missy says “the doctor kills people too, i just enjoy it more. he’s the farmer, i’m the hunter, you know” and that makes me think she’s intimately aware of the sacrificial lamb paradigm. the lord is my shepherd. companions as beautiful little foals raised for the slaughter. with sorrow, of course, and remorse. the farmer loves every new creature in their flock with an emotional tenderness reserved for children and lovers. he’ll grieve when the butcher comes. he always does. but it’s inevitable. and you can always pretend your pet will live as long as you but fifty dog years are ten of your own. and when the time comes to put them down you’ll blame the vet. you’ll blame whoever has to bleed the calf. you’ll try not to blame yourself. after all, creatures in the wild alone lead such boring, listless lives. you’re showing them the wonders of the cosmos they’d never have seen with their normalcy-blinkered gaze. you’re doing them a favour. you’ll adopt another one. it will thank you as the light leaves its eyes.
but the hunter is evil, you say. the hunter kills willfully, the hunter stalks its prey, the hunter attacks with no mercy. instantly. painlessly, maybe. is that really so much worse?
after all, many moons ago, with a bloodied rock in his hands and the spectre of Death breathing down his neck, the hunter’s future had become the farmer’s first sacrifice. many moons ago, cain was the farmer and abel the hunter. and cain killed abel
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ATTENTION ROMANTICS, JANEITES, BYRONISTS, GEORGIANS, & OTHER 19TH CENTURY NERDS!
this website jane austen's music has resources all about the music jane austen composed by hand, like a link to this song captivity.
this website romantic-era songs has recordings of a bunch of music that was popular in the romantic era, including recordings of poetic works that were originally intended to be set to music. examples incl. lord byron's famous poems vision of belshazzar (a real banger!) & she walks in beauty (not what i expected having read it beforehand without it's music, but it was byron's own favorite to listen to). i really love this one the waters of elle by lady caroline lamb, also composed by isaac nathan. he was a famous jewish-english musician who later relocated to australia and introduced classical music there, & is thus sometimes called "the father of australian music" (apparently, according to his wiki, he was also the first person in the southern hemisphere to die in a tram incident after he got there... oddly specific factoid, but alright).
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Spreading my 2 headed lamb Regulus animagus agenda with Black Brother angst!!!
word: 820
someone give Sirius a hug or something like damn he rlly going through it
WWE WERE BORN TO DIEEEEEEEEEEE ( i love ldr music)
As he walks, the crunching of the branches underneath his feet calms the harsh beating of his heart. It hadn't been a good day. He felt like he was constantly being watched by his parents. The entire day was spent anxiously looking over his shoulders, expecting his mother to turn a corner with a wand in hand or his father to yank his shoulder with a bruising grip when his back was turned.
He really needed his walk, at least that was what James insisted on.
For a couple of minutes, he manages to clear his head, the grip of his parents loosened, leaving his mind to heal from the harsh and bruising touch. His feet soon stopped near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and he was able to see Hagrid's hut, he figured he might as well stop by to say hi.
Sirius takes a couple of steps before he promptly stops. With widened eyes, he takes a step back from the disfigured animal. A two-headed black lamb, a baby, but not exactly a newborn, nowhere near a sheep. Its two heads conjoined by the side of their faces, the eyes wide and watching Sirius' movement with unsettling attention. The animal was creepy and yet he could not look away.
It made a noise, from one of its heads, and its legs wobbled a bit. A small movement that makes Sirius' heart ache pitifully. Remus had a farm back in Wale. He told Sirius of animals, sometimes humans, born with more than one head and dying not much sooner because they simply were born to die, doomed from the very beginning. They wouldn't have been able to survive the harsh world with the disability, nor would their bodies be able to continue the demands of life. And looking at the lamb, he thinks of how this might be the last time he sees it.
With slow steps to not scare the animal, he approaches with an outstretched hand. A comforting gesture. He manages to close enough where he can sit down and pet its soft fleece. The animal reciprocates the action, settling down to the ground beside Sirius.
"Hey there little guy," He hums.
The lamb doesn't reply, only closing its eyes. So Sirius continues to talk, "How have ya been? Well I hope, you look tired."
"I am too you know?" He runs his fingers through the soft black fleece. The animal shifts its position, slowly maneuvering itself to Sirius' lap.
"Looks like both of us are worn out, huh?"
The lamb never replies, Sirius guesses it takes too much out of the animal. So he fills the silence with his chatter about his friends, his academics, pranks, and Remus, but soon it shifts to a bit of his parents, and some of Regulus, which leaves his eyes watery. Despite never getting a baa in reply, he feels heard and comforted by the lamb.
When he finishes, he finds his face damp. The lamb leans closer and Sirius begins to sob into the black fleece. He admits in his tears, that he misses his family. He misses the times when their mother didn't scold them for minor things and gave them a cold shoulder, when their father wasn't locked up in his office or shouting at their mother, and the times he played with Regulus while the little boy was still oblivious to the world and giggled at every little thing.
At that, the lamb finally replied in its soft baaa from one of its heads. A sound that draws a wet chuckle from Sirius.
"Thank you," he mumbles softly against the fleece, "Lulu would like you, he's always been fond of lambs."
Another baa in response that makes Sirius smile.
He isn't able to stay with the lamb for long though, because he hears the familiar calls of, "Padfoot! Padfoot!" And he knows that his friends must be looking for him. Sirius turns to the lamb who is now slowly moving off of Sirius. A clear sign that he is about to leave. He wants to tell it to stay but before his mouth can form the words, the lamb makes a sound and turns around to leave. He watches the lamb move further but isn't able to stay long enough to see it fully leave his sight before his friends jump him with a group hug. Dragging his eyes away from the leaving lamb.
For the rest of his time in Hogwarts, he doesn't see the two-headed lamb again. It's only when he takes another walk to clear his head during the war in 1979, does he see it again. Black fleece and two heads conjoined standing on wobbly legs, staring directly at him, but it didn't feel like a visit, it felt like a goodbye. A permanent one.
The next day, Regulus is declared dead and Sirius never sees the two-headed black lamb again.
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