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jojosbabe · 5 years

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Random polnareff headcanons

Here is some random polnareff headcanons i have.

Note: this is my interpretation of the character. And honestly sometimes i don't like how others see my fave jobro(and anime husbando) . It kinda peeves me. But enjoy these hcs.

Warning may have some deep,heavy feels ahead. May talk about some tough subjects.

Polnareff wants a family but not right away. He definitely wants at least one child. But he's never pushy for it. He'd be a good father. (And anyone who disagrees he wouldn't needs to look at his character again deeper and not just at the surface. ). The fact he never got a chance to have a proper family growing up. And the fact his father probably left his mom and his mom died at a young age. He would never wanna leave his child if he has one. He'd ultimately leave it up to you. But he does want a family and a child. He is a good man damn it! Fuck what y'all think.

He does wanna get married and settle down and chill. Especially after the crap he went through in the events of SDC. (Again why wouldn't he? It makes sense.). He would be such a loving and caring husband. Good husbando material. (Don't understand why y'all so against this? Marriage can be spiritually defined as well. Marriage is what you and your partner want it to be in my opinion. Either way i believe polnareff of all the crusaders wants a wife/spouce and kids. The others are up to debate. But polnareff i see definitely wants that.)

Polnareff is the type of guy that is great with his own kids. Loves em and cherishes them to pieces. But other people's kids are a chore at times. He is good with kids however and will take care of the kid even if he is annoyed by it, dont be fooled pol pol is a good man and would do anything to help others especially the more "innocent" of society but he complains lol.. (The fact he raised sherry on his own should give you a clue!)but he looooves his own kids to death. And i think him being a father would be a great way to add more to his character and seeing healthy dad relationships is great. Considering most of the jojo characters do no have them. And we need more of jodads,its wholesome and i don't understand why people wouldn't like to see that?!

Polnareff is a loving man and doesn't like to see you upset. Especially if he's the one who causes it! Arguments with him are often short and never last long. It's petty to let these things hurt such a loving heart of gold(or silver. Tee hee). As polnareff would say "En' amour, on pardonne" (in love,we forgive). Even in the most heated of arguments. Most of the time he catches himself and walks away before he say anything hurtful,he knows his mouth can get him in trouble and say the wrong things out of anger. But in the cases he slips up. He feels awful about hurting anyone he loves. And he will instantly apologize and make amends. He doesn't like to see you hurt. One of his fears is you leaving him because of some stupid shit he may do. He always fears of others leaving him through death or just through his own personal downfalls. He makes sure to hold himself accountable. He is a man of his word and honor. (And you can pry that from my cold dead hands!)

He is very devoted and loyal. He would never cheat, EVER!!!! (and if anyone writes him as such that is very out of character and shame on you!) He loves his s/o and would never do that to hurt them. And he would love them and make shit work. Life can be hard but there is no challenge jean pierre polnareff can't do. People give up so easy in love. Polnareff does not. he will never abandon his heart. He would never give up on you!

Chivalry is never dead with this man. He will hold the doors open,pull your chair out,take care of you when your ill. And if someone insults you. Heaven help them cuz polnareff don't tolerate disrespectful behavior. Especially to women(and anyone with she/her/feminine pronouns). He'd politely of course ask them to stop,but if not. Silver chariot might have to make them stop. (Wise words of warning. Don't piss off polnareff and hurt his beloved). He is a man of his word and there isn't a promise he doesn't make that he doesn't intend to keep. If he says forever,he means it damn it!

Polnareff would probably nickname his kids cute names. For a baby girl,probably mon' angé (my angel) for a boy probably mon' petit prince (my little prince)...excuse me, cute fluffy shit gives me the feels... *clutches heart*

He'd definitely not name his kid after sherry. Due to the trauma. And also would want her memory to live on in other ways. He had to let her soul rest and move on. So i doubt he'd name his kids after his dead sister. But instead tell his children how wonderful she was and she lives on in their dads heart and whenever they feel down. Look up at the stars,she's there,smiling as bright as ever.

Polnareff is a sweetheart. Heavy romantic. But he is confident and bold. He is a soft dom. A gentleman. And would let you take the reigns of the chariot so to speak every now and than. *eyebrow wiggles* . But he ultimately guides you and is in control for the most part. (Dunno why they wanna Make polnareff to be so dainty all the time,sure he's a gentle lover but that dont mean he can't get rough or isn't dom. Have you seen him fight?! Have you seen this man! Good god people polnareff has some oomf to him. He may be a polite gentleman with his sexy french ass but he aint no pushover! He has a commanding presence that is calm but study,like a fucking knight! Hell yeah)

Speaking of knight. He has been called that several times. He loves it. And takes great pride in that title. Much to others annoyance. Lol.

Polnareff is a good boyfriend/husbando ok? And would be a great dad. And its like he walked straight out of a romance novel you find in the back of half price books/bookstores. You know the ones on the back of your mommas/grandma's/aunties toilet? Yeah that kind. Thats him. Imagine polnareff but on that cover. Yup. Your welcome for that visual. Lol. Every girls/guys/persons dreamboat and yet some of y'all sleep on my man. Smh

All in all i hope you enjoyed these.

And i apologize in advance if i get passionate bout this. But i just love this character. And i don't like it whenever people just get him so wrong or take him only at surface level.

Anyways have a great day/night whatever time it is your way. Jojosbabe out! 💖

#i self ship with jean pierre polnareff 💖⚔#polnareff #jean pierre polnareff #polnareff x reader #polnareff hcs #jean pierre polnareff headcanons #hcs #my hcs #self ship #self shipping is the only shipping i do #self shipping #ahhhh! i just love him 🥰💋#i just have a lot of feelings

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years

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Boots reads Homestuck Epilogue(s) Part 7 - Meat Page 26

==>

Back on to Jade swimming into the singularity or something. (And trying to stop thinking that maybe Candy ends with a giant polyamorous relationship and/or orgy, because I don’t imagine Rose would have acted so tamely if that’s what she saw.)

Yes, Time is the complement of Space, that was already confirmed in comic if it wasn’t super incredibly obvious all along anyway.

Gah, I’m getting stomach cramps again.

Yeah, too much Space makes Time invisible and vice versa? Or...

Maybe Dave broke her heart a little, and he keeps doing it too, no matter how many different timelines they try out.

God damnit these CRAMPS. Reading further.

Like a garden, where Jade used to spend so much of her time with her hands in the earth and her head in the clouds, dreaming about flowers that bloomed in six colors and grew when she played them a song. Was that real? It’s hard to tell. But it made her happy, didn’t it?

FUCK are you going to start making me doubt the reality of the liFe we saw her living early in-comic????? Cut it out, it’s unsettling!

Alright, alt!Callie is taking the reins from Dirk on this narrative he so smugly thought he could completely consume. That’s good/bad.

slutty adult Jade

FUCKING YIKES!! FUCK YOU DIRK!

FUCK I DIDN’T NEED HER DEATH DESCRIBED IN SUCH DETAIL EITHER. Also alt!Callie’s really embodying Death here.

==>

Pff. Calliope’s writing the story now, in a sense, like she always kind of wanted.

Also pff, this version of her doesn’t know how to describe human stuff colorfully. :)

An adversarial dichotomy between your opposing goals, huh? This might end up as a “none of us can really write the ending” ending that DOES leave it up in the air for everyone else to decide instead.

Fuck, now you’re having THIS Jade suffer by proxy by experiencing the other Jade’s memories. This metatextual ascension’s happening to everyone isn’t it.

Yeah, she’s done it before and stuff--

when jade turns to look at roxy, her eyes are completely black.

FUCK.

my presence shall mitigate, if not altogether subdue, the corrosive effect on reality and the will of its occupants by those who would manipulate the way events are telegraphed for their own megalomaniacal objectives.

Well, fuck. Jade’s been temporarily hijacked for the rest of the story AGAIN, like back in Condesce days, this time as a plot device to keep Dirk from overreaching with his god powers and stepping over everyone’s wills like an Ultimate Riddle style villain. Dirk, I mean. Being the villain. And alt!Callie just doing what she has to to put this back on track. Man I HATE it when Jade’s will doesn’t get to be on full display. Her will is awesome. (Also, alt!Callie just tacitly confirmed that the will of reality’s occupants matters, if that wasn’t obvious already, so ha.)

despite his pretensions to a greater design, the prince of heart cannot be allowed to continue to exert unchecked control over the authoritative recitation of events on this side of my horizon. it cannot be overstated the extent to which he represents a threat to the continued existence of both this world and corporeal life itself.

Yeah, it was indeed looking that way earlier.

Ooh, alt!Callie is really spot-on with her pronoun use.

Alright, Dirk’s voice is shrinking away, and my stomach still feels half-clenched.

Wow, alt!Callie’s really mad at what Dirk’s been doing with this epilogue.

==>

“EPILOGUE FIVE”?????

Did I miss the titles for one, three, and four??? Yeah there were probably there and I just missed them or something.

Pfffff, John looks/smells like shit. :D

...too fresh??

Fuck you John for thinking Monty Python and the Holy Grail isn’t a masterpiece. :P

terezi tips her head to one side, with what john personally regards as a cute expression, one he believes is unique to her. whether he’s correct or not, it’s his belief that there is no one else who emotes in this manner. it’s both quizzical and mocking, two descriptors that he considers to be an apt summation of her personality as well.

Niiiiice. Nice linguistic description of her “>:?” expression.

have no desire to interject thoughts into others’ minds, or to sway intent. nor do i see value in masking the reality of the emotions that i transcribe. this is how he feels. his mind, however, has made a habit of being less clear about his thoughts than i am willing to be.

Oh thank fucking god, I don’t have to question everyone’s thoughts anymore. Until Dirk comes back or something, I dunno.

Oh my fucking god, alt!Callie, you total voyeuristic nerd.

he fears he is in danger of seeming like the type of creepy human male who is likely to collect large pillows bearing the illustrated images of japanese earth females. to me, this idea means nothing. but it is causing him to sweat.

This is one very relatable snippet of text.

Feed Terezi Feed Terezi Feed Terezi

WHY is the gold tooth poisonous??????? ...Wait, Caliborn affixed it to his mouth intentionally. He had every right and motive to make it poisonous for no good reason. Ugh.

Beep beep, let’s find Vriska.

==>

WHAT

WHAT JANE

WHAT THE FLYING FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

JESUS

Using Trickster Mode as a drug to further one’s political performance. That’s fucking horrifying. No wonder it was on the triggers list.

additionally, it prevents one from dwelling on any given personal problems, or the greater implications of any political statements one might make.

Pff, mhmm.

Problematic, huh? Jane seems like the slightly-old-fashioned sort of person who thinks it’s getting kind of ridiculously silly how much people are caring about stuff being “problematic”. And yet that stuff DOES matter, and ignoring it DOES hurt people, and she not only isn’t seeing that but is drugging herself to see it LESS with that goddamned lollipop. Holy shit.

she turns around promptly, her body jolted by the surprise of her sudden reversal. she bends over, cradles the lollipop reverentially, and situates it carefully in a place signifying respect: atop the mantle, after clearing space for it by shoving several brittle, worthless objects to the floor.

PFFF. Okay, so alt!Callie ISN’T above altering characters slightly from their narrative course when it comes to one of the few things she deems important. Heh.

Having “his control of a shared vehicle fully suppressed”, huh? Does alt!Callie only mean the narrative, or maybe Rose too with whatever weird bullshit he did to her?

Uh, “while the seer both diminishes and ascends”??? D:

--Oh, oh shit. He was planning to NARRATIVE CONTROL Jake into going along with things. D: D:

Yeah, Jake would want to bang all the aliens, really.

Sendificator rifle, or something like that. Got it.

==>

How fucking long is this epilogue, anyway????? I mean, the length is appropriate from an objective point of view, I’m just frustrated because I’m going to have to spend every waking hour liveblog-reading it until I’ve reached the end or I’m likely to fucking explode, and I didn’t want this to be my entire day/weekend/existence again AAGH HOMESTUCK YOU BLACK HOLE

anyway yaay karkat in a suit.

Alluding to assassination attempts? What, is that red rifle going to try and fulfill that old “through the silver screen and straight into my heart” unused foreshadowing-herring from act six, or five, or whenever it was? Five, I believe.

Pff, super pacs, yeah. Dave’s nearly as political as me now or something. Except he actually acts on it here instead of just sitting around talking about it and thinking he’s right all the time, like me.

Wait, JANE ACTUALLY WENT THROUGH with smearing Jake??!??? Holy shit she’s lost touch.

KARKAT: SWEET BRO AND HELLA JEFF IS ABSOLUTELY HORRENDOUS SUBJECT MATTER FOR PRODUCING CAMPAIGN ADS! KARKAT: NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT, OR WHAT POINTS YOU’RE TRYING TO MAKE! DAVE: yeah its awesome

Pfffff.

...yeah, Jake isn’t thinking of ANYTHING except Dirk right now, really.

Oh huh, Dirk HAS been as controlling of Jake as he used to be, now that alt!Callie’s pointing it out. Just with an even more insidious mechanism.

Oh cool, Karkat’s version of the policy pitch! :D :D :D Can’t wait can’t wait reading

(dont lie karkat you totally know shes hot)

Pff, stop making it seem obvious that Dirk wanted to assassinate Jake for political purposes. Heck, even if that WAS his plan it’d just be a temporary death that he’d resurrect from and then they’d try to turn it into... what, some media spin on how Karkat might have been responsible? Or a troll?? That latter part would make things MUCH more xenophobic. I’m starting to get seriously into the politics of this.

==>

Pff, now ‘rezi’s eating tobacco.

...okay, is Terezi REALLY going to go for a real conversation with just an honest ask for one? I don’t think so--

--aaand there she goes laughing, as expected. At least at first.

Yep, Terezi’s wearing the shoes. Nice date gift.

--And yep, Terezi remembers all that. She managed to do the nigh-metatextual mind merge with her other selves WITHOUT even needing God-Tier.

Yeah, Vriska always seemed fit to abandon the kismesis you deserved when it suited her, ‘rezi. :(

JOHN: even worse, i might have tried to fix things MYSELF! TEREZI: OH D34R GOD JOHN: yeah!!!

Yeah I cackled out loud at that.

TEREZI: 34RTH C 1S P3RF3CT 1SNT 1T? TEREZI: BUT NOT FOR YOU TEREZI: YOU DONT *F33L* 1T

john swallows a thick breath. he reminds himself that he never wanted perfection, never asked for it. and yet he feels guilty every day for failing to enjoy it as much as he believes he was supposed to.

Holy shit. John’s survivor’s guilt from all the doomed timelines he witnessed and escaped is keeping him from feeling their victory has been real, and making his “squandering” of it gut his self-esteem too. God damnit.

Roxy and John wouldn’t have worked out????? Hey Terezi, quit it! >:[ That’s not fair, just very plausibly and authoritatively dismissing a ship we’d hoped for offscreen like-- Oh, shit, she’s alluding to something that happened in the Candy side I haven’t read isn’t she. She would DEFINITELY have an idea of what happened on the other side of that Choice Split with her hero role. Fuck what am I in for

....pfff, that Callie vs Dirk bit. It’s like revenge against Doc Scratch, which it kind of IS, really.

I didn’t expect this much time to be spent dwelling on really intimate John/Terezi scenes. It’s really refreshing! Making this kind of meaningful no matter whether it’s black or inexplicably red they end up with or whatever, and equally meaningful if they don’t end up in any sort of relationship at all, really.

even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life.

Alt!Callie, are you causing this? I thought you wanted to be impartial.

Okay, THAT finally brought things suitably closer to the black side of romance like I would have expected.

==>

their finger hovers over dirks number for a moment, but... no. that would not be a good idea. they don’t know why they suddenly think it’s a bad idea. it just is.

Okay, THAT shred of influence is fair. You DID say you were going to countermand his influence, so yeah.

Good excuse to get narration of her thoughts, if flimsy. :)

Lord save me from this fake woke nightmare.

Pfffff. Fuck you, Dirk. ;)

ROXY: guess ill just open the damn curtains and let some light in here

FUCK you’re going to kill JADE aren’t you???? You’re giving Jade a TEMPORARY DEATH just to deny alt!Callie’s proxy?!?? That’s fucking insidious! Fuck you, Dirk!!! That one wasn’t a loveable joke this time, that was an ACTUAL fuck you. This epilogue is really good at making him out to be the villain now that his powers have expanded to the narrative.

Reading reading reading...

...Huh. Is Roxy talking about coming out as non-binary and getting advice on it? Hm!

Alright, and she’s defs a little gay for Callie from what she’s saying if it wasn’t clear before. If “gay” even has any relevance when you’re talking about a pair of non-binary... yeah whatever. :)

Alright, time to hear Dave talk about it all some more I guess.

--Yep, he’s only mostly gay. Called it. There’s a whole spectrum.

...and yeah, I mean... why NOT let it go beyond quadrants with Karkat and never slap an official label on it? You’re just two people who love each other and want to spend time together in any capacity, be it positive or negative. It doesn’t have to result in anything formal unless you want it to, much less boning down or something. Dirk, stop getting creepy with how hard you’re shipping them, that’s the fanbase’s job.

Jade and Roxy are visible from this location, right? Wasn’t it mentioned that they live in a tower in Carapaceville or whatever? Has Dirk successfully conned alt!Callie into having her vessel shot through? Probably.

the ongoing corruption of his cerebrally impaired daughter.

Eewwwwweweewww

Anyway yeah here comes the plot twist or whatever...

Yeah, Callie gets it wrong, and--

......ah, a tranq? That makes more sense and is more than slightly less evil, if still ultimately evil given his eventual presumed goals or whatever.

DIRK: Like the bitch she is.

FUCK YOU

Oh, Jade’s going to be asleep for the rest of the story? AGAIN?!???? FUCK YOU SO MUCH, DIRK.

Jesus christ. How long is this epilogue anyway.

Taken your leave? From this planet??? What the fuck, are you--

Oh. Oh shit.

When Dirk ascended into absorbing the memories of all his various split selves, did he get a heaping helping of DOC SCRATCH in there too??? Was Doc Scratch’s ambition actually for POST-victory ascension in this very manner? FUCK. Either way, him sharing some of those memories puts a pretty unique spin on his descent into goddamn evil, here.

Reading on... oh shit, did Callie write the candy half??

==>

Huh, postcoital; we actually went there. Cool.

Ah, she gives up on Vriska? Better find Vriska really fast, then.

Oh, you’re really going? Or, trying, anyway.

==>

Really committed to this whole ascending to literal godhood schtick, aren’t you, Dirk?

(Hm. Makes me almost think that this situation with Rose is going to end up with someone splitting her essence entirely in two to save her; her raw Seer-ness getting forced into a convenient vessel (cueball, wonk wonk) and herself returning to consciousness a slight bit more mortal than she was before, ie not going completely insane. Hmm.)

Oh, “Vast Fuck” sorta-maybe-confirmed..??

Stop tacitly insulting Jake as you puppet him, Dirk. He’s a dumbass but not THAT much of a dumbass.

beta-bitch

FUCK YOU, DIRK.

She loves you, Jake, more than anything, and you toyed with her heart.

Fuuuuuuck you.

could subsume your entire personality

Shit, he IS trying to pretty much consume them all. Swallow their individuality and take total control of all their actions. All Prince of Heart on the whole world. Dirk you need to fucking DIE.

And to love Dirk is to obey him.

There isn’t a Fuck You large or loud enough to what I feel about the mental violation Dirk is inflicting on Jake right now, and everyone else around him, and I sincerely and selfishly hope this epilogue is almost over because I don’t want too many pages to stand between this one and seeing Dirk fucking PAY.

Jake opens his big, dumb mouth to make the only important contribution to the plot he ever has or ever will make in his whole sad, pointless joke of a life.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOU

Let’s hope that in your hubris your looking away managed to let him say something different or some such.

==>

You try to remember if you’ve ever been revived by Jane before. You honestly can’t recall. So much shit has happened. Maybe?

Yeah, I don’t recall either really.

The poison needling through you is antithetical to narrative relevance. You’re not dying, John. You’re being erased. Cherubs don’t fuck around. We’ve both been learning that the hard way.

Okay, fuck? How the hell? Is this just because Dirk says it is, or???

I guess it’s tragic, though maybe not in the conventional sense. My view is, the real tragedy with you, John, is that you never mattered all that much.

Yeah, Dirk’s first fucking rant when he took over the narrative officially was about John being a you-insert nobody average guy, and the DISDAIN he shows to everything about who John is is pretty goddamn insulting. He has NO concept of how John managed to bring everyone together or... UGH!

even though you knew both then and now that it was the only choice you possibly could have made.

Dammit, so it probably WASN’T a full timeline-bisecting Mind split. Just a side branch that wasn’t as likely, because just like with his Denizen, John’s will was tilted toward this part of the choice. D:

I see how some of this seems to be going, or at least think I do... Dirk thinks that John needs to die heroically “for the good of the story”, and something’s potentially going to come in and say “no”? That the whole reason they WON was to essentially be free of that cruel logic once and for all, and that Dirk is gonna get one hell of a smackdown for trying futilely to enforce it in their new post-victory domain??

She listens to him bleed while she smells him die.

--That, and fulfilling bits of foreshadowing for shits and giggles. >:(

Huh, “friable”, didn’t even know that was a word. Just looked it up; you learn something new every day.

Okay what is Dirk planning with the fucking body.

==>

Jane swept the election, of course. I told you I was going to win. After Jake’s incoherent and scandalous heel-turn at Karkat’s ill-fated rally, no amount of esoteric, three-dimensional jpeg artefacts could have salvaged the Vantas campaign.

Ah, but is that what REALLY happened, or what you’re saying happened, about to be overwritten?

Mainly that their BFF Jade has been in a coma for an entire month. They’ve been in and out of the hospital handling her affairs. Her next of kin is listed as John Egbert, and no one’s seen him in ages. It’s like he just disappeared suddenly. Like some great hand came out of the sky and crossed his name off the big list of guys we ever need to give a shit about anymore.

F U C K Y O U

Roxy, after all, and since her big heart-to-heart about the personal politics of queer onion metaphors, and ten stages of galaxy-braining through the many vicissitudes of the phrase “no homo,” Roxy has decided to really step up her gender experimentation. I guess at this point she’s gone beyond Stage Ten. Which I imagine is somewhat like reaching Super Saiyan 2 of gender, and then going even further beyond.

Holy crap, she’s going full Dave Lalonde. That’s pretty sweet.

...Isn’t Terezi like obviously covered in blood and stuff?

ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

Oh my fucking GOD real!Callie please save the plot. Nuke this self-indulgent Dirkshit.

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um ROXY: nudity???? TEREZI: >:? ROXY: yeah yikes ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit ROXY: anyway thats kept callie kinda busy

...This is an allusion to the Candy side I haven’t read, isn’t it? Maybe THAT’s part of what she supplants this bullshit with. Or since it mentions “various combinations”, she’s restoring the possibility to everything that the ending was supposed to have?

This is potentially a real fucking indictment of the idea of a narrative-driven ending when what actually mattered was the characters’ escape from said narrative. :)

ROXY: its like theyre traumatized ROXY: and they think ill drag whatever possessed jade back into our home with me

Okay fuck maybe Callie ISN’T helping. Maybe she’s just so worried about the alternate history she could have lead that she’s retreating into every Candy-like fanfic she can think of. :(

What’s with the phone buzz? The intervention we’ve been hoping for, since Dirk’s making her ignore it?

Oh cool, figures Terezi’s been hearing the narrative all along and just politely not acknowledging the fact that she hears it! Maybe SHE’LL help unfuck this mess. (And according to her, Roxy’s gone full “him” too!)

Fuck fuck fuck Terezi don’t listen to him go against his bullshit instead

Where, canon? Is that where you’re planning to escape back to or some such, with yourself as the author? Is that orange Andrew actually you or some BS?

Dammit.

==>

FUCK, “new body”????

The new body I’ve made for her won’t have much use for her usual ensembles. That’s all I was saying.

FUCK FUCK FUCK it IS the cueball isn’t it. Holy shit. That’s even worse than a robot. FZUCZK

Okay calm down. The Rose part of Rose can be cut away and rescued from this fate somehow, if she isn’t just whole-hog rescued entirely which would also be good. FUCK DIRK

...look purple? What?

DIRK: What’s happening here is the best thing for everybody.

Yeah, go fuck yourself. This shit had better be undone soon.

To finally face the truth. If Rose has been spending more time with me than you, if she’s realizing she resonates more with me due to our natural similarities and finds my presence more rewarding than yours, then what does that say about YOU, Kanaya?

PFFFF. YOU’RE GONNA BREAK UP THE PAIRING JUST SO YOU CAN STEAL HER? HAHAHAHAHAHA NO.

Okay, after THAT page’s last bit of horrid manipulation, this can’t end in any way that doesn’t involve ages of existential and literal torment for Dirk, forever.

==>

Epilogue Seven, huh. One last thing he wants to take care of before getting out of dodge, huh. I see Karkat and Dave’s text colors on screen. Is he going to try to force them to finally bone down or confess? This would be the perfect place for his plan to get fucking stopped.

Homestuck, stop making my fucking stomach clench so hard.

That’s a hell of a disaster Dirk thought up for these guys on that stage.

Part of this whole shitshow might be to tell us that this ending, this “fanfic” of dubious authenticity of an epilogue that Dirk is giving us is how DIRK believes it would end best for everyone involved, but not how everyone else would, ignoring their wills... while also discarding the idea of the epilogue that any individual reader of Homestuck would want in favor of the possibilities he meant to leave open with the ending.

Alright, here comes Dirk NOT forcing them to bone down but rather trying to persuade-brainwash them into a relationship talk.

DAVE: so what youre saying is you believe in me who believes in you

Dave. Please.

Hey, the Gurren Lagaan reference went WAY too long unsaid. Even if Andrew literally didn’t know a thing about said anime when he made the character designs.

I look Dave right in his mind’s eye and tell him to cut it the fuck out. He wants it, you want it, so just go for it, my man. It’s now or never.

DAVE: oh DAVE: same

I feel every brain cell in my immortal body begin to perish in real time.

BAAHAHAHAAHHhahahha FUCK YOU Dirk.

I mean, I want Dave and Karkat together as much as the next guy but FUUUUUUUCK YOU DIRK!!! I want everything you ever wanted to go wrong and shit on you. Their equivocating soft-nearly-mance is strong enough to go even against you, who thinks yourself the narrative fucking Sun.

Oh this is fantastic

I’ve literally been decapitated and that was less unbearable than this.

YES KEEP FALLING APART

You see that twinkle? That’s devotion, you unbelievably dense neutron star of a dumbshit.

Nice callback to... what was it, Dave’s first rant at Tavros to troll him back or whatever?

radially effervescing kaleidoscope of more hot boy peckers than you could ever imagine.

Yep, DEFINITELY a callback to that. I’ll never forget the sick flow of that metaphor.

DAVE: i just keep having thoughts i know id never think

SAVE US DAVE

Dammit, near miss.

The privilege of a Strider Eye Moment is about the most earth-shattering experience a young man will ever have in his life.

Pfff

DAVE: GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD AND JUST LET ME DO THIS MYSELF!!!

yaaaaaayyy

I mean we didn’t save the whole story yet but at least Dirk got fucked over and we still get Davekat intimacy.

That’s pretty classy actually, not getting into detail and just sounding blown the fuck away by it even though he’s Dirk. That’s pretty good.

==>

Something about the height of Rose, roughly Rose-shaped, and wrapped in a cloth. I know she’s gonna love it the first time she sees it.

Oh so it IS a robot body. Well, fuck you a little less than it potentially being the magic cueball, but STILL fuck you.

I may have already mentioned, but I’m a bit too deft at this for my own good. Doing the thing where I tug at the part of someone’s latent thought process that already knows they adore me. That if someone would just pull the stops from their sense of inhibition, they’d realize they would do anything for me.

It’s called killing their soul with your role abilities you ASSHOLE

I hope this crush you filled him with bites you in the fucking ass now that he’s here.

DIRK: I won’t be coming back, Jake.

Oh, so you’re just going to drop the truth on him like that? Let’s see how that works out for you, asshole.

DIRK: Jane needs you now more than ever.

Oh fuck you. This is “best for everyone”, huh?????

DIRK: You’ll just be, you know. DIRK: Her candy boy? JAKE: CANDY BOY??? DIRK: Yeah. Being on call. DIRK: Serving a multimillion-year term of giving her the right kind of “presidential action” she needs to keep going. To keep her morale up and such. DIRK: To provide her with many heirs. DIRK: Doesn’t that sound cool? JAKE: HEIRS??

Um. What the fuck? Is this even Dirk anymore? It’s not Condesce intervention, I’m not going to try and suspect that just from the callback or anythiiiii-----

Fuck, we DID just get an alive Meenah dropped into a universe somewhere.

Maybe this IS Condesce intervention. Just a different Condesce. o_O

Two ticks longer than he ever deserved.

Gah???

DIRK: But I’ll never let you break my heart again.

So this was all just revenge for dumping him??????????????

==>

Guh, back to Kanaya-- wait, why does Dirk want Terezi around, anyway?

Jade wakes up and then-- Okay. Okay my eyes flitted down to the green halfway down the page and I saw this phrase before I actually got to it.

JADE: DIRK STRIDER HAS TO BE STOPPED!!!!!!!!!!

Thank FUCK.

Anyway reading the in-between...

The scope of her awareness, she now understands, is truly staggering. Memories are suddenly accessible that are almost impossible to believe. Some of them are unspeakably marvelous to her. Others, deeply disturbing.

FUCKING COOL she got Ultimate-Selved! Now she knows too much about what’s going on to stop her! Get fucked, Dirk!!!!

No, more than just disturbing. She lingers in the dark recesses of her consciousness. There were things she saw, things she was told... Her mouth twists into a silent snarl. She’s been angry plenty of times before. But never so angry that she stopped being cute. She’s not cute this time.

YEAAAAAHHH JADE GET ANGRY

This had better not be Dirk intentionally riling her up since he still has control of the narrative though.

Next post.

#Homestuck #Homestuck Epilogue #upd8 #Homestuck Liveblog #bladekindeyewear #BlastYoBoots

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void-official · 5 years

Text

“Micro-identities/’Mogai/ya’ll literally just be making shit up now” OK. i’m sorry im stuck on this and this is the last i’ll talk about it today bc fuck it. I’m gonna be Real for a second. And it’s going to be awkward, and it’s going to be long, and I’m gonna Lose Follower bc defending micro-labels is Cringe. Whatever. I get it. go ahead and unfollow. The rest of you who actually care. and in the spirit of Pride Month, as someone who feels like they’re almost never allowed to express Pride in who I am? Here we go.

I’m bi. Most of you can probably tell, im not exactly subtle about it.

I’m bi. But

my actual interest in dating or having sex with Anyone has been pretty much negligible for my entire life. I just don’t Care. I never have. Dating and sex seem like a hassle to me and I don’t feel like i’m particularly missing out by not taking part in them. It doesn’t negate my enjoyment of peoples bodies necessarily, nor does it mean I never get crushes on people it just means at the end of the day, my desire to go out there and find people to have sex with and/or date has always been like. really really low. Even if the opportunity was there. And i’ve come to terms with this. I accept this about myself.

There is actually a great deal of overlap between bi and ace identity. all those ‘weird little terms’ like ‘demisexual’ you guys hate so much were originally created for people like me, who feel like they are fundamentally not allowed to call themselves something straightforward like ‘bi’ (or straight/gay/lesbian) without people inevitably screaming at them for Doing It Wrong. So they can describe how they feel in a brief word, instead of having to go through the pains of explaining the complex relationship they have with sexual attraction to every fucking person who asks what their sexuality is.

saying ‘well you should just be able to say bi and leave it at that’ doesn’t actually account for the experiences i have when i Just Say i’m Bi. Even me Just Saying ‘im bi’ i’ve always gotta deal with harassment from people whoget weirdly agressive about -why- i’m not out there fucking or dating the people i claim im attracted to. Am I a prude? a Tease? Just an ‘Acey’ lying for brownie points? Am I Actually Just Traumatized? (They ask in a really aggressive condescending way, like thats actually how you should talk to someone you think is potentially traumatized) But by the standards of this discourse, i’m not allowed to call myself ace either, because then people are going to yell at me that if I experience the tiniest smidgen of sexual attraction or romantic inclination sometimes, or post pictures of sexy video game characters, clearly i cant be that either I literally can’t win. there is not a thing I can call myself that won’t earn me the ire of LGBT people on tumblr who think they know me and what i should call myself better than I do. And believe me i hate talking about this More than you do. I’d rather just shut up and let people Assume i’m whatever they want me to be sometimes but then mutuals i thought i trusted will inevitably openly make fun of the people who outwardly call themselves demisexual or whatever microlabel is trendy to shit on currently, and usually i bite my tongue cause at the end of the day its Just Words, right? I don’t even use that word, right? Its just words and some words can be interchangeable and not everyone knows what they mean which can feel alienating and unnecessary to people who don’t understand them. I -get- why people ‘cringe’ when they see like 10 terms they don’t understand in someones bio. why do you think i don’t even list anything about my sexuality in mine other than my pronouns?

but I always remember like. just bc that label isnt For Me, it doesn’t mean there might be someone in a similar position to me who doesnt feel comfortable just calling themeslves bi, and prefers the label ‘demisexual biromantic’ who feels like that phrase puts them in a place of peace and contentment, and I wouldn’t argue with them about it. Bc thats their fucking choice. Them being happy with who they are takes priority over my personal opinions of the language they use. same with gender nonconforming people who dont want call themselves trans or nonbinary. Thats fucking Fine. I’m not telling you to have to use the same words as me if you don’t feel like they’re necessary or accurate. I literally don’t give a rats ass what words you use to identify yourself so long as they’re not being used to hurt other people. I just want to be able to have Words, for myself, that describe how I feel, that don’t result in people treating my entire identity like some shitty discourse Meme. And right now I have none. No matter what I call myself, people choose tell me it’s not accurate, or its too complicated.

As for all these shitty fucking posts about people ‘forcing’ young people to take up labels. This. This doesn’t actually happen? (OK I won’t say it doesn’t happen ever on an individual level? but that its not something enforced or encouraged by any group as a practice, and that distinction is necessary, bc saying it happens on a large scale literally implies predatory intentions from a massive group of people instead of members of the group behaving poorly as individuals)

Demisexual people as a whole have literally never told me i had to call myself demi just bc my sense of how i experience attraction might be similar to theirs. Ace people as a whole don’t usually tell people whose lack of sexual attraction is caused by trauma or who havent developed enough to experience sexual attraction that they -have- to call themselves ace. Most Bi or Pan people are fine with the fact that their labels have a lot of overlap and that the line between these things can be murky, they arent actually constantly ready to tear each others throats out over whose terminology is correct. All of this shit is made up by hateful people, or people taking a few examples of poor behavior out of context as an excuse to shit on everyone else, and well meaning people keep falling for it bc it -seems- helpful to be. reactive. I guess? to people you’re constantly told are hurtful to the causes of marginalized people. but im telling you. its not true. literally nobody forces you to call yourself any of these words, they just Exist out there in case you want them, and if you think thats somehow a threat to other peoples identities or to Minors just like, conceptually, for existing, for being Too Specific, im sorry but what other word is there for your reaction than phobic? If an individual derails a conversation about Y to be like “You didn’t include _X_” or tries to force their views on a minor who hasn’t developed a stable sense of identity yet, that is an Individual behaving in an inappropriate manner, not an invitation for you to throw the whole group under the bus. I hate to tell you but if you’re using examples of individuals on tumblr who say stupid shit, everyone on tumblr says stupid shit and butts in conversationally where they’re not welcome. Universally. It’s how tumblr is formatted. Trust me, I have like 4 viral posts going right now.

i’m just tired of it at this point. im not cool with people who stretch to make fun of micro-labels all the time and think they’re being woke allies or w/e to the ‘real LGBTs’. Even if a lot of the time I personally don’t care for all the labels and wouldn’t choose them for myself, I still feel like If you can’t treat people like individuals and assess their character on a case by case basis, i don’t trust you. I don’t like people who stereotype and LGBT people are not immune to this behavior. Like i don’t say it often but it fucking hurts, and it hurts other people I’m close to who I know have similar complicated identities and struggle coming up w/words to describe themselves that the whole of tumblr LGBT+ will approve of and agree with (clearly an impossibility because there are still people who don’t want bi and trans to even be in there). I might tolerate the constant jokes and not block on principle of knowing not everyone has ingested and thought about this discourse in the same way I have, and im a big tough adult, ultimately i can take it. but inside i know no matter what i call myself, if i were earnest with some of you about how i feel I’d probably be just another ‘special snowflake Delusional mogai creep’ to you, and i can’t deny that fucking hurts to think about. I try not to talk about it openly bc it embarrasses me, bc i dont think my sexuality should have to be battle ground for discourse for people who are supposed to be on my side. But there it is. I think most of this discourse is Trash, and clearly not for the reason most people on here say its trash, not bc theres ‘too many specific words, y’all just be Making Shit Up’ but because so many of you are more caught up in the words than the substance of the arguments or the needs of people whose experiences might have a lot of overlap with yours regardless of what word they’re using to describe it.

Anyway. happy pride to LGBTQA+ people who still dont really feel pride in themselves or their identity. I’d say you’re valid, but you don’t need my validation or anyone elses to understand that you’re a person deserving of respect and compassion. You exist as who you are, and you have to come to terms with who that is, regardless of whether or not you feel like you’re accepted for it. if not pride then, settle for confidence in who you are.

#........./#....../#././#././/./#/././..#long post

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sarahmariepoet · 5 years

Text

Living life

I have to say this because it's important: I am a woman. I am not broken. I am myself. I am not going anywhere. I am free. I am free to be me. I love myself. I love who I am. I am not cisgender. I am transgender and I love myself. I am proud of myself and who I am and who I am becoming. My depression and anxiety do not define me. I love myself.

With all this said, one of my biggest dreams has always been to be able to get pregnant. I would love to be able to carry a child in me. Unfortunately, the body I have is not physically able to do this.

Although science is making more discoveries in regards to gender and bodies in gender, the ability to put a womb--and safely conceive and carry a child to full term and have the child safely--in my body is a long way off. This means that, more then likely, I will never be able to conceive a child.

This doesn't mean I'm any less a woman though. There are cis women who are unable to conceive children. They aren't any less women then a woman who is able to have children.

With that said, yes, it was something I struggled with for years. I couldn't fathom transitioning only to never have a cis body and be unable to fulfill this need that I still struggle with.

The truth of the matter was that I couldn't perceive being happy by transitioning. It wasn't that I only wanted to be pregnant, it was that I wanted to be happy. Being a cis female wouldn't make me happy if I still had to deal with depression and anxiety, which wouldn't magically disappear either.

This is something that I have had to consider and deal with while I am transitioning. Is coming out at work making me happy? To my family? To my friends? Not completely. Being honest with myself and coming out to me is making me happy. Yes, transitioning privately and publicly helps with that, but I started admitting this to myself fully prior to the hormones and prior to coming out publicly. Yes, I took hormones prior to publicly coming out, but that was my choice based on dealing with myself and realizing what was best for me.

What is making me happy is being honest with myself. I am far more happy with myself being myself. I had this discussion with my family recently. I can't continue to pretend to be a man. It physically and mentally hurts and drains me to pretend in such a way. Everytime I'm forced to pretend another part of me dies.

I may not be a cis woman but to pretend that I am not a woman hurts me more deeply in my soul then any other lie I've ever told or been told. To tell that lie literally sets me down a path of depression and anxiety, a path that would have ultimately led to my death.

This is important to mention because everytime someone calls me 'sir' it makes me wonder and question if I'm enough. Am I doing enough? Am I a fraud? I know I'm not and that I'm a woman but I still wonder. I wonder because of a lack of self esteem. I wonder because what if I'm not enough? What if I thought I could do this but I find I can't? Yes, I love myself and yes I'm strong but am I strong enough? Can I do this? Can I be myself?

I want to say yes but what if I'm wrong and what if those suicidal thoughts come back? The truth is that they never truly left. They're there in the back of mind haunting me because I don't know what to do besides to live as myself and hope that I find this happiness and love that has alluded me so.

Everytime someone calls me my birth name this darkness, this depression, reminds me I'm not good enough. Everytime someone mentions they know I'm transgender in a negative light. Everytime someone gives me pitying looks. Everytime I'm treated differently to a cis woman. Everytime someone makes a comment that I'm 'clearly a man'. Everytime someone shakes my hand roughly but wouldn't do so with a cis woman. Everytime people ignore me in conversations. Everytime I die a little inside.

These are real feelings that I experience because of this inability to be myself. These are issues I struggle with. This isn't meant to be stated for pity though. No, this is to point out that saying and doing these things can and will negatively impact others. I know not everyone can understand what transgender people go through. Understand though that we want to be treated with respect.

Calling me my preferred name but treating me like a man doesn't help either though. I've seen how people look at me and how they react to my presence and though there are people I know that have been positive there are certainly negative interactions as well.

The next time you see a transgender person in the bathroom act normally. They probably aren't interested in causing a scene or causing any issues any more then you are. You know what they want? To pee and poop in peace. That's it. Go in there, do your business, wash and dry your hands, then leave. That's what they want too.

Conversation in restrooms is fine--if that's what you do normally--but don't treat them differently and, certainly, dont leave the bathroom immediately upon seeing them in there or refuse to do anything and stare them down until they leave. That's just awkward for everyone.

The same goes for names and pronouns. You wouldn't bring up a married (or divorced) woman's old name, right? So why bring up a transgender person's birth/dead name? Whether they have changed it legally yet or not, respect their name. It's important because it helps them identify as themselves and not how they had to pretend to portray before. Help make them comfortable and happy.

As for pronouns, it's the same thing. Imagine that you wake up one day and everyone is using the wrong pronouns for you, despite you telling them the correct ones. They just refuse to use the right ones! Wouldn't that make you upset? Wouldn't that cause you distress?

Now, we are all aware that mistakes may happen. Don't make a huge deal over tiny mistakes. Either apologize and move on or commit (privately) to yourself to do better. Don't make a huge scene either. That just makes it worse and places them on the spot.

Above all else treat the transgender person just as you would any other person of their gender. This means treat a transgender man (someone identifying as a man) as you would treat any other man, a transgender woman (someone identifying as a woman) as you would treat any other woman, and a nonbinary person as you would treat any other human being.

For example, women have a certain way that they speak to and treat other women. Cis women, don't treat a transgender woman any differently. Help her out, offer her advice respectfully and privately (or in a group of other women if appropriate), let her know if her skirt rode up, ask her if she's okay or if she needs a hug. Don't hesitate to help her out when and if she needs it. Notice her bra strap is showing? Let her know discreetly. Her tag hanging out from the back of her shirt? Let her know or tuck it in discreetly just as you would for a cis woman. These are all things cis women have done for other women and a transgender woman is no different.

The same can be said for how you should treat transgender men and nonbinary people. Treat them as you would anybody and respect them and their identities. Don't hesitate to treat people as you normally would, regardless of how they identify, and treat them as you would anyone else who identifies the same.

I think the importance here is not treating someone differently just because they're different than you. A transgender person may not have had the same experience as you in behaving how they're gender identity behaves but that doesn't mean they are any less a part of their gender identity. It's important to remember that they're actively trying to be themselves and may not even know what that means yet.

If they're on hormones, like I am, there may be times they say or do something stupid. Anytime hormones get involved there is a chance a person will act differently then you're used to them acting. The same can be said about any big change though. This doesn't mean you need to give them space though. Giving someone too much space after you've been close or treating them a certain way then suddenly treating them differently can have a negative impact as well.

For example, I am very intune to the emotional state of those around me. If someone suddenly treats me different, I am far more likely to take it personal and wonder what I did wrong. Sometimes this is helpful and sometimes this is detrimental.

Not everyone has an issue with--or even cares--about what one person does. With that said, there are times you can tell how one person is treated differently to everyone else and figure out why. I think this happens because people don't know how to treat transgender people. How do you handle someone who changes everything you thought you knew about them?

How does that affect you? Short answer. It doesn't. People change all the time. The difference is you thought this person was one gender and it turns out you were wrong. That's scary, right? Now imagine it from their perspective. They don't want to be the center of attention. I know I didn't and still don't.

Now imagine having to change at work, at school, coming out to family, worrying about name changes and gender markers on IDs, whether or not health insurance will cover normally-gendered medical issues (e.g. testicular or ovarian cancers) if you change your gender marker, being thrown out of businesses, their home, losing their jobs, or even being killed for being transgender. Do you accept these risks and no longer lie or cover up your identity for the chance to be happy by admitting and being yourself?

These are all things that transgender people have to consider and go through. So yes, my name is Sarah and I'm transgender and I want to be and am happy. It's not perfect. I'm not perfect. This is my life and it's certainly not perfect but it is my life. And you know what? I'm living it.

#transisbeautiful #transgender #trans pride #lgbtqa #lgbtpride #lgbtq community #lgbtq #lgbt rights

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nocvil · 5 years

Photo

* ‐ ․ ↺ 𝙄𝙉𝙏𝙍𝙊𝘿𝙐𝘾𝙄𝙉𝙂 . . . ｓｏｏｂｏｇｕｍ . hitman . caretaker . the heel . a masked hell .

❝ my love , my love , my love , won't you stay a while ? ❞

possible tw’s below: parental death mention, illness mentions, murder for hire mentions, and uh m,,, i think that’s it rlly. just warning ok.

GENERAL INFO

full name: soo bogum ( 수 보검 ). nickname(s): bo, sweetie pie to his mother (: gender & pronouns: cismale, he/him. sexual & romantic orientation: aromantic, demisexual. age & dob: twenty-five, november 8th, 19-- birthplace/hometown: seoul, sk. parents/siblings: only child, deceased father, living mother. pet(s): absolutely not LOL. astrological sign: scorpio. >:-) dominant hand: both! handwriting style: mostly writes in very slanted cursive. i feel like when you see things like royal documents signed or very important letters written back in the day with that vintage cursive ... that would be bogum. language(s) known/spoken: spanish, english, korean. religion: LOL. ok. current living arrangements: a two-bedroom, two bath apartment complex with his older, npc mother. it is pretty spacious given they both have their own room, a kitchen, dining space, their own bathrooms, and a patio. bo has the money if you kno what i mean ... (: occupation/major: hitman.

PHYSICAL

picture reference: uhh... this? this look rlly gives off bogum vibes so (: blood type: type O. nationality: korean. skin tone/color: lighter tanned. birthmarks & scars: heheh wouldn’t u like to kno ??? height: five-foot ten inches. 5′10″. build: pretty average, more on the lean/athletic side though. hair color: red. hair length: uhm ,, look at reference photo? eye color: brown. diet: uhm ... bo has a pretty average diet probably. he would eat just about anything, not very picky. i think he probably has his favorites when it comes to chips and candy but he doesn’t have a special diet. exercise & level of fitness: LOOOL. let me not make a bad joke here ): how’s their posture ( or lack thereof )?: bogum probably has really good posture! i think standing tall with a straight back probably adds to his uh... authoritative look? typical style of dress: ( from his stats page ) dresses a bit old school, vintage?, almost plain. likes wearing tucked in and cuffed shirts, rolled up pants, boots, baseball caps, at least three rings on one hand, gold bracelets. the following outfits aren’t specific to him but they are probably kinda similar. it’s hard to rlly find exact examples ): ( 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 ) body modifications: none, surprisingly. probably pierced ears that he never puts earrings in. that’s really it though. he would prob like a tattoos but wouldn’t do it for the sake of his career ( because tattoos are distinguishing features ).

MANNERISMS

how does your muse walk?: def with a bit of power in his step. very protective when he is with his mother. mostly, he would walk like he calculates every single step he takes. how does your muse talk?: HAHA i just talked about this with myungok’s mun ,, he would talk very plain and probably without a lot of emotion. this would make things that are usually out of pocket probably sound kinda weird. what accent/dialect does your muse talk with?: he is from seoul and according to google, they speak with a gyeonggi dialect there (: how would you describe the tone of their voice? are they loud or quiet?: QUIET... shh... if you speak too loud you won’t hear bogum speaking with such monotoned you could probably fall asleep. bogum asmr when? what does their laugh sound like?: bogum? LAUGHING? i feel like bogum chuckles. so he would have like a short, quiet laugh. how does your muse typically smell?: either like smoke from a cigarette or like his mom’s perfume. what kind of air do they carry?: well jinae’s mun said he would have a dark and heavy presence and honestly that rlly fits the bill. do they have a(ny) catchphrase(s)?: time to die. what are their nervous ticks?: um.. not sure. probably knuckle cracking and finger tapping.

PSYCHOLOGY

what makes your muse happiest?: his mommy! seeing his mom thrive and gain her confidence back, even momentarily, makes him so happy. what upsets them the most?: ugh. listen. i talked abt this with some of y’all but the thought that if he ever got exposed or arrested ... how everyone in his life, including his mother, would just abandon him ... CRIES. was this supposed to be a general question? does your muse have any quirks?: i think his tendency to just be way too lax in certain situations would be his infamous quirk. what are their hobbies? how frequent do/can they do them?: bogum is definitely a simple man. he would totally like puzzles, word searches, watching the news, scrapbooking ( YES, SCRAPBOOKING ), taking walks, shopping with his mom, writing, idk, he doesn’t do anything OD or over the top. shrug. do they have any guilty pleasures?: is your muse an extrovert or an introvert? neither?: 10000% introverted otl. do they have high or low self-esteem? what about confidence?: uhm... bogum probably has an average amount of confidence/self-esteem. he’s a realist, definitely. if he look ugly he look ugly. if he look good he look good. ‘nuff said. are they easily stressed and how do they normally respond to it?: stressed? bogum could be in the midst of a bank robbery and be sitting there like ok, y’all done yet? what is your muses worst fear?: his mother finding out about his job. what is your muses biggest dream?: to either escape his job for good or to be able to heal his mother of all her injuries and illnesses. but of course, neither of those will ever happen! is your muse a morning person or a night dragon?: a night dragon? ok. anyway he is probably both. i can see bogum getting like four hours of sleep and waking up like (: let’s fuckin go! how intelligent is your muse? do they acknowledge it?: OH BOGUM has street smarts but definitely probably not book smarts. at least, not a great amount of book smarts. how can he be a hitman if he’s DUMM?! describe their sense of humor: LMAO. the real question is how can someone as funny as ME play someone as BORING as bogum?

RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES

are they currently in any sexual or romantic relationships?: HELL NO. luuuul. what is their experience with relationships?: to really think about it, bo probably had feelings for people here and there and most likely dated short term in high school but after he moved and began doing that he kind of lost all his effort to pursue romance. how does your muse view the idea of friends with benefits? have they ever had one? would they ever?: another hell naw to that sis. how important is sex to your muse?: not important at all. bogum could care less. what are their biggest turn on and turn offs?: see above pls. does your muse find it easy to make friends?: i say yes, only because most of his friends are through his mother. how important is friendship to them?: veRY IMPORTANT if bogum didn’t have the friends he has today, he probably would be a lot more sad and maybe more than just a hitman ): quantity or quality of friends?: quality! how important is family?: VERY IMPORTANT AGAIN bogum would give his life for his mother and to have his father back. are they close to their family? why or why not ?: YES. obviously asdfasdf everyone probably knows why. although bogum is now the one who runs the house, he still really values his mother because she ultimately has nobody but him in the end if she gets worse. his parents were always really good to him and when his father died, he knew that he and his mother had to stick together through it. he also knew that that he had to step up to provide for his mother because of her injuries and dementia. she is his life, really.

FAVORITES

activity: haha. you really wanna kno?... he likes word searches a lot. animal: idk. probably like. idk. beverage: mmmm some piping hot tea. book: - color: is red cliche to say? designer: - food: flower: water lilies, pansies, lilies, peonies, idk, he would love all kinds of flowers. gem: i googled these. if he had a favorite it would be garnet, smoked topaz, and morion. holiday: christmas! his mother’s favorite too, probably. mode of transportation: walking, usually. movie: - musical artist: oh boy, uhm,, i bet bogum likes indie kpop. like dean, suran, hyukoh, but i dont rlly know a lot to give you more details. quote / saying: - scenery: hm. probably night time in the living room, mom is put to bed already, he’s watching a rerun episode of a crime drama on television and thinking about how it’s so unrealistic. he’s got a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other though he puts it out halfway through because he loses interest. (: scent: i think he’d like the smell of cleaning products, flower scents ( bc it would remind him of his mom ), and metal (: obviously. weather: cloudy or rainy weather. anything that let’s him stay inside for the day. vacation destination: UM. i bet bogum would like to travel out of country to places like europe.

ATTITUDES

greatest dream: to finally have a peaceful life with his mother by his side, healthy or not. he wants to stop being a hitman, really, but it’s kind of like an addiction, plus he’s good at it, and it brings in the bacon. greatest fear: being caught and leaving his mother by herself -- it would be like the ultimate let down since he doesn’t trust anyone with her. most at east when: pls see scenery in section above. least as ease when: out in public by himself. he doesn’t have his mom as his cover. worst possible thing that could happen: PLS SEE GREATEST FEAR. ajdfkjasdfskf biggest achievement: moving to seoul safely with his mom! biggest regret: falling back into the crime life. most embarrassing moment: idk i feel like bogum isn’t embarrassing. he’s too ,, plain. biggest secret: LMAO well ... i think we all know. top priorities: keeping his mom safe, alive, healthy, and her bills paid for. also keeping himself undercover for the most part and making sure neither him or his mother are overwhelmed.

EXTRA TIDBITS

001. bogum is an unhealthy smoker but a social drinker. he never smokes around his mother though.

002. whenever bogum’s mother is around, he is on his own best behavior. he always does his best to be nice and keep up an image of her sweet son although by himself he can be different.

003. so far the only person who knows about his job is sangwoo because he sort of saw him in the act during his first hit. the two joke about it but bogum would take him out in a heartbeat if he spills.

004. i think it’s funny because i always pictured bogum as that person would give the shirt off of his back for you if you were in trouble. but he also wouldn’t hesitate to threaten to make you disappear.

005. his mom doesn’t know how he gets the money to pay for everything but bogum has her believing he “has his ways” and to “just trust him” although she asks about it every now and then.

006. though he stays inside a lot, some of the places you might see bogum outside of his apartment, are grocery stores close to his place, bars around town, museums, little cafes picking up things for his mother, dawon’s flower shop, and very occasionally places where there are a lot of drug activity.

007. here is smth: bogum is a hitman because his father was killed in a hit!

008. despite his mom questioning where he earns his money, his family has always been pretty well off but that was because of his father. so now that his father isn’t alive, it’s kind of ... fishy.

009. lmao probably your very typical scorpio minus the s*xual stuff.

010. my brain stopped working.

AESTHETICS

a card hand full of royals. empty, dark hospital hallways. dirty hands under black leather gloves. an empty, lonely wheelchair. old black and white photographs. an ashtray full of half smoked cigarettes. ripped up diary pages. rolled up fifty dollar bills. two expensive rings on each finger. responding “k” to a paragraph long text message. tri-folded letters written in the upmost calligraphy. roman numeral clocks.

#daegu:task #⸢ 。‧ * ‧﹒、i think it’s time to pack it in . 𝒹𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓁𝑜𝓅𝓂𝑒𝓃𝓉 . ⸥#I ADDED my own section at the bottom bc why not (:#ok i see u all later

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momestuck · 5 years

Text

Epilogues: Meat ch 28-32 [Epilogue 5]

So now we’re in different hands.

chapter 28

We return to John, this time with alt-Calliope narrating about his alarmingly blunt teeth. Also on further thought I have no more reason to use ‘she’ pronouns for alt-Calliope than proper Calliope (alt-Calliope does not even seem to use the name Calliope in narration, just things like ‘the dead cherub’), so I will use they pronouns, and will edit the previous post to reflect that.

alt-Calliope declares that they are not going to be ‘inserting thoughts into peoples’ heads’, though they will be ‘truthfully’ reporting those thoughts with more clarity than the subject of narration is necessarily prepared to acknowledge.

john would be mortified with human embarrassment if he could understand the clarity and precision with which i am willing to telegraph his thoughts. but his embarrassment is irrelevant to me. as always, the truth is paramount.

This mortifying description of how John thinks of Terezi includes a reference to “gap moe”, because of f u c k i n g course it does.

John worries if this makes him like a creepy weeb who collects body pillows, but in dialogue dismisses this as something that would only make sense to a human. Unfortunately, Tegiri exists to disprove that sentiment!

Despite alt-Calliope’s avowed dedication to ‘truth’, there is obviously more to this than not contradicting the ‘truth’ of events or thoughts... she is deciding how to present the ‘true’ information, what to state and what to leave implicit and what to brush over. a story also concerns what’s ‘relevant’ and ‘essential’, as Rose said so long ago.

chapter 29

Jane, it seems, has been using the trickster-mode lollipop during her campaign. This leads to an argument with the narration about whether or not it’s “problematic” - neither Jane nor alt-Calliope think so, though neither can be considered someone presented in a 100% positive light at this point...

(Jane mostly argues in the in-universe political campaign situation, when of course the argument about ‘trickster mode’ was the whole ‘caucasian’ shitshow)

Anyway, despite her prior statements, alt-Calliope is not above interfering in the narration if it’s for the sake of cherub artefacts.

jane rubs her eyes under her glasses and groans. trickster mode is also quite exhausting. what a strange quirk of human biology that excess euphoria must necessarily be followed by crippling despair. she carelessly tosses the lollipop on the floor, lurches toward her desk...

no.

alt-Calliope narrates that she’s totally got Dirk’s number - “he probably thinks he’s a very clever boy, my brother did too” - as Dirk works on a long red rifle in between other tasks designed to distract.

Jane wonders about trying to blackmail Jake by revealing that he’s been having sex with trolls. Dirk challenges this as xenophobic. There’s an odd exchange...

JANE: What ISN’T xenophobic?

DIRK: Well, for one thing, what you just said there?

DIRK: Probably also xenophobic.

JANE: WHAT?

DIRK: Sorry, that’s just how it is.

DIRK: You either gotta roll with the woke shit, or decide to commit laborious, symbolic, melodramatic suicide in the process of utterly giving up.

This may be referring to his suicide in the other branch, I guess? idefk what this is trying to say ><

chapter 30

Karkat and Dave are attempting to win over Jake. This involves a lot of jokes about “neoliberal austerity measures”, super pacs, and so on... and the two of them playing off each other. Dave has been presenting “visionary”, “avant-garde” campaign ads based on SBAHJ.

alt-Calliope notes that Jake has now been freed from Dirk’s indirect narrative control, able to make his own decisions. In tiny text, Dirk grumbles about this. Without his control, he declares, Jake is a purely reactive ‘dead bug’; with it, Jake is like an ant controlled by Cordyceps towards a “greater purpose” (i.e., reproducing Cordyceps ¬¬)

Anyway, Karkat ultimately makes a speech: he doesn’t say he’ll be the best president, but that whichever one wins, it will set a precedent on the matter of troll reproductive rights that will last for a very long time. Jane is, necessarily, far more concerned with nice appearances than doing right:

KARKAT: NO MATTER HOW NICE SHE WAS WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, HER DEDICATION TO THE APPEARANCE OF THAT “NICENESS” HAS ALREADY LED HER DOWN A PATH OF CORRUPTION AND DUPLICITY.

KARKAT: BECAUSE WHEN YOU LIVE INSIDE A SKIN THAT’S A LIE, YOU’LL EITHER GROW TO FIT IT, OR COLLAPSE UNDER THE UNBEARABLE WEIGHT OF YOUR OWN SHIT-SPEWING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE.

KARKAT: TRUST ME, I FUCKING KNOW, BECAUSE I USED TO SPEW AN UNTOLD AMOUNT OF SHIT.

I think this is well put. I think it gets to the heart of a lot of things, that this story is talking about, apart from the free will/alternate possibilities stuff...

Anyway, that wins Jake over to their side.

chapter 31

Back to Terezi eating weird things in space. (Nice!)

Do god tiers need to eat? ...come to think of it, Terezi never actually went god tier.

Anyway, Terezi and John have a heart to heart. About the doomed timeline... and about Vriska. Terezi refers to the Remem8er flash, where she found a connection with the Terezi from the Game Over timeline.

TEREZI: TH4TS WHY 1M OUT H3R3

TEREZI: YOU S33...

TEREZI: TH4T DOOM3D T3R3Z1 M1SS3D VR1SK4 *SO* MUCH, 1T W4S L1K3 4 HOL3 1N H3R H34RT

TEREZI: 1 R3M3MB3R TH3 W4Y SH3 F3LT, B3C4US3 ON3 T1M3, 4LL H3R M3MOR13S C4M3 FLOOD1NG B4CK

TEREZI: 1 3V3N GOT TO S33 WH4T H4PP3N3D WH3N SH3 D13D

TEREZI: SH3 4ND 4NOTH3R VR1SK4 GHOST F1N4LLY FOUND 34CH OTH3R

TEREZI: 1T M4D3 M3 SO H4PPY G3TT1NG TO F33L TH4T, 4S 1F 1T W4S ON3 OF MY OWN M3MOR13S

TEREZI: 1T JUST R31NFORC3D TH3 F33L1NG TH4T TH3R3 W4S SOM3TH1NG SP3C14L B3TW33N US

TEREZI: 4ND 1 JUST K3PT H4NG1NG ON TO TH4T B3L13F, R1GHT UP UNT1L...

TEREZI: OH, 1 DONT KNOW

TEREZI: NOW???

TEREZI: 1V3 PR4CT1C4LLY D3VOT3D MY L1F3 TO C3RT41N M3MOR13S, TO TH3 1D34 TH4T TWO P3OPL3 C4N B3 M34NT TO B3 W1TH 34CH OTH3R ON SOM3 COSM1C L3V3L, 3V3N 1F TH3Y 4LW4YS S33M TO G3T 34CH OTH3R 1NTO TROUBL3

TEREZI: 4LL TH4T 1NV3STM3NT, 4LL TH4T S34RCH1NG...

TEREZI: 4ND FOR *WH4T*?

TEREZI: OV3R 4 SW33P TOG3TH3R, 4ND SH3 JUST D1S4PP34RS 1NTO THE VO1D 4G41N?!

TEREZI: WH4T 4 HUG3 B1TCH

T_T

Anyway, this gets to the crux of the matter: Earth C may supposedly be paradise, but it doesn’t feel like it for either of them. To quote a certain book series, “perhaps some people just don’t have the knack of being happy”.

Anyway, Terezi can’t bear to part with John just yet - so she offers to take a look at his tooth wound. There’s a very funny moment where alt-Calliope narrates the blade drawing in a way so as to personally antagonise Dirk, who is pissed.

Terezi removes the poisonous tooth and then dresses John’s wound - I’ll be interested to hear from @drc4ble if her wound care is up to snuff. Then they have post-surgery makeouts.

Literally any even slightly intimate moment lol (or even a fight)... I miss feeling able to be that affectionate with people.

Although this is a het scene, it actually feels surprisingly... not het. idk. Not sure how to clarify that.

alt-Calliope, I guess, hasn’t lost her obsession with shipping and intimacy from when she was small. She claims she’s merely allowing John to perceive his “true” thoughts - and that’s why he’s being so bold. But that involves a decision, right, about which of his thoughts are “true”?

chapter 32

Apparently “proximity to a black hole”, a proxy for void, renders Roxy’s internal monologue perceptible to alt-Calliope, even though it wouldn’t normally be for those “on a higher textual plane”.

as for alt-Calliope, narrated as Jade:

looking beyond the wall she faces, and beyond everything past it, through the very fabric of narrative itself. they scan the ciliary veins of pacing, motivation, foreshadowing, irony—a continuum that has been upended by the prince’s interference.

Dirk and alt-Calliope are back to arguing in the narration - about how diverse the crowds are, for example. Dirk dismisses alt-Calliope’s narration as “fake-woke”.

Anyway, despite Dirk’s needling in the narration, Roxy and Dave have a well-observed conversation about like, figuring out your gay/trans/nb/etc, coming out and so forth. Dave talks about like, various stages of more-or-less-ironic self-denial. Dirk gets increasingly irate at the discussion of gender and sexuality that doesn’t lead straightforwardly into like, clear-cut relationships.

Also he’s preparing to assassinate Jake. Unable to force his thoughts into narration, he just speaks out loud, and I guess alt-Calliope reports his words.

Dirk starts climbing the bell tower. Alt-Calliope tries various means to stop him: narrating that his feet feel heavy - he monologues that he has determination to get past this - dropping a bell on him - he monologues that he’s destroying the bell with his sword. Then they just dismiss him as boring...

Alt-Calliope resorts to warning Dave of the assassination attempt. This is turning into Death Note here... “ah, but what you didn’t realise is...” type shit stacking on top of each other. Dave stands in front of Jake, which would be a Heroic death, something Dirk isn’t willing to expose him to. But Dirk’s gun isn’t loaded with bullets, but with... tranq darts. But moreover, he was misleading us as to his intentions.

He wasn’t going to shoot Jake at all. He was going to shoot alt-Calliope/Jade... giving him back control over the narration!

That was interesting though. Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection.

Well, I for one have had enough of that goddamn toothache. I’m back in the protein saddle, motherfuckers. I’m clacking my tongs, and the charcoal is hot.

Now who’s hungry for meat?

Epilogue 5, in toto

So this is just a ludicrously meta version of Death Note now? ok, ok...

Dirk has essentially taken the role of Caliborn, in terms of representing one of two poles of what Homestuck is “about”. Where Caliborn was about tedious masculinity and over the top carnage, Dirk seems to want plots: plans unfolding, some kind of big elegant modernist [that may be incorrect] construction where everything is “in its proper place” according to an artistic vision.

alt-Calliope now seems to want to tell a story about the personal, about complex but ultimately happy relationships, and of course to let these characters fulfil ‘their own will’, somehow...

#momestuck

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voidfishersong · 6 years

Note

Fallane and Eliza Fate, please

Alright, these two are from different ‘verses just fyi. so any supernatural elements are very, very different, as well as social situations.

WARNING: Fallane’s contains reference to some things that might be triggering. nothing in-detail, but please be advised.

Full Name: Fallane

Gender and Sexuality:

male-ish but with a rising intonation and a hand-wiggly gesture. sexuality is definitely just a hand-wiggly gesture, we think he has a slight preference for men but tbh no one cares

Pronouns:

he/him. if you used other ones he probably wouldn’t object but if you asked he’d say ‘he/him’

Ethnicity/Species:

Egyptian. and he’s like,,, vaguely a demon but not actually. he’s

supposed

to be one of the generals/servants/sextoys/whatever of AN ASSHOLE who reincarnates every 30 years or so, possesses a young girl, and makes everyone’s life hell but he said ‘nope that’ and (mostly) left. so he’s not actually a demon but that’s what his kind got characterized as by various mortals and usually he doesn’t correct people

Birthplace and Birthdate:

like literal ancient egypt in like 2,700 bc or smth

Guilty Pleasures:

I don’t think he’s guilty about any of his pleasures.

that came out way more sexual than I intended

I just meant that he likes things and he’s not ashamed of it

Phobias:

ahhhh this ‘verse is so dark help. I’d say sexual assault is pretty high on the list. I think he’s also a bit claustrophobic. more than a bit. he’s very claustrophobic he just doesn’t get into many situations like that

What They Would Be Famous For:

he could be a model? like actually. he wouldn’t but he

could

. he’s got a wicked fashion sense and is really good at makeup. ooh he could model makeup too

What They Would Get Arrested For:

can u get arrested for smoking indoors? he would. or shoplifting. he likes petty crime because either a) ‘this shouldn’t be privately owned and private ownership is just a social construct’ or b) ‘haha what are u gonna do, catch me?’

OC You Ship Them With:

Sam!! Sam Reeve x Fallane is best ship. you could also ship him with Kai but Sam is most perfectest. I made a ship name for them but it’s lame and I’m not sharing unless u dm me. I also ship Fallane with a healthy lifestyle but that’s never gonna be canon so

OC Most Likely To Murder Them:

does Nara canonically murdering him count? there r a lot of ppl who want to murder Fallane so I feel like this is an unfair question. Kai genuinely hates him for a large part of the story. ahaha Kai canonically kills him too jesus christ Fallane you’ve been killed three times you gotta chill. but I think Nara would be more likely to succeed than Kai so. the answer I pick is Nara. in a sarcastic way tho it’d be Mista, who is so done with his shit and she’s the type to say ‘im going to murder you’ when he like, puts his feet on the table or something

Favorite Movie/Book Genre:

mystery? anything he can sarcastically criticize the plot of, tbh. maybe horror

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:

if he’s a horror fan, then it’d be where any time someone says ‘dont do this’ the person does it and dies. I think he definitely dislikes the ‘aliens are always technological experts’ cliche like what if the explorers are anthropologists with no clue how their ship works?? did you ever think of that?? no you didn’t

Talents and/or Powers:

his main talent is sarcasm. he’s very gifted with picking up languages and accents, and he has a high appreciation for all forms of art. in the supernatural realm, he’s got a lot. he’s a natural low-level empath, and then he got powers on top of that, which made him nigh immortal, gave him rly cool wings, and magical charisma (which is like subconscious suggestion, except,, magic) which he mostly uses to convince people he’s paid for shit he

hasn’t

paid for. in the name of disabling capitalism, of course, and not because he just wants the pillow. then he’s also got some extradimensional abilities which are often interpreted as a kind of telekinesis but isn’t technically. and his empathic abilities get turned up to eleven until he can project so hard he can accidentally (or purposefully) kill someone

Why Someone Might Love Them:

if you’re about grey moralities, ambiguity, and anti-heroes, you’ll probably love Fallane. he’s also very protective, and a single dad of energetic twins so there’s no shortage of relatability, either. but I think a lot of his charm comes from his interactions with other characters, because he feels very strongly and brings many things other characters are afraid to say. there’s a weighty sense of honesty with him, and a real desire to do right by the world and help the downtrodden. he also struggles with trauma and mental illness and he’s really, really messed up but he

tries

and sometimes he fails and I think people will find a surprising amount to identify with. Fallane is my ultimate walking contradiction, but I think it works.

Why Someone Might Hate Them:

I feel like he’s a character people would be just indifferent toward UNTIL people started being apologists and saying he does nothing wrong and then he’d be one of those characters that the fandom just splits on, as polarizing ends get increasingly more argumentative. he can be manipulative too and I think people might take issue with things like that, but I feel like most people who would actively hate him would be misinterpreting him. he’s not supposed to be a paragon of good morality

How They Change:

in the first few waves of this ‘verse Fallane was a definite villain, if a hero-aiding anti-villain. then I decided villains were overrated and now there’s no villains, just a complicated mess of varying degrees of grey morality. in canon, this is reflected. he goes from a certain ‘I can’t do anything substantial about it so I just won’t bother’ to someone who

acts

on his desire to combat discrimination and abuse. he also gets his family back, and gains a little sister, and he’s constantly learning how to love (in every way) and how to

live

Why You Love Them:

honestly?

because

he’s learning how to live. much of Fallane’s backstory (and his role-switch from anti-villain to anti-hero) came from when I got over being suicidal, so he’s sometimes a comfort character. ngl, I also love his aesthetic. I’m also a bit biased because he has ocd and I have ocd and that’s relatable too and it makes his aesthetic

extra

relatable. he’s also incredibly emotional and that’s always an adventure to write. I really love Fallane guys.

also this ao3 tag is like the greatest descriptor of him:

Full Name: Eliza Fate

Gender and Sexuality:

female, bisexual

Pronouns

: She/Her

Ethnicity/Species:

English. and she’s a vampire so uh yea

Birthplace and Birthdate:

England and uh….. like…. idk….. a long time ago

Guilty Pleasures:

both slow and fast jazz music. also she’s surprisingly good with children - I like to think that sometimes, she volunteers at daycare-like-places in the shadier parts of town where there’s too many kids and not enough workers and she just helps out these toddlers and teaches them to jazz dance, the way you teach little kids anything, which is hold them and pretend they’re following anything you’re saying

Phobias:

I don’t think she’s phobic of anything, but she’s afraid of losing her family. they’re very important to her and I think her deepest fear is that someday she’s going to wake up completely alone. she’s not afraid of any one person leaving (obviously she’d be upset), it’s just the idea that

everyone

could disappear

What They Would Be Famous For:

she’s kind of famous within the criminal underworld because she’s like a mob boss, and she’s mostly famous for having a very large family, and for being independent. she went almost two centuries without a right-hand man/woman/etc which, especially as a woman, was quite unique

What They Would Get Arrested For:

I mean she already murders ppl and runs a mafia so that

could

get her arrested, but if she ever got caught it’d probably be something like she murdered a child abuser or something really,

really

violently and not well-planned

OC You Ship Them With:

Itsuki, who’s her canon boyfriend, and Andrea, who’s her canon girlfriend. she’s poly and her relationships are usually open relationships, including with those two. I also ship her hardcore with Katsumi, although that’s a very different dynamic (1960s lots of drugs and alcohol and free sex and it’s about pushing each other further and further and not always healthy but they know that and it’s okay). I feel like Eliza would be really great for romance fanfic because you can go with many time periods!

OC Most Likely To Murder Them:

Rin. boi Rin has wanted to murder her since he met her probably, he just hated her on principle and then Eliza went and decided she liked Itsuki so Rin hated that and

then

she started dating Katsumi too and so she’s in love with both his roommates and that pisses Rin off. it’s funny.

actually it’s often really depressing because they end up blaming each other for Katsumi’s death and just about everything else and I think Rin might actually wish she had never existed but

usually it’s a sarcastic ‘I would murder you right now Eliza I swear’

Favorite Movie/Book Genre:

slice of life. I think she likes the variety and the normalcy of it all, and she usually thinks the couples are cute. her least favorite genre is probably mystery

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche:

love triangles. they’re way, way overdone. also they invalidate the possibility of poly or open relationships. on a less serious note, she hates any mystery story that ends with like ‘the detective was the culprit all along!’ there’s not really a reason why she hates that but. she does. I made her I make the rules

Talents and/or Powers:

powers: well, she’s a vampire. talents: charisma. she is very good at getting people to understand her viewpoint, when she puts her foot down on something, which is rare. she’s also good at dancing. and very good at sex too apparently. she’s good with children too! but only really smol ones, once they get above like 5 they’re usually assholes

Why Someone Might Love Them:

she’s strong, and independent, and I think she’s over all a good person. she doesn’t take shit from people, but she doesn’t assume that people

are

giving her shit. she’s quite easy-going, all-in-all. she’s also really loving to her family, and in many ways she fulfills feminine roles, but the way she does them and the way she thinks about them are empowering, I think

Why Someone Might Hate Them:

when Eliza was first conceptualized in mid high school, I was terrified that people would see her as bad representation because she’s not morally straight

and

I worried that making her bi and poly would make people angry. but I think I’ve mostly gotten past that? idk. but I definitely think people might dislike her for her constant relationships - she doesn’t do well if she doesn’t have at least one datemate, and people might see that as too dependent or needy. she sometimes comes across as needy, so there’s that. I think there’d definitely be Eliza Fate stans and Eliza Fate haters

How They Change:

you get to see her progression from the civil rights era to present day, and she does change a bit, but overall she’s one of the most stable characters in this ‘verse. she really learns to accept rejection, and since she adopts a literal child (Nayeli) into her family and doesn’t raise Nayeli with any expectations of her joining the Family, I think she learns to work with people during their formative adolescent years, too

Why You Love Them:

Eliza is a character from the second wave of this ‘verse, so she’s quite old to have changed so little. I also love how she can differ depending on the time, so her roles change depending on the context. her personality doesn’t really change between any of them, but she’s a very complex character (a side effect of having been in my head for at least 5 years) and you can actually

see

all her facets. also she’s a mob boss mom??? like that’s cool idk she’s super suave and i’m gay

#ocs #eliza fate #fallane

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brawla · 7 years

Note

What was his childhood like with his brothers and a single mother, and how did he come out to them? Was he well received? How does it affect all his relationships in life, given the time period?

GH okay i can talk in depth about this so its going under a cut. warnin for talk abt dysphoria, blasphemy (only kind of vaguely referred to), vague implications of nonphysical abuse and potential misgendering/transphobia/etc

so like… he was born a fraternal twin which wasnt so shocking to the family dynamic bc there was already a pair of twins But after having a total of 9 kids and One of them being born biologically female you kinda fixate on that yknow? so. elliot was most definitely Pegged to be the odd one out from the start but he kinda never really was. he played in the same way that his brothers played and loved getting dirty and being a general nuisance and he was, in essence, already One Of The Boys by like age 4. i should note also his oldest brother is 10 years older and most of them have like a ½ y age difference

inserting this bit right here to clarify the dog incident happened when he was 6 and four of them were playing in a dry canal n there were wild dogs hiding in the underpass (and up until then hed only known dogs as nice creatures) so he goes to pet em yadda yadda arms and legs get fucked up real bad. forearms are still wicked sensitive and scarred up but his knees recovered merely because he ran. they didnt have money for hospital bills so he was kinda useless for a while though

so anyway. despite her child obviously being a “““tomboy”““ she still attempted to force him into frilly dresses and do his hair all nice and when he was Really young he didnt super care but eventually noticed the difference in how his mom allowed his brothers to behave vs how she allowed him to behave and it upset him??? and granted this was more when he was like 8 or 9 and it was less “elli go play” and more “elli help me with dinner” even though she often didnt include anybody else in that request. so he starts cutting his own hair and disobeying openly and gets kinda mean because of it (thus his inclusion in being a Town Terror with the other brothers) uhh

they fought a Lot as kids bc margaret wasnt the Best at keeping them in line especially when shed get more concerned with sleeping with other men/going out for the nice bc once chase (oldest) was old enough to technically be in charge shed just kinda Leave sometimes an pray they didnt set the house on fire. because of that it was “im trapped in a house with all my brothers lets wrestle and scream until the neighbors call the cops on us because somebody might be dying” but at the end of the day they still had that Sibling Bond that rose above anything else

moving back onto the Trans Narrative: he realizes somethings up mid/end of middle school and hes not sure how to put it into words but he doesnt Feel Good anymore. doesnt like hearing his deadname or being the singular “girl” of the family. his twin, owen, is like, his first Go To for comfort and owen doesnt know either but he doesnt really Care. one time he tries to tell his mom but she waves him off and tells him never to bring it up again and… he Doesnt. goes through his first couple years of high school horrifically depressed and just barely passing year to year if Even passing until the very beginning of junior year he just Stops going. owen and some of the more fraternal of his brothers, when older, are kinda the only thing that keeps him grounded and ultimately he feels Useless ages 16 to 18

spy is his first contact bc he knows his mom who kinda just laments about how useless this kid who used to be so excited to play baseball with his brothers and run around and race freely is all of the sudden, please make him stop. and spys reluctant but also Guilty and has him flown out to nm for various hit and run jobs and elliot doesnt really realize what hes been thrust into at first but it gets to a point where doing Anything (even Crime) feels so good he doesnt care. inducted officially into the team when hes 19 or 20 and also has his name legally changed within that time period (jeremy is his “formal” name his mom insisted upon when he informed her this was a thing that was happening and she couldnt do anything about it, but if addressed by his actual name hed much rather hear elliot except in Official or as previously stated, formal, settings). voila The Scout is born

he technically comes out to the family when hes like 18/19 and already living out of home and he comes back to visit for a gathering where a lot of people are there includin some of his brothers’ dads. and nobody really knows what to do (mom im trans and also stronger than you so dont try any shit) bc most of them are religious and all of the boys were raised christian even if they were just going to church for the sake of going to church. and like… over time they adapt… margaret pulls the whole “this is all my fault my babys going to hell” thing for a while and makes it about her and some of his brothers do the same (william, the second oldest and michael, one of the other twins are the only two who are like “absolutely not youre disowned never speak to me again” and disallow their kids from seeing him EVEN THOUGH his nieces and nephews love him the Most) but eventually they kinda Get It. and dont Agree with it but cant bear to just leave their baby brother behind. so. its like. they fuck up the pronouns a lot but still Vaguely try. he doesnt talk to them a lot and wishes honestly hed never said anything and just moved out and lived stealth (hes stealth in tfi). he sends money home bc despite all his mom did and said to him bc deep down he still cares but. yknow. he avoids them if he can

SORRY THAT GOT LONG onto other tidbits

he never did baseball in school but played recreationally with the boys every time he got the opportunity to but he did run track when he got to eighth grade/high school and was really fantastic at it. hed run and began exercising initially as a way to beat his brothers but his mom makes some off-handed comment about how its good hes finally doing that, he could bear to lose somea that chub, nobody likes a fat girl (hes 12!) and is like Ah. and hes less self conscious about his weight now bc hes accepted the fact most of his weight is muscle and hes naturally curvy partly bc hes pretty and partly bc hes a runner. hes very very secure in himself and his identity even if he cant just tell people hes trans

he probably wouldve continued religiously if he hadnt been told by multiple sources that the “behaviors” he engaged in would upset god and get him banished to hell for life so he stopped going to church when he moved. of course, god only confirming he was his gift to the earth made him (silently) rub it in his familys face and he stopped uhh. believing in what was taught at churches simply bc he was convinced hed met god and proved all of them wrong? anyway

at the age and place he is he tends not to make lasting relationships with many people, at least romantically, because hes positive one of these days hell move to a place people dont know him and hell have had surgery and suddenly fit in with the cis and be able to settle down then. god knows he has the money for it; but for where hes at he tends not to care, not to tell anybody, n probably hasnt uhhh yknow Bonked for several years which is whatever he lives. He Lives. i think thats all i have to say on this IM SO SORRY but. this ask is very important to me

#Anonymous #➫ＰＯＰＱＵＩＺ！| ASK ♕#➫ＫＩＮＤＯＦＡＢＩＧＤＥＡＬ．| MUSE ♕#➫ＯＨ，ＷＥＤＯＮＥＡＬＲＥＡＤＹ？| OOC ♕#[ THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK i think about trans scout every day of my fucking life ]#[ i could probably have put this into better words if i looked back and found my hc threads on twitter but this covers essentially -#- all of the bases So ]

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derangedroyalfae · 6 years

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02/11/2019

Royal (3:07 PM) I’m home now, and I can’t tell if it’s just anxiety or if it’s mixed with guilt when it comes to the idea of talking to Nurd

He hasn’t made an approach yet, but I get super anxious over the idea of him doing so

Hummingbird (3:07 PM) probably mostly anxiety

Royal (3:07 PM) I don’t know if he knows I’m home

So I made a realization (which is somewhat adding the the anxiety) that whilst I like horror, I’m not really fond of nihilistic horror

Well, nihilistic is what I’m using for lack of better words

They’re watching this movie downstairs called Mom and Dad and it’s essentially about this 24hr mass hysteria where parents are turning on their children to murder them

And I guess it’s just made me feel really depressed and anxious to watch and think about, cuz I’m just thinking how those parents are gonna snap back to reality with such unbridled guilt and how fucking disturbing that situation is, the fear of your own parent killing you

It sorta also sends this huge message of what burdens children are on their parents and how they practically ruin the adults lives (from what I was gathering), and I’m sure it’ll end with the MC being like “no matter how much hardships I’ve been through cuz my kids, I’d never regret them” or something like that, but I’m almost catching the aforementioned as the message still...

Like yeah, I know there’s no perfect family, but I’d like to think that there are some parents out there that don’t regret their decisions to parent and that at the end of the day, most parents don’t truly feel burdened by their children

That things aren’t just meaningless: have a family, work yourself to death for family, family is terrible and ungrateful to you, you’re ultimately unhappy and everything was meaningless - what was the point?

I know I’m over analyzing and getting anxious over nothing, but I guess I really don’t like nihilistic horror

It’s one of the reasons I know I can’t watch Black Mirror

Hummingbird (3:23 PM) yeah, i dont think I could watch that either

Royal (3:24 PM) I’ve seen a snippet of one episode that didn’t seem too nihilistic, but the one episode I watched and the beginning of another just made me so...depressed and even uncomfortable

I’m surprised that my mom and Bear (while holding my niece) are able to sit and watch a movie about parents brutally murdering their children

Kitty (3:26 PM) I’d be uneasy walking in on my parents watching something like that the day after coming out to them...

Royal (3:27 PM) I’m sure Bunny put it on

Kitty (3:27 PM) Like, I'd ask to sleep at a friends' house...

-It’s not the actual concept of parents brutally murdering their child that bothers me, it’s the message behind it that bothers me

Though, yes, parents brutally murdering their children is still disturbing

Especially this review

Like, wtf

Unless your child is literally a psychopath (almost any other antisocial/personality disorder is more than likely your fault as a parent) you shouldn’t hate your child

like, I don't care how much of a brat your kid is, they're only a brat cuz you raised them to be (that and other genetic dispositions)-

Royal (3:27 PM)

But yeah, I’m also anxious cuz I don’t want to face Nurd anymore and I feel sucky for feeling that way

I know shouldn’t feel so anxious about it

Royal (9:47 PM) I know I should go eat dinner, but I guess I wasn't feeling up to it

I am, however, starting to feel hungry, so it's kinda like "shiiit"

I don't wanna face people right now, especially Nurd (though, I believe he's in his room)

Jewel (9:49 PM) Any way you can just go grab something quick to eat without drawing much attention?

Royal (9:49 PM) but what they made for dinner doesn't sound appetizing

Royal (9:59 PM) so I made a bad joke that Chiaki has to canonically kill Ryuu

what am I supposed to do? Make them stay happily ever after together? The person Ryuu is based off of never like yandere's anyway…

Royal (10:15 PM) plot twist: Ryuu was secretly a yandere too, so when Chiaki tried to breakup with him, he didn't take the news well so she ended up killing him to keep him off her back

Jewel (10:35 PM) Ryuu

I had completely forgotten you had named that character Ryuu

Royal (10:23 PM) Well then

Hummingbird (10:24 PM) Is that a trans positive article or a transphoic one?

Royal (10:27 PM) I haven't read it

she was so nervous about upsetting me, she fucking came in my room to apologize

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2018/07/when-a-child-says-shes-trans/561749/

Hummingbird (10:32 PM) Yeah.. It's not trans positive. It's a "teens struggle with identity and could by wrong"

Royal (10:32 PM) Yup

I’m reading it now...

She’s like 14, she was impulsive in starting transition...they better not fucking compare me to her

Also, she saw herself as binary trans

Hummingbird (10:35 PM) Also, you thought about it for half a decade

Royal (10:36 PM) And she also sounded like all her info came from the internet

Exactly why I pointed out the “impulse” thing

Plus, I feel happier

Unlike Claire, the more I identified and expressed, the better my mood was

Hummingbird (10:36 PM) The feeling happier is a good sign your brain needed T

Royal (10:37 PM) Well, even before the T, I’d feel good about expressing my gender

Hummingbird (10:37 PM) Yeah expressing it really helps

Royal (10:40 PM) I’m personally not a big advocate on letting your child start too many physical/medical transition underage (I might make exceptions for HRT in the teen years), but I am all for letting them explore their identity and expressing it in healthy ways

Hummingbird (10:41 PM) I think blockers but not hormones is a good route to test the waters and push back puberty.

Royal (11:24 PM) The article was mainly about detransitioning and the regrets many youth have over being misdiagnosed and jumping into transitioning :upside_down:

Whilst Bunny is the one who immediately tried using the proper pronouns and name, she’s also the one who was like “you should have seen a specialist first” and was like “but your non-binary and none of you’re NB role models are going through transition”

Royal (10:40 PM) Well then...Hummingbird and I just read through the article, it’s not actually “trans positive,” It's a "teens struggle with identity and could by wrong"

In fact, she realizes she’s wrong by the end of the article

She’s also 14 and impulsive to start transition

Jewel (10:42 PM) Oh

Royal (10:42 PM) How is this helping???

Jewel (10:43 PM) I think maybe she didn't realize

Royal (10:43 PM) I haven’t said anything about it yet, cuz I didn’t read the article until just now

But why would you send an article in hopes of helping if you didn’t realize??? It’s clear as day as to what the article is saying, even when I began reading it, I had a feeling where it was going

So either she didn’t read it or she doesn’t get that it’s actually harmful to my situation in invalidating me

The girl in the article is also binary, so it’s not like she had a moment where she was like “I’m not a boy, but I’m not a girl either” she just went “whoops, I’m not a boy, I’m just not a stereotypical girl”

Jewel (10:46 PM) At the end of the day, you're not even a teenager anymore and it's been long enough for you to know more

Royal (10:46 PM) Oh yeah, literally the girl was 14

And was begging her parents for the operations and whatnot (HRT and top surgery)

Also, I had half a decade to think on this and my ma even acknowledged that

Jewel (10:47 PM) People can draw different conclusions about themselves

Maybe the girl in the article did realize it wasn't a good fit for her

People are different

And it's no bearing on your situation

Royal (10:47 PM) But why would she send this to her so shortly after I came out?

With the claim of “trying to help”

Jewel (10:48 PM) Yeah, I wasn't saying this in her defense

But how it's not relevant to you at all

Royal (10:49 PM) Everyone that’s mentioned in this article is like under 18 (maybe even under 16)

Jewel (10:50 PM) Yeah, I mean, they literally say when children say they're trans

Royal (10:50 PM) I at first thought it meant children as in the person you birthed

Like, to help parents understand their children

Their offspring

Jewel (10:51 PM) Yeah, makes sense

Royal (10:51 PM) But it literally means people under 18

This article is all over the place

Jewel (10:52 PM) At this point, you're making your own decisions everywhere else

So knowing your own identity should very well be something you're capable of

Royal (10:53 PM) You can’t start with “this girl tried to transition only to realize she wasn’t trans” to “here are struggles trans people go through”

Like...these are separate things on the same topic, they don’t belong in the same article. They get their own separate entries...

Jewel (10:54 PM) Damn

What the fruit

I looked it up

Royal (10:54 PM) It also specifically is like “children and teens” do they see me as such

Jewel (10:54 PM) They wrote a part 2

Royal (10:55 PM) I don’t think I have the patience to read the second (next day complains about the second article because they did indeed read it)

Jewel (10:56 PM) Hehe

"So about that second article....."

"Knew ya would."

Also I started reading and knew right away too where they were going with Claire

The way they framed it

It's so obvious

Royal (10:57 PM) Holy shit, they have another “unhappy transition” story in the same article

This time with Max

Jewel (10:58 PM) Claire's story is the kind of story my mom would pick and show me...

Royal (10:59 PM) You know right off the bat when they use their assigned pronouns that either this means it wasn’t really a transgender person or the person writing the article is being bigoted

But nope, they weren’t really trans

Jewel (10:59 PM) Ignoring the fact that Claire had other issues and wanted to fit in to her peer group

Royal (11:00 PM) “Today, Max identifies as a woman. She believes that she misinterpreted her sexual orientation, as well as the effects of the misogyny and trauma she had experienced as a young person, as being about gender identity. Because of the hormone therapy, she still has facial hair and is frequently mistaken for male as a result, but she has learned to live with this: “My sense of self isn’t entirely dependent on how other people see me.””

Jewel (11:01 PM) “Effects of misogyny and trauma"

Oh sure, go ahead, give cis people fuel, why dontcha...

Royal (11:01 PM) “Max is one of what appears to be a growing number of people who believe they were failed by the therapists and physicians they went to for help with their gender dysphoria.”

Cuz this article is truly about how often this is all misdiagnosed

This is your mom’s happy fuel

Jewel (11:02 PM) Like, to be fair, that's an important issue to research

But it shouldn't invalidate actual gender dysphoria

Royal (11:03 PM) Like, I feel like they only had the section on actual struggles so they didn’t come of as bigoted

Jewel (11:03 PM) Overdiagnosing is a major issue in general in the American healthcare system but so is underdiagnosing/ignoring mental health issues

Royal (11:03 PM) And yeah, it’s an important issue, just like the misdiagnosing of mental health and over prescribing of antidepressants

Yup

““I’m a real-live 22-year-old woman with a scarred chest and a broken voice and a 5 o’clock shadow because I couldn’t face the idea of growing up to be a woman,” said Cari Stella, a detransitioner.”

I also never plan on chest surgery, don’t know if they realized that

Jewel (11:05 PM) I have actually been fairly sheltered from misogyny so none of that would apply to me

Not like my mom has seen this article but I can't help but always prepare arguments just in case

Royal (11:05 PM) An whilst Bunny is the one who immediately tried using the proper pronouns and name, she’s also the one who was like “you should have seen a specialist first” and was like “but your non-binary and none of you’re NB role models are going through transition”

Jewel (11:06 PM) Imma be honest, that sounds like how my mom keeps insisting I'm NB and hence should stay in this body

Royal (11:06 PM) But when I explain to her that I had been seeing my psych because they were LGBT+ specialized, Bear was like “yeah, they said that’s what they did already, or at least that’s what I understood”

Jewel (11:07 PM) Wait, huh?

Royal (11:07 PM) So it’s funny how everyone caught things differently

Bear validated the fact that I saw a specialist

As in a psychological one

Bunny even tried to make reference to the fact that no one on my Instagram post about my gender icons/goals were transitioning

Jewel (11:09 PM) >.>

Royal (11:09 PM)

1. Only 2 of these people are non-binary 2. One is cis and a professional cross dresser 3. One is cis but trying to be gender nonconforming 4. One is a trans male in a time before medical transition

The cis male is there because it’s a goal to look that good in a dress while still looking male

Jewel (11:12 PM) And it's no rule that your own decisions should match those you look up to

Royal (11:12 PM) Yeah

Ruby Rose is also an actress, so I’m sure she’d have to take that into consideration if she wanted to start HRT and how that would affect her career and the roles she couldn’t play anymore

She plays cis women still

Jewel (11:15 PM) Unrelated sorta but that picture reminded me how gorgeous Ruby Rose is

Royal (11:15 PM) Alright, I said 2 were NB, but Chris Fleming hasn’t necessarily confirmed he’s NB, he’s just pretty much makes himself out to be by answering in a complex way what his gender is

He’s at least nonconforming, but the way he describes his gender is hilarious and sounds non-binary

Jewel (11:17 PM) Ultimately gender is complex and everyone does things a bit differently

Royal (11:17 PM) Either way, I’m not trying to mimic anyone

I’m trying to be me

Most NB who transition (and even a lot of binary) want top surgery and often don’t get bottom surgery

Even Kitty and Lapis want to keep their bottoms, and some transmen I know do too

I’m not copying anyone, in fact, my desires are unique to most

Jewel (11:19 PM) I think I first realized I wanted bottom surgery before I even thought of top

Royal (11:19 PM) Same (though I think we both remember this talk as it happened around the same time)

We were pretty in sync about our realizations

I always knew I didn’t want top surgery, though it does sound appealing sometimes, I wouldn’t get rid of my breasts

Jewel (11:21 PM) True, but I also meant like way back when I was 13 and didn't even know bottom surgery was a thing, I kept imagining getting a dick surgery'd on

I didn't have boobage back then anyway

Royal (11:21 PM) I always had thoughts of having a dick too

I’ve had boobs since 3rd grade

Jewel (11:23 PM) Around when we had that talk, I had been having this unexplained desire that if I went topless I would have the chest of a man's

Also, it was around then that I saw a trans dude's trans journey video for the first time

I had only seen girls' before

Nurd (11:05 PM) When you are ready, please talk to me.

Royal (11:26 PM) …I’m a terrible person

He was knocking on my door maybe 10 min before this, but I hadn’t responded since it’s not unusual for me to go to bed around that time

He just sounds so sad...

Jewel (11:29 PM) :/. It's better to wait till you're ready, I think.

Royal (11:29 PM) I’m causing him such pain, why can’t he just hate me?

I know I act like a narcissist, but fuck, like, I’m not actually supposed to be someone you should have a hard time letting go of

And I’ve expressed my fear that this isn’t an isolated incident, that I’m actually just some shallow person who can so easily become detached to those in my life like this

Jewel (11:34 PM) I understand that fear

Honestly though, a lot is happening for you right now and it's gotta be hard handling it all

So it's best to at least try to take it one step at a time

Royal (11:40 PM) I don’t think he can comprehend that

I think in his mind: “fam said they support you, what’s the problem? Let’s talk about our problem now since that came first”

Like, he doesn’t get it

Jewel (11:41 PM) Yeah he definitely seems to think your coming out and the whole process is "done"

Royal (11:41 PM) Also, what he’s going through seems to be very common amongst AMAB, especially cis males (or early in transition trans/NB)

But literally Hummingbird, Kitty, and Lapis have gone through this from his POV

Hummingbird has the most relatable since her experience was with her first partner and she actually did marry her at a young age and was with her for a good amount of years

The whole bargaining and offering to change, having a hard time letting go

Him offering to change in hopes of making me stay ended up having the opposite affect, as it just made me wanna escape even more

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closethegoddamndoorswat · 8 years

Text

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself, and at the end, chose 25 people to tag i was tagged by @goldun-days LAST: 1.) drink: agua 2.) phone call: my mama llama 3.) text messages: actual text messages was me explaining to my “friend” that when nobody responds on the groupchat it’s because we DONT want to converse or have her blab on.. except in a polite way? 4.) song you listened to: currently Migraine by TOP, but before it was Growing Up by Macklemore ft. Ed Sheeran 5.) time you cried: yesterday i got teary eyed because self-titled top HAVE YOU EVER 6.) dated someone twice: uhh yeah more than twice tho more like six times 7.) been cheated on: emotionally? yes. physically? no 8.) kissed someone and regretted it: havent really had my first kiss yet so nope 9.) lost someone special: not really 10.) been depressed: uhhh yeah fam 11.) gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, i havent done any drinking yet LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12.) Mint greeny blue 13.) black 14.) used to be maroon but thats the color of a school that wait-listed me so i’ll say purple! IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 15.) made new friends: HELL FUCK YES 16.) fallen out of love: ive never loved anyone, not romantically 17.) laughed until you cried: yeah, family stories and old family pictures.. also ezra and ry convos 18.) found out someone was talking about you: who hasnt tbh 19.) met someone who changed you: SHANNON YOU COMPLICATE MY FEELINGS SO MUCH BUT YOU HAVE DEFINITELY CHANGED ME 20.) found out who your true friends are: OH HELL FUCKING YES I HAD ALL SUMMER OF THAT 21.) kissed someone on your Facebook list: ew who uses Facebook? Also, never kissed 22.) how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: again, no Facebook 23.) do you have any pets: MHM JOSIE NAMED AFTER THE SONG JOSAPHINE BY DISPATCH SHES A BRINDLE MUTT FROM A SHELTER WE LOVER HER V V MUCH 24.) do you want to change your name: hnnnnng kinda but more for the fact that i dont associate with my birth name at all and less because of gender identity 25.) what did you do for your last birthday: the usual: go to my grandparents’ house and eat a melting cake and watch my grandfather and uncles shoot off fireworks while we try not to burn ourselves with sparklers. 26.) what time did you wake up: around 8:30 but then i went back to bed for three hours 27.) what were you doing at midnight last night: Kiking with Ezra i think 28.) name something you cannot wait for: my band to actually write some gotdamn music 29.) when was the last time you saw your mother: three hours ago 30.) what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: That i wasnt such a dickhead about practicing music 31.) what are you listening to right now: Part II by Paramore 32.) have you ever talked to a person named tom: there was a helper guy who was a college student named Tom at our rock band camp.. he played ukulele :) 33.) something that gets on your nerves: my own acne 34.) most visited website: probably either tumblr or ao3 35.) elementary: Fuckt™ ((public school, home school, charter school my mom started while home schooling me.. yeah.) 36.) high school: Stop Reminding Me I Know I Have No Plan Because Everywhere Rejected Me Stfu 37.) college: hopefully nowhere, id rather be touring 38.) hair color: Reddish-orange-brown because i have brown hair dyed with henna 39.) long or short hair: short!! 40.) do you have a crush on someone: more like multiple people i would date and/o make out with but feel no need to stress over making anything official or pining for aged 41.) what do you like about yourself: surprisingly, a lot.. i like my lips tho! They arent TOO small or too big theyre a lil plump and small like all of my features 42.) piercings: just standard ear piercings but i wanna pierce more shit 43.) blood type: fuck i think it’s O negative idk?? 44.) relationship status: single and lonely,,, hmu babes 45.) nicknames: my mom calls me Pessa (short for however u spell princess in italian), my brother calls me Chlub, and my friends that call me Toni use the nickname Tono 46.) zodiac sign: cancer 47.) pronouns: they/them or she/her 48.) fav tv show: House M.D. ((Patrick stump had a cameo ;) )) 49.) tattoos: non but i wanna get lots of lil important black symbols and shit 50.) right or left handed: right i am the majority FIRST: 51.) surgery: nope, not yet 52.) piercing: ears 53.) best friend: Elizabeth or Katy, i forget which came first 54.) sport: soccer i think, like p much everyone 55.) vacation: my dad’s aunt has a house on Martha’s vineyard that we used to rent and i think we’re trying to rent it again this year and it’ll be so great to go back!! 56.) pair of trainers: i have no fucking clue i dont remember 57.) eating: nothing 58.) drinking: water sorta 59.) about to see: nothing 60.) listening to: A Love Like War by ATL ft. Vic Fuentes 61.) waiting for: perpetually waiting for acceptance letters from schools ayy 62.) want: piercings and tattoos and a partner 63.) get married: idfk yet man 64.) career: HANDS FUCK DOWN A MUSICIAN ILL SELL MY SOULD TO PETE WENTZ ILL SUCK A DICK I JUST WANT TO BE ON WARPED TOUR AND BEBIN A BAND PLEASE WHICH IS BETTER 65.) hugs or kisses: both?? I dont have much experience in the latter tho 66.) lips or eyes: couldnt care less 67.) shorter or taller: taller because i think it’s impossible for anyone to be shorter than me 68.) younger or older: imma say older because maturity level needs o be above average like mine 69.) romantic or spontaneous: whichever suits the person better! 70.) nice arms or nice stomach: idfc as long as one holds me and i can tickle the other one 71.) sensitive or loud: LOUD BITCH 72.) hook up or relationship: atm, honestly, maybe just hook up because idk if i can deal with an emotional relationship? 73.) troublemaker or hesitant: neither HAVE YOU EVER 74.) kissed a stranger: nope 75.) drank hard liquor: nope 76.) lost glasses/contact lenses: dont need them so nope 77.) turned someone down: yep 78.) sex on first date: nope to both 79.) broken someone’s heart: nope 80.) had your own heart broken: not really, i did get real pissed at him tho 81.) been arrested: nope 82.) cried when someone died: nope 83.) fallen for a friend: uhhh maybe 84.) yourself?: Good™ 85.) miracles?: meh 86.) love at first sight?: should walk by again 87.) santa claus?: as much as brendon urie not being a fuckboi.. no 88.) kiss on the first date?: yeah if both parties are down 89.) angels?: DONT GET EXISTENTIAL ON ME BINCH 90.) current best friends name(s): Ezra the Mega Ultimate Squish and Ryan, AKA CatAssJones 91.) eye color: Boring Brown 92.) favorite movie: Deadpool and/or The Blues Brothers.. Anyone can do this, just say i tagged you in it!! P.S. ...We're on a mission from Gahd.

#oml this was fun??#tagged in!

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