#especially given the parallels of them being forced to marry and have kids way too young

[bbygirl-aemond]

HotD casting is literally INSANE like you can't tell me this isn't exactly what olivia cooke's son would look like

[a-student-out-of-time]

Connections Review Part 1

Happy 2021 everyone! Well…the year’s off to a terrible start due to how bad last year was but I hope that most of 2021 will be good and not be 2020 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. But enough of that, another arc ended, another review due. Now I am quite conscious of length here and I’ll try to make these reviews a bit easier to read, it will still be split into 3 parts as there I can cover the main themes which are; Time Travel, Harems and Maverick ‘Motherfucker Hellspawn’ Storm. My initial plan was to have a quick lightening recap of everything that doesn’t fit into these categories and then review the Time Travelling and Harems but Storm became so big he needed his own part. Oh, and it should go without saying, but I will not cover the Mistletoe Asks. They are not relevant to the arc and are basically shipping fluff. No in-depth analysis required there. And with that said and done, let’s get right into it.

Its Recap time

So, as I mentioned before we get into the 3 big themes of this arc, I’ll cover really quick, and I promise it will be really quick here, anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. So firstly, we see that Kazuichi went around the Void Warehouse and helped fix their lights. Now that all of Class 77-B are aware of Void’s existence, they can help out with any problems they might have in their living quarters, which leads to a funny scene of Kazuichi getting attacked by a crow. This could be random but given what has happened with another seemly random event (more on that later) and the fact that Monocrow exists, this could be sinister foreshadowing for things yet to come. We also see Kazuichi getting ideas to build a robot with Chihiro as that’s his way of romance. Given Chihiro’s crossdressing tendencies, I wonder when the truth comes out and how confused our shark boy would be. But yeah, Kazuichi out all of the new Class 77-B members seems to have the most focus in this arc, not that I’m complaining as he was the most ‘pointless’ survivor from DR2 so him getting actual character development and focus I’m more then welcome for! There’s also Yoruko rekindling her relationship with her mentor Minako. This went better than expected then again it happened years ago, both Yoruko and Minako had time to reflect on it and both wanted to make up, but thought the other wouldn’t accept it. We also see some parallels here with Hiroko from UDG as Kizuna is revealed to be the result of a teenage pregnancy. As I mentioned in an ask, not to bog you down with personal details but teenage pregnancy is a serious problem where I live and too many people I know fucked as teens, didn’t use protection, and boom! Babies! Good thing I have a passion for Danganronpa so I DON’T get wrapped up in that kind of stuff eh? So, I completely understand Minako’s rational here, and Kizuna’s more troublesome behaviour as one of my RL friends was also the result of a teen pregnancy, and this led to her having…issues. And yeah, Kizuna shamelessly flirts with the Anons and talks about Josuke, no not THAT Josuke, simping hard for her. Naturally we have bigger problems to content with but once the weather calms down, we need to sort out Kizuna, especially now that Yoruko and Minako have made up. And that’s the two things that happened which weren’t relevant to the main themes. Now they are out of the way, time to move onto Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff. Hey, Emma made a Doctor Who joke already, so it’s okay!

Back to the Visions

Despite Time Travel being one of the main themes of this blog, not a lot of research has gone into it at the moment, so in this wind down time, it’s the perfect time for Umeko to do some experiments into time travel. Last Arc dropped the reveal that Mikako has being getting dreams of the future, and as Koroko and Umeko pull up at the Kisurugi household, we see that Mikako just had a dream of the Tragedy, which understandably horrified her. Because of this Umeko and Koroko were forced to tell Mikako, Yamato and his father the truth about the future. They omitted Kasugano and him changing the timelines as its not needed but well…when one dreams of an apocalyptic future you know is coming, there’s no sense in lying about it. Umeko then explains about the time travel and basically that since the brain surgery, Mikako’s brain has become a tachyon receiver that can pick up tachyon from different timelines, not just the one you are on. But it goes beyond being able to see the future via her dreams as if Mikako focuses, and someone touches Mikako during this time, they are hit with a vision of the future that involves them. The first vision was with Koroko and she caught a glimpse into a future much more distant then the 2017 that Hajime, Yoruko, Sora and the other 2 time travellers came from, as it seems to be from the Year 2020-2022 so pretty close to our time then. Here Koroko and Kanata, who not only went through a growth spurt like Hiyoko (Poor Hibiki, she is forever going to be the short one) and has married Nagito, are giving vaccinations to a young girl named Sayuri Hinata. Sayuri herself is very familiar to some people as during the last Arc when Akane was trying to comfort Nikei, one Anon asked about a timeline where she and Ayame had a child. This was a reference to Nextgenronpa which is a Nextgen AU on Instagram created by Mikwithnoando, if you happen to have an Instagram account, I highly recommend reading it, it’s really good! The character in question is called Sayuri Otonokoji the Ultimate Sculptor and in Nextgenronpa she’s the child of Hibiki and Iroha. Koroko looking through her medical records noticed her mother’s name is Hibiki Hinata so Hibiki obviously changed her last name, makes sense as she wants to probably be as far away from Otonokoji as possible now but no mention of the father and yes Sayuri looks a lot like Iroha. This has a few possibilities.

The first theory is that Sayuri is Hibiki and Hajime’s child, but both are very busy. Hibiki would have very likely restarted her musical career around this time and we don’t know what Hajime would be doing but he would be very busy as well, and thus not a lot of time to raise Sayuri. Now Iroha would have a very sedimentary lifestyle and given she is looking after Jataro at the moment, this would probably make Iroha one of the more experienced caretakers/mothers of the cast, so maybe Sayuri was often babysat by Iroha, and if Sayuri was spending a lot of time with Iroha at a young age, she would start to view Iroha as a second mother and start copying her behaviour and mannerisms. But that doesn’t evade the fact that Sayuri PHYSICALLY looks like Iroha as well. The second theory is something happens to Hibiki or Hajime and they are unable to reproduce but want kids. With Kyoji, making kids would not be an issue, but a surrogate mother would be required and maybe Iroha volunteered to be a surrogate. However, the big issue there is that Iroha is much younger than the Goodbye Despair cast, and as Mikan later points out legally, you need to be 21 to be eligible. Sayuri looking to be 8-10 years old means Hibiki and Hajime must have banged around now-2014 and Iroha won’t turn 21 until 2017 and Sayuri looks way older than 3-5 years old. But there is one more theory and the one I believe in. Just because Mikako can see the future, doesn’t mean it’s the timeline we are currently on, and you guys remember that awful, awful period during Oncoming Storm when Iroha was crushing on Hajime and wanted to join the Cuddle Puddle despite there being a significant age gap between him and Iroha? In our timeline, Yoruko was able to slap some sense into Hajime, he was able to see he was developing a Saviour’s complex and was able to grow and develop, and it also system shocked Iroha as well as she learnt that she needed to grow up as well. But what if that didn’t happen? I think that timeline is from one when the sense slapping didn’t happen and Iroha did wind up being part of the Cuddle Puddle, and Sayuri was the result of science from Kyoji and Iroha and Hibiki wanting kids. In addition to this we also see Kotoko in her teen years and she looks brilliant all grown up and the way she talked about ‘our mothers’ and Sayuri referring to Kotoko as a big sister, makes one believe that Mikan is successful in adopting Kotoko. Overall, while Sayuri is going to be a headache to decode, that future was nice and sweet, even if it gave Mikako mild seizures.

After Mikako recovered, Yamato wanted to see the future as well, and thus we get the second vision which is from the OG Timeline in 2014, as it shows some Class 79 tomfoolery with Haruhiko ‘testing’ Yamato’s jetpack and crashing into a tree, and Teruya being concerned for his bro. I know its 2014 because Class 79 was formed then and they didn’t bond for long before Utsuro showed up with an army of Monokumas and was like ‘Knock knock, it’s the upupupu train’ and we get the Proto Killing Game. At least Yamato gets to see his future friends for the first time. And Mikako doesn’t get that much of a headache this time so it seems that the further in time she looks, the bigger the side effects. The first vision was a decade into the future so the side effects were quite big but the second one was only a couple of years so the effects were reduced.  It remains uncertain if Mikako has to trust the person in question for the vision link to be done because as much of a force of good this seer ability is, it can also be used for evil. Overall, lots of discoveries on Mikako’s abilities and some hope that not every future out there is filled with despair and there exists a timeline where the Quantum Crew do win. Now it’s a case of seeing if that’s the timeline they are on or not.

That summarizes part 1 with the recapping of minor details and the time travelling science! It’s a longer part then I wanted but with the recap at the beginning it cannot be helped. When we come back, I’ll talk about the Harems and the events surrounding them and hopefully that would be the new length I wish to aim for because this is more of my old length. Stay tuned people! - Review Anon

[thebookofbri]

Things I Wish I Told My West Indian Parents - The Collective

Dear Kings and Queens , I come to you all with a warm heart of gratitude. I applaud your courage, your strength, and your voice! Thank you for trusting me enough to share these very sensitive thoughts and experiences that you have all held close to your heart. May these pieces serve as a R E L E A S E . May they BIND UP the negative impacts that they’ve caused and may they LOOSEN the beautiful souls that you all are evolving into.

Whether you are a viewer outside of the west Indian community, a west Indian parent, child(ren) of west indian parents, or a supportive friend, I ask you to open up your hearts and minds to these shared stories and experiences below:

“I wish I told my west Indian parents that disciplining your children doesn’t always have to mean putting your hands on us – A conversation here and there would’ve been enough. ”

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“ I wish I told my west Indian parents that  I was a bisexual”

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“I Wish I told my west Indian parents that I think I would’ve been into church wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more if not so forceful. Like I wish they would just talk to us as humans. Not as a thing. Don’t get me wrong I’m into church and love God. I’d give my life to stand up for him. But growing up I would’ve been this way if not so forceful”.

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“Communication especially about the uncomfortable topics like sex! Life isn’t just about education and working!

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“Growing up I was never truly allowed to express myself emotionally if physically. Like if I ever thought my parents were wrong and I dared to speak up about it no matter how respectful I was about it, I would get shut down disrespectfully as if I was in the wrong the whole time. It hurt me because I didn’t really know how to and it affected my school, work, and even personal/romantic relationships. I was also put under extremely high standards, this put a lot of pressure on me from and every young age. It was hard for me to learn how to let go, it was hard for me to learn it’s okay to not be perfect, it was hard for me to accept failure and truly I still struggle with it which also makes it hard for me to open up about things I’ve failed in or not being able to make those around me happy as I feel they should be”.

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Things I Wish I Told My West Indian Mom - When you tell your daughter “little girls should be seen and not heard” You’re teaching her to be submissive and passive. You’re teaching her that she has no voice and it’s not her place to speak on things she’s passionate of. You’re teaching her to sit by and watch men screw up everything consistently. Unfortunately, you’re teaching her that her voice doesn’t matter which is ruinous to her development because her voice is one of the most powerful tools in her belt.

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1. I wish I didn’t have to figure out that you loved me or that you were proud of me, I wish you would have just told me. For years, I worked to earn what should have been given to me as a birthright and in your inability to express this to me, I struggled to find it in myself and so sought it in the world. I didn’t find it there either.

2. The provisions you provided me, the house, the lights, the food, and the clothes; they were always appreciated but there was nothing I valued more and rarely received like your physical presence. You worked ceaselessly to provide and I will never forsake or undermine that sacrifice but you missed what mattered that most; the person I grew into. That person was more than a profession. That person was more than the education. That person was more than the expectations and I wish you had gotten to know her, because I struggled to find her, heal her, and forge her, to become her, and more likely than not; you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her.

3. I wish your love language wasn’t physical discipline. In place of constructive affirmations or words of affections, your preferred course of action created more gaps in the love story you poorly narrated over the course of my life. It made resenting you second nature and resenting the world; first.

4. I wish I could carry the weight of dashed dreams, the ones you called expectations, as easily as I could shoulder the weight of the hurtful rhetoric that had become commonplace between us. Know that in spite of that, I tried and still try to live up to them, if only to give you the joy that seemed to escape you so often. If only to shrink the cost of your sacrifice.

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I Wish They Told Me That Silence is Not A Strength ! Since I was a little girl I’ve watched my mom bend over backwards for people whose sole intentions were to take advantage of her. Through and through, I always hear her say when people wrong you, just turn the other cheek. Now, don’t get me wrong it also says that in the Bible, but in the Haitian culture we tend to use The WORD out of context quite a lot. She was never truly happy, but never dared to speak up. Of course, I learned from her, after all, she was my mother ! THIS silence has broken me times and times again. Even when I was wronged in many ways imaginable, by family who was supposed to love me and care for me. Eventually, I came to the realization that if everything bad that happens to me I stay silent, then how can I help the next person who went through that situation or something? One of the main events in my life that lead to this realization was when a family member tried to abuse me sexually.

In that moment I told myself “ I can do two things scream so everyone in the house will come running, and he will stop or stay silent like I was taught” I went with option two.... I SCREAMED like my life depended on it. When asked why I was screaming, I explained that he ( my cousin) tried to touch me inappropriately. I was met with so much disappointment. My uncle asked me “ how could you even say that ? Are you trying to bring shame to my family ?”They told me to never repeat the occurrence of that event. It was killing me, so I decided to tell my dad . I was living with this family after my mom passed away, because it was too painful to stay in the house that mom and I shared almost all of my life. I told my dad all that happened, he was furious, and decided that I had to come back home.

My dad was the only person who believed me before I even uttered a word. I then moved to the United States, and told myself that this so called family was practically dead to me. The trauma was slowly killing me. At the age of 17, I decided to begin my own healing process, and started telling everyone who will listen, and I started to feel better because I could finally speak! I was free from the bondage of silence, It felt like I was almost completely in control of my voice again.

Finally, I decided to make the final process of my healing forgiveness. I forgave them, but I promised myself that I will never let anyone hurt by keeping my truth hidden, no matter how ugly it may be. I am now the mother of a beautiful littler girl, and I can never imagine her being in my position, but scared to speak up against injustices, unfair treatment, and things that make her uncomfortable.

Silence in our culture allow evil to repeat itself. Our culture is so good at sweeping things under the rug that it will eventually destroy our nation. However, I will continue to teach my daughter to always use her voice!!. I will teach her to be the voice of reason for her generation. I want her to know that I have her back no matter what, and I will choose to believe her story every single time. SILENCE is not a strength!

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I Wish my West Indian Parents Told Me that vulnerability does not equate weakness.

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I wish my west Indian parents told me that they loved me.

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“As an adult I struggle to have real genuine romantic relationships and friendships because I struggle with being emotionally intelligent and available to the ones I care about. I wish my parents taught me how to love – their example as a married couple seemed dull and lifeless. Their relationships with me and my siblings reflected that very same thing.”

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“As a young woman I wish my west Indian mother told me that being single after college and wanting to do my own thing is okay. I wish she told me that It didn’t and still doesn’t take a male figure to complete me”.

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“I wish my parents didn’t compare me to other people’s kids – all it did was embarrass me and make me feel like I wasn’t good enough”.

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“I wish my west Indian father would actually spend time with me – I know he has to work but his absence has impacted my life so much”.

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“I wish my west Indian parents knew that I am trying my best and that mental health is real. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression and it’s not an excuse to do nothing - I just need help”.

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Thank you for your support and thank you for taking the time to read the experiences of others. .

I ask that you reflect on what you’ve read.

Has this raised any awareness for you?

Are there similarities or parallels that you can make from these stories in your own life?

If you are West Indian – what will you do differently as a parent? As a friend? As a daughter or son?

Any conversations you think you’d start?

Peace & Love Tribe 🌻❤️

[hamliet]

On Banana Fish’s Ending

Welcome to the hell that is Banana Fish’s ending. If you like it it’s hell. If you hate it it’s definitely hell. If you’re like me somewhere in the middle but closer to “I don’t like this” it’s hell. We’re all suffering. 

Like any useless writer, I cope by writing out my feelings so here, have this.

I can see why some feel the ending narratively works in some respects, and in some ways I can even agree it can be read in certain ways that make it work. But I also think a happy ending could have been just as narratively excellent, depending on the execution, and my personal opinion is that this would have been a more responsible ending. But no one has to agree, and I understand why people hate the ending and why people defend the ending. 

I’m going to talk about this in a few segments: authorial statements, social messages, and genre. (I’m writing another meta on the narrative themes of the ending because that section got massively long.) For what it’s worth, a story does not exist in a vacuum, and while it’s absolutely valid to interpret and critique a story according to simply the written story, it’s also valid to weigh authorial intent (or to dismiss it), and to evaluate how the story plays into both larger cultural messages and larger literary trends. Any author 100% knows that their story will be interpreted according to all of these. But what follows is mostly my opinion/explaining why I feel as I do. It is not me saying anyone has to feel or interpret it the same way. 

Authorial Statements

I know Yoshida has made... contradictory and, frankly, offensive statements on the ending, in which she’s said things such as that Ash narratively had to die because he was a murderer and people who kill need to pay with their own lives. In general, Yoshida seems to struggle in interviews--like saying she hates Yut-Lung when the story’s moral center character (Sing) literally tells him in his last scene “I can’t hate you” and promises to help him redeem himself. This is hardly unique to her. It’s hard to explain a complex element of story in a few sentences of an answer. Ishida’s first interview after the end of TG had some cringeworthy moments, Rowling seems to make constant missteps (and retcons), etc. Hence, I generally employ “death of the author”--I think the author’s intent matters to the extent their work conveys their intent, but not if their work contradicts what they then say. 

The entirety of Banana Fish contradicts this idea of murderous karma. In fact, the story is at its core about finding a way out of a violent cycle, of finding freedom. Ash dying with a smile on his face literally says that he did not die trapped in a system of karmic violence with no hope of freedom. 

Not to mention Sing is a murderer. Yut-Lung* is a murderer. Blanca is a murderer. They all live, and get hopeful (even happy-ish) endings and implied redemption for Yut-Lung and for Blanca. 

*I know Yut-Lung is name-dropped as having been assassinated in a later manga called Yasha but like, he never actually appears in Yasha and it has nothing to do with his character’s arc in Banana Fish, so I don’t think it’s relevant to anything relating to Yut-Lung’s character as we know him. It’s really just an Easter egg, and since Yut-Lung dying in Yasha is a retcon of the fact that his arc ending with him living in the main story (Banana Fish) I feel completely free to disregard it as not actually canon.*

Additionally, Banana Fish takes empathetic looks at children who are suffering in a world where they are forced into the roles of prostitutes and killers, and what’s the point of empathy if it can’t change anything? Eiji is noted to basically be walking empathy, having a gift for comforting those around him, and the mutual, spiritual, and yes, romantic, love he and Ash share changes things for Ash (and for Eiji). To say that death had to happen narratively is to say that Eiji was, in the words of his critics, useless, which is rather at odds with the central emotional draw of the story: Ash and Eiji’s relationship. It contradicts Eiji’s beautiful letter, the one that Ash smiled as he died because of, because in this letter Eiji assures Ash: “you can change your destiny.”

So anyways, regardless of what Yoshida says, Ash being a murderer is not a narrative justification for the ending because that simply isn’t what the story conveys.

That being said, that perspective--that Ash’s death is karma for killing--is exactly Ash’s perspective. Just when he was about to overcome his flaw of not seeing his value by realizing how much he meant to Eiji, Lao reminds him of Shorter’s death, the one thing he cannot forgive himself for. And so Ash allows himself to die. But the thing is this perspective is wrong and narratively condemned. Eiji’s letter offers a counter to this, but Ash doesn’t take it (which is slightly inexplicable). Plus, as we see in “Garden of Light,” it leaves Eiji unable to completely overcome his flaw (an inability to act/truly live) for seven years, so the story condemns it too. 

And, of course, Ash also did not kill Shorter out of malice--he was forced into it, like he was forced into the life he had to live with Dino. It’s not the deaths of one of the people begging to be spared whom Ash killed for playing a role in killing Shorter, but Shorter’s death itself that brings about fear and mistrust in Lao. To have Ash’s death be a consequence for killing willingly (which he did plenty of), it should have been for one of those nameless people we got a brief shot of, instead of as a consequence for a murder Ash had no choice in and was a victim of almost as much as Shorter was. But that also wouldn’t work because a nameless death doesn’t quite suffice for offing your main character, so. Yeah. Ash’s death is not a narrative consequence for killing others; it’s expressly framed as a tragic and cruel result of his inability to forgive himself for specific acts that were not his fault. 

Social Messages Part 1: LGBT relationships

While Banana Fish was written in the 1980s-90s (kind of a dire time for LGBT+ people in the United States with the AIDS crisis), the trope of “bury your gays” has received rightful criticism since, and the ending can definitely be seen as “bury your gays.” (A criticism that is not helped by what happens to the gay/bi character in Yasha.) In other words, while I think the themes, characters, and frankly issues of Banana Fish are generally timeless, the ending is the only part of the story that I don’t think ages well. As time goes by, it will probably get even more criticism because of current society finally moving towards being better in the portrayal of LGBT+ characters. 

*Because I want to complain and explain why I really don’t consider anything post-GoL canon: the follow-up picture book “New York Sense” doesn’t help the “bury your gays” impression either: Sing and Akira are certainly intended to be parallels to Ash and Eiji as Akira is brought to the US by Ibe and interacts with gangster Sing in “Garden of Light,” and while such framing is very ambiguous/bordering on not being there in GoL the follow-ups absolutely paint a romantic framing to their interactions in GoL. They marry and raise a son, popping up in cameos in Yoshida’s other works. Hence it runs dangerously close to reading as the heterosexual couple introduced in the epilogue got the happy ending while the gay couple we spent 19 volumes with did not. Since Sing is also still heavily involved with the mafia in all of the follow-ups, this again contradicts narrative justifications for Ash’s death as karma. 

While I very much like Akira’s character, her romance with Sing isn’t just uncomfortable because of the above issue--it’s also uncomfortable because she is 13 and he is 23 in GoL (though their relationship doesn’t have to be read as mutually romantic there, and I don’t read it that way) and according to “New York Sense,” they marry when she is 18 which... implies things that seems very, very out of character for Sing, the series’ moral compass, and dramatically contradicts the skeevy adults preying on kids theme. It can also raise some cringe-worthy questions about why it’s framed as okay for the heterosexual couple but negatively (as it should be) for the people--who are primarily men--who assault Ash (and there is noted to have been a woman who assaulted him in “Private Opinion”). Like with Yut-Lung’s death, I just... don’t accept this retconning as canon. It contradicts the themes of Banana Fish as a story so I don’t have to.*

Social Messages Part 2: Abuse Survivors

For people who have been through abuse similar to Ash’s, in which choices over basic things like life, death, and your own body are taken from you, it’s honestly cruel to show someone who has spent their entire life suffering just about to grasp happiness, and then they die. It is fully valid to find this completely distasteful, and I do too.

But for me at least, one aspect that circumvents... some of the distasteful implication that Ash really was broken by things he had no choice in is the fact that Ash triumphed over his abusers first. Yet of course, having him die afterwards still hurts people who read the story and see themselves in a character like Ash, as it can reinforce the idea that abuse defines your life. 

I do wish (though I don’t think there’s a moral necessity) that more authors/creators would acknowledge that, in creating characters whom you in theory want people to relate to, see themselves in, root for, care about, you’re asking people to suffer with them as they suffer and if they die, grieve for them. Given the heaviness of Ash’s arc and the specific nature of his suffering (especially since it was horrifically emphasized in the story’s last arc with Foxx), the fact that Ash didn’t in the end overcome the message that he did not have value is going to be very painful for readers/viewers. (Lao missed his vital organs, so Ash really chose to die instead of getting help, because he chose to believe Blanca over Eiji, which... I’m not sure it quite works.) If you could have narratively had it end happily (and it absolutely could have, and apparently Yoshida’s editor told her not to end it with Ash’s death), there’s room to say that going with the tragic ending is hurtful and bordering on irresponsible. 

Genre

That defeat of Ash’s abusers is the reason I don’t think Banana Fish is quite as tragic as other stories like, say, the first Tokyo Ghoul or Hamlet or Macbeth, though it’s certainly tragic. In those stories, every single characters’ flaws lead to them dying, and it offers a cautionary tale. Banana Fish is more in the vein of say, Romeo and Juliet, or even the movie Titanic (I’m not making a romance comparison, for the record), in that the main characters might die, but their choices and the people they loved and how they loved manage to save a city, in the case of Romeo & Juliet, or to save Rose in the case of Titanic. In Banana Fish, Ash did help Eiji live, even if Eiji would need time to process it after the set-back of Ash’s death. 

In other words, even if I’m unhappy with it and I am, I don’t consider Banana Fish’s ending nihilistic. It wasn’t “life sucks and then you die,” at least not to me. Life sucked, but it also meant something, even beyond Ash’s relationship with Eiji. Ash’s life had value. Through saving Sing in the story’s climactic battle, and then helping Max with that article that would save other child prostitutes, Ash saved younger versions of himself. That’s powerful. Not only that, but Ash found love and hope in his personal life as well with Eiji, Max, Shorter, etc., and through that genuine happiness. Even if he couldn’t fully grasp it, he knew it was there, and he died knowing there was genuine, true love, and therefore beauty, in the world too. And that, for me, comes across as far more hopeful than surface-level, cheaper happier endings. But still, the fact that Ash couldn’t fully experience this beauty and happiness because of the cycle of violence he had no choice about being involved in, plus a questionable character decision, does leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. (That questionable character decision, with the letter not having a full effect, makes tragedy seem a bit forced on Yoshida’s part.)

I want to quote Arthur Miller’s “Tragedy and the Common Man,” and I’ve highlighted parts I think explain how I feel about Banana Fish and Ash’s character (in particular, why I don’t think a tragic ending necessarily sends a nihilistic message, at least not to me):

The Greeks could probe the very heavenly origin of their ways and return to confirm the rightness of laws. And Job could face God in anger, demanding his right and end in submission. But for a moment everything is in suspension, nothing is accepted, and in this sketching and tearing apart of the cosmos, in the very action of so doing, the character gains "size," the tragic stature which is spuriously attached to the royal or the high born in our minds. The commonest of men may take on that stature to the extent of his willingness to throw all he has into the contest, the battle to secure his rightful place in the world.

There is a misconception of tragedy with which I have been struck in review after review, and in many conversations with writers and readers alike. It is the idea that tragedy is of necessity allied to pessimism. Even the dictionary says nothing more about the word than that it means a story with a sad or unhappy ending. This impression is so firmly fixed that I almost hesitate to claim that in truth tragedy implies more optimism in its author than does comedy, and that its final result ought to be the reinforcement of the onlooker's brightest opinions of the human animal.

For, if it is true to say that in essence the tragic hero is intent upon claiming his whole due as a personality, and if this struggle must be total and without reservation, then it automatically demonstrates the indestructible will of man to achieve his humanity.

The possibility of victory must be there in tragedy. Where pathos rules, where pathos is finally derived, a character has fought a battle he could not possibly have won. The pathetic is achieved when the protagonist is, by virtue of his witlessness, his insensitivity, or the very air he gives off, incapable of grappling with a much superior force.

Pathos truly is the mode for the pessimist. But tragedy requires a nicer balance between what is possible and what is impossible. And it is curious, although edifying, that the plays we revere, century after century, are the tragedies. In them, and in them alone, lies the belief-optimistic, if you will, in the perfectibility of man.

This applies to basically all tragedy, of course, but I think some tragedies are more hopeful than others. And I see that struggle in Ash’s, and a hope in Banana Fish that I don’t see in other more nihilistic stories. Ash fought to reclaim the humanity that people tried to deny him, and through Eiji realized his humanity was there all along. 

Anyways, these are my complicated, all-over-the-place feelings on the ending. It’s fine for people to feel strongly either way, but also understand that when discussing such a heavy, fundamentally triggering work, it’s good to be sensitive to where people are coming from and interact with differing opinions with empathy. Many of us relate to characters like Ash, Eiji, and Yut-Lung, and since you don’t know where someone is coming from, let them express their feelings, and be kind. 

I’ll post another meta on thematic impressions on Banana Fish later. But to each their own. Also please note, again, this is really just my opinion. 

[ansheofthevalley]

I’ve seen a few “book enthusiasts” seriously believe that Dany will burn down KL and then find redemption in the battle against the dead later on. And during the battle of Winterfell, Dany, Jon and Tyrion will each ride a dragon. I’m sorry, but that entire thing sounds very silly to me. How could she possibly be redeemed after killing hundreds of thousands of people at once? And Tyrion? (a pretty vile book character) will be a “hero” at Winterfell? What?! Is any of this strange to you too?

Hi nonny! I’ll devide the ask in two parts. 

But to answer your question, no, I don’t find it strange. Simply because Jon, Daenerys and Tyrion are three of the most popular characters of the saga (if not the three most popular). But being the most popular doesn’t mean they’ll have a hero’s journey or that they’ll end up being the heroes in the end (especially in Dany and Tyrion’s case).

Dany’s redemption

I’ve seen this theory float around. But from what I’ve seen, I think it leans more on the redemptive death trope. Think Darth Vader in the third act of Return of the Jedi. So let’s say that Dany burns KL. After doing so, she has some sort of epiphany about how she turned out to be the very thing she was fighting against. And to even the scales a bit, she does something selfless: she goes North to fight the Others without expecting anything in return. But since she commited mass murder and no act that bad can go unpunished, she dies for the greater good, thus “earning” redemption. I think the theory goes like that or at least that’s my interpretation of it.

Thematically, Dany’s arc parallels the history of her ancestors. The Targaryens (and the Velaryons) fled Valyria (an empire built with fire, blood and slaves) before the Doom (a natural disaster that might have some connection to magic destroying the largest empire in the known world in a single day). Years later, Aegon began his conquest of Westeros with his sisters and their dragons (Fire and Blood). The Targaryen dynasty ruled for 300 years with dragons and the famous Targaryen Exceptionalism to keep everyone in check. But the Targaryen dynasty ended with Robert’s Rebellion. Only two Targaryens survived (three if you count Jon). Targaryen history is deeply linked with hubris. Every time they’re set on building an empire, it ultimately ends up badly for them, either by a supernatural cause or by human conflict. In terms of narrative, Dany has links to the history of both the Valyria of old and the Targaryen dynasty. That’s why I think her end in the books will be similar to the Valyrians/Targaryens, only that her end will be a bit of both: her arc is about conquering, it’s political, but it’s also magical because of her dragons. So the conflict that might end up in her death could start as a war (the westerosi lords resisting her rule), but when (I say when because it’s practically a given she’ll burn KL) she burns KL with her dragons, it could somehow parallel the Doom. 

In a general sense, ASOIAF’s ending will be the same as GOT’s. So that means Dany will die. It’s the how that we still don’t know. I don’t think Jon will actually kill her in the books (I have my thoughts on how Dany’s death scene played out but I won’t get into them since it will be a lot and that’s not what you asked, nonny). I believe she will die when she burns KL. Fire cannot kill a dragon, but wildfire might...

Daenerys, Jon and Tyrion as the three dragonriders

This theory is very popular and one of the first ones from the fandom, if I’m correct. It connects to the whole “the dragon must have three heads” speech. A lot of people that believe in this theory also believe in the “Tyrion is Aerys’ bastard” theory. It’s basically about Targaryen Exceptionalism.

I personally don’t believe in the theory for a number of reasons. 

First of all, it’s been confirmed (from a Doylist POV) what the Song of Ice and Fire means: Ice and Fire are the threats Westeros face from north of the Wall (in the form of the Others) and from the far east in Essos (in the form of Daenerys and her dragons), respectively. Still talking from a Doylist POV, I don’t see how one of the threats can be absolute evil while the other can be conceived as “good”. That certainly happens from a Watsonian POV. That’s why Daenerys and House Targaryen as a whole are so popular. The threat they represent is oftentimes veiled, hidden behind POV traps and the very well crafted notion of Targaryen Exceptionalism.

Secondly, I don’t believe there will be any other dragonriders apart from Dany, except maybe for f!Aegon and Jon. The thing about dragonriders is that 1) they rely on bonding with the dragon and 2) most of the time (but not always) only a Targaryen could ride them. So, it’s not like you could just hop on and go for a ride. Take the Dance of the Dragons, for example. The Dragonseeds (Non-Targaryen dragonriders) were baseborn people. But even the dragonseeds are questioned, some believing them to have valyrian ancestry. That was the whole thing about Targaryens committing incest, so they could be the only ones to control the dragons.

Thirdly, and going back to my first argument, the dragons are not perceived as a good force of nature. Quite the opposite, actually. GRRM has referred to them time and time again as WMD. GRRM has said that the dragons represent power, but the power they represent is not the kind you build upon. The dragons represent destructive power.

Lastly, the “three heads of the dragon” are tied to TPTWP prophecy and as we know, prophecies are not what they seem in the world of ASOIAF. From a Watsonian POV, they can be tricky because characters involved with prophecy make important (sometimes game-changing) choices based on their interpretations of certain prophecies. And those interpretations turn up to be wrong or inconclusive because prophecies are not as straight-forward as the characters believe. From a Doylist POV, prophecies can be used as a device to make the characters make a fatal error which ends in their undoing. Rhaegar is a perfect example of Hamartia in ASOIAF. He was obsessed with TPTWP prophecy. He was convinced that the Promised Prince would come from his line. So, when he married Elia Martell, he was dead set on having three kids: TPTWP and two more that would help him, since “the dragon must have three heads” (again, Targaryen Exceptionalism). Since Elia wasn’t healthy enough to give Rhaegar a third child, he kidnapped Lyanna Stark and raped her (yes, I’m saying he raped her since she was 14/15 years old and he was a grown-ass adult, thus making it statutory rape, even if she gave consent) so he could get the third head of the dragon. As we all know, this is the reason why Rickard and Brandon Stark went to KL, where the Mad King killed them both and demanded the heads of Ned Stark and Robert Baratheon, thus initiating Robert’s Rebellion and ultimately ending the Targaryen dynasty. All the choices Rhaegar made, he made them while having the prophecy in mind. All those choices led to his death, the death of his family and the end of Targaryen rule in Westeros. All of this could be considered a fatal error if we keep in mind that Rhaegar could’ve been wrong about TPTWP prophecy. And Rhaegar is just one of many, many characters connected to this prophecy. In the present, you have Daenerys and Stannis as the two clearest examples of characters that might be going down Rhaegar’s path.

As for Tyrion, there’s just no way he’ll end up being a hero. People just assume that because they see show!Tyrion as a(n overall) faithful adaptation of his book counterpart, which is simply not true, like, at all. Book!Tyrion is a rapist, a sexual molester and vicious. He’s a very dark character, always after what’s best for himself. GRRM himself has described him as a villain. So no, Tyrion won’t be a hero in the books. He won’t be the voice of reason. Like, show!Tyrion from s4 to s8? Don’t expect him to appear in the books, simply because that’s not how GRRM writes him.

Thanks for the ask!

[jangoandtheclones]

some little thoughts on tros

(spoilers, for who hasn’t seen it)

(also these are my opinions and i am not stating anything in a “i am right about everything” sort of way, nor will i argue or get mad at anyone who thinks differently or was perfectly happy with how the movie turned out) (let’s just be nice to one another and discuss things peacefully, it’s fine if we don’t agree on everything but we’re all in this fandom together, you know?)

(also this is all over the place and just rambling, i apologise)

Overall I had an enjoyable time watching TROS. I did have a few problems here and there, but there were things I liked.

I was actually very interested in the Palpatine revelation, and I thought the scenes between him and Rey (and Ben when he finally showed up) were very cool.

I could also get behind a Kylo Ren/Ben Solo redemption arc, and even though there are probably other ways they could have gone about doing it, I’m not terribly unhappy with how they did it. I actually really liked that scene between him and Han, mirroring the scene in TFA where he kills him, I thought it was nice and I’m a sucker for cinematic parallels (I have no idea if that’s the right term, if it is not I would appreciate it if someone corrected me). I also got big-time Han Solo vibes off Ben when he ran in to fight people with A SINGLE BLASTER. And that little shrug when Rey Force-teleports the lightsaber to him was fun, idk. I was always pretty interested in the character, I’m not too unhappy with how he turned out, buuuuuuut...

...while I can imagine the kiss at the end being maybe a “oh my god thank you for saving me” thing rather than a “I love you romantically let’s get married” sort of thing if I really try to look at it that way, it still feels quite forced to me. I always saw Kylo’s behaviour toward Rey in the previous two movies as more manipulative to try and gain a powerful ally he had a Force connection with, rather than attempts at gaining her affections or whatever. Heck, I even considered desperation at the thought of gaining an ally that could help him get away from Snoke and rule the galaxy (I haven’t watched TLJ recently, this may have been exactly what he said he wanted, so if that is the case, nevermind!). Basically, I just never at any point could see Kylo actually liking Rey, and I especially could never see Rey liking him. I could see Rey feeling pity, maybe, as he’s clearly tormented and brainwashed by Snoke (or Palpatine, as this movie revealed), but romance? I’ve seen people compare Kylo/Ben many times to Mr. Darcy (you know, Pride & Prejudice) and I feel like people often miss out on the fact that Darcy didn’t torture Elizabeth for information, nor did he kill her friends, nor was he known previously for mass murder, you know?

Also, Poe Dameron’s suddenly revealed past as a spice-runner? I only have two of the Poe Dameron comics (which I thought were canon material?) and I was wondering if this was ever brought up in later issues? The spice-runner thing seems to come out of nowhere and just felt really out of place to me, I didn’t really like it. It didn’t feel like it fit his established character, I felt like they were trying to turn him into a new character and it didn’t feel right to me, I couldn’t get into it. I wasn’t too happy with the way Poe was treated in TLJ, but in TROS I just felt uncomfortable with how his character was handled.

I liked Poe’s funny moments (”I KNEW IT!” is still echoing in my ears and shall continue to do so for many weeks to come), but the spice-runner thing... I just don’t get why this was added. Any of his knowledge on “shady” things didn’t seem weird to me at all for a character who regularly goes on dangerous missions, sometimes secretly, I honestly don’t feel like “oh yeah he was a space drug dealer” does anything to explain how he can basically hotwire a starfighter or whatever. I’m curious to hear what other people thought of his characterisation in this film, I’m open to having my mind changed, but I am genuinely not happy with this at the moment. Also, the addition of a possible former flame was unexpected to me too (though I will admit, his little flirty look at the end followed by her shaking her head “no” was kind of funny). 

Finn deserved better, as usual... I like the thought of him meeting other former stormtroopers, he got a “It’s not just me!” moment and I thought that was awesome (and the thought of Lando taking these poor kids out to find out where they’re from warms my heart so much). And oh my goodness, Force-sensitive Finn is something I have been waiting for and expecting since the beginning... But I feel like there is so much more he could have been doing, he’s such a good character and I feel like he isn’t given enough to work with.

Honestly, would love to see Finn as a Jedi one day, that shot of John Boyega on Starkiller Base with Luke’s lightsaber in The Force Awakens is still one of my favourite moments in this trilogy.

I liked Rose Tico and I wish she had more to do in this film. She got more hate than she deserved in TLJ and Kelly Marie Tran is a diamond.

Finally, I like the idea of Hux being so frustrated with having to answer to a highly unstable space wizard with a laser sword, and trying to help out the opposing side simply to spite him. BUT, I feel it could have been handled differently? Maybe his character could be a little smarter about it? I feel like he had the right space villain motivation, but he was kinda stupid about it, and the movie kinda threw this revelation at us and then ended it almost immediately. Idk, I don’t know too much about Hux except for that his first name is Armitage and he’s an evil Bill Weasley, maybe it was perfectly in character.

Overall, I had a fun time. I would have liked a few things to have been different, even if I’m not sure how I personally would have changed them right now, but overall I don’t regret having seen the movie.

If you read, feel free to disagree with anything (or even everything!), but please don’t get mad at me and please explain or argue your points in a civil manner, I see too many people argue and insult each other over what they liked and didn’t like in these movies.

Also, thanks for reading! ♡

[bonesgadh]

I’m thinking more on your response -we are very likeminded. BookArya is an extrovert, but she has lived so many of her formative years amongst regular people. Gendry has always been a commoner well into adulthood. I don’t see the hierarchical crap of being Lord and Lady as having any appeal. I think both would want to be helpful to the people living around them, every day in little ways. Another reason I can’t imagine them in a castle is the complete lack of privacy. These are two people who’ve

2) had little reason to trust people over the years. Having to trust household servants, castle guards, minor lords -it sounds like some kind of gendrya fresh hell. I can see them getting married for this reason: given both of their lineages, they will each have the potential of being forced into an arranged marriage. I could see her siblings convincing her for both her and Gendry’s long term good.

3. Do you also feel you need a little more clarity on how things are between she and Jon? I’ve always thought they would love each other and those early memories so dearly, but when meeting up and discovering how much has happened, that being around each otheris just too bittersweet. In my mind, and as you said Gendry knew her when she was already changing due to hardship, this sets her up for having her new pack: Gendry and kids. Stark Siblings are too haunted by the past to be that pack now.

It’s true Arya’s statement of “I’m not a lady” comes from a position of privilege. She gets to make a choice because she was born a lord’s daughter so it’s kind of easy for her to say she doesn’t want that kind of life. However, Arya lived as a highborn until she was eleven and lived as a commoner for approximately six years—from the moment she left King’s Landing to season 7 when she returned to Winterfell—which kind of gives her enough elements to say she’d rather not lead a live of luxury and wealth but something simpler instead.

Arya doesn’t care about social differences and despite being raised a highborn she sees everyone as her equals. She is not comfortable with being hierarchically above most people around her and she is rather humble. She has a very kind heart, she is protective and just and she doesn’t like it when people in a position of power abuse those who can’t defend themselves. She’s the people’s champion after all, isn’t she? I remember lots of fans began calling her that after 8x03. Well, her personality fits this nickname.

As for Gendry—he and Arya are very similar. They are both protective and kindhearted and, just like Arya has issues with being a highborn, he has issues with being a lowborn. Despite this Gendry never showed any interest or ambition in having lands or gold or a title, the only thing he wanted was a family and to belong somewhere. This is why I think the best ending for him would have been accepting the Baratheon surname but giving up Storm’s End, because the life of a lord in peaceful times is way too passive for a guy like him who is used to doing things. He would gladly retire to the woods or to a small village with Arya and work as a smith and, like you say, they would both help the common people every day in little ways.

I agree with them not being comfortable with the lack of privacy. Gendry is used to people not giving a damn about him and doing things on his own and Arya is very independent. They are both very private and having servants and people following them around everywhere would be a bit invasive for them. I don’t know about the lack of trust, though. Arya permanently being in fight-or-flight mode was understandable because she was in constant danger but she’s not anymore so her being distrustful of everyone around her is kind of pointless if you ask me. Her distrust is one of the things that annoyed me the most about season 8, the “I don’t need many allies” line. It makes me cringe.

If Sansa never gets married I can see people putting some pressure on Arya to marry and have children. However I don’t imagine Arya giving up and accepting to marry only because people ask her to. I wish we had seen her reacting to her mother promising Walder Frey she would marry one of her sons, there’s no way she would have accepted without putting on a fight. 

I think something similar would happen with Gendry as well. We caught a glimpse of how romantic he is and marrying someone else because he has to? Nope, he’s too stubborn for that. If they eventually get married they will do it out of love.

Just like Gendry reminds Arya of the person she used to be before everything went to shit, Jon reminds her of her life in Winterfell. Of the happy times with her parents, her other siblings and her home. I definitely don’t imagine them picking things where they left off because Jon has also had his share of trauma, but we were denied of a scene of them sharing with each other what they had been through in the years they were apart. 

D&D wanted to show some sort of parallel between Arya and Nymeria with the whole “that’s not you/that’s not me” stuff. Nymeria was forced to run away from Arya, to leave her siblings and her home behind. Arya was forced to leave her siblings, her parents and her home behind as well. Nymeria found a pack that was meant to replace the pack she lost. Following this logic it made complete sense for Arya to get a new pack of her own, with Gendry and her kids, and it proves a point of how D&D can’t write for shit because they kinda forgot the own parallels they established a few episodes before.

By this I don’t mean to say she can’t be with her family anymore because she doesn’t belong or something like that, on the contrary. Arya will always be Arya Stark of Winterfell. I would say her having her own family it’s just the natural way of life, but that doesn’t mean she can’t connect with her “original” family anymore, especially since her ties with them are extremely strong (despite D&D choosing to ignore this by having her leave them to go to the end of the world).

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #218

“give me liberty or death. ... ah, fuck it, just give me death.”

Do you know anyone who had to have tubes put in their ears as a baby? Me. What is the nearest glass object to you? A cup. Were either of your parents baptized? I'm sure my mom was, but I have no clue about Dad. The last concert that you were at, was there a mosh pit? No. What was the last computer game that you played? World of Warcraft. If you had to choose a new cell phone, what phone would you pick? Some sort of iPhone. I hate my Samsung. Has anyone killed one of your pets before? People have run over our cats before, but I'm certain that wasn't intentional. Does your bathroom have a theme to it? No. Are any rooms in your house themed? No. Is there a song that as soon as you hear it you are happier? At least to a degree. Do you have a push lawnmower or a riding lawnmower? We don't have one; Mom pays someone to do it. He uses a riding one, though. When was the last time someone teased you? Idr. Would you trust a vehicle that automatically parallel parks for you? Lmao could probably do it better than I could. Have you ever hit a car while parking? No, but I rarely drive anyway and never park close to others. When you are eating fast food, do you tend to get burgers or chicken? Burgers. When was the last time you used Microsoft Excel? No clue. What was the last thing that you recorded? I was WAY too excited the rare felhound mount dropped for me in WoW so I had to show Sara while I screamed lmao. Have you ever edited an article on Wikipedia? No. Do you like the show Futurama? I've never been into what I've seen. Have you ever found an arrow head? I don't remember ever having had. Have you given up any bad habits for someone? Don't think so. Who is with you? My cat's in the room, as is of course Venus. In what part of your life so far, have you learnt the most about yourself? 2017-2018, probably. Have you ever been in a fist fight? No. What aggravates you most about people in general? I guess if you want to put all humans together, I guess you never know what's gonna hurt who. When they have a valid reason to be hurt by it, anyway. Are your ears pierced? Twice in each lobe and then my right tragus. What did you last say out loud? Something to Teddy about wanting so much attention. Not at all in a bad way. Do you like anything about being angry? Fuck no. Did you have a summer job this year? No. Where do you wish you were? I've been dying to be at Sara's BAD LATELY MY MAN. Do you get surprises often? No, nor do I like them. I get too nervous. Name a crime you have committed? Illegally downloading things. Do you tell people when they get on your nerves? No, not normally. You're in jail… Who bails you out? Dad, most likely, taking money into account. I don't even know if he could afford bailing someone out, though. Are your feelings hurt easily? YEAH. What’s the ultimate cake topping? Just frosting. Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? No. Do you ever forward or reply to chain mails? Never. Have you ever tried to make your own alcohol? Nope. If you were to join one of the armed forces, which would it be? Lol no. Have you ever been to see stand up comedy? No. Have you ever needed stitches? At least twice. Have you ever been in a submarine? No. What would you do if someone proposed to you tomorrow? I'd say no, even if it was Sara. We're not ready for that yet. Which fictional character do you wish was real? Sobs all my favorites of everything are villains and therefore shouldn't be brought to life. Uhhhh. Idk. Maybe Harry Mason from SH 'cuz the entire human population deserves a dad like that. Do you own a lava lamp? I wish. Have you ever been in a hot tub or sauna? Yes to hot tub, but you couldn't pay me to set foot in a sauna. Have you ever had chicken pox? No. Do you believe there used to be dragons? No. We would've found fossil evidence by now, I think. Who’s your favorite god from ancient history? Man, idk. I love mythology. But memory is pretty faint though so I don't remember what most did/what they stand for. What was the last present you received? Uhhhh I'm not sure. Could you go out with someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No. I am not being a mother figure for anyone. What was your first alcoholic drink? Hard lemonade. What was your first detention for? I've only ever had detention for excessive tardies. Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid? No. Have you ever appeared on YouTube? EW LET'S FORGET THAT. Have you ever been on radio? No. Do you like your own name? I do. Could you ever have an affair with a married person? Fuck no. Could you ever split up a couple for one reason or another? I mean I'd urge one to leave the other if they were abusive or not really in love or something like that. I wouldn't out of my own interests. Which celebrity do you find the most annoying? The Paul brothers are fucking obnoxious trash. Is there anyone you work with that you don’t get along with? Why? N/A Have you ever been romantically interested in a coworker? No. Have you ever been romantically involved with a coworker? No. What is the game you’re currently playing most often on your phone? None. Do you have an opinion on adopting/purchasing a pet? Adopt. I understand the temptation of wanting a certain breed of pet, but you've gotta think beyond your desires here. There are so, so, SO many homeless cats and dogs especially that need homes. When was the last time you climbed a tree? Never, I believe. Why were you last pulled over? I never have been, thank GOD. Do you have any friends that own a private lake? I can just about guarantee no. Are you cool with swimming in a lake? It would depend on the lake. Do you have a drone? No. Do you have any t-shirts from any local businesses? No. Do you listen to any talk shows or podcasts? Only Mark's and his friends'. Do you know anyone who’s had their own podcast? I don't think so. Where were you the last time you stayed in a hotel? The beach. Do you know anyone who is freaked out by cats? No. What kind of music do your parents listen to? Mom loves (classic) metal and rock like me, but she also enjoys Christian music. Dad likes rock and classic metal/rock. What do you do when you can’t escape thoughts of your ex? I mean, I'm a bad person to ask, because my PTSD is tied to my ex. My case is far more extreme. All you really can do is try to do things to distract yourself. What do you think about indoor pets? Love 'em. How it should be most of the time for most animals. Would you agree that love is blind? Very. Did your first real significant other change you at all? Yes. Are you waiting to have sex until you’re married? I don't think so, if I was to ever be in that situation with a man again. How many schools have you been to? Five, but I'm about to start my sixth. Do any songs give you goosebumps? I get goosebumps very, VERY easily when it comes to music. I don't even have to really like the song. What do you think about divorce? Sadly necessary in extreme cases. What’s your favorite way to eat peanut butter? In a Reese's lol. Do you still watch any cartoons meant for kids? I don't watch TV now, but if I was still into watching shows, I'd totally still follow Pokemon. What’s your favorite kind of cereal? Man, idk. Maybe Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What were you doing the last time you were on a roof? Just sitting up there. Do you have any stickers on your car? Mom has I think one? Have you ever given someone flowers? I'll always remember this one Mother's Day where I went down our old path with my sister and friend and we picked up SO many flowers to put in a glass cup as a bouquet for Mom. So yeah. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Do you listen to Nirvana? I don't usually search them out, but they're on my iPod, and I won't generally skip 'em if a Nirvana song comes along. What is one thing stopping you from becoming a veterinarian? I hate seeing animals in pain and/or dying. Are you easily scared by horror movies? Not at all. How old were you when you were first pulled over by the police? I've never been pulled over. When was the last time you drank out of a champagne glass? I've no idea. Do you enjoy plane journeys, if you’ve ever been on one? If we're just talking the ride and not the process leading up to it, and so long I've the window seat, yeah, they're fine. What’s the last movie you’ve seen in theaters and can honestly say you enjoyed? I adored the live action TLK, truly and thoroughly. I didn't at all get the hate. Like I know a common criticism is they took the realism too far (they were lacking in expression), but I liked that, honestly. It made it feel all the more real. I mean honestly, I possibly liked it more than the animated (save for the "Be Prepared" singing), and that movie is sacred to me. Have you ever seen your father cry? I've only seen him tear up like once in my life. How would your parents react if you got pregnant? They'd be confused as fuck because I'm the polar opposite of promiscuous, monogamous, advise that to only happen after marriage, and am with a girl. If you’re in a relationship, how is it going? If you’re single, are you looking for someone? It's going great. We're just ready to no longer be long-distance. How big is your bed? Queen-sized. Do you believe the Holocaust happened? No??????????? fucking????????????????? shit??????????????????????????????? Ever spent any time on a military base? No. Have you ever tried putting black pepper on mac ‘n’ cheese? (It’s good!) Yes, delicious. Has a wild animal ever been loose in your house? Not our current house. We lived in the woods beforehand, and we did have mild mice problems in the winter. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. Have you ever seen a volcano? Not in person. Are you a fan of Janis Joplin? I've actually never really listened to her. Have you ever mowed the lawn (even a little bit)? No. What’s the closest river to you? The Tar River. Don't mind sharing considering it's ginormous. Who were the last 3 males you talked to? My nephew, his dad, then my own dad. What was the last form of communication you used to speak to your best friend? (e.g. text message, phone call) Text. What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Uhhhh I think some kind of white wine? Did you like it? Not in the slightest. What’s your favorite feature of the person you’re currently interested in? She has the cutest random little freckle on her hip. Do you remember the first CD you ever bought? I believe the first I personally wanted and got was the Swan Songs album by Hollywood Undead. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You have NOT lived until you've eaten Bojangle's fries. They have a special seasoning that is absolutely spectacular. The Bojangle's experience is so important that it's the first place we went when Sara first came here lmao. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Don't believe so. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. What is your favorite gaming console? PS2, always. What was the last major city you visited? Chicago. I mean, or Raleigh, if you count it as a "major" one. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? I only really consider Jason and Sara as "romantic" relationships. Have you ever used a leaf blower? No. What would you say is the worst part of high school, period? The shift from child to young adult. Hormones make the experience so, so much more difficult than it needs to be. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? Red. They're usually the most crisp. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? It'd either be Mom or Sara, definitely. I can't really say without being in that moment, idk. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? Fuck no. I've only ever done it once and never will again, even though the one occasion went fine. Who was the last person to call you fat, if anyone at all? Myself lmao. What color skin does the last person you danced with have? White. Has your mother ever called your school because of your grades? No. What is the worst name a friend has ever called you? Do you remember? I can promise you one has most certainly called me a bitch or worse. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? At the start of high school, I remember I'd sometimes daydream about being a guitarist, but it was never something I like, actively craved. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? *blinks* Do you ever call your cousins just to talk to them randomly? No. When did you last spend the night at someone’s house? December of last year. Do you ever have to wash your clothes at someone else’s house? If I'm at Sara's. Do you prefer it when it gets darker earlier? NO. I'm much unlike I used to be in that I prefer brightness. It actually does affect my mood; I recommend to aaaaanybody who suffers from depression to stay in a bright room. I used to live in the dark as well, and I promise, it makes a difference. Have you ever learned any self-defense? If not, would you be interested in learning? No, and yes, especially with how incredibly paranoid I am. Do you like Gushers? Yaaaaas hunty. Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No. When was the last time you felt like you didn’t have anything to worry about? LOL HUH??????? NO WORRIES??????? How old was the last child that you spoke to? Three. What is the name of the last perfume you put on? "Crazy Lady." That perfume is years upon YEARS old. It was a birthday present from Summer, and seeing as I barely ever wear perfume, it's still in my room. Expired, I'm sure, lol. Are you waiting for something to arrive in the mail? No. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Do you like your orange juice with lots or no pulp? NONONONONONONO. I absolutely will not drink orange juice with pulp. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I think so? How long have you had the hairbrush you are currently using? I use a comb now that we've had actually forever. What projects are you doing now for school? I'm not in school, not quite yet anyway. :') Do you know what durian is? Do you like it? No. I would never try it. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I don't know, and I don't plan on looking. Most likely some selfie. Do you like coconut flavored things? NO. Coconut is disgusting. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't think so, and I truly hope not... How often do you get a fever? Like, never. What kind of laundry basket do you use? It's just a plain, white, plastic one. As a child, did you ever have a clown or a magician at your birthday parties? I actually believe I had both. I know I had a pair of clowns once, and with how into magic I was, I would expect I've had had one. Do you have a permit or license? I have my permit. It's more than due time I work more towards my license... List all the stores you’ve been in this past month. I think the only one is PetSmart. Have you ever thrown food at a stranger in a movie theater? No, because I was never that childish. Does/did either of your parents serve in the military? No. Do you like sour candy? My favorite! Where would you like to go on your honeymoon? Most likely Pink Sands Beach in the Bahamas, but honestly I'm terrified of the Bermuda Triangle, so that's unlikely, lmao. That black sand beach in Hawaii, however, will do. Are all nighters something you have grown used to? BIIIIIIITCH I've outgrown that shit. I'm rarely up past 10 at the latest these days. Is there anybody you’re not ashamed to tell anything to? Anything, no. Smoothies or slushies? Slushies. Ignoring nutrition, could you live off veggies for the rest of your life? Nooooooo. Elaborate on a way you have volunteered? I once volunteered at PetSmart during an adoption event, giving the cats and dogs attention while people visited. I absolutely fell in LOVE with a dog there that I begged Mom to get, and she came pretty close. I cried leaving, ha ha... Does anybody know about your sex life other than your partners? No. If you could see any musician live, front row, who would you choose? Um, Ozzy????? Duh??????? My Dad???????? Is great?????????????? If you had to choose between a million dollars or to be able to change a regret? And here you have it, the stupidest question I've seen on a survey. Have you ever been around someone who was high? Yeah. Could you handle living with a male roommate? No, with how afraid I am of men. It'd only work if it was with a long-time bf. Have you spoken to your mother today? Father? For once, both. Do you live by yourself? No. Do you shower every day? No, it's unhealthy and I don't find every day necessary. Especially when you live my hermit life. Is English your native language? Yes. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? N/A Do you watch PewDiePie? Very, very rarely. I'm not that into his content anymore, and his humor changed from more original to heavily meme-ish. Are you married? No. Did you ever color your hair pink? No, but totally not apposed. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? Yeah, some. Do you salt your popcorn? Sadly. Do you like McDonalds? Don't even try to bullshit, you don't mind McD's. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. It's a cool series though, and I enjoy watching LPs of it. Do you like horror movies? YESSSSSS my favorite. Is your favorite animal a dog? No. Do you like chicken nuggets? mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMM What color is the ceiling in the room? White. Do you like religion? It's interesting, but has done a shitload of evil. However, it has also made wonderful people. It depends on how you use it. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yeah. Can you twerk? Idk and idc. Do you like dabbing? It looks remarkably stupid/like you're sneezing into your elbow. Do you like fishing? I do, but I've stopped doing it. I feel too bad for the fish. Do you like sleeping? Oh fuck yeah. What do you think of Fifty Shades of Grey? Fucking disgusting, whether in book or movie format. Do you swear in front of children? No. Which Pirates of the Caribbean do you like the most? Never watched 'em. What do you think of Rob Zombie? I enjoy a lot of his music. How far out of your age bracket would you date? Once you hit 10 years, it's a no for me. Have you ever had an STD? No. Is the area you live in more liberal or conservative? I live in the South. Take a wild guess. Have you picked out flower petals, saying, ‘He loves me, he loves me not?' No. Do you like to pace? It's not that I "like" to, it's just a habit. What’s the greatest thing about science? Learning about the world around us. Discovering how life works. Does it annoy you when people dumb themselves down to be cool? It's not "annoying," it's just stupid. Intelligence is cool. What’s a song you like from the genre you hate? "When The Stars Go Blue" by Tim McGraw is a heavy exception. I adore that song. Are your parents divorced? Yeah, they separated when I was like, 16-17. Who was your first friend? Brianna. Have you ever been to Germany? Hell, I wish. What do you hear right now? I'm currently obsessed with "Brand New Numb" by Motionless In White. Have you ever been ice skating? No. Have you ever been to the Statue of Liberty? No. Would you consider yourself a shy person? I am one of the shyest people you will ever meet in your life. Do you like techno? Yeah, actually. I've really gotten into electronic music. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Can you whistle? No. My lip ring is probably what makes me unable to anymore. How many X-rays have you had in the last 2 years? Three. One of my knees, then over the course of two years, I believe two for my teeth at the dentist. Are you on good terms with your last ex? Yeah. Do you own an Xbox? No. Favorite Snapchat filter? I've never used Snapchat before. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. What’s the worst thing you have ever done? Depends on how you mean "worst." Most damaging to me, let myself turn Jason into a god in my head and nearly kill myself for it. As far as most immoral, probably be partially responsible for why my former best friend and her bf broke up because he wound up liking me because I was a dumb 12 y/o. What's your favorite candle scent? Probably coffee or cinnamon rolls. Do you take any medications daily? Yeah. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) An annoying combo. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) A small one. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Yes, I hate my last name. Last person you called? Mom. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I don't like sprinkles at all. The texture ruins treats. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom, I'm sure. Do you think vlogging in public is scary? I wouldn't say "scary," just incredibly awkward. You'd never see me do it. Would you want to be in a collab channel on YouTube? I don't even want to risk popularity, so no. Do you watch any collab channels? Which ones? Game Grumps and Sam & Colby, mainly. What colors have you dyed your hair, if any? Black, purple, and red. What is your gender and sexual orientation? Female and bisexual. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? No, but they seem REALLY fun. Ever performed on stage? Was it scary or amazing or both? Yeah, many times for dance. It was really neither for me. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. Have you tried the Beyond or Impossible burger? Thoughts? No, but I want to, especially as I plan on returning to vegetarianism at one point. When was the last time you ate your all-time favorite candy? Oh wow, months. When was the last time you made friends with old enemies? Some time last year, Rachel and I reconnected. She's cool as hell now. When was the last time you took time to pray? It's been a long time. I don't believe it does anything. What is a movie that you heard about recently that you do NOT want to see? Is that "Cats" movie real or was the trailer a fever dream???? What do you do during long trips in the car? I just blare music. Best kind of music to dance to? And the worst kind of music to dance to? I really love "different" songs that warrant a modern sort of dance style. It was my favorite when I took dance, and it's by far my favorite to watch. Worst, I guess like, screamo. How would you dance???? Last candy you tried that you did not enjoy? Or one that you did enjoy? Oh my god. So I tried that new Reese's doughnut from Krispy Kreme today, and it. Was. Repulsive. A candy I actually liked, idk. I rarely ever have treats anymore. Were you a chubby or thin baby? I was normal. Have you ever not given a tip at a restaurant? Why didn’t you? N/A, y'all know my money situation. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve considered doing lately? Okay, I'll admit I at least briefly pondered the possibility of getting a nipple pierced after an eternity of saying I never would lmao. I'm not, tho. Have you ever known somebody who ran away? Most likely. What are your thoughts on Batman? I think it's cool he has that policy of never killing anyone, and he also doesn't have any actual powers, does he? I don't remember. The whole Batman universe (or comics for that matter) is one I don't really connect to anymore, as it was Jason's obsession, so it's a dangerous topic for me. When I say Dr. Seuss, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Green Eggs and Ham. I loooved that book as a kid. Rollercoasters that go upside down… yes please or no thank you? Hell to the motherfuckin no thanks. Is there a certain place or store you especially hate going to? Grocery stores. What was the last animal/pet that you met? There was a BEAUTIFUL standard poodle Mom and I briefly interacted with at the pet store a week or so back. Is there something in particular you always seem to forget? Straighten the shower curtain after I get out so it dries properly. When was the last time you had to wait in line for longer than a few minutes? *shrugs* Have you ever written a review for a product you bought online? No. What was the last board game you played? I think it was all the way back when Sara, Girt, and I played Scrabble.

[davidmann95]

This Superman guy's pretty great, huh?

Okay. Figured I’d write this at somepoint, seems like as good a place as any to do it.

Yes: Superman is pretty great. The character’s great,the costume’s great, the cast is great, the powers are great, the scope of thekind of adventures you can tell with him is great, the mythology’s great, thepower he has to inspire on the page and in the real world is great. I’ve known that since I was…I dunno,three? Two? I’m told he was my first three-syllable word. I’m not sure what myfirst exposure would have been; Supermanthe Animated Series was airing when I was a kid, my dad had the Fleischercartoons on tape, we’d watch reruns of TheAdventures of Superman whenever they aired, I had some odd issues of Superman Adventures, I had picture bookslike The True Story of Superman, Superman: Slippery When Bad and I Hate Superman!, I even had an abridgedversion of John Byrne’s Man of Steel manyyears before I would change my tune on it. It was well past the whole nineyards of lunchboxes and Superman-themed birthday parties - mom and dad wereLois-Mom and Jimmy-Dad for a bit, who got a call one time from a teacher inpreschool that I had dramatically taken off my shirt to show the temporaryS-Shield tattoo I’d gotten on my chest. My dad ended up having to drive toevery Burger King in the area asking for any spare Superman toys because Icouldn’t stand that they had been discontinued before I could get them all andI was making life hell for everyone in the process. I couldn’t play Supermanwith other kids on the playground, because I’d demand we recreate the scriptsof adventures verbatim.

Around seven or thereabouts though,while I never developed any of the disdain towards him that so many seem tohave, I drifted away for a while towards Batman and Spider-Man. Purely bycoincidence, this is also the age I was diagnosed with Asperger’s.

It’s not something I talk about agreat deal these days. Not because of some sense of shame, to be as clear aspossible about that right upfront. It isn’t even a matter of my especiallybeing able to pass as neurotypical - take me out of my comfort zone into anynumber of common social circumstances and that illusion falls by the wayside.But I’ve carved out I feel a pretty decent niche where I’m typically fairlysatisfied and able to function at a level that meets my own standards, and as aresult it’s usually background radiation of my life, not something that comesup unbidden until a situation demands I start thinking about it again. Even when I do, thinking about it much often leaves me feeling self-conscious and self-indulgent, and convinced I’m either being stupidly self-aggrandizing or stupidly self-pitying about it.

So naturally, even once I reallystarted to get back into Superman in earnest at 13 alongsidecomics in general and he became my favorite character in earnest, there are some associations it took me awhile to make.

I’m not quite certain when Istarted to think about it, but the structure of how I thought about it I know came about thanks to @postcardsfromspace‘s (excellent) article I See Your Value Now on learningabout their own Asperger’s. I doubt it’s an association any creators for thecharacter have given any thought (aside from maybe Mark Waid, given that in an interview on Birthright he specifically noted how his idea for Martha Kentbecoming a UFO buff in response to her son was meant as a parallel to parentsof kids with autism having to become self-taught experts on the subject), andall a Google search immediately turns up is comparing a young Clark’s troubleswith his X-Ray vision in Man of Steelto sensory overload in children with autism. It’s not something that would havelikely even occurred to me if it wasn’t for that…well, that I have Asperger’s,and Superman’s a special interest, and as a default I’m always ready on somelevel to connect any input I get back to him.

Obviously, there’s Clark himself.He screams it, right? Likely just because of a general conflation of ‘nerd’traits with ‘Aspie’ traits, but it’s all there right on the surface: shy,awkward, naïve, can’t read a room to save his life, unaware of some generalsocial conventions given his penchant for drab suits, horn-rimmed glasses andfedoras well into the 21st century, either without many friends orlocked into a rigid and small social circle, by all appearances more alivebehind a screen than he ever is to anyone’s face. Even the more confident takeson him, such as in the Reeves TV show or the New 52 Action Comics, seem to lack a social grace or two, seem to grate onthe people around him. Precision-constructed by the greatest man to ever liveto be beneath the notice of his peers in every way imaginable, of course you end up with that guy.

…except even when Clark’s purely apost-Smallville construct on Superman’s part, he’s not made out of nothing, ishe? The Kansas boy who grew up reading ATale of Two Cities as a toddler and obsessively pouring over astronomytextbooks for clues can hazard a guess of what it feels like to be a nerd. Theguy who grew up on a farm who flies and can accidentally shatter steel in hisgrip is entirely familiar with how it feels to awkwardly maneuver around in acrowded city. The square who grew up in the middle of nowhere constantlygetting accused of not knowing how the world really works can probably express a little doubt over his ownself-awareness and naiveté if he absolutely has to. Clark Kent is historicallybuilt on Superman’s own worst image of himself.

(This incidentally, along withplenty of other storytelling-based reasons, is why I intensely dislikeit when Clark’s the ‘real guy’, and therefore confident and charming and on topof things; it’s Kryptonite to the ideas in play there.)

And the shyness? The sense of beingout of place? The - let’s get right to the heart of it - alien-ness?

Superman’s pretty cool. He’sfriendly; he’s understanding; he’s clever and kind and determined. He’s alsosomething of a loner who’s often surprisingly loathe to open up to people,and even once he’s married he still needs plenty of time to himself to thinkthings through. He’s someone who when he puts on the costume always engageswith the world in a very specific context: where his natural talents are mostobviously geared towards being helpful, where so long as he can pull off Sweetand Composed and make some speeches when he has to people will accept him withopen arms. Being Superman puts him in a situation where he can show his bestself, personally and socially and morally, and be accepted for his goodness ina way nerdy, quiet Clark Kent never can.

And god, does he need thatacceptance.

That’s often applied to painfullymaudlin stories of him hand-wringing over his social impact on humanity andwhether he can save all the little children of the world from cancer orwhatever, but it’s still something else that seems to be pretty consistentacross the various interpretations. Unless he’s barreling ahead with a degreeof self-confidence bordering on flat-out arrogance, he’s always worried abouthow he seems in the eyes of the world. Whether that means Red Kryptoniteexternalizing anxieties of old age or powerlessness or throwing him intodreamworlds of hate or irrelevance, or wondering whether he can justify one ofhis two identities, or pondering his alien nature, or questioning what Supermanmeans as a symbol to the world, or being flat-out replaced, or even protectinghis secret, it’s always the same question refracted through endless prisms: Can I belong here? Am I doing well enough,being useful enough, to deserve what I’ve been given? Will they find me out?Would they ever accept me if theyknew the truth?

For all the joy that comes with who he is, that’s his life too: it’s growing up inSmallville knowing there’s no one else who’ll ever know the distinct timbre ofair-pressure changes when a hummingbird slows down its wingbeat a fraction, noone he could talk about the sight of snowflakes assembling themselves out offreezing raindrops to without sounding as if he’s out of his mind, no one whocould fully empathize with having to practice normal human reactions to theworld. It’s spending half his life trying to be a normal guy among normalpeople and failing because of his own insecurities, the other half really beingable to do his best in his own element and being the person he wants to be, butnever being sure if it’s enough for those around him. It’s finally meeting other Kryptonians orsuperheroes but realizing even their own experiences diverge so sharply thatthe communication gap remains, that as a matter of circumstance he is and will alwaysremain fundamentally other in someways, no matter how deeply he connects with other people.

His relationships seem to fit the mold too - it works pretty dang well that histwo best friends are a coworker who’s simultaneously the cool dude who takeshim under his wing and the kid whouncritically looks up to him, and someone with the same ‘hobby’ who’s himselfpretty well-known for having issues opening up to people. Or that his wifefalling in love with him is framed in terms of her looking past him at his mostvulnerable and awkward and unable to fit in to see the person he actually iswhen no one else can, while a major part of his love for her is her being thekind of person who’s pushy enough to force him out of his shell and some of hismore self-defeating behaviors.

And that his worst enemy, in spite ofhis aura of smug self-regard, doesn’t seem able to relate to other people on afundamental level or manage to work with them very well when he’s not in fullcontrol of the situation, even as he needs them to accept and validate him. Lexfails because he’ll never work to bridge that gap in the same way as Superman,seeing that as a ridiculous and unrealistic imposition, and Superman as anintruder into his personal universe trying to force his unrealistic standardsof “acknowledge other people and whatthey think about things” on him while at the same time agonizingly,bafflingly succeeding where Lex fails. He’s the embodiment in that regard ofthe frustrated, shamed instinct of the isolated that you’re already great, sopeople should already love and understand you and it’s their fault for notgetting it (hence for instance how in All-Starhe overtly sees the world and the relationships that make it up in a coldly material manner where people naturally flock to only the most outwardly great aroundthem - colored by a sexist streak that’s taken on a whole new degree of toxic prominencewhen it comes to the socially awkward in the near-decade since the book’sconclusion).

(It also works that Superman’scharacter in All-Star is defined byhis disconnect from humanity, and that his big character arc is having tobecome emotionally honest enough to talk with the people who love him aboutwhat he’s going through.)

Again, clearly none of this is theintent on the part of those who’ve worked with him over the years. This is byno means the bedrock or secret key to what makes him tick; it’s at best a componentin a much larger machine. I’m sure if you dug into it enough you could find somethingproblematic in the proposition, and I won’t pretend there couldn’t becharacters closer in every sense to my own experiences.

But none of them would be Superman.

Sure, it helps that I grew up withhim, and that he’s a character with enough detail and weird ideas and characterwork that I can delve into the minutia of him in a way I can’t with anyone elseto the same extent other than Batman, but beyond all that, he’s Superman. He’s TheGuy, the best, and that I can see myself in him in *any* way means more than itever could with any other character, because that makes him being a role modelmean something else.

For all I talked about how lonelyhe is above he’s still an idealist, still has friends and a job and weirdpersonal hobbies at his personal ice-cave and a way to express his highest,best self in a way that’s loved by the people around him. The way he seesthings differently can be accepted and shared even as he understands and caresfor the people around him. He’s happy. And that he can start from a place of being the onlyone of his kind and end up a good person, the best person, in part because he knows better than anyone what it isto be alone and why others matter so much? That has more weight to people, andto me, than can be expressed.

I mentioned before I’m not wildabout Clark being the exclusive true identity in part because of how much itmesses with this. I’ve also said elsewhere that while both Clark and Supermanare inseparable and true parts of his identity that can’t be denied as importantaspects of who he is, if I absolutely had to choose one as being the ‘real’ one I’dgo with Superman. And I can pick apart any number of storytelling reasons forthat, but thinking about how I relate to Superman in the way I do made merealize something else. I have to see Superman as the truest self becauseSuperman’s who he is at his best, when he’s not afraid or ashamed and can showhimself in all his alienness to everyone and be accepted for it. That’s thedream, right? I’m no Superman, but I’ve gottabelieve in him, ‘cause I’ve gotta believe in me.

I’m pretty sure some of you canrelate.

[him-e]

I think claiming Sansa has had her "Starkness" put to the test more is a misread of all the Stark kids. They have all had their identities tested- all in different ways. Arya's story deals with her personal Stark identity whilst Sansa's has reflected a more political Stark identity. After all, Alayne is her first identity apart from Sansa Stark. Arya & the faceless men up this identity theme to 11. I understand the quote is about all the Stark kids but there's a reason it originated in Arya.

I said “questioned”, not tested. 

Of course all the Starklings had their identities tested in significant ways! (that tend to parallel each other, especially in the girls’ arcs). 

But when I say “questioned” I mean “considered to be dubious by the characters inside the story, the narrative AND the fandom alike”. When fandom sees Sansa as the ~least Stark~, as annoying as it is, it’s NOT unfounded. All the other Starklings had their personal Stark identity established very early, before the narrative starts testing them:

Arya & Jon have the LOOK and PERSONALITY of True Starks. They’re both underdog-coded, which is very Stark as well given the narrative arc of their house. 

Arya looks like Lyanna, is wild, rebellious and altruistic; she is described as having the wolf blood. 

Jon sulks because he’s not a True Stark but he desperately wants to be, and soon gets an intensely northern narrative within an institution whose history is strictly connected to house Stark.

Robb is the king in the north, the Young Wolf, he fights alongside his monstrous direwolf in battle. 

Bran is named after Ned’s late brother and the legendary founder of house Stark! He knows Winterfell better than everyone else and, for all he wanted to go to KL and become a knight (which btw is a masculine and therefore Okay thing to want, not something vain and frivolous like Sansa’s dreams of the south), the story immediately takes a different turn with him. Bran gets to be /the Stark in Winterfell/ and later embark, like Jon, on a typically Northern hero’s journey.

Rickon is half a wolf pup himself, and just as feral as Shaggydog is.

...and then there’s Sansa. 

Sansa always stood out like a sore thumb in this lot. Look at how she was originally conceived (as a foil to Arya, i.e. as a less important character who exists to highlight, mostly by contrast, the primary character’s qualities). Look at why she was conceived like that (”the Starks were going along too well”). Remember how she was supposed to end up (betraying her family, siding with the Lannisters, having Joffrey’s child). Her fascination for the sophisticated southron culture is at odds with the gruff practicality of the Northerners. She’s the most removed from northern magic. She favors the Seven over the Old Gods. She looks like Catelyn’s spitting image and nothing like Ned. Her love for Joffrey & Cersei in the first book makes the reader wonder if she’s either stupid, or prioritizing fundamentally different values than the rest of her family.

I could go on, but to keep it short, Sansa is very un-Starkly coded, and if that wasn’t clear yet, GRRM kills her direwolf just after her very first pov chapter. 

I agree with your distinction between personal and political Stark identity. Sansa always had the latter, as she always identified proudly as a Stark (it’s a huge factor in her classism & the reason why she believes she’s meant to marry a prince), but her personal identity has not been established as intrinsically linked to ~~starkness~~ the way her siblings’ have. While the others must defend or rediscover their personal Stark identity from external forces trying to overwrite it with their own narratives and agendas, Sansa is in the process of creating one (almost) from scratch. It’s not that it wasn’t there before, but it was dormant, more than in the others. And this process is complicated and not straightforward at all, because she lost her wolf. This almost carnal connection to house Stark, that fate or some other divine intervention sent to the kids to *save their souls*, is forever precluded to Sansa. It wasn’t taken away from her—it was never allowed to exist in the first place. The fact that she’s emerging as a Stark at all is in itself a miracle. 

This is not to say that Arya’s identity was tested LESS. I agree that the theme of (true, false)identity is central to her storyline from her various aliases in the Riverlands to the faceless men, while Sansa’s has been more involved with true/false reality. But in terms of the audience’s perception, Arya’s *stark identity* is not questionable in the way Sansa’s is. You can argue that Arya is “losing herself”, “becoming no one”, making poor Ned’s heart weep with all the blood she stained her hands with, or whatever bullshit fandom is shrieking these days, but is there anyone who says “Arya never felt like a True Stark anyway”?

of course, it’s important that the pack quote originated in Arya. GRRM gave it to her because it’s her who needed it the most (in relation to her upcoming plot) and the one who could make the most out of it. AGOT Arya is a natural receiver of Ned’s wisdom, her eyes and heart are open while Sansa is recalcitrant and otherwise preoccupied. Post-AGOT Arya is thrown into an hellish journey across the riverlands where Ned’s words prevent her from becoming a /lone wolf/ and remind her the importance of solidarity and compassion. So instead of just surviving, she forges connections and saves lives, which in turn saves her. Sansa also does this (several characters in rather key positions are invested in her survival), but the context is very different. Imagine Sansa being given the pack line, what would she do with it in her narrative? The only pack available is the Lannisters’ and she is their captive. She needs to learn to be brave and compassionate within the boundaries of her isolation. So she gets things like “I am a Stark, yes, I can be brave” (again, what I said about Sansa’s starkness being a work in progress, and how this line reads as if she’s just discovering that she has this in herself).

with that said, I can never stress enough that the show characters are currently in different places and their evolution has PROGRESSED compared to the book ones. 

The pack line does not apply to book!Sansa, but it CAN fit show!Sansa’s current narrative to a T, given that she’s much ahead of book!Sansa in terms of (re)constructing her Stark identity, and is now struggling with learning how to interact with other Starks (read: Jon and soon Arya) i.e. be part of a pack without losing her agency & individuality, versus being a lone wolf which is what LF is banking on to keep her under his influence. If you think of Sansa saying that line to herself FIRST, it makes a lot of sense in my opinion.

[hurr1can30m3l1a]

13x17

I only have the emotional stability to focus on Omelia while talking about tonights episode.

1) They want to be together and that’s obvious. If either of them didn’t care or wanted a way out of the marriage they would have used this disagreement straight away and divorced. They are fighting it out now because they care, they really care. Which is why they kept on referring back to “for better and for worse”.

2) Elsie and Louis gave Omelia something to think about. This couple was crucial in forcing them to talk, the whole 60 years vs 60 days parallel worked. Every line they spoke could have been related to Omelia without needing to think about it. As Louis said “there is no secret”, so Omelia just needs to work it out. 

3) Finally Amelia challenges Owen. This I was most proud of as, even though Owen cares so much, he is fixated with the idea of having a baby, a ‘normal’ life. Cristina just said no and never asked why, which is were I think Owen was suffocated in that relationship, whereas Amelia is asking why; that is the crucial point. As Amelia said ‘I was already an amazing mom’,  she pointing out that she has completed that part of life, he spoke as though she had never even thought of having kids and was scared about nothing. Owen hadn’t stopped for one minute to think about Unicorn Baby, for all we know he has forgotten about it. Brining up Cristina was brave, asking Owen whether or not he will be there through the possibility that there may not be a healthy baby, as Amelia put it ‘it can be painful’. She is challenging him in a way he hasn’t been challenged, why is his family of him and Amelia not enough? That’s the crucial point, they have been through so much crap in their lives and she is sick of being the ‘messed up one’; so why are they just not enough for each other, they can be each others family without including a child. 

4) Owen’s obsession with having a baby. I think he feels so broken and troubled inside that having a baby will magically fix it and make him ‘unbroken’. He feels as though what he has gone through is so different and confusing that he wants something people can understand. The use of the word ‘normal’ was so crucial as it highlights just how much Owen is unhappy with his inability to just move through what happened to him and his PTSD and not face it. 

5) I still have hope for Omelia. It’s not time to give up on them yet, Shonda really wants them to tackle this face on. Yes it appears to be repetitive from Owen’s perspective, but I think that is what she is specifically challenging his perspective. I think he will be forced to face his issues with PTSD again, but coming from a completely different angle. Owen may be the same though the woman is in a different position entirely, this is not Amelia not wanting children this is her fear of him running out if it all goes wrong with another baby, as Ryan was never there to find out. For those who have watched Private Practice remember how judgemental Sam was over her deciding to donate the baby’s organs, she had to beg him in tears during labour and he did it though reluctantly. She went through such a horrible process alone and dragged herself back from it alone. 

6) I think Amelia is pregnant. Her use of language was very interesting as she was picking at the idea that Owen won’t be there through the bad, “for better and for worse, are you here for that?” She’s not asking if he will be there in the future, she’s asking about right now; there is a reason for that, especially when they are talking about a baby. Although she was referencing her son, when she describes that you get what you are given though you didn’t ask for it; there is a possibility that she is pregnant as she didn’t ask for it. Also her calling out of what he thinks of as normal was crucial as the way she became a mom was not ‘normal’: she wasn’t married, she was in rehab, the father died, the baby was anencephalic... there was nothing ‘normal’ about her first pregnancy and that’s just how life is. 

7) My issues with it. Amelia is speaking as if Owen is meant to know the baby was anencephalic; which is unfair to him, as he is in the dark over a major part of what they are fighting about and why. They are also dragging this fight out too long, I understand Caterina was pregnant but their time frame is extending this too much. They said we would have an answer about Omelia in this episode but I think the audience have been left in the dark even more. Finally Owen has only stated what he wants and expects and has not asked why, he needs to ask why; this is making him seem really insensitive and that is not who Owen is, that’s not who Shonda wrote him as.