#el hopper character analysis

[kissboybyler]

i’m re-watching s3 right now and guys- it’s been made so incredibly clear that El needs to be independent, to be with people of “her species” (i love how she threw mike’s words right back at him during the sauna episode, it was so fucking iconic), that she needs to find out who she is outside of her relationship with mike, outside of the rules enforced upon her by either hop, or the mother-fucking government itself. I love love love s3 el-wise, because it perfectly encapsulates the essence of her character-arc.

I also love how, in episode 2 i think? when Max tells el “there’s more to life than stupid boys”, she says it twice in the same damn episode; once during their talk in max’s room and then again at the mall, holding hands and running around like the care-free teenage girls they deserve to be. This line is so important, it’s even included in the flashback scenes in s4. Why make such a big deal out of it if it doesn’t serve a greater purpose in the long-run? Why spend an entire season emphasising how vital independence and individual volition is for a character, if you just end up throwing them back into the arms of someone who made them realise just how much she needs these things?

I’m no cinematographer, but i would like to consider myself a storyteller and good enough at picking up stuff in art and literature, so like- from a narrative standpoint-point, milkvan endgame just doesn’t make sense. Not for mike, not for will, not for el. They will all just end up miserable if that’s the case. Or even if the show is written in a way that makes it seem like everything is where it’s supposed to be, then the whole rest of the series just doesn’t fit. It just doesn’t.

[lune-moon-nuit]

Time to bring back this analysis for the women day cause seems some Milevens fans didn't get at all Eleven Character and arc in season 4

El "Jane" Hopper — Independence, Selflessness and Male Trauma, A Character Analysis

Hello again. As you may know, I typically post Byler analyses and I also posted that I was working on a Mike Wheeler post but along the way of rewatching and rewatching, it became clear to me that El is the character that truly needs to be understood here, not just in regards to everything I have said in my posts, but in regards to her entire place in the show and who she represents. She is such an important character and I'm so excited to analyze her!

**So to my Byler readers: READ THIS ONE! I know you may only be interested in anything that "proves" Byler but I promise you that reading this will give you a clearer understanding of how El is the central character in this love triangle and how she's the one who holds the power in it, not Mike or Will. It's very purposeful that they made Mike her love interest.**

But without further ado, El Hopper:

I think El is such an important character on the show because her arc represents the trauma a lot of women deal with at the hands of men. And I don't want to make this post about men, this is not my intention, I want to make that very very clear, but I think for many women world wide our lives are heavily impacted by how men treat us, intentionally or unintentionally. So I think it's so important this story was told and El is an amazing character to tell it through because she is the embodiment of being independent her entire life. Also, please note that I love all the women on the show and they contribute to this theme in all types of ways as well, but this post is simply about El!

Independence And Intelligence, The Basis of Her Character

From the very beginning we know El is extraordinarily independent and strong; this is something that can never be misinterpreted because physically she's capable of a lot more than most and what sets her apart from 95% of the rest of the women on the show. But she's also emotionally and intellectually strong as well; she not only is able to endure many years of captivity and brainwash, she's able to free herself from that captivity at the mere of age of 11? 12? She's not as naïve as the some would like you to believe; when the boys find her, they suggest telling their parents, which is obviously reasonable. But El knows better, even if she doesn't know "They're going to take me to CPS" she knows telling an adult will lead to her getting taken back to the bad men. She's keen. She also points Will out of the pictures, indicating she has a big heart and would be willing to help them find Will, even though she doesn't have to even clue them in on any of it. Obviously narratively it helps the story along but it also indicates that she's a good person with empathy; she's emotionally intelligent even though she has not been lent the same empathy in most of her life. Not only is she able to care for herself but she saves the characters each season; In season one, she kills the demogorgan, in season two she closes the gate, in season three she fights til she can no longer fight and in season four she banishes Vecna. This proves that El isn't just the most independent character in the series, she's also the most selfless, constantly pushing herself to her limits in order to save the rest.

People would also like you to believe that she was/is completely unaware of social cues and norms. Which yes, there is definitely a lot she didn't pick up on because of her environment, but she's not completely unaware. In the first season she looks at the picture of Nancy and calls her "pretty", meaning she's knows what girls typically look like in society and may or may not want to look that way too. When she steals eggos, she knows she has to use her powers to get away because she has no money and she looks like a lost child. In season three, she doesn't automatically believe what Mike says about nana - she goes to Max because she knows something is off, even without a lot of social interactions and examples. All of this shows that she's a very perceptive character and understands other people a lot more than you think she does when you first watch it. The fact that she can go and find people in her mind also represents that she's very perceptive to others even if the main story line would like you to think otherwise. She's also very smart and finds other creative ways to describe what she wants to say. Despite knowing nothing about DnD yet she's able to use the game pieces and board to convey where Will is. She has survival skills. At Benny's she gets out of there as quickly as she can. Before that, she only tells him as little as possible in order to get food. She understands what he's saying and could answer "yes" or "no" but didn't. Most children would if they had been lost in the woods and homeless. Furthermore, she survives in the woods for presumably at least a little while, while it's freezing out. She finds food and warmth. She doesn't need someone else to come and save her, even though Hopper does. Further along in S2 she goes off entirely on her own in the Lost Sister episodes and is confident that she can survive out there by herself; she knows to some degree how independent she is. In season three, when Jonathan is trying to remove the creature from her leg, she tells him to stop and does it herself - she is completely capable on her own and knows how to survive without anyone else and there are plenty of examples of it throughout the show.

So now we have established that El is the most independent character on the show. But what we haven't talked about is if El views herself that way - which she doesn't. Of course to some degree she knows she is because of her powers and is seen by the risks that she takes but she still has codependency issues because of Papa, which is what we will see her come out of in S5.

Male Trauma

El ends up having three main males in her life: Brenner, Hopper and Mike. Now at first glance they all seem like completely different characters, and they are, yet they hold similairities when it comes to El's life and expericences with them. Now hear me out because I know that may sound insane. Hopper and Brenner? Alike? Mike like either of them?

However, there are clear and distinct parallels between them. Hopper and Mike actually truly care for El and that's why it makes the dynamics difficult for not only El but also us; it's harder to see.

So we know Brenner keeps El locked up her entire childhood. He's not outwardly sadistic towards her majority of the time though. He has a gentle voice, he pretends he's helping her with her powers rather than reducing her to a lab experiment, he convinces her that he protects her, calls her daughter and refers to himself as her Papa, etc. We as an audience can see how sadistic his behavior is but El herself doesn't fully understand until years of abuse and even after she escapes she still struggles with it, because it's all she knows until the of 12. That's a long time to go in an atypical abusive environment. Because she doesn't fully understand him being a bad person she has conflicting feelings for him. Her relationship with Brenner sets the tone for all of her relationships with other men; confusing poor treatment with love, fearing they don't love her for her but for her powers, fearing they're scared of her for her powers, fearing they're not telling the truth, etc.

Hopper, on the other hand, clearly cares for her, and we as the audience know it. El knows it. We know he keeps her inside to protect her, and in the beginning El understands this too. Even as season two progresses she on some level understands it's for her protection. But at the same time she is still a child and has been locked inside a house for a year now. This clearly resembles her previous situation, at least to her. She's heard lies from Brenner before, contradictions; and now it feels like she's hearing them from Hopper too. That he's the one keeping her locked away this time. She knows it's obviously different but to her, to this child who's emotions are only just beginning to develop into her own, it's confusing and on top of that she doesn't want to be locked away anymore. She even compares Hopper directly to Papa, indicating she definitely does have a difficult time fully understanding the difference in their behavior. Another parallel that is formed between Brenner and Hopper is when Hopper says "I protect, I feed, I teach" which is essentially exactly what Brenner did/claimed to do and what El perceives Brenner's actions as. Furthermore, once the tensions get to a point and Hopper and El begin to fight, El begins using her powers to express her anger. Hopper exclaims "What the hell is wrong with you?!" which can parallel what we figure out Brenner says to her in S4; "What did you do?" indicating she used her powers for bad and it makes her a bad person. What other character also says this to her? Mike, after she's hit Angela, this time not even using her powers, just reinforcing to her headspace that she's a bad person, this time with or without powers. This line/theme that is said to El throughout the show also reinforces the fear that the people, specifically the males, in her life are afraid of her because of her powers. Not only that but Hopper, in their fight, exclaims he can send her back to the lab, indicating to her (remember, a child) that as soon as she becomes difficult, she's to be given up on. I love Hopper and he's only saying it in the heat of the moment but he's also talking to a child who interprets, internalizes and connects things differently than an adult does. It's similar to her relationship with Mike, especially in S4; once she has no powers, she feels as though she's recognized a distance in Mike (still not being able to say ily) and that he doesn't love her anymore. She's become too difficult or useless (no powers) so now she's to be given up on (Mike doesn't love her anymore.) This is also why she doesn't tell him about the bullying even knowing he has been bullied and Will already knows; because again, she's become too difficult (Can't defend herself from bullies), and will be given up on (Mike will see me as weak and leave me.) Mike's behavior only strengthens this thought in her mind. It also goes back to her being the most independent and selfless character even if she doesn't realize it; she doesn't want or need Mike to defend her. She doesn't want to be seen as weak, especially by the men in her life, because she perceives her powers as why they love or care for her (Brenner, Mike) or why they took her in (Hopper, Mike).

Both Hopper and Brenner "lock" her away, creating a distinct parallel between them, even if they had completely different intentions. But how do we create this parallel with the last main male in her life, Mike? Well I'm sure a lot of you are aware of the subtext in the scene where Mike puts El in the closet in S1. If you're not, basically he hides her in his closet and the he has a very coming out coded conversation with his mom and many people think this points to him being gay, myself included.

However I feel as though no one has taken a look at the scene in the context of El and what that means for her character. This is yet again another instance where a man locks her away, in reality or metaphorically. In the scene El looks scared and frightened, which narratively reflects the trauma she has from being locked in cells by Brenner, creating a distinct parallel between Mike and Brenner. Obviously we know Mike and Brenner are nothing alike and Mike didn't mean to traumatize her by locking her in there, but it's very symbolic. Essentially, it foreshadows how El is going to feel in their future relationship; locked away inside Mike's secret closet, completely in the dark about what their relationship even is. And Mike, in the subsequent seasons, is totally unaware of this up until a certain point which reflects in how he comes back upstairs and is surprised to find her crying when he finally opens the door. He shouldn't be surprised though;. he already knows she doesn't like to be in closed small rooms because she told him the day before. You could make the argument that he forgot, but it's a script so it's important. He also says something along the lines of "you have to" or "it'll be quick"; can't remember the exact line but something conveying that he knows she doesn't want to go in there but she has to for his sake. Brenner did everything he did to El for his personal gain, not El's. We're not supposed to see the connection in real-time, only in retrospect.

So basically the men in El's life have all treated her similar regardless of their very contrasting personalities. By the time we get to season 4, this shows her that men will hurt her, intentionally or not, no matter how different or better they seem than the last one or the others in her life. The fact that the connections begin in the very first few episodes shows that this is a huge part of her characterization and heavily flows in each and everyone of her seasonal arcs.

In season four, we finally see her starting to let go of Mike, even though she began the season obsessed and heavily emotionally reliant on him. And although I'm sure Hopper and El will always be close, he's right behind her in the last shot, while she's descending downwards on her own, with Mike, Will and Joyce also behind her. This suggest she's not only moving on from Mike, but gaining even more independence from men and her family (Hopper, Joyce, Will). Remember, even though we as the audience know El is incredibly independent in all kinds of ways as I've explained, she has not necessarily understood that throughout all of the seasons, at least not entirely. That's why she clings so closely to Mike or Hopper and why she had trouble letting go of Papa until the very end of S4. It's obviously very reasonable that she would; Mike is her boyfriend and the first person to take her in, Hopper is her true father figure and in S4 she thinks he died, creating even more trauma and codependent issues to arise, and Papa was her very first father figure. But next season, we are going to see an El Hopper who does not need anyone and knows it.

How This Reflects In S4 and Sets Up S5

This brings us to S4, which sets up the precedent for El's final arc in S5.

In S4, we meet El where she has lost the most important male figure she's ever had; Hopper, while simultaneously being separated from the only other main male in her life who has treated her nicely, Mike. She's finally by herself, AND without powers, which gives her the time to finally understand her true self.

When she's being bullied and can't defend herself because of her loss of powers, it reflects how El thinks of herself without powers. That she's weak and can't defend herself. We see that because of her past, she has put her self worth into being a super powered person. Again, pointing to why she doesn't tell Mike. She's embarrassed and doesn't want Mike to see her as worthless now that she can't even defend herself; after SHE used to defend THEM from bullies. Of course this has to affect her self esteem deeply. She's never really been without powers, so at this point she's connected that to not just her entire persona but her value as a person. She thinks it's the sole reason other people are attracted to her, or want to help her.

This is why Mike not being able to say I love you and separate her powers from her as a person is so important to El's arc. While yes it says a lot about how Mike feels, it also says a lot about how El has felt this entire time.

Having her own boyfriend, the person who is supposed to love her no matter what, only see her as the one thing she's been told her entire life is what gives her value, hurts her deeply, especially now that that "value" has been taken away. It hurts her more than people are willing to admit. This is the one person she wants to love her for more than the surface, and he can't.

And she confronts the topic when she has no powers and says "so you don't love me anymore?" indicating that she used to view him as someone who loved her for more than her powers, even though he's never told her that verbally. Now that she doesn't have her powers and he is very obviously not saying I love you (for his own reasons), it reinforces her idea that her powers hold her value. And that's why she goes and gets them back; not because she truly wants them. I'm sure she misses them and wish she had them in certain situations like Angela, but if she had never been offered a solution or a problem (Mike wants me to have powers, my friends in Hawkins are in danger) she wouldn't have tried to find one just to get her powers back. Note that her reasons only strengthen her selflessness. Throughout the entire show she has been incredibly selfless and the journey she goes in in S4 is meant to show how in S5, she's for once going to be thinking about herself (not just being independent but knowing you are.)

This is the catalyst for El finding her true self; and it's only metaphorical that she has to look deep inside her memories for what truly happened, which on the surface seems like it's strictly related to the main plot line with Vecna or getting her powers back. However, it's extremely important for El's character development. She's going back into her mind to understand that she is not the monster, even though that is what she's been intentionally or unintentionally told her entire life, even just a few days ago by her boyfriend. This whole time this is what she has believed and for the first time she's processing her trauma and realizing the truth, that she's so much more than her powers - she's a good person (when she banished One to the Upside Down for the children he murdered). I think the idea that she struggles with knowing she is a good person because of the male treatment she's been subjected to, is further supported by her solo episode, The Lost Sister. Her sister is practically the only one throughout the show who truly shows her the value of her powers and how her powers don't make her bad, they make her strong.

The shaving of her head is also very symbolic of her journey from being independent but not feeling that way into someone who knows how strong she is. For viewers it seemed very traumatic and wrong that they did this, which I definitely agree with narratively. But it's trying to convey that El is going through a rebirth - she's cutting out all of the old and starting fresh again. Cutting the hair off is typically symbolic of this. It also shows that it wasn't her choice but she's going to have to embrace it anyway. It wasn't her choice but it's time she grows out of this cycle she's been in with others, especially men, in her life. And it's only more ironic that presumably men are the one's who cut her hair - they are forcing her to let them go. Mike's behavior is causing El to realize her self worth. Hopper's death is forcing her to confront the reality that she doesn't truly need him and never did, though she may love him deeply. Brenner being the person behind this maximizes the theme to the fullest, because he's where all of her trauma stems from, and we know she is finally able to let him go this season. She's worked through her trauma and is realizing her own independence, how strong she is.

This theme is further emphasized at the very end when she is the only one to descend into the rotting flowers, just coincidentally the same ones Mike, a male in her life, picked for her. The old is rotting away for her, her old self is disintegrating and her new self will rise. Furthermore, she's also wearing all white, which can represent many things like innocence (I wasn't the monster this whole time) and rebirth (now that I know I'm truly good what will I do with that?)

We're going to see a huge, probably amazing, shift in El's character in S4 from feeling dependent to knowing her independence. She isn't going to be paired with anyone and she's going to be a huge character because she'll most likely be more powerful than ever now that she understands herself and how her powers do not give her value. I'm not sure how this will reflect narratively but get ready for an even more bad ass Eleven for the finale season! I'm so excited for her to break away from everything she thinks she needs and grow into her own!!!

[lune-moon-nuit]

"...cause I love her and I CAN'T LOSE her AGAIN"

“I'm just trying to demonstrate how careless Max is with Eleven's powers. In fact, how careless all of you are. You're treating her like some kind of machine when she's not a machine, and I don't want her to die looking for the flayed when they've obviously vanished off the face of the Earth. So can we please just come up with a new plan because I love her and I can't lose her again.”

Mike’s most quoted line in Season 3 — “Because I love her and I can’t lose her again” — is often cited as definitive proof of his love for Eleven. But this statement, when viewed in full context, is a trauma response rather than a heartfelt romantic confession.

What’s hilarious is that the reason why he said that is literally in the sentence itself: the trauma. It’s ironic that this scene is being used as the ultimate proof, when in reality, it perfectly illustrates Mike’s core issue. The trauma of having watched her sacrifice herself to protect him, after he’d spent the entire first season urging her to use her powers (he literally said it in season 1 that she was a weapon). What pushed him to say this was the accumulation of all the unresolved trauma he experienced throughout Seasons 1 and 2—and that doesn’t exactly strengthen your argument, because…

The trauma begins in Season 1. Mike forms a fast, intense bond with Eleven while Will is missing. He projects his grief, fear, and protective instincts onto her.

Expanding upon the notion that trauma lies at the heart of Mike and Eleven's relationship, it's significant to note that the moment Mike kisses Eleven in Season 1 occurs on the very same day he effectively attempted suicide by leaping into the quarry—an act from which she rescued him. From that point forward, he perceives himself as entirely indebted to her. Not only had he already idealized her as his only hope of finding Will, but she now embodied the literal reason he was still alive. Layered atop this is the influence of those around him—Lucas, Dustin, and even Nancy—who had begun to suggest he harbored romantic feelings toward her. Combined with his own confused emotions, the pedestal upon which he placed her from the very beginning due to the almost mythic timing of her arrival in his life, it constructs what appears to be a perfect narrative. And as a Dungeon Master and an aspiring storyteller, Mike is especially susceptible to such emotionally charged, almost archetypal storylines. Within this context, it becomes entirely plausible that he would interpret his overwhelming emotions—rooted in trauma, gratitude, and projection—as romantic love. That this kiss occurred on the very day of a near-death experience he never references again (and may never have shared with anyone besides those present) underscores the depth of repression and denial involved. Fundamentally, their relationship is born out of mutual trauma and survivor���s guilt. It is a structure of codependency rather than genuine romantic affection. Personally, I believe that had Mike not jumped into the quarry, and had Eleven not saved him, he would not have kissed her that night.

From the moment Eleven disappears at the end of Season 1 after using her powers to save him and their friends, Mike internalizes guilt and blame. He had encouraged her to keep using her powers, to push herself, and to fight — and she seemingly died because of it. He urges her to use her powers repeatedly, culminating in her presumed death. For nearly a year, Mike believes she died because he pushed her too far, he grieved her, believing it was his fault. This established a psychological pattern of guilt and a compulsive need to protect her, not because of romantic love, but as a trauma response.

If he truly loved her romantically, he would’ve reacted with joy and emotional fulfillment at the end of Season 3, when El told him she heard what he said and that she loves him too. He would’ve kissed her back, smiled, said something, even if he was surprised. The truth of that scene is, ironically, a perfect summary of how Mike—his point of view and his emotions—is misunderstood by the other characters and also by the audience. Because he is incapable of truly communicating or expressing his emotions.

That scene is literally Mike breaking down in a full-blown panic, triggered by his unresolved trauma: the fear of loss and abandonment caused by Will’s disappearance in Season 1, El’s absence and presumed death in Season 2, the helplessness of watching Will be possessed and nearly die, the massacre at the lab (gosh let’s be honest, Michael Wheeler urgently needs therapy, I did a post cut in two part : here and here who develop more and where I was already mentioning how this scene says a lot about Mike mental health), and finally, his survivor’s guilt for having encouraged El to use her powers to the point where she “died” right before his powerless eyes. This scenario is a mirror of Season 1's climax, and Mike’s panic reveals a deep-rooted fear of repeating past events.

For a whole year, he believed he was the reason El was dead. And the very argument that triggered that line was literally about whether or not El should keep pushing herself and her powers to the limit to stop Billy—when she had already nearly died doing exactly that. So yes, when Mike says, "Because I love her and I CAN’T LOSE HER AGAIN," it's true. Because, breaking news: Mike does love El. He deeply cares about her. He feels the need to protect her. He carries immense guilt over what happened to her, which only amplifies his desperate need to protect her now and avoid repeating the same mistake that, in his eyes, led to her "death"—a death that felt absolutely real to him.

When faced with the possibility of losing El again in Season 3, Mike's fear resurfaces—not because he is madly in love, but because he cannot emotionally survive another loss for which he feels responsible (he is just 14 here remember). The panic in his voice, the overwhelming urgency of “I can’t lose her again,” reveals that it is not romantic love driving him—it is fear, shame, and unresolved grief. This is compounded by his lack of romantic follow-through when she returns. There is no joy, no emotional intimacy, no physical warmth. Instead, there is distance, awkwardness, and emotional shutdown.

But the real truth in that line isn’t even the “because I love her” part—because nothing in that moment confirms he's saying it romantically (especially since he can’t even say it to her face, can’t write it to her, and still can’t say it even after she confirmed that she loves him and heard him say it). So yes, he loves her, just like he loves Lucas, just like he loves Nancy, just like he loves Dustin.

What truly matters in that sentence is: “and I CAN’T lose her AGAIN.” And those are the words he emphasizes. Not “because I love her”—that part is rushed, buried in the flood of words he’s pouring out mid-panic. But he clearly articulates and stresses “and I CAN’T lose her AGAIN.”

Everything is shown here—not told—through his words, his body language, his tone, the context. His trauma is triggered. He’s terrified. He’s trying to prevent history from repeating itself, because the current situation feels too much like the Season 1 finale from his perspective.

So no, it wasn’t romantic love that drove him to say that. It was unresolved, ignored trauma being violently reactivated. The only difference lies in how people interpret that line—be it other characters or the audience—through the lens of heteronormativity, completely ignoring the full context and everything that follows in Mike’s behavior and attitude toward El.

It could’ve been cute, and could’ve worked in your favor—if the show had ended with that episode. But unfortunately, the Season 3 finale and the entirety of Season 4 only go on to confirm that yes, he loves her and he can’t lose her again, but he doesn’t love her romantically, and he is deeply traumatized and in need of healing from his abandonment and loss issues—or else Vecna’s going to have an easy time with him.

If Mike were truly in love with Eleven, one would expect expressions of that love to come naturally, especially in moments of emotional vulnerability. Yet, at the end of Season 3, when Eleven tells him she heard what he said and that she loves him too, Mike gives no response. He looks stunned, confused, almost empty. He does not affirm her words, kiss her back, or show any sign of romantic fulfillment. Mike’s behavior in these scenes doesn’t resemble a boy in love. It resembles a boy in distress, one who is playing a role he feels obligated to fulfill, but who cannot emotionally connect with that role.

This pattern continues in Season 4. He avoids writing “Love, Mike” (and write every time "From Mike" instead) in letters, despite knowing it’s what Eleven needs to hear. When confronted, he dodges and manipulates: “I say it”. But we, the audience (and El too), know that he doesn’t. His behavior is not that of a loving boyfriend, but of someone trapped in a role he doesn’t know how to escape from. His “I love you” speech in Volume 2 is prompted not by genuine passion, but by external pressure, specifically by Will’s emotionally charged metaphorical painting (that channels Will’s own feelings for him) and pep talk and his finally staged encouragement ("don't stop, remember, you are the heart ! You're the heart"). The words are performative, desperate, idealized—not grounded in emotional truth. He praises a version of Eleven that no really exists, emphasizing her strength and powers, not her vulnerability, her personality, or her heart. This suggests he is in love with the idea of her—an idea shaped by admiration, yes, but especially guilt and obligation, not affection (further alienating her and reinforcing that his attachment is conditional and performative).

So yes, if the only two times your boyfriend tells you he loves you are:

– once, when you're not physically present, and he says it in a panicked trauma response, then refuses to take ownership of those words afterwards,

– and the second time is only after you told him that never hearing it from him is hurting you, and you need to hear it—and instead of reassuring you, he gaslights you into thinking he says it when he clearly doesn’t, dodges the subject by idealizing you as a superhero…

…and this “I love you” only comes when you’re on the brink of death, and only because his best friend handed him a painting with a disguised declaration of love in it?

Then I’m sorry, but that’s not romance. That’s codependency, guilt, trauma, emotional repression, and societal expectations. Not romantic love.

The relationship between Mike and El has long been framed through a heteronormative lens, one that presumes emotional closeness between a boy and a girl must equate to romantic attraction. The show’s framing and marketing often push this narrative, but Mike’s behavior consistently subverts it. His discomfort with physical affection, his emotional volatility, and his failure to express romantic feelings — even when prompted — all suggest that this narrative is externally imposed, not internally felt.

The audience’s insistence on seeing “Because I love her and I can't lose her again” as a definitive romantic confession overlooks the complexity of Mike’s trauma, his guilt, and his emotional repression. It ignores the fact that he never says it to Eleven directly until forced to, and even then, it is with inauthentic language and shaky motivation. The tragedy is that Mike’s real love story — one rooted in slow-burn intimacy, shared vulnerability, and mutual understanding — is with Will. But because it doesn’t fit the traditional mold, it goes unacknowledged by both the characters and the audience.

Mike Wheeler is not a romantic lead blindly in love with Eleven. He is a traumatized boy burdened by guilt, struggling with self-identity, repressing his true feelings, and unconsciously projecting protectiveness as love. His actions toward Eleven are rooted in trauma, not desire, while his connection with Will reveals the kind of emotional intimacy that speaks to a deeper, romantic truth. Until Mike confronts his trauma and his sexuality, he will continue to play a role that does not align with who he truly is — a boy in love, not with the girl who saved him, but with the boy who always understood him.

Mike is not a character who lacks love—on the contrary, he feels deeply. But his emotional repression, unresolved trauma, and fear of loss lead him to confuse guilt with devotion, and obligation with romance. His relationship with Eleven is a product of circumstance and narrative expectation—but it lacks the emotional reciprocity, intimacy, and authenticity of true romantic love. Meanwhile, his emotional world orbits around Will, whose presence brings out the rawest, most vulnerable, and most honest version of Mike.

In truth, Mike doesn’t need a girlfriend—he needs healing. He needs to confront his guilt, allow himself to feel, and to stop hiding behind a version of love that doesn’t belong to him. Only then will he be able to understand what love really is—and who it’s truly for.

[gayofthefae]

Okay but let's talk about this as a beautifully accurate representation of where El was in her healing here

She was abused by a man. In her healing, however, she found safe figures: a single father, a boyfriend, and two male best friends.

She is in a safer situation now. BUT

She has a VERY REALISTIC aversion to other women! She sees Max here from the moment she first saw her through the window only as competition for male attention. This is INCREDIBLY realistic and amazing to be shown so. Because trauma symptoms like this do not disappear immediately with safety - that's the definition of trauma 'symptoms', which only become disordered when not needed.

In her environment in the lab, especially with the now-knowledge of her siblings, she was not only appeasing the highest power which was a man, but she was in constant competition for that attention. We also know now: she was losing in that competition. But even when her only memories were of being an isolated "only child" abuse victim, the symptoms also make sense - the combination of conscious and subconscious memory creating the same trauma response.

The stakes of failing to gain approval from a man may no longer be public humiliation, verbal abuse, imprisonment, assault, electrocution, or abuse of loved ones (referring to 001's electrocution), but that doesn't mean the instinctive response isn't still very much there.

A man is someone to be appeased. A man is someone you seek approval from. A woman is someone you compete with for their approval. Only one can win. She doesn't have to actively believe Mike will hurt her to feel a general sense of high stakes and threat from Max being in his life.

It's why her relationship with Max the following season and prioritizing not just Max but a woman's approval over a man's and his desires from her is SUCH a big milestone. Because in season 2, she sees Max as a threat. A threat to her remaining prioritized goal, which we can interpret as being what she is so adamant about as her goal in the beginning of the season: male attention.

In season 1, she had Mike's attention and was rewarded with it. The only times she lacked it, he yelled at her or ignored her. Not in a way that genuinely resembled Brenner so much as triggered it - much like her triggers relating to him in season 4. So regardless of whether or how she factors that in, she either quantifies the idea of lacking his attention as connecting with some level of danger or neglect OR she does not factor those memories in making something differently scary: unknown stakes.

If a person is abused by someone who treats them nice when they do something wrong and poorly when they don't and form a new relationship with someone who is safe but they have never severely messed up with that person, they will hold that fear until they mess up and it's okay - likely repeatedly. As the abuse would have been long-term, they need to reassociate the consequences of mistakes. This is much of what we see in El's fears about Mike in season 4 and what I've talked about: because they are one of the only relationships of any kind that have not "broken promises" severely up until this point, she has no data on what will happen if she does. She doesn't believe he will harm her, but she does hold the very clearly stated belief that lack of attention means lack of love, and further that she is unlovable. This is the same reason it was so important for her and Hopper to break all their rules in season 2 - to demonstrate to her that making mistakes is a safe thing for her to do, the consequences of which may be anger but not danger or abandonment.

So with that fear for her in mind, as we know it in general and as it applies to Mike and continues to through and well past season 2, let's talk about her goal of Mike's attention in season 2:

In season 2 episode 2, we see her crying when Mike gets up and leaves the walkie. Of course, she misses him, but we did not see this response before. She is fearing that she is losing him. It's after this point that she becomes increasingly desperate to see him, fighting Hopper harder, yelling and throwing things, before ignoring his warning of danger to break out and see him. The reason the scene with Max is so emotional for her is not because she never thought he would move on, but because she was recently starting to fear that he would. She felt him slipping away and was feeling an increasing urgency to it, that if she didn't act now he would move on from her. She checked in with him every day and sites later that she was given comfort from his daily calls, but he starts to get more self-berating in them to himself for trying in the first place...until the breaking point. And she was right. After that, Mike stops calling, as we know from the number of days she recites later. So after she got that giving up on her call on Halloween night, the next morning she argued with Hopper for the first time in the "when is soon?!" argument where she psychically throws his plate into him. The subtext of "on day 700? On day 800?!" is "We're on day 354 now and I'm already losing him. I'll be too late in a few days, let alone years." So she sneaks out to see him in an attempt to save him before he finally slips away. And what she sees, to her, is that she's too late. Completely out of her control, and driving her anger towards Hopper further, she missed her window, and she lost him. She lost his attention - to another girl. In her mind, if she returns now, he'll never love her again. That's what happens when you lose someone's attention: you're unlovable. So she leaves for Chicago indefinitely, for a time even seriously considering not returning, even for Mike. The only reason she does is because she thinks she can give him something.

But when she sees Mike, he is thrilled to see her. And when she sees Max, all Max is to her is the girl who almost stole him. Who would have given a couple more days. Because she was raised on the idea that only one person can be loved at a time, the rest discarded, and that love is a competition that must be both won and maintained. Not only that, but that that competition is for a man's attention, therefore against other women.

Pre-season 1 El's life depends on whether she can achieve and maintain positive attention from a man. The stakes are high. In season 1, El is able to achieve positive attention from a man. The stakes are not high, but she has no way of knowing that. In fact, "a promise is something you can't break ever" likely interprets as reinforcing it to a traumatized mind. She also learns(this doesn't mean it's true) that the only way for her to maintain that attention is to be of service via her powers, as each time Mike is angry with her, she is able to regain it by making contact with Will or saving Mike using her powers. She has now learned that, based on the model she was raised on of love being something to be maintained, she is not lovable if she falls short of heroic. She ends season 1 with the ultimate heroic act: self-sacrifice.

In season 2, though she has Hopper, she is prioritizing her original validating male attention, Mike. Because Mike believes her dead, she feels powerless as she is unable to maintain the attention she cultivated from him. She cannot actively lose it either, so all she can hope to do is return to him before the slow fade goes all the way out. But she becomes increasingly desperate to catch him in time as urgency increased based on time-lapsed and his behaviors she's observed. His attention towards her is waning. She needs to get it back before it's lost. This is urgent to her and it is high stakes, because she's a thirteen year old in love? No. Because a man's attention was once life and death, and her body has not left that state, regardless of conscious beliefs about Mike. So she sneaks out despite the known danger - because in her traumatized body, the danger of losing a man's attention is equal if not surpassing to the risk of being seen. She thinks of losing Mike's attention if she doesn't go as an inevitability and being caught as a less likely risk, and if you think of the stakes of those situations as equal, the decision is clearer. So she goes, and she sees that she's too late. She has lost his attention. She is heartbroken and leaves. She fights with Hopper, she finds out about her mother and who she was or could have been and this is where that healing gets started. She prioritizes a woman - her mother. Then she prioritizes a woman - her sister. It is also incredibly important that Kali is the leader of the gang. Her approval is the most important, not Axl or anyone else's - who are first presented to her as the most intimidating, insulting and threatening her until Kali is a revealed as the true boss. She heavily considering not returning to the men who she considers to be lost to her: Hopper is angry with her, meaning she has lost his attention and approval, and Mike has moved on, meaning he would not care for her return. Hopper's apology is a huge part of it, because it is likely only the second she has ever received (Lucas) and the first elaboration of love. He teaches her for the first time in her life that anger is not a lack of love or punishment and that it can actually be based in love, though that does not make him less responsible, and most importantly, something she has never seen, he demonstrates capacity for guilt. He loves her enough to feel bad about hurting her. She's never had that before. Hurting has simply been an act to revoke love as purposeful punishment and the people who do it have stood by and repeated those actions. She then sees too that they are in need of her help. She now knows two things: Hopper does love her. Her powers make Mike love her. She returns - going to Will's house, not Mike's or home, with intention to save the day, not reunite. It seems from her surprised look that she didn't know Mike would be there, so we can also assume the case for Hopper, but likely only the Byers. She has returned to save the day, as is her value. After her reunions, she ignores Max. Because Max, to her, is solely a threat, as only one person can win Mike's attention and if Max is in her life, there's a risk that it isn't her, for which, as we've established, the stakes would be very high. Learning that Hopper's love for her is unconditional is not the same as learning that she is unconditionally lovable. To segue, though, Hopper apologizing in the car cements that fact for her in her relationship with Hopper: "I guess we broke our rule" - that making mistakes is okay and not a threat to her safety.

In season 3, however, she starts out being neutral about Max but not close. They seem to not interact much and just share a physical space together, as Max seems intimidated when El first approaches her one on one. The only reason for which is to regain a man's attention. El is happy at the start of the season because she sees Mike every day and is keeping his focus and has been consistently "every day for six months" as Hopper references. She feels that his attention is a secure thing. So when she loses it unexplained, she is very surprised and confused. The remaining stakes in this for her are very clear by the fact that she seeks advice from someone she dislikes after under one day of not having his attention. She goes to Max for advice on how to regain his attention. Max is also no longer a threat to her as she knows now Max is not pursuing Mike's attention. Max says she needs to relax for a day because giving him a taste of his own medicine will get him to understand and come back. And she suggests that if he doesn't act properly in response, she dump him. This IS huge for El when she follows through. It is an impulse she would have been very averse to before having the support of Max. She is starting to value women's attention more. But it is also true that it was merely an impulse. That night, she needs comfort when she's reminded that they're broken up (this is because she misses him, yes, but no action or emotion is untouched by trauma responses as an abuse survivor). Max tells her to not worry because he'll come crawling back any moment begging for her to come back. This is nice to her because it validates the healing idea she learned from Hopper last season: that she is missed and people who hurt her feel independent guilt. Though the breakup is big for her, we know it doesn't solve everything from her persistent symptoms in season 4. Because though progress, every step of the breakup so far is a tactic. It is an empty threat, just like Max makes to Lucas, to get Mike back. At this point, she has never truly believed that they will stay broken up. Which is also why a huge step in the season is her ANGER towards him when she sees that he is remorseless and expects HER to come back to HIM. She wants his attention, and it's better than nothing that he still wants hers, but she now has Hopper as a healthy comparison to raise her expectations. Her expectations have been raised to expect remorse for hurting her(huge!). So when he does come "crawling back" SHE DOESN'T LET HIM. Again, HUGE FOR HER! She even argues that maybe Hopper was right in suggesting they spend time apart. Of course, this too, is said in anger and not commitment, as many such things are in life. Because he did not apologize in earnest, he shifted blame to Hopper. He 'explained', but he did not apologize. We know it is said in anger not follow through because in the very next episode he offers an olive branch, subtly implying regret for his previous comment by making fun of himself for it, and she immediately looks at him with interest again, showing she never genuinely stopped wanting to be together. She is not ready to forego his approval, but is still major progress for her hold out on it until her standards are met and he has yet to fully apologize. She then overhears him say he loves her which steps EVERYTHING up and I would argue actually causes major regression for her. It is the classic moment of regression: there is something she has been slowly learning not to chase after...and she gets it. She got the thing she craved. But she still holds onto her growth in holding out for that apology that she gets in the mini-mart the following episode. She has communicated with him her needs - trust - and received an apology. In the apology, though, he attempted to tell her he loved her but they were interrupted - she knows this, she heard the attempt, but it seems that he intends to follow up himself at the next opportunity, then everything gets complicated, so she lets him initiate like he seems to want to on his own time.

(had to paragraph break bc tumblr gave me a warning)Then, she loses the only man in her life who she has confirmed unconditional love from. She no longer has that to return to. It's the last day and she's leaving without having Mike as her boyfriend again. Not previously mentioned, but that is also pertinent because in season 2, she was shown learning English from movies that idolize romantic love about all - even using the name Michael. She lacks her father's attention now and doesn't want to leave without Mike's to hold onto in her shift to complete unfamiliarity, so she gives him one last chance to do it himself, then decides to initiate on her own and tell him she loves him. She, naturally based on what she overheard, assumes that nerves are the only reason he hasn't said it/gotten back together, so this will solve them. To her, she has his attention again.

Pre-season 4, they have been writing consistent letters and are implied to talk on walkies when Mike has access to Dustin's radio, as El has a walkie in her room with her Mike-things. When it comes to letters, there is a maximum amount of attention you can get or give and she is getting it...almost. She's started to notice the pattern that, though she pointedly signs her letters "love" every time, he always signs "from". In retrospect, she realizes that the his last attempt to tell her he loves her was mere hours before it was first discovered that she lost her powers. She isn't the hero to him anymore, so, just she felt in season, she has stopped being lovable. Although in season 1, the tone was different. In season 1, it was "I can make myself lovable with my powers! I can get love I haven't had before!", but now it's "I have the ability to lose that love". Despite her personal efforts, losing her powers makes her incapable of maintaining his love, which she still believes she must do. She is also being bullied. Not only has she lost her powers, but she is failing socially. She still has Mike's attention, but like in season 2, though for different reasons, she fears that it is waning. She lies to him in the letters to maintain it and when he arrives, plans the entire day with the sole intention of winning him back/convincing him to love her, to the point of completely excluding Will from it: "I want today to just be about you and me". Because in this case, Will, too, is capable of stealing his attention from her, though she wouldn't blame him the way she did Max, she still protects herself from it. Because she believes that if he finds out, she will lose the last bit of his attention she had and he will discard her. Which is also why, even after being caught clear and red-handed, still she asks Angela to lie for her. Because this is still high stakes for her. We then see a direct confirmation when Mike is directly paralleled to Brenner in her flashback. But this is not the first time he is paralleled to Brenner. Mike has been a representation for the stakes with which she views male attention the entire series - which is why only Mike and Hopper are directly paralleled to Brenner, a Brenner parallel means high stakes attention - season 4 is just the first time we're seeing her when she's actually failed to attain it and can no longer assume she would have been fine. She had started to believe that she was lovable to him in season 3 as he expressed missing her when they broke up, but she now views her powers as the only thread causing that. He views her as "incredible", not lovable. Everything he 'loves' her for, she no longer is. And as Mike's cut line describes, she somewhat gives up here. But not in an independent way. In a resigned way. Not "I don't need your love", but "if you can't love me it's because no one can". So she leaves. She leaves to become lovable again.

And when she sees the first man to ever teach her she was worthless, she runs at first - of course, he represents danger on a base level. But then he tells her he is confident he can, to her mental translation, make her lovable again, and she goes with him willingly. Because at the end of the day, too, every moment spent trying to convince any man to love her was just an attempt to relive and rewrite her relationship with Brenner to convince him to. That opportunity is in front of her again, and she can't pass it up.

Because none of this was about Mike. And none of it was about Hopper. And none of it was about Max. It was about Brenner and her siblings. She has spent the entire series fighting for male attention and seeing others as competition for it without knowing why. Season 4 is about her learning way. In season 4, she uncovers and processes the memories that founded her belief that love must be repeatedly earned and maintained and the consequences for it not being are abuse and death. Now that she can point to the exact memories that taught uniquely her that, it no longer looks like a fact of life. And she can let it go. She can let him go.

She has someone to blame now. "I came her to find out if I was the monster. But now I know. It is not me. It is you." She has someone to blame.

It isn't her fault for failing to earn his love. Because love is not be earned. "Papa does not tell the truth". That was a lie he told her to get away with it. She has someone to blame now. Which also means she has someone to let go.

She's free. She reunites with Mike and he is just Mike to her. He is no longer a mirage of her abuser abandoning her over and over again. Will is just Will. He is not someone she'll be locked in a cage for not being able to be.

So when she said she was worried Brenner was right about it being soon, it is guilt towards Max only. Hypotheticals she could have done differently. But she says that to Mike as just Mike. And she goes to her room and she sees her dad as just her dad. And her mom isn't competing for her dad and her best friend isn't competing for her boyfriend and neither is her brother. Because she doesn't need it anymore. That's what not needing it is.

Because she never need Mike to love her. She needed Papa to love her. She doesn't need that anymore, so Mike is what he always was. Not needed, but wanted. She never needed Mike. So not needing him now is good thing. It means he's just Mike to her <3.

[meepmorp1232]

Mike Wheeler and Milkvan from an Aroace Perspective

Hi! So this is something I've been thinking about for a while now and I wanted to see if anyone else thought of this. This post will focus on Mike's queercoding and his relationship with El (and a little bit of byler). No, I do not think Mike is aroace (but he could be on the spectrums, it's hard to tell).

I'm aroace, and if you don't know what that means, it is short for aromantic (aro) and asexual (ace). Aros experience little to no romantic attraction. Aces experience little to no sexual attraction. Basically, I don't get crushes or have any desire for intimacy (but it's a little more complicated than that, so I encourage you to do your own research). I understand that asexuality and aromanticism are very diverse spectrums. This is my personal interpretation and you do not have to agree with me (but please be nice, for I am but a humble byler). I am not trying to invalidate alloromantic/allosexual people's experiences (alloromantics experience romantic attraction and get crushes, allosexuals experience sexual attraction and have a desire for intimacy).

Starting with s1, there was always something off for me about milkvan. Sure, Mike and El had moments, but they didn't really seem like anything other than Platonic. I felt like there wasn't that much build up to their first kiss and it seemed like they just added that at the last second (and they kinda did). It felt rushed and they were literally just talking about being siblings. Then Mike invited her to the Snow Ball. And he didn't seem to show any romantic interest in El until Lucas brought it up.

In s2, Mike kinda forgot about El until she showed up in the end. I mean, he "called" her for, like, a year (and that was more survivor's guilt than anything), but he never went after her, even when he literally saw her. And as soon as Will was in trouble, he stopped calling. Then she comes back, and they have this whole reunion thing and Mike and El almost kiss. After that, we see Mike pining for Will at the Snow Ball. The milkvan kiss looked really genuine, though, definitely fooled me.

In s3, Mike focused all his energy on his relationship by making out with El constantly and ditching his friends. Then El dumps him and he had no idea what he did wrong. He doesn't seem very sad about it, though. Skipping the entire middle of the season, that last milkvan kiss. What the actual fuck was that?

"Oh shit, I'm gay." Like, there is a literal lightbulb above his head. I cannot make this shit up (this is honestly one of my favorite scenes just because of how fucking gay it is).

In s4, Mike's in a long-distance relationship with El, and he can't say "I love you" for some reason, " You can't even write it, Mike." When he gets to Cali, he's kinda off (and gay panicking about Will looking like a grown-ass man). He and El fight and basically break up. Then they reunite after El explodes a helicopter, and it's all very Platonic. Then there's Mike's monologue. I'm not even gonna start with that, El deserves so much better than that bullshit.

Now onto the analysis. I've always related to Mike, and I had no idea why (maybe because of his various mental health issues and general obliviousness towards peoples' emotions). Then I found out that byler exists and was like, "oh! That explains so much!" I started looking at him and milkvan from a new perspective and it all made sense: most of the things Mike has done are things that I would have done before I found out that I was aroace (and if I didn't have anxiety), and that's one of the reasons i relate to him.

In s1, Mike didn't show any romantic interest in El because he didn't have any. When Lucas brought it up, Mike saw this as an opportunity to prove that he's straight, that he's normal. The kiss and Snow Ball invitation seemed rushed because they were rushed. But if I was in Mike's position, I would have pursued El romantically. If I was alone with her, I would have kissed her and invited her to the Snow Ball.

In s2, Mike treated her like a friend, because that's what he saw her as. I would have treated her like a friend because I would have seen her as a friend. He called her because he missed her as a friend (and also survivor's guilt), which is what I would do too. But he never made an effort to find her and assumed she was dead, which is what I would do. Then El comes back and Mike forces himself into a relationship with her by dancing with and kissing her at the Snow Ball, which is, again, what I would do.

In s3, Mike tries and fails to appear straight. He pours all his energy into his relationship. He makes out with El non-stop and ditches his friends for her, 'cause that's what straight people do, right? Then El dumps him, and he's like, "what the fuck? I was just being straight!" He doesn't seem very sad about losing El, just moping and blaming Max for sabotaging his heterosexuality. These are all things that I would do since I have no idea how alloromantic/allosexual relationships work. I would probably treat them like friendships, but with kissing. Skipping to the end, that kiss. Mike's internal monologue: "oh shit, I'm gay." I did that (minus the awkward kiss) when I figured out that I was aroace.

In s4, Mike's back to his s2 vibe, but now he know that he's gay. He's in a long-distance relationship, so it's easier to just pretend it doesn't exist. He can't say or write "I love you," because friends don't lie (further proving that he sees El as a friend). I would do these things too. When he gets to Cali, he's kinda off because he knows now that he can't make himself be straight (also gay panic, because the difference between s3 ad s4 Will is crazy). This is how I would act in his situation (minus the gay panic). They fight and basically break up, and reunite fairly Platonically. Again, exactly what I would do. I do not want to talk about Mike's bullshit monologue, but I would say those things too.

In conclusion, on the miniscule chance that byler isn't endgame, I am almost 100% sure that Mike is queer and milkvan should and will break up. This relationship is not good for either of them. Just the facts!

This is the first analysis I've ever done, so tell me your thoughts on my interpretation and please be nice. Thanks for reading!

TLDR: Mike and I are very similar. He behaves very similarly to many aroace people that are questioning/in denial. If byler doesn't happen, I am almost positive that Mike is still queer and milkvan will break up.

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Starving until s5? No new content? Aren't we all starving?

Anyway, here's food for thought. Please.

[owlsinleatherjackets]

… has anyone considered. that the longer El’s hair gets/the more traditionally “feminine” she looks, the weirder Mike gets with her. short-haired El in s1 and s2 is the version of her he’s the most comfortable with. when she gets her head shaved and looks more “boyish” again, he’s suddenly able to confess his love for her. have we considered.

[aria-bun]

So me and my friend had a debate and it made me realize how you can see which characters are favored by the creators by how much of their backstory (how the grew up, what happened before s1, their family lives) we know of them.

For this, im going to be using characters that got introduced in S1, as they have had the most time to be added onto (almost a decade), plus Max as a shoe-in.

This list would be: The Byers(+el), the Wheelers, The Hendersons, the Sinclairs, the Mayfields, and the Harringtons.

The Byers:

Joyce married Lonnie and had Jonathan and Will before separating (I don't remember explicitly why, probably because he was a piece of shit). Jonathan and Will live with Joyce with no visitation from Lonnie, and are very close. Joyce isn't the most stable parent, so Jonathan helps around, kind of co-parenting Will. El grew up in the lab, and we see all the stuff that happens when shes younger, which makes sense since she is the main face of the show, so she's kind of exempt from this list.

The Wheelers:

On the outside, they're seen as the perfect suburban family, but in reality, Karen and Ted are in a loveless marriage, especially proven in s3 when Karen is having a weird relationship with Billy. The Wheeler siblings have a normal sibling dynamic of shouting and a love-hate relationship, with (this mainly applying to Nancy) the pressure of having to hold up the "perfect family" image.

The Mayfields:

Max's mom married Billy's dad when Max was young (I dont know if they mentioned what happened to her dad or if i just forgot), after Billy's mom had died. They lived in California until they were introduced in s2. Billy's dad is physically and verbally abusive, which has influenced Billy's actions towards Max. After Billy's death, we know that Billy's dad left, and that Max's mom isn't in a good mental state, leaving Max to take care of herself while also coping with her brother's death.

Now lets compare that to what we know about the Hendersons, the Sinclairs, and the Harringtons:

The Hendersons:

Dustin's dad isn't in the picture (we dont know why), and his mom likes cats.

The Sinclairs:

Lucas has both of his parents, who are in a loving relationship, and he has his sister Erica, who he has a generic sibling relationship with.

The Harringtons:

Rich background, Steve's parents are never around, but it's never expressed as to what his relationship with them is like. (Ik he wasn't meant to be a main character and he was supposed to die in s1, but its been a decade, they could have added onto it at any time)

We can also see this in how their trauma affects them

El and Will both have similar "im the freak" mindsets, which gives them the struggle of being able to make new friends and expand their circle. They also have a lot of trauma from the upside down, and El unknowingly blocked memories of what happened with 001 due to how traumatic they were.

Mike was bullied his whole life, which does reflect in his character, making him quick to react to situations rather than analysing them before responding. His trauma doesn't come from his family, but from other people he has been around. With both him and Nancy, it is shown that they both struggle with telling people that they care about "I love you" (Nancy with Steve, Mike with El), probably from seeing how "love" affected their parents.

Max's mental health had a steep decline after loosing Billy, and it is explicitly shown and a large part of her character in s4, so that one needs little explanation due to how blatantly obvious it is.

Now, Dustin, Lucas, and Steve have all been dealing with the Upside Down just as long as the others have been (besides Max), and little trauma is shown from it.

Dustin and Lucas were both bullied like Will and Mike were, yet it doesn't seem to actually affect their character like it has for Mike and Will. Both also have their share of events happening with the Upside Down.

Steve did go through a character arc, but we don't see how trauma has affected him, especially since he seems to be the shows punching bag. He got tortured by russians, almost got shot by his ex, has gotten into fight after fight for these kids, and got dragged to the bottom of the lake by his ankles and proceeded to get strangled and attacked by bats.

And none of them seemed to be affected by any of it.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

If there are any other ST characters you want an analysis on, send an ask!

[heyitspersephone]

Thinking about stranger things again now that the strikes are over and how, narratively, it would be way, WAY cooler to have Mike get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5

It’s just something about the way Mike’s trauma is never addressed or handled in any way?? Like, he hugs his mom twice and then when he was depressed in season 2 and 4 nobody did anything (his parents scolded him for his behavior in s2 ig but that’s not support). His best friend went missing leaving from his house, he watched his body get pulled from the quarry, watched El (in his eyes) kill herself stopping the demogorgon, watched Will be possessed, saw Bob die, was in Star Court when everything went down, saw Billy die, had his best friend move away, was SHOT AT (and really too few people talk about the shooting in Cali bc omg??), buried a body, and watched the apocalypse start. And that’s just off the top of my head.

(And yes I’m aware that the other characters (especially Will) are traumatized too but I will get to my point in a second just hold on)

The plot is geared towards this idea that Will and Henry have to have some big face off (and they should, in my opinion, but I don’t think it should be in a possession, or at least not the the Vecna kind of possession, yk?) but that makes it all the better, writing wise, to have mike be the one in danger. Will was helpless and hiding in s1, I think Will should get his big strong moments in s5 where he gets to be the hero of the story.

It would just be a lot more fun to work with Mike being Vecna’d than Will, because what are we going to bring up with Will’s visions? His dad? His sexuality? The events of s1 from his perspective? It would be cool to see, for sure, but we already know most of that. Mike, on the other hand, has a number of untapped things, like jumping off the quarry, why he’s so hesitant to tell El he loves her, how someone who was smart and kind enough to take El in in s1 and come up with the spy and sauna plans in s2 and s3 could turn into the oblivious asshole that he was in s3 and s4 (he needs therapy, ik, I still love his character but I want to explore the reasons he went from his s2 characterization to his s3 one)

It would be a very interesting parallel, I think, to explore Mike’s thought processes in this way, especially with all of Mike’s repression business (bc whether you ship byler or milkvan he is repressing his feelings HARD. Like, beyond his inability to say I love you there’s the fact that he doesn’t bring up the apparent many times he called pre-s4 during the Rink O Mania fight?? That literally would’ve absolved him of guilt in that argument since he WAS reaching out to Will the whole time? Hellooooo????).

Anyways, this all brings me to my main point: Vecna targets isolation as much as he targets trauma and guilt. The whole party was traumatized by the events in s1, s2, and s3, but Max was the one targeted. Plus, Henry went for Fred, Chrissy, and Patrick (I think his name was Patrick) instead of going for the perceivably easy targets that the mcs would make (ik narratively that would’ve made it more boring but shhh), so why Max and those three specifically? They were isolated. Lucas and Erica have each other, Dustin goes to Steve and Robin, Will and El have each other and Jonathan and Joyce, Nancy probably goes to Jonathan, and who does Mike go to?

No one. And don’t say Nancy because if those two have heart to hearts then I’m the next coming of Christ. Max separated herself from the Party in the aftermath of her grief and guilt over Billy, and it feels quite obvious that Mike was doing the same (like I said, he has repression issues). So Mike is traumatized, alone, and guilty (be it Will getting taken from Mike’s house, losing El in front of him multiple times, the many deaths he has witnessed, or the internalized homophobia angle), which makes him more of a target than Will, in my opinion (or at least an easier one, especially given his tendency to put himself on the line during fights (quarry, most of s2, s3 mindflayer fight), which would set him up on the suicidal ideation path)

Furthermore, as I’ve seen a few other people point out (and I can’t find the posts but one of them had eight screenshots of the various moments), Mike is always the one getting in the way, so it would be a strategic move for Henry to target him to get him out of the picture. Mike was the one that found El and got her involved in saving Will s1, he was the one who came up with the spy plan and called out the ambush in s2, he was the one to monologue Will out of his possession s2, he was the one with the sauna plan for Billy in s3, he was the one trying to help El get the strength to fight s4 (even if the monologue sucked ass it’s the intention that counts). As much as people like to hate on Mike, he is in the leader position most of the time when the party is grouped up (barring his mental health struggles slowing that down beginning of s3 and throughout s4, but he’s still capable of it). He’s the idea man, and he’s the one whose character’s foundations were built on the desire to keep his friends safe, so it would be a very fun plot line to watch him be the one targeted in s5. Like Will said, as lovestruck and cheesy as he was, Mike is the heart of the party when he’s on his A-game, so Henry should 100% be trying to keep him in the issues he’s been struggling with.

Obviously, Will and El are the Targets with a capital T for Henry since they’re the ones that got away or whatever, but I think Mike is a weakness of Will’s (and El’s tbh but also I think they need to have separate character arcs and I don’t exactly ship milkvan) that should be exploited.

TL;DR: Mike should get Vecna’d instead of Will in s5 because it would make sense in lore and be a very cool way to resolve his character arc

[byler-alarmist]

There is a pattern, if you are brave enough to see it

Hint: old, new

[faramirsonofgondor]

IANOWT & Stranger Things

Since Shawn Levy has worked on both projects and I’ve been rewatching ianowt recently I’ve been finding a lot of parallels between the two shows. I think it’s interesting that Sydney has such strong parallels to both El and Will.

For starters, both her and El are young teen girls struggling with super powers and don’t really have a lot of guidance, and they both tend to lose control of their emotions quickly. The scene where Sydney makes Brads nose bleed reminds me a lot of when El made Max fall of her skateboard - both of them being fueled by their jealousy & discomfort. Sydney throwing the bowling balls towards Stanley sort of reminds me of El training her powers with Kali. Sydney making Brads head explode also reminds me of El hitting Angela with the roller skate - they were both being publicly humiliated for not being ‘normal’ in front of two of the people they were closest to and they let their emotions get the best of them.

Sydney and Will’s similarities are less about their personalities and actions and more about the situations that they’re in. They are both social outcasts who had to deal with trauma at a young age and they are also both closeted homosexuals who are in love with their best friends. They both have to watch their best friend get into a relationship with someone and they both feel like they’re being pushed to the side (Sydney less so though). Also the scene where Brad outs Sydney and Stanley tries to defend her reminds me of Mike defending Will after Troy called him a fairy during the school assembly in S1, which brings me to my next point.

Mike is a mix of Dina and Stanley based on the purposes he serves for El & Will’s characters. Mike is the Dina to Will’s Sydney, but he’s the Stanley to El’s Sydney. When Dina gets into her relationship with Brad, it only makes Sydney feel more outcasted and Sydney feels the need to ‘be normal’ like Dina (i.e. getting into a relationship with a guy, losing her virginity, going to prom, etc.). When Mike gets into his relationship with El, it also isolates Will in a similar way (Will dancing at the snow ball with a girl) however Will himself doesn’t really conform in the way that Sydney does, which leads to some pushback from Mike (the S3 argument). However it is Sydney’s confrontation of her feelings for Dina - and the belief that they’re unrequited - that lead Sydney into have her outburst in the woods. Will’s confrontation with Mike also leads to an extremely similar outburst in the woods as well (there are even some similar visual aspects - the fact that it’s set at night during a storm/rain).

Meanwhile, Stanley offers support for Sydney as she tries to figure out her powers and finds solace in her - because they’re both outcasts. He looks through comic books to figure out how to help her and he views her as this sort of super hero figure. Mike offers support while she’s hiding from the lab and finds solace in her as well because they’re both outcasts. He constantly compares her to comic book superheroes and sees her as one as well. I think it’s super interesting that both Syd & Stanley and Mike & El jump into a sort of romantic relationship so soon after becoming friends. I think part of it is that they want to fit in and act like society expects them to, but for the most part what they’re feeling is platonic.

I think it also says something that Mike and Will’s relationship mirrors the one that starts out platonic and ends as romantic while Mike & El’s relationship mirrors one that starts romantic and ends up platonic.

[kissboybyler]

it gets to me so much sometimes when i think that, in whichever fandom, the GA or just most people tend to ship two characters just because they are canon. Like mike and el, for instance, they are canon, they have kissing scenes and they dance at the ball and they…hug?! But what do they even talk about? What’s the music playing in the background? What’s the context of their interactions? Why, why do they love each other? Do they make each other better, do they find missing parts of themselves in the form of another person? Are there hints and tells and color-codes that just…exist to symbolise their love?

Why do we ship these characters? What’s is it about their love that is so strong? And don’t get me wrong, i also believe -like many other bylers/ fans of the show- that mike and el grew to love each other, to appreciate and kind of need each other. But not for the right reasons.

I mean, mike needs to be needed, to be able to help or even save another person, to feel loved and wanted. But he also needs to allow himself to be who he is, outside of “forced conformity” (“that’s what’s killing the kids” after all!)

El, on the other hand, needs to find who she is, but firstly she needs to have a safe place where she is allowed to kind of just exist and then blossom into her true self. And bumping into mike, who eventually grew to appreciate and embrace her, she felt safe for the first time. And alongside her, mike felt needed, like he could protect her and be there for her and make her happy.

But now el, who has established both meaningful familial relationships and friendships, needs to find out who she is. How can we expect her to grow when she’s in a relationship with the first person she met right after she broke out of the lab (her literal prison), who can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers?

And i’ve read many many other people write about this, about how in s4, when mike wasn’t with el he embraced his geeky, nerdy and weird self but when he finally reunited with el, he had to hide himself from her (as did she!). He just…couldn’t be himself around her.

But like, apart from the problems in their relationship, i really just don’t understand why people ship them. It’s just…mike cant be himself around el and el doesn’t have room to find herself when she’s with mike. It literally doesn’t make any mathematical sense.

And then they say we’re delusional for thinking, for proving, that there are astronomically higher chances for these two not to be endgame, for el to be single and for mike and will to get together. Because it makes sense…right? Like, el will be able to find herself outside of a relationship, she won’t be dictated by anyone but her own self, and mike and will… do i really have to elaborate? Like, in every single aspect of stranger things, from musical titles and colour-codes, parallels and loving, longing stares, hand touches, over-protectiveness, deep and meaningful understanding to posters and freaking funko-pops, interviews and good ol’ fashioned cinematography and storytelling… it all points to them, if you connect the dots.

And how, how is it possible that so many dots have been put into such perfect places, to make such a beautifully crafted imagery, just for all of this to be a coincidence? When, when has anything ever in stranger things been coincidental? Ever?

Edit: I’d just like to denote that, when i said “(mike) can’t even talk about any other part of her that he loves other than her powers” i didn’t mean that mike loves el JUST because she has powers, fuck no, BUT when the time was right for him to note all of the other aspects of her character that make her a remarkable person (ex. her selflessness, her compassion), he decided to focus on her powers. The very thing that she herself thought dictated her.

just wanted to make that super clear.

[strawberry-pretzels]

That’s bullshit bylers don't care for el at all

even though el isn't even in the ship i see more people actually analyzing HER character arc a lot too and what's best for her rather than just bashing her

and besides some mackerels have literally had their points shut down by bylers asking "but what about what EL wants?" proving that bylers think abt el more than some macaronis out there

plus whenever i ramble about el hopper here on tumblr dot com i get more notes than what i usually have 😭

[gayofthefae]

El to me is so very much a representation of female rage in an empowering way who also deserves rest. I love her gentle moments. Because she is ANGRY and she is allowed to express it. But it is also so sweet to see her in those soft moments. Where she doesn't have to. The quiet, calm moments when she doesn't have any to express.

She is strong and she is allowed to be strong. But at the end of the day, it's about how she shouldn't have to be.

Thinking about El keeping her powers but laying down her load.

Honestly, thinking about "To you I can admit that I'm just too soft for all of it".

[eightfifteen]

i do love that El has such a fucked up view of society. Like more than anyone she's stuck with the most radical view of societal rules and conformity because that's the only experience she has with society - the rules taught to her.

El has never been taught how girls are weaker than boys. That's never been the issue. Not at the lab, and not since escaping.

She knows women are strong and capable because she's seen Nancy and Joyce and Max exist right in front of her. She herself is powerful beyond anything society thinks she's capable of and not just as a woman.

But she has been taught gender norms, more than anything or anyone else, i think. Because she was raised in an environment where boys and girls were literally the same - there was no gender divide, no color coding, nothing to tell one from the other.

So she comes into society and one of the first things she's taught is to blend in by wearing a pink dress and have long hair.

Other people are born into this society, and though they're also definitely taught conformity and raised on gendernorms, because they've actually lived it, they've also pushed up against the boundaries of those rules, they've experienced the flaws first-hand, realized that just because they're girls doesn't mean they don't want to play with 'boy' toys, or don't prefer wearing pants over dresses. Like they had to fight against this idea from a very young age to varying degrees of success.

But not only did El never bump against the constraints herself (like never was told she couldn't have anything she wanted because she's a girl), she actively wants to fit in as much as possible because she wants to be normal. And the idea that there is a normal, a perfect guide and set of rules to follow so she can make sure she's always doing the right thing, brings her a sense of security.

Her powers - that strength she has - is part of her trauma. She only has that because of the hands of men, and though she wants and needs that power to exist and feel secure after all she's been through, she'd much rather never have had them at all. Her ultimate dream is to have been raised a normal little girl in a pink bedroom who only has to worry about make up and boys and shopping because that's what she sees 'normal' girls got to experience, that's what she feels has been taken from her. To her, that's nothing to feel shamed about, that's nothing to resent, or to feel weak for. Especially as she sees how much power girls like Angela have by doing everything right. To her, all that gender-conforming, hetero-normative bullshit is what makes teenagers powerful.

She's seen the party struggle and be belittled because they're different and therefore powerless. And even Nancy, who is her closest experience with a physically powerful woman (other than Joyce), likes pink and wears dresses and dates boys. Like even Max, who is a little more tomboyish, takes her out to do typically girlish things. And even on the other side of that spectrum, she's seen Joyce struggle because she doesn't look like what a supposedly 'powerful' woman at the time looks like - aka someone like Karen who can afford to curate her look.

Part of the reason she's getting burned in LA, is because she doesn't have anyone to teach her or guide her gender-conformity. So she's struggling and trying to find her own way to perfect femininity. Like she's trying to replicate the girls around her - wear dresses, and curate outfits that are colorful and garner attention, and wear her hair long, and decorate her room like Nancy's and have a boyfriend and go to the roller rink on dates.

But she's not doing it correctly and she can't figure out what it is that she's doing wrong. Because though Max taught her to like typical girly things, and separate herself from boys, she never taught her the part of what a typical girl is supposed to look like because Max doesn't restrict herself to typical feminine fashion, and both Hopper and Joyce wear flannel so which is it??? She doesn't understand that dressing "the right way" is part of femininity or what "the right way" is.

She doesn't get the nuance of it all. So she's wearing whatever clothes she wants to wear, because that's what Max taught her, but likes the girly things Max likes and not the stupid boy things, because that's also the message she got from Max (even if it wasn't intended as such). Like Max never took her to the Arcade or took her skateboarding, because she was following along with what El thought she liked. Hell, even the comic book she shows El is a "girly" comic book in the sense that it's still catered towards girls. And El inherently just seems to like girly things and doesn't care for science or DnD or video games like the party does, so that's yet another reason for her not to think anything wrong with gender-norms because she's a girl and likes these things so that's correct.

And so El desperately wants to understand femininity but she can't put the pieces together and can't do it right.

She never sees femininity as anything less, but she still very much thinks femininity is something else entirely from masculinity. And that those things are inherently separate and tied to someone's assigned gender, because that's what society is teaching her and she has no reason or desire to question that, even if she doesn't understand it. She does have questions, obviously, cause she doesn't know the rules, but she has no reason to think the whole thing is flawed, or that there are varying shades of purple in between pink and blue.

Like gender-nonconformity in a way is literally part of her trauma - hello rainbow room (sorry bad joke) - and we all cried when she woke up and realised her hair was gone. And you can tell at the end of season 4 she realises that will always be a part of her, and she seems to give up on trying to fit the norm a little bit (mostly because there's worse things going on). I hope that she can realize that gender-nonconformity wasn't the problem, but the lack of identity is, and that she has to find her identity herself other than rely on society to tell her who she is.

[wastelandroses]

El Hopper - a number, a letter, a poem

from Mia Hollow

Survivor by Jonathan Gillespie

1987 by Paul Guest

from Ryan O'connel