#every time i see posts like “your friends love you” it makes me sink further and further into the void

[the-sea-speaks]

.

[sykostyles]

subject to change 1.1 (final)

w/c: 6.3k summary: in which Harry gets his head out of his ass and goes after y/n. but is he too late? part one

a/n: hi again! thank you all for the love on part one to this story! I can’t even begin to tell you how much it means to me! I hope you all enjoy this part just as much!

cw: PLEASE LOOK HERE BEFORE YOU READ! impact play, breath play if you squint, general rough sex, implied cheating (no actual cheating takes place), breeding kink, creampie, anal play (he puts his thumb in her ass lol), p in v, unprotected sex (wrap it up, besties) general manhandling. If I forgot anything pls let me know!

Harry did care. He cared a lot. But he knew you were angry and he let you go. It was the best option. At least that’s what he told himself. He would just live the rest of his life with this empty feeling in his chest. He’d live with the pain of constantly having to see your name when his customers would buy your books. He’d smile and continue to recommend your books to people looking for something ‘extra spicy’ as they’d put it. They’d always come back in a few days to get another one of your books.

He never did take your titles off of his Owner’s Picks shelf.

Sometimes Harry swore he could hear your giggles at the front of his store when he was helping a customer find something near the back. “Excuse me, just one second,” he’d mutter to the customer before hastily making his way up front to be met with nobody. He thought he was losing it. He knows he heard it. He wishes he’d heard it. He’d make his way back to the customer, breathing out some excuse and getting back to finding the book they were looking for.

You even haunted him in his dreams. He could feel the way your skin dipped and curved as he ran his hands over the sweat slicked skin. Feel the way your warm walls engulfed his length; sinking further and further under your spell. Hear the way you cried his honorific and begged him to let you cum; begged for more, Until the blaring of his alarm would snap him back to reality and he’d be left to take care of what dream you left behind.

It’d been six months of this constant brooding attitude he’d have whenever he thought of you. Harry hadn’t been able to sleep with anybody else. Just finding solace in fucking his fist, and wishing it was you. Oh but he tried though. A few women at the bar, or a pretty customer he thought looked like you. But they weren’t you, were they? He’d gotten drunk off of the way your body felt under his touch, and it’s like he’s been hungover ever since. Often he found himself looking at your social media, scrolling through all the pretty pictures you’d post. Pictures of your apartment, your cat, your family. Pictures with Chase? Who was Chase? Pictures with your friends. He’d take note of all the cities you’d been to since he saw you.

Oh, a new post.

You were apparently going to be about an hour away from him next week.

Interesting.

Every city you traveled to, there were more and more people waiting to meet you. You couldn’t believe it. Flattered doesn’t even begin to describe what you felt. So many stories of how you saved people's relationships after they read your books. Their sex lives with their partners had been so boring but after they’d read your books, they’d found new inspiration to spice things up. Every time someone told you a new story you were dumbfounded. Still finding it so hard to believe that anybody even found your books interesting, let alone liked them enough to take time out of their day to come and meet you and have you sign their book.

You’d tried to move on from Harry. A few casual hook ups, and a short term boyfriend, Chase, that lasted all of two and a half months. Said boyfriend looked at you like you had two heads when you asked him to choke you during sex so you weren’t sure why you thought it would last. 

You would find yourself daydreaming; frothing at the mouth thinking of all the dirty things Harry had done to you. You’d grip the front of your sink in the morning, head hanging near your chest while you thought about Harry’s cock splitting you open; his fingertips colliding with your cheek while he called you his dirty little slut, all while Chase was in the shower, a wave of guilt washing over you for imagining these things while your boyfriend was two feet away from you. Oh, how you wished you could experience those things again. 

You were right though, you’d gotten plenty of fuel for your next book. The follow up to Little Freak was scheduled to be released at the end of the year, just in time for holiday sales. Jenny was thrilled. You thought you would be. But you just felt empty. You always felt worse when you’d snap out of it, staring at yourself in the mirror with annoyance for yourself written all over your face.

“You look sick, babe. You alright?” Chase would ask, stepping out of the shower. “You look a little flushed,” The back of his hand coming in contact with your forehead. He was super sweet after all. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just warm in here from the steam,” you’d wave him off, pressing a kiss to his lips and offering him a smile.

Chase broke it off with you last week saying he couldn't give you what you wanted. You knew that, but didn't have the heart to break it to him first. He seemed a little fragile, if you know what I mean. So you pretended to be sad until he left your apartment and then you had a laugh before making a post announcing the next city for your signing tour.

Jenny booked you a hotel, even though the bookstore you were going to be at was only about an hour away. But riding back in the car for an hour sounded pretty awful so you didn’t put up a fight. 

The owner of this store was so excited for your event. She walked up and down the line thanking everyone for showing up, and reminded all of them of the snacks and refreshments she’d set out. She was a doll, continuously asking if you needed anything. Always giving you a smile and a “Just holler at me if you need anything, dear!”

About an hour in, a pair of eyes caught your attention. You’d know those eyes anywhere. He was about four people behind the person you were talking to. Standing there, book in hand with that sweet smile on his face. His eyes bore into yours. Your breath caught in your throat, your face turned pink and your hands immediately felt clammy. The person in front of you snaps you out of your trance and you direct your attention back to them, acting as if nothing happened. 

“This book literally brought life back to my relationship. We had no idea what we were missing out on!” She exclaimed, “My husband sends his thanks as well,” she giggles out.

“I’m so glad you guys enjoyed it. Hopefully you’ll like the next one too. Thank you so much for coming!” You hand the book back to her with a smile. She thanks you and is on her way. The next few people are the same. It never got old though; hearing how your books positively impacted others. Whether they found out they liked something they never heard of, or if it gave them the courage to spice up their love lives. 

Harry studied you as you interacted with your readers. How genuinely happy you looked to be talking to these people. The smile on your face that he’d only seen in his dreams over the last six months. The crinkle you got near your eyes when you laughed. That giggle. He was addicted. He needed to hear it every day. He’d do anything. That’s why he’s standing here right now in front of you with your book in his hand. 

“Hi,” he says softly.

“Hi,” you say back to him. “What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he hands the book over to you, a shit eating grin on his face.

“Cut the crap, Harry. What are you doing here?” taking the book, you scrawl your signature on the cover page.

“Can we talk?” he looks at you with pleading eyes. You glance up at him, holding the book back out to him. 

“I don’t know, Harry,” looking away, you fumble with the permanent marker between your fingers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Please, sweets. Just wanna talk,” He smiles down at you. Meeting his eyes again, your gaze hardens. There’s no way he just wants to talk. You’re not totally stupid, but you’ll humor him.

“Fine. Just to talk,” you wave your hand in the air, “Just wait in the seating area.”

He smiles at you again. “Thank you.”

Walking into your hotel room with Harry in tow, you wonder just how stupid you are. What are you doing? Is this smart? Probably not. Do you care? Also probably not.

“What are you actually doing here, Harry,” you ask, sitting on the end of the bed to take your shoes off.

“Would you believe me if I said I just wanted to see you?” his voice was quiet and smooth, nothing like it was in the bookstore earlier. He’s standing there with his hands in his pockets as he watches you.

“Not even a little bit,” you scoffed with a laugh, tossing your shoes to the side before leaning back on your hands.

“Well, it’s the truth.” His gaze remained unwavering. 

You were born at night, but not last night.

“You’re such a liar,” you laugh, “You’re going to stand there and tell me that you drove an hour just to see me?” 

“I missed you.” he breathes out. You just stare at him with widened eyes, and he stares right back. Emerald eyes, rather sunken and tired looking, just keep staring back at you.

“How dare you,” you stand from the edge of the bed, finger pointed into his chest. His eyes widen at your demeanor. “You don’t get to do that. You said this was a one time thing. You told me multiple times that it was a one time thing.” You continue walking towards him, him taking a step back with every forward step you take. “So, what exactly do you want, Harry? You came all the way here just to tell me you missed me? When was it you who put that rule in place?” His back hits your hotel room door. “Am i just a good fuck you can’t get out of your head or what?”

“N-no, you’re,” he pauses, “you’re everything. And I’m just an idiot who can’t talk about his feelings.”

“Please, you told me yourself that you don’t do ‘feelings’. So do me a favor and tell me what it is you really want.”

“I want you,” he says softly, looking at your lips. Not even an ounce of hesitation floods his system when he reaches out with both hands to cup your face, and finally presses his lips to yours for the first time. You gasp, but kiss him back anyways; Your hands finding a soft grip on his wrists. It’s everything. The way his soft lips perfectly mold with yours. All of the built up emotions he’d been shoving down the last half a year showed themselves in that kiss. He bore his soul to you in that kiss. His tongue swipes at your lower lip, but that’s when you pull away.

“No, Harry,” you rush out, “Y-you’re too late,” you pull his hands from your face, and start to turn away when he grabs ahold of your upper arm, spinning you back towards him.

“Oh, don’t give me that shit,” he bites out, tone no longer soft. “I saw the look on your face when you noticed I was there tonight.” 

“I-I have a boyfriend,” you lie, thinking you could use Chase as an escape route. Sure, he broke up with you about a week ago but Harry doesn’t need to know that. “You’re too late, Harry.” He studies you for a moment. The tremble in your upper lip from fighting off a grin. The telling glint in your eyes. The way you won’t look him in the eye.

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a terrible liar?” Both of his hands grip your arms as he slowly walks you backwards.

“I’m n-not lying. I have a boyfriend. His name is Chase.” You almost stumble over your own feet, but his grip on your arms keeps you standing. Ah, Chase.

“Right,” he mocks you, “and does ‘Chase’ make you tremble and break like I did?” He leans down near your ear. “Does he make you beg and cry for it like I did? Does he make you cum so hard you see stars like I did? Hm?” His warm breath tickles the skin of your throat. Harry sweeps your hair away from your neck before latching his teeth onto your pulse point, making you gasp. You feel your legs bump against the edge of the bed, your fists take hold of his sweater to keep you standing.

“Harry, I can’t,” you groan. You want to; more than anything, but you won’t give him the satisfaction. He grins against your skin, swiping his tongue over the bite mark he left behind. 

“Your body says otherwise, sweets,” he says, bringing his face to be level with yours, “Tell me to stop,” he slips a hand under your skirt, teasing his fingertips along your inner thigh. Your breath is caught in your throat. “C’mon, tell me to stop,” he plucks the hem of your underwear right near where you want him most. His lips finding your skin again; featherlight kisses being pressed up and down the column of your throat. You tilt your head back to give him more room.

“H-harry, please,” you whine, your hands reach up to grasp the nape of his neck.

“Please what?” he whispers against your throat, biting down again, eliciting a groan from your lips. 

“P-please, t-touch me.”

“Thought you said you had a boyfriend?” He grins, tilting your chin down to look into your eyes. The hand that’s been under your skirt takes hold of the front of your panties and pulls you forward, making you lose your footing and sending you backwards onto the bed. Harry presses one knee onto the mattress, fingers still holding your panties, as he leans over you.

“T-that’s su–subject to change,”  you try to pull him down by the nape of his neck to kiss him again, but he doesn’t budge, one arm anchored near your head.

Instead, with a flick of his wrist he’s pulling your panties down your legs. Bringing them up to eye level, he smirks at the wet patch evident on the front of them.

“Is it now?” His salacious eyes look at you from above. You nod in response, making Harry chuckle. “So, are you going to admit that you were lying to me?” He tosses your panties to the side before bracing his other arm on the other side of you.

You shake your head, a mischievous smile forming on your pouty lips. You run your hands under his sweater up his torso, relishing in the warm feeling under your fingertips. He never let you touch him last time, but he wasn’t about to stop you now. He’d die a happy man after knowing what your skin felt like against his. The way your body reacted to every little touch he offered. Sure, he felt you last time, but not like this.

“You’re just going to make it worse for yourself, sweets,” Harry grins down at you.

“Maybe that’s what I want,” your hands stop their exploration and cup the sides of his face, your thumbs rubbing over his cheekbones. “I do have a boyfriend, but he’s not you,” you whisper. Knowing that Chase isn’t your boyfriend anymore.

“Such a naughty girl,” He leans down to kiss you, your hold moving up and tangling in his curls. You moan into his mouth when you feel the tips of his fingers come in contact with your cunt; he takes the opportunity to shove his tongue into your mouth, exploring every nook and cranny he could find before he pulls away, chuckling at your blown out pupils. “Does Chase take care of you like I did?”

“N-no,” a whine leaves you at the loss of contact, “He won’t even choke me,” you pull him back down to your mouth, hooking your right leg around his waist to bring his weight on top of yours.

He pulls away—“Sounds like a pussy”—before kissing you once again. Lips moving in sync; your whines and whimpers being stolen from you by the greedy man above you. His fingers finally make contact with where you need him most; dipping two inside your warmth to prod at the spongy spot that makes your eyes roll back.

“Haah, you have—ff—fuck, r-right there—no idea.” Your skin already feels like it’s on fire. Your body reacts to his every touch; craving more and more at every turn. Harry would give you anything you wanted if you’d asked for it.

“Mm, you probably feel so needy right now, huh?” he chuckles, bringing his free hand up to firmly grasp your throat. The mischievous glint forming in your eyes again, his favorite smile etched onto your lips. He finally put your favorite necklace back in its rightful place. 

“Uhuh, please. Need you so bad,” His thumb begins rubbing slow circles on your clit; your teeth take hold of your bottom lip as you look at him with blown out eyes, silently begging for more. 

“Yeah?” He’s enthralled by your eagerness. The most genuine smile he’s ever been able to muster forms on his lips. You’ve successfully turned this man into mush without even trying. He’d burn the whole world down for you if it meant you’d look at him like that. “Gonna let me take care of you?” 

You nod. 

“Forever this time?” he’s searching your eyes for any ounce of hesitation. Every feeling he ever felt for you shined bright in the emerald orbs before you.

You smile. 

Big.

“Y-yes, Sir,” leaves your lips in the form of a salacious whisper.

“I can be Sir any other time, I just want to be Harry for you right now, sweets,” he retracts his hand from between your legs, bringing it to face level. His eyes never leave yours as he swipes his tongue over his fingers, licking up every ounce of your arousal; his other hand never leaving your throat, rubbing his thumb over your pulse point. Your mouth waters at the sight. He’s so dirty; and you love it. 

You nod frantically in his hold. “H-Harry please,” you’re not sure what you’re asking for, you just want him.

“Gonna give you what you want–what you need–baby,” he presses a chaste kiss to your lips before taking a hold of your hip with his free hand and flipping the two of you over so you were straddling his waist. Sliding his hand that’s around your throat to the nape of your neck to kiss you deeply. He sits up with you, bringing his hands down to the hem of your shirt, sliding his warm hands over the expanse of your hips, trailing up to grope your breasts; his lips still moving perfectly in sync with yours. “C-can i take this off?”

“Please,” a whine leaves your lips. Your arms raise up as he slides your shirt over your head, tossing it to the side. He eyes your chest; placing kisses all over. Reaching behind you, unclasping your bra as it finds the same fate as your shirt. His mouth latches on to your left breast, rolling his tongue over the perked bud. You throw your head back, arms draped around his neck as you grind your bare cunt into his very evident bulge; reveling in the friction against your clit.

“If you keep doing that, I’m going to lose my shit,” he growls, taking your other breast into his mouth.

“Do your worst,” you whisper into his ear, sliding your hands under his sweater, pulling it over his head to join the other pieces of clothing on the floor. You stand from his lap before he’s able to react. Slipping your fingers into the waistband of your skirt, you shimmy it down your hips and thighs, giving him a little show. He watches on with lustful eyes. 

He reaches for his belt, pulling it from the loops of his jeans. “You gonna tie me up again, Harry? Hm?” you tease him, opening the button of his jeans.

“No, baby. Wanna feel your hands all over me this time,” he tosses the belt to the side, standing from the bed, he cups the sides of your face, pulling you to him once again. Your hands still working his zipper, pushing his jeans down.

“Then allow me,” you whisper. Reaching to pull his hands from your face, dropping them to his sides. Slowly sinking to your knees, placing open mouthed kisses to his skin as you traveled south. You feel his abdomen contract at the light touch, making you smirk against his skin before swiping your tongue over the surface, making the man above you audibly whimper.

“D-don’t tease, sweets.” 

You chuckle, pulling his jeans all the way down, he kicks them to the side. Harry slides his boxers off, not wanting to waste anymore time, much to your dismay. You roll your eyes, but your attitude disappears once his cock springs up and you catch a glimpse of his reddened tip, just begging for your attention. 

“Sit,” you whisper, running your fingertips up his legs, tracing over the tiger tattoo on his thigh; placing a kiss on its nose after he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Anything you want, baby,” he reaches to cradle your face, but you dodge his reach. He looks at you quizzically.

“No touching,” rolls off your tongue. You watch his eyes darken as that famous smile forms.

“Oh, you want to play like that?” he leans back on his hands, as you nod. Your hands wrapping around the base of his cock, making him suck a breath through his teeth.

“Wanna see how long you can last without touching me,” you say before you spit onto his tip, smearing it with the precum along his length. Engulfing him in your mouth, swirling your tongue over his tip; running it up and down the prominent vein along the underside. Harry’s eyes roll into the back of his head when you pass the tip of your tongue over the tip of his cock. 

“F–Fuck, sweets, that’s s–so go–ood,” his hands fist in the comforter, just itching to grasp into your hair to guide you how he wanted you. But he was enjoying letting you have your fun. You hum after sinking him to the back of your throat; working him up and up and up. “Baby, if you don’t stop, I’m gon–” you reach up, to fondle his balls, giving them a firm squeeze. His hands shoot up; pulling you off of his cock. “Unless you want me to cum down your throat, you’d better stop now,” he warns you, letting you go. You shake your head.

“Fuck my throat, Harry,” you groan. “Gimme your cum,” your tongue lulls out as you put your mouth on him again.

“You want my help now?” he questions, swiping your hair out of your eyes. You hum an ‘mhm’ around his cock. You pull off for a second—”You already lost, so just fuck my throat already”—before sinking your mouth back onto him. A groan erupts from deep in his chest; he stands slightly, gripping underneath your chin with one hand, and cradles the back of your head with the other, “Breathe through that nose, baby,” he says before nestling your nose against his happy trail; holding you there for a few seconds before pulling back just enough to hear the slick sounds of spit leaving your lips and then diving back in. Rocking his hips back and forth; his balls slapping your chin with every thrust. Your eyes watering, mascara bleeding onto your cheeks. He pulls you off, letting you catch your breath. “Color?” he asks, leaning down by your face. 

“G-green,” you choke out, a sadistic grin forming on your lips. 

“My filthy girl,” he smiles down at you. Tapping your cheek, signaling you to open, Harry spits onto your tongue, colliding his fingertips with the surface of your cheek before sliding his cock back into your mouth. You groan at the impact on your cheek. “Still want my cum in your throat? Blink once for yes and two for no, sweets,” he grins down at you. You blink once in response. “Alright, baby” he speeds up his hips, the tip of his cock prodding at the back of your throat with every thrust. You gag, but he presses on emptying himself deep inside. Moans and cries of your name leave his lips as he squeezes every last drop into your mouth onto your tongue. You swallow and cough as he pulls himself out, catching your breath. He reaches down, pulling you up under your arms to stand with him. Swiping his hands over your hips and lower back; he pulls you to straddle his lap on the bed once again. “Such a pretty girl, looking a mess for me,” he praises, swiping a thumb across your cheek wiping some of the tears and drool away. “Missed you like this. Missed you in general,” he whispers, pressing his lips to yours, tasting himself on your tongue. 

“I missed you too,” you whisper against his lips, pressing your lips back together. He grins against your mouth.

“Couldn’t have missed me too much,” he chastises you, “How many guys did you try to look for me in?” he questions, flipping the two of you over, standing between your legs and  leaning over you. “Hm? How many guys did you try to let have what's mine?” One of his hands swipes those two fingers through your folds.

“J-just f-four,” you moan at the contact. “Promise, I missed you,” you try to pull him down to you, but he remains like a statue, staring at you from above. “Please, kiss me, Harry,” you plead with him.

“Mm, just four,” he mutters. “Gonna give me four orgasms to make it up to me?” he nods his head at you, grabbing your chin to nod your head for you; he smiles at the look of panic in your eyes. “Say, ‘Yes, Harry’ if you understand, baby,” he says, placing a kiss on your nose.

“Y-yes, Harry,” you whisper. Smiling before pulling his lips to yours. He trails his kisses down the expanse of your chest, teasing his tongue on your skin with every kiss. You’re a whimpering mess beneath his touch. Reacting to every pass of his hands over your sweat-slicked skin. Harry settles on his knees between your legs, sligning your knees over his shoulders.

“Still green?” he asks, breath fanning over your cunt. 

“Uhuh,” you whine. “So green.”

Harry dives right in, swiping his tongue over your clit before wrapping his lips around it and sucking, lightly crazing his teeth over the nub; making your hips jerk in response. One of his hands slides up to firmly hold your hips in place against the mattress. 

“Oh, fuck, Harry,” you gasp as a finger enters your heat, giving you that delicious curl that only he could achieve. Your fingers weave into his curls, tugging at the roots. 

“Mm, baby. Keep pulling on it,” he moans against your pussy. “Make it hurt,” he whines. Tongue fucking you as deep as he could and his nose constantly bumping up with your clit has your senses turning all the lights in the house on, plus his finger poking at your g spot has you cumming without warning. Clutching onto his curls for dear life as your body convulses under his mouth.

“Gimme all of it, baby. Soak my face,” he says, continuing his ministrations. Your clit throbs under his tongue, sending shockwaves through your body. 

“T–too much, Harry, oh god. Too much!” He slaps down on your thigh as a warning.

“Shut up, and take it for me like the good girl I know you can be f’me,” his thumb pressing on your clit, sending you into your second orgasm only a minute and a half after your first one. “Good,” he praises you. “Very good, baby.” His fingers continue working you through your trembling state; bringing you back down to earth; just for him to send you back into outer space once he deemed you ready for takeoff. “How are you feeling, sweets?” He slides your legs off of his shoulders, then standing to lean over you again.

“So fucking good, Harry,” you moan out, reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck. He leans into your touch laying his body weight on top of yours. One of his hands comes up to cradle your face, swiping his thumb over the apple of your cheek before kissing you hard. Tasting yourself on someone else’s tongue has never tasted so good. He moans into your mouth, swiping his cock through your folds. 

“Good,” he smiles down at you. You hike your leg up around his hip, tugging him as close to you as possible as he pushes inside. A delicious stretch that you’ve missed terribly. None of those boys you’d attempted to forget Harry with could ever compare to this here and now. He swallows the moans you let escape; sliding his other hand down to grip the sides of your throat, making you whimper. “Take it,” he growls, “Take it all.” 

“Hgnh, Harry. It–it’s–” your moans take over before you’re able to finish your sentence. But Harry knew.

“Know it is, baby. But you love it.” He grins, covering your mouth with his to pull your tongue into his mouth. Stilling his hips once he’s at full hilt, surveying your body's responses to the stretch. Pulling your other leg up over his hip, you silently beg him to move. Harry begins rocking his hips back and forth, stealing every one of your whimpers and cries of pleasure. Your nails leaving scratches along his back. Harry reaches one arm under your lower back, lifting your hips slightly, getting a different angle. Your head tilts back, he takes the opportunity to attach his teeth to your throat, eliciting a deep groan from you. 

But he’s not satisfied yet. He stands, still inside you; grabbing ahold of behind both of your knees and pressing them to your chest, he pistons himself into your cunt; turning you into a whimpering mess. “Fuck, sweets, this pussy fe–eels so go–od.” He groans, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. The angle making your eyes cross; lulling your tongue out he offers you a wad of spit, adding two fingers. “Suck,” and you do. Taking them into your mouth; swirling your tongue around. His other hand sliding down to rub fast circles on your clit, making you gasp. Accepting the opportunity, he pushes his fingers further into your throat making you gag. “Hm, very good, baby,” he smiles at you, retracting his fingers; offering you a slap across your cheek. You smile up at him. “Dirty girl, just wants to be manhandled. Poor thing’s been neglected, huh?” You nod. 

He speeds up his fingers, ignoring your protests of too much. He reminds you that you know what words to use if you really want him to stop. “Gonna cum, pretty?” 

“Uhuh uhuh,” you whine, “hurts, Harry.”

“Know it does, pretty. But you’ll take it f’me won’t you?” he coos at you. You nod frantically in response, your arms anchoring around his neck and pulling him to you. “Yeah you will.”

“G’na cum, Harry,” you tuck your face into his throat, peppering kisses all over the surface in attempt to ground yourself. 

“Cum all over me, pretty girl. Give it to me,” he whispers in your ear. Your body contracts against his, he anchors one hand to your hip, forcing you to remain in place and accept the assault on your bundle of nerves from his other hand.

“H-Harry, please, please please,” whines leave your spit slicked lips, and he just coos you to be quiet.

“Shh, baby. Just take it f’me.” his fingers speed up just a little bit more, as do your whines. “Now, now, do I need to silence you? You were doing so good, baby,” he says, colliding his fingertips with your cheek once again, making you go quiet. You shake your head ‘No’. He takes hold of your face, covering your mouth with his hand as he looks down into your eyes. “Then give me another, right now,” he demands, stilling his hips against yours but continuing to spell his name over your bundle of nerves over and over and over again. 

“F–fuck, Harry,” your body works into overdrive as you hit the peak of the mountain again; toppling over the edge of pleasure and coming down fast, headed right for rock bottom but not before Harry swiftly pulls himself out of you, and flipping you over onto your tummy. You gasp in surprise. He enters you again from behind, you reach back to grasp his hip, attempting to push him back. 

“Ah, ah, ah. I’m not done with you yet,” he growls in your ear. Grasping both of your arms, he folds them against your lower back in one hand.

“Y-you said, f-four,” you whine into the comforter.

“Did I?” he grins above you. “Hm, guess that makes me a liar too, doesn’t it?" he chuckles darkly, his free hand landing smack after smack on your ass. "C’mon pretty, give me number five.”

“H-harry, I–I ca-can’t.”

“You can, and you will,” he states matter of factly. Pulling your arms back with each thrust of his hips to hit every good angle inside your pussy. 

Your head is spinning, every nerve of yours is on fire. Sliding a hand down the expanse of your back, he presses his thumb into your ass, making you moan louder than you have all night. With every thrust of Harry’s hips it drives his thumb further into your ass making your eyes cross.

“G’na cum again, oh god, Harry. G’na cum!”

“Cum, baby. Give all of it to me,” your arousal comes in waves, squirting all over Harry’s abdomen and thighs. “Oh, yes, baby. There she is, such a dirty girl. C’mon, keep squirting all over this dick,” he groans. Leaning down to angle your head to smush his lips against yours. Your body is set ablaze; nobody has ever been able to set your senses on fire like this. Harry was your one in a million, and he finally saw that. He continues thrusting his hips, in and out, in and out milking every bit of your arousal from you that he can. Releasing your arms, he braces his hands near your head, biting down on your upper back as he fucks you into the mattress.

“W-where do you want my cum, baby?” He asks breathlessly, sinking his teeth back into your skin.

“I-inside. Fill me up, Harry,” you moan into the blanket beneath you, your knuckles turning white from your grip.

“Don't have to tell me twice,” he grunts, “G’na fill this pussy up with my babies. Make you all swollen for me. Then those boys will know who you belong to. You want that? Hm?” 

“F-Fuck, yes, Harry. Make me yours,” you cry out, fisting the comforter in your hands. He stills against you; filling you to the brim. “S-shit, Harry. So good, baby. So good.”

“Shit, pretty—you’re so good. Best I ever had, swear to god. Such a good girl,” he moans against your skin. “Perfect f’me.”

The months of brooding just kept him away from what was his; you. Everything about you. The smile he fell in love with at first sight, but refused to admit it. The sounds of your laughter filling the air. The way your face reddened every time he kissed your cheek goodbye. The gleam in your eyes when you got particularly excited about something, especially if it was considered taboo. You were his dirty girl.

He was leaning against the counter as you two discussed everything. The one question you’d asked him that he didn’t really want to answer at the time. “Do you believe in love?” His response, “I’d like to, but it’s not for me,” and it broke your heart. He didn’t think he was deserving. He just wanted to run his business, and move on. He ignored every pang in his chest when he thought about you. But looking at you here and now, his arms wrapped around you as you stood in your hotel room shower, his heart has never felt more full.

“I think I have to change my answer to one of your previous questions.” He says, running his hands over your water slicked skin, rubbing circles on your hips with his thumbs.

“Mm, which one would that be?” You ask, turning your head to look up at him, cheek pressed against his chest, your fingers tangled in his wet curls.

“If I believe in love.”

“And?” You question, a sly smile forming on your lips.

“If I get to experience it with you, then I absolutely believe in love,” he leans down to softly kiss your lips, pulling you as close to him as possible. “But you were right about one thing,” he whispers as he pulls away for a split second, taking in the gigantic smile on your face. Your eyes searching for any sense of deception. 

There is none.

“What’s that?” you ask, bringing a hand down to cup his face; you run your thumb across his bottom lip.

“I didn’t do feelings. Not until you,” and he’s kissing you again.

c/n: weeeeell. what do we think? 🙈 I know it says final up there but I think I may do a check in or two for our pair here. We shall see!! Thank you for coming along this journey with them! I hope you enjoyed!

please like &/or reblog if you enjoyed!

[agirlcandream84]

your writing is AMAZINGGG! every time you post i have to stop what i’m doing asap and sit down to read hehehe

my AC is broken and i literally feel like i’m going to dissolve into the floor. do you have any thoughts on getting through a heat wave/hot day with frank castle? 😏😏

You guys literally have no clue how it feels to receive a message like this. Thank you so so so much for reading.

Boyfriend!Frank x Reader During a Heat Wave

The minute the AC breaks and the heat starts climbing, you both start shedding clothes one by one until he's digging a fan out of the closet in his boxer briefs and you're splayed on the couch in nothing but his old white cotton tank and your panties. A sheen covers your body even while you're completely still, so you've got your hands above your head and your legs spread open just to avoid your thighs touching in the heat.

Needless to say Frank becomes a literal feral animal the moment he walks in the room and sees you looking so slick and before he even says anything you say "it's way too hot for that" and he just says "like hell it is sweetheart," and sinks to his knees in front of the couch and nudges your legs further apart just a hair so he can plant kisses up the length of your clothed core before shimmying the panties off your hips and tossing them to the other side of the room with a "fuckin' gorgeous" tumbling from his lips when he takes in the site of you. He's slow and deliberate, planting soft kisses on your lips before slipping a finger into your clenched core with a "shh shh shh, relax doll" at your whimper as he starts to suck gently on your swollen nub. In minutes you're whining and whimpering as you cum and he takes a beat to stop his ministrations and look up at the length of you and run a hand up your body to cup your breast while you tremble, telling you breathe as he takes in the sight of you.

He's got the decency to help you into a cold shower afterwards, the deliciously cool water cooling you down and he climbs in after you, taking the opportunity to gratuitously soap you up, his hands traveling over every curve and dip and relishing in the way your tits feel slick under his palms, eventually spinning you to face the wall and huffing "forgive me doll, just a little more f'me," and pressing the head of his cock into your entrance and then hugging you tight to the length of him for a tight fit. He ruts his hips slow but searingly deep, cumming quickly inside you and cleaning you up afterwards.

After you're both very well spent, he hauls the old AC window unit from storage and plugs it into the bedroom, pinning up blankets at the doorway to keep the cold air trapped in the bedroom where he also hauls the TV, making you a cocoon of cool air to relax for the evening.

When you're settled in with a book and the AC humming, he presses a kiss to your forehead and says "be back in a minute sweetheart" before he walks 4 blocks to the gas station that has the chewable ice you love so much. He fills up a Big Gulp of only ice and grabs your favorite snacks before heading back home to settle in beside you.

He pulls some strings with some friends to get you three nights at a hotel while he fiddles with the central AC and gives the landlord an earful so that you've got a fully air-conditioned apartment to come back home to.

Excuse me while I lose my damn mind.

[henneseyhoe]

I JUST READ THE MELO SMUT🥵🥵so good can you do another one we’re he’s obsessed with the reader like he’s always posting her and showing her love or even like him being overly obsessed and a little dark

CLOSER.

Lamelo x BLACK!FEM!reader.

WARNINGS:!!SLIGHT CNC!!, daddy kink, stalking, mentions of blood and death, k!dnapping, mentions of mental health, kn!fe play(kinda), breeding if you squint, crying(as always), reader is a tad bit delusional, no protection(wrap it before you tap it)

Ps. I feel like being a perfectionist and overthinking fucked this up for me but I can’t keep holding this damn request hostage 😩 so I hope you still enjoy this, it’s LONG lmfao.

Pss. I thought I lost this request, whole time I just had to scroll down LMFAOOO

✮✮✮✮

“Damn, girl. This like the fiftieth love note you’ve gotten this month!” Karina exclaims, looking down at the stack of notes on Y/Ns counter, the girl adding one more from today into the pile. Truthfully, Karina had been sick of seeing them, disgusted by the amount she got weekly. “Girl, stop! It’s not…maybe fortieth” Karina makes a face, side eyeing Y/N with slight scornful expression. She was more than weirded out at the creepy gestures not moving her friend even a bit. Karina on the other hand, got goosebumps even looking at the letters. They were creepy to her, and every time she read one about this mysterious person confessing their love to her bestfriend, she grew more concerned for her wellbeing. “Like that makes a difference, Y/N. You don’t find this shit kinda..weird?” Y/N shrugs, not seeing the point in looking deeper than the notes themselves. A part inside of her liked the attention she got.

“No, not really. It’s kinda sweet!”

“Sweet?! this man, woman, thing, whatever the fuck! Has been writing to you for almost five months now and has not shown their face. You don’t think that’s creepy?”

“I dunno. Maybe they shy, Karina”

“Nuh-uh. I don’t trust it, I don’t like it. What if it’s your ex?” Y/N laughs, taking her jacket off and setting it on a coat hanger in her closet before heading to her kitchen to prepare a meal, Karina following closely behind her to continue her scolding.

“You are so dramatic, you know that? Me and Jason haven’t talked in so long, I doubt it. I haven’t even seen the nigga around”

“So? Nothing about me is dramatic, I’m telling you the truth. That’s more than a secret admirer, that’s a stalker”

Y/N shrugged her off, laughing once again, and further annoying Karina with her lack of urgency to get down to the bottom of the situation at hand. “Stalker? What is this, a lifetime movie?”

“No, it’s real life. that’s why I need you to stay ready for whatever, especially with that creepy ass message your ex sent you after your breakup”

Little did she know, her friend was right all along. It wasn’t her ex, but someone who was far more demented and delusional. Lamelo had been sending eerily specific love letters to Y/N’s house for months, but had been watching her for well over a year now. Almost as soon as he saw her, his last obsession became a buried memory, Y/N now being in the forefront of his mind and sticking there like double sided tape to itself. After some time, he knew her from top to bottom, back to front, and soon, inside and out. If it was up to him, she would have always been his, but he wasn’t the best with approaching women of Y/N’s caliber. She was smart, a college student studying computer science, and none of his silly mind games that’d usually trip up other girls he was interested in would work on her. He had to up his game, and so, he set his plan in motion until he got her in the right place to sink his teeth into her.

✮✮✮✮

“Be safe, okay?”

“Yes, Karina! I won’t get murdered or chopped up over my vacation week, I promise” Y/N joked, but Karina was dead serious, finding no humor in her mess. Y/N’s smile drops, and she becomes serious, mostly so Karina would leave her alone about those ‘silly little notes’. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll be safe” she reassured, both the girls finally saying their goodbyes with a loving hug and wave. Closing the door, Y/N sighs. Karina was her bestest friend in the world, but sometimes she could be overbearing. Y/N felt maybe she needed a bit of attention since her recent breakup. She craved it, really. It didn’t matter if the attention was physical or something with a little less contact, Y/N wanted it. But, It wouldn’t go farther than that, she didn’t need a rebound.

Walking into her kitchen where she just finished preparing dinner, she began making herself a plate of spaghetti and freshly toasted bread. The smell of the food made her stomach growl. She knew if she didn’t give Karina a plate of her own before she left, she’d complain that Y/N hogged all that good food to herself. Satisfied with the plate she made, she grabbed her a fork from the dishwasher and sat down at the dining table. Taking a generous amount of pasta on her fork, her mouth watered just as she was about to send her tastebuds to food-heaven.

Then, the doorbell rang.

The girl pauses, praying whoever the hell that was would go away on their own so she could finish eating.

Knock, knock, knock.

Damn. Her lights were on, they knew she was home. She sighs, her fork lowering back down to her plate. Swallowing the saliva that had accumulated in her mouth, she unsticks herself from her comfortable seat, grumpily making her way towards the front door. Oddly, she saw no one through the frosted glass frame placed in the middle of the door, so she was forced to open it up and see what was going on.

“Hello??” She called, aggravated by how she had to leave her hot dinner just to answer the door and be met with silence. Stepping out on her porch a little, her eyes scan her yard, though nothing but darkness surrounded. Shaking her head, Y/N slams the door shut and locks it. “Stupid ass kids knockin’ on my door. One day imma stick my foot up one of they asses” She rants, walking back to her little set up. Feeling happiness again, she takes that lovely bite of food and does a little dance in her seat.

As her eating progresses, she couldn’t help but to notice her vision blurring, creating two of everything around her. Her head began to spin, and her heartbeat could be heard in her ears mid bite. She had lost her appetite completely by now, currently only focusing on not throwing up all over her table.

‘Where’s my phone?’

She could have sworn she had set it right next to her plate, but it was no where to be found now, even in her corrupted vision. Holding her head in her free hand, she gags at the sudden smell that fills her nose. It was a faint smell, but noticeable. sweet smelling, almost. Ironic for the bitter moment. Her brain told her to stand, and she followed suit, but she couldn’t stop the weakening of her knees or how slowed her breathing was getting.

Her body hit the floor with a ‘THUD’, her limbs feeling completely weighted down, and her consciousness slipping from her as she laid on the cold tiled floor, unable to move.

✮✮✮✮

There she was. Finally where Lamelo wanted her to be. He was so jittery and giddy about his successes that he could scream, but he held off on that till he was alone. His letters, fake pages, dms, and Instagram likes had finally paid off. He had her all to himself, and finally, no one was in his way. Not her colleagues, not Karina, not even her ‘crazy ass’ ex. He had gotten rid of him as soon as tension rose in their relationship. Jason hadn’t seen REAL crazy till he met Lamelo, and he made sure he knew that before his last breath.

The first time Lamelo and Jason interacted was when he witnessed their first relationship fight, which was fairly petty, but Melo didn’t see it that way. He had left a reeeal lengthy note on Jason’s dorm door, describing in step by step detail about how he would gut him like a fish, cut him up into tiny pieces and send every single bit of him off to his ‘helpless whore of a mother’, as Melo described her as. Of course Jason was shaken up, rightfully so. But obviously not shaken up enough to back off.

After not talking to Y/N since the argument, Jason appeared on her porch with that same note, tearing her a new one. He thought Karina was playing jokes on him for arguing with her bestfriend and making her cry. He took his anger out on her, yelled up a storm, and burned up the letter in his hand with his lighter, leaving it on the poor girls porch to stomp out as tears flowed from her glossed brown eyes.

Lamelo took the whole thing as a challenge. Did he really think Karina was on his level of literacy? That note was too well typed for it to be her. So, him being the man he was, made his threats come to fruition. He easily beckoned Jason into close arm reach by teasing him on his campuses basketball court as Jason was doing solo drills. Lucky for Lamelo, he trained at night.

Walking himself into the low lit court, Lamelo began taunting him, which stretched over three whole minutes. Knowing the hot head would react with physical anger, Lamelo kept a guard, and as soon as Jason tried him, Lamelo revealed the bat he held behind his back, swiftly taking a mighty swing at the man’s left leg, hitting right below his knee. Jason couldn’t have possibly seen it coming.

“Right out the park!” Lamelo continued to tease with a wide smile as if blood wasn’t splattered on his shoes. Red spilled from the back of Jason’s knee from his bone completely breaking and stabbing its way through his muscles and skin. You could have heard the snap of the bone and the sound of him hitting the floor echo through the gym, a sound Melo wanted to hear, but Jason’s loud screaming ruined getting the full effect. “I guess this is the part where I run to base” Grabbing the man by his destroyed, bloodied leg, Lamelo drags Jason off of the court as he screams bloody murder.

Lamelo instantly began regretting not bringing anything else to knock him out with without killing him, but every mastermind had slip ups. a shame somebody is gonna hear his screams and probably have nightmares about it now though. Not that Lamelo cared about either parties wellbeing, he just didn’t wanna hear his or anyone else’s mouth.

Then, in Lamelo’s basement face down, Jason continues to cry like a baby while Lamelo took a much needed drink break for the sake of his sanity, or what was left of it.

“How the fuck am I supposed to play ball now!?” Jason heaves suddenly with a quiet sob leaving his dry lips, his coffee colored hands holding his thigh as the blood spilling slowed. “You genuinely thought you were gonna get that far?”

Before Jason had time to attempt to answer, two bullets were already lodged into his skull, one exiting from between his eyebrows and one through his left eye socket.

✮✮✮✮

His daydreaming was cut short by Y/N mixing in her seat. Her consciousness had finally came back, but confusion quickly filled that space in her mind that was once occupied by unconsciousness. She looks around, not recognizing anything around her. “Look who’s up” Melo leans up from his seat in front of her, peeling off the ghostface mask he wore just for dramatic purposes. Y/N’s eyebrows knit together. “I know whatchu thinking. Where am I? Who are you? I’ll tell you all that later. But, for right now, we’re gonna celebrate” He smiles, and tosses the mask, standing from the couch he sat on.

Walking over to a small bar, he pours an unknown drink into a glass. Y/N had no idea what was going on, nor did she really care to find out. She was too worried about all the guns and knives that were laid out on the floor next to his seat. Fear pumped up her body with adrenaline, her entire being tingling. She wanted to jump out of her seat, but her arms were tied behind her back, and her ankles were tied to the chair’s own legs.

“I wanna make a toast. To a new life, and new love” He held up his glass and drunk some of the mystery liquor. Waking over to her, he holds the glass to her lips. “Drink” he instructed, Y/N shaking her head and looking away. “Why not? You think I poisoned it or somethin’?” He takes his hand and grabs her jaw, forcing her to look at him. “I wouldn’t do that to myself, so drink” he insists.

Looking back at him, her eyes trace his features, stretching down his long, tatted arms. Creepy shit aside, she thought he was cute, but she had to stay focused. “If you don’t drink, imma just force you” Y/N didn’t budge, but Lamelo had no problem with setting her straight early on. Gripping the sides of her face to make her open her mouth, he tilts her head back roughly and pours the drink into her mouth. The liquid went down smoothly, but burned her throat like hell. She didn’t drink, she never did because she got drunk easily, and Lamelo knew that.

She jerks her head away with a strong gag, tears welling up in her eyes. “I dunno if you realized yet, but I’m the one in charge, I’m the one who ain’t tied up, I’m the one that could end you like *snap* that” he threatens with a snap, but it holds no weight to him. He wasn’t gonna kill this one, or at least he hoped he wouldn’t have to. “I know you’re a smart girl, so I know you can listen. I didn’t go through all those letters to find out you can’t follow simple instructions, pretty”

Her eyes were drawn to him, anger now flickering within them like a flame in a dark room. “Letters?…You were the one writing those fuckin’ letters?” She spoke through clenched teeth. Lamelo smiles. “Surpriiiise~” he sings, gulping down the rest of the alcohol before slamming the glass down on the floor. The glass shattered into pieces, making Y/N jump at the sound. Her breathing was ragged, and pressure built up behind her eyes like a dam waiting to be cracked open.

“You’re a sick person” She spoke with distress, shaking her head. Melo shrugs with no sympathy. If he had a dollar for every time someone said that to him, he’d be a Rockefeller. “Everybody sick, I just have no problem showing mine, unlike the rest of society”

“Jesus Christ” she muttered, her head hanging low in regret. Karina was right all along, and she didn’t listen. If she did, she wouldn’t be in this position, her life in the hands of a man she didn’t even know. “Don’t act so sad. You’re gonna love me…or at least learn to. again, you’re smart”

“I don’t wanna love you. I wanna go home”

“You are home. Don’t be stupid” He spat, waltzing by her and picking up a blade from the floor, inspecting in. Y/N tenses up, Lamelo immediately noticing. He side eyes her with a slight smirk, mischief infesting his energy. “You think imma cut you, Y/N?” She kept quiet, but he continued to pry. “You think imma scar that pretty frame you got? What about this beautiful face?” He walks over to her, using the knife to swipe a box braid out of her vision. Y/N sniffles, taking a deep breath.

“Let. Me. Go”

“Or what?” Lamelo challenged, getting close to her as Y/N gave him a look, one he couldn’t make out or tell if it was anger. “You can’t do shit, I made sure. I tied you real good. Your friend thinks you went on vacation, so if you aren’t answering tomorrow, that just means you made it safe and you’re having fun. Maybe found yourself a fun fling that’s distracting that pretty mind. Somebody you invited up to your room” he continues, the tip of his knife swiftly making a cut into her gown with a quick swipe, making the thin fabric fall from the top of her body, pooling into her lap.She wanted to cover her naked body, but the rope restraints stuns her movements.

“Would you take me back to your hotel room, Y/N? I would have been a great candidate” the sadistic nature of him alone had her terrified, he could have done anything to her. She began shedding tears. She was exposed now, realizing the gown wasn’t even something she remembered wearing or buying, so he had to have put it on her himself when she was knocked out.

If he pulls the rest off, she was for sure fucked, no pun intended. He stares with no shame, the tip of his tongue grazing his plump bottom lip.

‘Fuck’

She attempts clenching her thighs together to stop the tingling, but it never subsided, and her brown nipples getting as hard as pebbles helped nothing. She wanted to keep a guard up so badly for her own safety, but the wetness coating the lips between her legs was telling her to do something else.

He notices how her legs were trying to move and her hips slowly circled, unintentionally trying to find a specific position to stimulate her clit. She couldn’t help it, she just wanted the tingling to stop. “Lemme help you wit’ that, ma” Melo smirks, putting his hand right under her soaked pussy. She stops immediately and lifts her butt as much as she can, feeling the warmth of his hand under her. She shakes her head ‘no’, but he nods a ‘yes’ and keeps his hand placed, kneeling on one knee in front of her. “Go ‘head” He says. The approval he gave her lingered in her head as the tingling intensified, giving her no choice but to fall into temptation.

Y/N hesitantly lowers herself down and begins to move against his hand, swirling, bouncing, and grinding down at the speed she wanted as her hips stuttered backwards every time his finger tips would swipe over her clit. She let out a stifled moan and threw her head back, rocking her hips faster as she felt herself climb closer to her end. Lamelo only fed her urges by bringing his hand up higher every time she’d raise her hips when the feeling got too strong, aiming to stimulate her clit through even the strongest parts of her orgasm. His dick was as hard as an iron pole in his pants now. It almost painfully pressing up against the material, the tip leaking precum just practically begging to be set free so he could fuck something, and soon it’d get its turn. Y/N could just see it through her eyelashes, she couldn’t help but look, it was so obvious.

Lamelo slides his fingers between her wet folds, collecting her slick to keep her clit wet while she used him as she pleased. “Speed up” he instructed.

✮✮✮✮

Fifteen minutes had passed and she had already came twice in the palm of his hands. Her seat was sticky and her thighs were wet, but Lamelo’s hand and arm were wetter. He slid his hand from under her and took a taste of what he had craved for so long. All of the timeless nights he had spent looking through her bedroom window, watching her feel, fuck, and taste herself, wishing he was there to catch every drop.

Feeling defeated, Y/N’s head lulls backwards as she rests her eyes on the ceiling above her. There was no other sound but the ringing frequency in her ear and the huffing of her breath trying to slow itself. She could hear her own heartbeat slowing too, just until the sound of wood creaking above them drowned the sound out. She pauses, her eyes shooting wide.

‘Who could possibly be here? could they help?’

Was what she began thinking as all the color from Lamelo’s face seemingly drained, his breath now still. Suddenly he reaches for the knife he held earlier, grabbing it from the floor and clutching it in his hand. Just in case someone had creeped down the stairs to the basement and witnessed what had been going on, he had no problem getting rid of whoever was responsible for ruining their moment.

The walking upstairs prologued, the hot tears that filled her eyes starting to flood her flushed cheeks as he placed a finger over her lips, signaling her to shut up. The cold blade of his knife pressed against the skin of her throat, so hard that she could practically feel her pulse and she was holding her breath purposely, scared the blade would cut her precious soft skin if she moved even an inch, and he cared less.

As the footsteps went away, distancing from them, he moves his hand. He lets out a much needed breath of relief and licks his lips, a smile growing on his face. “Roommate. Thought we were goners there for a second. You did good though, ma” He praises, standing from his crouching position. “I think you deserve a treat because of that”

Positioning his knife under the rope that held her feet in place, he looks up at her with a warning look before cutting both of her legs free. He walks around the chair and does her hands next, giving Y/N the room to rub her aching joints, feeling relief. Only one thought ran through her mind just then, and though she was tired from the recent back to back orgasms, she knew she only had one chance to get it right. So, she stood like a lamb taking its first steps, and took a run for it.

‘Please, please, please’

She pleaded in her head over and over again as she ran though the large basement, hoping to find an exit. Just as she had spotted a door at the end of a dark stairway, light of freedom shining through the cracks, her body jerked backwards and spun in the opposite direction, the miss placement of her sore feet being the reason why she hit the floor. The taste of iron filled her mouth from the gash on the inside of her lip, her teeth accidentally biting down on it as she went down.

She thanked god that carpet covered the floor or else she would have definitely knocked a tooth loose, and maybe lost one. “Run pretty fast for someone who’s been tied up for hours” He flipped her over so easily, prying her legs open so he could kneel between them. He admired her entire body as he held both her wrists down above her head with just one hand so he could capture them in a pair of cuffs, making sure she had no fighting chance this time. She couldn’t believe his hand was big enough to hold down both, and even with her struggling, he didn’t budge once.

✮✮✮✮

The take down was rough, but when he fucked, it was nothing like she expected. He slid his shaft along her clit, the pink bud erect and sticking out from her hood. He couldn’t stop himself from jumping against her pussy with excitement, the tip of his dick slapping the bottom of her belly with every bounce. He pulls his hips back, the tip of him now resting against her dripping entrance, ready to ruin her for the next, if Lamelo didn’t get to him first. “Stop..” She mutters, but deep down, she was really anticipating the contact.

Her sexual organs were completely against her once again, fogging her mind with thoughts of him she didn’t want and didn’t expect to have. She was forced to sit there, pondering on how he felt and how deep he could go inside of her, but she no longer had to wonder as he pushed his hips back forward to give her a taste of what she would be stuck with for the rest of her days.

He sunk into her slowly, her walls gripping him as a welcome upon entrance. He practically had to force himself inside with a drawn out sigh as Y/N sucks in air, both of them exchanging looks into their eyes before looking down at where they connected. Her stomach involuntarily sucks in, showing the bulge of his dick every time he thrusted forward with skill into her. The feeling deep down was so indescribable, so good that she almost cracked a smile. She hadn’t even noticed how much he was stretching her out, she was too busy feeling every inch of him.

Her eyes rolls back and her toes curled as she brought her legs back further for him, Lamelo smiling at how he didn’t even have to tell her to do so. He was just proud that she was learning, but she had much more to get down pact.

“Good girl…” he rasps.

“It’s so fucking deep” She whispers, her voice slightly hoarse from her throat being dry. As his hips tempo changed, the chains connected to her wrists made jingling sounds, making music with the clapping of their thighs joining in the harsher he got. He couldn’t tell if his bodies reaction to her was cause he hadn’t had sex in a long time or if she was just that damn tight. Meanwhile, YN was Lost in clouds of her own, feeling the repetitive push of Lamelo’s tip knocking against her g-spot, her own cream starting to slip out of her and drip down to her ass.

“This pussy grippin’” Melo compliments, one of his hands moving downwards to grip at the girls throat, making her tear up once again.

“Yeah? You like it?” She spoke breathlessly, the man above her nodding and laying a singular kiss on her lips, making her swoon momentarily before going back to her struggling whimpers.

“Mhmm, fuck” He moans. He never moaned, but he guessed she was changing him too.

“Call me daddy”

“Daddy!”

“Yeah, what’s my name?”

“Daddy! Fuck!”

“You so fuckin’ pretty, mamas” he groans out, almost whimpering as his dick pushed inside her further and further. She felt like he was trying to make her cervix a home for his dick with how deep he was going. Y/N began to think how they had gone too far for her to ignore how she was enjoying every bit of this. No matter how much she tried to tell her pussy to stop cumming for him, she continued, making the carpet under her soaked with her honey. Hours ago she wished her hands were untied to beat his ass, but now she wished they were uncuffed so she could trace his tattoos while he dug her out.

He was hitting spots that not even her ex man was hitting.

Using her thighs for leverage, he begins to fuck her in a push-up position, ramming his long dick directly into her coven, her walls squeezing him almost like she was showing thanks without words. Her juices made it easier for him to fuck her with no limit, slipping and sliding into her with no trouble apart from how tight she was gripping.

He didn’t hold off to cum either, he had already came twice, but he had more to give her and she had no choice but to take it. He was convinced he could imprint on her, and it was a bonus if his seed grew inside of her after all this hard work he put in. She was gonna stay with him, and he was gonna make sure of it.

✮✮✮✮

[fruitsoxs]

I just read the jealousy drably you posted and I already really enjoy your writing! I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort and I was wondering if we could get a part 2 of sorts with comforting and loving Vash after realizing the situation made him a bit upset/ jealous. Whether you write it or not, I can’t wait to see your further work 👍

i decided to throw these two requests together!

Part 1

pairings: vash x reader , wolfwood x reader

warnings: a bit of angst, vash cries, wolfwood is kind of a jerk

notes: yeah- part 2 so soon for you babes. ily all! he one bed trope is kinda weak here so i think i might write another drabble or fic later because I love that trope. also is this a little too long to be a drabble? idk

Vash

Your eyes flicker to the man beside you for a moment. He’s not looking at you- no his eyes are conveniently tracing every other thing in this room but you. His blue eyes refuse to land on you, no matter how much you try to intercept his vision. You briefly wonder how long he can look at the same lamp before getting bored, but your sarcastic thoughts are cut short when he finally speaks up.

“I’ll switch with Meryl-” Vash says suddenly causing your eyes to widen in confusion. 

What is going on with him? 

Sure this room only has one bed. Yeah it’s a little awkward, but it’s never been such a big problem before. In fact, you have been traveling with Vash for so long that it has happened multiple times before and has never been this big of a deal! You thought the two of you were close enough that something this small wouldn’t matter- but apparently you were wrong.

Actually, Vash has been acting like this for a little over a week now. He’s been avoiding your gaze, not talking to you, and even refusing to joke around like he once did. Every time you try to approach him, it feels like he’s putting up this wall to keep you away. Even the others have started to notice. Wolfwood has been giving the two of you curious glances, and he’s kinda bad at picking up on that stuff.

You’re honestly starting to get tired of it- he’s given you no explanation about why he’s suddenly distant, and it’s beginning to really hurt. You aren’t just close with him, you’re pretty much in love with him. You have been for a long time- and while you don’t mind staying friends, it hurts more than anything to have him push you away this far.

“Don’t bother.” You finally answer after a moment of silence. “They won’t switch with either of us- they did this on purpose.” You explain throwing your bag into the corner of the room. Vash flinches at this- and you sighand take a deep breath. 

Another awkward silence fills the room, and you find yourself staring at him as he avoids your gaze again. His eyes shoot over to you for only half a second before they go back to that stupid lamp. A deep anger starts to bubble up in your chest. You don’t like getting mad at him. You barely ever do. But right now? He’s hurting you. Every time he looks away, every time he ignores you, it makes your heart sting.

You can’t even think of a reason why he’s doing this! It all started a week ago after a night at the bar. You went to grab everyone some drinks, and when you came back Vash was gone. When you asked, Wolfwood just shrugged and told you he went to bed. After that? Nothing.

“Which side do you want?” You ask, trying desperately to get anything out of him. Vash just shrugs. “I’ll take the floor.” He says without even turning to you.

Your heart sinks. What have you done? You don’t understand. 

“What is going on with you?” You suddenly ask, a little angrier than you mean to be. You can see a change in his body immediately. He goes rigged- tense. “What do you mean?” He asks. You sigh and slump down onto the bed- resting your head in your hands. “You’ve been quiet- too quiet. Every time I try to talk to you, you find some excuse to walk away. You won’t sit next to me in the car. You refuse to even look at me-” You cut yourself off, feeling tears threaten to spill from your eyes. “What did I do?”

He looks over at you with wide eyes. It’s the first time he’s looked at you in days, and now you can see that something is very wrong. His eyes are dark- his face is pale. He looks like he hasn’t slept in days. 

Oh.

You’re so stupid. All this time you’ve been so hurt by him ignoring you, you haven’t really paid attention to him. This isn’t about you, or maybe it is, but there’s obviously something deeper happening here. There’s something really wrong.

“You didn’t do anything. I-” He starts to explain- but can’t seem to get it out. He turns away from you again. “It’s me.” He finally concludes. In the moonlight from the window you can see his shoulders shake slightly. 

“Oh Vash…” You immediately get up and reach out for his arm, he doesn’t stop you. You grab him and pull him close, hugging him tightly. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t hug you back for a second- his body stiff. Eventually though, his arms wrap around you and he pulls you close. The hug feels normal- like you’ve done it a thousand times before. And to be fair- you have. 

“The other day at the bar…that guy was flirting with you.” Vash murmurs, and your eyes widen. That silly random doctor? He was a bit funny yes- but you only were talking to him because you felt a little cornered. You don’t even remember what that guy looks like. “I saw you laughing- and I just got so jealous.” 

Your heart flutters softly. He was jealous?

“And…I just kept thinking that I have no right to feel that way. I have no right to think of you that way. Everyone around me always gets hurt, and I don’t want you to get hurt.” He’s crying as he explains this, light tears dripping from his cheeks onto your shoulder. “But I can’t help but be selfish. You’re more than my best friend I…” he trails off choking up. “I love you.”

You feel your breathing stop for a moment. The room goes eerily quiet. The onlys pounds you can hear are his soft sobs, and your heartbeat. You tighten your hold on him, so he can’t even try to pull away. “I…I love you  too.” You admit softly.

“But-”

“No. I love you too. You can’t…you can’t do this to yourself. You can’t force yourself to be isolated from the world. I don’t want you to push me away- I don’t care what your reasoning is.” You cling to him as you speak. “I want to be by your side. Please let me.” You beg softly.

His arms tighten around you too, and he shoves his face into your hair, still crying quietly. You rub his back with your hand, and murmur soft words into his skin until he calms down. Soon, the two of you are just holding each other in the moonlight. 

“Okay.” is all he says, pulling away. He’s smiling down at you through red eyes, and it’s the most genuine smile you’ve ever seen. “I promise, I won’t push you away ever again.”

You reach your hand up to his cheek, and he turns his face to kiss your palm lightly. The two of you stare at each other for a second. “I’ll take the left side.” he breaks the moment with a playful grin and you giggle.

The rest of the night is spent cuddling and talking about your feelings. The only tears shed after that are happy tears.

Wolfwood

Despite having a romantic dance at a random bar (and yes, Wolfwood is a surprisingly good dancer) the next day things go back as they always are. Actually, things feel a little bit worse even. After weeks of trying to break down Wolfwood’s ridiculously high walls, you were finally granted a pleasant evening in his arms- only to immediately be cussed at for sitting a little too close to him in the car the next day.

It’s not like you were sitting on his lap either! All you did was softly press your leg up against his, because Vash was once again thrashing in his sleep- and he pushed you over and grumbled for you to get back in your own fucking seat. Charming right? 

Things kept getting worse after that. You two started bickering more. You both started to refuse to talk to each other at some point, forcing poor Vash to be your messenger(he was not a fan of telling you to fuck yourself for Wolfwood). You even got into a tiny argument over directions, that resulted into a bigger argument about how utterly useless you are. (Which definitely did not make you cry that night)

The others in the group were starting to get really fed up with the two of you. 

Which is how you ended up here- standing in the hallway to your tiny hotel room with Wolfwood staring at you from the doorway. He looks over to the single bed in the room, and glares at you. “This is my room.” he says matter of factly, putting his Punisher down against the wall. 

“No, I’m pretty sure this is my room.” you respond, crossing your arms.

“One second.” He huffs disappearing out into the hallway. You wait a moment, staring at where he once was with a frown. When he comes back he looks like he’s considerably more angry. “Apparently- it’s our room.” He mumbles shoving past you. 

Your eyes widen a bit, but you’re not as surprised as you should be. Meryl is sneaky when she wants to be.

There’s some shuffling behind you, and you turn to see Wolfwood grabbing some pillows and throwing them on the ground. He’s got a look on his face that’s not quite a frown. It actually looks more anxious than anything. It makes your own anger fall. 

“What are you doing?” You ask tilting your head as he messes with his floor pillows. “I’m sleeping on the ground.” he tells you, looking up for only a split second. You notice that there’s a sucker in his mouth that’s almost completely gone- it’s his second one in the past hour. He must be stressing over something.

“No you’re not.” You sigh and lean down to pick up his pillows. He catches your wrist softly, stopping you. “Yes I am.” he argues back. His grip is nothing short of respectful, so soft that you actually don’t even think of pulling away. “No, I won’t let you.” you shoot back, making him roll his eyes.

“What’re you gonna do? Force me to sleep on the bed?”

“Actually yeah- I am.”

“Oh? And how are you gonna do that Angel?”

The nickname makes you perk up a bit. It’s been a couple of days since he called you that. Maybe this means the stick up his ass is finally gone?

“Just sleep in the damn bed Wolfwood-”

“I don’t want to-” He growls, glaring at you once again. His look seems to say ‘Stop pushing me’, but you’ve never been so good at obeying warnings. So you grab his pillow and yank it away from the floor. “Too bad!” You yell, trying to throw the stupid thing back onto the bed. He stops you by yanking the pillow back towards him.

The two of you stop and glare at each other, both holding onto the pillow like children. The stare off goes on until you finally give up, sighing. “Look, if you don’t want to sleep next to me that bad- I’ll sleep on the floor.” You mumble, your chest suddenly feeling very tight.

“That’s not it…”

“ Don’t argue with me. You carry around that stupidly big cross all day- wait what?”

Your eyes meet his, and he looks down at the floor. There’s a hint of a blush on his cheeks, so faint you can barely see it. “I said that’s not it. It’s not that I don’t wanna sleep next to ya…” He lets go of the pillow with a sigh, and fishes into his pocket to pull out a cigarette. In silence, he places it into his mouth and lights it.

“Then what’s the problem?” You ask a little confused. If that’s not what his issue is then what is it? Does he think you don’t want to? You’ve made it pretty clear that you wouldn’t mind! So what’s his deal?

“The problem is....” He starts looking at you as he breathes some smoke out. “I want to.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat as you look at him. “Oh.” is all you can say as your cheeks flush red. He wants to? He wants to sleep with you? He wouldn’t be this upset if he meant platonically right? He’s definitely hinting at something right? His cheeks are a bit red too

“Me too…” you finally admit after. He laughs at your words and runs a hand through his hair. “Yeah I figured. You were pretty aggressive about getting me into bed.�� He mumbles playfully leaning down to pick up the pillow, and throws it over onto the bed. You can’t help but feel the corners of your mouth twist upward.

After a few moments of silence, he steps towards you and puts his hand on your cheek. “I’m sorry for being an ass recently. I just…I don’t know how to deal with this stuff.” He mumbles looking down into your eyes. “It’s okay Nick…We can take it slowly. We can figure it out as we go…” you reply softly. He smiles down at you. “You’re too good for me.”

And then, he kisses you. It’s so soft, and so careful. His lips are only against yours for a moment before he pulls away. “Let’s get some rest.”

small a/n: as always let me know if you see any typos- i only have someone to beta read my full fics, and i cannot correct my own writing.

[wavypotatochips]

Heyyy

Could you do one wereas you've liked Kylain for the longest time but you knew he would think nothing more than you as a friend. Him and his girlfriend break up and she moves on quickly. So he needs to aswell and chooses you to be his fake girlfriend for the meantime. You say yes ofc and it only just makes your feelings for him grow even more. Slowing so does his. Good ending please!

𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙣𝙖 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨 | 𝙆𝙮𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙣 𝙈𝙗𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚

𝘗𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: Kylian Mbappe x Female Reader

Word Count : 4.9k

𝘈𝘶𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘳𝘴 𝘕𝘰𝘵𝘦: So sorry for the wait! I really enjoyed writing this so I may or may not have gone a bit overboard c': teehee hopefully you don't mind the length/ Thank you so much for requesting!! I Hope you like how I represent your idea ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚!!

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Since I haven't been able to write much this week, I'm currently catching up on current requests because I'm a little behind. You can submit a request, but please understand that it might take me a week or more to respond. mwah mwah love ya! ♥

You've known Kylian for years and you've always had a bit of a crush on him. 

There's only one issue.

He is in a relationship, and you would never want to get in the way of that. Therefore, you make every effort to keep your emotions hidden and act as though nothing is wrong. But it's not always simple. Every time you're near him, your breath quickens, your palms become sweaty, and his presence takes over your thoughts. You try to divert your attention by concentrating on other things, but it's challenging when he's constantly present. You even find yourself inventing excuses to spend more time with him, despite the fact that it is only making things worse for you. You feel guilty for having these feelings and being unable to control them. You are aware that keeping your distance and attempting to move on are the wisest course of action, but it is much easier said than done. You can't help but wonder what would have happened if things had turned out differently, but you know you'll never know. So, for the time being, you know it's best to continue to mask your emotions and pretend that everything is alright. You'll smile and laugh with him, while secretly wishing that he could see you in a different light. You know that this is the best course of action, despite how it saddens you.

One night, Kylian texts you to come to his house urgently, and like a minion, you drop everything that you're doing and head to his house instantly. Different scenarios cross your mind as you drive to his house, wondering what is happening as he usually never texts you in such serious ways. When you arrive, Kylian greets you at the door with a frustrated expression on his face. "Hey," he says, leading you into his living room. "Thanks for coming over."

"What's going on?" you ask, feeling a knot form in your stomach. "Is everything okay?"

Kylian takes a deep breath before speaking, "It's about my girlfriend, or should I say ex-girlfriend.” You widen your eyes, wondering if you heard him correctly. Ex-girlfriend? You wait for him to continue,  "Amora and I broke up a week ago," he says, his voice filled with irritation. "She broke up with me, but didn't give me any reason why. And now, she's already posting pictures with another guy on Instagram." He pulls out his phone and shows you the photo, and your heart sinks even further. Amora is hugging a guy, and they look incredibly close. You can see the anger and frustration in Kylian's eyes, and you wish that there was something you could do to make him feel better.

"Yeah, they're definitely a bit close to being friends," you say softly. You wish that you could do more, but you know that you need to be careful. You've had feelings for him for a long time, and you don't want to do anything that could jeopardize your friendship.

"I'm sorry, Kylian," you say, your heart aching for him. "I can't imagine how frustrating that must be, especially after dating for a year."

Kylian looks up at you, and you can see the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. For a moment, you forget about everything else and just want to wrap him in a hug. But you know that you can't, not when his heart is still broken and his emotions are raw.

Kylian gestures towards the couch, indicating that he wants to sit down and share more. As you both settle in, he begins to confide in you about his relationship troubles. He expresses his frustration and disappointment that despite being together for a year, she became distant after just five months and started going out more frequently. Kylian acknowledges that her celebrity status could be a contributing factor, but he can't help feeling hurt and irritated about the amount of time and money he invested in the relationship. You listen as he talks, and you do your best to be there for him by responding with your insight when you can. You know that it won't solve all of his problems, but at least for now, you can be a shoulder for him to lean on. Kylian leans back into the couch and lets out a long sigh. You can see the exhaustion in his face and the weight of his emotions. "I just don't get it, you know? One day she's all in, and the next she's out. And now, she's already moved on with someone else like I meant nothing to her," he says, shaking his head in disbelief.

You reach over and place your hand on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "It's okay to feel hurt and frustrated, Kylian. Breakups are never easy, especially when you invest so much time and energy into a relationship. But you have to remember that you're not defined by your relationship status or who you're with. You're an amazing person who deserves to be treated with respect and love," you say, trying to offer some words of comfort. Kylian looks over at you and gives you a small smile. "Thanks, Y/N. I really appreciate you being here for me. You're always such a good friend," he says, his eyes reflecting gratitude. You smile back at him, but inside, you feel a pang of sadness. Moments like this, you wish you could be more than just a friend, someone who could make him happy and be there for him in a more intimate way. But for now, you'll continue to be the supportive friend that he needs.

Kylian stands up and looks down at you, "Which brings me to a plan I have in mind." You raise an eyebrow and ask, "What plan?" He nods and continues, "There's an event coming up next weekend and I was wondering if you could be my fake girlfriend for the night." You are taken aback and not sure what to say. "Fake girlfriend?" you repeat, trying to understand. Kylian nods and explains, "Amora already moved on with another guy so I  just want to make her jealous, show her that I have moved on too." He shrugs as if what he was proposing was not a big deal. You were left stunned and incredulous as you processed the words that Kylian had just spoken. He had just made an unexpected proposition - he wanted you to act as his pretend girlfriend for a single night. It was a bewildering request, and you struggled to comprehend why he would ask such a thing. However, despite the confusion and bewilderment that you felt, you couldn't deny the fluttering excitement that began to rise within you. After all, you have been crushing on Kylian for what feels like an eternity. The mere thought of being able to spend a night by his side, even if it was only pretend, was enough to make your heart race with anticipation. It was a risky move, considering that your feelings for him were real, but the opportunity to live out your wildest fantasy was a tempting prospect that you couldn't ignore. You couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to hold his hand, to laugh at his jokes, and to feel his arm around your waist. The idea of playing the part of his girlfriend, even if it was just for a fleeting moment, sent your mind into overdrive. Was it worth the risk of potentially ruining your friendship if he found out your true feelings? Or should you play it safe and decline his offer?

"I don't know, Kylian. What if people find out it's all fake?" you say, trying to weigh the pros and cons.

"Don't worry, it's a private event, and there won't be any paparazzi around. We only need to present ourselves as a pair," he says with a smirk.

Despite the internal conflict that waged within you, the prospect of indulging in a fantasy with Kylian proved too enticing to pass up. You take a deep breath and give him a nod, agreeing to his request. It was a decision that could change everything, but for now, you couldn't deny the thrill that pulsed through your veins at the thought of what was to come.

“And when should we start pretending to date?” you ask with a hint of amusement in your tone.

He leans down to take your hand, causing your heart to race with anticipation. You try to calm your nerves and hope he can't hear your pounding heart. "Let's start now," he says as he pulls you towards him, pressing your chests together. You're taken aback by the sudden closeness, and he notices. "You're too nervous. We need to make it look natural," he says as he moves even closer, almost to the point of kissing. Your mind races as you try to control your breathing. After a few seconds, he laughs and steps back. "This is going to be great," he says, giving you a thumbs up. "If we pull it off, I'll take you anywhere you want."

You let out a small laugh, feeling relieved that the intense moment is over. "You better, because being your best friend is enough. Being your girlfriend is gross," you joke, trying to mask your true feelings. You're still reeling from the way he pulled you in and held you close.

He waves you off playfully. "You know you love me," he says as he heads towards the kitchen.

You follow him with a smile, feeling giddy inside. "Make me a snack, will ya?" you ask, knowing he won't say no.

"Why should I do that?" he asks playfully.

You sit on a bar stool, grinning at him. "Because you're my boyfriend, duh."

He chuckles at your response and heads to the fridge, grabbing some ingredients for your snack. He moves around the kitchen with ease while you observe him, loving the handsomeness of his features. As he prepares the snack, you can't help but steal glances at him. He looks up and catches you staring, causing you to quickly look away, feeling embarrassed.

"You okay there?" he asks with a smirk.

You roll your eyes and play it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just admiring the chef at work," you say with a teasing tone.

Although you find Kylian's motive for pretending to be in a relationship with you a bit unusual, as he is only doing so to evoke jealousy in someone else, you try to avoid dwelling on it too much and instead focus on the pleasure of having him as your pretend boyfriend. Besides, you've harbored feelings for him for quite some time, so being able to play the role of his girlfriend, even if it's just for show, is undoubtedly an enjoyable experience.

 Over the course of the next couple of days, you and Kylian persist in portraying yourselves as a couple, taking several opportunities to immerse yourselves in the romantic ambiance by going on a few dates together.  One day, you and Kylian went to the park for a picnic, and he brought along a basket of your favorite food. You two sat on the blanket, basking in the sun and talking about anything and everything. He even brought a futbol, and you two kicked it around until you were both out of breath. Another day, he took you to a fancy restaurant in the city. You dressed up for the occasion, and he looked dashing in a suit. You both ordered fancy dishes and talked about your dreams and aspirations. You felt like you were in a movie, and you savored every moment of it.  You're loving the fantasy relationship that's happening, as it's something you've always wished for.

Kylian seems to be enjoying it too, and the more you spend time together, the more you start to notice how comfortable he is with you. You've known each other for years, but it's as if you're getting to know him all over again. The way he smiles at you, the way he touches your hand, the way he looks into your eyes - it all feels different now.

As the weekend of the special event approaches, the excitement in the air is palpable. You and Kylian have been getting more comfortable with each other with each passing day, and the prospect of being seen as a couple in public is exhilarating. Kylian had insisted that you get ready at his house instead of meeting at the venue, just in case someone sees the two of you arrive separately and questions the authenticity of your relationship. You obliged and now you are in his guest bathroom getting ready. You hum to yourself as you place the finishing touches on your makeup. You've opted for a natural look, accentuating your best features with just a hint of shimmer. You take a deep breath and turn to your outfit, laid out neatly on the bed. It's a Whitney Sequin Maxi dress in black, with sparkles all over that catch the light and make you feel like a star. The dress drapes down the middle, allowing just a little bit of cleavage to show. It's a perfect balance of sophistication and sexiness, and you know that Kylian will love it. You slip into the dress and check yourself out in the full-length mirror. It fits like a glove and makes you feel like a million bucks.

As you slip on your black red bottom high heels, you feel a sense of confidence wash over you. You know that you look gorgeous, and you can't wait to show off your outfit to Kylian.

“Y/N The driver is here!,” Kylian's voice echoes through the hallway, you hurriedly grab your phone and earrings before heading towards the living room. The clicking sound of your heels against the marble floor is the only noise that fills the air. As you turn the corner and meet Kylian's gaze, you feel your cheeks flush at the intensity of his stare. Despite the fact that you've been spending more time together as part of your fake relationship, you can't help but feel a jolt of nervousness whenever he looks at you like this.

"Wow," he says, his eyes roaming over your figure. A smile spreads across his lips as he takes in the sight of you. "You look absolutely stunning, Y/N."

Even though you know this relationship is only a facade, it's difficult to resist the way his words make you feel. You've been trying to keep your true feelings for him hidden, but the more time you spend together, the harder it becomes. You take a deep breath and try to compose yourself before replying, "Thanks, Kylian."

He steps towards you and takes your hand, leading you towards the front door. "Let's take a few photos before we head out," he suggests, pulling out his phone. 

You both approach the large mirror that is located near the entrance door and start to arrange yourselves. As he wraps his arm around your waist, you lean into him, feeling a sense of comfort and familiarity wash over you. To add a touch of mystery to the photo, you decide to hide behind the phone so that only your body is visible in the mirror picture. As you strike a pose, Kylian's hand moves from your waist to your back, pulling you in closer. The warmth of his body against yours sends shivers down your spine, and you can't help but wonder if he feels the same way. But you push those thoughts aside, reminding yourself that this is just for show. 

Kylian's hand lingers on your waist, and you can't help but feel a sense of comfort and belonging. As he admires the photo on his phone, you nod in agreement that it looks fantastic. Watching him post the photo on his Instagram story, you realize that his arm is still wrapped around you. The touch of his hand sends shivers down your spine, and you wonder if he feels the same way you do. "Annnd posted," Kylian chuckles, looking down at you with a gleam in his eyes. "Ready to go, my beloved?" His endearment catches you off guard, and you can feel your heart racing in your chest. You smile in response and nod your head, feeling a surge of warmth spreading throughout your body. Kylian removes his arm from your waist and takes your hand, leading you outside. While walking you say, "Kylian, you don't have to hold my hand, you know. It's just the driver,"giggling softly. He simply shrugs before opening the car door for you. "I know, but I wanted to," he replies, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

You smile and roll your eyes playfully as you step into the car and buckle up, still feeling the warmth of Kylian's hand in yours. As the car pulls out of the driveway, you can't help but feel a tinge of sadness knowing that this will be the last time you'll be pretending to be Kylian's girlfriend. But for the moment, you push those thoughts aside and focus on the present, enjoying the feeling of Kylian's company.

"So, are you excited for tonight?" Kylian asks, breaking the comfortable silence in the car.

You turn to face him and smile, "Of course, You know I'm never one to back down for free food and drinks."

Kylian chuckles, "So that's why you always ask to come over to my house,huh?"

You smile, "Maybe, maybe not. The world may never know."

The rest of the car ride is spent in comfortable silence, with the occasional small talk between you and Kylian.Your excitement and nervousness increase as the car approaches the event location since you can already see the glamor and beauty of the occasion. You didn't anticipate the size of the event to be that large when you anticipated attending a private one. Of course, you should have anticipated it would be a significant occasion when it comes to Kylian.

Kylian steps out of the car and offers his hand to help you out, "Shall we?"

You smile, nodding your head, “Yes we shall.”

Together, you both make your way inside the venue, with Kylian's arm around your waist once again. You can feel the eyes of the guests on you as you make your entrance, and you make sure to keep your head held up high. That's something that you did not have to fake, of course you would look prideful knowing that the man of your dreams is by your side. With Kylian's reassuring presence by your side, you feel confident and ready to face whatever the night has in store for you. With Kylian's hand still resting on your hips, he leans down and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart flutter with warmth. You smile up at him, admiring how his features soften with the small gesture. "I'm going to head over to see Hakimi for a bit, okay?" he says, pulling away from you. You nod in understanding, though you can't help but feel a pang of disappointment. You love spending time with Kylian, and you two  just got there, so you thought maybe you two would at least spend some time together for a bit before separating. As he turns to leave, you watch him go with a twinge of longing. You know of Hakimi, of course, but you don't know him well enough to be considered friends. You sigh, pushing the thoughts away, and turn your attention to getting a drink. Walking over to the bar, you smile at the bartender and order a strawberry margarita. While you wait, you hum a tune to yourself and glance around the room. Your eyes eventually land on Kylian, who's now deep in conversation with his friend. Your gaze lingers on him for a moment, taking in how attractive he looks tonight. His sharp jawline and piercing eyes make your heart skip a beat. You can't help but think about how lucky you are to be dating such a wonderful person. 

you mean, be friends with such a wonderful person.

Lost in your thoughts, you're startled when someone clears their throat beside you. "Oh, I'm sorry," you quickly say, realizing that you might be in the way of someone else trying to order a drink. When you turn to face the person, you're surprised to see Amora standing there. You're a bit taken aback by her sudden presence, but you try not to show it.

"You're together with Kylian, right?" she asks, getting straight to the point. You nod, still feeling a bit confused as to why she's approaching you this way. Doesn't she have a new boyfriend? She simply nods her head and turns around to look at Kylian. You watch her for a moment, feeling a bit uneasy, but then you remind yourself that Kylian is with you, not her. 

Just then, the bartender hands you your drink, and you thank him before turning to leave. You can feel Amora's eyes on you as you walk away, but you try not to let it bother you. You make your way back to Kylian, feeling a sense of relief wash over you as you see him waiting for you with a smile on his face.

"Wow, thank you for getting me a drink," Kylian says, teasing you with a playful smirk, as he takes the drink from your hand and takes a sip, leaving you pouting in mock indignation. "Heyyy, I didn't even get to taste it yet!" you complain, playfully tugging at his arm to retrieve your drink. He chuckles as he watches you take a sip, enjoying the moment with you.

Kylian chuckles lightly as he watches you drink, but then his gaze shifts, and you follow his line of sight to see what has caught his attention. You see her, the girl from his past, standing across the room. Your heart skips a beat, and a pang of jealousy flares up, but you try to brush it off.

Kylian continues to stare at her, and you can see his jaw clenched in frustration. It's clear that she's on his mind, and you feel a mix of emotions - insecurity, doubt, and a desire to comfort him.

In an impulsive move, you reach out and grab his hand, leading him towards the dance floor, hoping to distract him from his thoughts. "Come on, let's dance!" you say, quickly downing your drink and placing it on a random table before tugging him along with you.

You dance with abandon, not caring if you look silly or not, as long as it makes Kylian happy. At first, he watches you with amusement, but eventually he joins in and begins to have a good time. You smile, grateful that you could make him forget about his worries, even if it was just for a moment.

At first, Kylian watches your "horrible attempts" at dancing with an amused grin. You laugh and give him a playful nudge, urging him to join in. And gradually, you start to see his mood shift as he lets loose and starts moving to the music. As you dance together, you can feel the chemistry between you two, and it's like the rest of the world fades away. You catch glimpses of Kylian's smile, and it warms your heart to see him having a good time. It feels like he's only focusing on you, and it fills you with a sense of joy and satisfaction. The music pumps up, and you both lose yourselves in the rhythm, spinning and twirling, laughing and smiling. It's a moment of pure bliss, and you're grateful for this connection you share with Kylian.

After what feels like an eternity of dancing, the song ends, and you both catch your breath, still smiling at each other. Kylian pulls you close, his eyes locking with yours, and you can see the gratitude and affection in his gaze.

"Y/N, you truly mean a lot to me," he whispers softly, his voice filled with sincerity. You brush a stray strand of hair from his face and smile back at him. "And you mean a lot to me too," you reply, feeling a surge of love for him.

Kylian and Amora walked over to one of the tables situated around the dance floor and began to engage in a heated conversation. Kylian's eyes scanned the surroundings, not wanting to look at her directly. "Shouldn't you be with your new man right now?" he asked, his tone laced with disdain.

Amora snapped back, her voice tinged with jealously. "Shouldn't you be with your new girlfriend? Yet, you are here with me," she retorted sharply. Kylian was taken aback by her response and was about to leave when she grabbed his arm, whining, "Kyky, I'm jokinggggg," and grasping his hand. "Babe, why don't we go somewhere more private, huh?" she suggested, cupping his cheek. "I miss you."

Kylian was lost in thought, his eyes wandering around the room. He spotted you on the dance floor, dancing alone while waiting for his return. Memories of the past few weeks flooded his mind: the picnic you both shared, the way the sun had hit you, making you look even more beautiful, and the fancy dinner where he couldn't help but find you cute while shoving your face with mashed potatoes. These thoughts made him realize that his feelings for you were growing stronger, even though your relationship was supposed to be fake. He had never felt the happiness and love with Amora that he felt with you, even though you were only pretending. Suddenly, Amora's voice interrupted his thoughts. He shook his head slightly, focusing back on her. "Amora, we are done, just like you said. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my girlfriend." He quickly scanned the crowd, but this time, he couldn't find you. "But-" Amora tried to say, but Kylian didn't stick around to hear her out. He pushed his way back into the crowd, determined to find you. As he searched for you, he realized how much he truly cared for you. He couldn't bear the thought of losing you and promised himself that he would tell you how he felt as soon as he found you. Finally, he spotted you in the distance, swaying to the rhythm of the music. A feeling of relief washed over him, and he made his way towards you, his heart beating with anticipation. As Kylian reaches you, he gently takes your hand and pulls you towards him. "Hey, do you mind if we go outside for some fresh air?," he says with a charming smile in an attempt to not make you feel too nervous..

Of course his smile does not help though. You nod, feeling slightly nervous about what he might say. Will he talk about Amora? Are they going to get back together?, your mind begins racing with questions. As you both walk outside, Kylian takes your hand in his and leads you to a more secluded area. He turns to face you and takes a deep breath before he starts speaking.

"I know this might sound crazy, but I've been thinking about us a lot lately. I know this started as a fake relationship, but...I've realized that my feelings for you are real," he says, his voice soft and sincere.

You look at him in shock, not quite sure what to say. Did you hear that right?

"I know this might be sudden, but I just can't deny how I feel anymore. Being with you, even if it's just pretend, has made me realize what I've been missing all this time," Kylian continues, taking a step closer to you.

You feel your heart racing as he leans in, his eyes locked onto yours. "I've never felt this way with anyone else, not even Amora. You make me so happy, and I just can't imagine going back to pretending that we're not together," he says, his voice barely above a whisper.

You take a step closer to him and reach up to cup his cheek, feeling a warmth spreading through your body at his confession. "Kylian, I...I had no idea you felt this way," you say, feeling a smile spreading across your face.

"But now that you've told me...I don't think I can go back to pretending either," you say, your voice soft and filled with emotion.

Kylian smiles at you and leans in, closing the distance between your lips. The kiss is gentle at first, but quickly deepens as you both wrap your arms around each other. It's a moment of pure bliss, and you can feel all the tension and confusion melting away as you realize that this is where you're meant to be.

As you pull away, you look up at Kylian and see a look of pure adoration in his eyes. "Even though this started as being fake, Y/N, Will you be my girlfriend?”

“I don't know…. Will you make me more sandwiches?,” you tease playfully.

He smiles,” Of course, anything for you,” he teases back,  leaning in to kiss you once more.

 You smile and wrap your arms around him, feeling the weight of the world lift off your shoulders. It's not often that you get a chance at true love, but you know that with him by your side, anything is possible. Kylian wraps his arms around you, pulling you close. You rest your head against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat, and you know in your heart that you want to be by his side, no matter what challenges may come your way.

[mulberrysilk]

Illicit Affairs | Z. Yeager

Zeke Yeager x f!reader

summary: an unspoken love hidden from others. An involvement with the Zeke Yeager was akin to a sweet dream. It was reckless and was bound to be tragic with what the Wonder Boy’s ambition will bring. Yet, every time, none dared to speak the three words that might change everything or nothing.

cw: canonverse. unprotected sex, hinted corruption kink, secret relationship. creampie, possessive Zeke Yeager, kinda angsty? praise, zeke calls reader good girl. Zeke is only soft to reader, okay i guess this fic is lowkey sweet but more so bittersweet

wc : 5.3k

a/n : it has been very long while and I'm mid away S4 part 2 of AOT but am now watching Bleach just cause. So here is a Zeke fic that's been sitting in my drafts for a long time with a lot of other drafts. I will also start posting some fics when I make an ao3 acc! Again, I'm sorry for being gone for a long time but I'll try to write more because I do miss it and I miss interacting with everyone here too.

Special thanks to @iwaasfairy for beta-reading this! ♥︎

That’s thing about illicit affairs  and clandestine meetings and longing stares

It’s born from just one single glance but it dies and it dies, and it dies

A million little times

“How about you?” The ravenette nodded at your direction, a gentle yet playful smile adorning her face. The sleepy and calm look in her eyes was ever present but now had a shimmer of curiosity. 

“What about me?” 

“Have you been seeing anyone?” Pieck’s grin widened, especially when you froze momentarily. All fell eyes on you now. 

You nervously laughed and played it off by pouring yourself another serving of wine. Little did you know, two pairs of eyes were curiously keen to know the answer, they stared at you with anticipation, and Pieck knew this. 

“Yeah, let me know, so I could beat him up. Give him a good scare,” Galliard smirked, clenching his fist and flexing his bicep to further his point. 

“You won’t have to scare anyone,” you interjected immediately but like being shot with an unexpected arrow to the back or as if being caught sneaking around to steal something, you tensed. The all too familiar burning stare made your skin prickle and your body shiver. Swallowing the lump in your throat and maintaining your composure, you continued. “There’s nobody.” 

To make it even more believable you offered your friends a smile.

The blond across you exhaled as if he held his breath. “If there was somebody, she would tell us. We don’t have to pry like this.” 

Pieck pursed her lips, eyes teasing and in disbelief. “Oh? Well, I’m just teasing her, Reiner.” 

You chuckled and reached to the back of your neck, your senses tingling from the knowing feeling of what it’s like to be in his presence. 

“Plus, people know better than to go after our Y/N.” Porco huffed, leaning back into the cushioned booth seat,  a strand of ashy blond hair falling from its slicked body. “We’re not letting some good for nothing idiot anywhere near her.”

“How protective of you, Pock.” Pieck mused, your ears not picking up a lot as your head buzzed with the effects of wine. “And do you think you’re not a good for nothing idiot?” 

He was here. You could feel him. As you stared into the glass, the still body of deep red reflected your face. 

“Hey, kid.” A hand gently squeezed your shoulder. The warm touch made you shudder as your teeth clenched. Don’t call me, kid. Something about that made your heart sink a little and yet his touch lingered as everyone acknowledged his appearance. 

“What’s Pieck tormenting you with this time?” He asked, voice void of sarcasm one would really think he was serious but that’s him. He says some things seriously with a humour he only understood. 

“I’m not tormenting her,” she giggled, glancing at you as Zeke causally stood behind you, not taking a seat in the booth you four were sat. “Just asking about our dear little crybaby’s love life.” 

“Oh?”

“There’s not much to tell because she claims she doesn’t have one.” 

His thumb gently drew circles on the back of your shoulder, your heart picking up at the gesture. You raised your gaze from the wine and up to him. His defined jaw and the sinews of his neck as he spoke were the first thing you gathered before moving to his lips, his cheekbones, his nose and his eyes.  You weren’t sure if it was the buzz of the wine getting to you, making you feel all soft and fuzzy but this was a face you had gazed upon many a night. Sometimes you wondered why he hid his handsome face with his golden beard. Not that you were complaining, oh no. The hair that framed his mouth and jaw added a kind of wisdom to him, it made his overall countenance even more unreadable. 

“How is she supposed to have one when you’ve got these two,” he tilted his head slightly to the direction of the two men sat across from you. “…Colt and even the kids, guarding her like a hawk?” Zeke jested. 

How indeed. 

“She could be having a secret love affair?” Pieck suggested with a sly smile, winking at your direction.

But all you could think about was how you disliked it when Zeke called you kid. 

Soft linen kissed the bare skin of your back and your head rested upon a cloud soft pillow. Your whole body tingled as if slowly being set aflame, sparks ignited with every single caress from callous yet gentle hands. The bitter taste of tobacco lingered on his pink lips that you’d never imagined to be this soft and yet there was a sweetness to them that you can’t quite place but you craved for more. 

His hands run down your sides and paused at your hips, giving them a gentle squeeze, feeling them as if checking that he was really touching you as his lips refused to leave yours. When they did he found himself wanting to kiss every part of you and he had the rest of the long night to do so. Your lips parted slightly with a soft gasp escaping when his lips, hot, kissed and suckled at the curve of your neck. Your legs shivered to close, wanting to rub against each other for some kind of friction but he was between them as he pinned you beneath him, worshipping you with every kiss and caressing you with adoration.

He felt the way your thighs tried to close, squeezing his waist gently. He couldn’t hold back the smirk that formed on his face as he continued to kiss you, bringing his knee up to your mound.

“Z-Zeke!” You had gasped, your hands gripping his shoulders squeezed him at the sudden pressure of where you began to ache.

“That’s a beautiful rendition of my name, sweetheart,” he murmured against your skin. “I’m looking forward to hearing more.” 

Zeke didn’t know what was awoken in him to even try with you. All he knew was he wanted you and that every time you had to leave after being with him and your shared friends, he’d rather go home with you than watch you go. He sought after you in ways he shouldn’t and believed he couldn’t care for. He didn’t know what exactly it was. Was it because his term with his Titan was ending? Maybe he just wanted to live a little? Let loose before he dies? He was too intoxicated by just you to even contemplate an answer, it’s even more difficult when he could feel your supple soft skin beneath his calloused tainted hands, hear your titillating breaths and feel warmth emanating from your body. 

It felt like a crime to be this close to you. To touch you. He couldn’t help but be audacious when he had seen you from across the room, seated by the bar and in  a conversation with Pieck. He had wondered what she had said to you that made you flush and bloom so prettily that the sudden idea of other parts of you being that same shade of flush crossed his mind. He could’ve stayed away. He should’ve. But when you caught him staring at you from afar and you held his gaze, he knew that something was lit aflame. 

Then it happened over and over again. Longing stares, a glint in his eye and a soft nod of your head and a smile to silently acknowledge him. Over and over til small talk became in depth conversations, til soft short touches lingered and became bolder. 

Till it all filled a chalice that was full and now was overflowing endlessly. All that so he could now feel your skin against his, your lips on his lips and be completely and utterly drunk on all of you. 

“T-take these off.” You huffed when you lied back down, annoyed with the fabrics that separated the two of you. 

“Impatient are we?” He grinned, leaning back to full height and kneeling between you. You rolled your eyes at the smug look on his face but when he discarded his blazer and his fingers worked the buttons of his shirt, you let out a deep breath. It was a shame that his clothes hid away such a toned frame, a body that was trained rigorously for years and one that harnessed a Titan. 

“You were the one who kissed me first,” you pointed out, still admiring his physique illuminated by moonlight. 

“I couldn’t hold myself back anymore.” He threw the shirt away before bringing his attention, not like he wasn’t before, back to you. There you laid on his bed, hair beautifully a mess, only in your shell satin slip,pliant and anticipating, looking up at him with those eyes of yours. He wished he could take a picture. 

“See. You’re the impatient one.” 

“Guilty as charged.” He surrendered easily to you and only you. 

Without wasting another precious moment, his lips claimed yours and he would claim it over and over again if he had to. You were sweet. Too sweet. Too much of a good thing that he shouldn’t ruin because God knows the sins he had committed. But at the end of the day, he was also a man. A temptation as promising and as beautiful as you was worth a bite. 

Zeke’s hands roamed the expanse of exposed skin, finding that he adored touching the skin of your thighs as he pushed the satin fabric higher and higher, enjoying the way your breath hitched when he caressed your inner thigh. 

“Have you ever had someone before?” He asked, grey eyes looking through long, pretty, dark golden lashes.

“Why?” You caught your lip between your teeth finding the question amusing as you hid your smirk. “Do you want me to say you’re the first?” 

His hands squeezed your thighs, his jaw tightening as he glared. “You’re teasing.” 

“Am I?” You ran your fingers through his blond hair, pushing it back to see his face. He looked agitated and antagonised, and the way he looked at you like this made you want to push his buttons more. Did it bother him if someone else did touch you? Was he a territorial kind of man? 

His thumbs dug into the flesh of your thighs. “Answer my question.” 

You kept his gaze and let your smile unfold, and he didn’t like that. But you looked so god damn beautiful, smiling down at him like that with your secrets and leaving him on the edge, wondering if you’ll indulge him with what you hid behind that confident expression.

“Why?” You weren’t letting up, your fingers untangling from his locks, his eyes followed  your hand and how it traced your collarbone then slowly down between the valley of your breasts. “You’re wondering if I’ve been touched here?” 

“Yes.” He replied, hands sliding up to grip your hips now. 

“No...and nowhere else.” 

Zeke muttered a swear and your smile remained, finding it amusing how the great Zeke Yeager, the Wonder Boy and War Chief, was acting. You’ve never seen him like this or even imagined him to be like this. 

“Good.” He spoke, moving up so that his face was levelled with yours, his frame caging you. “Because I would make sure you’ll forget whoever it  was.” 

“Didn’t know you were so possessive, War Chief.” You batted your lashes, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth.  “It’s a new look on you.” 

“You are a tease.” 

“A secret love affair?” Galliard scoffed as if the possibility of it was so far-fetched. He was in denial of it.

“Is that so hard to believe?” Pieck smirked knowingly at  Porco’s reaction. His annoyance was written all over his face at the thought of someone else getting to you first. “Well, is it?” 

The ravenette was met with silence and you gave your two male friends in front of you a sheepish smile. You weren’t going to say anything. You couldn’t. Not with how things were. 

Far away from peering eyes and gossiping lips, you were his. You knew that. He made sure you knew. It was hard to not remember when every time you two would meet, your skin would have evidence of your time together. His lips would kiss and brandish your skin with marks that would take days to fade and if they did, he’d make sure  to kiss and nip at you again. 

In the privacy of his apartment, he was yours in the way every woman dreamed a man could be. Dressed in his shirts that smelled like him, you’d wander the rooms, going through his collection of books and sometimes making the two of you meals. He freely doted on you and flirted, took care of you and was a different person with you. On the other hand, Zeke could watch you forever but he had never confessed that out loud. Watching you go about his home as if you lived there too, as if you and him were in a world where nothing constrained him, had glimpses of  a future cross his mind. Zeke reminded himself that they were nothing but fantasies. An impossible dream. 

You were his and he was yours, and yet at the table, or in public, you didn’t know what you two were supposed to be. 

“I’m going to call it a night.” You yawned, slowly getting up feeling your lover's hand slip down your back. His touch was gone briefly and you already missed it. What an idiotic, lovesick fool he’s made you. “We should do this again sometime.” 

“Definitely.” Reiner smiled your way and you returned it, unaware of how his expression softened to quiet adoration but a pair of steel grey eyes knew that look too well. 

“I’ll walk the lady home.” Zeke casually announced, not raising any alarms in anyone’s heads. Meanwhile, your heart skipped when he had said that. 

“Sure you won’t stay? You haven’t even sat down to drink?” Galliard asked, hoping he could take over the duty of walking you home. 

“Just saw you all from the window and decided to drop by. Can’t drink tonight, I have a meeting with the top brass tomorrow morning.” Zeke declined courteously, the younger warriors nodding in acknowledgement.

“There’s always next time.” Pieck chirped, not thinking much of how the blond helped you with your coat. Everyone knew how Zeke took care of you. It’s always been like that ever since you all were young. 

“Next round is on me.” He placed a couple of bills on the table, Porco cheering at the treat as you waved at them and excused yourself for the night, Zeke following you three steps behind.

The streets were empty at this hour, dim yellow lights lit the road with white blankets of fallen snow on the ground and that same white was sprinkled on the rooftops. You could feel his gaze on your back and smell the thick scent of tobacco from the cigarette between his lips. You wished he was closer but you didn’t ask for too much with all the unanswered questions of your relationship with him.

“Where’s your scarf?” He asked.

“Oh, I must’ve—,” 

He draped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you close, the intimacy and the sudden closeness catching you off guard. “You’re going to catch a cold if you keep forgetting.” 

“Mhm.” You nodded. That was all you could manage from your shock and fluster. He didn’t pull away after passing four street lamps, he continued to walk by your side as if he should be and as if this was an everyday occurrence, but to you it was so much more. You wished your heart could stop beating so fast so you could really cherish the moment.

“Yours or mine?” He asked when the two of you reached the cross section, his arm still pulling you close to his side, his warmth keeping you from shivering from the cold. 

“I thought you had a meeting with the top brass tomorrow…I don’t want to keep you up.” 

“Mhm, but you will.” He responded with a playful sing song voice all you could was shake your head and softly laugh. 

Your place wasn’t much compared to what he has as Marley’s Wonder Boy and War Chief, and yet when you least expected it he’d drop by, saying he was just passing and then you let him in for coffee or tea which always led to you and him tangled in the sheets. The same goes for his place, except there it felt more like home to you. Somewhere completely safe and guarded. 

“Yours.” You answered, leaning your head against him and he gently squeezed you tightly as a response before turning left, to the direction of his home. 

In the dim hallway, the keys rattled against each other as he unlocked the door, his half embrace around you gone for the time being. You rocked yourself on the balls and heels of your feet watching with butterflies in your tummy as he opened the door. Like a gentleman, he held it open and gestured for you to head in first. 

You shook your head, smiled, and stepped in. You looked around the apartment, very minimalist as always but homey in its own way. You removed your coat and folded it neatly to hang on the armchair. Plain white curtains, sand coloured sofa with matching cushions, a coffee table with books stacked on its surface as well as several folded newspapers from the days before and a crystal ashtray that had been your gift to him. 

The door clicked shut  and locked behind you, you exhaled feeling the comfort of his home wash over you. You turned to him. 

“Should I make coffee for the both—

You didn’t finish your offer as his lips on yours stopped you from doing so. His hands held your waist and pulled you against him. 

“No coffee, just you.” He managed to say in between kisses, his hands sliding down to the curve of your ass and even lower, a signal you knew all too well. You did as he asked, bouncing once so he could support you in wrapping your legs around his waist.  “Good girl.” He hummed with praise, before clashing his lips against yours again, easily carrying you to the direction of his bedroom. 

God, you loved hearing every praise that poured from those lips of his. 

Clothes came off quickly and were discarded along the way. His hands roamed the expanse of your body, caressing every curve and every spot that he had memorised would make you shiver in the sweet way you do. He knew your body and soul, and you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t love him. It was hard not to, especially when you’re lying on your back, breathless from hot kisses and heavy petting, on the edge of anticipation, caged beneath his frame with his handsome face hovering inches away from yours. He’d always, even in the heat of every passionate moment, have a little pause as if just to look at you, to savour the moment. It never failed to make you blush. To be subject to his intense gaze laced with desire and something that you could not read. 

Why did it have to be Zeke Yeager? 

Little did you know, in his head, every time he gazed upon your flushed and glistening face, he wondered about how you could’ve been with Galliard or Reiner, any other man you wanted. The thought of anyone else looking upon you and touching you like this made his chest sizzle with green jealousy. He wanted you to be his and in this moment, when you’re lying beneath him, plush lips parted and waiting for more, he’s reminded that you were his. 

Zeke hissed softly, torn from his epiphany when he felt the softness of your fingers wrap around his length, gliding up and down gently. You lined his cock to your entrance, the man before you amused by your impatience. He could feel the dampness leaking from you on his hot tip and it took everything in him to not grab your hips and fuck you then and there. 

“Z-Zeke…” you whine, pouting up at him. “P-please?” 

“How badly do you need me?” He asked, sliding his length beneath your folds, a breathy moan leaving you as it brushed against your clit. 

“B-bad.” You managed to say, your hands resting on his back. “Please.” Your lips trembled with want, Zeke unable to maintain his composure. “I want you. Need to feel you.” You began to rock your hips against his length, trying to get some sort of relief from the searing ache he had caused. God, he loved it when you were like this. 

Obliging to your cute sweet begging, he entered you painfully and deliciously slow. The heat of your walls wrapped snugly around him, fluttering and tightening at the intrusion, making him groan softly against your forehead while you moaned at the sensation of being finally filled. Each and every time, the beginning was a spreading warmth of euphoria.

Zeke’s teeth gritted against each other and he swore as he bottomed out, remaining still to just feel you. His pelvis pressed against yours, soft moans fell from your lips at the sensation of him inside of you as if all your secret trysts hadn’t made you used to him. How were you able to make him feel like this? So desperate, hot and bothered, and insatiable for your touch and attention. A rough hand gripped your hip, while the other steadied him to prevent him from crushing you with his frame. 

“You gotta let me know if I can move, sweetheart.” There was a hint of tease in his voice but he needed your green light as always. The last thing he wanted was to hurt you. Your arms tugged him close, allowing you that comfort. He listened as you took a shaky breath, your hips wiggling to have a feel. A moan left you as you did, giving him the answer he needed. “I swear,” he muttered, his hands assisting your legs to wrap around his waist. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He wished that could be true. 

Your heart skipped a beat at his words but that sweetness was overtaken with hot passionate need, when he rolled his hips, cock smoothly sliding between your walls. Your back arched into him, breasts pressing against his chest as you moaned and shuddered at the sensation. God, you needed more. 

“Good girl.” He kissed your cheek, thrusting and began to set a steady pace, all restraint leaving him with the way you tightened around him with the praise as his name fell so sweetly over and over from your lips.  

Shared soft moans and the sound of skin slapping against skin filled the room. The city outside was silent and the heat of your bodies fought off the cold bite of the winter breeze. Your nails sunk themselves in the skin of his back, the throbbing pleasure within your walls toe curling good. Zeke rather adored the marks your cute little claws would leave, he would always glance at them in the mirror post-sex when he has a chance before his regeneration makes it fade. 

If you had any sort of shame within you, you’d be embarrassed at how you panted and moaned for him. Your desire for him was painfully obvious. His hips rhythmically colliding against yours emitted obscene wet squelching, your cunt greedily welcoming his thick length as you felt every inch of him against your plush walls.

“You’re only this wet for me aren’t you?” He teased, his hand on your hip assisting your left leg to hook around his hips, allowing him to angle himself in the way that you liked that all you could do to respond to him was whine. “That’s it. Good girl.” The praise fell so enticingly smooth from his lips, his pace steady but fast. 

Pleasure bloomed through you, the tightening feeling in your core cooling tighter and tighter, close to snapping. The heat, his skin, his voice, everything. You wanted it. You wanted to be his forever. You wantonly begged for more, your nails carving crescent dents into his back as he rolled his hips over and over with burning lust. This was the closest you’ll ever be with him. The closest he’s going to allow you to be with him. 

“Fuck, I’m close.” Zeke grunted, hips not faltering from its pace and hands gripping your hips tighter. The blond chased his high, slamming his pelvis against yours, driving his cock into your plush pulsating walls and watching how you stared up at him with those lustful heavy lidded eyes. “You’re close too huh?” The sound of his voice made your walls tighten around him, Zeke groaning at the feeling. “Tell me what you want, sweetheart.” 

“You. Want you…make me come please.” You whined, brought closer to the edge when you felt one his hands leave your hip to splay itself over your lower belly, palm pressing against your skin and his thumb against your clit. You moaned out his name, your hips bucking at the added stimulation.

You didn’t have to tell Zeke twice. You were so good. So obedient. So sweet. So cute even like this, moaning and whining with pleasure, your breasts bouncing with every thrust and  the lips of your pussy split by his cock, walls hugging him so snugly. He can never get tired of this, of you. 

Zeke’s pace stuttered. Your walls squeezed him tighter and tighter, so close to your climax. Your voice was getting higher and louder too. His name fell from your lips like chants from a devoted worshipper begging their God to grant them their wishes. It boosted his ego as if it wasn’t already big enough, and he continued to rub circles on your clit, watching your lips part in a silent scream, your eyes shutting as you succumbed to your climax. 

No. He wanted you to look at him. 

The hand that remained on your hip, wrapped around your throat, your eyes fluttering open. Your brows furrowed as you huffed and panted, you looked up at him as if to ask what he was doing. His darkened unwavering gaze told you exactly what he wanted and your shoulders dropped, relaxing as the piling build up of your orgasm doubled. Zeke gently squeezed your pretty neck, surprised to feel your walls tighten around him. Did you like that? “C’mon, just keep looking at me, sweetheart. Let me see you.”

Your head was spinning from pleasure, your thoughts being nothing but how good his hot length moved inside of you and how you were tingling intensely with pleasure. The circular pattern when he massaged your clit quickened and the next thrust he gave kissed your g-spot so suddenly, the tightening coil within you snapped. 

Zeke groaned at the wetness that coated his cock as your walls spasmed around him, sucking him in he could only shallowly thrust, your legs wrapped tightly around him. He was so close, so damn close and  there it was. That drunken lustful look that haunted his dreams and appeared in every impure fantasy. His fingers left your throat, opting to cradle your face as he managed a couple more thrusts before completely forgetting himself, already lost the moment his skin kissed yours. 

You sucked in a deep breath, never breaking from his gaze and watching his eyes shut in bliss. His blond hair glistened in the dim room, strands stuck to his forehead gleaming with perspiration and his soft lips were parted ever so slightly, his face just completely relaxed and rapturous. You were so caught up in your own haze that you didn’t fully register the unfamiliar warmth that bloomed in your insides. 

Zeke doesn’t separate his hips from yours, he instead wrapped his arms around you, wanting to pepper your chest with kisses before nestling his forehead into the curve of your neck, still in his high. You wrap your own arms around him, your hand caressing the back of his head, running your fingers through his golden locks, just relishing this closeness. Your heart was in your throat, torn from saying the three words you don’t dare to say but would die to hear from him. 

The two of you stayed like that for awhile, your body already felt the fatigue catch up. As you slowly drifted to sleep, you could still feel Zeke lazily kiss along your neck. You fell asleep easily, remembering the sensation of his lips on each eyelid and him softly saying that he’ll take care of you before you fully passed out. 

Only then did Zeke slowly untangle himself from you, pausing when he realised his cock was still buried inside of you. “Fuck.” He cursed under his breath, pushing his hair back as he scolded himself for his mistake. It was careless of him. He couldn’t believe he lost  control like that.   Not letting himself lose composure and not wanting to wake you, not with how peacefully you slept, he slowly pulled out. His mind was blank as he stared bewildered at a sight that should’ve felt like a sharp slap  in the face, instead he felt hot to his core. Between your puffy lips, milky white leaked from your hole and unto the bed. He should be ashamed of himself… not like this. Gently with his thumb, he split your folds apart just watching as whatever of his seed overflowed from your full womb. God, why was that thought driving him mad? He could feel himself getting hard again at the sight. He had always, always, pulled out…finished on your skin, either your back, your ass, your tits, your stomach, your face. Never inside. It was against his creed. But fuck, he wanted to do it again. 

“Mhm…” you hummed in your sleep, shifting a little, fingers sleepily feeling the bed for the duvet. 

Zeke was snapped out of his trance, his eyes moved to your face, seeing you still in peace. The post sex glow lit your features and he’s reminded to go grab a towel and clean you up. Knelt again before you, he softly swiped the cloth along your inner thighs, his eyes drifting to your pussy stained with his cum. He should clean that up first.  

He didn’t know if he should apologise. He probably should. What he did was beyond careless. It was irresponsible. It’s against everything he fought for…and yet, that image of a happy family flashed his mind again. You, him and a babe in this apartment. He hasn’t got long so he shouldn’t even think about it. He should never think about it. 

“Zeke…” you murmured his name, eyes still shut, your hand heavily sliding itself on his side of the bed, brows furrowing ever so slightly at the emptiness. 

“I’m here, sweetheart.” He answered softly, resuming to clean up the mess he made. 

“Come…sleep…” 

“I’ll have a smoke first.” He gently dabbed the towel on your sensitive core, successfully having fought the curious urge to shove his cum back into your cunt with his fingers. What were you doing to him? 

“Okay…” your voice grew softer, turning to your side. Zeke covered your naked body with the duvet so that he's not tempted…

Out in the balcony with his trousers hanging low on his hips,  he inhaled deeply the fumes of the cigarette, finding comfort in the small little stick. What was he doing? He turned his thoughts over and over like pages in a book in search of pieces that would fit together to give him a solid conclusion.

In that ten minute smoke session he knew one thing for sure.

He was screwed.

[mabelstone]

Beloved

matt stone x reader

summary: chapter six of Professor Stone

word count: 3064

note: i tried to incorporate all of your ideas and my next post will be crediting you all! not super happy with the start but i hope the ending satisfies you as much as it did me 😌 next chap will be the final </3 hence why this was a longer one xx

also eric is eric stough (i know he's nothing like the character portrayed in this but go along with it) not cartman. i would like to make that VERY clear.

masterlist can be found here <3

Thankfully, figuring a way to make your taboo love affair work didn't involve having to drop calculus. You thanked your lucky stars for that one. You'd since had to relocate your... sessions though, as a few of your cocky classmates raised their suspicions in class.

It went a little something like:

"Alright, before you all finally get out of here, any further questions?" Your professor queried to the class, leaning carelessly against his desk as he always did. It was strange, his arrogance used to make you roll your eyes but now it caused your heart to squeeze painfully and your cheeks ache from smiling.

"Actually, yeah, I have a question." Someone from the back of the class spoke, sitting next to Trey and a few of their other friends, gaining the attention of most of the class. Your professor waited expectantly, unamused by the way Trey and his friends were suppressing laughter. "How come Y/N stays back after, like, every single class? It just seems a bit weird."

You felt your cheeks glow red as the eyes of your classmates turned to you instead, your heart rate beginning to pick up. Hushed murmurs rose throughout the room, your professor clearing his throat with arms folded across his chest. You quickly glanced over to him, but his eyes never moved from the boys at the back of the room. It was like power play for him, he was near impossible to crack. "Are you suggesting something? Because if you're going to be a smart ass in my class, you could at least have the balls to enlighten us."

You looked up at Matt with pleading eyes, praying he would just dismiss the class so you could all go home and forget about this. But then you remembered who was in charge here, and he was not looking at you. You sunk into your seat, overwhelmingly embarrassed as you heard Trey and his friends laughing. Your professor remaining uneasily calm as he approached the boys' table.

"Come on wise guy, tell me what your hypothesis is," he taunted, voice composed, almost condescending.

Another one of the males, Eric, spoke up in a similarly cocky tone, "well, we all think you're screwing her." The next part he said under his breath, making your heart sink and your stomach turn; "which is strange... we thought she was frigid 'cause she blue balled Trey a few times."

Just like that, Matt's fuse blew. "Everyone out, now." He commanded angrily, pupils blown, hands balled into fists. The class collected their things, piling out without hesitation. The boys from the back started packing up with shit-eating grins, evoking a very stern, "uh-uh. You three stay. You too, Y/N," from your professor.

You stayed in your seat, absolutely dumbfounded at what just happened. Trey looked just as embarrassed as you, not humoured by the situation anymore. He moved to sit in the chair next to you while Matt instructed his goons to move to the front as well.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N," Trey spoke hushed, sympathetically. He grabbed your hand in his own, rubbing his thumb over your soft skin as you sat frozen in disbelief. "I didn't know he was gonna say that, I'm-"

"Hands off her, Parker," your professor scolded, leaning his back against his desk with folded arms again. The four of you were lined up in front of him like high schoolers in detention, and you could tell Matt was secretly loving every moment of it.

"See, dude! He is fucking her," one of them snickered, the other (Dian was his name, maybe) joining in, throwing his hands up in defence.

"No shade, sir, everyone's thought about fucking her at least once." He continued, sizing you up with his eyes. You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, unable to make eye contact with anyone. Usually, you'd bite back, but when they were actually close to finding the truth - the truth that could get you expelled and your controversial love interest fired - you couldn't even think straight. "Trey's the only lucky one who's been close enough this year, at least. Oh, besides you, sir. But you don't mind sloppy seconds, right?"

He grabbed the cocky student's desk, ripping it out from in front of him and practically throwing it across the room. "You do not speak about her like that. And you definitely do not disrespect me like that," he shouted loud, veins bulging from his neck and forehead. "The next one of you to open your mouth will be sorry, and I promise that." Eric and Dian had stopped laughing at this point, realising they'd maybe taken it too far.

Matt straightened up, satisfied with the painful silence that filled the room now. He took a deep breath to compose himself, clearing his throat before continuing. "Apologise to her," he instructed, secretly humoured.

"I'm really so sorry, Y/N," Trey apologised immediately and Matt had to put all of his energy into not bursting out laughing. Instead he nodded to the next in line, Eric, with pursed lips and the perfect poker face.

"R-really?" Eric quirked with a raised brow, this whole situation feeling as degrading as Matt intended. "Um, sorry... Y/N."

"Again, like you mean it," your professor commanded, eyes dark, the faintest grin on his lips. He was loving this. It kind of turned you on.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Eric mumbled, refusing to make eye contact like a child who just got scolded by his mother in front of his friends. Satisfied, Matt's eyes narrowed in on Dian.

"I have nothing to apologise for, dude," Dian scoffed, leaning back in his seat to get a good look at you. "Y/N, is he at least any good?"

Again, your face flushed the deepest red, eyes wide, that sick feeling hitting you like a truck once more. You nearly choked on nothing, eyes immediately begging for Matt to speak up.

"Well done," your professor started with a wide grin, yet there was nothing friendly about his tone. "You'll be hearing from the dean, and you will be removed from my class for sexual harassment. You'll have to retake this class, which isn't until next year. That is, if the dean doesn't expel you on the spot. And trust me, I will try my hardest to make that happen."

"I didn't sexually harass anyone, fuckwit," Dian bit back, even his friends were now shocked at his behaviour. Little did your professor know, he bumped a few lines before coming to class, his inflated ego clearly a result of that. "Besides, I'm graduating next month and final grades have been released."

"You clearly don't understand how any of this works," Matt laughed, all eyes in the room on him. "Next month, you will watch all of your friends graduate, while you are held back another year, or hopefully, kicked out of your degree."

"I'll just drop out then," Dian shrugged. The look on Matt's face made you want to rip his clothes off then and there and have your way with him.

"Good, that'll save me a lot of work, and save you a lot of time as you're clearly not gonna go far in life," Matt seethed, waving his hand dismissively. "Get out of here, better to not waste time or resources on dead heads." The three of them got up and left, Dian spewing a stream of curse words and insults to your professor, only making him laugh incredulously as Dian's friends dragged him out of the theatre.

Once they left, Matt walked over to your desk, kneeling before you. You still had a shocked look on your face, unable to fathom what the fuck all of that was. "You okay, doll?" He spoke gently, a stark contrast to the tone he barked just seconds ago. You just nodded, blinking up at him expressionless. "As long as you're with me, nobody will get away with that."

"We aren't together though, Matt." You sighed with a hint of sadness in your tone as you continued, "I graduate in a month. What happens then? I wont be able to just stay after class."

"I've been thinking about that," he started, taking your hands in his, solemn glazing his eyes as he paused before speaking again. "I want you to be mine. I want everyone to know you're off limits."

You smiled weakly at this, reaching a hand up to cup his face. His attitude had completely changed. It was gentle and sincere, holding your hands as if they'd smash into pieces with any more applied pressure. "I wanna be yours too," you agreed, slowly leaning forward until your lips hovered millimetres away from one another. He ran his thumb over your bottom lip, before pressing the warmest, sweetest kiss to your mouth, smiling into it.

"Come to my house," he offered against your lips. You pulled back for a moment, thinking it through. You looked up at him again, nodding sheepishly in agreement. You didn't know why the thought of being in his space made you so nervous. Maybe because it was all becoming too real?

You stayed back for a bit, listening to him talk to the dean on the phone, dramatising the altercation with Dian... he really wanted him expelled. He gave you a reassuring smile as he wrapped up the phone call, seemingly satisfied with himself. The way he smiled at you made your heart flutter. You hoped he felt it too.

"Appreciate it, sir. You too, bye-bye." He hung up with an exaggerated exhale, eyes wide, causing a small giggle to fall from your lips. "C'mere, bring your phone," he beckoned you over with his fingers, rolling back in his chair for you to sit in his lap. Once you did, you unlocked your phone and he took it from you, adding his number to your contacts. He made his contact name, "Matt ❤️," before laughing and erasing the heart. Once you took your phone back, you added the heart again, feeling him huff a soft breath against your neck.

"I want to shower before I come over, I better head off," you turned to face him, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips before standing up, being held back by a firm grip around your wrist.

"I'll walk you to your car," he offered, standing up as well as if to make the decision for you.

"Are you nuts?" You laughed, dismissing him with the shake of your head. "After that shit? I appreciate it, but I'm a big girl. I'll just see you later."

"No, fuck them." He retorted, grabbing his own belongings before turning off the lights. "For all anyone else knows, you're shaken up from the harassment, and would feel safer with a big, strong man with you."

"My knight in shining armour," you mocked with a faux swoon, earning an eye roll from your professor.

“Don’t push it,” he warned, turning off the lights in the hall before walking you out.

You didn’t speak much on the walk to your car, though a warm, secure feeling lingered in the space between you. You’d never been out of the theatre together and it felt almost domestic having him walk you to your car. It was pretty late as your class ended at 7pm; nearly everyone had left the campus, give or take a few.

“Text me, okay? I’ll be home in like, thirty minutes.” He opened your door for you, causing a pretty pink blush to paint across your cheeks. He was leaning one arm on the side of your car, head tilted down at you as you climbed in the front seat. He was wearing that black fitted button up that made your cervix beg to be assaulted. The contours of his face were illuminated under the single street light, his bicep bulging against the cotton confines of his shirt. You could've ripped his clothes off and taken him right then and there, but any chance of that happening was interrupted by a gentle tap of your car roof, and hushed words of, "see ya' later, pretty girl."

You went home, shaving every inch of your body, absolutely dousing yourself in perfume. You didn't have to put in work for uni - it was uni. This, however, was very different. This was your professors' home, the most intimate location you could possibly spend time together in. Hoping to seem nonchalant and disguise your anxiety, you threw on your prettiest sundress; a short lilac number with slightly frilled hemming. Your hair was in a simple half up half down style with minimal make up on. You thought you looked pretty. You hoped he would think the same.

The drive to Matt's place was quicker than you expected. Your heart was pounding so hard, you were worried you'd crack a rib. It was so bizarre to you that you were so nervous, despite the fact that you had slept with him more times than you could count on both hands. You raised a shaky fist to his large wooden front door, knocking twice. The door swung open almost immediately, and you were met with the gap-toothed smile you'd grown so fond of.

"Woah, you were just waiting by the door, huh?" You teased as he opened it for you, brazenly sizing you up with his eyes.

"It's not every night I get visitors this beautiful." He ushered you in to his home, which was beautiful and smelt so nice. "Hope you're hungry." You sat at the kitchen table that was set with two plates and two wine glasses. He'd prepared restaurant quality chicken and vegetables, and although quite a simple dish, it looked amazing, and the fact that he'd made it for you made you feel all fuzzy inside. You'd eat burnt toast if it meant you could share dinner with him.

A few glasses of wine in and you were all gooey inside. Everything was warm, everything made you happy.

"What?" He smiled, infatuated by the way your flushed cheeks accentuated your drunken smile, your sweet giggles the prettiest sound he'd heard all year.

"Nothin', just happy," you murmured, bringing the wine glass to your lips once again.

You were sitting beside one another on his couch, your legs entwined as he sat with his arms draped over the edge. He looked absolutely delectable; facial hair neatly grown out, short curls atop his head, wearing a navy blue t-shirt that hugged his muscles just right.

"I meant what I said earlier," he started, green eyes piercing your own, before continuing, "I want to be with you."

Your cheeks burned a deeper hue of red, this time not a result of your inebriation. "I wanna be with you too... but how? Can't you lose your job?"

"Not once you graduate," he shrugged nonchalantly, throwing back the remaining wine in his glass. "How long is that? Like, a month? I can wait."

You set your wine down on the coffee table across from you, moving to straddle him where he sat. His hands instinctively found your hips, your lips connecting gently, moving perfectly in sync. You moved your lips to his neck, gently sucking on the warm skin, marking him with dark purple prints of your lips. His warm fingers travelled up under your dress, already hooked into your underwear, urging you to remove the barrier between your flesh and his. You stood up, slipping them off as he unzipped his pants, sliding them down enough that he could free his already painfully hard cock.

You immediately climbed back onto him, feeling it occasionally bob against your heat. He'd had you riled up the whole time, and you'd clearly had the same effect on him. He spat on his fingers before gingerly spreading it over your entrance, allowing you to line yourself up and slowly sink down onto it. A lewd whimper escaped your flushed lips as you threw your head back, adjusting to the delicious stretch you felt. He let out a low groan of his own, his usual desperate, bruise producing touch replaced with the foreignly gentle guidance of your hips. Knees flat against the couch with your thighs clinging to either side of his, you pushed yourself up his length with your toes, sinking back down deeper this time. Your lips naturally found one another again, parting in invitation for his tongue. Your tongues wrestled in the most gentle manner, absolutely no haste in your actions. You took the time to explore each other, tasting every inch of your mouths as you shared soft breaths and satisfied moans. His hands trailed up your back, moving his lips to your collarbones where he placed soft kisses, tongue dragging along your warm skin. He reached his peak fast after you increased your pace, the warm wet feeling of your arousal sending him over the edge within minutes. The most holy sound you'd ever heard departed his lips as finished inside of you, his hooded eyes not leaving yours once.

He moved you onto your back in one swift motion, hiking your legs up over his shoulders as he knelt off the edge of the couch. He slipped two fingers into your sopping core with ease, languidly lapping at your sensitive clit. Your hands nestled in his hair, lightly raking through his curls as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge. His nose occasionally brushing the sensitive area as he so tenderly bought you to climax, your legs tensing around his face as a mirage of ecstasy washed over you. You mewled his name in the way he imagined an angel would, working you through your orgasm in a way you'd never experienced. You weren't sure you'd understood the term love making until now.

You wanted everyone to know how he made you feel, and he, the way you made him feel.

He pulled up his pants and climbed back onto the couch beside you, pulling your body flush against his, his pounding heart echoing in your ear as you caught your breath and came back to earth from cloud nine.

As you felt his heart rate slow against your cheek, he spoke up. "Stay the night. You can borrow some of my clothes."

You laughed to yourself before saying, "I hoped you'd ask. I packed clothes... they're in my car."

[strawberryfairi]

“I loved you then…back when I knew you”

Synopsis: 💎 When your old high school best friend, and admittedly, first love randomly shows up at your door one morning after a bit over ten years apart, your memories of him that you once locked away comes flooding back. Are you open to hearing him out after all this time? (In other words…will you take your man back or nah?)

♕Pairings: Kazutora X Black Fem Reader 🤎 (ANYONE CAN READ)🛑Content: 18+ Eventual smut, Some grief, Some angst ~Crossposted On: Wattpad ONLY ~Updating WEEKLY

w.c. 3.9k💠 Released March 21, 2024

NOTE: It’s been too long since I’ve posted another chapter but hopefully I’m fully out of my (ridiculously long💀) writers block! Ngl, this chap kinda ass fr but the next chapter will be longer/better for sure! Thank you all for bearing with me🧚🏾‍♀️💜

Previous | Next Chapter Chapters Masterlist

CHAPTER 8; EMOTIONAL DIFFICULTIES

A Few Days Later

This morning just before classes started, the girls demanded an emergency girls meeting in the bathroom to discuss what happened Halloween night. It was funny to you how they never wanna text or Facetime about these things, they only love to do it in person. It was cute though, and made the experience of sharing your gossip all the more exciting.

"YOU GUYS KISSED?!"

You winced as all the girls shouted practically at the same time. You already knew what was coming.

"I knew it! I knew something happened between you guys! We called it, we straight up called it, Yumi!" Asuka rambled, Yumi just nods her head proudly with that classic devious smile.

"You better not ever come talkin' to us about "Oh, I don't know how he feels guys" again! At this point you'd be a fool to not see it!" Hayashi-chan ranted.

"Wait, but see there's the thing-

"NO! You guys are getting married, and that's final!" Yumi hollers.

"Um, I don't know 'bout married. We're in high school." You chuckle. "But listen guys, 'cause there's something goin' on now that's making me feel weird about the kiss. Afterwards, when we all were goin' home things were so awkward, and now it's like he can't even bear to touch me. You think maybe he regrets it?" You frown, fiddling with your fingers resting on your lap as you sat on the bathroom sink.

All the girls turn quiet in thought, briefly looking at one another as they process what you said.

"Ok well...when you guys touch now does he pull away like "ew, oh my god"? Or is it like "oh shoot, I touched her!"?" Miyazaki-chan questions.

"What's the difference?" You furrow your brows.

"One is that he's like genuinely disgusted to have touched you, and the other is just him being nervous that he touched you." She explains.

"Some guys can get like that! I'm pretty sure you're probably the first girl he's ever gotten this close to, like..ever. It was probably his first kiss too, and now that he did that he's like unsure about how to go about dealing with you. You went from friends to...this." Asuka says, gesturing with her hands towards all of you.

She did have a really good point though, you hadn't thought about it that way at all. You were so pressed about not liking the way he's been acting since Halloween night that you never really bothered to take it a step further and think about why.

"That makes sense. I mean, he doesn't seem disgusted, he's just so jumpy! It's like he calculates every little thing he does and sometimes says now; like a robot." You frown, looking over at Miyazaki-chan.

"Yup. He's for sure nervous." Hanako-chan nods.

"But it's not like I'm not nervous too!" You rant, throwing your hands in the air in frustration.

"Yeah, but when guys get nervous they get stupid. An even dumber than usual kind'a stupid." Yumi explains with a disappointed sigh.

"Facts, that'd be the next thing to warn you about. With what you told us about how he's acting...he's for sure gonna be in his idiot era from now on." Hayashi-chan says with an apologetic smile.

"His idiot era? Ughh no..." You facepalm, not liking the sound of this at all.

"Let's just hope he can character develop fast enough to breeze through it." She adds with an apologetic tone.

The bell signaling for students to get to homeroom rang just as you all finished your little gossip chat. One by one each of you left out of the bathroom, saying your goodbyes and going your separate ways down either side of the hall.

"I'll see y'all at lunch or..whatever class we have together." You giggled, walking backwards as you wave goodbye. Just as you go to turn around, you bump into someone accidentally, almost falling on the floor on your back in the process.

"O-oh, I'm so sorry!" A soft, familiar voice stutters out, quickly turning around and steadying you by the arm.

"Oh! No no, it's my fault-Yamagishi?! I haven't seen you in so long!" You beam, finally noticing who it was you bumped into. His two other friends seeming to be with him in the hallway quickly scurried into their classroom with nervous looks on their faces, leaving the two of you alone. You didn't think too much of that, but it was definitely weird.

"Oh uh...yeah." Yamagishi says in a particularly hushed voice.

"What's been goin' on? Did you do anything for Halloween?"

Yamagishi barely manages to respond to you, letting out nothing but a short "Y-yeah" in response. You furrow your brows in concern at the way his eyes keep darting everywhere but at you. It seems Kazutora isn't the only boy acting stupid around you now.

"Are you alright? What's wrong?!" You ask, starting to get a little freaked out. He looked completely shook, hands slightly shaking and his entire face has gone pale white.

"Sorry, I-I gotta go!" He stammers, pivoting on his feet and darting right into the classroom.

"What the-?!" You were confused and also a little offended. What the hell is wrong with these guys?! Shaking your head, you decide to brush it off, continuing on down the hall.

"Hey!"

This time a male voice you didn't recognize calls from a few feet behind you. You turn around, pointing at yourself with your brows slightly furrowed, silently asking the guy if they were talking to you.

"Yeah." He says, finally catching up to you.

"Uhh, hi?" You greet awkwardly. You've never seen this student before. He was pretty tall, with slicked back black hair and dark eyes to match.

"Just wanted to let you know, in case you were wondering, Yamagishi isn't allowed to talk to you anymore." He scorned, looking at you like you were the biggest nuisance in his life.

"What do you mean-

"You're boyfriend made it clear some weeks ago." He clarifies with a slight grimace at the word 'boyfriend'.

That was all he needed to say for you to understand, and man were you instantly fuming. Is he serious?!

"What did he do?" You grit out lowly. Even though it was a question your tone was demanding an answer, a fully in depth answer as well.

And a full report he sure did give you. He told you the full story exactly how Yamagishi told him and his other friends the day it happened. It was like the more Yamagishi's friend spoke the more your blood boiled, and by the time he finished telling you the tea, you were ready to find Kazutora.

"Oh, I got somethin' for him. Imma deal with his ass..trust." Was all you said before turning on your heels and storming down the hallway to your homeroom.

💎

You couldn't wait not a second more for lunchtime to come around, so when it finally did you jumped straight into action. Of course you told the girls what happened to which even they were annoyed about it. Everyone knows Yamagishi is a sweetheart, so picking a fight with him knowing he's not a fighter all like that anyways is just absolutely ridiculous. First of all, you're not even Kazutora's girlfriend, and second, for him to act so possessive like you can't have other guy friends besides him is childish!

The girls saved your spot at the lunch table, already knowing you were off to find him before he could even come to you. You walked through the halls like a lion hunting for its prey, focused on one thing only until you finally saw him.

There he was by the vending machine in the hallway before you reach the cafeteria, looking all calm and collected.

You storm up to him, the sound of your school shoes making contact with the ground alerting him of your presence. It just pissed you off even more the way his expression brightened when he noticed you.

"Hey! I was just on my-

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" You cut him off.

"-way...?" He finishes, blinking a few times in confusion while looking down at you with his brows furrowed.

"Why'd you beat up Yamagishi?! You told me you were only going to fight Osanai that day! You really had the audacity to tell him to stay away from me?! Who the hell are you?!" You rant, feeling your face starting to heat up with anger.

"You're mad at me because of that? He's the one that let Osanai hurt you in the first place." He shrugged, like it was the very last thing occupying his mind.

"I had already handled Yamagishi that same day though! He said he was sorry, and you already know he doesn't fight!" You defended, throwing your arms up exasperatedly.

"He should've thought about that before asking you out then. He already went wrong right there." He scoffed.

"Are you serious?!" You furrow your brows with a scoff, genuinely shocked.

"I'm very serious. He had no business asking you out knowing he can't protect you at all. He's lucky all Osanai did was give you one black eye! What if he did worse?!" He argued. It actually annoyed you a lot that he kind of made sense there.

You clench your jaw, looking to the side and letting out a deep exhale through your nose.

"Look...I was mad, alright?" He mutters softly.

"You can't just beat somebody up because you're mad, K! Like, I'm mad but I'm not beating you up." You grumble.

He lets out the tiniest chuckle. You both knew full well you'd never be able to beat him up. "I think both my anger and beating him up was justified. I can't let something like that slide; not anymore." He mumbles the last part to himself.

"Not anymore?" You question, looking back up at him curiously. He was already looking down, his hands clenched into fists at each side. You've never seen him look like this before. He wasn't angry or even worried, he just looked regretful.

"It's just-...I used to be the one to watch while someone else gets beat in front of me all the time. I hated that I could never do anything except cry and curl up in some corner." Kazutora explains bitterly, his eyes carrying a hollow, far off look.

You gasp lightly, hovering your hands over your mouth. "What do you mean?" You ask, mouth still hanging open in shock. You really hoped it wasn't what your mind was starting to conclude that it was. He sighs deeply before continuing.

"Before my parents got divorced, my dad would-... he'd beat my mom all the time. I was little, so it was never really anything I could do about it. So when I found out Yamagishi was the one that let you get hurt like that..." He looks back up at you, letting you connect the rest of the dots.

"Ohh." You whisper, suddenly feeling like a fool for pressing him. You had no idea, you just figured he beat him up out of some kind of stupid possessiveness he has towards you, but it was way deeper than that. Without a second thought you wrap your arms around him, resting your head on his chest.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't know any of that." You apologize, nuzzling your face into him in hopes of comforting him.

"It's...fine?" He mutters awkwardly, hesitantly wrapping his arms around you.

It's the first time he's ever shared anything about his family dynamic, and definitely the first time someone's comforted him about it. He felt weird, like he didn't know what to do, but he also felt...a little good about it?

"No it's not. I was all yellin' at you and stuff. I'm really sorry." You repeat, sniffling a little as you start to tear up. You were never strong when it comes to things like this. You could watch someone cry in a movie scene and be bawling your own self. Hearing about Kazutora having such a past...it hurt you somewhere deep. Then to think he got triggered that badly all from what happened while you were with Yamagishi. Of course it doesn't mean hurting Yamagishi is right, but there's clearly some traumatic things Kazutora's been dealing with for a pretty long time.

His father's absolute garbage, and you hope he's completely out of his and his mom's life. Hopefully his mom moved on and found somebody better too; a real husband.

"It's ok. Are you crying?!" He looks down at you in bewilderment. Now the two of you were really out of his territory. You nod slowly, holding onto him tighter.

"Oh. Well uhhh, don't cry, ok? 'S nothing to cry about." He reassures awkwardly, gently patting your back.

His words meant for comfort only made you feel a thousand times worse. Him, the one who went through such a traumatic childhood is saying it's nothing to cry about?! Something's definitely wrong for sure, and you feel terrible for never noticing it. He always looks so cheerful and bubbly, but of course, that's what most people do when they're trying to hide something about themselves that they don't want other people to see.

Once he notices you aren't letting go any time soon he sighs, resting his head on top of yours.

"I don't want you to pity me, ok?" He mumbles softly into your hair.

"I don't. I just don't like hearing that someone I care about went through something like that. I'm sad." You murmur right back into his uniform, sniffling much more frequently. If you kept going like this, your mascara's gonna start running. Kazutora's heart clenched so hard in his chest. He felt butterflies hearing you say he was someone you care about, but it also hurt him seeing you so upset.

"Come on. Don't cry anymore, ok? Please?" He leans up from your hair, placing his hands on your shoulders. You look up at him, your bottom lip slightly pouting, and nod, wiping your eyes carefully.

"Wanna go back to the caf now?" He suggests softly.

"Mm mm. I wanna stay with you." You whine childishly. He laughs lightly at your cute expression.

"But your food's back there. Come on, we'll be alone together anyways when I walk you home later." He chuckled lightly, walking you back into the cafeteria.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had thought, with good reason, that after that emotional moment you and Kazutora shared together he'd be back to normal, no longer acting so awkward and skittish around you. Yeah, no..he's still being like that. You figured that due to the heat of the moment he wasn't really thinking about anything else except comforting you so you'd stop crying.

Now that that moment's passed, things are even more awkward than before.

"So...how was the rest of school for you?" You ask, trying to break the silence that's been ongoing for about seven minutes since the two of you left the school building.

"Uuuh..boring as usual, I guess." He replies shortly with a little shrug.

"Same." You mumble dryly, pursing your lips afterwards.

Aaaand we're right back to the silence. You sigh dramatically in frustration.

"K, why're you being so quiet all the time now? You're acting so weird." You question, looking up at him with a slight pout.

"What? I don't think I'm any different." He furrows his brows slightly.

"Liar. You don't even put your arm around me anymore like you used to." You grumble bitterly, looking straight ahead as you adjust your tote bag strap on your left shoulder.

"Do you want me to put my arm around you?" He asked.

"I mean, not necessarily, I was just pointing out stuff you used to do that you don't do anymore." You answer back as nonchalantly as possible.

"But if you pointed it out doesn't that automatically mean it's something you want me to do?" He probed, leaning down a bit closer to you.

"....Sure, yeah..maybe I do." You reply sassily, trying to hide the embarrassment on your face.

"Then..I'll do it." He affirms, his cheeks already starting to turn pink.

"Ok, fine." You mumble plainly, trying to hold back the excited smile wanting to make its way on your face as his arm hesitantly wraps around your shoulders, bringing you close to him.

Every time you both are close like this it always feels so different from before Halloween. The air becomes heavy, the sound of your heart beat seems ten times louder, your palms get all sweaty, and your face gets unbearably hot. Worst part of it all your mind starts going crazy with thoughts when you get like this.

You think about how you want so badly to kiss him again. To touch and kiss each other again just like that night, maybe something even more than that. It almost feels wrong having thoughts like this when you didn't know for sure if Kazutora thought similar things.

The girls always know how to make it seem so simple, so obvious that he feels the same, but it's so hard to see it when you're in a situation like this in real time.

If I kissed him would he push me away...?

Even if you had the guts to kiss him you knew you probably shouldn't do it. He's already acting different, it would highly likely make it worse. At this point you weren't even sure when you should ever invite him over to your place again. He'd probably completely lose his mind if you were on the same bed together again.

You sigh, closing your eyes and leaning your head just slightly against his chest. This'll have to be enough for now, but in the meantime you figure it's time to whip out the big guns when it comes to boy advice.

💎

"-And then...we actually ended up kissing there, but after we left from the park it was like he was completely different. He wouldn't do anything that he used to, and still doesn't unless I point it out like I did today! That's the only reason he even put his arm around me, 'cause I mentioned he'd stopped doing it."

Your mom listens intently from the edge of your bed, trying not to show her ever growing smile.

"I was waiting for when you'd finally tell me about this boy." She says warmly.

Your jaw drops, completely taken aback by her words.

"Wha-...you knew about him this whole time?!" You gawked, completely shook.

"Girl, I knew from the get-go, don't even play." She chuckles lightly. "I knew after weeks and weeks had passed that you liked him and would come to me about him eventually. I was just waitin'." She chuckled, brushing you off with a hand.

"Well, so...what do you think?" You inquire nervously, fiddling around with your hands in your lap.

"There's nothing to think! He likes you; it's clear as day! You don't even gotta stress about this one, honey."

"But why does he act so weeeeird?!" You whine dramatically.

"Because he likes you, as I just said! That's how guys are. He made a move randomly, 'cause from how you're describing it he definitely didn't plan it, and now he's freaking out because he went and blurred the lines of y'alls relationship." She explains with an amused chuckle.

You stay quiet, brows furrowed as you think over what your mom said.

"Sometimes, there are guys that have a hard time facing their feelings, and unfortunately, this boy seems to be one of them." She adds, placing a hand on your knee.

"Don't decide nothin' for him, ok? You let him figure out his feelings and come to you.We're not chasin' any guys, no matter how cute."

"Why do you think he's struggling with facing his feelings?" You murmur curiously.

"Oh honey, it could be anything. Sometimes they're just nervous, other times it can be a little more complicated than that. If he's strong enough, he'll be able to acknowledge how he feels about you and decide what he wants to do. If he's not, and he keeps teetering around back and forth...then you decide for him, and you keep it pushin'. That doesn't mean end the friendship and walk away, but you make it clear y'all will be nothing more than friends." She explains, her tone more serious now.

You nod, looking up at her.

"Today...we got into a fight but then it turned out to be something sad." You mutter.

"What d'you mean somethin' sad?" She says with concern, raising her left brow.

"Well remember when I got that black eye with the boy from my math class?" You pause, watching her nod as a sign to continue. "Ok so Kazutora had actually went and beat up the guy who did that to me, this dude named Osanai, but he didn't tell me he also went and beat up Yamagishi too that same day. He said he was mad that he didn't keep me safe, but he also said it was because it reminded him..of when his dad would beat his mom when he was younger."

Your mom's lips part slightly, sucking in a short breath as she listens to you. Immediately she was filled with a deeper concern than before. Back when she was much younger, before you were even born, she had spent a lot of time as a youth pastor, caring for the kids who carried trauma and had to deal with neglectful, hateful parents. She's always loved kids, and it would anger her beyond belief when the parents of the kids from her youth group would try and justify why they treat their children the way they do.

"I had started crying 'cause...he'd never told me that, and it kinda clicked. He's always so bubbly and like really upbeat, but I think it might be because he's actually really sad." You explain softly, a deep frown on your face.

"He fights a lot, and before he met me he used to never really come to school. I had a thought while he was walking me home that maybe his dynamic with his mom at home still isn't any better even though his dad is gone." You add, looking over at her again for her reaction.

"Ok...well, there may definitely be some 'things' inside him that he needs to work through. I also think he's probably acting weird around you because you might be the only person he feels safe with, so he doesn't want to mess that up; what he has with you." She says softly.

"Yeah. That makes sense." You sigh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kazutora's story about his family was all you could think about as you laid in bed. You'd spent a majority of the night worrying about him.

This only made you realize just how much you actually didn't know about him. That was just one little piece of the story, who knows how many more details and puzzle pieces fit into the rest of it. It would probably be wrong to just ask him about his past, you didn't want to upset him or even trigger him in some kind of way. You honestly didn't know too much about mental health and all the nuances and verbiage that comes along with it.

He could have PTSD or..something from what happened in his past. If he does have something like that he's damn good at hiding it...at least around you.

A deep sigh left your lips, letting go of the situation so you could finally sleep. You'd have to figure this out another time.

[creativepawsworld]

Silence - Chapter 19

Pairing = Thomas Shelby x Reader

Summary = Anastasia and James have a heart to heart. Ana finds her way out of her parents house. 

Warnings = Language, Gang Activity, Sexual Relations, Murder, Violence, Religion, grammar 

Word Count = 3478

Note = Sorry it’s taken so long to get this out, I have so many ideas but this is a story and some filler moments gotta happen. It has taken me a while to be happy with what I’ve written also. 

Anyways...Hope you all had a lovely Christmas.

Sitting hunched over my brother’s kitchen table, a cold cup of tea in my hands as the events of the other day plagued my mind. It had been five long days since the fall out and I had yet to return to work or leave the comfort of James’ new home. I had sealed myself away, the words of my mother slowly ate away at my self-worth, my confidence.

I had found myself embarrassed to leave the confines that I now considered home.

 “You’re up early again.” James observed placing a hand gently on my shoulder. He gave it a light squeeze as he passed, walking towards the sink to get himself a glass of water before turning to look at me, eyebrow raised waiting on a answer.

 “I didn’t sleep.” I nod, sitting back on the delicate wooden chair, that felt like it would break at the slightest movement. Stretching back after feeling a cramp due to my hunched over position that I had been in for at least 30 minutes, lost in thought.  

 “Again? Is the bed not comfortable Ana?” He asked placing the half empty glass on the counter top before walking forward to rest his hands on the top of the other chair in front of me, hunching over his back so he was now eye level. “We can swap if you want? My bed is decent.”

 “The bed is fine James, do not worry. I’m just not tired. My mind is running marathons every time I lay down. ” I try to explain as best I could without worrying him any further. He was already under enough stress with work and his girlfriend, who he had been arguing a lot with lately and I had a sinking feeling I was to blame.

 I couldn’t blame her, I knew Martha liked me but she didn’t exactly care for an additional roommate so close after moving in. This was supposed to be a special time for her and my brother. Redecorating their first home, making a new start together but that proved difficult with me potentially overstaying my welcome.

 “I am sure Shelby could find an answer for that.”  He answered trying his hardest to hold back on his disgust. My brother still uncomfortable at the thought of his sister with a Shelby man, although he accepted it unlike my mother because he knew, Thomas made me happy.

 “Like drugs? I could find them for myself if I wanted to stoop so low” I retorted a little more frosty than I had intended. My eye glaring at the chipped porcelain in front of me, almost as if I was trying to shattered it with my mind.

 “Glad to hear you’re not at that stage but that’s not what I meant.” He laughed softly, a soft sigh leaving his mouth. He had been trying in vain to cheer me up  for days but no matter what he did, I just couldn’t break out of the slump I was feeling.

Not even Tommy could keep me smiling for long.

 Forcing back a smile, I nodded at his attempt. My mind taking the silence and returning to my mother. We had never been close, but over the last few weeks we had made progress. All to be incinerated because I fell in love? What kind of mother tosses their only daughter out because she fell for a man she didn’t approve of?

 “Shilling for your thoughts?” James asked reaching over the table and taking my hand into his, large green eyes pleading with me for an response. It was killing him seeing me this way.

 “I just don’t understand how she can be so cruel. I’m her daughter, her only daughter. Doesn’t every woman want a girl when they have a child? A friend for life? Someone to talk to about boys? To vent to about living as a woman in post war times? ” I answered with a scoff, my nails chipping away at the cheap paint on the cup. “She doesn’t even know him, only the reputation he has built for himself! How can she be so quick to judge?”

 Inhaling deeply I could tell my brother regretted asking the question, the verbal vomit coming from my mouth was enough to put anyone off but he understood every single word that left my lips.

 “He isn’t a complete asshole.” He nodded biting the corner of his lip. “But mother. Mother has always been an asshole Ana. She puts up a façade when things are going her way but her true colours come out eventually.”

 “Yeah, she probably didn’t care for me”

 “In her own way she cared Ana, but not like a mother should. Mothers are suppose to love their children unconditionally not only when they make achievements.” He sighed, head falling down so his chin rested on his chest. “People like mother only care about control, when they have it they are happy. When they lose it, well…you saw what happens” He finished looking up at me, sympathy evident in his stare.

 “Do you think being with Tommy is a mistake?” I bluntly asked wanting to know the answer to a question that had crossed my mind continuously over the last few days.

 Was I stupid throwing my family away from one man I barely knew?

 “Yes but not because of mother” James snorted out a laugh as he stood tall once again. With another sigh he reached forward, wrapping his hand around the top of the chair opposite making himself comfortable before continuing. “I think Shelby is good for you in some ways. Like its bringing out a confidence in you I didn’t think you had. It’s amazing. I love it, but he is a gangster Ana and nothing good can come from that.”

 “I understand” I nod forcing a smile on my face to hide the pain  I was feeling inside. That was the exact answer my brain was giving my heart every time.

 “But I know you love him and he loves you. He might act like a big tough gangster but when I told him what mother had said to you… I’ve never seen a man move so fast to find you.” He continued, a sombre smile on his face as he reached across taking my hand in his own, his thumb brushing over my knuckles as a tear fell from my eye.

 “You’re just saying that”

 “I wish I was.” He laughed, shaking his head, his actions putting a smile on my face. “You know my history with his family but I’m not blind. Neither is the witch, she sees it and the both of us can’t be wrong. And don’t forget I’m never wrong” He winked, squeezing my hand tightly.

 “His brother John talks about it to” I chuckle, my free hand coming up to wipe the tears falling down my face as I sniffle.

 “Well there you go. John is a good man. Served with him in France, different bloke back then though but I doubt he is much different, not underneath anyway.”

 “I didn’t know you served together.” I inhale, suddenly sitting up straighter in my chair.

  The war was something my brother nor father would talk about, no man really spoke about it as far as I was aware. Only few men returned unscathed both mentally and physically, every man from Small Heath was not one of the lucky few. Each had their own harrowing nightmares but each kept it to themselves.

 “I don’t talk about the war but I need to make a point.” He chuckled breathlessly  patting my hand before standing to his feet, quick to change the conversation like he had always done. “I have to get to work, why don’t you make yourself all pretty and go see Shelby, he always puts a smile on that face.”

 “Hey James?” I called, pulling both my hands back towards my stomach, inhaling deeply as I sat on the edge of the seat.

 “Yeah?” He asked turning around to face me, one of his hands resting on the door frame of the living room as he waited.

 “Why do you call Tommy, Shelby but you can call Arthur and John by their given name?” I question a sassy smile on my face as I stare at him.

 “Simple, Arthur and John ain’t fucking my sister.” He turned, face deadpanned with a hint of a cheeky smile, threatening to spill onto his face. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

After bidding farewell to my brother, I had taken his advice to make myself pretty but not for Thomas. I was going to return home, hold my head up high and face my parents. James telling me that he loved my new found confidence had awoken something inside me.#

I was not going to let my mother’s preconceptions, continue to run my life. I had to take back control, plus I needed more clothes my brother had only packed two dresses for me when I left home.

 Fixing myself as best I could with as little as I could, I opened the door to reveal non other than Thomas Shelby on the other side, a cigarette between his lips as he rested causally against the wall of the apartment almost like he knew I would be coming out.

 “What are you doing here?”

 “Nice to see you to.” He chuckled reaching up and taking the white stick from his lips releasing a puff of smoke as he pushed off the wall, standing tall in front of me. “Where are you heading off to then?”

 “My parents, I’m going to collect my things.” I look over my shoulder at him as I speak, my hands busy locking the door. “No doubt that horrible woman will be there to make sure I’m not stealing anything of hers.”

 “Things still not improved then eh?” He asked, shoving one hand into his trousers pocket as we walked, side by side down the concrete steps of the apartment block I was currently staying at. “She is your mother Anastasia? You should try and talk to her.”  

 “No. No mother would say such things to their child and then throw then out onto the street to fend for themselves.” I scoff, looking over at him as if he had ten heads. How could he say something so ludicrous.

 “My father said a lot worse. Acted in violence.” Tommy spoke, turning to face me as we hit the final step. “Don’t be so quick to shut her out of your life. Her words have come from shock. It’s not easy having your daughter date one of the most dangerous men in Birmingham.”

 “Is that why your father is still a part of your life? Oh wait, he isn’t.” I snapped back, regretting the words as soon as they left my mouth. My mothers outburst was nothing compared to the years of abuse and torment he had inflicted on his children.

 Staring down at my hands, I didn’t have the guts to look up at Tommy. Feeling his stare was enough, his eyes were burning straight through me like he was putting an infamous curse on me, the same ones I feared as a child.

 “You know why he isn’t.”  His tone was low and dangerous as he took my chin in his head, pulling my head up to look into his cold blue eyes. “You’re hurting. I’ll let it slide.”  

 “Why? If I was anybody else I would have a bullet between the eyes would I not?” I challenged, feeling myself getting hot over confronting him. I know it shouldn’t but it was exhilarating playing with fire, especially when I knew nothing bad would happen.

 “No.” He returned quickly, a cheeky glint flashing in his eye for a second. Liar I thought rolling my eyes, I went to turn and walk away from him but he caught my upper arm pulling me into him. “Do you need me to have a word with your mother?”

 “What no! That is the last thing I need Tommy, you are the reason she hates my very existence. You will just make everything worse” I tell him not meaning for the words to come out as harshly as the did. “Just stay out of it, please.”

 “I can’t do that” He answered, still holding me close. His voice much softer now.

 “Why?” I asked, turning my body towards him so my entire front was pressed against him as he stared down into my eyes.

 “Because it’s hurting you Stace.” He whispered, his free hand reaching up and brushing a stray hair behind my ear, instinctively my head lulled into his touch, eyes never breaking contact.

 “I’m not hurting anyone so who cares?”

 “I care.” He stated confidently, the cigarette balancing on his lower lip as both his hands wrapped around my hips, tugging me against him tighter if that was even possible. “Your brother cares, Polly cares, fucking John cares. Which reminds me when did you become close?” He questioned, eyebrow raised and I couldn’t help but laugh.

 “We’ve had a few conversations but we aren’t close” I chuckle, resting my hands on his forearms comfortably before lifting one to wave the smoke from my face.

 “Don’t let him hear that” He nodded, reaching up to take the cigarette from his lips and tossing it to the side. “Are you managing being out of work? I can get Arthur to take you on at the Garrison if you want?”

 “I’ll be alright Tommy, tailoring is something I love so I will be returning if my father allows me. It is his business after all and he didn’t seem too upset that we are together.” I smile up at him, as he took my hand in his, we start to walk once more.  

 “Perhaps your father has spoken sense into your mother”

 “I doubt that very much” Laughing I turned to Tommy with a smile. “My father is more afraid of my mother than he is you.”

 “Your father is a smart man, an unhappy woman leads to an unhappy life.” Tommy nodded, his eyes savouring the area as we walked, always on the lookout. “Polly’s wise words”

 “Polly is a wise woman indeed” I nod as we turned the corner to enter my street just as Mrs Anderson was leaving the shop. It seemed to be business as usual. “I’ll come find you when I am done?”

 “I’ll be at the shop” Tommy replied as we both came to a stop just before the shop entrance. “Sure you don’t need me as back up?”

 “I’m sure. Go do your illegal business Mr Shelby” I chuckled reaching up and placing a quick peck to his lips not caring if anyone could see.

 “We are legal now Miss Adler.” He grinned down at me, pressing his lips to mine for a longer kiss before pulling away. “Meet me at the stop when you’re done.” He pointed his index finger at me as he back away, walking down the street and disappearing.

 Inhaling deeply, I collected my thoughts before pushing open the brown door which felt heavier than usual, entering the place I once considered my safe space. My eyes darted around the room but only my father could be found, by his desk working.

 “Ana, thank god” My father gushed looking up from his spot, dropping the trousers he had been  working on to rush towards me, a smile on his face while cupping my cheeks in his hands. “It hasn’t been the same without you. Are you well?”

 “I’m alright father.” I nod placing my hands on his, fresh tears spilling from my face at his reaction to seeing me. It had seemed that nothing had change in my father’s eyes, he still carried the love he claimed to have for me on his sleeve, much like he had the past few weeks.

 “Your mother, she didn’t mean it. Come home, we can talk.”

 “I can’t do that father. What she said really hurt me. I can’t be under the same roof. She has shown her true colours.” I sigh watching my father’s face fall with sadness at my words.

 “That’s rich. Can’t be under the same roof as your own mother but can happily lay with a wanted criminal. Do you know he is responsible for the death of Billy Kimber?” My mother’s voice spoke, peering over my father’s shoulder I saw her walking towards her desk. “He is a cold blooded killer that Shelby. The Devil.”

 “I am aware of that incident yes and it was self-defence, Billy Kimber shot him first. Wounded his chest, just missed his heart.”

 “That what he told you?” She laughed, not holding back with the evil looks she was throwing my way. “He doesn’t even have a heart to hit, Ana. Wake up and realise what kind of man he is before it’s too late.”

 “Edith don’t start.” William spoke sharply after his wife, turning to hold up a shaky index finger at her.

 “It’s alright father she is just bitter I am not under her control anymore. I am free” I speak to him but loud enough for her to hear in the back of the store, my words having her choke on laughter as she leaned forward on her desk.

 “Free? You will never be free with him Anastasia. He will ruin you. You will live a life or torment and despair and go straight to hell when he kills you. Stupid girl.” She spat, pointing a threaded needle in my direction.

 “He loves me. Something you will never understand.” I tell her, closing my eyes to prevent the tears from falling. “I’m sorry dad, I can’t be around her.”

 “Ana, please wait…”

 “Let the harlot go William, she has brought nothing but shame.” My mother scoffed, tossing the threaded needle onto her desk which had turn into a complete mess, so unlike my mother. “She will realise soon enough that we were right but by then it’ll be too late.”

 “That is not true. You haven’t brought shame to us Ana.” My father tried to eliminate the harshness of her words but they were sharp, uncalled for and he knew it. “Come back to work at least, I could really use your help with a few orders. They are piling up.”

 “I will return to help you father. Tomorrow if that’s alright?” I asked glancing up at him through my eyelashes and he nods in response. “I’ve just come for my things today. I’m moving out.”

 “Ha, to where?” My mother spat, an evil laugh leaving her throat as she sneered at me. “Your brother and Martha aren’t going to want you around for much longer? They are already at each other’s throats. What was supposed to be a joyful time of experiencing their first house together was ruined by you.”

 “You’re room is always available here Ana” My father spoke lowly knowing my mother would have something to say if she heard his words.

 “Unless Shelby is offering you a place to stay?” She continued, her body language unusually. It was almost like she was swaying as she sat in her chair. “What is the agreement, sleep with all three brothers for a bit of bread?”

 “You are a horrible woman and I am ashamed to have ever called you my mother” I spat, pulling away from my father and leaving the shop as the tears began to blind me, I didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of once again seeing me cry.

 Rushing next door, I took the stairs two at a time until I got to my room, slamming the door shut behind me, I threw myself onto the bed he tears staining my pillow below me as I cried. A strangled scream of frustration left my lungs as I buried my head as deep as it could go. All emotions leaving my soul, leaving me empty.

 Deciding not to take her abuse anymore, I got up brushing the wetness from my face before walking to my wardrobe and pulling out a case, shoving all the clothes inside any way I could get to fit. I didn't want to waste time folding even thought I would have had more room if I had, I just needed to leave before she decided to follow me inside for another go.  

 When I had finished with the wardrobe, I had very little room left when I reached my dresser. Pulling the first drawer open I felt my heart come to a stop and my breathe hitch in my throat as I reached inside, taking the large sum of cash Tommy had given me many months before into my hand, relief washed over me.

 I had a way out.

Taglist 

@shelbyteller @seleneshelby @forgottenpeakywriter @babayaga67 @sweetmilkshakeluminary @slutforcoffein​

[ladylooch]

no smut but how about a kinda friends to lovers kempe fic

A/N: Thank you for your request! We know how excited I get about Kempe love! I wrote this when I was feeling yucky, but it actually took my mind off that, which was much appreciated. Because of that I'm going to post now rather than this weekend. Why wait ya know?

Warnings: She is sick- mentions of vomit and puking, swearing, otherwise fluffffffffy, probably typos cause I'm awful at editing under feeling well conditions

Word counts: 2.7k

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz.

My phone vibrates next to my hand on the bathroom floor where I am bracing my body. I gag, opening my mouth as the vomit spews out. I lurch forward again, dry heaving as my stomach twists in pain. Groping for my phone, I silence the vibration.

Buzz, Buzz, Buzz.

I know it’s my best friend, Adrian Kempe. I also know he is at my apartment door because I have heard him knocking for the past ten minutes. He is here to pick me up for the Kings Foundation Gala. He originally had planned to bring his girlfriend, but now that she’s an ex, he needed a little arm candy- his words. 

I’m fine with their break up. She was not the one.

I hit ignore on my phone again, then muster every ounce of strength to lift my weak body off the bathroom floor. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror and tears form in my eyes. Everything had been fine. I had gotten most of the way ready, just needed to finish with lipstick, then I was set. But my stomach suddenly turned against me. I hadn’t even had time to turn towards the toilet. Instead, the first round filled the sink. That should be fun to clean.

I work my way towards where Adrian is still knocking on my door.

“Hey, you’re scaring me… Look if you’ve changed your mind, that’s fine. Just let me know you’re okay.”

“I am not okay.” I say as I swing the door open. His eyebrows jump up in surprise when he sees me.

“Holy shit.” He lets out a chuckle. “You look-”

“Like shit?” I finish for him. 

“Well, beautiful in that dress.” He murmurs to me. Despite my sloshing stomach, I feel warmth settle in my body. 

“At least someone got to see it.” I respond, leaning against the door for support. I close my eyes against a wave of nausea that has chills rushing down my arms. “I can’t go. I’m puking my entire digestive system out. I’m sorry.”

“That’s fine. I didn’t really want to go anyway.” He steps forward to enter my place. I straighten, shaking my head and placing my palms on his shirt. I take in his gray suit and crisp white shirt. He trimmed his beard and his hair is tucked behind his ears, fanning out in blonde Cs to the side. He looks so good. And I can’t let him see me like this.

“No way. This is a war zone. Just go.” His tongue smacks against the roof of his mouth as a dismissal.

“I’m not leaving until I know you’re going to be okay.” 

I open my mouth to protest further, but a heavy wave of nausea crashes into me. I turn, trying to run back towards the bathroom. I don’t make it. I can feel Adrian come behind me, gathering my hair into his hands while I puke on my entryway tile. I stare down at the pile, contemplating if you can actually die from embarrassment.

“Oh my god.” I whisper, eyes closed in distress.

“It’s okay.” Adrian soothes me. “Go to the bathroom.” He hands me a bowl from my kitchen counter that I usually have candy in to munch on throughout the week. I put the bowl under my mouth and make my way delicately to my bedroom. The front closet opens and Adrian begins gathering cleaning supplies.

A half hour passes along with several toilet flushes. A soft knock sounds on the bathroom door before Adrian pushes it open. He sees me curled in the fetal position on the tile. My dress is all sorts of wrinkled and bunched. I had ripped the zipper down to ease the pressure of the fabric against my stomach, exposing my back to the air.

“How ya doing?” He murmurs, kneeling down to smooth my hair back from my face. I can’t speak, so I just shake my head in the negative. His hand continues to pet my hair as he looks at me. My lips are cracking and dry from my puking episodes. My mouth feels and smells completely coated in bile. I close my eyes again as he steps away, leaving the room again. When he returns, he has my pillow in his hands. He slides it under my head, gently laying me rest on it. “Blanket?” He asks as I shiver. I shake my head no.

“I’m so hot.” He nods in understanding. “What is happening to me.”

“I think you have food poisoning.” He grimaces. “Told you to stop buying grocery store sushi.” He jokes, making me laugh then groan at the twisting of my insides. “Sorry, shouldn’t make you laugh.” He reaches out again, rubbing his finger tips through my hair then against my scalp. I relax my head back into his hand, letting him comfort my spent body.

I can imagine how we look now from above. Like two lovers who are sharing in the ache of life, committed to sickness and health, no matter the circumstances.

But that’s not what we really are.

Instead, it’s the typical, girl loves boy. Boy loves anyone else. So girl settles for what she can have because life without him doesn’t feel like a bearable choice.

Adrian’s hand works down from my hair to my bare shoulder blade peeking out from my unzipped dress. He feathers his finger tips along the bone then moves to glide the tips down my spine. I’m not wearing a bra allowing his fingerprints to stroke every bump of my vertebrae. My eyes slowly open, finding him staring at my bare skin with an expression I’ve never seen before. There is obvious interest in his blue gaze, shocking with how utterly pale and disgusting I am.

“Um,” I start to speak, causing him to jump and take his hand off me. “I think I want to change. Could you get me some clothes.” 

“Yeah.” He clears his throat and stands. “I’ll be right back.” I cringe at how awkward that felt. When he returns, he makes an excuse of getting me some water so I can change alone. I am aching as I pull the sweatpants and t-shirt on. I discard my dress in the corner, trying not to cry at how disappointed I am that I couldn’t make it to the gala.

While Adrian is gone, I decide I feel well enough to move into my bed. I bring my bathroom trash can with me to the side of the bed, just in case I can’t make it again. Adrian comes in, smiling in relief at seeing me in bed. He moves to my walk-in closet, coming back out in different clothes.

“Can I have these back?” He gestures to both articles of Kings clothing that are his.

“For now.” I sigh. “I’m too weak to fight you.”

“I’ll bring them back. They look better on you.” He says while walking towards me. “Do you need anything else?” He asks as he brushes my hair off my forehead. It’s a little damp from the constant temperature changes I’ve been going through.

“Please stay.” I ask him feebly.

“I’m not going anywhere. Just don’t want to wear my suit anymore.” I nod in understanding. I am utterly exhausted and his touch could easily lull me to sleep. I’m craving comfort and not too shy to ask for it tonight.

“Will you… hold me. Please?” I whisper. My eyes are closed and I miss the relieved flutter of his lashes at my words.

“Yes.” He sighs, carefully moving me over to make space. He opens his arms wide so I can wiggle back into him. His fingers spread along my back, rubbing comforting strokes over my t-shirt. He sets his head against mine, our legs entwining together until every part of our bodies touch. The comfort of this skin eases the ick coursing through my body. I moan as my stomach clenches again.

“I’m going to apologize in advance if I puke on you.” He lengthens his strokes on my back, rubbing in just the right way that has goosebumps spreading across my skin. “That feels so good.”

“Good. Try to sleep.” He encourages me, keeping perfect pressure on my body.

His touch is everything I need. I fall into a sweaty, deep sleep until the next morning. 

I awaken as weak sunlight drifts into my room through a crack in the curtains. I am laying with my face towards the bathroom. I can see light on in there. Adrian is missing, but noise from behind the door tells me he’s in there. It’s another few moments of the toilet flushing, drawers opening and closing, before he appears. From behind him, I can see that he’s cleaned the entire room, including my make up spread all over the counter from last night. He registers my open eyes, coming to the bed. He kneels on it, reaching out to stroke my shoulder.

“You okay?” He whispers. “I’m sorry if I woke you.”

“I’m still not feeling well.” I admit. The pangs in my stomach have weakened, but there is a definite off feeling still consuming my body.

“Okay. Stay in bed and rest.” 

“Are you leaving?” I whisper to him, reaching for his hand on the comforter. I enclose it with mine. I want him to stay, but understand that he probably has practice.

“No. Just going to make some coffee.” His thumb brushes along mine, squeezing as he release it.

“Okay.” I murmur, nestling myself deeper into my pillow. “Thank you for taking care of me.” I whisper to him as my eyes close. 

“Not much I wouldn’t do for you.” He murmurs. My breath catches in my chest when I feel his lips ghost over my hair. I keep my eyes closed until I register the soft click of the door shutting.

What was that?

I drift in and out of sleep for the next few hours. Adrian doesn’t return. Eventually, the smell of bread wafts down to me. I perk up a bit in bed, feeling my stomach bubble and groan. This feels like hunger more than anything else. I ease my way out of bed, padding out to the main area of my apartment. I pause, taking in the spotless living room and kitchen. It did not look like that last night. Adrian’s back is to me. I can hear the dishwasher running and eggs sizzling on the stove. 

Adrian turns to toss the egg shells in the trash can, smiling when he sees me.

“Hey.” I swear to God, I fall in love with him all over again, right there in my kitchen that he cleaned after scrubbing my vomit off the bathroom floor. 

“Hi.” I whimper out, walking around the island to give him an appreciative hug. “You cleaned my whole apartment.”

“Yeah.” He shrugs, like it’s not a big deal.

“How are you single?” I joke. He chuckles, then ends our hug after a shrug.

“You tell me.”

I don’t know. She is fucking crazy to have let you go.

“Sit down. I have some toast for you if you’re up for it.”

“I think I am.” I say to him, going to the counter and waiting for him to present me with a plate of perfectly toasted white bread. “Do you think I can I have jam?”

“That’s probably too much.” He murmurs, scraping his scrambles eggs onto a separate plate. I ponder that, then decide he’s probably right. 

Once his meal is done, eggs and toast with jam, he comes to is next to me with a cup of coffee. I want that, but know that will probably start my issues all over again. Our first few bites are in silence. His thigh keeps brushing against mine with how close he is sitting to me. I steal a glance at him, watching as his fork disappears between his lips. It takes all my restraint to not moan. Then, I remember the discreet kiss he dropped on me earlier this morning.

“Um, in the bedroom earlier…” I start, chewing softly on my toast. “What was that?” He puckers his lips in confusion, shaking his head. “You kissed me.” I murmur. “After saying you’d do anything for me.” He opens his mouth like he’s going to speak, then he closes it. He looks across the room, looking at the leaves on the trees outside as they dance in the wind.

“Do you know why Katie and I broke up?” He turns his head quickly back to me after he asks. I resist the urge to wrinkle my nose at her name.

“She wanted to get married and you didn’t?” 

“Yeah, that’s part of it.” I pause with the toast by my mouth. Something is shifting between us. Anticipation tingles in my limbs as I wait for what he says next.

“I never thought you two were right for each other.” I shrug, chomping on my toast and avoiding his gaze.

“Why?” He wonders, leaning forward in his chair, just a little closer to me. I lick my lips, shrugging. “Maybe it’s because you and I love each other?”

The silence between us is so thick it could be icing on a cake. I set my toast back down on the plate, swallowing the last bite I had in my mouth. My stomach sloshes for a completely different reason than an illness. He reaches out to hold my hand. Our fingers slide together, grasping at each other.

“I’ll never forget the moment that I realized I love you.” He’s speaking so softly. I tilt my head, watching his mouth as he speaks. Is this really happening? Or am I hallucinating from a lack of fluids. “It was at that country festival on the beach we go to at the beginning of the season. You were drunk and dancing and complaining about being dizzy. You fell into my arms, completely surrendering yourself to me. I almost dropped you and you joked about my quick hands. It was the first time I saw you as more than a friend. You reached up to brush the hair out of my eyes. I’ve never felt anything close to that with anyone else before or since then. One touch and I was done.”

“That was two years ago.” I respond, feeling my mouth go dry. 

“Yeah, and I’ve loved you every day since.”

I lean forward and place our lips together. My arms fall around his shoulders as I pull him closer to me. His hands dash into the hair at the back of my head, cradling it as our tongues touch. Soon, his hands trail down my back, coming under my butt to lift me from my chair to straddle his lap. I settle there easily, like I was made for him. Slowly, I pull away for air. My gaze drinks him in beneath me, lips shining from our kiss, blue eyes drunk on the look of me above him.

“You and Katie weren’t right for each other because you and I are.” I confess to him. He grins back at me. “I’m so in love with you.”

“We should be together then.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, baby.”

So many nights, alone in my bed, I dreamed of this. Now, his hands stroke my thighs, igniting a fire in me that only he can calm.

“Thank you for taking care of me.” It’s a soft whisper as I lean down to press my lips back to his. “I’ll have to find a way to repay you.” Adrian stills beneath me. I take his bottom lip between my teeth.

“We’re just gonna dive right in, eh?” He chuckles.

“Oh, if you wanna take it slow-“

“We’ve waited long enough.” He whispers against my lips.

My teeth connect with them because of my grin.

Turns out, Adrian Kempe is worth the wait.

[rurus-kadoo]

It is GoodTimesWithScar's birthday

and I'm going to tell you an abridged version of my life story because of it (aka: the many ways GoodTimesWithScar changed my life for the better)

Firstly, if it weren't for him, my MCYT phase would undoubtedly be over by now. I got into Hermitcraft in the same way as many other people probably did - a Mumbo "Building Your Redstone Ideas" video, lots of references to something called Hermitcraft Civil War, a spark of interest. I decided to watch Grian's perspective instead of Mumbo's for whatever reason, and I loved it. I zoomed through the Civil War, kept going through the rest of S6, hopped right into S7, and before I knew it, I was caught up to date, waiting for the next video to upload. So I decided I needed more. Grian had recently said a thing about how, despite the war and stuff, he and Scar were actually really good friends, so I decided to restart S7 from Scar's POV. And boy howdy, was that the right decision. The builds, the goofiness, the wholesome, chaotic energy, it was all just so amazing to me, and it still is! It hooked me in and hasn't released its grip since.

At some point, a couple months into watching him, I learned of his neuromuscular disease and was further awestruck by his resilience and how he manages to stay the most wholesome person on the internet despite it. Fast forward a few years, I've branched off into watching most every Hermit at some point, but Scar's stayed a constant for me. Then comes Update, and I learn he's been going through some horrible health-related stuff and my heart breaks for him. In between Update and Post-Surgery Update, I remember there was a time I was taking pictures for the school yearbook and all of a sudden I was overcome with this horrible sinking feeling and dread and terror that he might be dead. And I prayed and prayed and begged God to let him live and he did and, regardless of whether that panic was reasonable or not, I will never ever forget it, nor will I forget the incredible joy I felt upon seeing the Post-Surgery Update.

A couple of months later, I'm sitting on the school bus thinking about my future. My dad told me that, whatever I chose for my career path, I should make sure it has a balance between making me feel fulfilled, making me money, and making me happy. In the past, largely because of Scar and the other Hermits, I had had a dream to start a YouTube channel and someday, if not become a Hermit, at least meet them. This is still a dream of mine, but it's taken less precedence lately because of the realization I made that day. I love science, I love puzzles, I love reading and going down rabbit holes, I had considered going into the medical field a few times before, we don't know much about neuromuscular diseases, and I love watching Scar. And I remembered that sheer terror and I imagined the sheer joy if Scar no longer needed his wheelchair, if it was because of something I had done. And I know that's not likely, but I know in science every contribution helps, everything builds on each other, and it would certainly hit every mark on my dad's list.

In summary: Scar has defined a large portion of my childhood, and will define my adulthood (I am going into medical research (specifically neuromuscular diseases) because of him) and I wish him the happiest of happy birthdays- HANGON WAIT WHAT HE DID WHAT TO THE PERIMETER?????????? IS HE INSANE????????????????????????

[becauseanders]

Character Songs tag

so technically i wasn't actually tagged in this but @sillyliterature did say "and anyone else who wants to do this" in her post so i'm taking it, lol

Game Rules: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.

and i am going to also copy sillyliterature again by choosing anders in basically any variation of my canons/writings (so also always involving a romance with a female hawke, and of course also with some major focus on circle abuse and trauma), because that's the current mood, and i will also follow suit by putting it under a cut with lyrical excerpts!

and i will tag @dismalzelenka, @little--abyss, @faith-less-one, @magicalelvenjedicat, @fthechantry (and of course only if you want to!)

✨"Rock 'n' Roll Suicide" by David Bowie Oh no, love, you're not alone You're watching yourself, but you're too unfair You got your head all tangled up But if I could only make you care

Oh no, love, you're not alone No matter what or who you've been No matter when or where you've seen All the knives seem to lacerate your brain I've had my share, I'll help you with the pain You're not alone

Just turn on with me, and you're not alone Let's turn on and be not alone Gimme your hands, 'cause you're wonderful Gimme your hands, 'cause you're wonderful Oh, gimme your hands

✨"Marian" by The Sisters of Mercy In a sea of faces, in a sea of doubt In this cruel place your voice above the maelstrom In the wake of this ship of fools I'm falling further down If you can see me, Marian, reach out and take me home

I hear you calling ,Marian Across the water, across the wave I hear you calling, Marian Can you hear me calling you to Save me, save me, save me from the grave Marian

Marian, there's a weight above me And the pressure is all too strong To breathe deep Breathe long and hard To take the water down and go to sleep To sink still further Beneath the fatal wave Marian, I think I'm drowning This sea is killing me

✨"Do You Doubt Me Traitor" by Lingua Ignota I don't eat I don't sleep I don't eat I let it consume me

How do I break you Before you break me?

[…]

My friends all wear your colors Your flag flies above every door But bitch, I smell you bleeding And I know where you sleep

Do you doubt me, traitor? Throw your body in the fucking river I'm the cuntkiller

And I don't eat, I don't sleep I don't eat, I don't sleep

✨"Anhedonia" by Chelsea Wolfe and Emma Ruth Rundle Take an eye for an eye Take me down with you Take it all away

I know it all comes back times three That human, that demon showed me How it ends when you treat your friends like foes So don't come looking for me I've got my walls up now Protect myself like a fortress And I'm on my own now

No, I can't sleep, baby And waking up is just a dream My sadness has lost its cause And I'm suffocating So don't come looking for me I've got no joy to lend Protect myself like a fortress Isolating, bridge withdrawing Isolated, I can't take it

Anhedonia Anhedonia I'll be your silent witness I'll be your borderline I'll keep you safe and sacred Just keep your heart close to mine

✨"It Took the Night to Believe" by Sunn O))) A perfect silhouette What is destroyed by fire The withering egg Dialates full Unnourished In salutations of crescent eye Cry yourself to ash

A perfect silhouette The beacon lingers Cry yourself to ash The beacon lingers Cry yourself to ash A perfect silhouette It took the night to believe

…and i could go on for far longer so i am going to stop but shoutout as well to "Woe to All (On the Day of My Wrath)" by Lingua Ignota for being a spectacular chantry boom song!

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

Fucking how tf am I supposed to not feel like shit and always anxious if shit never fucking improves?? I am not that fucking self-deluded to fool myself into thinking this is still a good situation somehow. Yeah sure, there's always deeper in the hole, thank fuck I am not literally digging through the trash for bones to get some protein in my meals like the poor in this city that got featured in that grotesque, horror circus-style magazine story I remember reading about in the pandemic, but that sort of thought does not make life any easier when you're still having to rely on free food that takes you a total of 2h to get, per meal, and now donations from your sister's fiancee to get by the month.

And then yet I have to deal with my sister fucking throwing a hissy fit at any time I fucking complain about (1) thing, but also debase any fucking medical help I'm trying to get because apparently according to her, I'm not that bad off and should suck it the fuck up and "learn to manage (my) own stress better" while being completely unhelpful on that front besides telling me to meditate, which doesn't fucking solve shit??? And then she also gets mad when I have to whine and cry to our mother to not let her try to cut off our little assistance, because apparently that's begging and I should not be begging I should be demanding, when our parents are literally sinking into debt more and more and our mother can barely afford to pay the taxes for her freelance job??

Like, I'm going to fucking walk in on Tuesday to the health clinic, and update them on my deteriorating mental health, and it's going to fucking be the same fucking old adage of "you should exercise for your anxiety, you should learn to organize yourself better, you should manage your ADHD without meds, you should stress less" which is so fucking unhelpful as well. Platitudes like that I already get from the fucking web as well, Instagram loves to fucking show me WellnessTM posts on the greatness of exercise and being thankful for life, why am I fucking taking hours of my day every other month to hear that as well from people I was trying to seek some sort of further help??

And like, in general, I feel like I am going circles, and nothing ever gets better, only worser and worser, and like, I am really grateful for my sister's fiancee's kindness, but like, I've been the entire month trying to not get to this. Yes, because it's humiliating, yes I'm fucking prideful and I feel like I am an able enough adult that I should not need to depend on others' kindness to eat! But also because like, I am able enough to work, I have all sorts of skills, and I am more than fucking willing to do whatever it takes, but no one wants me regardless. And worse, it's pointless to seek a full-on job because university fucking gets in the way of everything, because I fucking switched to day classes because of my family's insistence, because I entered university in night classes originally and that offended them enough that they bothered me about it, and now I'm paying the price.

And then I talk to my one university friend, and she's like "yeah I'm struggling as well" and I try to commiserate with her, because that's what one does, it's like, I realize I'm struggling way more with way less than her. Yes, sure, she had to drop university twice, but also, she's doing 40h a week of classes, and undergrad research, and was sleeping like, 4h a night. No fucking wonder she snapped twice. Meanwhile I can barely get above 14h of credit/hours without flunking something, and even when I pass it's barely scraping by. How come she's being more seriously contemplated for ADHD and anxiety and all than I am?? I guess it's because I have to rely on the free clinic, while she's on her military daddy's insurance plan. God, I don't want to resent her, but I came so close to snapping at her in the group chat when she told me that she's struggling because she can barely sleep, and sure she's seeing stuff like I used to when I slept little, but she "just ignores it and it's fine!" while I used to be terrified I'd get killed by the fucking Balloon Boy from FNAF and shadow demons when I underslept.

God, fucking hell, I swear to fucking god, I am trying so fucking hard to act normal and be normal and not be a fucking mess but even that's hard and worsening my anxiety. And yet I don't get any help that sticks.

[steelcladbutterfly]

Yandere Archdemon (1)

This is the first version of my archdemon request, version 2 is being worked on right now. That is already 25,000 words and counting. This is more standard for my requests, while the second version is more for me and my inability to ever shut up on details. Anyways, hope you enjoy, the link to the yandere’s character sheet shall be posted below!

Character sheet

In some occult and similar writings, it’s a spiritual entity that is prominent as a leader of demons. They are seen as the evil counterparts of the archangels. While there is a rigid order to the classification of angels and their hierarchy, little if any can be found for demons as it has varied greatly throughout the years. Some people, specifically in medieval classification, see the seven deadly sins as archdemons. In the Occult tradition, there is controversy regarding which demons should be classed as archdemons. During different ages, some demons were historically "promoted" to archdemons, others were completely forgotten, and new ones were created. In ancient Jewish lore, many of the pagan gods of neighboring cultures were identified as extremely pernicious demons in order to prevent Jews from worshiping them.

I have never actually been to Las Vegas or in a penthouse before, so sorry if any of this is wrong.

Archdemon’s name is Andri.

Trapped in a dark warehouse by a demon was not what you had in mind for how to end a vacation, but somehow there you were.

“N-No!”

You pushed against his chest as he crushed you down against the table, slotting a knee between your legs to stop your kicking, and leaned down near your ear, tail wrapping around one of your ankles.

“Lovely, you really have to stop saying that word around me.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes as he slid you further up onto the cold metal beneath you with one hand, the other carding through your hair, to forcefully meld your lips together. As he swiped his tongue across your bottom lip, you really wished, not for the first time, that your friends hadn’t picked Vegas as your destination for vacation. 

~~~~~ 

A large truck, overflowing with bags and excitable adults, raced down the desert road, trailing whoops and shouts, which somewhat resembled the music drifting out as well. You groaned, sinking further into your seat as Natalie screeched out the window right behind you to the tune of the song currently blasting out of the radio.

“Oh come on! There’s no one to hear you out there, and you’re somehow making this heat worse. I feel like I’m melting.” 

You grumbled, close to plastering your face directly over the poor AC in the vehicle. A chuckle reached your ears and you glanced over at the driver’s seat, to see Stephan glance at you for a moment, before darting back to the windshield, focused on driving even as Natalie and the two others started up another screeching contest. At this point, you were sure it was less excited singing and more brutal, sadistic pleasure at the expense of your poor ears. 

“Come now, (Y/n), it’s not that bad. Besides, our hotel will have plenty of accommodations and it’s not like you have to come out with those hoodlums every day.” 

You scoffed, turning away slightly, glancing at the back row and the three noisy gremlins your friends had been reduced to. 

“Yeah, well if that’s what they’re going to be like this whole time, I doubt I’ll even go out, you can be their sober buddy. ‘Sides, they’re gremlins, not hoodlums.” 

(Un)Surprisingly, that’s what drew the gremlins’ attention away from the screaming contest they claimed to be singing. 

“Hey, hey! There’s no point then in you coming along if you just hole up in the hotel the whole time. Let loose and party~” 

Kevin draped himself over the top of the seat, arms wrapping around you as he talked. You wrinkled your nose, letting out a noise of disgust as his body heat further enabled the sweat already dripping uncomfortably from your back and neck to increase. He was useful in the winter for being a human space heater, not in the middle of a desert during the hottest days of summer. 

“Gross, you’re getting your sweat all over me. And who needs to let loose and party when I have Netflix and an air conditioned room?” 

Kevin reluctantly slipped his arms off, but remained hovering even as Anne piped up. 

“Yeah, yeah. You like being alone and not having to deal with a bunch of crazy people, but you should still get out and see the sights at least, I’ll even go with you. Anyways, Kevin only wants you to come so he can try to show off to you, even if it usually fails.” 

Kevin’s indignant squawk brought out a chuckle, especially since he finally stopped hovering and fell back into his actual seat. 

“I suppose a few days out and about won’t hurt. But try not to get in trouble for snapping pictures of every person you come across. You need permission after all.” 

Natalie chimed in at this point, rounding out the end of the screaming, finally. 

“Anne is always like this, and always with the, ‘but their face! I need to draw it!’” 

Despite the affronted look on her face, it was true. She got too into picture taking and wound up taking pictures of people and things she shouldn’t, with the intent to draw it later. It often got her in trouble, but hopefully if she goes with you, you can keep it to a minimum. You finally relaxed, ignoring the quiet argument in the back, and tried, and failed, not to focus on the uncomfortable feeling of the sweat dripping down your neck. 

~~~~~ 

Entering the hotel, you had a scowl firmly fixed on your face and a throbbing headache pounding at your skull. The silence had lasted until the next song started playing, at which point the ‘singing’ started up again. You had no idea how Stephan was able to remain so carefree, especially since the AC had given up in the last few miles. So, when you had arrived, Stephan helped you and the bellhop carry everything in. However, upon arriving and checking in, you had found that Natalie, Anne, and Kevin had ditched you. Stephan was little help as he had to get the truck checked out and the AC fixed, he’d already predicted something like this happening, so he was prepared for that at the very least. So, that left you and the bellhop to arrange everything in the rooms. 

You groaned, having finally waved away the eager man with a well deserved tip and sent a hurried text to let the rest of the group know the specific room number, before collapsing in the bedroom you had claimed as your own. While everyone had chipped in, it was Kevin who had really helped pay for the penthouse, considering he had been born into old money. He acted like a prick when you had first met him, acting like just because he was rich you should date him. A swift kick in the dick quickly changed his attitude and he just never left. Probably helped you had both been in first grade and he tried to boss you around on the playground while you were building a sandcastle. Everything goes on the playground and no one messes with your castle. He was a sweetheart in spite of his clinginess and lack of regard for others with the space heater that is his body during summer. 

Upon finally feeling like you had a normal body temperature again, you heaved yourself up, took a shower, changed, and finally took a good look around the rest of the suite. There were two other bedrooms, a living room with a flat screen tv taking up most of one wall, with a glass wall looking out over the Strip, currently soaked in mid afternoon sunlight. The bedrooms were all down one hallway, with the bathroom at the very end, which led off from the opposite side of the glass wall. The other side was marked off by a counter with a modern kitchen present. Only the fridge and a few shelves had anything in it, a few rows of wine and snacks present, likely requested by whoever had finally put in the reservation. Judging by the fancy labels and sweets prevalent among the snacks, it was likely Natalie. Off the kitchen was a closet and the door to the hallway. 

Letting out a sigh, you called up Stephan to let him know to pick up groceries. He was halfway through the truck’s inspection, but he said he would pick it up afterwards and hopefully the three gremlins would be back by then. You grumbled, still upset they had ditched you, but acquiesced and settled on the couch with the remote and TV guide. It took awhile, but you finally figured out how to hook up and access Netflix and settled down. 

The rest of the day passed slowly, with Stephan arriving laden with bags around dusk, barely able to knock for you to let him in. After everything was tucked away, he revealed the takeout from a restaurant he had passed on the way back to the hotel. Darkness crept over the Strip, lights flickering and blinking and shining all over the view from the suite. Anne arrived with a flurry of knocks around midnight, blush high on her fair cheeks as she stumbled in, followed closely by Kevin, whose blush was harder to see, but no less present. You rolled your eyes as they fell asleep immediately after being lugged into bed. However, Natalie did not show up. You sent several texts, but they weren’t answered, finally being shooed off to bed by Stephan. 

“We’ll worry about it in the morning. I’m sure Natalie’s fine.” 

~~~~~ 

The sound of your phone ringing roused you from your slumber. You groaned, squinting against the light coming from the window present in your room and picked up your phone, squinting at the name. ‘Natalie’ stood out to you in spite of your bleary vision. Still too tired to react in an appropriate manner to a friend who ditched you on the first day of vacation and then didn’t arrive back, you clicked accept and held the phone to your ear. 

“What is it Natalie? Where even are you?” 

A nervous chuckle reached your ears as you shuffled and got up, checking the clock by the bed, and noticing it was only six in the morning. 

“Well, we had gone to a club and I, well, became acquainted with someone. One thing led to another and I wound up at his place. Only thing is, I have no idea how to get back to the hotel safely. I asked Andri, but it seems his car is still in the shop, so I’m afraid I’m stuck here for now.”

You sighed, getting out of bed and stumbling to get ready. 

“Fine, I’ll pick you up. Where are you?” 

At this point, some shuffling occurred before a smooth, male voice rattled off an address, floor number, and room number. You told him you would be over soon, he shot off a pick up line, and you immediately hung up. It figured Natalie would find someone who likely flirted with everything that breathed on the very first day of vacation. You sighed once more, put in the coordinates the man gave you, and left. It was only a few miles away, so hopefully you should be back before too long. 

Sliding into the truck after spending several minutes finding where it was parked, you turned the key Stephan had left on the kitchen counter, and smiled as the AC started up smoothly as the truck rumbled to life. You technically could have taken public transport, but you’d rather not deal with cat calls or having to guide Natalie back on foot. The traffic was light, but you noticed the back roads were faster than the freeway even this early. Pulling into the lot, you were happy to find it was free, but paused as you got out, taking in the expensive high rise connected to the lot. 

“Yeesh, just who did Natalie sleep with?” 

Shrugging it off, you ambled up to the apartment complex, and found the number that the voice had told you. And sure enough, it belonged to a guy named Andri Dagon. Clicking the button, you were answered by the same smooth voice from the phone call.

“Yes, what is it?” 

“Um, Mr. Dagon? I’m here to pick up my friend, Natalie?” 

“Oh, right. So, you must be (Y/n)?” 

You rolled your eyes. It just figured that Natalie would give your name away to a stranger. 

“Yes, that’s me. Can you buzz me in now?” 

“Of course (Y/n). Hope to see your lovely face soon.” 

You gagged slightly, not comfortable with his flirting or the way he said your name. Soon, you were on the elevator, rising smoothly to the top floor. You found his room at the very end. Upon knocking, the door opened to reveal a tall, well built man with golden eyes and red and black hair. And of course, because it was your luck, you were met with the sight of him shirtless and all the marks Natalie had left on him. You tried to hide your grimace as he smirked down at you. 

“Mr. Dagon, I presume? I’m (Y/n).” 

He nodded, scooping your hand up and pressing his smirking lips to it for a kiss. Thoroughly on guard now, especially since you felt like there was something...off about him, you snatched your hand away before his lips could fully land, only brushing slightly against your knuckles, and holding it protectively to your chest. He blinked a few times, smirk gone for several seconds before he slipped back into his suave demeanor. 

“Lovely to meet you (Y/n). But, you can just call me Andri.” 

You nodded warily, firmly not going to call him that, but pressed on. 

“Anyways, I came for Natalie, Mr. Dagon. Is she ready to go yet?” 

Craning your head to try to look around the bulky man, you missed the frown that flashed across his face at being ignored. However, before he could say anything else, Natalie arrived, slipping past Andri, who only shifted slightly, luckily fully dressed. 

“Ah, sorry (Y/n), I just had a hard time finding my shoes.” 

You held up your hand, vaguely noting something seemed to be missing, stopping her from continuing on the same track of mind before it was too late and ambled down the hallway, Natalie trailing after you. She continued to chatter, so you just nodded along, forgetting the man you had left behind as soon as he was no longer in your line of sight.

~~~~~ 

Andri raised an eyebrow, smirking slightly as his ‘companion’ walked further and further away, following the one who had completely ignored his advances. Usually he stuck to one night stands, but if a few more interactions with that woman brought him the challenging prey that resisted his advances, then so be it.

He shut the door behind him, grabbing the ring he had snatched from (Y/n)’s hand before they could fully slip it away from him. He had some work to do if he wanted to keep track of them. It had been a long time since anyone had managed to completely ignore his charisma, magical or not. And, considering Natalie had said they just arrived, he should have at least a few weeks to figure out (Y/n), that and to find out who the rest of the group was and if there was anyone else in that group like them.

Few men or women could resist him when he turned on his charm, even angels had found their many eyes straying. He felt a smirk tugging at his lips. It had been so long since he’d come across someone even halfway interesting, and most of them fell upon fully taking him in. An airy chuckle fell from his lips. He got the feeling this (Y/n) would be fun.

~~~~~ 

Upon getting Natalie back to the penthouse, you were almost immediately dragged back out by Anne who clutched her camera close to her. You complied, if only to keep her from causing an outrage. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t complain though. 

“Why couldn’t you just drag out Kevin or Stephan? Also shouldn’t you have a hangover? How are you this peppy?” 

She laughed as she ushered you back into the truck, inputting the coordinates for the first stop on her list. The smooth voice of the gps and Anne’s own excited chattering filled your ears as you pulled out. 

“Well, Kevin is still passed out and you know Stephan is not a morning person. Besides, I’ve already taken an aspirin! And who has time for a hangover when there’s still so much to explore!” 

You sighed, shaking your head, even as laughter bubbles up at the way she practically vibrated in her seat. Anne had been looking forward to this trip, her job hardly ever allowed her to travel to places she wanted to go to, so this trip was something she had looked forward to. It almost made you forgive her for leaving you to get everything out of the truck on your own to get drunk. Almost. A little petty revenge in the form of randomly photobombing would definitely help the long and arduous process to forgiving her, after all a day out with a friend could seem to last forever. 

The end of the night was, of course, going to be dedicated to countless pictures of the fountains of Bellagio, but most of the day had ended up spent at the Fremont Street Experience. Anne got pictures and plenty of food, while you got new music suggestions and a new reason to avoid crowds. Day drinking is stupid to watch, especially when they try to zip line. Anne of course tried to join in, but the only place you managed to steer her to that didn’t prominently feature alcohol was, surprisingly, one of the casinos. 

Once inside, you stuck close to Anne, playing the part of her conscious, since the gremlin half was in firm control at the moment. No slot machines, she always loses and never learns, so a few rounds of blackjack would have to do. Anne was intent on playing for a big win, so you settled in for a few rounds yourself. You stopped after winning five out of six games and Anne looked close to crying as you raked in the earnings, relegating yourself to waiting her out and steadfastly ignoring anyone trying to come on to you. 

Most got the message, but one slid in to the seat beside you. You figured he was playing since he was dealt in, but halfway through a game he tried to talk to you. At which point you felt the urge to hurl yourself out a window intensify. 

“Never thought I’d see you again so soon, (Y/n).” 

Peeking over your shoulder revealed the handsome face of Andri, smirk still firmly in place from the morning, but thankfully wearing a shirt this time. The white shirt was covered by a black jacket, rolled up to reveal an expensive watch clinging to his wrist and bare forearms somehow not touched by the scorching sun outside. You decided to ignore him, even as he continued to talk at you.

“So, I did come for a game, but it sure is funny that we ran into each other so soon, right?” 

Anne peeked over at Andri and smiled, gesturing subtly for you to answer. You grimaced, but finally turned your head back over to him. 

“...Sure.” 

He soldiered on in spite of your obvious reluctance to answer. 

“I see you have a lot of luck with cards. Maybe we can play a game sometime, just the two of us?” 

“I guess I’m pretty lucky with cards, but I don’t know if I even want to play with you.”

He huffed, smirk widening and a gleam entering his eyes at your reply and the sound of Anne’s quiet squeal. 

“Who’s your lovely companion? I got to know Natalie rather well, but she did mention other friends.” 

Never one to wait for societal conventions, Anne eagerly introduced herself. 

“I’m Anne. It’s nice to meet you! What’s your name?” 

You grimaced once again as they started up a conversation. You smiled slightly at the dealer when he snorted at your expression, at which point he cleared his throat, going back to dealing out new hands for the next game, Andri having won several hands already before he decided to begin speaking. But, when his eyes darted over to you, you waggled your eyebrows at him, causing him to snort once more. You were so caught up in teasing the man, that you failed to notice the conversation had petered out around you until Anne tugged at your arm. 

You allowed her to pull you away, once again ignoring the oddly quiet Andri, who remained seated at the table. If you had looked back, you would have noticed the dark look in his eyes as he glared at the dealer. Unfortunately, you were focused on the giggling Anne. 

“Isn’t Andri great? He’s cute and knows how to keep a conversation going. Not to mention he’s got your luck with cards.” 

You shrugged, but allowed her to continue to lead the way, to cash in the chips you had before heading out of the casino and the street experience to the truck. 

“I don’t trust him. There’s something about him that rubs me the wrong way.” 

“Oh come on, you say that about anyone who hits on you! You should go for it.” 

“Yeah right. It’s obvious he’s not looking for something permanent. Besides, shouldn’t I focus on enjoying myself?” 

“I suppose. But what if he’s the way to enjoy yourself, hmm?” 

You snorted as she raised her eyebrows at you, pursing her lips in exaggeration. 

“Oh, please. I enjoy myself by going out and exploring. Or staying inside to watch other people explore.” 

Anne burst into laughter, clutching at your arm for support. 

“That last part’s probably more true. You’ll only go out if you have to, someone asks you to, or you get too cooped up.” 

“Hey! I’m out now, aren’t I?” 

In spite of your protests, Anne continued to laugh at you all the way to the next destination.

~~~~~ 

A cry of pain fell from the dealer’s lips as Andri stood over him, a dark look present in his eyes. 

“Pathetic. This is what they pass me over for? Well, no matter, I’ll get them eventually, I always get what I want. And no one else will claim them first. Especially not you.”

The manager of the casino hovered nervously in the background, unsure how to intrude on Andri’s brutal beatdown of one of his employees. When he had been waved over to pull the dealer away, he figured it was something about how the cards had been dealt, not whatever was going on in front of him. He winced as another kick landed on the man’s stomach, finally working up the nerve to intervene. 

“Um. Mr. Dagon?” 

He balked slightly as Andri’s golden gaze tinged with red cut straight through him, a snarl prominently featured on his face. 

“I-I’m sorry for interrupting, but his table opens up again soon, and I need him out there!” 

He flinched, half afraid he’d be beat up, but relaxed slightly when nothing happened. Andri simply sighed and eased off from where he had been pressing at the dealer’s stomach with a polished, black shoe. 

“Fine. But if I ever see you interacting with them again, I might not stop until I’ve broken a few bones. Got it?” 

Andri growled out the question, scoffing when the man frantically nodded before finally leaving, his jacket fluttering behind him as he turned the corner. The manager waited until his footsteps faded away before rushing to help the other man up. Coughing erupted as he hacked up a few wads of blood, looking up at the manager in fear and disbelief. 

“What’s with that guy!? I never even talked to the person.” 

“Believe me, it could have been worse. Just be lucky he actually let you off here. He usually breaks a few bones if he’s really interested. He’s like this with any fling he takes more than a passing interest in, I’ve seen it play out a few times before, even if it hardly ever lasts beyond a week. At the very least, Dagon seems like the kind of man to stake his claim only until he gets what he wants. I wouldn’t hate to imagine what he would be like if he was actually serious.”

The dealer wavered before walking away, the manager following behind, leaving only a few blood splatters to indicate what had happened before. 

~~~~~ 

By the time you arrived back to the hotel, you were ready to pass out. Your feet ached from walking nearly the whole day and from running after Anne whenever she nearly slipped from your view. Anne was still hyped up, but prepared for another night at a bar, as she gushed with Natalie over the pictures she took. Kevin hesitantly walked over to where you were slowly eating. 

“So, (Y/n). Do you...want to come with us?” 

“Not today. I’ve already had my dosage of excitement from following Anne around.” 

You grumbled, thinking back over the day and the unfortunate run-in with Andri. You narrowed your eyes slightly. Something about him rubbed you the wrong way. 

“O-Oh. Alright.” 

Kevin looked dejected, like a sad puppy, so you begrudgingly agreed to go later in the week, especially since Stephan already made everyone promise to go to a show premiering tomorrow night with him.

You waved them off, Stephan accompanying them this time to make sure they don’t get into too much trouble, leaving you to your own devices. Of course, that meant hogging the couch and tv while slowly working your way through Stephan’s ice cream stash he thought he could hide from you. You were helping him with an addiction, that’s all it was. Just sweet, sweet rehab. 

Or at least it was until you noticed a familiar flash was no longer present as you lifted the spoon. The ring you wore was gone. You wore it so often you hardly noticed it was there, but also meant you didn’t notice when it was gone. You knew you should have gotten it tightened. You lost track of time looking over the room, hoping it had slipped off the previous night or while you were in the kitchen, but you had no luck. You remembered wearing it right before going to bed, having forgotten to take it off for the night, but could not find it in the sheets, not under or around the bed. The kitchen was also a flop as was the living room. 

You were panicking now as the locations it could be narrowed inside. You kept desperately searching knowing that if it fell off outside, you would likely never find it. Time was lost as you looked until the door suddenly opened, admitting the rest of your group, three of whom were too drunk to notice your desperate form. Stephan calling your name broke you out of uselessly pawing under the couch cushions. 

Your teary-eyed gaze met Stephan’s concerned amber hues, but before he could say anything, you bolted out the door, intent on finding the truck and searching through that, only briefly hearing Stephan’s concerned shouts and curses as he tried to catch up with you as the elevator you slipped into closed. By the time you had found the truck and started searching desperately, he had caught up, bending over and heaving for breath. 

“You know...I’m pretty sure...that the staff think we had...had a breakup or something. Whew, you can run fast when you want to!” 

His chuckles petered off as you began to sniffle and your eyesight began to waver and blur from a buildup of tears. You slowed as you still came up empty, tears finally running down your face. Stephan’s hand hesitantly met your shoulder. 

“What’s wrong?” 

You sniffled again, allowing him to pull you up and start to guide you back to the hotel. 

“I lost my ring. And I don’t know when.” 

“Your ring? You mean the one you found on the ground?” 

“Yes. What of it? I’m not used to going without it now.” 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. I remember in high school when you thought you lost it. Your dad turned your room upside while you were at school because you were crying, only to find it wedged under your nightstand.” 

He chuckled at the memory, but went quiet once more as you entered the lobby and headed for the elevator. 

“Listen, if we can’t find it tomorrow, how about I buy you a new one?” 

You sighed, still distraught, but too tired to put up more of a fuss. 

“Alright.” 

Stephan snorted as the elevator’s door smoothly opened onto the correct floor. 

“I know, a new one won’t compare to the ring you have. But maybe just think of it as a souvenir for the trip.” 

You nodded, close to dozing off as Stephan guided you to your room. 

“We’ll check all the places you went to, to see if we can find it. I’ll even wake up early and try not to complain too much, alright?” 

You snorted at his teasing tone, agreeing even as darkness overcame your vision and you drifted off to sleep. 

~~~~~

The next day was spent driving around with Stephan, checking as many places as you could remember that you visited with Anne. Asking around, glancing into any lost and found boxes in the locations that had them, scouring the ground. By mid afternoon, you had crossed off all the places you had gone to. 

“Anywhere else you went yesterday?” 

Your eyes widened as you remembered one other place. 

“Well, I actually went to pick up Natalie yesterday morning. But I doubt it’s there.” 

Mostly because you didn’t want to actively meet up with Andri. 

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Where did you pick her up?” 

You sighed, pulling up the location you had been given yesterday reluctantly. Stephan reacted in a similar manner to whenever you first arrived and remained gawking as you buzzed Andri’s number, hoping he wouldn’t be there. However, you were proven wrong as he picked up almost immediately. 

“Hello? Who is it?” 

“...Hello, Dagon. It’s (Y/n). I might have lost an item on my way up to pick up Natalie yesterday, so I was wondering if you could buzz me in so I can check?” 

He sounded less surprised to be greeted by your voice than you thought possible. 

“Ah, (Y/n). How lovely to hear your voice once again! Of course you can come in. And I thought I told you to call me Andri.”

You thanked him, already intent on searching as quickly as possible and getting out before you had to interact with him. Unfortunately as you and Stephan began searching the lobby, the elevator opened to reveal Andri, who sauntered out and directly for you. 

“I figured I couldn’t leave you to search alone, lovely. So, I figured I would help you. What exactly are you searching for?” 

You were saved from having to answer when Stephan piped up. 

“Well, thanks for your help Andri! We’re looking for a ring, thin and silver, slightly dull, with a few flowers carved into the metal.” 

You pulled away from Andri, searching another part of the lobby as you listened with surprise to his answer. 

“I don’t recall saying you could call me by my first name. Who are you anyways?” 

He had a look of disgust as he stared down Stephan, flipping how he had interacting with you on its head. Of course, Stephan adjusted accordingly. 

“Ah, my apologies Mr. Dagon. I just assumed since you were fine with (Y/n) calling you by your first name. Ah, right. My name’s Stephan Chavez. I’m fine with just Stephan though.” 

A sneer crossed Andri’s face, as he took in the man across from him. Natalie was hardly a problem and Anne seemed far more starstruck by him to be any competition, but this Stephan character might just be standing in his way, more intent on admiring from afar than fully falling under his charm’s control. Of course, he was well aware that attacking unprovoked would lead to a downward spiral, so he held himself together with only a clipped retort. 

“Of course, Chavez. So, a ring? Any luck so far?” 

Sauntering back in your direction, he began ignoring Stephan just as much as you tried to ignore him. It was adorable that you thought he bought your act. Of course, you could hardly ignore him if he directed such a pointed question. 

“Not yet. I’m not even sure I’ll be able to find it. This is the last place to check after all.” 

He chuckled at that, causing you to scoot further away and closer to the elevator as you finished checking your side of the lobby. 

“Saving the best for last?” 

You grimaced, heading into the elevators as you told Stephan you were finished. Andri followed you in, causing you to shift uncomfortably. 

“Why are you following me? We hardly even know each other what reason do you have for helping me?” 

“What, I can’t help out someone as lovely as you in your hour of need? Besides, I’d feel bad if you couldn’t find it, surely I can treat you to something in recompense? How about I take you out to dinner tonight?” 

He slid his arm over your shoulder, crowding you in when the elevator dinged, and the doors slid open. You shrugged off his arm roughly, pushing past him. 

“Personally, I’d rather you stop trying to flirt with me. It makes me uncomfortable, and frankly I still don’t trust you or like you. Besides, I promised Stephan I’d see a movie with him tonight, he wanted all of us to see it. So, if I had to pick between a trusted friend who already gained a promise for a movie versus a stranger who thinks I can be bought by food and flirtations, I’ll always pick my friend,” you huffed, frowning at his still form towering over you. Maybe it was a bad decision to say that right now. But, before you could contemplate it too much, he laughed, moving past you. 

“Fair enough, how about tomorrow then? I can take you and your...friends out for dinner, help you see I’m not that bad a guy? I’ll call Natalie, let her know about it. Good luck with searching for your ring. If you can’t find it, maybe I’ll take you out sometime to buy a new one. Oh yeah, and make sure you guys wear something nice tomorrow.”

You gaped, watching him saunter back to his room, pulling out his phone to presumably call Natalie. It’s like he completely ignored your answer, merely shoving himself in where he could in an attempt to get what he wanted. You sighed, knowing that with how starstruck Natalie and Anne were, they would insist on it even without you. But they could get themselves in trouble if they went alone, so it looked like Andri was getting what he wanted, for now. 

~~~~~ 

You were despondent on the way back to the hotel. You failed to find your ring and your phone had blown up with excited text messages from your other friends, proclaiming they couldn’t wait for tomorrow and wanting to know how you managed to get such a lucky break. Stephan pulled into a space, but you remained in the truck for several moments. You groaned, burying your head in your hands, despondent both over the loss of your ring and the prospect of having to hang out with Andri. You were so wrapped up in self-pity that you failed to notice Stephan hadn’t exited the truck either until a hesitant hand met your back. 

Jumping, you glanced over to meet the steadfast and reassuring eyes of your friend. He continued to pat your back as you slowly relaxed. 

“Hey, if you don’t want to do anything later, I’m fine with you staying back. I don’t want you to feel stressed out, especially on a vacation.” 

Sighing, you straightened, pulling open the door and stepping out, moving around the back to where Stephan was now waiting. You began to walk back up the lot before finally answering. 

“Nah, I’ll be fine. I know you’ve been looking forward to this as well, and I shouldn’t just mope in my room all day when you tried your hardest to help me. ‘Sides, I’ve actually been looking forward to this as well. Your hype rubbed off on me.” 

You chuckled, Stephan following suit. The rest of the walk was silent, with only Stephan remarking once more that if you weren’t feeling up to it, you didn’t have to come. 

Of course, arriving back to the hotel room was an experience as Natalie and Anne pulled you into their room and demanding all the details of what Andri had told you, leading to rapid fire questions you held very few answers to. This ended up eating up all the time left to get ready for the movie, so it felt as if one moment you were answering questions and the next you were already entering the theatre.

~~~~~ 

Unfortunately, despite how interesting it was, the movie - and the night - couldn’t last forever. So, you woke up the next day to be greeted by a text from an unknown number filled with plenty of flirtatious remarks and a location with a time to be there by and his name to tell the staff for the reservation. Obviously, Andri managed to wrangle your number from Natalie. Figuring his inability to take no for an answer spread to attempts at blocking numbers, you put his contact information down eloquently, as ‘Asshole.’ This was further proven when Natalie accosted you where you were eating breakfast next to a sleepy Kevin, whose cereal fell more into the bowl than into his mouth. 

“So, Andri asked me for your number, so I’m guessing he gave you the time and location for where we’re going for dinner?” 

You sighed, showing her what he sent. Natalie scrolled obsessively through the numerous texts he sent while Kevin seemed to wake up from the sleepy stupor he had been existing in as Natalie gushed over how romantic Andri was. Personally, you couldn’t see it, but she at least seemed to like the overly flirtatious man. 

“Wait, wait,” Kevin piped up, “He’s flirting with you? When Anne told me about it, I thought he was just going through you to get to her.” 

Natalie scoffed at that. 

“Yeah right. It’s obvious he wants to get with me again. Why else would he text me so much?” 

She walked off after handing you back your phone. You watched her sashay back to her room when a tug at your sleeve drew your attention back to Kevin. 

“Wait, so is he flirting with you or not?” 

He looked worried, beginning to worriedly chew at his bottom lip, a nervous habit he had yet to break. 

“I’m pretty sure he’s flirting with all three of us. He just seems intent on me for right now. Probably because I didn’t immediately give the impression ‘Take me, I’m yours!’ Personally, I plan on ignoring him and having Natalie and Anne as buffers will help immensely. I mean, they seem to like him well enough. Though I still wouldn’t want them going out with him regardless.”

Kevin relaxed at that, releasing his lip as he resumed scooping up cereal. 

“Well, that’s good at least, I would hate to have to worry about you falling for some random guy.” 

You snorted, deciding to tease him for his not so hidden crush on you. If he ever got around to asking, you’d probably agree to a date, but he hasn’t worked up the courage yet. 

“What about Natalie and Anne? Do you not care about them falling for some random guy?” 

“O-Of course I care. I-It’s just, well, ah. How do I say it? I, er, I mean!” 

You laughed, unable to keep a straight face as he stuttered and stammered, face going a bright red. 

“I’m just teasing~ No need to get so worked up.” 

You giggled, watching him calm down, then pull a face as he ate the soggy cereal left in the bowl. You patted him lightly in the back. 

“Hey, if it makes you feel any better you can come along. He did say I could bring my friends after all.” 

Kevin looked dissatisfied for an instance, before a smile spread across his lips. 

“Yeah, sure why not. Could be interesting, and besides, I still have to meet this guy.” 

“There’s the spirit! Nothing to worry about with you by my side, after all.” 

You laughed once more as Kevin fell into a stammering, blushing mess once more. At least with your friends it shouldn’t be too bad. 

~~~~~ 

Of course, then again, there is always complications. Your group arrived at a lavish restaurant about a half hour before the actual meeting time. It came down to Natalie wanting to be there as soon as possible and Stephan - the only one who looked up the place in advance - trying to make sure everyone looked their best. 

So, by the time your group had arrived, you were in clothes that just barely fit in with the rest of the patrons. And, of course, walking up to the maitre d’ for the reservation ended up with you being promptly escorted to a table near the back, with the rest of your group scrambling to keep up with the fast pace, to where Andri was already waiting with wine glasses. 

“Ah, I’m glad to see you arrived all right. How about some wine to start off the night?” 

You immediately cringed as he lay it on thick, sliding closer to you, but you noticed the bad vibe you felt from him seemed to have vanished for once. So, you felt slightly more at ease even if his intentions didn’t seem to have changed.

“Yeah, no. I’m good. I don’t really like drinking.” 

You pushed him away slightly, whereupon Natalie and Anne promptly took the seats to either side of him, Anne grabbing the glass in your stead, uncorking the wine bottle at its side.

“Hey, I don’t mind drinking it! I love wine, it’s almost as good as you.” 

You giggled at the sudden change in expression on his face, and the terrible line by Anne, confusion overwhelming his features. You were drawn into a conversation with Kevin as he slid in, with Stephan taking a seat beside Natalie on the other side of the table. During this, you missed the light flush that tinted Andri’s face upon seeing your smile and hearing your laugh, though it swiftly vanished as his line of sight narrowed in on Kevin.

~~~~~

He had thought that (Y/n) may have brought a couple people, not the whole group. The unknown currently taking (Y/n)’s attention away from him looked like he’d be even more trouble than Stephan or the girls. He hated unknowns, especially when they got in the way of what he wanted. At the very least, it was a chance to see what they were like when he wasn’t interacting with them. Mostly because the two girls were hanging off his arms with all their might. Probably laid the charm on too much. He had resolved to stop using the charm, if only to see how they would react without it hanging over their senses every time he came onto them.

Then again, that only had him all the more intrigued by (Y/n). They had managed to completely bypass his charm, otherwise (Y/n) would have become giggling idiot just like the ones attempting to distract him. Every time he saw (Y/n), they did something to grab his attention and draw him in even more. He wasn’t even sure if he just wanted to get with them simply for the sex anymore, like Natalie. And she hadn’t even been that good of a lay. 

“So, Andri.” The drawl took his attention away from where he had been staring at (Y/n) and drew it down to Natalie, who was clutching his left arm close to her chest. “What are you going to do tomorrow? I was thinking maybe we could go out, just the two of us, maybe like that first night?” 

Anne butted in before Andri could rebuff her advances. 

“No way! If anything, he should go out with me! He lives here, I’m sure he knows a lot of interesting sights. Don’t you, Andri?” 

She looked up at him shyly even as Natalie began to argue with her. He could kind of see now how (Y/n) might have felt with his own advances. Another voice drew his attention back to the one consuming his thoughts, where they were currently laughing at his plight. He felt his cheeks heat up once again as they laughed at him, mirth dancing in their eyes. With beauty like that, Andri felt even if he had anything to say to them right at that moment, he probably couldn’t as his throat felt like it closed up. 

He had been interested in them at first simply for their rebuffing of his advances and having a pretty face. But as he had followed them around the past few days and now as he took them in, he found himself feeling something...deeper than carnal desires when he looked at them. He found it hard to breathe as his chest constricted and he wondered if they had a magic of their own that had him feeling so helpless merely from a glance. He barely even noticed as the waiter came for their orders or even when she returned with the food.

But, whatever had happened promptly shattered as the unknown brushed their hair away from their eyes and they smiled at him. Andri felt rage this time, an emotion he knew well. No matter his changing feelings for (Y/n), he still felt a claim to them, even if the reason had changed slightly and deepened. Maybe the weird feeling would vanish if he fucked it out, maybe it would grow. But there was no way to know when he had idiots clinging to his arms and an unknown interacting closely with (Y/n). 

There was little he could do in a public area with his movement hampered by the women, so Andri found himself forced to hold in his anger and interact with (Y/n) only through the quiet chatter that surrounded the table. Soon enough, he found himself close to exploding with rage even as he helped the giggling idiots into the dinky truck. He was prepared to take off and find some way to alleviate his problem onto the first unfortunate soul he came across when a delicate touch to his shoulders turned him around. 

He found his throat closed up once more and any words he could have said dried up as (Y/n) gave him a hesitant smile, frame shining with the lights, looking almost like they were glowing. And he found, despite feeling suddenly lightheaded, that he could easily focus on each word that fell from their lips. 

“Hey, I suppose you aren’t as bad as I thought you were. I mean, you actually put up with Natalie and Anne clinging onto you nearly the whole night.” They laughed once again and Andri felt he would never grow tired of it. “Anyways, I actually had fun. The food was good and the staff were polite, even if I felt kind of out of place with what I was wearing.” Andri’s eyes fell to the formal wear. It wasn’t too bad, but it was outdated and had seen better days. He idly noted he would have to fix that. “Thank you for tonight. I wasn’t really looking forward to it, but I actually found I enjoyed it. And it seems like Kevin’s almost worked up enough nerve to try to ask me out. Ah! Sorry I was rambling. Good night, Andri.” 

(Y/n) walked away with an awkward wave, climbing into the truck before it drove off. Andri stood frozen for several seconds, wrestling with the sudden emotional impact they had left with him. That unknown was trying to take what was his. But he finally heard his name fall from those cute lips. It was both a step forward and a leap sideways and headfirst into a wall. 

Andri growled, feeling his horns slowly creep out of his skull as emotions got the better of him. His eyes flashed a luminescent scarlet for a brief moment before he whirled around and strode off into the darkness of the night, his tail lashing angrily at the air behind him. It seemed he still had plenty of work to do before the cute, little morsel was his.

~~~~~ 

After the dinner with Andri, the next few days passed in a whirlwind. You were dragged out of the comfort of the inside of a quiet room and through noisy, popular casinos and bars. Natalie dragged you to most of the bars, while Anne dragged you through casinos. When you asked why they insisted on dragging you with them, their answer seemed inane at the time. 

“Because it seems like wherever you go, Andri seems to appear!” 

You were swift to doubt, especially after he failed to show up the first day, but your doubts were quickly crushed when nine times out of ten he showed up to wherever you had been dragged to. You would be far more suspicious if the places weren’t incredibly popular and if he still had that aura around him that caused you uneasiness, but considering he at least attempted to rein in the flirting, you were fine with chalking it up to a coincidence. He had some interesting tales and many times you found yourself in deep conversation with him. 

Whether Natalie or Anne, they tended to hold onto one of his arms and seemed content to simply stare wistfully at his face. Maybe it was less Andri you were worried about, and more your friends. You would hate for them to have their hearts broken when they had to leave. However, slowly but surely, as the week came to a close, they stopped hanging off his arm, stopped looking for him, and stopped dragging you along with them. They still went out, but it seemed as if they were coming out of a spell as they lost interest in Andri the longer he was around them.

Instead, you found yourself receiving invitations straight from the man himself to hang out with him. You still weren’t completely fine with going with him one on one, so when he asked for your presence, saying he was waiting in the parking lot for your response (you assumed one of the girls gave him the hotel’s address) you agreed but only on the condition you could bring a friend. You had to wait several long moments for his reply, like he was hesitating, but he ultimately agreed. So, you tugged Kevin along with you. 

You figured that after your thing with Andri, you could finally hang out with Kevin like he wanted. Which was probably the only reason he agreed to come. Unlike you or the girls, Kevin was terrified of Andri, but much like you he stated it was just something about him that seemed almost like he was only one wrong move from being ripped to shreds. 

“Well, then, it’s a good thing I’ll be there to protect you.” 

You were still giggling as you exited the hotel, with a red-faced Kevin close behind. Andri had been lounging against a luxury sports car when his head shot up at the sound of your amusement, giving his location away. You faltered when you thought his eyes flashed red at the sight of Kevin, but shook it off. The flirtatious man was merely smiling broadly as you approached. 

“I am glad you took me up on my offer. And I see you brought...Kevin with you.” 

“Yep! So, where are we going?” 

“Well, I noticed that you had seemed unsatisfied with what you were wearing when I took you out for dinner, so I figured I would bring you to a few boutiques so you can find something that suits you. And possibly to find you a new ring, I see you still haven’t found it.” 

You hadn’t realized you were subconsciously rubbing at where your ring used to sit, still unused to having a naked finger. Andri gently took your hand, guiding you to the passenger’s seat in the front of the car, while Kevin scrambled to get a seat in the back. From the way Andri’s hand stiffened in yours, you figured he disliked anyone even unintentionally scuffing up his car. You squeezed his hand lightly, drawing his attention back to you. 

“You really don’t have to do this, but I suppose I appreciate it regardless. I can help pay of course.” You ignored his protests and insistence on paying for everything in favor of soldiering on. “Also, don’t worry too much about Kevin. I’m sure he won’t mess up your car.” 

You smiled, allowing yourself to be guided into the car after a slight pause from Andri at your words and an unreadable look crossed his face for a brief moment as his golden-eyed gaze took in both you and the hunched form of Kevin, before the door was shut behind you. Andri swiftly moved around the car, sliding into place at the wheel. 

He eased out of the spot and before you knew it, he was racing along the roads on a path he obviously knew well. You felt it was a comfortable silence as he turned on the radio, which was helped along by the colorful blur beyond the windows as he passed street after street. Upon reaching his destination, Andri got out and opened your door, holding out his hand for you to take. You were really beginning to be convinced that Andri’s flirtatious manners were simply a part of his character and that was what threw you off upon first meeting him. 

You gaped at the shop he led you to, feeling judgmental eyes upon you after entering, with Kevin following close behind. However, as soon as Andri stepped in, that seemed to vanish and a flurry of activity occurred. You began to browse through the displays and racks of fancy and expensive looking clothes as Andri sauntered up to the register. He began a conversation, gesturing in your direction as the person manning the register nodded frantically. 

Your attention was pulled away as Kevin tugged on your sleeve, striking a ridiculous pose as the absurdly large, floppy hat he had placed on his head fully concealed his features. 

“What do you think? Really brings out my eyes doesn’t it?” 

You snorted, desperately trying not to laugh in the middle of the shop as he struck a variety of poses, all with the hat flopping down to conceal most of his face no matter how he posed. He seemed to be working up to a finale when someone cleared their throat directly behind you. You jumped, glancing back, seeing the woman Andri had been talking to, with a name plate (Alexia Koche) that showed she was the manager, and Andri himself. 

“We are pleased to serve you, but we would appreciate if you kept the merchandise where it belongs unless you plan to enter a changing room or to purchase.” 

Kevin froze, hastily trying to pull the hat off, but stumbled and almost fell if you hadn’t caught him in time. You felt a sudden shiver go down your spine, like someone was glaring at you, but looking over your shoulder revealed only the disapproving Alexia and smiling Andri. At least he had also seemed amused by Kevin’s little show. You helped him pull the hat off, but as he went to put it back, you were tugged around to meet the suddenly smiling Alexia. 

“Good day Mx. (L/n). Mr. Dagon has told me you are looking for new outfits? You may browse the shop and tell me which ones interest you, and I’ll make sure they are in a changing room for you to try on.” 

You raised an eyebrow at the sudden formality and the fact that Andri was well known not only at casinos and bars, but also at high end boutiques. And you found out that anything that interested you didn’t mean telling her so much as staring or touching for longer than five seconds. By the time you opened the door to the changing room, you found a formidable pile of clothes awaiting you, what seemed like half of the shop’s items.

You gaped slightly, but trotted in with a promise to model the outfits you liked the most. The pile was large, but you were quick to make another rapidly growing pile of clothes that you simply didn’t tear your eyes away from soon enough. You really wondered how anyone could call such tacky clothes high fashion. But it seemed that if a well known celebrity or fashion brand released or wore something, it was suddenly popular no matter how lame it actually looked. 

You did find several outfits that interested you, which you set to your other side in a significantly smaller pile. Then, with that done, you sat back on your haunches and picked up the first outfit. 

Chattering from down the hall fell silent as you emerged, Kevin off to the side as Alexia and Andri conversed. Kevin was the first to see you and exclaimed at the sight. 

“Wow! That looks great!” 

Andri appeared to be surprised and Alexia oohed over your first choice. A long sleeved shirt, with swirls of pink, orange, and white forming the bodice, with lacy sleeves that fluttered with your movement, complimented by a pair of thick leggings colored in black with lines of green shooting down the legs like tendrils of vine or ivy. You had even managed to find strappy, low heeled shoes that added an elegant touch to the bottom of the ensemble. 

You found your face heating up as you turned to and fro, posing slightly as you let the others examine your outfit. Andri’s face appeared to be overtaken by a red hue. You quirked your lips as he met your eyes, the blush amusing on the man. You waggled your eyebrows and he turned away, revealing a red tipped ear through the black and red streaked hair. The smile on your face spread a little wider. 

“I like this outfit. But, there are still other options, so I’ll see what else I like.” 

You could see that both Andri and Alexia were ready to argue against you getting only one outfit. So, you headed back and continued on with new outfits. Finally, after several hours, you decided on the first outfit, alongside a tidy suit that emphasized your legs, and a summer dress that had the feel of a ball gown with the elaborate patterns in the white, transparent layer over a sky blue base that started as an off white at the top of the dress. You added on a much tamer floppy hat than the one Kevin goofed around in, that had a colorful ribbon around the base that trailed over the rim. 

Kevin heaped on numerous compliments and Andri seemed to become so red, even his eyes reflected the color of his face. After you decided, and offered to help put everything away - which Alexia rebuffed - you headed back to Andri’s car expecting to be taken back to the hotel. However, you soon found yourself in front of a jewelry store. You looked around, confused, but were pulled gently from the car once more by Andri. 

Kevin stayed back after Andri whispered something in his ear, so you were guided in with only Andri by your side. You looked up at him and he chuckled, a deep, rich timbre to it that was strangely attractive when not preceded by an awful pickup line.

“Did you forget that I promised to help you find a replacement for your...misplaced ring? Or did you think I wasn’t serious?” 

You scoffed, turning your face away as it heated up from embarrassment. 

“...Maybe a bit of both.” 

He laughed loudly at that, drawing the attention of the man behind a display case of large and gaudy necklaces. He looked annoyed for a moment, seemingly ready to tell Andri off, but upon taking him in, stopped, and paled slightly. You tilted your head, eyebrows furrowing as something seemed off with the way the man reacted. However, before you could come to a concrete conclusion, Andri followed your line of sight to the man and, tugging you along as his arm hooked onto yours, sauntered over to the employee. 

“Hello Daniel. I see you’re doing well. I’ve come to help lovely here look for a new ring. They lost their’s last week, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to help me find them a new one. Surely you can do at least that?” 

You shifted awkwardly, feeling as though you were missing something important in this conversation. The way Daniel stammered and agreed without a fuss despite looking like he’d rather be anywhere else unnerved you. An arm suddenly clasping your waist and pulling you flush against a warm body pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up to find Andri’s golden gaze staring back at you. He dipped his head further down, whispering in your ear.

“It’s best if you let me call you lovely for now. Daniel is not the kind of man to really trust your name to, especially if you’re with me. He’s good with gems, but otherwise I wouldn’t trust him as far as I could throw him. But not to worry. I’ll keep you safe, lovely.” 

You nodded slowly, but remained unsure throughout the time spent in the store. Daniel seemed more sweaty and nervous than some vile excuse for a human being. But his shifting eyes did clue you in to something more to the man than just a jeweler. Unfortunately, you failed to find a ring that suited you, leaving you downtrodden as you exited. It wouldn’t have truly replaced your ring, but it would have been better than nothing. But, compared to a ring you found on the ground, the prices on the jewel studded and engraved rings caused you to back off. It was one thing to buy clothing, it was another thing to buy a ring costing thousands of dollars simply to replace a relatively worthless one just to cover your finger. 

Andri offered to bring you to other stores, but you declined, noticing Kevin seemed anxious to get back, and also not keen on driving to other stores only to balk at the prices over and over. He seemed dissatisfied, but drove you back regardless with an offer to take you out to dinner later in the week. 

You asked Kevin if he wanted to go out like he asked for earlier in the vacation, but he begged off. 

“How about later in the week? I’m sure you’re tired from the day we’ve had. I’m with putting it off for now. Maybe when Stephan takes Natalie and Anne to that bar they like so much? We could find another place and go then.”

You acquiesced, but continued to worry over how subdued he seemed as well as the man at the jewelry store for several days. It was confusing that Andri seemed the least affected despite all that had happened surrounding him. You were trying to give him a chance, but your suspicions convinced you to stay cautious around him from now on. He had remained quiet throughout your conversation with Kevin and almost immediately peeled back out onto the road after you had safely gotten out.

~~~~~ 

Andri could feel his horns coming out once more and his tail lashed violently in the air as his anger grew. Looking in the mirror revealed his eyes were already a steady scarlet red. He growled, feeling his nails lengthen and dig deep, jagged grooves into the porcelain of his sink. He had barely managed to make it home without giving away signs of his demonic nature. 

The day had been going perfectly aside from the nuisance that tagged along. He got to see so many cute outfits on the little morsel and even showed he cared by going out of his way to find them a new ring to replace the one he took. Of course, he’d give it back as soon as they saw he was the superior choice, but then the arrogance of that nuisance.

The way that Kevin had truly believed himself worthy enough to go out alone with (Y/n). They were his, not Kevin’s, why couldn’t they see that!? He froze at that thought, tail stopping and claws slowly retracting. That was the problem wasn’t it. They didn’t know who they truly belonged too and so hadn’t refused Kevin. Glancing up at his reflection, he watched as his eyes faded back to their usual golden hue. 

It was all so clear to him now. If they couldn’t see where they truly belonged without help, he would give that help to the cute, little morsel that caught and held his attention. A smirk spread across his features and he pulled his phone out. He had a few calls to make.

~~~~~ 

“Yeah! Let’s go!” 

Natalie was practically bouncing down the hall, ahead of the rest of the group. Stephan laughed as she reached the elevator and bounced on her toes impatiently. 

“Calm down, calm down. The bar’s not going anywhere.” 

“Yeah, I know, but the sooner we go, the sooner these two get to enjoy each other!” 

She gestured wildly at where you stood next to a nervous Kevin. You sighed, already seeing where Kevin’s mind was going as his grew redder. 

“Stop making it sound like we’re going to have sex or something. We’re just hanging out.” 

“Separate from us. Make sure you use protection~” 

Kevin turned an even darker shade of red. You just shook your head, content to ignore her as Stephan scolded her and Anne giggled in the background. The parking lot was relatively quiet, and you swiftly tugged Kevin in the direction of the small bar a few blocks away while the others piled into the truck and Natalie and Anne shouted out to you as they drove past. 

“Don’t do anything you might regret!” 

You scoffed, waving them off as you continued to tug Kevin along. The walk remained relatively silent, while Kevin slowly relaxed. The bar was relatively quiet, which you had discovered with Stephan to have good food and drinks. So, you figured an informal dinner date would work with the suddenly shy Kevin. 

You could feel the constant warmth emanating from him increase as he glanced at you. You snickered softly, watching as he ducked behind the menu the waitress had brought. As the night progressed, you chatted and laughed with him, watching him nearly choke on his food as his nerves tried to take over. You stayed at the bar for several hours, Kevin ordering more than a few drinks, but remaining mostly tipsy. As you left and started the slow walk back to the hotel, he managed to remain on a mostly straight path.

Kevin had definitely changed from the selfish brat he had been as a child. You felt that if he had gotten everything he wanted he would have turned out way differently, so maybe it was a good thing he tried to bully you into being his girlfriend that day, you even said as much to him. He groaned, pulling his hand from yours and burying his head in his hands. The tips of his ears a dark red, illuminated by the street lamps piercing through the gloom the alleyways seemed to ooze with. 

“I’d really rather forget that.” He paused, lifting his head and looking steadfastly at you as he stopped and turned to face you. “But I suppose I’m glad I did too. Otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to meet you.” 

He grabbed your hands, pulling you closer. Something shifted behind him. “(Y/n)! I’ve put this off long enough!” A soft clatter resounded and you attempted to keep eye contact with the earnest Kevin even as you sensed something approaching him and attempted to drag him along. 

“Look, Kevin can this wait for a few minutes?” 

“No! I have to tell you! I-“ 

Hands emerged from the darkness, grappling with Kevin. He struggled, eyes going wide before a thwack sounded and they dulled, slowly closing. You screamed as he was hefted over a shoulder, two huge men looming from the black, one with a bat clutched firmly in hand. However, as soon as they had arrived, they vanished, heading back into the gloom with Kevin’s comatose body. 

You were about to run after them, or call someone, or, or, or. You could feel yourself panicking, close to simply sinking to the floor when your phone rang. Fumbling for it, you saw Natalie was calling. 

“Natalie! What do I do! Someone just took Kevin!” 

You stopped as an unfamiliar voice rang in your ears. 

“Yeah, Natalie isn’t here. Neither is Stephan or Anne. If you want to them back girlie, I suggest you head to the address I’m sending you as fast as you can.” 

A click resounded in your ears as they hung up. You went limp, only moving when the sound of a text went off. Taking in what was sent, your eyes hardened and you scrambled to your feet. You weren’t about to let your friends be hurt if you had anything to say about it. You started running, familiar enough with the surrounding areas to know where to go from here.

~~~~~ 

Alright, so you got lost after awhile, but gps remained your savior as it swiftly guided you to the correct destination. Some kind of storehouse for a casino franchise, mostly abandoned and apparently used mainly for the distribution of unlicensed drugs and alcohol, often under the disguise of a rave. However, tonight it was silent and mostly dark, letting in just enough light as you stumbled in to see all your friends; Natalie, Anne, Stephan, even Kevin, hung up from the rafters like glorified trophies. Some kind of chain, glowing an ominous purple wrapped around the rafters and down and around their bodies. And below them was not the thugs who took Kevin or even whoever spoke to you on the phone. You couldn’t understand what you were seeing.

“What is this?! Why are they strung up like that? Why did you do this?!” 

A deep chuckle emanated from the broad chest of a man you thought you could trust. Only he wasn’t really a man anymore, not with the sharp horns, scarlet eyes, knife-like claws, and lashing tail. He only gestured to a seat across from him at which point you noticed the decks of cards innocently sitting on the table, with Daniel hovering over it, looking even more nervous and sweaty than he had been in the jewelry store. Your eyes narrowed, then widened in realization. 

“You were the one I should have stayed wary of the whole time. Not this Daniel guy. He works for you doesn’t he?” 

Andri tossed his head back, laughing as you grew ever more angry. Daniel shifted nervously, but drew out the decks and began shuffling with twitching fingers as Andri gestured at him. 

“Of course he does little morsel. I supply his addiction, he gets to keep his job, and I get another helper. I’ll be honest that whole not trusting him thing was simply so I could start calling you lovely, lovely. In fact, most of the people you’ve met work for me, either knowing or unknowingly. That casino, the boutique, even most of the bars. Not that I used any of them to track you down. No, this little ring helped with that.” 

He withdrew a ring from one of his jacket pockets, revealing the ring you had thought you’d lost. You lunged for it, slamming into the table and reaching up. But Andri held it tauntingly out of reach. 

“Ah, ah, ah. If you want this or your friends back, you’re going to play a little game with me.” 

You growled, hovering next to the chair, but not sitting in it. 

“What sort of game?” 

“Well, I do recall you saying you were good at cards, yes?” 

“Yes?” 

“Well, you said that you didn’t want to play with me. So, I figured I’d set this up, give you a reason to play. If Daniel here wins, we keep playing until one of us wins. I’ll even do a mandatory three wins to win it all if you so desire lovely~” 

Daniel dealt out the cards, setting up his own cards before holding onto the rest of the deck as he waited out your interaction. 

“...Why are you doing this? I was beginning to trust you, you could have just asked for a game?” 

“Yes, I could have. But this is more fun and gives me way more of a payoff if I win.” 

You cautiously sat down, but didn’t pick up your cards. 

“And what do you get if you win, exactly?” 

He laughed once more. 

“Now you’re asking the fun questions. But, aren’t you curious about what you’ll win, if you do?” 

“Of course I am, but you’re dodging the question. What will you get, and what will I get, in that order.” 

“Oooh, I think I like how demanding you are. Gives me shivers~” 

“Just get on with it!” 

“Oh, fine. If I win, I get you.” The bluntness of his statement caused you to recoil, suddenly more afraid then angry of the demon across from you, even as he continued speaking. “And, if you win you get your ring back. Not that I wouldn’t give it to you once I have you, it looks much better on you than it does on me. Oh, right, and I suppose I’ll set your friends free as well. So, how about it? Do those terms work for you?” 

He held out his hand, waiting for your acceptance of his terms. You hesitated, glancing at Daniel, who immediately looked away, up to your still unconscious friends, and back to the waiting hand. Seeing little else you could do, you took the hand, mindful of the claws that rested at the top of each slender finger, and shook it firmly. 

He smiled, and picked up his cards. Your eyes narrowed, but you picked up yours as well. An ace and a 2 stared back at you. 

“Hit me.” 

Daniel slid a card over. A face card. Change the ace to a 1 to stay below 21. 

“Hit me.” 

Daniel slid a card over to Andri. His smile widened. 

“Stay.” 

You grumbled as he stopped. 

“Hit me.” 

One more card was slid your way. An 8. 

“Stay.” 

You flipped over your cards. 21 for you, 20 for Andri. Daniel flipped over his other card and drew one more. He ended up with 23. You won. You smiled, ready to get up and demand your friends back. However, Andri waved you back down. 

“We’re doing three wins for it all. One win for one friend.” 

“What? You didn’t say that before.” 

“Oh? But I did say three wins to win them all.” 

You growled, unable to dispute that. The cards were shuffled back and the next hand began. Andri won the next, but Daniel won after that. It didn’t count for either side, so another hand was dealt. Andri won once more. You managed to snag another win with a blackjack right out of the gate. One more win for either side would tip the balance. The cards were dealt. 

A 10 and a face card. You had 20. You chose to stay. 

“Hit me.” 

Andri received another card. 

“Hit me.” 

One more was passed to him. 

“Hit me.” 

He paused. 

“Stay.” 

You flipped the cards over. Andri had 21. With a growing feeling of dread you glanced over. Daniel had a face card. He flipped the other over. One more face card. Andri had won. Your shoulders slumped and tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. You hardly even noticed Daniel packing up the cards and scurrying out. 

You buried your face in your hands, listening only to the sound of the scrape of a chair and the steady footsteps that circled the table and stopped behind your slouched back. Warm arms circled your shoulders, pulling you up and close to his chest. A claw tipped hand carefully slid your ring back on your finger, but you hardly cared to notice, too intent on what would happen to you and your friends. You ignored his hand lifting to your cheek, attempting to turn your face back in his direction in favor of looking up at your still comatose friends. 

A low, warning growl rumbled through his chest, spreading into your back before you were turned around and pushed up against the table. 

“Stop ignoring me! You lost, they should no longer matter to you! Now just stay still.” 

“N-No!”

You pushed against his chest as he crushed you down against the table, slotting a knee between your legs to stop your kicking, and leaned down near your ear, tail wrapping around one of your ankles.

“Lovely, you really have to stop saying that word around me.” 

Tears welled up in your eyes as he slid you further up onto the cold metal beneath you with one hand, the other carding through your hair, to forcefully meld your lips together. As he slid his tongue between your lips, delving deep, you heard a crunch and something heavy and wet seemed to hit the floor behind you. Adrenaline filled your veins, enabling you to push Andri up and turn over enough to see what had happened.

Your blood ran cold. While Natalie, Stephan, and Anne were still chained up, though the chains were even tighter than when you had first came, Kevin was on the ground, limbs at odd angles and frighteningly still. You sobbed as you watched the chains around Natalie tighten further, unable to move as Andri pushed you down, claws pressing lightly into your skin in warning and tail wrapped tightly around your ankle. Natalie groaned in pain, eyes fluttering, but still unconscious throughout the entire process. 

“Stop it!”

You hardly realized you had said anything until your own voice echoed back to you and Andri’s chuckle filled your ear. 

“But why should I? You’d just try to go back to them and they’d try to take you away. Not unless I wiped their memory, gave them new ones where you and that boy walked down the wrong alley. But why would I do that when I can kill them here and keep you for myself?” 

You huffed, hardly able to stay above the table as he pressed you down further onto the cold table as the chains began tightening once again. You shook your head, hardly able to accept where this vacation had turned to, but seeing little else you could do to fix it. Hanging your head, you quietly uttered your own damning words. 

“Fine. Let them go and I’ll stay with you. That’s what you want, right?” 

Everything went silent, the pained groans from Natalie cut off, as did the sound of clinking chains and quiet laughter from behind you. You flinched as you felt Andri nuzzle into your neck, relaxing on top of you, but no less imposing as he cooed lovingly into your hair. 

“Oh, lovely. It’s fantastic that you’ve realized saying no will take you nowhere. I’ll take good care of you~ And don’t worry about your friends, I’ll make sure they head home with the bad news completely unharmed. And I’m sure Alexia has already gotten everything I bought for you from that hotel.”

He picked you up carefully, like you would break if he was too rough. Natalie, Stephan, and Anne were mostly ignored, only acknowledged as he lowered them, and placed a glowing hand on their heads before tossing them carelessly through a black portal that opened just behind them. He held you easily in one hand while he did so, before he began to head out of the storehouse, shifting your limp body so you were held firmly in a bridal carry. 

You could only watch as the dead body of one of your closest friends was left still and silent on the floor of the large, empty storehouse. Any tears you shed were swiftly kissed away as the demon holding you continued to coo over you, tail wagging violently. 

“You’ll love my place. Well, I suppose it’s our place now. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it~ I’m there after all.”

I’ll be honest. Part of this was just wanting to make the spoiled brat that is Andri realize he’s suddenly in love with someone who doesn’t necessarily love or want him back. And all the ways he fails to cope with or maybe even recognize the full depths of his feelings. 

Mx is a gender neutral way of saying something along the lines of miss or mr. Figured I would start attempting to write a gender neutral reader, so that way I’m not excluding anyone. It’s a little harder than I thought it would be. 

Super basic blackjack rules(hit or stand): Getting 21 with the first two cards is called blackjack, if you go over 21 you bust and lose which means the dealer wins no matter what they have, hit means you get another card, stand means you stick with what you have, whoever is closest to 21 wins, face cards are worth 10, ace is either 1 or 11.

[cowboyjen68]

Hi Cowboy Jen,

Let me preface this by saying I found your blog at a perfect time. Reading your posts gave me great comfort. I’m still closeted to my family and a relatively new young financially independent gal. I took a job out of college to the Midwest, but that didn’t stop feelings from me and my best friend (of 10 years) from reoccurring. We have a history of catching feelings for each other every now and then but it’s always the wrong time (e.g., she confesses when I’m partnered or vice versa). It hadn’t happened in about 3 years but we were very close, doing all the things couples would do, even with the distance. She made my time away from home still feel like home.

She, a brilliant beautiful butch, asked if we could date and wanted to be my partner. I, fearful of not giving her the full partner experience being 900 miles away, insisted that we shouldn’t. I wanted her to have a proper relationship, given we both didn’t have great track records. I said she probably wouldn’t have feelings for me if she actually got to date someone in her town instead of talking to me all the time. She gave me the weekend to think about it. While I initially said no, I was gearing up for a visit back home about a month from then. So, I planned to tell her the following day I would like to cash in on that date. However, the next day she told me took an interest in her roommate and they began dating.

We took a break and didn’t talk like we used to. Over the last 2-3 months, we got better and started acting friendly like how we used to. I met her new partner a few times and I’ve been a good sport. I tell her and her partner how much I think they’re a great couple, that I like how happy they make each other. And it’s true, I’m happy for her. I always wanted her to be in a real loving relationship with someone who genuinely cares for her. But, I’m afraid I’m still the one left having feelings for her.

Rightfully, she puts her partner over me. I live closer to our hometown since I now took a job back on the east coast. Before I moved out yet again, on my last night, she cut me up flowers from her yard and gave me really thoughtful trinkets. A collection of things she thought I’d like. When we went back to her place, we talked on the porch with her roommates. When it got cold, she let me borrow her hoodie (i kept thinking just how good it was to smell her). She even let me keep the hoodie for my move. Everything felt like how it used to be before it all got complicated. And it absolutely pained me after the fact, since she’s not mine to keep.

I don’t flirt with her. I’m not planning a seduction. I’m not a home wrecker. I’ve been acting like a supportive friend. We were supposed to have our first call since I moved, but it got cut short because of an issue with her partner. But, I just miss her. I still think about the day where we could be with each other sometime when we’re older. Even before this all happened, I used to think about how we would share a house together in our 40s and 50s.

I guess I’m seeking advice on what to do. I know I shouldn’t have these feelings. I don’t plan on causing trouble. I’m just in so much pain, it feels like a punishment for some past life misdeeds. I think because I never got to tell her how I felt, these feelings just sink further into me. I don’t plan on telling her my feelings. I suppose I’m seeking advice on how to get over her and just go back to seeing her as my friend.

Sorry this was all over the place! I just haven’t had many people to tell this too.

I am very sorry you are feeling so much pain and I understand why you would hurt so badly. You feel like you have missed an opportunity and you can't really give yourself closure because you keep thinking "what if". What if you had said something , what if she is not happy in her current relationship. What if you waited.

The problem with "what if" is those ideas have no expiration date or guaranteed outcome. You can hang on for any amount of time waiting for her to be single or at least unhappy enough to show signs she wishes to break up. This might never happen.

I completely understand feeling so much love and connection that you can't even imagine letting of your attachment to her. And to make it even harder, she is your best friend so distancing from her means, in essence, loosing your friend and love at the same time.

I am going to give you some advice that might be really hard to hear. It might be best to give yourself time and distance from her. Let your heart get a break so it can heal. There really is no time line but you will probably know. You don’t have to cut her out completely, especially if you don’t want to give her any reason for the space. Just be busy try to keep some distance. If she reaches out you can decide whether or not to see her or decide to be pre scheduled and not able to commit to time.  It will be very hard but it does get a bit better slowly. 

Eventually you will have a better time of navigating the reality of your new relationship with her if you can let yourself have some distance. You heart needs  the time to readjust. Your mind needs the space grieve and think and work through all the emotions. You will be sad and mad and have regrets.and that is enough to deal with without the constance wondering if you will some day be with her or if she is truly happy. The two of you being oether is possible but not probable so you must move on and live your life as if that idea is off the table. 

I hope that some time in the future either her happiness with her new partner will continue to make you happy or perhaps your love for her withh help you to prioritize her friendship over holding on to romantic feelings. It is very true that the heart wants what the heart wants but to save the friendship, which seems important to both of you you have to take some time to heal. 

Other than all those words I don’t have any easy advice to ease your pain or make your love go away. Likely you will always love her but you need to figure out a way ot put that love in a different place in your heart in order to preserve the friendship. Expanding your friendships and lesbian circles will help. You are newly out and just getting started. The more women you meet the more you will find you are capable of deep friendship and even love again  with someone else. Probably not right away so don’t rush it but don’t write off the idea completely. 

Big healing hugs to you.