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rise-tv · 4 months

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Who won the Super Bowl 2024? | Controversy & Usher

As former players and the media raise questions about who won the Super Bowl 2024, let’s investigate beliefs and discussions surrounding the potential rigging of the Super Bowl.

The Real Winner of Super Bowl 2024:-

Super Bowl LVIII, held on February 11, 2024, at the dazzling Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas, was a night etched in NFL history. While the Kansas City Chiefs emerged victorious over the San Francisco 49ers by a close 25–22 score, declaring a single “real winner” requires understanding the game’s impact beyond the final whistle.

Every year, millions of people around the world watch the Super Bowl, and the Super Bowl 2024 edition was no exception. This year’s National Football League championship game (NFL) brought together two of the top teams in American football for a historic confrontation. Along with the Chiefs’ win, there have been beliefs and concerns raised about potential rigging of the game.

Former players and the media have questioned the virtues of the game. It also raises concerns about true decisions and small-mindedness. These controversies have led to debates and discussions among fans. Some questioned the genuineness of the consequences and suggested the need for a thorough investigation. The original purpose was to ensure a fair and unfair outcome in future Super Bowls.

A little reference to our last article:-

In our last article, we defined an exclusive interview as “Tucker Carlson Interviews Putin.” We explained the possible assumptions of the mysterious phenomenon. Our energetic team is actively finding different ways to enhance your reading skills. We also understand your consciousness about our content. Therefore, let us fill the gaps of knowledge through wisdom.

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The Spectacle of epic proportions:-

Media raise questions about “Who won the Super Bowl 2024?”: It was a spectacle of epic proportions, drawing massive audiences both in-person and virtually. Thousands of eager supporters attended the game, filling the stadium with yells and excitement. Furthermore, millions of people worldwide turned in to watch the action on the big screen, which made it one of the most-watched athletic events of the year.

Many stars in the musical industry performed during the Super Bowl halftime show, which is usually a highlight. Visitors were treated to breathtaking demonstrations of skill and entertainment, including spectacular stage sets, synchronized dances, and electric music performances that left them in amazement.

On-Field Glory: The Chiefs Repeat:-

The game itself was a thrilling, back-and-forth battle. Patrick Mahomes orchestrated the Chiefs’ offense with his usual magic, connecting with Travis Kelce for a crucial touchdown. However, the 49ers’ Deebo Samuel proved a constant threat, rushing and receiving for over 150 yards. The tension remained high until the final seconds when the Chiefs secured the win with a field goal.

This victory solidified the Royals’ dynasty, and they became the very first team since 2004 to compete in consecutive Super Bowls. Mahomes cemented his status as being one of the league’s finest quarterbacks, while head coach Andy Reid won his second Super Bowl championship. For Kansas City fans, the celebration was euphoric, solidifying their team’s place in NFL history.

Beyond the Scoreboard: A Broader Impact:-

However, declaring the Chiefs the “real winner” solely based on the scoreboard paints an incomplete picture. Super Bowl 2024 transcended the field, leaving a lasting impact on various aspects:

Economic Boom for Las Vegas: Hosting the Super Bowl 2024 injected an estimated $500 million into the Las Vegas economy, boosting tourism, hospitality, and local businesses. This windfall served as a welcome shot in the arm for a city heavily reliant on tourism.

Diversity and Representation: Super Bowl 2024 featured the first Latina referee in NFL history, alongside two other female officials. This landmark achievement marked a significant step towards inclusivity in the traditionally male-dominated sport.

Halftime Show Spectacle: The halftime show, headlined by pop icon Taylor Swift, was a dazzling display of music and technology, capturing the attention of millions worldwide. This cultural moment transcended football fandom, attracting viewers who might not typically tune into the game.

The N.F.L Scores Big:-

High Ratings: Super Bowl 2024 averaged 114.2 million viewers in the United States, making it the 4th most-watched Super Bowl ever. Additionally, NFL regular season viewership continues to be strong, consistently ranking among the most-watched television programs in the country.

Competitive Games: The 2023–2024 season saw several close and exciting games, keeping fans engaged throughout the year. Surprise upsets, dramatic comebacks, and individual player performances all contributed to the excitement.

Increased Diversity: The NFL has seen a significant increase in the number of minority coaches, players, and officials in recent years. This progress promotes inclusivity and attracts a wider audience.

However, it’s important to consider that “scoring big” isn’t without its challenges. The NFL faces criticism regarding issues like player safety, concussions, and domestic violence. Additionally, some argue that the league’s focus on revenue sometimes overshadows the well-being of players and fans.

Ultimately, whether the NFL “scores big” is a matter of perspective and depends on which aspects you prioritize.

Who Was the Real Winner…?

Declaring a single “real winner” of Super Bowl 2024 depends on your viewpoint:

For the Kansas City Chiefs: It was an undisputed on-field triumph, solidifying their legacy as a dominant force in the NFL.

For Las Vegas: It was a significant economic windfall, boosting tourism and revitalizing local businesses.

For the NFL: It was a successful event that showcased the league’s commitment to diversity, inclusion, and cultural relevance.

For fans and viewers: It was a thrilling sporting spectacle, a halftime show extravaganza, and a moment of shared cultural experience.

Concluding Thoughts:-

Ultimately, Super Bowl 2024 wasn’t just about a single team hoisting the Lombardi Trophy. It was a multifaceted victory, resonating beyond the final score and leaving a lasting impact on various stakeholders. It exemplifies the power of sports to unite communities, generate economic impact, drive cultural conversations, and inspire future generations.

Super Bowl LVIII at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas marked a historic night in NFL history. The Kansas City Chiefs narrowly defeated the San Francisco 49ers. The game’s impact expands beyond the final score and also highlights the global significance and cultural phenomenon of the Super Bowl.

Super Bowl 2024 was more than just a game; it brought economic prosperity to Las Vegas. It also promoted diversity and inclusivity in the NFL, and delivered a spectacular halftime show. That shocked audiences beyond football fans.

#super bowl #mystery #strange #podcast #documentary #rise tv #Youtube

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fastchi205 · 2 years

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dreamerkitty · 3 years

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Peachy sprites!

I really love just doing a parade of outfits with sprites so I decided to do some Peachy sprites! The original sprite I based them off is from Mario & Wario

(Sprites from The Spriters Resource, ripped by Dazz, thank you for your hard work!)

Descriptions under the cut

Early artwork dress, manual dress, retro dress (Super mario bros), Mario no Daibouken dress, toy box merch dress, pixel art dress (with puff sleeves), pixel art dress (without sleeves) (Super Mario Bros), retro art dress, pixel art dress (The Lost Levels), pixel art dress (All Night Nippon), golf dress, pixel art golf dress (NES open tournament), retro dress, retro art dress, pixel art dress (Super Mario bros 2), pixel art dress (Tetris NES)

Nurse uniform (Dr. Mario), swimsuit, retro art dress (Super mario World), tennis dress (Mario’s tennis), SNES test program pixel art dress, pixel art golf dress (NES open tournament, in the wrong spot really..), pixel art dress, recolour (Yoshi’s cookie), pixel art dress (Super Mario all stars), wrecking outfit (Wrecking crew 98), artwork dress, fire dress, fuzzy dress, nautical dress, royal dress (Super Mario rpg), chef hat (Game & Watch gallery), golf dress (N64)

Golf palette swap dresses (N64), mystery land dress, western land dress, pirate land dress, horror land dress, space land dress (Mario party 2), tennis dress (N64), Melee dress and palette swaps

Vacation dress (Sunshine), modern dress, golf dress, Shadow Queen (Thousand year door), sports outfit (NBA Street V3), sports outfit, nurse outfit (Dr. Mario & Puzzle league), football uniform (Mario strikers), wedding dress (Super paper mario), football uniform, unused palette swap (Mario strikers charged), Brawl dress and recolours

Biker suit (Mario kart), winter sports outfit (Mario & sonic), Tanuki dress (3D Land), leotard/swimsuit (Mario & sonic), cat suit, fire dress, tanuki dress, super tanuki dress, super cat suit, boomerang suit (3D world), super smash bros for wii u/3Ds palette swaps

Wedding dress (with Tiara), wedding dress, unused yukata, unused arabian outfit, unused hat dress, unused explorer outfit, explorer outfit, unused casual outfit, unused casual outfit, dark casual coat, casual outfit, swimsuit, unused swimsuit, yukata, unused yukata (rest of row) (Odyssey)

Unused yukata, farmer outfit (Odyssey), Smash ultimate dress and palette swaps, doctors coat (Dr. mario world), yukata, happi outfit (Mario kart tour), rider outfit (Mario & sonic), golf outfit (Super rush)

Retro dress, super princess, robot (Super Mario bros. Super Show)

Retro dress (Nintendo comics system), commercial dress (Super Mario all-stars), Otenba peach-hime dress, winter collar (greeting card), Super Mario bros concept art dress, concept football uniform (Mario strikers), Toad peach (How to win at Super Mario bros.), Luigi outfit (Super mario adventures), trophy girl (Kodansha manga)

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#princess peach #peach #super mario #mario #sprite art #pixel art #custom sprites #my art

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wyn-n-tonic · 3 years

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Finding You -- Part IV

Word Count: 1.4k Warnings: Soft!Dave. Mentions of past abuse. Author's Note: A bit shamelessly self indulgent throwing my soccer obsession into the fold here. Also soft Dave. SOFT DAVID YORK. He literally lives in my fucking head rent free.

MASTERLIST | PART I | PART II | PART III | Pink Magnolias

He lets himself in near ten.

His movements were caught by the security cameras outside, a video alert popping across both of their phones. He turned his off, not worried about himself. But she?

She was lost in deep green velvet of her wingback chair, nose stuck firmly in a book. Her preference in the quiet. She didn’t even bother to look at her phone, there’s only one other person has the key to the house

His footsteps are soft as he brings himself to stand above her but she won’t look up at him, she only has one paragraph left and he can wait for her attention.

Leaning down, he presses his lips to her forehead and straightens again as a shiver runs down her spine, “did you eat?”

She hums in affirmation, “did you?”

One sentence to go but she looks up into his eyes, no longer being able to keep concentration under the intensity of his gaze. So soft and dark, made darker under the shadows cast by the small glow of her lamp.

Eyes that say I love you. She hopes her shout it back.

“I had dinner with the girls, took them out for pizza and then put them to bed.”

“You're early though.”

“Yeah, baby,” he pushes a tendril of hair away, “traffic wasn’t so bad and they both had a soccer game today so they fell asleep fairly early.”

She lights up, “they play soccer?”

“Yeah,” he pulls his phone out and opens the pictures to show her, “Molly just runs around and does whatever but Alice actually takes it serious, says she wants to be like,” he laughs, “Emily Sonnett? I don’t know who that is but I’ll tell you this, she’s mean on that field. Even calls it a pitch.”

“As she should,” she look at him like he’s crazy, “that's the proper terminology for the sport.”

He chuckles low in his throat and presses a kiss to her lips, “next you’re going to tell me you call it football.”

“I do.”

“Mmhmm,” he stands again and turns, his hand trailing out of reach of hers as he moves to the kitchen behind her, “don't let that Spanish passport go to your head, baby. We’re still in America, it’s soccer.”

“My uncle died,” she says quietly over her shoulder, book falling to lay in her lap.

He says nothing, letting the words die in the space between them as he prepares the coffee maker for the next morning.

“David?”

He grunts an acknowledgement.

“Where were you again this weekend?”

It’s the stuttering response, “the girls had a cheerleading competition,” that alerts her to the truth.

“David,” her voice is harsh, “where were you really?”

The fridge opens, the sound of clinking on the shelves as he cards through the contents for a beer and she’s impatient.

“David Thomas York,” she throws the book towards the table to her front, “I will leave if you lie to me again.”

“You can’t leave, baby, this is your house.”

A laugh meets him then and he knows that she’s serious, “you gave me a European passport, I can go wherever I please.”

He’s kneeling in front of her now, one hand wrapped around her ankle while one holds the bottle just as gingerly, his eyes are soft but not sad as he looks up at her, “it was a fire or, at least, that’s how I made it look.”

She lays her hand on his where it rests on her leg, “why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t need your praise, I just needed your peace of mind.”

Lips press to her soft hand now and he’s amazed, for some reason, when she doesn’t flinch back so he continues, “he'll never hurt anybody, especially you, again.”

“David,” she grips his jaw in her small hand, “don't you ever lie to me again.”

A slow nod is all that meets her gaze and a held breath releases, “when I fucked you in the gardens, my chest seized up. I wanted to hurt anybody who’d ever hurt you.”

“You’re getting soft on me, old man.”

Another nod, because it’s true.

“Would you like to meet the girls?”

The air shifts, her face lights up again, “would you like me to meet the girls?”

She lifts the beer from his hands and takes a drink as his eyes go a bit dopey, “I would, Carol and I have been discussing it and she would like that as well, if you would.”

The silence between them stretches on for just a little too long and he panics, “if you don’t want to, I understan—“

She holds a hand to his lips to silence him and takes another drink of the beer, “I would love to and we should take them to a Washington Spirit game.”

“Who the fuck are the Washington Spirit, baby?”

Her eyebrows raises in a question, the way his does at her, and he knows he’s stepped in something when she simply responds, “Emily Sonnett plays for the Washington Spirit, they’re the local women’s soccer team.”

He takes the bottle from her once more, bringing the now cold hand to his lips and places a kiss to the palm before laying it flat against his cheek, “Alice is going to love you so much.” —————

“Ahhhh, she’s so powerful!” Alice is screeching through the team store, picking up everything that glows under the bright fluorescent lights.

There’s a small tug on her right hand and she looks down, believing it’s Dave’s hand she’d find but it’s not. Tiny, cold fingers tuck into her hand in the space he no longer occupies, having gone running after Alice.

Molly holds a teddybear up, one wearing a small jersey, and asks, “can I have this? Do you think daddy would buy it for me?”

“I do,” she nods, “but if he doesn’t, then I will.”

She smiles wide and runs off to meet up with her sister, shouting, “look what I’m getting!”

“Is that so,” comes David’s voice, “and who said daddy was gonna buy that for you?”

The matter-of-fact way in which she answers the question is lost to her ears as another voice finds hers.

“They love you,” it’s Carol, another guest of today’s outing, “all of them, especially David.”

She turns to the other woman and Carol laughs at the surprise on Lucy's face. She likes her, she doe, gotten along this whole time but she wonders if she’s telling the truth.

“Trust me,” she says, almost as if she can read Lucy's mind, “I know all three of them, especially the way that one’s—�� she points at Dave, “—head works. Or, rather, how it doesn’t. That’s why we never worked. He’s a good man, Lucy, but he hasn’t been like this in a really long time.”

“But,” he continues,” looping arms as they walk forward, “if he never says it, don’t take it personally. He’s never been that type of man, you just—“

“Know,” Lucy agrees, “it’s in his eyes.”

Alice is running back, showing off the Sonnett jersey she’s picked out with a smile on her face, “look!”

“We need to get out of here,” Dave follows behind with Molly in his arms now, “before she bankrupts me.”

And there’s something primal that warms low in her belly, tugs at her being as she watches him with his children. —————

“Hey,” he’s sliding into bed next to her, Carol having taken the girls home and Dave having taken Lucy, “thank you for being so good with my girls.”

That low lying warmth fills her again as she looks into his eyes, this soft and hard man who shows her every part of him.

“Alice scares the shit out of me.”

He laughs, nodding into the kiss he’s pressing into her lips, “me too. Remember how I said if you decided to leave, nobody would come after you?”

“Yeah.”

He laughs again, “break her old man’s heart and I cannot guarantee that Alice York won’t hunt you down.”

“Is this you trying to grab a commitment out of me?”

“Grab one?” His brows knit in confusion, “I said I would marry you and bought a house with you and introduce you to my family, I think I already got one.”

She hums against his lips, pulling him down for another kiss, “guess I’m the one going soft on you, old man.”

“I love it,” he trails kisses down her jaw, “I wish I didn’t have to work, you either.”

“So we have a job soon then?”

“Yeah,” he says between the kisses to her neck, “are you ready for that?”

She doesn’t let the panic rise in her, doesn’t want him to know that she doesn’t think she is but he knows. Reads it in the way her heart beats against his lips now and he stops, bringing himself back up eye level to her.

“You don’t have to, you know, you can sit these jobs out. You know that right?”

She bites her lip, praying the tears that sting her eyes will dry up without having to be pushed aside, and nods her head.

“Just think about it,” he kisses her again, “I love you.”

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swiftletinthecloud · 3 years

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Watchlist Updates - June 25,2021 Edited July 12 28, 2021

Euro 2020 - Jun. 11 to Jul. 11. All specific posts are tagged "euro 2020" Euro is over! When the Olympics starts next week, “tokyo 2020″ tag will be in used if I reblog anything about that. And of course, “soccer/football” in general will always be in use during the Bundesliga season.

Shows and Dramas that I am currently watching off and on sporadically/randomly

Western Shows:

Loki [2021, action/fantasy] - Weekly, caught up FINISHED

The Nevers [2021, action/sci-fi] - currently finished episode 3/6

Leverage: Redemption [2021, comedy/adventure] - started 7/9/21; currently finished episode 4/8 FINISHED

Leverage [2008, comedy/adventure] - Rewatching. Kind of sporadic but still in order. Currently in Season 2 though skipped a couple episodes here and there

Chinese Dramas:

The Sleuth of Ming Dynasty [2020, historical/mystery] - Been meaning to start it; finally started 6/22/21; currently finished episode 1 7/48 FINISHED 7/27/21

Ancient Detective [2020, historical/mystery, wuxia] - Been meaning to start it, but there wasn't a vietdub version until more recently; finally started 6/22/21; currently finished episode 1/24

You Are My City and Fortress/You Are My Hero [2021, romance/drama] - saw a gifset and so started it 3/19/21. Finished 28/40 episode, Although now the lack of high risk that attracted me to the show is having the opposite effect bc I can feel myself becoming bored

The Imperial Coroner [2021, historical/mystery] - Watching in English Subs because I can’t wait for/can’t find any Vietdub 😭. Started 7/13/21. Finished episode 17/36

Korean Dramas:

Sell Your Haunted House [2021, thriller/mystery/comedy/fantasy] - Started 6/24/21; watching with my mom; currently finished episode 3/16 Finished 7/1/21

My Roommate is a Gumiho [2021, romance/comedy/fantasy] - Started 6/24/21; currently finished episode 3 7/16

Vincenzo [2021, action/crime/comedy] - Started 2/24/21. 1st episode was hot 😆 Watching it on Netflix so with subs and can’t have it in the background. Finished Episode 6/20

On the backburner aka I haven’t touched these in a while but really should get back to them

Western Shows:

9-1-1: Lone Star [2020, drama] (S1) - Mostly in the background, only on Season 1 Episode 7

New Amsterdam [2018, medical drama] (S3) - Not caught up. About 10 min into the episode 3 but not feeling like watching it.

Chinese Dramas:

The Blooms at the Ruyi Pavilion [2020, drama/romance] - Still on Episode 27. I don’t know; I’m not really feeling it at the moment. ZZH and the secondary couple are probably my main motivations to finish this sometime in the future. I’m just kind of bored of it otherwise

Oh! My Sweet Liar! [2020, romance/comedy] - Watched Episode 1 December 2020, haven’t continued beyond that. Kind of like the vibe and the scenes that I’ve seen in gifsets.

Korean Dramas:

Must You Go? [2021, musical/fantasy] - started 3/11/21, watched first 2 episodes. idk again why I started it but it looks short and interesting enough. Only 8 30-minute episodes total so seemed like it’s doable. Which is a lie because it's now June and I still only have finished episode 2/8

Queen: Love and War [2019, romance/drama] - watched Episode 1 on 3/16/21. Again Idk why I started a new drama but it looked interesting. But I can’t have it on in the background bc can’t read the subtitles that way and can’t find the vietdub version of it.

Zombie Detective [2020, comedy/drama/fantasy] - watched Episode 1 on 10/17/2020 for Choi Jin Hyuk. Looking forward to it but just haven’t around to continuing it yet

The Last Empress [2018, thriller/drama/comedy] - Started 7/29/2020 for Choi Jin Hyuk and his gorgeous outfits. Even though I know that the writers are going hurt and treat his character so unfairly, at least, like another post said, the costume department treated him right with all those gorgeous outfits. Was watching it on 2x speed except for the scenes with CJH and JNR. Jang Na Ra is also in Sell Your Haunted House so that reminded me that I still haven't finished this. Was finished with episode 32/52 before putting it on hold.

#personal #currently watching #cdrama #kdrama #euro 2020 #soccer/football

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modernmarcy · 4 years

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[UPDATED: Complete Guide] Are you interested in watching Adventure Time, but intimidated by the thought of watching 283 episodes? Have you watched the series before, but want to watch again without any filler episodes (unless it’s Bubbline, of course?) This is for you!

After seeing several requests, I have compiled the complete list of all the Adventure Time episodes that contain major plot, important backstory, major characterization, and/or Bubbline moments. I have also included optional episodes that I think will increase your understanding/enjoyment of the show (I put the reason next to it; if it says something about being an arc, backstory, characterization, etc., be warned that not watching may make the major plot points of the show a bit more confusing for you).

I condensed the show down to 153 of the 10-minute episodes (91 episodes if you don’t watch any of the optional episodes). Optional episodes are in italics. Episodes with Bubbline moments, characterization of Marcy/Princess Bubblegum (PB), or major backstory/plot related to Marcy/PB are in bold. Anything with a an asterisk (*) can be watched at any time (order doesn’t matter, though you may still want to watch it in the same season).

I hope this helps someone out since I spent hours putting it together! Without further ado…

Season 1

1 x 2 “Trouble in Lumpy Space” | Introduces LSP

1 x 3 “Prisoners of Love” | Introduces the Ice King

1 x 5 “The Enchiridion”

1 x 9 “My Two Favorite People” | Introduces Jake & Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc

1 x 10 “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain”

1 x 12 “Evicted”

1 x 15 “What is Life?” | Introduces NEPTR + Ice King characterization

1 x 16 “Ocean of Fear” | Finn characterization

1 x 17 “When Wedding Bells Thaw” | Ice King characterization

1 x 20 “Freak City” | Introduces Magic Man

1 x 22 “Henchman”

1 x 24 “What Have You Done?” | Ice King characterization (*)

1 x 25 “His Hero”

Season 2

2 x 1 “It Came from the Nightosphere”

2 x 2 “The Eyes” | Ice King characterization

2 x 3 “Loyalty to the King” | Ice King characterization

2 x 6 “Slow Love” | Just a funny/cute episode (*)

2 x 7 “Power Animal” | Establishes more of Adventure Time universe

2 x 10 “To Cut a Woman’s Hair”

2 x 11 “Chamber of Frozen Blades” | Ice King characterization (*)

2 x 12 “Her Parents” | Jake and Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc

2 x 15 “The Real You”

2 x 17 “Death in Bloom” | Establishes more of the AT universe

2 x 18 “Susan Strong” | Introduces Susan Strong arc

2 x 20 “Go with Me” | Subtle Bubbline

2 x 24 “Mortal Folly”

2 x 25 “Mortal Recoil”

2 x 26 “Heat Signature”

Season 3

3 x 3 “Memory of a Memory”

3 x 5 “Too Young”

3 x 6 “The Monster” | LSP characterization/general cuteness (*)

3 x 7 “Still” | Ice King characterization

3 x 9 “Fiona and Cake” | Gender bending episode (*)

3 x 10 “What was Missing”

3 x 14 “Beautopia” | Susan Strong arc continues

3 x 17 “Thank You” | Not vital to plot, but adorable (*)

3 x 18 “Apple Thief” | Not vital to plot, but a favorite (*)

3 x 19 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 1”

3 X 20 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 2″

3 x 21 “Marceline’s Closet”

3 x 25 “Dad’s Dungeon” | Finn and Jake background

3 x 26 “Incendium” | Flame Princess Arc

Season 4

4 x 1 “Hot to the Touch” | Flame Princess arc

4 x 2 “Five Short Graybles” | Established more of AT universe (*)

4 x 5 “Return to the Nightsophere”

4 x 6 “Daddy’s Little Monster”

4 x 8 “Hug Wolf” | Generally cute (*)

4 x 9 “Princess Monster Wife” | Ice King characterization + great episode

4 x 10 Goliad

4 x 11 “Beyond this Earthly Realm” | Ice King characterization

4 x 13 “Princess Cookie” | Generally cute

4 x 15 “Sons of Mars” | Established more of AT universe

4 x 16 “Burning Low” | Flame princess arc + PB characterization

4 x 18 “King Worm” | Serious foreshadowing

4 x 19 “Lady and Peebles”

4 x 20 “You Made Me”

4 x 22 “Ignition Point” | Flame Princess Arc

4 x 24 “Reign of Gunters”

4 x 24 “I Remember You"

4 x 26 “The Lich”

Season 5

5 x 1 “Finn the Human”

5 x 2 “Jake the Dog”

5 x 6 “Jake the Dad” | Jake/LR arc

5 x 5 “All the Little People” | Cool and very slight Bubbline cameo

5 x 9 “All Your Fault”

5 x 11 “Bad Little Boy” | Gender bending + Marcy/Ice King development

5 x 12 “Vault of Bones” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 14 “Simon and Marcy”

5 x 16 “Puhoy” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 17 “BMO Lost” | SO ADORABLE. If you don’t watch you’re missing out (*)

5 x 18 “Princess Potluck” | Ice King characterization (*)

5 x 20 “Shh!” | Established more AT universe and is cute/neat (*)

5 x 21 “The Suitor”

5 x 22 “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita” | Ice King character development

5 x 23 “One Last Job” | Jake character development

5 x 26 “Wizards Only, Fools”

5 x 28 “Be More” | BMO backstory (*)

5 x 29 “Sky Witch”

5 x 30 “Frost and Fire” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 31 “Too Old”

5 x 32 “Earth and Water”

5 x 33 “Time Sandwich”

5 x 34 “The Vault"

5 x 38 “Red Starved”

5 x 40 “Play Date” | Finn character development

5 x 41 “The Pit” | Finn character development

5 x 45 “Blade of Grass”

5 x 46 “Rattleballs” | Finn character development

5 x 47 “The Red Throne” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 48 “Betty”

5 x 50 “Lemonhope Pt. 1″

5 x 51 “Lemonhope Pt. 2″

5 x 52 “Billy’s Bucket List”

Season 6

6 x 1 “Wake Up”

6 x 2 “Escape from the Citadel”

6 x 4 “The Tower” | Finn character development

6 x 6 “Breezy”

6 x 9 “The Prince Who Wanted Everything | Gender bending (*)

6 x 10 “Something Big”

6 x 12 “Ocarina” | Jake character development

6 x 14 “Princess Day”

6 x 16 “Joshua and Margaret Investigate”

6 x 19 “Is That You?” | Flame Princess arc

6 x 22 “The Cooler” | Flame Princess arc

6 x 23 “The Pajama War”

6 x 24 “Evergreen”

6 x 25 “Astral Plane” | Martin arc

6 x 26 “Gold Stars” | Lich arc

6 x 27 “The Visitor” | Martin arc

6 x 28 “The Mountain” | Flame Princess arc + Lemongrab characterization

6 x 29 “Dark Purple” | Susan Strong arc

6 x 32 “Friends Forever” | Ice King characterization

6 x 35 “Graybles 1000+” | Foreshadowing

6 x 38 “You Forgot Your Floaties”

6 x 39 “Be Sweet” | Lich arc + LSP character development

6 x 40 “Orgalorg”

6 x 42 “Hot Diggity Doom”

6 x 43 “The Comet”

Season 7

7 x 1 “Bonnie & Neddy”

7 x 2 “Varmits”

7 x 4 “Mama Said” | Finn/Jake character development

7 x 5 “Football” | Adorable BMO (*)

7 x 6 “Marceline the Vampire Queen”

7 x 7 “Everything Stays”

7 x 8 “Vamps About”

7 x 9 “The Empress Eyes”

7 x 10 “May I Come In?”

7 x 11 “Take Her Back”

7 x 12 “Checkmate”

7 x 13 “The Dark Cloud”

7 x 14 “The More You Moe, The Moe You Know (Part I)” | BMO arc

7 x 15 “The More you Moe, The Moe You Know (Part II)” | BMO arc

7 x 18 “President Porpoise is Missing!” | Adorable + Marcy cameo

7 x 21 “King’s Ransom”

7 x 25 “Flute Spell” | Introduces Huntress Wizard

7 x 26 “The Thin Yellow Line”

7 x 27 “Broke His Crown”

7 x 28 “Don’t Look”

7 x 29 “Beyond the Grotto” | Established more AT universe/cool (*)

7 x 30 “Lady Rainacorn of the Crystal Dimension” | LR backstory (*)

7 x 31 “I am a Sword”

7 x 32 “Bun Bun” | Finn + Flame Princess arc and characterization

7 x 33 “Normal Man”

7 x 34 “Elemental”

7 x 35 “Five Short Tables” | Gender bending (*)

7 x 36 “The Music Hole”

7 x 38 “Preboot”

7 x 39 “Reboot”

Season 8

8 x 1 “Two Swords”

8 x 2 “Do No Harm”

8 x 3 “Wheels” | Jake characterization/background (*)

8 x 4 “High Strangeness”

8 x 6 “Jelly Beans Have Powers”

8 x 7 “The Invitation”

8 x 8 “Whipple the Happy Dragon”

8 x 9 “Mysterious Island”

8 x 10 “Imaginary Resources”

8 x 11 “Hide and Seek”

8 x 12 “Min and Marty”

8 x 13 “Helpers”

8 x 14 “The Light Cloud”

Season 9

9 x 02 “Skyhooks”

9 x 03 “Bespoken For”

9 x 04 “Winter Light”

9 x 05 “Cloudy”

9 x 06 “Slime Central”

9 x 07 “Happy Warrior”

9 x 08 “Hero Heart”

9 x 09 “Skyhooks II”

9 x 10 “Abstract”

9 x 11 “Ketchup”

9 x 12 “Fiona and Cake and Fiona” | Gender bending (*)

9 x 13 “Whispers”

9 x 14 “Three Buckets”

Season 10

10 x 01 “The Wild Hunt”

10 x 02 “Always BMO Closing” | Cute BMO episode that is sort of important to this season’s plot but you will still understand what’s going on without it

10 x 03 “Son of Rap Bear” | Flame Princess arc fulfilled; fun episode

10 x 04 “Bonnibel Bubblegum”

10 x 05 “Seventeen”

10 x 07 “Marcy and Hunson”

10 x 08 “The First Investigation”

10 x 09 “Blenanas” | Finn characterization; brief appearance of PB

10 x 10 “Jake the Starchild”

10 x 11 “Temple of Mars”

10 x 12 “Gumbaldia”

10 x 13 “Come Along with Me”

Follow Modern Marcy for affordable finds inspired by Adventure Time (along with a lot of fanart, fan theory, and general posts about the show and its characters!) I’ll be opening up an Etsy shop next month with Adventure Time knickknacks and props from the show (and stuff from a few other fandoms!) so be sure to check back :)

#ATimers #Adventure Time #Episode Guide #Bubbline #Mareceline #Princess Bubblegum #Bubbline episodes #Episode list #Modern Marcy episode list #Updated #Complete Series #AT #Sugarless gum #LGBTQ cartoon representation #Bubbline moments

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withthingsunreal · 3 years

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hey guys

did y’all know there’s a limit to how many links you can have in a post

adventure time masterpost part one

♥=my favourites Ω=significant plot (though sometimes this is not immediately obvious) ♪=a song happens ♫=a personal fave song happens ¿=just don’t try to think about it too hard okay

SEASON SIX

Ω 6x01/6x02 - Wake Up/Escape from the Citadel [WATCH] - Finn and Jake need to get to the Citadel, and Prismo agrees to help. But the Lich beats them to it, and it seems he's got some plans of his own.

♥ 6x03- James II [WATCH] - An excess of James.

6x04- The Tower [WATCH] [alt]- Finn's missing his arm, so he decides to build a tower into space so he can punch his dad and steal HIS arm instead. Solid plan, right?

¿ 6x05 - Sad Face [WATCH] - A circus, and a clown.

♪ 6x06 - Breezy [WATCH] - Finn's flower isn't doing so well, and Finn himself isn't feeling anything, but his new bee friend Breezy wants to help. Stay tuned for spook (me, that's me) starting a petition to retitle this show 'what the hell did I just watch.'

¿ 6x07 - Food Chain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake learn about the food chain by, um, living it.

6x08- Furniture & Meat [WATCH] - Mo' treasure, mo' problems.

6x09 - The Prince Who Wanted Everything [WATCH] - LSPrincess has a story to share with the Ice King, and LSPrince has a lesson to learn from Fionna the Human.

6x10 - Something Big [WATCH] - Something something Maja something Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant something something feelings?? Listen I don't know what I'm watching anymore ok

♪ 6x11 - Little Brother [WATCH] - Shelby has an accident, ends up with a little brother, and turns to Jake for brotherly advice. Well, giving Finn a sword worked out pretty well...

6x12 - Ocarina [WATCH] - Kim Kil Whan buys the treehouse and tries to teach Jake a lesson about responsibility. It goes suuuper well.

6x13 - Thanks for the Crabapples, Giuseppe [WATCH] - Ice King and his fellow offbeats go on a wizard road trip to form their own secret society.

6x14- Princess Day [WATCH] - Breakfast Princess gets rude with LSP. Mistake! Time for her and Marceline to mess up the Breakfast Kingdom way bad.

6x15 - Nemesis [WATCH] - There's a great evil in the Candy Kingdom which must be stopped.

6x16 - Joshua and Margaret Investigations [WATCH] - Finn and Jake's parents fought monsters, too! Even when their mom was way super about-to-pop pregnant, apparently.

6x17 - Ghost Fly [WATCH] - Jake kills a fly, because flies are disgusting. But ghost flies seem to be worse. Oops?

6x18 - Everything's Jake [WATCH] - Bender searches inside himself and finds that Fry has been with him all along Jake goes on an inner journey, but like, literally. not really spiritually so much.

♥ 6x19 - Is That You? [WATCH] - Jake and Finn mourn Prismo, and then things get super bananas up in their dreamspace.

6x20 - Jake the Brick [WATCH] - Jake observes nature as he spends some time as just another brick in the wall.

6x21 - Dentist [WATCH] - Finn's tooth is in real bad shape, and he has to face facts: it is time for him to Go Dentist.

6x22 - The Cooler [WATCH] - There's a crisis in the Flame Kingdom, and FP makes the (objectively terrible??) decision to turn to PB for help.

6x23 - Pajama Wars [WATCH] - Sleepover in the Candy Kingdom! Nothing terrible is happening.

Ω 6x24 - Evergreen [WATCH] - Master Evergreen and his lizardy minion Gunther attempt to save the world.

¿Ω 6x25 - Astral Plane [WATCH] - Finn goes on an astral adventure, and sees some junk that may be relevant soon.

6x26 - Gold Stars [WATCH] - Sweet P starts school, and makes some new (terrible) friends.

6x27 - The Visitor [WATCH] - Finn follows his dream from Astral Plane and finds his least favourite massive disappointment at the end of the trail.

6x28 - The Mountain [WATCH] - It’s a Lemongrab episode. I don’t know anymore.

6x29 - Dark Purple [WATCH] - Susan Strong and some brave hyoomans on a rescue mission.

6x30 - The Diary [WATCH] - Fandom can be a consuming thing. TV finds an old diary and gets a little too into it.

6x31 - Walnuts & Rain [WATCH] - Finn and Jake get separated and go on different (weird) journeys.

6x32 - Friends Forever [WATCH] - Ice King tries to make himself some new friends. It goes terribly.

6x33 - Jermaine [WATCH] - After Jake has a shared dream with Jermaine, the boys go to visit their brother, who’s still living in their childhood home.

6x34 - Chips and Ice Cream [WATCH] - Chips, chips chips chips. Ice cream ice cream. (A travelling performer passes his curse on to Jake. It doesn’t go well.)

6x35 - Graybles 1000+ [WATCH] - Graybles, again, some more. Apparently the Candy Kingdom is still around however much further in the future, and someone’s still putting up string lights at Marceline’s. So there’s that.

6x36 - Hoots [WATCH] - The Cosmic Owl gets distracted by a mystery lady’s pretty set of tailfeathers.

6x37 - Water Park Prank [WATCH] - Finn and Jake (and the Ice King) spend the day at the water park.

6x38 - You Forgot Your Floaties [WATCH] - Magic Man, up to his usual biz, but this time he’s getting a helping hand from Betty. No way this will go horribly wrong??

6x39 - Be Sweet [WATCH] - For some inexplicable reason, Tree Trunks thinks LSP is a good choice for a babysitter. Yikes.

6x40 - Orgalorg [WATCH] - Gunther and the Gunts throw a houseparty.

6x41 - On the Lam [WATCH] - Martin finds another group of adorable creatures to try to exploit. yay.

6x42/6x43 - Hot Diggity Doom/The Comet [WATCH] - An election in the Candy Kingdom, and an impending catastrophe.

SEASON SEVEN

7x01 - Bonnie & Neddy [WATCH] - The King of Ooo continues his efforts to be the worst. PB has to help someone important to her get back to where he belongs.

7x02 - Varmints [WATCH] - Bubblegum tries to protect her pumpkin patch; Marceline lends a hand.

7x03 - Cherry Cream Soda [WATCH] - A candy citizen comes back from the dead, causing some complications for those he’d left behind.

7x04 - Mama Said [WATCH] - While out on a mission for the King of Ooo, Finn and Jake run into Billy’s ex-gf Canyon and decide to help her out instead.

7x05 - Football [WATCH] - BMO tries to do something nice for a friend. It does not go well.

7x06/7x07 - Stakes: Marceline the Vampire Queen/Everything Stays [WATCH] - Marceline has a favour to ask of PB, which results in her reflecting on the last thousand years of her life.

7x08 - Stakes: Vamps About [WATCH] - Marceline’s old nemeses are back, and she’s absolutely down to take ‘em all on again.

7x09 - Stakes: The Empress Eyes [WATCH] - Targeting the Ice King? Possibly not the greatest plan a vampire could have.

7x10 - Stakes: May I Come In [WATCH] - Jake finds his courage.

7x11 - Stakes: Take Her Back [WATCH] - Marceline’s out of commission, so it’s up to Finn and Jake to take on The Moon.

7x12 - Stakes: Checkmate [WATCH] - Four down, one to go.

♫ 7x13 - Stakes: The Dark Cloud [WATCH] - Marceline has to decide what she’s fighting for.

7x14/7x15 - The More You Moe/The Moe You Know [WATCH (watermarked)] - It's BMO's birthday, and a special guest is coming with a special mission for our lil robot buddy. yay?

7x16 - Summer Showers [WATCH] - Viola helps LSP put on a play, and Jake is super proud.

7x17 - Angel Eyes [WATCH] - BMO bribes Finn and Jake into playing cowboys and bandits.

7x18 - President Porpoise Is Missing! [WATCH] - An undersea authority figure appears to have vanished.

7x19 - Blank-Eyed Girl [WATCH] - Urban legends may or may not be baloney, and may or may not be out to get you.

7x20 - Bad Jubies [WATCH] - One heck of a storm brewing up some real nasty vibes.

7x21 - King's Ransom [WATCH] - Ice King isn't going to let anything stop him from rescuing his best bud, and Finn and Jake have got his back.

7x22 - Scamps [WATCH] - Finn rehabilitates some bad seeds.

7x23 - Crossover [WATCH] - Prismo needs Finn and Jake’s help with a junked-up timeline.

7x24 - The Hall of Egress [WATCH] - A dungeon keeps hitting the reset button every time Finn tries to exit.

7x25 - Flute Spell [WATCH] - Does Finn have a new girl in his life, or is he working on a different sort of magic?

7x26 - The Thin Yellow Line [WATCH] - It Is Okay To Be You, ft. The Banana Guards

7x27 - Broke His Crown [WATCH] - Bonnie and Marcie try to have a dinner date with the IK, but his crown is up to some weird biz.

7x28 - Don’t Look [WATCH] - Finn fails to follow the literal only instruction given.

7x29 - Beyond the Grotto [WATCH] - Sea lard rescue 911

7x30 - Lady Rainicorn of the Crystal Dimension [WATCH] - TV finds a weird box.

7x31 - I Am A Sword [WATCH] - FinnSword gets straight up hijacked.

7x32 - Bun Bun [WATCH] - Remember how Cinnamon Bun used to be... just, like, generally bad? at doing things? okay that but smaller.

7x33 - Normal Man [WATCH] - Normal Man needs some hero help to return Glob to Mars.

7x34 - Elemental [WATCH] - An... ice... princess? kinda??

7x35 - Five Short Tables [WATCH] - Fionna and Cake try to make some artsy-ass flapjacks.

7x36 - The Music Hole [WATCH] - Music happens, some of it on a stage.

7x37 - Daddy-Daughter Card Wars [WATCH] - Charlie helps her Papa work through some card-related stuff.

Ω 7x38/7x39 - Preboot/Reboot [WATCH] - Finn, Jake, and Susan visit a very scientific establishment.

SEASON EIGHT

8x01 - Two Swords [WATCH] - So when a FinnSword and a Grass Sword meet... sometimes some stuff can go the hell down.

8x02 - Do No Harm [WATCH] - Finn and Grass Finn try stuff out.

8x03 - Wheels [WATCH] - Jake tries to connect with his granddaughter by proving he’s cool.

8x04 - High Strangeness [WATCH] - Tree Trunks loves... revolution (｡•`_´•｡)

8x05 - Horse and Ball [WATCH] - James Baxter rides again.

8x06 - Jelly Beans Have Power [WATCH] - PB tries to get a handle on the elemental powers thing.

Ω 8x07 - Islands: The Invitation [WATCH] - Susan sent out a distress signal, and a response has arrived.

8x08 - Islands: Whipple the Happy Dragon [WATCH] - Hazardous seas, or Here There Be Dragons.

Ω 8x09 - Islands: Mysterious Island [WATCH] - Finn gets separated from his friends, but makes a new one.

Ω 8x10 - Islands: Imaginary Resources [WATCH] - BMO helps Finn and Jake get acquainted with the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of virtual reality gaming.

Ω♪ 8x11 - Islands: Hide and Seek [WATCH] - Memories of island life.

Ω 8x12 - Islands: Min & Marty [WATCH] - Minerva Campbell and Martin Mertens get to know each other.

Ω 8x13 - Islands: Helpers [WATCH] - Finn meets his mom.

Ω 8x14 - Islands: The Light Cloud [WATCH] - The conflicting desires to protect your child while also allowing them to grow and thrive.

SEASON NINE

9x01 - Orb [WATCH] - Some very normal dreamscapes on the return journey to Ooo.

9x02 - Elements: Skyhooks [WATCH] - The boys make it home but things are looking... different.

9x03 - Elements: Bespoken For [WATCH] - The Ice King has a story to tell about a hot date he had, and also tangentially the current state of things.

9x04 - Elements: Winter Light [WATCH] - A visit to the Ice Kingdom.

9x05 - Elements: Cloudy [WATCH] - Finn needs to calm down, and Jake needs to potty.

9x06 - Elements: Slime Central [WATCH] - It's Slime Time baybee

9x07 - Elements: Happy Warrior [WATCH] - A normal one in the Flame Kingdom.

9x08 - Elements: Hero Heart [WATCH] - LSP tries to help Finn listen to his hero heart, while PB just wants everyone to be a little bit sweeter.

9x09 - Elements: Skyhooks II [WATCH] - Let's Get Lumpy.

9x10 - Abstract [WATCH] - Jake is wary of some changes in Jermaine.

9x11 - Ketchup [WATCH] - Marceline and BMO catch up on recent events.

9x12 - Fionna and Cake and Fionna [WATCH] - Ice King gets to hang with the REAL Fionna.

9x13 - Whispers [WATCH] - Finn and Fern help Sweet Pea with some nightmares.

9x14 - Three Buckets [WATCH] - Finn and Fern spend some uhhh quality time together

SEASON TEN

10x01 - The Wild Hunt [WATCH] - Huntress Wizard needs some assistance, and Finn has some junk to work through.

10x02 - Always BMO Closing [WATCH] - BMO and Ice King team up to become a door-to-door salesman.

10x03 - Son of Rap Bear [WATCH] - FP needs to work on her rap game.

10x04 - Bonnibel Bubblegum [WATCH] - Family junk is complicated.

10x05 - Seventeen [WATCH] - It’s Finn’s birthday! Let’s get Arthurian up in here.

10x06 - Ring of Fire [WATCH] - The marvelous misadventures of Tree Trunks.

10x07 - Marcy + Hunson [WATCH] - Marceline’s dad is in town and totally embarrassing her again.

10x08 - The First Investigation [WATCH] - Finn and Jake look into some haunted happenings at Joshua and Margaret Investigations

10x09 - Blenanas [WATCH] - Finn wants the highest possible authority to weigh in on whether or not he is funny.

10x10 - Jake the Starchild [WATCH] - Jake’s gotta save the world. No, a different one.

10x11 - Temple of Mars [WATCH] - Jermaine and Finn gotta rescue Jake, and in the process maybe help Betty work through some things.

10x12 - Gumbaldia [WATCH] - Peace talks.

♥Ω♫ 10x13 - Come Along With Me [WATCH] - Everything stays, but it still changes.

#adventure time #maybe i will also figure out how to make the folder accessible #that's probably easier right?#though less fun bc i am sure you all love my summaries #right #right guys #anyway here it is #done at last #so we can all cry about it together

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puppysports · 3 years

Text

The Puppy Bowl Is Back for Its 17th Game - Animal Lovers Rejoice!

There are two sorts of individuals in this world. There are individuals who truly anticipate the greatest game of the year: the Super Bowl, and there are individuals who truly anticipate the other greatest game of the year: the Puppy Bowl.

In 2005, Animal Planet helped the world out by acquainting us with a gathering of cute pups that planned to play their own round of football. Prepared for its seventeenth season, Team Ruff will go head to head against Team Fluff for the "Lombarky" prize. The Puppy Bowl is the one event when any creature jokes are invited. Anyway, how might you watch it, and when will it air? We have every one of the paws-itively delightful data underneath!

The Puppy Bowl airs around the same time as the Super Bowl.

Have the nachos and canine treats prepared on Feb. 7, 2021, on the grounds that that is the point at which the 2021 Puppy Bowl will air. The game beginnings at 2 p.m. on Animal Planet. Reward: Discovery Plus has a pre-game show beginning at 1 p.m. On the off chance that you have a Discovery Plus account, you can likewise stream the Puppy Bowl 2022 with your record. There could be no greater method to start off the greatest night in sports, sincerely.

All in all, what precisely occurs during the Puppy Bowl? The lovable showcase is a two-hour scene, comprising of 96 (adoptable!) doggies that are separated into two groups and let free onto a small scale football field for huge loads of play and tussling.

With regards to rules and guidelines, it is by all accounts a bit of a crazy situation. "The guidelines of Puppy Bowl can fit on one post-it note," official ref Dan Schachner disclosed to CBS Sunday Morning. "It's essentially, 'Drag a bite toy into the end zone. Doesn't make any difference which end zone.'"

Sneak Dogg and Martha Stewart will co-have the 2021 Puppy Bowl.

The most charming and amazing team possibly ever, Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, have endorsed on to co-have the 2021 Puppy Bowl. As per Billboard, "The powerful pair will arrange an epic back end party and root for the doggy players addressing Annenberg Pet Space, Paw Works, and SPCA LA. The day's mouth-watering contests incorporate making the pawfect party nibble and creating a Puppy Bowl-themed mixed drink."

Sneak and Martha will likewise include their own textured companions during the occasion. Individuals reports, "Watchers can get hollers from Stewart's French Bulldogs, Crème Brûlée and Bête Noire, and Chow Chows Empress Qin and Emperor Han. Sneak's French Bulldogs, Juelz Broadus and Chalk, will likewise be accessible for fan messages."

In case canines aren't your thing, you can likewise tune into the Kitten Bowl.

Its an obvious fact that there are canine individuals and there are feline individuals, so if watching pups mess about for a few hours doesn't do it for you, the Hallmark channel has you covered. Taking into account one more gathering of creature darlings, the Kitten Bowl highlights adoptable cats finding their permanent spots to settle down while messing about in a copy football arena, like that of Animal Planet's Puppy Bowl. "Little cat Bowl VIII" debuts on the Hallmark Channel on Sunday, Feb. 7, 2021 (2 p.m. ET/PT).

The Kitten Bowl is facilitated by TV character and creature advocate Beth Stern close by Cameron Mathison and Tamera Mowry-Housley from Home and Family. Regardless of whether you're a feline or canine individual, both "bowls" do great. They're attempting to get some cute creatures into their permanent spots to settle down.

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abraxos-is-toothless · 4 years

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Surprises (5)

I’m so sorry this is later than I’d said, but life threw a spanner in the works and to make up for it you should have Chapter 6 by tomorrow night!

Previous Chapter. Masterlist.

Warnings: There will be swearing, mature themes, mentions of alcohol at times, and mentions of sex. I will update warnings as I go if needed. If I miss something come shout out me for doing so:))

My beautiful beta is @bryaxisthefaceofnightmares 💓

Chapter 5

—————

Get up.

Get up now, Elain.

She didn’t know how long she’d been on her knees in that field for. No, that’s not how he should have been told; she didn’t mean to do it like that. But the words he’d said and the way he had said them were still ringing in her head now. Easily forgettable. Like he didn’t even care, she was just someone he could use and dispose of. He had been her first but, that didn’t matter to him apparently, didn’t even ask how she felt. What, he just assumed she was a girl who didn’t care who she gave it up to? This whole situation was completely fucked. With shaking hands, Elain searched through her pockets and pulled out her phone, dialling Lucien’s number. He was only sat out in the car waiting for her, like he always did after a game to give her those few minutes of peace, and she could just go straight to him, but wasn’t sure she had enough strength in her to stand. After the third ring he finally answered, but when she heard his voice, Elain couldn’t stop the tears from falling again.

“Can you come back out here and help me? I- I don’t think I can get up, I’m in the middle of the field.” She hung up quickly, cutting off the end of his sentence, only needing to hear that he was coming for her. Like he always would when she asked. It felt like a whole hour had passed by the time she heard his panicked voice, but it mostly likely had only been a few minutes.

“Elain? Lainy, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

It seemed like she was shaking her head to tell him no, but everything felt numb, like she was a puppet and someone else was doing the actions for her. She proceeded to tell him about her run in with Azriel, the words he’d said and that she’d slipped up and told him about the baby in the worst way possible way. By the end of it, she noticed she was now sat in the passenger seat of his car, realising he had carried her the whole way, and turned to say that he didn’t have to do that. However, he spoke before she could even open her mouth.

“Just rest for a minute, Ellie. We’ll get you home and tucked into bed, and then you and I can watch whichever terrible romance movie you want. Talking about this can wait until tomorrow, okay?”

Elain nodded, giving her best friend a small smile, excited about watching a romance with him because she always found it funny to listen to his complaints throughout the whole thing. That smile was dropped however, when she turned her head to the window and caught a glimpse of the football field once more. She knew what Lucien was trying to do, yet the sight of Azriel’s face when she shouted at him was still playing on repeat in the forefront of her mind. The shock, the anger, the disbelief and then finally, the realisation of what she was trying to tell him. That she was about to tip their worlds upside down, because they weren’t coherent enough that night to think about the consequences.

Part of her, the selfish part at least, hoped he was struggling with the news as much as she was right now. Maybe even worse.

Fair was fair, right?

oOoOo

Azriel had been staring at his shattered bathroom mirror since he’d first put his fist int. He was consciously clenching and unclenching his battered right hand, welcoming the pain, realising now that he deserved to feel it. Deserved to feel the open cuts stretch themselves open slightly more each time after what he had said, after what he had done. Elain was dealing with this too; she was most likely more terrified than he was of what this meant for their future, yet he walked away from her. She needed him and he just walked away. And now a few hours later, he wanted so badly to fix it, to be able to go back to that moment and just stay there to listen to what she had to say.

Fuck, what had he done?

And shit, he’d never meant that Elain was easily forgettable when he’d said it! But now, after having replayed their whole conversation three times over, he could see how she had misunderstood him. Yes, he could barely remember the events of that night and how they’d ended up in bed together, but the few memories that Azriel did have were engrained into his mind forever. The feeling of her nails across his back, soft skin underneath his fingertips and the soft little sounds she had made as they’d moved together. He had never realised it in the beginning, but his first thought earlier when he’d spotted her in the middle of the pitch watching as the sun began to set, was that she was absolutely beautiful. Her hair cascaded down her back in golden brown waves; the delicate little frame of her body had made his steps falter slightly. A weird sensation had begun to build in his chest but he had forced it back down because no girl had ever made him feel that way, so how had she done it?

Even through all of that, there was no way he was going to forget the bomb she’d dropped on him. She was pregnant. With his baby. He wanted so badly to go running to his brothers, to tell them what had happened so maybe someone could tell him what the hell he was supposed to do. But Azriel couldn’t, because then people would know what he had done. Fucking Nesta Archeron would know what he had done, and then she’d have his balls and most likely feed them to him.

Shaking the terrifying thoughts of bodily harm from his head, Azriel made his way back into his room, stripping and placing his clothes in the hamper as he went. Just before he climbed into bed, he stood in front of his mirror for a moment to look at his back, knowing the marks were long faded but part of him still missed them. They reminded him that what had happened was real, that he hadn’t dreamt up what he considered to be the best sex he’d had in his life. Sighing, he climbed into bed and turned off the lamp, engulfing the room in darkness before grabbing his phone to send of a text. Holding out with all the hope he had that he hadn’t blown his chances of making things right.

El? I’m sorry for what I said tonight out on that field. I was wrong, so terribly wrong and I need you to know that you’re not forgettable, you could never be forgettable. I want to fix this, and I want to hear about the baby, to be there for you. If you haven’t already blocked my number and you get this message, do you think we could talk soon? Fifteen minutes is all I ask for and then, if you still hate me afterwards I’d understand, but I’m asking for a second chance. A chance to be better, and to show you how much I really wish I could remember what we had done because you deserve that at least.

-Az

All he could do now was wait, and pray to whatever gods there were that she believed he was telling the truth.

—————

It’s shorter for this one because I took things out that I wanted to go into six instead:) Love it? Hate it? Do let me know!💓 If you wanted to be added/removed from the tags I’ll be happy to do so😁

Tags: @starlitfangirl @starsauroras @drunken-starz @myfriendscallmeraba @thesirenwashere @empress-sei @elrielllll @stars-falling @cirieael @verifiefangirl @verifiefangirl-mainblog @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn @mirainthedark05 @fancyclodpaintercookie @acourtofterrasenandvelaris @azriel-archeronn @queen-of-glass @bamchickawowow @slightly-sane-fangirl @empress-ofbloodshed @sleeping-and-books @b00kworm @kvi-arts @rhysandhlcor @tswaney17 @awkward-avocado-s @judexcardanxgreenbriar

#elain x azriel #elain archeron #azriel #modern au #acofas #acomaf #acowar #acotar #acotar fic #surprises #my babies are dumb sometimes #feyre archeron #nesta archeron #cassian #rhysand #lucien vanserra

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badbookreviewclub · 4 years

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Empress Theresa, Chapters 21-28. IT’S FINALLY OVER.

Disclaimer: If you haven’t read the previous review, you can find it here (chapters 11-20). This will contain spoilers.

Well, the ending is finally here and holy fuck this book went off the rails. I only have one reaction to the ending of it and that’s just what the fuck. Just… What The Fuck Norman whatever the fuck you were on when you wrote the end of this book must have been some powerful shit because holy fuck. Let’s just get started and maybe you’ll see what I mean. These chapters are also completely nonsensical in how they’re put together and just so much information is shoved into them that it can get confusing. I’ll do my best to keep it clear. Chapter 21 The boat that was driven into the Exxon Maria was deemed as a terrorist attack because “the world know that this had been a terrorist bombing” (pg 321). They know this because a bunch of explosives had been smuggled onto the boat beforehand by Middle Eastern terrorists (because Norman is convinced there are no other kind of terrorists) and they drove it straight into the Exxon Maria to try and get back at Theresa for her oil mining operation. So how does Theresa retaliate? She drops the price of oil down to ten dollars a barrel. Thinking that OPEC (which I guess Norman still thinks is a terrorist organization. It’s not) is going to retaliate, Theresa has her parents moved to a safe place (West Point), and tells Prime Minister Scherzer that they have to evacuate the Israeli people now. He tells her that it will take 36 hours to start the evacuation. To remind Saudi Arabia of their deal (because there was a deal apparently in Theresa’s mind, even though there was absolutely no deals made, just an offer put on the table) Theresa raises a mountain in the middle of the Saudi Arabian desert.

When the Israeli people start to cross evacuate via the landbridge to Crete because as it turns out, no, the island isn’t ready yet, Theresa parts the fucking sea to make giant water walls that terrorists and missiles can’t get through. Moses parting the Red Sea moment, anyone? Because of this, Prime Minister Scherzer calls Theresa the ‘Right Hand of God’. Theresa also decides that it’s time for her to head home, so the Ambassador of the United States to England asks if she would ride home on the Ronald Reagan (the same ship that led took her to the plane she was supposed to be blown up on) to give the ship her honor back. Theresa disagrees, but Steve says that Theresa should play (American) football with the navy of the Ronald Reagan against the Army (I think Norman means foot soldiers specifically). Theresa does agree eventually.

Someone attempts to do the same drop that Theresa did when she was almost blown up and of course, rather than dissuading them, Theresa gives him tips on how he might survive. Unsurprisingly, he fucking dies. All Theresa does is say “oh whoopsy-doopsy, he fell into still water, not wavy water like I did. Must be why. Sorry that you’re dead bro. Nobody should do that again.” Chapter 22

Theresa heads back to the United States, but in the process, HAL puts everyone in the plane into a deep sleep, including the piolets and every electronic. Somehow though, the Autopilot still works, so that’s lucky for Theresa I guess. Bitch learns how to fly a plane in under four hours. She lands it after causing millions of dollars worth of damages to the windows of buildings after flying just a little too low to them and as such that causes a lot of injuries, but she doesn’t get in trouble for that because she’s just too sweet and innocent for that.

Chapter 23

Am I moving really fast through this? I feel like I am. Though I will say, it’s definitely because I want to be done with this book as fast as I possibly can it’s so fucking dumb. I hate this book so much. I have never met a book that has baffled me as much as this one but absolutely fueled my anger to no end. Anyways… Theresa arrives at West Point (where her parents are) and going to the ranch house that was built specifically for her and her family. The football game takes place, and surprisingly, Theresa and the Navy lose to the Army. 48-36. I don’t know American football very well, despite living in the United States, so if anyone could tell me how good this is I would really appreciate it.

We learn that her island is producing 3 million barrels of oil a day and by the next year is predicted to be producing 15 million barrels a day, so Theresa is rich as fuck and is going to have a monopoly on oil (what a wonderful capitalist she is). Because all the oil tycoons are worried she’s going to monopolize (she is) and then raise the price drastically, they put her into a two-year deal (bc that’s long enough) saying that the price can’t go above ten dollars a barrel. Theresa agrees without hesitation.

It’s suggested to Theresa that she should monopolize the manufacturing industry as well, but she turns that down because it could “start a global trade war” (pg 370).

Theresa, while being a jerk and ignoring everybody when she goes out into public because how could she possibly be expected to meet or even wave or smile at people, finally gives in and talks to 10 North Korean men (via a translator) who have brought her a PBS Documentary to show her the conditions of North Korea. Theresa watches it and is so moved that she comes down and tells the men that she’ll save their families. So essentially, this one PBS Documentary has convinced Theresa to declare war on North Korea’s government.

Because the North Korean’s wouldn’t listen to her because she holds no power, Theresa joins the army (not really because she never ever ever ever sees combat, but she gets the titles that come with it).

Chapter 25

Theresa gets her uniform. She specifically requests to have the male uniform because the female one doesn’t look powerful enough. She also gets men’s shoes instead of women’s shoes because the women’s would look stupid with the men’s uniform, I guess. Theresa also insists on wearing her hair down because nobody is going to say jack shit to her about it. Because Theresa got the uniform we learn that Steve has a uniform kink. “Steve thought I looked awful cute in my little uniform. “‘Hon, you never looked better. It turns me on’” (pg 389).

Now Norman, I thought this book didn’t have sexual content? Yet here we are, learning about Steve’s fetishes. I’m not going to fetish shame anyone, and more power to you Steve for being open with your sexuality, though I just wanted to point out that Norman specifically said this wouldn’t happen (just like the swearing).

Anyways, Theresa goes to a meeting at the White House where she immediately becomes a five-star general, the first person after Omar Bradley died. Now I may be wrong, but Omar Bradley was a World War II veteran (a senior officer) and was Chairman of the Joint Cheifs of Staff and oversaw policymaking during the Korean War. The only thing Theresa has (realistically) done up until this point is kill off most of the population, if not all of the population.

Theresa came up with the idea earlier on that the only way to liberate North Korea is to destroy their weaponry in a certain mile radius and then take over as their dictator for the time being until things could get set up. In a really complicated matter, Theresa sets up a plan wherein ten-miles around Pyongyang, the capital of North Korea, all weapons, planes, bombs, missiles, and helicopters will be destroyed. She works with the South Korean government in order to achieve this with HAL and so they can invade safely.

But, duN DUN DUN! because all the weapons are destroyed, the government orders unarmed citizens and soldiers and other personnel to attack as soon as they see Theresa and the army. Because there’s 5 million of them, the South Korean army knows that they’ll be easily overwhelmed. Theresa’s solution? Take a Japanese island and move it a bit closer to North and South Korea, and then break North and South Korea away from China and move it closer to the Japanese Island. This way the Japanese Island can build a bridge over and then teach North Korea about a new government. And it fucking works.

They invade Pyongyang after doing this and the South Korean army basically liters the city with pictures of Theresa’s face and a promise that she’s going to save and liberate them all. They drop all these pictures and promises with an airplane to hopefully quell the people’s worries. There’s a big crowd of North Koreans who are basically lining a gigantic boulevard and the South Korean’s are surrounding the tanks and Theresa, prepared to shoot anyone who gets rowdy or gets too close. Theresa tells them their leaders have left them on a complete fucking bluff, and the South Korean general who has been working with her confirms that they fled to China. Theresa is so relieved by this she almost starts crying, and then the North Korean’s start cheering and wailing and are basically so so so so so happy that Theresa is their new leader.

And Theresa’s big speech as the new leader? She reads the first couple of paragraphs from the Declaration of Independence. And it’s a smash hit and her greatest success ever. She gives it to a translator so that the North Korean people can understand and just… “Nobody could translate such elegant language on the fly and maintain its beauty. I anticipated that. I’d given the translator the English text the day before and she worked all night at it. When I finished speaking she read what I’d said in Korean with all the emotions and nuances only a Korea could express. My speech or rather the translator’s rendition of it was a spectacular success. The crowd cheered their hearts out. Witnesses said President Stinson cried when I gave the speech. This event, broadcast to the whole world, was called by greatest achievement” (pg 418). And yes, I meant to write ‘a Korea’. That’s how it’s written in the fucking book. But the Declaration of Independence wasn’t written by Theresa and yet somehow it’s ‘her’ speech. And it’s a smashing success because fuck you. Chapter 26

Theresa sets up the South Korean government in North Korea because she can’t be fucked to actually lead it, but comes back when she needs to. In this chapter, Theresa gets really into biology and teaching HAL about biology. She also gets really into archaeology and discovers a bunch of really old Jewish scrolls but nobody can have them. They can look but only she can have them. She also finds Joan of the Arc’s remains because why the fuck not.

Theresa also makes a mountain in the middle of Lake Michigan without consequence. This is all so they can have the Winter Olympics because I guess Mountain = Snow despite the fact that it’s summer the entire year.

Oh yeah, and Theresa recognizes that she could have thousands of lives with teaching HAL biology and learning how to do surgeries that could save lives that couldn’t otherwise be done. But she decides this is a terrible idea because she’ll end up in court if something goes wrong.

“‘I can immobilize them like this [basically just holding their body together in a temporarily immortalized, unaging, undying stated] while the surgeon operates and saves thousands of lives.’ (Theresa) “‘And get yourself thousands of lawsuits when things go wrong. Hell the families will hope something goes wrong so they can go after your money’ (Steve) “‘You’re right. I’d spend the rest of my life in courtrooms. It’s a shame. Greed keeps me from saving lives’” (pg 423).

The only greed keeping you from saving lives is your own. How fucking selfish of you to believe that people want their loved ones to die just so they can get some money. There are horrible people out there in the world like that, there’s no denying it, but the majority of people aren’t. You recognize you could save lives, but you chose not to because you don’t want to go to court if something goes wrong. You’re a fucking villain, Theresa.

Because of this, I really don’t feel bad when Theresa gets hit by a car, breaks her back, and loses the ability to walk. Getting hit by the car was apparently a terrorist attack that was carefully planned because they wanted to hit Theresa. Because everything just has to be a fucking terrorist attack. But this is why Norman had Theresa suddenly pick up an interest in biology that was never ever even hinted at before. It’s so Theresa can start working on a plan to fix her back so she can walk again. And so she can figure out a way to be immortal. You’re supposed to feel bad for Theresa, but I honestly don’t.

Chapter 27

More HAL’s show up because when Theresa was about to be blown up and she jumped from the plane, HAL divided itself into 420 other HAL’s. Now all these HAL’s are merging with people. Because Theresa doesn’t want to not be special anymore, she puts the entire world into a deep sleep under the pretense that all of these people could be another Adolf Hitler and she needs to take care of it and stop that before it happens. You know, so the logical explanation, because she can’t just put on HAL into a deep sleep, is to put the entire world into a deep sleep regardless of the consequences. Doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of surgery or you’re in the ICU. It doesn’t matter if you’re about to die or something is happening. We’re just going to put everyone into a deep sleep because Theresa can’t be fucked to figure out a solution right now.

Chapter 28

600 years have passed and everyone starts to wake up. Everyone thinks Theresa is dead but she shows up with Steve and 420 (nice) children. All these children are geniuses and specialize in something and have the equivalent of like 10 college degrees. So in the past 600 years (where nobody aged, not even Theresa and Steve) the world has advanced massively because of the children and Steve and Theresa.

Theresa also kept the children as 10-year-olds rather than letting them age. “I’d kept them in a pre-puberty state so they wouldn’t fool around with each other” (pg 464). It’s not like they’re siblings and look like mini replicas of you and your husband. It’s not like you should discourage incest among them because incest isn’t a good thing and can mess with someone’s psyche because it’s damaging a familial relationship by intertwining it with a sexual relationship. Not at all.

But these children, as it would turn out, don’t have a HAL. Theresa and Steve just had like 420 (nice) children I guess. No, Theresa just absorbed all of the other HAL’s and will absorb any other HAL that shows up on earth. And that’s the end of the fucking book. This shit show of a book is finally over. I hated it so much and I’m glad to finally be done with it.

-8/10 stars. Get fucked Norman Boutin. Your book is stupid as shit and I hate it.

#Empress Theresa #bad books review #bad book #review #reviewblr #bookblr #the end #it's over #I can finally sleep easy #no more empress theresa #this book was hell #Theresa is still a monster #fuck you theresa #this book is shit #finale

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amilynh · 4 years

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teddythecat1234 replied to your post: For the reader's ask: How did you find your first...

I’m not into Star Trek anymore either. I used to be into TNG when I was young and I stuck with it through DS9 (which I never enjoyed as much) and Voyager (which I liked much better), but Captain Picard will always be MY Captain and the Enterprise D is MY space ship. I never got into any of the later spinoffs.

I have seen all 78 eps of TOS, I saw all the movies up through First Contact (after the hand-off), and my friends and I even got all gussied up like we were going to the formal opera, and we called our opening-night First Contact even "Prom Trek" since none of us had gone to prom (NO regrets: we gave ZERO fucks), and so we made our own prom circa age 26-28 doing something we loved.

I watched TNG S1-S5, and then probably saw half of S6, and really not much afterwards, though I tuned in for the final ep (and was DEEPLY disappointed). My true love there was Beverly. (Ah, Gates McFadden, one of the three main people responsible for the realization of SO MANY of my generation's fans of, "Oh...I'm a *LESBIAN*!!" ...the others are Gillian Anderson and Linda Hamilton.).

I have heard SUCH good things about DS9, but I was at uni at the time, and it was one at, like, 3:30 on Saturday afternoons...and it would break up the day, and I'd forget...it was so inconvenient and non-intuitive that I never remembered to watch it, so I've only seen a smattering of eps (including OF COURSE the Mirror episodes...SO GOOD!). I wanted to like it, but timing worked against me.

I watched and LOOOOVED Voyager. I shipped Captn Katie and Chakotay SO hard..."Resolutions" OMG OMG. I was TRULY hopeful that they would address Captn Katie's escalating instability and risk-taking. And I was even MORE hopeful when they did the ep where she locked herself in her cabin for 3 months. I wanted to see them ADDRESS her severe depression and loss of sense of self when separated from the structure of Starfleet that she was so committed to and dependent on. I wanted to see the Doc relieve her of command in order to address and TREAT her depression...to acknowledge that she needed HELP rather than enabling her and ignoring it. But...they skirted that, as they skirted EVERYTHING they built up.

I hate Brannon Braga with the fiery passion of 10,000 suns. I mean, when he was asked, in S1, how they were going to handle when Tuvok inevitably went into Pon Farr, and THAT ASSHAT was like, "What? Pon what? ...OH! Oh, but that's from the OLD show and this is a different show, so that doesn't apply." WTF YOU ASSHOLE OMG YOU'RE PART OF A WIDER CONTINUITY....AAAARRRFGGHGGHH!!! And...then they DID do ...something with it...and it fell TOTALLY flat for me.

I watched S1-S5 (again), and I WANTED to like "The Year of Hell," but it just didn't LAND for me Because Reset. I LOVED the episode where it turned out that Barclay was able to communicate with them...that slender connection to their home...that was VERY cool. And I LIKED Seven...but I didn't like that stupid catsuit...nor did I like that it became the Seven Of Nine Show.

I loved B'Lanna and Tom. I loved how they DID handle HER response to the obliteration of the Maquis and addressed that she was deliberately engaging in dangerous behaviors. I just wish they'd ALSO done that with Captn Katie; she was ENDANGERING THE WHOLE SHIP. I did appreciate that they revisited the concept, but with another character.

A friend had the headcanon (which is really just logic) that the Delaney twins from Stellar Cartography could almost NEVER rest because, typically, on a small ship working in well-travelled areas, just how much does Stellar Cartography DO? ....And then suddenly they're in a TOTALLY UNMAPPED AREA...and they need to recruit DOZENS to help them do all the mapping of this entirely un-documented area...but there are only 120-140 PEOPLE on board...so they must have never slept.

I think they should NEVER EVER let Chakotay fly the shuttles; they couldn't REPLACE them...and he kept crashing or damaging them or (check out the Coffee Nebula) just, you know, ACCIDENTALLY LEAVING SHUTTLECRAFT BEHIND by flying down to the planet and then BEAMING BACK UP.

I missed it when they stopped emphasizing that there was a SHORTAGE of resources. When Janeway couldn't have her coffee? SO awesome. When Neelix was cooking weird variations of the same thing? SO GOOD. I missed that as they forgot that resources were limited and caution was SUPER necessary.

I watched the series finale and was like...Chakotay and SEVEN??? WTF??? And I wanted not to see it END with them returning...I wanted to see the conflict of "Now we're FINALLY back to Starfleet YAY!" ...and the realization that, after HAVING to function independently for so long, finding it VERY difficult to fit into the demands of a command structure again. I wanted to see the reaction to how things had changed in the Alpha Quadrant...the Maquis adjusting to the annihilation of the Maquis...SO many missed opportunities.

I tried to watch Enterprise. I tried. I mean...Scott Bakula. Hoshi. COOL stuff. And yet, they managed to make SCOTT BAKULA--a man who could make the cut of a dress look GOOD and who could sing, dance, play piano, play football...do ANYTHING (see: Quantum Leap) while seeming personable and likeable...they managed to make him BORING. WTF???? I thought Enterprise was a boringly hot mess...but their Mirror episodes were good. I mean...EMPRESS HOSHI? YES, PLEASE. And the ep where T'Pol told the story of her grandmother who got trapped on earth and "invented" velcro so that she could sell the patent and get money for the family who helped her (I call it the T'Nana episode because it was T'Pol's Nana, yo)...I liked that...but I liked the novel "Strangers from the Sky" better....and it's the same plot.

And since then, and especially with the reboot...I just have walked away; I've DONE my time with Trek. I am no longer enamoured, and yet I still appreciate it.

I REALLY love, even now, some of my favorite Pocket Books novels (from before Pocket made the rules so rigid that the novels were no longer just authorized fanfic). My FAVE ones are "The Entropy Effect," "Ishmael" (Barbara Hambly steathily got them to PUBLISH a Star Trek/Here Come the Brides crossover!!!! With Doctor Who jokes! And there's TIME TRAVEL!), and Jean Lorrah's PUBLISHED Sarek and Amanda novels (which ENTIRELY have the backstory that is from her zines that were my first serious fanfic knowing it was fanfic).

I'm forever grateful that Trek fandom was large enough and FINDABLE enough that it gave me the "in" that I needed, back when there was no internet, to FIND fandom, then to follow the bread crumb trails to the fans of OTHER shows I also loved.

#teddythecat1234 #star trek #tng #voyager #captn katie #janeway #chakotay #logic problems #brannon braga is the literal worst

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kicksparkleaxe-blog · 5 years

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Fashion is the pumpkin latte that tries to catch a trend. Trends always adapt, they chart the course of history. Your aesthetic is your politics, and ideal politics are ethics. Abolish American law, it is based on precedent. Break imperialism, and you break through the bars containing past hurts. I don’t know about God or gods, but the empire of heaven is in those that march fearless into the dark, and a frat star can be a soldier, so can a punk or a composer or a metalhead or a rapper, like an engineer does mental gymnastics. A rain dancer is a victim who reports or records everything, and who trusts she can change the system that violated her. Beat a war drum, but never beat a face; when you shoot, make it a camera so people see what you do. Have such good rhythm and pacifism that they realize they should dance instead of hit; make a hit out of any strike, and strike when something is an injustice. We built all of this, we run your cities, we will demolish it if you try to demolish us because we are dynamite: the Nobel Peace Prize is an apology, because some of us survive and thrive. Einstein’s theory of relativity built the atom bomb, but it also confirmed that all interpretations and experiences of external phenomena is subject to our idiosyncratic feelings, bodies, and experience. He explained it by saying put your hand on a stove for a minute or talk to a pretty girl. It’s one minute either way, but if agony can have an eternity inside, eternity is a timeless connection.

Be the cheerleader who forgives and supports the player that beat her, men and women have skin cells and we are trapped and interactive and porous. Everyone has their own battles, no matter how rich or famous or how small, everyone has a different set of privileges and challenges; something can be broke, broken, and Baroque; the gold has the iron that built it inside. Beauty is a heart of metallic glass, it is hard, and it shines like a prism in any prison until the panopticon bursts in a pop; only punch up and you can kick flip an unfair world. Be a ballerina that tackles anyone who asks if you’re an athlete, be the football player as graceful as swans slicing through a lake. If people copy you, it’s because your moves are awesome; delete copyright, because an open-source world might be an Amazon, and trying to survive the tropics; but it is also a jungle gym, and if oppression is your gym, you will always win. Whether you are an athlete or a gamer or a thinker; if you’re a master, you’re a polymath, and everything you do teaches us about everything else. There are no boundaries between subjects or people or countries, Europe just put those there, so remember that all separation is an illusion. When the bell tolls for someone, they reaffirm the wedding of us all.

Swim with anyone who asks including former enemies, and watch friends just in case. Trust strangers, and always be suspicious of the familiar. Never synchronize: a hybrid is the most vigorous of all; a haute monoculture always dies, so when the calla lily plagiarism bridge collects a toll from your work, then laugh and make a song out of the absurdity. This is a theatre of the absurd, so if you have to push a boulder up a mountain again and again like Sisyphus, change the route every time and celebrate the pain, it gets easier as you go, if you’re a kid forever. Children have immortal souls, and maturity is realizing that you need to have that innocence and danger forever.

The strongest swimmers dive into open water, and they are like the ocean: their surface and muscles may break, but their soul never does. You can bruise or cut the shore of a hero, but an ocean is indestructible. When corporations and autocrats pollute the world, the ocean rises: when it burns, the sea boils, and unexpected things survive. When there is trouble, there are cunning exiles. Never stay still or in one place. Build feet like wings by flying from anything that comes your way, including things you trust and like. The best chefs taste everything, and the best curators can critique anything, and love or hate something on each facet when everything is a spherical gem with infinite facets reflected inside.

Justice is cosmic; listen to the static essence of the sound and fury, the censorship and the silent tears, and you will hear the hum, you will capture the tune, you are every instrument. You are a symphony of one and everyone you’ve ever met. Innovation is based on everything, most of all what is outside the official doctrine; the person that knows a cheater best is his mistress. If you really want to know a celebrity, ask the people they left behind for the spotlight, because the dark contains the real stars. If you want to know the heart of a billionaire, ask his maids and workers and his wife and ex-girlfriends if he is kind. If you want to know a petty person, than listen to a Taylor Swift song.

If a dictator throws a bomb, make a shoe factory. If Forever 21 collapses a factory because corporations do not care about lives, then strap cameras to cockroaches and release them into the rubble. Cockroaches have an amazing vantage point, and they will lead you to the survivors in the rumble. Their exoskeletons teach us how to build bionic limbs. Their movements teach us how to hook up a horror movie. A mosquito killed Alexander the Great like a cruise missile he never saw coming, but people who live in poverty or whose families have known conquerers, we would’ve known.

Be aware of threats from everywhere and know that any recording device has a lightsaber inside, and you can kill any army; what is most dangerous is a threat a Sun King does not see. The light of that arrogance is the demolition team we must reflect back. The moon holds the sun inside, and everyone is most honest in the dark.

Capture any fire with aplomb, and be so beautiful they want to buy your alchemy. Build any gadget or product or art yourself to start, and always be recording and building and breaking and remixing, and every second is another start. When you build a brand, offer a living wage, bathroom breaks, air conditioning, offer resources from materials to instructions to workshops so that the seeds can blossom. We must be a greenhouse in a possible nuclear winter. Let interns write the CEO’s speech; they have trusted me, and I realized: not all CEOs, the best ones are inventors and soldiers and artists at heart.

CEOs have believed in me, because the best bosses are entrepreneurs and they can identify whoever has a diamond mind and they never extract something that harms. The truest entrepreneurs trust whoever believes in themselves enough to correct a leader or suggest something new. The best leaders are those who were humble enough to follow, the best architects have built the structure themselves. Try to plant a scarlet future in the cracked soil of the scars you let show, and you will grow the capacity of an orchid with the hardiness of a dandelion. A spore as soft as a lamb and with the delicacy of a fairy and that flight: it has a wishing well inside, and all vulnerability is brave.

An acorn contains an oak tree inside, and a root system is as intricate as any tree. We have arteries and branches inside of us. We contain multitudes: we must leave our bodies and build trees that never die, and if there is a monster, we must run in the wires and rig the space.

Make a wish, make electricity, shake the grid until it breaks. See the shadows behind the wallpaper, and shake it until you crack the cage. Makers make until they hack the system. We will re-code until the source is ethical: the best of the oppressed always are. Be a Frat King and his Chaos Kween in a hipster scum world. When pilgrims invade Plymouth Rock, make the music they want. When Elon buys Stank Memes, because he can only trace and recite what already happened, hack the algorithm, and make Swank Memes he may never know.

Run so fast that the academy explodes trying to understand; you can bike across the world without understanding the physics of how it works. Drop out of a classroom, drop a mike, this is what a runner looks like. They record everything, they forget nothing, they forgive everything: Katniss kiss the LAPD with the photographic shots you took, because not all cops; every cave has sleeper cells filled with idealism inside. Every nihilist was once an idealist, so prove their sorrow wrong, and you have a dreamer: we must lucid dream and that’s how you make your imagination real.

Hug a rapist when he cries for the girl he assaulted, go to Christian camp when you’re an atheist, and if someone hates you, listen, and prove their prejudices wrong by teaching them that every human defies every category if they are authentic to themselves.

Know that anyone who survives in the eye of a storm becomes a hurricane that will shake the world. Forgive whoever hurts you, but store all the proof, cause the system won’t believe you. The outsiders run the system from within, outside, from without, from everywhere and we are no one place for long.

We built your cities brick by brick, atom by atom, we are the molecular bonds, we are the concrete that binds everything you see, we are the beams in your palaces and the rays between the pixels of your screen and all the star dust that inhabits us all.

We clean your house, we listen when you don’t want us to speak. We sing what the kings think is unspeakable. Every jester is a bard, and every tragedy has a comedy inside. Laugh when you cry. Kings are basic, and so are the barbies they abuse if the barbies never question it. It’s a brat that does. Sour Patch Kids forever in a White Milk Dud present. We will build the future, they steal cause they wish they were us, and honestly, not all white people. Not all activists. We change every moment, so record everything, adapt, evolve.

Be a 4D Chess Emperor or Empress. Play Go, play tetris, play every sport, take Plato’s cave and make playdough, and that is the match that lights it up.

Be everything at once. Abolish the binary code the oppressors used to build this illusory world. Poison is a women’s weapon, and a military is a man’s. The best styled tanks play in our movies and are jacked by girls like Megan Fox and Angelina Jolie, the best KGB agents are as covert as a dictator’s daughter who survives. Tiffany Trump is dating a Nigerian billionaire, and Ivanka is actually very talented; if only she had Tiffany’s heart. Not all rich girls, and watch everyone. Take the moves you like, accept how they are, and if they’re wrong, win a game and only do necessary violence.

That’s your reputation: a reputation is your contribution to history. Your actions define your destiny.

A shithole country can rise and its sons can marry a dictator’s princess. Anyone of any gender or any sex, they can show you that everything is a spectrum. If you are mixed, and the best people combine disparate parts like Rene Descartes, then you are a technicolor go-kart in a tabula rasa world rigged against you. We’ll blow up the dismal science by showing that all the subjects are one.

You can’t choose your character base, but if you accept it, you will know who you are. Know your weaknesses, and reverse them into strength. You must distrust all knowledge and burst into the strange, and you will design the future.

The only answer is the question, and the best questions inspire more. Be too cool for school, be too school for cool, be so confusing and unique that no one accepts you, and one day they will idolize you. If everyone says your wrong, but you believe in yourself: history will absolve you, and your echo will be a banshee for the other ghosts in the night who are both haunted and illuminated by what they saw.

This is what an inventor looks like. Anyone. Everyone. Anything and everything inside and out. Don’t wait for Godot. Be divine. There might be Jesus, if there is, you are a God inside. If there is a trinity, the holy spirit is everywhere, especially where it hurts.

3 is a holy number in Christianity, 9 is lucky in China, in Russia you must give odd roses because a double means someone is going to hurt you. Be an odd number that breaks an ignorant world. The Wizard of Oz is a very Odd man indeed. Don’t just use your body, rig the stage.

Perform when no one is watching, because you should busk what you love, and when you perform, do it like you’re the only one there. There is a quandary between self-expression and communication. Express and communicate to yourself, and someone might hear you and understand one day. If they don’t, well, James Joyce died and his final cry was, “Does no one understand?”

It’s okay if you don’t understand. Admit it. And focus harder. Einstein said he is not so smart. He just stays with problems longest.

Siddhartha left a kingdom to be a holy man. A champion dismantles all power. He plays to master the sport or the game or the art. A true master used to be a slave, and he abolishes the house. May there be no more slaves; then we shall master the world.

This is what a prophet looks like; a prophet is a rebel against the illusion of a still world. Ambitious and ambiguous, hoping to inspire you, who wants to empathize with everyone. Realize that love and hate have the same intensity, and the worst thing is to be “normal” or “moderate”, because as Hannah Arendt said, it is the moderates that refuse to see the fascism behind the manners and the current rules. The extremists are very similar, and they’re the ones we remember, for good or for ill, depending on how you look.

If someone is strong enough to harm you, they can also be an effective ally, because they know your blind spots, and they have weapons and strategies that you can learn.

The fringes define the base, because the boundaries measure the board, every law is a rule, and every outlaw is an inventor.

Be a sex worker in a world that is filled with prostitutes, be Holden Caulfield instead of his screenwriter brother. If Marie Antoinette says let them eat cake, and starves you, be a cake boss and make a culture that France wishes they had. I speak French, it is very beautiful and I’ve lived in Paris: it was my first true home. But I can’t watch 12 Years a Slave in French, though I’ve watched it many times in English. The illusion of the linguistic flourishes: it hurts.

May the oppressors eat their own chaos like Kate Tempest being an intersectional feminist with a prize named for Ted Hughes. We will play out the consequences of their wrongs for them so well, they will want our cake. All the frosting and the decorations have within them a blueprint out of abuse.

Be a Trojan horse or a lover someone didn’t think they’d like, but you’re actually the best. Be a Helen and fuck whoever you want, start a war for your freedom, and trust anyone who would fight a battle for you. Be Joan of Arc in a Teen Vogue world that only catalogues the basic, but wishes it was you. Another magazing in another country for adults will invite you to shoot for them; that’s happened to me.

All selfies are solipsism. May your self worth be a documentary that tells your truth. A hero’s journey never dies, and a hero is anyone that tries. Anyone is a hero. This is the West Coast. You cotillion shits and Dismay-flour equestrians and polo players invaded, so we will use your ashes to build a better world. We will beat you at your own games, we will make our own, and we will break and bend this into a better world. Bend it like Beckham, but Bend it like Beckett too.

Europe is dying and exported its fascism. We are a port to the East, we come from the South. Westworld is basic. This is a globe. A circle has infinite edges according to mathematical theory, and Thomas Ligotti and True Detective. A circle includes everyone, and a sphere defies every box by bending its architecture to show its confinement, or being too big to fit. Throw balls, jump a base, dive from a board or a helicopter or a bungee, be a gymnast, be a football player, be an inventor, be an entrepreneur, be a scientist, and if you are an artist, be a dissident. Shoot the hipsters. Explode the academy. May the earth be our school.

Be the cheerleader who forgives and supports the player that beat her, men and women have skin cells and we are trapped and interactive and porous. Everyone has their own battles, no matter how rich or famous or how small; something can be broke, broken, and Baroque; the gold has the iron that built it inside. Beauty is a heart of metallic glass, it is hard, and it shines like a prism in any prison until the panopticon bursts in a pop; only punch up and you can kick flip an unfair world. Be a ballerina that tackles anyone who asks if you’re an athlete, be the football player as graceful as swans slicing through a lake. If people copy you, it’s because your moves are awesome; delete copyright, because an open-source world might be an Amazon, and trying to survive the tropics; but it is also a jungle gym, and if oppression is your gym, you will always win. Whether you are an athlete or a gamer or a thinker; if you’re a master, you’re a polymath, and everything you do teaches us about everything else. There are no boundaries between subjects or people, Europe just put those there, so remember that all separation is an illusion. When the bell tolls for someone, they reaffirm the wedding of us all.

Swim with anyone who asks including former enemies, and watch friends just in case. Trust strangers, and always be suspicious of the familiar. Never synchronize: a hybrid is the most vigorous of all; a haute monoculture always dies, so when the calla lily plagiarism bridge collects a toll from your work, then laugh and make a song out of the absurdity. This is a theatre of the absurd, so if you have to push a boulder up a mountain again and again like Sisyphus, change the route every time and celebrate the pain, it gets easier as you go if you’re a kid forever. Children have immortal souls, and maturity is realizing that you need to have that innocence and danger forever.

The strongest swimmers dive into open water, and they are like the ocean: their surface and muscles may break, but their soul never does. You can bruise or cut the shore of a hero, but an ocean is indestructible. When there is smog, the ocean rises. When there is trouble, there are cunning exiles. Never stay still or in one place. Build feet like wings by flying from anything that comes your way, including things you like. The best chef has a taste for everything.

Capture any fire with aplomb, and be so beautiful they want to buy your alchemy. Build any gadget or product or art or thought yourself to start, and always be recording and building and breaking and remixing, and every second is another start. When you build a brand, offer a living wage, bathroom breaks, air conditioning, offer resources from materials to instructions to workshops so that the seeds can blossom. We must be a greenhouse in a possible nuclear winter. Let interns write the CEO’s speech; they have trusted me, and I realized: not all CEOs, the best ones are inventors and soldiers and artists at heart. Your brand should be your soul, it should reflect your actions and your fate and the response you chose, it should be bonded by everyone you’ve ever hired, everyone who has ever inspired you, the people you inspire, and the sweat of everyone’s brow.

CEOs have believed in me, because the best bosses are entrepreneurs and they can identify whoever has a diamond mind and they never extract something that harms. The truest entrepreneurs trust whoever believes in themselves enough to correct a leader or suggest something new. The best leaders are those who were humble enough to follow, the best architects have built the structure themselves. Try to plant a scarlet future in the cracked soil of the scars you let show, and you will grow the capacity of an orchid with the hardiness of a dandelion. A spore is as soft as a lamb, with the delicacy of a fairy and that flight: it has a wishing well inside, and all vulnerability and every hope makes a brave warrior.

We built your cities brick by brick, atom by atom, we are the molecular bonds, we are the concrete that binds everything you see, we are the beams in your palaces and the rays between the pixels on your screen and all the star dust that inhabits us all.

We clean your house, we listen when you don’t want us to speak. We sing what the kings think is unspeakable. Every jester is a bard, and every tragedy has a comedy inside. Laugh when you cry. Kings are basic, and so are the Barbies they abuse if the Barbies never question it. It’s a Bratz or a troll doll that does. Sour Patch Kids forever in a White Milk Dud present. We will build the future, they steal cause they wish they were us, and honestly, not all white people. Not all activists. We change every moment, so record everything, adapt, evolve.

Be a 4D Chess Emperor or Empress. Play Go, play tetris, play every sport, take Plato’s cave and make playdough, and that is the match that lights it up.

That’s your reputation: a reputation is your contribution to history. Your actions define your destiny.

The only answer is the question, and the best questions inspire more. Be too cool for school, be too school for cool, be so confusing and unique that no one accepts you, and one day they will idolize you. If everyone says you’re wrong, but you believe in yourself: history will absolve you, and your echo will be a banshee for the other ghosts in the night, who are both haunted and illuminated by what they saw.

It’s okay if you don’t understand. Admit it. And focus harder. Einstein said he is not so smart. He just stays with problems longest.

This is what a prophet looks like; a prophet is a rebel against the illusion of a still world. Ambitious and ambiguous, hoping to inspire you, who wants to empathize with everyone, including the people they sometimes hate for the pain. Realize that love and hate have the same intensity, and the worst thing is to be “normal” or “moderate”, because as Hannah Arendt said, it is the moderates that refuse to see the fascism behind the manners and the current rules and the fringes who see that anarchy is the fairest forge of all. The extremists are very similar, and they’re the ones we remember, for good or for ill, depending on how you look.

If someone is strong enough to harm you, they can also be an effective ally, because they know your blind spots, and they have weapons and strategies that you can learn.

The fringes define the base, because the boundaries measure the board, every law is a rule, and every outlaw is an inventor: the instruction manual and guidebook are everything you’ve ever consumed; understand what you eat, or it will consume you.

Be a Trojan horse or a lover someone didn’t think they’d like, but you’re actually the best. Be a Helen and fuck whoever you want, start a war for your freedom, and trust anyone who would fight a battle for you; if someone would’ve launch a war for you, leave, and if they gang-rape you or batter your or abuse you, honestly, try to let their new girlfriends know and keep an eye on your ex-abuser, like we must protect each other. Be Joan of Arc in a Teen Vogue world that only catalogues the basic, but wishes it was you. Another magazine in another country for adults will invite you to shoot for them; that’s happened to me.

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veryangryhedgehog · 6 years

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“The Priestess, the Emperor, the Empress,” an Ede Valley story by Hedgehog.

“You want me to do what?” Cindy blinked at Niko from across the dining room table. It was December, and finally the first real snow of the year was falling outside the frosted windows.

“Just... you know, back me up,” Niko shrugged. “I’m gonna be goin’ into some pretty dangerous turf, and I need all the firepower I can get.”

Cindy frowned. “Well... what about Lila? She can take down pretty much anything, right? Besides, I got shit of my own to deal with.” Like an ever enigmatic quest for “the Truth”, whatever that meant, and a long-lost brother who hadn’t called her in the last forty-eight hours, she added to herself.

“I’m not worried about getting jumped,” Niko explained. “I’m more concerned about being intimidating. This guy’s not violent, as far as I know, but a hard customer to crack. I just need him to know we mean serious business.”

“You’re the spectacle, and I’m the steel,” Lila added from between them as she took a bite out of an especially crunchy bagel, which sort of temporarily cancelled out her badass persona.

Shaking her head, Cindy folded her arms. “Witchcraft isn’t even remotely ‘spectacular.’ I don’t know what you expect me to do.”

“Not spectacular?” Niko scoffed. “What do you call the fire that comes out of your friggin’ hands then?” He wiggled his fingers dramatically. “5 out of 10? Lacked a certain pizazz?”

“Oh, that? It’s not as great as you think it is,” Cindy shuffled in her chair. “I mean it’s fire, but... look.” She reached for the chain she kept around her neck and showed them the yellow-orange amulet that dangled from it. “It works through one of these, but they don’t have much power. I only had a little to work with, after all. Anything big will expend most of its juice. I mostly keep it for emergencies.”

“Perfect, wonderful. Listen: I don’t care if it only burns at room temperature,” Niko leaned towards her, grinning. “I just need it to look like it’s something.”

“I dunno...”

“Okay how about this: if you use it all up, I’ll get you the shit to make a new one free of charge. Better yet, a better one.”

Frowning, Cindy thought for a moment. She had a bad feeling about this. But at the same time, Niko and Lila had become her friends, and if they needed her help...

“Alright,” she said finally, sighing as she leaned forward on the table. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

“Yes!” Niko stood, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. “This is the big one, ladies and, uh, ladies. I think some celebration is in order. I’ll go make some pancakes.”

Cindy raised an eyebrow. “Pancakes? Why that of all things?”

“It’s the only thing he knows how to make,” Lila supplied.

“Hey! That’s not true,” Niko pouted. “I’ve learned how to make a lot of stuff in the last couple months.”

“My apologies, young master,” she bowed as much as she could while sitting. “It’s the only thing he knows how to make well.”

Nodding, Niko seemed satisfied. “Much better,” he replied, before disappearing into the kitchen.

Once he was gone, Cindy turned to Lila. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” she asked. “I feel like I’m kind of taking your job.”

“Oh, no,” Lila smiled, “it was my idea, actually. I’m...” she paused, looking back into the kitchen. “I’m afraid Niko’s getting a little in over his head with this one. People with guns I can, and have, dealt with, but this is... something more along the lines of your expertise. I’d feel much more confident if you were there, for your knowledge if nothing else.”

“And are either of you actually going to tell me what it is we’re walking into?” Cindy asked.

Lila sighed, as if she didn’t quite believe what she was about to say. “We’re going to conduct business. With a daemon.”

Cindy blinked. “Oh shit.”

So it was with great reluctance the following afternoon after school that she met Niko and Lila at the house and together they walked down to the old part of town. Lila had her katana strapped to her shoulder like a backpack, and certainly had several weapons besides on her. Though Niko seemed less armed, there were several suspicious lumps under his trench coat that Cindy suspected were guns. Cindy felt positively naked with only the fire amulet and the hasty protection charm she’d whipped up for the three of them last night.

Meanwhile, Lila was feeling just as nervous, if not more so. She wasn’t used to not being the toughest person in the room, and her every instinct was screaming to bodily grab Niko and run. But she didn’t.

Niko had found himself a real niche here, in this small, unimportant suburb, selling substances of an... occult description, mostly just because this town was so gosh-darn weird. With the exception of that one family down the street from the abandoned house—what was their name? The Jeffersons?—she suspected that there wasn’t a single ordinary person in the whole of Ede Valley.

She knew that he’d been saving the money he’d been making until his eighteenth birthday rolled around and they could get a place that didn’t have more cobwebs than a football player with a concussion. If he could get a daemon in the chain of supply and demand, that would be huge.

But still, it was one of the more dangerous things she’d done in her life, right up there with trying to steal the watch off a rich mob kid with a heavily-armed bodyguard. Daemons, to put it lightly, weren’t human, they didn’t think like humans did, and most could probably tie her up in a knot of words before she’d even drawn her katana. Niko might fare better, he was good at that kind of thing. But Lila was afraid, even for him.

Lila was so lost in thoughts that she didn’t realize they’d reached their destination until the hum of the neon sign cut through the haze. Blinking, she saw with a start that she recognized that image of a scrubby goat. This was the bar right below the safe house, err well, ex-safe house. She glanced over to Niko and briefly caught his eye, trying to convey just how dangerous this was. True, it had been almost four months since the “Vincent Incident” but she was still paranoid that they might be recognized.

Niko nodded, ever so slightly, probably telling her to keep her cool, and then carefully stepped over the threshold, into the Smiling Goat.

Apt name, Lila thought, almost bitterly as she followed suit with Cindy behind her, though she had no idea whether the proprietor had any real associations with the land down under. From the décor, it certainly didn’t seem like it. If anything, the place had a worn-in feeling; Lila would have called it homely if not for the crawling feeling that something dangerous lurked in these walls.

Niko gestured for the two of them to hold back, and Cindy and Lila obliged, glancing around the place while Niko approached the bartender, a tall, dark-haired kid with an exceptional amount of tattoos. He leaned on the counter conspiratorially, a smirk that seemed to say he already owned the place painted on flawlessly. “I’m here to speak to the boss,” he said softly, but firmly. “He knows we’re coming.”

So far, so good as the bartender nodded. But Lila shouldn’t have dared to even think it, because just then Cindy happened to glance over at the bartender, her mouth dropped open, and she almost shouted: “Tommy?”

Annnnd the spell was broken. They had lost the intimidating edge. They had ceased to be dark, mysterious strangers and had become teenagers playing as them. But surprisingly, the bartender didn’t scowl, or scoff, he looked kind of sheepish, and almost a little scared. “Cindy,” he said, “what are you doing here?”

Swiveling back and forth between the two, Niko looked just as confused as Lila felt. “You two know each other?”

“He’s my brother,” Cindy provided before turning back to the bartender, Tommy. “Why didn’t you call?”

“I, uh...” Tommy began.

“Wait, your brother?” Niko interrupted over the top of him. “I thought you only had one of those!”

She shrugged. “I thought I did until two days ago.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means,” came a new voice, “that dramatic irony is still functioning as it should.”

All eyes turned as the black curtain at the back of the bar was pushed aside and a tall man with round spectacles slunk out. Said curtain was then nearly set on fire a second later out of sheer reflex.

“Oh hell no,” Cindy said, a jet of flame separating her and the newcomer. “Not you too.”

“Cool your jets!” Niko yelled. “Are ya trying to set the place on fire?”

“I would if it would burn this son of a bitch with it.”

The newcomer chuckled. “I’m a little tougher than that, I’m afraid.”

As Cindy hesitantly put out her flames, Lila took a small step forward, her hand twitching near the hilt of the katana. She could see why Cindy had reacted the way she did, there was something about this man that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. At first glance he appeared harmless, even a little foppish with his dishwater blond hair flopping over his round glasses. But there was something about his eyes. They were too sharp, too focused for the persona he was trying to display.

Niko, on the other hand, didn’t appear to be picking up on any of this. “Do you know everyone in this town?” he asked Cindy.

“Apparently so,” she glared at the newcomer.

He shook his head. “And you’re not even going to introduce me? That’s a little bit rude.”

“No offence, but I met you two and a half years ago for two minutes, and that meeting ended with me in a mental ward for three months.”

“Fair point,” he nodded.

Lila paused mid-breath. This man was clearly the daemon they were looking for, and if Cindy had met him two years ago... she nodded to herself, the pieces falling together. A brief glance over to Niko revealed that he had come to the same conclusion.

“The name’s Cowell,” the daemon continued. “And I’m the proprietor of this establishment.” He turned to Niko. “I believe you are...” Lila froze as his tongue closed around the first syllable of Niko’s name. The pub seemed empty, but who knew who could be listening at this very moment. “Looking for me,” he said instead, seeming to enjoy the momentary panic that had sprouted on their faces.

“That’s right.” Niko recovered quickly. “We spoke over the phone. I’m very interested in this place, and all the... things you’ve got inside of it.”

Cowell simply seemed bemused from the many inches of height he had on Niko. “Ah, I see. A connoisseur of the more... obscure trinkets, are you hmm?”

“More of a... business man, I’d say,” Niko matched his tone with ease.

“Mhm,” Cowell nodded. “Then let’s talk in my office, shall we?”

He beckoned Niko to the back curtain, but quickly stepped in front of it as Lila—and Cindy, a little more hesitantly—tried to follow. “Ah, ah, ah,” he intoned. “I don’t let just anyone back here, you know.”

Frowning, Niko stared at Cowell for a moment, trying to read the vague smile. But he quickly gave up. “Cindy?” he asked. “You’re good with doin’ a little catch-up with your bro, yeah?”

She looked a little relieved, and nodded.

“Good. But Lila’s with me.”

It was now Cowell’s turn to eye Niko. He seemed just on the cusp of refusing, but then smirked a little and nodded. “Alright then, the two of you follow me.”

Across the pub, Cindy watched them disappear behind the curtain. With anyone else she would have been worried. But this was Lila, after all, and Niko was no slouch either. After a moment, she turned back to Tommy, who had been polishing the same glass for about ten minutes now.

“Sorry I didn’t call,” he muttered finally, after they sat in silence for a minute.

“I was worried, you know,” she admitted, “that you’d disappeared again, or worse, and that I’d never see you again.”

Tommy looked up from his glass. “It’s just... it sounds like you and mom and Mike have a nice life now, one that I’m not a part of, and I would just bring back memories.”

Though she nodded, Cindy still wasn’t fully convinced. “You saw dad, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re not like him, you know. I know you worry that you are.” She neglected to elaborate why she was certain of this. “There’s someone else you take after, but it’s not mom either. I don’t know who it is.”

“Thanks.” Even if she didn’t, Tommy seemed to know who she was referring to, and he brightened up a little.

“Look,” she sighed, “I see what you mean about coming back from the dead and all, so I’ll make you a deal: I won’t tell mom you’re here, but in return, you need to tell me the whole story, where you’ve been all these years, all of it.”

Tommy paused, staring off into the distance for a moment, before he finally nodded. “Alright. Deal. But I can’t just ‘tell’ you. I kinda have’ta show you. Once Cowell comes back, I’ll see if I can get off early.”

And so they waited. They would be waiting awhile, because back in the office, there were some... complications.

Cowell led Niko and Lila down the black hallway and into the last door on the left. Lila’s hand twitched, ready for anything as the door opened into... a small, cozy office. The only off thing about the whole affair was the shelves upon shelves of jars containing, what else, souls. They were of all colors and consistencies, some adrift peacefully while others almost seemed to be fighting to break free.

“Fascinating, isn’t it?” Cowell said suddenly after he noticed Niko and Lila’s transfixed gazes. “How each one is so unique? I sometimes take them just because I’m curious about what they look like. And taste like,” he added, grinning to himself.

He didn’t seem aware of just how odd that sounded.

“Funny,” he continued. “Most people are a bit scared once they find out what’s in those jars, but not you two, eh?”

Niko scoffed, drawing his gaze away. “After the things we’ve seen, this is downright calming.” He plopped down in the chair in front of the desk without waiting to be invited. “But neither of us are starry-eyed kids you can con out of our essences or whatever the hell. We’re here for business.”

“Yes, yes. Of course.” Cowell grinned, sitting as well. “The young mob heir, striking off on his own, to prove to them all that he too can construct an empire with his own two hands. Thrilling stuff really, though the plotline’s been done before. Though never with this specific ‘occult’ twist.”

Raising an eyebrow, Niko shook his head. “Whatever you say, pal. Now, seems to me that you’ve got a lotta souls, uh, hanging around. I could take some off your hands, cut you a really nice deal...”

Lila remained standing, and listened with half an ear as she continued to glance around the room. She had never had a mind for this business stuff like Niko, so she let him work his magic while she prepared to back his honeyed words with steal if necessary.

The souls were really quite mesmerizing. They seemed to be in a bizarre half-state between liquid and gas, though some leaned more one way than the other, floating in their jars like hair immersed in water. But now something else caught her attention: a small, mahogany cabinet opposite the desk. She narrowed her eyes, attempting to see past the frosted glass. But, to no avail.

When a lull appeared in the negotiations, Lila took her chance. “Forgive me,” she said, “but what’s in there?” she gestured to the offending case.

“Ahhh....” Cowell’s smile grew even wider. “That’s where I keep the more... interesting things I’ve collected over the years.”

“Do you mind?” she asked, reaching with trepidation towards the cabinet.

“Be my guest.”

The doors swung open with a quiet creak, and Lila frowned at the contents beyond. Small, glass bottles glowed in the pale light, each containing... something. They looked a bit like the souls, vapory and translucent, but these things had different textures to them.

Lila picked up one of the vials. On it was a thin, paper label which read in a scratchy hand: “Loyalty, Penelope Blanchett, 2017.” Inside, the loyalty glowed a soft pink, but there seemed to be something darker at the center, almost like a heartbeat.

“Loyalty?” she asked. “What does that mean?”

Cowell rose to join her at the cabinet. “It’s all the little bits of people I’ve collected. Things they can, but probably shouldn’t, live without. Bit of a macabre hobby, but there it is. Courage, knowledge, fear, I’ve taken them all. Oh, this one’s my favorite,” he pointed out one of the taller, thinner vials. “A teenage girl’s perspective. A genius move if I do say so myself.”

Immediately, Lila and Niko caught each other’s eye. A teenage girl missing her perspective? They knew someone who fit that description. Without words, a plan was formed.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Niko interrupted. “I know a lot of people who would pay big bucks for something like that. Come on, let’s get back to business.”

As Cowell turned his attention away from Lila, she took the split second chance and snatched the vial before closing the cabinet, then focused once more on the conversation. All seemed to go well, Cowell didn’t spare even a glance in her direction.

Eventually, Niko and Cowell came to an arrangement. And just like that, Cowell became part of the ever-growing supply chain. Those... acquaintances of Niko’s that were willing to pay for genuine human souls would finally get them. What they were actually going to do with them, Lila didn’t even want to guess.

Niko and Cowell stood and shook hands. “We’ll be in touch,” Niko smirked.

“I await with anticipation.”

Turning to leave, Lila followed Niko to the door. She finally felt herself begin to relax. This had been a highly successful endeavor, after all.

“By the way...” Cowell said, and Lila’s heart sank right back down as she heard the smile in his voice. She had relaxed too soon. “That bottle you’ve got in your pocket isn’t what you think it is.”

“I... what are you...?” Niko tried desperately to say something, but Cowell simply held up a hand, staring intently at Lila, and Niko fell silent.

“Check the label.”

Hesitantly, Lila pulled the vial from her jeans pocket. Inside, the only thing she could see was an almost clear sheet, slightly tinted a rose color, almost the most solid thing in Cowell’s collection. She turned it over in her hand and read the faded paper: “Perspective, Agnes May, 1975?” Niko leaned over and stared at it as well.

“Wait, this isn’t—” he began, before he realized what he was saying and shut his mouth.

“Your friend’s?” Cowell continued for him. “Afraid not.”

Lila took a step towards him, her face set. “Where is Cindy’s vial? We know you have it,” she growled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His smile said that he knew exactly what they were talking about.

“Bullshit.” Niko stepped in. “We know you’re the daemon she made a deal with, you bastard.”

“I don’t have it.”

Oddly, it seemed as if he was telling the truth. “What?” Niko asked.

“I never had it to begin with,” Cowell shrugged. “You can’t take someone’s perspective if they can already see the Truth. You just need to give them a little push.”

“But... why?” Lila shook her head. “Why would you just ruin her life like that?”

“I wouldn’t say I really ruined it, per say,” Cowell grinned. “I mean, I’d say that you two are probably the closest friends she’s had in years. And believe me, you’ll see someday. Now if you’d kindly hand me back poor Agnes May’s perspective, thank you, then I’ll show you out. I’ve had quite a bit of excitement for one day.”

Grabbing both of their shoulders, he guided Niko and Lila out of the office and back to the pub. And a silent vow was passed between them: don’t tell Cindy. After everything she’d been through, finding out that it had all been a lie, well, they weren’t sure what she would do.

Niko made a mental note to not get the ingredients for too big a fire amulet. He did not want to be witness to that explosion. Better to wait until the time was right.

“We’ll, uh, get out of your hair, then,” Niko said. “A real pleasure.”

“Oh no,” Cowell’s smile grew even broader. “The pleasure’s all mine.”

#Ede Valley #Cindy Miller #Tommy Miller #Niko Borozov #Lila Finn #Cowell #story #writing

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modernmarcy · 6 years

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Looking to catch up on Adventure Time before the finale, but intimidated by the thought of watching 279 episodes? Watched the series before, but want to relive the magic one last time before the finale without filler episodes (aside from Bubbline, of course)? This is for you!

Without further ado, here is an updated episode guide containing all the AT episodes that contain major plot, important backstory, and/or Bubbline moments. I have also included optional episodes that I think will increase your understanding/enjoyment of the show (I put the reason next to it; if it says something about being an arc, backstory, etc., be warned that not watching may make major plot points of the show a bit more confusing.)

I have condensed the show down from 279 to 181 of the 10-minute episodes (only 100 if you skip all the optional episodes).

Once again, optional episodes are in italics. Episodes with Bubbline moments, characterization and/or major backstory/plot related to Marcy/PB are in bold. Anything with a an asterisk (*) can be watched at any time (order doesn’t matter, though you may still want to watch it in the same season). I hope you enjoy!

Season 1

1 x 2 “Trouble in Lumpy Space” | Introduces LSP

1 x 3 “Prisoners of Love” | Introduces the Ice King

1 x 5 “The Enchiridion”

1 x 9 “My Two Favorite People” | Introduces Jake & Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc

1 x 10 “Memories of Boom Boom Mountain”

1 x 12 “Evicted”

1 x 15 “What is Life?” | Introduces NEPTR + Ice King characterization

1 x 16 “Ocean of Fear” | Finn characterization

1 x 17 “When Wedding Bells Thaw” | Ice King characterization

1 x 20 “Freak City” | Introduces Magic Man

1 x 22 “Henchman”

1 x 24 “What Have You Done?” | Ice King characterization (*)

1 x 25 “His Hero”

Season 2

2 x 1 “It Came from the Nightosphere”

2 x 2 “The Eyes” | Ice King characterization

2 x 3 “Loyalty to the King” | Ice King characterization

2 x 7 “Power Animal” | Establishes more of Adventure Time universe

2 x 10 “To Cut a Woman’s Hair”

2 x 11 “Chamber of Frozen Blades” | Ice King characterization (*)

2 x 12 “Her Parents” | Jake and Lady Rainacorn (LR) arc

2 x 15 “The Real You”

2 x 17 “Death in Bloom” | Establishes more of the AT universe

2 x 18 “Susan Strong” | Introduces Susan Strong arc

2 x 20 “Go with Me” | Subtle Bubbline

2 x 24 “Mortal Folly”

2 x 25 “Mortal Recoil”

2 x 26 “Heat Signature”

Season 3

3 x 3 “Memory of a Memory”

3 x 5 “Too Young”

3 x 6 “The Monster” | LSP characterization/general cuteness (*)

3 x 7 “Still” | Ice King characterization

3 x 9 “Fiona and Cake” | Gender bending episode (*)

3 x 10 “What was Missing”

3 x 14 “Beautopia” | Susan Strong arc continues

3 x 17 “Thank You” | Not vital to plot, but adorable (*)

3 x 18 “Apple Thief” | Not vital to plot, but a favorite (*)

3 x 19 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 1”

3 X 20 “Holly Jolly Secrets Pt. 2″

3 x 21 “Marceline’s Closet”

3 x 25 “Dad’s Dungeon” | Finn and Jake background

3 x 26 “Incendium” | Flame Princess arc

Season 4

4 x 1 “Hot to the Touch” | Flame Princess arc

4 x 2 “Five Short Graybles” | Established more of AT universe (*)

4 x 5 “Return to the Nightsophere”

4 x 6 “Daddy’s Little Monster”

4 x 8 “Hug Wolf” | Generally cute (*)

4 x 9 “Princess Monster Wife” | Ice King characterization + great episode

4 x 10 Goliad

4 x 11 “Beyond this Earthly Realm” | Ice King characterization

4 x 13 “Princess Cookie” | Generally cute

4 x 15 “Sons of Mars” | Established more of AT universe

4 x 16 “Burning Low” | Flame Princess arc + PB characterization

4 x 18 “King Worm” | Serious foreshadowing

4 x 19 “Lady and Peebles”

4 x 20 “You Made Me”

4 x 22 “Ignition Point” | Flame Princess Arc

4 x 23 “Reign of Gunters”

4 x 24 “I Remember You"

4 x 26 “The Lich”

Season 5

5 x 1 “Finn the Human”

5 x 2 “Jake the Dog”

5 x 6 “Jake the Dad” | Jake/LR arc

5 x 5 “All the Little People” | Cool and very slight Bubbline cameo

5 x 9 “All Your Fault”

5 x 11 “Bad Little Boy” | Gender bending + Marcy/Ice King development

5 x 12 “Vault of Bones” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 14 “Simon and Marcy”

5 x 16 “Puhoy” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 17 “BMO Lost” | SO ADORABLE. If you don’t watch you’re missing out (*)

5 x 18 “Princess Potluck” | Ice King characterization (*)

5 x 20 “Shh!” | Established more AT universe and is cute/neat (*)

5 x 21 “The Suitor”

5 x 22 “The Party’s Over, Isla de Senorita” | Ice King character development

5 x 23 “One Last Job” | Jake character development

5 x 26 “Wizards Only, Fools”

5 x 28 “Be More” | BMO backstory (*)

5 x 29 “Sky Witch”

5 x 30 “Frost and Fire” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 31 “Too Old”

5 x 32 “Earth and Water”

5 x 33 “Time Sandwich”

5 x 34 “The Vault"

5 x 38 “Red Starved”

5 x 40 “Play Date” | Finn character development

5 x 41 “The Pit” | Finn character development

5 x 45 “Blade of Grass”

5 x 46 “Rattleballs” | Finn character development

5 x 47 “The Red Throne” | Flame Princess arc

5 x 48 “Betty”

5 x 50 “Lemonhope Pt. 1″

5 x 51 “Lemonhope Pt. 2″

5 x 52 “Billy’s Bucket List”

Season 6

6 x 1 “Wake Up”

6 x 2 “Escape from the Citadel”

6 x 4 “The Tower” | Finn character development

6 x 6 “Breezy”

6 x 9 “The Prince Who Wanted Everything | Gender bending (*)

6 x 10 “Something Big”

6 x 12 “Ocarina” | Jake character development

6 x 14 “Princess Day”

6 x 16 “Joshua and Margaret Investigate”

6 x 19 “Is That You?” | Flame Princess arc

6 x 22 “The Cooler” | Flame Princess arc

6 x 23 “The Pajama War”

6 x 24 “Evergreen”

6 x 25 “Astral Plane” | Martin arc

6 x 26 “Gold Stars” | Lich arc

6 x 27 “The Visitor” | Martin arc

6 x 28 “The Mountain” | Flame Princess arc + Lemongrab characterization

6 x 29 “Dark Purple” | Susan Strong arc

6 x 32 “Friends Forever” | Ice King characterization

6 x 35 “Graybles 1000+” | Foreshadowing

6 x 38 “You Forgot Your Floaties”

6 x 39 “Be Sweet” | Lich arc + LSP character development

6 x 40 “Orgalorg”

6 x 42 “Hot Diggity Doom”

6 x 43 “The Comet”

Season 7

7 x 1 “Bonnie & Neddy”

7 x 2 “Varmits”

7 x 4 “Mama Said” | Finn/Jake character development

7 x 5 “Football” | Adorable BMO (*)

7 x 6 “Marceline the Vampire Queen”

7 x 7 “Everything Stays”

7 x 8 “Vamps About”

7 x 9 “The Empress Eyes”

7 x 10 “May I Come In?”

7 x 11 “Take Her Back”

7 x 12 “Checkmate”

7 x 13 “The Dark Cloud”

7 x 14 “The More You Moe, The Moe You Know (Part I)” | BMO arc

7 x 15 “The More you Moe, The Moe You Know (Part II)” | BMO arc

7 x 18 “President Porpoise is Missing!” | Adorable + Marcy cameo

7 x 21 “King’s Ransom”

7 x 25 “Flute Spell” | Introduces Huntress Wizard

7 x 26 “The Thin Yellow Line”

7 x 27 “Broke His Crown”

7 x 28 “Don’t Look”

7 x 29 “Beyond the Grotto” | Established more AT universe/cool (*)

7 x 30 “Lady Rainacorn of the Crystal Dimension” | LR backstory (*)

7 x 31 “I am a Sword”

7 x 33 “Normal Man”

7 x 34 “Elemental”

7 x 35 “Five Short Tables” | Gender bending (*)

7 x 36 “The Music Hole”

7 x 38 “Preboot”

7 x 39 “Reboot”

Season 8

8 x 1 “Two Swords”

8 x 2 “Do No Harm” | Finn / Fern characterization

8 x 3 “Wheels” | Jake characterization/background (*)

8 x 4 “High Strangeness”

8 x 6 “Jelly Beans Have Powers”

8 x 7 “The Invitation”

8 x 8 “Whipple the Happy Dragon” | Susan Strong arc + Finn characterization

8 x 9 “Mysterious Island” | Finn characterization

8 x 10 “Imaginary Resources” | BMO characterization

8 x 11 “Hide and Seek”

8 x 12 “Min and Marty”

8 x 13 “Helpers”

8 x 14 “The Light Cloud”

8 x 16 "Skyhooks”

8 x 17 "Bespoken For”

8 x 18 “Winter Light”

8 x 19 “Cloudy” | Finn character development

8 x 20 “Slime Central”

8 x 21 “Happy Warrior”

8 x 22 “Hero Heart”

8 x 23 “Skyhooks II”

8 x 24 “Abstract” | Jake arc

8 x 25 “Ketchup”

8 x 26 “Fionna and Cake and Fionna” (*)

8 x 27 “Whispers” | Lich/Sweet P arc + Fern characterization

8 x 28 “Three Buckets”

Season 9

9 x 1 The Wild Hunt

9 x 3 “Son of a Rap Bear” | Flame Princess arc

9 x 4 “Bonnibel Bubblegum”

9 x 5 “Seventeen”

9 x 7 “Marcy and Hunson”

9 x 8 “The First Investigation”

9 x 10 “Jake the Starchild”

9 x 11 “Temple of Mars”

9 x 12 “Gumbaldia”

Please reblog and follow my blog Modern Marcy for more Adventure Time content!

#Adventure Time #Marceline #Princess Bubblegum #Bubbline #Sugarless Gum #ATimers #Episode guide #Finn #Fiona #Jake #Flame Princess #Fern #Ice King #The Land of Ooo #LGBTQ cartoon representation #Modern Marcy #original content #updated #series finale

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