#evan buckey

[housewifebuck]

[exhuastedpigeon]

Live footage of me during the Buddie gym scene in 2x01

[queerbuckleys]

the way he looks at him vs. the way he looks at him ⤷for @ravens-words

[samantha-chicago]

9-1-1 Masterlist

Defence (Evan ‘Buck’ Buckley x Reader, Eddie Diaz)

Over Work (Eddie Diaz x reader, James Street, Dominic Luca, S.W.A.T.)

Proposal (Eddie Diaz x Reader)

[survivoreddie]

Abandon 'Ships - scene 4 | episode stills

[sherlocking-out-loud]

if you think about it, 911's season 5 finale is, literally, gay. it ends with a gay wedding.

and then Eddie is there, and he's single and unrepressed (or getting there).

and Buck is also there, also single.

[rogerzsteven]

SevenSentenceSunday

Starting seven sentence sunday with sensory deprivation fic

He doesn't know how long he was asleep when he opens his eyes, they took his watch, too; Buck lifts his head to look around and winces when the joints in his neck crack, filling the quiet cell. His limbs feel sore from being in the same position for too long, muscles burning and aching to be stretched, but for some reason Buck can't bring himself to move let alone get up. His heart kicks against his ribcage, still fast and strong, blood courses through his veins like it's running a marathon; Buck can hear every skipping beat and every wooshy sound traveling to his ears so clearly even though he tries not to. Desperately needing something to process, his mind holds onto the feelings worse than ever now, the room gives Buck no choice but to feel his own self. It's like torture. He's always hated the feeling. Before it can get too much, Buck lowers his hand down on the ground to trails his fingers over the surface, to feel something other than himself but his heart beats faster and his red-rimmed eyes start to blur again. The surface is so smooth that there is nothing to feel. It doesn't make any difference. The lump in his throat gets heavier and it hurts to swallow, like a barbed wire wrapped around his throat suffocating him; Buck's breath hitches in his throat and he digs his teeth to his lower lip hard enough to draw blood— he's not gonna cry, he's not gonna cry, he's not gonna— Eddie. He thinks of Eddie. He wants Eddie, he wants Eddie to find him and pull him out of this nothingness, he wants Eddie to wrap his arm around him and keep him safe. God, Buck misses him. He should've listened to him. Things wouldn't have come to this point. He's so fucking dumb.

Tagging @kananjarus @prettyboybuckley @monsterrae1 @buddierights @swiftiediaz @buddiefication @spotsandsocks @shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @the-likesofus @ajunerose @alyxmastershipper @princessfbi @jobairdxx

[booktrashme]

Alright ya’ll I need all the fic recs you’ve got for that poker scene

[luv-eddiediaz]

“you don’t have to be anything for anybody.” and “how could you be?” are haunting me today.

I feel like those lines meant something deeper. Like Eddie was telling Buck to just be himself always, but also that what Eddie has been trying to make Buck his romantic partner, he’s been trying to make Buck something for him. And he’s just realized he’s been doing this, but he shouldn’t be. That Buck needs to be Buck. For himself and for any future person who decides to love him. 

And the other, the look on Eddie’s face, I don’t think he was talking just about of course Buck isn’t going to be the same after he was struck by lightning, but Eddie isn’t either. I think he was talking about himself. This whole loneliness, and suddenly realizing time is fleeting arc of Eddie’s happened after the lightning strike - watching Buck nearly die has made Eddie realize a whole lot of things all at once, but in true Eddie fashion, he hasn’t really internalized any of it. So, no, Eddie, how could you be the same after you watched Buck die? How could your life go on when you almost lost someone else you love in another tragic way the same way you lose your life?

I don’t know. I feel like that scene with them at the cemetery, and then him calling his mom is the beginning of Eddie trying to let go of his feelings for Buck. I do not think he will be successful in it, but I think he feels like loving someone who won’t ever love him back is fruitless, and that it’s holding him back and making him lonely. Holding on and pining for Buck is going to get him nowhere, so he needs to let go. 

But what happens, in every movie when one half of the unrequited love lets go? The other half finally gets it. 

[carolinahope]

Did they for fucking real put Queen's Bicycle over Buck chasing after the drunk driver?

Do they think they are funny?

[very-feral-lesbian]

im sorry???

[groupielove21]

Buck throughout 07x4 was jealous of Tommy and Eddie, but every scene always has Eddie as the focal point of that jealousy and that's the biggest thing I feel like most are missing.

Buck likes Tommy, it helped him see that indeed he also feels a sexual attraction to men and he is going to enjoy this whole new side of his life with Tommy.

BUT-

He was jealous of Eddie, of how his best friend (the man he truly loves) was spending more and more time with a man who is not him.

Praising another man, laughing with another man, fighting with another man, being a team with another man.

And that was what bothered him.

Just like seeing how Chris, the only child he considers important in his life (besides his niece obviously), was happily talking about another man in his life was literally driving him crazy.

So yeah, Buck likes Tommy and is probably going to be very happy with him for a while, only to realize that something is missing.

Tommy is not Eddie.

Tommy is not his family.

He already has one.

(Also, I love Tommy because he's going to help Buck be more himself, I hope he doesn't get too hurt after this and finds his own Eddie!)

[queerbuckleys]

LOVING YOU THE WAY I DO [3k | pining | romcom] {ao3}

a/n: my fic for the lovely @ronordmann 's reverse prompt challenge <3 title from where you lead by carole king, cause well, it's very fitting. this is also like crack spec for 6x04, and after my 5x13 "not spec" fic i have learned to never say never 😅 enjoy <3

Buck wouldn’t say it’s a quiet shift, obviously, but they had cleaned every surface, tool, dish, and towel. Every item had been restocked and inventoried. And there were still four hours on the clock. 

He picks up on a muffled conversation, a voice that is distantly familiar but he can’t quite place, but hears his name.  He perks up upon hearing the footfalls on the stairs, mostly out of curiosity and confusion. 

There is an element of surprise when Jamie is standing in front of him, looking a bit nervous. It takes a moment for everything to completely register, because he knew someone was coming up the stairs to see him, but he would have never guessed it would have been a roommate from his past life. 

Every head swivels between him and Jamie before he can hop up. 

And it’s awkward for a second, cause they never really hugged before but a handshake feels too formal, so buck opts for a quick side hug. 

Eddie already has skepticism written all over his face. 

“Okay, everyone, this is my old roommate Jamie! Jamie this is- everyone! Hen, Chimney, Bobby, Lucy, and Eddie,and I think you met Ravi downstairs.” They each nod or wave and smile. 

“Oh my god faces for all the stories! Did you really have rebar through your head?” Jamie clearly asks Chimney to which he nods. “but you two, you guys are new, I would have remembered-“ 

“Buck you talked-” Chimney starts. It’s overwhelming and something is pulling at Buck’s consciousness. 

“Okay, okay- that’s enough.” Buck pipes up nervously dragging Jamie away from everyone. 

When they are down the stairs Buck takes a breath, 

“Everyone’s okay right? No ones dead or dying?” 

“Yeah, yeah everyone is fine. I just have a favor to ask? And I know it’s been literal years, and you can say no cause I know you’re busy, but, you always said-” 

“Anything. And I meant it.” Buck nods,  his arms are crossed loosely. 

“Okay, you can totally say no or whatever, but I kinda sorta need a boyfriend for my high school reunion?” 

Buck stills for a moment, processing the request and thinking back through the catalog of his memories of Jamie. 

“Uh yeah, first off a lot happened after you left I guess. Went to therapy, figured out I was repressed, and uh, well- my boyfriend of two years broke up with me 2 weeks before my High School reunion in a small town where the biggest news is that I’m gay so-” 

Just then Eddie leans over the railing slightly with a quirked brow, and Buck just looks back up at him and smiles. 

“-whatever you do, don't come out on Facebook I guess.” The last bit of his sentence slows as he watches the interaction between them. “Oh shit, I’m really sorry, I would never have asked if I knew you were taken,” Jamie rushes. 

“I- what? I am actually actively choosing to be single right now?” he doesn't really mean it to come out as a question, “Eddie and I are- uh- just friends,” He swallows trying his hardest not to look back up at the loft where he knows Eddie is pretending to read something on his phone, waiting to jump into action if he hears anything that indicates a disturbance of the peace.  friends that have a kid together a voice says that suspiciously sounds like Maddie. “Yeah, just friends.” 

“Really trying to convince yourself there huh Buck.” 

Buck waves it off and claps his hands together, “So a high school reunion huh?”

“Yeah, it’s next weekend and I’ll text you the details?” 

“Sounds good, my number’s the same,” Buck smiles and Jamie leaves. 

He makes his way back upstairs and flops back down in his spot next to Eddie. 

“What was that all about?” Eddie asks without looking up. 

“He needs a date for his High school reunion.” 

That gets everyone’s attention. 

“A fake date.” he quickly clarifies but no one goes back to what they were doing. “Why is everyone so shocked, he’s my friend and needs help”

“It’s just it’s been awhile since you lived with him, and you just agreed just like that?” Hen asks Buck shrugs and the silence blankets over them again. 

___

It’s a week and a half later and he’s pulling up to his old house, it has a fresh coat of paint and the front yard is more than just dead grass. And Jamie is standing on the porch before swinging into the Jeep. 

“Oh man, glad you still have this old thing,” Jamie taps the dashboard lightly and Buck smiles before pulling away from the curb. 

They hit the usual traffic that comes with trying to get anywhere near lax, buck adjusts his grip on the steering wheel, “So what’s our story? Do i have to be entirely different person or-“ 

“No, no one met Sam, and he wasn’t out so we never-“ Jamie stops and swallows, “so you can just be you. But maybe we ran into each other while you were working, reconnected, and then started dating like 4 months ago?”

Something passes across Buck's face before he nods. 

“And basically everything with me is the same, I did stop bartending and got a job at a marketing firm though. But I want to know about you, I feel like something changed with you.” 

So Buck gave him the rundown of the last 5 years, from Abby leaving to the science project that he and Chris worked on last week that he got an A on. Promising to show off pictures of Jee once they were at their gate.

“And you’re sure you’re just friends with this Eddie guy?” 

“I never said there aren’t feelings there Jamie, just said we are friends.” 

“Ohhhh, so have you told him?” 

And Buck just turns to Jamie like he grew another head. 

“Did you miss the part where there’s a kid, who is arguably one of my closest friends, who’s lost a parent already involved in all this? If something were to go wrong with us, I could never forgive myself.” 

“But what if it goes right?” 

and Buck sighs and adjusts his grip on the steering wheel. And the quiet music becomes the only thing filling the air as they continue their journey. 

—- 

They arrive late and are happy to find a pair of beds in their hotel room where they easily navigated sharing a bathroom and settled in for the night. 

They found a nice brunch place where they settled in ordering mimosas and omelets, sharing a plate of french toast. 

“Hey, didn’t you grow up like not too far from here? Did you want to visit your parents?” Jamie asks before sipping his cup of coffee. 

Buck ducks his head and scratches his neck. 

“I guess I kind of glossed over that part, but they wouldn’t be too happy to see me if I'm being honest. I don't really want to see them either. I have Maddie and she’s who raised me.” 

Jamie tilts his head, 

“Yeah, remember the brother who died?” Jamie nods, “No one else was a match, so- and I was just always a reminder of him I guess. We tried. or I guess I tried in therapy but- yeah. No need to visit them. Or Hershey. I have everyone and everything I need in LA.” 

“like Eddie and Chris?” Jamie asks with a small smile on his face. 

“and Maddie and Jee. Chimney, Hen and her wife, and Bobby and Athena. I have the big family that I always wanted. But yeah, even if it was just Eddie and Chris- I think life would be pretty good.” 

“Okay we’re gonna have to do something about that.” 

“What?” 

“The way you get when you talk about them, it’s almost overwhelming, Buck. everyone will figure it out the second you talk about them.” 

Buck feels like hitting his head against the table. 

Instead he takes a gulp of mimosa and tries not to groan too audibly. He realizes that this is the only person who knew him before, seeing him now without the progression over time. Who has the juxtaposition, who also knows him well enough to call him out on it. 

“I know. I am capable of not talking about them, I swear.” 

Jamie looks at him with a semi serious expression. 

“Yes it will be hard but I can.” 

Jamie laughs lightly. 

— 

They walk around the small downtown before grabbing an early dinner with Jamie’s small group of high school friends, they tease him about being Jamie’s big strong knight in shining armor, and it feels nearly impossible to not talk about his knight and his prince. 

Throughout dinner and at the reunion there’s something pulling in Buck’s chest. His hand feels wrong in Jamie's- his hands are too soft and delicate. When Buck puts his arm around him it feels wrong. And when he leans down to kiss him on the cheek it feels too far. And when someone brings up kids, and he has to bite his tongue and shoves his hands into the pockets of jeans as he nods and listens. And it might be one the most excruciating 3 hours of Buck’s personal life. 

—-

When they land back at LAX and he switches his phone back on while they taxi. A rush of notifications buzz through Buck’s phone, the last one a text message resting on top of the stack 

Eddie 🧯You’re on the plane. Sorry. 

It rests above a few missed calls and a voicemail. All from Eddie, and Buck’s heart is in his throat. He opens the messages and he zeros in on the one that tells him everything. 

We went to the beach, Chris’ request. 

The other’s break his heart, and he wants to break down the door of the plane, beg to be let out that much sooner. 

I think I made a mistake, 

He’s asking for you. 

Jamie is still next to him, but he feels a million miles away until he speaks again. 

“Buck- everything okay?” Jamie asks, pulling Buck back into reality just enough. 

“I- I don’t know. Something happened with Chris? I- I don’t know. I have to go, I’m really sorry but-” 

“I get it dude. You need to go be Superman for your kid. I can catch a cab.” Jamie says a new look of understanding in his eyes that Buck had never seen before as he squeezes just above his elbow, he doesn't let go until they are able to move from their seat. 

When they reach the jetway and Buck can maneuver past people, he takes a breath and nods at Jamie, not sure he can speak before taking off through the airport. 

He knows he must be getting weird looks, Hen and Maddie have teased him relentlessly about how he runs. It’s not his fault his legs are stupidly long. 

He makes it to the beach in 15 minutes, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel when he hits the red lights. 

His mind feels too quiet and not running amuck with what he might find there. Just the red pin on the map, a siren calling him, drawing him closer. 

He parks and begins to scan the sand for a familiar form and he finds them. Christopher pulled into his dad’s lap like he’s a kid again and not on the verge of a full blown teenager. His face tucked into his chest hiding away from the world. Eddie's nose buried in his hair. Something settles in Buck's chest upon the sight, but something else snaps in his heart.

He approaches delicately, carefully finding a place next to Eddie and placing a hand on his shoulder. 

Eddie looks up and has slightly red rimmed eyes. 

“Hey,” Buck says quietly.  

“You came?” Eddie’s voice is quiet and rough. 

“I'll always come when you call.” 

“Buck?” 

“Hey buddy,” he replies, rubbing Christopher's back. 

“I thought I could do it.” Christopher says unprompted, now extracted from Eddie's chest, his fingers twisting in his swim shirt. “and I know I can do it, but I got out there and something else happened and I couldn’t. And I was just back out there without you.” Chris just looks up at Buck with wide eyes, chewing his bottom lip. “I think I can do it with you.” 

His eyes shine.

Buck shifts a little in his spot, eyes darting to the powerful waves crashing over the sand. 

“Chris, Bu-” Buck places his hand back on Eddie’s shoulder and squeezes, “You sure?” 

He nods slowly, eyes now fixed on the horizon. 

“I’ll be right there with you too, okay?” 

Buck swallows again, and finally looks back to Chris. 

“Okay. Let’s do this.” 

Chris beams bright as they all carefully stand looking at the beast in front of them. And each of them holding tight to one of Chris’s hands they careen toward the waves. 

It's an unspoken agreement that caution is thrown to the wind. Slow and steady too nerve wracking. Adrenaline pumping through each of their veins. 

Chris is the first to shriek as their feet hit the water, and they both nearly freeze but it turns into a bout of laughter that changes their entire world. 

They run, swinging Chris between them,  until the waves lap against Chris's knees, and they are all smiling. Each from finding their own joy in the waves and the pride of the other two. 

Rarely is a word spoken while they just stand there watching the ocean, reclaiming its name of peace in their hearts as the sun sinks below the horizon. 

“I'm hungry,” Chris says, breaking the silence as the last sliver of the sun is left above the ocean. They slowly back away from the water, and something settles in Buck’s chest, he can sense that it has in Eddie and Christopher too. 

They go to the pizza shop down the road with the plastic tablecloths and red plastic pebbled cups. It’s warm and cozy and none of them would change a thing. 

When they arrive at home, Christopher fast asleep in the back seat after a long day. It’s unspoken as Buck scoops him into his arms and carries him to bed. He tucks him in, and his heart aches for a time when he was smaller. And it almost feels like there’s an ice pick in his chest as he closes the door behind him. 

There’s already a mug of steaming tea on the table when he finally finds the kitchen. 

The soft glow, the warmth, and the way Eddie has anticipated something drives the ice pick deeper, and Buck knows it shouldn’t- he doesn’t want it to. 

“But what if it goes right?” echoes in his head, resounding in his soul. 

Eddie just pushes the chair next to him out with his foot in silent invitation, as if the twin mug to his wasn’t enough. 

A few minutes tick by, the silence heavy. 

“You okay?” Eddie finally asks, setting his mug down, still holding it with both hands. 

“Jamie said something to me in the airport.” He’s staring into the depths of his mug so hard he could swear he can see the particles of honey, “He told me to go be Superman for my son.” He holds his breath, waiting for Eddie to deny him that- say something, anything to the contrary. And the silence returns. And Buck waits. 

But what if it goes right?” 

“Buck-” and he tenses, not just to brace himself for rejection, but because the way Eddie says his name when they’re alone is always too soft. 

“Hey, look at me,” Eddie says and it ‘s softer and even more delicate. He feels like he is 20 years old again as he finally tears his eyes away from the knot in the wood of Eddie’s table, that he already knows but studies anyway. “He is. Just as much as he is mine in all the ways that matter because that’s how he sees you.” 

“Oh.” and the icepick twists itself out of his heart, releasing the tears being held captive. 

And then Eddie is holding him. And he’s never felt more at home anywhere else. 

Neither of them know how long they sit there like that, but eventually the tears stop. And Buck finally notices that Eddie has been pressing a kiss on his temple at random intervals. And he thinks about how wrong it felt to be without him, how wrong to even pretend with anyone else it felt. 

“But what if it goes right?” 

And then he’s smiling into Eddie’s chest. He pulls away and just studies Eddie for a moment. The slope of his nose, and the warm brown of his eyes. The little freckle under his left eye. Taking a moment to memorize Eddie’s face before he is brave enough to say it all. 

“You’re kinda freaking me out here Buck,” Eddie says after a moment. 

“I don't need to buy a new couch,” is what comes out. and Eddie tilts his head a little bit and smiles- it reminds him of when Chris is reading over lego instructions the first time. 

“Oh” Eddie finally whispers when the pieces click into place. 

Buck reaches up and runs his fingers through Eddie's hair bringing his hand down over his jaw, and Eddie's breath hitches a little. 

“Cause you have one here, right?” he whispers. and Buck laughs softly because their son is down the hall asleep and nods. 

“Yeah I do,” and he moves so he’s practically in Eddie’s lap, and he’s holding Eddie’s face in his hands, a thumb resting over the little freckle. and Eddie’s hands are on his waist, thumbs resting above the waistband of his sweatpants and underneath his shirt. they’re a hair's breadth apart and their whole world is about to change forever. And Buck whispers, “don't think that this revelation gets you off the hook about your own spiral, Diaz.”

“Just kiss me you idiot.” Eddie whispers back. 

So he does. It tastes of honey and mint, with a hint of mozzarella and olives. 

It’s soft and gentle and not like the movies with desperation and the music swelling, it was just another night with Buck in Eddie’s kitchen, feeling right at home. 

[exhuastedpigeon]

Eddie's sitting closer to Buck than he's allowed himself since Buck came out - since Buck started dating Tommy. But Buck isn't dating Tommy anymore and Eddie came out to Buck fifteen minutes ago and now they're having conversation so intense that Eddie thinks he might need to go to an emergency therapy session after they're done. So Eddie's sitting closer to Buck than he's allowed himself to in over a month, but it feels too close and not close enough at the same time.

"What am I supposed to say Buck? That I lied when you asked me what I remembered about getting shot? That if I told you what I remembered you'd never be able to look at me the same way?"

"Eddie -" Buck starts, but Eddie cuts him off before he can say more.

"You want to know what I remember about that day? I got shot in the middle of the street on a sunny fucking morning in L.A. and as I was laying on the ground bleeding out I reached for you. I thought I was dying and all I wanted was to touch you one last time. Do you want me to tell you that I was bleeding out and all I could think was that I never told you how much I love you? Because it's true, it's true."

"W-why didn't you tell me after?" Buck sounds as broken as Eddie feels.

"I thought I did," Eddie says and he reaches over the empty space between them but doesn't close the gap. It's only a foot, maybe less, but it feels as wide of a gap as it had felt like while he was bleeding onto the pavement. "I gave you my son Buck. I gave you my heart."

The "oh" that leaves Buck's mouth sounds like a revelation and an accusation all at once. It sounds like 'you didn't tell me' and 'I didn't realize' and 'I wish I'd known sooner'.

But then Buck does close the gap between their hands, just like he had all those years ago while Eddie had lay dying on the street, saved by the same hands that cover Eddie's now. His blood forced to stay in his body with the same fingers that slot through Eddie's now.

Eddie lets out a breath he hadn't realize he was holding and his next inhale feels better than his first breath after leaving that well. It feels like breathing for the first time.

"I'm still in love with you," Eddie tells him, because it's the only thing unsaid between them. It's the only thing left to say.

"Yeah?" Buck's eyes are wet and Eddie realizes his are too.

"Yeah."

"Me too - I-I love you too. I think I have for a really long time actually. I just didn't - didn't realize what that feeling was."

[what-thisiscrazzzy]

Eddie: you’re in his kitchen kissing. I’m in his all queer family feud team. We are not the same

[deans-angel67]

Bruises and Surprises

Summary: When Eddie is acting off and then comes home late Evan and Y/N start to worry. But when they find out why he's been acting off, it causes some problems.

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x fem!reader x Evan Buckley

Wordcount: 2.5k

Warnings: angst, fluff, swearing possibly, mentions of violence and injuries

A/N: This was inspired by @megalony Late Night Fights. I hope you guys enjoy this, thank you for the support.

____

The four of them sat at Eddie's kitchen table that morning. Both Evan and Y/N had the day off, Chris was going over to a friends house for a sleepover today. And Eddie decided to pick up an extra shift at the fire house.

"You know you didn't have to take that shift Eddie." Y/N says as he pours coffee into a turmos mug. It was rare that the three of them had a day off at the same time. So naturally she was a little disappointed when Eddie said he chose to do an extra 12 hours.

"I didn't realize you were off today, I'm sorry mi amour." He says dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

"You got all your stuff ready Chris?" Chris nods at Eddie's question and then gets up to go grab his things.

"You know there's no harm in taking a day off right. I mean you've been working a lot lately." Evan pitches in concern evident in his voice. As he puts his mug down on the table.

"You should be taking better care of yourself Eds." She said putting a hand on her stomach, masking a slight discomfort that made it's appearance.

"You two are blowing this way out of proportion." Eddie had been acting off lately. He was shorter tempered and he had been picking up a lot of extra hours. He was tired and overall frustrated often. They were both a little worried. Y/N hadn't seen him act this way for a long time. She was getting really worried.

The last time Eddie had acted this way she ended up getting a call say that he needed to be bailed out of jail. But she hadn't seen any bruises or marks on him, maybe she was over reacting.

"Why don't you call in sick?" Evan proposed, only to receive a scoff from Eddie.

"I said I'd be there, Buck. Come on, Chris!" Eddie gave them both a quick kiss before his son finally entered the room. Y/N and Evan said goodbye to Chris and just like that the house became quiet.

"He's acting strange right?" She asked Buck, her hands wrapped around the mug as she stared at the dark liquid before glancing at him.

"Yeah, he is." Evan confirmed.

~~~

Y/N stood in the kitchen cutting vegetables for supper. Two hands made their way to her waist and then her front. Buck leaned his chin on her shoulder as she hummed along to the song playing.

"Why don't you go sit?"

"Babe, I'm fine." She told him pausing to look up at him, kissing him on the cheeks.

"You were sick all morning." He presses. She put the knife down and turned in his arms so she was facing him. Her hands came up to cup his jaw.

"I promis, I feel fine. Good even." She spoke softly giving him her full attention. He let out a sigh searching for something unusual in her features only to find nothing.

"You promis? And if you start to feel even a little off you'll go sit?"

"Yes baby, I promise." She gave him a sweet smile and a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, then let me help. What can I do?" Evan asked going over to the sink to wash his hands.

"You can take over cutting while I get started on the sauce." She took a pot out and placed it beside the one with water. They didn't get to cook together often. It was often Buck or Y/N never Eddie. They were scared they wouldn't have a kitchen by the end of it, or taste buds.

By the time everything was ready it was 8pm. Late compared to 'normal' hours but their schedule was so weird that they got used to eating at odd hours.

"Shouldn't Eddie be home by now?" Y/N asked looking up at Evan with worry.

"His call must have run late. It happens all the time." He reassured her wrapping a hand around her waist and hugging her, his head going down to her neck.

"We should wait for him."

They ended up eating an hour and a half later. Without Eddie.

It was 11pm when Y/N wanted to go to bed but was to busy paissing their living room.

"This can't just be a call Evan."

"Sweetheart-"

"Theres no way he has been on a call for over 3 hours!" He was also getting worried, he just didn't want to show it. It wasn't impossible, but another unit would have gotten there and they would have been able to go back to the station, and back home.

"Baby stop, please." He gently grabbed her arms stopping her movements.

"How about you go to bed-" she shook her head and open her mouth to protest but Evan stopped her.

"How about you go to bed and try to sleep, and I'll go down to the station and see what's going on." She let out a sigh, hesitating.

"Your exhausted and you have work in the morning, Sweetheart. I wasn't really asking." Evan made himself more clear. Her hands went to his biceps and his to her waist.

"Fine."

~~~

It was dark in the house when he came home. Using his hands to make sure he didn't run into anything.  When he reached the kitchen he turned the light over the sink on. He grabbed the first aid kit from the top of the fridge groaning from the pain it caused.

He took his shirt off letting it fall to the ground, he looked down spotting the dark bruises painting the various parts of his body. He took out some rubbing alcohol and cream setting them on the counter.

"Eddie?"

He turned around to find Y/N standing in the doorway of the kitchen. She was just about to fall asleep when she heard the front door.

"Baby where have you been? Why didn't you answer your phone?" She rushed forward only for her to stop a few feet away from him. A small gasp left her when she actually took the time to look at him.

"A call ran late, I'm sorry." He explained. She approached him gently running her fingure tips over a bruise on his stomach to which he winced.

"Eddie..." His name was spoken so softly he barely caught it.

"It was a rough one. It looks worse than it is, mi amour." He said, he put a hand on her arm trying to comfort her. But then she caught sight of his bloody and bruised knuckles. She took in a sharp breath standing up straighter. It all clicked in her head.

"You've been fighting again, haven't you?" She looked at him disappointment flooding her eyes.

"What? No, of course not." The slight hesitant in his voice told her otherwise.

"Edmundo, do not lie to me." She said angerly, tears welling up in her eyes despite her attempts to stop them. He took a deep breath closing his eyes and tilting his head slightly up.

He wasn't planning to do it again but a few weeks back an old buddy from back when he did illegal fighting contacted him. Said then needed someone because some guy left last minute. It was supposed to be a one time thing. But one turned to two, and two to three until it got out of hand.

"Baby-"

"Why!? Why would you possibly do that again?!" She was livid, rightfully so. She took a step back until she hit the kitchen island.

"It's complicated." He said looking back at her. Letting out a sigh, he didn't want to explain.

"Complicated? How could it be Complicated? This was in the past, we left it there, with the lawsuit, and the heartache and- and jail. We talked about this." 

"It's not the same. I'm careful I know what I'm doing." He tries to explain, but it wasn't good enough.

"You also knew what you where doing when you broke that guys nose!" She yelled, not hearing the front door over their arguing.

"That's not fair."

"Look at yourself!" He swallowed hard. He was littered with cuts and bruises. He knew he shouldn't come home looking like this.

"Eddie?" Evan stood at the other end of the kitchen, his voice caused them both to look over at him.

Y/N kept a concern look on her face but a weight on her shoulders was lifted knowing that Buck was home and okay, it was one less thing to worry about. Eddie seemed surprised, he though Evan was sleeping.

"Thank God, your okay. I've been looking everywhere for you." Evan drops his keys on the counter and rushed to hug his boyfriend. Y/N letting out a sigh and ran a hand through her hair.

Eddie inhaled sharply as Buck hugged him and winced. He returned the affection and then pulled away a little.

"Buck." It was strained and said through gritted teeth because of the pain. When he finally pulled away he got a good look at Eddie.

"What the hell happened?" He said anger in his tone. When no one answered he turned to his girlfriend for help.

"You don't talk about fight club right?" She said sarcasticly causing Eddie to roll his eyes.

"What?" Bucks face filled with confusing looking between the two.

"He's fighting again." She explained moving to the other side of the island to create space between her and the boys.

"What!? Why?" He turns to Eddie brows furrowed, he wasn't there when he did the fights in the past. Y/N was. He had heard of some of them from her, like the one where he broke a guy's nose so bad he choked on a piece of cartilage.

"Can we please not have this conversation again." Eddie felt like they were going around in circles, and it didn't help when his girlfriend just pick up the conversation where they left off when Evan arrived.

"They know what there doing as much as you do. How do you know how it's going to end? Next time it could be you, and they won't stay to help you, they'll leave you there." She didn't want to fight with her boys tonight, not with all the stress that she was under. Today was supposed to be a good day, and it only seemed to take a turn for the worst.

"Y/N-"

"She's right, I thought you were donne with it Eddie." Evan cuts in, concern and confusion evident on his face and in his voice.

"Apparently not." She muttered her hand rubbing her temple

"Do you know how much you scared us tonight?" Evan tried to make him understand. Y/N started to feel a slight discomfort, but she was unsure from what.

"I'm sorry." He really did feel bad, he knew he was extremely late. The missed phone calls and texts were unlike him.

He fished his phone from his pocket and set it on the counter. The screen was shattered and the back metal panel was missing a few pieces falling out of the phone as he sets it down.

"Eddie you can't start doing this again, I wasn't there when you did it before but Y/N told me it got pretty brutal." Evan explained his concern about his past, scared that it might repeat.

"Look it's just a few fights, and they help. I come home and I'm not angry or impatient." Eddie tried to reassure them but it wasn't working. He ran a hand through his hair.

"No, you come home bloody and bruised. Like thats any better." Y/N pitched back in sarcasm lassed in her voice. A hand going to her stomach now understanding where the discomfort came from

"Eddie you can't keep doing this, not after tonight." Evan almost pleaded.

"You don't get it!" He argued back, getting more frustrated by the minute. Y/N winced gripping the counter with her free hand.

"Then explain." Evan continued to try and reason with him but nothing seemed to work.

"I can't!" Eddie shouted, the two boys to engrossed in their argument to see the clear pain their girl was in.

"This isn't healthy, I though you talked about it with your therapist." Buck continued to try and understand.

"Evan-" He was cut off by Y/N.

"Uhh! Will you two stop!" She was hunched over, one hand still on the counter for support the other on her stomach. A pained look on her face.

"Y/N?" Eddie turned to her and took a few steps in her direction.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Evan was extremely concerned. He rounded the island and stood beside her placing a hand on her hip.

"You two are stressing me."

"Mi amour, that can't be stress." Eddie gently rubs circles into her back.

"Since when does stress cause you pain?" Evan asked, she stood back up straight.

"Since I've been pregnant."

They both look at each other, wanting to have confirmation they heard the same thing.

"Pregnant?"

"Baby, are you sure?"

"I was hoping for a little more excitement boys." She remarked.

"Okay, how about we get you to the couch?" Eddie spoke looking at Evan.

Once she was seated on the couch the boys sat on either side of her.

"How long have you known?" She looked over at Buck and took a deep inhale.

"A week." She leaned back until her back hit the couch and looked between the boy. Trying to see both their reactions.

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"I was going to, but you both have such a hectic work schedule that I was trying to find the right time. And then Eddie decided to work today so... This isn't how I wanted to tell you." She looked down at her hands in her lap.

She had spent so much time trying to plan the perfect moment. Tonight was gonna be it over some dinner the three of them. So they could figure out how to tell Chris together. But everything went wrong, it usually did with them. The execution was terrible, but the result was always good. Buck set a hand on her shoulder squeezing slightly to give her a little comfort.

"Where does it hurt?" Eddie asked concern painted on his face.

She looked over at him and set her hand on her lower stomach to show him. He reached over lifting her shirt a little and pressing a hand in different areas. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"I'm sorry baby." He apologized glancing between her and Evan. He hated that he had cause this. The stress and pain. He never wanted this to happen.

"It's just you two are constantly risking your life at work. I don't-"

"Hey, I get. I won't go to the fights anymore, I swear." Eddie stopped her to explain. He understood how much this meant to her to both of them. She gave him a small smile before it turned to a frown when she spotted Evan leaning down to be slightly above her stomach

"Now, you gotta stop giving trouble to your mom little guy." She let out a giggle running her hand in his hair only to lift his face and give him a kiss

"I don't think thats how it works Buck."