#especially chronically online people (including me lmao)

[otamotone-dnp]

I checked you will get through this night out from the library and I’m really proud of dan. yeah I’m just now getting around to reading it aksksk but as someone who works in mental health, it’s got some really good stuff in it so far

[9w1ft]

Hi. Maybe this is a bit too personal. I don't know. I'm being forced into a context in which I'm going to be surrounded by antis. I know some of them are just genuinely believing the official story. And some of them just think "Taylor would never be a dirty gay", whether they're aware that's their motivation or not.

And it... sucks. I wanted to ask you. When you're emotionally upset, what helps you? How do you deal? Do you have a strategy? Advice? I'm tired lately and the stuff that I usually could weather affects me more. And I don't know how to handle it, this time. It's not about Taylor. It's not even specifically about homophobia. It's just about when you feel like if this was a movie this would be the time for the crying on the couch montage, you know ?

I hope it's okay that I asked this.

i went a little freeform with my answer, i hope you don’t mind! also this is what i do but i really think that it’s gonna depend on who you are as an individual (your personality etc). hopefully some parts resonate for you though! and i hope some people share in the comments their thoughts as well because it’s a feeling we have all shared.

i’m writing this assuming by antis you mean you will be in mixed company with people that strongly believe taylor is Not Gay, though somehow i get similarly impassioned when it comes to other groups of people on this venn diagram.

there was a certain time on my journey here where i came to the conclusion that each person will have to find their way to taylor’s truth on their own, and for some people it’s just going to take far longer. and so i try to sit back and appreciate how rare it is and how happy i am to have come to this conclusion at this point in my life.

i remember during lover era, specifically after the yntcd video came out, even seeing a few choice swiftie accounts with a heavily anti edge (accounts known for sending and directing hate to lowercase g gaylors) suddenly begin backpedaling a bit and even making room in their words for the interpretation that she might like women in addition to men.

it was such a wild time… and it gave us a peek, i think, into how things might unfold more completely… someday…

personally i think that scene in miss americana, the one where she talks about the parade in ME! including everything that makes her her, like ***gay pride*** , is all the unequivocal information you need to understand that you are on the right side of history on this one.

with the advent of tiktok, and seeing various young lgbt voices talk about how it’s kind of ingenious how taylor managed to come out only to the people who want to hear it, has given me a sense of hope that this process is long but it’s one that’s moving toward a day when we won’t have to find ourselves in so many of the situations that you describe.

of course it hasn’t been a simple path… we had the back and forth situation with betty, for example, and other moments which have felt like one step forward two steps back. it does hurt, especially when the people you talk about having to hang out with are people you consider your peers or even friends. to feel such a dissonance with people who on other levels you might consider sisters or friends with otherwise shared values.

i myself have revealed too much of my thinking to a few real people in my life and while none of them are anti per-se, i have had to handle looking like a chronically online person to some of those that i love. but i’ve found ways to brush it off and make it a running joke. pulling out the old scooby doo villain voice and going “just you all wait! one day i *will* be vindicated” or like “yeah lmao it’s my one unhealthy preoccupation and it’s AMAZING” or “these are my problematic faves yes, and what are yours??” in other words i try to own it.

but if you’re in one of those situations where you just want to go incognito, or for those teary main character moments on the couch with a glass of whisky or wine, what i have found works for me is taking solace in the notion that you’re on to *something* with this, and that this is something that’s not only special, but has affected your life in positive ways. maybe it’s expanded the way you’ve thought about the world, or maybe it has given you moments of wonder or awe, or motivation to go out there and contribute a little bit more to society in hopes for a brighter future. i know all these things sound abstract but i think it’s important to find ways to treasure what *gestures broadly* all this has meant for you on your life path. beautify it in your mind.

not to turn this into a “maybe kaylor was about the friends we made along the way” type of sentiment but i for one am super grateful for many of the friendships that have come out of this, that have really enriched my adult life. i’ve also become more observant and overall just more agile at finding commonalities and connecting things and in some ways it’s made me a more efficient and creative person in my profession. my views on life and love and marriage and other big ticket concepts have also been enriched by everything that has transpired. when i’m down in the dumps about something or a lack of something i try and find these kinds of things to be grateful for, and it centers me and i find a happiness there. it’s a happy mess.

this is what i found works for me anyways.

[logicheartsoul]

fanfic writer asks

I think this was originally an ask meme but I don't mind doing this like Mak and answering all of 'em like a survey. So here's my answers!

Tagged by: @bisamwilson

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 11 2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 16,264 3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? Several, like at least 10 though in my wips that might add up a bit more 4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? scars; they will not fade, but its power lessens over time (222) The Skant (193) All Things (141) Waiting Is Sweet (If You Can Make The Time) (107) Savior (103) 5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? That's posted or that's in my wips? Coz most of the fics posted on my tumblr or AO3 are not that angsty (well, for my angst standards). However, I do have a couple of fics in my wips that are angsty, especially one technically dealing with a main character death, so... 6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? Uh... Let me get back to you on that. 7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written? Actually I do, and I find crossovers very fun, if for the "what if these set of people meet" or "what if these people were in this universe" type thing. I think the craziest one I've written has to be the Yu Yu Hakusho/Stargate Atlantis one, so far. 8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, I do, though some of it hasn't been published online even if it's finished, mostly shared to friends on Discord lmao (I really should upload them.) I've written m/f, m/m, and f/f fic and also various configurations of ot3 pairings, and while I haven't put them online, a fair amount of kink as well. 9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not? Yeah, I do, and usually try to be timely about it but sometimes I'll forget or not have the energy to. I like responding to what people have said and it's nice to see their comments on my work! 10. Have you ever received hate on a fic? Like specific hate? No. I did however get some hateful comments from some asshole in 2016 who was going around making these homophobic comments for fics in the ship tag, including to some very new writers who were publishing their first fics, and I ended up making a PSA post about it when it happened. The asshole went to literally 15-20 fics with similar types of comments and sometimes engaged back in a comment thread, it was a fucking mess lol 11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of, however I've had gifs and fanart/edits stolen from me, more than once. Not fun. 12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, I probably would cry if someone wanted to though. 13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes and sadly it's unfinished but it was a lot of fun! 14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? ...I am a chronic multishipper so this question is extremely hard lmao 15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I have a WIP problem so there's various fics that fit this category (including the co-written fics mentioned above). 16. What are your writing strengths? People have said that my writing is kind of poetic, and I admit sometimes it does, and I try to be good about word economy and sometimes that comes through in my fics. I think I'm fairly good at dialogue too. 17. What are your writing weaknesses? At this point, probably just finishing a longfic lmao I know that's partially one of those "you gotta pace yourself, stamina" things but yeah 18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? I actually don't mind it, and I’m actually kinda proficient in a couple of languages for it to work. I think though, if the point is for the character to not understand something, but to have readers who do understand a glimpse of a character or plot or etc, writers should try to put some kind of translation in the story whether it's in the author's notes or somehow in the text. Same thing for dialogue. If they don't want to translate in text OR in the author's notes, the meaning should be subtextually clear though, otherwise, just write something like "said in [x language]". 19. What was the first fandom you wrote for? ...that was so long ago I can't remember, it was back in elementary school. 20. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? My ABSOLUTE favorite??? This is like picking a favorite color or something.

Tagging: Whoever feels like it :D

[juuls]

Pharmacist/Me = 1 🏆 Doctor/Nursing Staff = 0

Thank you in advance for reading this rant. I’ve been really frustrated and just needed to get this off my chest, and today at least I had a wonderful knight in a white lab coat. 🩺❤️‍🩹🥽🥼💪🏻

Content warnings and squicky squicks: (further down there is) an image of a medical vial with a clipped image of a more benign part of a syringe, health conditions (endometriosis, fibromyalgia), menstrual cycles and associated terms such as bleeding and other things, lack of empathy in my specific healthcare system, hysterectomies, pain, swearing and losing patience. Most important warning: self-administered syringes and injection discussions of legal medications (Depo-Provera) approved of by professionals and properly researched. P.S. this may sound rather Karen-like but I would never do this to someone’s face. Online ranting and acknowledging where I could do better is not the same as screaming in public for bossy requests or comps, etc. Ew.

Another ‘warning’… pharmacists being kick-ass allies and giving a damn about their patients.

I’m really annoyed because (and I know healthcare and scheduling is a clusterfuck right now, but…) for over a month now I’ve been trying to get an appointment in person to get this injectable medication that is, yes, birth control, but is also used for endometriosis in my case. And I have severe endometriosis (exacerbated severely by fibromyalgia, siiiiigh) to the point I bleed enough and lose so much I have to go to the hospital when my care is not properly preventative… like in this case, and the pain is unbelievably severe also to the point I’ve spent time in the hospital, including my 11th Christmas Eve and Day. I started this injectable medication at 13 because it was the only thing that came close to helping reduce my endometrial tissue. Even a hysterectomy wouldn’t help as much, unless they decided to go the super invasive route and remove all the organs (or parts of them) that had become ‘infected’ by the tissue. Again, tissue where it’s not supposed to be, and it causes extreme pain as the tissue tries to flush out of my body each period, even if it’s attached to, like, my pancreas. Just no. That does not work at all. No. That is not fun.

SO. I’m 31, nearing 32, and the doctor’s office knows this. I’ve had the same doctor since I was 10. Been on this medication nearly non-stop for just shy of two decades (with appropriate precautions such as bone density tests) because of the absolute severity of the pain and my inability to function when it hits… which can be months at a time of non-stop bleeding and morning sickness-level nausea and vomiting, migraines and the occasional complete inability to move—in other words, it’s debilitating.

My doctor (even the nurses, as it’s in large print at the top of my file in the system) knows all about this. They’re supposed to call me if I’m overdue by a certain margin (I get they’re busy but months and months???). But my doc’s also a bit of an airhead (albeit a smart one when he focuses) and takes forever to reply to anything on time, even when it’s a severe issue, but not severe enough to go to the hospital. But it’s gotten to the point where the nurses say to go to the ER and then the ER nurses and doctors there get SUPER pissed off (AT ME AND SOMEHOW NOT AT MY DOCTOR/NURSES AND THEIR ORDERS) at the ‘waste of time’, and it’s just a clusterfuck.

Oh yeah, and that ER visit while I was overdue for my injection? Internal intestinal bleeding along with a lovely, even if small, perforation in my fucking uterus from the growth of endometrial tissue. I MEAN COME ON — WHAT IN THE HELL. Totally preventable if they fit me in when I called literally over a month ago.

But I will not change my doctor (the other docs at the practice know what is going on and have offered to take me on, but they don’t have the experience with myself and my conditions or the history, but they can do little else because of professional conduct—it’s between myself and my doc) because he is the only one who treats me with humanity and understands fibromyalgia, endometriosis, pre-MS and pre-RhA/PsA, endo-related IBS, (ulcerative) colitis, and other neurological conditions with any degree of empathy. (See, I told you I’m a mess!) There is no way I’m switching offices in the perpetual shortage of doctors in Canada moving elsewhere for m o n e y (plus Covid-19 being a teen hooligan and constantly coming back to wreck more goddamn shit, including everyone’s sanity, then setting things on fire like the real hooligans in my village have been doing this summer — I mean… what in the hell!?!?), so with all that in mind I actually thank my lucky stars. So I put up with a lot of this shit because he treats me, besides him being an airhead, like an actual human being deserving of compassion and care and quality of life despite my severe disabilities and pain. So.

I’m usually treated really well (even if they often think I’m a nuisance for daring to be severely chronically ill/in pain all the time) so I try to be patient and good and understanding when I can.

But his STAFF (I know they’re busy and I’ve been patient but they’ve been so awful honestly to the point I cried hard enough my dad noticed my red eyes and frustration-tear fracks on my face)! And the doc himself’s inability to reply to notes on time even when urgent and when he knows the circumstances (I admit I am a bit of a hard patient so I can understand if he just kinda ignores me sometimes, honestly). But in this case I was THREE DAMN MONTHS LATE for my injection and they’ve always called in the past when I was coming due if it looked like I hadn’t scheduled an injection, so that I was all on time and squared away and didn’t risk severe pain and damage to my already-fucked hormonal system (learning I couldn’t have kids was absolutely heartbreaking, let me tell you, but even a hysterectomy in that case would solve nothing — this is by far the easiest option, especially considering how my fibromyalgia would fuck with my post-surgery recovery and leave me with lasting pain for years if not decades; sigh).

Anyway. So. After some ridiculous levels of back and forth and some truly remarkable levels of lack of compassion (she kept giving me the exact same, word for word response in a bored tone UGH) considering the severe pain I was in (I was told, in front of OTHER PATIENTS AND STAFF, that I could just wait until I talk to the doctor myself at my next phone appointment and then schedule my injection for my next MONTHLY followup — 4.5 months overdue at that point, it would’ve been — because, and I quote, ‘am used to dealing with pain because of my fibromyalgia and years of dealing with it and other conditions’ which they named in front of others!!!!!!!! what. the. fuck. But I kept my cool because I know all these people, my mom taught their kids music, they’re a fixture of the community, etc. and I refuse to be a Karen…. At least externally.

But here comes the nice part that makes me love our new (okay, he’s been here like 5 years but still, in a small town that’s pretty new lmao) pharmacist that much more. Rasik was aware of my frustration with the doctor and nurses and was even the one who brought to my attention that, at the time, I was 2 months late for my injection and he was a bit concerned since he’s privy to how much pain I exist in without throwing in one or more knives directly into my womb, ovaries, tummy, hips, and other areas my endometrial tissue has taken root. He’s such a sweetheart and he really does care for his patients— the work he does with my father’s diabetes (the tricky one where you’re not obese) management is above and beyond the call of a pharmacist and I will forever be grateful for that alone, never mind how he cares for me.

So I went in today to pick up another medication, after yet another frustrating stop-over at the nurses’ desks, and he suggested I ask for my injectable medication (it’s Depo-Provera, by the way) and the syringe plus the two tips necessary — I’m actually familiar with this since I had to learn epinephrine injections from an early age (not Epipen) and how to give testosterone daily to my ex-husband (sorry not sorry, dude, but congrats on your first kid *grouchy thumbs up*). But yeah! Legally he’s not allowed to suggest I give it to myself, but he was getting super fed up with the nurses and doctors dragging their feet and ‘being assholes with little empathy’ in his own words, so I took the hint and requested my vial plus syringe, as well as the drawing and injection gauge needles…. which he gleefully filled for me, and I reiterated that it was ‘fully my idea, not yours, Rasik, because everyone knows I’m dumb and would never think it’s you if something happened’ (I’m not dumb and I’ve given injections to others many times looool).

Long story short: HERE’S TO PHARMACISTS AROUND THE WORLD, BEING AMAZING AND CARING FOR THEIR PATIENTS AND ‘BENDING BUT NOT REALLY BENDING’ THE RULES TO MAKE SURE THEIR CLIENTS ARE CARED FOR PROPERLY. They are amazing and deserve every last bit of your courtesy, especially when they pull double duty every. single. day. because of Covid and their subsequent boosters. (i.e. boosters in the form of humans who are fucking stupid if they have no medical reason not to get the vaccine… I mean JFC.)

Rasik? You are amazing and I am 100% going to find you some Indian-Canadian (or North Indian; I believe that’s where he’s from originally) treats or desserts or make some myself after slyly asking his assistant what he leans toward liking.

Be kind to one another, yeah, but… my goodness: be kind to those who can truly make a difference in your health, sanity, and even life or death.

Pharmacists, volunteers, and frontline health workers: the true heroes of these times.

Thank you so much. So very much.

💜💙🇨🇦👨🏽‍⚕️❤️‍🩹🙏🏻

P.S. … now I just gotta stab myself intramuscularly after making sure there’s no air bubbles and etc., and swap out to the proper gauge needle (different, smaller, to draw from the vial, larger to inject so that it goes in more quickly and, oddly enough, hurts less haha). I don’t think air bubbles are as much of an issue as when injecting intravenously (ummm I have a doctor uncle and grandma nurse and nurse friends, so shush 😆). But I’ve done this for others and animals so I should be good! :)

I’m a smart enough cookie even if I’ve lost a few nibble-size pieces around the edges. 😉😘 buahaha

Cheers to my pharmacist!!!! You are amazing and I can’t wait for the pain and months and months of bleeding to settle down.

Remind me again why humans are the only mammals (animals?) with monthly fluxes? UGH wtf ever. 🙃

[earthstellar]

INTERVIEW: Transformers lore and characters as discussed with my 74 year old mother

Backstory: I talk about fandom stuff a lot with my mom (she’s one of the original Star Trek fangirls so she knows her fandom shit lmao) and recently I’ve been discussing Transformers with her. 

Me and my mom are very open with each other, and we have some interesting fandom conversations. 

Here are some lines from a recent call with her that I thought might be interesting, regarding Transformers stuff and especially some interesting elderly person perspective on Ratchet. There’s also some talk of the theology in Transformers lore, including Drift and Spectralism, and a bunch of other stuff too.

All conversations transcribed from a recent Skype call, with my mom’s permission.

M is my mom, Me is just me-- So that you can tell who’s talking, lol. When other real people are mentioned, their names are redacted and replaced with an X for privacy. 

Getting Started:

Me: Okay, there are a lot of younger fans for Transformers who might be interested in this kind of discussion, but I don’t see a lot of these conversations saved and shared anywhere, so if you don't mind I want to share some of your reactions to learning about Transformers stuff. 

M: That’s okay, very professional of you to ask! The internet is a job now, I guess. I’m being interviewed, fancy. 

On Ratchet’s Age/Health and older people in media:

Me: Ratchet’s the medic, he’s an old guy. Older than a lot of the other bots. In the comics (MTMTE/LL) he has a chronic illness and he eventually passes away from either that or complications related to it, although we don’t see it happen on the page. It made everyone sad; He’s a fan favourite. 

M: I know how that feels, getting old and dying! I had years of thyroid symptoms before they had to take it out, I had endometriosis and they told me I couldn't have you, it’s an unsure thing. Now I’ve had skin cancers removed, I have too much potassium in my blood, I have fibromyalgia. I never expected to live this long. 

Everyone is really just guessing at health stuff. It’s ironic that the doctor couldn’t diagnose himself, but I think he probably knew what was wrong and couldn't bring himself to accept it. Old people might accept that we can’t do some things any more but we tend to be depressed about it. Nobody really copes with it very well, you know X had a stroke and now she’s aphasic, can’t speak anymore, can’t read anymore, and she used to be a nurse. She’s older than I am, but it’s sad. She’s so smart and clever, and we’re just old. It’s what happens. 

I bet Ratchet was scared. As a doctor, he’d know what can happen when you get old and decrepit. I think he was in denial, a lot of old guys seem to be like that. 

Me: He was the medical lead on their ship, the Lost Light. I think you’re right and he wanted to be functional for as long as possible; He wants to be helpful and his job is his life. It would be hard for him; He struggles with retirement in the comics. 

M: Sounds about right. I’m old as hell and I still work! Although that’s mostly because we all need money to live, and not so much because anybody wants to have a job at this age, but still. If he liked his job, he wouldn’t want to be pushed out. I loved working at the park; When I had to quit, it was devastating, but I didn’t really have a choice. 

By the way, the audiobooks you sent me for X have really made her happy, she can read again, sort of! So thanks for that.

Me: I’m glad the audiobooks I sent you helped!

M: They have, you’re a life saver! 

Me: I’m just glad they’re useful for her! 

I think it’s interesting that his age is a part of his character in terms of personality and story arc; Do you enjoy seeing older characters in media that reflect the realities of age and being old, even when it’s difficult or possibly depressing? 

M: Yes! There aren’t a lot of old characters, and the ones that are out there are mostly just joke characters or you never see them too often. I think the creators must think that old people don’t watch TV or anything, but the reason we don’t tune in is because everything is all about young people, and that can be hard. Watching people run around when you can’t anymore can be painful for those of us who have lost that ability now that we’re elderly, or watching kid-focused stuff can make us miss our families. 

It would be nice to see old characters that are included and are competent. 

Me: Representation is important. 

M: Yes. 

On Religion in Transformers: 

Me: So, you work in a church. Just pointing it out so readers know where we’re coming from on this. 

M: Yep, Episcopalian on the beach here, a small church. Services are mostly online due to COVID so I’ve lost hours on Friday, unfortunately... But I’m not complaining. 

Me: And we both like the more spiritual lore type of content, it’s some good shit. 

M: Always love seeing ancient Gods in space! 

Me: So, there’s another old guy character, Alpha Trion, who’s a kind of sage-like mentor to Optimus Prime. 

M: Optimus! He’s the truck! Everyone knows him, he’s the main guy. 

Me: Yep! So Alpha Trion is an archivist, and when Optimus Prime was younger, depending on what version of the story we look at, he also used to be an archivist. 

M: Librarian truck! 

Me: Yes! 

M: I love it. You worked at a library for a little bit. 

Me: That work placement was the best, loved it. But Alpha Trion, depending on which version of the lore we look at, is hinted to be one of the formative deity-entities on their home planet, Cybertron. 

M: Cybertroooooon. Haha! Good robot planet name. I’m into this so far, very cool.

Me: It is! And Alpha Trion is sort of the living memory of the early days of their planet and civilisation, but nobody knows. Everyone just thinks he’s a kind of cryptic weird old guy. 

M: Relatable. I like this concept.

Me: It’s pretty good. So generally, things vary a lot from version to version of the story, but there are usually a handful of beings, early Transformers, who make up the character of their ancient lore. These are called the Primes, named after Primus, who pretty much always is depicted as their main God. Like Zeus, or Odin. 

M: Very cool. Optimus is a Prime! 

Me: Right! In a few versions of the story, he is the final Prime essentially reincarnated. The Thirteenth Prime. 

M: That’s very cool. 

Me: And in some other stories, Prime is mostly purely a title that has political connotations as well; It gets into a sort of weird Divine Right kind of area to help underscore some of the problems in their planetary political structure that led to the conflict that eventually became their civil war. 

M: That sucks, but unfortunately, also relatable. It’s very real world, especially right now. It’s interesting how Transformers is so incredibly in depth; I never would have guessed from the cartoon ads that were on TV when you were little. 

Me: Yeah, they seem to hide a lot of the lore, which is a shame. The comics are more adult than most of the TV shows, I think you’d like them. 

M: Sounds like it. I love the spiritual robot stuff. 

Me: In the comics, there is a religious practice called Spectralism that you might really like. They see auras by filtering different light wave bandwidths through their optics in order to detect mood, and all the colours have meanings assigned to them. They change their paint colours in accordance with those colour meanings as well, on some occasions. Meditation is part of the practice. One of the transformers, Drift, had at least one vision; It’s hinted there might be more to Spectralism, but we don’t see all that much of it in any further detail, unfortunately. They also believe in Primus as a deity. 

M: It’s a shame they don’t elaborate more on it. It sounds very cool, like the stuff we were doing in the sixties and seventies. I bet Drift has some black light posters in his room, we had tons of them. Loved the velvet ones. 

Me: He does have an altar, I think. Or a least a prayer area, it’s mentioned he meditates fairly frequently, from what I remember. 

M: (Starts singing Smoke on the Water by Deep Purple) That was the best, put some tunes on... Good driving music, too! 

On Femme Transformers and Sexism in Sci-Fi: 

Me: So there are some lady Transformers, too! 

M: Ooh! 

Me: There’s Arcee, who is the pink one you probably remember from the ads or the cartoons, and in the comics she’s officially transgender. 

M: Excellent! Trans-formers. Good. 

Me: Yes! And there’s not just her, there’s Nautica and Velocity in the comics as well, plus Elita-One... (I showed her pictures of each.) 

M: I like Velocity. I love the teal, the Thunderbird on the back is excellent. 

Me: I like Velocity, too. 

M: Elita has the head cones, not sure how I feel about that. She’s also pink, it’s hard to keep track of them all. I like Arcee, she has the Princess Leia hair helmet! 

Me: I figured you’d like that. It’s pretty good. 

M: I like Arcee and Velocity the best so far. 

Me: There’s quite a few female or femme transformers now. There didn't used to be, and there were some mistakes made here and there, but nowadays there’s a much wider cast. 

M: That’s good, I’m surprised, but in a good way. There were never women main characters in sci-fi stuff when I was a kid, it’s why Star Trek was such a big deal, and even then, it wasn’t all that great. There was Uhura, Nurse Chapel, but there were a lot of weird episodes...

Me: I love the Romulan Commander, though. 

M: She was the best! Wished we got to see her more. 

Me: Me too. But in Transformers, they’re doing a good job with the female coded characters, as least as far as I’ve seen.

M: That’s good to know. I’m glad that exists for girls who want to play Transformers, too. It always seemed like such a macho thing, the way they advertised it. 

Me: Yeah, that’s still a problem to some degree, but I remember it being way more aggressively worse in the 80s/90s. 

M: It was worse in the 50s when I was a kid! Cooking sets were the girl toy. They made Star Trek for boys, but when all the girls ended up being the main demographic that watched it, they cancelled it. It was Lucy from I Love Lucy who brought it back, I remember you told me that! 

Me: Yep!

M: I’m glad little girls have Arcee. And little boys. They’re robots, they don’t have gender! 

Me: Exactly! 

--

If this kind of interview/conversation excerpt type thing is interesting to anyone, we’re happy to keep doing it! 

Give me questions or things to ask my mom, she’s happy to give you some “old lady perspective”, lmao. ❤️ 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #303

“if i can’t be loved, then i’ll be hated”

What color are your glasses, if applicable? Black. Candy corn or conversation hearts? They're both gross, don't make me pick between garbage. Do you own a lot of earrings? Not really after I weeded them out before moving. What did your backpack in high school look like? I dare say I had the dopest backpack of them all. It looked like a massive Ouija board, and the zipper was the planchet (sp?). Have you ever been to a rave? Nah. What is your favorite art medium? I have a particular fondness of oil paintings. They tend to look so smooth, and you can achieve incredible realism with them. How far away is the nearest hospital from you? Not even five minutes, I think. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital? My mom. What is your favorite car color? Pink, duh. How did you learn to type? We actually had a class specifically for typing in middle school. What style of wedding dress do you want? I don't have that set in stone yet, but I really do love ballgown dresses with long trains as well as a-lines with a moderate train. I love a lot, except really for mermaid dresses. Do you fit into any stereotype, or are you non-stereotypical? I don't know if I fit perfectly into any and really don't care. Would you want your first child to have your hair color? ???? I don't care about their hair lol?????? It would depend on the hypothetical father, in which case I'd probably find it cute, but this is so, so unimportant. Do you enjoy writing in cursive? Yeah, it just feels good and flowy to me. What is your favorite hair color? Natural? Probably blonde with natural darker undertones throughout. I like blonde hair because it's far easier to dye, haha. Now, if we're including DYED hair, rose gold or pastel pink is *chefs kiss* What is your favorite eye color? Sapphire blue, probz. Would you put your birthday on a different day if you could? Nah, it's fine where it is. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Valentine's. Do you vent on social media a lot? NOOOOOOOO. I barely post ANYTHING about myself on social media because I feel like I'm being annoying, self-absorbed, find anything I do actually interesting, or don't want people to think I'm a whiner. All I ever really do on social media is share or reblog funny shit, things I love, stuff I find relatable or inspirational, educational, important for whatever reason, etc... Do you have abusive parents? I am very thankful to say no. Is your house haunted? Doesn't seem like it. What's your favorite thing to watch on YouTube? I'm in a real WoW-related phase lately... Watching my favorite streamers, gold farming guides, and other various aspects of the game. What are five health problems that you have? I talk about the mental issues enough, so I guess I'll talk about physical stuff here. Uhhh I have very low blood pressure (it's a med side effect), I have extremely weak legs following muscle atrophy, I have bad tremors, especially in my hands (amplified by medication once again), maybe TMI but we're adults here and it's a legit issue that I have chronic and severe conspitation, aaaand then of course I have hyperhidrosis (excessive sweating) to a fucking outrageous and also humiliating degree. Ooooonce again as a prescription side effect. This answer made meds sound kinda bad, I know, but really, I'd rather have the will to live and just have to deal with these than want to die everyday and not. Do you have surgery coming up? No, let's keep it that way until I lose enough weight and when I am 110% getting loose skin removal. Which family member(s) do you look the most like? My sisters, ig. People say my mom also, but I honestly don't see it. Have you ever cried while watching a YouTube video? Yeah, usually just in let's plays, but it's happened for other reasons. Are you missing a website that just shut down? Nah, none that I know of. NO. FUCKING WAIT. So, when my laptop was fixed, a LOT of shit was wiped from it, and that included all of my goddamn Lightroom editing presets. The site they were from no longer exists, so I had to use a different, pretty sub-par one to install at least a few because it helps me get a start on editing the photograph and leaning towards the "vibe" I want before spending like 15+ minutes tuning it myself. Would you be a barefoot bride? No. Which would you rather name your daughter: Eliana, Echo, Emerald, or Ellery? Ohhh, I like these. I think I prefer "Eliana," but "Echo" is a close second. "Ellery" is nice, but it sounds too much like "celery" to name my kid that lmao. Which would you rather name your son: Maverick, Matthew, or Moses? Ugh, none, honestly. But "Matthew" wins. When was the last time you gave a speech? Like a *legit" speech? Probably not since uhhh... I guess when I argued my disability case at court? Does that even count? Have you ever been in a stampede? Well, never seen this'n in a survey before, so good job, lol. No. If you were a fairy, what color would you like your wings to be? It would depend on what I wore, really. And my hair. But probably light pink. Would you rather name your son Storm, Skylar, Sorin, or Solomon? "Sorin." "Skylar" is SO Southern, and "Solomon" sounds like the creepy kid all his classmates avoid and I ain't putting my kid through that. Did you read a devotional this morning? Not my jam. Would you rather be named Arizona, Alaska, Cali, or Georgia? Hm... "Alaska" is actually kinda cool???? And I'm white as fuck so lol????? I wouldn't mind to nickname of "Ally," anyway. Are you repulsed by ugly reptiles? lololol bro get out Did all your friends know about your first crush or was it a secret? I was definitely secretive and shy about it when I first started getting crushes. Do you ever feel insecure about going out without makeup? I feel insecure either way, so... How many different natural hair colors are there in your immediate family? So, this is a hard question to answer. My mom was born with brown hair, but it darkened to almost black; only her daughter Katie inherited that. By some genetic magic, Dad had blond hair as a kid, but it also turned black. Like... how?????? I was born with dirty blonde hair like him, and mine turned an average brown with age. My immediate sisters have always had brown hair. What is your favorite online game? World of Warcraft is ballin'. Would you ever want to be famous and sign autographs? Ha, the idea of signing autographs is awful... I can't physically write very long without my carpal tunnel flaring up. Do you like your shirt to be loose or tight? LOOSE. Especially as a bigger person, tight shirts are just really uncomfortable. What is your favorite Spanish name? I don't know nearly enough to answer this. Would you rather visit Asia or Europe? I think Asia is, in general, more interesting and prettier as a whole, but I guess I'm drawn to European culture being more like my own and there are specific locations I'm interested in, like Germany or Scotland. So to answer the question, I guess Europe wins. Are there any Asians in your family? I don't believe so. Have you ever had colored braces? Haha yeah, I did that when I had them. Do you take birth control pills? Yes, just for period cramps. Without them, they can be immobilizing for me. If you live in the USA: do you feel free and safe? Ha, no. Well, not *entirely*. Have you ever been sick on your birthday? I was recovering from the stomach virus, if that counts. As in I still got sick the day before and felt iffy on my actual bday. 17th, I think? Is talking about your past painful for you? Yes. Are you a member of any support groups online? I'm a member of The Mighty site, if that counts. When I'm feeling very, very sound of mind and helpful without all the negativity being a detriment to myself, I do like going on there and trying to help or comfort people. Have you ever called a suicide hotline? Yes, and the line was busy, and that's when I decided I was a goner. Do you ever fantasize about revenge? I uhhhhh... sometimes. What's a movie you would recommend to someone who never watches movies? Ohhh, that's hard. I don't really watch movies either, and I'm trying to think of one that essentially anyone would like, so hm. Oh, Coco is absolutely a possibility. That movie touched me so, so deeply and is high on my favorites list. It's impossible to not feel the emotions. Do you want to have grandkids? Hell, I don't want kids. Do you want to be an aunt or uncle? I already am one, and I love being an aunt. Who was your favorite Spice Girl? I don't remember their names or characters in general. Did you make a lot of home videos growing up? I mean *I* didn't, but Mom filmed quite a few. Do you enjoy babysitting? NO. What's an unpopular opinion that you have? Avoiding some political ones, uhhhh. OH. HERE'S ONE. THE SCENE AESTHETIC IS FUCKING CUTE AND NOT CRINGEY AND YOU CAN FIGHT ME ABOUT IT. Are you attracted to the opposite gender, same gender, or both? Both are A+. Was your first crush on someone of the same gender or opposite? Opposite. As a kid, I didn't even fathom the concept that women could date women. What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Brussel sprouts. Fucking disgusting. What is currently happening that is scaring you? Besides the very obvious answer of "Covid," I worry about my mom a lot. She's so weakened after all the chemo and meds and can do literally less than I can without heavily breathing and sweating. I just worry a lot that cancer will return sooner than we hope; I don't want it to EVER come back, but doctors say it is very, very likely at one point or another because she was so very close to Stage 4. What would be your personal hell? Being completely and entirely isolated forever while somewhere hot and humid, lol. And play one of my trigger songs on repeat eternally. What made the "weird kid" at your school weird? There was this poor guy named Alfred that was VERY clearly depressed out of his mind, and I heard him speak maybe once through all of high school, and the entire class couldn't believe it. He always sat way in the back and never smiled. I wonder how he is nowadays. What is a word you personally find offensive? "Retarded" personally offends me the most when misused and spoken as an insult. What instantly puts you to sleep? Now that is HARD to do; I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. The easiest way though would probably be me being drained from an emotional breakdown. That is so exhausting that I'm capable of crashing pretty fast and hard. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? I adore Rammstein, so there's plenty. I'll probably say "Donaukinder" is their best. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? I keep that I RP a complete secret in my "real" life for this reason unless it's like, pried out of me. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Johnny Got His Gun. See how goddamn disgusting war is. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Ha, realizing I was bisexual after once being homophobic. What is the funniest fact you know? Oh man, I know a lot of random trivia shit, really, so it's hard to say. Maybe that quokkas throw their offspring at predators to distract and escape from them... As awful as that is, c'mon, you gotta admit it's funny and shocking with just how adorable they are. What was your 'mic drop' moment? Oh, I don't know. Possibly when I publicly came out as bi on Facebook and made it abundantly clear that I gave no shits about some homophobic friends and family & I was beyond willing to let anyone's ass go over it. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? I remember as a kid at McDonald's, the woman in front of our car paid for our food; apparently seeing a mom, dad, and three kids in a van was enough that she wanted to just be kind and give us a smile. We have no idea who she was, never saw her face or anything, she was just a sweet woman. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Okay, I'm going to let go of all hatred for my body weight-wise and just think of this as from a strictly natural design perspective, in which case I'd say my toes are too small. What age are you afraid of turning and why? 30, because I'm terrified of getting there and seeing I've possibly gone nowhere. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? I'm keeping this question in just because I think there could be some interesting answers for others, but I'm witholding my answer because nobody wants or needs to know lmao. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Acting better than others and belittling. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? D A R K I P L I E R because of his origins and overall purpose and just simply existing. What is something you regret to NOT have done? I have this oddly weird regret of not going like, all-all the way with He Who Shall Not Be Named????? Idk why though????? Considering I loved him way too much and I was a reckless and impulsive person who probably at some point would have wound up accidentally pregs????? What a fuckin trip that woulda been. What movie changed your life for the better? None have really "changed my life." What book you think should be directed as a film? Oh, idk. Most I can think of have been. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? The 2000s, probably. A carefree kid. How are you doing today? I'm exhausted. While out with Mom and my sisters yesterday, we got behind a van whose driver was obviously drunk or high off his goddamn ass, and he was swerving EVERYWHERE, nearly shoving so many cars off the road. Mom called 911 to get in contact with highway patrol to report his dumb fucking ass in. I was having an absolute panic attack and cried quietly like the entire 45 or so minute drive home. I was just so, so upset because this is why I don't fucking drive, and I felt like I'd made my sister (who was driving) mad because she had to firmly tell me I had to calm down (I was hyperventilating and talking to myself to try to calm down) if she was going to focus and keep us safe. She later ensured me she wasn't mad, but I still wasn't the same the entire rest of the day. Anyway, I slept hard last night but had two nightmares, so I'm still really tired today. I'm trying to keep myself really distracted. What's something your relatives don't know about you? A whole lot really, considering beyond my very immediate family, I see almost nobody because they live many states away. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Mom would spank us or slap an arm pretty hard if my sisters or I misbehaved or "disrespected" her by "talking back." I'm not having kids, but I would never, ever, ever, put my hands on them in any way that isn't loving. You do not teach children via inflicting fear. I also have this probably overly strong aversion to beer because that's what Dad always drank as an alcoholic. I'll probably never try it, not that I really want to because it smells awful. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? I feel like "annoying" is the wrong word for this, but Roman (my cat) can be incredibly demanding of attention and to lie on me when I'm on the laptop in bed, and sometimes I just want space and be able to clearly see the screen, haha. He will legit meow like a baby and gently swat my arm sometimes if I try to keep him back. Heeee usually gets his way. As for Venus (snek), she does nothing "annoying" either, but rather a bit concerning to a snake mom: she is usually very slow to find and strike her food. I feed her frozen/thawed mice, and she will first slither around her entire cage, tongue flicking and clearly looking for her food, even though I always place it atop the same spot on her hide, and she can have her head RIGHT beside it and still do nothing. She ultimately generally eats (as a ball python though, she's a picky eater and will occasionally reject a meal), but I of course wonder why she's odd about dinnertime... As a champagne, she does have the notorious "spider gene" in her, which can cause neurological issues, but idk if something like this could be related.

[vermontparnasse]

not sure if this works but for the meme: a song of ice and fire AND game of thrones.

sure it works!  asoiaf:

1. the aspect of grrm’s storytelling that i find the weakest is his insistence on including so many extraneous details, and giving a name and a background to every. single. character. who’s ever mentioned, to the point where the reader loses all sense of who’s important and worth keeping track of, and who’s never going to be mentioned again after this page.  it makes it almost impossible to read asoiaf as a casual fan: you either have to be wholeheartedly devoted to this series, or just not bother.  which can be frustrating, especially when there’s such a long wait between books.  generally speaking i am pretty great at keeping track of names, but i know i’m going to have forgotten a lot of the background characters by the time twow comes out.2. in that vein, there can be so much filler in these books that makes for incredibly tedious reading.  i’m a fast reader but adwd took me MONTHS to get through.  again, when you’ve got a 1000 page book, sometimes it’s hard to hone in on which elements of the plot are going to be the most essential moving forward, and which are ultimately inconsequential.  it goes past cleverly intricate plotting and ends up being all a bit dull.  agot, acok, and asos were all such strong novels because while there was still a ton going on, it was easy to keep track of everything without needing to consult an online asoiaf encyclopedia every other chapter.  affc and adwd both suffered from grrm’s chronic inability to ever be concise.  i did like affc but there’s a lot i would have edited out.  i mostly hated adwd.  there was just too much going on and none of it was particularly interesting. 3. i don’t think i’ll ever be over robb not being a pov character.  i understand why he wasn’t but i still think grrm missed a good opportunity here.  it’s important to remember that robb is just a teenage boy in the books; he’s just as scared and vulnerable as the rest of his siblings, he doesn’t always make the right choices but he’s doing the best he can and i would have loved some more insight into his character, particularly regarding his marriage to jeyne which is never explored in any detail. 4. there should be more canon lgbt+ characters.  not nearly enough is done with renly and loras’ relationship which i’m still disappointed about as they’re two of my favorites, but also, more lgbt characters in general??  gay sansa and margaery??  bi asha??  come on grrm??5. this isn’t actually something that i would change about the published books but if jaime and cersei aren’t targaryens i am going to RIOT.  fuck r+l=j this is the reveal that i am IMPATIENTLY WAITING FOR

game of thrones.  oy.

1. the violence against women needs to stop.  this is such an obvious one but it bears saying because it is so important.  i hate when fantasy universes are framed around patriarchies; generally speaking i find it lazy because with this genre we have the potential for creating new worlds and adding new dynamics to gender politics and when you settle for ‘men are in charge and there’s a lot of rape’ it’s just like………. why…..  so this is a problem that i sort of have with the books too, but at least in the books the female characters still have a lot of agency.  the show just takes it to an entirely new level.  jaime raping cersei, ramsay raping sansa, joffrey brutally murdering ros; it’s all just disturbing and unnecessary torture porn.  how many times does this need to happen?2. the tyrion worship.  i am so sick of this.  tyrion is a great character in the books for how flawed and manipulative he is.  he’s not perfect by any means, but he’s fascinating.  in the show, tyrion can do no wrong.  all of his flaws are glossed over and there is literally nothing interesting or dynamic about his character because it’s just the same predictable saint tyrion shtick season after season.  one of the things i most love about asoiaf is the moral grey area that so many of the characters have, and got just misses this point completely sometimes.  (see also: saint jon, saint dany…)3. the r+l=j reveal was one of the worst scenes in television history lmao.  it came out of nowhere and the viewer can’t even tell who these people are??  i had to pause it and explain to my casual fan parents what was going on and that is not how one of the most important scenes in the whole damn show should play out. 4. the show forgetting that tysha existed?????????  oh my god???????????????  that whole reveal at the end of asos and the tyrion/jaime confrontation and ‘i am the monster they all say i am. yes i killed your vile son’ !!!!!!!!!!!!!! and how fundamentally this alters tyrion and jaime’s relationship like???  this is one of the most important scenes IN THE ENTIRE SERIES i cannot believe they cut this for the sake of………. whatever they did instead.  idek but it was a mess. 5. where the fuck is stoneheart 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #91

“does he love you the way that i do?”

would you rather have stars in the sky or the moon? moon do you ever stop and appreciate little things?  all the time. what is the worst natural disaster you’ve experienced firsthand? hurricanes do you cuddle with your pet (if you have one)?  yeah! you are completely alone with your favorite celebrity/person/whoever. what do you do?  just talk to him about stuff. if you had the power to instantly transform someone’s life (for the better), who would you choose to use this on?  off the top of my head, my mom. if a family member (or boyfriend/girlfriend, if you have one) happened to be infected by a zombie, how would you go about dealing with that situation? i'm a merciful person that doesn't want to see someone suffer. i'd kill them in the quickest way possible. if you were paralyzed from the neck down, would you still want to continue living? why or why not?  absolutely fucking not because that's just awful. has any medication you’ve taken ever made you sick? how so?  yeah. the mood stabilizer i'm on now, latuda, sometimes makes me so nauseous that i actually do get sick. did you ever listen to avril lavigne when you were younger?  dude she was like my crush full homo. i loved her. did you ever buy "now that’s what i call music" cds?  as a kid, my older sister did do you like turkey or ham more? ham. do you like rihanna? no. have you ever become good friends with someone you never met in person? most of my closest friends i've ever had i met online. what do you consider your default mood to be?  content have you ever dipped french fries in a frosty?  once. disgusting. favorite undertale character?  uhhh. asriel is honestly really cool. but i also love sans and papyrus. what do you think about lizards?  SO CUTE is there a certain place or store you especially hate going to?  walmart. the flourescent lighting makes me yawn. do you like any cover songs? which ones if you have any favorites?  sure. i love "hurt" by johnny cash, "another brick in the wall" by korn, "whiskey in the jar" by metallica... if you’re old enough, do you go clubbing on the weekends or not?  i've never been to a club. don't want to. what is/was your best subjects in school? science. have you ever gambled and won? i don't gamble. do you ever count the presents you're getting for birthdays or holidays? no! that's awful! be grateful for whatever you were given! do you have your ears pierced? twice in each earlobe. are you easily offended? sometimes. what is the best prank you have ever pulled?  i don't pull pranks. when you’re in a relationship, do you tend to be very physical? no. have you ever ended up dating someone you initially disliked? no. do you wear a lot of yellow? no. i don't like yellow. do you and your siblings actually look alike?  yeah. have you ever suffered from chronically bad acne? no. if you could own anyone’s autograph, and not be allowed to sell it, who would you choose?  mark fischbach's *heart eyes* how many dogs have you had, and do you remember all their names?  oh god. trigger, angel, harley, delilah, teddy, cali, bentley. how do you feel about snakes? i absolutely adore snakes. how many cats have you owned and can you remember their names? we have, without a doubt, had about 50 cats. there's no way i could remember all of them. were you sick a lot as a child? what illnesses plagued you the most? no. i like... never get sick. do you have any sinister or morbid tattoos? no, but i do have some pretty dark ones planned. do you feel that you are better than most humans? i mean some, sure, in regards to being better in temperment. i don't believe any human is ultimately "better" than the other, though, in essence. what is your favorite type of meat to eat? chicken or pork. have you ever dated a red-head? no. what do you call small children? (children, kids, tots, etc.)  kids how old were you when you took driver’s ed?  16 have you ever pet-sat for someone? yeah. what’s one theme song you will NEVER skip?  the one to "deadman wonderland" what’s something that gets much more hate than it deserves?  nickelback. like shut up, you like at least one of their songs lol what show/movie never gets old for you? the shrek series lol are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? not anymore are you happier now or three months ago? now! how old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? i don't want kids. do you think you’ll be married in ten years? probably? what do you miss most about your ex? my most recent ex, all the things we had in common, i guess. my "main" ex, i miss a lot of things about him, but more than anything, i miss him actually being a caring person. are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? no. how long have you liked the person you like? since late 2011. are you one of those people who are always cold? people usually tell me my skin is freezing, but i'm typically very hot. if you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? i'd definitely give it away. tongue piercings - cute or trashy? i honestly find them cute. when it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? skinny would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? ballerina. ballet is beautiful. honestly - can you say that looks don’t matter at ALL? you can't tell me with a straight face that they don't matter at all. i’ve got to know, who do you prefer: mario or luigi? luigi! yes or no: techno music? no. yes or no: pigtails? cute mostly on kids. how old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? i was about to turn 16, if you mean my first "serious" boyfriend. i don't remember what age i was when i started "dating" aaron, but i was in the 7th grade. is your home town nice? noooo do you believe in love at first sight? explain. hell no. you can't just look at someone and automatically "love" them. do you currently have any medicine in your bag / purse / etc? if so, what kind? yes, my adivan. what do you like on your pasta / noodles? sauce, butter, grated cheese, etc.? sauce ultimately, do you believe nature controls man or that man controls nature? explain. both. do you think it’s wrong to put yourself before others? in what sort of situations? it strictly depends on the situation in school, are / were you ever reluctant to ask questions? what about to answer questions? for what reasons? yes, but i was worse at asking questions. i was and still am shy. are you weary of displaying signs of affection for your significant other around adults? why or why not? no, when i do have a s.o. there's no shame in expressing love. have you ever had red velvet cake or carrot cake? have you ever made either of those? i've had both, but never made either. what is your favorite take out food to get? what do you usually order? bojangle's, and it's called a chicken supreme dinner. if I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? i REALLY wanna go to a metallica concert. what color looks best on you? black name three facts about your family. uhhh. we're german, irish, and polish; our surname is scottish; and we live all over the country. if you could pick the gender and appearance of your child, would you? gender yes, appearance, it'd be cool to select a few features if you died right now, what song would you want to play at your funeral? "took it like a woman" by alice cooper favorite holiday dish? spiral ham would you ever get into a long distance relationship? i honestly don't think i could. favorite kind of soup?  vegetable soup. the best was surprisingly from my elementary school. what’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate. for your birthday, what kind of cake do you ask for?  red velvet did you ever play an instrument? if so, what? i played flute for years, and i shortly played around with guitar. best i could do was probably the intro to "crazy train" would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? carve pumpkins favorite kind of candy? reese's if you're including chocolate, sour punch straws if not. what’s a movie you cried while watching?  "the notebook" destroyed me how old were you when you had your first kiss? 16 would you rather have hair that changes color with emotion or get injured each time you’re touched by the person you love? hair that changes color with emotion, obviously. do you have a laptop? yes, but mine's currently broken. i've been using mom's. have you ever been the object of someones affection, when they were ‘taken’?  yeah. does it bother you when people lie to spare you ‘heartache’?  it depends. have you ever had a black eye?  no. would you sacrifice your dreams, to help someone else reach theirs?  no, i wouldn't. ever wished you were alive when there were dinosaurs? lmao no?? do you believe we “live and learn”? depends on if you want to learn. what is on your wrists right now? nothing on the left, my tattoo on the right. reason for the last tear shed?  i was fighting with my mom. have you ever been called a babe or baby?  yes, and i don't like it. name one person you wish you could fix things with? if i could only pick one person, jason. but i also really really wish my old best friend megan and i could be friends again. if you’re single, then why don’t you get a girlfriend/boyfriend?  because you don't simply "get" a boyfriend?? are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship or just friends? we're not even friends anymore what was the worst night of your life, or the night you have been scared the most? the night jason broke up with me. what three places in the world do you want to travel to? south africa, germany, aaaand... australia, maybe? are you allergic to cats? no have you ever babysat?  once what’s your second favorite color? pink do you refuse to use public toilets?  i avoid them as best i possibly can. how do you feel about golden oreos? never tried, don't want to, because i know i'll hate them. favorite cheese? i only like american. favorite lunch meat?  salami what's the strangest animal you've had for a pet? rats are you more annoyed when decorations are up two months prior to a holiday or still up two months after a holiday? hmmm. prior, maybe. what’s the strangest art piece you’ve come across?  i've heard of one where a woman vomits onto a canvas in abstract designs. and they actually sell. fucking gross. can you legally drive? not without someone who's had their license for seven years. do you know any songs that are older than you are? most of the songs i enjoy are older than me lol are you comfortable sharing drinks with your friends? not really. what season were you born in?  winter have your parents ever questioned your virginity?  yes. what pizza place do you usually order from? domino's, my favorite. if we want something quick though, little ceasar's. do you have a least favorite color? what is it?  brown, puke green do you find graveyards scary?  no. do you swear a lot? yes. do you know if you were born in the am or pm? am do you sit on the mattresses in furniture stores?  ha ha yeah have you ever read the bill of rights/declaration of independence?  we had to memorize the bill of rights in high school. have your parents ever thought you were gay? what happened? no. my old therapist thought i was though once. she was awful. what do you normally order when you go to subway? turkey, bacon, american cheese, pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers, chipotle... and i feel like i'm forgetting something. are you comfortable talking to both your parents about sex and boys? just vaguely with my mom. what is your idea of “too big” when it comes to weight? when you can no longer properly function. how about “too thin”?  once your bones are clearly visible. have you ever experienced an overly clinging boy-/girlfriend? yeah. partially why we only dated for two weeks. have you ever decided that you like/dislike someone based on their survey answers? i wouldn't say entirely. but i'll sometimes get a bad idea about some people. a bloodied, possibly wounded man is on the side of the road: do you stop to see if you can assist him, or do you drive past? i'd call 911. i wouldn't help because who knows if he's dangerous. what’s the ultimate cake topping?  chocolate have you ever walked into a wall?  more like ran ha ha can you name all 50 american states?  no. have you ever needed stitches? yeah. when i passed out onto the floor on my chin. have you ever been in a submarine?  no. do you believe there used to be dragons?  no. who’s your favorite god from ancient history? hmmm. athena. could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? no. what was your first alcoholic drink?  strawberry mike's hard lemonade where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?  ohio who was your first kiss? the first person who kissed me was juan, but the first person i kissed and who reciprocated was jason, so i consider him my "first kiss" what nicknames do you have/have had? britt, britt-britt, brittany bear, ozz, ruby, flower did you ever have a treehouse as a kid?  no. we only had tall pine trees where i grew up. have you ever planted a tree? an apple tree, yes. have you ever dated someone with longer hair than yours?  no. do you have any cats? no, but i want one. are you a moody person? i have either bpd or bipolarity ii. of course i am. how many girls do you know named alison? my little sister's best friend's name is allison. do you prefer to do the asking out, or be asked out?  be asked out. have you ever been evicted? yes. do you know anyone who snores?  my mom snores louder than anyone i've ever met. dad, too. what is your favorite font?  garamond. have you ever seen a rooster? yep. have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? yeah. what is your favorite number?  13 what color are your slippers?  they're meerkat slippers lol. so tan. what state were you born in?  north carolina. do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? multiple people. do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? rarely. where is your favorite place to get fries?  bojangle's. their seasoning is ohhh goodness how many romantic relationships have you been in so far? one have you ever been camping in the wilderness?  no. would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? VERY do you have gluten intolerance or anyone who does?  i don't, but my cousin does. do you trust the media?  HA what kind of cookies are your favorite? chocolate chip do animals have souls? yeah. are you easily embarrassed? YES how well do you handle your alcohol?  apparently extremely well. i've never been smashed, despite drinking a moderate amount. how can people tell if you're drunk?  i'm talkative and kinda loud. tell me about the best pet you ever had: the dog i currently have now, teddy<3 are any of your siblings married? ashley, yes. who was the last person to spend the night with you at your house?  chelsea. that was fun. who was your date to senior prom? jason. does your dad smoke?  yes. he's getting better about it, though. is your mom over 50?  yes. who would you tell, or who did you tell when you lost your virginity? i'd tell my mom first. that or i'd tell nobody because it's not really anyone's business. do you have a debit card? no. why did you stop working at the last place you were employed? i was getting so anxious that i was puking. do you have freckles? no. what would you do if you found out your ex was pregnant/fathered a child? tyler, wouldn't care, jason... i'd feel weird. do you think the drinking age in america should be lowered to 18?  no. what is the nearest big city to you? raleigh. do you think what bill clinton did was wrong? ... obviously? have you ever run away? yeah. what is your favorite holiday?  halloween. how often are you online?  like... all the time. what are you obsessed with? mark fischbach, link neal & rhett mclaughlin, meerkats, "silent hill"... backstreet boys or nsync?  backstreet boys. what is your favorite disney movie? "the lion king" who did you last go bowling with?  colleen, bradley, girt. do you have any pets?  three great dogs, one lovely snake. who do you look like in your family? vaguely like my sisters, and an equal amount of people say i look like my mom or dad. could you ever believe in assisted suicide? no. have your parents ever put one of your pets to sleep? we had to. he had spleen cancer and was dying. have you ever been hunting? no. what oceans have you swam in? atlantic. are you ugly? i feel like i am, mostly because of my weight. what was your favorite park ride as a child? the carousel gnr or aerosmith?  ohhh. hmmm... i think aerosmith, but i love gnr too. could you pull off red hair? i have red hair now and it looks great. do you know any guys with their nipples pierced?  i think so. favorite beatles song? "hey, jude" have you ever seen a tornado? no. have you ever felt an earthquake? no. do you eat apples with the skin on or skin off? skin on. what is the first thing you do when you get on the computer?  open youtube what do you mainly watch on youtube?  let's plays do you sing in the shower? no. are you the competitive type? not at all. have you ever stolen someone's boyfriend/girlfriend?   unintentionally would you ever consider being a scientist?   no. are you scared of cancer?   who isn't? do you want to get married?  yeah. how many bisexual friends do you have?   two, off the top of my head. would you get married four times?  well first of all, i'm against divorce unless you're in an abusive/neglectful/overall horrible situation, so. are you good at chemistry?   no. do you have online friends?   yep. do you like your handwriting?   i do. have you ever been called emo?   yeah. describe your favorite shoes:   i have this pair of slip-ons that is a black cat design with sunglasses lol do you like zombie movies?   no opinion. have you ever volunteered in a hospital? if not, would you ever want to?  no to both. have you ever had to give a pet away?  yes. what kind of wild animals do you see most frequently where you live?  squirrels, i gues?  besides birds? if a stranger went in your room, would they be able to tell what gender you are from just looking at it?   no.  i actually think a lot of people would think i was a guy.  well... that is if you exclude my huge meerkat display lmao does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you?   yes to all. do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth?  inside.  i feel safer. do you own a nightgown?  no. have you ever made a tent out of sheets in your bedroom?   ha ha yeah. have you ever had sex or something like it?   something like it, yeah, but not actual sex. have you ever worn fishnets?  fishnet gloves, yes. do you always wear your seat belt?  always. is there ice cream in your freezer?   i wish. does your bathroom have a window?   a small one. do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done?  yes.  a family friend's salon. do you have a fish tank?   no. if you found out you couldn’t have kids, would you adopt?   finding out i couldn't have kids would honestly be relieving.  i don't want kids, so i obviously wouldn't adopt, either. do bunnies roam around your backyard at night?   yes, actually.