#but let me have this lol yall are free to do whatever

[dapperrokyuu]

The name Luka may be canon, but Luisa lives on in my heart...

And thus, I headcanon Luka as nonbinary, and they use whatever name they feel like on a whim. c:

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Ok I know I'm heavily biased here but like I kinda love that Astarion's romance is one of the few in this type of video game where you basically end up canonically unmarried and childfree in his "good" ending? Just travelling the world??

Like it's honestly the millennial dream lmfaoo cannot believe i chose what would undoubtedly be my favorite option, first try

[ybklix]

playing with his hair

giirrrl idk, a feral thought maybe; bf!felix x fem!reader w his long hair since i’m too lazy to make it a whole detail fic for now lol so, (i deadass tried to make it a drabble but it pass the 1k words😮‍💨)

genre - warnings: smut, fluff!! dry humping, handjob, grinding, unprotected piv, mention of cockwarming, idol bf felix btw

word count: 1.6k

a/n: this is what i have to deal with everyday, actually, oopsies, he’s next to me rn! also writing in present it’s so new, I like to read it when yall write like that, but I’ll stick with past tense😁 edit: girl i had this in the drafts for days, but he was a little too happy in his recent promoting video, he’s sleeping outside, someone pick him up /jk srly pls

Felix likes to try new hairstyles ever since he let grow his hair, he feels very confident with it and likes the way you randomly stroke it every time you’re together.

Your idea of fun is one of those very rare free afternoons for him since he’s all the time busy at work; it’s when you’re just chilling together at your place because you feel too lazy to go out but very comfortable with each other’s company.

Your days are simple, and your hours with him are very limited but he always makes sure to enjoy being with him; so you try to do everything at once, watch a movie, talk, lay on his chest while he’s playing games on his cell phone… and suddenly, just playing around, with you sitting on his lap in front of him, giggling while playing with his hair.

“Fuck, your hair is so fried” you tease him with a smile, looking at your fingers entangling with his straight hair.

He pouts, “Stop, then don’t touch it…” he responds also joking, just watching you with heart and sparkling eyes.

Felix rests his hands on your tights and caresses them softly. You down your gaze to meet his, he’s suddenly looking at you so sweetly that makes your cheeks get a little warm.

“Can I play with it?” you asked joyfully.

“With what?”

“Your hair” you replied in an obvious tone, “I can do pigtails, braids, middle part, side part” you continue to say, laughing while playing with his hair.

Felix chuckles softly, completely in love, closing his eyes sometimes, then looking up at your arms.

“Wait here” you speak again, standing up from his lap and going to get a comb, hair ties, bobby pins and some random hair clips to take pictures of him just for fun.

“You can also do my make-up if you want” he comments, raising his thick voice so you can hear him.

You sit back down on his lap.

“Oh no, you wear makeup almost every day, let your face rest today” you answer, kissing him tenderly on the bridge of his nose, hiding a little bit the fact that you love seeing your boyfriend’s bare face, straight black eyelashes, big dark eyes, full lips, cheeks and nose with freckles all over.

You laugh at doing whatever you want with his hair, taking silly pictures every time you find him adorable, just giggling saying your favorite inside jokes, then ending with a bow on his hair.

“You can really use me, huh” Felix says, giving you a funny but adorable look with his eyes wide open.

Felix starts caressing your back, with more consistent and intense caresses and he suddenly realizes how you haven’t kissed each other on the lips the whole time, so he moves closer to you and you without hesitation receive his kiss, following a tender and slow rhythm at first, pressing your lips together in a delicate lip rubbing, but you’re a bit desperate when it comes to each other, so your boyfriend catches his breath between kisses and looks himself at the work of being more glued and pouncing on you, with his touches all over your body, from your thighs to your back, slipping his hands under your blouse to feel your bare skin.

Your make out starts to heat up precipitously that you can feel the growing erection in his shorts, so, with your hands wrapped around his neck, you begin to move over his cock, pressing it to your core and stimulating you both. At this point, your pussy is throbbing and you feel slightly heated. You’re always impressed by how incredibly fast you want and desire him. You both moan softly at the friction. As you pull apart you smile slightly mischievously at him and for some reason you start kissing his neck, which Felix loves so, causing him to give you a huge tender smile showing his teeth, clutching his grip on your hips tighter.

You pull away once more to meet the wide grin on his face, which gently turns into a slightly strained expression as you continue to move your body against his erection, Felix gasps, his lips forming a soft expression of satisfaction this time with his submissive facing enjoying the naughty act of crushing his cock with your center, with your clothes on.

“Fuck, baby, it feels so good” Felix sighs, biting his slightly swollen, full lips, lowering his gaze to your pussy being trapped in him, moving his erection back and forth, guiding your hips for better movement.

You smile satisfactorily at him in response, each time feeling the heat of your body and pussy brush against your panties, wetting them all over, just playing more with your arousal. You see him, he looks so fucking cute and yet so hot with the last few hairstyles you gave him, two little high ponytails with bows leaving the rest of his hair loose, he looked silly cute, but serious manly moans coming out of him contrasts somehow so perfectly.

Felix sighs again sonorously, his legs shaking a little, he doesn’t think he can take it long enough without cumming if you keep moving so dedicatedly on him so he speaks again:

“Mmm, c’mon baby, take off your clothes, or do you want me to take you to bed.”

A pleasant shock goes through your body as you hear him a little more needy, you’re not thinking straight and you don’t want to pull away from him so you just reply a simple, “It’s okay like this, Lix.”

With your heart beating fast you grab his shorts, indicating you want to pull them down, Felix helps you right away, releasing his pink, needy, throbbing cock, you look down at his member and then at the same time you join gazes, Felix looks at you so needy and innocent, his big eyes begging you to touch him, you can’t help but melt every time he does that and in a needy sigh, with your cheeks a little red, you stand up, embarrassed, pulling down your comfy cloth shorts along with your panties, climbing back onto his lap, catching your boyfriend licking his lips at the sight of your cute bare mons venus.

Felix smiles, so excited at the thought of feeling you on him again, now with the sensation of your warm wet center in him, he gets more excited at the thought that you were finally going to settle on him ready to fuck, however, you start pumping his entire erect length, making him gasp loudly as he throws his head back, marking his bulging Adam's apple in his throat. Felix returns to his posture, looking straight into you with desire, biting his lip as you with a smile, touch all over his cock, stroking his tip gently with your fingers, feeling his stiffness and the slight sticky precum sliding down your hand as you jerk him off.

You’re so wet, and Felix is getting over the edge, so you finally accommodate your body, squeezing your pussy tighter on his cock, grinding on it a little before you put his cock inside you, encouraging in him more arousal if that was possible, teasing him and you at the sensation of his dick rub between your labia, until you feel his throbbing member so foreplayed, and until you see your boyfriend’s sweet expression as he can’t resist anymore and, finally you insert his rigid manhood completely in you. The temperature of both your bodies rises, it feels so fucking good to be filled by him, every move you make comes out of pure bliss, panting, sliding on his cock in a rhythm that makes him shudder and moan; Felix feels every part of his body beat intensely, enjoying every thrust into him.

“Oh, fuck, l-ove, ke-keep going please, I’m gonna cum, fuuck” he whimpers, desperate in a high-pitched tone, closing his eyes.

Felix thinks about the idea of cumming all of him inside you, of filling you up, brings him to a better ecstasy and in a thick sigh of relief and satisfaction, he manages to cum, relaxing a bit all the tension built in his body, making his thighs restless in soft tingling and trembling. You rest your hands on his shoulders and hide your face on the side of his neck, moaning close to his ear and with your face brushing against his soft hair, gently overwhelming you with his sweet scent, you bite your lip at the sensation of his hot semen shooting inside you and you also sense you’re so close to your climax that, despite being slightly tired, you intensify and increase each movement, sliding a little more slippery as you are filled with his cum. You hug him without thinking, your walls squeeze his sensitive cock still stuck in your core, you’re climaxing so intensely that you open your mouth almost in an inaudible squeal, your vision blurs for a few seconds and you let yourself release completely onto your boyfriend.

You feel the joining of agitated chests and breaths, Felix hug you warmly wrapping your back, once again your body melts at the slightest touch of his, but you can’t help but feel him so close to you, acting tenderly. Felix doesn’t even have to say it, but you know he loves you, you feel it too, so you relax your body on top of him, stroke his hair and he gives you a soft kiss on your shoulder as he caresses your back and keeps you in such a vulnerable position with both sexes together, with you on top of him until you decide to move.

——————-

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @bubblebisk

[marblepasta-creepyhornet]

EJ, Toby and Cody (plus whoever else you wanna write for lol) straight SIMPING for a plus size female reader? 🙏🙏

Read my mind, babes 💙

Creeps x Plus Size!Fem!Reader

———

EJ

No matter what you look like EJ’s always simping for you (he’ll only make it exclusively known to you and you alone). Not because of embarrassment, but only because he likes focusing any amount of love and attention he can muster to you only! 🥹

But, honey, if you’re plus sized, HE IS ON YOU LIKE BUTTER ON A SLICE OF TOAST- 😉😏

You’re thicc in all the right places and he wants you in anyway way, shape and form! He adores every inch of you 🥺

Let’s say you’re insecure, he will shower you with compliments, affection and love. But, if that isn’t your style, he’ll do anything you ask of him to help you feel better. 😩

He’d die if he saw you in a crop top and shorts! The way the shorts hugged your thighs that this man wants to be squished between, combined with your cute tummy showing, he’d be all over you! 😊 (I’d simp for you too (y/n))

If anyone in the mansion bullies you? It’s over for them. I’m serious, Jack almost killed Jeff when he felt the need to make a rude comment about you.

Toby:

He’s very vocal about your body! He loves to constantly remind you that you’re pretty and beautiful (it especially helps on days where you’re feeling insecure 😣). Like his words calm you down and help you feel better. He’s always making sure that you know that he loves you and doesn’t want you to doubt yourself :)

He will literally start fights if anyone makes a derogatory comment about your body 👊😤

This man will W O R S H I P you! When yall are in the bedroom, he’s kissing every part of your body and bringing the praise comments 🥺🥺🥺

“S-s-so pretty,” “All mi-mi-mine,” “M-my pretty gir-girl,” (need me a man or woman like this fr 🫣)

He’s a 100/10 simp for you!

Cuddling? You’re big spoon most of the time (not that you mind)

Circling back onto days where you feel insecure, Toby will help cheer you up by spending the day doing things you like.

He’s very committed 😌

Hugs from behind are a given, just accept it. He loves showing his love for your body through physical touch 🧡

Also- one night while walking through the woods, Toby heard some assholes making fun of you and he fucked them up- ANYWAYS 😗

Cody (X-Virus)

Like EJ and Toby, he’s all for worship, BUT he isn’t as vocal of the two-

(Also how you look literally doesn’t matter) sweetie, here’s there for your intelligence, but not in the way of using you, but in the way of him wanting to be near you 👀

He’ll have you sitting in his lap while he’s writing in his lab, you get lowkey paranoid that you’re too heavy and you’ll try to move, but bro is dragging you right back 🙂‍↕️

Now, I like to think that a bit like EJ, he likes to be creative in his free time, so one day while you two are in his lab, he’ll sketch you while you’re sitting around 🥹

ROMANTIC GESTURES!!! This man is all for buying you flowers, chocolates, and whatever else to show you that he loves you.

Also if he hears anyone talking shit, he kidnaps them as a lab rat for tortuous experiments ;)

As for cuddling? Say he’s sat on the edge of the bed waiting for you when you come into view from the doorway. He’s instantly wrapping his arms around you and gently pulling you into bed with him- 😭 (I’m gonna be sick-)

HEAR ME OUT! HE STEALS YOUR HOODIES! MF sneaks into your closet and just *YOINK* 🏃💨

It’s honestly so cute how your hoodies look so oversized on him- they go down almost to his knees and covers his whole arm to a little past the tips of his fingers.

But you don’t mind though because he’s honestly the best thing to happen to you and he appreciates you 😭

[sunarc]

Trading Places

A/N: So the ending was actually different to this but i wanted full on subby nanami lol but let me know if yall would like to read the alternative ending where nanami takes charge. Also @kentophilia heres some nanami for you babe

CW: being tied up, degrading, praise, sub nanami, cowgirl, reader really gets into it

Nanami had never been one to just completely give up dominance. Seeing him in a submissive state was like seeing a pig flying in the sky. It never happened, and he was content with it being that way. That is until you suddenly asked him to let you be in charge one night. Nanami’s eyes grew wide as if you’d just asked him to do the impossible.

“You want… to tie me up?” The question came out with a confused tone.

You looked down shyly but maintained a brave tone.

“Well, yeah,” you said. Your hands dragged softly down his chest as your eyes looked up to meet his dark ones. “I just want to try something new,” you smiled innocently. “Let me take the reins for once, I promise you’ll enjoy it.”

Nanami stared hesitantly. He’d never been tied up before, usually being the one doing the tying. His eyes looked down at your soft pleading ones, and he just couldn't help but fall into your trap.

Your touch was so delicate, leading Nanami to your shared room. You pressed gentle, reassuring kisses on his skin as you tightly tied his wrists together above his head.

“Are you okay?” You held his face gently in your hand.

You knew this was new for him. You wanted to have your fun, but his comfort came first before anything else.

“I’m alright, my love,” a soft smile played on his lips.

Your hands dragged down his body toward the bulge in his underwear. You placed wet kisses and rubbed his clothed bulge while you scanned his body. He was staring down at you with a dark gaze as his bottom lip was pulled between his teeth. He was getting desperate, almost needy, for you. He needed you to touch him—something more than a delicate touch blocked by fabric.

“Just-ugh fuck, I need you, love,” he grunted.

You chuckled at his idea of begging. Something about having him at your mercy left you feeling excited. You were in charge. You were the one making him beg now. You pulled his cock free from his restricting underwear. Your eyes grew wide at how achingly hard he was. The tip of his cock was a bright red as pre-cum slowly leaked down the side.

"Aww, you really do need me, don't you?” you smiled.

You licked at the tip of his cock, gathering the precum on your tongue.

“So tasty, even when you're desperate.”

Your hand moved in slow motion, stroking his cock at a pace you knew would drive him crazy. Nanami let out a soft groan as he bucked his hips upward into your hand.

“Don’t be a tease.” His eyes stared down at you with a warning look.

“Don’t forget who’s in charge,” you said with a devilish smirk. You licked a long, slow strip from the base of his cock to the tip, earning a deep moan from him.

You wanted to have a little fun while you could. This was the one time you could do whatever you wanted, and you knew by the time you’d be done, Nanami would make sure it was the last. You wanted to tease him as much as you could. You knew how much Nanami loved touching you, he loved the thought that his hands could have you writhing with pleasure. So why not show him how pretty you look touching yourself? You inched forward so that you were now straddling Nanami’s abs. You leaned forward to press a kiss against his lips.

“How bad do you need me, Ken?” Your voice was silky smooth as you asked.

“Real bad, my love. How about you untie me so I can show you?” He smiled into your kiss.

You hummed as a reply, "Mmm, I don’t think so. How about you beg for my pussy and maybe I’ll let you go?”

You leaned back, giving Nanami a full view of how your pussy was dripping for him. Your finger glided between your folds, circling around your clit. You let out a breathy moan at the sudden surge of pleasure.

“Feels so good, Ken. Look at how wet my pussy gets for you,” you continued rubbing slow, teasing circles. “Imagine if it were your tongue, slurping all my juices, letting it drip down your chin, tasting all of me." You dragged your words.

Your eyes looked down at Nanami's, who was so focused on the way your fingers dripped with your essence, massaging where he so desperately wanted his tongue to be. His tongue swiped against his bottom lips as he stared deeply at the way your fingers dipped in and out of your hole. The noises coming from you were like a symphony of the greatest composition of music Nanami had ever heard.

“Come on, love, untie me, and I promise I can make you feel so much better,” he grunted.

You knew Nanami’s touch would leave you shaking within seconds, but you didn’t want to end the fun too early.

“But I’m having so much fun listening to you beg for me,” you teased.

Nanami threw his head back, letting out a frustrated laugh.

"Darling, if you let me go now, I promise I’ll be somewhat lenient with your punishment,” he gave a faux smile.

You ignored his meaningless threat and continued a steady pace of pumping your fingers in and out of your hole. You let out blatantly loud moans before slipping your fingers free to drag them to your mouth, licking and sucking the juices that dripped from them. You hummed at the taste of yourself, eyes closed, while you exaggerated a sigh of pleasure.

“Oh, I'm sorry." You gave Nanami a doe-eye look. “Did you want a taste?”

Nanami was losing his mind at this point. He had been unknowingly rutting his hips upwards, wordlessly begging you to let him have you.

"Please, Angel, please can I touch you?”

At this point, he had completely given up his rough persona and was left vulnerable to you, pleading for your touch. His eyes squeezed shut as he struggled with the restraints. The tip of his cock was a bright red, practically screaming for you.

“I need you so bad it fucking hurts,” he said, completely losing himself. You smiled at this new Nanami that you had never seen before.

“It’s okay, baby, you can have me,” you spoke softly, finally pleased to hear him beg.

You leveled yourself above his cock and slowly began to sink down onto him. Nanami let out a deep groan at the feeling of your warm hole trapping him in. You lifted yourself up and down, moving at an achingly slow pace.

"Faster,” he grunted.

You frowned at his demand.

“Who’s in charge?” You asked, smiling menacingly at his angry face, covered in a deep blush.

He bit his lip, refusing to answer you still keeping eye contact. You circled your hips, making his eyes roll back as you asked again.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” You said in a cocky manner.

You knew you were going to be a goner by the time you untied him, so why not make the most of it?

“Let me hear you say it, and I’ll think about giving you what you want.”

Nanami groaned loudly as you came down harder on his cock, smiling at how you had him blushing and panting for you.

“You’re so pretty when you're needy.”

Nanami bucked his hips upward with a groan.

“You don’t understand what I'm going to do to you when I get free,” he said, pulling on the restraints.

“Oh yeah? I guess I’ll just have to keep you looking pretty and tied up then yeah?” you smirked.

You bounced your hips up and down on him, moaning freely. Nanami’s chest dripped with sweat as he groaned your name, breathing heavily. You leaned down, wrapping your hand around his neck, squeezing softly.

“You like that?” you moaned “You like when I fuck you like this?” you asked

He turned away, closing his eyes as small grunts left him. You're not sure what came over you. Maybe the feeling of being in charge was completely taking over you, but your hand came down on his cheek, slapping him as you continued to ride him, picking up speed. He let out a gasp mixed with a moan as you continued bouncing on his cock. Your body was trembling with pleasure. Nanami wanted to hold on. To keep himself from giving you what you wanted, his submission. He couldn’t hold on any longer. His whimpers filled the room. He wanted to touch you, needed it. His eyes watched as your cunt slid down his length, dripping with your juices. He felt himself craving you more than anything in the world. He needed to have his hands wrapped around your hips, dragging your body along his length.

“Fuck- just please,” he moaned, yearning for you. His hips bucked upward into you, matching your thrust, as his eyes rolled back.

“Please what?” You asked as your hand came down against his cheek again, earning you a low groan as you felt his cock twitch inside of you. Nanami would never admit it out loud, but something about this bratty behavior of yours, slapping him and fucking him as if you were in charge was sending him over the edge. His eyes rolled back in pleasure as he let out a breathy whimper.

"Please, baby, please go faster.”

Your smile grew wide, pleased with his submission.

“Good boy,” you purred, “you like it when I ride you like this, don’t you? You like getting fucked like a nasty little slut.”

Your words were doing something to Nanami that he had never experienced before. His moans were flowing freely. His hips bucked upwards into you, matching your rhythm. You circled your hips down on him. Your nails dragged down his chest, leaving a red streak in their trail.

“Say you're my slut, Kento,no-scream it.” You bounced up and down at a faster and harder pace.

You felt something primal growing inside of you. Listening to the way this strong, beefy man whined under you, begging you to fuck him, leaving you feeling overwhelmed with power.

“Scream to the world how I fucked my submissive boy so good,” you moaned the filthy words.

You had never expected yourself to become so dominant and mean, but the feeling was so good. Nanami was a whimpering mess trying to contain himself, but between the way your hips slammed down onto his and the pain of your nails, he was stuck in a blissful haze. He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to gain some of his former self back.

"Aw, come on, don't hide it." Your voice grew lower as you spoke. “I know how much you like being my little bitch now." Your hand came down to slap him yet again, and you were riding on a high of dominance that you never wanted to come down from. Nanami’s eyes burned with anger as he stared up at you. Nanami pulled on the restraints, his anger evident in how the veins appeared on his forearms. He was fuming with the desire to put you back in your place.

“You must really—ughh,” he was cut off by his own moan.

His hands squeezed into fists digging his nails into his palms. He was losing his mind with the feeling of pure lust taking all control. His desire for you was overcome by any need to be in charge. He let out shaky moans that had your eyes turning into stars. You were obsessed with this look. Sweat dripped down his body.his jaw hanging low as his eyes squeezed shut while a string of moans flowed from him. 

“Look at me baby” you moaned while your hand held his jaw in place to keep his eyes on you. 

This surge of dominance felt good. His orgasm was in your hands. You were in charge of his pleasure. You wanted to hear him beg, to hear him scream your name crying out for a release. 

“Please, please please please” he moaned. 

A smile crept onto your face as you listened to his pleas. You wanted to fuck him into a whiny mess barely able to comprehend anything but your cunt squeezing around him. 

“Please what?” You asked as your hips slammed down onto his cock “You want to cum?”

Nanami nodded his head desperately pleading for a release without words.

“Oh baby, I need more than just that. You know better.” You squeezed his jaw tighter as you slowed your hips to circle his cock. “Use your words like a good slut”

Nanami grunted at this new power dynamic. It was all so new to him but he’d be willing to do anything to make you happy. 

“Please can I cum? I need it so bad. I wanna fill your pretty pussy to the brim with my cum. Please baby please” he whimpered breathlessly as he bucked his hips up into you. 

He was a wreck, eyes rolling back as he trembled from the intense pleasure. He had been deduced to a cum hungry slut and you were loving every moment of him. 

“That's my good boy. Cum with me and make me proud.” you moaned.

His release struck him like a truck. He was trembling eyes rolling back as high-pitched moans he never knew he could make filled the room. The orgasm shared between the two of you felt so intense and overwhelming that you were left feeling weak as the two of you laid skin to skin catching your breaths. You moved to untie him and gently massaged his wrist. 

“How do you feel?” You asked with a soft voice. 

Nanami hummed and pulled you closer needing your warmth. 

“I’ve never experienced something like that” he whispered the words as if shocked by his own response. 

“Thankyou” you spoke “For letting me take control”

“I’d do anything to make you happy, Angel”

[zooliminology]

Update/What's in the Future

[Hey guys, you probably have noticed that this is going to be likely the longest dry spell of real Zoolim content in a while. I apologize for this. Life has gotten in the way of a lot of things.

-I'm an art student in college, and last semester I didn't take any art classes so I was basically free to do whatever, but this semester I've taken three studio art classes, which are all very intensive and in honesty I would not recommend it! If you're a studio art student stick to 1-2 studio art classes a semester so you don't go insane please! I'm currently absolutely SWAMPED with work right now. -The Golbo video and the video that is imminently due this Tuesday (that i am writing this post about instead of working on) are the results of my New Media class. Considering the ten thousand million fucking art assets I have to draw for these it's been very time consuming (still want to do it though.) -A lot of life things have happened to me recently, not to be super personal but a family member of mine is sick and my living conditions are not the absolute Best, so it's been taking a heavy toll on my health.

All of these combined, especially the studio classes part because I've been bled dry of creativity energy relating to zoolim basically, has caused this dry spell basically. My hopes are that after the semester ends (which is soon) I'll be able to work on things more. I feel bad about not working on it more but I have to draw things other than zoolim to literally stay sane because it's a lot.

So I guess that leaves us with one question: what's in the future?

Well, a lot of things... maybe? I'm a little dry on entity ideas right now but i have a few, and I'd like to revisit some entities more and expand on them. And while I enjoy the videos and the non-entry ideas I have for material, I would also like to continue the 'traditional' paintings and entries. So I hope I can work on that alongside other things! I also have more ideas for videos, but considering how I have to do nearly all of the work, aside from the narration (thanks Darvinos) any video production will likely slow down dramatically after the semester is over. Until my next New Media class at least, but IDK if it will let me make the same shit.

I also have some deeper lore and a story semi-figured out, along with characters (you ever wonder who's taking the pictures? not the same person who's writing the captions!!!) but they would be hard to implement in this tumblr blog organically, so maybe they'll show up in some videos. I've thought of asking more people for help for this purpose, though I'd need to work out completely how that would work, and the moment that zoolim becomes more than some backrooms world i work on mostly by myself will become scary.

Sorry that this post is a big ramble, I hope yall understand and I swear the Longlegs video will come out pretty soon, it will be worked on again right after I post this lol. But please take care, and thank you for all the support you've shown me so far. It truly does mean a lot to me. I've said it several times but I'll say it again, I never imagined this shitty little art project about weird goobers in the backrooms would get so much attention lol.

ok end of post]

[jeridandridge]

Haaaaay, hope you're having a good day!

I had a prompt if you're feeling it! (Totally cool of you're not 😁) Ava squeezes some funds out of the superintendent for a team building weekend at a cabin in the mountains. Teacher!reader and melissa have been together for a minute (or it can be new 🤷‍♀️) but no one else knows. They get put together to share a room. They're excited (as excited as you can be for a "work trip/getaway" with your coworkers lol) until they have a huge fight either before or at the cabin. But before either of them can try to leave the situation, the group gets snowed in.

Angsty but with a happy ending maybe? Feel free to change whatever you want!

☆*~Thank yoooou ~*☆♡♡♡

I had so much fun with this! Thank you for the request 🩷 I hope you saw my media post for the day after 😉

Snow Storms

“Get ready yall! Load out is in ten minutes!”

It was far too early for Ava to be actually excited about something, but you were happy to see everyone amped up. Somehow Ava managed to get funds from the district for a team building weekend and now here you were, outside of Abbott on a Saturday morning before the sun is up.

When you see Melissa pull into the parking lot you hide a smile in your coffee cup. The relationship was still new enough where no one knew about your cozy bubble, you small smiles and hidden glances at school and all your dates and nights spent together.

“Are you ready to par-tay?!” Janine does a little dance next to you.

You let out a laugh putting your hand in your pocket. “I’ll let you know when I fully wake up.”

“Hey, hon, pipsqueak,” Melissa nods to you and Janine. Giving her a friendly smile you nod back.

“Are you ready for the trip Melissa? I hope we’re roomies!” Janine beams.

Melissa looks horrified and you can’t help but laugh.

It was going to be an interesting weekend. On the bus ride to the Poconos you sit across the aisle from Barb and Melissa, giving her an amused smile when she winks at you.

“Alright yall, I’m giving room assignments before I forget,” Ava stands up looking at the group. “There’s only one single room, so that’s mine. Janine you’re with Barb, Melissa, you’re with the young blood, and Jacob you’re with Gregory. I’d put myself with Mr Eddie but this is a school sanctioned trip” she smirks. Gregory looks terrified as usual.

Rooming with Melissa would be difficult for you on this trip, especially since you love how cute she looks in her pajamas. It’ll be hard to keep your hands to yourself. Your girlfriend must notice your blush because that’s when she decides to tease you.

“Hey hon, you better not snore.” She shoots you a look across the aisle.

“Don’t worry, Schemmenti. I’m a great roommate.”

-

Two hours later your eyes go wide when you see the place you’d be staying in. The cabin is a nice one and you have no idea how Ava managed to get something like it. It’s a two story perched far back off the rode just near the ski slope. There’s a fine dusting of snow on the ground, not quite enough to enjoy the area fully.

As everyone grabs their bags for the overnight stay you hang back playfully nudging Melissa’s shoulder with a smirk. “Lucky me, huh?” You tell her quietly.

“You’re lucky, girlfriend.” Barbara looks to Melissa almost exhausted already.

“I’d tell you it won’t be so bad but, I can’t do that.” You laugh watching Janine and Jacob interact.

Inside the massive cabin everyone brings their bags in and finds their room. As soon as the door shuts your back is pushed against the dark wood and sweet, glossy lips are pressed against yours.

Smirking against her lips you snake your arms around her neck running your fingers through auburn strands.

“Mmm, Mel, don’t start something you can’t finish.” You smirk meeting sparkling green eyes. Melissa playfully growls squeezing your backside.

“This giant house, no one would hear a thing, Tesoro.”

Laughing you push yourself off the door. “C’mon, rain check until later. I wanna see what Ava has in mind for team building.” You smile. “I’m a little scared actually.”

Melissa playfully swats your butt, wiping the corner of her lips with that devilish smirk you love so much.

-

After a few hours of get to know you activities and dinner you stand by the large window overlooking the ski hill watching the snow come down.

“Are we sure this is gonna stop sometime soon? Because this is coming down.” You worry.

“Uh yeah about that,” Jacob sits up on his phone, “That snow storm shifted and we’re getting hit.” He says holding his phone out.

Ava looks at the phone horrified. “I’m gonna be stuck here for more than 24 hours with you people?!”

“Could be worse. At least we’re all sorta friends.” He shrugs. “Why don’t we start one of the activities?”

As the snowfall gets heavier and the sun goes down you get a little nervous at how much there actually is.

“What’s wrong, hon?” Melissa asks plopping down beside you on the large sofa. Quirking a brow you look around at the group spread around the room enjoying themselves.

shoulder to shoulder with the redhead you hum. “I don’t know how long I can last snowed in up here,”

Melissa nods patting your knee. “Don’t worry, hon. I’m here.” She smiles.

“Ooo cutie alert, what’s goin on here?” Ava smirks pointing between the two of you.

“Sitting, talking. Normal human interaction.” You shoot back at your friend.

“Nah, yall are cozy.”

“Ava, they’re simply sitting together. Besides, Melissa has a dinner invitation from Gary.” Barb smiles proudly.

Hearing this bit of new information has you quirking a brow, fuming on the inside. You pretend to find a spot on the coffee table very interesting as your mind runs wild. Why would Melissa hide that from you? You knew the vending machine guy had a thing for Mel, he had eyes of course, eyes that lingered too long sometimes. You hated him.

“Barb, I already told ya, it ain’t gonna happen.”

The air in the room suddenly feels tense, the fire in the room making you sweat. You’ve already blocked about the conversation happening as you get up sliding swiftly out of the room.

At the front door you slide on your boots and the nearest coat going out to the front walkway, letting out a shaky breath as the cold hits your cheeks and the snow gets in your eyes. Letting out a breath you tip your head up watching the snowflakes come down.

“Why did she go outside?” Ava shrugs watching Melissa run for the door.

“Tesoro, get back in here!” Melissa yells down the long driveway as she jogs towards you. You can’t do anything but scoff, eyes on the

“Go inside, Melissa.”

“No. Get over here and talk to me.”

You can see her shiver in her sweater out of the corner of your eye and you almost reach over to pull her close to you.

“Why didn’t you tell me Gary asked you out?”

“Hon,” Melissa sighs with a shrug. “I didn’t think it was important.”

“Not important.” You laugh. “You know I hate the guy and how he talks to you. So yeah, it’s important to me. Is that also why you don’t wanna tell anyone we’re together? Make sure you still have back ups if this doesn’t work out?” You play dirty when you’re mad, and you feel like she deserves it.

Melissa’s nose is red and her arms are crossed as the wind whips. “That’s not it at all! You know I love you.”

Shaking your head you put your hands in your pockets. She’d never said those words before but you knew. It didn’t change the fact that she hid something like that from you.

“Yeah, well maybe if you can’t tell people we’re together and can’t turn a man down when he asks you on a date, this isn’t a good idea.”

Melissa’s shoulders deflate and her lips part. “You don’t mean that.” She lets out.

Jaw clenched, your eyes burning from a mix of tears and the wind you stand completely silent for a moment before the sound of crunching snow sounds from underneath your boots as you go.

Huffing behind you Melissa follows close by back to the cabin. “Are you really not gonna talk to me?”

“I’ll talk to you, Melissa. We’re talking right now.” You shiver looking at the front door, Barbara nearby through the glass.

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Spinning on your heels Melissa almost jumps back, looking at you with tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know.” You answer honestly. The look in her eyes is enough to make your heart ache, but you won’t back down.

Melissa looks behind you, Ava and Janine are practically pushed on the glass watching you both while Barbara tries to pull them away.

“You want them to know?” Melissa asks, confusion written on your face.

“What are you-“

Before you finish your sentence, your girlfriend wraps her arms around your neck pulling you into a soft kiss. The chill from her nose hits your skin and her soft lips warm you up instantly. Putting your hands in your pockets you grin against her lips wrapping her into your coat.

The warm bubble you two created makes you forget where you are and why you were so mad.

“I told yall! I told yall they were together!” Ava yells from the door.

Breaking the kiss you rest your forehead against hers.

“Well played, Schemmenti.” You smirk.

“I love you, Tesoro. I’m sorry.”

“I really do love you, Mel.”

Going back inside, you’re teased mercilessly by Ava and gushed over Barbara. Team building weekends aren’t so bad.

[lowkeyrobin]

hey! i liked your writing! could you write something about fuckshit and the reader preparing for exams? it's kinda boring, but i really need it right now. you can make it short. honestly whatever you want, feel free. thanks!

🔋

yeah sure! ; I just recently had exams as well and it was not fun 😭🙏 ; I rushed this a bit because I wanted to get it out for you but yeah lol ; also welcome 🔋! ; thanks for requesting, hope you enjoy :) ; I decided to put this in hc form because it was easier and I didn't have motivation to make this a whole ass readable oneshot LOL

FUCKSHIT ; exam prep

summary ; studying for exams with fuckshit

warnings ; language, mentions of weed, sexual jokes, making out, pet names (baby & babe)

word count ; 362

l/f/c = least favorite subject

masterlist

you were supposed to be helping each other study for exams

you mostly struggled with l/f/s while he was struggling awfully with biology/physical science

it was a struggle getting him to do anything LMFAOOO

"what function do ribosomes serve in the cell?"

he's just sitting there staring at you like 😒😐

"fuckshit"

"what??? oh my god, I dunno"

"just guess"

he's got the biggest attitude ever....

"to fuck you? dude i don't know"

"how are you a junior in high school again?"

yall get a little... distracted for a minute (a half hour)

he's literally straddling your waist and making out with you on his bed

he smells so rank but you couldn't care in that moment (the weed smell gets you sometimes let's be real)

you're massaging his scalp as he's straight up bruising your lips with how hard he's kissing you

one, he loves you and is addicted to you

two, he doesn't wanna study and is trying to distract you

his hands are EVERYWHERE trying to just make out with you

plus he's relieving your stress so... win win situation

anyway, back to studying...

afterwards, he's more compliant (much more high as well)

he's probably not gonna pass again but it's fine

you definitely are though, you're like a wizard or something

"damn, you're a fucking nerd"

"don't start"

"okay smartass"

"okay dumbass"

yall r doing anything but studying let's be so honest

when u are though... it's serious

he's a lot more focused while high so he can actually get shit done

for a while it's just silence while looking over notes and then he'll start staring at you all focused

he's admiring you, trust me

"what does this mean?" just to talk to you

"they rotate around each other at a specific speed"

"thank you, baby"

rests his head on your shoulder while he's reading over boring notes

"babe, what's the difference between prokaryotes and eukaryotes again?"

you spend 20 mins hyping each other up with music

like the stereo is blaring and you're dancing and jumping all around the room

you have to bribe him with kisses and weed to finish the last page of notes he had to go over

but it ended up alright

[stormblessed95]

I know this is a boring convo for yall. But Jimin literally sees JK likes his brother from another mom. Nothing he said about his album or during the show adds up to your theory of them being boyfriends. Dont forget he said whether he can even love someone (i didnt saw any Jikookers mentioning it as it wasn't translation error or album theme but his irl words) I don't think JK remotely comes to his ideal type nor he have that type of feelings for JK. I'm not talking about goofy talks they do for a lil funny moment infront of cam. But the real Park Jimin behind the cam totally sees JK as his brother.

Boring? No, id love a boring ask. Annoying and repetitive? Yes.

Are you trying to change my mind? Why? What does it matter to you? What you think of their relationship doesn't matter to me.

This post, also for you

Because the whole "your theory" comment. Bitch I KNOW you didn't read my posts. Especially because of your "I didn't see any jikookers mentioning it" comment. Because I did. And I even highlighted it in red. Sooooo take your stupid ass opinions to your own blog. Or at least to jikookers who are doing whatever the fuck you are accusing them of. Or at a very bare minimum, read the posts about the theories you are mentioning in the blog you decide to message. Because all this does is make me roll my eyes at you. Zero of any kind of productive conversation with this sort of ask.

I can't and won't give a shit about your opinions, if you won't give a shit about mine, by actually reading them.

Fascinating you know the real park Jimin behind the cameras. I hope you share your thoughts with him, not me next time. Thanks.

The funny little moments in front of the cam, like asking for kisses....

Jimins type in girl as per early year interview

Cute, shorter than him, long hair, nice

Jimins type in boys as per interviews....

Oh wait, why would they ever ask him that. Lol but he has been pretty clear with hints towards queerness/bi-ness. And he has stayed at one point to JK that JK is his type.... So perhaps next time you meet up with Jimin IRL, since you know him and all, make more an effort to get to know him better? Idk

Normally I'd just ignore you, but I'm so tired of all this bullshit. Take it to someone who cares.

[lahooozaherr]

What Was I Made For?

Part 2

Please note: This blog stands with Palestine. If you are interacting with my account and TLOU related posts, I ask that you PLEASE visit these links. Be critical and mindful while partaking in TLOU content and be aware that creator Neil Druckmann is a Zionist.

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF, Joel is very soft and deserves softness, slight angst if you squint?, yearning, “first date jitters”, a smooch!! Honestly that’s kind of it, nothing wild happens in this. As always, let me know if I missed something 🫶🏻

MY WORKS ARE 18+ MINORS DNI. AGELESS/BLANK ACCOUNTS WILL BE BLOCKED.

Chapter Summary: Since your recovery, you’ve settle into town and your routine nicely. Tommy sets you up with a job at the stables caring for the horses after their morning patrol, where you regularly see Joel. The two of you spend a lot of time together and Ellie has noticed. Joel asks if you’ve ever ridden a horse before, and upon discovering you haven’t, asks you take you on a horseback ride.

A/N: I had to rewrite parts of this, sit and contemplate, daydream, etc until I was finally somewhat satisfied with what I wanted to do in this chapter. So if it’s seems kinda clunky I apologize lol. I’m planning to make this a three parter so we’ll get to the fun in the next part! I can’t make promises on when since a lot of my writing is very dependent on my mood and how creative I feel. But I’ve also started my Death Worker apprenticeship and it gives me enough homework to space out for the month, so I have to keep balance! I hope yall enjoy this little installment. It’s a special little project for me, I just want Joel to be happy and to have someone that brings out his ability and need to process his grief.

Joel Vibes Playlist

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | AO3 | My Taglist

Joel continued to visit you as you recovered, bringing you some of your meals and discussing the books you shared interest in. Sometimes you’d share moments of vulnerability with him when you spoke of your past, and he’d do the same. He was guarded over some parts, but you understood. It can be terrifying to share that much about oneself.

You offered him a kind of softness and compassion he hadn’t come across in a very long time. That’s not to say he hadn’t, Tess was compassionate in her own ways, albeit her tough exterior, and he had immense respect for that.

He wasn’t used to it and at times he’d find himself questioning if he’s too harsh around the edges. But you never withdrew from him, you welcomed him with a warm smile everyday. You displayed a genuine interest in his company, it had become a comfort for you. Inadvertently, it had become a comfort for him as well. A balm for his aches that he didn’t know he needed.

Ellie had started to notice the times he had been absent, usually after his morning patrol.

“I haven’t seen a lot of you lately,” Ellie noted as she takes another bite into her breakfast. Joel leans against the counter with his coffee mug and takes a sip before replying, “when I’m not doing patrol I’ve been checking on that woman I told you ‘bout.”

“Oh?” Ellie’s face brightens, the corners of her lips turning upward into a mischievous grin. “You got a girlfriend now, old man?”

Joel shoots a glare back at her, “no.” It doesn’t deter her and she smirks, “if you have to deny it like that then she probably is.” He releases an exasperated huff before taking another sip from his mug, “I’ve just been checkin’ on her. That’s all.”

“Whatever you say,” Ellie stands from her place at the table and walks to the sink beside him to deposit her dishes. Joel gives her shoulder a pat and squeezes with his free hand, she returns the gesture by placing her hand on his and squeezing back.

She heads for the door and turns back to him as she opens it and calls out, “it’d probably do you some good!” Shooting him finger guns as she backs out, he rolls his eyes.

Eventually, you’d meet her and her unending curiosity. Ellie wanted to figure out what drew Joel to you. Eating meals with her and Joel was refreshing, allowing you that feeling of belonging in this world again. Ellie was a firecracker with the mouth of a sailor and you grew to adore her all the same. She enjoyed your company and sensitivity towards her and her interests.

Your recovery was swift, you were in good hands with the town’s doctor. Upon the day she cleared you with a clean bill of health, Joel’s brother Tommy and his wife Maria helped set you up in one of the houses in town. The house was currently being used by a few other unrelated individuals, basically creating a roommate situation. You didn’t mind at all, you were immensely grateful. This was far better than your situation back in your previous QZ.

They took time to show you around town, showing you where everyone meets up to eat in town. Various “shops” in town, trading was “currency” of course. They helped you aquire you some new clothes and essentials

Tommy suggested bringing you on to work in the stables in the mornings, helping care for the horses when they returned from that shift of patrol. After getting to know you and what he’d been told by Joel, he felt that your delicate touch was just what was needed to care for the horses. He also knew how therapeutic it could be to be with them.

His suggestion was met by an immediate ‘yes’ by you. You were mostly excited to start doing your part. You had never worked with horses before but you were sure you’d get a hang of it in due time.

Horses are gentle creatures, you remember hearing of forms of therapy done alongside them from the days before. You could see why, they were calm for the most part. You had slightly worried about being intimidated by them but that subsided when you were introduced to them.

The stable-hands you worked alongside were thorough and patient when they trained you. Teaching you how to feed, brush and even untack the horses upon their returns. You got along with them quickly and with ease. It had been too long since you’d been able to give love and care to an animal.

Being in this position also meant seeing Joel very regularly. Whether that was on purpose by Tommy or not, you weren’t sure. But you didn’t mind, you treasured your bond you’d created with him in such a short amount of time. It had also been too long since you felt connected to another human being.

When he’d return from patrol, you’d welcome him back as you helped him remove the saddle from his horse, Old Beardy, a beautiful and well mannered horse. He’d stick around to chat about what he’d seen that morning as he helped brush his coat as you fed him. When the horse would nicker at you and nudge you with his snout, you’d return the gesture with affectionate scratches and cooing.

Joel would watch you in admiration, an old and almost unfamiliar feeling that had been simmering under the service had started to take root. Everyday it sprouts new leaves and blossoms. Although it was undeniable, he’d been afraid to name it. A while ago he had told himself he can’t let “someone like himself”, rough edges and all, dim your light. He had only recently begun to explore what it meant to be a father again, he wasn’t sure if he was fit to re-explore having something more with you.

He was scared that he would hurt whatever he touched. That he would fail to protect, again.

You, on the other hand, are aware of the crush you’ve been harboring. Although there was that little, nagging voice in your head that would ask how someone as independent and strong as Joel could have those kinds of feelings for you.

You’d sometimes catch the way he looks at you when you’re focused on your work in the stables. Or the warmth he regards you with compared to others. You weren’t sure if he returned your feelings exactly, but you’d caught on to small gestures of his.

It was hard to deny the way your heart sped up in your chest when you’d greet him in the mornings. How it felt to have his eyes on you, his undivided attention. Sometimes guiding you by the small of your back when he walked with you through town, on the way back from the stables or your meals.

But how does one court another in an apocalypse?

—————————————————————————

“Mornin’, Joel,” you turn to see Joel returning Beardy to his stall, back from his morning shift.

He returns your greeting with nod and a smile as he begins to remove the horse's saddle, “Mornin’ sweetheart.”

You turn back to your task of cleaning your brush, hiding how you fight back against a grin that twists your lips and the warmth spreading across your cheeks.

You finish up and join Joel at his side, handing him a brush. He takes it from your hand, brushing his against yours in the process. Beardy turns his head towards you and bumps his nose against your arm, he knows what time it is. With a loving roll of your eyes, you remove an apple from the apron you wore, “Yeah yeah boy, I’ve got you, don’t worry.”

Joel truly admires the way you interact with the horses. You move around them with confidence and intention, he’s pleased to see his idea of suggesting this job for you to Tommy seemed to really suit you. You’ve really come out of your shell since your recovery. You were very thoughtful and attentive to the horses you worked with daily.

“I haven’t thought to ask ‘til just now,” Joel begins as he works to brush the horse's shoulder. “Have you ever ridden one?”

You snicker, “ironically, no. I’ve somehow come this far in life without the privilege.”

Joel is almost surprised, people are typically kind of afraid of the animal at first. You acted as if you’d always been around them.

Joel fights to look neutral as he offers, “I could….take you on a ride…”

He pauses and you glance at each other quickly as he almost nervously adds, “I mean, if you want.” To not seem overly dependent on your answer, he gives an indifferent shrug, but the smile behind his gesture betrays him.

With an excited sparkle in your eye, you perk up and smile, “Really? When?” You never shy away from showing your emotions or how eager you are. He also appreciates that about you, it’s helped provide some kind of a balance in his life. Regular connection with someone in touch with their emotions he finds safety and refuge in. “Emotion” is something he just only shows to a select few.

“How about this next day off?”

“You mean it?”

“When have I ever not meant what I said, sweetheart?” He flashes a smug grin and you shake your head with a chuckle.

“That’s very true. In that case, I’d love to.”

Joel finishes his brushing and sets the tool aside on a hook, “Alright, I’ll be at your house first thing in the morning? Before sunrise, I think you’d like seein’ that.”

You remove your apron and hang it, adjusting your coat as you do. You walk up to him and state, “It’s a date.”

He’s caught off guard and slightly frowns, not in disagreement but having trouble processing what you just said. A date.

You frown back and a sinking feeling almost lands in your abdomen, then his lips curve into a smile. A warm, humored one.

“It’s a date.”

Relief washes over you in the form of a big grin you can’t seem to fight off anymore, biting your bottom lip. He tosses you a wink before turning to leave the stables.

—————————————————————————

Maybe calling it a date wasn’t such a good idea, because it’s added much more pressure than you’d originally intended. You don’t date in this kind of world, do you?

You’ve spent a good 30 minutes bouncing back and forth between outfit choices, the very few you own. Pieces that are more about durability and appropriate for weather and not so much…attractiveness. But you wanted to at least try.

One of your roommates, Lisa, passes by your door on the way back from the bathroom you share, noticing you fidgeting at your outfit.

“You’re up early,” she takes notice, she herself is getting ready for her own morning shift. It’s your day off and unusually early for you to be up and about.

Her voice startles you and you turn to greet her, “Morning, Lisa.”

“Morning! You got something goin’ on today?”

“Yes, uh…” you become flustered as heat threatens to take over your face. “I’m going on a horseback ride with Joel.”

Her face lights up, “are you finally going on a date with grumpy Joel?”

“You really shouldn’t call him that. And yes? No? Maybe? What do you mean ‘finally’?”

She smiles knowingly and folds her arms across her chest, “I don’t know, it’s not like you spend most of your free time with him. On top of time you get to see him when you’re working.”

“Is that….bad?”

“Not at all, girl. I just think it’s about damn time.”

You blow a raspberry at her and chuckle as you make final touches on your outfit, she mimics you and taps your shoulder with the knuckles of her fist, “you look good, stop worrying.”

—————————————————————————

Joel approaches the door to your home. He’s nervous, if he’s being honest with himself. He can’t remember the last time he’d even been on a date, even before the outbreak. He was way more invested in being a father and running his business.

He rubs his hands on his jeans, palms slightly sweaty. He takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and knocks on the door. You open it shortly after, whispering to him a “good morning” before quietly exiting and closing the door behind you. He echoes the greeting in a similar tone of voice, being mindful of your roommates you share the home with.

When you smile it makes his stomach turn over, a weird dance between anxiety and peace plays inside of him. He feels so out of practice, but something about your energy helps ease those worries and grounds him.

The walk to the stables is quiet, something he chalks up to it being so early for the two of you on your mutual day off. But really, his mind is also racing, so it’s just a convenient excuse for him to gather himself on the way there.

When the two of you have Old Beardy prepared and ready, he looks to you, “you ready?”

A glimmer of joy is in your eyes, “absolutely!”

“Alright, let me help you up.”

“Oh, right,” you say hesitatingly, looking over the horse and saddle wondering how this will work. A chuckle rumbles in his chest before he kneels beside you, holding out his hands laced together.

“I’ll lift you up. Just step here and swing your leg over.”

He can still sense your hesitancy and offers you more reassurance, “don’t worry, I’ve got ya. I won’t let you fall.”

You trust him implicitly, you have ever since you’ve built your relationship with him. So without fear, you move as he instructs. When you successfully land on the saddle, you let out a squeak in triumph.

Joel pats your leg as he stands back up. “Atta girl,” he remarks in his southern-drawl.

That embarrassing heat begins to crawl back up your spine. What did he just say? But you love it, can he say it again please?

Joel lifts himself up and settles right behind you in the saddle, caging you in his arms. His broad chest against your back is warm and all encompassing. You haven’t been this physically close to him since he rescued you. It’s electrifying, a feeling you crave more of.

Joel has similar feelings about this, but stays professional. He has to. This isn’t that kind of date, or so he tells himself.

Beardy begins to trot in response to Joel’s whistle and commanding movements. You gasp in amazement and laugh, Joel can’t help but smile to himself as he listens to your small reactions.

Soon, the two of you’re out the gate. The sky is still somewhat dark, but a light in the distance signals that sunrise is on its way. Joel has the perfect spot in mind.

“How’re you doin’, sweetheart?”

“I’m great, this is so fun,” you respond joyously. His laugh in response is deep and rich as he signals the horse to speed up just a little bit.

The surrounding area is quiet, save for sounds of crunching snow under Beardy’s hooves and Joel’s breathing. You debate if you should break it and say anything, but you can’t seem to come up with anything. You don’t really want to. It’s so peaceful, it’s just perfect. If it’s like this every morning, you almost wish you could join him on his patrol.

“Oh, hold very still,” Joel’s voice drops an octave as he lowers his lips next to your ear to murmur, lightly brushing, and it sends shivers down your spine. You hope he doesn’t notice. “Look.”

You look around and see a family of deer, a Doe and her two babies. They don’t notice the two of you, Joel had stopped to a standstill just a few yards from them. The scene is serene and makes your heart swell. It’s amazing how life goes on in the wild despite the outbreak. If anything, it has thrived even more so.

“Beautiful,” you’re careful to whisper so you don’t disturb the moment.

He’s caught himself watching you again, instead of the deer family. It feels like witnessing the world again, through your eyes. You hold an appreciation for the small things that he’s taken for granted before.

Joel nudges Beardy and turns his reins to walk beside carefully, avoiding the small family. They go on eating, undisturbed.

“It’s just right up here,” he states. After a few turns, he brings you to a small hilltop. The sun is just starting to rise as you arrive and Joel gives himself a mental pat on the back for his perfect timing.

“Oh, Joel….” You trail off, the view of the sunrise and landscape leaves you speechless as you take it all in. The snow before you is untouched and smooth. It sparkles in the growing light of the sun rising over the mountains. The sky itself looks like a beautiful painting with purple bleeding into red, pink and orange hues.

“This is…this is breathtaking, I don’t know how else to say it,” you profess to him.

“I know, it makes you just stop, doesn’t it?”

Almost instinctively, you lean back into Joel’s chest and relax. You feel him freeze and almost regret your action until you feel him quickly settle that fear, feeling his chest press against your back in return. You wish you could tell him his embrace makes you feel the safest you ever have.

The tranquility of the moment lingers on until you speak, “thank you, Joel.”

“You don’t have to thank me for this.”

“I mean, for everything. You’ve been so kind and welcoming to me since I came here. You saved me.”

You turn your upper body to face him, he looks back into your eyes with his deep brown irises. Suddenly, you could slice the tension in the air with a knife.

“Thank YOU, also,” his lips purse.

“Me? For what?”

“For helping remind me why I’m here. Why I’m STILL here.”

“Oh gosh, you didn’t need me for that…” you begin to turn your head away until suddenly, his large palm cups your opposite cheek and brings you back to face him.

Your breath hitches in your chest when your eyes meet his. Joel’s eyes are dark and formidable, but you’ve found the hints of compassion and warmth in them recently. This time is no exception, chocolate eyes conveying how genuine he is. He always means what he says.

The initial shock of him maneuvering you to face him subsides quickly, as if it’s natural of him to do this. He wonders if he’s being too forward when you nuzzle your cheek into the palm of his hand. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief.

“That means the world to me,” emotion breaks through your voice, tears begin to break through at the corners of your closed eyes.

Joel wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you close to him, placing a faint, soft press of his lips to the top of your head. Your quickened heartbeat threatens to expose you to him but you don’t seem to care, because maybe it’s time he knew.

Maybe it’s time he knew what he really means to you.

“Could we get down for a moment? I’d like to stretch my legs.”

“Hm? Sure thing,” Joel agrees. He jumps down from the horse and turns and reaches up to assist you. It seems the tables have turned from you using this moment to confess when he brings you down into his arms, encasing you in his embrace.

He doesn’t move and neither do you, as you search each other’s faces. Your lips part, you try to find the words you need but they’re as lost as you are in his eyes. You watch as his eyes dart down and back up to yours as the tip of his tongue quickly darts across his lips.

A fire is lit in his chest, one that he had assumed was gone for ages. It became an ember when he met you, and now it scorches as he holds you in his arms. He can’t find the words either, but he’s more of a man of action.

His face inches closer to yours and you take the cue and mimic him. When he sees this, he takes the plunge and closes the gap and gently, experimentally presses his lips onto yours.

With butterflies in your chest and a boost of confidence, you take advantage of the angle he has you in. Bring your arms up and wrap them around his neck to deepen the kiss.

His lips are as soft and pillowy as they look, a puff of air escapes his nose as he slowly molds his lips to yours. His aquiline nose pushes against yours, he feels like a puzzle piece made to connect to you. You can smell him, a mix of the smell of firewood, pine and a smell that's unique to him.

You feel one of his hands lift up to grip the back of your hold to himself steadily against you. It’s like he refuses to part and come up for air, continuing to take short breaths through his nose. But soon enough he’s forced to pull away, if ever so slightly.

It’s been too long since you’ve ever shared something so intimate with someone, and surely you’ll be addicted after this. Kissing Joel Miller is sensual and slow, right off the bat. You probably look drunk on his kiss but you don’t care, if your feelings weren’t obvious before they really were now.

“I, uh-I…” Joel stammers, blushed from the cold and being unused to speaking his feelings. You lean in and kiss him again, effectively shutting down his attempt to speak. When you part from him, you look into his eyes smiling as you exhale a breath.

His heart races in his chest and he doesn’t remember the last time it did this in response to something other than adrenaline or fear. He asks himself if you can read his mind when you place your hand over it. But really, you just wanted confirmation.

His smile in return is wide, showing his teeth and exhilarated as he does so. You don’t think you’ve ever seen him exude such happiness.

You cup the back of his head with both of your hands, gently nudging him towards you. You touch your forehead to his and close your eyes and he joins you.

“It’s ok Joel, I’ve got you.”

@nerdieforpedro @joeldjarin @orcasoul

Divider by @saradika-graphics

[strip4kaneshiro]

Cole Cassidy x Texan! reader domesticity headcanons

hiii it’s Kay again LOL. My first comeback piece and it’s Overwatch head canons LMAO. Felt some type of way about writing headcanons about real people so we’re moving on to fictional characters as the lord intended. As of rn, I’m fixated on Cassidy, Reaper, and Lifeweaver as my faves. So expect me to write about them TRUST

You and him defo live on a small ranch back in his home state of Texas together

this takes place in a universe where Overwatch is a lil more flexible with him than before, so don’t worry too much about the logistics ok???

Not close too his hometown though ( he’s still wanted there, rip), so you end up choosing a ranch set of land south enough to still be able to reach the coast if wanted. Cole was adamant about being able to take beach road trips

Let’s you do majority of the interior decorating, while he focuses on upkeeping the outdoors of your home

In the process of choosing yalls house and moving in, contrary to popular belief, Cassidy was the super picky one

I swear you had to change real estate agents twice because he wouldn’t stop nitpicking LMAO, but all for good reason, He just wants the best for his darling <3

He will NEVER wake you up earlier than 9 am for any reason unless it’s a doctors appointment or a road trip. Babes just wants to watch you sleep

“Cole! It’s 10:30! You weren’t gonna wake me up?!” You chastise, jumping out of bed and pulling stray hairs out your face

“Now why would I disturb your peace?” and he flashes that damn cowboy charming smile smh i hate him so bad

If your into skincare stuff, he simply watches you in amazement as you go through a multi step routine

Begins asking you to help him, not because he cares much about his skin, but he loves to see you yap about what you love

(Please free this man from the 14 in 1 in the shower)

Bro CANNOT keep his hands off of you for any reason and it makes everyone both envious and uncomfortable

If you’re in the kitchen, hands wrapped around your waist from the side. Doing laundry? He’s leaning on your shoulder and simply watching.

Depending on if Overwatch needs him, he will force them to give him a 14 hour notice so he can tell you. Cole never wants you to wake up confused and alone like how he did Ashe and Deadlock gang

Speaking of, expect to see the, very often in your house. They all just decided y’all’s house was the hangout spot like a bunch of high schoolers

He doesn’t appreciate how Ashe and you team up to tease him

Ended up getting two dogs and a cat with him.

The cat loves you but cannot stand being near Cole unless it’s bribed (male cat)

“Oh, did your wife give you those scratches Cass?” (Baptiste)

Cole begrudgingly acknowledges the scratches on his shoulders and back during a training session.

He forces you to trim his claws and get him a scratching post when he gets back home

If you drink coffee/tea/matcha, he leaves enough hot water in the coffee pot so you can make whatever you choose. Or if he knows, he just does it himself and leaves it for you warm cold (ik some of you r iced coffee fiends)

Cole takes you on shopping trips every couple of months because he loves to spoil you, he even carries all the bags without one single complaint! (He gets to flex his ranch muscles)

Don’t let it be a nice day over 70 degrees, this man will take any chance he gets to have as little clothing on as possible around you (Why he does this we don’t know)

Catch him in a tank top or no shirt at all doing yard work while you lay in a chaise , tanning or quietly reading.

He wouldn’t have it any other way though, he loves working hard for the ones he loves.

So as the day comes to the end, and you come outside with some iced tea for him, he wipes as much sweat as he can off of himself before leaning over and kidding the top of your head.

“I love you, darlin’.” He’ll mutter, before wrapping his toned arms around you and embracing you

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

Jooyeon XH smutty hcs pt.1

A/n: where to start with this man hmmm also don’t pay any mind to the pics they were done really fast

warningz/ info: obviously smutty lol, kissing, mentions of giving head, jooyeon oral fixation if you squint, this is written badly since it was in my drafts for so long, talk of marking up your partner, i think that’s it!

~this is simply a piece of fiction. My imagination onto “paper”. This is in no way is meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone~

THIS IS SMUT SO PLEASE MINORS DNI

•••••••••••••••••••

firstly, I think he’d be a bottom. Honestly try to change my mind on this one, nah you can't. well, at least most of the time a bottom. So yeah a sassy kinda bratty bottom lmao

like sure he'll have his moments but they're pretty much far in between.

Hes also a complete nibbler when he hugs. Like, mostly nibbles your neck or ear lobe. Which I guess isn't really nsfw in itself buttt still do with that what you will

number 1/2 out of this group that when ya'll are making out he’ll excuse himself to the bathroom like twice. And youre like ??? like yeah of corse you understand what hes doing that its just that after yall have already broken the ice in that area/ yall have made each other cum like a multitude of other times so needless to say its kinda confusing why hes taking care of himself when you're right there?? It’s just like how he was before yall two took that step. *sigh*

He's just pretty much always gonna be a shy little baby and probably won’t initiate much

hes a little worried that you don’t want— no, need him as much as he needs you. You’ll just have to show him

and probably takes a minute to understand how you practically start fucking dripping at the sight of the tent in his pants.

how you want noting more than to run your hands down the expanse of his back

how—how—how—

speaking of his back… you scratch it and he’ll be in heaven. Wants to wear them proudly. Or like hickies???? Yeah that too. It’s like he’s telling the world that he’s yours. And my god does he love that thought.

A "Anywhere, anytime." Kinda guy. You're horny while ya'll are drving somehwer? Cool, he'lll pull over. Y’all are in the bread isle in Walmart? Great, the bathroom it is!

( don’t worry he’ll make sure to line the seat and spray it with Lysol lmao)

Low key high key likes it when you order him around. Noting too drastic like “shut up bitch.” But something along the lines of “come here.” Or “faster.” Ya know what can I say? Mans likes to be informed

i cannot stress this enough. He. Loves. Digging. His. Nails. And. Fingers. Into. Your. Hips. Not really to the point of leaving bruises but definitely to the point of leaving red marks/ crescent moon shaped indents. Kinda like you leaving marks on him. Like to look in the mirror at them and admire them. Or simply the next time yall are fucking he likes to see them to himself (if that makes sense) it serves as a little reminder of how close the two of yall are

has a thing for being close to you. Intimate or romantic. Whatever

liiikkkkeeee

the type of person to pull you to him 24/7 in general when y’all are having sex and or pull himself to your lips when he’s giving you head

1/2 of the: probably sometimes gets to the point where you can barely get any “work done” and you jokingly complain about it.

what can I say the man likes his kisses

Ya know how he’s a picky eater… well lemme just say in some ahem other regards he’s not lmao

like you cannot change my mind that Jooyeon isnt practically pussy drunk.

Ya know what scratch that he is pussy drunk

rip most of your free time cause once you let him get a taste he don’t wanna stop

legit probably always askin you if he can taste you. (“I swear it’ll be fast, baby. Just a couple licks”)

mans is bargaining lol/j

anyhow I can basically talk about this forever if I don’t stop now lol

~End~

©️2024copywrightforshutupheathersorryheatherr do not copy or translate my works even with credit to me

a/n: hope your liked it! Like I said this fic has been in my drafts since forever! So after making some edits I decided to post it for the fist fic of the new year! If you liked it, please leave some love like comments and or reblogs!

Taglist: @itz-yerin

[nightswithkookmin]

Everyone else: “he said he didn’t have a girlfriend” Me: but he didn’t say he didn’t have a boyfriend

It really is interesting seeing everyone's reaction, when there shouldn't be one. Someone planting fake stories or whatever they are as a way to villanize him, and yet, nothing he has allegedly done is even considered bad.

People shame sex positivity and thus why we still have people who call women slvts/tramps simply for fulfilling very human needs.

Now I'm not saying that thats what JK is doing, but, in terms of something bad, trying to shame someone or expose them for back hugging someone and then immediately jumping straight into "they're fucking" is quite the reach lol.

Not long ago I made a post saying these people can't tell when a man is queer. I told them they are the same ones who would end up dating married men cos the keep missing the signs.

Did I not say over and over that Jikook were the only ones in that group that weren't groaning and moaning over not being coupled up while Tae was exhibiting signs of depression and loneliness?

I used to drag Tuktukkers for missing the sign T was depressed and lonely as fuck and would call them out for Shipping a man who wanted nothing more than deeper intimacy and connection and begged for hybe to get him a girlfriend or boyfriend cos dude was going through it and it showed.

But one look at Jikook and it's like they didn't even know ow what loneliness was. Lowkey made them appear tone deaf around Tae acting like he was clingy and too needy sommin. But at least JM tried for him.

I remember T talking about going through something and Jk jx blurted out, well if you need someone to talk to feel free to reach out to the members. I was like SIRRRRRŔ. HE'S YOUR COMMONALITY YOUS SUPPOSED TO SAY COME TO ME NOT GO TO THEM.

You know, little things like this. Oh notice how in his live he says Tae called him and asked to come over to record at his place and he was like boy why so sudden????

Then Jm didn't even remember letting Tae sleep over when dude said he was having a night mare at night.

They jx couldn't relate 🤧

Bless their hearts they can be so wrapped up in their own world sometimes.

So for me, I couldn't believe Tuktukk was real for the same reason I don't believe Jk or JM is seeing any body else.

For JK this is the second time he has publicly and openingly renounced a girl. Fling or not, one night stand or not, YOU MEAN NOTHING TO HIM. NOTHING.

And this goes to all mijoo believers as well

NOTHING. YALL MEAN ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

And please he said HE DIDN'T NEED ONE.

SEXUAL INTIMACY- EVERYONE NEEDS IT.

IF HE'S NOT GETTING IT FROM NO GIRL THEN HE'S DEFINITELY GETTING IT FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE COS HE'S NOT A VIRGINIA 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

NAUGHTY NAUGHTY BOY

Daddy getting hot at the jibooty shop

Doing something unholy

[til-f]

PJO Show Thoughts. Episode 7: We find out the truth (not)

Alright. I just don't even know. I thought the pacing was marginally better here. Scenes flowed nicer. And I thought the dialogue wasn't so useless.

Yay!!!! Crusty scene!!!!!!

Literally right off the fucking BAT, the first words in the episode are percy explaining exactly what's going to happen, who crusty is, no shenanigans, no mystery, no fun villain scene, nothing. oh my FUCKING GOD, it's every good scene THEY RUIN IT its CRAZY. ACTUALLY CRAZY.

It's the same shit every episode. Oh, fun monster scene where the monster tries to trick them and the fight builds while we figure out who the monster is???? NOPE!!! it's actually complete bullshit. it's ridiculous. where's rick????

Okay I see the red ball. yay!

I'll live with the plot changes even though it sucks. I'll live with it. it's just bad show writing that i'm annoyed with now.

OH MY GOD WHY IS SALLY SUCH A BITCH !!! lolollollL

I did miss the scene were percy bribes charon to let them pass. why change that. why take out a fun bit like that. instead they're like, take everything charon!!! we're so stupid, just let us into the underworld so I can save my mom !!!!!

The cerberus scene was way more complicated than it needed to be lol. but I think the underworld was cool

Back to 3 pearls.... I think rick is just trying to annoy us now.

I do like the flashbacks. My dumbass is just hoping that it all transitions very beautifully into percy's fallen hero arc but these are just my dumb dreams !!!!!!

So annabeth is gone? okay

The root/regret/ thing was completely unnecessary psychology that was stupid

The tartarus, shoe bit was good

"is this our stop, or?" LOL

Hades is weird and awkward and way to cheerful. this god is supposed to be a scorned, jaded ass, lazy, arrogant, bastard, dripping with grease and jealousy and grudges.

DID YALL SEE WHERE HADES WAS LIKE, FOLDING LAUNDRY??? LMAO WHAT

Hades sucks

I just wanted the line, "I'll find your helm, Uncle. I'll return it." nope!!

I guess hades is offering to protect them? because there's going to be a war with kronos and he wants the master bolt for protection ?????? SLOW YOUR ROLL WRITERS. WE'RE NOT FUCKING THERE YET. EVEN WHEN THE WAR WAS A C T I V E L Y occuring hades didn't give a FUCK. whatever. now i'm anger. plus, nothing about how hades sent the furies.... it didn't seem like hades thought percy stole his helm, which was like,,,,, teh whole ass point. jesus christ

Poseidon is meh

Sally is meh

I guess their convo was fine, i didn't mind it. I liked when poseidon was saying that he'll be there for percy, when he knows who he is. Which is cool, even though who percy should "be" is very different to sally. I can't wrap my brain around what the writers want me to be thinking, you know?

no mention again of how they're past the solstice deadline??? you'd think that would have been a bigger deal but OKAY

ares is the best god by far at this point

overall, I really shouldn't be spending so much of my limited free time writing these long posts about the episodes, when I have been getting well, not a whole lot of pleasure watching them. but these characters are still my babies, and I will continue to support the making of the show even though it's blowing chunks. Rick

See yall next week for episode 8: Where's the Damn Fishing Chair Throne

[scarefox]

This is a whole ramble but there is a theme in there (for fun and giggles)

I sometimes have to think about the whole "petplay" / master-servant game Gun has going on with some of the GMM guys (Tay and Joss, officially but he probably has some of the others joined too). It's just so damn wild and funny. And everyone is pretending like that's just the most normal thing besties do. I mean sure why not but also 😏 Just them taking turns in being the others obedient cute pet-servant for one day, while he calling him "his pet" and treats him like a pet (and that outside of cameras and fanservice stuff, they do that in their private time mainly. just dragging it out in the open occasionally). I love that for them 👌

OG Fun Night S1Ep3

-

-

-

... hmmm 😏

yea that's more likely

-

THE WHOLE ENTIRETY OF FUN NIGHT S2EP7 is just damn wild where they compete to be Guns number 1 pet, winning a freaking collar of all things! While talking about the drama "3 Will Be Free" (which is literally a canon polyamory drama with Tay, Joss and Mild)

-

-

also that TayGun date special

But Off is always like "You guys have fun but leave me out of that nonsense" 🙅‍♂️ whenever Gun asks him to join the pet poly circle....

BUT isn't he basically Guns first "pet" before Tay even?! Guns nickname for him is literally Papii... which I first thought means "dad" (or daddy if you will 😏) but someone once educated me that it means "puppy". Because of their first drama together "Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey".

So what I am trying to say here is: Off you lost that fight already years ago!! You have been Guns doggo all along!! lol

(but that's fine, he just doesn't want to mingle with the others 😌)

It's tragic, there once was a compilation of all the Tay and Gun pet moments (+ trust falls) with parts of an interview where Tay explains his side. And the MC was shook like "And you just let him treat you like a pet??" and Tay all shy and giggly "Yea, it's just a thing between us. I don't even know why. I went with it" 🤷‍♂️ And that he thinks that Gun is the most powerful guy in whole GMM. (A+ video.. why did they take that from us)

Yall don't understand how neat the whole OffGunTay(New) and Gun swinger / poly dynamic is. Alone for the fact that they don't care for the strict exclusive ship rule where they can only be touchy with their on-screen partner. But Gun is touchy and playful with every GMM guy and that's fine and neat af (even tho they all mainly stay in their official ship constellation as well). Meanwhile there are still so many couple themed ship war fanvideos from fans out there about which couple would be most likely real and which one will sink: OffGun or TayGun 🙄 Like bruh, everyone is Guns pet or cuddle buddy, what are yall not getting? OffGunTay(New + others) love and cherish each other (in whatever way that is does not matter). And Tay AND Off and even New encouraging Gun getting cuddly and kissed by other guys. Off and Tay are literally that "You are doing great sweety" meme when Gun has fun with others. Off being jealous is literally just a playful running gag.

I swear most BL fans are way too innocent and stuck with the oldschool relationship style for this awesome GMM (friend)ship dynamic they are playing with here...

Like look at this pile of TayGunNew while Off takes a photo

I don't know why this post turned from the petgame thing to OffGunTay & GMM polycule but it's basically the same ven diagram. Just everyone gets kisses, flirts and cuddles. As they should.

But it does not have to be the one ship over the other. Each of them literally has two hands 😌

holding hand throuple style 😌

Thanks for coming to my TED talk

Anyways.... A poly drama with them when?? Didn't P'Jojo say he wants to do a drama with Gun but doesn't know what theme? (P'Jojo who did "3 Will Be Free" with Joss and Tay already). Here! This? ✨

EDIT: I had to ad this

[ageofhearingloss]

Pick Yourself Up Pt. 2 | Jake Kiszka

a/n: y'all got homework! mandatory listening assignment to accompany this part:

this is a major plot point in this part of the story😎 y/n makes an appearance, but i really want this story to be about jakey so this is not my normal writing from y/n's pov. i'm really happy with how it turned out, and even more excited for where this story is headed!!!! as always, let me know what yall think xoxoxoxo

here's pt. 1

summary: after years of trying to make his dream of being a musician a reality, jake continues to fall short. on the brink of giving up, can his passion alone keep him afloat, or will he need help from others?

pairing: jake kiszka x fem reader

warnings: language, angst (although this part is much happier than the last) , alcohol consumption, light themes of depression and possible eating disorder

word count: 6.9k lol

“Ma, for the millionth time, I’m okay. Really,” Jake assured, phone held between his ear and his shoulder as he struggled to set a couple dirty plates in the sink, “I don’t know why that asshole called you.”

“Josh called me because he’s worried about you, honey, and so am I. You promised me you’d call me every week and I haven’t heard from you in a month.”

He let out a deep sigh; Josh only ever got Karen involved when he deemed the situation drastic enough. It was true, though. He hadn’t reached out to his mother for a while now and that alone was cause for her to worry. It’s not that he didn’t want to talk to her, but it was the same reason that he couldn’t face his brothers: he didn’t want for her to see the truth of how he was living. Sure, he was close with Karen, but he never had the relationship that Josh had with her and because of that, it was easier for him to hide from her. 

“Look, I’m sorry, I’ve just been… busy-”

“With gigs?” she questioned innocently, “How are they going?”

Jake didn’t see the use in hiding the truth from her further but he paused, thinking about the correct way to imply how he was doing without saying it outright. 

“Jakey?”

“Uh, they’re not going so hot, Mom, if I’m being honest,” he said as he straightened up over the sink, bringing a free hand to the back of his neck, letting a shaky breath escape from his lips. “Just kind of same old, same old.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey. How so?”

“No one is biting, I guess. I play the same gigs nearly every week in hopes that the consistency will land me in front of the right eyes and ears, but nothing’s happening,” Jake explained, closing his eyes before continuing, “Barely making any money these days, either. It’s been a real drag. I’m feeling a bit hopeless.”

Shit, that part wasn’t supposed to come out. 

His mother was silent on the other line, surely waiting for him to continue. He was half expecting her to begin down the road that she always went down; how he was the most talented kid she’s ever heard, how he just needs to continue to be patient, but it never came. He listened to her breathing before he finally asked, “Mom?”

He was then met with sniffles from the other line. Fuck, is she crying? 

“Ma, hello?”

“My baby, I didn’t know you were struggling like this,” Karen began, voice wobbly as she spoke. “This has been your dream since you could walk, I assumed that since I hadn’t heard from you that meant it was finally coming true.” 

Damn.

“I know Josh probably told you to keep going and be patient. He’s always been right when it comes to giving you advice. Whatever he said, I’m sure I agree,” she continued. “What do you need, Jakey? Should I come down to see you? Do you have groceries? I can-”

He laughed before cutting her off, “No, Mom, really I’m okay. I swear. Plus, I’ll be home soon enough for Dad’s birthday.”

“Are you sure, baby? Josh mentioned to me that you’re looking a little…” she hesitated before finishing her thought. “I’m going to send you some food whether you like it or not.”

That bastard really sees through everything, doesn’t he? 

Jake knew that he had been disregarding his health recently, but his mind was elsewhere. And he absolutely hadn’t realized that it had gotten so bad that his physical appearance had shifted, but of course his twin was able to detect any subtle changes before Jake saw them himself. Trying to scrounge up the money for monthly expenses had become increasingly difficult; he couldn’t remember the last time he had been to the grocery store. 

Before he could respond, his phone began beeping signifying he was getting another call. 

Sam. 

“Hang on, Mom, Sam’s calling me. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love you.”

“Alright honey, call me when you can. Watch your front door for groceries! I love you!”

After briskly disconnecting the call, he answered Sam with a meek, “Hello?”

“Can’t believe you actually picked up. That’s the first time in weeks!” Sam laughed out, his cheery, sarcastic tone palpable through the phone. 

“Sorry man, I’m trying to get better at that. What’s up?”

“Well, Josh clued me in that he had given you some instructions and knowing that you don’t have a gig tonight, I believe you are contractually obligated to go out with me and Daniel. Josh will be joining us at some point, too.”

Jake took a sharp inhale through his nose. Truthfully, he was nervous to begin socializing with his brothers again. He had grown accustomed to being by his lonesome; he didn’t particularly enjoy it and was lonely most of the time, but at least he could be his authentic self and process his emotions freely without the eyes of others watching him. He racked his brain for a sufficient way to decline his little brother's offer, an excuse that would seem legitimate enough for Sam to believe. 

“Sam, I-”

“Remember, you can’t say no!” Sam yelled through the phone, partnered with a poor attempt at a maniacal laugh. 

Jake closed his eyes once more, bringing his fingers to pinch the bridge of his nose. He knew he would never hear the end of it from any of his brothers if he declined yet another invitation.

“All right, asshole, I’m in.”

Jake could hear Sam hollering on the other line, seemingly pulling the phone away to tell who he assumed to be Daniel, “The fucker said yes! Can you believe it!” Then, speaking directly into the phone,

“Meet us at Robert’s at 8pm, and don’t be late! Oh, and bring your guitar!”

The phone disconnected with a swift click, leaving Jake to wonder just what trouble his brothers had in store for him tonight. I think Robert’s is that place I’ve been trying to play at for months now…

He looked around his apartment and thought to himself, “Man, this place is disgusting. You really let yourself go.” He continued collecting dirty dishes from all corners of his home, placing them in the sink before cranking the faucet and filling the basin with warm, soapy water. It’d only been a couple days since his talk with Josh, and he found himself surprised that his brother's words had affected him as much as they had. There was hope in his heart, even if it was just a small glimmer, but he felt compelled to begin trying again. To make an effort to show up for his brothers, but also for himself. 

A couple hours later, the dishes had been dried and put away, garbage collected and taken down to the dumpster behind the building. He even took the time to wipe down his counters and finally change the lightbulbs in the hanging lamp that illuminated his kitchen. To keep him company while he worked, he put on his favorite records, something that again he hadn’t done in what felt like months. He let the familiar songs soothe him, his mind lulled into a comfortable rhythm. Humming along as he worked, he began to realize that he felt the most at ease he’s felt in ages; his head was free from the heavy thoughts that have been clouding his brain for the better part of a year, the tension in his shoulders beginning to feel a little less tight. Sure, he still felt the gravity of his situation, but having the motivation to clean himself up a bit was a new, welcome change. All thanks to Josh, that fucker. 

Cleaning out the fridge, he was startled by the sound of his doorbell buzzing. Throwing on the pair of beat up Birkenstocks, he made his way through the door and ran down the stairs to be met with a grocery delivery. He picked up the large cardboard box, hauling it upstairs and setting it on the kitchen counter. He noticed a note from Karen lay on the top as he opened the box:

Take care of yourself, sweetie. Can’t wait to see you soon. 

Love, Mom

He smiled to himself, carefully placing the note next to the box before digging through it, noticing how she sent him all his favorite foods. He put the groceries away swiftly, and as he closed the door to the fridge he caught sight of the clock on the stove, 7:46pm.

“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath before running to his room to throw more presentable clothes on, grabbing his guitar case on his way out the door. Sam had told him not to be late. 

~~~~~~

Y/N POV

“Yeah, yeah, Caitlyn, 7:45 sharp. I got it,” you said as your phone was snug between your cheek and your shoulder, bringing your bags and equipment down to your car. It was nearing 6pm; you and your bandmates had a local gig tonight at a bar that you frequented. 

“Just please don’t be late like last time! This gig is actually really important, and we’ve only got 15 minutes to get set up,” your drummer explained, concern and anticipation evident in her tone. 

“I’m sorry I was late last time, Cait, I promise I won’t be again!” You slammed the trunk of your car shut with your free hand, “You know I’m not usually like that.” She knows I was having car trouble… 

“I know, tonight is just nerve wracking. I’m kinda freaking out. The whole open mic thing… who knows who’s gonna be there.”

“I can tell! But it’s gonna be fine. I’m heading to Jen's now to make some last minute tweaks to her solo. I’ll see you soon!”

You said goodbye to your friend before shoving your phone back in your pocket. Not too long ago, you and your childhood friends had set out to Nashville to live out your dream of making it as musicians. You had all been playing together for longer than you could remember, the band falling into your lap without any real amount of effort. Caitlyn, your neighbor growing up, was a force to be reckoned with on drums, Jen, your best friend since kindergarten, on guitar, and your cousin, Tyler, holding it down on the bass. You had been chosen as the lead vocalist before you truly knew how to sing, but once falling into the role, you took your job incredibly seriously, taking as many voice lessons as you physically could to solidify your now resonant and skilled voice. 

The four of you hit the ground running once getting to Tennessee, and somehow luck had been on your side, managing to play for the right group of people and now you had your first EP out, working to get your debut album out after having signed with a label. You were confident in your abilities and even more confident in your sound, having pushed many other priorities aside to focus on this career that you had set in motion with your friends. 

After climbing in the driver's seat and twisting the ignition, you blasted the AC in your car. Who knew how long it would take for you to get used to the southern heat. It was only a short drive to Jens, something the two of you made sure of when you were looking at apartments, and as you drove you began humming possible riffs for her to try out on the new song you’d be debuting tonight. 

She ushered you inside her place quickly upon your arrival, clearly anxious about your performance tonight. 

“Cait is totally getting to me. I wasn’t nervous at all until she called me a couple minutes ago,” she fussed, leading you into her makeshift home studio and slinging her guitar strap over her head, walking over to the amp and plugging in. 

You chuckled, digging your own acoustic out of its case, “I really think it’s going to be great! We’ve been rehearsing day in and day out, and we’ve played this bar before so at least that bit isn’t new.”

“I think she’s nervous because they asked her to be the drummer for the open mic that’s happening after our set. They’re paying her good money so she didn’t turn it down, but you know how she is.”

Oh shit, I didn’t know that part. 

“Did they ask you or Tyler to stick around, too?” You realized that tonight may be a bigger deal than you had originally thought. 

“Nah, it sounded like they already had a guitarist, and I think they have someone on both electric and upright bass. We’re going to stick around for Cait’s sake, but who knows, we might hear some good shit tonight,” she said, pulling her hair out from under the guitar strap and throwing it over her shoulder, “Now, show me what you’ve been thinking about.”

You beamed at her, situating your guitar on your knee before strumming out the ideas you had come up with.

End of y/n POV

~~~~~~

“An open mic?” Jake spat out at Sam, grasping his brother's forearm tightly. “You shithead, why did you bring me to this place?”

Sam was howling with laughter as he yanked out of Jake’s grip, leading him to the table where Danny and Josh sat, somehow already inebriated, whooping and hollering once Jake was in their line of sight. Jake reluctantly plopped down in a chair beside his twin, facing the tiny stage in the corner of the bar that was illuminated by soft overhead floodlights. Nonchalantly swirling his whiskey in its highball glass, he glanced around the bar. So this is Robert’s… 

It looked like any other dive bar, but a little tidier. The walls were painted a dark crimson with neon beer signs and vintage pinup posters consuming every inch of space. The booths were made of brown, worn leather, the floors a warm hardwood. He took inventory of the instruments already set up on stage, and noticed the upright bass snug in the corner. Maybe this wouldn’t be a waste of his time after all. 

Josh nudging his shoulder caught his attention.

“I’m really glad you're here, it means a lot,” Josh slurred, just above a whisper that only Jake could hear. 

A slight grin graced his lips as he shrugged before Josh continued, “Did you talk to Mom?”

“Yeah, I talked to her,” Jake replied, jabbing his elbow into his brother's ribs, “thanks for ratting me out. She was all worried and shit. Even sent me groceries.”

Josh shook his head, a cheesy smile plastered to his face accompanied by a pink flush of his cheeks, surely due to the alcohol in his system, “Sorry, man, but you looked like crap! I had to tell her!”

Jake couldn’t help but match his brother's smile; he was beginning to feel true gratitude for all three of them. He was realizing exactly how much they cared for him, willing to carry his burden on their shoulders in any way they knew how. He glanced over to Danny and Sam where they were having their own conversation, and he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell, an emotion that was only supplied when he was spending time with his brothers. 

Danny caught his eyes for a split second and offered him a tight smile; Jake hadn’t apologized to him yet. 

Tonight, if I can find time alone with him. I need to do better. He knew he potentially hurt Danny more than any of his other brothers, and there was still a piece of him too swollen with pride to completely let himself admit just how badly he had fucked up. Before he let himself get too much in his head, something that Josh consistently warned him about, he cleared his throat to gain the attention of the group. 

“Alright, Sammy boy, wanna tell us why we’re here? And why I needed my guitar?” He accompanied the question with a raised eyebrow, inclining his glass towards Sam. 

“Well, brother, if you would be patient for just a couple minutes, we’re here to see a band and they should be starting any second now,” Sam replied, clasping his hands together. “The lead singer is a waitress at my restaurant. She told everyone their band had a gig here tonight,” he explained, taking a second to glance around the bar, searching the crowd, “but it looks like I’m the only asshole who bothered to show up!”

“I’ve heard them play before, they’re pretty good! And her voice is unbelievable,” Daniel chimed in, eyes piercing Jake’s as he added, “I think you’re really gonna like her.”

Don’t tell me these assholes are trying to set me up. 

“Okay, but that doesn’t explain why-” 

Jake was cut off by the lights in the bar dimming, turning his attention again to the small stage to watch three musicians climb the few steps up to the platform. A tall brunette took her place behind the drumset, muscular arms and stoic features that seemed to be evident in every drummer he’s encountered. He observed the spritely woman with flowing hair plugging her cobalt guitar into the amp, throwing her wavy locks over her shoulder in the process, and a towering, lanky man who stood impossibly still as he clutched his bass guitar, a mysterious air around him, his eyes hidden behind dark aviator sunglasses. Each one different, surely bringing their own unique voices to the collective whole, but Jake could already tell that their chemistry would likely be unmatched. 

The three musicians checked their sound, the guitarists making sure their strings were in tune, before the lead vocalist made it onto the stage. And as Jake watched her ascend the steps, lights glistening off of her hair and bouncing off her features, his breath was stolen out of his chest. 

She took center stage, if he could even call it that with how confined the space was, and he watched with rapt attention as she adjusted the stand to her height and spoke a hushed “Check, check,” into the microphone. Her voice was low, sultry, alluring, and everything clicked into place as to why his brothers had brought him here tonight. His eyes were glued to the stage, however, oblivious to the three men observing him, smiles plastered wide across their faces upon realizing that they had been successful in their plan. 

She then turned around and spoke something to the rest of the band, all of them nodding and smiling in agreement before a light shuffle began sounding from the drumkit. They all fell into an easy groove, their sound a tempting soulful rock that only few could pull off these days, in Jake’s opinion. He couldn’t take his eyes off the singer as she turned back to the mic, her eyes closed and head softly lilting along rhythmically, an easy, almost lazy smile dancing across her face. 

Jake brought his glass up to his mouth as he leaned back in his chair, settling in for what he knew was about to be a fantastic set, but paused his actions as she stepped closer to the mic, drawing a breath as her eyes opened and the first note slipped past her lips. 

He was sure he looked ridiculous, glass held halfway between the table and his lips, eyes blown wide and mouth slightly agape, but he couldn’t find it within himself to care. He was entranced by her voice; his personal siren calling only to him, hypnotizing him. He watched as she effortlessly swayed, interacting with the other musicians she shared the stage with. She was completely in her element, no sense of anxiety or nervousness written in her complexion or any of her bandmates. She acknowledged the audience only a few times, graciously accepting their applause and smiling at Sam when he waved excitedly at her, only to flit her eyes around the rest of the table, pausing when she finally landed on Jake.

His breath caught again and he could hear his pulse pounding in his ears. For a fleeting moment, they were the only two in the dimly lit bar. 

All he could do was stare, and she held his eyes for longer than what would be deemed comfortable, but it seemed as though she couldn’t bring her eyes away from his, either. Only when she heard a familiar cue did she drop his heated gaze, returning to her revelry-like state as the band began another song. 

Jake caught himself blinking a few times in an effort to try to bring himself back to reality. He glanced briefly at his brothers sitting with him and cursed under his breath when he noticed all three of them already looking his way, knowing smiles evident on each of their lips. He was still clueless to the fact that they had been observing him all night long, not noticing Sam when he leaned over to whisper to Daniel or Josh, “I told you so!”

The set was about 45 minutes long, giving 15 minutes until the open mic started. An older man hopped onto the stage once the band was done, saying that there were still plenty of spots available and that the sign-up sheet was taped over on the bar. The four brothers were still huddled around the table when Sam popped up quickly to announce he was going to get them all another round, which none of them objected to, before hurrying over to the bar.

It was hard for Jake to turn off the voice in his head that was begging and pleading him to go back to the safety of his home, but he had to admit that listening to her sing had been well worth his time. And although he groaned at the thought of listening to whatever “nonsense” was going to be played at the open mic, there was no way he would turn down the opportunity to have the chance to talk to her once her and the rest of her band finished packing up their instruments. 

9 o’clock rolled around, fresh drinks arriving on the table as the brothers talked amongst themselves; it had been far too long since Jake had caught up with them. He learned about the upcoming movie Josh would be working on in the next couple months, always excited to hear his twin talk about something he was so passionate about. The first couple of acts had played their songs, none of them horrible but none of them garnering any of their attention, all too engrossed in each other's company.

Jake was right in the middle of hearing about the most recent tournament Daniel had been involved in when he heard his name being called.

“Jacob Kiszka and Y/f/n Y/l/n, come on down!”

What the fuck?

He panicked as he looked between his brothers, darting his eyes between them until he landed on the culprit, Sam. Of course it was Sam; his little brother was known for getting them into all types of trouble, saying that it was always easier to ask for forgiveness rather than permission. “Plus,” he would always say, “you guys have to admit that was pretty fun.”

Sam was already beaming, not faltering when Jake gritted at him through his teeth, 

“You motherfucker, what did you do?”

All Sam did was shrug and gesture towards Jake’s guitar case, not intimidated in the slightest by Jake’s blinding rage. 

I can’t play with her, let alone begin to think about what we could play together- His mind was running a mile a minute as he glanced between his guitar and Sam, cursing his brother to the high heavens.

Finally, Josh clapped his twin on the back and whispered, “Don’t you know it’s rude to keep a lady waiting?”

He finally looked to the stage where she already stood, a sheepish smile evident across her mouth as she waited for him to make up his mind.

How did she know it was me?

He then looked around the bar, noticing many eyes on him and a hush falling upon the crowd in preparation. 

Oh, idiot, she recognized your last name. She works with Sam.

Turning back to the stage, he saw that the drummer was seated behind her kit, and there was an older man picking up his upright bass that had been gently laying on its side, plucking the strings and tuning it ever so slightly. 

Jake squeezed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh before opening them, bending over to grab his guitar case as he stood from his chair. Delighted applause erupted from the patrons of the bar, making him wince, and before he made his way over to the stage, he made it a point to menacingly tower over Sam who was still seated, grabbing the collar of his shirt and whispering a curt “We will talk about this later.”

He let go of Sam’s shirt with a little force, his brother laughing at him and cheering him on, knowing Jake’s threat was completely empty. 

Jake had to take a few calming breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth, just like Josh taught him. He stalked towards the small stage, knuckles surely white from how tightly he was gripping the handle of his guitar case. He was all too aware of the eyes on him; he was used to performing and others watching him do so, but he always performed solo and on his terms. This was new territory for him, and it had his nerves blazing. 

Her eyes followed him as he climbed the couple of steps, and he met her gaze and gave her a shy smile as he passed behind her to the unoccupied side of the stage. He made quick work of unpacking, silently thanking his lucky stars that something had told him to bring his acoustic rather than electric. He plugged it into the amp that was sitting behind him, and continued to crouch with his back to the audience as he tuned his guitar quietly. Fortunately, those sitting out in the bar had begun to talk amongst themselves, effectively helping his nerves settle ever so slightly. 

As he stood, he looked to the other musicians, nodding to the drummer as she sent him a sweet smile, and the bassist who gave him a jovial thumbs up. He could feel the corners of his mouth turn upwards as he finally faced her. 

She was standing in front of the mic, neck turned to watch him make his way to the front of the stage, a grin still on her face but accompanied with an expectant, raised eyebrow.

Oh shit, that’s right. What are we going to play?

He paused once he reached the front of the stage, taking a moment to look between the musicians again, racking his brain as to what would fit their instrumentation best but better yet, what would do her voice justice. 

A smirk found his lips as he settled on a suggestion, feeling much more confident now that he had an idea. Jake found his feet taking him to her without a second thought, closing the short space that distanced them. She turned her body towards him, welcoming him with a warm smile, eager to hear what he was going to offer.

Only once he was truly in her presence did his nerves take the reins again. Her beauty was evident when he observed her from the crowd, but seeing her this up close was something else. His heart hammered in his chest once more as he realized that he got to hear her sing again, and better yet, got to hear her voice sing along with him. He let go of the neck of his guitar, the strap snug across his back, and wiped his clammy hands against his faded jeans in a gesture that could only suggest how anxious he truly was. 

Say something, damnit.

“Hi,” his voice cracked. 

Shoot me now. 

“Hey,” she chuckled out, thankfully not noting his aura of insecurity. She glanced to take a look at his guitar, his hands still resting on his thighs, and then brought her eyes to meet him again. He shifted his weight between his feet; why did she make him feel like a hormone-ridden teenager talking to a girl for the first time? His lips parted to speak again but was interrupted by her bringing her face closer to his, leaning to whisper in his ear,

“Seems like you have a song in mind.”

She retracted her head to stand upright before the mic stand once again, an expectant, but patient, look upon her face. 

Jake cleared his throat before leaning in to softly say, 

“Yeah, you know Lilac Wine?”

Her face flushed and she beamed an earth-stopping smile as she whispered back,

“Jeff Buckley or Nina Simone?”

“Can you play piano?”

She smirked and shook her head, “Not like Nina.”

He chuckled softly, “Me neither.” 

“Jeff Buckely it is, then.”

He backed away from her, inclining his head in confirmation, before making his way back to the drummer, asking her if the song was to her liking and she nodded excitedly, switching her drumsticks out for a pair of brushes. 

Y/n had gone over to the bassist, and he watched as the bassist put his hand on his chest, hopefully a sign of how much he loved the song. Jake looked between all the musicians, making his way back to his spot on the stage, saying loud enough just for the bassist to hear, “G Major.” The bassist winked, leaning his bass against his hip.

Jake watched as she made her way back to the front, only after exchanging a quick glance to her friend at the drums, the bassist, and then directing her stare to him. She gave him a slow nod, indicating that she was ready and waiting for Jake to begin. 

He fixed his attention back front, and took a deep breath as the crowd hushed, watching with bated breath for the music to begin. 

Jake inhaled deeply, exhaling as he strummed the one, solitary chord. And then he heard her voice.

“I lost myself on a cool, damp night,”

Jake heard a few whistles of exclamation from the crowd which caused a slight smile to form on his lips as he played the next, slow chord,

“I gave myself in that misty light,”

He couldn’t help but shift his position to face her, only to realize that she already watched him, her head turned just enough so she could still sing into the microphone. 

“Was hypnotized by a strange delight,” she sang, a sultry smirk gracing her lips as the lyrics came out,

“Under a lilac tree.”

Jake watched her with rapt attention, knowing that it was his cues she was waiting for, and even though his heart was racing in his chest just by the fact that she was staring at him, he wouldn’t let that hinder his performance. 

His strumming picked up as she sang the next couple lines, her voice seeming to rumble through the speakers as she sang the line before the chorus, 

“Because, it brings me back you,”

Jake turned to the bassist and gave a cue, letting him know it was time for him to join even though he was sure he already knew that. The rhythm section set the perfect slow, sleepy tempo to paint the mood of the song, and Jake felt overjoyed to be in the company of such talented musicians. It had been a long time since he played with others, and he forgot how great it felt to collaborate. 

The four musicians were feeding off of each other's energy, the song going off without a hitch considering he didn’t know them at all. He locked eyes with his mystery girl, y/n, he remembered, for the majority of the song, her voice tugging at his heart strings and filling the air with nearly palpable warmth. He knew the song would sit perfectly in her register, but he couldn’t have imagined how beautiful it truly sounded coming from her lips. Her voice would stay with him for a long time; he had never heard a voice quite as unique as hers.

He had to play with her again. 

~~~~~~

The song finished all too quickly. Jake had completely forgotten about the audience he stood before, completely enthralled by her voice and the musicians he was playing alongside. Only until he heard Sam’s cheers cut through the applause was he brought back to the moment, focusing his gaze forward to the sea of clapping hands. 

For once, he didn’t have to fake the smile that graced his face. In fact, he didn’t have to think about it at all. Jake was beaming, graciously nodding to the patrons of the bar before his eyes landed on his brothers, clapping excitedly and more obnoxiously than anybody else. It was Josh he lingered on though, his twin giving him a smile that seemed to absolve every insecurity, every heavy weight plaguing him. Before Jake knew it, he was placing his hand over his heart, hoping to convey the immense gratitude he had for his brother, Josh mirroring the action not a moment later. 

Jake ripped his gaze away from his band of brothers and turned to the musicians he just played with, all of them eagerly meeting in the middle of the stage to congratulate each other on a job well done. The drummer, he learned, was named Caitlyn, and she gave him a celebratory firm whack on the back that made him chuckle. The bassist introduced himself as Max and instructed Jake to find him later so they could exchange information. “I can tell you’re a talented kid; it’s not very often I meet a guitarist who truly knows his guitar like the back of his hand,” Max had said, shaking Jake’s hand with a vice-like grip. 

Jake turned to Y/n to say something, anything, but as he opened his mouth he heard the next band called out over the mic, effectively ushering them off stage. Her eyes twinkled, though, and she grasped his shoulder as she inclined her head over to the bar, silently asking him to meet her there. He gave her a shallow nod, not able to keep himself from smiling at her. 

Jake scampered off stage, leaving Y/n to talk with her band as he went over to the table where his brothers sat, waiting for his return. Once Sam saw him approaching, he leapt up off his chair, bringing his brother into an excited embrace that Jake was not all too eager to reciprocate. 

“Oh come onnnnn, you can’t still be mad at me! We all saw you up there!” Sam laughed out, still clutching Jake’s shoulders. 

Jake rolled his eyes, once again not able to hide the smile that was on his face, “Watch me.”

Danny clapped for him from his seated position at the table, giving Jake the most genuine smile he’d received since his fight with him, saying “Brilliant, as always.” Jake shrugged it off, all too aware of the words that continued to be unspoken, but still feeling that this was not his opportunity to apologize. Finally, Josh stood from the table, placing a hand between Jake’s shoulder blades. 

“I think you found it, brother.”

Glancing into Josh’s eyes, he felt all of the words his twin didn’t need to say out loud. All he could do was nod. He agreed; even though he was mere accompaniment, it hadn’t felt that good to play his guitar in a very long time. The feeling of adrenaline, of pride in his abilities, had been lost for months, and he forgot just how addicting the feeling of his calloused fingers against the steel strings could be. Maybe his passion was starting to come back, and it sent a pang to his heart to know that Josh had somehow seen that from the 10 minutes he spent on the stage.

Jake glanced over to the bar, seeing Y/n casually chatting with the bartender. Josh followed his gaze, dropping his hand away from his brother's back and returned to his seat. Jake took a deep breath, trying to figure out what he was going to say, not registering that he was already making his way over to the bar. In the distance, he heard Sam yell, “Jakey! She likes gin!” but all he could do was give his little brother a dismissive wave of his hand from over his shoulder. 

He grinned to himself, logging away the bit of information. Don’t meet too many gin fans these days. 

“So, Jacob,” she said, swirling her straw around the glass of her gin and tonic. His name tumbling from her lips felt like a bolt of lightning through his system. 

His smile was bashful as he glanced down at his own drink, trying to keep his composure as he assured that she could call him ‘just Jake.’ Their conversation flowed effortlessly; he learned all about her band and the members within it, as well as how she could handle Sam as her boss. She asked him a multitude of questions, as well, but he couldn’t think about himself at the moment. Any chance he had to think about his own life sent his mind swirling in a downward spiral, so he would deflect the question back to her, genuinely interested in the words she had to say. He found out that she, too, was from the Midwest, both of them commiserating about the heat before he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

Jake turned around to see an older man, probably in his 50s, standing behind him, a knowing smile on his face that immediately put Jake at ease.

“Jacob, right? I’m Robert,” he held out his hand, Jake quickly taking it into a handshake, his eyes wide. 

Why the hell is the owner talking to me? 

“I heard you play, you have a really great sound. You a solo musician?”

Jake flickered his eyes between Robert, Y/n, and then over to the table where his brothers sat, before responding, “Yeah, I mostly do solo shows,” he beamed, "It’s really nice to meet you, Robert. I’ve heard so much about this place, it’s great.”

Robert laughed as he thanked Jake, the older man asking a few more questions about Jake’s situation as Y/n sat and listened, a lopsided smirk on her lips. 

“Well, Jacob, I’d love to have you regularly play at the bar. The crowd seemed to love your sound, as did I,” he said, pulling out a business card from his back pocket. “Please feel free to email me if you’re interested.”

Jake blinked a couple times before gently taking the card from Robert's hands. He heard about many great musicians passing through this bar; it was a family-owned place, ownership being passed down from generation to generation, helping artists get off the ground and into the spotlight. Jake met Robert’s eyes again, smiling from ear to ear as he shook the man's hand once more, thanking him and assuring him that he’d be hearing from Jake very soon. 

Once Robert walked away, Y/n chimed in, “He’s a really good guy, but doesn’t interact with a lot of people much. From what I know, he hardly invites anyone to play here. You should count yourself lucky.” She winked at him, a smile evident on her face before bringing her straw to her lips. 

“Your band plays here all the time, did Robert contact you guys?”

“Nope,” she shook her head, “he’s friends with Jen’s dad. Her dad called in a favor, got us our first gig here. Thankfully, everyone liked our music enough that we were invited back.”

Almost as if she were summoned, Jen called Y/n’s name from across the bar, beckoning her over and signifying that the band was heading out. 

Y/n turned back to Jake with an apologetic look, “Looks like it’s my time.”

Jake gave a soft smile, glancing at his watch and realizing that already an hour had gone by, the open mic long abandoned. He flickered his eyes back up to hers, “When can I hear you sing again?” 

He felt the air leave his lungs as he watched her blush at his words, but she regained her composure quickly before holding out her palm. She was so sure of herself, an air of confidence around her that he was envious of. If she had any insecurities, she would never let the world know. 

“Can I have your phone?”

“Sure,” he fumbled around for it in his pocket, “what for?”

Her smile only grew at his oblivious question, “So I can give you my number. Maybe you can call me and ask when our next gig is,” she wiggled an eyebrow as she added her number to his contacts. 

“There,” placing his phone back in his grasp, “don’t be a stranger.” In a gesture that was over before it began, she leaned in close and gave him a chaste peck on his cheek before sliding off her bar stool and making her way through the crowd.

He sat and watched her as she greeted her friends, completely dumbfounded. He’d lost track of how many times she had stolen his breath that night, and as he glanced down at his phone that lay waiting in his palm, he brought his other hand to faintly stroke where her lips had grazed his cheek. 

Jake’s heart faltered.

Lilac. 

To be continued....

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