𝒀𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒐 𝒀/𝑵 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏
Content warnings: sexy yandere i don't fucking know dude, the word "ravage" is used
One day you're walking down the street and you see a man with pink hair. You think, "ooh it'd be so sexy if he kidnapped me." So you approach him to seduce him into kidnapping you and holding you in a jail cellar or some shit. "Hey, handsome," you greet. "Wanna ravage me?"
He looks at you with, frightened green eyes. "Do not speak to me." He starts walking away from you quickly. You walk faster.
"Wait, mister," you needily plead. "I need you to do things to me!"
He uses King Crimson to skip time and suddenly he's gone. You successfully frightened a man that hasn't had an intimate relationship in 15 years. Hot.
18 notes
·
View notes
I haven't had the capacity to maintain much of a presence online for years, though I'd really like to..! 🦊
But, I've managed to live a little, at least. I have some pretty pictures from my most recent boyfriend visit to share ✨🦊💦
I graduated university two years and a bit ago now, and I think I was planning to post about it in some way, but it left me so crumpled I couldn't muster the will to do it until the season had long passed... Moving out and out again has heaped heavy on top of that, too...
Hopefully I can get around to posting the little things I've made and done, and scrape together the effort to make more, too 🦊💖
When I get that far, you'll be able to find me and my stuff on foxy.gay (in addition to here and twitter horpfully) (it's currently just a bsky redirect, but i love to make website :3)
5 notes
·
View notes
okay. i know it’s a very bad idea to seek mental health advice from the internet, especially tumblr of all places, but i have a genuine question about this.
actually, before i get too far, i guess i should add some context about myself:
i’m fairly talkative in a certain sense. i like talking. if i start talking about something i like, or if i get excited while talking, i can talk a lot. when i’m alone, i tend to talk to myself a lot. just verbalizing thoughts, mostly; talking myself through a strategy, just voicing my thoughts as i play through a video game, or sometimes just babbling as though i’m talking to someone else. this is a frequent thing and not the root of my concern.
course, sometimes i talk a little less in public or in certain social situations if i’m not “invited” to speak too (more than just being spoken to first, but that’s another explanation i don’t want to go into right now), but i’ve always been like that; something, something, i know it’s more about social anxiety or something that i know i inherited and is a different discussion for a different day.
so, every now and then i have these days where, for lack of a better description, talking feels like it takes too much energy. even that doesn’t feel like it explains it properly but. like the same struggle to get out of bed on a rough day. like somehow speaking, the act of opening my mouth and forcing words out of my throat, takes too many spoons. the same way it feels like taking a shower or brushing your teeth has too many steps despite it being a simple process when your depression’s acting up (we’ll get back to this comparison in a minute).
i can tell when these days come on before i even have to speak to someone; it feels like my words are stuck in my throat. i mean that physically; there’s not actually something in my throat, but there’s a weight of some sort.
i’ve taken to calling these days “quiet days,” since this feeling affects just about everything associated with talking; making myself talk is a struggle; i can’t even talk to myself and all those monologues and discussions happen inside my head instead, but i can’t verbalize them; i don’t want people to talk to me on these days, as in there’s a deliberate, subconscious feeling already there on those days, not that i’m not wanting to talk because of the other feelings; actively listening to and comprehending things people say is also an effort to do, and i tend to tune out my music or whatever background noise i set for myself more than usual; i’ve recently discovered that this same feeling is applied to singing, much to my dismay, because i found this out on a day i kinda wanted to sing.
it’s not that i can’t speak on these days, i can physically make myself if i have to, it just takes more conscious effort sometimes than something like speaking should.
now, i used to chalk this up to being standard nonverbal bouts. i’d heard those were common among neurodivergents, and while i’m not officially diagnosed with anything (classic “everyone does that”/“that’s just something you got from me” type childhood), a lot of symptoms for both ADHD and autism (that i’ve heard of/looked into) match up pretty sharply with me.
however, no accounts from actually autistic people that i’ve read who go nonverbal at times really match up with my experiences. for me, it’s never a response to stress, anxiety, or overstimulation; it’s just something that happens on any given day and sometimes ebbs and flows throughout the day (as in sometimes it’s easier in some parts of the day, but not others, without any particular cue), and it’s never me going absolutely nonverbal, just a preference not to speak from it feeling like it’s too much to do sometimes.
remember that comparison i made to having to speak on “quiet days” feeling like trying to do basic things on bad depression days? yeah, i noticed on a day it hit that it felt very much like that, because i did feel it earlier that day; i found trying to make myself sing or even talk to myself out loud somehow felt like a process with too many steps and i didn’t have enough energy, just like trying to get out of bed that morning (to the point that i didn’t “get up” until that afternoon).
so, all that text and explanation leads to my one question: are these bouts and “quiet days” more from “going nonverbal” as a “symptom” of autism, or simply a symptom of my depression? or can it be chalked up to anything else at all? i’ve never seen or read anything about this on either side, and if it’s something from my depression, then that’s gonna make me take it much more seriously than i have been in the past. or like, is it just me and not anything at all?
any advice appreciated 🙏
11 notes
·
View notes