#evermore a thoughtful response to herself

[myprideandialone]

I enjoy the entirety of this album on first listen, which Never Happens™, but the vibe of each song is so similar that I'm not sure how much it stands out to me as a whole. I think I still hold Evermore and Rep higher based on the out-of-left-field songs even though Midnights almost exclusively comprised of those.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Now That We Don’t Talk | Jake Seresin blurb

Takes place during the TGM events

TGM masterlist

Characters & Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x ex!reader (past romance), the dagger squad (platonic)

Content Warnings: light angst, profanity, slight suggestive content, cheating, breakup | female!reader | wc: 2.2k

Note: I’m obsessed with 1989 TV and I’ll admit I was never a TS fan growing up but her OG 1989 I liked and I fuck with some songs Evermore, Reputation, Lover & Midnights. That being said, I’ve got the vault tracks on repeat and as a fellow directioner….Harry, baby, I thought you’d be safe.

————————

“You went to a party I heard from everybody. You part the crowd like the red sea, don’t even get me started. Did you get anxious though, on the way home? I’ll guess I’ll never ever know. Now that we don’t talk.”

His number had been deleted for well over three years when she stepped foot into the familiar bar she once called a second home. It’d been just as long since they’d seen each other, neither aware they’d be reunited in mere moments. When she did find his face among the crowd of their colleagues, she froze, contemplating running out the door and back to her car. Images of their last night flooded her mind. She could recall the constant pinging of her cell phone. Text messages from mutual friends informing her that he had been seen in an intimate embrace with another woman before disappearing from the party.

When he got home he avoided her like the plague. Anxiety consuming his entire being, making it clear the rumors were not rumors. They were true as the sun brightened the sky in the day and the moon reigned at night.

“Jake,” her whimper made him freeze, hand on the railing of the steps leading to their bedroom. No response, only a shake of his head before he continued his journey up. Leaving her to cry herself to sleep on the kitchen floor.

It was a domino effect in the days following. The trust was gone, Jake going out more and coming back late at night. Eventually after two weeks of prolonging the inevitable, Jake returned to an empty apartment. All reminisce of their five years together gone in the blink of an eye. She left a simple note, “Hope it was worth it.”

“You grew your hair long, you got new icons. And from the outside it looks like you’re tryin’ lives on. I miss the old ways. You didn’t have to change. But I guess I don’t have a say, Now that we don’t talk.

Natasha was the first to catch her eye in the Hard Deck, putting down her beer to run over and greet the pilot with a quick hug. Careful not to let anyone else see since they were in uniform. “I’m so happy to see you, Blue.”

She returned the smile, though hers was more tense, “It’s great to see you too, Phee. How’ve you been?” Nerves swarmed her belly with each passing minute. Despite being happy to see her old friend, she was unable to ignore the elephant in the room. The man she thought she’d marry and grow old with on a farm after retiring from the Navy with a bunch of kids and animals was several feet from her.

Overall, Jake had not changed much since their breakup. He was tanner for starters, definitely more toned. But he still had that aura of confidence sometimes confused with being cocky and golden blonde hair making him appear like a life-sized Ken doll. Throughout their relationship she noticed the stares they got from men and women alike. Woman looked at him with want and at her with envy. Men did the same but opposite.

It always surprised people when they got together. Complete opposites, they were known to have a rivalry during their time at Top Gun when they were on the path to becoming the Navy’s best fighter pilots. Jake loved to get under her skin, she loved to deflate his ego. Somewhere the dislike and tension turned into complete desire. And before they knew it they were sneaking into each other’s dorms and getting naughty in the locker room showers.

Her body reacted when he was looking at her. He’d spot her in a crowded room and instantly the woman felt heat along her veins. And she felt that fire right then when a sudden rush of jitters sweeped her figure.

Natasha sensed it too, noticing how the woman became tense. Peeking a glance to the side, a glare took over her once soft expression, “We can go somewhere else if you want.”

“No,” she objected with a slight wave, “I’m fine. A little surprised--although I should’ve expected he’d be a candidate as well given the context of this mission. It’s just we haven’t talked since….”

“I understand,” Nat assured, placing a hand on her back and leading her to the bar. “Let’s get you a drink first, then we’ll deal with him.”

“I call my mom, she said that it was for the best. Remind myself, the more I gave you, you’d want me less. I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost. And what it cost, now that we don’t talk.”

Her mothers words replayed over and over again with each step as the two approached the group. Jake was leaning over the pool, calculating his next shot when she moved straight past him causing him to lose focus and miss the ball he was aiming for completely.

“Blue!” Javy shouted, picking her up in a big hug and spinning them around. Not caring if superiors saw or the fact his best friend, who happens to be her ex, was right there. “I’ve missed you, Girl. What’s going on?”

“Nothing much, Javy,” she couldn’t help but giggle. Of all the friends Jake had, Javy was the one who still reached out to her from time to time. Plus he ripped Jake a new one when he found out why they broke up. To this day he still gives him hell for it. “Let it be Top Gun, to bring us all under one roof.”

“Don’t you know it,” he clicked his beer with hers. The two taking a swig at the same time. “Have you met these clowns?” he motioned to the three to his left, “This is Payback, Fanboy, and Bob.”

“Nice to meet you guys,” they shook hands, greeting her with the same enthusiasm. When Bradley arrived she was once again scooped up into a hug, although this time she caught sight of Jake’s hardened expression. That shouldn’t have surprised her. Bradley Bradshaw was the one man Jake always butt heads with.

But the blonde quickly shook it off when he realized he got caught. He had no right to be jealous. It’d been three years since they broke up. And it was his fault nonetheless.

“Well I’ll be damn,” Bradley set her down gently, still embracing her. “If it isn’t Miss. Blues Clues.” A playful slap hit his chest when they parted.

“You know I hate that name, Bradshaw.”

The two caught up briefly, sitting on stools at the opposite end of the pool table. At one point Bradley made her laugh that the beer she’d been sipping on spilled off her mouth, causing him to giggle and hand her some napkins. While dabbing the liquid away, she locked eyes with Jake. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like a lifetime. Pinning her to her seat with an unreadable gaze.

She nearly broke, feeling a speck of desire to talk to him, but then remembered her mothers words, “the more you gave him, the less he wanted you. While you may forgive him for all the hurt he brought you, you cannot subject yourself to that again. You deserve better.”

“What do you tell your friends, we, shared dinners, long weekends with? Truth is, I can’t pretend it’s platonic, it’s just ended so…”

She made a silent vow to herself, recalling the painful memories, the phone conversation with her mother along with bits and pieces friends have told her over the years of what Jake had relied on as the reason for their breakup. She would not fall again to his charm. There was no string that could be tied up in an attempt to fix what was cut.

Around them were friends they’d spend long weekends with. Javy and Nat were the most frequent, both having witnessed their relationship blossom and die. It made her wonder what others they hung out with knew. Whenever they’d see each other in passing the conversations always felt like they were walking on eggshells around her. And because she wanted to move on, she’d never ask what Jake told them.

For the sake of their jobs she’d be civil. The past was the past and it would stay there, but she’d make sure to remember it whenever those old feelings threatened to surface. From the looks of Jake throughout the night, he felt the same. It was obvious he wanted to find a moment alone with her to talk, but she refused to let that happen.

“I call my mom, she said to get it off my chest (off my chest). Remind myself the way you faded ‘til I left (until I left). I cannot be your friend, so I pay the price of what I lost (what I lost). And what it cost, now that we don’t talk.”

When she arrived at her dorm that would be her home for the next three weeks, the first thing she did was retrieve the letter to herself she wrote all those years ago. It was crumbled, having almost thrown it away several times, but remembering the significance within the words inked on the lines, she always pulled it back.

Parts of the paper were withered. A result from the teardrops that had fallen when she took to her desk after the phone call with her mother to write down everything weighed on her chest. Pouring her heart and soul into the paper. It wasn’t much, only taking up the front of the page, but it was enough to get the message across.

Her past self coming to remind her of those fleeting last months. Where Jake slowly became the ghost of the man she’d once loved. The constant worry and anxiety from hours of radio silence. Dinners that felt like an awkward first date. Not inviting her out with his friends anymore. HIs lingering eyes on women who weren’t her. Excusing it with bullshit remarks to make her think she was being dramatic. Finally, the party that sealed the deal.

To imagine what they would be if she gave him another chance would be an insult to herself. Instead, she thought about all she gained.

“I don’t have to pretend I like acid rock. Or that I’d like to be on a mega yacht. With important men who think important thoughts. Guess maybe I am better off, now that we don’t talk.”

After the breakup, she realized how much she hid herself from the world. There were things she pretended to like in order to please him. Like watching college football every weekend, entertaining mostly his friends and leaving her to sit on the couch with a book in hand only to not be able to concentrate with the loud ruckus they’d cause.

Or having to refrain from the things that made her happy. Singing at the top of her lungs in the car while her favorite songs played for the first time in years felt liberating. Not having to be careful on what she spent her money on now that she didn’t have to save more for rent because Jake started to blow his on going to the bar during the last several months of their relationship.

The worst was having to put on a facade in front of Jake’s superiors. Though stationed at the same base they were part of different squadrons. During the banquets and balls, Jake tended to make comments on what dresses she should wear and how to act when they arrived. He was always the kiss ass type who wanted to get promoted faster than his peers. Even though she praised him constantly, Jake was never satisfied unless one of his bosses complimented him. If she were honest to herself, she hated attending the events. Despite being in the Navy herself. Unless they were mandatory she’d find an excuse to not go. Being around men with egos as tall as the empire state building who only talked in statistics and status was draining.

“And the only way back to my dignity. Was to turn into a shrouded mystery. Just like I had been when you were chasing me.”

For the last three years, the way she carried herself changed. She had to for the sake of not letting her heart rot away. Taking back the self-respect she’d lost, after thinking for so long it was her fault Jake had betrayed her. That she wasn’t enough.

She was more than enough.

He was the one who chose to cheat. He was the one who didn’t try to defend himself or fight for what they had. He let himself go. He let her go.

So, after a good month of wallowing in self-pity and despair, she lifted herself up with poise and elegance. Remembering who she was before him. The woman who carried herself with confidence, never allowing anyone to tear her down. Who fought hard to build her career to what it was, after so many doubting her abilities.

The woman he chased after. Who at the core was strong, daring, resilient.

Sure, Jake taught her a lot. About herself, about what she wanted in a relationship. About love. She’ll never forget what they had.

She lost him, but along the way she found herself. And to her, that was everything.

“Guess this is how it has to be, now that we don’t talk.”

……..

Tag list: @avaleineandafryingpan , @caitsymichelle13 , @poppyalice2001 , @cutelittlepotatofry, @luckyladycreator2 , @americaarse , @elenavampire21 , @back-tooo-black, @wildellaa , @artemissunn , @pinkpantheris , @kmc1989

[thecardiganunderthebed]

the cruel prince headcannons i have and ik I'm right okay!? part 2/it shall go on forever

Vivi would be the one to have those memory shoe boxes, like with polaroids of them and lil notes they wrote to each other when they were kids. She's secretly very sentimental, she keeps everything that helps her remember any small moment (just like me frfr)

which is why she loves right where you left me by taylor swift. AHA

Jude is evermore and Taryn is folklore.

When you yell at at either Jude or Cardan they both go stone-faced and chew the inside of their cheeks. Both of them weren't allowed to show weakness growing up so they share this trait and it has been titled the "uh-oh expression" because if they make that face uh oh! you're fucked.

When cardan finds out Jude trained herself to be immune to poisons, obviously, his first response is going bat shit insane because "why would you do that!!!" but after that has worn off its "....this means you can brew poisons right?..so theoretically.....you could teach me how to make poisons RIGHT???"

She says no.

He is devastated

When you look at cardan he looks scary as shit but that kinda wears off when the king of Elfame has a habit of draping himself across curtains to express distraught or distaste

Jude is the one who detangles him from the curtains after the said breakdown

HEATHER

WOULD

PUT

FLOWERS

IN

CARDANS

HAIR

and he would let her.

even though he hates his being touched, him and heather have become unlikely friends

Because he loves stories and telling them, and she is "a delightful audience Jude, she gasps at all the right parts and asks all the right questions!"

Cardan also feels like he finally got sisters back with Vivi and Heather

HEATHER AND VIVI DO GET BACK TOGETHER FUCK YOU

as the years pass, cardan doesn't let Jude go the mortal realm often cause then she'll age :((

Cardan and Jude often make elaborate mockeries of the members in the council (what you thought cardan was the only dramatic and sarcastic one???)

VIVI WAS A THEATRE KID SHE STILL REMEMBERS ALL THE MUSICALS SHE DID

Taryn's favorite subject would've been literature

Jude was a math kid i think

If she found cool math games.com she would go insane

"WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME ABOUT THIS MAGICAL SITE" "Jude we were kids when we left so we couldn't have-" "SHUT UP TARYN

[martellspear]

— young!rhaenicent | word count: 782

based on the song "ivy" written by taylor swift for my evermore series.

“No one will know,” Rhaenyra insisted. The light squeeze on Alicent’s hand did little to reassure her.

“It’s not a matter of doing what’s right only when we are before the judgment of the world, Rhaenyra,” she whispered but did not stop walking, “it’s what we do when we’re alone that counts.”

A decorated speech, her Septa had made sure Alicent held those words dear. She’s to be a perfect lady, the Gods watchful eyes are on her even when it’s unbeknownst to her; besides, what she does in secrecy, when no one is truly looking, it’s what counts.

Rhaenyra kept their fingers interlocked as they walked through the narrow tunnel.

“We’ll live only once, does that do not count as well?” Rhaenyra whispered but the curved walls carried her voice, it barely sounded like a whisper.

“That should make you wish for a long life, but you’ve taken it upon yourself to go against it,” Alicent spoke quietly, her eyes still not completely accustomed to the dimness of the passage. Rhaenyra stopped suddenly, causing Alicent to crash lightly against her friend.

“Do you wish to go back? Say it and we’ll return.”

Alicent drew a sharp breath. She didn’t want to disappoint Rhaenyra nor wanted to spend her night in the boredom of her silent chambers, where Alicent would still be thinking of her. Rhaenyra is everywhere, her presence strong even in the smallest of details, such as the ring, half of a pair, Alicent faithfully wears every day – and she knows so does Rhaenyra. Flowers growing uninvited all over and within an old stone; claiming what already belonged to them.

I should put an end to this, Alicent thought to herself. That’s what one does when a situation threatens to develop into a foreseen incorrigible mistake. This can never be. They were merely borrowing time, stealing moments from a future where night escapades would no longer have a place in their routine.

However, the thought of what her father would say nudged her.

The lack of immediate response caused Rhaenyra to notice that Alice wanted to go but was far too concerned about the consequences. Her fingers tightened the grip around the stolen bottle of wine.

“What would he do if he found us out?” Alicent asked, eyes slightly widened. She could hear her own heartbeat; the silence of the tunnel was starting to suffocate her. Alicent began picking the skin around her nails, only stopping when a gentle hand was placed atop hers.

“Are you afraid my father will burn the Red Keep to the ground?” Rhaenyra playfully whispered, Alicent couldn’t see much but felt Rhaenyra shaking her head.

“It’s not the King that troubles me,” she looked over her shoulder, the door that would lead her into the walls of the Red Keep couldn’t be far. “If my father-”

The house burned to the ground would be mine¸ she thought. Ofttimes to stray far from her father’s reach seemed like a flicker of light in the darkest of nights, if the flames could consume a crumbling relationship and if the winds could take the ashes away from her sight, she might worry less, she might allow the brittle relationship to crumble. But Otto would forever be her father, she cannot escape her blood, nor she would be able to find shelter from the consequences of this.

“He won’t catch wind of this,” Rhaenyra promised, finding that it was hard not to hold Alicent’s hand when she was so close. “It’s just us.”

Rhaenyra knew Alicent couldn’t see her and yet she smiled. “No one will find out. Remember, with me, you’re safe.”

Alicent knew those words quite well and narrowed her eyes. “I am not going to ride Syrax with you,” she murmured. The Hightower lady hadn’t realized that, whilst talking to her, Rhaenyra was guiding her towards the exit. A little thrum of laughter escaped Rhaenyra’s lips.

“Very well,” she obliged with a nod. “We’ll only eat cake.”

Alicent felt a smile tugging her lips, it was hard not to smile when Rhaenyra was near. The princess mirrored both action and sentiment. She could hardly recall how she used to fill her days before Alicent arrived at court but is completely certain that they can’t be that interesting, otherwise, she would recall them.

Under the crescent moon and the reddish leaves of the weirwood, they spent the rest of the night. Once more stealing moments, borrowing time. Their hands fit perfectly, both entangled in feelings they couldn’t quite comprehend and there was no need to. They knew enough of the yearning to be near, to belong, and to add just a little bit more of sand in the hourglass.

[embodyingchaos]

❥ evermore | year one, chapter one

pairing: george weasley x oc genre: friends to lovers! warnings: unedited word count: 2.4k masterlist: evermore next chapter: chapter two

IT WAS A cloudy day, cloudier than usual some would say, but the two girls walking along diagon alley paid no mind. both identical, the one with shorter, brown hair was busy dragging her twin sister by her arm towards a display window with a broom in it.

"look, esis! the new nimbus 2000!" she exclaimed, pointing out the sleek, beautifully polished broomstick for her sister. "it's just a broom, lovey." the nonchalant response from 'esis' receives an offended gasp from 'lovey'.

"just a broom, my arse!"

"lovelynn!" her cussing causes their mother to give them a word of warning paired with a threatening glare. lovelynn shrinks, a sheepish smile spreading across her face. "sorry, mum." she apologised as her younger sister, genesis, stifled a giggle.

the heath family were out and about, shopping for the girls' school supplies as they'd receive their hogwarts letter a day before. their mother, irene, was beyond ecstatic and their father, richard, was excited. not just for his daughters but also for the fact it gave him a reason to visit the wizarding world more than usual. "gosh, this is all so fascinating!" he said as he clung to his wife's arm, a giddy smile on his face. irene smiled at his reaction, even after years of being together and her telling him all there is to know about magic, he still acts like a kid in a candy store when surrounded by it.

the youngest and only son of the heath family wore a bored expression. "why do i need to come along again?" 10-year old michael asked, his arms crossed the entire time. "well, why do you need to be such a little snotty brat again- ow!" lovelynn rubbed the area of her arm where her sister pinched her, "because it'll be a good experience for you." genesis tells him, giving his shoulder a light pat.

irene ushered the girls towards her, "now, you two will go get your wands." the golden-haired woman told them, "your brother, dad and i will go get your books. then, we'll be off to go get a pet for the both of you." the hint of getting only one pet makes the older of the twins groan. "we're sharing a pet?" irene grinned, "ever the observer, aren't you, lovey?" she teased her and lovelynn rolled her eyes.

the family separated and made their ways to their respective shops. the twins walked in peaceful silence, not having much to talk about. there were only a few times lovelynn would spark up a conversation about what genesis thought her wand was going to be. "d'you think i'm gonna get a dragon heartstring core or a unicorn hair core?" is something along the lines of what she was asking.

when they reached ollivander's wand shop, lovelynn yanked her sister back by the collar of her dress.

"what?" genesis asked, giving her a questioning look.

"maybe we should take turns. to make the experience more... what's the word? ah! mystical!"

with no answer and only an incredulous expression for a reply, lovelynn took that as a yes and pushed her sister to the door. "you go first!" she told her but genesis pushed herself back. "no!" she exclaimed, "i don't want to do this without you, lovey." her long hair swished behind her as she turned frantically to look at lovelynn.

the older's facial features soften, "you're going to have to do a lot of things without me at some point, 'esis. this could be your first step!" she encouraged, "come now, sister mine. i'll be right here staring at you through this window." well, that definitely wasn't creepy. genesis took a deep breath, nodded and entered the shop.

as lovelynn waited for her sister, she leaned her back against the wall of ollivander's. she took peaks into the store every now and then but opted to stop when she saw absolutely nothing going on every time she looked. unbeknownst to her, every time she looked away, a strong gust of wind flew against genesis' hair or sparks shot around whenever she held certain wands.

with a yawn, lovelynn convinced herself to stay put and not abandon her sister unlike that one time when they were eight.

"alright, you're up." at the sound of genesis' voice, the girl jumps before recovering quickly, excited to head inside. when lovelynn went in, genesis stared at the bag she was carrying that held her wand. thinking back to what ollivander said, "witches and wizards who hold this wand rarely ever sway from their beliefs. do you do so, ms. heath?" she didn't answer his question for some reason, couldn't answer his question. only god knows why.

loud exclaims and 'yahoo's were heard from inside the shop before travelling outside as the door opened. "unicorn hair, cypress wood and ten inches, baby!" lovelynn's noisy announcement attracted some unwanted attention and strange looks from people nearby.

"quiet down, lovelynn. you're so loud, i bet even the house-elves at hogwarts could hear you." genesis complained, grabbing her sister by her arm and dragging her towards flourish & blotts. that was how the day of their shopping went, now, let's get on with the best part.

"ugh! i'm going to miss you guys!" lovelynn hugged her parents and brother as tight as she could before releasing them from her death grip. "we're going to miss you too, lovey." genesis was having a hard time. she had her arms crossed and she had averted her gaze towards the train, praying that her tears wouldn't escape her eyes and slide down her cheek.

her mother smiled, "'esis, come here." she called for her, gesturing to come towards her. genesis reluctantly went, hugging her mum close to her. "i know you're scared, but this is for the better. you'll make new friends at hogwarts, and you'll still come back home for christmas break and at the end of the school year." irene's words of comfort didn't go unheard, but the girl just didn't want to say anything. no goodbyes, no 'i'll miss you's, none of that.

she only gave a silent nod as she pulled away, wiping a tear off her cheek with her sleeve. this gave lovelynn the perfect opportunity.

"aww, don't cry, genessy-"

"don't call me that!" genesis exclaimed, shoving her sister harshly. the two began to squabble but their parents and brother paid no mind, it was a common thing after all. the older twin decided to go on ahead when her younger sister was still stalling so she could stay with her parents longer.

"mum, what if there's dogs?"

"it's hogwarts for goodness sake, not a pet shop. right, ricky?" irene nudged her husband with her elbow who frantically nodded, agreeing with his wife. after a bit more convincing, lovelynn boarded the train.

it seemed that stalling was a mistake, because now she couldn't find her twin sister. the panic started to settle in, what was she going to do? she was all alone, the one thing she's been trying to avoid. not to mention her sister could possibly get expelled before even stepping foot in hogwarts. taking her eighth deep breath for the day, she calmed herself down and walked past all the noisy compartments before finding a quiet one with two boys.

sliding the compartment door, genesis looked between the two. "um, sorry, but could i please sit in here? everywhere else is rather full." at her request, the brown-haired boy with dirty, round spectacles smiled.

"of course, come in." he said as the boy with orange hair moved his stuff so she'd have more space to settle down. "thanks. i'm genesis heath." she introduced herself, "i'm ron weasley!" the redhead said with a cheerful disposition, giving her his hand. genesis shook it with her own hand, "i'm harry..." the one with glasses seemed to trail off, looking unsure if he wanted to tell her his last name.

genesis tilted her head, "just harry?" she asked curiously, "harry potter." the girl's eyes widened, "as in the harry potter? as in the boy who lived?" she questioned, excited she was meeting someone who made history. harry looked somewhat scared at her reaction, she was entirely buzzing with questions, anyone could see it.

however, the long-haired brunette caught herself. "oh- uh, sorry. i've just heard amazing stories about you from my mum and i think you're amazing to have survived what you've gone through." she gushed, beaming at him. harry smiled back, "thanks, but i think it was just luck." he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"you're lucky, but it can't be just luck, harry. not for the boy who lived." it seems her words struck him in a way, his expression changing to one of deep thought. genesis realised this, "sorry for bringing it up. it wasn't my place." she apologised, feeling as though she might have overstepped some boundaries.

"no, no. it's fine." harry's assurance was cut short when the trolley lady strolled by. "anything from the trolley, dears?" ron gave her a tight-lipped smile before holding up a packed, smushed sandwich. "no, thanks. i'm all set." genesis and harry exchanged looks, "we'll take the lot." he said, fishing out a few gold galleons from his pocket.

and that was the start of the trio's lovely friendship — candy. well, sort of.

"what?!" the two boys exclaimed when genesis declined their offer of sweets and had told them she wasn't the biggest fan of candy. "we let a madwoman in our compartment. we should get out of here, harry." ron joked, making harry let out a small laugh.

genesis only rolled her eyes, "ha-ha, very funny." she simply said, ignoring their jokes. "bertie bott's every flavour beans?" harry read the packaging aloud, "they mean every flavour!" ron exclaimed, "there's chocolate and peppermint, and there's also spinach, liver and tripe." genesis explained, taking a bite of her sandwich that her mum had packed for her.

at the sight of harry's expression, ron spoke up. "george swore he got a bogey-flavoured one once!"

"george?" the girl asked, "my older brother. i've got about six other siblings." the redhead's answer has genesis dumbfounded. "six other siblings? wow. i've only got two other siblings and it already feels cramped. can't imagine how you feel." ron only snorts before taking a bite of his own licorice wand.

"yeah, they're a lot to deal with. especially since my brothers, fred and george, they're twins and they're absolutely troublemaking." the girl's eyes widened, "twins? what a coincidence! i'm a twin, too! my sister's the only troublemaker, however." ron's mouth falls slightly open, "that is a humongous coincidence." he says, slowly taking a bite of his pumpkin pastie.

turning to her right, genesis noticed harry looking isolated. "so, harry, who're you staying with?" well, this opened many doors as the boy started telling her all about his horrific aunt, uncle and cousin.

"they sound horrid."

"yeah, they are." harry said with a sigh, "if you want, you can always come over to bournemouth and stay with my family. they're quite welcoming." genesis offered, taking a sip from her water bottle. "too welcoming..." she quietly added, but they both caught it and chuckled.

"thanks, gen. i'll think about your offer." the boy smiled, picking up a packaging of a chocolate frog.

"these aren't real frogs, are they?"

"it's just a spell. besides, it's the cards you want! each pack's got a famous witch or wizard. i've got about 500 m'self." ron explained as harry opened the box. a chocolate frog sprung out of its confinements, jumping onto the window.

"watch it!" ron exclaimed, furrowing his eyebrows. "awh, look how cute!" genesis gushed, grinning at the magical creature.

"speak for yourself, frogs give me the ick."

"well, now you give me the ick, weasley." she joked, ron only rolled his eyes as the three watched the frog jump out the window. "oh, that's rotten luck. they've only got one good jump in them to begin with." the redhead commented, frowning.

genesis looked at harry, "what card d'you get, harry?" the girl asked him as his face contorted. "i've got dumbledore!" he told them, overjoyed.

"i got about six o' him." harry looked at ron before looking back at his card, shocked to see the old wizard was gone.

"hey, he's gone!"

"well, you can't expect him to hang around all day, can you?" genesis only shook her head at their conversation, too busy staring at the rat on ron's lap. ron notices her looking, "this is scabbers by the way. pathetic, isn't he?" harry and genesis exchange looks once more, "just a little bit." genesis smiled, "fred gave me a spell as to turn him yellow. want to see?" ron's question makes the two curious and interested, agreeing to see the spell.

the boy pulled out his wand and as he was clearing his throat, about to say the magic words, a girl with brown, bushy hair popped by their door.

"has anyone seen a toad? a boy named neville's lost one." she told them, ron only frowned.

"no."

"oh, are you doing magic?" the girl asked when she saw his wand, "let's see, then." she told him, sounding a bit cocky. with that, ron attempted it once more. "sunshine, daisies, butter mellow..." at the sound of the first sentence of the spell, genesis could already tell ron's brother, fred, was clearly messing with him.

when scabbers didn't turn yellow, obviously, the bushy-haired girl scoffed. "are you sure that's a real spell? well, it's not very good, is it?" her words make ron's eyes widen towards harry and genesis, who only observed their exchange with amused expressions.

the girl continued to boast about her own abilities in magic, even though she hasn't even stepped foot on hogwarts yet, even displaying it by fixing up harry's glasses. that's when she realised who he was and introduced herself as hermione granger.

she turned to genesis, "i'm genesis heath. nice to meet you." hermione smiled at her, shaking the hand she held out. "you three better change into your robes. i expect we'll be arriving soon." and with that, hermione granger left, not without telling ron about the dirt on the side of his nose.

"i like her." genesis stated when she left, a huge grin on her face.

"i don't." ron grumbled, rubbing his nose rather harshly. harry and genesis giggle as they watch him. genesis' panic and anxiety seemed to calm, she'd already make two friends, she'll be fine.

[rorasdreams]

closed starter @dicblo location: downtown evermore

aurora felt as if she was being watched. it was a hard feeling to distinguish because she used to feel this way all the time when she first arrived in evermore. like there were a part of dark eyes studying her movements, seeing what she was doing next, wondering when the strike. in her dreams she would be chased by blurry figures with the intent to capture her though she never found out what for. she had thought it was a trauma response for being locked up most of her life, and for the most part that was the case, but today felt different. all she was doing was trying to do her biweekly shopping and now she just wanted to find the source of her feelings.

it didn't make sense that she did find herself being stared at by a younger man she had never seen before. at least she was sure she had never seen him before. he looked like the type of guy that would be thrown in prison in her kingdom not a part of the castle staff, as shitty as that sounded. setting down the object she had been debating to buy down she decided to just go over to the guy and figure it out. running from her fears didn't do her any good.

"i'm sorry," she said politely when he was within earshot. "do we know each other? i noticed you were looking in my direction and didn't know if my eyes were just playing tricks on me."

[uncloseted]

what are your thoughts on Taylor Swift and her most recent album? not a swiftie, just interested in your take lol

So I don’t really listen to her music but I am fascinated by her as a public figure. Mostly I think this album is too much too soon. She’s been overexposed lately- people are getting kind of tired of seeing her and the Eras tour is still ongoing. This album is just adding to that fatigue the general public is feeling on her. And then it seems like the consensus on the album(s) is that there’s a ton of content but none of it is particularly good, which kind of goes against what I expected from the title of the album. Plus, I think will contribute to this view that everything she does is a cash grab. I think she would have been better served by going away for a year, working in conjunction with a poet or even taking university classes in poetry, and then reappearing with one really well-crafted album once people start to want new content from her again.

Beyond that, this album seems like it really highlights how her self-image hasn’t really changed since she was a teenager. Even though she’s one of the most powerful women in the world, she’s still trying to defend her relationship choices to her fans and bringing up drama that happened years and years ago. I think she needs to take a step back and ask herself if it’s healthy for her to keep putting her life at the center of the work she creates. I think what she was doing with Folklore and Evermore was brilliant because it allowed her to keep writing songs that reflect her emotional experience but aren’t about her life. That would have given her the freedom to expand artistically, reduce the number of narratives that are written about her, and protect the people in her life from insane fans. But it seems like she doesn’t really know how to handle not having drama around her because it’s been her reality for so long.

Again, I haven’t listened to the album(s) so I don’t really know what I’m talking about, but this is just the impression that I’ve gotten from seeing the response it’s getting online.

[flw3rrr]

A broken Promise

Characters: Dutch x OC

summary: Dutch meets a girl in Saint Denis. His attempts to swoon her over in order to get any kinds of amount of money he needs for his High mighty plan to leave for Tahiti.

OC name: Audrey evermore

Warnings: manipulation, angst, Taking advantage of use of money, Age gap, (Please let me know if anything else i missed!)

A/n: second time writing a long one. This man is like tough to write for.

Words: 4,732

It was just a normal day in Saint Denis. The workers were heading to their jobs to earn money for their homes, to keep food on the table, or to pay for their families. For the rich, perhaps. They mostly went to gamble, head to the offices, or even go on the boat and play more poker. That’s what Audrey’s Father did. he would spend but somehow win enough money to still gamble it away and keep his family together and rich. For her mother…. She spent her time gossiping with her lady friends, mostly discussing clothing or the events happening in town.

Audrey kept to herself and stayed quiet, as she didn't really have any friends. She would talk to the maids or any worker she saw or spend time alone when she wasn't forced to hang out with her mother and listen to gossip. Audrey would take walks around Saint Denis, taking in the atmosphere and admiring the flowers as she walked by. All the walks were normal. She gave a kind nod to those who greeted her with a good morning or afternoon. Nobody reading made Audrey interested in them.

That was until she met him. Dutch van der Linde... A famous outlaw across the states. He was charming and seemed smart just from his looks, especially with that grin he had. Audrey was memorized by him, but they only offered small waves and glances when given such an opportunity, but he was rarely seen in Saint Denis.

That was until she was walking her newly dog down the streets her father gifted to her, she noticed Him. but he was with two other men walking to Angelo Bronte’s house. She didn’t think much as she still continued to walk down as the new dog sniffed everything in her path. Audrey thought things on why on earth he was going to Brontes house, nobody really messed with him.

As she strolled back home, she suddenly heard a voice speak to her. It was hard to describe, but it sounded charming and strong. Audrey turned around to face the man, her eyes widening as she saw it was him. He stood right in front of her, a smile upon his face.

“I can see you have a new friend to join your walks miss.” He spoke with such confidence in his words. Almost as he seemed he was always right. Audrey was temporarily speechless, unable to process the fact that he was actually speaking to her. As she noticed he was awaiting a response from her, she eventually began to speak.

“Oh, yes… My father gave him to me as a gift. I named him Argus” Dutch loved the sound of her voice - it was soft and calming, almost as if it could soothe a crying baby immediately. He knew he wanted to get to know her better, so he made a mental note to take advantage of any future opportunities to do so.

“Well, isn't that kind gesture of your father. Rich I presume?” He only asked this, of course, to see if she would be any help for him and his gang with money. possibly scam them out of anything. “Well, you could say that I just don't usually like using the word rich. wealthy mostly.” Audrey said with a small smile.

Bingo, he thought. He knew that all he had to do was get closer to her, meet her parents, and get on good terms with them, especially her father. His goal was to ultimately swindle them out of as much money as he could. “Well, I'll let you head home miss… Perhaps I can walk you?” he said kindly.

Audrey was still staring at him in awe, almost hypnotized by his spoken words. After a moment's silence, she finally replied, "That's very kind of you," and began walking back home with him by her side. They both continued to speak as they walked back to her place. Dutch was sure to be careful of his questions, or answers. He didn’t want to scare her off quickly. The sun was slowly setting making the streetlights slowly turn on to light the roads and areas for the dark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the past few days, Audrey and Dutch had started to stop on the street and having their own little talks with each other. She noticed that it was he who was mostly finding her, rather than the other way around. The chats would begin with him bringing her gifts - a small ring or a flower - which were all part of his plan to win her over and get the money he wanted from her father. Despite his motives, Audrey would always blush over his gestures, almost feeling hypnotized by him.

Though when he attended the party with Arthur and some of the other members, he found himself in a conversation with Bronte when suddenly a man in a well-fitting suit walked onto the balcony. "Ah, Mr. Evermore," Bronte spoke. Dutch was surprised, but at the same time, he was excited to be introduced to Audrey's father for the first time. He now had the opportunity to talk to him alone or convince Bronte to help him in his scheme to get money from her father. They were already discussing the subject of money, so it could be an easy sell.

"I apologize for being late, Bronte," Mr. Evermore said as he approached the balcony. "My wife was having difficulty deciding which necklace to wear, and she didn't want to leave our daughter at home alone." He nodded to Dutch, who was already standing there. "Women," Bronte said in response. Dutch was finally introduced to Audrey's father - learning that his name was William. The three continued to speak for a while, until Dutch joined Arthur to send him on a little mission.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week had passed since the party, and Audrey hadn't heard anything from Dutch since their last spoken moment. She wondered if he had gotten tired of her already. She took a moment to brush her hair with a hairbrush she had gotten during a trip to France. After getting dressed for the day, she decided to take her dog on a walk to enjoy the nice weather outside.

As she walked around the small park near her home, she once again heard that familiar voice say, "Well, it certainly has been a while since we last spoke." She smiled to herself and turned around to face him, and Dutch could see the happiness on her face. He loved it, knowing that his tactics were working on her.

“It has," Audrey replied eagerly with a hint of happiness in her tone. "It's been a while since we've seen each other. I hope everything is alright?" Her voice started slow and monotonous, but it picked up its pace, and now she felt as if it had never sounded better.

Dutch couldn't help but let out a small chuckle at her concern for him. He admitted to himself that he had developed some feelings for her. His plan had originally been to befriend her so that she would introduce him to her father, but he had already met him at that party.

However, no matter how much he liked her, he had to keep his focus on earning enough money to move to Tahiti. “I’m fine, Though I had a quite a head injury, Ive healed fast.” he nodded. Audrey's expression filled with shock and concern as she heard the news. She took a step closer to him, wanting to touch his face gently, but she didn't, knowing that it might be inappropriate.

"Oh, well I'm glad you've gotten better," she said with concern in her voice. “But enough talking about me.. How have you been..?” he asked plainly.

They had their regular conversation, which, to an eavesdropper, would likely have been dull and uninteresting. Dutch talked about Evelyn Miller and his books, but Audrey didn't find the subject material particularly captivating. He also mentioned meeting her father at the ball, describing how well her father had a way with words when speaking his mind or giving opinions.

Audrey, in turn, talked about how her father enjoyed gambling. Despite their lengthy conversation in the park, they failed to notice that very few people were present. The ones who were still quite far away, but enough that they couldn't be seen.

As they both sat on the bench, with Audrey's dog resting near her feet, they shared a sweet, slow moment that felt like a fairytale for Audrey. She felt as if she had just met her soulmate, and for Dutch, he didn't feel anything in particular, but he did notice how she looked at him with so much admiration in her eyes.

"So, you mentioned that your father likes to gamble so much? How does he manage to keep such money to keep his family stable?" questioned Dutch, his tone laced with curiosity. He didn't mention at all how her father along with Bronte had told him about the money stashed at the trolley station, and he didn't like that one bit.

Being played like a fool and angered him, but he shouldn't blame Audrey for she wasn't aware of what had been happening in his life lately. "Yes, he still manages to find a way to keep some money to provide for us," Audrey answered, her tone suggesting that she didn't care to discuss her father at length.

Dutch couldn't help but notice that she seemed reluctant to talk about him, even though he had given her many gifts over the years. He made a mental note to tread carefully with the subject of her father in the future.

With the conversation hitting a standoff, Dutch decided he needed to make a move to get things going again. He thought for a moment and then acted, pushing a piece of hair back into place and carefully caressing her cheek with his hand, allowing it to linger there for a beat.

Audrey was shocked by his touch, but she pushed the thought aside. His hand felt rough to the touch, but she tried not to let it bother her. Dutch looked Audrey in the eyes, taking a deep breath before asking a daring question. "Have I ever told you that you are beautiful?" he inquired, his tone a mixture of flattery and determination.

It wasn't just about winning her over anymore; now he had to convince her to give him the money that he now knew her father wouldn’t give, He needed to persuade her without coming across as if he was using her. Audrey's face instantly flushed with a bright shade of crimson, her cheeks glowing with a warm blush.

Normally, when men paid her compliments, she would shrug it off and go about her day, feeling flustered and uncomfortable. However, with Dutch giving her this compliment, she felt like she had won the world. She suddenly felt important and special, her heart skipping a beat at the thought that someone valued her beauty so highly.

Audrey's eyes darted to the side, trying to avoid direct eye contact with Dutch. She felt suddenly shy and flushed, not knowing how to respond to this sweet compliment. But then Dutch took hold of her chin, gently forcing her to face him once more. Her heart skipped a beat as she was caught off guard by this sudden and tender gesture, and she felt a surge of flutters and nerves inside her chest. The excitement and anticipation she felt was overwhelming.

“Now there’s no reason to get so nervous now?” Dutch's smirk broadened as he took in the effect his words were having on Audrey. He was proud of himself for being able to manipulate her so well and put her into the position he wanted. He was so close to achieving his goal, and the thought of it was almost enough to make him burst with pride.

He just had to keep playing his cards right and the money would be his. Audrey hesitated for a moment before responding, feeling utterly flummoxed by her own reaction to his charm. She couldn't find the right words to say, so she resorted to the quickest one that came to mind: "I realized it's getting late. My parents must be wondering where I am." She rose from the bench, holding the leash for her dog, and offered Dutch a quick goodnight before leaving. As she walked home, mind occupied by the thoughts of their encounter, she found herself daydreaming about him.

Dutch's smirk stayed firmly in place as he watched Audrey leave, feeling like he was on top of the world. He had everything he wanted and felt like he was the best in the universe. His ego was on a high, and he couldn't wait to get his hands on that money. He knew he would only need to bide his time, and soon it would be his. The power he had over her was overwhelming, and he savored it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Audrey's mind raced with thoughts of yesterday's events, and she couldn't help but giggle with excitement. She kicked her feet with joy, imagining what it would be like to kiss Dutch's lips. She found herself deep in thought, unable to focus as she relived every moment of their encounter over and over. The thought of ever being with him filled her with such excitement that she couldn't contain it, especially knowing how close he had gotten to her yesterday. She was sure that this was the start of something great, and she couldn't wait to see where it would lead

Audrey was jarred from her thoughts by a knock at her door. She leaned up to see her mother walk in, her eyes filled with concern as she took in the giddy expression on Audrey's face. "Daughter," she said, sitting on the couch beside her bed, "if I may ask, why are you so…giddy?" Audrey's cheeks flushed with embarrassment, and she shifted her gaze away from her mother's piercing eyes, unsure of how to respond. She didn't want to give away her secret, but at the same time, she couldn't bear to disappoint her mother.

Audrey's gaze shifted away from her mother's intense stare, feeling embarrassed to have been caught in the middle of her giddy mood. "Oh, it's nothing, mother. I promise," she said with a smile, attempting to conceal the truth about her secret friend. She didn't want to disappoint her, so she tried her best to feign ignorance. However, her mother was far from convinced and simply looked at her with disbelief before shaking her head and leaving the room, wondering what her daughter was so giddy about.

Audrey stayed inside the house all day, left alone with only the butler who was in his office presumably working on other things. Suddenly, a loud knock on the door echoed through the house, catching Audrey by surprise. She approached the door to investigate, her curiosity piqued by the unexpected interruption. She reached for the doorknob and opened the door, unsure of what to expect on the other side. With such surprise it was him, Dutch. she blinked a couple of times before she spoke.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, confused. It's easy enough to find her house if you just ask a couple of people, but why is he here? She wondered.

“I noticed you hadn’t taken your daily walk, so I worried a little. Is it a bad time to be here?” he asked, a soft grin crossing his face.

Audrey looked at him with confusion and adoration, touched by how he had worried for her. His concern for her was reinforcing the beliefs she had developed for him over time. "No," she began, "it's not, but if my parents were home, they'd certainly be confused as to why you're here." She giggled slightly before opening the door wider to let him in.

As Dutch entered the home, his eyes took in the elaborate decorations. The house wasn't massive, but it was clearly the residence of someone with money, such as Audrey's family. Couches were placed against the walls, with paintings of ballet dancers or other random subjects hanging nearby. Some rooms even had grandfather clocks in the corner. It was clear that the family had a particular taste in interior design.

Audrey pointed out, "You came at a good time, actually. My parents are at a party, and our butler is busy in his office. He can't hear very well, so you don't need to worry about being caught being here." She was feeling nervous, given the fact that he was standing right in her home. She couldn't help but wonder what might happen and prayed for the best.

Dutch chuckled lightly and responded, "Oh, I'm not worried, sweetheart. I've handled worse…." He strolled around, taking in the room, then stopped and gazed at her. His eyes seemed to brim with admiration, or perhaps even desire or need. She couldn't quite decipher his intent.

"Can I get you anything?" Audrey inquired with a warm smile and kind tone as she approached Dutch, offering her assistance. Dutch politely declined, and they made their way to the sitting room, sitting on the soft couch next to each other in comfortable silence. The ticking of the clock reverberated in the background, adding to the peaceful atmosphere.

Dutch noticed a piece of paper on the table, addressed to Audrey. His curiosity piqued, he asked, "What's that letter for? Some secret lover?" He offered the comment with a dark chuckle, turning back to her for her response. Audrey's eyes widened, and she hurriedly dismissed his suggestion by replying that she had no lover and the letter didn't concern him.

Dutch continued his line of questioning about the letter, disguising his true intent as a lighthearted banter. He acted as if he were merely joking, but deep down, he truly desired to know the contents of the letter. Audrey, giving in to the temptation, finally spoke about the letter's significance, revealing its importance to Dutch.

"There was an ad I found where the church asked for donations to feed those who couldn't afford to do so themselves," Audrey explained, detailing her generous gesture. "I sent a letter with a check for a thousand dollars - it's the best I could do. My parents were part of the effort to donate such a sum, meaning this letter is them thanking me." She wondered why he was so interested in knowing the contents of the letter, but she pushed the curiosity aside for now, determined not to make a fuss about it.

As she spoke, Dutch's eyes lit up with delight, amazed that Audrey could be so generous. He realized that he could explain his situation to her, hoping that she would understand and be willing to help. He then moved his body closer to her, carefully drawing her into his arms and cradling her close. He made certain that she was comfortable with his embrace before proceeding, ensuring that any physical contact was consensual and mutually desired.

Audrey inhaled sharply at the sudden turn of events, her heart pounding harder than ever before. She looked at Dutch directly in the eyes, and for a moment, she was rendered speechless. Dutch's charm had once again gotten the better of her, leaving her feeling vulnerable yet intrigued at the same time. She let her hands rest on his chest, taking comfort in his embrace.

Dutch spoke softly to her, "Not only are you beautiful, but you also have a kind heart. You are truly a gem among women." He then took one of his hands and gently caressed her cheek with care, making sure not to frighten or overwhelm her. He desired to keep her calm and at ease in his embrace, which he hoped she felt comfortable and safe in.

she noticed her head and his were slowly leaning into each other slowly, then in a blink of eye both of their lips touched. the taste of whiskey and cigars came off of him but she didn't mind it. her mind was going crazy on how carefully he was kissing her. with such passion. he now had both of his hands on her face holding her into the kiss more as her hands wrapped around his neck.

Audrey withdrew abruptly from him after several moments of sharing an intimate embrace, breathing heavily as she looked back to the clock on the wall behind them. Her face took on a blushing hue as she became flustered and shy, recognizing that this was her first-ever kiss. "My parents are probably on their way home; it's best you go now before they arrive," she spoke softly, trying to gather her thoughts and recover from the encounter.

Dutch left the house after taking one last look at Audrey, his expression soft as he contemplated what had just transpired. That very evening, he disclosed his plans to the gang, detailing his encounter with Audrey. Meanwhile, Audrey remained in her room, grinning with joy, as if she held a well-kept secret from everyone else. Her parents entered the home mere moments after Dutch had departed, inquiring as to why their daughter looked as if she were harboring something.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A week had elapsed since then, and Dutch had secretly made his way into Audrey's room on two separate occasions. During those visits, they spent time simply conversing, and there was even some kissing involved. However, he was confident that he had caught Audrey's interest, as she consistently displayed affection towards him, including during their current rendezvous. She sat beside him on the bed, leaning into Dutch with a playful smile on her face, awaiting his next move. Dutch was aware that the moment was ideal, and he thus prepared to ask her the question that weighed heavily on his mind.

"May I ask you something?" Dutch inquired, eyeing the wall decor that sported a floral motif. Audrey lifted her gaze from him to follow his line of vision to the flowers on the wallpaper. She nodded, inviting him to proceed with his inquiry.

"You likely have a fair idea of my identity and the actions I must take in order to sustain the safety of my gang-family," Dutch remarked, clenching his fist while resting it near his chest. "We have been running and hiding for years, and we are simply growing weary," he lamented, then shifting his gaze away from the wallpaper to face her. Dutch was finally prepared to broach the subject on his mind, looking towards Audrey expectantly.

Audrey lifted her head upwards as he continued to speak, her interest piqued by his revelations. Although she was well aware of his identity and the deeds he was known for, she couldn't bring herself to push him away. Audrey was too infatuated with Dutch, even despite her opposition to the violent nature of his gang's activities. She remained intent on listening to the rest of what he had to say, still seeking an understanding of the nuances of his situation.

Dutch expressed a sense of desperation as he implored her, "We are making efforts to save money in the hopes of permanently relocating to Tahiti. I was curious if you might be able to lend me financial assistance in this pursuit, my darling..." He held her hands between his own, kissing them softly and gently, demonstrating a clear plea in his eyes.

Audrey gasped upon hearing Dutch's plea for financial aid in leaving the country. She was concerned at the prospect of him leaving her behind, but before she could voice her opinions, Dutch began to speak again. "And I cannot bear the thought of leaving you here by yourself," he elaborated, planting a kiss on the back of her hand in an attempt to persuade her. "We can become an item, my cherished," he declared, continuing to try and convince her of the merits of his proposal.

Audrey's eyes lit up as she listened to Dutch's assurance that he would take her with him to Tahiti. She yearned for a simple life, and the thought of being loved by a man who adored her greatly was exactly what she desired. She expressed her gratitude and acceptance of his offer, expressing her worries of what her life would have been like without him. Audrey hugged him tightly, grateful to have found a companion who cherished her and intended to share a life with her.

Dutch exuded a sinister expression as Aubrey embraced him, aware that he had achieved ultimate success. He realized that all he needed was the money she possessed, and he could leave the country with confidence, finding safety for himse- his gang and him with ease. Once he acquired the means, he could flee without any impediment, and his path to Tahiti would be paved without resistance.

"You have my utmost gratitude, my dear," Dutch declared, placing a kiss on her forehead, and then swiftly making his way out of her bedroom, making certain not to draw undue attention to himself. Audrey promptly returned to her bed, eager to ensure that the funds were at his disposal by the start of the following day. She allowed herself to drift off to sleep with anticipation, wondering if they would make new friends once they touched down in Tahiti.

~~~~~~~~~~

On the following morning, Audrey awoke early, and hastily proceeded to the bank, having made a firm decision to gather the necessary funds to support Dutch's plans of leaving the country. Walking down the city streets, she then reached the Cathedral and noticed him approaching her with a sense of satisfaction and pridefulness. His weapons seemed to glitter in the morning sunlight, and he exuded an air of confidence as he confidently moved towards her.

Audrey's hand swiftly moved upwards, and she placed bills of money in Dutch's hand, who eagerly took hold of them without even hesitating. A feeling of joy washed over Dutch's features, and he flashed a satisfied grin in her direction. "You have done splendidly, my dear," he complimented before adding, "I possess pressing duties to carry out, but I will return to you as soon as possible to finalize our escape." He then nodded to her and proceeded to disappear into the alleys, eager to get started with his preparations.

A day later…….

two days….

three going onto weeks.

As the days passed, Audrey had not heard from Dutch. Her worries began to consume her, and she soon harbored a strong sense of uncertainty, considering that he had perhaps simply abandoned her, leaving without a trace. She was heartbroken at the idea of being cheated and made a mockery of, having granted him a hefty amount of money only to have her hopes shattered. Audrey cried into her pillow, her sorrow compounded by her parents' scolding once they learned about the financial situation she was in.

In time, she was left alone to stew in her emotions of anger and disappointment, incapable of finding any means to vent or relieve her anguish. She felt like she was left in the dark, and the realization of the broken promise and broken heart became too much for her, leaving her with a myriad of feelings that she struggled to express.

he had broken his promise….

[urdreamgirls-dreamgirl]

I'm a cis het female, but I'm always trying to learn and be an ally. My lesbian niece is a Gaylor, so I'm at least passingly familiar with some of the ways people thought her music was queer coded.

But I'm interested in why you personally feel betrayed by Taylor.

(It might seem obvious from someone with your subject position, but I'm confused as an outsider. A debunked theory doesn't seem to be enough... Has she been actively homophobic? Tried googling and it was a shitshow.)

gonna preface this by saying sorry to my mutuals and followers who hate t*ylor sw*ft--i already lost like ten followers for posting about this lol

for anyone curious, this is the nyt article i'm referencing and this is the response planted in cnn.

if you're at all familiar with the online fandom, then you know that there's a stark divide between fans that consider themselves "hetlors" and fans that consider themselves "gaylors." the gaylor camp is focused on queer readings of her music, uncovering what they consider to be queer flagging, and making references and connections between taylor and other gay artists. the hetlor camp is focused on spreading violent homophobia in gaylor's comments. i personally consider myself a part of the gaylor community because of my interest in doing queer readings of mainstream media, even though i personally don't believe that t*ylor sw*ft herself is gay and i don't really care one way or another--her personal identity doesn't affect the way i choose to interpret and read her music.

HOWEVER, it's important to point out that t*ylor has made many, many, many overt references to queer artists and queer culture--whether she's gay or not, it's dishonest and a rejection of her work to deny that she's made these references. here are some examples:

the song "ivy." many fans have speculated about the references of the album evermore to the themes of dickinson's poetry, specifically the song "ivy." this has been a long-time fan theory, doubly fueled by the fact that evermore dropped on dickinson's birthday. t*ylor seems to have confirmed this theory by allowing the use of the song in the show dickinson, when emily and sue reunite after a big fight and the publication of one of emily's poems (i don't watch the show, so sorry abt some narrative details here lol).

2. dedicating a performance to loie fuller. during the rep tour, taylor dedicated her performance of the song "dress"--largely consider one of her queerest songs--to fuller, a gay choreographer and dancer.

3. on the eras tour, she plays dusty springfield's "you don't own me" directly before she comes on stage. springfield was pretty openly bisexual for the 1960s and made quite a few statements about being with women. in 1990, she released her thirteenth studio album titled reputation, with black and white cover art. there are also some 1989 tv/dusty springfield color references in the cds.

4. she references the lakes poets. she published the song "the lakes" as a bonus track on folklore, which is a clear reference to the lakes poets, especially wordsworth, who was gay.

5. she made herself the gay sheriff of gay town.

6. she posted a picture to her own insta with a friendship bracelet that very clearly said "PROUD" with the colors of the bi flag. she wears the bi flag in her hair in the YNTCD music video where, again, she makes herself the gay sheriff of gay town.

7. she explicitly states "gay pride makes me, me" in the making of the ME! music video (i want to say this is in the Miss Americana documentary, but i honestly don't remember)

8. she has used the phrase "hairpin drop" in two separate songs. the phrasing first appears in "rwylm," a bonus track on evermore, where she sings "i swear you could hear a hairpin drop"--"dropping hairpins" is a historical phrase in the queer community that means dropping hints that you're a part of the community. now this one i've always been iffy on, but i think the intention is undeniable when we get to the midnights 3am track "the great war" where she returns to this phrasing. the lyrics in "the great war" is "finger on my hairpin trigger"--there's no way this is a mistake with the way that the fandom went so crazy over the phrasing in "rwylm." she herself has repeatedly referenced the online community and she's very aware of the conversations her fans are having--there's no way she didn't know we were talking about this. using the phrasing a second time by changing the traditional phrase ("hair trigger" and "you could hear a pin drop" are the traditional phrases) is undeniably intentional.

ok so. these are JUST the references that have been overt, explicit, and very clearly intentionally reference queer culture, queer history, and established queer flagging.

what's really important here is that the nyt article outlines these references, which are confirmed, among others made in taylor swift's public performances and published artwork, including lyrics and album ephemera. no where in the article does the author speculate on individual muses of any song or posit an opinion about her personal relationships. the article is focused on the gay fans and the ways we have built a community with each other through lyrical analysis and interpretation.

the important thing to note about t*ylor sw*ft is that she very rarely makes explicit public statements about anything published about her or any rumors about her in the press. that's why there was so much uproar about tree paine (her publicist) directly addressing the rumors that deuxmoi is perpetuating about a marriage to joe alwyn--because it's not normal. instead, she tends to speak more covertly through showing up places with people (for example, she went to dinner with sophie turner after the news of their divorce broke), making references through her style (wearing the color of a current era or the next era coming up), releasing new music (she addressed the matty healy scandal by releasing a song with ice spice and having her join the tour for one night!).

so with that being said, unless and until taylor or tree comments openly about either of these articles, we have to understand the cnn response as her opinion and coming from her camp. (i currently think this came from her father, as he's been very heavy handed in her pr lately.)

if you actually read the nyt article, there's literally nothing wrong with it. so to frame this opinion piece as "dismaying," "invasive," and "inappropriate" is capitalizing on established homophobic tropes about the queer community. why is it "dismaying" to be mistaken for a gay person? why is it invasive to read someone's work and say "hmm, there's a blatant queer reference here, i wonder if she's trying to tell us something." "i wonder if this person is gay" is a morally neutral statement. this response in cnn has given her straight fans license to go after her gay fans even harder than they did before. some of my mutuals and friends have been getting death threats, one has been doxxed previously and i'm worried it will happen again, and our comments are being inundated with slurs.

the reason i feel personally betrayed by taylor is because she has repeatedly capitalized off of my community as outlined above (and again, these are only the references that have been confirmed--there are plenty more ("dear reader," "paris," "hits different," "cowboy like me," "dress," "seven," "this is me trying," "high infidelity," "maroon," i could literally go on and on) and then allows the media and her fans to drag us through the mud and frame our community as aggressive, invasive, and repeatedly sexualize us by insisting that our sexuality and community is solely about who we fuck. if i get called gross, disgusting, or invasive one more time for stating that "bet i could still melt your world, argumentative antithetical dream girl" is gay, i will literally fucking lose it.

you cannot repeatedly and routinely reference openly gay artists in your work and then become "dismayed" when your gay fans recognize those references and begin to make connections. if you're a real ally, you would see nothing wrong with being perceived as gay. because there's nothing wrong with being gay! she has built her career off of autobiographical, confessional style writing and the interactions of fans speculating on who songs might be about. i'm old enough to remember the liner notes that revealed who each song was about! you can't foster that type of relationship with your fans and then turn around and get upset with them for caring about this stuff and recognizing patterns.

so i'm just kind of over it. and i'm over her being a billionaire climate criminal who emits 1900x the global average of carbon in tons and getting away with it. i'm over her remaining silent on palestine and allowing her film to be shown in israel. she cannot simultaneously be a mastermind genius business woman and also a billionaire bound by contracts and lyrical phrasing that she has no control over. the fandom sucks and she sucks for not defending us despite using her "allyship" for monetary gain, regardless of her personal identity. the gay community has taken enough hits from her and her fans, i'm done and i'm out.

ETA: i know this reads as angry in some places and that's because i am angry, but totally not at you, anon. i know you were asking this question in good faith, i'm just still in my feelings about this and dodging so much hate on tiktok.

[bisluthq]

Hi nat, I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I’ve just been struggling sm lately bc I feel so disconnected to Taylor iykwim? Like she just seems unrecognizable and excuse the parasocialness but like idk I think I just need to separate from the fandom because I just feel she’s so different in the past year and it makes me so sad. Everything just seems somewhat staged and inauthentic. I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point. But that beautiful, genuine, and talented person that i thought she was is not there anymore. I really saw myself in her at some point and really believed she was a gift to this world with the happiness she brought to people and how she was unapologetically herself, from the intimate fan interactions and public vulnerability and need for privacy she showed compared to other celebrities. Especially the fact that she’s been trying so fiercely to rewrite the history of the past 7 years of her life and is doing a complete 180 on the life she said she wanted is so disheartening to watch as a long time fan. I really thought that rep - evermore Taylor was really her most authentic self but idek anymore. The person she is now is like an entirely different persona and it makes me really sad. I hope she can find herself again for her own sake but i think this is just who she is and who am I to judge that lmao? At the end of the day no person with that amount of money or fame would be relatable. Look I always have to remind myself I don’t know her obviously but I thought I had gotten a pretty good sense from following her the last 12 years. Idk honestly I’m just kinda ranting here but was wondering if anyone else felt like this lately. A lot of my irls and friends have been saying they feel the same disconnect.

Xx anon ❤️

no shade queen and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad but herein lies the problem: “I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point.” That’s not a fair thing to put on Taylor. She’s literally just some lady lmfao and she’s an extremely talented musician, and she’s hot, and she’s very funny, and she’s a good writer even when it comes to prose, and she’s hardworking as fuck, and she’s apparently quite kind, and she also apparently makes nice food, and she has cute handwriting. That’s all we really know about her tbh. She can’t be our fave person or our lifesaver because like we don’t know her?? It’s not fair to put that on her.

on a very minor scale when I did professional activism/politics and on an even more minor scale on this blog when it was very big like sometimes I felt like I had this responsibility to people to like idk be something for them. And I can’t lol because I’m just a girl who likes to make jokes and write and teach history and drink and recently to go rowing lol. It’s not fair to expect me to be anything other than an interesting essay (in the activism days) or a funny joke (in the blogging days). I can’t be responsible for other shit. Taylor has that on the HUGEST scale and I can imagine how stressful that is and it’s not yk fair. I personally think she’ll get bored of being this public in a bit but she’s having fun rn. She’s got a cute boyfriend and her career is doing stellar and she’s got the I cut down on alcohol glow and shit like let the lady live for a bit. She doesn’t owe us shit. And I’m not convinced she’s a different person, I think she’s just not caring if people see she’s yk who she is - not an angel, not a hermit artiste, just a girl who’s trying to vibe.

I also think for me personally I’ve enjoyed a lot of her recent music so that adds to it. I love Midnights and I love the 1989 Vault and idk I am happy to let her vibe like she doesn’t owe us shit. Far be it from me to tell you to buy her $20 teacups or whatever to sponsor her trips to KC - I don’t lol - but I think it’s deeply unfair to expect her to be your lifeline or whatever like that’s genuinely not on her.

All this said, if you’re not vibing with music or the brand rn that’s okay. Harry Potter was HUGELY important to me in my preteens and into my teens and then as it happened, it turned out that JKR was a really bad person and I reread the books genuinely for science and they weren’t that great like there was a lot there I found actively not okay so aside from how I wouldn’t publicly be a millennial Potterhead anyway probably because I’m not yk that bloody weird I actively disengaged and I asked family and friends to stop buying me Robert Galbraith books and I just like… disengaged. Never watched the cursed child, haven’t watched any of the fantastic beast movies after the first one, never bought any merch again even when it’s a bit cute, just totally cut myself off. That’s MY choice. It’s not JK’s. JK is out there vibing like as she should but I don’t have to support her and she doesn’t owe me shit lol so like yes our moral compasses unfortunately do not align and that’s just the reality so I can be all dramatic or I can just stop buying her shit lol and I’ve chosen to do the latter and I don’t have any bad feelings towards her. We just don’t agree on morals. If you don’t agree with Taylor on morals or even lifestyle that’s also fine but again that’s a you problem not a Taylor problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

hope this made sense and helped although it was rambley.

[excessivelemon]

as taylor has said many times, she wants us to come up with our own interpretations of her songs and attach our own stories to them.

maybe thats the reason why i thought of the peace lyric as not being the gossip but rather fuelling it.

maybe she's referencing all the other meaningless past feuds she's had (like katy perrie) or how immaturely she acted in previous relationships (like joe jonas) and is comparing them to his past, how despite this being his first public relationship especially with someone on whom we are focused 24/7, he acted maturely and carried himself with this grace and confidence.

"i talk shit with my friends, its like im wasting your honour" it could be that she thinks how publicly she picks sides during other peoples drama (selena-justin) is childish and petty compared to how he's dealt with his public life.

i'm not saying i know what went through her head while writing this but insecurity is a common human trait and its hard to be with a person all the time and not feel jealous of or try to adopt certain traits of them. just because swifties consider their relationship the pinnacle of maturity doesnt mean it is and like any other relationship, they too have certain "unsaid" discussion remaining between them.

sorry if this was worded wrong and made no sense lol

i agree with a lot of what you said

i think the one thread that comes across for me in a lot of taylor's with-joe-era music is that she looks up to him a lot. like, she sees him as such a gentleman, almost like a white knight, especially compared to her previous partners (lyrics to ...ready for it? make this pretty clear)

and while all of her music is open to interpretation, and i'm not saying all of it is explicitly about her, either (she's admitted death by a thousand cuts was inspired by a friend's break up, for example), i think that her evermore era really felt like she was... it's not that she was seeing through the illusion (of joe as gentleman) but that she was starting to see that her perception of him meant she put herself in a box to suit him

i'm thinking about the lyrics to happiness especially (you could put champagne problems in this category too, but i was never convinced that was about taylor and joe)

in happiness, she describes a break up that could be anyone's, and that's true. but she sings

"after giving you the best i had, tell me what to give after that"

i think she gave everything to be what she thought would suit a reserved, proud gentleman like joe (or who she saw joe to be) and she could never make herself fit perfectly in with him

(even the lyrics to 'glitch', she says "fastening myself to you with a stitch" and that always struck me as self-effacing. might be overthinking, but it makes her sound like an appendage. like he's a person and she's a leech that gets to hang on for the ride. it's not a 'two jigsaw pieces fitting together' lyric, it's a lyric of desperately affixing herself to him so she won't lose him)

I think she was haunted by insecurity for a lot of the relationship because of who she built him up to be

and this isn't hate for joe alwyn, but genuinely....

when i think about the lyrics to The Great War, what I heard in that song was a woman who held herself entirely responsible for a massive rift in her relationship, and he played no part in it, he carried no blame, just "looked up at me with honor and truth"

her lyrics make it seem like she spent so much of that relationship being insecure and feeling like she couldn't measure up to his nobility (for 6 albums!!!!!!) and he just.... let her feel like that? the whole time??????

i feel like a man worth the label 'honorable' wouldn't have let his gf feel like he was better than her for so long. i feel like he would have tried to build her up after everyone tore her down. after she tore herself down. that's imo

[witchcraftandburialdirt]

Long past when their lunch breaks should have ended -- not that either particularly care, and Evelynn still finds herself seated quite comfortable on the couch in Robin's office. It has been a busy week after all, so why not spoil themselves to a little longer break?

Such time passed, she's unsure of when she allowed her lashers free (after many, many pleas from Robin, as well). Fairly distracted by her phone, and really it's just texting Akali, does she hear the weary hum that rumbles from beside her.

The slightest hue of red soon hues her cheeks upon the sight, ever so soon acknowledging the feeling as well. Though he's not entirely tense, there is some restraint to how one of her lashers begins gently coiling around his forearm. A warmth to her own touch.

Her lips part, ready to speak before she relents with a mere shrug of her shoulders. After all, he did ask for her to 'be more comfortable' -- and it's not like she's going to harm him.

She'd never do that.

"... That happens sometimes," is what she grants, not entirely an apology. Nor does she retreat her lasher either, content with the physical contact between them.

═══ UNPROMPTED INTERACTIONS ═══ MODERN VERSE

It was a bizarre feeling. He had seem them many a time before under the guise of costumery, covered in leather and golds and every other pompously rich material the studio could afford in order to make them "pretty" for the public eye. So when the raw lasher slithered upwards along the frame of the chair he was situated in, his body naturally tensed, he assumed it was something along the lines of an instinctual response; from long ago telling him to avoid it because it was snakelike. He imagined that they often were used by Miss Evelynn to snuff the life out of her victims, of anyone that hurt her, or Miss Akali... and him too. Right...she would keep him safe, always. Robin had heard those words from her lips so many times, and she had never once betrayed them, what would give her sudden reason to?

The assistant allowed the lasher to stay put, affectionately curling along his forearm and up to his elbow, snuggly embracing him as though it were idly hugging him. His lashes fluttered shut as his mind tossed around the sensations, strangely he had always imagined them to be cold...but now stripped of all of the gaudy accessories, they pulsed with a comfortable heat. A strange air of content hazed over his thoughts as he sat there and felt the beat of the lasher - did demons have heart beats? Seemed a silly thing to ask as Miss Evelynn sat there with swaths of smoke practically dripping off of her, subtle glows of purple dancing amongst the blackened plumes.

That happens sometimes.

A memory cropped up slowly, painting his mind a myriad of colors and sounds, the same feeling of those lashers curling around him and Miss Evelynn's voice in his ear. The world felt cold around him as splits of agony riddled through his spine and legs, the taste of iron in his mouth while tears cut through the caked mud on his face to create channels of grief and regret. Clawed fingers he had held so many times caressed into his white hair, cradling his skull as though he were glass, and his damaged eyes just barely being able to make out those golden eyes. Lungs clung to life as he breathed in blood and smog, the sky stained a sickly green from the pollution around him. Where was he? The name trickling from plush lips above him echoed and distorted in his mind as those lashers held him close and cozy, the warmth was too welcoming. He wanted to rest...to make this pain go away...

The world blurred evermore around him as he stared into her gaze, quiet, desperate pleads for life, begging him not go yet - it was too soon. She'd said such words before, he had heard them, but never with the intent to heal... never with the intention of revival. Robin caught a glimpse of long canines shimmering above him, the shattering of air through screams of anguish causing his ears to feel as though they were bleeding. That sound...It was not a human sound, it was something so far removed from any of her disguises, any of his own. It was the noise of an animal, of life itself, venting its terror, hatred, and shock into the vapors of the uncaring thick air. Robin felt the last trickling of his life begin to spill out as those horrid sounds continued, sounds that served no purpose but to express pain in all its flavors. So she had learned what it meant to be touched by time. To kill and maim and butcher were innocent acts. Just food, the actions similar to how one must tear fruit open to gnaw at the sweet flesh inside. That's all... but...finally another living thing had learned the foolishness of loving something that could be kissed by Death.

Clean, cool air filtered into his body once more as reality returned to him, his gaze shifting to Evelynn who had raised a brow at him for the silence; both demanding and concerned. Robin's eyelids fell halfway as he turned his palm upwards in order to caress the lasher back; and he smiled as his cheeks turned pink. "Well I..." his eyes flicked downward to try and keep the casual air around them, focusing instead on the written words infront of him.

"I would not mind if it happened more than sometimes."

[preraphaeliteknight]

I thought for a long time today about how I would rank the softest songs Taylor wrote for Joe after seeing your top 3. This is what I came up with:

1. peace - The ultimate. No notes…perfection. Give you a child line kills me dead.

2. Sweet Nothing - the response to peace. He loves her mind!

3. the lakes - I would put a lot of money on them living in the UK countryside in a mansion sized cottage someday. She wants it so bad.

4. Daylight - The juxtaposition to Red that takes my breathe away

5. New Year’s Day - This one has made me cry recently.

6. CIWYW - Made better by the video from Miss Americana. His initial around her neck! 🥹 Loves her like she’s brand new. Running away with her. Walking with his head down towards her (also comes up in Karma with the guy on the screen coming home to her - it’s so soft).

7. Lover - Not as soft as others. Super romantic. Gorgeous lyrics.

8. Invisible String - The lyrics don’t really make sense at times (what does a blue shirt from a yogurt shop have to do with fate?) but love that she believes they are meant to be together.

9. Labyrinth - He stopped her from crashing. I mean…🥺 This should probably be higher for me.

10. evermore - They wrote it together, he played piano on it, she thought she would always be in pain and he turned it around.

11. INTHAF - Love the friendship aspect of the relationship

12. SOTB - Beautiful in how she believes their relationship is so rare.

13. Cowboy Like Me - Forever is the sweetest con

And you are right, then there are other songs about him that aren’t soft but are amazing.

1. Delicate - The way she wrote this one just describes those first days of a relationship perfectly. She liked him so much. And then you have Joe who is essentially booty calling her. The balls of steel that Joseph had! You can tell this song means a lot to her when she performs it live.

2. Cornelia Street - Love how she describes the early days of their relationship and how much that house must have meant to her as they hid the relationship from the world. Power of nostalgia.

3. Cruel Summer - This has it all including looking up grinning like a devil. 🥵😈 I would probably be crying in the back of a car over Joe Alwyn too.

4. So It Goes… - No explanation needed. This song is smokin’ hot.

5. Dress - see #4. The bridge is soooooo good.

6. Paris - Great metaphor for their relationship. A bop of a song. Love the subtle change from her drawing a map on his bedroom ceiling to they were mapping it out together.

7. Mastermind - He’s smarter than you thought, Taylor! Good on her for not leaving it up to fate. He may be dating like Florence Pugh these days if she didn’t mastermind that shit.

8. King of My Heart - “Your love is a secret I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep.” - she just liked him so much!

9. Long Story Short - “And my waves meet your shore, ever and evermore…”beautiful.

10. Paper Rings - A bop. Love the visual of her jumping in after him into freezing cold water.

11. Lavender Haze - Good on them for ignoring the BS, but I have a tough time with this song after Lover. Like you told us you’ll marry him with Paper Rings and three years later it’s like how dare you all!!

This is a very good list, anon! 🫶🏻

A few thoughts:

The lyric about his uniform shirt in Invisible String is to tie their fates together and show how the string was there all along. She’s sitting on green grass and he’s in a teal shirt. Now, you can roll your eyes at this (she almost did herself in LPSS) but she’s a romantic! She believes they are meant to be and always have been!

The more I think about Labyrinth and “you would break your back to make me break a smile” the more it keeps climbing my Midnights ranking.

You’re proving your excellent taste by having So It Goes so high 🤌

I don’t think she’s saying “ugh marriage” in Lavender Haze though. She’s saying she’s frustrated with the people who wish to delegitimize their relationship based on whether or not their married. She’s criticizing the people who think they have a right to weigh in. So I don’t think the song contradicts anything she’s said on Lover/Paper rings actually.

[alittlebitgoofy]

comfort - dakota/starlet

Finally got round to writing a uk4 fic, I needed to write dakota I love her so much and I wanted to project the horrors of uni 

Also ortegas uk2 uni au is a big influence on me

ao3 link 

Dakota didn’t need to say much, gesturing to her laptop with a half-written essay and limply gesturing to herself.

“You’re stressed and feel self-critical?” Starlet tried to pry some understanding out of a silent Dakota, watching as they sat down on the bed and immediately pulled their legs in to hide their face. She nodded, flopping onto her side as Starlet came to sit down next to her. The hand that was supportively placed on her back was enough to break the dam. Tears started pouring out faster than her brain could process, broken sobs working their way out of her shaking body, rattling with the intensity of letting it all out. “Darling, come here,” Starlet spoke up again, pulling Dakota into her arms and letting them release all the pent-up emotions.

Dakota couldn’t hold back the flood of emotion that overcame her despite her attempts. Every cry came with a shuddering breath that made her shake evermore. Everything around her was starting to fade as the anxiety began to bubble up, the only feelings she was aware of being the sickness pooling in her stomach and the muffled sound of Starlet’s attempts to comfort her.

“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re okay.” Her words were like a dull blade, barely cutting through the layers of panic, though Dakota appreciated the attempt. Perhaps she would laugh at the fact she could barely hear her at another time. Being soft-spoken was a death sentence against someone whose thoughts raced louder than any words could.

Starlet refocused her efforts, realising the blonde couldn’t hear her. Her hands did the talking, one running through their golden locks as the other wrapped supportively around their waist.

It seemed to be working, as Dakota’s shuddering breaths started to even out, slowly but surely beginning to come down from her panic. She focused as much as she could on the feeling of Starlet stroking her hair, leaning her head into her hand as the tightness in her chest began to relax, the sadness dissipating into a wave of calmness that washed over her.

Her relaxation was short-lived though, as she moved to look at Starlet the floodgates opened again, unable to stop herself from crying. Something about the concern on her face just broke the last line of defense Dakota had managed to build up.

“One of those days?” She asked, Dakota only nodding in response, unable to trust her mouth being able to form noises that weren’t just sobs.

Her tears kept coming, though she had enough control now to curl up against Starlet, letting the smaller girl wrap her arms around her and burying herself in her arms.

Dakota knew better than to try and explain everything, whenever the words tried to come out all that would happen would be more tears and any attempts at words fell to unintelligible noises.

How was she supposed to explain it all? Dysphoria was a strange beast, rearing its head at the most inopportune times and leaving her unable to function any time she could see her own reflection at its worst.

The stress of deadlines wasn’t helping, pouring hours over research about topics any sane person would find boring began to warp her mind. Dakota couldn’t help but wonder who would ever like someone like them, someone so broken and unable to see anything good in themself. Let alone someone whose only real skill seemed to be facts about rock formations.

The geography degree wasn’t doing her any favours.

Suddenly an idea struck Starlet, moving one of her arms from around Dakota to get something up on her phone. They whined at the lack of contact, burrowing deeper against her. The sound of a familiar song made Dakota pause, erupting in muffled laughter when she realised what it was.

“Your response to me having a breakdown was to play animal crossing music?” Whether it was laughter or sobs was unknown to Starlet but to hear Dakota at the very least able to speak was enough for her.

“It worked didn’t it?” Her voice cut through Dakota’s chaotic brain to deliver some sense of calm. It wasn’t an instant cure but she was helping.

“I guess so.” They let out another soft laugh, smiling hopefully at Starlet as if she was the only person who’d ever mattered to her.

That look was the one that always melted her, the big warm blue eyes that crinkled slightly when Dakota geniunely smiled, the wide grin she always did and the way her head tilted back slightly despite the fact she was taller. It was impossible to look at that face and not be immediately enamoured.

“You really are beautiful, you know that?” Starlet spoke almost in a whisper, as if voicing her thoughts any louder would send this gentle atmosphere crashing down.

Dakota’s face flushed, she could feel her cheeks heating up at the way the comment came out of nowhere but she’d be lying if she said it didn’t make her feel better.

In response Starlet just shot her an amused look, waiting for the comfortable silence to wane before her face shifted, a sly grin on her lips.

Dakota didn't take notice until she felt a sudden poke in her side, letting out a high pitched squeal in reaction and staring wide eyed at the blonde who couldn’t hold back her laughter .

“Starlet!”

“Dakota.” At the smug tone of voice, Dakota retaliated, throwing herself at the smaller girl and tickling her sides. Starlet squirmed, erupting into giggles that just made Dakota laugh even more.

She moved one hand to grasp Starlet's wrists as she prepared to strike back, moving her focus to her stomach as starlet hunched over with a cacophony of laughter that made Dakota smile ever harder.

Alas, Starlet pretty easily managed to wriggle her way out of the taller girl’s grasp as she let up, wasting no time in bolting upright and tackling Dakota down onto the bed, holding her down with one hand as the other continued to go for her side.

The high pitched giggles turned into screeching laughter from Dakota, knowing well that her flatmates could certainly hear and would grill her for it later. Though her mind couldn’t focus on that too heavily as Starlet continued her assault.

What felt like hours, though was more likely minutes, Starlet stayed atop her and tickling her sides as Dakota flailed but never got close to throwing her off.

Eventually she subsided, huffing as she flopped down beside Dakota.

“Thank you,” Dakota turned to face Starlet, both of their faces red from the laughter. That was the only reason, totally not the close proximity they were at. Had nothing to do with it.

“No worries, I couldn’t have you being sad now could I?”

“You’re so stupid.” The warmth in her tone contradicted her words as Dakota pulled Starlet into her arms, leaning her head atop of hers and letting out a content hum.

“Mmmm, can’t wait to hear what Danny has to say about how loudly you were giggling.”

“Oh god, I’m not going to live this down for a while.” Dakota shuddered as she realised her most boisterous flatmate was definitely home right now and had absolutely heard everything.

“And I’m going to love watching them grill you for hours on end.” Starlet smirked, snickering as Dakota lightly swatted at her.

“You’re so mean!”

“No you’re just too nice”

“Am not!” The sheer childishness in Dakota’s tone made Starlet laugh once again, shaking her head to attempt to form a response.

“You cried when you thought you stepped on a snail,”

“I didn’t want to hurt him!” Dakota cringed at the memory. It was dark, how was she supposed to know? It was wet and she heard a crunch. It made logical sense that it could be a poor defneseless snail that she killed.

“It was a leaf.” Starlet stated simply, curling further into the blonde’s side.

“Oh my god shut up!” Dakota couldn’t help but laugh more, at least she had one person who could cheer her up on her darkest days.

[spookymonthcultau]

– I'm here to tell you the most wonderful news, miss. My visit was absolutely in vain.

With that, John sighed meekly as he turned around. The low figure of a man was slowly moving away from the house.Lila herself was slightly perplexed. Was he at her place literally yesterday, or should I say, early this morning?Anyway, the appearance of the sheriff with such a phrase puzzled.No, of course, what she said to him sounded more like threats than worthwhile testimony, but it was for his own good! Lila knew about it like no one else.But on the other hand, she would have been happy in life that they said something without context and left, but apparently paranoia was taking its toll, and therefore it was important for the woman to find out what it meant.

– Wait! - she called out to John, quickly closing the distance between them and touching the policeman's shoulder again, but this time she quickly pulls it away, smiling awkwardly, as soon as the curly-haired policeman paid attention to her.

–What is it, miss? – a tired, smoky voice is heard in response.

– It's a little awkward to ask again, but what did you mean by a "vain visit"? - The awkward smile was still spreading across Lila's face.

– Even if you really were a part of the cult, this information is of no value to me at the moment. It's quite a long story, I don't see the point in telling it to you. Have a nice day again, miss.– What are you, what are you! It won't bother me to listen to your story, I'm absolutely free!

The woman objected before John turned around again. The sheriff furrowed his thick eyebrows, but still exhaled approvingly. He definitely has nothing to lose, and the fact that he, roughly speaking, complains about the injustice of life, may make him feel better.

– You've got it, miss, let's just sit down for a start, otherwise I've already managed to get pretty tired this day.

Under the noise of rare cars and the chatter of passers-by, they reached an empty bench, on which they settled down.Squeezing a smoldering cigarette between his teeth, the sheriff, like a decrepit old man, began the narration:

– If I don't go into too much detail, then at least to understand the situation, I will indicate that I have known the mayor of our city for a long time and he has always been a very slippery type, and therefore his arrival at such a high position was either an indicator of excessive credulity of the people, or magic. But okay, the only important thing is that gasoline was poured into our relationship with him, which was already like a burning house. The conditions began to look like a stool with needles in the seat, but leaving a heated position, and even in my life situation, which is a completely different story, is not the best option. So I endured... endured...AND THEN THIS CREATURE DARED TO BLAME ME FOR THE DEATH OF MY PARTNER AND FIRED ME, THREATENING THAT I WOULD BE SENT TO JAIL!!!

Lila was frightened by this sudden outburst of emotions that she even reflexively reached out to John's hand, gently stroking it.It was unexpected, from which both seem to have lost the train of thought.

– Ahem. I'm sorry, miss, I just wanted to say that even despite the mayor's position, he couldn't run forever and his shop would have been closed sooner or later, and then such a repeatedly convicted person became mayor!.. I often heard strange conversations behind the heavy doors of his office..If he's not part of a cult, then he certainly collaborated with it..The woman mentally praised the policeman for his ingenuity, because he was absolutely right that Glenn Evermore was part of the cult and, directly, thanks to the latter, he was able to break into the upper strata of society. But even so, for the cultists, he was nothing more than a submissive performer, and then, apparently, he made up for the lack of abuse of power on his employees.There was an awkward silence between them and then, a spark flashed in Lila's eyes and she was about to start, when suddenly:

– He-e-e-ey! What a joy! Has my dear friend finally found a new partridge? This one, of course, doesn't look as cute as your Christopher, but as for me, your new one is much more pleasant! Is moustache really a passport to underpants for you now, Lila? Ohh, well, don't make such a face, I'm just kidding! When will you introduce us? Or maybe we can get acquainted right now? Oh! Excuse me, I think you have a date, right? How embarrassing! Okay, Lila, call me tonight, tell me more about him! Although, if you had plans for the evening with your new lover, then I will gladly accept a call early in the morning! He-he, good luck, girl!

After gifting the bewildered people on the bench with her brilliant monologue, Jaune, she's just Lila's BFF, left, continuing her walk, being in an even more elated mood. She shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, but catching up and explaining herself would have been even more awkward and inappropriate, so coughing loudly, she heard:

– I'm sorry, John...

– Nonsense, she just believes in the best, I guess.– with a slight shake of his head, he reached for another cigarette

– Phew, thanks for understanding...Anyway, I wanted to say that you are right! The mayor is indeed also a member of the cult. And I think, since we are two people in a difficult life situation, then with the last of our strength, we could fight back!

–Absolutely reckless of you, Miss Lila...I am interested, what is your plan and how could I help?

[delirim]

CONTINUED FROM x // @morpheusxdream

DELIRIUM DOUBLES OVER in her laughter; laughing, laughing, laughing. And from her nose, the red-wax BLOOD COMES. Gathers in small globs on dirty asphalt, and she doesn’t care to stop it. ... It’s days like these that she forgets herself; forgets how to walk, to breathe, to think. She forgets she has siblings. She forgets she has responsibilities. She forgets that she’s been anything OTHER than what she is now; DELIRIUM.

Had she been conscious of her surroundings, Delirium might have shivered with FEAR at her brother’s display. Indeed, she rarely sees his stoic facade slip into something more primal. And his anger, cosmic in nature— like the supernova of stars— falls on slightly DEAF EARS.

But she can damn well feel the shift in atmosphere, and the sudden stir of sandy particles— that which serves as an antecedent to TROUBLE.

❝ Who. Now you’re beginning to sound like an owl, brother. Who. And to think I thought you liked cats better, not owls— ❞ She speaks between giggles; FIGHTS to suppress the noise and grows evermore confused by her situation.

Remember. Try to REMEMBER.

❝ Oh, you know. A coterie. Some funny looking people. Real rough-housey and they smelled real bad. Like gasoline and. Oh, what's that stuff they make walls out of?  ❞