#especially knowing that these sort of dynamics can exist in real life.

[eeriepromis]

Hogwarts House Sorting: LaDs Edition (and why Caleb isn't who you think he is)

Remember: Hogwarts houses aren’t restrictive boxes. Each person, real or fictional, carries traits from all houses. What determines sorting is not only personality but core values and priorities. This analysis takes into account that nice Slytherins and gentle Gryffindors exist, breaking stereotypes to portray a nuanced, realistic perspective. Let me know your thoughts and your own house headcanons!

Xavier – Primary: Gryffindor | Secondary: Slytherin

Though Xavier outwardly appears gentle and calm, his behavior aligns with core Gryffindor traits: courage, impulsivity, and rebelliousness against injustice. He's not merely courageous out of circumstance; he actively seeks out risks. His creation of the flashy alter-ego "Lumiere" showcases his bravery - and perhaps recklessness - perfectly embodying Gryffindor's inclination toward flashy acts of heroism. His decision to rebel against his royal lineage in Philos, openly defying his father the king who sacrificed innocent lives, further emphasizes his alignment with Gryffindor values - specifically, moral courage. Xavier willingly sacrifices personal safety and stability to fight for what's right and travels back in time, reflecting true Gryffindor spirit. Reasoning for secondary Slytherin: He is sneaky and a little manipulative at times and fully knows what effect his innocent looks have - and uses that to his advantage. You notice this especially during Fluffy Trap. Somehow he is always a few steps ahead of MC and tricks her!

Positive: Courageous, protective, strong moral compass, heroic.

Negative: Reckless, impulsive, stubborn, often acts without foresight.

Zayne – Primary: Ravenclaw | Secondary: Hufflepuff

Zayne's core value truly lies in his relentless pursuit of knowledge and understanding. Importantly, intelligence alone doesn't warrant a Ravenclaw placement - it's the priority given to knowledge and wisdom that defines them. Zayne consistently demonstrates that acquiring knowledge - medical or metaphysical - isn't merely practical for him; it's essential to who he is and what he wants to accomplish (saving MC's life). As the Foreseer and Master of Fate, Zayne’s life revolves around carefully acquired knowledge to make decisions of enormous consequence. His choices are rarely guided by impulse or emotion alone, but always supported by intellectual clarity. His calm, methodical approach underscores his Ravenclaw essence. Reasoning for secondary Hufflepuff: Beneath his logical, stoic exterior, Zayne consistently demonstrates deep-rooted loyalty, compassion, and genuine care. His medical profession and the tireless effort he invests to protect and heal highlight his sincere dedication to the well-being of others. His actions are not driven by glory or recognition, but by quiet, steadfast commitment and genuine empathy.

Positive: Wise, analytical, thoughtful, innovative, responsible.

Negative: Detached emotionally, overly analytical, may appear cold or indifferent.

Rafayel – Primary: Slytherin | Secondary: Ravenclaw

Rafayel strongly aligns with the house of Slytherin through his complex motivations, secrecy, and charm. His playful exterior masks carefully concealed ambitions and plans. His network within the N109 zone and hidden dealings demonstrate his adeptness at navigating complex social dynamics - classic Slytherin traits of cunning and adaptability. His artistic temperament and charisma further illustrate how Slytherins can embody traits often associated with other houses, like creativity and charm, while still prioritizing ambition, resourcefulness, and strategy as their core values. Rafayel exemplifies that Slytherins can have good hearts but choose to show vulnerability selectively, preserving an enigmatic persona. He keeps his cards very close and even MC gets to see them very rarely. Reasoning for secondary Ravenclaw: He’s deeply artistic, driven by a curiosity for truth, meaning, and beauty. These qualities align well with Ravenclaw’s love for learning, creativity, and understanding deeper meanings. His exploration of art as a means to expose societal corruption and his intellectual depth behind each masterpiece clearly display Ravenclaw traits.

Positive: Charismatic, strategic, resourceful, artistic, adaptable.

Negative: Secretive, occasionally manipulative, holds grudges, guarded emotionally.

Sylus – Primary: Slytherin | Secondary: Hufflepuff

Sylus is the epitome of modern, multifaceted Slytherins. Ambition and cunning don’t inherently equate to villainy; Sylus demonstrates Slytherin's core traits positively and negatively. He is deeply ambitious and maintains strategic long-term thinking, always planning steps ahead. His network of connections, meticulous strategies, and hidden plans further highlight his resourcefulness and adaptability - key Slytherin virtues. Yet Sylus also showcases a softer, family-oriented side, demonstrating that Slytherins deeply value loyalty and closeness, particularly within tight-knit circles. He’s fiercely protective of those he genuinely cares for, and despite his outward harshness, this selective loyalty underscores a balanced, nuanced Slytherin personality. Reasoning for secondary Hufflepuff: I can't really tell you why - it's just a feeling. I don't have a lot of his cards, but I did watch some of them on YT. You can tell me in the comments what you think. (this applies to the other LIs too)

Positive: Ambitious, resourceful, strategic, family-oriented, selectively loyal.

Negative: Manipulative, secretive, mistrustful, sometimes morally ambiguous.

Caleb – Primary: Hufflepuff | Secondary: Ravenclaw

Caleb embodies the genuine warmth and humble spirit often overlooked when discussing Hufflepuffs. While traditionally bravery is a Gryffindor trait, Caleb’s bravery is more circumstantial than inherent; life forced him into courageous roles rather than him seeking them out. His core identity is rooted deeply in kindness, gentleness, loyalty, and humility - all quintessential Hufflepuff values. Caleb’s universal kindness, even to those he's not romantically interested in, emphasizes his innate empathy and respect for others. He's beloved by peers not because he's overtly charismatic, but because he's genuinely thoughtful and attentive. He cooks and enjoys food - not for validation or prestige - but for the simple joy of it and to see his loved ones enjoy it, deeply resonating with Hufflepuff’s comfort-oriented nature. His protective behavior towards the MC arises not from a desire to be a hero, but from trauma-induced loyalty and deep-seated love. This fierce loyalty, shaped by childhood trauma, is the hallmark of a Hufflepuff pushed beyond comfort into challenging circumstances. It’s precisely this loyalty and quiet strength that makes Caleb a true Hufflepuff, not Gryffindor. (He is basically Cedric Diggory - just more alive ... barely.) Reasoning for secondary Ravenclaw: He shows great intellectual capacity, strategic thinking, and analytical clarity. He adapts to complicated situations (this is an understatement) using intellect, precision, and careful planning. Caleb attempts to find logical ways to cope and protect even in traumatic circumstances. His genuine curiosity, analytical problem-solving, and sharp observational skills reflect Ravenclaw characteristics beneath his Hufflepuff core.

Positive: Loyal, empathetic, humble, compassionate, steadfast., kind.

Negative: Overly self-sacrificing, can be obsessive, passive-aggressive under stress.

Read about why he isn't a Slytherin further below.

MC – Primary: Gryffindor | Secondary: ???

MC’s Gryffindor traits are unmistakable. At her core, bravery, competition, and the desire for truth and justice guide her actions. She doesn't simply endure challenges; she actively seeks them out, recklessly engaging in dangerous missions and confrontations. Her grief-induced impulsivity and rebelliousness also fit Gryffindor perfectly, as she channels loss and trauma into daring missions without a thorough plan. However, this recklessness is balanced by genuine bravery and a powerful drive to protect and avenge those she loves. Her pursuit of justice - even when dangerous or irrational - is a defining characteristic, making her a Gryffindor through and through.

Positive: Courageous, determined, loyal, passionate about justice.

Negative: Impulsive, stubborn, reckless, tends to leap before looking.

But Caleb is definitely a Slytherin you say?

It makes sense why people would place Caleb into Slytherin based on his Colonel arc. But personally, I see Caleb's "cunning" and manipulation not as inherent character values, but as coping mechanisms shaped by trauma and survival instinct. It's important to distinguish between a person's true core values and the traits they've been forced to develop under extreme circumstances. Caleb’s story is one of deep emotional trauma - losing loved ones, being subjected to invasive experiments, and being manipulated into a position he never truly wanted. He didn’t choose cunning or ambition willingly; rather, those became survival tools in response to severe situations he faced. (it's more like his Ravenclaw side coming to the forefront to help him survive) In his youth, Caleb was naturally kind, humble, and nurturing - classic Hufflepuff traits. He didn't seek power, nor did he find joy in manipulation or secrecy. The Colonel storyline showcases a deeply hurt and scarred person fighting for the little control left in his life, driven primarily by loyalty and protectiveness toward MC. His methods might resemble those traditionally associated with Slytherin, but his motivations remain firmly rooted in loyalty, compassion, and the desire for a peaceful, simple life. Additionally, Hufflepuffs aren't devoid of complexity - they can exhibit cunning, resourcefulness, and determination when their loved ones are threatened. These traits aren't exclusive to Slytherins; what differentiates the houses is the underlying core value. For Caleb, cunning isn't an inherent value; it's a tragic necessity. At his core, he's guided by warmth, empathy, and loyalty - the values of a true Hufflepuff pushed into a darker, harsher reality. So, while Caleb absolutely shows "cunning" and resourcefulness, these traits alone don't define him. They're reactions, not values. At heart, Caleb is still that caring, emotionally intelligent Hufflepuff trying desperately to protect the person he loves most, even if he must walk a morally gray path to do so. Caleb is such a deeply nuanced character. He isn’t embracing cunning because it aligns with his heart - he’s forced into it by circumstances beyond his control. Caleb is essentially walking a tightrope, pretending to be the cold, calculating Colonel that EVER expects him to be (the perfect weapon), precisely because that's the only way he can maintain some small degree of freedom and protect himself (and MC) from their control. The Toring Chip isn't just a physical implant - it's symbolic of the trauma and manipulation he's endured (and is still enduring). Caleb's actions and outward persona reflect not his true nature, but his desperate fight to keep that nature intact beneath the surface. His core Hufflepuff kindness and empathy never disappear; they're hidden behind the mask he must wear to survive. It's a heartbreaking struggle between his authentic self and the identity EVER wants to impose upon him. That’s precisely why calling Caleb a cunning Slytherin overlooks the heart of his character - he isn't ambitious or manipulative by choice, nor does he derive satisfaction or pride from it. He's a victim of cunning, not its master.

[aihoshiino]

i've said this before but for all the problems i have with the movie arc specifically and how OnK more broadly sort of loses focus on/interest in Ai's story from then onwards, i'll never be grateful enough for how well rounded of a character the additions we get to her in that arc make her. obviously prior to that she was already fantastic, but the movie arc really doubles down on humanizing her in a frankly quite risky way for a character OnK needs you to sympathize with as much as ai: it allows her to be weak, selfish and flawed, and capable of hurting other people.

pre-movie arc ai's one real major transgression is her keeping the existence of the twins a secret, but this is in defiance of the entertainment industry's particular taboos and double standards, taboos and double standards that OnK posits as being plainly immoral - as such, it's not really anything ai is doing wrong.

even when the story starts digging into her dirty laundry as per the needs of aqua's investigations, the information we as readers get never paints ai as anything worse than having been a bit standoffish once upon a time. the stories continues to reinforce our understanding of ai as a victim who has been either harmed, neglected or both by pretty much everyone in her life and how this treatment has affected her. imo, the story does a very good job of painting a picture of a life basically defined by consistent, down to earth miseries without it feeling excessive or like overwrought pitybait but the fact of the matter is still that the ai we get to know is someone whose worst traits only seem to harm herself rather than causing her to behave in hostile or antisocial ways that direct harm outwards.

then comes the movie arc and we see how those flaws can twist into things that do, in fact, point outwards - ai's learned fear of vulnerability and her terror in the face of rejection and hostility can become cowardice when placed in the context of her outright refusal to have emotionally difficult conversations with people who are trying to reach her. her self-isolation makes her push away and reject when people offer her vulnerability and she is so used to having to make decisions for and protect herself, in having no other people in her corner that she can consult and have reciprocal dynamics of care with, that it leads her to be selfish and self-centered, making decisions for herself and other people and acting on them because she's decided it's what's best without consulting the other party or really taking into account their feelings.

and it all makes perfect sense! i remember being sooooo nervous going into the production phase of the movie arc because we got that bit with gotanda purposely riling up ruby where it seemed like they were setting up ai to have been a secretly deeply angry and bitter person and that just didn't make sense to me - ai to me had always been characterized not by bitterness but by self-hate, contradictory resignation and hope and a terrible loneliness. to my relief, this is also the route the movie arc takes with her - when ruby has her breakthrough, this is in a moment where ruby finally comes to understand ai as a "fragile girl" who was "always crying". and these flaws as properly fleshed out by the movie arc make perfect sense for a girl like that - a fragile person who's had to learn imperfect methods of protecting herself because nobody else will do it for her.

i'm not kidding when i called this risky, too! there really were a surprising amount of people who saw the nino/ai conflict and the hikaai breakup and lost sympathy for ai, especially in the latter case. i saw a lot of people assigning her blame, saying that she should have or shouldn't have done XYZ thing and that it was her own fault for how things turned out. but that's the risk you run when you allow a character to make a real, honest to god mistake that hurts other characters in turn.

for everything else the movie arc does wrong, this was the thing it had to do right. the ultimate conclusion of Ai's posthumous arc is a complete breaking down of the "perfect" Ai, both as an in-universe public figure and as a fictional character - in other words, humanizing her. but that can't be done without an acknowledgement of ai as a flawed human who has just as much power to cause pain as the people who hurt her in turn do.

[chiscribbs]

As promised, to show my thanks for getting Grown Apart AU through to the next @tmntaucompetition round - here's a little bonus treat:

A visual chart detailing all the major character relationships in the AU's first act! Enjoy!

(Click "keep reading" for some additional information on a few of the dynamics shown above.)

Splinter & Mikey - When the boys were still very small, Splinter used to take them with him on his excursions out of the sewers (either to get supplies or to search for the two missing turtles). During one of these trips, Mikey got separated from his dad and brother - they eventually found him, mostly unharmed, but the traumatic experience left a lasting mark on Splinter and he has worried about his youngest son ever since.

Leo & Raph - Leo and Raph are the first of the estranged brothers to meet, face-to-face. Raph finds Leo snooping around Draxum's lab and attacks him. Leo manages to escape, with his newly acquired portal sword, but the lab is destroyed in the clash. The two proceed to fight each other on multiple occasions after this, forming a sort of battlefield rivalry.

Donnie & Mikey - By complete and total coincidence, Donnie ends up saving Mikey's life after Draxum drops him off the roof of a building. Mikey takes this as evidence that Donnie is a good person and decides to trust him (despite Leo's protests). Realizing this, Donnie uses Mikey's "misplaced" trust in him as a ticket into the Hamato residence so that he can hide out there until he's apprehended the oozesquitos.

Raph & BM's Assistant - Although Big Mama and Draxum don't work together often, their business does tend to intersect on occasion. Because of this, Raph has had the odd encounter with Big Mama's masked companion. They've never spoken, though (not that BMA would speak even if they had gotten the chance).

Donnie & Raph - They're aware of each other's existence, thanks to their parents' occasional dealings, but haven't actually seen or spoken with each other. Big Mama largely limits Donnie's interaction with anyone outside of herself and hotel staff, and she's especially reluctant to let him meet other mutants (once she learns of their existence) or Draxum. This hasn't stopped him from listening in on some of her business chats via his surveillance tech and finding things out that way, though. Raph only knows Donnie as Big Mama's mechanic and the one responsible for her criminal empire's recent upgrade in technological advancements.

Splinter & Leo - Because of the incident that occurred when they were younger, Splinter has always had a soft spot for Mikey. Leo doesn't exactly resent this fact, but he does often feel like he gets short-changed on all accounts - when Splinter isn't around, Leo is responsible for keeping them both safe and out of trouble. When Splinter IS around, a majority of his limited attention generally gets directed towards Mikey. Thanks to this, Leo is left feeling both a little attention-starved and desperate for some independence. He's too proud to admit to his dad that he feels unseen, though, so he instead opts for causing a little mischief to get the desired attention.

Raph & Mikey - After learning that Raph is not only a mutant, like himself and Leo, but that they were created by the same person - Mikey becomes determined to befriend him and change his mind about humanity. He considers Raph part of the family - even before finding out that Lou Jitsu is their real father, thus making him their real brother. Raph doesn't quite share the sentiment, though - as far as he's concerned, Mikey's the one who's on the wrong side of the fight and no amount of niceness is going to convince him otherwise. (It does, however, make it a lot harder to hate him...)

Donnie & BM's Assistant - These two have a history that goes back several years and has soured with time...on Donnie's end, at least. He used to be close to BMA, considered them a friend for a little while, then something happened to change his opinion of them and caused him to see them as a rival. But what about BMA? What effect, if any, did the loss of Donnie's trust and friendship have on them? As with all things surrounding this character, it's a mystery...

[elendsessor]

Genuinely I'm starting to wonder if the metaphor manga is being rushed for whatever reason.

Like idk how the manga industry works so I could just be severely off but I've genuinely started wondering if metaphor's story isn't going to fit in whatever constraints are being given by the big guys (whether that's a volumes thing or a time thing or something else) so they're just slapping something together rn so everything fits in

it 100% is. best description i’ve heard of it is the writer not knowing anything about the game, instead reading a wiki plot summary and filling in the blanks.

i’m not against a retelling in the slightest. rather, my issue becomes character mismanagement and thus the writing as a whole.

this hurts metaphor way more than i think anyone’s mentioned.

so massive yap below because we need to talk about how bad this is. it’s more than a bad adaptation it’s why we can’t have media literacy.

it’s a shame especially since this is going to be at least someone’s first exposure to metaphor. the pacing of the manga is rough af and it’s clear based on the marketing highlighting it being a “reimagining” of sorts (aka whoever wrote it never experienced the game-) that the work was intended for those who already played the game/watched a playthrough/whatever. that would be fine if this was a fanfic, as people who read fanfiction are those who are fans of the source material or at least have had some experience with it.

official media doesn’t have the liberty of pre existing fans being the readers unless it explicitly states it’s a sequel or that you need to know the source material to understand it. to have as it does doom other things marketing themselves as a remaster of sorts for example, ff7r. as good as it may be, has the labeling of “remake,” with the expansions to it requiring the first part to be played to understand what’s going on. the name is inherently going to make people who haven’t played the og try 7r first, and because the remake isn’t even finished yet and has a lot of nods/story aspects that are heavily impacted by if you’ve played og 7 first, newcomers are not going to like it. many are going to think it’s poorly written. they’re going to think the og was that bad and won’t give it a shot because they’re being told this is how the original game was paced and played out.

for the metaphor manga, it’s going to be the same. newcomers aren’t going to like the writing at least because of the pacing and aren’t going to try the game because they think that’s how it’s written.

for people who are actually familiar with the source material, it’s arguably worse because of just how badly the characters are done. pacing is one thing, but the interpretation of a character not only matters on a storytelling standpoint but especially for a game with heavy political theming, it can be harmful when it comes to actual literacy.

will and neuras aren’t saints or whatever but they’re strangely mean spirited. hulkenberg is a pushover as opposed to how a knight directly serving the prince would likely behave. strohl has yet to really falter because the manga glossed over his entire backstory, but he does feel a little off. gallica’s becoming a tsundere. zorba feels off too, aka less insane? more just there? hard to explain. louis is the same but he’s a bigger fucking idiot than he should be because let’s be real there’s a reason he didn’t let zorba resurrect a human in front of literally everyone in the capital. the one convo between bas and del is cute but it still didn’t get the dynamic down.

the characterization issues isn’t exclusive to the metaphor manga—even the game has some stuff it overlooks (particularly with eupha (as much as i love her she was absolutely wasted potential especially since the game sorta just forgot she had no life outside of being a sacrifice until the gang arrived????)) all official media is doomed to this sort of thing because they have a lot more restraints holding it back. don’t get me started on the fandom scene because imo there’s one specific side of the fanbase that didn’t understand the game at all or at least not the characters (something about main antagonists make people lose their media literacy i stg). i’m not surprised there are flubs. i’m not saying there’s a perfect interpretation. there are objectively wrong ones, but there’ll always be ooc moments somewhere somehow. of course depending on the subject, writing someone ooc just to serve a purpose that betrays the character (be it hooking up with one character they wouldn’t otherwise or just as a prop) can be insanely harmful. ao3 and young adult fiction has a massive issue regarding effective, non-romanticized depictions of serious real world subjects. you can write it, but you need to be careful or else someone might think that the behavior is okay or isn’t an issue.

let’s ignore how badly done metaphor’s characters are for a moment. it’s more relevant now than ever, tackling themes that range from discrimination to ethics regarding technology to religious corruption to politics including how a government should ideally run. the tribal discrimination is important but is just one piece. that isn’t all there is to it, and even then, the examples of discrimination go beyond the stereotypical outward aggression. there’s microaggressions, abuse and manipulation, etc. tribes are more than a metaphor for race, being for groups as a whole. the characters serve as an extension of those themes. their designs, backstories, even at points names are integral to the overarching messages involving the complexities of the world, so to cut even one out means dismantling the point of it all. the manga has only displayed surface level discrimination, anything else that might be present is a footnote. that just makes it seem like there’s not only an obvious solution (there is none, life is complex, yada yada) but it’s as simple as “just don’t say anything.” in fact, i’d argue the mentality of not allowing for thoughtful discussion surrounding differing beliefs is what got us into the current political hellscape because it was molded into making others feel silenced. there was no trying to teach others to understand an issue, rather “here’s a new thing immediately accept it” and that does feel like an attack. people are understandably more conservative, defensive, etc. because there was no unlearning discrimination. there was no growth. their fears were just confirmed and they feel the only way to be heard is to be destructive.

in general media needs to stop black-and-white exploitations of basic bitch ethics and politics because that’s what made things worse.

metaphor did an excellent job at handling its themes and set a bar for other stories covering those subjects. the manga betrays all of that and the importance of media literacy while simultaneously pushing away potential fans. that’s why i fucking despise it.

at least we got hector

this is the best written character in the manga because you can’t fuck him up no matter how hard you try

pupby :3

[bambi-kinos]

Why do people perceive John's love for Paul as unrequited? I confess that I fail to grasp this perspective. Paul is absolutely infatuated with John in every sense of the word. The difference between him and John, as Paul himself has stated, is that John voices his feelings out loud, while Paul excels at self-preservation; he knows how to navigate the rules of society while also enjoying the thrill of breaking them.

For the same reasons why Hanya Yanagihara wrote her eye wateringly boring novel "A Little Life." In "A Little Life" Yanagihara writes a Stephanie Meyer-esque novel about boys being turned gay via SA perpetuated by adult men and how they eventually grow up and become super rich and also they all have vague disabilities that cause a lot of pain but never get full definition because defining them would be inconvenient to the narrative. (Disabilities are debilitating and Yanagihara wanted to write about Sad Boys Who Were Turned Gay By Child Rape But Also They Are Rich And Go On Globe Trotting Vacations Everywhere All The Time While Being Depressed.) The point of "A Little Life" is not to tell a Sad Gay Man Story about the fallout from CSA, it is to depict a sexually exploitive miseryfest that uses disability as a way to pad the word count and add a layer of fancy fondant to the masturbatory and self indulgent text that makes it look more interesting than it is.

I bring this up because I think the phenomenon are related. There has never been a good justification for why Paul is magically indifferent or blind to John being a gay simp especially when you have so many examples of Paul being a gay simp for John in return. BUT it does make for an even sadder and more exploitive miseryfest where a Sad Gay Man died Forever Alone because he was so in love with a Happy Heterosexual Man who could never Return His Love and that is what a lot of people want. That's the only reason the narrative has any steam IMO.

It's just trying to make a sad story and make it even worse: more sad, more tragic, more gay, etc. If John and Paul were mutually attracted and in love with each other than that means they may have had stretches where they were happy together and that's unacceptable to a certain kind of mind. Because the point is the emotional and sexual gratification of seeing a Sad Gay Man Suffering, not to respect the Sad Gay Man and his story and the events and decisions that lead to his predicament. If Paul reciprocates John's love then the John and Paul love story turns into a mundane tale about a first marriage that started out happy but didn't work out because the two spouses grew apart over time. The point of "A Little Life" is the same, there's nothing genuine or cathartic about the Sad Gay Men or the Sad Painful Disabilities, they only exist so the author can circlejerk with her readers about how enlightened and noble they are. Needing the misery becomes all consuming to the point that entire rest of the story, the three dimensional nature of it, gets destroyed and swept under the rug. It's too real and some people just don't want to engage with that.

There's a mundanity to McLennon. Yes there was all sorts of stuff happening but at the end of the day they were just another couple trying to muddle through life together. The soulmate-ness of it all didn't save them when push came to shove. There wasn't a clear path forward for them to make up and get back together even as friends. This is much harder to bear for some people because it shows how the simple act of living your life can carry you away from the person who loves you most. John and Paul found each other but they still drifted apart eventually and stopped wanting to be together. The romance novel didn't end with "happily ever after." The fact that it was so relatable and downright boring is something a lot of people don't want to know or hear about. How can they jerk off to it? It's not miserable or indulgent enough.

Reducing their dynamic to Sad Gay Man Who Is Forever Alone and his Evil Oblivious Heterosexual Partner Who is Blind To His Yearning flattens it, makes it two dimensional, and thus makes it a lot easier to cope with and masturbate to, emotionally and sexually. And look there may be some people who genuinely believe this and don't type that narrative out with one hand, but they're outliers and outliers get discarded.

[windvexer]

Hi Chicken!

I hope you are doing well.

Wondering if you know a simple binding spell?

There's someone in my life whose family dynamic is deeply rooted in negativity, and after a recent, vivid dream, I’ve come to understand that her mother holds a controlling and spiritually disruptive influence over the entire family. I now recognize that this energy is being channeled through my friend, and I want to protect myself from any further spiritual interference. I’m seeking a binding spell, not to harm, but to firmly set energetic boundaries and prevent their influence from reaching me again.

Thanks so much!

When people want to protect themselves, I almost exclusively recommend protection spells. When people want to bind behavior, I recommend bindings. These two things can have overlap but are not interchangeable.

If your friend is taking actions that spiritually interfere with you, then binding may help. You could bind them to stop lecturing you, for example.

If your friend is unknowingly channeling an energy, trying to bind that energy away from them could be deeply disruptive and destabilizing for them. People are inherently energy-sensing and the energies that move through us can be a part of our identity, stability, and ability.

Do keep in mind that binding someone's actions does not necessarily mean they will stay in your life but stop performing those actions. It can also mean they keep performing those actions and exit your life. Binding someone's actions can accidentally mimic banishing them.

In the way I sort the words, "binding" someone's energy from reaching you doesn't work like that. You want a protection spell - a ward, a wall, a shield.

A basic protection amulet like this one will suffice, especially if made specifically against one person or one specific type of energy. You must carry it with you when your friend is around.

Alternatively, create a poppet of yourself and give the amulet to it. (You can also use these poppets in healing magic and other beneficial endeavors).

Alternatively, create a container protection spell that sits in one place and projects a protection on to you. I recommend containers for this purpose because it's easier to include necessary taglocks that tie the spell to you. Technically, any sort of vessel will work.

A basic experiential binding:

Find a nice cord. Paracord or something thicker is ideal because it is of huge benefit to be able to untie the knot later on, just in case things go belly up. (Untying a knot is not necessary to undo this style of binding but it simplifies things)

Perform your preferred ritual preparations to prepare the cord to be used in an act of magic (consecration).

Dwell over the situation at hand. Channel this situation through yourself and bring it into your present moment. Think, write, sign, speak, sing, dance, remember, relive, or perform any action to draw this situation up around you like a thick mist.

Bring forth everything involved - the mother, the influence, the control, the friend, the interference. What it has done in the world, how you feel, what you want. Try to feel for your ideal outcome - it may already exist, shrouded behind the miasma of the unbound energies. Can you see a good ending? Does an ideal outcome seem to come attached to this bad situation?

Spend as much time doing this as you need to. Perhaps your conjuring will be rapid and the situation will flood forth to choke you. Perhaps it takes time to work past your own barriers and draw these things forth.

The cord has been prepared to be a magical object, or is already a magical object. Within the mists of fate you have poured into your present, it is a living and powerful agent. What it does impacts the real.

Feel out the exact things you want to bind. Actions, energies, influences - they're all around you right now. Think, sign, write, speak, sing, dance, remember, or relive them together into a single bundle.

In the physical world, tie a knot in the cord. Observe, believe, feel, understand, or know that this knot is binding up the unwanted things. In the magical world, these things are bound as the knot is tied. Physical and magical realities are now bound together at a single point in timespace: the knot in the cord is permanently attached to these energies, the energies are attached to the knot. The knot performs a binding and imprisoning function.

Most ideally, this action of binding comes with immediate emotional release. If an ideal outcome seemed to peak out at you through the conjured mists of unwanted influence, that outcome should now beam forth.

If the situation merely feels bound up and hollow, consider taking further steps to conjure or implant an ideal outcome into this situation.

When doing this style of working, a space and personal cleansing are deeply recommended.

A basic knot and paper binding:

Consecrate a cord.

Say, think, sign over the cord during or after the act of consecration: "I name you Binder of [Friend's] Unwanted Influence. You are Binder of [Friend's] Unwanted Influence." Repeat this phrase three times.

Write a journal page, or create a sigil, which fully expresses the influence you want to have bound. Work over it until being near the paper makes you feel like you're right in the middle of the situation.*

Say, think, sign over the paper: "I name you [Friend's] Unwanted Influence. You are [Friend's] Unwanted Influence." Repeat this phrase three times.

Tie the cord around the paper, pulling it tight. As you do so, say, think, sign: "I bind [Friend's] Unwanted Influence. I bind it from reaching me, affecting me, or influencing me." Repeat this phrase three times.

Observe that you have elevated a cord beyond the physical, so that it can interact with fate. Observe that you have called forth the situation, so that it exists in the paper you hold and that you can hold it in your hands. Observe that you have made your concerns tiny, confined to paper, and trapped in a knot.

Cover this spell and put it away in the back of the closet. Pillow cases work great. Covering is not strictly necessary but will help if the spell gives you weird vibes.

(*If you don't 'feel' in this manner, don't worry - just analyze if you've captured the pertinent points of the situation, and ensure you include details about what you have observed, what you believe, and what you think about this situation.)

[corviiids]

might i possibly ask what you meant in telltale when L says this?

“Do I love you?” Light asks. “It doesn't really matter to me,” says L. “Do you love me?” “That doesn't really matter to me, either,” says L.

if he had said it doesn't matter, i would have thought it was a comment about Light, but since he says it doesn't matter to him, i am curious about what L is feeling here.

i mean, L is a projection of Light's feelings in the first place, but "accept the premise for the sake of argument that you can think for yourself," amirite? ;p

hello GREAT question thank you so much for reading and for asking i appreciate your attention (fic in question) (and death note spoilers in this post) i don't know if this answer is going to be very satisfying because the whole thing is very abstract on purpose and the answers just don't really exist, but i can at least share some thoughts. sorry I've been sitting on this ask because i forgot to answer it

the dynamic i was going for in telltale was domesticity and romance without truth or feeling, which ideally should create a kind of sickening facsimile of intimacy. canon to telltale is that neither L nor light had romantic feelings for each other when L died. their soppier interactions in the dream world should feel sort of uncanny and incongruent in that light. L says: “Domestic life, it's more a matter of going through the motions, isn't it?” so the romance in the dream world is more a manifestation of/metaphor for some other unresolved thing

assuming L is real to any degree:

i pretty firmly believe L doesn't love light in general. i also pretty firmly reject any "happy ending" concept which involves L switching sides to protect light/kira, ESPECIALLY if his reason for doing so is because he developed feelings for light. i just can't see that ever happening, and i don't personally want it to happen. the thing is i also believe L wouldn't really give a fuck about light if he wasn't kira. so this thing they have basically would never work. there's almost no situation where they get and stay together.

even if L is in any way real, this is a world that only exists in light's dreams. L didn't of his own volition seek out light to date him. there's no coherent timeline to their relationship. in one dream they've been married two years, in the next it's ten. so basically, L only exists within this realm of "light's dream world relationship". this is the reality of that world and it only exists when light is dreaming, there's no timeline outside of it, it's not the afterlife, light isn't dead yet. so L is in this relationship whether he'd want it or not. it's a fact of the world just like whether or not their living room has a chair. and he's a pragmatist. so the feelings don't matter.

separately, i don't think L cares if light loves him, because L doesn't love him back, and their relationship is clearly being carried on for some other reason entirely, though light never really works out exactly what it is. i realise this is a super unsatisfying answer haha because im basically just telling you there isn't one, but I really enjoyed playing with the dream rules where their behaviour shifts constantly and is never really internally consistent - L is affectionate with light as though they've been established for years, but also freely tells him it's irrelevant whether there are any feelings in their relationship or if it's just being played out like a script, doesn't seem bothered at all by light's standoffish confusion. all of that happens simultaneously.

assuming L is a construct of light's:

i think it would still say something about light that his projection of L doesn't care if they love each other. i do think dream!light eventually grows feelings for dream!L, but not real ones. more just like....... emotions that grow from proximity or habit. it's still not a real relationship. light understands that. and once he wakes, his waking self doesn't have those feelings anymore. so i think light understands dream!L to be a construct, and he also believes L is not the kind of person who would feel or act in such a soppy way in a relationship, which is why again his behaviour should feel so uncanny. ironically dream!L saying this makes him then feel more real, because light probably thinks love doesn't matter much to L.

this is one fic i did intend to leave pretty open. some of my death note fic is less intended to be open (although people sometimes interpret it that way anyway if i didn't explicitly write down what happens), but in telltale i really did want to leave it mostly up to interpretation as to whether L is real at all. as a matter of interest only, i personally think he's a construct of light's but also not solely a construct of light's. there isn't necessarily anything supernatural going on, but you know. there's probably something in between those

[enuratled]

just going to dump some assorted thoughts here for keeps

I know everyone knows one of the main themes of deltarune is escapism but esp with ch3 its also about how much you love things that exist in these fictional settings so much that they become real to you…. Sharing each other’s narrative Worlds…

re krusie v suselle: Idk i don’t think the [suselle] development was as bad as everyone else thought but it was really interesting that they basically have the exact same dynamic [krusie] has once they got to know each other … which they are all major loser dorks also it seemed to be a lot of ‘lets feed both sides’ and both sides got lines/dialogue that felt like they could be read the same way anywayyyy

i have to say ppl jumping to >kris is evil incarnate after the new chapters is crazy this game is about AUTONOMY… andddddd also it genuinely works hard to give you explanations for everyone’s actions

the actual deflowered rose like wowwww beautiful metacommentary about the evils of compulsory heterosexuality and forcing roles upon people who don’t want them but have no ability to resist … THIS SCENE IS INSANEEEEE [+++ comphet reading comes from kris being forced to play the 'boy'/aggressor/masc dominator role when they are Not a boy, comphet is as much about gender roles imo as it is about sexuality]

no like its actually so fucked up that the only times we know how much kris and noelle actually care for each other besides the distance and cold war isssss when we’re actively hurting the other like WHY DOES IT TAKE US TERRIFYING/HURTING THE POOR GIRL FOR KRIS TO SHOW SO MUCH FEAR…. Plus noelle always being vaguely awkward or weirded out but you scare her into vulnerability/happiness at seeing the Real kris Like MAN….

The fragility of their forced trauma bond…..🥹🥹🥹🥹 .... my beautiful toxic terrified children ship that’s about the dangers of comphet

>here's how my ship can still win >me personally? i wish to believe there is hella love triangle angle to this if toby fox is based enough to go that way soooooo ... like the distant fraught rs between noelle and kris versus their obvious favouritism towards susie and Wellllll it would be really fun to see imo... especially if the festival does end up becoming sort of a balancing act

noelle genuinely so cute and charming to meee i love shy anxious awkward girl archetype why wouldn't iiii... also all her in-game sprites really highlight how cute she is as well... which makes it all the more fucked up that the cutest she looks is on the couch scene where she's reaching out I HATE EVERYONEEE

>shoutout to my stupid toxic ship >uhhh the way kriselle has the highest quality fanarts and hella fucked up fancomics like you have to be a Freak to enjoy this ship but a Sophisticated freak who #gets it

suselle just has the least #dynamics on the other hand kriselle makes you feel like you are poking yourself with rusted needles and pulling them out and krusie is good bc i'm someone who loves freak loser outsider x freak loser outsider

also rlly rlly clear to me that susie is not ‘the girl’ from the prophecy like that is so obviously noelle cmon guys ... also that LOVE does not actually refer to the romantic love like ... did the metacommentary from gerson about two derivative texts sharing similarities but also changing a lot mean nothing to you people...

can't believe ppl r saying carol isn't hot like yall are FAKEEE milf fans

also icb that sans/toriel is canon. like toby fox had one life and one chance and he was like my canon ship is the skeleton with the goat

seriously does feel like we are approaching everyone v. kris endgame battle... mom im scared

[badgalsasuke]

Wild (or Mild) One Piece enters the chat ! 🤟🥸

Helloooo ! I love your blog. I think I spend a good three hours just reading your metas and theories. Which is quite something, I was really engrossed. I love it.

I agree with you on a lot of the things you have written. Especially about the SNS dynamic and I like that you are taking every perspective into account when it comes to them and the story and most importantly, take into account Kishimoto’s intentions.

I was wondering about something concerning the girls / women of the story. (Or at least the ones who ended up with the main characters) Do you think that Kishimoto’s writing has encouraged a lot of the fandom (especially dudebros) to be more comfortable being sexist to women in real life ? It is a story that influenced a lot of people growing up. But I want to believe that people are not brainwashed either or at least explore the possibility of that theory. I am not even sure of the answer myself. I am curious about this, I hope we have sociologues in this fandom because it would be extremely interesting to see things like this studied/be searched on.

And also, do you write any fanfictions or have any recommandations ? Your taste seems impeccable about SNS and I am very much craving a good love story where they do end up being happy together.

(And, I have to say, it’s a little scary to explore the Naruto fandom’s meta side of things after coming from One Piece’s fandom’s meta. Like…Here we got ship wars going on for decades and on our side (the OP fandom) we got…theory is about a Crackhead Destroying Things and His Dumbass Crew…I feel like we are siblings fandoms, it’s hilarious.)

Final compliments (there will be more probably, your blog is so cool and I have not even scraped the surface of it all)

I like that you focus on the core relationship of the story and sort of make sense of the dynamics of the fandom and what people thought of the ending and at the same time caring deeply about the story and what it means — especially for us queers point of view. I mean you clearly read Naruto / analyzed the story and it’s sequel with queerness in mind and how society can make us repressed and forces us to conform to be accepted.

Because for me, their story is about repression because of what Boruto added (mainly NH and SS ships) and how it stopped them from being their truest self because of the system and society they live in. Yet it’s undeniable that it is a queer story, that it’s about researching the meaning of being attached to someone and understanding oneself in a complicated and unjust world that want to take everything you are as a person to make you conform to the norm. After all, Naruto always won because of his difference and by staying true to himself and his principles.

…juuuuuust a bit long for final compliments…

…So, what do you think of One Piece ? (Or just Luffy, because…I mean I do love what you write about SNS )^o^(

It would be fun to know what you think of my favorite character too (Luffy) (or in Naruto, well, Itachi!)

(…Wild One Piece oooooout, PEACE!) 🤟🤟

Hi anon!

Woah this is such a kind ask, thank you!

I was wondering about something concerning the girls / women of the story. (Or at least the ones who ended up with the main characters) Do you think that Kishimoto’s writing has encouraged a lot of the fandom (especially dudebros) to be more comfortable being sexist to women in real life ?

No, I think it's a reflection of the misogyny existing in the society Kishimoto grew up in that he, himself, later learned and externalized (like every other man) and if he had never written Naruto then boys would encounter media and entertainmet with misogynistic writing in other places. I don't think Kishimoto particularly emboldens men to be misogynists more than your average piece of media made by men for men.

And also, do you write any fanfictions or have any recommandations ?

I haven't read fanfiction in years so I really can't help you with this, the only time I was asked this years ago when I was still reading fanfiction I replied this

And, I have to say, it’s a little scary to explore the Naruto fandom’s meta side of things after coming from One Piece’s fandom’s meta. Like…Here we got ship wars going on for decades

Yeah, Naruto fandom focuses a lot on ships and most metas focus on that, if you ask het!shippers why this phenomenon occurs they probably don't know, they don't know why this fandom focuses so much on the romantic ships (more so than other battle shonen series) but it is because Naruto is a romance, it's the love story between Naruto and Sasuke with a tragic ending. And Kishimoto is very clear there's a love triangle. But of course Naruto dudebros would throw a fit if you tell them that even though they can't explain you what Naruto is about.

…So, what do you think of One Piece ? (Or just Luffy, because…I mean I do love what you write about SNS )^o^(

You're gonna have to forgive me anon, but I've never read nor watched One Piece. Mostly because I was intimidated by how long it is (and it's still going!) and also I think there's this type of otakus that pick one of these long shonen series and then the watch/read shorter series and I am one of those. The most I know about One Piece is funnily enough, what Kishimoto says about it in his interviews.

It would be fun to know what you think of my favorite character too (Luffy) (or in Naruto, well, Itachi!)

But about Itachi, I think Kishimoto struggled a bit with the execution of the anti hero archetype he wanted him to be. He said he always envisioned Itachi to be one of the good guys but in the end it felt clunky to me on one side because Itachi put Sasuke through hell and I don't think his goal was great enough to justify the means and on the other side, Kishimoto did not develop the Uchiha clan to be this massive dangerous threat to Konoha and its inhabitants to justify the butchery committed against them. So Itachi ended up looking like a pawn of a military State who murdered a bunch of innocent people because he was ordered to and tortured his brother multiple times and made him an orphan for what? Because when you read the manga you actually understand the motives of the Uchihas for not trusting Konoha because it was founded and controlled by people who never liked them.

I also think he was a bad spy, he was supposed to be spying Akatsuki on behalf of Konaha (a very ridiculous retcon if you ask me) and Pain still ended up nuking Konoha so what was exactly the intel Itachi was giving Konoha?

But I mostly feel this convolution is a product of Naruto being a shonen. Itachi would've been a much better written character if the series was a seinen and Kishimoto had more time to delve into the morals and nuances of what is like to be a part of a military state that's also your home, because you can't do much when you have to submit a chapter every week with three days for storyboarding and two days for drawing and only sleeping four hours per night.

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

I first realized that the best ghost stories are love stories after watching The Haunting of Bly Manor, and though I've experienced a lot of media since that reaffirmed that understanding, The Narrow by Kate Alice Marshall really feels like it's closing the loop. It rhymes with Bly in a way that feels like I've come to the end of some great journey, and am now prepared to start another. Like Bly, The Narrow is a story about abuse. It's a story about possession, in more than one sense. And it's a story that asserts that true love, the love that's worth keeping, is the love that knows how to let go.

Our story follows Eden, a senior at a prestigious private boarding high school rich with history and legends, especially around its deadly river, The Narrow, which is unapologetically based on the Bolton Strid. Eden is excited to return to school and escape a summer vacation marred by a profound abuse that she is refusing to think about. However, upon arrival she discovers that her parents have neglected to pay her tuition - coincidentally, they've had to pay a lot of legal fees recently - and she is forced to take on a unique arrangement to remain enrolled. She must act as the live-in companion of fellow student Delphine, a reclusive girl who cannot leave her carefully refurbished dorm room, as any contact with water sends her into seizures. Eden knows something about Delphine that almost no one else does, however - at the beginning of her first year, Eden saw Delphine fall into The Narrow and be swept away - and what The Narrow takes is never returned.

The mystery at the heart of the story is, ultimately, not that complicated, but it is beautiful in its simplicity and the way it plays with the reader's expectations. Those expectations are shaped heavily by Eden's point of view, and Eden is a triumph of an unreliable narrator. She actively avoids thinking about things that weigh on her and occasionally skates over her own actions where they clash with her self-image, but these more obvious and dramatic omissions draw attention away from the subtler ways that her biases and coping mechanisms shape her understanding of the world around her, and it took me until about the three-quarters mark to know where and how to disbelieve her perceptions. She is incredibly compelling, deeply empathetic, and absolutely drowning in self-worth issues. The supporting cast is equally compelling, and the author injects a surprising sense of depth into each member of her friend group in remarkably few lines. Each give the impression of being flawed, well-rounded, but fundamentally decent people, and they all feel very distinct from one another. I was going to highlight one of them as a favorite example, but I genuinely can't pick between them. The adults too are well-rounded and compelling, which I feel is often a shortcoming of horror in an academic setting (is that what dark academia is? no one will tell me). And of course Delphine herself is quite compelling; a little odd, very intense, and eminently sympathetic, her dynamic with Eden is fresh, engaging, and believable.

One thing I really want to highlight about this story is its willingness to engage with real-life messiness that is often elided in ghost stories and love stories. The mechanics of the supernatural are not well understood in this story, and no tomes of ancient lore exist to guide the protagonists. Their methods of interfacing with the supernatural are cobbled together from their own intuition and their vague impressions of the occult from pop culture and religious mysticism, and their efficacy is neither reliable nor consistent. Similarly, the story is not afraid of engaging with the fragility and volatility of young love, the way it can feel all-consuming and eternal in one moment and fizzle out the next. This sort of messiness always appeals to me in fiction, and it is remarkably rare outside of deliberate genre subversions, so I was absolutely thrilled with it here.

I would recommend The Narrow without hesitation to anyone who likes ghost stories. I would also recommend it for its exploration of abuse in a variety of forms, and for its depiction of the aftermath of said abuse. Take that same recommendation as a content warning, though, and I'll toss in a more specific one for involuntary drug use.

[ceristhefallen]

You've sent me so many asks, I feel like it's about time I return the favor! I'd love to know, what are your thoughts on Raven's relationship with her parents?

Ooo! This should be fun! Okay... I'll try sorting my thoughts the best I can:

If there's one thing I most adore about Raven's parental relationships is that THEY ARE SO GOD DAMN COMPLEX. It's more than good vs evil. No, no, no! There are different shades of gray, especially on Trigon's part: He is the CENTER between Raven and Arella's lives that brings them together in the most UNHEALTHIEST way. And it's so interesting to think about!

Trigon is a shitty dad without a doubt. Obviously. He abused Raven, pressured her with the expectations of destiny, and has tried taking control against her will time after time. I mean, c'mon, he's evil incarnate! Yet he isn't without his good deeds either. Who do you think saved Raven from getting thrown into a void by an Azarathian monk? Trigon. Who wrecked havoc looking for his missing daughter in Injustice? Trigon. Who aided Raven in her time of need in the DCAMU (Apokolips War)? Trigon. Meaning, he isn't incapable of goodness but he simply cannot deny what he is, which is something he's been trying to get Raven to understand; that one day... she cannot deny herself any longer.

I also noticed this... and I don't know if anyone has felt the same: I think Trigon is a bit human than we expect him not to be: Think about it. Trigon represents the very evil we are afraid to become. Or, our mistakes/hidden selves that we're afraid to confront. Murderers. Abusers. Ra*ists. Tyrants. Thieves. Everything bad that we do or could do is what he embodies– and he embraces it. In my opinion, that makes him one of the most scariest villains in all of DC.

As for Arella, she is a dynamic case I initially struggled to decipher. So, I looked into the 80s. Arella had a strained love for Raven. They were forbidden of any communication whatsoever. She did want to be there for her! But it's not just that she can't either. Arella outright admits to being afraid of Raven. Unfortunately, she has every right to be afraid: Raven is THE offspring to the same monster that r*ped her. And after realizing the power he has? Who was to know what Raven could do with or without Azarath??

However, what I admire about Arella is her love. Yes! Arella's love for her daughter is what helped her persevere; despite the warnings, despite potentially risking her life, in spite of fears, she went her way to AT LEAST TRY and protect her kin! THAT IS A REAL MOM. THAT IS LOVE. That motherly instinct, despite it all, made me admire Arella's relationship with Raven but also her as a character.

I realized that Trigon and Arella have been underutilized to nearly non-existent over the years. And I see it as pretty unfair. Trigon, Arella, and Azar—these three were important figures in Raven's story. And they shouldn't be forgotten.

[system-of-a-feather]

Hi, I saw a post Ray made about inner worlds and part of it was about inner world trauma/abuse. As a part in a system who's grappling with that kind of thing right now, do you have any advice or suggestions or insights you could share about addressing and processing them specifically? Is there really even much of a difference in approach, considering at their core they mirror/reflect/obscure/etcetera and connect to external events? (I just talked with our therapist about the internal stuff for the first time today, and we're doing a EMDR-adjacent thing called ART next session to hopefully help me jumpstart processing, so this is more a 'what worked for you all; what might be worth trying -- safely! -- on my own/under watch of the therapist?' question. I hope that makes sense?) Thanks in advance. I hope you feel okay answering this question, and please don't feel obligated to answer at all. (I did read your boundaries page-- if this oversteps I'm sorry, and I apologize.)

Oh man was that an old post of ours if I'm correctly thinking of the situation that had me talking about that back then. Honestly, I don't really think there is anything of a huge difference in how processing for that works beyond the sort of "meta" challenges which are the "well this isn't real so (a lot of self invalidation / reasons to deny self the space to really feel and processes the emotions around it)" that don't really exist when it is a trauma that physically happened.

In that sense, I think the only real key thing to keep in mind for that is to honestly honor it and treat it with the sensitivity that you would a trauma that happened outside of the inner world ESPECIALLY in the privacy of your own thoughts, life and therapy sessions.

One can argue being a little more cautious when in public spaces as a respect thing especially if the trauma is """more extreme""" than what you experienced; I personally have mixed feelings about that notion, but that's a matter of opinion and at the end of the day, when it comes to public spaces we go on the principle of "say what will allow you to sleep at night and what you are secure standing by".

At the end of the day, denying yourself your genuine emotions and feelings of hurt and pain towards something is really a way to let it control you and to keep it around longer. Finding a safe space internally and - if possible - externally to give those feelings, even if 'silly' 'cringe' or 'not real', will go a mile in helping move forward and heal from it.

Honestly, other parts have processed some of "the actual trauma that happened" because I know what trauma got interpreted into my inner world trauma, but I honestly never actually went back to The Actual Trauma as much as I just processed what 'my trauma' was.

I don't think, even if I wanted to and tried my hardest, I could turn what I experienced internally, to relate to my sister because as far as I am aware (or more accurately, feel) my sister has literally no relevance to me or my life. Yes I know the trauma and dynamic that I had with an old part of ours was that way BECAUSE of what our sister was doing with us and that the dynamic heavily mirrored the Actual Dynamic we had with her, but as Ray I never really paid attention to her or really gave a shit about her so I really genuinely can't find myself emotionally invested in all that.

Even so, I did process the hurt I had with the part that followed a similar pattern and it did a lot of healing for me and - as a result - everyone in the system / the whole as well, so like..

Honestly, TLDR, the main thing is to just approach it without judgement and give it the respect it deserves as a genuine trauma, cause it is genuine real trauma even if its proceeded and experienced in a weird way.

[chocodile]

Hypothetically speaking, what would one of Hyden’s preceding siblings turned out to be like had they survived into adulthood? Doubly so if Hyden still came to be, courtesy of preemptive pessimism for child-viability, and they shared a household. I’d kill to know what sort of absurd dynamic he’d have with an Older Sister or what her appearance might be like in comparison (contrast ??) to his.

That's an interesting hypothetical!

*BELOW IS ALL NON-CANON SPECULATION*

I think many factors could influence this… the biggest ones would be "how good at magic is this hypothetical sibling" as well as "how physically and mentally fucked up is this hypothetical sibling." Going with the "older sister" route, I can see a couple different outcomes:

Older Sister who is much more sickly and/or unable to use magic at all: Hyden wouldn't be that different. He'd still grow up seeing himself as his family's only real heir. He would probably feel some resentment and anger to his sister for "wasting" his parents' time and energy despite being obviously unfit to inherit the family mantle. Otherwise, though, he'd basically act as if she didn't exist. Their mother Aurelia would immediately switch to caring about her magically-inclined son rather than her mundane daughter. The rejected Older Sister might find solace getting along with Arcturus III, their introverted and ineffectual father… which would only deepen Hyden's dislike for her.

Older Sister who is magically-inclined and not on death's door: This would get interesting. As a male heir, he would supersede her in terms of title inheritance--something she would be quite displeased by if she'd grown up planning her life around being heir apparent. So I could see a serious rivalry forming. I think that especially with Hyden's growth disorder making him get really tall at a really young age she'd see him as a noxious invasive cuckoo chick poised to rapidly overtake her life and replace her.

As Hyden has previously stated (?), "madness" runs in his family, though. There are… solutions… to an undesirable usurper poised to steal your title that are available to the morally flexible noble. And, well, he was always sickly, right? If poor, dear baby brother were to pass away in his sleep after something was slipped into his wine glass at dinner… who's to say it wasn't a death of natural causes? Maybe it would even be the kinder option. I mean, the family healer always said that he was unlikely to survive to adulthood…

Baby Hyden's longevity here would probably come down to whether or not he figured out what his sister was plotting and turned the tables on her before it was too late.

A related possible path: He goes against inheritance norms and bows out of the wizard family title battle entirely, giving up on his magic schooling and allowing Older Sister to claim the role of Viscountess. He gets an arranged political marriage to a woman from another noble family and goes into another line of work. Maybe being a political advisor or researcher of magical artifacts something.

As you can imagine, this would be not be voluntary. More of a "Mom and Older Sister have leverage against me that I cannot overcome and were planning to kill me to get me out of the way, so we reached an agreement." Hyden would not be happy feeling like he'd been discarded and cheated out of his birthright. He would probably spiral downward over the years, chronically unable to find fulfillment or satisfaction, which he would blame on the fact that he'd been denied the life he was obviously supposed to have.

There would, of course, be many whispers about why the male heir would give up his title, though. It would be a really bad look. They'd figure there must be something terribly wrong with him.

Long story short: They wouldn't have a good relationship. The Hyden family dynamic is doomed to be a mess no matter what because everyone involved is extremely spoiled, extremely inbred, and extremely desperate to grab whatever power they can. They'd scheme and murder each other until there was one left standing no matter what.

[yuukei-yikes]

it's such a small thing compared to everything else i loved in the comic but "*road safety is important to hiyori." knocked me OUT (/positive) like. its such a small thing but really pulls you back into the context of it all especially right after hiyori talks about having lived with everyone like. aaahhhhhhh (chews my phone to bits).

also i love the way you characterize her so much. i love her little sneers and cringes and grimaces it just feels so much like a realistic way she would grow up to be. it's just so rich it really feels like a proper evolution of the characters and dynamics that existed in the source material

and then ayano's savior complex in the canon blossoming into this almost grotesque need to be idolized and approved of by her family that just goes completely unaddressed until everything comes to a boil like this and starts falling apart............... THE LITTLE DEVIL AND ANGEL ON HER SHOULDERS............ how desperately she wants everything to be "normal again" even though a secret, third, voice in her head says that something still needs to be fixed no matter how much Kano says it's fine and they should move on...... how in the end the messy love triangle with shintaro isn't even the real problem it's all the unaddressed stuff from the canon that ayano would rather leave buried and hope it doesn't come up until she dies?????.

this update was so good it hit right in the heart. ayano's insecurities and fears are eating her alive and watching her deliberate on whether to try to Fix It at the risk of unearthing things that she doesn't think she can ever be forgiven for... or leave everything buried like it has been....... AHHHHHH

and through all of this they all still love her so much. and i don't know if she knows that. orz

THIS IS ALL SO NICE.... HEEEHEEE i'm so happy u like my hiyori characterization 'cause compared to everyone else, not only does she not get a lot of spotlight but she's also really young in the source material. it's one thing to age up the 18 and 19 year olds, like yeah they're young but they're not like. small children. so it feels a lot bigger to age up from 12 to 22 than 18 to 28 (trying not to bring up AGAIN why i didn't do a 15 year timeskip like i originally wanted because this is totally unrelated shit but just know shintaro and ayano almost get into this stupid situation as very grown up 33 year olds)

i think hiyori would look at ayano's life like the worst fucking thing in the world. wow you're a single mom of 3 brats. and now ur pregnant. and ur really lame ex is the dad? eugh. if hiyori hangs out with ayano and her kids she's like adding things to her list of "why i don't wanna have kids and my life is awesome: (300 items)"

i think something that's interesting of us as Humans💗 is how quick we are to dismiss people's lifestyles or choices just 'cause we wouldn't do it ourselves. like personally i don't want kids, and when i was writing part 9 and i was drawing ayano sort of hoping she would be pregnant despite everything, i was like damn. i do not understand you fanonized ayano tateyama from my au. but i support u. get that baby i guess... i used to be a babysitter and at one point i lived with a family and the mom got pregnant (on purpose) and she was seriously like. so excited about the entire thing even though she HAD been pregnant before and i was like whoa... peace and love on planet earth. we all love and want different things huh...!!

also i'm asexual so when i'm in the whole weird sexual aspect of the situation it's like haha.. imagine being in this much emotional turmoil just 'cause u got laid. lame! *draw draw*but like i understand how relevant it still is 'cause. that's not just a thing u do there's a lot of decision making involved and someone got hurt because of it! i know kano's a weird evil twink with the most complicated views of relationships but this sucks so bad for him LOL

but making ayano the character who can't understand why other people don't want what she wants is so HEEEHEEHEEEHEHE. i'll get to this in the comics sorry for sorta spoiling sometimes but i just like talking about it *kicks rock* but it is sorta IMPLIED in part 16 so i can say it. when ayano thinks momo's ring for kido is too plain. she wouldn't like it plain. it's for an engagement. why would u get it plain! ayano understands it's because it's for KIDO, but it's the afterthought. heh. but i'll get to it further i will. and angel and devil ayanitos will come back too. in fact they weren't originally in part 16 but i LOVE the shoulder angel/devil trope because it's a very comedic way of showing a character's thoughts. like those bitches aren't real. that's all ayano! so anyways i love it so much i decided to just add them here too like yay

sorry for my long as hell rants in my replies i just get excited and kick my feet in joy and love when i get these type of asks like kya. u got it!! u read the thing i wrote and u interpreted it and now ur telling me about it thank you!! getting feedback of the stuff u made is like cocaine

[specialgradefckr]

Right now I’m just passing through cause I came across one of your fluffier fics, but I gotta say, I LOVE how fucked up your fucked up content is.

Idk why, but coming across something and then having a definitive moment of just “this was not meant for me” or “I’m gonna need to be in a very specific mindset for this” makes me feel good. I think it’s cause seeing people be unabashedly doing their own shit makes me happy, even if I don’t get it.

BUT ALSO, (the ones I did read as I was figuring out if I vibe or not) are so gd interesting especially the ones where Gojo has a twin! Cause you’re doing something that, according to cliche, should’ve made him “better” (using that term very loosely here)

Cause so much of Gojo’s character and his flaws are defined by his isolation, giving him a sibling, even better a sibling who is there every step of the way, should be the better option right!?

NO! He’s just a different flavor of fucked up now, enmeshment, emotional/physical incest, codependency.

And even within in that you’ve gone different routes. she’s his sole reason for compliance, for meaning. She’s always been there and always will be, so why should he worry about her? “He loves her like he loves air, always certain it will be there when he needs it…” FUCK—-!

It expresses an interpretation of the character I very much appreciate, even if seeing it explored is something I need to be in a certain headspace for.

Keep fucking and keep it fucked! 🤘

omg the maturity. the style. the grace. may every internet goer have even a fraction of your mental prowess because it really do be like that!!!

like. not every fic is for everyone, and even for the people a fic is for, it's not for them at every time. even i, who regularly writes noncon/emotional manipulation/toxic shit and worse, i've got a few fics i like but i can't always read it,,, i have to be in the right mood

i really appreciate this sentiment too!! bc ngl i have a lot of like. niche stuff going for me. i have very particular desires and tastes and my inspiration can be so fickle and fleeting that i just. grasp onto every idea i get. i've learned to follow my passion, bc otherwise, the passion dries up, you know?

in fairness to twincest!gojo, he's experiencing a different childhood from canon gojo. canon gojo was ostensibly spoiled (although taken away from his parents), but he ran away from home often, and he became very emotionally stunted and lonely. he's also sort of a huge dick in high school too sfjhglshdfg.

twincest!gojo seems like an equally shitty person because you're seeing him in the context of relationships. but twincest!gojo is actually a bit more slutty bubbly and friendly than canon!gojo - i think canon!gojo never slept with geto, but this twincest!gojo knows how fulfilling and comforting intimacy can be, and he's not afraid of rejection because he always has someone to fall back on.

but you're right in that it makes him worse in different ways - he literally kicks your parents out when they want to be real parents to the only child that they might actually be allowed to raise. he's possessive and wildly entitled in ways canon!gojo never got to be.

he really does always just expect you to be there. in his mind, the struggles you have - being in his shadow, the only significance of your life being how much he cares about you, the fear of being abandoned - they literally don't even exist. he doesn't know about them at all.

but even he can see your world getting bigger, just as his is. he can feel adulthood pulling on him, life is changing, and he's afraid of that. he never grew up - never learned emotional regulation, never learned how to actively empathize with others, because you did that for him without him asking - like an accessory organ.

nothing stays the same forever. but i'm still contemplating the different ways it can go so stay tuned,, whenever you're feeling up to it! i'm really glad i got this much thought out of you, the twincest dynamics were so fun to write!

[tanoraqui]

🔪❄️

[ask meme]

Already answered Knife.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I know I've said this before, but I really would like someone who has actual experience being a parent and/or having a notably messy relationship with at least one parent to write a fic about Curufin returning to life in Fourth Age Aman and trying to reconcile with Celebrimbor, and then - before he's actually done doing that - Fëanor returns as well so Curufin also has to sort out how he feels and is reacting to that.

I'd like it to be written by someone with more real-life experience in this sort of emotional tangle than I have, because I just...don't have many strong opinions about parenting. Which this story would very much be about, though not exclusively. However, it WOULD need to follow exactly my headcanons for characterization, worldbuilding, and generally the moral dynamics of the cosmology, because god knows that will also come up.

Key characters and other components include:

Curufin has, over the millennia of being dead, resignedly come around to the "less evil would have been done in the breaking of it" position on the Oath. However, he's still very proud and fucking hates apologizing to anyone. He'll do it but he hates it.

He hates it much less when it's apologizing to Celebrimbor, almost not at all. Celebrimbor, however, is very reluctant to believe his father repents of anything except getting caught.

Yantalmandë, Celebrimbor's Vanyarin wife, who is ready to support him either by kicking any unwanted family firmly out the door or by sympathetically talking him through forgiving them, for his own sake if not theirs - whichever the situation requires. One of the most notable heretics in Aman for her theory that morality and ethics can and should exist entirely independently from the dictates of Eru and the Valar but rather be derived from the nature and experience of Arda. She's mildly embarrassed whenever people bring up her philosophical infamy.

(This is, in fact, somewhat the moral of the story: that when you make a living thing, you may raise and guide and advise them, but you fundamentally lose the right to dictate their choices. Children should be independent from their parents and both should be proud of this.)

Curufinwen, their daughter, at least 1,000 years old but vibes as mid-20s, who in family tradition holds her father to be probably the greatest and definitely her favorite person in the world, and who is distinctly more correct in this than the last 3 people in her eponymous lineage. Skeptical of her newly reincarnated family, but willing to give them a chance. Also, superb metallurgist/chemist/explosives expert.

Maltrinbor, Curufin's wife and Celebrimbor's mother, about as willing to forgive Curufin as Celebrimbor is but at a different angle. I still haven't decided whether I want her to be Noldorin (and died in the stormy sea-crossing, or in Dagor Bragollach after the slow eroding of her marriage?) or Teleri (and died at Alqualondë while trying to find her idiot husband and clearly-not-safe child, after walking away from them a decade ago?). Either way, she's a preeminent artist in glass and has been living near her parents near Aulë's mountain, focusing on craft all these millennia since her return, happy to be a mother but avoiding like spiders any royal politics (which Celebrimbor can never quite do.) SO disappointed in Curufin, for not being...better. In literally any way tbh. But especially for never stepping far enough out of his father's shadow to live up to his own potential.

Finrod in the role of frustratingly wise advice-giver, not least in the area of parenting because he's now had 7 children, and, when Curufin cracks and asks him for help, earnest confidant and supporter in this reconciliation. While also playing an extended game which he calls "social rehabilitation" and Curufin and Celegorm both call "publicly humiliating psychological torment." On top of everything else Curufin has to be grateful and/or apologetic to Finrod about, when Celebrimbor returned from Mandos, Finrod immediately took him under his wing and helped him fully recover from his trauma and comfortably re-settle into Valinorian society.

Veryawendë, Finrod's 4th daughter and Celebrimbor's best friend, artistic collaborator, and ally within the family. A superb jewel-smith and -sculptor who actually studied with Nerdanel in order to master form and sense of movement and life. Very ready to bodily kick unwanted parents or uncles out the door on his behalf.

Celegorm, Curufin's usual/former closest confidant, who is very sympathetic to Curufin's plight and of course he also wants to reconcile with his beloved nephew, but he's kind of focussed on reconciling with an entire Vala of the Hunt first so could you maybe stop ranting and help him, Curvo?

Nerdanel absolutely is involved in this, but I think she's trying - maybe by wrestling with herself - to stay out of it, and oblige her children and theirs to solve their own problems which they made.

And of course Fëanor, who comes out of Mandos regretting a great deal...but who is still too prideful to let himself be much diminished by this guilt, and so with all his vigor sets about trying to Fix What He Broke, which sometimes means the world's most undeniable earnest repentant apologies and sometimes means unthinkingly steamrolling everyone and everything in his path.

(Fëanor who never wanted his children to be consumed by his own fire - his own will, his own grief and rages - like kindling for the flame, but who probably didn't always communicate that in word or deed even before the Oath. Fëanor who, accustomed to Bonding Through Craft, tries to connect with his grandson by offering to teach him some techniques which have clearly been lost, and instead only sets off Celebrimbor's latent Annatar-related alarm bells. Fëanor who is overall struggling with many of the same things that Curufin is, and in most ways he's ahead [typical, natural, bitterly surprising] but in some ways he's behind [mind-boggling, earth-shaking, weirdly satisfying in an uncomfortably vengeful way.])

(Vs Curufin who is so angry at and so so so disappointed and betrayed by his father but who has never consciously, and rarely unconsciously, experienced those feelings in that direction before [while alive to remember it] and doesn't really know how to do so, much less how to express it [the answer is 'sobbing while shouting', at least at first]. He's pretty accustomed to feeling them toward himself, though, except he's also very accustomed to ignoring that and/or blaming other people for it and feeling like a victim instead. He never felt it toward his son, not truly; it was just easier for a few years toward the end to include Celebrimbor in the list of people he blamed - but only in his very darkest moments, and it always set off a vicious circle of feeling even worse.)

Oh yeah Finwë definitely needs to be involved in this whole tangle of generations of fatherhood as well. But I have no idea how he fits in, just that he's among the people who all need to be put into a giant hamster ball together and gently shaken until they're all a little healed.

Btw corrollary to the above "you have to be okay with your children doing things you neither plan nor approve of" is "you have to be okay with things you make being viewed and used in ways you neither planned nor approved of." It's not always your right (@Fëanor) and it's not always your responsibility (@Celebrimbor - he's mostly learned the lesson but it still hurts. The recent end of the Third Age brought back how it hurts).

Additional Supporting Cast:

Maedhros: running around playing catch-up on the 3D chess game of Noldorin and Eldarin politics and public perception. (Note: I'm ambivalent as to whether this fic has to take place in a Celechwes-inclusive timeline, but if it is, she gets pregnant shortly before Fëanor's return and that's very thematically relevant.)

Maglor: hasn't entirely recovered from 6,000 years of self-induced Song-filled isolation, has apparently sworn some sort of fealty to Earendil?? No help.

Caranthir: busy trailing after his wife like a repentant puppy until she decided to let him back into her heart. No help.

Ambarussa: one of them, probably Amrod, took up weaving while drifting between Mandos's Halls and Vairë's, and is continuing that apprenticeship while alive again, so they're spending a lot of time with the grandparents.

Mahtan, who is quite near the top of the list of people whom Curufin doesn't want to look in the eye.

The Silmaril which is right over there on the far edge of the continent, he can feel it sometimes...and that's okay. It's where it neds to be, it's in the care of a (distant) (barely counts) kinsman, and more important Maglor is keeping some sort of eye on it. So it's fine. There's nothing he can practically do anyway, not without restarting a war; and that's not an option anymore than charging Angband was.

Huan, best boy. Has also been looking after Celebrimbor since he returned to life, because he's the best uncle in this family.

A wide assortment of OCs, including people who died in Himlad, people who followed Curufin to Doriath and died there, people who followed him to Doriath and survived beyond that, people who stayed with Celebrimbor in Nargothrond, people who were in Eregion and died, people who were in Eregion and survived...

I really want the whole line of Curufinwës to make something together, like, the very first scene is Curufin approaching Celebrimbor not for the first time, but for like the third time and this time he's suggesting a long-term project of some sort, which would give them the opportunity to spend time together in an activity they both enjoy and (used to) both enjoy and are accustomed to doing together. Then that spans the whole story. Idk what it is, though - I do want them to make Maedhros a hand that shoots lasers like Iron Man's glove, but that's not what The Project should be.

CURUFIN HAS TO GET AN EPESSË IN THE END, ONE WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FËANOR WHATSOEVER.