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marvelouslizzie · 7 months

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Why Are You Doing This To Me?

summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you don’t know what to do.

pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.

word count: 2.3K

A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.

This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

>> Hey! I know you don’t want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.

Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really don’t want to hear his voice. Not because you don’t like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?

You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. It’s not particularly Bucky’s style. He sounds like he’s in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.

He talks about how much he regrets the things he didn’t do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but he’s afraid that you won’t pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.

The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifully… You can’t believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and it’s not even his style. He’s a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze.

“You are the love of my love.”

Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and it’s hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. That’s when you notice the name of the song. It’s the Love of My Life.

Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didn’t matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didn’t matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.

That’s when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didn’t care enough. He didn’t put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you weren’t just beating a dead horse.

You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. That’s when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world.

What a fucking asshole!

It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.

You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. It’s one of the nicknames he used often for you.

He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he can’t help but imagine you in that guy’s arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though he’s not in your life anymore.

There are so many details throughout the song that indicate he’s talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.

Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreak… He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.

Selfish bastard!

He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if that’s what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.

The problem is, it’s just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didn’t even think about calling someone else baby. You didn’t feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!

You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look.

Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didn’t care if it would hurt him. Because he didn’t care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who don’t care who they are hurting. You didn’t get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.

Then it finally hits you. He’s talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.

You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. That’s why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you.

You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so predictable. He just couldn’t bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?

You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasn’t on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasn’t enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?

It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. It’s maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and he’s finally doing it. Through a song but still, he’s doing it. It isn’t exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? That’s what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now he’s the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just don’t know what to do. How the tables have turned.

The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You can’t help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldn’t. Because you didn’t work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.

Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didn’t let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.

He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?

The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesn’t anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didn’t let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do it… to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You can’t tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.

God, you hate him so much!

How could he do this to you after all this time?

Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?

You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isn’t it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the world…

You repeat that last bit in your head. He’s declaring his love to the world.

He’s no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. He’s not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.

He’s doing his bit in communicating, but unless you don’t do something about it, it won’t matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You aren’t sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. It’s your best friend again.

>> Did you listen?

<< Yeah.

>> How are you feeling?

<< Confused.

<< Are you still talking to him?

>> Yeah we all are.

<< Why didn’t you tell me that?

>> You said you didn’t wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.

Just like you thought. You can’t blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you can’t help but wonder…

<< How is he doing?

>> Not great. He misses you.

<< I miss him too.

>> Are you gonna call him?

You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? That’s the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.

<< I don’t know what to do.

>> Just give him a call. He’s the love of your life.

You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour.

He’s the love of your life.

He’s a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.

And you are the love of his life.

Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.

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beautifulhigh · 7 months

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It just occurred to me that the polo scene doesn't get much love as it should. I know it's very short but just the thirst in Alex’s eyes, the way you can see his mouth dry while watching Henry ride that horse and his oh so sexy smile. I feel like that scene required a major dissection, and no one does it better so I came calling.

You know what? I'm doing this one now. I know I said I would do a meta on Henry Fox and I would do a meta on the New Year's Eve party but this is in my inbox now and yeah, let's talk about the polo scene.

(I'm also doing this now so I don't have another thing on my To Do pile, and your kind words made my shitty day a little better so thank you.)

Short scene, not a short meta.

In the book when he and Henry are in his bedroom, Alex has this little moment of clouds parting, sun beaming, angels chorus revelation:

In an instant of sudden, vivid clarity, he can’t believe he ever thought he was straight.

And while movie!Alex doesn't have the same bi awakening that book!Alex does. this is very much his moment of "oh I am very not straight at all" and that is valid of him.

(As this is a Jen meta, we shall also be talking about everything else because you do not analyse a text in isolation.)

This interview talks about the editing of the polo match:

Nick [Moore], my new editor coming in, took a look and he says, “I wanna try something with that polo match.” He spent a weekend of his own time doing something, and then he was ready to show me. He sat me down and said, “I’ve done something crazy.”

And we went from filmed scripted scenes and a lead in, to "bagpipes intensify" and it works SO well for where these boys are in this new stage of their relationship.

Our establishing shots are of the teams, the horses, the uniforms. This is Henry's world and Alex is about to step into it (which is a reversal of Henry at the NYE party - I swear I will write that meta once I have all the gif posts I want to link to) and it's all quick cuts and sharp transitions and moving shots. The pace has been set for Alex to enter.

We pick him out in the crowd but he's lost as quickly as we spot him. He's one of many here and it's all too quick to stay with him.

Firstly, you will never convince me that he didn't pick the tightest trousers he could find. Henry's comment about him being a mouthful is foreshadowed, right there.

ANYWAY

He walks in, he's looking around, he's doing up his jacket as a form of protection. Alex is the proverbial fish out of the proverbial water (and I have a meta about water if you're interested) and we're straight back in with the quick edits. Horses, polo sticks, this is not a game most people know how to play. Alex certainly doesn't. He's doing up his jacket and he is uncomfortable.

He is not a stranger to a suit, and that is certainly not something that is ill fitting. It is circumstance, not clothing.

And then we get our first clear shot of Henry. Only it's not clear, not at first. He literally comes into focus.

Stick aloft, mouth open, like he's a walking riding metaphor.

And Alex's face changes.

Yeah. He is definitely not straight.

From then on we stay with Henry. We, in Alex's viewpoint, have found him. And so we track Henry through the game and it's just generic horse legs if we're looking at anything else. The only player we/Alex see is Henry.

Here, Henry is leading. Going in first, checking it's clear, knowing Alex will follow him. Henry leads, Alex follows. Into the garden, into the bed, into the sexual component of their relationship. Alex admits to Henry right from the start that this is new to him:

“I’ve, uh,” Alex begins. “I’ve never actually done this before.” “Alex,” Henry says, reaching down to stroke at Alex’s hair, “you don’t have to, I’m—” “No, I want to,” Alex says, tugging at Henry’s waistband. “I just need you to tell me if it’s awful.” Henry is speechless again, looking as if he can’t believe his fucking luck. “Okay. Of course.”

When it comes to being with a man? Henry leads, Alex follows.

And then the pacing and editing kicks off. We intercut to the tempo of the bagpipes between the match and the hook up and Henry is leading the charge on both.

He's in charge and Alex is LOVING it:

Turns out being on the receiving end of Henry’s royal authority is an extreme fucking turn-on.

This is risky and the most dangerous thing they have done so far. Amy walking in on them in the Red Room is one thing - book!Alex is VERY thankful for the staff NDAs when it comes to what they know about him and Henry - but neither of them care here. And Alex is very much letting Henry take the lead and set the pace.

Which, given how long Henry has wanted Alex, wanted this, and how he's not able to live and love (at this point) as openly as Alex is, giving Henry this control means that not only can Alex continue his education in this mlm era of his life, but he's giving Henry all of the freedom he can. God Bless America or something.

We intercut the make out scene with shots of things being hit, the hard slamming of one thing against another, of riders in saddles. The hands may be a metaphor for sex in the Paris scene but we have it here as well.

Alex is fully on board by this point and he's not letting Henry set the full agenda. In his White House bedroom we got the scene of Henry going down on Alex (and there is no way that it was a one-way exchange given how long they were there) so now? It's his turn.

My favourite editing choice?

We then cut to Henry's arse bouncing in that saddle. If the Paris scene is making love? This is them fucking. Henry is bouncing away, riding for all he's worth, chasing down his singular aim with precision and determination.

It's innuendo at its finest.

I love this shot. We're looking up at them - we're just like Alex who is now looking up at Henry due to his new vantage point (#NoLongerTaller) - and we see Alex is fully crowding up into Henry's space. And they are right by the door. There is no cover, no escape. Anyone coming in has fully caught them. Please let there be a PPO or a Secret Service be just outside. Please. For their sanity if not mine.

But even if there isn't for some insane reason, they don't care. They are so lost in each other, so caught up in this moment, that they aren't FSOTUS and the Prince Of Wales. They aren't boys with status and expectations. They're just two consenting adults who are testing the boundaries of what public indecency actually means.

They are really going for it now. Henry's arm is tensed with the effort of keeping Alex close, his hand is splayed on Henry's back to give him contact with more of him. They are not letting go. Diving all in like it's a nod to the Olympic event where they met in the book.

And when they come up for air it's because Alex is... well... about to go diving.

Those fingers make VERY quick work of the belt and what he is doing with his hands and those fingers is further evidence in the "this is them fucking" category.

And then the frame which I'm guessing inspired Cordelia's ask to me:

LOOK AT THAT FACE. Look at those fucking eyelashes. But Alex is wanting and he is wanting hard for Henry. Pun intended. He's got a plan for this, he's got a To Do list for those Very Bad Things he promised/threatened Henry with all those weeks ago.

And it will have been weeks. The State Dinner was around February time based on the texts (end of January at the latest) and then Henry says the polo match is "next month" (which would put it end of February, early March because we would not say 'next month' if it were next week, regardless of when the month starts) and so it's been weeks since they hooked up in Alex's room. Weeks of having to just text and email and maybe venture into video calls.

None of that would compare to being together.

This is the first time that Alex has gotten his hands on Henry since his bedroom and he's desperate to get more than his hands on him.

And this shot as Alex pulls Henry's trousers down is fucking pornographic. Matthew López, did you direct Nick to act like this or was it his choice? Go watch his expression as Alex is pulling the offending clothing out of the way and tell me that this isn't pornographic.

And then we cut to the not-at-all subtle shot of Henry well, making the shot. With ease and power and the ball shooting out of frame. Something something orgasm metaphor something release.

There's even a little wisp as he makes the shot. If this post isn't flagged for mature content I'll be surprised.

Next shot?

Congrats on not getting caught, on the sex, on the most smut-filled-while-almost-fully-clothed-sex scene I've ever had the joy of frame-by-framing through.

Alex is doing up his tie again but he's not uncomfortable. And Henry is so fucking happy I could cry. Because he just hooked up with this guy, in semi-public, and got away with it. They are firmly in Henry's world here, a world where he can't be out and proud, and he got to have something he wanted. And, maybe crucially, no one knows about it. His privacy is intact.

But more importantly, this thing he's got with Alex is something. It's not a one night stand. Alex came here specifically for him, because he asked him to. Because Alex wanted to see him, be with him. This wasn't an obligation, this wasn't something set up by anyone for show and to do damage control. This was for them, and them alone.

Look at these smug bastards. Look at them. Gettin' their rocks off and making puns about being hungry and eating like they didn't just devour each other.

BUT

I gotta bring the feels here 'cause it's me.

Henry attended the State dinner because he was expected to, because that was in place before the New Year's kiss. It was an obligation and in both the movie and the book he had been ghosting Alex. And then Alex grabbed him in the Red Room and they hooked up and at the end of that scene Henry nervously asks Alex if he wants to be his guest at the polo event. Alex doesn't actually say yes - he says he doesn't know how to play polo, there's a comment about it being safer if he's on the sidelines - but leaving aside any fear that he would stand Henry up this is the first time they have made plans with the intention of seeing each other, of being together in this way.

This is, for want of a better term, kinda like a date.

Alex turned up, Henry put out, and they're very much committing to seeing where this path will take them. (Forever. It'll take them to forever.)

Alex isn't straight, Henry is very much in love, and they're embracing that giddy phase of a relationship where you just can't keep your hands off each other. And we fade from this to Paris where they're on another kind of date and then there's another kind of sex scene and it's a speedrun of their relationship on screen like they weren't indulging in foreplay with all the text flirting.

Which, by the way, don't think I didn't notice that Henry's jersey number was 4. Four-play indeed.

(Thanks for this, Cordelia, I needed something like this to soothe my brain.)

#jen answers stuff #i-cordelia #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #prince henry of wales #red white and royal blue #rwrb movie #firstprince meta #overthinking jen is overthinking #rwrb #otp: history huh #long post

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atomtanned · 8 months

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🌹 atomtanned's Trait-Based Chemistry

I've used @lilbabydilljr's Turn-Ons & Turn-Offs for a while now, and I love that he added in 3t2 traits when calculating chemistry. I wanted to tweak it for my game, and I finally learned how to do so. This is a heavily-modified version of his mod, so most of the credit goes to him - I just added/removed traits and changed some images and text strings.

Like any mod that involves traits, this requires @hexagonal-bipyramid's Easy Inventory Check.

This is definitely the most involved BHAV editing I've done yet, so please let me know if you find any errors, as it's a bit hard to test in game.

UPDATE: If you use Clean UI (or any other UI mod that uses Clean UI as a base) this mod will need to load after. Or you can delete the turn-on images that are included with that mod.

UPDATE 2: @cityof2morrow let me know that this mod (and I believe any other custom turnon/turnoff mods) also conflict with NickM406's No More Loading the * Family mod. Thank you!!

✨ DOWNLOAD: SFS / PATREON / MF

I've included the full list of turn-ons/turn-offs below the Read More link. The original names of Dill's Turn-Ons are in parentheses where applicable. Please note that this list uses the original TS3 trait names for clarity, but there's recommendations for changed trait names below as well.

Adventurous: 3 vacations, Adventurous, Daredevil, Sailor

Alien: Trait, skin, eyes

Animal Lover: 2 pet friends, Animal Lover, Cat Person, Dog Person, Equestrian

Artistic: Artistic, Avant Garde, Photographer's Eye, Savvy Sculptor, Flower Arranging/Pottery/Sewing badge, Arts & Crafts hobby, Creative skill

Athletic: Athletic, Equestrian, Loves to Swim, Sports/Fitness hobby, Body skill

Charismatic: Born Salesperson, Charismatic, Flirty, Irresistible, Schmoozer, Star Quality, Charisma skill

Cultured (Bookish): Avant Garde, Bookworm, Film & Literature Hobby

Daydreamer (Dumb): Absent-Minded, Neurotic, Socially Awkward, Unstable, < 2 Logic Skill

Fitness/Fatness: no change from Maxis game behavior

Foodie: Natural Cook, Cuisine hobby, Cooking skill

Indoorsy (Gamer): Bookworm, Computer Whiz, Couch Potato, Hates the Outdoors, Film & Literature Hobby, Games Hobby

Infamous (Bad Rep): Negative Reputation, Evil, Mean-Spirited

Intellectual (Smart): Bookworm, Genius, Logic Skill

Laid Back (Slacker): Couch Potato, Mooch, Slob, Personality

Mechanical: Servo, Bot Fan, Computer Whiz, Handy, Vehicle Enthusiast, Robotics Badge, Tinkering hobby, Mechanical skill

Musical: Natural Born Performer, Star Quality, Virtuoso, Music & Dance hobby, Dance skill, Creativity skill

Occult: Werewolf, Plantsim, Bigfoot, Witch, Fairy, Mermaid

Outdoorsy: Angler, Green Thumb, Loves the Outdoors, Sailor, Gardening badge, Fishing badge, Nature hobby

Outgoing (Indoorsy): Friendly, Natural Born Performer, Party Animal, Social Butterfly

Plant Lover: Eco-Friendly, Gatherer, Green Thumb, Vegetarian, Flower/Gardening badge, Plantsim, Fairy

Rebellious (Baddie): Daredevil, Inappropriate, Kleptomaniac, Party Animal, Rebellious

Reserved (Timid): Disciplined, Loner, Proper, Shy, Unflirty, Personality

Serious (Productive): Brooding, Disciplined, Frugal, No Sense of Humor, Perfectionist, Workaholic

Stylish: Avant Garde, Diva, Irresistible, Cosmetology badge, Fashion interest

Tidy (Neat Freak): Neat, Cleaning skill, Personality

Undead: Ghost, Vampire, Zombie

Unique (Magic): Avant Garde, Childish, Eccentric, Insane, Loser

Well-Liked (Good Rep): Good reputation, Friendly, Good, Good Sense of Humor

I use updated trait names/descriptions for several traits, mostly to be more positive or less ableist, and those are what I had in mind when I made the chemistry changes above. A few I made myself, so those are included in the RAR in a separate folder, and I recommend getting the ones linked below too:

Childish > Young at Heart

Commitment Issues > Noncommittal (@equinoxts2)

Evil > Devious (@equinoxts2)

Good > Kind

Insane > Erratic (@dreadpirate)

Kleptomaniac > Sticky Fingers

Loser > Underdog

Neurotic > Anxious

Unstable > Indecisive (@equinoxts2)

#s2cc #ts2cc #dl: mods #atomtanned.package #ts2 mods #ts2 cc #sims 2

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kyra45 · 8 months

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Donation scams

For pet donation scam information, go here.

What is a donation scam? - This kind of scam occurs when someone is asking for money but isn’t being genuine/honest for why they need it and upon closer inspection you’ll often find out their fundraiser information is stolen from someone else who needs support. For example, the text itself would pull up someone else’s fundraiser that’s posted on another site such as Facebook or Gofundme with names that don’t match up or certain details edited out or added from something else entirely. In a sense, the post doesn’t make much sense or seems to be mashed together from other places. These are scams because money given to them isn’t going towards their goal and also not going to the one who needs it.

Was there an ask sent? - Asks for these scams are varied with no common theme but they usually seem poorly worded and link you to their post which may be pinned. Usually they’ll be sent immediately after following you with no prior interaction even when they call you their friend. Sometimes they’ll say they see you share mutual aid posts too but that’s generally just some excuse they’ll use so you won’t be too suspicious of them. Legit people be warned: Spamming these asks will get people suspicious of you and asking you questions instead. If someone tells you to please limit them, it’s advised you try to. Don’t send these asks to anyone who has stated they don’t like them.

Is the account new? - Another common thing to check is the posting date of the posts on the blog. An account with a massive amount of posts dating across many years is generally a legitimate person if they have several original posts and overall appear to be a person. Unfortunately, scammers tend to backdate posts to make their blogs look older then they may be but rarely have that many original posts. By turning on timestamps, you can see the original posting date in other notes if they have shared posts. Usually the backdated posts are only a few days old but have been made to look years old. What is post backdating? Please refer to this post.

Does the story make sense? - Basically, how well does the story they give sound and does the information it has seem reasonable. Is there anything in it that seems too far fetched to be applicable to a situation? Such as stating they need money for someone’s funeral but the images they supply seem to be photoshopped. Or they have their name on a paper but there seems to be a filter over it which may be obscuring minor details from the original unedited image. You may notice the story also doesn’t give much information out that would be anything important like if a law applies to their situation but they don’t supply a general idea of what country their in. Sometimes the story changes after a few days too.

What else should you do? - If you still can’t figure out if someone’s legitimate, then you may try to nicely ask them questions related to their situation. These questions don’t have to be anything needing personal information; It can request clarity about something your unsure of or further explanation regarding a detail that doesn’t seem to make much sense overall. Most people don’t mind answering these questions as long as your being reasonable and friendly. Most usually will answer you. Unless they ignore you.

What if it is a scam? - Once you have gathered enough resources to confirm the post is by a scam account, it’s necessary to compile it into one place then make a post showing it or show them what you found as well. The scammer will most likely get really angry and deny your evidence and then block you and continue scamming people. Unfortunately it’s suggested to post the information yourself before confronting scam accounts.

Other stuff to look out for? - Asks being spammed; Mass tagging accounts who share mutual aid posts; Replies/reblogs are missing; Harassing people who proved they are scamming

How to report these accounts? - Report -> Something Else -> Illegal content or use -> Phishing

—

If you like this guide, feel free to check out my blog as I report on these scams nearly daily among other kinds of scams that I post about. If you like my hobby, feel free to drop some pocket change as thanks! However, all I really want you to do is share this post to help me bring awareness of tumblr scams. Send it to people who might not know what a donation scam is or link to it in posts you make! Thanks. Hope this information is helpful!

#scam #donation scam #how to spot a scam blog #long post #longpost

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trashcanlore · 10 months

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Kabbalah in the Worldbuilding of Genshin Impact; Part 1: The Tree of Life, the Universe, and Everything

Edited for clarity, 12/6/23

Written by Schwan (@abyssalschwan on twitter) and Sabre (trashcanlore, @paimoff on twitter)

During the Sumeru Archon Quests, we learned that the Irminsul is a (real! (ish)) tree that grows upside down, seemingly underground, and that the roots of the tree are the Ley Lines, which extend throughout Teyvat and the Abyss. Irminsul stores all knowledge and memories in the world, and the Ley Lines are the mechanism by which the tree acquires this information. Ley Lines move elemental energy through Teyvat, and this energy acts as both a storage medium for information but also a resource that can be utilized for combat, alchemy, an energy source (Azosite), etc.

The origin of the name Irminsul (unique to the Western localizations) in combination with the many names from Norse mythology associated with Khaenri'ah, suggest that the inspiration for Irminsul is Yggdrasil, the world tree and central axis of the cosmos in Norse mythology. Here we propose an additional inspiration for Irminsul and the associated worldbuilding and elemental system of Teyvat: The Kabbalistic Tree of Life. In this model, Teyvat’s elemental energy is comparable to the creative energy described by Kabbalah as the foundation for the creation of reality and the spiritual world. Specific attributes of elemental energy can be channeled by unique individuals in Teyvat and these attributes manifest as distinct elements, which can be directly compared to the 10 sefirot, or emanations, described in Kabbalistic literature.

What is Kabbalah?

Kabbalah (lit. received, tradition) is a school of thought originating in Jewish mysticism. In general, Kabbalah focuses on the relationship between the infinite (God) and the finite universe and how it was created. The goal of studying this mysticism can vary depending on the school of thought and their motivations. Many of the esoteric and religious influences on Genshin lore and worldbuilding were influenced by Kabbalah, or vice versa. These include Gnosticism, Hermeticism, alchemy, Freemasonry, the occultist branches of Theosophy and Thelema (Golden Dawn), astrology, symbolic interpretation of the tarot (also specific to the Golden Dawn) and more [2]. In short, Kabbalah is everywhere. Additionally, its concepts are used as symbolism in several pieces of media that directly or indirectly inspired Genshin and other games in the Hoyoverse.

If you have frequented Genshin lore topics, you might have heard that one of the main sources of inspiration for its worldbuilding is Gnosticism. The problem is, Gnosticism is a bit vague or contradictory when it comes to how the world was created and how the whole existence thing works. At this current moment in the storyline of Genshin, we have very little information on the very beginning of existence in Teyvat. This information seems to be a crucial part of the “truth of the world” and appears to be purposefully hidden by powerful factions like Celestia. This entire theory was born out of trying to make sense of what little we know about the creation of Teyvat and comparing it to esoteric commentaries on the well known creation myth of the Torah (Old Testament). The “Biblical world structure” interpretation of Teyvat has been around since the early days of Genshin lore and with good reason; there are frequent mentions of the firmament, as well as the name Teyvat sounding very similar to the Biblical Hebrew word for ‘ark’ (although the grammar is a bit mangled). There are also several references to stories from the Bible in in-game texts, including Before Sun and Moon.

Kabbalah literature spends a lot of time trying to understand and describe the process of how the world was created and the underlying principles of reality, as well as how spiritual practice can change that reality (either metaphorically or literally). Kabbalah intends to describe the “true nature of God,” which is equal to the entirety of existence, as something very vast and completely impossible to grasp. This incomprehensible infinity emits an “limitless light” that is the origin of all creation. Elemental energy (the ubiquitous source of everything in Teyvat) is often found compared to light, something we’ll discuss in more detail later. The “limitless light” of Kabbalah is way too powerful for existence to bear, much like how elemental energy is to normal, non-Vision having humans. That’s why this light needed to be “filtered” down. This happens through the process of creation, which passes the light through the spiritual attributes that form the Tree of Life, which is like a sort of diagram for how the universe came into being [3].

The Tree of Life

The tree of life and its 10+ nodes, known as sefirot, is one of the most well-known concepts from Kabbalah to make its way into popular culture. As mentioned previously, the tree has been used as rule-of-cool symbolism in anime such as Neon Genesis Evangelion and Fullmetal Alchemist, two pieces of media that likely are significant influences on Genshin (If you doubt that HYV loves NGE, play some Honkai). The sefirot are also depicted on the floor of the Schicksal HQ map in Honkai Impact 3rd, for some reason.

The sefirot and their organization and interactions with each other can be found depicted in many ways, such as the tree format that is the most popular, or a spiraling nested scheme that is really cool, or even very stylized, like the work of Robert Fludd.

Sefirot

Sefirot comes from the root word in Hebrew meaning “to count,” but you can also find it translated as “sphere” in some texts. The term originated in a book on Jewish mysticism called the Sefer Yetzirah, or “Book of Formation/Creation.” which describes the combination of the “sefirot of nothingness” and the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet as the foundation of reality (remember the hypostasis codenames?).

The Sefer HaBahir (lit. the book of brightness, 13th century France) introduces the idea that the sefirot are emanations of the divine. Interestingly, this book refers to the sefirot as ma’amarot (sayings), which builds on an important concept in classical Jewish philosophy – the idea that God spoke the world into existence. [We’ll get back to the Sefer Yetzirah and the role of language in creating the world in a subsequent part of this theory]. Fontaine 4.2 era edit: HELL YEAH stay tuned for more about Oceanids!!

Historically, Kabbalah might have taken this rough concept from a very different school of thought: Pythagoreans or neo-Platonists. Briefly, the connection between the Pythagoreans and the Kabbalistic sefirot is that both groups considered the world as being made of numbers. This ties back into Genshin worldbuilding because of how much Platonism is related to Gnosticism. Something else to keep in mind is that Pythagoreans (who had a cool history that connected Egypt and Greece to the magic of ✨math✨ but also hey Genshin lore hello Deshret) were known to use lyres as their instrument of choice while making mathematical studies of music. More sus Venti lore for the collection? This is also interesting to consider in the context of Nahida, who is deeply connected to the Irminsul, and has animations that are reminiscent of computers.

Later in the 13th century, the Kabbalist Isaac the Blind would 'canonize' the list of sefirot (there’s still some variation to this day) and organize them into a sequence that would become the basis for the famous Tree of Life structure. His writings described the sefirot as attributes of the divine and their role in the creation of the world. In his model, the sefirot originated from lights that emerged from a primordial soup of potential, and these sefirot/lights would then ‘flow’ and emanate into each other. His student, Azriel of Gerona, expanded on this with a neo-Platonic lens and introduced the concept of the Ein Sof, the infinite nothingness that cannot be comprehended and is the origin of everything. In this model, being flows from an infinite resource of potential, which the divine can utilize through the framework of the sefirot, eventually creating the world [4]. In simple terms, the Ein Sof, which contains everything, emits a primordial light that then differentiates into the sefirot. In our Genshin analogy, this primordial light would be like extremely pure elemental energy that differentiates into elements, like light passing through a prism.

Moses Cordovero, an important figure in the development of Kabbalah, described the process of the sefirot differentiating with the analogy of light shining through a stained glass window:

Imagine a ray of sunlight shining through a stained-glass window of ten different colors. The sunlight possesses no color at all but appears to change hue as it passes through the window. The light has not essentially changed though it seems so to the viewer. Just so with the sephirot. The light that clothes itself in the vessels of the sephirot is the essence, like the ray of sunlight. That essence does not change color at all, neither judgment nor compassion, neither right nor left. Yet by emanating through the sephirot -- the variegated stained glass -- judgment or compassion prevails. (Pardes Rimmonim by Moses Cordovero, translated in Essential Kabbalah by Daniel Matt)

Cordovero considered the sefirot to be completely independent of each other, but the later Lurianic school of Kabbalah (we’ll get into them more in later parts) considered the sefirot to be constantly dynamically interacting with each other and also assigned them personas.

Achievement grinders amongst us may recall the descriptions of the namecards you get upon completing the Elemental Specialist achievement series:

Achievement: Colors of the Rainbow: Light can refract into countless colors, but people stop at seven because they're too lazy to count. Perhaps the elements are like that, too. Achievement: Seven Lights: Anyone can play a tune that belongs just to them, and like the dew under grass, can reflect the seven lights of heaven.

Another example of the elements being compared to light is the Latin text found on the magic circles on the door of Mona’s future house in Mondstadt and generated by the hypostases during their missile attacks. The text reads:

Ex culmine lucis in magno elementorum, which translates to "From the peak of light, to greatness of the elements."

It’s interesting to see this text appearing in association with the hypostases since they are described as “life forms which have completely abandoned their former appearance and biological structure, making them able to reach the highest level of elemental purity. They are ultra-compact structures with a high mass, and are the highest forms of elemental structures.” The hypostasis code names are also all Hebrew letters, as mentioned earlier.

Mona’s astrolabe during the Unreconciled Stars event features a similar text:

Ex culmine locis in magno elementorum; Lux se effundat in mentes dei, which translates to "From the peak of light, to the greatness of the elements; May light pour out, into the minds of god."

The Abyss Lector catalysts contain a text that mirrors these two examples:

Ex culmine lucis in mango obscuritas. Lux se effundat in mentes abysso, or “From the peak of light, to the greatness of darkness. May light pour out into the minds of the abyss.”

The Genshin elements are also described as flowing. For example, a loading screen tip specifically describes the Ley Lines as “A mysterious network that links the whole world together, within which flow the elements.” The Silver Twig description states: "All knowledge, memory, and experience flow through this giant tree, just like a stream flows into a river, the river joins a sea, the sea turns into clouds, and the clouds rain onto the ground — just like life itself."

Sefirot and the Genshin Elemental System

The 10 (sometimes 11) sefirot are:

Keter: Crown (this one is even more symbolic that the rest, is described as “the most hidden of all hidden things" in the Zohar, represent things that are above the mind’s comprehension and the very beginning of the process of turning potential into reality)

Chokhmah: Wisdom

Binah: Understanding/Reasoning

(Da’at: Knowledge, as a fusion of Chokhmah and Binah)

Chesed: Loving Kindness or Mercy

Gevurah: Strength/Severity, (sometimes Din, Judgement, or Pachad, Fear)

Tiferet: Beauty/Harmony, is associated with balance of the Tree of Life

Netzach: Eternity/Endurance

Hod: Splendor/Glory

Yesod: Foundation (as in, foundation of reality)

Malkhut: Kingdom/Sovereignty

You’ve probably noticed by now that while we are claiming that the concept of the sefirot applies to the elemental system in Genshin, there are 10 sefirot and only 7 elements (for now). Fortunately for us, the Kabbalists love metaphors and categories. In addition to the sefirot representing the procedure used to ‘emanate’ and create the world, there are other methods of interpretation that further subdivide and rank the sefirot. For example, one metaphorical interpretation of the Tree of Life assigns each of the sefirot to a part of the human body.

In some Kabbalistic traditions of interpreting the tree, the 10 sefirot are divided into two categories: Intellect (Keter, Binah, Chokhmah) and Emotions (they’re actually more like character traits), which contains the remaining seven. These categories are meant to parallel how the soul is also divided into the intellect and emotional components. The first three sefirot are also referred to as the “three mothers,” because they are the source of the lower seven [5].

Having a group of seven sefirot is very convenient for comparing their traits to the elements and their ideals, but what about the role of the higher three in Genshin worldbuilding? This next section requires a bit more conjecture than some other comparisons here.

The source of all elemental energy in Teyvat, whatever that actually is, could be compared to Keter (crown), the most hidden and incomprehensible of the sefirot. (Big stretch, but think of the crowns over the Irminsul trees in domains.)

Next, we have the Ley Lines, which contain dreams and memories (these are basically the same in Teyvat, see Dream Solvent description), and these can be compared to Binah (understanding/reasoning) and Chokhmah (wisdom). During the Sumeru Archon Quest, Rukkhadevata says that dreams are the source of the wisdom she upheld as her ideal. Memories play an important role in discerning the truth of the world, as the traveler has now found themselves to be the only person to remember certain people/events, and has been told to trust their memories rather than what they can see.

Comparison of the 'Lower' Sefirot to the Genshin Elements and Their Ideals

Chesed (loving-kindness); Cryo (unknown, theorized to be love)

The Cryo Archon’s ideal is theorized to be love, as it’s the only characteristic mentioned in relation to her in the Travail trailer. Wanderer’s voiceline about her directly mentions love and describes her as being kind and benevolent, while Childe describes her as extremely gentle. These are the characteristics of Chesed, which represents the trait of completely selfless love: the all forgiving, all giving love of a god towards their creations. When it comes to the Cryo element itself, two things are worth mentioning: one is the way that all of Snezhnaya is perpetually covered in snow, as if this were the (ironic) physical expression of the Tsaritsa’s love blanketing them. The second is the promise of a world-encompassing snowstorm that will envelop everything as the Fatui advance on their war against Celestia. Although it’s hard to find one absolute constant in Vision granting stories, it’s notable that most Cryo users got their Vision at a moment when they had to selflessly be there for others (Diona, Chongyun, Mika), or after a decisive moment where they put aside their personal comfort for an ideal that would result in benefit for others (Kaeya, Eula, Layla).

Gevurah (Severity); Hydro (Justice)

Gevurah is associated with divine judgment, the kind that punishes humanity and causes world-altering catastrophes like the flood or the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden. The Hydro Archon organizing her nation around a Court that attempts to judge both deities and humans parallels this. In a more positive sense, Gevurah is also related to moral judgment that allows one to tell good from evil. Likewise, Hydro in-game is often associated with purity and separation of clean and unclean matter. When it comes to Hydro Vision wielders, one common characteristic is that they all live by a personal ethical code, and their commitment to it is what granted them their Vision.

Tiferet (Beauty/Harmony); Anemo (Freedom)

Tiferet balances the other sefirot on the tree and has direct connections to almost all of them (except for Malkut). Similarly, Anemo can facilitate many elemental reactions via its Swirl reaction. In our opinion, something almost all the Anemo characters share is that their moment of receiving a Vision coincides with a moment of balance and harmony with themselves or their environment. See Jean and Kazuha’s Vision stories and the cutscene where Scaramouche/Wanderer gets his Vision. As an aside, comparing harmony to Anemo is funny because Venti is a bard and harmony is also a musical term: in music theory, harmony is the way we analyze the interactions between different voices that can be heard at the same time.

Netzach (Eternity); Electro (Eternity)

The quality of “Eternity” in Netzach is related to victory against enemies, referring to eternity as being the most powerful combatant remaining among defeated adversaries. Likewise, in Genshin the story of the Electro Archon features many battles during the Archon War where Ei and Makoto ended up victorious. As for Electro users tend to have their Vision granted at a moment when their ambition “defeated” the obstacles of reality, as was the case with Fischl, Kuki and Lisa. Cyno’s Vision story makes sense when you compare it to the illumination of Buddha during meditation, and how this was victory over the temptation of the demon Mara.

Hod (Glory); Pyro (War)

Natlan and its Pyro Archon are possibly the most mysterious of all the regions, so we can only speculate. We know that the Pyro Archon is called the God of War, and that the Pyro Gemstone mentions battles, pilgrimages and truth. The sefira of Hod, translated as Glory or Splendor, is linked to being able to connect with God and therefore also associated with prophecy (as in the way a human can carry a message from God). In the Travail trailer, the Pyro Archon tells the traveler that “the rules of war are woven in the womb.” It's also theorized Natlan will be based on Mexica culture (where sacrifice of both enemies and self sacrifice was a way to connect with the gods) and via Iansan's name, the Caribbean diaspora version of Yoruba religion (where many rites involve the gods making themselves present in the material world).

Yesod (Foundation); Dendro (Wisdom)

Back when we started to think about this theory during version 2.8, we decided on Yesod largely via process of elimination. One piece of our rationale was that in the Jewish tradition, each of the lower seven sefirot are used to represent a primary personality trait of seven archetypal figures in the Torah. The person related to Yesod is Joseph, who is well known for his prophetic dreams, and because of the events of the Golden Apple Archipelago, we decided that was close enough. However, the 3.x version confirmed that a) Irminsul did actually exist, b) Dendro as an element has a deep relationship with the tree, with the Dendro Archon acting as its avatar, c) the ideal of wisdom as both Dendro Archons interpreted it has a lot to do with dreams, and d) Irminsul and the Ley Lines act as the foundation for how reality is perceived in Teyvat. Yesod is also associated with biological life, as it represents the reproductive organs in the human body scheme of the sefirot.

Malkut (Kingship); Geo (Contracts)

Malkut is associated with the connection between the spiritual "above" of the Tree of Life and the concepts it contains, and the "below" of the material world, where these concepts manifest into material reality. For this reason, Malkut is associated with the earth [6]. In many Geo item descriptions, like the Geo Hypostasis drop or Albedo's elemental skill, the motif of geo trying to reach the sky is a constant. From a religious POV, the relationship between the divine and humans living in the material world has also been one of "covenants," or "pacts", in a similar way to how the Geo Archon is the God of Contracts. Furthermore, contracts are the basis to have a working state (government), and a kingdom is one of the first forms of a state. Malkut also being related to earth and everything material parallels how Geo is an element that works in making constructs. Geo Vision users are likewise involved in making or maintaining structures, like the Knights of Favonius is for Noelle, or the tradition of alchemy is to Albedo, as well as opera to Yunjin and in a way, even the Oni identity for Itto.

The Origin of Evil and Why Irminsul is Upside Down

Tighnari tells us that Irminsul is a tree that “grows downward rather than upwards,” or in other words, it’s upside down. This isn’t the only time that we’ve encountered things in Teyvat being described as upside-down or mirrored, and as it turns out, there is a similar scenario described in Kabbalah. Throughout Kabbalistic discussions on the origin of evil in the world (both material and spiritual), a central idea developed is the existence of a mirrored or inverse Tree of Life that forms the demonic realm of evil. The Zohar, a foundational work of Kabbalistic literature, spends a considerable time discussing the origins of evil - there are more than 5 creation myths for the concept of evil! Two of these myths describe the formation of an inverse Tree of Life, called the Sitra Achra (literally “other side”). This tree is constructed out of corrupted fragments of divinity that did not make it through the creation process, and therefore became evil forces [7]. Evil is typically represented as either a shard (like of broken pottery) or as a husk/shell (Qlippoth in Hebrew). Sound familiar? We actually have an enemy with this name in-game; the "shadowy husks" (the CN name for these enemies literally translates to "empty shell").

Unlike the very well defined 10 sefirot of the Tree of Life, Kabbalists don't agree about the identities or number of the demons that form the Sitra Achra. Some names for these demons are consistent; such as Lilith, Samael, and Asmodeus, who make a sort of "mother, father, son" trio. As for the rest, scholars generally agree that Kabbalists blended traditions from nearby cultures depending on where they lived, leading to Arabic, Spanish and Germanic legends mixing into the Jewish tradition [8]. There's a strong possibility Hoyoverse did something similar and filled in the missing names with the names of the demons of the Ars Goetia, creating a system where the mirrored sefirot are “ruled” by demon gods, aka, the Archons. This implies that the reason Teyvat is upside down is because it is actually on the “other side.”

Neuvillette, About Us: Witness: Since you hail from beyond the stars, I invite you to be my witness as I judge this upended world…”Though we live in a world of disarray, I shall undertake to restore all that has been broken”.

[Fun Fact: The Zohar describes the construction of the Sitra Achra as a series of knots that arrange the demonic equivalent of sefirot, called either crowns or “breaths,” into a mirrored Tree of Life configuration [7]. ]

The primary goal of the Sitra Achra is to steal and absorb the divine energy of the Tree of Life to maintain its existence, in the hopes of gaining enough energy to destabilize the system [9]. The way Genshin's Archons use their Gnoses is similar to this system. In the Flower of Paradise Lost artifact lore, the Goddess of Flowers explains to Deshret and Rukkhadevata that when the Seelie race was disgraced, they lost their connection to Heaven and their power of "enlightenment". Later, Celestia would facilitate the Archon War with the promise that each winning god would be granted a Gnosis that would give them exceptional power. Both Nahida and Venti have described the Gnoses as being a very advanced tool that concentrates elemental energy. So far, Archons have had inherent elemental powers related to their nature, but when it comes to using large amounts of elemental energy through their Gnoses, they aren't creators but channelers of it, just at a much larger scale than humans who have Visions. Edit: and yes, there is the most recent revelation about the origin of the Gnoses that is extremely relevant to this comparison, but deserves its own space to be properly expanded on.

However, this doesn't mean Teyvat is condemned. Just as the Traveler has slowly been setting the chaos of elemental energy back into order (by, for example, returning the elemental Oculi to the Statue of the Seven, among many other things), so too is there a concept in Kabbalah describing the importance of righting the wrongs of the universe so that the sefirot are stable and creation is in harmony with the divine. This is called Tikkun Olam, or the repairing of the world.

Stay tuned for part 2 where we go into wayyyyy more detail about what this means for the Traveler's journey through Teyvat! 4.2 Edit: and of course will we will be talking about the most recent Gnosis revelation, as well as the Narzissenkreuz Ordo antics :D

References:

https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/170308/jewish/What-is-Kabbalah.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hermetic_Qabalah

Kabbalah - Origins of the Sefirot and Tree of Life - Isaac the Blind Saggi Nehor & Azriel of Gerona

Mystical Concepts in Chassidism - Schochct, Jacob Immanuel, chapter 2

Mystical Concepts in Chassidism - Schochct, Jacob Immanuel pg 66-67, Tanya ch. 3

Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, Likutey Moharan I, 12:1 via Wikipedia

The Origins of the Klippot / Qliphoth & Sitra Achra in the Zohar - Kabbalah on the Problem of Evil

https://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/demons-and-demonology

9. Evil in Early Kabbalah - Emanations of the Left Hand Side - Origins of the Qliphoth / Klippot

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin lore #please tell me you get the joke in the title XD #the kids do not know about 42

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hpowellsmith · 2 months

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Happy birthday, Royal Affairs!

It's been a year since Royal Affairs came out and I've been over the moon about how it's been received. It's meant that I've been able to write full-time, make Honor Bound as rich and detailed at high speed, and do a lot of physical and mental health recovery after various periods of burnout. I'm really grateful for everyone's support, here and elsewhere, and it really makes a huge difference.

I had so much fun returning to the characters after a while away for the epilogue - if you enjoyed the game at release and haven't replayed for the epilogue, I very much recommend giving it a go!

After beta testing, I wrote up a retrospective about what came up and how I organised my work. I thought I'd share it for some insight into my process, for players and authors. Here it is:

In Crème de la Crème I ended up adding large branches to the plot during beta, but I was fortunate not to have to do it this time around. Mostly it was building on what was there or bringing certain things to the forefront, or adding a few different ways of navigating situations.

As feedback came in, I was lucky enough to have so much that it became unwieldy to act on it in one go, so I made a priority list.

Highest priority was game breaking bugs or large continuity problems like Dominique's final game scene switching to Beaumont's.

High priority was smaller continuity bugs like the game confusing who you were romancing or whether you had or hadn't done a particular action earlier.

Medium priority was things like small scene additions or multi romance responses, or tweaking first impressions of characters, and so on.

Low priority was nice-to-haves like allowing a character to be romanced only late on.

Alongside this, I fixed typos and made small adjustments - easy wins that added polished. There were also some major sweeps that I did: a stat test clarity sweep, a stat change sweep, a reduction of tests in casual conversations, and repetitive words or phrases.

Stat test clarity:

I picked 3-4 stat tests at random from each chapter, copied their text into a separate document, and highlighted words that reflected the stats. For example: for Authoritative I had things like "I order them to..." "I tell them what to do", "I stay aloof to maintain my authority..." and so on. I edited testing choices to include these keywords, and also edited the stat guide to include them.

Checking all this had the side effect of helping me spot unnecessary tests or points where the stat being tested just didn't match the situation at hand.

Stat changes:

There are a lot of points where stats can change, and not all of them made sense at the start of beta. I did variations of this sweep several times, including the Action Skills, NPC stats, and adding a lot more chances to boost your Powers of Persuasion. Again doing this check helped me spot unnecessary or unintuitive tests and changes.

Tests in casual conversations:

This was again something that I iterated several times. Some of the commentary about Crème de la Crème said that the stat tests felt punishing or too difficult, and an early playtest from my wife flagged that some of the tests in Royal Affairs felt unfair. Why should a character's relationship reduce when you're trying to be affectionate, if the circumstances aren't in a state where that makes sense?

So I stripped out a lot of this, generally replacing a success/failure with flavour text (such as a Subtle MC perhaps being, well, more subtle about holding hands with someone). In some cases, where a character needs to be drawn out of themselves to talk more emotionally (Beaumont or Hyacinthe, on occasion), or they see the conversation as a contest or challenge in some way (mostly Javi or Trevelyan), I left them in. But I liked that they were a rarity rather than default.

Repetitive words or phrases

As I was writing, sometimes I noticed that I was overusing phrases, so if I got that feeling I would make a note for the sweep. In the end there wasn't as much as that as I thought, but there were a lot of qualifier-type words that reduce the impact of a sentence - "a little" was one, or "really", usually in dialogue - or filler words like "down" in sentences like "you sit down beside them".

I also looked for phrases like "you know" or "you suspect" to spot places where I could express whatever it was that the MC knows more elegantly (this is something a former colleague told me once and I've never forgotten it!)

More involved edits

With some major things that I did change, I'd put them on my to-do list before beta but they were either unwieldy and I wanted to start testing sooner rather than later, or I wanted to check whether other people agreed. It was great to have more opinions and mostly they confirmed what I'd thought. With others, I studied the feedback to gauge whether the effort of making the changes would be worth the payoff. In most cases, I decided to go for it.

In general, this stage involved adding things, including:

more worldbuilding details to give more context to the plot

more teacher interactions throughout; added scenes as well as offhand references to other classes; more about Clemence and Vere and expanded outcomes to their storyline

romanceable characters responding to players romancing other people: in the moment, checking in about where your relationship was at, and a set of final breakup conversations if it was left until the very last minute (this was a very big undertaking and would have been better to do earlier - a lesson I've taken to Honor Bound)

lengthening the main suffrage debate

adding slow-paced romance dynamics for two characters (I was really keen to do this but was disciplined about making it low priority - it was a lovely idea and I knew I'd enjoy doing it, but it was very much a nice-to-have compared to other things. I was delighted to be able to do it!)

more communal scenes with classmates to give more of a sense of living in each other's pockets

adding an option to confide in Asher about a particular plot point and for them to assist with it if wanted (I was so happy about adding this: it's one of my favourite Asher moments, even if few people see it!)

tweaking some of the friendship/romance conversations to add more emotional chat (mostly this applied to Javi and Hyacinthe; there was a bit added to Asher and Dominique at Verdancy)

more pet time

more narrative and conversational responsiveness about whether an imperilled character was romanced

more Javi asexuality chat

more detailed outfit descriptions throughout with more choices about what to wear

generally expanding some scenes to give more breathing room to important moments

In the end I added 45000 words to the game during beta testing, thanks to feedback from editor review, continuity testing, and copyediting. Testing took place during late December 2022 and January 2023, and I massively appreciate everyone who contributed to make this big game as polished as it is!

#choice of games #royal affairs #creme de la creme series #interactive fiction #game writing process #if writing process

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celestialcrownsvn · 2 months

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4/6/24 Demo Update

Hey guys, got that demo update I promised. It's up on itch.io right now and will be updated on Steam tomorrow.

Some major changes to note:

Bellatrix's sprite has been changed to better reflect their voice actor's appearance, per the VA's request.

The stat screen can no longer be viewed while clicking through and reading. I saw a lot of confusion in testing over how to close it during choices, so I've added a 'close' button to head that off.

All skin tones have been added and reflected in the CGs.

Please report any bugs to the Celestial Crowns discord.

Here is the full changelog:

Added additional voice "barks" for Lune, Terra, Sahi, Celeste, and Aalam

added 15 new SFX

added existing SFX in places where it made sense to

added additional art assets to ballroom scene

added camera animations throughout first 3 chapters

created chapter cards for first 3 chapters

implemented new skin tones

added voice lines where needed

fixed bug where camera was not working properly when skipping

updated textbox

updated popup for increased stats

updated save/load screen bg

updated preferences screen bg

added additional text effects in some places

added new theme song

added new sad song

added new romance song

changed music on character select screen

adjusted button size for title buttons to ensure the hitbox was working properly

adjusted text size of save file names so they fit under the screenshots

adjusted Terra's history screen picture to be generic to accommodate all skin tones

changed some text for clarity (no trade at all if marriage goes through, the only benefit is they must protect each other when wars happen)

changed main menu

changed character customization music

There is also a new trailer. Give it a watch, it has some new CG teasers ^^ Any feedback/constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated, video editing isn't my strong suit.

New BGs

Our BG artist is on fire! We now have a first look at the inside of Andromeda castle.

I still haven't had time to sit down and start writing the third draft in earnest as some life stuff tripped me up, but with any luck by next week I will be ready for that. Hope you enjoy this update in the meantime ^^

#visual novel #celestial crowns #vndev #english otome #celestialcrownsvn #game development #english visual novel #character customization

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wingsoverlagos · 11 days

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Lewisohn vs. Preston

I've begun posting some additional Tune In citation comparisons on actual hellsite WordPress. I've been using it for a few days, and we have already built a deep animosity between us - it eats my posts, in whole or in part, and finding a simple, readable layout was a chore - but now there is a place to view my source comparisons without scrolling through twelve pictures of Paul McCartney circa 1974, which might be a plus to some people.

It also allows me to document many of the noteworthy but not terrifially unique Lewi-sins I've found without clogging up the dash for my dear followers. I'll continue to share highlights and anlysis here, plus an occasional round-up of anything that isn't crossposted, but this should save you some tedium.

I have brought a highlight to offer you today: Lewisohn's adaptation of Billy Preston's piece in Memories of John Lennon (2005).

Memories of John Lennon (2005) is a collection of short pieces about John Lennon, primarily by people who knew him. I say “primarily”, because Mark Lewisohn himself also has a piece in this collection! Unsatisfied with his own Lennon memorial, Lewisohn decided Billy Preston's words needed substantial edits.

Tune In 34-4 vs. Billy Preston

In Tune In:

In Memories of John Lennon (p.219-220):

This quote is altered extensively, though the meaning is more or less preserved. I’ve highlighted in yellow the parts Lewisohn quotes, and marked in red any additional changes Lewisohn made to the quotes text. There are several omissions – one a full paragraph long – that are unmarked.

The only marked change is the bracketed “[the Beatles]”, and even this isn’t done correctly. Lewisohn writes, “I made sure they [the Beatles] were well fed and watered,” indicating that “they” is the term used in the orginal source. Not so. Preston’s original piece reads, “I made sure that the soon-to-be Fab Four were well fed and watered.” There’s no “they” in the quote – Lewisohn introduces ambiguity with his own rephrasing, and then adds a bracketed “correction” as if it’s Preston’s words that lack clarity.

It’s particularly galling to me that Lewisohn found the need to extensively rephrase Billy Preston’s own recollections of a departed friend. Preston’s memories about John don’t meet whatever benchmark Lewisohn uses, so he alters them – Lewisohn never knew John Lennon himself, but he’s the authority on how his friends and colleagues should remember him.

Sources:

Lewisohn M. 2013. The Beatles: All These Years Vol. 1: Tune In. New York (NY): Crown Archetype. [ebook]

Ono Y [editor]. 2005. Memories of John Lennon. HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. [ebook]

#mark lewisohn #tune in #lewi-sins #the beatles #billy preston #john lennon

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shadowfoxsilver · 1 month

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Donation scams

Other stuff to look out for? - Asks being spammed; Mass tagging accounts who share mutual aid posts; Replies/reblogs are missing; Harassing people who proved they are scamming

—

To report scam posts, the original way was this: Report -> Something else -> Illegal uses or Content -> Phishing

This guide is from my other account, but I’m reposting it here as a backup. If you found this guide useful, please let me know and share it to your friends.

#how to spot a scam blog #donation scam #scam #long post is long

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tinygameroom · 5 months

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Have we even talked about the trans implications of being a god of change...

Editing to add my tags and context

When I say 'incidental' at the beginning I'm saying it feels incidental and artificial and then go on to partially deconstruct the idea that it actually is incidental and give examples of why it's not. This is not a full analysis which is why the concept is not explored with the clarity and structure that that would imply, but I'm not actually calling gender irrelevant to the game because it's clearly an ongoing part of the text. I didn't intend this to get reblogged at all much less with responses to my tags, so any issues you have with my rambles are due to lack of clarity and finished thought, due to them being rambles, not a correct understanding of my actual point.

Anyway I think there's tons of interesting analysis to be done about how the game approaches gender, and I don't have the energy or interest to actually analyze about it right now which is why I was more just spitballing about it. What's most interesting to me tho is that contradiction where the Princess being perceived as a woman seemingly has nothing to do with anything, yet is ever present as a commentary on agency and perception, and how people who have experienced misogyny will connect with that. I am also fascinated by the Genderlessness/Genderfulness of the Shifting Mound as an entity of change, how she appears so very feminine but her entire philosophy rejects the idea of simple classification, etc.

As a transmasc nonbinary person the ideas of being perceived as female/feminine (and therefore feeble, innocent, alien, small, stupid, etc etc) and the idea of having a feminine role that doesn't quite or always fit me assumed by others despite that are ideas that resonate a lot. I have lots of thoughts and they're unorganized!

#slay the princess #i feel like gender is so incidental and aesthetically shallow in the game #it has at once no meaning and so much meaning #like the princess is never assumed incapable or deceiptful or weak or simple because she's implicitly a woman #and her being a woman is almost never remarked on #but it's there subtextually in how the narrator and we impose on her agency and she has to continually defend and insist on it #in how she represents an ideal and sometimes even an object #it's not as if there's intentional in universe sexism on the part of the player or the narrator #but they way they perceive and interact with the princess reflects real experiences #with misogyny and being perceived as female #but the princess and especially the shifting mound defies a lot of the perceptions put on her #with the shifting mound describing herself as abstract and fluid concepts and emphasizing change #she is everything #and she is so beyond small human ideas and roles even if she deigned to think of them #so the feminine princess is more than incidental #but ultimately inconsequential

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albireogames · 1 year

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Update v0.4.2 - Lark route release!

The first full route is complete! Lark's story spans 38k words (47k including side content) and has three possible endings: romantic, platonic, or... neither. We hope you go for all three!

In addition to the main story, there are a total of 20 side events as well, with many more to come in future updates. We plan to add a New Game+ feature to make it easier to see them all without having to complete a lot of additional playthroughs.

Unfortunately, since this is the only finished route at the moment, the game automatically sets you on the path to get one of her endings, so you don't have the option to pursue one of the other dragons. Other dragons' routes will be added in future updates, so please look forward to it.

If you encounter any bugs, please comment and let us know!

Play the game here: https://fenmori.itch.io/dragongame

Bug fixes and changes from 0.4.0 (closed beta):

Fixed a major issue where the two non-romantic endings were inaccessible due to a flag being set improperly

Added story flag checks for whether the player qualifies for the platonic ending

Fixed an issue where Lark always refers to a past event that may not have happened depending on the player's choice

Fixed the implementation of a toggle that mutes SFX for advancing text to reduce consistency issues where, after toggling the sound off, it would occasionally toggle back on by itself

Fixed an issue where, if the player chooses to play the game with rollback disabled, it would occasionally become enabled again after certain scenes

Fixed an issue where opening the game menu before selecting a rollback option would raise an exception and crash the game due to play time data being uninitialized

Fixed an issue with the Log where all character names were in lowercase

Fixed an issue with item art sizing

Fixed some transitions where the NVL dialogue window would show abruptly instead of dissolving in

Added lines of text before scene changes to make the window transition from the phone dialogue to ADV dialogue smoother

Changed the location for the Draconid invitation scene to better fit the tone

Changed the look and feel of buttons on the title screen

Updated the Credits and About menu screens to be consistent with the rest of the game menus

Adjusted the spacing of various UI elements

Made minor adjustments to a few sprites

Changed a few sprite transitions for better impact

Added two new pieces of item art that can be found in the beach scene

Fixed some transitions to use the right color

Fixed minor typos and edited some lines of dialogue for clarity

#perihelion #game dev #visual novel #lark

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sophiebernadotte · 4 months

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"When we talk about Frederik's popularity, we also have to acknowledge that there have been quite a few mishaps"

Denmark's new regent has several scandals in his backpack.

Today, Crown Prince Frederik has entered the office he was born to, and from now on, he will have to fill the huge shoes that his mother, Queen Margrethe, is leaving behind.

These are shoes that he is predicted to be able to fill via his slightly more popular profile, who attends Smukfest and organizes the Royal Run.

But the route to where he is today has occasionally been bumpy and has left the country's new king with scratches in the paint.

There have been cases of public backlash in the 55-year-old regent's life.

- When we talk about Frederik's popularity, we also have to acknowledge that there have been quite a few mishaps, says Cecilie Nielsen, history and royal house correspondent at DR Nyheder.

Among other things, she points to the time a 20-year-old Crown Prince Frederik and 19-year-old Prince Joachim, together with two friends, drove Frederik's Peugeot 205 off the road near Cahors in France.

- It was a rather serious accident, so there was a lot of talk about whether the two princes were even allowed to drive together, Cecilie Nielsen tells about the episode, which took place in 1988.

Partner was driving drunk

And four years later, it went sideways again.

- Then there is also a New Year's party in 1992, where his girlfriend, in a drunken state, gets behind the wheel of his car, says Cecilie Nielsen.

The girlfriend at the time was Malou Aamund, who did not have a driver's license. The episode once again caused a media storm about Frederik.

- Taken for drunken driving, read the headline in B.T.

If you continue to botanize in the then crown prince's misfortune on four wheels, many probably remember when he crossed an otherwise closed Great Belt Bridge in 2015.

The IOC case is the worst

However, that is not where you find the case that has brought Frederik into the most headwinds, says royal house commentator Thomas Larsen.

- The biggest storm was the IOC case because he was also up against the political system, which simply believed that he had made a completely wrong decision.

Frederik went directly against the Danish line in the International Olympic Committee in 2016 and voted for Russia to participate in the Olympics despite extensive scandals about state-sponsored doping.

Before then, it had raised criticism that he stood up for the committee.

- In the role as king, he simply cannot get into such conflicts, says Thomas Larsen.

Especially when he no longer has Queen Margrethe as a frontline fighter, says the royal house expert.

- I think he should consider himself happy that he could stand under the protection of a very, very strong queen.

Herlufsholm and Casanova

In addition, the future regents were also on thin ice when the whole case around Herlufsholm was happening. A case which, as you know, ended with Prince Christian changing schools.

- It raised the question: Can the royal children go to a school that is part of a bullying debate when their mother has an anti-bullying campaign, says Cecilie Nielsen, which, of course, also mentions the recent case of Crown Prince Frederik's trip to Madrid, where he was photographed in the company of the Mexican model Genoveva Casanova.

- It was especially big in foreign media, says Cecilie Nielsen.

Translation of an article by Jakob Slyngborg Trolle for DR, published Jan. 14, 2024, at 18:33. The text has also been edited by me for clarity.

#danish royal family #king frederik x #crown prince frederik #royal reporting #240114 #if anyone speaks danish and notices a mistranslation please let me know and I'll change it #what I gathered from this article is that you shouldn't let Fred drive

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mmst4rz · 11 months

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'a change of mind'

"FUCKED ME SO GOOD I ALMOST SAID 'I LOVE YOU'."

about. public safety, special division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, being obligated to go, you went, but left with someone you yearned yet loathed, aki hayakawa.

pairing. toxic!aki hayakawa x fem-bodied!reader

genre. fic, explicit, angst (maybe)

things to note. toxicity (duh), nsfw themes but no smut, reader is delusional asf, drinking, h*meno and m*kima, mentions of canon typical violence, implied dubcon.

🎧 : normal fucking rockwell, lana del rey

mm's note. i was literally watching an aki edit with 'les' by childish gambino and i was like...toxic aki. (lets be fr he wouldn't ACC be toxic)

Tokyo Special Division 4 was having a welcome party for the new recruits, inviting everyone out for drinks. Originally, you had planned not to attend it to avoid him, but from Ms. Makima's orders, 'every devil hunter in the division must attend to get to know one another.'; which you found pointless because it was more than likely that most of them would be dead and gone in weeks' time. you slipped on your work pants, deep in thought. You knew you would see Aki Hayakawa there, after all he was one of the 'most trusted' devil hunters in the division and was even apart of Makima's 'special squad'.

You and Aki went years back, knowing him when he first joined public safety and when he had his hair short. Hell, even knowing him before he started his smoking habit. He was much more pure back then, despite watching his family flash before his eyes, he still had that glint of innocence reflecting off of his midnight eyes. Now he was gloomy, uninterested in everything around him besides his reason to strive, to dedicate his life to destroying the Gun Devil once and for all. His personality dimmed as well as his eyes, always staying lidded with a stern facade to hide the trauma from his cold past. After all, working in public safety, you were bound to lose your spark of clarity.

;;

To put it simply, you and Aki had an unprofessional relationship, starting out with light flirting, to late-night drinks at the best bars, to seeking out each other for comfort when work got too intense, looking for a stress reliever to wash all the horrid thoughts away. At first, he showed much love and care when you started linking, cooking breakfast for you before work, or running a bath with you while massaging your tense shoulders from the night before. He typically wouldn't do this for a link-up but he thought he cared about you more than others, and you did too.

Time went on, and he lost his desire for you, just wanting a quick fuck, not caring about your well-being as before. Now, the night typically would end with Aki shuffling to put on his clothes and leaving without a word nor a glance of acknowledgment while drawing a cigarette from his back pocket. As much as this sent warnings to avoid him in your head, you couldn't help but still be drawn to his deep midnight hair and his aura, heart yearning for more than just sex.

Aki eventually stopped responding to your advances, he ignored your late-night texts at 11pm or later, he ignored you as you tried to talk to him as he walked by, and he acted as if you were mere strangers. The devil hunter, found himself around Makima more, discussing his daily report of the latest devil to be slaughtered. Aki also found himself accompanying Himeno, taking a lengthy smoke break as she cracked some jokes to pass the time. You buttoned up your blouse more agitated than before, grimacing at the thought, shaking your head at the thought of him whispering how good you felt around him as he sunk into you, it was in the past, he didn't care like you thought he did. You slipped on your shoes before grabbing your keys, phone, and wallet and walking out the door.

;;

You walk inside, the bell clinging as you pushed the door open to one of the most familiar bars in Tokyo, the scent of alcohol charring your nostrils, leading to eyes wandering to your figure. "There she goes!" Himeno beamed as she saw you head toward the area the devil hunters resided. "Hey," you say in a neutral tone, feeling those dark eyes of his glance at you. You refused to meet his eyes, refused to fall deeper into the deep sea they withheld. "Glad you could join us," Makima says, her head resting against her palm. "Glad I could make it." you smile slightly, a lie. You sat down on the cushion between Himeno and presumably, a new devil hunter. "You can order what you'd like, the bill will be taken care of by me," Makima states as she takes a sip of her beverage. "Thank you Ms. Makima," you hum gratefully as you placed an order for your desired drink. A multitude of conversations was erupting amongst everyone at the table until Himeno slurred out, "Wait a minute, where the hell is Fushi's rookie at?" "Unfortunately, they were killed yesterday," Fushi responded. The scared faces of the rookies almost made you feel bad for them, but what could they expect? Your drink finally came out, taking a slow sip, savoring the burn it provided to your tastebuds.

The night grew older, the sun setting behind the clouds, nearly everyone was tipsy, including yourself. Some had even gone home already including Himeno as well as a new recruit named Denji. "Can we talk, outside." Aki said, clearly directing it at you. It sounded like a command and as if it was not a question. Avoiding causing a scene, you stood up, smoothing out your pants, and walked outside, him following behind you. "what do you want Hayakawa?" you glare at him, you put on a front as if you didn't care about Aki ignoring you, in reality, you wanted him back in your small apartment, laying beside you as the sun shone through the blinds, trying to sneak a few more minutes in bed before you both had to get ready for work. you attempted to avoid him to the best of your ability, which thankfully wasn't hard to do. The burning embarrassment of being let down hurt more than you'd like. The only time you had to come face to face with him is when you were paired up for missions, which in itself, was rare. Though you were not in the best state of mind at the moment, you still had enough consciousness not to tell him how you truly felt.

"You wanna come home with me?" He said, pulling out a cigarette, as well as his lighter. "For what?" you already knew the answer, but you wanted to believe differently. "To fuck, what else?" he said, putting the cigarette between his lips you wanted to kiss oh so bad. He lit the cigarette, slipping the lighter back into his back pocket, taking a deep inhale. "seriously? after ignoring me for months, you ask to fuck?" he was unbelievable. "Yea." was all Aki said, short and simple, how he preferred things. "I'm not going home with you." another lie. "we'll see" he grinned slightly, looking up at the now midnight blue sky, he didn't believe you for a second, he knew how tonight would end. You walked back into the bar, your mind racing as you thought with your brain and heart. Your heart yearned for him and his sweet touch, yet your mind was telling you to ignore him, he just wanted you for your body. you sat back down at the table where only 4 of your coworkers were left. "what happened?" one of them asked, earning a nudge from another, clearly perceiving it wasn't anything good. "nothing." you said, all you wanted to do was drink your thoughts away.

;;

Several drinks later you were spent, the sting of the booze did not help with your thoughts, just made them worse. You down the last of your drink, grabbed your things, and slurred out. "imma head home." Hearing a few words of acknowledgment from the devil hunters, you swayed out the door meeting those same midnight-blue eyes of his. "headin' home?" Aki said, puffing out a cloud of smoke. "mmhm..." you hummed out. "Let me take you there, yeah?" he said, flicking out his cigarette onto the sidewalk and crushing it under his foot.

You let him wrap his arm around your shoulder, leaning into it, cherishing it, because it didn't matter to you at that moment how long he would be there, you would cherish him as if it was the last time you'd see him, maybe it would be the last, who knew when he had a change of mind again.

#mm's works!#aki hayakawa #hayakawa aki #chainsaw man #chainsaw man x reader #aki hayawaka x reader #toxic aki hayakawa #toxic!aki hayakawa

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