#especially when the aftermath was SO anticlimactic

[academicdisasterfic]

h/d microfic: stud by troye sivan

part of my drarry x spotify wrapped venture: you can read the previous one here.

warnings/tags: trans realisations, dysphoria, changing pronouns, not liking sex until it's t4t sex, amazing t4t sex that changes your perception of yourself and also reality, descriptions of afab genitalia especially trans cocks bc they are actually so powerful <3

After the war, Draco decides to fuck.

She’d avoided intimacy during the war for obvious reasons, but now, in the fading aftermath, she decides she can - and should - fuck.

It does not go well.

On her first attempt with Theo, he goes to cup her breasts, and she slaps him before she realises what she’s done. In bed with Oliver Wood, he calls her a good girl and she nearly gouges his eyes out. She takes Pansy up on her long-standing offer of experimentation and it feels less dangerous, but just as anticlimactic, as sex with men.

It’s classic Draco, really: something that should have been empowering and rebellious and fun is now just another way she’s disappointed herself.

She starts to think that perhaps she just doesn’t like fucking. Surely it’s not meant to feel like such a mental exercise, like she has to put all her focus into pretending her body isn’t really there, like it isn’t her breasts and hips and vagina being touched.

Perhaps she is too damaged, or too repressed, or just too cowardly to be touched.

But she still, inexplicably, craves it. Even though the reality is painful and awkward and not at all what she wants, she still craves to be touched in the way she imagines it could be done.

Just when she thinks she might stop fucking, Harry Potter comes out.

She sees him for the first time in person at Ginny and Blaise’s housewarming. He’s sitting on the counter with a bottle of lager, laughing at something Luna is saying. His shirt is snug across his new, flat chest. His jaw is squarer, and facial hair is starting to creep across it. It’s suddenly impossible to imagine him any other way. 

Draco stares at him all night, and when she can bear it no longer, she corners him in the bathroom. 

‘You look good,’ she says in lieu of a greeting, and he flushes.

They go to his place, and quicker than she can process, everything changes.

He takes off his shirt and she runs her hands over the raised, tight lines on his chest, licks over his new nipples. He takes off his pants and shows her his cock, stroking over it so that it protrudes, swollen and perfect, from between his lips. While she sucks on it, she hears him whisper you’re made to take me, and then she’s suddenly desperate and shaky, aching to be touched in a way she never has. 

He buckles the strap around his square hips, lets her choose the cock she wants, fucks her and then uses his fingers until she has her first ever orgasm, shuddering and gasping into his hair.

Draco knows who he is by the end of it.

It seems impossible that it should be so easy. That all it takes is seeing his body against Harry’s to understand this huge hunger that’s always followed him around, insatiable and incurable.

But of course Draco is this. Of course Harry would be the one to hold the mirror up.

In the weeks that follow, Harry teaches him how to use tape, and offers to cut his hair, and one day Draco will take him up on it. Perhaps he will use gel like Harry does, or get surgery, he isn’t sure.

He’s not in any rush. For now, they fuck like boys do, and Draco is exactly who he wants to be.

[writing-whump]

Hey! I'm new around Tumblr and since the first day I found your blog.. I'm literally obsessed with your fictions!! Love the fictions, characters... I think you're one of the bests 💕💕Especially, I love Hector and Isiah, bromanceee!💖

Umm, when you have time and done with the fics on your list, would you consider a new one about Hector who's reeeally sick with high fever (and some other symptoms which is totally up to your imagination) and Isiah taking care of him?? I'd really love to read that!

♡Thank you with sharing these characters and world with us!

Hello nonny and welcome! That's so sweet of you to say, thank you so much🥰💕 This really fit as continuation for sick feverish Hector after his appendicitis operation, so here you go ����

Appendicitis Aftermath

Arnie was biting his nails. Isaiah was seriously considering if he shouldn't point it out, because it was climbing up his fried nerves.

Arnie sat in the backseat, without a seat belt so he could hover in the middle between Isaiah behind the wheel and Hector.

One would say Isaiah would be used to being called to a crisis with his brothers in the middle of the night by now. However, it didn't get easier with practice.

Arnie was nearly in tears, mumbling about Hector, an operation, and an unruly shadow, which sent Isaiah into a panic. Turned rather anticlimactic when he arrived at the hospital.

Hector had appendicitis. The operation was routine, small, nothing serious. They caught it on time. Except the shadow was a problem. Isaiah was all ready to roll it down for his brother, when the medics came with the idea they could just drug him up with heavy stuff.

Hector was a wolf, meaning he couldn't heal an inflammation, infection, or sickness, but if they took the appendix out, his shadow would be able to heal the wound afterward. He didn't have to stay in the hospital; they even allowed them to take him home.

They needed only to wait for his shadow to recover.

Until then, Hector was stitched up and with bandages over the wound, hurting like any mortal would.

Another quiet crack as Arnie bit into the nail on his forefinger, fidgeting on Isaiah's right.

Hector was pale, holding himself rigidly in the seat. His eyes were closed, but he took those carefully measured breaths that told Isaiah he wasn't asleep.

The car jostled over a bump and Hector hissed quietly, jerking his head.

"Sorry about that. Almost home, buddy," Isaiah said, planting his hand on Hector's leg for a second to reassure him. Hector said nothing, curling onto himself.

"You'll be fine—humans undergo these operations every day and recover well." Arnie leaned in closer, a ball of nervous energy. Surprisingly so, since he slept even less than Isaiah, calling the ambulance at 3 in the morning.

Isaiah understood Arnie was trying to play the situation down, appealing to Hector's pride so he wouldn't let the pain get to him so much, but he didn't think it was currently helping.

Hector was simply in pain—one that wasn't leaving, wasn't getting better, and wouldn't be healed by his shadow for the next 12 hours at the least. This was not a good forecast for a wolf not used to endure pain, but there was no way to play it down.

Isaiah didn't have it in him to admonish Arnie though. His two younger brothers knew each other better than he knew them, he didn't dare. He understood Arnie was stressed out about it - he was even acutely aware of the fact.

One of the reasons why he found sharing his pain, sickness or weakness absolutely unacceptable with his brothers. He would not put Arnie through such an experience if he could help it. He never did, actually.

But he had failed in front of Hector one or two times about that, so he understood that too. Besides, it would probably be healthier to admit it, if they knew how to handle it right.

"Shit," Hector grunted, pressing his forehead against the window, hands gingerly around his stomach, just above the wound. "Stupid fucking medics, taking my shadow away."

"They couldn't work around it," Arnie said defensively, feeling involved in the decision since Hector was unconscious at the time. "It would be like the scene from Spiderman 2. The tentacles of Doc Oc killing everyone. Besides, the meds will wear off quicker than if it got rolled down."

"So glad you got it all planned out," Hector snapped, face white and strained. "Helps a shitton-"

"Alright," Isaiah interjected. "That's enough. Arnie is just trying to help," Isaiah said, giving the youngest a pointed look to just shut up. "Hex, anything we can do for you right now?"

"What would you want to do?!" Hector protested, growl in his voice. "Just want to go freaking home. What are you so slow for?"

Isaiah decided not to mention he was driving slowly because of Hector, to avoid the jostling as much as possible.

"Fucking grandma drives faster," Hector continued under his breath, but his eyes were open and more alert now as he watched the streets glide by the window.

Isaiah was relieved to finally reach Hector's apartment, though he took a deep breath to brace himself for the next part.

Hector put his hands on his knees experimentally, breaths coming in faster. He was scared of the walk.

"Arnie, go in first and open up for us, would you?" Isaiah suggested, for all their sakes. He didn't think struggling in front of Arnie made it any easier, nor was Arnie taking it very well.

Arnie dangled the keys in his hands and hurried out of the car. It swung left and right at the impact of the door slamming shut. Hector moaned quietly, hanging his head over his legs.

Isaiah opened and closed his doors gently, circling around slowly to let Hector prepare for it.

He opened the door and put a hand on Hector's nape. Sweat was clinging to his skin, and he felt warm and feverish.

"It won't be so bad. I'll help you," Isaiah said gently, rubbing his finger up and down on Hector's nape.

Hector straightened up, twitched at the movement, slowly swinging one leg out of the car. "Just-" he gulped, "just give me a minute?"

"Whenever you are ready. Take your time."

Hector closed his eyes for three more long breaths, then opened up with more fight in his eyes. "Okay."

Isaiah hugged him from the side so he could brace Hector's weight against him and pulled him up slowly. He aimed not to have Hector tense any of his stomach muscles to get upright.

Hector wrapped his arm around Isaiah’s neck, taking a fistful of his coat in his hand. He took a shaky breath but didn't protest being pulled up.

Isaiah took two steps to the side to close the door behind them and lock the car up. He wrapped his arm properly around Hector's middle, gripping it at his healthy side, half of his brother's weight on him. "Five minutes and you can lay down," he promised.

They made their way to the elevator, where Hector closed his eyes, slumping even more against Isaiah. "...how many more hours?"

"If we start counting from the moment the IV was removed and take 12 hours as the goal - around 10 hours and 40 minutes to go."

Hector pressed his lips together, murmuring something. "Keep the count for me?" he asked in a low voice, as if he were trying to find a nicer way to say it.

Isaiah readjusted his grip on him as the elevator arrived. "Of course."

Arnie left the door open for them. Isaiah didn't bother with the shoes and coats, dragging Hector to his room.

"Slowly now," he said as he helped him lower himself onto the bed. Getting down was as much of a challenge as getting up.

Hector let out a little groan as he sat down, white as a sheet from the short walk. He hunched over himself but didn't lie down immediately, letting Isaiah undo his shoes.

"It's best if you just sleep through it," Isaiah said, gently helping Hector lay down against the pillows. He pushed the covers on top. It was a corner bed, so the wall was right next to them to lean on, and there was a TV hanging from the opposite wall.

Hector squirmed under the covers, face one big grimace. "Don't think I can sleep."

"Then let's find some low-energy distractions," Isaiah said. He got rid of his shoes and coat and climbed into the bed beside Hector. "Old movie or new? Something you like and could focus on what be good."

Hector's eyebrows knitted together in puzzlement at Isaiah, but he didn't comment on him inviting himself over.

Hector shifted around with his shoulders, comically lost in the covers. "Zaya? Could I- could you just get me something for this?" He pressed the words through his teeth.

"You are still on the meds from the hospital, there really isn't anything stronger here."

"Yeah, well that sucks," Hector said with a shudder. His hands pushed at the covers, digging into them with his fingers.

"We could try some ice on the wound. And maybe you could drink something?" Isaiah didn't like the sweat on Hector's forehead or the heat radiating from him even just sitting this close.

The doors creaked when Arnie stuck his head in. Isaiah quietly asked him what items to bring and added a thermometer for good measure.

"Is there no trick to this?" Hector said in a strangled voice, looking longingly at Isaiah's human-shaped shadow neatly tucked at the end of the bed without any light to explain the angle.

"Try calling for it as much as possible," Isaiah suggested. "I'm not experienced with drugs and medication, but the more you call it, the faster it tries to get back."

Hector curled up on his side, arms wrapped around his chest like he was cold. His forehead creased in concentration before he gasped for a breath, twisting in the pillows. "Doesn't work. I can't even...it's like reaching for something under the sofa. I know it's there, but I can't touch it." There was a hint of a whine in that sentence.

"Shhhhhhh. Then just let it be for a bit." The worst they could do was to get Hector upset. Isaiah put his hand on Hector's shoulder, almost by the neck, holding him steady as he took deep, ragged breaths.

Arnie tiptoed inside, bringing the ice wrapped in a kitchen towel, a glass of water and a thermometer. His fingertips were all chewed and bloody.

Isaiah sighed and whispered: "Go disinfect that and take a nap. I've got him." With Hector's shadow absent, he couldn't hear them.

Arnie looked at Isaiah with a glassy, scared look as if he weren't sure he really wanted to do this alone. Finally, he nodded. "Call me if you need something."

Hector shuffled under the covers so Isaiah could put the wrapped-up ice on top of the bandages. Hector winced at the contact before leaning back again. "Is he pissed off or something?"

"He is fine. Tired and worried," Isaiah said, sitting down properly against the wall. He turned on the TV, clicking between the channels until he found some kind of Tom Cruise action movie. "Are you sure you don't have a preference?"

"I don't have a list of favorites on the ready," Hector complained. "How the hell do you have time for that?"

Isaiah shrugged. "Movie night on Wednesdays, usually some kind of cinema or movie with Seline during the week and free weekend afternoons."

"What, Seline gives you breaks on the weekends?"

"Kinda. She is always out visiting her parents."

Hector gave him a look. "What? Why?"

"There are apparently parents worth visiting."

Hector frowned, silent for a long minute. Isaiah winced internally. Parents weren't a good topic by a stretch. Not since the whole reveal drama.

Hector rolled his head to look at the TV absently, though now he looked more dazed than focused. Isaiah hoped that was a sign he really would nod off to sleep. There were still 10 hours left.

"It's too freaking warm in here," Hector complained out of a sudden, scrambling up on shaky hands.

"What do you think you are doing?" Isaiah pushed him back, getting out of bed nimbly to open the window. "I'll do it. Just stay put."

Hector lifted himself up on the pillows a little, face scrunching up. "I don't feel well."

Isaiah got back onto the bed. "I know. It will just be a bit longer."

"No, like for real. I don't-" he hiccuped, pressing a hand to his lips. "I feel sick." He looked at Isaiah with wide eyes. "I don't want to throw up. It's hurting like a bitch as it is, Zaya, please-"

"Okay, okay, I got you." Isaiah had no idea what he was doing, but the pleading had his ribcage squeezing like he couldn't get in any air. He helped Hector to sit a bit more upright, leaning him against his side, his own arms wrapped around Hector's chest to hold him up. "Take deep breaths. There is fresh air coming from the window and you got nothing to throw up anyway. Just breathe."

"Make it stop," Hector sobbed, pressing his hands against Isaiah's on his chest. "It hurts."

"I know, buddy, I know. Shhhh. I'm right here." Isaiah held him as tight as he dared. Hector's head, now pressed against his neck, radiated heat like a furnace. No wonder he was so whiny.

"You wouldn't have a problem with something like this," Hector whimpered, a shiver running through him. "You would be fine. Even Arnie would be fine, it's just me-"

"Oh, shut it," Isaiah said sternly. "You are plenty resilient. You train day and night, you think I can't see it? It's like you are made of steel. That's not something you get from a shadow or because you are a wolf. And training is basically pain and learning to accept and like pain, and you got that."

"Then tell me how to do it," Hector demanded, swallowing heavily.

"I told you. Sleep, being comfy, movies, distraction-"

"Yeah, sure, cause that's how you do it. With your training and experience-"

"And you think that's an advantage?" Isaiah blurted out. "After all this time? I got pretty nasty things out of that torture crap too, just so you know. I did it so you wouldn't have to and now you are jealous of it? Jesus fucking Christ."

Maybe that was not the right thing to say at such a time, cause Hector was crying now, big fat tears streaming down his face. "Sorry, I'm sorry..." he hiccuped and then gagged.

Isaiah leaned forward along with him, holding his shoulders from behind as Hector heaved emptily over the sheets and the bed, shuddering with the pain, hands at his side.

"Shhhhhh. It's okay. Take deep breaths now. You are alright," Isaiah repeated over and over.

There was truly nothing for Hector to bring up, so Isaiah leaned back again, pulling Hector after him against his chest again. Thumbing the tears on his cheeks away with his hands, Isaiah's insides shook as if he were the one heaving.

"I'm sorry," Hector whimpered after a while with a sniffle. "I'm really sorry."

Isaiah stared at the ceiling tiredly. "I forgive you." He wrapped his hands snuggly around his brother. "Just don't say shit like that again."

They stayed in heavy silence for a while, Isaiah counting Hector's harsh breaths until they came more rhythmically.

"Tell me something that helps you," Hector said quietly. "Something that matters to you. Something real."

"That will help distract you? Really?" Isaiah said dryly. His chest was hurting at the conversation, at seeing Hector this weak and pained, at the issue being brought up at all.

Hector coiled up into a ball against him, which was the weirdest position since he wasn't a small man in the slightest.

"It helps to imagine it like a circle," Isaiah said into the silence. "A circle around where it hurts, like the pain gets trapped there. Like it can't get further and I can chase it out by cutting it off oxygen, attention, blood stream."

Hector made a little noise at the back of his throat, the side of his face pressing into Isaiah's chest. Over his heart.

"It helps not to be alone. I had to be for a long time, but now I don't and...and it helps, I think."

Hector closed his eyes, nodding against him.

"And the last thing...I don't know if it will work for you..."

Hector tensed against him with a little groan of pain.

"I really do like the movies," Isaiah said.

Hector waited in shocked silence at the words before giving a hoarse little chuckle, snuggling closer. "You are such an ass."

"If you don't pick, I will," Isaiah said, a tentative smile playing on his lips. 

[lynnbecks-mainblog]

Since I'm (probably) near the end of the new Saints Row, I can safely say that I love it and personally would put it as either second or joint-first on my personal SR ranking, and it's the best game I've played this year at time of writing. But because nuance, I'll be going into more detail below.

(spoiler warning for all but one of the missions prior to The After-Party).

I found the new named Saints far less annoying than I thought I would, and personally I would die for Eli.

Speaking of Eli, the LARP storyline is really fun, and it's personally my favourite part so far, especially the fact that the other Saints get roped in, leading up to the massive battle against Gwen. Also, the bit at the end when the Boss does all the silly poses while shooting the king was really funny, especially the aftermath where the petrol station clerk awkwardly asks the Boss to order something and they respond in-character.

I honestly think Sergio's death was kinda anticlimactic, like you're told you will fight him and you get ready for a huge fight that just... doesn't happen, and he just gets anticlimactically killed off in a cutscene; the Boss isn't even the one who does it! It doesn't help that I also think Los Panteros are the least-interesting of the three gangs (or two gangs and one megacorporation), just being the Brotherhood but orange and aztec-themed.

For the moral choice in the AI tank level, I chose to fire Marshall. I'll probably shoot him on my next playthrough.

The mission where you have to steal the sculptures was really difficult and I had to get my brother - who is better at driving games than me - to do it.

The city is amazing, and honestly it's my favourite sandbox in the entire series. I love all the fake brands, I love the armadillo sculpture-trail, and I love the fact that there are proper strip-malls in a Saints Row game (mainly because strip-malls are an injoke between me and my brother).

The Boss might be canonically non-binary in the new timeline, which is very cool.

I am very dissapointed that - as far as I can tell - importing a Boss made in the Boss Factory doesn't carry over the outfit, only the character (although it did give me the opportunity to fiddle around with my Boss's fashion).

The existence of a Saints of Rage arcade machine in (at least) one part of the map, as well as an associated T-shirt, implies that Johnny exists as a fictional character in the new timeline.

Oh! Speaking of references to stuff that doesn't exist in the new timeline, the in-game Volition shop sells an Agents of Mayhem shirt, which I'm fairly sure is the first time I've seen someone acknowledge that game since it came out (not counting me buying it and playing some of it a year or two ago).

It is ridiculously easy to become OP.

It took me ages to realise that the MDI building is boot-shaped.

THEY DIDN'T DEPICT REPLACING THE CEO OF MDI AS A WHOLLY GOOD THING! THEY ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGE THAT WHAT'S-HER-FACE ISN'T WILLING TO FULLY TRUST THE SAINTS JUST BECAUSE THEY HELPED HER BECOME CEO, AND THAT SHE PRIORITISES THE COMPANY OVER THESE FOUR RANDOM ZOOMERS!

I like how the Boot Hill mission is literally just Super-Ethical but less frustrating and with a better announcer.

The Cutting Edge materials are really disappointing. I was expecting them to work like normal colours but with a different visual effect, but they colour the entire thing you apply them to, so applying them to clothes looks really tacky.

I want a Collective helmet in real life.

The Hidden History stuff is really fun and I like that they're actually putting effort in to establish a consistent timeline, unlike the original one which was an absolute mess. Also the glove-guns are OP as hell, especially when you unlock the special attack for them.

I have more thoughts, but I can't really think of any right now, so I'll add them as an addendum when I've finished the final mission (and also the other one I have to do first).

[nellie-elizabeth]

The Legend of Vox Machina: The Darkness Within (1x12)

Amazing! I can't believe how happy I am with this whole season, it's just caused me so much joy from beginning to end. I can always find flaws in any thing I watch, and I'll talk about those briefly, but wow. I'm happy. I'm so happy.

Cons:

But let's start with a couple of things I wasn't totally sold on, although I wouldn't call them huge problems or anything...

The resolution of the cliffhanger with Keyleth didn't quite land for me, and it was mostly a minor pacing issue. We end the episode with "holy shit Keyleth is going to DIE," but this final episode isn't about that at all... We have a drawn out period of time where we are struggling to bring Keyleth back, but to me it lacked tension because when Keyleth did wake up, it was like "oh hey, we don't have time to deal with this" since Percy and Orthax were now the obvious focus. If I had been the one writing the scene, I would have replaced the weeping and the long pause before Vax realizes he can try the herb and dirt thing, and instead have it be more frantic, like, "oh shit, no more potions, quick, grab the dirt!" keep the momentum, make it more of a triage scene than a true resurrection-type scene. I get that they wanted the stakes to feel very serious, but it didn't quite gel the way I wanted it to in the aftermath. In short, while I loved the decision to make Keyleth the one in peril in the last episode, I'm not sure the resolution to that plot beat landed in the context of this episode.

And for a much smaller pacing issue, this was such a small moment and I only want to comment on it because the show has been so good at pacing character beat moments all along, so when there's a slight misstep it stands out. After Scanlan throws Percy's gun into the acid and we see the bubbling Orthax goop, there needed to be an extra beat of silence before "well I'll be damned" and then another extra beat before "thank you, Scanlan." It happened so quickly, I wanted more space for the incredulity to build. Like I said, this is tiny, but it stood out to me as a moment that wasn't paced entirely right.

And then for the "big" one, and by big I just mean comparatively, this is the most negative thing I have to say about the episode... I mentioned in an earlier installment that the pacing was my biggest concern for this season as a whole. These are short episodes and there's a lot of story to tell. They managed to build in a lot of character beats among the action and chaos, but these past few episodes especially have had very little in the way of breathing time. And that makes sense, I don't need breathing time when everything is action-action-action, go-go-go. But the consequence of that is... well...

In the aftermath of what happens at the Ziggurat, we see that Whitestone is trying to recover from the rebellion and zombie horde attack. The Briarwoods are defeated, as are all their henchmen. What happens next? Well, Percy decides that he isn't fit to lead, it should be Cassandra, and then he immediately fucks off with the rest of Vox Machina to Emon, since they need to tell the sovereign and the council what happened with the Briarwoods and all that noise. This... feels cheap and anticlimactic to me in the show, in a way that it didn't in the original version. See, there, they hung around in Whitestone for a while, they had a festival, we had conversations with Percy and Keeper Yennen. The reason Percy leaves with Vox Machina in the story is because it's a D&D campaign and Taliesin wasn't leaving the game. The reason Percy leaves here is... not well founded. I get that he feels like he needs to work on himself and can't be a leader, but that's not actually a reason he needs to leave town literally hours after defeating the great evil.

And this is a consequence of pacing - if we could have had some sort of montage showing that a couple weeks had passed with Percy and the whole of Vox Machina staying in Whitestone and helping Cassandra establish herself on the throne, helping the people to clean up and grieve after what they'd lost... hell, a scene where we see a monument, where Percy has a moment to grieve and say goodbye to his family and to Archie and all the people of his community who died, since he was forced to flee and never got to honor them at home... I just felt I was missing that final emotional resonance that we could have gotten with honestly just five more minutes of screen-time here in the finale.

I understand why they rushed everyone back to Emon. I knew exactly how they'd end season one of this show, a lot of people guessed it and they were correct, and I get wanting to end on a bad-ass shocking cliffhanger that gets people hooked in for what's next. But it did rob something from the epilogue of Whitestone specifically. I hope that we get to return there, maybe repurpose some plot beats from the next arc and set them in Whitestone so we get that chance to have Percy check in with the home he thought he'd lost forever.

But anyway! Enough of my complaining!

Pros:

While I stand by what I said about Keyleth's near-death being imperfectly executed, I do want to say that I loved the character work and the acting here. Vax's utter despair, Vex's disbelief and grief... and Percy's coldhearted focus on his revenge even as his friend lies dying. I like that Scanlan gets to be the smart one to figure out about the orb causing an anti-magic field. It mimics the fact that Sam is often the first one to cotton on to a clever mechanical aspect of the gameplay at the table, since he's got quite the strategic mind for this kind of thing. You've also got the tenderness of Grog taking Keyleth from Vax and carrying her, that little moment of solidarity between the two men... so tender!

But the bulk of this episode is focused on Percy vs. Orthax, and it is one epic showdown. I don't really know where to start in praising this aspect of the episode, and to be honest these reviews have gotten a little out of hand with their length so I'm going to try to restrain myself, but I probably won't succeed.

Percy goes insane at Delilah, doesn't kill her quickly, instead saying: "I'll shatter your ankles for my sister Vesper. your hands belong to Julius..." oof. Chilling. He breaks out into Percy's maniacal laughter, and when Vex says "something has possession of you," he and Orthax answer together: "and we are better for it." I just love how Percy has been doing this shit all season and yet the extremity still kind of catches you off guard, the degree to which he's gone off the deep end...

And let's just talk about the moment with Vex, because... fuck, I'm so happy with it. I knew they wouldn't let us down, I knew they must have moved this moment to a more pivotal place. First, you get Vax's panicked yell: "Vex'ahila, what are you doing?!" as Vex stands between Percy and Delilah, the object of his vengeful hatred. And then she says the thing. "Darling, take off the mask." The reveal of Percy's face under the mask, just full on sobbing, is exactly what I expected it to be and yet it still hit so fucking hard. Because this is the thing, right? The mask is so creepy, but what is it hiding? Not just the glowing eyes of Orthax, but the real anguish Percy has been feeling all along. Percy tries so hard to stop Orthax from controlling him, ends up pointing the gun under his own chin, but Orthax takes control before he can end it...

Everything about Orthax and Percy's fight is gorgeous. The animation, the voice acting (Matt does an amazing job as Orthax, holy shit!), and the whole psychological journey of seeing Percy's past and his present collide. This works for me on so many different levels. You have the flashes of his family being killed, and then said family insisting he avenge them, you have Percy trying to kill his tormentors again, but actually aiming at his friends... and then meanwhile Vox Machina is darting around trying to avoid him, Scanlan is dragging Delilah around like a ragdoll trying to avoid Percy's shots, the names of his friends are appearing on the barrels of Percy's gun... the intensity just won't stop!

I like that we're doing the possession trope too, this idea of "only he can stop it," and the power of love breaking through. Vex gets a moment where she manages to penetrate the fog, and Cass makes her speech to convince him. The reason this all works for me is that we learn that in some ways Percy asked for this. Not in the way where it's his fault, of course, but in the sense that he wanted vengeance, he wanted to kill those who had wronged him, and he let himself live in denial about Orthax and the darkness consuming him all this time, in order to achieve his goal. It's not some straightforward thing where Percy has been controlled this whole time so actually none of his behavior is his own fault. It's a series of escalations, a series of decisions that culminated in this moment where Orthax is trying to take all his choice away.

And then Cass is there, she says "I'm here for you", and Vox Machina is there, and Vex says "we all are", and my heart skipped a beat, I was so happy!

I like that the way of subverting Orthax was deceptively simple and yet still enormously thematically relevant. Percy shoots his own hand instead of shooting Cass, thus paralleling shooting Desmond's hand all the way back in episode three.

And then there's the silence in the aftermath. There's Cass asking for assurances that it's really Percy, and Percy saying: "I'm afraid so. Well, most of me anyway." There's Vex's declaration: "So... that was the most fucked up thing I've ever seen, and I hang out with Scanlan."

But of course, there's still Delilah to deal with. Her grief in the aftermath of Sylas's death, and her failure to resurrect the Whispered One, were excellently portrayed. I like how she basically goads Percy to kill her earlier on, and then after Percy defeats Orthax, she mocks his failure to finish the job.

And then Cass gets the kill. It's perfect, it's bloody and brutal, and the line delivery on: "I'm glad you forgave her brother, but I could not" was honestly so perfect it gave me chills.

And then we're in the epilogue, basically, and the setup for the cliffhanger.

Taliesin's voice acting in the aftermath of Orthax's defeat is so perfect. He sounds different, like the Percy we got to see briefly back in the earlier episodes, but even lighter, even more free. It's only with the contrast that you realize how gradually and how entirely he has been consumed by the darkness. It's a brilliant performance from Taliesin Jaffe, I just can't say enough about what a good job he did with all of this.

And of course next let's talk about Vax and Keyleth! We got to see Vax's sincere grief and even a kiss on the hand when he thought he'd lost Keyleth, and then they spend the rest of the episode just a little too busy for a conversation... it's cute that Vax is holding Keyleth up, though, that she knows she can lean on him.

And then the final conversation between them out by the Sun Tree. It's obviously a lot shorter than the full conversation that played out at the table, but it amounts to something similar. Vax tries to reopen the conversation and say he meant what he said, and Keyleth shuts him down with a soft no. She doesn't say "I don't feel the same", but rather "we can't", because of responsibilities... honestly the reason why I love their relationship so much is that it does start with this rejection that is pretty clearly "I don't think I'm in a place for this right now" and not "it's impossible, I don't see you that way." It's a distinction that matters because of where the story is going, but Vax is going to respect her rejection and be her friend anyway, and I am honestly feeling very tender about it. Of course, Vax saying "I'm gonna walk away" was a lovely little comedy beat and a fun reference for all of us Critters out there who saw Campaign One.

To be honest and I don't want to be negative here but I've seen people saying some completely unfounded stuff about the Vaxleth content, and I don't agree with them at all. I think the people who are disappointed with Keyleth and Vax in this episode aren't paying attention, or something. I keep seeing people say "it was played for laughs" which is... absolutely not accurate to what literally is happening on screen? What are you even talking about? Just because a moment has some levity to it, or there's a laugh in there somewhere, doesn't mean an entire scene is being played for laughs, written off as nothing more than a joke. I even saw someone say that the Vaxleth dynamic was completely different from the stream, and that's not even remotely true. This is exactly what the dynamic was in the stream, they just haven't kissed yet. Calm down.

Sorry, I just really can't stand it that people are seemingly looking for reasons to be unhappy? The campaign is the campaign, and the show is the show. They are going to be different, but to look at what we saw with these characters, their relationship dynamic and think it was disrespectful and diminishing... I could not disagree more, as a huge Vaxleth shipper. To me those responses reek of entitlement. If you don't like what you saw, that's fine, but to act like you deserved something different betrays a lack of understanding in so many things. This show was made with love, and the obvious respect and attention given to Keyleth and Vax and their relationship is plain to those of us who aren't determined to be negative. I get steamed about this because the people who don't like something and are cool about it, that's awesome and great. I've listed my complaints in these reviews, the things that didn't line up for whatever reason. But I don't turn around and say "how dare they not give me the version I wanted." I've seen people go so far as to imply that people who disagree with them are watching the show "wrong" in some way. I've seen people doing that, and it grates on my nerves like nothing else. Okay, sorry, end of soap box.

This epilogue also has adorable Vex and Keyleth moments, like Vex calling her "Kiki" as they're being hailed as heroes, and then Vex encouraging her: "darling, you've got this" as Keyleth prepares to cast her spell to take them through the Sun Tree. Keyleth blushes, it's super adorable, and of course I love Vaxleth but honestly Kiki has got such a crush on Vex and we love to see it.

While I wanted more of Percy coming to terms with his home being rescued, I still did like the brief resolution we did see, with him leaving Cass to rule. He gets to say another classic Taliesin line, slightly altered and taking place at a very different point in the story: "we live as long as Whitestone lives." I loved that the line was in there, it was such a lovely tribute to the campaign but also a lovely setup for an imagined future prosperity for Whitestone, depending on how much of that future we actually get to see.

And then we're back at the keep in Emon! Percy is tinkering with a new gun, which I think might surprise some viewers but it's part of what makes Percy the deeply complicated character that he is. He knew what he was unleashing on the world when he invented guns, and he did it anyway in his quest for vengeance. He can't put that back into a box, and so instead he'll keep refining, and keep using the weapon he created when he was lost in darkness. Also, his hand gem thing thing is so cool! I bet I know where they're going with this based on a certain glove Percy has in the campaign, and I think that's such a fun way of showing a lasting consequence from what happened in Whitestone.

We also get an all-too-brief flash of domestic bliss at the keep, with Grog trying to do some repairs and dropping a door on his foot, Pike doing some healing and also some reading of a certain romance novel previously glimpsed at Gilmore's, we see Vex and Vax hanging out with Trinket, the best member of Vox Machina finally returned. While I think the pacing issues are a bit of a thing here, in that I would have wanted a bit more time to relax in this space before the end, I was still quite pleased with what we did see!

And then we're at the Cloud Top District. Sovereign Uriel Tal'Dorei is making a speech - he's stepping down as sovereign and handing rule over to the whole of the Tal'Dorei Council! What a shocking twist for the end of the season, right?

Oh yeah, and four massive dragons are flying towards the city. That's also a thing that happens.

I've got to say, I love me a good cliffhanger, and this one was so much fun because us in the know were all waiting for this exact ending! They teased us with not a whole lot in terms of character design for the Chroma Conclave, but what we saw has me super hyped for what comes next.

God, what else is there even to say about this show at this point? I'm already excited to do a full re-watch, and I know I'll be delightfully revisiting these twelve episodes for as long as I have to wait until season two comes along and gives me more to obsess over! I'm so happy that this show was made with such obvious care and love and attention to all the characters we already adore. You can tell this is a labor of love and even the times when I didn't agree with a choice or felt a joke fell flat, I could still sense the passion and effort behind every frame. It's all more than I ever could have hoped for.

High points of the season for me were probably episodes three, eight, and eleven, but honestly the whole season is a roiling adventure and a heart-stopping joy to behold. The finale gets...

9/10

[wanderinginksplot]

Platonic fluff, I and anyone from the bad batch?

Thank you so much for making this request! This is the ask that made me realize that I haven’t really written for anyone except Tech and Wrecker. I took the chance to throw some Hunter in here. It is platonic, but it fought to turn into something romantic-leaning, so a few parts might read a little oddly. I hope you enjoy, and thanks again!

Hunter + Platonic Fluff

The door to the Havoc Marauder slammed closed behind you, leaving you and the rest of the Bad Batch sitting in the darkness for a stunned half-second before the chaos started again.

"Tech, get us out of here," Hunter ordered sharply. "Cross and Echo, get to the guns. Wrecker, you and I are going to patch that hole in your arm."

"Aww, Sarge…" Wrecker complained loudly.

Hunter turned back toward you as though he had forgotten about you for a moment. He probably had, honestly. This was the first mission you had ever been on with Clone Force 99 and, so far, you had just felt like you were in the way.

"And you can go see if Tech needs any help piloting," Hunter told you.

You saluted quickly and made your way up to the front of the ship. You were feeling a little unsteady, and not just because of Tech's wild flying.

When you stepped into the cockpit, Tech whipped around. "What is it? Has something else happened?"

"No, everything is fine," you assured, grimacing as a near-miss explosion rocked the gunship. "As fine as ever, anyway. Hunter just told me to see if you needed any help."

"I am fine," Tech said, swiveling back around to watch where he was piloting the ship. 

Well. You sat down in the copilot's seat anyway, faced with a lack of other things to do. You stared out through the transparisteel pane that separated you and Tech from the explosions you were trying to avoid. 

"I don't need help here," Tech repeated. "You can help out other places."

"O-okay," you stammered, not really sure where to go. You were still flustered from the stress of combat, and embarrassed about it considering how well everyone else seemed to be handling the aftermath. 

You left the cockpit anyway, passing the bunks where Wrecker and Hunter were treating Wrecker's injured arm. You walked past the gun turrets that roared with firing blasters, interspersed with the sound of jokes, bets, and insults called back and forth between Echo and Crosshair.

You kept going further and further back in the Marauder, your heart pounding way too hard considering that the ship-rocking explosions were fading away rapidly. Eventually, you found a promising spot and sat down to concentrate on settling your scattered thoughts.

��You’re fine,” you reminded yourself, speaking aloud to help soothe your frazzled nerves. “You’re absolutely fine. Not a scratch. Nothing to worry about, no need to be worried. Just breathe.”

Thinking about breathing made you think about the Jedi and their meditation. Maybe that would help a little? You were safe, stowed in a remote corner of the Havoc Marauder. Taking a moment to close your eyes, think about nothing, and breathe sounded fantastic.

Obligingly, you let your eyes close and took a shaking breath, but it turned to a gasp as scenes from the battlefield flashed behind your closed eyelids. You opened your eyes again and buried your face in your hands, trying to feel soothed by the sound of the engines working beneath the floor where you sat.

“Everything okay back here?” a familiar voice called.

“Yea-” your traitorous voice cracked badly as you responded, and you took a moment to clear your throat before trying again. “Yeah, everything is fine.”

Obviously, Hunter hadn’t believed you, and he rounded the corner a moment later. 

“Why are you sitting there?” he asked, struggling toward you with his broad shoulders brushing both sides of the narrow hallway.

Technically speaking, you were in a maintenance duct. Or, at least, very close to one. The narrow hallway was meant to be used by a specialized droid, and the small hatch under your butt would lift so that the droid could access the engines while the ship was actively in flight. Humans were meant to reach the engines by going under the ship when it was stationary, and the duct hadn’t really been built to hold a living being - especially one Hunter’s size.

You weren’t really sure why you had chosen to sit there, other than that it was warm and a little dim and nothing could come up from behind you. It had seemed like a good spot at the time, but now you felt guilty as you watched Hunter try to get down the hallway.

Realizing he was still expecting an answer, you forced a careless shrug. “Tech didn’t need any help flying, so I came back here and decided to explore. Just wanted to sit for a second.”

Hunter looked skeptical, and you almost laughed at how well the expression came through even on the tattooed half of his face. He came to a stop in the hallway, tried to cross his arms, and caught them on the walls.

You took pity on him. “It opens up a little further down here. You’ll at least have some room to move around.”

After he made it to the small round room you were sitting in, Hunter sat gingerly on the floor beside you. Your eyebrows raised in surprise. The sergeant was a busy man, and being the commanding officer of the Bad Batch meant he didn’t have time for things like looking for a missing member of the crew, much less spending time with them in an awkward maintenance duct. Plus, post-combat was prime time to file reports. 

There were a hundred things he should have been doing, and he was ignoring them to check on you. Even after you had technically disobeyed a direct order. Your stomach sank even further as you realized you had indeed disobeyed an order from the commanding officer of your new team. Was he here to berate you?

He had barely sat down when you shot nervously to your feet. “Well, we should probably get back to the others. I should have cleared it with you before I left Tech. I’m sorry.”

Hunter stared up at you. “Tech? He was fine flying. He didn’t need any help and I wouldn’t expect you to stay there if you weren’t needed.”

“So you aren’t mad at me?” You grimaced and cleared your throat, instantly regretting the childish tone of your question. “I mean, I’m not in trouble for disobeying an order?”

“I asked you to help Tech,” Hunter said slowly. “That wasn’t really an order. You followed all my orders in the field, and that’s where it counts. You’re not in any trouble. Not that I know of, anyway.”

“Oh,” you said stupidly. That was anticlimactic. Still, your heart was pounding so hard that it was starting to hurt and, if you were going to fall to pieces, you wanted to do it away from the sergeant. “Well, I’ve explored this place enough. Am I dismissed?”

Hunter frowned harder, looking past the hand you had extended to help him to his feet. “No, you are not, and you should sit down.”

Nervously, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other. “I think I should get back to work. Lots of stuff to get done, you know?”

Hunter captured your wrist, movements slow and gentle. He bent your arm at the elbow so you could see your fingers violently trembling. “Why don’t you sit back down before you fall down?” he asked, voice kind.

Staring at your own hands, you lowered yourself back to the floor where you had started.

“Want to tell me what’s wrong?” Hunter didn’t look at you when he spoke, staring peacefully down the hallway instead.

“Nothing,” you hedged. “Now that I know I’m not in trouble.”

He smiled a bit at that, still not looking your way, and tapped his ear. “I can hear your heart. It’s thundering through the Marauder. I knew something was wrong from the bunks. If it was about the order you disobeyed, it would have slowed by now. You can talk if you want, but you don’t have to. I’ll be here with you either way.”

You swallowed back the reflexive tears that came up at that. Though, realistically, if Hunter could hear your heartbeat from the other side of the ship, he almost definitely heard the way your breath hitched at the sudden surge of emotion.

With a little laugh you hoped would cover the tight rasp of your voice, you offered, “I really am fine. I’m just… that was… it was a lot, back there. I know you guys are used to situations like that, but I…” You couldn’t think of any way to finish that sentence, so you just shook your head and let the silence hang.

You were so lost in your own thoughts that you didn’t notice Hunter had turned his head to consider you carefully.

“Is this the first time you’ve ever been shot at?” Hunter asked eventually. 

“Yeah,” you admitted. You hadn't even needed to think about it. Your last job, attached to a unit guarding a small planet with a good tactical position, hadn't seen any action for the four months you were stationed with them. "Does that happen to you guys often?"

Hunter sighed, adjusting the red bandana he used to keep his dark hair back from his face. "I won't lie, it happens so often we don't even think about it anymore."

You grimaced. How could they be so nonchalant about combat when any one of those beams could have been the end?

"Can you do this?" Hunter asked bluntly. "Work with us, knowing that what happened today wasn't a fluke? That it was considered a pretty minor skirmish by our standards?"

You couldn't detect any judgment in his tone. Hunter was a good leader, a good man. He wasn't asking as a reflection on you, but a question about what he should do next.

If you said you couldn't handle it, that would be that. He wouldn't judge, but you would be moved to a different unit. No more swapping jokes with Wrecker. No more convoluted trivia with Tech. No more sarcastic barbs traded with Crosshair. No more deep conversations with Echo. And no more awkward but heartwarming encounters with Hunter. All of it would end. You would be reassigned to another unit, probably one that rarely saw combat, and the Bad Batch would get a new officer attachment.

"I can do it," you told him with determination you didn't feel. You laughed humorlessly then, staring down at your hands. "As soon as I stop shaking, anyway."

"Adrenaline," Hunter supplied. "It'll pass."

You pressed your face into your hands again, more as an excuse to hide from Hunter's terribly understanding expression than anything more serious.

"Are you… good?" Hunter asked carefully. "Sometimes, physical contact can help the effects fade."

You peered out at him skeptically. For obvious reasons, Hunter didn't care for physical contact. "Are you offering to give me a hug?"

"Only if you want," Hunter clarified. "Like I said, the shaking will pass on its own in time."

"Actually, that sounds nice," you admitted. Stars, when was the last time you did something as simple as hug someone? 

Hunter was hesitant in moving toward you, slowly opening his arms and resting one behind your shoulder blades. He was being incredibly delicate considering that you had seen him snap the head off of a droid that day. Still, you knew how much this simple contact meant coming from Hunter with his enhanced senses. He was agreeing, among other things, to smell like you for the next few hours. 

You wrapped an arm around his back in return, relaxing into the hug like it was a warm bath on a cold day. Hunter held you in silence, occasionally rubbing his hand up and down your back as you stared down the narrow hallway.

With your head resting on his shoulder, you told him, "Thank you for being so nice to me."

He moved a little, pulling back just enough to frown down at you. "Of course. You're one of us. We take care of each other."

You couldn't think too hard about having been adopted by the group or you would start crying, so you returned to your previous position as the shaking finally began to fade.

“Besides,” Hunter added unexpectedly. “You’ll have to return the favor in a minute. I don’t much like tight spaces and getting out of here will be… unpleasant.”

It was your turn to move so that you could look at him. “You’re claustrophobic? I wouldn’t have expected that. I read your case files and you’ve never shown any reluctance about small spaces.”

“Commando training,” he said distinctly, like it was enough of an explanation on its own. Maybe it was, but he went on. “It makes you uncomfortable about a lot of things you never thought would bother you.”

“Then why walk down a tiny hallway?”

He shrugged, the motion jostling you slightly. “You’re part of my team and you needed help. I couldn’t just leave you here alone.”

You teared up a bit at that, but stood up anyway. “Thanks. Now, let’s get out of here.”

This time, he accepted the hand you stuck out and let you help him to his feet. You ignored his indulgent smile and he ignored the way you sniffled a few times while you both made your way back into the main hold of the Havoc Marauder. 

---

A/N - thanks for reading! You can find more works on my masterlist, or feel free to make a request for something of your own! 

[jaicarbonilla]

Imagine Me by Tahereh Mafi

Goodreads:

The explosive finale to the New York Times and USA Today bestselling Shatter Me series. Juliette Ferrars. Ella Sommers. Which is the truth and which is the lie? Now that Ella knows who Juliette is and what she was created for, things have only become more complicated. As she struggles to understand the past that haunts her and looks to a future more uncertain than ever, the lines between right and wrong—between Ella and Juliette—blur. And with old enemies looming, her destiny may not be her own to control. The day of reckoning for the Reestablishment is coming. But she may not get to choose what side she fights on.

Review : (Contain Spoilers)

*PURELY MY OPINION, AND I UNDERSTAND IF YOURS IS DIFFERENT FROM MINE.

Okay...okay. Let me just clear my head because I have a lot of frustration right now, and it’s a mixture of good and bad frustration, but mostly bad, and I dislike that. Anything beyond this contains spoilers so...

Remember how I said I liked how Kenji was added into the POVs? Yeah... Now I’m just extremely annoyed by the fact that Aaron was completely wiped out of that, and was just left at the epilogue. It took me a few seconds, I literally had to double check while I was looking at the table of contents, and from that I was already disappointed. I got why she had to do it in Defy Me, because we needed that POV to see what was actually going on the rebellion base but now, sweetheart, Aaron is there, why not use him? He is your male main character, why couldn’t you show us his POV, like girl, he is mentally deteriorating by the beginning and it would have been a lot better if we knew what was going on in his head. This is not something you should leave out for a something .5 book, it should have been here, he is your male main character for crying out loud. Not to disregard Kenji, but like if you’re going to add his POV in that length, wouldn’t it have been better to just have his POV as the novella? I mean, yeah, I guess his timing in everything, he was at the right place at the right time, but it shouldn’t have been the whole book!

Second, plot-wise was excruciating to read, I get what she was planning and envisioning but there are just some things you shouldn’t do. It sort of made me think she wanted all of these twists and turns included in all of it that it just seemed so rushed. I mean, the whole thing was okay until Juliette woke up from that thing Emmaline did to her, after that it was so.... meh.

Again, why can’t just Anderson die? Then you got to go through this creepy infatuation of Juliette to Anderson when she turned into this super soldier? Like, man, why? I swear if that crossed the line, especially when he made her kneel in front of him and made her call him master, I would have closed the book and just remember it as a trilogy again. 

Another thing! That whole spectacle of having Aaron and Juliette fight? It was good, it made sense, but damn! The aftermath? The whole I gotta take my shirt off and make you touch me to make you remember me, even though you’re a super soldier right now and you have been ordered by your master, by my father who you have a crush on now, to kill me? You gotta feel my abs babe so you can remember, like WTF? Why? I just... can’t.

I am so pissed off, you can’t even imagine. But still, your girl got to read it till the end. It was freaking anti-climactic, wait, it shouldn’t even be considered anticlimactic at the end actually, the whole book was!

Yeah, kill Emmaline, that was the whole point, you got to kill the source and Juliette has to be the one to do it, check, make the whole Oceania base crumble by your grief, check, but then BAM, it becomes two weeks later and Juliette is getting married, oh! And don’t forget Kenji, he ruined her wedding dress, which was specifically made for her by Alia who has all these time on her hands because essentially they are not at war right? Now what? Oh! She’s popular now, oh! and don’t make Adam not have a moment as well, he got to be okay now with all of them even though he offered his powers to The Reestablishment to use, but it’s the finale, no more reconciliation needed for that.

Happily Ever After, the end. 

Freaking 2 stars. One for the cover and one for the whole beginning part. That’s it. I don’t even know now what to do with this.

Till next time!

[wickedpact]

You can't just drop that "I read Forces Multiplied" bomb on us and not give a ten page written reaction.

[cracks knuckles] if u insist

nicky cant drive hc: destroyed. rip. also i loved how andy and nile stole those sports cars and were being badass and driving off the bridge & meanwhile joe and nicky were just absolutely vibing in the van

'heres the thing about power: people who have it think they deserve it' [shot of police car] i see u greg

5 whole panels being dedicated to booker not being able to unlock his door. booker not even seeing noriko sitting RIGHT THERE in the window at first. incredible

noriko being 24/7 horny was surprising. like wow all of the stuff i saw she did out of context was 100% equally horny in context as it was out of context. love that for her

i didnt think the 'andy + slavery' thing was handled as badly as everyone made it out to be when telling me about it. tho from the way it was talked about i had kind of figured the conflict between andy and nile re: slavery would be really racially charged (esp considering nile is a black american and would obvs have Thoughts on the subject in that regard) but like,, done in a cringey 'a-white-guy-obviously-wrote-it' kind of way? but it wasnt that. i mean. it makes sense that andy would be implicit in slavery through the years

i mean, like she says, is that not what people just did to each other in the aftermath of battles for thousands of years? and i really like how its pointed out that it was what she was raised with (in the beginning when you see her put shackles on that guy after the battle) but she also accepts responsibility for it and acknowledges that it was wrong and not just 'what people did'.

i like how from her expressions you can kind of tell baby andy knew it was off but she sets those feelings aside bc she felt angry. it explains how she felt but didnt make her out to be blameless in it. plus i mean. i dont know, the fact that andy was involved in a lot of morally shady stuff for 7000 years is not that wild for me. if you live that long youre just Going to be involved in some shit, and she didnt even have other immortals with her as positive community influences, she literally just did whatever the fuck she wanted for thousands of years

'i was worshipped as a god once' i mean, yeah no shit she wouldve been involved in some seriously fucked up stuff, gods were fucking scary back in the day

tldr it could use some polish but it wasnt that bad

tho everything people said about moose being boring was unfortunately a little true. sorry king i tried to be interested in you

joe and nicky writing verbal fanfiction about nile and moose was iconic. 'you seeing that?' 'i am definitely seeing that'

it was also extremely funny bc that was like 60% of their contribution to the whole comic, besides kidnapping copley. they came, they wrote some fanfic, they left. kings. at least in tog1 they had an excuse to be useless bc they got kidnapped

joe just found out his old friend who he thought was dead is alive (and also probably wants to murder them) and instead of investigating with andy he stopped to help nile up. champ.

nicky shooting noriko through andy was cool. rip to the concept since it wont happen in tog2

wanna see mr ejiofor deliver this line

on that note imo copley was. weirdly enough, more interesting in fm than in tog1. to me at least. the fact that andy let him live and he was so haunted by what had happened that he came back and sought them out despite knowing they would likely kill him for it bc he wanted to not only make up for what hed done but also to tell them what theyd done for the world was admittedly more interesting than andy just kind of drafting him to the cause and him going 'okie'

i like how nicky was drawn in this one. in opening fire he looks like a blob man but in fm he looks more like a very nice grampa with a very good dye job

'theres no pain like a broken heart' andy 🥺

noriko implying andy's never drowned. .. .idk about that one, she musta drowned sometime

joe and nicky came, they waxed poetic about nile's love life, they waxed poetic about grog, and then they left.

sports bras being a reason humanity is good. i mean..... okay, yeah.

i mean. wild but you cant exactly tell her shes wrong

i liked how noriko telling andy that their purpose is to make people suffer coincides with joe and nicky finding out that they actually did good all those years

joenicky in opening fire: jail for booker jail for booker for 100 years

joenicky when copley tells them he knows where booker is: WE'LL KILL YOU WHERE IS HE

joenicky when copley comes back: if your vibes come off as even remotely rancid we Will destroy you

joenicky 2 minutes later when copley helped them find booker: he made up some ground :)))) <3 lov you j cops

theyre forgiving af

moose: how old are you?? a hundred??? a thousand???

nile [vine voice]: I M 2 7 ?

alright andy you got me there

joe texts like my aunt

i dont know why noriko drowning andy in that car tickled me. Bad And Naughty Andromaches Get Put In The Pear Wiggler To Atone For Their Crimes.

the drowning sequence was cool

copley trying to talk to andy while she was like o_o at him was great

ive hit the picture limit but id seen that panel where nicky goes 'forgive me' as he kills a guy out of context and it was HILARIOUSLY anticlimactic for me to discover that there was literally no context to it. nicky just apologizes to random people he kills. i thought that guy was someone he knew or something. nope its just Some Guy that nicky didnt know from adam

nile's complaint that andy was especially brutal to the guys on the boat... i mean. . , how exactly does one kill a man with an axe and not be brutal about it?

it was funny how noriko kissed andy and the only people who seemed surprised by that were nile and also andy

nicky and joe's complete non-reaction to finding out noriko is alive And Evil Now is endlesly funny. they just left her on that boat and neither cared. i get book and nile not caring but joe and nicky knew her, and they just have 0 input on the subject of what to do with her

pinstripe suit guy!

joe and nicky and booker packing up and leaving with nile

andy blowing up at nile was A Moment tho

i dont know, i get why people didnt like the ending but its. .. . it makes more sense in the comicverse. bc the squad doesnt really. .. interact outside of jobs? i mean, think of the moon landing story in ttt. that was booker and joe and nicky doing a job and andy only showed up a for a couple minutes after it was done. or the brunch in the first issue of opening fire. the squad arent as tight in the comic, and andy often seems to do her own thing outside of work, so andy saying 'i dont want to do work anymore' and the squad being like 'alright bye then' makes more sense in this universe than the movie one

also i feel like greg was Trying to set up a thing where nile becomes the Leader of The Squad after andy dies but like. its not very well done since. . . i mean, nile hasnt spoken to booker since opening fire, (and she only knew him A Day). and shes known joe and nicky all that time, but there isnt really anything that indicates that they have any relationship at all, much less one that's grown. in all the comicverse the only time nile and nicky speak is in FM, and in that scene nicky tells nile about noriko. nile goes from someone who needs to be set aside to have background knowledge explained to her to being the Leader of the group with nothing in between. it kind of... comes out of nowhere.

on the other hand tho... i felt really bad for andy thru the whole thing. well, i always felt bad for andy, but in this one she seemed so miserable, especially since it really felt like none of the others actually.... cared about her. when noriko came back no one asked andy how she was doing (big question ik, but it wouldve showed they cared at least), nobody ever expressed any concern for her, no one even really seemed to want to be around her. in opening fire everyone was more distant than in the movie of course, but there were little moments where she would joke with joe, or nicky would try and comfort her, or stuff like that, but in FM it really felt like they just didnt really care about her. & in opening fire it felt a lot like andy's relationship with nile breathed some new life into her, but in FM it felt like all they did was argue. i get theyre not *as* close in the comics but it really felt like the only person who cared about andy at all was noriko (which was probably also how andy felt) but it just seemed to come out of nowhere. honestly i was reading and i was honestly agreeing with andy that she might just be better off if she did just die. opening fire, on the other hand, never make me feel that way

tho everyone made it sound like when the squad split up it was one of those cursed 'the found family leaves each other at the end of the journey' tropes. but guys i mean,,, this is the second installment out of three. that isnt the End. theyll come back in the third one and Dramatically Reunite to fight some baddies (probably those 'others' noriko mentioned). im guessing yitzhak fits into that too somehow.

anyways it wasnt That Bad but it made me kind of sad and the only Sweet Found Family vibes in it were when they saved booker. also they shouldve beefed up that nilemoose romance, it underwhelmed me. 6.5/10

i also ABSOLUTELY understand all of greg's comments about how you couldnt make FM directly into a movie, he always said that it had no plot and. i get it now. it really didnt have a plot sdfghjkl

[scrapyardboyfriends]

Watched the Christmas episode early since I wouldn’t be able to watch it live...

I have thoughts...but scheduling this to post after the episode so I don’t spoil anyone. 

Mostly, I just thought it was all a bit anticlimactic. 

The whole ash in the sky without actually showing the pub destruction was pretty meaningless unless you already knew what was going to happen. So the idea of the flashback was pretty pointless. 

We also already know that Meena and Manpreet are fine. So unless I get my wish and Faith was wrong about Paddy and Bear going off to Scotland and they were for some reason completely silent upstairs and are mercifully dead now, then...meh. What was even the point? Especially because if happened at the very end of the episode. I don’t know, I feel like if you’re gonna blow up the pub it should be a big thing. There should be people there. There should be tension. There should be aftermath in the episode. But this was just kind of nothing. 

And the lead up to it with Gavin and Al was pretty nonexistent. We saw Gave like three brief times talking about vague investors, Al got beat up and Ellis got...talked to? There just wasn’t enough tension there. Frankly, because I don’t care about Al. But just...meh. 

The less said about the Dingle turkey hunt the better. Save Lydia from Sam! Remember when I loved them together. James Hooten kind of ruined that, but also this whole dumb story that isn’t really a story. I feel like that was supposed to be a heartwarming moment but it was just kind of blah. As bad as the whole Zak and Joanie affair was, at least Zak and Lisa getting back together at Christmas felt like the culmination of something. This was just a random thing after a couple weeks of Dingle code bullshit where everyone changed their minds on what was the right thing like six times. They just don’t know how to tell a damn story. 

The Will and Kim and Bernice stuff falls similarly flat for me. Because the Bernice and Will stuff came out of absolutely nowhere. Kim and Will have never been a believable couple to me either. I mean it’s been slightly better now that they’ve been able to actually touch but still...meh. And now it’s over? I guess? And for what? And now we’ve just kicked everyone out of Home Farm again so it’s just Kim and Gabby and an infant? Sure. I mean I guess Kim announcing it all in her toast was kind of fun but mostly meh because there’s just nothing interesting or long running to back it up. And the worst (best?) of all is that Malone’s body is now supposedly gone so...is that finally over? After lingering on for two years, this story is finally super anticlimactically over? Oh and Harriet has finally quit the church for real I guess? And Billy and Dawn are back together so....just zero purpose to that whole story. 

The Meena and Manpreet stuff wasn’t bad. It was probably the most interesting bit but I can’t help feeling like the Meena story is also going to end anticlimactically. Because it’s leading to just a showdown between Meena and Manpreet and for a story that has involved so many people along the way, I kind of wanted more. I guess we’ll see and hopefully there can be some good aftermath but that remains to be seen. 

The biggest take away I have from this episode is...RIP Robron Wedding Photo! And I’m mad they didn’t give us one last glimpse of it. I hope it’s somehow the only thing to have survived. 

[justusandlove]

Now that this part of the story is done and Vanity are (seemingly) over, I just want to say a few things about this storyline and last night's episodes in particular. This is just my opinion, I want to be clear about that, feel free to disagree 😊 (LONG POST!)

- Vanessa's absence

I always thought they would never go with a cheating plot for Vanity right now because Vanessa's absence would have erased the purpose of cheating storylines: reveal and aftermath for the couple. Emmerdale still decided to go for it and proved me right. The lack of Vanessa's pov is the true failure of this story. Not only it doesn't work without her but the emotional component of this plot was lacking because we never saw the couple's feelings, we never got to explore the aftermath on both sides, we never had a proper confrontation or break up moment post reveal.

Cheating storylines need both characters on screen.

- Weak writing/plot holes/characters being ooc

From a creative pov, this story is extremely forced and far fetched. The whole set up for the kiss with Charity thinking Vanessa had someone else ( only to say Vanessa wouldn't cheat on her two days later) and then thinking they were over makes no sense. The whole thing about the kiss "becoming" an affair makes no sense. Tracy being the one taking the photo requires a lot of suspension of disbelief. Charity not showing an ounce of remorse after kissing Mackenzie is a bit much even considering her state of mind in that moment. The story is imo unnecessarily dramatic and convulted.

- Charity

I'm gonna be honest here. I think there's very little to salvage of Charity's behaviour in this storyline even taking into consideration her personality and her past. I genuinely think Charity wouldn't have cheated on Vanessa but if we have to accept canon then her actions really hurt. It's not the kiss itself for me, it's the fact that she did it when Vanessa was battling cancer, the day after the adoption and didn't show any remorse, didn't have any intention to come clean until she was cornered. And the lying. Ugh, I hate the lying especially after their last break up.

I think Charity needs to learn to be on her own, to find happiness inside herself, in her relationship with the kids, through her personal and professional achievements before being able to be in a solid relationship. She needs to learn that she can live without Vanessa, without depending on anyone. Missing Vanessa is understandable but losing her mind like that, no. Love yourself Charity please 🥺

Having said that, I genuinely think she loves Johnny (and Vanessa obvs) and I hope she will have the chance to co-parent him, she's his mum after all 🥰

- Tracy

Oh Tracy.

First of all, I understand Tracy, i understand what she's going through, she's pregnant, she's about to lose Nate, Frank's dead and Vanessa isn't coming back because of Charity. So I understand her position, she's always been very protective of Vanessa and her relationship with Charity has been a rollercoaster to be fair. Lots of highs but some very bad lows too.

That said, after last night it's more than clear that Tracy played a MASSIVE role in Vanity's split. Her actions, her words, and her opinions have influenced the direction of the story in a very significant way. It's all for plot of course, Vanessa wasn't coming back anyway but like I said before, canon exists and Tracy did her part.

Her words to Charity come from a place of anger for sure but I think there's some truth in what she said. I think Tracy doesn't trust Charity completely (and probably never will) and we've seen her negative reactions before more than once. So I think she's in character but her reaction is obviously exaggerated.

- Noah

He's the person I feel sorry for the most in this story. He was happy, he loved Vanessa, he loved the little family unit they had. It took him quite a while to trust Vanessa because he was scared Charity would mess up and he'd end up losing someone he cared about again. And now, he's back to square one 😭😭😭 I really hope Vanessa will keep in contact with him and Sarah.

- Vanity

I don't know what to say about Vanity. We're in some sort of limbo where they're broken up for good but we didn't get any proper closure which feels weird and anticlimactic. Anyway, Vanity need to explore their issues before getting back together, whenever that will be. It's clear now that they both need to take responsibility for their mistakes and make an effort to do better, otherwise what's the point?

Also enough misery. Emmerdale has basically run Vanity into the ground, they've put them through drama after drama without time to breathe. The audience needs to be reminded of happy Vanity, a couple that was fun, solid, loving, sexy, a couple to root for.

I can't wait for Vanessa's return and I hope the show will give them the slowburn they need and deserve before they get back to us in all their glory 🥰

[thetypedwriter]

Wilder Girls Book Review by Rory Power

Wilder Girls Book Review by Rory Power

I didn’t know this until the end of the book, but apparently Wilder Girls is supposed to be a female version or retelling of Lord of the Flies. 

Now I’ve read the Lord of the Flies probably three times now and there was nothing other than the survival element on an island that makes me think the two novels are even related. 

Wilder Girls by Rory Power is about a group of girls stuck on an island after their boarding school, Raxter Academy, befalls a horrific evolution known as the Tox. 

After killing most of the adults on the island, the Tox continues to contaminate the girls, the wildlife, and the entirety of the environment on the island, making living creatures go feral, violent, and rotting-especially the girls. 

The book adopts an almost in medias res approach-or, known as in the middle of things -where we are not shown any of this happening. 

Instead it has been years since the Tox first took its toll, the survivors are diminishing day by day, the girls remaining are starving, infected by the Tox in some terribly grotesque way, and desperate for a cure. 

I genuinely think I would have liked this novel better if it had taken a Lord of the Flies approach and showed us from the beginning how the Tox descended, the madness and chaos it caused, and then the destructive aftermath that followed. 

But no, instead we are told all of this trauma and are expected to feel bad and sympathetic towards these angry characters whom we haven’t bonded with or seen experience any of these atrocities firsthand, but I’ll get more into that later. 

After taking way too long to introduce you to the island, the Tox disease, and how the girls operate on it, the plot slowly starts to trudge along when arguably the main character, Hetty, is chosen as a Boat Girl in lieu of her best friend and crush, Reese. 

The position of Boat Girl now awards Hetty the opportunity to leave the safety net of the school and its forbidden gates and travel with the other Boat Girls and one of the only adults on the island named Welch in order to receive supplies from the Navy that sends food periodically to the island. 

After her first trip however, Hetty learns that not all is what it seems on the island and that more than one person has secrets they’re keeping.

 Dark and deadly secrets. 

What unfolds is a bewildering tale of Hetty’s best friend Byatt being taken in by the Tox and stolen away, a rescue mission undertaken by Hetty and Reese in order to get her back, the unraveling of the island, snippets of Byatt’s POV as she’s being experimented on in order to find the cure, and a anticlimactic ending that left me bereft of any kind of satisfaction or contentment. 

This book was...trying too hard to be something that nobody asked for. 

A female retelling or re-imagining of Lord of the Flies is an interesting concept and I would be extremely curious to see the social and emotional differences it would have made having an entire female cast versus an entire male cast, but that is not what this book is. 

Other than being on an island and trying to survive, almost every element of the book is different. Lord of the Flies deals with concepts like the loss of innocence, nature versus civilization, and the inherent evil budding within each human being when driven to the extreme. 

You could argue that Wilder Girls has loss of innocence maybe, but the themes stop there. First off, there are adults in this novel and the girls cater to them accordingly. I never once forgot that Hetty, Byatt and Reese were teenagers. They read like teenagers. They act like teenagers. 

A third of the way through Lord of the Flies and you forget entirely that most of the characters are under aged 12 versus the sixteen and seventeen years old of Wilder Girls. 

The survival elements differ as well. In Lord of the Flies they have to learn to cooperate and survive on the island by hunting, gathering, and creating a social hierarchy. 

In Wilder Girls, the hierarchy is already in place with the headmistress of the school and they are given supplies (most of which is destroyed or dumped out by the way). 

I couldn’t actually believe that the book was telling me that these girls survive off a piece of jerky and the battery acid flavor of old soup and still living? And walking? And going to shooting practice?

The actual conditions these girls lived in was preposterous more than it was sad and I spent half the book with my head cocked trying to reason if people could even survive under such circumstances (I don’t think so, not for this long of a time). 

The comparisons just don’t cut it for me. 

To me, this book came across way too much as Rory Power trying to be symbolic, deep, and riveting and instead I was confused, bored, and unsympathetic. 

I cried at the end of Lord of the Flies. 

At the end of Wilder Girls, I flipped the page and was astounded to find that the book had ended. It didn’t even read like an ending. I thought it was just another chapter. 

It was so abortive and feckless that I genuinely thought pages were missing only to discover the acknowledgments part of the book came next, followed by a deleted chapter I didn’t give a crap about, and then discussion questions. 

Now, I don’t know who actually decides if a book gets discussion questions, it could be the publisher, the editor, the author, I have no idea. But I found the idea of giving this book discussion questions before it earned its merit was so pretentious it made me dislike it even more. 

This whole book just missed the mark for me. 

Power does have some good writing, but she tries too hard in my very subjective opinion. A lot of the writing was wordy and theatrical and I would get bored with all the waxing and waning of the characters and descriptions. 

The experimental writing bits with Byatt were downright miserable for me. I ended up skimming most of them. They were half-worded, half-formed, barely coherent thoughts and phrases and I understand that that was the point, but instead of intriguing or symbolic I found it irritating and a waste of time. 

I know I’ve been incredibly harsh on this book review and I’m sure there are many of you that would disagree with me seeing as this book was a New York Times Bestseller, but there was nothing in this book that landed for me personally. 

The characters were...semi-interesting but I felt like they didn’t get the development or proper exploration I needed to actually like them because the setting and the situations were so dire and ridiculous that it constantly robbed them of any kind of empathetic or human moment. 

I do really enjoy the idea of having an almost entire female centric novel but there are other books out there that accomplish that and a female/female romance much better in my opinion (Girls of Paper and Fire for instance). 

In the end, it’s safe to say that I didn’t enjoy this novel very much. I would have liked to see these characters before the Tox, to see their downfall, their pandemonium, their change and growth and regression as characters due to their world ending as they knew it. 

Then, when the Tox does come and the world goes upside down, the feelings and relationships of the characters would have much more meaning than being told what had happened and expected to care like I was and couldn’t bring myself to, even at the end. 

Recommendation: Read Lord of the Flies instead. 

Score: 4/10

[contre-qui]

Book 2 of 2021: The Kingdom of Copper

The Kingdom of Copper by S.A. Chakraborty, Daevabad Trilogy book 2

(paperback, 621 pages, new adult, fantasy)

I read the first book in the Daevabad Trilogy (The City of Brass) a little over a year ago (read that review here), and I think this is the only new releases I've actually been following. I don't tend to keep up with new releases, but I was really excited to see where this series was going! I'll try to avoid spoilers from City of Brass, but just be aware that this is a sequel if you haven't read the first one yet.

“Go steal some happiness for yourself, my friend,” she said softly. “Trust me when I say the chance doesn’t always come back.” (451)

The Kingdom of Copper has a prologue that picks up nearly directly after the end of the first book, and then the first chapter begins about five years after that. The point of view switches between chapters as the novel follows Nahri, Dara, and Ali in the aftermath of the book 1 ending. Nahri is struggling, even five years later, to adjust to her position as Banu Nahida and Muntadhir's wife. She feels out of place among the al Qahtani royal family and must balance her religious, social, and political positions with her personal beliefs and wishes. Ali has been away from home since the odd change he incurred, and he has made a life for himself amongst people who don't ask quite so many questions. But he has to come back home to Daevabad, and he worries how his family will receive him after his exile - and how Nahri will feel about seeing him. Dara, too, has been away from Daevabad and struggles to come to terms with new power. Along the way, he meets a woman he believed to be long-dead and must put aside his personal feelings to meet the goals of his group. When Nahri and Ali meet again, they learn more about the political plans of Ghassan al Qahtani, and have to make tough decisions regarding the lengths to which they're willing to go in order to protect what they believe to be the rights of the mixed-blood Daevabad.

I don't think Kingdom of Copper was quite as good as the first book, but it was definitely a solid middle novel. Trilogies are always a little tricky, and the second books tend to be a little slow because they have to build tension while connecting the intro and conclusion plots. It certainly wasn't a bad novel, but it just wasn't awe-inspiring. As with the first novel, the worldbuilding was beautiful, and the mythology continued to be detailed and intriguing. I can tell that Chakraborty has done her research and has a personal interest in the mythology and architecture of Egypt and the Middle East at the time. I'm not a historical expert, but the descriptions of the human world have a distinct time period in mind, and those details seem to be accurate from what I do know. The dialogue was realistic, and the characters were dimensional. I enjoyed reading about the internal (and external) conflicts each of the POV characters faced surrounding their personal wants and beliefs versus their responsibilities and sense of duty. I felt like those conflicts were realistic, and they added a lot of dimension - both to the characters and to the political and social systems in place. The intersection between character arcs was also interesting, especially with the introduction of a new relationship dimension between Nahri, Muntadhir, and Jamshid. My little gay heart was also very excited to see some queer representation in this novel!

Right now, the overall plot of the trilogy is a little vague and undefined; I'm not sure where exactly this is going. I'm expecting a final, larger conflict, but I'm not really sure how we'll get there given where this book left off. I did feel like this one was a nice continuation of the first book, and it sets up well for the conclusion. It was a little anticlimactic, though, and I'm just not sure what to expect from the third and final book. The series does seem well-planned, though, so I have a lot of hope for that final novel.In general, this was a good book. It was engaging, it had a solid plot, and the world Chakraborty has made is just beautiful. It feels a little liminal, but I attribute that to it being the second in a trilogy.

Trigger warnings for violence, mentions of blood, descriptions of injury, character death, weaponry (blades and guns), and nongraphic mentions of sex and infidelity.

My overall opinion: A solid sequel! 

[clatteringwings]

The Coup

It was a coup years in the making. Coordination with other fairy leaders, the freedom of the imprisoned witches, and countless underground support from other species helped lead to what happened. If it was one thing fairies were good at it was surviving, truly a modern day hydra. Kill one and two more sprout back up. 

The infrastructure was already unstable. Fairies had started talking to Council members that were on their side. Easing them into the idea of the coup so that there was a smooth transition of power. It would still be a rough transition, destroyed and creating an entirely new government was a huge ordeal. 

Harnessing magic was the most powerful thing an army could do. Pair up fairies and witches and it was an army no one could stand up against, especially with how trained up they had gotten. The years have helped replenish the fairy population and now they were ready to take their home back.

Coordinated attacks that crippled observers and enforcers. Fairies kept fed on magic by witches to keep the attack coming until there was nothing else left. Dismantled. Destroyed. With the fewest casuals possible. It was almost like art how well it was planned, the majority of that plan being Ninat’s and an elder fairy named Saluasha. Planning with their new acquisitions for months and months. 

The aftermath...was anticlimactic. Movies always seemed to overexaggerate when governments got taken over in a coup. A lot of them surrendered and then...more work. It was going to be an uphill battle designing an entirely new system. This fight was just beginning. 

[bbnibini]

PSISLY: An Obey Me!CYOA – fifty🔖

the aftermath of Mammon’s normal ending

Taking Mammon's hand that day and promising a new beginning with him was one of the best decisions you've ever made. You've acknowledged your shortcomings not only as a partner but also as a person. It was still an ongoing process but, Mammon's smiles seemed to be returning to normal---gone was the awkwardness of your interactions, seeing a side of him--the real him with how he supported you despite your breakup. His affections and his awkward way of caring was very him, and you liked reminding him how much you appreciated him as a friend because of it: something you lacked, or overlooked when you were still dating. The way his brothers feigned indifference was uncanny however. Emotionally stunted demons who couldn't tell their family how much they worried about him straight to his face, relying on your intervention to relay their messages. And when you told Mammon about this, he only laughed, and with surprising depth and understanding,said:

"I know."

And that's when you began learning about the real side of Mammon, Avatar of Greed. A growing appreciation for him as an individual, tainted no more by illusions brought upon by your rose-coloured glasses. You have grown closer to an extent that Levi felt threatened of his position--in an ironic twist of fate, your favourite demon serpent intervened with your hangouts with Mammon instead of locking away in his room, incensed and confused with your closeness after his assumptions that "couples who break up hate each other". Even Lucifer said you were both strange, and was even suspicious of you if you were stringing his brother along again--you didn't say anything, more understanding than offended by his accusations, and instead itched to tell Mammon about how Lucifer was so concerned over him, almost to a doting extent. He needs to hear this right now. That someone cares. Someone loves him. You didn't believe Asmodeus when he told you of it, and was only convinced when you witnessed the firstborn's protective tendencies firsthand. There was a timid smile on his face when you told him, calling you his usual "insults" that poorly masked his obvious fondness of you to hide his embarrassment.

"Don't be stupid."

There were times however, when you drew the line; especially apparent during your time away from RAD. Lucifer wanted you apart, understandably fearful that either you or Mammon would persist on your toxic, codependent relationship. Mammon kept his word that day, showing more honesty with his affections, and you, in a funny reversal of roles, were now shying away from him. You were mindful of Lucifer's warnings and constantly reminded him that you still had feelings for someone else---a someone who you didn't even know if he really existed or was just a part of your dreams.

The blanket he gave you was well-kept and was one of the first items you packed carefully in your luggage at your impending departure from RAD. The letter as well, was hidden somewhere for safekeeping. You contented yourself with reading from photocopies, often earning a disgusted look from Levi who told you,

"Yuck." in all the eloquence he could care to muster at some "normie letter" he knew better that you'd be happier without.

The receipt was also stowed away, often a source of your 3 AM "investigations" that you were more concerned about than studying for your finals. At some nights, when you were feeling particularly lonely, you'd like to think that he was the one who left the umbrella in the park, hence his feverish kisses that night. It was a stretch however. A coincidence among coincidences. A girlish dream you'd like to hold onto, keeping your toxic ideals for his and his alone.

At least let me be a hypocrite for once.

Speaking of coincidence among coincidences, you were shocked to see wilted flowers in your locker---an extravagant bouquet of pink carnations that had now lost its beauty. Satan confessed to giving one to you, but was visibly confused when you mentioned the word "bouquet" instead.

"Its message is wasted by opulence. My feelings and desire to comfort you at the time would be misinterpreted with such lavishness."

"So…you didn't give this to me?"

He procured a single carnation from the wilted pile and twisted the stem with his fingers. "Perhaps it's your mystery man."

Your traitorous heart hoped once again, beating erratically upon his revelation. Satan immediately regretted his words and said,

"I'm sorry. Perhaps I should have lied to you instead, but his pettiness offended me and I listened to my anger." He sounded pouting, explaining that he could only assume that your secret admirer left the lavish gift after seeing his modest one. "Whoever he is, he's a sore loser."

You were inclined to agree.

The festival was anticlimactic as you were busy organising the event as student exchange representative. The other exchange students did check up on you from time-to-time, usually an excitable Luke who gave you his baked goods for the day, or a kind and gentle Simeon who offered to hear your thoughts as stress relief. Solomon was there occasionally, often when one of the two were around. You finally took Simeon's offer one very stressful day and like a true messenger of God, he listened to you with a kind ear. "I'm sorry to hear about that. Loving someone unknown to you must be very difficult."

"It is. But…the more I find out about the little things he did for me…the more I grow to love him. Oh Simeon, I'm hopeless. He's out there somewhere and he doesn't even want me to find him!"

"..."

"I'd say," Solomon interjected and cut through the thick tension that unknowingly built up in the room. "...to not look for him entirely. He sounds like a fickle and no-good man."

"A sincere advice from an unexpected source." You feigned a shocked expression as mockery. "Are you speaking from experience?"

"It takes one to know one." he laughed lightly, turning to Simeon. "Isn't that right?"

"I don't know." Simeon answered. "They sound pretty dedicated. What if they do find him someday with that tenacity?"

"Oh! A throwdown! How exciting. Will he be beaten into a pulp? Can I watch?"

"Shut up. Simeon and I are having a moment here! Go away!"

Thanks to Solomon's constant badgering however, your heart-to-heart talks with Simeon were constantly interrupted. It persisted until the end of your exchange program so you had to settle for text messages and your angel friend's love-hate relationship with his DDD. No such heart-to-heart was ever accomplished.

The mystery behind Belphegor's knowledge about your locker was only solved at your final moments in RAD when everyone was bidding you goodbye. His expression shifted once you brought out the topic, and he leaned to your ear to whisper ominous words that sent shivers down your spine.

Ÿ̶̟̪̟̫́͘ö̷̧̢̞́̽͌ͅu̵͍̎ ̷̧̟͙͕̿̈͝s̵̩̭̬̾̏̈́̀ͅe̴̝̟͉̞͂͊͌r̸͕̊i̸̼̅̓͐͘ơ̶̦̫͍͉͊̃̒ǘ̴̡̖̲̇͝s̴̪͠l̶͚̟͔̆͛̿͘͜y̴̢̆͆̔ ̸̯̐͝t̷̞͈͚̒̈́h̴̰̠͇͘i̸̟̭͒̂͘ņ̸͙͓͇̑͘k̴̟̻̟͕̈́́̅̍ ̴͇̔͐̋̌I̷̩̊̈́̽ ̵̛̰̲̬͗ẇ̷͇̃͛ǫ̶̫̲̩̔̾ư̷̙̤͛̒͒ļ̵͈̃̈́͋̕d̴͖̠̀͆͐͜n̸̨͍̯̬͌̈́̀'̶̣̎̈́͌̃t̸̳͍͓̊̀̌ ̷̹̈̓̒͘k̶̝͈͙̔̓́n̴͕̼̕ͅǫ̷̖̖̰̌͝ẃ̷̗̤̫͠ͅ?̵̧̝̳̿"̵̪͈͊̓̎ ̸̢̧̡̈́

The dark look in his eyes dissipated as you pulled away, but his whisper of a tone remained threatening.

"D̸̲͙ͅo̴̢̰͙͚͉̘̼͒̍̍̍̿ň̷͓͉͙̝̱͇̐̈́̏'̸̬̲̙̭͚̱̆t̷̟̦̼͊̐̆ ̴͎͖̙̬̥̃̆̚͜k̶̲̲̝͖͓͚̕ệ̶̭̰͇̇͜ḙ̶̯̤͖̰̬͐̑͂͐̓p̸͙͖̙̽͂̾̓͜͠ ̵̧̨͎̺̝́́͜͜ș̶̯̍̋e̴̞̮̫̪͉͌́̓̿̈́͝͠c̷̨̮̲̺̭̼̝̈́̈́r̴̢̻͊͒͊͋̕͝ȩ̸̻̻̥͕͎̍̈́ẗ̵͎́́͊̊̅͋s̸̢̝̠͍̫̣̻̆̂̃ ̴̨̝̪̬̉̃̾̾f̴̱̰̬̘̹̒͑͂̆̚ͅr̵̘̈́̋͐ơ̵͕̰̾̓̈́̉m̸̢̛̩̫̤̘̫̹̐̒̌͆͝ ̴̡̡̪̺͉͎͐̾͗͘͠ͅm̸̘͓̭̳͈̂͂ê̸̢̼̠͇͐̏̾̑ ̸̛̜̭̰͍̪͈̦̌̎̓̊e̸̛̹̩̖̼̽͐͝ṿ̷̤̲̱͎͌͜ȇ̷̠̈́͠r̸̫̂̄̉͋̐̎̉ ̴̧̳̩͉̔̂̔̀̕̚͜͝a̴̹̱̬̙͈̾͗͐͘͠͝ģ̶̨̝̺̩̠̫̍̔̉̋à̷͓͔̌̍̽̅̆͋ͅi̷̼͖͍̠̗̙͕̿n̷̯͇̯.̵͇̱̊̈́̑̄"̴̤̋͒͗̚

You were only thankful that you asked on your departure, for you didn't really know how to face him after his threats.

Just like that, a few months had passed since you left Devildom and you were back to the monotony of your everyday life. Oftentimes, you catch yourself reminiscing to your rowdier days, wondering about several things.

What could have happened to him? Was he doing fine wherever he is? Did he miss you as much as you missed him?

Was he even real at all?

His touch lingered on your lips sometimes, subsided only by the reality of the heartache he had left you. A more sensible side of you entertained thoughts of moving on from him, and sometimes even attempted to do so in actuality.

But every date was a failure.

They weren't sensitive enough. Not eloquent enough. Not gentle enough. Not shy enough. Not…him.

"Stop being so picky." your friends would say, but you were afraid of inadvertently hurting someone again with your ideals. So before your date could even open up to you, you would chicken out.

"I can't do this…" you said in your nth group date, already at the door with your flustered friend persuading you to reconsider.

"But he's hot!"

"And he's not my type!"

You bolted out of the door…or at least you thought you did. Your head collided with a leather jacket instead, cushioned by the impact of your little accident by the man's carefully timed catch.

"Woah there. Careful." said the eerily familiar voice that made you look up.

"You know this handsome stranger?" your friend excitedly asked as they called your name, but you were too stunned in silence to answer. He was the one who answered for you instead.

"Thanks. I'm Mammon by the way!

.

.

.

.

Their first."

[ MEMORIA 9: ~His Gravitas~ unlocked. ]

💌Read now

💌 Continue to next scenario (Prerequisite: Unlock TRUE ENDING)

💌masterlist

[cogentranting]

7, 13, 14 for SPN ask game

Thanks!

7. 

I think that there’s a lot about the season 5 ending that is sort of tighter and cleaner-- the season arcs all flow one to the other very naturally  so that the themes and the character arcs and plot feel very unified and well thought through. And the seasons after season 5 don’t have that same level of unity and foresight. And I think that the first five seasons present a very clear, fairly simple, and satisfying arc for Dean and him getting a sort of happily ever after with Lisa and Ben and a normalcy he never could even admit that he wanted. So on the one hand I think season 5 is a good ending on most counts. Sam sacrificing himself in a final defiant triumph over the destiny that everyone has predicted for him for so long, is also I think a really good crowning moment. But you’re also presented with the problem of the aftermath not being a satisfying ending. I’m totally fine with characters dying but your options with Sam would be dying and going to Hell to be tortured by Lucifer forever (not a good ending), leaving it on an ambiguous note of Sam’s back but how and does he reunite with Dean or... ? (not a satisfying ending because it is way too ambiguous and pretty much any prediction of how it plays out casts the rest of the ending into doubt too), or you send him to Heaven and at that stage in the show that’s not even a good either. 

Add on to that all the things that would have been lost if the second 2/3rds of the show weren’t there and I end up really favoring the season 15 ending. I think Sam and Dean get such a chance to mature and grow and regain some balance in their life after that point and all that makes such a difference. And I really do like how things ended. 

BUT I might move that ending we got and make it a season SIXTEEN ending. Not from a position of “I didn’t want it to end yet” but because of how the end date affected a couple arcs. While I like the season 15 ending, I thought season 15 as a whole was pretty lackluster. There was a lot of missed potential, a few things I really didn’t like, and overall just not that much that I was particularly attached to. But season 14 had so much potential. Dean being possessed by Michael, the Malak box, Jack losing his soul. But all of that fell short in the last handful of episodes, and my theory is that came as a result of deciding to end with season 15 and meant that they had to switch gears into setting up that final season arc which I think they’d been holding in reserve for a bit. So Michael ends up being kind of anticlimactic, Jack losing his soul happens and then never really gets fully dealt with because season 15 didn’t seem to want to dive into all those complicated emotions .  But if there was one more season, season 14 could have ended with a big confrontation with Michael-- allowing more of the consequences of what Dean went through with Michael at the beginning of the season to be felt, more resolution for what it meant for Dean to try to cage Michael himself, the consequences of choosing not to use the Malak box (and why Billie was so sure that was the ONLY way), another appearance of Michael Dean (who I really enjoyed), and then have Jack lose his soul at the end. Then you have all of season 15 to deal with what that means, letting maybe the moment when Jack goes completely off the rails happen around midseason and then at least half a season to work on fixing the relationship between Jack and Sam and Dean (especially Dean). Then you could even end season 15 with Jack still dying, and being brought back part way through season 16 then regaining his soul, all the same, But that final season wouldn’t have the burden of trying to fix the damaged relationship. It would just be there. Because my least favorite part of the last season is that it doesn’t do nearly enough to fix the relationship between Jack and Dean.  So yeah. Give season 14 more breathing room. Then copy and paste 15x20′s ending but put it onto the end of season 16. 

13. My favorite arc is probably the Mark of Cain. Which is a long arc since it’s a full season and a half, but I really like how all of it plays out. I think it’s really interesting to dive into that darker side of Dean that has been present since season 1 (I think of the end of the season, him telling Sam that it scared him how he didn’t hesitate to kill the possessed man in order to save Sam and John, and that he’s scared of how far he would go for either of them) and that just kind of kept getting amplified over the seasons, with his time in Hell, and then really became even stronger after how he had to live in Purgatory for a year. But the Mark of Cain stuff draws on it in this really interesting way of making it a curse on him and while simultaneously pulling Dean down into the worst, darkest, most twisted version of himself (which is so fun to see), it also highlights a lot about what is best about Dean-- how strong he is in fighting against the Mark, how deeply he wants to do the right thing and protect people, the force of his determination, how much he cares and how intensely he feels the weight of every time he ends up hurting someone. And it confronts this image of himself that Hell and Purgatory and everything in between have given him that he is dark and damaged and a killer and warrior and that’s it but ultimately makes all about how much he is willing to sacrifice to protect the people around him (especially Sam) and about everyone else around him-- Sam, Cas, Charlie, even Crowley-- loving him so much that they’d go to the ends of the Earth and cross all these lines just to save Dean. It’s one long extended character study of so much of what I find fascinating about Dean and it’s dripping with angst and I love it.  I also really like the arc in season 2 of Dean coming to terms with the fact that his father died for him. The arc where Jack is dying is really good too, because I love seeing Sam and Dean and Cas being paternal. 

14.

Agh. I don’t know. I think Jody probably reflects a lot of things I’d like to be. But overall my gut reaction is to say that I’m more Sam than anyone else. I can’t even put into words exactly why. Certainly I wouldn’t say that I identify with Sam’s struggles-- more like, if Sam had a led a more normal stable life we would have a lot in common. As it is I wouldn’t say I really identify with Sam (or with any character really. most of the shows and stories I like I don’t have someone I really identify with) and that it may actually be why I don’t find myself very drawn to Sam or his storylines. I like Sam (probably more as I’m rewatching now than I have in the past) but its not often that I’m super invested in his individual arcs or storylines. 

[maevelin]

what do you think of sansa and dany's relationships this season? you are the best at metas, maybe you can analyze these ladies?

I am actually finding their confrontation to be predictable. And in a way interesting. Now let me start by saying that I am not very fond of the characterization this show gives to most characters. I find the GoT writers to be lacking the ability to write nuanced dynamics and to move past the superficial. But given where we started with the characters and where we are now both Dany and Sansa, Sansa more, have went through major character development and they are both women with agency and personalities that they are able to own completely and thrive in them. 

I always find the clash of powerful characters to be interesting because this is where the interesting conflict that is essential to every storytelling comes from. Especially characters that rely in their mental and emotional strengths, in strategy, in manipulation, in power games and in their beliefs. And I think there is nothing to fear into characters arguing or not getting along. Especially female characters. The fact that both are women does not mean they must get along by default. That would actually be an equally harmful representation as to have writers not understanding women and having them being toxic to each other because of the prejudice that surrounds the hostile attitude women are believed to have towards each other in real life. But in writing and in this particular narrative women should be simply be written as people and when the conflict is based on serious reasons and makes sense then it is a great source for interesting storytelling.

This is after all the Game of Thrones. And both Dany and Sansa are major players in it now. They have to establish their power and their dominance and they have to do it with whatever means necessary. Foremost with their intelligence but also with their endurance. This has been their journey so far after all. They have beat the odds, they grew, the came into the people they are now. And the people they are now are having ideological differences and their goals are not similar. And this is a deadly game with many things at stake so it would make sense for both of them to want to maintain their power and territory. 

In many ways both Sansa and Dany have led parallel lives. They started with a certain level of innocence, naivety and powerlessness. They were known for their beauty. Their nobility was their strength but also their fatal weakness that led them into all sort of horrors. Both of them are survivors. They faced an extremely misogynistic world that viewed them us pawns. They faced abuse, rape, terror. They rose from the ashes stronger and took down their enemies one by one so to get the power that was never handed to them but was owned by them each step of the way. And they did it using all possible means. By pretending to be stupid, by seduction, by strategy, by brutality, by their name and legacy. Both of them driven by the need to reclaim what was lost. Both of them learning from their enemies. Both of them facing betrayal. Both of them bending but not breaking. The fact that Sansa still holds on to her femininity and propriety more while Dany has embraced the conqueror persona still makes them two sides of the same coin. They have faced endless obstacles and in a way they are seeing in each other one more obstacle. 

Sansa is more practical while Dany is more of a dreamer. Dany is like Robert Baratheon in a way...she is more able to fight a war than dealing with political aspects in the aftermath while Sansa is better with the practicalities of running a Kingdom rather than securing it by force where there she needs warriors for the front lines. 

Both of them are entitled. Both are regal but in different ways. Dany is more arrogant but she is able to take council better than Sansa while Sansa is more observant and calm in her responses but she relies far too much on her own judgement thus making herself the only voice she will hear and if she makes a mistake then it is game over (and it only takes one under these circumstances).

Dany is lacking the self awareness Sansa has and while Sansa is more or a political figure she is lacking the military abilities that are necessary for the imminent threat that is in their way. Dany has a major savior complex and believes in her absolute right to rule to a degree that creates blinders all around her that don’t allow her to see that she is -despite any of her good intentions that do exist- in a way invading the north (even with Jon’s blessings) and given the culture and the history of the Northerners she should acknowledge how she would not be accepted and that another approach could have been more fruitful. While on the other hand Sansa (that let us face it at this point is the total collective brains of the Stark family) does tend to undermine Jon and not comprehend the very real danger the Night King poses against all that she wants to keep. Jon refuses to accept Sansa’s intelligence but Sansa is doing the same with him while he has knowledge on certain subjects she definitely does not. Sansa knows how to play the game which in the long run will be very essential after the dust settles but right now the fire is at her door and she is unable to create bonds and allies past those she can handle politically without realizing that what is coming is not only political. Sansa wants to keep the North and Winterfell but first she will have to ensure the survival of both. And for that she needs Dany so antagonizing the one power that can actually save all that Sansa holds at heart is not the smartest thing to do. And on the other hand Dany was judging Viserys for believing the lies he was fed about the commoners praying for their rightful ruler but she is effectively acting as if any other behavior towards her face is irrational. 

It is a very interesting pull and push actually. Not to mention the current romance that is in the way that does complicate things for everyone because it distorts the way every character sees the intentions of the other characters. 

Anyhow either Sansa and Dany will find common ground or not remains to be seen but it would make no sense for them to jump into something like that without clashing first. Both of them crave power. Power they believe is their birthright. Both of them are ready to defend what they perceive to be their right with any means necessary. Both are amoral grey characters and I can see where both are coming from.

For now I am enjoying this because it is between the lines. They are side-eyeing each other, they are negotiating, they are testing the waters. The confrontation is not direct and you can feel the power shifting between them as they are taking in and studying each other with subtle threats and meanings that emphasize on their point of views and on what makes each one a serious opponent. I think this is just a prelude and the real power moves between them are yet to be seen.

But given how they are only but a few episodes left and a very real zombie threat in the way we will have to see how the writers will work with all that into the story. I hope they don’t rush things just for the sake of it and then create a convoluted mess with an anticlimactic resolve that won’t do justice to either woman. Like they did with Sansa and Arya last year actually.

[seancamerons]

i’m currently on s6 of degrassi watching all the way through no skipping. i haven’t watched s6 in full in awhile. one thought i had while watching is they tried to get the couples back from the “good old days” namely jash and semma. sounds like a great idea huh? i know i recall at the time being interested in it. let’s delve in shall we?

with jash however i noticed that ashley does zip zilch but be jimmy’s gf. she has nothing to separate her identity from her relationship she has no plot whatsoever much like his previous relationship with hazel where jimmy had a life outside of where hazel did not. now we have that problem with ashley. while it was cool to have her back she had nothing to do. no plot. just being jimmy’s girlfriend. ashley if you remember as a character had a pretty rich history she was one of the original main characters and she comes back so anticlimactic it was like, “what is the point of bringing you back”? in s4 i felt like her ending was okay. she had been wrapped up. she ended things with craig. she had her friends. she was moving onto bigger and better things in london. the world was her oyster and then she got homesick? it just doesn’t make logical sense. its a shame also for ashley fans (i’m sure she had them) and it did a great disservice to her character because she had no voice outside of her relationship with jimmy. we could’ve explored things with ashley’s goals in music as of season 6. instead she was just a stand in. 

moving on with that, it brings us back to something that i thought back in season 2 ashley had two big love interests in previous seasons before craig there was jimmy - her first love. they couldn’t go through any more with crash because they wrote them into a wall by then. but fortunately they was some hope that maybe jimmy had some love left for ashley despite their last break up being in a yearbook, a poem if you will about drowning. although at the time ashley loved jimmy he couldn’t accept her for who she was at that time or who she had become. it was possible that they never forgot each other. there was never any ill-will between them in the aftermath of that particular split compared to however they broke up rather heinously in the conclusion of s1 and the aftermath was horrible for ashley as it was for jimmy mutually for vastly different reasons. 

with semma even though they are my absolute favorite relationship on the show (or even ever in the world?) they are pretty weird in s6. idk if anyone noticed but they went from emma saying in the premiere’s two-parter in the basement she couldn’t care (about him) and what could be implied is because she cares too much but either way they go from that to upon his release being as if time never could take them apart kissing and hugging and then i could only assume they got back together while he was still incarcerated but yeah. i know a lot of things happened in between in the timeline that we as an audience didn’t see but i thought they moved a bit quickly in s6. 

it irks me we don’t see jail from sean’s perspective its a big missed opportunity its like when they only explored liberty’s pregnancy for jt in s5 - not from liberty’s perspective and both being incarcerated and being pregnant are pretty big deals. liberty hadn’t planned for her pregnancy but she had planned for a potential ‘future’ that didn’t include that. but getting back to sean then again a lot of sean’s plots-past we don’t see him through his own point-of-view. rarely. in season 3 yes but in season 4 not so much he was largely absent and then he left completely. what’s upsetting is sean had maybe dealt with the shooting while living with his parents but he didn’t experience any growth as a person. it could be inferred that he didn’t attend school at wasaga high we can infer it wasn’t a very good school and if he did want to graduate like he wanted to be the first person to graduate in his family a dream that sadly didn’t come true he was gonna do it at degrassi because not only would emma be there his achillies heel or weakness if you could call it but because he feels more at home at degrassi. he went “home” to wasaga only to realize degrassi’s more his home. ultimately it was more about emma his reasonings for his return (6.08) which doesn’t really surprise me. however they have all these great missed opportunities with sean’s character to be explored and they fall short and they always shuffle him into the background or live through is relationships with more developed characters to the point where sean’s development weakens. so how can we expect sean to be more than just what he is to most sean being known as forever as a temperamental mechanic who loves emma and saved her life in s4 almost as if his life revolves around emma. how sad is that?

i love sean’s character and i knew that there were more important things to be done with his character than to simply reunite with emma despite how i feel about the pairing. i could’ve done without the 2edgy4me knockoff of the fast and furious plotline but if it had to happen there’s so much that could’ve been better executed without sacrificing characterization. for example (2)

sean was very angry about who killed jt. what if he tracked down drake lempkey? who was on the run after stabbing jt and then being faced with a choice and he chooses not to hurt drake but it gives him closure and ect. instead of having the gohomelakehurst debacle from if you leave we could’ve seen sean fight for jt’s legacy in the name of vengeance. 

sean doing well in school and graduating with his friends in s7. we see more of the great dynamics of snake and sean in the meantime as well as some stuff sean does in shop much like s3. 

i conclude with,while it’s great to bring back classic pairings especially ones with great histories and being fan favorites but not when you ignore or hold back the development of characters involved in the very ships.