing beats of the song.

Desperate to be needed by the obscenely attractive stranger, you took it upon yourself to grind back against him, feeling his cock harden against your ass through his satin pants.

“Fuck, baby, don’t you know what’ll happen if you keep doing that?” he exhaled into your ear, his fingers moving down slightly to squeeze your thighs.

You turned your head back to meet his searing gaze, licking your lips, your eyelids lowering. “What’s going to happen?”

Glancing to the side to make sure San was still watching, which he was, with a hand clutching his upper thigh, Wooyoung looked back to you, his hands moving further outwards to feel the sides of your ass, encouraging your dress to move up little by little, replying, “We’ll have to play with you, angel.”

“Yes, please,” you breathed out, resting your head against his chest, allowing him to feel up your body, his hands groping along your abdomen to your tits, the cogs inside your head moving at a slower rate than usual. “Wait…did you just say…we’ll?” Just as you spoke, Wooyoung reached around to grasp your chin and guide it to the side, allowing you to spot the fiery-headed gentleman manspreading on the VIP couch across from you, his heated gaze alone making you throb. “Isn’t…that the guy who owns this place?”

“Mm, he owns a lot of things. You see, darling, even though I want you all to myself–” Wooyoung squeezed his hands around your barely clothed tits through your dress, making you moan. “San doesn’t like it when I don’t share with him.” His hands slowly moved down your front to your clothed cunt, feeling your wetness coat his fingers when he rubbed them against your clothed slit. All you could focus on was the way San shifted around on the couch, his hands gripping his thighs like his body was aching to be free from his tight ensemble, Wooyoung’s upcoming offer barely getting processed in your hazy brain. “Do you wanna meet him?”

One single nod was all it took for Wooyoung to take your hand with a knowing smile on his pretty face, like he could already tell what was about to go down that night, before guiding you past the crowd, the bouncers, and directly up to San, who was eagerly waiting your arrival.

As soon as you stepped foot into the exclusive lounge, the visual of the older man had your already weak knees ready to buckle underneath you now that you could see him up close. He was dressed head to toe in sleek, expensive leather. The top only had two buttons to support his front, his broad chest on full display for you to drool over. Your eyes eventually followed upwards until you got to his obscenely handsome face, his sharp, feline-like features bathed in the club’s sinful red lighting. Then, of course, the nail in the coffin was the dimpled smile he offered you, one that was so inviting that you didn’t realize you were being drawn to him like a moth to a burning flame.

“That’s right, go ahead and get nice and comfortable on my lap, sweetheart,” his words, sweet like honey, melted off his tongue in a low drawl, his limbs wrapping around you as soon as you sat down on his lap, resting one hand comfortably on your thigh, his other reaching up to play with your hair. “What brought you here tonight? To my pretty boy? To me?”

You gently hooked an arm around his neck to keep yourself upright, gazing at Wooyoung who sat beside you both on the couch, his fingers rubbing gentle circles around one of your ankles, before turning your head to look at the older man, trying to keep bad memories from flooding your brain.

San gently twirled your hair around his finger, urging in a deep, comforting voice, “Let it out. Don’t be afraid, princess.”

Your brain offered you a pleasant fuzziness instead. “I…had a bad breakup…I just really wanted to come here, get my back blown out, and forget about it all, you know?”

Wooyoung stifled a cackle, while San’s lower lip jutted out in a pout, his hand splaying across your upper thigh, slowly rubbing it up and down. “Poor angel. I bet he never made you feel needed, huh?” You mirrored his pout, shaking your head. “I can make you feel needed, baby. Do you want that?” A nod this time, your breath caught in your throat. San leaned in, pressing his lips to your warm cheek, murmuring, “Then, let Daddy take care of you, alright?”

And just like that, there were no rules anymore. No regulations. No holding back. Just you, two strangers, and a club full of people that couldn’t care less about what you were doing. San still held you in his lap, your trembling legs just barely spread open enough to allow his hand in between them, rubbing his thick digits against your cunt through your soaked panties, while Wooyoung had a front row seat. “Is it good for you, baby? Or do you want more?”

“More,” you exhaled, about to say something when San squeezed your clit roughly, making you gasp.

“More, what, princess?” San leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips, whispering against them, “What’s my name?”

“More, Daddy,” you corrected yourself, just as San’s ringed fingers moved past your panties and slipped right inside you up to the knuckle, filling you up just enough to make your brain go fuzzy.

Wooyoung moaned just when you did, biting his lip at the sight of San’s veins popping out when he began to pump his fingers in and out of your squelching hole. “Fuck, that’s so hot…she’s so wet, Daddy…”

“She is, isn’t she?” San agreed, curling his fingers inside you until he hit the spot that made you drool, his lips suddenly latching onto your neck to leave his mark behind on your skin so you could remember exactly what you did when you woke up the next morning. “Look at you, taking my fingers in your tight little cunt like this. Such a good girl.”

“Uh-huh,” you could barely verbalize, whining at his words, clenching around his digits. You could barely focus on anything else except for the older man’s thick fingers stretching you out, his rings offering you a pleasure you didn’t realize you needed in your life, though Wooyoung’s warm hands on your thighs and gentle smile kept you from getting too lost in the moment.

However, San was in the same boat as you, his trapped, throbbing cock already leaking so much pre-cum that he was about to lose it, encouraging him to suggest, “Mm, but you need Daddy’s cock, don’t you?” He watched you give him a weak nod, knowing you were on the edge of orgasming from the way your body began to lock up. “I should just fuck you dumb right here for everyone to see. Have you make a big mess on this couch. It’s my club, after all. Why shouldn’t I do what I want?” He sped up the pace, practically pounding his fingers into your cunt, your arousal leaking down your shaking thighs, continuing to dispel filthy words for only you and his boytoy to hear. “Fuck, they’ll enjoy seeing a pretty thing like you fall apart on my lap, won’t they? See this cunt of yours stretch around my cock and take my cum inside. Mmm. See the way I make you mine.”

Everything was too much. The crowded room. The possibility of someone’s eyes on you. San’s filthy words. His fingers jammed inside your soaked cunt. Wooyoung’s unwavering gaze, his hands squeezing into your thighs. The unrelenting pleasure coursing through your body. You ended up cumming so hard, you saw stars, not even realizing San was silencing your pleasured cries until you felt his lips on yours and his tongue push into your open mouth. Just as San pulled away, Wooyoung took his place, tasting the alcohol on your tongue, before gently tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.

“Should we go to your office now, Sannie?” Wooyoung asked the older man, his hooded eyes flitting between San’s and yours, neither of you even having to speak another word before you all got up from the couch.

-

“Whoa,” you murmured to yourself, looking around the expansive room, the interior matching the rest of the sleek club. Aside from the small computer desk setup in the corner, there was a large bed with satin sheets that took up a good portion of the room, but most of your attention was on the mirrors that were perfectly positioned on either side of the bed, as well as the ceiling. “Mirrors?”

“Sannie likes to watch himself,” Wooyoung giggled, rubbing the small of your back in comforting circles, leading you to the bed alongside San who sat down on the edge of it, looking up to you and Wooyoung who stood behind you, running his hands along your sides up to your shoulders, before taking hold of the zipper of your dress.

“I like to watch pretty angels like you come undone too. Watch the lust take over you until you’re covered in sweat and cum,” San mused, gazing into your eyes until Wooyoung slowly pulled the straps of your dress down, the both of them watching it fall from your body. Groaning, San began to mirror Wooyoung’s actions, unbuttoning his blazer, then pulling it off and revealing an expanse of smooth tan skin, the muscles in his arms flexing as he began to unbuckle his pants. Once San’s pants hit the floor and his thick, veiny cock sprung up, you found yourself sinking down to your knees, your mouth watering at the sight of pre-cum dribbling down the man’s reddened cockhead. “What do you want, princess? Tell me.”

“Your cock,” you requested immediately, settling your hands on his strong thighs. “In my mouth, please.”

“Ahh…?” San tilted his head to the side, his eyebrows raising up slightly.

“Daddy,” you replied swiftly, leaning in to rub your cheek against his hot, throbbing length, pouting, licking at the pre-cum that dripped onto your face. “Please.”

“Good girl. So dirty for me. Aren’t I a lucky man?” San let out a satisfied sigh, reaching down to wrap a good amount of your hair around his fist, holding it in a ponytail so that he could see your face, before sliding his cock into the hot, slick haven that was your mouth and throat. “That’s it, suck it nice and hard, princess. Show me how much you like having Daddy’s cock in your mouth.”

You reciprocated, throating his cock the best you could, choking and gagging occasionally, digging your fingers into his thighs.

“Mmm, there you go. You’re so good for me, angel. Don’t stop, okay?” San praised, closing his eyes, gripping your hair, slowly thrusting himself into your open mouth, delighted by the lewd sounds of your moans and the squelching sounds coming from your throat. Once he felt Wooyoung’s fingers slide into his hair and grip it, San looked up, watching Wooyoung lift one leg up onto the edge of the bed, the younger man’s eyes full of hunger.

Finally getting your throat to relax completely, you simply continued to take San’s cock in your throat, having to blink the remaining tears away to see San clearly — though nothing could prepare you for the sight of Wooyoung guiding San’s head downwards, his twitching cock disappearing inside San’s willing mouth.

“Fuck, it feels so hot,” Wooyoung panted, a bit of drool leaving his plump lips, thrusting deeper until he entered San’s throat, the older man’s groans vibrating onto Wooyoung’s balls each time they touched his chin. “Daddy acts so big and bad all the time, but he just loves getting cock rammed down his throat, huh?”

Wooyoung knew him so well. That’s why he was his favorite, well, aside from the angel that was taking him to heaven with only her mouth. San reached up with his free hand to massage Wooyoung’s balls, guiding his mouth along the younger man’s cock himself, sucking him off like he was made for it, like he always did.

Letting go of San’s hair to touch his own body, shuddering at all the pleasure at his disposal, Wooyoung gazed down at you, watching you obediently take San’s cock, the man’s hand still wrapped up in your hair and tugging at it. “Look at you go. You look so pretty when your mouth’s stuffed with cock, angel. You’re gonna make my Daddy cum so hard for you, huh?”

Squeezing your thighs together around your hand that was playing with your dripping cunt, you nodded your head, swearing you were about to cum just from what was happening around you, knowing San was in a similar place from the way he started to involuntarily buck his hips up into your mouth.

“Don’t swallow and save some for me, baby, okay? Don’t be stingy,” Wooyoung reminded you in a strained, breathy voice, almost falling over from the way San gripped one side of his hips, a string of obscenities falling from his lips when the man forcefully drove his throbbing cock into his hot throat, about to see god herself when San’s throat began constricting around his length like a pussy would. “Fuck, gonna cum, Sannie.”

San pulled back, a few thick strings of saliva connecting his swollen lips to Wooyoung’s dripping tip, his hand closing around the base to jerk him off. “Cum on Sannie’s face, will you? Make a big fucking mess for me.”

Wooyoung whined and panted, San’s slick hand moving quickly along his length, trying not to choke on his spit and moans, barely able to stay upright, but thankfully San had a good grip on his hips.

San looked down at you, licking the saliva from his lips, pulling out just enough so that his thick cockhead rested on your tongue. “Are you going to take this load? Hmm? Want it?”

“Yes, fuck, Daddy, please give it to me,” you begged, panting heavily, your fingers about to slip out of you from how fast you were moving them.

“Oh god, here it comes, angel,” San groaned out, squeezing around the base of Wooyoung’s cock, making him let out a broken, high-pitched whine.

Your combined pleasure came rocketing up to an intense peak, sending the three of you into a mindnumbing state of ecstasy. Thick, hot spurts of liquid came raining down on San’s face, just as his load shot out onto your tongue and down your throat, your own release soaking into the velvet carpet underneath you.

Fading out of reality during the majority of your high, your ears ringing, it took you a minute to realize that someone’s mouth was on yours, their fingers cupping your face. Opening your glossy eyes, you watched in a daze as Wooyoung took his sweet time slurping San’s cum off of your tongue.

San gripped Wooyoung’s hair and brought his head back, parting his lips and allowing Wooyoung to shovel his own cum into his mouth, swallowing it down with a low, pleased groan.

Pleased with the sin that was taking place in front of you, you took it upon yourself to drag your tongue across San’s chiseled jaw to his cheek, collecting some of Wooyoung’s release into your mouth, only to press your lips to his, letting him taste himself. Wooyoung moaned into your mouth, deepening the kiss, until San pulled you away from each other.

“Haven’t had enough, you two?” San chuckled, running a hand through his sweaty hair.

“No~ Not after that,” you giggled, rubbing your cheek against San’s palm when he caressed it.

Wooyoung wrapped his arms around you, looking at San with a sweet smile, his long eyelashes fluttering. “Can we keep her, Daddy? I promise I’ll take good care of her.”

Little wrinkles formed near San’s eyes once he smiled at you. “I suppose so.”

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2023.

[rafeysdoll]

request request request!!🎀

rafe x reader fucking in the bathroom at a random party after she said he’s not paying attention to her!!🤭

you had entered the party with bloated confidence. having blasted your favorite it girl songs in rafe’s truck, wearing a matching pink set. a frilly skirt that gave a tease of your ass pairing nicely with a cropped top that showed perky tits, your strawberry perfume scented skin barely covered.

but within an hour or so, you’d return back to him from your little girlfriends with practically half a brain. tipsy and needy.

“daddy..” you pout, bottom lip dramatically popped out more than usual. “miss you,” you tell in a gentle voice, the fruity drink in your manicured hand halfway finished.

“yea.. uh. give me a moment, yeah doll?” he states, counting some money before turning back to a man you barely realized was besides him. “yeah this will cut it, here you go man.” he says before giving a small baggie.

the unknown man walks away with a smile, rafe pocketing the money as he turned his focus to you. “thought i told you i needed to sell big tonight, hm? don’t you want your allowance money or are you okay with not going on a shopping spree this week?”

you whimper, quickly hiding your flushed face in his chest— trying to be careful not to smear any makeup on his shirt for his and your sake. “i.. is it really that bad of a crime to miss my boyfriend?” you mewl, glossy lips still turned into a frown.

“jus’ want a little attention.. that’s all. you won’t even notice i’m here, promise.” you sweetly continue.

as it turns out, your honesty can be as flexible as the rest of your body.

“ohhh fuckkk!” you cry, rafe practically rearranging your guts as he fucks you against the bathroom door, sliding in and out of your puffy pussy with perfect ease. “mmph! soooo good daddy, so good.” you moan, pulling on his hair, jaw slack as endless high pitched moans flow out of your swollen lips.

“mm, this what you wanted? you happy now, you big baby?” his strained voice taunts. every snap of his hips against yours emits loud, proud moans from you. not caring for those who might pass by. “i.. i am happy,” you moan, still unashamed. “thank you.. thank you daddy.” you whimper, fat cock bullying your pretty insides. tits jumping at each rut.

some part of you worried that one perfect bang of his shaft in your hole would have you wake up in your bed— all having been a dream.

“there’s your manners, such a good girl.” he praises, taking in your lips for a sloppy kiss before continuing. “always.. always take it so well, baby.” a smirk reaching his face as he lowers his massive hand down your body, quickly finding your clit to rub— your face twisting in what could only be a mixture of ache and pleasure.

“gotta come with me, alright doll? know you can do it for me. you’re perfect.” his sweet words making your walls slicker. “y-yes.. yes daddy.” you agree, desperate and pathetic. submissive little dummy.

your brain had practically already finished its transition to mush, nothing floating in there but rafe and his dick.

it was only a matter of time before you both came, your cunt squeezing around him with all it’s got, spilling around his base as you felt his warm cum spill inside you. he was careful to pull out of your folds, small whimper at the loss of fullness. gently putting you down. “i love you.” you mewl, emotions raw. your brain still coming back to you as hot cum oozes out.

he moves to wipe a bit, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i love you. did real good for me.”

[spoonsand]

RIP RED DEAD CHARACTERS YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED

Dutch- disposable fruity flavoured (mango) vapes, Duolingo

Hosea- rollerblading, old VHS movies, The Sound of Music, ear studs, small hoops, and ear cuffs

Arthur- LED strip lights, therapy, The Joy of Painting

John- Ax body spray, deodorant, those little arm floaties little kids wear in the pool

Mary-Beth- Lego flowers, The Notebook, Pinterest

Tilly- Easter egg hunts, making slime, slumber parties

Karen- Tube/crop tops, jean shorts, weightlifting

Sean- make your own mead kits, TikTok, “kiss me in Irish”, SUNSCREEN

Abigail- AirTags (she would put one on little Jack), Roasting marshmallows, Crime shows/courtroom dramas, Man! I Feel like a woman! By Shania Twain

Uncle- recliner chairs, dog sledding, Wheel of Fortune, Crosswords

Susan- Dark nail polish, cats(I’m 100% sure she’d own either a black cat or a tortishell that would sit on her lap/shoulder), dishwashers

Kieran- Creep by Radiohead, Tv shows about veterinarians, friendship bracelets (with Arthur)

Reverend Swanson- Support groups, The Robert Langdon series (especially Inferno, Angels & Demons), communion wine

Javier- Cards Against Humanity, online sheet music, ear gauges

Molly- Champaign toast anything from bath and bodywork’s, naval AND lip piercing, SUNSCREEN

Bill-sexy firefighter calendars, Grindr, Bumbl, all the dating apps, apples dipped in caramel, jolly ranchers

Charles- IMessage games (mini golf and battleship in particular), those long distance ‘thinking of you bracelets’, 90’s sitcoms

Lenny- The Carpenters, cologne to make him seem grown up, head pats

Trelawney- Harry Houdini, 50-60s movies, smoke bombs, dramatic flares

Strauss- a soul, Nigerian Prince scams, telemarketing

Sadie- gyms, self defence classes, the free Britany movement

Micah- staying in the strawberry jail, toothbrush + paste, good posture

Pearson- small businesses, handmade gifts, trying TikTok recipes

EXTRA

Annabelle- Gwen Stefani, sequins, Fast and the Furious

Jack (young)- The Backyardagains, cocomelon, a little toy train

Jack (epilogue)- Monty Python, skateboarding, swimming

Bessie- Bette Midler look a like contests, growing old, brown eyeliner, SUNSCREEN

[i-will-cry-you-a-river]

Kinda continuation of this fic about this idea.

So.

He might have been slightly wrong about his assessment.

In his defense, Proud Immortal Demon Way was a stallion novel with lots of (bad) hetero papapa. Who would have thought that just by transmigrating a gay person in the universe would make everything more fruity, changing the whole genre?! (Okay, two gay people. Turns out Airplane was gay too. Suddenly, everything made so much sense after that revelation.)

(It was embarrassing to think back of that revelation. Even if it led him to his first boyfriend.

Especially because it led him to his first boyfriend.

Oh boy. Even thinking about it makes him want to dig himself a cushy little hole to bury himself. His first boyfriend. Shen Qingqiu was still too thin faced for this. To even remember how shameless Shang Qinghua was.

“Bro. Brooo! I'm gay. Why do you think My King is like that?!

“What?!” Shen Qingqiu was shocked. Sure, it was always a bit suspicious that Luo Binghe’s right hand man was still alive even though he was gorgeous, but to be the writer's perfect man? That explained so much…

“Yeah! He is like, my dream man! Gorgeous, a cold beauty, so mean and cruel, yet caring and loyal to those who deserve… I'm so weak for this type of men. Men who could step on me and I would thank them for it…” Shang Qinghua was embarrassing with his dreamy little sighs. And- were those stars in his eyes?! Was he drooling?!

Shameless! Utterly shameless!

But that description…

“Is that why Luo Binghe was like that too? Do you want my sweet lotus to step on you?! You shameless pervert!”

A snort was his answer.

“L-O-L. Of course you would think of Luo Binghe. No. I mean, yes, of course, but I wasn't thinking of my son.” There was an uncharacteristically calculating look in Shang Qinghua’s eyes. It was oddly attractive, not that Shen Qingqiu noticed it. Nope. He definitely did not notice it.” Can't you think of someone else that could be described as such?”

“No, not really. Gorgeous and beautiful, yes, many, but… Cold? Hm. I mean…” he trailed off. Shen Qingqiu - the OG - was a cold beauty. But he was a despicable scum villain, with no loyalty to anyone. And “caring”?! Hah! No way!”

“The original good was gorgeous and mean and cruel… but definitely not caring and loyal! Is it really a male character?”

“Bro.” The condescence was dripping from that word. “O-M-G, bro. How can you be so smart, yet so dense at the same time?! I'm talking about YOU!”

“...”

He?

They just looked at each other, one behind his facepalm, the other blue screening.

“Wait. What?!”

And that was how the talks about their relationship started.)

He would have preferred if he had a working System that notified him of such changes, instead of finding it out like how he found out.

[Host did not ask 乁⁠༼⁠☯⁠‿⁠☯⁠✿⁠༽⁠ㄏ]

Hmph.

But it was great! Life was great! Everything was great!

“Piss off you halfbreed!”

Except for when it was not.

“What? Is Liu-shishu jealous of this discipline? This is my time with Shizun, so you piss off!”

Shen Qingqiu sighed, and hiding behind his fan, he resisted the urge to facepalm. Honestly, his boyfriends…

“If this master's shidi and discipline do not learn how to drink tea together peacefully, this master will visit the Sect Leader instead. This master is sure Zhangmen-shixiong would be pleased with the unscheduled visit.”

“SHIZUN!” cried his sticky discipline - the Emperor, really. Fucking protagonist halo - in outrage. “No, Shizun can't do this! This is this discipline’s time with Shizun!”

“Shen-shixiong!” Huffed Liu Qingge as well. His boyfriends were so dramatic, honestly…

He sighed again. A repeating act when he spent his time with these two.

He wouldn't want it anyway else, though. These two were his dramatic brutish idiots.

“Come here,” he opened his arm, and Luo Binghe immediately threw himself into the hug. Liu Qingge was slower, more resistant, as if the little tsundere didn't like these hugs, but at Shen Qingqiu’s raised eyebrow, he leaned into the hug with more dignity.

It's okay, shidi, this master will not tell anyone that you are a big softie who loves cuddling with your shixiong and shizi.

“Would Shizun leave us for the Sect Leader?” sobbed Luo Binghe into green robes.

This needy protagonist…

“Leave? No. But you know that there has been… talks… between this master and Zhangmen-shixiong. The Sect Leader is… well. The thing between this master and Yue Qingyuan is different. There are too many misunderstandings and a burdening past between us. It is a slow process. Don't be so jealous, okay? This master… This master cares for you. For both of you. All of you, really…”

And wasn't that a mindfuck. He transmigrated as a virginal disaster gay, whose main goal in his second life was to hug the protagonist's golden thighs to survive, and there he was now, having a literal harem of gorgeous, hypercompetent men. Like- how? How the fuck?!

System, explain this!

[Since the protagonist Luo Binghe is not open to have a harem, the task was assigned to-]

Okay, okay, okay! I know!

Fucking hell.

It was still so weird that the “harem owner” halo was transferred to him. Not to Shang Qinghua - though he also has another boyfriend so he had two people who would gladly step on him -, not to Liu Qingge - who had a frenemies-to-lovers-by-proxy kinda relationship with Luo Binghe -, not even to the Luo Binghe-like Xiao Gongyi - who literally sent an application form to Shen Qingqiu's current partners to apply as a new harem member, WTF?! -, but to him! Shen Yuan!

Wild.

“It would be better for your health, if you'd finally allow Mu Qingfang to court your, but at least it is not the mutt’s snake of a cousin…” Liu Qingge grunted, still salty about that time when he was late to “save” Shen Qingqiu and Zhuzhi-lang “saved” him instead. Shen Yuan still maintained his opinion that knew what he was doing and he was not a damsel in distress, needing a strong man to save him!

He cleared his throat. “Uh… about that…”

“SHIZUN!”

“SHEN QINGQIU!”

The two shouts of dismay were expectable, as was the silent communication between the two lovers-by-proxy. Now the two had a common enemy, which he should probably discourage if he wanted his new pet to stay alive, but… He would not. The two needed to bond, the UST between them was killing Shen Qingqiu, and his slippery little snake was great at surviving. He would be fine.

Shen Qingqiu's sanity, on the other hand, was not.

No matter… who needed sanity, when he had a harem full of violate, powerful, gorgeous men who - against all reason - loved him.

And he loved them in return.

Life was good!

[Host is welcome! Please, rate your experience with a five star review!]

Fuck off!

[abadbitchblogs]

SOS

Part 1

Pairing: Jey Uso x black!OC x Damian Priest

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.2k

a/n: This is my very first piece and I'm so nervously excited for you all to embark on this journey with me. Shout out to @wrestlingprincess80 for being a mf hail mary. Thank you to anyone who takes their time to read my work! This will be a part of a mini series so stay tuned! All likes, comments, reblogs and feedback is greatly appreciated!

-divider by @cafekitsune

“To the biggest motherfucking return in WWE history! The brightest star is back, bitches!!!”

Glasses clinked together in a toast to celebrate Naomi returning to WWE; the section erupting in cheers and applause for their friend. Kennedy took a swig from whatever fruity cocktail was placed in front of her before throwing her arms around Trinity. “I'm so happy you're back! I missed you so much.” She gushed, almost squeezing the life out of her best friend. “And I'm glad to be back here with all of y'all. Don't get me wrong, the people over at TNA are cool, but this is home.” Anyone tuned into their conversation let out an ‘awww’ and reciprocated the sentiment. Naomi's return was trending #1 on every social media outlet after the Royal Rumble. All the superstars decided to hit the club as a welcome back celebration for Trinity.

Jon was taking advantage of the time he was finally getting with his wife after being apart for so long. Leaning closer to the couple, Ken brushed his arm off of Trin’s shoulder playfully to catch his attention. “MY other half is back and it's time to feel the glow!” She made sure she spoke loud enough for the twin to hear just for him to suck his teeth in response.``Man watch out. This is MY wife, okay?”, he scoffed, giving a dramatic eye roll like they were on a reality show. “If you miss me, just say that.” She let out a cackle at his over the top nature before getting up to give him a hug. “Yeah yeah yeah. Long time no see, Juice. I miss you or whatever.” 

“Mhm i see you over there on the red side doing ya thing. I think you should've won that championship.” “Me too, but I'm just getting started! Damage Ctrl better keep their head on a swivel.” The smaller group agreed with an ‘I’ll drink to that’ thrown in their personal toast.

Back when they all got called up to the main roster from NXT, life was so lit. The four of them would travel together, room together, train together - do everything together. How many superstars could say the company favored them through injuries, drafts and creative uncertainty. When Trin married Jon, she gained an entire family she never knew she needed and being so far from home, Kennedy was grateful to not be alone. 

Ken was from New Jersey but when her parents split up in middle school, she moved to Orlando with her father for a fresh start. Any kid would hate being the new girl, but when she met Trinity, it seemed like life just fell into place. They were on the dance team together, they graduated and danced for the Orlando Magic together, they joined FCW together and made it to WWE together. 

Kennedy snapped out of her daze from the warmth enveloping her body which she wasn't sure if it was because of the liquor, or the reminiscing. The girls were catching up on all the tea they didn't get to share being on different brands when the air in the room shifted. It was stiff and humid like those stifling hot summer days that fucked up the freshest silk presses. 

Joshua had finally made his appearance after doing press with Cody after his big victory for a second year in a row. He dapped up his twin then gave his sister in law a warm embrace but before he could entertain any interaction with Kennedy, she had gotten up to get another round of drinks.

When she got out of the section, she sucked in a breath so deep her lungs almost burst. She shuffled through the grinding bodies to get to the bar and ordered them another round of cocktails since everyone was keeping it light with them having to travel to the next city for RAW the following day. With a promise to have the drinks sent over to their section, she sulked back to the group and plopped down next to her bestie. Of course her big mouth husband couldn't just enjoy the moment with his nosey ass.

“Aye I know me and Trin ain't around like we used to be but at least you got the next best thing!” Jon patted his brother's chest as he laughed at his own jokey joke but she couldn't even spare a glance in that direction without feeling sick so replied with a low ‘mhm’ then chugged the rest of her lemon drop. Josh visibly stiffened at the comment making Jon's eyebrows furrow in confusion at the mood change. Before the couple in the middle could question the tense reaction, Shake Sumn blasted through the speakers. Kennedy hopped up with an excited squeal, pulling Trinity towards the dance floor. “I'm not leaving without a dance! Let's go!”

I don't know how to dance but can lean And make the ghetto bitches put they hands on they knees Make the ghetto bitches put they hands on they knees  Make the ghetto bitches put they hands on they knees

They rarely had the same days off - let alone being able to go out and let loose so when they did, it was a movie. Ass was bouncing up, down, left, right, in a circle - you name it. They were throwing that shit. Josh was trying to be discreet as he watched Kennedy; his cup held in front of his face with his eyes peering over to the dance floor. That old flicker of desire and possession crawled up his back but was snubbed out when they made brief eye contact and her face scrunched up in disgust. She turned away letting the cold shoulder fill his veins with icy guilt. 

The dance mix had their shoes discarded as they danced on each other like they were auditioning for a music video. Before the two really scrub the ground, the DJ cut the music per someone's request to dedicate a song their lady and of course it had to be their song. 

This is for you, you, my number one This is for you, you, my number one Oh, yeah, yeah-yeah This is for you, you, my number one

Jon mosied over to take Ken’s spot while she slipped her shoes on to give them their husband and wife time. This time when she straightened up, Joshua's eyes were boring straight into hers, his hand itching to have her wrapped around him again. The warmth simmering in her stomach spread to her brain making her feel lightheaded. She made a beeline to the bathroom in search of relief from the bile rising in her throat. But of course Kennedy was stopped short just a few feet away from the door when a hand grabbed her wrist.

“Kennedy.” She didn't need to turn around to know who was keeping her from getting herself together. “Get off me.” His tone told her everything he was already going to say and she ain't wanna hear none of that shit. “Look, i just wanna talk. You been ducking me since I got to RAW.” Her composure completely slipped- his presence sending her into a blind rage. “NOW YOU WANNA TALK, NIGGA?!! YOU AIN'T WANNA TALK WHEN I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE. YOU AIN'T WANNA TALK WHEN YOU FUCKING BLOCKED ME. AND YOU DAMN SURE AIN'T WANNA TALK WHEN YOU SHOWED UP TO OUR MOTHERFUCKING JOB WITH THE SAME WOMAN YOU SAID YOU WERE DONE WITH.” If he wanted to talk, she wasn't going to pull her punches. He was gon shut the fuck up and listen. “I'm not avoiding shit! If i'm not in your face like some groupie bitch it's because looking at you makes me physically sick and i wanna punch you in the damn face.” Trying to count backwards in her head was not working but if she didn't calm down she was gonna lose her job.

“Ken, I know I fucked up and I'm sorry! I wanna make it right. Please, just let me explain.” His pleading only pissed her off more like she owed him something. She thought she got over what happened between them but looking at him broke her heart all over again. Her anger was dippinginto the overwhelming grief she fought to get out of two years ago. “Nah, you know  what? We cool. It was nothing. We were just going through some shit and used each other to feel better, right?” Turning to head back to the dance floor, she let her friends know she was gonna head out for the night under the guise of having to drive to Tampa the next day for RAW. Trinity thought they should leave too to make sure she got back to the hotel safe but she insisted they stay and enjoy their night together. After a quick round of hugs to their group partying in the VIP section, Ken flew out the club like a bat out of hell.

Her curls whipped wildly from the night breeze as she stood outside trying to get an Uber. A shiver wracked her curvy frame and she cursed herself for not wearing a jacket because the wind was tearing her little lace outfit up. Suddenly her mama's scolding of sacrificing being cold to look cute made her snicker. The heavy scent of leather filled her nostrils as a weight was set on her shoulders. “You shouldn't be out here by yourself, cariña.”

Turning around to face her savior, she gave him a sly smile. “Didn't think I'd see you here, Priest. This ain't a dive bar you know.” Her shot at him coaxed a surprised laugh to boom out of him. “You don't say? I must've gotten lost, but I'm glad I did. You look amazing,” The tall superstar slowly dragged his eyes from her white painted toes to her perfectly windswept hair, “But i can't imagine that net came with a coat.’’ Oh he was laying the charm on thick and she couldn't deny the turn of events was tantalizing. “Well I guess I should thank you for being such a gentleman, Senor Money In The Bank.” “How about you thank me by letting me give you a ride back to the hotel. It's late.” Who knew the leader of The Judgement Day would turn out be her knight in shining armor?

“Alright I'll take you up on that, but if you kidnap me it's going to look suspicious when we both don't show up tomorrow.” He chuckled again at her antics, shaking his head in disbelief before motioning her to his rental. “No funny business I promise, but trust me if I kidnapped you, you'd like it, muñeca.” Taken aback by the remark, she couldn't even think of anything to fire back, opting to climb her happy ass into his passenger seat. Their drive back to the hotel consisted of classic getting to know you banter. Favorite colors, taste in music, hometowns, dietary choices. It was a vibe - unexpected but welcomed. The chatter continued all the way up until the pair made it to her door just like he promised.

“This is me. Thanks again for rescuing me.” Kennedy leaned against her door to smile up at the mysterious Damian Priest. ”Anytime. Remind me to thank the gang for dragging me out.” She pulled his jacket from her shoulders then held it out to return back to him. “Oh I'll thank them at the show tomorrow. Gotta make sure I ruin your tough guy image." She teased as she unlocked her door only to be stopped for a second time that night. This touch was different. It was envigoraing.

“Do you think I could get your number? You know just in case there's an ax murderer in your room and you need saving again.” In a quick turn she leaned up on her tiptoes to press a lip gloss drenched kiss to his cheek. “I'll think about it. Goodnight.” She tossed a smirk over her shoulder as she retired to her room, leaving Damian in the hall anticipating their next encounter. 

kenthedoll_

kenthedoll_ ACT BAD 🖤

Liked by trinity_fatu and 571,029 others

View all 36,182 comments

trinity_fatu THAT’S MY FRIEND ❤️‍🔥

↳kenthedoll_ 4lifers 🤞🏾

trinity_fatu man delete this you aint grown -Jon

↳kenthedoll_ 🙄

biancabelairwwe The finEST 😍

↳ kenthedoll_ That’s you ❤️

wrestlingprincess80 ik that’s right!

archerofinfamy  😈

↳kenthedoll_ 😊

↳ wwwfanatic03 oop 👀

[theminecraftbee]

“I’m traumatized for life, it was awful,” Grian says, finishing his story for Iskall with great drama, and leaving Iskall with a great deal of questions.

These include: why did Iskall listen to this man rant for nearly two hours? Why did Grian decide to barge into his cave base? When did Grian figure out where he was living? Was this what Mumbo went through every day when he was around? Was Scar just as bad? Why soulmates? What’s a secret soulmate? How do you kill someone on accident? What on earth did Grian mean by “jelly pandas”? Were death games always this, you know… fruity?

Mostly, though, Iskall has to ask: “Why were you doing it for a third time then?”

Grian stares at Iskall, almost offended.

“I mean,” Iskall says. “This is, er, the third time you’ve done this, you know.”

Grian stares.

“You are the one who organizes this,” Iskall tries again.

Grian stares harder.

“You could always just… not? If it’s so traumatic, I mean.”

“No, that’s stupid,” Grian says.

“Okay…?” Iskall says, prompting an elaboration. Grian gives none. They stand there in awkward silence for several minutes.

Finally, Iskall sighs. “Your life sounds very hard,” he says, exasperated.

“THANK YOU!” Grian exclaims, hearing absolutely none of the dripping sarcasm in Iskall’s voice. “It’s just like, you know, it’s like, I knew Ren and Big B…”

Grian continues on again. Iskall sighs. You know, he’d thought it had been bad enough after the first one. But no. They did it again. Twice! He wonders if he can convince Ren, now that Iskall’s picking up a position in his court, to make a quest to get Grian to stop. Unfortunately, he then remembers that not only was Ren also involved, but also he’s twice as dramatic as Grian.

New plan: if Iskall steals Mumbo back from vacation—

[pedge-stuff]

strawberry margs (pedro pascal x gn/m!reader)

a/n: same vague universe as “marked,“ per usual, yada yada.

happy belated labor day, y'all! tip your servers and thank your union reps.

(my union is on strike rn and, while it is ass, I'm very grateful for the people who are working hard to secure a better future for all of us. wga strong!)

summary: a totally normal labor day cookout with no big announcements whatsoever.

—————————————————————————

"Hey!" Pedro is slightly out of breath, flushed from the cocktail and the dry heat. Sometime in the fifteen minutes he's been gone inside the house, a tiny sombrero-on-a-headband has made its way onto his head. 

He plants a kiss on your temple, slinging an arm over your shoulder; the man gets a little possessive, after a couple drinks, but not in an unpleasant way. There's a pitcher of pre-mixed margaritas on the picnic table, and only a thin finger of the same drink left in his plastic cup. You squeeze the hand that now rests on your right shoulder. 

"Are you having fun?" 

Truthfully, yes. Parties usually aren't your vibe, and you'd been nervous about this one, for some reason. Had expressed as much to him, beforehand.

Oscar and Elvira usually host in the summer, the little patio attached to their apartment far surpassing anyone else’s outdoor space in the city. No reason at all to be nervous— you were just here, for the 4th of July, alone, kindly invited while Pedro was still filming in Morocco. (And oh, how the summer had changed.) Had been here almost every weekend since then, while things were shut down. 

But, this was the first party since… well. Since you’d put a ring on it, so-to-speak. 

The social etiquette of the whole thing has you flummoxed. Are you supposed to tell people? Is that annoying? Do you just not say anything? Wait for them to notice? Take the rings off and break up so you don’t have to do this at all? 

Ultimately, these are Pedro’s friends, so it’s been Pedro’s call. Not that you communicated that to him. Which might have been a mistake. Regardless, you’re deferring to him, despite the pit of stupid anxiety it left in your stomach leading up to the party. 

Not that you’re not proud of the ring, either. You couldn’t be fucking happier. Social anxiety is a tricky thing, apparently. (You might have way, way overthought all of this.) 

“Yeah,” you smile at Pedro, shaking cobwebs of shitty thoughts from your brain. “Yeah, this is lovely.” 

Another kiss, this one soft on your lips. He tastes a little fruity, some kinda flavored syrup in the margaritas. You’d accidentally opted for an IPA that tastes like ass, so you’re just carrying around the can as a prop. His fingers are sticky from something, you discover, as he licks them clean.

The arm around your shoulder steers you towards the long picnic table, around which most of the party is gathered: the hosts, and a few extended family members you’ve definitely been introduced to, before. Sarah is here, with Holland, which is a nice surprise. The kids are deep into a game of corn hole, in the small grassy area. 

You settle at the table, folding chair pulled flush against Pedro’s. A large hand palms above your knee, exposed below the inseam of your shorts. The sun is warm on your skin, fingers wet from the condensation of the can you’re pretending to nurse.  

“— the AMPTP doesn’t know what they’re talking about,” Holland is saying, from where you’ve entered the conversation. 

Oscar’s brother, whose name you should know by now, laughs. “Been four months now, though,” he shrugs. “You think someone would’ve budged by now, but—“ 

"Woah, woah." From his perch on his wife's lap, Oscar points, looking scandalized. “What the fuck is that!" 

Pointing, unexpectedly, at the ring on your finger. 

"Uh." Pedro's looks sheepish. 

"You're joking!" A hand dramatically clutches his heart, while Oscar swoons against Elvira. "I'm wounded. Sarah, did you know about this?" 

Across the table, she raises a glass, mockingly. "I picked out the ring." 

"That's not true—" Pedro begins to protest. 

"—Sorry, I forced him to make a fucking decision because he'd been agonizing over three options for like a month." 

Pedro shrugs. "I wanted it to be perfect," he says sheepishly, "sue me!" 

"No, no, backup," Oscar says. "I don't care about the rings. I can't believe you didn't tell me!" 

"I can," Elvira offers, "you've got a big mouth." 

He groans. "It's not like it was a secret!" 

Loud interruptions from across the table. "It was absolutely a secret, that's the whole point!" 

Oscar throws a hand up. "You already act like you're married, is anyone surprised about this?" 

"You were surprised." 

"I was surprised you didn't tell me! Wounded, frankly. Irredeemably. To the core." 

"Are you done?" Sarah rolls her eyes, squeezing Pedro's shoulder affectionately. "About damn time, but we're happy for you." 

She gestures at Oscar. “Yeah, yeah, we’re happy for you.” 

“With feeling this time.” 

“Guys,” Pedro interjects, “I wasn’t keeping anything from you. It happened two days ago!” 

He launches into the tale, eggplants and double-rings and all. The hand stays planted on your knee, and you take advantage, laying yours on top to thumb over the band on his ring finger. Someone tops Pedro off, and you reach for a sip— strawberry, you determine, is the marg syrup. You’re not really listening, but you lean back, content to watch him retell the story. 

The next time he kisses you, as the sun sets into the Brooklyn skyline, you taste like strawberries, too. 

[twinkodium]

𝒞𝑜𝓈𝓎 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓂𝓃 𝒞𝓊𝒹𝒹𝓁𝑒𝓈 (𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓈𝒸𝒶𝓇 / 𝑀𝒸𝓉𝓌𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓈)

ᥫ᭡ Pairing: Landoscar / Mctwinks

ᥫ᭡ Warning: ‼️ Dirty words, Lando is a brat and also horny, nagging and ‘seducing’ Oscar‼️

ᥫ᭡ Genre: Suggestive

ᥫ᭡ Word count: 1,8K

ᥫ᭡ Summary: Oscar plans to relax, read a great book, enjoy the chill atmosphere and the company of his boyfriend after a tiring yet satisfying race weekend. Only said boyfriend has other ideas how to spend their day off that have nothing to do with relaxing.

ᥫ᭡ A/N: Y’all were so excited to read this, I hope it’s not a complete failure and disappoint anyone 😭😭 started as a full fluff idea, but as most of you already know I’m a THIRSTY bitch, so it ended up being suggestive 😂 plus, aren’t they so fruity all the time? Not my fault, they give off those vibes and I followed the flow 🤭 once again BIG FOREHEAD KISSES for @lattesqueeze 🥺🥰 what would I do without you? 🥹

ᥫ᭡ A/N 2.0: lovely Charlotte suggested that I should write a sequel and I immediately had the idea of a TOOTH ROTTING FLUFF where Lando is ACTUALLY sick and Oscar looks after him as the sweet and caring boyfriend he is 🥹🥹 cuz we all would love to see domestic!Oscar right? 🫠 (let me know what you think 🤭)

His small, delicate figure stands in front of the full-length window, lithe arms wrapped around himself as he shivers slightly. He muses that he might be coming down with a cold, as his boyfriend seems to be immune to the freezing temperature in the apartment. His soft, greenish eyes follow the colorful leaves being swept up by the rising wind, twirling around in the air. Heavy rain drops splatter against the glass from all angles, and a big drop catches his attention as it slowly dribbles down the windowpane, disappearing on the edge of the window.

When his shivers become unbearable, he diverts his eyes away from the storm outside and looks around in search of cosy relief for his chilled limbs. The dark green hoodie appears in his sight like a miracle, tossed aside on the sofa nearby. Lando puffs out a sigh as he pulls it over his head and slides his hands into the front pocket, waiting for the warmth to engulf him. The familiar scent hits him, smoothing away his annoyance of bearing with the chill.

They just got back from Qatar, still on a high from the amazing performance they achieved as a team. Lando’s weekend could’ve been better, but he was delighted to celebrate and praise his lover for his achievement. In fact, he couldn’t be prouder as he watched the Australian - his Australian - smiling shyly to the cameras and accepting congratulatory comments, hugs, and hearty slaps on the back from fellow drivers. Goosebumps appear on his arms as he thinks back of how stunning he looked when his sweat, mixed with champagne, ran down his whole body, soaking his race suit and making it stick to his muscular chest and shoulders.

The sound of a distant barking dog wakes him up from daydreaming, and the sweet smell of a pumpkin pie candle lures him towards their shared bedroom. Immediately, he notices the younger man laying on top of the duvet in his lovely, tiny shorts that show off his delicious thighs and a T-shirt tight enough to stretch a little across his well-trained torso. He casually reads a book, looking for all the world as though he doesn’t have a boyfriend to pay attention to. Lando sidles over to the bed, dramatically flopping down face-first to get his boyfriend’s attention, burying his cheeks in the covers and letting out a frustrated groan. Oscar takes his eyes off the page to look over at him with a raised eyebrow, completely oblivious to what could possibly have Lando irritated.

‘What’s up Lan?’ He keeps his gaze on his lover’s figure for a little longer before shrugging his shoulders and returning to his crime story.

Another sigh leaves the Brit’s mouth before giving in to the temptation, pushing himself up a little to crawl to Oscar’s side. He places his chin on the other’s chest, staring at his pretty face and silently counting the moles that cover his skin. He sneakily runs his hand over the bumps and ridges on his upper body, accidentally hitting the underside of the book Oscar is holding. A sly grin spreads over his features as he gently grabs the side of his neck and waits patiently for his boyfriend to finally spare him a glance. Oscar, as always, is as cool as a cucumber, making no effort whatsoever to turn his head towards Lando. Secretly, Oscar is at least a little curious as to how impatient and bratty he might become when he doesn’t get what he wants. Lando lets out another sigh, kicking his feet like a little kid before snuggling closer to the Australian. He hugs his leg around his tiny waist, just above his crotch to tease him slightly, positioning his thigh with purpose, dangerously close to the other man’s dick. Oscar has to bite into his lips to refrain from chuckling at how cute Lando is when he’s restless like this. Lando angles his head a little higher, every breath he takes hitting the younger’s neck, forming goosebumps across the pale skin.

‘How are you so warm?’ He murmurs into his neck, letting his body fully relax by his boyfriend’s warmth.

‘How are you so cold? You have to be wearing two layers of clothes, if not more.’ Nothing can swipe off his smug, lopsided grin as he looks down to take in the sight of Lando in his green hoodie. He places his unoccupied arm around his smaller frame, drawing him closer.

‘I dunno. I might be sick.’ He shoves his face closer to Oscar’s neck, leaving small kisses on exposed skin, his longer hair gently tickling the side of his face. ‘And the fact that you keep ignoring me doesn’t help me feel any better.’ His neediness knows no limits, always wants to be close to the Aussie, being loved and cherished by the younger man. Oscar’s breath speeds up a little as he relaxes into Lando’s kisses and caresses.

‘I started this book five minutes ago, stop being a drama queen.’ He rolls his eyes at the ridiculous accusation and, just to annoy Lando even more, never puts down the book to give him his full attention. ‘You should find something to entertain yourself with while I’m busy reading.’

‘Does your dick count?’ He whispers into his neck and continues peppering his skin with sloppy pecks. Oscar let out a disapproving grunt as he combs his fingers through Lando’s soft curls, slightly yanking on them to stop the sweet torture on his sensitive skin. ‘Guess it’s a no, or you want my mouth somewhere else too?’ He looks up at him, innocently blinking his lust-filled eyes.

His boyfriend’s soft brown eyes sparkle with mischief before he shakes his head to the suggestion.

‘Yeah, okay. A definite no, got it.’ His disappointment swipes the smile off, his usually cheerful expression turns sulky. A pout appears on his lips, big greenish eyes staring back at him with pleading.

‘You can get a kiss.’ Lando immediately lights up, ogling Oscar’s perfectly pink lips with hungry eyes. ‘But only, if you promise me, you’ll leave me alone for an hour after.’ That’s a way to ruin the mood yet again.

‘Or we can make out while you show me how much you love me.’ He tries his best to negotiate on the terms to favour and satisfy his desires.

‘Or I refuse to give you any, and let you suffer and beg for it.’ One perfectly shaped eyebrow raises as Lando’s frown deepens, defeat clouding his expression.

‘Okay, okay. One kiss only. As you wish. I can’t and won’t argue with a man who has big brown eyes.’

Oscar puts his book face down next to him on the bed and immediately reaches for Lando’s cheek. He trails his thumb over his cheekbone, back and forth, the top of his fingers touching the side of his neck making him whimper. His other hand is still buried between the curls, gently holding his head closer to his own. Lando can’t wait any longer to taste him, jolting his head forward to connect their lips in a desperate, needy kiss.

Oscar hums in satisfaction, dragging Lando’s body closer to his and angling his own to be face to face, laying on their sides.

His hand snakes down Lando’s side to grab his thigh and pushes their crotch together, earning a needy moan from the curly-haired Brit. Their mouths move in sync, with and against each other, licking, biting, but not deepening the kiss. Lando furiously claws his fingers into Oscar’s hair, tugging on his light brown locks to make him gasp a little, thus opening his mouth enough to slip his tongue in. Oscar knows him too well to give him what he wants, instead biting into Lando’s bottom lip, hard enough to make his hips buck forward right into his.

The friction is unbearable, as their half-hard dicks slide against each other, forcing them to moan out in unison. That’s the moment Lando was waiting for, to slide his tongue into Oscar’s warm wet mouth, searching for his. The Aussie is smart enough to know when to stop if he wants a chill night without letting Lando get carried away. He breaks the kiss but doesn’t let go of Lando, staying close to him, all the while panting rapidly.

Lando slowly opens his eyes to look into his, still filled with lust, demanding to continue. He thrusts his hips forward, hunting for just a little more contact. His boyfriend has other plans though, he pushes his body away to get back to his previous position and laying on his back again. He picks up the book, smoothing the crumpled pages and calmly starts reading like nothing happened. Only the visible bulge at the front of his shorts suggests otherwise.

‘OSCAAAAAR!’ Lando hits his flat stomach grumbling, drawing a deep chuckle out of the younger. He doesn’t hesitate to side-hug Oscar once again, just like before, throwing his leg over his waist, teasingly pressing down on his member to spite him. It makes him whimper, digging his nails into Lando’s muscular thigh to pull it up and end the torture.

‘I reckon nagging me is your way of showing affection…’ A smile sits on his now-swollen lips as he massages Lando’s scalp.

‘Is it a crime that I’d like my lovely, cuddly boyfriend to focus on me and only me? If yes, then sue me.’ He speaks into his neck, kissing one of the moles that decorates his skin. He grazes his teeth over the beauty mark before sinking them into the milky white surface. Oscar throws his head back, allowing Lando more access to abuse the sensitive area.

‘Didn’t we agree that you’d let me be for an hour in exchange for a kiss?’ He straightens his shaky voice, but quickly gets overwhelmed by Lando’s movement. Lips, hands, legs roam all over his body, sliding under his T-shirt, pushing up his tiny shorts to expose more skin.

‘Hm… did we? Sadly, I have the memory of a goldfish.’ He flicks his tongue over the bite he left on his boyfriend’s thick neck just seconds ago to ease the burning sensation. Oscar can’t control his instinct any more, pleasure traveling through his body, setting his senses alight.

Lando knows exactly what he is doing to him, and, because he’s a brat, he doesn’t stop urging him on to lose his cool. He pushes his hardening dick into the side of his delicious thigh, humping it with measured motions for more friction and luscious fulfillment. Eventually, he climbs into his lap, straddling his thighs, and smacks the book from his hand. Oscar doesn’t care anymore - his senses are on edge and only focused on the beautiful man on top of him. A groan leaves his mouth in near-agony, pulling Lando’s body completely onto his and flipping them both over forcefully. He positions himself between Lando’s spreading legs, frantically attacking his mouth to stop Lando from barking out a snarky comment.

He knows he can’t resist the needy man under him. Lando always gets his way no matter what, and who is he to deny him anything when he asks so nicely? Oscar will always make him beg for more.

[romiantic]

GLOSSY

GLOSSY, which lip gloss flavor the jjk boys love on you

→ INCLUDING gojo, yuji, yuta

→ READING: gn!reader

→ GENRE + WARNINGS: fluff + every boy is a pouter and loves y/n’s lips too much for their liking

→ A/N: for reference, I’m talking about the broadway lip gloss aka the beauty supply lip gloss thats like a dollar

𖦹 ₊˚. SATORU GOJO → ANY AND EVERYTHING

— okay so, we all know gojo is a man who favors basically everything about women, especially his. so does he have a specific scent that he prefers on you? absolutely not

— as long as his lips are pressed on yours, he is absolutely okay with any lip gloss flavor you wear. but he does have a favorite and it always is something sweet like strawberries or the rosehip oil. like the minute he kisses your lips and it tastes like the rosehip oil? oh he is not leaving you for hours, he is staying on those lips until all of it is licked off. sorry not sorry <3

— gojo usually favors the lip gloss that's wrapped in pink packaging cause he truly believes that they’re gonna be sweet. shit, he might even buy some for himself cause he reallyyyy loves how shiny and thick they make your lips look. he’ll even take pictures of him wearing your lip gloss and send it to you with no shame

— as much as he loves seeing you apply lip gloss to your lips, he is way too quick to wipe it all off and he’s not ashamed of it. to this white-haired man, your lips look too pretty to stand there untouched by his lips to be exact. so don’t be surprised when he finds any ridiculous excuse in the book to kiss you

— he’ll say “oh y/n, you have something on your lips” “y/n you smell good, come here” “I literally haven’t kissed you in 2 hours, I think I’m gonna die”. also, please don’t reject his kisses cause he will get pouty and dramatic, I mean whining for two hours straight because you won’t kiss him

𖦹 ₊˚. YUTA OKKOTSU → COCONUT OIL

— yuta usually isn’t picky with what flavor you wear, since it is you wearing it and not him. but he favors the coconut oil and always hopes you pick out the brown-colored lip gloss whenever you’re getting ready

— if you’re not around, or he’s off to missions, he’ll usually ask for pictures of you of course.you send him selfies and pictures of your jujutsu outfit with other accessories, he usually replies with compliments and some emojis. sometimes he’ll send some interesting compliments but he’ll immediately blame it on gojo and say that wasn’t him

— now on the phone, it seems like a cute gesture but on the outside, his cheeks are tainted such a deep red, you can’t tell if he’s embarrassed that he’s down bad

— yuta isn’t always in the mood for pda so he’s not a big kisser but he does take a lot of glances at your lips. he does restrain himself from grabbing your face and he actually has pretty great restraint, until you move closer to hold his hand and give him a quick peck on the corner of his lips

— sometimes you’ll tease yuta to see how flustered he’ll get cause you know he’s staring at your lips. but he can’t help when your lips have that familiar of coconut oil and please don’t have lip liner on either, he will lose it. just like his annoying family member, gojo, he will find every excuse to kiss you but he’ll add a little pout to it

— as much as you tell him no, he’ll still try to kiss you. he’ll tell you that it’s only a quick peck, or even just a kiss on cheek, he just wanna feel your lips somewhere on him. even after you give him a kiss, he’ll ask you for more and stay on you until you give one more…and another…and another, there’s no stopping to this at this point

𖦹 ₊˚. YUJI ITADORI → MANGO BUTTER

— yuji would definitely be into more fruity scents like strawberry, mango, cherry, all of that. but mango? his absolute favorite on you, he will kiss that flavor off of you from sun up to sun down. he’ll take breaks during training to kiss you, purposely sit in front of you to give you a peck, try everything under the sun to have your lips on his

— now, this boy have no shame on staring at your lips. he will even tell you himself that he’s not paying attention to anything but your lips all glossed and sitting pretty. he’s tempted to kiss them but for the sake of you, he won’t…sometimes (blame sukuna)

— granted, he will respect your space and not kiss if you’re not in the mood for some kisses. he’ll search your face and body language to indicate your mood

— but if you are in the mood, yuji isn’t leaving your side until megumi drags him to his room. usually he’ll say “one more” and it never is one more until its nine pm and he skipped dinner

— yuji doesn’t mind wearing your lip gloss on his face either, actually it makes him quite elated when his face is sticky and shiny from your gloss. you would offer to wipe it off but that youthful smile on his face is definitely saying no

— yuji’s another pouter, sigh. but he might be worse than the other two combined, like down bad when you reject his kisses. his face gives a gloomy look for the entire time, you would think there’s a rain cloud pouring on him like on cartoons. he’s keeping that look until you give in and give him a quick peck and instantly is back to his normal self

⭑ mia back on her jjk grind ??? we’ll shall see

⭑ was gojo’s self indulgent…maybe. can you blame me 🤭?

⭑ lemme know which one was yall fave !

JUJUTSU KAISEN MASTERLIST + MAIN MASTERLIST

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟥 𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗂𝖺𝗇𝗍𝗂𝖼. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[fantasybooktournament]

Book Reveals for Round 1 of Mystery Book Tournament

titles and descriptions under the cut

The One with The Obnoxious Legal System is A Conspiracy of Truths by Alexandra Rowland

The world's most obnoxious old man has been arrested for charges of witchcraft by the world's most obnoxious legal system. The story follows him utilizing every tool at his disposal to escape death including his fruity apprentice, his ever-tired lawyer, and most of all stories. Half of this book is the old man telling a story to someone he is either trying to sway, trick, or simply entertain.

The One with the Rightful Heir is Magyk by Angie Sage

A child soldier nearly freezes to death and so must join the escape of the rightful heir, a powerful wizard, and the rightful heir's bumbling dad, brother and dog.

The One with No Indoor Plumbing is In Other Lands by Sarah Rees Brennan

Have you ever thought ‘hey going to a magical fantasy land might suck a little’? Our intrepid hero has been invited to a school for future heroes in a land of elves and trolls, harpies and mermaids…and there’s no indoor plumbing. Also they’re training children as warriors and have little to no respect for diplomacy.

The One with Vampires and Farms is The Queen of Darkness by Miguel Connor

In the far-flung future, the earth is irradiated and vampires rule the world. Humans are kept in farms, and our protagonist is sent to one to learn about an illness that is appearing in the humans which can infect and kill vampires. There he learns about the human cult, and gets told by them that vampires were once human.

The One with Possessed Nuns is Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson

A young nun in fantasy-France lets a powerful revenant take possession of her body in order to protect her monastery from possessed soldiers. No one believes she can possibly control the evil creature, but as she uncovers a sinister plot at the very heart of her country, she finds herself growing closer to the revenant by the day.

The One that Becomes Queernormative is A Strange and Stubborn Endurance by Foz Meadows

Protagonist starts off in a queer phobic society and is bound to marry a girl from the neighboring kingdom against his wishes, being gay. When his sexuality is dramatically revealed after he's being assaulted, the political bets seem off, but the other kingdom is queernormative and instead offers to marry him to his bride's brother instead.

The One with Sisters and Unsuitable Men is An Earthly Knight by Janet McNaughto

The main character's older sister has run away with an unsuitable man so it's up to her to marry a suitable one. But as she worries for her sister and hopes to find her, she encounters a strange man, rumored to have been kidnapped by the fae.

The One with the Magic Italian Notebook is City of Masks by Mary Hoffman

The main character, a young boy, is seriously ill but his life is transformed when an old Italian notebook gives him the power to become a stravagante, a time traveler with access to 16th century Italy. He wakes up in another time and place during carnival time and meets a girl his own age who is disguised as a boy in the hope of being selected as one of the Duchessa's mandoliers. Political intrigue ensues.

The One with the War Against Colonizers is Fire Logic by Laurie J Marks

The last living member of a border tribe, a deadly philosopher-soldier, a truth-seer, a gentle man, and a man who can see the future form a beautifully queer family around a drug-addicted blacksmith who holds the power of the land itself so that she can end the war against colonizers that has continued for 30 years

The One with the Healer's Quest is Dreamer's Pool by Juliet Marillier

The first in a mystery fantasy trilogy about a wrongfully imprisoned healer and her quiet but strong prison friend who get busted out of prison by an otherworld being. In exchange, for seven years she must endeavor to help anyone who asks for it. A gentle local prince has fallen for his fiance through their sweet and poetic correspondence but is shocked by her cruelty when she arrives, can the healer discovers what has happened and help solve his problem?

The One with Imaginary Friends is Hexwood by Diana Wynne Jones

A pre-teen girl who relies heavily on the advice of her four imaginary friends goes into the local patch of woodlands one day and discovers it's much bigger on the inside. There, she meets a depressed sorcerer/assassin who makes a child out of her blood and his to fight against his enemies on another planet. Meanwhile, someone on Earth has started up a machine that's said to be able to make dreams come true, and this is a big problem for the evil interstellar megacorp that's been dumping prisoners on Earth and stealing their flint.

The One with a Time-Traveling Dragon/Furnace is If That Breathes Fire, We're Toast! by Jennifer J. Stewart

A boy moves with his mom to a new place where he meets a girl and a time-traveling dragon/furnace who teaches him about himself.

The One with the Multiverse is Nine Princes in Amber by Roger Zelazny

An amnesiac man finds himself embroiled in deadly political scheming, thrust into a strange multiverse in the hope of trying to claim from out under his various rival siblings feet the throne to the city at the center of reality.

The One with Mage Trials is Spellslinger by Sebastian de Castell

In a magical society one must complete their mages trials by 16, or else become a slave to that society for the rest of their life. The main character is a 15-year-old boy who has one last chance to complete his trials. Only, his magic is gone. With his fate looming, he meets a mysterious traveling stranger who shows him a different path than the one that has been laid out for him by his people.

The One with the Loser Noble Scholar is Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner

Loser noble scholar shacks up with the best swordsman of the city and makes him fight a bunch of duels mostly out of boredom but also a bit because of politics. Feels slice of life ish though there are stakes

The One with the Nonbinary Cleric is The Empress of Salt and Fortune by Nghi Vo

In this novella set in an imperial Chinese inspired fantasy world, a nonbinary cleric investigates the story of an empress and her ...controversial rise to the throne, as told by an elderly handmaiden who knew her.

The One with Geese is Thorn by Intisar Khanani

Between her cruel family and the contempt she faces at court, the Princess has always longed to escape the confines of her royal life. But when she’s betrothed to the powerful prince, the princess embarks on a journey to his land with little hope for a better future. When a mysterious and terrifying sorceress robs the princess of both her identity and her role as princess, the girl seizes the opportunity to start a new life for herself as a goose girl.

The One with the Teenage Witch Coven is The Scapegracers by H. A. Clarke

Lesbian teenage witch accidentally becomes adopted by popular girls. They form a coven and vow to get revenge on those who have been wronged. Chaos ensues.

The One with the Angel and the Demon is When the Angels Left the Old Country by Sacha Lamb

A demon and an angel decide to go to de goldene medina to search for a girl they know who's disappeared on the way over.

The One with an Unsettling Future is Zel by Donna Jo Napoli

High in the mountains, a young girl lives with her mother, who insists they have all they need -- for they have each other. The girl's life is peaceful and protected -- until a chance encounter changes everything. When she meets a beautiful young prince at the market one day, she is profoundly moved by new emotions. But the girl's mother sees the future unfolding -- and she will do the unspeakable to prevent her daughter from leaving her...

The One with the Bioweapon is Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White

It's post an apocalypse, that was started by a cult, that twists people into horrible body horror monsters. A trans boy raised in the cult is infected with a bioweapon by them and shortly after escapes. He joins a group of queer teens where he finds friends a community, and he bands together with them to take down the cult.

The One with Arabian Nights AND Hades & Persephone is Keturah and Lord Death by Martine Leavitt

Arabian Nights + Hades and Persephone! A mysterious danger plagues an unexpected kingly visit, and a young woman embarks on a quest to find her one true love before all is lost...

The One with the Lion is Sarah's Lion by Margaret Greaves

A princess longs to travel so is locked in her room. A lion comes to her. Eventually, she has to choose whether she will stay or go.

The One with the War Veteran is The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold

War veteran with chronic pain contracted by a goddess to save her chosen queen

[gretavanlace]

The Emperor’s New Clothes

Jake Kiszka x reader

18+ only! Minors do not interact!

Warnings: graphic sexual content, language, alcohol consumption, flirting, light impact play, dirty talk, oral (fem rec), etc

Inspired by this gorgeous little bit and this one, too. You’re all evil geniuses ❤️💋

“Seriously, what is wrong with you three?” Danny grabs the pool stick out of Sam’s hand and shoves him aside. “Is being a shitty pool player a prerequisite for being a Kiszka?”

“In fact, it is!” Josh sounds off, leaning against the table, finger idly dragging over the kelly green felt. “They pull us all aside in the hospital directly after birth, and say…hmm, I’ve forgotten, it seems. Samuel?”

Sammy takes a long chug of his fruity pink drink around a nod. “They say,” he gestures grandly, so much like his eldest sibling at the moment. “Be as useless as possible if you ever get your hands on a pool stick. Fuck every play up royally, for this…this is your duty. It’s all very dramatic.”

“Ah yes,” Josh raises his glass in thanks. “That’s it, little brother. Good man, better memory.”

“Idiots.” Danny shakes his head, and sinks three striped balls before scratching and turning in your direction. “Jake, you’re up.”

Jake rises from his stool beside you where he’s been watching the scene unfold with a gentle hand on your bare thigh.

“My time to shine, kitty cat.” He plunks his neat whiskey down and swaggers away, calling over his shoulder. “Prepare to witness mediocrity at its finest.”

“Mediocre would be a compliment.” Danny adds with another shake of his head that sends his mane of curls swaying.

“Hey,” Jake points a lazy finger at him, “you chose me as your partner.”

“Only because the other two are even worse, somehow.”

He sounds baffled by it, and you suppose that makes sense. Normally, the brothers Kiszka float through life with seemingly endless layers of talent. It’s more than fun for the both of you — strangers to such endless grace — to witness their struggle.

Danny hurries to your side, so that you might enjoy the moment together, falling into you as you both dissolve into a fit of half-drunken laughter when Jake flawlessly (and accidentally) sinks the 8 ball.

“Tired of this, is all.” He shrugs, lying his ass off. “We never do anything real. Let’s do something real.”

“I’m real,” You taunt jokingly after a swig of the whiskey he’s left you in charge of, “you could do me.”

“Don’t be cheeky.” He scolds half-heartedly, with a wavering point your way.

“I love it when you talk ‘shitty british accent to’ me, jakey.” You wink with another pull on his glass, draining it to the dredges.

Daniel tries an accent of his own on for size, mimicking his band mate. “Name’s Jacob, love.” He reaches forward to kiss your hand, and you allow it with a giggle and a blush Jake pretends not to see. “I’m terrible at pool…and that’s not the only stick I don’t know how to wield.”

The brothers erupt into laughter as you roll your eyes affectionately.

“Laugh it up, pricks.” Jake sounds unbothered in the sexiest way…it takes a bulldozer to get under his skin.

“Aw, that’s alright, you gorgeous thing, you,” Josh allows his stare to fall dark upon you after a conspiratorial wink. “If my perpetually stupid twin wants to waste opportunities, I’ll allow it and take care of you myself.”

“Sounds perfect, josh…” you lend a breathy tone to your words. “Upstairs in your room or right here on the pool table?”

He pretends to think it over, “I’d say table, but look at all the balls left on the felt. That doesn’t exactly scream comfort. If only Jake could actually sink one or two.”

“Yeah,” you nod with a solemn sigh, “such a shame. Upstairs then.”

“Me?” Jake sloshes more whiskey into his glass and slides it away from you while miming a kiss so you’ll know he realizes this is all in good fun. “You didn’t land a single fuckin’ ball, Josh. Why do you even have this?” He raps his knuckles quickly against the shiny wood framing the table.

“I happen to enjoy telling people I have a billiard room.” Josh smooths his shirt flippantly. “It makes me sound refined.”

“Yeah,” Sammy speaks up from the bar where he is chaotically preparing himself a refill. “Break out the brandy and Tchaikovsky, already. I’m not feeling cultured enough.”

“It makes you sound stupid, because this isn’t even a billiard table.” Jake points out. “Totally different game.”

In reply, Josh sends a square of chalk sailing through the air directly at his head. His twin ducks at the last minute, avoiding impact. “You’re just mad because your girl wants me to take her upstairs.”

“Is that true, kitty cat?” His stare lands on you with mischief glittering there. “You wanna go upstairs with the sun, or stay down here in the darkness where you like it best?”

He saunters forward and pulls you in close, lips soft against your pulse point…but for a split second, you can’t help the way your line of sight lingers, locked with Josh’s.

Jake’s knee slides between your thighs, just high enough to be a little inappropriate. He’s claiming you. Reminding the room to whom you belong, though it isn’t necessary…the whole world can see you’re his.

It’s all right there in the way you look at him. In the way you move with him like a devoted magnet. In the way your body comes alive with electric love when he walks into a room.

Yes, you’re his. Implicitly. But sometimes…..

Shoving the thought away, you push him aside as well, with an embarrassed swat. “Quit it.”

“See?” Josh teases, never one to shy away from giving his brother hell. “She’s ready for the superior twin. Aren’t you, pretty?”

He sends another wink flying in your direction. “And who could blame her? She’s seen me in a jumpsuit or two.”

“Here we fucking go.” Sam groans loudly. “If you’re going to start in on a big dick monologue, I’m calling an Uber.”

“I’ll split it with you.” Danny concurs.

“Ah, fuck off,” Josh waves a hand in the air wildly, dismissing them both “jealous bastards.”

He moves to grab his drink, drifting through the room with that careless elegance that follows him around like a shadow, and you find yourself unable to look away the way you sometimes fall victim to when he’s owning one stage or another.

At times, Josh is like a song you can’t get out of your head. You don’t want to sing it, you don’t want to listen, but there it is all the same…dominating your attention.

You shake it off, but when your eyes reluctantly abandon him, you find Jake’s gaze, narrowed and knowing, tracking and all seeing. It burns into you, lighting a tortuous flame of shame, and something else, within you.

It’s an unsteady feeling. Unsure. Mostly because you can feel emotion radiating off of him like wandering hands reaching out to stroke over your skin. He’s live-wire-alert, thrumming with galvanic energy, but he isn’t angry. Far from it.

It’s analytical, this look he has fixed upon you. It’s hot, there’s no questioning that…but it also boasts a peculiarity. He’s honed in on something you’ve tried very hard to keep hidden, and he doesn’t necessarily hate it.

Brushing away what can only be labeled as intrusive thoughts - he can’t have seen through you that easily - you watch as Dan and Sam begin a game of darts, squabbling over who should throw first.

The night drifts by languidly, becoming a little fuzzier and more dream-like with each trip to the bar to top up.

Jake has disappeared, but that’s nothing new. He tends to wander when inebriated. Likes the quiet. You’ll catch up with him sooner or later. Or perhaps you’ll find him curled up in the guest room that has been unceremoniously reserved for the two of you each time Josh hosts.

You’ve fought it as long as you can, ignoring the nagging ache in your bladder, unwilling to readily ‘break the seal’ that will render you popping off to the bathroom every ten minutes.

Josh is contemplating a song that has been trekking about in his mind, remaining hidden away despite begging to be written.

You nod sympathetically, offering up a squeeze of his hand in solidarity. “Hold that thought,” you smile, tripping on your slurred words so mildly no one but yourself would ever notice. “Off to the ladies room.”

“The ladies room?” He laughs, trotting out that barking belly laugh that is nothing short of infectious. “You make my home sound like an Applebees.”

“Applebees?” You hear Sam pipe up as you ascend the basement stairs “Are you ordering? ‘Cause they’ve got that queso I like.”

Danny’s reply comes muffled as you slip onto the main floor. “Applebees is fuckin’ disgusting, and anyway…”

Hands washed, and a smudge of eyeliner wiped away, you emerge from the bathroom, ready to rejoin the party when a hand slithers out in the dark, quick as a striking snake, to pull you into the spare bedroom.

“Hello, kitty cat.” Jake’s voice comes smoothly in the dark.

“Jake,” you’re working hard to quiet your hammering heart as your eyes fight to adjust in the darkness. “You scared the shit out of me.”

“I’d tell you I’m sorry, but I’m not.” You can nearly hear the smirk in his tone.

“Have you been hiding up here all this time?” You ask, as he holds tight to your hands, barring you from actually being able to touch him.

“Yes. Kept myself busy by going through my brother’s things.” He whispers, licking a soft trail along the side of your pinky. “Did you know he owns a vibrator? Wonder what he uses that for?”

“Probably the same thing you use mine for.” You breathe back in the pitch black of the room, picturing the way he sometimes holds it against his cock for you when you feel like watching. “Stop teasing your poor twin. And you shouldn’t go through other people’s things, Jacob. Naughty.”

“Oh? Shouldn’t I?” His lips skate across your own as he leans in. “I wouldn’t have found this if I hadn’t.”

He has timed his moment perfectly, and as the light flips on, the ability to form truly coherent thoughts becomes unattainable.

A completely self-assured expression warms his features as you stare on with parted lips and softly panting breaths.

Josh’s jumpsuit, stark white and swimming with mermaids and winking glitter, hugs his body like a second skin. It renders the tan of his complexion even more pronounced, leaving him standing before you like a sun-kissed god.

His hair is pulled back in a loose, low slung bun. It’s lazy and effortless. Obviously not executed before a mirror, and that makes it all the more right.

“Fuck, I…” you falter, unable to find the words for your thoughts. Probably for the best, lest you come off as some fucked out ninny in a poorly scripted porno.

“Will this do?” He bites down on his lip, hiding away a flash of insecurity that you spot anyway. It’s gone as fast as it came. Replaced quickly by that cocky smirk that makes your cunt ache for his touch. “Or should I go and gather my brother?”

“Jake…”

Your eyes are fixed on his cock, half-hard and deliciously on display behind the suit. So very much like his twin.

“What?” He yanks you in close and ghosts his mouth up along your pounding jugular until his lips are pressed against the shell of your ear. “I see the way you watch him sometimes. You look so pretty when you stare. Do you want to fuck him? Because you can. If you want him that badly, that is. You can have him.“

A moan in the negative is all you can hope for in the moment.

“No?” He’s got you up against the door now, grinding his fully hard cock against your clit, inching his fingertips up along the outsides of your thighs, higher and higher under your skirt. “You’ll settle for me, dressed up in the emperor’s clothes?”

“You’re the fucking emperor.” You correct, burying your hands in his hair, further loosening his haphazard bun. “I just like to think about it now and then.”

Oh, where did that little bit of honesty come from? Some things are better left unsaid.

“You like to think about fucking my brothers?” He couldn’t be further from angry if he tried. You can hear it. Territorial, perhaps…but that will do perfectly.

“Never said brothers,” you gasp, clinging to his bare shoulders for dear life when his fingers curl into the sides of your panties. “Just Josh.”

“Why?” He’s beginning to shine with sweat and need.

“I like his mouth…oh, fuck…” you whine when he slips your underwear down, mid-thigh. “It’s pretty. And the way he moves his tongue sometimes…”

“Alright, shut up…” he lands a harsh crack of a smack against your swollen clit. “That’s enough.”

“Jealous?” You smile, taunting him just a little before leaning in to dip your tongue into his warm mouth. He tastes of liquor, and cinnamon, and Jake.

“Maybe.” He smiles into your kiss.

“You’ve given me permission to fuck him, but you can’t handle listening to me talk about it?” You’re taunting him mercilessly, but he loves it and you both know it.

“Maybe you’re just needy.” He teases right back, easing two fingers snug into your warmth without warning. “Yeah? Maybe you’re just feeling slutty because you need to cum. Is that it, baby? Do I need to pet my pretty kitty cat a little?”

“Please…” you’re begging, and much too loudly given that there’s an audience one floor below, but you can’t find a fuck to give.

“Mouth or cock?” He curls into you, pressing perfectly inside your silken walls as you arch away from the door.

“Mouth.” You whimper, sounding as pathetic as you feel in your desperation.

It’s the correct answer. Had you said cock, he’d have worked himself into a frenzy thinking about the way you spoke of Josh’s mouth but didn’t ask for his.

He drops to his knees, without a word, eyes on yours until he disappears beneath your skirt, beautiful features now cloaked and hidden away.

You blush under the scrutiny of no one in the empty room when you hear him draw in a deep, lingering, lungful of you with his mouth on your dampened thighs.

“Pink and pretty,” his voice rasps from between your legs. “She’s just a little messy right now. Don’t worry, kitty cat…I’m gonna kiss her all better.”

A feral sound chokes out of you as you yank his face in close, burying him in your cunt.

At first, he’s louder than you are. Murmuring hungry little grunts and moans against your slick skin…sucking at you ravenously until the room is stifled up, full and hot, with the wet sounds of your cunt and his mouth.

Soon, though, you grow hotter, and lose yourself little by little, fucking against his face as he loves on your clit obscenely. Lapping at it, nibbling delicately, drawing it into his kiss tenderly as his fingers delve deeper inside.

He fucks you slowly, nudging you along as you whine and beg above him.

“Shh…” he warns around your pulsing bundle of nerves. “Or do you want him to hear you?”

“Only you.” You promise, rocking your hips frantically to meet him. “It’s all for you. Don’t stop.”

“Not gonna stop.” He swears, licking away at you like the sweetest lollipop is playing over his tongue.

It’s intrusive and definitely not called upon, but when the picture begins to tumble about in your mind on loop— both of them nestled between your legs at once with those gorgeous mouths of theirs, you’re cumming hard and fast…pouring over his fingers, likely ruining the front of a jumpsuit neither of you can claim ownership of.

Its blissful and for a moment, your soul is robbed from it’s earthly confines, spending a suspended breath ruminating with the universe.

“God damn…” Jake’s winded response scratches out of him as he peeks out from under your skirt, eager to get a look at your flushed face.

He’s covered in you. Glistening and catching the light in your release. “You came everywhere.”

His observation is beyond pleased, but when your eyes slide away, he presses you for answers while still on his knees. “What? Tell me.”

“It’s nothing.” You smile, stroking a bead of sweat away from his temple.

“Liar.” He grins lazily, licking the taste of you off his plush lips. “Tell me what got you off so hard.”

It takes a massive amount of charm on his end, but eventually, you admit that you’d been thinking about them both.

The look in his eyes is nothing short of devious when he goes to speak, only to be quieted by a soft knock on the door.

Your eyes meet in panicked anticipation when a familiar voice breeches the wooden barrier. “It isn’t nice to talk about someone behind their back, you know?”

Taglist: @gretasintrees @greta-van-chaos @celestialfauna @s0livagant @groggyvanfleet @kiszkathecook @brokenbellz @llightmyllovee @doodle417 @seventieswhore @jake-kiszkas-smirk @weightofdreams-gvf @imdepressedaf1996 @greta-flanveet-admin @alisonwonderland29 @gretavanfleas @gretavangroove @sparrowofthedawn @xserenax-13 @tbagggvf @obetrolncocktails @tripthelightjaketastic @jakeslovehandles @poofyloofy @70sgroupielovr @heatmyfleet @age-of-nyahh @agirlwithmanytastes @sammiboo162 @spicedandicedtea @jakekiszkasleftnutsack @saoirsemaeve @mywickeddivinity @dvrkblooms @paintmyhouse @tripthelightfandomtastic @mckenna4 @tripthelight-fanfic @sarakay-gvf @theweightofjake @joshsmama @sammysvanfeet @rhythm-of-space @highladyofasgard @jordierama @calumspretty

[rybonucleic-ket]

jack sparrow x male reader

because pirates were historically renowned gays and there's not enough fruity captain jack sparrow out there and jack's fucking hot

Captain Jack Sparrow x M!Reader

fluffy smut (pretty neutral language for smut, can be read by both cis and trans guys)

I will never use the term y/n in any of my writing if I have any say in the matter.

NSFW, 18+, minors dni

~~~

It's not uncommon for you to wind up in the Captain's quarters as night sets in. In fact, it's become a nightly routine. No ladies on the ship, you figured, the man's gotta get release somewhere. You're just glad he chose you.

Jack pulls you into his arms as soon as you close the door, burying his face in your neck, breathing you in. "Hey, love," he murmurs into your skin.

"Evenin', captain," you whisper back.

He hums against your neck, pulling you impossibly closer, bringing you flush against his chest. Just holding you, savoring your presence. That made you feel things. Well, Jack Sparrow makes you feel a lot of things, but loving, domestic touching made you hopeful. Hope is a dangerous thing. You were so sure that you were purely for release, considering the lack of women. There was no way the Captain could feel any different, you were a man.

"I do wish you wouldn't do that, Captain."

"Do what, sweetheart?"

"Hold me like that. it's not entirely fair for you to get my hopes up."

Jack pulled back to look you in the eyes, confused, still holding you. "Love, what'd ya mean? get your hopes up for what?"

"I know you only want me for the lack of girls, 's not quite fair for you to hold me so. bit misleading."

Jack laughed softly. "Darling, what are you on about? I've never seen a lady as beautiful as you. Don't go talking like you're some sort of placeholder," Jack smirked. "And I'm fairly sure you're just as smitten for me."

You scoff in mock offense. "That's quite presumptuous of you, captain."

He laughs, "Oh, is it now?" He scoops you into his arms, carrying you to his bed. "Well, since you're so sure I'd never fancy a man, guess I've gotta show you otherwise, savvy?"

You hum in affirmation.

"What's that, love? can't hear you." His voice is low, bordering on a growl.

You sigh at him. "Well, yes, captain, I s'pose you ought."

To your surprise, he simply hums and snuggles up behind you, kissing the back of your neck.

That fucker. you desperately wanted to cherish your wholesome little moment with Jack, but he'd riled you up, and if the tightness of his pants and the very slight, barely noticable way he was trying to restrain himself from grinding into you was any indication, he was as well. Captain Jack Fucking Sparrow for ya. Insufferable. Incredibly hot. Unbearably loveable.

You press yourself back against him, clutching at his hands around your waist, biting back desperation. "Jack, please."

"Please what, pretty boy?" You can feel him grin against the back of your neck. Fucking prick.

"I want- I need you. please."

Jack sighs dramatically. "Well, y'know, I was planning on just holding you in the way that makes you feel special, but uh," his voice drops, "I'd probably give you anything if you asked like that so.." his breath was hot on the side if your neck. "By all means."

He'd flipped you over to have you on his lap faster than you could say 'savvy'. His hand made its way to the hair at the back of your neck, guiding your head to give him easier access to your mouth. He grinned against your lips at the noise you made when he tightened his grip on your hair, sucking your bottom lip into his mouth, dragging his teeth across the flesh. He kissed you hard, occasionally whispering your name into the kiss. You relished the groan you got from grinding down on his lap; from your current position, it was obvious he was just as turned on as you were, bucking his hips up slightly to meet yours.

"fuck, Jack-"

"'M here, love. How'd you wanna take me, hm?"

"Don't care, you choose, I just- I need-"

"Yeah, sweetheart, I've got you." He gripped the back of your thighs, tilting you down until your back met the bedsheets, legs still wrapped around his hips. He gently parted your legs, the two of you gradually undressing each other between kisses.

He let out a sigh of awe once you were fully undressed. "Fuck, look at you, darling. Beautiful." he planted kisses on every inch of skin he could access. "I've no clue how you'd think you're a stand-in for anyone, such a pretty boy. Absolutely perfect, love."

If you weren't so incredibly turned on, the whimper you let out would've been embarrassing.

Jack saw your desperation as you fisted the sheets, and after getting the go-ahead, he set to work stretching you, making sure it'd hurt as little as possible. You writhed, back arching off the bed, moans escaping you that you could only hope the sound of the sea would drown out. Desperate, you pushed yourself back on his fingers.

"'m ready, please just- fuck, please, Jack."

Jack grabbed the oil from his bedside table, and you thought you'd never seen him lube up so fast

"oh fuck, Jack, please-"

He leans over you, tip pressed against your hole. "Please what, sweetheart?"

"please fuck me already, god-"

Jack smirks as he slides into you. "All you ever gotta do is ask, savvy?"

But the only noise you were producing were moans, strings of curses, and breathless calling of Jack's name.

As he picks up his pace, he practically growls in your ear, "Some day, I'll fuck you like this against the wheel of the Pearl. watch your back arch off the wood, into me." Jack brushes your hair out of your face. "Gonna love you so good."

As his thrusts grow more sporadic, Jack moans out a breathless "I love you." and that's what sends you over the edge. your vision goes white, your toes curl, your nails dig into Jack's shoulder blades as he spills inside you.

You're left shaking in Jack's arms, him running his hands through your hair, telling you how good you were for him. And that's how you drift to sleep, tangled with Captain Jack Sparrow, feeling more loved than you ever have before.

(it's on ao3)

[strangersmunsons]

Eddie's making a pie for Thanksgiving. he's trying his best. eddie munson x gn!reader, ~1000 words

“Are you sure you can handle this?”

“Oh, c’mon.”

“Eddie…”

“Yes! You got nothin’ to worry about, sweetheart.”

Even he knows he doesn’t sound very convincing. He scans the array of ingredients laid out on the kitchen table — flour, sugars, assorted fruits, butter, et cetera — and winces. 

You make a funny noise, something between a sigh and a chuckle. “I told you I can do it when I get home. Really, I don’t mind.” 

Luck would have it that Eddie gets the day before Thanksgiving off instead of you.

You’ve always been responsible for bringing dessert to the big holiday feast; you’re a pretty skilled baker and like to make a few different pies so everyone can have their favorite kind. But working until 5 o’clock in the evening the day before leaves you with a pretty limited window to finish them all, especially since you’ll be dog-tired from the long shift.

Which is why your sweet, woefully-inept boyfriend volunteered to start the process for you.

“I got it,” he tells you firmly. “Let me do at least one for you, okay? The fruit one. You said that one takes the longest, so I’ll get it out of the way.”

He can practically feel your hesitation. But after a long pause, you cede. 

“Alright. And remember I bought you pie crust so you won’t have to make one, okay? That’s half the battle, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“You don’t trust me to make pie crust from scratch?”

“Frankly, I don’t. I do love you, though.”

He smiles.

“I love you too.”

-

The kitchen looks a mess. The recipe emblazoned Triple Berry Pie is stained and wrinkled, and Eddie keeps squinting at one particular line of direction:

“Gently stir mixture until thickened, 2-5 minutes.”

It’s bordering on twenty minutes at this point and Eddie is still stirring a very watery, fruity soup on the stove. 

“Two to five minutes my ass,” he mutters, growing more annoyed by the second.

What is he doing wrong? He did what the recipe said to do. And he can’t lie, it smells pretty damn good, if he does say so himself. Warm sugar and a spritz of lemon juice coat the simmering berries and the scent has his mouth watering as he makes the would-be pie filling.

Would-be, if the cornstarch would do its damn job. 

He stirs faster, face scrunching in frustration as he whips the mixture around. 

A splash of liquid sloshes over the side, instantly sizzling as it makes contact with the hot burner. 

“Shit!”

He lets out a loud groan, and throws his head back dramatically. 

He glances at the phone hanging on the wall, wondering how bad of a boyfriend he’d be if he called you at work for help.

It’s tempting.

“It’s fine,” he says aloud to no one in particular, and grabs the box of cornstarch, shaking more of the powder into the saucepan without bothering to measure anything. He adjusts the heat and continues to stir for a few more minutes, all the while trying to resist the urge to lob the whole thing across the room. 

When it finally starts to thicken to a more jam-like consistency, Eddie almost cries in relief.

He immediately pours the filling into the ready-made Pillsbury shell — the “Allow filling to cool for 15 minutes” direction going completely over his head — and dumps a fistful of crumble topping over it. 

He feels like the proudest man on Earth when he finally snaps the oven door shut. 

He feels less proud when he takes it out some forty-odd minutes later, and sees the final product.

“Nooooo,” he whines, ovenmitt hands flying up in distress. 

He’s not too sure what happened, exactly, but it doesn’t look good — filling has leaked out all over the sides of the pie tin, blobs of congealed fruit completely obscuring the once-neatly crimped edges of the crust. He cringes when he sees that it’s dripped all the way to the bottom of the oven, leaving blackened puddles that are definitely gonna be a bitch to clean. And the ‘crumble’ on top? A pile of dust. Ashy. Unappetizing.

He heaves a shuddery sigh, brow furrowed in anguish. 

You’re gonna be so disappointed.

He thinks of Thanksgivings past where, if anything you made had even the tiniest flaw, you moaned in dismay, wanting your family and friends to have the very best you could give them. How gutted would you be when you came home and saw this abomination?

He doesn’t have to wait long to find out, apparently — he can hear the front door opening as his mind clouds with panic.

“Eddie?”

You pad into the kitchen, greeted by the sweet aroma of baked goods and the sight of your flustered boyfriend clutching an over-full pie between two flowery ovenmitts. He looks so distraught that you immediately become concerned, and close the distance separating you. 

“What’s wrong?” You stand behind him and wrap your arms around his waist. 

“I fucked it up,” he replies quietly. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, honey, it looks fine.” 

Maybe it's not the exact product you would have come out with, but it's not nearly as bad as he seems to think it is. You know he gave it his best shot, and you love him for it. 

You give him a squeeze. “There’s just too much filling, that’s all. When that happens and the oven’s really hot, then it can bubble over. It’ll still be delicious.”

“It looks like someone got cremated on top,” he complains. 

He’s not totally wrong. Even you’re not sure how he managed that.

“It’s fine,” you reassure him. “We’ll just…spread it around or, um, scoop some off. Sprinkle some sugar on it. Then it’ll be perfect.”

He sulks. “I’m sorry,” he repeats. 

There’s a pang in your heart. “Eddie. I know you’ve never baked in your life, so for you to do this for me was a huge help.” You press a kiss to the middle of his back. “I love you. It’s great.”

He softens a little. You teasingly pull on one of his curly tendrils. “Will you at least keep me company in the kitchen while I make the others? Or are you too traumatized to be in there?”

“No, of course I will. And I’ll help you.” He considers. “Although, I think you should probably take the lead,” he says sheepishly. 

“Sounds like a plan.”

-

happy thanksgiving to anyone who celebrates! and if u don't have a wonderful regular thursday anyway <3 i do make this pie every year, with this crumble, if anyone is interested :^)