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cutielando · 11 months

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lucky number 100 | l.n.

synopsis: in which he makes his 100th race extra special

my masterlist

100 races.

If someone had told you that you would be with Lando and see his 100th race with McLaren, you would've probably laughed in their face.

You and Lando have been together for years, you being by his side ever since he started his racing career. You had never missed a race, not a weekend went by when you weren't seen on the paddock proudly wearing your boyfriend's number on your back.

With the COTA Grand Prix coming up, it also being Lando's 100th race in Formula 1, it was safe to say he was more nervous than he usually was.

That is precisely the reason why it was 1 in the morning before race day and Lando couldn't get himself to go to sleep. Thoughts plaguing his mind, all sorts of scenarios regarding the race going through his head.

You had fallen asleep earlier that evening, having been exhausted by the qualifying and everything. However, you woke up a little past 1, stretching your arm over Lando's side of the bed in search for his warmth but you were met with the cold sheets, making you frown.

"Honey?" you called out, rubbing your eyes and waiting for a response.

When you couldn't hear anything, you pulled the covers off your body and took Lando's hoodie that had been discarded on the floor and pulled it over your head.

You opened the door to your bedroom and walked out, quietly searching for your boyfriend in the middle of the night.

You found him sitting on the couch in your living room, watching TV with the volume down with a lost look in his eye.

"Baby, what are you doing up? You need to get some sleep before tomorrow" you said, making your way over to him and sitting down next to him, snuggling up in his arms.

"Sorry, I couldn't sleep. Kept fidgeting so I decided to come out here so I wouldn't wake you up" he wrapped his arms around your shoulders and kissed your temple, savoring the feeling of your body snuggled up to his.

"What's got you worked up?" you whispered, trailing one of your hands up and down his chest, knowing it was one of the things that helped calm him down in any situation.

"The race, I guess" he shrugged, not being able to really pinpoint the trouble himself.

"What about the race?" you pushed, knowing he had to get whatever it was off his chest.

"I don't know, I just feel like everybody expects me to win because it's my 100th race and everyone will be disappointed if that doesn't happen and I'll let everyone down"

You nodded your head, understanding now where he was coming from.

A lot of his fans and people in the F1 business are constantly talking about him winning this race, how amazing it would be if he did it and how it has been long overdue, which obviously puts a tremendous amount of stress on him.

If he does deliver, he's going to be on top of the world. But if he doesn't, people are going to judge, they're going to talk shit and judge him.

"You don't have to listen to anyone. Screw what other people are saying, you don't need to put this pressure on yourself. Just drive how you know you can and let the result be whatever it may be. I'm still going to be proud of you, regardless if you end up being P1 or P20, baby" you raised your head and took his chin in your hands, making him look at you.

"You're not going to be disappointed if I don't win?" his voice was so soft and vulnerable, it made your heart break at the thought of possibly being anything but proud of him.

"Baby, no. I'll be proud of you if you finish first and I'll be proud of you if you finish last. That doesn't matter to me. All that I care about is that you are safe and come back to me in one piece. I love you, and I'm always going to support you in everything, but you need to stop letting these things get to you. You know what you're capable of, put that talent to use and have fun"

He sighed but a small smile made its way on his lips before he slowly nodded his head.

"You always know what to say, one of the many reasons why I love you" he leaned in and pecked your lips, bringing you into an even tighter hug afterwards.

"I should consider switching my job as a full-time wag to being a motivational speaker" you joked, enjoying the sound of his laugh filling the room.

♡♡♡♡♡

"10 minutes to go" Lando's engineer said as he poked his head in his driver's room where the two of you were hanging out.

Lando nodded and his engineer left, leaving the two of you alone again.

"This is it" he spoke up, looking at his hands which were fidgeting on his lap.

You took his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers with his in order to calm him down.

"Remember, don't push yourself too hard and risk crashing or getting hurt. It's not worth it. You'll get your win, baby, but don't push it today if it's not meant to be. Be safe, please"

Lando nodded and gave you a reassuring smile, kissing you deeply after you stopped talking.

You squeezed his hand as you pulled away and stood up, motioning that you should get going.

You walked with him until you got to his car, giving him one final kiss before he got into the car and put his helmet on.

Lando's engineer motioned for you to join him, giving you a pair of headphones so you could be up to date with everything happening.

You all watched the formation lap before every driver got into their respective positions. You held your breath as you saw the lights before it was time to finally begin the race.

Lights out.

♡♡♡♡♡

He did it.

He had won first ever race in F1.

You couldn't explain the pride and love that filled your heart when he was the first one to see the checkered flag.

He had absolutely dominated the whole race, managing to overtake every single car on the track and maintaining his position when it seemed that he might be under attack.

You don't think you had ever seen him drive better than he did today.

"Y/N! I did it!!!" he shouted as he ran to you, helmet and balaclava already off.

"I'm so proud of you, baby!!" you squealed and jumped into his arms, squeezing him like never before.

"Oh my God, I did it, my love. This is all for you" he exclaimed, holding you tightly and squeezing your waist.

"No, Lando. This is for you. You've been waiting your whole life for this, you've worked so hard all these years and today everything finally paid off. I'm proud of you to the moon and back, baby" you pulled away from the hug just enough so you could lean in and kiss him, pouring every single feeling of pride and adoration for him into the kiss.

"I love you so much" he muttered against your lips, refusing to let go of you when his PR manager called him for some interviews.

"I love you too, my winner"

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vanishingcherry · 1 year

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A WHOLE NEW WORLD

pairings: f1 grid x leclerc!driver reader, charles leclerc x sister!reader

warnings: sexism, hugging, talk about the possibility of a car crash, 2021 f1 grid

authors note: i was thinking of making this a series, so let me know if thats something you would be interested in! (like leclerc driver in different situations throughout the seasons after her debut in 2021)

masterlist

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

Sitting on a flight to Bahrain, it would be an understatement to say that Y/N was nervous. She sat next to her brother, Charles, with Arthur sitting across from her, fast asleep against the headrest of the plane seat.

Charles was going into his 4th season in Formula 1, his third with Ferrari. Y/N, however, was going into her first, following her older brother's footsteps as she started out her rookie season with Sauber, or Alfa Romeo as it was now called.

Looking out the window, she watched in amazement as the city lights sparkled in the night. She had been to Bahrain before, during her time in F3 and F2 with Prema, but landing as a Formula 1 driver was a different feeling altogether.

Y/N was confident in the car. 3 days of preseason testing allowed her to get accustomed to all the differences from the F2 cars. While it definitely wasn't at the level of Mercedes, Ferrari or Red Bull, she was sure that she would be able to get at least a few points over the course of the season.

She was also extremely lucky to be paired with Kimi for her rookie season. The seasoned driver was known to be extremely less talkative, but she was sure she would pick up a few tips by just being in his presence. They had even had a short conversation during the pre-season testing during which Kimi told her that he was glad to have her as a teammate. Y/N never really realised just how much that statement meant to her until now, easing some of the nerves.

After landing, she and Charles walk through customs and head outside together, Arthur and Lorenzo following not too far behind. Immediately met by thousands of fans, she watches an unfazed Charles make his way towards them, smiling and signing posters and caps. She watches in awe for a second before a voice calling her name catches Y/N's attention.

"Y/N! Can you sign my cap please!"

She looks over to see a young girl amongst the crown and makes her way to the barrier. Kneeling over, she grabs the pen and signs the cap with a big smile.

"Are you going to watch the race?" Y/N smile turns even bigger when the girl nods.

"We've got seats at turn 3. I hope you get points! I love you!"

She laughs at the response, giving the girl a quick hug before making her way down the fans lined up.

There were dozens of people there, waving flags and notebooks for her to sign. Others just wanted a quick hug or a picture, which Y/N quickly obliged to. While she couldn't interact with everybody there, she made sure to as many people as possible.

Almost all of them were shouting words of encouragement and support, compliments hitting her from all sides. Surprised by how many people wanted her to sign things and take pictures, it was almost half an hour later when she finally sat down in the car, slumping against the seat as it made its way to the hotel. Her hand hurting from the number of autographs she had given out.

"There were so many people who wanted me to sign stuff" She said to Charles. "I didn't think there would be that many. All the girls were so excited."

"You're the first female driver Y/N, of course they were excited. I'm so proud of you, everyone is." Charles smiles as he replies, knowing just how hard it was to make it to F1, even more so as a girl. "Papa and Jules would be so, so happy."

"Thats P12 Y/N! Great job!"

The engineer's voice comes through the radio, conveying to Y/N her qualifying results.

"Oh my god! 12th is crazy, thank you! Where did Charles place? And Kimi?" Happy that Charles qualified 4th she celebrated, although she was slightly confused as to how she qualified ahead of Kimi who was 14th.

"There was an issue with his car." Her engineer explains, before telling her to switch off the engine and prepare for strategy discussion.

Y/N was just a few tenths off from making Q3 in her debut. Nonetheless, P12 was an amazing standing for the start of the race, and she was overjoyed at the prospect of getting points at her first ever F1 race.

As she makes her way to the driver rooms, Charles catches up to her, giving her a quick hug. "Xavi told me you qualified 12th! Congratulations! Get points tomorrow okay?"

She nods in response, congratulating him for qualifying P4 before once again making her way to the driver's room. She received many pats on the back on her way there, some from drivers and others from reporters and general people around the paddock.

Walking into the motorhome, Kimi is quick to congratulate her. Y/N expresses her sympathy for his qualifying position, but Kimi is quick to brush it aside. Having been in the sport this long, he knew that a bad qualifying doesn't mean a bad race.

After the discussions with the team for the next day's strategy had been closed, Y/N heads out, wanting to get a good nights rest before her first race.

The only goal for the next day was to race well and hopefully get a few points. Y/N knew that Alfa Romeo was feeling the pressure just as much as she was, being the team that signed the first female driver. All she wanted was to learn as much as possible while proving herself to the world.

"Just learn", is what the team principle had said not an hour ago. "Learn as much as you can, enjoy, and try not to crash the car."

Just as the rookie opens the taxi door, a voice calling out her name makes her turn around. At the sight of Sebastian, she pulls out her earphones.

The driver had just made the switch to Aston Martin, being Charles's teammate the year before. "I heard you qualified 12th! Thats amazing!"

Shyly she laughs. "Yeah, thank you so much!"

"Is anyone giving you a hard time?" he asks, fully prepared to defend Y/N. Sebastian had been an advocate for women in this sport for a long time, and was truly delighted that the step had finally be taken. Truth be told, he was honoured that he would be getting the opportunity to race against Y/N, even though she would insist it was the other way round.

"Not really," she replies. "Just a few fans on social media and stuff, saying it's a 'mans' sport."

"Ah, I think Hanna showed me a few of those posts." Sebastian mutters, thinking back to a weekend ago when his wife showed him the latest news, courtesy to the driver not having any social media accounts of his own. "Ignore them, we all know that you're amazing and believe me, you absolutely deserve to be here."

The 4 time world champion was speaking from experience. He had kept an eye on her the previous year. Although they hadn't talked much, other than when she was in the garage to visit Charles, Sebastian was ecstatic when he heard that the young girl had won the F2 Championship.

"I bet you'll get points tomorrow, you're just that good."

"Ah thanks Seb!" Y/N is close to blushing at that comment, overwhelmed with the number of compliments she had been receiving over the course of the day.

After another few moments of chatting, Sebastian walks away to his own car, leaving Y/N to get in hers and get back to the hotel. Popping her earphones back in, she relaxes against the seat, ready for what the race would bring.

"It's lights out and away we go for the first time in the 2021 season!"

The voice of David Croft is heard all around the world, thousands having tuned in to watch the start of the new season. Y/N gets a good start, overtaking Perez and moving up to P11 by turn 1.

Ahead of her now was Stroll in the Aston Martin. Staying close to him for the next few laps, she manages to overtake him on the straight when DRS opens.

"You're in the points! Push!" Her engineers voice comes through. Behind him the team was watching the screen in suspense, hoping that she would be able to keep the position. They jumped out of their seats nearly every time she got close to another car, worried out of their mind for the driver but excited nonetheless.

Choosing to stay out on track for an extra few laps earns her another two positions as most drivers go in for their pitstop, putting her at P8. Y/N manages to defend her position for majority of the race, keeping the Aston Martins and Red Bull behind her.

Towards the second half of the race, Y/N went in for her pitstop, unfortunately losing a spot in the process. Still, just 13 laps later, Y/N crossed the finish line in P9, having gotten 2 points for the driver standings and the team.

"Thats P9! P9 Y/N! Amazing, amazing job!"

Body in shock, she thanks the team and engineers profusely, jumping out of the car the second she parked it.

"Y/N Leclerc crosses the line in P9, an absolutely stellar performance. The first points scored from a woman in decades, and that too in her first race. I'm sure we can expect nothing short of brilliance from her in the future." Martin Brundle's voice can be heard by all watching.

Still in awe at the moment, all Y/N can think about is the fact that she got points. You did it, you did it, you did it. She runs into the barriers, giving a hug to everyone from Alfa Romeo standing there.

Behind her, Charles comes in for a hug, having heard from his engineer that Y/N placed 9th. "Je t'aime, je suis si fier" i love you, i am so proud

The next few minutes were a blur. Waving to the fans, Y/N can hear them cheer in the background as more and more people come up to her. Lewis pats her helmet on his way to the podium, Max and Valtteri doing the same. Sebastian walks by and offers a hug, widely grinning as he winks and says a quick "Told you so."

It was an out of the world experience. While not everyone may see the importance, everyone on the grid knew exactly how she was feeling. Having worked your entire life to reach F1, the feeling after getting your first points is one that no one would ever forget. One that Y/N would never forget.

"So Y/N, how does it feel having won points in your debut race?" The reporter asks when she enter the media pen. Replays of her crossing the checkered flag in P9 can be seen playing on the television in the background.

"There was a lot of pressure on me to perform well, being the first signed female driver and of course Charles being in Ferrari. People expected a lot. So, I am extremely happy that I was able to deliver."

Her response is short and sweet, as directed by the PR manager, but true nonetheless. There was a lot of controversy when Sauber announced that she would be joining F1 that year, with people on both sides of the spectrum making statements. It meant heaps to her, knowing that she had already started proving the haters wrong.

Toto and Susie Wolff were in support, both mentioning how important it was for more females to enter the sport. The Mercedes Principle having mentioned how "proud" he was, and how her presence would likely "encourage more girls from around the world to enter motorsport."

Susie being having participated in motorsport herself had reached out to Y/N when the news broke, sending her congrats and sharing her enthusiasm. Y/N and her still stay in contact, having just replied to another congratulatory message from Susie before coming out to give interviews.

On the other hand, there were also people who were doubtful of her. "She's entering a sport that has been predominantly male for over 7 decades. The way I see it, I'm not sure she'll be able to handle the needs of this sport. It's a tough sport, and there must be a reason females have never lasted long before." The statement that Red Bull released via their team principle was nothing short of enraging for Y/N, but she knew that she would have to stay calm and prove them wrong on track.

Nonetheless, Y/N knew that she had the support of all the drivers on the grid, all of them having talked to her and shown support during the pre-season testing. It meant a lot to her knowing that world champions like Lewis, Alonso and Sebastian were all rooting for her.

"And how did Charles react to you coming P9?"

"He was very happy," she exclaimed. "A bit jealous I think, because he didn't get points in his debut." Y/N adds, softly chuckling before moving on to the next reporter.

The rest of the media session went well, all the reporters being respectful and truly happy for Y/N. Finally, once the day was over, she went back to the hotel, ready for a night of relaxation.

Not too long after settling down on the couch, she heard a knock and the door handle turning. Charles walks in.

Falling back onto the couch next to her, he says. "The reporter told me what you said to her."

Frowning in response, Y/N pauses the movie. He elaborates. "About me being jealous? Because I didn't get points in my debut?" He gently elbows her in the rib and she laughs in response.

"But its true, no?

๑ ⋆˚₊⋆────ʚ˚ɞ────⋆˚₊⋆ ๑

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ssparksflyy · 29 days

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BUT I DONT WANNA DANCE, IF IM NOT DANCING WITH YOU ♡ !

pairing percy jackson x ballerina!reader summary (smau) just a few days in the life as a pro ballerina nd her loving bf ( ꈍ◡ꈍ) an guys i dont know anything abt ballet please dont come for me 😭 also!! first smau and first time writing in foreverrrrr

♡ liked by perseajackson, annie.beth, prettygirlpipes, hazelluvsu, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others

soyn last few days in the studio have been soso hectic but im forever great full i get to spend them with some of the most beautiful amazing dancers in the whole wide worlddd ‹𝟹 ( dont forget to buy ur tickets for our upcoming recital !! )

annie.beth u guys literally look so good !! popped in the other day to help with lighting issues and oh em gee im so excited nd proud!!

⤷ soyn and u didnt say hello !! literally what !!

⤷ annie.beth my boss didnt let me ᴖ̈

⤷ soyn they hate to see us together fr

tallesttiptoes blood sweat nd tears going into this guys buy ur tickets ꃋᴖꃋ

⤷ soyn no literally like the amount of band-aids i have on rn ....

⤷ perseajackson can confirm shes gone through two boxes of hello kitty band-aids in the last month

lightning.mcqueen where can i buy tickets plsss (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

⤷ soyn TY JASON !! (balletwebsite.com) !!

♡ liked by soyn, letsbefrank, sillysallyjackson, underwoodz, annie.beth, fireboy, lightning.mcqueen and others

perseajackson day like forty seven of trying new recipes except when i tried making what i had originally planned i spilled like half of our salt ... we resorted to pasta but its a win cause my gf loves pasta

fireboy how the hell did u spill half of ur salt

⤷ perseajackson ive literally watched you intentionally put seven cups of salt into a cake before

⤷ fireboy ... and what im a salty man

⤷ prettygirlpipes we know

lightning.mcqueen waiting for the day u make me dinner ᴖ̈

⤷ perseajackson ill make u a full course meal bro dw

⤷ lightning.mcqueen bro ily

⤷ perseajackson omg no ily more

view more replies

soyn best chef in ny fr !! after ur mom ofc

⤷ perseajackson real i can never compete with her she'd eat me up

⤷ soyn its cause she's sally jackson babe dw

now playing ... birds of a feather by billie eilish

♡ liked by annie.beth, soyn, perseajackson, lightning.mcqueen, hazelluvsu, fireboy, letsbefrank and others

prettygirlpiper group met up at the fair this weekend nd omg ... i have not laughed n had so much fun since i cant even remember like core memory fr + everybody's fav couple making the whole fair feel single

annie.beth WE LITERALLY NEED TO DO THIS MORE IT WAS SM FUN

⤷ fireboy YALL DONT UNDERSTAND I HAVE NO LIFE IM FREE WHENEVERRR ( ˶•ᴖ•) !!

hazelluvsu i had so much fun except for when i almost died of laughter after watching jason lose at thirteen games in a row

⤷ lightning.mcqueen TRAITOR

⤷ perseajackson damnnnn u did my man dirty hazel

⤷ letsbefrank nah cause it was genuinely sad after a while

⤷ lightning.mcqueen percy ur the only one who understands me

soyn ily guys sm omgggg (pipes dont be shy send me that pic ˘ ³˘)

⤷ prettygirlpiper i gotchu pooks dw ♡

♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, letsbefrank, luvrgirlsteph, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy and others

soyn im working late, cause im a singer dancer ( recital is in two days we r stressing but so ready !! )

tallesttiptoes OH YEAH im so ready (im not ready at all) literally so pumped (crying in my closet rn) i CANNOT wait (im going to kms)

⤷ luvrgirlsteph WE GOT THIS GIRL DONT KYS ‹𝟹

perseajackson ilysm babe u got this !!

⤷ soyn tysm percy ily (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)

⤷ prettygirlpiper omg i hate u guys #bringbacktoxiccouples

⤷ perseajackson stay jealous

hazelluvsu u got this yn !! ur an amazing leader i just know all the girls in ur studio r so lucky to be working with u !!

⤷ tallesttiptoes YESS WE AREEEE

⤷ luvrgirlsteph yn my fav dancer fr !!

⤷ soyn ilysm pretty girls ‹𝟹

now playing ... new years day by taylor swift

♡ liked by perseajackson, tallesttiptoes, annie.beth, prettygirlpiper, fireboy, clarisseswrld, lightning.mcqueen and others

soyn theres glitter on the floor after the party, girls carrying their shoes down in the lobby, and i am holding onto these memories as they hold onto me- we did it !!

perseajackson words cannot explain how proud i am of u babe, i literally started crying and the guy next to me hugged me and we cried TOGETHER

⤷ soyn NO WAY NO U DID NOT

⤷ lightning.mcqueen yes he did leo and i can confirm ill send u the pics rn

⤷ soyn THIS IS GOLDEN WHAT

fireboy THAT WAS SO COOL U LOOKED LIKE A PRINCESS I WANNA DO BALLET

⤷ soyn BETTTT LEO U GOT THAT

⤷ prettygirlpiper ohmygod i cannot wait to see how this ends

annie.beth U GUYS DID SO WELL IT WAS AMAZING !!

⤷ hazelluvsu my jaw was literally on the floor to whole time ꃋᴖꃋ

⤷ letsbefrank drop the leg day routine cause HOW

⤷ soyn STOPPP ILY GUYS SM (˃̣̣̥ᴖ˂̣̣̥)

#howd i do guys #i hope u liked it :D #also yes i used kaomojis so i didnt have to use actual emojis #theyre cuter ok #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x reader #percy jackson x you #pjo x reader #pjo smau #seaweed brain ⋅˚₊‧𓇼 #by bells ♡⋆ ࣪.

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silversainz · 1 year

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Princess and her prince ୨ৎ CL16

Pairing (s) Charles leclerc x actress!reader

IN WHICH you and Charles attend the met gala

Yourusername story Charles_leclerc story

Charles_leclerc

Liked by, landonorris, Danielricciardo, LewisHamilton and 2,000,000 others

Tagged yourusername, metgalaofficial

Charles_leclerc princess and her prince ❤️

View 17,000 comments

User45 holy shit y’all looked incredible

User78 MOTHER AND FATHER?!?!

User89 truly the definition of princess and prince

User29 YALL LOOKED AMAZING HOLY SHIT

User10 I’m still in shocked that i just witnessed y’all

User78 i need an inhaler right now

Yourusername my handsome prince 🥰

Liked by Charles_leclerc

Yourusername

Liked by, Pierregasly, LewisHamilton, Charles,leclerc and 3,000,000 others

Tagged charles_leclerc, metgalaofficial

Yourusername every girl needs a Prince Charming by her side ❤️

View 18,000 comments

User69 THE WAY HES LOOKING AT YOU??!!

Liked by yourusername, charles_leclerc

User10 MY PARENTS EVERYONE

User67 I’m actually crying right now, you looked incredible

User400 ya’ll truly made history today, and I couldn’t be prouder 😭

User78 from being on the big screen to being at the biggest event, feel like a proud mother

User70 bro you both looked amazing

Charles_leclerc my beautiful princess ❤️

Liked by yourusername

Yourmomsname my gorgeous baby girl

Yourusername love you mommy ❤️

Voguemagazine

Liked by, charles_leclerc, yourusername, Pierregasly and 3,000,000 others

Tagged yourusername, charles_leclerc, metgalaofficial.

Voguemagazine actress y/n y/l/n and f1 driver charles_leclerc, had everybody stunned and turning heads as they arrived at the 2023 met gala this afternoon !

View 19,000 comments

User14 this is huge like REAL huge for her

User45 i mean who wouldn’t be stunned by them! They looked incredible

User19 mother and father are mothering and fathering

User13 they looked unreal

User67 now invite them next year and the year after that and the year after that-

User17 no because despite being still an rookie and sorta inexperienced actress, she’s already making major headlines and doing big moves and honestly i love that for her

User19 I’m still stunned by seeing them at the met gala

Metgalaofficial

Liked by yourusername, LewisHamilton, charles_leclerc and 4,00,000 others

Tagged, yourusername, charles_leclerc

Metgalaofficial actress y/n y/l/n and Charles leclerc at the met

View 20,000 comments

User29 its the way she’s always said she’s wanted to go to the met and now she’s there, making headlines and had people turning their heads, its insane

User47 idk what anyone says they absolutely outdid everyone there

User12 they looked insane

User67 it’s cute how Charles always stood by her and moved away so she could have the spotlight. She deserves it honestly

User56 this is all I’m gonna be talking about for the rest of the year

User27 people looked pissed they stole the spotlight but idfc they deserved it

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #charles leclerc fluff #charles leclerc fanfic #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc oneshots #charles leclerc instagram au #charles leclerc instagram edit #f1 x reader #f1 x you #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 oneshot #f1 fanfic #f1 instagram au

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simp4wom3n · 2 years

Text

Celebrity Crush

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Reader

Requested: Yes/No ~ request @meimei-a

Summary: Y/N has been simping over Jenna for years. What happens when Y/N finally gets noticed by her celebrity crush. (Y/F/M = your favourite movie) ~ Word Count: 2,190 ~ Warnings: swearing

A/N: Hello everyone!! Idk why these keep getting longer and longer but hopefully you guys still like them. Obviously because they are longer they take longer to write but my schedule has loosened so I have more time to write so hopefully the next one will be finished soon <3

Part 1 ~ Part 2

“And here to promote her new movie, the newest star of Hollywood, the amazing, and beautiful, Y/N L/N everybody!!” Jimmy announces with his iconic smile plastered on his face, his hand gesturing towards you as you walk out. Dressed in an extravagant pantsuit and heels, you wave to the audience as you make your way towards your chair. You greet Jimmy as you sit down, taking a moment to take in your first late night show, sat across from Jimmy Fallon, in-front of a large audience, cameras covering you on all angles. Sure you had done press before but this was something else.

Whilst you are undeniably nervous, the excitement of another ‘I made it’ moment overshadows any of your anxiety as you finally face Jimmy as the cheers of the audience diminish. “Welcome Y/N it’s amazing to finally have you on the show. How are you feeling?” he starts with a warm smile, instantly calming your remaining nerves. “Thank you so much for having me. This is definitely a dream of mine so a little nervous.” you explain, earning a nod from Jimmy. “I’m used to being in the audience so it’s still sinking in” you add, gesturing and glancing towards the audience, still unable to grasp the fact that your here.

“Well you have definitely earned it, I mean your incredible.” he commented, earning a chorus of cheers from the audience. A tight lipped smile of appreciation crosses your face as you reply, “Thanks Jimmy thats mean a lot”. “Now… your new movie Y/F/M, am I right in saying its your first lead role in a blockbuster film?” “Yes it is” you reply with a nod. “Now I know they are really strict on what you can say but is there ANYTHING you can tell us.” he asks with genuine curiosity in his eyes.

Despite wanting to go on and on about the movie and reveal every little detail you can, your director says otherwise meaning you can’t say a thing. “I hate to break your heart Jimmy but my lips are glued shut. All I can say is I’m really proud of it” you answer solemnly, giving both Jimmy and the audience a small smile of apology. “It’s annoyingly ironic. Like I have to sell a movie without actually talking about it.” The solemn look on Jimmy’s face is quickly replaced with one of pure elation as he leans back in his chair, letting out his signature laugh, instantly bringing a smile to your face.

He took a minute to settle down before he moved on, “I had a feeling this would happen so I prepared a little game for you” he started with a mischievous look on his face. You matched his energy, playfully glaring at him, “Ok…” you replied with concern earning a chuckle from the audience. “So I had my team go through your twitter and try to find any common topics you talk about” At the mention of your twitter account you could feel your cheeks warm as you realise where he is going with this.

“Oh god…”. Despite having a decent following, you essentially used your twitter as a dumping ground for all of your opinions on films, actors, food, basically everything. Which also meant you tweeted a lot, and I mean a lot, about your celebrity crush. The breathtaking Jenna Ortega. You practically worshipped her. Your initial film reviews of her performances soon turned into you straight up thirsting over her, so much so you had been asked about it before in previous interviews. It was impossible to deny so you would always openly admit your crush, quite passionately if you might add.

“And it would appear there is one VERY prominent subject” he continued, attempting to hold back a chuckle after seeing the mix of concern and acceptance on your face. “Mhm” you hum as you rest your head on your hand, waiting for him to just say it. “Jenna Ortega”. There it was. You closed your eyes attempting to compose yourself as a smile grew on your face just at the mention of her. “So I thought we could take a look at a few of the more recent ones and you could explain them to us all”, he finishes with a look of satisfaction, knowing he had struck gold. “Really trying to expose me aren’t you Jimmy.”, you chuckle as you straighten your posture and face the screen, “Your lucky I’m passionate about this.” you add causing Jimmy and the audience to laugh.

“Ok first one”. A screenshot of a tweet you posted in January 2022, the day that ‘The Fallout’ premiered for streaming, came up on the screen. It read ‘Just watched ‘The Fallout’ for the first time. Jenna Ortega everybody🧎🧎🧎’. You chuckled as you listened to Jimmy read it out to the audience. “I mean it’s pretty self explanatory” you start, reflecting back on that day. “I didn’t get the chance to see it beforehand so I had been waiting for it to come to a streaming service and when it did… OOO Jimmy you have no idea.” you explain whilst the audience bursts out laughing and you just shrug your shoulders. “What can I say. Not only was her performance Oscar worthy but DAMN she looked good doing it.” you fall back in you chair with a massive smile on your face whilst they all cheer and laugh around you.

“Ok ok next one” Jimmy says through his laughter. A new screenshot of a tweet from a week or so later, right after you had seen ‘Scream 5’, appears on the screen reading, “I’m not one for horror, but did I just binge the entirety of the Scream saga to see ‘Scream 5’ with Jenna Ortega? Absolutely. P.S it was so worth it”, Jimmy read it out as you and the audience laughed whilst your hand hid your massive smile. “Lets just say I would do anything to be able to watch her.” you say with a smirk on your face as you try to suppress your giggle. “I actually really don’t like horror that much. I hate jump-scares with a passion. I was also praying the entire time that Jenna’s character didn’t die. That was basically all I cared about.”

“Ok final ones” Jimmy states as he pulls up a tweet from only a few weeks ago from after you binged ‘Wednesday’ is one sitting. “Guys someone explain to me how Jenna played a literal psycho but was still incredibly attractive AND girlfriend material.” Jimmy read as he also pulled up another one from a few days ago, ”These bts photos from Wednesday… Someone take them away from me I need this girl as my girlfriend ASAP” you chuckle as he finishes reading them out. “I mean look I think we can all relate to a show being that much more enjoyable because an actor you love is it in right?” you question, looking at the audience who respond with nods and cheers “Right so when I saw that Jenna was playing Wednesday I legitimately counted down the days until it aired and I watched the entire show in one sitting” you finish with a laugh. “That first tweet was right after I finished it and the second one… I mean guys have you seen those photos how could I not be in love”

Meanwhile…

The Tonight Show was a show that Jenna frequently watched. She had been checking Instagram to see who would be appearing on the show when she stumbled across you. She noticed someone who she instantly found attractive, and their name sounded familiar although she wasn’t sure where from. ‘Y/N L/N…. where do I know you from’ she thought as she googled your name in an attempt to connect the dots. Browsing through your movies and tv shows, nothing seemed to trigger any realisation despite having seen some of them. ‘Weird’

Jenna set her phone aside, sat down on the couch, and took out her TV remote, turning it on and switching the station to start the show. Turning it on just as Jimmy announces you, she watches you walk out and her eyes widen slightly as her cheeks warm ever so slightly. You were gorgeous. She sat there speechless as she watched you smile and wave to the crowd, and she couldn’t help but smile with you as you sat in your chair.

If she was being completely honest with herself, she was entirely distracted by your beauty and hadn’t been listening to a majority of what was said, that was until she noticed you glaring at Jimmy. Snapping out of her trance, she listens to Jimmy explain the ‘game’ he wanted to play with you, something about looking through your twitter. ‘Wait have I seen her on twitter?’ Jenna briefly thought as he continued explaining. Her eyes shot open as she unexpectedly heard her name. ‘Wait what’, her ears immediately perking up, her attention now entirely on Jimmy.

As soon as the first tweet came on screen, Jenna’s mouth dropped open as she was suddenly hit with the realisation of where she had seen you before. She wasn’t one to frequent twitter, but whenever she did she would always notice a large amount of tags and tweets relating to you. The ones she had seen were just her being tagged in the comments of your tweets but she thought nothing of it and just presumed it was the fans messing around. She was obviously mistaken.

As you continued talking about your tweets and your love for her so openly on live tv, her cheeks burned as she sat there on her couch in pure disbelief. “How could I not be in love” is what you had said. That was all she needed to hear before she decided to binge almost all of your previous interviews, and to her surprise, and delight, you mentioned her in almost every one.

‘Holy shit’ she whispered as you wrapped up talking with Jimmy, saying your goodbyes and promoting your movie one last time. As she watched you stand she thought ‘fuck it’ as she reached for her phone, immediately opening instagram and going to her DMs.

Back at the studio…

You had just left the stage and were taking a moment to relax and think about how everything had gone. ‘I really just said that on live TV’ you thought to yourself as you chuckled and headed back to your dressing room to get changed and head home. The first thing you did was change out of your outfit because, despite how beautiful it makes you feel, your one and only real love—aside from Jenna—is an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. Once you had changed you grabbed your phone off the table and took a glance at your notifications, the number of which multiplied significantly since before the show. ‘Oh wow ok’ you mumbled as you scrolled through them seeing if there were any of significance.

You were about to put your phone down before a DM notification caught your eye, your breath hitching as you read the name. ‘Holy shit no way’. It was from fucking Jenna Ortega. ‘What the actual fuck… oh my god ok’. Deciding to wait until you got home to answer it, so you don’t seem too unbearably desperate, you grabbed your things and walked briskly to your car. As you drive along the quiet streets late at night, your mind is racing as all you can think about is her. ‘Oh my god does that mean she watched the interview?’ ‘I can’t believe she actually knows who I am’ ‘How am I going to respond to this oh god’.

When you finally arrived at your apartment, you hurriedly got out of the car and made it to your floor before you almost crashed through the door with excitement. Not bothering to do anything else, you instantly collapse onto your couch and open you instagram, saying ‘Fuck it’ and opening the DM. “Hey cutie” it started, instantly making you blush. “I’m so sorry it’s taken me so long to reach out to you. I would love to get to know you better so I was wondering whether you wanted to maybe get dinner with me sometime this week?? Absolutely no pressure but I would love to meet you in person :)” You sat there speechless for a moment. Jenna Ortega, your celebrity crush, wants to go out with you?!? ‘This is too good to be true’ you thought as your fingers hovered over the keyboard. You eventually decided to just go for it, “Are you asking me out on a date?? ;)” you typed quickly and sent before you could start overthinking it.

You were shocked when it was read in just a few seconds, and you waited eagerly for her reply “How could I not ask such a beautiful girl on a date <3”. Here you were, on what you thought would be a regular day of press, instead being asked to go on a date by your celebrity crush. This was an ‘I made it’ moment on a completely different scale.

Part 2

#jenna ortega #jenna ortega request #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega x fem reader #jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega imagine #wednesday #wednesday netflix #the fallout #scream 5 #wednesday addams x fem reader #wednesday addams x reader #simp4wom3n

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astralleywright · 11 months

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Ashton in Jrusar is so funny bc they're like. clearly a massive loser. its just that everybody else in Bells Hells is an even bigger loser and also doesn't know this city or really cities in general so whenever anything happens they just all turn to him like "Ashton 🥺 what do we do" like a bunch of baby ducklings who imprinted on a mangy street dog. and then Ashton takes them to a guy he knows who he has to bribe before they'll actually tell him anything or even just. not immediately kick him out of their establishment. and then this person tells Ashton they're proud of him and amazed he actually has friends now and he's just like fuck i know right. and the rest of the Hells are increasingly confused and concerned but they just keep it pushing and ask Ashton questions like, "have you ever had a bounty put on you before?" to which they're like "yeah I probably have one on me right now"

#critical role #ashton greymoore #crposting #rlly though based on these reactions i think what went down with the Nobodies is very well known amongst these circles #and that it has probably had a very profound and noticeable effect on Ashton that was not just the obvious visual one #for the record this post is about how everyone deserves love. including mangy street dogs and weird losers who get kicked out of bars.#and also i mean Ashton's guidance IS very helpful their entire time in Jrusar. even if half the time their answer is 'fuck if i know'#bhposting

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stupidthoughtsinwriting · 6 months

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Glimpse of Us

Summary: Years after the faithful night, reality brings the two back together, with all the years of unresolved pain, feelings and comparisons

Warning: Angst is all the warning I can think off ehehhe, Hard core Angst

Note: ehehehehe the long awaited sequel to She use to be mine is finally here! After what? nearly 2 years. its finally here! I'm so sorry for the long wait and thank you to those who encouraged me to continue on with the next part. I won't dawdle on and let you lot enjoy the concoction i seem to have mustered on. ehehe again sorry for the months delay.

oh and i almost forgot, the italics are best imagined as her singing

P.S. I drafted this post 7 or 8 months after the first part and dear god, how time has passed. Looking back at the story, I'm not really too proud of this one and ended it because I really have no idea how to continue it. I have an idea for a next part (dangerous words coming from me) but I'm not gonna set a date for when I post it because we all know how the last part turned out. Anyways enjoy

😊❤️💛💚💙💜🖤😊 -T

‘Hey, you’re up in five’`

‘Yah sure, just touching up’ you say as you smacked your lips after applying a bit of lip gloss.

‘You don’t need it’ he replied.

‘Still. I can’t believe I agreed to this’ you scoffed, fiddling with your hair for the hundredth time.

‘You’ll do great’ he smiled ‘Now your hair is fine, you look amazing, and I have to go. Break a leg’ he bid before getting on stage to rouse the crowd. Admittedly, you are nervous. You wouldn’t call yourself a singer, but you do have a good enough voice and can hold a tune. You knew it was a mistake singing in front of Harvey and you were only doing this as a favor. God. You checked the mirror one last time before finding it was good enough.

‘Now for tonight’s performance, A very dear friend of mine has agreed to perform tonight, though with a little bit of persuasion.’ Harvey mumbled the last part, getting a laugh from the crowd and a chuckle from yourself ‘She has a voice made by the gods above, though I don’t remember Thor being much of a singer. She can lure you in better than a siren, but I think that’s the other mythology’ he said cheekily.

‘Now, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a dear friend of mine, Y/N Y/L/N!’ he introduced, that being your cue to emerge from the curtain, you stepped on staged and made your way over to the middle where he and the mic was, the spotlight following your movement. You waved and smiled at the crowd, glad there wasn’t much. Grasping the mic, you chuckled as the small crowd continued to clap.

‘Hi everybody’ you began, getting a hello in response from the crowd ‘Wow, thank you for the warm welcome and thank you Harvey for that unrealistic introduction’ you chuckled with the crowd, turning to Harvey who waved you off.

‘Now, taking something off of Harvey’s speech, I am made by no god or am one. Nor am I a siren from the Greek mythology. It did take some persuading to get me to do this and hopefully I don’t regret it.’ You laughed sheepishly.

‘I don’t normally sing on stage or in public really unless it’s karaoke with friends, which by the way is how I got tricked into doing this, so pardon me if I seem a bit nervous’ you smile shyly. Glancing back at Harvey, with a smile on his face, he nodded, pushing you to continue. Pulling out the rest of the confidence you still had stored, you turned back beaming at the crowd.

‘Now to not keep you waiting any longer, Paul if you will’ you gestured to the man on the piano and he nods before gliding his fingers along the keys, playing the start of the song. Letting out a breath, you closed your eyes, feeling the rhythm of the piano before singing the lyrics. Grabbing hold of the mic, you opened your eyes and began.

He'd take the world off my shoulders

If it was ever hard to move

He'd turn the rain to a rainbow

When I was living in the blue

You let your eyes flutter to a close as you gripped the mic firmly. Swaying your body occasionally to melody.

Why then if he is so perfect

Do I still wish that it was you?

Perfect don't mean that it's working

So what can I do? Ooh

Opening your eyes, you scanned the crowd, completely surprised by how the much you can see of the crowd seemed entranced.

When you’re out of sight

You saw you’re your friends in a booth over on the corner, the people entering the establishment.

In my mind

Then the bar where you found him, staring at you. You locked eyes with those beautiful ocean blue orbs that you love loved so much. Stumbling over your words, you nearly forgot about the song but once the piano keys hit the right note, your lips continued in autopilot.

Cause sometimes I look… in his eyes

And that's where I find

A glimpse of us

Eyes leaving contact, you scanned his entirety. The grey streaks at his temples have grown longer since the last time you saw him. The old clean-shaven face he used to don had a goatee. Prominent lines and creases were evident in his features and really the years have aged him well. He wore a suit, complete with a vest, a red handkerchief in the breast pocket and everything. A glass of whiskey at his side and he was still as handsome as the day you left.

You closed your eyes once more, willing this to just be another trick or hallucination by your imagination. Though it was a horrid idea as memories of the day came back crashing onto you, you let them stay shut as you continued.

And I try to fall for his touch

But I'm thinking of the way it was

There you stood, as beautiful as the day he met you, if not more. In all your beauty, and the signature grin you adorned, you were radiant. Though the spotlight might have something to do with it, you were still a ray of sunshine through the darkest of clouds.

The rest of the world faded out to him and his mind finally faltered. There you were. Standing a few feet away as you introduced yourself. Your hair’s cut short, or at least shorter than the last time he’d seen you. Earrings hid behind your curls and the lightest bit of make-up was applied to your soft features. Though that didn’t hide the blossoming pink tint gracing your cheeks. Your lips glistened with the lip gloss you had on just like you use to. Smile lines drew at the corner of your eyes as you chuckled over your own words, explaining how you ended up in your current situation.

You always smiled, even when you were feeling down, you always smiled. Whether to hide what you were truly feeling or to just be nice to people, you always smiled. He nearly forgot how beautiful that smile was, with only his dreams used to recall that charming grin, since it has been a rarity for him to look you up or even open the box full of pictures during your years together. Even with the picture he kept in his nightstand, he rarely opened the drawer. Funny how this photographic memory of his nearly forgot the most beautiful piece of art he’s ever seen.

He listened to every single word you uttered as he looked and committed every single detail he could of you to memory. Your hair curled into soft waves, parted and pinned on one side. Your frame, fuller since the last time he saw your thin, nearly skeletal figure on that fateful night. You wore a wine-red wrap top that reached down to your wrists, paired with simple jeans and boots, you looked divine. The dip in the neckline of your shirt revealed the top of your cleavage but the gleaming gold necklace is what caught his attention. It was a simple gold bar plate though engraved with a heartbeat on one side. Common and a bit of a cliché now adays but what was special about that was it was an actual heartbeat. His. He gifted it to you when you both got accepted at Metro General. He explained that it was how his heart beat whenever he thought of you. As you tried to find the words to thank him, he made you turn it over to the other side to another engraving. You know I love you so, it said. A line from one of your favorite songs. He remembered how tears brimmed your eyes as you leaped to him, capturing his lip with yours.

What came as a shock to him now was that you were still wearing it. As he continued to look you over, the sound of your chuckle registered in his ears. God, he loves that sound. A sound he hasn’t heard long before you left. Looking back up to your face, he sees the girl he met all those years ago, buried under piles of books in the library on campus. The very same girl that chuckled at his horrible attempt at a flirtatious first introduction. A small smile tugged at his lips both at the memory and the sound. He hasn’t heard that sound in so long, it was a wonder when he heard it last. He just knew it was long before he fucked up and just chose to relish in the sweet sound now.

Now focusing and giving his undivided attention to your voice now, he listened.

‘I don’t normally sing on stage or in public really unless it’s karaoke with friends, which by the way is how I got tricked into doing this, so pardon me if I seem a bit nervous’ you laugh timidly. A chuckle bubbled at his throat as flashes of you singing whilst cooking in the kitchen of your tiny apartment came into view. Wearing nothing but his shirt as you flipped pancakes, singing from Coldplay to Queen at the top of your lungs or humming to Ed Sheeran whilst you worked and studied case filles.

He knew you enough to know that you were nervous, you didn’t have to say it. After all these years he still knew you better than the back of his scarred hands, heck better than he knows himself.

He saw you look to the side and his eyes followed, landing on the host from earlier. With a smile on his face, he nodded, giving you the reassurance you needed to continue with your performance. And it did, he saw how you pulled the last of your confidence before turning back to the crowd.

A pang of jealousy shot through him as he watched. I mean what did he expect, for you to be alone after all these years. A stupidly selfish part of him even hoped that you’d be waiting for him. To get his act together and you’d be back together. It was incredibly stupid; he knew that but that didn’t stop the creeping grip of jealousy from grasping his heart. As much as he knew how selfish the thought is, that didn’t stop the pain and hurt he felt seeing you look for reassurance in another man. Even after all these years.

The smile he had drawn up earlier had faded to a look of melancholy. It was good you had someone, he thought. Someone to be there for whenever you needed them the most, unlike him.

He watched as you turned and gestured to the pianist who nodded and started to fiddle with the keys. He watched as you took a breath, closed your eyes and began to sway to the smooth melody of the music. A small grin was itching at your lips. You were always more comfortable whenever listening to music and this was evident, unbeknownst to you.

Then you started to sing. You opened your eyes, took a firm grip at the mic and the lyrics just came dripping smoothly from your lips. That melodic voice of yours that he loves so much reminded him of the early mornings in the kitchen, the concerts in the shower and the lullabies to the kids under your care. Little did you know but the sound of your sweet voice always comforted him during the hardest times. He didn’t ask you to sing directly but he always listened whenever you hummed a simple tune or sang a song from some Disney movie to calm the kids in peds ward.

He took in every word that came from your lips. From what he’s heard so far from the first verse, it was about how the man lightened and took away the burden and sorrows the singer felt. The way you sang the song, it was beautiful. It was as if you were truly meaning the words that left your lips and he couldn’t help but feel the envy creeping back up at him, though at the same time, he’s conflicted with relief. He didn’t know if you’ve had someone during the past couple of years but as hurt as he is at the prospect of you with somebody else, it sort of gave him a sense of comfort thinking that you were getting taken care off. It eased some of the weight he felt and often times he thought maybe it was good that you separated. All he'd done with you the last few months of your relationship was hurt and neglect you and if you ever found someone that remedied that, maybe it was for the best that you left.

He watched your eyes flutter to a close again. The way your body moved to the melody of the music completely hypnotized him that his drink was deemed long forgotten.

Why then if he is so perfect, Do I still wish that it was you?

At those words, for some reason that gave him hope. He didn’t know if it was just the song but really, just the way you sang it made it seem all too genuine. He still loves you; he knew that very well. He also knows that he had a better chance in coming up with a new strategy in defeating Thanos (despite the many but one failed attempts he saw using the time stone), than ever getting back in a relationship with you.

You are the most kind, caring and understanding person he knew but you were also stubborn. He might have the chance in getting to apologize and to ask for forgiveness, but a relationship was a billion to one cosmic fluke. Though that didn’t stop him from wondering if you meant those words.

You opened your eyes and continued with the song. He noticed you looking at the growing mass of people watching. From the corner booths to the door, he knew from that growing look at your face that you were surprised to say the least at how many were captivated by your performance.

Then you met his gaze. Those soft blues meeting that beautiful shade of your own eyes. God, how much he loved those shining y/e/c orbs could never be put into words. How they twinkle in the light. The comfort and understanding they held and how they always seem to know he felt.

When he woke up from the crash, the first thing he longed to find were your eyes. The warmth, comfort and security they held, he ached to see those beautiful orbs because for the briefest moments he forgot everything but you. You were his main thought. He forgot about the fight, the neglectful months before, the pale, emaciated figure of yours that haunts his dreams, everything. Only the kind, gorgeous face of the woman he fell for all those years ago stayed in his mind because whenever he thought of comfort, the only thing that formed in his head was, no… is you.

He was hurt, in pain, his body ached, he could barely see let alone open his eyes. He needed comfort, he needed you. But when was life ever nice.

Instead, he was met with the fluorescent lights of the hospital room and the horrific sight of the mangled hands that once led a successful career in medicine. There was no warming gaze to be greeted with, only the sad sympathetic ones he now knows to be from the wrong woman and a cold, sterile room.

Cause sometimes I look… in his eyes

You stumbled over your words as you continued to look at each other. You continued singing but your eyes were locked together. Neither of you could look away. Your mouth moved on autopilot as your eyes lost the spark of a flame you had earlier, just like that night all those years ago, replaced by a reflection of the pain and grief he caused. The very same one that haunts his dreams.

A glimpse of us

You finished, your voice fading as the lyrics came to an end. As soon as the piano tuned out, you smiled and gave a little bow at the crowd who erupted in applause before leaving the stage in a hurry. Welled up tears spilled down warm cheeks as emotions and memories continued to riot your mind. After all these years he still managed to make you cry. Why can’t you move on?

You were quick on getting your belongings from the small prep area behind the stage however your plans of a speedy getaway were quickly ousted by the very same gentleman that perpetrated this whole ordeal.

‘You were amazing! The emotion you put in the performance…’ He continued to ramble on, looking past the curtain and to the roaring crowd cheering on for an encore, completely oblivious of his friend’s distraught state. ‘I mean the teary eyes, come on. Doctoring ever not work for you, acting could be something to con…’ he paused after finally getting a glimpse of you, swiftly wiping away tear streaks that ran down your cheeks but the growing redness in your eyes were dead give aways. ‘Shit’ finally piecing things together, he cursed, his attention fully set on you now. ‘It was real. Fuck, are you okay?’ he asked, finding it difficult figuring out what to do, yet a hint of urgency too as he still had to go back on stage.

‘Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.’ You swallowed, lying through your teeth. ‘I just… have to go’ you mumbled quickly, giving him a grin in hopes to resemble something as composed as the friend he knew. Though he knew you enough to know you were not ‘fine’, with great reluctance he let you go, rushing to the stage shortly after exchanging goodbyes and promising to check with him later.

As your friend went back on stage, you quickly took a survey of your appearance on a nearby mirror, making sure you didn’t look as dreadful as you felt. The bit of makeup you had on survived, however your eyes weren’t as forgiving being red. Nevertheless, you sped out to leave.

Considering your options, your only available exits were the front or back door and wanting to avoid individual who has left you in this state (just by being present), you turned to the corridor that lead to the back door but as unfortunate as you were, the exit was blocked by men hauling in delivery shipments and by the looks of things they weren’t going to be done any time soon.

You were antsy enough as it was and waiting by the second for them just added to your agitation. You really needed to leave now. A lump was lodging itself on your throat and the air around you seemed to be thinning. You need to leave NOW.

Swallowing all the anxieties you had, you had no choice but to rush out the front. You stayed on the side, avoiding the patrons and the one in particular perched up at the bar but unlucky you (your luck really seemed to have vanished really), the man saw your abrupt departure, unbeknownst to you.

You made it out to the street and the open air was a fresh welcome, letting you finally breath, whereas the establishment you had left felt suffocating.

You thought it was done. That the lump in your throat would finally dissolve as you walked down the street, thinking that you had successfully avoided the now famed sorcerer of New York. The hero, Doctor Strange…

but when was life ever good to you.

‘y/n…’ he breathed out, catching the sight of you sprinting toward the doors he entered only moments before. It pulled him out of his reverie, wondering if he should talk to you, what he’d talk to you about, an apology perhaps, contemplation of your years together, however the sight of you pulled him out like it always did, especially in the beginning. He sometimes had the tendency to be too deep in thought, he’d ignore everything and everyone in his surroundings, but he always caught you. Your scent, your voice, let alone your image, it always drew him from his stupor.

Now the sight of you cemented his thoughts.

Downing the last of his drink, he pulled a bill from his wallet and slammed it down the counter without so much as a look onto how much it was before he scurried out, chasing after you. (Like he should have done all those years ago)

He called out your name once he reached the sidewalk, turning left and right in search for you. The street wasn’t crowded much so it was easy to spot the figure stood still a few yards away to his right. With the last few rays of the dying sun and dim streetlight, he made out the curled head of hair the same shade as yours the figure had, and he just knew it was you.

‘Y/N!’ he nearly shouted, causing a few heads to turn in his direction but not yours. You kept your back to him as he sprinted your way. He knew you heard him. You would have kept on walking had you not.

It only took a second to reach you and when he did, he hesitated, not knowing what to do. He wanted to reach for you and plead for forgiveness. On his knees if he had to. Instead, he opted for another call for your name, hoping you’d finally face him.

And you did, after dropping your hands to your side, he heard a small sniff before you turned to him with your gorgeous smile and said (in a somewhat forced cheer in your voice)

‘Stephen. Hi’

‘Hi’ he replied densely. You idiot, he thought at how stupid his response was.

A silence fell over you both as Stephen canvassed your entirety now at a closer distance. He took in every graceful line, freckle and strand of hair he saw to memory. Every little detail he took in was as important as every breath he took. How bloodshot your eyes were didn’t go unnoticed though. Puffy around the eyelids from crying, red possibly from -he guessed- how hard you were rubbing them just before he reached you.

Surprising thing is, it still broke his heart seeing the distress you so clearly were trying to hide. The thought of tears running down your cheeks, was illegal. They had no business in gracing your face yet, he can’t help but realize that he just keeps being the reason you were left in that state. Where were all these sympathies back then? He asked himself, the very night flashing through his mind.

‘Stephen’ you said again, taking him out of head again. He missed that though. His name coming off your lips. It brought him back to all the mornings with you in bed, tangled in sheets as the morning glory woke you up and you woke him up with that honey sweet voice with the say of his name. Stephen

‘Sorry, um…’ he coughed, trying to piece a sentence, words, anything really that didn’t end in three syllables.

‘You were wonderful’ he finally managed, okay that’s five ‘Back there at the bar…. you were amazing’ like always, he wanted to add but stopped himself, pointing back to where he just left.

‘Thank you’ you muttered, nodding your head before leaving it down to look at your shoes. The way you responded lacked any sort of confidence, as if you didn’t believe his words or yourself. Truthfully, you were never really the most confident, even back then but always did step up when the situation needed. Either that’s the reason or you didn’t believe him, which considering his case, why should you.

Your hands were fidgeting, he noticed. Running and marking the bones of one hand with your fingers tips before your nails would start to pick on skin. This was something new to him. A new nervous habit of yours he hadn’t known before, so it was most likely picked up after your separation.

The person in front of him wasn’t the same one he knew all those years ago yet, still so similar and the same. He remembers everything about you, so if anything of the woman he knew back then was still in there, he knew by how you were acting that you were uncomfortable, agitated.

‘Really, you were amazing’ he affirmed, really wanting you to believe him, or at least to believe how wonderful you really are. ‘Truly, but are you okay?’

He’d done it. Ask that stupid question and that’s what broke the dam, causing the river to run past it with no mercy.

He heard a laugh at first, your hand raising towards your face. The sound bordered on maniacal, nothing like the one he loved but familiar enough to know he has heard it before. Slowly, your head rose, your hand half covering your mouth, half wiping away the rivers that flowed down your cheeks. The sight finally triggered the memory he was looking for. It was all too similar to that night, it felt like déjà vu.

‘um’ you started, finally managing to say after that little fit ‘I could lie but what’s the point? No. I’m not. I’m not okay because you’re here. Fuck, I actually thought that I could get away from this but no, evidently not.’ You tried to reason, looking him straight in the eyes ‘Christ Stephen, I was okay. I was okay when I was singing, I was okay ten minutes ago but then you just came out of no where and now I’m not okay. I’m never okay whenever it comes to you. Not anymore.’ You spit like venom, unrelenting in your streak to get out all your pain because of him. ‘I thought I could be civil but… I-I’m tired. I’m sorry, I’m gonna go. Enjoy your night’ you hurried, saying your goodbyes and turning your back to him to walk away. You would have gone had he not called you back in such a pleading tone.

‘please’ he begs and for some reason and it compels you to listen. You halt your steps, you don’t turn around, but you do wipe away your tears and he takes that as his chance to apologize for everything.

‘I’m sorry.’ He starts, his own eyes teary ‘I’m sorry for everything. You didn’t deserve what I did to you and it…’ he swallows that lump in his throat, trying to get the rest of his words out ‘it haunts me every day. You’re the kindest person I know, and I took you for granted. I was an arrogant piece of shit, too self-absorbed to even notice that the woman I love was working herself to death.’ You start to turn around ’You were the purest thing I knew and you didn’t deserve the monster I was. And I am so sorry for who I was then. I’ve changed or I’m trying to change, to be better than- than that monster that hurt you and I could only hope for your forgiveness because, you were always someone I never wanted to lose, and I did. By a stupid mistake and horrible decisions.’ His tears start to run, and you finally face him ‘I never wanted to let you go but I was hurting you more than I was loving you and I understand if I don’t get your forgiveness but, I am sorry. I am so sorry for hurting you. For taking you for granted. For not treating you how you deserved to be treated. For everything. You didn’t deserve what I did to you and hearing myself admit this… really just proves I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I need you to know that I am sorry. I’m really sorry for what I did and that… that you deserve.’

You stare at him with tears running down both your eyes and he sees the same urge to wipe them away, in you. The hesitant twitch of your arm as if by instinct, to move and act on the need to clear away his tears and comfort him. At least that’s what he interprets the move of your arm because that’s exactly what you would have done, that’s exactly your character and he wants to do the same. To dry away your tears and take you in his arms in respite.

But you act against those thoughts, only balling your fist as some form of control. You stare into him, as if gauging to find the lie in his words yet there is none and he sees something in your eyes that he can’t explain before they dart away. He watches as you scan your surroundings, looking at the people likely to be watching you both but he didn’t care for them. He only cared about you.

When your eyes turned back to him, you closed them immediately, face scrunching as you desperately tried to hold back to tears but to him, it was as if you were so pained by the mere sight of him. He’d be lying if he said that it didn’t chip away a piece of his heart.

Your head bowed for a bit as you tried to compose yourself but the words that left your lips once you rose again, only broke more of his heart.

‘You’re forgiven’ you were quick to say before turning back and walking away from him. He watched with wet cheeks, as you sped away from him, and he kept his gaze on you until you disappeared around the corner and then you were gone.

For what seemed like forever, he kept his eyes on that street corner, hoping for something that won’t happen. He knew that whatever he wanted wasn’t going to happen, but a man could hope, right? Though hopes are as easy to diminish as they are to ignite. Grief and disappointment, they tend to last.

The sun had set and streetlights and buildings are all that lit the side walk where Stephen stood. A man well known to the people and thus, there were those who were bound to watch the spectacle put on by the hero. Small crowds had formed over time as they watched the powerful sorcerer confess to the dreadful things he’s done to some doctor from before his fame, asking for forgiveness to all the terrible things he’s done.

To new passersby, they’d wonder why a hero of the city stood so stiff, looking at oblivion. They’d wonder for a minute without context before walking away with a shrug, figuring much more important things to think of.

Eventually, the crowd thinned to a trickle, til the lone man was all that remained the lone street, wondering what he had done to deserve you.

A/U: I've read this way too much to do a final proof read so sorry for all the grammatical mistakes and spellings and all that. Thanks for the read though

I'm hoping that the people who asked to be tagged don't mind me tagging them this late in the game and I hope you liked it. Hopefully it was worth the wait @strangesweetheart @evelynrosestuff @vesta-ro @doodle-cat16 @nabiilahadid @evansmusk @circe143 @dracoflaco

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rapha-reads · 1 month

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IWTV rewatch

(previously in "Daniel versus messy dramatic vampires"... Rashid turned out to be Armand, Louis' dissociating and lying to himself, Lestat's dead, or not, who knows, Claudia's gone nuclear and everyone's insane. Onto season 2, welcome back to the trainwreck and the ramblings of a bookworm nerd. Spoilers for the whole show and the books.)

Season 2 episode 1 [What Can the Damned Really Say to the Damned] - part 1/4

- Before we even start the episode (oh boy this is going to get long), I have to share the passage from the book from which that quote comes because it's amazing:

"The Mediterranean was black, black off the coast of Italy, black off the coast of Greece, black always, black when in the small cold hours before dawn, as even Claudia slept, weary of her books and the meager fare that caution allowed her vampire hunger, I lowered a lantern down, down through the rising vapor until the fire blazed right over the lapping waters; and nothing came to light on that heaving surface but the light itself, the reflection of that beam traveling constant with me, a steady eye which seemed to fix on me from the depths and say, 'Louis, your quest is for darkness only. This sea is not your sea. The myths of men are not your myths. Men's treasures are not yours.'

But oh, how the quest for the Old World vampires filled me with bitterness in those moments, a bitterness I could all but taste, as if the very air had lost its freshness. For what secrets, what truths had those monstrous creatures of night to give us? What, of necessity, must be their terrible limits, if indeed we were to find them at all? What can the damned really say to the damned?"

- [Daniel] "Memory is a monster. We forget, it doesn't. "

We about to explore the concept even deeper...

- [Louis] "She writes it here, so, let's believe it."

[Daniel] "Let's."

Tells you everything already. Let's believe what we've been said, let's believe what's been written, let's not try to verify anything, let's not try to check our flawed memories against facts. And that'll be your undoing, Lou.

- Ayyy, the first "disregard"! Danny boy really does not want to hear from Armand at the beginning.

- Can I just say, maaaan, dirty grimy Louis looks absolutely beautiful, no, I will not take any criticism.

- [Louis] "Can you imagine, never dreaming? Would you look forward to sleep? Or would it terrify you when the day broke?"

[Armand] "Or is it the sleep of an infant? Tabula rasa?"

Makes me think of something my Doctor, Eleventh, said once:

"Clara sometimes asks me if I dream. 'Of course I dream', I tell her. 'Everybody dreams.' 'But what do you dream about?' she'll ask. 'The same thing everybody dreams about', I tell her. 'I dream about where I'm going.' She always laughs at that. 'But you're not going anywhere, you're just wandering around.' That's not true. Not anymore. I have a new destination. My journey is the same as yours, the same as anyone's. It's taken me so many years, so many lifetimes, but at last, I know where I'm going, where I've always been going: home, the long way 'round." (Eleventh Doctor at the end of The Day of The Doctor)

I think this quote can perfectly be applied to Louis. I mentioned in my rewatch of the very first episode that by accepting Lestat's offer, Louis loses access to an important part of his identity: his life amongst the Creole community of NOLA, with the church and the weddings, the dances and the games, the traditions and rites. And Louis says himself, what he wants is a family of his own, a home. Everything Louis ever wanted is to find the place and the people he belongs to, his home. It turned out not to be the NOLA of his youth, where he couldn't have a proud out gay man. Season 2 shows that it's not Paris of the after war either, nor is it with Armand; Paris is too isolated and too strict, and life with Armand, well, too dishonest and cold. Is it to be with Lestat? Could be. Or, like Louis says and shows in ep8, he's companion enough for himself and he'll paint his life with his own colors from now on.

- Abso-fucking-lutely adore the change in behaviour of Armand now that he's not playing Rashid. The white shirt casually open, the lounging, seductive pose, the langourous manner of talking... It's another mask, he's playing another role to push Daniel's buttons, but it's closer to how you'd imagine a 500-year-old vampire who looks as gorgeous as he does would act. And honestly Assad Zaman is gorgeous and talented and even if I'm not an Armand fan I am still mesmerised and nodding approvingly.

- Oh, hey, didn't notice the first time around, but the subtitles when Claudia talks German (or I think it's Ukrainian?) respect the little errors of syntax and tenses she makes. That makes my little multilingual heart very happy.

- [Louis] "This war. It's affecting the blood. Been drinking misery, hopelessness. It's in the blood, we're taking it in. Taking it on. I'm thinking it's why we can't get warm, warm up."

Yeah... *looks at 2024* I know what you mean.

Louis imitating Claudia and having a conversation all with himself is equal part funny and sad. They both need a hug. And a shower.

- [Louis] "The vampire hadn't been here for centuries. The few scraps of forensic proof we found made the case plain, but Claudia was unassailable. Like... like some deranged geologist waving a woolly mammoth tusk saying, 'Let's knock on the neighbor's door, there must be one inside.'"

Fascinated with the way Louis's been narrating this part of the European journey so far. There's life in his voice, rhythm, animation, in a way that was seldom there before. As if he's fondly remembering that part of his life, when it was just him and Claudia and no obligations, no responsibility, just the chaotic, bloody wilderness of WW2-torn Europe, and despite the grief, the loneliness, the cold, he's enjoying himself, because it's some sort of elipsis between the pain he left behind in NOLA and the pain he's about to encounter in Paris. As if those few years running around Europe in rags, hunting down phantoms, was much more peaceful and fulfilling than 30 years of (admittedly, partly) abusive marriage to Lestat, and definitely more than the Paris time or the after-Paris. And the way the light orchestral music hasn't stopped since the beginning of the episode highlights that feeling of fond remembrance. Yes, Claudia was angry and mostly silent, yes, he was grieving Lestat and hallucinating him all the time, yes, Europe was deep in WW2 and all the horrors that entails, and still, Louis is feeling more himself than he did in his own hometown with his suits and his respectability and his complicated family. Maybe Lestat was right after all, maybe Louis hid behind his masks for so long while all along his true nature was the wilderness hidden by the veneer of sociability, the way New Orleans's buildings barely veil the swamps... Or maybe I'm reading way too much into it all.

- [Louis] "I want to thank you... for the memories you helped restore the other night. I understand these diaries much better now."

Are you sure. Are you really sure of that, Louis. Though, it does give more weight to what I was saying just above. Louis feels like he's unlocked a part of himself he had lost or forgotten thanks to Daniel's unrelenting questions, and it makes him much more invested in his own narration and much more lenient towards Claudia's narration.

- [Daniel] "And tonight's two hours and counting on chasing old world vamps who never materialize. You ever read Moby Dick, Real Rashid?"

[Real Rashid] "I'm here to serve"

[Daniel] "Ah. Yeah, sure. I'm sorry, this is... this is so weird. Where did they send you when Shah Rukh Khan over here was playing you? Is there a panic room behind the Rembrandt?"

[Louis] "My love ran a theatre company for 150 years, Daniel."

[Daniel] "Your love was in a box pondering a premeditated neck wound, according to Claudia. She wrote it, let's choose to believe it."

[Armand] "Unworthy in San Francisco, Unworthy in Dubai. Disregard."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I AM DYING THIS EXCHANGE IS EVERYTHING

Haaa, let me catch my breath, I've been wheezing for the past 5 minutes relistening a couple of times to the whole thing to make sure I don't miss a part. Catty old bitching drama queens sniping at each other, this is the best. I want a poster with this entire conversation printed on a Rembrandt painting to put in my room.

The SRK mention, DYING!!

Real Rashid being all "begging you to please not involve me in whatever this is, I just want my paycheck".

Louis trying sooooo hard to sell his and Armand's relationship and Daniel immediately coming in with the steel chair and Claudia's diaries, and didn't I say "Let's believe it" would come back to bite him in the ass, I hadn't expected it so soon tho.

And then Armand being so vexed he lets loose his inner catty drama queen too, and yet I am sorry but have you seen how he looks at Daniel even when he's insulting him, Devil's Minion fans, how are we feeling, 'cause I'm having the time of my life.

And finally, to come back to that first line, Daniel alluding to Moby Dick as a parallel to Claudia's impossible hunt for the vamps... I love clever literary references.

Alright. I stopped laughing and I didn't wake up the house. Let's carry on. Dreamstat is about to make his first appearance...

season 1 masterpost

part 2 | part 3 | part 4

#i'm only 30 minutes into this episode and already have 17k words of notes so i'm making several parts to make it easier to read #interview with the vampire #iwtv #iwtv amc #amc iwtv #iwtv s2 #iwtv rewatch #episode reaction #what can the damned really say to the damned #louis de pointe du lac #daniel molloy #the vampire armand #claudia de pointe du lac #dreamstat #rapha talks #rapha writes #rapha watches shows

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sanjerina · 2 months

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Doing a Struggle because I’m usually the very! first! person to say that fatphobia is bullshit, that the relentless focus on body image is a tool of the patriarchy, that people come in Shapes and that is wonderful and just fine!

So.

Had a reunion of my college a capella group this past weekend and spent a lovely day singing with members representing the ~25 years of the group’s existence. We sounded amazing 🔥 and it was a lot of fun!

And someone took a video and I saw my hot, sweaty, fleshy body, a decade older than most of the people there, roughly twice as wide as almost everybody else, and I can’t get any of the fat hate out of my head. The dowager’s hump; the bingo wings; my hair frizzy and sweaty and matted against the back of my neck. Old words in my head: gross, slob, mess, the noteworthy “unfuckable” an ex-GF dubbed me once.

I had heat prostration and had to leave an hour early (the venue having been chosen for its acoustics rather than its HVAC system) — I just feel disgusting looking at the video, remembering feeling like they should have carted me out in a wheelbarrow.

I want to be be proud of my aging body and everything it has gone through. I want to be pleased that we all still remembered the music and could make a glorious noise together. I just feel like a whale, an object of disdain, and I am not sure how to find compassion for myself.

Which I guess I mean to say fighting against this stuff doesn’t magically end. I have done twenty years of therapy —a great deal of it trying to make peace with my body — and if I may say so I am a very good therapist myself! But it doesn’t magically stop: the noise in my head, the internalized self-hatred. Most days it’s easier to bear. Sometimes I don’t even notice it. But today I am doing a Struggle.

It’s okay. We will get up tomorrow and go again. Self-compassion will be renewed, a briefly emptied well running clear and cool again. But it’s okay to notice when things are a little harder.

#mental health #internalized fatphobia #fatphobia #people come in shapes and sizes #tw depression #tw body image

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ninapi · 1 year

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Snake Pillar ╝

Premise: Love isn't always something beautiful, wanted, expected. Iguro had always been in love with Mitsuri, but that didn't stop his Tsuguko from falling for him.

Word Count: 3686

Warning: Main character death, spoilers of the main manga timeline.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Spring, everyone’s favorite season was now here.

The Sakura trees were in full bloom in the capital, the streets filled with beautiful petals flocking around the chilly wind.

Animals and humans alike were now getting intimate to bring new life to this world.

The perfect season for demons to go rampage in town.

After a two weeks long mission along the fire pillar, you were summoned by Oyakata-sama and his wife, the reason was unknown to you but the messenger didn’t seem to be carrying bad news.

“(Y/N) my child. You’ve proven to be the best of your generation; we’ve both been talking, and we think you should be upgraded to Tsuguko. I believe you have the potential to be our next pillar.”

That caught you off guard, yes, the mission was very intense, but if it wasn’t for Rengoku-san you would have died, at least four times. You considered yourself just one more of the bunch, nothing special, besides your bond with the fire pillar that is. You both got more than along, were in complete sync, and everybody knew about this, even your master.

“That would be an honor, Oyakata-sama. If I may ask for something selfish, is it possible to…”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The pillars were summoned for a brief meeting a few days later, the crows didn’t elaborate on the reason, but it didn’t seem urgent, so they all arrived at their own pace.

Once Oyakata-sama arrived, they all took their respective place around the leader, excited to see their master.

“My beloved children. Sorry to call you with such a short notice, I have some good news that wanted to share with you.” this didn’t happen often, usually the meetings were about important upcoming missions or bigger troubles, but he looked awfully calm this time around.

“(Y/N) has proven her worth in countless missions and the last one was her last trial; she will be officially our new Tsuguko starting tomorrow.” Rengoku’s smile was so bright even Gyomei could feel it. He was radiating fire at this point, as proud as one could be.

“Sanemi, I think you’re the perfect match for our little (Y/N).” this caused said smile to drop to the floor in seconds, he was sure he would be the chosen one.

“With all due respect, Oyakata-sama. I can see the logic behind it, she does have great wind affinity, but I honestly don’t think she can withstand my harsh training, wouldn’t it be better to send her over to Rengoku?” Ah... Shinazugawa…such a lovely man, thought Rengoku as his smile was slowly returning to its rightful place.

“Yes, I thought so too, they do have amazing chemistry. But you know I always listen to my wife; she insists she’d be better off with you.” that left Sanemi speechless and a little bothered, he really didn’t want to train a little spoiled brat, he was already busy at it is.

“I can sense your discomfort, Sanemi. And let me lift those worries out right now, even if we both agreed you should be the one, (Y/N) herself came to us asking if it was possible to be trained under Obanai’s lead, she didn’t even know who she would be sent to by then, but she made her preferences known, and I respect that.” Iguro had a coughing attack at the news, having to place a hand on the ground to recover.

“She did what?” Rengoku was beyond heartbroken, he even forgot Oyakata-sama was the one delivering the news, he would never disrespect him in any way, but this was shocking.

“Rengoku.” Himejima clapped his hands loudly, making Rengoku realize what he had done, throwing himself on the floor at once. “I’m sorry for my behavior, Oyakata-sama. Are you sure…she said that?”

“Lift your head Kyojuro. She did, it sounded like she had a reason though. Why don’t you try asking her?” with a short nod, he went back to his seat, crestfallen.

“Obanai, I know you didn’t want a Tsuguko. But she’s the best we have right now, please make sure to train her properly and don’t be too harsh on her, she asked nicely, must really want to be under your care.”

Iguro was losing his cool. He wasn’t only getting a Tsuguko against his will, it was a girl at that. And not just any girl, the girl majority of the guys around the corps had a crush on, even the almighty fire pillar. He didn’t want this, not in the slightest.

“Iguro-san, Iguro-san! (Y/N) is so, so, so, cute! You’re so lucky! I envy you so much!” Kanroji was pulling from her braids in despair, she had been begging for a Tsuguko and had wished for a cute girl to dot on and talk about boys, you were the perfect candidate.

“Oyakata-sama, as I’m sure you know, I’m not good with girls. How can I have a female Tsuguko?” his breath was ragged, his head was spinning, he really didn’t want any of this. “Can’t you give her over to Kanroji?”

“My children,” his tone wasn’t as loving as it usually is anymore, sending chills down everyone’s spine, “This is not an auction, Rengoku and Kanroji might want her, I wanted her under Sanemi myself, but she wants you, Obanai. I’m being as fair as I can be, she’s the one who must be trained by you, the one who will suffer the consequences of this decision, and it has been made, there’s nothing more to argue about. You are all dismissed.”

They all got up from their seat, walking out to the garden as soon as he spoke, Sanemi collapsing on the floor with a satisfied long sigh, “Safe.”

Rengoku on the other hand was quietly sulking behind a wooden post.

Iguro was just there, trying to regain some air back to his lungs and to process what had happened, his loyal friend hissing on his ear trying to offer some sort of comfort.

“Iguro-san! Don’t doubt to call me if you need help! I’m a girl too, we get each other. Maybe I can even steal from time to time and smother her with love after your harsh training! Ahw! So exciting!” Mitsuri was swaying on her feet, daydreaming happily of who knows what atrocities.

“Will do….” his voice was nothing but a whisper, his feet safely guiding him back to his state. Life wasn’t on his side, he’s always been aware of this since he was a child, but this, this was just too much.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You were in the serpent state with your bags by sunrise, ready to fully immerse yourself in the experience, a bright smile on your face.

Iguro, who just woke up was definitely not ready for this, not even saying good morning he jumped right into the matter that barely allowed him to sleep last night, “(L/N) why did you ask to be my Tsuguko? Wasn’t Rengoku a better fit? I’m sure we can get Oyakata-sama to reassign you if we both go toge-“

“I want to be trained by you, Iguro-san. Is that a bad thing?” your eyes were glossy, disappointment painting your features. He wasn’t trying to make you cry, he was just not the right man for the job.

“Why would you want that? You know my training is rough right? I won’t slow down just because you are a girl.”

“I am not expecting you to slow down. I just thought Tsugukos were chosen by affinity. I think you are the coolest Iguro-san…I would like to inherit the snake breathing techniques one day…” this was the first time someone called him cool, this was specially surprising coming from someone who’s been near Rengoku for the longest time.

“Not everyone can do this. You have to have a connection with the species-“ your eyes were glued to the beautiful snake around his shoulders, a childlike expression on your face. “You just want to touch Kaburamaru, don’t you?” his eyes were full of realization, he caught you.

This made you giggle, the snake skillfully wrapping around your arm on its own, quickly enamored by you. “Maybe…”

The ridiculousness of it all made Iguro accept his fate, his snake friend seemed comfortable enough with your presence, he is always friendly but not to this level, you probably had potential for his breathing style by the looks of it, he had to give you a chance to prove yourself.

“Go drop your stuff in the empty room by the entrance, I’ll see you in the training grounds in ten.” He’s never seen such a bright smile before, Kanroji had the most beautiful there is, but your smile was different, it felt warm, you were probably rubbing on Rengoku for too long, it had to be that.

Throwing it to the back of his mind, he moved on with his day.

He had a Tsuguko now, training would be his priority for a while.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Rengoku was still in shock, even if an entire day had gone by. He was sure you guys had a thing, or was it just his imagination?

You don’t just hold hands with random people, right? He wasn’t the most experienced in the love department, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t just him, the longing in your eyes each time you saw him, the way you smiled at him so brightly, so tenderly, it couldn’t be all in his head.

He wanted to see it with his own eyes, so he headed to Iguro’s training grounds, he needed to hear it from you, the reason why.

You were exhausted, panting on the floor after a very long training morning with your favorite pillar. Kaburamaru was laying on you, sunbathing on your belly, making you giggle as you caressed his beautiful scales. Iguro was watching the interaction from up a tree, you didn’t know he was there, but you knew he had to be close otherwise the snake would have left after him already.

He was about to leave when Rengoku arrived, his worried expression made him want to stay a little more. In all truth, he was still wishing you would change your mind and go with the fire pillar, but after training you all morning he wasn’t as discouraged to train you anymore, you had more than enough potential to be a pillar and Kaburamaru loved you, it wasn’t easy to find someone so compatible with his own skills, it would honestly be a shame, even if he didn’t want to accept it.

“(Y/N) dear, is your training for the day over? I wanted to have a word with you…” getting up gently, you set the little snake down on a patch of grass before heading your way over to him. “Sure, Kyo-san. What’s up?”

“I…I was wondering why you chose to come to Iguro instead of being with me. We have such an awesome connection, having you teaming with him instead will be devastating for me.” he was more heartbroken than anything else, he couldn’t care less for the missions, he could do it all by himself, he just enjoyed them so much more since you started tagging along, he misses you already.

“We do, yes.. I just…well you know how everyone’s scared of him? I just think he deserves a chance; nobody wants to be his Tsuguko and I think we could potentially get along one day, he’s great with animals, and so am I. Don’t you think I could be a good serpent breathing representative? I don’t think I could do cool things with fire like you do.” your heart was so big, it was one of the things he loved about you, he couldn’t be upset anymore after hearing your reasoning.

“And what about good old Rengoku? He needs a Tsuguko too you know? I will miss you…” his voice dropped along with his hand which now rested on your waist.

“Good old Kyo-san has a cute little brother that will eventually come to be in his care, he doesn’t need me.” your cute giggles were music to his ears, he really did like you, a lot.

Iguro on the other hand felt uncomfortable watching this whole thing. So you felt pity? Was that it? You wanted to be with him so he wouldn’t end up being the only pillar without an apprentice? He didn’t know how to feel about this, it didn’t feel good, but it also made something fuzzy bloom in his chest.

“Oh? So he’s cute, huh? Is he cuter than me? Am in troubles?” a low chuckle rumbled in his chest, his hand tugging you closer to him.

“You might be~” poking your tongue out at him in a teasing manner, you ran away from him and headed inside the serpent state, “Gotta take a bath, see you later Kyo-san!”

Iguro came out of the tree to pick sleeping Kaburamaru up, Rengoku glaring in his direction. “Didn’t peg you as a stalker, Iguro.”

“Sorry to disappoint you, but this is my state. Now, I would like to make it clear from the start that I expect you to stop clinging to my Tsuguko. She needs to train hard; distractions are not welcomed.” he didn’t know why he was saying all this, words were just coming out of his mouth on their own.

“Weren’t you into Kanroji? Why does it matter to you if I cling to her or not?” raising one of his intimidating eyebrows up, he scoffed. “I well, what? No, I’m not. But she has nothing to do with this. I just don’t want you parading around my state all day, that’s all.”

“I’m not here to see you, so I don’t see why it bothers you this much. But ok, I will leave my time with her reserved for after training hours, then I get to have her all to myself.” without another word, he headed to his own state, his heart felt a bit lighter now that he cleared things up with you, but he’s never heard Iguro talk this much, it was a bit concerning.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

One thing about Obanai is that he wakes up early every morning, even before the sun’s up.

The reason why being he just didn’t want anybody to get a the slightest glimpse of his unwrapped self as he takes a bath, other members of the corpse share the space and he didn’t want anybody to be even more on edge because of him.

You were the contrary, always late, falling asleep was your worse flaw and he hated it deep down in his guts, but he was glad in a way as he never had to encounter you bright and early when he is most tense.

That was until this day.

You weren’t what you would consider ‘early’ you just didn’t sleep at all, there were a lot of things in your head and coming from a difficult mission with lots of death plaguing it would of course cause you to lose sleep. So you decided to take a bath and start stretching while you waited for your training session to start.

You bumped into him on his way out of the bathing area, making both of your towels fall to the ground. Crouching to pick both up you apologized profusely. “I’m so sorry Iguro-san, I didn’t know there was someone in the bath already!”

He was paralyzed with fear, his face out in the open for everyone to see.

You tried not to stare, but this was your first time seeing his face properly. “Don’t look, I’m hideous…” he tried to cover his face with a bucket nearby, your hand reaching over to stop him from doing so.

“There’s no such thing as a hideous person, Iguro-san. I can understand you being self-conscious about the scar, we all obsess over something in our body, I personally don’t like my thighs, that’s why I cover them, but people say they’re nothing out of the ordinary, even if to me they’re awful.”

Mumbling behind his sleeve, he peeked one eye out to look down to your succulent thighs, “They’re fine…why would you hate them?”

“And why would you hate your beautiful face? Makes no sense to me~” giggling past him, you went inside the bathing area, needing to hurry as your trainer was up already.

“B-beautiful? What-…” scoffing, he headed over to his room, quickly wrapping his face away from the world as he usually does. You were indeed a weird one, always seeing the best out of every situation, it was honestly refreshing, but difficult to handle for someone like him.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Time skip~

You’ve been under Iguro’s care for over a year now. You’ve perfected the first three breathing techniques, surprising him with your progress.

You were good, he was even fearing Kaburamaru would leave him and become your partner full time. Who can blame him though? After all this time seeing you around every day, he gets now what people see in you. Not only were you pretty, but you were strong, considerate, kind, selfless. Definitely a match for Rengoku, not him.

You were now sure of his undying love for Kanroji, she would visit him often, eat lunch together, he even bought stuff for her constantly, it was painstakingly obvious they both liked each other. As it was how much Rengoku liked you.

You on the other hand had mixed feelings.

Of course, Rengoku is lovely, he wanted to pursue you officially, but you had a hard time accepting his feelings. You spend all your day with Iguro, you’ve got to truly see him for what he really is, learned to accept him, entertain him, be in sync with him. You now made a great team. It was him you thought about before going to bed and as soon as you woke up. It was him who you wished to receive praises from, it was him you wanted to make proud.

Even if he was clearly in love with someone else, your feelings shifted his way without anyone’s consent.

The way he would bring you a cup of tea after a harsh training routine, the way he would sit quietly next to you eating sweets peacefully, you’ve seen his face already and wasn’t disgusted by it, he could eat around you comfortably.

The way he would let you hold onto his arm if the missions were tough. The way his eyes soften now in your presence.

You were deep in love with a man who’s heart belonged to someone else…

A mission came around for you two, a particularly tough demon had come out very near a village booming with tourists. It needed to be contained and destroyed as fast as possible.

You’ve seen the way his demeanor towards you had changed every time you talk, you know he didn’t think of you as a nuisance anymore, but you also knew he wouldn’t accept your feelings, and as hard as that might be, you decided to keep your feelings to yourself and treasure the relationship you currently had with him.

The demon was tougher than you two expected, even with a pillar there you were having a hard time killing him. Three women had already lost their life to his rampage, you needed to do something.

Since he seemed to like killing women, you were trying to devise a plan to lure him in and give Iguro time to cut his head off, but your head turned blank when you saw the demon sneaking behind Iguro and about to stab him right through the heart.

Panic surged through your body, inhuman speed possessing you as you rushed to his aid, receiving the blow instead.

Iguro saw it all in slow motion, how you fell to the ground, covered in blood, how the wound had pierced a vital organ dooming your recovery. His rage served as the means necessary to cut the demon’s head and send him to oblivion. But the cut was too deep, he didn’t know how to help you.

You could barely keep your eyes open when he gathered you to his chest, tears unexpectedly coming down his face slowly, one after the other, “(Y/N), no, why? Why?? You’re so stupid, how many times have I told you I’m stronger than you? I can take a blow like that! But you….just look at you….why, just why would you do this…?” your hand reached over to his face wrappings, undoing them so you got to see a glimpse of his face one last time.

“Because I love you. I couldn’t just let you die Iguro-san...” his hand came over to stop yours from fully removing the wraps, his entire being too shaken by the situation to comprehend your words.

“C’mon…let me see your beautiful face one last time…I don’t have much left…” your soft smile and trembling hand made him forgo his stubbornness, letting you remove the wraps.

“Thank you for letting me be your Tusuguko…even when you didn’t like me.” you chuckled slightly, coughing out blood while doing so, alerting Iguro and making him tighten his grip around your faint body. “I know you don’t like your face, but I will always think of it as the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. I hope you felt loved while being around me, even if it was just a little…” he nodded, collapsing to the ground fully with you in his arms. He really liked Mitsuri, everyone knew about this, but you had loved him like no one else had, openly, abundantly, and he couldn’t give you any of it back.

“Would you…remember me…?”

“Of course I will, what are you saying…you’re my only Tsuguko, I will never have another one, the techniques will die with us…” nuzzling his chest, you gave one last shaky breath, “Thank you…Igu-….” Leaving this world in the hands of a loved one has no price, makes time living among others worthwhile.

With a smile on his teary face, he bid goodbye to his only apprentice, the woman that loved him to her own demise.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The serpent state was never to be the same and he made sure of it.

He made everyone leave and remained there on his own, never taking another Tsuguko as he promised he would.

He likes Mitsuri, everybody knows that, even her, and he did till his very last breath, but he always carried with him the load you left him, the unshared feelings, the overwhelming amount of love you had towards him and Kaburamaru and always lived within him, being his companions until his arrival in the afterlife.

▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄▀▄

Masterlist

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minaramen · 1 year

Text

Haruka Isumi - 16 Idol Album - Part 1: 16 Idol Album

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

[Disclaimer: I’m NOT a professional translator. I’m using my knowledge from 4 years of university. Please, feel free to let me know if you notice mistranslation/typo/error of any kind]

***

Touma: Fuu… we have two whole hours before recording

Haruka: Yes, and even if we have a cake here it won’t take more than 30 minutes

Touma: Haru, look! A new video is out!

Haruka: Mh? What video?

Touma: Look! A puppy

Haruka: Ah! The account you follow

Touma: Yes! This time the video is called “Sleepyhead puppy who doesn’t want to get out of its owner’s bed”

Touma: Ah, I can’t believe it! It’s curling up under the futon! It looks so sleepy!

Haruka: It’s so cute…

Haruka: But, wait. It’s getting really big! Was it really this size…?

Touma: Puppies grow up in the blink of an eye. It’s already perfect at sitting up and giving the paw! Amazing, isn’t it?

Haruka: Ahaha, why are you so proud?

Touma: It’s just that I’ve been watching it grow up from the very beginning, so I feel somehow like a parent, you know…

Haruka: Humph, I watch these videos from time to time, so I must feel somehow like a relative…

Haruka: Oh, it’s stretching while yawning…!

Haruka&Touma: So cute…

Yamato: What are you looking at?

Haruka&Touma: Wah!?!

Nagi: Hello, Isumi shi, Inumaru shi

Touma: You scared me… ! N-nice to see you…

Haruka: Nice to see you. Are you here to have a cake too?

Yamato: I’m not sure if we’re going for a cake, but we have some spare time and so we came here. Then we saw a couple of guys sitting head to head in quite a friendly way and we came to say hi

Nagi: I’ve heard rumors about ŹOOĻ being very close and happy lately, but I had no idea you were close enough to be cheek to cheek

Haruka: T-that’s not true..! We were just watching a video, that’s it! Also, what rumors are you talking about?!

Yamato: You don’t need to feel embarrassed. There was a heartwarming atmosphere between the two of you, it was kinda good

Nagi: Yes! You looked very happy

Haruka: That’s… that’s because the puppy we were watching was cute! Touma, say something!

Touma: Well, it’s true we’re getting along lately. There’s no reason to deny it

Haruka: W-what are you saying?! Aren’t you ashamed?!

Touma: I’m not ashamed at all! On the contrary, I’m happy

Haruka: B-but…well…it’s not that I’m not happy, but…

Yamato: How heartwarming

Nagi: Indeed

Haruka: Okay, enough talking about us!

Touma: Ahah! If you watch this video too you’ll understand why we were sitting like that

Nagi: Oh, that’s a pomeranian! I think I’ve seen it somewhere

Yamato: Isn’t it the same dog Riku was watching at the dormitory? He said Inumaru recommended him these videos

Yamato: He said that it’s very cute when its owner is glad, because he happily wags its tail

Touma: Ah, yes! We’ve watched these videos on the job lately, I recommended them to Riku

Touma: It’s so cute when it narrows its eyes as it gets petted… look!

Everybody: So cute…

Touma: Hey, don’t you think it looks like Haru?

Haruka: Mh? What do you mean?

Touma: I mean, the eyes, the hairstyle… the performances too. It gives a similar atmosphere

Yamato: Ah, got it. Its big eyes and strong temperament

Nagi: Yes, and the fluffy hairstyle is also similar

Haruka: Really…? I don’t see it…

Touma: You resemble it especially when you’re laughing! I’m going to make some funny faces now, you try to laugh

Haruka: Funny faces? It doesn’t make me laugh at a-…

Touma: Look!

Haruka: Uh…ahahah! How can your eyes get so wrinkled?

Touma: I knew it! You really look like it!

Yamato: Aah, I get it

Haruka: T-that much…? Wait, the face you made was a low blow, Touma!

Touma: Eheh, it’s my absolute special face. It made Mina laugh as well

Nagi: Oh, if we’re talking about funny faces our leader is as good as yours

Yamato: Hey, don’t talk nonsense!

Nagi: Okay, Yamato, go with your funny face! 3, 2, 1….

Yamato:...mh!

Nagi&Haruka&Touma: Ahaha..:!

Nagi: Yamato, you’ve really got an ace up your sleeve!

Yamato: You asked me to do it!

Touma: Amazing, your eyes were wrinkled and crossed! So funny!

Haruka: By the way, I don’t really remember the reason why we ended up confronting our funny faces

Yamato: We’re not doing anything like that

Touma: Because we were saying you look like this puppy when you laugh

Haruka: Ah, you’re right. Well, I like puppies in general, but I guess it’s complicated

Nagi: Complicated?

Haruka: A puppy really loves its owners, doesn’t it? It’s written right in its expressions and gestures and comes directly from their heart

Haruka: But its owner’s love is not only for it. They probably have other pets, friends and family and things like that… things that are more important than the puppy

Haruka: Even if the owner is the puppy’s whole world. Maybe they will just throw the puppy away, when they don’t need it anymore…

Haruka: When I think about that I can’t really watch the puppy with an open heart, even if I find it cute. That’s why…it’s complicated

Touma:... you’re really kind, Haru

Haruka: What?

Touma: We’re talking about a dog you didn’t even meet before, and you didn’t just say how cute and lovable it is… you though a lot about its feelings

Haruka: Well, yes. Once it grows up it appearance will change, but you should keep on caring for it anyway

Haruka: I wonder how many people in the world would keep on loving even when things change… even if things change a lot

Yamato:... I understand. Once you welcome somebody in your life, you’re ready to be with them forever

Yamato: It’s pretty sad to love somebody and feel that they don’t love you back

Nagi:...and still, it can’t help feeling love. Human beings are creatures who needs to rely on somebody too

Nagi: Also, sometimes people understand this love and love unites them

Haruka: Mh…?

Nagi: It happened to me when I met Idolish7. And I guess the same thing happened to you when you met ŹOOĻ

Haruka:...yes…. Yes, it’s true

Haruka: In the past, when I loved somebody, I wanted to be loved back. I’ve always been looking for that place, and now I found it

Haruka: It must be the same for this puppy and its owner. The lively faces they make are because they care for each other

Haruka: I think I can look at this puppy in another way, now

End of part 1

TL Notes:

I know Touma comes first chronologically, but I noticed that Haruka was the only 16 Idol Album Card nobody had translated yet :) I'm still planning to cover the whole project tho!

#zool #idolish7 #haruka isumi #idolish7translation

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