Tumgik
#erm i like going to a little store and looking at stuff . i like to go and purchase a little beverage from a random coffee shop perhaps.
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
I love all of these goofy product photos where the water bottle is extremely obviously just photoshopped onto a stock image of someone pretending to hold something or whatever.. very convincing..
#the last one where the water bottle is like nearly the size of the woman's entire leg ghbjbjhh#ALSO I know.. gross.. nasty.. amazon.. I was only looking there because I was trying to find an exact replica of an old water bottle#I bought like 6 years ago in a store and I just wanted another one of those and it seemed like the only place the old manufacturer#still sold was through amazon but.. alas.. I think they just don't make them anymore. so I have abandoned my hunt#I didn't actually buy anything. but I did get distracted clicking through product images for a few of them#it's bizarre how like............... idk.. WHY is this done??? Isn't this offputting to basically ANY potential customer?? or do people#not look at every photo/read the entire page/all product information before buying??#all of these are from like front page ''top sellers'' or whatever like........... how does this not hurt the brand????#If the company can't even bother to take a single photo of a real life person using their real life product then... that to me#is kind of red flaggy..?? even if you're an indie start up small business with hardly any funds.. still#A real photo of the product you are selling in a real actual non-photo shopped environment does not seem that inacessible#Maybe it's because everyone does everything on phones now?? So it's harder to see the pictures when they're smaller?#Kind of the same thing with ai art and also hair color photoshops lol.. On my full comptuer screen it is SOOO easy to spot ai art#like IMMEDIATELy from the little tells and ways certain details morph into each other etc. I dont even mean obvious dalle mini stuff but#like the Fancy High Quality Photorealistic AI art is still pretty blatant 98% of the time if you know what to look for. But I still catch#people sharing it a lot like 'omg where can I buy this pair of shoes!! :O <3' .. erm you cannot.. that is the most balatantly fake looking#pair of shoes I have seen in my life hhjbj.. the heels are both different heights. there's a different number of straps on each one. etc.#AND that phase back before colored hair was Mainstream and people would post photos like 'omg going to bring this to the salon!! dream hair#and it's like.. you can LITERALLY see the parts where it's 'colored outside of the lines' and is so clearly just a person with blond hair#that someone drew over with a tint brush or something not even very neatly. etc. etc. ANYWAY.. Maybe with phones it's harder to tell these#things?? To me so much of it is instantly recognizable and it's suprising to me that people either don't notice or don't care and will#interact with it anyway by buying the product or acting like some ai art fake furniture is real or etc. etc. ..hewwoo#Aslo sidenote - I think I've become soo cynical and tired of constantly being advertised to that I literally cannot shop without getting#exhausted. I do not see how marketing is anything but obnoxious and transparent. Every item description having stuff like ''Our company is#commited to bringing you the highest quality water products! we set out with a mission to bring high quality products to people all over#the world and we believe in spreading health and happiness and'' just like SHUT THE HELL UP!! youre a fucking company#you don't ''beleive'' in anything you are here to sell a product. stop trying to talk like you're my bff who cares deeply about my health#or something just tell me the materials and product specifications of your stupid fucking water bottle and move on. Idont need to hear your#whole bullshit spiel about what ~your company stands for~ that is SO much MORE offputting. you make me want to buy the item LESS..#longing for the type of ads from my 1800s magazines that are just like 'this product is good. please buy it. okay thank you much. bye'
9 notes · View notes
batz · 2 years
Text
thank u for agoraphobia advice it seems the general consensus is sorta just. going outside . which isnt awesome but also totally understandable ig ! but. A
23 notes · View notes
mystellenia · 5 months
Text
ellie with a clumsy gf ୨ৎ
Tumblr media
summary: how ellie cares for her clumsy girlfriend
content: nothing thats nsfw!! just ellie being a cutie concerned gf
notes: answer to this req!! SHES SO PUPU BABYGIRL IN THAT PIC I WANNA BITE HER JFWIBFJWKRJR. she's actually so beautiful i can't. entirely unrelated: idk how i feel about this... but i’m trying not to be like EW I HATE THIS FUCK THIS ITS SO BAD. like i dont even feel like that but we already know how i feel about this formatting. its growing on me tho
(wc 0.39k) so short i know guys i gotta dip my feet
Tumblr media
constantly laughing but also concerned at how you manage to trip and bump and bruise yourself up on literal air
in apocalypse au, she's always been very aware of her surroundings bc of patrol and combat and stuff so she tries to keep you out of the way of things that she knows you'll bump into
always has an ice pack chilled and ready to go in the freezer in case you bump yourself real hard and it's sore because ice helps bumps not bruise right when you get them (looking at you guys clumsy ladies write that one down)
always warns you about things right as they're happening since you get into things SO FAST
like just as you're bumping into something or dropping an item she's blurting out, "wait! there's- a shirt on the floor"/"remember- that the washing machine door is open"/"baby, you're gonna drop that- just... like you did just now. you okay?"
always asks what you did to get a new bruise. she'll notice a new one and joke, "oh, what did you do this time?" and you'll respond, "i may have walked into the dishwasher while the door was down... but this one doesn't hurt that bad 😁" it's become like a little game
she's become sooo desensitized to any bump or bang sound in the house bc she knows its just you. not to say she doesn't care about you getting hurt--she immediately throws out a "you good?!" or "you need me?"--she just knows you know what to do: ice pack or heat compress. it's routine now.
read that low vitamin c levels make you bruise easily, so always has vitamin c rich snacks stocked up. oranges and strawberries and other fruits, always ready!
she's so stupid in love that she'll cut the fruits up into hearts or try nd make the most simple little animals with them from some mother of 3's tutorial on instagram reels and genuinely gets upset when she can't recreate them.
^ like you notice her absolutely maiming some apples and ask, "ummm why are you slicing and dicing that poor apple?" and she'll mumble, "it's supposed to be a stupid crab."
and for my ladies with darker skin where bruises aren't as visible or even just pale skin that just doesn't bruise easily, she's still just as concerned. and since there is no visible warning of a sore spot, she's hurriedly apologizing after pressing on a sore spot or laying on a tender patch.
Tumblr media
@abbysbug @picklesarenice69
hello to my clitter critters. soooooooo erm sorry about going like basically inactive for like 2 weeks i got into the fight of a lifetime with my mother 😊 we still beefing 😊 dw tho when she's old and wrinkly i’ll have power of attorney and trust the cord WILL be plugged.
like i’m joking but as of now that bitch is an opp fr
but anywhoooo i’m back. and my dinosaur of a laptop had a health scare and i thought i was gonna have to plan a funeral for her but she went to the doctor (apple store) and she's all better. idk how it still works so well now bc my mom got this when obama was still president 😆 don't y'all worry tho this motherboard does nothing but purr we chillin (the fan turns on whenever there are too many graphics moving)
734 notes · View notes
nyashykyunnie · 2 months
Text
˗ˏˋ Jinwoo x Nerd! Fem! Reader: Drabbles ◛⑅·˚ ༘ ♡ ˎˊ˗
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕘 𝕁𝕚𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
・┆✦ Entry : 037 ✦ ┆・
Tumblr media
╰┈➤ ❝ [ Moonstruck ] ¡! ❞
Jinwoo can be what you call a jock . Is he not? 6 feet tall, a finey built body fit for the demanding sport he chose, undeniably attractive to the ladies with his looks that of an idol— You get the point.
But to him, he wouldn't have it any other way. Not that he is narcissistic of course.
It's just... Well,...
This life is way better than what he had to go through when the gates were open. Sure, he hasn't completely sealed the gates away, but this peace is still uncomparable.
As he looks up at the grey skies, he finds himself tearing from the clouds and looking at your distant figure from the bleachers busily jotting down something in your little notebook.
He heard of you from his many friends, or should he remain with them with how snarky they are? They often described you in degrading means, openly mocking your appearance, and discussing well... Your interests.
From what he heard, you were quite the eccentric person back then. Almost everyone in this class came from the same elementary school after all. They said you used to be the loudest most obnoxious girl in class, which led you directly into being the figure of mockery for young kids.
It was obvious that history made you into the reclused person that you are today. He never really pays attention to anyone, but Jinwoo somewhat knew of your presence around him— After all, he sat behind you.
Other than that? He never knew anything else about you.
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪
Jinwoo sighs as he packs up his notebook after the subject has ended. He was feeling deathly bored despite the fact that he needs to think about the research project that the previous teacher had assigned.
"..." He feels two gentle taps on his shoulder.
"U-uhm..." Jinwoo looks back, looking back at your awkward demeanour. "...Erm... We're assigned together for this project?.."
"Ah right," Jinwoo hums, "Wanna talk about it now? It's a free period after all"
"Sure..." You fidget in your fingers, actively avoiding Jinwoo's eyes that he found intriguing but didn't point out.
"The teacher wants us to discuss something about geology something" Jinwoo says boredly. "Any ideas?"
"..."
He watches you shrink to yourself and he clears his throat.
I must have come off as cold, he thought.
"I'm fine with anything," He said. "I'm not too good with these stuff so..."
"Twilight..." Jinwoo hears your small voice.
"Pardon?"
"We can do... The twilight zone." You say.
"???" Jinwoo tilts his head. "What's that?"
"...!" He watches you perk up, a distinctive glimmer in your eyes as you start shaking your fists a little. "I-it's uhm... The twilight zone or the mesopalagic which is underneath the epipelagic and is beneath the ocean surface and erm... Well, it's 1000 meters deep and since it's so deep it's really really dark, the only light you can see are the occasional bioluminescense flickers which is like a small light made by the deepsea creatures. I-it's basically made by a chemical reaction between luciferin and luciferase which are respectively a light-emitting molecule and luciferase is an enzyme. S-since the mesopalagic zone is really dark compared to the epipalagic zone that can still has a bit of light and algae can still have photosynthesis. The mesopalagic zone instead uses chemosynthesis that happens around hydrothermal vents and uhm... Methane seeps. Bacterias on the uhm sea floor, the very very bottom or inside other animals use the energies in err... Energies that are stored in chemical bonds of some stuff. We can use that for our research."
"..." Jinwoo felt like he just died three seconds into your little rant trying to explain what the twilight zone. He can't even recall one or two words from all that talking you did which he in turn felt a little guilty for. "S-sure... Let's go with the mesopela....Thing."
And that was the start of your friendship with Jinwoo.
He didn't really think much of it, the two of you managed to get a perfect score in the research project because of your extensive knowledge of the deep sea.
Jinwoo thought that would be end of his interactions with you, and yet he slowly finds himself looking for your presence. At first, it was just simple goodmornings and hellos whenever you both pass by eachother by the hallways during lunch— To him starting some small talk with you.
It really started so simple, it really did. But slowly, Jinwoo found himself purposely triggering your nerdy side.
At first, it was just him making an excuse to prolong the conversations. But now? He was actively listening to whatever you tell him to. He still had trouble memorizing or processing the many names and chemical, biological stuff you yap on and on about but in the end— He finds himself wanting to know more about it.
He wanted to learn more about you.
The sea really seemed to make you the happiest seeing how you perk up as you start explaining the life cycle of a sperm whale, or how beautiful the cetaceans are in general.
Because of your non-stop obsession with the deep, Jinwoo finds himself listening to whale songs that somehow helped him relax more at night.
He'd always have multiple nightmares whenever he slept, sometimes he dreams of his father's death, most times it's him relieving the agony he had gone through leveling up and the phantom pain of dying multiple times— Despite his age they still haunt him.
And when Jinwoo finds himself in the torturous cycle of death and misery, he hears the distant hum of whales. In his nightmares, he would follow those songs and get pulled out of his hell.
And he swears, that in every nightmare you would be the one to reach your hand out and taking him into paradise. He would wake up with his outstretched palm towards the ceiling, a tear falling down his cheek.
He craved to touch your fingers at that very moment, he wanted to feel the gentle caress of your digits on his face, the warmth of your skin against his, the sound of your tender voice reverberating in his ears as you explained to him all about the things you love.
Jinwoo would never really realize that he himself is growing soft on you. He knows that his friends would never shut up about how gentle he is around you, but he never really believes their words.
What's so wrong about him wanting to bask in you anyway?
He just wants to bask in your presence, drown in the moment just as you are with your love for the ocean.
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪
"My king" Igris's small head appears, hovering over Jinwoo's shoulder. "The queen, she's"
"Out with it," He says immediately as he had just had just finished changing out of his track suit.
"...She's hyperventilating, a few unruly morons decided to mock her of her unfortunate past and she is unwell," Igris explains. "Your orders, my lo—"
"Shadow Exchange."
Instantly, Jinwoo had transported himself to where you were. He wasn't too worried about you catching him, since you were too distracted pacing back and forth nibbling at the edge of your fingertips.
He shakes his head, knocking on the desk to catch your attention.
To which it did but it startled you.
"A-ah, Jinwoo..." You sputter, not meeting his grey eyes again as you fumble on yourself. "I... Didn't see you there."
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" Jinwoo smiles gently, "Wanna go somewhere cool for a bit?"
"But... We're in school?" You tilts your head, watching him offer up a hand, waiting for you to accept his offer.
"It's okay, just trust me in this" He said.
You were hesitant at first, but eventually, you place your palm on Jinwoo's. He pulls you a bit close, his towering figure in front of you. But somehow, you felt completely safe as long as he is here.
The ground beneath you both would shift, from the pristine while tiles of your school to blue water reflecting your images. You throw your head up above your head, and up in the sky you could see fluffy and full white clouds moving ever so slowly.
"H-how?" You asked, baffled, your knees trembling as you feared that you will fall into water since you don't know how to swim.
"It's okay, it's okay" Jinwoo cooes, gently lifting your chin up. "Look at me. Look at me."
His grey eyes were so gentle, full of tenderness as it gazes upon you.
"Don't be scared," Jinwoo smiles, "It's all mine, so there's nothing to be scared of"
He then brings another hand out and flicks his finger, where the lovely sound of whale songs would catch your attention.
Your gaze would befall to your right, where a giant and majestic humpback blue whale would gracefully swim on the air.
More would appear around the both of you, from giant cetaceans to different species of jellyfish as well as sharks would fill the sky— All of them swimming about.
You find yourself so utterly mesmerized, your heart almost drumming out of your chest as you reach your hand up in the air, to which a few fish would come to your direction and nuzzle your fingers.
"It's kissing my fingertips, tickling me..." You say, your gleaming eyes looking at Jinwoo who was just watching you the whole time.
In his mind, Jinwoo would recall the conversations he has with his friends. They would never shut up about how he cant stop himself from hovering around you. How Jinwoo can't stop himself from ghosting his fingers around you. How his eyes cant hide away the adoration in them whenever you are in his sight. It was like he's this lovesick puppy.
And they're right.
He is utterly and completely devoted to you. He wants to give you everything that he has in his person, he wants to give you his paradise. If he can, he would rip his heart out and offer it to you.
He wanted to give you the world.
Everytime he listens to your ramblings, he finds himself lost in your presence. It was as if you yourself was his very own version of a lullaby.
And he wanted nothing more than to protect and love you.
"It's okay," Jinwoo says, intertwining his fingers with yours before bringing the back of your hand up to his lips— Where he would lightly kiss your knuckles. "Everything here, so long as I'm around you— You'll be safe and sound."
"Nothing and no one can ever hurt you, alright? So please, just keep talking like you always did, I like hearing about your love of the ocean. I want to see the prettier things of this world, so won't you tell me more?"
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ଳ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅ ⋆ ౨ৎ ˚ ⟡ ˖ ࣪
That was the day that Jinwoo became your boyfriend. Days spend with him are full of love and adoration... Minus the little anxiety you have in your heart as a lot of kids in your grade would disappear. The only similarity with them was that they all used to be your past bullies that you would tell Jinwoo and people who would mock you behind your back. But since you have Jinwoo, you'll be alright. The police will be in charge of that. That is,... If they are even smart enough to figure out who this little serial killer is.
Tumblr media
꒰ 🪼A/N: I swear I will make the Jinwoo vs Sylus soon as well as the sequel to the Assassin au. But as of now I'm still stuck in writer's block with those and I am still figuring out what to do with everything else. ꒱
Tumblr media
ʚ(੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭ .。✧・゚: ~♡ — All stories written by kyunnie; translations, reposts, plagiarism are strictly forbidden.
400 notes · View notes
nahoney22 · 2 months
Text
Happy Birthday 🌊
🫧 pairings: Hunter X Female!Reader
word count: 1.8k
prompts: none
Tumblr media
A/N: For a special someone for their birthday. Happy birthday @photogirl894 ♥️ 🎂
It’s your first birthday without your loved ones nearby, however Hunter has a little surprise in store for you.
warnings: Safe for work, Fluff, Light Angst, Reader Missing Family, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, The Batch Being the Sweetest, Present Giving, Surprise Birthday Celebrations, Female Reader, Not Proofread.
Tumblr media
“So, I heard it’s someone’s birthday today?”
The voice is like a warm caress, and you spin around in the pilot’s chair, a soft smile already forming. Hunter stands in the doorway, his arms crossed, and that ever-gracious smirk playing on his lips. Stars above, how could one man be so effortlessly handsome and charming at the same time? His presence alone sends your heart into a wild rhythm.
You try to hide your bashfulness, a difficult feat given Hunter's heightened senses. You often wonder if he can hear the way your heart skips a beat whenever he talks to you, or if he can sense the blood rushing to your cheeks. “Hmm, I’m not too sure,” you say, pinching your chin in mock contemplation. “Remind me again?”
He chuckles, a sound that feels like a soft embrace, and walks towards you, placing a caring hand on your shoulder. “Happy birthday, trooper.”
His touch sends a warmth coursing through you, and you grin, though he quickly notices the smile doesn’t quite reach your eyes. His brows furrow slightly, a sign of his genuine concern. “Something the matter?”
“It’s just… it’s my first birthday without seeing my friends and family, so it feels a bit, I don’t know, different? I guess.”
It had been almost a year since you last visited your home planet. Being a medic for the squad meant you were always on call, patching up the boys and tending to Omega’s scraped knees. You loved your job and the Batch, especially one member more than the others. But celebrating your birthday without your other loved ones felt tougher than you had anticipated.
Hunter moves to the chair beside you, using his foot to gently spin you around to face him. “I guess it would be quite strange,” he acknowledges, leaning forward. “But we will make the day work, huh? Wrecker, Tech, Crosshair, and Echo want to take you out for breakfast this morning. Maybe go for a walk on the beach too.”
The thought of the boys offering to take you out for breakfast is sweet, but you can’t help the slight disappointment. “And you and Omega don’t want to come too?”
He shifts, suddenly looking a bit nervous. “Oh, erm, I just have to do some data logs and boring stuff, and Omega said her stomach hurts this morning.”
In an instant, you panic and stand. “What? Is she okay? Why didn’t she tell me?” You start to walk away to find her, your medical and nurturing instincts kicking in. But you’re stopped by a gentle hand grabbing hold of yours.
A warmth spreads up your fingers as you look down at the hand intertwined with yours, then up to the gentle eyes they belong to. “She’s okay, just sleeping.”
Your breath catches in your throat, unsure how to respond. Why was he holding your hand? Why hadn’t he let go yet? “O-Oh, I see.”
He smiles, another one of those smiles that often turn your knees to jelly. “I’m sure you’re going to have a great birthday,” he says fondly.
Your heart swells, a mixture of emotions swirling within you. Hunter’s presence, his touch, his words—they all have a way of making you feel seen and cherished in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time. You had liked him for the longest of time and you had a somewhat naive hunch he felt something for you too. You had seen the way he acted with women before and it was never the way he was with you. You didn’t want to get your hopes up but you couldn’t miss the way he looked at you.
Hunter’s hand lingers in yours, neither of you seeming to want to let go. The warmth of his touch sends a gentle thrill through you, and you find yourself completely lost in his eyes. Memories flood back: the countless times he had stood by your side, his protective nature, the soft, caring words he had for you after tough missions, and the gentle way he always made sure you were okay.
He steps closer, his eyes never leaving yours. You feel your heart pounding in your chest, breath hitching as the space between you seems to shrink. His face is inches from yours, and you can almost feel his breath when—
The moment is shattered as Wrecker bursts into the room, his loud, jovial voice breaking the spell. “Hey! Happy birthday!” he bellows, his enthusiasm filling the cockpit.
You and Hunter quickly pull apart, standing back as though caught doing something you shouldn’t. Wrecker’s massive arms envelop you in a bear hug, lifting you off your feet momentarily.
“Wrecker!” you laugh, your cheeks flushed with a mixture of embarrassment and lingering warmth from the almost-moment with Hunter.
The rest of the Batch filters in, each offering their birthday wishes. Echo’s smile is warm and genuine, Crosshair gives a nod of acknowledgment, and Tech adjusts his goggles as he speaks. “We should get going before all the good food spots are full. I’ve done extensive research and compiled a list of optimal breakfast locations.”
You chuckle and nod, grateful for the distraction. As you prepare to leave, you give a shy wave to Hunter. He returns it with a nod and a smile that makes your heart flutter once again. Once you’re gone, Omega peeks into the cockpit, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Is she gone?”
Hunter nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “Let’s get to work.”
Tumblr media
Breakfast is a yummy affair, filled with so much laughter juice nearly snorted out your nose at one point. With Tech having done his research, he led you all to a place where you could indulge in a variety of good dishes—crispy hash browns, fluffy pancakes drizzled with syrup, and a savoury omelette loaded with anything topping you could think of. Wrecker, of course, devours his food with unabashed enthusiasm, while Tech critiques the menu with a meticulous eye.
After breakfast as promised, the group of you heads to the beach. The sun is warm on your skin but a little too hot later on which meant you had to buy a straw hat by one of the nearby stalls, and the gentle waves lap at the shore.
As you lay on the sand, you watched on as the boys engage in light-hearted banter which soon lead to Wrecker and Crosshair ending up in a playful scuffle, each trying to push the other into the ocean. Their laughter is infectious, and you can’t help but join in, feeling a lightness you hadn’t in a while. But, the longing for your family was still there.
As the day winds down, Echo announces we need to return to the ship.
As soon as you step inside you’re greeted by the sight of decorations, a table laden with gifts and, and the people you love most in the galaxy. Your friends and family. Along with the Batch and Omega, who beams at you with pride.
Emotion wells up within you, your eyes watering instantly and you rush to your loved ones, pulling them into a tight embrace. “I can’t believe you guys are here!”
Echo approaches Hunter, clapping a hand on his shoulder. “Good job.” They both watch you wipe the tears of happiness from your eyes.
Tumblr media
That evening, the festivities of your party slowly start to dwindle. The campfire that was made crackles gently, casting a warm glow on those around you.
After the games, laughter, and a satisfying barbecue, presents are exchanged. You always felt shy when receiving gifts and today was no different. Though you were very grateful.
Tech hands you a crafted gadget, its sleek design and functionality immediately appealing to your practical side. Crosshair, true to his stoic nature, offers a high-quality knife with a subtle smile, acknowledging its usefulness. You weren’t much of a fighter but maybe you could ask Hunter to teach you one day…
Echo gives you a beautifully bound journal with a smooth leather cover and crisp pages of flimsi. He knew you liked to make notes on your adventures and this just adds a more personal touch. Wrecker’s gift, a massive stuffed animal, brings out delighted laughter from you though the others weren’t too impressed with where it’ll fit on the ship.
As the night settles, Hunter catches your eye from across the fire and nods towards the lake. “Would you like to go for a walk?”
Curiosity piqued, you nod and follow him away from the glowing campfire and the soft chatter of your friends. The path to the lake is softly illuminated by the last hues of twilight. The sun has dipped below the horizon, leaving a trail of purples, pinks, and deep blues in the sky, reflected beautifully on the still waters of the lake.
The environment is serene, with the gentle rustling of leaves in the evening breeze and the distant sound of creatures stirring. The cool air carries the subtle scent of pine and freshwater, wrapping around you. Hunter walks beside you, his presence steady and calming which is what you always felt.
“Thank you for the surprise,” you say, your voice soft and sincere. “I promise not to ugly cry again.”
Hunter chuckles softly, the sound blending harmoniously with the natural ambiance. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Are you wondering where your gift from me is?”
“Not at all, you already did so much!” You say quickly, hoping you hadn’t come across ungrateful at all. But he reassures you as you both come to a stop, away from the view of the others.
“It was nothing, you do so much for us so it’s only fair I do something in return.. but I do actually have a gift for you.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a small box. Opening it, he reveals a stunning bracelet, an intricate mix of different shades of blue stones, woven together in a delicate design on a silver band. The twilight’s remaining light catches on the bracelet, making it shimmer softly.
You’re momentarily speechless, the beauty of the bracelet and the thoughtfulness of Hunter’s gesture leaving you stunned. Smiling gently, Hunter takes your hand, his touch warm, and slips the bracelet onto your wrist. “I don’t know how to thank you,” you whisper, emotion thick in your voice.
“You don’t need to thank me,” Hunter replies, his voice filled with warmth. He pauses, his eyes holding yours with a quiet intensity. “But maybe we could finish what was almost started this morning?” His tone hopeful
You didn’t expect him to bring it up again, in fact you momentarily forgot about it, but his words send a thrill through you. You nod, a shy smile playing on your lips. Hunter steps closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek. The touch is electric, sending a pleasant shiver down your spine.
The kiss is soft, slow, and tender, a sweet exploration of emotions that were long felt, but never spoken. The galaxy around you fades, leaving just the two of you in this perfect, timeless moment.
When you finally part, Hunter’s eyes are filled with warmth and affection. “Happy birthday, beautiful,” he whispers, his breath mingling with yours.
Your heart swells with happiness, and you realise that this birthday, surrounded by love is one you will cherish forever.
Tumblr media
Tags: @littlefeatherr @kaitou2417 @eyecandyeoz @jesseeka
@theroguesully @ladykatakuri @arctrooper69 @padawancat97 @staycalmandhugaclone
@ko-neko-san @echos-girlfriend @fiveshelmet t @dangraccoon @plushymiku-blog
@pb-jellybeans @nunanuggets @sleepycreativewriter @erellenora @zippingstars87
@ezras-left-thumb @the-rain-on-kamino @lamiliani @tech-aficionado @grizabellasolo @therealnekomari @tech-depression-inventory @brynhildrmimi
@greaser-wolf @kaminocasey @marvel-starwars-nerd @ladytano420
@ladyzirkonia @thesith @raevulsix @cw80831 @knightprincess @crosshairlovebot @whore4rex @imperialclaw801 @temple-elder @mysticalgalaxysalad @yunggoblin @imalovernotahater @sithstrings @the-bad-batch-baroness @lulalovez
173 notes · View notes
cillianhead · 10 months
Text
Red Eyes || Cillian Murphy x Reader
summary: You and Cillian take a plane trip and a certain Jackson Rippner steals his spot.
PART TWO to A New Pair Of Glasses
put my vibrator on and smoked a j and then wrote away on this one so i'm so very sorry if it is bad or strange or something.
Enjoy my lovely readers <3
warnings: SMUT!!, unprotected p in v, DUBCON AND NONCON THEMES!!!, Daddy kink, vulgar language, swearing, choking, car/airplane sex / public sex, tight spaces, handjobs, oral sex (f and m receiving + reader sucks on his balls?!), slapping, spitting, claustrophobia, roleplay (Cillian is roleplaying as Jackson Rippner), some mentions of subspace/being in subspace sort of, some more dacryphilia, degradation, overstimulation, talks of FAKE! Explosives and talks of FAKE! plane crashes, biting, fake cheating scenarios, vibrators, and general adult content!!!
LONG FIC!!
18+ MINORS DNI
Tumblr media
Standing in the crowded airport, you leaned against Cillian for support as you waited in line to check in your bags for your flight. You were going on a trip to New York, and the flight would be almost eight hours.
"How are you feeling, love?" Cillian whispered, subtly kissing your neck. "You nervous about our flight?" "I feel a little nervous... yeah..." You nodded, smiling softly up at him. "But we'll be fine... just... you know how I get..."
"It's alright, I'll be right there with you... the whole time," He hummed, resting his chin on your shoulder. The line was long and the waiting was tedious but at least you had the comfort of your boyfriend beside you.
After checking in and waiting for your flight, which wasn't for another hour and a half, Cillian and you decided to stroll along the airport stores, hand in hand.
"What's happening with that interview you have tomorrow?" You asked, leaning on him a bit.
"Oh... erm... I've forgotten his name..." Cillian sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It's literally something I had written down 'cause I t'aught it was funny..." Cillian groaned. "Oh... it was some bloke literally called Neil Lewis... some American guy..."
"No way," You laughed loudly, and Cillian looked at you, grinning fondly. "That's awesome, what's the interview even for?"
"I betcha a million bucks it's gonna be like sumn' about like..." He said these words while painting the air with his hands to make imaginary captions. "Neil Lewis.... and how he would react to different characters of mine..." He snickered and you laughed.
"That's a fun idea, though! Neil Lewis has always been a sweet spot of mine..." You sighed dreamily. You remembered when you and Cillian had first started talking and were only really doing all that sugar daddy stuff; you watched 'Watching The Detectives' for the first time. Of course, you hadn't seen all the Batman films at that point. You saw Inception when you were high and in some guy's Mom's garage and weren't comprehensive of what was happening except for when that one really sexy guy, Robert Fischer, showed up. That's when the movie had your attention. The guy was kissing your neck, and suddenly Robert showed up, and you didn't give a single shit about how hot the guy kissing you was; you'd look at the TV and moan louder than you did before. Neil Lewis had really awakened something else inside of you, though.
Something a little more tender.
He was just so cute, and as Violet said, 'You're like the sweetest guy I've ever met' (or something along those lines). You were sitting in a cute new little nightgown Cillian had bought you (oh, and a new vibrator with his initials carved in the middle). It was Valentine's Day, and unfortunately, he was in America shooting a film, and he wouldn't be back until the 17th. You were bratty and whiny, but you were grateful, and he knew that; you just liked to get sassy. You put on the romcom, an obvious choice as to why you picked it.
'Watching The Detectives' Starring Lucy Liu and Cillian Murphy.
You were already riled up when you saw him in the opening shot, but as time went on, you grew increasingly jealous of Violet and more in love with Neil Lewis, thus falling in love with Cillian Murphy. You remember calling Cillian up, despite the time difference, and rambling on about how cute he was in the movie.
Anyway... as you walk through the airport together and look at each other with your blazing love. Cillian lovingly kissed you on your forehead as you walked back to your gate.
"So about this flight..." Cillian cleared his throat after you walked along quietly.
"Yeah?" You hummed, tearing your eyes away from the cute dress you saw in one of those window stores and looked to Cillian with a grin.
"I won't be... erm... boarding on with you," Cillian cleared his throat. "I'm sitting in a different part of... de.... er... plane."
"What?!" You exclaimed, eyes widening and grabbing onto his arm tightly as you two swayed along. "What do you mean, Cill?"
"This flight is quite packed... and so I couldn't manage to fit us together so... yer gonna be in first class while I'm in coach..."
"What? Cillian? No... y-you take first class... you need it more than me..." You were pouting at him with the most pitiful eyes.
"No, baby... it's okay," Cillian hushed. "I'm sure you're gonna meet some guy in first class... who you can pretend is me..."
"I would never do that," You whispered, shaking your head insistently as you fiddled with the red ruby around your neck, thinking about Jonathan Crane. "Why would you say that?"
"It's okay, baby... you'll be able to sleep..." Cillian and you walked into a quiet little cafe. "They'll wake you right before we land... I doubt you'll be sittin' next to anyone since you're in first class..."
"Cillian... why didn't you tell me this sooner?" You whined, sitting down right beside him and clinging onto him while you still can.
"'Cause I know you'd never come if you realized we won't be sittin' together..."
"That's a fair point..." You mumbled, resting your head on his shoulder.
After sitting for a while and sipping the teas you had gotten from the airport coffee shop, it was time to board the plane. You wrapped your arms around Cillian and kissed him passionately.
"I'm gonna miss you so much... Cill..." You whispered against his lips breathily.
"I know, baby," He hummed, stroking your hair. "You're gonna do so good for me... you can handle it... I love you so much..."
"I love you..."
You couldn't dare look back as you walked off with just the weight of your onboard bag. You found your seat... and fuck, it was nice, you had plenty of legroom, and you could even push your headrest back so you could lie down. You watched people start to board the rest of the plane, waiting to see Cillian walk past, but he never did. You sighed and rested back in your seat, buckling up for the takeoff that always made you anxious.
"...F7... F8... Oh, here we go..." You heard an American accent from behind you and turned to look Cillian in the eyes. He had styled his hair differently and was wearing a completely different outfit from what he was wearing before. Cillian smirked as he coldly approached, and you realized what he was doing. He was being Jackson. Honestly, you had completely forgotten about that conversation you two had and didn't expect Cillian to follow through with it. "Oh, hello, seems we're sitting together?" He gave you a strange smile as he sat beside you and smirked. "The name's Jackson..." He reached out his hand for you to shake.
"Oh... it's... it's Y/N..." You smiled, playing along. It was unnerving the way he moved and spoke. It was truly like it was just another person who happened to look exactly like Cillian. Jackson shook your hand with a nod before receding back into his chair beside you.
The flight took off, and you clutched onto your seat for dear life, trying to ignore the feeling of having Jackson's eyes on you the whole time.
"You're a very pretty girl..." He hummed once you were in the air and could unbuckle yourself, looking at you with a tilted head and lustful eyes. "You got a boyfriend?" He asked as if he were interested.
"Y-Yes..." You nodded, feeling flustered, playing along with a hidden grin.
"Aw... that's a shame," He cooed mockingly. "If only he had been here... to protect you..."
"Wh-What?" You looked at him with furrowed eyebrows, laughing nervously. He just shook his head, scratching at his stubbly chin.
"Oh, don't worry," He reassured, mocking your trembling lip with a pout of his own. "I'm gonna take good care of you... sweetheart..."
"How... how...?" You stammered.
"You stupid slut," He spat, rolling his eyes at how pathetic you were. "You know how I'm gonna take care of ya..." Jackson's mouth got real close to your ear as he spoke the words, "I'm gonna fill that perfect little pussy with my seed..." He hissed.
"No... you can't... please..." You whimpered. About five or six people were sitting in the first-class cabin, yet luckily, none were sitting in front of you or behind you. "My boyfriend's in the... other cabin..."
"Oh, I know all about your little boyfriend... in fact... in the left pocket of his jacket... you see... I've been taking some sewing classes... and I was in your room one night while you were there, and he wasn't..." He laughed dryly, licking his teeth as he sucked in more air to speak. Your eyes were wide with horror and dismay... yet your legs squeezed together with arousal. "Anyway... as I was saying, in the pocket in his jacket is a tiny... yet very powerful explosive..."
"Wh-What...?" You panicked, speaking a bit too loudly. Jackson slapped a hand over your mouth to keep you quiet.
"If you don't do everything I say, I've got the remote here in my pocket and this whole fuckin' plane will go down over the Atlantic," He whispered, only loud enough for you to hear. "Do you hear me, bitch? I'm an impatient man. You're going to do every fuckin' thing I tell you to do or say bye-bye to your boyfriend and the death of everyone on this fuckin' plane..."
You nodded your head desperately, tears slipping down your cheeks. He pulled his hand off of your mouth and wiped your spit off his hand with your shirt. "I understand..."
"Good," He said gruffly, checking his watch. "They won't be bringing out any of the meals for another hour, so I say we have a little... fun while we wait for our meals... and then, of course... there'll be dessert after our dinner..." Jackson smirked.
"We'll get caught... we'll get in trouble," You protested, tucking your knees up into your chest.
"Oh babydoll, don't you know what I do for a living?" He snarked, flashing his sharp teeth at you in that cold, threatening smile. "I know how to do many things... and not get caught..." He whispered into your ear, biting at your neck. "Now open your legs for me. I'm gonna put this cute little vibrator in your pussy, do you understand?" "Al-Alright..." You slowly opened your legs. Your shorts were loose and thin, so you felt him slip his fingers up your thighs and in through the sides of your underwear.
"Fuck, you're soaking for me, princess..." He panted in your ear as he easily pressed two fingers into your cunt. "Doesn't that boyfriend of yours treat you well enough?" He teased. "I wasn't expecting you to be this turned on... I bet he doesn't make you cum enough, is that it?" His fingers began massaging your already sensitive G-spot.
"O-Oh... god..." Your head fell low as he continued panting in your ear, clearly getting affected by how good it felt to have his fingers inside of you. His cock strained against his tight sweatpants. "Jackson..."
"Wow, you gave in to that easily," He laughed, and you felt ashamed at how good you were feeling and how hard you were trying not to make much noise. It was good. The lights were quite dim since it was an overnight flight... everyone else was asleep or had their earbuds in. "You've gotta stay quiet, don't make me gag you," He demanded quietly as you saw the small pink vibrator that perfectly sucked on your throbbing clit. He slipped it into your underwear and turned it on... it was dead silent, but you could feel the intense vibrations. "Look at you, squirmin' for me, and that's only the first setting." His American accent was sickening and impossibly sexy.
"Jackson... I can't... it's too much," You dug your fingernails into the leather seats, clenching your teeth together. Your pussy quivered as he slipped his left hand into your underwear and covered you in a blanket provided to first-class flyers. Anyone walking by wouldn't even notice where his hand placement was. "I'm too... sensitive... it's too much, Daddy..." You whined, pressing your face into his shoulder and biting down on the material of his coat to quieten your stifled moans.
"Wow, look at that, I've got you calling me daddy..." He snorted, leaning back in his chair as he finger-fucked you and turned up the setting on your vibrator that sent crippling waves of pleasure through you. "Bet your real daddy wouldn't be too happy to hear that sweetheart..."
"You're not... you're not my daddy... it was a mistake..." You mewled quietly.
"I am right now, sweetheart," He took a whiff of your hair and bit back a groan. He was so turned on right now, and he wanted to drag you into the bathrooms and fuck you right now, but he wanted to prolong the pleasure for as long as possible. "I'm your daddy, say it... I'm gonna fuck you so much better than your daddy... gonna show you how a real man likes to fuck."
You caved in on yourself, squirming further into a ball as your entire body tensed. Your pussy clenched onto his fingers. Every time he flicked them out of you, a quiet yet distinct squelch of your arousal would be heard. Your orgasm lit you on fire, and he didn't slow down. In fact, his fingers moved even more precisely against your G-spot, causing you to croak and bury your face in your hands. You saw stars as you gushed around his fingers, and Jackson showed no signs of stopping as you came down from your high.
"Jackson... stop... stop it..." You cried, tears streaming down your face. "It hurts!"
"Oh, shut up, you spoiled brat," He grumbled, continuing to fuck you brutally with his talented fingers. "I saw what you did with that little doctor last week," He chuckled. "Your blinds are never closed... anyone passing by could see you whoring yourself out to other men..."
"Jackson, please... I just... I just need a break..." You whispered, flinching every time he massaged your spongy walls. He slowed down his fingers just a bit, it was enough to give you some relief.
"Does your daddy know about what you did with that doctor?" Jackson chuckled. "Imagine when he finds out about that... and finds out about... what you did with me on the plane..." He was getting off on your tears of guilt. "What a shame..." He whispered. "Especially since this means he'll have to cancel the reservation at that restaurant where... I'm pretty sure I saw him out shopping... the same day you fucked your doctor... could he have possibly bought a ring?" Jackson laughed mischievously. It would sound like someone told a funny joke to anyone else but to you... it was bloodcurdling at the realization of what he was implying.
"N-No..." You whispered, clutching at his wrist to slow him down.
"Would you have married him, or are you too much of a whore to settle down?" You could tell there was a deeper meaning in that question. Obviously, he was still playing along with the character. But you realized he wanted to know if you were ready for him to propose.
"Of... of course, I would have... I want to spend my whole life with him..." You whispered. "I... I... he doesn't have to know about what happened between my doctor and I..."
"I'll keep my mouth shut," He smiled with a rosy blush on his cheeks... burning through his cold demeanor. He grabbed a hold of you and kissed you sloppily, tongues and spit clashing together. He made out with you as he picked up the speed, and he was probably playing a dangerous game here by reaching up and groping at your tits. But the plane was dead silent, and he was getting desperate.
"Oh fuck... oh fuck..." You whimpered as he ran soft circles over your shirt, perfectly teasing your hard nipples. "I'm... cumming...." You whispered, arching your back into his hands, and you heard the familiar sound of him clicking the button to turn the vibrator up. You quietly thrashed around as he milked you for all you had.
"That's it... make even more of a mess all over my fingers..." He cooed, watching you throw your head back with your vision going black. "Such a fucking slut..." He grunted as he pulled his sticky fingers out from your underwear and popped them in his mouth. You watched, still mewling and squirming around with pleasure as you came. He closed his eyes and groaned with satisfaction as he licked his fingers clean. "Open your mouth,"
Hesitantly, you opened your mouth, and he grabbed your jaw roughly and spat onto your tongue. You moaned at the taste.
"Swallow it, bitch," He barked quietly, turning off the vibrator and slipping it back into his pocket. You had no idea how he managed to get that thing through checkage, but right now, you were too fucked out to care. "That's it..." He sighed happily as you gulped his spit down.
"Jackson..." You whispered, chest rising rapidly. "Need a break..." Jackson scoffed. "You're not gettin' one, princess," He chuckled darkly in your ear. "Right now, you're gettin' up and going into that bathroom there..." He points to the first-class bathroom. "And in five minutes, I will follow in after you... and you're going to take my cock... like a good girl..."
You opened your mouth to protest but he looked away with a firm nod of his head. "Go on, Y/N, or I'll fuck you right here."
You hurriedly stood up on shaky legs, smoothing out your shorts, and tried your best to act casual as you made your way to the tiny stall at the end of the aisle. Jackson's eyes burnt holes in the back of your head. You glanced back at him momentarily to see him smirking at you devilishly.
The bathroom was small and tight, but it was enough to fit you in it {almost} comfortably. The following five minutes were long and torturous as you looked at yourself in the mirror. Your once neatly combed hair was now messed up like you had just gotten out of bed. Anxiously and insensibly, you looked over yourself in the mirror, making sure you looked good and fuckable for your boyfriend. Two soft raps were heard in your stall.
"It's me," Jackson mumbled. "Let me in."
You quickly unlocked the door, and just as quickly as it opened, it was closed and locked. Jackson didn't say a word; he just grabbed you by the throat and pushed you up against the wall. Fuck, it was cramped in here with the two of you. He immediately latched himself onto your neck and you had to slap a hand over your mouth to stop you from crying as his hands worked to undoing your top and bra.
"Fucking hell, of course you've got perfect tits," Jackson groaned, lowering his mouth even more to pop your nipples into his mouth. Jackson's mean glare relaxed into shut eyes and furrowed brows of concentration. He moaned into your tits as he now slid down your shorts til you were just in your shorts and your blouse was wide open. "Whore..." He growled demeaningly as he was now face to face with your throbbing cunt. "Look how wet your panties are..." He whispered, tracing his fingers along your clothed slit. "This all for me?" He smirked as he pushed your panties to the side and kissed your clit.
"Oh... oh... god... J-Jackson..." You whined breathily, pushing your hands into his hair as he sucked on your clit like it was a cherry lollipop. His lips sucked harshly on your bud as his tongue slipped down and lapped your arousal up. His mouth was sinfully talented, and with the impending pleasure, you squeezed his head with your quivering thighs. "Fuck... you eat my pussy so good... fuck... oh..." You were giving it everything you had to not scream as he slipped two fingers into your juice-gushing cunt.
You were simply the sweetest of them all. Cillian grew high off of the way you tasted. It was like no other, truly incomparable to anything. None of the ripest and sweetest fruits could even begin to beat the taste of you. He'd happily die right here with your pussy in his mouth and the sound of your pretty sighs. Despite the deafening grip your thighs had on his skull, he was reveling in the way he was completely wrapped up in you. Like you were a spider luring in prey, and now you've caught it. But let's not forget who's in charge here... of course, it's Jackson. He's not eating pussy to get her off. He's eating pussy to get himself off. It doesn't matter if she screams or cries for him to stop. If that's what he wants, he'll drink her up like the essence of life for the rest of time. And oh, how good your fucked out pussy tasted. Jackson made you cum over and over again on his tongue until you were sobbing and trying to shove him away from you, but you were so fucking dizzy and still in the middle of cumming, so you had the strength of a twig.
"Pl-Please... Jackson..." You mewled, tugging on the roots of his hair to get him off of your pounding cunt. "It's too much... please... it's too much... fuck... stop... please!"
Tears were streaming down your face, and with your blurred vision, you looked down to see Jackson's newly opened ice-cold eyes staring straight up at you. You had seen that look from him a million times. You knew how much Cillian loved eating your pussy, and at this point, it wasn't even about being his character but enjoying the feeling of your heavenly sex in his mouth. The look in his eyes was identical to what a blood-drunk beast would look like as it devoured its unwilling and innocent victim. His pupils were blown wide, and his nostrils flared at the sight of your overstimulated tears. And this only made his cock that much harder.
"I'm serious, stop... please..." You whimpered, eyes falling in and out of focus. It truly felt like he was consuming you. "F-Fuck... you've had enough... please... Jacks... Jackson..." Your head falls back as you dissociate from reality. The confined space of being in this airplane bathroom with him wasn't helping with the overstimulation. Jackson had you cornered, as a predator would with its prey, and there truly was nowhere else for you to go from here.
"Alright..." He panted, lips smeared in cum and arousal as well as his own spit. "Time for me to fill you with my fucking babies."
"Just need a break... please... I need a break..." You wheezed, leaning against the wall for support. "Please... Jackson... I don't think I can handle it..."
"Oh, but that's not what your cute little pussy is saying... is it now?" He purred, spreading your folds open with two lazy fingers to peek at the sight of your dripping hole. "I'm fucking you whether you like it or not, princess... don't fucking deny me of what I'm so fucking entitled to..." He growled as he manhandled you into being in a more bent over position. You were completely helpless to him now. "If you even make a noise, I swear to god..." He huffed as he shoved your now discarded panties into your mouth to gag you. You let your head hang low with shame as you heard him undo his belt and zipper. "You're gonna enjoy this, I know you are," He whispered condescendingly into your ear, swiping a falling teardrop off of your cheek and licking it off of his thumb.
Your eyes squeezed shut as he poked at your entrance with the thick head of his cock, slowly teasing it in and out. Not enough to honestly give you anything, but just enough to rile you up. You pressed your ass back into his hips, and he willingly slipped in his cock. Despite how overstimulated you were just moments ago... your pussy changed its mind and decided it needed cock like your entire life depended on it.
"Look at that," He cooed as he slowly rutted his dick in and out of you. "I didn't think you'd fit so snugly around my cock. I thought you were gonna be a loose whore based on all the men you sleep with..." He said, and you mumbled through your cotton panties, but it barely made a sound. "Fuck... I see why he wants to marry you now..." Jackson hissed as he began truly pistoning his cock in and out of you. The wet noises were disgustingly loud, and anyone walking past could hear what was happening and immediately be suspicious. As well as the sound of his hips clapping with your ass as he fed you with his cock. Your mind was completely blank, like a loading screen almost the feeling of his dick was the only thing that mattered to you, your mind barely perceiving anything else.
The claustrophobia you felt before was non-existent, and it no longer was clear to you that you were literally in an airplane bathroom. You felt like you genuinely just were made to be fucked in the best way possible. Only by Cillian, of course... or well... uh... Jonathan... or Jackson...
"Excuse me?!" A knock from the outside pulled you out of your dumb whore state and made you look back at Jackson with a panicked expression. "How much longer are you gonna be in there? I really need to use this bathroom!"
"Too bad, wait for another one," Jackson grunted to the unwanted customer. "I'm gonna be a while."
"For fuck's sake..." The stranger grumbled before you heard the sound of them waddling away.
"You heard that?" Jackson growled in your ear, piercing your G-spot with every thrust of his hips. "I'm gonna take my sweet time with you, princess..." He moaned, hips trembling a bit at how good it felt to fuck you like this. The thrill of doing this was also an aphrodisiac to this situation, only fueling the fire. Of course, you'd done sneaky little things like this with Cillian before, but nothing this... outrageous... this risky. "How will your boyfriend feel about getting back to your hotel to find you full of another man's cum?" Jackson was groaning quietly. He was on the edge of bursting inside of her, but he wanted to hold on just a little longer. "He's not gonna be very happy, hmm?" He laughed at your tears, feeling the way you squeezed around him and told him you were starting another orgasm. And holding on to the edge was getting much harder for Jackson... with the way your cunt was absolutely trying to milk him for his cum.
"Mmmphhff!!" You moaned through your cotton gag, now soaked in your spit. Jackson laughed at the sounds you were making. He grabbed ahold of you by your hair while also keeping a steady grip on your lower back to keep you in place. He yanked on your hair like you were just a doll and looked at your big red eyes, sore from all the crying.
"Keep on cryin' like that, baby," He huffed, squinting his eyes on your orgasmic face. "Gonna spill my load into you cause of how fucking pretty you look when you cry..."
You cried in shame and embarrassment but also in pure pleasure that he was making you feel with his cock alone. You felt the hot spurts of cum begin to fill you up, and with that sensation alone, you felt yourself coming undone again. Jackson used you like a fleshlight, painting the inside of you white with his seed and getting off on how fucking pathetic you looked with tears smeared all over your face as well as your tits hanging out of your top. He looked away from your wet face to your coincidentally gushing pussy. He had never seen you so wet before, and his cock slid in and out of you like a waterslide. His cum was spilling out of you as his orgasm intensified at the beautiful sight of what his cock was doing to you.
"Shit," He hissed. His movements were sloppy, but it didn't matter to you because you had pretty much left this realm with how fucked-out you were. "Fuck, I need you to have my kids," He cried out, and you noticed that little bit of Irish slip out in his shaky voice. "Need to see ya pregnant... and fuck... fuckin' plump with my baby in ya... and... everyone will know who you fuckin' belong to..." Cillian whimpered, his hands now on both of your hips as he stilled himself completely. He shot the last squirts of cum deep into your womb.
He panted heavily as he remained inside of you. You both came down from your highs collectively. He slowly pulled out of you and that softness that lingered in the air immediately dissipated as he pushed you roughly down on your knees, face smushed against his wet cock.
"Lick me clean, slut," He commanded, hand placing your head firmly against his cock. "Want to see how good you are with your mouth."
You closed your eyes as you sucked off his cock. He was biting his lip to keep in the soft moans. His cock was still highly sensitive, but fuck... the feeling of you licking and sucking on him like he was a lollipop or some kind of sweet treat. He watched you with hooded eyes as you kissed down his clean shaft, now only coated in your saliva. Your lips wrapped around one of his balls, and swirled your tongue around them softly. He let out a loud gasp, growing properly hard again at the feeling of your mouth on his balls.
"Fuck... open your mouth... I'm gonna cum again... fucking hell..." Jackson grumbled, pushing you off of him and stroked his cock with his tip on your tongue. "I want you to swallow every last drop..."
"Yes... sir..." You nodded obediently, mouth watering, ready for the taste of his cum on your tongue.
With one last groan, he released his sperm into your waiting mouth. "Oh... fuck... princesss..." He sighed, cum spilling from your full mouth. As you tried to gulp it all down. His cock twitched a few more times before he stopped and pulled away, panting for air.
You licked your cum-covered lips and chin, smiling dopily like you were stoned. He tucked himself carefully back into his underwear and did his pants and belt back up, all while smirking at you.
"Jackson..." You whispered, melting to the floor after putting your underwear back on.
"Cillian, now, love," He whispered, crouching before you to help you back onto your feet. "You did so good for me... I'm so in love with ya..." He kissed along your face, holding you in his arms. "It's okay... baby girl, I'm right here," You buried your face in his neck and breathed heavily. You stood there while hugging until Cillian was fully dressed and stepped out. You waited it out in there for a little longer. You looked at yourself with red eyes and a dazed expression on your face. What had just happened to you, if anyone were to see you, was pretty clear. So as you slipped out of the bathroom, you didn't notice the two air hostesses watching you leave the bathroom that reeked of sex and cum now.
Cillian was sitting calmly, reading a book, and when he looked up at you, his eyes were full of love and also a look of concern.
"You alright, baby?" He hummed, stroking your hair affectionately. You nodded and pushed your face into his soft shirt, whining. "What is it? Did I hurt you too much?" He whispered with knitted eyebrows.
"N-No... daddy..." You whispered and he knew immediately what was wrong.
"Oh... baby," He hummed, quickly realizing you could push the armrest between you up, and he did just that, scooting closer to you and pulling your legs over his lap to cradle you more. "You sweet thing... you did so good for me," He praised lovingly, leaning down and kissing you softly. The position was a little suggestive to onlookers but not quite enough to necessarily get you in any trouble. "You're so fuckin' beautiful," He whispered with your spit drenching his lips, teeth, and chin. "Best girl... my best girl," He muttered before placing wet, sloppy kisses on the crowns of your forehead. "I love you..."
"I love you... Cill..." You smiled sleepily up at him, pussy mildly throbbing as you looked up at him. You just felt heavy with love and primal desire. It was hard to even focus on what you were saying or doing. Too preoccupied with taking in everything Cillian was doing. In a way, it was as if you were feeling everything he was feeling as if you had become one in mind and soul, both just existing, eternally connected and synced. It was symbiotic and so full of love. "You take such good care of me..."
Cillian laughed softly and kissed your face harder. "I could never care more about anything than you..." He hummed into your scalp. "You're my girl... you're... my world."
After those six words, nothing else really was comprehensive for you. You two cuddled up for the rest of the flight until you were made to buckle up for the touchdown. The long and treacherous journey of getting off an airplane into one of the busiest airports in the world was all a mind-numbing bore to you, and all your mind could really focus on was that Cillian was by your side with his hand resting on your lower back, guiding you through the maze-like hallways. In fact, you were in a trance at the way his arms looked carrying the heavy bags. You practically drooling with your lips parted, nearly wanting to take a bite from him. His arms drove you crazy, and the pure strength that he radiated from his body... that older, warm man.. sort of energy.
"C'mon, honey, this way, we're catchin' a car," He wrapped you up in one of his arms as he pushed along the trolley with your suitcases on it. "Don't wanna lose ya in New York City..." Cillian chuckled, and you just smiled up at him, silently looking around in amazement. "Still bein' quiet for me? Tha's okay, love, take your time..." He whispered sweetly.
You sat in the back of a black car, headed to a hotel on the city's other side. You sat in the middle, leaning on Cillian to rest as he looked down at you, the rising sun shining on his face angelically.
"Cillian..." You mumbled into his shoulder. "I'm cold."
"Yeah, baby, that's okay... you can hug me, c'mere... let me hold ya..."
This time, Cillian wrapped you up into his arms and ran his hands up and down your body. Checking into the lobby was long and tedious and dealing with Americans and other women ogling at Cillian made you want to puke your guts out. Like... stop looking at him like that. It was irritating the way they looked at you too, but at this point, you were too tired to care.
"Go on, baby... they've already sent our luggage to our room. I'll meet you there... Just gonna get us a snack..." He whispered in your ear as he was speaking to the receptionist. "It's okay..." He slid you one of the key cards to the room and patted you on the back. Hesitantly, you looked at him with a pout before walking to the elevator to find your room.
You were on one of the top floors of the tall building, and the hallways were long and white and blinding. It took you around another ten minutes to find your room. You sighed as you unlocked the door at the sound of a loud *BEEP* and waddled your way in; you let out a bloodcurdling scream at the sight of a man sitting on your bed with a sickening smile.
"Hello, darling," Jackson's cold voice chuckled in the dark. "I guess you weren't expecting me..." He laughed as he stood up from the bed. Your heart dropped, and part of you panicked... stupidly, you knew it was just Cillian continuing this little affair you were having. But part of you genuinely believed that it was Jackson, and you thought Cillian was downstairs, utterly unaware of this. He was so convincing.
"Wh-What...?" You murmured dumbly as he walked over to the door and locked it behind you.
"Oh darling, did you miss me?" His eyes in the dark were still eerily bright and unnerving, pupils blown wide as he looked at you like an owl in the night. "I bet your little pussy did," He said in faux sympathy, his hand cupping you through your shorts. You still hadn't fully recovered from what you two did just four hours ago, or however long it had been. "I can feel how hot you are for me..." Jackson spat. You were so entranced by what was happening that you didn't notice the complete outfit change. He was wearing a full suit. How would Cillian have time to beat you to your room and also get changed into a nice suit? But you didn't care. He was here, and that was all that mattered.
"Jack-Jackson... Cillian will be back... at any moment..." You whimpered as he pinned you against the wall and tugged your shorts down. "He'll... He'll hurt you... for touching me!" Jackson laughed wildly at your whimpering.
"Oh baby, I'd like to see him try," His laugh was sadistic and that of a villain's. "Think I'd... strap him to a chair and make him watch as I fuck you better than he ever could..." Jackson growled, pulling off his clothes. "Imagine how jealous he'd be... seein' me treat you like a whore, taking my cock so nicely... bet he'd never be able to look at you the same way again..."
"Jackson..." You said with tears in your eyes.
"Oh, you gonna cry more?" He snickered as he curled his fingers around your throat and pushed you down onto the bed. As quickly as you fell, he was on top of you, undoing his pants. "Fucking hell... thought about this tight pussy... gonna have to fill it with all of my cum..."
"Pl-Please... I'm still too sensitive..." You whispered and squeezed your eyes shut as he pulled your shorts down completely and ripped open your shirt. He was treating you like an inanimate object.
"Oh shut up, I know you fucking want me," He huffed. Your underwear was pushed to the side now, and the tip of his cock was pressing into your used hole. "Fuck..." Jackson groaned, shutting his eyes as your cunt squeezed around him like a vice.
"Please... I can't... I can't do anymore..." You cried, trying to push him off you, but it was no use. Your arms were like noodles at the moment. "Jackson..."
"Your pussy says otherwise," He laughed menacingly before slowly pulling back out with just his thick head in you. "You're so cute when you cry..." He snapped his hips back into you roughly, and you mewled as he brushed against your G-spot.
"Oh!" You cried. His hands groped at your tits as he began fucking you like some sort of inanimate sex doll. You couldn't deny the pleasure that was mixed in with the pain. It was all-consuming and truly debilitating. "Fuck..." Tears were slipping down your face as your body bounced with each thrust.
Jackson was fucking you like a feral animal, with absolutely no concern as to how you were feeling. Sweat was dripping down his neck, his pelvis slapping against your swollen clit, sending shockwaves of pleasure through your trembling body. God, it was shameful how good he fucked you. Cillian was really giving it his all to be this character.
"So fucking easy," He grunted. "You're such a fucking whore..." He growled. His American accent was spot on and eerily felt like someone else was talking and not Cillian.
"J-Jackson... you need to slow down... you're hurting me..." You whined as he pulled out of you and shoved you over onto your stomach before shoving his fat cock back in you. "O-Oh!" You choked out, reaching out your arms and gripping the bedsheets. "Slow... slow down... Jackson..." You whined, pressing your face into the sheets as you moaned pathetically.
"Shut the fuck up," He hissed, holding your plush hips in his hands as he rocked you back and forth on his cock. Jackson was loving the sight of your ass bouncing back and forth while he fucked you like a doll. The way he was fucking you was simply animalistic. Like he was the predator and you were the prey, he had found your weak spot, and he was now tearing you open, licking his teeth as he prepared you to eat. "Take my cock like a good girl would, bitch."
"Fuuuuuuck...." You cried out dizzily, mouth gaping wide as he tugged on your hair from behind. It was like a shot out of a porno, the sickening way his skin slapped against yours, or the way his hips were like literal pistons, drilling in and out of you. Meanwhile, the harsh grip on your hair was lulling you into a state of pure sex. You truly did not give a fuck what was happening, too distracted and in love with the fullness of his cock, fucking like all you were good for. "Jackson... Jackson.... please... fuck... please!" You weren't quite sure what you were trying to say. Your brain was no longer in coerce with your teeth and tongue and you were just spewing out broken sentences.
"What? You gonna cum?" He laughed sadistically. "That's right, cum on my dick, get it wet."
"Ernghhggghhg....." You drooled, moaning as he dropped your hair and quickly grabbed at your ass to fuck you further into your orgasm. Gee, you hoped the walls were thick with how loud you were being. With the slamming headboard and the way you were screaming for it, the surrounding hotel guests and people passing by in the hallways outside would surely hear every echo of it.
"So pretty when you're cockdrunk," Jackson grunted. "Bet your pretty boyfriend never fucks you like this... bet he's never got you seein' stars," His American accent made you squeeze. And in a way, he was right. You had never been so thoroughly spent as you were right now, and every nerve in your being was lit in some sort of rampageous flame and was endlessly burning in the pleasure. "Mmmm... I'm right... and you know it." He slapped your ass hard, having you seeing stars hanging around the room.
"J-Jaaaaccck...." You whined, pussy clenching down on his cock.
"Fuck..." He hissed disapprovingly. "Don't fuckin' do that, bitch... I'm not cumming in you yet."
"Please..." You whined. "Please, I need you... daddy... please..."
At this point, you were too dumb to realize it truly wasn't Cillian who was fucking you. You'd never call another man daddy if it weren't Cillian, no matter how in love or obsessed you were with that person, no man could ever be your daddy the way Cillian is. There was something fundamentally twisted inside of you that you didn't realize or immediately recognize the fact that this cock wasn't uncut and was a different shape. But anyway... on with the story...
"Aw... daddy?" He cooed mockingly. "You need your daddy?" Jackson cackled, gripping your hips in a painfully hard way, enough to leave hand-shaped bruises. "That's right, I'll cum in you... you can make me a daddy..." He smirked. "You're gonna take all that cum I give you and make us a fuckin' baby."
"Fuck... whatever you want..." You sighed, still delirious on pleasure. "Please... just want you to cum in me... please..."
Jackson chuffed cheekily and continued using you like some sort of cum-dump. "You're gonna do good in being full of my cum... I think you'll be able to handle it."
You nodded helplessly; your ass and your hips were throbbing with the way he was holding you. A never-ending give-and-take pushing you over the edge over and over again. It was a miracle when he finally came, groaning and moaning.
"Fuck, take it, milk my fucking cock," Jackson moaned loudly, throwing his head back and his hair splayed out on his face. His cum was thick and strong, hitting you like some sort of shotgun. You moaned with each spurt, gasping for air with how much arousal you were spilling from your used cunt.
"Oh... fuck..." You whispered, biting into your arm. "So good... so good... daddy..." He groaned as he pulled out of you and pushed you down onto the bed carelessly, not even bothering to watch how his load slowly leaked from your pussy or even to watch you finger it back in cherishingly.
"Wh-Where are you going, Cillian?" You asked softly, looking back up to meet him in the eyes. A chill went down your spine at the sight of his slightly longer hair and lighter-colored roots; he stared at you with the face of a thirty-year-old man, not a forty-year-old one. You were so confused and still so out of it.
Jackson just laughed and pulled his pants back on, grabbing his things before waving goodbye as he walked out of the room. What the fuck just happened? Cillian was doing a convincing job at how he was playing this Jackson character. You wondered how long he would be gone for. You needed comforting. You tucked yourself into bed with shaky legs and tears because Cillian wasn't there. You really needed him to hold you and to hear his voice.
Eventually, after about a dozen tears were shed, the door cracked open, and Cillian came with two small plates of cake for you to eat. "Oh baby, was I gone that long?" Cillian whispered, setting the plates down neatly on the bedside table. "I'm so sorry, my sweet girl," He whispered, sitting on the edge of the bed and kissing you on the forehead. He seemed... so... not sweaty... and different. You stayed quiet and just nodded sadly as he pulled away and quickly got changed.
He crawled into bed with you, pulling the covers up, and quickly wrapped you up in his arms. "Daddy..." You whispered.
"Mmm?" He hummed while brushing your hair with his fingers.
"You were really rough with me... just then..." "What?" He asked with a confused tone. "What do you mean? I'm so sorry... did I sit on your hand or something?" "N-No... I'm talking about when... you were just in here... doing Jackson..."
"What do you mean?" He sat you up now. You two were sitting in each other's arms and staring at each other. His eyebrows were knitted as if he didn't recall what just happened. "I did pretend to be Jackson... on the plane? Yes?" He nodded, trying to see where you were going with this.
"No... I'm not talkin' bout the plane, silly..." You shook your head, laughing softly. "Just now... in the room... when you... you know... from behind..." You bit your lip, looking down at the sheets that were covering your bare legs entangled with Cillian's.
"I haven't been in here for..." Cillian hummed while checking his watch for the time. "Twenty minutes or so?" He looked back up at you, blue eyes flashing even more confusion. "Did you fall asleep and have a wet dream about daddy?" Cillian teased, leaning in and nuzzling your cheek while giggling.
"N-No! It was real... what do you mean?" You asked, now slightly offended that Cillian was trying to trick you. But part of you was putting the pieces together in your head, even if they didn't make sense. "Cillian... I've still got your cum... dripping out of me..."
"That must've been from earlier," Cillian sighed as he laid you back down, still in a laughing fit. "You're so cute... baby... can't believe you dream about me..." Cillian laughed, not noticing your silence. He looked up at the ceiling with a big grin on his face while you just pressed your face to his chest in hopes of it calming you down. Your eyebrows were furrowed deeply, and your mouth held a heavy frown. "Do you dream about me often?"
"Yes... but this wasn't a dream... Cillian... why are you trying to make that up? I'm being serious..."
"Love, I haven't been in here this whole time..." Cillian said a bit more seriously. He ran his thumb along your cheek lovingly. "You must've just fallen asleep... and had a little sexy dream about 'ye old Jackson Rippner."
"Yeah..."
"I know how sleepy you can get," Cillian whispered before pecking you softly. He talked against your lips, and for a brief moment, as if a screen were flashing, you saw Neil Lewis talking to you hotly against your lips, his breath and yours connected. He had you pinned on the couch. It was straight out of that scene with Violet and Neil on his couch. But as quickly as it came, it left. "We did travel quite a lot."
"Yeah..." You whispered, still taken aback by your vision. "Erm... let's just go to sleep... Cillian... I'm really tired..."
"Okay... yer not upset by me are ya?" He asked softly as you laid down and got into your usual spooning position. You faced away from him with that look on your face.
"No, baby, I'm just tired..." You whispered with red eyes. "Please just hold me... I love you so much..."
"I love you too, darling..." Cillian hummed, kissing along your shoulders. "Goodnight, my love, sweet dreams."
"Goodnight..." You murmured back absentmindedly.
Eventually, Cillian was snoring softly behind you, and though you felt sleepy, you just lay there and stared at the glowing clock face. You truly felt like you were going crazy. Why would Cillian lie to you and say that that was just a dream? You glanced down at your hips, which now held faint purple bruise-like indents from where Cillian had held you so hard. That did happen, right? You didn't dream that. Your dreams are never that vivid... or realistic.
Or maybe you were that tired? You have been traveling a lot. It was literally impossible for a movie character to come to life and fuck you. Right? You're just tired and confused, that's all. It was a dream. You convinced yourself.
Just a dream.
Just a...
Harmless...
Little...
Dream...
You repeated in your head as you let yourself fall asleep.
Was it?
-
EHEHEHEH ENJOY <3 I CAN'T WAIT TO RELEASE THE THIRD PART YAYAYAAYAYY!!!
(there will be a part 3 and it'll be the last part)
1K notes · View notes
elsweetheart · 2 years
Note
havduaha hello hi i think i'm inlove with you- anw i reaaaaaaalllyyyy love your writing. got me giggling and kicking feet fr hdjashaj soooo i just want to request somethin or whatnot just... dealer!ellie... whatever you want to do just make my dreams come true so i can pass away in peace (just kidding... or not) just gonna leave it here, again i think i'm really inlove with you HAJDHWJSHA BYE MWA
hiiii omgomgomg thank u!! i’m so happy u like my writing + you’re so sweet of course i will write dealer!ellie she is so chefs kiss 💋
Tumblr media
beginners luck — dealer!ellie
tw// drug usage !! not smutty just flirty <3 more to come tho !!
Tumblr media
• you and ellie were always seeing eachother around campus, or at parties where she’d be doing business. so much so, that the two of you would often laugh to eachother and chat at social gathering about how often you bumped into eachother. things were definitely a little flirty from your perspective, but you didn’t wanna read into it too much. so she’s not a total stranger — you just wouldn’t consider her a friend, and you wouldn’t wanna be stuck in the friendzone anyway.
• she’s always wondered why you’ve never tried to buy from her and then simply put it down to you seeming too innocent to wanna smoke and honestly she thinks it’s cute.
• that is until you can’t sleep one night, mind super frazzled from staring at a computer all day that you decide fuck it, now is the perfect time to start.
• so you march over to ellie’s dorm, and everyone knows where ellie’s dorm is because everyone buys weed from ellie. you didn’t think to change out of the tank top that’s just a little too tight and your cute pj pants, and before it’s too late you’re knocking on her door.
• she opens up pretty fast, and she looks like she just got back — wearing a carhartt jacket over her hoodie, her sneakers still on. she lets you in and honestly she’s surprised and confused as you’re the last person she expected to come knocking at 1AM.
• “i want to… erm, i’d like to buy a…weed.” you try and sound confident but you shrink down when she chuckles, stepping aside and letting you into her room. “i got plenty of those.” she replies as she pulls out a metal box and you don’t quite catch that she’s slightly making fun of your naively worded request.
• she lets you fish through all the pungent baggies with labels you don’t understand on them before you’re looking up at her with doe eyes and a shrug. “i don’t really know what i’m looking for here.” you admit defeatedly.
• “you never smoked before? like not even at a party or anything?” she doesn’t sound judgemental, more curious and you feel more comfortable to be truthful.
• “no, never. just struggling to sleep and i think it might help me.” you respond earnestly and she thinks for a moment, seeming to analyse you before taking the metal box and closing it, storing it away.
• “i don’t usually sell to beginners. they don’t know what they’re doing and then they go away and smoke more than they can handle and then come freaking out at my door saying i laced them or some shit, which i obviously did not. but… i dunno, you’re always nice to me when i see you, and plus i know what it’s like to not be able to sleep. so, i’m gonna help you out.” she ranted, digging through another one of her drawers before she stood back up, holding a smaller tin.
• “thank you, ellie. you’re a lifesaver. what is that?” you ask shyly with your eyes on the tin. she pries it open and nods towards her bed. “sit down.” she offers in a softer voice and you do, watching as she gathers her equipment. “it’s my personal stash. the good stuff, you know. you don’t smoke pretty girls out with the cheap shit i sell.” she chuckled like it was obvious, continuing to set up her little rolling station at her desk, perching on her chair. you flushed all over at her calling you pretty and smiled.
• she talks you through how to roll and prepare the blunt, and you’re trying to listen — you really are. but you’re both finding it hard to concentrate when she’s that hot and explaining things to you, and you’re showing her how good of a listener you can be by responding with small dreamy “mhm”’s to her instructions. you swing your legs as you stare at her, her fingers continuing to do the last bit of rolling and twisting of the pink rolling paper she let you select.
• “now the boring parts out the way…” she smiled as she stood up, flopping down on the bed next to you and pulling her lighter out her pocket before setting them down on the bed between you and shuffling out of her jacket. you felt your body heat up and the close proximity and you kicked off your slippers, crossing your legs and facing her.
• she placed the joint carefully between your lips, eyes flicking from your mouth to your eyes as if for permission before lighting it. “now inhale and you’re gonna hold it for a few seconds, alright?” her voice was calm and quiet and it eased your nerves slightly as you did what she said.
• she let you take a few more hits commending you with a “see? you’re a natural.” before taking her turn, inhaling with more confidence as she relaxed back against the wall beside her bed.
• the two of you get talking as you smoked, and you clicked instantly, talking about her day and then talking about yours and laughing together. you almost forgot what you were doing, as after a while it became second nature.
• the fogginess started to hit you as she was talking and you began giggling, eyes now pink and watering as you observed how pretty she was as she spoke. she trailed off, taking a drag of the blunt and you moved closer to her on the bed.
• “your freckles look like little stars.” you tried to widen your eyes so you could see more and she chuckled, tilting her her slightly to catch your eye.
• “you good? it’s hitting you huh?” her voice was laced with amusement as you bit your lip and nodded with an innocent grin. “does it feel good?” she asked, in reference to the high but the question made your eyes flutter anyways. “mhm.”
• the good feeling lasted for what felt like forever, but when she made you laugh at a stupid joke a little too hard you found that your heartbeat sped up just a little bit too much. you tried to play it cool, taking a deep breath as you flattened your back against the wall, staring at her bedsheets.
• she moved her head slightly, trying to catch your eye. “you in there?” she cooed, placing a hand on your shoulder.
• “yeah. m’okay just... focusing on breathing.” you breathe out, a little whiny and trying not to panic. ellie barely reacts, reaching under her bed and pulling out a water bottle from a multipack, opening it for you and handing it to you lidless. “you’re alright, just smoked a little more than you can take for now. just relax, ‘kay?”
• she pulled her laptop up and put some kind of animated comedy on the screen to distract you, and somehow you ended up with your head resting in her lap as the two of you watched, ellie smoking another to herself. you relaxed yourself, and the high felt good again. you rolled over to look up at her, watching her smoke as her beautiful features were lit up by the glow of the screen. her eyes were pink and glossy now too and the room was smokey. you noticed the sock over the smoke alarm on the ceiling just past her head in your eyeline and giggled, attracting her attention.
• “what you looking at?” she smiled down at you and you shrugged it off, instead choosing to play with the drawstrings on her hoodie.
• “how much?” you asked sweetly. “before i forget.”
• “how much what?” she stroked your hair back.
• “how much do i owe you for this premium experience.” you giggled. “can see why so many people buy from you now. y’must be popular with the ladies.”
• she chuckled, but in a modest and almost nervous way as she leant back more against the wall— taking the moment to really look at you as you stared back. the weed induced haze gave you the confidence to hold her gaze without looking away.
• “i guess a beginner wouldn’t know that pretty girls smoke for free.” she smirked and you bit your lip in girlish excitement at her calling you pretty again. “especially pretty girls that are extra pretty when they’re all giggly and smoked out with big pretty pink eyes.” her voice was smooth and your heart fluttered again, but in a good way this time.
• “i suppose you should be paying me then.” you joked quietly and she laughed, nodding. you sat up slowly, eye contact not breaking once and your faces close.
• “so… do you let all your beginners lay in your lap and smoke with you?” your eyes danced between hers and her eyes were heavy lidded, lazily staring at your lips before blinking up at your eyes, stubbing out the last of the roach into the ashtray.
• “first time for everything. figured i’d try it out on the cute girl i see around campus that i was too much of a pussy to talk to.” her voice was quiet, almost lusty and you licked your lips.
• “me?” you breathed out sweetly and she smiled again.
• “clever girl.” she praised, pulling you in to meet her lips.
Tumblr media
i don’t rlly like this but hey ho i can’t be bothered to write it again :))))
2K notes · View notes
alisinyobooty · 6 months
Text
THE LOLLIPOP
Tumblr media
Pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo
Summary: You and the triplets had bought some stuff one of those items being a bag of lollipops. As you eat one of them Chris's mind can't help but wander....
Warnings?: smut, chris x fem!reader, pet names, teasing, touching. LOTSS of talking, most likely bad grammar, erm idkkk
Word Count: 752
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
Chris, Nick, Matt, and I had just come back home after shopping for some stuff down at the corner store. When we got inside I scurried to the bags looking for a bag of lollipops I had bought. “Anybody want one?”. Chris nods. I threw him a lollipop and ran downstairs to his room. Chris comes down a few minutes later. I'm just scrolling on TikTok sucking on the lollipop, but I can feel Chris's eyes on me.
“Chris am I doing something?”. I asked. He jumps slightly in his seat. “W-what why do you say that?”. Sweat dripped down his face. He seems to be nervous... “Nothing it's just I can feel you hardcore staring at me". I said with a chuckle. “Oh, sorry I just can’t help but watch u suck on that lollipop”. He said practically mumbling “What was that?”. “Nothing!”. Minutes pass by. Still being able to feel his stare. From the corner of my eye, I can see Chris constantly repositioning himself and every time he does his hand is seemingly covering his crotch area. Strange... “Fuck I can’t do this anymore” Chris admits. “Sorry?” His words caught me off guard.  “Ok uhm look” Chris groans in between breaths. “I just- “. He says before being cut off “Are you palming yourself?!” I yelled. “Shhh don’t let Matt and Nick hear you." silence filled the room "I am, I just can’t help it, you sucking on that lollipop it makes me feel things”.  I blankly stared at him before having a seductive like look on my face. “You need help with that erection?”. Slowly walking into a crawling motion toward him in his gaming chair. “Yes, please anything I just need you “. he says practically begging. “Do you really need me to help you though you seem fine”. Atp I'm sitting face to face with his bulge. “I really do need you” I'm slightly taken aback by how bad he wants it but gave in. Taking his pants and boxers off. His dick has a little cum and has some redness to it from all the palming he did beforehand. “you really couldn’t help yourself huh.. well your in for a treat”. Before anything, you tease him a bit. Kissing his red tip and everywhere else. Licking around. “Are you just gonna tease me or what?”. Chris says barley containing a sentence. deep down ive been waiting ages to suck this man off so I quit the teasing and go all in. Slamming my mouth into his dick causing a loud moan to erupt from his mouth. slobbering his dick as I went faster, I look up to see him with his head thrown back and eyes practically in the back of his head from the pleasure. I couldn't help but pleasure myself too. Putting my free hand into my pants as I start moving my fingers in a circle around my clit.  This causes you to moan a bit making it more pleasurable for Chris. “Fuck I’m close but just know when your done I’m moving on to you”. ”you can barely keep a sentence “hush ur mouth and enjoy”. I say breathing extremely heavily and barely being able to form a sentence myself. Without warning a white goop fills my mouth “your cum makes this whole thing 10x more worth it”. You say. Chris starts lifting his head up slightly enough for him to see me still touching myself. “Need a little help there baby??” He says. “What do you think?”. I teased as Chris lifted me by my hips placing me ever so gently on his bed. Not wasting another second, I am abruptly met with Chris’s middle and ring finger moving in me. Trying not to moan loud so Matt and Nick don't hear you two. “C'mon you can moan I don't care if the other two hear us”. I shake my head. This causes Chris to try and test me more by going faster and deeper. barely being able to take it anymore I let out the loudest moan “Fuck, Chris keep going ” A smirk is plastered on his face when u moan this. “Whatever you say". A familiar knotted feeling rises in my stomach. “Chris I’m gonna cum”. “Do it cum on my fingers for me” And so I did. Left breathing heavy I look up to see Chris licking his two fingers when u are finished.  “This is All bc of you sucking a damn lollipop” he jokes out of breath.
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
this was my first story so NTM and if you want to leave feedback feel free to do so! ( I had to cut like half of it because my freedom of speech is being limited 😭)
124 notes · View notes
beiasluv · 2 years
Text
okay, funny idea but…
sully boys in the undergarments section w/ u
masterlist
enjoyy🤍
Tumblr media
jake (2009)
kinda used to this, but actually not
would eye out the bras and underwear shockingly on the outside but inside he’s down bad like DOWN BAD
would follow you like a lost puppy but when he see something that catches his eyes, he’s gone.
“ooo, what’s this,” and then proceeded to walk away like AWAY.
probably have go on the announcement “jake sully, jake sully, please go to the information, thank you.”
he loves teasing you with those ‘extreme’ undergarments.
probably show you a red, laced, see-through bra and be like, “i think it’ll look good on you.”
sNATCHING that out of his hand IMMEDIATELY
if you tell me this man does not squish the bras, you are LY-ING
he loves squishing them and earning a weird look from an old lady (bless her soul 😭)
loves touching the mannequins’ butts and boobs. LIKE PLEASE- NO
cheeky asf but you love him. he will grin while looking over to you and mouthing, ‘you’re next.’
def give comments on each piece like “ooo, it’s giving disco, but you know i like them laces.” “don’t pick these, it scratches my skin, don’ like it.”
he be into them granny panties 😳 like the laces and stuff definitely turned him on- SIR- JAIL
erm…will borrow your bag to cover his boner😭💀
getting really comfortable, like TOO comfortable, and asking the employee for recommendations. feeling the textures and everything
BEGGING AND THROWING himself on the floor if he finds something super hot for you to try it. making faces like ‘WE NEED THIS’
if you come out of the fitting room, wearing the ones he picked for you, he will be like: “I’M COMING IN. I’M COMING IN!”
would compliment you as you try each outfit for him.
WILL SPOIL YOU AND PAY FOR EVERYTHING
“okay, honey, if you pick this piece, i’ll buy everything for you, JUST that this piece have to come home with us,” 😏
jake loves going to shopping underwear for life
in conclusion, jake spoil you, bbg
neteyam
awkward but teasing boiii
he’s very confident EVERYwhere else (in the bedroom 🤭) but as soon as he step in an undergarment shop, he’s flustered ASF
CAN NOT stop looking at them bras and underwear.
drooling over them, my ass
hold your hand and walking behind you are a must.
can not move his body like he usually can, would just stop functioning 💀 *neteyam.exe has stopped responding*
would whisper seductive and teasing comments to you. “these will look hot on you, but it’s better if they are on the ground.” PLEASE- SIR-
if you wanna go try them on, he’ll cry, for the love of his life, he CANNOT stay alone in the shop. “pleaseee, gorgeous, i wanna come too.”
WILL and definitely secretly look through the shelves for a piece for you 🥺
he knows that you can be sometimes picky with the designs and color, but he love you for that. it doesn’t bother him that you wanted to feel comfortable in something so uncomfortable for SUCH a long time.
imagine coming out of the fitting room like neteyam just standing there like: “i think you’ll like these”
AAAAA, sir, please, let me order one of you
AND LET ME TELL YOU they will fit perfectly and FEELS great (he really knows his job, guys- wait- how did he know your size- 😳)
anyways, will look after your things while you are changing
you are lying if you say he doesn’t try some bras on just to be funny for you. gurl, snatch them OFF cuz he’s getting a little too comfortable in them.
will 100% secretly squish bras. if you catch him doing that, he’ll just say like “it’s for testing how soft they are for you.”
maybe, don’t tell anyone this, but he loves to see the hooks of each bra. definitely doing something appropriate here, neteyam.
overall just love being there to support you and tease you, hehe
lo’ak
before the day you decided to go undergarments shopping, he had to prepare himself 😭
lo’ak will get so nervous about it and asking you do’s and don’t’s. like, sir, PLEASE CALM DOWM
walking in the store would count as his top 10 scariest moments in his life 💀
he’ll clutch on to your arm as if he will die, pressing his body against you and everything
will be so uncomfortable walking around the store 😭 hands clammed up together in front and everything. slow pacing around the store like a grandpa.
WILL not touch everything and only pointing at the ones he thinks will look super HAWT on you
once he calmed down, put your seatbelts on, the show’s about to begin.
WILL 100% get excited by different stuffs. touching everything like
“wtf, these are soft asf!” “ooo, these are scratchy” “they are sparkly!” (yes, but, sir, the sparkles in your eyes are falling out)
getting comfortable, going on an adventure mode, and opening drawers to be surprised by super seggsys stuffs
being a supportive boyfriend and picking things for you
“white or black?”
“white, white all the way.”
“but they are see through”
“exactly.”
would ask question about EVERYTHING and his face will turn red 😭 once he realized how extreme some bras could get, he is red like a tomatooo
WILL ask you to try on some HAWT stuff for him, but will cry if you leave him alone outside
def picking cute sets for you and waiting outside the fitting room, holding your stuffs
if you come out to show in your outfit, his jaw is DROPPED, SMASHED, AND CRUMBLED ON THE GROUND.
“darlinggg, you- I am lost for words- I’M COMING IN.”
in conclusion, a boy holding on to his dear life and fighting demons in the undergarment store.
today’s a great day to eat and take a break! 🤍 take care
@rosaryos / @bumblinbumblvee / @nyotamalfoy / @fangirl-2610 / @astablacksword / @lokisblueskin
1K notes · View notes
helloalycia · 8 months
Text
Tumblr media
𝐕𝐀𝐑𝐒𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐂𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 [𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄] — 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐈𝐄 𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐑
Tumblr media
summary: when Jackie surprises you with a kiss, you're excited at the possibility of what it could mean, only to discover she's got back together with her boyfriend the next day.
warning/s: implied internalised homophobia i suppose?
author's note: and here’s the third and final part - i hope you liked this one, loved writing for jackie 🥰 i have amother jackie one done and another in the works bc apparently i was super inspired recently lol, and i’ve also got some other stuff in progress. But the next thing I post is gonna be an alycia debnam carey imagine (gotta stick to my roots haha)
one / two / masterlist / wattpad
Tumblr media
I groaned inwardly as I looked all around the darkroom, my locker and my school bag for my lens cap, but I just couldn't seem to find it. That's when I wondered if it could be in the bleachers on the soccer pitch – maybe it fell out of my pocket when I was shooting recently.
Like the lazy girl I was, I went outside with tunnel vision, immediately searching the bleachers for my lens cap, but I still couldn't find it. As I paused, looking up for a moment to think, I realised someone was on the pitch, and upon closer inspection at the waving figure, I realised it was Jackie. Huh.
When I climbed down from the bleachers, she jogged over to me with a confused expression, but smiling nonetheless.
"What are you doing here?" she asked breathlessly, a little sweaty from practice, and it was annoying because she still managed to look good.
"I lost my lens cap for my camera," I said with a sigh. "The last place I remember having it is here."
Her fingers played with her bottom lip as she glanced around. "Oh. That's annoying. Erm..."
"It's fine," I said, not wanting her to worry herself over it when it was my problem. "I'm just having a look around, but I don't think it's here. Might pick up a new one from the camera store. Anyway, what are you doing out here? Where's the team?"
At this, she rested her hands on her hips. "No practice on today, but I wanted to have some me time. Thought I'd put in some extra practice. I've finished now anyway."
I quirked a brow. "Isn't Shauna usually your lift? How you getting home?"
"Shauna is helping her parents with something," she said, before flashing me her signature smirk. "I was planning to flirt with some sophomores and get a ride."
I laughed, shaking my head. "Of course you were."
She winked playfully and, though I didn't doubt she could find some desperate sophomore to give her a ride, I couldn't just let her do that. Besides, it seemed she was getting lifts off me a lot lately, so what was one more to add to the list?
"I'm done in the dark room if you need a ride," I offered.
"Oh, I wasn't hinting at anything," she said, giving me a genuine smile, but I shook my head.
"I know, but still. I don't mind."
Appreciative, she nodded. "Thanks. Do I have time to shower?"
"You have all the time in world, darling," I said as I looked around. "I am still yet to find my lens cap."
She stifled a chuckle. "Good luck with that. I'll go clean up. Meet you at your car?"
I hummed in agreement, already mentally retracing my steps with my camera, and she left me to it. After spending half an hour more searching all around for my lens cap, I finally gave up and went to sulk in my car. It wasn't actually a big deal, especially because I could just buy a new one after dropping Jackie off, but it was the inconvenience of it all.
Not long after I got in my car, Jackie joined me, tossing her backpack in the backseat before sliding into the passenger's seat. Looking refreshed, she shot me a smile.
"So, where to?" she asked, pulling her seatbelt on.
"Your house?" I replied, thinking it was obvious.
"But I thought you wanted to get your lens cap from the store," she said with confusion. "Oh, wait, did you find it?"
As I started the car, I said, "I didn't, but it's fine. I can drop you off home."
"I don't mind going," she said, leaning her elbow on the door. "It's on the way anyway."
"You sure?"
She hummed in agreement, so I drove us straight to the camera store, knowing I wouldn't be long. Luckily, it was still open for the day, and when we headed inside, she immediately began to wander around the small store, intrigued by the cameras on display.
I began to talk to the shopkeeper about my lens size and what camera I had, hoping he had a replacement cap I could buy, and then he left to have a look in the back.
"Y/N, there's a photo booth!" Jackie suddenly called as I was waiting for the shopkeeper to return.
"Yep," I acknowledged, having seen it a million times so not sure what the hype was.
"We have to use it, c'mon!" she pleaded, already grabbing my hand.
I rolled my eyes, having gotten used to Jackie so much that I knew to just go with the flow at this point. She was grinning as she looked at the button and money slot.
"It's fifty cents," she realised, before elbowing me in the gut as she rushed to find some coins in her pocket. Eventually she pulled out a quarter and looked at me. "You got another quarter?"
"I guess? I don't–"
"Look!" she encouraged, and I grumbled to myself as I dug around in my own pocket, managing to pull out a quarter. Before I could even offer it her, she grabbed it from my hand and put both of them in the machine.
After fiddling around, a manual timer ticked to signal the first photo was going to be taken, so Jackie moved closer to me to fit in the lens.
"Smile!" she said, and I had no choice but to listen.
The photo was taken and, just as quickly, the next timer was going off.
"Funny face!" she instructed immediately, before pulling one of her own.
I rushed to stick out my tongue, managing to do bunny ears behind her head without realising, and then the final timer was ticking.
"Okay, a kiss on the cheek for the grand finale," she said with amusement, and because we'd been so rushed up until now, I didn't really think to question who was kissing who.
As the last tick went off before the photo, I turned to kiss her cheek, but she must have done the same, because for a brief moment, our lips touched and then the photo was taken. Embarrassed, I quickly pulled away, as did she.
"Sorry," we both blurted at the same time, and suddenly this photo booth felt too small.
"Y/N?" the shopkeeper called, and I was grateful for the interruption as I stepped out the photo booth and saw he was back at the counter. "Got your lens cap. This should fit like a glove."
I swallowed thickly as I approached the counter, acutely aware of Jackie stood behind me, looking as awkward as I felt. After paying the shopkeeper, the two of us left and returned to the car.
"Er, did you want the photos or–" Jackie started to ask when we got in the car, holding the strip that the machine gave her.
"It's okay, you really wanted them," I said quickly, before distracting myself with starting the car.
To say the car ride home was awkward was an understatement, even with the radio filling the silence. I wasn't sure why, since we both knew the poor attempt of a kiss was an accident, but my fear was that I'd made her feel uncomfortable. It was the last thing I'd wanted, but I couldn't bring myself to speak, and neither could she.
I barely got chance to put my parking brake on when she got out the car and avoided my eyes.
"Thanks for the ride," she muttered, before walking up the long path to her mansion of a home.
I would have left it there, but it felt wrong to, and then I noticed she'd left her backpack in the backseat, so I called her from the open window and grabbed the bag. Jumping out the car, I jogged to meet her halfway, glad she'd stopped.
"You forgot your bag," I said, holding it out to her, and she accepted it, expressionless but staring holes into my face.
Knowing I couldn't leave it like this, I started, "Jackie, what's–"
But she cut me off instantly – and to my surprise – with a kiss. I stumbled back as she grabbed my face, kissing me with such intensity that it took me a second to realise that Jackie fucking Taylor was kissing me. And she was really good at it.
I closed my eyes, reciprocating the kiss, breathing in every part of her floral perfume, tasting every bit of her strawberry lipgloss. There was a second where we paused to take in a breath, but she closed it just as quickly, desperate and sudden and surprising.
Finally she pulled back, and then as if realising what she'd done, her hands let go of my face and she avoided eye contact like I'd make her go blind.
"Thanks," she said awkwardly, before spinning around and speed walking to her front door.
"Wait, Jackie–!"
But she fumbled for her keys and was already at her front door, not bothering to turn around. I swallowed hard, my lips still tingling from the sensation of hers, and went back to my car. Did that really just happen?
Tumblr media
All night I was thinking about it, replaying the afternoon in my mind. She'd made me question a lot about my feelings for her in the past, and at one point, I was certain I was just projecting onto her – maybe that flirting was just who she was? But no, it had to be real, because she'd just made out with me on her own accord, and I liked it. I'd liked her, sure, but she'd always been unattainable to me for obvious reasons.
Well, until now.
Tumblr media
The next day at school, I was hoping I could talk to Jackie about everything properly, maybe get some clarification on what she was thinking. So, you can imagine my surprise when I walked past her in the hall and saw her standing with Jeff, her supposed-to-be ex-boyfriend, leaning on his shoulder as he had an arm wrapped around her.
As soon as I saw them together, my heart dropped, the surprise easily replaced by humiliation. God, how could I have ever thought Jackie Taylor and I could be a thing? Was I stupid?
Turning to walk a different way, I fought back the urge to cry, feeling used and stupid and like an absolute fool for thinking yesterday was anything special.
"Hey, Y/N, wait," Jackie suddenly called, and then she stopped before me with apologetic eyes. "I didn't–"
"So you're back with Jeff, huh?" I got straight to the point, glaring at her.
She avoided my eyes and nodded weakly.
I scoffed, feeling much better hiding behind my anger than my sadness. "Why did you even do it, Jackie? Why d'you kiss me?"
She frowned. "I don't know."
The longer she avoided my stare, the more upset I became. How dare she do all of this, make me fall for her, force herself into my life, only to throw it back in my face.
"Just wanted to test it out?" I muttered bitterly. "Kissing a girl?"
She winced. "No, it wasn't like that."
"Then what?" I asked, searching her expression for a clue, but she refused to answer, either not having the words or not wanting to upset me anymore. Too late for that. "You should figure your shit out," I said harshly. "And don't speak to me again."
Finally, she looked up, but I was already leaving, ignoring when she called my name. I should've known she'd go back to him, she always did.
Fuck Jackie Taylor.
Tumblr media
It was impossible to avoid her and Jeff over the next few days, since they were in a lot of my classes and always on the way to my locker, but I tried my darn best to.
Unfortunately for me, I was out grocery shopping with my mum when I spotted a familiar blonde head of hair further down the aisle from us, standing with her best friend. I was hoping if we stayed put long enough, they'd just keep going and we wouldn't bump into them, but my mum, who was oblivious to our falling out, spotted Jackie instantly.
"Oh, Y/N, your friend is here," she pointed out, and before I could tell her to keep it down, she started to call out Jackie's name, earning her attention.
"Mum, no!" I whisper-shouted, but it was too late because Jackie and Shauna were already approaching us.
I considered walking away, finding somewhere else to busy myself, but my mum would have just found a reason to make it a big deal, so I stayed put and kept quiet.
"Hey, Y/M/N," Jackie greeted my mum in her usual chirpy voice, before I felt her looking at me. "Hey, Y/N."
I ignored her, suddenly interested by the handlebar of the trolley.
"Jackie, it's so great to see you again," my mum said, genuinely happy to chat with her, since the soccer player had made quite the impression on her. "And your friend, it's Shauna, right?"
"It is, it's great to meet you," Shauna greeted her kindly before shooting me a smile. "Hey, Y/N."
"Hey," I mumbled, giving her a quick smile before looking at the bananas on display.
"You know, it's a good thing I bumped into you," my mum said to them, particularly Jackie. "I wanted to thank you again for your help at the fundraiser! We raised over five thousand dollars!"
"That's amazing," Jackie said with disbelief. "I didn't know."
At this, my mum glanced at me questioningly. "Didn't you tell her, hon?"
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Must've forgotten."
"Oh, Y/N," my mum scolded lightheartedly as Jackie looked away uncomfortably.
She continued to talk the girls' ears off before finally realising she was holding everyone up and saying her goodbyes. Taking the trolley from me, she began to push it forward and I was about to follow, but Jackie suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Y/N–"
I pulled my arm from her grasp, not bothering to meet her gaze. "Don't you have a soccer game to practice for or something?"
She didn't reply, and I rejoined my mum's side, remaining quiet for the rest of the trip. Why couldn't Jackie just leave me alone?
Tumblr media
I was making notes in my English workbook as the teacher continued to explain the variations and development of children's language AKA the topic of our next assignment.
"...and I think that, just like children, students like Jackie Taylor can't seem to focus when they're supposed to be," Mr. Collins suddenly said, pulling me from my focus. "Miss Taylor, is there something particularly fascinating about the back of Miss Y/L/N's head?"
A few students giggled to themselves as I flushed with embarrassment, too afraid to turn around to see what he was talking about, though it was pretty self explanatory.
Jackie cleared her throat, embarrassed. "Of course not, sir. Sorry. Continue."
"Thank you," he said sarcastically, before continuing to read through his presentation, but my face was still flaming and I was unable to focus for the rest of class now, aware of the hazel eyes staring a hole in my back.
God, she was seriously not helping with this whole getting over her thing.
Tumblr media
About a week after the whole Jackie thing, I unfortunately couldn't seem to avoid her forever as I had to take photos at the Yellowjackets' away game. I told myself I'd just do my job and be gone to avoid any awkwardness, but of course, that couldn't happen.
The game happened to be at East Rutherford High which wasn't a big deal, but as I was setting up my camera on the side of the pitch before the game, Olivia found me.
"Y/N, hey!" she called, and I turned around before remembering she went here.
"Liv, hey," I said with a smile, before hugging her. "I totally forgot you go here. Big soccer fan?"
She chuckled. "Not really. But my friends are so I said I'd come watch. Don't know why we bother though, the Yellowjackets always kick our arses."
I tried not to laugh because it was true. "Way to support your team."
"As a school, we've kind of accepted our defeat," she joked, before nodding to my camera. "You're taking photos for the paper, right?"
I nodded, letting my camera hang from my neck. "That's right."
"Your photos are always so good," she complimented, and I was surprised she'd seen them, so she clarified, "Sometimes our school paper look at examples of nearby schools and whenever they show us yours, I always see your photographs."
I smiled with embarrassment, though touched that she'd noticed. "Thanks, Liv, that means a lot."
She shrugged. "Just stating the truth." She paused, glancing out at the pitch as the players started to file out. "Surprised your friend, Jackie, isn't here. Didn't think she'd like me talking to you."
At this, I grew embarrassed for a different reason. "Yeah, look, I'm sorry if she was standoffish with you last time. I didn't–"
"I'm teasing," she assured me, trying not to laugh. "But it's all good. I should go find my seat anyway."
I sighed, nodding, and she smiled sweetly at me before leaving. Rubbing my face, I tried to push any thoughts of the soccer captain out of my head, hating that she was still being mentioned even when she wasn't here.
Instead, I focused my efforts on photographing the game, actually quite enjoying that it was an evening match so the lowlight gave me something to practice with. During half time, Olivia stopped by again and I welcomed it, enjoying getting to know her a little more. She was actually really chill to hang out with, but Jackie's words were still in my head about her 'textbook flirting'. Either way, Olivia was fun.
It was a given that the Yellowjackets would win, and after the game ended and I snapped some celebratory pictures, I moved to the side of the pitch to pack up my things. Olivia approached me again and I smiled.
"Great game, huh?" she said with amusement.
"Always is when the Yellowjackets play," I said playfully, and she raised her brows with mock disbelief.
"Wow, you're already starting the soccer war? That's low, Y/N," she said, making me laugh.
"Gotta support the home team," I said with a shrug. "Especially when they're that good."
She rolled her eyes, suppressing her smile. "Yeah, yeah..." As I shouldered my camera bag, she asked, "You heading off now?"
"That's the plan," I said with a tired sigh. "Why? Aren't you?"
She locked eyes with me, smiling softly. "I was going to ask if you're free to hang right now. Could grab some food or something?"
"Oh," I said, realising she was asking me out. "I– erm–"
It sounded fun, and why couldn't I enjoy a dinner with a cute girl? Smile forming on my lips, I was about to agree, but then the devil's spawn herself decided to appear.
"There you are," Jackie said, looking to me, either oblivious to my annoyance or choosing to ignore it.
"Didn't take long," Olivia mumbled to herself, but I heard it. Clearing her throat, she said to me, "I'm gonna guess you're busy tonight?"
"Oh, there's an after game party," Jackie answered for me, making me clench my jaw. "Kind of a tradition."
Olivia forced a smile. "Right."
"I never go anyway," I said quickly, earning her attention, and receiving a glare from Jackie who I so desperately wished would leave. "I can–"
"The others are asking if you'll go tonight actually," Jackie interrupted, flashing a sickly sweet smile at me.
If looks could kill, she'd be toast right now. Who the hell did she think she was to step in right now? She'd shown me how she felt – she didn't have a right to do this.
"Never mind," Olivia said, already backing up. "Enjoy."
Losing my glare, I looked to Olivia, ready to apologise, but she'd already walked off to join her friends and I knew I'd only make it worse.
"Huh, I was right," Jackie mumbled to herself, which reminded me she was still standing there and very much the reason Olivia hated me now.
"What the hell d'you do that for?!" I shouted at her.
She raised her brows, feigning confusion. "Do what?"
I clenched my fists with frustration. "No! You don't just get to do that!"
She shook her head. "What?"
I scowled, looking between her eyes with annoyance. "Care. You led me on. Used me as– I don't even know what! Some sort of rebound? An experiment? Either way, it was horrible, and now you don't get to just come in and stop me from accepting dates. You're nothing to me, Jackie."
As I spoke, she began to frown, only serving to piss me off further. How could she act like the victim right now? I was the one who'd been played!
"I didn't use you," she said weakly, but I could only step back and fix her with a glare.
"Leave me alone," I warned her once more, not bothering to stay behind to see what she'd say.
Tumblr media
The weekend passed and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't thinking of Jackie the whole time. I wished I'd never found her crying after her breakup with Jeff because then I wouldn't have felt the need to check on her and she wouldn't have felt the need to be my friend. My life was a whole lot easier when she wasn't in it, and yet I still couldn't stop thinking of her. She was bad for me, so why did I still care about her?
I hadn't seen her since the game on Friday night, and despite the fact that she'd literally humiliated me, I still felt guilty for shouting at her. I wasn't someone who got angry easily, but truthfully, it wasn't anger. My heart hurt and who else to take it out on than the girl who broke it?
It was foolish of me to even feel that way, since we weren't anything. She'd never said she cared about me as more than a friend, she hadn't really done anything out of the ordinary except kiss me, which had clearly been a mistake. Her flirtatious behaviour was just typical Jackie. I knew what I was getting myself into. I guess this whole thing was my fault in a way.
Trying to take my mind off it, I stayed back after school to start putting my end of year portfolio together for photography class. I was grateful that nobody else was here, needing the quiet to simply get lost in my school work and nothing else.
I was considering some photographs on the desk when the sound of the door opening startled me. Nobody was supposed to be here, but when I turned around, my surprise faded into irritation at the sight of Jackie.
"Okay, seriously, do you need me to sing it you?" I asked with disbelief. "Write it down? Get a fucking sky writer?! Leave me alone, Jackie!"
"Wait," she said quickly, closing the door behind her and letting herself in, making me groan. "Please, I just– I have something to say."
I rolled my eyes, looking back to my photos with hopes she'd get the hint. "What? You finally figure your shit out?"
It was sarcastic, so I definitely didn't expect her to say, "Yeah. I broke up with Jeff."
My brows knitted together with confusion when I looked to her again. "You what?"
She licked her lips, grateful for the relief in tension. "After the game on Friday. I ended it."
I was certainly shocked to hear that she'd done that, but I wasn't about to give her the satisfaction. Crossing my arms, I tried to appear indifferent. "So what?"
She exhaled softly, steadily approaching me until she was stood right in front of me. Her hazel eyes, looking brown as they met mine, held my gaze with determination.
"You weren't an experiment," she said guiltily. "You weren't a rebound either. I never meant to hurt you, Y/N."
I frowned, eyes flickering between hers. Both my frustration and distress were building up because she seemed to be telling the truth, and it wasn't fair. She still did it. She broke my heart.
"Then what?" I asked, hands trembling. "How else can it seem when you–" I paused, glancing at the classroom door which was closed. Still, I lowered my voice for her sake. "When you kissed me – which, by the way, you initiated – then, before I can even discuss it with you, you get back together with your boyfriend? How?!"
She frowned, shaking her head as she looked down to her hands. "It was horrible, I know. You have to know how much I regret it."
"Gee, thanks," I said bitterly, and she was quick to look up again, worried.
"Wait, no, that's not what I meant," she explained. "I regret getting back together with Jeff, not kissing you. I– I liked that a lot." She was unusually nervous, swallowing visibly. "I like you."
My heart was confused as I studied her expression, seeing nothing but honesty.
"I should've said something," she admitted. "I didn't know that I'd fall for you, Y/N. I've never even liked a girl. Especially not one who's so sure of herself."
I scoffed, meeting her confused look with a knowing one. "Seriously? You're Jackie fucking Taylor, the most confident girl in school."
"Not always," she said with a wince. "Clearly."
I watched her, struggling to accept what she was saying.
"I understand if you hate me," she said, straightening up and meeting my gaze with a solemn one. "And I'll truly leave you alone, as you wish. Just say the word."
I pressed my lips together, seeing the serious expression on her face. I couldn't just say the word, because no matter how hard I'd tried to hate her, I just couldn't. All I'd really wanted was for her to like me, too.
She stood patiently, probably would have stood there for the rest of the day, waiting for me to speak. And I hated it because she'd hurt me deeply, but now I understood why. And even after everything, I still wanted her.
"Y/N?"
For once, I stopped overthinking and just kissed her, eyes closing when my lips met hers. She breathed out and lifted her hand to rest on my neck, pulling me closer and sending shivers down my spine at the contact. It was desperate, I was aware, but I couldn't get enough of her taste, her floral scent reminding me of last time, the adrenaline rush.
Without meaning to, her back hit her the desk behind her, but other than a brief readjustment, we continued to make out, my head spinning with thoughts of how good she felt so close to me. Stupid pretty girls and their stupid pretty faces.
We pulled apart for air, but I didn't let go of her just yet. My heart was thumping in my chest as I caught my breath, lips tingling as they craved for hers yet again.
"I really like you too," I said without thinking, eyes flickering to hers. "That's why it stung when you did what you did. Why I was so angry."
She nodded slowly in understanding. "I'm sorry."
I sighed, closing my eyes as I tried to collect my thoughts, but it was pretty damn difficult when she was still invading every sense of mine and I welcomed it.
"I don't know how I can trust you," I admitted, opening my eyes and being met with her determined expression.
"You can," she promised.
"What if you decide you don't want this anymore?" I asked, not wanting to doubt her feelings, but not prepared to start something that could end in heartbreak. "What if you think you've made a mistake? Start to miss Jeff? Then what, Jackie?"
"That won't happen," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek.
"But it could."
She frowned, eyes boring into mine as if trying to make me understand. Finally, she said, "I'll spend forever proving you wrong."
I got lost in her eyes, so full of conviction that I had no choice but to believe her. Maybe some things were worth the risk. She certainly was.
"I'd love to see that," I said after a moment, an attempt at a joke.
She paused, trying to digest my words, and then she cracked a small smile.
"I forgive you," I told her. "I know how hard it can be to admit your feelings to yourself, especially for the first time."
She was hopeful, and I was suddenly overcome with an excitement because Jackie Taylor was stood in my arms, telling me she liked me, and I wasn't dreaming.
"Can I kiss you?" she asked, making me smile.
A simple nod and then she captured my bottom lip between hers, making the butterflies in my stomach flutter a storm. Unlike before, this kiss was slower than the others, more considerate, and I knew then and there that I'd never get sick of her lips.
She pulled away after leaving me breathless, her eyes half lidded when they looked from my lips to my eyes. "How was that for proving you wrong?"
I let out a breathy chuckle, admittedly a little flustered. "It's a start."
A smug smile appeared on her lips and then she was kissing me again, laughing as she did.
Tumblr media
Lil bonus scene:
This was the least peppiest pep rally I'd ever been to, producing the worst photos I could take because everybody looked bored. As the principal made a speech about how 'good' the baseball team were doing this year, I snapped a few photos but ultimately sat bored in the front row. Everybody was much more excited for the star of the show – the Yellowjackets.
And after what felt like forever, the school band began to play their instruments and the soccer team began making their way in. Like a switch had been flipped, all the students in the bleachers stood up, cheering and applauding and celebrating their favourite sports team.
A much better subject, I began to photograph the crowd, all dressed in the bright yellow and blue school colours, waving signs and beaming with painted faces. And then my focus shifted to the team themselves, who were lining up before the crowd, grins on their faces. Despite the principal trying to calm everyone down so he could make his speech about how great they were doing, nobody would listen, still cheering on the team.
As I was snapping photos of them all, Jackie caught my eye and a playful smirk was on her lips when she winked at me. Even after the month we'd been together so far, she still left me nervous sometimes, thought I'd accepted that was what came with dating someone as self-assured as Jackie Taylor. We hadn't broadcasted our relationship by any means, but students at school weren't stupid and they were beginning to put it together. I didn't mind though, and I hoped she didn't either.
Finally, the principal managed to quieten everyone down long enough to make a speech worth listening to, expressing his pride in the Yellowjackets and wishing them luck as they prepared for the game tomorrow which would determine whether they'd make it to nationals.
After he finished, the band played them out, along with the audience's cheering, and then everybody began to leave. I was one of the last few to go, making my way out of the sports hall, only to be pulled to the side suddenly, realising Jackie had been waiting for me.
"Someone took their time," she said impatiently, crossing her arms, now wearing her varsity jacket over her soccer uniform.
"Someone was doing their job," I reminded her with a smile, wiggling my camera in the air.
At this, she quirked a brow. "You got my good side, right?"
I laughed. "Jackie Taylor doesn't have a bad side. She knows it too."
She began to smile, flicking her hair in agreement, and I rolled my eyes playfully.
"You look cute with your face paint on," I told her, referring to the little yellow jacket painted on her cheek.
"It's called school pride," she said, before giving me a disapproving look. "You didn't dress up."
"Again, I was busy photographing everything," I said, raising my camera for emphasis.
"Well, we can't have that," she said, tutting, and then she pulled off her varsity jacket and attempted to wrap it around me, but I stopped her.
"Wait," I said, realising what she was doing.
"What?"
I stared at her knowingly. "It's your jacket."
"Duh."
"Yeah," I agreed in a matter-of-fact tone, "but–"
"I'm giving it to you," she said simply, confused when I wouldn't put my arms in it as she held it open.
"You can't," I said, wondering if she was playing dumb or what.
She furrowed her brows. "What? Why?"
I amended my comment, "I mean, yeah, you can, but you know that people will put two and two together, right? You give me that and it'll be, like, an actual confirmation to everyone that we're dating."
Still, she wasn't following as she stared with raised brows. "Okay? And...?"
Now it was my turn to be confused. "You don't mind?"
Finally catching on to why I was questioning her, she relaxed and lowered the jacket momentarily. "That's sweet of you to ask, but no, I don't mind." She paused, before glancing at me worriedly. "Wait, do you?"
I sighed, before an amused smile formed on my lips. "No, I don't. I just didn't want you to feel like you had to."
Her expression softened, smile appearing on her lips and matching the sparkle in her eyes. "I want to. Now, come here."
This time, I let her help me into her jacket, immediately engulfed in her scent and warmth and not minding in the slightest. She stepped back, admiring her handiwork, eyes looking me up and down for several seconds too long and leaving me with a warm face.
"I should've given you this sooner," she said, impressed, and I rolled my eyes at her pride.
She chuckled before pulling me in for a quick kiss, and then we walked hand in hand down the hallway.
"You know that this means you have to be my number one fan now, right?" she asked, giving me a sideways glance.
I tried not to laugh as I said, "But I already supported the team–"
"No, not the team's fan," she cut me off nonchalantly, "mine. Me. Player number nine."
At her dead serious expression, I began to chuckle quietly. "Nine. My new favourite number, darling."
A smile crept on her lips. "Good."
171 notes · View notes
darkside-0f-the-sun · 7 months
Note
Erm so can you do like a little story thing, with bill like where the reader gets pregnant and bills super excited and stuff ? (If not it’s totally okay!!:D)
(I wasn’t sure which era you wanted but whatever)
Tumblr media
pregnancy
Tumblr media
My period was two days late and I was being very paranoid so I went to the drug store and picked up a pregnancy test
I took the test and I waited two minutes, it was the longest two minutes of my life. I paced up and down my bathroom nervously. What If I was pregnant, what would bill think, would he be mad, would he leave? All these thoughts were running through my head.
Suddenly the two minutes was up. I nervously flipped the test up and my eyes widened. 2 lines, shit.
I stared at the test with wide eyes for a good few minutes, frozen. Suddenly a voice snaps me out of my trance. “I’m home!” I heard bill call from the living room. I took a deep breath before placing the test in my pocket and walking out of the bathroom, I walked down the stairs and saw bill standing there, looking as beautiful as ever. “Hey…” I stand awkwardly. Bill picked up on my behaviour and he got a little concerned.
 “you ok? Did something happen?” He asked in a worried voice “uh… I have something to tell you… you might wanna sit” he then sits down on the couch “everything ok?… you’re scaring me a little…” 
“Uhm… it’s just that… I’m… uh- lemme just show you.” I put my hand in my pocket before hesitantly pulling out the pregnancy test and placed it in his hands.
Bill inspected the test before seeing the two lines “holy shit… I’m gonna be a dad?…” he asked, shocked “yep…” his face was a mix of confusion and happiness “im gonna be a dad… I’m gonna be a dad!” He jumped up and down a bit “we’re gonna be parents!” He went up to me and hugged me. “Oh my god, i need to tell tom!- wait can I tell Tom? Or do you want me to keep it a secret?“ 
“No, it’s ok. You can tell Tom and the band” i smile “ok! I’m going to go tell them all!” He ran off to find his phone. He’s going to be a great dad…
117 notes · View notes
baddiewiththebook · 9 months
Text
ONE OF THEM [PART 4]
-> Dating your best friend Eddie Munson might have been pictured differently in your head. Despite a blissful weekend, you’re met with a few bumps in the road; and, your friends slowly figure out that what you're doing in private crosses the boundaries between friend and lover.
-> eddie munson x you (she/her)
-> friends to lovers, secret relationship, angst
-> warnings - strong language and suggestive scenes [no smut]
[Part 4] [Part 5 - Coming Soon]
This is a sequel to One of the Boys
-> <-
“Do you think he has plans for that asparagus, or does he just need a friend?” Eddie’s head is tilted just to the right, while he studies the man across the aisles.
You plop five plump potato’s into a plastic sack provided by the grocery store, and hum a soft tune to yourself. Ignoring Eddie, you take the sack and drop it down onto the metal scale to imagine the price point.
When you move, however, Eddie is frozen in time. His eyes move past the displays of fresh lemons and limes, and over the apples and pears. A man is scratching his finger over the Saran Wrap tucking a set of asparagus in a tight film. Peering through Coke bottle glasses, he pouts his bottom lip and then puts the produce back.
“You’ve been watching him for a while?” You try to sound less irritated than you are. Shopping with Eddie got easier once you asked him to push the cart. In a way, this tethered him to you because he kept his hands busy and off of the shelves where he insisted on touching everything.
Eddie doesn’t mean any harm, after all he is just looking. Suppose he looks for a bit too long and he’s a bit distracted, then you’ll correct him with a sour sort of ‘come on, Eddie,’ like his uncle Wayne does sometimes. But, his uncle never buys fresh potatoes. Eddie has got no idea what you’ll do with those. When you told him you wanted to make dinner for him tonight, he thought the box of mashed potatoes was fine enough and the steaks in the back of the freezer had only been there a few months - or a year. Who can tell the difference?
You surely can.
When you suggested that he come with you to go to the grocery store, he saw the glee on your face. He can’t say no to you.
There’s something soft about the way you’re touching everything on purpose. You studied those potatoes like the man did with his asparagus, but when you got a little pouty, Eddie’s heart fluttered in his chest.
You’ve got one hand on the cart, so to him you feel connected even if you’re not holding onto each other. Guiding him in the right direction down the isle, he'll never get lost as long as you're there with him.
Eddie is damn near snoozing by the end of the laundry list of grocery items. There is only six, but that's six too many. You offer to buy him something sweet in exchange for his patience with you.
“Did you want to go to the little bakery? They’ve probably got chocolate cake or cookies,” you wiggle at the end of the cart.
Eddie straightens his back at this.
“Sure, but no chocolate,” he shakes his head. “I don’t like that stuff.”
“You don’t like chocolate,” you’re more taken aback than he imagined you might be. “But, what about the chocolate cake I made you for your birthday two years ago, and the cupcakes I made for your birthday this year! You said they were the best. I even kept the recipe!”
“Sweetheart,” he catches up to you, so he can wrap an arm around your shoulders. “How could I possibly tell you that I didn’t like chocolate when you’d spend all day baking for me? Hm? I really did appreciate the gesture. You know- among the thick layers of goo- oof!”
You’ve elbowed him in the side. Rightfully so! Smiling into the case of donuts, you make a beeline for the grinning worker behind the counter.
“Can I get a loaf of- erm, that one,” you’re not sure how to pronounce the name.
Eddie’s gone when you spin around with your bread loaf. Eyeing the treats, he aims for a small cherry pie. He pulls his hand back and shakes his head. Your boyfriend flicks his hair behind his ears because as much as he likes his hair, he does get hot sometimes. Boyfriend.
Eddie Munson is your boyfriend.
Have you said that out loud yet?
“The bread,” you announce like he’s memorized dinner plans.
Eddie shocks you, “steak next, right?”
Aisles of produce pass you by like time ticking on a clock. You’ve gotten everything on your list by now that Eddie clutches in your hand. Time wastes on because you don’t want to go home quite yet. You’re in control of the cart, and Eddie’s bounding between aisles to show you something ‘cool’ he’s found.
The cart slowly is taken over by snacks you haven’t planned to spend money on, but you do anyway because Eddie’s joy means more to you than a dollar.
Eddie pops a rope candy in his mouth, while you organize the cashier belt in line.
“Don’t forget the bags,” Eddie pulls some plastic bags from the bottom of the cart that you keep in your house. You reuse them as long as possible, and Eddie finds this endearing.
“Thanks,” you put them in the front of the groceries already stacked on the belt.
Eddie tosses a wrapped piece of chocolate onto the belt you hadn’t seen him grab from the shelves.
“I thought of you,” he taps the wrapper, before the belt sweeps the sweet away. “It’s got caramel. Your favorite, right?”
"It is," you sigh completely defeated that he knows more about you than you about him.
"My favorite is cherry," he swings the licorice in the air.
“Sir,” the cashier’s lips thin. “You’re paying for that, right?”
Eddie’s chewed through the whole package of candy by now, and humorously he’d like to imply that he’s not. But with you in mind, he hands the woman the wrapper without fuss. You wrap onto his arm like a child, and he places another kiss to the top of your head.
You’re paying for the grocery run today, but Eddie promises that the next time you’re shopping together that he will pay. The conversation floats past your ears because you’re just thrilled there will come a next time.
The van is waiting for you in the parking lot, where Eddie tosses you the keys to unlock the doors. He’s busy rummaging through the back trying not to rattle his band equipment, but he does use the inside of the drums to steady the dozen eggs.
“Are you buckled?” Eddie climbs into the drivers side.
You’re set in the passenger seat with the chocolate that Eddie bought for you. Using his thumb, he swipes at your chin where you’ve smeared melted chocolate on by accident.
“I’m buckled,” you tighten the seatbelt. “Do you want a bite?”
“No, but could you hand me the hamburger back there?”
You scrunch your nose. “How long has that been there?”
“Eh.. like a couple days?”
“Eddie!”
Laughter fills the corners of the van like a harmonious song. Well tuned - perfectly pitched.
-> <-
Eddie is an awful cook.
Finding your attention drawn onto the sharp knife in your hand, slicing potatoes into chunks, you’re not watching Eddie scrambling behind you. He’s got two spoons in his hands, but he scratches his head at what for. It isn’t until you’re gasping at the blackened smoke coming from the stove.
Flipping the carrots around in the pan, Eddie’s apologizing over and over. You reassure that the carrots still could be edible, but judging by the blackened bottoms, you both know well-enough to toss them.
You’re putting the potatoes into the hot water, only burning the tips of your fingers.
Eddie’s in control - er, sort of - cutting up new carrots. Following along what you did earlier, you bite your tongue at the massive pinches of black pepper and salt he’s added. Tablespoon or teaspoon? He’s got no clue!
“I’ll keep an eye out this time,” he holds a staring contest with the searing hot pan that’s still a bit too hot for the carrots.
You turn the burner down, and flick the carrots around until the smoke clears. Eddie groans, and takes over because he doesn’t like being micromanaged. It’s all in good fun, though. He does find being in the kitchen with you quite homey.
Homey.
Eddie’s never had that feeling before. Last time he’s felt at home, no offense to Wayne, was when his mom found him hidden in the cupboards of their little house. Sure, life wasn’t perfect for the Munsons, but his mom always kept the court dates and the legal shit out of his eye the best she could.
When she died, a part of Eddie had too. He misses the warm hugs and kisses, the way she lets him lick the spoon when she makes cookies from the tube.
But, alas, if his life was perfect then he wouldn’t be here with you. Eddie finds himself feeling pretty perfect anyway because you’re there. You’re humming a tune to yourself, as you twist the timer to twenty minutes. Old and barely alive, the timer clicks on like a mighty oak.
“Twenty minutes until the potatoes are done,” you swirl around to Eddie. He knows the sigh coming from your mouth is less about the exhaustion from cooking, as it is dealing with him in the kitchen. “What should we do while we wait?”
Eddie places his hands on your cheeks, and brings you into his chest. Chest to chest. Heart to heart. Beating rhythms of your hearts pump between you two. You’ve got your ear to his breast imagining what’s dancing around in there.
Unintentionally, Eddie flicks the backing of your bra. A flame ignites inside you. Did he notice? Did he mean too?
Are you even prepared if the night falls that way?
You’re a bundle of nerves knowing that when that moment drops, and the both of you find yourself even closer than you are now that nothing could be the same. Going back isn’t an option. Swirling stars cloud your vision, as your breathing slows.
Eddie hums when your grip on his back loosens. He sways with you, while you’re drifting farther into your head.
Skies of warm orange and cotton candy coated pinks cloud your eye. Touching a garden of soft spring flowers. Ridges of the stone bridge. A kiss is pressed onto your forehead like a dew drop, raising you from your state of hypnosis.
“You still with me?” Eddie’s voice vibrates through your ears.
“Hm,” you hum. “Should we sit down?”
Eddie guides you to the couch where you’ll stay drifting into your own world with a blanket draped over your lap. You attempt to join him in the kitchen when the timer goes off, but Eddie raises his index finger and says,
“Don’t you dare.”
Then, your boyfriend wrestles with the oven to get the roast from it’s hot cage and plops too much butter into the mash. He winces when he puts the spoon to his lip, and tries to fend off your worry by telling you that the food is just hot.
Eddie sits next to you with two plates of food - one in each hand. He waits a moment for you to sit back up after sinking into the aged sofa, then lands the warm plate in your lap.
You’ve got no idea what you’re watching on the television, but right beside you is all the entertainment you need. Laughing heartily at Eddie’s cross expression, he sticks out his tongue at the well-done carrots.
“Don’t eat them,” he reaches for a glass of water. “They’re really awful.”
You nibble at the end of a carrot, and suck down your outward terror at how salty the vegetable is.
“It’s not that bad.”
They are indeed that bad.
Worse - even.
“You’re cute, but a terrible liar,” he pinches your shoulder.
-> <-
tags: @stardustingold @loves0phelia @ogoc-19 @hellfirenacht @blackholegladiator @alligator-person @eggo-segual @rustboxstarr @harmfulb1tch
92 notes · View notes
sumeru-academy · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
M.U.S.E Event Case 009. Kokomi x Female Reader
◇ Report submitted by: Moderator Angel on ▇▇▇▇.
temporary paralysis, reader almost gets stabbed in the nose
Tumblr media
CASE FILE. MUSE-009
CLASS. MERMAID
SEVERITY. 3/10
DESCRIPTION. The fishermen of Watatsumi island have been complaining of a mysterious sea creature slashing their nets whenever they go out to fish. Every time they reel the nets up, they always come up empty with nothing but a gaping hole, the faint shimmering of pearlescent pink scales, and no fish. Villagers have taken it upon themselves to call for a monster hunter to remove this unknown creature.
Tumblr media
“Ugh, sushi? No thanks.” You waved your hand dismissively at your coworker and eyed the mission board instead. “You go on ahead. I think I’m gonna take another job for some extra cash.”
“You sure?” Your coworker Thoma only stared at you in disbelief. It had been ages since you last took a break for dinner, and he was half tempted to change his dinner plans to something you did like in order to get you to take a break for once in your life. He can’t help it! He’s worried about your workaholic attitude!
“We could…go to that other restaurant you like so much. Don’t their rice bowls sound tempti–”
“This one!”
Thoma watched as you tore a job listing off the board and smiled with newfound glee. “Heh, ironic you brought up sushi beforehand, Thoma, cuz this job is an aquatic creature.” 
“Ah…a merperson?” Thoma broke into a cold sweat at your excitement. “You really want to go to the coast at this time of night?” He worried over you like a mother who couldn’t let go. “No silly, the island I’m going to is at least a day’s trip away, I need to prepare some equipment tonight before I go.”
“Oh phew. So you can go to dinner tonight?” Poor Thoma sounded like an excited puppy. 
“What? Dinner?” You literally laughed out loud at his statement. “Oh Thoma, you jokester!”
Thoma was in fact, not joking. 
“Y/N don’t give me that tone, you haven’t had a decent meal in over six months!” He held up six fingers to further accentuate his statement. “Everytime I come over to your place you’re always munching on those smiley face fries, or snacks you bought at the corner store. It’s not healthy!”
You stared at Thoma’s outburst and frowned. 
“I like those smiley face fries.”
“No!”
Thoma grabbed your hand with the paper and balled it up in his fists. “Listen, if you let me treat you to dinner this once, I promise I’ll come over and help set up your equipment for this job.”
“Gaaaaaaasp. Really?” Wow, Thoma really is the ultimate best friend. “Deal! Also I’m ordering the most expensive thing there.”
“As long as you eat properly…” Thoma sighed. “Now let’s go get this job approved for you.”
Tumblr media
The journey to Watatsumi island was a short yet very tedious one. It required you to rent a motorboat off the pier and sail yourself to the secluded fishing village of Watatsumi island on your own. The waves did not seem to want to work in your favor as your tiny little motorboat was tossed back and forth for the past few hours and caused you to become sick upon reaching Watatsumi’s docks. Your poor, iron-stomached bravado being torn to mere shreds as you got off your dingy little boat with legs wobblier than a newborn lamb. Locals of the village looking at you in pity with how green your face looked upon arrival.
“Thank goodness! You must be the monster hun–”
“Yeah yeah just give me a second…”
You screwed your eyes shut whilst you got your equipment off the boat. Willing the seasick headache to go away as you had a job to do and the quicker you did it, the quicker you could get off this island.
“Erm, do you need some help, miss?” One of the men at the dock asked timidly. 
“Sigh. Half this stuff can explode and half this stuff can poison you. I’d rather not risk a dead man on my name after this.” You seemed so tired already after your time at sea and you didn’t even get to see what kind of monster you were dealing with. “Just let me handle this, I’m a professional.” 
“O-Of course Miss monster hunter.” 
Upon getting the last briefcase off your barely functional rowboat, you exhaled a sigh of relief and looked around at the shoddy fishing village before you. The whole place not looking too good as it looked like it went through fifty rounds of thunderstorms before you got there. 
‘I thought they were only suffering from a major food crisis…’ you pondered, taking in how the dock itself had holes in it. ‘Not good. The whole place is practically falling apart.’
“I thought the Watatsumi fishing village was a prosperous one…?” you voiced out loud, eyes widening when one of the ceiling tiles of a nearby shop fell off. Holy cannoli, this place was held up by toothpicks!  
“It used to be,” the timid man from before sighed. “But then we ran out of fish to sell on the mainland. Our main source of income now is whatever we can sell from our homes.” Your nose scrunched up at this reveal and you couldn’t help but feel guilty for lashing out at him earlier. “The situation has gotten this out of hand?” You watched as people began loading up wagons with household furniture to sell. 
“Unfortunately.” 
‘All this just because of one pesky sea monster…’ you scoffed and grabbed your stuff to head for the motel. ‘How annoying.’
“Timid boy,” you called for him to come and gestured to your bags beside you. “Take my stuff to the inn. I’ll be doing some investigating before taking any course of action.”
“B-But I’m not a bellhop!” 
You threw a small sack of coins behind you and watched from your peripheral vision as he stumbled to catch it. “You are now. That should pay you plenty.”
“Ah–! Miss monster hunter!”
“Don’t worry! I’ll be back soon!” you waved your hand dismissively and made your way deeper into town. The poor man left to handle your equipment, even though you said not to earlier. 
‘B-But she said they could explode and poison me…!’
Tumblr media
“Over here is the cove where we do most of our fishing.”
After wandering around and speaking to a few fishermen, they led you to a wide cove on the edge of Watatsumi and showed you the damages caused to their nets by the unknown anomaly. “As you can see, these nets that were casted out not too far from here were violently slashed to threads after just being underwater for a minute. I mean, what could cause such destruction?!”
“May I see the nets for myself, Mr. Fisherman?”
“Do as you please, you’re the expert after all.”
He handed you one of the tattered nets and watched as you inspected it closely, catching bits of shimmering pink scales caught in the threads of the thick rope. ‘Hm…these scales…’ you plucked one off its knot and held it up closer to the sun. ‘Pearlescent, light in color, nearly translucent, rounder…’
You chuckled and handed the scale over to the fisherman. “You’re lucky this creature isn’t too serious. It’s not a siren or sea serpent of any sort, just a young merperson.”
“A merperson? You could tell?” The fisherman seemed in awe at your professionalism. “Of course, I can even tell that the merperson we’re talking about here is a young one. Judging by the scales, they’re much firmer and smoother compared to older merfolk who have brittle and rougher scales.” 
“Wow, you’re incredible!” The fisherman boisterously laughed. “I woulda assumed it was some sort of rainbow fish judging from the glittery pink.”
You shrugged and gestured to the pile of discarded nets behind, trying not to let your ego get the better of you. “Can I check the other nets too? I need to ensure that it’s the work of either one merperson or a whole pod.”
“Pod?!”
You ignored his surprise and walked over to pick up one of the discarded nets, holding them up to examine the scales and sure enough, they were light pink and shimmery just like the one you plucked. ‘Only one merperson?’ you were amused at the idea of a single merperson doing so much damage to one town. ‘Now this is interesting.’
“S-So?” The fisherman looked anxious at your ongoing silence. “Is it bad?”
“What? Oh no, of course not!” you burst out laughing and tossed the ruined net aside. “I can determine that this is the work of only one merperson. For whatever reason, they moved into the cove and have started slashing your nets for food or whatever reason I’ll come up with later.”
The fisherman exhaled a sigh of relief and patted your shoulder in assurance. “Phew, so you can get rid of it?” he asked with a toothy grin. 
“Tch, of course I can!” You flicked his hand off your shoulder and grinned an egoistic smile. “I’ve beheaded literal sea serpents before, this’ll all just be a walk in the park.”
“Hahaha! I knew our village chief would only hire the best of the best!” the fisherman –who was already getting a tad bit annoying to you– slapped your back with a big muscly arm and nearly sent you flying. “Oh whoops! Sorry, I forget my arms can send people flying sometimes. Whoopsies!”
You groaned and waved off his apology to keep searching around the cove for clues. Unknowingly attracting the attention of two curious blue eyes peeking at you from underneath the pier. 
‘Scary pretty lady…’ its pupils following you in both admiration and fear.
Tumblr media
After getting a quick walk –not really quick, it took two hours– around the cove and analyzing your area for a bit, you decided that now would be the best time to strike as the sun was high in the air, and the sky was as clear as the water. Wow, the people of Watatsumi really knew how to take care of their waters!
“Agh, I can’t wait to get out of here,” you tossed your equipment in yet another dinghy row boat and went over to untie the ropes latched onto the pier. “Then Thoma can treat me to some more expensive food and I can eat like the queen that I am.”
You began daydreaming about all the restaurants you would drag him to once this job was over, and thought about possibly taking up that vacation week you haven’t used yet to take some quality me time and unwind. Maybe Thoma was right, you did tend to overwork yourself even though you complained often about having to do so much work. You didn’t even understand it yourself yet somehow it always happens. 
‘Ugh. I hate when Thoma is right.’ You chewed your bottom lip in frustration when the knot holding your boat in place wouldn’t come undone. ‘But I also wish he were here to help me get this STUPID KNOT UNTIED–’
SPLASH!
Your body froze when you heard a loud splash coming from the water and a wet ‘plop’ coming from the very edge of the dock. The dock you were currently stationed at was one that wasn’t frequently used by the village, so there was practically no one in sight as it was just you, your boat, and whatever just came out of the water just now. 
“Wh-What the fu–” your eyes widened when they raised to see a young mermaid woman adoring pastel pink hair to match her equally pastel pink tail. Light blue tips that matched the color of the sky and a soft expression on her face that could mimic that of a doll. 
‘IT’S THE MERMAID! THE MERPERSON THAT SLASHED THOSE NETS. THAT PINK TAIL MATCHES–’
You instinctively reached for your dagger on your thigh strap only to wince when something black and spiky launched into your left ankle. Your face drained of any color as your limbs felt weak and limp, paralyzed like something was shutting off all your nerves and forcing your body into hypersleep. 
“Wha…What the–” you quickly collapsed at the sight of a black sea urchin stuck in the skin of your ankle, piercing through the cloth with ease and seeping its toxin deep within its veins. “Did you just throw a sea urchin at me?!”
Luckily you could still breathe, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to talk. 
“Human women are so pretty…” the mermaid ignored your question before doing the scariest shit possible and slithering towards you with her arms helping her crawl. A scream trapped within your throat as you wanted to keep your pride and dignity intact as a high-ranking monster hunter. 
‘I’ve dealt with eldritch horrors, haunted manors, possessive demons and cult-like behaviors. YET A CRAWLING MERMAID FREAKS ME OUT THE MOST–’
You tried willing your arms to pluck the sea urchin off your ankle and kill the woman before she reached you, yet the toxins flowing from the urchin in your leg refused to let your muscles cooperate. Honestly, it felt like you were one of those helpless horror movie protagonists! “Ah shit. I will NOT meet my demise to a low-leveled, pastel princess, glittery pink mermai–”
And then she was on top of you, grabbing your face with her webbed hands and laying all her tail weight onto the lower half of your already limp legs. “Human women also make a lot of noise. Strange.”
You could only stare at her eyes in shock, fear, and confusion as you were half expecting her to tear off your face with her teeth at this point. Which, upon closer inspection, seemed relatively dull despite being of an omnivorous species. 
“Ah…of course we do. It’s only normal for humans to scream when in danger…” you were spouting nonsense at this point, wow; you really were scared half to death. Never in your life were you put in such a vulnerable position before, and by a mermaid no less! “Now can you please get off me? I don’t want to die from this…”
“Die? Danger?” The mermaid woman blinked slowly at your words. Almost like a tortoise as she seemed to take a while to comprehend what you were saying. “I don’t understand. I am not dangerous.”
You scoffed and looked down to the sea urchin still stuck in your ankle. “That urchin you threw to paralyze me says otherwise…”
The mermaid turned her head to stare at the creature lodged in your foot before turning back to stare at you some more. “It was a necessary sacrifice. How else am I supposed to get close to you?”
“Close to me?!”
She suddenly nuzzled into your neck, breathing in that dry scent that only humans seemed to carry. “Yes. I’ve been watching you traverse the cove all afternoon. You are one of the prettiest human women I’ve ever seen so I followed you.” She looked up at you again and reached up to pet your hair. “I wanted to touch your hair. It looked nice and soft.”
“Well, you’re doing it now…” you spoke with a shaky sigh as the mermaid fell into comfortable silence on top of you. ‘Hm, she doesn’t seem to be too dangerous, plus she’s capable of decent human speech. Best case scenario is that I can negotiate with her into a relocation. That way I don’t have to go through the effort of killing something again.’
“H-Hey…mermaid woman,” she hummed in acknowledgment but continued petting your hair. “Do you think you can remove the sea urchin in my leg? I want to talk to you.”
Her blue eyes moved down suspiciously, seemingly picking apart your words like a vulture to a carcass. “But you may hurt me. I’m not a threat, but scary lady can be.”
‘Oh so I’m the scary lady.’
“I promise I won’t hurt you,” you sighed, shutting your eyes in the process and lying flat on the ground with your neck bared, a common sign of submission in the monster world. “You can even check me for weapons and remove them if you wish.” ‘No big deal. Once she removes the urchin I’m free to move and defend myself even without a weapon.’
“Really?” the pastel mermaid looked at you with curiosity before unsheathing your dagger from its pocket and holding it up to the sky to examine. “So, I can take this?”
“...Sure.” You winced at how lightly she was handling it. Honestly, a mermaid with a dagger was even more dangerous and you regret ever showing her where you concealed it. “Hm, okay!” she smiled and threw the dagger over the pier while you screamed in agony. 
Mental agony. 
“Why did you throw it?!” you shouted, tears brimming at the sound of it plopping into the water. 
“You said I could remove it.”
“Remove it, not throw it away!”
You were honestly crying at this point. Of all the monsters that could have destroyed your sanity or make you cry, it was a mermaid of all things. 
“...Don’t cry.” The mermaid reached a webbed finger up to your lashes and wiped the brimming tears away. “Human women crying sounds awful.”
“Sniff, gee thanks…” your ego was practically nonexistent at this point as you found yourself being comforted by the same mermaid that scared the shit out of you. “That dagger was expensive, you know. It’ll be hard to get another one just like it.”
“...If it makes you feel any better,” the mermaid crawled back to remove the urchin in a quick, painless tug, all sense of relief and feeling flowing back to your veins as your body went back into overdrive. “I’m sorry…”
“Oh my gods…” you felt like you could see the stars once the toxins deployed in your veins had vanished. “I can feel again!”
“I’m sorry…” the mermaid got off you and raised her arms to cover her head. “Please don’t turn me into a fish filet!”
“What? Ew no!” you made a disgusted face at the accusation and recoiled out of cringe. “Why would I want to eat something that is anatomically half human?”
“Eh? But mermaid tails are a delicacy in the monster market,” the mermaid held onto her tail like it was the most precious thing in the world to her. “I heard that monster hunters capture mermaids to sell them to butchers. I don’t want my tail cut off!”
“...Gross.” You stuck your tongue out at the description. “Look, I promise you, I don’t even like seafood. Plus, the thought of mermaid seafood makes me want to gag.” Though you were already gagging.
“...Really?” she looked at you with pretty doe eyes and you had the strange yet tolerable urge to hug her. “I mean it. I just want to ask you a few questions, that’s all.” 
“That’s…it?” she looked skeptical and was hesitant to relax her body around you. 
“That’s it.” You confirmed, assuming a natural, relaxed stance and letting the creature know that you weren’t a threat. Well not anymore, at least. “Feel free to slither— er, crawl away if you feel uncomfortable.” Hah, that was a lie. Of course you were still going to chase her down, you were a monster hunter and this was your job.
“Oh, alright.” The mermaid leaned back on her tail and stared at you to continue. “I will answer your questions.”
“Good. Can I ask for your name first though? I’d like to put a name to your face as I’m already getting tired of referring to you as “the mermaid.””
“Kokomi.” She answered softly, fiddling with the tips of her hair as she began getting nervous all of a sudden. “Sangonomiya Kokomi.”
“Ko-ko-mi,” you tested out her name on your tongue and smiled when she flinched at your voice. “I like it. It’s cute and it suits you.”
“Ah…thank you…” Her cheeks turned a somber shade of pink as she fiddled with the webbing between her fingers. Eager to get this ‘interview’ over with as she wanted to ask you some questions in return. 
“First of all Kokomi, I’m sure you’re aware by now that I am a monster hunter, yes?” Kokomi nodded and ushered for you to continue. “Well, I was hired by this village to get to the bottom of a strange creature who has been slashing the nets of fishermen and letting the fish escape. When I investigated the destroyed nets however, I found these.” You held up a handful of pearlescent pink fish scales from your pocket and smirked, noting how Kokomi froze in place once she saw them. “They are pretty much identical to the scales on your tail, yes? So tell me Kokomi, was the creature who kept slashing the fishing nets your doing–”
“I’m sorry! It is all a misunderstanding!”
Wow, that was quick. 
“Hah! So you did do it?” you confirmed. Kokomi’s face all red from the interrogation as she was embarrassed from breaking so easily. “Yes, but I promise it wasn’t for any selfish reasons!”
“How so? Defend your argument!” You were about to go all Ace Attorney on her ass. 
“I didn’t eat them! I swear! I just cut the nets so that they can be free! They deserve to be free!”
“What?!’
“Fish are friends! Not food!”
Kokomi’s face had puffed up in pride and anger as she continued to rant about how people shouldn’t eat fish. When she saw her poor fishy friends getting scooped up by giant nets nearby, she just couldn’t help herself! You couldn’t believe it, you pretty much found a vegan mermaid activist!
“You cut them so that the fish can be free…?” you worded slowly, letting her passionate speech sink into your mind. “That’s…it?”
“Yes! I don’t want any more sea creatures suffering!” she huffed, crossing her arms and looking like an angry pomeranian more than anything else. Wow, you can’t believe you let yourself get scared half to death by a monster who didn’t even eat meat. What a stab to your pride. 
“But Kokomi, the people of this village need to eat and sell the fish they catch. It isn’t fair to them if you keep depleting their resources.” You gestured behind you to the fishing village not too far away and frowned. “That place isn’t going to last more than six months at this rate. The people will be forced to abandon it.”
“But…” Kokomi frowned and tucked her tail underneath her arms. “My friends…”
Shoot. Are her eyes watering? 
“Sorry Kokomi, but it’s unfair to those who need to eat certain things to survive. I’m sure you understand, most merpeople are omnivores.”
The tiny ‘sniff’ coming from Kokomi’s nose made your heart pang with guilt. God, why does this one peculiar monster have to be the reason you cry? It was really making you annoyed. “I know…” Kokomi mumbled, “I just hate seeing them in pain. I can’t help myself!”
And that’s your ticket to a solution. 
“What if you didn’t have to see them in pain?” You offered, a smile playing upon your lips as your plan was now set into motion. “Wouldn’t it be nice to live somewhere where you didn’t have to see the fish getting hunted?”
“I’ve thought about it but I don’t want to leave my friends to suffer without me!” Kokomi whined, “Besides, there’s a mean pod of dolphins on the exit of the cove so I can’t even leave! They’re all bullies.”
Ah. Yeah, dolphins are bitches. 
“So you’ve tried leaving the cove before?” You questioned. 
“Sometimes, but I’m always chased off by that angry pod. A mermaid on her own is no match for a feisty group of mammals like them.” She began picking at her scales and seemed to frown at the memory like a distant flashback. “I actually never lived in the cove in the first place. The dolphins chased me here and kept me here for a while if I recall.”
Hm, so this place isn’t even her home. Everything's just falling into place for you!
“How would you like to go home then?” you smiled, “I was sent here to get rid of the fishing problem and I think I know of a way to help both parties.”
“You can take me home?!” For a moment, Kokomi’s eyes lit up like glow sticks. “I…Wait– you can’t…”
Your brows raised at her sudden shift in tone. “Oh? Why not?”
She pushed her two fingers together and giggled nervously. “Aha…I may have been banned from my group after trying to get everyone off their fish diet… That’s why I left in the first place…”
Oh my God… 
You nearly threw yourself off the pier. Ashamed of the fact that THIS was the monster you almost shit yourself over. “You got yourself kicked out for being an over aggressive vegan?” you clarified. “If that’s what I am then yes, yes I was.” She sat there all too innocently as you screwed your eyes shut at such a ridiculously overly-stupid (and cute but you didn’t want to admit it) story. Half tempted to just get up and leave at this point because you were in disbelief at how absurd everything was. 
“...Okay, listen up Kokomi. I will help you get out of this cove, only if you agree to stop slashing fishermen nets everytime you see one. Deal?”
“You’ll help me leave?!” she exclaimed excitedly.
“Only if you promise not to disturb the fishermen ever again!” You quickly added. “And remember, you can’t force your beliefs onto other people. So if you join another mermaid group to live with, you cannot, absolutely CANNOT force them to give up their omnivorous diet.”
“...Okay!” Did she really agree that quickly?! “As long as the fish in this cove are safe and protected.”
“Uh…sure…” you bit your lip at yet another blatant lie you just told her. I mean, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her. “I promise nothing bad will happen to the fish in this cove.”
“Ahhh, thank you scary pretty lady!” Kokomi grinned. 
“It’s Y/N.” You corrected, patting her pastel hair before getting up. “Well, tonight is when I plan to finish up this mission, so if you want to go pack up anything before leaving I suggest doing it now.” Kokomi paused for a second before nodding in understanding. “Okay. I’ll be ready by tonight!” she exclaimed. “This is so exciting! I finally get to leave the cove!”
“Yes yes, very exciting. Now, I’ll be here when the sun sets in a few hours, once it’s dark enough I’ll be able to sneak you around through town in order to get to my boat. Sound good?” Kokomi nodded enthusiastically. “Very good! Thank you scar– Y/N. Thank you Y/N.”
“Of course.” You responded, turning your heel before hearing a splash behind you. 
Tumblr media
“Careful timid boy, this is precious cargo. If you drop it, I may reduce your tip to only fifty.”
“Dollars?”
“Cents.”
He started handling the giant cooler you two were carrying with much, much more carefulness now. Treating the heavy cooler like it was a giant chest of gold before reaching the docks with your tethered motorboat still attached. “Easy now,” you ordered, carefully placing the cooler onto the boat before wiping off the sweat from your brow. “Phew, you and I make a good team, timid boy. You sure you don’t want to be a monster hunter?”
He shook his head so hard it almost dislocated his neck. 
“Hah! That’s alright, you’d make a better bellhop anyways, timid boy.” You got the last of your equipment (that you didn’t even need to use, mind you) onto the boat and started untying the rope holding your boat in place. 
“Are you sure the problem has been resolved?” the timid man asked you, “It’s just…you did it all in one day. You didn’t even check into the inn I put all your luggage in!”
“Puh! I’m just that much of a professional,” you assured. “I’ve been doing this business for years, I assure you that the fishing problem is solved and that your village will prosper once more. Hunter’s word.”
For once since your time on Watatsumi island, you saw the timid man smile. “Th-Thank you miss monster hunter!” he exclaimed, “Your generosity shall be paid tenfold! If you ever come to visit anytime soon, I promise to treat you to dinner!”
“Pfft, you’re too kind, timid boy,” you smiled, “However, I must be going now as I’d rather not be out to sea for too long…”
“Are you sure you can traverse the sea at this hour?” he gulped. “It’s all pitch black out there…”
“As long as I have my eyes, I’m good,” you chuckled, relying heavily on your tremendous eyesight as every trained monster hunter had the honed ability to see in pitch darkness. “Farewell Mr. Timid Boy, it was nice chatting with you.” You tossed him another sack of coin before finally untying your boat and getting on before drifting off. The man who helped relay information to you waving for as long as you could see. 
“Can I come out now?” Came Kokomi’s muffled voice as you chuckled and popped the lid open from the cooler. “Yes, my helper is gone now. It’s just the two of us at sea.”
“Ah…” she propped her whole body up from the cooler full of water and looked around at the empty space around you. Nothing but night sky and water filling the void as the only things in sight were the boat, your equipment, and you. 
“The sea is so quiet from the surface…” Kokomi murmured, seeming in awe at how smooth everything looked. 
“Trust me, it wasn’t like this in the morning.” You groaned. “I think I almost puked up my breakfast…”
Your eyes lit up at the reminder and eagerly dug into your satchel to fetch a small container of Tupperware. ‘Food! I forgot I haven’t eaten since this morning. I’m practically starving!’
Kokomi looked perplexed at the little piece of plastic only to grow more intrigued when a very tasty smell emerged once you opened it. She was curious, she had never seen such a strange contraption before and was tempted to ask you what it was before laying her eyes on a strange —yet very delectable looking— food in the shape of a smiley face.
“Scary la— Y/N, what’s that?” She asked curiously. Her nose twitching at the smell as the Tupperware had succeeded in keeping your food hot all day.
“Ah, my lunch. I was supposed to eat it while on my job to find you, but I forgot once you came so abruptly.” 
“It smells good…” Kokomi mumbles, her tummy making an awkward rumbling noise and causing her to frown. “Ah…sorry.”
‘Cute.’ You took note at how she balled up her tail to cover her bare stomach as if that would muffle the noise at all. “There’s no need to be embarrassed, it’s just your body telling you that you’re hungry. It’s only natural.”
You picked up one of the smiley face fries in your container and handed it over to the starving mermaid. “Here. It’s made up of mostly starch so it can be quite filling.”
“What is it?” Kokomi immediately shoved it into her mouth and nearly screamed at the burning sensation on her tongue.
“H-HOT—!”
You held your hands out for her to spit into and couldn’t help but laugh at her exasperated face. “You’re supposed to blow on it before eating. I thought they would have cooled down by now but I guess not…”
“Ugh…I’m just not used to hot food.” Kokomi murmurs. Which is understandable considering that the ocean can be pretty cold and you doubt that the merfolk need to cook in order to survive. “It hurts my tongue…”
“Here, let me blow on one for you.” You picked up another smiley face fry and blew on it gently to soothe the whispering steam. “Try it now.” You lifted the morsel up to her lips and watched as Kokomi hesitantly bit into it with the caution of a newborn kitten. Barely even chewing, her eyes lit up at this strange new flavor –although it’s literally just salt and potato– and began reaching over to hastily grab another one from your lap. 
“Like it?” You chuckled. 
“It’s so good!” she exclaimed, grabbing another before blowing on it like a candle. “What is it?!”
“Fries.”
“Fries!”
She shoved it in her mouth and dove for another before quickly swatting her hand away. “Slow down! You’ll choke if you eat too fast!” She pouted at your quick reflexes and resumed chewing at a much slower pace. “Whth aw thfese mfade of?” she asked through a mouthful of potato. 
“It’s made of a type of root vegetable we have on land. It’s called a potato.” You smiled, using your thumb to wipe away some of it off her face. “It’s so good!” she beams after swallowing her bite whole. “Is all human food this good?”
“Most of them, yeah.” You found yourself enjoying your time with Kokomi as the two of you exchanged face fries and chatted about what kind of foods you most enjoyed eating. Your heart swelling at the fact that you finally, finally found someone who enjoyed the same tastes that you had. In your face Thoma! Smiley face fries are delicious!  
“Oh! I almost forgot!” Kokomi shouts abruptly as she suddenly digs through her bag to fish out something long and pointy. “I have a gift for you, Y/N.”
“You don’t have to do that–” you tried assuring before nearly getting your nose speared by something long and pointy. Goddammit, this was the second time today that Kokomi almost made you scream.“Of course I do! I feel terrible about throwing your dagger off the pier so I wanted to make it up to you!”
“I adore you for your generosity, Kokomi but please don’t hold something pointy so close to my face.” You sputtered as the tip of the object was dangerously close to landing you in the infirmary. 
“Oh! Sorry.”
She carefully turned it over and handed it to you so that you could grasp it safely by the handle. Heart still racing from the encounter as you tried to compose yourself to appreciate her gift. “So? What do you think?” 
As you looked down at the long, bone-like blade in your hands, you ran your fingers through the rough and textured spine of the handle. The ‘blade’ part of the weapon having tiny little jagged roots that jutted out downwards so that if you were to stab something, the jagged edges would hook onto the flesh and make it extra painful to pull out. 
“It’s a stingray dagger! Us merfolk usually use the skeletons of animal parts as weapons since they make useful daggers and swords. Of course, I polished this dagger from an already dead stingray, I’m not a barbarian!” Kokomi explains. “I felt bad since you lost your original dagger, and although this might not be comparable to it in terms of quality, I wanted to get you a temporary replacement.” 
She bows her head respectively as a small blush seeps onto her face. “I hope you don’t mind…”
“Woahhh…” you breathed out in awe, tracing the cool patterns on the weapon. “It’s beautiful, Kokomi. Thanks! I’ve never seen or felt anything like this on any weapon I’ve held before.” 
“Ahhh, that makes me glad!” The pinkette grins. “Perhaps I'll sharpen an identical one so that we can match.”
“That’s…” Oh gods, that’s so cute. “You– You can do that, yes. I won’t object to it.”
Kokomi giggles at your reaction and the two of you enjoy your ride in comfortable silence. 
Tumblr media
“Thomaaaa!” You called out as your boat drew closer to the mainland. “Thomaaaaaaaa.”
“Y/N…who’re you calling to?” Kokomi asked worriedly.
“My best friend, Thoma! He’s going to be helping me move you to your new location. Across the mainland and somewhere where you won’t be able to witness fishermen hunting your friends.” As your boat cruises closer you could make out the faint outline of a tall man waving at you from the dock. That unmistakable ponytail of his being the key giveaway to knowing it’s your friend from afar.
“Over here!” He called out through the fog, shining a bright flashlight so you could dock correctly beside the pier. 
“A human man?!” Kokomi exclaims, eyes wide before diving back down into her cooler and tucking herself in to make herself as small as possible. “Ah, Kokomi what’s wron—“
“Y/N! Eyes ahead!” Thoma called out sternly, causing you to remember your original mission and focus on steering the boat correctly. “Sorry! I got distracted a bit…”
Pulling up to the side of where Thoma was currently standing, you killed the motor and got up to leave before feeling a cold hand catch yours.
“…Kokomi?”
“You aren’t leaving me with him, right?” She asked timidly, unsure of being left alone with a human stranger without you. “Ah, of course not. Thoma is just helping me carry you, that’s all.”
“…Okay.” Kokomi mutters, hesitantly letting you go so that you could toss the rope to Thoma and have him tie your boat to the dock. 
“I got your message,” Thoma chuckled. “You really cleared a mission in under a day? That’s a new record for you.”
“Oh please, I’ve dealt with easier missions than this.” You grinned. “It just so happens that Kokomi is easier to negotiate with than fight.”
“So that’s her name…” Thoma looked over to the balled up Kokomi and she shot him an angry face in return. Not liking the strange new human as he was not only a stranger, but a stranger that was taking up your attention!
“Hah, she looks like she’d shred me to pieces…” Thoma laughed nervously. “If looks could kill, I’d be in her stomach by now.”
“Nah she won’t do that. Kokomi doesn’t eat meat. Or, fish meat, I guess.” You assured, failing to notice the grim look overtaking Kokomi’s usually innocent features.
‘No, but I would shred him for you, Y/N.’ Kokomi seethed. ‘Feed him to my fishies and sell his bones to use as mermaid clubs—‘
“Anyway, did you get what I asked for, Thoma?” You asked, cutting the conversation short. 
“Er…not exactly…” Thoma winced, gesturing to a wheelbarrow behind him.
“THOMA—!” You nearly bashed your head against the floor out of frustration. “I told you to bring me a pickup truck so we can drive Kokomi much easier!”
“I couldn’t find my keys…” Thoma mumbled. “So I found this wheelbarrow in my shed and figured I could use that.”
You wanted to cry.
“What’s a wheelbarrow?” Kokomi asked out of the blue. Oh right, she was still left in the dark about all this.
“Er…Sorry Kokomi but since Thoma left his brains at home he forgot to bring something very important to transport you in. So now we have to carry you in this.” You pointed to the brown wheelbarrow behind Thoma and held your breath for the inevitable disdain on Kokomi’s face.
Only…there was no disdain.
“I get to ride in that?!” Kokomi squeals. 
“You’re excited?!” Both you and Thoma exclaim. 
Kokomi practically splashed around in glee. “I’ve never written in a human land vehicle before! It looks so fun! It even has wheels!” She lifted her arms up like a toddler asking to be picked up. “I want to go in!” 
You and Thoma looked at each other, before a smug smile made its way onto Thoma’s face. “Glad to know she’s not crabby about it unlike someone I know.”
He chuckled when you rolled your eyes. “Whatever Thoma the Tank Engine, as long as Kokomi is comfortable.” You walked over to Kokomi’s raised arms and put them down to carry her a different way. Her face growing confused as she thought you were picking her up from under the arms.
“Sit up, I’m carrying you in a much easier way.” You explained, waiting for Kokomi to get in an arched sitting position before sliding your arms under the midsection of her tail and the back of her body. 
“Ah—!” Kokomi did not expect you to princess style carry her out of the boat and walk over to the wheelbarrow like a knight in shining armor. Her hands reaching desperately to cling onto your neck as she fathomed the thought of you carrying her around like this all the time. ‘Wow, Y/N is actually really strong…!’
“There you go…” you grumbled softly as you gently set Kokomi on the wheelbarrow. The mermaid easily feeling comfortable inside despite her tail hanging off the side due to its massive size. “Are you comfortable?”
“Very.” Kokomi confirmed. “Push me. Please.”
It sounded more like a demand rather than a request, but you indulged in her anyway. 
“Of course, Thoma; you could just drop my equipment at my house, thanks.” 
“Wait, I thought I was coming with you?” Thoma queried. 
“You were if you had brought the pickup truck I asked for so you could drive it. However, since you didn’t, I will be personally escorting Kokomi on my own.” You gripped the handles of the wheelbarrow and began jogging to give Kokomi the ride of her life. Her voice squealing at the feeling of air on her face whilst you waved goodbye to Thoma.
“You know where my house keys are! See you in a few hours!”
“You better repay me someday, Y/N!” 
You only laughed at his obedience and indulged yourself in Kokomi’s angelic laughter and squeals. Raising her arms high up in the air as if she were riding a roller coaster. 
“Land air feels great!” She exclaims, shutting her eyes and letting the wind blow at her face. “It’s so much more fragrant and crisp!”
You weren’t entirely sure what she meant by ‘crisp’ but you were enjoying her happiness nonetheless.
As the two of you cut through some scenic paths and nature’s residence in civilization, you and Kokomi played a game which involved her pointing at something random, and you telling her what it was.
“What’s that?”
“A tree.”
“What’s that?”
“A rabbit.”
“What’s that?”
“Another tree.”
As tiring as it was to entertain the curious mermaid, you could tell she was getting tired as her eyes started drooling adorably and her speech started getting slurred. Your heart hammering at the sight as even you had to admit that the tedious creature was a bit adorable. 
“Is that another tree..?”
“Nope. That’s a bush.” You chuckled, peering through the horizon and spotting the other side of the sea in front of you. An empty beach that no one ever used so that the two of you could say your goodbyes in private.
“Here we are,” you spoke gently, pushing the wheelbarrow carefully down the hill and traversing from gravel to sand. The smell of salty seawater coming all too familiar to you once more as the previous smells from the forest were a memory no more. 
“It’s so pretty…” Kokomi gasped, her eyes stirring back awake when you set the wheelbarrow to a stop to gaze at the ocean in front of you. A sunrise now peeking up from the horizons as you had spent all night traveling on foot with Kokomi. “This is where I will live?”
“If you choose to. You can practically live anywhere you can swim to.” You chuckled. 
“That sounds a lot better than the cove already…” Kokomi sighed, looking back at you with glossy, blue eyes. “I think I’m ready to go now, Y/N.” 
You smiled. 
“Alright then.”
As you moved to pick up Kokomi once more, she gripped onto your neck again before planting a small kiss against your cheek. An action that caused you to nearly lose balance and drop her before you could even reach the water.
Luckily, your hunter instincts stopped you from doing so.
“Ah— Kokomi?!” You were blushing. Why were you blushing?! 
“Thank you for this, Y/N. Even though this is your way of getting rid of me, I’m still grateful.” 
“But I’m not getting rid of you Kokomi.” You waded into the water until you were waist deep and set Kokomi down to swim. “If anything, I really enjoyed your company. So much so to say that I even like you as a person.”
Kokomi, now submerged in cold water, had tears in her eyes that could easily be mistaken as seawater. “You like me?” She grins.
“You’re tolerable. Yeah.”
She smiles when you look away out of embarrassment and pets your hair in comfort, your face only burning up even more. “I like you too, Y/N. I hope we see each other again soon.” 
She grins one last time and you’ve committed that smile into the very corners of your memory. 
“I promise to always be nearby.”
With a cute little wave, she slides from your grasp and takes off with the strength of a feisty orca. Jetting off with a speed you could only hope to see again in your dreams.
But maybe this parting wouldn’t be too bad. As you watched Kokomi swim deeper and deeper into the sea, you felt the faint, bittersweet tang of remembrance as you recalled all the fun times you had with the little mermaid. A somber smile on your lips as you reached into your pocket and pulled out the little stingray dagger she gifted to you on the boat.
“Even though you’re out in the big blue sea by now…” you felt each sharp bristle against your finger and grinned at the thought of her making a matching set. “I think you’re still right beside me.”
And who knows.
Maybe you’ll see her again…
Tumblr media
160 notes · View notes
Text
Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
Characters: Steve Harrington x Reader
Summary: Steve had bought his best friend the perfect gift. Problem was, so had Vicky which meant Steve now had to buy an even better replacement.
Word Count: 1452 words
Prompt: #12: A is looking for a last minute gift and enlists the shop owner, B, for help, but quickly ends up getting distracted by them
A/N: Here is the first of my Steven’s Greetings from the lovely Steve Harrington. The amazing @kjs-s chose this prompt and it seemed like a very good place to start.
Tumblr media
He could kill Robin. In fact, that sounded like an excellent idea right now, murder was definitely preferable to braving the last Christmas minute crowds. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t actually been organized this year, he’d been pretty proud of himself in fact. All his gifts had been purchased weeks ago, and not only because that’s when payday was. He’d put thought and effort into each one and it was going to be perfect! He would be everyone’s favourite gift giver this year with no exceptions, and then Robin went and did this to him!
For months now she had been going on and on about this one book, something nerdy that Steve didn’t really understand, filled with photos and stuff. Really, when he saw it, he didn’t understand the hype at all, but his best friend was crazy over it so he decided to save up and buy it for her. Problem was, he’d rocked up to his shift yesterday to see Robin leaned up against the counter engrossed in the damn book! Okay, so it wasn’t all Robin’s fault that Vickie had bought it and given it to her as an early gift, but it was easier to be pissed at Robin. Especially as he pushed his way through the crowded bookstore to the returns counter. Hopefully there wouldn’t be a problem and then he could find something else she might like.
“Hey, I wanna return this.” He practically slammed the book down, his frustration boiling over for a moment.
“Yeah, sure. You got the receipt?” A sweet voice asked. Steve looked up and all his annoyance melted away. Running a hand through his hair, he straightened up a little and attempted a charming smile. He went to lean against the counter, only it was a little lower than he anticipated, and he stumbled slightly. “Receipt?” You asked again with an amused smirk playing on your lips.
“What? Oh, yeah. Erm, receipt. Sure.” He rifled through his pockets and dropped a whole load of pocket detritus onto the counter. “Should have it here.”
Steve could feel you watching him as he shuffled through the tat, every passing second making him feel more self-conscious. “Here! Here it is! Got it.” He held up the crumpled piece of paper like it was the winning lotto ticket and grinned like an idiot.
“Great, okay so…” You took the receipt and frowned. “Sorry, honey, this isn’t it. This is a receipt for a dungeons and dragons encyclopedia?” Steve took in your raised eyebrow and curious look.
“Shit, yeah, that was for Dustin. Not that the kid isn’t already a walking encyclopedia but, I mean, look, is there any way you can just refund this one? I kinda need the money to replace this gift because she’s already got it, my friend that is, not girlfriend.” Steve said quickly, not entirely sure why he wanted you to know he was single.
“There’s not much I can do without the receipt. I mean, I could maybe give store credit? Would that help you?”
“Yes! Yes, that would be great. I mean, there must be something here she’d like, right?”
“We can but hope.” You smiled as you took the book and worked out how much credit he had. “Okay, you’re good to go. Just take whatever you pick up to the counter with this note and we can sort it out for you. Good luck.”
“Yeah, thanks.” Steve took the note and reluctantly moved away from the counter, allowing you to deal with other customers.
He had no clue just how much time had passed, but he knew that he’d wandered around the whole store and hadn’t picked up a single thing. Now, that may be because when his eyes weren’t trailing over to the counter his thoughts definitely were, but he wasn’t about to admit that. He had to focus, had to find a gift worthy of his best friend. His eyes scanned the shelf and his eyebrows raised when he realised he was standing in the sports section, definitely not something Robin was too interested in.
With a deep sigh, he looked back over to the counter where he saw a middle-aged man behind the cash register. His brow furrowed and his eyes darted around, clearly looking for you. Steve told himself that was because he couldn’t be sure this new guy would honor the credit note, but really, he had been hoping to talk to you some more. Maybe it was a good thing you’d gone, at least he couldn’t embarrass himself anymore than he already had.
“So, you friend likes sports?” The familiar voice had his head whipping round so quickly that he stumbled slightly and bumped into the shelf. Heat rushed to his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck, looking up at you as you chuckled.
“Yeah, well, not really.” He admitted sheepishly.
“And yet you’ve spent at least forty minutes in this section.” You teased and somewhere in his brain Steve realised you knew how long he’d been there, which meant you must have been keeping track of him.
“Forty minutes? Really?” He tilted his head slightly and smirked.
“Well, might have been more like five or ten. Not like I’ve been counting.” You shrugged and he felt his wafer-thin confidence dissolve. Of course you hadn’t been watching him like some creep. “So, you found anything she might like yet?”
“I’m struggling, to be honest. Think you would be able to come up with something for me? Or at least point me in the right direction? The book I got was the one thing she’d been going on about but other than that..?” He trailed off with a rather helpless, vulnerable look.
“I’ll see what I can do. You’re gonna have to tell me a bit about her though, give me some insight so I don’t do you wrong.” The playful tone to your voice made him feel better instantly. He just wanted to wrap your words around him like a thick blanket and stay there forever.
“I’m sure you’d never do me wrong.” The line was cheesy, but part of him meant it. Despite just meeting you and not even knowing your name, Steve somehow knew you were the kind of person who would go out of your way to make others feel good.
Two hours. It took Steve Harrington two whole hours from you asking for more information on Robin to him approaching the counter with not one but three books for his best friend. That wasn’t because you weren’t good at your job, far from it. The reason it had taken him so long to decide was because every time you had picked up something and began to talk about it, explain why it might be a good choice, his brain had made everything go kinda fuzzy and his focus flitted between your eyes and your lips. None of the information you imparted had reached his few brain cells not engaged in studying you so intently, and so he hadn’t been able to make a definitive choice. That was why he was now adding cash to his credit note and about to walk away with multiple books.
“Hey,” The guy behind the counter looked at you with mild amusement, “didn’t your shift finish hours ago?”
“Yeah, just had to help Stevie here find something for his platonic, with a capital P, best friend.”
“Your shift finished and you stayed to help me?” He asked softly, a mixture of awe and gratitude in his eyes. You could have just disappeared but instead you had chosen to spend time with him, to help him out.
“Well, you looked a little lost and I figured, what with it being Christmas and all…” you trailed off and gave him a shrug.
“Okay, seeing as you’re filled with Christmas spirit, you maybe wanna help me find some wrapping paper for these? I kinda used a whole roll on two books last week so if you also wanted to actually wrap them too, then that would be great.” He gave you a cheeky grin, earning him a light slap on the arm.
“I’ll come buy some paper with you, but you’re wrapping them yourself. It’s the only way you’ll learn, Harrington.”
As the two of you walked out of the shop, Steve decided he needed to give Robin a bear hug the next time he saw her. He may not be able to explain to his friend why she deserved such treatment, but as he subtly checked out your ass as he held the door open for you, he was definitely grateful he’d had to return that damned book.
85 notes · View notes
Text
The Bugle once got a thing that was thereafter always known as The Greatest Email Ever Received:
youtube
Well earlier today, I got the Greatest Inbox Ask Ever Received. To answer it, I dug through my Britcom folders to find some Andy Zaltzman clips so I could share them with the person who so kindly requested more of him in the world. That made me realize my Zaltzman and Oliver stuff was annoyingly spread out across my hard drive, and I wanted to fix that.
So I put all my Zaltzman and Oliver stuff in one place. And that one folder happened to be just barely under the 15 GB limit that you get on a free Google Drive account, so I decided to make a new one of those and house it online. Here is is, the one-stop shop for Zaltzman and Oliver stand-up/radio/podcast stuff:
What's in here:
A collection I put together of episodes that John and Andy did of Radio 4 shows (stand-up showcases called 4 at the Store/Fringe, Armando Iannucci's Charm Offensive, The News Quiz), from the years before John Oliver moved to America, when Radio 4 panel show spots were quite a natural fit for their careers
The Department - Radio 4 sitcom that they wrote and performed with Chris Addison, also pre-John moving to America, a wildly underrated show in my accurate opinion
Political Animal - that's the name of the gig they hosted in Edinburgh and sometimes in London for a bunch of years, where Zaltzman and Oliver did little sketches and things in between guest comedians who did short stand-up sets of political material, and for a few of those years, the BBC recorded some of those gigs and released it as a Radio 4 show
Zaltzman and Oliver stand-up - these are things I've cut out of various Bugle episodes, and then stitched together at times, when those Bugle episodes released footage of stand-up shows they've done as a double act - also includes a few compilations of them doing the same sketch in different years, and a clip of when Andy Zaltzman briefly came on stage during John Oliver's otherwise solo stand-up DVD, just to be a completist about including all recordings I've found of them doing stand-up together
Every episode of the John Oliver era of The Bugle, including filler episodes and the mini-episodes that Andy Zaltzman did on his own from the 2012 Olympics
John Oliver's 2008 stand-up DVD Terrifying Times, including special features
Andy Zaltzman's 2014 stand-up DVD Satirist For Hire, including special features
Andy Zaltzman's 2019 year-end stand-up show, also released as a Bugle episode, though I cut out all the stuff around it so that audio file is just the stand-up show
In the process of pulling all that together, I did a bit of Googling, and found a couple of reviews of their 2004 that I hadn't seen before and enjoyed reading. The 2004 one is the only full stand-up show I've heard from Zaltzman and Oliver as a double act, because they released a recording of it across a couple of Bugle episodes, and I cut out those recordings and put them together to make one audio file that's just the show, and put that file in the folder I've just linked (the sub-folder with their stand-up), if anyone wants to hear it. It's a recording of them performing the show in 2005, but it's their 2004 Edinburgh show that they're performing. Eloquently titled: Erm… It's About the World… I Think You'd Better Sit Down.
Look, it's everyone's friend Brian Logan! Having opinions in 2004. That guy has so many opinions. Based on the sample I've read, I'd say I agree with about 45% of his opinions. He does have his opinions on a professional basis, though, and I just go around having opinions as a hobby. So I guess he's the real winner, even when his opinions are wrong.
I like comedy with ambition, and saving the world is as ambitious as it gets. Such is the goal that John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman have teamed up to achieve. If the news pages this morning suggest that they've failed, that may be because the duo don't apply any great passion to their task. Their stock-in-trade is the kind of urbane wit that we associate with their regular employer, Radio 4. You sense that they'd treat Armageddon and Nirvana with the same arched eyebrow. But their jokes are as intelligent as they come. Oliver and Zaltzman are better writers than performers, and their tag-team relationship here can seem slightly stilted. But there are some expressive set pieces. I may not agree that public opinion is as rightwing as they portray it, but Zaltzman ruthlessly spoofs the kind of politician who adapts his speech, phrase by phrase, to reflect the vox populi.
First of all - "they don't apply any great passion to their task", "slightly stilted" - how dare you, Brian? Don't you ever talk about my dad that way again. Andy Zaltzman has so much passion that the only way he can detonate it safely is if he wraps it in like 18 layers of irony for protection.
...It's fine, don't worry, I know that Andy Zaltzman's not really my dad. Kind of. Okay, there might be a bit of confusion on the issue, because my visceral "fuck you" reaction to criticism of him is probably a bit over the top, especially if you take into account that "slightly stilted" is at best an accurate description of Andy Zaltzman, and at worst an understatement. "Awkward as fuck" might be more correct. 00s-era John Oliver was also pretty fucking awkward, and Andy Zaltzman made John Oliver look like [insert name of some very smooth and charismatic celebrity here, I can't be bothered to think of one].
I don't think their double act was stilted, though obviously I didn't see whatever night in 2004 when Brian Logan graced them with his presence. I think that double act is the only thing about Andy Zaltzman that isn't stilted. The way he and John Oliver can play off each other without missing a beat - John Oliver's the only person who has good chemistry with Andy "Awkward as fuck" Zaltzman, but Zaltzman/Oliver is maybe the best comedy chemistry I've ever heard. So shut up, Brian. Don't talk about my dad.
Steve Bennett and his opinions. I tend to agree with Bennett's opinions more often than with Logan's, but I definitely agree with Brian Logan's approach to basic editing more than I agree with Steve Bennett's (I know my own blog is full of typos, but I'm just a hobbyist, I get to hold the professional opinions to a higher standard).
There's a lot to admire in the comedy Andy Zaltzman and John Oliver peddle. Considering politics in terms of huge global issues, rather than simple Bush-bashing, they skilfully condense big ideas into silly jokes or slapstick sketches. At their inspired best, their writing verges on the magnificent; with perfect, pointed gags that penetrate all the liberal blether to hit right to the heart. Yet somehow I didn't enjoy this show as much as I wanted to, with the density of ideas and occasional verbosity diluting the undeniably fine material on offer.
I do find that part pretty funny. I got the same sense from both reviews, that it could boil down to: "Well, they write funny stuff, it's good material, but I just don't like the guys. They're really annoying. They can write good jokes, but why do they have to be so annoying about it?"
There's an unnecessary drive-by shot at Kitson later in the review, which I also find funny:
They work well together, which should be no surprise given their solo work covers similar themes with similar sensitivities. Daniel Kitson is drafted in to help with some additional roles, including the voices of God, as if to fit his ego, and a Europhile croissant taking part in a Trisha-style showdown with Oliver's barking mad British Empire.
Hey! Come on, Steve, what did Daniel Kitson ever do to you? You're supposed to be talking about how annoying Zaltzman and Oliver are, and then there's a side-swipe at Kitson's ego. Though to be fair, he's not wrong, as that was part of the joke. I've heard the Zaltzman and Oliver sketch where he plays God, and there are inside jokes in it for anyone familiar with Kitson's career, who will understand why it's a bit on the nose to have him literally play God. The version I've heard was from 2011, though, I didn't realize they were doing the Kitson-as-God joke back in 2004. Actually, I didn't realize Kitson was in this at all in 2004, I thought Zaltzman and Oliver played all the roles themselves back then and they just brought Kitson in for the special reunion performance in 2011. Apparently not.
In other gags, the audience has to join some of the dots themselves, adding an extra satisfaction to the jokes. There are a smattering of comedy in-jokes for the cognoscenti, too, not to mention a few for the football fans to add to the richness of the material. In a swelling sea of topical comics, these two stand out for their intelligence and their lofty ambitions. In short, they are Britain's best hopes for the future of satire, their complex ideas becoming increasingly accessible year after year.
Yep, that sounds like them. Football references, comedy in-jokes, intelligent and putting extra stuff in there for the audience members who can find it. That's high praise for a show you didn't enjoy as much as you wanted to, Bennett. You must have found them really annoying to have struggled to enjoy them despite the material having all that.
To be fair, "better writers than performers" could also sound like them, if you define "good performer" as someone who's remotely smooth and charismatic, which I do not. Anyway, feel free to take things from the folder I linked above, if you are interested in hearing some excellent writers and mixed review-generating annoying performers embody the spirit of Radio 4 for a few years.
18 notes · View notes
mouthpiece-simp · 2 years
Note
I’d love to see some Multislacker x Reader stuff, you make the best headcanons and I don’t see a lot of them for Cathal.
Multislacker x Reader Headcanons
This guy is my guilty pleasure a little bit, I feel like I'm suppose to hate him but he's just got that odd charm to him anyways.
📺You'd been friends with Cathal for a while, and the two of you would usually just watch TV all day. If he was feeling really energetic, Cathal might have a conversation longer than 5 minutes with you.
📺So one day you just casually confess to him and he's too lazy to deal with the fallout of rejecting you {or at least that was his reasoning he gave to you, he actually had a crush on you lol} he decided to start dating you.
📺Your first date? Having a picnic! ...In his little 'office.' What, did you think he'd actually commute somewhere? He's too lazy for that. He was almost too lazy to get off his chair and sit on the floor with you, but you managed to convince him to.
📺Your second date? You played video games together. He only liked the idle games where he didn't have to move his hands around so much.
📺And so on...
📺Cathal always has a sandwich ready for you when you come to visit him that he surprisingly made himself! It's just [meat/meat substitute] and cheese, but it's a nice gesture.
📺Sometimes he also has gifts for you... store bought, of course, since he wouldn't put in the effort to make something. But they're always like really nice and expensive because his dad kinda lets him buy just about whatever he wants.
📺Speaking of the VP, he knows Cathal is dating somebody. He just doesn't know it's a toon... so when he gives his son advice he doesn't realize he's also basically condoning a toon and Cog relationship. Lol.
📺Want literally anything? Cathal will buy it or hire someone to do it for you. New TV, need to move stuff around your house, doesn't matter. He'll throw money around like it's nothing if it means helping you.
📺Cathal's love languages are mostly just spending time together and also a little bit of physical affection, but he's too lazy for anything more than cuddling and kissing.
📺He will fall asleep during cuddles a lot and basically refuses to let go of you while he's asleep.
📺Sometimes he also mumbles random stuff in his sleep. Most recently it was, "I saw a flying mashed potato jellyfish special." He did not know what the flying mashed potato jellyfish special was when he woke up.
📺If you're ever upset about anything, he will erm... come up with his own solutions. Be it greening toons who made you upset or convincing his dad to tell another department head that one of their employees was [insert really bad lie here to get them fired] because they greened you or literally anything in-between, he will come up with some sort of solution to your problems.
📺He definitely doesn't look or seem the type, but. Yeah he doesn't let anyone mess with you because you're special and deserve special treatment.
📺He really wants to spend time with you outside his office, so eventually he agrees to go to your estate... by getting a ride from some goons. He still seems exhausted when he arrives and only wants to sleep while cuddling you. When he finally wakes up, he's too lazy to get out of bed and spends the next several hours just cuddling you until he has to go back to Sellbot HQ {of course, on goon-back ride}. He had a great time though and will make it a periodic occurrence.
📺Your estate is now swarming with goons and Cog security systems that Cathal insisted get installed. Now if someone tried to break into your estate, they'd be dealt with by Cogs...
📺Speaking of Cogs, Sellbots basically refuse to hurt you now because Cathal got a memo out to the Sellbots {except his dad, of course}. But all that chatter among employees about the memo from Mr. Bravecog's son not to harm a specific toon made the VP put two and two together, and well... he didn't know what to think at first. But when he saw how happy his son was with you, he decided to leave the two of you be {he will try to use it as a selling point to the Toon Resistance later, but that's for another time}.
📺Now you basically have free reign over Sellbot HQ because neither you nor the Sellbots care to hurt each other. Cathal would be upset and get his dad involved if his memo wasn't followed, and the VP would be upset with you if you hurt one of his Cogs after they literally ceased fire on you. It makes visiting your boyfriend a LOT easier, though.
📺Give him headpats. He loves it!
📺Overall I just imagine the whole relationship being really chill and laid back where you don't really do anything and everything's peaceful {unless someone upsets you}.
43 notes · View notes