#ellie williams hurt/comfort

[mariposa-drowned]

Hear me out, Ellie x pregnant reader doing the trend where you lift up your s/o belly to relieve the weight and then having a lil heart to heart bc you just feel so useless due to said pregnancy

Ellie was currently scrolling tiktok as you sat on the couch together, your attention being taken up by whatever show you had thrown on TV, not even noticing the sound coming from Ellie's phone, you were so used to her needing multiple different forms of entertainment at the same time that it barley even phased you anymore.

You were eight months pregnant and ready for this baby to be out. You're tired all the time and can't stand for too long without discomfort, which made you feel useless. No matter how much Ellie assured you she was completely fine with taking over daily tasks, even having Joel over sometimes to entertain you while she worked on stuff, or the other way around. Tommy had even been over a few times with Maria as she tried to offer you tips and tricks on how to deal with the discomfort.

Ellie felt terrible that she couldn't do more for you. Besides massages and the occasional sex that you swore helped; Ellie was always looking for ways to help. Which is why when a video popped up of a man getting behind his wife to lift her pregnant belly for a few seconds, Ellie was immediately ushering you up, hoping that you would get the same relief that the girl in the video seemed to get.

"Ellie what the hell are you doing"

"just trust me babe this is gonna feel great"

"don't kill me please. Or the baby"

Ellie rolled her eyes, positioning herself behind you, her long arms coming to intertwine right below your bump.

"kay take a deep breath"

You huffed but did as told. Then a sudden rush of incredible relief filling you as Ellie lifted your bump up you groaned, your hand reaching behind you to entangle itself in Ellie's hair.

"hooolyyy fuck Ellie"

"yeah? That feel good mama?"

"ohmygod can we just stay here for a minute please"

"as long as you need babe"

You were practically on the verge of tears from the relief you were currently feeling, you hand gripping a bit harder where it was entangled in Ellie's hair. She noticed your teary eyes, quickly becoming concerned.

"hey what's wrong am I hurting you?" She worried as she slowly started to drop your belly.

"don't you dare drop your hands Ellie Williams"

You immediately gripped her hand with a force she didn't even know you possessed.

Ellie immediately reassumed her position "christ babe sorry, was just a bit worried when my wife starts crying"

"just feels really fuckin good els" you stated with watery eyes

"hey hey don't cry mama, it's alright I'll do this whenever you need until they're here babe. It's alright"

"m'sorry just feels s'nice, I just feel so useless because I'm so uncomfortable all the time n I can't do anything"

Ellies heart broke a little at your confession "don't be sorry at all, you hear me?" C'mon let's go sit for a minute, I promise I'll do this again later, jus' wanna talk to you"

You leaned your head back to try and meet her eyes, your vision still a bit blurred

"pinky swear?"

"cross my heart babe. C'mon I'm gonna start lowerin my hands now"

You tried to keep her there as long as you could, but inevitably Ellie's hands left their place under your stomach. You sighed as she started to lead you to the couch. She plopped down, spreading her legs and ushering you in-between them to which you promptly did, getting as comfortable as you could in-between her legs.

Ellie grabbed one of your hands, the other resting on your bulging stomach tracing small shapes.

"I need you to listen to me for a minute babe"

You tilted you head back to lean on your shoulder semi-looking at her while humming a small mhm

"I love you. So much. But you need to understand that you are actively making a living being in you right now. You are allowed to be sick and tired and uncomfortable, it's expected. But you need to understand that we are in this together. I will always be here, I want to be here for you, which means that if you can't do something, I pull my weight here. That's my job mama, I gotta take care of you and little bean" Ellie smiled through her last sentence, looking down to meet your smiling face aswell

"I love you els. Thank you, for everything"

"always and forever babe"

"always and forever" you smiled back at her, leaning up to give a peck on Ellie's lips.

[simonsomeriley]

please would you write for Ellie x doctor!reader in Jackson who looks after everyone and helps Ellie out after a patrol one day!

your wish is my command <3

1.3k words | gn!reader

You're walking on the slippery ice on the road of Jackson, you hear the sounds of children giggling through the streets, everything here just feels like home.

Even with the worries of whats going on outside, the little community you've all built together makes it at least a little bit better. Being able to help the people of your community, the children. Makes it all better, day by day.

In the morning, the elders go outside for their chit-chats and their coffee, watching the kids run outside. Playing football, drawing with chalk, finally being able to let kids be kids again.

The evenings are spent doing your jobs and your tasks, gathering supplies like wood, water refills, & food, the chefs are in the kitchen cooking up what they can make of what they have.

You, on the other hand, spend your evenings in the medical supply tent. Putting cartoon bandaids on kids' knees after they fall, stitching up some people who have fallen on the ice. And what you do best, take care of your self-proclaimed "hunters" after they've been out on patrol.

And the night time is spent with dim lights, cleaning up, & getting children ready for bed.

Your medical tent is usually up 24/7, just in case an emergency happens past usual work hours. If there has been a lot of cases in one day, usually the nice older lady that runs the bakery will get you a sweet treat as a reward.

You're just cleaning up the tent per usual in the afternoon, mopping the floor and sanitizing what tools you have. There had been Ellie's turn to go on patrol today, Ellie and Jessie together. They'd left a couple of hours ago, nothing seemingly out of order. Usually they'd stay out until it got dark, or in Joel's words "Testing God's patience."

You hear the sound of hooves, galloping, humans running to open the gates & lots of loud talking. It dies down after a while, you decide that it wasn't anything urgent. Assuming that if it was, you'd probably be called over for some look-overs for serious injuries.

You hear someone enter your tent, you look up from where you're sterilizing some needles. It's Jesse. He's alone. You'd just assumed Ellie came hand-in-hand with Jesse, realizing now that it wasn't the case.

"Anything happen, Jesse? Anything I need to get my emergency kit out for?" Jesse looks around, like he's familiarizing his surroundings, "Nah. To me? No. Ellie could use some help, though. Hopefully nothing too serious. She got some infected hangin' off of Shimmer,"

You stand up, gathering some items off of your desk and putting them in an over the shoulder bag, "She's fine though, right? No injuries, just some bruising I'm assuming?"

"If you're talking about the horse, Shimmer's fine. If you're talking about the human, Ellie's not lookin' too hot. Luckily the infected got off by the time we neared the gates. Think she hit her head pretty hard, though."

You walk over to the opening of the tent, where Jesse's standing in the makeshift "doorway", "I'll have a look at 'er. Make sure you get the horses in the stables, okay?"

Jesse backs up, walking out of the tent, "Sure, mom. Good thing there wasn't any major weather. The infected were hiding under the already fallen snow. No way to figure out whether there'd be infected under there or not. I'd say we made it out pretty good for how many of those monsters were out there,"

You're walking towards the gate now, some people are gathered there & discussing patrol curfew, horses & partners. You spot Joel by Ellie's side though, seemingly she looked fine a tad bit, bruised, with some minor cuts, you spotted no extreme injuries or anything major.

Jesse's walked over to the stables now, you approach Ellie with your bag over your shoulder, "How're you holding up, Ells? You aren't looking so hot,"

She whips her head around at the sound of your voice, from where she's standing talking to Joel. "I'm fine," of course. The default, tiring, awkward response. I'm fine.

"Really, I could take you to the tent and just get you checked over. Make sure you don't have any deeper-than-skin injuries that'll affect you later,"

She seems to nod and sigh in defeat, the all stubborn girl she is, and she walks with you by your side back to the medical tent.

"Jesse told me about the infected. Seemed pretty intense out there, huh? Glad Shimmer's alright and you aren't missing any limbs,"

She holds eye contact as you speak, looking away at the end of your sentence and widening her eyes, "Yet. Never know how many of those guys are out there, y'know? It's hard to tell in the winter time. S'like they run on freezing weather or something,"

You lift up the entrance of the tent for her as she leans down to get under it, "You're reckless, you know that? You should be more careful. Like Joel says, you only live once, at least make it worth the while," she winces as she bends down, and she tries to cover it up. You notice.

You sit her down at a chair with a pillow on the seat, "You're not very good at pretending, do you know that?"

The smug grin on her face tells you enough.

You dampen a washcloth in the sink, bringing it over to her and wiping at the dried blood stains on her face. Most of it disappears without trace. That's good, that means it's mostly coming from one place. Not many wounds.

She has an indent in her upper lip. You take note of it.

You ask her to take off her jacket, leaving her in just her band t-shirt and her jeans. You check her arms for any wounds, and once you reckon you've found every injury, you get out your needle and thread.

You figure the cut in her upper lip would heal on its own, recommending her some cleaning solution to keep on her bedside table.

You sew the cut in her arm together, from what looks like could broken glass or a hard slam against the ground.

You put a band-aid over the stitching, and you're now instructing her on how to keep the cut on her upper lip clean. She's completely out of focus with what you're saying.

You keep rustling in your stash, finding the cleaning solution and q-tips at last, demonstrating how to take care of it.

Her eyes are only focused on you. She watches you like you hung the moon and the stars up in the sky.

You come back to your senses after ranting about cleaning wounds & how to do it at home, and you realize that she's closer to your face than what you remembered. You could almost feel her cold-minty breath on your face if you focused hard enough. Her pupils are dilated.

It's been quiet for a while. Neither of you notice or bring it up. It's a comfortable quiet. A shared silence.

You feel her lip graze yours. You want to stop her. You want to tell her off for this so bad, you'd say, "Ellie, you have a fresh cut on your lip. This isn't a good idea," but still. You can't bring yourself to say it. Not when her closeness feels this good. This right.

She asks permission. After sitting in silence for the past couple of minutes, she asks permission, "Can I?" you freeze. You don't know what to say.

Her eyes are on you. You feel her heart rhythm. Her breathing. You nod your head to the best of your abilities when your head feels this clouded from her attention.

She leans in close, and the gap between your lips closes. You feel her lips on yours for long, a sweet, heart-warming kiss. You can practically feel her smirk against your face before you pull away.

"Might have to be reckless more often if this is what I get out of it,"

[elsfavor1te]

please, I’m begging you to write more soul shattering angst 🙏🙏

ALL THE KISSES IN THE WORLD.

my gift for being gone for so long. i really really tried to write a chapter of AW that i liked, i did i tried. alas i could not. so take this self indulgent angst. this was written purely out of the pain brewing inside of me <3333 love ya.

warnings: literally just as anon said, soul crushing angst. ellie williams x fem!reader. i’m sure there are many plot holes but idc. hurt/comfort.

your hands are covered in blood. your hands are shaking. your hands are shaking and covered in your blood.

“i don’t wanna die, i don’t wanna die.” you whisper in rushed breaths, wincing at the sharp pain high in your chest when you inhale.

once the tears start, you can’t stop them. you regret it. begging ellie to split up, saying you’d be done quicker. how careless you were walking into this building. being too cocky and landing yourself here.

when your eyes catch the clicker who did this to you, its like they squeeze shut without your asking. the heaving breaths hurt so bad, but you can’t stop. if you do you’re afraid you may not breathe again. you don’t wanna die.

“i’m not bit, i can survive.” you try to reason with yourself. the glass you pulled out of your torso after being pushed onto it by the clicker that was way stronger than expected, was now somewhere across the room.

you know you’re not supposed to pull it out. you know you’re supposed to leave it. you acted out of fear, something was in your body that wasn’t supposed to be and your hands moved to pull it out before the rational part of you could stop it.

“ellie is gonna come. she’s g-gonna find me, she’s gonna save me.” you utter into the desolate area, no other sounds in the air besides the ones coming from you.

your vision is decorated with spots and your hands are clammy when you hear the crunch of someone coming near the building. one of your hands stop pressing down on your bloody wound and shakily reach toward the gun at your side.

a quiet sob escapes you when you try and fail to stop your hand from shaking. it feels like you’ve lost control over your body. you have no say in what’s happening to you.

you push those thoughts down and stare down the barrel of your gun as bravely you can. you can be brave. ellie always says you’re brave. her bravest bestest girl.

you always laugh and say that bestest isn’t a word.

when you see those familiar freckle dusted cheeks, your hand drops out of pure exhaustion. sending the gun spinning across the old concrete floor.

relief is the only way you can explain the warm tingly feeling that rushes over your body as she kneels over you. her presence brought a welcome haze over your vision and a numbness to your body.

“baby! can you hear me? hey. listen, look at me.”

her voice is muffled, like there’s cotton balls in your ears, still the most soothing sound in the world to you. you smile at her, a small faint smile, but still a smile nonetheless.

she’d take a smile.

“i’m gonna get you out of here okay? you’re okay.”

you open your mouth to speak but nothing comes out, you opt for raising your hand to her cheek.

she instinctively leans into your palm, tears falling from her clouded green eyes.

you don’t want her to cry.

“i-it doesn’t…hurt— anymore.” you push out, trying to reassure her. your thumb goes to wipe the tear trailing down her face when you notice the bloody smears you’re leaving behind.

“i’m gettin’ you all dirty…” you frown, dropping your hand away.

ellie says something about picking you up, you don’t really hear her though. too busy admiring her face and the way her plush lips wrap around her words.

you meant it when you told her it didn’t hurt anymore. it’s like you had be doused in a sort of numbing substance, so when she gently brought you into her arms, you didn’t cry out or scream, or do anything.

that scared her.

“els… i wan’ a kiss.. kiss me.” you pout, forgetting all about the situation you’re in, solely focused on the idea of her lips against yours.

“i’ll give you all the kisses in the world as soon as i get you to a doctor. okay, pretty?”

“‘m bein so brave huh?”

“yes, baby.” she shakily inhales as she attempts to run you both back to where she left shimmer. “my bravest, bestest girl.”

“i love when you call me that…. i’m so tired els… so— sleepy.” you nuzzle into her chest.

“no! no— hey. look at me. right now to be brave you need to stay awake okay? you need to— to watch me.”

“i think i’ve been brave…” you slur, closing your eyes and succumbing to the darkness.

[actual-changeling]

In the grand scheme of things, a month is not enough time to really get to know someone, especially if said person is clearly still going through a lot of shit and clinging to his brother like an octopus. They have been spending more and more afternoons with each other, always with Joel in the middle, and he likes to think they're on a good path to being friends.

Tommy might not know Ellie well, but he does know her, and it's easy to see that she is currently incredibly uncomfortable and Joel nowhere to be seen. The dining hall is loud during meal times on the best of days, but today it is outright chaotic, and Tommy remembers how overwhelming it had been during his first few months in Jackson. On top of that, Ellie is so small she can probably barely see through the crowd, just a piece of driftwood caught in the current and pulled along in whatever direction people are moving, and without Joel there to enforce her personal space, she is drowning.

His body is moving toward her before he even notices what he is doing, stopping himself once he does; there's a chance Ellie would be quite upset if he tried to swoop in and "save" her, well aware how much she dislikes being close to anyone who isn't Joel. But then Martin starts talking to her, good guy, usually very friendly, and all color drains from her face, and Tommy decides he'd rather have Ellie elbow him in the stomach than face his brother's wrath over not stepping in.

The crowd parts around him when he moves through it, the distance between him and Ellie closed within seconds, and he stops on her right, keeping himself in her field of vision so he doesn't startle her (he did that once on accident, never again). He nods at Martin, though his feelings are far from his priority right now.

"Hey Ellie, have you seen Joel somewhere?"

Trying to keep his tone light, he has one eye on the people surrounding them and one on her, still trying to figure out where the hell his brother disappeared to, he never leaves her alone if he can help it. He's not quite sure what he expects Ellie to do, but it's definitely not her hands snapping up to grab his arm so tightly it's almost painful, nails digging into his skin. She is shaking, trying so hard to be aware of the room around her that her eyes are almost fluttering, and it takes him a few beats to react.

"Gonna go 'n find my brother with this one, Martin."

It's not a question but he nods, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze before merging back into the crowd, and Tommy is incredibly thankful for that. The second he is gone, Ellie deflates, falling against his side, and Tommy brings up his other arm around her and gently places his palm on her back, relieved when she doesn't flinch. Asking if she is okay seems unnecessary, she clearly isn't, so he just tries his best to provide her with as much space as possible as he navigates them to an empty table in one of the quieter corners near the back exit, casually pushing people away when necessary.

Ellie sinks into a chair and doesn't let go of him, knuckles white, and he settles next to her, keeping an eye out for Joel while talking to her.

"Anything you need, sweetheart?"

The endearment slips out, force of habit, and her gaze is suddenly glued to his face, pupils blown so wide her eyes seem black.

"Don't leave."

"I won't, promise. Do you know where Joel went?"

She shakes her head, fingers around his wrist loosening a tiny bit.

"Alright, I'm sure he'll be back soon, someone probably just distracted him."

They both lean back, the relative silence between them oddly comforting, and Ellie nudges her chair across the floor until their armrests are pressed together, her breaths coming a bit slower and deeper now. The affection curling around his heart is familiar, warmth blooming in his chest, and it's easy to understand why Joel fell for her so quickly and completely it almost killed him. She relaxes while they wait, head tipping to rest against his biceps, eyes closed, and the open display of trust is so sweet it makes him ache. Despite not spending a lot of time together, she clearly thinks of him as someone safe, probably due to his relationship with Joel, and Tommy finds himself hoping that maybe they can build something on that foundation. Ellie is Joel's kid, which makes her family, and Tommy looks out for his people.

It takes Joel about fifteen minutes to finally return to them with a panicked look on his face, clearly out of breath, and he stops dead in his tracks when he sees Ellie half draped over him.

"I'm sorry, baby, someone was asking about some construction work I did yesterday, and-"

"It's okay," she interrupts, blinking up at him and stretching out one hand in a clear demand, "Tommy got me."

Joel stills, eyes flicking between the two of them, and he simply shrugs his unoccupied shoulder, it's not like it's his kid, after all. He takes Ellie's hand and falls into the chair next to her, leaning over to press a kiss to her hair, and Tommy doesn't even try to hide his smile. To everyone's surprise, Ellie stays right where she is, holding Joel's hand with a death grip but still using him as a pillow, and the look he shares with Joel is one of mutual confusion and resignation. She starts talking to him about some space book she's been reading, ignoring the last twenty minutes of her life, and they silently agree to wait out the masses before getting their own food, Ellie seemingly content to force both of them to listen to her ramble about an astronaut he has no idea about.

Yeah, she got them both wrapped around her finger, and Tommy finds he doesn't mind it one bit, hoping that maybe this is not only a second chance for Joel, but for him, too.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 6

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness.

Part 6

"Mommy, you should kiss Joel."

You nearly dropped the laundry you were hanging outside when you heard what your toddler said. You looked at your son in shock.

"Where did that idea come from, honey?"

Teddy sighed and said, "Because Joel is sad and you always give me a kiss when I'm sad and that helps."

"Oh" was all you could say.

Joel had actually been sadder for the past few days. He was even more reticent and didn't even react to Ellie's taunts. You didn't know if it was because of your talk about forgiveness or the fact that Maria and Tommy were expecting a baby. Well, You thought that was good news, but did Joel was jealous? He had Teddy, after all. He got a second chance.

"Mommy."

You heard your son's impatient voice and realized that "Oh" wasn't considered a sufficient answer. You knelt down next to him and said, "I'm afraid it doesn't work on adults as it does on children. I think Joel might feel weird if I kissed him."

Teddy frowned. "Then hug him... You hugging Aunt Claudia when she's sad."

"You hugging him, and that's better than my hug."

Your son made a sad face, and you felt like you let him down. In his childhood mind, sometimes everything was so simple and you envied him that.

"You know what helps me when I'm sad?" The little boy looked at you curiously. "When you give me drawings and flowers. Maybe after I finish work at the stables, we can go to the meadow so you can pick flowers for Joel?"

"Okay, but if that doesn't help, promise me you'll hug him."

You sighed heavily and nodded your head.

At the stables, you were still thinking about what Teddy said. Maybe you should talk to Joel? He didn't really have anyone in Jackson except Tommy, Ellie, and Teddy... And you. He still had a strained relationship with his brother, and the children were hardly suitable for serious conversations. So everything was on you. And your two relationship has improved. When you saw him, you didn't just think about how badly he hurt you, but how he changed for the better.

You stopped brushing Jupiter for a moment and looked back to see your son, who was throwing straw into an empty stall. In fact, he lost most of the straw along the way, but he looked so cute. He wanted to help you, like his dad.

You were so lost in thought that you didn't notice that you were approaching to place where another horse had bitten Jupiter. The wound still hurt him, and though he was a nice horse, he reacted to pain like any other animal. He whinnied loudly and jumped up sharply. You managed to dodge the kick, but you staggered and stumbled. You hit your head on the post that was between the horse's boxes. It got dark before your eyes and the last thing you remember was your son's frightened scream.

*

Teddy knew he had to call for help. He ran out of the stable and began to run as fast as his little legs would allow him. However, he passed several people and did not stop. Even when someone tried to stop him. In his mind, only one person could save you.

"Joel!" he shouted as he saw a familiar figure.

Joel was just walking with Ellie to the dining room when he heard his son scream. He immediately turned around and knelt down to catch the kid who practically ran into him. He immediately noticed that the little boy was terrified.

"Teddy, what happened?"

He gently grabbed his shoulders and started looking for any injuries, but the baby boy seemed to be fine. Teddy struggled to catch his breath, tears streaming down his face.

"Mama," he finally choked out.

Joel was immediately overwhelmed by a wave of terror.

"What about mom?" He asked.

The boy barely spoke. "Ho… Horse... Kick" he said between sobs.

Joel didn't need any more. He looked at Ellie, who seemed as scared as Teddy.

"Stay with him. I'm running to her."

The girl nodded and grabbed the boy's hand as Joel ran to the stables.

*

When you woke up you felt a terrible headache. Your ears were ringing and your vision was blurred, but only one thing mattered to you. Your son.

"Teddy," you croaked.

You got up with difficulty. You felt like a newborn foal that couldn't catch its balance. You slowly took a step by step, sticking to the wall. As you were about to leave, Joel suddenly ran up to you. He grabbed your sides and held you tight.

"Y/N, what happened?"

You heard the worry in his voice.

"Jupiter got angry... I jumped back, but I think I hit my head on something hard... Where's Teddy?"

Joel stroked your cheek, then ran his hand over the back of your head and was relieved to see that there was no blood on his fingers.

"Teddy is with Ellie. He's fine. He's just scared."

As soon as you heard that, you felt your strength leave you. You stayed on your feet only because fear for your son was your motivation. Joel immediately lifted you up and said, "Okay. You need medical attention."

"No" you moaned and rested your head against his chest. "Just not Anderson."

Joel sighed. "Then what am I supposed to do?"

"Take me home and call Wanda. She used to be a nurse."

"Okay," he whispered and brushed his lips against your forehead, and you just closed your eyes.

*

An hour later you were in bed and listening to Wanda's instructions. Teddy was cuddling up to your side. He had stopped crying but was still very scared. Ellie was sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you with worried eyes. Joel stood next to Wanda and carefully listened to her.

"It's definitely a concussion. She should not move. Let her sleep a lot, rest, and drink plenty of water. Someone should stay with her overnight. If she starts vomiting, she may choke."

"I'm not going to vomit," you muttered. You were slightly annoyed that the woman was talking like you weren't in the room.

Joel just gave you an indulgent look and replied, "I'll keep an eye on her.”

When Wanda left, he came closer to you and stroked his son's head.

"Hey, 'bear cub', mum will be fine. Why don't you and Ellie go to the meadow and collect flowers for mommy?"

Teddy looked at you with those puppy eyes he inherited from his father.

"Will this help you, mommy?"

You nodded your head and he immediately jumped off the bed and grabbed Ellie's hand pulling her towards the exit. Joel was still staring at you.

"What?" you asked.

He bit his lip and muttered, "I was worried about you, I'm still worried about you... I don't know what I would do if something happened to you..."

You were surprised by his confession. You might even hug him if it weren't for the constant dizziness.

"I'll be fine and you don't have to do all this for me."

Joel stepped closer, knelt by the bed, and grabbed your hand.

"I'll take care of you and Teddy. I'll do whatever it takes to make you feel better."

You smiled slightly and nodded your head.

In the evening you were really surprised how well Joel handled the baby. You thought your boy would be very cranky after a day like this... And he was, but Joel made it. After he put his son to bed, he came back to you and sat in the armchair to watch you all night.

It was weird and embarrassing for you at first. You thought you wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to him, but his presence began to soothe you and you fell asleep.

*

Joel stretched out in an armchair and tilted his head back. He yawned and closed his eyes. He thought that nothing would happen if he took a nap for a while. Your sleep seemed restful. Before he could fall asleep he heard the patter of small feet and after a while, he felt Teddy climb into his lap. He opened his eyes and smiled softly.

"Hi, 'bear cub'."

The baby boy glanced towards the bed: "Mummy still sleeping?"

Joel combed the boy's curls. "It's night. She should sleep. Just like you."

The little one shook his head and looked at him, and despite the dim light, Joel could see traces of tears on the baby's cheeks.

"You were crying, baby. What happened?"

He pulled the boy to his chest and hugged him tightly.

"Will mommy die?"

Joel replied immediately. "No, 'bear cub'. Of course not. She'll be fine. That's why I'm here to make sure everything is okay."

Teddy nodded and murmured, "Tell me a story."

Joel frowned. "We have to go get the book."

"No," the little one moaned. "Your story."

"Oh. All right." He thought for a moment. "I'll tell you about the Boston Angel."

"That angel was pretty?"

Joel smiled and nodded. "It was basically she, and she was the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. She was also sweet and kind. Even though Boston wasn't a pretty place, she was always able to find something beautiful and show it to the children. She bent down to tie a little girl's shoes and gave food to the homeless dog, and she always smiled."

"And did she bake cookies like Mommy?"

"Yes. She was the perfect Angel, but she met the bad man." Joel sighed heavily. He didn't know why he made up this story about you two. He felt the little boy tugging at his shirt.

"And what did the bad man do?"

"He broke the angel's wings and made the angel sad."

"But why did he do it?"

"Because he forgot how to love and only remembered that losing someone you love hurts a lot. So instead of loving an angel, he preferred to hurt her." He stroked Teddy's curls. "But the angel managed to escape Boston, and then her wings grew back and became even more beautiful and stronger. So strong that they could carry her wherever she wanted."

Teddy yawned and asked, "And the bad man? Has he changed?"

Joel didn't know what to say. He hadn't expected such a question. He swallowed and replied, "He's tried hard to change and... I hope one day he'll be good and the Angel will see it."

You felt tears running down your cheeks. You woke up as soon as you heard your son's voice, but you were still tired and did not react. You knew Joel would take care of the boy. So you heard the whole story about Angel and you couldn't believe it. Joel thought you were asleep, so he didn't say all that just to win your favor.

There was silence and you guessed that Teddy had fallen asleep. You went back to sleep too.

*

Joel slowly got to his feet, holding gently the sleeping boy, but something was bothering him. The baby's body was too warm. He kissed the boy's forehead and wondered if you had a thermometer somewhere in the house. He gently placed the baby on the bed and carefully covered him with a blanket. He didn't even get out of the room before he heard a plaintive whine, "Joo."

He quickly returned to the baby and began to calm him down. "Shhh, I'll be right back."

The little one stretched out his arms towards him with another pitiful moan and began to cry. Joel sighed and took the boy in his arms, wrapping him in a blanket.

"It's okay 'bear cub'. Do you know where mom keeps the thermometer and medicine?"

The little one sobbed and pressed his face against dads shoulder, muttering, "Not sick."

Joel rolled his eyes. He realized that he had to fend for himself. And so he held the baby with one hand and searched the kitchen cupboards with the other. He found a thermometer, bandages, a hot water bottle, and medicines that he knew were not for children. He took the boy back to the room and took his temperature. He had a fever.

"Teddy, does your tummy hurt?"

"No," the boy moaned.

"And here?" he asked and touched the boy's chest.

"Only the head."

Joel frowned. He stroked the boy's back and said, "Stay here a minute. I'll check on mommy."

"NO!"

Teddy started crying and Joel panicked. He didn't want you to wake up. He quickly lifted his son and began to gently rock him in his arms and place kisses on his wet, hot cheeks.

"Shhh, shhh, 'bear cub', it's okay. We'll go to mom together, but you have to promise me you'll be quiet. Okay?"

The little one whined and nodded his head. Joel breathed a sigh of relief, though he knew he had a rough night ahead of him.

He carefully looked at you and was relieved to see that you were still asleep. By this time, the boy had already fallen asleep and Joel was able to put him to bed.

And so for the next hour, Joel wandered between your room and Teddy's room. Unfortunately, the boy woke up again and started crying.

"I want water," he sobbed.

"I'll bring you."

"Do not go!"

Joel sighed heavily and took the boy in his arms. The boy immediately clung to his body tightly. "We will go together."

Unfortunately, the boy was very moody. When he saw the blue cup of water, he wailed loudly and Joel started to panic. He didn't know what had happened and tried to calm him down.

"It's okay... Shhh, tell me what happened? Teddy, baby, 'bear cub'..."

And as if he didn't have enough problems, You walked into the kitchen. You heard your son cry and your maternal instinct was stronger than your dizziness. You staggered into the doorway and grabbed the doorframe with difficulty.

"Y/N" Joel gasped and immediately started walking towards you.

He wrapped his free arm tightly around your waist while the other still held Teddy, who was crying in his ear. Joel led you to a chair and carefully sat you down. He started rocking your son and you looked at the blue mug on the table and said, "He doesn't like that color. You have to give him a red one."

Joel breathed a sigh of relief and quickly grabbed the red cup. Teddy finally calmed down, drank some water, and fell asleep in dad's arms, but his behavior made you uneasy. You knew that such trivial things as the color of the mug only made him cry when he was ill.

"Joel, does he have a fever?"

The man reluctantly nodded. He didn't want to worry you, but he couldn't lie to you.

"He has a fever and a headache, but otherwise he's fine. He doesn't cough, he doesn't have a runny nose. I've been looking for some medicine for him, but I haven't found anything."

You sighed heavily. "They're over. I was going to go to Anderson's, but... You know."

"I know. If he's not better by morning, I'll go with him to that asshole."

You looked at him scared. "No... I can't do it."

He came closer to you. "Hey, I said I'll go. You will stay. Everything will be fine. I'll take care of everything and now I'll put the little one to bed and come back for you."

"Put him in my bed. I want him close and try to put cold compresses on him to bring down the fever."

Joel nodded and did as you said. He put Teddy in your bed and then came back for you. He wrapped his arms around you to take all your weight. Once you were in bed, he returned to the kitchen and fetched a bowl of cold water and a small kitchen towel. You watched as he knelt by the bed and gently touched Teddy's forehead.

"You have to change the water in a while."

"I know," he said and smiled slightly at you. "Don't worry. I'll be here all the time."

You sighed and closed your eyes. You carefully cuddled up to your little one and hoped that the baby boy would recover by the morning.

Unfortunately, Teddy still had a fever in the morning, like you, he didn't like the idea of visiting Anderson. He cuddled up to you and looked at Joel like he were a traitor. The man reached out to him, but the toddler consistently ignored him.

"Come on, 'bear cub', everything will be fine."

Ellie, who had already come to you, also tried to help. "Teddy, the doctor will just examine you. I and Joel will be with you."

You knew you had to intervene. You gently pushed him away from you and kissed his nose. "Honey, you know Joel will always protect you. Go with them. Mommy needs to stay in bed."

The little boy finally nodded and let Joel take him in his arms.

"Bunny" he sadly whined.

Joel kissed him on the head. "We're going to get your bunny."

After they left, you looked at the teenage girl. "Ellie, make sure he doesn't do something stupid. And I'm not talking about Teddy.”

The girl shrugged. "Okay, but I'm not promising anything."

You fell back on the pillows and closed your eyes. Your head was still spinning and you knew you had to rely on Joel.

*

The atmosphere in Anderson's office was so thick that could have cut it with a knife. The two men stared at each other with pure hatred. Eventually, Ellie intervened. She grunted loudly and muttered, "I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend all day here."

The doctor snorted. "Put him on the table. I'll listen to his lungs."

Teddy immediately moaned plaintively as he was separated from his dad's body. Joel looked at him sympathetically. He kissed his forehead and whispered, "It will only take a moment."

Teddy hugged the stuffed bunny tightly to him. Anderson looked at the little boy irritably and hissed, "Should I examine him or the stuffed animal?"

Joel clenched his jaw. He felt his head start to ache. He'd had a really rough night and was losing his patience with this prick. He carefully took the toy out of his son's hands and tenderly said, "Ellie will take care of your bunny for a while."

Tears welled up in Teddy's eyes, but he nodded and watched as Ellie gently hugged his toy. Meanwhile, Anderson, without any warning, pulled the boy's T-shirt up and held the cold stethoscope to the child's body. Teddy squeaked and jumped. Only Joel's quick reaction saved him from falling off the table.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

Anderson shrugged. "It's not my fault he's as weak as his mother."

And that was enough. Joel handed the boy into Ellie's arms and gently pushed her towards the door. "Wait with him in the corridor."

Ellie nodded her head. She herself was furious with this asshole.

As she disappeared through the door, Anderson hissed, "What, are you going to break my nose again?"

Joel smiled in a way that made Anderson uneasy and he took a step back. Joel pulled a knife from his belt and lunged for the doctor. He pushed him into the chair and with one hand squeezed his throat so that the man couldn't scream.

"No, I'll do something much worse to you," he growled from the back of his throat. "Now listen to me carefully. You will treat my son as your most valuable patient."

Anderson's eyes widened in shock. "Teddy, this is your..."

Joel laughed. "Yeah, and you'd better think it over." He slid the knife into the doctor's crotch. "You have body parts that are not needed. Without them, you'll still be useful."

Anderson swallowed and nodded. "I will be gentle..." he squeaked.

Joel nodded. "All right."

He opened the door and took the boy in his arms. He smiled and kissed him on the head. "Come 'bear cub', Mr. Anderson will be very nice now and apologize to you for hurting you."

He looked at the doctor suggestively, and the man nodded. "I'm sorry Teddy." He started heating the stethoscope and said, "He can stay in your arms while I examine him."

The rest of the examination went smoothly and Anderson was kind and gentle. When he had finished, he said, "Everything seems fine. Did something stress him out?"

Joel frowned. He wasn't sure if Anderson didn't know about your accident or if he was pretending. "Yes. He had a lot of stress yesterday."

The doctor nodded. "This fever, it could be a stress reaction or a mild cold. I'll give you pills, for him. Give him half now, half tonight, and half tomorrow morning. The fever should go down."

*

When they got home, Joel told you how the doctor's visit went. Of course, he skipped the part about the knife threat but you guessed something had happened when your son said, "Mr. Anderson was a bit rude, but then Ellie and I left and when we came back, he was already nice."

You looked suggestively at Joel, and he tried to avoid your gaze at all costs. Then you shot a disappointed look at Ellie. "You were supposed to keep an eye on him."

Ellie shrugged. "This as..." Joel grunted significantly. "This fool, he deserved it."

You shook your head and hugged your son as he began to fall asleep. You didn't really care what Joel did. All that mattered was that he got Teddy's medicine.

*

After three days, you finally felt fine. You weren't dizzy anymore and you didn't lose your balance. Your son's fever has also stopped. It was evening when you got up and decided to eat something. There was an unusual silence in the house. It was still early, but Teddy was already asleep, tired from the impressions of the last few days. But where was Joel? He took care of you all the time and you were impressed with how well he handled everything.

You walked into the living room and saw him sleeping on your couch. He looked so peaceful and you didn't have the heart to be mad at him for falling asleep in your house. You guessed he was dead tired after two nights of watching over you and Teddy. Plus, you knew your sweet little son turned into a little monster when he was sick. One minute he wanted juice, the next he was spitting it out and crying that he didn't want juice. And maybe he got it from you. Well, maybe, just maybe, you had Joel bring you a glass of cold water, and after five minutes you decided it was too cold and asked him for hot tea. And he, without whining, without a grimace on his face, obediently went to the kitchen. So yes, he had a right to be tired. You grabbed a blanket from the armchair and gently covered him. Then you crouched down at his face and felt that old sentiment. Joel's hair always looked as soft and fluffy, as your son's. Made to be combed with your fingers. And before you could stop yourself, your fingers had already sunk into his gray curls.

Joel blinked his eyes and you quickly pulled your hand away. He looked at you and started to move, but he was very clumsy.

"Sorry... I'll be up in a minute," he mumbled.

You shook your head, put your hand on his shoulder, and said, "You deserve to rest, sleep."

You saw how tired he was and that he was still half asleep, so when he spoke you weren't sure if he was aware of it.

"I wish I could have looked after you while you were pregnant."

You sighed heavily and understood. That's why he was sad. He wasn't jealous at all that Maria was pregnant. He was sorry because it reminded him of what he had lost and made him feel guilty.

"You're taking care of us now. That's enough," you whispered.

You ran your hand through his hair again and he closed his eyes and purred like a cat. A slight smile appeared on his face, and you thought maybe your son was right. Your touch really made Joel stop being sad.

A/N: Okay, so yeah, I messed up the timelines about Maria's pregnancy. I just forgot to mention it before, and it suited me perfectly here. Doctor Google told me that children can have fevers because of stress.

Part V

Part VII

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[cowgurrrl]

Chosen to Deserve

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader (plus platonic!Ellie Williams x fem!reader)

Summary: “How can I teach her some way of being human that won’t destroy her? I would like to tell her, Love is enough, I would like to say, Find shelter in another skin. I would like to say, Dance and be happy. Instead I will say in my crone’s voice, Be ruthless when you have to, tell the truth when you can, when you can see it.” - Margaret Atwood [3.6k]

Warnings: all the drama of coming into Jackson, sibling turmoil, talks of Sarah and Jane, arguing, reader and Joel are both kinda dicks in this one but I get it

You hear the horses hooves before Joel can. You grab Ellie's arm and turn to run in the opposite direction when another masked person on a horse comes running up. At least a dozen of them flanking you on both sides and they all have weapons pulled. You don't even try to reach for your gun, and Joel does the same, pushing Ellie and you behind him and raising his hands. You and Ellie follow suit but keep her close enough for your hands to brush against each other. Her breathing is uneven and scared. Joel and one of the men have a conversation, but you can't focus on it. All you care about is Ellie. The man Joel was talking to gestures his gun at her.

"Take five steps back."

"She's not going anywhere." You say, and Joel mumbles your name. 

"Shut the fuck up." The man spits.

"Easy," Joel jumps in. You don't know whether he's talking to you or the horseman, but you glare at him anyway. He ignores it and looks past you at Ellie, nodding at her. "You'll be okay." He says. She looks at you for confirmation, and your jaw clenches, but you nod at her scared eyes.

"Do what they say." You say gently, and she carefully takes several steps back. You turn your head to watch her, but a gun cocking turns your attention back to the people surrounding you. The man who told you to shut the fuck up is staring at you through squinted eyes, his shotgun pointed in your direction. You get the message. But she's too far away. You can't even see her in the corner of your eye. You want to grab her wrist and bring her back to you, but you don't move. The man whistles, and a dog appears out of nowhere. You can't remember the last time you saw a dog that wasn't feral. 

"Last chance for a bullet," he says. "If you've been infected, he'll smell it, and he'll rip you apart." The dog barks and thrashes against the leash, and you hear Ellie gasp in fear. Goddammit, you think as the dog slinks over to Joel, smelling his shoes. There's no way out. You're too slow, and there are too many guns. You'd barely get your hands on your weapon before they'd kill you. 

The dog jumps up on Joel and rears her head back. No one shoots. It must be her clear signal. The dog is called back before she's rereleased, this time to smell you. She repeats the action, and your shoulders drop. 

"Satisfied?" You ask, and Joel says your name again like he's scolding you. 

"One more." The man says as he rereleases the dog. She starts walking toward Ellie, and your heart beats in your face. You can hear her feet shuffling backward in the snow, and the dog growls at her. Your ears ring as you wait for the dog to knock her to the ground or worse. A bark pierces the air, and Joel jolts with the sound, but Ellie's laugh stops you from running toward her. You turn and see her giggling in the snow with the dog licking her face, completely safe. The dog is called back, and Ellie makes her way back to you. Nobody cocks a gun or yells at her to stop. 

"You just bought yourself ten more seconds," the man says. "What are you doing out here?"

"I'm just lookin' for my brother," Joel says. A woman makes her horse walk forward, and you tuck Ellie behind you. 

"I'm okay." She whispers, but you don't say anything. You just watch Joel and the woman. She asks his name, and he tells her. She turns back to the man who yelled at you and says something you can't quite hear. 

"Lower your weapons!" The woman yells. No one even flinches or tries to question her. They just do it. "We're taking them back with us." 

In a few minutes, you're each given a horse and are told to follow the group. The journey "back" to wherever they're leading you takes about ten minutes, and the massive fort-like gate leaves you speechless. Joel glances back at you and Ellie and raises his eyebrows as if to say, "getta loada this shit." You shake your head and glance at Ellie, who has a ghost of a smirk on her lips. 

Once you're through the gate, a small city reveals itself. There are people. Like, lots of people. None of them show weapons or look up when you pass. You even see small kids chasing each other with pink cheeks and too-big hats. You can't look at them for too long. There are stores full of food and warm clothes, shoemakers, fucking ironsmiths. You almost think you've fallen into an alternate dimension. You and Joel seem to land on the same person as you get further into town.

He has long curly hair and a dark mustache though he has the same patches Joel has in his beard. They hold themselves the same way, you realize. Like there's too much weight on their backs, but they're doing their best to hold it anyways. He looks good. Healthy. Definitely not in whatever danger you and Joel thought he was in the whole time. Joel calls his name, and Tommy comes bounding down the scaffolding and into his older brother's arms. It's sweet and, by the looks of it, desperately needed by both of the men. 

You turn to look at Ellie and see her looking a little lost and the tiniest bit jealous as she watches the teary reunion. You nudge her with your elbow and mouth, "What a baby" to get her to smile. She gives you a small one but falls back into her pensiveness. You slide off your horse to shake Tommy's hand and introduce yourself.

"And this is Ellie," you say, gesturing to Ellie. She smiles and waves but doesn't get off her horse. 

"Y'all hungry?" Tommy asks, and that gets Ellie's attention. She finally comes down to the ground, and you all walk to the dining hall. 

It's the first hot meal you've had in months. You do your best not to scarf the food down like you want to and keep your manners around Tommy and Maria. Ellie, however, doesn't really care. Joel tries to correct her, and you give him a look. 

What? His raised eyebrows ask.

Leave her alone. You jerk your head in her direction.

Look at her. He widens his eyes.

Stop. You roll your eyes and look at Tommy with a smile.

"So, how long have you been in Jackson?" You ask, and he takes a deep breath.

"Uh, a few years now. I bounced around for a while before settlin' here." He says with a soft smile that reminds you of early mornings with Joel. You have to look away. 

"Ma'am, we're grateful for your hospitality and all, but it'd be nice to have a moment here just for family," Joel says, looking at Maria pointedly. You elbow him in the ribs, and he gives you another look. 

"What?" He hisses.

"You're being rude." You whisper. 

"You fuckin' hit me."

"Actually, uh..." Tommy says, reaching for Maria's left hand to bring the matching wedding rings to your attention for the first time. "Maria is family."

It's been a long day. You haven't seen Joel since he and Tommy disappeared into the bar this afternoon. Maria showed you and Ellie an available house you can stay in for the entirety of your time in Jackson, however long. She's been nice to Ellie, but she's made it clear she doesn't care for you or Joel. You're sure she's heard stories from Tommy about Joel and, therefore, can make assumptions about you. Still, she hasn't said anything explicit to you. You expect there to be a fight, though. There's no way there won't be one. 

After you take showers and put down your heavy packs, Maria silently takes you to watch a movie in the same place you ate lunch. About halfway through, you glance at Ellie, settled in a chair, and decide to sneak out to the general store for supplies. It takes longer than you thought it would, but you find a new hat and gloves for Ellie. It'll be worth it for when you have to get back on the road. You’re excited to show her but she’s locked in her room when you returned to the house. You try getting her to talk to you, but she doesn’t even open the door. She just yells at you to ask Joel.

"Do you wanna tell me why Ellie is sulking in her room?" You ask as you turn the corner and walk into what used to be the primary bedroom. You find him sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. 

"We got in a fight," he grumbles, pulling his head out of his hands to look at you. "Doesn't matter. Tommy's takin’ her to the Fireflies in the morning."

"What?" You ask. What the fuck did they talk about while they were alone? 

"She'll be safer with him. Tommy knows Jackson better than anybody. It's better this way."

"I'm sure his pregnant wife would disagree with you."

"Don't start with that."

"This isn't Tommy's fight, and you know that. He doesn't even know about her and-"

"I told him," he says. You blink at him as you try to wrap your brain around what he just said. Anger rolls through you. It wasn't his place to tell Tommy without consulting you first. He can't keep making decisions about her without talking to you. "I told him everythin’, and he agreed to do it. Said it would take him a few days, but he would be fine."

"You're serious." It's meant to be a question, but it sounds more like a statement. His eyes are heavy as he nods. 

"We were gonna go our separate ways soon enough."

"You promised Tess."

"I said a lot of shit I didn't mean," he snaps. "You should go with 'em if you think it's so unsafe. I'm sure they could use the extra hands."

"And what're you gonna do?"

"Go back to Boston and forget this ever happened." He says without hesitation. The implication that you would be on his list of things to forget hits somewhere deep in your chest. You start pacing, unsure of what to do with the buzzing behind your molars.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Joel, really? You got into a fight with a fourteen-year-old, and now you're gonna hightail it back to Boston? Just like that?" You scoff, and he stands from his place on the bed, getting in your face. You square your shoulders in a silent dare. 

"She brought up Sarah." 

"And Jane," you say. "And Tess. And Bill and Frank. And Sam and Henry. You really wanna keep going? Because I can play this game all day."

"Tommy is takin' her to the Fireflies. End of story." He tries, and you squint at him. 

"Oh, so you're abandoning her with someone else because it's more convenient for you? Sounds real familiar." 

"Fuck you."

"Fuck me? I'm not the one going back to Boston because I'm afraid of a kid." 

"It ain't about her. It's about Tommy-"

"Knowing this area better. I get it. But you know what he doesn't know? Ellie," you say. He wavers, stepping back a little, but you don't let him go that easy. "He doesn't know how to take care of her like you do. We've been traveling with her for six fucking months, and now you just want to dump her on someone else because it's hard? Because she brought up your kid? Huh?" You ask, but he doesn't say anything. He just stares past your face. "She's fourteen, Joel. Her job is to push your buttons just to see what comes out. She takes her anger out on you because she trusts you to handle it. She trusts you. We both do. But I swear to God, Joel, if you do this..." You're not sure what threat you wanted to tack onto the end of that sentence, but it dies in your throat. Your chest is pressed against his, and your breathing is ragged. You step away, finally, and make for the door. 

Originally, you were going to sleep in bed with him. He even joked about it when Maria mentioned something about the house before you split off. Now, you'll sleep on the fucking couch if you have to. You're angry. You should be slamming doors and stomping down the stairs, but your hand lingers on the doorknob for some reason. You turn back to him. 

"D'you really think you're the only person who hurts when you look at her?" You ask. "She... she is everything Jane will never be. I know that. But she's not Jane. And she's not Sarah. She's Ellie, and she needs help. If you can't handle that, then fine. Go back to Boston, but don't blame a kid for something you can't face." 

Joel is gone by the time you wake up. No note. No goodbye. Nothing. He even made the bed, so there'd be absolutely no proof he was ever here. You want to fight with him again. You want to yell at each other until you figure it out or come to a place of understanding. You want him to want to figure it out with you. But the world has never been kind enough to care about what you want. So, you brush your teeth, wash your face, and push thoughts of Joel away. You have to get her to the Fireflies safely. One of you should fulfill the promise you made Tess. 

When Tommy arrives on the doorstep with a sympathetic look and a rifle slung over his shoulder, you smile softly at him before opening the door wider. He shuts the door behind him as you move to the living room and pull your boots on. He walks over and plays with the blanket swung over the back of the couch. 

"You know, there are beds upstairs." He says, and you nod. 

"Joel and I got into a fight." You say. He's married. He should know how it goes.

"Seems to be a recurring theme with him." 

"Yeah," you finish tying your bootlaces and sit back to look at him. "You really don't have to do this, you know."

"I know. I just... feel like I owe him," he shrugs, the rifle moving with his shoulders, and you sigh. "Plus, Maria's already mad at me bout it. Might as well finish it."

"Both the Miller men seem to be battin' a thousand this week." You laugh. There's movement upstairs, and you take a deep breath. Tommy reaches out and squeezes your shoulder, and you let him. In the twenty-four hours you've known him, you've realized Tommy is gentler, softer than Joel is. Still, Joel told you the stories of how the hot desert sun beat down on Tommy's baby face as he held a gun bigger than him. You know he's just as dangerous as Joel. You just wish Joel bore it as well as Tommy does. 

"I should go talk to her." You mumble as you stand. He nods and wishes you good luck before walking up the stairs toward Ellie's room. 

A closed door has never been as ominous as this one. You push through the pit of dread in your stomach and knock on the wood, only opening it when you receive a response. Then, like watching fall leaves, you watch her shoulders drop in disappointment. She thought—no, hoped— you were Joel. You walk over and sit next to her on the window seat, putting a hand on her knee and squeezing affectionately. You sit like that for a moment before Ellie frowns at you.

"I really thought he would change his mind." She whispers.

"Yeah, me too." You whisper back. She purses her lips and shakes her head like she's scolding herself for getting her hopes up. You squeeze her again, but she doesn't say anything. She just gets up, throws her backpack over her shoulders, and trudges down the stairs. You sigh and look up at the ceiling, racking your brain for the best way to turn her mood around before following her. 

The walk to the stables is silent. You're each trying to settle into this new dynamic, but none of you like it. That seems to be the only thing clear about this whole situation. As you walk through the horse stalls, Tommy tells you something about the distance or the terrain or something. You lose track when you see Joel saddling up the horse you were coming to get.

"You came here to say goodbye or something?" Ellie snaps, but Joel doesn't even turn from what he's doing.

"No. I came here to steal one of these horses and go." His voice is strained, like he's been crying. Had he been crying? In the years you've known Joel Miller, you've never seen him cry. 

"I woulda gave you one." Tommy chimes in, and Joel nods.

"I know," he says, finally looking at the three of you. His eyes linger on yours before he looks down at his boots again. "Anyway, that was thirty minutes ago, and I guess..." he trails off and starts walking to Ellie. "You deserve a choice. I still think you'd be better off with Tommy-"

"Let's go." Ellie cuts him off, shoving her bag into his chest with enough force to make him stumble. You fight a smile as you glance between them. This, you think. This is how it's supposed to be. 

"Okay," Joel says. Ellie walks past him and to the horse, petting his nose and whispering sweet things. Tommy and Joel share a look of understanding before his eyes flick to yours. "D'you mind givin' us a minute?" He asks Tommy, and he shakes his head. He takes the horse Joel saddled up and Ellie outside before walking to the back of the barn to get another one ready. The air between you is thick as you stare at him, the dried tear marks on his cheeks catching the light, and you should be mad at him. You should curse at him and push him, but you don't. 

"You made Ellie really happy." You say instead. He nods and takes a step into you. 

"Only Ellie?" He rasps. You take a deep breath and press your tongue into your cheek, fighting the impulse to make a snarky comment. He can see the struggle and smirks devastatingly at you.

"I'm happy," you say. He takes another step closer, his chest hitting flush against yours, and you breathe in the mint toothpaste he used this morning. His lips ghost over yours, but you pull back and look at him intently before he can kiss you. "If you ever make me yell at you like that again, I will make your life a living hell, Miller."

"Promise?" He asks, a teasing lilt to his voice, and you raise your eyebrows at him. "I'm sorry for bein' a dick. I should've listened to you from the start. I'm sorry," he mumbles as he kisses you. "'M sorry." Kiss. "'M sorry." Kiss. "'M sorry." He trails down your neck, whispering apologies into your skin. You tilt your head to give him a little more room, relishing in the scratch of his beard against your pulse, when you hear Ellie's voice from outside. You slap his shoulder to get his attention, but he doesn't move. 

"Cool it, cowboy. There are kids around." You say, and he chuckles.

"Kid," he corrects. "And she's not payin' attention." He says, lifting his head to kiss your lips again. It feels like it's been forever since you've had a moment like this with him, probably since before Tess died. Still, he tastes familiar, and the press of his lips against yours is a comfort. You indulge in it for a few more seconds before pulling away.

"We have to go." You whisper, your voice wrecked from the effect he has on you, and he groans.

"Okay, okay." He relents, prying himself from you, but you catch his wrist before he can get far.

"I'm serious about what I said. I don't wanna feel like I did last night ever again." You say, and he presses his lips into a line before intertwining your fingers.

"I'm sorry for the fight. For bein' a dick. Everything. I'll do anything I can to never do that to you or Ellie ever again, okay?" He says. Reluctantly, you nod and decide to forgive him. You don't have time to be mad at him, and there's nothing you can do to change the past. You can only keep moving forward.

"Okay," you agree. "But Ellie deserves an apology, too." 

"Of course." He agrees easily. It's the least friction you've ever had while talking to him. You smile and kiss him one more time before you two walk out to where Ellie and Tommy are waiting with two saddled-up horses. The brothers bid each other a private goodbye, and you thank him for everything. He gives you directions as Joel pulls Ellie up on the horse to settle behind him, and you listen, too, in case Joel forgets something. 

Then, as quietly as you arrived, you leave Jackson and its inhabitants for whatever the Fireflies have in store for you three. 

[olliesasimplething]

Thanks to @lavendercoloredglasses for the hurt/comfort suggestion! This took it out of me ngl.

Of course, I had to draw the aftermath of Abby's beat down. Ellie definitely thought she was dead for a while

[elliesdin0saur]

Couch Chronicles.

The last of us

pairing: Ellie x reader

summary: Reader is having troubles eating because they're in rough times, Ellie helps her partner through a rough day with a warm bowl of soup, cuddles on their favorite couch, and a dash of unconditional love.

word count: 1,1K

warnings: brief mentions of someone not wanting to eat and not taking care of themselves properly.

a/n: first thing I put on here so its a shorter one, lmk what you think or what you'd want to read!

PS: Requests are open lovelies x

As the day turned into evening, casting a warm, amber glow over Jackson, Ellie strolled purposefully through the familiar paths of the settlement. Each step had a reassuring crunch on the gravel beneath her boots. The air held a crispness hinting at the upcoming night, and a gentle breeze whispered through the trees.

Her home was just ahead, a haven of worn wooden panels that told countless stories. Ellie pushed open the door, greeted by the familiar creak that marked the entrance to a place filled with shared memories. With her backpack casually slung over one shoulder, she entered.

"Hey, babe, I'm home!" Ellie's voice, with a mix of affection, echoed through the cozy space. The response was a quiet murmur, a voice that was lost in its own thoughts. With a frown, Ellie followed the sound to the living room.

In the dim light, you sat on the old couch, wrapped in the subtle glow of a candle you had lit earlier that night. Your eyes held a distant gaze, as if tracing the contours of a past that still lingered.

"Rough day?" Ellie asked, genuine concern on her face as she approached you on the couch. You sighed, a sound heavy with unspoken burdens. Ellie settled beside you, the worn out couch sinking slightly under the combined weight.

"Wanna talk about it?" Ellie's voice, a gentle breeze in the quiet room, hung in the air. She softly looked at you, her eyes showing a hint of worry. You hesitated, your eyes fixed on a point in the distance. Eventually, you shook your head. "Not now, Ellie. I just- I don’t want to think about it right now”.

Ellie still remains worried, though she has always respected your boundaries. She softly nods, not wanting to pry you. She glances over at the kitchen, noticing it being very clean. Unlike the mess you’d make when you cooked, she never mind it though, finding it cute how much effort you’d put into dinner for her.

Ellie's brows furrowed with concern. The room, once a safe haven, now witnessed the delicate dance between two souls navigating the labyrinth of emotions. Ellie's arm found its place around your shoulders, a silent reassurance in her language of touch. 

“Babe? Did you eat any dinner?”

Ellie hadn’t been around for dinner, quickly eating with Jesse on patrol. She had brought over some soup from

Jacksons cafeteria she knew you loved, still waiting in her backpack. Though she had assumed you had already eaten, it was clear you hadn’t. Your silence confirming her question.

"Come on, baby . You know you gotta eat," Ellie encouraged, her voice a soothing lullaby. "I brought your favorite – that chicken soup you love."

A faint smile danced on your lips, a brief break in the storm of emotions. You loved how she always thought about you, remembering every little detail. Though you quickly felt your throat enclosing on you, feeling guilt wash over again.

"I just can't, Ellie. Not today."

Ellie sighed, frustration brushing against her concern. Her thumb traced gentle circles on your shoulder, a silent plea for understanding. “Babe, you can't keep doing this to yourself. You gotta take care of your body."

"I know, Ellie, I know," you whispered, your voice a delicate echo of remorse. "It's just... hard."

Another sigh, but this time, a resignation settled in Ellie's features. She pulled back slightly, her eyes searching your face. "I hate seeing you like this. I hate that you're hurting, and I can't do anything about it."

You met Ellie's gaze, and in that moment, a silent pact was forged. The frustration transformed into a shared understanding, a recognition of the tapestry woven by scars and healing. "I just want you to be okay. You mean everything to me," Ellie murmured, her touch a tender caress as she brushed a strand of hair away from your face.

Your eyes glistened for a bit, and you softly  leaned into Ellie's touch. Craving the sense of comfort, "I know you do, Ellie. And I appreciate it more than I can say."

Ellie leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Let me help you, okay? I can't stand seeing you suffer like this."

You finally gave in and softly nodded, a silent acknowledgment that spoke volumes. Ellie, determined to shift the atmosphere, rose from the couch and ventured into the kitchen, as she pulled out a container of cookies, their aroma wafting through the air. With purposeful intent, she arranged them on the table. A thoughtful pause, and she disappeared into the pantry.

The return was accompanied by the scent of home-cooked chicken noodle soup, the warmth of familiarity permeating the air. Your eyes, surprise mingled with gratitude, followed Ellie's every move. She slowly moved towards you on the couch with the hot bowl in her hands, hissing a bit at the warmth as she placed it down.

You managed a small smile, touched by Ellie's effort. "You didn't have to, Ellie."

"Yeah, well, I wanted to," Ellie replied with a playful smirk.

"Now, come here."

A subtle invitation, and you acquiesced. The living room became a sanctuary once more as you both settled on the couch, Ellie cradling you in her lap. A shared warmth enveloped you, transcending the mere physicality of your connection.

"I love you," Ellie whispered, her breath a gentle caress against your ear. "And I want you to be okay."

You sighed, leaning into the embrace. You didn’t know how you got so lucky with Ellie, she knew just the right ways to help you get going again. “I love you too, Ellie. I'm just... struggling."

"I know, baby," Ellie murmured, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. "But we're in this together, okay? You don't have to face it alone." She softly smiled as she reached for the bowl and spoon, putting it gently on your lap, encouraging you to at least try some.

Silence settled, the only sounds the occasional slurp of soup and the distant crackling of the fireplace. Ellie's fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, a silent pledge of unwavering support. 

“Good-job, take your time okay”, she gently whispered as she played with your hair, soothing you as you lifted the spoon again, halfway through the soup. 

As you finished the soup, Ellie couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Small victories, she mused, placing the empty bowl on the table.

"You did good, my love” Ellie praised, her tone light. "I knew you could do it." She pressed a kiss on your cheek, softly smiling as her face showed some pride.

Gratitude emanated from your eyes, a soft glow that mirrored the warmth filling the room. "Thanks, Ellie," you murmured, your voice carrying the weight of appreciation and vulnerability. "I... I really needed that."

Ellie's eyes, tender and understanding, met yours. In that gaze, you found a sanctuary, a place where your struggles were acknowledged, and your victories celebrated. She leaned in, her lips brushing against the top of your head in a gentle kiss. The touch was a feather-light caress, but it spoke volumes – a language of love, comfort, and unwavering support.

"Anytime, baby," Ellie whispered, her breath a sweet promise against your hair. The endearment, spoken with a tenderness that melted the remnants of tension, painted a smile on your lips. "You're worth it."

In that moment, as Ellie held you close, you couldn't help but marvel at the depth of her care. It wasn't just about the soup; it was about her unwavering presence, her willingness to navigate the complexities of your struggles. 

You lingered in the embrace, the room filled with a quiet reassurance. Ellie pondered the delicate dance you navigated – the echoes of the past, the path to healing, and the creation of a future sculpted by love and understanding.

"Ellie?" Your voice cut through the silence, a vulnerable timbre. She softly looked up at you, nodding.

"Yeah, babe?”

Your voice trembled with regret as she confessed, her words hanging in the air like delicate petals. "I'm sorry for putting you through this."

Ellie, still cradling you in her warm embrace, felt the weight of those words. She tightened her hold, pulling you closer, and buried her face in the soft strands of your hair. "Don't apologize, my love” Ellie whispered, her breath a gentle caress against your ear. 

"We're a team, you and me. I'm here for you, no matter what. We'll get through this together."

In that moment, Ellie's heart swelled with a mixture of love and determination. She couldn't bear to see you this burdened by guilt. To Ellie, every challenge you faced together was an opportunity to strengthen the bond you shared.

You nodded, your gratitude palpable in the subtle movements of her body. Ellie pressed a tender kiss to the top of your head, a silent reassurance that conveyed more than words ever could.

"I'm lucky to have you, Ellie," you admitted, voice a soft melody of affection. Ellie couldn't help but smile, her heart fluttering with affection. "And I'm the luckiest," she replied, her words a testament to the depth of her feelings. In the sweet little moment , Ellie realized how your love had grown, not just in the laughter-filled days but also in the quiet strength you found in each other during moments like these.

"Now, how about we forget about the tough stuff for a while? I was thinking we could watch a movie, just the two of us.”, she asks, a small smile tugging at her lips. Your smile, fragile yet genuine, illuminated the room. 

"Sounds perfect Els.”

===

[penvisions]

return the favor {{masterlist}}

Fandom: The Last of Us (TLOU), will mostly follow the timeline and events of the HBO show, but will pull lore and tidbits from the games as well!

Pairing: Post-Outbreak! Joel Miller x Smuggler! Reader

Summary: With a past as rich as anyone in the times after the Outbreak, you find your medical and survival skills to be a valuable asset. You were dropping off some medical supplies that FEDRA was willing to pay big for when you got tangled up in a mission that involves a teenager with a mouth almost as smart as yours and gruff older man whose graying curls were his only redeeming quality. But the longer you traveled with them and the more that happened out in the open land of what once was, the more you find yourself connecting with them and wanting to protect them both at any cost.

Word Count: 131.5k - ongoing

Warnings: canon typical language, canon typical violence, canon typical gore, description of injuries, description of anxiety, symptoms of anxiety, tense situations, sexual content, sexual propositions, smut, p in v, unprotected p in v (pls don’t do this w/o previous communication w/ your partner), joel’s emotionally constipated 

chapter 1 || chapter 2

chapter 3 || chapter 4

chapter 5 || chapter 6

chapter 7 || chapter 8

chapter 9 || chapter 10

chapter 11 || chapter 12

chapter 13 || chapter 14

chapter 15 || chapter 16

chapter 17 || chapter 18

chapter 19 || chapter 20

chapter 21 || chapter 22

chapter 23 || chapter 24

[elliespeach]

the air that i breathe part two | ellie williams

pairing: ellie williams x afab reader wordcount: 4k synopsis: a camping trip you and ellie embark on takes a devastating turn. with you in the hands of raiders ellie's sanity is brought to her breaking point and she will stop at nothing to get you back. warnings: 18+ ellie n readers headspace is very dark!! depression, panic attacks, horrible desperation, and lots of trauma responses that are vividly described. graphic depictions of violence, kidnapping, reader is confined in a cell by chains, food/water deprivation, hallucinations, there is animal death in this part, ellie is basically santa barabra ellie but multiply it by thirty n reader is like trapped in the dark so i think that counts as claustrophobia. this fic can b very triggering so pls take the tags seriously!! there is little to no fluff in this part my bad author note: hiiii im sorry this took me so long to get out and its not even as long or as good as i want it to beeee. i have been struggling with motivation and this is as much as i could bring myself to do! so sorry for another cliff hanger,, it wasn't suppose to be like that but i am lazzyyy and depressed i hope this worthy

 readers pov – present 

“ellie, wake up–” you begged, pulling your chain as far as you could go. you were nearly dislocating your leg to try to be near her, but the chain only allowed you to go so far and ellie was on the other side of the room. it was dark again, after knocking her out the man had heaved ellie to the far side of the basement, and propped her limp body against the wall. you pleaded with him but he didn’t utter a word and promptly flipped off the lights and harshly slammed the door. spewing curses and mumbles under his breath that you dared not decipher. 

your heart ached, as if it wasn’t already. she was here, she was saving you and now it was like all hope had been ripped away. you wanted to cry, scream and shout but your energy was depleted. the man had also taken her backpack that had been laying by the door, leaving you utterly helpless yet again. you had grown accustomed to the dark in your time held prisoner, time still didn’t make any sense to you. but you knew it had only been a few minutes since he slammed the door, but the silence was taken over by the clicking of the lock and you swiftly backed up to the wall again. 

the door opened and the lights flicked on, through your stinging eyes you could see it was a woman. she didn’t acknowledge you at all and just walked over to ellie and it was then you saw she had a similar but smaller chain. “we can give you anything, just let us go home,” you whispered while the woman knelt down and began to wrap up ellie’s leg with the chain. she shook her head, not answering. “please, we can trade with you. we can forget all of thi–” you were cut off by the sound of an explosion from outside and the woman snapped her head towards the open metal door. she said something under her breath before sloppily attaching the restraint to the hook in the wall. 

she tugged on it, making sure it was in place. meanwhile gunfire erupted from the streets, the sound making it’s way all the way down into the basement and the woman looked panicked while she made her way towards the door, not even glancing at you once. as if she couldn’t bear it. “don’t do this! don’t leave us here!” the strain in your voice was prominent, the desperation even more so and she stopped in the doorframe, her back to you but you knew she was contemplating something. a glimmer of hope sparked in your chest, the woman didn’t turn around but she swiveled her head to the side not looking at you fully but just enough for you to know you had somewhat gotten through. the gunfire was louder than ever, distant screams could be heard as well and you worried that if they all died you two would rot down here forever. 

a mumbled, “i’m sorry,” came from the woman, you barely heard it with everything going on above ground. her fingers hovered over the light switch for a quick second, she finally took a good look at you and quickly reverted her eyes to the floor. the woman took her hand back, leaving the light on before shutting the door behind her. another explosion from the streets made the floor rattle beneath you, dust falling from the now cracked ceiling above you. but you were focused on ellie and again you brought yourself to the middle of the room to be closer to her. you could see her hands twitching slightly and you inhaled a sharp breath, “ellie!” you screamed over the muffled shooting, looking back up to the cracked ceiling. her eyes shot open in a panic hearing the world around her and she looked confused as she gazed upon you before her eyes fell to her ankle, wrapped in a chain. 

a loud crashing sound came from above, it wasn’t an explosion but it was definitely something big and you both flinched as it rumbled the room. using her very little energy to leap towards you, she came up short, her restraint stopping her just a few feet from you but it felt like miles. ellie cursed, turning to look at the metal around her ankle before looking back at you, the fear was present in her eyes which troubled you. ellie wasn’t one to fear most things, but in this moment she was terrified. not for herself, but for you. “your chain, ellie–” you spoke, pointing to the wall behind her. there was no time for anything else and ellie immediately turned her head to examine it. 

it was very obviously loose, a few good tugs and it would be out of the wall unlike yours which was bolted in. the woman who had done it being distracted by the events outside, or the guilt. either way, it worked in your favor as ellie began to aggressively try to pull it out of the cement wall. “come on!” she grunted, using all her strength. another explosion above made the room shake and she looked back at you for a quick second, making sure you were okay. returning her focus to the wall she wrapped the chain around her wrist and leaned back. the bolt came flying out of the wall, dust crumbling to the ground below it. 

she swiftly came over to you, cupping your face again, “are you okay? can you stand?” she rushed out, practically yelling over the gunfire that felt like it was getting louder as the time went on. she gently helped you up, propping you against the wall. “get your strength, we’re leaving–” her hands left your body and she picked up the chain that was laying pathetically on the ground. the end of the bolt was thick and heavy and ellie didn’t think twice before slamming it against the lock on the metal door. 

you took deep breaths, trying to place weight on your foot with the metal around it. it stung but you pushed through it as the metal clanging against the lock got more aggressive. you winced but finally put most of your body weight on it, standing up straight only using the wall for minimal support. the pain in your legs was something unlike you had ever felt and for the first time you looked down at them. long and thin slices along your thighs and calf that burned with every move you made. you could barely remember it happening but quick flashes of the man with the scar came to your mind, his sinister laugh as he would drag the blade along your skin. you shut your eyes tight trying to dismiss it, only to open them back up when you heard the lock on the door tumble to the ground. 

“hang on,” ellie called back to you as she flung the door open. now that the door was open, the shooting and the screaming above ground was much louder. you could almost make out the words that were being yelled but you focused on other things, like the pain in your ankle as you put more weight on it. ellie vanished from sight into the exposed basement and your heart fluttered just a bit with her absence, terrified of anything to happen to her and you really would be stuck here. but she returned, a pair of bolt cutters in her hand. she didn’t bother with the metal still around her, instead immediately coming over to you and snapping them off within seconds. she removed the chain around your ankle, being careful not to hurt you but no matter how gentle she was it still seared in pain and whimpers left your mouth. “i know, i know,” she cooed to you as the air hit your raw skin after days of being encased. 

she snipped off her own while you held on to the wall. it wasn’t long before she had her arm wrapped around your shoulder, helping you walk out of the room. it was slow and painful as she guided you up the stairs, the door to the basement was shut and ellie leaned you against the wall again before she pounded at it with her shoulder. it had been locked but it was a hollow door and nothing was stopping her now. three thrusts of her shoulder and the door burst open. “lets hope they are too busy with the raiders to even notice us–” she said, picking you off the wall and bringing you back above ground. 

even in the hallway of the house, the sun was burning into your eyes. the sudden brightness being almost paralyzing and your hands went up to cover them as you trudged on. ellie sat you down on the dusty couch and you took this moment to really recharge as much as you could. you didn’t dare look down at your legs, fearing seeing them again would bring back the man with the scar so you focused on ellie. she crouched down by an open window, observing the streets before her. the fighting was deafening now, guns non stop firing their bullets and the sound of trucks screeching through the streets. ellie’s view was horrendous, dead bodies scattered the street in front of the house. blood pooling everywhere and going down into the drains as if it were water. the people who had managed to stay alive this long were running for cover anywhere they could, yelling for back up as more of their people went down. 

she could see a burning building just up the road, flames as high as she could see and the smoke was clouding the surrounding houses. more people running, more screaming, more gunfire. it was overwhelming for you after days of isolation and you buried your hands in your face. an explosion sent ellie to the floor, it sounded like it was just a few houses down and as she ducked she caught a glimpse of you on the couch. her eyes soften and she crawls to you to stay low, her hands come up to your arms covering your face. “hey, look at me,” she cooed, but you weren’t there, at least mentally. suddenly you missed the isolation and even craved it again, but you knew that was stupid. ellie called your name as softly as she could over the loudness that was your surroundings and you finally met her gaze. her hands wrapping around your bruised wrists. “we’re going home, okay? i promise.” 

all you could do was nod at her, her voice as comforting as it usually was was doing very little for you in this moment. but she sounded confident, and thats all you needed. she helped you up slowly again, you winced as you put weight on your bad foot and ellie’s grip around you tightend and she led you to the door of the house, “won’t they see us?” you asked out of breath as she opened the door. the fresh air hitting you in the face despite the stench of dead bodies filling the air, it relieved you. 

“they’re busy–” she started, helping you down the small steps to the sidewalk. your feet scraped on the wet bloody cement and ellie was already struggling to keep you up, her focus shifting from you to the people fighting for their lives. there was a small group of people to her right across the street, hiding behind the parked car in the driveway. she made eye contact with one of them before hurrying you along, scared that they would somehow recognize one of you. she thinks back to the man she killed alongside the house before she found you, how he didn’t even know you were locked away. to put herself at ease, she assumed everyone didn’t know besides a select few important people in the community, and if there was this bad of a fight going on she knew they would be stowed away for protection. 

ellie was dragging you as fast as she could, the gunfire was blowing her eardrums out, the horrific yelling of people bleeding out all around you two would haunt her for years to come but she kept moving. looking at you every so often to give her the motivation she needed. someone ran in front of the two of you, looking to find cover in the house beside you but fell as quickly to the ground and blood pooled out of them onto the road, their eyes staring blankly up into the sky. ellie looked in the direction of where the bullet would have come from, making sure to keep walking as she did but seeing no one so she quickly brought her attention back to you, helping you step over the body. 

the sounds of horses hooves could be heard over the gunfire, neighing as loudly as they could before being cut off entirely, the gashing sound of flesh filling your ears and your head turned back to where you had just come from. horses laid on the ground, peoples bodies trapped underneath gasping for air before more raiders came to finish the job. ellie was pulling at you, as you had slowed down to take a look, before you turned your head back you caught a glimpse of one of the horses who laid motionless, and despite all the blood you could see a freshly burned J on it’s leg. “ellie–” you said, not taking your eyes off the sight even though your neck was straining itself. your vision focused onto one of the last surviving men trapped underneath the limp horses and your heart leaped. you recognized him, a quiet but friendly regular at the pub in jackson. he always smiled at you, making polite small talk while waiting for his food. you remembered his smile but now as you looked at him it was hard to imagine, his one free hand that wasn’t being crushed under the weight of the horse going up to defend himself. but the raider showed no mercy and immediately fired a shot into his head and ran back down the street in the opposite direction. 

your mouth opened, a gasp coming out but ellie didn’t turn around to see it, her focus was on getting you out. “ellie, its jackson–” you uttered, your head turning back to face front. your eyes were permanently widened and you just stared at the ground as she kept pulling you along the sidewalk. “it’s not raiders.” you finished and ellie took a glance around, seeing more and more people scramble out into the streets. she witnessed a woman fall onto her back after running from  behind a small house, she tried desperately to get back up, her hands sinking into the grass for balance, barely pulling herself back off the ground before another familiar face came into view, shooting her straight through the back and her face fell into the grass, lifeless. it was eugene, he started to reload his gun before his eyes met ellie’s, and she quickly redirected her stride towards him. 

“thank god,” she mindlessly uttered beside you as her feet brought both of you towards him. she quickly realized how scary the situation you two were in if it was just raiders. how unlikely it would have been to get out of her unscathed, but seeing eugene lit a fire inside of her. 

he called your names as you got closer, meeting you both about halfway there. his eyes scanned over you, taking notice of how badly you’ve been hurt and he handed ellie a small pistol. “you guys okay?” he asked loudly, his eyes darting between the two of you and your surroundings. eugene obviously knew you weren’t okay but with all that’s going on, what else could he possibly say? he walked back slowly in between the houses and ellie helped get you there before carefully sitting you down on the grass to rest. your chest was heaving, your ankle burning like never before and all you wanted to do was sleep. ellie and eugene had crouched down, staying as close to the wall as they could get. 

“we’ve been holding them back but we didn’t expect this much resistance–” eugene was rambling. the red staining his clothes was almost identical to ellie’s and he wiped his face to remove the sweat that had built up. “you weren’t supposed to come alone.” he said sternly, looking directly into ellie’s eyes and she brushed him off. 

“joel? tommy?” she asked in a hurry, reloading the pistol in her hands that had been emptied. 

eugene watched as raiders ran down the road, passing the two houses you were hiding between without a second glance. he let out a breath of relief, “they’re here somewhere looking for you,” his eyes focused back on ellie and she kept the pistol firm in her hand, sneaking a look at you and feeling her chest tighten as she watched you struggle to catch your breath. her gaze lingered on you while she responded to eugene.  

“we have to keep moving, they wo–” ellie was cut off, a booming gunshot echoing in her ears and her head snapped to find eugene face down on the ground, a bullet going straight through his skull. instantly, ellie was up on her sore feet, her pistol pointed at the woman who stood behind eugene. the woman's gun pointed directly at you instead of ellie. 

“this is because of you–” the woman spoke with tears in her eyes, she was small, bony even. like she hadn’t had a proper meal in days. she didn’t look very threatening but ellie wasn’t taking any chances and kept her aim firm on the woman's head. she was speaking directly to you, ignoring ellie’s gun. “you brought them here!” her words were getting caught in her throat as she spoke, there was blood on her shirt and all over her hands. ellie wondered who else from jackson she had probably killed while you thought about who she might have lost today. either way, you both knew ellie wasn’t letting her walk away. 

“you people did this to yourself,” ellie’s voice was flat and stern, clicking her gun and aiming for her forehead. but the woman didn’t flinch, keeping her gun trained on you along with her gaze. 

“we just needed food, we were starving!” she thrusted her gun forward as a threat. ellie didn’t stagger, keeping her finger right above the trigger. 

“we could have traded, it didn’t have to be like this.” you spoke up from the ground, staring into the barrel of her gun. ellie slowly moved her feet to be in front of you and the woman’s eyes widened and the gun in her hands left you and pointed directly in the middle of ellie’s chest. 

“stop moving!” she shouted very obviously not in her right mind, tears streaming down her face but it’s like she didn’t even notice. her gun was trembling in her hands, compared to ellie who was as still as ever in front of you. a loud crash took the woman's attention away for a split second. ellie used the distraction in her favor and you expected her to fire her gun, but she had other plans. she dropped the gun to her side, pulling her switchblade out as quickly as she could and lunged at the woman in front of her. she tackled her to the ground, straddling over her and jammed the blade straight into her bony chest with a grunt. 

the woman cried out and thrashed her hands around ellie’s face trying to claw her way to freedom but it was too late, her blood came spilling out of her in a frenzy and it was mere seconds before her arms fell to the ground with a thud. ellie picked herself up off the woman, wiping the blood from her blade on her jeans. her eyes met yours and nothing was said about it, or about eugene laying on the ground beside you. instead, ellie helped you up from the ground knowing you had to get moving now. you didn’t protest, but you were shocked by her actions despite them being necessary and now you wondered about how she had found you, how she was and still is covered in other peoples blood head to toe. your girlfriend was capable of a lot more than you had realized. 

the two of you stayed behind the houses instead of walking the streets, feeling a little safer with the shield the houses provided. passing by each house, wailing could be heard behind some of the walls, barely noticeable with the shooting still being so prevalent on the street. ellie made a turn between houses and led you up that way, remembering this was close to the entrance to the town and she figured the people who came from jackson would be stationed there to block their exit. 

and she was right, coming out from behind the house you both could see the men on horses in the distance. ellie kept you both covered by the house, waiting for the perfect moment to make a run for it. she feared you two had gotten this far only to be shot so close to getting home. you scanned the faces at the entrance and someone you didn’t know all too well made eye contact with you. he quickly reverted his eyes to someone beside him and they both looked in your direction, they muttered words amongst themselves. there were probably about twelve of them all guarding the entrance, and ellie was desperate to find joel’s face amongst them but she couldn’t make out their faces from so far away. 

and before you could regain any strength to keep going, they threw a small canister into the middle of the road. it landed just a few yards from the two of you and erupted in a puff of smoke and heard a muffled, “GO!” from the gate ahead of you. ellie wasted no time, basically dragging you down the foggy street as you were tripping to keep up. you couldn’t see and you were choking on the fog but you knew you were close, the sound of horses becoming louder and louder with every step. 

there was a break in the fog as you reached the outside of its cloud and you could see them just ahead, their guns were trained behind the two of you just in case raiders came through the smoke. you finally felt safe, finally feeling truly relieved. the gate was about three yards away and ellie was looking harshly for joel or even tommy in the small group but she couldn’t find them. 

thats when the bomb went off, sending you backwards and landing on the ground with such force you couldn’t move. ellie fell just a few feet from you, her ears ringing with fury. the air was knocked out of her and she rolled over, gasping for any air to enter her lungs. her eyes fixed back to the gate, hoping to see the men coming to aid them but the gate itself was blown to bits. pieces of body parts falling out of the sky and onto the cement, her vision was blurry but she could see red. a lot of red it felt almost fake. she tried to push herself up with her arms to get a better look, failing and falling back down to the ground with a shaky groan. she blinked her eyes, hoping to be able to see normal again and she could make out the redness was the group of men, mangled and blown to bits along with their horses. she couldn’t process it and her head was turning to find you, her eyes getting heavier with every blink and she fought to keep them open. 

your eyes were already focused on her, but you didn’t try to move in fear of not being able to if you tried. both of your minds were fried, cloudy messes of shock. being so weak and now mind’s jumbled, you or ellie didn’t fight back when cold hands lifted you from the ground and placed you gently into an armored truck. 

——

tag list: @ohcoolcoolcool @l0v31t @frogtits1 @gold-dustwomxn

[elsmstrss]

i love your hcs 💕 can you write hcs of how ellie williams comforts insecure reader

thank you sm love !! not sure what kinds of insecurities you were looking for specifically so there's a lil bit of everything. also i think i hate how this turned out oops

ellie williams headcannon: how ellie comforts your insecurities <3

tags: ellie williams x fem!reader , lapslock , insecure reader , hurt/comfort , fluff , pet names , ellie typical cursing, mentions of body image and poor self esteem etc. , basically a oneshot at the end lol sorry , not proofread

you're self confidence hasn't ever been very high. it's one of the reasons it took you and ellie so long to become official. you're brain just overthinks everything and it took you a long time to believe ellie whenever she would give you sweet compliments or flirty looks that couldn't possibly be for you, right?

even after you two started dating, the insecurities never really left you. the overthinking lessened and ellie made you feel beautiful, inside and out, but deep down you always held dark thoughts about yourself. and ellie knew this.

anytime you two go out in public, ellie would get stares from anyone. you knew ellie had some flings before you and you couldn't help but feel inferior whenever a pretty girl would come up to ellie while you were together. they would leave suggestive touches on her arms or flirty smiles. seemingly not even noticing your presence.

ellie would always brush them off, but you couldn't help but feel inferior. you already had a hard time believing ellie chose you of all people. you weren't anything special.

one night the thoughts began to become too much, eating you up inside. you were both getting ready for bed when ellie noticed your hesitation to climb into the blankets with her.

"c'mon babe i'm coooold" she teased, arms open and making grabby hands.

"els, maybe i should go back to my place". ellie's tone quickly changes to one of worry, scrambling out of the bed and rushing over to your slumped figure.

"why? are you feeling ok" the back of her hands pressed to your forehead, checking for any hotness there.

you try not to tremble as tears well in your eyes, shaking your head. she's always taking such good care of you and it makes you cry harder.

"hey hey, don't cry. tell me what' wrong, hm?" she guides you to the edge of the bed, plopping down next to you and tucking you into her neck. "talk to me petal, let me help". her voice oozed comfort and her body was so warm. you couldn't stop yourself before you spilled your guts. "y-you deserve better els"

"huh? what are you talking about?" you try and explain the insecurities you felt, feeling dumber for them by the second as ellie's face shows nothing but confusion.

when it finally hits ellie, she can't help but cup your face and pout at your tear stained cheeks. "your my best girl, hm? my favorite. your beautigul, and strong, and the kindest person i know. no one could compare and i love you, only you."

her words were like a blanket that consumed your cold body. you know how hard it is for ellie to express feelings through words. and even though you know it wouldn't fix it, they comforted you.

"i know ellie, 'm just being du-"

ellie surged in and kissed you, effectively cutting you off leaving you breathless.

ellie would never let you talk bad about yourself.

later, jesse and his group had scored a jackpot on a bunch of new clothes. you were excited to get some better clothes for the summer as all you seemed to own was sweaters and jeans.

you locked yourself in the bathroom, trying on a million different things but nothing seemed to look good on you.

a quick knock followed by a "babe let me see" from ellie on the other side of the door. you sigh and stare up at the ceiling before opening the door, revealing your girlfriend leaning against the door frame, arms crossed.

"i look disgusting" you sigh out, examining your self in the mirror once again. you feel arms snake around your waist, pulling you into a chest.

"hey! don't say that about my girlfriend" ellie said, serious but a small quirk in her lips made you roll your eyes. you couldn't help it. what you saw in the mirror repulsed you. it must of shown on your face because ellie's fingers start wiggling at your sides, effectively squeezing a giggle out of you.

"seriously love, you look stunning. remember that." her words make you flush and you nod. the only opinion that mattered was ellie's. you decided to keep the clothes, and maybe they were growing on you.

ellie always praises you, even when your feeling okay. you would just be reading on the couch, hair thrown lazily into a bun, huge sweater drowning your frame and ellie would appear in front of you with a sloppy kiss to the forehead and goofy grin on her face. "what?" you'd ask, confused and kinda annoyed that she distracted you from a really good part of the book.

"nothing your just fucking cute" or "just wanted to kiss a pretty girl, is that a crime"

once, you both were cuddling on the couch, watching some shitty romance film ellie had found on patrol earlier that day. something on the screen made her chuckle, body shifting as she moved her hand right on top of you stomach. the warmth from her palm instantly seeped through your thin shirt and it caused a sharp intake of your breath.

ellie felt your body tense up in her arms, causing her to glance down at the side of your face, "you okay, baby?"

you nod quickly, a small smile that you hoped was convincing. it wasn't. ellie knows you way too well.

ellie's eyes trace your profile down your neck and to her hand. she instantly recognizes her mistake and a sad sigh falls from her lips.

"love, look at me". you pretend you don't hear her and she sighs louder this time. a moment passes and you think that's it when all of a sudden her hands are on your hips, theres movement, and then her face comes into view.

her hands carresses your sides and hips as she stares into your eyes, eyes hard but touches soft. "there's my pretty girl." she breathes out.

"els, the movie-"

"fuck the movie. i wanna watch you instead" she leans in closer, you can see every freckle dusting her cheeks.

her words make you blush and you stare at her lips because the eye contact is just too much.

you feel her finger under your chin, lifting your face, eyes meeting. she dips down, taking your lips in hers. the kiss is gentle and it spreads warmth throughout your whole body. her kisses always make you feel on cloud 9. you don't even notice as her hands start to explore more of your body. your hips, sides, thighs, tummy. her fingers ghost over your nipples, collarbone, neck, jaw. she repeats the cycle twice before you run out of breath.

"so fucking gorgeous" "im so lucky" "need you so bad" words and praises fall from her lips between each kiss to your lips, nose, eyelids.

she lays you on your back, pushing your shirt up above your breasts, leaving you exposed from your neck to below your belly button. "can't believe your all mine". you whine at her words, trying to tug your shirt back down but ellie wont have any of it.

she starts to leave a trail of kisses down your torso. you cant help but freeze up as she nears the most difficult parts.

"it's just me, petal"

you always insisted the lights are off or that your shirts stays on whenever you two are intimate but for some reason you can't bring yourself to say anything this time. ellie just makes you feel so good.

in conclusion ellie loves you very much, and its more than enough for the both of you. so, whenever the love for yourself seems so far away, she just gives you some of hers <3

thank you again for the request anon ! gentle reminder that my inbox is open and requests (or just some ellie brainrot ranting) is always welcome ! tdlr: i have no ideas

[iris0-0]

Basketball player Abby x Cheerleader! Reader

Basketball player Abby who is jealous of you talking to Ellie the entire game (even though she’s your best friend and nothings happening).

Abby: “Why were you talking to her?”

Y/n:” What do you mean Abs? You know she’s my best friend. “ You look at her confused.

Abby: “Why don’t you just go talk to her then.” She says rather harshly.

Your sensitive self can’t take it.

A silent tear slips down your cheek and Abby turns around as she hears small sniffles from your direction.

Abby: “Oh baby, I’m so sorry.” She walks back over quickly pulling you close.

Y/n: “You hurt my feelings.” You cry into her chest.

Abby: “I’m sorry I’m sorry baby.” She says as she tucks a flyaway hair from your ponytail behind your ear.

[elsfavor1te]

some short hc’s maybe of ellie x reader being in a MESSY situationship… constantly trying to be seen with other people to make the other jealous, late night calls, all that. love your writing 🤍

BLURRED LINES.

warnings: collegeau!ellie williams x fem!reader. messy friends with benefits situation. ellie is mentioned as being possessive and toxic but i don’t think she really acts toxic, jus a little possessive. 18+ smut! strap is mentioned, (r receiving). jealous!ellie, jealous!reader, mutual pining, fluffy ending with a bit of angst if you squint, lmk if i forgot anything!

this was fun to write, thanks for the ask anon. <333 (just realized you said short… i hope this is okay😭.

what happened between you and ellie was supposed to be a one time thing. you got high together and fucked, so what?

then one time became two.. and two turned into whenever you both felt like it. of course you both agreed not to catch feelings for the other (as if that shit ever works out).

you didn’t have feelings for her though, you don’t think. and you’re almost positive ellie doesn’t have feelings for you. she’s just—possessive and a toxic asshole.

a possessive and toxic asshole who knows how to make you needy with just a glance.

anyways as it does when anyone is in a friends with benefits relationship in the history of like forever, lines got blurred.

it started with little shit like bringing a plus one to a shitty college party that you knew she’d be at. you’d always deny it if anyone asks but you loved seeing that little glint she got in her eye when you were grinding back against someone in the middle of someone’s dingy kitchen, stepping on the occasional red solo cup.

you knew it made her jealous (if that’s the right word to use?) from the way your conversations went the next time you texted her, wanting to hook up.

‘you free tn?’

‘that bitch with the purple hair not fucking my girl well enough? come over.’

you loved when she called you her girl. it made your stomach erupt in butterflies and your mind swirl in silly ‘what ifs’.

that night when you did come over, ellie was different. not in a bad way by any means.

the way she had your ankle up by her ear as her purple strap pounded you into the mattress was nothing short of heavenly. she’d bend down to whisper in your ear, folding you like a fucking pretzel in the process. “she can’t fuck you like this, hmm?”

you would just moan, back arching into her at the new angle. you never had sex with that girl but if it kept you getting fucked like this? ellie never had to know that.

“answer my fucking question.” her hand would slap your thigh, leaving it burning before she’d soothe her hand over it.

“no- fuck,” you’d whimper, looking up at her with big glassy eyes. “just you els. no one can fuck me like you can.”

she’d be satisfied with that answer.

———

other times it’s the occasional late night facetime. you’d be up already, working on assignments because you’re never caught up.

“hey els. what’s up?” you’d speak into the phone, propping up your phone on your laptop so she could see you.

you looked a mess, messy bun, tank top hanging off of one shoulder and no bra. to ellie you were the prettiest like this— or alternatively when you had just cum and had that relaxed glow as she cleaned you both up.

“nothin, can’t sleep. wanted to call and see if you were awake too.”

your eyebrows furrow, “you always seem tired lately, you okay?”

“m’fine,” she’d laugh gently at your expression. “you worrying about me, sweet girl?”

“mm,” you hum. “just need to make sure my booty call is fully rested.”

it was your turn to laugh now at her faux shocked face. “jus kidding. you were my bestfriend before the whole sex thing of course i worry about you.”

ellie’s would swear her heart tried to jump out of her chest when you said that. “come over.”

“el, i have so much work to do before my class tomorrow.”

“bring it. no sex i promise, just me nd you like before. you can sleepover when you’re done.”

you didn’t need much convincing other than that, starting to pack your stuff into your backpack. ellie would make you stay on the phone as you walked the 3 minutes to her dorm room. she would ask if she could come pick you up instead, then you could walk back together but you denied so she had to settle for this.

———

your heart would clench painfully when she posted one of her usual photo dumps but somewhere buried in there’s a picture of her smiling with some girl kissing her cheek. she looked happy, and her cheeks were that pretty pink color. you would try and think if you ever made her smile like that.

unbeknownst to you, ellie threw that picture in just for you to see it. to throw out some feelers to see if you felt the same way as her, if you’d approach her about it. in reality that was just her friend dina, completely platonic relationship considering shes with her other friend, jesse.

what she didn’t expect was for you to ghost her for a week and a half to the point where she had to show up at your dorm. her eyes would be low and red, needing the courage in the form of weed.

when you opened the door, you’d kind of freeze, not expecting her to be on the other side.

“why are you ignoring me?”

you took notice of her high state, “you’re high.”

“no shit. i’m always high. why are you ignoring my texts?” she would step around you and into your dorm room.

“yes that’s fine, just come in.” you muttered under your breath. “i’m not ignoring you..i’m busy. you know how much i procrastinate. and you’re not always high. don’t say it like that.”

the truth was that you were scared, ridiculously so. after seeing the picture you started to wonder if ellie was out of your league, sure you’re bestfriends and sure you’re having sex but that’s it.

that lead to the realization that you wanted more. you wanted more than casual sex and the occasional hangout. you couldn’t tell her this though. being her bestfriend, you’ve seen the way she breaks hearts, you didn’t wanna be just another girl to her.

“so what? you’ve procrastinated all of your life and you’ve always atleast made the effort to tell me you’d be busy for the week so what the hell is it?”

“ellie.”

your name fell from her lips mockingly.

“can we just not? i don’t wanna talk about it.”

she sits down in your desk chair, turning it to face you and pulling you by the backs of your thighs between her legs. “did i do something?”

you look away, fearing that she may be able to look through your eyes and read your mind.

“look at me.” she’d move one of her hands from your thigh to turn your face back to her. the one hand she left on you felt as if it was burning through the material of your pants and making your stomach swirl. “you remember why you said our friendship has lasted so long? because we communicate. communicate with me, babe.”

you gazed into her attentive green eyes, gently biting on your bottom lip nervously as you debate on telling her the truth. you didn’t know if you were ready to lose your bestfriend to something as silly as catching feelings.

you go against the rationality your brain is screaming at you. “i think- i think i’m in love with you.”

your heart drops and your eyes start to well with tears when she doesn’t say anything and just kind of stares at you.

“i know— i know we said we wouldn’t catch feelings and i’m sorry.” your voice breaks. “i—“

you’re cut off by the feeling of ellie’s lips crashing onto yours. at first you’re shocked and kind of frozen in place but then you move, opening your mouth slightly for her tongue to slip in.

“you— you love me?” she asks, her chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath.

you nod gently, confused at what’s happening.

“i love you. and i can’t believe you fucking folded before i did.”

————

sidenote, this is so them. reader is blue and ellie is grey.

[friendlyneighborhoodhottie]

───𓇢𓆸───────────── Just A Nightmare (Ellie Williams x Reader -Hurt/Comfort-) ───𓇢𓆸─────────────

Ellie has a nightmare about you being taken away from her tlou2 character death spoiler, ptsd

268 Words

♡⁺. ༶ ⋆˙⊹_. ༶ ⋆˙⊹⁺♡

It was almost the break of dawn, and you felt fortunate enough to have a legitimate bed to sleep on. You and Ellie have been traveling for months, and the seasons have changed from the bitter winter to the scorching summer.

The two of you were lucky to meet Dana who was kind enough to give you two a chance. She became a trusted friend, and you three have lived in her farmhouse ever since.

You were sleeping decently until you were awoken by a continuous "no, no, no".

You sat up, rubbing your eyes open, and looked at the source.

"Hey, hey, Ellie." you gently touch her shoulder.

She groaned and said, "Let go of her" still in a REM state.

"It's okay, you're just dreaming," you gently shake her. "Ellie."

The groaning stopped, and you were immediately met with Ellie's arms wrapping around you and holding you tightly.

"It's just...I get these nightmares sometimes...Where I lose you and it just-" She breathed heavily trying to get her words out.

You hold her tightly back.

"I already lost Joel, and I just don't want to lose anyone else. I can't lose you." Her voice trembled, obviously still shaken from that awful dream.

You kiss the top of her head and rub her hair. She's been through so much, you wished you could take all of that pain from her. All you want is to be a light for her.

You rub her back while she begins to calm down, relieved you are really alive and next to her. "You won't lose me." you say gently.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 5

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence

(but this chapter is more fluff)

Part 5

As soon as you left the Jackson gates, you felt like you could breathe again. You left all that shit behind. Maybe it was a bit like running away from your problems, but you needed it. You didn't feel up to the consequences of Joel's actions. And you knew they would be. Anderson still had friends in town who would start whispering behind your back. They'll be looking at you and Joel. There will be rumors and lies. You weren't prepared to fight these people yet. You shifted in the saddle and hugged your son tighter, who was sitting in front of you. You suddenly heard his mournful whine.

"What happened baby?"

"Why Ellie and Joel can't come with us? Is it because I told Joel about Mr. Anderson?"

Your heart broke at the confession of your sweet little one. You immediately kissed his head. "No honey, it's because Anna and Toby don't know them."

"But they might."

"Yes, but first you have to politely ask if they want to meet them."

"Hmm..."

Seeing that your little son is not convinced, you decided to direct his attention to something else.

"Aren't you excited to see your grandparents? Why don't we ask Grandpa Toby to take you fishing?"

Teddy finally seemed happy and excitedly squealed, "Yes! And we'll bake fish for dinner..."

*

For fifteen minutes, Joel had been staring blankly at the empty stall where the horse you rode, had previously stood. He wasn't happy and he wasn't going to hide it. He didn't like your idea, but at the same time, he didn't want to cross any boundaries. He didn't want to pressure you and upset you. Although it was difficult for him, the whole terrible situation with Anderson paradoxically gave him hope. You stood up for him just as he stood up for you. And you didn't take revenge on him. Even though you had a right to. It all made him look at you differently. He remembered how in Boston sometimes he involuntarily looked at you because you were beautiful and sweet. You were a balm to his weary soul.

He remembered how he brushed your cheek last night and you didn't flinch, you didn't push him away. Though it was probably because you were too focused on his words.

He sighed heavily and grabbed his pitchfork to start cleaning up.

You probably still hated him to the core, and he shouldn't be clinging to a stupid piece of hope.

*

As soon as from a distance you saw a familiar wooden house, you began to smile widely.

Anna and Toby were an elderly couple who lived outside of Jackson. Many times they were offered to move, but they preferred to stay in their home. With Jackson, they maintained friendly relations. They exchanged wares with the locals. That's how you met them. They needed a new horse and came to Jackson with a good deal. Teddy was only 8 months old at the time, and you held him in your arms and showed Toby a horse that might suit him. An older couple was delighted with you and your son, whom they quickly began to treat as their own grandson. In the next trade, Anna gave you a blanket she made for Teddy as a gift.

And that's how your friendship began. You visited them from time to time and they always welcomed you with open arms. You felt right at home.

This time it was the same even though they noticed your bad mood right away.

*

Joel heard a soft laugh behind him. He stopped cleaning the bay mare for a moment and looked back. Ellie was sitting on the straw with a book on her lap. He gave her an offended look.

"What?" he murmured.

"This horse will soon shine like a diamond. The rest of the stable is shining too. Aren't you trying too hard?"

"I just want everything to be done right. I don't want Y/N to be mad when she gets back."

At the mention of your name, the teenage girl suddenly look saddened, Joel took a step towards her.

"Do you think they'll come back?" she asked.

Joel didn't want to let on that these terrifying thoughts were bothering him too. You've already disappeared from his life once for years because he hurt you. What if you did it again? But he didn't want to believe it.

"Of course, they will," he replied quickly. "Teddy has his place here, his friends and us. Y/N wouldn't take it all away from him." Ellie nodded and smiled slightly. "Besides, I would have found her then. I wouldn't have let her just disappear a second time."

The girl nodded and pointed to the horse's leg. "You missed the spot."

He rolled his eyes and muttered, "You'd better help me."

"Forget it!"

*

You sat next to Anna on the porch with a mug of coffee and enjoyed the morning calm. In the early morning Toby took Teddy fishing. Your son was so sleepy and excited at the same time. You were sure the little one would need a nap as soon as they got back, and that would give you another two hours of rest.

"So," Anna suddenly began, "Joel is Teddy's father?"

You jumped and nearly spilled your coffee.

"What?" you choked out. "How did you come to that?"

The woman looked at you indulgently. "I've lived in this world for almost seventy years. I see a lot of things. Teddy talks about him all the time. He spends a lot of time with him, but at the same time, you haven't even mentioned him. This suggests to me that Joel is not your new partner, who gets along great with your son. If he's not your partner, I don't believe you'd let a strange man babysit your child. That would be disturbing. So?"

You sighed heavily and nodded your head. "Yeah... Joel is that asshole from Boston who is Teddy's father."

"But he's good for Teddy?"

You looked at her slightly offended. "You know I'd kill him if he hurt him, but... The truth is that Joel is very tender and loving around him. So much so that sometimes it hurts to me saw this." Anna grabbed your hand and gave you a comforting squeeze. "He's not such an asshole anymore... In fact, he's really changed. He... Two days ago he stood up for me and even apologized to me."

Your voice trembled towards the end, which the woman didn't miss. "What's bothering you dear? Don't get me wrong, I'm always happy when you visit us, but this time I feel like we're just an excuse. You're running from something."

You swallowed and muttered, "He's wondering if I'll ever forgive him, and I... I don't know. His presence reminds me of the bad times as well as the good ones. He wasn't always an asshole to me. You know, he helped me sometimes. I was so stupid that sometimes I would take jobs too hard for me just to see him. Like digging trenches. I wasn't making my quota and... He would do it for me. Or he showed me how to hold tools. Now he's doing it again. He's helping me. And again... I feel my heart speed up at the sight of him and I feel warmer and... It shouldn't be like this. I should hate him. What he did should be unforgivable."

You felt a tear roll down your cheek and you wiped it furiously.

"So, you don't want to forgive him."

"If I forgive him, it means I've come to terms with what he did to me."

Anna shook her head. "No. You see, forgiveness is like a broken cup. If someone you love breaks your favorite cup, you have four choices. Not to forgive, give them the broken pieces and tell them to get out of the house. Or you can forgive, accept the loss and throw the broken pieces in the trash. But you can also forgive and not accept the loss. You can glue the pieces together even if the cup is no longer usable, and it will remind you of the loss. Have you seen that glued cup that stands above the fireplace?" You nodded your head. "I destroyed it when I found out Toby cheated on me."

You looked at her shocked. "Toby? Really?"

Anna laughed slightly. "He wasn't always as saintly as he is now. I forgave him but never reconciled that he did this to me, and the glued cup was a reminder to him that I can fix a cup that broke once, but if he does it a second time, then there will be no going back."

You nodded your head and asked, "And the fourth option?"

"The fourth is the worst. You just leave the broken pieces, but you have to remember that the longer those pieces lie on the floor, the greater the chance that somebody innocent will step on them and cut themselves."

You looked ahead and went back to drinking your coffee. Anna gave you a lot to think about.

*

"Fuck, Tommy, just tell me where exactly it is!"

Joel was losing patience with his brother, who consistently refused to tell him where exactly you were.

"They've been gone for four days. Teddy is small and Y/N was nervous. What if she got the wrong way? Or if..."

"Y/N knows the way and..." Tommy sighed and murmured, "Joel, I really understand you. I'd be worried about my baby too, but..."

"Wait! You know?"

Tommy laughed. "Maria told me, but even if she hadn't told me, what would I believe that my brother is playing babysitter just because he likes his neighbor?"

Joel sighed heavily and rubbed his neck. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because then I'd have to acknowledge what you've done," he muttered reluctantly. "Accept what a dick you were."

Joel snorted. "It's easy to judge when you're in nice, clean Jackson, not smelly Boston, where morality isn't something you value. I'm not proud of what I did, but I want to fix it, and I want to be sure, that my baby and his mother are safe!"

Tommy sighed heavily. "Okay. Tomorrow I'll go with you to where she's supposed to be. Satisfied?"

"Yes."

*

You gave Anna a tight hug and Toby put Teddy on the horse.

"I packed you a honey," she said.

"Thank you, for everything."

She smiled at you and gently stroked your cheek. "Whatever you've decided, I know it's the right decision."

You said goodbye to Toby and he helped you onto the horse.

Teddy was obviously a little sad to be leaving his grandparents, but at the same time, he was happy that you guys were coming home. Once you were close, you decided to surprise him.

"You know what I'm thinking baby?"

"About what, mommy?"

"Why don't we go over to Ellie and Joel's and make honey cakes with them?"

"Yes!"

Your son started bouncing with happiness and you smiled.

*

Joel was just finishing packing his backpack when he heard a knock on the door.

"Ellie, open it, it must be Tommy!"

Instead of his brother's voice, he heard a joyful, childish scream and immediately dropped everything he was doing. As soon as Teddy saw him, he let go of Ellie and ran towards to man. Joel immediately grabbed him and lifted him up.

"I missed you!" the boy shouted.

"I missed you too 'bear cub', a lot."

The toddler rested his head in the crook of Joel's neck and sighed contentedly. You couldn't help but smile slightly at the sight. Your son and Joel acted like they hadn't seen each other for five months instead of five days.

"We met Tommy on the way," you said and gave Joel a suggestive look.

He shifted his son onto his hip and rubbed the nape of his neck with his free hand. You saw he was confused. "I was worried," he murmured.

"He was sick of cleaning the horses! Or they were sick of him," Ellie stated.

"Ellie!"

The girl stuck her tongue out at him, which amused Teddy, who suddenly remembered what you came for.

"Mom, cookies!"

"Ah yes!" You showed a jar of honey and said, "Anna gave me this and I thought we could make honey cookies, together."

"Fucking awesome!" the girl shouted.

"Ellie," Joel hissed. "Not in front of the little one."

You smiled slightly. You liked that Joel cared about such things, but you weren't going to scold the teenage girl. Instead, you asked, "Do you have everything in the kitchen? Flour, eggs, butter?"

"Sure, come on," said the girl.

*

Joel leaned against the doorframe and watched the three of you cut cookies. You, Ellie, and Teddy who stood on a chair between you.

He felt his heart swell at the sight. He didn't know why you suggested it, but he wasn't going to complain. He also saw that Ellie needed it. After everything she'd been through, she deserved a bit of a family vibe.

"If you don't help us, you won't get anything," said the teenage girl.

He smiled maliciously at her. "Oh, I was sure I'd get your cookies as thanks for putting up with you."

You just rolled your eyes knowing full well how much Joel cared about the girl. Meanwhile, she shouted indignantly: "Yeah, alright!"

She grabbed a handful of flour and threw it at Joel. The moment she did it, you already knew how it would end... A complete mess. Teddy, of course, repeated the girl's gesture. Joel leaped forward and grab some flour. Ellie jumped back towards you and the flour thrown at her landed on you. Joel looked at you in shock.

"Oops."

You heard Ellie's voice behind you.

"Oops?" you said and threw flour at Joel and at the same time Teddy threw at Ellie.

"Hey kid, I thought we were on the same team!"

You laughed and said, "Believe me Ellie, there are no teams in this war."

You threw flour at Teddy, who squealed with delight and with Joel's help jumped to the floor. Then the toddler threw flour at you and Joel.

All four of you started laughing and You thought how surreal it was. If a stranger looked at you all, they might think you were family. Six months ago, you'd have said you'd rather throw a knife at Joel than flour, but you stood there in clothes covered with white powder. You took a deep breath and said, "Okay. That's enough. We're putting the cookies in the oven. And then," you looked at Ellie, "you and Joel are cleaning up this mess."

The girl groaned. "Why I?"

You raised your eyebrows. "Because you two started it."

*

Joel was on the porch. He was leaning forward, resting his elbows on the railing.

You approached him so quietly that he jumped when you said, "Please try it before the kids eat it all."

Joel took a cookie from the plate you handed him and said, "Thank you."

You felt a slight warmth in your chest as you heard that one word. You couldn't stop it. You waited a while until you finally cleared your throat and said, "I've been thinking about what you said about forgiving you."

Joel swallowed the remnants of cookies with difficulty and quickly set the plate aside. He stared at you, waiting for your verdict and knowing that he would accept any decision you made.

"I'm not ready to forgive you yet... Not everything." He nodded. "But even if I forgive you, I will not accept what you did to me, I will not forget it."

Joel cautiously approached you and grabbed your hand. He placed a gentle kiss on your knuckles and whispered, "I don't want you to accept this. I don't want you to forget, because I don't want you to let some other man hurt you." He was still holding your hand.

"What do you want?" you asked quietly.

"More moments like today. I know I'm an egoist..."

You thought you were going to cry from the amount of emotions you were feeling and you wanted to stop it somehow. You pulled away from him and saw him reluctantly let go of your hand.

"If these moments always will end with my dirty clothes, then there won't be any more moments like this," you joked, though the tension in your voice was easily noticeable.

Joel, however, chose to pretend he hadn't noticed. He raised his hands in surrender. "It's Ellie's fault."

You laughed slightly. "Don't blame everything on the child."

"She's not such a small and innocent baby after all," he muttered.

"As for the small baby, I should put Teddy to bed soon. He's had a tiring day today and he's going to be cranky soon."

Joel shifted uneasily. "If you want to rest, I can take care of him."

You bit your lip. It was a tempting proposition, but you weren't sure if your son was ready to sleep in a strange house. And did you ready for it?

"No... Staying here will just be another source of excitement and will make it harder for him to fall asleep."

He nodded and replied, "Okay. I'll bring him."

When he returned, Teddy was burying his head in the crook of Joel's neck and sucking thumb. You sighed slightly at the sight. "I'm late, someone is already cranky."

Joel nodded and tilted his head to the side to make more room for the little one. "He wants me to take him to bed and read him a bedtime story."

You opened your mouth to say something but closed it. You could tell by the way Teddy was burying his head in Joel's neck that he was very sleepy. You had no chance of persuading him to go with you alone. It would end in tears and loud sobs. So you nodded and headed home.

You plopped down on the couch and waited for Joel to leave Teddy's room. It didn't take long.

"He fell asleep." You nodded, and he added, "You know, I thought if you wanted to rest after your journey, I'd take care of the stable tomorrow."

You raised your eyebrows. "Really?"

"No problem. I'll go now."

He started to head towards the door but you stopped him. "Joel." He looked at you curiously. "Thank you." He smiled slightly and nodded.

When he left, you closed your eyes and realized it was time to pick up the broken pieces and glue them back together. You knew it wasn't going to happen in a day or two, but you were ready to start.

*

I'm obsessed with this photo. Joel could hold Teddy like this all the time ;)

Part IV

Part VI

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[geralallfandoms]

|JOEL MILLER|

○Just a dream○

warning: TLOU SPOILER but I promise it have a better ending (I'm sure we all dream about this)

His bloody face, his screams of pain mixed with your screams of despair, his eyes closing, his still body on the floor, Ellie's crying, his slow breathing...they were going to be recorded in your mind for your entire life.

María and Tomy were sitting in the living room, trying to process everything that had happened, thinking about how to move forward from now on. Ellie in her room was still trying to fall asleep, but like you, the images did not disappear.

The silence of the house went from being comforting to overwhelming. Many emotions in the air, many tears flooding the floors, many broken minds in the corners.

The silence that from one moment to the next was interrupted by a scream. A cry of pain.

"JOEL! NO!...NO-PLEASE!" Tomy and Maria ran to your room, knowing that sooner or later this was going to happen.

The door slammed open revealing a broken, heartbroken and sad figure. Tomy was the first to approach you, trying to calm the sudden movements, the attempts to free you from hands that were no longer holding you down.

"It's okay...its okay now..." he repeated over and over again while caressing your arms and brushing the hair from your face. But what in reality was an act of consolation, in the nightmare were bloody hands on your face, hands holding your body, hands that prevented you from helping him...helping Joel.

Helping your Joel.

"LET ME GO! N-NO...NOT HIM!N-JOEL NO!" Maria had a hand over her mouth, not believing what she saw. Unable to believe how far humanity had come. How bad a person could be.

In your nightmare you were living that moment over and over again. You continued to watch without being able to do anything as they took Joel's life blow after blow, how he never stopped looking at you, how his hand always tried to reach yours.

You kept watching as Joel slowly died.

"Its okay...we are safe...you have to wake up."

The hand that was caressing your arms suddenly began to caress your face.

Big hands, full of imperfections...

"I'm here...im okay..."

A harsh but comforting voice. A strong but sweet voice with you.

Your eyes opened quickly. Your hands moved quickly to remove the ones that were touching you, to get rid of that feeling that they were his hands.

But it wasn't a premonition.

He was here.

Joel was alive.

"Im okay baby...breath..."

Joel wasnt dead.

Joel had survived the beatings.

Joel had been in a coma for two days, but the moment your scream echoed throughout the house Joel instantly woke up.

"Y-ou are..." you said as you brought your hand closer to his beaten face.

"I will never leave you my sweet girl..." He said as he took your hand and kissed it.

The moment you realized it wasn't a dream or a nightmare, tears began to fall down your cheeks quickly. Sounds echoing throughout the room.

Joel felt his heart break when he saw you so badly and he swore on everything he had, that he would survive whatever it was, as long as he didn't see you cry... to not leave you alone.

His hand grabbed your waist and pulled you close to his chest, hugging you tightly.

Tomy and Maria walked away from the door the moment Joel began to hug you while whispering in your ear that everything was fine, that he was alive and that he wasn't going to leave you.

"I love you baby...im not going anywhere..."

________________________________

HELLOOOOO something short but that occurred to me and I couldn't stop thinking 😭

Hope you like it!😊

If you have any requests I will gladly do so!