An Incredible Poop
AU Where Mr. Incredible still works at an office and Dash is an adult. Bob comes home from work. Dash is on the couch watching TV.
Dash
Hiii dad, how was work
Bob
Hi Dash. Work... well, you remember my boss Mr. Huph? Always watching my every move to see if he can get me fired and my family goes poor? Yeah he's back at it again...
Dash
Uh Oh, well he's just an idiot so don't worry about him
Bob
That's always good advice. And by the way...No capes! You remember that?
Dash
Yes aunt edna called the other day
Bob
How is she doing? I still miss her all the time. She was like a second mother to me... and a great designer.
Dash
She's fine, she asked me to model for the new collection
Bob
Really? Man that would be great if you could do that. She made the best super suits. No one could make one like she did.
Dash
Omg do you know what happend at school today??
Bob
Tell me! I love it when you talk about your life. I'm sure nothing could compare to what I have to deal with at work. I'm sure nothing could surprise me...
Dash
At lunch today I saved another student from choking. Guess he couldn't wait to gobble up his pbj sandwich, he choked on it real bad.
Bob
Wow... I'm impressed. How did you help him? Did you perform the heimlich maneuver? I bet it was tense.
Dash
Well I sorta kicked his stomach. But it's the same result!
Bob
That’s amazing… I’m so proud of you right now! Just think, you saved that patient’s life! That’s incredible.
Dash
Thanks dad, I'm so glad to be super like you, you’re always a hero to me
Bob
You are my son. You make me so proud.
And remember, if something happens to me or Helen I want you to be brave, okay?
Dash
Nothings gonna happen to you and mom, right?
Bob
Of course not! Everything’s going to be just fine! But if anything… happens… just remember how much I love you. Okay?
Dash
I know that…Dad can I ask you something?
Bob
Of course you can. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you don’t have to tell me and I promise I won’t be mad… but go ahead, son. Ask me anything. Nothing is off the table in this household. No secrets.
Dash
Well, it's a little embarrassing…
Bob
Hey… nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m your dad. There’s nothing that you could say to make me think less of you… what’s on your mind, champ?
Dash
I've been having stomach problems lately and I wanted to ask if you could help me?
Bob
Stomach Problem? Like you’re not, uh… having an easy time going to the bathroom? Is that what you mean?
Dash
Yeah...my belly is just full with shit but I just can’t like get it out
Bob
Hmm. Okay, I got you. Are you drinking enough water? It might seem simple, but if you drink enough water and eat enough fiber it’ll be easier. But, if you’re really stopped up, I have a few tricks that might help clear your system out. But those might be a little gross for you, do you still want me to share?
Dash
Yeah dad I need to know
Bob
Okay, buddy. So drink a lot of water. That will help. In addition, eat beans with your dinner. And if all else fails, eat a handful of prunes. Prunes are gross and slimy, but they’re nature’s colon clean-out. They’ll make you poop to a point to where you might not even have to push. That should help get you going again…How was that? Too gross and TMI?
Dash
Huh, but I don’t really like prunes…What about those husk seed thingys? Aren't they like a natural laxative?
Bob
Ooh. You mean the psyllium husk things? Sure, they might help. But be careful, they really expand in your stomach. You’ll be taking a massive…you know.
Dash
Well dad, that’s the goal, taking a massive shit.
Bob
Right, I just wanted to make sure you knew what would happen. But if that’s the result you’re looking for, then give those a shot. They come in different flavors too, like apple & cinnamon…
Dash
How do you know all that, do you suffer from constipation
Bob
Sometimes! It can be a pain. And I know you’re probably not a fan of all the details, but you did say you wanted to know! Being a supers is fun but we’re prone to a pretty intense diet and the whole thing isn’t always friendly to my digestive tract.
Dash
Gotcha, but I don't think that it relates to my power. It feels like I shouldn't have eaten so many chilli dogs...stomach growl oww
Bob
Ha! I know all about the chili dog struggles. I’ve been there before.
They both walk toward the bathroom while Dash holds his stomach
Dash
Great then you’re a pro.
growl. Mom got me those husk pills, maybe they will help
Bob
I hope they work, your stomach sounds like its turning upside down
Dash
Yes I know dad, but this turd needs to come out first
Bob
Okay, Champ. Well do me a favor? When you… you know. When you’re done… can you give me a holler? I just want to make sure everything came out okay.
Bob stands in the doorway, trying to close the door to let Dash do his business until
Dash
Actually dad...can you stay and hold my hand? I’m kinda scared
Bob
Kiddo, are you kidding me? Of course. I’ll be right at your side.
You got this.
Bob is a little reluctant, but he wants to help his poor son and locks the door behind him
Dash
Thanks dad, ugh I think they’re working...my insides are moving
Bob
Keep pushing, son. You can do this.
Dash
You sure you won't mind dad?
Bob
Of course not. You are my son. What do you think I am, the poop policeman?
Dash plants his ass on the toilet, while Bob sits next to him on the bathtub rim
Dash
Ok here it...goes hnng
carl strains as he farts intensely, so far things seem normal to Bob
Bob
You okay, kid? Everything come out okay?
Dash
I- groan
Dash's stomach growls and a big load comes out, Dash grits his teeth and the bathroom starts to reek of foul shit
Bob
Holy mother. The smell is unbelievable… oh my God.
You okay, buddy? It was… that bad?
Dash
Yes it is, I didn’t mean to be so loud. Fuck, I’m sorry dad, theres no air freshner.
Bob
Don’t apologize, my son. I’m not angry. But, and this is something you need to hear, that was absolutely foul. Well, I think it’s best-
Dash
Growl OOH that wasn't all of it, here comes round...2...ahhh
Dash ejects a jet of diarrhea and grasps his dads hand for support while Bob can’t help but hold his nose with his other hand
Bob
Jesus H. Christ kiddo. I have no words… I’m not sure if I’m more impressed or more concerned right now.
Dash
Hehe I hope impressed dad...oh god, dad I need both of your hands to concentrate, another wave is coming in hot!
Bob
(Oh lord…)Alright, kid... I'm ready.
Dash
Phew ok, pushinggg
Dash pushes out more gas, vibrating the room. He starts sweating
Bob
Hang in there champ. It's gonna be a tough one.
Remember... you're the son of Mr. Incredible. You can do anything.
Dash
Thanks dad, you taught me how to shit big after all. I can still feel some in there, can you massage my belly to get it out? I feel like I’m seeing stars at the moment…
Bob
Alright buddy, you got it. Just be ready for a big one.
Bob starts massaging Dash's stomach resulting in
Dash
Thanks dad, your the best. Huh think that might've been a false alarm? Maybe it's got stagefright?
Bob
Could be. Or, in the words of your mother, you can't rush a good poop.
Maybe we just need to wait a few minutes? Let your body take its time. How does that sou-
Dash
OH HOLD ON HOLD ON!
Bob
It’s happening isn’t it? OH MY GOD!
Dash squeezes Bobs hands as he poops out the chunky remains of the chilli dogs, the toilet is filled to the brim with shit, Bob can't believe it, Dash exhales relaxed as he's finishing
Dash
…wow
Bob
That…That was one of the most intense poops on the planet. You okay champ?
Dash
I think so
Bob
I can’t even believe that just happened. That was the poop of legend. You filled the toilet all the way to the top?
Dash
Fuck I guess I did papa hahaha. This pile is huge!
Bob couldn’t help but look down to the bowl and it was true
Bob
That’s got to be the biggest poop I’ve ever seen. I bet you feel 10 pounds lighter now.
Dash
More like 50 pounds
Bob
Wow… that must have been one hell of a chili dog. I’m so proud of you for pushing through it. That was some next level super-pooping.
The young man leans back and tries to recover from the pushing
Dash
They really came for seconds. Do you think it'll flush?
Bob
I think you better grab a plunger. That thing isn’t going down without a fight, chuckles.
Dash
Ok, we'll i hope that's it for pooping
Bob
Yeah, I think you're done. You're completely empty. Well, I am very proud of you. You did it. That really was something.
Do you feel better now?
Dash
Yeah I definit- fart ahhh definitely feel better
Bob
Uh oh... you feel like you've got more?
Dash
Nono it's just leftover toxins, see?
Dash grins as Bob starts to get gassed up by his son
Bob
Oh for the love of all things good...Mm, that stinks. It's better out than in, right?
Dash
Well lets try flushing it
Bob
Okay, let's give it a shot. Flush away, son!
The toilet flushes but clogs halfway
Dash
hmm better than expected
Bob
I'll say! I thought for sure it would overflow.Do you have a plunger handy? Let's see what we can do about this...
Dash
Yeah just give it a minute
Dash starts wiping up his messy ass to Bobs disgust, bob sprays some air freshener as the toilet recovers
Bob
God, that smells awful... let's get all of that cleaned up. And make sure we open a window to let some fresh air in. I'm dying here.
But I’m impressed, that was quite an ordeal. I am glad that it's over, but I’m very proud of you.
Dash
Uhuh (Damn still dirty)
Bob
Dash, make sure to wash your hands…seriously. Did the toilet loosen up or do we need a plumber?
Dash
Hehe, guess I really gassed you up huh, it loosened up a little.
Bob
You sure did. Jesus christ this is going to be hard to get down. Damn, I can't even imagine what would happen if your mother came in here. Ha! If I didn’t have a super nose, I’d probably be throwing up right now. Holy smokes...I think "gassed up" is a bit of an understatement...
Bob leans against the wall, wiping the sweat off his face
Dash
Thank you for being here daddo, now let's try this again
Bob
No problem, son. You're my son. You can call me for anything.So what do you mean by we should "try this again?" Like you want to push for round two???
Dash
No dad, I meant try flushing again
Bob
Oh, of course. Yeah, let's give it another shot.
Bob flips the handle on the toilet to flush again
Come on, baby, come on... you can do it! Come on!
The toilet flushes more away but clogs again, they try the plunger but to no avail
Bob
Ugh…we can't get down this beast. This is unbelievable. What kind of chili dogs have you been eating? This thing is like a concrete block.
We may need to call a plumber at this point. This is quite the load.
Dash
I guess so, man…
Bob
I guess we're gonna need, like... some draino or something? I gotta admit... you are a poop-master. This thing is clogging even after flushing again and using the plunger.
Dash
Sorry dad. But calling a plumber would be really embarrassing. Maybe the drainio will do it?
Bob
Eh, I understand. But trust me. He’s seen way worse, I’m sure.
We can try that draino stuff first. And if that doesn’t work, we’ll call a plumber, okay? That okay with you?
Dash
Okay pops. Let's try the draino.
Bob gets the draino from the cabinet underneath the sink and opens the container, pouring around 1/3 of the bottle into the toilet
Bob
There you go, son. Give it five minutes and give it another shot.
I gotta tell you... I respect and fear your pooping power.
Dash
Maybe that's my secret second power. Don't you poop big dad? Your superpower is super strength after all?
Bob
Oh yeah, I've definitely had my shares of super poops, especially after a good meal out, or a really unhealthy lunch. But I don't think anything's matched up to your super poops... you're on another level. I am both impressed and fearful.
Dash
lets just hope this doesn't become a regular thing. Did the draino work?
Bob
Only time will tell…
Bob checks the toilet
Wow. I'll tell you what, that did the trick. The toilet is completely drained. That... that was impressive. Are you... is there anymore? Are you all done now?
Dash
No pops, I pray that that was it. I feel really empty tough. I feel almost hungry
Bob
Well, good. I think we should be all set now. Now how about we celebrate your victory... with some ice cream! I think you might have earned something sweet... don't you think?
Dash
YEAHHH. Damn, maybe I should destroy the can more often to be rewarded some ice cream huh?
Bob
Hahaha! Don't get any ideas, buckaroo.No, you got ice cream today because you persevered and pushed hard, and I'm proud of you for doing that. And I wanted to reward you. So, pick your ice cream, big fella. What do you want?
Dash
I want mint chocolate
Bob
Excellent choice!
Bob gets mint chocolate from the fridge
Mint chocolate is my favorite too.
Here you go, champ. You earned this.
Dash
Thanks dad, lets hope this doesnt kick off round 2
Bob
You and me both!I'm proud of you. You pushed hard... and I know it was pretty taxing... but you did it. You're a very special kid, you know that?
Dash
And you are a special dad. But I guess that means we are super
Bob gives Carl an "I see what you did there" kind of look
Bob
I like the way you think, kiddo. I guess we're super special! Maybe we are. But you know? You are something special too. I just wanted to make sure you knew that. You're my son, you know that? I love you very much, and I'm so proud of you.
Bob gives Carl a strong hug
Dash
heh, love ya too dad. But please don't squeeze too hard, I still have ghost pains.
Bob
Oops, sorry. How's the ice cream by the way?
Dash
Tastes great, a nice reward after all of this
Dash lets out a booming fart
Bob
Ok mister, that's enough. No farting while we’re eating
Dash
yes sir, I promise
Dash secretly crossed his fingers as they continued to enjoy their ice cream
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Ileostomy closure: One month out
Well. It's been a month. Putting the details below the cut.
If you're expecting your closure to be easier than the initial operation, get ready because no. First, you are still going to have a HOLE IN YOUR BODY. The ileostomy opening has to heal from the bottom up, That takes six to eight weeks for it to properly close. In that time, it's going to f*cking hurt. If you don't have a wound care nurse, here's what you need to do.
Shower with a waterproof dressing cover in place.
Remove the tape with adhesive remover pads and clean the area around the hole. You can use the same peristoma cleaning wipes that I used before and after closure.
Rinse the hole with sterile saline wound wash.
Place a 2x2 gauze pad over the wound and use surgical tape to keep it in place.
Infection doesn't always smell or look oozy and gross. Mine started with worsening pain at the site, hardness, and heat. If your wound starts to feel worse instead of better, get to the ER.
Now, the reversal isn't the only thing you're going to have to deal with. Your intestines have been offline, and I also had a resection which was then closed off to heal. I did not poop in the conventional manner for three months.
Get ready for the smell. It's fucking horrible.
You'll also have a gastrograffin xray before your surgery. It's beyond horrible and punted me back into CPTSD therapy - flashbacks are no fun.
You will not be discharged until you poop. You'll be on liquids, then soft foods, and if they have to help it along, they will. Conversely, if you're having diarrhea, they're not going to intervene too much. Constipation is what they're afraid of, and the strain on the surgical site. Getting home is going to be stressful.
For me, since I am missing intestines and rectum, it's been challenging. First, I have to rebuild my gut biome. Secondly, pooping feels very different. With the resection, there's urgency but I am learning the signals that I'd better get to the loo. Constipation has been on and off, and I've learned to handle it with docusate sodium, Citrucel, and prune juice. Your doc might have you on a low-residue diet for the first two weeks, so get that prune juice.
Yes, it does really work.
Getting your shit together can be painful because of reconfigured innards. You no longer have a capacious rectal cavity to hold the output, so you could find yourself pooping not two or three times a day, but eight to ten times per day. Your new resection has to stretch to be able to reduce the number of times you'll go. You'll need to rebuild motility and your gut biome.
Stay hydrated. Not just water and juice, but something like Ultima Replenisher will help. Soups and broths, too.
Prebiotics - you can add inulin powder to kefir, yogurt, skyr, or whatever probiotic rich food you're eating. Fermented foods can also be on the list.
DO NOT ADD FIBER UNTIL YOUR DOC SAYS OKAY.
Walk as much as you can, it keeps things moving.
So far, I have not had any continence issues, urgency is pretty common, but I have been doing pelvic floor exercises pretty faithfully, and that can help.
More when I can think of it.
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