#every green vegetable is bad and everything else is good

[clementinefight]

cold summer

My stress this summer is so bad, my neck is permanently stiff. Rigid, nervous, stone. A girl wakes in the middle of the night, she's alone in a deep world of empty houses, and in the dispossessed sleep of her childhood branches have started to grow from her arms, limp orange muddy leaves have overcome her hair, and she is rooting from toes down into floorboards. Nobody to ask a thing, like whether or not her experience of life is normal. So the branches grow, gather, then she is this isolated nature in her isolated bedroom, turned over to a cyclical light of day or night she sees only through gaps in her own weather, and so big with bushiness she can’t get out the manufactured door and enter the wood where, unbeknownst to her, are the others just like her, made of branches and leaves and who have solitary spirits also, though still need their roots to touch the roots of another. Or something. Sometimes, and I’m not proud of this, I look out at the green backyard and I see the peach-juice sun in the sky and I see the invisible breezes of July curling with tendrils of dark flora and it seems not like I'm here, but like I’m watching television, something bright and far away. I forget it’s my day, that I can even go over there and touch if I wanted to, I could even pee on the land like a dog would, if I wanted to, and claim this in some way.

Haven’t swam enough, haven’t walked enough, I’m becoming a little suburbanite cruising around in my dented car, seeing everything through eyes of windshield. The bushes, the houses, the pink sinking light—it’s all over there, and nothing is here but the music. This puts a strange layer of distance between me and summer, me and real things. I will make a point later to stick my toe in some mud – or press my bare hand into black pavement, will the asphalt to deflate like it’s a hot chocolate cake. Wouldn’t you like for the parking lots to liquify and sink below ground every summer, and for the black waves to rock our heat glistened cars around, up towards the marshmallow clouds; or for the greenery to not stop where it stops but extend until it’s like a shag of shining lime hair over the shopping mall, the movie theatre. If you don’t have a car, good for you, stay pure

Something else I’ve noticed — I’m such an impulse buyer. Buying feels close and friendly, like putting on some leather gloves. I would never want to see me at an auction. Stressed, my emotions lift to a crescendo where they then collapse from jitters into an almost hysterical net around my entire body—a pantsuit of stress, and it’s three colours: blue, red and purple, the baby. Feels warm, then cold. Here I either go to the grocery store to buy new condiments, shortbread, or jarred vegetables in brine or oil; or I’ll buy books online.

Today it was books. A small NYRB haul. I guess this is a fairly tame impulse, but I’d really rather be that one who stresses out and goes for a walk, or a swim, or a bike ride, or a scream into their pillow. Instead I just fill my cart, and it’s like filling a hole for a little while. Hate my methods. Look forward to the books. The Liar by Martin A. Hansen (“and for years now Johannes has lived alone”), My Friends by Emmanuel Bove, Machines in the Head by Anna Kavan and The Juniper Tree by Barbara Comyns. I’m drawn to stories with the desperate or resigned thud of loneliness in them; it’s what I relate to most; or maybe it’s not; it’s funny, even when people reach out for connection, I still want to believe it’s being alone I’m most capable of, even made for (I say that in a soldierly way, which makes it even more embarrassing). Björk was in a movie called The Juniper Tree, which was inspired by the Brothers Grimm fairy tale as was the novel by Comyns. Maybe I’ll read that too.

Today I’m in Montreal. I'm visiting my little brother. His balcony looks out onto other nondescript buildings, and he leaves the door wide open while he naps and I work on my laptop out here on the couch; trucks and cars roar a kind of grating metal noise down below, this noise feels prehistoric rather than modern, like out of sight the earth has split under lava and now we are getting not the sight but the noise, the noise. I decide to welcome it. The noise is not a fixed feature of my life anyway, but of his life, in this way it’s easy to welcome. Brief everything. Brief and body me. Bonobo plays on the television, then Seabear, and last night we watched some episodes of King of the Hill—the tornado episode had some beautiful red and green skies. My coffee this morning brought on nausea and I thought I could wave this dislocation off by eating a raisin croissant, but that made it worse, though at least it was good. Now I sit here with a foggy head taking forever to get my work done. EEEEEK

Later going to meet my brother’s girlfriend for the first time over some ramen! Then going to see the 10:15 show Oppenheimer with both of them, all three of us together.

In two weeks I leave for my trip! Ireland, Scotland, London, Iceland!

[fox-buried-in-maple-leaves]

the uh. fruits and vegetables asks for galin, please

- local redhead kisser (0.5/2.5)

🍎 [RED APPLE] Who does your OC value above all else?

Weirdly enough, its family? They value the family they've /found/ over everything else. Their bonds mean the most to them. 🍒 [CHERRY] Who is your OC's perfect companion?

Ginger sunshine meets silver ghost. They need somebody to balance out their recklessness tbh... Actually you're perfect too, Rex! Blue bf blue bf blue bf!! 🍓 [STRAWBERRY] How do they feel about 'cute' things?

Of course Galin loves cute things, its Galin Maher?? 🍅 [TOMATO] How misunderstood is your OC? In-universe or IRL.

Galin is misunderstood in the way they purposefully twist perceptions to become misunderstood. Much like the rest of the Razvedka members. I think they're a little misunderstood by some of my friends as well who only know them on the surface. 🌶️ [HOT PEPPER] Who would your OC declare their sworn enemy if they could meet them?

Galin doesn't have time to hate like that tbh.. They're a little lazy.. 🍉 [WATERMELON] What will your OC take to the grave?

The kingdom they let down.

🥕 [CARROT] How tough is your OC against certain situations? How weak are they against others?

Galin is very useful against Pyro and Hydro! They're also very useful and being a silly little guy! And they're exceptionally weak to situations that cause their loved ones to get hurt. 🍊 [ORANGE] Does your OC have a prophecy surrounding them? If they don't, what would it be?

Galin was supposed to be the king of kings, but they denied their destiny and their kingdom fell for their hubris. A shame, really. 🥭 [MANGO] What colours best represent them and why? Does this differ from their favourites?

Bright yellow and sage green. Sunshine and softness, you know? Their favourite colours are gold and red though. 🍑 [PEACH] How do they show their kindness? How kind are they truly?

Galin is truly kind. A genuine person. Who lies and lies to protect others, who damns themself to love others. Who has lost and now gives every aspect of themself. 🍌 [BANANA] Have parts of your OC been lost to time (in-universe)? What do they wish they could lose from themselves?

Not yet as of canon, but given their status as an interstice, yes, eventually parts of them will be lost to time. Much to their chagrin.. They don't want to lose anything! They need to like themself, they /have/ to. Or else.. What was it for? 🧅 [ONION] What is surefire to make your OC cry? Who knows of this information?

Absolutely anything. They cry very easily. But cry /neg? honestly making fun of them for their kindness or happiness, its very cruel. Most of Razvedka knows this, so does Satoru and Emil. 🍍 [PINEAPPLE] Pineapple on pizza or not?

"Mmm... No thank you!" 🍋 [LEMON] What is their kryptonite/ultimate weakness?

Their love and devotion. 🌽 [CORN] How good are they at hiding and finding their way?

Very good, of course! They're a spy, after all. Even if they seem like a lowly member of Razvedka. They're still handpicked for their skill. 🍈 [MELON] If they had to be put into a box, what box would it be and why?

Box that says "coolest little fella" because they are the coolest little fella, duh. 🍏 [GREEN APPLE] How do they differ from the norm and how are they punished for it?

Galin is a kind person who works for an army that stops at nothing to achieve their goals. And yes, Galin is a liar, a cunning person who is shaping things behind the scenes. But they are punished by their love and their bleeding heart. 🍐 [PEAR] What is their current social standing? If they could change it, would they, and to what?

They're well respected in the Fatui, but looked down upon often. "You don't belong there." and all. They wouldn't change it though, Galin likes where they are and who they're with. 🥒 [CUCUMBER] How innocent are they (unaware to the bad happenings around them)?

...They know more than they let on. 🥬 [LEAFY GREEN] How mundane are they? Do they like it that way?

Not AT ALL... 🥦 [BROCCOLI] What do they hate about humanity/their species?

Humanity's hubris.... 🥑 [AVOCADO] What will they never back down about, even if it makes them seem bad?

That "things aren't as they seem and you need to look at the bigger picture. Destiny isn't clear cut, and it can be subverted. You need to do better, try harder!" 🥝 [KIWI FRUIT] How does their outside appearance differ from who they are?

Their outfit and outside appearance is kind of wild and honestly that's just how they are in general.. They don't really care about how others see them lol.. 🥔 [POTATO] What do they have that others see as a flaw, but they don't care about?

Honestly their age and inexperience tbh.. 🍆 [EGGPLANT] How are they used by others? How easily are they tricked into this?

Galin the kind of person to pretend to be a doormat only to twist the other person into doing their bidding by using their innocence as cover. They're very good at it. 🍇 [GRAPES] What's their circle of people/their species like? What dynamic would they be called?

FOUND FAMILY, BABYYYY.

[unveiledkinarchive]

james. • bodyclaim. • headcanons. • isms. • threads.

BASIC INFO

full name — James Walsh age — thirty-nine (march) gender — cis male, (he/ him/ his pronouns) orientation — homosexual  occupation — math teacher at the local highschool with occasional classes at college family — daniel & anne (parents), don & kara (aunt who raised him after killing his parents)  clothing style — fancier for work; be it slacks and a button-up for work or plain tees, but outside of work? jeans, shirts ...everything comfy goes

PHYSICAL INFO

face claim — Lee Pace hair — brown / eyes — green with specks of hazel and blue height — six foot & five inches build — lanky and loooong ass limbs scars — a few across his body tattoos — traditional runes form a long, straight line down james' back, following his spine all the way down - starting where hair meets neck and ending at the small of his back, also resonating runes across his heart - they form a little circle piercings — none special characteristics — he has a stutter that worsens when he gets nervous/under pressure/embarrassed etc. sexual preference — bottom sub switch ish

PERSONALITY

alignment — just... good positive traits — loyal, sweet, kind negative traits — shy, submissive af, nervous, skittish hobbies — enjoying nature

MEDICAL INFO

mental — n/a physical — n/a phobias — n/a, he doesn't like technology though eyesight — 20/20 but he has glasses dominant hand — left hand drug use — no alcohol use — no diet — vegetarian... mostly.

BACKGROUND

birthplace — the forest (somewhere by Alaska) parents — Anne Walsh (mother) & Daniel Walsh (father)  siblings — many education — college and up notable skills — survivalist

James Walsh was born in a land far, far away where the wolves believed in much more than nature and Mother Nature. The land was hidden deep in a thick forest, safe from the outside world and therefore quite isolated - only few knew the way to and from, so there was only limited outside influence. The masses believed in fairies deep in the woods, ghosts of the past that protected the forest from danger. Among those lived James’ tribe - they believed to be one with the forest and its mythical inhabitants. The Majority of that big, feral tribe of foxes didn’t believe in killing to survive and they would instead choose to survive on what the forest gave them.. naturally. herbs, plants, vegetables, fruit and berries.

After years and many generations, their bodies had mostly adjusted to the diet and most of them lived normal lives - that said, if mother nature would grant them meat, they would accept it. Everything mother nature gave them was special. But not the entire tribe believed in that lifestyle, especially with the forest slowly dying. A mystery was unfolding and it came bearing bad news for James and the pack. Every single day, the forest was decaying. Little by little, piece by piece - the darkness took over and consumed the living. The reason ? Nobody could tell. Mother Nature acted in mysterious ways sometimes.

The pack leaders were never quite in unison when it came to decisions, be it meat or no meat, or in this case whether to abandon home or not. Someone else thought a child should be offered to Mother Nature, but thankfully James was too old for that idea to happen to him, then others thought it was punishment for them denying their foxes true freedom by not eating meat, as Mother Nature had made them, the different packs, lead by a dame (James’ mother) and her sister, were arguing once again, but after a successful assassination attempt on almost every non-carnivore fox in their tribe, James lost his parents and almost everybody he loved to poison. They had spared the kids to raise them the way they believed, young pups were easily influenceable. They raised him as one of their own - mostly, but James was never like them. Something went wrong when he was born, or maybe he was born just right, but the light in his eyes never quite matched the golden shine of his parents. And then there was that unfortunate stutter. 

An outsider in his own tribe, he never felt welcome - never felt that warmth of a home he did before his parents died. He was alive, but at what cost? The forest was dying and they, with it. When the trees they had spent all their lives in took their last breath, the tribe decided to move, but James … didn’t follow them. If he was to leave the home he was born in - the last reminder he had of his parents, then he would leave and travel the world. 

And he did. 

He traveled lands he’d never known existed until he quite literally stumbled into it. A youngling among his own, an ..adult in this human world he stumbled into. Learning their language is a craft he never quite perfected, but it got him to where he needed to be. Some felt his stutter added to his charm, others - especially those of his kind, or a similar one felt it was .. too on the nose. Might as well tell them you're not human. But to James it was never about becoming one of them, he wanted to live by their side, learn to see the world the way they did.

And he did.

Due to his slow aging, he's got to keep relocating. He has been for the longest time, but ...starting fresh time and time again.. is tiring, which is why he craves nothing more than to settle somewhere. Once and for all. Somewhere he doesn't need to hide. Alexandria...seems like the perfect place for that.

[docolives]

MERROCK TASK #17 SPRING FORWARD

first things first: do you like spring? Love spring! It's such a refreshing, happy time of year.

what is your favorite thing about spring? The flowers, I just love when everything turns green and colorful and pretty again after such a dreary time of year has come and gone.

what is your least favorite thing about spring? Easily the mud. I've lost many a good pair of shoes to mud being literally everywhere, no way to get away from it.

do you have a vegetable / produce / fruit garden? A little one! I don't grow a lot (the market is too handy for that), but I like trying a little bit.

how about flower beds, or things planted in the house? Flower beds! I don't have a lot of plants inside because of Mallow, but there are a few here and there.

regardless of what you do or do not plant, are you good at growing plants? have a green thumb? I'm not bad. I'm definitely not going to be a gardener in my next life, but I can keep houseplants alive and take good care of my flower beds.

what's your favorite flower or plant? I love hibiscus flowers, rose of sharons and swamp mallows!

what's your favorite scent that you associate with spring? Lilacs.

is there a sound that you associate with spring time? Baby birds, obviously. But also other sounds, like happy laughter, wind chimes and the chime of bike bells.

do you prefer sunny mornings or rainy afternoons? Sunny mornings!

favorite thing to do on a sunny, warm spring day? Horseback riding, or just hanging out with the horses in general. I love being outside as much as possible.

favorite thing to do on a rainy, chilly spring day? Those are normally the best days to get some work around the house done, I think -- catch up on laundry, do the dishes, then curl up for a nap.

do you celebrate Easter? any traditions you follow for it? Yeah, I do. My family always gets together. I still wear a nice dress and little white shoes, too! Sometimes we do church, but most of the time it's just a meal and my parents put together Easter baskets for me and Mandy, which is fun.

regardless of if you do or don't: favorite Easter candy? I actually kind of like Peeps? And the different flavored jelly beans, too!

what other springtime holidays do you observe? I go to the St. Patrick's Day celebration every year, and observe the first day of spring by trying to do something outdoors!

favorite place in Merrock to visit in the springtime? I mean... the ranch, obviously, haha! But I also love going to the beach. Not to swim, just to walk.

the spring bugs are coming out: do you rescue them and let them out of the house, or grab the nearest shoe? Ughhh, this is the part where I'm supposed to show how much I care about the environment by letting you know that I let them go, but I squash the really ugly, scary ones. Every time.

are you a big spring cleaner? Yes! Huge, I always feel like I need to get my house looking as nice as possible, otherwise I'm going to be upset about every bit of dirt that gets dragged in. I'd rather stay on top of things.

do you switch over your wardrobe from cold weather to warm weather clothes? Yes, but timing is everything. You absolutely have to wait until you're sure that it's going to be warm enough, or else... regret. And you don't want that.

how about the house: does your decor change for the spring season? do you rearrange furniture? It does, I have a lot of (faux) flowers and lacy, pretty things that come out in the spring time. The furniture, not so much, except for things like pillows and blankets, and maybe the slip covers.

what color makes you think 'spring'? Pink!

describe your perfect spring outfit: Jeans, white sneakers, light sweater, probably dainty jewelry, maybe hair tied back? Maybe not, depends on the weather.

most adorable looking baby animal that you ever did see? Baby horse, obviously! Kittens, too.

what's a drink that makes you think of spring? Strawberry milk.

how about a snack? That's a tough one, there are so many summer foods, but not as many spring ones. Maybe something like trail mix, or rice crispy treats.

[foxcared]

james. • bodyclaim. • headcanons. • isms. • threads.

Is that LEE PACE? No, that’s JAMES WALSH. The 37 year old WILD MOON WEREFOX OMEGA MALE (HE/HIM)  is a ???. If you ask their friends, they’re known to be LOYAL & RELIABLE, but beware, they’re also known to be SHY & NERVOUS. Can you believe they’re from THE PAST? Me either.

BASIC INFO

full name — James Walsh age — thirty-nine (march) gender — cis male, (he/ him/ his pronouns) second gender — omega  moon — wild moon  occupation — ??? family — daniel & anne (parents), don & kara (aunt who raised him after killing his parents)  clothing style — furcoat preferred, but loose pants and shirts as he gets used to human clothes

PHYSICAL INFO

face claim — Lee Pace hair — brown / eyes — green with specks of hazel and blue height — six foot & five inches build — lanky and loooong ass limbs scars — a few across his body tattoos — traditional runes form a long, straight line down james' back, following his spine all the way down - starting where hair meets neck and ending at the small of his back, also resonating runes across his heart - they form a little circle piercings — none special characteristics — he has a stutter that worsens when he gets nervous/under pressure/embarrassed etc. sexual preference — bottom sub switch kinks — breeding, hair pulling, praise, pits, scents, nipple play, pushy partners (he literally can't ask for it so he needs le nudge), quickies in public places, skin contact/touching anti-kinks — scat, gore, intense breath play, blood play

PERSONALITY

alignment — just... good positive traits — loyal, sweet, kind negative traits — shy, submissive af, nervous, skittish hobbies — enjoying nature

MEDICAL INFO

mental — n/a physical — n/a phobias — technophobia (mostly bc he doesn't know it and it terrifies him and all the blinking lights and buzzing drive him mad) eyesight — 20/20 but he has glasses dominant hand — left hand drug use — no alcohol use — no diet — vegetarian... mostly.

BACKGROUND

birthplace — the forest parents — Anne Walsh (mother) & Daniel Walsh (father)  siblings — many education — none notable skills — survivalist

James Walsh was born in a land far, far away where the wolves believed in much more than nature and Mother Nature. The land was hidden deep in a thick forest, safe from the outside world and therefore quite isolated - only few knew the way to and from, so there was only limited outside influence. The masses believed in fairies deep in the woods, ghosts of the past that protected the forest from danger. Among those lived James’ tribe - they believed to be one with the forest and its mythical inhabitants. The Majority of that big, feral tribe of foxes didn’t believe in killing to survive and they would instead choose to survive on what the forest gave them.. naturally. herbs, plants, vegetables, fruit and berries.

After years and many generations, their bodies had mostly adjusted to the diet and most of them lived normal lives - that said, if mother nature would grant them meat, they would accept it. Everything mother nature gave them was special. But not the entire tribe believed in that lifestyle, especially with the forest slowly dying. A mystery was unfolding and it came bearing bad news for James and the pack. Every single day, the forest was dying. Little by little, piece by piece - the darkness took over and consumed the living. The reason was quite simple, the forest’s guardian - the prince of the kingdom had left - chased away by his mother and her merchants, so the wood no longer thrived on the chosen one’s strength. 

The pack leaders were never quite in unison when it came to decisions, be it meat or no meat, or in this case whether to abandon home or not. Someone else thought a child should be offered to Mother Nature, but thankfully James was too old for that idea to happen to him, then others thought it was punishment for them denying their foxes true freedom by not eating meat, as Mother Nature had made them, the different packs, lead by a dame (James’ mother) and her sister, were arguing once again, but after a successful assassination attempt on almost every non-carnivore fox in their tribe, James lost his parents and almost everybody he loved to poison. They had spared the kids to raise them the way they believed, young pups were easily influenceable. They raised him as one of their own - mostly, but James was never like them. Something went wrong when he was born, or maybe he was born just right, but the light in his eyes never quite matched the gold of his parents. And then there was that unfortunate stutter. 

An outsider in his own tribe, he never felt welcome - never felt that warmth of a home, he did before his parents died. He was alive, but at what cost? The forest was dying and they, with it. When the trees they had spent all their lives in took their last breath, the tribe decided to move, but James … didn’t follow them. If he was to leave the home he was born in - the last reminder he had of his parents, then he would leave and travel the world. 

And he did. 

He traveled lands he’d never known existed until he stumbled over a place that would ... be his last, at least i this timeline, it seemed.

Willowshire. 

There had been whispers among the foxes that true freedom would await them in this village, but it would mean giving up life as they knew it, so nobody ever took the risk.. until now.

Unlucky for James that he made it there just in time for a great force to reach in and pull him with her into a world that was even more broken than their own. The Future. Only James didn't know that it was, because he woke up in a thick forest that .. almost felt like home. For ... a long time he remained and embraced the obvious sign Mother Nature gave him, but during one of his casual strolls through nature, he was captured and when he woke up... everything was different.

A world he'd never seen before.

[superdupernutrition]

A Healthy Food Plan for You

By: Paul Claybrook, MS, MBA

Knowing the basics of how, what, and when to eat is essential in following a healthy food plan.  You are what you eat, so you better do it right!

What to Eat In Your Healthy Food Plan

Foods of all kinds can be classified in one or more of the following categories:

Grains

Rice, breads, noodles, beans, and other starchy sort of things.  These typically provide good sources of complex carbohydrates.  This is probably your main energy source.

Fruits

Apples, pears, plums, grapes, bananas, etc.  You know what fruits are.  Among other things, these provide antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, incomplete proteins and fiber.

Vegetables

Broccoli, radishes, green beans, corn, etc.  Like fruits, they also provide vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, incomplete proteins and fiber.

Protein

Chicken, eggs, beef, fish, crab, etc. are all sources of protein.  Technically, almost everything you eat has some protein in it, but with few exceptions only animal sources contain all of the amino acids that your body needs to build human proteins.  Excluding water, it is what 80% of your body is made of, so it especially important in a healthy meal plan with regards to building and maintaining the stuff you are made of. Dairy

Milk, cheese, yogurt, tofu, etc. are all dairy products.  Although often from cows, dairy can come from any milk producing animal.  Dairy contains some vitamins and minerals, most notably plenty of calcium, an important mineral for strong bones.  It also contains some carbohydrates, fats, and protein.  There is a lot of controversy over milk safety for humans, especially from cows that are fed hormones.  However, there no scientific evidence indicating that cows fed hormones have any effect on people.  In fact, milk from cows that are not fed hormones and ones that do, is chemically identical.1

Fats and Oils

Until somewhat recently, fat was something to avoid.  Well, it still is…to a point.  The body needs and uses even the “bad” fats to some extent, but there are also many fats that are now considered “good.”  The good fats are usually found in higher amounts in seafood and plant sources whereas the “bad” fats tend to dominate in animal sources.  If it is solid at room temperature it’s mostly “bad” fat, like bacon or beef grease.  If it’s a liquid, it’s mostly good fat like olive oil.  Really though, there isn’t “good” and “bad” at all.  But what is bad is not getting enough of the ones we used to call “good.”  Namely omega-3’s.2. Despite what you’ve been taught in school, you need plenty of fat. What you don’t actually need are carbs. Fat does not cause your body harm, inflammation is what causes the buildup of fats and eventually heart attack and stroke, not the fat itself.

How Much Should I Include in My Food Plan

First of all, how much food to eat will vary from person to person depending on many factors such as activity level, body size, physical goals and convenience.  For instance, an individual that goes running for 45 minutes every day needs more food to maintain a healthy eating plan than someone who plays tennis once a week.  Likewise, a 6’6 man will need much more food than a 5’2 woman, just like an SUV needs more fuel than a motorcycle.  There are also people that are genetically predisposed to deal with calories differently.  All things being equal, one person may never worry about their diet and stay slim whereas someone else might constantly fight weight gain.3

It Depends on YOU

“How much” does not have a one-size-fits-all answer either.  However, some suggestions may help you get started.  For example, if you find you are relatively thin right now, then you probably eat about what you need.  If your activity level increases, so should the amount of food you eat, at least in theory.  If you become less active, your food intake should decrease.

The “average” male should probably consume about 2000 calories per day from food.  If you are above average or active, that number will be higher.  Likewise, if you are below average size or very inactive it should be lower.  The “average” female should probably look to hit about 1500 calories per day.  Now, these numbers are only very rough estimates because not only is there really no such thing as “average,” you can be sure that you are not it.  Calorie needs can change based on age, activity level and genetics.  This also assumes that these “average” people we are talking about are not trying to lose weight in which case these numbers would look smaller yet.

 How Often Should I Eat?

How often’ is the next matter of business when it comes to creating a healthy meal plan.  Optimal health is most easily reached with a diet that consists of 4-6 small meals per day.  This can also be done as 3 good sized meals and 2 or 3 small snacks in between.    It should be pretty obvious that eating 1800 calories once a day is not the same as eating 600 calories 3 times a day.  Likewise, eating 600 calories 3 times daily is not the same as eating 300 calories 6 times daily, but they all equal a total of 1800 calories.

That being said, spreading out your food consumption makes for a healthy eating plan for two reasons.  First, eating more frequently provides your body with a steady stream of nutrients.  Secondly, it increases your metabolism.  If you go too long without eating your body tends to become catabolic, meaning it begins to break down muscle tissue and store fat.  Frequent meals keep you anabolic, a state of building muscle and tearing down fat.

Granted, eating every 3 hours or so is not possible for everyone.  A surgeon can’t just stop a heart transplant to go get a snack, but many of us can make the time even if we think we can’t.  If you can only get 4 meals one day, that’s OK.  Just remember that being healthy person doesn’t require perfection, so we do the best we can. After all, eating frequently alone doesn’t do you any good.  The most important part is that you are consuming healthy foods and the right amounts of each type.

 

Eating at Bedtime ≠ Weight Gain

Also, don’t fret that eating 5 or 6 times per day requires one meal to be close to bedtime.  There is nothing inherently fattening about eating before bed.  Many overweight people, who obviously are not following a healthy eating plan to lose weight, eat a lot at night (after work).  That’s where this myth probably comes from.  They may only be eating one big meal during the day, making their body break down muscle and want to store fat.  Then they eat at night and their body stores it all as fat.  It isn’t the fact that they eat before bed that makes them fat, but the way they eat throughout the day.

How much of each food group is in a Healthy Food Plan?

This question does not have a concrete answer either, I’m afraid; it depends mostly on your goals.  For instance, a bodybuilder would want more protein in their diet and a dieter would want fewer carbs than the “average” person.  Chances are you aren’t concerned with copious amounts of muscle and like I mentioned before, if you have weight to lose, just following the general ideas on this site alone can make a significant difference in your size.

The “Average” Food Plan

So, we will consider what “average” people should eat.  I will do this in the form of a pie chart.  Remember, everyone will be much different in terms of how much food they should eat, so I won’t talk about number of servings or calories.  The pie chart (below) consists of relative quantities.  This is meant to indicate how much of the food you eat should be from each food group.  So, the person who eats 3000 calories per day will still have the same proportions as the one who eats 1500 calories per day.  The difference will be the total amount of food, just more or less of all food groups.

In the ideal world, all the approximate proportions of each food group would be present in every meal.  However, life is often not ideal, so many times your meals will not contain all food groups every meal, but other meals will include different food groups.  In other words, you don’t need to have fruit at every meal, but it should still constitute about fifteen percent of your diet daily.  So maybe you don’t have veggies at breakfast, but for lunch you might have an entire chicken salad, so you are still filling your need for veggies.

Food Pie

This is the food groups pie chart of approximately what proportions of each food group should be present each day in a healthy eating plan.  Remember, this is not precisely what you need each day, just approximately.  You may never get these proportions exactly, but try to stay relatively close to it and if you don’t do dairy, just replace it with more fruits and veggies.

Regardless of your goals, if you want to be a healthy person then the pie chart of food groups is your friend.  If you are looking for a healthy eating plan to lose weight, eat less of everything of course, but cut your carbs the most significantly.  .  If you want to build muscle, crank up your milk and meat, but not at the expense of other groups, and if you just want to be healthier, follow it as is.

A Note About Carbs and Your Food Plan

We’ve been told for decades now that carbs are the ‘base’ of our diet.  That is, in fact, government hogwash.  There is zero need for humans to consume carbs.  And since carbs (mainly in the form of sugar) is responsible for most of the obesity, heart disease and a slew of other common diseases, you probably should stay away in large part.  Besides, you’ll still get plenty of them in fruits and veggies.  That doesn’t mean you have to stay away from carbs, especially ones that come with fiber (like brown rice and Bran cereal), it just means they should NOT represent the majority of your diet.

What is an example of what my Meal Plan Should Look Like?

Like I mentioned before, you are probably not going to include all food groups in their proper proportions at every meal.  If you can, that’s great, but it’s not terribly practical.  Here are some healthy food plan ideas that might help:

��

Breakfast

3 eggs

Banana

Snack

1 protein bar

Lunch

Small bowl of beans and rice

Asparagus

4 oz. chicken breast

Snack

Large apple

Dinner

4 oz. steak

Small baked potato

Small bowl of cooked carrots

Snack

Half a BLT

Here’s another…

Breakfast

3eggs

1 piece of toast

4 oz of grapes

Snack

Small bowl of stew (noodles, meat, veggies)

Glass of apple juice

Lunch

Bowl of rice pilaf (rice, celery, onion, etc.)

Bowl of mixed vegetables

Glass of milk

Snack

Half a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Dinner

Bowl of cauliflower w/cheese

Turkey leg

Snack

Pear

And another…

Breakfast

2 eggs mixed with a little cheese, peppers and onions

1-piece toast (lightly buttered)

1 orange

Snack

Protein bar

Lunch

meat sandwich (with mayo)

1 glass of nonfat milk

Snack

1 bagel (no cream cheese)

Dinner

Chicken sandwich

1 bowl of green beans

1 glass of grape juice

Snack

1 hard-boiled egg

Make it YOUR Food Plan

I realize that you may be horrified at the idea of eating that many times and that much food every day.  Nonetheless, these menus are meant to be certain foods, not necessarily certain quantities.  They are rough estimates based on the “average” person, which none of us really are.  Everyone’s needs are different, so let me give you an example of how you apply this to your personal healthy eating plan.  Let’s take a second look at this dinner:

Chicken sandwich

1 bowl of green beans

1 glass of grape juice

If this were my dinner, I would eat:

3 Chicken sandwiches

1 large bowl of green beans

1 large glass of grape juice

My Mother-in-Law would eat this:

½ Chicken sandwich

1 small bowl of green beans

1 small glass of grape juice

I am very active male, work out 6 days a week and weigh 200lbs at 5’10.  My mother-in-law is about 5’5, 120lbs. and not that active.  Clearly my calorie and nutrition needs are much higher than hers and so I eat far more, although neither of us is overweight.  Each of us follow a healthy food plan tailored to our personal needs.  And therein lies the theme of this article.  Utilize these ideas and make it your own!

#mealplan #mealprep #weightloss #superdupernutrition

[doctorbhargavahomeopathy]

What is the Safest Diabetes Homeopathic Medicine and Treatment ?

We have never consumed as much sugar as we do now. This is why diabetes mellitus is becoming a growing public health problem. Even youngsters are suffering from acquired insulin insufficiency, often known as type 2 diabetes, frequently caused by dietary mistakes. Another element that contributes is a change in lifestyle. Diabetes can be prevented, controlled, and even reversed with a healthy diet. Following these guidelines, you may still enjoy your cuisine without feeling hungry or deprived.

How much carbohydrate or sugar should be consumed by a diabetic patient?

Many people are suffering with this question along with diabetes. The amount of carbohydrate that can be eaten depends on an individual’s nutritional status, age, gender, activity levels, medications and co-morbidities

Whether you're attempting to avoid or treat diabetes, your dietary requirements are not the same as everyone else's, therefore special meals are required to every different individual. You must pay attention to certain of your food choices, most notably the carbohydrates you consume. Just 5% to 10% of your overall weight loss will help you decrease your blood sugar, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. Losing weight and eating better may significantly impact your mood, energy, and overall sense of well-being. Diabetes roughly doubles the risk of heart disease and increases the chance of acquiring mental health issues such as depression. However Diabetic patients can use Diaboglob tablet homeopathic medicine for reducing blood sugar level.

How often should a diabetic person eat?

A diabetes patient should eat regular meals, they should follow a 3 meal pattern with snacks in between.

What is a balanced diet? And why is it important for a diabetic patient to have a balanced diet?

A diet that contains adequate amount of carbs, protein, fats, vitamins and minerals. A balanced diet is different for every individual and hence it is different for a diabetic patient.

Some points to keep in mind while making a diet plan for a diabetic patient.

Consume more healthy fats, such as almonds, olive oil, fish oils, flax seeds, and avocados.

Fruits and vegetables—ideally fresh and colourful; whole fruit rather than juices.

Whole grain cereals and bread with high fibre content.

Fish and shellfish, as well as organic chicken.

High-quality protein sources include eggs, beans, low-fat dairy, and plain yogurt.

Foods that can assist in lowering blood sugar levels like Fenugreek or Methi seeds, Bitter Gourd (Karela), jamun seeds (jambolinum) Gymnema (Gurmar), and Guduchi (Amrit) are some herbal items that have been used with moderate effectiveness in reducing blood sugar.

Consume less packaged and quick meals, particularly those rich in sugar, such as baked goods, candies, chips, and desserts, White bread, sugary cereals, refined pasta, and rice are all examples of processed foods, Red meat and processed meat

Low-fat items contain added sugar in place of fat, such as fat-free yogurt.

Some foods that can be consumed by diabetic patients in unrestricted amounts are foods that does not spike blood sugar levels like black coffee, black tea, unsweetened lime juice, clear soups, salads, greens.

However always remember that excess of everything is bad.

Increase your level of activity. 

Exercise can aid in weight management and may increase insulin sensitivity. Walking for 30 minutes a day (or three 10-minute sessions if that's simpler) is an easy way to start exercising. You can also try swimming, bicycling, or any other moderate-intensity activity that causes you to break out in a sweat and breathe more deeply.

Diabetes is a long-term illness that may be controlled using a variety of medical approaches like homeopathy diabetes tablet or medicine.

Homeopathy is a holistic method of treatment for curing diabetes from the root cause using safe, side-effect-free homeopathic medicine and constitutional modifications in early-stage cases. Along with Doctor Bhargava homeopathic remedies; many homeopaths utilize Yoga and Naturopathy. If one's blood sugar is really high, the first concern is to get it under control so that one does not face life-threatening problems. Doctor Bhargava Diaboglob Tablet Helps in reducing the high blood sugar level and enhances the digestive activities. It is very effective homeopathic medicine for diabetes type 1 and type 2. Also, it provides relief from frequent urination problems.

[mkfitnessnz]

Creating Good Eating Habits

Eating healthy should be foremost on your priority list. You need to be extremely careful about what you are eating, how you are eating, and when you are eating. Many people cut down on their food radically to lose weight. However, such sudden changes can initiate weight loss only in the short term. However, such DIY changes are not advised as it starts to affect your health and become the root cause of many diseases.

If you wish to lose weight, your need to eat well, sleep well and work out at a fitness gym near me.

What are some of the good eating habits? Let us find out more about it here.

• Eat plenty of vegetables

Ensure that your plate is filled with veggies like green beans, broccoli, leafy veggies like kale, Brussels sprouts, and more. Alongside you should have lean proteins, legumes, and whole grains.

• Never skip your breakfast

This is a major gap in the diet of most people. It is common to skip breakfast. People tend to eat more during lunch and dinner. That’s the wrong outlook. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Remember after 8 -10 hours of sleep, the body needs nourishment for proper functioning and carrying out normal metabolic activities. A breakfast meal should contain proteins like eggs, unsaturated fats, and complex carbs.

• Starving is a strict no-no

If you thought that the best way to lose weight is by not eating food, then you are wrong. When you starve, it can backfire and start a chain of reactions that can hamper your health. Most people who starve, give in to their hunger pangs at some or the other time and start to binge on whatever food they can get their hands on. The effect can be catastrophic.

The best way to maintain weight or lose weight is by exercising. Giving up a sedentary lifestyle is the most crucial aspect here. A better weight to stay grounded and keep your weight constant is to join a gym or work with a fitness coach in Auckland.

• Fresh is always better than packaged food

While marketers ensure that branded packaged food looks good, in most cases, the so-called goodness is limited to the exterior only. Like the packaging is attractive, the discounts are mind-blowing, and so on. On the inside, the food may be filled with processed sugars and salt and made with saturated fats.

Therefore, you need to be very careful in what you choose from the grocery stores. Instead of looking at ads and getting inspired, make it a habit to read the labels to understand the content inside. Also, try and limit yourself to healthy options like fresh veggies and fruits. Similarly, stick to fresh produce of fish, meat, and dairy products.

• Say a Big No to Processed foods

A lot of your pain points can be eased off when you start to ignore processed foods. Don’t fall for meal boxes that come loaded with artificial preservatives, too many bad fats, sugars, and salt. Rather, cook at home. Go in for canned or frozen veggies, fish, lean meat, etc. if you can’t get fresh produce. Your health is going to stay fit and fine when you stay away from everything artificial and processed.

• Don’t Stay thirsty

When you are thirsty, it is the brain’s way of saying that you need hydration. This means that you need to drink more fluids. If you are perpetually thirsty, the reason could be something else and you must consult with a doctor. Ensure that you do not stay thirsty for a long time. Quench your thirst immediately with water, or other fluids, and the body’s fluid balance gets restored.

• Always eat your food while enjoying it

Shop for nutritious food and have fun while eating them. Your taste buds should be satiated but the mind and the body too need to be happy with the kind of fuel you provide to them. Stay focused on nourishment and find ways to do so. When you relax and eat slowly, enjoying every bite, the food ingredients are chewed well, and they are digested well. As a result, they keep the being thoroughly nourished.

Follow these steps to create a good and healthy eating habit. This way you will always stay in the pink of your health.

For the original version on Mkfitnessnz.com visit at: https://mkfitnessnz.com/creating-good-eating-habits/​

[its-blee]

Best LED Grow Light for a 4x2 Grow Tent

With so many LED grow lights on the market today, it can be difficult to tell which ones are good and which are bad. It's no secret that LED grow light technology is rapidly evolving. The absolute best LED grow lights delivered last year are, as of now, not important this year.

In this article, I will uncover my picks for the best LED grow lights in 2022. This rundown will incorporate LED grow lights that have a flowering coverage area of 2' x 4' and are best for a full-cycle grow. These are finished fixtures, as it were.

I used to feel that, assuming I got a premium LED grow light, every one of my inquiries would be responded to. In any case, no, that is really not the way it works. There is something else to it besides buying a costly grow light.

In any case, prior to buying an LED, figure out the number of watts you would require for a 4×2 or a 2×4 grow tent. Indeed, hypothetically, specialists propose holding back 50 watts for every square foot of your grow space.

More specifically, the proposal for higher and better canopy penetration would be 25 watts for vegetation and around 45 to 50 watts for the flowering stage. As an example, if you have a 2x4 grow tent, you'll need around 150 watts for the vegetative phase and 300 watts for flowering.

Top LED Grow Lights for 4x2 Tent

I've made this list for everybody. Thus, whether you are on a limited budget or you're searching for the best value for your money, this is for you!

This is likewise great if you are a grower who is trying to find the ideal product for commercial growing. Toward the end of this list, you'll find the perfectly suited grow light for the specific stage of your plants' growth cycle!

HLG 350R Diablo

First on the rundown is Horticulture Group's HLG 350-R LED Grow Light, more commonly referred to as "Diablo." This grow light is planned to replace the 600 watts of your HID lights with only 330 watts, along with a more practical and genuine power consumption, a full-spectrum light, and a wider light spread.

It has a full spectrum, meaning it has a white, red, blue, and green light spectrum, all perfect for the different phases of plant growth. This grow light has a broader blue spectrum wavelength, which improves the viability of any remaining plant varieties.

After purchasing the product, you will also receive a manual outlining the best way to run and operate it. Not at all like other full-spectrum lights, the HLG 350-R Diablo has a structure or design that is latently cool and has superb plant canopy penetration features.

Spider Farmer SF 2000

Spider Farmer is one of the grow light brands that has been popular for a long time because they have improved everything they offer. The Spider Farmer SF 2000 is one of their most recent leader LED lights, offering everything you need in an indoor grow light setting.

The Spider Farmer SF-2000 LED grow light is a low-wattage LED light with a noteworthy PPFD of 840 μmol/m²/s. It is a full-spectrum LED grow light with a MeanWell driver. Furthermore, it's dimmable!

The high-level, full-spectrum Samsung LM301B diodes have an expansive reach, including white, blue, red, and infrared.

It has no mechanical parts and delivers low heat, making it ideal for small spaces. This brand was created in China and accompanies a 90-day comprehensive warranty in addition to a 3-year limited warranty. The Spider Farmer fixture is evaluated for 40,000 to 50,000 hours.

ViparSpectra P2000

The ViparSpectra P2000 is one of the best LED grow lights as a result of nearly everything. It has a full spectrum, making it ideal for indoor plants. The P2000 LED grow light by Viparspectra is a top-notch 200-watt installation with installed darkening and great coverage in a 4' x 2' space.

Its white spectrum is ideally suited for keeping the controlled temperatures required by the plants' leaves. What's more, it additionally has 660nm of red light LED, 3000K and 5000K of white LED, and IR LED.

The item is intended to have larger heat sinks so that heat does not accumulate within its overall design. Additionally, it's  water-resistant, adaptable, and guaranteed to give you uniform coverage in your flowering coverage region.

If you require a single light, zero-commotion, and low-power-consumption item that can produce incredible light and better returns, ViparSpectra's P2000 is the ideal item for you.

Mars Hydro SP3000

Mars Hydro is one of the most famous and sought-after brands in regards to LED grow lights. The SP3000, quite possibly their most noticeable choice, is a LED grow light that is intended for the development of indoor plants. Made with die-cast aluminum, you can expect that these items will endure longer than the LED lights you are currently utilizing.

The Mars Hydro SP3000 is outfitted with strong Samsung 301B with OSRAM chips for a more compelling and natural penetration all through the plant. Its light result won't simply arrive at the outer layer of the plant's canopy!

Similar to more modest models, the SP3000 accompanies a MeanWell driver with a multi-chain dimmable feature reasonable for interfacing up to 15 lights. The SP3000 is quiet, waterproof to IP65 guidelines, and has an additional thick heat sink.

It is a Chinese-made installation and accompanies a 3-year restricted warranty.

Green Sunshine ES300

The Green Sunshine Electric Sky ES300 is a top-of-the line grow light that is ideally suited for a 2x4-foot grow tent. This is a strong grow light with a custom-designed spectrum. For that, you'll pay a premium. In any case, it's worth the effort.

This item has the perfect standard output compared with other light sources you might track down. With its power, obviously, it has two times as much power as a HPS grow light, ensuring the reserve funds you'll get from your electricity bills.

For grow lights that mostly need 330 watts, you can get an awfully high light power. Furthermore, on the off chance that you don't need that kind of light output, the item is likewise furnished with a dimming kit that can assist you with changing the full spectrum of the light output!

Ending Note

Understanding grow light science is the key to picking the fittest and best LED grow light for you. Nonetheless, every one of the elements of these grow lights won't be sufficient to decide whether they are the most customized product for you.

Getting the best LED light for a 4×2 grow tent can be intense, testing, and tedious. With this aid, you will not need to manage the pressure or the wide application of LED grow lights any longer.

In this way, as we were examining the ideal fit for 2X4 tent measuring, we just incorporated the smartest choices for the equivalent. At present, it's totally your decision whether to adopt one of our ideas.

[othernaut]

Potato thoughts.

So there I was, making an admittedly lazy and low-effort dinner, when I was (as I so often regretfully am) reminded that I am an absurd human animal and this thing that I am doing, that I consider functional and everyday, is in fact batshit insane.

Not the cooking itself (admittedly also batshit, but for more pedestrian, i-am-bad-at-life-skills reasons), but the sheer variety involved in what I consider a lazy and low-effort meal. First, the base matter: Potatoes, onions, and chicken wieners. Two root vegetables, one animal. Okay. Then, the lubrication: a mix of sunflower and sesame oils. All right, seeds added; a common omnivore dietary supplement. Then, the flavorings: Garlic (still a root), chili paste (wait, that pepper that wants to harm you?), 1/4th of a beef stock cube (a boiled, powderized entire other animal), salt and pepper (seeds and minerals!) and ketchup (the fruit of another plant that wants to harm you, a grain alcohol fermentation byproduct, and whatever taxonomic hell white sugar is).

Even for an omnivorous species, like, what the hell is this?

Most other animals on Earth specialize into a dietary niche and ride that single diet off into the sunset. Where variety appears, it’s opportunistic and frequently involves insects, which human omnivores paradoxially avoid. It’s rare as hell to find an omnivore with a 50/50 plant/animal diet (i can only recall the maned wolf right now), and even in other opportunistic omnivores, there’s one thing that forms the base of their diet, and everything else is just sort of consumed when you find it. No other creature goes so out of its way to invade and exploit other niches. No other creature looks at the bright red mouth-pain bush and thinks, “How do I extract nutrition from this?”

And because I’m in a lazy potato mindset, I feel like extrapolating this to the rest of the universe. What if this weird mega-omnivorousness isn’t just bizarre for Earth, but bizarre for everywhere? What if most of the other life in the galaxy works like the life on Earth - one staple foodstuff, opportunistic scrounging if it’s available, but primarily a single thing?

What happens if we meet?

Imagine a future where everything goes right. Humans travel to the stars, meet our neighbors, and we get along. Imagine three human drifters kicking around a space station, looking for work, and imagine they get picked up as crewmen on a passing freighter staffed by accommodating aliens who’ve never seen a human before. Imagine being the alien quartermaster, trying to update the manifest with whatever the Human Food turns out to be. Imagine them asking these humans what they want to eat.

One guy’s been surviving off of ramen noodles for the last few weeks while waiting for work to pick up, and, like, he’s alive, he’s been taking a multivitamin, but he’s been seriously considering engaging in space piracy if the result was a good paella. One person keeps wanting to eat better, but they’re half a year away from home and have absolutely no self-control yet: the Spacey’s down at Dock 9 just demoed a pulled pork poutine that they’ve been eating like three nights a week, and the only thing they can actually cook for themselves is lasagna. One girl is lactose and gluten intolerant and has been kept going via fried mushroom-and-onion omelets and unagi rice, but she’s got an ersatz homebrew setup in her room, one’s just at the start of its fermentation cycle, and she’s got all the materials for fish sauce and doesn’t want to just abandon it.

Meanwhile, the alien quartermaster eats food. Like, there’s a grub, named “food”, that every member of their species eats, sometimes with a green broth for supplementary calcium and copper. They’ve never had opinions about food, never wondered if they liked eating food, they just ate it. There’s 38 crates of food grubs flash-frozen just before pupation in the hold. They don’t know what kind of grub a “ramen” is or why this human is angry at it. They don’t know why you would intentionally create and consume flavored medical cleaner. They have passed by Spacey’s once, and it scared them.

After looking up what a “pursuit predator” is, the quartermaster sources 30 live salmon and releases them into their ship’s water system. The humans neither pursue nor predate upon them. The humans display qualities of omnivores, exclusive carnivores, detritivores, granivores, fructivores and more, sometimes all at once, sometimes fluctuating day by day. In frustration, the quartermaster orders 50 pounds of “pulled pork poutine” from Spacey’s; one of the humans eats it exclusively, which causes them to vomit, after which they continue eating the poutine. Two of them try the food-grubs; one human declares them inedible, and the other says it’d be fine with some soy sauce.

The stars are wild and wide. There is such variety in the universe, and the humans apparently want to eat all of it.

[tumblunni]

Today’s pointless fun fact about Bunni! I’m 74 inches tall and apparantly I attract coincidences like flies

You see, I havent ever measured my height since I was in high school, and I’ve just been saying ‘i think i remember it was something like 5′7″‘ cos 74 is my favourite number and I know I’m not 4 foot. But I just had the random impulse to measure myself with a tape measure and apparantly i’m literally 74 inches OKAY WTF Also apparantly in feet that means I’m 6′1″??? EXCUSE ME tfw u accidentally tall

I mean seriously ive never measured my height in like ever, i had no idea! It was like when i was 15 that some random doctor measured it last and i couldnt remember it cos it was never important to me. I always assumed my estimate of 5′7″ was taller than I actually am, I’ve always considered myself completely average height. I knew I was taller than all of my high school friends but i just thought they were short, lol! I mean, i suppose since a lot of them were cis men then I should have realized I was tall by cis woman standards. *shrug* But there were always people my age who were way taller than me so I never considered myself tall. I guess I was like ‘if im not THE TALLEST then I cant be tall at all’. I am medium tall! Yay! I am taller than average but not super tall! Thats good, i wouldnt wanna aim for anything higher cos I dont wanna draw any more attention to myself than I already do with my appearance, lol. Not that you can choose how tall you are tho, i mean it sucks that you can just be born looking ‘weird’ in some way and you have no way to change that. I dunno why height is even classed as a ‘weird’ thing, and stuff like having glasses is ‘weird’ and just... wtf they dont affect anyone why is it a big deal. But still I’m weirdly cheered up to know I was wrong about something, I guess? Even though I didnt want to be tall?? Its just an interesting surprise to know something I assumed for ages was actually wrong and all I had to do was check. Opens my mind to think that maybe other things I think are unchangeable are perhaps not, yknow? As a depressed person I think thats a good thing to remember. I guess I’m lucky I’m a weirdo who gets easily impressed by really random things, its the best remedy for anxiety disorders XD

Anyway im a bit hyperactive and also tired so this post probably makes no sense aaaa ive had too much sugar and pizza and they had this new meatballs soup thing at dominos too??? ive eaten way too much i think im gonna puke but also I’m ENERGY OVERDOSE AAAAA bunni should not be allowed to order pizza! but like let me waste my money on a good meal once a month yo also it was my friend’s birthday earlier this week and I was SO HAPPY that i was able to afford a £40 present for like.. the first year ever! hope that makes up for me being one day late cos of my shitty sense of telling the time omg ITS BEEN A REALLY GOOD WEEK i really love and appreciate my friends and apparantly I’m tall I’m so confused by life right now how can i be tall i thought all my body mass was wasted on becoming fat instead Lol no wonder everyone stares at me in the street if I’m both tall AND fat. and like.. i have blue hair. this actually makes me feel better now, they aint judging me I’m just a natural attention-hog and i cant control it. I FEEL BAD FOR THAT THO! I should try harder to be boring but i did that thru all of high school and i was really looking forward to dyeing my hair aaaa why am i getting sad now man im drunk on pizza WHEN U DONT EAT TH PIZZA OFTEN TH PIZZA IS REALLY TH GOOD also i dont get enough sleepe have a gud day everrybody i think im gonna take a pizza nap even tho its like midday

[elodieunderglass]

Hello! I live in Australia and have a very much not native lawn, I would like to remove the species living there and replace it with a native grass that will be a better ecological fit for my area. Any idea about how I'd do this without destroying any topsoil or disturbing healthy ground?

thank you so much for asking!!

I have to say it would be preferable to ask an indigenous Australian person how to manage that specific combination of native plants and colonised land, rather than an American living in Europe who is never planning to visit Australia. It isn’t my ground; I’m no authority; you genuinely know it better than I do. If “returning land to native” is important to you, I’d advise you to base this intention in connecting with what is native. (This doesn’t mean “demand answers of a person of indigenous heritage” unless you have a relationship like that already, but it’s more like: I’m sure this knowledge exists somewhere, and even if it doesn’t, then your plantcraft has at least started with a quest.)

In broad brushstrokes, though: good on you for not being like “hee hee hoo hooo, dig up the lawn!” GOD I hate that. “I’m going to rip out and throw away established biomass and soil so I can buy a random selection of new stuff and terraform! grass bad! soil is meaningless to me, I’m very eco actually, this is the eco thing to do” <- that’s what people sound like, it sounds bad.

I immediately heard you out and wanted to hand you a little cake and say: “I am so glad you asked me about no-dig gardening. Thank you.” But first, being conscious of plantcraft as a land-related discipline, I went away to do a little research into No-Dig gardening for Australia, to see if the whole system works there. Because assuming that Australia works the same way as British allotments is part of this whole mess. “Here’s a cute thing they practice in one part of the world, so you should totally plaster it all over YOUR land” is advice for terraforming and colonisation! Probably won’t even work! Nobody learns anything from this!

Anyway it looks like some of the principles of no-dig gardening actually originated in Australia! This is so exciting. I didn’t know this, I had totally bought into Charles Dowding emerging fully-formed as a sort of archetypal English uncle, earnestly covering the damp green universal grass of England with unlimited cardboard, all very green and pleasant. But no-dig works in Australia! What a big world we live in.

I found this link which takes an Australian-specific viewpoint of no-dig cultivation, linking to other sources and Australians who practice this, and discussing how it works on some invasive grasses you guys face. The idea of no-dig gardening is to replace something like a lawn with something else, repairing and augmenting the soil in the process. First, you exclude light from the base with a biodegradable barrier: brown cardboard. You crawl around unfolding IKEA boxes all over the lawn. Then you alternate whatever biomass you have: compost, kitchen scraps, wood chips, newspaper, herbivore shit (Australians apparently favour sheep poo) lawn clippings, finely minced tree trimmings, small amounts of clean sand, idk what you have. The last topping is compost, into which you plant what you want. Over time, the lawn is cycled into nutrients, its ecosystems and microorganisms continue, the root structure remains in the soil, the cardboard breaks down, and the treated area becomes new integrated soil.

Now, this is a recipe for turning a lawn into, ideally, raised-bed vegetable gardening. It doesn’t replicate the balance of acidity or structure of native soil. It makes everything into rich, ph-balanced gardening soil teeming with earthworms, that in its intensity and richness generates enough biomass to feed a human. Not every plant will want what you’re offering here. (Moss, for example, would hate this. Moss wants acidic, quiet, rather poor soil with trees and rocks to be its friends, and actually, if you’re offering, moss would really like to be growing on the trees.) so, plenty of plants that are native to arid or acidic habitats will be deeply confused by this. They just did not evolve to grow in chocolate cake. But it looks like there’s enough Australian no-dig advice out there to pivot the starting point I can offer to the endpoint you want.

Anyway that’s one way to turn unwanted groundcover into soil! Thank you for asking! Good luck 👍

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

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Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[notchesandbullets]

She’s Mine (Protective!Bakugou x Punk!Tattooed!Reader) feat. Erasermic

Warnings: racism, implied homophobia (not by anyone in the main cast), sexism, discrimination/discriminatory behavior, Modern!AU, Aged-Up!AU, features Bakugou’s parents, Erasermic, Kota, Eri, Mahoro, Katsuma and all of Class A defending you when insults start to fly.

Synopsis: This is not the first time you’re seeing Bakugou’s family but it is the first time you’re meeting his grandmother, who is not the best company to be around. He comes to your defense after you stand up for yourself and he had no qualms about sticking his face in the old hag’s because he’d be damned if he lets anyone talk to you like that. You’re his.

Words: 3.2k

“Y/N’s here!!!” Mitsuki called over her shoulder as she threw the front door wide open before you could even ring the doorbell.

Her son had texted her that you two were on their way and she was eager to see you. With the job and your relationship with her son, you two were busy bees and didn’t come around as often anymore. 

Which is why she insisted that her stubborn son at least come around for his birthday since it only happened one day out of the year. Then he could continue doing whatever it was that he was doing. 

Luckily, you were on her side and helped convince him to go just this once.

You laughed at the pitter-patter of tiny feet scampering across the cherry hardwood before dropping everything to catch the little kid that tunneled into your legs. 

“Y/N!!! You’re back!!!”

Eri’s ruby red eyes sparkled with joy as she clung to your legs.

“I missed you!!!” She shouted excitedly, hugging your knees tight.

You giggled, resting a hand on top of her head. “I missed you too, munchkin.”

Bakugou snorted behind you and you were reminded of his presence. “Oi, brat. Are you going to let us in or what?”

Eri stuck her tongue out at him childishly before dashing back inside, a trick she learned from her big brother Izuku, doubling back to grab your hand and hauled you inside with her. You casted a glance over your shoulder at your boyfriend but he shrugged, giving you the go-ahead.

He would catch up to you two troublemakers later. Besides, he knew you would want to see all the kids first. 

Kota, an orphan whose extended family gave him up for adoption, along with the siblings, Mahoro and Katsuma, were all under Aizawa’s guardianship.

After he adopted Eri, it sort of just snowballed until he was in too deep. He told Mic repeatedly that it wasn’t his fault that he had a soft spot for orphans.

His husband had merely shook his head with a laugh and hoisted Katsuma up higher so that he could reach the cupcakes they were going to sneak behind his back before dinner.

Mitsuki closed the door behind him as her son kicked off his shoes. 

“She gets that from me.” She said proudly as she gazed lovingly at Eri. She loved having her around the house. 

Since Aizawa and Mic lived relatively close, they came over often since she was feeling rather lonely with an empty nest.

Bakugou snorted. “Yeah, no shit.”

His mother glared at him for his language but didn’t reprimand him like she normally would and his eyes turned into hateful slits.

“Don’t tell me—” He started, gritting his teeth.

“They’re here.” She said with a heavy sigh.

Bakugou cursed vehemently under his breath, his brow furrowing deeply as he fought to control himself. He was banking on them not making an appearance today. 

His grandparents on his dad’s side, though he adored his grandad and thought the world of him, he absolutely could not stand his grandmother. 

She was racist, sexist, had limited views on literally everything and would raise hell if she didn’t get her way and she was a huge pain in his ass.

Even his own mother couldn’t stand her and that was saying something because she tolerated everyone to some degree, despite her odd love language when it came to him. 

They were both shit at communicating but it had gotten better as he got older. 

Now, the worst things that happened were spats here and there when they disagreed but his mother was usually good about backing off if she felt he could make the right decision for himself, which wasn’t often but it was better than none. 

Bakugou strolled inside and his eyes softened for a second when he saw you playing with Mahoro, Kota sitting on your lap as Eri was climbing all over Midoriya. You four were currently playing Monopoly and Eri exclaiming in shock as she realized she was losing since the devious Kota was slowly claiming more and more property.

“Haha!!” He cackled, rubbing his hands together evilly. “You landed on the purple one!!”

“No fair!!” Eri protested. “I don’t have enough money!!!”

“Too bad!!”

“Deku-niichan.” Eri cried, her eyes watering and you nearly fell over laughing as he frantically tried to get her to stop crying. 

The rest of his old class from college was already here, as per his mother’s request and Kirishima’s invitation.

Shinsou, Tsuyu, Todoroki and Iida were all near the food, the previous class rep serving drinks even though it wasn’t his job to play host. 

Tokoyami was currently engaged in a conversation with his dad and as Bakugou spun around the room, he realized every last one of his old classmates had shown up.

It was fucking crowded in his house. 

But the spark of joy he felt diminished the instant he saw his grandmother and he scowled, straying to your side almost protectively as her eyes burned into his back. 

This. 

This was why he didn’t fucking want her here. He didn’t want her to rain judgement upon the person who had won over his heart.

No way in hell.

Look, you weren’t fragile by any means. Your heart was filled with a healthy amount of self-esteem and you had built up your walls to protect yourself against people who had something to say about your many tattoos or piercings, yet you still were the kindest soul he had ever met. 

It was in the way you walked and interacted with people, a genuine smile always present on your features as you gave them more respect than most would give you upon first glance.

Bakugou knew you could handle yourself but you shouldn’t have to with his own fucking relatives. That shit was messed up. 

You glanced at your boyfriend out of the corner of your eye and your gaze dropped down to where his hands were clenched into fists, jaw locked tight and you sigh, softly urging Kota to get up and continue playing with Mahoro and Katsuma until you got back.

The boy grumbled but did as you asked, easily getting swept up in the competition of the game as you drifted to Bakugou’s side.

“I know that look,” You murmured into his ear, your hand covering his as you ignored the idle chatter coming from your friends and family around you. “What’s wrong?”

Bakugou clenched his teeth and debated about it for a second.

“Nothing.” He spat out eventually, choosing to deal with the old hag himself and you let him go when he stomped off, knowing that Kirishima or Kaminari would handle whatever it was that just happened if he didn’t want to talk to you about it. 

Momo greeted you warmly and a smile slipped onto your face as though it had never left. 

You hadn’t bothered to dress all that nice or different from your usual getup, feeling more comfortable in leather and all black that looked like you just came from a rock concert but you got the feeling that not everyone was feeling it as much as Jirou was when she came over to compliment you on your fashion taste.

Shoji and Koda each greeted you respectively and before you knew it, the catered dinner arrived and it was finally time to eat. The judging look you had been aware of from someone you didn’t recognize passing by as you brushed it off as unimportant and focused on helping Mitsuki set the table. 

You clapped your hands gleefully when Eri pitched in to help, complimenting her on how well of a job she did as she finished and you beamed at her when she smiled up at you.

Of course, Aizawa needed to help her since he didn’t want her to stand on a chair and lose her balance but it was easy enough to lift her up. She wasn’t that big yet. 

He had already told Mic he was dreading the day when she would grow up and have to leave home to start her own life and his husband patted him on the back sympathetically, reassuring him that it wouldn’t be the end of the world. 

They loved their children and their children absolutely adored them. 

You had told them as such on more than one occasion since they got insecure that they weren’t adequate parents but you reassured them that they were perfectly imperfect.

They put their kids’ health, safety and happiness before everything else and did everything they could for them. 

You wished your own parents had done that for you. 

As soon as you set down the place settings for everyone and called everyone in for dinner, they flooded the huge dining table that overflowed into the living area to accommodate everyone. 

Bakugou had left for a second to grab something from his old bedroom, promising to be back right away and you reassured him that you would be fine. 

You were barely into helping Mic convince a stubborn Kota to take a spoonful of green beans onto his plate, Shinsou helping Aizawa with Mahoro’s vegetable serving, when a throat cleared itself loudly.

The lively chatter died all around the table died down as grey eyes pierced your own and you stiffened but held your ground. 

You knew that look, you had seen it too many times. 

The older woman opened her mouth and spoke.

“So, you’re my grandson’s girlfriend?” She enunciated, looking you up and down from where she was sitting at the head of the table, her hands setting down her knitting project to glare at you. “I don’t see why he’s dating you.”

The expressions of shock at her vulgar words made several of your friends angry in your defense, Iida and Todoroki trembling in anger and Mina’s eyes narrowed as she dropped her happy-go-lucky personality in favor of ripping her a new one. 

But before any of them could act, she was continuing evenly.

“For someone who doesn’t know how to dress properly and looks like that, I mean, it’s already bad enough that your skin is that color, my dear, and you’ve ruined it even further with those ugly things.” She spat, unaware of the wrath she was evoking from every single person in the room. 

Kaminari’s electric eyes glowed as he saw red. “Bad enough?” 

“Excuse me?” Shoji seethed with unparalleled anger rising up in his chest, a rare sight for the normally calm and collected man.

Jirou, Ochako and Momo were furious at the way she was talking down to you and they shared a look amongst themselves, communicating wordlessly that this wasn’t going to be allowed to get out of hand any longer.

Kirishima was visibly shaking and even the normally shy Koda was fuming in his seat, openly glaring at the elderly woman who spewed insults at you. 

A chair scraped back as Midoriya shot up but you shook your head, holding your finger up to your lips as you subtly gestured for everyone to hold back. 

Aizawa’s nostrils flared from where he was covering Eri’s ears while several of his former students took care of the rest of the kids to make sure they wouldn’t hear this.

To their horror, the grandmother wasn’t even close to being done as she pointed a gnarly finger at you.

“Your job as a girl is to stay in the kitchen and attend to your husband. To even think you’re worth anything if you weren’t involved with my grandson is absurd.” She hissed at you venously, her skewed ideals rooted deeply in her beliefs and how she was raised. “You are a disgrace to even breathe the same air as someone like me.”

“Mother!!”

Bakugou’s father frantically tried to amend what had been done and Mitsuki was about to yell at her but you stopped her. 

Everyone’s eyes turned on you as you took a deep breath. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, but I won’t apologize for being who I am.” You said quietly but firmly, failing to notice someone coming down the stairs and overhearing your steady words as they flowed from your lips like honey. 

Not tricks. Just genuine sympathy, like you didn’t even hear her say all those horrible things to you. 

It was supposed to be your boyfriend’s day and you weren’t going to ruin it for him in the same manner that she had just done. 

“I understand what you’re saying, but don’t you think that we should be allowed to love who we love?” 

You inclined your head slightly, allowing a sliver of the emotion you felt to slip onto your face as you glanced pointedly as Aizawa and Mic.

After you noticed her staring so openly at you, you also noticed that she would scowl whenever the two men would walk in the room and play with their kids and while you would take whatever she was going to throw at you, you weren’t going to tolerate the same for them.

They didn’t deserve that.

Holding up your arm, you inspected the ink running up and down the length of it. “As for my appearance, my style is my own. I don’t recall asking for your opinion.”

There were a couple of snickers from Jirou, Kaminari, Sero and Mineta as you put her in his place and Todoroki leaned back in his seat, gazing up at you proudly as you stood your ground without firing any hate back at the old woman. 

Hagakure clapped her hands jubilantly as a few cheers of agreement sounded around from the table but you had one more thing to say. 

Your eyes softened. “I understand how you may feel about me, but I don’t need your acceptance. I love myself just as I am and if Katsuki ever feels differently about me and we split, then we’ll split. But please do not judge my love for him based on how you believe I should be. I am who I am and I won’t ever apologize for that.”

“And you never fucking have to.”

Bakugou strolled into the dining area, smirking at the old hag who had the nerve to look shocked at his appearance. Of course she would be so fucking disgusting to say something this horrible to you when he wasn’t within earshot. 

Bitch. 

Blood relations didn’t excuse behavior. 

Narrowing his vermilion eyes at his grandmother, he faced her head on as he took your hand into his. 

“She’s my fucking girlfriend.” He declared, tenacity and stubbornness dripping off of his tone as he snarled at his grandmother. “And if you ever speak to her like that again—”

He nodded in time to Mic and Aizawa, the men who had mentored him and taught him almost everything he knew. 

“Or either of them, including the rest of these shitheads, I’ll fucking kill you.”

The veiled threat hung in the air and you squeaked as Bakugou abruptly dragged you to the front door.

“Where are you going?!” Mitsuki cried out, worried that you both were going to leave without eating anything and she was sad to think that her mother-in-law had driven you away.

Bakugou gnashed his teeth at the confused clamour that arose from his classmates. “Out!! We’ll be back later!!”

You could hardly get a word in edgewise as he dragged you all the way out to the car after barely giving you enough time to put on your shoes.

“Katsuki!! What—”

Your bewildered protests were interrupted as he whirled around and kissed you hard. You melted into his touch as his hot palms settled on your hips, pulling you flush against him. Whining softly when he pulled away, you panted as he breathed hard against you, his exhales fanning out over your face.

You were in a daze as he led you to the car, buckling you in before he got in the driver’s seat. 

And he drove, taking a detour that would take him towards the countryside where there were no people, no places, just you and him. 

Just how he liked it. 

The painted lavenders and pale pinks of the setting sun faded to midnight black with stars twinkling high above you as you cruised around for hours before he finally spoke. 

“I’m sorry.” He apologized quietly and you immediately grabbed his hand that wasn’t currently occupied with steering.

“No!! You don’t have anything to apologize for—”

“Yes I do.”

His grip tightened on the steering wheel a fraction as he slowly explained that if he had told you earlier about what she was capable of instead of ranting to his best friend like an idiot, maybe he could’ve—

“Katuski.”

Your soft murmur brought him back down to planet Earth and you shook your head firmly. 

“It’s not your fault.” You told him without wavering once as he brought the car to a stop just at the edge of the trail. “I don’t blame you at all.”

Bakugou slammed his hand against the steering wheel angrily. “Yes it fucking is!!!”

He ranted and he ranted about how he had come downstairs only to hear his own flesh and blood spitting those vile insults that you didn’t deserve at all. 

You didn’t deserve it at all.

You were quiet when he finished and when his chest was heaving with the spent rage he had aired out, you asked, “Feel better?”

“Like hell I do!!!” He snapped at you, about to go off again when he noticed the bemused expression on your face. “What the fuck, dumbass?”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Huh?”

“Why the hell aren’t you bothered at all?” He questioned, genuinely flabbergasted. 

Eyes clearing in understanding, you traced the back of his hand with your fingers. “Because it doesn’t bother me.”

At the sight of Bakugou opening his mouth, you hurried out, “I mean, do you really think someone like that gets to cut me down? Her words don’t mean anything to me.”

You hesitated and opened yourself a little bit, trusting him not to take advantage of your weakness because while her words stung in the moment, it was nothing your heart couldn’t come back from. But…

“If you were to say them, it would hurt a lot more, but I don’t think you would— eep!!”

You yelped as he dragged you over to his seat, yanking at the seatbelt that got in the way, but pulled you to his chest once he released the safety clip.

“Never.” He breathed against your hair, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. “I would fucking never.”

You closed your eyes. “I know.”

There, in his car, you two stayed in a tight embrace under the stars until you it got late enough that you insisted you should go back and at least spend the rest of the time with your friends, which, if their sleeping schedules hadn’t changed since college, there was a good chance almost all of them would still be up.

So Bakugou drove you both back, his heart a little more at ease after he got to hold you close and be alone with you. 

That was all he wanted.

Well… He thought to himself as he unconsciously brushed his left hand over the small velvet box that had been hastily stuffed in his pocket the second he grabbed it from his room.

That and one other thing.

[sleephyjhs]

When You’re Expecting (Taehyung Headcanon)

pairing: taehyung x pregnant!reader

warnings: mention of fertility & pregnancy complications

note: i’ve been craving to write a bts x pregnancy series for a while so here we go !! if there’s a specific member you’d like to see next, shoot me an ask :)

m.list

FINDING OUT

even before finding out you were pregnant, you both had so much love for your child

there was nothing either of you could have wanted more than a baby

it was always at the forefront of your mind how much you wanted a little human of your own

it was approaching a year since you began trying seriously

a few false hopes and two miscarriages later, fertility drugs were looking to improve the chances of conceiving

the raging hormones which came with the drugs were all worth the positive test

early september - sickness had hung around your throat for days

headaches lasted longer than usual, and crying at the most mundane things had become an unwelcome habit

in the bathroom cabinet, you’d collected a small stockpile of electronic and stick pregnancy tests

one of them would eventually show positive, right?

taehyung sat on the bathroom tiles with you

waiting two minutes felt closer to waiting two months

he crossed his legs, bouncing his knees impatiently

your knees came to your chin; high hopes weighed heavily on your heart

the alarm set on his phone beeped quietly

your heartbeat rose suddenly to your throat

taehyung reached out for your hand as you turned to read the results

two blue lines - as clear as day

they became less clear as your eyes coated with thick, salty tears

he began to chuckle as his happiness trickled down his cheeks

“we did it baby! we’re gonna have a baby!” he whispered, choked up by his own anticipation

no words were left swirling in your mind

your jaw hung open as though the hinges were faulty

shakily, you lifted the electronic test to triple check

pregnant.

as you crashed into taehyung’s open arms, memories of the past loomed in your mind

it was only inevitable

a positive test was a familiar joy to you both

however this familiar joy had only ever been followed by crippling devastation

as much as you tried not to think about it, you couldn’t help but retain maternal caution

however, this time also felt different

taehyung’s spirit, your spirit - it was as though fate didn’t want to disappoint you any more

someone out there decided it was finally your time to grow a mini human to bring into the world

of course, no time was wasted in contacting the maternity clinic

seeing your baby on a screen was now a top priority

just to see their little head, maybe even hear their heartbeat

just to know they were okay

just to know you were keeping them cosy and safe, that’s all you needed

taehyung couldn’t hold his excitement

from leaving the house to reaching the hospital, his toothy grin never wiped from his cheeks

he never said anything at the time since his main focus was always on comforting you

but losing his babies near enough tore him apart

even when you tried to comfort him, taehyung restricted himself just to protect your wellbeing

of course, the worse had already crossed his mind

but it wouldn’t get the better of him

it couldn’t.

you soon learned you were already 6 weeks pregnant

the midwife had to point out where your little baby was hanging out; they were such a tiny thing after all

briefly, you took the opportunity to hear their heartbeat

it was faint over the machine, but fast

there really was a life within you.

“there’s something else, if you just look over here...” the midwife prompted, turning the monitor so you could grasp a better view

taehyung leaned slightly over your chest to peer closely at the smaller monochrome screen

with the mouse, she circled a second bean shaped figure

“the fertility drugs increase the chance of twins. looks like you guys got lucky!”

twins. you were having twins.

THE PREGNANCY

like with most pregnancies, you were advised to wait until the 12 week milestone to begin announcing your impending delivery

and even though he understood the importance of patience right now, taehyung could hardly contain his excitement

it didn’t help that a little bump had already begun to grow

keeping a secret was much more difficult when the evidence was near impossible to hide

already, taehyung spent early mornings talking to his little angels

telling them stories he seemingly made up on the spot

or even borrowing some from his own childhood

“you know they can’t hear you yet? it’s about 7 weeks until they’ll be able to, honey.”

“i know, i’m just practising for when they can.”

of course, you wouldn’t admit that you did the same when you were alone

you attended more midwife appointments than other expectant mothers might

the pair of you much preferred being on the safer side

in the car, when on a quieter, less congested road, taehyung often reached over to cradle your still-growing bump with a free hand

you slotted your fingertips between his for additional sappiness

“you two have so many people waiting for you here, hmm? many people are already so in love with you both. me and mummy included.”

on a sleepless night, you’d made a small pact with tae

it was a rash decision, but sincere nonetheless

“no matter what, they are always going to know how wanted they were. always.”

taehyung hardly needed reminding of this, but it was still a weight off your shoulders

as you tried to conceive, the pregnancy diet had already been implemented into your daily routines

however now that you were carrying two precious babies, there really would be no more ‘cheat’ days for you

no more extra half cups of coffee on slower mornings

although you usually took over the role of head chef in the house, taehyung dedicated extra effort into preparing you both healthy and yummy foods

sautéd rice with green vegetables and lean meat/tofu appeared to be his go-to

but you still opted to supervise just in case

finally being able to announce your pregnancy was another heavy weight lifted from your mind

the other members were over the moon for you both

particularly when they reminded themselves of the struggles you had experienced previously

and also remembering the utter devastation of their taehyung when he had to break it to them

all of them kept their eye out for little gifts and outfits

each week, taehyung came home with a new stack of pale rompers or neutral-tones teething toys

these babies would have the best uncles; at least that much you could be certain of

announcing your pregnancy on social media was a looming task, but one he was determined to pull off perfectly

for filler content between schedules, the members had been asked to film a 5 minute vlog of their daily life

well, what a perfect opportunity!

towards the end, taehyung made sure to include some shots of your now protruding bump overlaid with some more vintage camera settings

safe to say, that day you had broken the internet

love, congratulations and blessings poured in from every corner of the earth

a few comments complimenting how much pregnancy suited you touched you especially

self image is commonly effected by the progression of pregnancy, and you were no exception to that

although it was amazing how your body grew and made a little home for your tiny babies, it was still quite strange to see yourself changing so quickly

your favourite clothes didn’t fit around your doubled bump anymore

and your skin seemed to hate sharing nutrients with two extra people

but for the days where you struggled to love yourself, taehyung easily filled in the gaps for you

sneaking up behind you in the bathroom

(although the mirror kinda gave him away)

he’d wrap his arms around your just-moisturised bump and carefully rest his chin on your shoulder

“tell me all your worries honey.”

you gushed over how much you missed wearing your favourite jackets

and how strange it was to look at yourself in such a new and confusing way

“i know it’s normal, and i know i have to do it for them. but i guess it’s just weird - i don’t look like myself anymore”

he sighed and planted a kiss on a spot of bare skin

those small kisses still tickled you like they always had

“well, you definitely look different,”

you really hoped there was a second part to that sentence, mostly for tae’s own good

“but why does that have to be bad? not gonna lie, it actually kinda makes you hotter. maybe we should make babies more often!”

“make~?”

LABOUR AND DELIVERY

originally, you had wanted to try and stick to the natural route for as long as you could

but after a few contractions, that idea was immediately out of the window

to help steady yourself and wait out the pain, you held onto the kitchen island and swayed to your own pace

eventually, taehyung joined you

copying the same movements while timing your contractions

“they really must be desperate to come out, huh?”

“well do you think they could hurry it up a bit?!”

the pair of you had been prepared for this for over a month

the hospital bag was ready by the door with all of your essentials packed tightly inside

not forgetting the pots of instant ramen taehyung insisted he must bring in case of an emergency

just as he was readying to back out of the driveway, taehyung took a mental stock check of everything packed in the back

“do you think we have everything?”

“i love you but stop talking please.”

thankfully, he understood well that the sheer pain made you cranky

so long as he assured himself that it was ‘just the contractions’, he’d be just fine

as much as he couldn’t wait to announce he was about to become a father to everyone, he kept himself grounded when walking you to the maternity ward

one corridor in and you’d suggested that a wheelchair might be a better mode of transport

breathlessness and contractions didn’t sound like a favourable mix to you

the assessment of your fast dilation granted you an immediate spot in the labour ward

you’d picked this suite specially due to its expansive space

the option of a birthing pool was still available if you so needed it, but the mood lighting and access to aromatherapy was what attracted you to the room in the first place

a serene paradise for your angels to be born into

it was perfect

taehyung explored while you adjusted to your new surroundings

of course, it didn’t take him long to find the birthing ball

“what’s the difference between a yoga ball and a birthing ball?”

there obviously was none, but you took a few seconds to try and be smart with him

“well, sit on that and you might have a baby the size of a watermelon come out of you soon.”

taehyung cradled his torso and pulled a shocked expression, which was enough to make you giggle and cause another contraction

less than a few hours passed, and you had already attempted to scream the building down once or twice

“get these babies out of me. no i’m serious, i need them out.”

realising your deadpan expression, taehyung soon attended to you at the head of your bed

stroking your slightly sweaty head and patting a ice cold flannel on your clammy forehead

he braced himself for a crushing hand grip which came about sooner than he’d prepared for

you weren’t the biggest fan of commotion, and so being surrounded by nurses and doctors was close to being your worst nightmare

taehyung focused his voice into your ear, trying to minimise the tension coming from below your pelvis

his motivational words were broken up by short bursts of pushes

many of which were followed by a string of curse words which just slipped out

and then, there it was.

the first piercing cry belted across the room

a tear or two may have happened to slip from your eyes

finally the moment you’d waited for, nearly two years in the making, was here

the first of two, a little girl who already had a head full of the most luscious black hair

taehyung wanted to hold back his happy tears in order to show some kind of strength

but you and him both knew he’d never hold it back for long

within the space of 4 minutes, the second baby was born into the world.

but this time, there was no immediate cry

the whole world seemed to slow down in that moment as you waited

and waited

midwifes gathered around the new infant, looking for any kind of obstruction

but, soon enough, your son said his first hello to the world

[qianinterprises]

Summer '78

Pairing | bully!Jeno x chubby!Reader

Warning(s) | bullying, harsh words, cussing, sexual assault, name calling, fat shaming, poor shaming, face slapping, angst, hurtful comments, yelling, the Dreamies are not nice people (I know I did Jaemin wrong, I'm sorry)

Synopsis | Jeno was a bully, and you were his primary victim. Nothing should have changed, but Jeno began getting tired of bullying the girl he was in love with simply because she didn't conform to societies beauty standards. So she was chubby? So what?! His friends didn't see it that was.

Genre | ANGST, retro-flashback

Author’s Notes | So I wrote this a while back for an event of NCTA, which was basically writing a retro fic. This fic is very different than the fics I usually write. For one, it is told in Jeno's perspective rather than the readers. For two, this is a "chubby fic." Meaning the reader is seen in the fic as having a larger body weight, which, may I add here, is not a problem, nor should it ever be. If you are being bullied for anything, please don't let it go unreported. Report it as many times as you have to because bullying is not ok, whether it's done at school, at home, or anywhere else. Also, there is a possibility that there will be a part two, I have had some people (before posting it here) request a part two but I'm on the fence about that, but perhaps a part two will show some change and growth on Jeno's part. So we'll see. Tell me your opinions though! I hope you enjoy~

Word Count | 3.5k

Taglist | @treasuretaeil @hachanbaecon @nschitty

A group of six boys sat around a table talking and laughing until a loud crash resounded through the snack shack that brought their attention to a waitress on the floor, yellow heels scattered behind her, empty tray in her hands and spilled drinks everywhere as well as on a girl by the table the waitress had fallen at.

“Clutz,” one of the boys, Jeno, mumbled, shaking his head.

“Fatass,” Jeno’s best friend, Jaemin responded.

The other four muttered something along the lines of agreement as they watched the waitress cowering on the floor with a bright red face as the girl now covered in cola shrieked about her ruined clothing and hair.

Jaemin got up from his seat angrily.

“What the hell are you doing to my girlfriend!” he yelled, approaching the pair.

“Jaeminnie! She poured soda all over me!” the girl pouted, running into Jaemins arms.

Jeno rolled his eyes.

Jeno shook his head. Out of all of the boys in their biker gang, Jaemin just had to be the most gullible, falling for the Queen Bee of the high school who used him for nothing more than his money and face.

“She ruined my shirt,” Jeno heard the girl whine.

Jaemin embraced her tighter.

“You’ll have to pay for her clothing, fatty!” Jaemin demanded.

The waitress was someone Jeno recognized. (Y/F/N) (Y/L/N). She had been one of his best friends when he was a shy ten year old trying to fit in. They both befriended Jaemin and the rest of their group and somewhere along the way, he’d gotten muscular and tall while she’d gotten chubby. With Jeno’s looks, he’d always been popular with girls, but when he became interested in them as more than friends, he’d dumped the girl in favor of girlfriends.

She was a bullied girl wearing outdated clothing that made adequate grades. A nobody. She didn’t fit into any groups. She drifted through high school being shoved against lockers while her books were thrown across the hallway and what little lunch money she had was stolen. More often than not, Jeno or one of the other guys was the perpetrator.

“I can’t…” (y/n) muttered, looking down at the floor.

Jaemin kicked the carrying tray away from her, making the girl flinch.

Something in Jeno’s heart snapped against his chest, but he’d never allow it to escape. He watched tears gather in the corner of the girl's eyes and Jeno fought the urge to pull her to his chest.

Feelings began to stir their first year in high school when he and (y/n) had been seated side-by-side in homeroom and he’d leaned over to tease her about her recent, awkwardly styled hair when he’d met the most beautiful eyes he’d ever seen.

The feelings made his stomach twist in knots and his body tingled. Feelings and sensations that only grew stronger when their skin brushed or when her angelic voice met his ears.

The feelings were what drove him to brash treatment. His hands shoving her shoulders against the lockers as he demanded for her money. Fingers harshly tugging at the ends of her hair. His voice yelling horrible things at her just to hear her speak back.

He couldn’t tell anyone how he was feeling either. Dating the chubby girl would cause him to lose whatever popularity he had obtained along with his pride and his gang. Their leader couldn’t be seen as the weak punk who decided to date the chubby girl from a poor family.

Jaemin sneered down at the blushing girl, taunting her loudly and Jeno watched her feeble attempt at hiding her face.

“Jaemin! Let’s go. Chubby over here isn’t worth our time,” Jeno called loudly, voice filled with authority that had Jaemin immediately moving away from the girl.

“Fine. But she owes us free meals for a week! Those clothes were expensive!” Jaemin whined.

He kissed his girlfriend's cheek and walked to the door to wait on the rest of the gang who were stuffing their last few fries in their mouths or finishing off their milkshakes.

“Let’s roll,” Jaemin called, a grin on his face.

Jeno shook his head at how fast the male changed perspectives. He grabbed his leather jacket off the back of his chair, sliding his arms into it and let it snap against his back.

The last few members finished their plates, leaving them on the table before grabbing their own jackets and following Jaemin out the door. Jeno took the end, stopping by the waitress on the floor.

“Maybe get some heels your fat feet can walk in, huh Dollface?” he sneered.

Her face flew red again and he rolled his eyes.

“And you should stop blushing. You look like a tomato. Vegetables aren’t attractive. Although it’s fitting. Tomatoes are plump.”

He walked out the door without another word, heart hammering painfully in his ears. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but that was a problem. He couldn’t think chubby girls were beautiful. What would his friends think?

The loud purr of an engine met his ears and he sighed happily, most of his regret getting washed away, uprooted by the smell of motor oil and tires.

Jeno’s ride was a cherry red 1960 Harley-Davidson motorcycle with shiny silver wheels that didn’t match the rusted gas tank or muffler that Jeno was now saving to restore among other things. The black leather seat was slightly cracked from wear over the years and the breaks didn’t always work great. His headlight needed a new spark plug and the oil line leaked. Still, with all of these issues, he loved his bike. Each new issue gave him something to work on at night in his father's tiny little garage when all he wanted was grease on his chest and a wrench in his hand.

“Let’s go Jeno! I wanna ride!” Donghyuck moaned from his spot on his own bike, revving the engine with his right hand.

Jeno rolled his eyes at Donghyuck’s whining. Out of all of them, he was the one that loved traveling the most. They’d gone all the way up the coast the day they’d let Donghyuck lead them.

Jeno nodded and threw his leg over his bike, kicking the kick start lever and sighing happily as the bike roared to life beneath him. He pushed off his kickstand and allowed it to roll forward.

“Let’s go!” he called.

He rolled to the front of the group before revving the engine and turning onto the main road leaving the beachside snack shack behind.

~

When Jeno pulled into the driveway of his house, he parked his motorcycle beside his elder brother's black and gold Harley, letting the kickstand rest against the dirt driveway and dismounted..

He made his way into the house where his older brother, Jaehyun, was sitting alone in the living room flipping through channels.

Jeno’s heart hurt. All through the ride, he thought about (y/n) and the pained look in her eyes every time someone teased her. He knew it wasn’t right to bully her, especially for something as shallow as her weight or her clothes, but when the girls Jeno dated began mocking her, Jeno joined in, and pretty soon, she was alone. It hurt that Jeno could have stopped it. He could have kept her as a friend instead of ditching her, and now, here he was, hopelessly in love with the girl he bullied and too afraid to stand up to his friends out of fear that they would dump him.

“I have a problem,” he groaned, flopping down on the couch.

Jaehyun turned the small box television off and turned his attention to Jeno. Jeno rolled his head back on the plush green sofa and sighed.

“There’s this girl I like…” he started.

Jaehyun groaned in disinterest.

“So tell her. Not like you can’t get any girl. I heard you’re one of the kings of your class,” he replied.

Jeno whined. It was true. He could virtually have anyone he wanted, yet the one person he couldn’t have was the one he desired.

“I can’t. My friends wouldn’t approve and she’d never go for me… not after everything I’ve done,” he muttered hopelessly.

“Why do you care so much what your punk friends think? Do what you want, not what they want you to do.”

Jeno sighed. It wasn’t that easy and Jaehyun should know that.

“She’d never go out with me anyway and I can never tell her!” Jeno whined, hoping his brother would understand.

He was far too ashamed to come out and say exactly why she wouldn’t. “There’s girls that don’t like you?” Jaehyun asked, clearly shocked.

Jeno nodded sullenly.

“Just one…”

That seemed to make the links click in Jaehyun’s mind and Jeno wasn’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

“You don’t mean you like the poor girl you always bully, do you?”

So Jaehyun knew about that. No wonder his brother had grown distant since Jeno had started high school.

“Um… yes…” he mumbled.

Jaehyun shuffled around on the beige chair he was sitting on before one of his dirty socks was being chucked at Jeno’s head.

“Hey!” Jeno snapped.

“You don’t treat people like that! You and your friends are assholes! That poor girl won’t forgive you for what you’ve done to her!” Jaehyun yelled.

Jeno wanted to yell back, but he knew Jaehyun was right. He was an asshole.

“What do I do to get her to like me… I don’t know how to stop this mess…” he mumbled. Jaehyun groaned and grabbed the large remote, flipping the television back on.

“You make things right. Stop bullying the girl and apologize like you mean it. Even then, it may be too late,” Jaehyun answered before his attention was back into the heavy box television.

Jeno sighed. He knew his brother was right.

~

The next afternoon, Jeno pulled his motorcycle into the parking lot of the snack shack, parking alongside Jisungs rusting brown one he refused to let Jaemin or Jeno strip and repaint.

Jeno dismounted and walked into the shack. His friends were crowded around their usual table, talking loudly.

Jeno walked over to the table and slid into the booth beside Renjun.

“What’d I miss?” he asked.

Jaemin was cackling and fishing ice out of his soda glass.

“(y/n) is on our table today!” he smirked.

Jeno’s heart dropped. That meant they’d be extra cruel to her today and Jeno really couldn’t do anything to tell her or his friends how he felt. The universe must really hate him.

Jaemin got the ice out of his cola glass and held it in his palm, his faze shifting to where (y/n) was shuffling around in her red striped shirt and black pants, wearing those same yellow heels.

“What are you gonna-”

Jeno was cut off as Jaemin smirked and launched the ice cube across the table, getting enough air to fly across the room until it dived down into the low cut v-line of (y/n)’s striped shirt.

“Yes! 10 points!” Jaemin cheered loudly.

(y/n) squeaked at the sudden intrusion of ice, a sound that Jeno found oddly adorable, even if it wasn’t a good kind of squeak.

Her face flamed red and she hurried back to put her notepad down on the chef’s counter before moving back to their table.

“Can I get you guys anything else?” she asked, her voice having gone up an octave from embarrassment.

“I want a chocolate milkshake,” Renjun answered.

(y/n) jotted it down and moved to look at the rest.

“I want a burger that’s charred on one side, but not too charred. Don’t bring me burnt meat or I’ll make your fatass eat it,” Jaemin said.

Jeno sighed at his friend, shaking his head subtly.

“I want a burger with a dollop of ketchup and three pickles. Don’t you dare give me any more or less than three pickles,” Donghyuck ordered.

Jeno rolled his eyes. Donghyuck didn’t even like pickles.

She glanced at Jisung and Chenle, both who were contently sipping their cola’s and completely ignoring her existence, so, after scribbling down everyone else’s orders, she turned her eyes to Jeno.

“Coke with ten pieces of ice and a burger.”

(y/n) nodded, writing all of the information down and shuffled off to the counter again.

“Do we really have to be that mean to her? She looked like she was going to cry,” Renjun muttered.

Jaemin rolled his eyes.

Jeno nodded in agreement to Renjun. Her face was sullen and her eyes glistened with tears that hadn’t fallen. His heart sank at the thought that maybe something had happened at home or that their words had finally gotten to her. In all the time they’d been bullying her, she never once said anything much to them, and they’d never seen her cry.

“Do you think we should lay off her?” he suggested.

Donghyuck and Jaemin snorted at the same time.

“Why would we do that?” Donghyuck asked.

Jeno shook his head. His friends could be such assholes sometimes. They wouldn’t even stop for someone that seems to be almost crying, they just use it to play more games. More buttons to press.

“If you’re so worried, Jeno, go check on her,” Chenle challenged.

“Yeah, go check on her!” Jaemin cackled.

Jeno shook his head and sighed, getting out of the booth. He knew very well what they expected him to do, or at least, what they wanted him to do, but he didn’t know if he could take calling her names anymore. Not when it felt like his soul was screaming at him not to.

He didn’t have much of a choice as he made his way over to her, however. He couldn’t control what his friends wanted and what he was obligated to give.

He moved up behind her and while her back was turned, he brought his hand down hard on her butt as his friends cackled loudly from their table. Jeno’s ears burned in embarrassment and guilt. If his mother knew what he’d just done, she’d be dragging him out of the snack shack by his ear.

He didn’t really know what to expect from (y/n). What he didn’t expect however, was her body whirling around rapidly, her hand raising angrily, and the sharp stinging sensation across his cheek.

“YOU HAVE NO RIGHT! I HAVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU, AND YET ALL YOU ARE YOUR ASSHOLE BUDDIES WANNA DO IS BULLY ME! WELL PISS OFF! I DON’T NEED THIS!” she screamed.

Jeno’s eyes widened. This was new…

“YOU ARE A BUNCH OF PUNKASS BOYS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO, BUT I SWEAR THE NEXT TIME I HEAR A COMMENT ABOUT MY WEIGHT, CLOTHES, OR HAIR, OR ANYONE TOUCHEs ME, I WILL SHOVE MY FAT FOOT UP YOUR BUTTHOLE!” she screamed angrily.

The cackling from the table had stopped as the boys gaped at their waitress in shock.

“AND YOU IDIOTS CAN GET YOUR OWN DAMN BURGERS!”

The snack shack had gone deathly quiet. Jeno stood as still as a statue, face still stinging, but not quite as painful now. The outburst from this usually quiet and reserved girl shocked him to his very core, but it also made him feel worse. Sure, the ice throwing, name calling, and excessively stupid orders had added fuel to the fire, but it was Jeno’s action that had thrown her over the edge.

“I-I’m… sorry…” he stammered out.

“DON’T SAY SORRY TO ME AFTER THE HELL YOU’VE PUT ME THROUGH!” she screamed.

Jeno’s heart pounded in his chest and his eyes gazed at her fearfully.

“I think it’s time you go home, (y/n), calm down and come back tomorrow,” the owner of the snack shack said, walking out of his office.

(y/n) nodded and let out a sniffle. Jeno didn’t know when she’d started crying. She grabbed the bag the owner handed her before running out of the shack.

“And you, young man. You and your boys get out of my shack. You’re all banned for a week. Come back in here acting like that and you’ll be banned permanently,” he said, eyes fixed angrily on Jeno.

Jeno turned to look back at his gang and sighed, waving a hand for them all to follow.

~

After the incident, Jeno hadn’t felt much like going on a ride with the rest of the gang. They were all perfectly fine, cackling and talking about the outburst, but Jeno couldn’t stomach it. The way she’d screamed. How upset she’d looked. He was done being a bully. Now he just needed to figure out how to go from bully to courting her, if that were even possible.

He parked his bike beside Jaehyun’s again, happy to see his brother was home and not at the rusty body shop he worked at.

He ran into the house, taking the front steps two at a time, and when he was inside, he made his way to the room he shared with Jaehyun.

“I need to borrow your boombox!” he yelled at the male.

Jaehyun, clearly not expecting the sudden intrusion, jumped off the small bed, stuffing the adult rated magazine he’d been “reading” under his mattress. Jeno rolled his eyes. He didn’t have time to find ways to ruin Jaehyun’s relationship with his girlfriend or rat him out to their mother.

“I. need. Your. boom. Box!” he enunciated.

Jaehyun stared at him incredulously.

“Uh… Why?” he asked.

Jeno shook his head angrily and shoved past Jaehyun to siffle through his side of the room searching for the large, heavy, cassette playing boombox his brother had bought a month ago.

“I need it to fix my (y/n) situation!” Jeno explained as he searched.

Jaehyun groaned.

“Movies aren’t real! That won’t work!”

Jeno ignored him. The guy always showed up at the window of the girl he was hoping to impress and the girl always forgave him. It’d work. It had to.

Jeno grabbed the large boombox from beneath Jaehyun’s bed, groaning at the weight. He heard Jaehyun sigh.

“Good luck then.”

Jeno didn’t need it. This would work. It had to work.

~

The ride to (y/n)’s house had proven to be a bit difficult as he struggled to hold the boombox against him. The box was large and heavy, with a small cassette player at the top that already had his chosen tape resting inside it.

The trip over was one of many stops and repositionings in an attempt not to drop the box that could very well make everything alright. He could just imagine her grinning in glee and running down to meet him, forgiving him for everything he’d ever done to hurt her.

By the time he got to her house, dusk was falling. He had maybe ten minutes before darkness engulfed the sky. Ten minutes in which he’d be tasked with making everything better.

He moved around the side of the common two story house and found (y/n)’s window easily. She appeared to be dancing to the music playing from the vinyl record player he could almost see perched by the window. It brought a smile to his lips. She looked so happy and carefree.

He could watch her all night, but he was here for a reason. He had to apologize for everything he’d ever done and confess.

He found a rock likely from her driveway by her window in the grass and picked it up. It was only one so he had to make it count.

He pressed play on the cassette player portion of the boombox and ‘It’s sad to belong’ came flowing out melodically from the speakers.

”Met you on a springtime day,”

He threw the rock hard against her window, flinching as he heard the rock bounce off. He was surprised it hadn’t broken the window.

”You were mindin’ your life and I was mindin’ mine too. The window opened and Jeno’s heart hammered in his chest.

“(y/f/n) (y/l/n)! I am so in love with you it hurts. I am so sorry for everything I’ve ever done to hurt you! All the bullying. All the teasing. I’m so sorry. You’re not fat or ugly! You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen! I just couldn’t show it! But I don’t care what my friends think! I love you! I want to be with you! I want to court you! Please forgive me!” he pleaded, not giving the girl a chance to say anything.

When he finished speaking, the song was nearing an end and his body was shaking. The girl looked almost close to tears again and Jeno grew hopeful that in any second, she’d run downstairs and jump into his arms.

“Yes it’s sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along.”

“You love me huh? Well you have a funny way of showing it,” she sneered.

The window slammed shut and the drapes were immediately dropped, leaving Jeno alone in the darkness of the evening, his hopes dashed across the grass.

He’d waited too long to apologize.