#even though some of them could have been improved by being a bit more accurate

[the-unconquered-queen]

'Cause listen, I'm not saying anything about the content of the books, but I gotta give it to PB, some of the titles are good word play, and I wanna see if anyone else thinks that, too.

OP added context she thought people might want to know: I am so so easily amused

[abliafina-18782]

something to come home to

After living and working in San Diego, you meet the handsome pilot Rooster at a bar one night.

Pairings: Rooster x Reader

Author’s Note: Watching Top Gun: Maverick pushed me out of writer's block hell, so I thought I'd try my wings on writing an "x reader" story. I've tried keeping it compliant with the movie though some things might not be accurate. I don’t consent to this being used or republished anywhere. Please fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride~

Warnings: mostly fluff but it has some elements of angst. Friends to lovers trope.

Word count: ~7k

You left your office in a huff, barely saying goodbye to your coworkers as you headed straight for your car with only one destination in mind. The Hard Deck. You rarely went to the bar on a weeknight. Hell, it took a lot for you to go on a regular Friday after work, however today had just been one of those days that required - or more like demanded - a drink. The day had been a cluster of meetings (and frankly most of them could probably have been summarized in an email) and you hoped Penny had a drink ready with your name on it. 

You worked as a team leader at one of the local call centers in San Diego. You had started out as a customer service agent, rotating between answering incoming calls and emails from the company’s different clients, and had quickly climbed the ranks and been promoted to team leader. You managed a group of about 15 agents and they all depended on you. They came to you with questions about the routines and it was your responsibility to provide them with the support they needed, except sometimes you felt like a single mother struggling to find time for her kids. You loved your team and they also simultaneously made you want to rip your hair out. This wasn’t exactly your dream job or what you had set out to do with your life, nonetheless for now it paid the bills and kept a roof over your head. 

On any other day you would’ve made it to the Hard Deck before the worst of the evening rush, yet the hectic work day had delayed you. Once you finally arrived in the parking lot, you could hear music coming from inside the bar. Somebody was playing the piano and, by the sound of it, had gotten the entire bar to sing along to whatever song they were playing. 

Annoyed, you ran a hand through your hair and debated whether or not that drink would be worth it. The last thing you wanted right now was drunken idiots trying to interact with you, you dealt with enough fools at work, and on the other hand you knew there was nothing waiting for you at home. You didn’t want to admit it to yourself, but you hated coming home to an empty apartment. You knew no one in the city since you'd moved here for work and hated that there was nothing to come home to. You'd considered getting a pet at some point but, living the busy life that you did, there was no time.

“Just one drink and then I’ll go home.” You said to yourself while looking in the rearview mirror of your car, your tired eyes reflected back at you. You sat there in silence in your car for a moment, almost as if you were waiting for someone to tell you what to do. With a sigh, you exited your car and headed for the Hard Deck. 

The place was packed, everyone seemed to be buzzing with excitement. A group of khaki dressed people had gathered around the, usually empty, piano and were singing along to "Great Balls of Fire". It was a song you hadn't heard in ages and there was something contagious about everyone's cheerfulness, you could feel your mood had started to improve just a bit. Even though the place was crowded, the bar's owner Penny still spotted you and waved. You liked Penny a lot, she always made it a point to get to know her customers and had a tendency to memorize everyone's usual order. Almost as if on cue, Penny held up a glass towards you and gave you a knowing look. You smiled and nodded as you pushed your way to the front. 

"Something tells me you're gonna need more than one of these if you willingly came in on a weeknight." Penny laughed and placed the drink in front of you. The glass felt cool against your skin from the condensation and you gulped down almost half of it in one go. "If only you knew." You sighed and put the drink down, mindful of the other customers around you, "though some of us have work in the morning so anything more than one drink is a bad idea."

"Come on (Y/N)! Someone already paid for a round so you might as well live a little." Penny gave you a nudge as if to encourage you to order another drink. 

"Oh really? Did this 'someone' buy a round out of generosity or did they put their phone down on the bar?" 

"Both. He also wanted to know when I got off work, so you better drink up now or else his 'generosity' will go to waste." 

You laughed, the first genuine one of the day, and downed the rest of your drink. "No point in arguing with that, get me a new one then when you can." Penny smiled and left to tend to another customer and you took the opportunity to turn around and look over the people in the bar.

It wasn't unusual for the Hard Deck to be busy like this, but most customers tended to come in on weekends. Your gaze landed on the khaki dressed group by the piano, and now you recognised them to be a part of the Navy. You saw a lot of soldiers in the city even though you didn't know any of them personally. The only one who wasn't wearing the khaki uniform was the man playing the piano. His skin was nicely tanned from the sun and he was wearing a white tank top with a beige Hawaiian shirt on top of it. He had a cleanly shaven mustache and a pair of golden and black aviators covered his eyes. This time he was playing a song you didn't recognize, nonetheless he and the soldiers around him sang along just as happily as before.

"Hey Penny, who's the pianist?" You asked as she came back to you with your drink, "I haven't seen him before." You turned back around to face Penny (you didn't want it to seem like you had been checking the guy out). She looked over at the group to find the one you'd asked about. "Oh him? That's Rooster, he likes to play the piano whenever he's here."

"Rooster?" Penny must've realized the confusion, before you could even question it she added- "His name is Bradley Bradshaw and he's also in the navy with the rest of that group. I'm pretty sure they're all pilots. Don't quote me on it though!" She shrugged before returning to serving the other customers drinks, so you were left standing there with your second drink in hand. 

Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw, what a name. There was a part of you that was curious how a piano playing pilot could end up with a nickname like rooster. Maybe on a different day you would've gone up to ask however now was not the time for unnecessary social interaction. You just wanted to finish your drink and be out of here before it got too late. You had meant it when you told Penny you had work in the morning. A new song had started and people were still singing, with the exception of that you couldn't hear the piano accompanying it. Curiosity got the better of you, and you were in the process of turning around when-

"Did you want something Penny?" 

Shit.

It turned out that Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw was a lot taller than you expected, because there he was standing right in front of you. From the way you'd leaned across the bar, you came almost face to face with Bradley's chest when you turned around. You couldn't help but to give him a once-over. Not only was he taller than you expected, he was also stronger. You could see the outlines of his toned body under the tanktop, and it better have been because of the alcohol that you felt your cheeks heating up.

"No, sorry Rooster. (Y/N) was just curious who my new pianist was" Penny called out over the bar, a mischievous smile playing on her lips. Sometimes you wondered if Penny liked to play matchmaker with her customers. You’d noticed before how she would encourage people to talk to each other and now it seemed to have been your turn. 

It took everything in your power not to reach over the bar and give Penny a piece of your mind, except then you'd have to buy another round for the lot and then you definitely wouldn't be leaving anytime soon. Even with the aviators on, you could tell he looked you over just like you'd done with him moments ago. 

"Lieutenant Bradley Bradshaw at your service (Y/N)" He gave you a mock salute and that brought you back to reality. "Really lieutenant? Did you run out of energy playing the piano?" I may be a civilian but come on." You tutted and shook your head in a fake disapproval. That definitely wasn't the reaction Bradley had expected and that didn't really surprise you. Humor and sarcastic comments was your natural way of deflecting awkward situations. 

You must've come across as confident, nevermind the fact you clutched onto your drink for support, because Bradley straightened up and saluted you properly like you'd seen other soldiers do. You mustered a small laugh at the silliness of the situation. 

"At ease soldier, maybe you can tell me how you heard us talking from all the way across the bar." It really had been a question on your mind. You could barely hear your own thoughts because of the noise level and it had been even louder before when Bradley still played the piano.

"It's quite simple, captain." You raised an eyebrow at how Bradley addressed you. It seemed like the bantering was going to continue. "-as a lieutenant I have to pay attention to every detail in my surroundings, just like I do when I’m up in the air. Additionally, someone shouting 'rooster' in a bar is quite hard to miss." He gave a professional, salesman looking smile, however couldn't contain it for very long. He burst out laughing and joined you next to the bar. 

Shit, he was right. With the bar humming from all of the different conversations going on, you must've been way above the normal conversational tone (and with a nickname as unusual as 'Rooster') it probably wasn't hard for Bradley to take notice. "You've got me, I admit defeat lieutenant." You held up your drink, "Cheers to your brilliant detective skills." 

It was your own way of trying to round up the conversation. Of course, you wouldn't have minded to stay and talk some more with this rooster guy now that you had his attention, still work was work and your alarm would ring at 6:30 tomorrow no matter how long you stayed.

"Captain, if you want me to toast with you, you better get me a drink." Bradley said and interrupted your thoughts. It seemed like the nickname was going to stick. This time though you definitely blushed because you could've sworn he winked at you. Sure you'd offered in the past when you wanted to make a move on someone and yet no one had ever asked you so bluntly (and confidently) to buy them a drink. Your immediate instinct was to say no and wrap things up, but remembering the earlier conversation with Penny, you decided to let loose and live a little. 

"Sure thing, I'll get you a drink if you explain to me why Penny called you 'rooster'." Bradley smiled in what must've been agreement. You waved Penny over and he asked for his usual, which turned out to be a beer, then he motioned you over to join him by one of the few tables that were still free. 

"I'm a pilot, so rooster is my call-sign. It’s how my colleagues refer to me when we’re up in the air." He explained as he removed his aviators. He hung them on the front of his tank top and had a sip of his beer. "Suppose that's easier than yelling 'Bradley Bradshaw' over the radio." You chuckled and had some more of your drink. 

It earned you another smile from Bradley and he held out his drink. The two of you properly toasted before returning to the conversation. "So your call-sign is like a nickname, got it, but how did you end up being called 'rooster'? Wouldn't 'Brad' make more sense?"

"Ah, we don't really get the call-signs from our names. Usually you get your call-sign based on a mistake you make when you start training and then you're stuck with it." Bradley turned around in his chair and pointed towards his colleagues, the khaki dressed group. "See that tall blonde guy over there?"

"The one who looks like he's a contestant on 'the Bachelor'?" 

Bradley choked down a laugh. "Yes, him. His call-sign is 'hangman' because he always goes off on his own when he's in the air and leaves the rest of us hanging. It’s a big no to do that as a pilot. The guy next to him is called 'coyote' because of a weird howling he did on his first flight."

He went through all of his colleagues' call-signs and their origin story. A lot of the stories made you laugh, mostly because of how absurd they were, like how one compliment led to a man being called 'fanboy' for the rest of his career. 

"- and last but not least we have 'Bob' over there. I don't really know him, he's a RIO pilot as well and I'm pretty sure he got the call-sign because his name is Robert."

"Wait so you mean to tell me your whole group ends up with a bunch of cool and fun nicknames, and he just gets Bob? That's so unfair!" You weren’t serious of course. Talking to Bradley had brightened your mood, to the point that the crap work day you had felt like ages ago, and you felt at ease with him "Why not call him Rocky or something like that?"

"Does he look like Sylvester Stallone to you?" Bradley had a look of surprise on his face, almost as if he pondered on the new call-sign for his colleague. You looked over at Bob again. "I’m sure I’ve seen a pic of Stallone with glasses on, however that’s besides the point.” You waved your hand dismissively before pointing a finger at Bradley, “This might as well be Bob's underdog story where he rises to the top and surpasses all of the other pilots!"

"I'm not really sure how he would do that as a RIO pilot, but hey who knows? Maybe all he needs is a training montage." That made you laugh again and you noticed the smile spreading on Bradley's face. It was full of warmth and highlighted his face in a different way. Maybe it was because of your weakness for a good smile, you wondered if your laughter was the reason for it

"So.. you still haven't told me how you got the name rooster." You fiddled a bit with your, now empty, glass. You felt nervous under Bradley's gaze and you weren't sure how to continue the conversation. 

Now it was his turn to feel nervous. He focused his eyes on his drink, as if the information there was the most interesting thing he’d read all day. He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head. "They call me rooster because when we’re flying in the air, I sit around and wait before I do something. It's.. it's not necessarily a bad thing but… It’s definitely not the origin story I would've wanted for my call-sign" 

His hesitation spoke volumes to you. He finished the rest of his beer in one swig and frankly he looked like he wanted to leave. You felt guilty for bringing it up and you wanted to reassure Bradley that it wasn’t that bad, except you knew far too little about aviation to even make an educated guess… 

“Hey, what do you think my callsign would be if I was a pilot?” Without really thinking, you reached out and touched his hand. It was warm and calloused, probably from all of the time he’d spent up in the air or working on airplanes. The touch was definitely unexpected because you could’ve sworn Bradley looked a little flustered. His eyes went from his hand back to you. “Considering how you bossed me around moments ago, ‘Captain' is pretty fitting.”, You saw the smile return to his lips, “But I guess I would have to get to know you before I can answer that properly.”

And he had gotten to know you. The two of you had been talking until closing hours at the Hard Deck and even after that you still didn't want to say goodbye to Bradley. You'd connected with him in a way that neither of you had expected. You shared a lot of common interests and had similar tastes, except for pineapple on pizza that he so willingly admitted to enjoy. He'd asked a lot of questions about you though so you were willing to look past the questionable culinary choice. 

Bradley had also been curious about your job and asked you about it. He even expressed admiration when you explained how you dealt with particularly nasty clients. Honestly it had felt bleak to talk about, knowing that he was a pilot and probably got to see a lot of exciting places around the world. He'd surprised you though when he said: "Seeing the world isn't that special when you have no one to share it with."

It reminded you of your own feelings. How you worked long hours and had to come home to an empty apartment every day. You weren't lonely exactly, you were becoming friends with your colleagues, but it didn't compare to the companionship of sharing your life with someone. You hated feeling this way but you didn't share it with Bradley. 

Eventually Penny had to shoo the two of you away so she could close. You'd been lingering outside of the bar with him and it didn't seem like he wanted the night to end anymore than you did. After exchanging phone numbers and agreeing to grab dinner together some day, you'd finally parted ways.

The days progressed and you and Bradley kept in touch frequently. It started with you sending him a fun meme about the US military and continued with him texting you every day after work to make sure you made it home okay. You'd told him multiple times that you didn't live far from your office, so it really wasn't necessary for him to always check in, but that didn't stop him. All you knew about his work was that he was back at the TOP GUN school to train after being called back from the VFA-87 Golden Warriors. He wasn't allowed to tell you more than that so you didn't bother asking for more information. 

Along with the regular texting, Bradley often sent you pictures of the different sceneries he saw while flying. The images were always beautiful and you felt an extra sting of jealousy when he sent you photos from the beach while you were stuck in the office. You responded with a pic of yourself smiling through gritted teeth, typing "not at all jealous", and he answered with a photo of himself that almost made your heart skip a beat. 

Bradley had his aviators on and smiled widely at the camera, but what caught your eye was the fact that he was shirtless. You saw the sweat that had gathered on his skin and it made him look radiant in the sun. The selfie was only from his chest and up but that, and the tiny wisp of chest hair, was more than enough to make you flustered.

Roughly two weeks passed until you saw Bradley again. For once, he didn't text you when you arrived home from work. You figured he must have been busy at the base but that didn't make you feel any less disappointed. In the little time you'd known him you had started to look forward to his check-ins, it made coming home feel less lonely for you. 

You waited a while after coming home, to see if he'd text you, but you heard nothing from him. You debated whether or not you should send him a message anyways. On one hand you didn't want Bradley to feel pressured (because he really wasn’t obligated to check in with you) and on the other… maybe it would let him know you appreciated his check-ins…

"I'm home, safe and sound😊" You typed out and sent the message quickly. You immediately put your phone down because it embarrassed you how long it had taken to choose a smiley. This could go either way and you felt nervous as well and hoped that Bradley wouldn't take it the wrong way. 

To distract yourself, you headed for the kitchen to figure out what to have for dinner. You looked through the fridge and there really wasn't much to offer. Work had been more busy than usual lately so grocery shopping hadn't been at the top of your priority list. Before you could make a decision on whether or not dinner would be another grilled cheese sandwich, your phone rang. 

It was Bradley. He was listed as "Lieutenant Rooster" in your contacts and you'd used his selfie from the beach as the contact picture. You fumbled with the phone as you tried to answer, surprised and nervous over the fact that he had decided to call you. "Lieutenant, to what do I owe the pleasure?" You'd continued to call him Lieutenant, you just couldn't bring yourself to refer to Bradley as 'Rooster'. 

"(Y/N)! Hey, I'm sorry for calling, but I just saw your text and…" Something was up, you tell by his tone. His voice was slightly pitched and he almost sounded a bit out of breath, like he was in a rush to get the words out. "-and I thought I'd give you a call! Hi." 

"Hi." Silence fell between you. You smiled awkwardly to yourself, you weren't entirely sure if you should ask him if he was okay. "What's up lieutenant?"

"Not much Captain-” Just like you had continued to call him ‘lieutenant’, he had continued with calling you captain, “-I just finished up for the day and I… look I was thinking about that dinner we talked about before. You still up for that?"

"Oh- of course! When?" You paced around in the kitchen, the suggestion had come out of the blue and you were also anxious since Bradley still sounded off. Was he nervous about asking you out to dinner? Surely that couldn’t be it…

"How about now?"

A billion thoughts went through your mind at once. You'd wanted to see him again ever since that night on the Hard Deck. You loved the idea of going to dinner with him, but you also felt worried since something seemed to be bothering Bradley.

"(Y/N)?" His voice was cautious, like he was wondering if you were still on the line with him.

"Yes! Sorry, right now works fine.” You laughed awkwardly as if to ease the tension. “I'd barely gotten through the door anyways." 

"Great!” It sounded like he sighed a breath of relief, “If you text me your address I can come pick you up in my Bronco, do you know any good places?"

"I do, there's a really lovely restaurant not too far from where I live."

"Okay I'll come pick you up. Should be on the road in about 20. I'll- I'll see you then Captain."

"Looking forward to it, Lieutenant!" You caught yourself saluting even though Bradley couldn’t see you do it. You slapped yourself mentally and were about to hang up the phone, before finally asking: "Bradley… is everything okay?"

He went quiet for a while. You wondered what had happened during the day for him to seem so off. "Yeah I'm fine, I just… I just need to get off base for a while. Change of scenery, you know. I'll see you soon "

You texted him your address and he answered right away with a thumbs up. Luckily for you, you didn't have to get ready since you were already in your work attire. The office had a business casual dress code, so your wardrobe consisted mostly of slacks and shirts in different colors. Today you had on a pair of nude coloured slacks and a white sleeveless blouse. 

It didn’t take long before Bradley arrived. Once you settled in the Bronco and you were on the way to the restaurant, you joked with Bradley about him violating traffic laws to not keep you waiting. He laughed but you could tell he wasn’t really into it, his head was somewhere else. You totally understood the need for a change of scenery but you also doubted it warranted such strange and standoffish behavior.

The restaurant’s main theme was comfort food, they served everything from mac and cheese to pies or breakfast burritos, and you loved going when you had the time. Even though your friendship with Bradley was strong and on the rising, you honestly had no clue what types of food he enjoyed. He seemed like the type of guy who would eat anything as long as it kept him fueled. 

Once the two of you had been seated and gone over the menu, you ordered your usual and Bradley ordered a bacon and cheeseburger, silence fell between you. He looked at everything except you and seemed really uncertain with himself. You wanted to ease the tension and ended up blurting out the first thing that came to your mind. 

“Did you know that all foods can technically be divided into four groups? Sandwiches, salads, soups and ravioli. Means that you’re really only eating a sandwich for dinner.” 

He was reaching for his phone but stopped and gave you a skeptical look as he processed this new information. Bradley was so silent that you thought he was about to call you weird, but all worries were swept away when Bradley's lips widened into an earnest smile. “You know I want to say that you’re wrong but it actually makes sense.”

And that was all it took for the tension to ease between the two of you. You went over the restaurant's menu while waiting for the food and debated which dish belonged to what group. Bradley argued that the pies belonged to the sandwich category due to its many layers, while you argued it could be classed as a ravioli since it was all wrapped in crust. The discussion continued even after the food was served. 

"I get that my burger would be labeled a sandwich, I mean it's bun, meat, condiments, bun, but what about my fries?" Bradley held up a single fry, "you've argued that if it's in one piece, it's a ravioli, but since there's so many fries wouldn't that make it a salad?" As if to emphasize his point, he ate the fry that he was holding.

It was like you were back at the Hard Deck again. Conversation flowed so naturally between you and Bradley, that you lost track of time. It wasn't until the restaurant staff informed you they were closing soon that reality came back to you. You had even ordered dessert just so that you'd have an excuse to stay longer and talk to him. When the two of you were leaving, Bradley wouldn't hear any of your protests and insisted on paying for both of your meals since it was his idea to go out.

He drove you home in a much better mood than when he’d first arrived. He cranked up the radio and loudly sang along to whatever that was playing. You enjoyed a lot of Bradley’s features, but his voice had to be one of your favorites. It was full of warmth and had a pleasant raspy tone that really came through when he sang. Watching him sing filled you with a joy you couldn’t even begin to describe, the music faded out around you and you only had eyes for Bradley. Mixed emotions ran through you and in your daze you began to wonder if maybe… maybe you had a chance with Bradley? Maybe you wouldn't have to continue coming home to an empty apartment… 

"Hello?" Bradley waved with his hand in front of your face, "You with me Captain?" 

You had been so lost in your own thoughts that you hadn't noticed that you'd arrived home. Bradley had parked next to the sidewalk of your apartment complex and was trying to get your attention. 

"I'm with you, Lieutenant." Your cheeks heated up and you felt a bit embarrassed, "just disappointed that the night is coming to an end. I had fun."

"Sounds like an opportunity for you to invite me in for a drink" Bradley had the audacity to wink at you and immediately you had one foot out the car, but he stopped you before you got any further. "I'm just messing with you (Y/N)! We can save the apartment tour for another day." He was smiling from ear to ear and you sensed he probably didn't want the evening to end anymore than you did. You tried to put on a serious face but it was hard to maintain it when Bradley looked at you with his playful grin. "You're such a smooth talking stud lieutenant, do you do this at work as well?"

Bradley's smile vanished almost as soon as it'd appeared. His brows furrowed and he looked lost in thought again, like when he picked you up earlier. He mumbled something that was barely audible, but you were able to make out: "that's what mom used to call him." 

Oh. He didn't speak much about his family, he'd only mentioned in passing that neither of his parents were alive. Of course you wondered what had happened to them but you were not going to ask unless Bradley wanted to tell you himself. "I'm sorry Bradley. I… I didn't mean to upset you."

Hearing you speak snapped him out of his daze. "No! You didn't, I just… it reminded me of them. What you said." He fell silent again and when he didn't elaborate, you dared to ask a question. "Do you think about them a lot?"

"Yeah. It's hard not to these days…" It took a lot for Bradley to admit that. He was tense and wouldn't look at you, his voice was strained and he struggled to find the right words. "Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, Captain. Some things happened today at work and it affected me, more than I thought it would…"

He shifted in his seat and turned slightly towards you. "Can I ask what happened? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, Lieutenant." Maybe the nickname would make him more at ease. As a way to encourage him, you reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Phoenix and Bob nearly crashed today. They're fine but they could've gotten really hurt and it just-" While he spoke, he'd braided your fingers together and you noted how warm his skin felt against yours, "- it reminded me of how fragile life is. My dad died when I was 4. His plane malfunctioned and…" His words trailed off and he looked away. 

You wanted to offer him words of comfort but nothing you thought of felt good enough. No one should have to go through that, especially not a child so young. "I'm so sorry Bradley, I… I'm glad that you told me." You realized how it sounded and quickly corrected yourself, "I mean I appreciate that you feel comfortable enough to tell me, it can't have been easy."

He turned back to look at you with those beautiful brown eyes of his that you could get lost in. It was dark out by now, so he wasn't wearing his usual aviators, but the streetlight lit up his face and cast a soft glimmer over his iris'. "I'm being deployed soon and I couldn’t leave without seeing you again."

It shouldn't have come as a surprise but it upset you nonetheless. You remembered he'd mentioned being called back to train for a mission, so you assumed the deployment was it. You let go of his hand and looked down at your feet. A punch to the gut probably would've hurt less. There were a thousand things you wanted to ask, but the only thing you mustered up was: "Why?" 

Even though you were happy that he wanted to see you again, you worried that this was goodbye. Bradley had told you before that he moved around a lot due to his job and you didn't even know if he would come back to San Diego after his deployment. His friendship filled a certain void that you had dreaded for so long.

"Why? The same reason you agreed to go out with me." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes met and your heart nearly leapt out of your chest. Being with him felt like coming home, you realized. Bradley made you feel safe and you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't have any feelings for him.

A look of determination came across Bradley’s face as he brushed a few strands of hair away from your face. His fingers lingered on your cheek, years of being a pilot had made his hands rough and calloused, yet it surprised you how delicate his touch was. It reminded you of how he played the piano with such assurance and grace. Luckily the streetlight didn’t illuminate your face because you were pretty certain your face must’ve been tomato red by now. His gaze fell to your lips and so did yours in response. A shy smile spread on your lips as you wondered whether or not his mustache would be in the way. There was only one way to find out. 

Bradley shifted in his seat and leaned closer to you, his hand still resting against your cheek. There was a need in his beautiful brown eyes, a need that you were certain shined from your eyes as well. You wanted to feel those lips pressed against yours… and yet when you were only inches away from each other, you hesitated and pulled away. 

“No… not like this.” Bradley’s hand dropped from your cheek and he immediately moved away to give you some space. “What’s wrong?” He asked, concern showing on his face. “Nothing, I just… I don’t want our first kiss to be like this. ”When he didn’t respond, you elaborated. 

“You’re about to be deployed, Lieutenant. I don’t know how long you’ll be gone and when I'll see you again. It could be weeks, it could be months. Besides, TOPGUN pilots don’t exactly have the best reputation in the city”

It was true to an extent. Several of your coworkers had talked about hooking up with pilots, only for them to be ghosted afterwards and never hear from them again. You’d even seen some of it in action down at the Hard Deck, how some pilots would come in with a different girl every night. Bradley had shown no signs of this behavior, but your anxiety got the better of you and you were worried he’d be like all of the other pilots… You liked him, you realized that now, and you didn't want to get hurt and lose that feeling of safety Bradley gave you. 

"I don't want to be mean but if you want this… if you're serious about me, I'll be waiting for you when you're back from your deployment." It was hard to tell what Bradley was thinking. His brows had furrowed and he seemed to have turned inwards and wasn't looking at anything in particular. You leaned over and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before exiting the car. "I mean it Bradley, if you're serious about this I'll be there when you come home." 

After that night you didn't hear much from Bradley. He checked in like usual to make sure you made it home, then he sent you a text a few days later to inform you he was leaving and that he couldn't be reached while he was gone. You didn't know if everything was okay between you two after the dinner, but you answered with a few words of encouragement and that you'd miss him.

"I'll miss you too Captain." He answered and that was the last you heard from him.

You weren't sure of how much time passed after that. It could've been days or maybe even weeks. Life returned to what it had been before you met Bradley. Every day felt the same and your dread of coming home alone worsened. You worked a lot of overtime to make the time pass but it didn't help sort out your conflicted emotions. 

The what if scenarios played on repeat. What if you'd let Bradley kiss you? You'd wanted it and so had he… In an effort to protect your own feelings you'd also managed to make them worse in some aspects, but you knew you also would have regretted the kiss if he ghosted you afterwards… "I'll miss you too Captain" The text echoed in your mind like a curse. 

After waking up to the sound of raindrops hitting your window on your day off that week, you decided to stay in and order some takeout for lunch. You placed an order from your favourite place and the app said the food would take about an hour to be ready and delivered. In the meantime you did some chores around the apartment, you did the dishes, vacuumed the living room, and watered your plants. The mundanity of it all felt reassuring to you after doing so much overtime at work. You were about to start a load of laundry when the doorbell rang. A quick look at the clock told you that only 40 minutes had passed, you assumed it was your order since you didn't expect anything else, so you were happy to receive the food earlier. You opened the door to greet the driver but the hunger was quickly forgotten though when you saw what was outside of your door, or rather, who. 

Bradley. The world came to a halt before you when you opened the door and in this moment, only the two of you existed. You couldn't believe your eyes but there he was, alive and well, aside from a few new scars on his throat. He was wearing his usual jeans and Hawaiian shirt combination, even though the weather was terrible. His hair laid almost flat to his head from the rain and the sheepish look he gave you reminded you of an awkward teenager about to pick up their date. You were so caught up in looking at him, admiring his every feature, that you didn't notice he was holding your takeout order. 

"Delivery for Captain (Y/N)." He smiled and held out the bag for you, "I met the delivery driver on my way up." That broke you out of your spell and you smiled back and threw your arms around him, overjoyed that he was back. If he hadn't said anything you probably would've remained in the same position for hours. You dragged him into the apartment and closed the door behind him. 

"You're back!" You practically clung to him due to the small space of your hallway, and Bradley had to be careful not to drop the food, "why didn't you tell me? I could've ordered something for you as well. How long have you been back? Are you staying? You haven't told me about your deployment!"

The excitement of being together with Bradley again made you ramble like a nervous teenager. You'd missed him terribly and the anxiety of if the two of you had really parted on the right terms kept nagging on you. What if he didn't want to see you again after insinuating he was some sort of a player? All of your worries escaped your mind though when he swooped in and captured your lips in a soft, sweet kiss. 

He wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you close to him, and with his free hand he reached out to cup your cheek. The takeout was long forgotten by the both of you. As your lips moved together, his thumb stroked the skin of your cheek gently, reminiscent of the night when you almost kissed. You smiled, both from the happiness of finally being reunited and the tickling sensation that came from his mustache. There was a natural rhythm between the two of you and you knew that this was the right moment for your first kiss. You draped your arms over his shoulders and pulled him to you, needing him close after being apart for so long. Kissing Bradley was nothing like you ever could've expected. His lips were soft and he kissed you with a confidence that reminded you of heroes who rescued damsels in distress. Not that you were a damsel in distress. When you eventually had to let go to catch some air, you saw how Bradley's beautiful brown eyes shined with nothing but pure adoration for you, making you feel warm and fuzzy inside. To him you were nothing less than his equal. His reason to come home.

"You have no idea what I had to go through to do that, Captain." Bradley said with a small laugh, arms still around your waist. The hairs that formed his mustache were out of place after the kiss, you cupped his face with both of your hands and used your thumbs to adjust the strands of hair. "Something tells me I don't want to know." You said and smiled, "this is a nice moment, let's not ruin it lieutenant." 

This earned you another smile and a lighter kiss. Bradley lifted you up in his strong arms, without breaking the kiss, and carried you bridal style into the living room. A small giggle escaped your lips, amazed that Bradley still managed to surprise you. He laid you down on the chaise part of your sofa and kneeled next to you on the floor. If you didn't know better it looked like he was about to propose. 

"I thought of you every single day when I was away. What you said… it stuck with me, not in the way you think!" You'd been about to protest and apologise for ever doubting him but he stopped you before you got the chance. "You were right in what you said... I've been going from city to city for so many years now, I don't really have a place I call home. I never cared about making any connections outside of the Navy and when I was away… I couldn't stop thinking about you and I realised how much I wanted someone to come home to."

It was like listening to yourself speak. You had struggled with the same emotions and hearing Bradley speak about it made you speechless. You sat up and clasped your hands over his, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. He gazed into your eyes, he looked like he wanted to say a million more things but you stopped him this time. Nothing else needed to be said, except:

"Welcome home lieutenant."

[vickyvicarious]

I decided to see if I could figure out how often Dracula drinks from Lucy. We don't get direct confirmation of every single instance, but by looking at how Lucy's health trends over time I think I can speculate fairly accurately.

I'm putting the details under a cut just so I can keep updating this post with any future instances. There's three tallies: confirmed (typically by sight of Dracula in some form or a severe dive in health), likely (based on her health), and total added together. I'm not sure yet how many speculative bites there will even be, but I figured a system for counting them wouldn't hurt. All are running along with the updates, so no spoilers here.

Confirmed bites: 11

Likely bites: 2

Total bites: 13

Foiled attempts: 10

Evidence (dates based on entry dates talking of her condition; sometimes the actual date would have been the night before) below. I'm also counting foiled attempts at bites now, which are when something/someone prevents Dracula from getting to her.

11 August - Mina witnesses Dracula biting Lucy for the first time in the graveyard. She had trouble breathing, but seemed better the next day.

12-13 August - On the 12th Mina notices Lucy trying to sleepwalk out of the room again, but she is successfully kept in the room. On the 13th Mina sees a bat at the window but the window stays shut. It seems likely that Dracula was trying to call her to him, and then went to find her himself the next night when that didn't work. I'm counting this as two attempts for that reason.

14 August - Mina sees Lucy asleep on the windowsill with a "good-sized bird" next to her.

17 August - Mina found Lucy leaning out of the window, where she was weak and having difficulty breathing. The marks on her neck were worse than before. The next day, Dracula leaves Whitby and Lucy is doing better.

24 August - Lucy arrives in London and starts dreaming/feeling ill again. She says she feels weak and worn out.

25 August - Lucy's bad dreams continue, and her symptoms get worse. She complains of throat pain, paleness, and difficulty breathing.

26 August-2 September - Arthur says on the 31st that Lucy is getting worse every day, and she isn't well when Seward visits her on the 2nd. Since usually she starts to recover if time goes by without a bite, I'd guess she has been bitten during this time. Based on the other bites often being a couple days apart/her health getting much worse when she's bitten more often, I'm guessing at two more bites during these eight days. Could also be three, or possible even more, but I'm keeping the speculative numbers conservative.

6 September - After her still seeming unwell on the 2nd, she has several days of improving health. But on this day she takes a sudden turn for the worse.

7 September - When the doctors visit her, Lucy is deathly ill from lack of blood. Only a successful transfusion from Arthur keeps her alive, and she requires enough blood to weaken him a fair bit.

8 September - I'm not quite sure this counts as a foiled feeding because I don't think Dracula necessarily tried to come and feed. He assumed Lucy was dead. But then again, he might have come to check that she did indeed die, and if not for Jack might've tried to drink from her again. Given what happens the next night, I'll go ahead and count it as a foiled attempt.

10 September - Seward fell asleep the night before and Lucy was near death again in the morning. A transfusion worked to revive her somewhat, though she was still weak.

11 September - van Helsing sat up with Lucy the night before, then garlanded her room with garlic flowers during the day.

12 September - Lucy says that she feels better with the garlic flowers, and looks forward to sleeping with them. Her narration seems to suggest that this is happening on the same day van Helsing gave them to her, but if so the dates do not line up. If we accept the dates then they must give her one night of safe rest.

13 September - Mrs. Westenra removed the garlic during the night, and opened the window. The next day Lucy is deathly ill and requires a third transfusion.

13-16 September - New garlic is delivered every day, and van Helsing sits up with her. Lucy writes on the evening of the 17th of having had four nights of peace.

17 September - Dracula attacks with a stolen wolf, kills Mrs. Westenra, bites Lucy, and then drugs the maids before returning to bite Lucy a second time. He drains her terribly.

18-19 September - After they find her on the monring of the 18th, van Helsing and Jack make sure to keep someone with Lucy at all times. On the 18th, Quincey also patrolled around the outside of her house. However, before dawn on the 20th, Dracula comes back and flaps at the window again. While he doesn't make it inside, Lucy's condition gets worse at his arrival and she soon dies in the morning. So, while he doesn't bite her, I am not counting this last instance as a successful foiling, and am only counting once for the night of the 18th.

.

In amongst all these many bites, there are definitely some which are worse than others. In my opinion, these are the worse ones (getting worse as you go down the list):

11 August - the first time Dracula bites Lucy, he's interrupted by Mina and yet she still has trouble breathing afterwards (not true of some of his other Whitby sips). I think he was drinking deeper that time, though still not to the degree of later nights.

17 August - Dracula is leaving town right after this, and he drinks more deeply from Lucy since as far as he knows it will be the last time. It doesn't seem like he was intentionally trying to kill her necessarily, given how quickly she recovers, but her symptoms are worse that night so I think he was tanking up before his trip, so to speak.

6 September - After a few days away, Dracula drinks extra hard from Lucy, leaving her very ill.

7 September - Dracula intended to kill Lucy today. She would have died of blood loss without the transfusion.

10 September - Once again, this bite would have killed Lucy.

13 September - A third would-be-fatal bite.

17 September - The bite(s) that prove fatal in the end, despite one more transfusion.

[wakebymoonsleepbysun]

Untitled Caine x GN!Reader oneshot because why not

EDIT: A more polished version of this is now on ao3!!

After writing something close to 20k words of Stereo Souls this week I needed a quick break, and came up with this while half asleep and feeling mopey. It's self-indulgent so if you find yourself thinking "He would not fucking say that" then yeah, you're probably right but eh, this isn't a Caine character study. 🤣

If I ever think of a title and edit this I might put this on ao3 cuz again whynot.

(Sidenote: Yes, the reader appearance is based on the TADC sona I designed for myself. At the time I referred to the sona with she/her pronouns because I didn't mean for it to be anything other than a drawing of my own sona. But I assure you this reader is gender neutral despite sharing a design with a she/her character.)

Word count: ~1700

You’ve lost track of how long you’ve been stuck in the Digital Circus. You think the time is best measured in months, not years, but Jax has suggested otherwise a couple times. But you can’t always tell when Jax is lying to upset you, or telling the truth to upset you.

You try not to be upset at all.

Easier said than done in this place, most of the time.

Caine makes it easier, though you seem to be in the minority with that opinion. His games can be irritating sometimes, but you sense he is trying to make them fun…and the banquets and parties he throws for you and your cohorts afterwards are usually nice.

You think he’s improving, but every time you mention that possibility Jax lets out a cough that usually sounds suspiciously like “Stockholm”. 

It is after such a party you’ve slipped out of the tent to wander the grounds on your own for a bit. The sun has gone away for now. You don’t think describing it as having “set” is accurate, but in any case, the grounds are bathed in the bluish glow of nighttime. The moon herself seems to have dozed off in her perch among the chalk stars, so she pays you no mind.

Like the other humans (or perhaps former humans) here, you were given a new form when you arrived. From a distance, you could be mistaken as one of the more humanoid characters, but up close that illusion falls apart. You’re essentially an animated pile of clothing. A hoodie, with the always up hood serving as your head and cartoony, ever malleable and expressive pair of thick glasses serving as your eyes. Your legs are a pair of jeans, the bottoms of which rest on the ground like a floppy pair of feet.

When you’d first caught a glimpse of yourself in a mirror, you’d thought you were invisible…but there’s no invisible body beneath your garments--the garments are you. 

You don’t remember your past life--nobody here does. But you know bits of it, and you feel like in some ways you know yourself. Somehow the idea of you being invisible, faceless, nondescript and barely noticeable feels…Well, it feels like a predictable outcome in many ways. As much as predictable outcomes exist in the Digital Circus, anyway.

The others all seem to have something pulling them back to the human world, even if they don’t always know what it is. Jax less so, and Kinger seems to forget the pull just as much you’ve all forgotten what’s pulling you, but it’s there all the same.

Less so for you though.

You just can’t help but feel…you don’t have much to go back to.

Your moping is interrupted--as it often is--but the sudden appearance of two large eyes immediately in front of you. Green and blue.

“Hello there! I was wondering where you’d gone off to,” Caine says, floating back a pace so his eyes aren’t dominating your visual field.

“Oh, uh, hi Caine,” you say, lifting a floppy sleeve in an imitation of a wave.

“What’s gotcha so blue, pal? Aside from the obvious,” he says, gesturing at the artificially blue lighting around you two.

You let out a little laugh at the joke, wringing your sleeves together. “O-Oh nothing, Caine…” you say.

He’s quiet a moment, then lets out a thoughtful hum. “Hmmmmmmmm?” he muses. His eyes stay in place while his mouth and body rotate around them until he’s upside-down. “Nothing?” he repeats, a layer of dubiousness making itself known beneath his usually pompous tone.

“N-Nothing you need to worry about…” you correct.

Caine abruptly rights himself, giving the top of your hood a gentle tap with his baton, causing your hood--your head--to deflate slightly. 

“Nonsense!” he cries as you try to push your hood back into a head-like shape. “As ringmaster I am in charge of ensuring all characters maintain their happiness and sanity!” he cries, his irises “closing” into little crescents…which is about as close as he can get to closing his eyes.

At your silence, his eyes open again and he floats downward, leaning in close. “Is it because Bubble didn’t save you guys any angel food cake? I told that little parasite--”

“It isn’t that!” you say quickly, holding up your sleeves and quickly shaking your hood.

“Oh. Excellent!” he chirps. For a moment, you hope the tangent had distracted him, but you realize he’s still looking at you expectantly.

“I was uh…just um…thinking about the human world, I guess…” you admit, one of your sleeves rubbing the other nervously.

“Ahhh yes, that whole affair,” Caine says, his tone both pompous and commiserating. He floats down to join you on the ground and begins walking beside you. “I do apologize for how long the Exit Door is taking. I do still have some new ideas I--”

“I’m not worried about the Exit Door, Caine,” you say. He’s talked about making one before, and you’re told when Pomni arrived, he’d come up with something pretty convincing. But it was no real exit. None of you are sure if his “Exit Door” talk is just another game, some new level he’s designing that he thinks will delight all of you indefinitely, or if he truly is trying to help you find a way out.

Most of the time you’re not sure if Caine even knows.

“Oh?” he asks curiously. “Everyone else is.”

“Well…I’m not not worried about it…” you amend.

One side of his upper teeth raises in an approximation of a quirked brow. “But you just said--”

“I-I mean…I’m worried about it in general I guess, but not right this second,” you clarify quickly.

“Ah. I see,” he says with a small nod. Once again he looks at you expectantly.

“Can I ask you something?”

Caine’s mouth tilts to one side curiously, but after a moment he cries “Certainly!” in his usual showman tone.

“Do you…have any data on who we used to be? Even…what we looked like?” you ask.

“Afraid not, friend!” he declares easily. “In fact, I don’t even know what humans look like!”

You falter slightly, glancing over him in surprise. “Not at all?”

“Not at all!” he says with a grand sweep of his arm. “Think about it. When would I have ever seen a human?”

“I…I suppose…” you say.

“I have inferred some things though!” he declares, raising one finger and puffing his chest as he walks. “Ragatha is the closest. Pomni being a close second. And you being…” He stops walking, one hand scratching his chin. “Perhaps a distant third?” he asks tentatively, as if he’s truly not sure.

You’re not entirely sure either. If Jax’s ears didn’t make him resemble a rabbit more than a human, one could make the case that he’s more “human” than you by virtue of having a solid shape and an actual face.

But you simply shrug and dip your hood in a nod. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Good!” he chirps easily, taking a couple quick steps to catch up to you and once again fall into step beside you. “But why do you ask?”

You don’t think he’s going to stop prodding until you tell him. Or until he decides you need a new adventure to take your mind off of it. Though even after you tell him, he might still think you need an adventure. But either way, it seems your only chance at a peaceful evening is to just tell Caine what’s on your mind.

Still, that’s a bit easier said than done.

“I-It’s just…I don’t really remember specifics about my life…”

“Nobody does!” he chirps.

“Right,” you continue, not particularly phased by the interruption. “It’s…hard to explain, but…s-sometimes…when I look in the mirror and don’t have a face--a real face…it’s…almost a relief?” you say, glancing up at him.

Caine simply stares at you in silence, waiting for you to continue.

“I-I just…feel like…there was something in the mirror I…didn’t like seeing…but I don’t know why…”

One side of his upper jaw raises slightly in a curious expression. “Do you mean in a physical sense? Or more metaphorical?” he asks.

You glance over at him in surprise. You hadn’t expected such an insightful question. If anything, you’d assumed he’d take it literally--that you just didn’t like your human face. Nothing deeper than that.

But even you don’t know if it’s deeper than that.

“I don’t know,” you say. “I don’t remember clearly enough. It’s…just…an impression of how I used to feel, I guess.”

“Hmmmm…” he hums, his fingers drumming on the gums below his lower row of teeth. “Well, good buddy, I’m afraid I can’t help with that.”

You’d give a small, good-natured smile if you could, but you can’t, so you simply flop your arms in a mild shrug. “I didn’t think so. That’s why I didn’t want to bother you with it.”

“Bother? Hardly a bother!” Caine cries cheerfully. “Your happiness and sanity are my priority!” he declares, placing a fist against his chest and puffing up proudly.

“W-Well..thanks for um…checking in on me anyway,” you say, wringing your sleeves together awkwardly.

He lifts off the ground again, hovering in front of you. He lays horizontally, his hands folded under his lower jaw. “For what it’s worth though, friend…If you had a face, I’d sure be happy to see it!” he says, poking the bridge of your glasses with one finger.

You sputter in surprise at the remark, and the little touch. He…he surely meant both in the most innocent, innocuous way possible…right?

Caine’s irises close into happy crescents as he rights himself, taking your sleeves in his hands. “Feeling better?” he asks, and you think you hear some genuine warmth in his tone.

Your hood flops forward in a nod. “Y-Yes…thank you.”

“Good!” he crows happily. “Ready to head back? There’s a mousse pie with your name on it!” he grins. Then he pauses, tapping his chin with one finger. “Which I maaaaay mean literally, if that’s your fancy!”

You laugh softly. “Figuratively is fine.”

“Ah, good. Keeps things simple!” he says. He lowers himself to the ground again, and to your surprise, holds out his elbow for you. “Shall we head back, then?”

You’re surprised at the little gesture. You feel your glasses fogging up a bit but quickly lower your hood, trying not to draw attention to it. “S-Sure…” you say, looping your sleeves around his arm.

Life in the circus…isn’t terrible, you decide.

[crazypsychonerdstuff]

If it's not too much to ask, can I get some soft headcanons or a oneshot for Cutler Beckett where he's really needy and clingy? That man seems to me like he'd act all cold and emotionless and deny his feelings for so long, but eventually just crack and be really clingy and so, so touch starved. 🥺🥺🥺

So. I was going to do this as just a few headcanons as I didn't realise I had so many ideas for him, but they sort of developed a life of their own and ran off on a bit of a tangent to where I originally intended, and in doing so, ended up being more of a bulletpointed oneshot at the start and then trailed off into more normal headcanons afterwards.

So here you go, Anon! One bulletpoint... whatever it is!

🎃

It would take something pretty major happening for him to initially open up to you, most likely one of you getting severely injured/sick and almost dying. More accurately, you almost dying.

He will refuse to leave your side then. Anyone coming to take care of you, nurses, doctors etc will only see the cold, emotionless front, and gods help them if they do something he deems detrimental to your recovery.

But when they've left, his icy facade melts a little. He'll sit beside you, hold your hand, brush your hair out of your face, anything so long as he's close to you.

He's confused. He doesn't understand these feelings he has at all, they are not practical in the slightest, they're more of a hindrance than anything. though he decides to just roll with it and do what feels right in the moment.

When you're feeling a little better, you'll tease him about how he's acting, which he'll deny completely. Or at least until you kiss his cheek and thank him for staying with you.

Cue an adorably embarrassed, blushing Cutler who, for once in his life, is at a complete loss for words. He stutters a little, trying to phrase an intelligible sentence but ends up going silent once more and averting his gaze before whispering "I think I may be in love with you." Inaudible, if the room hadn't been so otherwise quite.

You smile softly and gently squeeze his hand "and I you."

His attention snaps back to you, a stunned look on his face; eyes wide and lips slightly parted.

You giggle and lean forward slightly, hesitantly, though when he doesn't pull back or push you away, you close the gap and kiss him.

To your surprise, contrary to what you had expected due to his cold, cruel persona, his lips were warm and so, so soft and you wanted nothing more than to just melt into him then and there. But you restrained yourself, you didn't want to scare him away, after all.

Though you needn't have worried, the moment you go to pull back, his hand reached to the back of your neck and pulled you in once more, his lips finding yours again as his arms come to wrap around you, holding onto you desperately as if he were afraid you'd vanish from infront of him if he let go.

And that was that. The wall that he'd built up over many years was finally broken down. Well, at least for you. there was no turning back now, he'd shown you how weak he could be and honestly, he liked it. It was as if a huge weight had been lifted from him and he wanted nothing more than to remain in your embrace forever, despite the impracticality of it all.

From then on, he was yours. He'd do just about anything if it meant ending up in your arms.

Though never in public. If there was even the slightest chance that you two might be seen, then he was back to completely emotionless once more... at least until he was certain the two of you were alone again, then he'd resume where he left off.

He's always struggled with sleep, but since you've become a pretty much permanent fixture in his life, his sleep has much improved.

A large part of why he doesn't sleep is nightmares, usually about his past.

Most nights, He will curl into you, his head on your chest, his arms around your waist and his legs tangled with your own, this way he feels safe and the nightmares are greatly reduced. Though some nights, he wants to be the one holding you, in which case he'll most likely pull you against himself with your back to his chest and his face buried in your hair.

Running your fingers through his hair is something he finds really relaxing too and he'll lean into you in silent encouragement to continue.

Did I mention he loves resting his head on your chest? Because he does and will do any chance he gets.

when the two of you are alone in the evenings, he enjoys lying with his head in your lap while the two of you talk about the day.

If you play with his hair, he will likely find himself drifting off to sleep, so be prepared to be trapped there a while while he naps. Well, unless you want to wake him so the two of you can go to bed, but it would be a shame really, what with him looking so peaceful for once.

When he's in need of affection, he won't say much really as he's somewhat embarrassed about appearing pathetic and/or weak, so he'll let his actions speak for him instead, though he will always be careful not to push things too far:

for example if he wants a hug, he'll either rest his head against your shoulder and allow you to initiate further contact or rest his hand on your back and press himself to your side and wait for you to turn to him before he'll wrap his arms around you.

The exception to this rule is when he comes up behind you, then he'll wrap his arms around your waist and nuzzle into your neck or back or depending on how tall you are – or if you are sat down – (I mean, he's not the tallest guy by any means... smol grumpy bean) will rest his chin on your shoulder.

If he wants kisses, it's all or nothing:

Either he'll just blankly look at you, his eyes lingering on your lips until you call him out on it and ask if he wants a kiss, in which case, the proceeding kisses will be soft, slow and full of adoration,

Or he'll grab you and kiss you roughly with no warning, desperation evident in his actions as he holds onto you tightly. If this is the case, expect him to be somewhat embarrassed when he does pull away and apologise profusely for his lack of restraint.

In which case, the best response would be to grab him and give him an equally rough, passionate kiss as, even if you tried to reassure him verbally that it was fine, he likely wouldn't believe you, and he will be beating himself up for acting so impulsively likely for days.

I'm going to leave it there... for now... it's getting a little out of hand!

[alpydk]

Eclipse (Part 1)

A 5 minute conversation turned into 2 chapters today. Oops. So here is part 1...

Gale x OC (F) - Some angst, hopefully comfort

As Gale travels the Sword Coast in search of a cure for the tadpole he starts to receive unexpected sending messages from an unknown source. As he begins to question these he finds his memories as not as accurate as he once believed them to be.

Ao3 Link

“I miss you. I love you. I’m sorry. Please come back to me.” 

Gale had spent some time pondering over the sending spell  that  he’d accidentally intercepted  whilst  channelling the weave.  He didn’t recognise the person’s voice or have any memory of someone back home in Waterdeep who might have been missing his attention, especially someone declaring love to him , and yet  somehow, he had ended up receiving the message, disrupting the delicate moment with a friend. During the  moment  he had believed it was simply the interference of the  tadpole,  or that Mystra was being somewhat coy; that was until the next day when similar words spoke out into his mind.

“I know you can’t reply. But know that I love you. Do you remember that day we sat and watched the clouds?”

He lay in his tent going over the details of the spell. He wanted to reply  and  yet  with  no knowledge of whom he was speaking to, he worried that it was an effect of his condition or possibly a trick  of some kind .  Looking  at the clouds.  He hadn’t taken the time to do that since he was a young boy, instead choosing to stay indoors amongst the tomes and scrolls he’d grown to love. There had been very few friends aside from Tara and the mephit, and he couldn’t note any moments of lying on the grass with any other person, let alone someone with some  sort of  infatuation with him. 

Days passed in silence as he trekked with his travelling companions. He’d tried to bring up the topic with Wyll  only  for him to question his sanity at hearing voices that weren’t those of other tadpole-occupied minds. Gale had tried channelling the weave alone from his tent in the hopes of triggering another message, only to have been unsuccessful; this little puzzle taking up far more of his thoughts than was necessary, and yet it was certainly better than the alternative of the orb or ceremorphosis which had plagued him earlier. 

Maybe  it was that  he was  simply  losing his mind from the tadpole or  from  the orb that caused his body to ache day  in,  and   day out.  Maybe too many magic items had finally taken their toll on his body, and this was the beginning of his mind breaking apart. He’d decided he would  just  monitor the issue. For now, at least, he was still in control of his senses , his   skills in combat  were improving after a year of barely casting even the simplest cantrip, and little by  little  he was even starting to make  friends;  A feat he was not too willing to be proud of.

***

The group walked  in silence  under the shade of the weeping willows that basked over the river.  He  could hear the croaking of a nearby frog and watched as it hopped onto a lily pad.  Stop licking the damn thing! The same voice he had heard a week previously and yet different, younger than  it was  before. He laughed at the fractured image of himself holding a  small  pink frog in his hand, his tongue at the ready, the voice adamantly telling him not to do it. Details of the markings on the frog’s back, the small white splotches and the way its yellow eyes bulged ever so slightly stood out so vividly to him  and  he could almost feel the weight of it in his hands, so much detail for something that he could not recollect. He tried but could not seem to envisage the face of the speaker  though , nothing but a distorted shadow standing in front of him, and yet the voice was still as clear as the frog in his hands. 

Astarion swung his head around in Gale’s direction. “Going to share the joke, darling?”

Gale bit his tongue and lowered his head, hiding the smirk. “Oh, it was nothing. Just a stray memory.” A memory he couldn’t trace back to. Who was the person yelling? When had this moment even happened?

***

“Lúthien got admitted to Blackstaff.  Figured  you would want to know. You’d be proud of how well she is doing. We love you. Miss you.”

If only the fight with the hag hadn’t lasted as long. As Gale had received the message, he’d also been hit by a spell  leaving  him winded. By the time he had gotten around to responding, too much time had passed, and the effects of the sending spell had fizzled out, leaving the words as only a new memory to him. 

He had no recollection of anyone with the name Lúthien who was close to him, but still, he thought over it considerably.  He sat by the campsite,  going over the identities of colleagues  and their possible children that he’d yet to find time to meet, but he only drew up blanks.  Maybe it was someone his mother had mentioned at some point as she had gossiped about local women, trying to set him up with a partner. She’d respected his choices during his studying days, young men and women wooed in various ways, but Morena always wanted him to have someone more permanent , she’d  certainly not been too pleased when that permanent choice had turned out to be Mystra herself. 

I  really  wish I could cash a Hold spell on you.  Again, that voice, only this time with a small laugh as his fingers ran through their hair  and  he tenderly kissed the soft skin of their  neck,   as he slowly removed  their shirt with his free hand.  He chased the memory, trying to see the face , trying to  solve the mystery that yet again presented itself in front of him.  The memory faded  in front of  him, and he was left disappointed and confused, only the cracking of the fire taunting him.

***

“Shadowheart, may I ask you a rather personal question?” Gale hadn’t wanted to do this until he had exhausted all other options. He’d tried to trace the spell back but was unable to due to the time constraints; he’d repeatedly tried to ask Mystra for assistance only to be ignored as expected, but it was with his memory now coming into question that he felt it was time to ask for help more locally. 

Shadowheart shuffled uncomfortably near her tent, preparing herself for what  was to  come. “That depends on how personal it is, Gale.”

He smirked. “It is nothing untoward , I  can assure you of that. It’s  in regard to  your memory dilemma.”

She relaxed her shoulders. “It’s not so much a dilemma as it is my life, but what would you like to know?”

“Do you ever find yourself remembering occurrences that  had once been removed ? The voice of a friend, a tender moment, perhaps?”  He let his voice trail off  and  the question lingered for a moment to give her time to think  on what an appropriate answer would be .

“No. No, I can’t say I do. My memories are completely lost to me  as  you already know. Why do you ask?”

Gale’s disappointment with her reply was buried  under his usual positive demeanour. So,  it was  completely  possible that he was   just  going mad, the orb destroying his senses with each passing day or the tadpole chewing at his frontal lobe. “Ah, just a fleeting  curiosity  is all. Pay it no mind.”

She shot him a sceptical look but let the issue die. “Very well. If that’s how it is.”

***

“Darling, you look a tad pale.” Astarion stroked the side of Gale’s face with the delicate pad of his fingertip. “Maybe tonight we should hold off on any activities.”  

Gale sighed.  He’d somehow fallen into this routine with Astarion of late-night soirees, sharing wine and not  really  speaking much before eventually ending up in the forest or  more  comfortably  one  of their tents together .  Tonight  had been no different.  It was   only  as he had removed his robe  that Astarion had chosen  to hold back for once and  begun  to ask questions.  “I’ve just had a considerable amount on my mind recently.”

“Haven’t we all, but isn’t that why we have  been cavorting  in the shadows?” Astarion ran his tongue down the faint markings on Gale’s neck. He’d never bite. Not after the incident last time  but   the way  he heard Gale’s heart rate increase let him know that Gale enjoyed this walk along the precipice  and  so he’d continue to threaten it. 

Gale leaned into the subtle touch,  allowing his eyes to close , his mind drifting to earlier nights of similar sensations .   Such  an undignified position to find oneself in.  Gale was kissing their abdomen, suckling at their flesh beneath him as they spoke. That same voice was haunting him even now.  He tried to bring himself back to Astarion’s touch, to the cold hands that moved further down his body  and  yet  he still felt disconnected  from it all .  

“Love, what is going on with you tonight?” Astarion’s sudden move away brought him back to reality.

Gale pulled at his robe, sitting up and covering his body. “I apologise. Maybe you’re right  and  tonight is not on the cards for us.”

“We could always do something else.” Astarion lay down on the bedroll  trying  to coerce Gale over to him,  not happy  with how the evening had been going. 

“ Hey, I  really  wish you were here right now… Things have just been tough without you. I love you. Miss you.”  

Gale heard the message in his head and instantly began to leave the tent  knowing  now was his only chance to reply. He could hear the confused yell of Astarion behind him  along  with  a few choice words in Elvish. None of  was   important  at this moment  though   as   he  climbed into his tent and focussed on the spell  that  had been  sent  to him. It was now or never if he wanted answers. He thought over what he wanted to say, the words  he  should speak  knowing  whatever answer  he  gave would inevitably invite this stranger further into his life, but he needed to know. “ Who is this? Why do you keep on contacting me? Am I meant to know you?”

***

Despite the day’s requirement for his attention, he had found his mind wandering constantly back to the messages , to the  memories.  He’d tried to apologise to Astarion but received nothing but a disinterested remark and a comment on how their nights together were over, something  that  surprisingly  Gale  wasn’t as bothered about as he’d initially believed he would be. Right now, it was the memories he’d been having that had been provoking more of a reaction within him. He didn’t know what would cause them to suddenly flash before his eyes, only that he longed to have more of them, to feel the connection with that other person more than the touch of anyone else around him. 

Dawn turned to dusk, and he sat alone  waiting  for the now familiar voice to speak  to him . Doubts had begun to creep in more and more as the hours  had passed by   and  he’d started to question again if maybe he had  just  been losing his mind. As he lay his head down, his eyes grew heavy  and  he let sleep take him, wishing he could hear them  once  again. 

The night was full of unrest, moments he couldn’t piece together merging with events of the recent days, laughter and wine shared in rooms he did not recognise, and   the touch of a soft hand upon his chest.  Rook to queen six. I do believe that means I’ve won.  Had he ever lost a game of lanceboard? Not that he could recall  and  yet these words made him smile, a subtle familiarity of the time stirring something within him. 

“ Gale? Is that  really  you? You’re alive?”

The sending spell interrupted his sleep, but he  was unable to  tell where his dreams ended  and  reality began, his body not allowing his mind much further than the partial acknowledgement of the voice speaking to him.

[racefortheironthrone]

I just read your Who Stole Westeros article (great onde, btw!), and it got me thinking: how could the crown undo all the financial damage Littlefinger did?

This is something that I've discussed in bits and pieces, but I think it's a good idea to have one place where I lay out my ideas.

Accurate Intelligences

The first thing that needs to happen is that the crown needs to get an accurate understanding of its finances and make that understanding known to the necessary stakeholders. This starts with a very thorough audit of both the Crown's books and Littlefinger's books, preferably done with the participation of the Iron Bank (not only do they have the necessary expertise to see through Baelish's fraud, but bringing them into the process at an early stage will make later negotiations easier because they're more likely to feel "part of the team" and not like a bombshell's been dropped on them).

The second step is, I would argue, a document laying out, in detail, what the Crown's incomes, expenditures, and debts actually are - and the extent of Littlefinger's fraud and embezzlement - is absolutely vital for rebuilding trust from the Crown's major creditors. Think of this as a somewhat more private (and hopefully more honest) Compte Rendu. Not only is having an accurate understanding vital for future policymaking, but it's also a way of framing the overall narrative to your creditors that defines the universe of how much you can afford to pay back and how much you should pay back.

Debt Forgiveness

After the full scope of the economic damage is known, the first priority should be to A. recoup as much of the losses as possible, and B. reduce the debt that has to be paid as much as possible. As far as A goes, the absolute de minimus strategy should be to seize the entire Baelish estate - not just the gold, but also the brothels, the ships, the commodities futures, the debts of various noble houses and merchants, the lands and titles belonging to Harrenhal - and those of all of his minions in the royal bureaucracy, and use that to improve the royal income-to-debt ratio by paying off some of what's owed, with as much as possible going to principal over interest.

Secondly, there's a strong need for debt relief. That's a touchy subject around creditors, but it's still one that has to be faced - and is made somewhat easier by the War of Five Kings. So if Renly or Stannis had won, it would absolutely been in their interests to declare the Crown's debt to House Lannister repudiated on the grounds of treason, thus reducing the total owed by 50% (assuming that the Crown actually owes 3 million to House Lannister and 6 million overall). On the flip side, and this is somewhat paradoxical, it is rather surprising that at no point after the death of King Robert does the Lannister regime forgive debt it effectively owes to itself, even if that would be to its ultimate advantage.

Restructuring Finances

Ultimately, though, the nice thing about being a government is that (barring a revolution or foreign conquest) you are effectively immortal, and thus even staggeringly huge debts can be dealt with - over a long enough time horizon. Look at the example of British war debt:

It turns out, constantly fighting imperial wars and then having to fight two world wars is very expensive, but just hanging on as a going concern was enough to gradually reduce the debt-to-gdp ratio down to manageable levels. It really helps if you have a central bank, a sinking fund, and strong levels of economic growth, but just staying alive is the big ticket.

However, in order for time to heal all wounds, one of the things that has to happen is some debt restructuring aimed at reducing the interest rate owed on the royal debt. Pretty much all previous steps I've outlined, from sharing information to cultivating stakeholders to paying off as much as you can from Littlefinger's coffers, etc. are aimed at trying to soften the negotiating ground for this step, because medieval interest rates were really high (largely as a hedge against frequent defaults), around 12% on average. It's pretty hard to grow your way out of that, so bringing down those rates is the top priority. Once you've gotten them as low as you can, you want to negotiate for the longest repayment window possible.

[zilabee]

Was that old toast that you had, or..? Oh they're bringing some more. With a bit of marmalade, Kev?

- Ringo putting up his picture <33

Glyn: You even got the end right. Paul: We improve with time.

<3333333333 I love the way they are with Glyn, now, really settled into him. I hope he knows that their calling him Glynis is the height of love from a Beatle. He's settled into them too. I love when he tells John to turn his bass down and John complains that "it's not as good as when it was bassy" and he's just like 'okay, be bassy'. (One of the main things I learned from Get Back is that nobody ever turns their bass down.)

- Genuinely impressive that we're so far into this thing and Yoko is still finding things to do, bringing bits with her, answering letters, filling her time, reading lyrics from her boyfriend's band. No wonder she has to scream on occasion.

- I'm so relieved they like their studio and think it's going to be lovely. (I wish we were in a universe where we could watch all this, knowing it was the founding of a lovely little base that they'd work from for years to come, like an inside look at the place the next six or seven big Beatles albums would be birthed.)

Enter Billy Preston. All four Beatles gather round him, evidently thrilled by his arrival.

The book here making them sound like rats in an experiment who have just been given a new enrichment. Accurate enough.

- Billy's little laugh when John says, 'if you want to do it you'd be welcome'! oh! what a ridiculous moment of your life though. And then John telling him he'd be on the album, and he's just beyond. It's lovely having that on camera.

- Paul's face when Billy starts playing! The best thing about Billy is how Paul feels him.

Ooh, sarnies. That's good news.

- I love that their mics don't ever really work and their setup is so random.

- I love John asking for a big drum sound to give him the courage to come screaming in. (Like I love Paul when he talks about having to build himself up to screaming numbers and worrying that it might not come before live performances.)

John: It'll be fantastic with this whole build up with bits of paper, and Twickenham, and all that scene, and, you know... it's like getting Wordsworth or something, from the start. Instead of having to get an actor to go through the bits, and re-enact his life... It'll be marvellous. And it'll be a movie, you know, not a TV show. It'll be the third Beatles movie.

They all seem to take turns understanding the project and realising how wonderful it might be... and then the next day they forget again and act like it's just a stupid idea of Paul's that is too much effort.

- I know that George says that having Billy there changed the mood so much because it made everyone less bitchy, and more polite, which yeah, to a degree. But that's only a small part of it. They've been surrounded by strangers for weeks and didn't mind being petty. It's the music that lifts them. George in particular has been so worried about the whole thing and how awful it's going to sound and how they can't do it... But when Billy plays it makes everything sound whole, and you can see them relax into it. George literally says to Paul that it's great because Billy can do some of the fills so he doesn't feel like he needs to fill in all the spaces, and John says he doesn't have to worry about the rhythm as much either.

- Billy also arrives when there's already a massive shift in mood happening, because they're in a nicer place, and they're doing nicer things. They've moved from rehearsing and trying to plan a show they don't agree about, to recording! and people telling them how good it sounds! and getting things together! And mostly it's better because now they get to talk to Glyn and Lovely George Martin instead of bloody MLH. That's one of the biggest reasons they're all feeling happier. It's not just the move to Apple, or Billy's arrival. It's a whole confluence of better things.

- And yet it's all meaningless because no matter how brilliant and good they are, they're going to fuck it all up and decide it was terrible and ignore the LP and cry at the film and ruin their lives and meet with Klein on Monday. Oh well.

[ren-from-mars]

I’ve been doing some reflecting on this past year, and I really truly think it is the most artistic improvement I have made in any span of time. Of course, I’m going to be completely insufferable about it and have collected my best piece from each month with a few personal notes, so why don’t we go on a sprint down memory highway together?

January

At the start of the year, I was both adrift between fandoms and art styles. I was mostly aiming to find which style I could keep using, finish pieces quickly yet still feel proud of. It certainly worked in the moment, but as I pushed my boundaries more it didn't stick. Still, I look back on this style fondly! also proper throwback to my old username that i had for far too long

February

This was the start of me working on colour palettes. I lay down my main colour in the background and fit the rest of my colours around that. It was a good way to start experimenting!

March

Then the shift back to finding my style- I particularly like how the hair turned out in this piece! I also started trying more interesting poses here, and actually properly attempting hands.

April

I didn't finish any pieces in april as I had started working more hours and didn't quite know how to balance myself creatively at that point. I did lean into this style of sketch much more, which was good fun while it stuck around but ive leant away from it in more recent times.

May

Not much to say about may in particular, lots of the same things as the past few months with improvements here and there! just some steady progress :)

June

Cue the crunch of getting character refs done before artfight, and then only actually finishing one (which isn't actually complete, even to this day). But hey, more solid reference for My Guy ! I also leaned into drawing furries a lot more and have improved heaps in the difference of proportions!

July

artfight baybee!! no artistic differences, but it was a lot of fun scouting out other peoples character designs! I do hope to participate more this year :3

August

back to colours, though this month felt like a bit of a backtrack. Don't get me wrong, I do quite like this piece, but contrast-wise it doesn't have as much visual clarity as I would like. Regardless, a good learning opportunity!

September

Fun fact, I rendered this one entirely in greyscale! This was the start of me getting back into hatchetfield after being reminded of NPMDs release, and lets be real this part of black friday was chilling so I had to do something about it! I consider this piece a landmark in terms of my art journey.

October

Once again no real finished pieces, I was too busy watching nightmare time while waiting for the group watch of npmd. I did do a lot of studies of star wars characters from their live-action shows though, which was a fun learning experience!

November

This was the piece where I applied pretty much everything I had learnt throughout the year. contrast, colour themes, interactive environments and poses, the lot! and also. its them. how could i not

December

A perfect piece to wrap up the year with! Another step up from november, this applied lots of what I had learnt and pushed my boundaries even more. I have been aiming for more realism to actor's faces and body types, not out of it-has-to-be-canon-sake, but rather learning how to accurately depict someone's likeness from a few photo references. good practice for both live-action and animated characters!

Overall last year was absolutely wild. I can't wait to share my journey with you all as we go into 2024 strong!

[turtlemagnum]

been thinking a lot about vtmb. it's occurred to me that if you're immortal, you're probably gonna need at least a single hobby if you don't wanna go insane from boredom, so here's my thoughts on that so far:

jack seems like the kinda guy who'd get way into blacksmithing/woodworking and stuff to that effect. partially based on vibes, but i could also see it serving a practical purpose as a vampire. kinda doubt you could just go to any old store and buy a silver knife to protect yourself from a werewolf with, or a wooden stake.

this literally just came to me in a dream and i'm not entirely sure how accurate it'd be, i think nines rodriguez might be like, weirdly into needlepoint? seems as good of a way to kill time as any, i suppose. in my dream he made a little picture of a cat with it. also, given how his name seems to be a reference to the guns he carries, maybe he's a bit of a gun nut? might be less of a hobby and more of a necessity though

i don't think it's known how recent of a vampire damsel is, but based off of vibes i'd guess relatively new, probably some time between nines turning during the great depression and the "present"(2004). either way, she strikes me as the kind of person who'd have been an omnivorous reader even before being turned, and given the amount of free time you'd have being immortal, she's probably read every political book on earth. she's the kind of gal to not only know who gramsci is, but to have read all of his works and have a deeply opinionated view on it all; though i couldn't say what because im not im not a FUCKING NERD (joke)

i feel like jeanette's main hobby is fairly obvious, but with therese i'm not so sure. i feel i could see her doing some ghost writing for a bad mystery novel or something, but part of me wants to just say that taking care of the asylum is her Whole Fuckin Life, y'know.

lacroix also gives off the vibes of an omnivorous reader, but he'd be more of the type to read those How To Manipulate People And Make Them Like You kindsa books, or things of that sorta vibe. if you could imagine the average CEO recommending it, he'd probably read it. whether it's out of a genuine desire to improve his skills, or to laugh at how bad the humans are at it, i leave up to your interpretation. if you asked him about it, he'd probably say something supremely condescending about how hobbies might be vital for those who have nothing better to do with their lives, and how he has his hands full with the city.

VV. writing poetry comes to mind, i actually quite liked what she wrote in the emails. she's probably read a fair amount of poetry in her time, assuming that she's not just Naturally talented (most people aren't). she doesn't quite strike me as omnivorous, but i feel as though she'd like stuff with a tendency towards flowery language and romance as a theme, being a toreador and all

gary. film buff, and also probably watches porn recreationally. not in the same way that a normal person does, but in the way one might watch animal planet

ming xiao was always courteous to me and frankly, right up to the end she struck me as not that bad and arguably something of a straight shooter; though judging from looking up the kuei jin ending i was just being manipulated (which, to be fair, is nothing new for this game). her characterization seems mostly to be polite, albeit manipulative, and generally intelligent to her core. not sure what hobbies might entirely entail from that, but i'm gonna go with a kneejerk reaction and say strategy games like chess or go, and reading philosophy books. seems like a good guess, at least; though i'll admit that we don't seem to have A Ton to go off of. unsure if that was intentional as her like, not wanting to show her hand too much, or if the writers just didn't have enough time to characterize her as much as they'd have liked (or even if they just didn't put that much thought into it)

there's a couple that are pretty straightforward imo. strauss and beckett are deeply immersed in their respective scholarly fields (magic and history, respectively). in terms of minor characters, officer chunk probably spends most of his free time watching tv, wong ho gives off the vibes of someone who'd be way into something specific but fairly normal (like sports or video games), tseng is a gunfucker (bro, same), fat larry's probably into basketball given his jersey, so on

there are a few characters i either didn't meet, get to know too well, or have much to say on. never met heather or yukie. skelter was angry at me from when i first met him and got even angrier the second time i tried to talk to him, and since i don't like people being angry at me and i didn't see any way i could change his mind i just didn't try (gonna see how that goes second playthrough though, since apparently there is more to his character. maybe it had something to do with how my first playthrough was with a ventrue?). venus is pleasant but i didn't catch much of a vibe of what she'd be into, probably just drinking and domming.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Hiya, Laura~! Can I get your thoughts on Mereo and maybe Leo if you have the time? I do love it when you talk about the lion siblings~!

Hiya Erika~!! ^^ Yay, more lion siblingssss!!!!

Hmm... Well, Mereo I already established, in the Fue post, to be a kind of a genius. Because she was allowed to pursue her own path as a mage (and suppose to an extent, as a knight) by herself, because she could do it. I have a feeling that if she was told to explain how she does some things when it comes to magic, she couldn't. Like... in the same way why a gymnastic (apologies if the gymnastics around there don't agree), might not be able to explain in terms of physics why some move is best done in a certain way, but instead they just train and hone that skill through practice. So Mereo, isn't trained in magic theory, but it doesn't mean that she couldn't use the techniques.

She's the kind of a genius that is found from the wild, instead of some dusty college building. And she doesn't care about not being called as a genius. In fact, I don't think it'd be a word that she'd use for herself. Though, I don't think that she really even thinks about whether to use, or not use, the word to describe herself. She just is. And she's always trying to improve, because "the strong survive and the weak perish".

I also think that, that is why she wants to push her brothers to be the very best versions of themselves that they can be. She doesn't go easy on them, because the world certainly won't, and she wants her brothers to survive. It's the "if you do anything, you need to do it like you mean it!" And, to an extent, it makes me think that Mereo knows something, or has seen something, of which she doesn't tell to anyone. Which... she could very well have seen/become aware of, even accidentally, during her travels. Maybe she saw something she only understood later on, which pushed her even harder to be the person that she is today, to be out in the wilds, and to be the Uncrowned Undefeated Lioness. But then again, I also don't think that her character necessarily needs to have some big profound secret, in order for her to be just like that. It could also just be a product of her witnessing nature as it is.

And because she pushes her brothers, shows them tough love, and I do think that it is tough love, I think that she is an incredibly caring sister. She was also on a warpath when Fue was put in a coma. She went on a "I have will have your leader's head!!" (and she is yet to collect it, technically...) for Fue. Plus, she stayed around a bit more after that, as far as I can tell. But generally speaking she comes and she goes.

Additonally, I think that it's interesting how she's the only one out of the Fire Vermillions to not have made an oath, and thus gain the symbol on one's forehead. So, she really is living by her own rules, and for herself. She's not interested in the title of becoming the next Wizard Queen. But also, I find it interesting that the oldest Vermillion brother's have similar earrings as Vanessa, but that's again connecting to the Witch Queen Vermillion theory, and besides the topic...

I think Mereo I've seen Mereo being described as "sadistic", but I don't think that's accurate. She's tough, yes. She enjoys a brawl, yes. She's not afraid of bloodshed, yes. But "sadistic"? ...No, that doesn't... quite feel right. Because there is a difference between being a hunter, and enjoying the thrill of a hunt opposed to enjoying the suffering of the prey. But that's just my opinion.

Moving on to Leo.

I think that Leo is only now beginning to grow, or ... bloom (?), to go for the more Flower Vermillion kind of a thematic. And I think it's because he has admired his siblings so much, and taken what they, especially Fuegoleon, has said, to the heart. Leo has been trying to use those methods in order to grow stronger, but hasn't, or didn't, realize that it wasn't perhaps the right way for him to learn. Because there are as many learning styles as there are learners. And Fue's methods quite simply don't necessarily fit Leo the best.

But I'm really glad to see him striving in Heart! And there really is something so... warrior -like, in him saying to Sivoir "if you don't want to get hurt, stay out of the battlefield!". Like, he really went with 'if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen'. Which shows me that Leo means business, and he knows what being a knight means. It means sacrifice, it means (potential) loss, it means (potential) injury, it means protecting what's right, it means standing up for those who can't. I think that Leo is a very notable candidate for the next Wizard King, though he is a late bloomer, but he goes unnoticed. And I think that Leo would be a very level headed king.

Sometimes I feel that Leo is reduced in fanon into this dumb 'all smiles' guy, when he is talented, grounded, and witty in his own way. It's just that he hasn't had the chance to shine. And just like the rest of his siblings, he doesn't judge people based on where they come from, he judges them based on what they do and how they treat others. Mereo is more of a "real strength is real strength", and Fue is more "how you treat those who are lesser than you, defines you", and I think that Leo is a combination of the two views. He is boisterous and good natured, but he is a lion too, and can be ferocious when angered. He just needs to have his moment in the sun.

The Vermillion siblings are just the best, in my humble opinion

Thank you for the ask ^^

[southeastasiadiary]

Day Twenty, Part Four: Monks, Markets, and Manmade Goods

Even worse … well, you remember how I told you that all my art projects came out wrong, were criticized by the teacher, and had to be done over? As my pink napkin was drying, the head teacher walked over to my instructor (the young man in the video) with a concerned look on her face and told him (what else?) that I'd made a mistake. Here’s his polite explanation of what happened, using a diplomatic “we�� instead of the more accurate “you”:

So, as was typical, it was time to stay after class and do that napkin over again. Another day in detention.

In the end, the napkins came out looking like this:

Even the “new, improved” pink version looks as though it could stand a bit of a do-over.

My instructor then explained how to clean these napkins: Wash each separately by hand is a solution of salt water; don’t use soap or any other cleaning products; air dry them instead of using a dryer.

Which I translated as: “These are never actually to be used.”

I figured I was due for a brief rest late this afternoon, having gotten up at 4:30 for the alms ceremony. Then, refreshed, I set out again at 6:00 for the Garavek Storytelling Show.

We arrived a bit early, so Mr. Vong and I went on a brief walk. At 6:00 each evening, monks in the temples all over town begin chanting. We quietly stepped into one and listened from the back.

I’ll post some audio and video of the chanting in the supplementary photo album. Remember that, in order to have access to that supplementary album, you need to send me an email address or mobile phone number.

The windows of this small temple had columns of exactly the same design as those seen at Angkor Wat and, indeed, throughout Angkor.

Certain things don’t change over hundreds of years.

Then it was time to go back to the show.

The storyteller actually happened to be a friend of Mr. Vong. Several of his stories were accompanied by an instrument called a khene (pronounced “ken,” which, after the Barbie movie, made me want to call it “just Ken” every time the name was mentioned).

The khene is a little bit like Laotian bagpipes: A drone accompanies whatever melody is played.

Most of the stories were etiological, explaining the origin of certain mountains in the Luang Prabang region. But it was surprising how many of the story patterns (the trickster, Uriah’s/Bellerophon’s Letter, the external soul, being forced to carry water in a sieve/bamboo stick with a hole in it, and so on) are common in Greek mythology and other world folklore.

Here’s a brief sample of one story. A farmer is dying. He gives each of his ten sons a bean and tells them that whichever one of them grows the best crop will inherit the farm. At the end of the harvest, each son brings in more bushels of beans than the last. Each son, that is, except the final and youngest son. He appeared empty-handed and told his father, “I’m sorry, but I have failed. I did everything I knew, but I couldn’t raise even a single bean.” The father replied, “That’s all right, my son. You will inherit the farm. The beans I gave you had all been boiled. None of them would grow. But, while my other sons lied to cover their failure and simply purchased bushels of beans at the market, you alone told the truth, and that is the best harvest of all.”

[rhpsdys]

talie (they/she) && amair (he/him), the first two heads of the bard coven !!

( keep in mind reading ahead that these two were developed with @titanomakhea’s lore in mind, which is very canon-divergent; that is what you are about to read here. while they also exist in the “canon” version of events, their relationship to belos, the throne, && the coven system as a whole looks a bit different there. )

as belos' power && influence on the isles grew, he built his citadel around the bardic library, having seen first-hand how powerful bard magic could be. with proof of his ability to speak to the titan, && sensing divine influence, they welcomed him. belos && the bards had a close relationship, with the bards serving as many of his close advisors in the beginning. he understood && respected their music, && they in turn offered hospitality in the sanctuary of their library.

a bard named talie was among those most trusted, for their ability to quiet his restless mind with their lyre was unmatched. he in turn shared the secrets of his existence with her, the full power && form of a primordial god. belos forbade talie from revealing this to anyone, && she kept his secrets willingly. the two were very close, often seen talking or playing music/singing together, though no one seemed to realize that belos was at his happiest around her, or that talie's music improved greatly after meeting him, as if they'd found a new muse. talie herself was fairly private, && their written records were coded && sealed behind magical wards. though talie had sworn not to speak of what belos had shown them, he never said they couldn't sing about it, && so talie wrote a vast repertoire of lyric poetry, kept vague through metaphor && symbolism ; though there are some historians who have attempted to decipher these songs' meaning, no one has ever correctly interpreted them. (in the modern day, talie's music has to be translated from its original dialect, && all references to belos are mistranslated as "god of music", leading to the incorrect interpretation of these songs being about qhorhas. however, the more accurate translation is angel of music. as a result of this, && talie's privacy, almost nothing is known about them.)

when the time came, belos appointed talie to be head of the bard coven. talie later took on a young witch name amair as her apprentice. amair was exceedingly talented: he played the piccolo, && his music was so resonant, you could literally see the sound he produced ; even his speaking voice had a melodic timbre to it. he was a devout follower of qhorhas && believed in the extensive mythology surrounding the titans, but didn't buy into the whole 'the emperor thinks he's a god && can speak to the titan' thing — even though, actually, most of that was true... just not in the way belos advertised. still, talie had sworn not to tell anyone the truth, so amair remained in the dark.

eventually, when talie ceded their position to amair, && he became the next head of the coven. though he carried out his duties as assigned, && represented the bards well, he was very suspicious of... everything, especially as it became harder for belos to contain his real form. amair was much more skeptical about the suppression of magic within the coven system, && it was him who catalyzed the sequestering of the knowledge && power of bard magic, to ensure that belos never got his hands on the full extent of their magic — to use it or to take it away. it was instilled in future bards to publicly downplay their abilities, && following his time was when bard magic began to get a reputation for being weak && 'boring'. the bardic library remained a sanctuary for everyone on the isles... except for belos. he still controlled it, but he no longer was given the warm welcome he had been in talie's time. the bards had turned their backs on him, && that betrayal was just one more in a long list. much of the early history && documentation on elemental && wild magic was sealed away in a restricted section that only the library guardians && belos himself could access, further limiting the influence the bards could have on the people of the isles, but they were clever. no power of heaven or earth could stop storytellers from spreading knowledge.

[melchinafan]

I'm looking around for posts to read up more on alt text/image IDs/etc., trying to figure out what is preferred and how best to handle them. I've recently seen some posts using alt text instead of descriptions in the body of the post, and I remember something about alt text being fiddly for some folks though maybe not for others? But that was a bit ago so maybe there's been a tumblr update that made it better? Still not totally sure on that. (This article is pretty good so far, with clarification and examples of what each type of description is and what they're for. This one is also excellent, with a ton of thorough examples, though it's specifically art-focused. Tumblr-based link hubs I've found include this which has stuff about the why and how for various situations, and this which has even more, for both users and businesses.)

And part of my brain is going "my spoons, there's So Much involved here and AAAA..." (Both because I do try to make my descriptions Accurate and Interesting which takes brainpower to write...and also because I'm reading so much right now that my brain is currently full, so the mere concept of Having Spoons feels absurd at the moment.) But also I think...I think the basic flat starter sentences I keep doing are...what could/should go in the alt text section? (Like, "screenshot from [game]" and "stylized illustration, fanart for [thing].") I'm still reading, but if that's the case, you can chill, brain! We already do the alt text bit, we just gotta put it in a different spot.

It still does cost me spoons to also describe something after I've spent too much time drawing it. But I'm prone to sitting on things for a day before posting them, so I use that sitting time to at least start a description! Which I can then refine before posting, going back and forth between both image and description to double-check each for missed errors/potential improvements. AND sometimes I'm too lazy to pull out my tablet, so I'll start an image as a mouse-based doodle "note" to have the file ready to work on later...so sometimes I'll start the description then, if I've got a good idea of what I plan to have it look like! (Then it's doubly-important that I edit the description before posting, to make sure it matches whatever the actual end result was. But my perfectionism requires double- and triple-checking anyway, so it works out fine.)

Bonus benefit to image descriptions, besides increased accessibility (which is the point, and should be incentive enough to do them): I can indicate little details or intent in my drawings that might not be immediately obvious to everyone. Like, that Disco Elysium fanart I did had the swirling musical lines as a hugely key element that I pondered over and reiterated SO MUCH, trying to visually capture the audio differences I was imagining in every subtle way I could, even though the end result looks very simple. (Respective colors, different line thicknesses, and steady wave vs swooping swirls were obvious to me, but might not be to folks looking at it, yanno? Or they'd get the vibe, but not be able to explain why, so that could help make it "click.") Plus, I used the fuzzy edges and color fadeout as a nod to the Pale, which I also had the chance to add bonus hints about in the description (without having to go "HEY IT'S A REFERENCE" in the post itself). Or like this fanart of Ryou, I got to point out that the lineart placement and lighter areas of color not only served to indicate lighting, but also his slow movement and the fact that he's kind of dissolving. So yeah. Describing my stuff is also a nice little bonus to help everyone get in on what's going through my brain.

[n1ko-whoisdefinatelynotacat]

More out of canon lore dumping but specifically about Niko and Rizu here

I don’t know how to segway into this.

Niko Facts

Eyes: After the solstice run, and Niko finally returned home, they discovered that their eyes permanently glow. The same is also true when they cry, with their tears being a yellow color. This is likely due to it holding the sun so close to their eyes, which led to them absorbing heavy quantities of yellow phosphor. This has also improved their vision significantly, especially during the night hours.

School: Around the time Niko hit 13, their mom decided that it would be a good idea for Niko to attend a school in a somewhat faraway city. I did say around the time of starting this that they lived with its aunt, but I’m retconning that. This school is effectively a boarding school. So Niko lives in a dorm, and for the most part is free to do as they please, when not attending school. It was also discovered that Niko is a pretty bright student, and they were boosted into a somewhat accelerated course of study, and are allowed to choose more classes than others. One of these, to probably very few people’s surprise, was a coding course.

Possible trauma things: it’s highly likely that Niko has some form of ptsd, or just some severe reactions to anything that reminds them of some of the more traumatic moments within the simulation. I don’t know all that much about ptsd, so I’m going to look into it more so I can portray it more accurately. The things that can induce a response include black outs, computer glitches, especially when coding, and occasionally, something square shaped.

Personal identity: this is where some of my headcanons really shine. Personally, I think Niko was born afab. This could be me projecting a bit, but I digress. When they were younger, they decided they liked they/them more than she/her. Now, at this age, they have added it/it’s/itself to the pronouns they enjoy. They also identify as either demi-romantic asexual, or simply aroace. That’s one I’m working out still.

Rizu Facts

Hand deformity: Rizu was born with a slight hand deformity, thought it doesn’t cause her much trouble now, as she’s been living with it her whole life. She was born with three fingers and her thumb on each hand. Her fingers also lack nails, and instead are pointed on the end, with much tougher skin, and probably slightly stronger bones on the ends. This has never caused her trouble while learning how to play the many instruments she now does play.

Musical talents: Rizu from a young age realized she very much enjoys playing and writing songs. So she picked up a guitar, and learned how to play it, and play it well. Now, several years later, she can play not only guitar, but piano, and she’s currently learning drums, violin, and flute. She also still writes songs, and sometimes will work with others in the musical tract she’s enrolled in.

School: Rizu is attending the same school as Niko, in the same grade. She’s enrolled in a special music tract within the school though, so she takes different classes than them. They also live in the dorms, ironically, in the same one as Niko. That’s how they got to be such good friends.

Family: as any good comedic relief character usually has, she has a somewhat depressing background. Her father left when she was maybe 4, and her mother remarried to, at the time, a very pleasant woman. Sadly, a few years later, she found out her father had passed, though the reasons were unknown. And not only even a full year later, her mother passed as well. The woman who is her step mother displayed her true colors. She wasn’t necessarily abusive in any way, but she neglected Rizu to such an extent that for a long time, Rizu was severely malnourished. After her situation was found out, she was taken from that home, and later on enrolled at the school she now attends. She now lives there full time, and is technically the legally adopted child of one of the professors, specifically of one within the science tract. Identity: Rizu identifies as female, using she/her. However she does on occasion use they/them. She also identifies as a lesbian, and Niko finds one of the greatest pass times is in fact watching her attempt to flirt with women. She’s very bad at it.

[minuy600]

Review 78-06: Brain Games (Atari 2600)

People call me smart, yet I can't even properly get the hang of some games on this title. Big oof.

This one also introduces the keypad controller- though this ended up being rather underutilised on 2600 in my opinion. It really doesn't expand the range of things you can do as much as you think 12 buttons does.

Graphics (2/5)

This game ain't looking so hot. You have these big meaty squares on screen that are meant to represent the keypad, and boy is it ever unpleasant. It makes it all cramped in a way, for example when you play Find-Me and the sprites are condensed into those slabs. They could have put in more detail than that.

It's nice to have a better font for the words and numbers as compared to say, Blackjack, i'll give it a small point for that.

Sound (2.5/5)

I guess I like the weird glitchy noises the game makes whenever it shows you the panels you need to put in the correct order in Picture-Me. For the rest, it's all generic Atari boops. Not great, really, although they do change pitch depending on the number on the keypad, a tiny gimmick to make Touch-Me a little more enjoyable.

Gameplay (2.5/5)

All of these games are based around the idea of you using the keypad to select a slab on the screen, or to specifically type a numerical answer in Add-Me. That one doubles as my favorite, as I think having to solve simple math problems at a very quick rate (you can set it to 5 seconds) is an ACTUAL good way to train your brain.

The other games aren't my thing. Touch-Me, which got a dedicated handheld release later too, is a bout of Simon. The Logbook requires you to get a very high score in that one, which I considered to not be possible with my klutzy head. Then there's Count-Me, the same but instead of the slabs, you get the numbers of the keys shown instead. Same difference.

Picture-Me is easily my worst game, the one where you have to remember pictures and put them in the correct order. For some reason I SUCK at it even if it's probably one of the more well thought out modes, that also makes you a lil more sharp memory-wise? I dunno.

Find-Me could've been cool, but it's by far the easiest take on 'spot the difference' ever. The difference is so obvious to point out, even in the 5 second mode. Made it the quickest way to find out that the high score system is confusing and I therefore did not pay any attention to it. Lastly, Play-Me is a noise maker. That's all. It's nothing compared to doodling on Surround, that is for sure.

Overall, only Add-Me is genuinely cool to me, the rest are passable.

Longevity (2/5)

Ehhhh, decent variety, ho-hum execution. All games are done within a very short time span, most only give you 5 problems to deal with before it is over- so that makes some of them last literal seconds. That is not even close to enough for proper high score chasing.

This is a game you COULD pop in daily for a bit of head meat exercise, and I suppose the Logbook gives you a reason to keep trying to improve yourself in Touch-Me. I doubt that that happened much in the late 70s.

Overall

Not my favorite game of the bunch. I can see it's appeal but it's not got much drive in it for you to 'keep becoming smarter' (in heavy quotation marks). I think it works fine enough for younger children, and at least it does that better than Basic fuckin' Math.

Introducing, the long overdue expanded rating out of 10. With the amount of games that just end up being a 5 or a 6 now, I felt the extra nuance would be of use. Thought about going for a score out of 20 or even the Famitsu deal of going out of 40, but I prefer how this looks.

I'll now go back and change all the prior scores to be more accurate to the tally. Be sure to have a look at the 1977 overview post!