#especially knowing that these sort of dynamics can exist in real life.

[chiscribbs]

As promised, to show my thanks for getting Grown Apart AU through to the next @tmntaucompetition round - here's a little bonus treat:

A visual chart detailing all the major character relationships in the AU's first act! Enjoy!

(Click "keep reading" for some additional information on a few of the dynamics shown above.)

Splinter & Mikey - When the boys were still very small, Splinter used to take them with him on his excursions out of the sewers (either to get supplies or to search for the two missing turtles). During one of these trips, Mikey got separated from his dad and brother - they eventually found him, mostly unharmed, but the traumatic experience left a lasting mark on Splinter and he has worried about his youngest son ever since.

Leo & Raph - Leo and Raph are the first of the estranged brothers to meet, face-to-face. Raph finds Leo snooping around Draxum's lab and attacks him. Leo manages to escape, with his newly acquired portal sword, but the lab is destroyed in the clash. The two proceed to fight each other on multiple occasions after this, forming a sort of battlefield rivalry.

Donnie & Mikey - By complete and total coincidence, Donnie ends up saving Mikey's life after Draxum drops him off the roof of a building. Mikey takes this as evidence that Donnie is a good person and decides to trust him (despite Leo's protests). Realizing this, Donnie uses Mikey's "misplaced" trust in him as a ticket into the Hamato residence so that he can hide out there until he's apprehended the oozesquitos.

Raph & BM's Assistant - Although Big Mama and Draxum don't work together often, their business does tend to intersect on occasion. Because of this, Raph has had the odd encounter with Big Mama's masked companion. They've never spoken, though (not that BMA would speak even if they had gotten the chance).

Donnie & Raph - They're aware of each other's existence, thanks to their parents' occasional dealings, but haven't actually seen or spoken with each other. Big Mama largely limits Donnie's interaction with anyone outside of herself and hotel staff, and she's especially reluctant to let him meet other mutants (once she learns of their existence) or Draxum. This hasn't stopped him from listening in on some of her business chats via his surveillance tech and finding things out that way, though. Raph only knows Donnie as Big Mama's mechanic and the one responsible for her criminal empire's recent upgrade in technological advancements.

Splinter & Leo - Because of the incident that occurred when they were younger, Splinter has always had a soft spot for Mikey. Leo doesn't exactly resent this fact, but he does often feel like he gets short-changed on all accounts - when Splinter isn't around, Leo is responsible for keeping them both safe and out of trouble. When Splinter IS around, a majority of his limited attention generally gets directed towards Mikey. Thanks to this, Leo is left feeling both a little attention-starved and desperate for some independence. He's too proud to admit to his dad that he feels unseen, though, so he instead opts for causing a little mischief to get the desired attention.

Raph & Mikey - After learning that Raph is not only a mutant, like himself and Leo, but that they were created by the same person - Mikey becomes determined to befriend him and change his mind about humanity. He considers Raph part of the family - even before finding out that Lou Jitsu is their real father, thus making him their real brother. Raph doesn't quite share the sentiment, though - as far as he's concerned, Mikey's the one who's on the wrong side of the fight and no amount of niceness is going to convince him otherwise. (It does, however, make it a lot harder to hate him...)

Donnie & BM's Assistant - These two have a history that goes back several years and has soured with time...on Donnie's end, at least. He used to be close to BMA, considered them a friend for a little while, then something happened to change his opinion of them and caused him to see them as a rival. But what about BMA? What effect, if any, did the loss of Donnie's trust and friendship have on them? As with all things surrounding this character, it's a mystery...

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

I first realized that the best ghost stories are love stories after watching The Haunting of Bly Manor, and though I've experienced a lot of media since that reaffirmed that understanding, The Narrow by Kate Alice Marshall really feels like it's closing the loop. It rhymes with Bly in a way that feels like I've come to the end of some great journey, and am now prepared to start another. Like Bly, The Narrow is a story about abuse. It's a story about possession, in more than one sense. And it's a story that asserts that true love, the love that's worth keeping, is the love that knows how to let go.

Our story follows Eden, a senior at a prestigious private boarding high school rich with history and legends, especially around its deadly river, The Narrow, which is unapologetically based on the Bolton Strid. Eden is excited to return to school and escape a summer vacation marred by a profound abuse that she is refusing to think about. However, upon arrival she discovers that her parents have neglected to pay her tuition - coincidentally, they've had to pay a lot of legal fees recently - and she is forced to take on a unique arrangement to remain enrolled. She must act as the live-in companion of fellow student Delphine, a reclusive girl who cannot leave her carefully refurbished dorm room, as any contact with water sends her into seizures. Eden knows something about Delphine that almost no one else does, however - at the beginning of her first year, Eden saw Delphine fall into The Narrow and be swept away - and what The Narrow takes is never returned.

The mystery at the heart of the story is, ultimately, not that complicated, but it is beautiful in its simplicity and the way it plays with the reader's expectations. Those expectations are shaped heavily by Eden's point of view, and Eden is a triumph of an unreliable narrator. She actively avoids thinking about things that weigh on her and occasionally skates over her own actions where they clash with her self-image, but these more obvious and dramatic omissions draw attention away from the subtler ways that her biases and coping mechanisms shape her understanding of the world around her, and it took me until about the three-quarters mark to know where and how to disbelieve her perceptions. She is incredibly compelling, deeply empathetic, and absolutely drowning in self-worth issues. The supporting cast is equally compelling, and the author injects a surprising sense of depth into each member of her friend group in remarkably few lines. Each give the impression of being flawed, well-rounded, but fundamentally decent people, and they all feel very distinct from one another. I was going to highlight one of them as a favorite example, but I genuinely can't pick between them. The adults too are well-rounded and compelling, which I feel is often a shortcoming of horror in an academic setting (is that what dark academia is? no one will tell me). And of course Delphine herself is quite compelling; a little odd, very intense, and eminently sympathetic, her dynamic with Eden is fresh, engaging, and believable.

One thing I really want to highlight about this story is its willingness to engage with real-life messiness that is often elided in ghost stories and love stories. The mechanics of the supernatural are not well understood in this story, and no tomes of ancient lore exist to guide the protagonists. Their methods of interfacing with the supernatural are cobbled together from their own intuition and their vague impressions of the occult from pop culture and religious mysticism, and their efficacy is neither reliable nor consistent. Similarly, the story is not afraid of engaging with the fragility and volatility of young love, the way it can feel all-consuming and eternal in one moment and fizzle out the next. This sort of messiness always appeals to me in fiction, and it is remarkably rare outside of deliberate genre subversions, so I was absolutely thrilled with it here.

I would recommend The Narrow without hesitation to anyone who likes ghost stories. I would also recommend it for its exploration of abuse in a variety of forms, and for its depiction of the aftermath of said abuse. Take that same recommendation as a content warning, though, and I'll toss in a more specific one for involuntary drug use.

[theupstairskid]

Thinking about Buck's coma dream and I realized that, despite what Buck's dream tells him, there's a good chance that Buck would have still been heavily ignored by his parents regardless of if Daniel had lived or not.

Full disclosure I'm an only child so I don't have personal experience with sibling dynamics, but I think the show has given me enough evidence to support my theory/speculation.

First we start with the fact that Evan Buckley's entire existence is linked to and a condition of Daniel's health. For Philip and Margaret Buckley, Evan Buckley is and always will be a reminder of Daniel. Buck's coma dream gives us an idea of what Buck thinks Daniel might have looked like as an adult but we will never actually know. So maybe it's a physical resemblance or simply the conditions surrounding Buck's birth or both, but every time the Buckley's have looked at Evan they see Daniel. (I hope they get to a point where they see Buck for Buck and it seems like we might be heading there, but I'm only using information from the show up to the point of the lightning strike/coma.)

So the link between Daniel and Buck is simply this, if Daniel had been healthy Evan would not exist. If Daniel never had leukemia, Evan Buckley would have never been born. Sure, for argument sake we can say that maybe at some point Philip and Margaret would have wanted to expand their family, but based on my interpretation of the show the ONLY reason they had a third child was to make a match for Daniel so that he could have the bone marrow transplant. It seems to me that they were happy with their two children and had no original intention to have a third. (I also personally believe that if Buck hadn't been a match they would have tried for another child until they found a match, given their level of desperation.) And even if they did have a third child in this situation where they already have the family they wanted/planned there's no guarantee it would have been Buck since the conditions would have changed and the timing would have been off.

Now let's follow the path of the coma dream: in this scenario Daniel had leukemia, the Buckley's had Buck to save Daniel and Buck actually fulfilled the conditions of his birth. He saved his brother.

Buck is an unreliable narrator, we've seen a few examples of this throughout the show, and on top of that this dream starts out as sort of a wish fulfillment, a look at what could have been if the family tragedy never happened. In actuality it's kind of a "Sliding Doors" type situation where we learn what might have become of everyone else had Buck not gone through what he did and entered their lives the way he did.

But basically in his dream, Buck saves his brother and the Buckley family seems to be a strong family unit. The Buckley parents aren't distant or conditional with their affection and they are, for all intents and purposes, the parents Buck always wanted. Buck has the family he's always wanted. Semi-related, I'm actually curious about what made the entire Buckley clan, Doug included, move to California. The Doug thing is especially interesting given that you'd think he would want to separate Maddie from her family and having them be on the opposite coast would be perfect for that. But maybe since the Buckley bond is so strong since Daniel didn't die, maybe he had no choice but to go along with it. Also interesting is that the parents Buckley don't seem to dislike Doug in the dream like they do in real life.

I think it's pretty obvious that Buck's coma dream is an ideal fantasy, at least at the beginning. Until he realizes that Maddie is still with Doug, Bobby is dead, and Eddie's parents took custody of Christopher. (Which are all things Buck directly influenced)

Because I think that if Daniel had actually lived, Buck would have still been ignored and neglected. Sure the Buckley's could love and adore him as the savior baby and dote on him for saving his brother's life, but what I think is more likely is that they would still continue to focus all of their attention onto Daniel and Buck would get pushed to the wayside anyway. Daniel will need to recover and need more tests and treatments to make sure that the transplant worked after all. Daniel is still the child they wanted. Evan Buckley is the child they needed to save the one they wanted. As they say in the show, he's spare parts.

Even in the dream we see that Buck's conjuration of Daniel is somewhat domineering. He's stubborn and dismissive of other's concerns, certain that he's right. He doesn't really listen. He butts heads with Doug because they're both doing the "Alpha male" posturing thing. It could just be older brother behavior, but since this is really Buck talking to Buck, there's an implication that Buck knows would've always been deferring to Daniel had he lived.

I'm not sure if Maddie would also get pushed further aside, but I do think that Maddie would have had to take up parenting Buck anyway even if Daniel had lived. I think that Buck would have still hurt himself for attention and learned that his parents' love is conditional even if he had saved their beloved son, because: "No one has time to play with you; Daniel needs to rest, Evan." "We won't make it to your game, Evan, we need to take Daniel to the doctors." "Maddie is going to pick you up from school, Evan, we need to take care of Daniel." "Don't touch those Evan! Those belong to Daniel." "Oh this is our son Daniel, he's a leukemia survivor. Our amazing boy."

Evan Buckley was always going to be in Daniel Buckley's shadow regardless of if he lived or died.

[chocodile]

Hypothetically speaking, what would one of Hyden’s preceding siblings turned out to be like had they survived into adulthood? Doubly so if Hyden still came to be, courtesy of preemptive pessimism for child-viability, and they shared a household. I’d kill to know what sort of absurd dynamic he’d have with an Older Sister or what her appearance might be like in comparison (contrast ??) to his.

That's an interesting hypothetical!

*BELOW IS ALL NON-CANON SPECULATION*

I think many factors could influence this… the biggest ones would be "how good at magic is this hypothetical sibling" as well as "how physically and mentally fucked up is this hypothetical sibling." Going with the "older sister" route, I can see a couple different outcomes:

Older Sister who is much more sickly and/or unable to use magic at all: Hyden wouldn't be that different. He'd still grow up seeing himself as his family's only real heir. He would probably feel some resentment and anger to his sister for "wasting" his parents' time and energy despite being obviously unfit to inherit the family mantle. Otherwise, though, he'd basically act as if she didn't exist. Their mother Aurelia would immediately switch to caring about her magically-inclined son rather than her mundane daughter. The rejected Older Sister might find solace getting along with Arcturus III, their introverted and ineffectual father… which would only deepen Hyden's dislike for her.

Older Sister who is magically-inclined and not on death's door: This would get interesting. As a male heir, he would supersede her in terms of title inheritance--something she would be quite displeased by if she'd grown up planning her life around being heir apparent. So I could see a serious rivalry forming. I think that especially with Hyden's growth disorder making him get really tall at a really young age she'd see him as a noxious invasive cuckoo chick poised to rapidly overtake her life and replace her.

As Hyden has previously stated (?), "madness" runs in his family, though. There are… solutions… to an undesirable usurper poised to steal your title that are available to the morally flexible noble. And, well, he was always sickly, right? If poor, dear baby brother were to pass away in his sleep after something was slipped into his wine glass at dinner… who's to say it wasn't a death of natural causes? Maybe it would even be the kinder option. I mean, the family healer always said that he was unlikely to survive to adulthood…

Baby Hyden's longevity here would probably come down to whether or not he figured out what his sister was plotting and turned the tables on her before it was too late.

A related possible path: He goes against inheritance norms and bows out of the wizard family title battle entirely, giving up on his magic schooling and allowing Older Sister to claim the role of Viscountess. He gets an arranged political marriage to a woman from another noble family and goes into another line of work. Maybe being a political advisor or researcher of magical artifacts something.

As you can imagine, this would be not be voluntary. More of a "Mom and Older Sister have leverage against me that I cannot overcome and were planning to kill me to get me out of the way, so we reached an agreement." Hyden would not be happy feeling like he'd been discarded and cheated out of his birthright. He would probably spiral downward over the years, chronically unable to find fulfillment or satisfaction, which he would blame on the fact that he'd been denied the life he was obviously supposed to have.

There would, of course, be many whispers about why the male heir would give up his title, though. It would be a really bad look. They'd figure there must be something terribly wrong with him.

Long story short: They wouldn't have a good relationship. The Hyden family dynamic is doomed to be a mess no matter what because everyone involved is extremely spoiled, extremely inbred, and extremely desperate to grab whatever power they can. They'd scheme and murder each other until there was one left standing no matter what.

[darklinaforever]

I always wonder what exactly the accusation about me liking ships or men abusing women is based on ?

Like... like I have some sort of fetish about female suffering caused by men ? I don't know ?

I'm trying to find meaning in this accusation that I often make of myself, when in reality, generally these haters are just talking to me about the super popular enemies to lovers trope or ships with twisted / toxic dynamics without necessarily this particular trope, even if it's rather rare and the people who follow me know very well that this type of ship is not reserved for heterosexual couples, that I ship LGBTQ+ characters with this kind of dynamic.

So how does it work from this accusation of loving relationships where men specifically abuse women ?

Although, knowing their stupidity, I imagine they would say that liking this kind of dynamic on LGBTQ+ couples would simply be proof of my so-called homophobia / queerphobia ? 😂 After all the bullshit I've been through, we're not ready for that.

Especially since sometimes it’s women in the role of the villainous crush that I like, so what would that mean ? That I'm sexist for wanting women to be portrayed as villains perhaps ? 😂

Once again, the whole principle of often coming to tell me that I am problematic because I apparently like ships where men abuse women, makes no sense since sometimes it is the opposite, sometimes it is LGBTQ+ couples.

I just like, like many other people, seeing dark twisted complex and toxic relationships often in the enemy-to-lover trope.

Loving this type of relationship is not surprising. It has existed and been represented in the media for as long as it has existed simply because it is a fascinating concept to look at.

I mean, are you going to tell someone they're weird because they love watching movies about serial killers ? No, I do not think so.

And that for me is because liking to see this kind of relationship on screen is more often women who will appreciate seeing that, so immediately when a woman likes something in the media it is often demonized and we are going to point this out as one of the worst perverse things that can exist even though it is completely ridiculous.

How does loving fictional relationships give you an objective portrait of the person I am in real life ? This is really completely stupid.

Well, I went far, but all this to say that the accusation that I like ships where the man abuses the woman is really stupid.

I just like a trope no matter what type of couple is involved. Let it be the woman who is morally doubtful. Let the dynamic be there on a queer couple etc.

I imagine that this type of accusation is intended to give the impression that you are standing on the side of women and defending them, but the reality is quite different since you are allowing yourself to judge and moralize a trope very popular with women.

You are nothing but hypocrites trying to give yourselves the right moral role, and it is tiring.

[antimony-medusa]

honestly yeah u make a really good point in ur mcyt rpf post. i was Also the person bemoaning how mcyt defaults into vbrpf tags and that there isn't a separate set, but then i realized like. i spent Years writing fic about the roosterteeth crew, which all fell in a very similar gray area like mcyt. like looking at shit like fake ah crew fic, the characters written about there are very obviously separate from the real life people, but also they are intrinsically linked. the characters don't exist without the people. and even though we were all in fandom talking and writing about them like playing with dolls, it was still like... yeah okay this fits under the rpf umbrella still. i never questioned it then, or was bothered about it not being a separate tag set, because it didn't feel necessary. which is really the same situation with mcyt!! its just that for any number of reasons, mcyt fandom in particular tends to have a very loud and very vehement group that think rpf as a whole is abhorrent and doesn't even want to be clocked anywhere close to it. which like honestly thats a personal issue at that point, thats not on everyone else to deal with, and certainly not on ao3 to sort out.

Yeah like I think RPF has a bad reputation because of some very obvious bad actors who've behaved badly in the past that the whole internet knows about, and especially because MCYT was kind of the butt of the joke and hatred for a lot of social media sites, a lot of people were eager to emphasize that they weren't behaving like that, it was fine, they were being totally normal (and they had the creator's permission, hence the boundaries discourse and the twitter cancellations for anything "weird"), and nobody should hate them cause they totally weren't like those weirdos.

And that's a really understandable reaction to try and do, I also have gone into the comments of bracket polls and seen hate, but that also ignores that the vast majority of RPF is a) not actually hurting anyone b) is not any more egregious in its content than any other fandom c) Is not inherently weirder to the creators than anyone who avidly follows their social media and shows up at their meet and greet and like— tts them stuff. We've all seen people TTS stuff that should NOT have been said in view of the creators, but the vast majority of it is perfectly fine. I very much think we shouldn't be showing RPF to the creators, and because the boundary is thin for MCYT I extend that to thinking that there's a WHOLE bunch of stuff that we shouldn't be showing to the creators— from gore to shipping to nsfw to aging down family dynamics to stuff about people they've lost— but I don't think that reacting with a horrified gasp to anyone saying "oh yeah rpf" is actually necessary. Or heck, if you were watching twitchcon vids and you want to straight up write tagged-as-RPF, go with god, I don't think that's inherently any weirder than people who go to twitchcon to meet streamers. You like them a lot and you want to rotate them mentally and get a picture with them, that's like, fine. As long as we keep it in fandom spaces and don't make the streamers feel weird cause we're showing them it, you're just doing what people who got really into polygon videos over the pandemic did, or historians who write historical RPF about their ancient blorbos, or whatever. it's fine.

Particularly cause what I write is mostly aus, I've had to wrestle with the question of if what I'm writing is RPF, and I think it's (usually) not, I can tell in my head when I'm thinking streamers or when I'm thinking characters, but like, we're talking *really* fine distinctions at points. If someone thinks that it's RPF it's not an insult to me, I can tell how they get there, and me reacting like it IS an insult is kind of rude to my fandom neighbours who are writing Gamechanger RPF where they design their own challenges cause they just have so much fun with the show, you know?

Some of this is just that I'm in my 30s and I'm tired of fandom policing, I can coexist with a lot of shit if you just tag it appropriately so I can filter it if I need to. For the holiday exchange last year we had no RPF as a rule not because I had an issue with it, but because the form to get the information for it would have been literally two hundred checkboxes long and I didn't want to do that to my spreadsheets.

I kind of drifted from your point there, but yeah, I think MCYT is legitimately in a blurry spot when it comes to if it's RPF or not, but that's not something I think we need to get all up in arms about, and we certainly don't need to, as I saw someone recommend we all do, file a ticket with Ao3 to remove MCYT tags from Video Blogging RPF.

[sepublic]

Back from Godzilla x Kong! Gotta say, I love how you have this dynamic of... Mothra is Lawful Good, Kong is Neutral Good, and Godzilla is Chaotic Good. Because sure, Godzilla is officially the arbiter of nature's balance, he's the one keeping things in check; But boy does he not care about what he needs to do to get it done. I like how the Monsterverse has made Godzilla into quite the anti-hero as well; It's a nice mix of both heroic and villainous depictions. He has no real love for humanity, even if he begrudgingly acknowledges its right and need to exist.

If Godzilla needs to get from Point A to B, it doesn't really matter to him too much if there's a fully-populated city he needs to stomp through, especially if he's on short time (Conversely, Mothra and Kong seem much more sensitive to that sort of thing, Mothra especially). It really does make Godzilla feel like a wild card that humanity just has to accept and deal with, and coexists with uneasily; You know, in theory, he has your back. But you're still rightfully terrified of Godzilla, and hell so are other titans. He's the scariest kaiju on the block for a reason, and I love how he's still a mean city-destroying menace while technically being a 'good' guy. Portraying Goji from Kong's perspective, where he's often an antagonist, was a good way to maintain that terror that was alleviated with King of the Monsters' depiction.

Also, I can't help but imagine how relieving it was for Jia to find more Iwi! Trapper makes a good point about how she ends up having a lot of weight on her shoulders with saving the world, but you know what? She ends up having so much other weight taken off knowing there are other Iwi alive and thriving. For years, Jia must've been saddled with the burden of keeping her entire culture alive, finding a way to somehow preserve it and keep it going; But now she can relax, she knows it'll live on with or without her, and that makes Jia's decision to stay with Andrews all the more natural because she's free from obligation.

You know, seeing Monarch successfully augment Kong with cybernetics... I'd love to see the Monsterverse tackle Gigan soon, because with how technology has become so much more advanced since the first film in 2014, it feels plausible that some would see the success of Kong with the gauntlet and think; Hey, let's bring back that project full-force! Maybe they find Gigan, originally flesh and blood, deeply injured and torn apart after fighting Godzilla. Initially he's on life-support with artificial organs, but at some point investors decide, let's just reprogram him into a cybernetic attack dog to defend humanity with!

Alas, Gigan breaks free of his programming; And he ends up going on a killing spree. Because while other antagonists like Ghidorah or Skar King are ambitious warlords, Gigan is a pettier sadist, a bully who likes to hurt and torture. He kills for sport, and that's literally all he's going to do once he gets his upgrades, doing it all for no other reason than fun.

Of course, another part of me would really like to see Gigan still associated with aliens, too; Monsterverse has clearly become modern Showa, we've basically got magic now! And I like that, the weirder and more fantastical, the better. There's an underground civilization that uses ancient technology bordering on magic, the Iwi of the Hollow Earth are like the Monsterverse's Seatopians. So it seems a natural evolution to introduce a more one-to-one counterpart to Seatopia in another film, another group of Hollow Earth humans who want to destroy those on the surface, and worship Megalon's power to tunnel through the earth itself. And if you have Megalon, you should have Gigan, and if you have Gigan, you may as well throw in aliens, not just in the sense that they're from space like Ghidorah, but I mean like. Actual UFOs and the like.

[tanoraqui]

🔪❄️

[ask meme]

Already answered Knife.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

I know I've said this before, but I really would like someone who has actual experience being a parent and/or having a notably messy relationship with at least one parent to write a fic about Curufin returning to life in Fourth Age Aman and trying to reconcile with Celebrimbor, and then - before he's actually done doing that - Fëanor returns as well so Curufin also has to sort out how he feels and is reacting to that.

I'd like it to be written by someone with more real-life experience in this sort of emotional tangle than I have, because I just...don't have many strong opinions about parenting. Which this story would very much be about, though not exclusively. However, it WOULD need to follow exactly my headcanons for characterization, worldbuilding, and generally the moral dynamics of the cosmology, because god knows that will also come up.

Key characters and other components include:

Curufin has, over the millennia of being dead, resignedly come around to the "less evil would have been done in the breaking of it" position on the Oath. However, he's still very proud and fucking hates apologizing to anyone. He'll do it but he hates it.

He hates it much less when it's apologizing to Celebrimbor, almost not at all. Celebrimbor, however, is very reluctant to believe his father repents of anything except getting caught.

Yantalmandë, Celebrimbor's Vanyarin wife, who is ready to support him either by kicking any unwanted family firmly out the door or by sympathetically talking him through forgiving them, for his own sake if not theirs - whichever the situation requires. One of the most notable heretics in Aman for her theory that morality and ethics can and should exist entirely independently from the dictates of Eru and the Valar but rather be derived from the nature and experience of Arda. She's mildly embarrassed whenever people bring up her philosophical infamy.

(This is, in fact, somewhat the moral of the story: that when you make a living thing, you may raise and guide and advise them, but you fundamentally lose the right to dictate their choices. Children should be independent from their parents and both should be proud of this.)

Curufinwen, their daughter, at least 1,000 years old but vibes as mid-20s, who in family tradition holds her father to be probably the greatest and definitely her favorite person in the world, and who is distinctly more correct in this than the last 3 people in her eponymous lineage. Skeptical of her newly reincarnated family, but willing to give them a chance. Also, superb metallurgist/chemist/explosives expert.

Maltrinbor, Curufin's wife and Celebrimbor's mother, about as willing to forgive Curufin as Celebrimbor is but at a different angle. I still haven't decided whether I want her to be Noldorin (and died in the stormy sea-crossing, or in Dagor Bragollach after the slow eroding of her marriage?) or Teleri (and died at Alqualondë while trying to find her idiot husband and clearly-not-safe child, after walking away from them a decade ago?). Either way, she's a preeminent artist in glass and has been living near her parents near Aulë's mountain, focusing on craft all these millennia since her return, happy to be a mother but avoiding like spiders any royal politics (which Celebrimbor can never quite do.) SO disappointed in Curufin, for not being...better. In literally any way tbh. But especially for never stepping far enough out of his father's shadow to live up to his own potential.

Finrod in the role of frustratingly wise advice-giver, not least in the area of parenting because he's now had 7 children, and, when Curufin cracks and asks him for help, earnest confidant and supporter in this reconciliation. While also playing an extended game which he calls "social rehabilitation" and Curufin and Celegorm both call "publicly humiliating psychological torment." On top of everything else Curufin has to be grateful and/or apologetic to Finrod about, when Celebrimbor returned from Mandos, Finrod immediately took him under his wing and helped him fully recover from his trauma and comfortably re-settle into Valinorian society.

Veryawendë, Finrod's 4th daughter and Celebrimbor's best friend, artistic collaborator, and ally within the family. A superb jewel-smith and -sculptor who actually studied with Nerdanel in order to master form and sense of movement and life. Very ready to bodily kick unwanted parents or uncles out the door on his behalf.

Celegorm, Curufin's usual/former closest confidant, who is very sympathetic to Curufin's plight and of course he also wants to reconcile with his beloved nephew, but he's kind of focussed on reconciling with an entire Vala of the Hunt first so could you maybe stop ranting and help him, Curvo?

Nerdanel absolutely is involved in this, but I think she's trying - maybe by wrestling with herself - to stay out of it, and oblige her children and theirs to solve their own problems which they made.

And of course Fëanor, who comes out of Mandos regretting a great deal...but who is still too prideful to let himself be much diminished by this guilt, and so with all his vigor sets about trying to Fix What He Broke, which sometimes means the world's most undeniable earnest repentant apologies and sometimes means unthinkingly steamrolling everyone and everything in his path.

(Fëanor who never wanted his children to be consumed by his own fire - his own will, his own grief and rages - like kindling for the flame, but who probably didn't always communicate that in word or deed even before the Oath. Fëanor who, accustomed to Bonding Through Craft, tries to connect with his grandson by offering to teach him some techniques which have clearly been lost, and instead only sets off Celebrimbor's latent Annatar-related alarm bells. Fëanor who is overall struggling with many of the same things that Curufin is, and in most ways he's ahead [typical, natural, bitterly surprising] but in some ways he's behind [mind-boggling, earth-shaking, weirdly satisfying in an uncomfortably vengeful way.])

(Vs Curufin who is so angry at and so so so disappointed and betrayed by his father but who has never consciously, and rarely unconsciously, experienced those feelings in that direction before [while alive to remember it] and doesn't really know how to do so, much less how to express it [the answer is 'sobbing while shouting', at least at first]. He's pretty accustomed to feeling them toward himself, though, except he's also very accustomed to ignoring that and/or blaming other people for it and feeling like a victim instead. He never felt it toward his son, not truly; it was just easier for a few years toward the end to include Celebrimbor in the list of people he blamed - but only in his very darkest moments, and it always set off a vicious circle of feeling even worse.)

Oh yeah Finwë definitely needs to be involved in this whole tangle of generations of fatherhood as well. But I have no idea how he fits in, just that he's among the people who all need to be put into a giant hamster ball together and gently shaken until they're all a little healed.

Btw corrollary to the above "you have to be okay with your children doing things you neither plan nor approve of" is "you have to be okay with things you make being viewed and used in ways you neither planned nor approved of." It's not always your right (@Fëanor) and it's not always your responsibility (@Celebrimbor - he's mostly learned the lesson but it still hurts. The recent end of the Third Age brought back how it hurts).

Additional Supporting Cast:

Maedhros: running around playing catch-up on the 3D chess game of Noldorin and Eldarin politics and public perception. (Note: I'm ambivalent as to whether this fic has to take place in a Celechwes-inclusive timeline, but if it is, she gets pregnant shortly before Fëanor's return and that's very thematically relevant.)

Maglor: hasn't entirely recovered from 6,000 years of self-induced Song-filled isolation, has apparently sworn some sort of fealty to Earendil?? No help.

Caranthir: busy trailing after his wife like a repentant puppy until she decided to let him back into her heart. No help.

Ambarussa: one of them, probably Amrod, took up weaving while drifting between Mandos's Halls and Vairë's, and is continuing that apprenticeship while alive again, so they're spending a lot of time with the grandparents.

Mahtan, who is quite near the top of the list of people whom Curufin doesn't want to look in the eye.

The Silmaril which is right over there on the far edge of the continent, he can feel it sometimes...and that's okay. It's where it neds to be, it's in the care of a (distant) (barely counts) kinsman, and more important Maglor is keeping some sort of eye on it. So it's fine. There's nothing he can practically do anyway, not without restarting a war; and that's not an option anymore than charging Angband was.

Huan, best boy. Has also been looking after Celebrimbor since he returned to life, because he's the best uncle in this family.

A wide assortment of OCs, including people who died in Himlad, people who followed Curufin to Doriath and died there, people who followed him to Doriath and survived beyond that, people who stayed with Celebrimbor in Nargothrond, people who were in Eregion and died, people who were in Eregion and survived...

I really want the whole line of Curufinwës to make something together, like, the very first scene is Curufin approaching Celebrimbor not for the first time, but for like the third time and this time he's suggesting a long-term project of some sort, which would give them the opportunity to spend time together in an activity they both enjoy and (used to) both enjoy and are accustomed to doing together. Then that spans the whole story. Idk what it is, though - I do want them to make Maedhros a hand that shoots lasers like Iron Man's glove, but that's not what The Project should be.

CURUFIN HAS TO GET AN EPESSË IN THE END, ONE WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FËANOR WHATSOEVER.

[edsheerankinnie]

favourite less common mlp ship? also if you want to rant about them please do!!!!

ooh this is a tuff one bc i dont have a FAVORITE favorite per say. but there are a couple i do enjoy!

soarburn: ok so i actually wrote a fic on this! Ik theres absolutely no basis for this in or outside of the show, but part of what makes it so fun is imagining all the interactions they COULD have. I mean, think about it, Braeburn's super extroverted, charming, and hospitable; Soarin's an accomplished athlete, plus hes friendly and simplistic--kind of reminds me of their female counterpart (appledash). Like guys imagine Soarin in his suit and Braeburn ~flirting~ w him.. ouhhh imagine their banter !!

lunajack: ok ive actually seen some rlly good takes that got me on this ship! If i didnt hc Luna as aroace it'd 1000% be one of my top ships of all time. They could have such a good princess x pauper dynamic, a high society royal x simpleton farmer union. Plus like others have said, Applejack is one of the most people ponies ever and has this inherent, idk kindness?? and Luna meanwhile has this huge distance from others because of her years of exile, her particular role as a princess, and all of the walls shes built up from the guilt of nightmare moon. She was one of the first ponies to try and connect to luna in the most welcoming way possible despite her aura that one time she visited ponyville. Hell even luna called her "fair Applejack" at some point😭 like u cannot tell me aj's heart didnt at LEAST skip a beat😭. imagine being a farmgirl just hangin out in a scarecrow fit on nightmare night and the literal goddess of the moon calls you "fair" in return for some of your help, im weakkhjghfhgjfg

sugarmacbra: So actually im (sort of) writing a fic on this. The only reason it exists is bc i recently found out big mac is canonically bi and polyamorous (at least according to his VA), and im a sucker for a good polycule. That added with sugarmac (which i adore) and the fact that King Sombra is literally also bi, i was like, hey, what if we combined these elements, right?? Anyways, im not so much a fan of the dynamic that exists so far as i am of the idea of big mac in the most bisexual polycule ever, but who knows? maybe ill continue the fic and create the most life-changing heart-wrenching three-way pony love story

Cadance x Shining Armor x King Sombra (their ship names suck😭): Speaking of polycules, this one has a lot of potential. Sure, shining Armor is the straightest guy alive, but if we could pretend hes bisexual for a minute, i think him and Sombra in particular could have a LOT of chemistry. Plus given how hes basically smitten w his wife, i love the idea of him being in love w BOTH of them, like, more love for the golden retriever himbo !! Ik its not a super fleshed out especially on cadance's end, but the potential is there. Also, this ship has nothing to do w *that* ao3 fic (and if u dont know what im talking about i promise u dont need to see it. its gross).

somburn: I think we can all agree on braeburn giving massive fruit vibes, plus his overall personality. I was actually really inspired by this one post. I kind of need this to be real now. I love the idea of this evil fuckin guy having a sweet spot for plain ol Braeburn, who in contrast chooses not to see sombra as an evil threat but instead a smexy hot hunk. And to top it off, he "tames" Sombra/Sombra sort of changes for the better to be w him? Honestly its so cute.

anddd thats all i can think of atm lol. this took me way longer than i expected to answer

[mechanical-aristocrat]

What are your thoughts on Screwllums letter to Svarog? I'm open for discusstions.

[OOC:]

My immediate thought upon reading it was "this is super wholesome and cute" and yeah, I still definitely think that, but I've got a lot more to say now that it's been sitting in my brain for few days so buckle up:

First off, this man is so totally autistic /aff (as is literally any robot character in any piece of media, you can't convince me that an allistic robot is a thing that exists). Over explaining to make sure the exact point he's trying to get across does so as accurately as possible and apologizing in advance for accidentally crossing boundaries (considering that at this point in time Svarog is basically a complete stranger), as an autistic person myself it's very relatable to see.

Second, I think it's really funny that he only knows of Svarog's existence because he watched what is essentially an E-Sports tournament, which he only watched because Silver Wolf practically begged him to (because I think we can pretty safely assume that the "Stellaron Hunter friend" he was referring to was her); that just adds onto the relatability for me because I also do not give a flying fuck about E-Sports, he's so real for that. I love Screwllum and Silver Wolf's dynamic with each other, they give off uncle-niece vibes and it's very fun (what I don't understand and will never understand is people shipping them with each other, it makes me really uncomfortable for several reasons, but for the sake of my sanity I'm not going to get into it).

Third, the letter honestly just confirmed some of the headcanons I had once I sat down and read all the lore regarding the Machine Emperor Wars about a month ago (which I highly recommend btw it's super interesting stuff). I guess I sort of had the fear that Hoyo would try to make it so the IPC just completely dropped every last bit of their idea to exterminate all mechanical life the second Screwllum proved to them that robots aren't inherently harmful to humanity, and that everything was just magically okay after that and humans and machines could live in perfect harmony with absolutely no conflict whatsoever. Thank fuck they didn't do that because that would've been both super boring and super unrealistic, Screwllum acknowledges within the letter that there are many places where robots are regarded only as tools, they don't often have the same sort of foot holding in society that humans do, and he hopes that changes someday.

(one of the headcanons that I have regarding this is that there's a secretive group of people within the IPC that are specifically trying to fuck up Screwllum's reputation and the reputations other robots who are also massive public figures that advocate for robot rights, but especially in Screwllum's case they haven't found much success because that man does not have a single problematic line of code in his programming)

Lastly, I would kill to see Screwllum and Svarog properly interact in the future, I think they'd get along so well and their dynamic would be so fun. I don't necessarily ship them, but more power to you if you do, honestly I might eventually be convinced to ship them if more stuff like this shows up, this was super cute (also, before anyone reading gets confused, the "we will come to call each other "brothers"" bit at the end of the letter does not mean anything that would make shipping these two characters quote-on-quote "problematic". The word "brothers" in this context purely refers to a strong bond of friendship and mutual understanding. I honestly should not have to explain that, but considering that the internet is the internet, I figured I ought to).

[tscritical]

Hi just another anon here. I find criticizing my favorite stuff fun and interesting so I have a thing to bring up.

The way Thomas interacts very actively and personally with his fan base, incorporates fanon into the content to the point where fanon almost defines the series, and makes content that is very “nurturing” in nature (which is also clearly aimed at a younger audience) creates a perfect storm for unhealthy parasocial connections. I will say that this is partially on him (and his team) maybe? Idk

But also that unhealthy parasocial behavior can take on many forms, like feeing that a person can do no wrong, seeing them as a replacement for real human connection, or even (possibly like you and me right now) obsessively looking for things to criticize about the person/overthinking the things they do. We probably wouldn’t be here criticizing Thomas Sanders in such a detailed fashion at all if we didn’t have at least somewhat of a parasocial connection to him. If we detached ourselves from him we would say “yeah, well he’s a celebrity. I don’t even know him, and he probably goes through stuff that isn’t my business. Lack of content happens, so eh. Celebrities advertise because they want to make money. Thomas Sanders isn’t different, and it is what it is.”

We don’t see Thomas and his crew as a for-profit organization because they fostered that image on purpose. All YouTubers do. A relatable guy who would be your friend, even though celebrities aren’t your friends, and they live a very different existence than regular people (valuing status, image, and money in a way regular people don’t)

I won’t go into detail, but I have a very complicated relationship to sanders sides because of this atmosphere of parasocial relationships that is rampant in the fandom. I found sanders sides when I was in a really difficult place mentally, and it was comforting but I also had a sort of… bad feeling about it? It made me physically anxious for a while and I didn’t know why. A lot has happened in my life since then that I’m still processing so my feelings about this are a bit of a mess.

Idk it’s 3am and I’m rambling. Sorry for the long ask, I had some Thoughts

yeah there’s definitely something to be said about the parasocial aspect of it all, even if i don’t quite have the spoons or brain cells to go into a detailed discussion about it

basically Shit’s Complicated lmao

and you’re so right about the fanon influence, it’s especially obvious in the five year anniversary video (for example: when the sides all declare their roles in the “family dynamic” (patton being the dad, logan being the mom, etc) and perpetuating the idea of family being these strictly defined roles. i have nothing good to say about that shit)

[eldritch-spouse]

Thank you for answering my ask about lust monsters so detailed! I hope it didn't come off as judgemental to others who enjoy lust monsters (I just wanted to say how I enjoyed your work which is new for me).

I really like monster-loving for exploring "forbidden" topics. People who are interested in things outside what is considered "acceptable" are often mobster-ised so it makes sense that we enjoy monster loving. (Especially since monster loving has often historically been about autonomy and/or the ostracised loving and being loved)

I find your universe really interesting, especially the idea that certain more powerful monsters (I forgot what you called them, I think it started with V?) Like Krulu and Hummuna Mama exist.

It's an interesting take on our pursuit for an "all powerful" boss at the top of the proverbial pyramid. Th fact that there are those considered gods that are of the same species but not necessarily the same "pantheon". They all have different interests and goals but it isn't portrayed as a "war of evil vs good" - it's less black and white in a way that humanists them while being consistent to the fact that they're disturbingly inhuman. It creates an interesting dynamic.

There being different types of powerful monsters & monster power structures as well (the icons of the rings of hell > demons of the rings > imps, the scientifically created monsters, the clergy structure) makes a mismatch of cultures in a way that makes the world more bustling and rich. It's kind of a paganistic/pan approach that I really love!!

Real life doesn't follow a simple a > b > c pipeline and is more messy so the wonder/wildness in your stories that allow escapism and exploration of weird ideas/topics isn't overshadowed by a sense of being lost in the senseless madness that's trying too hard to be mad. (Idk if that makes sense)

Stories often use "rules" and "laws" within the world (sort of a "okay, this ridiculous thing can happen because of this explanation behind it, but because of that this other can never happen because that would be ridiculous"). And I love how different writers approach it but sometimes it can be restricting and easy to forget there are always exceptions to the rules. It can be daunting.

Are there any aspects of your world that you feel exceptionally proud of? Or any that you put a different line of thought behind? I always like hearing about the thought process of authors who write monsters & fantasy

[Once more, most of it under the read more.]

I don't really dwell on the "why"s of monsterfucking. There's always some level of psychology behind it -And I know this sounds ridiculous, but you could make a pretty interesting sociological study about certain aspects of this philia- Everyone has their own reasons as to why they developed this, and I don't really take "pride" in it in the sense that I feel special for being a monsterfucker or that I revel in my own perceived "otherness".

This kink is for those who fit in and those who do not, which makes it a little weird when I see one or two rare instances of people making a weird sort of gaslight gatekeep girlboss situation out of it. Again, it's not too often I find this.

The monster species you're talking about are "siadar" (the longer designation being "astsar siadar"). It's hard for me to create all-powerful figures. For an all powerful character to succeed, they need to be used very carefully and scarcely, because the more of them you expose, the more you risk showing flaws in their design and supposed omnipotence. That's why I made it a point to not do that. Siadar are considered gods, but in reality they're just another species, with their own defined natures.

I leave a lot of loose and undefined ends in this narrative on purpose, and this is so that I can always pick and pluck at new sides and aspects of what I've already built, effectively never running out of potential content to explore. I can one day start chipping at siadar culture harder. I can go into the period of time where Hell was governed by the betrayer (which I intend to do something with, something that is already beginning but you can't tell yet). I can poke at all kinds of things.

I don't think the rules I've made thus far are restricting, but let's be honest, I'm leaving a lot of things vague on purpose specifically to allow myself a looser leash when creating pieces.

I wouldn't really say there's something I'm particularly proud of, so to say?

I liked incorporating the idea of Heaven and Hell not as "black and white" systems of "good and evil". Heaven is not a place where you go to when you die and have been good, nor is Hell a place you get dragged into post-death because you were a piece of shit in life. They're their own areas with a lot of history behind them, the general perception of which having been distorted somewhat with time, both by outsiders and insiders.

I like the way I've built religions in this universe, even if it would take me a long while to explain how each annex to "the surface" is perceived and why that's the case.

In fact, I like the origin behind monsters I concocted too, even if it's not exactly the most original.

Dorem's relationship with undead is also something I enjoyed thinking out, because most people assume a figure like him would revel in the chaos undead entities make, when Dorem is only a soulkeeper being constantly worn down by the shackles of his own work, constantly faced with what he perceives as his mistakes- Who, as the final nail in the coffin of his dignity, worship him as if he intentionally created them.

I like a lot of things about my narrative, but I'm not going to sit here and write paragraphs of what essentially amounts to petting my own ass.

The input was nice though! :v

[entriprises]

questions about mun’s taste in muses.

5: who is / was your favourite muse of all time to play?

of all time... that's so hard. it's been like a decade and there's just been so many muses over the years, and honestly? it's not even about the muses usually. writing with other people makes them fun, it makes them alive so. i don't know. sorry that's not an actual answer. i love a lot of them, and i love everyone who has given me the chance to write them.

8: who is your latest muse? can be someone you’re only considering / not planning to play at all, but is tempting you.

my latest muses are tadashi and baymax from big hero six! i'm very excited to write them, especially both sides of the inventor / invention dynamic. i think that's so interesting to explore. i think baymax will be silly and a lot of fun and i look forward to that!

10: if you play original muses with canon roots  ( like oc siblings, coworkers, etc. )  or someone who’s been either just a name or a few lines of dialogue in canon, how do you build that character? do you pick the muse first and build from there, or do you need have the muse ready in your head and only then pick the connection, or a combination of the two?

this is something i do across the board with muses -- i rewatch the media. i find scene packs and movie clips and i just watch those little bits and interactions and i start to build a little framework. take bob for example -- i watch every bit of it, and then i start looking at how he talks, the patterns, the situations. what causes him to speak in a group setting? when he makes a remark who is it and what's the level? is he copying something he has seen other people do? like how nat calls jake bagman, and then bob picks it up too. from there i start to expand out. i have a framework for certain social situations, who is he closest to? what kind of people are they? somewhere along the way i'll start to look for similarities with other characters, people i know, situations. this is a big part of playing cathy -- some parts are pulled from moms/mom figures of tv and film like chessy from the parent trap and others are real life things from mom's i know. the biggest thing to me when building a canon with very little is to take the world they live in and try to understand it. nobody exists alone, and every part of life has some sort of impact on who we are, what we believe, how we tie our shoes, or how we react when we're emotional. i don't really pick the muse first, i sort of just find something that i want to know more about, or something i feel i do know well and then it goes from there!

sent by @fyrewalks

[smallcrystals]

pls pls pls i need some flashspruce headcanons, idc what they're abt i just NEED

i've been on the verge of insanity lately

this is so real and honestly your insanity brought back mine so thank you

i feel like part of the reason i've kinda fell off my eqg soapbox is bc i felt like i've said all i've ever wanted to say abt them, but i don't think i have actually! if you do not mind me repeating myself occasionally:

between flashspruce, flash has the most experience with boys despite having realised his attraction to them later than timber did. this is mainly because flash is surrounded by more boys because high school, the maths is pretty simple

timber, on the other hand, had a more complicated relationship with sexuality because his gender was doing all sorts of funny things. he had an idea that he was pan (of course, he didn't have the words for it yet) but he was never sure if he was romantically interested in boys or just admired them so obsessively he wanted to be one. as timber grew into his teen years he realised it was both lol

timber hides this with his confidence but flash can see right through it because he's dealt with boys like this before when they've hit on him previously (though they're never quite as cute as timber is. pretty privilege i tell ya)

when they're friends, they have this specific dynamic that idk how to explain (the closest i can think of is hyung-dongsaeng in korean culture), but essentially it's this feeling of wanting to dote on your friends that are younger than you (even if it's just by months). that's how flash treats timber in the early stages – flash finds out he's older than timber by a few months and now he cannot think outside of timber = baby

timber loves the mane 7 but if flash is tagging along with their hangouts (which is usually the case, timber only rarely hangs out with them as a group by himself), he's very clingy and has his arm hooked with flash's. flash finds it adorable, especially when timber refuses to let go in public

i see 2 ways in which they can go from friends to lovers; either it's very natural and it doesn't feel like anything's changed, OR they've reached a breaking point where they're just seconds away from devouring each other. sunset says that sometimes flash looks at timber like he will leave bite marks on the guy if he doesn't stop whatever he's doing (existing). both are good i'd say

timber has always filmed little candids of flash when they start being friends, mainly on his phone but whenever they're out by themselves, he brings his fancy camera out. flash doesn't know this, mainly because timber doesn't show him out of embarrassment, but you can really tell the person who filmed the videos loves their muse

flash sends over lyric docs whenever he feels like it and usually these are without any context, literally no "hello" or "how are you", just [text].doc and timber's like ???. but then timber reads them and is like sad™. timber's never admitted to this, and it'll take him a while to do so, but there have been certain lines in flash's lyrics that had him crying. how many chances do you get in life where your muse considers you their muse too?

flash sometimes buys timber books that he's read just so timber can also read them and then freak out the same way he did. most of the time timber's reaction is "why would you make me read this i am now clinically insane" which was exactly flash's goal

i would try to debate who would be the pathetic lover between flashspruce but there is no answer to that bc they are both equally pathetic in their own ways sorry loverboys

flash actively joins timber when he goes to get more wood just so he can see timber in a tanktop and an axe but flash will deny this every step of the way

timber can't say anything though bc man does this as well during the summer months when the flash drive are performing at bars; flash is Not about to wear leather in this weather and timber's gonna enjoy every moment of it

and yeah flash teaches timber the guitar bc what is he if not a lover of music and queer rockstars (he thinks timber could make a really cool queer rockstar if not for the fact he would steal a million of girls' hearts in one second and a smile)

these two make me want to chew a wall. dead serious

(i see your ask about flash, i will get to that soon i promise 🫡)

[markiafc]

curiously and politely paging @fancifulpurposelesslovely to ask about summer sons thoughts, if that's okay!

in particular, the andrew/sam power dynamic + what that means for their relationship post-canon, because i think we both picked up on the same undertones in the text but came to different interpretations. and i'm just intrigued to poke more at your take and hear more about it.

on my end, the baseline of it is, i think andrew's passiveness and his over-reliance on a second party to act as his lighthouse is present throughout the events of the book. he expresses this desire explicitly and implicitly, to be owned, leashed, and led. and i've always seen it as a result of trauma more than anything else, relating to the cavern and therefore to eddie as well. i often think andrew's arc is about many things, but one of the top things is that he's learning to be a real boy. instead of being half a human being, living only a small portion of personhood. the way he was after the cavern and early on in the book.

i think there's andrew grows a lot throughout and comes into his own; the eddie/andrew relationship feels like it is hardcore bdsm-coded but for two boys who don't know anything and they're just kids thrust into this dynamic to cope, and even eddie seems to become miserable and burdened by having to carry andrew through life. it feels like to me he really did want that space away from andrew. he really wanted to have a world, a time with things he forged in nashville just for himself, albeit temporarily. the cavern is this thing that forced them both into this shape and they never got the help to learn another way of being, no matter how miserable it made them amidst the intimacy and love.

and the story is, to me, andrew slowly expanding his horizons, unearthing parts of himself and his life that he had been cut off from, and finally getting a feel for who he really is, a complete andrew blur. he discovers and accesses his sexuality for the first time, both sexual sensibilities and his sex drive. and unlike with eddie, he lets himself engage with his agency as a human being; he breaks into a whole new world through sam, and finds that he's able to have a different kind of dynamic with him, finds that he can grasp at his anger and annoyance at being ordered around and act on it. theres no need to make himself do what sam wants just because sam wants it, and he feels comfortable delivering a rejection. ("i'm not your bitch so tell him yourself.")

the cavern stunted him as a person and eddie too, and there's a throughline there about overlooked childhood trauma. especially for male queer victims in a suburban setting, already expected to be social and sexually active with women and drug-using.

character arc-wise, and mostly centering andrew blur, i've always thought he would outgrow the heavily codependent dynamic he had with eddie, where his primary role in life was to act as eddie's right hand man of sorts, everything eddie wants eddie gets, and andrew blur exists to provide a personal service to eddie fulton. hobbies, academics, careers, relationships, every sector of his life he has developed not for himself but in devotion of someone else. someone he was forced to become metaphorical bride to at 12.

post-canon, after andrew's matured and come into his own, i imagine he can bring these new parts of himself into the relationship with sam, things he never had with eddie. and it would be different, something straying further from bdsm dynamics.

and this got real long, but i'm curious because i feel like you know more about the bdsm side of things better than i do. and my own is pretty rudimentary, so andrew never struck me as someone who is submissive and enjoys it.

this is not to say sam/andrew don't have those vibes, they soo do, andrew/eddie were 10000% like that in practice, and andrew definitely has the submissive markers. though to me, he embodied that role, developed those traits and lived that life with eddie due do a unique set of traumatic circumstance.

so, no hate or judgement, i just wanted to share and wanted to hear more about this book. especially from a different perspective, when i feel like we both did read the same book and saw the same things. i'm more than happy to trade takes.

open invitation to talk about this book and the andrew/sam power dynamics, basically!

[m0srael]

A series in which I ask my mutuals for fanwork recs, and then come back and tell you why I loved them. Any chance you have something to rec (the criteria are virtually non-existent)? Please, please send it on. Here is my original ask with more info.

I Was Recced:

Make This Leap by @oflights [Drarry | M | 118k]

Harry owns a struggling restaurant which is running out of money, and his Head Chef has just handed in notice. He's at a bit of a loss as to what to do until Narcissa Malfoy presents an obvious solution: bring in Draco Malfoy as Chef and part owner. Harry does.

One Sentence Recap: Make This Leap is a lushly detailed, beautifully imagined slice of life-turned-mystery story about the wizarding restaurant industry, yes, but also healing from trauma, learning to stand firm in one's convictions and sort out one's priorities, and cherishing family in all it's forms.

The fact that a sourdough starter--with a name!--is a tagged character should give you some insight into how thoroughly imagined the world of this story is--and yes, you WILL become emotionally attached to Valerius! This is a hefty fic that I consumed (relatively) slowly over the course of a couple weeks, which had nothing to do with the length and everything to do with the fact that each and every chapter of this story feels like a full meal! I would also be remiss if I didn't say that this fic has one of the best final lines I've seen in a long time (yes, you will have to read it to know what it is). There is SO MUCH I could gush about in regards to this story (again, that has nothing to do with the length), but here are a few highlights:

🌍 The World Building Like I said, the level of detail in this story is incredible. I feel like I've been to the White Owl--Harry's restaurant--because the author put so much time and care into imagining and describing it. Even more robust than the place descriptions, though, are the people. All of the characters in this story, whether they are familiar from canon or the author's OCs, are fully fleshed out, nuanced, and entirely relatable. Each new character that we meet is introduced to us for a reason, and all of their stories are treated with the care and attention they deserve. By the end of this fic I was so fully immersed in Harry and Draco's world and so enamored of all the people who populate it that I didn't want to leave.

👩‍👩‍👦‍👦 The Relationships Oflights is exceptionally skilled at building characters with believable personalities and backstories. It's been a while since I've read a fic where the characters feel both so true to their canon personalities and wholly unique and perfectly at home in the world of the story. One standout for me in this story is Hermione--she's frustratingly nosy and presumptuous, assumes she knows what's best for everyone around her, and has a less-than-perfect relationship with Molly Weasley. As much as I found myself rolling my eyes at her, I think she is perfectly written and the love between her and Harry in particular is complex, deep, and so real. Another relationship I absolutely adored in this story is the one between Narcissa and Andromeda--they are sharp, fiercely caring, and hilariously meddlesome, especially when they team up. The family dynamics between Harry, Draco, Teddy, Andromeda, and Narcissa are absolutely pitch perfect and made my heart ache in all the best ways. I loved getting to experience Harry's evolving relationship to the idea of family and the people in his life that he considers family.

🔥 The Pacing Speaking as someone who has never come close to writing a fic this long, I am always in awe of people who can make every single word feel meaningful and engaging! The story unfolds at the most perfect pace, letting the reader come to know all of the different characters slowly but surely. There's a mystery lingering within the story from nearly the beginning, and the moment that it takes center stage feels entirely right and exciting. The slow burn between Harry and Draco is so satisfying, and their relationship (professional, friendly, and eventually romantic) builds at such a believable pace. That said, I do really appreciate that because we're experiencing this story from Harry's POV we get to see how much of a dumb, lovesick baby he is. I deeply appreciate how unguarded Harry is with his affection for everyone around him--Teddy, Andy and Narcissa, and especially Draco. And yet, Harry has a LOT of baggage to work through when it comes to Draco and romantic love--he doesn't figure out his life overnight, and he and Draco have to have some hard conversations along the way.

If you read this (or have read it), let me know what you think!!

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Make This Leap was recced to me by @geesenoises so I read:

The Best Laid Plans [Drarry | T | 2.2k]

With Harry at Hogwarts most of the year and Draco working at St. Mungo’s, they don't get to see each other very often. So when Madame Pomfrey announces her plan to retire, Harry sets out to change that.

This absolute treat of a fic was written for the Wheel of Drarry Exchange as a gift for @pennygalleon, but it feels like a gift for us all! Geese perfectly captures a very HJP sort of thoughtless desperation and impulsive scheming, driven naturally by desire. He clearly loves Draco so much and is quite dumb about it in the most delightful way. In the end, it turns out Draco might be just as dumb in love, too. I highly recommend nibbling on this as soon as you can if you want something sweet, satisfying, and perfect!

Ride It Like You Stole It [Free! | E | 4.1k]

This is a collection of au ficlets based around the universe of the anime Free! Iwatobi High School Swim Club featuring an incredible mix of rare and not-so-rare pairs. I'm new to the Free! universe and fandom, so when I saw Geese had written my new favorite swim boys I had to dive in immediately. I am in awe of the way that Geese can craft a fully imagined world in only a few hundred words and find the heart of a ship in the process. The au scenarios are inventive and delightful, and this whole collection is so much fun!!

Thanks for sending me a recommendation!