#everyone can learn something from the way he thought of things

[liahaslosthermind]

~ 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝑳𝒐𝒔𝒔 ~

(Past) Rhysand x OC, (Eventual) Azriel x OC Part 2 of Betrayal

Summary: He was out of his mind with grief. Azriel had been through his fair share of trauma. He had seen and done horrific things, but that was always with Adelaide by his side. Now, he didn't know what to do, and he was losing it. Warnings: Suicidal thoughts and ideology, Death of a loved one, grief, Hurt/No Comfort

His limbs ached as he stood up from his chair. He had been sitting there so long that walking felt much harder than it usually did.

He rubbed the haze from his eyes while walking to the door, the incessant knocking making his headache worse.

"Fuck, Az. You look- how do you- do you want me to..." Cassian stood in front of his brother, a man he'd known for 500 years, and didn't recognize the person he saw.

It had been the first time in almost 2 months that Cassian's knocks were answered. He had come to her room, everyday, multiple times a day, to plead with his brother to talk to him, to eat something, to just let Cassian look at him so he could see he was alive.

Azriel said nothing as he turned around and went back to the chair he had been occupying. Cassian closed the door behind him as he took in the room.

It was the same as it had been the day she left. Even though this had been the place Azriel spent most of his days, the Shadowsinger had kept it all the same, only touching her bed that he would sleep in the nights he could stomach it, or the chair he was currently in now.

A mess of papers on the desk brought tears to Cassian's eyes. Adelaide, sweet and caring Adelaide, had been making a list of Solstice gifts for her family when she was called to join some of the Inner Circle on a meeting all those months ago. A meeting that had been a trap for them. A meeting that ended up taking her life.

Azriel cleared his throat when Cassian went to pick up a piece of paper. He had tried to hard to keep her room clean while also not disturbing things from the spot she had put them in.

"Nesta told me that her and Elaine have been leaving you food but it remains untouched."

"Is there a question, brother?" Azriel asked. His voice had always been rough, and he had always been more on the quiet side, but Cassian could tell that because of lack of use, it hurt him to speak.

"Why aren't you eating? How can we get you to? I would do anything, Az." he pleaded.

The spymaster didn't answer.

"Whats the end goal? Believe me, if you want 1,000 years to mourn her, I will be with you every step of the way. I've tried to give you space, but you are killing yourself! You sit in here all day, only coming out when everyone is asleep or gone. What do you need to care about your life again?"

He was met with a distracted look from Azriel.

His brother was never distracted. He was never careless. He hadn't missed a day of training for no reason in hundreds of years. Cassian knew he still trained every once in a while, but Azriel always found times to do it when no one else was around.

Azriel didn't have an answer for Cassian, at least not one he would like.

How could I care for my life when her's is over? he thought. By the desperate look on Cassian's face, he could tell his brother knew the answer.

"I lost her too. I know it was different with the two of you, you were each others'... person, but she was as much my sister as you are my brother. I didn't... I didn't even get to say goodbye." Cassian finally broke at the confession. He hadn't let himself think about it, he had to keep himself together for Azriel. "The last time I talked to her, we where fighting over food. She stole the slice of cake I had saved for myself, I called her an inconvenience and a burden, she called me a spoiled bat who needs to learn to share." He let out a bittersweet laugh at the memory. They were usually at each others' throats, and when they weren't, they were teamed up to annoy someone else in their family. But they loved each other, always were there for one another, except in the end, when it mattered most.

"24 hours later, I was picking out the sarcophagus my sister was going to be laid in. I would have let her have all of my leftovers, all of my desert, if it meant I just got one last conversation with her." Choking up, Cassian sank to the floor, a wave of familiar grief washing over him.

Azriel joined him, crying as he hugged his brother.

The two illyrians, sat like that for a while. Long after their tears had dried, long after the sun had gone down, Cassian finally spoke up.

"Why don't you go see her? Visiting helps me, talking to her even though I know she can't hear is something I do often."

In truth, Azriel hadn't gone to his best friend's mausoleum since the funeral. He couldn't see her like that, couldn't come to terms with it.

These past 6 months had been dark. Everyone was mourning her, many of the people of Velaris included, but none more than Azriel. Part of him had died, laid in the cold marble box that held her body. For the first few months, he had completely disconnected from reality. He went on with his daily routine, he trained, ate, went on missions, did paperwork, slept. But it was as it he was on autopilot, as if the real Azriel had been asleep that whole time.

Two months ago, he woke up. It was sudden, he had gone to his room for the first time in a while to grab some books that had been long overdo at the library, and the priestesses had kindly told him if they didn't get them back he would be banned for life.

Thats when he saw the blanket on the chair by his desk. She had given it to him over a century ago. It was a birthday present, a wool blanket that was enchanted to smell like her always. She had played it off as a self centered gift, so he doesn't forget about his favorite person while away on missions, in front of their friends, but Azriel knew it wasn't that. Adelaide had always been a master gift giver, and she also knew Azriel had trouble sleeping most nights, but he never had any problems falling asleep on the couch next to her after a long night of conversations, wrapped comfortably in her own wool blanket.

He hadn't slept without it till the night she died.

Then, he picked it up, trying to see if the enchantment still worked. And that was all it took for him to wake up. It was awful, every bad feeling he had been too far disassociated to feel hit him at once. He curled up on the floor with the blanket wrapped around his hands and stayed there for days, silent tears never ceasing to fall.

After getting yelled at by Madja, who Nesta had called to knock some sense into him, he got up and went to her room, where he remained most of his days.

He sat in the chair in the corner of the room, only eating to quiet his stomach, and tried as hard as he could to detach himself from the never ending agony that was his life now.

He told Cas he would see her, the general's face lighting up at the news.

He felt guilty, making Cassian so happy for something he knew would later destroy him.

Hours after Cassian had left the room, as the sun came up, Azriel went to his room to grab the blanket he hadn't touched in 2 months. Then he grabbed Truth Teller, wrote his final request, and went to see Adelaide.

The building was large, and beautifully constructed. He would have been happy that she had a resting place deserving of her, but he knew Rhysand only spent that much money and made it this beautiful to try and lighten the guilt he felt.

The Shadowsinger stopped by the entrance, the sarcophagus without a lid placed up on the platform.

Before the funeral, Helion had come to place a enchantment on her body that would keep it preserved.

It had been a show of good will, Adelaide had been head of the Night Court's scholarly texts, education, and research. The two had met to have academic conversations at least once every few months for decades.

But as Azriel looked down at her, it felt like a cruel punishment from Helion.

6 months later, she was still as beautiful as she was the last time he saw her, and she was still just as dead.

This was where he would remain, his final request was to be laid to rest in the same building. He would be adding unnecessary pain onto his loved ones who had suffered so much already, but for the first time in his life, Azriel had decided to put himself in front of his family.

Looking her over one last time, he realized he was now completely numb.

Azriel held the gifted blanket and went to take off the one she currently had. Based off the fact it seemed to have been picked out with meticulous care to match Adelaide's coloring, and her outfit, there was no doubt it had been placed their by Mor.

On her lap, previously being covered by the blanket, laid a large and very old book.

Had one of the scholars she worked with placed it? One of the educators?

Strange marks littered the cover, but no title. Not till he opened the first page did he see what it was.

The Walking Dead

A cruel pick. Who would ever leave such a book with a corpse?

The second page was blank, so was the third, so was the fourth. Thumbing through the book, Azriel just about gave up looking at the blank pages when he finally found one with writing.

It seemed to be a poem, but it was formatted too strangely.

The title at the top read Eternally Intertwined.

A spell.

He almost dropped the book at the realization.

No one had left this book, it had been fate that had given it to him, kept it here waiting for him to stumble upon it.

He knew what he needed to do.

[sugar-crash]

🍬King Candy (Wreck-It Ralph) x (gn) Reader👑

(Beginning Relationship Pt. I Edition!)

(I thought this song would be fitting considering King Candy’s voice is based on the vocal performance Ed Wynn did for the Mad Hatter… That and its… Nostalgic🔑 [I saw the animation meme culture rise and fall.] lol)

- So, as we all know, the more unpleasant parts of his personality (which could tie him to Turbo) are suppressed, and hidden, though they can still peak out when he’s feeling particularly malicious.

- He’s a slime, a real manipulative rat who’s so sure he can keep everyone in the dark, who takes it slow with you at first to try to maintain his hard work.

- There’s a clear wall between what he displays in front of others and how he is, just the way he likes it, but honestly— If you mean so much to him, you get a weird mix of the two (well, more than usual), a kind of sweet goofiness that’s followed up with a snide remark about being the most skilled in some specific topic.

- Again he’s not the best lover, though from his previous indiscretions he has learned to be more open to others feelings— But only for your sake, mostly cause he can’t stand anyone else besides you…. And Sour Bill sometimes, but he’s mostly the personification of a minimum wage worker.

- Spending time together after hours is a must, though he’s more understanding now than he was before, not demanding every moment of your time but relishing whenever you do.

- I think all that time alone before Sugar Rush got plugged in made him lonely, and less stubborn to admit that he wants that comfort from someone else.

- I don’t think it’s much of a far reach when I say maintaining the King Candy persona is something he is very fluid in, but it’s exhausting at times.

- When he gets that seldom time alone without any of his kingly duties he finds himself yearning for your comforting touch, that stubbornness making way as he makes Sour Bill retrieve you.

- I can see moments between the two of you to be on the tamer side, not as many arguments like Pre-RoadBlasters, little to none really, but there are these tense moments where you ask him something a little too close to home and he becomes stiff in your arms if only for a brief moment.

- As much as he wants to be, not only for himself but maybe even you— He isn’t perfect, he isn’t the person he tries so hard to be, that gleeful and peppy voice going flat the second he isn’t feeling it anymore.

- It becomes apparent the more you know him he’s far more serious than he lets on, puffing his chest up slightly when things don’t go his way and he has to play dirty, which he’s certainly no stranger to...

- In comparison to himself when the arcade first ever opened, he’s certainly grown from that childish hatred, for better and for worse.

- He’s more affectionate for one, providing you with comfort fitting to how you are feeling at that moment, little compliments, and gestures of affection to quell your anger and anxiety in a matter of seconds.

- Quick to learn every little thing about you to make sure he’s able to relate to you, though his intentions with this information go back and forth.

- He wants everything on a silver platter, not only for himself but also for you, making the other subjects of Sugar Rush bend over backward for you, even when you object to all the attention.

- I think one of the ways he dotes on you in a way is date planning, various areas in Sugar Rush vary which can be very nice date spots… He seems like the picnic blanket and tea liker as King Candy, as stereotypical as that is lol.

- Though if that isn’t your style, he can always do dates at the castle, like baking— chatting the night away, it’s the simple things in life <3

- Even with his character growth he is far from a good person, which we all know and love for the most part. He’s fully aware that the things he does to bar you, Venallope, the Sugar Rush inhabitants, and even the arcade entirely is cruel, spiteful even. But what could he have done? Let himself fade into obscurity and be characterized after one of his biggest mistakes?

- No, no, not when he still has so much to provide— He’s a person, just like everyone else, better yet he was programmed to be better. Why should he stand aside and let the world spin without him? Why should he look at you from afar when he has every right to want you?

- That’s part of the reason why he’s so adamant about keeping his spot as the monarch of Sugar Rush, he’s the rightful ruler after all.

(Cr cqh’r lncp, hjw cq cr?)

[sitp-recs]

Between the Power Lines by @tackytigerfic (M, 3k)

For Harry Potter, all roads eventually lead to Draco Malfoy. Or: this is not an AU! It's just Harry and Draco meeting by chance in an imported food shop in Connecticut and going on a road trip together. Featuring motels, cacti, Americana, and a hefty dose of pining.

In New Orleans, they got drunk on Bourbon Street, and Malfoy danced on his own (arms bare, laughing; Harry could have watched him all night) and later on, so late it was almost morning, they let themselves into the St Louis Cemetery—Malfoy unpicking the lock so sweetly—and walked around until the sky was pink-edged with the promise of another day’s heat. Then they sat on the steps of a crypt, watched over by sightless eyes of the statue of an angel. She looked exhausted rather than sad, Harry thought, and that made a lot of sense when he thought about his own longstanding, dull-edged grief.

It’s been ages (or 2 years) since I last wrote a rec for Tacky (I usually write for other readers, except when I’m reccing friends - then I write for them) and their birthday was the perfect excuse to put my reccing muscles back to work. I almost bailed out because I know this is one of T’s own faves and “what if I don’t do it justice?” but that tired angel banner has been sitting in my drafts for 3 long years and it deserves a proper rec!

Where to even begin? Anyone who knows Tacky is aware of their superb prose - rich and nuanced, compassionate, effortlessly funny, with a strong sense of place and a soft spot for suds scenes and filthy m-rated sex I mean devastating romance. Their writing breathes heart and personality, very much like Tacky themself. So knowing that this fic came out exactly as they intended it to should be enough to make you go read this right now, but in case you need further incentive, see below all the reasons why this oneshot is so special to me:

1. The *vibes*: if you thought that 3k is nowhere near enough to build the sexiest, most intriguing Americana atmosphere you’ve seen, think again. The aesthetics are impeccable here, decorating the beautiful and strange landscape - cacti and cheap motels included - into something peaceful and desolate, an overarching melancholy making it even more compelling. The dialogue is brilliant but the silences are just as loud and meaningful, with a quiet intimacy and a dreamlike quality that make you feel as if you're intruding a memory.

2. The romance: at this point everyone and their dog know that pining!Harry is Tacky's jam - they luxuriate in making us all suffer with him until the realization that Draco has been loving him back all along slaps us in the face. Harry is so stupid and desperate and wanton, I love it. And the way Tacky reinvents this delicious trope to make it work in new angsty ways blows my mind. Imo the slow burn is particularly effective here, a feat in any 3k story, because the narrative gives us so much character insight. We learn all the little things that make these two lonely boys tick as we watch their ever-changing perception of each other evolve from a tentative truce to reluctant confidants to a comfortable, easy love that comes naturally and earned. We often get those bits of information from imagery and emotions alone, no dialogue needed, and a road trip is the best way to explore those dynamics in a smooth, unhurried pace.

3. The journey: this is truly an immersive journey, not only physical as we keep jumping from one destination to the next, but also emotional, as we learn more about their vulnerabilities and desires the more they gravitate towards each other. This story shows that being far away from home can be both freeing and grounding, when you’re stuck with your hot enemy someone who knows about your darkest hour. It gives you the chance to heal and visualize a different future without forgetting your past or letting go of that which has shaped who you are. I love their chance encounter and how this poignant 30k love story is told in such impressive economy of words.

TL;DR: if you’re a short form fan and prone to melancholy like me believe me when I say it doesn’t get any better than this. The whole road trip shebang mixing grief, romance and nostalgia wrapped in Tacky’s lush writing is a gift to any reader and an elegant work of art. Enjoy!!!

[circeyoru]

Collection of Overlords _ Epilogue = Requested

[Alastor x Soul Owner of All Overlords!Reader]

Part 1 — Part 1.5 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5 — Part 6 — Part 7 — Part 8 — Part 9  — Part 10 — Part 11 — Part 12 — Part 13 — Part 14 — Part 15 — Part 16 — Epilogue (here)

Charlie’s face grimanced as she watched Alastor and Husk at your services whenever. Even Angel was comfortable around you now. Her stare shy away the moment your head turned to her direction, even though your eyes were closed, she could feel that she made eye contract with you. You gave her the same soft and gentle smile with a nod, she nodded back but her eyes lips pressed to a tight line. 

She moved when she heard the lift ding to signal its arrival, she got in and pressed her desired floor, looking out as the doors closed at the press of a button. Her eyes met yours as the doors slowly closed like time was slowed or paused, the longest wait of her life was this. You maintained your stared until your attention was called away and Charlie immediately let out a sigh of relief. 

The dear princess steadied herself, she has to do something. She was the one that brought along this hotel, she was the one that brought along all her friends, she was the one that survived that hellish experience with the exterminators. So why was it that the moment you arrived that she felt a change? Saw a change.

She knew she wasn’t enough, that there was more to do as the Princess of Hell. She lacked so much that her people hardly see her as the Princess, the heir to the throne. When she saw your commanding presence in action, she thought she could learn from you. Yet, she found herself unable to get close to you. 

She saw how Alastor was always with you, treating you in a way that was never shown before your arrival. She saw how Husk was more actively attentive without that sharp edge in his tone and words. She saw how Angel was more respectful and mindful of his words and actions, being more open and kinder like a cageless bird. She saw how Vaggie was less angry and tense, even with new guest, also having at least a small smile on her face. She also saw how much more cheerful her father, Lucifer, was after your arrival.

And Niffty was Niffty but more tamed, if one could believe it.

These were all things she wanted to do, things she was aiming to help them change. Granted, she knew it’d take some time to achieve, but that’s what the journey will teach them, that things take time to change. She just can’t understand how you brought along this change in the short amount of time you were here. She saw what you have accomplished without even trying to be impossible. A miracle.

“Dad, you got some time?” Charlie knocked on the door to Lucifer’s workshop, another renovation that you granted to her hotel along with a few other special rooms after your identity was revealed by Lucifer. “Can we talk?”

Charlie flinched as she heard stuff fall and crash behind the door, then she could make out her father stumbling to the door before it opened and Lucifer was standing there with an awkward but excited smile, “Charlie! Of course! Come in, come in.” Lucifer moved to the side to let his daughter enter and closed the door behind her, “Weird that you’re free to chat. Ah, not that I’m not happy or bu- I mean, don’t you usually have some friendship or moral class now?”

“Uh… Well, The Coll- Silver offered for a day off for me since I’ve been working too hard and everyone else agreed. Husk’s teaching everyone to be careful for themselves and others, you know, like lies and tricks?” Charlie felt like she was choking as she admitted that, it was like she was slacking off, like her purpose was being taken from her.

Lucifer sighed, bringing Charlie to sit down at a tea table and sat down himself. With a snap of his fingers, drinks and snacks appeared on the table. He pushed a cup to Charlie before sipping on one himself. His smile dropped as he noticed the obvious frown on her face. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Why are there so many changes after Silver came to the hotel?” Charlie blurted out, Lucifer blinked before getting to respond or given the chance to, Charlie continued, “Not that the changes are bad, but they are the changes I thought I can do it with time. Hell’s my home, this hotel and everyone here is my family and friends, I thought… I thought I can finally pull my weight and help… You know, do my part and be the Princess of Hell.”

“Charlie, you need to understand.” Lucifer got up and went to her, kneeling down so that he was looking up at her, “The throne was never ours.”

The princess gasped. “Then why—”

“We’re only given the title. It means nothing to anyone other than the Sinners.” Lucifer explained, “You never been to the other Rings, but there, you’d be no more than a minor significant figure. We only manage the Sinners, the souls sent to Hell after death, we’re the King and Princess of Sinners. Not of Hell.”

“Then who…”

“Charlie, you’re important to me and I know redemption and this hotel is important to you. But like I told you before, you can’t protect anything without power and authority, you can’t change anything with those as well.” Lucifer got up and opened his six wings, “We’re given this title to protect ourselves, Lilith and I, it never extended to you because you were never there in the beginning when the words were spoken. It was never agreed that our place will be taken over by an heir.”

Charlie got up, feeling like everything was being taken away from her, “So what. Am I nothing now? I can’t amount to anything?”

Lucifer held her hands in his, giving her an encouraging smile, “No. I never mean that. All these changes you’re seeing means potential and interest in rising you to be the next Queen. Teacher doesn’t throw away anyone.” He chuckled, “I had nothing when I came here, Lilith too, but Teach gave us so much. Teach is also giving you so much too. Where this hotel is built, this land was untouched the moment you were born. Until you said to move out, this land is yours.”

Charlie blinked, her heart ached as her eyes pooled up, “Then I’m not being thrown away? I’m not..”

“Never. Everything Teach may be, Teach isn’t pure evil. Otherwise,” Lucifer smiled brightly, “We’d all be dead where we stand.”

Charlie chuckled along, but then froze, “Wait, but then, that means Silver’s the real… Oh my… But you tell me all this, aren’t you in—?!”

Lucifer patted Charlie’s hands, “These are secrets meant for your ears now, Teach said when you ask then I can tell, it was time you knew. Because more challenges will be coming for you in the future.”

.

.

.

“The Princess is ready for her test. For this stage, it’s vital for her to grow. To do that, we need some friction. Between the hotel and the new Overlords.” You turned to the three kneeling Overloards behind you. “The former Vees and Alastor. Your history with each other, Vox and Alastor, would be of great help.”

Alastor, Vox and Velvette all raised their heads as they meet your attention.

“I won’t disappoint, My Sovereign.”

“I’ll do as you command, My Sovereign.”

“Everything will be as you wish, My Liege.”

Note: Okay. This is really really the final part. Say bye bye to this series everyone. I have no idea if it will continue when Season 2 is up cause of all the changes I did for this series. Thanks for sticking by this story till the end everyone.

Circe Y. 

My Works: MASTERLIST

Taglist: (those that don't specify to being in all the works' taglist will automatically be assumed to be in whichever series they comment on)

@aconfusedwonderland @crowleysthings @donustellaron @mistpurpl3 @lucifers-silhouette @fluffy-koalala @snowy-violet @charlottesskiss @plutobots @ray-rook @thealienartist @serenity-songbird @galaxydreamer468 @raynerrold @wen01203 @hikari-michiko @colecreo @myromanempiree @xsamkuro @yourdoorisunlocked @clavelina @jono723 @cursedcattalastor @an-idyllic-novelist @flamiohotman2024 @rea-grace @myromanempiree @veroneverleft @lousypotatoes @crazysuityouth @jellyedkazoo @wat4r @kiraisastay @thealienartist @chefysawesomeideas @wtvbabes @patronizingbitch @koshi-kazu @craftyperfectiontragedy @scr4luv @chrollobb @mysterypotatoink @callmefe @dokukg69 @ratchetprime211 @freejayde @prettyprincess-ily @cgmajor @mook14 @ace-spades-1 @yuuandtheghost @abbiesxox @martinys-world @kiraisastay @umbreon-worshipper @crimsonflameproxy @the-gay-trash-gremlin @ratchetprime211 @soggyb0nes @newkatzkafe2023

[throneofsapphics]

the moth and the flame part 10: the storms

poly!Nessian x f!Reader

summary: after meeting Nesta in a bookshop, you find the darkest parts of yourselves bonding with each other. Naturally, Cassian finds himself entangled with the two of you.

warnings: angst

Something settled in Cassian the moment you walked out the door. The realization of his love for you was one, as well as the acknowledgment of what he needed to do. It wasn’t working, and it hadn’t been working for a while. He’d talk to Nesta first but ... he needed out. 

It hurt him, a knife twisting deep in his gut that would leave a permanent wound, but he knew it was for the best for everyone. Part of him hoped you’d be able to convince him otherwise, that you’d try to, but another, stronger, part of him knew that wasn’t fair at all to expect of you. 

Did the existence of that part mean things could actually work out? He shook his head, it was a part, not the whole. 

“I was just giving her a head start,” he told Nesta, pulling on his clothes, “but I'm not letting her wander out there alone.” 

“I’ll stay here in case she comes back,” he received as a reply. It was good enough. 

Moving on silent feet, he clicked your door closed before jumping down the landing, making his way out into the night. He was airborne in seconds, flying how he was taught to when he wanted to stay hidden. 

Cloud cover helped keep him hidden, didn't help as much finding you, but he still managed to track you down with little difficulty. Crossing one of the bridges in Velaris, your feel still bare, shirt falling off one shoulder, you paused and gripped the railing. 

Fear spiked, instinct had him sweeping in, landing quietly next to you, wrapping an arm around your waist to tether you to the cobblestone. You tensed beneath his grip like you never had before. It felt like another sign. 

“I wasn’t going to jump,” you hissed at him, slipping away from his hold. His grip tightened for a second before he remembered, letting you go, and loosened. Cassian could’ve sworn you almost seemed disappointed, but he knew better. 

You’d run out on them, something was wrong and his touch might be the last thing you wanted right now. It was wrong of him to grab you like that. Fuck. He took a step to the side. 

“How are you?” He cleared his throat, dropping his arm, and one hand brushing some of the windswept strands from his face, he hadn’t taken the time to tie his hair up. Hadn’t had the time to care with you out there alone. 

“Fine,” you said through pursed lips. Not fine, then. He’d learned that much from his time with both you and Nesta. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

“Not particularly.” 

“What do you need?” 

“Silence,” you snapped at him. “Solitude.” The animosity rolling from you made him want to laugh, but even he knew that would be the wrong move. A cornered kitten still had sharp teeth, and it’s less afraid to bite. 

“I can give you one of the two,” he grinned, white teeth flashing in the night. It was cute, really, that you thought he’d leave you alone when you were vulnerable. Current feelings or not, the most important thing to him was that he cared for you, and Cassian didn’t abandon the people he cared about. The two of you were out there half the night. 

-

Cassian was adorable, that was true, but right now he was driving you a little bit crazy. You’d left because you wanted to be alone, without any overbearing males and females, because the room had felt too much and everything too overwhelming. The affection coming from him had felt like a gift you didn’t deserve, and being here with him now only solidified the earlier guilt you were feeling. 

You heard the boom of thunder, just a second before the rain rolled in. Fat droplets of water splashed against your cheeks, soaking your already thin clothing instantly. When Cassian wrapped his arm around your waist this time, you didn’t fight him, you let him tuck you into his side and give you that small bit of shelter and comfort. Really, he blocked some of the rain, you told yourself. It was only practical. You’d be outside half the night, anyway. 

The thunderstorm should’ve been an omen, your love-addled mind found it romantic. 

You saw both of them quicker than you were used to, just two days later compared to the typical week between seeing them together. 

They insisted on making dinner, a pasta dish that was your favorite. They should’ve known better than to ruin another good thing for you. 

“It’s not working,” Nesta said, too soft and gentle. 

Cassian cut her a sharp look, but she didn’t turn her attention away from you. 

Bile rose in your throat, your stomach clenching. This was a break up. 

Tears, traitorous and horrible tears, pricked at the corners of your eyes, with angry fisted hands you brushed them away. 

“Why not do this months ago?” You asked. 

“Oh, when you would’ve killed yourself?” Nesta snapped at you. There it was, you preferred the venom over the sickening sweetness and mock concern. Sure, it might be genuine concern, but right now you needed a villain and they were the easiest targets. 

“What makes you think I won’t now?” You snapped back. At their twin looks of horror, you scoffed. “I’m not giving you that satisfaction, don’t worry.” And you’d put in too much work to throw it away for them. 

“It wouldn’t be satisfying,” Cassian said. 

“Good to know you’re still a bitch,” Nesta said, teeth clenched. 

You shoved your chair back, standing. They copied you. “You can leave,” You used a fork to point towards the door, then let it clatter back onto the plate. It sounded like a clash of swords, a battle of wills and wits. It echoed the sentiment in the room. For several moments, the three of you looked at each other in that tense silence, hazel and grey-blue eyes meeting your own, you were forced to dart back and forth between the two of them. It was a battle, and you had losing numbers. 

Later, you wouldn’t be able to recall how they ended up in your bed. It was heaven and hell. 

Nesta’s teeth nipping harshly where your neck and shoulder met, Cassian’s teeth digging into your inner thigh. His tongue flicking against your clit, hers against your nipple. Each hand, mouth, and attention all focused on you, as if you were, just for the night, still the axis of their worlds - it was a beautiful lie - and at the end of the night you slept poorly, aware of the sounds of people moving around in the middle of the night, the next morning you woke to an empty bed. 

And a world of new, soul shredding pain. 

-

general taglist: @rowaelinsdaughter @bookishbroadwaybish @nestaismommy @erencvlt @book-obsessed124 @callsigns-haze

acotar taglist: @lilah-asteria @yeonalie @I-am-a-lost-girl16

series taglist: @breadsticks2004 @shamelessdonutkryptonite @rowaelinsdaughter @fightmedraco @acourtofbatboydreams @readinggeeklmao @krowiathemythologynerd @kooterz @anxious-study @lilah-asteria @nestaismommy

[hedgiwithapen]

Hakoka learns how Zuko got his scar (am I having feels about yet another parallel in this show? why yes I am)

Somehow, the house on the edge of the Earth Kingdom that they’ve all hunkered down in for the last week while salvage and transport are arranged is more tense with the war ended. Zuko can’t begin to understand why. Sleeping in real beds--soft ones, with feather mattresses and blankets that don't stink of sweat and smoke-- and having a real kitchen to work with, the looming threat of the end of the world off their shoulders should put everyone more at ease. 

Hakoda sits at the table, his chopsticks gathering up the last of his fish and rice, and smiles at his children who sit opposite him. "I am so proud of you," he says, and Zuko's heart clenches with jealousy he's sworn to never voice. 

It's a scene from the ending of a play, peace and harmony restored in the wider world paralleled in a family unified, Zuko thinks.

Instead of a curtain closing, though, Katara throws her bowl, still half filled, at her father's head and leaves at a run.

Wordlessly, Sokka takes off after her, and Aang looks torn, mumbling something about checking on Appa.

Hakoda looks at Zuko, and winces. Zuko's hand goes for a sword he isn't wearing before he reminds himself that Katara's a powerful bender. She can win. She doesn't need him coming to her defense. Diplomacy's always worth a shot, though.

"She's just exhausted," he says, hoping that from him, it won't seem like a weak excuse. 

Hakoda tilts his head, matching the way Zuko has to tilt his to get a clear view, and the corner of his mouth twitches. "It's nothing I don't deserve," he says. "I'm not exactly winning a father of the year award."

The Prince of the--the Fire Lord Presumptive-- does not gape. So Zuko keeps his mouth closed, teeth gritted hard. "Children should still respect their fathers," he says, the lesson fighting past his façade of calm. "Chief Hakoda, how can you say you deserve that?"

The Chief of the Southern Water Tribe  shakes his head. "I abandoned my children when they needed me," he says. "I left Sokka with an impossible task and I left them, in my pride. Now that they're not terrified I'll die before they see me again, they can get that out of their systems. I understand it." He starts to clean the shards of pottery from the table, wincing as a splinter of ceramic sticks his finger. The bead of blood is bright against his weathered skin. 

"You were doing what was best for your people," Zuko says. 

"My children are as much my people as anyone else," Hakoda counters. "How can someone call themselves a leader if their own children can't count on them for protection?"

"You'd be surprised," Zuko says darkly, touching the rough edge of his scar. 

Hakoda looks confused, and Zuko realizes that he doesn't know. The story didn't reach as far as he'd always thought, but still...

"I spoke against my father's general," he says. "Nearly four years ago. This was the understanding he extended to me for my disrespect."

Hakoda drops the pile of shards he's managed to gather. "That's--"

"I don't need your pity," Zuko interrupts. "You should just know you're... better than you give yourself credit for." It feels like Uncle's words, but he says them anyways.

"I see." Hakoda says, thoughtful. "Well, Zuko. I can't say that I agree with you completely. My children don't owe me anything that I don't earn from them first. But I won't say that their situation and yours are... equal." He sits back a little on his cushion, shaking his head. "Perhaps I am father of the year, and what a sad thing that would be."

"They love you," Zuko says, jutting his chin towards the doorway Katara and Sokka fled through. 

"That's all I need," Hakoda says, gathering the dish again. 

[myfairkatiecat]

nightfall was crazy, but I'm also kind of confused??? It went by sooo fast I was like WHAT? WAIT, WHAT? WAIT WAIT WAIT-

Love the fact that they went on with keefes whole "I'm not worth it, but you are, so I'm going to take over decisions we need to make (as a team) and screw them over so that they cause harm to me and not you!" Kinda vibe, honestly thought that after he came back from the neverseen in lodestar they were just going to forget about it, yk??

Only thing I really didn't like is that like...everyone has a slight distrust to keefe (at least in the start, till he apologized ) but Sophie, the person who was (in my opinion) most affected by his 'betrayal' never once had a doubt???? Like, if someone betrayed me, right? Yk they're my friend whatever whatever, ID STILL HAVE SOME KIND OF LIKE ISSUES WITH THEM???

I feel like her distrusting keefe and then slowly learning to trust him would have made the book MUUUCH better!!

Also, I'm still not getting where the Fitz discourse is coming from, like, his sibling just betrayed him, fell unconscious and WOKE UP WITH NO MEMORY OF ANYTHING?? I can see where the anger issues come from

Holy shit this was long, sorry!

-- @localburntoutkid

Had a blast reading this!

You’re so right about Keefe. That definitely doesn’t get dropped after lodestar, or even nightfall—it’s one of his character’s main flaws, and while it does shift and evolve as the series moves on, it’s kind of there, you know? And I’m really hoping it resolves in some way by the end of the series, because his arc is just… so interesting to me. Because it is NOT arc-shaped. At all.

I get what you mean about Sophie being the only one who doesn’t distrust Keefe when he comes back. I really like that too acknowledge that it’s a Sophie-specific thing, though! Too many people forget that this is a third person limited story told by an unreliable narrator, and act like Shannon Messenger herself is telling us Keefe deserves to be fully trusted. Sophie Foster decides, at the end of Neverseen, not to hate him, and Lodestar is where she has her moments of doubt and distrust, but even in Lodestar, she always believes in Keefe’s good intentions. There’s even a scene where she says something like “Yes, Keefe’s plan is horrible and I hate it, but his heart is in the right place. I have to believe that.” The part about keefe’s plan is paraphrased, but she did say she needs to believe his heart was in the right place, in that wording, and it’s fascinating to me. She’s very attatched to Keefe (obviously) and I think it’s mostly for her own sanity that she chooses over and over to believe that there’s something right about what he’s doing, because letting him go sounds excruciating, even by his own fault.

I actually have no issue with this being Sophie’s perspective, and I actually find it interesting especially in the context of sokeefe, but I wish we got to see this portion through another character’s eyes. For example, Fitz. Someone who does distrust him afterwards, and rightfully so.

As far as Fitz discourse goes, that stuff stemmed less from nightfall and more from flashback and legacy. I don’t hate Fitz in either of those books, but you’ll probably notice the moments that made people kind of go nuts about hating him and ran away with his character (personally, I think Fitz is fully understandable in both books, but don’t fully condone the way he acts in a few scenes, particularly in legacy. I’ll explain later after you’ve read it)

Don’t apologize for length, I’m literally Katie, have you met me? Everything I write is longer than I intend

I’m glad you’re having fun with the KOTLC series. Keep me updated!!!

[nevermorgue]

hello i'm asking another question

what do you think the main cast's mbti are? i don't really agree with personality database's assigned mbti, like I don't think Lenore is an ISFP, and I think Eulalie is rather extroverted to be an infp 😔

oh i’m so ass at these. Tbh the only way Id be able to confidently answer is if i took the quiz as all of them, and i’m not doing that because not only would that take ages, but it would be a pain in the ass to read for you too LOL

so let’s discuss each letter and maybe think about who fits where!

Extroversion (E) vs Introversion (I) So my definition of this is how you get your energy. Do you thrive more doing solitary activities, or do you recharge by being with people? I can see Eulalie being both, or an ambivert. She likes social gatherings/spending time with friends, but doesn't mind doing things on her own either. People like Duke thrive off other people, getting their energy from social interaction. Montresor may be a very "social", outward person, but definitely prefers leisure time on his own with nobody bothering him. So using these as examples, I'd do this: E - Duke, Berenice, Morella, Eulalie, Lenore, Ada I - Pluto, Prospero, Annabel, Montresor, Eulalie again Will is a wild card because I think he craves social interaction, but it doesn't really "energize" him. And being alone means being alone with his thoughts/feelings that he can't understand. Next: Sensing (S) vs Intuition (N)

So I’m using the MBTI website for reference here. “S is for the Sensing preference. People who have the letter S in your MBTI type tend to process things in a step-by-step linear sequence and observe and remember specific information. They also tend to focus on the facts and what can be observed via their five senses.”

“N is for the Intuition (because we already used the letter I for Introversion) and people who have a preference for Intuition generally learn by seeing the big picture and themes, and thinking about how specific information is connected.”

Using these definitions, here’s the people I think might fit with each.

Not to say that these people are incapable of intuition, it’s just how I categorize them based on how I think they naturally…well, think. Of course, everyone’s capable of doing the opposite one that I put them in. It’s not so black and white.

S - Berenice, Lenore, Eulalie, Prospero, Morella, Ada, Duke

N - Annabel, Pluto, Will, Montresor

Berenice and Lenore are more straightforward. I think they’re very similar in terms of how they carry themselves. They want to rely on their bodies and senses to perceive information. What they see, hear, taste, etc. Eulalie is the type to observe things in order and pick out specific things to focus on. Prospero is the same. Morella also likes to use her own senses to perceive, wanting to be able to connect to whatever it is using her own body. Ada does something similar to Morella, aching to connect with whatever she is perceiving and therefore by using her own senses, feels smarter. And Duke, as a performer, uses all of his senses ALL THE TIME. When on stage, he has to be aware of every single thing to avoid a mistake. The big picture is the show- he cannot afford to hyper focus on one little thing, because everything else will suffer in quality.

Annabel I put in N because she tends to overanalyze- she will look at EVERYTHING to come to a proper conclusion. Will because he has to look at every single factor in terms of studying others- he has to maneuver very carefully in general to avoid being tossed aside. Pluto is vibes tbh. Montresor I put because he’s chaos. He isn’t gonna look at something in a linear way and come to a conclusion based on facts. He’s going to jump around and pick out what interests him.

Next: Thinking (T) vs Feeling (F)

Pretty self explanatory. Decisions based on logic vs feelings.

T - Prospero, Annabel, Eulalie, Will, Duke

F - Lenore, Berenice, Pluto, Morella, Montresor, Ada

Prospero and Annabel are self explanatory. Eulalie because I think she is more of a blunt thinker. Like she’s more inclined to say something because it’s true, not because of a feeling. Will is an over thinker; his feelings don’t matter. And I think Duke is honestly a mix of both but I put him in Thinking because of his tendency to want to be perceived as someone who isn’t bothered/consistently charismatic. So he might disregard his own feelings to make a decision.

Honestly I think everyone else is self explanatory. Montresor in Feeling because he makes his decisions based on what HE wants.

And lastly, Judging (J) vs Perceiving (P)

Using the website definitions again. Judging = people who have preferences for plans, lists, structure.

Perceiving = They crave flexibility, more open minded to spontaneous decisions, make sudden decisions, more likely to do things last minute.

J - Annabel, Prospero, Pluto, Morella (but wants to be P), Will

P - Lenore, Eulalie, Berenice, Duke, Montresor, Ada

Now a lot of these are self explanatory again but I’ll explain Will’s. I think having a strict plan/everything set out in front of him puts him at ease because he knows he’s prone to messing up.

So mix and match these and I guess you get what I’d think their types are? Maybe!! This was honestly so fun so thank you!!

[fidgetspringer]

Been doing a lot of Leyendecker studies the last year, which is something I think anyone learning human anatomy should do, and I noticed something he did that really helped me out, so i'm gonna point it out real quick.

Leyendecker is a master at breaking things down into easily readable shapes, and he has a way of drawing heads that is really, really clever; the line that makes up the back of the head is parallel to the line of the forehead.

Both lines are just a sweep that mirror each other. The top of the head is either a curve connecting those lines, or a series of smaller lines that together form a curve.

Idk if this makes as much sense to anyone else as it did me, but when I spotted this it changed the way I thought of the shape of a head completely.

[found--family]

am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 

[sysig]

Size difference.png (Patreon)

[blindecho6]

Literaly me today

[vampvelvet]

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I've been doing better mentally these past few weeks and a lot of it boiled down to things people have been telling me my whole life. I mean, I had gone through traumatic events some years ago which caused depression. then I fell into a codependent friendship which has worsened my mental state. only now that I have backed out of that friendship and started to think more about myself and how I feel, did I figure out how to keep myself going well.

I found hobbies im interested in, I've been using music I adore to keep my spirits up, I've been getting outside more, getting more exercise, using my phone less, living more in the moment, diversifying my friendships, taking time for myself, etc etc etc

and seeing myself improving in these ways makes me feel optimistic, thinking, these are the things that helped me, they can help you too! it's easy to get excited about that.

but none of those things were the solution to my problem. those were parts of healing, ways to keep my rhythm, ways to give me energy when I feel like going back to what I typically do when I'm depressed.

but they weren't *the solution*. and that made me realize why only now I'm following all this advice that I had been given to me for years and years. why people get so cynical and annoyed when others try to motivate them into getting out of their depression. because staying inside, staying sedentary, overusing phones, avoiding socializing, etc- those things aren't the cause of issues, they're the *symptoms*. and when someone is in a terrible mental state they're not going to realize/notice/care about the things that they're using to cope with their lives.

I don't know what the solution is. everyone's lives are different. for me, it was getting out of a codependent friendship. I don't have the answers. but it's going to be something bigger than just 'getting out more'.

people have to see the future on their own. there are moments when people realize that they have to take their life into their own hands. nothing is easy, but things can get better.

long rant in the tags if you're interested. take care <3

[5-htagonist]

okkkk but demon king!dungeon lord!laios wherein Something Something happens and laios not only devours the lion inheriting the kingdom................ but perhaps the lions curse manifests differently too....

[snekdood]

i honestly deserved none of the shit ppl did to me that lead me to this point

[libraford]

It is possible to interact with people whom share opposing views and no this is not about pineapple on pizza. In fact, it is imperative that you learn how to be civil with some people who you may find difficult to agree with.

At work, Youngin would often tell me that the guy that trained him (Ginger) was a misogynist. I had never met Ginger, and I had very little to say on this matter. But I would ask Youngin some questions about him because I like to know the other seasonal workers a little. I ask about Ginger- first words from Youngin's mouth 'he's a misogynist.'

I asked him why he thought that. (There are many misogynists at this location, as someone that is woman-shaped I see it often, I am comparing notes.)

"We were on our way to a location and a driver was going really slowly. When he got around her he said 'fucking women drivers.' Like he was going out of his way to prove that the driver was a woman."

The last month or so, Youngin worked exclusively with me because I knew that it was a matter of time before he said something that pissed off one of the guys. He was not going to get along with people here, it just wasn't happening.

When he left, everyone wanted to know what he was like to work with. And I finally got to have a conversation with Ginger.

"I'd like to ask you something a little strange- he said that on his first day there was an issue with a driver going slowly. Can you tell me about that?"

"Oh yeah! She was going super slow and when I got around her I said 'yup- little old lady driving.' And he was like 'what's that supposed to mean?' And I just kind of dropped it, but I hear he was saying I was a misogynist over it?"

So I give Youngin some grace because he's young, he's got a social bubble that's very liberal, he has not met very many people that weren't part of that kind of scene. But he often talked about how every person here has said something that pissed him off and he seemed really surprised that I (woman-shaped queer liberal) would be okay working with all these sexist homophobes.

And I give grace to Ginger because he had no reason to think that his words would be interpreted like that. What he was saying was normal to him. This is... somewhat the culture of landscaping jobs. And its not even close to the worst thing I've heard out of these dudes mouths. (Literally had one of the dudes comment that he would like to 'motorboat' one of the pedestrians.)

It was weird for Youngin to carry that with him for the whole two months that he worked here, over a very... small comment.

Every single person I've worked with here has said something that has given me pause and I tuck it away to rant about later and then I let it go. If it gets out of hand, I talk to one of the bosses about it. I know how to contact HR. I came into this place knowing that I was going to disagree politically with most of the people that I work with because I'm coming in to a culture that is fundamentally different from my own.

If I am being frank, I find the overt bigotry somewhat better than the corporate bullshit of 'we value your contributions, but won't be granting your accommodations request out of fairness to other workers' or the glass cliff or literally being fired for my sexual orientation but phrased with 'oh you just weren't a good fit for the culture here.' I at least know what I'm getting into when I come to work. I know what not to talk about. Last time I thought I was safe to talk about something queer with my boss she blindsided me with some transphobic garbage.

Its admirable to stick up for the marginalized people in your life, but part of changing minds is knowing the time and the place to comment. I think I've changed more minds at this warehouse by being a visibly out lesbian at work than I have by making carefully crafted speeches.

That is fine. It is fine to disagree. Sometimes you have to work with racists, homophobes, and assholes. That is part of being an adult. You talk about things like... sports or TV or weather or some cool bug you saw. Finding common ground with people who are different from you in many ways is an important part of socialization and it sucks to think you have anything in common with a jackass but look- you're spending 7-ish hours with these people and at some point some of them are going to say stupid shit. You are going to say stupid shit also. I have said my fair share of stupid shit. Deal with the fact that you're all stupid shits.

And for fuck's sake, wear your hardhat.