#elhokar is trying his best

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Stormlight Fights...That DON'T Involve Kaladin

I wanted to do an overall “top fights” list but I found that were all, uh, just Kaladin. So Kaladin’s best fights will be saved for a future post, probably, but for now--let’s give some love for those epic fights that DON’T involve our most dramatic hero.

[SPOILERS FOR ALL OF STORMLIGHT ARCHIVES!]

10: Adolin (and Renarin!) vs. the Thunderclast [Oathbringer]

This one makes the Top 10 for me mostly because of how cool it must have been in theory...although tragically we never do actually get to see Renarin fight the Thunderclast. I mean, Adolin's part is still very cool--gotta love the one guy without Radiant powers nevertheless trying to fight a giant stone monster from ages past. And then Renarin comes and defeats it off-screen, and that is cool enough to make this list even though we don't see it.

#9: Moash vs. Leshwi [Oathbringer]

This is such a short fight, and it probably wouldn't make the Top 10 for most people...but I thought it was cool. We have Moash facing off against a Fused--one of the first Fused we ever see--with a Shardblade, only to realize that he can't beat her with that weapon, so he grabs a simple spear instead (my heart!). Then he gets lashed to the sky...but pulls her with him and stabs her in the chest. And so he kills her, and Lewshi being Leshwi, she's like, "Okay. You're legit and I like you." So kind of a cool character-building moment for both of them!

#8: Adolin & Dalinar & Elhokar vs. the Chasmfiend [Way of Kings]

This fight didn't do it for me one a first read, because frankly I didn't care that much about the Dalinar chapters in Book 1 because I was always waiting to get back to Kaladin. But upon a reread and a re-reread, I liked it much more! Like so many early fights in Way of Kings, it felt like a sort of tutorial for how the powers work, here focusing on how Shardblades and Chasmfiends Work. You get to see Adolin & Dalinar work well together despite their conflicts, and you get to see Elhokar being, well, Elhokar.

#7: Adolin’s Duels [Words of Radiance]

Except for the last one, to keep this ranking Kaladin-free! But Adolin's pre-Whitespine-Uncaged duels were also very legit. Adolin is a great swordsman, and that makes him fun to watch (well, read about). And I loved the way that he had a different way to mess with his opponent in every duel, from unhinged battery to slowly picking apart the other guy's armor. It's great to see someone good at dueling get to do what they're best at.

#6: Szeth vs. an entire party [Way of Kings]

I'm referring to when Szeth assassinated King Hanavanar of Jah Keved...while the guy was holding a big dinner party. And while this scene is a little painful to read, since Szeth slaughters everyone while crying, if memory serves, you gotta be a little impressed by the way Szeth is able to kill an entire room of people, many of whom are armed with Shardblades or half-shards. At one point he even tosses his sword away and goes hand-to-hand with people holding deadly weapons and just slaughters them all, no problem. That guy is frightening good at murder.

#5: Navani vs. Raboniel vs. Moash [Rhythm of War]

Some fights are cool because they involve visually stunning moves or epic swordplay. Some are cool because they rip my heart into a million pieces. This is one of the latter! Navani killing Raboniel is gut-wrenchingly tragic but also so cool (the Fused are impossible to kill and yet, Navani does it)...and then Moash shows up. The confrontation between Moash and Navani was an emotional beat I didn't know I needed until it was happening...and listen, I am SUCH a sucker for self-sacrifice. Raboniel grabbing Moash to let Navani escape, even after Navani killed her? I'll never be over it.

#4: Szeth vs. Gavilar [Way of Kings]

I mean, this one is a true classic. It's the first fight we see, and serves as a basic tutorial on how stormlight and Shardblades work. We have Szeth in the opening of Way of King, going to assassinate Gavilar. He lashes people and things left and right. He's on the ceiling and the walls. He's burning souls and cutting holes in the building. He's desperately fighting Gavilar in what is probably Gavilar's only cool scene in all of the books. It's just classic.

#3: Shallan vs. An Entire Army [Oathbringer]

I'm not sure this would make a "Top Fights" list for very many people, but it is one of my personal favorites. This refers to the Battle of Thaylen Field (yes, Kaladin is in the background but that doesn't count as involvement), when Shallan, Veil, & Radiant summon hordes of alters to distract the Odium-crazed army. Not only does she fend off an entire army single-handedly (holy shit, Shallan), but she does so despite the fact that it is her being killed over and over again in thousands of forms. The image of her, Radiant, and Veil holding hands as she struggles to stay conscious is incredibly powerful to me. And Jasnah goes to help! A+ fight.

#2: Adolin & Maya vs. the Tukari [Rhythm of War]

This is one of my all-time favorite fights. It takes place in Shadesmar, when Adolin runs to help Notum who is being stabbed and beaten by a group of Tukari, Not only is it a heroic fight against grossly mismatched odds, which I always love, but it also demonstrates the bond between Maya & Adolin. And when the two of them fight back to back using the kata... *chef's kiss*

#1: Dalinar vs. Odium [Oathbringer]

I'm aware that Kaladin is, like, in the background here, but the actual conflict between Dalinar & Odium does not involve him. And this isn't a physical fight--there's no clashing of Shardblades or running on the ceiling--but damn if this fight doesn't hit hard. Dalinar fights with a book and with his whole soul, and he refuses to give up his pain or to absolve himself of the guilt of what he's done. This might be one of the most powerful moments in any book, so it gets the top spot here!

What are your guys' favorite non-Kaladin fights? Let me know in the comments, if you want!

[nevertheless-moving]

stormlight au number 35 (help me i'm lost in the sauce)

Jasnah, Dalinar, and Renarin (surviving Kholin Radiants) travel from End of World all the way to right after Gavilar's death.

Vengeance pact still happens, but plays out very differently. We don't need absolutely every man in the kingdom to join the army, alright Elhokar? And we're making sure Dalinar is there to accept their surrender, actually win in reasonable time frame and 'conquer' them (no Alethi want to live out there anyway, and as long as they send gemhearts in tribute we won't enslave them. actually elhokar, your sister wanted to talk to you about slavery—).

Honestly, just an excuse for:

A) Adolin to have a breakdown that his entire family has been replaced by voidbringers, before eventually accepting with relief that they're still his family, they've just become voidbringers, but its ok because he loves them and will protect their increasingly heretical actions with his life. Hugs his glowing red and green eyed little brother a lot.

Adolin: do I — should I also learn to read?

Jasnah: do you want to?

Adolin: not really, no.

Renarin: to be honest, it's probably for the best if you just focus on being, well, a good Vorin Alethi. One of us probably should be, if we don't have a desolation as a distraction.

Adolin: ok! sure! I can do that. Also thought id mention that if possible, I would personally appreciate *not* having a desolation.

Jasnah: it may prove necessary.

Adolin: I know, i know. Just thought I'd put my feelings out there.

Dalinar: and we'll need you to produce Kholin heirs. Neither Renarin or Jasnah are likely to, and I'm not remarrying a younger woman.

Adolin: Sounds good!

B) Kholin family to have way too strong a reaction to this random darkeyed surgeon in training when they visit Kharbranth, scaring the absolute shit out of said darkeyed surgeon. Adolin walks into a wall when he sees Kaladin. He doesn't even know about the Radiant thing, it's just that

C) Kaladin dresses really hot in this au. Ok. I lied. this is actually the main reason for this au. It — there's a whole chain of events. I – don't look at me like that. The character development works, alright?

A lot of it boils down to distracting people from groping the female medical trainees.

He realizes that breathing in a certain way, while it makes you focus better and move faster, it also makes you more...present somehow? people pay attention to you, for better or worse. Some of the ladies teach him that there are different ways to channel people's focus on you, if they're looking anyway.

And apparently, for the first few years Kharbranth medical students, light and dark eyed alike, have basically no protections from wealthy patients or Lighteyed chief's of staff who are a bit too interested in teaching you to use your safehand, and its not like Kaladin can challenge them to a duel - he doesnt know how to fight, and it would get him and the person hes trying to protect kicked out of the program. So much for honorable lighteyes being real.

But I mean. If wearing some eyeliner, and a gemstone in your hair, if taking your right glove off first after an exam, conspicuously leaving the left on while talking, if bending over to pick his clipboard up in a certain way... if it gets people to not focus on his friends...

...one could probably get pretty angsty with this concept, ngl.

The Stormlight understanding and oaths come in time. There might also be some Radiant Disguise Superhero hijinks, havent fully decided but it's not really a major stretch from canon to say that Kharbranth struggles with violent crime. Also Kaladin gets to learn about institutional racism in school. It's great. I have a lot of Kaladin thoughts but so does everyone in this au so its ok.

Kholins visit Kharbranth:

Jasnah: you've been moping for days. Is your new fixation of the week not responding to your advances?

Adolin: I don't want to talk about it

Dalinar: son, you've clearly been in a mood—

Adolin: look, I'm not — the individual is not suitable for my station, alright? I'm not courting someone I could never actually marry, because that would be stupid.

Jasnah: while it would complicate matters, you know your brother and I have plans to alter the alethi codes around eye color, considering they're clearly a crude derivative of radiant mythologization

Dalinar: I thought we agreed that was low on the priority list

Jasnah: You said that uncle, Renarin most certainly did not agree, and his arguments are sound

Adolin: He's just some surgeon, alright! He's not just darkeyed, he's a darkeyed man. I said I'll get over it! I always do.

Dalinar: ah.

Jasnah: ...did you say surgeon?

Adolin: Yes? Why?

Dalinar: why does it —

Jasnah: how did you meet?

Adolin: He was — he was with this group of women at a winebar, and he was dressed like – but it turned out he just goes to protect them from - and it was so — why are you asking me about this?

Dalinar: Oh! A darkeyed surgeon. Protecting, you say? He sounds...honorable.

Jasnah: Very honorable.

Adolin: He is! He volunteers at this house for injured soldiers, and you wouldn't believe he'd never been to war, I mean his spear Katas — he's – it's like he was born for it —

Dalinar: He sounds like a fine young man. Perhaps you should bring him to meet us.

Adolin: I — while I appreciate that father, I really do, I thought I was the one who was supposed to well. I mean my role in...all of this is to produce heirs and look proper, right?

Jasnah: Hm. when you put it it that way...

Dalinar: I mean, Navani and I might be able to...

Jasnah: Don't be ridiculous. I'm perfectly capable of producing a child, should it prove absolutely necessary,

Adolin: Jasnah?

Jasnah: Provided the man you're courting is of worthy quality.

Adolin: We're not — I haven't been courting! I didn't think it was an option! I don't even know if he's interested! From what I can tell he has people throwing themselves at his feet all the time!

Jasnah: An abnormally honorable darkeyed surgeon, natural warrior, magnetically charismatic personality...yes that might make a worthwhile addition to the family.

Dalinar: I can write to Elhokar at once, recommend that he and Aseuden —

Jasnah: Uncle we've been over this — this is exactly the sort of thing that led to me insisting you come with me on this trip! If we cripple his ability to lead—

Adolin: Are we — are we moving into the discussing the future part of the evening, because I can go guard the door—

Dalinar: wait, when you say produce a child, you don't mean through soulcasting, right?

Jasnah: I don't see why I should answer that question.

Adolin: Yeah, i'm just going to go guard the door now

[kaladinsspear]

🔥 for way of kings & words of radiance? (since those are the two that I've read haha)

(also wouldn't complain about more lokitty 👀👀👀 no pressure tho)

either way hope you have a good day/evening/insert correct time of day <3

Ohh! I actually have a really spicy opinion. I went back and forth about sharing because I don't want to get soul cast to smoke in a back alley, but this is a work of fiction, and I have seen some truly rancid takes so hopefully anyone who sees this wont hate me personally, just my bad takes. (My blog is generally not spoiler friendly, but this does not have spoilers past WoR I promise.)

Well, here goes...

Amaram is a lot more nuanced than the fandom makes him out to be

That's not to say that I agree with his actions or that he is a good man! It's just that we have other examples of characters being forgiven for similar actions, and I don't see any reason to believe his entire persona is an act. Again, I'm not defending his actions. He is a coward and a manipulator and I would probably hate him if I ever met him, I just don't think he is irredeemable or the worst example of evil in the books.

As we see with Moash in WoR, being a shardbearer is a landed title and holds significant political and physical power. As Adolin notes, you cant imprison a shardbearer, he does what he wants or you kill him. If you can.

Shards are not just glory, shards are vast and poorly checked power, and Amaram had no way of knowing that Kaladin is a main character.

I promise this is relevant, but let me switch gears here for a moment. A lot of people believe that Moash was justified in wanting to kill Elhokar. At the very minimum, most people wouldn't have been particularly angry if Moash had succeeded. As Elhokar himself points out, his sin is not wickedness, its incompetence. Incompetence that gets people killed.

One of the questions asked by WoR is how much responsibility Elhokar holds for the consequences of his incompetence, especially when he really is trying his best. Moash answers that Elhokar holds 100% responsibility for the consequences of his incompetence, and that removing Elhokar to make way for somebody more competent is justified. Moash is a fandom beloved character, even if the fandom broadly (though, not universally) disagrees with his decisions.

Amaram had no reason to believe that Kaladin would stick to his decision that he didn't want the shards, and every reason to believe that a random country foot soldier would wield that power incompetently. It was a cruel choice to make, but it was the kind of brutal logic that Jasna is praised for.

Personally, I believe that Amaram and Moash are both wrong, and Amaram was even more wrong than Moash. Elhokar had already demonstrated that his incompetence was dangerous, whereas Amaram made the choice to kill several men in order to avoid risk. As risk averse as I am, I still name Amaram a coward. My point is not to defend Amarams actions, it is to say that they are much more nuanced than a simple lust for shards, and reducing them to a lust for shards really diminishes the impact of Kaladin swearing the 3rd ideal. If you can understand Moash and Graves, you can understand Amaram, and that is what makes Kaladins decision to defend Elhokar so powerful.

You could also say that Amaram stole a second shard, but again, there is more nuance there. Amaram believed that the hidden blade belonged to a herald. He wasn't stealing it so he could have 2 blades, he was trying to get it back so he could return it to the herald it belongs to.

Trying to reignite the desolations and return the heralds was stupid, naive, and arrogant, but the fandom treats that almost as an afterthought. His scheming was ultimately ineffective because other forces were at work.

So yeah. That is my hot take. Amaram is shit, but he is vehemently hated for things that other characters are forgiven for, and the inconsistency bugs me. Also, very few people seem to acknowledge the reflection of Amaram in Moash and I wish they would.

(I am always ready to share kitty pictures! I'll make a separate post for Lokitty though, that way people can look at pretty kitty pictures without having to think about Amaram, haha)

[tbookblurbs]

Words of Radiance - Brandon Sanderson (Stormlight Archives #2)

5/5 - delicious tension and character interactions; everybody grows; i forgot how absolutely awful Shallan's backstory is, poor girl

Spoilers below!

I love that in each of these novels, Sanderson is dedicated to discussing what holding to your choices and your oaths actually means. What does it mean for a character to promise two people contradictory things? What does it mean for someone to live a lie? How does someone come to terms with their traumatic past, even knowing that they were choosing from a series of bad options? I cannot express how much I love a thinking novel! And not in the sense of "Is killing people wrong? You decide" because frankly that's tired.

Anyway, I really appreciate how much depth that Shallan has in this novel. Explaining her backstory turns her from a character who can be somewhat annoying at times with a dark past, into someone who's actively trying to make the world a brighter place for her own sanity. It also reveals a hardness, an edge to her that is certainly present in WoK, but nowhere near as pronounced. One of the things that my sister and I have remarked on while reading Sanderson's books is that, while his romances are sometimes a little weird (not you Shallan/Adolin, never you), his female characters are almost always superbly written. Shallan is allowed to be competent and feminine while still being annoying and a disaster and too ready to insult people at all times.

Kaladin's arc is one that is incredibly near and dear to my heart, and while I love him and think he can do know wrong (yes, even in the times when he is very much doing wrong), I just love seeing everyone else think he's insufferable and annoying and mouthy! He's a little bitch and I love him for that! They put him in prison, made him depressed and willing to commit regicide, and then he turned around and said (to Elhokar's face), "Let's be clear on this Elhokar, I hate you and you're a bad king and not a great person and also a whiny brat (the tirade continues for a while) but I'll protect you anyway." That's character-of-all-time behavior.

I also adore the way that Adolin/Kaladin and Shallan/Kaladin develop a working relationship over the course of this book. They go from reluctant coworkers into best worsties into actual friends.

[gentrychild]

Since you're limiting I will only send two: an au where Adolin gets to stab more people who deserve it

1 - At some point, between his father seemingly losing his mind, Sadeas being Sadeas and his tailor retiring, Adolin's brain says "ENOUGH! KNIFE TIME!" and every time someone starts to get stupid around him, he stabs them. Elhokar wants to arrest him but an ardent (or whatever is the English name for priest on Roshar) tells him that during the time of the first king, heroes were blessed with the Stormfather in knowing who to stab, and how this is actually a good thing, and how in any case, no one will manage to wrestle that knife from Adolin anyway. It's actually bullshit because the ardent is tired of the corruption in this country and wants to see what a privileged boy with a knife will do about it.

2 - Sadly, he doesn't manage to get to Sadeas but when Kalinar starts to say stupid things like "I trust Sadeas with my life.", Adolin stabs his father in the shoulder. Then, on the battlefield, he stabs Venli, saving my girl Eshonai.

3 - Then, during the very epic duel and when Kaladin says "Hey, I want to kick Amaram's ass!" and Elhokar throws a fit, Adolin throws his knife from the other side of the arena and it stabs Elhokar's foot.

4 - Adolin calmly asks Amaram why he didn't help him while four people were trying to kill him. Amaram starts saying a good excuse and screams because Adolin's just stabbed him. Kaladin, who is dangerously close from liking this lighteye, says what Amaram did to him. Everyone goes "That's impossible! He's lying!" and Amaram is "Of course I didn't do AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH-" because Adolin now has stabbed him through the chest. No more Amaram. Adolin and Kaladin are now best friends.

5 - After stabbing Sadeas, Adolin puts down the knife and says that he will try to calm down with the stabbing. Renarin immediately picks up the knife, a mad glint in his eyes.

+ 1 - For the entire AU, the Blackthorn is running after his sons and asking them to please, not stab people. Many people are convinced is the rosharian equivalent to karma.

[shouldprobablybereading]

I was planning to reread some of the interludes in wor and naturally ended up reading far more including the prologue

And it’s really interesting that once jasnah realizes there is an assassin and she is in danger, her first thought is to run get dalinar and then sadeas once she remembers that he is drunk (I’m assuming gavilar is not included since he’s the one being assasinated)

Despite being besties with both kholin brothers for a really long time sadeas doesn’t exactly have the best relationship with their children. So it’s interesting that she considers it so natural to run to him for help. He wasn’t supposed to bring his plate so if that was the only reason then elhokar would be a better option.

This made me think, didn’t sadeas and elhokar hang out a fair amount back in wok. With I think Lalai (or at least someone from house sadeas) acting as his scribe. Add in that dalinar and sadeas where originally united in their will to protect elhokar, although the validity of that dalinar statement is questionable. And I’m wondering how close their relationship is supposed to be.

Are gavilars children just closer to sadeas overall? Apart from the fact that he insults renarin openly, adolin straight up hates the man. If not obvious by the fact that he killed him. But he also has no frame of reference for sadeas and dalinar being friends and is continually baffled when they interact

It might be that they’re younger or the fact that sadeas and dalinar mostly hung out on the battlefield while gavilar and sadeas would have hung out at home in kholinar. I also doubt jasnah actually thinks well of or was close to sadeas, given everything about her character. She at least dislikes the person connected to sadeas who scribes for elhokar, since dalinar brings it up to convince her to come back to the shattered plainns.

I’m not really trying to say anything here it’s just interesting to think about all of these character dynamics that we never get to see

[koravelliumavast]

Random eighties song I think cosmere characters would cry to

Adolin: he would cry to Time after Time by Cyndi Lauper on an emotional night after Evi died. Renarin is there with him and they’re comforting each other.

Kaladin would cry to Can’t Fight This Feeling by REO Speedwagon after the honor chasm. This or Another One Bites the Dust as he recollects the bridge four members who’ve died.

Wax would cry to Faithfully by Journey (yes again) after Lessie’s death(s) while Steris comforts him as best she can.

Ok so this might sound basic but Shallan would cry to Running Up That Hill by Kate Bush as she goes off on her own to save her house or after killing her parents.

Vin would cry to Holding Out for a Hero by Bonnie Tyler after Kelsiers death but then it would be some kind of montage thing where she’s going to kill the lord ruler and it would be epic

After the time Dalinar and Adolin almost died, even though they were alive, Renarin cried to Boys Dont Cry by The Cure alone in his room.

Susebron and Siri would cry together to I Want to Know What Love Is by Foreigner after they were both safe after the Revolution at the end of Warbreaker. They would share that tender emotional music together

Navani would cry to Under Pressure by Queen as she’s trying to figure out the fabrials stuff in rhythm of war.

Kelsier would lie and say that he doesn’t cry but then cried a little after finding Marsh “dead” and also cries about Mare while he’s alone to Faithfully by Journey.

Dalinar would cry over Evi to And So It Goes by Billy Joel before seeing the nightwatcher. He keeps it under wraps because emotions? In my Vorin men? Not under my roof.

After becoming the Elantrian Zombie, Raoden would cry to Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds as he thinks about Sarene not being able to know that he’s not actually really dead and that he’s alive.

Jasnah would cry to Fade to Black by Metallica while in Shadesmar. Not because of sadness but because she’s losing hope. She’s in there for like a whole book.

(It May not be an eighties song) but Bohemian Rhapsody is a great Wayne song with his trauma and everything.

Elhokar would cry to Hurts So Good To by John Mellencamp while in Kholinar.

Vivenna would cry to Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks while she’s on the run and hiding from the mercenaries. It becomes her comfort song and is humming it in later events in the book.

While being the assassin in white Szeth would cry to Break My Stride by Matthew Wilder as all he wants is his murderous stride to be broken.

Marasi would cry to Who Wants to Live Forever by Queen as she watches Miles get shot the many many times that he does.

Also that same song could be with the Kandra purposefully ripping their spikes out to kill themselves.

Sarene’s song would be The Show Must Go On by Queen as she learns about Raodens not-death/death.

When Rlain and Venli reunite after thinking that all the other singers were dead, Radio Ga Ga by Queen is playing and they’re crying.

Kenton would cry to Free Falllin by Tom Petty on his retconned/anachronistic boombox when he realizes that all the other sand masterells are dead and he’s like the only one left

Should I do a part two?

[supreme-leader-stoat]

Who do you think will be Odium's Champion?

Honestly? Dunno for sure, but I've given thought to all the various candidates I've seen put forward though, plus a few thoughts of my own. Rhythm of War spoilers ahoy.

Szeth is my dark horse candidate for the whole thing, and I haven't really seen anyone else suggest him. He's supposedly the primary flashback/viewpoint character for Book 5, dude's sanity is tenuous at the best of times, Nightblood is a complete game changer, and the poor guy's bound to get put through the wringer after witnessing whatever Unmade cult nonsense is going down in Shinovar. The only limiting factor is his oath to Dalinar, so I think everything's going to come down to how strong his Honor is.

Dalinar himself is out entirely unless he pulls off some weird Bondsmith shell game at the last minute to ensure Odium loses, but I kind of doubt that.

Vyre is probably the most easily controlled candidate for champion, but the whole blindness thing would be a massive detriment, since the damage seems to be burned in on a Cognitive or even Spiritual level.

Gavinor would definitely be the tricky way to go, and there might be a death rattle backing it up, but the big limiting factor there is that it has to be a willing champion, and I just don't see that happening. I've seen people say that Odium might somehow play of his desire to avenge Elhokar, but eh. If this does happen, I think we'll see the aforementioned Bondsmith shell game, with Dalinar changing which champion is connected to which Shard.

El actually seems the most likely to me after Szeth, but we really just don't know much about the guy. All we know is he's some bigwig for the Fused but also outside their conventional hierarchy on account of being a heretic, replaces his carapace with metal, apparently can't hear the Rhythms (possible connection weirdness that could give advantage vs a Bondsmith?), is fascinated by humans, and was a/the previous Vyre.

I think that after Dalinar, Odium wanted Kaladin as his champion, which is why he went so far to try to break him during RoW. And I think Vyre figured this out too, which is why he was so dead-set on seeing Kaladin dead; it was twisted into something monstrous by his own betrayal and Odium's influence, but some part of him didn't want to see Kaladin become Odium's puppet. He just never expected Kaladin to take a third option and start overcoming his personal demons, because he himself wasn't able to.

I think there's a very, very slim chance that the Shardholder himself is going to enter the fray. He notes that Dalinar accidentally left some sort of loophole, and i think that might have something to do with Dalinar's planning to be his own champion, which would set precedent. The limiting factor here though is that Odium is scared of unchained Bondsmiths in general and also thinks that Dalinar has been in cahoots with Ishar for a while now, so he's probably very hesitant to expose himself like that.

[isdalinarhot]

I posted 2,348 times in 2022

That's 2,050 more posts than 2021!

485 posts created (21%)

1,863 posts reblogged (79%)

I tagged 1,540 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#luke.txt - 433 posts

#purple dragon jungle juice - 164 posts

#mr sexy - 95 posts

#hey look an ask - 44 posts

#ssp - 36 posts

#greatest hits - 26 posts

#tlm spoilers - 23 posts

#renarinposting - 23 posts

#dalinar - 22 posts

#kowt spoilers - 21 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#man it’s weird having enough interaction with my mutuals to have to give a heads up when i’m gonna be gone. haven’t had to do that in years

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I love the absolute zero positive emotions anyone in the fandom has towards Gavilar. Like there are people who really fucking hate Moash but there are a ton of people who love him too (especially on tumblr). All the wlw on my dash wanna get with Raboniel. There are characters that have never done anything positive ever like Sadeas, but at least he’s fun to hate. Gavilar though? Nobody gives a shit about him. The people who have even a smidgeon of opinion about him are like god damn i hate the way he treated Navani and then move on. He is just the boringest guy in the cosmere and what little personality he does have is him being a dickhead

354 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#4

I hope in a modern au Navani’s relationship to technology is like. everyone in the whole extended Kholin family goes to Navani when they have computer or phone questions and sometimes it’s like Renarin having a very specific bug in his laptop that he wants Navani to look at and sometimes it’s Dalinar going gemheart how do I use email

432 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

#3

Kholins ranked by their willingness and ability to carry my groceries on the long walk from the bus stop to my apartment

Gavilar: would carry my groceries but only because he views me as weak and beneath him. He is doing this to exert power and to flex. 6/10

Navani: would take half of my groceries because “it’s fair that way” but my half would be the half with a gallon of milk in it. Fuck off. 4/10.

Dalinar: depends on the era. Blackthorn era Dalinar would carry my groceries to show off his sick muscles. Bondsmith era Dalinar would carry my groceries because the way of kings probably has a parable about Nohadon carrying groceries to Urithiru or some shit. At any rate, he’s carrying my groceries. 10/10

Evi: would carry my groceries in a heartbeat. Would also fall over from the weight in a heartbeat. She’s trying her best though. Love you Evi. 10/10

Adolin: Adolin has the kind helpful attitude of his mother and the giant strong muscles of his father. He is perfectly engineered to carry groceries and I’ll even let him try a banana afterwards. 12/10

Renarin: Renarin would not actively carry my groceries let’s be real but he would take the bags from me for a handful of seconds while I stop to catch my breath. 5/10

Jasnah: Jasnah would give me a lecture on self reliance and not help and I would be like yes ma’am right away ma’am. 1/10

Elhokar: Elhokar would not be any help at all I would be like hey can you carry my milk and he would be like I Must Become A Better King…,, For My People…… For The Windrunner…… and I’d be like ok! It would be very funny though. 2/10

Aesudan: Aesudan would steal my groceries. 0/10

Gavinor is 5. 0/10

465 notes - Posted May 22, 2022

#2

what is the zellion sweep. i have no clue what it is. help

lets set the scene. its october 2022. tensions are high in the fandom due to a maelstrom of events. we are all at our wits end. i, personally, am going through one of the worst periods of my whole life for non cosmere reasons. we're all tired. we're fucking exausted

and then. i get an email. from the kickstarter. theres one more stretch goal left to reveal. i wonder who it is? kelsier? evi? elhokar? then i read the email. "brandon said "let's add zellion." we are proud to announce our final miniature will be zellion!"

who. the fresh fuck. is zellion.

i am at my wits end, and so is alanamy the-tumblr-user-formerly-known-as-moash, currently tumblr user zellionsweep. they make some silly posts about who the fuck is zellion. i also make some posts like who the fuck is zellion. alanamy zellionsweep tags these posts #ZELLIONSWEEP as a reference to the #MORBIUSSWEEP meme from a few months back.

from there, the lore begins. i make silly posts about zellion's unrequited love for szeth. i make a post claiming that he and dalinar were once lovers. others assert that he has no bitches, he gets no pussy, he receives no cock. he is bisexual. he is biphobic. he is a menace. he's dating moash now. he's secretly kelsier, no, evi, no, aesudan, no, fused dalinar. he's like the wind, he's everywhere and nowhere. nonsensical headcanons are posted under the hashtag #zellionsweep. tumblr user kaladins-simp-list begins compiling a list of all the zellion lore. it is very inconsistent. we all have our own unique interpretations of the character.

zellionsweep escapes containment and ends up on r/cremposting. i find out how many of my tumblr mutuals have reddit accounts. people start flying dangerously close to post limit. we are fucking insane. we needed this. after weeks and weeks of moashcourse and syladin and mistborn era 2 discussion and the ever looming threat of cosmere adaptations and stress and frustration, we finally get to let loose and clown on brand sand for the stupidest decision he has ever made, which is entrusting us with a brand new guy and not telling us anything about him and expecting everyone to be normal about it.

they still shouldve given elhokar a figurine though.

519 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just know that in a modern au Dalinar sends Kaladin inspirational quote graphics from Facebook because he knows Kaladin has depression and he always sends them with a caption like “Thought of you………… made me smile. 🙂 Life Before Death Soldier………….” and Kaladin thinks it’s genuinely sweet even if the corny quotes do not offer him any solace but the SECOND Adolin finds out about it he’s like. Kaladin you HAVE to send me all of these this is the funniest shit ever

527 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cosmerelists]

My Top 10 Favorite Cosmere Characters

Today is my birthday, so it's time for a purely self-indulgent birthday list! I thought I'd just share my own personal Top 10 Cosmere characters, which will just prove once and for all that I am SUCH a Stormlight girlie.

[Spoilers for Stormlight, Mistborn Era 1 & Era 2 and Shadows for Silence]

#10: TenSoon

I think I almost like TenSoon better in Era 2, when he's, like, an immortal quasi-divine figure who also happens to be a big, fluffy puppy. I like it when characters from different eras interact, so I was quite taken by having Wax meet TenSoon. I was also a fan of TenSoon back in the original series though, especially as his loyalty to Vin developed. And I'm one for a tragic sacrifice, so the kandra trying to kill themselves to avoid getting taken over by Ruin--that was a powerful moment (and I'm big fan of the fact that they did not, in fact, die. It was still a heroic sacrifice!).

#9: Silence

It's hard to say how much my love for Silence is part & parcel with my love for Threnody which, for whatever reason, is my favorite Cosmere planet. I like how Silence interacts with Threnody--the sheer horror and fatalism of living right on the edge of that forest, being a mother and a bounty hunter, keeping your dead grandmother in a back room...

#8: Adolin

I think Adolin is one of those characters I like because of his relationships with other characters. Especially Maya--I really love the relationship Adolin has with his sword, and when he and Maya fight back to back using the kata...that's one of my favorite scenes. I think he and Shallan are cute, and that he and Kaladin are cute, and that the three of them are a triad in their hearts. Also, and this will be a theme throughout this list, I love competent fighters and good fight sequences, so Adolin's duels really put him near the top for me.

#7: Navani

Rhythm of War really made me love Navani, I think. And not only because of that unhealthy yet somehow alluring relationship she had with Raboniel. We'll see throughout this list that I just like really competent characters, and Navani is such a smart and cool inventor of stuff, from watches to pain management devices to flying ships. And knowing what she went through with Gavilar and how she was made to think she wasn't smart or worthwhile only to have Dalinar and Raboniel recognize that yes she was smart and good at things and now she's cracked the code to make god-killing weapons and has bonded the Sibling and she's just so cool.

#6: Sazed

Honestly, I really love Sazed both before and after his ascension. I heard that people aren't always fans of Harmony, but I find him just as fascinating, if not more so--the idea of trying to balance such discordant shards in one being. But Sazed is, I think, my favorite character from the Mistborn Era 1 books. He is so sincere and smart and competent and deals with so much shit all the time. And I think he's doing his best.

#5: Jasnah

Like, Jasnah is just cool. She's so polished. So competent. So deadly. So smart. I think seeing Jasnah through Shallan's eyes for so long really made me respect and fear her as much as a reader can respect/fear a book character. That moment that she and Dalinar bonded over the book after Gavilar's death--very sweet. Kinda disappoited that we didn't get much with Jasnah & Elhokar--hard to remember they're siblings sometimes. In conclusion, I am both excited and scared to get more of her tragic backstory soon.

#4: Leshwi

Listen, I like cool fight sequences and enemies who bear a deep respect for each and duel a lot but never from a place of hatred. So, I was basically made to like Leshwi and how she interacts with Kaladin. But I also just like Leshwi's interactions with everyone. Leshwi and Moash? Awesome. "Hey you killed me once. Respect." Leshwi and Venli? Heck yeah. "I am slowly feeling you out and trying to see where your loyalties lie because they might intersect with mine." Once I am thrilled that Lewshi is joining the Listeners now. I want her to form a Radiant bond SO BAD.

#3: Steris

I seem to recall Brandon Sanderson talking about Steris as a character you don't like at first, but later you grow to love her. But if I remember correctly, I feel like I always liked Steris? Like yes, the marriage contract was a lot, but it was also so thorough and honest (and, honestly, funny). And then she just grew on me from there. As someone who makes a lot of lists, I also feel a kinship with Steris.

#2: Shallan

The first two times I read through the Stormlight Archives, I was all about Kaladin. But the third time, I really started to realize just how much I like the Shallan chapters. I think Shallan is a great character with a great arc--and I love the way she sort of grows into herself and her powers. Plus, I enjoy the slow reveal of how much she's already done--she already has a shardblade. And two spren bonds. And many murders under her belt. Quite the resume. And I really love Veil and Radiant, but especially Veil. The scene during the Oathbringer climax where she holds hand with her alters while constantly creating other alters to let them be killed legitimately makes me cry. She holds back a whole army by herself! She's amazing!

#1: Kaladin

Kaladin was my favorite character pretty much from the very moment I started reading Cosmere books (I started with Way of Kings), and he has never been dethroned in my heart. First, there's the simple fact that I love good fight scenes and fantasy heroics and people who gain the power they need at the very last second...and Kaladin does those things like every other chapter. But also, Kaladin is just such a good character. I love how he's not just a shallow fantasy hero--he has depression, and invents therapy, and struggles with guilt, and doesn't always make good choices. Sometimes the Kaladin chapters are tough--Rhythm of War was downright painful sometimes with just how much Kaladin was suffering--but even so. I will always look forward to the Kaladin parts the most, and like many, I deem Kaladin my #1 Cosmere Blorbo.

[preservationandruin]

Words of Radiance Part Five Part One

We’re in the home stretch! Let’s do this thing!

Dalinar sets off on his expedition, Amaram gets FUCKING OWNED, I proceed to go off on a fucking rant because Amaram talked about honor one time too many, Shallan outs herself and Jasnah as Radiants, Rlain comes back, Elhokar’s Incompetence Rant pt.1, the Parshendi start singing a very ominous song, I’m gay for Radiants ,and Kaladin has a revelation. 

This part is titled Winds Alight and we have the points of view of basically everyone--Kaladin, Shallan, Dalinar, Adolin, and Wit. Let’s get this show on the road, gang!

Our epigraphs here are from the Diagram, which is interesting.

Kaladin is beating himself up for killing Syl, which, good. He deserves that. He also is getting toward the Weeping, which is awful for him--it’s when his Seasonal Affective Disorder kicks in hardcore. He gets Lopen and they go to watch the army leave. Lopen suggests that to get Syl back he buy her something nice, which is just so...Lopen. I love him.

Kaladin also realizes Dalinar’s force is what he always dreamed of following into battle. It’s the army he fantasized about as a child. And Sebarial, of all people, has joined Dalinar into the fight.

Hell. Yes.

And ooooooh loooook, Amaram is coming in his fancy gold knight radiant cloak with his fancy shardblade and fancy armor and yes I am still and will always be bitter as fuck about Amaram in general. Amaram is like oooOOOOOOooooo we should SEND SEBARIAL AWAY he’s UNTRUSTWORTHY and wow pot, kettle, black??

And of course, Aladar comes too. Meanwhile, Ialai points out that she and Sadeas could have a coup. Sadeas literally would--he would kill Elhokar just for fucking power. He just doesn’t think he has to.

God, he’s a waste of investiture.

Also, Ialai is the one who had an assassin with the bridges--it’s her fault that Kaladin and Shallan pitched into the chasm. Which let Shallan figure out where the Oathgate was.

NICE GOING IALAI.

Anyway, Aladar was one of Sadeas’ biggest supporters. And he finally can’t convince himself to support Sadeas when Dalinar is out there doing the right thing. Aladar and Dalinar even have a moment where Aladar is like listen, you know I’m not some shining knight, I have blood on your hands, and Dalinar’s like, well, I’m not either, but we’re what we’ve got.

Amaram is like ooOOOOoooOOOO it would be SO COOL if we could WIN THIS ALL ON OUR OWN we shoudn’t WORK TOGETHER DAL and Dalinar’s like, that’s bullshit. And then he sees Kaladin and asks Amaram to come with him.

God, the first time I read this I was entirely made out of anxiety.

Anyway, Kaladin is seeing the men off, and they’re yelling at him for walking around on a badly injured leg.

“I thought,” Kaladin noted, “That I was your commander.” “Nah, can’t be,” Teft said, “because our commander would be smart enough to stay in bed.” “And eat much stew,” Rock said. “I left you stew to eat while I am gone.”

I LOVE BRIDGE FOUR

Also they see Dalinar coming and Rock is like wow now you’re definitely screwed. Also I would like to note that all of bridge four doesn’t trust Amaram.

Also, Moash was left to guard the King, and Kaladin nearly dies upon realizing that. And then we get the exchange that causes my soul to ascend from this mortal plain.

“Amaram,” Dalinar said, waving for the highlord to step up. “You told me that you’d never seen this man before arriving here on the Shattered Plains. Is that true?” Kaladin met the eyes of a murderer. “Yes,” Amaram said. “What of his claim that you took his Blade and Plate from him?” Dalinar asked. “Brightlord,” Amaram said, taking Dalinar by the arm, “[insert bullshit sanctimony that I don’t want to type out] But his allegations regarding me are obviously preposterous.” Dalinar nodded to himself, as if this were all expected. “I believe an apology is due.” Kaladin struggled to remain upright, his leg feeling weak. So this would be his final punishment. Apologizing to Amaram in public. A humiliation beyond all others. “I--” Kaladin began.” “Not you, son,” Dalinar said softly.

Not you, son. Not you, son. Not you, son.

Not you, son.

I shit you not, the first time I read that I yelled aloud in the middle of class. This is the single most evocative sentence in the book for me--and it’s three words. But it flips your perception of what Dalinar’s been doing on it’s head, cuts through the building anxiety like a knife, and fuCKS UP AMARAM ROYALLY.

Dalinar had been laying an intricate trap for Amaram that required him to be a cheating, lying backstabbing son of a bitch--and Amaram, being a cheating lying backstabbing son of a bitch, fell for it completely. Dalinar is trusting.

That doesn’t mean he’s stupid.

“Sometimes good men must die so that greater goals must be accomplished.” THAT’S THE BULLSHIT THAT YOU ALL ARE PULLING, ISN’T IT, AMARAM. SONS OF HONOR MY FUCKING ASS. YOU DON’T KNOW HONOR FROM YOUR OWN SHIT. STOP SPITTING SANCTIMONY, YOU MURDERER. YOU DON’T EVEN FUCKING REGRET IT. YOU THINK YOU’RE THE SECOND COMING OF SOME FUCKING HERO WHEN YOU’RE JUST A CRAVEN, POWER-GRUBBING BASTARD WHO CAN’T POSSIBLY COMPREHEND THAT A SLAVE MIGHT BE MORE IMPORTANT IN THE SCHEME OF THINGS THAN YOU ARE. I WANT CULTIVATION TO LEARN THAT YOU’RE USING THE NAME OF HER DEAD PARTNER TO CONDONE CRAVEN, DISHONORABLE, CORRUPT BULLSHIT AND I WANT HER TO TEAR YOU APART. BETTER YET, I WANT YOU TO DIE KNOWING FOREVER THAT KALADIN IS MORE CRUCIAL TO THE SALVATION OF ROSHAR THAN YOU ARE, AND THAT THE HERALDS ABANDONED YOU. HONOR IS DEAD, AMARAM. HONOR IS DEAD AND YOU DO NOTHING.

SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE KILLED KALADIN’S MEN. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE LIED. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T HAVE WATCHED WHILE SADEAS TRIED TO CRIPPLE ADOLIN AND RENARIN. SOMEONE WHO KNEW WHAT HONOR WAS WOULDN’T STEAL AND KILL FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL POWER.

YOU CAN’T SAY SHIT ABOUT HONOR, MERIDAS AMARAM. YOU AREN’T WORTHY TO EVEN TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE CLEARLY, YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT MEANS.

um. anyway. the plot. that thing. I should probably get back to it.

“Thank you,” Kaladin said to Dalinar, “For believing me.” “I do listen sometimes, soldier,” Dalinar said. “Now go back to camp and get some rest.”

GOOD DAD, BEST DAD.

Also, Dalinar notes that holding a Shardblade feels wrong to him. Those Radiant Senses are tingling.

The Diagram notes that Szeth could possibly put extra strain on people who are exploring the Nahel bond, and lead to them becoming Radiants sooner. Which kind of happens, but not in the exact way they think--it’s keeping Kaladin away from Dalinar--and near Elhokar--that causes the problem.

Whoops.

Shallan and Adolin are flirting, by which I mean Adolin is teasing her for having a slow horse and she’s threatening to remove his toes.

There are further hints of a burgeoning love triangle that I am deliberately ignoring because I refuse to even think about that happening. No. Don’t you dare, Brandon. And Shallan finally actually gets a copy of Words of Radiance.

Also it mentions “women who could melt a stone with a touch” and a) DUSTBRINGERS PLEASE TELL ME MORE and b) I’m. gay.

Also Navani offers to help Shallan with her work, realizing that she should have offered much sooner. Also we get a wonderful line from Navani: “My little Jasnah, insufferable and wonderful.”

Shallan also tells Navani that Jasnah was a Surgebinder.

Kaladin is dealing with the Weeping. And Moash, in this chilling moment:

“Sometimes lives must be spent for the greater good,” Kaladin said. “Yes, exactly!” “That’s what Amaram said. In regards to my friends, whom he murdered to cover up his secrets.” “Well, that’s different, obviously. He’s a lighteyes.” Kaladin looked to Moash, whose eyes had turned as light a tan as those of any Brightlord. Same color as Amaram’s, actually. “So are you.”

Fuck, that’s a powerful Not So Different moment. Although Moash brushes it off and then leaves.

The diagram has an interesting fragment: “We must find one [honorblade] Can we make to use a truthless can we craft a weapon” So the diagram may have been behind Szeth being called Truthless. Yikes. He’s not going to like that.

Anyway, Shallan likes the Weeping, and is drawing Jasnah in one of her last moments--tired, terrified, in the cabin of the ship.

And Shallan tells Dalinar that she’s a radiant. By making a small image of Jasnah. This is just a deeply important moment. Dalinar then thinks to make Shallan lead them, and Shallan is like. hell no. nope. not me.

Dalinar just lead them yourself.

Dalinar stopped in place, and stared at her in surprise. Then he grunted, his face barely visible. “I see Jasnah in you.” Rarely had Shallan been given such a compliment.

And then they find a Parshendi body with red eyes. Yikes. And also, Rlain comes back! Well, Shen, but he’s Rlain, and he’s Bridge Four. Fuck yeah.

“Yes. [Eshonai] was my commander. But now...Sir, I have reason to believe that everyone I know...everyone I loved...has been destroyed, monsters left in their place. The listeners, the Parshendi, may be no more. I have nothing left...” “Yes you do,” Skar said from outside the ring of guards. “You’re Bridge Four.” Rlain looked at him. “I’m a traitor.” “Ha!” Rock said. “Is little problem. Can be fixed.”

I LOVE BRIDGE FOUR SO MUCH.

Also Shallan is doing scouting and apparently Dalinar was just like “Get Shallan to come back and if she doesn’t tell her that I’ll send Adolin to cart her back over his shoulder” and Shallan is like “nice sounds hot anyway, science”

Anyway, Shallan finding the Oathgate is the only real retreat plan that the army has, so like, no pressure.

Kaladin is dealing with the Weeping and his injury, and getting through the training ground while limping. Also, when he gets back, Elhokar is there, waiting for him--aaaaand Elhokar is drunk.

Wonderful. Also I love how every time they describe Elhokar they point out that he has a big nose.

So we get Elhokar Inadequacy Rant no.1. Elhokar is sharp--he notices that there is a pattern of heroism around Kaladin, and he also knows that he himself doesn’t have any success--he gives himself a brutal smackdown of his own flaws:

“When I try to be strong, I make a fool of myself. When I try to be merciful, people walk all over me. When I try to listen to counsel, it turns out I’ve picked the wrong men! When I try to do everything on my own, Dalinar has to take over lest I ruin the kingdom. How do people know what to do? Why don’t I know what to do? I was born to this office, given the throne by the Almighty himself! Why would he give me the title, but not the capacity?”

Like, he’s going about this wrong, but god, this shit is fucking relateable. Elhokar does not have the personality of a good leader. But he can’t exactly not lead, becuase the kingdom still holds to the divine right of kings. So he grasps at straws, too uncertain of himself to make a solid choice one way or the other, too proud to admit his mistakes, craving flattery because it reassures him he’s not useless but knowing at the same time in his heart that it’s all a fucking lie.

Anyway, Kaladin refuses to teach him, and says he’s a bad king. Elhokar did ask. Also, Elhokar notes that when Kaladin came, the “shadows”--what Elhokar saw in mirrors and the corners of his eyes--left. Interesting. Very interesting.

The Diagram here mentions the Unmade and the fact that some of them can probably think.

With Dalinar, they’re about to actually join in battle with the Parshendi. Aladar freaks out because holy shit, Voidbringers, and Dalinar basically gives him a “get ahold of yourself” speech to get him to actually lead.

Okay, here’s a main difference between Dalinar’s viewpoint and Amaram’s. Dalinar is willing to sacrifice his army to stop the voidbringers, true. But he is only doing that because he is taking the same risk. He will lead that army because he wouldn’t ask them to go if he wasn’t at the lead, taking the same risk.

I’m going out on a fucking limb and saying that Amaram isn’t willing to go through what he put Kaladin through. Or what he did to Kaladin’s men. He thinks he’s too important to risk himself, and that’s why he’s such a sanctimonious ass.

Also, Dalinar gives impassioned speeches to Roion and Aladar, and then Sebarial is like where’s mine and Dalinar’s like you...can just go into the command tent and Sebarial is like Nice.

Time for another Good Dalinar Battle Speech: Yes, those are Voidbringers. Yes, we’re going to fight them. I don’t know what they can do. I don’t know why they’ve returned. But we came here to stop them.

I know you’re scared, but you have heard of my visions in the highstorms. In the warcamps, the lighteyes mocked me and dismissed what I’d seen as delusions. Well out there, you see proof that my visions were true! Out there, you see what I have been told would come!

I have been sent by the Almighty himself to save this land from another Desolation. I have seen what those things can do; I have lived lives broken by the Voidbringers. I’ve seen kingdoms shattered, peoples ruined, technology forgotten. I’ve seen civilization itself brought to the trembling edge of collapse.

We will prevent this! Today you fight not for the weath of a lighteyes, or even for the honor of your king. Today, you fight for the good of all men. You will not fight alone! Trust in what I have seen, trust in my words. If those things have returned, then so must the forces that once defeated them. We will see miracles before this day is out, men! We merely have to be strong enough to deserve them.

And then the Parshendi start singing, and it’s a completely new song that is more frenetic, and Rlain is freaking the fuck out. He says that Dalinar has to stop the song at all costs.

Back over to Kaladin. He’s wading through the training ground, which is now a small lake. He goes to seek out Zahel, who has strung up a hammock on lightning rods because he fears neither god nor man. As well he should--I mean, it’s Vasher. 

His metaphors remain hilarious. 

“Excellent deduction. Like fresh blue paint on a wall.” 

Anyway, Zahel asks what Kaladin wants. 

“Have you ever had to choose between two equally distasteful choices?”  “Every day I choose to keep breathing.”  “I worry something awful is going to happen. I can prevent it, but the awful thing...it might be best for everyone if it does happen.”  “Huh.”  “No advice?”  “Choose the option that makes it easiest for you to sleep at night. That’s what I wish I’d done.” 

This turns out to be the exact advice Kaladin needs to hear, tbh. He grabs a spear and goes to try to practice. He also starts literally yelling at the storm. And he realizes the rationale he’s using--”It’s right to remove the wounded limb. This is what we have to do, to stay alive” is the rationale that was used to kill Tien. 

And Kaladin realizes that for Dalinar, Elhokar is Tien. 

[worldwithinworld]

Kaladin has several motives when he considers assassinating Elhokar (justice, vengeance, hatred, patriotism, loyalty, prejudice, hope), and he doesn’t want to acknowledge the dishonorable reasons he has, so he projects those onto Moash:

“You don’t care about the country,” Kaladin snapped. “You just want to pursue your grudge.” (Chapter 46)

and

“I only agree,” Kaladin said, “because it’s for the best. For you, Moash, this is about revenge—and don’t try to deny it. I really think it is what Alethkar needs. Maybe what the world needs.” (Chapter 66)

Moash doesn’t deny that he wants revenge. However, Kaladin is wrong in saying that that is all Moash cares about. He has the same negative feelings that Kaladin has (and doesn’t want to claim), but he also genuinely believes he’ll be doing good by killing Elhokar. Look at how Moash responds the first time Kaladin accuses him of only acting out of a grudge:

“All right, fine. But Kaladin, did you notice? Graves treats all men the same, regardless of eye color. He doesn’t care that we’re darkeyed. He married a darkeyed woman. [...] One of his sons is even a one-eye. Graves doesn’t give a storm about what other people think of him. He does what is right.” (Chapter 46)

Moash has really bought into the vision Graves was selling. He admires Graves for the fairness, morality, and love for darkeyes he seems to have. Moash’s little speech on Graves’s goodness comes across as totally genuine to me, but it’s reasonable that other readers might have some doubt. Moash could just be saying what he thinks will convince Kaladin. However, Moash’s final scene in Words of Radiance makes it clear that Moash had been telling Kaladin his honest feelings about Graves. When Moash learns that Graves had ulterior motives for wanting to kill Elhokar, Moash is disenchanted and embarrassed:

I’ve been played for one of the ten fools, Moash thought, chin to his chest. And I don’t even know how. (Chapter 87)

If Moash had only cared about revenge, he wouldn’t have cared about his ally’s reasons for the assassination plot. Graves had convinced Moash that they were doing a great thing for Alethkar, and Moash is disappointed to learn that he was lied to.

[nyaladinstormblessed]

Something I think about a lot is how Moash is essentially Kaladin’s “ex” (you can think of it as his ex best friend or boyfriend). Moash didn’t just betray his trust by killing Elhokar, it was more than that. Kaladin trusted Moash with his secrets, the loss of Tien, his suicidal thoughts, and much much more probably.

I’m just stating things that are literally spoken in the books but what I’m getting at is this is basically why I absolutely adore chapter 12 so much. Kaladin has literally just been betrayed by his closest friend, feeling literally so shit he has a panic attack about it. But then, Adolin comes along and cheers up Kaladin by being supportive. I just really love how Adolin represents the opposite of what Moash is, where Moash is selfish and only cares about his own goals, Adolin rather cares way more for his friends by trying to see what they really need.

[sapphicspren]

THE KHOLINS, RANKED BY ME

welcome to my incredibly biased, emotion driven ranking of how much I like each Kholin. (I didn't include Shallan bc she is a recent addition)

Jasnah. I have two justifications for this; 1: I am very very gay and Shallan, also being gay, gives my brain lots of descriptions of how pretty and beautiful and perfect Jasnah is.

Navani!!! I actually hated Navani in WoK, but now she's my second favorite Kholin. She is badass and loving and smart and I love her arc in RoW (even if she does kind of create a weapon of mass destruction. It happens)

Adolin. He is golden retriever boy, ray of sunshine, we do not deserve him. It is physically impossible to not love Adolin. Unfortunately, he does not exude girlboss energy, and so is stuck in third place.

Renarin. Renarin doesn't get as much page time as he deserves!!! I want more Renarin! Big fan of the autism rep and his identity struggle. Plus, his Radiant powers are SO COOL and I want to learn more about them!

Evi. Eviiiiiiiiiii. She makes me cry. She did not deserve all the shit that happened to her and she was doing her best to be a good Alethi wife, and she was an incredible mother and I love her.

Dalinar. Yeah, he was an absolutely shitty person originally, but his willingness to accept his mistakes and try to make reparations and be better moving forward is inspiring to me.

Aesudan. I wish we saw more of her! I love her Alethi ambition and relationship with the Unmade. Aesudan novella WHEN.

Gavinor. baby. I have theories about him, but that’s for another post. For now, he’s very cute and has done nothing problematic (unlike most of my favorite Kholins)

Elhokar. I just feel like I would hate him in real life. Our personalities would clash SO MUCH and he’s annoying. OB Elhokar is fine I guess, but his self deprecation would get old very quickly.

And last but not least, the true crem of the crop (wow I am so funny), Gavilar. Ew. No one likes Gavilar, especially me after he disrespected/ abused Navani. The man had some good ideas, but I still hate him.

[moiraineswife]

Innocence Died Screaming - An Adolin & Jasnah Fic

I RETURN. I RETURN WITH EMOTIONAL KHOLINS TO MAKE YOU ALL EMOTIONAL TOO!!! ENJOY!!!!!!

Title: Innocence Died Screaming

Rating: T  Content warnings: mentions of accidental mother murder

Summary:  Set loosley pre-Rhythm of War. Jasnah requests some duelling training from her expert duelist cousin. Adolin sees it as a way to spend more time bonding with his cousin. He gets a little bit more than he bargained for when Jasnah calls him out as only Jasnah can for always putting himself down. They have a good heart to heart and I have Emotions.

Teaser:

'“Truthfully?” Adolin said, stalling for time.

“Always,” Jasnah said, with aching sincerity, because she was Jasnah.

“You suck,” Adolin replied bluntly, unable to find a fancier way of saying it to soften the blow.

Jasnah just smiled at that, then gestured at him, “Hence the reason you are here with me presently.”'

Link: AO3

Wit answered the door to Jasnah’s chambers with a flourish when Adolin knocked. Uncharacteristically, there was no quip. Probably because he’d seen Adolin bracing for one, and didn’t want to seem ‘predictable’. Though how anyone was supposed to predict someone like Wit was beyond him. 

“Jasnah, your beefy cousin has arrived to demonstrate the intricacies of hitting people with large metal sticks,” he announced to the room behind him where Jasnah was no doubt working. 

He made to sweep out after that declaration, but Adolin caught him by the arm and raised an eyebrow, “Beefy cousin?” he repeated, incredulous. 

“Well it couldn’t be handsome cousin, Adolin,” Wit replied smoothly, “That’s how I announce Renarin!” 

Adolin opened his mouth to reply to that, then closed it again, grinning, imagining Renarin’s face if that was, in fact, how Wit announced him. 

“What’s wrong with ‘Adolin’?” he asked instead, scratching his head. 

“Well it’s just so boring,” Wit said conversationally, lounging against the door and grinning at him. “Jasnah has a very difficult, taxing job,” he explained, with an almost conspiratorial air, “I need to seize any opportunity I can to inject a little humour into her life.” 

If rumours were to be believed, humour wasn’t the only thing he was injecting Jasnah with at the moment. 

Adolin didn’t say that. He did note, however, as his cousin approached them, that the two of them were alone, without a chaperone. 

That wasn’t entirely surprising. Jasnah had always just kind of done things her way. And she was a woman nearing her fortieth Weeping. But still. There were some rules you just shouldn’t bend, even if you were Queen.

Though Pattern wasn't exactly a model chaperone for me and Shallan, so I probably shouldn’t be judging Jasnah that harshly, he admitted ruefully to himself, grinning a little, then immediately hoping Wit hadn’t noticed.

Wit, fortunately, had eyes only for his queen at that moment. 

“Enjoy yourself, Brightness,” he was saying, waving an elegant hand at Jasnah, “Try not to hurt him too much.” 

He clapped Adolin on the shoulder, winking, then withdrew at a nod from Jasnah. 

Clearly his departing when Adolin arrived was a prearranged agreement between the two of them.

Adolin wasn’t entirely sorry about that. He liked Wit, might even be storming fond of him at this point, but he would be more relaxed without him in earshot of his every word. 

“Cousin,” Jasnah said, nodding to him in greeting. 

“Jasnah,” Adolin returned, grinning and stepping forwards to embrace her. 

All of them had had to get used to more hugs from him in the recent months. His father had been the one who had always rebuked him for it, while his mother had always encouraged him. Given recent events, he found himself more inclined towards listening to his mother. 

Besides, since losing Elhokar, he’d had his eyes opened to how precious his family was. He had loved his cousin, and his king, but he hadn’t felt as close to him as he’d wanted. 

He’d felt similarly towards Jasnah, and was determined not to let that happen again. She was his family. And as his family, she got a hug when he saw her. And had been forced to get used to him dropping by more often to spend time with her and get to know her properly. She seemed more comfortable with that than the hugs.

She was used to them by now though, and tolerated it, awkwardly patting him on the back to indicate she’d had enough of his affection for the day. He drew back, grinning. 

“Shall we get started?” Jasnah said briskly, stepping into a large section of her chambers she’d had cleared of furniture. 

She was also wearing a messenger style havah - shorter than the traditional garment, with high slits in the sides to allow for swift movement, and leggings underneath for dignity’s sake. Very practical, very Jasnah. 

“Sure,” Adolin said, following after her. 

He’d been surprised when she’d sent him a note requesting some training from him in dueling, but had been eager to accept. It would help with his new cousin-bonding goals. And he was always happy to help someone learn how to properly use their blade. 

“I’ve seen you fight a little with your Shardblade before,” he said, as they moved into position, “During the battle of Thaylen City. You were mostly Soulcasting, but you used your blade a couple of times, too. So I know you’re not totally useless.” 

“Thank you for that assessment, Adolin,” Jasnah replied coolly, though there was a hint of a smile in her eyes when she said it. 

Adolin blushed slightly, “What I meant was that you at least have some idea what to do. So I thought it might be best if you summoned your blade and showed me a few stances and movements that you know already? Do you know any katas?” 

“A few,” Jasnah replied, “Though they may be unfamiliar to you.” 

“Pick one,” Adolin said, leaning against the wall, well out of the way, “Go through it as you normally would. I’ll observe and see what needs to be corrected from there.” 

“Very well,” Jasnah said, nodding her assent at this plan. 

Adolin folded his arms across his chest, feeling a little odd. He’d given instruction to Shardbearers before. Zahel had sometimes had him help assist in the training of men on the practice grounds. Zahel didn’t much care that he was a prince, he’d been there, and that had been enough. 

He’d also given Shallan and Radiant extensive training now in the use of her blade. He wasn’t a stranger to being a teacher, and he found that he enjoyed it, especially as something productive he could do for the new Radiants in the tower. 

He’d just never expected to be doing it with Jasnah. 

Though, as she summoned her blade, he did feel there was something appropriate about the image of Jasnah Kholin standing there with a glimmering sword in hand. A completeness to the picture. Shallan would have wanted to sketch it, he was sure. He’d have to invite her along to one of these sessions, if they became a regular occurrence. 

“Very nice,” Adolin said, nodding approvingly as he examined the gleaming length of her weapon. 

He’d seen it before, but never up close or with the ability to take in the details. It was an elegant weapon, like Jasnah herself. Long and slender, with a slight curve to it. 

Jasnah held it comfortably. Because how else would the storming woman hold it? No one had yet managed to discover something Jasnah Kholin was objectively just bad at.

She frowned at this comment, “I haven’t started yet,” she pointed out.

Adolin grinned at her. “That’s a bit arrogant of you, Your Majesty,” he teased. She raised an eyebrow at him, and he added, “I was talking about your sword," he nodded to it, "Very nice indeed.” 

Jasnah glanced at the blade and her usually impassive features displayed a look of momentary surprise.

“Ivory says thank you,” she informed him. A pause, then she continued, “He says that he worked hard on perfecting the design and shape of this form.” 

Adolin nodded his approval. The attention to detail was obvious, and told him a lot about Ivory, and why he worked so well with Jasnah. Jasnah was all about the details. 

A slight crease formed between her eyes as she added, sardonically, “He also wishes me to pass on that he is pleased someone has taken notice. Finally.” She pursed her lips.

That made him smile again. He raised a hand and faked a cough to cover his urge to laugh at his cousin's expression. 

He had never met, or even glimpsed, Jasnah’s spren, except when he was summoned as a blade. According to her he was a private individual, who preferred not to be seen where possible. He sensed there was something deeper to it than what she’d said, but hadn’t pressed the issue.

Still, it was hard not to find Jasnah’s long-suffering tone oddly endearing for what it spoke of regarding their relationship. 

“I see Ivory is a man, uh, spren,” he corrected hastily, “Of fine taste, like myself," he said, with a small bow.

“Yes,” Jasnah replied, with a slight roll of her eyes, “Well if you’re both finished admiring swords for the moment, perhaps we could begin?” 

Adolin blushed slightly at the innuendo, which wasn’t something he was used to hearing from Jasnah. 

“You’ve been spending too much time around Wit,” he muttered, before he could think better of it. 

Fortunately, Jasnah only smiled at that, and made no remark. 

Adolin hastily gestured for her to continue, and concentrated on observing her form, rather than considering the tangled rumours of her and her wit. That was not why he was here. 

There was clearly something practiced about the motions of the kata, but it was obvious she hadn’t trained much, and that whoever had trained her previously hadn’t been very good at correcting small, but obvious, mistakes. 

There was nothing overtly wrong with what she did, but there were obvious improvements to be made that he could spot straight away. 

“Not bad,” he said, moving away from the wall, summoning Maya as he went, so that he could demonstrate, “Your stances have the right shape, but you need to commit to them more.”

He gave her a slight nudge with his elbow as he reached her and she wobbled, which illustrated his point, though she seemed displeased by it. Not at him, he sensed, but at herself.

“Sink down into them,” he said, showing her, “Anchor yourself, like a tree, roots planted deep into the ground.” 

Jasnah studied him for a moment with a critical eye, then replicated what he’d shown her, exaggerating the stance she’d chosen as demonstrated. 

“Good,” Adolin said, nodding in approval, “Alright, your grip, don’t overlap your hands like that, there’s room on the hilt for both hands to rest comfortably. Ivory’s not a bastard.” 

He chuckled to himself at the joke. Jasnah just raised her eyebrows. 

“A bastard sword is another name for a hand-and-a-half,” he explained with a shrug. 

Jasnah sniffed, “I think perhaps you might have been spending too much time around Wit.” 

There was no danger of that. If he wasn’t with Jasnah he was nowhere to be found these days. Adolin didn’t point that out either. Not while Jasnah had a shardblade in her hands, anyway. 

Instead he cleared his throat and carefully corrected the placement of her hands on Ivory’s hilt. 

“Alright, try that,” he said, gesturing for her to repeat the kata she’d just completed. 

“Better,” he said, nodding, “You’re right, by the way,” he told her, as she continued to implement what he’d just shown her, “I don’t recognise this kata. Who taught you?” 

She glanced at him as she turned, then grunted, “Swordmaster Katar," before continuing the sequence.

Adolin frowned, “Elsecalling lets you jump between here and Shadesmar, right?” he said. 

“Yes,” Jasnah replied slowly, seemingly confused by the question. 

“Does it let you jump through time, too?” he said, “Because otherwise I don’t see how Swordmaster Katar trained you. Since I’m pretty sure he’s dead.” 

“He lives on in the books he left behind,” Jasnah said, “As do all great historical figures.” She added, with a slight smirk, "I'm glad at least some of them made enough of an impression for you to take note of them."

Adolin put his hands on his hips, and snorted with laughter, unable to stop himself, “Only you would try to learn dueling from a book, Jasnah,” he said, shaking his head. 

Jasnah drew up at that and replied, blandly, “When I first bonded with Ivory eight years ago, there weren’t a lot of living swordmasters who were willing to train a heretic woman displaying ancient, forbidden powers steeped with negative connotation after the original Knight’s betrayal." She met his eyes and half-shrugged, mildly "I improvised.”

Adolin scratched his nose awkwardly and coughed to cover his momentary embarrassment, “Fair enough,” he muttered, “Given that, you’ve done pretty amazingly, I’m impressed.” 

“And without the context of my…Unorthodox education?” she asked, seeming genuinely curious about the answer. 

“Truthfully?” Adolin said, stalling for time. 

“Always,” Jasnah said, with aching sincerity, because she was Jasnah.

“You suck,” Adolin replied bluntly, unable to find a fancier way of saying it to soften the blow. 

Jasnah just smiled at that, then gestured at him, “Hence the reason you are here with me presently.”

“You have done well on your own,” Adolin told her, honestly, wanting to clarify his words. He hadn't expected her to agree with him, and that had thrown his response a little, "But-”

“But context can only excuse one’s lack of skill so far,” Jasnah supplied smoothly, “Before relying upon it simply becomes an awkward crutch to attempt to justify your inability.” 

“Sure,” Adolin agreed, nodding at her. Did she always have to talk like she was writing a new academic text? Storms. “Let’s get back into it, okay?” he suggested.

Jasnah nodded at once and complied with his instruction without a word. 

It felt very strange to be giving Jasnah orders. Stranger still to be instructing her, and correcting her. And even more strange that she deferred to him on everything and took whatever he said on board without question or hesitation.

After a little while of this, he paused in the middle of a sequence, shaking his head, bemused. Jasnah drew up, noting his expression. 

“What is it?” she asked, straightening up and raising an eyebrow at him. 

“This is just...Weird,” he said, running a hand absently through his hair, unable to find a more eloquent way of putting it. 

“Because I’m a woman?” Jasnah guessed evenly. 

“No,” Adolin said, waving a dismissive hand, “I got over that months ago with Shallan.” 

Jasnah smirked slightly at that, but made no comment. 

“It’s just-” he struggled to find the words to explain his emotions, “It’s you,” he said finally, which he knew wasn’t entirely helpful. “You’re Jasnah,” he added. Which was about as useful as his earlier sentiment. 

“I’m aware of that,” Jasnah replied, slowly, clearly struggling to piece together what he was trying to say. 

“It, well it-” Adolin stammered, feeling as lost as he would have if she'd asked him to summarise Aunt Navani's fabrial lecture for him, grappling with fitting his unwieldy emotions into insubstantial words. 

“It feels strange for me to be teaching you anything," he managed finally, "You’re Jasnah storming Kholin. The world famous scholar. This fantastic thinker, and historian, and all of that," he said, gesturing expansively before he said, voice and hands falling flat, "I’m Adolin, the family idiot, in case you hadn’t noticed.”

Silence stretched between them for a long, uncomfortable moment. 

“I think that we should take a short break,” Jasnah announced abruptly, dismissing her blade. 

Adolin decided not to point out that they’d barely been going for an hour, and with Stormlight, there was no way she actually needed a break. If he’d been Zahel he’d have laughed at this suggestion. But he wasn’t. And he knew better.

Jasnah would do what Jasnah wanted to do. She was already heading towards the seating area of her chambers. The easiest thing to do was to thank Maya, then dismiss her and follow his cousin.

Jasnah was pouring them both wine, orange for her, yellow for Adolin, and pushed the cup towards him, settling on the couch and gesturing him to the seat opposite her. 

Sighing, Adolin accepted the cup, and the chair, and sat down as indicated. 

Jasnah was eyeing him over the rim of her own cup, considering him like some dusty historical treatise she was trying to pry secrets from.

“I’ve noticed that you do that a lot, Adolin,” she remarked finally, lowering the cup. 

“What? Drink?” Adolin joked, rather feebly. 

Hastily he raised his own cup and taking a gulp of the wine. It was good. Jasnah had appropriately fine taste. But there was a bad taste in his mouth. Less from the wine, and more from the memories that rose at the mention of indulging in it too often.

“Put yourself down,” Jasnah said bluntly, ignoring his attempt at humour. “Particularly with regards to your own intelligence. You seem overly fond of comparing yourself negatively in that regard to those around you.” 

Adolin shifted uncomfortably in his seat and took another sip of his wine before he answered.

“Kind of hard not to,” he said, aiming to keep his voice light, “I mean there’s you. Aunt Navani, Shallan, Renarin. Wit’s never normally far from you, either. Even the Storming Bridgeboy-” He caught himself, realising he’d probably slipped into sounding more resentful than he’d intended. 

No doubt Jasnah had noticed. But he lounged back in his chair, giving her an easy grin to try and smoothe over the sticky moment.

With a shrug he said, “I’m just surrounded by a lot of really smart people all the time. It’s natural to make comparisons.” 

“Hm,” Jasnah replied, in a way that suggested she didn’t at all believe him, “Yet I don’t see you comparing yourself in other areas. You never remark on your lack of ability to draw while around Shallan, for instance. You don’t talk about the fact you can’t set a fracture when you’re around Kaladin. You’ve never once mentioned not being able to play the flute while around me.” 

“You still play the flute?” he deflected, while actually being vaguely interested in the answer. 

Jasnah, again, ignored him. Which was getting annoying. Shallan was a lot easier to distract and divert off course whenever she mentioned things like this. Which he did every time she tried.

“And you also don’t seem to point out the areas where those around you are lacking, either,” Jasnah continued, with characteristic unavoidable intent. “Even if they also form easy points of comparison. I don’t hear you disparage my lack of ability in the areas of personable conversation. Nor Kaladin’s inability to process failure. Or Shallan’s lack of focus. The only person whose perceived flaws you feel the need to accentuate are your own.”

She raised her eyebrows pointedly at him and settled back in her chair, raising her cup to her lips again, watching to see how he reacted.

Storms. He’d forgotten how sometimes conversing with Jasnah could feel like going to battle. Usually his head hurt less after the actual battles, too. 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, trying to process what she’d said, and the point she was driving at.

“I guess,” he said, not looking at her, “I guess it’s just...Easy to feel less than surrounded by a bunch of genius Radiants all the time. And you are all smarter than me, you can’t deny that,” he said quickly, pointing at her in accusation.

“No,” Jasnah agreed slowly, “But it’s also not something you should seek to highlight in nearly every conversation.” 

“I don’t-” he began. 

“You do,” Jasnah interrupted, voice surprisingly gentle, yet unyielding as ever. “You always find some way to mention your lack of comparable academic capability. Even in situations where it has little to no relevance. Such as our dueling practice earlier”

Adolin sighed, “I suppose you’d take exception to me pointing out that my lack of, what was it, ‘academic capability’ is really hurting my ability to properly argue with you right now?” 

Jasnah smiled thinly at that, “It would serve to highlight my point rather well, actually. So on this sole occasion, feel free.” 

He groaned, “No offence, but I really hate talking to you sometimes, Jasnah.”  

She inclined her head as if to say she understood, and agreed, with that sentiment. He found that curious about her. Most people shied away from criticism or insults. Jasnah seemed to welcome them, like a rockbud opening up to gorge itself on storm rains. Maybe because so few people were ever brave enough to tell her what they really thought. 

“You could point out that this is an area where I am not particularly skilled,” she said, swirling her wine thoughtfully, “Talking with others. Connecting. Encouraging them to open up. Empathising with their emotions and struggles.” She met his eyes again as she said, lightly, “An area in which you excel, I might add. Perfectly reasonable grounds for one of your comparisons.” 

“I would never say that to you,” he protested without thinking. 

Only after he caught the triumphant glimmer in Jasnah’s eye did he realise that she’d maneuvered him into that to make her point. He glowered at her. 

“Can we get back to dueling again?” he growled, “I have a sudden urge to start hitting you with Maya.” 

She just smiled at him. 

Adolin flopped back in his chair, running a hand through his hair again, “It’s just. It’s hard, Jasnah,” he admitted, his voice softening a little, though he avoided her penetrating gaze as he spoke, “I feel like I blinked and the entire world was pulled out from under me like a rug. I’m still struggling to get back to my feet while the bridgeboy is soaring in the sky, and my wife is infiltrating cults. Oh, and my brother has visions of the future, and my father is communing with the Storming Stormfather. And you’re the most powerful Radiant we have and I’m...Still just me.” 

“I understand,” Jasnah said quietly. 

Adolin snorted before he could stop himself. 

She raised an eyebrow at him.

“I’m sorry, Jasnah,” he said, sitting up and putting a hand on her arm, “I just find it hard to believe that you of all people can possibly understand what this feels like.”

Jasnah was quiet for a moment, tapping her finger on the side of her cup, then she said, “I spent years researching the Desolations. I collected hundreds of fragments from ancient texts detailing everything I could find related to the Radiants, Urithiru, the Voidbringers, and the events that had nearly destroyed mankind. I barely slept, barely stopped, barely rested for years to accumulate all the knowledge I could.” 

“I know,” Adolin said, scratching his head, unsure why she was telling him this, “Shallan told me.” 

Jasnah nodded, then continued, “I was the newest Radiant, I have achieved the highest Ideal of any of the people we’ve found. I am the most practiced with my powers, the most accomplished. At one time I had more knowledge, and more experience, with the Radiants, and the Desolations, than almost anyone else on Roshar.” 

“Isn’t that what I said?” Adolin asked, bemused. 

“Then the Ghostbloods sent assassins after me on the Wind’s Pleasure. I was stabbed through the chest and almost killed and ended up Elsecalling accidentally for the first time and became trapped in Shadesmar,” she went on, tone barely changing, even as she described this traumatic event.

Adolin winced at that. He remembered the reports that had come in claiming the Wind’s Pleasure lost with all hands. At the time he’d been so worried about Shallan he’d barely spared a thought for Jasnah. 

Of course, Aunt Navani’s insistence that she was fine had been a little distracting, but… He should have been more distressed at the news of Jasnah’s presumed death. Even if it had turned out to be false. 

She was family. Even if she was a little odd, and they had never really spent all that much time together or gotten to know each other that well. He was working to change that with her. 

After Elhokar’s death… Well, he had realised how precious his family was. He wanted to make the most of the people he had left.

“Having been lost there yourself, you’re aware it’s not exactly easy to get out. Or to navigate through, particularly without supplies or Stormlight.” 

Adolin nodded, grimacing at the memory. It couldn’t have been easy for Jasnah, trapped there, alone, with no preparation or warning. She’d never really spoken about it to him. Or, as far as he knew, to anyone. 

She’d published accounts of what had happened to her there, and he’d had Shallan read them to him but… They were put across with Jasnah’s usual academic slant. There wasn’t any mention of how she had felt, or how it had affected her. That wasn’t really Jasnah’s way. 

Her voice was softer when she continued, with a sigh, “When I emerged at last it was to find that the Desolation had already come. The Everstorm had been loosed across Roshar, the Singers had awoken. All of my fears had been realised without my even being there to witness them. 

“In my abseence my uncle had refounded the Knights Radiant, with him as the Stormfather’s Bondsmith. My cousin was a budding Radiant, my ward was another, and then there was the bridgeman strutting around like a prized Rhyshadium with my family, seeming to fit more with them than I ever did. It was somewhat overwhelming.” 

Adolin gaped at her. He had never heard Jasnah admit to anything overwhelming her. Ever. Well, except perhaps Aunt Navani. But she could overwhelm a highstorm at times, so that didn’t really count. 

Jasnah was always, well, Jasnah. The model of Alethi regality and dignity. Always composed, always assured, confident, never in doubt or afraid, or any of the things he seemed to feel so often these days. 

She smiled, a little sadly, and said, “I went from being one of the most knowledgeable people to having everyone know the things I had worked so hard to discover. I’d spent years struggling alone. I’d written to leaders across the world and received only scorn, and mistrust. 

“Ivory and I had been alone, struggling to comprehend our powers and our bond. At first I feared that I was going mad. No one else understood. No one else could understand. And so I had to. Then suddenly Radiants were popping up everywhere like rockbuds after a storm. 

“I thought that I was so prepared, and so informed, and in a moment all of that had been for nothing. Everything I had done had been wasted time. It had made no difference. Everyone knew. Everyone knew more than I did, in fact. Everyone had moved on to a world I had feared was coming for so long. And I was left feeling lost and utterly out of my depth.” 

She took a sip of her wine, and her eyes grew more distant, more pained. He had never seen her like this before. As open, as vulnerable, as human as she continued, very quietly.

“Then Kholinar fell. And Elhokar died. And just like that, I became Queen of an empty, broken nation. A scattered, fragmented people. As lost and overwhelmed as I was. But they looked to me, their Queen, their most experienced Radiant, a ‘genius’ as you name me, and expected me to have answers, to be a shining light of salvation in the darkness of the thing I had dreaded for so long. They wanted me to save them, without ever realising I had already tried to do just that. And that I had failed.” 

So looked up and met Adolin’s eyes, her gaze steady, in spite of what she’d just shared with him and said, with a little humourless smile on her lips, “So yes, Adolin. I think I have some idea of what you have been feeling since all of this began.”

Adolin sat, feeling somewhat stunned, as if he’d just been cracked over the head with a Shardbearer’s warhammer again. 

Then he found himself leaning forwards, taking Jasnah’s hand and nodding to her, “Yeah,” he murmured, voice a little hoarse now. “Everything changed so much so fast. Everything except me.” 

She squeezed his hand. Just a brief pulse of her fingers around his, but it somehow gave him courage to say things he’d never been able to properly voice aloud before. 

“I was one of the most important people on Roshar. Shardbearer. Expert duelist. Heir to a princedom. In line to the throne of Alethkar itself,” he reeled off dully.

He shook his head, and downed the rest of his wine. Jasnah wordlessly refilled his cup for him, and he nodded his thanks to her before continuing. 

“Then the world ended. And there were Storming Knight’s Radiant again. And my father was one. And my brother was one. And my fiancee was one. And my returned-from-the-dead-cousin was one,” he said, gesturing emphatically towards her, “And my bridgeboy was one, too, because of course he storming is.” he went on, waving his cup around so much that a little of the wine slopped over the rim. They both pretended not to notice. “And I was just...Some guy with a dead spren and no place in this new ending world.” 

He met Jasnah’s eyes and gently squeezed her hands as he added, “Then Elhokar died. I failed him. And I failed Kholinar. We only got out of that mess because of my father-” he broke off, clenching his fist and turning away. 

Jasnah let him sit quietly for a moment, gazing vaguely off into space, brooding. There was darkness inside him. No one ever seemed to see that. He never wanted to let it show. But it was there. And it was swirling to the surface now, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to stop it. 

“My father,” he said, very quietly, still not sure if he wanted to fall into this chasm, “Who killed my mother.” 

His voice caught and he was forced to swallow hard to clear the sudden lump in his throat so he could speak again. And when he did he found that he couldn’t stop.

Because he met Jasnah’s eyes again and knew that she, too, had dark thoughts she never wanted the world to see. There was a strange connection being forged between them. An understanding he’d never thought to find, or even look for, with her. But he felt that she understood, and would not condemn him for the words that started pouring out of his mouth like poison.

“And he wrote a storming book about it and told the world what he’d done. How he- What he-” He broke off again, but made himself keep going, “What he did. How he visited the Nightwatcher and she took his memories of her. Or, or a god took his memories of her, because they hurt him so much after what he’d done and I-” 

He balled his hands into fists and pounded them against his knees as the teras pressed behind his defiantly closed eyes. 

Through clenched teeth, he forced himself to get out, “As though he was the only one suffering. As though I was fine. As though I wasn’t in agony every storming day after she died.” 

Something broke in him then. Something that had been fraying for a long time. And he couldn’t hold it back anymore. 

“And it was his fault! He should have felt pain. He should have felt guilt. He should have felt every storming thing that was killing him after what he did because he deserved it. I didn’t. Renarin didn’t. But there was nothing there to take our pain away. We didn’t even have him. We lost both of our parents that night, and he didn’t even seem to care. Still doesn’t. He only thinks about what it cost him. What he lost. What he took away from the world. And from me.”

“I’m sorry, Adolin,” Jasnah said quietly, “I know that you still miss her.” 

“Of course I still miss her!” Adolin snapped, then winced at how loudly he had said that. He sighed, clenching and unclenching his hands several times, like a heartbeat, then said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you.” 

Jasnah just nodded, wordless acceptance of his apology.

He set his jaw, then took another sip of wine, finishing his second cup. But when Jasnah made to refill it again he shook his head. He kept the cup in his hands so he could fidget with it, but he didn’t want more wine. He didn’t want- He didn’t want to be the man who needed it to get through something difficult. He didn’t want to be his father. Not anymore. 

“I still love him,” Adolin mumbled, “Even after what he did. He’s my father. And he- I can see that he’s trying to be a better man. She saw that in him, you know.” 

He looked up and saw Jasnah frown slightly, struggling to follow his confused, meandering thoughts. He didn’t blame her. 

“My mother,” he explained, wiping his nose on the back of his hand without really noticing what he was doing. “She was a good person. And she saw a good person in him, too. And she was right. She just-” 

He was crying now, jaw gritted against it, unwilling, but the tears were still coming. He wasn’t sure when he’d started. He supposed that it didn’t really matter. And with that realisation came the freedom to just..Cry. 

His mother would never have chided him for that, for his emotions. She would have welcomed them. Even angry, bitter, grief-drenched tears. The bad feelings couldn’t be kept inside of him, they would make him sick. And they would. They had made his father sick. So sick he’d had to beg a god to heal him.

“Why did she have to die before he listened to her?” he blurted, not expecting an answer from Jasnah. Not expecting an answer at all. Just needing to put voice to the things that had tormented him for so long. “Why did he have to storming kill her before he could become the man she always knew that he could be? Why couldn’t he have been that man for her? The man she deserved? Because she- She deserved better than the man that he was. There. I’ve said it.” 

He turned away from Jasnah, rubbing at his eyes, hoping, stupidly, that she might not have seen his tears. That was pretty impossible, given that she’d been staring right at him, and she was more perceptive than a skyeel spotting rats on the crowded streets of a city sometimes. 

And given that he was doing nothing short of openly weeping at this point. But Jasnah made no comment. Just silently handed him a silk handkerchief she had in a pocket.

“She was a good person, Adolin,” Jasnah agreed softly, “And you are her son. As much as you are your father’s.” She paused, then said, “More.” 

Adolin cleared his throat and sniffed several times before meeting her eyes.

She nodded, answering his unspoken question, confirming for him. 

Then she said, “She used to do the same thing that you do now, you know.” 

He frowned slightly at that, “What?” 

“She would compare herself to the other women of the court. Say how she was not as smart, nor as cunning, as they were, that she lacked their skill in politics, and Alethi scheming.”

“She was a better woman than all of them,” Adolin whispered, wiping his eyes again, “She had a good heart. She was gentle, and kind, and loving. She saw the best in everyone, and everything, even when they’d shown her nothing but the worst parts of them. She always believed things could be better, that we could be better. That’s what she taught me, and Renarin. And she was right. She-” 

He broke off, meeting Jasnah’s eyes again, and found that glimmer in them. She nodded slowly to him, and he swallowed, but nodded back to her, understanding passing between them.

“You are more like her than you allow yourself to be, Adolin,” Jasnah observed quietly. “You have her heart. But you hide it behind your own perception of all the things you’re doing wrong. All the things you aren’t good at. You ignore your greatest strengths to dwell upon your flaws. Until that becomes a flaw itself. It’s holding you back from the man that you could be. The man you should become.”

“When I was younger, I wanted so badly to be like my father,” Adolin said quietly. “I wanted to be the Blackthorn. I wanted to fight alongside him on the Plains. I wanted to see the greatness that everyone spoke about when they talked about him. The unstoppable Shardbearer. The undefeated warlord. I thought he was the best a man could be, the best thing I could ever aspire to be.” 

“And now?” Jasnah prompted gently. 

Adolin clenched his fist in his lap and stared into the candle flame flickering on the table between them, “Now that’s the monster who killed my mother,” he whispered, with a naked condemnation he hadn’t dared approach before. Not even in his own thoughts. “And thousands of other innocent people. And the less like him I am the better I’ll be. The better Alethkar will be, too.” 

He paused, then looked up at Jasnah, realisation sparking in him.

“That’s what’s wrong, isn’t it?” he said quietly, “What we are, what we do? We- We focus on the wrong things. On how good we are at killing and conquering. Or how accomplished our women are at scheming, and manipulating people.” He met Jasnah’s eyes and said, “That’s what you’re trying to change, isn’t it?” 

“No, cousin,” she said, actually reaching out and taking his hands, “That is what we are going to change,” she said, firmly. 

Adolin squeezed her hands and nodded, “We will,” he agreed. 

Jasnah smiled at that, not her usual, small, guarded little smirk, a full smile, her eyes dancing, her intent clear. And Adolin found himself smiling with her. 

As one, they stood, and embraced. Without any reluctance or ginger back patting on Jasnah’s part this time.

As they drew away, Adolin eyed her. “I think Wit has been rubbing off on you,” he observed, giving her a wry smile. 

Jasnah pulled back, frowning at that, “What do you mean?” 

“This feels like the kind of thing he’d do,” Adolin said, shrugging, “From what Shallan and Kal have said to me about the times he’s popped up to give them cryptic advice when they’ve needed to talk about stuff.” 

Jasnah sniffed, “I don’t think anything about that conversation was ‘cryptic’, Adolin. Nor was it intended to be.” 

“That’s true,” Adolin said, nodding, “If it had been Wit he’d have told me a three hour story about how chulls shouldn’t judge themselves on how good they are at flying by comparing themselves to skyeels or. Something.”

Jasnah smiled at that, and her expression softened in a way Adolin had never seen from her before. 

He paused, wondering if he dared ask her if the rumours surrounding her and Wit were true. 

Then the softened expression dropped from her face as she turned back towards him looking decidedly more business-like, and he decided that he didn’t dare. 

She might be his cousin, and they might have just bonded over things he’d never dreamed she of all people could have the experience to understand. But no.

Adolin Kholin might not be able to name all seventeen varieties of fingermoss, or have any idea how fabrials worked, but he was not stupid.

***

[transkenobis]

some people really talk abt elhokar like hes thirteen instead of thirty. "he was just a young man trying his best" he was ten years away from a midlife crisis where he does whatever the fantasy equivalent of buying a broken down sportscar and fixing it himself in his garage is. he was married with a child. hed been king for around six years he had TIME to show ACTUAL IMPROVEMENT instead of just vaguely threatening to be better. why is moash extremely and completely responsible for every single bad thing that happens around him while elhokar gets treated like a toddler who couldnt POSSIBLY know what he was doing when he sent innocent people to their deaths