#even when i've moved things out i'm still going to have a decent amount of stuff at home so now i'm freaking out about needing to sort that

[lit-in-thy-heart]

fucking hate moving

[penny-anna]

i bought a flat this week.

was off work sick last thursday/friday with what turned out to be the beginnings of a bad cold but at the time i was just like 'oh no why am i so tired is this the return of the Mystery Fatigue'

let's backtrack for a second!! back when i had the offer accepted on my flat my solicitor suggested october 6th as a move in date and i was like sure that works (this was around the beginning of september). then i didn't hear anything from them for many days and then i started getting major dry eye problems that became all consuming so i didn't get around to chasing them.

anyway!! tuesday last week i get an email from my solicitor like 'hi are you still able to complete friday' and i did not have the headspace to deal with it so i didn't reply

Wednesday my solicitor calls like 'hi. we need to know if you want to complete friday'. i'm like 'actually i'm really not feeling well this week, could we postpone'. she calls back a few minutes later like 'they cannot postone'. at this point i'm still thinking that if i get a decent night's sleep i'll feel better so i tell her i'll deal with it in the morning.

Thursday i feel spectacularly worse. have to get up to go to an appointment with my optometrist. almost start crying in their office bcos i'm just so exhausted. (he seemed weirdly unfazed by this?? looking back i wonder if he thought my eyes were hurting or something and didn't realise that i was holding back tears gfhglj) call out sick from work.

plan is to take a nap and then look at the documents my solicitor sent over but she calls me again like 'hi. sorry to bother you i know you're sick but can we complete today' so i'm like ah shit ig we're doing this now. please walk me through exactly what you need me to do here. 'we just need you to send us the money'. yeah i can do that. i've never made a payment this big before tho.

(i'm buying w money inherited from my mother so even for a flat purchase it's an unusually large amount of money)

'oh yeah you won't be able to that online. *pause* are you well enough to go to the bank?' i am tired enough that going to the bank will suck but not so sick i cannot go to the bank.

i had gone fully back to bed. spurred on by sudden wave of adrenaline, get out of bed and dressed and get the bus into town to the bank.

my bank closes at 3pm weekdays and by the time i get that it's about 1:45. explain the situation. turns out that to make a payment this big you need a sit-down meeting with a member of staff and they are booked solid till 3. 'can you come back tomorrow at 9:30 when we open' *dying inside* yes. i can come back tomorrow at 9:30.

go home. remember that i'd told my manager that i'd call her at 9 to let her know if i'm going to be working (i will defo not be working & she knows this) which will be tricky if i have to leave at 9 to go to the bank. have a pretty interminable IM conversation via microsoft teams about this wherein i suggest i message her first thing and call a bit later and she isn't going for it. eventually agree to call at 9 just so i can end the conversation and go to sleep.

Friday morning end up calling my manager from the bus. get to bank. whole thing takes a full 30 minutes so yeah i can see why they couldn't fit me in thursday afternoon ghfdljkfhdj. i'm so so tired. they have to go over a whole fraud prevention statement with you. 'you should be aware that scammers can pretend to be your solicitor'. me, exhausted: okay what if just this one time. a scammer is pretending to be my solicitor.

make the payment. go home to sleep finally.

later in the afternoon get another call from the solicitor. 'hi we have the keys you can come get them whenever'. oh yeah i'd been so caught up in trying to get them the money i'd kinda forgotten about. actually getting the flat.

(side note at no point was i planning to move in on 'moving day', an advantage of being a first time buyer is that i don't have to & i want to redecorate the place which is easier while it's empty)

initially say i'll come in next week but then realise that ideally next week i'll be back at work (i am not but anyway) so i might as well go now. it's pushing 4pm so will need to head out ASAP.

eyes are very dry and itchy from sleeping all day but fortunately i just (on a recommendation from my optometrist) bought a thing called a facial sauna which is a very weird contraption but does work extremely quickly.

pack my eye drops and also a peanut butter sandwich to eat in my new flat (why not) and go get the keys.

arrive at the flat. on inspection realise that the envelope i've been given seems to contain the most random assortment of loose keys. eventually identify an actual set of keys.

put my key in the lock of the flat door. abruptly hear a cat meowing, somewhere very close by.

previous owner had cats (plural) (i know this bcos i saw them when i was viewing the place). have a sudden moment of panic that i've somehow wildly misunderstood the whole situation and that she and her cats are still in residence.

look down. there is a very large, very fluffy white cat standing next to me, looking up at me as if expecting to be let in.

'you can't come in. this is my house.'

make my first mistake: think that if i open the door i will be able to prevent the cat from entering.

cat goes straight on into my flat.

i'm now pursuing the cat from room to room saying 'hey! hey you can't be in here! this is my house!'. the cat doesn't give a shit for obvious reasons (it is a cat)

i might have considered just shooing the cat outside and shutting the door but have arrived at an IMO not unreasonable concern. cat seemed very determined to enter this flat in particular and is now roaming around as if looking for something. previous owner had multiple cats and moved out AFAIK today. i have heard stories about people accidentally leaving cats behind when they move.

at this point it's 4:55 on a Friday. call my solicitor and explain the situation. ask if she could pass on a message to the seller's solicitor. unfortunately they have already closed for the week so it will have to wait till Monday but she will do her best.

decide the next course of action is to see if the cat has any ID. the cat is wearing a harness & collar so might have a tag with an address. make my second mistake: pick the cat up.

the cat does not have any ID on the harness. the cat does NOT like being picked up. cat gets very squirmy and then begins scratching me. cat manages to break my skin through a hoodie.

i put the cat down. the cat hisses at me. this is very rude considering that it is in my house.

head across the landing to see if the people opposite are missing a cat or, failing that, know their neighbours well enough to recognise the cat. there's no answer.

however!! i hear a voice down in the stairwell that sounds like it could be someone calling out a cat's name. 'hi!! is someone down there looking for a cat?' no answer.

look down the stairwell. on the ground floor there is a very large fluffy brown cat wearing a harness. !!!!! that is my cat's friend!

retrieve the cat from my flat (fortunately it just follows me out) and head downstairs. am met partway up by the cat's owner.

'oh thank god is this your cat'. it is her cat. apparently she had opened her front door to let them out into the garden and it had wandered off. 'i just moved in today it came into my flat'.

she is very apologetic. cat is unrepetent.

go back inside. call my solicitor's office. 'hi was it you i spoke to just now about the cat' (I told 2 people about the cat) 'no i just answered the phone because it was ringing. what cat.' 'can you tell *solicitor's name* that i have found the cat's owner. she will know what you mean'.

problem solved!! time to eat my peanut butter sandwich. :)

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Snowy morning

requested: so @lillithathecat left a comment saying that she wanted a little something something with Cassy on the snowy day so here we go.

a/n Also, be gentle with me I've never written for this man before.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

"I refuse to leave this sanctuary," you laugh a little at your sleepy mate, who's inching ever closer to you under the covers. Still more than sleepy and not ready to face the day ahead. Cassian was big on morning cuddles. At the beginning of your relationship, he pretended that he hated things like this. After all, he was a manly man. Yet, it didn't take much work from your side to convince him that being a little marshmallow was way more fun. Now he craved your touch more than he craved food, and that in itself was a big statement to make. If he had the morning off or his day was due to start an hour later, you could find him in bed without needing to look anywhere else.

"It's chilly this morning", your fingers were tangled in between Cassian's messy morning hair as he hummed with every tiny pull and scratch to his scalp that you made. The winter was slowly approaching Velaris. And although it hadn't snowed yet, last night, on your way home from the pub, you could swear you saw a tiny little snowflake. Cassian, of course, made fun of you when you started squealing in excitement. But you craved that icy feeling, that cold that would pick at your nose, and most importantly, the snow that would crunch beneath your feet. "Perhaps it finally snowed," you muttered to yourself as your gaze fell onto the window, which was unfortunately blocked by blinds. Not letting you peek outside. "Should I put on a fire?", you barely managed to make out what your mate was saying as his face was long gone in the crook of your neck. "That would require you to leave the sanctuary," you teased him back playfully, and his arms instantly tightened around your torso.

"Yeah, take that back. Might die if I unwrap my arms from around you", one of his hands blindly searched for your hand and once he gets a hold of it, Cassian brings it back to his hair and you can't help but laugh a little once again, "Such a drama queen". You continue to massage his scalp. His warmth and the extra layer of heat that his wing's provided keep you nice and toasty without the offered fire. "I'm sorry that I love my mate so much", you roll your eyes s little. Gods, it was true—Illyrians were nothing but babies if you found just the right spot to scratch.

"But do you think it had snowed?", you ask again, this time much more loudly, "You're not going to drop this until I open a window, are you?". You bite your lip quickly, trying to control your smile. Of course, he knows you. He knows you the best. And he knows your obsession with snow. Cassian had asked you about it more than once, but you never were able to pinpoint why you loved it so much. You had a feeling that it was because it made you feel calm. You have to admit that there was something about watching the snow fall. The ground being covered by a thick white blanket.

Cassian shifted, carefully pulling the blanket off himself but making sure that your body wasn't exposed to the chilly room. "Don't get your hopes up because I can't have you crying for the rest of the day. I can't control the weather", you hit his chest lightly and he only huffs before climbing out of the bed lazily making his way to the two huge windows in your house that overlook a tiny rocky forest. The moment the blinds are moved to the side, you let out a gasp. Practice jumping out of bed as your hands move to rest over the glass. Big eyes taking in the view in front of you. It indeed snowed last night. And quite a decent amount. The grey ground was now a pure white cloud, the trees were all frosty as well, and what was even better was that it was still snowing. Big, chunky snowflakes that looked like cotton balls fell gracefully to the ground.

You felt your mate's hands sneaking over your lower abdomen as he brought you closer to him. Resting his chin on top of your head. "It snowed," you whisper-scream, looking up at him, and this time the general is full of fits of laughter. You're like a kid in a candy store. And if you were let to run free you probably would be out of the house face first in the snow, "I can see that you little snow-obsessed freak", you poke your finger at his abs angrily. Or as angry as you could pretend to be. "Thought we don't judge in this house. I came to terms with the fact that you dunk your cheese in tomato sauce", Cassian lets out an overly dramatic gasp, "Now you are offending me. That's a culinary masterpiece." "Yeah, right. Hate to break it to you but everyone's been lying to your face", and in a blink of an eye, you are being thrown over Cassian's shoulder with a tiny shriek from you. 

"Hey, I was watching the snow," you pouted, kicking your legs childishly. Cassian moved to bite the side of your thigh playfully, and you squealed once again. "Cassian," "You can do it from the bed while giving me love," he says, "You don't deserve it for offending my love for snow," Cassian carefully throws you down onto the bed before moving to light the fireplace.

"Do you remember our first winter together?", Cassian says while waiting for the fire to pick up before closing the glass door. You let out a giggle, covering your face, "You mean when you brought me to meet your family for the first time and I slipped down the hill on my bum?" It was so embarrassing that you had a little cry in their guest bathroom with Cassian sitting on the floor in front of you, reassuring you that it was fine and that no one cared. The most important part was that you hadn't hurt yourself badly. "You arrived quite literally", you tossed one of the spare pillows at him. He caught it with ease like that's what he does on a daily basis, before tossing it straight back at you.

Your gaze fell back onto the window, "You know what?", you ask and Cassian hums as he pulls out one of his sweaters, knowing how cold you get, and some socks for your always freezing toes. "Maybe I should have picked Azriel; he loves snow and has one of all the annual snowball fights." With that, Cassian is right on top of you, narrow eyes piercing through you. "Take that back right now," he says, you break into a grin, shaking your head quickly. "Take it back, baby girl, because you will not have the capability in your legs to go jumpy jumps in the snow when I'm done with you", Cassian takes both of your hands into his hold, pinning them above your head. A breath hitches in the back of your throat. You lift your head, reaching for his lips, but Cassian pulls his head back. "Uh ah, it doesn't work like that," he says. "Fine, you are the greatest, sweetest, strongest warrior ever, and I, oh, nearly faint every time I see you," you cry out in a soft, playful voice, and Cassian crooks his head to the side, watching you.

"You need to work on your acting skills, dove", "Ah, you're casting people for your play? What is it called? I've never won a snowball fight before?" Cassian gasps, both of his hands going under the shirt that you're wearing as he tickles your sides, kissing all over your face as well. Making you squirm beneath him, laughing almost hysterically. "Please stop, ahh," you whine, trying to turn your face to the side at least to escape his sloppy kisses, but there's no way out. "You are feisty this morning, take it back woman", his fingers dig into your side once more making you laugh even louder, "And mean it", you continue to squirm, hands gripping his biceps. 

"Fine, sorry, I will piss the bed if you continue," you cry out. Cassian's fingers slowly inch toward your face, squishing your cheeks slightly, and you're still laughing. The general shakes his head, almost in disbelief. "Gods, end me. How are you always so perfect?", he asks, golden eyes watching you. You shrug your shoulders before putting your finger on his nose, "I could ask you the same thing, you bulky sex god from another planet." Cassian snorts at your words falling onto your chest, careful to not crush you with his weight as you wrap your legs around his torso, hands once again combing through his luscious black hair.

"You are like a drug, and please forgive me, Mother, but I am addicted," your mate mutters quietly, leaving a couple of kisses on your exposed collarbones. "I love you too, teddy bear," you lean in, kissing his temple. You two just laid there together. The sound of the cracking fire creates a cozy ambiance. Your eyes drift back to the snowy day outside. "So, are we going out to build a snowstorm?", "Woman, I swear, lay down and don't move."

••••

All acotar writing: @brekkershadowsinger @cityofidek @baebeepeach @lucyysthings @hideing @urfavbrunettebish @historygeekqueen @marina468 @courtofjurdan

[kittytamasings]

Seeking help with $300 payment to grandpa by the 15th to keep peace under our roof

TL;DR I'm seeking $300 by the 15th to pay my grandpa so we can appease him and keep him off our backs while mom is away from home recovering from health issues. It's urgently needed so he won't call mom's phone to torture her over the payment. I want to make our burdens a little lighter with your help. More details below.

Life has turned upside down since last month. Mom experienced a mini stroke which led to her hospitalization. She did pull through and is now recovering her physical strength in the skilled nursing facility in preparation to come home, but she's had a host of various issues going on which contributed to her health issues.

She survived, but if she wasn't hospitalized when she was, she would have died that next morning. With much of my adult life being centered on caregiving for mom basically full-time, I've had to adjust my own lifestyle in the meantime which has been quite a challenge.

It's been a very stressful month navigating home life without her here. I'm not sure when exactly she's coming back home, but mom has been making amazing progress.

Meanwhile, poppy continues to be horrible to us. He says rude things, he makes passive aggressive moves at us in the form of leaving profanity-riddled handwritten notes on the door of his wardrobe in his bedroom or being passive aggressive things aren't clean enough to his standards. The usual. He hasn't been any nicer to us even knowing mom has been recovering and he even called up to the hospital to torment her a few times too. Sure, sometimes he'd be decent but there's almost always a catch with him when he's trying to butter people up.

To say I'm mentally drained is an understatement. But right now, while we are still figuring out moving stuff, it's taken a bit of a backseat to Mom's sudden stroke and other health issues. We'll be starting from basically the ground up when she comes home in terms of getting adjusted to home life once more with her back. I'm aiming for the $300 poppy needs for monthly payment stuff by the 15th. This will prevent him from being any worse to us as we try to take things day by day here awaiting mom's return home. I'm just trying to keep some peace under this roof and this is the big way to do that even if he's super critical and rude all the time.

It is a lot to ask for in a matter of four days, but think of it this way: if two people sent along $150, I'd hit my goal fairly quick. Or if three people donated $100. Regardless, any amount helps and gets me much much closer to my goal of being able to pay poppy so he can chill out and not be so awful to us while we're stuck living under his roof a while longer and adjusting to life. Please boost with reposts and such, I'm working really hard on things but I need to lean on others in these hard times. It's urgently needed by the 15th. This will also take stress off mom's shoulders because she's away from home still and poppy WILL call her cell phone to harass her if we don't appease him. You couldn't begin to understand if you don't live in this situation, all I ask for is compassion. Thank you for reading all this. Times have been scary and challenging but I'm trying my best to take them a day at a time.

[sageistri]

I have been entertaining the thought that RM demanded a solid promotional campaign and rollout since he’s been witness to everything that panned out last year. He watched from the sidelines JK getting posters, ads, promotion videos, playlisting, radio, influencer collaborations, media play and more. And I believe RM is someone who understands charts a fair bit. He watched one of them get everything on a silver platter and now probably wants a better package for himself too. Good for him. I hope everyone gets it. They still won’t get the scooter package, but anything is better than nothing. I hope JM gets it too. He’s gonna go to new heights with a half decent, unsaboataged album rollout.

Yeah so far his promo looks better than for indigo, not necessarily because of the posters alone but because I've seen a couple press releases giving insight into the album, and that's always a good way to drum up excitement.

But in my opinion all that doesn't do much if he's not getting the basics, the things that actually drives streams up and help with chart positions, which is good playlisting. What's the point of doing these things that only armys are going care about if they aren't doing the stuff that will get his music to a broader audience.

If a TTH placement wasn't the most important of all, some hybe artists wouldn't be getting it for every release and spending months on there.

Also I saw a lot of armys saying new jeans got the playlisting and support that BTS solos didn't get, and I agree but do they also forget that one member got more than new jeans ever got which means that Hybe could give it to the other members but they don't want to?. Like I understand saying "oh this rookie group got this but not bts", but I'm not going to blame a group of young girls for a decision hybe made themselves. Yes mhj is a leech, but I highly doubt she stopped bang pd from giving the others playlisting. Armys talking about payola when when jk is literally right there. If jk could spend months on TTH with multiple songs then I think other BTS members could get a good placement as well.

Like we all witnessed seven being moved up multiple spots on TTH in a single week, when usually the playlist gets updated weekly. Do you know the kind of in you need to have to get Spotify to do that?

Posters mean nothing when there's no playlisting, radioplay or even a good amount of physical cd stocks. If those weren't the ultimate needs, jk wouldn't have gotten all of that with 50k CDs being restocked every week.

Yes Tae got versions (but no CDs mind you or TTH), Hobi got CDs (and posters according to someone) but still no TTH. Everything's worse because the members aren't even here to perform or promote the music at all so they should be getting other ways to spread their music. At this point they can only hope a miracle happens for them.

Y'all don't understand how much work playlists do for an artist but I do understand and that's why I always talk about it. It's how you increase your monthly listeners because more people are introduced to your music, it keeps your Listener count and streams stable even of you don't drop music for a while. The weeknd doesn't have the biggest streams debut but he has the highest monthly listeners in the world and stability because his songs are added to a shit ton playlists.

At this point it feels like Hybe is doing all these little things like posters and CDs (with not even enough stock available) to hide the fact that they are not actually doing anything. Like I seriously doubt jk had less than 50k CDs first week for all 3 of his singles, but here they go giving other members 10-20k CDs that never gets restocked again. But of course jk Stans will say "I thought y'all said x could achieve what jk did if the got the same promo?, well look at friend(s)"... Itunes pre-orders and a couple versions does not even begin to put a dent in the kind of promo and push seven got but ok. If Hybe decided to give the other 6 members the exact same kind of push jk got they would definitely go bankrupt so why would they do that?

So right now even with Jimin I'm not banking on them doing what's expected, my hope right now is that he's able to get a broader audience even without their help. Lots of other artists have done it and he could.

[goodluckclove]

CRIMEEEEEE

TELL ME THE CRIMEEEE

So I think this is from when Sleep Deprived Hangover Man invited the internet to ask them about the crimes they committed as a youth. I will be honest, this is not a super great thing I did. But because the statue of limitation is up and honestly none of the crimes are really - significant? They're just weird. I was an angsty, turbulent, manic youth.

And it turns out, I'm an equally turbulent adult. I tried to list the weird semi-crimes I've done in my childhood, and it sort of turned into a guide on how other young people can kind of break the law and get away with it. Maybe not law. Policy? Yeah, so it's not great and I'm putting it under a read more.

Disclaimer, since this is still technically my author page: I do not think any minor should do most crimes without just cause. Like within the legal system the trouble it could get you in sounds like it could really set you back for a long time. I actually don't even think you should immediately implement my advice across the board without practice and introspection and observation. It's actually a way harder skill to cultivate than people might expect, but if you can it will help you for a long time for things other than crimes.

Ideally you don't do it. If you want to, learn how to tell when the right time to do it would be. Don't make a point to inconvenience people more than you have to, both because that's a nice thing to do, and because it improves the odds of you getting away with it. I need to stop telling young people how to do crimes. Or do I? I don't know. If anyone has questions about my philosophy and experience you can ask and I'll say more.

I am a professional weirdo. Let's do this.

Let's go in a vague order!

I was suspended for terrorist death threats in the third grade. I do not believe this is fully my fault but it is a thing that happened.

I shoplifted a pretty decent amount, but not in a way I think any other youth would find cool. I stole candy and pens. But like GOOD pens.

I used to carry glitter glue on me for the sake of writing poetic phrases on various surfaces

Once I walked into an empty business lobby and moved around some plants and furniture, and then I left. If there was a camera there I probably created a strange story.

I generally trespassed a bunch of places all the time. All the time, straight up. If there was an open door or unattended hall that I wasn't supposed to explore I'm absolutely exploring it and taking whoever I'm with with me. I learned pretty quickly that I was charming enough to pull off being caught and getting myself out of it without any consequence. Literally, if you aren't actively causing trouble and just wandering around someplace you know you're not supposed to be, just tell someone who finds you and asks questions that you're lost and you aren't sure where to go. Like maybe you thought this was a way to the parking garage or the bathroom. Assuming I wasn't stealing, causing damage, or shouting slurs, this has worked for me 100% of the time.

Literally, if you do crimes that aren't crimes, you should practice being genuinely nice

Not fake snarky nice, like actually polite and respectful

You didn't realize you weren't supposed to be hanging out in that lot or in that parking garage. You were just trying to find a place to sit and chill. But yeah, you'll leave.

Yes, in retrospect walking down the lightrail tracks wasn't a safe or practical idea. But you took the wrong train and you genuinely didn't know how to get back and this was the only idea you had. You're just trying to get home. Look, you're even buying a ticket (I like never did that as a youth holy shit)!

a teenager is not going to win a fight with an adult who perceives themselves an authority. I don't think you should do whatever adult authority figures say. I do think that you should learn how to navigate your way out of conflicts within spaces in a way that means you can still use that space

if you break a rule and, instead of fighting, take the honest stance that you didn't mean to do that and, in fact, you actually need help from an Adult Authority Figure for a slightly unrelated thing that doesn't actually matter to you (directions to a place, maybe).

I genuinely just wandered around wherever I wanted and this always, always worked for me. I'm really good at looking confused and like I need help, because most of the time I am actually confused and need help

You are not in a sitcom and being sarcastic and snarky to a person that catches you trespassing will not not to anything but make you think you're cool. They'll still make you leave, and now you can't go back to the place you explored because you're the person that started shit instead of the person who got confused and made a mistake and apologized and left.

Adults in authority positions automatically assume a young person in a place/doing a thing they aren't supposed to do will turn it into a conflict. If you genuinely, honestly respond with respect and curiosity, I almost guarantee you'll get away with it. Fucking say you've never tagged before and you weren't really sure if it was still a crime in a place like this, but you get why the person is upset.

Offer to clean your own tag. Like not ironically. Ask if they have some supplies or if you can come back. Be entirely serious, say you're realizing it wasn't a good idea and you kind of regret it. This doesn't have to be true, but it will rattle a security guard or manager far more than if you call them a fascist.

They might yell still, but if you give them nothing they can justify as a reason to keep yelling at you they're actually going to look like the weirdo to themselves and everyone around them

thesis: misdemeanors are a lot easier to get away with if you are unafraid to look like you're naive and willing to learn and adapt. You might feel like it's a blow to your pride, but in the long run you will be able to do way more questionable shit. i came to this conclusion when I was 14 years old and decided I'd rather do weird shit than have the adult minor authority figures think i'm a peer or a worthy adversary, because neither of those things would happen anyway.

Okay so this just turned into a guide on how to do a misdemeanor. I should say now that there are crimes that are bad. Even tagging, something I truly enjoy, does create more work for employees and sanitation workers. That's frankly why I like ways that are easier to remove than spray paint and postage stickers if it's something you want to do.

And I'm not necessarily pro-shoplifting as, like, a hobby? I don't think it's great, mainly because if you are caught it'll probably lead to you being banned from the store you stole from. Which, if you're young, can be pretty hard to hide from the adults in your life. And the shaming that results from doesn't seem worth whatever you took. I still have a mug I shoplifted from Target, and I am not thrilled that I stole it, because it reminds me of a time in my life when I felt so shitty I decided to steal something to feel in control of a situation. And that sucks.

Compare that to moving furniture in some random office and then walking way. That's so fucking funny and I do not regret doing that at all. Imagine you're looking at security footage and you see that. That's some cryptid shit.

Young people - if you are weirder and nicer about it, the amount of stuff you can do widens extensively and you can potentially confuse adults who work otherwise boring and stressful jobs for a long time to come. Case closed.

[elderberries-and-honey]

𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 "𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘦" 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥

Dear Marmee,

The bitter cold crept in slowly at first but there is no denying winter has arrived here in Wales. Everything is now covered in a sheet of white snow.

Every morning, I wake before the rooster's crow. Our friend Beth has moved in with us and she enjoys knitting very much. She has knitted me two new sweaters before Christmas has even come and they keep me much warmer than my worn-out coat from last Winter. It's a good thing too 'cause there's still much to be done on our farm, though I've made a rather decent amount of progress.

Even so, we hardly had any remaining produce leftover for ourselves after selling what I was able to salvage from our terrible blight. I won't burden you too much with our troubles but things have been rough here for us and I know Winifred is silently troubling herself over it.

You mentioned Jo is trying to get published? Please let me know how that goes for her. I think it might just inspire Winifred who is still glued to her typewriter whenever she has the time to write.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

I'm sorry to hear Jo was turned down in her quest to get published. Hopefully it won't discourage her from trying. Have you heard from Amy in Paris? How are Meg and Mr. Brooks? How does Beth like teaching piano?

Many of our animals, including the thorn in my side, Frank the Goose, passed on near the end of November. Without their eggs and milk to sell, money is tighter than ever.

Winifred has begun fretting over how we will make a good Christmas for Ozzy. So I've started working at the pub again to help us make it through the rest of winter and afford a few gifts for him. I'm struggling to come up with an idea on what to get Winifred, after all, how could I top her typewriter? If you have any ideas, please include them in your next letter.

Ozzy is doing quite well, thank you for asking. He likes to "help" me on the farm but mostly he enjoys playing in the snow with the garden shovels and trying to escape to our small pond. You would not believe the tantrums he throws when I have to wrangle him away from the edge. I can almost understand how my Father felt when I was a boy and he would paddle my bottom. The boy is like a fish the way he enjoys the water! Even bathtime seems to be his favorite part about bedtime.

It was a struggle to get him out of his crib and into a real bed but we needed to complete the transition before our new little one arrives. With Beth here to teach us patience, I can proudly declare we have finally succeeded.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

We're approaching our due date rather quickly, a little under 3 months now. Millie has been staying with Louise for the Winter (and giving her free cooking lessons) after agreeing to stay and help Winifred deliver the baby, which I'm thankful for. I know this is a huge relief for Winifred. Her last delivery was not without complications and I know she grows uneasy the closer we get.

I know Winifred believes the baby will be a girl but I have my own suspicions we will welcome another son. I'm not wholly certain I could handle another little girl after we lost Flora. Not yet, rather. The pain of losing a child never truly leaves, does it?

I did not mean to ignore your inquiry over how I'm fairing. I must keep a courageous face for my family, and consequently I've grown used to wearing my mask of gallantry. Since you so kindly asked though, I will admit that I am a little worn down as of late.

I spend long hours tending the farm and go to work even longer hours in the pub. Valerie, good hearted as she is, is not the best co-worker, often drinking herself stupid before the nights out. I suppose it's true what they say about you Irish folk.

Most of my trouble comes from myself, I suppose. I watched my father save this very farm many times over and I should want to do the same. But with every plant that refused to sprout, I found myself resentful over having ever inherited it.

I think of my wife, the writer, the poet, and how she is able to read Ozzy her stories. I think of Jackson with his pub, and his son, Patrick, who's becoming a doctor, and you with your bookshop. Even my father who provided my mother and I with food, and a roof over our heads because he cared for the farm so tenderly. All of you, with such passion.

Even if I was as passionate as my father, the farming industry is changing. All these extravagant advancements are putting farmers out of work all over. If the farm were to go under, what would I do? It's all I've ever known.

If I don't have time to write before Christmas Day - I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Send my love to your girls and wish them the same for me as well.

Sincerely, Lawrence

P.S. Don't be cross with me for the joke, I only say it in jest. The Irish could drink me under the table any day of the week and sing a merry tune whilst doing so which is rather remarkable.

next / previous / first

[dearcat1]

Entertainment Purposes

Part 2 of Nana's Son

So calling the boss dense to his face wasn't Squalo's best idea. Doesn't make it any less true, however. In front of him, Lussuria clicks his tongue in that annoying mothering way he has. "Where does it hurt, Squ-darling?"

Fuck those stupid nicknames too, Squalo thinks sourly. He gestures at himself in wordless reply and gingerly sits down on the cot. "So you know how the boss and Sawada are dating?"

Lussuria arches a brow, looking at him with a decent amount of judgment. Fair enough. "Squ, they've been together for over a year already."

"I know that," Squalo snaps, wincing when the Sun digs his fingers in already bruised flesh. "You know that. Apparently, they don't know that." 

"That can't be right," Lussuria shakes his head but Squalo can see the beginnings of exasperation in his face. "They sleep together."

Squalo's palm shoots up to cover his eyes. "I know. How is this happening to us?"

"Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?" Lussuria wonders, fingers light like feathers as his flames sink under Squalo's skin.

"Yes!" Squalo moves, ready to start pacing but one look at the medic's face has him stilling. "I confronted him about putting me in charge of his date night reservations and shit," he waves away Lussuria's disapproving look. "It's not my job, I'm not his babysitter! Anyway, I confronted him about it but he was just confused. Kept insisting that Sawada and he are just working together. That things are this way only because it makes it more convenient." 

"And our little Tsuna? How did he react?"

"You know how Sawada is before midday, I'm not sure he even knows what was happening or what the boss fed him." Which is great for Sawada because the boss is the worst cook Squalo has ever met. But before midday Sawada will eat those concoctions without even a blink. By now, there are poisons out there that will have no effect on the brat. "What are we going to do?"

"Do?" Lussuria arches a brow. "It's their relationship, that's for them to figure out."

"You just want the entertainment value," Squalo sighs but he's not opposed to it. "Fine. Now that I've confronted him with it, I'll give the boss maybe two months to figure it out. One for freaking out and then another to muster the courage to confront Sawada. You?"

"Squ," Lussuria shakes his head. "Six months to a year for the boss to figure it out. And once he does he's going to fish out our little Tsuna from wherever he is, there's going to be a lot of property damage but they'll figure it out."

"Six months to a year is too long a gap," Squalo grunts, already fishing out his wallet. "You know better."

Lussuria snorts. "Fine, darling, a year." He writes down his bet on the little slip of paper Squalo offers him and carefully tucks it back inside the swordsman's wallet. "Should I ask the others or will you?"

"I'll do it," Squalo decides because those two deserve the embarrassment.

[andromedaexists]

WUPDATE: Desecrate

𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚍𝚊𝚢, 𝙼𝚊𝚛𝚌𝚑 𝟼𝚝𝚑 || 𝙱𝙴𝚃 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚄𝙶𝙷𝚃 𝙸 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝙶𝙾𝚃

sorry for stepping away for a few weeks, there were a couple things happening in my life that required my full attention!

BUT I'M BACK!!! (a lil bit late BUT THAT'S OKAY) and I come with news!

I was accepted into Lavender Con! It's a new book convention in Washington, DC that's coming up in June! I will be attending as an author with 2 days of signing time for Call Me Icarus! I will also be bringing a couple proofs of Incorrect Eyes, I might even give them out as ARCs!!

Incorrect Eyes is entering revisions! I stopped working on it for a few weeks to let it ruminate while some alpha readers looked at it. Not all of my readers have come back to me at this point, but I have enough feedback that I want to start working on it and get it rolling!

Desecrate is entering re-writes! I have a decent amount written from last spring when I used Desecrate as my final project for Starting A Novel. Since then, I have changed a lot of things including the entirety of Kit's personality, so the story is going into full re-writes!

I have a new project on my plate! I had the idea for a cozy fantasy that I would love to work on in the background as a way to sort of decompress from my heavy hitters (a.k.a. my stories about: rebellion & revolution, paranoia & body horror, and the deconstruction of religion & religious trauma). This is a background work so I don't wanna talk too much on it, but i'm very excited about it!!

I think that covers most of what's going on! I spent a lot of time developing a (nearly 10k word) plot outline for desecrate and we're going back in from square one!

But I know y'all are here for the snippies:

snippies are going to be a little bit different moving forward now that the news of tumblr feeding our posts to AI has come out. I've already opted out of this happening again, but just in case tumblr is a soulless corporation (it is), I am still going to remain cautious. That means the snippies I share will now be from early drafts of my stories and will not be the same as they appear on page. They might also be shorter! but I don't want to stop sharing all-together

from desecrate:

Kit feels emotions thick in the back of his throat as he walks through the home. Everything has been left untouched, covered by a light layer of dust from the year of vacancy. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have a lot to move in, there isn’t much room left. “Whoa, are these all you?” Benny asks from across the room. Ah yes, the Kit wall. His mother had installed it in the house before they moved to the city, leaving his papa here alone. It’s the far wall of the living room and it’s filled with hundreds of photos, all of him from the time of his birth up until the day they moved about a decade ago. Kit walks over to join Benny just as Father Isaac comes up behind them, resting his hands on their shoulders (Kit & Benny are shoulder to shoulder w/ father Isaac between then but behind them family portrait style). His eyes scan over his youth photographed before him. Pictures of him as an infant in the frilly dresses his mom made him wear, pictures from every year of ballet he did, pictures from ever sport he ever participated it. “Oh my God!” Benny gasps. “Kitty, you never told me that you were a cheerleader?” In her hand is a picture from 8th grade, the year before they moved. The year before kit’s life changed. A pang of sadness resounds through Kit’s heart as he looks at the picture. He was happy, truly happy then. He misses those much simpler times when he didn’t know who he was but that didn’t matter, that didn’t stop him from doing what he loved to do with the people he loved.

TAGLIST

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[haunted-xander]

When she woke up the next morning, she felt much more rested than she had in a long time. Probably due to her warm, breathing pillow. ...Ah, that's right... I hope Komaeda-kun slept well too.

Just as the thought passed her mind, she felt Nagito stirring beneath her. "...Ah, Nanami-san, good morning... Did you sleep well? I hope I was a sufficiently decent pillow... ahaha." It was clear he had just woken up, drowsiness lacing his every word. "Mmm. You're an okay pillow. Slept really well... What about you? Hope I didn't suffocate you in your sleep or anything... That would be bad."

"Ahaha, I'm perfectly fine, Nanami-san, there's no need to worry! Though even if you did suffocate me it'd be alright! I wouldn't mind at all!"

"Youe self-destructive habits will need to be worked on." Chiaki hadn't noticed Izuru getting on the bed, but now he sat up and looked at them with his usual blank stare. "...Oh? Do my eyes decieve me? Kamukura-sama's face looks almost fond today. Maybe you're not as emotionless as you claim, ahaha. How despairing. It wouldn't do for you to get sentimental now. You still have so much to do, to achieve! You won't let something as illogical as 'feelings' get in the way, will you?"

"...Be quiet, Komaeda."

"Ahaha, you're not denying it, Kamukura-sama. That means I'm right, doesn't it? Kamukura-sama..." Nagito's voice got lower, menacing. "I've noticed this happening an alarming amount recently. Maybe you're not empty after all. That won't do, that won't do at all." His voice got so low and quiet she almost missed it.

"I'll need to empty you again, it seems. How despairing."

A tense silence filled the room as Nagito and Izuru stared at each other. Chiaki had no idea what they were talking about, but she had a feeling that her input wouldn't matter. ...'Empty' him? What does that mean? Komaeda-kun... What's he going to do? And... isn't Kamukura-kun gaining emotions a good thing? Komaeda-kun doesn't seem happy about it, though... Maybe that's the brainwashing talking. ...I don't know what to do...

In an attempt to break the tension, she decided to comment, "...Hey hey, I'm hungry. Let's make breakfast." Both the men turned their attention back to her, their faces finally easing up. "...Ah, of course. My apologies, Nanami-san." As Chiaki moved to get out of the bed, Nagito followed suit, and took off his jacket while at it. Izuru had already gotten up, removed his jacket and tie, and was waiting for them by the door by the time the two of them were standing.

Chiaki filled the air with meaningless conversation as they went to the kitchen, not wanting the tense atmosphere to creep back in. "Oh, by the way. what kind of games do you guys like? I like just about everything, but right now I'm really feeling some party games or fun co-op games. I haven't really had anyone to play them with lately though, and playing with CPUs isn't nearly as fun. We should play some together! I don't have to work for a couple of days so we can play tons! It'll be really fun!"

"Why don't you have to work? I figured the Future Foundation would want to control this area as soon as possible."

"The message said it was so we could 'get settled' into our apartments. But enough about that. What games do you wanna play first? I brought my Switch and a few handheld consoles so there's a few options to choose from. Maybe one of the Mario Party games would be good? There's a lot of them available on Switch and they're really good-"

"Nanami, there are no chairs in the dining room. We can't eat here." Izuru cut off her Mario Party rant to bring up an... important point.

"...Why are there no chairs here? Ahaha, that's odd, isn't it? Did a burglar steal only chairs or something? What a despairingly ridiculous theft to make!" Bursting into a far too long bout of laughter, Nagito tried to joke about the absurdity of the situation. "...Oh, right. I forgot to mention that. There's no chairs in this apartment, for some reason. We'll just eat on the couch for now. We can watch something on the TV too that way, so it works out. ...Assuming it works, that is."

"It will work."

"...Can you elaborate on that?"

"No."

"Okay." She turned her attention to the shelves and searched for plates, glasses and utensils. "...So, what's on the menu, Kamukura-kun?" The man in question made a face. "I don't recall us ever deciding I'd be the cook."

"...Well, I can't cook and I doubt Komaeda-kun can either. Besides you've got basically every talent possible, right? Then you should cook for us... I think." A second of silence passed before he sighed and turned his back to her, going for the fridge and looking inside. Chiaki and Nagito took this as quiet confirmation that he would cook for them after all. "...We'll be having curry. There is nothing else I could make with such sparse ingredients."

"Oh nice. I like curry."

"If Kamukura-sama makes it, then it's guaranteed to be delicious!"

With that, Izuru went ahead and got started on the curry while Chiaki tried to set up her Switch on the TV, and Nagito sat down on the couch. "...The TV seems to work fine, and electricity here is fine too, so we shouldn't have any problems playing games. We should probably save multiplayer games until after we've eaten, so let's start with something simple. ...I'm kinda feeling Kirby right now, but what about you, Komaeda-kun?"

"I'm fine with anything you want, Nanami-san!"

"...That's not what I asked, thought." Chiaki pouted at his non-answer. I should've expected that answer. He's always been like that. "...Let's see... I've got some good RPGs here, but those are kinda long and intensive, so let's keep those on hold for now... hmm... How about Mario? Mario Odyssey is really good. What do you think, Komaeda-kun? ...And don't say something like 'Anything you want' this time. I want a real answer."

"...Ahaha, my apologies. ...I'm not well-versed in platformers, but I... would be interested in giving it a try?"

"...Is that your real answer?"

"...Yes. I promise I'm not just saying that to make you happy. I really would like to try it out." She continued to squint at him, trying to see if he was lying.

Satisfied, she let up her scrutinizing stare. "...Okay, good. Let's play Mario Odyssey then." She put the game on and handed the controlled to Nagito. His playstyle was clumsy, but he quickly got the hang to the controls and was doing well enough.

This was the sight Izuru walked into when he entered the living room, pot of curry in one hand and plates with spoons stacked on top. He silently placed it on the table, briefly left, then came back with three glasses and a pitcher filled with water. He sat down in between Chiaki and Nagito, who then immediately huddled close to him. "Kamukura-sama is so warm~ Is that from the kitchen, or just your body heat? Ahaha~"

"Mmm yeah... So warm... Like a heated blanket..."

"What an oddly specific thing to compare him to!"

"...Just eat already." Although his words were dismissive, his tone and expression betrayed a layer of fondness. ...Maybe Hinata-kun isn't completely gone after all.

They enjoyed an oddly peaceful morning together.

[theowlgoesmoo]

Human AU for ABL/Silk and Stone

So, I recently realized that a lot of my human designs for my bugs... are kind of all over the place, outfit wise at least. So how do I make that work? Well, boredom at work is a beautiful thing, and so I've come up with a background to explain all that. (I'm definitely not going to turn this into a full-on Au because I've got my hands full already, but it's a fun experiment.) Anyways, here's what I got so far:

THE WORLD AT LARGE/ANT ISLAND

The world is set in a post-post apocalypse, a la “Nausicaa” or “Breath of the Wild.” There’s little in the way of advanced technology or large civilizations left, but people have done what people do, and have rebuilt. There are little pockets of humanity alive and well scattered throughout the healing world. 

Amber Isle is one such pocket. It is a small island nation ruled by a monarchy, and has been so ever since it was first settled centuries ago. The island kingdom consists of little more than a single city and a few scattered villages and farms, with a population barely topping ten-thousand people. It survived the apocalypse pretty much unscathed, as It was too tiny for anyone to notice or bother with.

Now it's doing quite well for itself, considering the state of the world, and is considered prosperous. It mostly subsists on farming, fishing, and mining, though its people have a flair for the artistic, and its capital (and only) city is a remarkably beautiful place.. Its culture is aggressively traditional, and even more so after the apocalypse. Anything new - especially in the way of technology -  is looked on with suspicion, seen as a waste of time or even a sign of arrogance. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it” is the prevailing wisdom of many of the leaders, one they enforce.

Tech-wise, it’s hanging around the late 19th/early 20th century, and that’s being generous. There’s a decent amount of heavy machinery around (such as tractors), but most of it is slapped together or salvaged, often highly inefficient and far from reliable. 

HOPPER

The kingdom has been doing well for itself for maybe a century or two, until a gang of pirates/raiders land and pillage it regularly. Eventually the monarchy reached a deal with them, where they'd offer tribute every year to keep them away, consisting of food, money, booze, cloth, fuel, metal, and whatever else they demand. 

“Captain” Hopper leads a gang of cutthroats known as “The Swarm”, who get around using jerry rigged speedboats and jetskis. They sail out from their mothership (A likely stolen cargo ship turned floating pirates den) to collect tributes from the surrounding islands and coastal towns. Well, the smart ones who have struck a deal with the gang. The Swarm will pillage and loot the ones too stupid to not agree to their very reasonable terms.  

Most of the gang came from a small rural county far, far to the south of here, all leaving their homeland for one reason or another. Some had committed crimes terrible enough to earn them banishment. Some simply were lured by the promise of an easy life of hedonism and violence. And some, like Hopper’s young brother, simply had nowhere else to go. 

DOT

Dot is still adopted into the royal family. One night, a massive yacht/small cruise ship was caught in a horrible storm offshore of Amber Isle. A team was assembled to go out to it, including Flik. Best case scenario, they're a rescue party. Worst case...a salvage team.

When they reach it, they see the ship is practically destroyed. It's already sinking, and absolutely riddled with holes - and not all from the storm by the looks of it. This ship was attacked. The team moves fast to try and find any survivors, but all they find is death… save a single sailor. The man is delirious and yells at them to find the royal family. 

The royal family's cabin is easy to find, but it's been absolutely destroyed. Half the room is missing, blown away by what looks like the blast from a cannon. There’s no sign of the royal family, save for a small though elaborate empty crib in the in-tact corner of the cabin. It’s been tipped over on its side, likely by one of the crashing waves tossing the ship about.

But it looks like it only tipped over recently.

Flik is the first scout to enter the room. He hears crying from far below, and his heart sinks. A baby! She's fallen into the water! 

The water that is teeming with sharks, drawn here by the smell of death and the many sinking bodies of the late crew.

Disregarding all personal safety and sanity, Flik dives into the water, leaping from the hole in the cabin the child fell through. He swims out to her, adrenaline coursing through him as he thrashes through the raging waters. By a miracle, he manages to grab the tiny girl, before swimming to one of the small boats the scouting team used. With a herculean effort, he lifts the baby up to one of the men aboard, before he’s hauled in himself. He’s half-drowned, but alive, and so is she. A heavy tarp is tossed around both him and the child, the best the scouting party can do to 

Around the girl’s wrist is a tiny, golden bracelet, bearing a crest no one aboard recognized. They didn’t know what dynasty it represented, but it was obvious the girl was royalty. A tiny princess, saved from the sea, and likely the last member of her house.  

The ship shudders, and obviously there's no salvaging it. They've got minutes before it's fully taken under. The scouting party, the rescued sailor, and the baby princess are all loaded up, and return to shore, Flik holding the girl to his chest the whole while while keeping her wrapped up in his coat. 

The royal family takes her in as one of their own, adopting the little princess. As she had no name of her own, she was christened Dorothy by her adopted mother.  Her name was often shortened to Dot however, mostly due to the immense amount of freckles she had all over her - a trait almost unseen in Amber Isle, and one that earned the poor princess more than her fair share of bullying. Being different has its price.

For his bravery, Flik earns himself an accommodation from the queen, one that, among other things, grants him a high degree of trust when it comes to the little princess, and he becomes a part of her life, with her growing up and viewing him as an older brother or father figure - a role he is all too happy to play. (It’s the ending of “Seed”, let’s just cut to the chase =p)

[plothooksinc]

hi! if you're still answering questions...I think you mentioned you found a life partner without dating. as a person who is thinking they might be asexual but might still want a life partner... I was just curious about how that happened for you. (please feel free to ignore if this is too personal!)

Ah, man. First, no, it's not too personal! I just delayed long enough to check in with my housemate to make sure he didn't mind me talking about this.

But for us it just- sort of happened naturally. I've known my housemate for 27 years at this point and we met when he was a customer at the RPG store I ran. Then at some point I joined a game of his and then he joined a game of mine and we started talking as more than customer-manager? And then he joined the people I took home with me at night (I hated going home to an empty house so I was constantly bringing guys home with me lmao, I don't know WHAT my neighbours thought but they were legit only coming over to hang out and play more games) and then I realised he literally lived on my route home and I started knocking on his window at 2am on my way home from work and hanging out with him there for a bit, and then we went from friendly acquaintances to actual friends, and then "that friend I will ring when I'm having a bad day, pls come over and bring me something to eat" and then he wanted to move out of home and I could no longer afford living on my own and had bounced around homeless a bit and so we rented a house together. Which was rough as hell to begin with because I do not play nice with people in my living space and so I nearly moved OUT again, but by the nature of struggling to run a business and having no money we ended up living together long enough we got used to each other's rough edges and then. Then we just KEPT living together. And a lot of life happened and we just got used to living with each other, and we've always been just friends-- I mean when we first moved in, I was still dating! We didn't even know asexuality was a thing back then. (Or at least I didn't, he might have. It didn't come up. For me, I was still engaged in "fake it until you make it???" which is the fun game of the asexual when you don't realise you're asexual.) But over time it became-- well, still friends but kind of like married friends, because we just knew each other too well and could balance each other out. When I finally was introduced to the concept of asexuality (I was 35 by that point jeez) I was so relieved I just settled right into the concept of living with my best friend for the rest of eternity. And he's also ace (or Chris Hemsworth-sexual as he puts it) and we're just... comfortable together. And know each other's minds to a very startling degree, the amount we're in sync is hilarious sometimes. Last year we bought a house together, so that cements we're just gonna live together forever. I kept this as brief as possible because you would not believe how many times I wanted to go off on tangents about the kind of incredibly decent man I live with. I have no sexual attraction or desire for intimacy of any kind, but I love him all the same. He's like a best friend/brother/something other. And... there was no plan to it, it all happened naturally. Which is probably not helpful to you I'm afraid-- we didn't plan to avoid dating and go straight to life partnering, it just happened. But all I can say is to wish you well, anon, and to also say: aces and aros tend to gather together. When I realised I was ace, I discovered a great many of my friends were also ace, because... like recognises like, I guess. And that means that if you're ace, the chances you're just gonna gravitate naturally to other aces and have a chance of just progressing into something warm and long term with one of them is a lot greater than zero. I hope for all the best for you. ♥

[vexy-hexy]

I watched Lio's response video, and while he proved a good amount of stuff (mostly with Peaches being horrible), I have a lot of problems with it

I commented on his video with timestamps from the first 2 and half hours or so (my comment talking about after that was deleted before I could post it or save it, FML)

But, anyway, I figure I'll put my commemt with most of my issues here with the timestamps:

"While I absolutely acknowledge that Peaches is garbage and manipulative and I feel sorry for you for what you went through, I have to point out some strange things that I've noticed in this video. I'm commenting on this as I go through the video

17:03 that screenshot doesn’t say what you said it did

While Lumi DID say it's fun to fuck with people, the only thing they say about using slurs is that they have no issues with people using slurs they can reclaim and stating that is also what yhey do, before jokingly calling Peaches the f slur

I think you know this to, as, so far, any screenshots you KNOW prove your point have stayed on screen for a decent amount of time, whereas this screenshot was only there for about a second

I also find it odd that you have someone voicing the accusation document, you don’t have anyone voicing the screenshots you bring up

17:52 I disagree. Rosa being able to get mad over an opinion on Star Wars is not even in the same ballpark as removing a predator, who, may I add, was one of the highest tier mods in Rebeccah's server at the time

Also, if you find the anger you had with Rosa justified, where was that anger when you DID get Rebeccah in call? You know, not only the one with the actual power to remove N3koPan, but also the one who tried to move in with a 17 year old?

The Tek-no podcast happened BEFORE Rosa revealed she knew about N3koPan, and you came into that call already aggressive towards her because she suggested an internet horrors episode be made on your friend, a known harasser who sent people death threats for disagreeing with him, and someone that you only finally stopped white knighting for when he did something against you

23:34 that's not a sob story, that's Kumo explaining his side of things to you

Also, Peaches consistently says the Rosa call happened in 2022, but it happened in 2023. I don’t know why you haven't called that out, but that’s a pretty big oversight

38:43 but you HAVE lashed out at victims of abuse before for behavior that is normal in a victim, the Jibz call shows this

It's normal and even typical of victims to return to their abuser and, while Jibz WAS 100% in the wrong for giving their abuser the contact information of another minor (even if they weren't groomed), you yelled at him (?), sexualized him (calling him their abuser's fleshlight, among other gross things), and questioned his sexuality as a Lesbian because his abuser was a man

1:25:16 it IS vigilantism

Vigilantism isn't always putting on a cape and beating up punks for snatching a purse, it's getting involved in legal matters that you have no authority to get involved in

Cambridge defines it as:

"The practice of ordinary people in a place taking unofficial action to prevent crime or to CATCH and punish people believed to be criminals"

LSD law defines it as:

"Vigilantism is when individuals or groups take the law into their own hands and act as law enforcement without legal authority. This can include punishing people they believe have committed a crime or enforcing their own version of justice"

You have stated before that you are "barely qualified to do predator hunting", but you still get involved which could then make genuine attempts to take legal action difficult, if not, void

One could argue that pulling someone believed to be a predator into a call of multiple people berating them relentlessly is you punishing them without legal authority, or if a confession IS given during the call, they could easily argue it was coerced or given under duress, as you have stated you can find where someone lives by a picture (which can and has been taken as a threat)

1:28:16 proof of Jay encouraging negativity about your wife?

2:03:30 talking about you and Peaches fighting is giving context. Jordyn says outright that he misunderstood and thought you knew about what Peaches did. Why would he tell you something he thought you already knew? And Jordyn says they don't like Peaches, so why would they talk to or spend time with him or wish him a Happy Birthday if he didn't like Peaches?

2:04:35 that proves nothing, this conversation could've been before the mental issues, or could be him trying to focus on something he liked

2:07:07 why aren't you showing the screenshots Jordyn apparently provided in their video? That's incredibly suspicious

Several people in your own comment section have stated they haven't seen any of the videos by others intentionally. By not showing the supposed screenshots you're talking about, you are not providing the evidence you are "debunking", only saying what it supposedly says and arguing against that

Maybe Jordyn's screenshots DO show this stuff, but, because you didn't include them in your video, some people won't know since they refuse to listen to other sources

If anything, this makes it appear like you're hiding something

2:12:57 proof of Jordyn being in others streams?

2:18:57 that screenshot literally says CHROME decided to send the message to you, despite Jordyn telling them NOT to

2:22:01 it didn't make sense that someone who has shown game ending tendencies would look for weapons they could game end with...

2:28:21 she never said anything about being a MOD, she said she was Rebeccah's FRIEND

2:31:04 That doesn’t show Rosa was a mod for Rebeccah. It shows someone asking Rosa if she wants to join their staff TEMPORARILY and Rosa says "of course"

We don't know if "deleted user" is Rebeccah from this, and, again, it also says TEMPORARILY

I have many other issues with this video, including that you didn't prove that you apologized to Rosa, accused her of lying without evidence, and a bit more, but I lost that comment with my more detailed thoughts and timestamps

Fuck

In conclusion, I thought that the video had a lot of problems, and it just solidified my opinion on Lio being manipulative and disingenuous further

The screenshots were weird, some being way too small to read unless you squinted, others being blurry, or them disappearing too fast, unless they showed what he was actually saying, which is, to say the least, suspicious as fuck

Also, I HAVE seen Harley's video on Peaches, and while I agree with most of their points and think they did a good job, I can't help but side eye them and Ponder (which sucks because I used to watch both of them). They were in this call that happened over a YEAR ago, so why is it that Harley is only talking about this NOW after it's been revealed to the public and Omnia made a video, and, aside from the interview Harley had with her in video to clarify things, Ponder has seemingly not yet said anything about the situation on her own platforms

Also, I don't remember seeing anyone give Peaches shit for covering the faults of Camilla Cuevas after she tried to hurt Peaches, so I don’t know why people are framing Omnia doing a similar thing regarding this whole situation with Peaches as them being petty and not letting things go

Also, after responding to a comment in a way that I believed was calm and civil, Lio told me to "Kick rocks", to which I commented back in, admittedly, a harsh way, while also trying to focus on the facts

I've also had 2 separate people inform me that they can no longer see my comments to Lio on the video, so I assume they've been deleted, whether by Lio or YouTube, I'm unsure, but, if it was Lio, that pisses me off, especially since his comment telling me to "kick rocks" is still there, so I feel some people may think I look like a coward

Once I learned my comments were apparently gone, I commented at him again with this:

He had yet to respond again despite the fact I sent that 2 days ago

Needless to say, I am a little pissed at this whole situation, especially since (if I'm remembering correctly), he BARELY addressed the facts that he had the FCK screenshots for months and didn't do anything, and downplayed Peaches' inaction there himself by blaming his being groomed (actually being the first to both bring it up and insist upon it) and ignoring the fact that, in the call he himself showed as evidence in the Crystal Flame video, Peaches ACKNOWLEDGED that Slimurz would've been a minor and they would've known

[a-cat-in-toffee]

ramble abt your abraxas au? it looks so cool!!!!!!!

I'm gonna take this as an opportunity to talk abt helming in this au because i have put an absurd amount of thought into something that could easily just be breezed over

this is gonna be long so

quick warning for taking abt helming and stuff !!! so i guess mild body horror discussion? i dont think theres anything specifically in this that is. like bad? but if that sort of thing makes you uncomfortable thats mainly what this is abt!!!

(side note if this makes no fucking sense please feel free to execute me in the street xoxxo (side note side note there are a lot of different elements from different aus and fics that i've consumed so if you recognize anything thats probably why))

i went a little bit into it on @the-starship-abraxas (please go check out my blog for this au and send asks spspspsps cmon guys) already

SOLLUX: oh, that2 my port2. ii can plug iinto the 2hiip. SOLLUX: they're mo2tly along my 2piine. SOLLUX: equiiu2 iin2talled them whiile we were 2tiil on world, and he upkeep2 them. SOLLUX: human-troll technology make2 tradiitiional helmiing and piilotiing faiirly ob2olete, 2o a lot of 2hiip2 have helm2 whiich the helm2man can detatch from. SOLLUX: ii plug iin and 2ort of become one wiith the 2hiip. SOLLUX: iit2 really fuckiing cool.

so, the ports!

as stated before, a helmsman's ports are primarily along their spine because the biowires connect to their spinal cord and basically hijack the signals from their brains. Biowires work the same as any other wall plug or cord except they're alive and have nerves and interpret brain signals and plug into a person's body. Fun times!

the way "traditional helming" would work is goldblood psionics would be assigned ability levels depending on how strong their psionics were and depending on that they would be assigned to ships. the stronger the psionic the larger the ship, since traditionally they would just. straight up throw it with their mind.

after the colonization of earth and the introduction of actual technology into alternia's biotech, what the pilot could actually do in a ship expanded a lot. Since the psionic could become aware of the ship from not only a physical sense but a significantly more mechanical sense, pilots were given the responsibility of both moving the ship as well as being aware of damage, communications, and other such things.

most psionic ports and helms have psionic stoppers which cap off the amount of energy that the psionic can sort of put out into the ship (The abraxas does not have these because Sollux has the equivalent of several programs running in the background at all times and they would short out every time.) so as to not pop helmsman like a mustard packet.

when is comes to the actual helmscolumn I don't have any art but I do have a blurb from my abraxas drabbles (I swear I'm going to start the actual fic someday)

The helmsblock was a decently large room, with various technology and computers built into the walls. The centerpiece though was, of course, the helmscolumn. Pilot technology had come a long way from just strapping up psionics to ships and having them hurl themselves across space, and nothing showed that change quite like what the pilots were strung up into. At the roof and floor were two circular fuschia platforms, mirroring each other and curving inwards. In some places surrounding the platforms similarly colored bio wires hung, tucked away, unused, and, if you looked close enough, almost writhing against each other. In front of the column you could see two small control panels, intended for the pilot to be able to use as they flew.

the column itself/some of the design details may change as time eternally marches on but for the most part the helmscolumn is meant to be technologically up to date and safe, yes, but it's also meant to be incredibly showy. While piloting has come pretty far, helmsman are still often shown off or seen as ship accessories.

even though its not like. a rights violation to have a poorly taken care of pilot. its still generally frowned upon. just cause things are better doesnt mean they're good!

(also while it is common practice for pilots to be able to disengage from the helm it's not uncommon for ships to have fullhelms.)

I hope this ramble was to your liking !! i have. just so much shit for this universe.

[hurrl]

You know I gotta request a fic with Chrys and Ronny. Maybe the theme can be teasing? 😳👀

OF COURSE!!!

Listen. They're roommates in this one

For whatever reason, when Ronny woke up this morning, he decided to choose violence.

"You know you snore, right?" He walked into the kitchen, an impish grin on his face knowing Chrysalis was in there.

"I literally don't" Chrys hadn't even finished her protein coffee, it was too early for his shit "But if it's such a problem, you can always leave,"

Chrys had moved Ronny after her dogs, Dolce and Gabbana caught him mid-break in a few months. Normally she would've let them tear an intruder apart, but there was something about Ronny; a certain "wet ratness" to him that made Chrys want to keep him. He was like her own personal project. A pet!

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you," Ronny put up both his hands, "I could hear you from down the hall last night. Seriously, whoever did your nose job probably deviated your septum, you should get your money back,"

"My septum is perfect, my nose is perfect," Chrys said in a sing-song voice as she placed her hand over her heart. She then clicked her tongue and scoffed, "Literally suck a dick," "Know where I can find one?" He laughed. He was honestly surprised at how easy she was to piss off today. "There's a huge one standing in front of me,"

"Too bad I can't suck myself,"

"Remove a few ribs, you'll find a way," Chrys scrunched up her nose, as she began to exit the kitchen.

Hey, wait, no! He wasn't done messing with her!

Ronny followed Chrys down the hall and made sure to invade Chrys' personal space as she walked.

"Aw, don't leave, we're having fun. So what if you snore-"

"I don't snore, snoring is for ugly people!" Chrys huffed.

"Wow, I really stuck a nerve, huh?!" Ronny started to cackle- he had this really annoying hyena laugh that made Chrys cringe, "C'mon, don't get mad at me because I told you the truth," "Oh, you want the truth?"

Shit, he was about to get kicked out, wasn't he? He started planning on how many things he could swipe before she sicked the dogs on him.

"Pfft, yeah! Let me hear it!" Despite acting so brazen, he was preparing himself for the worst. This really was one of the better places he's stayed at, yeah he could swipe a good amount and make a decent profit, but he knew he'd miss hanging around.

"I think you're really cute, Ronny," Oh she's doing that again.

"Ha ha," He feigned a laugh. He had fallen victim to this Chrys tactic in the past, "Not falling for that one," again.

"No like... seriously," Chys twirled her strawberry milk pink hair, "I know I've joked about it before, but you're actually really hot. And I know you're only messing with me because you feel the same way," "Yeah I also think I'm really hot," Ronny rolled his eyes, this was lame, she had turned his fun into a joke. He tried to walk past her but she grabbed him by the shoulder and pushed him against the wall.

"Don't you ever imagine what it would be like, you and me?"

"No, why would I do something like that?" He felt his face heat up, if he had never thought of it before, he was thinking about it now. He knew she was messing with him, but still, it was kind of hard to not think about it when they were chest to chest.

"Your face is all red!~" Chrys teased, "It's cute when you blush like that," She brushed a piece of his hair behind his ear

"Can you fuck off?" He was determined not to entertain her.

"Aww, are you upset?" Chrysalis pouted, "You want it to be real, huh?" She giggled, "Well guess what? we can make it happen, right now~" She tugged him closer to her by the belt loop of his jeans.

Fuck-

"Someone's excited," She purred. He knew better than to play into it, but since she was going this far- "Why don't you take care of it then," Nailed it, he probably sounded so sexy and cool right there.

"PFFT HAHAHA!" Chys let go, holding her sides as she laughed, "Oh my God oh my God, what was that?! Eugh! yuck!"

"I was just playing along," He fell for it AGAIN

"That was not playing along. That was full on- I don't even know what that was? Some sort of pseudo-dom bullshit?"

"It was a joke-"

"Uh-huh, sure," Chrys nodded with a smug look on her face, "You know I really was considering fucking you before you said that corny shit,"

"No, you were just messing with me because you were pissed off about the snoring thing," "I was, but like," She gave him the once over and shrugged, "You're cute enough! It's just, like, IF we ever have sex I wanna have sex with Ronny, you know? Like... my Ronny. The one who broke into my house and almost got mauled by my dogs, he's awkward and annoying-" "I don't know what you're talking about,"

She laughed through her nose with a shrug before walking off, "You know, I got a fleshlight through PR if you need to take care of that problem I caused~!" God, he couldn't stand her sometimes... but since she was offering-

[never-seen-again]

Redemption and Jägerman: The Half-assed Character Analysis

Hi, yes, this is going to be very long and probably a decently niche thing, so if you don't care about one random person effectively infodumping about how they view Max as a character, I'm not going to make you scroll for too long (aka I'm going to try to put in a break) (this bitch is so fucking long). (Edit: things get serious, so like, if you want things to be light and fluffy just keep scrolling my dude)

So, you've decided to suffer through my madness. Good luck. I'm going to be talking about a few main topics: Disillusionment & Confronting the Problem, Cognitive Dissonance & Rationalization Reinforcing Behavior, and Expectations in Redemption. I'm going to close out with some background info on myself to give context to the POV these ideas are coming from. If only one or two sections seem interesting I'm going to make the sections clearly marked out for better skipping around.

Disillusionment & Confronting the Problem

I don't think Max has heard a single thing he hasn't wanted to hear from someone he wasn't actively dehumanizing in several years. He's been surrounded by yes-men for at least the run of the musical, but almost definitely longer in "reality".

The Jocks we see (Kyle and Jason if I remember correctly) are, from what I've seen, cleansed of most/all culpability based off of their response to Max asked if they should let Richie go unscathed (and their later apologies to Richie and Grace, which are far more important, even if they are a bit half-assed with the 'until max comes back' part). While they do say "ha-ha, Yeah," It reads more as a 'oh, Max asked a question, just immediately agree with him' to me. They don't even stop to think about the content of the question. Blind agreement. I think the fact that neither moves from their position of boxing Richie in says that regardless of what Max asked, the response would've been the same.

These two even follow up with the unprompted commentary on Grace, who prior to Max's intervention in this scene was firmly in the "Loser" category. I bring this up because yes, these two stop the bullying after Max's death. But while Max is undoubtedly the catalyst, I can't be sure he's the cause. We would need to know what Hatchetfield High would look like either a long while before or after Max's influence or an alternate version of it wherein Max was simply never part of the equation to be sure.

(I'm going to go into the Pasqualli's scene and Jason's acceptance of Peter in the next section, so I'm not going to address it here)

While I was in high school, I had conversations, one on one, with people who I would, on large, consider assholes. In these conversations, they were like, decent people. But in their groups, they were still assholes. Could I see myself willingly hanging out with them as they were? No. But were they the people they were when one on one? Maybe. There is something to be said about social pressures to conform, but I won't get into that clusterfuck.

There are very few instances of anyone actually standing up to Max. Peter stands up to him, but he's a "Loser" (A concept I refine in the next section), Jason expresses doubt but doesn't direction challenge Max. The only person who isn't a "Loser" who shows intention of standing up to Max is Steph. Who, on the way to put into motion something that would possibly confront Max, gets pulled into Grace's Bully the Bully plan instead.

Not even adults seem to have put in any amount of work to actually trying to remedy Max's behavior. They just ship him out to an anti-bullying assembly and call it a day. In the Bathroom scene we learn that Max has "cool-kid privilege," in regards to actual disciplinary action, which to be fair likely wouldn't fix anything, but it shows the complacency of adults here if he has literally never been suspended or at least given detention for all the shit he's pulled both within the musical and what we can infer happening before it.

While I doubt Steph alone could break through the yes-men and "Fix" Max with just one conversation, I think she could place a seed of doubt in his mind. And Max isn't dumb. There's only two things that point to poor academics that I can recall: Remedial Algebra, and the tutor. And that doesn't really prove anything. I myself have nearly failed math classes, and I'm really good at math! Knowing this, either Max will either think through enough of the opposition of someone he respects, or he'll dismiss it entirely. Which is our first step toward Redemption.

Cognitive Dissonance & Rationalization Reinforcing Behavior

Max has categorized every student into one of two groups "Loser" and not that. These are somewhat absolutist titles. No one changes groups, ever. Except for Grace. Something I'll touch on later in this section. First I want to talk about this Fundamental Fixedness and how it contributes to my perception of Max. I believe he's constructed a very fragile way of maintaining himself. He's been to enough anti-bullying assemblies to get the gist that hurting people is generally considered bad. Whether that's internalized or not, I don't know. But again, I think he's smart. But he still hurts people. A lot. What if those he brands as "Losers" aren't quite people in his eyes. Still human, still whatever else, but lesser. Able to be abused without consequence. After all, he doesn't get any.

Now, I don't think he was birthed into this world with this conception. I think he trended toward popular crowds in primary education, and became a standard order bully. Emulating the behaviors of those above him in standing at this point, something small at first. Something justifiable. Like beating up a kid who snitched on a friend of Max's. As small actions had to be justified, the gulf between "Loser" and not expanded, to the point of dehumanizing "Losers." Then as he kept rising the ranks of popularity, he reached the top. But then he needed to extend a gulf between himself and the other popular people, to make his position infallible. He became their god (or in "reality" developed a God Complex). He alienated the "Losers" before alienating himself.

Now, what would happen if a "Loser" rose to the rank of not "Loser"? suddenly Max would have to contend with that he's actually hurt someone worth something. And if one person can rise past his labeling, then others could to, and he's hurt way more people than he realized.

But where does this leave Grace? Well, I don't think Max has actually placed her out of the "Loser" category. I think he's giving her special privilege until he gets what he wants out of her. There's a few posts that talk about how Grace's abstinence is a symbol of her faith in the Christian god, and how in sacrificing her chastity to the LiB she also sacrifices her faith to them. What if Max has a similar thought. That in acquiring the 'forbidden fruit' as it were he gains power, or more realistically, a greater sense of control. Max presumably hasn't shown interest before now. He's likely had other games he played for feelings of control.

Now, how could any of this possibly be an argument in favor of Max. Well, the next Step to Redemption would be abandoning the Fundamental Fixedness and taking on the burden of his actions. He has to contend with all the things he's justified under the dichotomy. The only reason I ever considered Max to be redeemable is because he makes it halfway through this step in the Musical. He accepts that maybe these roles can't be Fixed positions, specifically for people he isn't trying to get anything out of. Then he fucking dies. But he does abandon this ideology. Unfortunately the acquisition of supernatural powers and the drunken anger he felt as he died didn't make for a healthy way to handle the resulting dissonance, and instead got him pushed further off of the God Complex Cliff into a 'Yep, I hurt people and that's okay to do, because I'm god and everyone is below me' rather than the arguably healthier 'oh fuck I really fucked up I hurt so many people, shit'.

We see that he has stopped caring who is a "Loser" and who isn't. When Richie stands up to him with the iconic "I'm not a Loser" Max agrees. But it no longer matters. He knows he's going to kill Steph. She hurt him the most. But hurting someone he deemed "Cool" is still something he has trouble with. So Richie and Ruth are his warm up. He needs that time to adjust to hurting people, regardless of their rank. They aren't "Losers" anymore, but he's hurt them before, he can hurt them again with fewer issues. After Ruth, Max just goes wild. He kills Miss Tessburger, the mayor, tries to kill Shapiro, so on and so forth.

Max needs to abandon the dichotomy without going full homicidal maniac. Probably the expected when you don't die and gain supernatural powers that allow you to engage in the one remaining coping mechanism you can actually engage with in death (the coping mechanism is violence, if that wasn't clear).

Expectations in Redemption

Now, even if he does deconstruct the issues he has and how he's exerting control, he still needs to apologize, make efforts to rectify what he's done to those that even want him to continue affecting them, and accept that many will be unwilling to forgive him.

No one has any obligation to forgive him. That is the main thing. The specifics of what would even come close to what Max did being 'rectify' what he's done are beyond me, they'd likely vary character to character. But it is achievable.

Closing Statement

Also, Max is 18. While technically an adult, that brain is so undercooked, and this kid is young. I'm sure most people have done things they regret. Even things they doubled down on at the time. Things that only through hindsight do they realize how poorly they acted. I've acted in ways I don't like that at the time I thought were perfectly justified.

If Max makes efforts to be a better person, he deserves that chance.

Writer Bias and Background

Hi, said I'd do this. I am working with my experiences as my framework. As such, being clear about what those experiences are in a broad framework may help inform you of how much of my opinion you deem valuable.

I've never dealt with bulling to the extent Max inflicted on the students at Hatchetfield. In elementary school I was tripped with an amount of regularity, in middle school some kids poked and prodded me during classes to get a reaction, or to laugh at my lack of reaction despite their actions. In high school I was called a [f-slur] several times and threatened with violence once. My experiences are incredibly mild.

I am presently in college, working towards a psych degree. I have taken very few higher level psychology classes. I am not an expert, I just know some base level stuff about some of the vocab, which I have utilized here. My usage of these terms is based on my present understanding of them. I probably made mistakes.

There may be some confirmation bias occurring, be it from the pretty privilege that max has from being portrayed by an attractive performer, or just a deep seated self-loathing that manifests as a need for characters to have a path to redemption regardless of their failings.

Fuckin' ridiculous that I feel the need to include this but I am a part of the "Michie nation" as it were. It shouldn't really matter, but yeah, this is more about Max Jägerman's ability to become a better person given the opportunity than any romantic entanglements he might engage with.