#even if their relationship started later in the books it would be insanely fragile and stem from a trauma bond and loneliness | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thecircularsystem · 5 months ago

Note

hi please infodump about Don't Starve Together please

[Let's try that draft again since it decided it wanted to crash. Twice now.]

OKAY SO THIS BITCH

IS A FUCKING IDIOT.

Putting the ramble under a cut because this is about to be long. The LORE of DST, as far as I am aware at this current moment in time:

The previously mentioned idiot, Maxwell, might be better called William Carter. I think Maxwell was a pretentious as fuck name to go with and that he could've done better. Anyways.

William Carter is a nervous, anxious wreck of a man, weak of body and fairly fragile in all honesty, who sailed to America from England in the early 1900s. He was trying to make his way as a magician, but it's very clear he wasn't very good to start. He was in debt and struggling. In 1904, he received a message from his brother, Jack, which seemed to suggest he should visit his young nieces, Abigail and Wendy Carter. More on them later!

William does, indeed, set out from New York to California to visit Jack, but is waylaid when the train he is on crashes in Nevada at the Old Mill Crossing. This crossing has had quite a few crashes in its time, rising to three with this latest, and it's only been about 30 years if my memory isn't mistaken.

The train crashes into a traveling circus who was crossing over the railroad when their elephant cart got stuck. In the crash, William ends up pinned under the rail car. The strongman of the circus -- Wolfgang -- attempts to lift the rail car up to help William escape. Wolfgang isn't actually all that strong (the circus was actually run out of their previous town due to Wolfgang's failure to truly lift the elephant without mechanical assistance), but suddenly he gains an obscene -- one could say... magical -- amount of strength.

In actuality, the book William was holding (known as the Codex Umbra) summoned shadow beings to imbue Wolfgang with strength. After the strongman hurls the rail car away, the strength fades, and the shadows return to the book. Terrified at the prospect of his secret being discovered, William takes the book and runs into the Nevada desert. A search party is formed to find him, but he is presumed dead.

However, William sends his brother, Jack, a letter to inform him that he is, in fact, alive, and has discovered a book that provides "terrifying possibilities" for his future -- and that he won't say more, just in case.

See, this is the part where anyone in their right mind would at least talk to their brother, right? Like. It seems like they have a fairly good relationship? But nope, William just. Fucks right off with his Very Clearly Dark Magic. The goddamn book you have is literally called the Shadow Code. Like buddy. Pal. That's some shady shit right there.

Instead, this fucking moron, instead of even just visiting his nieces for some quality, "Hey, I didn't fucking die, what a miracle" bonding, goes to California and starts a new magic show under a new name. Now I have to HOPE he visited Jack, but based on the dialogue in the game, he doesn't. So he takes the time to go to California and doesn't even bother to visit his family.

He's a massive dick!

So he starts a new magic show under a new name -- Maxwell -- and starts staying at one of the most expensive hotels in the area. He puts out an advertisement in 1905 for a female assistant for the show, which also costs quite a bit of money. Reminder, this man is now doing debt evasion.

Enter Charlie.

Charlie is Maxwell the Great's new assistant. It's clear she is in love with him; she refers to him as Maxy, signs off with a heart next to her name, and clearly dedicates a lot of time to the show. Maxwell, in turn, is studying the Codex Umbra with more and more... well, obsessive tendencies. It's clear he's scared of the shadow beings he's summoning and seeing, but he's also making bank with this new magic show. He and Charlie are pulling in larger audiences now.

Maxwell grows more and more distant -- and more and more insane. The Codex Umbra drains people of their sanity. He has a hidden room behind the fireplace where he starts scrawling on the walls. In an effort to understand why Max is growing so distant, Charlie investigates his home, only to eventually find the hidden study room. She runs in fright and leaves him a letter, revealing that she hasn't seen him in days. She suggests that, after that night's act, they get away for awhile, staying in the cabin her sister has offered to them.

Unfortunately, they don't get the chance.

That night, at their performance, Maxwell loses control of the shadow beings, and they reach out of the Codex Umbra and grab both him and Charlie. They're dragged into the book.

Fun fact: this sparks the Mother Fucking 1906 San Fransisco Earthquakes. Or, at least, this universe's version of them. Fucking nearly Magnitude 8 earthquake, all caused by some dude's need to be the coolest guy in the room. You could've had a hot date in a cabin with a cute girl, but noooo, you just had to pick up the scary magic book!

Anyways. Charlie and Maxwell now find themselves in the Constant, a world filled with otherworldly beings, and the same place where he's been calling shadow beings out of.

Now, the Constant is interesting. There seems to have been an ancient civilization there at one point, primarily living in the vast caves systems underground. Most notably, their civilization was seemingly destroyed after a reliance on Nightmare Fuel, which came from the shadow beasts. My personal theory is that they summoned the Fuelweaver, who has some very interesting things to say about the "threads" of the world. It also seems they worshiped the moon, which they called Alter.

Maxwell and Charlie find themselves in the Constant, and something... changes about the two of them. It's uncertain what happens. Charlie becomes the Night Monster -- a shadow being herself, with the ability to snuff out light with her shadow claws. Meanwhile, Maxwell ascends the Nightmare Throne, becoming the "king" of the Constant. This allows him to build and shape the world in his own design.

Time moves differently in the Constant, but years pass with Maxwell on the throne. During this time, Maxwell reaches back into the real world repeatedly to bring more people to the Constant. His reasoning for this is unknown, but it's clear he considers this to be some sort of chess game, and these people to be the pieces. Interestingly, a lot of different things happen during this time, and the timeline is a bit... hazy.

IN THE MEANTIME. There's this fellow named Wagstaff. And Wagstaff... is an asshole.

In the middle of Maxwell's final performance, Wagstaff is driving home from who knows where, and hears screaming in the theater, which sets off numerous earthquakes. He runs in, robs the people who are running for their lives, and then lets a man get crushed to death in order to save the camera he'd been operating. ... Dude. That's cold.

He ends up playing the reel of film, witnessing the events of the catastrophe and Maxwell being pulled into the Constant. But then, the reel shifts, and Wagstaff sees the Constant.

Needless to say, he loves it. It's clear that, at this point, Wagstaff starts trying to find a way to get into the Constant. Now, WAGSTAFF IS CONFUSING, because he's a playable character in Don't Starve, but not in the sequel game, and in the sequel, it seems like he's... not stuck in the Constant like everyone else? Essentially, Wagstaff seems to be projecting himself onto the constant, and never actually enters.

And yet, despite that:

Wagstaff creates the Voxala Radio, which is fucky wucky!

He creates a portal and is sucked into said portal, which destroys the Voxola factory.

Wagstaff gives a man a spider from the Constant, so he clearly is able to access it?

The character Wilson lives in what is implied to be Wagstaff's home, meaning Wagstaff isn't there. But...

Wagstaff later projects himself into the Constant to help with the Celestial Rifts?? Which would only make sense to be doing from a currently active portal, which would be Wilsons?

Anyways, Wagstaff makes no sense.

That brings me to the Survivors! Which is ALSO confusing and the timeline doesn't make any sense!

So, on one hand, Maxwell strikes deals with numerous people to bring them to the constant, or else just straight up drags them in himself. However, at that same time, Wilson makes a deal with Maxwell. Now, this is said by the Wiki to be happening in 1921. However, Wagstaff's Voxola factory burnt down in 1919, at which time, Winona was dragged into the Constant (I'll mention that a bit later). However, Wilson supposedly enters the constant before Winona does. So...

My theory is, the Grabbing Of The Survivor and the Appearance Of The Survivor happen on entirely different timetables, and Winona was just stuck in the void for a long while. Or, maybe, the Constant is doing some Fucky Wucky with the timeline. Or maybe, the Don't Starve (OG Game) characters were all pulled at various times, and the survivors of Don't Starve Together (sequel) only meet later after -- well, events happen, Charlie's involved, it's a whole thing.

Who knows. Klei clean up your lore.

ANYWAYS.

Rapid Fire real fast for other important members of the Survivors, the ones who were grabbed by Maxwell before Wilson.

Wigfrid. Maxwell appears to her one night when she is reliving her glory days as a star of the stage with musical talents. Maxwell promises to make her a star again, and she agrees to his deal.

Wes. Maxwell attempts to capture his old debtor, the one who tried to collect on his debts while he was still known as William. However, an unfortunate mime named Wes takes the debtor's place unintentionally.

Webber. A boy, whose name is unknown, is very sweet and kind. His dad clearly works closely with Wagstaff, who gives this guy a Mysterious Thing:tm: that the dad seems super obsessed with. The boy is jealous, gets upset, and finally is Bad:tm: and breaks the thing his dad is obsessed with. Turns out, it's a cage, and inside the cage was a spider from the Constant. The spider attacks the boy, uh. FUSES WITH HIM? And his parents run him out of the house because Weird Spider Creature, Aaah. I have no idea how Webber ends up in the Constant. Magic????

Wickerbottom. She's a librarian in New York who's been looking into shadow magic. Someone (cough Willow cough) sets fire to her library. Shadow Maxwell emerges to suggest she save the knowledge of the library, and then pulls her into the constant with all that she knows.

Willow. Everyone's favorite little arsonist sets fire to an orphanage! How fun. It's to kill her abusive caretakers tho, so it's fine. She also absolutely set fire to Wickerbottom's library. It's uncertain how Willow ends up in the Constant -- however, Willow also clearly has been touched by the Constant prior to entering, as she sees the Shadow Beasts as a child.

Winona. A hard working gal at the Voxola factory, when the fire happens, she makes sure others get out before she goes to investigate. She sees Wagstaff get sucked into the portal he created. So, she repairs the portal in an effort to get him back, only to see her long lost sister, Charlie, through the portal. Oh yeah, she's the one who offered for Charlie and Maxwell to borrow the family cabin as a getaway. Huh. Anyways, Charlie turns into the Night Monster version and grabs her and pulls her in.

Woodie. We know next to nothing about him. Going based on Walter's voicelines, Woodie is a Canadian logger who picked up a cursed axe and turns into a Beaver at the full moon. He's Catholic, allergic to grass, and based on Walter's introduction, it seems like Woodie was brought to the Constant via a Voxola similar to... well.

Wolfgang. The strongman. No idea how he ended up in the Constant.

Wendy. Yeah, that Wendy. Wendy Carter, Maxwell's niece. Her sister died. She started hearing music after Abigail's death, so... Maybe something to do with the familial connection to Maxwell?

WX-78. They used to be an assistant of Wagstaff's, human and all. However, they built themselves a robot body and transferred their consciousness to WX-78, a robotic form. They then kept building more robots, Wagstaff got salty, and destroyed them all. Then he somehow sent WX to the Constant.

Warly. IDK Fam, the Radio more than likely for him as well, but we know so little about him beyond he's really nice to his mom who has dementia.

Wanda. IDK Fam. Time travel broke reality.

Walter. MY BABYYYY-- anyways he gets stuck in the same trap Woodie did, like genuinely. It's literally Woodie's house. He also is not aware that he's in the Constant????

ANYWAYSSSSSSSSSS-

Let's focus on Wilson.

Wilson is a... sort of scientist. Nevermind the fact that he 100% set fire to his old university's chemistry lab. No way, no how, he set off to be his own scientist for his own reasons, that large bill chasing him is absolutely not the reason why.

Anyways, he now lives in this old, decrepit house with a fucking skeleton in it, why did you not report that to the police- Anyways, he tries to do a bunch of experiments and... fails miserably, honestly, it's kinda painful. Until suddenly, the Old Radio that he found hidden behind a locked part of the wall starts talking to him and is like "Ayyyyyy wanna make a deal with me?" And Wilson, like a fucking idiot, agrees.

Don't Starve Together is filled with fucking idiots.

Wilson agrees, builds a portal, and Beep Boop Yep fucking Constant for you BITCH.

THE CONSTANT ERA (aka this is where the original game fucking starts what the shit all of that was backstory and extra shit-)

So, none of the survivors have. Actually met each other in the Constant. After all, the multiplayer sequel hasn't been released yet! But Wilson is resourceful (and also like. The main guy you're meant to play as.) And he's going to survive, goddamn it! And he does, for a long while, though he does repeatedly die. Maxwell brings him back to life, taunts him a little bit, etc.

So, he goes through a few challenges and does his best to beat Maxwell's little games and things. And he... actually manages it?? I mean, canon ending of Don't Starve is "Player Win."

And yeah, turns out, Maxwell has been trapped on the Nightmare Throne for years. Hes' been listening to shitty gramophone music on loop. Wilson has to free him, at which point, Maxwell disintegrates, becomes a survivor (who I think gets called WAXWELL which... is so dumb) and Wilson takes the Nightmare Throne instead. It's like. Cyclical.

BUT THEN.

Charlie Don't Starve shows up.

She frees Wilson and yeets him back to the Constant, then she has a little DID moment (why the fuck does all the media I consume include plural-coded people, I don't do this on purpose), so the Charlie Good(TM) part of her and the Night Monster Bad(TM) part of her fuse into The Charlie Evil(?)(TM) version. And that version of Charlie takes over the Throne. Notably, I'm less certain if Charlie is bound to the throne like the others were, as she's seen walking around the Constant repeatedly.

At which point, Maxwell and Wilson run into each other and are like.

M: I am very sad and deserve all of the pain and suffering in the- W: Woah, cool, are you trying to make a portal out of here? COOL LET'S DO IT TOGETHER BUDDY OL' PAL. M: ..... I see. The torture continues.

(Genuinely Wilson doesn't like... like him but doesn't mind him. Maxwell just tolerates everyone.)

So they make a jury-rigged portal (literally called this in the game, I love it) which allows other players to cross into the Constant. However, Charlie immediately fucks with it and turns it into the Florid Postern which... Is super cute honestly? Charlie has a whole Stage Show theme going on in the world and everything is roses and white porcelain, which is a super interesting vibe. Slay, queen.

At this point in time, a bunch of the Don't Starve survivors come through the Postern. That would be Willow, WX, Wolfgang, Wendy, Wickerbottom, Woodie, Wes, Wigfrid, Webber, and Warly. We also have such lovely characters as:

Wormwood. My partner's main! He's a little flower guy who was born of a Moon Gem falling on some plants or some shit. He's BABY and he SMOTHERS HIMSELF IN SHIT TO HEAL. What's not to love?

Wortox. He is a prankster who just wants people to feel better about things I love him.

Wurt. BABY???? PRINCESS?????? I love her.

Wonkey. I have no idea anything bout this character and genuinely just think that this is just an April Fools thing???

SO ANYWAYS. AGAIN.

We get into the main Don't Starve Together gameplay, which has canonical lore. Which. You gave your multiplayer game a storyline involving characters that cannot be played in the storyline together with the limited--- OKAY okay also they made a musical at one point to commemorate DST, just throwing that out there, it's kinda funny.

So, the survivors work together and clearly survive for awhile together. There's definitely some animosity with Maxwell, but he's one of them now. At some point, however, I'm not sure where in the timeline this happens, but it's clear Maxwell is working with Charlie again. He has a bit of a dream sequence with her where she asks if he would like to be her partner again, and when he gets out of the dream sequence, his flower on his lapel is doing something a Little Odd? Soooo I think they're working together. BUT REGARDLESS.

The survivors decide to take down ANCIENT FUCKING FUELWEAVER TOGETHER.

(I tried to find a cool gif of Anicent Fuelweaver but tumblr's gif system sucks, so. Imagine a fuck all demon from the depths of hell who destroyed entire civilizations rising from the ground saying "Your world will be unraveled." TERRIFYING. Your honor I love him.)

And they... almost manage it. Which, stunning for a ragtag group of random ass people. Charlie swoops in to save Fuelweaver, which destabilizes the Ancient Gateway. However, they still make plans to fix it up.

At this point WINONA shows up in the Constant. Like I said, timeline do be fucky. I wonder how much Maxwell hates her because how she looks a little like Charlie. I wonder how much Winona knows about him.

At this point, Wickerbottom gets the Gateway started, which uuuuh sends the characters to various Events:tm: that aren't as big anymore (The Forge, the Gorge, etc). I think you can still do these events but they're not like. A highlight of the game. I wasn't around for the game when they were implemented. Regardless, they fight, they make food, they be merry. Then, when they return to the constant, a piece of the MOON FALLS OFF? Like it just falls straight into the ocean. So they row over to find an entire island made of Moon.

Now Walter enters the Constant! Again he has. No idea he's not in the real world. I love him. (He kinda does. But like. Baby.)

So Walter is vibing, chatting with other survivors. Meanwhile, there's a concurrent storyline of Winona, Wilson, and Maxwell exploring the moon shard caves, where they stick an iridescent Gem into the ruined whatever it is to power it. To those who know the games, this is the Ancient Archives, a very dangerous place in the cave systems that reveals knowledge to the players or whatever. IDK I literally just started playing in caves a few weeks ago lmao.

Activating the Ancient Archives also activates a whole bunch of sentries, forcing them to flee. Maxwell clearly recognizes whatever this place is, but that's not explained. Also, WInona catches a glimpse of Charlie, and Maxwell pulls her away so that they don't get caught up in the fighting/earthquakes.

After this, Charlie is seen taking some kind of evil shadow torch (called the Tragic Torch, apparently) to the Lunar Island, and she sucks up a bunch of little guys called Gestalt into it. She looks up to the sky with the now burning torch, looks at the moon, and oh yeah turns out the Moon is actually some sort of huge eye. Like looks like the ancient civilization was right, the Moon is something called Alter and it's a whole thing.

The Survivors band together to complete three Lunar Altars on the island, releasing some mysterious celestial energy that promptly makes everything FUCKING WILD. A Lunar Storm starts up, taking over whole swaths of the world they're in. The Moon reveals itself to be Alter, the Eye, and is clearly upset at the Survivors. During the storm, the survivors meet the projection of Wagstaff -- yeah, that fucker is back -- who requests their help for collecting electricity and energy from this area to study. They... do (wrong choice bad choice don't listen to the fucking evil scientist) and lo' and behold, this angers Alter, and it triggers the Celestial Champion to come down and destroy the device.

Meanwhile, Charlie seems to be in the Archives during this with some shadow beasts, and it seems like she's hurrying to do something?

And......

No, really, that's all that we have of the storyline so far!!! Which is an INFURIATING place to leave off. Personally, I'm of the theory that once Klei is done the skill trees, they're going to be doing something with the Ancient Portal setpiece in the archives that currently doesn't have anything happening with it? I'm wondering what happens if you combine Nightmare Fuel and Celestial stuff together.

Regardless.

I hope you enjoyed my lore infodump, I love you, thank you, goodbye.

Oh, TL;DR: All of the Don't Starve characters are absolute complete morons and I love them. The end.

#don't starve together #lore dump #info dump #LONG

10 notes · View notes

star-girl69 · 3 years ago

Text

I Loved You Like the Sun

a/n: ok i might be insane for this but i’m starting another series bc i need to get the daemyra x reader thoughts out. this first chapter focuses on rhaenyra and reader’s relationship, and in the next chapter daemon will come into the picture. i hope you all enjoy!!

(title is from “the moon with will sing” by the crane wives)

warnings: incest, swearing, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter One- Wait for Me

—-

You had begged and begged, pleaded with your father to reconsider. But his mind was set. You were to be sent to King’s Landing with your Septa, to find a husband.

You had no desire for a husband. Not yet at least. And you would be lying if you said that your eyes always had trouble choosing between the young knights and the handmaidens at your family home.

But you were a woman, not a man, and you lived in Westeros. You often thought about escaping to Dorne, where dalliances like that were more accepted.

But in Westeros, you would be considered nothing but a perverse woman, suffering from an aversion that was truly unholy.

Perhaps your emotions were shown on your face, because your Septa placed a hand on your knee.

She was a kind woman, and you had never had any problems with her.

“I’m sure you will find a kind husband, Lady Y/N.” The carriage rattled as you looked out the window, seeing the spiraling Red Keep rise above the rest of King’s Landing.

Her words did nothing to comfort you.

—-

The first few days at the palace were boring.

You thought that maybe a suitor would spark your interest, but none had. They were all superficial, caring only about status. But you wanted a man who could swoon you, and intelligent man. Recognize that, yes, you were a woman, but not condemn you for it.

You let out a sigh as Lord Tyrell kept talking. About grain shipments.

This was not the kind of intelligence you meant.

You sighed, looking over to your Septa. She was in the middle of poorly trying to hide a yawn, and saw your pleading gaze. She took pity on you, interrupting the poor man.

“Lord Tyrell, I apologize greatly for the interruption. But the Lady is looking quite faint. I fear it is time for us to retire.” You leaned back, very unladylike and put on your best pleasing face, putting a hand to your head.

“Oh, I fear I am. I am so sorry, Lord Tyrell.” He recovered quickly, nodding.

“Of course, My Lady. I understand. A woman has a fragile constitution.” You smiled through your disgust.

—-

Much later, your Septa had given you a few moments of piece in the library. After the horrible experience with Lord Tyrell, she felt bad. Giving you an hour to yourself was about the most she could do.

She could not save you from this cruel fate, could not take you away from this place.

No matter. You were happy, in this moment. The book you were reading, one about Old Valyria, interested you greatly. You leaned back in your chair, feeling yourself slip off.

You straightened at the sound of a palm smacking wood.

The most beautiful woman you had ever seen appeared around the corner.

Lilac eyes, silver-white locks, dark red dress that empathized every curve on her body. She seemed surprised to see you, and her eyes widened.

With a startling realization, you knew who this was.

The Princess.

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was sweet as honey, as smooth as rain. “No one usually comes back here. I- I was looking for this particular book…” She trailed off, eyes devouring you just as you were doing with her. “I don’t recognize you. Will you do me the honor of your name?” She stepped forward, almost eager.

You were so stunned but her beauty, even more surprised that she cared to know your name, that your voice came out in a horrible stutter.

“L-lady Y/N, Your Grace.” You cringed inwardly, finally tearing your eyes away from her.

“No need to be nervous, Lady Y/N. I am only the Princess.” You let out a laugh. A true laugh. No fake flattery stained your voice, as it usually did when talking to suitors. It was the first time you had truly laughed in days. She smiled at you, before her gaze narrowed. She stared at the book in your arms, and you priced together in your mind what was happening.

“W-was this the book you were looking for? You can have it if you want. Your Grace.”

“Call me Rhaenyra. And, no. You had it first. It wouldn’t be fair of me to take it from you.” You smiled awkwardly, unsure of what to do under her burning stare.

She was truly a Targaryen. Fire made flesh. And her burning hot gaze reflected that, lighting a fire deep in your stomach.

“Would you mind if I sat with you, Lady Y/N? I’m quite cold, and your chaise is closest to the fire.”

Oh, Gods. She was going to sit next to you. Rhaenyra Targaryen, the most beautiful woman you had ever seen, who was staring at you like she wanted to eat you whole, was going to sit next to you.

“Of course. Your- Rhaenyra.” She smiled at your correction, and you eagerly moved to make space for her. You noticed she sat quite close to you, a random book having appeared in her hands.

But you paid that no mind, not even daring to dwell more on her. Developing a crush on the Princess was about the worst thing you could do.

You felt her presence next to you so strongly, so vividly, but forced yourself to push it away. The mere idea of Rhaenyra being anything other than friendly towards you was simply unbelievable. You doubted she liked women in the first place; and even if she did- she would never like you.

It was a while later before she spoke, her words acting like knives and puncturing the comfortable silence.

“Would you read to me, Y/N? Your voice is so lovely. I wish to read that book, but it would hurt me to pull you away from it. Please?” Her voice was calm, cold, and calculated. You had no doubt she was playing you like a violin.

“Of course, Rhaenyra.”

—-

“How did you sleep without me?” Her voice was the same as it had always been, sweet like honey and smooth like rain. You would never forget the sound of it.

“Terribly. I always get nightmares this time of year.” Her lips formed a pout, and she traced invisible lines on your arm.

“I would have brought you with me if I knew.”

“We can’t draw any attention to ourselves, Rhaenyra. You know this.” She leaned forward, placing a quick kiss on your lips.

“Is it so wrong for me to want to ignore that?” She smiled, but you heard the sadness behind her voice.

It had been six months since you had first met her, five since she had made you her Lady-in-Waiting, granting the two of you a bit more time together. Four since she had drawn you into her bed, with sweet kisses and promises of a forever together.

“They will not be able to stop us. Syrax is very fast, you know. We will cross the Narrow Sea, and I will never have to be deprived of hearing you read to me again.”

But now she was just here with you. Each laying on your sides, you placed your hands on her chest, fingers gracing the base of her throat. Her hand traces invisible lines on your arm.

You shut your eyes, letting your Rhaenyra take you in, hungry after being deprived for so long.

She had been forced onto some trip with her father, to somewhere you didn’t bother to remember. Not now that she was here with you. She was back, she was yours, and in this moment you didn’t care about anything else.

“My sweet girl,” Rhaenyra murmured, trailing your face with her finger. “I don’t think I can ever stay away from you. You’ll always just be in my heart.”

You hummed in approval, and she let out a small laugh. Her sweet girl.

She was hit with the sudden realization that you will not be hers for much longer.

“Let me hold you.” It might be the last time.

Your father has grown tired of you being unmarried, electing to betroth you himself. In a few weeks, you would be wed to an old, fat man from a small house in the Riverlands. So far away from her.

You shifted forward, pressing your face into the crook of her neck as her arms wrapped around you.

“Do you think you’ll have nightmares tonight?”

“No. Not with you here. Not with my Rhaenyra here.”

—-

The next morning, you were greeted with the sun’s rays shining down on you. The bed was cold and empty, Rhaenyra having put pillow under your head. It was a cheap replacement for her, but would suffice.

She exited the bathroom a few minutes later, moving the pillow and greedily tucking you back into her.

“Can’t stay away for long?”

“No. No, I can’t.”

The morning continued with a relative peace, until she spoke again.

“You’re leaving today, aren’t you?”

You hadn’t want to tell her. Maybe it was selfish, but you wanted one more day with her.

“I’m sorry,” you felt the tears fall, but couldn’t care. She guided you to sit up, holding your face in her hands. “I just wanted one more day with you. We both knew this was coming, but I- I just needed this. I don’t think I can live without you, Rhaenyra.”

“Shh, my love. I’m glad you didn’t tell me. I wanted this last day with you as well.” You shut your eyes, and she pressed kisses all over your face. “You will live. You’ll live, you’ll bide your time. I’ll come save you.”

You let out a dry laugh. “I love you, Rhaenyra. But how could you possibly do that?”

She drew you into a hug. “Wait for me. Please.”

“Rhaenyra,” you whimpered, not even needing to say it. Of course you would.

“I’ll save you,” she whispered, whether to herself or you, you did not know.

—-

You left her chambers with a tear stricken face. You spent the day locked in your rooms, not trusting yourself or Rhaenyra to run back to each other.

Your father came to collect you. You seemed to move in slow motion.

You snuck away to her chambers, found her in a mess of books and papers and a random hairbrush. Things she had thrown about her room in a rage.

You kissed her goodbye.

You pulled away. Told her you loved her. She told you that she loved you more than anything, and she would be living her life with a mess of flesh in her chest that belonged to you.

You left, and looked back.

She started at you with those bright purple eyes, and a flushed face. Her fists were clenched. This might be the most beautiful she had ever looked.

You were married the next day.

—-

#daemon x rhaenyra #rhaenyra targaryen x reader #rhaenyra targaryen #daemon targaryen x reader #daemon targaryen

295 notes · View notes

embrassemoi · 4 years ago

Text

Surrounded by the Moon and Stars • 13

Pairings: Sirius Black x [F]Reader, Remus Lupin x [F]Reader Content: Language, possible errors, angst, descriptions of violence, CW: abuse Author’s notes: To any readers that began reading before April 14th, I went back and edited sbtmas. I suggest re-reading, but you don’t have to.

Masterlist: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter 13: Sympathy for The Devil

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

It took less than an hour for Sirius’ already fragile world to shatter into irreparable pieces.

The blasting of loud Muggle music blared all through his room, the heavy bass and electric guitar riffs shook the walls and thumped into his ears and heart. Andromeda had bought him an abundance of new albums for Christmas and they served as his only escape from the shithole he was currently in.

Sirius felt like he was going mad, like he was stuck inside an insane asylum.

Bopping his head, Sirius plopped himself down on his bed, nonchalantly flicking through sections of the Daily Prophet, hoping to take his mind off of things for a while. He caught up on the latest Quidditch stats and upcoming games and saw a few ads that he would make sure to cut out later. There was one for a new Wizard Chess game Peter might like and a discount for some old hardcover books Remus might enjoy.

Sirius had been incredibly stressed since the beginning of the year. Orion and Walburga had repeatedly pushed their Pureblood ideals onto him non-stop with immense pressure to carry out the family legacy, whatever that entailed.

Their belittling intensified and his anger didn’t have time to subside. Every day felt like a constant circle as he rotted away in his room. He would wake up, sit slumped over an expensive wooden table for breakfast, lunch or dinner while Walburga scolded him for his poor manners, constantly reminding him of how pathetic he was before swiftly comparing him to Regulus who stared down at the table. Then, he’d go for a walk around Islington before locking himself in his room until dinner and the circle would repeat. They’d been a lot harsher on him, and he could only think of a few theories as to why. Matters were worse as his relationship with Regulus deteriorated into thin air; never had Sirius held so much animosity and sadness when it came to him up until this point. It was hard to connect with him again and he probably never will. All he did was avoid Regulus as much as he could. Either brother would misunderstand or become unreasonably defensive, besides, Regulus was an intransigent prat; there wasn’t a single backbone in his body. Although, there were times where Sirius found himself reminiscing about when they were younger before squishing the thought down immediately.

That was a long time ago.

But over the past couple of days, Sirius immediately could tell something was off. He couldn’t place the feeling, but it felt like the air around him shifted as Walburga oscillated between tolerating him to even being amiable. She’d even force an odd expression at him, resembling some sort of smile onto her face all the while he was dressed in Muggle clothing, talking about Muggle things and even mentioned his blood-traitor friends. Were they turning over a new leaf? It greatly unnerved and made him feel uncomfortable, but most of all suspicious.

Sadly, his musical bubble popped as Kreacher banged on the door, revealing himself before wincing at the loud bass. “Master Sirius,” his scratchy voice called for the third time that night, attempting to out-scream the music, “Mistress has requested for you to come down for dinner!”

“Shut the fuck up, Kreacher!” Sirius yelled back, frowning. He ought to start locking his door more often. Hopefully, he could find or create a spell that would only open on his command. He’ll just ask Moony once the break was over, he always knew all the answers. “Tell that old hag that I’m not hungry!”

“Mistress insists!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned out loudly. This was never going to stop until he came down, was it? “Argh! Fine! I’ll be down soon — get out!”

He walked towards his music player and lifted the needle, watching as the record slowly came to a stop. As the stupid house-elf left, Sirius caught onto the few words that he spewed before leaving, “Dragging the noble house of Black through the mud, associating with mudbloods. Mistress is right…”

Kreacher’s words infuriated him, so he slammed the door shut in his face. At the very least, his parents were never secretive about their disdain for Muggleborns. They never lied and were always upfront about their Pureblood mania, unlike this grovelling, pathetic little house-elf. For Godric’s sake! Besides, he had no room to talk! If he had the heart to do it, Sirius would have already thrown Kreacher into the fireplace in his living room and watched as he ignited into balls of flame.

Sirius then made his way to his door before throwing one last look to his messy room, a smirk arising. When Kreacher first told him that Orion and Walburga were holding another Pureblood party, Sirius chalked it up to another one of those stuffy parties like always and was determined to stay up in his room for as long as possible before wreaking havoc. So, he dressed clad in all Muggle clothing and wore a long leather jacket with thick fur-lined padding to keep him warm during the winter. Hung above the tall posters of his bed was a large Gryffindor flag as black and silver robes, branded with the infamous Black emblem, sprawled neatly on his bed. It was untouched until he picked it up and threw it onto the floor. For as long as he could, Sirius would continue to shatter their carefully crafted reputation one day at a time while basking in the feeling.

On multiple occasions, Walburga said that this dinner, in particular, held great importance that the other parties didn’t have previously. But it was another lie, he heard the same excuse for years as an attempt to get him to be proper. But on the slim chance that she wasn’t lying, Sirius wanted to break as many rules as possible tonight.

Rules were always meant to be broken, anyway. That’s what the marauders always said.

Sirius kept his door wide open, making his way towards the staircase. If any of the invitees were to come by and cross his room, which was in the same direction as the loo, they would see the half nude Muggle girls on his wall. He stuck up another two just for good measure. These ones were the most obscene ones he had; the women's breasts were pushed together with their hands, wearing tight knickers a few sizes too small for the models. For a finished look, he made sure to charm them with wandless magic, animated them to move, then headed down the staircase and into the main room. Surely, it would cause one of those old geezers to faint on sight.

Posh clothing, expensive food that would all go to waste by the end of that night, loads of house-elves carrying heavy trays and Purebloods flooded the hall as they were invited to the Black mansion for their annual New Year’s eve party. Any Purebloods Sirius could think of at the top of his head were there: the newly wedded Malfoys, Crabbles, Lestranges, Greengrass’. Notts and Rosiers. Not surprisingly, Uncle Alphard and Andromeda’s presence were missing.

Bloody hell, how was he going to get through this night?

He strolled into the grand living room, making his usual over the top entrance. Everyone was dressed in traditional clothing: long petticoats and conservative dresses. In the middle of the room was an odd, ritual-looking carpet and their ancient-looking dining table. Sirius’ eyes darted momentarily towards Regulus who was playing the violin, entertaining the guest as Walburga stood there, a large smile on her face as she applauded him. Bellatrix stood beside her, a horrid laugh erupted from her lips as the cackling reverberated. There was a crazed, deranged look in her eyes.

She purred loudly enough so that the other guest would hear, “Oh! The Dark Lord will be thrilled to hear that Sirius has finally come around. He would have loved to see his initiation tonight, but he was…”

Sirius blinked once, twice, three times as he stood there frozen. Heart dropping, his brain trammelled and eyes jumped from person to person, tuning all the chatter and sounds as his head swarmed with white static. He was stuck on one word; initiation. A light pounding began to intensify, manifesting into a headache as his brain ran a mile a minute trying to decipher what was happening before the window closest to him caught his eye. Outside, the light reflected on the surrounding surface illuminated a delicate glowing green.

Everything was starting to piece itself together. That's why everyone was being freakishly nice, they were attempting to swindle him into an allegiance to Voldemort.

One thing was for certain that if Orion and Walburga were plotting his initiation into the Death Eater ranks tonight, Sirius was going to be long gone before the ceremony started.

Out of the corner of his eye, Regulus saw him withdraw back up the stairs in a hurry as his mother politely exited and then retreated after him. Her shoes clicked loudly against the wooden floors, clearly annoyed. Regulus only caught a glimpse of Sirius’ clothing — very obvious Muggle clothing.

Sirius began walking faster before breaking out into a sprint in the direction of his room. He had no plan; his parents took his wand at the beginning of the break and the only thing he had for transportation was an old broomstick. Sirius thrashed his head around, sweat starting to form as pure adrenaline followed through every vein. Walburga’s stomping could be heard clearly as she caught up to Sirius; Orion hot on her tail.

His room rattled as Walburga slammed the door behind her. “I told you to stop dressing like that! Don’t you dare embarrass us now! Stop pretending to be a fool. You will uphold your title as the Heir! It’s your born duty!”

How many times did he have to say no for them to get it through their thick skulls? Regulus seemed to be their softer version of themselves, surely they could’ve passed the title onto him by now. “I am not getting that mark!”

Walburga’s eyes bugged out in rage, “Blood-traitor! It’s time to choose your path. We’ve given you chance after chance to stop mingling with those mudbloods —”

“Don’t call them that!”

“You mudblood lover —”

“I said don’t call them that!

Her face reddened, a large vein popped on the side of her neck that was visible from the high, tight bun she wore. “Mudbloods! You associate yourself with mudbloods! You’re following in the footsteps of those filthy blood-traitors you’re so fond of. Those Potters! And that dirty half-blood! You could’ve achieved great honour and greatness to our name!”

“SHUT IT! BITCH!” Sirius was so full of rage that it clouded his better judgement.

“HOW DARE YOU RAISED YOUR VOICE AT ME! HOW DARE YOU SPEAK AGAINST US?!” Walburga’s voice was so high-pitched and loud that it travelled downstairs. Regulus faintly heard the familiar shrieks and stopped playing his violin, making his way up to Sirius’ room. As he opened the door, Regulus remained silent as he took a few steps to become closer with his brother. Nobody seemed to mind his presence, aside from Sirius.

Sirius scoffed in his direction and felt Regulus step on his shoe a few times, attempting him to stop. Sirius shook him off and held his head as Walburga continued to approach him. Her wild movements almost made him flinch but not once did he take a step back. The murderous look in his eyes managed to further enraged her as his fist was curled tightly, his chest heaved up and down. His throat already felt sore from the screaming.

“This family is absurd! You crone —” Sirius was cut off. He tried to open his mouth but no sounds came out. Orion had a sickening smirk. A hand flew to his neck, rubbing it as if it would’ve given him the ability to speak again. They’d used a silencing spell.

“Do not talk to your mother like that,” Orion spoke for the first time.

“You horrid — foul — low-life —” Without a second, Walburga brandished her wand and pointed it directly at him. For a second, Sirius flinched, his fear now showing and he saw the joy it sent through his parents.

“CRUCI —”

Sirius braced himself to be hit by a bright light. A part of him was surprised, they have never gone this far to punish him. His eyes fluttered closed, just for a second and waited for the curse to hit him, but nothing came.

Bravely, he opened his eyes. Regulus had stepped in front of him, blocking Walburga. Her wand dug deep into his skin, tightly pressed against his neck as the word was threatening to spew from her lips. There was a long silence that swept through the room, the only thing that could be heard was heavy, ragged breathing.

“Move this instant or you’ll be next,” Orion snapped. Although, everyone knew it — Sirius, Regulus, Walburga, Orion and all the guests downstairs knew that it was an empty threat. They would never lay a hand on Regulus, let alone use a spell of that calibre. Sirius scoffed involuntarily before he could even register it.

“Mother, please put your wand down. Sirius has done… inexcusable things and his actions will be accounted for, but I beg you, on my behalf, to please let me bring him back to his senses.”

Walburga’s eyes looked deep within Regulus’, her eyes filling with a rare kind of love and softness that Sirius once craved so deeply for. Regulus continued to plead with his parents until she lowered her wand gradually and Regulus stepped away once it was no longer directed at either of them.

“End of story.” Orion threatened, “You will get this mark. The utter disgrace you’ve become is unbelievable. Get dressed, we’ll meet you downstairs.”

They made their way out of the room and slammed it shut, leaving Regulus behind with him. Sirius felt his voice return to him and coughed meekly to test it.

Sirius had never been one to listen to the rules, he shined too brightly to ever be dimmed like that. He would rather die than get that mark. He rushed over to grab a bag that had an extension charm on before shoving any belongings inside: money, clothing, albums and anything that held some sort of importance or value.

Regulus watched as he paced throughout his room until Sirius came to a stop and looked him directly in his eyes. Sirius wasn’t quite sure what made him do it; maybe it was a last-ditch effort or that the years of love and care for Regulus resurfaced again, but he spoke.

“Come with me.”

Regulus’s eyes widened as he took in what he said. It was the first time Sirius had spoken to him in years that didn’t sound remotely angry. “What?”

“Reg, I’m giving you a chance to leave this hell hole and come with me.”

He felt his mouth gape as he stared at his older brother, almost in disbelief, “I managed to buy you some time but don’t expect that they would ever forgive you after this! Please, just sit down and think —”

“I’m giving you a chance! You can escape with me, just give me the word and the Potters will have us both. I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

“We have to uphold our title, even if we don’t like —”

“Do you hear yourself right now? Don't make yourself look like a fool,” Sirius snapped. “Ask yourself this: are you willing to kill your Muggleborn classmates just because of their blood? Are you willing to tear lives away? This isn’t a game, you’ll be killing babies, Regulus, babies! Merlin! It wouldn’t stop there, it would be children, teenagers, adults! Are you willing to have that weight on your shoulder?”

Regulus felt himself bite down on his tongue and the taste of metallic filled his mouth, swallowing it down. “It’s not that simple and you know that.”

Sirius growled at that, his eyes glossing over from pleads to anger. “It is if you come with me.” He desperately searched his eyes for any kind of sign of a waver in judgement.

“I — I can’t —”

Yes! A blossoming feeling of hope lunged in him. There was a flicker in his emotions! Maybe he was finally seeing the truth.

“Yes, you can! Reg, please listen to this once, we can get out of here. We can both be happy and be brothers again! Don’t you miss it? I know I do!”

Regulus’s eyes cast downwards, staring at his feet. He wanted to look anywhere but at his brother. “We need to think about this more, maybe if you calmed down —”

“I’ll never forgive you if you don’t,” Sirius tried to use a different tactic, pushing even harder, “I’ll never talk to you again. Don’t be a coward, don't be soft, not now. Please, Regulus — I’m begging you!”

“You can’t leave! I-I’ll get them to push it off, so you don’t have to get it! You can’t go! It’ll kill me if you do! Please, Sirius, you have to understand where I’m coming from!”

Shit, he wasn't going to listen no matter what he said. Sadly, Sirius’ head hung, his body closing off. “I can’t be on a leash anymore.”

The two brother’s eyes met, Regulus remained quiet. Typical.

Sirius continued, “It’s killing me to stay.”

Unexpectedly, Sirius made a move neither expected. He crossed the room, unable to stop his body and looked directly into his brother’s eyes before pulling him into a tight, bone-crushing hug. Regulus’s head fell into the crook of his neck as he pressed his forehead on the top of his head, inhaling as he smelt the minty smell of his brother’s cologne mixed with the lavender scent of his shampoo. He tried to commit it to memory. Regulus had made his bed and the last moment he wanted of his brother was to be a happy one. The hug filled with a mix of unspoken love, fear and disagreement and they both felt it. It was a moment of false brotherly bliss that he would milk every second from. The strong sense of deja vu hit them and it felt like they were twelve and eleven again. Neither pulled back for a while.

This was a more effective punishment either had ever received.

Ever so quietly, as if there were eyes and ears in the walls, Regulus whispered softly into the shell of his ear, “I love you, brother.”

Sirius pulled back, only nodding stiffly. He couldn’t say it back.

“Please stay —”

“You know I can’t.” Sirius’ eyes were slitted and he shook his head.

In that moment, Regulus wondered if that’s all he’ll ever be to him, another slimy Slytherin.

He wiped his tears harshly. The thick material of his tux rubbed hard against his skin that left a small burning sensation. “Your wand is in their room, in the drawer beside their bed.”

His eyes were filled with unshed tears that threatened to escape. “If you know what's good for you, you’ll leave too.”

His tone was cold, so harsh that Regulus felt himself jump back a bit. Sirius grabbed his broom before walking to his door. He almost turned back. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t.

Perhaps he was the coward.

With a heavy heart, he tip-toed his way down the corridor and walked towards Walburga and Orion’s room. Their door opened with a soft click and Sirius whipped his head back to see if anyone was coming by. When it was clear, he ran towards the drawer and opened it. The familiar dark oak, almost black wood laid there and Sirius almost cried out of sheer relief. He picked up his wand again and felt the wood warm into his hands. Closing his eyes, feeling the magic surge through his body and channelled it into the wand. The calming sensation gave him a much needed confidence boost before shoving it into his back pocket and bolted towards the window, successfully popping open the latch.

The cool breeze was a sharp divergence from the burning of his skin. He mounted his broom and was about to push off but hesitated. He looked outside again, this time laking in the surrounding environment. The same green light illuminated the snow. His eyes continued to hop around before eyeing the reflection in the pond outside; the Dark Mark hung above their house.

Sirius’ body felt a shock wave dumped on top of him that was more effective than any ice-cold bucket of water. Someone was dead. They killed someone.

He cursed under his breath, running his hands through his black hair and tugged down harshly. This wasn’t happening — there was no way this was fucking happening.

Too distracted by his realization, Orion came from behind him and swished his wand, causing Sirius’ broom to fly out from under him and out the window. Orion grabbed him by the wrist in a bone-crushing, vice grip that Sirius swore he heard something crack. He tried to fling his hand off, but it only made his grip tighter. Orion drew his hand back and threw a punch to the side of his face, stunning him. His back slammed into the wall behind him as the searing pain spread through his head. Soon enough, there was a sticky, thick liquid that dripped down his head. Using Sirius’ muddled state to his advantage, Orion dragged him down the stairs and into the living room.

Guests were staring as Orion announced that he tried to flee. He flung him into the middle of the room as Sirius stared at a woman that now laid dead on the dining table. He tried to look away, but he couldn't do it. Her eyes were glossed over and there was a large gash that ran down the side of her face. That woman looked almost exactly like Marlene.

Marlene...

The very notation made Sirius sick immediately as he felt bile rush up and threw up onto the ground. Everyone around was laughing before flocking towards him like vultures. He briefly caught Regulus’s eyes. He looked so scared.

He muttered out no after no. He didn’t know what to do. He wanted to move, to scream, to hit someone or something but his feet were rooting in place in fear. His mother’s voice thundered around before cornering him close to the fireplace. Bellatrix could be heard encouraging Walbugra as she raised her wand to him again, pointing it directly in front of his face. He heard the faint screams of Regulus, even Narcissa asking Walburga to stop. He barely registered the curse coming from her mouth.

He inhaled and felt it hit him.

Sirius’ entire body felt like it was on fire as his body fell limp to the ground. His body convulsed, shaking and gasping for air. His blood felt as if it was boiling to the highest degree and that his guts were infused with molten lava. His horrible screams ricocheted off the walls as Regulus could be overheard wailing for Walburga to stop. Orion simply stood over his body as silent participation in his mother’s tyranny.

His body was paralyzed. He could hear everyone shouting at him, but he couldn't process a lick of it. He caught onto words like prove yourself, dignity, swear his allegiance. He choked out no after no, even if the constricting of his lungs grew tighter and tighter. Bellatrix was off to the side, and from what he could see, a large tattoo marked her arm; a snake and skull - the Dark mark. He could hear her go on about choosing his fate and that it was time to choose it.

It was barely a moment, a fleeting one in which Walburga stopped as she exerted too much power in one spell. Sirius coughed out blood and felt the world around him clear from the overbearing darkness that stuck as soon as the curse hit him. As she breathed in, ready to send another curse through his body, Sirius coughed a bit, feeling the sticky feeling of blood arising from his mouth and nose. His head pounded as he crawled to the fireplace, his bag still somehow was slung over his body. His chest heaved up and down. In a swift motion, he pulled out his wand and used it to brace himself as his father cast another Crucio. His little power did nothing as he fought his father off. A gleaming red light and blue met each other. As the Cruciatiats curse began to overpower him, Sirius made his way to grab a handful of Floo powder. The jar felt off the table and he only managed to grab a small amount as the rest sprayed all over him. Realizing what was happening, Regulus yielded his wand and fired Expelliarmus at Orion, giving Sirius enough time to fall into the fireplace and yelled, “To Potter Mansion!”

Sirius decided not to look back, he didn’t need to glance around the room to face them. They never were his family anyway.

❉───────•~❉•᯽•❉~•───────❉

It was a quiet celebration as the Potter family got ready to toast to the new year.

Euphemia and Fleamont kept kissing each other, looking like a teenage couple. They’d use the excuse that it would be their last kiss in 1975, but James knew better. Lairs. James stuck out his tongue, disgusted as he sipped on his non-alcoholic beverage and averted his eyes.

James could hardly contain his excitement, though. All he could think about was all the new pranks he had in store and all the Quidditch strategies he wanted to try the upcoming games. And maybe, just maybe he could successfully charm Lily enough and she’d finally say yes to his pursuits.

He pondered, thinking what else he could improve on. His looks were there, along with his magical abilities and great sense of humour. He knew multiple languages, was raised as a gentleman, knew how to make a mean spaghetti and meatballs, was great at Quidditch and had a pretty cool and extensive rock collection. They were sparkly, women like sparkly things, right? He was the entire package.

Maybe it was time to move on, he thought to himself. He did flirt with that one Hufflepuff before the break. That was fun.

Oh, he couldn’t wait to see Remus and Peter! They were planning to come around nine o’clock to spend the day with each other, have a nice sleepover before heading to Platform nine and three quarters the next day. His mind then reeled to Sirius, he hoped he was okay. It was a shame he couldn’t send an owl to him. Stupid Black family, always reading his letters…

He wondered if Remus liked his gift. He loved the sweater he made him, the soft wool on his skin made him feel a sense of fuzzy joy. The white sweater fitted him like a glove. Then James thought about Peter, did he like his gift? Then, like a ripple effect, his mind drifted to Y/N. A part of him wondered if his gift to her was a little much, but he thought it was the perfect mix of Muggle and magic together.

James smiled to himself, life was good. He was chuffed and felt relaxed for once. He looked around his house and the nice house-elves that roamed his house, cheering for the new year as well as they hugged. His parents, on the other hand, were laughing lightly, a soft deep chuckle rang from his father and a happy sigh from his mother comforted him. James was lucky to be filled with so much love and a rush of joy flooded him.

All was well until he was pulled away from his happy thoughts when a loud thud echoed throughout their living room. The portraits hung gasped and screamed.

The Potters snapped their heads towards their fireplace. Instead of the normal red and orange, green flames crackled in the air as a body shot out from it and thumped to the ground. Laying on the ground, curled into a tight ball was his best friend. In an instant, James ran to Sirius as he yelled for his father to grab a first aid kit. His mother rushed along with him.

All of James’ previous thoughts vanished, along with any critical thinking skills. His entire mind went blank as he stared at Sirius. He looked roughed up but it was hard to decipher his current state.

He had never seen Sirius so small before.

He scanned for any major injuries and took note of his limp wrist and bleeding nose and head. Sirius could hardly mutter out a word, his voice hoarse and he was about to pass out. The only thing that came from his mouth was a strained groan.

James pulled Sirius into his arm, sliding one to cradle his neck and head while taking a hold of his shoulder to steady him. With the help of his mum, they managed to lay him delicately on their leather couch, Sirius’ blood seeping into it, staining the light brown couch a dark maroon.

In the background, he could hear the clock struck twelve, signalling the new year.

His mother quickly did a full scan of Sirius and patched him up with magic before getting up to call a Healer and Dumbledore.

They came in less than a couple of minutes. The distant crack outside alerted the family of their arrival. The Healer frantically bandaged Sirius to the best of his abilities before dousing Potions down his mouth. A mind Healer was also present to check for any brain damage. No lasting damage they said. Then, his body was transferred into a spare bedroom that Sirius often used whenever he stayed at the Potter’s. Dumbledore spoke hastily with his parents as James stayed with Sirius.

James paced back and forth as he watched his best mate’s body in the bed. Sirius was asleep, far too exhausted. He felt his blood boil and swore he turned bright red. James covered his face with his hands, feeling empty.

Immense guilt settled its way into his heart, the unbelievable amount of shame and guilt ate away at him. He let this happen. James let this happen. He knew that something wasn’t right and willingly let him go back into such a nasty household. He should’ve pushed harder to persuade Sirius to stay with him.

The Cruciatus curse, that's what the Healers and Dumbledore said.

He wanted to jump on a broomstick and fly down to the Black Manor and set the entire place on fire. He knew a great deal of spells that would land him a one-way ticket to Azkaban.

James caught himself in the nearby mirror. The white sweater Remus knitted him was now splattered with Sirius’ blood. It made him feel itchy and suddenly he began to panic. He gripped it off before pulling on a different sweater. His hands shook, tears filled his eyes as he pulled it off his head. Shakily, he wrote to Remus and Peter, telling them to come as soon as they can. Outside, Mad-Eye Moody was there, placing protective Charm after Protective charm along with his parents and Dumbledore. Spouts of greens, reds, blues and purples filled the night sky and James would’ve believed they were fireworks. Correction, he wished they were fireworks.

After his owl flew out the window, the loud flutter of its wings woke Sirius. His grey eyes opened, momentarily blinded by the bright lamp. He rushed to his bed, grabbing a hold of Sirius' hand delicately.

“Hey there.”

“Happy New Year,” Sirius replied in a raspy voice, cracking a smile. The colour in his face began to return.

He almost cried out in relief, “You complete arse. You really know how to make an entrance.”

Sirius’ smile grew cold and distant, a faraway look settled into his eyes as his body became rigid. He muttered, looking away from James, “I’m sorry.”

James didn’t know what to do, so he summoned a house-elf, asking for tea and some of Sirius’ favourite food, along with a strengthening Potion. There was a heavy tension in the room, and they both knew it. James began to squirm in his seat. He signed and turned to him, eyeing him calmly.

“Sirius, what happened.” He asked so softly that Sirius barely managed to catch on.

“Nothing happened, drop it.”

Sirius was angry, it was his usual response whenever he felt helpless. James backed down instantly, not wanting to push him too much. He would ask another time. Instead, he simply asked Sirius to make room in his bed and laid down, hugging him. James felt him flinch.

Sirius didn’t even notice he was shaking until he was wrapped into a hug. His vision was blurred with heavy tears as they seeped and soaked James’ sweater.

“It’s okay. You’re safe.”

“I’m sorry.”

James stroked his hair and felt his heartache, “Why are you sorry? Don’t be. You’re my best mate. I will never leave you, okay?”

Almost at once, Sirius felt his anger dissipate as he made a strangled noise, his sobs growing louder. They held onto each other for what seemed like hours afterwards.

Sirius Black might’ve lost a brother, but he also gained a new one all in one day.

107 notes · View notes

cxplqnce · 5 years ago

Text

Milton Greasley - Lighthouse

Based on Lighthouse by Georgia Ku

Word Count: 1,537

Won't put your feelings on the table

Don't ever say what's on your mind

You go from all-in to unstable

And I'm left to read between the lines

You had had a crush on MG for a while now, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him. You knew that MG had been through a lot, he’d just killed Landon – thankfully, he came back to life – and found out that his mother was working for Triad. And that’s only the two main issues.

You knew it would be hard for him to open up, but he was spending the summer with Kaleb so he’d have time to deal with everything away from the school. Since you had no live family, you spent your summer at the school – becoming closer friends with Josie and Landon.

I wanna take all your broken

Hold it together like glue

Know if you leave the door open

I'll come through

After summer ended, you heard Lizzie announce that she was embracing opportunities by saying yes to more things. Then, you heard Kaleb say to MG that this was his shot to ask Lizzie out, which made you feel like your heart was being ripped out.

You wanted to tell MG how you felt but you knew right then and there that you would get rejected so you kept your feelings to yourself. Unfortunately, Josie noticed that something was wrong with you and you spilled your guts to her. She told you not to give up on him but that just confused you more, should you go for it and most likely get rejected or just try to get over him?

Unbeknownst to you, Kaleb overheard your conversation with Josie and told MG everything he heard. Now you weren’t the only one with conflicting feelings.

You know sometimes you'd like to check out

Lock all your issues in a safe

I know that trust is hard to give out

Whatever's left, I'll gladly take

This made it real for MG. He never really thought he had a chance with Lizzie so it all felt surreal – the feelings, the relationship possibility but now that he knew you liked him, it all became real and he had to revaluate whether he was actually ready for a relationship.

Then he saw you.

You were walking out of a class, looking extremely stressed and he realised all of the feelings he held for you. He’d known you for the same amount of time that he’d known Lizzie but he’d actually met you first. Lizzie and Josie were late to give him the tour and you were passing by so Dr. Saltzman pulled you over to introduce yourself. You were a vamp too so you knew exactly what MG was going through and he felt comfortable with you straight away.

You also had heaps in common, even though you had never read a single comic book, you loved superhero movies and TV shows so you would talk about them with him for hours. He then introduced you to the comic book world and you instantly fell in love – stopping by his room every other day to borrow one of his comics to read.

You were also insanely sweet and gentle, you wanted to help people so bad that you’d started learning some first aid and you had decided that you wanted to be a teacher from when you were very young.

Today was the day of the football game against the townies and you had been convinced to play by Josie. You were not athletic in the slightest, you were just the only other student who would participate, and also you were a very, very weak link so the team would surely lose with you. However, the new headmaster, Professor Vardemus, had told you to use your powers in moderation to win – which neither you nor Josie liked the sound of.

The game began and the biggest guy on the opposing team tackled you to the ground and you definitely heard – and felt – something crack in your body. You knew you’d heal but it was extremely painful. Frustratingly, the guy that hit you didn’t seem to care that you had been injured but MG rushed to your side, helping you up. He guided you to the bench and helped you sit down.

“Are you okay? What hurts?” He asked, trying to be calm but failing, while holding your hand in his. You squeezed his hand hard as you felt the bones in your leg resetting themselves.

“My leg.” You croaked out, trying not to scream or cry but MG assured you he’d be there until you were better.

I'll be careful with your heart now

I know you're fragile

Baby, when it's dark out

I'll be your lighthouse

After the game, which your school lost even with the added bonus of your supernatural powers, you were sat in your room reading a comic book you hadn’t returned to MG yet and nursing your leg which had healed but you could still feel an ache. You heard a knock at your door and by the breathing and footsteps you could hear you could tell it was MG.

“Come in!” You called, shifting your position on your bed. MG entered your room and you saw that he had flowers in his hands. “Hey.”

“Hey.” He replied, before looking down at the flowers and holding them out to you, “These are for you… To make you feel better. Does your leg still hurt?”

You shook your head, “Nope, I’m all healed, and thank you… for the flowers. It was sweet of you.” You said, taking the flowers from his hands and laying them down on your bedside table.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” He smiled, before noticing the comic book on your lap, “The Flash… which one is your favourite?” He asked, sitting down on the edge of your bed.

“This one so far… I’ve only read the first few, but so far The Flash is definitely my favourite character and series.” You smiled, gaining courage as you laughed with him, “Would you want to go on a date… with me, sometime?” You asked with an awkward look on your face.

MG was stunned, he never expected you to ask him out so he did the only logical thing he could, “Yes, definitely!” He shouted, before calming himself down, “That was way too much, right?”

“Just a tad.”

I could chase away the voices in your head

Take away the pressure; you can let your guard down

I'll be your lighthouse

You and MG had started dating after that encounter in your room and you had been getting a lot closer. You had both been through a lot and come out stronger for it, and you were even stronger together, however, that was until you saw him sitting in the pool with Alyssa Chang on what looked like a date. She was all over him and you wondered what had possessed him to do something like that so you confronted him about it later on.

“Hey, Y/N.” MG started, coming up behind you in the library, “I was thinking I could come to your room later and we could watch some TV, maybe The Flash?” He suggested, acting as if he hadn’t been all over Alyssa Chang just an hour ago.

You took a deep breath, “Are you kidding me right now?” You said, turning to look at him.

His smile faded when he saw the saddened and disappointed look on your face. “What’s wrong, baby?” He asked, resting his hands on your shoulders but you shrugged him off you.

“Don’t act like everything’s okay when it’s not, MG.” You said, walking away from him and vamp speeding to your room. He obviously followed you, determined to find out what was wrong.

“What’s not okay? What did I do?” He asked, trying to get you to open up.

You sniffed, a few tears falling down your face, “You know what you did,” You said, but MG’s face was blank so you continued to spell it out for him, “I saw you… with Alyssa, in the pool. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

“No, Y/N, it’s not like that. I swear, I can explain.” He defended. You sat down on the edge of the bed and motioned for him to continue, “Alyssa sent the twins and Dr Saltzman to a prison world using an ascendant and Hope and I have been trying to find it and when Hope found out that Alyssa had a crush on me we agreed that I would try to… seduce her into telling me but it didn’t work.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” You asked, wiping the tears off your cheeks.

MG sighed, “I don’t know. I just… I didn’t want to ruin this.”

“I would have been okay with it, if you’d just told me.” You said, pulling him closer to you so you could wrap your arms around his waist. He instinctively did the same, pulling your head to his chest.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbled.

You smiled, “It’s okay, just remember you’re mine.”

A/N: Hope you enjoy! Follow my instagram @ cxplqnce and I take requests if you have one! :)

#milton greasley #milton greasley imagine #milton greasley x reader #milton greasley one shot #mg #mg legacies #legacies imagine #legacies x reader #legacies #mg imagine #mg x reader

85 notes · View notes

fencesandfrogs · 4 years ago

Text

cloudtail’s daughter: dovewing

so i felt the compulsion to analyze more of the warrior cats bloodlines in terms of genetics but i'm not going to do that, that feels like a bad use of my time.

instead, i'm going to keep writing about the cloudtail's daughter au. namely, now that i've described the basics and gone over some world building stuff, i'm going to discuss each of the protagonists in turn. this isn't going to be about their books, but an overview of what they do across the series. i'll do book summaries later. and then i'll just write the whole fanfiction why-don't-i.

anyway, we're starting strong with dovewing, because she's the whole reason i'm writing this gd au.

section one: lovewing dovewing

so dovewing. i've talked the most about her so this will either be the shortest or the longest post in this collection. my money is on the longest. first, i want to talk about why i love dovewing so much:

i have sensory issues. dovewing has sensory issues. that's all.

oh, and i think her and tigerheart are cute.

anyway, in serious, dovewing is an underappreciated character. she gets a lot of flak for replacing hollyleaf. i hated hollyleaf when i first read the books, so i was happy for a replacement, especially in the form of a fluffy grey kitten, but even now that i'm older and have a larger appreciation for hollyleaf, i still love dovewing.

she's caring and anxious and awkward and easily overwhelmed. she's selfish, but no more than is reasonable in a child. she legitimately loves her sister but can't quite understand why ivypool is mad at her all the time. she's desperate to prove herself, and she's shattered when the external thing she's anchored herself to is ripped away from her, and she really does have sensory issues that plague her throughout the series, are aren't really resolved until she's an adult with kits. (even then, i'd personally argue she's just no longer a focus so we don't see it anymore. given that shadowsight finds her in tigerstar's den a lot, i'd almost bet that she's hiding from the outside world. that's an inference, though, that's weakly grounded.)

so yeah, dovewing appeals to me as a character, but i also understand why people aren't so universal fond of her.

section two: dovekit

dovekit is born to cloudtail and brightheart. she's fluffy. very fluffy. ivykit is also fluffy, but she becomes sleek over time. dovekit stays fluffy.

at first, the nursery thinks she might be deaf, because she's really slow to respond to auditory cues. she's really fast to open her eyes, too, which just compounds everyone's thinking. but they confirm she's not deaf, just, well, they don't know.

her father is big and fluffy and concerned for his wife, so she spends a lot of time with him. cloudtail notices she's always hiding in him, like she's being chased, and she speaks really quietly. so he's like. hey, brightheart, love of my life, i think our daughter is hearing too well.

brightheart is like damn that's a thing? cloudtail is like idk but explain this (and he points to dovekit, repeating their conversation to ivykit too far away to hear it that well.)

everyone is a little aware of firestar's general approach to throw-the-disabled-cats-in-the-healer-hole approach to disabilities, and so they decide to handle it as a family matter. ivykit, being equally young, is mostly left out of this. of course, they don't know how to compensate for hearing too much, only too little, and it eventuall becomes obvious dovekit isn't relying on sight the way she should either. but eventually, she starts to learn the names for what she's hearing, starts to recognize what's coming from in camp and what's coming from out, and that lets her attach images to words in a way she was struggling to do before.

her nose gives her minimal issues, because it's just a little less overwhelming. it's the weakest of her external senses, so she's not smelling the whole territory at once.

anyway, they also realize she's hyper aware of touch. she hates the rain, she's cautious around new textures, and she continues to sleep on top of brightheart for a very long time because mom = soft, nest = not. they don't really know what to do about that, so she just kind of learns to suck it up.

but she really doesn't like it.

anyway, ivykit is a typical kit, and dovekit just kind of sits there. staring. with big, blue (kittens eyes start blue then change colors her eyes will eventually be green) eyes. and just when you think she's zoning out, she turns to another conversation across camp and starts talking in it like they can hear her. but i mean, there have been worse kits starting their apprentices.

(leafpool thinks its a shame they have a fully trained medicine cat, or she would make, well, not a good medicine cat, but certainly better than a warrior. jayfeather does not want that. jayfeather is right.)

section three: dovepaw I, pre-beavers

dovepaw and cinderheart are a good duo. cinderheart is young, but patient and caring. and no one thinks dovepaw will be a difficult apprentice.

she excels at scenting territory, even if she is a little cautious of where the borders are, and she can seek out prey very well. she lands a couple of early catches, making ivypaw grumble, but for, like, a moon afterwards, she fails to catch a single thing.

not a ton happens in this time, to be frank. dovepaw and ivypaw squabble but there's no wedge between them yet. dovepaw wants to impress cinderheart but she can't focus. she can locate prey but she never catches it, and her crouch is always perfect but she misses the target, and she doesn't understand why. cinderheart doesn't either.

so, dovepaw knows everyone is treating her with kid gloves, and she's pretty resentful about that. she decides to sneak out at night and practice hunting. she's mostly unsuccessful, and she eventually falls down the tunnels and meets fallen leaves and is stuck there for about three days. ivypaw finds her, and helps lead her out. dovepaw is thankful to be home, but feels like even more of a failure. this is when she becomes full and proper anxiety child. (this is actually a major part of book one, distance whispers, but it's really more part of ivypaw's journey that dovepaw, because dovepaw spends most of it hurt and scared and hungry.)

then, dovepaw hears the beavers. (in the tunnels, she could kind of hear the other parts of thunderclan, but not the beavers. eventually she's like, "yo cinderheart what part of territory has the loud click clackers." cinderheart is like "wtf.") the lake has been drying up, but dovepaw was born into a drought. she doesn't know what's going on, not how bad its getting. but the beavers? yeah. she tells cinderheart about them and cinderheart is like "ohhhhhh. dovepaw is special. that explains a lot." and tells firestar about it. anxiety dovepaw vibrates by her side the entire time.

interestingly, dovepaw is a lot closer to firestar in kinship than she is in the original (because she's actually kin of his kin), but she's still not super close to him. he's pretty old, and she's decently far removed from him. he cares about her as cloudtail's daughter, not as dovepaw, if that makes sense? like any care for her beyond the care extended to any other apprentice is not because it's dovepaw, but because she's cloudtail's daughter.

section four: dovepaw II, beavers

so dovepaw knows she's dragging 9 cats on a crazy quest.

(why nine? a) i think it's neat if nine is a holy number for cats. much better than eight. b) hollyleaf needs to come so there's a narrator during this. it can't be cinderheart or hollyleaf and jayfeather & lionblaze and cinderheart share their books like ivypool and dovewing, and i don't like that because then there's a false parallel being drawn where it doesn't make sense. like, i could do that, but the problem is, the books don't line up with key points in their relationships. so. doesn't work.)

anyway, dovepaw knows this is insane and she feels desperate to prove herself. she's in front of warriors from other clans, and she can barely hunt, and her senses are going wild. cinderheart takes her aside and is like, "so dovepaw, do you want to tell them what's up? we can explain."

and dovepaw, anxiety child and desperate, is like "sounds like an excuse, so, no."

tigerheart is like, this dovepaw. she's fluffy. she's cute. dovepaw is like. this tigerheart. he's fluffy. he's cute. and they get off like gangbusters. tigerheart is gentle towards dovepaw, but not in a way that makes her feel like its because she's fragile. it's because she's dovepaw. and he wants to be gentle to her. cinderheart is like, "this might be a problem," but this is also the first time she's seen dovepaw out of her shell and talking at a reasonable volume. so she's not about to stop this. at least, not yet.

(cinderpelt may or may not be like "hey hey hey do you remember the leafpool drama? do you want to do this again?")

tigerheart is also super quiet. this isn't really a product of him, so much as their environment, but he's quiet when he's not talking and loud when he is, and dovepaw just feels safe around him. so they get close.

for the most part, the rest of beavers proceeds as in canon. there's no reason to change it, even if cinderheart wasn't strong like lionblaze, having hollyleaf there would definitely compensate. so they're fine.

they return victorious. dovepaw, by the end of the journey, is practically sleeping on top of tigerheart.

it's not really romantic yet, by the way. dovepaw started this journey sleeping on top of cinderheart. everyone in thunderclan knows that dovepaw sleeps on top of people. but tigerheart is big so he basically doesn't notice when dovepaw, who is tiny and isn't done filling out (she's full height all the apprentices are that's how cats grow) is on top of him.

cinderheart is like, "this is definitely a problem." hollyleaf and cinderpelt are facepalming.

but no one wants dovepaw to go back to being quiet, and she's already kind of shut down after the deaths taking care of the beavers, so they all try to bring dovepaw into the group, and dovepaw doesn't resist, she just likes tigerheart. she's going to miss him a lot when they get back, and that's why they keep meeting. because tigerheart doesn't treat dovepaw the way most thunderclan cats do, and she likes that.

also, after they get back, she develops a huge crush on him.

(since we don't get tigerheart perspective in this series, i'll add in here: tigerheart has complicated feelings about dovepaw. warrior cats do not establish a good age for cats to be with each other, but i'm going to say that if dovepaw and tigerheart were in the same clan, everyone would assume they were leaning towards mates. but they aren't, which makes it complicated. he likes her companionship, and he's not opposed to her as a mate, but mostly he feels deeply protective of her and cares deeply about her. kind of like how i assume brambleclaw and squirrelpaw were supposed to be portrayed, but like, done well.)

section five: dovepaw III, post-beavers (pre-tribe)

so this is probably the section that's most similar to canon, but it'd like to do the tigerheart dovepaw shit better. hopefully, by setting up tiger/dove better before, they'll be more compelling now.

anyway, ivypaw is annoyed at dovepaw, and dovepaw is like, "bruh i can't even hunt"

dovepaw feels really inadequate because now everyone thinks highly of her even though she can't do anything. she overhears someone (greystripe? brambleclaw? lionblaze?) discussing making her a warrior, and she feels even worse. (ivypaw also overhears this, but not for superpower reasons.) she feels especially bad because she knows ivypaw is holding back and now dovepaw is getting rewarded and that can't happen.

so dovepaw is falling apart, and cinderheart decides something needs to be done. piecing together everything she knows about her apprentice, she decides mabye the mountain is helpful.

section six: dovepaw IV, tribe

okay we have a travelling book. not that this is about the books, but this takes place in about one book, so i might as well point that out.

anyway, cinderheart, lionblaze, dovepaw, and ivypaw all head to the tribe. why them? lionblaze knows ivypaw is holding back. anyway, we're not covering them.

so they get there and dovepaw is like "too loud too loud can't hear shit too loud" but the tribe kind of knows how to deal with this. see, tribe kits are born with the waterfall in the background, but every now and then, a queen will kit away from the main cave, and so they have to make a temporary den for first two moons, minimum, of the kits' lives. more if it's winter. so when those kits get to the waterfall, they're overwhelmed.

and here, with nothing to hear or see but what the tribe hears and sees, dovepaw is on level footing. they let dovepaw train with the prey hunter to-bes, and she's basically starting over, but she's not that old compared to the tribe to-bes, and the strategy works well for her. ivypaw doesn't really fit in, but they decide to train her to be a cave guard.

dovepaw is succeeding but barely, and ivypaw is still excelling (from dovepaw's perspective), and all dovepaw wants is to be good enough, and then cinderheart is expecting them to work together, and no one can hear dovepaw because she talks too quiet.

but ivypaw and dovepaw do make a good team. so. two to three moons later, before winter sets in and they can't leave (or they stay over winter, not sure, need to check timeline of books), they head home.

dovepaw, senses blocked, is at 200% anxiety 100% of the time, and she's vibrating, but at least she can hunt. i mean, hunt as well as a fresh apprentice on their first patrol, but she's improving rapidly, as long as ivypaw is with her.

section seven: dovepaw V, post-tribe (final dovepaw)

so dovepaw gets better and better at hunting, and she learns to keep track of non-ivypaw cats, and they're finally made warriors.

dovewing and ivypool sit vigil and dovewing realizes that it's not that hard to not talk to ivypool. and she's not a fan of that.

section eight: dovewing I, tigerheart

at this point, dovewing is in BGCH, so this is probably the most important part of her life for this post. anyway, dovewing and tigerheart continue to meet. they are in L-O-V-E love. it's not in the books because we know it's happening and it'd get boring we had a book of them bonding we don't need another unless it's a romance novel (dovewing's silence, tigerheart's shadow).

anyway, this is when the bumblestripe drama occurs. she is, for lack of a better word, bumblestripe is courting dovewing while dovewing is planning to elope with tigerheart. but bumblestripe treats dovewing softly. with kid gloves. like she is a fragile thing he needs to protect.

this is distinctly different from tigerheart, who views her as precious and worthy of protection, someone he loves and would dedicate his life to keep safe. she's not fragile. she's strong.

so yeah bumblestripe can't figure out why he doesn't like her. dovewing tries to express it. dovewing also misses ivypool. i'm not sure who she's friends with right now. i don't have a good handle on young cats her age. poppyfrost? briarlight?

honestly, yeah, she gets on with briarlight and jayfeather. her sense of smell was too overpowering as a kit for her to like the medicine cat's den, but now that she's older and she's learned to cope, she starts to bond with briarlight. for one, it gives her a convient bumblestripe spacer, and for another, briarlight and jayfeather are legitmately kind and caring cats.

(yes, jayfeather. we'll talk about him.)

ivypool eventually begins to make it up with her, but both of them are tense about the affair.

anyway, this carries on, status quo, until the prophecy is revealed.

section nine: dovewing II, dovewing in shadowclan

so dovewing and ivypool are sent to shadowclan. tigerheart is a little upset about dovewing not telling him about the prophecy, but she was ordered not to via medicine cat, and that's a higher power he respects. so for the most part, they're okay. a little bit of squabbling as they're adults living together now for the first time, but they're alright. she eventually goes back to sleeping on top of him.

pine needles are prickly, she likes soft things, ivypool is mad at her all of the time. dovewing is good at hunting in shadowclan territory: with less birds and twigs, she can focus on the important sounds. she's not a fan of frogs and lizards but not everyone in shadowclan is.

and most of all, everyone in shadowclan treats her normally. no one cares that she's a prophecy cat. no one minds that she's slow to talk sometimes and she's kind of spacy. she's kind and she's a good hunter and a good tracker, which is a valuable skill considering their land can get pretty wet.

so yeah. dovewing and tigerheart are basically mates in all but name, and she wishes ivypool wasn't mad at her all the time, but she's happy for the first time in ages. they begin to discuss moving her to shadowclan after the battle. things are good.

section ten: dovewing III, the battle

so dovewing's job during the battle is not to listen all the way to the dark forest. that's stupid.

i'm not 100% sure what it is yet, tbh, but it definitely involves informing strategy. i'm thinking she basically opens her mind up to the terretory and jayfeather taps into her mind and communicates this to messengers and the like.

either way, she doesn't really care about it. or, well, it just gets erased from her mind because trauma. that's a better way of saying it.

section eleven: dovewing IV, dovewing's silence, bramblestar's storm, tigerheart's shadow

so this is past the scope of this au, but basically, dovewing gets "trapped" in thunderclan because of the storm and not being ready to move to shadowclan yet. she still does all of her screaming in the tunnels thing because as hard as her senses were to learn to manage, they were her's and she doesn't really know how to function without them.

i'm not sure who dies in the battle, but probably cloudtail. i'm way more attatched to brightheart. maybe they don't lose anyone. i don't know.

she leaves in tigerheart's shadow because she's got self-worth issues and forgot that shadowclan dgaf if she has prophecy powers. tigerheart also makes her feel a little unvalued by not following her. but from there, things go on as in canon.

dovewing? done.

#dovewing #warriors #ivypool #tigerheart #warrior cats #cloudtail's daughter #mine #txt #22nd #February #2021 #February 22nd 2021 #q #essay #lovewing dovewing

8 notes · View notes

lullabiesandgoodbyes · 5 years ago

Text

Tagging @madsdefencesquad, and thank you so much for the opportunity to rant about my girls, since this fandom pays little to no attention to them and that’s not right! *-*

So, Kate and Madison, where do I start?

I don’t know, maybe with the fact that they started at such a rough place. Kate wasn’t exactly impressed by Madison when they first met, and I’m sure that’s how we’re supposed to feel about her too ( “why is this skinny girl complaining about her weight amidst all of those obese people? surely she’s only there to make herself feel better...” ). We’re probably even meant to stand by her side when she snaps:

« Oh, for God's sake! Madison, you weigh 105 pounds! If you feel like a fat girl when you look in the mirror, why don't you step a damn scale? And when the scale reads "One, zero, five," you know that you're not fat. »

And this is only the second episode.

The thing I’ve come to wonder the most about that whole year they shared through the support group, though: Madison doesn’t seem to hate Kate back. In fact, the first time she eventually opens her mouth, here’s what caught my attention:

« Why do you hate me? »

It was something I didn’t notice on my first watch, since back then I too was highly suspicious of Madison, but she sounds frustrated when Kate stands up against her again; so frustrated, she actually follows her to the parking lot to confront her about her behavior, despite not being the confrontational type. And when Kate reafirms her core problem with Madison ( «Because you're annoying and you shouldn't be here» ), how does she backfire?

« Well, I think you're annoying. The way that you and your fiancé come here every week and smile and giggle at each other when some of us don't have anyone to do that with. »

Now that we know more about her, I think it’s plausible that Madison, a lonely girl with low self-esteem who joined a support group for body issues and got shunned because of her body, kind of envied Kate, who had no trouble fitting in because she was fat, spoke her mind without worrying about hurt feelings and even found love right under everyone’s noses. She could go to those meetings and talk about how miserable she felt, but I can imagine Madison thinking to herself that Kate was everything she wanted to be.

Well, we all know how that scene ended, right? They tap cars, Kate gets scared and eventually tells her she’s pregnant. I’ve always loved how a single word - together with Kate’s vulnerability - managed to dissipate all the anger and frustration that Madison was displaying just a few seconds before. And now that we know she had been told to be infertile? She could have hated her for it ( honestly, how many times have we seen it happening on screen between female characters? ), but instead chose to be happy for her.

And it’s the loss of said pregnancy that makes Madison approach her again. Notice her facial expressions as Kate opens up during the meeting. She tells them « You know, after the miscarriage, I just needed some comfort, you know? So I found that in Taco Bell. » and you can see she just gets it - Madison would later admit « I was really upset when I got home. So I ate. So much. » The truth is, at the end of the day, they’re not that different from each other: they get hurt or overwhelmed by life, they overeat, they feel terrible about it. Maybe she’s also feeling alone, as if no one understands her, maybe not even her fiancé, who used to be one of them and now is not - but Madison does and I think that made the difference.

I’ve always found it so endearing that she went to Kate after the meeting to invite her to shop for the wedding dress. <3 Not just because she was honestly trying to make her feel better ( «Let me help you clear this hurdle.» ) but mostly because there’s a chance she used her own experiences and ( we assume ) connections to make sure Kate would feel better: from assuring she wouldn’t have to try the dresses, that she was free to leave as soon as she felt uncomfortable, to book the appointment so they’d be alone and away from unpleasant looks, she knew how to make it a nice experience. And she did it because, following my previous interpretations, the girl who was getting all the things she wanted for herself had just lost her baby and was now on the verge of also losing one of the most exciting moments from her journey to the altar, and she couldn’t let it happen. <333

So, while they’re out having fun, we end up finding out not only what’s wrong with Madison but also that she’s currently relapsing. She did her best for Kate while at her worst ( is it possible that taking care of others is Madison’s way to care for herself...? ), and Kate notices it. Not happy about it, she actually has the guts to confront her. I don’t think Madison is angry at her for that, but I definitely believe she’s angry at herself for slipping and allowing her to see just how low she has reached. That’s probably why she calls later, after she faints - Kate ain’t easy and not yet a friend, but now she knows what’s going on with her. More than that, she sounded worried during the confrontation, almost as if she cared and was ready to rethink her opinion on her ( «When you talk in group, it's not about anything... real. Or, at least that's what I thought.» ). And it turns out to be the best decision: Kate ends up taking care of her and even starts opening up about her own experiences with weight and voices whispering crazy things inside your head. She even finishes with a very tender « So... I don't think you're insane », which seems like something Madison craved to listen for a long time. And that was the beautiful beginning of a beautiful friendship. *-*

I’m going a bit over the board now, but one of the things I think Madison does with their friendship is to live through Kate: she organizes her bachelorette party, throws a helping hand at her wedding, offers her support when Kate reveals she’ll probably never have kids and stays by her side all through her pregnancy and Jack’s first challenging year. It’s a shame we never got to see those moments ( fingers crossed for an episode featuring Madison’s backstory, I’d love to know more about her participation in Kate’s life ), and I’m especially fond of the reminiscence of them shopping for the baby:

« We were out after group a few months ago and we passed this baby store. She didn't want to go in. And I was like, "Kate, you need to show the universe you believe this is going to happen." So she got this Ruth Bader Ginsburg doll to give him as soon as he was born. Because she wanted him to be immediately surrounded by strong female influences. »

Found it very adorable that Kate, whose life has mostly been shaped by the men in her life ( her father, her brothers, her husband ), is finally recognizing the impact that strong women can have too. Maybe this wasn’t the interpretation the writers were aiming at, but I absolutely loved that her first thought was to have her son surrounded by tough ladies, so they can teach him to be strong like her mother, her best friend and even her sister-in-law at some point have taught her.

Reciprocally, I believe this friendship taught a lot to Madison too. She’s clearly more mature by the time she opens up to Kate regarding her own views on relationships and what she wants from them ( «What you and Toby have, what I dream of finding, is that intimacy. It's letting people see the worst part of you without being scared.» ), and yes, I think a lot of that stemmed from her interactions with Kate and the entire Pearson clan. She’s estranged from her family, so maybe it’s not far-fetched to assume she needed to feel part of one to understand their dynamics and, who knows, maybe gain the courage to finally start one of her own...?

I guess that’s part of the reason why the whole showdown at the waiting room when Jack was born hurt so much. Notice how the scene went:

« KEVIN: I'm sorry, what exactly are you doing here?

MADISON: Oh, I, um... No, it's, uh, it's weird that I'm here. This is a... family thing. »

And later, after she tries to justify her actions to Miguel:

« MADISON: But I should go. Kevin's right, I... it's weird that I'm here. I'm not family. »

I know you can say that Kevin made his feelings very obvious in that first scene, but he never said she wasn’t family, she did. Like, Madison has created strong ties to the Pearsons and feels like one of them but, deep inside, where her self-esteem and sense of belonging are still fragile, she knows she’s not. She’s still not sure she’s entitled to be there and Kevin, very unpleasantly, makes it very clear to her - you don’t belong here. But right when she’s about to leave, Madison’s loyal heart speaks louder, forcing her to stay despite her contraditory feelings, at least until Miguel helps her to find a way to do something for Kate and the baby.

By the way, I know I’m diverging from the main topic of this ask, but I love, love, LOVE how Miguel is the one supporting her on this episode. He wants to be supportive of Rebecca and his stepsons, but she’s basically away from there and both Randall and Kevin are refraining from him; then comes Madison, as lost and worried as he is, and she actually allows him to comfort her.

Also love how, by the end of it, they both get the same recognition:

« Thank you for putting up with us. »

I don’t know, man, I just can’t think it’s a coincidence...

So, you probably didn’t expect an essay on the matter and I’m sorry for it, sometimes I get too excited. ^-^’ I’m also not sure I made much sense through it, second languages can be too much sometimes. But this is where I’m standing so far, and I’m very glad for the opportunity to organize my thoughts about them. I’m now eager to see what S5 will bring us, with Madison becoming an official Pearson member - whether she’s Kevin’s wife or not, she’s the mother of his children and we’ll always have that - and how this will affect her relationship with Kate.

Oh, and let’s never forget my favorite quote related to these two:

« Is it that CrossFit bitch? I'll kill her. Is it Toby? I'll kill him. You just say the word, I will “Kill Bill” all of them and help you raise that child myself. »

I love my girls. <3

#Bel talks to people #madsdefencesquad #Kate Pearson #Madison Simons #Kate x Madison #This Is Us #TIU Talk #I love them so much!! *-*#Hope S5 will treat them nicely #and here's to a lot of great moments between these two <3 #Thank you so much for your ask girl #I'm sorry it took me so long to answer back #but I wanted to give you a nice one

34 notes · View notes

thelittlestcheshire · 4 years ago

Text

Is that HAILEY CHESHIRE “CHES” ELSWOOD? Wow, they do look a lot like KATHERINE MCNAMARA. I hear SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old FRESHMEN who is studying ENGLISH at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be IMPULSIVE and STUBBORN, but on the bright side they can also be ENERGETIC and LOYAL. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself.

the basics //

Full Name: Hailey Cheshire “Ches” Elswood

Preferred Name: Ches Elswood

Age: 18

Birthday: July 19th

Zodiac: Cancer

Gender & Pronouns: Woman (She/Hers)

Sexuality: Bisexual

Occupation: Youtuber (two channels, a theme park history channel that uploads once a month (documentary style) and a DIY channel she shares with a friend she posts on the 2nd and 4th Mondays of each month)

Relationship Status: In a Relationship with Elliot Mills

Place of Birth: Paris, France

Hometown: Manhattan, New York, New York

Country of Citizenship: United States and France [dual citizenship]

Languages Spoken: French (first), English, Latin, Portuguese, and she’s learning Norwegian (she doesn’t think it’s enough to count yet) and she just started Russian

deeper dive //

Hobbies and Talents:

♡ Piano

♡ Archery

♡ Acting

♡ Singing (Voice Claim: Katherine McNamara (updated - spring 2021))

♡ Reading

♡ Forgeries

♡ Lockpicking

♡ DIYS (especially involving resin)

♡ Writing (not creatively though, essays, Defunctworld scripts)

♡ Video Creation

Favorites:

♡ Color: Pink (the watermelon paint color)

♡ Food: Cheap Chinese Food

♡ Animal: Tigers

♡ Drink: Cherry Cola

♡ Flower: Lilies

♡ Book: Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

♡ Holiday: Halloween (costumes) or Christmas (gift giving)

♡ Movie: The Shining

♡ Scent: Vanilla Bean

♡ Place: Her family's flat in Paris

♡ Quote:

“and though she be but little, she is fierce” - William Shakespeare

Bêtes Noires:

♡ Color: Dijon

♡ Food: Sushi (a lot of it has to do with that tuna allergy though)

♡ Animal: Domestic Cats, she can tolerate them but they’re one of the few animals she wouldn’t seek out.

♡ Drink: Coffee (it’s a key reason why she drinks it when she’s panicking, because who has time to panic when you’re too busy being offended by what you’re drinking? Not Ches.)

♡ Flower: Roses (she loathes them, dislike is an understatement)

♡ Book: The Hunchback of Notre Dame - Victor Hugo

♡ Holiday: Her birthday

♡ Movie: The Notebook

♡ Scent: Roses

♡ Place: Touristy Locations, she hates being around tourists ok

health //

Conditions:

♡ Borderline Personality Disorder

♡ PTSD

Allergies: Severe Allergy to the Perciformes family of fish (tuna, mackrel, perch , and bass). Shellfish and salmoniformes (Salmon and Trout) are fine, but she won’t try any other kinds of fish just in case.

Sleeping Habits: Ches doesn’t sleep well at all, she has nightmares more often than not, and it’s rare for her to get more than a couple of hours of sleep.

Exercise Habits: While she occasionally skips leg day, Ches exercises daily because she needs to be in good shape for archery. Usually, she goes for boxing (with a dummy, not other people) but she likes hiking a lot as well.

Addictions: Alcohol, although Ches is currently in recovery

Drug Use: Occasional weed (edibles), but for the most part she avoids drugs

Alcohol Use: Ches used to drink multiple times of day daily, but now she doesn’t drink at all because she’s in recovery (attending NA and therapy) and has quit.

personality //

MBTI: ENFP

Enneagram: 7w8 (The Enthusiast with The Challenger wing)

Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, occasionally bordering on Chaotic Good

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Percy Jackson Parent: Aphrodite

Pokémon Type: Ghost

Pokémon Subtype: Electric

Winx: Light

appearance //

Height: 5′3 ½” (not at fc height)

Tattoos: One, Two, Three

Scars: None

Piercings: None

Hair: Red (naturally). Ches dyes her hair from time to time so she has a current hair color thing in her sidebar (you may have to scroll).

Eyes: Green

Fashion:

♡ link to ches’s closet

♡ link to ches’s shoes

life at luxor //

Major:

♡ English

Clubs and Activities:

♡ Archery Club

♡ Theater (Actress)

♡ Concert Band (Piano)

♡ National Honor Society

fun facts //

♡ Ches is a former Carnifex student who came over to Luxor during the merge. You can see everything that she’s been up to during her time in the rp on her timeline page.

♡ Ches has a twin brother named Jonah who isn’t at Luxor.

♡ The Elswoods are rich. Top 25 Forbes list, 50+ Billion Networth levels of rich. In turn Ches really doesn’t think that much about money, and how much it actually means to other people.

♡ Valedictorian of Luxor Academy’s 2020 Class, she turned down Columbia’s English program to attend Luxor University.

♡ She doesn’t use her first name, ever. She doesn’t like it, and there’s a fairly high chance of her just not acknowledging you if you call her Hailey.

♡ She’s a bit of a closet nerd - if you look under her bed she has a chest of comic books, although she has NO idea how they got there if you ask her. Do not question the R2-D2 shaped thing covered by a tarp in her closet. She also doesn’t know where that came from.

♡ Extremely restless, if you want her to sit still during a movie you better give her something to do simultaneously.

♡ Her purse is kinda like Mary Poppins bag, odds are she has what you’re looking for in it. She almost always has her multi-tool on her. She also tends to carry around a single shot nerf gun, don’t ask.

♡ She got her first tattoo while she was away from school, using a forged note of parental consent in New Jersey. (The not fragile one, the arrow was added later).

♡ She has way too many siblings, you can learn about them on her family page. (She has one more not listed, a still born half brother named Julien she learned about via her mother’s diaries. The rest of the children (excluding Emmett) are unaware.)

♡ Loves animals, a lot, sometimes to a reckless extent. She would try to feed piranhas, she does try to climb into enclosures with venomous snakes. She would steal a dog (as would her twin brother, so apparently they have more in common than they realize).

♡ If Ches makes a threat, take it with a grain of salt. Yes, she owns a blowtorch, no she won’t set you on fire even if she lights it in your direction. Your muse might not always know that - depending on how much time they’ve spent with her, but ooc just remember her bark is way worse than her bite.

♡ Ches has a Porsche that she got from her father for graduating at the top of her class. Although it’s currently not travelling with her because the cost of shipping a car is insane. Anytime she’s in Lake George though, this is her baby. (She also owns a Mercedes, which was her first car).

♡ I’m always willing to discuss my muses, so feel free to hit me up if you have any questions at any point.

a tl;dr history //

♡ Ches’s mother was murdered on her 8th birthday in front of her

♡ She was raised by her oldest brother, Logan, and is NOT close to her father really. She also helped raise her younger sisters and is very protective of them.

♡ The Elswood she is closest to is Emmett. He’s a big part of why she’s even here, as she’d followed him to Carnifex.

♡ Her first real love was James (an npc). They dated Freshman-Sophomore years. It wasn’t a healthy relationship, and it started Ches’s messy af relationship and fwbs pattern as she didn’t want to go through that again.

♡ Ches left Luxor in October of 2019 because her oldest brother (Logan), overdosed. He’s alive and doing well now, but she stayed in NYC until March 2020 in order to take care of things here.

♡ I strongly recommend skimming Ches’s timeline page before interacting with her. These are just the bare minimum basics, and there’s more things your muse may know on there.

wanted connections //

♡ Exes (when Ches dates it’s not for long, but she’s definitely the type to be like “I’ll go out with you” if asked and then... dump you if she thinks she’s getting too attached. So her exes are either on good terms, neutral terms, or they probably dislike her a lot)

♡ Former friends with benefits (while Ches is no longer taking on new ones because of Elliot, I’m always willing to headcanon past things!)

♡ Friends (I am weak af for a good friendship plot, never be afraid to be like “hey can our muses be friends” the answer is legit always yes)

♡ Enemies (Ches can... be a lot so it’s not unlikely she’s pissed people off ok)

♡ NA Sponsor (I think it'd be beneficial for Ches to have a sponsor, someone she respects and trusts but not someone with a close emotional attachment. I'd prefer if the muse has been sober for two+ years, but we can probably find a middle ground.)

♡ Ex Friends (People used to be friends with but no longer is on good terms with, either as an aftermath of her addiction, the aftermath of her recovery when that starts, them just growing apart, etc etc)

#luxorintro #finally redid the intros #alcohol tw #alcoholism tw #drugs tw #overdose tw #abuse tw

5 notes · View notes

inapat13 · 5 years ago

Text

«How would you start this movie?/Well, if I had my choice, it wouldn't start at all. It would already have been. And it wouldn't end either.»

Jim & Andy: The Great Beyond is a documentary by Chris Smith released in 2017. The one and a half hour movie follows the process of Jim Carrey portraying Andy Kaufman for Man on the Moon, a big hit from 1999. We can see Carrey during the shooting of the film in 1999, but we are also the witnesses of his testimony years later, for the documentary. Indeed, with the aid of amazing archives, Jim Carrey talks about his state of mind at the time and how this period, this movie, had a big influence on his life and his career afterwards. Jim & Andy is an intense documentary where the viewer has the feeling that the main actor is lost, in his job and life, as much in 1999 as in 2017. The documentary allows reflection on the actor's approach to a role and it questions us: how far can someone go when playing someone else?

I think it's important to talk about the many archives that are in the movie. First of all, we mainly have insane footage from the sets of 1999. Indeed, someone did a making-of of the process, which allows the viewer to discover what was happening behind the scenes. What we know is that Jim Carrey, portraying Andy Kaufman, allowed a video crew to document his performance for Man on the Moon. Carrey kept it for years and nobody had seen it before Chris Smith's documentary. Those images seem to be timeless: they're so real, so much at the heart of the process, that they appear ageless. The public sees everything: Jim Carrey on set, in his trailer, while being made-up... But we also witness his changing personality. It is very clear when he is Jim Carrey or Andy Kaufman or Tony Clifton. Indeed, the real subject of the documentary is the search for identity and the meaning of life for Carrey. Those archives come to highlights the moment of the star's life when all those questioning started. And, if these images shows how Jim Carrey prepared for his rôle and how «crazy» he went, they also shows how it affected the crew, the other actors and the director. The director, Milos Foreman appears to also be one of the heroes of the movie. His patience and his professionalism led him to successfully manage his main actor. In the archives we can see Foreman calling Carrey «Andy» or «Tony» when the actor is portraying each one of them; and if by mistake he called him «Jim», Carrey unleashed his anger saying he didn't know who Jim was. Those archives are incredible because they strengthen the idea of a movie which had its own time frame. Everything was paced by Jim Carrey's preparation and performance; everyone had to know what to call him at what time. And, when he took it too far, everyone had to know how to deal with it. To be able to see such a moment of creation, to witness just how far someone can go when acting makes this footage very precious to my mind. They are a very valuable testimony to the act of creation but also to the quest of identity and the profound uneasiness of Jim Carrey at that time.

However, the excerpts from this making-of aren't the only archives. As said before, this documentary is mainly about identity and the meaning of life and goes as much for Jim Carrey as for Andy Kaufman. Indeed, the movie tries to study the lives of these two men at the same time. Kaufman was a very famous American humourist and actor. A specialist of the absurd, he died in 1984 at only 35 years old but he marked the American public. Thus, Jim and Andy is also composed of archives of Kaufman (sketches, interviews, stand-up shows...) and of Carey (movies, interviews, sketches...). Chris Smith retraces both of their careers to show the similarities and why Jim Carrey really takes playing Kaufman to heart. The use of those archives leads us to understand how Carrey came to such a level of commitment, toying with his own mental health. When we add Carrey's comments in 2017, we clearly understand that Man on the Moon was a turning point in his life, mindset and career. By multiplying archives of Carrey and superposing archives of Kaufman, Chris Smith tries to «explain» these two characters and to highlight that all they wanted was to find what the meaning of life is, something Carrey is still searching for.

The way Jim Carrey has of merging into the Kaufman character is called Method Acting. When we search for a definition of this method we can find this explanation: «Method acting is a range of training and rehearsal techniques that seek to encourage sincere and emotionally expressive performances, as formulated by a number of different theatre practioners. These techniques are built on Stanislavski's system, developed by the Russian actor and director Konstantin Stanislavski and captured in his books An Actor Prepares, Building a Character, and Creating a Role […] Among the concepts and techniques of method acting are substitution, "as if", sense memory, affective memory, and animal work (all of which were first developed by Stanislavski). Contemporary method actors sometimes seek help from psychologists in the development of their roles.» It appears to be a famous method, particularly in the United States. We've heard of Jared Leto's preparation for Suicide Squad where he was sending condoms and other horrors to his fellow cast members, only to portray the Joker in the best way possible (quite a failure by the way). And we also know how Christian Bale can put on or lose a lot of weight to play someone. All of that comes under Method Acting. For Man on the Moon, Jim Carrey disappeared little by little to give space to the ghost of Kaufman. What we see in Chris Smith's documentary is that from the moment Carrey woke up, till he went to bed again, he wasn't Jim Carrey anymore but only Andy Kaufman or Tony Clifton. At one point the actor even explains that Andy has come to play in his own movie; to tell his own story. Looking at this footage, we don't know what to think. It seems more than just preparation. Carrey really appears absent; just as if he didn't exist for the shooting time. There is a particular moment where it's shown. Jim Carrey has to replay the famous altercation between Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler, a professional wrestler. Lawler plays himself, and he was a good friend of Kaufman's in real life, even though for the audience they pretended to hate each other. When Lawler met Carrey, it was a disaster. Carrey acts like Andy, even backstage, for the rest of the movie. He's constantly teasing and provoking Lawler, which lead to a hostile relationship where Lawler chases and is violent to Carrey. Jerry Lawler says that his acting is far from what Andy was like and that he isn't «method acting» but that he's just a moron, disrespecting Kaufman's memory. At this point, the viewer can be lost. So, is Jim Carrey really «possessed» by Kaufman's spirit? Or is he just taking the act and the prank too far? Even if I'm usually kind of sceptical about this kind of method, I have to say that it seems really real for me. In my eyes Carrey doesn't seems to have any awareness of himself anymore. This feeling is strengthened by Jim Carrey's interview in the present. He comments on all these moments just as if it wasn't him. He has perspective on his mindset at the time. Indeed, the documentary allows him to express his opinion on life, identity but also the acting profession. It's a moment for him to show the audience how he sees himself and his career. How it affected him, and still is affecting him. Jim Carrey is very calm and clear-headed about all of this, about the making of Man on The Moon, and it allows the viewer to take a compassionate look at him and to compensate for his craziness at the time.

In the end, Jim and Andy: The Great Beyond, is a multifaceted documentary. It takes us into the mind of two great and fragile personalities. By presenting these two men, Chris Smith allows Jim Carrey, and us, to face reality and discover our place in it. And, by offering us these previously unreleased archives, Smith also give us an extraordinary moment of cinema.

Lola Puel.

3 notes · View notes

nastyaphrodite · 6 years ago

Text

Mother Tongue - Demetria Martinez

fyi one of the most poetically written books I’ve ever read, quotes are too good to lose to time.

(will be tagged personal, but this is not personal ...)

pg. 4: and I was one of those women whose fate is to take war out of a man, or at least imagine she is doing so.

pg. 5: before his arrival the chaos of my life had no axis about which to spin, a center far from God that I asked for forgiveness in advance.

pg. 12: Everything else is remembering. Or dismembering. To create a man out of blanks that can never wound me.

pg. 15: From day one I looked for ways to graft a piece of myself onto him, to become indispensable. My gestures were perfectly timed, touching his hand, twisting my hair, excusing myself to touch up my lipstick---ordinary actions that would reverse the tides of my life as in the theories of physicists who say the dance of a butterfly can cause volcanoes to erupt.

pg 16: Love at first sight, this how I explained the urgency that would later shed its skin and reveal pure desperation. Some women fall in love in advance of knowing a man because it is much easier to love a mystery. And I needed a mystery---someone outside of ordinary time would could rescue me from an ordinary life, from my name ... a blessing that had become a curse. At age nineteen, I was looking for a man to tear apart the dry rind of that name so I could see what fruit fermented inside.

pg. 19: Yes, from the very beginning I wanted him. In that time of my life, men were mirrors that allowed me to see myself at different angles. Outside this function, they did not exist. It was a supreme selfishness, the kind that feeds on men’s attentions, a void flourishing in a void. **** In the end, I had no choice but to love him. Desire was not good enough. Love would ripen in the light of time we spent together, like an arranged marriage. Except that I was doing the arranging. And calling it fate.

pg. 20: I swear to God the moment I laid eyes on him I knew he was The One. And it can’t be a coincidence—that he arrived on the scene just as I was asking the universe whether or not there was more to life than just holding down boring jobs. I’d been so depressed. Now everything has changed. Still, I know I should slow these feelings down. Or else I’ll want to act on them—which always ruins everything. I’ve got to remember I can’t “make” anything happen beyond doing the footwork for some greater purpose that may be trying to manifest here. Maybe I’m supposed to just be his friend.

pg. 22: It’s like I’m going for longer and longer periods of time forgetting I’m depressed. Which maybe is a definition of happiness.

pg. 23: Peace. Joy. Openness to the future. How else can I describe what I’m feeling except for the big “L” word, which I don’t dare say out loud. Because it’s like yelling fire in a theater. Men flee and my girlfriends say to me, you fool.

pg. 26: Very often, when I try to remember those days, everything comes to mind except for memories of myself: what I looked like or said or felt. This is where it gets painful. You see, memory does not always serve me. It seeks images and feelings to hook on to, but at times encounters only voids. The facts are easy enough to recite. *** I fled the world, went inside, ceased to feel. You could say I fell asleep. There was no mystery to it. Quite simply, it was easier to sleep and pretend to be awake than to stay awake and pretend to be strong. *** They had words for women like me. Insane fell out of favor as did nervous breakdown. Clinically depressed was, I believe, in vogue. But ask any woman who has had times in her life when she was not all there. She will say she was asleep. And women who fall asleep and don’t know why lack a plot line; this is the secret source of their shame. So I concocted a plot of my own, orchestrating what I could until characters began to say and do things I had never imagined, me included. To prove the gods at least were interested in me, I courted disaster, set out to love a man I knew full well would go away. Falling in love was a way of pinching myself. It proved I was alive only on that thin line between drama and trauma. I handed my body over ... like a torch to help him out of his dark places. I felt no shame. I was utterly unoriginal. To love a man more than one’s self was a socially acceptable way for a woman to be insane.

pg. 32: It was like taking one last look around a hospital room where someone I loved had died. And I cried, I couldn’t stop, it was a surprise. I thought my arroyo of grief had long ago dried up, leaving only an imprint of the storm.

pg. 49: I was young, future tense came naturally to me: Iré, irás.… I will go, you will go. I have always lacked talent for living in the here and now, and back then I was easily transported into luminous, unobtainable futures.

pg. 55: Where others saw indigo, I saw blue; where others saw teal, I saw green. It’s the draining away of color that happens in a woman’s life when she can’t name her own reality. It is only now that I am able to go back and color in the pale places, creating a mural on the walls of the life I now inhabit.

pg. 59-60: The truth is, some of our tenderest moments are the ones I am least likely to remember. It has to do with what I said about sleep, how women like me sometimes flee, letting loving words or glances melt on the hot pavement of some nameless fear. So forgive me if I embellish; even a conjured memory is better than no memory at all if you would dare to give your life what the world did not, a myth, a plot. Besides, I never intended to reconstruct him from memory, just from love, which may be the only way anyone can ever hope to get at the whole truth.

pg. 61: I knew the name but not the man.

pg. 63-64: Now I have reason to improve my Spanish. I have a word and a way of life to conjugate: Quiero, quieres, quiere, queremos.… To want and to love, the same thing! God, make this thing last. Make it last. I sound crazed, I know, but with good reason. My period’s due any moment, and I have found true love. The kind that pulls all of life in one direction. It’s too much. Already, his presence in my life is helping me forget all the sadness (what was it about?) that pulled me down for so long before he came. *** The thought of being with him forever is intoxicating. But I’ve got to be careful. I’ve got to stay in the present. The minute I get hung up on the idea of forever, on what will happen tomorrow, I ruin everything.

pg. 65: But I don’t need sleep, I don’t need food, just you, I answered. I unpeeled myself from him, removed myself like a bandage. The cruelty of limits stung: the need for sleep, food, a paycheck however small. If an hour were a house one could move into for good, I would have built a wall around the 2 o’clock hour, a brick wall arrayed against the disfiguring fury of the future.

pg. 66: We opened each other up like sacred books, Spanish on one side, English on the other, truths simultaneously translated.

pg. 68-69: But I’m deceiving myself again. Lying. For a long time after (he) I continued to believe a man could touch my essence, make me whole. All that time I could have been writing, touching the fires of my being and returning to the world, purified and strong. *** You see, I was one of those women who is at her best when she wants something very badly. The mating dance, the yearning and flirting, surrenders and manipulations—I was good at that, so good at the pursuit that when I actually got what I wanted, terror appeared. Terror that wore the silly mask of disappointment.

pg. 73: The few friends I had during that spell of my life quit calling; the word must have gotten out that (I) was in love. They knew I wouldn’t come out of the house, the house I drew with crayons, a house of primary colors I called love. The first time I fell in love, friends tried to tell me it was not real. To prove them wrong, I drew a keyhole on the front door and invited them to look through to the other side. See for yourselves, I said.

pg. 76: It’s dangerous for a couple to promise to stay married until they die. It’s better to vow to stay together until the marriage dies—and to do everything in their power to keep it alive. If you don’t think of marriage as a plant, fragile and in need of attention, then you’re asking for major trouble.

pg. 77: That’s what I hate about love. Bit by bit you start to give things up. You become like a good parent. But I love him so it’s all worth it. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.

pg. 81-82: Unfortunately (or fortunately?), wounds will often start healing even if you don’t want them to, even if you would rather die quietly in the corner of a cell. The body’s will to live sometimes is greater than that of mind or spirit.

pg. 86: Do I just let things continue until they fall apart? The warmth of her flesh is all I have to make me forget. But alcohol does the same thing. Am I using her? Or is she using me each time she looks at me and loves what is not there?

pg. 87: No, I haven’t forgiven myself for being disappeared from myself any more than I have forgiven him.

pg. 88: He carved that question mark into my heart and kept watch over it until I could wake up and cry out.

pg. 89-90: Things began to happen. There were times he didn’t call, times he didn’t say I love you, nonevents that hurt in little ways, like paper cuts, but that added up. It could be these nonevents had happened all along, the normal ups and downs of relationships. But at a certain point, I began to perceive that he was pulling away from me and thinking about other things. And fear ate at my heart like battery acid. But it’s very likely that I only imagined him pulling away, imagined the whole thing. You see, the fear I am best at is always based upon a myth. *** ... assumption that to survive one sometimes must flee all that is loved. This is what terrified me. His body was branded with the equation, love equals flight.

pg. 94: You see, real love is quiet as snow, without chaos, hard to write about.

pg. 95: They were not like the white God I’d had to kill, that women like me must kill if we are to have any hope of ever finding God. Nothing replaced Him for a long time. But looking back now I can see that the growing chaos inside blazed away dead growth, clearing a space, however violently, for God to be reborn.

pg. 96-97: There were so many moments I would rather not talk about but in this dark night of remembering, they are blooming like night flowers. *** When he didn’t call, my world shriveled. Fetal position. Blistered finger pad. Or when he called and didn’t say, I love you, I shattered, then mistook a piece of me for the whole, a mistake that disfigures women’s lives time and again. But I lacked the nerve to tell him how I was feeling.

pg. 101: Now, as I write this, I can’t remember the real me. It’s terrifying, that you can love someone so much that you lose your own self in the uproar. I can’t remember the me who loves September, who loves to walk or read.

pg. 117: But every woman should have a special place inside where she can think, where no man is allowed, a place that will, you know, endure. Why do you think I took up letter writing? No man is worth falling apart over. Take it from me.

pg. 146: love could not be used like a cage to make a man stay. What if the universe now was telling me that it might take even greater love to let someone go? But I was not capable of detachment.

pg. 155: And as it is at times with bones, my heart needed to be broken and reset properly so it could carry me through life.

pg. 163: I’m tired, frightfully tired. Like snake venom, this story’s medicine had to be drawn from my own body. Maybe you won’t even read this, I don’t know. Long ago I began this tale for reasons I could not yet articulate, maybe for no reason at all. *** Promesas are as dangerous as skydiving, leaps into thin air. Nothing frightens me more than an answered prayer. And nothing taxes a body more than giving something back to God. This is why I am so tired, why I have spent this day crying in my room.

(4-2-19/4-2-19)

#personal #book #quote #mexican-american writer

2 notes · View notes

fandom-madnessess · 8 years ago

Text

I Think You Need to Make a Move

StilesTwin asked: “Can you please do a story where werewolf packs are comin to Beacon Hills looking for a mate because they heard about a strong Spark living there then we see Derek's real possessive and protective side of Stiles and the pack is also protective because they see him as pack mom”

Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski Rating: T, Word Count: 1201 Fluff, Clothes Sharing, Spark Stiles, Scent Marking, POV Stiles ♥ Read on AO3

It would be cute if it wasn’t damaging the relationships with other packs.

‘Thank you for the lovely dinner,’ Rose, the Alpha of a pack near Phoenix, says. ‘We’ll be in town for a couple more days, maybe we’ll have coffee?’ She holds out her arms and Stiles steps into them for a hug. Werewolves give insanely good hugs, and he’s not about to pass up on one, even if the rest of the Hale-McCall pack is.

‘Su–‘

‘Sorry,’ Derek interrupts him. ‘We have a lot of other packs to meet with. I don’t think we have the time.’

‘I actually meant–‘

‘Yep, all booked up. Sorry,’ Erica adds her voice to Derek’s.

Actually, no, it’s not cute at all.

Stiles pulls away from Rose, gives her smile, then glares at his pack as he turns around. This is the fourth Alpha the pack has borderline insulted, all because they’re being nice to him. Rose is a great person, and her pack is peaceful and strong. They need more friends like that, and that’s not going to happen if they’re gonna keep acting like dipshits.

‘Give us a call if you have a spot open up,’ Dahlia says with a wink. Unlike her sister, Dahlia is human, but her hugs are just as good.

‘Will do,’ Stiles says. He barely manages a wave before the pack surrounds him and Scott ushers the visiting werewolves out the door.

He doesn’t say anything as he starts clearing the coffee cups, and puts Isaac and Liam on dishwashing duty. But he keeps his eye on the clock. Five minutes should do it.

‘What the fuck, guys?!’ he shouts the second the five minutes are up and he’s sure Rose and Dahlia are out of earshot. ‘Are you trying to start a war? Or do you still see me as the fragile little human that needs to be protected?’

Everyone freezes, except for Allison, who is also the only person who’s been acting normal while the North-American packs have been visiting Beacon County.

‘You were never fragile,’ Allison snorts, sipping her tea. ‘Pretty sure you’re the most terrifying person in this pack. After me, of course.’

‘Thank you! I think.’ Stiles crosses his arms and waits for an explanation from the others. ‘Well?’

‘Stiles,’ Scott starts, but then clamps his mouth shut.

The clinking of cups from the kitchen suddenly becomes a lot louder. The dishes will never have been this clean, Stiles thinks. The rest of the pack can’t keep their eyes on Stiles for more than a second, which confirms that there is definitely something going on.

‘Will someone just tell him?’ Boyd finally breaks the silence.

All eyes turn to Derek, who squares his shoulders, his cheeks red with guilt. ‘You’re a strong Spark, Stiles,’ he says.

‘I know. Hence the Emissary training.’

‘I mean, you’re really strong,’ Derek says. ‘It makes you very… wanted by other packs.’

‘I already have a pack. Are you telling me all these packs are here, because they’re trying to steal me away? Even though they already have an Emissary.’

‘Sparks don’t just make good Emissaries, they also make good mates,’ Derek explains, his eyes fixed somewhere over Stiles’ shoulder. ‘An Alpha mated to a Spark is the best way to balance out a pack. And the stronger the Spark, the stronger the Alpha.’

‘For fucks sake,’ Stiles groans. He throws his hands in the air in frustration. ‘So not only do I have a thesis to write, Emissary training with the world’s most cryptic teacher, but I also have to keep you all in line because you want to protect me from getting werewolf married into another pack and make sure I don’t accidentally insult these packs when I turn them down?’ He grabs the nearest chair and drops in it. Crossing his arms over his chest, he glares at Derek. ‘When the hell am I gonna have time to convince you to date me?’

Oops.

‘What?’ Derek asks.

‘What?’ Stiles parrots back, forcing an oblivious grin onto his face.

The house is completely quiet, even Isaac and Liam have paused their vigorous dishwashing.

‘Did you just–‘

‘No.’

Derek raises his eyebrows, eyes boring into Stiles’, pulling Stiles in. Stiles barely registers the flurry of movement at the edge of his vision as the rest of the pack exists the house.

‘Stiles.’ Derek’s voice is soft, and when he approaches Stiles it’s slow, like he’s approaching a baby deer. He lowers down in front of Stiles, balancing on his toes, knees touching Stiles’ shins. He gently pries Stiles’ arms off his chest. ‘You don’t have to convince me,’ he says.

‘Just so we’re a hundred percent clear, this isn’t because of the other packs, right?’ Stiles asks, his heart banging against his ribs. He leans forward, sliding his hands up Derek’s arms until they’re resting on Derek’s shoulders.

‘It’s not.’

‘I will put Nair in your shampoo if it is,’ Stiles warns him.

Derek rolls his eyes and raises his eyebrows, assuring Stiles that it’s really not because of the other packs. Stiles closes the distance between them, sliding off his chair and pushing Derek to the floor. He seals their lips together, sighing as he feels Derek’s hands on his hips, pulling him closer. He lets himself sink into the kiss, into the feeling of Derek’s lips against his, Derek’s hands roaming all over his body. Very persistently.

Stiles pulls back and sits up. ‘Are you trying to rub your scent all over me because Rose and Dahlia hugged me?’ he asks, unimpressed.

‘You smell more like them than like me, or like anyone else in the pack. It’s uncomfortable,’ Derek says. At least he has the decency to look a little embarrassed by it.

‘Take off your shirt,’ Stiles says, already pulling his own over his head.

Derek doesn’t move, except for his eyes, which roam over Stiles’ chest, then further down. Stiles throws his shirt in Derek’s face, his cheeks burning.

‘We’re not gonna have sex.’ A voice of protest rings through his mind.

Derek pulls the shirt off his face, smirking like he knows exactly what Stiles is thinking.

‘Not right now,’ Stiles adds. ‘You’re going to have to buy me dinner first, at the very least.’ He tugs on the hem of Derek’s shirt. ‘Take it off and give it to me.’

Derek finally does as he’s asked, and Stiles pulls Derek’s shirt over his head the moment it’s handed to him.

‘Better?’

‘I liked it better when it was off,’ Derek hums, dragging his nose from Stiles’ collarbone to right behind Stiles’ ear. ‘And now I’m the only one without a shirt.’

‘Do you really need one?’ Stiles asks, voice shaky, barely resisting the urge to drag his hands down Derek’s front. When Derek doesn’t answer he suggests, ‘Or you could wear mine.’

When he and Derek have coffee with Rose and Dahlia two days later, Stiles doesn’t miss Rose’s raised eyebrow, or the way she leans over and whispers something in her sister’s ear. He can’t hear what they’re saying, but when he glances at Derek, Derek’s grin says everything. They got the message, Stiles made his choice.

#sterek #eternalsterek #derekstiles #derek x stiles #teen wolf #my fic #my sterek

288 notes · View notes

pluckyredhead · 7 years ago

Text

Daredevil 101: Echo

Thanks for sticking with me through “Guardian Devil,” friends. Brighter days are ahead of us! Well, not for Matt, he’s going to continue to be abjectly miserable for about 12 years, but the comics are a lot better.

Today, Matt tries to process Karen’s death with a little rebound in “Parts of a Hole.” This is written by David Mack and the art is a collaborative process between him and Joe Quesada, blending Quesada’s more traditional (though still very experimental for the time) work with Mack’s paintings. The result is a book that definitely has some rough patches, but is visually stunning. (If Mack’s work looks familiar, it’s probably because his Alias covers were the inspiration for the Jessica Jones opening credits.)

[ETA: I was incorrect about the above - Mack did thumbnail layouts but the art is all Quesada.]

Also, it introduces Echo, and she’s the best.

This is how it starts:

Yeah, Matt’s not in a great headspace these days.

I think this page is mostly Quesada, with some Mack influences in the background and hand lettering. I’d love to know their creative process for this story, because this was still the early days of digital art and sending huge files to collab on was no small thing.

With the new headquarters of Nelson and Murdock still under construction, Matt seems to spend most of his time wandering around his palatial home in a robe, playing piano:

This isn’t really plot-relevant, but I couldn’t deprive you guys of it. Also, Matt must have made an insane salary working for Rosalind because he had no savings when she hired him and yet he apparently bounced back enough to get a place in Manhattan with floor-to-ceiling windows and fill it with a grand piano. (Quesada is the king of giving Matt ludicrous, implausibly expensive surroundings; in another miniseries Matt has an entire room dedicated to his collection of Japanese armor and weaponry.)

Matt is not the only piano player in this story, though. Meet Maya Lopez:

Maya is Cheyenne (and presumably Latina, going by her last name, though that’s not confirmed in the text). She was born deaf, but she can remember and perfectly mimic anything she sees. When her father, Willie “Crazy Horse” Lincoln, was killed, his employer became her legal guardian. Once the guardian realized she was a prodigy, he spared no expense getting her the best schools and tutors to allow her to develop her gifts to their full potential.

Maya is a celebrated concert pianist, boxer, performance artist, and more. Her body does everything she asks of it, and audiences love her story of overcoming the odds. (Don’t let the childish drawings fool you - she’s about Matt’s age. I like the conceit artistically, but it does make her come off as much younger than him or somehow emotionally arrested. I mean, I guess she is, since she hasn’t made peace with her father’s death, but no one’s more emotionally arrested that Matthew M. Murdock.)

And who is her munificent guardian? Oh, just Wilson Fisk.

Fisk’s narration at the bottom picks up some of the themes of “Guardian Devil” - that Matt’s problems are because the women in his life have failed him - and it’s gross. Also gross? That he’s about to pimp out his foster daughter in yet another effort to destroy Matt from the inside. STOP TRYING TO BREAK HIS HEART, WILSON. JUST FUCKING SHOOT HIM.

But yeah, even though Fisk does seem to genuinely care about Maya - and she loves him and has no idea he’s anything but a legitimate “spice dealer” - he also recognizes that Matt will be drawn to her due to their shared life experiences, and so he sends her to see him on some legal pretense.

Before that, though, Matt and Foggy have a client (who they’re seeing at Matt’s house, since the office is under construction). His name is Lenny, he’s a former employee of Fisk’s who wants to flip on him, and he’s got a speech impediment that Matt has no trouble with but Foggy can’t quite get a handle on:

The bullet grazes Matt’s cheek - and kills Lenny. Matt suits up and takes down the sniper - a weirdo of a hired killer named Murphy - but it’s too late to save their client.

The next day, Matt’s a little stiff and concussed, but Foggy’s a mess:

I think Foggy’s OTT emotional reaction here is supposed to be comic relief, but it’s worth remembering that in the last storyline Foggy was drugged and sexually assaulted, arrested on false charges, fired by his own mother because she thought he was a rapist, and lost his second best friend in the world to a horribly violent murder. So yeah, not a shock that he’s fragile right now:

Anyway, drink it in, friends: Matt holding Foggy while he cries and then someone assuming they’re boyfriends. Also, presumably Matt heard Maya come in but decided that Foggy was more important. Aw.

Maya tells Matt about the flimsy legal pretense Fisk sent her there on and they make plans to meet to discuss it in more detail while he’s wearing pants. (She’s an expert lip reader so as long as they’re facing each other there’s no problem with communication.) Matt is charmed because Maya is adorable and smells really good and Matt is profoundly vulnerable right now and also, as Wolverine once put it, “the biggest himbo that ever wore a pair of tights.” (That line is CANON, folks!)

Next, Maya goes to see Fisk and ask him a very important question:

Who killed Maya’s father? Why, Daredevil, of course.

Having a specific person to blame has a profound effect on Maya. She does her best to process this new information through her art, in a one-woman show she writes and choreographs called Echo:

The handprint on her face represents the bloody handprint her father left there as he died. (This page is pure Mack, btw.)

But just performing it isn’t enough. She needs revenge.

But first, she needs to meet Matt Murdock for coffee!

I love Maya’s description of Matt up there, which could come out of pretty much anything on AO3 today. (Maybe Charlie Cox really took this comic to heart while he was researching the character?) I also love that she is serving up a serious 1999 Look (TM) while he looks like a pallbearer.

Anyway, they are utterly smitten with one another and it’s super cute. They agree to see each other again and part happily.

A few hours later, Echo attacks Daredevil:

Right, so Matt obviously knows immediately that it’s Maya - I’m not even sure he knows she’s wearing a costume. (And the handprint doesn’t really hide her face anyway.) But unless Maya stops for long enough to read his lips, she’ll have no idea it’s Matt (even though he tries to tell her right away, which is admirable, but dude, don’t ever tell Foggy about that).

I have to say, Maya’s costume makes sense for “I’m a dancer in the late 90s who is gonna go do some parkour and kill a guy, what do I have in my closet that works?” but it’s pretty half-assed design-wise. It’s...a sports bra and pants and Docs. The feathers are a really lazy “Also, Native American!” addition. My kingdom for a redesign and series by a Native artist. (Maya’s plotline here only touches on her Cheyenne heritage in passing, but there’s a later vision quest storyline that’s...dicey.)

The fight is broken up when some kids appear and Maya doesn’t want them witnessing violence. Matt’s left trying to figure out why Maya’s trying to kill him.

Meanwhile, the Lenny case isn’t over! See, Lenny has a twin brother named Larry, and both he and Murphy (the sniper) are willing to testify against Fisk. The DA’s office makes Foggy a special ADA due to his familiarity with Fisk’s history and general badassery. To rattle him, Fisk hires Rosalind:

The absolute pair on you, Franklin. My God.

Taking this case is a sublimely shitty move on Rosalind’s part, of course, on multiple levels. (And yes, I know I said last time it would be the last time we saw her, but I’d forgotten about this. She’ll be back one more time in a few years, too.)

Foggy loses...and kind of flips out, openly calling Fisk a murderer and accusing him of buying off the jury. It’s not stated outright, but I have to imagine his mother coolly opposing him in court after abandoning him without a second thought didn’t help his emotional state.

As Fisk leaves the court, he’s attacked by Larry, looking to avenge his brother. Daredevil shows up, but too late:

Fisk falls into the river and is presumed dead. Matt takes the gun from Larry and is photographed holding it - and Maya, seeing the photos and the headlines, thinks Daredevil just killed her second father.

Meanwhile Foggy, still in his role as an ADA (with no acknowledgment from the story that he used to be DA), is tearing through Fisk’s organization while, uh, Matt faps to it:

ILU FOGGY YOU BEAUTIFUL AVOCADO

Oh, but Fisk’s not dead, of course:

Nope, just hanging out in the sewer eating rats. This is like the third time, idk why Daredevil characters always end up in the sewers but they super do.

Oh, and we get so Fisk backstory which clearly informed the show:

Baby Fisk kills some random dude with a hammer, not his dad - we don’t actually know what happens to his parents - but the hammer is there, as is the working class household full of fighting.

Meanwhile, Echo goes after Daredevil again - but when the cut from the earlier bullet graze opens up on his cheek, she remembers Matt’s injury and finally recognizes him:

Sigh. Did we really need that much sideboob, Quesada?

Anyway, Maya finally draws the inevitable conclusion: Fisk killed her father, not Daredevil. It’s not entirely clear why Willie would’ve asked his murderer to care for his child or why Fisk did it (side note: I’d love to know what kind of relationship, if any, Maya had with Fisk’s son).

And so Maya finally confronts her father’s killer:

Maya leaves town to figure herself out. Matt returns to the slow process of healing. And Fisk? Fisk gets the ironic ending. I’m not sure exactly where Maya shot him, but, well...

Next up: Bendis!

#daredevil #daredevil 101 #the lack of content warnings on this is so refreshing after last time #also please come talk to me about rosalind sharpe she fascinates me

39 notes · View notes

baronessblixen · 7 years ago

Text

Tinsel Madness

Day 5 of @thexmasfileschallenge: tinsel. Tagging @today-in-fic.

It's become yet another routine. Mulder, as soon as he wakes up, before he even opens his eyes, reaches over to her side of the bed. Check if she's there. Today, he finds nothing but a cool emptiness. Sighing, he opens his eyes. Her pillow is neatly fluffed up, the sheets just as neatly tucked in. No hint she's been here ever.

Mulder gets up and his bones creak and moan. He rubs his eyes as he walks into the bathroom hoping to see any sign that Scully has indeed been here last night. Nothing. Looking at himself in the mirror, he wonders if he's just dreamed her. He touches his lips, is certain her taste is still there. He looks at his hands, feels his skin tingle in the memory of her skin. Couldn't have been a dream. Or could it?

As he prepares to shave, he hears Daggoo whining in front of the bedroom door. Mulder goes to open it and lets the dog in. He bypasses Mulder with a wag of his tail before he gets comfortable on the bed.

"Hey, you know you're not allowed to sleep in there." The dog stares at him blankly. "You're right," he tells him walking back into the bathroom to shave, "It's a stupid rule. You better remember that I didn't come up with it. I let you sleep in the bed." It was of course one of Scully's rules. When she dropped Daggoo off at the house months ago, she brought too many toys, an insanely large blanket the dog doesn't even look at and a book of rules. One of which is the no paws on the bed rule. He read through the list with way too many rules, way too many idiosyncrasies, and told her he had a rule for her too: she'd have to come visit. In their one step forward, half a step backward dance this was a big step. Scully blushed, nodded, petted the dog and left the house. But Scully, never one to break the rules, came by every weekend. The first few times she insisted on driving back into the city. Until one Friday night when she turned to him half-asleep asking if she could stay. Mulder nodded mutely and watched her walk upstairs to their bedroom. A few moments later he followed her as if in trance. That one night turned into every weekend. Neither talks about these nights; the implications of what it might mean for them and their relationship too heavy, their hearts still too fragile.

But Mulder knows exactly what he wants. Which is why he's come up with a plan. Ever since he's known her, Scully has loved Christmas time. All of it. He remembers going to her apartment back in the day being greeted by handmade wreaths. The inside was always decorated with tinsel garlands and trinkets. She'd insist on Christmas music whenever they were in the car and sometimes even in the office. Even while they were on the run, she always managed to find some Christmas decoration to make whatever hotel room they called their home look festive. Mulder has not been to her new apartment in the city and they don't talk about that place so he doesn't know if she's decorated it at all. It doesn't matter either way. His plan, and he is stupidly proud of it, is to make this house, their home, look like Christmas has moved in. And maybe, just maybe, it'll make her see what she's missing out on. If not, at the very least, it will make her smile.

Daggoo follow him downstairs once he's dressed. Mulder grins as he walks down the stairs. The living room is blinking colorfully at him. There's light everywhere. His electricity bill will be hell, he knows it, but he couldn't care less. He flicks a switch and a dancing Santa starts singing Merry Christmas. If only Scully were here to see it.

"I didn't dream her, did I?" He asks Daggoo. The dog blinks, tilts his head. "No, I didn't dream it. She was here last night –Thursday. Breaking her own rules, right, boy?" The dog, once again, doesn't react. "So, Daggoo, what do you say? This room needs some more tinsel, I think. What do you think? Where did I put the tinsel?" He is certain he put it into the basket right by the tree. The basket is still there but the tinsel is not.

"I know I put it there." Mulder mumbles and turns around. His eyes land on Daggoo. Oh no. Oh no, no, no. "Daggoo, come here boy." The dog obeys, softly wags his tail. Mulder opens the dog's muzzle and his heart skips a beat. He reaches inside and takes out a stray strand of tinsel.

"You ate the tinsel!" Quickly, Mulder gathers the dog in his arms. A vet. There has to be a vet close by. He puts Daggoo down again and dons his coat, checks for his phone and his wallet, his car keys. Right. He doesn't have car keys. Scully has the car. "Fuck." He mutters under his breath as he presses a few buttons on his phone. "Pick up, Scully. Pick up." She doesn't. Mulder looks at the dog; Daggoo is ready to fall asleep and Mulder has no idea whether that's a good idea or not. Probably not. Google tells him that the closest vet is only three miles away. Another glance at Daggoo and Mulder decides he can't wait. He picks up the dog and then he is out the door.

Holding Daggoo with one arm, he presses the phone to his ear and calls Scully. The cold wind bites into his skin and makes his eyes water.

"Hey Scully, it's me… I have bad news. Wait, no. That's not how I want to start this. I have news. Or not even that," he catches his breath, no longer used to talking while he's in haste, "I'm on my way to the vet. Daggoo… he… he… I'm on my way to the vet. I just wanted to tell you. I'm sorry, Scully. I'm so sorry. I didn't think. When do I ever, right? The tinsel. The tinsel I bought for the house… he ate it. All of it. I'm so sorry, Scully. I'm taking him to the vet." His throat burns and he hangs up. No goodbye necessary. If something happens to the dog, she'll never forgive him. He'll never forgive himself. "You hang on, Daggoo." He whispers into the dog's warm fur before he starts running.

When Mulder finally reaches the street, he has no idea how much time has passed. He slows his steps, has to, and clings to Daggoo who is looking up at him with a curious look.

"Mulder!" At first he's convinced he's imagining Scully's voice. There's no way she can be here. But she's walking towards him and Daggoo, recognizing her, turns impatient in his arms.

"Scully? How are you here? Did you get my message?" His voice is hoarse, his arms heavy. Scully strokes Daggoo's head and the dog leans towards her, tries to lick her hand.

"I did. Mulder, Daggoo didn't eat the tinsel."

"What? He must have. It was gone this morning."

"He didn't eat it, Mulder. I took it."

"What?

"I thought you didn't need it anymore. Mulder, every inch of our house is covered in Christmas decorations already if you haven't noticed. I wanted to use the tinsel to bring some festiveness to our office." But he barely hears her last words.

"Our house."

"What?"

"You said our house just now. That's what you said, Scully."

"Well, it is. Isn't it?" Instead of at him, she's looking at Daggoo. The dog, tired from being carried and jostled around, is finally giving in to sleep.

"Yes, it is." Mulder agrees. "So I ran three miles for nothing. Daggoo didn't eat any tinsel and there is no reason to take him to the vet." Scully nods and laughs softly. Then, her hand still on the dog, she gets on tiptoes and kisses his cold lips. Mulder sighs against her, smiles.

"Let's go home, Mulder. I think you need a warm shower. I think I might too." He can't argue with that.

"Hey Scully?" She looks at him. "Last night… I didn't dream what happened last night, did I? I didn't dream that we… you were there, right?"

"Of course I was there, Mulder. Where else would I have been?" Damn right, he thinks with a smile as he gets in the car to go home.

#instead of kidfic i wrote daggoo fic #msr #xf fanfic #my fic #my writing

143 notes · View notes

cmbynreviews · 7 years ago

Text

"Call Me by Your Name" director Luca Guadagnino on Armie Hammer, sequels, and screen intimacy

The new film Call Me by Your Name is about a life-changing affair between young Elio (Timothée Chalamet) and grad student Oliver (Armie Hammer), but what went on behind the scenes was just as significant. As Hammer told us recently, director Luca Guadagnino fostered an environment on set that both protected his actors and challenged them to be as honest as possible in their work. The result is an acclaimed film where the stars do the best work of their lives, but it also continues in the intense relationship between the stars and Guadagnino. The director has described it as “a very profound familial bond with the people I’m doing the movies with, where you literally and constantly fall in love with all of them,” and in the following interview, he expands on that notion, addresses some of the think pieces about the movie, and talks more about his hope of making sequels to it.

When did you entertain the idea of casting Armie as Oliver? Since I got to meet him in The Social Network, really. I was impressed by that film and there was a great generation of actors in it: Just think that Dakota Johnson was there, Rooney Mara was there, Andrew Garfield, Jesse Eisenberg. And then there were these two brothers, who I really thought were two brothers because I couldn’t believe someone could do that digitally. I thought, “no, nobody can act that way”, when in fact it was Armie, twice. So after [Guadagnino’s 2008 Tilda Swinton film] I Am Love came out, I had the privilege of meeting him. We generally spoke about life for two or three hours and I loved him. I had a sudden and immediate attraction to him.

What was your read of him in that meeting? I like the way he speaks, I like the words he uses, his buoyancy, his enthusiasm. But I also like that with him, suddenly he has a shift of humor. He can become kind of melancholic without even controlling it. He’s not someone who is in command of his own expression in an artificial way. And for me, fragilities are important when you work with someone. Of course you want someone who can give a performance, who is acting, but even more, I want someone who is able and eager to let the camera investigate him or her deeply. As you know, I wasn’t part of this movie as a director, for a long time. Originally, I was a producer.

James Ivory was supposed to direct, with Shia LaBeouf cast as Oliver, correct? Right, in the Ivory version. We tried to make the movie with Jim and we didn’t succeed. It’s one of the great regrets of my life, as an admirer of Jim’s work. I would have been happy not only to see a new movie by James Ivory, but also to be producing it. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen because the rules of the market – or, as Renoir would say, the rules of the game – are sometimes quite cruel. Despite the fact that ageism is a significant problem when it comes to cinema, I personally believe that one of the most exciting things for me as a cinephile is to witness a new movie from a very old director. James and Shia would have been another movie, and every avenue was tried, but the only way it could see the light was if I directed it for five weeks with no money.

So I thought of my passion for Armie and I sent him the script. After a week, I heard, “He wants to talk to you.” What I didn’t know is that he was going to pass. So he picks up the phone, “Hey, how are you,” and it becomes a long conversation. He goes, “I’m scared about this role.” Why? “I don’t know. I’m scared.” I told him, “If you’re scared, it might mean that you want something.” Which could sound like a sleazy way of approaching somebody, but the truth is that fear and desire are the polarizing elements of most of our actions. I think Armie wanted to have that fear and act it out.

What did you interpret his fear as? I don’t think it was, “Oh no, I don’t want to play a gay character,” because he had already done that twice.

In J. Edgar … … and in a film with Stanley Tucci, Final Portrait. Long story short, I think the complexity of the project from his standpoint was, “Will I be able to let myself be the medium through which a lot of complex, intimate emotions can be expressed?” But he is a mine of gold, and I am the digger.

I don’t think most directors had done much digging with him. Probably there is a sense that things have to fit the mold. Maybe they thought the mold of Armie belongs to a different era of filmmaking, but I think the mold of Armie is the mold of cinema, with a capital C. I do believe in that.

He talks about making the movie as though he were still in love with it. Wait til we do the sequels.

He said it’s really changed him. I’m happy. I like transformative things. I welcome transformation in my life and I like transformation in other people’s lives. I like to be the agent of it.

So how were you transformed by making this film? I simplified my approach. I have more trust in the power of the language of cinema without [additional] style. And to understand that I am capable of loving multiple times with multiple people, but also to be faithful in every sense of the word to the love of my life. Also, I aged making this movie.

What were you like when you were 17, Elio’s age? I was a very lonely, skinny, melancholic visionaire. I was in Palermo, and I was really invested in pushing the envelope. I remember at that age, I convinced the principal of my school to be the director of the play at the end of the year. I did Ionesco, and it was crazy. It was insane!

What did you do? The title of the piece was Excessive in Extremis. And it fortified me because it was a catastrophe of sorts. There was not much of an audience, and to make something so personal, motivated by the impulse of doing something strong no matter what, and then to get the reception we got …

What was that like? Oh, the fury of the principal when she saw the thing! You know, when I went to [the Venice Film Festival] years later with The Protagonists and there was booing in the movie theater, I thought, I don’t care. I already got my boos at 17. I trained myself for that, I would say.

Why were you lonely at 17? I was not like Elio. Elio jumps on the dance floor and is divine, but I wasn’t that kid. I was sitting in the corner, looking at people dancing. It was shyness, it was maybe embarrassment, but also I think it was the great position of control.

You were shy in your personal life, but bold in your art. Very much.

Had you been with men by the time you were 17? I desired them, but I wasn’t until I was 22.

Why not? Well, I was very picky, also! And I didn’t know anything about sex and love and interaction. Maybe I was too cerebral.

Were you with girls? No, I’ve never been with girls, honestly. I regret that. This is a very analytical conversation, but now that I’m talking to you, I made a difficult and stupid choice at that age of falling in love with my best friend, who was straight. Later, I met this guy when I was 22, and the second we had intercourse, I didn’t want to be with him anymore, and I left.

Why? You were afraid? I don’t know. I felt depressed. I like sharing things, I like a community, I like to be with my friends and get to know new people, but when you’re 22 in Palermo and you get this young man and you feel the emotion for the first time of this physical encounter, it excludes everything. You’re not so sure if you can go to your friends and say, “That’s the boy I’m dating.” People could not say that easily in 1988 in Palermo. I had to leave this encounter with him and only him. I had to learn in time to bridge my personal feelings and emotional encounters with my life as part of a community.

How did you bridge that? I completely dismissed the notion of self-censorship and being a prude.

How do you foster a safe place for people to do things on camera that they’ve never done before, that they might be hesitant to do? I have been with the makeup artist and editor for 25 years, have made three movies with the same DP. It’s family. It’s a nontoxic environment. I really invite the actors’ collaboration not just as performers, but to really participate in making the film 100 percent. Also, I’m very blunt. I don’t tell lies, not when I’m making a movie. It can be a beautiful thing to be direct, because people are rarely direct.

How does that collaboration work with the actor when you’re shooting something like the scene where Elio masturbates with a peach? That is the perfect example. I was struggling with the scene since I read it in the book. I thought it was a scene that can only play in a book, because you could go into your imagination. I also thought it was a metaphor for sexual impulses and energy. I didn’t believe in the actual physical possibilities of masturbating yourself with a peach. In translating this into a movie, I was both admiring Aciman’s work and dreading Aciman’s work, and I knew that scene was kind of infamous for readers of the book. I’ll tell you, Kyle, many times I said, “We have to remove this from the script.” I didn’t want something that could be exploitative, sensationalist, or even involuntarily ridiculous. So it was a process, a long process.

What convinced you it could work? One day I tried, physically, to masturbate myself with a peach because I was asking Timothée to do it as a character, and I wanted to prove to myself that it was not doable so we would not have to do it. And actually, when I got the fruit and put my finger in the fruit and started to debone it, already that act gave me a cinephile memory, reminding me of a great moment in this version of Madame Bovary [called Abraham’s Valley] by Manoel de Oliveira, the great Portuguese filmmaker. In it, the Bovary character is young and full of lust, she wants to fuck this guy. She sees a flower, she grabs this flower, and she puts her finger into the flower. It’s an incredible scene about the sensuality in all things. So I thought, “Finally, we have a lead here that can make this scene doable.” Then I tried to put the deboned peach on me and it actually worked, it wasn’t just a metaphor! So I threw the peach away, composed myself, and went to Timothée and told him, “Timmy, I tried the peach myself, and it works. We can film the scene.” And he goes, “Of course it works! I tried it myself as well.”

What did you shoot that you didn’t include? Much. There is a scene that happens under the lime tree where Elio and Oliver are teasing one another – this is before they kiss. It was a very well-acted scene, but we felt in a way that it was too precious, that it wasn’t necessary to delay the moment where they would confess to one another. Then there was a scene after they made love. In the movie, there is still a piece of it, where they’re kissing under the moonlight, and what I shot is that the scene happens at the same time as the father and mother are in their bedroom, hearing the muffled voices coming from the garden. The mother is putting creams on, the father is reading a book, and they are looking one another in the eye and smiling. She goes to the bed, he touches his wife, he smells the creams on her, and they start to make love. I’m sorry for cutting the scene because it’s quite beautiful, and it’s beautiful to see adults having their moment of sex. That, we will definitely put in the extras of the film [on home video].

Some writers have said the film is not explicit enough. It’s really something I don’t understand. It’s as if you said there are not enough shots of Shanghai. I don’t understand why there has to be Shanghai in this movie.

There is plenty of sex and foreplay and sensuality in it, though the complaint is that we don’t see Oliver and Elio engage in actual intercourse. Did you shoot anything like that? We shot some things, but one thing is important to say: We didn’t have any limitations. I also think it may be my unconscious knowledge that many gay films pride themselves on being explicit. It’s almost like a subgenre! Listen, there is a book by William Burroughs called Queer, which I wrote a script for when I was 20. I was completely naïve, although I would love to make that film. That is a movie where you need to see the actual sex because, as per Burroughs’s descriptions, it’s about the war that is excavated inside him: The character Lee is infatuated with Allerten and it devours him. You have to show how the sex and the impossibility of the relationship is informing their behavior, and I agree that a version of that film cannot be shy about the sex. But why this?

Do you think Call Me by Your Name is shy about sex? There is sperm on the torso [of Oliver], which he wipes off! I don’t know. It is cheap voyeurism, I would say. Because I am a voyeur myself, I pride myself on a more dignified and sophisticated sense of voyeurism than a need to stare at other people’s sexes.

It’s been interesting, too, to see how people have reacted to the notion of a sequel. Sequels. I want to make five movies.

Do you already have in mind what you would do? The second, I have very much in mind. I think I want to see them grow up. How great would it be to see those actors grow older, embodying those characters?

Is the whole notion of a sequel something that sprung up from the years-later epilogue of the book? It sprung out of my love for these characters and my desire to visit them again, and in doing so, to be with the same people I did this movie with.

At what point did you start mulling over this idea? Sundance. Because I didn’t completely realize until then that they were characters who could go beyond the boundaries of the film.

I think some people would prefer that the characters not go beyond the boundary of the film, because the ending with Elio is so powerful. It would not remove the power of the final shot of this film, because that is about him being 18. What we would see in the sequel is him being 25.

The film is also about the intensity of first love. By necessity, the second film would be and feel different. Maybe in the sequel, Elio and Oliver only meet after two hours of the movie. I want to follow them, Mr. Perlman, Marzia, all these people. Maybe the movie opens with how Mafalda the maid is living in the house, all alone! I definitely would buy myself the freedom of a movie that is not bound to a textbook of rules. Once, I dreamt of making a sequel to I Am Love, which was basically about Emma, Tilda’s character, living with no money on the periphery of Rome. It would be about her daily routine, like Chantal Akerman’s Jeanne Dielman. Five hours of watching Emma go to the supermarket where she’s a cashier, going home to cook a meal, eating her meal, and then one day she bumps into the daughter, who’s a big artist. I thought about doing that. The only problem for me is that for a director, time is very limited in general. You can do a certain amount of films and no more than that.

You know, I am 46. To make a movie is long. I have to learn how to discipline my ambitions.

KYLE BUCHANAN | VULTURE | 17 Nov 2017 | (Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

#Call Me by Your Name #Guadagnino #timothee chalamet #armie hammer #andre aciman #james ivory #reviews #CMBYN #Elio #Oliver #Perlman #Chiamami col tuo nome

12 notes · View notes

bangtan-spells · 8 years ago

Text

Yoongi Scenario: Tainted Love - Part 13.

Request: Could you make one with Yoongi being some sort of demon/vampire boss that every one is super scared of but then there is Y/N, Yoongi is in love with her and everyone is always super impressed how Yoongi always surrenders and softens when something is about her? He’s super protective and wants to please her in his own way, thank you for doing this i love you

Summary: Demons are merciless, demons are ruthless, demons can’t hold nothing dear to them. Yoongi is the leader, the king of the demon world. He is feared as he is respected, no one expected him to bring a human girl as his lover, you. You fell in love and now you are in the midst of adjusting to the demon world, its custums, and its dangers. But everything is worth it if is for him, the demon king that lives between shadows and that would turn hell apart to protect you.

Demon AU. Featuring all BTS.

Genre:Romance / Drama.

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / 14 / 15 / 16 / 17

You held onto Yoongi’s hand as he transported you directly to his room, when you appeared there you saw no sign of the others so you guessed they went their own way. The trip to the warlock’s left you with a bitter flavor in your mouth, it felt like you hadn’t made much progress but at the same time you felt like you had discovered a whole lot of new things. Taehyung’s past was one of them, or at least what you thought it was.

Yoongi had walked to plop down on one of the chairs as he poured a drink for himself and chugged it down in one go as he hissed, you were startled by it until you saw him properly, you hadn’t realized his current state due to the shock of the last minutes at the warlock’s stone house, but now that you were watching him properly your eyes fixed in the skin of his hands, a bit of chest and part of his neck, how the leather of his jacket was worn like it was burned, how in his skin it extended burns.

-Yoongi- you gasped going to him to see the wounds from up close, how you hadn’t noticed it before. -What is this? Was it because of the…?-

He noddded. -It’s alright-

You saw him and the wounds again, his skin was of an intense pink almost red, they looked like serious raw burns that would have had any man screaming, but he was “alright”.

-No way, you have to treat these, how? because of the warlock?-

Yoongi nodded staring down at his own hands with an annoyed face. -Next time I see him if he hasn’t anything useful I’d cut his throat-

-I’ll go get Jin- you said going to the door.

Yoongi snorted. -He can’t do much with his power, I’d have to transfer these burns to him and we will be in the same position, It’s alright-

You glared at him. -I’ll come back, stay here-

Yoongi groaned. -Y/N! Where are you….- but you were gone out of there door.

You came back with Jin and Hoseok, both of them watching Yoongi with grim faces. Jin was watching the wounds carefully and he shook his head.

-I can take some of it away but…-

Yoongi shook his head. -It’s fine-

-Y/N, I told him we should have gotten a doctor or a healer or something of the sort a while ago but he doesn’t listen-

-Stop nagging like a little pussy- Yoongi barked at Hoseok who made a obscene gesture in response.

You were a bit impressed by Hoseok but you could only glare at Yoongi at the moment, of course he didn’t take any help that easily.

Jin gave you a little box. -This is an ointment that would do him well-

-That is if he doesn’t act like a brat and cooperates- Hoseok spat and Yoongi huffed. -Y/N trick him with anything if you must, but put it on him-

You nodded smiling a little at both of them. -Thank you guys, it is appreciated- you said as you walked them out of the room. -Yoongi will say thank you later- that made both of them laugh and Yoongi grumble a few curses on the back.

-So, should I trick you into this?-

Yoongi shrugged, his gaze suddenly amused. -You could try-

You shook your head. -This is not the time for games, you are hurt- you walked until you were in front of him and assessed how you should go on, if you kneeled Yoongi would take advantage of you for sure but then if you sat in his lap he’d do that faster. You’d have done it just for fun but right now wasn’t the best moment. Sighing you saw him arching a brow.

-What?-

-I’m worried- you stated approaching him by a side, you opened the little box and scrunched your nose, it smelled like sulfur. -About you, about the sorcery thing, even about Taehyung, he was…shaken-

Yoongi nodded, you extended a hand and he sighed, groaning while taking off his jacket to then give in as he let you hold his right hand so you could apply the ointment. -It is complicated-

-Jimin told me about it- you said as you smeared the ointment in his hand as carefully as you could although you could see it was uncomfortable for him. -Not about Taehyung but about demons and warlocks, the taboo-

-It is a crime Y/N- Yoongi said gravely. -It’s not just a thing-

-I know, I just… I think it was really, supportive, how you handled the situation- Yoongi shrugged and extended you his other hand when you asked for it, you put in on carefully. -Now I’ll put it on your neck, you need to stay still-

-Y/N, this puts me on edge, hurry up- you grumbled.

-What? me touching you?-

He shook his head. -You seeing me like this-

You took more of the ointment and bent down next to him to be able to put it on his neck. -I’ll be done in a second- you whispered as you tried to do the task delicately. -You don’t need to be like that, although you can be sure I don’t like you being hurt-

This time you had to sit on his legs as he lifted his head for you to put the ointment on his neck, then you unbuttoned his shirt and carefully put ointment high on his chest near his collarbones, at least it wasn’t as burnt as his hands. After you were done you stayed like that for a moment and hugged him feeling a bit too sensible to walk away from him, Yoongi sighed kissed the top of your head as you cradled in his lap resting your head on his shoulder careful to not touch the wounds.

-This will heal- he assured after a moment of silence. -It might take a few days because dammed Bruma knows what he’s doing, but it will heal, either way I’m fine like this- he said like he was trying to ease you, and it did, but somehow you knew Yoongi was trying to ease himself, after all you very well knew how he hated weakness on himself. You thinking or seeing him weak must be hard for him although you found those thoughts unnecessary.

You lifted your head to kiss his lips gently although the touch grew in intensity rather quick, you straddled him and tangled your fingers in his hair but when you felt Yoongi hands on your butt you stopped and stood up.

-What?-

-We can’t-

-Nonesense of course we can- he said with a dark smirk, with that shirt unbotunned and his hair all tousled he looked beyond hot and it made you ache for him.

A part of you was tempted for a moment, but then the smell of sulfur and the bright pink of the burns sobered you up, you didn’t doubt Yoongi could fuck you senseless at that moment, but for now it was best to wait. Being that today you were being fairly prudent you decided to keep it up for both your sakes.

-Later-

-Now-

-Can you at least wait until the ointment absorbs?- You glared at each other and then you laughed and Yoongi snorted but he was amused with your little quarrel, about sex of all things.

-I’ll go for a walk, alright?- you said brushing your hair with your fingers, Yoongi frowned.

-What? No-

-It will be good- you assured. -I’ll go while you..settled down- you said as your eyes went to his crocth and then his eyes again and you couldn’t help your laugh.

-I’ll be collecting all this Y/N, know that, you’re in a serious debt now- he said serving himself another shot.

-I hope so!- you laughed and went out of the room before he could retaliate.

You went out of the room still with a smile on your face, it was good to be playful with Yoongi. You loved that about him, the big contrasts in his behavior and his personality. Sometimes he was dangerous and violent, others he was soft and playful, it was something crazy but somehow you couldn’t label it as bad, although you knew a lot of the things he did were awful, but you thought about Yoongi and you just couldn’t.

Your immediate intention was to grab a coffee and maybe look for Jimin, you needed to study but then your books were in the room and if you were to comeback then Yoongi would not let you go out. It was an excuse to not study and deep down you knew it so you went on and went looking to see if Jimin was around. You weren’t exactly sure what they did in their free time, or even if they were free at the moment.

You hesitated for a second, they were forced to be with you all the time and now you went looking for them, maybe it was better to find something to do by yourself.

The manor was insanely beautiful, before walking alone through the lone hallways would give you goosebumps as the ambiance seemed a bit leery, too shady perhaps, but now you started to feel you were used to it, the silence, the sudden echoes and the occasional screams that could be heard didn’t startled you, at least not that much.

You walked into one of the lounge rooms, one that you already knew had some sort of dinning area to ask someone for a coffee and then you saw Jungkook. He was eating or finishing eating meat, you thought about what had happened earlier, how he had jumped to stop Taehyung from doing something that could have had meant the end of their already fragile alliance. To you their relationship seemed very deep, not only were they together most of the time, but there was a trust that was unique between them.

-Stop staring- he said and you frowned turning your head. It’s makes me... it’s weird- he said a bit more quietly.

-Sorry- you smiled a little. -I was just thinking-

Jungkook arched a brow and at that moment he reminded you of Yoongi, you forgot sometimes they were related, they didn’t look alike but it was those simple gestures that made you see the resemblance.

-About today, you know…-

He nodded. -What? What are you going to say?-

He was very direct, not like Jimin who was more hesitant to talk or lighthearted like Jin, he just said what he needed to say without adding more. -Nothing, it just… it shocked me, but I guess that explains a lot-

Jungkook snorted. -What does it explain to you? and I don’t mean to be rude to you Y/N or anything but…-

You shook your head. -No, it’s ok, I said it wrong, I meant it shouldn’t have been easy for him-

-He shouldn’t have been born- Jungkook said putting down his knife. -He’s unnatural even for us, and everyone has disowned him no matter how strong he is, for us that’s all that matters, strength and power, but then someone like Taehyung is unnatural- he snorted again. You looked around to see if anyone was there, when you saw no one, not even a servant to ask for coffee you sat in the same table as Jungkook.

-That’s sad, but I think… that with you all he doesn’t feel that way, am I wrong?-

Jungkook sighed. -It is something that goes with him, I don’t expect you to understand Y/N-

-Oh it is ok, I didn’t mean to you be nosy, though you know I kind of am too curious for my own good-

That made him smile a little. -Yes, I’ve noticed… the thing with Taehyung and why he’s like he’s… you can say it all comes down to how he was born, and with you what can I say, he hated your guts, even tried to pull me in into accidentally murdering you-

At that you went still opening your mouth but not knowing what to say. -Yoongi knows about it, so don’t worry, it’s not like it’s a secret anyways-

-Why hate me that much? I haven’t done anything to him and I don’t judge him and I didn’t even know that…-

-It’s not because of you- Jungkook sighed again. -It’s because of Yoongi- you frowned and Jungkook frowned too like you were retarded for not getting it. -Do you know how many demons like him are alive? how many have a high rank or how many can even sit down with the leader? He wouldn’t have been given a decent spot in one of the armies, but Yoongi took him in, he took us in, if he is killed because of you then he… we, we would also lose a lot-

You nodded, you knew you were a liability if someone else just saw you as a human, weak. But then now you knew you were more than just a human to Yoongi, not pet, neither a toy. And because you knew the truth you could understand a little better. -What you mean us? You?-

Jungkook looked down and seemed to regret a little what he said. -Not like Taehyung, I… he should have killed me, and he could have, since we share blood I’m a threat to him, but he didn’t do it, and thus no one else tried to do it either, so he took us in, and thus the other demons of this very same domain don’t go against us, they think Yoongi controls us, a lot of demons say that he had succeeded because he’s very deceiving and controling, and even if he does those things, it is about much more than that, I don't think he controls us, not really, but he accept us- Jungkook shrugged. -Why did I tell you all this? What are you doing here?-

You smiled a little, maybe he was a bit too bottled up and needed to vent, but you wouldn’t be saying that as you suspected it would embarrass him, how ironical how each time you seemed to find more and more things in common between your race as theirs, when you were always trying too hard to internalize you were different. You could find someone to control you anywhere, but acceptance was a rare thing, and thus, even in the world of demons it was a hard thing to understand, to see.

-I came for coffee actually- Jungkook squinted his eyes not entirely believing your intention and you laughed. -It’s the truth! It was nice talking to you though, I think it was the first time hearing you speak this much-

Jungkook shrugged and again the gesture made you think of Yoongi. yet again -Taehyung doesn’t see you as a threat anymore, he no longer wants to kill you, just for the record-

-That’s a relief- you smiled. -Where is he now?-

-Who knows, doing his thing, training, steaming it out-

You nodded seeing one of the servants coming and a few seconds later Jimin to whom you made signs to come join you.

Jimin ate something as you had coffee, it was quiet between the two and by Jimin’s attitude you guessed that he knew what had happened earlier, and he knew about Taehyung.

-Where is master?-

-He’s resting a little-

Jungkook and Jimin raised their brows and then looked at each other and laughed like calling you out on the lie, you sighed.

-I don’t know, he should have rest, but of course he must be doing something else-

-He must be with Namjoon talking about what we should do, gathering more teams- Jungkook explained.

-Right, if you should do something by yourselves or just wait for the warlocks-

Jungkook nodded and Jimin did it as well in agreement.

-I’m learning a lot thanks to you all, now that you are going to be seeing me a whole lot more now I thought it was good to say that-

Jungkook shrugged like it was irrelevant to him and Jimin smiled a little your way.

You heard some laughter and steps, of course you didn’t know well who it was, they saw you staring at the doors of the lounge curiously and Jungkook grinned with a tinge of mischief.

-Want to learn something more?-

You went outside and carefuly walked in the direction of the laughter, your curiosity was peaking as to what would Jungkook had in mind, you knew he had a mischievous side but seeing it like this was amusing, Jimin followed you and then he turned his head sharply. You were startled for a moment until you saw Taehyung coming your way.

-Hey- he called. -What are you doing? To whom are you sneaking around?- he asked deviously, the angst from earlier completely gone.

-Going to show Y/N our latests and oldest couple- Jungkook answered after giving Taehyung an awknowloging look.

-A couple?- you gasped with even more curiosity. You thought about Jin and Enra and how you really wanted to see her in person, but then he had said latests and Enra had been Jin’s partner for quite a good while.

-Here- he said when you reached the top of a stair that had a balcony and below you could have a view of a salon.

You saw the girl, or the female demon, she had pretty auburn hair that fell mid length to her back, she was a bit small in heigh but had a great contexture, it showed she had great physical condition, she was dressed in dark tight pants and a some sort shirt that left her back exposed, she was pretty in a fresh natural way. She was talking with Hoseok and you had never seen him smiling like that.

-Hoseok has had a crush on Hana for over fifty years now-

-What?- you gasped turning your face to Jungkook who was already snickering.

Jimin had an awkward smile and Taehyung his typical smirk. -We are sick of seeing them, might as well fuck already-

-Maybe they are shy- you put that out not wanting to be mean, but fifty years was more than half a lifetime for you. -They haven’t….? How you know?-

-I can tell when someone is fucking someone- Taehyung assured like that was another one of his great demonic abilities. -And they are not, she wants to be fucked though- he observed from the balcony.

-Hoseok would behead you with his teeth before that happens- Jungkook scoffed like he knew what Taehyung was thinking-

-I don’t get it, why don’t they… I mean… why aren’t they together if they like each other that much?-

-Hoseok thinks Hana should go with someone else- Jimin said for the first time making you turn to him. -I think he… loves her-

-They should be together, I would-

-Now Y/N, not everyone is a go getter like you- Taehyung mocked and you rolled your eyes, you had felt bad for him but he kept being annoying, which was normal so you guessed it was ok. You thought for a moment in Yoongi and that indeed you two had gone straight to the point without much delay. You felt a bit bad for him, you were here gossiping while he had those wounds, best thing was to go check on him.

You were going to ask just one more question about Hana and Hoseok and what was happening between them and then you heard more voices only that this time you could recognize one of them, Yoongi’s voice, low and smooth you leaned to the edge a bit more and you frowned at what you saw. Yoongi wasn’t alone, but with nother female, this one beautful as Hana but while Hana was fresh this other demon looked like a femme fatale, she had long red hair and a curvy body that was barely covered by a tiny leather suit. You admitted she was very attractive, but you didn’t understand what was he doing with her.

-Who is she?- you asked and you were afraid your voice betrayed a little of what you were feeling.

Taehyung and Jungkook looked at each other and then at you.

-We could make a pact Y/N, for the intel- Taehyung offered making Jungkook laugh and Jimin gasp.

-Hey!-

-Ease it out- Taehyung patted Jimin’s back. -We are going to give Y/N all the info she’s craving for free-

You were frowning, seeing how they interacted with each other, they seemed familiar which made you feel weird. You weren’t used to see Yoongi being familiar with anyone, even less women-

-It’s all in the past Y/N- Jungkook assured with a few nods.

-What is?-

-Her name is Sonya- Taehyung begun to whisper as he bent a little next to you. -She’s the leader of one of the squad, the same as Hana, and she happens to be Yoongi’s… how do you say when you used to fuck?-

You inhaled sharply and turned to him to glare. -Stop it-

-I’m not lying missy, trust me, I know about these things, everyone knows, as everyone heard them, at some point-

You felt the anger burning in you, bubbling up like you were going to explode, here you were worrying about him, and he was out doing the hell what with that… girl. you tried to tell yourself that even if what Taehyung had told was true it must had been years ago, but still the feeling of anger and jealousy was too strong and you couldn’t handle seeing it anymore. So without saying anything else you turned around and left.

363 notes · View notes